#rowan seemed so much older when we were kids

[cherrysnax]

oh yeah we were also wondering why we flock to media with dead kids that haunt the narrative both figuratively and literally and uh :) yeah we know why

[strangersteddierthings]

Writing prompt from this list, requested by @luciana-rowan. #60. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to seduce me." with Steve seducing Eddie with dnd.

This was supposed to be like 1.2k tops however you activated my secret trap card, which is DnD.

-

“Okay, that’s gotta be all there is, right?” Robin asks as she flips through the book again, pausing to flip back and forth between two pages, eyes narrowed like these pages have offended her personally. She’s leaning against the customer side of the counter at Family Video, and Steve is on the other so they can be facing each other.

Steve is double checking all the notes they’ve written out on notebook paper, Robin’s neat print mixed with Steve’s quick scratchy penmanship. They’ve finally condensed the contents (pages and pages of contents) into easier to look through notes and once they close Family Video, Nancy and Jonathan are going to join them at Steve’s and help him and Robin organize the notes in a way that will flow and be easier to follow.

Nancy because she’s good at the organization part, and Jonathan because he’s the only one of them that’s ever even played Dungeons and Dragons, even if it was only twice (he’s a good older brother, after all).

“Jesus Christ, I hope that’s all,” Steve slides the notebook across the counter and offers up a hand for the Dungeons and Dragons book. They swap, to double check that neither has overlooked anything.

“You know,” Robin says, “this is a lot of effort for one game. Do those kids really have all this memorized?”

“Seems like it,” Steve groans, running a hand through his hair. “That’s why I need the cheat sheet. I can’t be holding up their game for twenty minutes just to look up if something is allowed or not.”

Robin looks across the counter and grins at him. “I think it’s so sweet that you’re finally gonna agree to play. Going to this much effort for it, though... You might make Dustin cry.”

“Well, that’s the goal now,” Steve laughs. “Dustin cries or I’m flipping the table.”

“Well, now I want to be there. Either would be great to witness!”

“It’s not too late to make you a character,” Steve says, aiming for nonchalance and knowing that he might have hit the mark for anyone else, but this is Robin, and she’s always seen right through him. She was the one he ranted to this last time Dustin had asked (read: begged) Steve to join a game, the time that worked because Steve could no longer think of reasons to say no. He had said no, though, to Dustin’s face, but once he got home, he scooped up Eddie’s damn Dungeons and Dragons player handbook. Then called and recruited Robin to help.

Robin’s smile softens into something less teasing. “I can join, if it’ll make this less awkward for you.”

Steve’s surprised by her answer. “Oh. You’d- really?”

Robin shrugs. “Yeah, dingus. You might have had a long-standing weird vendetta about being asked to play but. Well, no one’s ever asked me before, so I guess I never had to think about if I would or not. It’s like you said on the phone ‘it might be nice to just to fight imaginary monsters for once’.”

“Our characters could be twins.”

Robin grins but before she can respond the ding of the door chimes. Steve swipes his hands across the counter, causing the book, notebook, and pencils to clatter behind the counter out of view. Back to work.

-

It all started when Dustin asked him to stay for a game months ago. It was the third Dungeons and Dragons game he’d dropped him off at after they’d survived Hell for the fourth (hopefully final) time.

“We play the game, but it’s also a time to like, catch up and chat,” Dustin said, all but pouting at Steve.

Steve had put his car in park and shut off the engine. “If Wheeler’s basement still smells, I’m leaving.”

“Yes!” Dustin cheered.

So, Steve followed Dustin into the Wheelers’ house, called a hello to Karen Wheeler, and made his way to the basement. There had been several startled looks in Steve’s direction, but he’d just walked past the table and plopped onto the end couch beside El, like it was something he did every day. Eddie, Will, Lucas, Erica, and Mike were already sitting at the table, using whatever they could find as chairs. Dustin and he were the last ones to arrive it seems.

El smiled up at him. “Hi Steve. It is nice to have company. I have been watching by myself, since Max can’t get down the stairs yet.”

Well, fuck. Now he’s got to walk Dustin in every time in case El’s in the basement, all lonely on the couch, watching her boyfriend play make believe. “Happy to keep you company, El. You have any idea what’s happening here?”

“I have an understanding of the story, yes,” El nodded and slid across the couch to be close enough to whisper to Steve. She filled him in on what she knew, which is not much because it was a new campaign, but she had sat with Mike and Will when they made their new characters and had been to the two previous games.

When the game got going, Steve watched as El leaned forward on the couch, elbows on her knees and chin in her hands. She had seemed raptured with the story, so Steve started to listen in, too. Dustin must have done a shit job at explaining how this game was played these last years, because as he had watched it progress it seemed more enjoyable than it had sounded when described.

More than that, Steve watched as the stress of real life melted away from the kids and Eddie. They were no longer a group of outcasts who had gone through Hell and barely survived. They were a group of friends having fun in a way Steve couldn’t remember experiencing since he had been in elementary school.

It was two more games and one pool party at his own house later before Steve got the idea to offer his dining room up for the game. Specifically, because at the pool party he saw Max sitting in his living room and did a double take at her, the pieces slotting together in his mind. Max couldn’t manage the steep stairs at the Wheelers house, but everything she needed to get to at Steve’s house was ground level – kitchen, bathroom, living room, dining table.

Next session before everyone scattered to the wind, Steve had said, “Hey, what do you say about moving this game to my house?”

Everyone sitting at the table whipped around to stare at him, mouths open and everything.

“What? My house doesn’t smell like armpit and, uhh, Max could come hang out again,” Steve shrugged and was almost mowed over by how quickly El threw herself on him, wrapping his waist in a hug.

“Yes! Yes!” She answered for everyone.

The next game was moved to Steve’s house. He’d rotated the couch so it would face the dining room table so Max, El, and he could sit comfortably and had even bought a bunch of snacks and soda.

Eddie had been the first person to show up. It had taken him four trips back and forth from his van to the dining room to unload everything he’d brought.

Steve eyes it all critically. “I haven’t seen you use half this shit when you play at Wheelers, yet to lug it back and forth. Do you really need it?”

Eddie shrugged, “Who knows? Better to have it and not need it or whatever.”

 “You load and unload all this shit every game?”

“Yeah. Wheeler helps usually but he isn’t here so….”

“If you had asked, I’d of helped,” Steve said. “I didn’t know you would need it, or if you’d want it.”

“Oh.”

Steve’s not sure what to think of Eddie sometimes. They’re friends now, or at least friend-adjacent. Well, it didn’t used to feel like ‘friend-adjacent’ until Steve started to sit in on the Dungeons and Dragons games. He got to see a freer side of Eddie, then. One that smiled and laughed a bit more than Steve ever saw. It’s fine. Steve’s fine. He’s not- he is not hurt that Eddie hides this part of himself from Steve.

Besides, Steve knows he’s the problem. Because Eddie doesn’t have this problem with Robin, or Nancy, or Jonathan. He’s seen Eddie relaxed and chill when they hang out, so long as Steve keeps his distance. And even if he hadn’t been sure that he was the issue before, he was after the first time they made eye contact during a game (accidentally) and he watched Eddie reigning himself in. Made himself smaller right before his eyes. Steve doesn’t understand why but he does his best to give Eddie space.

He thinks, maybe, that he makes Eddie uncomfortable on some level. He doesn’t know how, or why, or if he can change it.

Anyway, the next few games after that Steve helped Eddie unload and reload his van until he finally offered for Eddie to just keep the things he didn’t need at his house.

“If you don’t, y’know, use all of this to actually plan each session, you can just keep it here,” Steve said as they cleaned up, Max, Lucas, Erica, and Dustin helping, since Eddie had offered to pick them up and drop them off this time.

Eddie paused in his gathering of papers to study Steve before saying, “You sure?”

“Yeah. It’s not like I use the dining table unless you guys are here. So, just take what you use and leave the rest.”

Eddie took the Dungeon Master book but left his copy of the players handbook.

-

And those series of events have led to this Thursday night, with Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, and himself sitting at his dining room table, making a character sheet for Robin, and polishing up the one Steve had already made, because Steve isn’t embarrassed about asking for help these days. Jonathan even brought him the set of dice Will had given him when he’d played.

Robin’s not going to join until the next game, but she is going to come watch. Jonathan had explained that adding one extra character would be easy to accommodate but adding two was harder.

“So, if you like the game and want to continue, talk to Eddie about finding a good way for Robin to join,” Jonathan says, pushing the finalized ‘cheat’ sheet and character back to Steve. “If you don’t like playing, she can just replace you next game.”

“Dustin’s going to lose his mind tomorrow,” Steve laughs, having found that the papers look good, and he should be ready to go.

“I think we’re all sticking around to see it,” Nancy says. She’s volunteered to bring Mike, Lucas, Erica, and Dustin tomorrow night, and Jonathan is bringing Max and Robin when he brings El and Will.

“Hey guys, thanks for this,” Steve says when they clean up and everyone gathers to head out.

“Anytime, man,” Jonathan nods to him as Nancy gives him a quick side hug. Robin gives him a hug that lasts far longer before following them out the door. Steve had asked if she wanted to stay over but her parents are expecting her home tonight.

Once Steve is alone, he heads to the phone and dials Eddie’s number.

Three rings and, “Wayne speaking.”

“Hi Wayne, it’s Steve. Uh, Steve Harrington,” Steve says.

Wayne doesn’t chuckle into the phone, because Steve’s not certain he can chuckle, but he’s definitely amused when he says, “well, Steve Harrington, Eddie’s not home. I can leave a note for him to call you back. I don’t know when he’ll be here.”

“Oh, a note’s fine. I’m usually up late anyway.”

-

It’s a little past eleven when his phone rings. Steve is half asleep on the couch, but the ringing wakes him right up. And if he trips over his own feet on the way to the phone, there’s no witnesses so it didn’t really happen, did it? “Eddie?”

A soft laugh on the other end of the line, “it’s like you were expecting me, Harrington.”

“I was. Or, uh, I was hoping you’d call any way, not expecting because that feels like… loaded somehow.”

Silence, then, “so what can I do for you?”

“Could you, um, come over early tomorrow? Like thirty minutes sooner could work. An hour would be better, though,” Steve looks down and realizes he’s twirly the phone cord around his finger. He stills his hand and yanks it away from the cord, tucking his fist to his chest to keep it in check.

“Oh, I know what you want,” Eddie’s voice says, suggestive in a way Steve can’t decipher, “Yeah, I can come over an hour sooner.”

He’s been caught before he can even surprise anyone, he realizes. That’s the suggestive tone. Eddie knows. And if Eddie knows what he wants, there’s no way Dustin doesn’t already suspect. Ah well. Surprise ruined but it’ll still be fun for the kids. He hopes. Steve puts a smile on his face so he won’t sound upset with himself when he says, “thanks man. I appreciate it. See ya tomorrow.”

-

Eddie arrives a little more than an hour early but Steve’s not going to complain. He’d been pacing in the kitchen near the front window, so he watched as Eddie pulled up. He has the front door open before Eddie is halfway to the door.

“Someone’s excited,” Eddie wiggles his eyebrows at him as he passes, moving to the dining room to deposit his armful of stuff on the table.

“Nervous, actually,” Steve says, shutting the door and turning to follow. He almost runs into Eddie when he gets to the turn that leads into the kitchen, and dining room beyond it. “Oh, hi. Thought you were at the table.”

Eddie looks confused. “I gotta go grab the lunchbox. Wait- did you say nervous?”

“What do you need your lunchbox for?”

They stand in the kitchen entrance, just kinda blinking at each other for a moment before Eddie says, in a very confused, slow voice, “maaaaybe I don’t know why I’m here early. What did you want?”

Steve heads to the dining room, motioning for Eddie to follow. He pulls out two chairs next to each other, sliding into one and waiting for Eddie to sit in his. Steve reached across the table, to the player’s handbook and the notebook under it, dragging them closer. He turns to be facing Eddie, sitting sideways in his chair now. “I wanted to see if it was okay for another person to join the game. Today.”

Eddie’s eyebrows get lost behind his bangs with how high he raises them. “What? Who do you know that wants to play?”

“Uh, me,” Steve says, pulling the notebook out from under the handbook, taking out his character sheet and flipping the notebook open to the end of his notes, where he’d taken the time to write out some bullet points with ideas for his character backstory. Then he fishes out the dice from his pocket and deposits them on the table.

Eddie is deathly still and absolutely silent. The only movement is his eyes, which flick between the dice, the pages, and Steve’s face. He’s quiet so long that Steve is worried he made a mistake.

“Or, uh, if you’d rather I not- sorry, I just- Dustin tries to invite me all the time so I thought it would be okay,” Steve says, moving to close the notebook. That’s when Eddie comes back to life, his hand flying out to catch Steve’s, halting his hand.

“No! No, of course it’s fine. I’m just- surprised,” Eddie says, slowly, “you’ve been so against it, very vocally, so I’m just surprised.”

“Yeah. I was kind of an asshole about it all, wasn’t I? But when I think about it, like really think about it, I don’t know why I was against even trying it, y’know? Leftover shit from high school, I think. But I’m not that person anymore, so…” Steve shrugs with one shoulder, not sure why he’s telling Eddie these things. They don’t talk like this, usually. Steve finds he wants to, though. “Plus, watching the games, it looks like you guys have fun. Like, real, forget about your day kinda fun. Besides, Erica enjoys it, and she’s the coolest out of all of us. If Erica likes it, it can’t be just a nerd game.”

Eddie laughs and Steve gets to see that carefree smile Eddie seems to reserve for the kids. “Can’t argue with that. Erica is the coolest of this lot.”

“So, here’s what I was thinking,” Steve says, pulling the notebook between them to discuss the ideas Robin and he had come up with. He was going to play a fighter, so he didn’t have to worry about memorizing spells. If Eddie’ll let Robin join, he’d like for them to be twins, or siblings of some sort at least. Eddie nods, jumps on that instantly. Offers for them to have been separated on accident, so they could work on adding Robin more naturally later, with their two characters having been looking for each other this whole time.

Before Steve even realizes it, he’s been word vomiting for far too long about his character’s backstory and why he’d want to join the Party and Eddie has been silent the entire time, just listening to him, a soft smile on his face. “So, that’s what I got for now.”

Eddie let’s out a whistle and says, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”

Steve’s brain skips, or freezes, or something, because it just replays that whistle and those words for a few second in his mind before it helpfully supplies the thoughts ‘yes’ and ‘I didn’t know I could seduce you’. He’s just had an epiphany. Unfortunately, his mouth is still working while his brain does this, so it says, “are you feeling seduced, Eds?”

“AHAHA!” Eddie lets out a laugh that is more a bark before he stands up quickly, the chair falling backwards because he hadn’t bothered to scoot the chair back to give him room to stand. “Funny. Dustin’s right, you’re hilarious. I need a cigarette,” and then he all but runs out the front door.

Steve just watches him go before picking up the fallen chair. He can’t wait for Robin to get here. He needs to talk to her.

-

When Eddie comes back in, it’s with Robin, Jonathan, Max, El, and Will. Steve slaps his notebook shut quickly and hopes that Will didn’t notice it. Eddie is talking animatedly with Will upon entry, though, so he seems safe. Robin fast walks to the table and scoops Steve’s dice and shoves them in her pocket, because Will will recognize them if they stay out.

Steve stands, notebook in hand, and grabs Robin’s wrist with his free hand and drags her out back. He makes sure the slide-glass door is closed firmly and leads her around to the other side of the pool. He doesn’t want any eavesdroppers.

“Robin. Ok, so you remember by sexuality crisis last year?”

“Of course, Michael J Fox in Teen Wolf got you hot under the collar,” Robin says, “how could I forget? You cried about it.”

“You cried about yours, too! I just wasn’t there for it.”

“Not mocking!” Robin holds up her hands in defense, “just saying.”

“Robin. I think I like Eddie.”

“Oh!” her eyes go wide, and her mouth stays in a little ‘o’ shape for a moment. Steve stands there, letting her process. “Oh. Ooohhhhhh. That- that makes sense in my mind in a way I cannot put into words. Of course, it’d be Eddie Munson -the exact opposite of Michael J Fox, by the way- to also get you bothered. Why didn’t I pick up on that? How did I not notice this?”

“Because, despite our best efforts, we have yet to successfully combine,” Steve says, linking his fingers the way Robin had that day in Family Video before unlinking them to flip a hand back and forth between them. “We do not have time for you to have a crisis about it because I am having a crisis about it, and one of us needs to be level-headed.”

“Right,” she sobers instantly. “Right. We cannot spiral together. You first, I’ll wait my turn. So, you like Eddie. Enough to…. Want to do something about it?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, that was a quick answer. You… you really like him. Give me the details. What am I working with here.”

Steve thinks about it. “When he held a broken bottle to my neck, I was terrified. And a little aroused.” Robin says ew. “I’ve thought he was hot since then. But… when he came to at the hospital, all high on the medicine. He’d smiled softly at me and the first thing he said to me was glad you’re here, big boy. I think the actual crush started then.”

“Make sense, tracks, what with your hero complex and praise kink,” Robin nods and paces before turning back to him. “And the realization?”

He can’t argue the hero complex and praise kink thing, because they both know that would be a lie, so he answers, “When I was done rambling about my character idea, he whistled and said If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me and my first thought was yes.”

Robin’s eyes light up before she starts marching in a small circle around him as she thinks out loud. “Fuck, Steve, you really don’t do anything halfway. Alright. So, you want to do something about this, but you have to decide what you want to do. Because you are my soulmate and I want you happy, but like Eddie is also my friend and if you are experimenting… Just. You have to be sure.”

“I’m sure.”

She stops her circling to squint at him and read his mind, he supposes, because her face lights up in delight. “Oh shit! It’s not sexy thoughts! You want to like, hold his hand and cuddle on the couch, and like, cook dinner together and serve him breakfast in bed and bicker about whose turn it is to pick up Dustin from school!”

“Jesus Robin, can you not shout that! We are out here, so they,” he flings his hand in the direction of the house, “don’t hear. But, yeah. I… I like him. A lot.”

“I can see that. Like, really see that. You like him so much that just his company would be enough. Disgusting. Let me think,” she waves him off, like he has been dismissed but instead she’s the one walking away, walking figure eights around area in front of him for a couple minutes before whirling around to say, “You have to make your character a flirt. An outright slut, even. For information gathering purposes of course.”

“What?”

“He plays all the other characters, Stephan,” she says, dragging out his name to make it sound like ‘Steff-fawn’, “and you know he’s good at this… being in character thing! So, like, if you can trip him up by being all flirty, then that’s like, got to be a sign that he likes you, too, right? If he doesn’t like you, he can take it in stride. But! If he’s crushing on you, too, this will be like, too good to be true to him, yeah? That’ll fluster anyone, especially if he plays on our team and probably hasn’t had many guys openly hitting on him. Plus, you can always tell when someone likes you. You haven’t been checking for signs that Eddie might like you because you weren’t even aware it might be possible. And I’m not going to get your hopes up, Eddie could be, like, a totally straight dude, but when will it ever be safer to test this?”

Steve nods. “Yeah… yeah. Eddie is good at this character thing. And I do know when people are interested. And this is safe. If I flirt and he doesn’t react, or if he recoils in disgust, I can write what I’ve done off as it’s the game and I’m just trying to be a good player. Oh God, Robin, what if he’s like not okay with gay people.”

“Then we bodily throw Eddie out your front door, never speak to him again, and tell Will he’s the new Dungeon Master.”

“That seems extreme.”

“It’d be fitting. Eddie didn’t bat an eyelash when I came out to everyone after my date with Vicki. He actually congratulated me. So, if he only hates gay men then he’d be a disgusting lesbian fetishist and he’ll have to go ASAP. I doubt that’s the case, though.”

Steve barks a laugh and jerks his head towards the house, an offer to return inside. They turn towards the house and are greeted by everyone lined up along the glass door and windows that lead to the pool. A few of them (Nancy, Max, Will) have the decency to try and pretend they weren’t watching by turning away quickly but otherwise everyone just stares at each other until Dustin hauls open the glass door and shouts, “Are you two fighting?”

“No, we aren’t fighting,” Steve says as he shoves his way past Dustin and back into the house. “Let me grab the snacks and the game can begin.”

Steve moves to the kitchen, with Robin and Eddie following behind to help gather all chips, dips, candy, and soda and deposit them on any nearby surface in the dining room. Steve then slides into the chair to Eddie’s left, where Dustin usually sits before anyone else can take that seat.

Dustin slides into the chair next to him instead of arguing about it, saying, “Captivated, aren’t you? Guess I’ll let you have my spot so you can pay attention better. Told you this game was great.”

“I’ll be paying plenty of attention, don’t you worry,” Steve says to Dustin before turning to Eddie, who has taken his place at the head of the table, and winking at him, “right, Eds?”

Eddie stops moving for barely any time at all, and honestly, if the whole point of where he sat wasn’t to be close enough to catch and catalogue all of Eddie’s reactions, he would have missed the freeze. “Oh yeah. Steve’s been following the story closely.”

Steve looks around the table and watches the kids exchange glances and shrugs before Eddie begins to recall what happened last game and where the Party is headed now. Steve waits for his cue. Eddie’s got several ways to introduce Steve’s character, just in case the kids don’t grasp onto the plot hooks. But they’re good players, who know when an adventure hook is being dangled in their face. When their characters read the notice board, looking for quests, and come across the one of a man looking to hire help in searching for his lost sister, they buy into it quickly.

“You find yourselves at the tavern where the help wanted poster said to meet. There are three other people inside this early in the day, not including the barkeep.”

“Can I go and ask the barkeep if he knows who put the poster up?” Will asks. Will speaks in the first person who it comes to his character far more often than anyone else, Steve’s noticed.

“Of course. The barkeep is a surly looking dwarf who keeps rearranging the glasses behind the counter. He sees you approaching and listens to your question before saying,” Eddie says in his normal tone, before dropping into a deeper, Scottish accent. “Aye. You passed him on the way in. He’s sitting there, close to the door.”

“Do we approach as a group?” Lucas asks, and after a quick discussion and confirmation that the table their quest giver is sat as has enough seating for them all, they agree to approach together.

Eddie nods and says, “You all approach the table and the figure sitting there looks up as you do. Steve, please describe what they see as they approach you.”

Steve opens his mouth to answer but the table explodes. Dustin shrieks and throws out his hands to grip Steve’s arm and just shake him. “Oh my God. Oh my God. OH MY GOD. STEVE!” Dustin is yelling basically in his ear. Everyone is exclaiming something in excitement, and it gets loud, fast. With no end to the onslaught of screaming in sight, Steve resigns himself to this fate.

It takes far longer than it should for everyone to quiet down, and Steve’s a little red after all of it. Because he hadn’t expected this reaction. He thought Dustin might be a little hyped, sure, but this level of love he feels from all these kids, and for them, and how doing something so small, like joining their game, brings them this much joy… He regrets not joining sooner, honestly.

Finally, they quiet and Steve gets to describe his character, Sir Gregor of House Buckington (Robin’s idea of a last name, he’s not afraid to throw her under the bus for that) and the game progresses. When Steve’s asked to make his first roll of the night, everyone jumps to offer their dice, but he just calls out to Robin. She still has his in her pocket. He shoots a look at Will, who he can see recognizes the dice, and smiles at him as he rolls his first D20.

It's almost two hours into the session before Steve sees his chance to flirt. The Party is trying to negotiate a discount for some healing potions, and they’ve failed their check. They can’t afford the potions and Erica, playing the rogue, offers to try and steal them.

“Can I give Erica advantage by distracting the shop keep?” Steve asks.

Eddie looks intrigued by these. “… Maybe. How would you distract him?”

“Sir Gregor will lean against the counter and say ‘Sorry about my companion’s awkward attempts to swindle you of your goods for a fair price. I should have stepped in sooner, but I was a bit… captivated watching you shut them down’ and try and fluster this guy by flirting with him.”

It’s a mixed bag of reactions from the kids that Steve barely hears because he’s focused on Eddie. Eddie, whose face looks a bit redder than it usually does.

“You wanna… flirt with the shop keep?” Eddie’s voice is a bit higher than normal too. Interesting.

“If that’s allowed.”

“Umm, uh, y-yeah,” Eddie stumbled over his words and Steve can feel himself grinning like the cat that got the cream. Eddie is flustered. Steve has flustered him. Oh. This is going to be a good game. “Roll a persuasion check.” Steve gets a 17. “Lady Applejack, if you would, roll sleight of hand with advantage as Sir Gregor seems to have successfully taken the attention of the shopkeep.”

“I am going to enjoy having Steve play,” Erica says as she picks up her dice. “No one else helps me steal things.”

-

They play for almost four hours, an hour longer than normal, but Steve is surprised by how quickly it slips by and finds that he’s a little disappointed that it has to end, especially since they’ve stopped one round into combat. It’s a terrible place to stop, but if the kids are any later getting home there might be a reckoning done by some parents. The only reason there isn’t one now is because Nancy, ever practical about things, called all the parents about an hour and a half ago to let them know the kids might be an hour or two late getting home.

“We’ll pick up next week,” Eddie says, standing to get a good look at the battle map to copy it into his notebook.

“You can just leave it out so you don’t have to recreate it,” Steve says, like he does every week. “I won’t mess with it.”

And like every week before, Eddie just pulls out his graph paper and starts to track how many squares apart everyone is as the kids pack up their own things and head out. Steve walks them all to the door and Robin hangs back to talk, waiting on the front step. Steve walks out and shuts the door behind him.

“He’s absolutely into you,” Robin whispers. “Do you know that this means? We can go on double dates! I’ll be Eddie’s fake date, because I’m not sure Vicki and Eddie should be left alone to conspire against us but-“

“I think it’s a bit too soon to be planning double dates, Buckley,” Steve cuts her off. “Yeah, Eddie’s into me. But like… into me? Does he even know he’s into me?”

“Right. Could also be in the denial phase, still,” she says, then deepens her voice in a poor imitation of Eddie’s and adds, “I think Steve is hot but in a purely platonic friend-like fashion.”

He laughs, shoving Robin towards Jonathan’s car, where everyone else is loaded and waiting, “go home.”

She leaves laughing and Steve waves them off before going back inside. He finds Eddie at the table, placing the minis carefully back into the tacklebox he keeps them in.

“Seriously, you don’t have to put everything away,” Steve says and Eddie jumps.

“Jesus! Don’t sneak up on me,” Eddie clutches at his heart dramatically.

“I didn’t sneak! You’re lost in your own head if you didn’t hear the door slam or my footsteps,” Steve leans back against the wall, watching Eddie. The other man nods to himself, hands still fiddling with a mini in his hand. The one he’d used for Steve’s character. Steve watches and wishes he could read Eddie’s mind as easily as Robin reads his.

“Thank for playing tonight,” Eddie finally says, placing the mini back onto the table instead of in the tacklebox before turning to Steve. “You did real good.”

Steve gives him a smile he hopes Eddie can see if soft and fond, “yeah? I put a lot of effort into this. Robin, Nancy, and Jonathan helped me.”

“You recruited all three?”

“Yeah. I wanted to put in the effort. I’ve watched several games now; I see how much time you all put into this. It’d be an asshole move to agree to join and not, like, at least read the rules.”

Eddie hums an agreement, “would be kinda asshole-ish, but you’re certainly not an asshole anymore.”

Steve fakes wounded, “you thought I was an asshole?”

“Well, it would be a pretty dick move on my part to think you’re an asshole after everything,” Eddie takes a step towards Steve, then seems startled at himself, like he can’t believe he moved. “Anyway, you willing to play again next week?”

“Yeah, man. Looking forward to it.”

“Cool. Cool,” Eddie nods before turning to gather up the stuff he brought with him. “I’ll see you next week, then.”

“Totally.”

Steve watches Eddie head towards the door and feels something like regret in his stomach. Logically he knows he doesn’t have to rush this. Doesn’t have to fling himself at Eddie immediately now that he knows he wants to, knows that Eddie is at least enough into him to get flustered with his ‘fake’ flirting.

But.

But Steve has lived through four apocalypses and Eddie almost didn’t survive one and life is worth taking a chance on doing things he never thought he’d do (like playing and enjoying a game of Dungeons and Dragons), so- He picks up his D20 from the table and gives it a roll, leaves it up to chance if he should do this now or wait.

It rolls around the table, bounces off the books still left on the table before rolling to a stop.

Eh, 8 is good enough.

“Eddie, wait!” Steve flings open his front door and shouts. Eddie, in the process of backing out of the driveway, brakes. Steve runs across his yard and Eddie, window already cracked, rolls it the rest of the way down.

“Yeah?”

“Wanna go on a date with me,” Steve says, then winces. He used to be better at this. “Please. I mean, go on a date with me. Oh, that sounds worse, like I’m expecting you to. Which I’m not-I don’t expect you to like me just because I like you. Fuck, I’m ruining this. Would you like to go on a date with me, please?”

Eddie just lets him shove his foot in his mouth, but he looks fond more than annoyed. Still, he says, “I, uhh, didn’t know you were… into guys.”

“Guys in general, sure. You, specifically? Ridiculously into you.”

That brings a smile to Eddie’s face. “Yeah?”

“So, uh date tomorrow? After I get off work?”

“Tomorrow,” Eddie agrees easily.

Steve watches Eddie drive away and suddenly he can’t wait for work tomorrow. Robin’s going to implode when he tells her.

-

-

Eddie, after getting off the phone with Steve the night before the game: Oh, he wants to do drugs before having to suffer through watching us play dnd again. Better bring my druglunchbox

[goddess-aelin]

Putting Out Fires

For Rowaelin Month day 26: taking care of the littles solo

@rowaelinscourt

Masterlist

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: none!

Alma Whitethorn Galathynius, six years old and eldest of three children (so far), was a beautiful and gentle soul. That is, when she wasn’t being a little hellion. With a strong gift of fire from her mother, Alma inherited the famous Galathynius temper and penchant for “accidentally” setting things on fire. Her four-year-old younger brother, Errin, was no better. While he also had fire powers, they were thankfully much weaker than his sister’s, especially since he also inherited his father’s strong gift of ice and wind, Rowan’s twin. Errin, though, found it funny to chase his sister, hands aflame and ice covering the floors to make it more difficult to run.

And not to mention poor Leven, the newly two-year-old who tried and failed to keep up with his older siblings. Leven, unlike his siblings, had a quiet disposition, contemplative and cool headed. While he wasn’t usually easily upset, his siblings chasing each other with flames certainly put a damper on his mood.

To put it short, Rowan was absolutely, positively exhausted.

Aelin left for Adarlan two weeks ago, hoping to meet with Dorian and Chaol to forge new trade agreements. Rowan had excitedly volunteered to stay home with their children instead of taking part in the courtly bullshit. But he didn’t anticipate that not having Aelin as a buffer would tempt his two oldest into becoming creatures sent by Hellas himself. If only Lorcan could see him right now.

Carrying Leven from his quiet room where the youngster was napping into the chaos of the playroom was like walking into a warzone. Rowan swears his hair was singed by a fireball passing by his head. Putting Leven down, the boy immediately latched onto his leg, not willing to take part in his siblings’ antics. Rowan, however, needed to get this under control…and fast. Otherwise, Aelin would be coming home to nothing but a burnt crisp of a castle.

“What is going on?!” Rowan tried to use his best booming voice, the voice of a commander, but he didn’t do a very good job. His voice came out as a squeak instead since a fireball shot directly toward his head once again, which of course, made Leven clutch his leg harder and tears form in the poor boy's eyes.

Rowan cleared his voice and tried again. “WHAT IS GOING ON!?”

The room went silent except for Leven’s sniffles. Both Alma and Errin’s hands were wreathed in flame, covering their tiny hands like wraps for sparring. A quick once-over of his kids informed Rowan that, luckily, no one seemed to be injured or burned.

Both Alma and Errin just stood there for a moment before spurring back into action. It all happened so fast. One minute, they were standing in front of each other, and the next, Errin’s little hand was holding the drapes. Still on fire.

“No! Don’t set fire to the–” Rowan was cut off by a wave of water dousing the flames. Huh, he thought. That’s new. Both Alma and Errin were frozen, looking bewildered as he felt. As far as he knew, neither Alma nor Errin had water powers, which left… “Oh my Gods!”

Rowan looked to his youngest, still clutching his leg but now with an outstretched little hand. He had an adorable pout on his face and it reminded him so much of Aelin that he could help but let a cackle escape.

Picking his youngest son up, he asked him, “Was that you, buddy? Did you put the fire out?”

Still pouting, Leven nodded. “Water.”

A smile burst over Rowan’s face. “That was amazing! You’re only two and you just put that big fire out!” He tickled his son’s belly and the youngster started giggling. His two older ones made their way over, bashful and embarrassed.

“We’re sorry, Daddy. We were just playing,” his oldest stated.

Bringing his arms around all three of them, he pulled them into a tight hug. “I know, my loves. You just have to be careful, especially inside.” He could feel Alma and Errin lay their heads on his chest and shoulder, Leven still in his arms, holding onto his neck. “I think that finding out Leven has water powers calls for some cake, yes?”

All three of his children started jumping up and down eagerly, having inherited their mother’s love of cake.

Afterwards, the kids were luckily more pliant and subdued, allowing Rowan to give them baths and get them into their nightclothes. With all three of them tucked into bed, Rowan was looking forward to absolutely passing out once he reached his own.

He was almost asleep when the patter of little feet reached his ears. In the doorway was a tiny shadow with long hair: Alma. The small girl crossed the room to where Rowan was laying and crawled her way up onto the massive bed.

“Daddy,” she whispered. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

As he sat up and started rubbing her back, he replied, “Did you have a nightmare?”

The little one shook her head. “No, I just missed you.” Rowan’s heart melted at that though he couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle as he pulled his daughter into his arms.

“You just saw me five minutes ago, little bird.”

“But I miss Mommy, too. And I want to sleep in here.” She crossed her arms and pouted, Aelin through and through.

“Okay, okay. You can sleep in here. But you have to sleep, okay? No playing.”

“Okay, Daddy! I’ll sleep, don’t you worry.”

Rowan made to lay back down but instead of resting next to him, Alma hopped off the bed and padded once again toward the door. Like a tiny mother with her little ducklings following behind, three figures now walked toward his bed. One by one, his children climbed up onto the bed and tucked themselves in beside him. Leven, only two and still fairly small yet, couldn’t reach the bed himself so Rowan hauled him up.

“I don’t think I remember agreeing to having three little birds in my bed.” A chorus of giggles broke out. Soon enough, though, his children’s light snores reached his ears and lulled him to sleep.

- - - - -

Something woke Rowan the next morning, though it was still before dawn. As his bleary eyes sharpened, a familiar figure was standing by the side of the bed, taking in the scene.

“Fireheart,” he whispered. “You’re home.”

She bent down to kiss him, short and sweet though not without feeling. “I’m home.” Her gaze turned to their three little ones snuggled up against Rowan. “And why is everyone in my bed?”

Rowan let out a soft chuckle. “The little masterminds formed a plan and ganged up on me to sleep here. I didn’t know you’d be back yet. I can move them.”

Aelin shook her head. “No, leave them be. I’ll snuggle in on the other side.”

Moments later, their three children were sandwiched between the two of them.

“Soon we won’t be able to fit all of them in here.”

Rowan gave her a knowing smile. They hadn’t told the kids yet that Aelin was expecting another sibling again but he knew they’d all be overjoyed at the prospect of another baby to spoil and scheme with. Rowan reached his hand to rest on Errin’s back, sleeping in the middle. Aelin’s covered his moments later and Rowan couldn’t help but thinking he was so godsdamned lucky.

A/N: I’m slacking so hard on the prompts this past week but I’m hoping to get some out after this month is over! Hope you enjoyed!

Tagging:

@cretaceous-therapod @morganofthewildfire @tomtenadia @live-the-fangirl-life @charlizeed @violet-mermaid7 @euphoric-melancholyy @kritical24 @rubyriveraqueen @dealfea @wellofnothing @ayaashryver @moonknight-spector @leiawritesstories @whoever-you-choose-to-love @holdthefrickup @heirofflowers @thecrispypotatochip @shanias-world @rowanaelinn @bruiseonthefaceofhumanity @hanging-from-a-cliff @fantacysoup @swankii-art-teacher @thegreyj @fromthelibraryofemilyj @westofmoon @lovely-dove-zee @books4eva04 @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks @backtobl4ck @dreamer-133 @elentiyawhitethorn @writtenonreceipts @shyvioletcat @aelinchocolatelover @captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @athena127 @tothestarsandwhateverend @highqueenofelfhame

[tomtenadia]

Detours to You - 22

Good Monday.

Here I am with a new chapter. In this one we finally meet Rowan's mum.

MASTERLIST

Two days later Aelin was at Orynth airport with Maya on her hand.

“Mama, is my other nana really coming?”

Aelin crouched “Yes, nana Eiddwen is coming to stay with us for a while to keep company to dad too.”

Maya cheered and took out the drawing she had made with nana Wen written at the bottom showcasing her writing skills.

Aelin walked to the arrival section and both of them stopped in front of the big doors “Mama when is she coming?” Since she had told her that her nana was coming, Maya had been counting down the hours. 

“Soon, see the big board? It says that her plane has landed and now your nana is collecting her bags.”

“Mama, are we going to see dad soon?”

Aelin nodded. She had spent the two previous days at his side. Lysandra and Elide had prohibited her to go to work and had forced her to stay at Rowan’s side. She had not complained and after picking up Eiddwen they were going to the hospital. He was being moved out of the ICU that morning and the doctor explained that they could expect him to be awake. That had lifted a bit of her worries. He still had a while to go before healing fully, but he was alive and okay. He was with them both. 

Aelin kept an eye on the doors until she spotted the woman she was looking for. She took Maya’s hand and they walked closer.

“Nana Wen?” Maya called, hoping to attract the attention of the right woman, but Aelin was on the case and they were walking already towards her.

“Aelin,” the older woman threw her arms around Aelin and she remembered all of a sudden that the Whitethorns were huggers. Rowan was the exception. She loved his family.

“Eiddwen, welcome.”

“Nana! Nana! I am here.” Maya pulled her grandmother’s trousers and the woman kneeled “hello, Maya.”

“Hi, nana. I am Maya.” She handed her the drawing “For you.”

Eiddwen grabbed the paper “Did you write this?”

“Yes, I am six, I am a big girl.”

Eiddwen’s eyes welled up and hugged her granddaughter “You are such a smart kid.” She stood and turned to Aelin “You look wonderful, darling.”

Aelin smiled and noticed that the woman in front of her looked an older from the one she remembered. Likely the pain of loosing her husband had something to do with it. And her stomach knotted. She almost lost Rowan. She shook the thought from her head. No, not now. 

“Let’s go back to the car.”

While Aelin grabbed the suitcase, Maya gripped her grandmother’s hand and Aelin knew that her daughter was already in love with the woman “nana, do you like winter?”

“I do,” replied the woman as they exited the airport “but in Wendlyn is much warmer than here in Terrasen.”

“Mama, where is Wenlyn?”

“I will show you when we get home,” added Eiddwen.

In the car Aelin set off for the hospital and Eiddwen sat at the back beside Maya who was bombarding her grandmother with questions, but the woman seemed more than happy to answer them all.

“Nana, you know mum has a bookstore?”

“I do and I am looking forward to visit it. I heard a lot about it.”

“I love it. Do you like hockey?”

Aelin almost burst into laughter. Maya was so excited that was jumping from a random question to the other.

They arrived at the hospital not long after and Aelin hated how easily she found her way to Rowan’s ward. In the last three days she had spent far too much time inside those walls. She walked to his room and paused, kneeling in front of her daughter “wait it here with nana for a minute.”

“No, I want to see dad.”

Eiddwen pulled the girl to the chairs with her “Maya, darling, your mum is just going to check how your dad is and make sure he is not sleeping. We will see him very soon. I want to see him too.”

Maya nodded quietly and Aelin kissed her then disappeared through the door.

A set of green eyes turned to her and Aelin smiled. The clutch on her heart finally loosened a bit more and she felt like she could breathe again. He was awake. She kept repeating to herself.

One step and then another and she was at his side “hi sleeping beauty.”

He made a sound that resembled a chuckle “sleeping beauty gets a kiss.”

Aelin threw herself at him, cautious of his injuries and her lips landed on his “Don’t. Ever again, Rowan.” She muttered amongst tears “Don’t you dare.”

Rowan uninjured arms lifted to her face in a caress “sorry.”

He kept kissing her “I love you, Aelin,” he whispered softly “That’s all I thought about while  I was trapped. I love you so much.”

Aelin kissed his nose “of course, I am the most lovable person ever.”

Rowan tried to laugh but cough racked his chest and he stopped.

“Hey, lie back on the pillow,” she adjusted the cannulas under his nose “I have guests if you feel up for it. Not too long or the doctor might kill me, though.”

Rowan nodded and Aelin went back to the door and let the visitors in.

Rowan’s gaze widened in surprise when he saw his mum, but had no time to say anything because Maya came running towards the bed and was now screaming to get on it at his side

“Let me remove your shoes first.” Aelin fought to keep her daughter calm. She had missed him. Then lifted her in bed and placed Maya near his less hurt side “Do not move too much okay? Just stay beside dad and hug him.”

Maya nestled against him, her head tucked in his side “I missed you, dad.”

“Me too,” added Rowan while kissing her head and then turning to his mum who was staring at him with moist eyes.

“I am fine, mum.”

Eiddwen took a step closer and kissed her son’s head “I know.”

Aelin stepped up at the bottom of the bed “I called her.” She added at Rowan’s inquisitive stare.

“And I am glad she did.” Her hand brushed Maya’s hair “I finally got to meet her.”

Maya slowly fell asleep in her father’s arms and Aelin decided to step out for an excuse to talk to the doctor and leave mother and son talk.

“How are you and Aelin doing?” His mum was a pro at going straight to the point. 

“Better,” he said quietly “we are trying to be a family.”

Eiddwen extracted a box from her bag. It was a small blue velvet box. She opened “This was my engagement ring.” She said, showing her son the ring inside “When the time comes give it to her. She is your other half, Rowan.” A pause “If it hadn’t been for me, you’d be married already.”

“I had to help you.”

Eiddwen caressed his head “I know, and I am grateful but look what you almost lost,” Said the woman, staring at the sleeping girl “I’ll keep the ring for now, but when you are ready it would make me very happy if you’d give this to her.”

Rowan nodded heavily.

“And of course I want more grand-babies.”

He chuckled “Slow down, mum.”

“Imagine a wee baby with Aelin’s looks.” Her tone dreamy/

“Are you saying that Maya is ugly because she is like me?” He pretended to be offended.

“No Rowan,” again she caressed the head “Your daughter is gorgeous and she is going to break a lot of hearts when she grows up.”

Rowan groaned “I don’t want to imagine her yet dating.”

“I am planning to stay here for a while, by the way.”

Shock passed through his features “are you sure? I am fine.”

“Rowan, Aelin has to work and Maya has school. You will not be able to do much in the house, so this time is my turn to look after you, and don’t even try to complain. Uncle Ellys knows and will keep an eye on the house.”

“Okay.” He conceded knowing that mentally sparring with his mum was a battle lost from the start. And a part of him was glad to have his mum around and seeing she was better enough to actually leave Wendlyn. For a long time she could not even leave the house. His gaze must have drifted because his mum called him off “Rowan, I am so much better, I know that you worry. That’s your fussy stare, you got it from your dad.”

He shook his head “I am glad that you are here and to see you are so much better.”

Eiddwen sat at the bottom of the bed gently stroking Maya’s legs “You and Aelin gave me a beautiful reason to be excited about things again.”

In that instant a gentle knock interrupted them and Aelin’s head peeked through “Am in interrupting?”

Eiddwen shook her head “No, come in.”

Aelin stepped inside and smiled at Maya’s sleeping form nestled on her father’s side “I spoke to the doctor. They will have to keep you in for a few more days at least. Because of the splenectomy and the other injuries, they want to make sure everything is under control before they release you,” she explained “You will also start physio very soon and they will also start your treatment plan for once you are discharged.” And smile then spread on her face “While I was outside Lorcan called and apparently the mayor is going to pay you a visit and please expect to be the recipient for the medal of valour.”

Rowan was stunned “For what? I just did my job.”

“According to the mayor your hard work recently has not gone unnoticed and you saved a few people lives. So yes, you are getting the medal.”

He pouted, unhappy “The other firefighters saved lives too, this is not fair.”

“Rowan, darling, take the win.”

“Fine, but I am not happy.” He folded his good arms at his chest and she almost laughed when she noticed that his grumpy expression matched the furrowed one on a sleeping Maya.

Aelin turned to Eiddwen and the woman nodded “Well, you definitely have no doubt now that he is the father.”

She laughed and stared at father and daughter and her heart swelled with love.

“Imagine how proud Maya will be when she finds out she has a superhero dad.”

He smiled “Fine, for her, I can accept it.”

It was late in the afternoon when Aelin finally took Eiddwen home. Lorcan’s team had invaded the room together with other off duty colleagues and the women had decided to leave him in peace with his firefighters. 

Once at home, Maya started introducing the house to her grandma “come, I will show you my kingdom.“

Aelin laughed and nodded and went to tidy up the house a bit. 

Upstairs Maya dragged Eiddwen in her room “look, nana. This is my bed,” she then ran for Elf “Dada gave this to me. It’s my friend elf.”

Eiddwen smiled “were you kind to the elves on the solstice?”

“Yes, dad told me all of the stories.”

She then ran to her collection of hockey items and grabbed her stick “I am starting hockey soon. I am playing with the big kids.”

“You need to tell me all about it. Wendlyn does not have a hockey team.”

Maya took that as an invitation to go to her drawer and pull out her Stags jersey “They are the Stags. They are the best.” She explained proudly “You can come with us. I will tell you the game.”

In that instant Aelin came upstairs “Did you give her a tour?”

“Oh yes, she even introduced me to elf.”

“That’s an honour,” added Aelin “I have a room ready.”

“Nana can sleep in my room.”

Aelin crouched “Maya, nana needs her bedroom, but she is just next door.”

“Okay.”

Eiddwen took Maya’s hand “I can come and read you stories. I am really good.”

“Yes!”

“Now, let nana go change and come downstairs with me.” Aelin turned and noticed the exploded drawer “did you show her your jersey?”

The girl nodded “Can she come to the game with us?”

“Of course.”

Maya walked to her mother and grabbed her hand “mum, I like her.”

Aelin hugged her “I am glad, because nana is staying with us for a while.”

The two walked downstairs and Aelin started prepping for dinner and missed Rowan’s cooking skills. She had improved leaps and bounds for the sake of her daughter but was not even remotely as good as him.

Eiddwen arrived back down a moment later and saw Aelin staring at the fridge with pensive face and Maya at the table colouring.

“Let me cook you a Wendlyn dish.”

Aelin tried to protest but the woman was as stubborn as her son.

She texted Rowan about her mum being stubborn and his reply was Pot. Kettle and a smiley face.

She replied with a kiss emoji and wished him a good evening and a promise of going to visit the following day.

Reply sent, Aelin returned to the two women and they enjoyed the rest of the night talking and with Maya getting to know her grandmother a little more.

taglist

@rowaelinismyotp @swankii-art-teacher @whimsicallyreading @elentiyawhitethorn @aelin-bitch-queen @bruiseonthefaceofhumanity  @mis-lil-red @thegreyj @sailorsassley @leiawritesstories @clairec79 @morganofthewildfire @sv0430 @heartless--aromantic @autumnbabylon @rowanaelinn @backtobl4ck @susumaus98  @gracie-rosee @mybloodrunsblue @tanvee1231 @avenrebekah @whoever-you-choose-to-love  @theywillnotsingforme @universallytreepost @black-daisy-water @goddess-aelin @whispers-in-the-darkest-heart @lovely-dove-zee @athena127

[starandsims]

Book 1: Normal Type | Chapter 10: Blossoming (2/2)

Book 1: Normal Type | Chapter 10: Blossoming (2/2)

“Hey, that’s alright, everyone has some things they don’t want to mention in the first few months of dating someone,” Teddy tried to be reassuring, but he was really curious as to what this secret was now. 

“I wouldn’t really call this dating,” Violet started, but quickly changed the subject. “But anyway, the thing is, I’ve been married before.”

“Oh, okay.” He wasn’t sure why that would be a secret, she was older and she was beautiful, he would have assumed she’d been in lots of relationships before. He also wasn’t sure what they were doing if they weren’t dating. Sure they hadn’t used specific labels yet, but that was normal in this modern day. 

“I was married to Oliver for eleven years, at first I thought everything was great, it was totally normal. We had two beautiful children, Felicity and Rowan. But then apparently I got to be ‘too much’ and my moods were causing tension, although Felicity and Rowan never seemed to mind or have a problem with me as a mother.” 

As she spoke about her family, she continued to drink, pausing to ask the bartender for more. Teddy started to drink his wine as well, trying to process the fact that Violet had children. An ex-husband he could handle, children with a different father would be - different. But not impossible. He’d always wanted a large family, so taking on two step children right from the beginning just meant there was more at the start. 

Violet finished another large sip of her new wine. “It all became more clear when, after a year of being divorced, Oliver married again. His name is Leo, he’s not even 30 yet, so I started thinking about our age difference you know?” she seemed to be switching subjects a lot, perhaps it was the alcohol. “And I thought it would be fitting for me to see someone even younger than that.”

“Well…that’s not the only reason you’re seeing me…right?” Teddy asked cautiously. 

Suddenly Violet blushed and she put both of her hands on his face to cup his cheeks. “Oh, no no my teddy bear, not at all. It’s just that at first I felt guilty for our age difference, but now I don’t because if Oliver can do it, then why can’t I?” 

Teddy carefully clasped her hands in his to pull them away from his face, wondering how many glasses she’d had before he’d arrived. “Yeah, I think that’s alright.”

“You know last year they even adopted a daughter, he keeps my kids full time and not only gets married but then adopts a third child?” Violet said as if it were scandalous. “I feel so sorry for my kids, they only get to see me on the weekends, and during the week they have to deal with a step-dad and some little rugrat. I wouldn’t be surprised if Oliver is giving more love and attention to his new child rather than paying any attention to ours, although Felicity and Rowan would never complain about him to me.” She said that last part with derision, as if she’d been trying to coax her children into saying bad things about her ex-husband. Although Teddy knew that couldn’t be true, she was too sweet for that, it was probably just the alcohol talking again. 

“Anyway, I just wanted to tell you because…well because even though it’s been two years since the divorce, I still don’t know if I’ll be ready to commit to someone like that again for a while. I like you, a lot, but sometimes I might get overwhelmed and I might try to run away, but you’ve got to be responsible for keeping me, because I want to stay, I really do, but my fear might get the better of me sometimes. Can you do that, teddy bear?”

“Oh, well of course, I want to be with you too, I’m sorry that he hurt you, I’ll never do that to you.”

Violet lifted her hand back to his face and patted him on the cheek. “I know you won’t, Teddy, I know.” (2/2) 

[steel--fairy]

Hmmmmm, how about Barry? For the verse character thing.

barry! my very first rival! though i went with one of his other generic names and picked like. tyson for whatever reason. idk. 9 year old me was an enigma.

anyways that's to say, he has a special place in my heart the silly little kiddo

under a cut bc this, again, got super long

so to start with barry, we need to start with palmer. he and chryssas dad (henceforth referred to as cd since he doesn't have an actual name yet...) were both from twinleaf and dreamed of becoming great trainers.

and they did! palmer made it to the champion level, though being champion bored him so he quit after a bit. when plans to build a battle frontier in sinnoh popped up, he jumped at the chance to join.

cd eventually became a ranger which he was good at, but killed him in a freak accident. a lot of turbulent emotions for palmer--his best friend died the same week his son was born.

that's all relevant because it led to barry being childhood friends with chryssa and lucas whenever his dad was around... and then chased off by johanna whenever he was at the battle frontier.

cd's death shattered johanna and she partly blamed palmer. she'd never say that to his face, but she did kinda take it out on barry as a proxy.

as a result, barry had a weird time with his best friend (lucas). they could only spend time together at school or when johanna wasn't looking.

barry, despite his extroversion, was a very lonely kid. he couldn't see lucas that often and both of his parents worked busy schedules. palmer spent 5 days of the week at the battle frontier while his mom (who I should really also name) was a teacher who was constantly busy.

he had a lot of trouble making friends at school. he was a bit too extroverted yknow? tolerated at best as a class clown. lucas was basically the only person who actually liked him. (even chryssa basically tolerated him at best lol)

that left barry with a lot of time on his own. to most people's surprise, he actually spent a lot of that time studying! battling of course, not schoolwork. he studied video of his father or cynthia or whoever, went to the library to learn strategy, went by the high school to watch the older kids casually battle.

so, obviously, he couldnt wait to go on his journey! he just needed to wait for palmer to get him the perfect starter : )

...yea. he uh didnt. palmer knew barry wanted a pokemon but was also away from barry a lot. being home reminded him, but a lack of object permeance is mayhaps a family trait. barry ended up getting his starter from professor rowan.

which barry isn't bitter about at all! he's lying

barry really does love his daddy. he looks up to him as the coolest, greatest, awesomest person on the planet. the fact that palmer doesnt seem to be aware of how deep barry's admiration goes stings juuuust a tiny bit.

but he was on his journey now! and he had a rival in chryssa! (lucas was a boring nerd who worked under professor rowan)

....except chryssa avoided him. and turned down all of his offers to battle when he did find her. and the very few timea they did battle, she absolutely crushed him.

barry's journey was maybe a bit lonelier than expected.

but then he got a chance to study under crasher wake! ignore that wake didnt seem to want him around like everyone else! he was going to be as strong as his dad and this was going to help!

....if team galactic doesnt blow up sinnoh first. barry, despite a desire to help, doesn't get much done. he couldn't stop team galactic from blowing up the great marsh. he couldn't stop jupiter from taking uxie. he couldnt even make it to the peak of mt coronet in time to help there.

barry felt a bit useless and superfluous. he's strong, yea, but what's the point? he hasnt gotten his dads attention, he cant keep his friends, he cant make new ones, he cant help out.....

and uh. this is about where i am for barry. one of the things on my to do list for potential sinnoh fic is wrap up barry's plot line. have him talk to his dad, deal with his growing inferiority complex, all that. its one of those things i feel will be easier after actually writing it, alas, so I don't have much more to say.

but some other barry stuff!

adhd king as we all know

starts dating lucas as an adult. when they tell chryssa, she just kind of stares at them and says she thought theyd been dating for the past 5 years.

does make up with his dad and have a good conversation about everything. palmer never meant to make barry feel bad (and feels quite bad hinself for doing so on accident) and tries to make it up to him

eventually becomes a frontier brain? i have him as taking over from argenta but I'm not 100% married to that specific concept. i kinda want to see what others have for barry before definitively picking something

and that's barry! yay!

[angstyaches]

Hay There

Or; Shayne and Charlie’s Halloween 2022 - Event 1 / 2

Thank you Rowan @emetogirl for the request and inspiration for this fic!! Haunted hay rides are not a culture I was familiar with but I’m now obsessed with them and am not sure why they’re not a thing in my country. I imagined a bunch of local brands taking advantage of the crowds and the autumnal theme; not sure if that’s also a thing.

Also, I’m not sure about the little outsider POV snippet in the middle but I really wanted to insert something sweet and magical and supernatural. It also kind of ties into Charlie’s future relationship with his niece.

CW: food mention, Shayne’s taking-up-space anxiety, anxiety symptoms, Halloween attraction, supernatural / body horror imagery, “little kids being sensitive to the supernatural” trope, emeto.

___

Shayne sighed as he settled down next to Charlie. He was fairly sure he’d never sat on hay – or was this straw? – before, despite Charlie’s belief that anybody who didn’t grow up in the city must have lived in a barn for at least one summer of their childhood.

The sun had gone down less than fifteen minutes ago, casting everything in a cool, vaguely navy haze. Glowing lanterns had been set up throughout the trees and around the market stalls, and Shayne already felt less anxious than he had when he’d arrived. The darkness was like a weighted blanket between him and reality.

“You want some of this?” Charlie asked in a low voice. He had his body turned towards Shayne to shelter the remains of his pumpkin seed muffin from view. The tickets had stated that no food or drink was allowed on the trailer, so he was trying to finish it before anyone noticed.

“No.”

“God damn it,” Charlie mumbled, breaking off piece after piece of the muffin and shoving them frantically into his mouth.

“You did this to yourself,” Shayne pointed out. 

Charlie had gone a little crazy at the market stalls. They had eaten dinner at home before coming, but there had been too many snacks and drinks that Charlie had wanted to try. Maybe one day, Shayne could be the kind of boyfriend who could split everything with him, but this was not that day. 

“Alright, folks, sit down, quickly now, please!” A woman in a luminous vest stood at the back of the trailer, eyeing everybody who’d climbed on as though they had all come specifically to cause her trouble.  

Charlie’s eyes widened. He folded the muffin wrapper and put it in his jacket pocket. He kept his head lower and tucked towards Shayne as he chewed. His cheeks were pushed out slightly, like a cartoon chipmunk.  

Shayne raised his eyebrows in mild amusement. “Y’okay?”

Charlie glared at him and attempted to swallow multiple times.  

The majority of the group were either a bit younger than Charlie and Shayne, or significantly older. About twelve people could fit in the trailer at a time. And Shayne was one of them. 

He wondered if any of these passengers had another friend or child or partner who hadn’t been able to get on the trailer with them because Shayne was here.

You take up so much –

“Alrighty, folks!” the woman in the luminous vest called out, and Shayne jumped. He wondered if she was a part of the show herself, but that seemed unlikely. “We just have a couple of safety announcements to go over...”

Shayne looked at Charlie; once he’d finished choking down his muffin, he’d twisted around on his bale so that he could look over the side of the trailer. He seemed to be peering down at where it was hitched to the back of the little ride-on tractor.  

Shayne tapped him lightly on the shoulder. “Quick question. Why do you hate me?”

Charlie’s blue eyes glinted in the low light as he turned his head. “I don’t hate you. I love you.”

“Shut up.”

“No! I love you, and I want to do fun things with you.”

“You’re so sure this is going to be fun,” Shayne whispered, making sure he wasn’t about to get himself yelled at for talking over the woman going over the safety precautions – he'd had enough of being publicly scolded in his school days, thank you very much.  

“Alright, it might not be fun. It might be the worst thing ever. But at least we’ll suffer together.” Charlie rested his hand on Shayne’s knee, just for a few seconds. “You know, I enjoy your company so much. Even when you’re being grumpy.”

Shayne felt heat rush to his face, and a gentle flutter in his stomach. He had no more snarky remarks.

Charlie’s gaze fell upon something just to the side of Shayne’s head. He reached out and plucked a piece of straw that had somehow gotten caught in Shayne’s hair. 

“Oh!” Charlie twirled the yellow stem between his fingers, right in front of Shayne’s face. “Hay there, beautiful.”

Shayne’s stomach fluttered again. 

“I hate you,” he said fondly. 

He took the piece of straw out of Charlie’s hand.

They started to chug forward through the designated trail, tires crunching through dried mud. The woman in the vest was now crouched in the back of the trailer, still calling out instructions.

“... hands, feet, children, personal belongings... inside the trailer – okay, no, she can’t sit on your lap. She has to sit beside you, please.”  

The man sitting to Shayne’s right had a five- or six-year-old girl perched sideways across his thighs; he clicked his tongue loudly as he was addressed.

“Sorry, can I just –?” her father asked, turning towards Shayne.

“Yeah, sorry, sorry,” Shayne blurted out. He moved a little closer to Charlie, who also tucked himself a bit more neatly against the wood at the top of the trailer.  

The little girl was placed next to Shayne, and she immediately turned around to sit up on her knees and face outwards. She was dressed as a fairy, or an angel, or something; one of her little nylon wings brushed against the side of Shayne’s arm. He glanced down nervously, saw that she was staring right up at him, and looked away again.

He shifted his weight on the hay – straw? He felt like he should really know the difference – and tucked his arms tightly around his waist.  

The person across from him had their legs stretched out, and pulled one foot back a bit when they almost kicked the side of Shayne’s boot. Shayne also found himself sitting up a little straighter and pulling his own feet closer to the bale, too.

So much, so much –

“I told you you’d be cold.” Charlie reached up to adjust his blue-and-grey tartan scarf, to which Shayne instantly rolled his eyes. As they’d been walking out to the car earlier, Charlie had been very smug about the fact that he was wearing a scarf.  

“I’m not cold,” Shayne said.

“You’re not?”

Shayne shook his head. He reckoned it wouldn’t be the most productive or festive thing to try to explain to Charlie that he was sitting with his arms locked around himself because he felt so... unnecessary? Was that even the word? He didn’t even really want to be here, so why did he deserve to take up all this space –?

So much, so much space.

Charlie put up his hand to draw Shayne’s face around to look at him. His palm was so warm and familiar against his cheek that Shayne just wanted to burrow into him, to stop existing on the physical plane and just live in Charlie’s warmth forever –

“Hey. You’re okay,” Charlie smiled.  

“It’s a lot of people,” Shayne admitted, even as guilt clawed at his throat. He shook his head again, both at himself and at the situation. It was too late for either of them to get off the ride now, so all he’d done was give Charlie the chance to feel bad for bringing him here.

Charlie nodded, the calm smile never fully leaving his face. “Okay. Um, let’s swap seats? That way you’ll be on the end, and you won’t have any strangers beside you –”

He started to get up as he was relaying his plan, and the motion prompted an immediate yell from the instructor who sat at the back of the trailer.

“No standing while we’re moving, please!”

Even though he wasn’t the one being singled out, goosebumps broke out across the back of Shayne's neck and all along his arms.

Charlie froze where he was, knees bent, hovering just above the bale. “We were just –”

“Shut up, Charlie,” Shayne hissed. He couldn’t raise his voice any louder, despite the fact that almost everybody else in the trailer had gone back to chatting amongst themselves as they trundled along. He put a hand on Charlie’s waist and pulled him back down onto the hay. “It’s okay. Thank you, though.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, now shut up and enjoy yourself.”

One wheel of the trailer seemed to hit a slightly raised rock, which jolted Charlie into gripping the edge of the wood. He looked out ahead of them, tilting his head as they passed beneath an archway of bare, spindly trees that reached up on either side of the trail to meet in the centre. His eyes darted back and forth, like he was following the direction of the branches. His mouth was set in an easy smile.

Shayne blinked, remembering that he was supposed to be looking at his surroundings, not at Charlie.

The trees were all harshly lit from underneath, casting deep shadows up through their branches. Up ahead, the trees had been strewn with fake spiderwebs that seemed as though they would almost brush the heads of the taller people in the trailer. A huge, fake spider hung down amidst the shadows.

Shayne realised he was instinctively on the lookout for anything that might use those shadows to enter from another realm. The farmland had a strange, pulsating energy, similar to the Mulberry forest, but for the most part, it was empty. No matter how spooked the kids taking this hay bale ride might get, they were safe, and that made Shayne feel a little better about the entire thing.

That was until Charlie jumped and screamed.  

A woman sitting across from him shrieked in response to Charlie’s outburst, and a few of the other passengers cackled to themselves.

“What the f–” Shayne quickly stopped himself from swearing, casting a glance towards the little girl and her father. The pause let him calm down and think a bit more clearly. “What happened?”

“The spider,” Charlie lamented.

Shayne quickly glanced back the way they’d come, to where the model spider had been dangling down through the tree branches. “The spider – the spider didn’t do anything, love.”

“No, but I thought it was going to drop down on me.”

Shayne grimaced. “So, you jump-scared yourself?”

“Hey, shut up,” Charlie broke into a nervous grin as the trailer began to slow down and the trees began to taper off into open, grassy space.

Charlie gasped and whimpered as an actor in a pale white mask leaned over the side of the trailer, cackled next to his face, and scampered away again. He was left with one hand pressed to his mouth, and the other to his chest.

“Are you for real?” Ugh. Shayne heard himself say it a second later. He sounded so mean.

But he was genuinely curious; he kept thinking about how silly and dramatic Charlie acced around Belle and their younger cousins. He couldn’t help but wonder if the jumping and yelping was for the sake of the girl sitting next to them.

Charlie pulled his scarf up a little higher, so that his mouth and nose were hidden. He sank a little lower on his bale.

“I’m sorry,” he laughed in a low, breathy voice. His eyes twinkled with that genuine tint of shyness that he got whenever he was embarrassed or flustered – Shayne knew it all too well.  

“Come on.” Shayne slipped an arm around Charlie’s shoulders. “You’re half demon. You’re a hundred times scarier than any of these fu–”  

Shit, no, don’t say ‘fuckers’ in case that little kid is listening. He probably shouldn’t have said anything about Charlie being a half-demon either.

“Funny people,” he said instead.

He glanced to his other side, to see that the girl was, indeed, still looking – no, staring – at him again. Maybe it was because Shayne had his arm around Charlie? Could she tell what that meant? It was possible that she’d never seen two people being this physically close in public before, not to mention two guys.

“Funny people...” Charlie shook his head incredulously as he mumbled behind his scarf. His voice was shaking a little and it made Shayne’s insides melt.  

He scoffed and pulled Charlie a little bit closer. It was almost too dark for anyone to notice. And if anybody had a problem regardless, then... honestly, they could fuck right off. “I’ve got you, idiot. I’ll eat any bad guys that try to get you.”

“Aw. Thank you, lovely.” Charlie freed his mouth from its scarf-prison long enough to lean over and give Shayne a kiss.  

___

The kiss would only last a couple of seconds, but it would be long enough for her to see them as they truly were.

The dark-haired one, his skin ashen, his eyes wide and dark and gaping when they fluttered open, his mouth hinging all the way back at his jaw. 

The blonde one, his veins grey and spiralling and pressing too closely to the skin, his left temple producing a curled horn. 

She would blink, and they would be two regular people again. Still gay, of course, but perfectly human-esque. Indistinguishable to the thousands of other people she would meet in her lifetime.

And she would not remember what she had seen. She would remember having a fun night with her dad. She would remember the sensation of experiencing abject, otherworldly beauty, but it would be intertwined with the series of mild jump scares, the smell of pumpkins and Halloween sweets, and the flickering of Jack O-Lanterns in the dark.  

And she’d remember it as one of the most magical nights of her life.

___

"Ah.” Charlie made a face. “Your lips are so cold.”

“Yours taste like apple juice,” Shayne mumbled. It sounded like a bit like a metaphor, like he just meant that Charlie’s kisses were comforting and sweet, but Charlie had actually purchased a bottle of artisanal apple juice at the market when they’d arrived, and then a second one just before their hay bale ride. 

In fact, he had downed the second bottle on their way to the trailer.  

Charlie continued to clutch Shayne’s hand as the ride went on, jumping and yelping occasionally. Actors crept out of the dark in costumes. Shayne felt a shudder run down his spine as somebody ran at the side of the trailer with a – presumably fake? – chainsaw and started yelling next to Shayne’s head. He wished the actors weren’t allowed to get so close.  

Certain objects actually did fall from the trees and dangled precariously over their heads. Sound effects accompanied surprise appearances of props and tricks of the light. As they went through a low stone tunnel, lights spun around them like they’d entered a portal; Shayne had to shut his eyes to avoid getting dizzy.

But mostly, he spent his time reacting to Charlie’s jumps, Charlie’s whispers, Charlie’s hand-squeezing.

The little girl dressed as a fairy seemed to have nerves of steel, and simply laughed and clutched her father’s arm during most of the scares. Her giggling was so infectious than Shayne had to smile at one point, at which point he felt the urge to squeeze Charlie's hand – not out of fright, but out of some fluffy emotion he couldn’t explain.

___

Even after the scares were over, and they circled back to the market area, Shayne could still feel Charlie crushing the life out of his hand. Shayne tried to catch his eye, but he kept glancing off to the side, as though he was looking for something out in the darkness.

Charlie was on his feet as soon as the trailer stopped, though he still had to wait for the passengers near the back to get off first. Shayne remained seated until he was sure he wouldn’t be in anybody’s way. He followed Charlie as he headed towards the car park.

Shayne realised how quickly he was having to walk, just to keep up with Charlie. They had to cut through the little market on the way, and Charlie was not even glancing at the stalls he was passing. They’d already visited most of them earlier, but it still wasn’t like Charlie not to even glance.  

He’d been in such a good mood when they’d gotten here, and now...

The anxiety crept back into Shayne’s stomach as he racked his brain. Had some part of the ride really gotten to Charlie? Was he upset about how many times Shayne had complained about coming here, or how much he’d teased him for being jumpy?

Asshole. Fix it.

“Charlie,” Shayne said as softly as he could, hoping to pry his boyfriend back from whatever state had taken hold of him. They were passing by the stand that Charlie had bought two bottles of apple juice from earlier. “Did – did you wanna buy some more of that juice you liked? To take home?”

Charlie smiled stiffly and shook his head. “I’m fine if you are.”

“Yeah? I’m good...”

“It’s okay if we go home then?”

“Of course.” That had been all Shayne had wanted since they’d arrived, but now that it was happening, he felt disgustingly hollow.  

Even if he wasn’t the reason Charlie’s mood had dropped, he wanted to know what it was. He wanted to understand. Feeling detached from what was going on in Charlie’s head was scarier than anything they’d seen on the hay bale ride.

The lights from the marketplace started to disappear behind them as they entered the field that the farm owner had assigned as parking space. When Shayne tried to take Charlie’s hand, he flinched suddenly, his face ashen as he glanced over his shoulder.

“Charlie, what’s going on?” Shayne felt a nervous laugh vibrate in his chest. “Hey – come on, we’re off the ride now. Nobody’s going to jump out at you anymore.”

“No, no, it’s not that, it’s –” Charlie’s hand slipped out of Shayne’s. He stumbled a couple of steps away on the dark grass, leaning over and retching loudly.

Shayne grimaced and glanced apologetically at a family that were trying to get past them on the way to their car. The mother pulled her son’s hand to keep him close to her as he gawked at Charlie.  

Shayne laid a hand on Charlie’s back. His spine convulsed and stiffened as thick, pale vomit poured out of his mouth and mingled with the grass.  

About a minute later, Charlie looked up at him with a shaky smile and finished his previous sentence. “It’s my tummy.”

“I – yeah, I kind of figured.”  

Shayne reached for the front of Charlie’s scarf, which was dangling dangerously close to the path that his stomach contents would take if he retched again. Thankfully it was still clean. 

He’d never hear the end of it if that scarf got ruined. 

He tugged the slightly scratchy tartan fabric over Charlie’s shoulder and smoothed both ends of it down over the back of his jacket. His fingers brushed against a piece of hay that’d gotten stuck to the fibres. 

He pulled it off and held it out next to Charlie’s shoulder.

“Hay,” he said softly. “You okay?”

“Ugh.” Charlie’s expression was drawn as he squinted upwards from his crouched position. “Did you just say oak-hay?”

Shayne grimaced and flicked the piece of hay away. “Seriously, how are you feeling?”

“A little better.” Charlie belched and turned his head towards the ground again. “I’m just a bit motion sick from the trailer, maybe.”

“Mmhmm. Or maybe it was the two bottles of apple juice that you chugged before –”  

That prompted another strangled groan from Charlie’s throat. He pressed his hands against his thighs and locked his elbows. “Please don’t juice-shame me right now.”

“Sorry.” Shayne flinched. He rubbed slow, wide circles into Charlie’s back as the poor boy coughed and spit into the grass. “When did you start feeling sick?”

Charlie carefully straightened his back, smoothing a hand over his belly. Shayne had a strong urge to reach out and do that for him, but there was a steady trickle of people coming and going through the car park. He wasn’t sure Charlie would appreciate the gesture in a public setting, especially when he was feeling like crap.

“Somewhere around the tunnel with all the spinning lights.” Charlie made a nauseated face and drew a circle in the air with his finger. “I think that part messed me up.”

Shayne had to agree, seeing as he’d shut his eyes for most of the tunnel. He gave a sympathetic grunt and put an arm out, so that Charlie could lean into his chest and shoulder if he wanted to.  

He apparently did. His jaw burrowed into Shayne’s collarbone.

“Did you have fun up until that part, at least?”

“I did,” Charlie sighed. His eyes anxiously met Shayne’s in the dark. There was a shadow developing below his eye sockets, and a glazed shine to his blue eyes. Vomiting always took it right out of him.  “Thank - ugh. Thank you for coming with me.”

“You’re welcome.” Shayne frowned and brushed Charlie’s hair back from his eyes. He kept an arm around Charlie’s shoulders and started to guide him the rest of the way to the car. “You gonna be okay to drive us home?”

“Uh-huh. I’m good.” Charlie’s breath hitched and he gulped so hard that Shayne heard it. He looked a little less certain. “M-might have to pull over on the way.”

Shayne idly brushed another few pieces of hay from the sleeve of Charlie’s jacket. “You mean, ‘on the hay’?”

“Shayne.” Charlie sighed as they parted ways, so that he could head for the drivers’ side door. He still had a hand resting against his stomach, and he couldn’t quite straighten his shoulders, but the ghost of a smile crossed his face. 

Shayne pretended to wince. “You’re gonna make me walk home, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, that was the last straw.”

Shayne half-smiled to himself. He slipped a hand into his jacket pocket and felt for that first piece of straw that Charlie had taken out of his hair earlier. He thought about pulling it out and saying that, actually, no, this was the last straw, but he decided to keep that one to himself.

[homo-rashi]

Roommates (Original Work) Ch 3.

The Favor (contains Omorashi)

Read it on my Ao3 here: Link

“That is so totally unfair!” August lays his head back into the plush cushion of the green common room sectional,

“You're right! It's totally not fair! You try being woken up three times a night by fourteen-year-old freshman who can't sleep and still wet the be-” Rowans eyes widen when August visibly tenses at his words. August tries not to look uncomfortable at the mention of anyone wetting the bed but clearly, that didn't work. “Sorry, What I mean is, It's fair to whoever would have been my roommate! Since I'm bunking alone, nobody else has to be bothered by my duties as an RA.”

“But you have your own room! You don't have to deal with a Max…” August brushes past the awkwardness, his need to complain about his last few night living with what he can only describe as a ‘caricature of an American bad boy’

“I have to deal with all thirty of my freshmen dealing with their own ‘Max’. Do you know how many physical fights I’ve had to break up already?” August shrugs, thinking about Rowan having to pull two Freshman off each other like two chihuahuas.

“If Max tried to actually fight me, I'd be a goner.” August thinks out loud. Max is taller than him by a good few inches. He definitely seems like he has more experience, just from the way he talks and acts and looks…

“Well yeah, he’s a whole year older than-” Rowan pauses picking at the bowl of half eaten popcorn in his lap, “Fuck, pretend I didn't just say that.” August immediately cannot pretend he did not just say that.

“Am I the only sophomore rooming with a junior? Why? Would that be a good enough reason to put in a roommate change request?” August immediately has his mind racing with possibility. The faint dream he had in his head of getting a roommate who was a gentle, queer, sciency guy who really liked plants and made their dorm room feel alive and wears little patterned socks with corduroy overalls, flutters in his stomach. The exact opposite of Max. His wardrobe is seemingly all black beside his school uniform. The room is decorated with monster cans and vape residue rather than carefully tended to greenery, and instead of waking up to sunlight, August has woken up to the RGB lights on Max's computer cycling randomly through what he calls ‘disco mode.’

“Max is a sophomore…He just was held back in seventh grade.” August mouth falls into a little oh shape, that makes sense for some reason. He doesn't seem like the type to actually care about school, Not that August really cares all that much, He finds it easy and studying relaxing. A good combo generally when it comes to academics.

“How do you know this? Does being an RA give you like…access to our files???” August asks, suddenly worried that Rowan knows about his water issue and the fact that he has been seeing a shrink since he was 10. Not that either of those things are less embarrassing then everything else he knows at this point, but he would like to keep some things private if possible.

“Oh god, no no no! I wish! I just went to the same middle school as him. He transferred into the class above me in the middle of his seventh year. Everyone thought he was so cool because we were poor public school kids and he was this bad boy private school guy. My friends all had a big crush on him until the next year when we ended up in the same class as him because he flunked or something…I don't really- Listen we have an understanding with each other, I don't tell anyone about that and he doesn't tell anyone that before last year I was a girl called Riley.” Rowan says the last part under his breath, even though They are the only two people in the common room at the moment.

“Is he really holding up his end of the bargain if he called you ‘manboobs’ to my face?” August frowns slightly, feeling like Rowan is getting the short end of the stick in this situation. Trusting someone like Max to keep a secret so big, that you're trans, is way different than a nice person like Rowan keeping the lid on the fact he did bad at multiplication in middle school…

“You probably won't get this but at the end of the day, in my eyes,at least he is calling me a man. I have been called way worse things by way worse guys” That doesn't make August feel any better,

“I-yeah, I don't get it because I'm not out to anyone really, except my Dad and that's only a recent thing…” August wants to help, but has no idea how. He isn't trans. He has never questioned his gender, He has never had a reason too. Of course he knows Trans people exist, but he has never known a trans person on a personal level before, and heard first hand what their struggles are.

“Wait? Really! That's great August! When did you tell him, how did it go???” August smiles slightly at Rowan’s sudden excitement. Seeing him smile after talking about Max for the past hours makes him realize how hyper focused on the whole roommate situation he has been, and that possibly Max isn't a great topic for Rowan.

- Beeeeeeep -

“Well,” August gets up at the sound of the washer finishing its last spin cycle, Rowan idly follows him into the laundry room, “My Mom and Dad just got divorced, or are getting divorced and when my dad found out that my mom…Cheated, He sat me down and was telling me all about how when I get married, and find a wife, or when I get my first girlfriend, going on and on about How I should not let what my mom did affect how I see my relationships with women…So” August pauses to start the loud dryer he just shoved his sheets into, this time having washed them first, thankfully.

“I just nonchalauntly corrected him when he brought up my future wife, by saying ‘or husband.” August smiles recalling the interaction, how his dad mirrored his words ‘or husband’ to which August replied, "definitely husband.”

“And that was it? He took it well?” Rowan asks, smiling wide

“I mean, We didn't talk about it at all after…but he didn't get mad so, yeah I'd say he took it well. What about you? Are your parents cool with…?” August asks, keeping his question vague seeing a group of guys walk past the laundry room door.

“Wanna go to my room? I don't think anyone is gonna actually steal your stuff, for the record.” August nods, admittedly, he has been curious about what Rowan's room actually looks like, being a single and all.

* * * Rowan’s room isn't that different from August's room except for two things. The first being everything is more open and spacious. The bed isn't lofted, instead being at a normal height and the tall wardrobe is replaced with a long dresser with a mirror hanging above it.

The second difference August immediately noticed in the inconspicuous door on the far left of the room that's slightly ajar revealing a private en-suite bathroom.

“You have your own bathroom? What about the one the teachers let you use?” August looks at Rowan, who is leaning down and pulling out two bottles of water from their red retro looking mini fridge.

“That was last year, when I wasn't an RA…why do you think I even applied to be an RA in the first place.” Rowan quirks an eyebrow up with a smirk. August takes the water bottle from him and takes a seat in Rowan’s desk chair adorned with a fluffy blanket.

“You asked me about my parents…” Rowan gets the topic back on track. August set his attention back to Rowan and not how incredibly jealous he is about the room situation. “I don't like anyone knowing that I'm the way that I am…but of course they had to know because they are my parents. It's just-” Rowan hesitates, August feels like what he is trying to say is difficult, so he lets him take his time.

“You don't have to tell me if it's hard to talk about…I know these things can be tough.” August offers him an out,

“That's the thing. My parents were so supportive! They were perfect! I-I don't want to sound ungrateful because I know how privileged I am but my mom specifically made me being trans my everything…Every holiday, some gift is white, pink and blue. Every time she tells me she loves me she has to specify that I'm ‘so brave for doing this.’ That's half the reason I begged to go to boarding school, I just-”

“Wanted to be a guy, not a trans guy?” August caught onto what Rowan is saying, relating to it in a way. “I've felt that. Back home, I had some guy friends, We weren't like close, they didnt know Im gay obviously, but I always felt like they were the guys, so close with each other and I would always just be ‘the gay guy’ even if I didn't tell them, It was obvious i'm different and was treated as such even in small ways…” August doesnt know why he feels comfortable telling all of this to Rowan, but He does, so he is going with it. Anxiety be damned, opening up like this feels better than any of his therapists have ever made him feel.

“You get it. Fuck. You know, I don't feel like that with you. I don't feel like you're other-ing me.” August smiles at that. He honestly was worried he had been acting a bit weird, not fully because of the trans thing, but a little bit, mostly because of his own embarrassment. “I guess I'm glad your parents got divorced.” Rowan jokes, earning a punch in the arm from August. “It's lonely being here…or I guess, it's been lonely, maybe now it won't be.”

August mirrors the sentiment. The first few hours in his dorm alone with Max after the first day was jarring. The things he would say to whoever he was playing his online games with certainly didn't make August feel welcome And he could only hear half the conversation, He could only imagine what else was being said about ‘fags and trannys’ on the other end. Regret seeped deep into his bones regarding the decision to up and leave his Dad and come here. Not to mention waking up the next morning with wet sheets, having to deal with his mess alone with nobody to tell him they would handle it and to go take a bath, like his mom used to, Feeling for the first time since he found out what she did, the need to just have her by his side, was rough.

Today though, he had Rowan who happened to stumble upon him in the laundry room, on the brink of tears because he forgot his student card that he had just loaded with money, the last of his pocket money his dad sent him for the month, in his room. Not the end of the world, but it was just building and building. Rowan offered to pay for it and for him to go shower while everyone was still asleep, without asking any questions or giving any signs of judgment. They sat and watched a movie on mute as the sun came up waiting for the laundry to finish, picking on a bowl of popcorn somebody left in the lounge last night.

“I gotta get back before Max wakes up, I don't want to have to explain why I was doing laundry in the middle of the night.” August jumps off the bed, not really wanting to leave the safe feeling of this room.

“Do you…? have an explanation, I mean? I-I don't want to pry like it's totally none of my business but if you're sick I can help you see the nurse.”

“It's not usually this bad!…I'm just stressed. It's an anxiety thing.” August says honestly. Because it usually isn't every single night, just once or twice a week. Usually. Sometimes…if he is lucky.

“Good ole’ mental health, Anxiety, gotta love her.” Rowan says, lightening the moon. August smiles and leaves, gathering his sheets and making sure the coast is clear before darting up the stairs as quickly as possible. He can now skip two stairs if he concertrains on not falling, greatly improving his travel time.

His dorm is just as quiet and peaceful as when he left it. The one redeeming quality of Max is that he is a very sound sleeper. August manages to make his bed without Max even stirring. He jumps back into bed with no intention of falling back asleep. The quiet of the room is interrupted not even a few minutes later by a harsh vibration against the wooden desk across the room.

August watches threw half open lids Max jumping from his bed and grabbing his phone, still pretending to be asleep.

“Yo-” Max's voice sounds different, deeper and laced with concern, “no. Fuck! I thought-” August is startled by the sudden yelling, He sits up and pretends to rub his eyes, making eye contact with Max instantly. “Just stay there! Don’t move. I have a plan.” Max hangs up the phone and immediately starts rummaging through his wardrobe, shedding his Pajamas without a care in the world that another person is in the room, August looks away out of respect anyways.

“I'm calling in that favor…” Max says sliding a backpack over his left shoulder, slipping his shoes on as he speaks. “I'll explain when I'm back but you just have to go with it.” August just nods, not wanting to protest considering a. Max seems pissed and b. He does owe him for saving his ass on his first day here. Max makes his leave quickly and August is left to worry the entire morning what exactly Max is going to have him do.

* * *

It’s dark by the time Max reappears in the dorm. August had given up waiting for him and spent his day organizing his things and finally calling his dad to tell him all about how wonderful boarding school is. The lingering thought of what he was gonna have to do for Max hung over his head all day. His imagination running wild. Thought of becoming a drug mule, causing his family even more shame then his mother has when he inevitably gets caught or worse, Having to fight someone for him. He would lose instantly. He would only hope he would come out of it alive thanks to modern medicine.

So when Max walks in the door with a second backpack on his shoulder, and a short, brown haired kid holding onto his arm. August was more than a little confused.

“Go. but be quiet and don't touch anything on my friend's side.” Friend? August quirks an eyebrow at Max who motions for him to come over. “You can use my computer but don't message any of my friends.” Max says before pushing August out the door and gently closing it behind them.

“Who is that?” August asks, seriously wondering if the kid is young enough to in fact be Max’s but deciding the math just doesn't add up, even knowing he is a year older.

“What does it look like, Its my fucking little brother.” Max sounds angry, But August can see the dark circles under his eyes and smells something strange on this breath, something he recognizes-

“Are you drunk?” He asks, pulling Max closer and smelling, And yes, He reeks of booze.

“Dont fucking smell me! What the fuck! And yes but- Fuck! Just Shut up and don't ask questions. You have to let him stay here.” For being drunk, Max seems to have a grasp on what he wants, August sighs,

“Why, What happened? Why are you drunk?” August is more than a little concerned. This is not what he signed up for, nor what he expected.

“Wait till the kid falls asleep, then we can talk- He needs food.” Max shoves his hands into his pocket and pulls out a wad of crumpled up dollar bills, shoving them into August's hands.

“Go to the vending machine. It's outside by the teachers' dorms and you can get whatever would be a good dinner for a thirteen-year-old boy.” August stairs down at his hands, then at his shoeless feet. Max must notice because he quickly shoves off his sneakers before returning to the room, August hears a click of the lock.

He slides on Max’s shoes cringing at how warm and sweaty they are on his sockless feet. He makes quick work at getting to the vending machine. Of course once he gets there he realizes it only takes student cards. Luckily after this morning, he is trying to make a habit of always having it on his person. He picks out some mini pretzels and cranberry juice. It was either that or Mini Oreos and a Diet Coke and that didn't seem like all the healthy of a dinner. He hides them in his pockets and stealthily makes his way back into the dorms.

He tries the handle and of course, it's locked. He knocks gently and hears nothing behind the door. He instantly worries that this was some sort of prank and Max just wanted to lock him out so his Brother would have his bed for the night, instantly he panics at that thought, because his brother might notice his special sheet. His worry is dampened when he door clicks open, and a small head peeks out the door.

“You’re Max's friend.” The tired voice says,

“I am, Can I come back inside? I'm not supposed to be out here.” The door swings open and moments later and August walks in, kicking the foul sneaks off into Max’s side of the room, just missing a bundled up pile of blankets and his stuffed shark on the ground.

“Is that your bed?” August asks, taking the food out from his pocket and handing it to the kid, who instantly lights up and grabs at the bag of pretzels.

“Yeah, I think this is yours, Max said you wouldn't mind if I borrowed him for the night.” August smiles at the boy holding the shark in his arms as he takes a large handful of the snack, August realizes the kid is small, for being thirteen. He would have thought he was seven or eight at most. August realizes he needs to know more and since Max, who he has since realized is passed out from the snoring filling the room, might not get a chance to talk to him without his older brother interfering.

“What's your name?” August asks quietly,

“Gray.” The kid answers casually, August is grateful Max did not swear him to secrecy as to not reveal anything to anyone, August sits down on the floor next to him.

“Gray, Can I ask why you are sleeping on our floor?” August asks, holding his tongue as the kid looks up, clearly deep in thought.

“Father was up all night again, so this morning he started early.” Gray says yawning into his drink,

“Started what, Work?” August asks, ignoring the weird feeling he gets from Gray addressing his dad as ‘father’. Gray nods his head,

“Drinking.” Augusts stomach drops slightly, thinking the dad must have a drinking problem, even though he shouldn't, his worry turn to the drunk roomates sleeping in his bed,

“And your brother…does he often drink like your father…?” August asks, but feel slightly guilty using this tired, clearly starving kid for this kind of information.

“No!” Gray suddenly yells, August lunges forward and puts his finger to his lips, pointing at Max, “Max doesn't drink! He hates alcohol, says it tastes like butthole. H-He had to drink with Father today, just this once. Father drinks more in company then goes to sleep, that's when he was able to sneak me out.” Gray says, August feels like more of the pieces have clicked into place.

“Why did you need to sneak out of the house?” August asks,

“Mom has been away for weeks at a conference in Europe, and Father doesn't like to cook or clean or help me with my homework when mom isn't here, so I called Max and he said I could stay here until mom gets back.” Gray says, crumpling up the empty back of pretzels and putting his hand out. August accepted the garbage and got up from the floor, throwing it into the garbage and getting into bed. * * *

“Hey, Pssst! Hey” August was awakened by the feeling of something pointy repeatedly jabbing into his back, “Psssst.” He rolled over at the persistent noise, to find himself face to face with a shaggy mop of brown hair.

“Gray?” August groaned, remembering the child that fell asleep on his floor, looking over at the windows behind his bed, it's still dark outside. “What's up?” August asks, sitting up from bed.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Gray said, in a whisper, August rubbed his eyes and looked around the room, Max was still sleeping face down in his bed, snoring.

“Did you try to ask your brother?” August asks, sleepy,

“Yes, but he won't get up, he is really tired.” August takes a moment for his brain to wake up, remembering Max’s toxic stench last night, he suspects he is even heavier of a sleeper because of the alcohol. August gives in, realizing Max isn't gonna be of any help, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, When he realizes, his pants are dry. Suddenly he is wade awake, patting the sheets as he scoots forward. He confidently jumps off of the lofted bed, feeling relieved, except, the hard wood floors sending a cold sensation up his body forces him to cross his legs.

“Are you okay?” Gray asks, already standing by the door with a pair of Max's slides slipped onto his small feet.

“Uh huh,” August says quietly, waiting for the sudden intense desperation to fade. He didn't wake up in wet sheets, because he hasn't pissed himself, yet…but he was close to doing it now. August looks to Gray, who was shifting slightly where he was sitting and decided he needed to pull himself together and get them both to the bathroom.

“Let's go, and remember to be quiet, everyones sleeping.” August said, pulling his thighs as far apart as needed to walk. Forgoing shoes all together because bending down to grab his slippers from his wardrobe would not end well with the current state of his bladder.

Thankfully, their hallways are empty. August can't imagine its past four in the morning. August can't imagine anything except for walking up to the urinal, pulling himself out just above his sweatpants and releasing the nights worth of pee that was once destined to be in his sheets. How amazing it will feel to have his pee go where it belongs, the warm liquid running down his leg- August brain lost if though is suddenly jolted to his current predicament, from a warm drop of pee running down the inside of his sweatpants as his foot took its first step down the stairs.

Immediately, August stopped. Throwing both his hands between his legs, letting out a painful whine, practically feeling his pee go back up inside of him. He would have let go completely if he didn't snap back to reality.

“Do you have to go pee?” August turns his head to see Gray standing behind him on the stairs with a confused look on his face.

“Yeah, I guess I do.” August could almost laugh if he didnt think it would cause him to lose the battle. A battle he is determined to not lose in front of his scary roommate's younger brother.

“Come on, let's hurry then. It's not good to wait till the last second. Father always yelled at me and Max for doing that when we were little.” August doesnt have time to react before Gray is grabbing his arm at the elbow, forcing him to keep walking down the many flights of stairs.

August is grateful while cleaning earlier he decided to put on his darkest pair of gray sweatpants because by the time he reaches the bottom of the stairs going at Gray's pace, a wet patch the size of a grapefruit is under his hands, but it's not that noticeable. August takes over leading the way, making the fastest turn of his life and walking his way down to the bathroom, hunched over, just trying to make the final stretch.

August goes in and Gray turns right, towards where the showers are. August wants to just ignore him, run to the urinals and then help the kid find his way, but he decides against it,

“Gray! The stalls are over here.” August yells, and waits a few seconds. Gray comes running back,

“Oops,” He says, walking fastly past August and going into the first stall that comes into view. August thanks every god imaginable he chose a stall and not the urinal. The door at least will create some sense of privacy.

August walks up to the urinal and relives his earlier fantasy, pulling himself out, although it's not exactly the same considering everything down there is a lot wetter than he was imagining it. He waits a few seconds and nothing happens. He can hear the sound of Gray fussing about with something in the stall and he can feel his body wanting to lock up, but he pushes down on all his muscles. He was about to piss his pants walking here and now his body won't go? He won't allow it.

“Please?” August begs under his breath, a small trickle erupts into the urinal, but it doesn't continue. “Come on.” August says to himself, a little louder.

“I'm almost done, sorry…” He hears Gray yell from the stall, immediately, he feels a sharp pain in his stomach, A cramp, his body is fully locked up.

“It's okay, I mean, Take your time.” August yells back, pulling himself away from the Urinal and turning around. The sight of it makes his insides feel like they are twisting. He shoves his hands back between his legs, tears coming to his eyes. It's painful. He almost just wishes he could lay in bed and fall asleep, if it meant he could pee.

To make matters worse he feels ridiculous. He can't pee because a single person is in the bathroom? That single person being a kid who isn't even paying attention to him? He wants to scream but he doesn't, seeing as a toilet flushing filled his ears, followed by Gray, emerging from the stall, adjusting his basketball shorts. He turns on the water to wash his hands and August has to bend forward again, to keep it all inside, He knows he is losing time, but he can't go here, his body has made up its mind and it would take way too long to take a shower and try to make his body go from the water. August realizes he has one choice but he doesn't like it.

“Why do you look like you still need to pee?” Gray asks, August didn't even realize the water had shut off,

“I-uh, Can you stay here, I need to go get something in the common room. Don't move. I'll come back and we can-'' August cant even finish his sentence, He is bolting out the bathroom door. He feels himself leak the second he is out of there, his anxious brain already feeling safer outside of the deemed unsafe to pee room that you're supposed to pee in. Within seconds he finds himself in front of Rowans door, frantically knocking and dancing where he stands.

“Hello, what's the problem?” Rowan says sleepy, August cant even feel bad for waking him up,

“Please!” August says through his teeth,

“August?” Roman finally opens his eyes slightly, “What's wrong? Did you forget your student card again?”

“No, I-Can I use your, ah, Im- Oh-” August cant even speak. He can only dance, with both his hands between his legs,

“Oh my god, Yes, wait!? Is there something wrong with the main bathroom? Oh god, it didn't flood again did it?” Rowan looks out past August down the hallway, blocking his way into the room.

“Rowannnn!” August groans, feeling a large, uncontrollable jet of piss slip past his iron tight grip. “Oh- I'm peeing!” August screeches, pushing past Rowan, It's not stopping, He can feel it running down his legs, He feels it on his feet, knowing its leaving a train behind him as he finally makes it into the bathroom. He doesn't see a urinal, but a toilet with the seat down. Not having time to put it up, not trusting his ability to aim when he has to go so badly, He rushes over, pulls down his pants and slams himself down on the toilet.

“Fuck.” He feels tears fall from his eyes as his body fully unlocks, warm piss pooling around his ass- “Oh no, no no no.” August looks down to reveal his blue and green plaid boxers, still on as he is viciously peeing through them.

“Uh, Everything okay in there?” August looks up to see Rowan, standing at the open door with his hand over his eyes. Still peeing, knowing the mess he made outside, leading all the way to the toilet, there is no hiding this one.

“No. uh ... I might need your help, give me a second though.” August cringes as he says it, feeling like a little kid who didn't make it to the potty on time. He slowly lets his body empty at its own pace, not watching to risk using any of his muscles down there to speed things up, in case they get the wrong signal again and lock up. When he finally finishes he stands up and awkwards pulls his sweatpants off of his feet, feeling how wet they are. “You can come in.” August says quietly, the slow creak of the door hinges follows.

“What happened?” Rowan says, walready grabbing a hand towel from the rack by the sink and throwing it onto the ground, dragging it with his feet to sop up the pale yellow trail of piss on the tiles leading up to August.

“It's a long story.” August says, not wanting to look Rowan in the eyes.

“Does it start with why there is a small child sitting on my bed?” Rowan asks, and August immediately looks at him, Eyes wide, all embarrassment temporarily forgotten.

“I-He, its- I can explain!” August says, His life flashing before his eyes. How Max is going to kill him for getting his stowaway caught.

“You can explain after you get changed, You can borrow some of my sweatpants, do you need boxers too?” August looks down, then back at Rowan,

“I'll go commando, but uh, a laundry bin for my..” August points to his lower half. Rowan nods and disappears into his bedroom before reappearing with a pair of black sweat pants and a plastic hamper.

“Take you time. I'll take care of the kid.” Rowan says, closing the door. August breaks the second he is alone. Thinking how this was far worse than being caught with wet sheets...

[lyricalchrysanthemum]

The Truth Only I Know

(Read on AO3)

Lucas is a smart kid, everyone can see it even by only knowing him for an hour. He would have to be smarter than most other kids his age to be Professor Rowan’s aide after all, even with the connection his father has to him. But his vast wealth of knowledge is astounding for a kid only thirteen, pouring over his pokedex and feverishly taking notes while following the Professor like a lost puppy. Lucas was proud of his knowledge of Pokemon, able to recite small fun facts about Pokemon every now and then to those two strange kids.

Lucas couldn’t quite wrap his head around Barry and Dawn, honestly. Barry was a loudmouth, running every which way and bumping heads with those who had the misfortune of being in his path. Dawn was the opposite, a gloomy, low-energy girl with no apparent interests outside of collecting interesting rocks she finds on her path. And while he thought they were strange, he admired them. They weren’t smart like him, but they were powerful, talented trainers. This was evident in the first battle he saw from them, fighting off those Starly as though they knew what they were doing. And they had this chemistry together, a kind that seemed unshakable, one that made him almost feel intrusive when they came together as a trio.

Sure Barry likes to grab him by the hand and run, leading him to whatever catches his eyes, and Dawn likes to sit him down and care for his injuries even when he insists it’s just a scratch, but he can’t ever be a part of them as a group. The way they can just talk about anything. The way they are always on the same page. The way they know everything and anything about each other. It’s the childhood aspect, a part of their life he’ll never be in.

He likes Barry and Dawn, he wants to be their friend, but he can’t be with the two the way they already are, he decides.

It starts feeling lonely though, not being a part of what they have. They’re one of the few constants he has on his journey, not including Professor Rowan and his Pokemon pals, after all. So despite how happy it made him feel, having Barry dragging him around and Dawn following close behind with a rare smile, he began to drown himself in knowledge, avoiding them. He’d spend so much time in ruins and libraries, reading and learning until it hurt his brain.

But then an older man told him he knew nothing, that his definition of knowledge was a sham, and everything that defined him shattered.

It shouldn’t have meant anything, he was a stranger after all! But the way he said it, the way his eyes pierced through Lucas’s soul, and his final words to him being, “Anyone could know what you do, your definition and wealth of knowledge is a disappointment to this world we live in.” It shook him to his core, and then he just… walked away. It made his blood cold, and it would ring incessantly in his head.

Dawn and Barry finding him in the ruins with such a shooken up expression obviously concerned them, the girl grabbing his hand and the boy asking who he has to fight for his sake. Yet he could only reassure them that he was okay, feeling bad for making them worry in the first place. It made him feel warm.

They’re good friends.

But that incident made him question things, question his thoughts, question if what he did best was even that impressive. Did he even have a single inkling of worth in this world? And then he’s told he’s the definition of it by the Champion, THE person said to have the most spiritual connection to this world.

It didn’t make sense. It hurt his head even more. Now he’s having migraines every day, every second. How could Uxie even be fond of him?

And in his first encounter with Uxie, he asks, “Why did you choose me?” “What must I know?” “What should I seek?” But it does not answer. Instead it just flies away, not giving him even a minute to try and chase after it. And every other encounter, it just leaves him with more questions, more headaches.

It almost felt insulting when, in trying to protect Uxie from Team Galactic, he tripped and broke his glasses. Overhearing Saturn laugh and calling him and Uxie a fool for thinking they could protect the knowledge of this world. And then Barry goes with him and he can only stare as he sees the teary, yet confident eyes of the blonde, and hears Dawn scream and yell for him not to go.

In his search for things only he could know, he forgot he was supposed to protect this world. He then questions if it was even smart for Uxie to rest this role on him when he’s so young. Shouldn’t he have been laughing? Playing? Not searching for the keys to this world? Not searching for why humanity exists? Trying to fill his Pokedex with Professor Rowan?

What happened to him?

He moves his hand to reach for the thermos hooked onto Dawn’s bag, clipping it off while she sobs. He doesn’t know what else to do, so he pushes the still warm hot chocolate into her hands. She looks shocked at first, before Lucas pulls her into the first hug he gave anyone that wasn’t his family.

And they cry together.

Lucas is shocked this gave them both comfort.

Everything after was… a mess. And coming awake from the distortion world left him feeling empty more than anything, outside of the burning mark ever ingrained in his body in the form of the adamant orb on the back of his leg.

He still didn’t know anything. The man who left him with these questions was gone and probably won’t ever return. The lake trio didn’t leave them with anything. All that he has left is the aforementioned adamant orb that burns whenever anything touches it, and the ever present memories of begging to gods that won’t answer their plea to bring back their friend who was killed by childhood innocence and selfish adults.

He wonders if Giratina was feeling generous then, or annoyed maybe, seeing their teary eyes and praying hands. Or maybe it wanted to show up it’s creator, after seeing the empty, horrified look of its favorite after it denied life to its child.

He would toss and turn in his bed for months, sitting in libraries, studying the caves and temples, and not a single answer came to him. But when he sees Dawn with such a listless look after a childhood lost, and Barry with a body ever so cold, he wonders if things could’ve been different if he was simply smarter.

So he steps up to the one other possible person who would know. An archaeologist, a champion, and most importantly, Arceus’s chosen.

The two meet in a library, Lucas approaching first while Cynthia was reading a book on astronomy. She didn’t seem bothered by him approaching.

With her curiosity, he asks, “Mrs. Cynthia, am I worth being Uxie’s chosen one? I’m Professor Rowan’s aide, and I’m one of the smartest kids my age, but- if I was Uxie’s favorite… wouldn’t I- wouldn’t I know things no one else would?” The tears start coming out, and he can’t stop sniffling “Like- I should be a wealth of knowledge, but I don’t know anything except for pokemon trivia. Even after we went to the distortion world I feel like I know less than what I do now. So what should I know? What is the only thing I know?”

Cynthia stares at him and his crying face, before she stands up from her chair and closes her book. She then kneels in front of the boy, and gently holds both of Lucas’s hands in hers. Her hands are so warm, and they wrap around his own fully. He almost feels like they’re being held gently by a mother.

“Arceus blessed us with the gift of the earth, creating not just us, but our water, land, and skies. However, in order to help maintain this earth, it entrusted certain Pokemon with concepts and domains. The Lake Trio are no different. When Azelf, Mespirit, and Uxie flew, they each gave us a gift. You’re a smart boy, do you remember what those gifts are?”

Lucas, through his sniffling and tears, mumbles, “Willpower, emotion, and knowledge.”

Cynthia nods, “Mhm, but you want to know why they’re so important?”

Lucas thinks for a second, of course they’re important. But he just never really thought about why he had those three things. So he shakes his head.

She lets go of his right hand, pointing at the hand she just let go of, “Mespirit gifted us the feeling we exist…” She then points at his heart, “...Azelf gifted us the will to exist…” and then she points at his head, where his brain is, “...and Uxie gifted us the knowledge we exist.”

“These are the three keys to not just humanity’s, but the entire world’s existence. Even the grass we stand on has these three things.” Cynthia says with a gentle smile, letting her hand travel to Lucas’s teary eyes to remove his glasses with that same gentleness, wiping his falling tears with a hand. “Not everyone can know the keys to this world, not everyone can know every single detail, and not everyone can know the things you do. We don’t have to know nor understand everything. Simply knowing that we live, and understanding the people and things around you live just like you do, is enough.”

She gives Lucas’s smaller hand a gentle squeeze. “I may not be Uxie’s chosen one like you are, but I think it wants the entire world, but most of all you, to understand that. And I think you, out of everyone, deep down, already know that.”

Lucas sniffles more, before dissolving into full on bawls. He lets the gentle hand of Cynthia comfort him as he cries.

"You still have ways to grow up Lucas, and even if you don't think you fit being Uxie's chosen, I know you'll grow into into a person worthy of the title it in your own eyes."

A third voice enters the conversation, one he's grown to adore and find comfort in, "Barry and I already think you do."

He turns around to see Dawn standing with her hands behind her back, giving him that rare smile that makes him feel so warm.

“Wanna go visit Barry with me…? You can ask him for yourself.” she asks, before turning away. “It’s not the same when it’s just us two,” she mumbles. She offers Lucas a hand, the one with the lustrous orb ingrained in the back. Cynthia lets go of his hand and moves both of them to her lap. And then Lucas takes hold of Dawn’s, letting her lead the way.

He notes Dawn doesn’t flinch in pain when he grabs it. Just as the grass grazing the adamant orb in the back of his leg doesn’t hurt anymore.

And when he sees Barry in his room lighten up when he sees the other two, despite the scar in his head and the griseous orb in his neck, and Lucas starts laughing with the other two, the everso smart child of knowledge decides.

He may not know everything, but he does know one truth only he could know: he knows that being with the other two is where he belongs.

[insecateur]

Ok I heard you say somewhere you also like professor birch so i'm very curious to ask your opinion on the mainline pokemon profs

Also damn you, you are lowkey making me want to practice my french again

yes!! birch is my favorite pokémon prof actually :^) i haven't drawn him in so long i would like to draw him again at some point... and maybe write something about him also...

i'm so sorry that i'm inspiring you to get back into the cursed hell language that is french. i'm (somehow) picking up writing in french again and remembering all of our nightmare tenses is filling me with dread

opinions on mainline pokémon profs (chronological order)

putting it under a cut just so it's not too annoying LMAO

oak: i like him a lot!! i love that he has such a stocky build... he's so THICK in pokémas it's so funny. he's the OG obviously so you gotta respect that but i do just like him in general.

elm: he was actually my favorite pokémon prof as a kid... i loved him in the anime, there was something about him being so tsundere about oak lmao. i like that he is a nerd and i like that his area of expertise is pokémon eggs, i think it's cute!

birch: MY BELOVED... i think birch needs more love... he is My Type. (beard. kind of a mess.) i find the way he seems to get attacked by wild pokémons a lot very moe. my headcanon is that he was apprentice pokémon prof alongside sycamore and maybe... they had a thing together... (i would like to write about it someday perhaps...)

rowan: oji-san... i like his mustache... obviously he's augustine's mentor so i like him. if i were learning to become a pokémon prof under prof rowan i would simply have a crush on him... it's inevitable... also i like that he's very outwardly stern and serious which contrasts with the previous profs who are more chill.

juniper: my gen5 knowledge is lacking bc it's the region that interests me the least but i do like her! her area is interesting and i like that her dad is also a pokémon prof. i remember liking her when i played bw (did not play b2w2 sadly)

sycamore: nasty man. never seen this guy in my life. would not trust him ever. j/k I WAS VERY NEGATIVE ABOUT HIM AT FIRST... he kind of checks all the cliché french guy boxes which annoyed me at the time LOL but obviously i have Come Around. i like the subtleties of his personality! i wish he had played a bigger role in the games tbh

kukui: my second favorite... i drew SO MUCH art of him when sumo was first announced. i like that he is basically the chillest guy but also very dedicated to what he's passionate about, which funnily enough is opposite to what sycamore is into (i.e. battling) HIM LIKE... letting pokémons use their moves on him to study them. absolute chad. also he's hot

magnolia: i'm so sad she's basically a non-entity in the games lol we finally got a new female prof and... well. i know it's because she's basically About To Let Sonia Take Over The Mantle but it makes me sad... i feel like pokémon has a bunch of older ladies and i wish they could get bigger roles!

sonia: idk if she counts??? she's listed as a mainline prof on the bulbapedia page so i'll say she counts. i like her! i actually really liked the whole storyline where hop realizes he wants to become a pokémon prof and he starts studying under her etc... it was very sweet. also i like her design. her 6* EX in pokémas looks gooood

laventon: I LOVE LAVENTON SO MUCHHHH HE'S SOOO CUTE i love his bobble hat... i love his fashion sense... legitimately one of my favorite PLA characters i've been meaning to draw him for ages and still haven't because my brain is too busy rotating the two same french men over and over

cannot really say much about the new profs for the next gen because we don't know anything about them LOL i love the past/future theming though. they are both hot and i appreciate that. i like that turo is wearing a futuristic skin-tight suit—

[aria0fgold]

Thinking a little bit more about Fairytale Curse AU specifically about Aubrey and Basil for the prompt and I got proper ideas for them!

In the AU, Aubrey and Basil didn’t meet until 16 years old so Aubrey’s first friends are the Hooligans + Rowan. Flower is in the AU too as Rowan’s older brother.

Aubrey wasn’t originally cursed. The ones that did end up getting a curse were the Hooligans and surprisingly enough, Bunbun as well cuz she was around them when the event happened (Rowan was carrying her around). So then we now have a little girl that was originally a bunny and 6 kids turned into dwarves due to the Seven Dwarves Curse.

Bigger problem also is the fact that they couldn’t move at all because where there are seven dwarves, there should be a snow white but there wasn’t any around them during that time so until Aubrey found the group, they were just frozen in place like statues.

Aubrey willingly became Snow White, extending the curse to her and turning the group to normal but whenever they enter a forest they become dwarves again! As long as Aubrey is around whenever they’re dwarves, they don’t turn into statues. It’s a mild curse that isn’t as troublesome, as long as the group stays clear of forests they’ll be fine, although Aubrey has to always avoid any apples. To be on the safer side, she also avoids any dish that contains apples in it. (Even flavored drinks, she doesn’t want to take any chances.)

<>

Polly, Basil’s grandma, Flower, and Rowan were the only ones living in the house. Flower once taught Basil’s grandma wood carving, she would make little dolls out of wood. She made one that she poured as much love and care into, even going so far as to traverse the forest nearby to look for a pretty golden flower to use as a material for the hair. It just so happens that the flower is a magical one.

Basil doesn’t particularly have a curse, he’s a Wooden Rapunzel (combined Pinocchio and Rapunzel’s story ehe. Thought it’d be neat.) A wooden doll with pretty long golden hair, he came to life one day and became a part of the family. The only thing that can be considered a curse for Basil is the fact that his lifeline is connected to the gold flower on his head (the colour helps it blend with his hair!). And although he knows it isn’t much of a curse, he finds the fact that he’s a wooden doll unfair. Much like Pinocchio, he wants to be real one day. (Unlike Pinocchio though, his nose doesn’t grow when lying. But small branches and flowers would suddenly grow out of his body whenever flustered, Polly and Flower has to personally cut those. It seems he’s only like that towards Aubrey, he sure is confused as to why.)

[engbergsinfinland]

When we kept past travel blogs, I typically posted everyday, which was a great way for me to stay on top of what we'd done and remember the names of places we went and all our details! Now that I'm only posting to this one twice a week, I feel like I'm forgetting and leaving out so much! I'll do my best to capture a little bit of what we've done since last Friday.

Over the weekend the weather wasn't very cold. But, there were periods of nice sunshine; however, rain storms kept popping up. Once on Saturday, while I was on an outing with Alex, we got caught in a big rainstorm and had to take shelter in the central market square under a cafe umbrella. It was just pouring. But they had a large screen TV that was showing the Olympics, so at least we were entertained.

I'm not sure if I mentioned that we live right across the street from the main train station in a old building, on a street called Ratautienkatu (which means like "train station street"), on the top floor, in a very nice three-bedroom apartment, which Tampere University is providing for us. There are buses and trams readily available both on our street and right around the corner, on the main drag (Hämeenkatu). All the shopping anyone could ever want is available just out our doorstep. There are also many nice restaurants all around and some really happenin' bars on the ground floor of our building; beer-drinking seems to be going on at one of the bars from the earliest hours we've been out, like 9 a.m. (no we haven't gone out very early yet; that's about to change!). We discovered that those can be quite noisy over the weekend. But with the double windows all Finnish buildings have, most of the noise is kept out, except for the booming bass, which seemed to go until after 5:00 a.m. on Saturday morning. We all had a bit of a rocky go of it with sleeping over the weekend. I did the best of all of us. It was more a jet-lag thing than it was a nightclub-interference thing.

Basically, over the weekend, we had lots of running around to do. While our apartment has all of the basics we might need, there were lots of things we knew we would need to get when we got here. The kids were desperate, for example, to get rollerblades and we needed to get them some back-to-school supplies. My childhood friend Ryley, who lives in Norway, tipped me off to the fact that her kids just go to school with a backpack and their pencil box. I knew our kids would not need to take much, but I wasn't hip to this pencil-box concept. I looked up a woman on WhatsApp who I had communicated with through the "English-speaking Mums in Tampere" Facebook group, whose kids will go to my kids' school, and I contacted her. She told me that back to school information was sent last week through the school's app (Wilma), but we were not yet associated with the app, so I was totally in the dark! She explained to me what was needed and then the kids and I went to this adorable bookstore/stationery store (Suomalainen Kirjakauppa, which means "Finnish Bookshop"), in one of the malls nearby and asked the employee there to help us determine what they would need for a pencil box. Cece brought a snap box from home and she filled it with all of her school supplies that she had, and Rowan got a new black zipper pouch. I think we're all set in the pencil box department now! 🙃

Other weekend highlights were me going to a used sewing machine store where the older woman that ran it only spoke Finnish. That was a real adventure. The least expensive used machine she had was a 1970 Husqvarna Viking (similar to this one, but all tan, not brown) with interchangeable cams. It was so amazing. But it weighed like 100 lb, so it wasn't practical. But it was really neat to think about it and to watch some YouTube videos about that amazing machine. We also went to a really cool flea market and didn't buy anything, but they had some neat pitchers with pour spouts (like this, but purple) designed by Kaj Franck, who I actually mention in a book chapter of the project I'm working on right now. And finally we went to an all-you-can-eat sushi buffet, and it was incredible. Perhaps I'm just paranoid but at places that are all-you-can-eat buffets, I always worry that I'm going to get food poisoning, but we all cleared that hurdle with no issues. We also did several long walks and checked out where the kids school is. So relieved to know where that is!

Finally, on Monday, we went first-thing to a skate shop that happens to be in the lower level of a woman's house and we got the kids' ice skates for the season (the first brand-new skates they've ever had!). They started with their ice skating club yesterday (Varala-Tiimi) and had a great first session. It was really exciting for them to get going and to meet some other kids. Cece already made a friend who speaks some English and Rowan showed everyone how much zip he has, in the off-ice training ❤️

As for Eric, he's already worked out, gone swimming in a lake twice, gone swimming in the lovely public pool, and gone running. I have corresponded with my colleagues and will meet with one this week! Today is Tuesday and since it is the last summer-break day before school starts, we started it off at the pool and now we're heading to skating training.

A few quick observations: 1) we still can't register for anything (like a cell phone plan or a bank account) without our Finnish ID number and that'll be 4-6 weeks; 2) the weather has been incredible today, sunny and in the 70s; just delightful, 3) as we knew but are now experiencing everyday, the public transportation is incredible.

More in a few days! Take care, everyone 💝

[casspurrjoybell-27]

Our Hearts Collide - Chapter 34 - Part 2

*Warning - Adult Content*

Vince

Simon's hand reached out to mine on the counter, interlocking. Rowan giggled and placed his hand atop ours, eliciting a laugh from us both.

Rowan went back to eating his plate of fruit and diced chicken with the help of Simon when Rowan would accidentally knock it off his plate and when Rowan seemed interested in something from our plate, Simon would patiently cut it into small pieces for him to try.

When Rowan didn't like it, Simon would feed it to me as he did with Rowan, mockingly saying 'ahh.'

Rowan would giggle before picking at the rest of his fruit.

"Thank you," I found myself saying to Simon.

"For what?" I shrugged.

"Everything. This is nice. Including you feeding me like that."

Simon laughed.

"Very well, shall I make Choo Choo sounds too while I feed you?"

"Yes," I said sarcastically.

"I require all the train and airplane sounds."

His nose crinkled.

"You dork."

"Don't you mean, your dork?"

He rolled his eyes before leaning in for a kiss, saying against my lips...

"Yes, my dork."

Rowan let out a squeal before pressing his palm to his lips.

"Muah."

*********

After taking care of the dishes and a plethora of Rowan's little 'muahs' Rowan wanted to show off all his toys that he had, scattering them on the floor and bringing them to me.

When he let his prized teddy bear remain in my lap during our pretend tea party, I couldn't help but look at Simon with that same pout he had worn earlier.

Rowan was too cute for his own good, so much so that I almost didn't want him to grow up, having a small and forever cute Rowan around would be adorable.

Not that he couldn't be cute and adorable when he was older but I had a feeling Rowan would be a force to be reckoned with.

Rowan was already strong for a one-year-old.

Seeing how much strength resided in such a tiny body, watching as he'd lift his little chair and table or push his box of toys around, was remarkable.

While werewolves tend to grow at an accelerated rate, I was surprised to see how steady Rowan was on his feet, walking from couch to couch, pulling himself up one with minimal help.

It made me wonder what Rowan would be like when he grew older.

While Arthur and Aspen's blood would indicate that Rowan would likely be stronger than most, it was more his personality that I wondered about.

Would he be as stubborn or intimidating as Aspen or kind and reserved like Arthur?

Or would he be more like Sarah, who was a mix of both?

Either way, I was sure Rowan could be anything he wanted and he'd have an army of support from his family and friends, me and Simon included but for now, I'd gladly watch as he grew into the person he'd become.

Even if that meant one day, he'd no longer see me in the same light as he does now and with Lilah's growing curiosity, I feared both of Xavier's kids would feel the same way.

It was best to cherish this while I could, so I did.

"You think he'd tired himself out yet?" Simon asked, his hand placed on my lower back.

"It's almost bath time."

I smiled back, removing the pile of other stuffed animals Rowan had gifted me in front of me.

"I sure hope so. He's tiring me out by just watching him."

Simon got up and pressed a kiss against my temple.

"I'll clean up in here if you want to help grab his clothes from his room."

I nodded, sneaking in a quick kiss against his cheek.

"Rowan, it's bath time, bub," I told him, extending my hands out to him.

"Let's get your change of clothes."

In Rowan fashion, he was surprisingly complacent, scrambling to my arms like bath time was a fun adventure.

Lilah and Jonah were the complete opposites when they were younger, almost like dragging two feral cats into a tub.

Whatever sorcery Aspen and Sarah had managed to use, I was eternally grateful.

Rowan clutched my neck as we went down the hall to his room, decorated in dinosaurs and safari animals, a mix of both because Sarah had said she couldn't decide and it turned out Rowan loved both.

He especially loved the elephants, bears and brachiosaurus.

I set him down, checking to see if Aspen or Sarah had laid out an outfit for Rowan on the bed but it appeared they trusted me or rather Simon, to dress him.

Simon would've probably been better at choosing colors that matched or something more comfortable but he was still tackling the mess we, mostly Rowan, made in the living room.

"Alright, Rowan," I preened.

"How about I let you decide what to wear and see if your other Un-un approves?"

He made a noise that sounded like he agreed and I shrugged, heading to the closet, only to realize it was filled with even more toys and stuffed animals.

Rowan giggled as he stumbled to the other side of the room toward the dresser, as if he knew exactly where to go for his clothes.

He tugged on the bottom handle, almost managing to open it fully.

He tried to crawl inside before reaching for the second and third handles above him.

Assuming he was trying to pick his own clothes or grab another blanket, I let him be, awed at how much energy this kid still had in him.

After hours of playtime and no intermittent nap, I didn't understand.

It wasn't until his little hands managed to reach the top drawer did I realize the problem too late.

It played out like some sped-up video in my head, watching as the dresser came crashing down on Rowan.

Call it some sort of premonition or an overactive imagination, I had little time to dwell on it.

My body just reacted.

It happened so quickly that I didn't register the pain, nor did I register the sound of the dresser hitting my head and back.

My hands wrapped around the one-year-old as I felt my legs buckle from the dresser's weight.

If I couldn't manage to keep it upright, I couldn't let it slip and hit Rowan.

All I could think was I needed to protect Rowan, even if that meant getting crushed by a dresser.

[queent365]

Two Hearts Unspoken

She knew it was now or never. She had been hiding her feelings for far too long since the day on the playground when the older kids bullied her. Since then, they swore to protect each other, but now she must decide whether to continue protecting their friendship or risk it for a chance to reveal her heart.

Standing on the steps overlooking the beautiful garden they helped his mother build; she scanned the crowd of people looking for a familiar face.

There he was, in the center of it all, as always, speaking with those around him with such interest despite how uninteresting they all were. His polite smile shone through the crowd. He was always popular not because of how handsome he was but because of his genuine kindness.

Her heart began to race; she hadn't seen him in almost eight months. His work took him across the country. No one knew when he would be back, she should have told him then, but fear got the best of her. He looked just as handsome as the day he left, maybe even more so. He seemed to have grown out his black hair and his beard. It gave him a rugged look, but that didn't bother her.

But now is the time. Right now, in her face, is yet another chance to say what she has always wanted to say. She was not going to let it fly away.

He looked up from his current conversation and spotted her. She stood atop the stairs, her fawn skin shimmering in the sunlight. Her strawberry-blonde hair was much shorter than he remembered. She was smiling at him, and he could not help the blinding smile that grew on his face. He waved at her. He hadn't seen her since he turned his back towards her and left the country. At times he regretted it. The days that went without seeing her were weirdly excruciating, so much so that it made him wonder. But he couldn't dwell on that. She was his best friend, nothing more.

He excused himself and made his way toward her. The closer they got to each other, the faster their heartbeat—one with excitement, another with fear.

"Hi," both said simultaneously as they finally reached each other. "Rowan, It's been so long," he breathed out, his smile growing more prominent. She nodded, giving a small smile. Though she was excited to see him, she was afraid. Afraid of rejection, of ruining their friendship, of losing him altogether. She didn't know if he felt the same way about her or even noticed her feelings toward him. Everyone but him knew of her feelings, some before she knew herself.

Her eyes seemed to find the floor, and her hands trembled ever so slightly, and even though she tried to hide it, he noticed. He went to ask her if she was okay, but she spoke before he could.

"I have something to tell you, Finn" his eyebrows raised in interest, and he gave her a nod to continue.

She took a deep breath. "I know this is crazy and maybe weird, but I must tell you. We've been friends for so long, and you are the most important person in my life. I can't stand losing you, so telling you this scares me to my core."

She looked up, and he felt taken aback by what he could see behind her hazel-green eyes. A storm was whirling there. He could see the fear, the uncertainty. He could see the love. He had looked into those eyes so many times before, and he longed to see what he was seeing now behind them. But he never did, or maybe he never noticed.

He gasped softly, realizing what she now means to say. She can't say it. He can't let her. Before he could stop her, she blurted out.

"I love you, not as a friend but more. I've loved you since college; actually, I've loved you since we were kids" her shoulders relaxed as the weight of the words she had been carrying around for so long finally went.

He didn't know what to say; he couldn't say anything. His face was frozen. The broad smile that once lay there was now gone.

She felt her heart drop, and her stomach sank. She asked in a shaking voice, "Well, are you not gonna say anything?" She tried to search his face for answers of any kind but found nothing.

"Babe! There you are, was looking everywhere for you," A beautiful woman with umber brown skin that glowed as bright as the smile she wore. She ran towards the two frozen statues, unaware of what had just transpired between the two. She jumped on Finn and kissed his cheek. Like a true love kiss awakening the princess, Finn snapped out of his trance and wrapped his arms around the woman.

The woman turned toward Rowan. "Oh my goodness, I'm sorry I did not see you there. Hi, I'm Anya, Finn's wife," she spoke as she stretched her hands out. Rowan remained frozen. She couldn't believe it. Wife! She looked up at Finn, but he wouldn't look at her.

"Finn, I didn't know you got married," She spoke softly.

Anya dropped her hand, now feeling the thickness of the tension, and her smile faded. She knew who this was. Finn had talked about her so many times that she felt she had known her since the beginning."You must be Rowan. It's nice to meet you finally. Finn's talked about you non-stop," she said, lips in a thin line.

Rowan's eyes grew hot as she fought back the tears. She was too late. Finn finally looked at her; his chest tightened upon finding her eyes glazed over with threatening tears. He felt his throat closing up as he, too fought back the tears.

If only she had told him this months ago, maybe if he had told her he loved her as well, this wouldn't be happening. He held his secret close to himself to avoid ruining their friendship and hurting her. He ended up doing so anyways. He never knew she felt this way; he never noticed. It was too late now. He abandoned his feelings for her the moment he left the country. No matter how much his heart wanted to scream its love for her, he also loved Anya. Since he met her three months ago, he knew she was who he would spend the rest of his life with.

 His arms around Anya tightened as he cleared his thought " Yea, It's been kind of a crazy whirlwind. We loved each other so much and just couldn't wait. I'm sorry I didn't tell you," he got out before his voice cracked. He looked down at Anya, her amber eyes crinkling at the corner with a significant smile as he proclaimed their love.

Rowan chuckled as a single tear escaped. "Wow, congratulations. I'm really happy for you," She said, wiping the tear away. "I should get going. It was nice meeting you, Anya, and welcome back, Finn. I will see you later" She turned and walked away quickly, refusing to give either of them a chance to respond. The tears continued to fall one by one, faster and faster.

Finn couldn't help as his tears began to fall. As he watched Rowan walk away, he knew it would be the last time he would see her. That may be for the best. He made his choice, and he would stick by her. He wiped his tears and leaned down to kiss Anya softly. Without a word, they walked back into the crowd, a wave of understanding transpiring between them.

As Rowan reached a safe place in her home that was a mere two houses down from Finn's, her legs gave out on her, and she fell to the floor. A loud cry of anguish escapes her lips, her voice echoing in the empty house. Her tears rushed down her face and stained her clothes. Her chest tightens with the realization that she has lost her best friend. The person she loved the most. "No, no, no," she cried out, her breath coming out in shorts. If only she hadn't been so afraid. She started to beat on her chest. The pain was just too much to bear. She did it. She risked it all, but at what cost? She inadvertently lost it all.

[rowanaelinn]

Slipped away - chapter one

prompt - single parent @rowaelinscourt

“It’s cold,” Fenrys complained, sitting on Rowan’s new couch.

“We are in the north, you dumbass.” Lorcan snapped. “Of course it’s colder than what you’re used to.”

“Doranelle is in the North too.”

Lorcan took a deep breath, apparently, he wasn’t feeling very patient today. “I don’t know, Fenrys, it might be because we are on a whole other continent, maybe?”

Rowan snorted at his friends, Fenrys was playing dumb just to annoy Lorcan and as always, it worked. They were enjoying their last day of rest before their first day of work tomorrow. It wasn't a new job, not really. The company they worked for had just moved from Doranelle to Orynth, and of course, Rowan and the other employees had to move too.

Rowan knew that with the opening of the new Valg Industries headquarters the next few months would not be smooth sailing, but he believed in himself. Maeve was so confident that she even promoted him. It was a new beginning for Rowan and he was happy about it, his life in Doranelle was the perfect definition of dull. Not that he hated it, he was just glad to be away from his cousins. He didn’t hate them, they were just so… meddlesome.

Rowan walked into his kitchen and opened his fridge, empty. He cursed under his breath. The few bottles of beer he had last night ran out very quickly, they didn’t even have leftovers of the pizza they ordered yesterday. Which was a problem because Rowan was starving and there was no way he would order food for the second night in a row, it had already bothered him to do so yesterday.

He checked his watch, six in the afternoon. He was pretty sure the grocery store didn’t close before seven, he had little time if he wanted to go there. He needed to be quick. “Going shopping, be gone when I come back,” Rowan told his friends as he picked his car key. He needed some time alone but he knew they would probably still be there when he came back, his friends weren’t ones to listen.

He slammed the front door behind him and got into his car. It still smelled new, the leather still a little too stiff under Rowan's body. He had gotten the car yesterday, he had decided that if he was going to change his life, he would do it all the way. Nothing in his life in Doranelle set foot in Terrasen except his friends and his job.

Rowan lived in an upscale residence in downtown Orynth. Between his family's money and the money he was making even before he was promoted, he could afford it. He didn't want to live in the apartments that the company offered to its employees, he needed some peace and quiet.

So Rowan took a house that was too big for him, in a suburb full of family, as if he wasn't almost thirty and wasn't still alone. He had never felt so out of place, but he would get used to it.

He had chosen the opposite of the life he had until then, wanting space. He had left to forget.

When he pulled into the grocery store parking lot, Rowan could have sworn he saw a familiar face. He blinked and it was gone, he shook his head. How could he recognize anyone if he had never been to Terassen? He needed to sleep.

He got out of his car and shivered slightly. Maybe Fenrys was right, it wasn't cold but it was definitely colder than Doranelle at this time of year.

He walked into the store, it was large. Everything in Terassen looked big. The houses, the buildings, the stores... Rowan could get used to it.

He took a basket from the entrance and went straight to the vegetables. The store was almost empty considering the time of day, he could hear a couple of kids laughing in the background but otherwise, everything was quiet. It felt good to be away from the world.

He selected enough vegetables for three days, preferring to shop for short periods rather than a whole week. It made less mess and allowed him to control what he ate. That's one of the things he needed, control.

"Gotcha!" He heard a woman's voice laugh rather loudly.

"Noooo!" A little girl said and Rowan heard her laugh and ran. Gods, children were loud.

A few seconds later, something hit Rowan's legs. He looked down to find a little girl. She was a brunette with blue eyes. She laughed and stood up. "Sorry," she said before running off again to lose whoever was trying to catch her, but it was too late. A tall blonde lady came running up and threw herself on top of the little girl, grabbing her under the arms and throwing her over her shoulder. The little girl screamed with laughter and tried to struggle as the adult spun around. "Stop!" the child screamed but continued to laugh.

Rowan felt like he was intruding but he couldn't stop the tip of his lips from rising slightly. The adult stopped spinning but did not let go of the child, the little one wrapped her arms around the woman's neck and hid her head. "Hey, little monster, did you apologize?" She asked, her eyes still on the little one. Rowan couldn't see her face with the hair hiding it. "Huh?" She shook the little girl slightly but she refused to look at her.

"She did," Rowan said, not wanting the little girl to get into trouble. When the woman looked at him, his heart stopped beating and his whole body froze. It was impossible.

Did the gods hate him that much? What had he done to them for them to punish him like that?

Her eyes widened and he noticed her body going still, her hold around the girl tightening. Her mouth opened and then closed.

As he had been years before, he was struck by the intensity of Aelin Galathynius’s gaze. These blue and gold eyes were mesmerizing, had always been and always will.

His only thought was that she looked older, but since he had last seen her when she was nineteen it wasn’t surprising. She looked like a woman now, and womanhood suited her. She was wearing a white shirt and black skirt, a simple outfit for a working woman, and yet Rowan couldn’t help but stare longer than necessary at her body. If she had been beautiful seven years ago, she was magnificent now.

He wanted to punch himself in the face, so much work to forget about everything that happened, so much work to ignore the guilt and pain just to be ruined by a meeting in a grocery store.

“Rowan,” she breathed.

“Hi, Aelin.”

The little girl looked at him and he noticed everything she had in common with Aelin. Her eyes first, and the same nose and lips. They looked so similar.

Suddenly he was struck by the truth standing in front of him. While it had taken everything in him to try to forget about her, Aelin had moved on. And she had a daughter. Aelin had a life and if the laugh she let out a minute before was any indication, she was happy.

“What are you doing here?” He blurted.

A snort. “What am I doing in a grocery store?”

“In Orynth.”

“This is my hometown.” She said, her voice so tight he couldn’t guess what she might be feeling. It had always been so damn hard to read her. Orynth was her hometown? How come he never knew that? He knew she was from Terassen, her accent betraying her, but didn’t know exactly where. He knew so much about her but at the same time so little. That little truth hurt. “What are you doing here?”

“I moved. For work.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Fuck, that was awkward. “How old is your daughter?” He asked, nodding toward the small girl playing with Aelin’s hair. Aelin looked at her and her expression softened a little.

“Oh, no. She isn’t my…” She took a deep breath. “She’s Aedion and Lysandra’s daughter. I’m just babysitting for the night.” Right, Aedion. That’s why the small girl looks so much like Aelin. “Remember Aedion?”

Of course, he did, last time he saw the man Rowan got his nose broken and a black eye. He wouldn’t forget his old friend so soon. But Rowan didn’t care about that, right now he only cared that Aelin, in fact, didn’t have a daughter. It was easier to breathe suddenly. “Yeah.”

“But she’s four,” Aelin said and he knew it was only so she had something to say. Talking was awkward but the silence was worse.

Before he could say anything else, someone interrupted them by hitting Aelin’s legs, hugging them. This girl was blonde, Ashryver blonde. Gods, how many children did Lysandra and Aedion have?

The youngest paused on the ground and did not waste time before leaving from where she came. Aelin seemed to forget Rowan's entire existence as she knelt down to face the child, though she looked even tenser than a few minutes before.

"Hey, pumpkin, what's going on?" She asked softly, delicately taking the girl's grip to force her to look at her. "Tell me."

"Asper pulled my hair!" The girl cried and Aelin smiled.

"Did you try to tickle his neck?" She asked, making Rowan choke. Aelin didn’t spare him a glance. He wanted to ask her why she wasn’t punishing this Asper for pulling hair but he guessed Aelin would beat him up if he questioned how Aedion chose to raise his children. “You know how sensitive he is.” She smiled at the child. The girl sniffed heavily and Aelin used her sleeve to dry her tears. "Go back over there, I'll be there in two minutes." The child nodded briskly and before she left, she turned her head to Rowan.

His blood ran cold as green eyes fixed on him.

She looked like Aelin on the little one before, of course, but not only that. Did she... No. Lysandra had green eyes too. Rowan could have sworn that Lysandra's eyes were much lighter, but he hadn't seen her in seven years. He was wrong. He had to be wrong.

"Hi!" She said with a big smile. She was missing a tooth in the front, but that didn't take away from her charm.

Rowan swallowed, "Um, Hi." He managed to smile but he couldn't help that she looked too little like Lysandra.

“Are you a grandpa?” The girl asked and Rowan choked. “Only grandpa has grey hair.” She smiled and looked proud of herself. Silver, his damn hair is silver, not grey.

"Go ahead, Helia," Aelin said before Rowan could answer, her voice firm. She pushed the little one toward the alley away from Rowan. Aelin stood up when the little one was gone and his eyes shot to hers.

"It was nice to see you again," she said but he knew she was thinking the exact opposite. Rowan's heart was beating so loudly that Rowan could hear it pounding in his ears.

"Aelin," He called to her, stopping her in her tracks. " Just how... How old is she?"

"Bye, Rowan." Her voice left no room for questions, but he didn't care. He didn't care about what happened in college and now wasn't the time to start.

"Answer me." Not a question and she knew it. He could swear he saw the gold ring in her eyes flutter, a sign he had learned to recognize as anger. Well, let her be angry, he deserved answers.

"Ace, is everything okay?" A man with nearly black hair and sapphire blue eyes asked him. A boy a little taller than Helia was sitting on the man's shoulders and when Rowan saw his green eyes...

He had to be wrong.

"Aelin?" The man asked again as Aelin hadn't looked at him yet, her gaze still on Rowan.

"Yes." She replied with her voice cold. "My friend was just leaving, right?"

The way she said the word "friend" was anything but friendly. Fuck, he wanted to yell at her, he wanted to demand answers now, but he didn't. The two little girls were behind Aelin and the man, watching what was going on.

"Answer my question first."

"Get out." She gritted through her teeth.

"Why do you have your angry voice, Mommy?" The little boy asked and suddenly Aelin's eyes softened and she looked at the boy. She grabbed him by the underarms and took him in her arms.

Mommy.

Her son.

Clearly not the son of the man next to Aelin. He looked about six, maybe even seven.

No. That was impossible. It was only one night. One night he had spent the last seven years regretting...

“Mommy’s not angry.” She smiled as she caressed her son’s hair. Their… No, her son. For all Rowan knew, Aelin only had a thing for men with green eyes. It meant nothing. “But she’s busy right now, go back to the car with uncle Dorian, okay? Then we’ll eat pizza, that’s your favorite, right?” The three kids cheered and Aelin gave her son to the man, Dorian.

“You okay?” He asked, touching Aelin’s shoulder. Rowan didn’t know why but he wanted to slap the man.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in two minutes.” She reassured him and he nodded, letting Aelin’s son on his shoulder as he held the two girls by their hands and walked back to the parking lot. Rowan wanted to stop him, wanted to ask that boy and girl how old they were but they were just kids. He couldn’t scare them. This was between Rowan and Aelin.

“I deserve the truth.”

“You don’t deserve shit. Not after what you did.”

“It was between me and you, not between me and-” He was cut off by her.

“There is nothing between you and them. Do you understand me? Nothing.” Them. So the girl…

He couldn’t take it. She had made it clear already, deep inside he knew the answer to his question but he needed to hear her say it. “Are they mine?” He finally asked and if looks could kill, Rowan would be buried already.

“They are mine.”

Why did she have to be so fucking complicated? He clenched his fists, trying to keep his anger inside him but it was so damn hard. “Am I their father?”

Both of them were breathing heavily and Rowan was glad for the empty store now, not wanting to cause a scene. “No.” Her voice was lethal and Rowan’s mind froze. He didn’t know if it was a good thing or not. But they looked so much like him… “If your question is whether or not you knocked me up, the answer is yes. But you are not a father. Never been and never will be to them.”

They were his. Rowan’s entire world stopped and he wasn’t sure how he kept standing. He was a father, no matter what Aelin said.

“How could you hide this from me? How could you take them away from me?” He was screaming now. He didn’t care about causing a scene anymore, he didn’t care about anything but the two kids in a car outside. “They are my kids!”

“You don’t even know their fucking name!” She was screaming too, cheeks red. Fuck, why did she always had to be the most attractive when she was angry? He hated her so fucking much. “I am the one who’s been raising them alone for almost seven fucking years!” She didn’t look alone, not with that Dorian by her side.

Suddenly, he knew Aedion didn’t punch him for what he and Aelin shared the last night he saw her. He had punched him for getting his cousin pregnant. He knew Aelin hadn’t been honest about what happened between them after the sex or he would have been dead by now, so now he was sure it was because of the kids. He had deserved it, deserved more than the five punches Aedion managed to give Rowan before Fenrys and Lorcan separated them.

“I will die before I let you treat my children like you treated me. Get out of Terassen, nobody wants you here.”

She left storming out of the store without her groceries and Rowan was frozen. He knew he should go back after her and apologize, he should beg her for a chance to know his kids but he couldn’t move.

He had children, twins. And Aelin had been raising them alone because of him, because of what happened.

He was so fucking screwed.

He didn’t care about what Aelin told him, he wouldn’t go anywhere. It was too late to save what could have happened between him and Aelin, it had been too late since the night she left his apartment in tears. But it wasn’t too late for his children and he would fight for them.

————

@sheharahu // @morganofthewildfire // @thestoriesyoutell // @fromthelibraryofemilyj // @swankii-art-teacher // @itsforeverinnocent-blog // @becarefuloflove // @imnotsogoodatthis // @rowaelinismyotp // @a-court-of-milkandhoney // @feysand-loml // @surielandiareendgame // @live-the-fangirl-life // @story-scribbler // @loves-books // @fangirlprincess09 // @theysayitscrazy // @hellasblessed

[highqueenofelfhame]

no tag list bc im posting this from my phone and am too lazy so pls reblog so this gets traction! thank you for reading and follow @highqueenofelfhamewrites for better and more frequent updates and turn on post notifications! i might do away with tag lists soon idk. the whitethorn kids are headcanons from @musicmaam and i so i hope you love the babies we love them very much and becca is a mastermind

masterlist

Outside, it was a still and quiet morning. Despite the sun having risen hours ago, the sky remained a murky gray. Dew clung to the grass and a light fog remained settled over the landscape. It looked cold and like the kind of day that would usually have Aelin curled up in the study, a roaring fire warming the room while she sat in one of the oversized leather chairs and reread a favorite book. Rowan knew that once outside, the cool air would be a sharp bite at his skin. It’s how Terrasen always was in early November.

Instead of reading, though, Aelin was staring at her side of the closet. Her fingers nervously tapped above her elbow while she surveyed dresses and pantsuits, jackets and turtlenecks. More than once she had murmured that she never knew what to wear, and more than once he had told her that it really didn’t matter and she would look beautiful all the same.

A level below, Rowan heard the front door open and close, followed by their oldest son, Arden shouting up the stairs that they were home. They referred to him and his boyfriend, Jamie, and Aelin and Rowan’s oldest, Evalin. The three had driven from the University of Orynth on the other side of the city to the family’s house on the outskirts of town.

Genevieve, Declan, and Endymion, the younger half of the Whitethorn kids, were all getting ready. Genny had been up with the sun to make breakfast for everyone, her hands sticky with cream cheese frosting and cinnamon by the time she had finished. Declan and Endy were down the hall, fighting for counter space in their shared bathroom while Genevieve finished up at the vanity Rowan had built her last year in her bedroom.

More noise followed the voices downstairs turned to a quiet murmur as Rowan approached his wife and rested his hand on her lower back. Aelin leaned back on her heels and into his touch, turning her head slightly. Rowan pressed a kiss to her temple and she shivered, reaching out for the dress that he knew she’d end up picking. It was his favorite.

“Perfect choice, fireheart,” he murmured, rubbing his hand across her middle back as she sighed and pulled it off the hanger that she dropped to the floor. Rowan chuckled to himself, nudging it toward her pile of shoes as he followed her back out into their bedroom.

Rowan was already showered and dressed. He wore a simple black suit with Aelin’s favorite dark green tie— one that she claimed brought out his eyes, though Rowan hadn’t noticed a single difference as he tied it around his neck.

“You are worrying about nothing,” he murmured into her hair, tucking a loose strand behind her ear. Aelin shuddered a sigh, licking her lips as she turned to look at Rowan over her shoulder. Their eyes met for a single heartbeat before moving to the door.

“I hope Arden and Evie remembered to pick everything up this morning.”

“I’ll go check,” he promised, squeezing her shoulder before walking away. Rowan paused in the doorway, turning to look at his anxious wife. She stood in front of the window, dress draped over one arm while she twisted her wedding band around her finger. It made his heart squeeze in the most painful way, but he left her and jogged down the stairs to where the rest of his family mingled in the kitchen.

Entirely typical of his children, none of them looked up when he entered. Gen was dressed in leggings and an oversized sweater, manning the stove to make everyone else eggs. Endy and Declan were arguing over who got the cinnamon roll in the center of the pan: it was the most gooey and beheld more icing than the others. Declan won out in the end, but only because Genevieve pointed a spatula at Endymion to remind him of a petty crime he’d committed against her the day before.

“You don’t deserve that cinnamon roll. You know what you did.” Endy snorted, but relented, allowing Declan to eagerly swoop in for the golden treat. A large dollop of icing slipped off the side, barely making it onto his plate as he did. Endymion sighed wistfully, likely dreaming of how good that would have been in his stomach instead of his brothers. Rowan laughed to himself, ruffling Endy’s hair as he walked by. His youngest shrugged him off with a shiver, lips pulling down into a frown while he looked over at his father, then to his older sister as she walked into the room.

“Has mom been down yet?”

“She’s still upstairs,” Rowan said, while the other kids mumbled that she’d yet to come down. Arden and Jamie slid into the empty barstools at the counter, accepting plates of bacon and eggs from Genevieve. “Can someone go check on her?”

“I’ll go,” Evie decided, heading up toward Rowan and Aelin’s bedroom, stairs creaking with every step.

Genevieve was watching Evalin up until she disappeared at the top of the landing, her lips twisting to the side as she shifted to turn the stove off. The kitchen settled into a comfortable silence, the scraping of forks the only disruption. Genny poked at the cinnamon roll she’d chosen for herself before pushing it away, toward Endy.

“I can’t eat,” she said quietly, tapping her phone screen, the time blinking up at her before it went dark again. It seemed that Endy could eat, however, because he pulled her plate over and dove into her cinnamon roll immediately after finishing his. It was almost enough to make her smile but she seemed to be fighting it off. Rowan moved to wrap his arm around his daughter, but she shrugged out of his embrace and disappeared up the stairs. If he had to guess, she was joining Aelin and Evalin.

“I’m worried about her,” Rowan and Arden said at the same time, the former cracking a half smile.

“Me too,” Endymion agreed, fingernail tapping against the counter while he looked over his shoulder. Rowan opened his mouth to speak, but the soft closing of a door followed by the squeak of the top stair silenced him. A moment later, his three girls were filing into the kitchen. Aelin hugged each of her babies, pressing kisses to their cheeks that they didn’t shy away from.

“We ready?” Arden asked, picking up the bag he’d brought in with him. Aelin nodded and rubbed her hand over Genny’s upper back.

Genevieve had always been the most anxious of their kids in the worst way. Over the last year, her panic attacks had only gotten worse and nobody really knew how to help her. A few months ago, she had finally caved and agreed to start taking medicine for it when she needed to. Judging by the way she stood, worrying her lip and twining the ends of her silver hair into tiny braids, Rowan wondered if she was already debating taking one of those pills to keep the monsters of the day at bay.

The ride was quiet. The only conversation consisted of Aelin and Rowan asking Evalin, Jamie, and Arden about their college courses. The youngest three Whitethorns stayed quiet and listened while looking out the windows and tapping on their phones. No music filled the empty silences— the last five minutes was nothing but garbled road noise and turn signals, the occasional sniffle of a nose, or a small sigh.

When the car was put in park, nobody moved immediately. Aelin stared through the windshield, fingers drumming on the gear shift. Rowan lay his on top of hers, but she didn’t look over at him. Instead, she tucked her bottom lip between her teeth and, after several heartbeats, nodded. Only then did the kids file out of the back seats, Genevieve going to take her mother’s left hand while Arden took her right. Rowan walked beside Endymion and attempted to steady his son when he stumbled over a rock that was hidden in the grass.

They walked through the cemetery, moving by headstone after headstone. Some of them were large and ornate weeping angels, others were crosses jutting out of the ground. A fair few were simple concrete rectangles in the ground with a vase for flowers. The one they came to stop at was something in between.

It was about two feet high in the middle of the graveyard, simple text embedded into the shiny quartzite stone. A large hawk had been carved into its surface, wings spread wide mid-flight, beak parted as though it were releasing a fierce battle-cry. There was no vase for flowers anywhere near it. Instead, piles of stones were left all around it. They were in all shapes, sizes, and colors. One had a painted hawk on the surface that he knew Genevieve’s boyfriend had left behind at the funeral last year.

Arden placed the bag he carried on the ground and they let Aelin be the first to pick her stone. She picked a large smooth one, a paler gray than the headstone itself that fit perfectly in her palm. She folded her legs beneath her body as she knelt before it, trembling fingers tracing over the name.

ROWAN M. WHITETHORN

JULY 16, 1970 - NOVEMBER 11, 2020

HUSBAND. FATHER. HERO.

TO WHATEVER END.

A breeze shifted through the air, moving Aelin’s hair across her face and she could have sworn it was warm. She could have sworn she smelled the familiar pine and snow scent that she would always and forever associate with her husband. Aelin could have sworn it felt like a lover’s caress, like fingers brushing away the tear that slipped down her cheek.

Aelin wasn’t sure how long she sat there, surrounded by their children. Each of them swapped their favorite stories about their late father, about what they missed most. All of them cried enough tears that Terrasen could hit a rare drought but the patch of grass they held each other in would still be green as ever.

When they finally stood, the air had dropped a few more degrees because the sun had never come out to keep them warm. It made that fleeting warm breeze even more bizarre, the one that smelled like him, considering the one that rustled the leaves on the nearby tree was cold enough to bite.

Out of the corner of her eye, she swore she saw him. She swore she saw a head of silver hair sock his head in her direction, but she blinked and he was gone, her oldest son stepping up in the place she thought she saw him, felt him, smelled him. Silver hair faded into a golden blonde that matched her own, but the eyes that peered down at her were as bright green as his father’s. Aelin felt her face crumple as she leaned into him, resting her temple against his shoulder. She inhaled hard, desperate for that pine scent to feel her lungs, desperate to erase the last year of her life without him. Desperate to pretend that he was still alive and it was his shoulder that she put her weight on.

But it wasn’t. And it wouldn’t be.

Still, as she looped her arm through his and started to walk back toward the car with their kids, she spared a last glance over her shoulder, projecting their vows into the void of the world: to whatever end.

She wasn’t sure what it was, but Aelin was almost positive she heard his voice whisper it back as another strange, warm breeze wrapped around her and left her completely breathless.