#I had mad computer issues last week lol

[wayward-rosalind]

Heya @average-bisexual-dentist!!! I was your TEAM ASANO exchange partner and I had a blast working on this! I hope you like it, it was my first time really drawing Throné and Temenos lol.

Merry holidays <3

[queenoftheworldisdead]

Dennis

Notes: No one asked for this. was inspired this thread. LOL. Also Chris Evans Debuts Trailer for New Movie DENNIS

Summary: A broken pathetic shell of a man with nothing to live for.

Warning: 18+ only please, forced fingering, non con, rape, Dark themes

Dark Dennis Baker x Reader

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6:00 A.M.

Dennis hated waking up. Though he was married whenever he arose and reached over to his wife's side of the bed it was always cold. It didn't used to be this way. Not too long ago he would wake to find her snuggling into him, but now it was as if he was a single man all over again.

Scrubbing his hands over his face as he sat on the edge of the bed he wondered where his wife was this time. At some point after he was laid off she started changing. Working out more, staying out more, sleeping over at her sisters for reasons she never made clear to him.

Walking over to the closet Dennis retrieved his uniform, laying it on top of the bed, neatly. The gawd awful pink retail shirt, unflattering khaki pants, with the leather belt and penny loafers made him internally groan at the sight each morning.

As the steam dissipated from the shower Dennis mindlessly stared at his own reflection. Dread poured over him the closer it got time for him to leave for work. This job was a far cry from his former one as Head of IT. A major data breach ruined his career in the tech field. Despite his best efforts to prevent the cyber attack his warnings went unheeded, sighting unnecessary cost for the infrastructure. And when the inevitable happened his neck was brought to the chopping block.

With that blemish on his record it was hard to get another job of similar note with this infraction hanging over his head. Now reduced to technical expert at Betsy's Computer store. A glorified titled for a retail worker that pushed more PS5's than actual technical support.

With the drop in title so did the salary. The mortgage, car note and other bills began piling up on top of each other. Credit cards were starting to hit their own limit, all contributing to his physical and mental decline.

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7:00 A.M.

As he began dressing he heard a faint sound coming from down stairs. Tucking in his shirt as he left the bedroom he heard the rare sound of his wife, Sarah. She was talking cheerfully to someone he hoped would be her sister. When he entered the archway his heart sank as she quieted herself, her mood fully changed before slipping her cell into her pocket.

Quickly she picked up a dish that contained scraps of some healthy meal that she only made for herself. Rinsing it off at the sink as Dennis approached her from behind.

Leaning over Dennis tried to kiss her cheek, but swiftly Sarah pulled away. “Ugh!”

"What's wrong?" He knew, but he had to hear it.

"You have a bad penis?" she answered before leaving him alone in the kitchen as he bottled up the hurt as he always did. Tucking away the insult and then burying it deep.

Dennis's erectile dysfunction was just the cherry on his shit cake. He had seen several doctors. All prescribed this or that, but nothing worked. The lack of intimacy helped to further wreck havoc on his marriage.

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8:00 A.M.

The entrance to the gaudy pink building dinged as the automatic doors opened.

"Morning Dennis" you smiled as he walked through the opened doors. He scrunched his face as if he didn't recognize you. You had only run into him once or twice since you started last week, so you weren't surprised he didn't remember.

"How did you..?" He looked a mix of tired and confused as he stood between the doorway.

Your head tilted and gave him a look, before tapping the name plate on your chest. Dennis followed your finger, your badge sat perched on your left breast. You shifted on your feet as his eyes lingered on your nameplate longer than you would've liked.

"Hadn't had your coffee yet I see" you joked. Quickly Dennis shifted his eyes away, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Yeah" Dennis chuckled dryly.

"Well, there is a fresh pot in the back last time I checked and  a few donuts. I think Richard brought some in. If you hurry you might be able to snatch one up." You brushed off his awkwardness.

Maybe he isn't a morning person.

You could see Dennis on the verge of reply, but your attention diverted to the customer walking to your open lane. "How was your shopping today? Do you have a Betsy card?" You read off your script as they laid their items down. In the corner of your eye you watched him linger a bit, before continuing on toward the back to clock in.

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3:00 P.M.

Dennis grumbled with hands on hips as he looked at the disarray of the printer cartage wall. He had organized and reorganized the entire aisle at least five times today. He had only been gone five minutes only to return to chaos.

Quickly taking inventory with his clipboard he made notes of what he needed before storming off to the storage room. Through his irritation he found it hard to stay mad as thoughts of you clouded his head while he walked.

The tiny interaction from earlier in the day had haunted him. Trying in vein Dennis tried his hardest to focus on anything else, but the more he fought it the more you seemed to just pop up. He found his eyes locking with yours in-between various interactions with customers as you cut through his section to get to the break room. Each time you fluttered your fingers and smiled at him, leaving him flustered, returning the smile more stiff and awkward than the time before.

Opening the door to the storage room Dennis's heart skipped a beat when he found you bent over examining a shelf. You hadn't noticed him yet, too focused on the numbers on the paper you held in search of an item.

Swallowing thickly Dennis gingerly closed the door quietly in an effort not to spook you. His cock twitched slightly the longer he stood against the door. When you moaned in frustration after you placed an item back on the shelf a heat rippled through his face forcing him to bite back a groan of his own.

Staying quiet, he released the knob and started to move closer to you. Each step Dennis felt his heart beat through his ears as your hips swayed before him.  

The narrow aisle forced Dennis to squeeze past you to reach his desired destination. Sucking in his bottom lip hungrily he pushed his hips forward as he slid behind, the slight graze made you jump up and yelp in surprise.

"Oh gosh Dennis you scared me!" You giggled slightly embarrassed. You placed a hand over your chest and the other on his shoulder.

"Sorry" looking sincerely at you as he held his hands up innocently. "Just trying to reach the ink." Hoping to take the focus away from his bottom half. The light graze was enough to awaken that piece of him that he had long sense gave up on.

"It's OK. It's super tight back here. Kind of hard not to knock into someone." You brushed of your shock and turn back to your task. With your back to him again adjusted himself awkwardly.

"Hey, wait!" Your call froze him in his tracks.

Dennis's back tensed and a panic shot through his core as he heard your steps approach. His work pants had become uncomfortably tighter all thanks to you.

Slyly he pressed his clip board over his buckle when you rounded his side. Internally Dennis prayed that you wouldn't notice the throbbing erection below his belt.

"Can you help me I can’t find this." You were still focused on the paper you held, pushing it in his line of sight as you waited for him to respond. You were so close that your perfume tickled his nose and he wondered if you tasted just as sweet as you smelled.

Dennis's lips deepened into a frown when Richard, the floor manager, called your name from the now open storage door.  

"We need you back on registers. Let me handle that for now." Richard demanded.  

"Oh OK" turning away from him you handed the papers to Richard as he approached. "Thanks anyway Dennis" you patted Dennis's back before walking off. The sudden lack of touch sent an ache to his heart as he watched you disappear through the door.

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5:30 P.M.

The rain came down hard. You hadn't check the weather, when you left your apartment earlier in the day the sky was clear. Without an umbrella you made a mad dash to your car on the far end of the lot. Panting wildly, by the time your reached the car you were soaked through and through.

Slipping in you shrieked when the white flash crashed too close to your car. Fumbling with your keys before sticking them in the ignition you quickly found disappointment. The engine wouldn't turn over. It took several clicks of the turning key, before you stared baffled at the wheel. You had never had issues with your car before, so you were at a loss as to what could be the cause.

A bashing came loud on your side that caused you to scream in fright. Your heart beat rapidly, but when you looked over you found Dennis standing outside your door holding his umbrella.

"You OK?" He queried as you manually rolled your window down.

"It won't start. I think its the battery?" You weren't sure, but it sounded plausible.

"I would give you a jump, but it's a little dangerous. I can give you a ride though." He shouted over the heavy rain.

"Oh gosh, are you sure?"

"Yeah, come on."

Unbuckling your seat Dennis held the door open for you as you got out. You stuck close to his side, huddling under his umbrella as he led you to his car.

Opening the passenger door you thanked Dennis then slipped inside. He closed the door than jogged over to the driver's side, you giggled at his awkward stride and wondered if there was any part of him that wasn't weird. 

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Through his peripheral Dennis watched you. Your perfume seemed to waft through his tiny Toyota and he hoped that it would sink into the upholstery.

"It's over there, just turn right on the corner" you directed him. He nodded at your direction. Suddenly sad that the ride was coming to an end sooner than he would've liked.

"You can slow down here. Mine is the one in the middle."

Dennis slowed to park as you gathered your things and readied to disembark. "Um uh I know this is weird, but do you think I can.. use your restroom?" It came out bumbled and he internally kicked himself for that.

"Oh gosh yes of course." You touched his arm as you spoke, the patch of skin sending jolts all throughout.

Dennis exited the car first as you waited patiently for him to shelter you from the rain.

You thank him again as you both jogged to your front door. With your keys at the ready you unlocked the door and allowed him in after you. "First door on your right" you point down the hall as you slipped out of your work shoes.

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8:00 P.M.

Dennis didn't move.

"So how is married life?" You nervously inquired, noticing the gold band on his finger.

He didn't answer and the look on his face started to fill you with concern.

He is just an awkward guy. Don't over think it.

"Um would you like something to drink" you made a move to walk toward the kitchen, but Dennis blocked your advance. Stepping a foot back you started to panic. "So h-how do you like working at.."

Before you could finish Dennis sandwiched you between the door.  Fruitlessly you tried to wiggle free as his hands began to roam your sides. Pushing at his chest he stood unmoved by your efforts as he leaned in close to your cheek, peppering you with kisses along your neck.

"Please Dennis.." You trembled out. Dennis wedged between your legs, the feel of his hard cock had you hiccuping as you pleaded with him to stop.

The muscles in your arm burned as you push, your hands flailing and slipping off his wet clothes. He inhaled you, humming with delight as his stubble burned against your neck.

Tears coated your eyes as he began feverishly unbuckling your belt. Your nails clawed into his flesh to no effect, tossing your hands away effortlessly as he continued to maneuver your pants down past your hips.

It was if the mild mannered retail clerk had become a completely different person and you couldn't understand why.

"I see the way you look at me" he growled into your ear. 

"I was just being nice. Please Dennis!"

"So nice for me baby" he kissed your cheek as you turned your face away from him. Through the kerfuffle you hadn't realized you both had moved away from the door. Your side hit the arm of the living room's couch and you found yourself tumbling over with Dennis landing on top of you.

Dennis snatched one of your wrist when you tried to slap him. Threading his fingers with yours like a lover, slowly moving it above your head. Your other hand tried to force him to fall over to the floor, but he refused to budge.

His other arm disappeared between your bodies, the further it sunk down your stomach tensed. You were useless against his determination. There was no out from under him.

Dennis swallowed your sobs, when his hand came dangerously close to your clit. Hot beads of tears streamed your face when  he grazed your mound. The tickle of his finger tips meticulously played with your folds, in an attempt to move away his fingers parted your lips. Sucking and kissing on your neck, you felt a fire begin to pool at his hand.

"You don't want to do this please" you sniffed, but he was too far gone. A long moan fell from your lips when his fingers finally plunged into you.

Dennis's digits curled and pumped, the friction feeding an unwanted need in your core. When you tried to protest again he devoured your mouth greedily.

"I'm gonna fill you up...Have you stuffed full of my cum." Dennis moaned over your mouth.

Your toes started to curl as your heat grew. You wanted him to stop, but a need weakened your resolve.

"That's it baby, I feel you want me too." 

"Fuck" you panted out as you struggled to fight against him and yourself. Your juices coated him thoroughly, you bit back shame as he praised you for it. Mindlessly you gripped his shoulder  as your mounded tightened around him. Panting wildly you came on his fingers.

"That's it baby." He praised, slipping his fingers free which caused you to whimper shamefully. Your legs felt like jelly as you laid on the couch. Dennis hadn't moved, only lifting his hips to  unfastened his belt.

"No! No no please" you whined, pushing backwards on the couch cushion. Dennis snaked an arm behind your back, locking you in place as you pulled at his work shirt to get him off you.

The head of his cock swirled around your juices, pressing hard against your folds to blindly find your opening. "So wet just for me baby."

No matter which way your hips move the determined man found your slick folds. Wedged between your legs Dennis shuttered with delight as he pressed into you. His slow pressure stretched you as you continued to sob.

"So tight for me" he hummed. You hissed the deeper he sunk into you. Breathing heavily through the tightness while his hips rolled into you. The cheap couch groaned at the increase of activity. Dennis palmed your ass, gripping too tight as he fucked you into the couch.

His desperate kisses all over you felt like trails of fire. Your legs began to wrap and tighten around him as he thrusted relentlessly. 

"Dennis.." You panted out as your need took over.

"Do you want to come for me?" he sounded as needy as you did.

"I haven't come in so long... Do you think you can handle it baby?" He taunted.

"Please" you say weakly.

"That's it I knew you needed me"

"Please Dennis." You begged as you dissolved into pleasure.

You were his new life he was sure of it. His cure and he was never letting you go.

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[timelesslords]

Can u pls write a percabeth fic where Percy and Rachel are dating and percabeth are best friends and they end up spending the night together and it's been a week and they don't know how to tell Rachel and Rachel being bitter ?? Pls

This was kind of out of my comfort zone in terms of what I usually write lol but I tried my best!! I imagine this as like a mortal college AU :)

send me a prompt!

“Beth, you can’t walk home like this,” Percy said, exasperated.

“I’m fine! I’m hardly even drunk,” Annabeth said, trying (and failing) to quash the butterflies in her stomach when he called her Beth. Percy, having been her best friend for almost a decade, was the only person in the whole world who was allowed to call her that. He only pulled it out in rare situations, and every time he did Annabeth would swear her heart skipped five consecutive beats.

Not that he could ever know that, of course. Now felt like a more precarious situation than most-- she’d come over to his dorm so they could watch a movie together, and had ended up curled up together on his bed around his laptop. In fairness, his dorm was tiny and there was nowhere else to sit besides his bed, but if Annabeth imagined really hard she could pretend that it had all been completely intentional, and he was sitting this close to her because he wanted to.

“Hardly?” Percy asked, raising an eyebrow. And, fine. Annabeth had had… an amount to drink. A non-zero amount, some might say. More than Percy, and she had a way lower tolerance than him. She was buzzed, sure, but not buzzed enough to walk back across campus to her own dorm.

“I’m fine. It’s barely twenty minutes,” Annabeth protested. She started to stand up, but Percy gently tugged her back into the bed. She should have put up more resistance than she did, but, well. Who could blame her.

“It’s also three in the morning and you’re drunk,” Percy said, “Come on, just stay the night.”

“Stay where? Grover’s bed?” Annabeth asked, repressing giggles at the thought. It wasn’t really that funny a thought, but, well, she was tipsy.

Percy’s roommate was gone for the night to visit his girlfriend, leaving his bed empty. Grover was a cool guy, but he also had a weird tendency to leave soda cans just about everywhere, including in his bed.

Percy just rolled his eyes. “No, here.”

It took Annabeth a few seconds to realize exactly what he was saying.

“In your bed?” Annabeth asked, hesitantly.

“We’ve been sitting on it together all night,” Percy pointed out.

“Yeah, but…” Annabeth trailed off.

It was different. She knew it was different. And frankly, any other time she’d be absolutely delighted that Percy was offering that difference, but there was also the issue of Percy’s girlfriend. Percy’s girlfriend, who he’d met their freshman year and hit it off with despite the fact that Annabeth had been in love with him since she knew what love was. Percy’s girlfriend, who was in another dorm on campus not ten minutes away, not here but also not not here.

“But what?” Percy asked. There was the tiniest bit of a smirk on his face, and Annabeth shoved his shoulder, rolling her eyes.

“You know what,” she said. Maybe it came off a little more seriously than she’d meant, but he didn’t seem to care.

“It’s not like we’d be doing anything,” Percy said. Annabeth tried not to feel hurt at how foreign the concept of “doing anything” seemed to him in relation to him and her. But she didn’t have any right to feel any type of way about that, because she and Percy were just friends and Percy had a girlfriend who was not going to be happy about Annabeth spending the night in his bed, regardless of which activities did or did not take place there.

“Yeah, I know, but its just… I don’t know, don’t you think Rachel will be mad?”

“You’re staying here because you need a place to crash. She can’t be mad about that.”

“I’m pretty sure she could find something to be mad about,” Annabeth muttered, mostly to herself. Percy heard her though. They were sitting so close their shoulders were touching, so it would have been a miracle if he didn’t.

“Fine, I’ll sleep on the floor. She can’t be mad about that,” Percy said, actually making to get up like he was about to lie down right there and then. It was Annabeth’s turn to pull him back onto the mattress.

“Don’t be stupid, you’re not sleeping on the floor in your own dorm room,” Annabeth said, “Besides, she’d just say I kicked you off your bed.”

Maybe Annabeth should’ve kept that last bit to herself, but she’d never been very good at hiding her feelings about Rachel. Percy sighed, knowing she was right but not wanting to admit it.

“Well I’m not letting you sleep on the floor,” he said stubbornly, despite the fact that Annabeth hadn’t even suggested it. She had to bite back a laugh at the indignant look on his face.

“Percy, I was never going to sleep on your floor. I was going to go home,” she reminded him.

“Well I’m not letting you do that either,” he said, “So I guess you’re stuck in bed with me, unless you want me to spend the night on concrete.”

“You’re so goddamn annoying,” Annabeth grumbled.

“Does that mean you’re staying?” he asked. His expression brightened considerably at the prospect, and Annabeth had to physically force herself to calm her heart rate down.

“Well apparently I don’t have a choice,” Annabeth said, rolling her eyes, praying to every god in the universe that she wasn’t blushing.

“Right,” Percy said, putting on some exaggerated confidence, “Obviously. So am I taking the floor or the bed?”

Annabeth knew he would sleep on the floor in a heartbeat. If she told him that she was uncomfortable being in his bed with him, he would gladly spend the night on cold concrete in the middle of winter in a dorm that had, frankly, terrible heating.

But she wasn’t about to make him do that. And if she was honest with herself, being in bed with him was the opposite of uncomfortable.

“The bed,” she sighed. Percy grinned triumphantly.

“I knew you wouldn’t make me sleep on the floor,” he said, and Annabeth finally let herself laugh.

“Yeah, because I told you so twice.”

“I think it’s because I know you so well, actually,” he said, finally closing his laptop that had been playing the movie earlier, and setting it on his bedside table. They’d turned the lights off earlier, and without the soft glow of the computer screen the only lights in the room were the faint street lights outside.

The bed was just a regular old twin, with not much space for either of them. That was why they were touching so much, Annabeth reminded herself. Just that. No other reason. He just put his arm around her shoulders because it was more comfortable that way, that was all.

It was late, and Annabeth was drunk, so falling asleep was easy. But she’d be lying if she said Percy didn’t help with that too.

***

It’d been a week since Annabeth had spent the night at Percy’s dorm, and they hadn’t talked about it at all.

She’d woken up the next morning completely hungover, and also with her and Percy’s limbs completely tangled together. The bed they’d shared was small, but it wasn’t that small.

Percy, of course, had acted like it was nothing. He’d teased her about her bed head and she’d half-heartedly teased him back about his morning breath, and then she’d packed her stuff from the night before and made her walk of shame back to her dorm. Except it wasn’t even a proper walk of shame, because they hadn’t actually done anything.

He hadn’t brought it up since, like it had been no big deal at all. Annabeth wished she could be so lowkey about it, but it was the only thing she’d been thinking about that entire week.

They’d already planned to meet up at the end of the week again, only this time in a group setting. A group setting meant Rachel was going to be there, and Percy might think their little sleepover hadn’t been a big deal, but Rachel was definitely not going to share that opinion. Annabeth was honestly dreading facing her so much that she considered bailing at least ten times. In the end, she decided that she had to just suck it up— she was going to have to face Rachel at some point, it might as well have been now.

All that to say Annabeth was a little surprised when she showed up at the party, only to find Rachel acting completely normal towards her. She was irritated towards Annabeth, but that wasn’t unusual. Rachel was always irritated towards Annabeth, and Annabeth was always irritated towards Rachel. But Rachel wasn’t pissed at her like Annabeth expected her to be. She wasn’t even not pissed, she was downright cordial.

All it took was one look at Percy for Annabeth to confirm what she already knew. He hadn’t told her.

“I need to talk to you,” she said, grabbing Percy’s arm and pulling him down the hallway. Rachel was going to be pissed at her for that, but Annabeth didn’t care. Percy followed along without complaint, not even bothering to shoot Rachel an apologetic look.

The hallway was empty, or as empty as a hallway at a college party could be. The music was loud enough to cover up their conversation, anyway.

“Did you not tell her?” Annabeth asked, keeping her voice barely above a whisper. Percy immediately looked guilty.

“You don’t know that,” he said, as if everything about both of their demeanors hadn’t given it away instantly.

“Of course I do, she wasn’t absolutely furious with me,” Annabeth hissed. Percy looked, if possible, more guilty than before.

“Okay, fine, I didn’t,” he admitted, “But what’s the big deal? It’s not like we did anything.”

And there it was again, those two little words and the way he said them, as if anything happening between the two of them was an impossibility. It felt like a dagger straight to the heart, but Annabeth ignored it.

“I dunno,” Annabeth said, “I mean if I was your girlfriend, I think I would want to know.”

Percy had choked on his drink halfway through her statement, and was already coughing before she could finish it.

“Are you okay?” Annabeth asked, alarmed. Percy just shook his head.

“Fine,” Percy managed to choke out, “I’m fine.”

“Am I going to have to heimlich you again?”

“Hey, you promised you would never bring that up again,” Percy said, pointing an accusing finger at her as he coughed again, clearing his throat a few times for good measure, “Besides, I don’t think it works for soda.”

“Fair. But don’t change the subject.”

“You changed the subject first,” Percy accused, in a not subtle attempt to change the subject once again.

“Because I thought you were choking, dumbass. You have to tell her.”

“Why?” Percy practically whined.

“Because the fact that you don’t want to means you know she’s going to be mad about it,” Annabeth said.

Percy groaned, letting his head fall back against the wall.

“Why are you so smart?” he asked. It sounded like a complaint, even though she knew he didn’t mean it that way. It sure felt that way, though.

“‘Cause one of us has to be,” Annabeth sighed.

If Annabeth were smarter, she would’ve never agreed to spend the night to begin with. But it was way too late for that now.

They went back and joined the group, but Annabeth knew Rachel was staring (bordering on glaring) at her the entire rest of the night. She couldn’t even really blame her. She was going to be a hell of a lot more mad at Annabeth once she found out the reason Annabeth had pulled Percy away to begin with.

The very next day Annabeth was in her dorm room, trying to finish a project for her architecture class. It was due on Monday, but she’d been so distracted the entire week that she’d barely even made a dent in it at all. It wasn’t coming together the way she wanted to and Annabeth was three seconds away from snapping her pencil in half and throwing the whole draft away. Before she could, there was a sharp knock at the door.

Annabeth glanced down at her phone, but she didn’t see any texts. Maybe it was the RA doing an inspection, or maybe Piper had forgotten her key again.

But when Annabeth opened the door, she found Percy standing in the doorway. He spoke before Annabeth could even open her mouth.

“So, I told her,” Percy said, with absolutely no context. He knew she didn’t need it. Annabeth found herself gripping the door so tightly she thought her fingers might break.

“You did? What happened?” Annabeth asked, trying not to sound frantic. Why was he here? Why didn’t he just call her? What if Rachel had made him swear to never talk to her again and he was just here to say goodb--

“She asked me to tell her with 100% certainty that I didn’t have feelings for you,” Percy said, impossibly calm.

If Rachel had asked him that, why was he standing in Annabeth’s doorway?

“And?” Annabeth said, voice small. Her heart was practically pounding out of her chest, but Percy just shrugged.

“And, I couldn’t.”

“You couldn’t?” Annabeth repeated, just to make sure she had heard him correctly.

“Nope,” he said, easily, too easily, “To be honest, I couldn’t even give her like, 1% certainty, but that would’ve felt a little rude to say.”

“So…” Annabeth trailed off. She couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. It didn’t make sense in her brain. Percy had feelings for her. And he’d broken up with Rachel, which meant— which meant—

“I think now is the part where you tell me if you like me back,” Percy said, interrupting her thoughts. He was smiling though, like he already knew the answer.

Annabeth did not currently have the mental wherewithal to form words. Thankfully her feet did the thinking for her, closing the already small distance between them and kissing him like she’d wanted to do for years.

“So I take it that’s a yes?” he said with a grin, when they finally broke apart. Annabeth was pleased to see he was a little breathless, at least.

“Shut up,” she laughed.

“Gladly,” he said, leaning down to kiss her again.

[dottielovegood]

ASMR - Chapter 4

Elriel fanfiction

About this fic:

Azriel can’t sleep Elain has an ASMR channel Match made in heaven (or you know, on youtube..)

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You can find chapter 1 here, chapter 2 here and chapter 3 here

Read this fic on AO3

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The following week, Azriel read Elain’s messages too many times to admit. He had answered her that “meat banjo” was, indeed, a vile word, and after that, they hadn’t really talked or texted.

He had saved her number as “Elain”, which had felt weirdly private. As if they were friends, which they were not. He was just her friendly helper, and she was his remedy for nightmares.

However, even though they didn’t know each other, Azriel felt an odd sensation in his chest when he thought about her. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought that he was missing her, which was absurd. But the tight little knot in his chest felt very much like longing. He tried to tell himself that this was weird and stupid. He knew that he had a crush on her (even though he hated to admit it), but he could also see that it was a pointless crush. She was an internet sensation, he was a boring IT guy. She was light and happiness and flowers, he was dark and brooding. She made people smile, he made people uncomfortable. And then there was the practical side of things. They had met on the internet. She probably lived on the other side of the country. Hell, she could even live in a different country for all he knew. She might have a partner already - it’s not like he asked. And, last but not least, she probably didn’t have a crush on him.

Before talking to her on the phone, he had just thought that she was a pretty girl that deserved kindness. But after their phone call, he had definitely developed a crush. Which was another reason why he hadn’t texted her. He didn’t want to bother her and he didn’t want to have this crush. He wanted to stop feeling like this for a girl he would never see in real life. Yet, every night before bed, he found himself on her youtube page, watching one of her many videos.

She uploaded a new video to Youtube every Friday, so when Friday came around, Azriel was itching to get home so he could go to sleep (he told himself that he was looking forward to sleeping and not to seeing her face).

However, he had an entire workday to get through first. The office was mostly an open landscape and Azriel’s desk was next to Cassian’s. The only person with his own office was Rhysand, which was fair since he was the owner of the company. At two in the afternoon, Rhys poked his head out of his office.

“You guys are still coming for dinner this weekend, right?”

“Yeah,” Azriel and Cassian answered in unison.

“I told Feyre that I would help her with the food,” Azriel continued.

Rhys looked like he was going to kiss Azriel. “Oh, god. Thank you, man. I was scared that we would have to repeat the Christmas dinner,” he said and shuddered.

Feyre hated to cook and Rhys did most of the cooking at home, but for some inexplicable reason, she always wanted to cook for holidays or family dinners. To everyone’s dismay. Christmas had been no exception. She had burned the turkey, added salt instead of sugar to the dessert and somehow managed to buy the wrong berries for her cranberry sauce. Luckily, Rhys had been prepared and bought a few frozen pizzas and some ice cream, so the day wasn’t that much of a disaster, but nobody wanted to brave Feyre’s cooking again.

“Why don’t you just cook?” Cassian asked without looking up from his screen.

“You know that she kicks me out if I so much as go near the kitchen when we have these family dinners. And since she started the hormone treatment, she has been a bit bitchy when she gets mad, so I’ll just do whatever she says.”

Azriel chuckled. He could tell from Rhysand’s tone that Feyre had been more than “a bit” bitchy.

“I don’t understand why she lets Azriel help, though…”

“Maybe because she knows that I’ll tell her to sit down with a glass of wine and a magazine, and then she can take all of the credit for the food?”

“Fair enough.” Rhys shrugged. “Just burn the food a little bit, or it won’t be believable.”

Cassian snorted. “No one would believe that something edible was made by your wife. Sorry.”

“She does make a great green smoothie, though,” Rhys grinned and held up his glass.

Azriel and Cassian looked at each other and had to bite their tongues to keep from laughing. The smoothie looked vile and smelled even worse.

After a few more minutes of small talk, Rhys went back to his office for an important phone call. “See you on Saturday,” he reminded them before closing the door.

Azriel and Cassian worked in silence for the remainder of the day.

When Azriel came home that evening, he made a quick pasta carbonara to eat in front of the TV. He was re-watching New Girl. It was his comfort show and absolutely nobody knew that he watched it (and had watched it multiple times). He would take that information with him to the grave. But it was fun and cute and sometimes he liked to imagine his friends as characters in the show. Cassian was probably Schmidt, because Nesta was one hundred percent Cece. Feyre was Jess, which meant that Rhys was Nick. And then there was Azriel. He wanted to say that he was a very cool character, but most characters on this show weren’t cool, and also, he was definitely Winston. Alone with a cat - sounds about right , Azriel thought to himself as he finished his bowl of pasta.

When the episode ended he just waited for the next to start. He didn’t have any plans for the night and nowhere to be. His phone vibrated where he had left it on the kitchen counter. He ignored it, feeling too lazy to get up. But then it vibrated again. With a sigh, he got up. He expected to see a text from Mor telling him to bring wine tomorrow, or maybe a strange meme from Cassian. What he didn’t expect was to see Elain’s name on his screen.

He could feel his heart in his throat as he read her messages.

Elain Hey, Shadowsinger. I’m uploading a new video soon. You should watch it!

Elain I hope that message didn’t sound creepy? I just meant that I think you might like it.

Azriel’s hands were sweaty.

Azriel You didn’t sound creepy at all. Of course, I’ll watch your video. May I ask what I can expect from it?

Just seconds later, Elain answered.

Elain You can ask, but I might not tell ;)

Azriel Should I be worried?

Elain Haha, no! I think it turned out great. You were my inspiration :)

Azriel could feel himself blush. He had never been someone’s inspiration before.

Azriel So, I’m your muse? ;)

Oh god, was that too flirty? Was the winky-face too much? He wished that he could take back the message.

Elain For tonight, yes!

Azriel stared at his phone, unsure of what to answer. Luckily, Elain wrote to him again.

Elain What are you doing tonight?

Azriel Nothing. Just eating pasta and watching TV. How about you?

Elain That sounds amazing. I have been editing this video for hours so I’m just tired and cranky, haha. I have just ordered a pizza and I think I’ll just eat it in bed as soon as this video has finished uploading. What did you watch?

Azriel If I told you, I would have to kill you.

Elain Oh, intriguing! Is it trashy drama? I bet it’s Grey’s anatomy! Or maybe… Love Island?

Azriel stared at his phone. Did she really think that he would watch something like Love Island?

Azriel I watched New Girl, okay. Don’t tell anyone.

Elain Your secret is safe with me! Also, I love New Girl! Especially Winston!

It felt as if someone was squeezing Azriel’s heart.

Azriel Really? Which character would you be?

Elain My pizza is here so I am going to put all of my electronics in a different room and eat my pizza while reading a good book. It was great talking to you, Azriel! Please tell me what you thought of the video when you have watched it.

Elain Oh, and I would probably be Winston’s cat. lol

Azriel almost dropped his phone. If he had to be alone with a cat for the rest of his life, he would definitely want Elain to be his cat , he thought to himself. Which was a weird thing to think about someone you didn’t know. Azriel dropped his head to his kitchen counter and took a deep breath before replying.

Azriel It was great talking to you too, Elain. Enjoy your dinner and your book :)

She didn’t answer, but she didn’t have to. Azriel was going to be thinking about her for the rest of the night anyway.

30 minutes later, he got a notification telling him that Flower Girl ASMR had uploaded a new video. The video was called “ASMR for IT-guys”, which made him chuckle. He clicked the video and Elain’s beautiful face filled his screen again.

“Hello, my lovelies, lovelies, lovelies,” she whispered in her microphone. “This week’s video will be a bit different,” she continued, slowly moving her hands in front of the camera. “This video was inspired by my friend who recently helped me with some computer-related issues, issues, issues.”

Azriel loved it when she repeated words like that. And he liked that he somehow was a part of this video. It was something that connected them. Azriel paused the video and got into bed, knowing fully well that he would probably fall asleep soon if he kept watching this.

He pressed play again. “So, today, I thought that we would try a few computer-related triggers. I have a keyboard here,” she said and started typing on a keyboard that was out of view. “I thought that I would say a few trigger words while typing them.”

She smiled at the camera and pressed a few more keys. “I just wrote my friend’s name, but you won’t get to know who he is. But you know who you are. Thank you for your help!”

Azriel felt all warm inside.

She continued the video. “The first trigger word is IP address ”. Azriel laughed as she repeated the word multiple times while typing quickly.

“And then we have, laptop, laptop, laptop,” she continued, and Azriel felt shivers go down his spine when she popped the p’s.

Azriel had never thought that he would fall asleep to someone whispering “HTML coding” in his ears, but here he was. Relaxed and ready to sleep.

All thanks to Flower Girl ASMR.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

The next day, Azriel texted Elain that he had loved the video. He waited for hours, but no reply came. Maybe she just wanted to repay me for helping her? Azriel thought. Maybe she would stop talking to him now that he had seen the video.

The thought of never talking to Elain again made him feel a new kind of ache in his chest. An ache he didn’t want to feel. This stupid crush needs to end, he muttered to himself as he started to scrub his kitchen counter. He tried to ignore the feeling by keeping busy. He cleaned his apartment and did some laundry before heading over to his friends’ house.

Rhys greeted him by the door and ushered him inside.

“She started cooking like 15 minutes ago, please save whatever can be saved,” he whispered to Azriel. Azriel chuckled and made his way to the kitchen. On the way there, he passed the living room and stopped to greet his friends. He saw most of them on a daily basis because of work, but he was still happy to see them. Cassian and his fiancée Nesta sat close together on one of the green velvet couches. On the opposite couch sat Mor and Amren. Mor was one of the journalists at Velaris News, and Amren was an editor. They had known each other for years. Amren and Rhys had studied together at university, and Mor was Rhysand’s cousin. Once upon a time, Azriel had a crush on Mor. One night after one too many glasses at Rita’s he confessed his feelings to her and she had looked horrified. He had expected her to tell him that she didn’t fancy him and leave it at that, but instead, she had blurted “I like girls!”

Azriel was the first person she ever came out to, and he had felt honored. He also knew now that they wouldn’t have worked out together in the long run (even if Mor had been straight). They were just too different. She was energetic and outgoing and fun, he needed peace and quiet. But she was still one of his very best friends.

Amren on the other hand, he didn’t know as well. She had always been very private, but she was damn good at her job.

“Where’s Varian tonight?” Azriel asked Amren, trying to make small talk.

“How should I know?” she answered quickly. “I’m not his mother.”

Cassian stared at her. “But you are his girlfriend?”

She shrugged. “I don’t like to label things.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. Amren had lived with Varian for the past two years, but she was still reluctant to tell anyone about their relationship.

Azriel made his way into the kitchen, and from what he could tell, he made it just in time.

“What are you making, Feyre?” he asked, because truthfully, he couldn’t tell.

Feyre turned around quickly as if he had startled her. “Oh, hi Az,” she said and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand.

Something was burning.

“I was trying to make lamb chops with glazed carrots, roasted potatoes, and salsa verde, but…” she gestured to the stove, which looked like a disaster.

Azriel chuckled. “That’s ambitious.” He lifted the lid from one of the pots and could clearly see that she had overcooked the lamb 10 minutes ago. Also, why had she made them in a pot, and not a frying pan? It would be inedible.

The potatoes were still in the sink, unpeeled.

She gave him a strained smile. “Will you help me?”

“Of course.” Azriel put the grocery bag he had brought with him on the kitchen island. “On one condition.”

“Anything.” She sounded desperate.

“Please, for the love of god, let Rhys cook when we come over. You really don’t have to show off. You are good at many things, Feyre. But cooking is unfortunately not one of them.”

She nodded. “I know,” she sat down on one of the stools at the kitchen island and buried her face in her hand. “I just...I need to be able to cook when I become a mother.”

Azriel took her hand in his. “You really don’t. Nobody expect fathers to be good at cooking, so why should every mother be good at it? Honestly, just let Rhys cook while you play with the kids.”

She smiled at him. “That actually sounds amazing,” she sighed.

“Right?”

Azriel started to pull out some ingredients from the bag on the kitchen island. He held up the tomatoes and the spaghetti, “How about some pasta arrabbiata with burrata?”

“Sounds fancy.”

He shrugged. “Everything sounds fancier in a different language. It’s just pasta with a spicy tomato sauce, and burrata on top.”

“Whatever you make will probably be better than that mess,” she said and glanced towards the stove. Azriel couldn’t disagree.

“Probably,” he laughed and got to work. Azriel placed all the pots and pans in the sink and started chopping the vegetables for the sauce, and in just 30 minutes, dinner was served.

“You are my hero,” Feyre said and kissed his cheek as she carried the big bowl of pasta to the dining room.

Everyone had already gathered around the table, wine glasses in hand. As Azriel sat down, Mor poured him some wine.

“This looks amazing,” Nesta said and Cassian nodded in agreement.

“Thanks, Az helped a little,” Feyre said and winked at Azriel.

“Just a bit,” Azriel said and took a sip of wine.

The conversation (and wine) flowed freely, as it always did. Cassian and Nesta told them about their wedding plans, Mor gushed about Emerie, a girl she was dating, and Feyre told them about life as a high school art teacher. Azriel would never understand how anyone could choose to spend their days with teenagers, but Feyre loved it.

After two bottles of wine, Nesta and Mor were in an argument about which animal was the cutest.

“No, I am telling you, Sloths are cuter than any animal ever,” Mor exclaimed. “Have you seen their dopey little faces?”

“Sloths? Really?” Nesta looked at her as if she had suggested that the sky was green. “Red pandas are way cuter! They are cute and cuddly, Sloths just look like every single stoner I went to high school with.”

They had been at it for 10 minutes, which Azriel found to be quite impressive.

“Can you both just shut up?” Amren gritted out. “The cutest animals are koalas. They’re even cute when they fight. I am right, you are wrong. Please stop this meaningless discussion before I die from boredom.”

Nesta and Mor looked at Amren, and then at each other.

“We obviously have to see Koalas fight if you want us to end this conversation,” Mor said.

Nesta nodded. “Obviously. Give me your phone, Az,” she said and reached for his phone.

“Why do you need my phone?”

“Because mine is dead and yours is right there on the table. Also, your screen is big and we need to watch this in full HD, for obvious reasons.”

Azriel huffed a laugh, unlocked his phone, and handed it to Nesta.

She clicked the Youtube app, and then her face fell. She looked at Azriel as if he was an alien, and then she showed the phone to Cassian who looked at him with the same facial expression.

What the hell had they found?

He didn’t have anything weird on his phone. And he sure as hell didn’t watch porn on it.

“What?” Azriel asked, and Nesta turned the phone.

Fuck. The last video he had watched was still loaded on Youtube, and of course, it was Elain’s latest video.

“What the hell is this?” Nesta asked, almost looking angry.

Azriel didn’t understand why she found ASMR so wrong, but he desperately wanted to explain himself.

“Well, it’s ASMR. It’s kind of… well, it’s hard to explain, but it helps me sleep and– “

Nesta interrupted him before he could finish. “I know what ASMR is. I am wondering why you are watching Elain?”

Azriel stared at Nesta in shock. Did she also like Elain’s videos? But that wouldn’t explain the anger and confusion.

“Do you...know her?” Azriel asked.

“Yes, we went to university together. She’s our florist for the wedding. She was the florist at their wedding, too,” Nesta answered and gestured towards Rhys and Feyre. “Surely you have met her?”

Azriel could do nothing but shake his head in confusion. If he had ever met Elain, he would have known. You didn’t forget a face like hers.

“Please tell me you’re not stalking her like some creep, Az. Honestly, her last boyfriend was the world’s biggest asshat.”

“I’m not stalking her,” Azriel blurted out. “I’m just watching her videos to fall asleep, I promise. I– I didn’t know that you knew her.”

Nesta eyed him suspiciously. “So, is this just a coincidence?”

He nodded. “Weirder things have happened,” he said, trying to lighten the mood.

Nesta glanced at Cassian, and then back at Azriel. “Fine,” she said after a small eternity. “You would probably be cute together anyway. Sorry for insinuating that you would be a stalker.” She really did look remorseful. “That wasn’t fair. I’m just very protective of her. She’s the nicest girl, but she has horrendous taste in men.”

Azriel couldn’t answer, because his mind was still stuck on the fact that Nesta said that they would be cute together. He wanted to ask Nesta why she thought that. He kind of also wanted to ask her if Elain lived here in Velaris, and what her favorite movie was, and if she, by any chance, had a boyfriend. But he refrained, he didn’t want to sound like a stalker.

“So, what the fuck is ASMR?” Cassian asked. “Is it like porn?”

Before Azriel could answer, Rhys said “It’s like porn for your ears, I guess,” and then the entire table was laughing.

“Nesta,” Feyre said when the laughter had died down. “Does Elain still have that cute, little shop on River Street?”

“Mhm,” Nesta answered and took a sip of her wine.

Azriel could kiss Feyre for asking. And if he wasn’t mistaken, he could see her wink in his direction before raising her water glass to her lips.

Azriel walked home that evening with a million thoughts in his head.

He made a list in his head:

Elain lived in Velaris

River Street was literally a 10-minute walk from his home.

Nesta thought that they would be cute together

This meant nothing

She probably didn’t even like him back

Just because they were in the same city, it didn’t mean that they would ever meet.

This was still just a crush

And it was probably one-sided

She hadn’t even answered his latest text message.

And as if on cue, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

Elain I’m sorry that I didn’t answer you earlier. I’ve been at work all day. We had a leak in the basement and everything was just chaos. I haven’t even checked my phone until now.

He mentally scratched number 9 from his list.

Azriel No worries! Did you fix the leak?

Azriel checked the time on his phone: 23.30

Had she dealt with this leak until now?

Elain Yes! But so many flowers were ruined (I’m a florist) and I had to remake a few arrangements for a wedding that’s coming up.

Elain I’m sorry. You probably don’t care. I’m happy that you liked the video :)

Azriel wanted to tell her that he did care. That everything she said was interesting to him. He would probably even find her Starbucks order fascinating. But that bordered on stalker behavior.

Azriel Again, no worries! Sometimes when you’ve had a bad day, you just need someone to vent to.

Elain Exactly! Thank you for letting me vent :) This day is finally over!

There was a selfie attached to the last message.

Elain was standing in front of a big window surrounded by flowers. She was wearing a white, oversized shirt and her hair was in a messy bun. She looked tired but happy. She was giving him ‘thumbs up’ in the photo and through the window, he could see the Sidra. They were indeed in the same city. It made him both happy and nervous.

Elain Sweaty but happy to be heading home :)

Azriel received that last message when he walked through the door to his apartment. What the hell was he supposed to answer?

But then he thought back to Nesta’s words.

You would probably be cute together.

So he took a deep breath and gathered all his courage.

Azriel You still look beautiful though

He stared at his phone. Would she answer? Would she block him? Would she tell him to stop being a creep?

Elain Thank you :) What do you look like? I might have forgotten ;)

Okay. That was flirty. Even Azriel could tell that that was a flirty text message, and he was usually oblivious to such things. He quickly walked to his bathroom (it was the room with the best lighting). He checked his shirt (no stains) and mussed with his hair.

“Good enough,” he muttered, and snapped a selfie.

Before he could chicken out, he sent it to her.

Within seconds, he received a reply.

Elain Beautiful!

[nightowlfandom]

Bully! Park Jimin- I’m Your Devil (DIRRRRTTYY)

So...I got a new computer and I have no clue how to screenshot on it as of now...and tbh I don’t feel like figuring out how. SO I’m gonna be experimenting with some layouts but until then you just have these annoying announcements.

Anyways, ANON ASKS  🧑🏿‍🎤  🧑🏿‍🎤  🧑🏿‍🎤 (you know who you are wink wink)

may I request a really aggressive schoolbully!jimin / sadistic!jimin smut inspired by the songs daddy issues, into it, and the hills :) 

Y’all some masochists but I ain’t mad.

Just know ya worth and if anyone treats you like this in real life, punch them in the balls. That being said, This is also LOOOONG. I didn’t plan for it to be but yeah. ALSO I GOT YOUR OTHER ASK SO I GOT CHU. I’m not sure if this is good but I hope I did you justice.

Reader who isn’t a virgin, really mean bully man, more foreplay than actual smut lol sorry, touch of diet-angst

Leggo.

...

“Okay class, what do you think the author was trying to say when she was describing her relationship with Damien?”

You sat at your desk, chin propped up in your hand as you gazed off longingly into space. This was one of the rare times you decided to pay attention because your class was reading your favorite book. “The Young Devil” (Completely made up lol). 

“She’s obviously a broken woman if she thinks Damien is ever gonna change his ways. She’s a stiff.” a comment made you practically fall forward. You turned your head to find the culprit of who said such a thing about your favorite character. “Anyways, she’s too safe. She couldn’t handle his issues.”

“Well maybe if Damien made an effort to open himself up, Belle wouldn’t have to pry so hard.” another girl rolled her eyes. “Men always think women can’t handle what they throw when in reality we take the heat for your dumb asses.”

“Interesting conversation. Y/N, what do you think?” the teacher took note that you were paying more attention and turned her sights on you. “What do you think about the dynamic between Damien and Belle?”

You cursed yourself for looking too interested. You hated speaking. “I...Um.” you opened your mouth and closed it again, unsure of what to say. “I think Damien’s refusal to allow Belle to see the other side of him not only puts their mental connection at risk, but physical as well.” you replied. 

“What do you mean physical?” she egged you on to elaborate. “As in sex?”

“W-well, yes and no.” you shrugged. “Belle prides herself on building connection through touch. She can’t have sex with Damien because she doesn’t feel loved by him. To him sex is just a thing you do. He gets his pleasure from bullying her, that’s his high.” you explained. “She claims she doesn’t care but if she didn’t, she wouldn’t spend her time wishing he was different...or something.” you played with your hands, staring down at your fingers.

The teacher stared at you before a smile broke out on her face. “Excellent analysis, Y/N!” she clapped her hands together. You returned the smile with the tiny bit of confidence that built up inside you. “Yes, Jimin did you have something you wanted to add?”

You turned your head to find the always mouthy Park Jimin lazily raising his hand. “She likes being bullied by him.” he said as if it was a matter of fact. 

“Excuse you?” you couldn’t help but speak out. Suddenly the entire class was quiet. They had never heard you speak so abruptly before. “What the hell do you mean she likes it.”

“She wouldn’t put up with it if she didn’t like it.” he raised an eyebrow. “She could just tell him to leave her alone, get lost or something.”

“How in the hell would Belle enjoy someone like Damien embarrassing her every minute he gets. Are we reading the same book?” you sat up straight crossing your arms. 

“Now this is getting interesting.” the teacher mumbled.

“You can tell by her actions. The rush of her blood when she blushes, the way she stammers over her words, the way she listens to his every word...much like you are right now, princess.” he winked. His smug grin alone made your blood boil.

“Oh and I suppose his possessive ways are warranted in your eyes too aren’t they.” you scoffed.

“Maybe, I mean she even says herself she feels cared about.” he shrugged.

“Because Damien is a manipulative dickhead!” you snapped. “He obviously wants her around because she’s the only girl who gives a shit about his life and he’d feel lost without her.” you snarled. “Then again I would expect this point of view from a man who changes bitches like he changes his underwear.” (A/N we don’t hate women here).

“Language Miss. L/N.” the teacher spoke. You rolled your eyes, glaring at Jimin one last time before facing forward. The whole class was silent.

“Nice one Y/N” a girl on your opposite side nudges you.

“Not bad for a quiet girl.” a boy piped up.

...

As classes were let out for the day you wordlessly avoided the looks you got from your other classmates. You walked down the halls, holding your books tightly to your chest. 

“Oi, Hey L/N!” 

You weren’t sure if the sound of Jimin’s voice made you wanna speed up or slow down. It didn’t matter because he went as far as to run and stop right in front of you. 

“Um..What?” you looked up at him.

“Oh, not excited to see me?” he scoffed with a sadistic smile. You didn’t know what he was planning but you didn’t like it. “Way to try and debate me in class today, who knew you had a mouth on you.”

“I was just answering the teachers question..I don’t want any trouble..” you clutched your books even tighter. Before he could reply a girl ran up, practically attaching herself to him. 

“JIMMY YOU HAVE DANCE PRACTICE!” she practically screeched. “Why are you talking to her?”

“Oh...Y/N here was-” he paused. “Just confessing her undying love for me!”

“What! No I wasn’t!” you tried to deny, but it was too late. Everyone who was around heard him. “I don’t have a crush on you!” You felt your face heart up.

“Oh Y/N, You don’t have to hide it! Why else would you speak to me passionately in class today.” his sick grin never left his face. You could tell this was his revenge for embarrassing him in class. “You were telling me all about how you couldn’t sleep another night without telling me. How you want me in more ways than one.”

He spoke loud enough so others could hear.

“That’s not true!” you snapped. You were trembling. Humiliation filled your body and was overflowing, much like the tears of embarrassment you couldn’t fight anymore. “I’m not in love with you.”

“Oh Y/N, you don’t have to hide it anymore. I know everything. The love letters, the staring-”

“What?!”

But it was too late, people were already giggling and staring at you with pity. You took one last look at Jimin, who was already walking away, gleefully accepting the high fives from the pigs who dared to say ‘Nice score.’

“Are you alright, Y/N?’ a girl came up to you, putting her hand on your shoulder. “Should we go to the headmaster?” 

You didn’t answer, you just ran. You ran out the school, unknowingly into the pouring rain. It seemed the sky matched your mood today. You let out all the tears, not caring who saw or who looked at you as if you had lost your mind. Your house was far, but you didn’t care about that either. In that moment you felt as helpless as the character you loved dearly, Belle. 

...

You ignored everyone the next day, even your small group of lunch buddies. You worked alone, you sat alone at lunch, and by the time free period had rolled around, you had opted to hide. However, just as you prepared yourself to leave, who else but Jimin to stopped you in the middle of the halls. 

“Well if it isn’t my little admirer!” Jimin spoke loud enough to capture the attention of those around you. He ‘accidentally’ slapped your books out of your hands. “Oh, I’m sorry Y/N...Go ahead, pick those up.”

Without another word you knelt down, only to have him kick one of your books to the side. “What’s this! A diary!” 

A brown and black leather bound hardcover book sat at his feet. You instantly scrambled to get it, but he had managed to get his hands on it. “Isn’t this interesting!” 

“Jimin please don’t-!” you stood up, forgetting about your textbooks.

“Dear friend,-” he cleared his throat dramatically as he flipped through the pages of your diary.

Dear journal,

My life is nothing like stories I read about all the time. Each and every night I’d wish for my handsome devil to come. Come and take me away from here, away from the hate, away from the commotion, away from Park fucking Jimin. I don’t know what I’ve done to make him hate me the way he does. I just wish he’d be nice to me...just once. But that is one wish I know won’t come true. He’s just a sadistic asshole who bullies me because he knows I won’t say a word.

So why do i-

You snatched the book out of his hands before he could read any more, this time you were seething with rage. “If you EVER touch my property again I will- I’ll-”

“You’ll do what princess?” he smiled cheekily. “You won’t do a thing to me and we both know it...you’re just like that Belle chick. That handsome devil of yours is just a fever dream, get over it-.”

“Maybe, but I’d rather live in a dream than talk to Satan himself.” you snapped. “You’re just the devil.” you whimpered. “Why do I even put up with you?” you sighed. Jimin suddenly stepped forward. You mentally prepared yourself for the worst.

You felt his lips touch the side of your mouth, had you moved just a bit more, he would have been on your lips. “Because you love me.”

....

“For this project, I will be assigning you partners

Oh shit...please no. God, no. Dear lord if anyone can hear-

“Alex and Jackson. Lisa and Mark, Y/N and Jimin-”

“Fuck.” you mouthed. You dared looked next to you. Jimin was playfully leaning his cheek against the palm of his hand. He winked at you, taking his bottom lip between his teeth. 

“You will be doing book reports on The Young Devil. You choose the topic, this is due in two weeks. I recommend you get together outside of school.”

As class let out, Jimin followed you. “Sooo, partner! When am I coming over?”

“When pigs fly.” you answered sourly.

“Saturday at 7:00 you said? I’ll be there!” he threw an arm around your waist. “See you there, babe.”

“You don’t even know my address!” you called after him as he walked off. That probably wasn’t the best idea because everyone was staring at you again. “NO! BECAUSE WE HAVE A PROJECT....Nevermind.” you groaned. 

... (Saturday 7:30 PM)

“You’re late.” you seethed as you pulled open the door. Jimin sauntered in and you slammed the door.

Soon it was silent between you two. Before he could open his mouth, you left him standing there to bolt up the stairs. Jimin, being himself followed you. To be honest, you were already starting without him.

“Do you live alone?” he asked, noticing how empty your home was.

“I do.” you replied curtly. “My parents travel around a lot, so I never see them.” you shrugged. “They help me out though.”

“So mommy and daddy take care of everything-”

“You don’t know me.” you cut him off. You sat down at your desk and pulled up your notes, proceeding to work. “They help me because they care...unlike some people.” you scoffed.  “Shut up so I can concentrate.”

“I thought this was a partner thing.” you heard your bed creak. “I think we should put out minds...maybe bodies together and think of a concept.”

“I already have one.” you cut him off.

“Enlighten me.”

“If Damien hadn’t changed by the end of the book, would Belle still be with him.” you mused aloud.

“Probably.”

“....” you didn’t reply, because you didn’t want to admit he was right. Probably the only time you’d ever agree with him on anything. 

“What? Still mad at me for reading your little diary?” he asked. Once again, you ignored him. Suddenly, your chair was turned around abruptly and you were now staring at a red faced Jimin. “I don’t like being ignored, doll.”

He was so close, your noses were practically touching. You froze up, afraid to move. 

“Why are you so mean?” you found yourself asking. “What did I ever do to you?”

“Other than refuse to drop that good girl act of yours? We’re a dysfunctional two peas in a pod. I’m an asshole and you’re too much of a stiff to stop me.”

“Act?” you looked confused. “I don’t have an act.” you attempted to defend yourself. 

“Hm...that face you make is kind of hot.” he smirked. He slid his fingertips under your chin. Your vision went blurry, unable to process everything. You absent-mindedly began playing with the hem of your sweater.

(SMUT AHEAD, PROCEED WITH CAUTION)

“What is your deal!?” you found yourself getting angry as you stood up. Jimin stepped back looking startled. “You’re messing with my fucking head and I’ve had enough! Jimin what did I ever do to you?” you felt it again. Humiliation. “I’m not asking you to be my friend but the least you could do is be nice to me!”

“I don’t do nice, sweetheart. Like you said, I’m the devil.” he walked up to you. “Your blush is like a drug to me.” he laughed. “It’s cute.” he rested his hands on either side of your face. “Fuck, I kinda wanna kiss you right now. Do you wanna kiss me?”

YES!

“Yes, I mean no! I mean yes- I mean maybe, I mean fuck!”

Not even a second later, Jimin’s lips were over yours. Despite his bullying, his kiss was gentle. You practically melted. He protectively wrapped an arm around your waist. Your thoughts on the project were long gone. Jimin couldn’t figure out why he felt so protective of you all of a sudden, but thoughts ran through his head. Thoughts that if anyone else kissed you, touched, you even looked your way...he’d go ballistic.

And fuck, you were a great kisser. He held the back of your head with his free hand, guiding you into his touch, which you followed perfectly. His tongue slid through the gap in your mouth, yearning to taste you more. You felt lightheaded as if your heart was about to give out. He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours.

“Maybe I’m so cruel because I don’t know how to act around you.” he whispered. “Maybe I’m trying to be the devil you want so bad.” you could see a flash of sadness in his eyes, which was quickly replaced with lust. “I wanna be your devil, Y/N...”

He kissed you again, this time his warm hands slithered under your clothes. You were by no means a virgin, but the way you felt made you feel shy and exposed. Jimin walked you back towards your bed and practically threw you on the plush surface while he rid himself of his shirt. Your bodies practically melted together, bodies meeting in a sweaty mass of limbs that explored one another. 

Be fumbled with your pants, almost tearing them off you. He gave you a sadistic smile before ghosting his lips over both your thighs. Your legs shook, trying to keep them steady. 

“Have you ever...done anything with anyone?” he asked.

“Once, but nothing special.” you admitted. “It was straight to the point.” you shrugged.

“Then I guess I have nothing to compete against.” he bit his lips. “You smell so good here.” he shuddered. “I wanna-”

He yanked down your panties next. His lips ghosted over your slit, pressing feather light kisses against you. 

You held your breath, unable to register what was going on. His fingers met your clit, sliding his fingers through your slickness. Before you could say another word, Jimin licked a stripe up your slit. You bucked your hips, only to be held down. He sucked harshly at your clit before playing with your little bud with his tongue. 

“F-fuh-” you couldn’t even muster up the words as Jimin played with you. 

“Fuck Y/N.” he groaned. You felt his fingers slid inside of you, coating his fingers in your water. “I don’t know what’s hotter, the look on your face or the way your-”

“D-don’t say it!” you cut him off. “I’m warning you!”

“What?” you could just see she shit-eating grin on his face. “You mean pussy? The way this pussy takes my fingers so well?” (Now from the top, make it drop- I’ll shut up)

He abruptly removed his fingers which made your back arch and lurch upwards. You sat up on his elbows only to witness Jimin rid himself on his pants and boxers. Your eyes widened when you saw his hardness. You couldn’t look away. 

“See something you like?” his voice made you snap out of it. He bit his lip with a grin. He grabbed your legs and aligned himself with you, teasing the hell out of your entrance, just barely touching you with his length. “Am I your devil, Y/N?”

“God, yes.” you couldn’t fight it anymore. 

Slowly, he slid in, groaning at the feel of you around his dick. “Shit Y/N...How the hell am I gonna move when you’re so t-tight. I won’t last 10 seconds.” he whimpered. He slowly thrust again, your juices creating a deep echo in the room. “Hah...Ungh...f-fu” he planted his hands on the bed, one either side of your head. “Y/N...You don’t know what you do to me.”

“J-jimin.” you mirrored his voice, wrapping your arms around his neck. “P-please?”

That was all the motivation he needed to start moving. 

Your moans and yells echoes through the room, the clapping sound of flesh hitting flesh bounced off the walls. Sweat kept your bodies practically glues together. His fingers moved everywhere. Grabbing your sweater that for some reason was still on, grabbing your legs to pull you back into him. Your face to move your hair out of the way so he could witness the euphoria written shamelessly on your face. His jaw went slack and he felt himself getting to that part, and he could tell you were close too.

You were first, practically convulsing under him, screams of his name escaping your lungs.

“ARGH, FUCK!” He followed suit and immediately removed himself from you, only to spray himself...all over your sweater and legs. He felt forward, practically shaking against you. He messily kissed you, not bothering to think about neatness as his tongue invaded your mouth for the umpteenth time.

“Mind if I crash here tonight?” he laughed as he plopped next to you. 

“Sure.” you breathlessly replied. “Project can wait till tomorrow.”

As you drifted off to sleep, Jimin shimmied out of bed and walked over to the open window. He felt the breeze on his skin and closed his eyes. “Please.” He whispered. “I want to treat her well...don’t let me fuck it up.” He silently wished before joining you in bed again, protectively wrapping his arms around you. “I’ll do anything for you, Y/N...I’m your devil....”

...

Cheesy ending I know but what did ya think?! 

[atsumiye]

Yeah let's have it lol. And it might be small to others but it's big to you so it still matters.

STOP HJSAFGHGDIQWUOHGUBHA i love you thank you!!! you are very sweet for saying that <333 i love complaining to people!! this is fun and i switched to my computer so i could type more and faster lmao long rant ahead

OKAY OKAY lets start with the fact that i couldnt fall asleep last night no matter how exhausted i was. ill blame it on pre school jitters but it was annoying bc i am not a morning person. right so i have to go to this place thats like 30 min away from me by bus for my ONE class so i had to wake up extra early too so ofc!! i was tired!!! and i knew it would happen so i planned everything and set it all up so it would move a bit faster in the morning (SOB i am someone who takes 15 minutes to like put on socks in the morning if im tired) also!! i just got back to my apartment like a few days ago so everything is still in suitcase (im lazy) so i knew i would need something or whatever and so i planned for it. ANYWAY everything was going okay UNTIL i put on my outfit i was so excited for. okay listen i bought this sweater right before covid happened and its so cute and never got to wear t so ive been pumped and i purposely laid it out flat so it wouldnt wrinkle and then this morning IT WAS SO WRINKLY and then i put on these pants that i love that literally fit last week and they were like falling down and i couldnt do anything about it bc i didnt want to be late and my hair was straightening properly so i looked dumb I WILL ADMIT THOUGH my makeup and jewelry looked poppin. get to the bus only to find out that this deal the used to have of like 3 months of free bus rides for quite cheap NO LONGER EXISTS so now my budget for the month is all out of wack too. now, my friend told me to wait for her only for her to SHOW UP LATE and then get MAD AT ME when i told her i would go by myself to class. SCREAMS and we arent even done. its still only 8:50 am at this point. we get to class and i realize I DONT THINK I UNPLUGGED MY STRAIGHTENER i live alone so this??? is an issue. so im concerned the whole class and then my teacher tells me i have 3 weeks to make a 20 page thesis <333 and wouldnt give us good examples of what kind of topics to pick <333 now class ends early so thats a plus and me and my friend decide to go eat lunch later which is something to look forward to but i get to the bus station and start waiting with some friends but there is a ton of traffic due to construction so we waited for 30 minutes, in the cold, for a bus that NEVER SHOWED UP. so my friends decide we should walk home. and im so panicked thinking about how i might have almost started the biggest fire in world history i agree. AND on the way once we start walking this guy i used to LIKE a lot literally ignored me this morning so i made sure to say hi to him when i walked past him and he was so dry :l and im over my little crush on him but??? you cant IGNORE ME??? anyway back to the walking home. BABE ITS AN HOUR AND 15 MINUTE WALK AND I START SWEATING. and my white shoes got really dirty. then i say goodbye to my friends and he tries to hug me but i realize i have like a mini lake underneath my sweater so i dodge him and look like an idiot <333 then i embarrass myself over text to my hopefully soon-to-be boyfriend. but i get home and my straightener was unplugged so all was good but then i wait until 3 pm for my friend to answer my texts about lunch only for her to go eat lunch with her parents :D without telling me :D and ive been starving for hours :D then!!! this lady who was supposed to help me clean my kitchen CANCELLED AGAIN. so i took a nap and woke up late and now i wont be able to sleep. as i said this may seem so insignificant but it kept piling on and these are only the things i can remember <333 there was definitely so much more <33

and honestly this is truly how my days go like one time i went to go get coffee and came home to the police bc the mafia set a car on fire near me <33 this is how my life runs <33 me and my near death experiences <33 ANYWAY this part was kinda unrelated but i felt like it needed to be added. so if you made it to the end of this without wanting to claw your eyes out thanks <333 and if you want any more story times pls let me know i will literally talk about them any day any time akgduewd

[purplesurveys]

1119

survey by icantloveu

Today:

Who was the first person you saw? It was my dad. I fell asleep in the living room last night and he was the first person to go downstairs.

Who was the first person who called you? I have not received any call today so far and I’m not expecting any to come through today, a Sunday.

Who was the first person you called? I haven’t called anyone, either. The closest is an eyewear store I messaged on Messenger just a few minutes ago to ask if they accept walk-ins, since I didn’t know they’ve mostly taken appointments throughout the pandemic. If they don’t, I’ll have to wait until Thursday to get a check-up.

What was the first thing you did? I was mad at myself for falling asleep early last night and kinda wasting my weekend, so the second I opened my eyes I got up and looked for a survey to answer, lol.

What'd you have for breakfast? Fried rice, eggs, hotdogs, kikiam, and danggit, with crab paste.

Lunch? Skipped lunch as always since we have late breakfast. I might make coffee.

Dinner? I’m still indecisive on whether I’ll have dinner at home or somewhere outside. In any case, I can’t tell what I’ll be eating just yet.

Who'd you hang out with? I’ll be just by myself today.

What'd you do? I plan on taking a couple more surveys after this. I also wanna do some work ahead of tomorrow and watch the newest episode of 2 Days 1 Night as well.

Favorite song you heard? I am finding Ravi and Lee Naeun’s Rain Drop preeeeeeetty catchy.

Did you see anyone you hadn't seen in awhile? Not today. But last Friday this was the case as I saw Al, Pia, Kyelle, Gab, and Sam for the very first time in well over a year. Angela and Hans were part of the group as well but we were able to see each other during the holidays.

Last:

Thing you ate? The last spoonful of my rice, which I think I topped with the last of my egg and hotdog.

Movie you saw? Midsommar, I think. Last Christmas. I don’t watch a lot of movies anymore.

Girl you hugged? Angela. We saw each other for like, 15 seconds yesterday afternoon so that she could return the abaca mat I lent her for her graduation shoot.

Guy you hugged? I believe it was Hans, when we were saying bye last Friday. If not him, it would have been Al.

Family member you hugged? No idea. Maybe an aunt.

Type of soda you drank? I don’t drink any softdrinks. I did drink red wine that turned out to be carbonated last Valentine’s Day, though.

Flavor of gum you chewed? It’s a gimmick-y kind of gum that is extremely sour when you first pop it in your mouth; but once you start chewing it the sourness dies down and it goes back to the classic bubblegum taste.

Time you brushed your teeth? Last night.

Time you showered? Midnight yesterday when I got home from the aforementioned hangout with friends. I wasn’t able to take a shower yesterday because it had been freezing cold all day, but I plan on having one today.

Time you rode in the car? Yesterday when I drove out of the village to briefly meet up with Angela.

Word you said? Not sure; maybe just a ‘hi’? I greet my dogs a lot.

Person you talked on the phone to? My mom called me last night to tell me dinner was ready.

Time you cried? Genuinely no clue. I’d say a couple or even several weeks ago.

Currently:

Wearing? I have on an olive green sleveeless turtleneck top, and a pair of shorts.

Eating? None at the moment but I do feel like munching on something. Salted egg chips sound amazing right now, actually.

Drinking? Nothing, but I am in the mood for coffee.

Thinking? What else I can do today to maximize what’s left of my weekend.

Doing? [besides this survey] Looking at possible frames to buy for my new eyeglasses.

Friends:

Last friend's house you stayed at? Eugh, I think it had still been Gabie’s. I haven’t stayed at anyone else’s place during the pandemic so far; I’ve driven by Angela’s house briefly a couple of times, though. Mostly to just like return stuff or hand her a gift.

Last friend who stayed at your house? Angela and Hans.

Who has the coolest siblings? Probably Rita. All her siblings have got their own things and gigs and passions going on and I find that awesome. Of course, their family is filthy, old-money rich so their parents have more than enough money to let them sustain their hobbies, so I guess that’s a crucial factor in this too. But even then, they’re all humble and insanely nice so they’re still cool lol.

Who's an only child? Angela, Jo, Luisa, and I think Blanch??

Who have you gone on the most trips with? I don’t go on many trips with friends.

Who's met your family? Angela, and because of that one time my orgmates held a meeting at my house - Kate, Patrice, Jo, Jane, Aya, JM, and Edi.

Family:

Who's the craziest? There’s honestly a lot of chaos on my mom’s side, tbh. There’s past and current animosities, land issues, and general attitude problems among many of them. Of course, they try to hide it from the younger generation and everyone puts disagreements behind them during family gatherings; but the older I’ve gotten, the more my mom has let me in to some of the stories. That said, I can’t tell you who would be the craziest of them all.

Sanest? [is that a word] I would trust one of my aunts with my whole life, if it comes down to it. She has such a warm personality, is an amazing and sweet mom, and talking to her has always felt like talking to an old college friend that you’re having drinks with. I feel like I should do more for her as her niece, but yeah, I love her a lot.

Loudest? I will happily refer you to the entirety of my mom’s side, again. Everyone’s mode of communication seems to be yelling.

Lives the farthest away? Everyone who lives in the US.

Who do you live with? Both of my parents and my two siblings.

Has the most dogs? My dad’s immediate family, from whom Kimi actually came. There’s two dogs I can play with whenever we visit - Spike and Gucci - then they also have several other dogs but they aren’t too guest-friendly.

Has the most cats? My mom’s sister-in-law used to have like, 3 or 4 cats but I’m not sure if they’re still alive.

Has the most cars? I’m not sure. Most seem to have 1-3 which is the average for families anyway.

Random..

What color are your shoelaces? I’m not wearing any shoes at the moment.

Describe your sunglasses: I don’t own any.

Song you listened to last is...? Some jazz-y coffee shop-y tune I heard on YouTube.

Do you have a digital camera? Not anymore. I just use my phone to take photos.

What's the last type of cookie you ate? It had coffee and dark chocolate in it, but I can’t exactly remember what the name of the product is anymore.

Do you have your own computer? I have my own laptop. I never had a computer; I just went straight to having a laptop.

Describe your computer chair? I never had a computer chair per se but my work chair is nothing fancy, it’s just a plastic black chair that my parents bought initially just so that I had somewhere to sit on for my internship at my now-employer. Eventually I didn’t like how I was working in my room because I stopped being able to separate my personal life and my work life, so I’ve been working at the dining table these days.

Why is it called a computer chair anyways? I didn’t know this was a term, actually. I usually just keep hearing gaming chair.

What do you call the remote for the TV? Remote control, or sometimes just remote.

Do you have a crush on anyone? Nope.

What's on your walls? A few posters and wall decors. Some paintings from Gab towards which I have zero feelings or attachment anymore but I feel too lazy to take down.

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed. It would be impossible for me to fall asleep otherwise.

Can you fall asleep with the TV on? Sure, but the program has to be something I was watching to begin with so I can be lulled to sleep. If it’s a show about something I don’t find interesting, I might just find it as noise.

What is the last book you read? I don’t know.

What's your least favorite class? I don’t go to school anymore but in my final semester I hated my business writing class. I hated all my journalism classes, actually; but it was business writing that made me feel the most nervous.

Are you cold? I’m just right. It’s chilly enough not to need the fan, but I’m not shivering either.

Where are you? I’m in the living room.

What is touching your foot? The couch.

Are you wearing any jewelry? Nopes.

If so, what?

What's your name? Robyn.

Do you like it? Sure.

Would you change it if you could? Not at this point.

[for girls] Are you going to keep your last name when you get married? I would hyphenate it, yeah. This is also so that I get to keep my middle name as well.

[lovemesomesurveys]

How old is the last person you kissed on the cheek or lips? He’s 31 now. Will you ever be in love with the last person you kissed? That’s an odd question, like you can’t know for sure if you’ll fall in love with someone or not. Anyway, I was in love with him.  Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Those are the only type of jeans I own. What are you looking forward to in the next few months? Nothing. Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any tattoos? No.

Do you think you could live with your best friend? My best friend is my mom, who I do live with. Are you starting to realize anything? Nothing new that I can think of. Does seeing couples in love make you mad? I may be depressed and bitter, but no people being in love and happy doesn’t make me mad. How often do you wear makeup? I haven’t worn makeup in over 3 years now. This time last year, can you remember who you liked? I didn’t like anyone last year. It’s been a few years since I’ve liked someone. Are you drifting away from any friends? That already happened a few years ago. I don’t have any friends now. Do you believe ex's can really ever be "just friends"? It seems to work out for some. What are you doing tomorrow? Same stuff as always. When did you last go tanning? I don’t go tanning, but when I go to the beach I typically end up getting a tan because I spend so much time out there. That’s not why I go, but it’s an added bonus. Anyway, the last time I went was September 2019. I miss the beach so much. :( Who are you conversing with right now? No one. Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around? For the most part. If you were a ghost, who would you haunt first? I wouldn’t haunt anyone. What were you doing when you found out Michael Jackson was dead? I remember I was on the computer and started seeing articles about it, but I thought it was another hoax at the time cause things like that would circulate about other celebrities. The last person you kissed, was it a drunken or sober? It was sober. Do you want to see somebody right now? No. Do you prefer the ocean or pool? I love being near the ocean. I never get in it, though. Hold hands with anyone yesterday? No. Have you ever introduced yourself with a name other than your own? I probably did online back in the day when I was younger. Has the last person you texted ever been mad at you before? Possibly. Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth? Ha, yeah. I remember when Google Earth was new and the first thing a lot of people did was search their own house out of anywhere lmao. Next time you will kiss someone? I have no idea. I don’t see that happening anytime soon that’s for sure. Have you told anybody you loved them? My family, yes. Would it be more likely of you to fail Science or Math? Math.  Could you see yourself dropping out of High School? I graduated high school. Do you correct people when they make spelling mistakes on the internet? No. Do you think more about the past, present, or future? I dwell so much on the past and stress and worry about my present. The future scares me. Are any of your siblings married? Nope. Have you ever stayed in a hotel? Yeah, many times. If I were to look in your closet, what would I find? Medical supplies, clothes, shoes, and some other random stuff.

Who woke you up this morning? I haven’t gone to bed, yet. I have an alarm set, though. Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with? My aunt. Do you use an umbrella when it rains? Nah. When was the last time you had a lot of fun? My Disneyland trip last year. There’s a knock at your door, you say “Come in” and your ex enters. What do you think would happen next? I wouldn’t just say “come in” first of all, I’d check the security camera and see who it was and then depending on who it was I’d go unlock the door and let them in or not. We don’t leave our doors unlocked. If I saw my ex standing there, I honestly wouldn’t answer the door. It’s not because I have an issue with him or anything, but I do not want to see him or anyone. I’d be too self-conscious and embarrassed.  Do you consider yourself to be an atheist? No, I’m a Christian. How old is the last female you talked to? She’s in her mid 50s. Who did you last say “I hate you” to? Why did you say it? Did you actually mean it? Jokingly to my brother. I haven’t said that seriously to anyone. Are you currently nervous or anxious, for any reason at all? That’s me, full of anxiety and nerves. Is there someone who can always make you smile, no matter what? My doggo. Think of the last person, of the opposite sex, that you had a conversation with. Are you attracted to this person? Uh, no absolutely not that’s my brother. Do you remember the first time you met the last person you texted? I met him when he was born. The last time you cried, who was there to comfort you? I cried alone like I generally do. Could you tell me please, what color each of these things are? Your hair: A mix of my natural hair color (dark brown) and red. Your eyes: Brown. Your shirt: Black. Your socks: Pink and yellow. Your shoes: I’m not wearing shoes. Your underwear: Black. Your purse/wallet: I’ve been using my mini gray Adidas backpack. Your phone: Gold. Your computer/laptop: Silver with a rose gold case. Your earphones: Black. Your best friend’s hair: Black. Your best friend’s eyes: Brown. Have you ever told anyone that you wished you’d never met them? Did you mean it? No. Think of the person you had feelings for this time last year, and then think of the person you have feelings for now. Are these two people in any way similar, or totally different? Or, is it the same person? I didn’t have romantic feelings for anyone last year or now. Where are you located at this moment? I’m in my room on my bed. How exactly are you feeling right now? Tired and achey. Is there anything bothering you? Of course there is. On a scale of 1 to 10, how interesting has your day been? Why? It’s only 4:35AM, but my days aren’t very interesting and I don’t see today being any different. What was your most recent reason for smiling / laughing? A YouTube video. Are you attracted to the last person you talked to? No, that was my brother. Do you like your middle name, or does it embarrass you? I like it. Have you cried at all today? Not so far. Are your toenails painted? Nope. I never paint my toenails. Has anyone called you "sexy" today? Uh, no. Have you bought any new clothes in the past week? Nope. Where are your parents at this moment? My mom is getting ready for work and my dad will be up soon to get ready as well. At what age do you think you'll be ready to have children? I don’t want to have kids. How many children would you like? -- When was the last time you couldn't stop laughing? Why? It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed that much. Which of your friends do your parents get along best with? I don’t have any friends. Is there anyone in your friendship group that your parents don't like? -- Can you recall the last time you were extremely disappointed? I’m always disappointed in myself. Who or what helped you to feel better? I still feel that way. You see someone you dislike crying. Do you still feel bad / sorry for them? Yes. If you get a one-word response like "lol", do you still bother to reply? Not usually.  Any ways in which you're very different from the person you love/ like? -- Who was the last person to un-friend you on Facebook? I don't know. Or care. Do you know why he / she decided to un-friend you? -- Are there any food wrappings, boxes, containers etc. in your room? Nope. Have your grandparents ever asked you about your love / sex life? They’d never ask about sex life, thankfully, but my Nana has asked if I was interested in or dating anyone before.

[delirious-comfort]

I promise you I wouldn't go 0 to 100 with you with those kinds of questions. Weirder than that? I'm starting to grow concerned for you if you draw in such.. colorful personalities like that.

You sound like a terrible influence, and I fully support that (because, same).

Oh gosh. I'm sorry you were bullied. Kids/teenagers can be brutal. I always thank my lucky stars that I went to schools with nicer kids. I was later told no one would ever mess with me because I looked like I knew how to fight - which I attribute to my rbf. I obviously don't know you all that well personally, but you seem perfectly delightful to me so it's hard to picture you being a handful.

Howard the Duck! I think I hated it as a kid. My dad really wasn't careful with the movies he rented for me. My sister didn't tell me it was awful, so I never added The Meg to my list.

Hmm, can't relate. I'm not that into muscles, so The Rock isn't my cup of tea, and I do fancy the gents as well (though not as much as the ladies, despite what my dating history would suggest). Watch a movie that prominently features a pretty lady (that kicks ass), and the identity crisis may be averted for a while. Sorry to hear that. Is there a way to put some happiness back in you?

Music. Oh jeez. I could rattle off what I like all day, but I'll refrain. Some of my favorites: St. Vincent, Sevdaliza, Allie X, Lisa Hannigan, Beirut, James Blake, Chet Faker, Leon Bridges. And so on.. What about you?

A little. I'm very over 2020. I shan't miss it, but I'm not an optimist by nature, so I'm not all that thrilled about 2021. Are you?

I would need more details. 1. Would I have books/music? 2. Do I get to leave the cottage? 3. Do I have to bring someone with me? And if so, how small is this cottage? If the answer is yes and tiny, I'm leaning towards no. 150k isn't enough to put myself through that. I need a lot of alone time - though exceptions do apply from time to time. I don't currently like anyone enough to share a space with them for a whole year. Same question goes to you, though. Would you do that for $150,000?

Ooh, we’ve entered scrolling era on the computer! I now need to scroll to see what you wrote! Exciting things. *claps*. Back when I wrote Shadow Haven I used to get a lot of anons because they thought I was super into answering questions like, “How often do you masturbate / Do you masturbate to fic / What is your favorite thing to masturbate to / You made me come twice with this chapter!” Okay, that last one isn’t a question, but definitely have been told that a few times. Although my all time favorite comment I’ve ever gotten was from this young girl who said she almost reached an orgasm for the first time but the fic wasn’t long enough xD Hm, bullying is a thread throughout my life. But yeah some kids can be absolutely brutal. Adults too. But that’s a sob story for another time lol. RBF is one of my favorite things. I’m glad you didn’t experience that in school, though. I don’t know if I’m all that delightful. I think I’m nice? That’s something lol. I’ve never seen Howard the Duck to be honest. The only Duck I know is Donald. Oh want to hear a funny story about a duck? One day when I was young, back in the olden days, in the 90′s... My brother came home with a duck once. He said it was injured and he put it in the shed. I do think it really was injured but I have no idea what was wrong with it. We had this iron tub in the shed that we put water in and within a couple of days he had shat all over the shed. But we kept him for quite some time I think, although I was young so it was probably like two weeks that felt like two years. Anyway, the duck got better. We named him Donald and then we put him back out in the pond near our house where he came from. You’d think that’s where the story ends. But tis not. So one day not too long after we released him back into the pond... They started to drain the pond because, well actually I don’t know why. My brother said it was because there was one of those electric eels that they needed to get out of the pond, which made us all scared to swim in and I’m just now realizing he probably lied about that. Dick. Anyway, big digging machine came, and I went to walk the dog and on top of the claw of the digging machine was a dead duck. Our dead duck. Which I could see from far away. Uhm. Okay so maybe it wasn’t our duck. But as a child I was fucking convinced it was. I sobbed and told my mom he had been killed. And she was just like, “Well, he had a good time with us, didn’t he!’ I was and perhaps am at times a bit... how shall I put this gently... over dramatic. Sensitive. A drama queen. I freely admit it. I don’t actually know a lot of those artists but I’m listening to Sevdaliza’s Human and uhm. I bet it’s a on a lot of x-rated playlists. Yeah I’m with you on the 2020/2021 feeling. I don’t even want to say it can only get better from here on out because was I ever wrong before!  This song is a bop. I like it. Goes straight on my current obsessions playlist. Okay, cottage details. I asked because it’s always one of those Facebook posts I see, but here’s some details.  Fuck. Details. Okay. I got this. Yes, you can bring books. And movies. And there’s a TV and a radio and a computer. Just no internet. I don’t know why. But there’s not. FB rules. Not mine. I’d need internet.  I’m suddenly getting a one-shot through into my thick skull. As if I am gonna write it. Ha.  You can leave the cottage whenever you want. You’re free to roam. Not a prisoner. Hm, it’s not so small that you can’t live comfortable in it, lets say at least two bedrooms, although my inner muse wants to scream, “And there was only one bed,” so hard. So original.  I suppose you don’t have to bring someone.  I think I could do it but I don’t know how beneficial it would be to my mental health. I already live alone, I have a tiny studio, and I hardly ever leave due to my health issues I’ve had this year. Although, on Fridays I get to go outside with my physical therapist and I am very much looking forward to that. Internet is very much my whole world right now. So I think if it would be taken away I would either thrive, or nose dive.  If I had to share the space with someone, I don’t know if I could do it. Depends on who it is, I suppose. Like, I love my mom to death, but her and I would kill each other within a week probably.  God this is a lot of blabbing. Oop.  Also I just saw the terrible influence thing. Yes, yes I am. I used to make my niece do tiktok’s to prank my brother but one day he got super mad. But too be fair I did have her pretend she stapled her fingers together with a staple gun. So you know. I had it coming.  You’d think all this typing would warm up my fingers, but my fingers are ice cold. Okay, here’s a question. What is your dream holiday destination? 

[hybbat]

Do you actually enjoy any games?

Yes, many? I don't really know what tone this is supposed to be in so I'm going to interpret this the nicer way, but I've played and adore video games since I was 3 years old playing with my mum and dad. I'm not very good at lot of them but that's partly why I usually prefer single player games where it doesnt matter as much and I can go at my own pace.

If you're just curious what games in particular I enjoy then last night I thoroughly enjoyed genshin impact's new update, and while I haven't been playing it much in the last few weeks, I love final fantasy XIV. I also love almost all pokemon games right up to SuMo and most story of seasons games. I've been playing the Pokemon online TCG lately in particular due to winding up with several booster packs a few weeks ago.

For PS my favourite game series are spyro and digimon, and for console nintendo I love rayman legends, mario kart especially double dash and 8, all gamecube harvest moons, and pokemon channel. I like a lot of side okemon games like the stadium series also. Wii didn't have many games I enjoyed on their own but it was fun to play videogames with my grandma and keep her active somewhat by playing party games. For the computer I like spore, catz 5, minecraft, the sims franchise, binding of isaac, my time at portia, civ city rome, and overcooked. I don't play a lot of mobile games but I enjoyed magikarp jump, pokemon go, cheeky chooks, and mahjong.

I would say in no particular order my top 5 favourite games are Pokemon RSE or BW, Grand Theft Auto 5, The Last of Us, Age of Empires III, and Zoo Tycoon 2.

The pokemon franchise is by far my favourite games if it isn't obvious from the above lists, it's almost always the reason I buy my consoles. I got a N64 after the gamecube came out because it had stadium 2 even though now I would say gamecube was my favourite console of all time. I also remember my dad getting mad at me for changing my mind on the gameboy advance after RS came out because he rented it for me to see if I wanted it for christmas and I decided I didn't care about it until then. The only reason I even currently own a switch was to play pokemon games even though I ended up hating both of them. I think on my main 3DS alone I've sunk around 2500 hours into pokemon games.

There are games in the past I played a lot despite not enjoying myself such as LOL and siege but even those I did enjoy something about them to where I miss them since I decided to stop playing games that upset me. Primarily their issue is their communities, the games themselves are fun.

[ellaintrigue]

I need my peace.

I've struggled with PMS on and off for years, and let me tell you, PMS mixed with PTSD is so rough. I've heard of women getting murderous with that type of shit but I can still rationalize, fortunately. The first day of it I'm mad, the second day I'm emotional, the next day mad, etc., and it lasts about 5 days until I bleed.

My mother tells me to not discuss health issues in blogs or when I talk to men. She tells me to be less emotional, and not cry, especially in front of people. I've never wanted to cry in front of people, and in fact, I barely cry at all, but during PMS + high levels of stress it does happen. And sometimes I just cry and let it out and feel better. When my grandmother lay dying in hospice I got choked up and my mom turned to me and snapped, "DON'T START THAT" and I felt so trapped and miserable. My grandmother was doped up with her eyes rolling up in her head and gasping breaths from her heart failing and it was very hard to watch. And I may be a coward but I honestly would have felt better if I could have just cried a little. Not sobs but just some tears. After I left that day I bawled my ass off in my Oldsmobile. She'd never tell me to stop.

I hate censorship. I hate people saying racist things, gay-bashing, and calling women bitches and hoes, but when it comes to raw emotion and expression, where is the harm? Am I hurting someone that reads this, in admitting that I cry? In admitting I have period problems? In showing my body? I'm just... a human. A messy, scarred up, bubbly, angry, happy, sad, fucked up human. I can't write about happy beautiful things every day because that's not realistic and I don't want to.

Yesterday was eventful and also full of emotion, but not a negative day. I stayed up until 10 PM which is rare for me, and didn't eat. I last ate at 1 PM and woke up this morning starved and weak.

I definitely have some PMS still, and, any day, I want to lay in bed for 15 minutes after I wake up, either with my eyes closed or while listening to some music. I seriously need that little pause before I start my day, but some days IT IS. SO. HARD. TO GET.

I woke up shortly after 5:30 this morning, stretched, and did some thinking over the events of yesterday. I was in a good mood. Then I hear FaceBook messenger go off twice. Okay, whatever. I should turn the notifications off for the night but it's just too much to remember and fuck with somehow. I wish people would just not message me between 9 PM and 7 AM lol. But I do enjoy talking to my cousin, and let her know I had to go soon because I hadn't eaten in 16 hours.

Then the cats start slamming at my bedroom door, my dad texts me, my friend Trent dings messenger, and I'm just like, holy shit. Then my cousin mentions this gentleman she keeps saying I should talk to. I said if he wants to say hi, he can. She initially marketed it as the guy worked a lot and needed friends. You know, whatever. She first brought it up two months ago, then brought it up again today.

I'm not judging, not trying to complain about my cousin trying to be nice to me, but I talk to a loooottt of people. If someone wants to say hi to me, they can, but regardless of whether this guy wanted a friend or someone to date, I'm going to be more focused on people my own age. I know so many people over 40 that I really just want people under that and he appeared to be 50. For a while I had trouble finding friends so I participated in a social site outside of FaceBook and now talk to whoever from wherever. I also find men to talk to sometimes, to see if there's a dateable connection, but that isn't something I put much pressure on at this time.

I was involved with someone amazing mid-pandemic and am capable of getting men, it's just not something I'm going to write about or tell everyone. I think people have the misconception that because I'm a survivor of violence and a feminist that I have trouble dating but that's more my own pickiness. When I whine about dating scene things I'm just blurbing and blowing off steam, not exuding desperation. It would be lame to blog about who I'm actually talking to at the moment and spoil things. I do not need people making connections for me. 🤷‍♀️

I finally excuse myself from my talk with her, close off my computer, and leave my phone upstairs to do chores. Put my two male cats in their kennel while I clean their box, clean the old cat's box, and she whirls around my legs. She's become increasingly manic after developing a skin allergy to dry cat food. She's fine now physically but just constantly underfoot, trying to bite me all the time and generally being annoying as fuck. She has always had severe behavioral issues but this takes the cake. She wants the dry food so I try to give her a little bit throughout the week but yesterday she just woofed it down, puked it up then begged for more. That night she tried to bite my legs repeatedly. This morning she didn't want the vet-recommended wet food and tried to trip me and bite me the whole time I was trying to do chores.

I hurt my left foot so I'm having trouble moving it and I have to juggle that to avoid her, then I go outside and the black cat walks in front of me and stops and tries to sit on my feet over and over. Oh my God, I love all of them but I honestly don't know how people have kids and shit, they drive me fucking crazy. My ex's dog even drove me crazy, I hate noise in the morning, being tripped in the morning, my phone going off in the morning, people in the morning. It all drives me batshit crazy.

This is my own making since I have 4 cats because I had so many pets with my ex, and as I've mentioned before, I won't have more than 2 animals at a time after these eventually age and pass over the rainbow bridge. Anyway, this is my blurb for the week. I haven't had time to blog photos or do anything I want to do in days, it's all been work, family drama, and tons else.

Maybe one day I'll have a nice morning without noise, bullshit, and two-legged and four-legged creatures getting on my fucking nerves. Lol!

[hamonsurveysoverdrive]

Abomination

Have you ever hugged someone for over a minute? I mean, maybe?

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? I don’t know.

Would you take the 3 minute beatdown to be in a gang? No thankssss. Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? Absolutely not.

Has the last person you texted ever been mad at you before? Justin has been mad at me multiple times lol.

Have you ever searched for your house on Google Earth? Yes.

How old do you look? Early to mid-20s.

Do you like movie nights? Always.

Is there a trampoline in your backyard? I don’t even have a backyard.

Does the thought of having children scare you? I already have two, so yes, the thought of having more sounds like a nightmare.

Are you nice to everyone? No.

Would you rather date someone older than you or younger? Justin is younger than me.

What will you be doing in the next 2 hours?

Probably driving home.

Who did you talk to on the phone last? Actual talking? I think the kids’ dad.

Does it make you uncomfortable when you receive a compliment? Sometimes.

When you are home alone at night and hear strange noises, are you afraid someone is going to break in? Yes.

Do you wake up cranky? Sometimes.

What is on your wrists right now? A bracelet that says “Redrum” on it.

Are you a beach, country, or city person? City.

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? Yes.

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? No.

Do you like someone? My boyfriend.

Are you happier now or three months ago? Now.

What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? Nothing great has really happened.

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? I was 19 when I had my first kid, 22 with my second.

Are you waiting for something? Sure.

If you could change your eye color would you? Maybe to grey.

What was the weather like today? It sunny and nice.

Do you think you’ll be married in ten years? I hope not.

Does your ex still love/like you? Probably.

Are you stubborn? Oh yeah.

Do you tend to hold a grudge? Yes.

Where were you at 9am this morning? In bed.

How has the week been? It went by so fast!

Did you go out or stay in last night? I went to Justin’s house, so I’m not sure if that’s considered going out or staying in lol.

Something you do a lot? Worry.

How many states have you lived in? One.

Can you commit to one person? Yes.

Who was the last person to hold your hand? Justin, or one of my kids.

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? Way too many. Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in 10 years? Yes.

What do you miss most about your ex? Nothing.

Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? Yes.

What’s a fact about the last person you kissed? He’s an only child.

Something you really want right now? A million dollars.

How long have you liked the person you like? For about 3-4 years.

Does any part of your body hurt right now? My shoulders and neck, a little.

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? I assume not, since it was just me and him in his garage.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone? Now.

Are you happy with the way things are going? Yes.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? Yes.

What plans do you have for tomorrow? Nothing in particular, I think.

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn’t? Nope.

Have you ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? Yes.

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? Yes.

Do you and your last ex hate each other? Nah.

When was the last time you were sick? Like a year ago.

Are you one of those people who are always cold? Not really.

Do you tend to waste a lot of money? Yes.

Have you ever regretted kissing someone? No.

When was the last time you got a haircut? In July.

Did you sing at all today? Yeah.

Would you rather be able to control the weather or control traffic? Weather.

Do you own any articles of clothing with skulls on it? Yes.

Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? Typing.

If you won a trip to a nude beach would you go or give the trip away? I probably wouldn’t go.

In your opinion which is the stronger emotion: love or hate? Love.

Tongue piercings - cute or trashy? Neither?

When it comes to jeans: skinny, flared or boot cut? Skinny.

Would you rather be a star ballerina or a star break dancer? No thanks.

When it comes to Baseball would you rather be on the field or in the stands? The stands.

I’ve got to know, who do you prefer: Mario or Luigi? Mario.

Have you ever changed clothes in a public area (not a dressing room)? Yes.

How many months apart is your birthday from your best friends? Kelsi’s birthday is six days before mine, Krystle’s is 6 months before, Needles is 5 months before, Carly’s is 10 months before.

Yes or no: Techno music? Nah.

Yes or no: pigtails? Nah.

They say diamonds are a girls best friend; what do you say? I think that’s stupid.

Has anybody ever told somebody one of your secrets? Yes.

Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? Yepp.

If you were famous do you think you could handle the popularity? Probably not.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a letter P? My high school boyfriend’s name was Phillip.

Did you talk to one of your best friends today? What did you talk about? I talked to Justin, Krystle, and Carly.

Do you get on better with funny or serious people? Funny.

Do you have mood swings around the time of the month? Yes.

Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Yes. Most of my friends are his friends too.

What if you saw your best friend holding hands with your ex? I’d be very, very confused.

Your last relationship, who dumped who? I ended it.

How old were you when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend? 13.

Is your hometown nice? Some parts.

What if you got stuck in a lift with the last person who Facebook messaged you? Ugh, I’d rather not.

When/where did your last hug take place? Earlier today, at my mom’s house.

Do you consider yourself mature enough to make your own decisions? I’m 31...

Have your parents ever told you about their love lives, and any previous relationships they had before they met? Yes.

You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? Justin.

Do you and your friends have any inside jokes? Sure.

Do you think someone has feelings for you? Are these feelings returned? I know my boyfriend does, and obviously they’re returned.

What if the last person you texted were to ask you out? Well, he’s already my boyfriend, so.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Explain. No, that’s dumb.

Would you prefer to be somewhere else right now? If so, where? And why would you prefer to be there? Yes, like, in a room surrounded by millions of dollars, where it’s free for the taking?

When you listen to music, do you ever find that the songs affect your moods and change how you feel? Sure.

Can you remember what you dreamt about last night? No.

What’s one thing about today that you didn’t like? Feeling nauseated.

Who is the last person that you said i love you to, besides family members? Probably Justin.

Are you mad at anyone right now? Nope.

Is there one thing all of your ex’s had in common? Sarcastic assholes who can carry a good conversation. And they all have daddy issues.

What’s a compliment you receive often? My eyes, my lips, or my hair.

Have you ever had a friend that got a bf/gf, and then completely ignored you? Yepp.

Would you ever go back to any of your past relationships? No.

Who was the last person to comfort you when you were upset or crying? Probably Justin. Do you prefer to text or talk on the phone? Text.

Do you know anyone that’s gotten an abortion before? Yes.

Do you think you could forgive someone for cheating on you? Not anymore.

Have you ever been arrested? Yes.

Who’s the last person that gave you roses? Justin.

Do you still talk to the first person you kissed? No. What if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? NO THANKS.

Do you have a picture of you kissing someone? Yes.

Who was the last person to comment one of your pictures? Rey

Have you learned from your past mistakes?

Am I supposed to list everything I’ve ever learned for every mistake I’ve ever made, or...?

Who’s the last guy you texted? Justin... jesus this whole survey is becoming about him.

What about the last girl? Krystle & Kelsi in a group text.

Who was the last person to make you cry? Myself.

Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? Sure.

What is one quality that you really appreciate in a person? Honesty.

When was your first real relationship? Well, I don’t really count high school relationships as real relationships, so I guess when I was 20.

Have you ever cried over an ex? Yes.

Do you ever think about your ex and cry? Not anymore.

Is there anyone in your life who you won’t ever want to lose? Of course?? Have you ever snuck out of your house? Not really, no.

Have you ever snuck someone into your house? Nope.

Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yes.

How many people have you kissed? Way too many to try and count.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done on a dare? Idk

Have you ever cussed someone out? Yes.

Have you ever cheated on someone? Yes.

Have you ever had a friend-with-benefits? Yes. Have you ever spread a nasty rumor about someone? Not intentionally.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Supposedly.

Have you ever been physically abused? Yes.

What’s something you really regret saying to someone? Nothing.

Is there something really bad that you’ve done, that only YOU know about? I don’t think so.

Does it take a lot to make you feel guilty? No.

Have you ever broken a really important promise? Probably.

Have you ever gone out with a best friend’s ex? Yes.

Have you ever made out with someone who was just a friend? Yes.

Have you ever cheated on a test? No, but I’ve helped others cheat.

Have you ever told someone’s deep, dark secret? No.

Do you ever lie to make yourself sound better? Not really.

Have you ever made up a false rumor to get back at someone? No.

Have you ever gotten in a fist fight? No.

Have you ever purposely hurt yourself? Yes.

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone? Yes. Got sent to an alternative school because of it lol

Have you ever caused someone major embarrassment? Not major, no.

Have you ever pushed someone into a pool? Yes.

Have you ever got in a fight with someone and never made up? Yes.

Have you ever farted and blamed it on someone else? Yes lol

Have you ever copied someone else’s homework? Yes.

Have you ever skipped school to do something more fun? Yes.

Have you ever skipped school to get out of a test? No.

Have you ever kissed someone the same day you met them? Yes.

What’s under your bed? The banisters that are supposed to go on my bed, the ceiling fan is in the way.

What’s on that way top shelf or in the very far back of your closet? Games.

Do you have a super-secret hiding place and what’s in it? No.

Have you done something recently you hope no one finds out about? Nope.

What is your last thought before you fall asleep? It varies.

Have you ever you shop lifted? Yes, in my angsty youth.

[szopenhauer]

If money was no object, would you change your wardrobe? I would add to my wardrobe more than change

How do you/did you get to school? walk, then by bus

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? yep

Is the idea of having a secret admirer creepy or romantic? creepy

What was the last song you sung out loud? https://youtu.be/wycjnCCgUes

Were you excited to learn to drive, or scared? worried that I’ll waste my money

When was the last time you felt incredibly tired? today

In your opinion, who doesn’t deserve to be famous? many people

Was it hard for you to get up this morning? not really

When was the last time you colored with crayons or colored pencils? few months ago

Do you feel comfortable talking about your disorders, if you have them? depends

Where did you go on your last field trip? not sure which was last

Do you think you make a good first impression? no

Do other people’s first impressions stick with you? might

Have you ever had to give up on someone? sure

Would you rather break up with someone, or them break up with you? them break up with me (not my decision) but usually it’s the other way around

Do you think it’s okay to like a cover more than an original? umm...

Are you calm in emergency situations? depends

Who are you most attached to? my dad

What do you depend on other people for? money mostly :(

What goes through your mind when someone breaks up with you? depends

Do you match your shoes with your outfit? sometimes, it’s not that I have enough shoes to do that lol

Do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse? female 

What was the last thing you bragged about? not sure what was last

What’s the ugliest thing on your wall? umm...

Who’s your favorite philosopher? Schopenhauer because of all the memes

Do you think Freud was out of his mind? well I prefer Jung

Einstein? he was cool

Who’s your favorite painter/artist? I like many 

What day is it? Friday

Are you wearing anything blue?  nah

Do you know anyone named Graham? just bread :P

Are you sitting next to anyone? not currently

Do you dislike the last person you Facebook messaged? nope

Who’s the quietest of all your friends? K. always was 

Are you home alone right now? If so, where are the people you live with? my mom’s home, my dad is at work

Are you a chocoholic? noooo

Is there a song that reminds you of the person you love/like? Do you listen to that song often? one of them is t.a.t.u. - All the things she said

Do you listen to music while you fill out surveys? sometimes

In the past week, what song have you listened to the most often? not sure

While playing video games, do you prefer being first or second player? second 

How many people do you depend on? not many

How many people do you think depend on you? they could live without me

What is the worst color combination? brown and black?

Have you ever injured yourself walking around in the dark? yeah

What’s so scary about clowns, anyway? nothing to me and it’s annoying that they’re part of so many horrors

When was the last time you acted like someone you’re not? sigh...

How many hats do you own/wear? shitload

Do you ever receive comments on your weight? ppl are jealous of my weight so basically my illness :(

Is there anything that you do just to make other people happy? of course

What was the last thing that you wrote down [with a pen/pencil]? not sure what was last

Has anyone told you that you have a nice smile? my gf only

Are you uncomfortable with being photographed? yup

Do you like playing tic-tac-toe? I always win What about hangman? I played it couple of times Are you dangerously in love with someone? woah 

Are you cute or sexy? cute Is English your 1st language? it’s not Did you ever perform in front of your entire school? elementary - more than once Did your older sibling ever tell you freaky stories that you believed? one time she told me that school was flooded and there were fish and frogs and then I said that to my mom and she called me a liar and got mad even tho I explained to her it was my sister’s idea :(  Are you single and proud? you can be single and proud as well as be happy in a relationship too, I am in one now  Are you more happy when you’re with people or alone? 90% of time alone What do you think about guys shaving their legs? that’s their life Do you wear lipstick? nah Name something you lost or gave away that can never be replaced. I don’t wanna talk about it

What music album would be used for a movie about your life? soundtrack to my life would have to be a mix of songs from different bands/vocalists

Who was your first crush and what made them special? she was just adorable with her clumsiness and her perfect body and that face and voice and she was just a pretty cool friend to me and I wanted to take care of her so badly, she was the very first girl I ever had a crush on irl if not in general but she was hetero and she changed a lot (not in a good way in my opinion) Write about your first kiss. Was it everything you wished or hoped it would be? I... I never imagined my first kiss before it happened?...

Write about something you now know that you wish you knew earlier in life. How could this knowledge have helped you? blergh

Name one thing you feel brings out the good in people. there’s no such thing, it’s all about the person  If you invented a device that could fix one problem you are facing right now, would you use it? What problem would you like to solve? absolutely, my health issues Name something you found; what was it and where did you find it? I’ve found shitload of stuff but one thing was the most odd and that’s a taxidermy ferret shawl someone left on a bus stop - at first we thought with dad it must be alive but we came closer and realized someone lost their piece of cloth and we took it  Describe the longest amount of time you have ever been away from home. almost a month, I was in hospital Name a celebrity or famous person you wish would take you out on a date. - Have you ever seen a ghost? it seems, it was not just white but a little bluish, no legs and weird face - shaped like in a clay, mostly transparent, slightly glowing, it was in open doors of my room, I woke up with a weird feeling that someone’s watching me and I got really scared so I hidden under a blanket and didn’t look there again until morning, I was trying to convince myself it’s just a shirt that was hanged in the hall but mom said there wasn’t anything like that there at night, now I wish I could see that again hoping I would try to do something more brave about it, I kinda worry I was rude towards them whoever it was 

*btw my grandma said that after death some chemicals leave the body and fly like a fog through the cemetery if casket and grave aren’t blocking it too much Describe your note-taking style and habits. everywhere and usually not in line, can be even upside down, just random, different size, clue words etc. Do you believe that we are all here for a reason? What might the reason be? suffering to deserve heaven? Have you ever done something just to feel the danger, or to feel alive? I hurt myself today To see if I still feel I focus on the pain The only thing that's real What are all your thoughts on god? overthinking... What did you learn today?  for example - that explaining things to people make me realize more than just thinking about something What 5 traits do people first notice when they meet you for the first time? ask them Have you ever carved your name or initials into a tree or stone? poor tree :( In what ways have you traveled? car, bus, train, bike, even a little bit by ship What historical events happened the year you were born? nothing interesting

Do you watch really old tv shows or movies from the 1970’s or earlier? sure

What would you do if you saw a complete stranger dealing drugs in public? nothing If you don’t have to be up by a certain time, do you like to sleep in as late as possible? no longer than 11 am What are you wearing at the moment? Is it for any particular reason? pajama because it’s past midnight and I should be asleep but I have to finally finish this survey then dry my hair and drink some water first Are either one of your parents retired?  my mom is and my dad will be soon Do you buy a lot of DVD’s, or do you tend to just watch everything online for free? watch online, I have no money for buying movies that I’ll watch less than 3 times Does everyone in your household own their own computer? nope

Are you a good gift giver? I try my best and been told that I am despite not being rich 

Do you know what XOXO stands for? hugs and kisses

What’s the first person who comes to your mind when you hear the word blue? me

Have you seen any of the Harry Potter movies? first ones

Do you like your significate others siblings? I don’t know her brother

Have you ever recieved a singing birthday card? omg I loved those and I wish I got one :(

Do you remember who your kindergarten/pre-school teacher was? I liked her so much I’ve been sending her cards on holidays years after

Were you ever a girl scout or a boy scout? never

Do you own anything made of lace? hmm...

How many people do you share a name with? I don’t know anyone with my name

Imagine your dream home, does it have a fence around it? if it’s not an apartment then of course it does, highest possible and thick as I don’t want to see or be seen by my neighbors

Do you own any yellow shoes? yep

Can you type fast? very

In school were you bullied? I was

Are you sarcastic? yeah

Do you read the newspaper? nah

If you died today where do you think you’d go? hell :(

Have you ever been to therapy? few times, didn’t help

Do you use online dating? did

Did you miss alot of school? I was sick often

What was the last thing you got falsely accused of? not sure what was last

What was the last thing you ordered online? shirt, I’m waiting for the package now

Have you ever been kicked out of a store? no :o

Do you feel like you accomplished anything today? hmm...

What is/was your favorite teen magazine? trzynastka or however this shit was called

Would other people describe you as creative? I guess

What color are your slippers? grey and white

Are you haunted by memories of stupid things you’ve said and done? constantly

Did you like high school or college better? didn’t go to college

Who was your favorite Olsen twin? I didn’t have a favorite 

Do you ever listen to Celtic music? used to, with John

Do you know a lot of rich and spoiled and selfish people? had classmates like this and neighbors too

Do you enjoy mornings? rarely, not really

Have you ever feared going to jail or thought about what it would be like? thought

Did you know that the zodiac signs (the regular ones) are Greek? ok

Have you ever learned about Greek mythology in school? didn’t like it

Do you stay up late? as you can see

what do you hear right now? nothing

what is one thing in your life you feel truly guilty for? personal

have you ever been slapped in the face? I’ve been slapped without any reason, I was bullied

how about punched? hit with a ball only and my head was hit with a bottle too once

have you ever come up with a memorable quote yourself? I’ve been quoted 

what do you think about masturbation? personal

What color did you first ever dye your hair?: either red or black

What’s the color of the bath towel you use most often?: green

Ever eaten a piece of dog or cat food out of curiosity?: ewww, nooo

Can you name one song by Prince?: Purple rain for example

Would you rather paint or make pottery?: paint

Are you currently taking this survey before or after 9pm?: after, I started over 5 hours ago...

Is the sun shining bright outside right now?: it’s the middle of the night!

Would you rather watch a horror movie or a romantic comedy?: romantic comedy ^^”

[sparrow-ink]

covid diaries aka memoirs of the plague

trying to keep my thoughts organized and coherent has been a bitch recently, so i’m going to try to put them down more or less in order here and see where we end up. this is going to be heavy on personal covid content and might get long, so please skip if either distresses you.

so last tues, the uh... 24th i guess, i started feeling ill. mostly like allergies plus a bad headache. i had a feeling i was getting sick but didn’t want to alarm my spouse or housemate/best friend, so stuck with ‘could very well be allergies and dehydration.’ also it very well could have been, and it was very reassuring for us all to tell each other that. my company had already moved the majority of employees to work-from-home, including me, so i already wasn’t going to come into contact with anyone outside my home.

symptoms got worse over the next few days, congestion, headache, feeling feverish, cough started up. we didn’t own a thermometer, and my spouse and housemate tried every wal-mart, wal-greens, target, etc to find one. housemate said at one place they laughed at her when she asked if they had any. i tried ordering one on amazon with no luck. either they were $90+, out of stock, or not shipping until may. i settled on ordering on for shipment in may. the seller messaged me the next day and said they couldn’t fulfill the order and asked to cancel it.

from our last costco trip we had already (unintentionally) gotten stocked up on toilet paper, snacks, and some dry goods. at some point before I got sick, spouse and I bought a bag of rice and bag of potatoes, because I intermittently try to do mealprepping and seemed being stuck at home would be a good time to try again, what with national and state-wide states of emergency being declared. also seemed good to have them in supply. and we were still stocked up on cold and flu medecine from when i got bronchitis mid-dec to mid-jan. so we were/are pretty well-stocked on essentials? that was reassuring, as i was obviously, noticeably sick by last friday.

i was hoping i would get better over the weekend but i did not. still couldn’t find a thermometer anywhere. governor had issued the state-wide stay-at-home order on uh...thurs? weds? but already being sick, and already working from home, and not going out, it didn’t really affect me much?

i feel like i should mention at this point that since the state of emergency was declared and we started to transition to working from home, i’d been trying to ration my social media (tumblr/twitter/insta) time for my sanity. but also not having information makes me feel helpless, so i had the CDC covid page up and checked every day. and then the colorado state covid page too. seeing the numbers of confirmed cases double, and triple, from week to week was... hm.

also one of my younger siblings moved from colorado to arizona at the start of march, and presumably lost their phone because i haven’t heard from them since despite poking. that hasn’t been concerning during a global pandemic. not at all. they’re probably not dead. i mean, you’d think a bitch could call their older sibling to let them know they’re not dead, but whatever. i’m sure they’re fine. probably. anyway.

where was i. so by the weekend i was Not Feeling Well At All Actually. my cough had become “scary.” my housemate did all the dishes in the kitchen despite not being responsible for most of them. i felt, and sounded, disgusting.

i checked the covid testing requirements again, and basically found that in colorado you had to be dying to be tested for covid. cool.

monday rolled around, still not better. i ended up having work computer issues (their end, not mine) where i basically ended up laying on the couch in my office while IT did IT things. a blessing. i slogged through the rest of the day. just felt like i wasn’t tracking well, couldn’t focus on shit. that evening while watching shows with husbeast & housemate, i had a truly uncontrollable coughing spasm/fit that seemed to just go on. could barely talk without coughing. i coughed all night. i basically didn’t sleep.

tuesday morning i woke up, and started coughing again. i could hear a crackle echo up my throat when i breathed if i was in the right position. i sat up to try and get my breath. i think it was like 6 am. spouse creature (already awake from my coughing) gently rubbed my back. i started crying. i just wanted to sleep, and i couldn’t sleep, and i couldn’t stop coughing, and i felt like i could barely breathe, and things just hurt, and i couldn’t think straight. i felt so... defeated. i think it freaked out the spouse creature. i usually only cry during children’s movies.

i took the day off of work. i hadn’t taken a day yet because i was already working from home, and it was the end of the month which is the busiest for my team, and my boss had said last week that if i felt i could work, they needed me. by tuesday morning i was out of energy and also fucks. i got in the queue for a teladoc appointment. per the CDC and colorado covid websites, telehealth visits are to be the first option in order to help prevent the spread, etc. also i would have done teladoc anyway bc i don’t have a PCP.

it took a few hours to get connected with a doctor. i think i started coughing while he did his intro thing. he basically said, well i think i know what you’re calling about, but why don’t you tell me. i told him. and coughed some more. he said my symptoms are consistent with covid, and in a perfect world they’d be able to get me in for rapid testing, but they couldn’t. that basically people are only getting tested at this point who are getting admitted to the hospital. some people were able to access testing through their PCPs but even that was drying up. he advised me to self-isolate (already on it lol) and for my household to self-quarantine for at least two weeks from when i started showing symptoms. and i could un-self-isolate once the majority of my symptoms calmed down AND when i didn’t have a fever for three days straight with no meds. he prescribed me an inhaler and a cough suppressant pill, though he said the cough suppressant might not do much since it didn’t seem to be working for anyone else with similar.

husbeast had run out to get some more supplies by the time i got on the vidcall with the doc, mostly liquids and electrolytes. he went back out once i gave him the rundown, to fill my prescription and get me the good costco chicken soup once they were open. he also, miracle of miracles, managed to find and buy a temporal thermometer at costco for like $45 i think. a true champion. my temp seemed to be fine in the afternoon, a touch above normal but fine. i’m not actually sure what my personal base temperature is. i should also say that i’d been consistently taking dayquil and sudafed since the previous weds.

that evening my temp started to go up. and up. or at least i think it was tuesday night. maybe it was weds? freaked out spouse, i got up to 102 F even with sudafed and additional acetaminophen. i basically had a fever from tues through this morning (friday), while taking pills like clockwork. always seemed to get worse in the afternoon/evening and be better in the morning. today at least it’s stayed below 100F, even mostly below 99F.

the cough and difficulty breathing has been the worst part. i have delicate baby lungs to begin with, and i have allergies and a history of childhood asthma. so i’m already paranoid about my breathing even with a normal cold. but to hear that i would have to immediately proceed to emergency services should my symptoms progress to: can only get a few words out, can’t stand up or walk across the room, can’t maintain conciousness, to hear that was... something. because then it’s basically like, okay, if I get pneumonia and my lungs are filling up, then i can go see a doctor in person. cool. and i know it says on the websites that there’s no approved treatment for coronavirus, that treatment for less severe cases will be the same at home as it would be in person, but shit. i woke up so many times last night feeling like i was fighting for air, waking up because i was coughing so hard i had to sit up all the way to breathe, and i kept thinking, what if i just stop breathing in my sleep? not like i would notice, right?

it’s been scary. i’ve been trying not to freak out my people with more crying and whatnot, but i’ve already got anxiety and this shit aint helping. i’m trying to stay relatively calm and not make them deal with me losing my shit on top of already taking care of me and bringing me soup and water and pills and asking what they can do for me. i’m tired of being sick. i want a new pair of lungs. i want to not feel like i’ve been hit by a truck. my ribs hurt from coughing so much. my chest hurts. my whole body aches. the headache keeps coming and going. i can’t stop fucking coughing. i don’t want to die, i just want to maybe go into a coma and wake up when this is all over. once the line of dump trucks has stopped running me over.

and i’m just so mad at the lack of preparedness in the US. i’m so pissed that i can’t even get tested, i can’t know for sure what the fuck is happening to me. i’m so mad that the cheeto is president during this. i hate this fucking timeline. i hate that we don’t even have clear numbers on cases because of mismanagement. i hate that i keep feeling like i’m about to throw up because i’m coughing so fucking hard. real fucking reassuring to know that the symptoms i’ve been told to watch for, to know that i need to go to the hospital, are the same ones that constitute an emergency and would mean that i would basically have to be rushed there. wearing a facemask if we can find one.

ugh. the other worst part is that i haven’t even been really coherent enough to write. and i’ve only been able to settle on a few things to read and watch. being sick makes me picky and like, impossible to please. so i’m spoiled for choice with 4+ streaming services, but nothing sounds good. and my people are working from home, but they’re still working. they can’t spend all their time with me. i’m bored, and everything is garbage, and there are only so many times i can rewatch the princess bride. i have been napping quite a lot, but even that doesn’t take all day.

maybe i’ll write some crackfic. then it doesn’t have to be coherent. and it would be in the spirit of covid to write some real absurd shit i think.

anyway. i might delete this later. i feel better for getting events put down and venting.  also i apologize, i have no idea how to do a readmore cut on tumblr anymore.

[noblechaton]

okay so this is a post I’ve wanted to make for a lil while now but I’ve been kinda....not huge on talking about what’s been going on with me health-wise bc it’s been so stressful (and writing all of this on mobile would suck lol) but anyway I feel like explaining why I haven’t been writing or even really posting too much

also a lil warning here but it gets a bit gross due to what’s going on lately so uh be careful near the end of this if ur squeamish (like me) and also this is very long bc it sorta recounts the last 6-7 months so it might be a bit messy looking

alright so. on october 28th after getting poor, fragmented amounts of sleep and having nothing to eat besides fast food bc it’s all my family got (mcdonalds in the morning and chinese food for dinner) I had this awful scary pain in my chest (upper left side, at that) and it worried me real bad but I pushed thru for a few days bc i thought maybe it’d clear itself up and stuff

but it didn’t and so after maybe a week or so with it I told my parents and we first went to my aunt’s urgent care place for an EKG (which was normal) but we were soon set up for a doctor’s appointment (my first in like....at least 5 years. probs more tbh) and he examined me but wasn’t able to figure anything out so he set up some further tests at a cardiologist and those came and went (an echocardiogram and a stress test along with some more EKGs) and all of them went well so we still had no idea what the issue is/was but I was put on a lot of medications to try and see if anything helped (plus I got put on antidepressants which was nice for a bit but they caused problems physically so I’ve stopped taking them)

by like mid febuary I think?? (and after totally reorganizing my diet for a few months to include healthier stuff and exercise) the issue started to fade and for a minute I thought it’d worked itself out

but then like two weeks before march started my wrists and ankles started hurting bad enough to cause my hands and feet to twitch and shake which terrified me but I didn’t say anything (mostly bc my family, namely my mom, is/was getting fed up with my medical stuff and I didn’t wanna make her more mad lol) however it stopped a lil before march really started

but then my head started pounding nonstop and it hurt super bad for 5 weeks (urgent care did nothing bc like. they just can’t do anything for that) and near the end of it I went and got an MRI done which came back good, just like the cardio stuff did earlier (tho it pointed out a minor sinus infection which I think is what caused/causes it??)

then near the end of march (and after taking appropriate OTC stuff for sinus infections) it sorta lessened and has since eased up despite some flare ups here and there which might be caused by....whatever’s going on now, which brings me to....

two or so days before the MRI I ended up vomiting up some food which was weird bc I don’t really vomit and then it happened the next day too and I got worried but at first I thought it was food poisoning since my diet had kinda shifted back to bad habits due to the head pains but then the day of the MRI and the day or two after that the puking stopped only to then started back up again

now something I realized after a while was that I wasn’t like actually puking like normal puke but instead it looked like it was just my food (not to be too gross but I could/can see actual pieces of food as they would have looked in my mouth sometimes) which led me to (sort of) figuring out that what I’ve been doing is actually regurgitating for some reason (everything from typical food finely chewed to apples to certain drinks like apple juice and even water sometimes to straight up mucus that runs down my throat/gets sniffled) and my throat has felt weird, like knotted up?? tight?? or something even tho I’ve only had minor difficulties swallowing sometimes (a lot of the pain/issue comes when I speak I think)

so that’s where I’m at now. for w/e reason I can’t get anything besides water and crackers down consistently (and even then those still come up sometimes) and I’ve been looking for solutions myself or to at least figure out what it is since I sort of need to be able to eat more than just once every few days (tho I seem to keep toast down which is nice)

mostly I’ve been leaning towards GERD since there’s no real/overt pains, I’ve had acid reflux all my life as far as I can remember, and it ties in with the upper chest pain and headaches but then I wasn’t doing this for the last ~7 months, this regurgitating thing only just started, so I’m not entirely convinced tho idk what else it could be (the doc I spoke to today mentioned a hernia thingy?? which is what I leaned for at first when it was just chest aches and looking at symptoms now it does kinda fit still but also it doesn’t?? so idk) 

and this entire time I’ve been scared out of my mind bc of various reasons (from not knowing what’s going on to what my body’s actually been doing to my own family members kinda not helping to put it very lightly lol) and that’s kinda why my writing drive has been next to nonexistent and I haven’t been posting all that often (and part of why I haven’t seen the ML finale - I don’t need that kinda feeling rn lmao)

now tho the plan is to get an endoscopy at the hospital sometime soon I think (I’m waiting for a scheduling phone call rn) while taking prilosec (which....isn’t really working tbh) and I’m just kinda trying to hang in there and not freak out too badly but it’s been hard lol

hopefully we can set this thing up today and get it done asap so I can maybe start being myself again sooner rather than later assuming I even can but yea!! I appreciate the patience and kindness that’s been offered to me over the last few months especially since y’all didn’t even know I was going thru anything lmao

also!! real quick!! another (maybe not as major) reason as to why writing’s slowed so much is bc I sorta ran out of room in my room and started stacking stuff on my computer and typing out full fledged fics on my lil ipod (yes, ipod, not phone) is uh really hard!! but I managed to clean some stuff up in between all of this and once I get better I’ll be doing more cleaning in my room to try and have my computer back full time

[comicteaparty]

June 13th-June 19th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from June 13th, 2020 to June 19th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

What is your physical and digital workspace like when you’re working on your story?

🌈ERROR404 🌈

LOL it really depends on what stage I'm in of the process - My storyboarding space is at home, as comfortable as I can be, a beer and some food at the ready and pure silence. The cats have to be freshly fed, otherwise I'll be harassed and lose my headspace entirely LOL. I usually work on my story boards digitally, just at a very small scale, with my script/outline on my computer and working on my ipad! The double screen helps a LOT, although i would just print out the script if I had access to a printer, haha. When I'm working on the actual page itself, it's a very different story. I usually just try and work on it in tiny little batches during the day when I'm stuck at home, and usually work around the animals as best i can, lmao. Truthfully, I really prefer to be in a coffee shop when I'm working on finishing pages, it makes me so much more productive than i am in this house with so many things to take care of right in front of me, but, obviously, that's a bit difficult to do these days. ;; I usually reserve food and drink until after I pass a milestone in inking/sketching to help motivate me to keep going for as much as I can before taking a break, and I need some kind of music or video playing in the background to keep myself from being absolutely bored out of my mind. My shading process, since it's in black and white, is very easy and i can finish it in one setting, easy, no matter what I'm working with. I also work digitally for my pages, of course, although I don't need more than my ipad and clip studio for it!

DaeofthePast

freshly fed cats

🌈ERROR404 🌈

They are BEASTS when hungry, the little bastards (love them)

I may only work in peace when they're post-food napping lmao

DaeofthePast

we only have one, but same

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I work almost entirely in the corner of my IKEA couch at home I used to work at a proper desk with a Cintiq, but when I switched to Procreate on an iPad, I migrated to the couch and surrounded myself with a nest of clothes and blankets and books and... here I am, bein' cozy. With terrible posture But when I was between jobs last year, I did rent a little coworking space down the street so I could get out of my pajamas and go get comic stuff done there. It was a godsend. I like drawing at my favorite coffee shop every so often too, but I tend to hide my work while I draw, and there, everyone can look over my shoulder The coworking space had a tall artist desk that was rarely used, so I often grabbed that one. Not cheap, but to stave off cabin fever, heck yes, worth it.

🌈ERROR404 🌈

Ahhh I've been really thinking about getting a studio space one of these days I really shouldn't rn, with my finances as they are, but I could REALLY make use of one recently

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I loved the space I used last year. They recently had to close for... current-event reasons... and are going to reopen with all sorts of plexiglass barriers between the desks I feel so bad for them. Good studio spaces are wonderful, I would support them again if I ever was out of a job!

🌈ERROR404 🌈

it's good they've found ways to make it safer, though!

carcarchu

My old workspace was in the basement of my home in canada and it was always perpetually freezing even in the summer and i was frequently visited by spiders so my current workspace is a huge improvement in that regard. I do miss my old ergonomic desk chair though. I'm definitely not the kind of person who can draw in bed or on the couch. I need to be in workmode and having a designated space just for that is necessary for me to get in the right headspace for that.

DaeofthePast

my workspace rn is just my desk with my laptop and my drawing tablet. my laptop is stacked on top of a pile of books so i can see the screen (otherwise my tablet blocks my line of sight). it's kinda simple

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Depends. I have a Cintiq Mobile Studio, so I can draw pretty much every where and sometimes in the oddest position, but most of the time I am on my desk with the cintiq hooked up to a second monitor so I don't have to look down so much.(edited)

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

For Wayfinders: Thumbnails are somewhere cozy and the only physical work. Me and Q sit and plan them out together. The rest of wayfinders are made on Photoshop, and flat colors in clip paint studio. In the world I would love a nice studio place in an office with others. During corentine I have been working from home, and I am not that good at it, being quite the extrovert. Before corentine I was in a artist residency where I worked on Wayfinders which had a workstation and all the programs we could need. It is so nice and me and Q are going to return there when it opens up again!

Miranda

I have an iPad so usually on the couch, cozied up with coffee and pillows and blankets. But sometimes at the table. But usually on the couch like the gremlin I am

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I have a large drafting table, a mini drafting table, and a lapdesk in my papasan when we ink/draw! Toning and letters are all done on the desktop in its own space

Miranda

I need to get a good lap desk. But that sounds like a grand setup!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

My first time hearing about a lapdesk

Omg I need one

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

They are the best things ever Mine has just the pencil holder !(some come with cup holders and its a waste of space imo)

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Wow I like your setup of the drafting tables

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I wanna show pics of them....if im allowed in this chat?

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I hope so, I'm not sure which channel we can post studio photos at? I did see some did before?

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

Ill post in shop talk since creator babble gets archived

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

my current space is uh.... a bit better than my last one. I used to work on an old writers desk for a decade and I did most of my comic work sitting there cramped up with my desktop taking most of the space. Now I have an L shaped desk where I have my desktop on the shorter end. The longer end it's my pen, pencils, and watercolor stuff. my display tablet occupy the space at times so switching from digital and traditional without worrying about setup hassle is a lot better than what I dealt with before lol.

I'm glad the days I had to curl up and draw with no privacy are long gone now

kayotics

I’ve got a little drafting table where I draw all my comic pages. I’m messy with my pens so they’re kind of strewn about until I start to lose them. Then I put them back. I’m not particularly neat. I spend most of the comic process off the computer, so most of my digital work is just on an iPad where I can sit anywhere. I try to keep good lighting around my drafting table and there’s always loose eraser shavings all over.

Natasha Berlin (Pot of Gold)

I got myself a lil corner desk by the dining table. Not as well-lit as I'd like, but it's decently ergonomic and I started putting posters on my wall Plus I can leave work mindset easily by turning off my computer and forgetting about the dark corner in the dining room XD(edited)

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My desk is really sloppy and covered in all kinds of junk. I have a harmonica, a ball of yarn, a bunch of ink bottles, etc on my desk. I have my sketchbook under my tablet and usually a notebook somewhere for writing. My tablet sits to the right of my laptop (on top of sketchbook) while I'm not using it and when I'm using it it goes over my computer keyboard. I sometimes have a glass of water or some food sitting to the lefthand side

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

The only thing I wanna share about my workspace is this

once i spent over three hours looking for that damned pen

never again

🌈ERROR404 🌈

Ajkdhfkjs the models for hte magazine im crying

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh my God

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

mad giggling

Deo101 [Millennium]

youre gonna manage to lose the string

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

omg

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i know in my heart deo is right but still i hope

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

You should weld a metal chain to it

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Watch me lose the whole tablet

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh nooo

I believe in you!

TaliePlume

My workspace is a black table with a white, yellow, blue and green tablecloth with 3 black chairs. It's next to the kitchen. On it, is my laptop and the left side is my clipboard, 3 blue folders full of writing. Then above it, is 3 sketchbooks and another blue folder from a class that I took in community college.

June 16, 2020

sagaholmgaard

I have one long desk at almost three meters. On the left side is all my coffee and tea supplies, in the middle is my work space and on the right is my dining table xD I get everything done from there, despite having a mobilestudio so I COULD sit anywhere and work, lol. It's a blessing during holiday seasons to be able to bring it everywhere, but at some I like my designated working space. Although I am moving in a few weeks, so who knows what my new workspace will be

Moral_Gutpunch

My workspace is anywhere I can draw or write. It's more of a "Will I be interrupted over something petty or stupid" issue than space. Not that I don't want more space.

Mitzi (Trophallaxis)

My workspace is a big, broken corner desk I managed to lug out of an old apartment when it was gonna be trashed. Before then, I'd just draw in bed. I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure the folding chair I sit at is a similar affair. It's got a Dollar General throw pillow on it so I can at least say I'm trying to save my back. The top of the desk is a mess of mostly old bottles and cans, pencils, incense ash, and my old tarot deck. I love this setup dearly. This is the first time I've ever had my own desk space, much less a space I can decorate or leave as messy as I want. Got my own art up on the walls with sticky tack and all! Also the cat's scratching post is directly behind me, because we've learned the cat won't use it unless it's as in the way as possible. What can ya do, lol.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh cats...

Desnik

I got spoiled with an adjustable desk. It is six feet long, and has a whiteboard top for noodling with dry erase markers

my main computer is set up on an adjustable stand so it floats over the desk, and then I have my cintiq, which we tried to mount on a similar stand but then it was just too heavy

I keep my dice collection nearby because fidgeting helps think things through sometimes

and rolling to make odd decisions never hurts

lately during the quarantine I've been sharing the office with my spouse so we've had to establish rules over when it's okay to bug each other(edited)

oh yeah and we also have a whiteboard installed in the office, and it rules!(edited)

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

Mine is pretty simple: I have a laptop that's long stopped being portable and is now mostly just sitting at my desk at all times and a 19 inch Ugee as my display. I usually keep a lot of stuff on top of my desk, but it's mostly just a mess because I have been using it for work too for a while now

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I suppose I'll talk about my setup too :) My main setup is where I do digital art. I share an office with my SO, so we both have workspaces on opposite walls from each other. I work on a corner desk that holds my beefy computer, two monitors, and a Huion Kamvas GT-191. That's where I draw my comic and pretty much everything else done digitally. Ngl, it's a mess right now. I have comic notes and location floor plans in sketchbooks and DnD character sheets spread out all over the surface, and random pens and sticky notes. In the corner of the room, we have a nice large-format printer where I produce prints for conventions. I actually sketch my pages on an iPad pro in Procreate, so during the sketch phase, sometimes I'll just bundle up on my couch and do it, or before quarantine, sometimes I'd sketch on the go. My other workspace (which hasn't gotten much love as of late tbh) is a drafting table in the corner of our living room. I keep a tabletop easel on it and my Copic markers, as well as whatever I'm working on at the moment. (RN it's some ink washes.) The drawers hold all my ink, pencils, erasers, etc. Next to the drafting table is where I keep all my large charcoal, graphite, and oil pastel drawings (mostly school projects), and my large paintings. Other than that, I have a nifty little cart where I keep painting supplies :) I will say, this setup is by far an enormous improvement from my previous setups.