#I had to let out another midnight brainworm

[oshiawaseni]

Izuku’s scars. Most of them had been made while he was still trying to get used to his power, in his desperation to become a hero.

Kacchan’s scars… had all been made when he'd found something to protect and were born in his desperation to become Izuku’s hero.

After they first started dating, whenever his chest lay bare in front of Izuku, Izuku can barely look at those scars and quickly downcasts his eyes after a second because he knows they are his fault. Kacchan’s stunning Adonis body was now marred all over because of him.

But as the months pass by, a new warm feeling starts to build in Izuku's chest whenever he looks at them. The more he learns of the feelings and everything else inside the blonde’s heart, the more he begins to see those scars as beautifully splayed proofs of Kacchan’s love. And because of them, he becomes even more breathtaking and perfect to him, which Izuku had thought was impossible.

When they make love, Izuku runs his fingers over them and often dampens the wrecked skin with hot tears while nuzzling his face against them. It overwhelms him how much more loved he feels while Kacchan embraces him, all because of those pretty scars.

If he wakes up the next morning and Kacchan’s lying next to him, he might kiss them softly and lightly trace around their edges with the tips of his fingers, ever so carefully, so as to not wake Kacchan up.

And on some mornings, Izuku can't help the tears that run down his face after watching him for just a few minutes because he feels so blessed his hero is lying right there, right next to him, alive and breathing peacefully in his sleep.

Which brings us to now, it's been a few years since their first kiss and Izuku is lightly stroking Kacchan's soft hair in the quiet early hours of another morning together. Not even the birds are awake and breaking the still air with their chittering. Izuku thinks back to a precious memory of the first and only time they had ever talked about the scars. Kacchan had clicked his tongue and said to him after they’d gotten out of the boy's bath in their third year,

‘Stop looking at ‘em so mopey, Izuku. ’m like a cool war hero ‘n these’re all my badges of honour.” .......

The blonde had looked like there was more he wanted to say as his eyes contemplated Izuku, who was a little bewildered by the topic of his outburst. But instead of letting out anymore words, Kacchan reached his hand over to pull Izuku flush against his body.

Izuku had reached up with his hand to caress over Kacchan’s right cheek, where a trace amount of scar tissue still remained, and gazed deep into the smouldering embers of those fiery eyes, searching for what truths lay beneath them. Kacchan’s usual intense stare softened as it took in Izuku and when Izuku saw the faintest flicker of tenderness flash into those beautiful expressive red orbs that never told lies, he slightly leaned up to claim a deep kiss from the blonde’s mouth and smiled at him gently.

‘Yes, General.’

And that had been the end of it. Izuku sighs and falls back to sleep with his hand laying over Kacchan’s heart.

-

Katsuki's eyes opened. The truth was he’s always known about Izuku’s fixation with his scars. Over the years, he had been roused a few times by Izuku's feather touches and quiet sniffling in the early morning hours before dawn. After the nightmare they both went through during those trying high school years, he felt there wasn't much to be done about it. He only felt immense gratitude for his scars, they made it so Izuku and he could live out the rest of their lives, fulfilling all of their dreams together.

Katsuki gently wiped away an almost dry tear from his beloved’s cheek and pulled the sleeping bundle in closer to him, barely murmuring into his hair,

‘I’d get ‘em all over again ‘n a thousand more if it meant I could still get ta hold you in my arms like this.’

Katsuki kisses the top of green curls and closes his eyes with a hum, allowing himself to be slowly lulled back into unconsciousness by the calming even breaths of his lover sleeping beside him.

~owari~

[ohbo-ohno]

ok here’s the thing: I’m a fucking Hunger Games lore buff. I’ve read the books a million times and seen all the movies a bunch and read Songbirds and Snakes cover to cover. YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER MY BRAIN.

Here’s a little brainworm for you: Tribute reader pulling a little Johanna Mason. Let me explain.

When Johnny and Simon get their hands on this years tributes, they can already tell they’ve got their work cut out for them. Simon takes over with the boy because the girl is quite obviously a pathetic sniveling mess. So Johnny gets to see through the trick mirror into Reader’s actual plan: disguise herself as a weakling and then catch everyone by surprise. She trains privately with Johnny, and he gives her all the know how and information she needs to survive. All Simon ever sees, though, is the weepy little thing with no chance of survival. So he’s understandably confused and agitated when Johnny insists that Reader’s gonna win, and places all of their bettings on her. He expects her not to make it through the bloodbath, and he thinks he’s right, until they play the faces of the day’s deceased and Reader is noticeably still alive.

A few more days pass. Johnny sends Reader some supplies to keep her alive and well-stocked. At midnight on the fourth day, Reader’s plan begins for real.

There’s about 14 tributes left counting her. Then thirteen. Then twelve. And then eleven. The cameras zoom in on Reader, covered in blood, with a satisfied smile on her face. She’s wearing a splint on her leg because allegedly she took a tumble- she rips the damn thing off with prejudice and sighs in relief. The broken leg was an act as well.

Simon has never been harder in his fucking life when he watches Reader carve her way through the remaining tributes. The games end with a catastrophic earthquake and a cinematic finish, as Reader pushes the last competitor into a ravine. After she comes out of the healing bay good as new and ready to make her debut as the newest Victor, Simon and Johnny are waiting for her. They have to postpone the after games ceremonies while Simon pounds the Reader against the nearest surface and licks all the blood off of her face.

there's this moment in the first hunger games book where katniss recalls several past hunger games and why they were/weren't popular, and in one of them she mentions a games where the only weapons provided were "horrible spiked maces that the tributes had to bludgeon one another to death with" and it's my personal headcanon that that was johanna's year 💞 can you imagine her going from being a little teary, a lot pathetic, to a killing machine with a fucking mace and winning the whole Games? ohhh my god

anyways i'm fucking obsessed with this take on a hunger games au and i would read several thousand words about it. tysm for gifting it to me

[thewholedamnboulangerie]

Hi hi 💕💕💕 trope combo! Kimchay + accidental eavesdropping + enemies to lovers

HIIII BELOVED 💕💕💕

I have used a VERY loose definition of "enemies" to lovers here, but the word "enemy" is in here, so like... it totally counts?

Also I was intending to write approx 500 words. This is 2.2k. Ty for the insane brainworms love u 💖💖💖💖💖

✨read on ao3✨

~

Kim had always thought that there were many advantages to being a bit of a night owl. For one thing, inspiration always seemed to flow more freely, with each new chord that might deign to drift through his mind resounding more clearly in the still and quiet; for another, it had always proven the best time to slip around the family compound unseen and unmolested, since all the most interfering busybodies had already whisked themselves off to bed; and, of most immediate concern, there was no one around to see him abandoning his dignity and rummaging haphazardly through the kitchen cupboards at this ungodly hour.

It wasn’t that Kim forgot to eat sometimes, per se - he just occasionally deferred the task, letting it slip a few notches further down his to-do list, if he was immersed in something far more interesting. Like, for example, this evening’s unsuccessful attempt to access the compound’s secure computer files.

Meaning that it was now 3am, and he hadn’t eaten anything since the early afternoon, and his frustration over his unsuccessful hacking attempt was being very thoroughly compounded by the increasingly insistent gurgles coming from his stomach. Having burned through all his reserves of patience for that day - and probably for the entire week, for that matter - he had made a beeline straight for the kitchens, hoping to find a quick snack to solve at least one of his problems.

He had just unwrapped a packet of pastries and made the possibly inadvisable decision to shove one of them into his mouth whole, to tide him over while he looked for something more substantial, when the gentle padding of footsteps in the hall had him freezing in place, cheeks bulging and fingers still sticky with crumbs, flooded with horror at the thought of being caught now.

Fortunately, the paralysis only lasted for a second. There was nothing to be done about the incriminating pile of treats that he’d left strewn across the counter, but he had just enough time to spin on his heel and dash into the tiny alcove beside the largest fridge - one of his favourite hiding places in the compound since he’d been old enough to toddle. That, at least, had never changed.

The sensible thing to do now was to remain perfectly still, quieten his breathing, and hope that the hastily swallowed pastry would be enough to silence the furious grumblings of his stomach.

But Kim’s curiosity got the better of him, as it had always been wont to do, and he peeked around the corner - only to be met with the sight of a shuffling, pyjama-clad Porchay Kittisawasd, stifling a yawn with one hand and ruffling his sleep-tousled hair with the other.

Kim refused to acknowledge the aching burst of affection that flared through his chest at the sight.

Chay wandered over to the counter where Kim had just been standing, and began picking through the assorted snacks that Kim had discarded.

There was a faint sound, barely audible beneath the rustling of the wrappers. Was Chay humming? What was the song? No matter how hard Kim strained his ears, he couldn’t quite make it out.

After a moment’s consideration, Chay carefully plucked a pastry out of the very same packet that Kim had just opened, and took a bite.

Kim made a mental note to buy more of that particular brand the next time he ordered his own groceries. It really had been quite a tasty little snack, now that he thought about it.

However, the next moment, his musings were interrupted by the sound of more footsteps echoing down the hallway. Kim bit back a curse - of all the times for half the compound to decide they were in the mood for a midnight snack, why did it have to be tonight?

Chay had clearly heard the footsteps as well. He let out a dismayed squeak, shoved the other half of his pastry in his mouth, spun on his heel - and dashed into the same alcove that Kim was currently lurking in.

Suddenly face to face with the boy he’d lost before he’d even realised he loved him, Kim found himself lost for words, too. What was there to say, after all, to someone you’d deliberately made an enemy of, and utterly failed to reconcile with, when you found yourself forced into an unexpected stealth operation with them by the whims of fate and chance?

Fortunately, the clatter of footsteps into the kitchen, accompanied by a burst of unreasonably raucous laughter, absolved him of the obligation to say anything at all. Bringing a finger urgently to his lips, Kim let himself seek refuge in the familiar, claustrophobic sanctuary of silence.

Chay’s eyes flashed indignantly, and for a moment Kim thought he was going to argue - but fortunately, Chay didn’t seem any keener than him to alert anyone else of their presence in the alcove, and he subsided with an irritated huff, features settling into a frown. Or at least, Kim thought it was probably a frown. It wasn’t an expression he’d often seen Chay make, but that particular crinkle of his brow probably wasn’t a happy one.

Kim let his eyes slide away, and focused his attention on the conversation the two bodyguards who’d just entered the kitchen were engaged in.

“-sure I’m not the only one it’s happened to,” one of them was saying. “I’d put money on it, honestly.”

“Yeah man, I’m not doubting you,” the other agreed emphatically. “Did I tell you about the time I had to cover for their usual driver last week and chauffeur them to that meeting with the Germans?”

Kim was focusing more intently, now - bodyguard gossip was often a wealth of unexpected clues and insight.

“Do I want to know?” laughed the first bodyguard.

“Probably not,” his friend replied. “So, I had Khun Kinn and Khun Porsche in my backseat, both of them - oh, do I even need to say more? You know where this story’s going.”

“Do I?” the other asked, in tones of exaggerated innocence. “No, I think you better spell it out for me.”

Kim was rapidly becoming very, very certain that he did not want this guy to spell anything whatsoever out for him, thank you very much.

Unfortunately, luck was decidedly not on his side that evening.

“Well, I had the partition up and the soundproofing turned on, obviously, so I can’t say for sure.” The bodyguard paused for dramatic effect, then continued, “But I could still hear them, in spite of all that, and if Khun Kinn wasn’t getting his dick sucked back there-”

Having thoroughly revised his opinion of the value of bodyguard gossip, Kim decided that he was going to voluntarily go deaf now, actually. Shifting his attention firmly away from this terrible, awful, no-good conversation, his gaze fell back on Chay - whose head was now buried in his hands.

For a few seconds, Kim furiously debated with himself whether he ought to risk checking if Chay was alright. Then, in the first stroke of good luck he’d had that entire night, the bodyguards’ footsteps began to trudge back down the hallway, their voices fading into the night and taking the remnants of their horrible conversation with them.

Chay lowered his hands and looked back up at Kim, eyes wide and definitely no longer clouded with the dregs of sleep. 

For a moment, Chay just stared at Kim, unblinking. Then, the faintest edge of hysteria lacing his voice, he mumbled, “That was the worst thing that’s ever happened.”

Kim had imagined this moment so many times, in so many ways, that he couldn’t have kept track of them all if he’d tried. He was pretty sure that he had, in fact, imagined the first words Chay would say to him the next time they spoke being along those lines on more than one occasion.

It still stung.

He swallowed, dropping his gaze to the floor, and shrank back a little. There was only so far he could go - it was a tiny alcove, and Chay was blocking the way out - but he could put a little bit more space between them, if it would lessen Chay’s discomfort.

He was jolted out of his self-pitying reverie by a gentle slap to his chest.

“Not - I didn’t mean you, P’Kim!” Chay protested. Kim’s head snapped up - impossibly, Chay was half-smiling at him, flapping one hand in the space between them. “I just meant - wow, that was too much information, you know? God, I did not need to know that.” Chay gave an over-exaggerated shudder, and Kim couldn’t help nodding in agreement - he, too, did not need to know that.

“Anyway, uh…” Chay had barely begun to speak before he was interrupted by a jaw-splitting yawn.

Kim felt the corner of his lips quirk up involuntarily. “Time for bed?” he murmured, even though the last thing he wanted was for Chay to slip away and through his fingers yet again. But, then again, it was inevitable. Maybe there was no sense in delaying it. After all, he’d always been good at denying himself the things he wasn’t meant to have, to lessen the sting when they drifted completely out of reach.

But then Chay giggled, raising an eyebrow, and suddenly he didn’t look tired at all. “Was that an innuendo, P’Kim?”

Kim’s mind came to a screeching halt, panic racing through him. “No, I didn’t - I know you don’t - Chay, I didn’t mean-” he stuttered, then gave up and covered his face with a groan.

Chay laughed again. Kim had never appreciated just how sweet that sound was, before.

Then, another pair of hands were gently prising his own from his face, and Chay was meeting his gaze with an unexpectedly serious expression.

At some point, he’d grown taller than Kim. He hadn’t realised that until now.

“You know I don’t what, P’Kim?” Chay asked, gentle but insistent.

Kim swallowed. “You don’t - I know you’re still angry with me.”

Chay hummed, scrunching his nose contemplatively. “And how do you know that, exactly?”

Kim felt the ground shifting beneath his feet. Words deserted him completely; he was powerless to do anything but blink back at Chay.

Chay took pity on him, and broke the silence again. “Maybe I’m still a little angry, phi. But mostly, I’m tired of being angry. And I think… I think I miss having you around.”

Kim took in a shaky breath. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the lack of food, or simply the muted glow from the fluorescent lights, barely illuminating their little hidden corner, but the entire conversation had taken on an air of unreality.

Or maybe it was simply because it felt too much like everything he’d barely let himself yearn for, made reality.

I’ve missed you too, he wanted to say.

Or perhaps that wasn’t enough. All I see now, no matter where I look, is the absence of you. That was closer to the truth of it.

But Kim had never been good with words. Not the sincere kind, not when the truth was at stake. Not when it mattered.

But Chay deserved an answer of some kind. Nothing he could dredge up would be adequate, but he had to try.

“I’ve missed you too,” Kim whispered.

The ripple of shock through his veins, in the aftermath of those words passing his lips, was a slow, sluggish thing. Even as the words echoed in his ears, he couldn’t quite believe he’d said them - the exact words he’d wanted to force out. It might have been a miracle.

And yet, it had been easy. Simple.

And Chay’s answering smile was brilliant. Dazzling.

At least, until it was interrupted by another enormous yawn.

The ensuing silence only lasted for a moment before both of them burst into helpless snorts of laughter, Chay pitching forward to bury his head in Kim’s shoulder.

“Maybe you were right, P’Kim,” came Chay’s muffled voice a second later, “it really might be time for bed.” He drew back to meet Kim’s eyes again, then continued, “But tomorrow… well, if we both miss each other, maybe we should do something to fix that. Would that - does that sound good to you?”

Kim could only nod helplessly, the force of his longing having stolen his words away completely. Chay beamed back at him. “Good.”

And then, a contemplative look passed over Chay’s features, a gleam appearing in his eyes.

Kim instinctively knew what he was about to do, and made no move to resist.

Chay’s lips met his; just the faintest brush of pressure. Kim’s eyes fluttered closed, and Chay pressed blessedly closer, a beacon of warmth against him.

The kiss couldn’t have lasted more than a few seconds before Chay broke away, taking a piece of Kim’s heart with him.

That was more than fine by Kim. He hadn’t realised he still had anything left of his heart to give; whatever remained, he would happily offer up to Chay on a platter.

Chay let out another nervous giggle, seemingly overcome by a sudden bout of shyness. “Ah, well - goodnight then, P’Kim! I’ll see you - or, mm, we can talk tomorrow?” And before Kim even had the chance to reply, he’d turned and darted out of the alcove.

Kim leaned back against the wall, letting himself melt into the stone. He couldn’t quite feel any of his limbs; he couldn’t quite bring himself to care.

He’d always known this was the best hiding spot in the house.

[tryingtimi]

5✨

Waiting Game

Well, what a mix of prompts. I just remembered one of my goal this year was to clear out my drafts. So I guess I’m at it and my brainworms help me plenty recently. Also, I’m sorry for the length again. Spotify prompt was Waiting Game by Kalandra.

Context: Cronyl teaches Avelyn how to ride a cougar, after they arrive at Yaran. It’s probably after he had some injury or a low moment Avelyn witnessed since she’s pretty worried about him. She’s already figured out she has feelings for him btw. They’re still pre-relationship here.

DYNAMIC EXPLORATION | FLUFF FLUFF AND FLUFF | BIG CATS | WC: 1,764

“Easy, gently,” Cronyl whispered beside Avelyn’s ear. “There. Good. Very good.”

A pearl of sweat ran down her spine alongside the cold shiver his low voice caused. The desert’s heat was nowhere near what she felt from Cronyl’s chest. He couldn’t have been farther from her back than some inches.

Their all-covering, yet thin Yarish clothing rustled as the cougar gracefully sauntered underneath them, its movements rocking them evenly.

Her grip tightened over the leather rein again when she lost the rhythm of the beast. The cougar growled quietly.

“Easy.”

Another soft advice, another all-body shiver. Avelyn wasn’t sure how long they were out in the open, but she was very aware of where her feverish state of mind came from. Her composure barely, held the last threads of her will keeping her spikes at bay. The reason wasn’t the desert’s burning hotness or the seemingly infinite sand. Nor the blazing sun over them.

She slowly breathed in the warm air like water.

“Is this alright?” Her tongue felt like parchment in her mouth, her palm sweating over the rein. Yet, she was determined to learn. That was why she came anyway.

“It’s great. Keep going, let her guide you,” Cronyl said, his breath hitting her shoulder. “Don’t think. You’ll follow her movements naturally if you let her lead.”

Avelyn almost closed her eyes for a second. His breath was like a wisp of fresh air in the burning heat. She nearly became used to the constant shivering of her body when he spoke.

The cougar’s fur poked her bare legs under the thin clothing, but she could easily forget about that.

She tried to do as he told her.

With eyes losing focus on the sparkling dunes under the midnight sun, Avelyn shepherded her concentration towards the feline’s motions. To the sensation of the legs elegantly counting every step, the moving muscles pressing to her tighs with it. The cougar did not make any sound, yet her paws sank into the sand, crunching softly. There was nothing before them, only the waving heat’s brushstrokes over the meeting of the desert and the horizon.

She tried to do as he told her, yet her mind couldn’t ignore his presence. Nor could her body.

Cronyl’s legs only touched her clothing, when the beast strayed to one side. Still, she couldn’t be less aware of him sitting behind her.

Avelyn stopped herself from pulling on the rein. There was a lingering force in her hand that never stopped.

“She’s stubborn.”

Cronyl remained silent for a moment. Then, she could feel him lean even closer.

“Don’t try to control her. You can’t. She’s a feline, and a wild one no less. They’re not one to control, they’re our equals.”

“What should I do then?” Avelyn murmured, her lungs burning, her back aching from the closeness of Cronyl.

“Breathe,” he said.

With that, she realized she was holding back her breath. She slowly emptied her lungs, the cougar nervously meowing some gibberish, while wiggling slightly.

“Breathe, slowly. You need to control yourself, so you can partner up with her.” There was another pause, then, his hand scooped before Avelyn’s stomach, not touching it, but hovering over it. “Keep the air down here, and let it out evenly. Yes, like that. You’re doing great.”

Was she? Her chest seemed to be full of swirling sandstorms, blazing warmness flaming inside like wildfire. It threatened to turn uncontrollable. Avelyn continued to breathe, but she had the rawest urge to lean back into his arms.

However, she couldn’t move.

Her body was rigid as if frozen. She needed to clear her mind, so she closed her eyes for a second. Her embarrassment took over her nerves in the meantime.

Then, the cougar let out a bestial, high-pitched prow.

The world suddenly turned and blurred, the beast coming on full speed to run towards the sun. She trashed under them, her grace fading into wild cries and quick, fast hops. Sand whirled around as her enormous paws kicked up fine dust, making it hard to see anything. Panic surged through Avelyn’s body, her lungs slowly filling up with all the desert within.

When it seemed certain she’ll end up in the glistening sand or under her paws, a firm arm closed over her waist, and another reached for the rein.

“You’re hurting her,” Cronyl said softly, his voice still low and calm. He pulled her closer, touching her hands, and gently pushing on her palms from under to let go.

How could I…

Avelyn pulled back her hands, fast.

She stared at her slightly sharpened nails, the tiniest specks of blood staining the edges. Her heart sank into her stomach, and her eyes couldn’t wander from the animal sprinting under them. She…

“It’s okay. Breathe. Slowly.”

Cronyl’s voice made her sigh heavily, letting out the damned held-down breath. His arm kept her secure, in place, and she could feel the heat of his palm over her clothed skin. His other hand held the rein proficiently, and somehow made the cougar stop her sharp turns. Stop her trying to throw them down.

Avelyn grabbed Cronyl’s arm to hold onto something, and he tightened his brace, pulling her closer to himself.

The animal did not slow.

“It’s okay,” he repeated into her ear, “you’re okay. She’s not mad, just upset. Surprised. You need to assure her of your intent. You can do it. If someone, you can do it.”

That in itself nearly calmed her down to the point of contentment. Why would he be so sure about her? It was madness. Yet, it helped. Helped so much, after some more minutes of staring at the cougar’s rushing form, she reached over carefully. She continued to breathe, and when her unsureness threatened to take over, she leaned into the touch of Cronyl’s hand. Her hand touched the animal, earning a growl and some bearly bared fangs she could see from the side. Her breath shook, but she did not let go.

Fingers pushed into fur softly, and she felt every hair brushing her skin. She did not sweat as them, but she was warm, nearly burning. And she was soft, softer than Avelyn have thought, considering the poking in her legs. Golden light swirled inside her, a tiny speck leaking somewhere. Avelyn brushed her own golden light over it, healing the small wound she caused.

Then, she cautiously moved her hand further, caressing the beast. She could feel its tensed muscles and could hear its panting. Her head sometimes twisted to one side, as if she was trying to wriggle out of Avelyn, while strange chuffing, then hissing left her mouth. As if she’s been fighting with herself.

Avelyn realized she was just as frightened and uncertain as she was.

Hot air snaked under her clothes as she continued, her other hand joining in. She matched her breathing to the cougar’s, and let her body relax enough so it could completely take up her rhythmic movements. The speed still sent chills to her bones, but she kept her focus more on the animal. She watched her and felt her. She understood her.

Slowly, the hissing was replaced by silence or some quiet, raw meowing. Her hand slid higher carefully, and reached the head, scratching it lightly.

A low, rumbling purr resonated from her through Avelyn’s whole body.

“See? You don’t even need the rein.”

Cronyl’s voice almost startled Avelyn. The cougar huffed under them.

“Unbelievable,” Avelyn breathed, a smile creeping onto her lips. “How did you know? How could you be so sure in me?”

Wind-touched dust cloud ran over them, forcing their eyes closed for a moment. Then, as Avelyn opened them again, she could catch a glimpse of the first thick plants. With that, the earth changed, perhaps trembled slightly, and she could hear something else than the strong breeze.

Paws stomped on the sand.

Avelyn’s mouth fell open under the niqab. One, two, then four and five cougars appeared on both sides, soaring beside them. They exchanged roars and purred with the one under Avelyn and Cronyl.

“You stripped away the walls I built, Avel. An animal’s is nothing in comparison.”

Avelyn’s hands stopped in the caressing. Only so an unstoppable giggle could climb up on her throat, warmness still building in her chest by hearing that name.

When did Cronyl start jesting with her?

“Well, it’s still you, you know. It’s always been you who let me in. So if it was about how long it lasts, you should have built them higher, then.”

He scoffed, shards of jest still lingering in the sound. The awareness of his closeness returned, as the cougar slowed her speed. Avelyn felt their hips move in sync with the beast’s back, his chest warming her back, legs closely tucked under her thighs. His hand stayed around her waist, firmly keeping her in place, the other reaching over to barely but still touching the rein. That made him stay so close to her, she could feel his breath on her neck.

The cougar meowed in an unsatisfied tone and pushed her head into Avelyn’s hand which stopped scratching her head for a while now. She startled up from her daze, a chuckle leaving her and Cronyl’s mouths as well. The other cougars echoed her, shifting closer, and stirring up the desert more to reveal the rest of what it hid under. Strange-looking plants reached for the sky, tiny creatures scattering around. The felines crept close enough to gently poke Avelyn’s and Cronyl’s legs, their head softly brushing them.

Cronyl reached for the closest scratch behind its ear, his other hand still holding Avelyn. It wasn’t something that needed anymore, there was no danger or a situation that would require it. Yet he did not let go. And she wouldn’t want it either. It was a secret they both shared, an aspect they wouldn’t mention. She wondered if he was as afraid for his words to run free as she was. Because she had a lot to say, yet she feared if she spoke, the moment would wither away. Perhaps forever.

So, they wrapped themselves around a thick silence, many unspoken words hovering under the blazing sun.

[felikatze]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Oh my, an opportunity to be vain!

The first one is gonna be my current baby, of course.

You awoke to blood in your mouth and birdsong in your ears.

Grima's closest servant followed the Shepherds into the past. Alone and injured, Morgan makes a vow. To save the world, to save their family, to save their father.

No matter the cost.

(Or: Hierophant Morgan AU, without amnesia and a Future Past adjacent Morgan.)

I think abt this fic so much. so much. i keep talking abt my Plans for it bcuz i am just STOKED. i barely even remember what inspired this fic outside the vague notion of "What if FP but Main Timeline"

this version of morgan is near and dear to me. i love laying out their various psycholigical issues. did you notice they emulate grima's speech when trying to be evil.

second! not FE! My original baby on hiatus because the FE brainworms took over. When missing link drops it'll be back I promise.

Naminé finds a shadow creature inside a cave, Repliku gets attached before he can get rid of it, and Vanitas would like for people to stop petting him please.

(Or: Two introverts try to hide a really weird cat from their keyblade-wielding friends, who will probably slay it on sight.)

Oh man. I havent worked on this one in a WHILE which is especially cruel because I left on a cliffhanger but you gotta consider. terminal FE brain. this fic is what REALLY got me started on writing. It actually made me plan things.

It also made me realize that writing slice of life is really hard. If you don't have an overarching plot to push outside of general character arcs what do you even?? do???

i love this fic but i do cringe when i reread it.

if you ever notice oddly slapstick elements in plusquam, this is where they come from. morgan getting yeeted two chapters in a row is really just an evolution of the vanitas defenestration joke.

next up, my current series.

It's just another pitstop for Grima's hoard; Naga's Tear. But as he tears through the ruins, a girl hugs him and claims to be his daughter. Now, if Grima knew how she came to be, and what bees had to do with children, that'd be great.

And of course Chrom had to recruit her. What else.

(Or: Grima meets Morgan. He's conflicted about this.)

Out of the labyrinth is a series that gives me insane joy from its sheer sillyness, but don't feed that thing after midnight is my favorite of the bunch so far. you might notice i love morgan.

considering how mired i was in my AU morgan characterization, going back to canon and seeing how silly as hell she is made me love her all the more. also. also. joke fic yeah but DID YOU NOTICE how much of grima's thoughts about her mirror forneus' in the valentian accord. did you. please i'm so proud of that.

next, what the fuck do you mean this fic is a year old, was my ninjago phase really last summer:

The fateful inheritance letter reaches Jay eventually. Only now, he knows it's coming.

Just in time for Cliff Gordon's funeral.

(Or: Jay meets his mother.)

out of all my eleven ninjago fics, this is my favorite. i wrote it because i kept thinking about skybound during 4am summer insomnia. it went through many typo fixes.

i do love how i did jay in this one. it's far too late for his mom to be his mom. he's already an adult. but it's not late enough for her to be his friend. it's a nice sentiment.

and last but not least! this fic us two years old, goddamn!

Astrid Remond did not expect life after death. And after another death. And a third one, for good measure.

She also did not expect meeting the protagonist. (And falling for them.)

(Or: Reincarnation, the fourth wall, and the slightly eldritch nature of customizable player characters.)

even if i'm not really into loh anymore for various reasons, a lot of the characters are still near and dear to me! lord/astrid is such a ship and astrid is a really fascinating character, and i wanted to explore that. when she came back in extreme mode, i was floored. also floored that my joke that she got isekai'd was actually true.

i also used a custom skin to make the text blue!! look at that!!

honorable mentions for "fics of mine i really like" go out to One Whole Boy, Sunny-side Up, Jailbreak, and dusk of a new night.

thank you for giving me the chance to gush about my fics!!! i have fifty five of these now, jesus christ!! i cant believe i've been writing fic for. five years now. FIVE YEARS!! THAT'S A LONG TIME!! that's a quarter of my whole life so far actually.

[feuqueerfire]

2023 Series Overview + Stats

2022 OVERVIEW (SHOWS, SHIPS) + STATS

It's the end of January 2024 but I realized I didn't end up doing a 2023 Series Overview and Summary, so I thought I'd do one now. Unlike the 2022 series overview where I was more prepared, had watched a lot more, and had even rewatched the favourites and almost-favourites of the year, I'm very unprepared this time.

So, it's gonna be shows & movies I watched in 2023 and my ratings for them until today (240128) without really having rewatched anything (except Beyond Evil).

I wonder if I'll rewatch some of these at the end of 2024 (along with the 2024 rewatches) and whether that'll change the rankings or my feelings at all.

I think I've decided that these yearly overviews will not change/be edited regardless of whether I come to really like a show afterward or change the ratings or whatever - a snapshot in time.

Favourite Shows

The shows released before 2023 will have (release year) beside them.

Top 3 Shows Watched in 2023:

Beyond Evil

My School President

Strangers From Hell (2019)

Beyond Evil: The only show that I watched in 2023 that I have since properly rewatched (I literally watched all 16 episodes this January 2024 without really skimming or speeding it up despite having watched the whole thing already. The characters, especially the mains Juwon and Dongshik gave me so many brainworms, the acting was great, the relationships among the characters was great, the mystery and suspense succeeded for me. Great show all around, actually it's making me wonder why it's a 8/10 and not at a 8.5.

My School President: This was so fun and introduced me to Gemini and Fourth, which was another delight. The OST and singing aspect of this was so good, for which I am eternally thankful. I think I liked the first half of the show better than the second half, which I thought for long-winded; otherwise, it might've also earned an 8 from me. Haven't rewatched the show properly but have watched some reactions to the earlier episodes and also listened to people's podcast episodes, as expected.

Strangers From Hell (2019): Out of these 3, this is the one I've thought the least about since watching and also haven't rewatched, so I remember the least about. So who knows, maybe I'll rewatch and be bored or something but it was so good while I watched it, the vibes so unsettling and strange and weird. Great acting, great story, should rewatch. It's also the first non-BL kdrama that I watched in a long time and was the reason I started watching more of them again, especially the thrillers/mysteries with no romance but homoerotic undertones lol

Next 4 - Liked A Lot:

Not quite the top 3 but I thoroughly enjoyed these. Unordered because they're all 7/10.

Moonlight Chicken

Derry Girls S1 (2018)

Alice in Borderland S1 (2020)

The Devil Judge (2021)

Only 1 BL, one non-BL with homoerotic undertones, 1 English-speaking comedy, and a death game thriller. Also from different countries: Thailand, Ireland, Japan, South Korea.

Ranges from fun/funny, thrilling, exciting, and heartfelt. They definitely all made an impression on me and have good acting/production value/story/etc, but maybe a thing or two disappointed me, or I just haven't connected with it enough to think about it too often. Still overall good shows that I liked a lot.

These were generally good, but just something was missing - either there was a production/story/acting issue that was bothering me a lot, or the production was very good, but it failed to take up any brain space after I finished watching. 6.5/10 in my rating.

Never Let Me Go

Midnight Motel

Choco Milk Shake (2022)

Happiness (2021)

Derry Girls S2 (2019)

Derry Girls S3 (2022)

A Shoulder To Cry On

So Long, See You Tomorrow (2021)

The Merciless (2017)

Bed Friend

Alice in Borderland S2 (2022)

Bloodhounds

The Eighth Sense

Enigma

Stay With Me

Our Dating Sim

High enjoyment or fondness, lacked in either production/acting/writing: Never Let Me Go, A Shoulder To Cry On (except the last ep rip), Stay With Me (it actually didn't lack in production and stuff either and is better than medium levels),

High production/acting, but lacked in making me care or be as invested as I should’ve been: Happiness, Alice in Borderland S2, Bloodhounds (okay idk where to put this because first 6 eps were so good - ep 6 itself is fucking wild but the ending sucked rip), The Eighth Sense, Our Dating Sim

These had medium levels of both production and fondness but not enough to think about often or be great: Midnight Motel, Choco Milk Shake, Derry Girls S2/S3, So Long, See You Tomorrow (can't remember a single thing about this but I must've liked it from my review of it lol), The Merciless, Bed Friend, Enigma,

I think these should be lower actually maybe, like a 6/10 not 6.5 but I haven't rewatched them and don't remember a lot, so who knows: The Merciless, Bloodhounds, Midnight Motel, Choco Milk Shake, Bed Friend

Could Climb Higher - could be bumped up to a 7/10 if I love it upon rewatch and end up thinking about the characters more: Stay With Me, Eigth Sense, Our Dating Sim

Special Mentions: The rest of the shows I watched were rated lower than 6.5/10, though there were still a few that I have some fondness for because I like the concept/the acting pair/it just gave me something I wanted. This includes Island (literally only Cha Eunwoo's cool young priest character), Our Skyy 2 (some eps), I Go To School Not By Bus (2015) (idk that specific running away to bathroom scene and making out is so good), We Are Gamily (2017), ummmm I skimmed through eps 10-15 of Addicted Heroin (2016) (didn't watch anything before that) but there are certain very specific parts that I liked and get why it gave everybody brainworms.

Favourite Pairs (characters):

Lee Dongshik/Han Juwon (Beyond Evil): They are not a real couple in the show and yet... have read so much fic about them and in my head, they are indeed in love after all this mess. I don't have much to say, I just love their antagonistic relationship turning into something so tender (though still jagged) and it turning into something more after the ending

Tinn/Gun (My School President): cuties, my cuties. Adorable.

Don't have a third one, I don't think? so strange

Special Mentions: 

Palm and Nueng (Never Let Me Go)

Heart and Li Ming (Moonlight Chicken)

in my head, Ajin and Fa (Enigma) -not canon

Favourite Pairs (actors):

Fourth and Gemini, I think they're the only pair that I became interested in 2023 and like followed fanaccounts and stuff. I'm so looking forward to them in future projects (My Love Mix-Up was at Q10 very recently, I'm waitingggg). Incredibly talented young people, both in terms of acting but also the performances they did at the concert like oh nice

Favourite Side Pairs

Can't remember a single one except Heart and Li Ming (Moonlight Chicken)

Biggest Disappointments

To be a disappointment, I had to have at least semi-high hopes

Be My Favorite: This one was a real disappointment because I've been looking forward to it for so long. In fact, I'd been looking forward to it since I saw the original trailer with Mike and people were still insisting they wouldn't watch it and were booing Krist because I thought the synopsis was intriguing and liked the chemistry of the ship. I was so happy when everybody seemed to love the show and it's such a shame that in the end, I'm the one who ended up bored and feeling nothing for this show...

Happiness: Not a super big disappointment because it was still a good show and it wasn't super hyped but I thought I'd like it more because I've only heard good things about it. Also thought I'd like it more when I first started because I liked the beginning few eps quite a bit before it fell into a lull in the middle.

General Stats

Total Watched: 44 entries in my spreadsheet, less than half of the 104 completed in 2022 - makes sense because I watched very little in the latter 6 months of 2023. Without the following below, 39 newly completed series/movies/shorts in 2023.

1 DNF (The New Employee)

2 Rewatches (Midnight 2021, Kiss Me Again Pete/Kao cut)

1 Survival Show (Boys Planet)

1 extreme skimming (Addicted Heroin 2016)

Release date 2023 vs earlier: 23 vs 21

Almost half and half, interestingly. My to-watch list now has fewer BL/GL from earlier than 2023 but more het/non-romance kdramas from earlier since I've watched a lot of the earlier BLs that I'm interested in but have barely dipped into kdramas.

Queer vs non-queer: 23 vs 20

The non-queer shows may still have some queerness (Claire is a lesbian in Derry Girls, trans girl in Alice in Borderland, etc.) but it's not the main character or the main plot and not a significant enough side plot

lol didn't count Boys Planet in this but it feels queer fr

Also 50-50 surprisingly. Some non-queer shows like Derry Girls, Alice in Borderland, and Island have 2-3 seasons, so that bulks it up just a bit

BL vs GL in Queer shows: 21.5 vs 1.5

0.5 to each for We Are Gamily

rip my fawking GLs for reallll but hopefully I'll have a more fruitful lesbian-watching year because there are like 5 that I have on MDL that seem promising (and have also watched Bottoms this January)

Romance-Centric vs Non-Romantic in Non-Queer Shows: 3 vs 17

in the Non-Romantic shows, this many shows have very homoerotic undertones (regardless of whether I ship): ~6 (Bloodhounds, Midnight Museum, Beyond Evil, Devil Judge, Strangers From Hell, The Merciless)

Some of these also had het undertones/side couples: 5 (Tomorrow, Island S1/S2, Enigma, Midnight Motel)

Number of shows per month: 6, 4, 10, 4, 5, 7, 7 (July to November), 0

Please this funny spread, I really just fell off on watching shows in the last half of the month because I was preoccupied with ZB1

Didn't count Boys Planet (August)

Average rating: 6.3 (higher than last year, so that's nice)

[davidmann95]

Sooo… Superman and the Authority?

magnus-king123 asked: Your thoughts on Superman & the authority Give it to me...lol

Anonymous asked: Seeing Bezos take his little trip into space the same day Morrison puts out a Superman comic that touches on how far we’ve fallen from the days when we dreamed of utopian futures where everyone explored the stars was a big gut punch. Not used to Superman being topical in that way.

Anonymous asked: What'd you think of Superman and the Authority#1?

This is far beyond what I can fit in the normal weekly reviews, so taking this as my notes on the first six pages, with this and this as my major lead-in thoughts:

* Janin's such a perfect fit for Morrison - the scale, the power, the facial expressions selling the character work, the screwing around with the panel formatting as necessary to sell the effect, the numinous sense of things going on larger than you can fully perceive amidst the beauty and chaos. It's a shame he wasn't around 25 years ago to draw JLA, but I'll take him going with Morrison onto other future projects.

* His intro action sequence is such a great demonstration of why Black actually does have something to offer, and also how he's such a dumbass desperately needing Superman to save him from himself.

* While Jordie Bellaire didn't legit go with an entirely monochromatic palate the way early previews suggested, it's still an effect frequently and excellently deployed here. And glad to see Steve Wands carry into this from Blackstars since there's such an obvious carryover from its work with Superman.

* "Gentlemen. Ladies. Others." Great both because of the obvious - hey, Superman's nodding at me! - and because it's a phrasing that reinforces that this take on him (and let's be real Morrison) is old as hell.

* I'm mostly past caring about whether this is an alt-Earth Superman until it becomes indisputable one way or another, this and Action both rule so what does it really matter? But while there are still a couple signs in play suggesting some kind of division (the Action Comics #1036 cover, Midnighter up to time-travel shenanigans) the "lost in time" quote clearly thrown in after the fact to explain how he could have met Kennedy outside of 5G that wouldn't be necessary for an Elseworlds, the assorted gestures towards Superman's current status quo, the Kingdom Come symbol appearing in Action, and that Morrison would have had to completely rewrite the ending if this wasn't supposed to be 'the' version of Clark Kent going forward as was the intent when they first planned it all say to me that no, no fooling around, this is our guy going forward one way or another.

* Janin and Bellaire making the first version of the crystal Fortress ever that actually looks as cool as you want it to.

Anonymous asked: I like that Superman and The Authority is basically the anti-All-Star; instead of the laid back, immortal Superman who is supercharged, we have a stressed, ageing Superman whose tremendous powers are fading. The former will always be there to save us, but the latter is running out of time and needs to pull off a Hail Mary. Also, he mentions in his monologue to Black that he was "lost in time" when he met JFK, so maybe he is the main continuity Clark. Or he's the t-shirt Supes from Sideways.

* You're absolutely right - the power reversal is obvious and the ticking clock in play seemingly isn't for his own survival but everyone around him as he wakes up and realizes all the old icons grew complacent with the gains they'd made and he's not leaving behind the world he meant to. Both, however, are built on the idea of preparing the world to not need them anymore - it'll still have a Superman in his son, but that'll only work because of the others he empowers and inspires. The question is what happens to Clark if he's not going to live in the sun for 83000 years.

* Clark's 'exercise' here does more to sell me on the idea of Old Man Superman as a cool idea than however many decades of Earth 2 stuff.

* Intergang being noted alongside Darkseid and Doomsday speaks to how much Kirby informed Morrison's conception of Superman.

* This isn't exactly the most progressive in its disability politics but at least it makes clear Black's being a piece of shit about it.

* It's startling how much Clark can get away with saying stuff in here you'd never expect to come out of Superman's mouth. "I made an executive decision" "Privacy, really...?" "You have nowhere to go, Black. Nothing to live for." "There are few people in my life who I instinctively and viscerally dislike, and you've always been one of them." It only works because there's zero aggression behind it, he's just past the point of niceties and being totally frank while making clear none of these assessments preclude that he cares and is going to unconditionally do the right thing every time. He is absolutely, per Morrison, humanity's dad picking us up when we're too drunk to drive ourselves home.

* The story doesn't put a big flashing light over it, but it's not even a little bit subtle having the material threat of the issue be a ticking timebomb left by the carelessness and hubris of generations past.

* Manchester keeps trying to poke the bear and prove his hot takes about Superman and it's just not working. The front he put up under Kelley is gone after decades of defeats, and as Morrison understands what actually conceptually works about him as a rival to Superman underneath the aging nerd paranoia he's exposed as what he absolutely would be in 2021: a dude with a horrific terminal case of Twitter brainworms. I was PANICKED when I heard there was an 'offensive term' joke in this, I was braced for Morrison at their well-meaning worst, but it's such a goddamn perfect encapsulation of a very specific breed of Twitter leftist who uses their politics first and foremost as a cudgel and justification to label their abrasive, judgmental shittiness as self-righteousness (plus it's a killer payoff to a joke from way back in his original appearance). Cannot believe they pulled that off when they're so very, very open about basically not knowing how the internet works.

* @charlottefinn: Manchester Black using his telekinetic powers to force someone he hates to fave a problematic tweet so that he can screenshot it and start a dogpile

@intergalactic-zoo: “Once they cancel Bibbo, Superman won’t be *anyone’s* fav’rit anymore!”

* Friend noted this issue had to be fully the conversation because the whole premise stands on the house of cards of these two somehow working together, and with three 'silent' inset panels the creative team pulls off that turning point.

* So much of this feels on the surface like Morrison bringing back the All-Star vibes with Clark, but when he drops a "That's all you got?" in a brawl you realize what's underlining that bluntness and confidence in the face of failure is that deep down this is still the Action guy too. This dude ain't gonna get wrecked in his Fortress while the other guy chuckles about him being A SOFT WEE SCIENTIST'S SON!

* Bringing up Jor-El made me realize that Morrison already spelled out that this is the final threat to Superman, what he faces at the end of the road:

"Now it's your turn, Superman."

* A l'il Superman 2000/All-Star reference with the Phantom Zone map!

* There's so much intertextuality going on here even by Morrison standards - Change or Die with the old hero putting together a team of morally nebulous folks out to 'fix' everything, Flex Mentallo with the muscleman trying to redeem the punk, Doomsday Clock with the fate of the world hinging on whether Superman can get through to a meta stand-in for an idea of 'modern' comics cynicism, DKR and New Frontier and Kingdom Come and Multiversity and Seven Soldiers and What's So Funny and All-Star and Action and the last 5 years of monthly Superman comics and Authority and probably Jupiter's Legacy and Tom Strong - but none of that's needed. You could go in with the baseline pop cultural understanding of the character and not care about any of the inside baseball shit and get that this is a story about a leader of a generation that let down the people they made all their grand promises to as inertia and day-to-day demands and complacency let him be satisfied with the accomplishments they'd made long ago, looking at a new era and seeing the ways its own activists are dropping the ball. The only thing that fundamentally matters in a "you have to accept you're reading a superhero story" sense is that because he's Superman he's willing to own up to it and listen to people who might know better about some things and try to set things right while he and those who'll take his place still have a chance. And yes, the oldster looking back on their legacy with a skeptical eye and hoping for better from the next generation, hoping most of all that their little heir apparent can fulfill the promise inside of him instead of being a provocating little shitkicker, is obviously also autobiographical.

* The overlaying Kennedy reprisal is such a great visual of a sudden intrusive thought.

* The Kryptonite secret is the obvious "This is going to matter!" moment, but "He lied about his son" is a bit that doesn't connect to anything going on right now so maybe that's important here too? More significantly, the Justice League can't actually be the villains here but that Ultra-Humanite's crew are in an Earth-orbiting satellite makes pretty clear what's up.

* I've said before that between Superman, OMAC, and a New Gods-affiliated speedster this was going to use all of Morrison's favorite things. King Arthur playing a role isn't exactly dissuading me.

* Love the idea that all the antiheroes have their own community in the same way as the capes and tights crew. They definitely all privately think the rest are posers though and that they alone are Garth Ennis Punisher in a mob of Garth Ennis Wolverines.

* Manchester's fallen so far he's gone from trying to convince Superman to kill to convince him to dunk on people for their bad takes and Clark just doesn't get it. Official prediction of dialogue for upcoming issues:

"According to these bloody Fortress scans, the only thing that can restore your powers is an unfiltered hit of dopamine. Don't worry, Doctor Black has a few ideas."

"Hmm. Maybe I'll plant a nice tree?"

"...fuck you."

* Ok I already talked about how great the Fortress looks in here but LOVE this library.

* A pair of pages this seems like the right spot to discuss from Black's original appearance that underlines both his and Superman's inadequacies up to this point:

Responding to the problem of "the government and penal system are hopelessly corrupt" neither of them has any actual notion of what to do about it in spite of their respective posturing beyond how to handle individual outside actors - each is in their own way every bit as small-minded and reactionary as the other. Clark's coming around though, and he's holding out hope for the other guy.

* Superman: Have a lovely mineral water :) proper hydration is important :)

Manchester Black: *Is a dude who can get so mad he vomits and passes out. At water.*

* That last page is the one to beat for the year, and does more to put over the idea of this as an Authority book than that Midnighter and Apollo are literally going to show up. It also feels like Morrison tacitly acknowledging all the ways the premise could go or at least be received wrong - from Superman saying 'enough is enough' to who he's bringing into the fold to go about it - in the most beautifully on-the-nose fashion imaginable. Maybe they'll save us all! Or maybe they'll drown us in their vomit.