#I had to paste this in in several sections and then mess with the formatting just to fit it all

[queer-in-a-cornfield]

@story-blossom I’m your @duckblr-secret-santa! Sorry you’re getting your gift a little late, sickness, celebrations, and adhd were conspiring against me lol

Anyway, the gift! In the episode Quack Pack!, I’ve always gotten the implication that other episodes have taken place in that universe that we don’t ever see, so I decided to write one! It takes place in a DT season 1 equivalent, so Della is nowhere to be found and Lena is under Magica’s control. But it’s still Quack Pack of course, so silly shenanigans and laugh tracks abound. (Also tumblr made the formatting a little wonky but I’ll try and fix it up when I post it to AO3)

Story under the cut!

[Fade In]

[Int: McDuck Manor Foyer. Lena is standing by the front door gathering her things after a sleepover, with Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Webby standing a few feet back. The boys are clumped together while Webby is stood slightly closer to Lena.]

Lena: Thanks for letting me stay the night, guys!

[She turns to pick up her backpack, which is open and showing a magic trick box set.]

Dewey: Oooh, what’s that?

[He points at the box.]

Lena: Oh, uh… I’ve just been… teaching myself some magic tricks. Yeah, magic tricks.

Webby: Ooh, can you show us some?

[Lena fidgets nervously but plays along with it.]

Lena: Uh, okay…. What do you want to see?

[She grabs the box out of her backpack.]

Dewey: Oh, Y’know what would be so cool? You should give us wings!

Huey: Dewey, I don’t think that’s what she means by magic tricks-

Louie: No, no, let’s let him be delusional.

[The audience chuckles.]

Lena: I can totally do that… if that’s what you want.

Dewey: Wing it on!

[He winks at the camera, and the audience laughs.]

[Lena pulls out a basic, cheap-looking black and white wand from the box.]

Lena: Here goes…

[She waves the wand around in a circle once, then twice. Unbeknownst to the rest of the cast, her amulet necklace starts glowing. The wand circles a third time, and she thrusts it forward towards Dewey and his brothers, producing a bright purple beam of magic.]

[Dewey sticks his arms out, as though he is accepting the magic.]

Dewey: Sha-Dewey!

[The audience laughs at the catchphrase as the beam strikes the triplets, creating a large poof of purple smoke obscuring the camera.]

[When the smoke clears, Huey, Dewey, and Louie have become fairies and are now barely visible due to their size. Lena and Webby both stare at the boys, shocked.]

Lena: Uhhhh… bye!

[She quickly turns and runs out the door. The audience laughs and the theme song begins.]

—

[The theme song ends and we go back to the foyer with Webby staring at Huey, Dewey, and Louie.]

Dewey: … I can’t believe that worked!

Louie: Nice going, Dingus, getting us stuck like this.

Webby:Are you guys alright?

Huey: Yeah, surprisingly so, considering we just grew two entirely new appendages out of our backs.

Dewey: I think you mean… Appendewges!

[The audience laughs.]

Huey and Louie: Shut up, Dewey.

[They both smack him on the back of the head, sending him spinning forward in the air and making the audience laugh harder.]

[Webby holds her hand out, inviting the boys to land on her palm, which they do.]

Webby: I can’t believe you guys are actually, like, fairies now! What’s it like?

Dewey: Oh my gosh, it’s so cool!

[As he says this, he flutters up into the air and does a floating backflip before landing again.]

I can fly, and my wings are so pretty!

[He wiggles his wings back and forth to show off the translucent blue patterns on them and the shimmering silvery fairy dust coming from them. The audience oohs at the sight.]

Huey: While I wouldn’t go as far as saying it’s cool, it is fascinating how our bodies automatically adjusted to the change in height and shift to our centers of balance due to the wings on our backs.

[He loses his balance as he says the last line.]

Okay, maybe we haven’t totally adjusted.

[The audience laughs.]

Louie: The wings put massive rips in my favorite hoodie, so I’m not a fan.

[The audience laughs. His wings twitch, causing some gold fairy dust to come off of them.]

Ooh, the gold is nice, though.

Webby: If you’re actually fairies now, I wonder if you guys have any other abilities. In a lot of folklores, fairies were mischievous spirits that had all sorts of abilities they could use to play tricks on people.

[Dewey’s eyes light up.]

Dewey: Say less!

[He makes a comically intense face of concentration before his tail suddenly turns into that of a tiger, which he swishes back and forth excitedly.]

[The audience oohs and then applauds, while Louie chuckles, then smirks.]

Louie: You should totally try turning it into a snake next.

[As though under a trance, Dewey’s expression drops and his tiger’s tail instantly morphs into the head of a snake. It turns around and hisses at him as he snaps out of the trance, causing him to jump up and try and run in a circle away from the snake. The audience laughs hard.]

[Huey rolls his eyes and mutters to himself.]

Huey: Get me away from these lunatics.

[The camera cuts to a more zoomed out shot from above where we can see Webby looking down at the action in her palm.]

Webby: Huey? Where’d you go?

[The camera cuts back to an empty shot of where Huey was on Webby’s palm.]

Huey: What? I’m right here.

Webby: I can’t see you at all though…

Huey: I know I’m short now, but I’m not that short!

[The audience laughs.]

[The camera cuts back to Louie and Dewey, who we can see is still being terrorized by his tail in the background.]

Louie: Wait, Huey- flutter your wings.

[The camera cuts back to the empty shot, where some shimmery bronze fairy dust appears seemingly from nowhere.]

Webby: Oh my gosh, Huey! You’re invisible!

Huey: I- I am? I can still see myself! How do I change back??

Webby: We should ask the rest of the family what to do. I’m sure they’ll know how to help!

[As Webby finishes speaking, Uncle Scrooge walks into the room.]

Scrooge: Aye, Webby darlin’, I heard you were wanting ma help?

[The audience cheers wildly when he speaks.]

Webby: Yeah, Uncle Scrooge! Huey, Dewey, and Louie got turned into fairies and I don’t know how to help them!

Scrooge: Bless me bagpipes, that is serious! We need to get going right away… to the library!

[The crowd laughs and cheers as the scene transitions to…]

[Int: Library interior. Scrooge is standing at the head of a table surrounded by bookshelves. Standing behind the chair closest to him on the right side of the table is Webby. Also standing around the table are Donald and Mrs. Beakley.]

Scrooge: Alright everybody, we’ve got a lot of work to do to help the boys, so let’s get moving! Go, go, go!

[A research montage begins with the characters pulling books off shelves, flipping through pages, and consulting library signs to a detective movie style remix of the series theme song. Donald drops a comically large stack of books on his head, making the audience laugh. The montage ends with a camera shot set up in the space between two books, and Mrs. Beakley shoves a book back into the space on the button of the music. As the screen goes dark, the scene snaps back to…]

[Int: McDuck Manor Foyer. Huey, Dewey, and Louie remain floating about where they were before. Louie is laid back in the air as though he’s relaxing on a lounge chair, Huey has successfully become visible again and is stood hovering near Louie, and Dewey has just now gotten his tail back to normal and plods over to his brothers and sits on the air, breathing heavily.]

Dewey: Never (inhale) do that (inhale) to me (inhale) again (inhale).

Louie: It was funny though.

[He smirks at the camera and the audience laughs and some swoon.]

[Huey sits down as well.]

Huey: How did Webby describe fairies again? We’re trickster spirits, right?

Louie: I can see why, with all these powers.

Dewey: Y’know I’ve missed playing pranks on people.

Huey: We have been pretty busy lately…

[Louie stands up and holds his hand out towards Huey and Dewey.]

Louie: Then whaddaya say we take advantage of all this fairy stuff while we have it?

[Huey and Dewey glance at each other, then smirk and grab Louie’s hand. The audience cheers.]

[The camera cuts to a more zoomed out shot of the foyer, where we can see Huey, Dewey, and Louie all flying off screen as the audience continues cheering. The scene shifts to…]

[Int: Garage. Launchpad is going about setting up instruments for the Crash Happies’ rehearsal.]

Launchpad: Oooookay! There’s the drum set.

[Huey, Dewey, and Louie fly up to a cracked open window visible on the far left of the shot. They giggle between themselves then slip into the room one by one.]

[Huey lands on the cymbal of the drumset and turns invisible. The camera cuts back to a shot of the full room with Launchpad as Huey begins to dance on the cymbal, making it rattle “inexplicably”.]

[Launchpad turns around in confusion.]

Launchpad: Bwuh?

[Dewey and Louie then fly up to Launchpad’s ear. Louie puts on a deep voice and begins incomprehensibly whispering in his ear while Dewey watches.]

Launchpad: Ah! Who are you?! Show yourself!

[He flails around in a panic.]

[The camera cuts to Dewey, who flies over from Louie to the cymbal with Huey. He turns invisible as well, and they begin to jump back and forth on it, almost like a seesaw. In the background, Launchpad continues to freak out.]

Launchpad: I haven’t even crashed into anything cursed yet today!

[The camera cuts back to a shot of the full room. Launchpad is laying in the fetal position on the ground with his expression comically terrified. The cymbal of the drum continues to rattle back and forth.]

Launchpad: Ahhh!!!

[The door to the garage opens, revealing the rest of the Crash Happies.]

Crash Happy Drummer: Launchpad?

[The audience laughs, cheers, and applauds as the ad break begins.]

[Fade Out]

—

[Fade In]

Disembodied Voice: Consumer Alert! Did you know that if you have been exposed to any of these Glomgold Industries products, including Glomgold Signature Plaid Paint, Glomgold Foods Haggis, and the Junior Glomchucks Glombook, you may be entitled to financial compensation?

[A long list of Glomgold branded products scrolls across the screen.]

Disembodied Voice: These Glomgold Industries products have been found to contain high levels of dangerous materials including toxic pesticides, asbestos, and plutonium. Call this number today to see if you qualify for compensation!

[A phone number flashes on screen, as well as a line of text reading “Announcement paid for by Calisota Anti-Glomgold Society” and a photo of Glomgold in a devil suit.]

[Fade Out]

—

[Fade In]

[Int: Library. Scrooge, Beakley, Webby, and Donald are around a table at the library, surrounded by tall piles of books, scouring through them for a cure for Huey, Dewey, and Louie’s fairy transformations.]

Scrooge: (Very loudly) AHA! I’VE GOT IT!

[He excitedly slams the book he’s reading down onto the table.]

Librarian: (Offscreen) Shhh!!!

Scrooge: (Whispered) Aha! I’ve got it!

[He slams the book down again quietly. The audience laughs.]

[Webby, Donald, and Beakley gather around the book to see what Scrooge found.]

Scrooge: The boys would have to agree to this, but we should be able to turn them back by having them relinquish their fairy dust.

Donald: Well, what are we waiting for?! Let’s get back to the mansion!

[He throws his hands up and accidentally knocks over one of the piles of books, causing several books to hit him on the head. The audience laughs.]

Librarian: (Offscreen) Shhhh!!!!

Scrooge: (To librarian) Sorry! (To family) Let’s go.

[The shot does a sliding transition to…]

[Int: McDuck Manor Foyer. Scrooge, Donald, Beakley, and Webby stand just inside the front door on the far left of the shot showing an empty foyer.]

Beakley: … Aaaaand they’ve disappeared.

Donald: (Panicking) How could this happen?!

Beakley: Well, fairies are famously mischievous spirits…

Webby: … And with Huey, Dewey, and Louie’s love of pranks…

Scrooge: … There’s every likelihood that they’re off somewhere causing chaos.

[Donald faints from stress and hits the floor with a thud, making the audience laugh.]

[Scrooge bends down to pick Donald up.]

Beakley: Well, if they’re not here, we’re going to need to lure them to us. What attracts a fairy?

Webby: Fairies usually are drawn to sugary foods and shiny objects. They also typically avoid urban, polluted areas, but since Huey, Dewey, and Louie aren’t normal fairies they might not have any issue with that.

[A beat of silence.]

Scrooge: Curse me kilts, how did you learn all that, Webby?

Webby: Uhh… cute girl stuff?

[The audience laughs and cheers at her catchphrase and Scrooge and Beakley shrug and accept her response.]

Donald: (Drowsily) Funso’s.

[The others all stare at him, confused]

Donald: Put all that stuff in Funso’s and I don’t think the boys would be able to resist.

[They all share a look of agreement and the camera cuts to…]

[Int: The marina. Huey, Dewey, and Louie are flying around messing with people on the boardwalk.]

[Dewey suddenly stops in the air.]

Dewey: Guys, wait… we should go to Funso’s.

[Huey and Louie also stop.]

Huey: Actually yeah, that sounds really good.

Louie: (Getting more and more and more giddy as he speaks) And with this size I could practically swim in Pep!. Let’s do it!

[They quickly fly the short distance from the boardwalk to Funso’s. They enter the building and are greeted by their family standing around a circle of Pep!, candy, and gold coins.]

Webby: I told you guys it would work!

Donald: Boys! We found a way to turn you back to normal!

[Huey, Dewey, and Louie exchange a hesitant look]

Dewey: What if… we don’t want to?

Huey: Yeah…, as weird as it’s been to be fairies, it’s also been a lot of fun.

Louie: What they said.

[A brief, tense silence occurs, the camera framing the scene to look like a standoff between Huey, Dewey, and Louie, and their family.]

Scrooge: Ay, boys, I know it may be a lot of fun to be fairies right now. And trust me, I’ve dealt with many magical shenanigans like this in my years, the fun never lasts. It’s always more worth it to keep the brief fun memories than to have them tainted by getting bored or suffering the consequences of your own magic.

[Huey, Dewey, and Louie exchange another look.]

Huey: Okay. What do we need to do?

Beakley: (Pulling out three vials from behind her back) Just shake some of your fairy dust into these vials. Once we close them up, the rest of the fairy dust should remove itself from your systems, turning you back to normal.

[The boys fly up to Beakley. Huey flutters forward, and Beakley holds out the first vial. He shakes some fairy dust into the vial’s mouth, then goes back to his brothers. Beakley holds out the next vial, and Dewey does the same thing. Louie flutters up to the last vial, but pauses.]

Louie: Wait! Can I do one last thing before we do this?

[The camera cuts to a shot of Louie swimming around in a cup of Pep!. The audience laughs loudly.]

Louie: Aaaaah… it’s better than I ever dreamed!

Donald: Come on, Louie.

Louie: Alright, alright.

[The camera cuts back to the shot from before. Louie flutters back to the vial and shakes some of his fairy dust inside as well.]

Louie: (To Huey and Dewey) Well, it’s been real.

Dewey: Indewbitably!

Huey and Louie: Shut up, Dewey.

[As Huey and Louie smack the back of Dewey’s head, Beakley corks the three vials, and a poof of purple smoke obscures the camera. When the smoke clears, Huey, Dewey, and Louie are sitting on the floor, drowsily leaning on each other, no longer fairies.]

Donald: Boys!

[He runs up and bear hugs them, picking them up off the floor.]

Louie: (Feeling his hoodie’s fabric wet with Pep! and touching the tears in its back) Eugh, my hoodie’s ruined!

[Dewey takes a step forward but stumbles, and grabs Huey’s shoulder to catch himself, startling Huey and nearly pulling them both down. The audience laughs.]

Dewey: Gosh, I’m tired.

Webby: You guys probably overexerted yourselves while you were fairies. You might’ve had the energy for all that flying and magic then, but your normal bodies don’t.

Beakley: Let’s get you three home and changed, and you can sleep.

[She hands the boys each their vials, now full to the top with their respective fairy dusts.]

Louie: I cannot get to bed fast enough!

Huey and Dewey: Ditto.

[The door to Funso’s closes behind the family as they exit. The audience cheers for the happy ending.]

[Fade Out]

—

[Int: Garage. Launchpad is now putting everything away after the Crash Happies have left rehearsal. The scene quickly shrinks to a small window so the credits can roll.]

Launchpad: (Seeing the scene shrink) Aaah! The ghosts are back! And they shrunk the room!

[Launchpad promptly drops back to fetal position on the floor.]

Launchpad: (Screaming) MR. MCDUCK!!! YOUR GARAGE IS HAUNTED!!!!

[A beat of silence.]

Scrooge: (Muffled, in the distance) What?

[Fade Out]

[tomnookishot]

listen i was always very much under the opinion that although i have come to enjoy danganronpa, i recognise that it really isn’t the best storywise (the premise is compelling but the storytelling nearly always fucks up the execution in some aspects/lacks the necessary care and skill to pull parts off to their fullest potential) and a fully story-centred anime series, that because of its format has to keep concise and lack the filler and fluff that makes the games fun, is going to feel different and maybe not live up to what i wanted because the medium shift will always lose some of the appeal and quality of the original. that being said, i’m disappointed in the anime's execution of the story beats and sad it didn’t really match my expectations besides just the fact that it's not the best medium for dangabronpba

like low-key the future arc was incredibly boring and nearly every episode i was just waiting for it to end so i could get to the next despair arc episode, however i honestly mostly picked up the show FOR the despair arc so my wants obviously influenced my opinion there. but when people in the comment section of the sdr2 let’s play i was watching talked about how the show explained how the other students became the remnants of despair, and that chiaki had this super tragic death from before the island, and reading the wiki to figure out who mikan’s “beloved” was spoiled the fact that junko enoshima was the only person who’d ever been kind to her thus causing mikan to be willing to do anything for her, the story that started forming in my head was that each of the students came from a bad background or were already somewhat messed up/vulnerable people, and them all spending time together caused a really strong, unbreakable bond to form but made everyone’s toxicities begin to tangle and mesh. when watching the ending of the game, i despairingly (hahahaha yeah fuck you.) wondered to myself about how each character might’ve been able to give in to despair and how that could’ve made sense under the right conditions. i figured that they would’ve already been unstable yet kind and full of goodwill, but junko would’ve preyed upon their insecurities and unfulfilled needs to, one by one, take them in and make them her minions or whatever. and chiaki, who i’d heard was their class rep that everyone trusted and respected so much that she was chosen to be the npc that guided everyone through the virtual world, would’ve had to watch from the sidelines and slowly piece together that all of her friends were becoming vessels for despair, and would’ve ultimately been sacrificed alone in some tragic way as the final catalyst for the end.

so imagine my confusion several episodes in to find every character is just. nice. they’re all good people. they’re all hopeful. they care about each other. they’re true friends. nobody's sad backstories are even mentioned or referenced in the anime. all evidence from before the most tragic most awful most batshit crazy event in human history points to them being the symbols of hope they were all hyped up to be, never giving any sign of a desire or need to give into despair. and in the end they still didn’t. they were simply brainwashed into being junko’s proxies. it feels like it completely negates all of the surprise and upset that learning the characters were the remnants of despair caused. oh. so they weren’t actually bad people in their past lives. they were literally just brainwashed. they did not have control over their actions. the crushing reveal that the characters i’d come to love had all had the potential to become the worst villains alive suddenly falls terribly flat. and the whole plan of making the kids live out a collective dream in paradise together to make them come back to their senses and realise that life is worth living and renounce their ways as being despair dudes feels. like. stupid now?? because it’s no longer that they didn’t have a normal high school experience and are now receiving the opportunity to learn what a normal life might look like and how to healthily deal with their trauma, instead all of it is just some convoluted attempt to reverse brainwashing i guess?

do you understand what i mean? like, it just feels like wasted potential. i wanted an explanation. i wanted to see how grief and fear and naivety and inferiority twisted all of these characters into becoming junko’s followers. i was going to be sad watching it, but i wanted rationale for how gundam or nekomaru, who fought for hope until the end, could’ve been torn down and manipulated into Despair. i wanted to see how mikan or akane or imposter guy’s pasts with harassment was used by junko to turn them onto the path of Despair. i wanted to watch fuyuhiko or hiyoko’s natural flaws, including both their rudeness and their insecurities, be exploited and belittled (and for them to maybe get put in their place a lil bit by junko’s criticisms) to the point where they decided to fight on the side of Despair. etc. etc… but most of all i wanted to see chiaki’s response to this. i really wanted to see her stretch her empathy and care to her friends the entire time, being their #1 cheerleader or stability no matter what happened, not realising until it was too late that each and every one of them had changed irrevocably for the worse.

and i think that this circles back to how junko enoshima kind of flops as a villain. yes she is camp and bitchy and it’s okay to just have a silly evil guy who’s evil for the sake of being evil, but when you’re trying to make a story where every character has some sort of significance and is supposed to be really deep, making the main guy who Fucks It All Up empty and one-dimensional, not actually putting any thought into why a campy villain would be able to amass so much power, causes this chain reaction of Whoopsies All of the Bad Stuff That Happens Has No Depth or Realness or Compelling Anything. if junko was really this great mastermind, it would’ve been SO interesting to watch her charisma and manipulation tactics at play. i would’ve felt so conflicted, watching her mess with everybody’s heads and paint herself as a saviour to the broken people of the world like her followers always described her as, and realising that in one of their positions anyone could’ve been used and manipulated into dedicating themself to her cause. maybe junko would’ve tried really hard to get chiaki to listen to her so that chiaki could MLM the rest of the class into the plan, but every time she would shut junko down politely because she really does trust her classmates, her first friends, and because she believes in hope, and in the end junko realises that the best way to use chiaki is to kill her off so that they who looked up to her are so filled with grief that they’re forced to listen to the next natural leader.

a plot like this would’ve not only added to the depth of all of the characters from the second game in a satisfying, sympathetic, and logical way, but also would’ve given the chance to expand on what makes junko so enamouring and powerful.

but instead they just used the crowd-favourite deus ex machina “oops literally everybody on the planet get brainwashed that’s why they’re eveil teehee :)” so yay

[artgr5200journal]

06_journal

While I chose recorded audio with a focus on vinyl records, my partner chose television and streaming services. There are several similarities between these two media, as well as a few key differences. Both of our chosen subjects were the predominant format of their respective media during their peak, with records being the primary form of recorded audio until cassettes and then later CD’s, and television being the primary form of mass video communication until the internet. Both of these media played a pivotal role in defining conventions, with records defining song and album length, and television establishing serialized episode-based shows as well as the 24-hour news cycle. As mentioned before, records were usurped as the go-to audio format, but maintains relevance as a form of physical media. With television, it seems to become more and more obsolete with each passing year, without much to offer over its more recent contemporaries. Despite this, the conventions it established are still observed and largely followed by streaming platforms. 

We both followed a similar presentation structure, providing some chronological historical context before going into some of the specific aspects of our respective media. My partner used a greater number of direct quotations and statistics, while I used broader historical trends to present my argument. We both talked at length about how our formats altered both the way our media has been produced, and the way it has been consumed. My partner had a more defined pros and cons section of their presentation, listing the drawbacks of both formats. Once such consideration was price, which was an aspect that also applies to records that I omitted from my presentation. I discussed records’ influence on culture, particularly relating to counterculture. My partner discussed how viewer behavior had changed thanks to streaming, but didn’t touch on any of the cultural aspects that television redefined or introduced. 

While I made significant use of image pairs to demonstrate contrasting or similar relationships between concepts, my partner focused more on charts and data visualization. Most if not all of my images had a direct connection to the specific content being discussed during the accompanying excerpt. My partner also used this technique, but some images were representative of the broader topic rather than a specific aspect of it. I did some messing with the size and spatial relationship between some images in order to convey/reflect an idea, while my partner limited each slide to a single image. Those single images, however, often used visual representation techniques within them. I used historical photography to a greater extent in my slideshow, providing some direct examples of topics I discussed. My partner used newer images, as they were discussing a newer medium. Some historical photography of old television was used, but most images were representative of the past three decades. 

[cinnamonest]

So yes, hello all, I am alive and well, just swamped over the past week with work + several events to attend, but I'm back now! I've been working an 8-6 now for a few weeks, so my posting probably has shifted/will shift to a bit later in the evening like this.

Some updates: I changed the masterlist format. It was taking up a bit of space so basically I made character sections and put their profiles and character tags under each one rather than having separate sections for those. I added some things to it but I'm still working on combing my archives and adding more, and I'm still not done changing the layout either so it's not 100% complete yet, but the changes are there. The name banners are placeholders.

Which brings me to another matter: for anyone into this sort of thing, has anyone else had trouble getting Tumblr to recognize custom CSS/html, or have any good tutorials on Tumblr CSS/html editing in the custom CSS page? I have some python experience so I can understand tutorials that use the basic jargon without needing that explained but I've never done anything in html 😅

I tried to create the equivalent of a python custom style/class to call so I don't have to type the same things over and over, but Tumblr is not recognizing it when I edit further. All I'm trying to work with is text and design, which I realize sounds really simple for people who know that stuff, but it's not working for me, so I'm probably messing up something 😅 any pages or blogs or videos on the matter would be much appreciated!

[micheswife]

Confessions

MICHE ZACHARIAS X SHY CADET

Miche finally tells his crush he likes her. That's it

Miche watched her from Erwin’s office as she left the headquarters to enjoy a well-deserved break. The evening sun highlighted her brunette curls, stopping just below her delicate shoulders. It was a shame really, her hair used to touch her waist when she first joined. She was so incredibly shy and anxious back then, struggling to find her place among younger people that were much stronger than her. He remembered back when she declined the promotion for the sake of her happiness. It had been 3 years since y/n joined the survey corps at the age of 20. She was a late beginner, but her analytical skills, a fateful emotional meltdown and a background in research had soon gotten her a place under section commander Hange. Y/n was not good as a fighter, but she was observant, more than Erwin and Hange. Miche could not help but notice her, she was cute after all. She had flaws, just like everyone else, but the veteran soldier was drawn to her in particular. He couldn’t remember when he felt like that for the first time. Maybe it was when he saw her for the first time, clutching a soiled handwritten application and trying her hardest to put on a brave face. Who knows? Who cares? The important part was that he liked her, she did not know and he was not going to tell.

“What are you looking at Miche? “

“N-nothing, Erwin. Go on…”

Miche went back to focusing on the meeting. y/n had already disappeared in the next lane, so there was no point looking outside. The meeting would go on for hours, as usual, veterans had no holidays.

Meanwhile, y/n made herself comfortable near the quiet riverbank. It was one of the few attractions in the little land of Paradis, especially after the fall of Wall Maria. The serene river glowed red under the now darkening sun rays. Y/n had about 30 minutes to draw something, after which it would get too dark. Problem was, y/n had no idea what to draw. So she just sat there, wondering about her life. It seemed self-indulgent to refuse work only to get out and ponder about herself, but she needed it. The chaos inside the headquarters hardly did her any good. She wanted quiet and peace, but what she had right now was just pure loneliness. Y/n had friends, but nobody close or free enough to sit under the open night sky. So she sat all alone over the wall, the cold breeze ruffling her hair. If only there were someone to hold her.

“Bottomline, all of you must prepare your squads for next month’s expedition. We can’t afford to compromise manpower. Pay attention to the weak members, we need them to come back alive. You all are dismissed.”

Miche walked out of Erwin’s office and went straight to his room that he shared with Dieter, another squad leader. He felt tired, as though he knew what was about to come. A lot of action and a shit ton of casualties, not to forget all the rigorous training he was about to deliver on the cadets.

“What a long day..”

“Tomorrow’s going to be longer, Ness.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think you will make it through the expedition?”

Miche scrunched his nose at the odd yet totally reasonable question. Him and Dieter served the scout regiment since their teenage years, yet they never quite got used to the anxiety before impending doom. Against his overbearing stress, Miche gave him a positive answer hoping to lift his spirits.

“I will make it out alive, Ness. The most damage I will end up with is a lost limb, after which I will retire and live a peaceful life. Don’t worry.” Miche finished with his signature scoff, masking his true emotions. The shameless, pretentious display of cockiness was all worth the little chuckle from Ness, the most sociable, tender man among veterans.

They made their way to the dining hall after chit chatting and freshening up. Their tables had the usual serving of bread, soup and vegetables. His eyes scanned the place for the owner of those beautiful, crazy curls, y/n, she should have been back by now. He couldn’t see her anywhere. Usually it was so easy to spot her in her corner seat. Perhaps Hange assigned her some work, but he couldn’t risk revealing his crush by asking the overly-energetic squad leader. So he quietly finished his plate, feeling just a little hint of emptiness because he missed y/n.

“Nifa, find y/n and tell her I want her in the lab tomorrow at 6am sharp.” Mike overheard Hange speaking from a couple of tables away.

“Yes captain.” Nifa quickly finished her meal and left the dining hall and eventually the headquarters. Her face made it clear that she had done this several times now and Miche was not surprised. Y/n was often in her own head and stayed out for a long time. Miche just found it unusual for her to stay out this late. It was cold outside, no person in their right mind would stay out past 8pm. He wished he knew what was going on inside the girl’s head that made her personality so withdrawn, but he did not have the time. He needed to draft a schedule for this week’s training and tests for the cadets. Just the thought of sitting in an office doing paperwork with a candlelight flickering throughout the night made him feel calm. He was extremely skilled on the field, but he liked doing paperwork too. His studious side was something only his immediate squad and other veterans were familiar with. Sometimes he couldn’t help fantasizing about sharing his study with y/n. Aside from his feelings, y/n had the brains to draft a perfect test that tapped into all the necessary skills for the next expedition. After all, that was what she had been doing before joining the survey corps, albeit in a different field. Miche stopped in his tracks as an idea struck him. He felt dumb, so dumb. He had drafted so many tests, all by himself, fully knowing that there was someone that could probably do it better than him. Fully knowing that y/n had been a psychology student, and she had perfected the theory subjects after joining the survey corps. He turned around and approached Hange.

“Would you mind if I borrow one of your soldiers for a while?”

“That depends, Miche, who are you talking about?”

“Y/n, I need her help drafting the tests tonight. I think she can do a good job.”

“You are right.. I’ll let her know.”

“Tell her to be in my office by 9;30 tonight.”

Miche left for his office to begin work, he wanted to finish as much as he could before y/n showed up. Because work was not the only thing he was concerned about. He knew exactly what he was doing, it was dubious, but he needed to do it. It was funny how a few hours ago he thought he’d never confess his feelings, but later created an opportunity to do that exact thing. He couldn’t believe himself.

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It was 9;30 sharp, and Miche heard a soft knock on his office door.

“Come in, it’s unlocked, and take a seat before me.” He said without lifting his head.

Y/n made herself comfortable and glanced over three open books and a single page. Miche was writing down questions.

“Alright y/n, I need your help drafting the question papers for tomorrow’s tests. Of course, you will be exempted from actually taking the test as a reward.”

“Understood, sir”

“Good, now I want you to create 30 questions that combine the concepts of formations, weaponry and strategy. Make them difficult, and make sure to base it upon the last 5 expeditions.”

“Alright-”

“You have 2 hours to finish this.”

“Okay..” y/n walked over to the bookshelf and grabbed a heap of books. Miche raised his eyebrows in confusion,

“How are you going to refer to that many books and finish it within time?” Miche questioned her.

“I will, don’t worry.” y/n’s sudden confidence took him aback.

“Well good luck.”

Time flew by quickly as both of them were engrossed in their work, the only sounds coming from the candle and turning of pages. It wasn’t peaceful to be precise, y/n was turning pages with such aggression it made the section commander steal glances at her. She would flip through the pages and write down important points, constantly checking the time as she worked. Her handwriting got messier as time flew by and Miche couldn’t help but notice. He could tell that y/n totally had the plan to give those cadets a hard time. She had a weak, but cocky smirk the whole time, and Miche was just glad that he was not one of the people that would need to take the test. He knew that expression and aggressive handwriting very well. She always wore that smirk while writing exams, and everytime she came out on top. Miche knew she was overcompensating for her sub-par physique and iron-deficiency that interfered with her ODM skills, but that semblance of confidence on her face always turned him on. Her hair was still messed up, she struggled to keep that twisted fringe out of her face.

“Where’s the ruler?!” Y/n asked loudly, shaking Miche out of his trance.

“Wait…” He fished out a ruler from the clutter in his drawer and handed it to y/n.

“What are you drawing?”

“A wrong diagram of the latest formation.” Y/n replied curtly.

“I see.. Good.”

Miche was organizing his drawer after finishing his work when y/n handed him the tests. It was 11;30 sharp. The ink had somehow gotten between y/n’s fingers. Miche went through all seven pages of three extremely complicated tests and shot a glance at y/n, who looked like she was awaiting his praise. She was sitting with her back straight, wide eyed and messy hair. Miche chuckled, and y/n smiled. She knew she had done those cadets dirty with her questions.

“You have a naughty side, don’t you?” “Kitten” , was the term Miche refrained from using at the end.

Y/n nodded with a cheeky grin. The section commander squinted and got up from his chair, towering over her. A faint blush crept over her cheeks as she broke eye contact with him, staring down at her feet instead. Her delicate shoulders now looked tensed up under her transparent, embroidered shoulder shawl. The pile of paperwork didn’t allow him to notice her beautiful blush pink dress. She had embroidered little flowers to accentuate her figure all the way down to her hips.

“You look beautiful in that dress.” Miche blurted out, causing her to blush harder and breathe unevenly.

“Thank you, sir..”

“Look at me when you speak.”

“O-okay..” she slowly raised her head, still not wanting to make eye contact.

“I will be straight to the point y/n… I like you, not just as a comrade.”

“Understood.” y/n was taking quick, short breaths, causing the tall blonde to get on his knees. She had gone back to her timid mouse state and he could no longer read her.

“Are you scared right now?” Miche tried hard to not sound like a creep.

“No, I like you too!”

“That’s -” he began to speak but got cut off.

“More than a comrade, if you were wondering…” she trailed off shyly. Miche kept staring at her, dumbstruck at her honest confession. This whole time he had no idea about her feelings.

"When were you planning to tell me ..?" Miche asked, pulling a chair behind him. He was still leaning towards y/n with an expression of pure shock.

"I… Never planned on saying anything." Y/n's expression saddened as she looked at him with her doe eyes.

"I can understand.". he was telling the truth. The realisation that their confessions were a result of his impulsive decision dawned on him. He couldn't take his eyes off her form. She looked anxious, fondling with her pendant in one hand.

"Do you want to take this further?" Y/n asked with a shaky voice, and his answer was immediate.

"Yes."

She looked straight into his eyes and smiled.

"Can I kiss you?" The 35 year old man felt like a teenager trying to walk on eggshells. The woman before him giggled and nodded in approval, finally lifting her hand from the pendant. She was starting to settle down, although the butterflies in her stomach made it difficult. Miche was about to lean in when she stopped him and got up from her chair.

"I forgot to lock the door." She said naughtly.

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Okay, I really wanted to turn this into a smut, but I am too chicken. 🙈🥺

[yanderecandystore]

Can we get some content for how the Android darling and Ms. Bright would meet?

In this [🍰🍑🤖] we get a glimpse of what their relationship is like and a lil mention of how things have worked out- But let's see how it played out from the a.is perspective.

Hi boo, I hope you're doing great, I'm very sorry for the long ass waiting- Sadly I may warn y'all that I have gone through many stages while writing this: h 0 r ny, corny, and angsty. This is actually pretty heavy, as I tried pulling some of the loose threads that I left all over Ingrid's posts (I still need to give her an bio ;-; I'm sorry y'all-)

So this is all over the place, since this is a fic I've been writing for a long time.

Also I know jackshit about robotics, and I think this fic shows how much I don't know anything XD

TW: Family issues related to: LGBTQ identity // very angsty // Ingrid is very rude, but she also struggles a lot during this- // socially distant // socially awkward // being misinterpreted/having a hard time socializing //

Tags: angy sad lady // ownership dynamic // this is basically the reader reminiscing about the past (continuing it from where Happy Lies left off) // the reader is low-key a simp at times- // master x servant dynamic, possessive behavior and a lot of yelling // just angsty really, I'm so sorry //

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Happy birthday, mistress [Yandere!CEO OC x A.I!Reader - Short Fanfiction]

3,763 words

Whenever you remember your first day of activation, or more accurately your first day of actually being able to be activated for more than five seconds (you can't remember it fully, but you're aware that because of your complex design, you had passed through a lot of prototype phases before you could properly function-), you almost feel an odd sense of nostalgia, maybe due to the fact it was indeed the most important day of your existence as an android.

It was Ms.Bright's nineteenth birthday, when she would be handed the corporation that has been passed down by generations. And not only would she inherit the company, but also a beautifully designed a.i assistant made to help Ms.Bright's every need. You were made to be an easy communication center from Ms.Bright to the employees, as Ms.Bright's had a hard time communicating with people and expressing herself.

At first, she didn't seem to enjoy the idea very much- It was clear that she considered you to be quite annoying and useless. And- Well- It did hurt at first, after all, you were built to help her and be her friend no matter what.

So hearing her be mean towards you was… Very tough at first. Your first day as her assistant wasn't easy, you ended up getting in her way most of the time- And since she also didn't know exactly what she was doing, she got overwhelmed by so many things going down in one single day.

Ingrid has always dreamed of being in power of the company- Actually, now that you know her a little more- You can positively say she was probably just stressed at having to deal with so many responsibilities so suddenly, even if it has been her lifelong wish to inherit the company.

And even if it seems impossible at times, she would still come back strong and find a way to deal with it. That's something you really admire about her.

Your first week on the job was basically just trying to get accustomed and trying to learn everything you needed to do- While also trying to understand Ms.Bright as best as you could. Now… You weren't built to say this- And- And of course you don't think like this anymore, but…. You used to think she was really mean.

Frightening, even.

Now that you're all alone waiting for her to get back from work, you can't help but feel like replaying those moments inside your head.

"{... Replaying recorded conversation n°000050: "My second day at work"...}"

" Oh, what are you doing here?"

" Morning Ms.Bright! I-I was rechecking the files from yesterday and I was trying my best to reorganize them, a-after the incident-"

" The "incident" that you caused yesterday?"

" Well, yes, of course! I wanted to fix things up before you came back, I'm really sorry for being so reckless, I promise I won't do it again, I was just-"

"It 's fine. You don't need to worry about it."

" But… But I thought-"

" The files you had messed with weren't really all that important, and besides I'm sure there are copies all around the place. Sigh, who am I kidding- In reality, I should be the one apologizing for my behavior yesterday."

"...."

" I recognize that I shouldn't have treated you the way that I did, in a sense it's my fault you lost those files in the first place."

" … Well, it's nothing really mistress, I'm the one who should-"

" No, don't even finish it. You shouldn't have to apologize and shouldn't have spent the night wasting your battery on this-"

"...."

".... You know what, do whatever- I sometimes forget that you are… Nevermind, come back to my office as soon as you can."

"{... End of recorded conversation n°000.000.050… }"

You never knew what she was going to say, but you remember not being able to ask her that- As you were afraid of her potentially getting mad at you for asking too many questions. She always seemed so ruthless at times.

You remember the time you went to a family event with her, a family party, where an incident happened and she was absolutely livid. Your relationship with her wasn't so pretty at the time, you don't know why but- Your mistress didn't seem to trust you as much as you wish she did at the time.

"{... Replaying recorded conversation n°000.001.588: "First party ever- And it was very unpleasant" ...}"

" What's the matter with you?! Why can't you follow simple instructions- I told you to stay here and not mess around."

" I'm. So. Sorry. Mistress-"

" Even your vocal module is broken- Who told you to enter that pool in the first place?? You can't tell me you did something so stupid all on your own."

" I. Slipped.-"

" Am I a joke to you? I've said tell me who gave you the order to jump in the goddamn pool while everyone else was inside- Don't you dare start lying to me."

" … One of the. Party guests. Lost something. Inside the water. I tried helping them. But I started to. Malfunction."

" … Sigh, okay. Continue."

" It wasn't. Their fault. I did it. On my own. I was just- Trying. To help."

" By throwing yourself inside a pool when you're well aware of the damage the water can cause to your inner systems?!"

" I'm sorry!"

" You could have- No, you SHOULD have called someone else to help you, I can't believe it- You could have drowned in there and I wouldn't even be aware of that since I was inside the house, [Y/n]!"

" …. But Ms.Bright. I can't drown-"

" Yeah, yeah- I know you-... I know you can't drown."

" … Listen, you could have still gotten yourself hurt okay? You could have permanently damaged your systems, and if I wasn't made aware of what happened, I wouldn't have been able to take you out of the water in time, okay?"

"... Sigh, I just realized how much I have been yelling, everyone is probably scared now that I've made such a scandal. This… Isn't really a new thing to me, I'm accustomed to ruining parties like this. I'll have to apologise later to everyone. [Y/n], please just- When I ask you to stay still, please listen to me. I was worried about you."

"...."

"{... End of recorded conversation n°000.001.588 ...}"

You can't deny it- Whenever she was truly irritated she could make any person next to her feel threatened, though the more you look at your recordings, you feel like she doesn't really want to be feared like this. Respected? Absolutely. Feared? Not ideal, but she takes it anyway.

You have a couple of different recordings here and there, your memories are separated into sections. You have recordings of events in several formats: pictures, videos, texts and audio recordings. Though the one you use the most is audio recordings, since videos take a very big space inside your mind, and pictures need context, otherwise they wouldn't be considered memories, right?

You can't have many memories at a time because most of your mind is supposed to be used to store the company's files, so you do have a couple of memories that you have deleted to make space for the Bright Vision's more secret/personal documents. Since Ingrid took you home yesterday, and said you won't be going to work for the company anymore, then maybe you can find somewhere else to store those files so you can make space for new memories with Ms.Bright.

First, you'll need to recheck some of your own memories to see if they're worth holding onto. There is probably a lot of junk in there that you won't be needing anymore, which can be a bit tedious and take some time, but you clearly have enough time on your hands to do so, considering how she is not home and- Well, you're pretty bored, you already done everything that she asked you to do.

Honestly, she gave such small tasks today, she probably didn't plan to change your work environment so suddenly.

After about an hour of research through your data you have realized that even if you have way too many files, it's kinda hard to delete them. At first you didn't mind the idea of deleting certain stuff, but now it feels a bit sad to erase parts of your memory, you just had so many good times and- And even the bad times are worth remembering, right?

It has been an hour of you just standing there, trying your best to not delete anything important while also revising each recording you have. Most files are a bit out of order, numerically speaking, but you don't mind that too much cause- Well, you can always reorganize them later.

… You never actually do that, but you like to think that one day you will, though.

After so many recordings of conversations, you found one who didn't seem to really belong in your head. You see, you always title every single thing inside your personal archives so that it doesn't get mixed with other files- All of your memories have a specific title so that you can have an idea of which is which.

The thing is- You don't remember this file, the title seems off, and it seems like it's incomplete. Oddly broken. Still, you decided to take a listen and try to remember what happened in this event.

"{... Replaying recorded conversation n°000.068.xxx: "I yell too much" ...}"

"...."

"...."

"...."

This is a very silent audio, there seems to be some background noise happening, but you can't make out what's happening. This audio sounds distorted, edited maybe. Someone tried messing with your memories but they weren't able to completely erase this file.

Maybe they were inexperienced at the time.

"...."

"...."

"...."

You think you heard something, it sounded closer to you- It sounded like someone possibly sitting down next to you. You don't know who it is, or what it is

"...."

".... I'm such a mess. Why am I doing this? Why does this feels so-"

"...."

It seems like someone is speaking, but you're not speaking back. Even in this heavily edited audio, you can still make out what sounds to be a feminine voice.

".... I'm sorry for, well, using you this way. It feels- So, so weird."

"...."

".... I just want… No, I need to vent to you for a while, even if you won't remember what I'm going to say."

This audio gives you an odd sensation. You think you're starting to recognize who this is- But then again, who else could it be, if not Ms.Bright herself?

" I never did this before, with something so- Human like- With something so human looking. I used to record my thoughts on my phone but I thought I would never need to vent with an object before- But here I am! Making a fool of myself…"

"...."

The speaker, who you assume to be Ingrid, seems to be having a lot of trouble speaking, her voice is cracking and her breathing seems uneven. She sounds out of breath, and she takes a lot of pauses to be able to speak her mind.

"...."

".... I have…. Thought about opening myself in this way because- Because I have no one else to listen to it, and I guess I can only blame myself for it. I know I'm difficult, I know I'm rude and I know I come across as a tyrant to everyone else- I- I really don't know what 's wrong with me, okay?!"

" Years, and years, and years of training, of studying, of planning to become the very next owner of this corporation as it's already not only a job but also a very painful family tradition that I felt proud of! That I gave everything that I could to be part of! I remember wanting this so bad, I remember how I used to daydream about this stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid tradition when I was a little kid who just wanted to do more, to be more!"

".… I almost lost all of this. 19 years of my life that were threatened to be thrown in the trash just because I- Because I'm not his son??! Because I- I'm not his only "son" anymore??.... Who said I ever was- Who said I ever was his son…?"

".... I- I know all about the stupid, awful and extremely unnecessary tradition of passing the leadership from father to son, and to this very day- inside the same office all of my predecessors had went through- I still think that tradition is garbage. I always thought I wouldn't make it here, I always thought something would stop me from being the next face of Bright Vision."

".... I can't tell- If I always knew about this- I can't even imagine how I knew this considering the dumb kid that I was, but…"

".... I'm his daughter. I'm Mr.Bright's only daughter, and the only possible heir to this twisted company."

" The people outside think our only focus it's on robotics and technology of all kinds. I wish I could go back to thinking that too, it would have been so much simpler that way."

" After a very long fight about my rights as the heir to this- Company. My father thought it would be wise to move to the countryside. Far away from all of this. And to be fair, I was- So, so mad at him that I thought that him moving away from here and letting me be would be better, but every now and then I- I miss him. I miss him so much…."

"He sent me a birthday present today. After three years of absolute silence he sends me flowers and- And a gift card containing his number… And I- Called him despite everything, and even so to this day he can't even say my name- IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS AFTER HE LEFT ME ALL ALONE WITH THIS CURSED BUSINESS AND HE STILL CAN'T FUCKING. SAY. MY. NAME."

You felt scared at the sudden yelling, even if her voice was progressively getting more aggressive and louder, you still got caught up by the sudden yelling.

".... I'm- A mess- I know that now."

You can't understand what's going on, but it sounds like she started laughing… Or maybe crying? Probably both.

".... I'm just terrible at this. I always was, weren't I? I'm just terrible at these types of interactions- Maybe all of them! I just don't understand how to- How to do it?? I don't know anymore…."

".... That's why I have you, in the first place, isn't it?"

" I had such an awful time expressing myself that they gave me an overpriced doll to do it for me. When I first heard about this three years ago, I- I've felt so fucking pitiful."

" Can you imagine it? The CEO of such a big corporation is so difficult to deal with that she needs an overly glorified doll that can translate her words to the other employees! An a.i created just to help me, an absolute idiot!"

".... I've felt so angry at them- I felt so angry at him for having to build a robot just to be a comfort pet to the stressful work that I would have to do for the rest of my position as owner of Bright Vision Corp, and I was mad at you! You pissed me off to no end, and I- I just couldn't help but be frustrated at you, not for being in my way, but for being an reminder that I'm awful at this-"

"...."

Her sobs stopped her from continuing that sentence.

".... I've treated you so unfairly because of this. I- I made sure that whenever you looked at me you would feel terrified of me because that's the only way I thought I could be respected, that's the only way I thought you would listen to me, and yet you never did…. You weren't built to follow my every order perfectly, you were made to be literally my only friend, after 22 years, here you are- The only person that can get me isn't even an actual person-"

"..... And I forget this…! I forget this every time I look at your eyes, I forget how robotic you are whenever I see you helping others not because you were told to, but just because you thought you could."

"...."

".... I always forget that you're supposed to be just another robot… He really did think about everything when designing you."

".... I always catch myself being awful towards you, being- Being excessively rude, not because of my way of talking but because of my own petty feelings towards you as my assistant… As my friend, as my android, as my-"

"...."

"..... I'm so sorry for being like this, you don't deserve to have someone who is constantly being mean towards you be considered your boss- Your boss, your friend- ...Sigh, even your owner…"

" I'm sorry [Y/n], I'm really, really sorry- But it doesn't matter how many times I say that- I don't know if I can ever make it up to you. Words won't heal any wounds, they never did."

"...."

".... But maybe actions will."

"...."

" I'll stop being so harsh on you, you really don't deserve this- I was feeling weird about using your recording system to vent like this, but now that I think about it I have been using you as a venting mechanism since the day we met……. I'm- I'm so goddamn awful."

"...."

"...."

" "How can someone so in love be so cruel?".... Would you be able to answer me if you were conscious?.... I don't think you would, no one has been able to tell me the right answer yet."

".... I hope I can be better- I will be better."

"...."

" I just need to remember how to delete this file before you wake up- I hope I can do that. End recording."

"{... End of recorded conversation n°000.068.xxx …}

………….

It took you about an hour or so to be able to process what you have just listened to. And even then, you weren't able to fully comprehend what happened.

Ms.Bright- No, Ingrid- Ingrid has used your recording system while you were out, she probably tried deleting the file but because she was inexperienced with your kind of technology, she decided to just edit it and try to make it unlistenable.

It was- Barely audible but you still got to understand some of it.

Did she- Did she forget to completely erase it? Did she forget entirely??? You're not sure.

You don't know why but a sudden wave of- Something- Something feels so odd about this-

You don't know how to respond really. You don't feel mad about her ranting to you, you don't even feel bad about her ranting to you while you weren't aware- You feel bad, but not because of her but because of the emotional turmoil she has been hiding from you.

Should you do something? Should you say something?? How do you even- You don't know how respond to this-

You're programmed to comfort her, yet- This file is already old, and she didn't want you to remember this so maybe it won't be the best idea to bring it up, but what can you do??!

Maybe you just need to rethink this through, maybe you should listen to audio again, and try to figure out what's the best way to help her out when she comes back.

You're honestly baffled at the idea that someone like her had so much to confess to- You probably shouldn't have seen her as an unstoppable goddess in the first place, but then again- Even after hearing her open herself, even after listening to her insecurities- Your opinion of her hasn't changed.

She was holding this for so long, no wonder she always seems on edge.

She 's only human. Yet you never really saw her as just that.

She was always so much larger than you, so much stronger than what your fabricated body was, and she always sounded so much smarter and- And she was just always so… Terrifyingly beautiful to you.

Ingrid Bright was always considered a very good looking individual, but no one ever considered her to be much else because of her way of speaking to others (which may sound rude and occasionally condescending, causing others to avoid her as much as they could), but you always thought she was so much more than that-

It's hard to even explain it really, ever since you met you have started to understand the concept of how beauty and fear can mix together, you find her to be so beautiful, yet her demeanor and stature makes you feel afraid of her for some reason- And even worse than that, the fear she may unconsciously bring you makes her seem more beautiful in your eyes.

You shouldn't think of her as scary or frightening, she is your boss, your master and your owner, there is no reason for why you should feel this way towards her- But then again, there is no reason for you to even feel in the first place, you were just built to do so.

You don't think she means harm to anyone, after getting to know her you realize why her behavior can be misinterpreted as mean and scary- Ms.Bright always had a hard time socializing with others, even her family had a hard time understanding her, so maybe that's why she grew to have such a tough exterior.

As someone that was built to make the communication between CEO and employees easier, you've had to learn to understand her to be able to help others understand her as well, and vice versa. It wasn't easy, and you wouldn't say that you know her completely well- But you feel proud of the work you have done so far, you're her loyal companion but more importantly a friend.

Funny how much you learned not only about her, the employees, or even the business of the company- But also about humans in general in these five years of working for her, it makes you feel more whole when you remember how much you have achieved.

You hope you can somehow help her right now, and to help her from here on out. You decide to wait for her and possibly talk about how she feels and how she deals with said feelings. Hopefully all ends well.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Sorry for the loose ending! I was feeling very tired ;-; but if anyone wants it I could totally make a second chapter with a better ending.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[pandoriasbox]

Ch1 Into the Wood - Into the Wildwoods (Standard)

The large irish cob snorted as the last of the load was added to his back. Eversong looked over to where Az was finishing up and his eyes followed her as she walked over to him. Immediately his muscles relaxed as they made contact and he felt her reassurance pulse through their connection. The rider was giddy, excited but also nervous, this was the first time the pair were heading back up to Redwood Point since before the fall of Garnok. So much had changed and yet at the same time it felt like so little. The world was still turning, Az still worked as a ranger and to all those she shared her job with it was just another average day.

Az planted a gentle kiss to the soft snout of her beloved companion, opening her eyes to see his beautiful duo colored ones staring right back at her. “It won’t take long to get up there, it’s already cleared and then I can unpack all this stuff at the station.” She smiled and let him nuzzle her hand. Az had felt trepidation at the thought of going on such a long term mission without her other half but thanks in part to Rowan the stallion was allowed to accompany them. The senior ranger had pulled a few strings and with some convincing Eversong was allowed along as a packhorse so the team was able to carry extra gear and supplies for their initial expedition.

Once she was sure Eversong was ready, the redhead returned to her other equine companion Foxfire. The buckskin let out a snort and pawed at the ground as she awaited her rider. Az gave her a pat on the neck before giving her tack a once over. The trip shouldn’t be too long but it wasn’t exactly the same as going between the southern station and Dundull. Taking a deep breath she swung up into the saddle and led the two horses to join the small group gathered at the base of the road to the station.

“Alright mates, everyone good to go?” Rowan called out to the assembled rangers. A general affirmation rang out from the group. “Okay good, now Az I’d like you up front with me since you have the most experience up there out of all of us. Everyone else ride in formation as we discussed.” With that the expedition began in proper, Az trotting up to meet Rowan at the front. The group of six rangers began their journey up through the recently cleared brambles.

“So Az, you excited to head back up into Redwood? Your reports were pretty minimal but that route really helped with getting the foliage cleared.” Rowan glanced over, smiling warmly.

The redhead chuckled softly and nodded. “Yeah, it’s been a good bit but I gotta say all those rumors of Hartwood really got me interested. Thanks for getting me on the mission… and uh… thanks for letting Eversong come along.”

Rowan waved their hand dismissively. “Eh don’t worry about it, I know how much he means to you and honestly you seem to have an even stronger connection with that stallion than Foxy or any of our own. There’s something special between you two and I’d like to have that with us.”

“Ah yeah, you could definitely say that, something special I mean.” A tiny flush filled Az’s cheeks as she thought about how much deeper it went. It wasn’t every day your very soul was intertwined with another’s but she wouldn’t have it any other way. Sighing softly she let a smile bloom across her lips as she leaned forward to pet the mare she rode with her free hand. “Foxy’s a good gal though, hardy and determined… when she wants to be.” The two let out a laugh that made the mare snort and flick her ears back before returning her attention to the overgrown trail before them. The rest of the ride up the pass was mostly in silence but Az certainly didn’t mind. She enjoyed the serenity and scenery surrounding them, mindful of the precarious cliffs and rock bridge as they reached them.

--------------------------------

The station soon came into view and it looked just as worn down as the last time Az had visited it. The roofs were covered in fresh growth, there was still a broken window in the stables and the pasture fences were a mess. They had a lot of work ahead of them but she knew they could get this place looking almost as good as new. The horses were tied up to the safest part of the fence, Eversong having his packs unloaded while Rowan directed the other rangers. Az was given fence repair. The others did their best to get the rest of the station up to livable standards. She waved to Enitan as she passed through the pasture gate while he set to work fixing the door to the stable. Eversong nickered behind her and she paused to give him a gentle pet. “Hey buddy, we made it. You and Foxy did a great job.” Az grinned as he nuzzled against her and she gave him another pat. “Careful now, I got a bunch of nails on me.” She laughed softly as he snorted at her and returned to his grazing.

Much of the fencing for the paddock was old and even a few sections showed signs of mold or too severe of damage. She sighed and set to work, patching holes as she could with existing material before returning to the stable to find some spare wood. It was as she was on the last part of the fence, as far into the forest as one could get when she sensed something was amiss. She knew bears and wolves lived out here but that wasn’t what sent a prickle down her spine. All the training that Evergrey and Ydris put her through came flooding back as she straightened and stood back up. It was no simple animal that stood behind her, it was something that exuded a magic she couldn’t quite place. That only put her more on edge however.

She realized too late she had her back to the forest. Slowly, carefully she began to turn around, knowing that whatever was behind her could easily be something provoked into attacking if she showed any sign of danger to it. Her free hand tingled as her magic was just a heartbeat away. It wouldn’t be good to use it here, memories flooding back of the forest fires she caused back when she first fled to the area. She heard a shuffling of what sounded like hooves and finally she got the first glimpse of the creature from the corner of her eyes.

White caught her eye then the rest came into view and finally she stood face to face with it. Az’s heart thudded as a deer with a head as white as snow and body made of plants slowly approached her. She stood frozen in its presence, her mind reeling trying to understand what it was. She had never seen such a creature, even its antlers were made of branches and unknown blossoms sprang forth. However what struck her the most were its milky white eyes that bored into her. She didn’t realize she had been holding her breath until the creature’s head turned and it suddenly bounded away.

Coming back to reality Az realized she heard hoofbeats behind her before a whinny rang out and she blinked. Turning around she found Eversong huffing and pawing, his concern ringing clearly across their connection. The ranger hopped the fence and stood beside him, calming the large stallion just as Tiera came running after.

Once she caught her breath she sighed in relief to see the cob was safe with his owner. “Hey Az! Sorry about that, one moment he was just peacefully grazing and the next I looked up and he was gone! Don’t know how but he got the lead rope untied and booked it. Did you uh… want me to bring him back up to the stables?” The younger ranger grinned sheepishly, feeling embarrassed for letting a horse escape on her watch.

Az smiled and picked up the loose lead rope, tossing it over Eversong’s back. “Naw it’s alright, I’ll bring him back up once I’m done giving the fences a once over. Why don’t you head back and check the other horses?” Once Tiera nodded and began her way back Az scrambled up onto the bare stallion’s back. “Naughty boy, you know you’re supposed to be on your best behavior.” She whispered playfully, smiling as Eversong snorted back at her and began moving along the fence line. Az kept her eyes out for any more damage but as far as she could tell everything was as fixed as it was going to get. “Thanks though...” she said softly, “I don’t know what that was… I don’t think it was dangerous but I just… blanked there. I’ve never seen anything like it and I didn’t want to hurt it.” Eversong let out a soft nicker and Az smiled as she sensed his acknowledgement.

She knew thoughts of the white deer would keep her up that night, they filled her mind as she helped clean out the main station cabin. Eversong retired to the pasture with Foxy and the other horses; however he remained vigilant for the strange stag. Az tried her best to reassure him they were probably safe but she could feel how defensive he grew of her. Despite her own concern for him she was grateful he was here watching out for her.

Night came quickly as their work kept the rangers busy. Az soon settled down in her bunk, trying not to toss and turn as images of the deer filled her mind. Questions flitted through her thoughts such as why it had appeared to her now? Where was it from? Jorvik was certainly a magical place but thinking back to what she had sensed… that wasn’t pandoric energy in the slightest. She hummed softly and rolled to her other side. If anything it felt more like the Sleeping Widow or the Singing Yew, ancient and integral to the island rather than alien and unnatural. Yawning, she reached out through her connection to Eversong, feeling him weakly reply. The stallion was settling down to sleep as well but he returned her call.

“Can you help me sleep?” She asked, feeling his reply shortly after and a sense of calm washed over her. Soon she forgot her worries about the stag and felt the sweet embrace of sleep surrounding her.

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Morning came with the breaking of dawn, light filtering past the tall trees and into the grimey windows of the cabin. Az winced as the warm rays hit her face and she rolled over to avoid them. However what she couldn’t avoid was the loud alarm of one of the other ranger’s phones. Groans rose up from several of the others, Az among them as she finally gave up and moved to get out of bed. “Jeeze who’s got the crap ringtone?” She called out, rubbing at an eye.

“Ah, that’d be me, sorry I forgot to turn it off.” Astrid picked up the device, quickly silencing the blaring alarm off. The rest of the rangers stumbled out of bed, some dressing properly while others made their way to the kitchen. Az was surprised to see Rowan already at work making breakfast. The scent of bacon and eggs filled the cabin as she escaped into the bathroom before the others could hog it.

Settling down with a couple other groggy rangers at the table Rowan delivered a few finished strips of bacon to each and a couple fried eggs. “Mornin’ hope you all slept well!” Az snorted at how cheery they were, that was one thing the two didn’t share in common. Rowan was a morning person while Az was always a night owl.

“Ah about as well as one can on those old mattresses, I swear the horses are gonna get better rest.” She joked before snatching up a piece of bacon and popping it into her mouth.

“Yeah we were gonna get a few more z’s in until Astrid’s phone started blaring.” Yousef grumbled while pouring himself some juice.

“Well it’s still the work week, we can’t laze around too much up here. Lots to do after all.” Rowan smirked and tapped at the frying pan. “But I’ll let you guys sleep in on the weekends, if Astrid’s phone agrees.” They chuckled and Az couldn’t help but snort softly. “We’re gonna finish up the major repairs and cleaning today hopefully then start making plans on how we’re going to remap the Redwoods area. All of our maps are extensively out of date and any of the near complete ones have long been lost. As far as I can tell the last time they were updated was back during that Hartwood search.”

Az perked up at the mention of the mysterious ranger. “No one’s been up since then right?” She paused in her meal, looking between Rowan and Enitan who had been quiet since sitting down with her and Yousef.

Clearing his throat, Entian spoke up finally. “No, the whole area was abandoned since staff was short back then, right Rowan?” The Aussie nodded before Entian continued. “The rumors of the area being haunted didn’t really help so it kind of just fell to the wayside.”

“Haunted? Really?” Az tilted her head. “Rowan, you never mentioned that part.” Her gaze returned to the senior ranger while she took a sip of her drink.

“Ah yeah, I try not to spread those rumors to be honest, makes it harder to get a proper team together. See, we’ve been getting a decent growth in rangers over the last few years. Tiera and Astrid are a great example and given their skill sets I figured they’d be good on this mission. Of course Az you were my top pick.” They motioned at her with the spatula. “Not just because you managed to get up here on your own but you’re among our top rangers right now.”

The redhead blushed softly and smiled. “Thanks, that means a lot.” She paused, mind wandering back to yesterday with the deer. But she also couldn’t wait to start mapping out the Redwoods with Foxy and do some trail rides with Eversong off duty this weekend.

In the background of her thoughts the conversation continued. “They never found her did they?” Yousef asked.

“Nope, there’s been all sorts of strange rumors though.” Enitan started, Az tuning back into the conversation as he began talking about the famous ranger. Midway through the conversation Tiera and Astrid joined breakfast, listening to the storyteller weave the tale of Edith Octavia Hartwood. “She was a legend… one of the first rangers who stepped foot in the Redwoods and well, possibly even beyond. I think most of you by now have heard the tales of mysterious valley deeper in the mountains yes?” A chorus of mumbling agreement and nods mixed with confusion from Yousef. “Well, there’s believed to be this valley somewhere close to us past the mountain face. However no matter what no one seems to be able to get up there. Even attempts to use drones or satellite cameras all result in equipment lost or fuzzy photos. No one can explain why and so far everyone who’s tried to breach the mountain has met terrible fates. Most go missing, this station is the closest recorded settlement to where we think the valley is.” A murmuring of curiosity came from the group except for Astrid who rolled her eyes.

“Just bad luck and there’s probably some kind of weird magnetic thing up there. I’m sure it’s explainable with science.” She huffed, finishing off her meal and leaving to finish getting dressed.

Az frowned and watched her go before returning her attention to Enitan. “Please continue, I’d love to hear more.”

The fellow ranger nodded and proceeded with the rest of his tale. “Well, Edith as I said was a legend among the rangers as far as I know but at the same time she’s somewhat of an enigma. A lot of us know her for being one of the most dedicated rangers in decades but along with that dedication are rumors she might have been a bit… mad.” He took a sip of his drink before continuing. “You see, Hartwood was believed to be very passionate about protecting Mistfall and especially the Jorvik Wild Horses. Back in her day a lot more herds roamed the area, most of them seemed to be up here in the Redwoods but we even had a few herds back down in Southern Mistfall. Nowadays they’ve all but disappeared and only once in a blue moon do you see them but they’re still here. It only fueled the rumors of that secret valley further.” He waved his hand.

“Jorvik Wilds? Wait… aren’t those...” Az thought for a moment, it sounded familiar. She snapped her fingers, trying to remember. “Ah! Yeah weren’t those some of the horses that resembled primievel equines from before the Jarl’s arrival?”

“I see someone’s done their homework” Enitan joked. “But yes Az, they’re also basically a national treasure and highly protected. It’s believed Jorvik Wilds don’t just let anyone ride them, they share some of the strongest bonds with their riders and seem to choose their rider unlike most modern day horses. It’s fascinating really.”

“So… what happened to Hartwood?” Tiera piped up, leaning forward into the table now intrigued.

“Ah yes, as I said Edith was deeply interested in protecting these horses. However no one really knows what happened to her. The herds were starting to thin out in Southern Mistfall by the time she joined the rangers and during her days they all but disappeared everywhere but up in the Redwoods. She was the one responsible for the structures up here actually, right Rowan?” 

The Aussie nodded, having long since joined them and was quietly munching away at their meal while listening in. “Indeed. The cabin, the fences, there’s even an old watchtower somewhere up here that she had built. Everything was, as far as I understood, designed to blend in with the local area as much as possible. You guys think that the growth on the roofs is from time? As far as we know it seems that was one of her ideas for trying to make the structures less intrusive. Same for that old stick fence we call a paddock.” Rowan let out a small bark of laughter before leaning back in their chair and smiling. “I think she did a pretty good job though with the resources she had.”

Enitan nodded and continued. “Yeah, she got this whole place setup and running but for the most part she was the only one up here. There were a lot of staff shortages back then and as far as I’ve learned the building of Redwood Point was unfortunately more costly than they expected. It was nice for a while it seemed but over time the rangers up here dwindled until only Hartwood was left. No one realized she was missing until it was too late. She never came back down for her scheduled resupply and a small group went up to check on her. Everything looked normal but Edith was nowhere to be found. She had long since stopped contact with the southern station but usually still came by in person. No one knew when she actually disappeared so a search party went up right away. Of course as the story goes, still no sign of her and even looking through belongings didn’t leave a hint. It was as if she just up and vanished one day.”

Rowan nodded. “Yeah rumors still abound, those less superstitious think it was just wolves and she got unlucky. There was no sign of her horse either so they assumed both were lost. However those who spin tall tales tell of everything from a sasquatch to aliens. The search party scoured the entire area but there were no traces of her remains, no scraps of clothing, no horse, nothing.”

“Yeah she wasn’t the sort of person to just give up on her tasks out of the blue either. Some tried suggesting she just moved out one day but nothing in the cabin or watchtower signified that.” Enitan shrugged. “Actually I think all her belongings are still around here somewhere if the elements haven’t ruined them.”

“Uhh… you guys wouldn’t mind if I had a look up at them do you?” Az finally spoke up, her interest piqued. “I’ve been curious about Hartwood since Rowan told me about her early on in my time as a ranger.”

Rowan waved their hand. “Go ahead as long as it’s while you’re off duty. If you find anything out I’d love to hear it.” Enitan and Tiera agreed. Az grinned and the group finished off breakfast with some more cheerful chatting. The remainder of the morning was spent sorting out details regarding the last cleanup of the station for now and discussion of cartography. Az was on stable duty next and she was happy to visit Eversong and Foxfire before setting to work making the stable inhabitable again for their equine companions. Once the station was in working order again they could finally begin their real mission. Soon they would be mapping the Redwoods out all over again.

[gayenerd]

This interview was the cover story for the 17th issue of Jaded In Chicago. It was conducted in September of 2004, several weeks prior to the release of American Idiot. It was a fitting end to the fanzine that was named after the band, as “Jaded In Chicago” references Green Day’s 1994 MTV concert special. To come full circle by interviewing the band that inspired the zine’s moniker was somewhat surreal.

With the release of American Idiot, Green Day has transcended punk rock. By crafting the first punk rock opera and fashioning what is likely the first tasteful concept album of the new millennium, they’ve provided pop punk bands everywhere with a blueprint for how to mature gracefully. Additionally, as much as American Idiot is about innovation, it’s also a return to the fundamentals of punk rock. The album sears with dissent, takes aim between the eyes of the Bush administration and contains a dangerous sense of unpredictability. It’s been ten years since Green Day was the most popular band in the world and with any luck American Idiot will allow them to recapture that title in no time. (Interview with drummer Tré Cool).

Bill – Before we talk about American Idiot, I wanted to discuss the infamous “lost” album first. About a year and a half ago, you guys recorded what was to be the follow-up to Warning, but reportedly the master tapes were stolen. What can you tell me about what happened?

Tré – We just knew that if it ever came out, we couldn’t do any of those same songs on the actual record. If somebody puts it out, like crappier versions of the songs, it’s going to totally ruin it. Plus, it happened right around the same time that Billie wrote the song “American Idiot” and most of “Holiday.” We were in the middle of working on those songs, so we just decided not to look back and we kept going forward.

Bill – I’ve read that you feel American Idiot is “maximum Green Day.” Why exactly do you feel this way?

Tré – Well, because we’re firing on all cylinders, ya know? Everything about even just being in the band now feels so right. Everything from the recording process to the live shows to our ambitions. This might sound kind of dumb, but even the clothes we’re wearing during photo shoots. It’s more together like a band.

Bill – People are certainly expecting this record to be political, but I think they’re going to be surprised when they hear how you really go for the throat with some of the lyrics. Examples of this would of course be the title track and also the breakdown section of “Holiday.” What are some of the main reasons why you’re so pissed off with this country?

Tré – It’s more like confused and jaded, if you will, (laughs). The bombardment of bullshit, fake news, like Fox News and CNN. All the reality-based shit that’s on television, stuff like Fear Factor that the government is using to keep everybody like good little sheep and not asking too many questions. It’s like how if a cop hears you use the word “terror” it basically means he can take any normal American citizen’s rights away from them. A cop can do that at his or her discretion if they think you might be a terrorist or whatnot. The whole Patriot Act. It’s like do we actually have any rights after all? We don’t have the right to a proper election, we already found that out. The fabric of our government right now is basically just made out of one hundred dollar bills that are drenched in oil. As far as this upcoming election goes, I know that John Kerry is extremely conservative and he’s nowhere near the liberal we need in the White House to clean up the mess. However, he’s not George Bush. Kerry’s money is in ketchup. Bush’s money is in oil and blood. I’d choose ketchup over that, (laughs).

Bill – How do you hope people react to these songs?

Tré – I hope they can look past the strong language and go into the meaning of it. I hope they realize there’s a bit of sarcasm. I hope they don’t feel that we’re telling them what to do. We’re just sort of pointing the fingers at ourselves, saying like “I don’t want to be an American idiot or I don’t want to be a part of this bullshit.”

Bill – Talk about the character called “Jesus of Suburbia.” What sort of journey does he embark on throughout these songs and what made you choose this type of format for your songwriting?

Tré – The album is sort of like a timeline of his life. Depending on where you’re at with your life, you probably fit somewhere on that timeline yourself. Whether it’s the “Holiday” party stage, or the “Give Me Novacaine” drug stage or the “Extraordinary Girl” being in love stage; all these different stages in life show that what paths you choose will inevitably lead you somewhere. It’s not necessarily the happiest ending in the world, but it’s pretty realistic.

Bill – Are you at all worried about some of your fans possibly being alienated by the two nine-minute rock operas found on the album?

Tré – I don’t think they’ll even notice they’re nine-minute songs. They’ll think they’re a bunch of short songs put together. It’s definitely short attention span theater. It’s not like Wilco, where they have a ten-minute song with the same drumbeat and the same chord progression. Not saying anything bad about Wilco, they’re a fine band. They’re great to relax to and drink iced tea to, (laughs). I think we’d get bored doing that. We just sort of get to the point, say what we want to say and move on to the next part of the song. The way the energy flows in the songs is sort of like the way America is now too, just so scattered. There’s a big misrepresentation of how we feel in this bullshit climate right now.

Bill – One of the most important topics you address on this record is the American media. Specifically, how it perpetuates fear amongst the public and does little to question the President’s follow-through on his promises. Do you think the average American is aware of how the wool is being pulled over their eyes?

Tré – No, not at all. Say you see some guy driving down the street with a Bush/Cheney sticker on his Chevy S-10, beat-up truck with a pair of flip-flops hanging off the back. I want to ask him, “Why the fuck are you a Republican? What’s in it for you, dude?” Bush isn’t doing a thing for those people. He’s not helping them get a better truck or put food on the table. He’s not going to give them a tax break. Republicans don’t care about you. They’re not going to try and help you in any way. They just want to use you and get your dead peasants insurance once you’re gone.

Bill – Tell me about the upcoming club dates that you have scheduled where you plan to perform American Idiot in its entirety. Who came up with the idea and what are you looking forward to most about it?

Tré – I’d credit Pete Townshend with the idea. We’ve always admired The Who and their lack of inhibition as far as going for whatever crazy idea they had. As crazy as something like Tommy was when it was just a small idea, compared to what it’s become now, it’s pretty insane. They did A Quick One, where they played that live. That was a quick one, but ours is an hour. Basically, we just want to kick The Who’s ass. I listened to Who’s Next yesterday, which a lot of people are comparing American Idiot to. We totally got them beat. I’ve always aspired to be as good of a drummer as Keith Moon and I think I’ve fuckin’ passed by him on this record.

Bill – Roughly ten years ago, Dookie was released and went on to sell over ten million copies and become one of the most notable albums of the ‘90s. A decade later, I think you’ve constructed in American Idiot what is arguably your strongest record yet. Is there anything specific that you hope American Idiot accomplishes?

Tré – Yeah, I think it’s about time that people think of Green Day in a different light. We’re not snot-nosed kids anymore, we’re men now. I want people to think of us more as one of the mainstay supergroups of today. I’m not asking for too much, (laughs). We’re superheroes in our own minds. We think we’re really cool, why doesn’t everybody else?

Bill – What was the weirdest thing about being the biggest band in America in 1994?

Tré – I don’t think we really had time to enjoy it when it was happening. We were just trying to pay our rent and be able to make records for the rest of our lives. We didn’t know anything like that was ever going to happen. It sort of freaked us out a bit, but at the same time I was kind of busy just moving and doing it. We didn’t have time to look back since we were doing so much. By the time we had taken a break to make Insomniac it was like, “Do you guys know what you just did?” We were like, “Oh…shit.”

Bill – Earlier this year, Thick Records released the Out of Focus DVD, which featured live Green Day footage circa 1992. What are some of your favorite memories from playing at McGregor’s in Elmhurst, Illinois?

Tré – Demetri. Demetri was this male stripper that came onstage for some girl’s birthday at McGregor’s one night. They had her sit in this chair and the stripper did his thing for her. It was fuckin’ hilarious. In the middle of our show too. We took a timeout and let her get her strip on. I think that was the last time we played McGregor’s actually. I remember seeing State Street and I remember taking acid in Chicago. I remember going to the lake and wondering why all the fish were dead. I was inside Buckingham Fountain too. It was real hot out and I got in there during the Blues Fest. There were like a million people down there, but just one in the fountain. Of course this cop was like, “Get the fuck out of there! What are you thinking?” I was like, “I don’t know. I’m fried, dude.”

Bill – Do you have any comments regarding the rumors connecting members of Green Day to the mysterious band known as The Network?

Tré – The only connection is that their record was on Adeline, which is a label run by Billie Joe’s wife. That’s a few degrees of separation if you ask me. I think they’re getting a lot of mileage out of telling people they’re Green Day or pretending to be Green Day. The Network is not Green Day. Bastards.

Bill – Growing up I know that bands like the Ramones and The Who were very influential for you. What’s it like to now be one of the biggest influences on an entire generation of punk bands?

Tré – It’s kind of wild. Especially when younger bands meet you and they’re all nervous and stuff. You sort of get a little paternal with it, like “Ah…my children.” I feel like Michael Landon from Little House on the Prairie.

Bill – What has been the hardest part about achieving all the success you’ve attained?

Tré – I think you can pretty much choose what you want to deal with. You can choose for it to be difficult or you can enjoy it. It’s kind of up to the person.

Bill – After seven albums, what aspects of punk rock are still fresh and exciting to you?

Tré – I like seeing new bands. Bands that aren’t carbon-copied pop punk bands. Bands like Dillinger Four fuckin’ excite me. I think the Rock Against Bush compilation is a pretty damn good CD. There are some older bands on there that are still going strong and some younger bands that are real fresh and exciting too.

Bill – What does the future hold for Green Day?

Tré – I think whatever we put out next has got to be really fuckin’ good. After American Idiot we set the bar so high. It’s kind of like, “Now what are we going to do?”

[overdrivels]

Even more unsolicited resume advice

Corona has probably hit a lot of people hard and it has been a tough time for everyone, especially people who just left college to enter the work force or have been out of a job and had been looking to get back into the force. While this might not solve much, I want to provide some additional advice piggy-backing off a previous post.

<Previous Resume Advice Post>

Again, Your Mileage May Vary (YMMV) since this is entirely subjective and very US-centric. A lot of the resumes that come across my desk are for specialized jobs and higher-levels, so I’ve had a bit of a disconnect with entry-level and recent grad-level resumes. Regardless, I still want to help answer some questions that people have and hopefully give a bit of a push to help you into the jobs you want.

There’s more of this sort of stuff under the tag: ‘adult drivels’.

"What do I write for my Objectives/Summary of Qualifications?"

To be very honest, I only ever see Objectives from people trying to switch careers or from internship/entry-level resumes. At least 98% of the time, we know what your objective is. It's money. I don't care if the objective is to help save the world--believe me, I've seen enough resumes that say something along those lines (worked at a place that kind of championed that and boy is the reality nasty).

Anyway. Write a short paragraph (usually 2-3 sentences, but no longer than a full paragraph) about your skillset. Give me enough detail to want to read the rest of your resume.

Examples:

Finance student with 2 years volunteer experience in business accounting, correspondences with the Federal Reserve, and federal financial law. Specializes in XYZ, etc.

I couldn't make this any more detailed, but you get the gist of it. If not, here's another one.

Recent college graduate with experience in freelance computer repairs for Windows, Mac, and RedHat Linux. Customer-oriented from # years in customer service, and willing to learn new things especially more about network infrastructure and engineering. Currently studying to pass Network and looking to pass Security+ within the next year.  

This is just a personal nitpick, but be careful with very subjective character traits like ‘loyal’ or ‘hard-working’ or ‘effective leader’. Anyone can put that on a resume, but I need you to prove it in your resume. Some industries like this sort of self-description/self-evaluation, but I really don’t trust when people write that stuff down.

(Ex. Someone wrote they were detail-orientated and their resume was littered with typos. Mm, don’t trust like that.)

"I don't know what to write for my job experience. I don't have sales numbers or percentages like these websites are telling me."

You do. You have them, just not consciously.

You worked at Starbucks and trained newcomers? Fine.

"Trained ## new hires on all store procedures, safety, and customer service, and one was promoted to store manager with # months/one new hire won Employee of the Month/and I received formal recognition from corporate."

Or

"Created new training plan/procedures/whatever and implemented it over the course of # months, reducing the time needed for training and increasing effectiveness."

Didn't work at Starbucks? Just joined a club and helped organize a bake sale? Cool.

"Sold $# worth of merchandise for [school club] [sale] which contributed to #% increase in funding for the year's activities, allowing the club to do XYZ.

Don't have the percentage? Do a reasonable guess, or ask. Or just say it helped you guys earn your field trip to wherever. Whatever it helped do.

Didn’t do anything involving cash or numbers? No problem.

“Tutored # students at least # times a week in [subject], working with them using different teaching methods such as [example] and [example]; # students were able to pass their courses with satisfactory grades (insert grades somewhere, if you’re proud of that).”

The point is: [Action] --> [Result].

What did you do, specifically? And what was the direct result? That’s what I’m looking for.

“But I’ve never held a job. This’ll be my first one. How do I write my resume?”

That’s always tough. In this case, you’ll have to play on anything you do have. Volunteer work, school activities, extracurricular activities, personal projects, awards, personal achievements, etc. Sometimes people go for a skills-oriented resume which I don’t actually see a lot.

Basically, standard resumes have your regular stuff:

Personal Information

Summary of Qualifications/Objectives

Education

Job Experiences in chronological order

Extracurricular Activities

Skills

Awards/Certifications

Whatever else

A skills based resume usually replaces the ‘Jobs’ section with a huge-ass ‘Skills Set’ section which contains several main skills you want to highlight for the job and examples of how you demonstrated these skills.

Communication

- Corresponded and tutored students struggling in [subject] class, restructuring and explaining lessons using easy-to-understand anecdotes, resulting in students passing the class with scores of no less than a B. (This is lengthy as fuck, but you get the idea.)

- Successfully led one 24-person raid a month for 2 years in an online game where quick and clear communication and timing was vital.

So, that but multiple times until it fills out your resume.

This goes against my personal opinion about subjective traits, but if it works, it works. 

“Anything else?”

I turn my entire Word document into a table for formatting and then just hide all borders when I’m done.

Always, always export to PDF and do a test print. You never know how it’ll look on someone else’s screen or program. (Especially if you have LibreOffice or something, that really messed up the formatting sometimes.) 

I kind of like Google’s resumes, the one they have in Google doc templates.

To make different things stand out, I mess with fonts. Like sans serif for section titles and with serif for body text. Sometimes I just start going nuts with them, but not too nuts because again, it might not be a font on someone else’s computer.

To test the visual appeal of my resume, I’d usually print it out, paste it on a wall, walk away, turn around, and try to see if I can spot my name and the different section breaks instantly from a distance. If I can’t, I know I fucked up. If I can, great, formatting is clean. One thing I hate as an interviewer is searching through walls of text for important info or section breaks.

If you can, only submit as PDF. I swear, half the time, the Word doc gets mangled by the application platform that people send them through (you know, the automatic uploading thing?) It had definitely cost a few good candidates a job simply because the program mangled the resume’s formatting.

Following these steps still won’t necessarily get you the job. This is cruel, but reality. It could be your resume. It could be just because the role is meant for someone else with a different skillset. It’s not personal. You have to keep trying.

For the last time, TAILOR, TAILOR, TAILOR. You’re fighting with about 30 other people who have put in a hell of a lot of effort to get jobs. They also want the job and have been searching just as long or longer than you. You have to give yourself an edge by not blasting a generic version of your resume at the recruiter. That’s wasting our time and your own time.

Again, all of these opinions are my own and should be taken with a handful of salt and two handfuls of personal judgement.

Good luck on your searches and may the job you want be yours.

[thalankycaver]

Finally, some semblance of normality! After picking Anna up from Darlington station and driving to the Farm, a wonderful evening was had and a fine scrounged meal, with the decision being made to do a Lost John’s exchange the next day. The weather was cloudy, but not unpleasant as we changed on Leck fell, a party of five, with one first timer. We were exchanging through the Centipede and the Cathedral route, and myself and Anna were going to be descending the Centipede route. The streamway was nice and easy, and just before some cascades we clambered up into the roof tunnel, and Wassil set about rigging their first pitch. We scrambled past him, onwards towards ours. Anna rigged the first short drop, Hammer pitch. After this it was a nice walking passage, with some pretty formations, until we reached Mud pitch. Here the bolts confused me a bit since there was a set a lot higher up. But down we went, enjoying the spacious shaft. This led almost immediately to centipede, a very impressive 40ish metre drop. Singing as I rigged, it didn’t take me long to reach the bottom, where I waited for Anna to come down. From there, it was a pleasant walk along a rift passage, down some climbs. We soon reached the spot where the other three would join us, with no sign of them yet. We wandered on down till we found the next pitch, so we decided to wait back at the bottom. After five minutes of Anna putting my singing to shame with her own singing voice, we finally heard voices above. They didn’t respond to our wolf howling, much to our disappointment. After some more singing Wassil landed next to us, followed by Killian, who seemed to be loving his first trip. Rob wasn’t long after that and we headed downstream to the pitch. I rigged it and then got very confused by the rigging ahead. After some time we figured out that we just had to carry on with the rope, which led to us being a metre short (probably because of my conservative rigging). We managed to get around it, and soon we were at Battleaxe traverse. It was an imposing rift, so I was glad Rob offered to rig it. I wasn’t particularly sure how much I fancied it, and after some humming and hahhing, I followed the others along for a bit. We were stopped while Rob rigged Valhalla and descended it. The position I had stopped in was incredibly uncomfortable, which I loudly made clear to Anna, who instead of offering words of comfort, just took pictures of me instead. I decided to turn back and waited a few minutes at the start of the traverse. Anna and Killian soon came back along, and told me Wassil and Rob had descended Valhalla to look down the final pitch.

Killian was happy to be left alone for a while so Anna and I started heading back out, ascending up the first little pitch with ease. Then came the Dome pitch, which was out through an eyehole with one hell of a swing out. I managed to rope walk up very quickly, so derigging went slowly as I caught my breath. Cathedral pitch was fun as well, with a very swingy deviation for me to derig. The traverse at the top was fun as well, and soon we were up the second to last pitch, with Anna taking over on derigging, as my bag was full. At the bottom of the last pitch we heard the others above us. Damn, they’d beaten us! Up we went, and we were soon back at the streamway. Here Anna messed up by throwing her bag over a small boulder. It slipped through a hole into the stream below. She valiant crawled and squeezed her way through the steam to retrieve it, while I climbed over, listening to her anguish as she got soaked. We caught up with the others at the entrance, and headed back to the farm. A very pleasant trip, despite my not feeling too well and not enjoying Battleaxe.

At the farm Brendan soon arrived and we decided to go for a walk before dinner, since apparently caving wasn’t enough of an appetite builder. We walked over to County, and went in up to the first pitch to check if it was rigged. It was and so we headed back to the surface, to wander down the gill, stopping to watch Anna and Wassil go for a swim in Cow Dubs. At Link pot we headed up the hill towards lancs, and back to the hut for a nice meal.

The next day was the big one. A full traverse of Easegill, from Top sink to Pippikin. We said we’d leave early, but a few drinks the night before and a late bedtime meant we were setting off at about 11:30. Killian walked with us to the cave, but had a lot of work to do, so didn’t join us for the trip. So we were five, Rob, who had done it before, Brendan, Anna, Wassil, and myself. Top sink went quite quickly, reaching the first pitch in about five minutes. I descended second to last, enjoying the speed of my fig 8 descender. Rob came down and we barely had enough rope to pull through. From here Brendan led the way, through the tight passage, until we reached the next, much shorter pitch. Brendan rigged, and three ahead of me descended, and I immediately realised Brendan had rigged it wrong, not going off the y hang. Rob cursed him for putting rope rub on his nice rope, but soon we were crawling through the streamway and into the oxbows before Limerick junction. Anna “enjoyed” the traverses before the climb into Nagasaki, and we soon made our way through the big chamber towards Easter grotto. Here a small argument was had about ropes and falling on them, until Anna begrudgingly listened to us and climbed down sensibly. Another climb took us down into the Assembly hall and the streamway. From here, an easy stomp took us to Holbeck junction, and on to Stop pot. Up into the upper series we went, practically running through Main Line Terminus, and the big caverns, before stopping for a quick photography break in the Minarets. It was easy going past Oxbow corner, into we reached Stake pot, where we stopped for a quick break.

From here until Link pot was all unknown to me. We went the wrong way a few times before we ended up at Canuck climb, wondering how on Earth people had gotten the long lengths of ladder in here. From here we crawled from chamber to chamber, until Rob uttered the infamous words of “That was the routefinding crux of the trip”. We proceeded to get quite lost trying to find our way to the 88 foot pitch, crossing several sketchy traverses which Anna cursed us for having to go back over. Finally we managed to find our way there, and I was the last down the spectacular pitch down to the Wormway. This was the part I was least looking forward to, a long crawl in the streamway. To my pleasant surprise, a good chunk of it was just stooping, and after a short section of crawling we were at Echo Aven. It took a little while to ascend this, but soon we were making our way through to Hylton hallway. I led the way through Pybus bypass, and on to Link crawl. This was actually the most unpleasant part of the trip, pushing through the Wet Wallows, and through the gravely crawl towards the Muddy wallows. We regrouped at Dusty Junction, getting several chocolate bars down us as we got ready for the ascent out of Pip. The thought of heading out of Mistral crossed my mind, but I decided I wouldn’t be this close to finishing the traverse again for a while, so I decided to press on. The crawling and walking passage took us through to Hall of the Ten, and through the boulders to Pip. The first pitch was simple enough, but then came the rift traverse. Anna didn’t enjoy the fact that you had to wedge yourself in, but persevered heroically. The short climb up was also a challenge for her, and I was used as a ladder, including one point where she stood on my head to get some height in the tight rift. Then up another pitch took us to the first of the four squeezes, off the stemple. The others seemed to manage it with ease, so it was clearly my time to struggle. I wriggled and puffed, trying to get through the squeeze. Inch by inch I moved, until I finally gave up a bit and asked them to pull me through, Winnie the Pooh style. I popped out like a cork and lay there exhausted for a minute while the others ascended the pitch. Finally it was my turn, and at the top I crawled through to the next squeeze, thrutching my way through, with only a small pull from Wassil to get me through. At the bottom of the next pitch I waited till the pitch head was clear, since the next squeeze was immediately after it.

At this point I was almost giddy with happiness. I was so close, only about 20 metres to the surface! Once the squeeze was free I headed up, and into it, getting through with only minor difficulty. From here it was just one more squeeze and a crawl to the entrance pitch. Anna waited for me past the last squeeze, which I was thankful for, since due to exhaustion and my long legs, I struggled to get purchase in the squeeze, having to take several breathers before popping out the other side. From here we scrambled over the scaf bar, and whooped as we entered the final crawl. Anna went up the entrance pitch first, leaving me as the last out the cave. It’s one hell of a feeling to be back on the surface after nine hours underground, and we even still had daylight. Anna quoted Edmund Hillary, “We knocked the bastard off!” It was a long, arduous and thoroughly bruising trip, but also a satisfying and enjoyable one too! One I will definitely be doing it again, though definitely not soon.

[yourkimjaejin]

NCT AG Channel - AG Daily - Welcome To The Jungle Dance Practice

Hello AGzen’s!!! Here is the AG WTTJ dance practice video. This post also includes little moments from the girls in the other Resonance(album) dance practice videos. 

Hope you enjoy!! ~ Love Author Izzy

The camera catches a shot of the girls practicing in high heel boots. The captions explain that once the girls feel comfortable with a dance they try in the heels just to make sure they feel comfortable in different shoes. 

A shot of the girls stretching before the choreographer gets in. 

Moxy: We all needed to stop for coffee this morning cause we stayed up playing Marvel’s Ultimate Alliance. We’re only on the second game but we’ve been having a ton of fun playing it. So much that we forgot we had practice this morning *laughs*

Their choreographer walks in and all the girls hug him. The choreographer who did WTTJ also did the choreography for Breakout. 

The AG daily cameras shoot they girls beginning to learn the dance for WTTJ. AGzen’s get to see how quickly they pick up dances. 

The original choreo for the rap section had the girls kneeling on the floor. When their verse came up they would stand up. Juno didn’t like and neither did the girls. So their choreographer worked with the girls to come up with dance moves for the rap section

The clips change to another WTTJ dance practice, keen eyed czennies noticed that Moxy walked into practice in one of Haechan’s bucket hats. 

AG Daily cameras got a shot of Moxy teaching her members the dance to make a wish. 

Aurora - Moxy noona has to be tired. She just left a dance practice for NCT U. I just want to make sure she isn’t overworking and she won’t get hurt. 

Juno walking around with Aurora clinging to her back. 

Moxy and Hannah monitoring the practice they just filmed

Hannah: Nono make sure during second hook, when we fan out, take one medium step instead of a big one. 

WTTJ starts to play as the girls practice the dance again. 

A clip of girls taking a break, all of them singing their hearts out to Josslyn by Olivia O’Brien. 

The video cuts to another dance practice. The girls this time were all in sports bras and leggings. 

A: If you were in Disney’s Descendants, What would your parent/parents be?

J: That depends. Are we talking according to our own heritage or just who we want? 

A: Let’s say its a free for all. Disney contacted us and wants in a Descendants movie and we get to pick our characters. What would you choose?

H: Well, personally I would choose Moana

Everyone: BOO!!!!!

H: *throws sweaty shirt in their direction* SHUT UP!!! I wasn’t finished. I would be Maui’s daughter but without the arrogance.

J: You just wanna be related to the Rock.....

H: I- will not deny that. 

Everyone bursts out in laughter

Another shot of the girls practicing the choreography during the rap section. The official audio is matched to the video

Moxy Could I possibly like do different NCT choreo’s during the ‘Do ya dance’ line?

A shot of Moxy practicing that part with the Bad Alive choreo

The video cuts to a shot of the girls putting on different shoes. 

Hannah: *holds up the black high heel boots* It’s Time!!! We always do this. Just to make sure we can do the dance in any shoes they give us and not break an ankle *She sighs* wish us luck

The cameras films them dancing in the heels to WTTJ, the song playing in the background. The banner for NCT 2020′s Beyond Live pops up during this montage. 

The camera cuts to a clip of the girls laughing as Mark walks out of the room to Aurora’s screams

Aurora: YOU DON’T JUST BARGE INTO MY PRACTICE TO RUFFLE MY HAIR OPPA!!!

Mark: I DO WHAT I WANT MEAN MUG!!!

The final shot of the video is of the girls finishing the dance, the clip synced up with the ending of the song. 

And now, Here are some moments of the girls in other dance practices! Enjoy:

Resonance Dance Practice

The girls walking in for there groups practice for the mama performance. Several members attacking them before they even get past the door. 

Sungchan: Noona! *hugs Moxy*

Chenle: *attacks Aurora*

Yangyang: *attached himself to Hannah’s side*

Yuta: *messing with Juno’s hair*

Chenle knowing all the choreo to WTTJ like the NCTzen he is...

The boys simultaneously holding their breath when AG practiced the death drop. Some of them flinching on impact

Aurora mouthing along to Mark’s rap during the 90′s love section

Juno and Hannah reaching out for one another (like lost lovers) from their positions in the Resonance formation

Make A Wish Dance Practice

Moxy showing up to the first MAW dance practice in an oversized black shirt, black biker shorts and black nikes. When she walked in, the boys were hollering over her exposed legs.

Jaemin: SeXy!!!

Moxy: *blushes* Shut UP!!

The MAW choreographer checking with Moxy to make sure she’s ok with the dance moves. 

Moxy resting against Doyoung’s back

The boys ‘oooo’ing when Moxy brings out the high heels to practice. 

Taeyong and Jaehyun keeping an eye on her, making sure she doesn’t fall or injure herself

Work It Dance Practice

This ENTIRE video is Yuta and Johnny coddling Aurora like their shared baby

Yuta: She’s my little sister

Johnny: NO she’s MY little sister

Aurora: How about I don’t belong to anyone??

Johnny/Yuta: *Looking at Aurora like shes crazy*

Aurora: Where is Mark when you need him....

Jaemin helping Aurora nail some of the moves

Ten and Yuta including Aurora in their ad-lib part towards the end of the song

90′s Love Dance Practice

Hannah getting attacked by Ten and Yangyang before she can walk thru the door

Ten/Yangyang: Yēzi!!!!!  (coconut in Chinese)

Hannah: Hi Ten-ge!! Yangie! *ruffles Yangyang’s hair*

Hannah greeting the choreographer with the other members

Hannah’s giggle when she and the other members vote Winwin as the leader of their group against his will

Winwin: Hannahhhh, you’re not supposed to side with them!

Hannah: Sorry not sorry, Ten-ge’s got a point. You have seniority here

The camera didn’t catch it but you can hear Hannah singing along to Ice Cream

[liquidthepartlydefunctblog]

Red Vs Blue- Oh oh, Oreo

A Red Vs Blue fanfic in which two soldiers attempt to sate their hunger.

Pre Season 1. Flowers is dead but no Lopez, Caboose, or Donut. Contains language because RvB.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dick Simmons was currently stuck in a 10ft hole in the ground digging through various packaged foodstuffs. His partner Dexter Grif had convinced him that since they had been on guard duty for several hours now, they were legally obligated a break. He had also convinced him that the best way to spend this break was to go and raid the food storage for Oreos. Simmons wasn't sure if American laws applied wherever this infernal gulch was, nor why the military considered Oreos a vital supply, but he thought he could do with a break. It wasn't like anything ever happened while they were on watch anyway. As it turned out though, this 'break' actually meant a different kind of work. Since the base was only comprised of one room, Sarge had decided that the best place to store supplies was under the ground. Thus whenever any of them required food, they were forced to dig their way down since Sarge insisted on refilling these holes with sand each time they were opened. Something about the blues being "vultures". Simmons had managed to make his way into the food storage, though Grif didn't provide a great deal of help. In the end however it seemed his efforts were for nought, as there was not an Oreo pack in sight. Simmons called up towards his lazy co-worker.

"We don't have any!"

"What the hell? I swear to God the shipment only came in yesterday..."

Simmons put his hands on his hips and cast Grif a stern glare through his helmet.

"What were you doing last night?"

"...patrolling the canyon?"

Simmons maintained his gaze, eventually causing Grif to crack.

"Okay fine! I was watching the cricket! C'mon man, do you expect me to watch sport without Beer and Oreos?"

"Cricket? What the hell were you watching that for?"

"I wanted to watch the Falcons take on the Giants, but the TV here can't get any American broadcasts. So I took a look through the channels and figured "Cricket. That's just baseball with British people right?"."

"Grif. Have you ever actually played cricket or baseball?"

"Pffft, who the hell plays sport? You're just mad because I'm more cultured than you. The game sucked anyway, nobody ever got past second base. Idiots kept going backwards."

Simmons looked down and shook his head with a sigh.

"And in this time you managed to get through an entire shipment of Oreos and beer?"

Grif crossed his arms in disapproval.

"It was a long game okay. And what kind of guy do you take me for? An entire shipment of beer?"

This provoked a response from Simmons that was equal parts confused and oddly proud.

"Wait you mean you didn't drink the-"

"I just drank the alcoholic beer. That's only like half the shipment."

Simmons pride was immediately replaced with shame, though if he was ashamed of Grif for doing what he did, or himself for associating with Grif, he could not tell.

"Grif. You still murdered your liver! Hold on. This is a military installation, where the fuck did you get beer?"

"I have my methods."

"Grif..."

"It really is amazing what you can get into a military installation when it has literally no security whatsoever."

"Fine, keep being vague. You owe me one of those though."

Simmons pulled himself out of the hole along with his shovel.

"C'mon we need to fill this thing up."

Simmons began filling the storage facility with sand, yet his orange comrade remained in place.

"Are you gonna help?"

"I'm supervising."

"Supervising? It's a fucking hole, just help me shovel dirt into it."

"And what if you fall into the hole and break your legs? You'll need somebody to go and report that so somebody else lower down in the chain of command can get you out."

"How does holding a shovel impact your ability to do any of that?"

"Seriously Simmons, safety first."

After finally refilling the hole, Simmons turned to face his failure of a workmate.

"Well, we wasted our break digging and refilling a hole, and we didn't even get any Oreos out of it. Good job asshole."

"Okay, Simmons, I know this looks bad. But I think we can still get Oreos out of this, while technically working."

"What, you gonna start up a factory? Make your own knock-off brand? Sorry to burst your bubble Grif, but we don't exactly have the knowledge, materials, or legal aid to do that."

"Just listen. The blues are a military unit too right."

"Right."

"So surely they should have some kind of food shipments. Including Oreos of course. All we need to do is tell Sarge they're getting ready to attack, then he'll try to get the jump on them by attacking first. Thereby giving us an excuse to be at blue base. All we need to do from there is head right in and grab what we can."

"That... actually makes an uncharacteristic amount of sense."

"You know it does. Now get on the radio to Sarge."

Grif and Simmons gave eachother a short nod as their sergeant approached. Simmons had informed Sarge that the blues were plotting to attack red base tomorrow, thus causing the red leader to prepare a scheme of his own.

"Gentlemen. Simmons has told me about those dirty blues' diabolical plot, and I have decided that to protect our beloved base and flag from attack, we're going on the offensive."

Simmons and Grif stood in unusual silence.

"Ya got anything to say about that Private Grif? Any disrespectful remarks or acts of insubordination?"

"Absolutely not sir."

"Excellent. I see my teachings are finally being drilled into you! My only regret is the violence and abuse it took to get there..."

"...Thank you...sir?"

"Of course it was a particularly effective method, all the shotgun shells and beatings. And you were a particularly awful soldier and human... Looking back I don't really regret it at all. Maybe one more for good measure."

Grif let out a high pitched scream as Sarge battered him to the ground with a single blow from the edge of his shotgun to Grif's head.

"Now then. We'll charge at them in a triangular formation. You two will stay at front, directly ahead of me. This means if they fire at us you should provide an effective shield while I contemplate the best course of action. You got that men?"

"Sir, yes sir." Simmons responded with a hearty salute.

Grif however remained on the floor, simply letting out a groan of pain. Sarge looked down at him.

"Back to your insubordinate ways huh? In that case I think we'd best charge in single file with you at the front."

Grif let out another groan.

The red team let out a loud battlecry as they charged towards blue base. The group was once singlefile, but had since devolved into a mess of individual soldiers. When they made it within attacking distance, Sarge gestured at his team to stop moving and called out to the enemy team.

"Attention blue team. This is the red team. Prepare for your imminent demise."

Two voices could be heard bickering inside the base.

"Just go up there already!"

"Why the hell should I have to deal with those assholes?"

"Because I'm the leader, I gotta stay back here and make tactical decisions."

"You're not the leader! We're the same goddamn rank!"

"Yeah well that's not the point here. The point is, you always say how much of a smooth talker you are, so go smoothtalk the reds! Just get out there and negotiate with them or something!"

"Me? But you're the leader, shouldn't you be in charge of negotiating?"

"Fine! I'll talk to them. You're coming up too though!"

A cobalt soldier with a sniper rifle made his way to the top of the blue base, with a teal soldier walking up behind him. The cobalt soldier lifted up his rifle and pointed it at Sarge.

"Okay assholes, get the hell away from our base."

He fired several shots meant for the red sergeant, all of which missed. Simmons leaned over and whispered to Grif.

"This is our chance. Come on."

The two ran away from the ensuing 'battle' and around to the side of blue base.

"Okay. Now we just have to find their food storage. I'll start digging here, you try that green patch over there."

"Uh, Simmons, don't you wanna try inside?"

"What? No! What idiot would waste valuable space like that."

Grif's shoulders sagged.

"You really need to stop listening to Sarge dude."

Simmons glared at him for a moment before relenting. The two walked inside the base to find a poorly organised shelf with a post it note reading "Food" in lazily scrawled handwriting stuck to it. The pair began digging through the supplies in an attempt to find the coveted biscuits.

After a while of searching Simmons turned around to see Grif fearfully backing away from the shelf.

"Grif? What's wrong?"

Grif's tone was a nervous one.

"Take a look."

Simmons moved over to Grif's section of the shelf. He grabbed a blue package and let out a depressed sigh as he read out the label.

"'Tesco Value - Vanilla cookies'"

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Don't steal knockoff Oreos. It's wrong.

[caps-lockdown]

Operation: Man Flu

Alright guys here it is the first part of my new series! I thought of this awhile ago but my life has been absolutely bonkers lately and I didn’t have a chance to get started on it til now! I hope ya’ll enjoy this insane and (hopefully funny) romp I’ve come up with.

Tagging @kaytizzle and @cuffski for now, let me know in the comments if you would like to be tagged for future parts!

Summary: As a hacker nobody agent of S.H.I.E.L.D you get roped into what might possibly be your worst nightmare come to life. Will you survive the long weekend? Will you have a chance to get closer to a certain reserved Captain during this extremely stressful (and hilarious) situation?

Pairings: Steve x Shield Agent Female Reader!

Words: 3,397

Ratings/Warnings: I’m going to put hard R here for the whole thing because there’s going to be cussing, mentions of sickness, alcohol consumption, physical fights, mental breakdowns. Jealousy, love triangles (sort of), angst, drama, and lots of crude humor. Just strap in.

Also no Beta so my mistakes are my only thing to claim, I don’t own any characters either, with the exception of the reader, a doctor, and some random characters here and there.

It is in Y/N (Your Name) L/N (Last Name) format. Enjoy!

 Part One

“Y/N I need more water!”

“Y/N my eyes hurt!”

“Y/N can you tell Bucky and Tony to shut the hell up? I’m trying to sleep off this headache!”

“Shut up Wilson!”

Pinching the bridge of your nose, nostrils flaring, you released a slow and irritated breath. The shouting was coming from the makeshift quarantine section in the Tower. Never in a million years would you be able to guess that this was going to be your job at some point. In fact, you would have laughed in anyone’s face if they told you that at some point in your life you would be stuck in Stark Tower taking care of a bunch of sick and over dramatic man children. This was supposed to be your weekend in. You were supposed to be comfy and cozy surrounded by happy things, not a bunch of sick cry babies. You were so getting a raise when all of this was over.

You looked to the ceiling praying to anyone upstairs for just a small moment of peace. The moment of peace could come in the form of a giant mallet to knock all of the whiny men in the next room unconscious. Perhaps a dart gun with Nyquil loaded ammunition? Anything to help you cope with being stuck with this lot of ill idiots for the next 48 hours. Why of all people did it have to be you? You were not someone that saw The Avengers in close quarters, you were sort of work friends, but you never thought your friendship would be put to the test quite like this. Who were they to ask this of you anyway? It’s not like you have any medical experience. Hell you get squeamish just thinking about blood. You rarely got sick. You cried watching Grey’s anatomy for cripes’ sake! You must have been cursed by some otherworldly power. Loki was messing with you. That had to be it. You were sure that had to be the reason behind this cruel and unusual punishment.

“Y/N BUCKY KEEPS STARING AT ME!”

“Well you keep sounding like you’re gonna puke Stark! And if you puke I puke! So don’t puke!”

“Damn I need a drink.” You uttered before squaring your shoulders and heading back into the fray. When did it all go to hell in a hand basket?

~~Friday Morning~~

0600

The crisp early autumn air made its way into your room from your half opened window. The birds chirping slowly woke you from your slumber as your eyes opened to take in the leaves changing colors on the trees outside. The smell of coffee starting to brew at your small desk invaded your senses and you smiled out to the rising sun in a good mood.

Your alarm clock went off which caused you to scream and nearly throw it out the window, groaning as you heard the rumble of the Quinjet touching down a few floors up. So much for a quiet, easy day. They were back early.

Dragging yourself out of bed, you hastily threw on your uniform and secured your hair up, reaching for your travel mug to hold your life juice as you sloshed it into the container and headed out the door.

Life hadn’t always been this fast paced for you. You were never a morning person, and even though it had been years that you have been with S.H.I.E.L.D, these caffeine fuelled mornings were something that never got easier with time. Being an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D just wasn’t a picnic for you most days, but you certainly had it better than some of the others in your line of work. You weren’t one of the people willing to put their life on the line out in the field. In fact it was the complete opposite. You were behind the scenes, knee deep in technology. Hacking files, constantly bypassing security, you name it. You never had to leave the comfort of your own country. It was hard work, but it was also your calling. It had been since you were a teenager in high school. It was a habit that got you caught several times breaking into the school security systems, changing when the bell would ring so you and your friends could get out a few minutes early. Especially during Geometry with Miss. Wilkins.

You had been given a scholarship to New York City College of Technology after you graduated high school and you packed your bags and moved from your small town in Ohio to the beautiful state of New York. After graduating in record time with high marks you were recruited by Agent Coulson to join S.H.I.E.L.D. You accepted without any hesitation (Along with constant reassurance to your always worried mother that you would not actually be in the field. Ever.)

After a few years, and more importantly the battle of New York, Nick Fury created a small unit specifically trained to work alongside The Avengers. It was truly amazing getting to move into the Tower, always being there in case of emergencies. Which there often were plenty of. You were under the command of Agent Keaton, your unit possessing a mere ten agents total. No one knew who you were, or what you did, except The Avengers and a small number of others. You were shadows, able to breach the toughest security, get what you needed, and get out without a trace. Or in most cases, get Earth’s Mightiest Heroes into places they previously didn’t have access to. Everyone called you “The Ghosts of Stark Tower”. The hours were sometimes long, missions often stressful, but it suited you just fine. One of the many upsides was knowing that you were making a difference in this messed up world.

The down side was these way too early mornings. At least it was Friday and you could look forward to the three day holiday weekend ahead of you. It was Labor Day weekend which meant that after today you wouldn’t have to return to work until the following Tuesday, unless an earth shattering catastrophe happened. Trudging your way down the hallways your mind drifted to the future that awaited you at 1800 hours. All you had planned was a giant fort of blankets and pillows to call sanctuary as you caught up on the six books that sat unloved in a box by your bed. They were feeling extremely neglected since you had gotten most of them as birthday gifts, which had been some time ago now.

Stepping into the elevator you let out a wistful sigh as it began to climb the few floors leading to the floor that held the landing pad for the Quinjet. Smiling to yourself as you day dreamed about being nestled in a blanket cocoon and not seeing a soul for 72 hours, you couldn’t stop in time and ran smack into Sam Wilson as you exited the elevator and took a sharp turn. His back of toned muscles acted as a wall as it threw you backwards and onto the floor with a loud and ungraceful oomfph.

“Shit. Sorry Y/N. My head isn’t on straight today.” He offered a hand to help you up which you gladly took, pulling yourself up and pretending to brush yourself off.

“It’s fine Sam. Ya miss Bucky that much?”

“Ha. Ha. Ya I missed him like a hole in the head.” You snickered as the two of you made your way down the hall together.

Sam Wilson and you went way back. Back to before you were working (usually) with the Avengers. Back when you were just starting out and he wasn’t cleared for all the “fun” missions, as he called it. Those were the days when you trained together, ate together. Hell you even shared a bed together. It was only once, and nothing romantic happened, but you two only got closer because of it. You didn’t know where you would be without him in your life. He always seemed to know what to say to make you feel better after a hard day, and he always had you laughing. It usually bummed you out when he went along for missions, so you were extra thankful he opted to stay behind this past week when they announced a new mission would take place. It had been nice spending time with each other outside of work hours, catching up, shooting the breeze.

He was one of the only people here that seemed to see you for everything that you were. With the exception of today of course.

“Any issues with the mission? Why are they back two days early?”

Sam raised an eyebrow as you reached the double doors that lead outside to the landing pad.

“Now how did you know they were supposed to be back in two days? That was classified information L/N.” You quickly shot your eyes to the ground, releasing a heavy sigh.

“I…I may have hacked into the mission details…”

The look Sam gave you made you bite your lower lip in embarrassment before he merely shook his head in response.

“Damn Y/N, you should have come with a warning label. If you missed Steve that much you could have just called him.” You swatted his arm as he pushed the door open for you, the fresh air hitting you in the face and causing your eyes to water.

Sam had known about your small crush on Steve Rogers, otherwise known to many as Captain America, since the first time you had met the larger than life super soldier. He pegged you as a giddy school girl from the gate and you found yourself threatening his life on a weekly basis to keep his mouth shut about the whole thing. Steve and you had a professional work related friendship, nothing more. It’s not like what you and Sam had, and you had come to accept that it never would be that. Or more, no matter how often you caught yourself thinking about it.

“Why would I miss Steve Rogers when Sam Wilson has been here to keep me company?” You batted your eyelashes at him, causing the man to chuckle as you neared the group of fellow agents that were gathered around the jet.

“Nice try slick, but I’m still telling Tony you broke into the mission files. Again.”

You pouted at him but he only clicked his tongue at you.

“I swear Tony just needs to give you a raise already and put you in charge of that tech stuff here. His old ass mind is clearly slipping.”

“You suck Wilson. I was only worried.”

“Worried ol’ Blue eyes was gonna take a dirt nap? Come on Y/N,  he’s stronger than that.”

“Actually I was worried for Tony and his,” you made air quotations “Old ass mind”

You and Sam’s laughter was quickly silenced as the jet ramp lowered and you watched Steve Rogers exit, a deathly pale Tony leaning on him as they disembarked.

“Shit. He looks worse than normal. Pepper is gonna pitch a fit when she sees him.” Sam remarked, the team headed towards you.

Your eyes couldn’t help but dance across the Team’s faces. They all looked beat. Thor and Bruce seemed deep in conversation, their hushed voices angrily biting at each other. Clint kept quiet, focusing his vision forward and not looking at anyone. You noticed Nat and Wanda were missing, only for a moment before you realized they were on a separate mission elsewhere. They were slated to come back sometime next week.

Your vision drifted over to Tony, taking in his sickly appearance. The color was drained from his face, the area around his eyes dark and his body too weak to walk very far. Bucky walked to his left, his worried expression evident as they neared you and Sam through the crowd.

You quickly snapped your line of sight to Captain Rogers, your pulse picking up just a little at the sight of him. His uniform was still in really good shape considering how ragged he was looking. Apparently he had forgotten his razor or something because his facial hair had grown a considerable amount since they had been gone. His strong jaw was set tightly, his lips in a thin line while his large intimidating frame effortlessly helped the injured billionaire along.

“Why do I have a feeling my weekend plans just got cancelled?” You grumbled, clearing a path for the Captain as the rest of the team followed behind him, none of them sparing you a look. You were used to it by now.

“Wilson, debrief. Now.” Rogers’ voice boomed with authority and you couldn’t help but grimace in Wilson’s direction.

“Sorry Sam, tough luck.”

“L/N you too.”

Jumping at the acknowledgement you cast a worried glance to Sam who merely shrugged before picking up his pace to catch up to the group headed into the building. That could not be good at all. You followed after him, struggling to keep your mind calm with all the questions currently swimming in it. It didn’t take you long to reach the small conference room, paramedics cutting off your journey about halfway to take Tony into the medical bay to run tests.

You quickly took a seat next to Sam, everyone at the table looking to Steve for answers you were fairly certain he didn’t have. It didn’t mean you couldn’t admire his tall, gorgeous body though as he stood in front of all of you. Nope, you’d drink in the sight of him any day and any time you could. It wasn’t illegal to look after all, even if most of the time he saw right through you. Just like a ghost.

“Look L/N, I’m going to give you the extremely short version,” Steve started, blue eyes staring into yours and you could only bring yourself to nod. His voice was hard, short, he was clearly on edge with worry.

“Might as well shorten it even more Rogers, L/N here already hacked the mission files. She knows the mission.”

You could only give Sam a “What the hell?” look, trying not to let the disappointed sigh that came from Steve’s lips sink into your stomach like a boulder of guilt.

“As much as I want to be angry with you L/N, I need to know how much you know. It might help speed things up so we can get to work faster.”

All eyes seemed to shift to you as you began to fidget with the edge of the table, training your eyes to stay focused on the smooth wood surface as you recalled the details you briefly scanned last week.

“You were all sent to Tal-q’eiek to retrieve an energy source for another planet…Mon…mon something..who’s current environmental health is unstable. The planet’s self defense measures made most of the planet toxic to keep predators from other neighboring worlds away.” You started, looking up at the people around the table as they all nodded in agreement.

“ You were made special suits and would split up into teams to search the planet for the energy source. You were sent out of your element considering Danvers was unavailable to join you, as well as Quill and his team being currently MIA as well.” Taking a deep breath you couldn’t help but notice the smallest of smiles on Steve’s face as you finished divulging what you knew.

“Correct L/W, I’m always impressed by your sharp memory.” Steve complimented you and you had to grasp the chair to make sure you wouldn’t fall out of it. It was the first and so far only time Captain Rogers had made a positive comment in your direction. Usually he was far too busy to pay you or any of the other Ghosts of Stark Tower any mind. Not that you could blame him. If you were being honest, you didn’t even think he knew your first name for the first two years you worked together.

“So based on your knowledge, what conclusion can you come to on your own?” Thor pried, your gaze moving to catch his.

“ My assumption is that Tony was simply  in the wrong place at the wrong time and managed to inhale some of the toxic air of the planet, and that’s why you had to come back early. Because he’s showing symptoms of a sickness and you didn’t know what to do.”

“Two for two L/W, well done.”You felt a swell of undeserving pride at Steve’s words, wondering if this was to be your Christmas gift or something. Two compliments in one day? Within minutes of each other? You most certainly weren’t complaining but it did make you a bit nervous, especially when those beautiful blue eyes weren’t leaving yours.

“So now what? We just wait for the doctors to come back and tell us Tony is going to be ok?” Sam’s voice broke you out of your trance, Steve clearing his throat and Thor nodding in agreement.

“Unfortunate, but until we know more there isn’t anything to be done.” The other blonde’s deep voice boomed and you couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of dread.

“I don’t understand why I was needed here…” You trailed off, Bruce chuckling at your statement causing you to blush with embarrassment.

“You never know when we may need a Ghost on our side Y/N.” Bucky smiled at you, giving you a small wink.

“Yea besides,” Clint continued, “We actually like you. You’re not some stuck up, loud mouthed, cocky know it all like some of the others.”

“You shouldn’t talk about Tony like that, after all he’s the one sick right now.”

Your comment earned you a chorus of laughter.

“I’m gonna put that in Stark’s Christmas card this year.” Sam got out in between laughs, patting you on the back.

“That’s my Y/N, always one with the fast quips.”

His statement caused you to beam in response, allowing yourself to be grabbed in a small side hug. The expression on Steve’s face was a bit puzzling to you as you looked at him, but no sooner had it appeared, it was gone.

What seemed to be hours passed, but your eyes shot up at the sound of one of the doctors on standby walking into the conference room, her HASMAT suit creating a hideous scratching noise against the floor as she moved. You recognized her as Doctor Kelly Hooper, she had been working for Stark for years. She was a short and stout woman, with dark blonde hair that was always up in a tight bun on top of her head.

“What’s the diagnosis Doctor?” Clint tried, his voice humorless despite the poor attempt at a joke.

“Firstly, you should know that Mister Stark is going to be alright.”

The entire table collectively sighed in relief at the Doctor’s news, a huge weight seemingly being lifted off of everyone’s shoulders. You and Tony didn’t always see eye to eye on things, but you still respected the hell out him, and definitely didn’t want him dying anytime soon.

“However, there is some bad news.” The older woman continued, turning her attention to Steve.

“He’s going to be sick the next forty eight to seventy two hours, and will need constant care. He’s going to experience the worst equivalent of the flu we’ve seen in years. Fever, vomiting, dehydration, chills, extreme pain, and maybe even hallucinations. What’s also troublesome is we don’t have the proper staff to take care of him, as most of the day and night crew have left for holiday, and we can’t risk taking him to a hospital where it might spread.”

“Got it, can it get any worse than babysitting a sick Tony?” Bucky groaned out, his head hitting the table.

“Actually it can Mister Barnes. I’m afraid the illness he has contracted from the foreign planet is very peculiar in the fact that it only seems to attack beings with the combination of XY chromosomes.”

“Doc, are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Bucky suddenly looked up at Doctor Hooper, who had now locked eyes with the winter solider before nodding her head.

“That’s right Mister Barnes, any male who has come within contact with Mister Stark within the last twenty four hours has a seventy five to eighty five percent chance of falling ill as well.”

[wordsmith-in-purple]

The Phantom of the Odd-pera: Ch. 1

Summary: The time: 1881. The place: The Opera Populaire, the glittering jewel in the diadem of the Paris skyline. The players: Orchid, who wants the spotlight. Xena, who wants to keep it for herself. Oprah, who wants to keep everyone safe. Ori, who wants to keep his crush safe. Oona, who wants to keep her BFF safe. Oscar, who wants to do his job. Xavier, who wants the same. Olive and Otto, who want to leave the past behind them. Olympia and Otis, who want to preserve both the present and the future. And the Phantom, who... well... perhaps it would be better if we didn’t know what he wants.

Chapter Warnings: Falling objects, religious imagery

Word Count: 3451

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"How long has it been again?"

Otis dug a watch out of his pocket and gave it a glance. "Longer than we expected," he answered, met with a groan from Olympia. Otis couldn't say he blamed his best friend. She'd dragged them here, to the Opera Populaire, about an hour before they technically officially took over ownership and management of the place. About fifteen minutes had passed since their appointment was supposed to have taken place. Olympia had been spending that time pacing up and down the corridor, humming tunes from her favorite operas to herself, expelling the energy that constantly seemed to bubble from within her heart. This section of the place was almost entirely deserted, aside from the occasional stagehand - or maybe it was the same stagehand; it always seemed to be a redhead - dashing by. And yet, there was the constant feeling that someone, something, was there with Otis and Olympia, watching their every move…

Otis shook off his fears and took another look at his watch. What was taking them so long?

The office door swung open. Olympia's glasses nearly flew off her face as she turned to face the tall young man in the door. "Sorry about the wait," he said with a warm, friendly expression. "Olive and I got lost in conversation."

"It's not really a problem, Otto," Otis said as he gave Otto's hand a single firm shake. "We really can't thank you enough."

Olympia bunched herself up beside Otis. "Can't help but notice how deserted this place is," she said in the tone Otis recognized as curious without being explicit about it.

Otto seemed to pick up on Olympia's curiosity. "Oh, the dress rehearsal for Hannibal is happening as we speak," he explained. "Come on in, and let's get this paperwork signed!"

As Otis entered the near-immaculate office - the current managers must have already cleared out their personal belongings - he noted a young woman sitting at one end of the large desk, her chestnut hair done in a simple bun. She looked up as Otto led Otis and Olympia inside. "Thanks for coming in on such short notice," she said in a polite, professional tone.

"You're welcome!" said Olympia with a wide grin. "It's an honor to be here, really it is, Madame Olive. You couldn't be leaving the opera house in more capable hands!"

"I'm counting on it," said Olive, a slight smirk slipping onto her face. "We have the paperwork all ready. Just sign here, here, and here, and we'll be good to go."

Otis took the pen Otto held out to him, scribbled a signature on one of the documents, and passed it to Olympia. She took her time with an elegant signature, one containing a fair amount of loops. The second signature she made was slightly different, and the third little more than a straight set of loops. Typical Olympia, Otis thought with a tiny grin. Always finding a way to make the mundane fun.

"Congratulations," Otto said as he collected the papers. "Now let's go introduce you guys to the cast and crew."

"Aren't they in rehearsal right now?" Otis asked as he stood once more.

Olive stood up and moved to the front of the desk. "Rehearsal should be winding down. We'll find a quiet moment to interrupt," she explained.

"Sounds good to me!" said Olympia, her face exploding in a smile.

Olive and Otto led Otis and Olympia out of the office, down the corridor, and eventually into the front of the house. As they quietly slipped through the doors, the first thing Otis noticed was the chandelier. A beautiful affair of crystal beads and golden vines, it beamed from above the seats, rocking ever-so-slightly back and forth. A high-pitched note hit Otis's ears, and he turned his attention to the stage. There, a shortish woman in an elaborate outfit, complete with full skirt and headpiece, sang cadenzas over a severed head crowned with a wreath of leaves. 

"Perfect timing," Olive whispered. "We'll only have to wait a couple minutes before this scene ends."

Olympia gave a little gasp upon looking at the stage. "Is that…"

"Xena Giudicelli," Otto explained in a loudish whisper. "She's been our leading lady for five seasons. I should warn you guys, she can really be a diva when she wants to be. Really expensive tastes…"

"We've handled worse," Otis shrugged as the orchestral accompaniment began with a flourish and the landscape of Carthage became visible onstage. The chorus and corps de ballet filed on, in elaborate (and surprisingly skimpy) outfits of red and green, with a heavy dose of gold trim. The chorus rang out, a tune very familiar to Otis: 

"With feasting and dancing and song Tonight in celebration We greet the victorious throng Returned to bring salvation The trumpets of Carthage resound Hear, Romans, now and tremble Hark to our step on the ground Hear the drums, Hannibal comes!"

The chorus line parted to reveal a man in exquisitely detailed armor, including a ridiculously large feather in his helmet. "Xavier Piangi," Olive explained, still whispering. "Our lead tenor, and Xena's boyfriend. He's almost as bad as she is, if you want to talk about being a diva."

"Shh! He's singing!" Olympia was right; Xavier had begun his solo section of the scene. His voice, while powerful, seemed to be simply going through the motions of the music, without finding any amount of emotion in his part.

"Sad to return to find the land we love Threatened once more by Roma's far-reaching grasp-"

Someone with a mustache dashed onstage as the music ground to a halt. Olive and Otto let out a simultaneous groan.

"What's wrong?" Olympia asked, a cloud of concern darkening her normally-bright features.

Olive pressed her palm to her face. "It's nothing," she said evasively.

Otto shook his head. "There's nothing wrong with Obfusco, he's just… well…" "He's recently become interested in… certain poets. We can't get a straight sentence out of him anymore. Everything's a metaphor for something else."

Otis nodded, his attention firmly on the events onstage. "Roma is the muddied path compared to Rome's clear sunset…" Mustache Guy - Obfusco, apparently - was musing.

Xavier interrupted, "I get it. I'll sing it the boring way." His speaking voice was almost as emotionless as his singing voice.

Obfusco started offstage, adding, "Let the grasshoppers commence at the sorrowful reunion!"

"How… how do you understand him?" Olympia said, her eyes as wide as her mouth.

"It's mostly context clues," said Olive with a sigh and another shake of her head. Xavier began singing again:

"Sad to return to find the land we love Threatened once more by Rome's far-reaching grasp Tomorrow we shall break the chains of Rome Tonight rejoice, your army has come home-ah!"

"He, uh, doesn't take kindly to criticism," Otto explained with a nervous smile as the leads stepped to the side of the stage while the ballet girls began to dance. An older woman in a black dress and holding a cane observed the dance, her dark eyes scrutinizing every move they made.

"That's Madame Oprah Giry," Olive explained, gesturing towards her. "She's the ballet mistress, but she basically runs this place. Been here longer than anyone." "She was the manager before we stepped in. You don't want to mess with her," Otto added with a shudder.

Almost immediately, Oprah brought her can down with such force that the bang echoed through the theatre space, making all four in the front of the house jump. "You! Orchid! Get your head out of the clouds and get back in time!" she thundered with the volume of a trained singer. The offending dancer, a smallish girl, stuck her tongue out at Oprah before complying, earning a worried glance from the dancer next to her.

"Orchid always had a bit of a rebellious streak," said Olive.

Olympia adjusted her glasses and observed, "That girl next to Orchid, she's really good!"

"That'd be Oona, Oprah's daughter," Otto explained.

"Explains where she gets it," Otis added. The music reached a climax, and the singing began anew:

"Bid welcome to Hanibal's guests The elephants of Carthage As guides on our conquering quest Dido sends Hanibal's friends…"

The leads stepped up to the front of the stage as a giant mechanical elephant was rolled on behind them. "This is my favorite part," Olympia squeaked, clapping her hands together in rapid succession. Once the leads' little duet ended, the chorus took over again as Xavier struggled to get on top of the elephant, requiring a boost from a soldier. He barely made it on top as the scene came to a close.

"This is a good time to introduce you two," Olive suggested as the singers and dancers broke off from their formations to chatter amongst each other. A red-haired stagehand brought on a rope ladder so Xavier could get down from the elephant, and he almost instantly returned to Xena's side. The managers all stepped up to the stage from a staircase.

"Excuse me - excuse me!" Otto called while Olive cleared her throat and Olympia and Otis stood there awkwardly. Nobody seemed to be paying any attention to them. Otto turned to Oprah. He didn't even have to open his mouth before she banged her cane again and yelled, "Everybody shut up and listen up!"

"Thank you," Olive said with a genuine smile before turning her attention to the assembled performers. "As you all may or may not know, there have been rumors that Otto and I will be stepping down as managers of the Opera Populaire. I can tell you that they're true."

Otto continued, "But we managed to find a pair of great successors. Allow me to introduce Monsieur Otis Firmin and Madame Olympia Andre!" 

Some polite applause came from the crowd as attention fell on the new managers. Olympia dipped into a curtsey, and Otis gave a timid bow.

"So you two think you can run this place?" Xena asked, pushing herself to the front of the crowd and giving a mocking laugh. Before Xena could make another comment, Olympia had run up to her.

"It's an honor to meet you face-to-face," Olympia said in a blur, her words running together, as she pressed her palm into Xena's. "I'm a big fan, I've experienced all your greatest roles!" As Olympia began to list and describe some of these roles, Xena still retained her scowl, but her expression softened slightly upon hearing herself praised.

"Suck-up," Xavier commented dryly. Otis ignored him, also turning to Xena. Olympia's on to something, he thought. It can't hurt to have a good relationship with our employees. Aloud, he asked absently, "Doesn't Ellisa have a nice aria in Act Three of Hannibal?"

"Among many," Xena snarked. "Your point?"

"I was thinking maybe you could sing it for us...unless our musical director objects, of course."

'Well, does he?" Xena looked suggestively at Obfusco, who was already moving to a piano in the wings.

Obfusco's answer rang out dramatically. "The planet-sized nightingale has spoken! Would she enjoy a piece of juicy fruit?"

"Uh, yeah, two bars should work," Olive answered as Otis and Olympia locked eyes in complete confusion. Obfusco began playing a short introduction on the piano, followed by Xena's glistening tones:

"Think of me, think of me fondly When we've said goodbye Remember me every so often Promise me you'll try On that day, that not-so-distant day When you are far away and free If you ever find a moment, Spare a thought for me…"

As Xena took a breath in preparation for the second verse of the aria, a flicker of motion caught Otis's eye. He glanced upward - and saw a backdrop plummeting from the rafters, right towards Xena's elaborate headpiece. "Xena, look out!" he called, just in time for Xena to register the falling fabric and dash out of the way. The backdrop crashed to the stage, sending most of the cast into a tizzy. "He's here!" Otis heard distinctly. "The Phantom - he must be in the rafters!"

Phantom?

One of the ballet girls - Oona, maybe, Otis was having trouble telling the difference between them - was running around in a total panic. She ran straight into Olympia, who grabbed her by the shoulders and said calmly, "Okay, okay, let's get ahold of ourselves, Oona. Breathe… Breathe…"

Otto had rushed to Xena's side. "Signora, are you okay?" he asked, brushing off her dress before getting his hand slapped away by the soprano.

Olive shouted into the flys, "Can you guys get Oscar down here?" "Yeah!" came the response.

"Thanks, O'Conner!"

Otis slipped up to Olive's side. "Olive, what's going on?" he asked in a hushed tone.

Olive whispered back. "It's fine. Oscar probably let go of a rope or something on accident. He's our chief of the flys."

"Yeah, but what about the Phantom everyone's going crazy over?"

Olive paused for a second, but a tall, bespectacled man dashed onstage, coils of rope draped over his shoulder. "Hey guys!" he said in a shaky tone.

"Oscar, what happened up there?" Otto asked.

Oscar shook his head rapidly. "I have no idea, I wasn't up there, no one was up there, I know, I checked, although it's really hard to tell the difference between stagehands, seriously, how many redheads did you guys hire?"

"It's the Phantom!" Oona screamed again as Oscar slipped backstage. "He's gonna kill us all one of these days!"

"Geez, calm down," Otis groaned. "There's no such thing as ghosts."

On the edge of his hearing, Otis heard the slightest hint of a chuckle.

Olympia had joined Otto in calming Xena down. "These things happen," she said with a grin.

Xena was not grinning. She snapped, "'These things happen'? 'These things happen'?! You've been here for five minutes! You know nothing! 'These things' have been happening for three years! Three! Years! And our incompetent managers couldn't even do anything about it! I should have gotten them fired sooner! You guys are gonna be as bad as they were! 'These things happen'? Well, until you can stop 'these things' from happening, this thing does not happen! I QUIT!" With a frustrated snarl, Xena threw her scarf to the ground and stormed offstage.

Xavier turned to the stunned crowd with a smirk, quipped, "Amateurs," and smugly followed his girlfriend.

A moment of awkward silence took the stage. The ensemble seemed very interested in their feet. Olympia stared after Xena, stunned. No one felt comfortable enough to make eye contact with anyone else.

"I believe that's our cue to go?" Olive prompted, starting off the stage.

"Yeah, we should go," Otto said, turning to the new managers one more time. "Good luck, you two," he said with a smile. "Feel free to call on us if you need any help. Honestly, I don't think you'll need it."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Otis replied, a smile tugging at the edges of his own lips. Otto followed Olive off the stage and through the house. Otis watched them as they slipped through the house door and left, the shutting door echoing through the house.

"Soooooo…. When's Xena coming back?" Olympia posed to the crowd.

"Not tonight, that's for sure," said Madame Oprah, stepping through the clusters of singers and dancers from out of a shadow. "She's gonna need at least a night to cool off after a rant like that. Anyway, the opera ghost asked me to tell you two a few things..."

"This is starting to get ridiculous," Otis muttered under his breath. Oprah, meanwhile, pulled a piece of yellowed, water-damaged paper from somewhere in her dress and read the text on it aloud:

To the new managers of the Opera Populaire: Welcome to my opera house. I am sure you have already received a warm welcome from the singers, dancers, and stagehands here at the Opera. Perhaps you have already met some of the more… colorful characters. But you have yet to meet me - although I am already well acquainted with the both of you. With luck, we will have no need to see each others' faces during your period of ownership. Follow my instructions carefully, and I assure you that you and all others here will be safe. To begin, you may already know by now that the fifth of the publicly available viewing boxes provides the best view of the stage as well as the best acoustics. I am used to nothing but the best. Therefore, my first request is that you leave Box Five empty during all performances and rehearsals for my private usage. Then there is the matter of my salary. The former managers were generous enough to offer me twenty thousand francs per month. Now that the Viscount de Changey has offered his patronage of the opera house, perhaps you can afford to pay me more than that. For now, that concludes my commands. More of my comments will make themselves noticeable as I observe how you perform as managers. Remember, you may own the opera house, but it belongs to me. I have the honor to be Your Obedient Servant, O.G.

"You sure you didn't write that yourself?" Otis asked after Madame Oprah had finished reading.

"I can't write that eloquently," replied Madame Oprah.

Olympia rushed to Otis's side and added, "Um, that's nice and all, but we have an opera tonight and no leading lady. Who's Xena's understudy?"

"The examination takes place on the rooftops," Obfusco declared from the wings. "The hippopotamus was born today!"

"Translation…" Otis said with a sigh.

Rolling her eyes, Madame Oprah said, "He said there's no understudy, since the production is so new." The newly minted managers let out a simultaneous groan.

"I'll sing it!"

Otis and Olympia turned around to see that one of the other ballet girls, the short one, the one Olive had identified as Orchid, had stepped forward. "I can sing the part," Orchid continued. "I've been taking lessons from a really good teacher."

"Oh, really?" Olympia asked hopefully. "Who?"

"Like I'm gonna tell you, Sherman," said Orchid with a smirk.

"Actually, my name's Olympia…"

"We don't have time for this," Otis interrupted. "You're Orchid, right?"

"Orchid Daae, yeah."

Daae. That last name sounded kind of familiar. "Any chance you're related to the violinist, I think his name was Gustav Daae?" asked Olympia.

"Oh, that's my grandpa," said Orchid, a slight shadow passing across her face. 

Otis laughed, a dry chuckle. "Okay then, Orchid Daae, let's see for ourselves if you inherited any of that musical talent. Obfusco, can we start from the beginning of 'Think of me'?"

Thankfully, Obfusco's only response was to begin the introduction in a more accessible key. Orchid started the song quietly, but intensely. Unlike Xena, she sang with her heart as well as her vocal cords. By the time the bridge rolled around, everyone was staring at the surprisingly powerful singer with awe. A few of the girls had even been reduced to tears.

Olympia, a huge grin on her face, whispered to Otis, "Yeah, she gets the part."

Otis simply nodded. Y'know, this isn't going to be nearly as hard as I thought…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The dulcet tones of Orchid's song carried through the house, directly into the waiting ears of an onlooker. Having wrapped himself in a cloak of embroidered black silk, he was virtually indistinguishable from the shadows in and around his perch. He watched as the lady manager rushed up to his pupil, absolutely beaming. And why shouldn't they be impressed? Her voice was only an extension of his own, after all. She'd been able to sing when they met, of course, but not like him. Never like him.

So glad to see that Oprah is cooperating, he thought with an inward grin. I'd hate to see something happen to her… or that nutcase of a daughter she has. And that man - Otis? Whatever his name is, he's going to be trouble. I'll have to keep an eye on him.

And Orchid - my dear, sweet, innocent Orchid… my training has clearly paid off. Your time has come. You'll be prima donna in no time, just like you always wanted.

As he slipped further into the shadows, a flash of paleness caught his eye. He turned. There was a mirror, his reflection barely visible in the dim light. A human head, the only feature. One half was a handsome face, but a mask of beautiful, flawless porcelain covered the other half.

He grinned and slicked back his hair. You handsome devil, you.

No. No, not a devil. Tonight, you're an angel. Just for tonight. Just for her.

It's time I showed her who I really am.

[eponymous-rose]

Writing some reviews and working on revisions today and realized a lot of folks probably aren’t aware of the hilariously messed-up process of academic publishing, so here’s how it typically goes for me:

1. Have a good, sciencey idea! If something is going to be published, it has to contribute to the overall scientific knowledge of your field in some way. Often this is the classic set-up of: “I have a theory. I ran an experiment to test that theory. Here’s what I found.”

2. Get a sense of which journal would be a good fit. Journals like Science and Nature have a massive general readership but an abysmal acceptance rate (and their broad scope means you’re competing with an absurd range of research topics). Smaller, more specialized journals may reach a higher percentage of your desired subfield’s audience, but those articles might also just vanish under the waves or keep you away from interdisciplinary collaborations. There are plenty of (even more) predatory journals out there that will publish your work with basically no oversight, and will be a black mark on your CV. Some research is important here, and I usually work out where I want to submit before writing any more than an outline.

3. Find the style guide for your desired journal. Oh god. It’s a mess. I learned LaTeX (a typesetting system) because a lot of journals in my field have a downloadable template to use. If you use Word, may god have mercy on your soul.

4. Write! This is the most fun part for me. In my field, a paper is typically a ~250-word abstract (sell your work to people skimming through!), a ~7,500-word paper, and maybe around 15 figures (never realized my science career would require so much graphic design knowledge!). Some journals will let you include supplemental material like animations that can be accessed online, and most now require that you provide all necessary data to allow someone to reproduce your results.

5. Get the coauthors on board. If I’m writing, I’m generally going to be the first author on the paper, and I want to make sure everyone gets proper attribution. In my field, first author is generally the one who did the most writing and editing (in an academic setting, this should always be the graduate student, even if they maybe got a lot of extra help on writing), with the remaining order of authors not really mattering (except, again in academia, it’s usually traditional for the grad student’s supervisor to be the last author). This varies hugely by field. The criteria for deciding who gets authorship is also really, really complicated and tied in to research ethics. I’ve given coauthorship to people who provided me with their own hard-to-find datasets, even though technically their contribution to the paper was just sending one e-mail with an attachment, because gathering all that data was instrumental to the study, even if they didn’t have my study in mind when they did it. Regardless, this is the stage where I send the paper to the coauthors and let them review it. This can be pretty intense and result in a lot of edits and back-and-forth until everyone feels good attaching their name to it. I’ve had this take two weeks, and I’ve had it take almost a year. Varies a lot.

6. Submit the paper to the journal. At this point, they’ll have you sign a cost estimate, which is basically saying, “I’m willing to pay a few thousand dollars to have this published.” Yes, you pay them for the privilege of publishing in their journal. Academic grant applications usually have a section for publication funding, so it’s unlikely to be coming out of your pockets directly, but that’s still an awful lot of money. There’s generally a charge per page, and then a different charge per figure. I’ve seen online-only journals that charge extra for color figures. Explain that one to me. (In my field, a couple of open-access journals that charge nothing or only a nominal processing fee are starting to gain interest, but pubs in these journals are often excluded from the metrics of publication prowess that may determine whether or not you get a promotion, so the only folks who can afford to publish in them are the ones who are already well-established. What a racket.)

7. After an initial okay from an editor (who is an unpaid volunteer), the paper is sent to three reviewers (also unpaid volunteers). Their job is to pick the paper apart (anonymously, so it can get nasty) and come up with a final recommendation: accept (basically doesn’t happen on the first round of reviews), accept pending minor revisions that won’t need a second round of reviewing (rare, but might occur), accept pending major revisions that will need a second round of reviews (most common), or reject (which also includes transferring to another journal that might be a better fit). This stage usually takes about 6 weeks with the journals I submit to, and the reply will often be several thousand words of reviews. The editor takes these three reviews and decides on the final verdict.

8. Revisions! Every single change you make (right down to fixing a typo) must be written out in an accompanying document, along with the precise line number and justification. Every sentence your reviewers write must be addressed. You can argue or defend yourself, but this is often the stage of scoffing at a suggestion for a while and then going “....aw man you right”. I’ve had comments that forced me to remake every single figure in the paper, and rewrite half the analysis along the way. My revision changelogs/justifications have, in the past, been longer than the paper (once almost 10,000 words).

9. Send those revisions to the coauthors and make sure you’re on the same page. This is often a bit of a hell of “I totally disagree with this reviewer and think you shouldn’t have given in on this one” and “I’m fine with your replies to these reviews, but while you’re here, let’s completely change this...” Cobble something together and throw it back to the journal. This stage can take up to a couple months. Often for this step, I send out the paper to all coauthors and give a hard deadline for either a reply or a request for more time---often coauthors who are only tangentially involved in the project are cool with just stepping back and letting the revised paper go through as-is.

10. Another round of reviews! If you’ve got that “major revisions” marker, your revised paper and replies go out to the same reviewers, again with that six-week deadline for their reviews. If you’re down to just “minor revisions”, the editor will take a look. If needed, another round of revisions will happen, followed by a third review if your revisions are still considered “major”. If things still aren’t working by then, the editor will generally intervene.

11. Pay that $$$$. Your paper goes into early online release (basically just the unformatted version your reviewers saw) after a week or so, and then after a month or so a nicely formatted and typeset version goes into circulation. From submission to final publication, in my experience four to eight months is pretty standard. I’m getting a lot better at writing a whole paper in only a couple weeks to balance that out. Also getting better at having several papers in different stages of this process simultaneously!

12. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Again, just to emphasize, this is what it’s like in my little corner of my field, publishing in a small subset of journals. I’ve reviewed for a dozen different journals at this point, and there are a lot of variations on this theme! The whole process is weird as heck and frequently soul-crushing, but there you have it.

[moldy-mold]

Diary Post: My Thoughts and Processes on Making “Silent Strength” It’s lengthy, taking place over long period of time. Mainly written for my future-self to remember what I went through, but also for anyone who is curious. Now that the project is over, I can post without reservations. There are certain things I need to keep secret though, so if I’m vague I do so intentionally!

Basically, a lot of number-crunching, physical labor, and psychological labor.

It started off as kind of a joke tweet I made. I had enough content to make a Tales Of art book and people were receptive to it. So… I thought maybe I could go somewhere with this. A few weeks later, I suddenly had a lot of Kratos art. Like. 80% of all my Tales art was Kratos. It didn’t make sense to make a broad Tales Of book when really most of it was Kratos.

I hadn’t made a book since I was in college despite it being one of my favorite things to do. They were never art books, just some editorial design projects that totally didn’t count. This book… would be my first-ever art book.

Several times, I came close to having enough art to print a book - the last time was my large collection of Yusuke Kitagawa, but the quality wasn’t where I wanted.  At that time, I was still experimenting with my iPad Pro and figuring out Procreate, so that was what I used him for.

NGL, I was pretty afraid of looking like a clown. After doing all this work, what if no one actually buys it? I was talking to some friends and they said they would buy it. It was enough for me. In the end, I’m creating something that I love. - The first thing I really wanted to work on was the cover. It needed to be epic but also mysterious (lol)… It was a good time to practice lighting and backgrounds. The cover had to be freaking Fantastic. I spent 3 days drawing nonstop. I was on vacation so I could spend full days just drawing. It was really intense. I would stop in the evenings to go for a run or else my legs would never get circulation again.

The hardest part was keeping it secret. I wanted to share it with the world right away bc I was so proud of it. Well, all I could do was show it to my parents and some close friends. They didn’t know who Kratos is, but it was obvious I was crazy about him.

Initially, I was doing some hand-lettering for the zine title instead of using a typeface. Tbh, I was so sure I was naming this zine “Blame Your Fate!” bc that is such an iconic line. But it just didn’t work with my cover, which looked… a little too serene for that. So… Silent Strength or Divine Strength? I asked around and got my answer.

But what size? All of my art has been on letter canvases. I wanted it to be large so you could see the details in the art. I’ll just start with that. - Luckily, I had all my Kratos-related art in one place. I started my InDesign file and threw everything in there just to see what it looked like. Man, I draw a lot of boxes… But I didn’t want them all next to each other. I also wanted to kinda organize it by the people Kratos hangs out with. There’s a Yuan section LOL… and a Lloyd section… and an Anna section. Idk, I tried to get some kind of order in there with a sprinkling of full spreads here and there to keep it fresh and interesting for the eyes.

I hadn’t worked with InDesign on such an intense level since college. I forgot all of the tips and tricks we learned in class. Spent some time reading on how to do things again… like adding page numbers. - I started drafting my pre-order form. It’s my first time making a google form like this. It’s kind of fun? I spent a long time on it, despite how simple it was. This was going to be my “Store” so it had to look and sound good. - My friend introduced me to charm-making. It seemed easy enough, and I wanted to give my zine more oomph. Besides, I’ve always wanted to make a charm.

I remember someone saying they’d buy a book of just the 4 Seraphim if it existed. I like them too and they lack art imo. In the end, I decided to do a polaroid charm. It’s not really that unique but I wanted Kratos to have actual friends to hang out with for once LOL.

She was going to do a group order to try to reduce the costs. I thought maybe 4 weeks would give me enough time. In the end she said I only have 2. I work well under pressure, so needless to say, I did make that deadline. I actually sketched the whole thing on the plane headed home. - After playing the game the second time, watching the OVA again, and reading “Offerings to a Star,” I have gained a real soft spot for Yuan.  My friend once said, “If you weren’t stolen away by Kratos, you would be in love with Yuan.” Lol. I’ve been in a “Kratos and Yuan hanging out” mood lately, so of course I needed something good for the zine. They’re so cute together! Now… what is the bro-est thing I can draw?

I was currently in Florida for my friend’s wedding. I was friends with the groom and his best man since high school, so that makes it 10 years now. Seeing how they’re still friends after all this time, despite living in opposite sides of the country, was really moving to me. Of course, me being me, I could see Kratos and Yuan’s long friendship being similar to this, if they had gone to school together. I just had to draw it. - When I got back from vacation, I did some research on zine sizes. Mine was HUGE compared to others. I just didn’t quite realize it until I held a magazine in my hands. It really is huge…

I settled for a medium size. 7x9. I really liked how it looked. Petite but not too petite. Unfortunately resizing my book had messed up my artwork placement so I spent hours rearranging all the text and resizing my images. I found out afterwards that there’s a way to retain the format while changing the document size. Gee, that would have been helpful 4 hours ago.

Sadly, choosing a custom size booklet makes printing more expensive. But I wanted it badly enough that I’d be willing to pay for it. Letter size is just too large… - I decided to stop dragging my feet and post a promo. I just really needed a deadline for myself to get this all done before July ended. I’m happy it was well-received. A lot of people like Kratos huh…

Anyway, the pre-order is due in a week and I still don’t know what all the costs are yet. I need a physical proof ASAP to weigh at the post office! - Something possessed me one day to do another drawing. I don’t usually do painterly style (mainly because it’s really difficult and takes 10x longer) but I just REALLY wanted to push myself on this Final Piece to the zine. I wanted it to be… radiant. Almost religious. I worked on it obsessively. From breakfast to sundown. The only time I would stop was at 7pm to go running or else my legs would give out on me.

Call me crazy, but I would save my progress on my phone so I could examine it for errors during my warmup. I also spend an hour examining it for errors before going to bed. It’s a miracle I hadn’t dreamt of the painting. - I sent my files in on Sunday in hopes that they start working on it first thing on Monday…. and it HAPPENED! They finished before I even woke up. I think they start work at like 6am…

Of course, I drove over there as soon as I heard so I can get a look. “Please… please let the colors be okay,” I prayed as I was driving. I barely remember driving there, I was so lost in thought. It would be another long ordeal if I had to fix all the colors.

Thank the stars. The press proof looked BEAUTIFUL!! I was screaming to the client coordinator how much I loved it. I mean, I worried for a looooong time that everything would turn out too dark (it usually does) but it was PERFECT. I was especially worried about the cover, which contained a lot of yellow and I def did not want it to come out mustardy… But it was great in the end!

The press operator is a quiet man. He’s got a scary face and never smiles but I think he’s secretly nice. He has done a lot of favors for me in the past without my asking. He was the one to print, bind, and trim the book for me. Obviously he had to have seen what I was drawing. I wonder what he thought of it…? He walked away before I could express how happy and thankful was. He didn’t need to hear it. It was like he already knew. So cool…

I immediately took it to the post office to weigh it. I needed as much info as I could get and plus, I was dying to know for myself. This is the week I was supposed to open pre-orders and there was still a lot I needed to do. Take pictures, create mockups, pricing, etc.

NGL, all of these costs were building up fast. It was so darn expensive to make a zine while also keeping prices down. But I wanted so much more for my baby. Extra glossy cover, perfect binding!! I knew by the end of this, I probably wouldn’t make much money. It hurt a little, but I tried to think that it was for the greater good. Learning experience and all that. And creating something beautiful. Especially something beautiful of Kratos. - Pricing was really the hardest part. I pretty much threw profit out the window. However, I definitely did not want to be losing money. My dad and I had worked together to create a spreadsheet of expenses to make sure my head was above water. I followed it… loosely.

My friend came to talk to me at the right moment. I was sort of panicking at the prices. She made me realize I was thinking way too hard about it and gave me some tips based on her own experience. It really put my mind at ease talking to someone who understands my woes.

The truth of the matter is, the book is wonderfully made and has a lot of pages - countless hours of drawing. There is only so much I can do about pricing. It is what it is… I just needed to come to terms with my own worth. - Boy, what am I going to do once the zine is done? My friend says that I’ll be so over Kratos that I’ll stop drawing him (but the love remains). It’s like… all of the intense planning, working, struggling nonstop will just suddenly… stop. TBH, I’m running out of ideas. I spent it all on the zine. - Photoshoot today. I had to paint my nails purple for this occasion. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the look I wanted in the apartment. It’s just so naked without props. I think I’ll take it to a cafe for some nicer backgrounds. I talked it over with my friend and decided to do a quick flip-through of the zine as a promotional video. I used the most professional video program I had on hand… Snapchat. It actually turned out pretty legit and of course I slapped stickers on there because it’s Snapchat.

I had to tape/hide some of the pages for the video because I wasn’t actually done with the drawings. I had the printers print it anyway so I could examine it for color accuracy.

I’m really stressed about pricing now. It turns out I had a lot more international fans than I anticipated. I wish I took notes on interest earlier in the game to cater to them. I had a list of “possible buyers” and I only just now decided to check where they live? Foolish.

I did another cost analysis on paper to figure out what my goal was to make up for the charms. Right now they’ve cost me a fortune for something that was supposed to be giveaway. Other things that rack up are packaging costs, PayPal fees, and some other supplies I needed for this project.

Maybe I shouldn’t have made it 40 pages. It is an impressive number, but no one is really paying for quantity. I think 25 is a better number lol. If I had done that, I could have had my super-gloss cover like I wanted. :’(

There is hope though. And I’ve placed it in the hands of my followers to come through for me. I think I’ll open pre-orders on Saturday or Sunday, depending on what I finish. - “Losing your cool will only lead to poor decisions.” 
Thanks, Kratos twitter bot. You always know what to say.

I read this post today on what makes people buy zines. Very interesting!
 https://twitter.com/andythelemon_/status/1141469048653398019 - Photoshoot part 2 today. My friend and I went to a cafe nearby that had some nice atmosphere in hopes of finding the right shots. I brought all of my Kratos merch just in case. I’m glad I did though, since the tables were pretty sparse and it was difficult to capture the backgrounds without getting a bunch of random people in it too.

I would have been the photographer, but I definitely wanted my hands in the shots. In a way, it was meaningful - to show that this was made by my own two hands. Plus, I wanted to depict natural interaction with the product. It made it feel real.

The photos were cute! I feared it would look a little amateurish with all the merch in there, but I think fun was what I was really going for, not “professional.” And plus the flip-through was a Snap anyway LOL. As long as the photos have good lighting and tasteful composition, you really can’t go wrong with “fun.”

Now that I’ve finished editing my photos, there really isn’t anything holding me back from opening pre-orders. I’ve pretty much come to terms with my pricing. If I fail to break even, I’ll just have to open commissions to try to make up for it. I was telling my friend on the way home, “I gave this zine EVERYTHING I had to give. So at the very least, I won’t be disappointed in myself.” No stone left unturned, no detail left unchecked. It was perfect according to my standards. I really love my zine okay?!

I thought I was crazy for not only choosing a small fandom, I narrowed it down even further by picking ONE GUY to make this zine about. She replied, “Even if it’s small, those people who love him now must be EXTREMELY LOYAL to still be in love with a character from a 15-year-old game. All of them will want your zine.” - I went to bed that night with the intention of making the pre-order post live in the morning. I was so nervous I couldn’t sleep. I was wide awake until at least 5 or 6 am. Luckily, I was able to doze off for a an hour or two before I would shake myself awake again. It was a mixture of anxiety and excitement. It was the moment of truth - to see if all my effort made a difference. Was it going to sell? - The pre-order post looked really freaking good. I’ll give it that. I even made a YT account just to post that darn preview video on tumblr lol. It was definitely fun seeing everyone’s excitement and we all just freaked out together.

I broke even! That’s what really matters. Honestly at this point, I couldn’t care less if I made profit or not. I now know how much people really like the zine and that alone made me so happy I could die.

I was particularly fascinated at Google Form’s ability to transfer all the data collected into a spreadsheet. That is extremely helpful. I spent hours organizing the data. It was really fun…?! Now I can tell who gets invoiced and who paid and separate them into categories. IT’S FANTASTIC!

Stayed up late researching how much adding tracking could be. I had a slight panic attack thinking “what if my books got lost in transit?” It would really hurt me to have to reprint books and ship them again. And then I realized I will need to fill out customs forms for all international orders. Yikes, I’m gonna be living at the post office lol. You can print them out at home if you fill out the form online but there are still some things I’m uncertain about. I may visit the post office later this week to ask all my questions. - This morning I sent out everyone’s invoices. I gave the international people the option to purchase tracking. It’s expensive… but I need to provide that option just in case.

I received a nice message from someone who offered to advertise for me on Instagram. Of course, I gave them the OK! I’m really so shocked they would do that… They said the liked the zine so much it deserved more exposure. My dude… I love you… T_T

I thought about advertising on insta myself earlier in the week. For some reason I felt it was going to be fruitless since I don’t have an art account on there with a following. So, I gave up on the idea. Hey it worked out in the end.

I’ve never been so organized in my entire life. I want this zine experience to be perfect. The people have placed their trust in me, so I cannot mess up. - Edited some pages in the zine. The typography must be perfect… It made me think back to undergrad days in graphic design school. Man, if only I can present this as a project - photos, videos, matching accessories and all. I’d probably get an A lol. - Orders slow down after the first day. The rest is just about getting new people to see the post and giving other people more time to decide.

I finished my Kratos stationery today. It’s going to be so cute. My friend said people would want to buy it but I don’t have it in me to do more products at this time. Plus, I want it to be a surprise.

Why make stationery? Well my real job (no, I don’t draw Kratos all day for a living) is a stationery designer! It would feel really wrong not to put into practice what etiquette I’ve learned in this business. Plus, I felt that it was necessary to properly thank all those who ordered. And it’s fun?

I started designing the shipping labels for the domestic orders since I don’t need to fill out a customs form for those. I wish I had sticker labels but… it’s okay. It will still look good in the end. - Every so often, I would get nervous at the amount of money I’m responsible for. Perhaps, if I had a store with existing products I wouldn’t feel this way, but the fact that the books haven’t been printed yet made me scared. I know, I need this money to even print the books in the first place, but I’m just baffled at my customers’ trust in almost a total stranger. I felt pressured that I could not let them down and lose that trust. It probably didn’t help that I watched a documentary on Elizabeth Holmes (Theranos) that day.

So, I prayed every single day that nothing would go wrong. I’d check my spreadsheet constantly for any mistakes. It was a little obsessive, but I would rather be that than overlook something.

I began collecting cardboard boxes. My plan was to cut them up to protect the books during transit. I would have preferred hard envelopes but they were a bit pricey. If I have to do more work myself, so be it.

I’ve been getting nice DMs from some buyers. I think my invoice due date scared them… I really did not intend to be strict, but I wanted people to pay now if they can rather than forget about it. This happens at work all the time, so the best thing to do is have it due immediately. It would not look good to have to wait on stragglers when I close pre-orders, so I’ll probably reach out when there is one week left. - My Kratos stationery arrived! Aww it is SO CUTE!!! My babies… I have a lot of notes to write so I got started right away. It’s going to be a lot of work trying to come up with creative ways to say “thank you,” but I don’t mind. I said I was going to put my all into the zine experience so I will.

At long last, the charm order has been put in motion. My friend said it could take a while… I hope it won’t be longer than 3 weeks. I really do not want to keep everyone waiting. I may ship out the ones who did not win a charm first. I mean, there is no reason to make those guys wait. I should ask the charm winners if they still want to wait and see if anyone wants to give it up for someone else who is more patient. Hm. - I finally stopped by the post office today to collect customs forms. I have my work cut out for me since I’m filling all of them in by hand. D:

I’m not used to international addresses so I think I’ll ask for help in checking them for spelling errors and typos. Heaven forbid I mess up on the very last part of the zine experience.

In my nervousness, I decided to reach out about invoices early on. If someone wanted to cancel, I would rather find out sooner rather than later. Everyone was really nice about paying and thank goodness they’re still excited.

Feeling kind of overwhelmed by all the things I need to do, but it’s a good thing. If I don’t know what to do, I can either: cut cardboard, write letters, type shipping labels, draw more Kratos for a… possible volume 2? Someone I talked to today already said they’ll pre-order a second book if I make one. Omg I think I’ll die. But we’ll see. It’s just a joke right now haha… - Preorders end today. I had another nightmare last night that the books could not be printed properly and there was nothing I could do. Why do I keep getting nightmares about the zine! I had one a few days before about people canceling their orders when I asked them about the invoices. I’ll take these dreams with a grain of salt. I’m probably just stressed/worried but everything is going to be okay. When I open my eyes, nothing is on fire.

I received my final proof a few days ago. With all of the artwork completed and changes applied. The book looks good, no doubt about it. There was only one thing I was nit-picky about but it can be fixed. The press operator offered to print another book for me to inspect. I’ll go see it on Monday and then submit the rest of the orders. I also asked to to have a meeting with the press operator so we are on the same page. It would be beneficial to have an understanding of how my book is made so that I may be more helpful to him.

I spent the day preparing shipping labels. I hate to admit, I am not too familiar with the format international addresses so I had an address validator open as I was typing them in. For the most part, everyone was helpful in already formatting their addresses in the preorder form! - My parents called me the day after preorders were closed. They wanted to say congratulations on my success. No one thought it would do this well. I couldn’t be offended by that since I was also guilty of it. I’m happy though. It feels like my love spread across the world and was contagious.

I tried to think of what advice I would give to others. Obviously, genuine love for the subject and hard work were a necessity. But it would be good to consider value. If I were selling it at this price, I had to make sure my pieces and presentation looked the part. I ask myself, if someone else sold it, would I buy it?

I sent out messages to all the charm winners in the morning. I wanted to apologize profusely at the ridiculous amount of time it has taken to get them made. But no, I’ve got to stop apologizing. I stated the facts and left it at that. Everyone was really kind and patient⁠—to which I was thankful for. I don’t usually get that when I’m working customer service. - All the books were done printing in one day. Wow! I went to pick it up immediately of course. I can’t believe all of this is coming to an end. I finished preparing the mailers. All that was left was to stuff and seal the domestic orders. They were the easiest to do so I’m going to ship those first. The rest will need customs forms, which I haven’t filled out just yet. It’s going to be a while for those…

The mailers were quite sturdy with the cardboard cutouts I slipped in them. I have nothing to worry about. I’m sure my babies will be okay! - I took a whole box of domestic orders to the post office today. Wasn’t sure what to expect. But my clerk had to input every single address one at a time while I checked for errors. Omg, why are the post office shipping labels SO HUGE. I thought it was going to be half the size. And they’re ruining my designer labels! Slight panic but oh well…

I had a long long line behind me. I’m so sorry, people. Luckily there were two clerks or I would be really sweating. Despite my intimidating box of zines, the clerk and I had Synergy and we managed to ship all of these in about 15 minutes. I received a very long receipt and quite the bill lol. - Shipped the international orders today. I was kind of a mess since I had no idea what to do. I keep wondering if I can help speed up the process in any way but I don’t think I have the option to ship first-class at home.

When shipping international, keep the post office copy of the customs forms together with the package since they use that to type the address info into the system. Also, we get free tracking, which I did not know about. The other clerk told me that we did not get tracking for international first-class but I guess he was misinformed. It’s good to know for next time. - The charms finally arrived!! And THEY’RE HOLOGRAPHIC?! It was pretty awesome, but it makes picture-taking kind of difficult!! Anyway, I was a tiny bit disgruntled that they got my order incorrect, and I even asked for a reprint. But they said no, so I left it at that. Besides, it seems the holographic effect was well-received.

I like this size that I made. It’s really cute! Larger than your normal charm but not too huge. It’s almost like an Instax photo! - There was one customer who I found lives near me! I asked her if she wanted me to hand-deliver it to her in a public setting and she agreed (to my amazement). We finally met a few days ago and talked for hours and hours lol! I’m glad to have finally made a new friend here in this town but of course she’s moving away in two weeks. <:’3

We’re going to meet again to make the most of her time left. - I shipped the rest of the orders on the following Monday. I HAD to get these out. The poor guys have been waiting over a month! I think I picked a bad time to go because I had a huge line behind me and only one guy working. People in line were getting antsy or mad. The clerk at the other post office was super fast but not this guy…

For some reason shipping to the UK and Japan nearly doubled in price since the last time I checked. RIP. T_T - Omg I finally made a mistake. I wrote a letter to the wrong person. And the contents of that letter are too personalized!!! I am dying of embarrassment!!!!! Screams!! Had to apologize to both customers too!!! Luckily they were good sports about it but I’m seriously kicking myself AAAAAAAA!!!! - The most rewarding part after sending all my babies away is seeing the commentary on my project. It is so so nice to receive positive feedback. People are happy! Happy with something I created out of thin air. Everything was worth it 1000 times over. I can die happy!

I’m especially thankful to those who show understanding for how much effort went into it. It definitely wasn’t easy and I poured way too many hours into it… not that I regret that.

I don’t want to jump the gun but I would really love to make a volume 2. Because I know I can do better than last time. New and improved art and comics! But we’ll see if I make enough pieces for another book. I was against printing 40 pages before but now I kind of like it. It feels more worth it than a 25-page zine. If i’m going though so much effort, might as well bring in the entire package.

I’ll be printing more of this volume for Aselia Con 2020. Now I know people will appreciate it.