#I guess I just think there’s something funny about the two of them having their relationship be one-upped by a dinosaur and a robot

[karikitdemonrp]

Kari sniffled, looking into her papa's eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks as she just sniffled and listened. She looked down for a moment, processing what the hero said and gave a nod while her eyes narrowed a bit in thought. "I... Think I get it." She muttered, voice still slightly trembling as she spoke. She looked back at the projection and sighed. The child slowly backed away from Hawks and went back to look at the journals again, one last time.

There she read a few more journals from her mother. A few from when she was pregnant with her siblings.

"Today is September 29th, I gave birth to my little boy Kitearo a few days ago. It's been exhausting but he's worth it. Lynx has been a huge help in taking care of our son. I looked into Kite's future and I saw he was going to have a lot of siblings. Not my first choice honestly. If you asked me five years ago I would have said two or three kids would be enough, not seven. But it feels right at the same time. While I saw his whole life unravel I couldn't help but feel helpless... But a part of me knows it can't be messed with, even though I want to save my son from an early grave. I'll have to wait until all my kids are born to get the full picture."

Kari frowned, figuring out pretty quick that her mother knew the whole time, or at least had an understanding.

"It's Febuary 23rd. Flo and Fino are a few days old now. I got a bit more of the picture since seeing Kitearo's future. They meet a similar fate. It hurts, but seeing them work hard to protect their youngest sister, a little girl with white hair, something isn't adding up. I know I can't stop it but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt a whole lot."

"It's been a rough few weeks, Shade has been a bit of a handful. Always curious but always quiet which is a bit unnerving. Sure she cries and makes noises but she's more quiet than not. The doctor says she has nothing wrong with her but I still worry. I was able to see into her future. Lynx has his work cut out for him that's for sure. So far I know all my kids and my husband die on the same day, doing the same thing. I can't say for sure where I am but I can make a few guesses. Again that little girl with white hair makes a big appearance. I'll name her Kari. Kari Kana Lee Himura, long name but it looks like it suits her. When she's born I'll hopefully get all the answers and try to write them down."

"Another pair of twins. I'm not super surprised, Lynx had twin younger brothers after all so I think that runs in the family. That and I saw them while looking into their siblings' futures. These two look mirrored, it's kinda cute. I've named them Boom and Beats cuz the symbols on their cheeks are cute music notes. They are the loudest that's for sure, it's funny. I've had so many kids and all of them are so different even though they're under the same roof and have me and Lynx as their parents. I know why they look so different and why their quirks are different, it's a side effect of my quirk after all. But their behaviors and personalities aren't tied to it, I don't think. It's so fascinating to watch them grow and develop... I know I probably only have a few more years to live. I've concluded I die in child birth when giving birth to Kari. I know I'll be leaving behind my family and my friends... But I noted that my nephew is the one responsible for the deaths of everyone, under the control of my sister given his pupils... Something isn't adding up but I'm guessing Kari develops my quirk. If that's the case then she needs to exist. It strengthens our quirk and hopefully she'll be able to help others like I did, in someway. Though that's her choice and I don't want to force it onto her. I'm glad dad talked me into writing that one entry about my quirk, I hope she can read it one day so she can meet me... Well, a snap shot of me. It won't be the same I know but it's better than nothing. I just hope she doesn't hate me or get mad. It's kind of a selfish reason but there's so much going on... I just hope she understands."

Kari sniffled, rubbing her eyes. "I... I don't hate you mom." She whispered after a few moments of silence, hugging herself. "I just wish I knew you." The child gulped and moved to look back at the journal about All of the Above and began taking notes. "But yea, I'm glad grampa talked you into writing about your quirk too... It's gonna help me a lot." She muttered then looked at Hawks. "You think we can go somewhere I can train? I... I wanna try doing this thing mom talks about. I'm not sure if I can get back into that weird mind space thing but... But if I can maybe you can meet my siblings, well a snap shot of them... This is kinda confusing." Kari puffed out her cheeks then went back to writing. "But we don't have to do it today if we can't."

Hawks didn’t speak at first. He just let Kari cry. He didn’t try to hush her or pull her away. He dropped down to one knee so she could lean into him easier, wrapping his arms around her small frame like he could shield her from every painful word she had just read. His wings even curled in slightly, a quiet gesture of shelter.

He held her gently as the sobs came out in waves—her pain wasn’t small, and it didn’t deserve to be treated like it was.

After a long moment, his voice finally came—soft, steady, low enough it didn’t try to overpower her crying but just… sat with it.

“I know, kiddo. I know it hurts. It’s not fair. None of this is. You didn’t get a choice in any of it.”

He tightened the hug slightly, one hand cradling the back of her head.

“But I need you to hear me when I say this next part, okay?” He pulled back just enough to look her in the eyes, his own golden ones steady and full of something more than just compassion—it was conviction. “She didn’t die because of you. That’s not how this works. She died for you. And that’s something only someone who loves their kid more than anything in the world would do.”

His thumbs gently wiped her tears.

“Your mom knew the risks. She was a top pro. She wasn’t someone who walked into things blind. She fought to bring you into this world anyway, Kari. That means she wanted you here. She made a choice—and that choice was you.”

[alllgator-blood]

WAIT A DAMN MINUTE !!

It's been quite I while since I bullied you with my art friend,so I think it's time you can escape from me im too slow:)

I like when people call my oc spooder shamura ,they're both sillies, live ur shamura they're the silliest:)

Don't mind how crappy the drawing is :(

AHHHHHHHH SPOODER SPOTTED- tbh I am still haunted by forever ago when I called them "shamura" on an ask you sent, so I'm just glad it was more funny than a cardinal sin.

This is a rare sighting of shamura when they're NOT silly but that changes pretty quick when a small, cute creature is introduced, and the protective big sibling instinct takes over. Also I would never draw the bishops being actually mean to anyone in an ask even if they're evil demon creatures, I would feel too bad :')

I sometimes think about that comic you said you were working on last year with spooder + my shamura, but I know projects don't always get finished (sweeps my 93843243 sketched, unfinished comics/animations under the rug and coughs) so I didn't want to make you feel obligated to finish it! It was cool seeing these two in my inbox after all this time cause I was like HEY! I REMEMBER THEM! Comics are really hard and there's a reason most of em aren't generally colored + background'ed and most comic artists will straight up beg you to use shortcuts instead of doing everything the hard way....ME INCLUDED. So like I said don't sweat it if it stays as a WIP, just wanted to mention that I still remember that project!

....also I have no idea what that smoothie is. It's probably full of dark evil energy and might imbue you with demonic powers if drank. IIRC the premise of your comic was spooder was going to shamura for a specific purpose, like to ask them a question or try to gain something, so I guess now they're leaving with some kind of eldritch magic???

[teaspacebar]

RIN ITOSHI ˖⁺‧₊˚✦

childhood friends to lovers. hahaha rin is whipped and he doesn't even know it. ~.9k

↩ last

rin never contacts you first.

you’re already messaging him by the time he wakes up at 5am to go for his morning run.

it’s like you think he’s your diary or something.

what you had for breakfast. how your classes went. about a customer at work that was so stupid it sent you spiraling. a new movie that just got announced with your favorite actor.

he replies most of the time — about the stuff that interests him. you’re not really looking for a response anyways. you’ll ask him a question if you wanted his opinion on it.

it used to bother him. in the end, your persistence was something that even he couldn’t fight off and eventually he just let you do it (with some light bullying of course).

but you haven’t texted him in over 24 hours.

which wouldn’t necessarily be a cause for concern (not that rin had any of course), but normally you can’t shut up. or you’ll tell him that you’re busy and will text when you’re free.

but there’s been nothing. not a peep.

so he messaged you. just a simple, hey.

and then another. are you dead, or something?

nothing.

the last one he sent was a few minutes before practice. if this is a joke, it’s not funny.

and rin is itching in his skin. he’s so out of it that isagi is running fucking circles around him. which just pisses him off more.

he has no idea what you’re doing. where you are. did you tell him about a trip that he forgot about? he’s mulling it over and over in his brain until his teeth are grinding so hard that he gives himself a headache.

“you seem off today,” isagi comments as he takes a swig from his water bottle.

“fuck off,” rin snarls, shoving his training clothes into his bag.

bachira comes up between them, grin far too big to be sincere, “now what’s gotten you all riled up? woke up on the wrong side of the bed?”

he’s about to bite the little creature’s head off, when his phone lets out a little ding! he all but scrambles for it, seeing your name pop up in his notifications. his head clears; he can breathe. you’re fine. you sent a little waving gif to him.

he’s gonna kill you.

without thinking, he grabs his bag and flings it over his shoulder, putting his phone to his ear after hitting the call button. he storms out of the locker room, ignoring the shouts of his teammates, when you answer.

“oh! rin, hi,” you sound surprised.

he cuts you off before you can start blabbing, “what happened?”

“what do you mean?”

“you go from texting every five minutes to disappearing off the face of the planet without telling anyone?” his blood is boiling. the relief he felt earlier is buried by anger and frustration. he's keeping his tone level, but his fingernails are biting into his palm with how hard he's clenching his fist.

“rin, my phone broke while i was at a friends." your voice is gentle, like you've caught him in his internal struggle. "i didn't bring my laptop with me either. i just got a new phone today on my way back home."

he's silent, tightness in his throat.

"i didn't mean to worry you."

"you didn't," he snaps.

you hum, "okay." there's rustling on your end, giving him space. "i missed you. you have practice today, yeah?" the sentiment is run through by your question, like it's not a big deal. rin doesn't have the wherewithal to think on it.

"just finished."

"that's good!" you go into talking to him about your day trip, and he listens on his drive home.

he's throwing his training clothes into the wash by the time you've settled down for the night. you've swapped to video call, your face barely visible as you snuggle underneath your comforter.

"rin?"

"hm?"

"i really am sorry that i worried you. i didn't think it was a big deal for you, i guess. thought it was more of a me thing."

he knows what you're referring to. the friendship - if rin could even call it that - was fresh then. a year, at most. no voice channel, no video calls. just the two of you messaging each other (mostly on the horror ARG server you two met on, sometimes directly). the two of you hadn't even shared names yet. he shut down, after sae came home - after their fight. he didn't respond to your messages for weeks. he showed back up quieter, hardened.

you chewed him out. thought that he could've been dead, or worse. a typical reaction for a lonely teenager to have. you weren't really angry at him, back then. you were scared. and yet you stuck by him long enough to be okay with not hearing from him for the entirety of blue lock. even when he was being a dick.

he sighs, "it's fine. just, be careful, alright? you'd lose your head if it wasn't attached to you."

you chuckle into your pillow, "yeah, probably. that's what i have you for, though."

"go to sleep. i have shit to do."

a small squeak leaves your lips as you yawn, "yeah, yeah, go be the best soccer player, or whatever."

"text me when you wake up."

he's never asked you that before.

he wakes up the next day with a exactly what he asked for.

didn't know you were a stage-five clinger. have a good day!!

yeah, he's gonna kill you.

[starryjkoo]

so can we talk about jikook now 😭

Ask #2

the amount of crash outs happening these past few days lol https://x.com/jikookreports/status/1937517826106921229

lmao, where to even start oh my god 😭 sorry this is going to be all over the place

they just spent 18 months together but the first thing they wanted to do post-military was travel together (and feed swans)? so not only are they not sick of each other after all that, they actually wanted to spend more time together? All of the other members have been doing solo activities, traveling solo, meeting up with their other friends, but somehow jikook, the only two members who were never separated, are the ones traveling together? For over a week? 😭 and they’re being all cute, giggly, and happy?

i mean, it’s not surprising because it’s jikook, but it’s still one of those times where they randomly do something crazy that not even jikookers were anticipating. and they really, actually don’t get sick of each other, which is also crazy to me. you would have to get along with someone so well to be able to spend that much time with them and in all those different situations too. we again already knew that about jikook, but every time i’m reminded it still surprises me for some reason. it’s why the story of JK going to jimin’s room for hours to hang out has always been one of my favorites. being so close with someone that you literally seek them out just because you find comfort in their presence is just so…

if it really is ays i’m going to go even more crazy because they genuinely love that show so much and that’s always made me so soft. they had so much fun making it, coming up with the title, the little catchphrase, giggling over their mishaps and hoping armys would find it funny. they really loved those trips. i think they also loved it because it was their thing that they created together, if that makes sense. i thought they were even a little protective of it in jeju lol. i just think it’s sweet how much they loved it, so if they really wanted to continue it first thing out of the military? like they mentioned having all these late night conversations about their future plans, so were they really in their talking about taking trips together again too? 😭 no clue if ays is actually what they’re doing or if it’s something else but i’m excited either way. I’m really just glad it looks like they’re taking it easy and having fun, no matter what they’re up to.

also that dance challenge video was peak jikook. everything about it gives me cute aggression. how can they have so much fun just recording a little dance challenge? what do you even focus on, there’s just so many cute little moments? jk down there on the ground and the silly camera angles and the humming and giggling. they’re just so cute and playful, and what exactly are they laughing about? the way they STILL just have so much fun doing whatever together? and seeing jimin dance again was like crack, he’s just amazing, i can’t wait to see him back on stage. i’m glad that he posted because there’s nothing better than getting confirmation straight from the source so yeah i guess those of us who were holding back can freely scream now lmao 😭

genuinely so curious what they’re up to and where all they’ve been but i guess we’ll find out eventually it’s just nice to know that they’re having fun. hopefully people will give them space and privacy. so curious if jimin will actually go to the dior show! also i would die if what they’re doing has anything to do with music. i kind of doubt it but that would be awesome. honestly it’s just nice to be reminded they’re free and out of there and we’re going to be getting any kind of content from them lol (solo or duo or ot7, even random social media updates).

but it’s a really cute way to close out their military service considering they traveled together right before they enlisted and that was partially the theme of the show. in sapporo it even felt heavy at times because it was clearly on their mind and on top of everything else they were using the trip as a way to make memories to look back on while they were in there (something they literally voiced). it really is full circle that the first thing they wanted to do was travel together again. that might be the format they feel comfortable sharing their military stories with us considering they can edit out anything that they’re not supposed to share. idk, there’s just so much to unpack, but we still really have no idea what’s up so 😭 it might not be anything like we’re expecting too, or it might not be content at all who knows.

and yeah we’re about to see the most insane crash outs 🥴 although i guess they’ve already started crashing out. i haven’t been online too much yet so i haven’t seen the scope of it but the link you sent + i know especially JJKs were really upset leading up to this already. i think other people have already articulated and called out how insane and entitled those sorts of fans are. it’s genuinely crazy to see them threaten to unstan because jkk are hanging out when they’ve always been like this. not sure what else jikook are going to have to do for these people to understand that they genuinely just enjoy being around each other. was enlisting together and talking about relying on each other not clear enough? JK calling ays the best trips of his life or talking about doing twelve more seasons not enough? it’s also kind of pathetic that they have to make everything about “fanservice” instead of just acknowledging that jikook are, i don’t know, friends? 🥴 they’d really shade the person they supposedly stan instead of just admitting jikook enjoy hanging out together. or do they really just see all their interactions as romantic?

they’re just constantly trying to gaslight themselves that jikook hate each other so they can feel better about their own feelings/ship. Or they're so narcissistic they can’t help but project their own feelings onto jikook and fully believe it’s reality. those sorts of fans just want to control them, live vicariously through them and their careers, and have no care or respect for them as individuals and human beings. and the fans crashing out about wanting music instead, it’s so stupid because they’re obviously going to be working on music and other solo projects soon (they could even be doing that right now). so it’s not about that, it’s just that THEY can’t stand jkk being close which is so pathetic. and no, i don’t have any issue with people just not being interested in certain content (some ppl straight up just don’t like non-music content in general and that’s fine), but that’s not the situation with these “fans”.

also those anti-jikook narratives are just so ridiculous and stupid and they look even crazier post military. jikook very clearly have autonomy to do whatever they want to do, just like all the other members are doing right now. they’re trying to come up with all these excuses for a possible ays season 2 instead of considering that jikook just enjoyed making it and wanted to do it again. or whatever they’re doing together is simply because it’s something they want to do. the company cant force any of them to do shit 😭 (which is funny because if tkkrs could they would absolutely make the company force tkk to do a subunit since they’re so obsessed with trying to demand it even though if tkk wanted to they just would). trust if this was a calculated move by the company then we’d be getting ot7 content or tkk content, not jkk when literally their solos hate each other the most, there already is jkk content, and when they’re the most disliked duo in the fandom (obviously they have a ton of fans, but no duo is actively disliked more than jkk either). literally saw some armys tkkrs actually whining about it being more likely that we get a jkk subunit before tkk as if that’s a normal response to seeing jkk hanging out together. this fandom man…

another thing is that jikook aren’t oblivious to the fact that there are a lot of people who don’t like seeing them together. but they clearly don't care 😭. i’m sure they know the situation with each others solos, and even shippers to an extent. the fact that their first activity out of the military is doing something together just shows how little regard they have for any fans that dislike or diminish their friendship and that they will continue to do whatever the hell they want. i just think that’s so cool? they stay unbothered and catering to no one but genuine fans who appreciate them for who they are and respect them doing whatever they want to do.

just kind of rambling now, but i also think it’s cool how they’re fine with their branding having this much overlap? because yeah jikook are being associated a lot with each other officially lately. that’s honestly just because they’re close and enjoy doing things together and i don’t think anything more to it than that. but basically everything post military has been jikook. their whole official press conference return, their return live, their photobooth pictures and first social media posts (has JK even posted anything other than JM yet? sorry if i’m forgetting 😭). jimin has posted jk several times now (still soft about him using still with you), and now their first official activity might be something together.

i really hope this isn’t taken the wrong way. obviously they are very serious about their solo careers which are wholly their own and have nothing to do with the other and i’m expecting them to go all in on that soon. not claiming at all they don’t want to be seen as individuals because they very much do and should be and i can’t wait for jjk2 and pjm3 and their solo concerts. they work so insanely hard on their solo carers and i know that they're both workaholics and probably already have a bunch of insane stuff planned. i hate when people try to associate everything they do with the other. but it’s cool that they also just… i don’t know, don’t mind it to this degree? are cool with this level of association? that it’s just kind of happening naturally because they’re just… genuinely close like that lol? despite the fact that so many people hate seeing them together, which is something i’m sure they know?

well, this is getting away from me a bit, just happy about jikook and happy all of bts are finally free, solo content coming (very likely jjk2 and tour and im sure jm will also hopefully do something 🙏), group album possibly as soon as march. it’s nice to have these things to gush about and look forward to especially with everything else going on in the world right now 🫠 seeing jimin dancing again was healing and jikook’s giggles were healing and them feeding swans is so patented jikook wholesome lol and also healing. and also they’ve both just seemed so incredibly happy in every piece of content post-military and that’s so nice to see? that dance challenge was really everything because it’s just nice to see them silly and playful and happy. jimin’s silliness in that video and then the way he clocked in for the last half? i know they’re both itching to get back on stage which has me so excited as a fan as well.

and yeah it’s nice that i can finally unleash lol because i didn’t want to get all sappy on it until there was some sort of confirmation, because they do make me really soft. just kind of amazing to have someone in life you love and connect with that much, whatever type of love, it’s just really warm and rare to find. it’s insane that some people are so nasty inside that they begrudge them that closeness because they’re selfish and insecure when they clearly provide so much support and happiness to each other. but anyways glad as always that jikook continue to do their thing, and i’m really excited for ch3.

[kalied0skull]

Guess who– Oh, woah.

uhm– who like, is that? Can you guess? No?

HAHA, good! because these are DISGUISES! and that means they're WORKING! >:D

now playing: Fight For Your Right — Beastie Boys ♪

★ ramble under the cut !

you gotta fight! (🎸!)

for your right! (🥁🎸!)

to paaaaaar-tay! 🕺

banger song, it was just what was stuck in my head this morning honestly.

AHHHH yes, yes yes, i know, you hate me, another au piece because my brain is still au rotted. it's exhausting, isn't it? HAHAHA

it's fine don't worry, i only have one more in the chamber (posting wise) and then I'll throw them to the side unless i get some real fun-crazy inspiration. until then, i just have a fun collection of doodles that I'll be dumping later along with the... two drawings I've now shown you :)

here's a close up of the minis before i actually start sinking teeth into their designs btw :

SO okay, for a little bit of context here, we're still just playing around with post-canon divergent ending jally. and in this lil ending, y'know, they're on the run, they have some fun, they go thrifting here and there when they need new clothes, as one does when poor and in desperate need of a-pair-of-something.

so out of the random bins and collections of clothes, they've found themselves some funny little... disguises. you gotta blend in with crowds when you're hiding from the cops. unfortunately to johnny and dallas though, they just find "disgusing themselves" as an excuse to try out some new aesthetics.

johnny realistically would probably rather be caught dead wearing a skirt. but that's canon johnny, I'm having FUN here, and in this au? yeah he doesn't give a shit about that "gender having clothes" opinion, he is ROCKINGGG. THAT SKIRT... until he inevitably gets called a slur and dallas has to beat someone's ass for doing it.

dallas on the other hand is just grabbing whatever and making something fun out of it. is it technically a "punk outfit"? depends on what you THINK punk is. I'd say he's pretty punk right now. he's feeling himself, he's feeling cool and he's flashing that gun around MMMMORE THAN HE SHOULD.

stars, i love these lil' dumbasses to bits, man. johnny is having fun, dallas is having fun, they're running from the cops, and they got cool clothes. ain't is something? :D

it's something to me at least !!!

alright, anyways, i got more shit to finish, SO .. . . runs away and starts cleaning up tags RAHHH

[anna-scribbles]

they should've been at the club(infertility treatment centers)

[oriondrawsstuff]

Confort food : I guess sushis or beef jerky. For the confort drink it's ice tea or lemon tea (hot tea with lemon juice and sugar)

Favorite type of silverware : forks ! I don't use knifes or spoons often. And we have silverwares with golden waves motifs, those are my favs !

Confort stuffed animal : I have too much plushies, I just cannot choose one- Tho I guess I can choose two of them... My Muffin plush (a character of Sir Fluff on ytb) and a Temmieeee (form Undertale).

Confort item : my bluetooth headphones, I use them to listen to music but also to protect my ears when there's a lot of noise or to avoid social interactions when I don't feel like it. And I even customised it with my Undertale stickers ! That's or my Book of Bill (Gravity falls), very handy when I make a panic attack to think about something else, Bill's jokes are funny and stuff.

Music preferences : I have no idea what my music tastes really are, it's very random so... I enjoy AJR a lot, sad musics are cool. I'm not a very rap person but I enjoy some from time to time I guess.

Headphones or earbuds : Headphones, earbuds hurt my ears and it's pretty inconfortable to wear-

Best time of the day : Probably around 22:00 (10PM), when I can draw and have inspirations to do creative stuff.

Comfort show : Gravity Falls. One day I was feeling really bad and I watched Weirmageddon part 3, and then I felt really much better until the end of the day !

Tags : idk I'm scared to bother ppl- :'D

Fuck it, tag game

Alright, so list the comfort things for you, or preferances when it comes to the thingies, and then tag some people (Or dont, Its ok) I mean I'll also answer them too ofc ^^

The thingies to answer

Comfort food: Favourite type of silverware: Comfort stuffed animal: Comfort Iteam: Music preferance: Headphones or Earbuds: Best time of day: Comfort show:

And my answers

Comfort food: Plain flour tortilla, or fruit snacks Favourite type of Silverware: I like small ones, like baby forks or baby spoons, or just small ones Comfort stuffie: CC - My stuffed penguin Comfort Iteam: Also CC Music preferance: Varies, rn, I like electronic and punk/metal/emo mostly Headphones or earbuds: Earbuds, Headphones hurt my ears Best time of day: Dusk and night Comfort show: Mlp, Gf, Amphibia, toh

Tags (nf): @magical-rizzler-but-poem @riverz-pawz @lemonteaadict @th3-r4t-48 @projectcolorsys @thatacefrog + anyone else!

[fisheito]

I started reading beastars so now HE's reading beastars .wait

THEY'RE reading beastars

[averlym]

miscellany (again),, tags in the last image by @pyrotechnicarus

[marmotsomsierost]

you have had your squishy food. you have some left in your bowl.

yes, that bowl.

no i am not giving you more squishy food. you bolted 3/4 of the squishy food and then ignored your kibble in favor of excavating dog food from under the couch and eating it despite knowing that it swells up in your stomach and then the combo of too much squishy food and dog kibble means you horked it all up downstairs.

sierra ate it in the .4 milliseconds before i could get there.

then she rolled in it. now she stinks of cat foodgurgitation and zelda keeps trying to chew on her.

no.

you're 19 years old, old man. long past old enough to know better.

[fierykitten2]

Falcon and Robert unintentionally end up sharing a hotel room or something with a double bed long before actually starting a relationship but before they can go to sleep in it Wake and Leaves claim it and try spooning and then Leaves tells Falcon and Robert that this (their relationship dynamic) is what they could have if they weren’t so stubborn and/or dense

[lieutenantselnia]

Besides numerous other drawing ideas I now already have 2 (maybe even 3?) self ships that I want to redraw this meme with😂

Please I need more time and motivation for art again😭

[quibbs126]

Well I haven’t made one of these in a while, but it seems like we’re back to it

*sigh* okay, so basically, here’s what’s going on with my life right now

So I finished up my current semester of college this week. I was on academic probation this semester due to my poor grades the semester before, and to fix this, I needed to: get my GPA up above a 2.0 once more, take a mandatory workshop during the semester, and have at least one meeting with my academic advisor throughout the semester. Once I did all that, or at least finished all the meetings, I would have my hold of my account removed and I could register for my next semester’s classes

But here’s the thing. I did the first two, I’ve gotten pretty good grades this semester, As and Bs in my classes (even if grades aren’t finalized yet, I highly doubt that it’ll change from that from when I saw them before finals). But I never met with my academic advisor throughout the entire semester. So I still have that hold on my account. And the semester’s over, so I don’t know what that means for me going forward

I tried looking for what would happen if I miss those meetings, and right now I’m not sure, but what I do know is “failure to meet the requirements of academic probation can result in suspension or dismissal from the university”. And so now I’m terrified that because I missed those meetings, I won’t be able to return next semester

But specifically what makes it so bad is that I had fully intended to come back next semester, I was not preparing for not being able to go back this semester. And worst of all, I told my parents that I had everything sorted out for next semester when they picked me up a couple days ago, I just had a hold on my registration because I hadn’t met with my advisor yet. Which isn’t untrue, but what I failed to mention to them is that I was supposed to do these meetings during the semester, not after, and that I was required to do them. So if I were to tell them the truth, they’d know I’d have lied to them

I know for a fact that the worst thing I do in their eyes is when I have a problem, but then I hide it from them and lie to them about it, saying everything’s fine when it isn’t, and only revealing the truth at the last second, meaning they have to scramble to try and get everything fixed. This is literally the main problem I had with them the last semester and two, and why my last couple days of summer felt horrible because I hadn’t applied for my loan this last semester yet and I had found out that day when they asked that the place I had been getting loans from was no longer doing them

It was supposed to be different this semester, I was supposed to not fuck it up. And yet I’m doing the same thing I did before, I haven’t learned my lesson at all. And when they find out, they won’t let me go back, I’m sure of it. They didn’t really want me going back to college this semester either, because of all that had happened prior, so this new wrench in everything might just be what makes them fully say I’m not going back

And by the way, not a lot of this is hyperbole, at least not that last paragraph. A number of these things they did say to me. They’ve said verbatim that the problem is that I lie and hide things, and that I do it over and over again. I’m not just making stuff up, I know it’s what they’d say because they have before

I want to go back, I like it there. My best friend goes there, and quite frankly, I feel like I need her in my life more than anyone else. And I may not talk to a lot of people, at least not as much as I should, but I enjoy being around other people and at least getting the chance to talk to them. I like taking walks around campus, I like being able to go to the store and buy whatever I want whenever I want. I like being a person here and not stuck in my room, stuck with the same three people and basically only doing things when I’m told I have to. I just can’t take online school, I go mad now staying 4 months here in the summer

And what makes it even worse is that this whole situation was so avoidable. It really would have been no problem to just schedule appointments with my advisor, it would be so easy. The other things were probably the more difficult things to accomplish in all honesty. But I genuinely forgot about them until Thanksgiving, and I just couldn’t be bothered after that, because the entire semester whenever I did remember it, I thought, “I’ll have time to make that appointment eventually”, up until now when I don’t. It’s all my fault this is happening because I was so lazy I never bothered to do it. There’s no one to blame but myself for all this

I sent an e-mail to the account I think I’m supposed to send it to about my probation, explaining the issue of missing my meetings. They don’t respond on weekends, so I have to wait until Monday to get a response because I sent that email at 11 PM on Friday. So I’ve at least started to work it out

And a part of me recognizes that maybe I’m just overblowing things in my head; again, this was probably the least important thing I needed to do, especially since we were supposed to meet with our advisors to work on improving our grades, and I’ve done that all on my own this semester. So maybe it really won’t be that bad, and everything will work out

But I’m terrified it won’t, that I’ll have thrown everything down the drain for something so small, and that I’ll be found out and have to deal with last summer all over again. It was supposed to be different this break, I could finally rest from everything, and literally my own mistakes have brought it all down

I feel like it’s been eating me alive these past two days, especially at night when my brain thinks more about it. But I can’t tell anyone, since my brother won’t really understand, and I’ve already listed why I can’t tell my parents. And it just makes it worse, because I have to be alone in this lie. There’s no one to tell, to assure me things will be fine, there’s only me. Which is probably why I’m posting it here, at least you people aren’t part of my real life to make me feel worse

I don’t know if I can keep it up for another day or two. My dad hasn’t come and asked me about the situation today, but I feel like he will tomorrow, especially if we go out tomorrow, which I assume will happen since we didn’t today. And by the way, I’m a pretty bad liar and I crack under pressure, so “keeping it up” means literally avoiding my parents whenever possible. I have the trick of staying under my blanket when they come over to my door, because I’ve somehow confused them into believing I was asleep/taking a nap, but I won’t always be listening in and prepared to use it at a moment’s notice, they can creep up on me. Or again, if we go out, it will be something my dad asks about. My parents don’t really like to ask me about normal non school/stress related things unless they think I’m in the clear. Which at this point is less frequent and they already have something to question me on. And I know I’ll just bury myself further and get them more mad if things don’t work out, but I can’t take them being mad at me either and causing them more problems, especially since I’ve already been lying about the situation, just not as much as I would be if I lie tomorrow as well

Why did I have to do this, why do I have to be such a horrible person? Why couldn’t I have just done this before, there would be no problem otherwise

[keeps-ache]

mm i Neeed to go the beach

[thetangibleghost]

I've always wanted to wake up from a dream laughing and I just did but I realized after I woke up that I have missed a million social cues :((((((((((((((((( it wasn't even funny idk why I couldn't stop giggling. I dont even giggle irl.

[aeide-thea]

wot show is so obsessed with architecture and tbh i'm not mad about it???