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#I guess it means something. but yeah something died in us when rowan died
cherrysnax · 4 months
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oh yeah we were also wondering why we flock to media with dead kids that haunt the narrative both figuratively and literally and uh :) yeah we know why
#child death tw#rowan seemed so much older when we were kids#but realistically she was barely like 14#maybe even 12 or 13#Jason Todd chara and asriel. them mfs from fnaf and maria#they’re dead kids but at the end of the day they’re all apart of someone else’s story#and a lot of them come back. in one way shape or form#with the exception of maria they all come back wrong and hurt and twisted by their deaths#but still deserving of love. still craving it more than anything#being a vessel for someone else’s opinions. barely even themselves#rowan died. and a part of us died with her#that was probably uh.. yknow. That guys last real time being here#cheri took all the stuff as kid. all of it happened to them but buddy boy was still kinda around#and then rowan died and then. She did too#and then Jay had to take over for years and then cheri came back but didn’t know they were cheri until#like they were 17 because they just repressed repressed repressed#and obviously those are very shallow views of those characters#but to a hurting kid who resonated so much with them they were everything#I have no clue why I’m so introspective tonight#but my friends do call me the emotion guy so#I guess it means something. but yeah something died in us when rowan died#but something was also born. rowan was a person. a little girl who should’ve grown up and that’ll never change#but I think this year is the year that we learn to let her go#im happy i got the chance to know her when we did#I hope she’s a fucking butterfly or something really cool like an alligator if her next life#also we already knew why we flocked to this media because duh. but like it helps to know which part of us needs more healing#who needs a therapist when you have me ;)
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danceworshipper · 2 months
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@hphm-ship-week Prompt 8: Sunset
aka part two of my gayass Rowan agenda
Ship: f!Rowan/Ismelda 🌲🖤
Date: September 8th, 1989 (sixth year)
It wasn't too cold to be outside yet, though Rowan knew that within a few weeks the Astronomy tower would be one of her least favored spots in the castle once more. She didn't mind staying up late to study the stars, not at all, but the cold of winter? It made her very bones shiver. If they were allowed warming charms there'd be no issue, but Professor Sinestra insisted that being cold helped with their focus. Rowan knew she was right. It still made her mutter under her breath.
She liked to get here early when it was nice weather to watch the sunset, and with most other students preferring to linger at dinner or in their Common Room, she was usually alone. Not that she minded, of course, because it was a great opportunity to get in some extra reading.
"Ugh, you're already here."
The corner of Rowan's mouth twitched upwards, not surprised in the slightest to hear Ismelda's voice behind her. If anyone else was going to show up early, it would be Ismelda. "As if you didn't just walk in an hour early."
Rowan heard the sound of Ismelda dropping her book bag onto the floor, and did her best not to look as footsteps approached and the other sat down close beside her, dangling her legs off the edge between the bars of the railing just like Rowan was.
A warm shoulder leaned against her as Ismelda peered at the book in Rowan's lap.
"What are you reading?" Ismelda asked.
Keeping her thumb on the page she was at, Rowan flipped the book shut to show her. "It's a book about the Goblin Rebellion of 1891. There was a huge confrontation in a hidden chamber below Hogwarts, and a professor named Eleazar Fig was killed."
Ismelda hummed. "There's a hidden chamber below Hogwarts?"
"It's Hogwarts," Rowan said dryly. "Obviously there's a hidden chamber. Probably more than that. Dozens, even."
"Does it say how to get in?"
"It says it's sealed off with an ancient type of magic so that no one can find it."
Ismelda scoffed. "It just says 'ancient magic'? No descriptions of what that means?"
"Nope, but apparently goblins could wield it. That's why the battle was under Hogwarts; there was a huge storage of power that a goblin named Ranrok was trying to steal."
"Hm. You know, I'm surprised a professor died. Guess the adults were less useless back then."
Rowan snorted. "It was a student who actually defeated Ranrok."
"Of course it was," Ismelda sighed. She rested her head on Rowan's shoulder and reached over her to flip the book back open. "How come we didn't learn about this one in class? We learned about a bunch of other rebellions."
Distracted, Rowan took a few extra seconds to answer.
"This is really the only book about it," she explained. "The student wanted to remain anonymous - much easier before handheld photography was widespread - and refused to go into detail about anything. I did ask Binns since he was around back then - "
"Fucking Merlin, he's been dead that long?" Ismelda interjected.
" - but he's got the timeline messed up. He knew Ranrok was a goblin but thought he was connected to something else."
Sighing, Ismelda shook her head. Her hair tickled Rowan's jaw.
"Even with only one book it's worth at least a short lesson," Ismelda reasoned. "There was a whole battle inside of a hidden and probably long forgotten chamber under the castle over some type of 'ancient magic' that no one knows anything about. Next time you take over for Binns, do me a favor and speed through the actual lesson so that you can talk about this. Also, you and I are going to find that chamber somehow, alright? I can get us down to the lowest known point of the castle, and I bet you could figure out how to break in. Then we could study the magic. Surely the two of us could learn how it worked. We'd be famous."
Rowan chuckled. "Yeah, alright. Are you free tomorrow night?"
"I'm being serious."
"I know."
"Obviously we can't try it tomorrow. People will be taking advantage of not having classes the next day. We should do it Sunday when most of them will be in bed."
Ismelda gently took Rowan's hand off of the book to thread their fingers together. "That way we won't be seen together," she said.
As she did every day, Rowan silently wished that someone else would come to class early for once, just to catch them. They both had their reasons to hide their... whatever they were, but she was getting so sick of the secrecy. Sneaking around in the library to study together, staying up late so they could talk in the Common Room, getting to Astronomy class super early. It had been fun at first, the thrill of it. Now it felt like more of an ache.
She pushed it out of her mind, choosing to enjoy the moments they did have, like this one right now. Ismelda flipped the book back to the beginning, but Rowan didn't protest, instead tipping her head up to watch the sun sink down in the sky. Being the highest tower, the Astronomy Tower had a spectacular view of the horizon. It was a wonder students didn't come up here to hang out very often. It was probably all of the stairs, she thought. The view itself wasn't worth that many stairs.
Rowan turned her head slightly to watch the golden light dance on Ismelda's face and found herself counting freckles. She looked so pretty when she wasn't scowling. Distantly, Rowan wondered if her own concentration face was cute, too. Ismelda ran her thumb over Rowan's knuckles as she read; she probably didn't even realize she as doing it. No, the view wasn't worth it by itself, but the company was. One day they could do this somewhere with less stairs. Until then, she'd climb as many as it took.
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