#but realistically she was barely like 14

[cherrysnax]

oh yeah we were also wondering why we flock to media with dead kids that haunt the narrative both figuratively and literally and uh :) yeah we know why

[smusherina]

yard work - chapter 16 [final chapter] (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.

warning(s): talk of past drug use and withdrawal symptoms.

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 9 / chapter 10 / chapter 11 / chapter 12 / chapter 13 / chapter 14 / chapter 15

[love renée but fuck am i getting sick of this gif. been looking at it for sixteen goshdarned chapters. finally i am freed.]

You woke up first. Naturally. Every time, every single morning that you'd had sleepovers, you'd been the first to wake up. The sun was shining through the blinds in a pleasant, warm yellow tone. Still morning but not unreasonably early.

You shifted to a more upright position, looking down at the girl still snoozing, whose hand was holding onto your forearm. She was all sprawled out, starfished as much as one could be on a couch. Her body was taking up the shorter end of the L-shape, one knee curled up towards her body, just barely on the couch, while the other stretched well beyond the end of the divan. You were situated much the same, except the other way around. You laid on the longer end so that your heads had almost met in the corner.

Her arms reached out towards you, one around your pillow and the other holding onto you. You knew you'd fallen asleep with much more distance between you, but you couldn't say you minded her having drifted.

Did you, though? You sighed and grumbled as you got up. Might as well do something while you contemplated reality, or something. Mrs George had insisted on some classic American breakfast ingredients, such as bacon and pancake mix. You didn't feel like causing a fire hazard, so pancakes were a no-go, at least for now. Eggs and bacon you could do.

What did you even, like, want? Realistically, actually, no, unrealistically what did you want? There was no sense in trying to make your base wants and desires realistic because at that point was any of that yours anymore? Likely not.

You wanted nights spent with Regina, talking and eating take-out, laughing until your tummy hurt and looking at her glowing in the blue light of whatever Adult Swim show was on at the time. You wanted grocery trips with Mrs George and to go to Kylie's games. You wanted people at school to just, simply not be jerks. You wanted Janis to find peace. You wanted Cady to wake up.

You wanted yesterday to not have happened. You wanted Thanksgiving dinner at the Georges' to never have happened. You wanted for your dad to be different, for Mr George to be different. You wanted your mom to not have died.

Looking at the bacon sizzling in the pan, you chewed on your lips and thought about that. You wanted many things. So many things, mostly for things to not have happened or to have happened differently. It was all wildly unrealistic. You were not a wizard, a time-traveller, or some other mystic being. You were a teenager.

You cracked the eggs into the mix. God, it smelled divine. You pulled a salt and pepper shaker from the spice rack and sprinkled a reasonable amount on there. You groaned out loud and threw your head back when you remembered there was sriracha in the fridge. Mrs George had seen you eyeing the bottle and had not taken a no for an answer, despite your abundant protestations.

"Spare your kitchen utensils the horror and go masturbate in your room like a normal person!" Regina hollered from the living room.

"Oh! Spatula! Harder! Harder!" You cried, moaning like you were receiving the blowie of your life. "If you want breakfast you're gonna have to witness this sordid affair." You called back, giggling. You leaned back from the stove, bending back at the waist. Regina was leaning her chin on the armrest, still more or less sprawled on your couch. There was a pout on her lips and a light flush to her cheeks.

"I'll show you sordid, nerd." She grouched before getting up. You straightened your posture, turning back to the stove, and probed the eggs in the pan with the spatula with a satisfied grin on your face.

You wanted this and more, above all. Was that something you were allowed to want? More importantly, was that something you were allowed to ask for?

Regina came up behind you, hand coming to rest on the small of your back. You didn't jump, much, which you were proud of.

"Looks yummy." She pointed out.

You hummed in agreement. "Can you put toast in the toaster?"

"Sure."

Then, as if no time at all passed, you were sitting down. Then eating and chatting. There was toast, eggs and bacon, and you'd made yourself a bowl of oatmeal. Mrs George had splurged on some blueberries and local honey. Regina refused to make eye contact when you were chewing, citing that your O-face was hard to look at. You only moaned louder and made more faces at her.

Then, just as you were heading to the couch to digest the meal as god intended, lying down, Regina yanked you to the foyer. Still in your jammies and everything, she insisted you bundle up and go for that walk she was talking about yesterday.

You'd hoped she would've forgotten. Sure, the weather was nice for once but if you didn't have to go outside then why would you? It was below freezing!

Much like her mother, she would not budge. You were going on a walk.

"What am I? A dog?" You muttered as you wrapped your scarf around your neck.

"If you were a dog, you'd be a... A Doberman." She was already dressed. It was odd for your roles to have switched like this. Usually, you were the one waiting for her to get ready. She had on a thick, white parka and a cute beanie. She also had on black leggings sure to insulate absolutely nothing and bulky, also black, fur boots.

"What? 'Cause I'm big and scary?" You preened at that, smiling widely.

"Nope." She tilted her head, examining you. "Gloves."

"Geez, okay, mom." You grabbed some mittens from the hat rack. "Why Doberman?"

"They wouldn't look so scary if they didn't have their ears clipped, y'know?" She said. You just looked at her weirdly, not catching her meaning. Your ears were not clipped. "Anyway, let's go."

"Aye aye," With that, you were out of the door.

You walked the block and down to the street. The sidewalk stopped so you went by the side of the road. She was walking ahead of you. It was cold out but not too windy, so it didn't feel so bad.

The sidewalk started again eventually. There, you walked side by side. You were just looking at a bird perched on a wire when you felt her grab your hand. Thinking she had something to say, you turned to look at her. She was still facing forward, the other hand in her pocket, walking along. She was just holding your hand.

Oh. Oh. She was holding your hand. Out in public. Not a lot of people were out at this hour, not even cars since it was a weekend. There was a woman with a stroller. A psychopathic man out on a jog. A dog walker. Still, it was outside where anyone who walked by could see.

You arrived at the park, hands clasped together. You stopped by a bench.

"I don't think we should sit." You said, observing the coating of snow piled on top.

"Let's go over there." Regina pointed to a tree a little ways away.

You went obediently, following the tug of her hand in yours. She was holding your hand. You felt all warm in your chest, like you were full of warm water.

You stopped by the tree. She looked around, trying to spot if anybody was nearby. Then, like she had a secret to tell you, she motioned for you to bend down closer. You did. Her hand squeezed at your fingers as the other came up to your neck, pulling you down the rest of the way.

The warmth you'd felt became hot, like an oil fire erupting in the foil-covered saucepan that was your heart, kernels and half-popped popcorn sputtering out as she kissed you. Your eyes just barely got to shutter closed before she pulled away. Instinctively, your body so starved of affection and touch, you chased her and found her lips again.

She smiled against your mouth. It felt like a secret of the utmost importance being shared, like a pinkie finger wrapped around your own in the corner of the room during a sleepover, giggled promises and childish adoration. She tasted vaguely like breakfast, and maybe egg-breath should've been nasty, but it wasn't.

Cold seeping in, the anxious feeling like you were soon going to be caught taking hold, you pulled away. You didn't lean away entirely, crowding her against the tree. When you'd gotten so close, pinned her, you weren't sure.

"Do..." What were you supposed to say post-kiss? "Do you like it sloppy?"

"What?" Her brows furrowed and the smile on her face turned sharper. What to say post-kiss: Not That.

"Uh, I mean, I just- uh..." You swallowed. "I don't know how to, like, I don't have technique. I dunno. Was that good? I saw Aaron was doing it differently..."

Regina rolled her eyes, head thumping lightly against the tree as her neck lolled back. "You would bring up Aaron now." She sighed. "It's fine. It's- it's good."

"Okay." You swallowed again. A slow smile crept up to your face. "It was good?"

"Ugh, yes, shut up." She shoved you away, but you just allowed the momentum to swing you back to her. "I... I don't think I'm good at words."

You chuckled at that. "No, you're not." She glared. You shrugged. "But, hey, you know me. I'm Chatty Kathy."

"No," She huffed through her nose, seemingly in frustration. "I wish I could say to you what I mean. What I feel. But I just... It's... It's not supposed to be but it's embarrassing."

Looking at her, hunched in on herself like a girl her age was supposed to be at times, so different from how she was most of the time, made your chest feel tight. You figured a person having been raised like she was, having turned out the way she had, would find being vulnerable uncomfortable. Or, as she said it, embarrassing.

Then again, it wasn't your place nor your duty to psycho-analyze her.

"Reg, I..." You hesitated. "I'm tired of, like, sitting in the passenger seat while you bulldoze everyone. I'm tired of feeling like if I do something you don't like you'll push me under too." You pulled away from her, hands getting sore from leaning your weight against the rough bark. "And then there's this whole thing." You gestured around you at the empty park. "Even if we were the best couple ever in terms of, I dunno, vibes or something, we're still..."

"Lesbians." She finished for you. "I'm a lesbian, Jorts." A sentence you never thought you'd hear from Regina George. "I know. For me, it felt justified for a long time, keeping them in their place, but since we started talking again, doing all that stuff just started to seem... Unimportant. And stupid." She fiddled with her fingers, eyes glued to the space between you. "It hasn't gone away. I still want to, I guess, hurt people because it does make me feel better even if it's, like, fucked up. But I want something else more than I want that."

"What's that?" You couldn't help but ask, hope stuck in your throat. Choking hazard.

"You, obviously." She said it so flippantly as if those words didn't just send your heart into the Milky Way. "I want you. I'll stop doing that stuff for you. I know we can't be out yet, but I... I have good grades."

You looked at her, puzzled. She huffed and continued. "I'll go to college. Major in, uh, I dunno, some sorta politics and I'll change the law. Maybe a law degree would work better for that, actually." She seemed to think about it for a moment before returning to her point. "Whichever one would be best in getting gay marriage legalized."

"You..." You had to laugh at that, disbelieving as well as delighted. "You're gonna change the world for me?"

"If that's what it takes." She said, determination shining so bright it made your eyes water.

"Wow, okay." You licked your lips, trying to will the stupid grin off your face. You had some important questions still. "If I moved away, would you still stop?"

She paused at that. Took a moment to really look at you, like she hadn't considered that to be a real possibility.

"Yes." She sounded so sure you believed her. "I just don't have... What it takes anymore. I guess. I don't know if there's something wrong with me that I... I want to be mean, sometimes. It's funny. For me." She glanced down and then looked somewhere over your shoulder. "It took a lot of work to get to what Regina George is now. I don't want to put in all that next year."

"Y'know what they say. New year, new me." You quipped, looking down at her. You were quite sure your pupils had morphed into heart shapes, despite your valiant efforts to have this meaningful conversation without seeming like a love-drunk idiot.

(She kissed you. You kissed her. It was a beautiful morning, you were on a walk and you'd held hands and then you'd kissed under a barren willow tree. It was the first day of Christmas break and you were spending it with Regina George.)

"Does that mean I can be a raging bitch till January 1st?" She asked, eyebrow notching.

You laughed. "Only if you..." You bit your bottom lip, getting nervous. "Only if I get a kiss for every mean thing you say."

"Deal." She offered her hand to you, a cheesy smile on her face.

You pulled your glove off and spit on your hand, then made to take hers.

"Ew! That's disgusting!" She flinched away from you, violently shoving herself back against the tree. "Don't- no! Not near me! Don't touch me with that!"

She bolted and you ran after her, cackling maniacally. You waved your spat-on hand at her as you chased her around the park, her shrieking and you laughing.

"I'm serious, J!" She looked at you over her shoulder as she ran. "Stop chasing me!"

"Stop running away from me!"

"You're just gonna smear your spit on me, you- you fiend!"

"Pinky swear I won't!"

"I won't pinky-swear with your disgusting paws, you-"

With a yelp, Regina tripped over something, probably a root, and fell to the ground. You, having been closing in on her, put the brakes on, windmilled your arms, and tried to stop, but soon followed her into the snow.

"Ouf!" The breath wooshed out of her as you fell on her. She wheezed as you rolled off of her, half-heartedly punching in your direction. You giggled and dodged to the best of your ability, not even minding the snow seeping through your pyjama pants.

Giving some time for her to recover, you laid on your back and looked up at the sky. Clear blue with some thick, greyish clouds looming in the peripheral, morning was turning to day fast. Soon, the park would surely get some more traffic. Kids and their adults, mostly. There was a sizeable play area in the centre. You were pretty much on the outskirts of the park.

It was a familiar spot. You and the guys used to meet your other friends here all the time. Those times it'd been night, too dark to see the faces of the guys with big gym bags, filled to bursting with little plastic baggies and glass bottles.

You turned your head to look at her once her breathing had quieted down.

"You bitch," She hissed at you, the usual venom in her voice gone, replaced by exhaustion. You could only smile, somewhat sheepish but mostly just happy.

"It'd be a lot harder to resist if we were still in school, y'know." You said, turning back to watch the sky. "You can't change the law until we graduate. Until then, we're stuck here. And then, let's say you do change the law and it's passed, it's gonna take some time for people to accept that."

"Yeah," Regina agreed, folding her arms under her chin to lean on.

"And you can say that you'll change a hundred times easily, but actually doing it is different."

"When did you get so wise?"

"When I was all alone for years and did some stupid stuff."

"Like what?" You could tell she wouldn't be expecting what you said next. Even you weren't expecting it.

"You know how I sell drugs and alcohol, right? Where do you think I get the stuff from? I got to know some people while we weren't talking." You sighed. Remembering those times, the worst of them, still so fresh despite it having been years, wasn't nice. "Vandalism, underage drinking, shoplifting, driving without a licence... Did some harder drugs than weed... Stupid shit. I stopped most of it when I got caught the last time and almost went to juvie. Dad got me out, somehow. Probably threw money at people."

You turned your head to look at Regina. She was already paying keen attention to you. "I told my mandated therapist I was gonna change. I said I wasn't going to ever do anything like that ever again. I lied, of course."

"When did you actually stop, then?" She asked.

"Months after the mandated therapy was over." You put your hands in your pockets, getting cold. "I wanted to do it before then. I wanted to just, not be that. A druggie fifteen-year-old spraypainting some dilapidated trailer, hanging around guys that were way too old to be hanging around me. I didn't want to be that but at the same time being anything else was terrifying. I don't think highly of myself, but that was low even for me. Then, Mrs George found me one time."

"Mom?" The question was more out of shock than actual inquiry.

"Yeah." You blinked a couple of times. "I was in a bad state. Withdrawals. I made her promise she wouldn't tell my dad if I allowed her to take me home. She was talking the whole ride from downtown to mine, trying to keep me awake. I just lost it. I don't remember what I said or exactly what I did, but she had to pull over and restrain me." You gulped. "It was awful. Then she offered that I could mow your lawn for some money. I used it the first couple of times to get a new dose. She used to ask what I'd be spending it on and those times I had some bullshit excuse, but the first time I said I was probably gonna get some McDonalds', she cried. Cried real actual tears." You didn't feel like looking at Regina, but you could feel her eyes on the side of your head. "After that it just... It wasn't worth it."

"You never told me." Regina breathed out, still sounding shocked.

"I didn't want to." You turned onto your side, body facing her. "I was- am ashamed."

You didn't feel shame now, though. You undoubtedly would later, tomorrow perhaps, but not now. You were glad for it. You regretted it, wished you hadn't gone down that road, but lying there in the cold snow there was only indifference. That had happened. You had done that.

"Me too." She whispered. "Obviously, it's not the same, but-"

"I know what you mean. And it could be more similar than you think. Quitting an addiction is hard, but I wouldn't say quitting a behaviour is easy."

"It's stupid to compare drug addiction to being a bitch." Regina huffed, a frown on her face. "It's incomparable."

"Well, then let's not compare. Both can be hard in their own way without diminishing the other. What I'm trying to point out is that," You thought for a moment. "We're both trying to get over a bad, toxic habit that feels safe and good and like the only option, without seeing the merit or the other supposedly better option first. It's scary."

"Are you still trying to get over it?"

"I haven't been on drugs since, no. But it's not something that goes away. Not ever."

"And you're still kinda in it." She said, remembering your hustle around the school.

"Yeah. I can't expect you to be all buddy-buddy with everybody suddenly. That'd be hypocritical."

"So what do we do?"

What a question. One that you did not have the answer to. You didn't feel unsettled by the confusion. You hadn't told anyone of your dark past (gosh, could you be any more emo?) since those that knew had just kind of stumbled across it, so telling somebody felt... Good. You'd just sort of blurted it all out without thinking about it too much.

"Can we go back home? I wanna..." You stopped, realizing I wanna make out with you on the couch sounded awfully crude.

A lecherous grin spread Regina's cheeks. "Oh, I see. You just want me for my body."

"No!" You denied, indignant. "I would never."

"You would never want me for my body." She reiterated, purposefully misconstruing what you said. "Wow. Just wow."

"Regina, c'mon, I just mean..."

"Say what you were gonna say." She rolled away and up, towering above you with a twinkling smile pointed down at your prone body.

"Let's just go," You said and tried to get up. Like some bondage dominatrix, she pushed you back down with a shoe on your chest.

You hated how that sort of got to you. Your heart beat faster against her Ugg. Hopefully, she didn't feel it through the thick sole.

"Nuh-uh. Say it."

"I... I wanna make..." You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. "I wanna go home and make out with you on the couch."

"Oh, that wasn't so hard, now was it, baby? Let's go."

It was only once you'd made it back, chucked your wet clothes into the hamper, and spent a considerable amount of time in liplock, that either of you thought to circle back.

"Hey," Regina said, adjusting her weight to not be leaning on you so heavily. Your lips smacked apart and, gosh, now you were the gross ones. "I just now realized,"

"What are you realizing while you're supposed to be kissing me?" You pouted, falling onto your side and away from her. Your hand went over your eyes like you were a swooning maiden. Regina just patted your leg in mock consolation.

"You have your drug thing-" Only she would refer to your past addiction as your drug thing. "but I was, like, the only one doing anything actually wrong. Actively. You know what I mean." You craned your neck to look at her. Your double chin was probably epic.

"I lied to you by omission. I was really mean to you on Thanksgiving."

"Okay, lying by omission was bad and never do that again," She paused, waiting for you to affirm. You nodded solemnly. "But you were only mean after I was mean first. So, both forgiven. Anyway, I'm talking, like... I don't know how to say it."

You blinked. You didn't know what she meant so you couldn't really help. Regina huffed, nails scratching absent-mindedly on your calves.

"You made it sound like we were both wrong for how things exploded." She eventually said. "That was all me."

"I shouldn't have been such a doormat. I let you walk all over me and I never said anything about how I really felt."

"I don't think you can be in the wrong for that."

"I think I can be. At least the way that I was. I could've said something."

"And what would that've achieved? Me cutting you off and nothing changing?"

You clambered up to your elbows. "And now we're here." You smiled, one side a little crooked with how gleeful you were. "Look, we can hash everything out during the break, now just... Let's focus on other things."

Regina, still looking conflicted, caressed a hand up your leg. You shivered. You were in just a hoodie and loose briefs. Regina was more covered up than you, but still in just your old basketball shorts and a big band tee.

"Reggie, I'm getting used to asking for things I shouldn't want. Amuse me." You turned onto your back and hooked your legs around Regina. She fell forward, hands braced on either side of your torso. "Kiss me."

"I just don't want to mess up and have all this go away." She swallowed, a worried crease between her eyebrows.

"I think we're gonna mess up plenty of times. It's a possibility you'll find some justification to make somebody's life hell for a time. I could relapse." You pulled her closer with your legs, arms coming up to cross your fingers behind her neck. "A lot of the time we're not gonna want to admit it, we might not even know it. So, we can lay out a few... Promises, or something."

"Okay," Regina said, gazing down at you like you never imagined. Like you meant things to her. Important things.

"Promise me that you'll listen. Even if you disagree, please hear me out." She nodded seriously. "And, in turn, I promise to speak my mind. When I don't like something, or just like something, I'll say so." Again, she nodded. You loosened your hold on her neck and rubbed your thumbs on her cheeks. Getting to touch her like this, having her literally between your legs, was more than you ever thought you'd get.

Even if this ended in a similar fashion to the Thanksgiving kiss, or even much, much worse, you'd have regretted not taking the chance for the rest of your life.

"And... This is the most important one... Come closer."

Regina shifted closer, bending down, her elbows coming to rest next to your chest as she turned her ear towards you.

You whispered conspiratorially, like this was top-secret: "Still let me do your yard work."

Notes: Fucking christ. I wrote this all in one sitting. 4.3k words. That's like two chapters. I've written long chapters before, longer than this, but I got so used to the 2k on average pace that this felt huge.

Also! Don't be spooked by the [final chapter] marking! This is the last chapter in the story, yes, but we'll be hearing more from Reggie and Jorts still! I have a couple of epilogue sequences I want to write. Would y'all be interested in a poll as to what order those should be published? As in, chronological. Do we start from 10 Years Later... or something more like, idk, next summer? Lmk in the comments :)

This might be counterintuitive to add, and if my lovely amazing readers have exercised their reading comprehension during this series they might get why on a more nuanced level, revenge on Gretchen was left out purposefully. This will not be the last we hear of her, I have some plans for her in some of the epilogues, but yes. That plot point was left open on purpose.

The name. A lot of people like it! I was feeling insecure about my lack of foresight and impulsive naming, but hey, as it turns out it's not that deep! To add, it went really nicely with the end there I think :) No changes will be happening.

This note is getting so long. I just wanna thank everybody that's been along for the ride so far. I read every single comment and check my notifications way too often for new ones. I'm pretty used to writing for quite dead/inactive fandoms on AO3, and I love that site it's my origin, but it's very different to Tumblr. I just feel like people on here are much more open to sharing their thoughts. Everybody who's bore witness to my grief with the taglist, thank you for your patience. And thank you so much for wanting to be on it. I cannot believe people wanted that. For little ole me? Oh, you shouldn't have...

If there are spelling errors or grammatical weirdness, shhh. I'm not reading all that again at 1am. Toodles!

Taglist will be posted separately! Comment on that post if you want to be added to be notified when the epilogies are published!

[heli-writes]

A dragon's heart, part 14.

Pairing: Barbarian!Bakugou Katsuki x female!reader

Summary: The dragonblood tribe is known for being cruel, barbarian warriors that slaughter, loot and rape all places they pass through. They are feared among the villagers and even bigger cities. Having lost most of their women to a plague, they're trying to ensure their tribe's survival by kidnapping women from other places. However, they're not the only monsters in human form out there. When y/n experiences this first hand, she has no choice but to ask for help from no other but the barbarian leader Katsuki Bakugou himself.

Disclaimer: mentions of injuries, mentions of rape and abuse, marking, trauma symptoms, trust issues

[Please don't read if you are sensible to or triggered by the topics mentioned above.]

Note: Y'all I'm back from the beach all crispy and tanned. Finally found some time and inspiration to continue this.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14

Series Masterlist

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The first day, y/n didn't leave the tent because of spite (and the immense pain that radiated off the wound in pulsating waves). The second day, she didn't leave the bed cause she felt as if she'd faint if she tried to get up. By the third day, y/n developed a fever that made it impossible for her to move at all.

Katsuki watches over her with a worried gaze. He's in and out of their shared tent trying to balance his business and his mate. He orders the healers to have a close look at her. When the head healer comes to speak with him while he’s fulfilling his duty, he knows that something is wrong.

“The infection spread. She’s having a high fever. I’ve already sent some of our men to look for fresh herbs to make a fever-reducing medicine, but that can only help so much. We will be giving her cool calf compresses throughout the night. You might want to stay with her tonight.”, the healer explains.

Katsuki feels as if his heart stopped for a millisecond. He only gives the healer a short nod. It might seem cold and emotionless towards others, but the truth is that Katsuki doesn’t trust his voice.

After that, he adjourns the meeting with his men and returns to y/n’s bedside. Some healers are busily swirling around the small tent, soaking cloths in cold water and pulling them around y/n’s legs. 

Katsuki delicately holds y/n’s hand as if her hand would turn to dust like a dried flower when you crunch it too hard. He stares at her chest which heavily goes up and down. Despite her obvious troubled breathing, y/n barely lets out a sound. He’d take her yelling at him over this eery silence any day.

“Bakugou.”, a voice rips him out of his thoughts. Kirishima stands at the entrance of the tent. When Katsuki gives him a sign, Kirishima carefully enters his leader’s private quarter.

“How is she?”, Kirishima asks carefully standing behind him. Katsuki doesn’t turn around to meet his eye. 

“The fever’s bad but the healers are working on it.”, he tells him.

Kirishima stays silent. Katsuki does not need to explain y/n’s condition further. Fevers are tricky things. They come in slowly and when they hit, they’re hard to get under control. Katsuki’s own father perished due to the same infection that took out most of his tribe’s women. He understands better than anyone just how quickly a simple infection can take someone’s life.

“She will pull through.”, Kirishima encourages him. Katsuki’s lips form a firm line. When Katsuki doesn’t answer, he adds: “That one is a strong one. She’s a fighter”.

“So was my father. So were many of our women.”, Katsuki tells him.

“This is not the same, you know that. They were sick and y/n has only an infected wound.”, Kirishima points out.

“And how many warriors have we lost because of that?”, Katsuki presses. Kirishima stays silent. He wishes his leader would be less of a realist sometimes. It’d be easier to cheer him up in dark moments.

The entrance of the tent is moved once again and Mitsuki enters. She gives the healers and Kirishima a sign to leave her alone with her son.

“Have you come to gloat, mother?”, Katsuki bites venomously. Mitsuki gives him a long, unidentifiable look.

“I do not wish this upon you or… her.”, Mitsuki says. Katsuki doesn’t look at his mother either. Instead, he observes how y/n’s eyelashes cast a slim shadow onto her undereyes.

Mitsuki sighs deeply and sits down next to him.

“Son… I know how you feel. Remember, I’ve lost your father the same way.”, she reminds him. When Katsuki doesn’t answer her, she continues.

“Maybe it was inevitable. We’ve lost other women before her. These women you bring in are not suited for life in the mountains. They’re often too weak to survive the harsh winters out here. It’s not their fault their bodies are weak. They do not carry the same hot blood as we do. The blood that also makes our wounds heal faster.”, Mitsuki tells him.

“Others survived the mating. So will she.”, Katsuki says determinedly. It’s something he’s not sure of, something he didn’t even believe only seconds ago when Kirishima pointed out the same thing. Maybe he's just saying it to defy his mother. He’s aware of how fragile y/n is compared to women of his tribe. It’s why he fears the worst.

Mitsuki looks at her son for a long time before putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Son, I know this is not what you wished for, but maybe it’s for the best.”, she tells him. Harshly Katsuki yanks his shoulder back and shoves her hand away.

“That my mate dies days after she became mine? How is that for the best?”, Katsuki whisper-yells. The healers must still be outside the tent.

Mitsuki pulls back her arm. “She’s not suited for this life, to be a strong leader by your side. It’s best that it happens so early before you’re too attached to her.”, Mitsuki says compassionately and it just makes Katsuki just more angry.

“If she dies, I will not take another mate. As it is custom.”, Katsuki harshly points out.

“In our situation, no one would question you breaking traditions.”, Mitsuki replies.

“I don’t care.”, Katsuki barks and grips y/n’s hand tighter. There’s no one else for him besides her. He made his choice, he knew the implications.

Mitsuki sighs and gets up. “We’ll see.”, she only says calmly and turns around to exit the tent leaving Katsuki alone sitting at y/n’s side.

~*~*~*~

Everything lies in a hazy fog. Y/n is sure she can make out Katsuki's face in her distorted vision. Something hot runs through her stomach. Is it anger? She can't remember what she should be angry about. Then maybe, she's wrong. Her vision fades and Katsuki's face becomes blurred. Maybe it was never Katsuki to begin with?

„Brother!“, y/n calls out through the mist.

Is he here? Has he come to take her home? Back to mother and father and their little wagon in the woods?

Soft voices reach her ears. The strum of a guitar is somewhere far away alongside a soft voice. A familiar melody comes forward in her consciousness. Her tongue feels heavy as she tries to sing alongside her mother's lullaby.

Someone strokes over her hot, wet forehead.

„It's alright little one. Rest now.“, her father's voice says close to her ear. Relief floods her anxious thoughts and y/n relaxes. I'm safe, y/n thinks.

„Don't worry, my love.“, her mother says from her other side, „It's just a cold. You've played too long in the snow with your brother.“

Right, of course. Y/n remembers. It snowed in the night and y/b/n and her snuck out of the tent before their parents woke up. They built a snowman and made snow angels. When her mother saw the two of them barefoot in the snow, she shooed them back inside and made them sit by the fire with a blanket and a hot cup of tea. Y/n fell asleep on her brother's shoulder.

Y/n leans into the hand that strokes her forehead.

„Brother, stay with me.“, she begs but she isn't sure if she only says it in her head. Dirty blonde hair shuffles through her hazy vision. Someone holds her hand. Y/n lets out a shaky breath.

It's alright. Y/b/n is here. You're safe., she thinks as she fades into a dream of snow-capped forests, frozen lakes and her brother's laugh in the distance.

~*~*~*~

Kirishima watches his leader with worried eyes. Y/n has been drifting in and out of consciousness all night. The moments that she's been awake a dull haze covered her eyes. She's been trying to speak but the words hardly leave her throat.

The hazier her gaze gets, the glossier Katsuki's gaze becomes.

Kirishima places a hand on his friend's shoulders. There's not much they can do right now. The healers are still changing the calf compresses every ten minutes or so, trying to cool down her body as much as possible. Behind Katsuki's back, the head healer told him that y/n either makes it through the night and will live or not. Kirishima didn't have the heart to tell his friend, but he's sure Katsuki knows without anybody telling him.

Y/n lets out a shaky breath and tears shimmer in her eyes. She calls out a name. She's been repeating the name for some time now. Katsuki just holds her hand a bit tighter.

„I think it's her brother.“, Kirishima tries to calm his friend, „I don't know much of her language but I think she's been saying the word for brother earlier“.

„I didn't even know she had a brother“, Katsuki says quietly.

„Maybe he isn't with her anymore. When the veil between the living and the dead is thin for a person, they often call out to those that went before them.“, Kirishima offers and almost instantly regrets bringing up death in front of his friend.

„Or maybe I ripped her away from him and now she has to die alone surrounded by strangers.“, Katsuki flatly points out.

For a moment, Kirishima doesn't know what to say. Of course, that's a possibility too. But until now that has never mattered when they took women. The survival of their tribe always came first for Katsuki. He didn't think much about the women's families. Kirishima was never sure whether Katsuki was so cold that he didn't care or if Katsuki didn't allow himself to care about it because it was expected from the leader of the tribe.

„Promise her to find him.“, Kirishima says without thinking. Katsuki turns his head back to him.

„What?“, he asks and Kirishima only nods. He doesn't offer his leader an explanation. Katsuki turns his head back to y/n and stares at her struggling form for a while before ordering Kirishima to leave them. Wordlessly, Kirishima leaves the tent.

Katsuki takes a long look at y/n before taking her hunting knife that she always keeps close. Carefully, he cuts a fine line into the inside of his hand. He watches the blood pushing through the cut. He takes a long look at y/n's face before pressing his bloody hand to her heart.

„If you survive tonight, I, Katsuki Bakugou, son of Masaru and Mitsuki Bakugou, promise to find y/b/n and to let you go with him if you so please.“

~*~*~*~

There's the faint sound of metal hitting against each other and men clamoring in the distance but the tent lies in absolute silence. Y/n struggles to regain her vision for a couple of moments. She's feeling groggy and terrible. For a split second, she believes she's in her parent's tent.

Then, she remembers where she is. This is Katsuki's tent. Her head throbs from the lack of water. Her hand flies to her forehead and she puts it over her eyes in an attempt to milder the hammering feeling in her head.

She's been sick. She remembers waking up multiple times. She remembers waking up to unknown men pouring a thick, bitter fluid down her throat and a cool piece of cloth placed onto her head. She remembers waking up to Katsuki leaning over her watching her with furrowed, worried eyes. She remembers her brother's face in her periphery. Y/n wonders how much time has passed since Katsuki cleaned her wound. And for a very short moment, she wonders if her brother actually found her.

Quickly, she discards the idea. It was probably a fever dream. Something her imagination came up with in an attempt to calm her struggling body and mind. Y/n feels hot tears burning behind her eyes at the thought making her head feel worse.

Her hand flies to her throat where the wound is still wrapped in a tight bandage. She realizes that her head feels worse than the wound. Actually, she barely feels the wound at all. She wonders if it healed or if everything else just feels worse.

Groaning, y/n tries to sit up. I need water, she thinks. When she moves, there's a twitch of a body at her side. Only then she notices Katsuki who lies next to her face down. He's clutching her other hand. Katsuki groans and turns over letting go of her hand. Quickly, y/n pulls it away from him.

Katsuki stretches and turns his head to her.

When he notices that y/n is awake, he jerks up. His head spins for a moment from getting up too quickly. Immediately he sits up and pulls y/n close. He hides his face in her hair. Y/n let it happen and suddenly her heart feels heavy with grief. Grief, that her brother isn't here, that she's still stuck here, and that Katsuki hurt her when she was ready to trust him all the way.

It's impossible to hold back tears anymore and they stream down her cheeks and onto Katsuki's arm as he holds her. She wants to push him away but at the same time, she longs for the warmth and comfort Katsuki offers her right now. She wants to be held, wants him to pet her hair and tell her everything will be alright. And most importantly, she wants to believe him.

When y/n looks up, Katsuki is watching her with sorrowful eyes. Carefully, he wipes some tears away and his gaze falls onto the bandage on her throat. Softly, he traces the wound beneath the bandage and then carefully leans closer. Y/n's breath hitches a bit but she's too weak to pull back. Softly, Katsuki presses a kiss onto the bandage right where he hurt her not too long ago.

Katsuki's hair tickes her chin and y/n stares at the wall of the tent behind him. Katsuki's hand softly traces patterns onto her arm as he continues to hide his face at her throat. He's so soft right now that y/n wonders what possessed him to hurt her in the first place.

When Katsuki notices that y/n doesn't struggle against him, he pulls back and looks at her. Y/n holds his gaze. There's no fire or anger behind her eyes. Just exhaustion. Slowly, he leans forward, presses a kiss to her forehead and pulls her close. Y/n can't help but lean into his touch. She's been feeling so alone. How can she refuse Katsuki's touch right now? She's too worn out physically and emotionally to fight him or the burning want in her stomach to be comforted by him.

Katsuki puts his hand into her hair and pulls his face closer to his. Y/n continues to hold his gaze. She can see worry, sadness and regret shimmering behind them. Maybe also something like relief. His nose grazes hers and she can feel his breath on her lips.

Katsuki is desperate to kiss her right now but he doesn't move forward. He's not sure if he's still allowed to touch her like that.

Y/n wants to be angry with him like she was before the fever took hold of her. She wants to yell and scream at him. At the same time, she wishes for nothing more than for him to close the gap between them and kiss her. But she's too exhausted to do anything other than lay still in his arms.

She wonders if she’s going mad. If she’s suffering some mental illness that makes her love a man who hurt her, wonders if maybe she’s always been mad like this which led to all her bad decisions. Or if the death of her parents and the loss of her people made her mad like that.

Y/n is ripped out of her thoughts when Katsuki’s lips softly graze hers. It's that moment that she decides that she doesn’t care and that it doesn’t matter.

I dug my own grave, now I have to lay in it.

Before Katsuki can realize what is happening, she closes the gap between them and kisses Katsuki deeply.

For a moment, Katsuki is frozen. He struggles to understand y/n's ever-changing emotions and actions. Only a couple of days ago she looked at him as if she wanted to murder him. He decides that he doesn't care and that it doesn't matter. Not after almost losing her.

He pulls her closer so that her entire body is pressed against him. He reciprocates the kiss and kisses her as deeply as he can. He tries to pour all the words that she doesn't understand into this one kiss.

They kiss until they can't breathe anymore and they need to pull apart. Katsuki softly pushes a greasy strand of hair out of her face, but it's stuck to her sweaty forehead. He offers her a small smile because he's not sure if this means she has forgiven him.

When y/n sighs and leans against his forehead, relief finally floods through his body.

My mate didn't reject me.

He pulls her into his arms and engulfs her with his much larger frame. Y/n leans into him and Katsuki pulls the blanket over them. They can stay here for a little while longer. At least until one of the healers comes in with another portion of this god-awful syrup.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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[eyesteeth]

love the diner scene in episode 5 so much. on the surface it's hysterical, hayward just dumps this rant about his wife (soon to be ex-wife) onto carpenter, someone he fully believes to be involved in the deaths of five men, with barely any prompting. and carpenter cringes through the whole thing and it's so awkward to listen to. it's four minutes of an incredibly realistic rendition of the worst conversation possible.

and then later you learn that there is no ex-wife. hayward just said that shit off the cuff. and it's so fucking funny on a second listen. all that awkwardness, to a stranger, about something that didn't even happen.

when he mentions his wife again in episode 14, something's clearly off - his speech about the good man running, it feels more like him talking about himself than describing what someone said to him. then, when he says his wife knows he's at the party in episode 18/S2E3, we know he's been on his own for a while. finally, it comes out in episode 27/S2E12 that she was never real. and this knowledge completely recontextualizes the whole encounter in episode 5.

him talking about fear and apprehension, that mounting feeling, desperately wanting something to be over but not wanting to make it be over, feeling like you're giving more than you're taking, it's very clearly him ranting about his job and his associated insecurities. he goes into feeling like he's going to lose himself if he pulls away from this "relationship" or come out the other side worsened from the whole ordeal.

and then carpenter pipes in, and says that there's another option - he can destroy the other party. and that's where this scene really clicks and comes together, because the thoughts hayward is having about his job are the same thoughts carpenter is having about her faith.

she also doesn't want to be here, both in the sense of being in this town and being in this position. she's tired of gods and the problems they cause for her and everyone, and she's struggling with leaving. hayward and carpenter foil each other incredibly in this regard. they even have similar forces pushing them to make this choice in the first place - hayward got into the police because he didn't want to let his mother down, and carpenter got into the church because of the fear surrounding her brother's death. it's guilt and family for both of them.

then, in season two, we get to see them both existing outside of their respective "bad partners" - hayward abandoning his job and working with paige, and carpenter traveling alone to bury the body she's given. (the similarities diverge here - carpenter spends this time alone reflecting and ultimately decides she needs no higher force in her life, while hayward feels directionless without a higher authority and so goes all in on the new god - they both go in very different directions with the momentum they're given)

now, with season three six days away, they're both being pursued by that same "bad partner" from before - hayward was already on the run from the police and making a god isn't going to put him in any better graces, and carpenter has the forces of the river faith coming after her for a double-murder she didn't do. when their paths converge, which is very likely, maybe they'll foil each other again. only time will tell.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

lets lighten to mood here a bit: what are your top 5 kataang moments?

"Top five" hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha, what kind of nonsense is this? I need a top 15!

#15 - Them bickering on Kyoshi Island (01x04)

This one was one my favorite scenes in the whole show, even back when I didn't really care for Kataang as a ship. It's just such a funny, accurate representation BOTH of "When you wanna hang out with your friend, but you're still too mad to talk things out" and "When your is getting attention from other people and now you're really, really jealous."

Scenes like this are why I never felt Kataang was truly one-sided, again, even back when I personally didn't like the ship - it's just so obvious that with how close they are, lots of moments that could have been purely platonic end up having a romance vibe, so the eventually romance feels way more earned.

#14 - Aang nearly cofessing his feelings to Katara (02x18)

It's a short little moment, but I like it a lot. Aang is just so shy and nervous, it's adorable - and I actually don't mind that they were interrupted because we got lots of flirting in book 3.

#13 - The first two damn episodes (01x01 & 01x02)

I know, I know, putting not one, but two whole episodes is cheating like crazy, but I don't care. Aang likes Katara IMMEDIATELY, they go penguin sliding, he offers to take her to the North Pole long before he finds out HE needs to go there, Katara is ready to throw hands with everyone for wanting to banish Aang and is then losing her mind when he is taken by the Fire Nation. Even Sokka noticed they were getting a bit too clingy for two people that just freaking met and goes "Let's save your boyfriend."

#12 - "Baby, you're my forever girl" (03x09)

This one is just HILARIOUS. It starts out looking very realistic, sweet and romantic... and is then derrailed into embarrassing teenage fantasies, and Aang clearly feels so awkward when he realizes he had just been standing there like a dumbass. The entire episode is great, but that scene is easily top 3 of the funniest moments in it.

#11 - Flirting after he gives her the necklace back (01x15)

They are freaking adorable in that scene. Aang joking around when returning the necklace to her, Katara kissing his cheek and making him blush... peak cuteness. Gets extra romantic with the added context that those necklaces are basically the same as engagement rings.

#10 - Aang finding out Katara brought him back from the dead (03x01)

Aang just looks so in awe of her in that scene, like he can barely even comprehend how someone could be so amazing. The look in his eyes, man! I can't! I CAN'T!

(And for real, how can ANYONE still have doubts that the whole "Aang needs to let go of Katar FULLY AND FOREVER, ALL DAY AND EVERYDAY otherwise the world is doomed" thing is bullshit? The show literally looked us straight in the face and said "True love/friendship saved the day because if it wasn't for it the world's last hope would be fucking dead")

#9 - Cave Of Two Lovers (02x02)

Once again I'm cheating, and once again I don't care. Katara and Aang both blushing when she suggest that they kiss, Aang trying a little too hard to act like he totally doesn't want that kiss, Katara getting offended at it, "I'm saying I'd rather kiss you than die, that's a compliment!", the light of the torches fading away as they get closer to each other, Aang looking all lovestruck after it, then them both blushing after they're out of the cave - INCREDIBLE! SHOWSTOPPING! BEAUTIFUL! ADORABLE!

#8 - Katara not wanting Aang to go into the Avatar State (02x01)

I understand why Aang going into the Avatar State to save her on this same episode gets so much attention, but this moment is criminally underrated AND what makes that other scene hit so hard.

Katara can't stand to see Aang in so much pain and rage and thus refuses to be part of that plan. She is the one putting his humanity, his feelings, and his well-being before his responsibilities as the Avatar. She'll always encourage him to do what's right and help him do what's needed to save the world - but she'd never put him in any unnecessary harm. She'd never take him granted and act like she, or anyone else, is entitled to put him through so much stress and pressure just because of his duties as the Avatar. She'd never take advantage of Aang's kindness.

When Aang went into the Avatar State, it wasn't just about the protagonist saving his love interest (which is already an epic moment) - it was a friend saving another, a survivor of genocide saing another, the hero saving an innocent person who was in harms way. And more importantly, it was someone who was constantly treated like he needed to be a soldier/weapon first, person second, saving the girl that had always been his ride-or-die from the very beginning and that had just proven yet again that she cared about HIM, not just about the Avatar and what he could do for the world.

#7 - Aang and Katara VS Pakku (01x18)

Once again, Aang and Katara showing that they both take the concept of "ride-or-die" VERY seriously. They are really excited to learn together, and Aang is so pissed off when Pakku refuses to train Katara solely because she's a girl, that he says "Fuck this guy, fuck my mission, I'm out of here." Katara, of course, then accepts dealing with that unfair situation because she knows Aang's mission is important and doesn't want to stand in the way of it, even if she obviously isn't happy about it.

Then, once Sokka gives them that idea, Aang is super eager to teach Katara everything Pakku is teaching him, because, once again, Katara's personal goal of wanting to be a badass fighter is as important to Aang as his mission to save the entire freaking world.

They're caught, everything is going to hell, and Pakku now refuses to let train either of them unless he gets an apology, and so Katara goes into fighting mode with no hesitation. Aang, the absolute sweetheart that he is, lets her know that she doesn't have to do this to get Pakku to teach him - then steps aside when she explains this is about HER, her pride and her right to knock some sense into that sour old man.

Finally, after everything is resolved, we get Pakku saying Aang should start calling her "Sifu Katara" - which leads me to:

#6 - Sifu Katara (02x09)

That. Was. So. Fucking. Cute.

Aang wants to make sure Katara knows just how much she means to him, how much he respects her as a fighter/master and we KNOW he absolutely means it, and Katara is very touched by it.

And I gotta love how comfortable they are with each other. Aang practicing waterbending and talking with her to clear his head, Katara giving him advice as to why he's struggling with earthbending AND trying to make Toph change her approach into something Katara knows works on Aang, the push and pull/ying and yang motions showing how they just click and are in harmony with each other - it isn't just AANG showing he appreciates Katara's role as his master, it's the show itself doing that.

#5 - Aang & The Painted Lady (03x03)

That boy was simping for and flirting with the Painted Lady before he even realized it was Katara, because she was a kind "spirit" that he went out of his way to mention looked REALLY pretty even though he couldn't see her face. Then, of course, he has to praise her for wanting to help the people of the village and goes on to help her blow up a whole factory.

You google the meaning of "being in love" and Aang's face is the first the thing that comes up, I swear to fucking God, I can't with this boy.

#4 - Katara threatening to end Zuko if he ever hurts Aang again (03x12)

Once again, Katara and Aang take the idea of "Ride-or-die" VERY seriously. Katara doesn't trust Zuko really changed, but she does trust Aang's judgement and knows that he has the right to choose his firebending teacher, and that they don't really have much of a choice at the moment.

But she didn't forget what Zuko nearly took away from her, and makes damn sure he knows that if he screws up again, he isn't getting a third chance.

And I gotta say, we as a fandom don't talk enough about how, much like Aang's love for his people is explicitly stated to still live on through his love for Katara, the girl he already sees as family and would eventually marry, Katara was only ever willing to kill for two people - Kya and Aang.

This is one of those moments that proof that, even if one doesn't care for the ship, NO ONE can deny just how strong their bond is and how much they mean to each other.

#3 - Finale Kiss (03x21)

Even though I think they should have officially become an item after their kiss during the invasion and that the last minute conflict of "Maybe Katara doesn't actually want to be with Aang" that we got in Ember Island Players was REALLY forced, I still love this moment.

They look so happy, so at peace. They don't even need to say anything. They just lock eyes, smile, embrace each other and kiss. It's oen of the most romantic moments not just between them, but in the whole show.

Also if anyone has a Katara doll with that dress, please mail it to me, because my inner 5-year-old cannot deal with how pretty she looked on that scene and NEEDS it to be immortalized in a doll I can put on the shelf and stare at for hours.

#2 - Aang saying Katara gives him hope (02x12)

Okay, okay, okay, OKAY, we are once again in the territory of "Even back when I didn't like the ship, I still adored this scene." It's one of the moments that I'm always super excited to reach whenever I'm watching the show yet again.

Is just so rewarding. Every single episode we are reminded that Katara has complete faith in Aang, that he gave her hope before they ever met. Yet at that moment, because of Appa's kidnaping, he can't be the Aang she knows - be that he goofy, optimistic, super affectionate friend, or the kind, super empathetic, compassionate messianic figure of the Avatar. He is too hurt and scared, so he goes from lashing out to shutting everyone off - including her. He is doing his duty, but there's little to no emotion there.

Katara keeps the team together as they cross the desert, brings Aang back to Earth when he is snapping, parts the freaking sea, and then helps bring baby Hope into the world - and thus Aang is finally Aang again, and makes sure to let his best friend know just how much she means to him.

It's a nice role-reversal, with Katara being the one put on a pedestal and Aang showing reverence. It's sweet and makes all the moments in which she shows her blind faith in him all the sweeter. It easily could have been my number one.

If it wasn't for THE Kataang moment that is:

#1 - The Dance (03x02)

How could this not be number one? It's the definition of iconic. Literally invented romance. You open up a dictionary and see a picture of this scene in the definition of "chemistry."

Katara feeling insecure because of all the attention is getting, Aang going out of his way to make sure she doesn't feel left out, the way he says "it's just you and me", the way everyone is staring at them in awe... the lighting, the music, the camera angles, the freaking choreography... their smiles, Katara blushing, the way they lock eyes, the almost kiss, Aang holding Katara as they finally stop... it's too good. Just too freaking good. 11/10, no one is doing it like them.

[tagthescullion]

A more realistic version of TSATS would have had Nico and Will having a relationship like they did in TOA, more kids being at camp (whatever happened to Harley, who was a year-rounder at eight years old? There were twenty kids last year and fifty the year before-), Nico actually thinking about Reyna joining the Hunters and his feelings about it instead of barely mentioning her at all, and Hazel finding out that Nico went to Tartarus and freaking out instead of her not even appearing once. Oh, and Hades not being behind it all, because that made no sense.

I once more start this with the disclaimer that I despise TSaTS with a burning, strong passion, so my words are as subjective as anything is ever going to be..

nico and will's relationship was a favourite of mine until the fandom turned it into something I don't particularly enjoy anymore, and the way it appears to be, TSaTS was a massive fanonisation of solangelo, meaning it was rubbish

nico should've talked to, mentioned and thought about hazel and reyna. they're --objectively-- the two people he's closest to at that point, followed at some length by the deceased jason grace.. which makes his talk with piper nonsensical (I love piper, but why would nico talk to her instead of people he actually cares about?) but no, no, reyna joining the hunters? who cares? not nico, that's for sure. nico deciding to voluntarily go to tartarus? hazel's fine I mean, what could possibly happen to her 14-15-16? brother in superhell, pfff?

hades letting nico speak to maria was off, the whole fucking point of the og PJO series was nico accepting his loved ones are dead.. rick also steps on that when nico tries to resuscitate bianca in HoO except that she's reborn (imo he wrote himself in a corner) but ALAS THAT IS NOT SO! for bianca is also present in nico's little tête-à-tête with his dead family!!!!!! (mentioned as his mother bc editing???? rick is way above editing and consistency ofc)

[dreaming-hibi]

In this rant I will—

I read something that made me think quite a lot the other day but, if you ask me what it was, well, I wouldn't be able tell you because I forgot. What I can say is that: I'm about to rant on KHR again.

Unsurprisingly, the rant is about our dear protagonist Tsuna (my love for Tsuna is both logical and personal, so let's not go there). I don't interact enough with fandom to make statements like "Most people do" and "Most people don't" — in reality, I've barely interacted with more than 5 people who know this manga in my life. Anyway, of those people, I remember some who were frustrated with the childishness and indecisiveness of the characters, especially someone like Tsuna.

Like, what?

It is only years laters that I finally have the composure to answer this claim with calmness.

"Tsuna is indecisive and childish."

First of all, how can anyone expect a 14 year old to know exactly what they want to do with their lives? Heck, there are some people that only figure out what they want in their 30s, if not later! And some others that never do and live their life trying to make every day count. How is a 14 year old, who had never been entrusted with any kind of expectation, just supposed to know?

Oh, is it because Naruto knew he wanted to be Hokage at 12 years old? Or because Deku was firm in his conviction that he wanted to be a hero at the age of 5? Or again because Edward Elric decided he was going to be a state alchemist and achieved so at the age of 12 years old?

Well, if that's the point of reference then, actually, Tsuna is the most realistic teenager I've seen in a shonen manga with fantastical elements and Amano-sensei did a wonderful job with her teenage (and child) characters. She sure as hell hasn't forgotten what it means to be 14 years old, unlike some people.

Furthermore, Tsuna is a teenager trying to tell what is very much an adult, who has shot him on more than one occasion for trying to oppose him (granted, I know Reborn did it knowing Tsuna could overcome whatever he threw at him and he seemed ready to intervene should it ever seem like Tsuna couldn't do it, it still doesn't change the fact that beginning Tsuna was actively terrified of this baby killing him on accident), that he does not want to be the boss of a mafia family he has, realistically, no obligation towards. Tsuna, at the very least, knows what he doesn't want, and he's vocal about it to Reborn... It's just that Reborn wants to hear none of it.

[Chapter 283 "Simon Middle School", Tsuna telling Reborn that he has no intention of becoming the boss of a mafia family and that he doesn't want to be involved with the mafia anymore.]

If you see Tsuna as childish for the way he keeps insisting that he doesn't want to be part of the mafia, is because you have forgotten what it's like to be 14 years old. Tsuna is not childish in his desire to not want to be involved in the mafia.

Actually, this issue lies in the reader (apart from the whole having forgotten what it feels like to be 14 years old) and in Amano-sensei's representation of the mafia. In Katekyo Hitman Reborn, we see a mafia that has been severely toned down from what it truly is. For us, this "mafia" is interesting, fascinating and, we do not see any problems with Tsuna joining it. After all, "if this is the x, then sign me the fuck up!" right?

Well, no.

Fictional mafia or not, Tsuna shouldn't be forced to join any of it when he doesn't want. Like, it seems like Tsuna is the only one seeing KHR's mafia without the rainbow-tinted glasses. I don't know how the boy does it, because we barely ever see KHR's mafia as being anywhere near as bad as the real mafia is, but Tsuna does anyway and he's right in no wanting any part of it.

I support Tsuna not becoming Vongola Decimo. But I also admit I have no idea what that boy could become if not the boss of the strongest mafia family.

We are introduced to a Tsuna who has no particular life skill, nor any particular hobbies — in fact, that's why he cannot understand Yamamoto's suicidal act in chapter 5, because he himself admits he has NOTHING he ever felt passionate about enough to take his own life.

Though Tsuna gets trained on how to fight, by the end of the manga he still has no life skills to talk about and, that's completely normal. He fought those battles because he HAD to. Those battles did nothing to enrichen his everyday skills.

Yeah, sure, he can go into Hyper Dying Will Mode, but how is HDWM gonna help him pass his algebra exam?

Tsuna needs a hobby outside of the mafia.

[supremechancellorrex]

One of the major disappointments I had with the Avatar live-action was the storyline and characterisation of Azula. Not only does the show take vital minutes that could have been spent on Katara, but Live-Action!Azula fails to feel very strong and threatening presence wise. There's a lack of mystique, mystery and reveal with her. The live-action has laid her bare a little too early for comfort in my opinion. Narratively, I think we know her *too well* now. It doesn't help she lays her feelings on her face pretty bare to see.

Where she seemed more promising in Episode 3 with her cool dispatching of rebels and plotting with Zhao, I honestly didn't really enjoy her scenes after. Also, I know this is a tall order, but I found Azula's martial arts not as strong as Zuko's actor, which is jarring for her plotline. I found her lightning reveal a little lacklustre. She's just like, wham, lightning.

Azula's Conflict

Part of Azula's original characterisation in the cartoon was she was able to keep her feelings close to her chest like a cold flame, it was smarter that way. The entire point of her characterisation is she appears the perfect royal vessel blessed with all the gifts, but she actually was hurt and mentality unstable and masking this trauma. Yet, in the live-action Azula ragefully beats and loses control in a training session fight against a servant to the point Ty Lee and Mai, her friends/underlings of a lower social station, dare to protest and physically pull her off in full view of everyone. Meanwhile, Ozai reads her like an open book for most of the season. She feels like more of an underdog, like a vicious little poodle monkey kicked every time Ozai praises Zuko, and being so obvious with her feelings in front of Mai and Ty Lee, and an entire courtyard of subjects and everyone. Apparently, Royal Family members are so much so obvious, a lowly person like Zhao thousands of miles away somehow even knows Ozai is testing her. What did she put in those silly letters? It feels like Live-Action!Azula is cottoning on a little too late on how to really play the game for someone so smart, and that would just be unacceptable in such a traditional, Imperial Confuscianist-like environment.

What Azula deals with in Season 1 of the Avatar: Live Action is a conflict Azula would have more likely had at age 10, realising a textbook answer isn't enough. By having her have this at 14, it does make her feel more slow and less of a prodigy with a strategic mind. The writers decided to do the Season 1 timeline and have something for Azula to do at the same time, but the conflict they chose for her does change her characterisation in ways so far I'm not fond of or at least confident is for the better.

Aluza, A Meaner Zuko

My problem with Azula isn't that she's "sympathetic", more she just doesn't feel like herself. She had a different way of dealing with things in the original show; she'd learned from a young age to be more generally closed off and in an imperial, authoritarian environment. In this environment, where composure is everything and every movement needs to affirm the Mandate of Heaven that is your existence and your divine right, Azula learned to restrain her self-expression where in contrast Zuko had difficulty and was punished for it. As someone who knows people in real life who are very difficult to read. Live-Action!Azula was far too obvious and readable for the characters around her at this stage, especially given the upbringing she would have had. In most of the cartoon, she does have a tighter hold on her feelings and that is more realistic due to the position she has in the culture she was born into. Although we see sparks of insecurity in the cartoon, which hint towards the original Azula's inner issues and trauma, generally she is very composed and tactical.

Trauma can often manifest in unique ways depending on the individual. People with trauma can actually be very hard to read. Similar to how an injured cat will instinctively give no sign of pain to not show a predator any sign of weakness. Zuko lashed out with his trauma, but Azula reacted in a different way in the cartoon. That was part of her characterisation. And, I'm not talking about how Azula is becoming worse and Zuko better, I'm talking about how they react to Ozai and things not going their way. In the live-action, now both just lash out, complain, get angry and have to have someone intercede. Azula is more vicious, but the reactions are more similar now than they were, and I personally feel it takes away from what were key differences between how the characters would react to problems growing up. She was a different person. Now I don't think the cartoon got it all right, I think they were clumsy with Azula's character arc at points in Book 3 especially in my opinion, but she just had more of a presence and there was a certain nuance and dynamic to her troubled and calculating personality that I feel is lacking in the live-action.

Live-Action!Azula also didn't feel very "Royal" to me in the live-action, feeling less like a girl who believes in her divine right to rule and more just a mean girl in high school. There's something often intrinsically cold and distant about people in Royal Families, their environment, the "Never Got Enough Hugs" syndrome and its mentality, even for the ones that act out. The type of people that make children march miles behind their mother's coffin in full view of thousands of faces for saving face, tradition, and duty. I'm not sure they nailed it. This Live-Action!Azula lacks a certain spark so far, and what I know of Royal Families, from the UK and Japan to the former Royal Families of China and Korea, I'm not convinced of her characterisation here as a character with a background as a princess.

Villain Crafting

Azula felt intimidating because Ozai had twisted her into what on the surface to others and even herself was a "monster". Perhaps the cartoon's mistake was not delving deeper into this characterisation more and instead focusing just on the badass spinning kick blue flames moments and smirks a bit too long, as some people didn't get Azula had a sympathetic and tragic side, but I feel the live-action's mistake is adding in details not true to Azula's character and peeling back the mystery of this character too early, because now it feels like the viewers know they know a lot, right off the bat, and storytelling wise in Season 1 it just made this Azula come across as less interesting or even authentic to me. It won't be surprising to anyone this Live-Action!Azula has a mental breakdown now, it will be predictable and more like her usual tantrums instead of a shock that shows a deeper truth.

[rocksibblingsau]

This chapter is so weird to me, but like in the best way possible. Because we're so used to seeing Barb as this older figure because they way the fic is centered around Branch's perspective and view of things, that its very easy to forget that she is only 14 years old and not like 16 to early twenties. This is one of the first times were you can look at Barb and clearly see that yes, this is a child. She is just a kid, barely even a teen, that can be just as afraid and vulnerable as Branch.

Anyways, this is probably one of my favourite chapters so far. Thank you for all the constant updates <3

Thank you! Yeah Branch sees her as very grown up and mature but she IS 14. As brave and cool as Barb is, I think realistically she would be scared of Bergens. She might have some fake bravado about it but she's smart enough to know her limits.

Thank you for reading! Everyone's reactions have been what's motivated me to stick with the fic this long!

[sinner-sunflower]

P.2 HH Lucifer-centric AU 10/?

STORY 1, PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 14.5, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22, PART 23, PART 24, PART 25, PART 26

Notes at the end!

-----------------------------------------------

Lucifer should've known that even in his sleep, his torment would not stop.

He should have been wiser, but exhaustion dulled his senses, making him lower his guard.

He thought that maybe, maybe, the universe would give me just this little moment. And at the beginning he really thought that. He felt weightless. Like he's not the Morningstar, the fallen angel, the King of Hell, the Sin of Pride, a father or a lover. Like for the first time in a millennia, he simply existed.

So forgive him for his surprise when darkness swallowed his dreams before he could savor them fully.

Roo: Hello, fallen. Been a while, hasn't it?

Lucifer: Roo.

Roo: Don't look at me like that. Our deal is still in effect, you know. I can't do anything more than this even if I wanted to.

Lucifer: You saying you want to do more then? Like harm me?

Roo: Ugh, you silly creatures, always so pessimistic. Can't someone just chill and have fun?

Lucifer: I highly doubt the root of all evil and chaos embodiment just wants to 'chill'.

Roo: Believe what you will, fallen. I am many things, but I am no liar.

Lucifer: Your sister surely is.

Roo had to laugh at that. 

Roo: Yin in every Yang or so they say.

Lucifer: What? You're telling me you have good in you?

Roo: I would think the fact that you get to keep your soul was a sign in and of itself.

Lucifer: That's less than the bare minimum.

Roo smirked and rested her head on her hand, a gesture that grated Lucifer's nerves. He couldn't help but think he should take a page from Adam's book and wipe that shit-eating grin off her face.

Roo: Had the old man never told you to not look at a gifted horse's mouth? 

Lucifer: Enough. Why are you really here?

Roo: If you must know, I merely wanted to ask how you are doing! After all, meeting The Fates must have been quite the experience.

Lucifer: You were looking?

Roo: I wanted to see if my vessel works well. It's not my fault I can see everything you see, hear every thought you think, feel every pain you wish never happened but also desire to inflict onto yourself. I wanna ask, does your pity party ever stop?

Realistically, Lucifer knows that Roo is messing with him; she was deliberately provoking him, reveling in his inner turmoil. She's luring him in, and he's taking the bait.

There's a creeping cold that's getting worse the longer they talk. He thought nothing of it at first but he's now starting to feel it under his skin.

He's well aware of the threat in front of him but doesn't mean he's not going to bite back with force.

Lucifer: I think you're forgetting who delivered the final blow in the first war. You know, the blow that led to your defeat?

Roo's nonchalant and playful facade cracked just a bit that Lucifer knows he struck a nerve.

Lucifer: Hell, shouldn't you be more thankful to me? Without my actions in offering the fruit to humanity, you wouldn't have gained the power you so desperately craved to rise again. And now, here you are, benefiting from my influence once more.

The Sin of Pride couldn't fathom where this sudden surge of confidence came from, but he refused to cower any longer. Roo had expected him to tremble in fear, to bow before her as if she were someone superior to be revered on.

He's sick and tired of everyone assuming he should be the one on his knees, begging for mercy.

Lucifer: How are you the root of all evil when I'm the one who started sin. You should be worshipping me! Now that I think about it, in some twisted way, I was your creator-

His mockery was short lived when the dreamscape glitched and suddenly it wasn't Roo in front of him; it's The Root of All Evil.

Laughter erupted from the shadowy figure, a grotesque sound reminiscent of a rabid hyena's. Refusing to be intimidated, Lucifer continues to put oil in the fire.

Lucifer: Bringing out the big guns for a little comment? Insecure much?

He's bullshitting at this point but damn him if he's going down without an ounce of victory. He also thinks he's lucky to have said as much at all.

The abrupt stop of laughter sent an involuntary shiver down his spine, and then gravity seemed to solidify around him, pressing down with an oppressive force.

Push.

Michael: All you had to do was listen.

Push.

Lilith: You're exhausting, Lucifer.

Push.

Charlie: He's defending this hotel! How come he could have faith in me but my own father can't.

Push.

Y̵̛̞̝̳̥͍̏͛͊ö̴̼̭̜̖́͗̒͝ü̴̩͚͆͑ ̵͎̉̒̄̄ả̶̭͈͍̟̳ṙ̵̡̲͙̼͎è̸̮̳̲̊͂̔̍ ̴̠͔̯̘̬̑͝s̵̜̪̗̯̚è̴͇͌̇ṅ̷̘̝̀t̶̛̹̝̄͘ẻ̶͓̱̬͔̅̉ͅn̵̥̽̋̌̓ĉ̴͜e̶̯͇̤̺̤̅̀̅d̵̝̰̬̗̋ͅ ̶̝͕̩͇̱̎̋͝͝ẗ̶̢̊͠õ̶̡̦͖͒̈́̍̍ ̸̧̏F̸̧̬̪̂̋a̸̞͈͍͇̔̓͘͜l̶̬͙̤͈̝̑̕l̵̼͂.̴̱̘̣̽̏̕͜

Lucifer screams. But instead of despair, he feels anger bubbling within him. What the hell is happening to him? He's been snapping more. Why did he snap at Michael? Why did he tell him that he can't wait for Heaven to be destroyed? He never wanted that. All he wanted was to give Eve free will. All he wanted was to love Lilith. All he wanted was for Charlie to be safe. All he wanted was for everything to STOP!

Roo: What's the matter, little devil? Never seen real evil before?

The cold is becoming unbearable now. The lake is frozen and all the greenery had been turned into crystals, consumed by the creeping frost that made them look like solid darkness.

Lucifer gritted his teeth, feeling the chill seeping into his bones, threatening to overwhelm him. He refused to give Roo the satisfaction of witnessing the King of Hell tremble; regardless if it's in fear or not.

Roo: Let me show you just how good of a person I can be. 

Then she's suddenly up on his face and brings a finger to his forehead.

Lucifer can feel Roo's corruption going further inside him and at the same time, a lot of somethings are coming out. It must be his remaining divinity because that's the only reason he can think of on why his Father's tether is screaming and clawing at him. 

He feels himself choke from everything happening all at once but he can't move. Roo has him locked in place and he never felt so helpless.

'Am I going to die here?'

No. Roo said that she won't be the one to deliver him to his demise. Nevertheless, he thinks that this is it.

Roo: Remember these words, fallen. A message from The Fates that you did not get to hear.

Charlie. He wants Charlie.

Roo: With the first soul's ascend, all began to unfold.

Tears begin to form in The King of Hell's eyes. Be it from the pain or fear, he doesn't know. 

Roo: It will end at a star's fall, as the threads have foretold.

Michael! Where is he?! He promised Samael he'll always protect him!

Roo: Trumpets will sing, as the sky recites a prayer.

'Father. Help me.'

Roo: An instrument of Heaven shall come down and be the devil's slayer.

He struggled to remain conscious; he fights to stay awake but he can't even move a finger but his efforts were in vain as he collapsed to the frozen ground, utterly drained. Through hazy vision, he can see Roo staring down at him with a gleeful smile.

Roo: See you soon, my fallen~

He wakes up to the smell of Marigolds.

-----------------------------------------------

In Nifty's voice: How was that?!!

You have no idea how long I spent making that rhyme prophecy thingy.

As always, your kind words and actions are greatly appreciated!

My DM's are always open for theories and introspections <3

[skellymom]

"Vagabonds" Chapter 14 "In Confidence"

Ongoing fanfic Hunter x Reader/Fem Reader/OC

Hunter meets a smuggler Nomaadi Star Woman with a powerful force sensitive teen who changes the trajectory of CF-99's lives...as they ALL try to escape from The Empire together.

ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜰɪᴄ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴꜱ ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ. ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ 18+ ᴅɴɪ

To read Chapter 13:

https://www.tumblr.com/skellymom/753775679134466048/vagabonds-chapter-13-precious-cargo?source=share

Word Count: 958

Background: Mad is awake, but harbors another secret. Sil befriends Echo and reveals his own dark past.

Been trying to get these chapters out quickly, but having the Writer's Block in the middle portion of this fan fic.

This was a VERY HEAVY chapter to write. It is brief in it's depiction of what happened to Sil. But, I wanted to have him and Echo discuss their shared trauma, but in a way that was not too heavy, but somewhat realistic without being graphic.

Warning: Discussion in hinted terms regarding sexual abuse. Nothing specific is mentioned.

*Since the Nomaadi are from all over the galaxy (and possibly beyond) their language is a patchwork of words from many different planets and systems. I have used two words from different Earth cultures as their language (some Nomadic people on Earth do this too) and created a pidgin language. Hopefully I have not offended anyone. Please personal message me if you want to discuss this. Thanks.

(Credit: Cool moving star dividers by @4ngelic-wh1spers )

Recap:

“Hunter, Echo and I can do some digging on our comm channels. However, before we do, I should remove both of your catheter’s.” Tech pointed toward Mad. 

“Everyone out.” Mad motioned with her hand.  

“WHAAT? Thought you were ok about ‘Body Stuff’” Wrecker sassed Mad. 

Echo shook his head, ushering Omega, Sil, and Love out of the room. 

“You REALLY wanna see Tech pull a urinary catheter out of my bladder, big boy?” Mad sassed back. 

Wrecker visibly shuddered. She got him. “Oof...no.” He left the room. 

Hunter grabbed Mad’s hand and squeezed.  

Would he and his siblings have been happier on Ord Mantell still running jobs for Cid?  

No. THIS is where WE need to be right now! 

It was an uncertain journey so far, but Hunter was willing to see it through. 

"In Confidence"

“There, all done.” Tech picked up his med kit, attempting to exit. 

“Tech?” Mad called out. 

Tech turned to face her.  She had noticed his bruised nose and eyes... 

“I'm so sorry for hurting you.” 

“Please do not fret.  I will heal quickly, as always.  Besides, I am grateful to have witnessed your Force bond with Tiggy.” 

Mad was mildly shocked.  “The Pot Roast?  The thing bred for consumption instead of intelligence???” 

“Tiggy is QUITE intelligent...in her own way.  Not EVERY life form is lucky enough to be specifically designed as genetically superior.”   

Mad noticed Tech’s slightly smug expression, then changed the subject.  “When you and Hunter are...free, I would like to go over the list of repairs to the Beldame with you.  Some upgrades, and I have ideas for...extra modifications as well.” 

“What IS the status of my ship?” 

“We were able to get life support online.  But no propulsion, shield, gunnery, sensors, communications...basically the Beldame is a livable space only, not specifically an operational starship.  Currently, the Marauder is perched atop the ‘Dame and we are hiding out in a seldom used hyperspace lane until we can get your ship back online.” 

“WE owe you and your brothers a huge debt of gratitude...and quite a few credits.”  Mad smiled.  “Chi-Miigwetch, Pal.”

(“BIG Thank you” Anishinaabe, “Friend” Romani). 

Tech silently nodded and left the aft section of the Marauder. 

Mad sighed “The explosion REALLY did a number on the ‘Dame.  Not that I’m ungrateful...but Love’s Force powers have gotten crazy strong...” 

“REALLY helpful in the moment, though” Hunter added. 

“THIS time.  Hunter, Love can barely control their abilities.  I’m concerned when the time comes, and they can’t.  Who's going to get hurt?  How long before someone figures out, we basically have a teenage Force weapon?” 

Hunter chuckled “Good luck to the Empire trying to catch your kiddo!” 

Mad silently gave Hunter a haunted look.  He picked up something deeper in her expression.  Some unspoken fear he couldn’t guess at and opened his mouth to ask... 

Mad’s belly growled LOUDLY!  “Oof” She rubbed her abdomen, changing the subject.  “Real strong hunger pains there.” 

“Been a few days since you had solid food.”  Hunter handed Mad a fresh change of clothes to dress. 

"Hungry enough to eat a Bantha!” 

Hunter didn’t push for more information.  Mad had been through enough already.  He felt assured when she was comfortable, Mad would confide her fears in him. 

Sil sipped from the handmade mug full of caf listening quietly to Echo speak.  

“Not been easy, but every day is a new opportunity for healing.  A little bit at a time.”  Echo finished his statement while putting his prosthetic leg back on. 

Since the Marauder had embarked with the Beldame, Echo and Sil had become fast friends.  Sil felt drawn to this “Machine more than man.”  Tech had introduced Echo as such, but Sil reacted by exclaiming Echo was not a droid, but in fact a heavily augmented human...it seemed that way to him.  Why couldn’t physically wounded humans receive assistance from machinery to function satisfactorily and keep their humanity?   

Sil was a psychologically wounded human and could still retain his humanity.  Although...his slavery also included being physically wounded, but not to the extent that Echo had endured.  But it was painful just the same... 

They worked side by side repairing what they could on the Beldame. Striking up random conversations, making jokes, discussing ship regs and the like.   

Tonight, Echo and Sil took time out after a day of repairs to sit and converse over cups of caf.  Hunter was with Mad.  Omega and Tech were playing the card game Balaans while Love hovered nearby watching, with Tiggy asleep in their lap. 

Eventually Sil shyly asked about Echo’s prosthetics and how he acquired them.  Echo smiled and quietly recounted his accident on Lola Sayu, then being woken up by Rex on Skako Minor. 

Sil was mortified at what was done to Echo.  How could ANYONE survive such a thing??? 

Silence between them as Sil processed everything Echo had told him. 

It was Echo’s turn.  “Care to talk about it?” Echo asked tentatively nodding to the slave collar scar burned into Sil’s neck. 

“I was kidnapped off the streets as a young boy by Zygerrian Slavers.  Then sold to man who owned an exotic meat market in The Bottoms of Coruscant.  He was evil...  Would shock me for just about anything.  Even if I was compliant.  Liked to watch me suffer while working...under him...” 

Sil took a very deep breath.  Echo could tell Sil was trying to maintain control and hold back tears. 

“Oh...kiddo...I...”  Echo struggled.  “Don’t need to know the rest if you...” 

“NO.  I NEED to get this out.”  Sil struggled.  “I don’t want my auntie to know the horrible things I had done to me.  It would break her heart.  I can talk to you...understand?” 

“Ok...” Echo waited patiently. 

“He...” One tear trailed down his cheek.  “He did THINGS to me.  Rented me out to people who would do those things too...”   

Sil put his hands up to his face in shame.   Echo could barely make out the next muffled statement from Sil. 

“I’m happy that man is dead.” 

Wrecker, who had been sitting nearby playing on a datapad, and unable to NOT hear what was being said turned to Echo with an extremely horrified expression. 

Echo met Wrecker’s expression with a mournful one. 

Sil broke into loud sobs and let the tears overtake him. 

“Does he need a hug?”  Wrecker whispered. 

Echo shook his head.  “I don't’ think he wants ANYONE to touch him right now.” 

Wrecker nodded.  “I’ll...uh...go make a fresh pot of caf.  Ok?” 

“Good idea.”  Echo replied.  “Going to be a very long night.” 

PLEASE like, comment, and/or REBLOG!

Please let me know if you wanted to be added to my taglist or removed! Thanks so much for your support!!!

To read Chapter 15 "Get In Losers"

https://www.tumblr.com/skellymom/758223309018103808/vagabonds-chapter-15-get-in-losers?source=share

[angelshizuka]

honestly… i LOVED movie!adrien. he just feels so much more /real/ than show!adrien (which i guess is the point if you weigh in senti stuff) and like… idk. he’s just a silly 14 year old boy who’s still got some residual trauma from losing his mom! maybe i’m partly projecting show!adrien onto him, but even the way he turns marinette down seemed like he genuinely felt bad for doing so.

part of me feels like show!adrien’s entire characterization is created around the basis of being a love interest for marinette, and instead in the movie we got to see him be more… realistic than that. he fights with his dad! he opens up to marinette about his mom! he has PAIN and he’s affected by it (unlike the show where it seems his mother’s disappearance has barely affected his day-to-day life even though in that universe he lost her way more recently than in the movie) and he has a hard time letting people in because of that pain (illustrated beautifully by the headphones) but he still takes the chance on his new friend group! ladybug inspires him to give the world a chance again! and when she rejects him he shuts back down, and puts the headphones back on, which again, is a very realistic response.

i think this movie would have been a solid 10/10 for me if they had cut maybe 1-2 of the songs and instead explored their lives/relationship at school a little more, so we got to see these themes a little more clearly, but i really don’t get the movie!adrien bashing like at all lol. it kinda makes me uncomfy that people are calling movie!adrien like a fuckboy incel when he’s just… a more realistic version of himself instead of this fantasy perfect boy that can do no wrong idk…

(i still love show!adrien btw i just wanted to dump this somewhere LMFAO)

Yes, yes, yes! This is exactly what I've been talking about!

I genuinely love show!Adrien, but the writing keeps fucking him over. His mother died recently (either 100 days or weeks before the 100th episode, I can't remember which one it was, but even 100 weeks is barely 2 years), yet he acts like it barely affects him at all, not even in private (because I totally understand acting fine around other people, that's how a lot of people grief).

Meanwhile with movie!Adrien we actually SEE the affects of his grief and it's a major part of his arc and the way he behaves throughout the movie. But godforbid a teenage boy griefing his dead mother and dealing with a neglectful father isn't a "perfect sunshine boy" who isn't allowed to grief (by the narrative).

And yeah, I genuinely love the movie, but even I can acknowledge Adrien needed 1 or 2 more scenes for his arc to wrap up better (but even with that it's miles better than the show and THAT is the problem, that even a movie with problems still did it better by a landslide).

Though I love both Adriens, the core difference is how I genuinely love the actual on screen movie!Adrien, while with show!Adrien I love the potential and the few good moments that shine through the bullshit, but they become rarer with every season.

Like, the whole reason I love show!Adrien is BECAUSE he can be a little shit just as much as movie!Adrien, and one of the reasons I hate his writing in recent seasons is BECAUSE they've been forcing him into the "perfect sunshine boy" role that people have been blindly buying into.

Movie!Adrien is imperfect, makes mistakes, acts irrational, is allowed to have his own emotions,, isn't always the "oh, so perfect husband material", he's his own person first and love interest second, and THAT is why I love him.

[sunriseverse]

What are you uh...what are you salty about? (I'm nosy as hell, give me the tea)

okay SO. disclaimer before i start: if anyone seeing this likes the youtuber mentioned, understand i am not calling her a bad person; i have some very specific umbrage with her, and i will detail why. you don't have to agree with me, but if you, in any way, inform this youtuber of this post and what i'm saying, you will be blocked, because this is meant to be on my personal blog only and a severe violation of my boundaries to tell her about this.

let's begin, shall we? (below the cut, since this got a bit long; my apologies.)

for context, since i started watching zmyx, i have been periodically checking youtube for amvs of the show so i can add them to my playlist. while doing so, i stumbled across this video by AvenueX. i had watched a video by her previously on the show under the skin, and mostly enjoyed it. i love hearing people react to batshit cdrama, well, drama, and "this show was up for bare hours before being taken down" definitely counts as something i like hearing reactions to.

i cannot directly upload the clip into this post, but i'll put the subtitles in for the relevant section, which begins at the 12:25 mark and ends at 14:59.

AX: Basically, there is a BL drama that was made quite a few years ago and hasn't come out like all the BL dramas, Zhiming Youxi. It's based on a novel called Wanghuatong [sic] and is a clear BL drama. The platform was iQiyi, and they cast Huang Junjie and Xia Zhiguang. These two guys have been multiple other stuff ever since then, and if you watch a lot of Chinese dramas, you probably have an impression of who they are. Neither of them are considered to be good actors, very young, and not really coming from professional sort of trained actor background[...]I'm not so interested in the story to start with and not interested in these two actors either, because BL dramas is hard to do well; you have to be good actors to pull it off, and you actually have to know what type of acting you need to be doing. You're not actually playing realistic gay people, you're playing imagined version of [here she makes a sound i can only transcribe as the auditory equivalent of tilting your hand back and forth], that whole complicated psychological thing on the back end, and if you're not clever and experienced enough actor you actually easily make a mess. Based on the leaked out footage I see on the internet, it's embarrassing, in terms of the acting, and they stole the most important line from Word of Honor, which is 'there's light on you and I want to grab it and take a look'. Every BL drama has a classic line[...]and this drama shamelessly took a completely, and that part of the video is online. I've watched it, and I'm like, 'oh my god, oh my god, just because you're another BL doesn't qualify you for stealing literally the line from another BL drama[...]just because of that I'm like, oh, okay, now I can make fun with other people together on this drama being living [sic] on the internet for like, what, three-four hours[...]it's a good thing this drama is buried now, and please don't show up again. I don't want to see it. It's embarrassing, it's embarrassing, okay.

bolding mine; these are the portions i have umbrage with.

let's go through the points she makes, shall we?

this show is "embarrassing", in terms of acting; presumably, this is connected to the earlier line about the actors not being known as "good actors", and not having professional acting backgrounds.

it stole a line from shl.

she thinks this drama deserves to be made fun of for "being embarrassing" because, presumably, the actors don't play bl roles the way she thinks they should, and "make a mess of it".

i must reiterate: she can have these opinions. these are opinions she is entitled to. i disagree with them, but i respect her right to have them. however, because i also have the right to my own opinion, i am allowed to be pissed about these opinions she has.

i will go through a point by point breakdown of my responses and thoughts on each point.

i think it's really stupid to judge an actor based simply on them having a professional background or not. when it comes down to it, the most important thing for actors, especially co-leads, in a show, is their ability to do their job and create believable dynamics with their co-actors. in my opinion, xia zhiguang and huang junjie do this very well in zmyx. their dynamic feels natural and realistic to me, and, more importantly than that, it compels me. i don't say this as a "fan" of either actor; it was a nice bonus to me that hjj had also played another character i like, but even if he hadn't, i would be judging this performance as lin qiushi based on its own merits. i have never seen xzg in anything, and again, i am judging his acting in this show on its own merits. also, i should add there's something hilarious about her holding up shl as a "good" bl, when you could argue that those leads aren't "good" actors, either. i mean, look at advancing bravely! or, maybe, i don't know, it's possible for actors to improve over time and do better in certain projects than others? and someone doesn't have to be the "best" in all areas of their field, just the right choice for the role they're playing??

this is just stupid, in my opinion. the line is not stolen; it is altered and becomes its own line in zmyx. in shl, the line is, as she says, "there's light on you and i want to grab it and take a look". in zmyx, the line is "there's a light on you that i don't see on others". this is, at most, a reference—and zmyx isn't the only bl that references other media! this is a silly, petty argument, in my opinion, and frankly annoying as hell. if it were a crime to reference any other media in the same genre as the media doing the referencing, we'd miss out on so much. to me, this reference doesn't read as an appropriation, but as a nod of appreciation to another bl which was heavily censored. also, if her claims are anything to go by, and zmyx did film "years ago", it's possible that, actually, zmyx used the line before shl did. even if that isn't the case, who fucking cares? genuinely, i think this is a stupid point and i hate it.

she thinks the actors made a mess of the show by not playing the roles in the specific way bl roles are "meant" to be played. we could spend years arguing about the "right" way to play a bl role, but to me, it sounds like she has a very specific idea of the roles bl actors must fit into and fulfil—specifically, that they must play an exaggerated, unrealistic mimicry of gay male relationships, or else it's a "bad" bl. i don't know AvenueX's sexuality, but as a person of the homosexual persuasion myself, if not one attracted to men, i personally don't like exaggerated mimicries of gay relationships, and i would wager a guess that many gay and bisexual men are probably in this same boat. when i watch a bl show, i prefer that the dynamics are driven not by the idea of what gay people should act like, but by 1. the plot, 2. their own characterisations and character motives, and 3. their relationships and dynamics with each other. in this regard, while zmyx isn't a "good bl", i think it's a good depiction of the relationship between two characters. i don't say this to be holier-than-thou, or to claim i'm somehow "better" than other people who do like specific exaggerated tropes in bl; i say this because i feel like AvenueX entirely disregards the possibility that the thing that she doesn't like about zmyx are things that other people will.

(additionally, while she never says this, i get the impression that one of the things she doesn't like is that the chemistry between the characters isn't the "typical" bl chemistry. i, frankly, don't give a fuck. i think the leads have fantastic chemistry, and it annoys me that she thinks they "made a mess" just because they don't fit the idea she has for what a bl "should" look like. i, for one, think it's a good thing that we're moving away from caricatured depictions of gay people in media, especially danmei and dangai. myself and other asian gay people, especially east asian gay people, have pointed out how harmful caricatured versions of gay asian characters are.)

(also, as an unrelated, and petty aside, if i remember correctly, she's a british film school grad, and not to be judgemental, but, yeah, i can fucking see it.)

so, yeah. that's my two fen and indignance on this. but, hey, what do i know, i'm just some random tumblr user ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[gainesha]

BSG rewatch notes, cont'd and ended (spoilers, obviously):

it was so nice to watch the whole thing again, once again being reminded why I fell in love with these characters

the second half of Season 4 is much stronger overall as the first one, but the Tigh-Six baby plotline is awful. dumb and ludicrous. gave lots of fantastic acting moments for Hogan and Helfer, at least

Michael Nankin was the GOAT for directing Sometimes a Great Notion

I had loved the piano man story from Someone to Watch Over Me, so I was looking forward to rewatch that, but I completely forgot that the other main plot of the episode is going to be Boomer kidnapping Hera, and jfc, the locker room sequence with Helo and Boomer as Athena and Athena watching them is probably the most horrifying scene of the whole show, genuinely disturbing

I really like the finale. the flashback structure works very well for showing us how far all these characters came, and also crystallizing their story arcs, the stakes of their present-day choices. the last mission is intense and satisfying. the big showdown between Cavil and the Final Five / colonials and the Opera House reveal is a bit bumpy, but I still love the anticlimax of Cavil just saying ah fuck this shit. the ending always made emotional sense for me, and because the emotional farewell was the more important expectation for me (rather than getting a wholly satisfying mythology and precisely worked out plot machinery), and I feel good about the exodus part, too, I can more easily let go of my quibbles of explaining how the people of the fleet actually went along with throwing all their technology into the sun and going into the wild which would realistically mean quite a low life expectancy for them - like, I would not last outside modern civilization at all, but considering the rate with which we have been destroying our planet in the years since the show ended, their choice to have a clean slate is all the more wishful and heartfelt. (also a nice sentiment to forego colonizing the natives of Earth). Kara's "poof" is jarring, but I find her narrative arc complete and wonderful. I don't need to know exactly what she was after she returned from Earth-1. I even didn't mind the epilogue! like, the dancing robots would probably be AI if they remade the show today, but otherwise, the all of this has happened before... message of the show, with all its cheesy directness, still stands. except maybe it's more difficult to share HeadSix's optimistic prognosis

"You know, I know about farming" is the best line reading of the whole show

I wish we got at least one more Leoben-Kara scene after the one in Sometimes a Great Notion. that was a huge turning point in their relationship, but it should have been followed up, and I am sure it would have if not for the unavailability of Callum Keith Rennie. that is the only part of the show that feels incomplete.

I was ranking all the episodes for myself alongside the rewatch, so here's my bottom 5 and my top 10. I still need to rewatch The Plan, which in my memory is barely more than a glorified clipshow with some nice acting, so that could possibly be in the bottom five as well. and yes, that is a 7-parter in the second place, sue me.

Black Market (2x14)

The Woman King (3x14)

Hero (3x08)

Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down (1x09)

Deadlock (4x16)

10. The Passage (3x10) 9. Someone to Watch Over Me (4x17) 8. Downloaded (2x18) 7. Pegasus (2x10) 6. The Oath / Blood on the Scales (4x13-14) 5. 33 (1x01) 4. Scar (2x15) 3. Unfinished Business (3x09) - non-extended version 2. New Caprica arc: Lay Your Burdens Down 1-2., Occupation, Precipice, Exodus 1-2., Collaborators (2x19-3x05) 1. Maelstrom (3x17)

[bigsoftmarshmallow]

You know, I’m legitimately curious. What did OoT (pre-timeskip) & WW plan to do with their Links & Zeldas?

They were kiddos. Like... pre-timeskip OoT Link was 8 bare minimum/10-12 max & WW Link was 12-13, maybe 14 if I stretch it a bit.

What did they plan to do? Just kill a couple of kids?

Well...

Windwaker straight up punched a child, and Ocarina used so many death traps to keep people away or dead....

Windwaker pulled out duel swords to cut through Link, and Ocarina used magic when chasing after Zelda, to hit Link...

Either they were going to maim him to prevent future issues, or death, kinda.

Killing/Maiming Link I could see, but Zelda... the Goddess bloodline? Prisoner or brainwashing, me thinks. Something Demise in him would keep her alive for spoils.

HOLY MOLY CHAT KEPT IT TO 2 GANONDORFS... AND DEMISE DIDNT SNEAK IN. I'm almost sad.

**********************************************************************

Ganondorf is a complex villain in The Legend of Zelda series, and his plans for Link and Zelda vary based on the specific game, but generally, his intentions are tied to his lust for power and control over the world. Let's break down his possible intentions in both Ocarina of Time and The Wind Waker.

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf (Pre-Timeskip)

Link: Ganondorf likely saw young Link as an insignificant threat at first. Before the timeskip, Link was a child, and Ganondorf probably didn't consider him a serious obstacle. However, once Link starts gathering the Spiritual Stones and accessing the Temple of Time, Ganondorf might begin to see him as a potential threat. But since Link was so young, Ganondorf might have considered capturing or killing him if he became too much of a nuisance. That said, Ganondorf was more focused on gaining the Triforce and ruling Hyrule than dealing with a child.

Zelda: Young Zelda, being a princess and the holder of the Triforce of Wisdom, would have been a valuable asset to Ganondorf. If he could capture her, he might try to manipulate or use her to gain access to the Triforce, using her as a bargaining chip or keeping her as a hostage to ensure his control over the kingdom. Given her young age, he might have planned to brainwash or control her, ensuring her loyalty or at least keeping her out of the way while he consolidated his power.

The Wind Waker Ganondorf

Link: In The Wind Waker, Ganondorf is more calculated and patient, having been through his defeat in Ocarina of Time. He likely recognizes Link's potential threat, especially once it's clear that this new Link has the Triforce of Courage. Ganondorf might have planned to capture or kill Link to prevent him from becoming a problem, but he might also have been curious to see how Link would develop, potentially seeing him as a means to an end in gaining the full Triforce.

Zelda (Tetra): By the time Ganondorf encounters Zelda in The Wind Waker, she is already Tetra, a capable pirate captain. Ganondorf might have initially intended to use her to locate the Triforce of Wisdom, similar to how he sought the Triforce in Ocarina of Time. Once he knew who she really was, capturing her would have been a priority to complete his control over the Triforce. Since Zelda is older and more aware of her heritage, Ganondorf might have planned to use her more directly as a pawn in his schemes.

Realistic/Dark Interpretation

If we're looking at a darker, more realistic scenario:

Link: Ganondorf might have seen Link as a potential future adversary, especially after recognizing the boy's courage and abilities. If Ganondorf wanted to be thorough, he might have considered killing Link to eliminate any future threats, though in a darker twist, he could also try to corrupt or enslave him, using him as a pawn or tool.

Zelda: Given her lineage and importance in the balance of power, a darker Ganondorf might have planned to imprison Zelda, brainwash her, or even use her in some kind of ritualistic way to ensure his dominance over Hyrule. In a very dark interpretation, he might have considered forcing her into a political or even literal marriage to solidify his rule, though such ideas are more disturbing and speculative.

Overall, Ganondorf’s plans for both Link and Zelda would have been centered around maintaining his control over Hyrule and eliminating any threats to his power, using whatever means necessary, even if those means were cruel or ruthless.

[prongsfish]

thank you @fandom-trash-goblin for the tag!!

1. Are you named after anyone? nope :)

2. When was the last time you cried? i'm not sure actually, but definitely within the last 24h. i cry very easily

3. Do you have kids? noooo. i'd say i'm too young but actually i'm not all that far off from how old my mum was jeez... i don't exactly plan on following her lead in that though, she was quite young and atm i don't ever plan on having kids. i don't think i'd be a very good parent and i don't think i'll ever be ready to make a commitment that big.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? i do sometimes but i'm not a very dry type of sarcastic, i usually over-exaggerate to extremes

5. What sports do you play/have you played? i played netball as a kid but i'm not very sporty... i also played a bit of volleyball in hs

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people? i'm not sure honestly. just, their appearance i guess? i have a bad habit of judging people very quickly based on their appearance and other similarly shallow factors, so i guess the first thing i "notice" is just whatever category i put them in inside of my head

7. Scary movies or happy endings? these are two entirely seperate things, but in general my favourite movies have ambiguous or bittersweet endings so probably scary movies? i don't watch a lot of horror because i prioritise an impactful story over anything else and i don't like realistic scary stories, but i like general scary atmospheres and some of my favourite pieces of media are horror (donnie darko, the haunting of hill house)

8. Any special talents? not really? idk, there are things i'm good at, but not any interesting talents that come to mind

9. Where were you born? australia. that's the most specific you're getting sorry

10. What are your hobbies? doomscrolling, listening to pretentious music, consuming + talking about media, reading/writing fanfic, drawing, and... not much else really lol. i don't do much, and there are more things i'd like to do but i barely have time to do the hobbies i already have lmao. maybe someday i'll finally learn guitar...

11. Do you have any pets? none of my own but sue me i still think of the family pets as my pets, so two dogs and three cats :)

12. All-time fave piece of media? this is an insane question but okay uhh. i seriously don't know if i can choose... i think i have to say the social network, it's my favourite movie. normal people by sally rooney is close behind (the book, i haven't seen the show yet)

13. Fave subject in school? i pretty much hated everything until i understood what was going on and then i loved it until i didn't again, rinse and repeat. but probably economics or english lit!

14. Dream job? realistically, i'm on track to becoming something in finance, probably a financial advisor or an accountant of some kind. that's kind of my "dream" field because i've been set on it since i was like 13/14, and i enjoy it! but it's definitely a compromise between enjoyment and money. for a real dream job? if i had my way i'd be a uhh professional analytical thought haver. thesis statement writer, perhaps. unfortunately it seems like there is no demand for that kind of career so i will just stick with finance LMAO

15. Eye colour? brown

no pressure tags: @crackeds0b @xeme-starx @sapphos-queer-kid