#I got trained out of asking people if they were mad at me VERY early

[brinnanza]

it has been so long since I've had to learn how to live with a new person (because I've lived with only Joe for ten years and now his partner lives with us) that my brain thinks I am 12 years old and tiptoeing around my parents so they don't yell at or hit me and that is an Extremely stressful way to live in your own house especially when you don't go out that often

[wosoamazing]

Allergic?

Summary: You're sick and Alexia thinks its an allergic reaction.

Warnings: Vomiting

A/N: Decided to give you this tonight, I will also be releasing a fic tomorrow morning (the requested fic).

You were sitting in your room doing your school work, when you decided to go out to Alexia and ask her for some medicine as you felt kind of sick. You had felt funny for most of the day, however it got worse as time went on.

“Ale, I don’t feel the best,” you said as you walked into the living room, noticing some of your teammates were over. 

They all looked over to you, “Do you want some medicine Bebita?” you nodded. “Come on, follow me, does anyone want a drink while I’m there?” Mapi nodded and followed you and Alexia into the kitchen. 

“What’s wrong?” “I feel kind of itchy, and my stomach kind of hurts.” you replied to her as you scratched your stomach, Alexia lifted up your shirt which caused her face to drop in sorrow. You looked down to see your stomach was covered in big red splotches, “I think you’re having an allergic reaction, I’ll get you an antihistamine and then you should have a shower and we can put cream on the hives. Mapi can you fill up Y/N/N’s water bottle? It should be in the drying rack.”

“Si,” Mapi replied as she reached for your water bottle.

As Mapi was filling up your water bottle and Alexia was sifting through the medicine drawer, your stomach started upheaving its contents, out of nowhere. Tears started to roll down your face as your stomach continued to violently eject its contents. Mapi had moved by your side and was rubbing your back trying to comfort you. 

Alexia wiped your mouth with a cloth before pulling you in for a hug, “Oh Bebita, we aren't in a good way are we.” You shook your head, as a small whimper came out of your mouth, causing Alexia to pull you in closer. 

It was something she had realised pretty early on, the fact that you wanted to be with someone as close as humanly possible when you were upset, unwell or injured. When you got your first sickness while living with her, what could barely be considered as a minor cold, you wanted to be with her constantly, she was worried that you were sicker than she thought, so she called Leah. Leah told her it was normal, and to expect it, she had explained to Alexia that you would choose specific people to be with when you were unwell, some much more preferably than others, and that it sounded like Alexia had become your Spanish Leah. It wasn't that you were weak, Alexia literally had to stop you from going to training when you had food poisoning from Ona’s cooking, she had to pull over on the way to training so you could throw up, and then you got mad at her when she turned around to go back home. You just enjoyed comfort, and the sicker you were the worse it got.

You walked into the bathroom with Alexia, who saw the stream of tears on your face increasing, pulling you into a hug before you gagged. “Okay Bebita, it's okay.” she said as she turned you around and shuffled you over slightly, so that you were in front of the toilet. You emptied more of your stomach contents into it, and Alexia constantly rubbed your back as you did, trying to provide you some form of reassurance and comfort.

“Oh Bebita, how about we get you into the shower and then you can lie down and maybe try to sleep, see if that helps.” “Will you stay with me?” you asked softly “Of course Bebita, does that sound good though?” you nodded, “Okay, I’m just going to grab some clothes for you, just stay here.” she rushes out and returns very quickly. She had Leah’s hoodie in hand along with a pair of Peter Alexander PJ shorts, they were the Australian Vegemite ones, a gift from Sam and Steph. She chose the hoodie as you always wore it when you were down, she also thought it would be a good option as it had been worn heaps so it was soft and also hadn’t been washed recently-ish, as she did not know what you had your allergic reaction too yet, so she was being cautious.

You stayed in your crop top and undies whilst you showered, Alexia didn’t want to leave you alone so she got you to keep them on, you were glad she stayed when you started throwing up again. Just after you stepped out of your shower, you collapsed down in front of the toilet, heaving more of your stomach contents into it, Alexia wrapped a towel around your body before rubbing your back. As your stomach continued to violently eject its contents your body began to shake, and hot tears pricked your eyes, she helped you up and changed, before directing you out of the bathroom and into her room, sitting your shaky body down on her bed and crouching down in front of you.

“Bebita, I’ve booked a doctors appointment for you for tomorrow, I’ll come with you and stay with you the whole time,” you nodded slightly, before the tears that had been threatening to fall for so long started to stream out and down your cheeks.  You felt really really sick, your body was shaking, your whole torso was itchy and hot, and your stomach was churning, “Let's go out to the living room, you can lie down on the couch, the girls are out there but I can get them to leave if you want,” you just shook your head.

Alexia walked you out to the living room, there was a spot on the couch already set up for you, with your pillows, some blankets, and your water bottle, it looked very inviting, so you laid down, Alexia continuously had a hand on your back as she directed you out to the living room, however you lost contact as you started lie down, seeing her leave.  “Stay?” you said weakly, Alexia was going to get you some ice packs for your torso to help but you were clearly very unwell and you needed her.

“Of course Bebita,” she said before sliding in behind you, her legs were stretched out in front of her, so you shuffled back towards her for more comfort, she put a hand on your upper arm and you closed your eyes, to see if you could fall asleep, hoping that you would feel better after you sleep.

 Her hand lifted off your upper arm and you let a small whimper at the loss of contact. “It’s okay, I’m just going to put an icepack on your back okay, it’s going to be cold, but hopefully it helps.” She placed the ice pack against your back, it felt cool and stopped the itching a bit, and Alexia saw your body relax slightly. She put her hand back on your upper arm, moving her thumb up and down to help comfort you, before she spoke “There is a bowl on the seat next to you if you need it, and I think you should sleep Bebita, it would help, I’ll stay here with you the whole time,” “Th-thanks” you said before drifting off to sleep.

_____

You woke up and it must’ve been much later, the girls had all gone, it was dark outside and Olga was sitting on the couch in front of you, you couldn’t feel Alexia behind you anymore and so you were confused.

“Ale,” “She’ll be right back Bebita, she was just going to the bathroom, do you need anything?” Olga responded to you, you didn’t say anything but sat up and shuffled closer to Olga, who realised what you were trying to do and opened her arm out for you. You decided to move and sit in her lap, she always had her legs crossed, so it made things easier. She welcomed this action and helped you into her lap before she wrapped both her arms around you, you leant against her with your head resting on her shoulder. 

“Are you feeling any better?” “I guess”

“Olga Babe, I think we should wake the Bebita up and-” Alexia was cut off as she walked into the living room seeing you awake sitting on Olga’s lap.

“Yes?” you ask her.

“Are you feeling better?” “Kind of” “I was thinking maybe we head up to bed, it's getting kind of late, do you want anything to eat Bebita? We didn’t wake you up when we had dinner as we thought you needed the rest." You just shakd your head, feeling nauseous at the thought of food.

You all head up stairs and get ready for the night, Alexia told you to sleep with them tonight so you crawled into the middle of their bed, falling asleep almost immediately, Alexia and Olga weren’t even in their PJs yet, they both sent you a sympathetic look.

_____

You woke up during the night and suddenly felt the need to be sick, you bolted upright, frantically looking around, with a hand over your mouth, Alexia was a very light sleeper and so she woke up from your movement, she grabbed the bucket and placed it front of you, before you started to gag, your body was shaking and your eyes were watering. You had been gagging for the past 10 minutes but nothing had come up, Alexia had continuously rubbed your back and whispered reassuring words to you. After you had finally stopped gagging,  Alexia sighed before she pulled you into her chest, lying back down, you laid into her, you felt so exhausted and so sick. A few minutes later you started to gag again, so you tried to sit back up and grab the bucket but Alexia’s wouldn’t loosen her grip on you. “Bebita, it’s okay, I don't think you can be sick, your stomach is empty. But if you are sick and it does get on me and the bed it’s okay, it’s nothing we can’t wash. Let's just try and get back to sleep.”

[mack-devereaux]

Hiii i wanna ask if ya can write something with Vince? Maybe him getting into a fight (so hot i love it) and hin hurting his wrist are something? And reader taking care of him afterwards. Plleeaassee

Vince Dunn

Omg this is my first request!! I’m so sorry it took so long! Also check out my other fic about Vince. I think they have a similar vibe. But This has no relation to that one. I had so much fun writing this. Just a reminder this is a work of fiction and my imagination, this is not based on true events. Thank you to the anon who requested!

Picture is from Pinterest, no triggers except for cursing and mentions of blood. I think that’s it! Enjoy!

When Vince first moved to Seattle he was excited. This was a brand new team and he had more opportunities to make a name for himself as one of the more aggressive defensemen in the NHL. He had always had a temper on the ice, even in his early days in high school and in the OHL, and he was good at running his mouth. He was always respectful to the medical training staff and the coaching staff, he never took his anger or frustration out on the people who helped him get back on the ice.

Did he cause the fights on purpose? Maybe.

Was he mad about being hauled into the cute medical trainers office to get patched up? Absolutely not. He enjoyed talking with y/n and getting to know her a bit better.

Did he cause fights just to see her? No, he truly has a passion for the sport, he just sometimes got a little too involved with the banter sometimes. However a perk to all this was those few minutes alone with y/n. Although she never really spoke to him much outside of work and was always very quiet he knew how passionate she was about her job. No matter what she was always so attentive to the injury and informative about what she was doing to help said injured player.

Y/n loved the energy of the home games, she typically didn’t get to travel very much with the team, only to close games, but something about the atmosphere of home games had her just buzzing with energy. Most of the time she got to watch the game from the tunnels, it was the perfect spot to see most of the game and it was easy to drag injured players back to the locker room to tend to the injuries. Tonight’s game was a home game against the Colorado Avalanche again, a team known to get the Kraken a little riled up. Just the week prior Vince had gotten himself into quite the scrum and ended up with a cut on his nose while playing against the Avalanche.

*flashback to a week prior*

Y/n was sitting in the medical room at Ball Arena, going through the medical kits organizing some of the supplies. She had heard the roar of the crowd and immediately knew there was a fight that happened. Shortly after that, the third period had ended. Hearing the players stomping down the tunnel shouting and cheering she already knew who was headed her direction.

“Vince..” y/n sighed pulling all her medical supplies back out.

“Don’t act like you aren’t happy to see me” Vince chirped at the girl.

“You’re gonna have some serious damage to your nose if you don’t stop” y/n said as she was washing her hands and throwing her gloves on “I’m surprised you don’t have a permanent scar from how many times I’ve seen it busted”.

“That just means you are doing a great job babe. I’ve got you to thank for keeping me looking good” Vince smiles.

Y/n rolled her eyes and turned around trying to hide her blush. Knowing this was the exact reason as to why she fell for him. He was just so charming. He knew exactly what to say and that’s why she could never date him. That and the fact that she technically worked for the same organization as him. Were they coworkers? No, but surely it was still frowned upon. At least that’s what she told herself anyway. As she was cleaning off the blood from his nose she caught herself admiring him. He truly was one of the most beautiful people she’s ever laid eyes on. Once the bleeding stopped she checked for other injuries, and sent him to be with the rest of the team.

“Promise me you’ll keep out of trouble for at least the next week” she called to him as he walked away.

“For you? Never.” He added with a wink.

*present*

Five minutes left in the third period and y/n had gotten to watch maybe 10 minutes total of the game. Partially because she didn’t like seeing Vince fight much, and because the players definitely kept her busy. This was probably the most bloody noses and knuckles she had tended to in her entire career. Normally the crowd goes crazy and encourages fights, and she definitely enjoyed that. But for some reason she couldn’t stomach seeing Vince getting hurt. I guess she had Cupids arrow to thank for that. After a few more minutes gloves went flying, curse words were being yelled and the crowd went wild. Reluctantly she looked over in front of the players bench and Vince had thrown a Colorado player on his back.

“Oh for fucks sake Vince” she muttered under her breath.

“You got him or do you want me to take care of him this time” the head medical trainer asked y/n chuckling and shaking his head.

Y/n looked across the ice as Vince and the Avalanche player got tossed in their respective sin bins, she sees that Vince has his helmet off and is holding his wrist.

“I think he hurt his wrist, do you see him messing with it?” y/n points to Vince.

“I’ll take a look when we get back there but I’m sure he’s fine. I think you can handle it after that” the trainer says as they walk back to the locker room.

After the game y/n was in her office waiting for Vince, it had been nearly 40 minutes since the game ended. What was taking him so long? She knew Coach had told him to stop by after their after game meetings and interviews. While she was waiting she decided to tidy up and clean a bit. As she was cleaning her desk she found the puck that Vince had signed and gave to her earlier that year.

*flashback to late last season*

Y/n was standing behind the players bench. It was the last home game for the season, then they were headed into playoffs. Looking onto the ice she watched the players warm up and interact with fans. Vince was watching y/n as he was skating in circles, getting a boost of confidence he picked up a puck and signed it with a note. Smirking he passed by and shouted “hey y/n! Catch!”

Panicking y/n shot both of her hands in front of her face as the head medical trainer caught the puck before it smacked her in the face.

“Really Dunn?!” Y/n shouted.

Vince grinned and skated off, shaking her head she looked at the puck she noticed it said “hey pretty girl” with his signature. Blushing she shoved it in her pocket before she could get scolded.

“Oh he’s so got it bad for you” the trainer said.

“Leave the chirping to the players would you” y/n muttered “besides it’s not like I can date him anyway.”

“Technically…”

“Don’t tempt me” y/n sighed “my heart can’t handle the heartbreak that comes with that one.” She continued to watch him skate around and talk to his teammates with a huge smile on his face.

*back to present*

Y/n smiled at the memory. Not knowing she wasn’t alone, because of course Vince would walk in at that very moment. Leaning up against the doorframe Vince coughed snapping her back to reality.

“My God Vince, now you choose to be quiet? You scared me” y/n shoved the puck back into the drawer.

“I’ll make sure to knock next time” he softly smiled. He totally saw that she still had the puck and it definitely boosted his ego.

“Let me see your wrist” y/n said.

“It’s fine” he muttered.

“If it’s fine let me double check then” y/n challenged.

Vince walked over and sat down on the bench in her office, while reluctantly holding his wrist out. He watched her face as she examined his wrist.

“I think if we wrap it for tonight and tomorrow you should be fine, but the swelling needs to go down significantly before you play again. I’ll clear you for practice but you have to be easy on your arm for the next few days” y/n said as she was grabbing the necessary supplies.

“Thank you for taking care of me y/n, I’m sorry for fighting” Vince whispered.

She smiled at him as she sat down and started wrapping his wrist. Knowing full well that he was watching her face closely the entire time.

“I’ll walk you to your car” Vince said.

“I’d appreciate that, thank you” y/n said as she turned back to him after putting the supplies away. With yet another boost of confidence Vince grabbed her by the waist and pulled her face to his and kissed her, she immediately kissed him back. The kiss was short and sweet. Electricity shot through her body and she felt as if she was on fire. After pulling away y/n whispered “we should go.” Neither of them saying anything as they left the arena. Vince was feeling defeated for the first time in a long time, why hadn’t she said anything? Did he over step? Did he make her uncomfortable? A million more discouraging thoughts ran through his head. Him not knowing she was in shock and on cloud nine all at once. Y/n unlocked her car and opened the door. Before she got in she turned to Vince and pulled his face to hers and slammed her lips onto his. Vince cockily smiled into he kiss and pulled her into him as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. After a few minutes they both pulled away, breathing heavy and trying to get as close as possible to each other.

“Thank you for walking me to my car Vince.”

“Let me know when you get home so I know you’re safe.”

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[hellkitepriest]

ee @ rough trade nottingham

finally getting to my little roundup several days later, hello. i must say going to nottingham was a real Choice for @shallowtboy and i, because it is not actually that convenient and close like liverpool is, and i mostly justified it with “well i went there to see dutch uncles in december so it’d be rude not to”. but we woke up and got on our stupid early train regardless.

went to an art gallery beforehand, found a copy of mark fisher’s capitalist realism in the gift shop — alex niven first read capitalist realism in january 2010, following a “head-on collision with the music industry”, did you know. saw a very cute pin of kraftwerk-style cats and nearly cried also.

when we queued up outside the venue (venue! it was Just A Shop) there were a good few people there already and we were glad we got down there when we did. doors were meant to be at 12, but they ended up letting us in half an hour later for some reason, which meant by the time we got in we had descended into some cold-induced madness that manifested in us humming the mad stone and bobbing up and down oompa loompa-style to keep warm for just. SO long. this bit would not cease.

we got in, and we weren’t Right at the front but we were close enough, and there was no barrier aside from the flightcases dumped on the ground, and i had to prepare myself for being waaay too close to jonathan higgs. which i WAS. i believe it was albie on here who said that if you’re in the first two rows at any of these shows you will end up making eye contact with this man, and yeah, that only gets truer if he already sorta knows who you are. EMBARRASSING.

it was a good show — not as rowdy and sweaty as liverpool, but what can you expect from a show at midday on a weekday, really. they played teletype at this one(!!! it’s not on my Playlist for nothing), and pizza boy, and i had a bottle of pepsi in my bag and turned to shallowtboy and took a big swig of it at the right moment because really i come to these gigs to have my own incomprehensible kind of fun with my best friend, and it was Funny. only then in the next chorus jon sang “you are afraid / that you’re a pepsi boy” which i did not really register until After, when shallowtboy pointed it out, and i had to contend with the fact jonathan higgs may well have seen me drinking my pepsi (i was about six feet away from him, he probably did,) and decided to make a thing of it. good god. gender win 🤷‍♂️

after the show it was signing time and we all verrry slowly shuffled out into a sort of queue. i took a photo of alex’s pedalboard on the way out, and said “i don’t know why i’m doing this, it’s not as if i know what any of these do”, and their guitar tech (who i have been mentally referring to as Clayton for various reasons, but i believe is actually called joe) overheard and went “neither do i, hah” and then i started chatting to him about what a shame it was that alex didn’t bring his little modular setup on tour this time round, and he told me all about pete’s ableton routing, and it was VERY FUN thank you claytonjoe for engaging with me. pls don’t find out i’m a massive gear poser.

SPEAKING OF— actual signing time. my rubiks cube was in my bag and i was NOT going to leave without it being signed. i managed to somehow barely interact with jon (cursing myself forever that i did not get to ask about the pepsi incident) but they all seemed fairly unsurprised by being asked to sign a rubiks cube, and all wrote their signatures very neatly in one of the little squares, minus jeremy for some reason. and Then.

i was wearing this shirt with the names of two modular synth brands smushed together, based on ONE decade-old post from this one forum that i had decided was the funniest thing in the world, yet another incomprehensible bit i am doing with myself, really, only turns out it’s the modular synth brands alex robertshaw uses the most. it came up on that podcast he did the other day. it was a real “oh for fucks sake” moment. so i showed him my shirt, and told him as much, and i expected there to be QUESTIONS about why the hell this shirt would exist, but he just thought it was great. (jeremy also approved, and said he saw me wearing it in liverpool. i did not interact with jeremy in liverpool. i was not even standing NEAR jeremy in liverpool.) alex then asked if he could take a photo to send to the guy he did the podcast with. YEAH OKAY SURE WHY WOULDN’T THIS NONSENSE BE HAPPENING TO ME. but he didn’t have his phone with him, i guess?? so he had to borrow mike’s phone???? so there’s a picture of me on mike spearman’s phone, i guess. hope the synth podcast guy did see it in the end.

writing this all out really does make it sound about twenty times more bizarre than it felt at the time. i love this ridiculous weirdo band. /\

[mayg-b]

@sbk-zgvlt @psycheprincess

Chapter 2 of my fanfic :)))

Chapter 2

Welcome to your new life

Sebek was looking at the potrait in denial, it was his litteral proof to doom 

 

"it must be a dream, Im probably in some kind of coma and my brain is playing tricks on me, something like a lucid dream...that must be it

 

sebeks tense shoulders visibly relaxed, since it was a lucid dream he could atleast have a bit fun right?

..its not like all of this is real right?

 

knock knock

 

Sebek looked towards the door

 

"Come in"  he said quietly 

 

Maid from earlier opened the door, she looked like a cat got her tongue. But she didn't stopped at her place and came near Sebek and offered the cup of water to him

"h-here is the cup of water you...requested young master.."

Sebek took the offered cup and held it with both hands

"Thank you, are you alright?"

"Y-yes!...umm may I ask how are you feeling today"

 

"I'm feeling well, but I want to stay alone for a while"

 

"As you request?..."

Maid left, looking weirdly awkward

Well, not like Sebek can blame her or something 

 

•Sebek Zigvolt, the main antagonist of the book was a loud character, a bit too loud for a lot of people's liking, he lived alone with his grandfather Baul zigvolt., for to train as a knight , Sebek didn't lived with his family, he lived with his grandfather, why?•

 

 • because his grandfather was a high ranked soldier who retired, perfect person to train with. And for some reason that book never explained, Baul and Lilia hate each other,

desperate people made tons of fan theories for the reason, most popular being "Baul betrayed Lilia in war, but never got caught and Lilia never talked about it" 

While least popular and the most stupid being "they were ex-lovers" it came after novel illustrations 

Like, who thoughts that? People really should stop shipping just because the looks of the characters

 

• anyways Sebek was a hard-core Malleus fan in the book and wanted to be his guard...it was his litteraly only dream. He already had bad feelings towards the main character even from the start of the novel because he heard Silver was a human. Sebek despited humans. Due to racist reasons and war obviously. he didn't even joined Silvers welcome back party, a party Lilia prepared at the castle of all of the places. That alone just showed how close Vanrouge family was to royalty.•

 

Sebek pursued his lips

 

•Sebek refusing to attend made the already hate relationship between Lilia and Baul worse than before•

 

you already hate him tho, why get more mad when he and his family doesn't attends?

 

See readers, just another stupid plot hole definelty.

 

Sebek moved his head up and down as if he just made sense to something

 

since I'm only lucid dreaming, what should I do now?, showering would be nice actually...but before that...

 

when, the same maid, came to check on her young master. Who seemed to be a bit late for breakfast time (well, not late actually but Sebek always came 5 minutes early.. til now..) she lost it..

 

Okay, him being unusually quite was something she could understand. Sometimes his throat hurted to a very bad degree that he couldn't scream, that's why she already prepared medicine too actually.

But this? This was....unimaginable! Unbelievable! 

What was it you ask?

 

His highness crown prince's portrait! It was! It was!-

 

Covered by a white sheet!?

 

'World must be ending'

Thought the Maid as she sitted down due to shock

 

creaaak 

 

bedroom door opened and Sebek, who finished showing came outside, when he saw the Maid in that state, he slightly bowed his head to side and spoke

 

"is something wrong?"

poor Maid fainted, poor one indeed.

 

 

 

 

 

At the dinner table, Sebek was eating alone, of course there was various butlers and maids and some knights but he was the only one eating, seems like Baul was busy

 

'Isn't that Maid overreacting tho? I just covered the portait...I wanted to take it out but Eh, what if it comes off as a disrespect to the royal family?'

"..."

 

'Well I can't really blame the Maid, this Sebek did said he would go as far as to illegally camp outside of the castle doors if he couldn't become a knight...'

 

Sebek sweetdroped as he remembed the second-hand embarrassment he felt while reading that scene..

Well he really did not had a problem with this character like some others, really! He didn't minded that this character was loud and sometimes annoying, he was even sometimes happy that this character was proudly showing off his dreams and idol! 

And no! He definetly didn't hated Sebek of this world before reading the book just because his siblings never-ending teasing for having the same name! Definelt not! Where did you get that idea??

It just that..sometimes Sebek took his hate with Silver and fanboying with Malleus a bit too far but he won't be like that.

 

Not in his lucid dream that's it! 

 

 

Right now, Sebek was walking around the mansions garden, 

'the faces of the knights when he said he won't be training today will never not be funny'

but can you blame him? The garden looks very peaceful.

While walking he came near a deep pond and he looked at his reflection

'now that I think about it...Sebek was a crocodile fae wasn't he? But he looks so much like a human...I didnt saw anything while showering either, Eh, maybe he has some kind of transformation or something'

while Sebek was watching his reflection and thinking, a pair of hands pushed him into the pond 

'!?!?'

sebek, who was in shock, tried to swim back to surface but the water was too cold and his new little body wasn't used to swimming...

'Its scary! Its scary! But- I'm dreaming anyways, wouldn't I wake up if I die?....'

Sebek fainted as a Maid, and 2 knights hurried over to the pond while 2 other knights ran after the assasin..

 

End of chapter 2 

( I'm done with chapter 2 what do you think??)

[enchanting-eloquence]

The boss, aka Teaching you Respect pt II (Jake Seresin)

Summary: When Jake invites the boys over for an unplanned guys' night, you have to remind him who's in charge.

3.7k words

Author notes: Sorry this has taken so long... I had too many ideas and couldn't put them all into practice. I swear I could write a whole book about sub Jake! 🤔 Also, I know nothing about college football, so forgive me if any of this is wrong! As always, thank you so much for reading - all comments, shares and feedbacks are very welcome. Also @fuckyeahhangman the bedroom scene was the one I wrote on the train... although the story your photo inspired will be on its way soon!

Warnings: Basically porn with a tiny hint of plot. Minors, this is definitely not for you - move along and do not engage! Femdom, p in v, oral (both m&f receiving), bit degradation, rough sex, a little angst, bad language, unprotected sex (be safe!). I think that's all but tell me if you spot anything I've missed!

The Boss

Part 2 of Teaching You Respect

It had been a long day and all you really wanted was the sofa, Jake, and a glass of wine, so when you arrived back to find three cars parked in front of your house you couldn’t help but let out a small groan.

Walking through the front door to cries of “pizza” mixed with the overly loud sounds of a football game felt a little like the final straw, and you wondered for a moment whether tears, screaming, or heading back out of the door would be a better move.

You hadn’t even kicked off your shoes when a handsome blond head appeared through the door, grin broad and green eyes crinkled at the side.

“Oh hey babe, we thought you were pizza.” He took a pull from his beer and strode barefoot towards you to press an open-mouthed kiss on your lips.

“Boys night?” You asked, your tone cold as you looked up at him.

He narrowed his eyes. “I told you, didn’t I? It’s my team against Coyote’s.”

You pursed your lips. “Doesn’t ring a bell. Any idea when you told me?”

The Hangman grin only widened, and he tilted his head to the side. “I definitely told you. We talked about it during flight practice last week and I said I’d talk to you the next day.”

“Day I got called away early right and we didn’t each other at all?

You thought about raising your voice, thought even about telling him to send his friends home. But if truth be told, you didn’t have the energy. So instead you shrugged on a sigh and ran a hand up the back of your neck. “You know what? Whatever. Just as long as I don’t have to be sociable. I’ll go get a drink and just head on upstairs while you have your boys’ night.”

He stepped aside but followed closely as you headed into the kitchen to grab a snack and a bottle of water, stepping behind you to wrap his arms around your waist as he kissed your neck. You shrugged him away as you continued to find food, but he only pulled you around to face him.

“Babe it was a genuine mistake, are you mad?”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m just tired Jake, it’s been a hell of a week and I could’ve done without coming home to a house full of people.”

He sighed and pulled you tight against him. “What if I promise to make it up to you later?”

You wriggled free of him. “Tonight’s not the night Jake, it’s been a shitty day. Just go have fun with the guys and we’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

Gathering up your snacks, you made your way upstairs, seething silently with every step you took and trying to block out the sounds of the football that blared from the room below you. Upstairs you changed into shorts and a tank and went to settle in bed, finding the new cheesy rom com Netflix had been promising you all week. But ten minutes in and the sounds of the game - not to mention the guys watching it - were way louder than anything you could comfortably manage with your own movie.

Could you turn the TV down please? I can’t hear myself think up here.

He read the message immediately, and you saw dots dance before you.

Babe you can’t watch football quietly. Can’t you turn the TV up?

This time the seething wasn’t so silent, a stream of curse words hissing out from your lips.

Not if I want eardrums. Come on Jake don’t be a dick.

The reply came quickly this time.

I thought you liked it when I was a dick. Liked the chance to remind me who’s boss 😈

FFS, are you kidding right now?! 1. I can remind you who’s boss without you being a dick and 2. Tonight is not the night.

This time there were no dancing dots, and though you waited for a moment, the TV downstairs continued to blare.

You were contemplating dressing again and heading out for a drink - ideally somewhere far far away from Jake… or maybe men in general - when the bedroom door opened slowly and a pair of piercing green eyes appeared around the side, Jake closing the door gently behind him as he made his way across the room.

“Babe,”

“Jake, don’t babe me. Just turn the fucking TV down, it’s not a big deal.”

“Easy for you to say.” Leaning over the side of the bed, Jake pressed his thick arms on either side of you and moved his lips over the side of your neck. “If I go back down there and tell the guys that you say we have to turn it down, they’ll think I’m whipped.”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, and we can’t have that from the best pilot in the navy, can we?”

He pulled back, eyes burning into yours in a way that made your core tighten in spite of you. “Do you know what they’d say y/n, if they thought I did exactly what you told me?”

This time as he moved back toward you you pushed him away, a gentle hand on the Longhorns jersey that covered his muscular chest. “If you did exactly what I told you we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.”

“Is that what you think?” Jake’s jaw was set as his eyes gazed pleadingly into yours and his voice hit a new low. “Because you know the power you have over me. You know I’ll do whatever it is that you want from me, all you need do is say the words.”

You couldn’t deny that it had an effect on you. Of course it did, because Jake knew all of the right buttons to push. So of course you reacted.

“Touch yourself. Right now.” You murmured, eyes never leaving his as you began to speak. “Touch yourself exactly as I tell you. Do you understand me?” He nodded, but you only shook your head in response. “Words Seresin.”

You saw the smile begin to form on his face, but he caught it just in time, nodding as he replied, “Yes ma’am,” and tugging down the heavy black material of his shorts and tight boxer shorts beneath to reveal the long, hard flesh protruding from a neatly patch of dark blond curls.

Slowly, you learned forward and took his hand, turning it up to spit on his palm before nodding towards his cock. Jake’s breath was heavy as his hand closed around the thick length, and as he paused to await instruction you found yourself mesmerised.

“Pull on your cock.” You whispered. “Hard. Show me how you do it when I’m not around and you have to think about me, to wish I was there.”

His hand began to move, slowly at first, eyes drifting closed and lips parting in a sigh.

“Does that feel good?” You asked, and when he only nodded you continued sharply. “I said does that feel good lieutenant?”

His eyes flew open and you met them steadily. “Yes ma’am.”

“Good boy. Now I want you to go faster, as fast as you can, while you tell me what you think about when you do this? When I’m not around.”

Jake swallowed audibly, the noise quiet compared to the blare of the television downstairs. “I, I think about your tits.” You nodded, encouraging him on. “About burying my face in them, about-,” he grunted softly. “Sliding my cock between them. Having you push them together tightly around me while I fuck in and out until I coat them in my cum.” His breath caught and you saw his hand stutter, but only nodded, your face expressionless despite the fire that had taken over your core.

“Oh lieutenant,” you tutted, leaning forward to place your hand over his until his grip had tightened further. You nodded encouragingly, “Such a needy boy for me, aren’t you? And what about when you’re at work. Do you touch yourself like this for me on base?”

Again he swallowed and nodded, silently at first until your raised eyebrow inspired a rapid “Yes ma’am” from him. Before moving your hand back, you swiped a finger over the tip of his cock and Brough the pearl of pre-cum you’d collected back to your mouth. As you licked it clean, you moved the other hand for him to continue.

His jaw slack, Jake shook his head in awe and began to move faster as his voice stuttered. “I think about you all the time on base. Think about sneaking you into my room. Putting you in - a flight suit and sneaking you into my room. Then having you take it off slowly until all you’re wearing is lingerie. Having you in front of me there in just those black lacy panties and bra. Then I’d - bend you over in front of the mirror, pulling your hair back while I fucked you hard, talking dirty in your ear until you wanted to scream, then putting a hand over your mouth so-.” Jake’s eyes fluttered closed and he hissed as his hand stuttered.

“Did I tell you to stop lieutenant?”

He shook his head and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “Need to stop, gonna cum.”

You nodded. “I see. Pull your underwear up.”

He followed your instruction through narrowed eyes, his skilled hands pulling the boxer shorts back up over an erection that was visibly throbbing. Once the shorts were fully back in place, you shifted onto your knees on the bed and crawled towards him, reaching out a hand to grip his hard cock through the fabric.

“You’re so desperate for me aren’t you Seresin? So desperate that you can’t even get through a week at work without thinking about fucking me?” As your movements quickened, you heard him whimper softly. “Listen to you talk, as though you’re in charge, as though I’d do anything you ask me to. As though I’d be the one who needs to be kept quiet when your cock is inside me.” You laughed and cupped his balls with your other hand, giving them a gentle squeeze that made him shudder. “As though it’s not the other way around. Who’s really in charge here Jake?”

Jake’s eyes were heavy-lidded and his breath was coming in loud, heavy pants as he croaked an answer. “You. You are ma’am.”

Continuing to pump him, you moved your other hand up to cover his mouth, gently at first. “That’s right. Which means you do what I tell you, right?”

He nodded, letting out a soft whine that only made you tighten your grip over him.

“And I want you to cum. Cum for me lieutenant, right now.”

His hips rutted against you, and all it took was three more tugs, firm and heavy, until he was twitching in your palm, soaking the material beneath one palm while the other muffled a loud groan. You continued to tug on him through the orgasm, feeling stream after stream of thick, hot cum spill into his underpants as you did.

It took what seemed like minutes before he stilled, his breathing beginning to settle and his eyes fluttering open.

“Oh Jake,” you murmured, your voice saccharine as you removed your hands and planted a chaste kiss on his lips. “You came in your shorts.”

He looked down, those green eyes dancing on top of flushed cheeks. “I wonder how that happened? Guess I should go clean up before the guys start to ask where I am huh?” Jake leaned forward to kiss you but you moved out of his reach.

“No no, there’ll be no cleaning up Jake.” He raised an eyebrow as you continued. “After all, you were the one who wanted to bring the guys over and watch the game, I wouldn’t want you to miss another minute.”

“But babe I’ll be uncomfortable and -.”

You laughed gently, “You mean the great Hangman will be uncomfortable being reminded that he doesn’t call the shots? That he’s really just a desperate, needy slut that came all over himself because he was told?”

Jake pursed his lips and began to shake his head slowly, but the fire in his eyes was all lust as he adjusted himself and nodded sharply. “No ma’am.”

You planted a kiss on his lips and shared a grin with him as he headed back downstairs.

The TV didn’t get any quieter once he’d gone, but you’d given up on caring. The unfulfilled heat between your legs had sent the movie far, far from your mind and instead had you drawing slow circles on your clit through increasingly dampening panties as you tried to decide whether you could wait until the end of the game for the mind-blowing orgasm you knew you could expect from Jake, or whether you needed the temporary fix of your vibrator until the game was over. As the heat within you increased, you found yourself becoming more and more daring, visualising increasingly teasing ways to get what you wanted from Jake without having to wait all night. Eventually, a plan firmly in place in your mind, you changed and got to work.

I’ve been thinking, maybe I should get in on this football game after all.

The message was followed by a photo; you wearing a Longhorns baseball cap together with the black lacy lingerie you knew was his favourite.

The reply was almost immediate.

You come downstairs like that and I promise game night will be over!

You grinned to yourself, impressed at how well you knew your man.

Jake! Of course I wouldn’t come down like that when your friends are there. I’d need some clothes on too.

Another photo - this time with one of his khaki uniform shirts worn over the lingerie, falling part way down to your knees.

Fuck. I’m on my way back up.

No need. I need another drink. Meet me in the kitchen in two.

You threw your phone on the bed and crept down the stairs, excitement and lust pulsing though your veins as you hoped to God none of the other guys would go to the bathroom while you were out in the open dressed like this. As you passed the living room, you heard Jake speak,

“I’m out of beer. I think we have more in the garage - I’ll go check.”

It was enough to make you hurry, running silently past the door so that you were waiting for him in the kitchen when he arrived, looking you up and down with a sinfully readable expression visible on his face.

“Baby you-,”

You held out a hand and removed the cap, placing it on his head as you shook your hair free and began to whisper. “Ah ah lieutenant, don’t get too carried away, Make no mistake that I’m only down here because you missed one very important job while you were upstairs before, and that means you have some serious making up to do, do you understand?”

He swallowed and watched wordlessly as you moved to close the kitchen door then began to unbutton the shirt, slowly.

“You see, it’s all well and good you telling me how desperate you are for me. All good you following my orders like the good little sub you are. But Jake, I expect you to make me come, do you understand?”

Jake nodded, and you swore there was a hint of drool on those perfect pink lips.

“Use your words lieutenant, you’re never going to be an ace if you don’t respect the people in charge.”

“Yes ma’am,” he whispered, hands twitching at his sides as he fought the urge to touch you.

You nodded. “So here’s how this is gonna go. After you left me hanging up there - guess we know how you got your callsign after all - I had to do all the hard work myself, so I’ve already gotten myself nice and wet.” You slid a finger inside the lace of your panties and brought it back to your mouth, swirling your tongue around the wetness before sliding it inside your mouth and then letting it go with a soft pop. “But what I really need is to be fucked.” You slid your panties down your legs slowly, and watched his erection grow again as you stepped out of them completely and pulled him closer to you by the orange fabric of his shirt. “I thought about using a vibrator but why would I? When I have a perfect fuck toy down here just waiting to be used?” Your lips were less than an inch from his as you exhaled the next words, your pussy-scented breath heading straight into his mouth. “So your job is to fuck me. To make me come on your cock, do you understand?”

He nodded, “Yes ma’am.”

Your hand moved to grip his sharp jaw. “Good boy,” and you pulled him into a deep kiss.

Jake’s nails gripped your bare hips tight enough to bruise as he kissed you back with a ferocity that almost sent you over the edge in itself, moaning softly into your mouth as your tongue and teeth made quick work of reminding him who was boss. When you were done you pulled back, staring him straight in the eye as you hissed the next order. “Now fuck me.”

He didn’t have to be told twice, and when you turned around to lean forward against the table, his hands immediately found your hips again, lining himself up at your entrance and thrusting his sticky cock balls-deep between your lips.

You heard his breath catch in unison with yours, and the low voice that chided him was much more shaky than you had expected. “No noise lieutenant, your buddies are in the next room remember?”

When his eyes met yours in the kitchen window, you saw absolute an arrogant determination reflected back that only served to make your walls flutter.

“Tell me again, what was it you wanted to do to me on base?” You asked.

Again, Jake didn’t need further instruction, the hand that wasn’t digging into your hip coming up to pull a ponytail into your hair and tug hard enough to arch you backwards as he pulled you further onto his cock. You let out a quiet sob and began to pant faster and faster as he moved, his rock-hard length plunging again and again into the most sensitive parts of you as they drove your pleasure higher and higher.

“To bend you over and fuck you, with everyone else right through the wall. Pulling your hair. Covering your mouth if you made a noise as you came all over my cock.” He paused and ground against you, the change of motion enough to make you breathe out a moan. “Fill you full of my cum and then sneak you back out with it still dripping down your legs.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, your breath a continuous rhythm of sobs as you brought a hand to your clit, desperately trying to relieve the deliciously painful pleasure that was fast approaching breaking point.

“You feel that babe?” Jake hissed in your ear in a low, arrogant Texan drawl that his buddies next door would recognise as the absolute epitome of Hangman. “Feel how much I’m turning you on? How, even when you’re the boss, I can still turn you into a quivering wreck? Why do you think that is huh babe? Because I’m the best there is.”

He punctuated the last three words with hard snaps of his hips, bringing you right to the brink of your orgasm; so close that he was right - you physically quivered as you writhed your way off his cock and turned to face him, snatching the hat off his head. But it didn’t matter; there was only one person going to be in charge tonight.

“On your knees Seresin, put that mouth to use.”

If Jake was pissed at the change of plan, he didn’t show it, face splitting into a wide grin as he dropped to his knees and grasped your butt with one hand, pulling you closer and closer to him until his nose rubbed mercilessly at your clit while he feasted on your soaked slit as though it was his last meal. When he slid two fingers knuckle-deep into your cunt, curving them into just the right angle, it was just too much. You shoved a fist into your mouth, biting hard on the flesh to prevent yourself screaming as you exploded around him, spilling out onto his hand and face.

As you stood there panting, Jake only grinned up at you.

“Clean yourself up this time lieutenant,” You told him quietly, trying to control the tremble in your voice as you recovered yourself enough to button the shirt again and collect your panties from the floor.

On command, Jake licked his fingers clean and ran the back of a hand across his face to catch the remaining wetness.

“I’m going to go in there smelling of pussy.” He murmured as he climbed to his feet.

“Good, it’ll let them know who’s in charge.”

He raised an eyebrow. “And I’m going to go back in with a raging hard on.”

You shrugged and balled your panties up into your breast pocket. “Then I guess you’d better hurry up and send your buddies home once the game has finished so we can take care of that for you.” You stepped forward to kiss him, the tangy taste of yourself on his lips as you rubbed a hand softly over his crotch. “Now go back in there and tell the guys I’m sorry I’m not up to seeing them.” You put a hand on the door before turning back to him. “And Jake, don’t forget their beer or they’ll wonder what we’ve been doing.”

And like that you were back out of the room, tiptoeing quietly across the carpet and back up the stairs wondering if maybe a guys' night was exactly what you'd needed after all?

[donnerpartyofone]

So what happened yesterday was, I had stupidly run out of the methylphenidate ER dose that I'm currently on, and decided to take two of the lower dose that I had left over from before. (Ironically I completely flaked on a doctor's appointment for the first time in my life when I was supposed to get the current script refilled, I just got so sick I forgot what was happening, but if you're going to flake on a doctor's appointment I guess it might as well be an ADHD appointment) I thought that the "slightly higher" dose from the two pills wouldn't bother me, I mean I've taken drugs before, but about half way through the day I was suddenly struck with a jarring, physical panic. Fortunately my blood pressure cuff thing didn't say I had to rush to the hospital, but I remained on high alert for the rest of the day and night, which may have colored my perception of what happened.

(don't get too excited, it's just weird)

I took the ferry to see my friend's demonic horror movie (the ferry is a highly underrated form of local transit, it is awesome especially on a rainy night), which was cute, and I love being at the movies even though you always run the risk that other people will taint your experience. Even the religious dogma of the Alamo Drafthouse doesn't stop people from being assholes, and sure enough as soon as a couple of young women (early 20s? idk) sat next down next to me, I started to smell this hot, spitty, artificial sweetener smell, and I realized oh no this bitch is chewing gum. I have a good amount of misophonia and gum is my enemy in any circumstance, but the girl was fully snapping the gum and blowing bubbles for the first 15-20 minutes of the movie. (She had to get rid of it when their cookies arrived) That was a tough one because even if I were the kind of broad who picks fights with strangers, it would be hard to win a fight about chewing in a business that is serving food...but anyway when the server came through to get them situated, they had some sort of altercation that left them both in hysterics. The second the lights came back on they both started ranting about how the server was sooo mean to them because apparently when they sat down one of them took her shoes off, and she was told to put them back on. This girl is going "I'M GONNA LOOK THAT UP AND SEE IF IT'S A REAL RULE! I BET IT'S NOT EVEN A RULE!" as if "no shirt no shoes no service" hasn't been a national punchline for decades and it's just a random and petty punishment that certain eateries uphold to be perverse. I guess also when the guy asked to pre-swipe a card for them so they wouldn't have to pay in the middle of the movie they didn't understand him and that made them mad, and then they were mad that he put the cookies on "the wrong table" (the one between them) as if they weren't both eating them. Like ok guys, I was young once, I too have been rude and been mildly corrected by an adult and been so humiliated that I had to make up a big story about how the adult is an insane person who hates me personally. I was 12 once, too. But holy shit you are old enough to get into this late R-rated movie, do your parents usually take you or what the fuck is your problem?

So as I was leaving I looked up the best way to get home (too late for ferry) and the apps were all giving me a big red Storm Warning warning that I had never seen before and suggesting that trains were running very irregularly or not at all until tomorrow. Outside it was warm and misty, not remotely as stormy as it had been when I arrived. What was going on? I got lost going to what was supposed to be the station with the earliest train, went into the station with the MOST trains, and just decided to just take whatever train came first going in the vaguely-right direction. The world outside the theater seemed to have become very apocalyptic while I was in there, and I was intensely watching my back. When I saw a tall thin woman all in black shuffling down the platform, I did a double take; my first impression was that her face was covered in blood. When I looked again I saw that she had bright red, very wet makeup of some kind smeared from her nose to her chin. The rest of her face was covered in a similar substance that was pitch black. She was not white, is the only other detail I was sure of. I couldn't evaluate the situation. Is this a performance? Is she dangerous? Is she in danger? What should I do? My train came before I could figure it out.

gif by @brody75 stupid tumblr wouldn't give it to me normally

A few stops later, the apps said that I should go outside and get a bus that would come in 25 minutes. Ugh, but at least it's coming. As soon as I got outside the apps said that I should have stayed underground and taken another train that was coming in 1 minute. I couldn't even run back in for that because the machine had done something fucked up to my card when I tried to refill it and I was forced to use the transfer for the bus, oh fucking well. So I'm waiting for the bus and I see this other bus coming from the opposite direction with its display flashing "EMERGENCY - CALL 911". I've been living here for a long time and I had never seen anything like that. Was it a real instruction for me? Or was it one of our cop-obsessed mayor's many advertisements for the cops that seem to be everywhere, constantly telling you where are the nearest cops to every location and how you should go find them and give them something to do? The bus pulled up to its stop across the street and I could see that there was just one passenger on it. It seemed scary. A load of people got on at that stop, I wanted to think at least one of them had a uniform on but I wasn't sure. At that moment my bus pulled up. I let everybody else on first and then I told the driver, "That bus across the street is flashing a CALL 911 sign." I thought he would know what to do. Drivers seem to look out for each other. He just stared at me. It was the blankest stare I'd ever seen. He didn't move and he didn't make a sound. I repeated myself and I pointed "That one, over there, is he ok?" ...or whatever I said, I was kind of freaking out. He just nodded, once, and kept staring at me. Then he put it in drive and I sat down.

also @brody75

I had wanted to spend all night working on this project I'm under deadline for--I might as well with all the extra amphetamines in my system--but I could no longer concentrate. I felt like I was in Jacob's fucking Ladder. I also felt like a complete asshole for not helping anyone. I don't know. I never know what to do. I'm constantly getting lost and I have no money and I'm small and clumsy and I don't feel safe with strangers and I don't automatically trust cops and I'm also fairly stupid and cowardly and I don't know how anything works. It's hard for me to imagine taking charge of any situation even when it seems like the choice should be obvious because of instructions or just decency. Also when you start helping people when do you stop? I often think of this standup bit by [cancelled comedian I don't want to argue about] where he describes a younger relative visiting him in the city for the first time, and she's shocked by the first really dire homeless person she sees in Port Authority. She goes rushing over to him and when the comedian stops her she says, "You mean he doesn't need our help?" and he says "Oh no, he needs you desperately! We just don't do that here." And I mean yes, ha ha cynicism, but it's more like how do you even begin to deal with individual instances of a problem that is so huge and ubiquitous that even the large support systems in place can barely handle it. One time in the dead of winter I posted a picture of a pigeon that was so puffed up it was hilariously huge and spherical, and someone scolded me about how "that's a baby" and if I see it again I should transport it to a rehab center. They obviously didn't understand the scale of the photo and must have mistaken the puffery for juvenile down, but it's also like, if I start helping pigeons when will it stop? I've helped a number of animals either get out of a snag or get to rehab when they were obviously incapacitated or sick, but if I lowered my threshold of intervention to "a pigeon that looks cold or uncomfortable", it would never end. Technically probably every rat and pigeon in the city needs some kind of medical attention, they say rats here have diseases that haven't even been identified by science, but what's the actual, rational response for individual citizens?

Anyway I have totally ruined my own weird freaky spooky one-crazy-night anecdote with this awkward musing about what people are supposed to do for each other, and I have made it very clear that I am terrible in an emergency and do not help people. And I'm already imagining arguments with tumblr randos who are always handing out authoritative ethical advice about what to do in every situation, in a way that reveals that they have no real life experience of their own. And now I need to like get to my stupid telehealth visit with the doctor I flaked on last week, and stop being insane, and go back to work. I don't really know why I write these things down. I guess I must have to.

[peppertaemint]

I've always felt that the jikookers vs. taemin feud kinda mirrored the taekookers vs. jimin situation, but at a much smaller scale, of course. I agree with you that they feel threatened by taemin's indisputable stature as an artist, as it disrupts the narrative that bts is always the first and always the best at everything, and also because jimin looks up to him and is influenced by him (as if it wasn't obvious enough before, now we got the confirmation from the man himself, thank you very much). This reminds me of taekookers getting mad at jimin for standing out so much as a performer. I mean, he obviously does, that's why they're always all up in his business instead of focusing on their favs' "records". Also, they hate the fact that they're close because they read taemin as queer, which makes them think that they actually might have kissed, once, at a party (just once). Kookie's friends look straight enough to them, so they can stay. A bit homophobic if you ask me. I'm sure that if we saw taemin around jimin publicly more often, he would've been already promoted to the same The Other Woman™ role jimin occupies for tkks. And besides all that, I could write an essay on why jimin's friendships have always been under scrutiny because many people can't take the fact that he has more going on in his life besides being the members' cheerleader and jungkook's devoted wife, but that's a different topic.

Thank you for this Ask, Anon. You raised a lot of salient points here. The one I'm gonna pick up on is Taemin's perceived queerness, with emphasis on perceived.

There is an odd thing that happens with non-fans. They mostly think he's gay, that it's obvious, and they don't really like their favourite having a connection to him. While, within the fandom community, shawols cannot decide if they think he's gay. If you were to ask around, you'd get quite a few different opinions.

I find it interesting because the "outside" community has very specific and strong opinions of him. I connected with a Korean-American lady in her 50s a while ago and talked about all things Kpop. She wasn't a shawol. One of the first things she said, unprompted, was, oh Taemin, he's gay but can never come out, what a shame/challenge for him (I was chatting from a 2Min account, just for context). I was a little floored at how readily she shared this fully-formed opinion.

It seems the world outside shawols have already made up their minds about him, in one way or another. I think about when he was young and had that beautiful long hair, but his frame was still so slight that the gender confusion for an onlooker was understandable. It must have been hard to have the world decide that you were sitting somewhere on the trans spectrum. And to know everyone thinks they know you're gay.

There is a zero percent chance of him not feeling these things, and he's certainly done both reactionary hetero-leaning performances and queer performances. Pretty Boy is and Internet War are the first that come to mind. And it's worth remembering that sometime in the early 2010s, there was a Korean news report about homosexuality in kpop idols, and he and Jonghyun were named in it (as a couple, I think 💀).

I don't love the song Pretty Boy, but the choreography with its military steps and these lyrics have a lot to say.

Hey you, tough guy / Relax your hardened shoulders / Hey feel the way I move

I’m like a speeding train / You’ll be surprised / Look at that poor girl, I hope you notice / She says “you’re a guy so…” like a habit / Why is being sensitive and prepared the opposite of being a man?

Cause I do it I do it for you / I won’t pretend to be innocent like a puppet / Everyone talks so easily

I may always seem pretty, I may always seem good / I may seem nice, I may seem soft / But that’s all a part of your imagination that’s over my head / (Pretty Boy)

[sergeifyodorov]

Nathan MacKinnon for the hockey impressions ask please. If you have not already done so.

I actually have no idea what my first impression of nathan mack was; the earliest thoughts i can remember thinking might have been Terminal Sidney Obsession, so let’s start with that. Wow, I think, looking at people discussing this freak on the internet, that guy is really into sidney crosby

IMPRESSION NOW

Wow, this guy is really into Sidney Crosby

Mostly, Natemac strikes me as just… a real fridge of a man, a two-hundred-pound slab of muscle with a crooked nose. (the nose is good)(love the nose). He’s almost entirely a creature of obsessive hyperfixation and complete bullheaded determination -- you can see this in even just the way he skates, which has a forward momentum to it that even faster skaters like McDavid can’t match. Moves like a train, no real control or delicacy but good god you better get out of the way.

A tangled mess of feelings and emotion that he’s super terrible at understanding, even if he has the good grace to know how bad he is at understanding those feelings, which actually does help quite a bit. If I were to guess, I’d sum up those feelings as “blinding rage,” “all-encompassing desire to win,” and “ferda.”

This sort of all-things-lead-to-either-W-or-L worldview leads him to develop a very black and white way of thinking… especially re food. im not gonna say he has an eating disorder but i very much have heard he thinks things like milk are poison so whatever his relationship with food is it’s certainly not healthy

Oh my god he wants to fuck Sid so damn bad. I don’t even pretend to have vibe-based takes on his sexuality but gay or straight he wants to fuck Sid so bad

FAV MOMENT

i , as with … probably many of you, grew to know natemac during the iconique avs 2022 cup run, and esp since my leafs got eliminated early i got to watch a lot of it. Fav natemac moment is definitely the hat trick against the blues, topped off with the third goal, which was just a gorgeous end-to-end coasting that you could FEEL coming from a mile away. So that’s probably my fav natemac moment i am after all a simple hockey watcher sometimes

IDEA FOR STORY

sidnate nate’s-a-penguin au mayhaps… actually no idea. 

i find nate just an absolutely fascinating character simply because of his tangled ball of Emotional Problems, but because he’s so single-minded in all of them it’s actually hard to maincharacterize. like he’s got nuance, he’s got flow, he just doesn’t have the dimension to carry out a story in which he is the main actor. Get that boy into an ensemble cast

UNPOPULAR OPINION

I don’t know of enough opinion on natemac to know what’s popular and what’s unpopular… but i do not think he should be the avs captain in the future if/when landy gives it up. Imho that’s cale’s c to take (or mikko’s, even)… natemac is obviously a leader but he’s just too goddamn much of a control freak you can’t take this bitch anywhere. Like everyone needs a freak who will stand up for the team but if that guy is given free reign to yell at any time because there’s a c on his chest he will do so. i like the avs nathan’s mad-with-power arc would not suit them…

FAV RELATIONSHIP

Are you kidding me

FAV HEADCANON

he thinks milk is poison not because of its fat/sugar/caloric content but because he is lactose intolerant and unaware of it

[whinlatter]

Hello i just love your works! Your so good!!!!

I just want ask you about when you feel Ginny and Harry got back together after war? Did she accept him immediately because she must have been very hurt after the break up and her Fred's death (not Harry's blame of course, but our boy must be blaming himself very hard). So what do you think was the rough timeline of them getting back especially because may 10 was the day they had first kiss.

Also are u planning on writing any hinny fics Or after war hinny fics? I loved beast so much and I desperately reading it very much. I have read orchards at least 5 times and I cannot admit how beautiful it was.

So sorry my english is not very good I indeed try to improve:) i am reading more english books so that i become good at it. but I love reading your works it makes me so happy that you time from your difficult PHD work to put out such good fic. I like to thank you so much and I love you and your works. I hope you like the fandom and are enjoying it. My friends who read your fics also love you so much. ❤❤❤🌈🌈🌈

❤️ most important thing first - thank you SO so so much anon (also your english is great!) honestly my phd work is an endless headache, so writing fic is like a breath of fresh air after a long hard day banging my head against an (intellectual) brick wall. so then if other people actually want to read the fic then that's just absolutely excellent, absolutely the cherry on top of the cake!

i am going to put out something, probably a oneshot, about that post-war summer at some point (there's a teeny discussion of the very loose shape i have in mind for that fic, a project called rubble - talked about it a teeny bit here, but it's very early days on its exact shape and contours). so i'll hold off on saying toooo much on exactly how I think the H/G reunion/getting back together would go if that's ok!

that said... i think there are lots of different ways to be together, you know? it's a theme that i want to play with in beasts - the different ways that 'being together' can look like. honestly i'm not sure they're the kind of couple who are ever like 'are we now boyfriend and girlfriend again' 'are we back together' 'are we exclusive' - i think there's something deeper and more profound to their relationship than that (though that doesn't necessarily make it easier). i think harry and ginny would physically want to be around each other right away, by instinct or like muscle-memory. sort of like, when harry first sees gin in DH vibes, when he just wants to hug her and hold onto her. when he's most lost he reaches for her, and i think that would be a mutual thing in the immediate aftermath of the battle, and in the first few days and weeks afterwards. but those two also have a lot to talk about and wrangle with, huge gaps in experiences in the year of the war, lots of silences and secrets and half-truths that were present in their relationship in hbp. i think it's less that ginny would be mad about the breakup than they would both have a hard time figuring out how to bridge the gaps in experience and knowledge about all that's gone down. that bridging would take real, hard, talking work, like a muscle you have to work and train and develop. you're so right that ginny and her family's grief would also make that harder. i guess that's the kind of the beasts question again for me - less 'how do they get back together' than 'how do they start to put themselves back together', with their relationship being instrumentalised in that process, if that makes sense. i think, with harry and ginny, the interesting question for writing to explore can be 'how do they get back together' (and i will read every fic i can get my hands on that explore that q), but i don't think it's the only question, if that makes sense.

ok answer too long but i hope this is helpful, thank you again!

(also other anons extremely touched and overwhelmed by the state of my inbox atm - if you've sent an ask and i haven't replied yet will try to get to it this weekend but if i don't manage to reply then forgive me and i am still very very happy and grateful you got in touch!) ❤️

[incarnateirony]

That last post really makes me appreciate fans like you and other series positive spaces. There is a fandom I am in (for a manga) where for a while it very much became anti-led when a new generation of fans joined, trying police fans and say who we older fans should hold empathy for or who to hate. They completely missed the point of its story saying of not everyone is going to agree on how forgiveness is given. Very much feels like 2po is trying to pull that with those of us trusting the show.

That's exactly what he's doing. Like we've been saying, he's literally trying to manipulate a universe where the people who enjoy the show, the people the show was written for, are bad fans; and that the hate watchers, the people who discredit all the work crew members are actively posting about and asking us to acknowledge, people who bad faith the creatives, are somehow "good fans."

I've seen it happen before, as you described. Hell, it happened in SPN, which is WHY this truth is so buried. If fandom is interested, and really cares, it can go back and unpack YEARS of manipulations people like 2po have done against the creatives.

For example, inspiring people to bad faith bobo's efforts by insisting he had no intent. 2po was all over that, and denying the confession was already written until the production scripts dropped. At this point, Bobo's intent was actually very well known to anyone that like. Spoke. To him. Or like. Paid marginal amounts of attention. Or weren't so untrustworthy they just got his smug gay elf grin.

Season 12, market testing. Pushing back against the corporate blockade 2po also, at the time, claimed didn't exist. Now, of course, per convenience, he's pretending that hurdle exists, and thinks he can spin people's anxieties that way, when the new corporate structure actually liberates the content, not the other way around. But NOW, NOW!!! there's corporate interference. Nevermind his 5K failboat of denial, and us finding out the finale didn't even square its music licensing till the final week it was falling apart so bad.

What about Robbie calling Destiel canon in season 10? Carver passing a note on Bobo's first ep to play it romantic? These things were all screeched over for years to help inspire bad faith against the authors. They had footing in the previous institutions.

It's why, though, jared stans are so mad he isn't involved. Some even invested millions in his company to try to influence things and it's like, well, hope you enjoy the pennies back because on a fandom investment, what a waste.

In early years, efforts from authors were independent. Carver's writing room was very competitive. Robbie used to be one of the lone gay warriors with Edlund occasionally dropping a nice bomb. It wasn't until Dabb era the room became collaborative (barring singerbuckleming) and everyone worked towards a goal. But Robbie's been pulling that line the whole time, and Bobo when he tapped in (and played baton pass with Robbie S9-11), and yeah, Bobo trained the new kids and they worked as a pack.

And for *years* this fandom was monkey trained by antis to scream at them and tear them apart and call it queerbait while they were fighting their asses off and jousting with market testing issues, genre issues, and other property label issues (not to mention effects of the Chad Kennedy S9 incident.)

So now, people are kind of having to face that they abused the fuck out of authors for years that were on their side, and some people really don't want to face that. These are the kind of people and hatedom antis like 2po nestle in with and try to toxify fandoms with.

And neither I, nor Jensen, nor Robbie are letting it happen. On a fandom front, I'm not. On a property front, Jensen's not, hence banning certain content types from markets and distancing the J2 affiliation (check CE listing shifts over the last half year and the open access to autos). And on the fine footnotes of the canon's text pinning them down like a bug being studied, Robbie's not either. Cuz again, they only got a few episodes left to stunt.

But do. Not. Let. Them. Poison. This. Fandom. This is a new show, it's not even for them, and they don't get to fuck it up on entitlement to persist like angry spirits. The plot is literally Unpack Your Shit And Face The Truth Or Fuck Off To The Void.

[littlebosleepmusings]

Somebody's Watching Me - Chapter Two

On the Edge

Wanda leads you down the red line.

MASTERLIST

9:00 PM

All around me are familiar faces Worn out places, worn out faces Bright and early for the daily races Going nowhere, going nowhere

You and Wanda walk side by side along the tracks of a New York subway station. For the time being, no words are said between you, but you’re perfectly fine with it. Sure, your friendship is still new, but Wanda feels like someone you’ve known your whole life. Talks with her are always easy, and the silence is never awkward. It’s more of a peaceful quiet that you share together. Not something you need to force to fill.

Sure, you’ve got your other friends. Thor, Steve, Monica, Maria, Tony, Sam and company, but those always felt like Nat’s friends. People you’ve met through her or because of her. This time around, it feels nice to have someone of your own. Someone you don’t need to share. It’s nice to feel chosen, not because you have friends in common, but because someone actually enjoys your company.

You both come to a halt, as you spot the train light coming from up ahead. You angle yourself out of the way for the people passing behind you. Small crowds of bodies are to both sides of you.

Everything is fine, until you feel a particularly heavy stare on the right side of your face. It’s deliberate and razor focused. You try not to pay it any attention, but there’s there’s this gnawing feeling on the back of your neck, that won’t go away. Not until you force yourself to look.

So you stop fighting it and turn to face the random man. All the while, he keeps staring at you like there’s something wrong with you.

Finally, he speaks.

“This is not a dream,” he says to you. He doesn’t sound like a person at first, so you aren’t even sure you heard him correctly.

“What?” you ask him.

Suddenly, you feel yourself being yanked backward. The point of your high heeled shoes wobble, as you try to replant your feet.

“That’s a bit close," she says, as she releases your arm. It’s Wanda standing beside you now. Or maybe it was always Wanda.

You take in her face, like it’s the first time you’re seeing her. She looks beautiful, but tired. Then you look down, noting how close you were standing on the yellow designated line. An embarrassed giggle escapes your lips, but Wanda doesn’t look amused.

“Yeah. Sorry Wanda. Just-” She doesn’t let you finish.

“It’s fine.”

Right on cue, the train quickly whirs past, cutting off the rest of the conversation.

And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad The dreams in which I'm dying Are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you I find it hard to take When people run in circles it's a very, very

Mad world, mad world Mad world, mad world

Both of you step onto the train in silence. Wanda still looks visibly uncomfortable. Then, she turns to you.

“First time out of the house in a while, I bet.”

“Pretty much.”

Wanda turns to the map hanging high on the wall. She stares at it for a few moments, before turning back to you. “We get off on 18th Street, right?”

“Yeah. That’s the one.” You turn to her again. “You’re a good friend, Wanda. Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like you’re real."

“I’m real,” Wanda smiles back.

After group, when Wanda admitted to having a tough time, you were reluctant to leave her. When she heard you were headed to meet some friends after the meeting, she offered to escort you there instead. It isn’t more than thirty minutes away by train. She waited at the centre while you got changed into a nice red dress and some heels that you stored in your handbag. You even invited her along as a spur of the moment thing, but she politely declined.

Currently, you’ve exited the station and are walking down a city side street. The chilly late October air hits you like Winter. Or maybe you’ve been underground too long.

“Thanks again for letting me tag along for a bit," she continues. “It’s just ...you think you know someone and what they’re capable of, and then you realize just how wrong you were. It’s like a stab to the gut.”

Wanda is continuing her personal tale about her past relationship troubles.

“I don’t want to go back to that,” Wanda muses. “I don’t want to be second guessing every single thing I do.”

Looking at her, tugs at your heartstrings a bit. You’re reminded of why she likely offered to join you in the first place.

“Remember to call me if you feel like you might do something drastic,” you tell her.

“I will," Wanda promises.

Suddenly, you feel your phone buzzing in your pocket.

“Sorry. I gotta take this,” you reach into your coat for you phone.

“Go ahead.”

Jane texted and called you again, but you missed it both times. never checked for more until now. First time being before you headed underground. Her last message reads, “are you close?” Maybe she meant to text that to Thor.

You let out a small sigh, once you don’t see her name. Only Natasha’s. You stand off to the side and take the call, while Wanda stops to wait beside you.

“Hi, Nat. Yeah, almost there.” you smile, knowing exactly what she plans to ask you.

“Are you close? I’m impatient.”

“Super close.”

“Great. I won’t keep you then. Da skorava.”

“Later.”

Once you hang up, Wanda speaks. “Was this someone else calling you? You seem almost relieved.”

“Yeah, I thought it might be my friend, Jane. Truth is, I’ve been avoiding her. There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell her, but I can’t bring myself to. Maybe it’s not my place, all things considered.”

“Does it involve her?”

“Yes…but someone else too,” you admit.

“Where exactly is your place in all this?” Wanda questions.

“Just unfortunately caught in the middle.” You dread thinking about all the things you’ve been keeping to yourself lately.

“That’s never a fun place to be.”

You finally reach the entrance of the luxury club, taking in the luckily small line of people waiting out side it. Still, you let out a soft groan. You know you should have no problem getting through due to friends in high places, but the thought of being turned away, still scares you.

“Thanks for travelling with me, Wanda.” You turn back to her. You already asked her once, but feel like you should again. Just in case. “Are you absolutely sure you don't want to come in? I’m sure Thor’s celebrity will allow for a plus one.”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Wanda waves you off. “I’ll just wait for my Uber right here.”

“I’ll wait with you,” you offer.

“There’s no need.” She takes out her cell, and makes a few taps, but at a certain point, she looks confused.

“Need help?”

She hands you her mobile, with a rueful smile. “I usually walk or take the train most places. My brother is the one who usually helps with the apps and whatnot. He’s more of the tech person in our family.”

“You have a brother?” You question, while mindlessly opening the app for her, and waiting for the screen to load. Wanda never mentioned him before. You wonder what his thoughts are about Wanda’s…situation.

“Yeah, a twin,” she specifies.

You nod your head, quietly shrugging off the new information you just learned. “It’s simple. Just type the location you want to go to…”

“23 Spector Lane.”

You type it in and tilt the screen to show her. “It shows you price options and how long it’ll take. All you have to do is hit confirm.”

Wanda nods her head in understanding, so you hand the phone back to her. You watch as she taps the button herself.

“On it’s way.”

“I can wait with you while they get here,” you offer.

Wanda shakes her head. “You don’t have to do that. Go enjoy yourself.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come inside even just for a bit? I’m sure Steve won’t mind another guest. I also kind of want you to meet my friends.”

“Oh, I don’t want to intrude. Plus, I’m not even dressed for it,” she says, gesturing to her outfit. She’s sporting a thin grey coat, jeans, and a beanie.

“No one will care,” you try to persuade her.

Wanda just shakes her head. “Plus, I have stuff to take care of. It’s sweet of you to offer. It really is. Next time,” Wanda says with assurance.

“Alright. Next time,” you agree, choosing to respect her wishes. You plan to hold her to her promise.

She waves you off and regretfully, you head for the door to join the lineup.

When it’s your turn, you tell the bouncer you name, showing your him your ID. He barely glances at it, and is telling you to step inside within seconds. You turn to find Wanda standing by her lonesome on the curb. You don’t like leaving her to wait alone, but with the small crowd outside, you feel a bit better about it.

Instead of searching for the VIP area, you make a turn toward the washrooms. You take out your cellphone and dial.

“Hello?”

You hear shuffling in the background, before it gets quiet again.

“Bad time?” you ask.

“Not at all.”

“So I’m here,” you say with an airy sigh. “Any chance of you getting a cab and meeting me for emotional support?”

“That’s definitely not happening,” the male voice on the other end speaks. “Is this really why you called?”

“Yeah,” you shrug. “I thought you said it was okay to call you after hours, if I ever had an emergency…”

Stephen lets out a heavy sigh. “Not for this and I said emergencies. You’re meeting your friends, not members of Al Qaeda,” he states. “They’ll be glad to have you back.”

“Then why am I panicking so much?” You place a sweaty palm to your forehead, delicately as to not smudge your makeup. “I did a beeline straight to the washrooms, instead of going to find my friends. What’s wrong with me?”

“You only think you need support to do this, but you don’t, and you definitely don’t need me,” Stephen reminds you.

You’re good as staying quiet as he gives you one of his pep talks. He’s always had a way with words that calmed you down whenever you would freak out in sessions. It also helps that his voice is soothing.

Stephen continues. “Your trauma may have changed how you react to things, but not who you are as a person. They’d never see you any different, but we've talked about that already haven’t we?”

You find yourself absentmindedly nodding along, and forget he can’t see your response.

“These are you friends and you care about them, correct?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you answer out loud.

“So there should be nothing to be afraid of.”

You’re still hesitant, but deep down, you know Stephen is right. These are your friends. They’ve been with you through a lot. Not everything, but enough. Why would things be weird now?

Now you feel stupid for even bothering to worry about all of this. “You probably think I’m being pathetic right now.”

“I could never think you’re pathetic.”

“Thanks.” Suddenly, you mouth upturns into a slightly devilish grin. “I still think it would fun if you did show up.”

“And I think, I’m starting to regret giving you my personal number.”

“Wow,” is the only response you can muster. Your cheeks are beginning to hurt from smiling.

“You can do this. I have faith in you.”

It’s such a generic response, but for some reason, hearing it from Stephen, you actually believe it. Maybe because he’s so deliberate with his words and never says things he doesn’t mean.

Stephen says your name after you’re quiet for some time.

“Yes?”

“Have some fun tonight. Please. You’ll be glad you did.”

You take a deep breath. “I will try. Thanks.” You pause as you hesitate on what to call him. Dr. Strange or Stephen. You end up choosing neither. “Have a good night,” you add.

“You too.”

After putting away your phone, you look down at your trembling hands and force them into fists. You don’t know why, but you’ve always done it to calm yourself.

You take a final deep breath, as you exit the Ladies Room and venture deeper into the club.

[norixa]

Special Knife

Summary: A little knife throwing and training... and a little conversation with Caveira about your knife.

It was a warm spring morning and surprisingly, only a few other operator's were up. You were an early bird, always up at least an hour before most of the operator's. Sam was the one who brought your existence to your boss, Taina "Caveira" Pereira. The two of you got along fairly well most of the time. You would voice your concerns or opinions respectfully and do the most that you could. However, there has been a new operation on the horizon and you are not at all looking forward to it. Not even speaking a word of it or about it. You don't make any comments like you normally would.

You set up some sand bags, some hanging and others on the floor. You knew for a fact that you would need to be precise with your aim for this operation. In all honesty, you were very nervous on the inside but your never showed it on the outside. You never liked talking about your past to anyone, and for good reason. Your file even kept most of your life and what family you were born in because of your past. Now, you've never done anything wrong, illegal, but the rest of your family sure did.

During your school years, you would hear people whispering about you and your family. It drove you mad, but you learned to block it out. Following you through life was anger issues. You would often lash out but not at people. Whenever you are down at the range or practicing your knife abilities, you would let your anger flare free. Sometimes in the ring but not enough to say so. God help whoever is unfortunate enough to be your punching bag whenever that does happen.

On this particular morning, you had a lot of anger built up. The poor sand bags got destroyed as you slashed and stabbed. Sweat ran down your face, lips slightly parted as you panted. One slash after another, one stab after another. With each stab and slash, you were cutting deeper.

"What's got you pissed off?"

You stopped dead in your tracks and whipped around to see Cav leaning on the doorframe. She had a smile on her face with her arms crossed.

"I would have thought you would have know by now. I tend to get aggressive and angry with my training, especially by myself." You panted.

"Oh, I've noticed. I've just never seen you get this worked up. Something on your mind?"

You didn't want to tell her the true reason why you were so worked up. So, you decided to tell her a small part of it. "My throwing aim is going to be important. I don't want to mess up, especially on an operation like this."

Cav stared at you, looking for anything that would give away more than what you were leading on. Her eye's then landed on your knife. It wasn't a combat knife than what you normally use.

"New knife?" Cav asked.

Your eyes darted to the knife in your hands. It looks like a standard model of a combat knife. The only huge difference was the flowers and vines that's been engraved onto the blade itself as a design, leading all the way up to the handle.

"No." You spoke quietly. "I've always had this knife. It was given to me." You started to feel uncomfortable. This could lead down the path of your story, something that you aren't interested in doing.

"Do you plan on using this one particular knife for this operation?" Cav asked, walking next to you.

"Yes? Is that a problem?" You asked with a slight head tilt.

"Not at all." Cav said, "Feel up for explaining why?" You had a strong feeling that this would happen. The can of wroms were starting to get peeled open, ever so slowly. You knew this game.

"Not particularly, no." You said turning your back to Cav. You cleaned up the mess and placed fresh sand bags into new spots. You felt Cav's eyes on you the entire time. She was still trying to find out what more you hid. To be honest, you expected that. Cav wasn't given your full file, she was given your heavily Redacted file. Again, your life story was cut from that file.

You did your knife throwing first, mostly hitting the center of the red circle. This did frustrate you slightly. You did have a few more days to get damn near perfect hits every time. You took out your knife and started to stab and slash. Cav watched the way you moved swiftly between targets and how quick you were to kill. She observed you and quickly realized that this operation ment more to you than what you let on.

Before you could slash at the last hanging bag, Cav's hand gripped your wrist. You flicked your eyes to be met with her intense stare.

"What is-"

"What's the real reason you are taking the knife?" Cav interrupted.

"I already told you why."

"No you didn't." Cav said flat out. "I've been watching you. You've been trying way more harder than ever. I've never seen you act this way before. This clearly means more to you than what you let on."

Your right eye slightly twitched. A subtle hint that didn't go unnoticed by Cav. She then gave you a look and you knew that she knew that you were hiding something. You sighed in defeat. There is nothing that you can hide forever from Caveira. Rainbow's scariest operator.

"I hate talking about this." You shook your head. "This wasn't in the file you were given and for good reason. My father... My father was a Crime Lord and from a young age I was showed the horrible things of life."

Cav let go of your wrist and held your hand gently as you told your story. "I have mad respect for my father but I never had the same desire to do his job. It was quite the opposite and he didn't stop me." You lifted up your hand with the knife tightly in your grip. "This was my father's knife. He was murdered when I was in my early teens and he gifted me his knife. I've kept this ever since."

"Why hide this part of your life in your file?" Cav asked.

"Why?" You scoffed. "The amount of whispering behind my back at school and the bullying I endured is what made me decided that." You took a few deep breaths. You were getting worked up and you knew you would end up lashing out. "This operation we are about to do is connected to my father and his work and I want them to know that I'm the one they need to worry about. That I may be his daughter and that I haven't forgotten."

You gripped the knife harder. "Besides," You spoke softy. "My father taught me how to use a knife. He taught me the skills I know and if it wasn't for his teachings, I wouldn't be here today."

You looked Cav right in the eyes, never looking away. What you saw was a look of sympathy. Cav was a trouble child as well and completely understood you. Maybe not to that level, but she understood. "Well then," Cav said with a smile and hand on your shoulder. "Let's get trained shall we?"

"Together?"

Cav nodded. "Yeah, together. Believe me, I understand to a fair decent extent of what you went through. But most importantly, the motivate behind it. You respected your father, he was murdered and you get the opportunity to finally put yourself to rest. Leave it all behind. Correct?"

You couldn't help but laugh a little. "I hate that you can read people."

"You, my dear, were very hard to read. Until now that is. I do appreciate you opening up. It's what makes us working as a team stronger."

You tilted your head slightly. You knew that Cav would watch people like hawks. However, to hear that she couldn't read you for the longest time, it made part of you happy. You were unable to be read by Taina Pereira, one of Rainbow's most terrifying operator's. One of the best interrogators. For someone who was a master interrogator, you expected to get read like a book. So, yeah, your pride did swell.

"Don't expect me to let that go. Not even the scary Taina "Caveira" Pereira could read me." You said playfully.

Cav scoffed. "Spread anything about this, and I will make sure your training will be hell."

It was a playful threat that did have some serious consequences. Without saying a word, you motioned that your lips are sealed. With that now established, Cav had a smile smile on her lips.

"Well, let's finish this training set up you've got here and then head to breakfast. After that, we'll continue training, my way."

"Your way?" You questioned.

"Yep. My way."

"Will it be challenging?"

"Depends on how confident you are at going against me." Cav said with smirk.

Now that was a challenge that you wouldn't dare refuse.

"You're on Pereira."

With that, the pair of you finished off the last remaining sand bags with Cav giving you tips and pointers. At breakfast there was a part of you that felt alive, excited. This side of you has been so dull, dead, but Cav ignited the sparks. As you silently ate your meal, a grin on your face spread as thoughts of training entertained your mind.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW Emotional Abuse? Familial problems, general trauma, addiction, drugging, sa/hospitalization, very depressing

Hello I think I’m asking for advice mainly on how to escape my situation or even just support/resources. I currently live with my older sister who hasn’t ever really been close to me but instead has been more of a negative person in my life. I haven’t been able to stop crying rethinking the situation I’m in since it feels emotionally paralyzing.

My parents sort of forced her to take care of me at a young age so as a result she naturally hates me and is stuck with me as I am with her. After a long bout of traumas/fights etc from leaving our abusive household together we sort of were bonding since we understood each others pain and we kind of had to, our checks together were the only things stopping us from being homeless but still are which is why I’m really stressed out.

After we moved in together to our first apartment however my older brother had also been having issues at our parents so I let him come over whenever he felt like. He was doing meth and didn’t let me know but instead lied and said he was clean, eventually meth got into my system after he stayed for 2 days possibly when he let me try a cigarette for the first time or I’m not sure if he laced my weed but I ended up in the hospital for two weeks unaware of instead thinking I had finally broke my brain until I saw my hospital discharge papers. I was in psychosis for almost 2 years on and off going back into hospitals mainly because I became so suicidal I couldn’t take it anymore, I hardly remember the past 3 years of my life either because I didn’t create memories I loved or it was just so stressful my mind blocked it out.

What really halted my recovery was my sister letting my brother come back around after I came out of the hospital because she felt bad for him. She’d put up paintings he’d make while on meth on the kitchen wall and when I’d cry and ask her to take them down she’d basically make me feel guilty for feeling the way I did. This only made me worse and it’s taken 3 years for me to get back to a place mentally where I feel safe but the last time she let him over here was still a month ago, I just finally couldn’t take it anymore and told him to leave and not come back. She let him back in the next morning though but kicked him out when he inconvenienced her instead.

Earlier this year I tried going to a program called Job Corps because it was a free ticket out of the state but straight to a gov facility, at least they’d give me training for a trade certification and some needed skills, mainly a new environment. However my sister didn’t like the idea when I mentioned moving out or leaving for the year so now I’m just washing dishes for 14 an hour instead of studying like I wanted and need to. I try not to throw the term abuse around but it just feels emotionally damaging how i haveto live in her shadow all the time.

I’m scared of moving out not because of having to support myself but her being left with a financial mess, she also had told me that leaving would make things harder for her and just be “running away”. I’m in my early 20s and she’s 10 years older yet my job is what’s keeping us from being homeless I mention it just cause it’s weird she went to vacation a few days ago even though we’re broke and I give her most of my money when I get l paid, and even then she’ll get mad if I buy something she thinks I shouldn’t have.

I just constantly feel alone like I’ve never heard of someone being in this sort of situation so I’ve never heard of anyone being able to leave it behind either, I guess I’m mainly asking for hope after letting this all out I don’t really have any left but I’m trying, I appreciate it.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. Please know that you're not alone in experiencing this, and I have answered a few other asks from people in similar situations as well.

It's important to remember that while your sister may have some resentment over having to take care of you growing up, that doesn't explain or justify becoming abusive to you. It sounds like you have a complicated dynamic between your siblings. It seems that your sister feels pity for your brother and doesn't understand why he makes you uncomfortable, especially considering your hospital visit and suicidal thoughts.

It's not up to your sister to determine where you will work - you are your own self. It sounds like she is emotionally abusive and doesn't respect your autonomy, especially if it means moving out. It also sounds like she may be financially abusive as well considering that you give her most of your money when you get paid, and controls how you spend your money. Part of why your sister may be discouraging you from leaving is because it would mean that she can no longer take advantage of you.

Leaving this kind of situation is not simple or easy, but there are a few suggestions. While this resource is in reference to domestic violence cases, these tips on leaving an abusive situation can still apply. Here is a masterlist of international crisis lines you can contact, which may be able to help you get in touch with someone who can assist you in this process.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[magdasabs]

On Tuesday evening, she struck with a dream goal - her first in the national team. But the road until Johanna Rytting Kaneryd, 25, is now ready for her first championship has not been entirely easy. 

At the age of 15, she moved away from home, has been badly injured and ended up outside. But football has always been the biggest.

- Many people are shocked when I say that I do not have a high school education, says Rytting Kaneryd, who also talks about the early partying, that her relationship is not a coincidence and the dream of moving abroad.

When Johanna Rytting Kaneryd did not get a place in Peter Gerhardsson's squad for the Olympics last summer, her disappointment was enormous. 

She was one of the players who "was on the edge", but was left out. 

Despite that, she felt comfortable when confederation captain Peter Gerhardsson was to present the EC squad at the beginning of June. 

- This time I felt safe and secure in myself what I had performed on the football field recently. I couldn't have done anything differently. 

- If I hadn't been selected, it would have been like that, but then I've done everything in my power, the last selection I didn't feel the same. 

Johanna Rytting Kaneryd was selected for this summer's EC, her first championship with the A national team. 

The way there, it's like no other player's.

Of course, it started as it often does, Rytting Kaneryd and her twin brother were trained by father Dan at home in small Kolsva in the municipality of Köping. 

But it was during an elite camp in Halmstad a number of years later that the unexpected happened, when 14-year-old Johanna Rytting Kaneryd caught the eye and was recruited by the then big club Tyresö, filled with star players. 

At the age of 15, she moved from home to Stockholm. 

- I remember entering the dressing room and seeing Marta, Caroline Seger and all the other big stars in Tyresö. I didn't really understand that I would be there playing with them. 

- It was tough not having someone who wasn't quite my age. I was very lonely, but I could not refuse such an offer. It was truly a dream. 

"I was afraid of losing myself"

Johanna Rytting Kaneryd smiles when she thinks back to the first time Tyresö. 

- It was a really big step. I remember that I hardly wanted to go to the practices because I didn't want to lose myself. It was mixed feelings, in a way really cool but at the same time very tough.

But it wasn't just the football environment that was new, in Stockholm Johanna Rytting Kaneryd moved in with a family she had never met before. She finished the ninth grade and started high school in her new hometown. 

- It was extremely tough to move away from home so young. Luckily I had a family that took care of me, they became like a second family. There were children in that family and they became like my siblings. 

- I think it was a key for me to be able to cope with it, and that I got into it so quickly. But it was obviously very scary to go from having the security of my family, who I am super close to, to something new and unknown. I remember crying several times when I was going to bed.

- In many ways, it was a completely new world to move from small Kolsva to a big city. I was alone and forced to grow up fast. 

When we meet for the interview, it is at BK Häcken's training facility at Hisingen in Gothenburg, Johanna Rytting Kaneryd has a serious bruise under one eye. She was elbowed in the face during a match a few days earlier. 

But in terms of damage, that bluebell is no worse than a small mosquito bite. 

At the age of 25, Johanna Rytting Kaneryd has pulled the cruciate ligament twice, the first time as a 16-year-old while in Tyresö. 

- It was a very difficult period. In retrospect, I wish I had understood that it is okay to ask for help. But I wasn't really safe in the group and so much younger than everyone else, I don't want to disturb or be in the way. 

The rescue was Annica Näsmark, then a physiotherapist in Tyresö, now in the national team. 

- Without her, I would never have made it through. She has something special, you can't put your finger on it. 

Rytting Kaneryd was back on the football field already after eight months, but had ended up far from the fine room with the big stars in Tyresö. 

- I wasn't even in the squad on Tyresö's website. 

After that, Älta IF in division two became the next club for Rytting Kaneryd. 

- I went from having played with world stars to not just going down a notch, but several. In a way, it was nice to shine a little again and feel that I was included. But in another way it was also a fear, thoughts swirled in his head like; "do people even know who I am anymore?" "Do people know that I actually play?".

But in 2016, the door to the women's league was opened again when Djurgården signed her. 

There, Johanna Rytting found Kaneryd back and developed so much that a new big club signed her - Rosengård. 

It was just a mistake. 

At the last training session with Djurgården, the day before the move to Malmö, Johanna Rytting Kaneryd pulled her cruciate ligament again. 

- I obviously couldn't have had a worse start in a new club, I started with a long-term injury. 

Once back, Rytting Kaneryd had difficulty getting a place in Rosengård, in December 2020 she was bought off by Kopparbergs Göteborg. 

However, she didn't have time to join before the chaos broke out, first the club was shut down but after many intensive tours, Kopparbergs Göteborg became part of Häcken's business and also changed its name.

- It was a very special situation and I received no information at all, the only little I heard was what my teammates told me. 

Johanna Rytting Kaneryd looks out over the training facility and smiles. 

- But it turned out well in the end. It's top class in Häcken, I don't even think that many clubs out in Europe have it this good. 

The move to the current club also meant other things. 

- I took a pay cut. But I wanted to prioritize getting playing time and getting back to the national team, and I have succeeded in that goal. That I'm worse off financially, that's something you have to accept. But it's clear that it doesn't feel quite optimal because I might be in better shape than ever - but earn less. 

But the mildly tortuous road there from moving away from home as a 15-year-old, suffering severe injuries and ending up in the freezer to now being ready for her championship has given her perspective. 

- The way I've gotten through it has made me damn strong. And there was never ever a doubt that I would come back from the injuries. I don't know if it's because I moved away from home early, left my family and bet everything on football. But this is what I wanted to do. 

- Football is the only thing I know and am good at. 

"I haven't finished high school"

The early elite investment in football caused the school to suffer. After completing ninth grade in Stockholm, Johanna Rytting Kaneryd started high school - that's how it went. 

- I had seven F's, not because I was that bad, but I had a lot of abscences. And then I dropped out of school. Many people are shocked when I tell them that I do not have a high school education. But I chose to prioritize football and invest in it instead of school. I usually say that I will make up for it and study at komvux, but I have never found the right opportunity. 

- The only thing I want to do now is play football, and then it has felt a bit unnecessary to study something that I don't even know if I want to work with. I'll take it then. 

The move away from home as a 15-year-old and the choice to spend all my time on football also meant something else.

- I must have missed things that my friends from home did, missed a lot of parties and other fun. But I have never doubted that I have made the right choice. 

- And I managed to try those things at an early age, drinking alcohol and all that. 

Johanna Rytting Kaneryd laughs. 

- In Kolsva and other small towns it is probably common to do it a little earlier. 

As often as she returns to her love of football, Johanna Rytting Kaneryd mentions the support from her family. 

- I talk to dad every day, he calls from the car at four when he finishes work. And then we talk for an hour. There will be a lot of football, it is both his and my biggest interest. He watches all my matches and can come up with analyzes on different situations. Dad is my very own analyst. 

"No coincidence that we are together"

And then boyfriend Anton Salétros, also a soccer player, right now in Norwegian Sarpsborg.

- I don't think it's a coincidence that I got together with a football player. We talk a lot about football, I need to talk both when things have gone well and when things have gone bad. I don't know if I could have coped with having a boyfriend who is not interested in football.

- I am his biggest supporter and he is my biggest supporter. 

Then there is one more thing the couple is discussing right now. 

- Anton is in the same position as me now with an expiring contract. And we argue with each other about what is the next step for both of us. 

Because there is no doubt that Johanna Rytting Kaneryd is looking towards Europe. 

- I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to it, I feel ready to take the next step in my career. I have always dreamed of playing in a top club in Europe. If I can reach that dream already now, I want to take that chance. 

And it is a league that attracts extra. 

- The English one is most attractive. But it is clear that there are other leagues that are growing and exciting too, Spain and Italy for example. 

- But it is to England that I want most. 

Have you received any offers?

- Yes, a few absolutely. 

When the European Championships in England begin next week, Johanna Rytting Kaneryd has a sense of anticipation.

- It's my first championship and just getting to experience it feels fun. But it's clear that I hope to get some playing time so that I can show what I'm about. 

- I feel in better shape than ever. 

By the way, if Johanna Rytting Kaneryd felt decently calm when Peter Gerhardsson was to present the European Championship squad at the beginning of June, she didn't mind what her boyfriend Anton did. 

Several days before the selection, he had put a note in the drawer in the bedside table by her bed. 

- When I was selected, he called and told me to look in the box. There was a note that said "congratulations on the EC place". 

Last Tuesday evening, when Sweden faced Brazil in the EC general repet at the Friends arena, Johanna Rytting Kaneryd made her twelfth A international match. 

She had to jump in with barely half an hour left in the match.

After 65 seconds on the pitch, the 25-year-old scored her first national team goal.

[sisterkosho]

General Headcanons | Coratella

Credits: Header art by @hiikkups on Instagram!

Notes: So, by now y’all have probably seen me post a bit about my La Squadra OC, Coratella. However, I haven’t really gone into much detail about her here on Tumblr yet, so I decided to write a small headcanon post in order to give a bit more info while I work on her bio page since that will… probably take awhile. Some things here are obviously subject to change as her character develops, but for now, this is just a way for y’all to get to know her better. Also for the sake of my sanity, most of these HCs are pre-Vento Aureo. If you have any questions about her that aren’t talked about here, feel free to leave a comment or send me an ask! Enjoy!

Coratella first joined La Squadra at the age of 17 after her parents gave her up to Passione in an attempt to get out of debt.

They had been caught up in some rather shady business, and when it became clear that they had no intention of paying what was owed, the organization sent a hitman to eliminate them.

Offering up their daughter, who had recently manifested a deadly Stand ability, was their final desperate attempt to get Passione off their backs. And… it worked. Almost.

See, the hitman in question was none other than Risotto Nero, who had just recently formed his own team within the organization. A team that, at the time, had very few members and got very little respect or recognition. As such, a powerful Stand user with the abilities his targets claimed their daughter had would be incredibly beneficial to him.

So, he agreed to take the girl as one of his own, and train her to become a proper assassin. Though this didn’t stop him from going through with his mission and taking out her parents anyway, believing them to be some of the worst kind of people.

Though perhaps this was for the best, as La Squadra quickly became more of a family to her than any of her actual relatives ever were.

She had been a bit aggressive about the situation at first, but she came to respect Risotto and looked up to him greatly.

Her first mission for the team was with Illuso, as Risotto felt that their stands would work well together.

Of course, Illuso wasn’t too thrilled with the idea of having to “babysit the newbie”, but ultimately agreed to accompany her if not just for the opportunity to show off and prove his superiority.

Coratella found his personality to be absolutely insufferable, which obviously led to bickering early on. But she quickly realized that the best way to get him to cooperate was simply to just suck up to him for the sake of the mission.

It took a lot of sweet talking and stroking his ego, but she eventually managed to get through to him. After which, the mission ended up going by without a hitch.

Because of this, the two found themselves getting paired with each other for missions more frequently, as Risotto’s assumption about them working well together had been correct despite how often they bickered.

The more time she spent with him however, the more Coratella began to realize that there was more to Illuso than what she had originally thought. He was still as egotistical as ever, but it started becoming obvious that this was more of a front to cover up his own insecurities than anything else. Deep down, he was actually an incredibly emotional man who was just hiding beneath a smug, arrogant facade so as never to appear weak.

After coming to this realization, Coratella found herself becoming a bit more protective over him in a way, and the two quickly became inseparable.

With how close they ended up being, their relationship eventually evolved into something a bit more… flirty, to say the least. And after a long period of denial and other failed relationships, the rest was history.

They still find themselves frequently bickering and poking fun at each other, but Coratella finds it difficult to stay mad at him for long, if at all.

When it comes down to it, she’s grown to love him more than anything in the world, and it’s obvious to anyone that meets them.

Her relationship with Illuso is far more intimate than with the rest of the team, however, she still cares about each and every one of them just as much.

She views them all like her own family, and wouldn’t hesitate to put her life on the line for them if the time ever came.

Coratella and Formaggio have a sort of… chaotic sibling dynamic, to put it simply.

He was by far the most welcoming member of the team when she first joined, and the two of them became fast friends.

This was mainly due to the fact that they shared a similar sense of humor, much to the dismay of everyone around them.

They’re quite the dubious little creatures.

They’re known to cause a bit of chaos around the base from time to time, occasionally even dragging others (mostly Illuso) into their shenanigans. Though this is always in good fun.

In short, it’s safe to say that the two of them pretty much share a brain cell. Though whether or not this is a good thing will vary depending on who you ask. Illuso would most certainly say no.

Though it tends to go both ways, as Illuso can be quite the handful himself.

Coratella has always had a lot of respect for Prosciutto given that he had a big hand in training her, and often goes to him for advice if she has a problem or just needs an opinion on something.

This is mainly because she knows that she can trust him to give an honest answer, without sugarcoating anything just to spare her feelings.

There are times where he may be too harsh, but his advice ends up being beneficial to her in the long run more often than not.

She appreciates this greatly, and tends to take what he says to heart most of the time.

Though she cares deeply for each member of La Squadra, that isn’t to say that they don’t drive her up the wall sometimes.

She has a journal where she writes down her complaints from time to time, though it’s hardly ever regarding anything that’s actually serious.

Formaggio once found said journal and mistook it for her diary, dramatically reading it out to the rest of the squad while she was out on a mission.

Needless to say, this ended in chaos once she returned to the base.

She’s a bit particular about smells, having a preference for citrusy scents such as orange or lemon. This is often the smell of the perfume she wears.

She has, on multiple occasions, stolen Illuso’s shampoo.

She’s capable of cooking basic meals, but do not trust her to make anything too complex. She will burn the kitchen down.