#I hate doing one cards tho I feel like we don’t get the full picture

[vampirewalterskinner]

Ok for the poly nsfw alphabet, C, D (walter in lingerie pleaseeeeeeeee) N, and U🥰🥰

This one is tricky to me only because I immediately want to say Dana is the one who sends nudes but I also know she would never take the risk because she KNOWS what happens to women in the workplace (or in general) who have their nudes exposed. But since this is Walter and Fox, I feel like she would jump at the opportunity to tease them and would feel very safe doing so. She likes watching them squirm and get wired up over a measly little photo. It’s always a lovely boost to her ego when they trip over themselves to get her attention and please her 🥰 Fox feels like the type of person who often fantasizes about swapping nudes and gets off to the thought of it, but in reality is too scared/shy to actually start anything. Even after Dana sends something first 😂 Walter under no circumstances would EVER send a nude photo of himself or any part of his body to anyone ever. Except for one time when Dana and Fox were giving him so much fuel in the middle of the night he couldn’t help but show them how it affected him. It’s the only picture he’s ever sent but Dana and Fox still talk about it.

As for a sex tape, I think Fox would have managed to convince his partners to go for it. They know of his dirty little obsession and it gives them a little thrill to please him by making a tape—that they make sure is 100% untouchable to anyone else. (Tbh Fox probably pulled the whole “it’s my birthday 🥺” card to get it even tho he doesn’t celebrate his birthday lmao)

They all love to see it on each other, but Fox and Walter are very nervous about wearing it 😂 First off, anything they get fits Fox like a glove and it embarrasses the hell out of him. But they have to get the cheap stuff for him. Dana and Walter destroy everything he wears with their greedy hands 🥰 For Walter, it’s impossible for them to find anything in his size. He’s just so huge. Walter is actually upset by it, especially when everything he wears is too tight and more often than not he rips them. It takes Fox and Dana a bit to get him to understand that in itself is fucking sexy. Dana has a closet full of lingerie. (Girl wears silk pjs to bed you KNOW she’s stacked on outfits and equipment lol) Each set nicer and more expensive than the last. The boys don’t destroy her lingerie because of that—and the fact that she’s a goddess and they treat her as such. Grovel at her feet and everything 🥰

Trigger warning for rape

I personally think they would be into everything 😂 But I think there are some triggering things they avoid. I know everyone likes for Dana to let loose and be dominated even in canon but…frankly, I hate when she’s placed in a submissive role. I personally think she’s a dom anyway, but with how much trauma she went through in the show with medical rape and multiple men hitting on her, touching her, and fucking dressing her without her consent—fuck no. Even if it’s her boys, I think she would be uncomfortable not being able to control a sexual situation. They make her feel safe but she has limits. Bondage and dubcon/cnc are still on the table, she just can’t be on the receiving end.

Fox would be into everything but I think somedays would be hard for him to handle degradation.

I don’t think Walter has much of a limit either (except I don’t really see him enjoying being into roughing up women even if they want it) but I think he would be a little uncomfortable sharing a bed with a partner overnight after the Avatar episode.

I’m not sure they would really roleplay (aside from Fox being a nerd and wanting some Star Trek scenario complete with uniforms lmfao) but I honestly think that because they already have a golden roleplay lineup involved: two agents fucking their superior. They might ham it up at home, though 🤔 and I’m sure at some point Fox and Dana would love to see Walter in his old military uniform if that would even fit him 😂 Young Walter was a twunk compared to the hunk we know and love lol

[creepytoes88]

Let me spoil you, baby

Y/n’s Pov

Dating Vinnie wasn't what I expected I never was a big social media person but everyone and their uncle has tiktok. Chances are if you have tiktok you have seen Vinnie so needless to say I had a major crush on him. After seeing all the seemingly “Perfect” girls he hung around with. I never thought I had a chance, ya know besides the fact that I was a nobody. However living in LA is never boring and it never disappoints I saw Vinnie's cute ass on melrose, I'm not what you would call a “skinny” girl I have relatively small breast and a pleasantly plump butt as my mother would say. I'm not ashamed of my less then flat stomach either I don't need anyones approveal to be happy with myself. However back when I first met Vinnie that was a different story I was too shy to come up to him and say hello so I just admired him from where I was standing before walking away right passed him and his friends.

I walked into the nearest store and began to look at clothes picking out a pair of nice mom jeans and a vintage Cheech and Chong shirt. I heard the bell attached to the top of the door jingle as I walk to the jewelry part of the store I began to look at the earnings and necklaces. “How’s your day been so far beautiful?” I look up towards the voice ready to tell them to fuck off but I look up to see Vinnie Fucking Hacker. I quickly recover and Smile pulling myself together “I've had a great day! how has your day been?” I smile at him “it was alright but like 10 minutes ago I think I saw the most beautiful woman in my life walk into this store so I had to pray and hope that she didn't leave.” I widen my eyes looking around seeing no one “Did she leave?” Vinnie let out a laugh “No I'm actually talking to her, if you have time I would love to grab coffee or lunch with you, right now, on me of course!”

I drop my mouth a little before looking around for the cameras “um I would love too... My names Y/n by the way, I won't lie to you I know who you are Vinnie.” I say with a sad tone half expecting him to cancel “good now I don't have to explain why people are taking pictures of me” he says as he holds out his hand “are you ready to check out or are you still shopping?” he says with a small smile “Oh yea I'm ready I can always come back anyway” I smiled back at him as I grab his hand and walk towards the cashier setting down my clothes and jewelry she quickly rings then up “That’s gonna be $357.45.” I smile and start to take my card out when suddenly Vinnie hands her 400 hundred dollars I turn to him with my mouth wide “Why did you just do that please get your money back” Vinnie laughed at me grabbing his change and the receipt “you can pay it back to me by going to dinner with me again tomorrow?” I look at him we haven’t even gotten food yet and he’s trying to schedule another date “your not paying for my food this time or next though you just lost those privileges” I say with a sassy attitude grabbing my bag and walking out Vinnie following close behind.

Fast forward to now we never really tried to hide our relationship we just let it grow naturally and didn’t speak on it. Everyone has recently been hating on me jealous girls calling me ugly and fat, at first it didn't even affect me. I know Vinnie love me but in the back of my mind it bothered me it hurt my feelings. I didn't tell Vinnie, I don't want him to feel bad or worry there is nothing anyone can do to make them stop so I just lived with it. It's been 3 weeks since I've been getting hate in my DMs on every platform everyday I wake up and it keeps piling up. I look at them again before clicking my phone off and getting in the shower to release some tension and stress.

Vinnie's Pov

“Alright ill see you guys later!” I yelled at the boys running up to my door step we just got back from the skate park and I was so Gross and sweaty. I open the door and make my way upstairs as I walked into Y/n and I’s room slipping off my shoes and stripping myself of all my sweaty clothing except my boxers I fall flat on the bed. “Ouch” I said as I felt my forehead connect to a hard surface “what the fuck” I said in a soft voice holding my head I look down and see Y/n phone a smirk spreading across my face. I'm gonna tweet weird things off her twitter I think to myself as I open her phone I see her DMS are open and people are saying some pretty nasty things I look at the other social media platforms. I'm shocked and I'm pissed how could they even say such thing about Y/n the sweetest, most humble and beautiful person I have ever met or seen for that matter. I click off the phone and place it on the bed side table hearing the shower turn off quickly I pick up my clothes off the floor and shut the door I watch as my beautiful girlfriend comes out “boo.” I say behind her seeing her jump in the air slightly “fuck baby you scared me” she said turning around kissing my lips before turning and grabbing her lotion. Now usually when Y/n gets out of the shower she drops her towel and puts on lotion before getting dressed this time she picks it up along with her clothes and speeds off to the bathroom quickly shutting the door. “What are you doing sweetie?” I ask softly before tapping on the door “n-nothing...just getting dressed”

I bit my lip slightly “baby this doesn't have to do with what I saw on your phone does it?” no reply so I tried the doorknob and it was locked “baby let me in please” I hear sniffles and shuffling “let me g-get dressed fir-” I growl slightly not even noticing “now princess” I once again her shuffling before the door clicks. Pulling the poor open I rushed in seeing Y/n naked and basically covering herself looking at the ground “oh no baby look at me” I say softly walking over to her “please beautiful” she sniffles before looking at me I see tears are running down her face. I simply kiss them away “please don't hide yourself from me baby” I kiss her cheeks and her forehead “I love you and I care about you I think you're perfect” I say before kissing her lips. Slowly she dropped her arms kissing me back harder I take my hands to her thighs picking her up which we usually don't do she would always complain and get uncomfortable. This time was no different “mmm no vinnie put me down” I kissed her lips squeezing her thighs “i got you I promise baby just to the bed” she finally wraps her legs around me her arms leaving the wall going to my hair. She wasn't even hard to lift let alone carry 20 feet I wish she didn't think and feel this way about her self. I walked her straight to a wall completely skipping the bed.

“I'm gonna show you how beautiful and amazing you are my sweet girl” I began kissing her lips and grinding against her my hard shaft against her bare clit moans spilling out of her mouth immediately. I grab her full breast in my hands playing with her soft nipples as I kiss down her neck whimpers coming from her mouth. My hard cock grinding harder against her as my mouth attacks one of her nipples my hand attacking the other pinching and pulling. Her moans get louder as I switch nipples I leave little hickeys on her boobs and chest making my way up her neck. I could feel her legs gripping onto me and her hips thrusting against mine “oo-ooh shit Vin... I'm gonna cum” she says in a hot breathy tone I kiss her lips pulling one of her knees up onto my shoulder and gasp leaves her mouth letting me enter my tongue I grind faster as I abuse her sweet mouth with my tongue swallowing her moans and pants. Her thighs shaking slightly pulling away I kiss her cheeks grabbing her other leg tossing it over my shoulder so her full body weight was against me and the wall. Her sweet pussy staring me in the face I could smell her and I moaned spreading her legs wider hearing her gasp I smirk “you smell so good baby mind if I have a taste?” she just whines and kicks her legs slightly “mmm I'll take that as a yes baby.”

I say with a smirk dropping my head slightly my nose poking around her clit and my tongue plunged as deep as I could possibly get in moans spilling from my mouth as her taste fills my mouth. Clouds cover my brain all I can think about is making my baby cum. I was making a deep growling sound in my chest and didn't even notice it everytime she tried to pull away from my mouth and nose it got louder almost like a warning to stay still. “Ahh Vinnie baby please” I started to get curious and before I know it I feel my tongue swipe across her pink button and load moan and gasp along with her grinding her hips into my face I assume she likes it. I do it again this time swirling around it making it known I'm doing it on purpose “Vinnie why are you doing that?” she say grinding against me “Do you want me to stop?” I answer her question with a question she throws her head back and moans “noooooo please more!” I pull her from the wall walking to the bed I drop her. Y/n spreads her legs apart looking up at me “butt in the air Princess spread your legs as far as you can get them.”

She flips over her hands and elbows holding her up that's not exactly what I want tho “spread your ass and pussy for me baby” I say with little smirk she lays on her face and knees as her hands pull her butt cheeks apart with a little moan. I look down admiring her sweet little holes staring at me I let out a wolf whistle “damn beautiful....i can't wait to taste you again” I grab ahold of her soft asscheeks in my hands as hers fall to her sides. I lick a thick stripe over her clit all the way to her button slightly entering my tongue before licking around it again “please daddy” I look up at her pushing my thumb in to her greedy pussy “yess daddy more please” I chuckle “what more could you want baby?” she slightly blushes turning her head the other way “mmmm baby Daddy isn't a mind reader if you want something you have to speak up.” I say with a smirk “p-please ea-” she shakes her head and takes a deep breath “please eat me” I chuckle she's so cute “eat what baby?”

I rub her thigh with my other unused hand and kiss her squishy butt cheeks definitely enjoying myself “God I love your bubble butt princess it's amazing If I had my way I would sleep on it, roll on it, and most definitely eat it” I say giving her the ok to ask biting down on her ass “YES YES DADDY EAT MY ASS PLEASE” I laugh before spreading her open and I lay a kiss on her wet hole as a moan leaves her mouth I lick around for a second before slipping my tongue in slightly before pulling out. Her moans and whimpers music to my ears I repeat this a few times till I think she's loose enough to put my tongue fully in “ready my dirty little girl” she moans in response and I slip my tongue fully into her as both my thumbs attack her clit and slit “FUCK DA-ADDY MORE PLEASE” I eat her like crazy shaving my tongue in between both holes as I slap her ass and clit “OOOOH FUCK IM CUMMING” she yells as I feel wetness on my chin and fingers.

I pull away dropping down next to her before turn my head to meet her gaze “sit on my face Princess” I say as I pull her hand she slowly moves over to me with wild eyes I pull her over me before pulling her hips down to meet my face she was completely sitting on my face with all her weight as I dive my tongue in for a third time occasionally slipping it in her butt making her moan and grind against my face “Daddy I'm coming already” she says humping my face with her hands in my hair “MMMMM” she gasps as she cum on my face for the 4 time “fuck princess you ready”

I say as I pull my boxers down she nods as she lays down spreading her legs for me “such a good girl for Daddy” I pick up one of her legs wrapping it around my hip tossing the other over my shoulder before slipping into her. I grunt as her walls squeeze around me I hear her moan “shit daddy your so big” I give a breathy laugh “i think your just tight baby” I say before I thrust into her. Moans leaving both of our mouths as I pound into her I pull out flipping her over and push back in “AH” she groans “you good baby” I say as I thrust softly “ye-YES” I smirk pushing into her as deep as possible “can I put my babies inside of you baby” she gasp and turns her head to look at me “i wouldn't want anyone else to spend my life with and I can't think of ayone I would rather raise my kids with then you baby” she drops her head moaning as she thrust her hips back in to me “flip me back over so I can hold it in Daddy we might not get lucky the first time but it's worth a shot.” Y/n moans grabbing my hand I flip her over putting her legs on my shoulders fucking into her “mmm baby I'm gonna fuck my baby into you honey” I bite and suck at her neck “would you like that?”

She moans and throws her head back moaning “hold it princess please just a little longer” I pant kissing her neck quickly I grab my pillow and shove it under her ass before stuffing my entire length inside of her moaning. Releasing my load deep inside of her before pulling my hips out almost all the way fucking my cum inside of her till I couldn't feel it sloshing around anymore. “Do you wanna cuddle baby” she nods her head I turn her to her side putting her under the cover getting up to turn the light off climbing back in behind her “stay still princess I wanna make sure nothing comes out tonight” she smiles holding out her hand. Knowing she was going to be sensitive I grab it kissing her shoulders and back as I slowly slip my limp cock inside of her before it hardened back up “oo-oh shit Daddy I love your big cock” she says sleepily I pull her close to me kissing her lips “well we love you too” she opens her eyes “ew” she laughs making me laugh too “go to bed brat I love you beautiful” “I love you to handsome I'm very excited to have a mini you running around”

[otp-holic]

Will this be the night? (ALSO IN A03)

A random piece of online advertising unleashes some movie memories of a Summer afternoon in 1932

1.5 Ks Fanfic + Pictures Inside. Part of the Never let us lose what we have gained series (AO3) Silly drabble born from my love of classic movies... that ended up not having anything to do with classic movies.

BROOKLYN'S KING'S THEATRE

Poster for Cary Grant's Retrospective. Printed paper 2025.

A poster for the upcoming month long celebration of the movies of Cary Grant to be held in Brooklyn.

Bucky is not expecting a vivid memory of the past to jump at him from a piece of online location-targeted promotion popping on his phone as he and Steve are wandering around the neighborhood on a random Friday.

But the 21st century works in mysterious ways and Google is kindly inviting him to check “Cary Grant: A Celebration”, a month-long chronological retrospective of all his movies taking place at a nearby hipster cinema starting… in half an hour.

He beams as a long string of memories of the both of them in different afternoons and movies plays in his head; how they counted the cents for the admission price, and how Bucky learned to sneak into the movie every time that did not add up to two full tickets.

“Buck, you’ve been smiling at your phone in silence for a whole minute,” Steve interrupts his daydreaming. “Should I be jealous? Worried?”

“Sorry,” he answers, still smiling about the memories. “I think I’m leaving you for Google, they see inside my one hundred years old soul; But I might give you another chance if you don’t mind a change of plans for the afternoon.”

“Lead the way, but can you give me some heads up?” Steve chuckles, more than used to Bucky’s ways.

He takes Steve’s hand to direct them towards the movie theatre and thinks about how much information he wants to share.

Although he is the one who still relies on the comfort of 30s and 40s movies whereas Steve keeps getting bolder with his options, Steve has always loved Cary Grant and Bucky thinks he’s going to appreciate his choice since this particular movie has a history (sad history, maybe) for them, so he debates on whether to tell him or not.

“We are going to the movies. But the real ones, not that shit on Netflix you keep choosing,” he settles for half-disclosure.

“Damn, mister life in black and white strikes again. Embrace the 21st century, Barnes, I think you’ll like it!”, Steve laughs.

“Hey, I embrace it more than you do! At least I look the part of a mid-thirties man from it instead of a fifty-year-old hiding in fucking khakis. Albeit a very hot one, I’ll give you that.”

They both laugh. It’s not the first time these remarks fly between them and having a routine, running jokes, and running pet peeves is very soothing after everything they have gone through.

They’re getting closer to the cinema now, and Bucky can already see the Billboard announcing the retrospective and a small queue forming upfront. He takes a side look at Steve to see if he has noticed and he can certainly tell that his curiosity has peaked.

“Surprise! Call it a win-win, it might be up my alley, but you used to love Cary Grant movies,” Bucky smiles as they reach their place in the queue and glance at the program for the afternoon.

‘This is the Night (1932)’, the poster says, ‘Cary Grant's feature film debut on the big screen’

Bucky is deep in nostalgia, remembering a summer day of 32 when they were waiting in line for the same film and how the evening turned out, but when he looks in search of his partner’s reaction, it’s not what he expected at all.

“Steve, you ok?” he asks, worried at seeing Steve frozen in place.

Steve nods. His whole face is deep red, but at least he is responsive. He looks ashamed and Bucky is shifting from worried to curious.

“Jesus, this movie,…” he chuckles now.

“You seem to remember, then. I thought you might.”

It was not a happy memory: Steve had felt really ill halfway through, looking white as a sheet of paper and about to die on Bucky. They had to leave the unfinished movie and run home, as per Steve’s request. But as far as Bucky remembers, nothing to be ashamed of.

“Why are you acting weird? Oh my god, Steven, are you allergic to this movie?”

The silence before Steve answers is a little too long and the queue moves forward.

“Shit, this is not easy to say and I’m sorry in advance.”

“Duly noted, but could you try to explain? I’m lost and I didn’t expect a full-on confession of something to be sorry about when I decided to follow Google’s intelligent advice to an unfinished movie. I just thought it was a good excuse for a change of plans. And kind of closure.”

Steve takes a breath and starts talking.

“I wasn’t honest with you, Buck. Back then…” he stops, searching for words, nervously musing on his beard. “Ah, I cannot believe this hasn’t come up at some point, but there it goes. I absolutely lied to you that day: I wasn’t sick or half dying and I am very very guilty of using my poor health to run away from that place and that movie, but I did the only thingI could think of.”

Bucky is at a loss for words, he’s still deciding if he is angry, curious, or somewhere in between.

“But… but you were feverish and white as a ghost and you said you had palpitations!”

Steve seems to think for a moment again and the bastard laughs so loud they get a curious look from the people behind. And taking advantage of the queue moving up again, he gets really really close to Bucky who honestly thinks he’s going to try to kiss himself out of the situation since it’s a bulletproof strategy.

But he doesn’t: He goes for Bucky’s ear instead, and whispers.

“I had a boner like you wouldn’t believe.”

Bucky gasps loudly totally taken aback while Steve takes a step back and looks at him in the eye more amused and hungry than ashamed, but still blushing.

“But hey, not all lies! I was somehow sick. And pale since my blood was… otherwise occupied. And I was barely 14!”

Bucky laughs at the dork. His dork. But the information is still making its way into his brain.

“Oh my God,” he exclaims as it starts to settle, “You piece of shit, you pulled the poor sick child card when you were just plain horny. I was worried to my bones as we run to your home. Shame on you Rogers!”

“Me? It was your fucking fault! Yours and Cary Grant’s and your stupid grins and stupid chins, those clefts!” he’s screaming in whispers so Steve Rogers’ teenage boner doesn’t make it to the news, but he’s talking as if he was pronouncing an important speech to the UN, “What was a 14-year-old in the fucking 30s popping one upon seeing an actor who kind of looked like a very tall version of his very male best friend to do?”

He is about to say something, but Steve literally covers his mouth with one hand giving Bucky no other option but to stick his tongue and lick the palm.

“Gross, Buck. I’m not done!”, he dries his hand on Buckys’ shirt before he goes on. “I’m not done because as I was still processing all that, you kept brushing your goddamned hand with mine when you went for popcorn! Over and over and over. It was torture. I have palpitations now just thinking about it.”

Bucky full-on laughs. One of those real ones that come more and more lately and that he honestly thought he would never get to experience again.

They have reached the box office, so he doesn’t push it further. For now.

“Two tickets for `This is the Night´, please.” Bucky smiles at the box-office guy. “He is paying, tho. I paid last time we tried to see this one and he didn’t have the decency to stay until the end.”

He actually feels like a teen as Steve takes his hand into the theatre, as he very intentionally buys popcorn to share, and as they start full-on making out on their seats during the commercials once the lights are out.

“Wanna know another secret, Buck?” Steve whispers a few minutes later, eyes on the starting movie as he brushes Bucky’s hand with intention over the popcorn bucket. His flustered face and recently kissed lips bathed by dancing lights and shadows coming from the screen. “It’s a good thing we were already together in ‘38 when “Bringing up baby” came out because I was able to plan ahead and lure you into that memorable window fuck at our old apartment before the show, or we would have totally missed one of our favorite movies, too.”

Bucky hates Steve with the force of the universe. Or maybe not, but he’s not playing clean.

“Raincheck on the movie?” he manages to whisper back as he drives Steve’s hand to his already noticeable hard-on. Two can play this game.

“Oh, poor Buck. Do you have palpitations” Steve chuckles, lips wet on Bucky’s ear and gripping harder on his bulge instead of letting go. “Was that the memory of the window fuck? Or all the making out? Tell me so I don’t do it again.”

“You are a punk, Steve Rogers,” Bucky answers before standing up to leave, closely followed by a smiling Steve.

Argh, sorry for deleting and uploading again, but i had technical issues with this.... so here it goes again. I need to free myself from this one!

[jaeheewillalwaysbemyfav]

so since you're gonna do the avatar!mc au with the entities you think each brother would fear the most (SO excited for that btw, my friend can attest to the fact that i've basically been rambling about tma x om nonstop since the first post you made that put the two together), i'd love to hear your thoughts on which entity each brother would *be* an avatar of, if you're cool with sharing! personally i love the ideas of specifically vast!levi and dark!belphie but i'd love to hear your takes on the concept! <3

So because of how time works, despite receiving this ask on July 12, by the time you see this it’ll be August! So the entire Avatar!MC series should be out by now, which I hope you will/have enjoy/ed. I wholeheartedly agree with the concept of Vast! Levi, which I’ve talked about before (as you know ;) ), but I will happily ramble about it again!

These aren’t gonna be short fics though bc I do Yearn to save that energy for The Longfic, which is still in the planning stages because a) I can’t pick a timeline, and b) trying to match up the timelines of Obey Me and TMA is hard, especially when I tend to have a violent disrespect for actually paying attention to the timing of plot events in both. I already fucked up a part of the plotting because I forgot the order we get pacts with the brothers lmao

Content warnings: Mentions/allusions to tma-typical Spookies, yet another installation of my Cursed Crossover idea, lengthy debates about what makes someone choose to become an avatar of fear, spoilers for Lesson 16+ of Obey Me and S5 of TMA

What Entity Do I Think The Brothers Would Serve? (Cursed TMA x Obey Me Crossover)

Lucifer

So I put him as falling victim to the Eye/Beholding bc of his whole thing about Secrets and Pride being about wanting control over your own image

And he does have a creepy tendency in canon to always know when his brothers are up to some Dumb Shit

BUT! You know what we see in Lucifer’s character that we see in a certain Entity?

A simultaneous manipulation of others and submission to being manipulated by a higher power

That’s right, I think Luci would be a Web avatar

But Winter, Lucifer wouldn’t wanna take marching orders from someone/thing else! He’s too proud for that— You’re right! He doesn’t want to. But he will.

He willingly submitted himself and his family to Diavolo for eternity to get what he wanted (saving Lilith)

And from how much we see him work, it’s safe to say that he’s a pretty damn essential part of running the Devildom

If he really wanted to, he could probably successfully pull a coup on Diavolo

But he doesn’t, because he’s trapped himself by his own honour code

Thus, the sexual tension bromance we all know and love/insist is Deeply Problematic and blacklist (depending on how much you like/hate dialuci lol)

10/10, would fill with spiders again

Mammon

I put Mammon as falling victim to the Buried for pretty obvious reasons

But admittedly picking a fear he’d serve is trickier

I had to get a bit abstract with it, but I think the Hunt might suit him

Not necessarily the primal *cough* and police brutality *cough* parts of the Hunt tho

More like how Basira was considered an avatar of the Hunt in the fearpocalypse because of her mission/promise to Daisy

See, Greed can stem from fear

Fear of losing what you have, of no longer being able to support yourself, of being preyed upon by others

So people become greedy as a defense mechanism, to protect what they have

If they’re on the offensive, they won’t be targeted

Also, if you’re constantly pursuing more more more, there’s no time to think about anything else

Like consequences, or guilt, or Feelings

If Mammon let his little tough guy act go too far for too long, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say he could start heading down the path to avatarhood

After all, people pay big money for hitmen and bounty hunters…

Leviathan

As I said last time, I can see why people would associate Levi with the Lonely first: he’s a shut in, he acts like he wants nothing to do with people/would rather be alone, and I get it

BUT! All of that actually stems from the fact that Levi has terrible self-esteem and thinks he deserves to be this gross shut in loser

While envy can make you want to bring others down to your level, so to speak, Levi tends to just shun “normies”, not actively conspire to sabotage them

He actually does crave understanding and to have people in his life, he just doesn’t know how to go about it

Boy’s got Mega Social Anxiety is what I’m saying (funny how both the Lonely and the Eye can be real bad for that, huh)

But the Vast? Nihilism? Takes all the pressure off

If everyone is a small, insignificant speck in the face of an uncaring, unfathomably large cosmos, who cares what you do? Who cares what people think of you?

Yeah, you’d be kinda weird too if you stared into the infinite abyss of the ocean and realized it was just the maw of a gargantuan sea monster too, Karen, lay off

Plus aesthetically, the great Awful Deep most people fear in the ocean is a comfort to Levi

And again, THE VAST IS MORE THAN JUST THE SKY

I WENT ON A BOAT ONCE

LIKE REAL FAR OUT, SO I COULDN’T SEE LAND FOR DAYS

IT WAS JUST ENDLESS B L U E

AND I WAS ON A CRUISE IN THE CARIBBEAN

I SAW A FRACTION OF THE OCEAN’S S U R F A C E AND IT WAS I M M E N S E

Did you know we’ve only explored like 5% or whatever of our oceans? Think about that! Every Single Thing we know about what’s in there is just the tip of the iceberg!!! GOD KNOWS WHAT’S DOWN THERE!!! PROBABLY FUCKED UP FISH IS WHAT

*ahem* anyway, fishee

Satan

Another tricky boi

I marked him down as fearing the Desolation, as a reflection of what he fears most in himself

I probably could have also gone with Slaughter, but I’d say that’s more baby/early-Satan

Desolation is also about destruction of potential, and Satan has very carefully built himself into a non-rage-monster person

So tearing that all away from him is :)))

But what would Satan give himself over to?

Ceaseless Watcher, I want that twink OBLITERATED—

Satan clings to knowledge and erudition to distance himself from the rage he was born as

“Watch and learn” is literally how he became a person

I find it deeply funny that it could also easily be how he becomes a monster once again

Also if you think the avatar of Wrath wouldn’t have a use for supernatural blackmail you’re just straight up incorrect

Couple that with Satan’s various connections and he’d be a Force to Reckon With

Asmodeus

I put him as a victim of the Corruption bc I found it extremely fitting considering the duality of his romanticized image vs the “dirty” fluid-filled nature of Lust.

Lust can be really nasty, but as licentious as Asmo’s supposed to be, he’s surprisingly coy

(now part of that comes from the fact that Obey Me isn’t strictly 18+/full-on porn, but still)

There’s a lot of Interesting Ideas to unpack there with attitudes towards sex vs sensuality and idealisation vs reality

Now as for an avatar… I debated this for a very long time, tossing around Eye, Stranger, Spiral, even Web for like one second

But I think I’ve got it

Slaughter!

Specifically the musical/random outbursts of violence side (not so much the war side)

Why? Well for one, Biblical Asmodeus is said to “"transport men into fits of madness and desire [...] with the result that they commit sin, and fall into murderous deeds (Testament of Solomon, verse 23).”

But also, Obey Me Asmo’s affair with that portrait chick from the earlier lessons started a whole ass war

Like it or not, the boy is very good at instilling manic violence in people

They don’t call it bloodlust for nothing

Beelzebub

I paired Beel with an End avatar MC bc the boy fears losing his loved ones like he lost Lilith

You could argue that Desolation would fit there too but I liked how it fit Satan better

Now as for a Vibe…

I’m tied between Flesh and Corruption tbh

Though corruption is mostly bc buge :)

So I’ll talk about the Flesh

So uh, mass consumerism, meat is meat, cannibalism… see where I’m going?

Ignoring the Hans because that was super racist, the two Flesh avatars I remember best are Jared Hopworth and The Guy Who Stuck His Arm in a Spooky Meat Grinder To Feed His Buds

I think of Jared in relation to Beel not because of the gym thing, but because his very chill/apathetic attitude towards his patron is similar to how I’d picture Beel’s approach to all this

Like “well, guess I’m here now”

I love Beel as much as everyone else, but he’s not exactly apologetic about his… habits

Not to the degree that he’d actually try and change them anyway

So if he got started on the path to Flesh avatarhood, he’d be pretty fucked

Belphegor

I put Web for him as a fear almost entirely because of the concept of Uno Reverse Card, ngl

It does technically tie into his whole thing about being trapped in the attic, since he’d denied all agency and freedom in there, but… Uno Reverse

Dark!Belphie is an interesting concept, and MAG86 “Tucked In” is iconic, but tbh I don’t really… Get the Dark

Don’t get me wrong, put me in a dark place and I will be scared, I don’t like not seeing things, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around why one would become an avatar of the Dark

It’s not a very “primary” fear imo? Like, I’m scared of the dark bc I can’t see what’s there, ie. a threat could be there and I wouldn’t know, but intellectually I know it’s just the absence of light. That’s not really spooky on its own.

I guess what I’m saying is I can attribute spookier things related to the Dark better to other Entities, so I’m not sure what its draw is specifically

According to the Entity Sexiness Survey I did a while back, there’s apparently some Catholic stuff going on with the Dark so maybe that’s why i don’t get it lmao

Anyway I’d put Belphie down for Spiral

“What lies behind a smile” indeed cowboy

Apparently it’s getting choked

Is it because MC’s entire relationship with him is originally founded on a lie?

Is it because the Spiral deals with distortions in your perception, gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing, as well as foggy liminal mental spaces like between sleep and consciousness, death and life?

Is it because I think Belphie would absolutely delight in driving someone bananas by fucking with their dreams until it bleeds into their waking life?

Is it because being a person or consistent being at all is too much effort, consistent internal geography is hard, fuck it, just be an endless twisting series of hallways?

Yes :)

[otomelavenderhaze]

My honest, but with no big spoilers plot-wise, review about Tears of Themis.

If you wanna get a general idea about how this game works, I think it’s fair to point out that one reminds me of very loosly of My Candy Love given the screentime we get with each character, it also reminds me of Ikemen for the tight plot and engaging story with a complex but still pretty straightfoward and it reminds me Queen's Choice in the composition of the app and with certain mechanics, as well, the possible only platonic type of relationship that you can get with the four male leads. 

However and even so, Tears ot Themis is still pretty much it’s own thing with the Sherlock Holmes-like approach to the cases, it’s own world building with it’s own rules and pretty advanced technological set up and hits of retro/vintage elements here and there, with a very much anime styled storywise and artwise scenarios but a really tight and engaging plot.

So I don’t think it’s fair to draw any further comphrasions and instead let’s talk about my game experience with this one so far: 

The game give us multiple ways of engaging with story/plot. 

You have the main episodes to play, with criminal or civil cases to solve and win over. 

Then in a different section, each male character has it’s own lockable side route, where you can know them better and get the spend some time with them after raising some affinity AND each card from the Gacha that you evolve and level up can have it's own little story that costs nothing and most of them feels like a date. I have played some of it and it's really really cute.

Now I think this game will approach romance in a more platonic way. The romance in the first four episodes and for what I saw so far, is very light, platonic and soft. I’m not sure if we will ever evolve to a full-relationship type of dynamic with the male leads. 

However, I wouldn’t rule it out for the future just yet, since it feels like an otome. 

We get some truly cute moments with MC that clearly has a lot of chemistry with all four of the male leads. They all have their own dynamic with her, different kind of relationships and levels of intimacy. Every moment we get to share with them feels different and they all are interesting, mysterious and charming around her. 

They’re also all very linked to the plot in different ways, like Artem is also an attorney, meanwhile, Luke is a detective, and so go on and on - they all have their own weight to the plot, but it doesn’t feel unbalanced at all. I had a very pleasant surprise dealing with them in those different scenarios, because I never felt bored or annoyed by any of them in any shape or form. 

The art of the game is gorgeous. 

The backgrounds, the side characters, the main characters, the cgs!! Everything is so beautiful all the time that it can catch your attention really easily. The animation is also really well done, it doesn’t look weird even tho, looks very cartoony sometimes. 

Some cgs don't have animations, most of the special ones do and when they do, they're pretty and cool. It’s totally something that you can stare and simp for hours kkkkkk I didn't dislike any of the ones I got, not even with the characters that I feel less connected with.

As a beta tester I can't really talk much about the cap in the points we get to play the game - because they gave us so much energy to test the most we could.

However, I can see how the energy points system will put certain cap on us, because you will need energy points for EVERYTHING - aside from somethings that you won’t, like the card’s stories. I pushed my limits somedays and I can see how this can push someone to actually spend money on the game to get through the story. 

But I can’t point out if it’s gonna be super unfair or not yet, because, like I said, they almost give us infinity supply for the energy points, so I went through everything I had without thinking too much and I did almost run out of spare things to use, indeed, but I was commiting some mistakes and I just being full-on about it.  

As a Gacha Game it’s what it is. I also can’t speak much about my experience with it, because they give a lot of things to us and I did spend everything I would got in game to get cards. I wasn’t really trying to get any that I really wanted, so I can’t speak about the frustration of not getting them - I got a lot of cool ones, but they did supply us with a lot of points to exchange for cards, so. 

The system to level up the CG is the complex part. You can upgrate a card in way too many ways. However, I have played through the fourth episode and I didn’t find any block with the ones I had leveled up (I had 3/4 RS leveled up on their main level and I played without any worry at all). 

I'm not going in dept about what each episode is about here, however, I need to point out that each case is pretty straightforward but really fun with a twist to play. 

MC is an attorney, but she also acts like an investigator in a very Sherlock Holmes way, picking apart small things and piece together, with us the players, what happened. And to make it even funnier, we get to play a little bit of Ace Attorney in this game kkkkkkkk it has a really obvious inspo on that one and it's a really cool addition. Any one that at least are familiar with the memes can pick apart which parts have a nod to Ace Attorney.

That being said, every case doesn't really feel like a challenge per say. You won't fail the whole episode if you commit mistakes on the trials. The game is more about the journey than really create a challenge for us and I can see it as something good. Maybe some of you will hate it, but I was fine with how it was.

I wanna see which direction Mihoyo will take it story-wise (I’m actually really curious) since they're doing a such good job with Genshin's and Hokai's story. They both have really well tied up stories, with a dark twist and full of symbologies that gives clues to a bigger picture.  

It feels like the cases of every episode for the main story are key for the major plot BUT not quite what the major plot is going to be, there’s for sure something bigger going on and I’m very interested to know what exactly it is.

Overall my experience with this game was really good. 

I loved Artem and Marius, I’m totally taken by their personalities and by how handsome they are kkkkkk Luke is also super cute and handsome, he was a very pleasant surprise. Vyn is an interesting character, very morally grey and kinda shady but really trustworthy too kkkkkk which was a fun mix - but I would say he’s my less favorite. 

I wasn’t expecting enjoy the story so much, but I did. I wasn’t expecting just how cute and charming the male leads are, Marius and Luke in special really surprised me and hooked me in. I was pretty sold on Artem alone, but now I’m there for them all. I wanna learn more about them and play more with their stories in the future. 

[elffees]

some little additions to the ep 5 endings for low brotherhood

oh this post is going to hurt but i’m doing it anyway. these are just some brainstorms on tweaks to the endings bc for the most part, they all come off as high brotherhood, which is fine for me tbh bc i have never played a LB route cause im Soft™️. but i’m also Curious™️ and thought up some variations that couldve been made for people that did have a LB playthrough

these are mostly tiny changes. nothing too major bc like in canon, i think morality having the highest affect on Cross vs. Surrender is fine, but it would’ve been kinda cool if the epilogues had been tweaked a little to reflect brotherhood also. so possible tweaks i thought of is basically what this post is about.

here’s some:

redemption

(sidenote: okay i said the changes were mostly little and i promise they are. this ending specifically tho just has the most significant ones i’ve made by adding in like 2 extra scenes. but that’s really it)

in this ending things are the same when they reach the road block, including daniel tearing up, until sean says “you’re my brother”. they do not exchange i love yous nor hug or touch foreheads. sean goes straight to “and i know it’s gonna be alright” while keeping an outstretched arm on daniel’s shoulder. daniel also goes straight to his “how do you know”. the car scene plays out the same from then on except without hugging. they mostly stay separately in each other’s seats.

daniel doesn’t panic and jump to his feet when the police start walking sean to the car. he stands up resigned and watches sadly but quietly. sean doesnt say anything as he gets in the car but does look back at daniel before they pull off

in the collage, there is still a picture of daniel visiting sean in prison, but they don’t hug and just speak tensely across from one another.

daniel doesn’t come on the day of sean’s release, karen is the only default. now, like lyla, daniel is a determinant. (imagine if they were all determinant and even karen didn’t come meaning sean could get out of jail with nobody in the world caring about him jesus christ) there’s a scene with sean afterwards visiting daniel’s apartment. when daniel opens the door, he’s shocked and slams a palm to his forehead, clearly having forgot sean’s release date.

there’s small polite smiles on their faces as they greet each other at the door, but sean never makes it past the front steps. their conversation is brief before daniel gestures that he actually was walking out and has to go. they say their goodbyes with a casual hug (quick back slap) before daniel hops in his car using his power and pulls off with sean watching.

sean still goes back to their first campsite but alone. it mostly plays out the same where he still cries, but with no comfort, and then drives away towards the right after taking one last look at the trail

the epilogue ends with daniel stepping out of his car and approaching faraway friends that he waves to. they’re drawn vague and out of focus to save on production costs (don’t worry dontnod i gotchu). the angle of the scene shifts so it looks like daniel is walking off towards the left

summary (1/2) -> sean took the heat in order to let daniel have a childhood in america. and he succeeds in this, but because their relationship was poor, during his incarceration their bond practically turns to dust. daniel gets a childhood, but sean loses his own and his brother in return

summary (2/2) -> sean still wants some kind of relationship with his brother, but its awkward and distant. daniel does not hate sean. he holds some semblance of polite respect for him bc in his HM!eyes sean “did the right thing” at the end of their journey. but overall, they are not that close and are more like acquaintances who just worked on a group project one time.

blood brothers

sean doesn’t say “be careful” before daniel gets out the car. just “you know what to do”

they don’t hold hands after daniel’s massacre. daniel just stares out the window while sean focuses ahead

(after the 6 years) when sean backs into the garage and daniel sees he’s being held at gunpoint, daniel doesn’t do anything at first. he doesn’t even move forward to get a better look. he simply watches the scene play out until the gang members notice he’s there, bc sean keeps glancing his way, and they begin to threaten him too. that is when he uses his powers.

sean giving daniel a pat on the shoulder? yeah in this LB version it’s now a shove. he noticed that daniel did not have his back. daniel just shrugs.

he still heads out to their patio and takes a seat. the scene is angled so that the player sees sean over daniel’s shoulder think about joining him, wanting to go smoke, with their dad’s lighter already out so we still see it. but he instead waves his hand dismissively and turns back into the shop.

daniel stares out towards the beach alone.

summary -> they gain freedom and escape to mexico, but their relationship is empty. there’s no polite respect, but there’s no outright animosity either. it’s just….. empty.

lone wolf

daniel doesn’t say the “it’s my turn to take care of us” line (omg it was so good tho). it’s now smthg along the lines of “i won’t let you stop me here after all this”

when saying the “we made it” set of lines, he’s still happy but also boastful, ready to hold it over sean that he was right

he doesn’t cry. instead of sobbing over the death of his brother, he is more shocked bc of how unexpected it is. he still calls out for sean’s name frantically, but does not get distraught afterwards. instead of leaning onto sean’s arm like he does in canon, after it sinks in that sean’s dead, he only grimaces while sitting uncertainly in his seat

the pictures stay the same

when sitting on the beach and looking over the ocean, he is not drawing in sean’s journal. he still has a small smile on his face but we also see him taking swigs of the beer can(?) here instead of later

also instead of a teardrop tattoo, he has a tattoo of 3 dots. the teardrop has several meanings, including death of a loved one or crime affiliation. but bc a lot of players interpreted it as being a tear for sean, then i think it’s preferable to just not have it in the LB version at all to avoid confusion and just have him with the 3 dots to make it clear it’s solely part of the gang/crime lifestyle

(moving on) daniel heads over to sean’s memorial and it is absolutely not as decorated as it is in canon. there is only 1 candle and no plants. the brick is still there but instead of a cross, it’s just a hastily laid single wooden plank with sean’s name scribbled down it. there’s no eye patch. the only thing of sentimental value there is their dad’s lighter.

daniel doesn’t sit, he stands looking at the memorial while drinking his beer. he realizes it’s empty tho and lazily litters the can beside sean’s memorial before turning to walk off and as he does he sees the gang.

most of their interaction plays out the same, but while daniel’s walking away instead of sparing the group, it’s clear he kills them as they are all unmoving, us seeing the dude with the gun flop to the ground over daniel’s shoulder. this change is bc personally i interpreted daniel sparing them as a sortve homage to sean’s high morality in this route. as in he’ll still do what needs to be done to survive, but will try to kill as little as possible out of respect for sean’s beliefs. so being as though daniel does not value sean as much in this LB version, he doesn’t care about that and kills them without thought.

summary -> for the most part, daniel still has the relatively content life he does in canon except, going by the now bare minimum memorial and littering, he doesn’t value sean’s memory nearly as much as he does in HB. sean’s death was ofc still a shock and smthg he still remembers, but it didn’t crush him like it does HB!daniel, and he honestly feels more annoyance than regret. in his LM!eyes, hes disappointed and thinks its a little stupid that sean wanted to switch gears at the border like that. he doesn’t hate him tho, he just sees sean as a disappointing memory.

parting ways

at the border daniel still cries, but instead of saying sorry to sean he says “i can’t do this sean. i have to go”, making it extra clear he’s not crying bc it’s the end, he’s crying bc of the damage he does not want to do.

he still says the “i hope you’ll be happy” line, but instead of being genuine it’s now full of disappointment with a twinge of bitterness

you know that quick angry facial expression he has before he’s walked off by the cops? WELL HOWDY IT DEFINITELY STAYS

the picture collage still shows him having a relatively happy upbringing with stephen, claire, and chris

when he’s on the phone at the reynolds’ and claire comes up to him, he’s still smiling and content. when he gets the letter with no sender name, his smile drops after taking the pic out and realizing who it’s from. the player doesn’t see yet tho. emphasis on 1 pic bc it’s not several like it is in canon/HB.

daniel rolls his eyes and with his power tosses the envelope & photo card (no sand btw) across the room so they land on a distant table. the camera zooms in on them and we finally see it’s of sean in mexico.

when claire comes back into the room, she halts seeing the mail and picks them up, glancing between them and daniel regretfully before sitting down

we go back to daniel and with arms crossed, he glances out at the tree in the yard for a brief moment before walking away

the scene stays focused on the tree and we still zoom out to the Wolf Brothers carving, except it has a not-recent slash cut through it

summary -> daniel gets a childhood in america and sean gets his freedom in mexico, but their relationship is destroyed. daniel doesn’t approve of sean’s final decision at all and holds little to no respect for him. sean sends the post card bc, like in redemption, he still wishes to hold some kind of relationship, but he doesnt try all that hard and doesn’t miss daniel that much to send several pics and a chunk of sand.

and so these were some of my ideas for low brotherhood endings! i tried to put them in order from most positive (minute respect) to most negative (outright disdain). i’d love to hear thoughts on this or if anyone wants to add to these, then that’s fine to! just don’t break my heart pls

[helliontherapscallion]

omg pls share the story abt the lecture from that girl’s dad (only if u feel like it) but seriously ppl it’s not that hard to put a mask on to help the spread of a virus. just wear it, it keeps u safe. and for the ppl who don’t care then just wait til it affects u, bcs covid isn’t a game. I just wish ppl were more serious abt it

Ok so sit down and buckle up kiddos and grab some snacks bc this is a helluva ride

Little background info: I have been a section leader for both my junior and senior years now. When the new freshmen came in my first year of being section leader I was hyped as hell. And then this new freshman whips out a lighter and lights it WHILE WE’RE INSIDE THE SCHOOL MIGHT I ADD with a straight face looking off into the distance before we ask her to put it away. She also always has a pocket knife on her that we found on the ground during band camp. I’ll call her POS. 

I tried to like POS I really did, but then she turned out to be a bigoted racist asshole (she also drinks deer blood straight from the corpse and simps over jeffery dahmer so even more red flags). It was extremely hard for me to treat her like I did with the other people in my section, but I managed to treat her the same as the other people and avoided her for the most part (thank god she wasn’t in my subsection I would’ve actually gone insane)

Flash forward to this year. Covid was hitting full force and we had to quarantine for the first two months of our season setting us back by a lot. She was wishywashy about rejoining but as the most senior leader of my section my band director was on my ass about getting a straight answer from her and fast. So I kinda had to force her to give me an answer (which she told me she was doing it quickly which leads me to think she already knew she was doing it) so she already was going into the season hating my guts

When we finally had an in person rehearsal for the first time, she wasn’t wearing a mask so when I asked her where it was she looked at me like I was the dumbass and said in a matter-of-fact tone “it’s in my pocket” and pointed to the confederate flag bandana hanging out of her pocket. Those four words told me that this season was going to be a fuckin long one with her. I just deadpanned (she couldn’t see it tho bc mask, sunglasses, and floppy hat blocking my entire face) and said “I’d rather it be on your face. (band director and marching instructor’s names) will have my ass if they see you not wearing one.” She rolls her eyes and puts it on (at least it was over her nose)

A few months go by with me telling her constantly to put on a mask bc I am responsible for my section and I’d be damned if one of them got sick bc of one idiot being stupid that I could prevent. She is getting madder and madder with each passing rehearsal. 

Band camp rolls around and it changed from 5 13 hour days to 15 3 hour ones and I am already done with her bs. We get our dots and I mentally groan bc she’s next to me for the vast majority of the show. She is between me (an asthmatic) and my close friend (vvv immunocompromised and also hates her, I’ll call her S) so now I’m more worried about covid going around the section. It was in this time that I find out that at least 5 other people out of 20 also have pre existing conditions that make them susceptible. So now I make it even more my mission to make her wear a mask. 

It was in the middle of band camp when she is yet again not wearing a mask (we were just marching without instruments) and I turn to her and as kindly as possible (it was the second time that day) asked her to put on her mask. She once again rolls her eyes and says “ya know, (band director) walked past me 3 times and hasn’t said shit, so I think I’m gonna listen to him and not you.” S and another friend of mine looks over in shock cuz she just talked back to me. They were about to say something but I wove them off. POS wants to fuck with me? Fine. I’ll just go full force with this. She wants petty?? I’ll give her petty, I’ve been holding off all season. 

So I’m marching there for the next twenty minutes quietly seething and counting more aggressively. She’s getting annoyed, but I pull the section leader card and tell her that she needs to be counting as loud as I am bc her feet was lowkey off time. After we break off for a gush and go (very short water break), I go straight to my band director and use my limited water break to tell him what she told me. He apologizes and says that he thought she was just taking a breather. He tells her to put on a mask and she does so and glares at me the rest of the rehearsal. 

She blocks me on all social media and I obviously clown on her in private with the other section leader (he’s more of a pacifist and never really told her to wear a mask which kinda pissed me off but I understood) until she makes a passing comment to my other friend about using the knife she kept in her boot. Now he tells me cuz he’s a good friend and I’m shitting myself at that point bc holy shit I might get shanked. 

I think about telling the band director but I realize that there’s no proof of her saying this and she could easily get out of this so it’s kinda pointless to tell anyone. Plus if she did shank me, she’d get into so much trouble and I’d be laughing at her from my grave/hospital bed. 

Many rehearsals go by and she still refuses to wear a mask so after one rehearsal S and I went to the band director and reminded him about our conditions and told him about how we were worried for our safety (I also told him abotu the other vulunerable ppl in the section) and he says he’s gonna do something. Next rehearsal he gives POS a warning and she begrudgingly wears a mask for the rest of the rehearsal. The next rehearsal rolls by and she isn’t wearing a mask (again) and he sends her home. Major victory for S and I.

The next sectional tho was something I wasn’t expecting. I get there like 10 minutes before it starts like I usually do in a good mood. I get out of my car and go to grab my stuff when a massive white truck with a busted muffler pulls up into the parking space next to me with a cloud of black smoke. The window rolls down and reveals POS’s dad and POS herself in the passanger seat. 

Of course I’m thinking that this is the day I die and start mentally preparing to yell for help to my other section members 100 feet away on the field already.

Mans starts to lecture me saying things like “it’s unhealthy to wear a mask outside bc it’s like a pitri dish under there. 6th grade science!” (I am not joking or overexaggerating with this, he actually said that). I really wanted to say “well, 7th grade science says otherwise, but you wouldn’t know that bc I’m sure you didn’t pass 6th grade, but go off ig” but I didn’t bc I didn’t want to get shanked or disappear randomly. I just tell him that I am only doing what my band director told me to do and that there are tons of people (myself included) that can really get hurt from just being in contact with covid. He says that’s bullshit and tries to tell me that I’m an idiot before I cut him off by telling him once again that I am just trying to protect my section and that the sectional was going to start soon so I didn’t have the time for this. I walk away leaving him trying to keep talking to me and soon enough POS gets out of the car and follows me to the field giving me a smug smile on her unmasked face before she puts it on when she sees the other section leader stroll up. 

Lemme paint the picture for you: this guy (a 6′something burly guy in his 50′s that I know has like two felonies under his belt) pulls up next to me (a 5′2 17 year old ball of anxiety that drives a small yellow car) and starts to borderline yell at me. Traumatizing. I was shaking for the rest of the sectional and I spent the rest of the season looking over my shoulder looking for the glint of a knife swingin at me

Now I’m pretty sure she’s suspended bc she was caught with a knife on school property and she wore a confederate t-shirt to school, but I would be lying if I said I don’t still look over my shoulder or speed up when I drive past her house lmao

[yyxgin]

a lot has happened at work recently!! but who cares bleh. libra season!!! which means bday celebrations!! except i’m at work BOO 👎 and my two assistant managers have officially left (i’m helping them move on wednesday) and they were probably the only two who knew when my bday was apart from my supervisor but he’s gone to a different branch to train to be an assistant manager before coming back so i’m super bummed bc now i have to deal w al the new staff by myself 😭

also one of the ladies in kp read my palms?? and she told me i spend too much money impulsively which isn’t false… but i have to spend money impulsively or if spend none at all (which is good for saving ig) but i’d also be doing nothing other than working and that would make me sad lol. she also told me bc i’m a libra this month i’ll be unlucky with love but lucky with money so 🥺🙏🙏 i was having a relatively bad day that day so she was cheering me up n all of that.

did i tell you when my txt and skz albums came, they also came like a week or two later (again) bc they’d accidentally doubled up my order? it was like heaven with skz bc changbin baby is my ult n he was in some of the pulls for the second album 🥵🥵 the limited edition of no easy confuses me bc it’s not like the last one of theirs i bought and typically groups stick to a style when they design albums like mamamoo are all in these cute magnetic flip box thingies and nct’s are all little books type things as well as txt’s but skz switched it up and there’s a fair bit of loose stuff? but it’s okay bc i have two posters n all of the mini flip card things for the members and some bangchan (i’m gifted in pulling chan).

im also hopefully getting a car?? the barman hasn’t gone to prison yet bc the court keep moving his sentencing date(s?) so when i discussed this w my mum she said they’ll probably throw it out and relief filled me!! but ik i shouldn’t be so hopeful but at the same time it’s like why would you mess someone around so much? anyway i’ll move on, i wanted to drop him home in my car bc he deserves a lift everyday what a sweetheart❣️ my co-worker facetimed me today as it was my day off and i said hi to everyone it was so heartwarming to see everyone missing me but also not bc my manager overworks me and he knows that after this weekend 💉🩸

im jumping about with my points and things i want to say but i’m horrible at internet friends so this is okay for me as recently i’ve just not had energy for any friends which is awful of me but i’m still trying to find the balance between work and social. also everyone’s gone to uni and i’m just chilling. i like my life.

i want to redecorate my room. i don’t like the vibe other than when people compliment my kpop wall bc it’s a bunch of my art and then other peoples art and i thoroughly enjoy decorating w pictures and stickers and stuff but it’s literally just a door and it’s depresses me that my happiness is reduced to the back of a singular door now. i want to redo the vibe in my room and make it more me. i’ve never felt comfortable until recently and even now i’m going back to feeling uncomfy now that i know i want it a certain way and to give a certain vibe. idk, maybe it’s bc i watched sex education and seeing lily’s room in the most recent season (i won’t say much more in case you are watching/haven’t seen it yet) really made me realise i want to love myself and love the space i create for myself more. do you enjoy your space you’ve created for yourself? i always feel like peoples rooms say a lot about them as a person but how they see their room in their own eyes always says more.

i want to ask loads of questions and am awful at asking them so please just tell me everything i missed or should be updated on!! ily, always

~ 🌻

LIBRA SEASON !!! omg did i ask you when's your bday ?? i hope i didn't miss it. >:( happy birthday !!!! you deserve so much love. also, i'm sorry about your managers leaving. dealing with new staff is hella stressful and i hope you don't have to have too much responsibility and nerves <3

ooh palm readings are hella interesting. i've never had one but i think i'd like to try. spending money impulsively isn't a bad thing, if it's not an irresponsible spending. and if it is,, well who cares. yolo. i feel you on that tho, bc even tho i am really stingy w money, sometimes i just buy stuff i don't need and act on impulse.

OMG THAT IS A DREAM ?? getting free albums ?? (at least i hope they were free lmao). i like it when groups stick to one type of packaging although i must say i dont like the book thingies nct uses bc there is no magnetic part so it falls apart on my shelf and i hate that. i acutally like the sleeve packaging txt's albums have ?? everyone seems to bitch abt it on tiktok but i find it the most conveniet. also i'm glad changbin came home to you <3

YAAAY TO THE CAR !! AND ALSO TO YOUR COWORKER. i am praying he won't have to go, then, i am really hopeful. he is a sweet soul and doesn't deserve that. pleeease don't put up with your boss overworking you. take care of yourself :(

YOURE NOT HORRIBLE AT INTERNET FRIENDS we are besties. okay ??? and its totally okay to have no energy for friends as well, bc as you can see, i am struggling as well recently. it took me so long to reply to this ask and i feel so bad but it is what it is :// social battery has been low and i am busy with studying and work and trying to put my shit together. i am rooting for you !! <3

go for the decorating !! i actually haven't watched sex education and am not planning on watching so i dont really understand what you mean, but i hope you get to create a space for yourself when you feel free and comfortable. i share a room with my brother so its kind of difficult to decorate it how i want it, but i honestly like sharing a room tbh. he's not here half the time anyway so it's good to see him at least when we go to sleep lmao. but i have a bunch of stuff in my corner that are kpop and my side is full of plants, so i feel good surrounded by them hihi. i like it here.

i don't have many updates. i am actually living a very boring life, so i have nothing to share. preparing for graduation exams has been making me anxious and also depressed with everything that's been going on lately, but it's okay. i'll pull myself together <3 i love you a lot, take care !! i missed you

[normal-thoughts-official]

Headcannon - For father's day, Raphael always gets Magnus some sort of small present and a card. The first time he did Magnus nearly cried.

Magnus when father's day rolls around:

doiajsaiuhadiusad really tho i mean we know that magnus has Many Downworlder Children but Raph is like. That’s His Son. like they lived together (all my hcs are the truth) and shit so he actually comes to like celebrate it with Magnus and it’s. sweet. especially since he doesn’t really get to celebrate most of family holidays (like Mother’s Day and such) and neither does Magnus

the first time was sweet because Raphael was kind of impulsively like “so can I come to yours on Father’s Day?” and then he’s super nervous like shit what the fuck??? does Magnus even think of him this way? is this weird? it’s definitely weird. oh fuck. does he even celebrate Father’s Day? i mean it was probably not a thing by the time he was born. fuck. fuck. *spirals into oblivion*

and Magnus looks up to him with a clear lump in his throat and those very hopeful but still somehow scared eyes of his and says “you... you want to?” and Raphael is like. “i mean of course. unless you think that’s weird or-” and Magnus is like “no. I’d. Love for you to come by on Father’s Day.” so Raphael does

and it’s weirdly emotional for the both of them in the sweetest way. raphael makes magnus a meal (he can’t eat by that time yet, so it’s bittersweet, but he still puts his all into it because Magnus deserves it, I’m thinking soto ayam again because idk it sounds like something Magnus would love and Raphael would want to honor his heritage too. and Magnus is thinking the same so he has Raphael’s favorite songs playing and it’s so sweet okay) and he also brings him a gift (for some reason i’m thinking that Raphael is the one who got him his M/B rings, because he’s like. I know that you when you picked this name you saw yourself in a terrible light and i want you to know that i love who you are and you should be proud of yourself. also they’re big and i know you love metal textures and heavy jewelry so i thought you’d like wearing them - cuz u know, sensorial stuff. and then raphael also gives him something of the santiagos that he has somehow, so magnus will remember that he’ll always be raphael’s family, and magnus hugs him and cries like, so much. they both do, really) 

and magnus also gets him something and raphael is outraged like. “it’s father’s day, not kid’s day” and magnus is like “it’s family day” and he gives him a nice vest that’s enchanted so raphael is always warm because he knows raphael hates the cold and the dumort isn’t exactly cozy. and raphael tears up 

(later he’s kind of like. i can’t believe you outdid my gift on your own day. and magnus is like, holding the rings, rolling them in his hands softly, and says “i don’t know what you’re talking about” because it really does mean so much to him, and raphael smiles and holds his hand and daisdaidhsaiudua)

anyway from them on it becomes a thing that on father’s day raphael will always come by and make magnus food, and they probably cuddle all afternoon because they both are touch starved bastards with hyposensitivity to pressure, and they talk and listen to music or watch something shitty they can both roast to death and it’s fun and sweet

a few decades later, however, once raphael is back from magnus’ he opens the dumort door (which is not cold anymore, it’s warm, because ever since he became clan leader he made the place cozy and comfortable and welcoming, and it feels so much like home) and his clan greets him with a “surprise!” and they have this huge meal (because at this point madzie has already made raphael the potion that allows vampires to eat, so they can all eat) and raphael is struck speechless and they’re like “what? after everything you’ve done for us, you think we wouldn’t honor you on father’s day?” and someone jokes that they should do it on mother’s day because raphael is such a mama hen and is always on their ass. and it’s not really that raphael is a father figure per se but he’s the foundation on which the clan family was built. he worked hard to make the dumort a nice, welcoming place, and to make sure all the vampires felt listened to and at home, and that everyone got along as much as possible. not to mention he’s always kept them safe and cared for them, and they want to do something to represent that. and raphael is super emotional. he doesn’t want them to see but they all see right through him

and from then on father’s day becomes more and more convoluted, what with all of the people they’ve kept under their wings and alec being in the picture and madzie wanting to come see her uncles and “big bro” after she and cat have a nice family celebration together. and it’s so lively and real and their hearts are so full. but at the end of the day it’s still the both of them in the sofa, cuddling together with a weighted blanket over them and talking shit about some terrible show, and it’s. really, really great

[szivtalan]

8, 9, 16, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 34, 35, 36, 40, 41, 42, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 50, 53, 55, 57, 58, 59, 62, 64, 65, 70 (aside from Kagami 😂), 71, 72, 79, 82, 86, 87, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99 for the "Asks, why not" thing please? (Omg that's soo much, I'm sorry I got carried away ^^')

8) Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself)

Average height, bordering on short. Broad shoulders, thick arms and thighs, square face, slightly projecting ears (one pierced, one with a stretched lobe), bushy arched brows, thick square glasses, faded dark red hair, dark brown eyes, butt chin. I look pale and perpetually sleep deprived.

9) What do you/did you study?

I was in a teacher’s training program for English and Hungarian language and literature, and I’m planning to go back to school to study sociology!

16) What do you look for in a SO?

Consciously: understanding, fun, sweet, kind and accepting. Unconsciously: somewhat broken and in dire need of emotional help which I’m desperate to provide lmao.

19) Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?

Eh, u know, it depends? I don’t think I’m fit for a serious relationship right now, so I’d prefer casual stuff atm, but on the long run I do want a partner to share my life with.

20) What are your deal breakers?

Really obnoxious people, ignorance and bigotry I guess. And I’m not keen on someone pushing or disrespecting my boundaries, either.

21) How was your day?

It was good!! My bro, his girlfriend and my friend tagged along to get our (me and my soon-to-be sis-in-law’s) ears pierced, and then my friend and I got a loot of food. I didn’t exactly feel good enough abt myself to be comfortable outside, but I got a lot of random kindness and that was Nice.

22) Favourite food & drink

Food: teriyaki chicken and seafood pasta, drink: ginger ale and iced coffee

23) What position do you sleep in?

I sleep half-curled up on my side, but I need to toss and turn a little until I find The Best Position.

25) Your fears

The dark, needles, rabbits (I don’t even know, dude), the fact that I’ll die without having made an impact on the world, being spoken about behind my back, being a bad influence on my friends.

28) Any pets?

Not right now! I used to have two rottweilers around the house growing up, but they both passed away sadly.

29) What are your hobbies?

Writing, sketching, basketball, getting on people’s nerves, researching typology, watchin movies idk?

31) What was your last awkward situation?

Asjhdh the ticket control guy told me to “Have a safe trip” and I said “You too!”. This rarely happens to me tho

32) What is your last regret?

Not holding my friend’s hand on public transport. It was…right…there….and she already told me she’s more than comfortable with physical touch! I’m a fool! Everyone thinks I hate touching but I don’t! I’m just shy!

34) Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.)

Ehh. Kind of? As for believing, I believe more in ghosts, but I do see some patterns in different signs. I just try not to let it affect the way I see/interact with a person, because no one deserves to be prejudiced for whatever reason, especially not their date of birth. Tarot is just fun, and the cards r cool

35) Have any quirks?

I bite the skin on my fingers, scratch my acne, make my knees jump… most of it is just regular anxiety stuff tho so idk?? I do think I’m quirky, but there’s just too much weird stuff to list ‘em.

36) Your pet peeves

Cig/booze stink on a person, customers being rude, bigotry, interrupting other people… There’s quite some things that annoy me asjdgd

40) Last 5 things from your search history

Boku No Hero Academia, Hawks, duck emoji, Grumman fma, How To Train Your Dragon

41) What’s your device backgrounds?

My phone lockscreen rn is a beautiful KagaKuro fanart of them standing in the rain in yukatas, Kagami looming over Kuroko and shielding him from the rain and Kuroko reaching up to stroke his face; my phone background is an art of they/them pronouns tattooed on someone’s knuckles, their posture unsure; my laptop background is a screenshot from the movie Déva, of blue skies and a street lamp.

42) What do you daydream about?

…cu..cuddling,,my…crush……..

44) What's your religion/Your thought about religion

Short version: barf

Long version: I was raised catholic (even tho I was never baptized), and attended catholic school for 8 years which gave me a really warped idea of Christianity, Which made me a cynic & an agnostic or atheist by proxy. I harshly criticize the catholic church and faith but sometimes… when I do feel hopeless I get down on my knees and pray, so I guess if I let myself find my own faith I’d be a believer. But right now, I’m good just existing in my nihilistic bubble

45) Your personality type

Needy imeanwhat. In a typological sense, I’m an INFP in Myers-Briggs, 4 core 5 wing in Enneagram, melancholic or sanguine in the temperaments, et cetera. Basically I’m a sad daydreamer with unresolved issues and a need to do Art

47) Are you happy with your current life?

Nah bro. I like my friends and my workplace but I’d like to move out of home ASAP. I’d also… like to get therapy before I go and put myself out there.

48) Some things you've tried in your life

Playing the guitar, hostess work, weed, cigarettes, being blackout drunk, smoking from a hookah, cooking, football, handball, basketball, volleyball, cycling, sailing, driving, hitchhiking long distances, folk dancing, one-night stands, long-distance relationships, helping people in need…

50) Favourite colour to wear?

Olive green, midnight/navy blue, white, grey and black.

53) If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?

I’d… like to know how it would feel if I had a flat chest and a penis? I also want bigger Guns, and Abs, some more tattoos and maybe an eyebrow piercing.

55) Do you get complimented often?

I think so? I usually brush off compliments uhhh but yeah maybe! Maybe idk

58) Songs you're currently obsessed with?

My friend’s playlist reminded me that ‘Phenomenon’ by Thousand Foot Krutch exists. I’m also really into ‘San Francisco’ by The Mowgli’s atm and ‘Golden Time Lover’ by Sukima Switch!

59) Song you normally wouldn't admit you like.

I mean, it’s not like it’s cringe or anything, I hate cringe culture BUT. I do have Ariana Grande’s ‘Side to Side’ stuck in my head rn

64) Can you sing or play any instruments?

I can sing pretty badly, play a bad tune on my guitar, drum on the edge of my table, so- Nah not really asdh

65) Do you like karaoke?

YES VERY MUCH I live and die for karaoke, last time I did it in front of an audience we sung the Shaman King opening at an anime con with friends, it was Rad

70) Your fictional crush/es

AH NO FUN Kagami’s my number one,,, let’s see then: Aomine, Roy Mustang, Kise, Mikoto Suoh, Hotch & Reid from Criminal Minds, Yagami Light, Jaime Lannister and Brienne from GoT, Rustin Cohle from True Detective, Shizuo Heiwajima from Durarara!!!, why is this list full of men I didn’t think I liked men this much

71) Which fictional character is you?

Eddie Brock from Venom I mean? He’s a whole ass mess.

79) How much time do you spend on the internet?

Yike. More than I’d be proud of.

86) Would you use death note, if you had one?

No way dude. I don’t fuck with that shit, karma would fuck me right back.

87) What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?

I’d eliminate money and power and just make it a huge peaceful hippie community or something idk

90) What would you want to happen to you after your death?

Donate me to a medical school I don’t care. Make use of me! I’m gonna be dead, I won’t have any more feelings left to be hurt or anything asdghdsg

91) If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?

I’ve had a name in mind that I tried out once, but it didn’t really work out for me after all. I’m fine with Vee and Vic rn. Anything that isn’t my given name. I do want to change my surname to my mother’s, but if I do that I also want to give myself a different first name, and since That isn’t figured out yet, I’m just?? Call me whatever dude

94) Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

Ugh, I’m bad at these. 1) I have plenty of moles. 2) My eyesight is pretty good. 3) I’ve broken some bones before.

95) Cold or hot?

Cold in beverage, hot in weather.

96) Be a hero or be a villain?

Being a villain is way too much fun, but I have too strong of a conscience to pull that off, so… hero, I guess.

97) Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?

Asjhdf singing is funnier and more annoying, since I Cannot Sing

98) Shapeshifting or controlling time?

Dude I’m non-binary. Shapeshifting for Sure

99) Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?

Aight I’ll give in – I agree to immortality Just This Once.

[from-a-reckless-writer]

Okay so I wrote a thing. Well. Actually I got a writing prompt and thought hey, why not? And SO JUST A HEADS-UP THO, THIS ISN'T SIX RELATED LIKE ALL OF MY OTHER POSTS THIS IS JUST ME WRITING A SHORT STORY AND SEEING HOW IT GOES. SO YEAH. btw, @timetoriseabove thanks for the push.

HERE GOES NOTHING...

Who? Who could I call?

I looked at the time, 2 fucking o’clock in the morning. What a great time to deal with this kind of bullshit. So right, who could I call? I can’t call Dad, because if I call Dad I’m pretty sure that in less than 30 minutes the whole family would know what kind of shit I landed myself in again. No, actually not just my family but our entire family tree including that one cousin I hate. I also can’t call Joel, if I call Joel and then he would tell Dad and again, we can’t let Dad know. Oh I know! I could call Aunt Hazel, after all she’s my favorite aunt for a reason.

We can’t call Aunt Hazel, remember that incident last Sunday, the one where you played your I’m-Your-Favorite-Niece-So-Please-Help-Me Card?

Fuck, right I forgot about that, and yeah Aunt Hazel has done me way too many favors, more than I can count. How about Cathy though? I could call Cathy right? No, no, I can’t call Cathy because Cathy’s got a flight tomorrow and that flight was the sole reason why we went celebrating and what inevitably landed me here. So yes, call Cathy and tell her it’s her fault.

You do know it’s not her fault right? How about you call Ben?

Right, Ben have I mentioned Ben? See, Ben was actually the first choice I had in mind, before remembering that yeah, I never really did choose Ben first. Ben. Ben, who is the perfect person to call right now because Ben wouldn’t call my dad and tell my whole family. Ben, who would know what information he has to write down in the forms because he goddamn knows everything about me. Ben, who wouldn’t mind doing me a hundred favors. Ben, who I haven’t talked to in 2 months. My Ben-“So uhm, did you finally reach your emergency person?” my train of thought was cut down when the nurse cleared her throat and spoke to me, the police officer behind her also waiting for my response. God, who knows how long I’ve been here, surrounded by white tiles, blue curtains and the smell of hospitals that makes you sad. “Uh yeah, yeah I know who to call, he’ll be here in a minute.” The nurse nods and they both leave while I try to process the words I had just said. I don’t know who to call, fuck! I can’t believe this, I’m hiding again, hiding the pain. The shock actually came first before the pain, the pain that slowly seeped in and then the fear, because-God, that is way too much blood.

I take a deep breath, grab my phone and finally dialed a number

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“Hello?” I groggily answer, I didn’t look at the caller I.D because who the fuck calls at, I steal a glance at the clock on my nightstand-at 2 fucking 15 a.m-what the hell?

“Ben-“ one word, just one syllable really and I instantly know who was calling, Grace. Just like that, all traces of my sleepiness was gone. My mind instantly counted how long it has been since I last spoke to her. Two months, five days and-yeah it was probably a bad idea, but this was Grace. Grace! Godsake it only took one second for her to mess up his life again.

“Hi-uh-you there? Uh I’m sorry to call you I know it’s the middle of the night and-“ she mumbles, “Grace what is it?” I cut her off. “I uhm-I’m in the hospital.” I freeze “What? What hospital?” I’m fully awake now, immediately dressing up and instantly grabbing my green jacket in a hurry. I quickly get my keys, lock the door and by the time Grace has told me the full directions to the hospital, I was already starting up my car.

Just like that, just one word from Grace and all my attention is back on her. Everything is revolving around her again.

What do you mean again? “Again” is a word that implies you stopped. But you never really did stop did you?

“Hey, I’m really really sorry to bother you, promise it won’t take long. I just need someone to assist with the med forms and you can go quickly-“ Grace said through the phone, she was rambling, apologizing but there was something different in her voice. Hesitation maybe? “I promise it’s going to be quick and you don’t have to worry at all.”

I don’t know who you’re trying to convince, me or you.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“Hello,” he answered groggily. God Ben, do you always have to answer this quick? You didn’t even give me time to breathe.

It only took a couple of words from me and suddenly I can hear rustling from the other end. I can picture him, immediately grabbing his green jacket. His green jacket that I’ve worn way too many times, hung inside his room, his room that I’ve also been to, way too many times.

I hear the jangle of his keys and just like that my heart is beating even faster now. What will I say to him? I am so not ready for this. Hey thanks for saving my ass yet again? Thanks for doing this even if you shouldn’t really be doing this?

“Hey Grace you still there?” he asked, “Yeah, yeah I’m still here.”

He asked, and I can hear the fear in his voice. You know Ben, I can feel it too the fear, and I keep fearing that my answer to your question will always be “I’m here.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________

When I got out of the car, I went straight to the Emergency Room. There was a nurse near your bed and a police officer and the driver of the car that hit you. He looked young, like really young. He looked like he would shit his pants if I told his Dad that his car hit somebody.

When the officer saw me then the nurse and then you. They started to talking to me and handed me papers but it was hard to take my eyes off of you. There was a bandage wrapped around your entire left leg. A few bruises on your arm and a small cut under your eye. You looked bad. So bad that I now realize why you called me first. Yeah, because I know that you don’t want your family to know. I know so many things about you, but right now I don’t know what to say to you.

Because what the fuck do you say in a situation like this?

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Step.

Dizzy.

Step.

Head-spinning.

Step-

Flashing lights-

Whoosh! BANG!

Oh, shit.

Pain-

Pain-

Black.

“Here, coffee.” You gave me the cup, it tasted bland. Oh god, don’t even try to complain that it doesn’t taste like coffee. I know that you got the coffee from the vending machine down the hall. I don’t know what to say, because what to say in a situation like this? You can’t joke lightly, you can’t hug him, you can’t touch him. I can’t do anything right.

“Thank you-“ I started, “Pfft-it’s just coffee you don’t have to thank me.” you answer, you’re wearing the green jacket.

“No-I mean for coming and helping me and everything.” The coffee was hot that was why my hands were sweating. The coffee, not because he’s near me again and not because he’s running his fingers through his hair. It is also not because of the fact that you’re trying to avoid my eyes.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

There are 120 tiles inside this room.

Yeah because counting tiles is more interesting than her? Very convincing Ben.

“Why were you out so late? Why didn’t you just sleep at Cath’s?”

“Peter was there, it was their last night before Cath flies out tomorrow. I wanted them to-“

“Yeah, of course that’s it. Of course you want them to have that moment.” You sigh and shake your head.

“ You never drink.”

“What? Am I not allowed to drink all of a sudden?”

“You’re not allowed, if it’s just going to land you in situations like this! And I end up the one to pick it all over again, clean the mess!”

Whoa, and I thought breaking my left leg was painful enough, I guess it’s not. I stay quiet at your little outburst, I can hear you breathing heavily, I can hear you breaking.

“Then you shouldn’t have come.” I finally say.

“Then you shouldn’t have answered the phone in the first place.” I finish.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“I can’t.” I answer her.

I can’t because if I don’t come then, Grace that means it’s over.

“You didn’t really mean it like that, do you?”

“Mean what?” I ask playing innocent.

“It’s a quarter past 3.” There you go again, changing the subject, running, hiding. That’s what you like, that’s what you were good at. Asking me vague questions and giving me vague answers. Well, now it’s my turn to give you vague answers, it’s my turn to ask you vague questions.

“Grace what’s gonna be the ending?” I ask.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“The sun will rise.”

I answer, I never really liked giving straightforward answers. I prefer the safety of mysteries and vagueness. But of course you already know that. You know everything. That’s why you asked me that question.

So, how will this end? I never liked these kind of situations, because they require the truth.

I never did like truths. But I guess a part of me doesn’t want to answer because maybe, I don’t want it to end. Not yet anyway. What I said was true though, the sun will rise and a new dawn will break. I wonder where will we find ourselves then?

SO YEAH IF U REACHED THIS PART THANK YOU FOR READING. LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS, OR IF I SHOULD STOP, IF U WANT TO GIVE ME A PROMPT. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU GUYS.

Love from a reckless writer. 😘

[art-by-rozzai]

had a bad day so more band au headcannons

anyone who wants to write a fic for this is absolutely allowed if they tag me, i’m not gonna make any full length ones but i might post some one shots eventually

anyway i had a really shitty day so here’s me self projecting and creating more band headcannons

check out the first here~

check out the second here~

tag list~

@athenashipsthings @thelesbianspoon @flowersheep @insert--self--hatred @nafsbluebery @sunflowerss0 @nerdiegurlie @stars-and-rose

okays lets do this✨

so last when we left the boys, it’s the day before they release their album “death of a bachelor”

to celebrate, roman suggests they get dinner out and maybe go see a movie??

logan is suprisingly the first to agree, saying that if he doesn’t get to watch the “scary stories to tell in the dark” movie soon he will explode. plus there’s no food in the fridge

virgil is also down to go see the movie, but is more reluctant to get dinner. he hates formal things, so to make him feel more comfortable roman offers they go to the local diner that he knows has virgil’s favorite chicken parm dish and virgil can’t say no to that

patton doesn’t want to see the movie at first-he really doesn’t like scary movies. but he wants dinner with his friends and he might be able to latch onto logan during the scary parts so he goes with it

so patton offers go help virgil with his hair and they end up getting ready together! they talk about everything they can think of as patton does hair and virgil does makeup and they both do each other’s nails and then they’re ready to go out whooooppp

meanwhile roman collapsed on logan’s bed an hour ago and began complaining about how he needed to impress virgil to get him to fall in love with him and has been talking ever since

logan doesn’t mind tho, roman helps him pick out a nice outfit and gives tips on how to woo patt

even though it’s not a date

yet

anyways they get to the diner and they all have an incredible time! by the end of the meal they’re in tears laughing at each other, from roman’s hysterical stories to virgil’s banter to logan’s fun facts and spilt tea to patton’s enthusiastic impressions

they love each over like family :)

and the movie is top notch. virgil is in love with it, him and logan spend the whole time guessing what’s going to happen while roman hides behind virgil and patton shoves his face full of popcorn and squish himself into logan’s arm

and yes virgil can’t stop laughing and logan’s immediate tensing up and blushing

after the movie they just don’t want to go to bed quite yet, so the friends head to the park and enjoy lying in the grass, talking and letting logan point out the stars while roman makes up stories of the aliens and space princesses that protect the galaxy

virgil makes everyone his famous hot chocolate and they stay up until midnight to release their songs

and then the clock strikes 12 and death of a bachelor is available to download

the boys decide that staying up and watching the comments flood in is a terrible idea and instead they put on some disney films and fall asleep on the couch

it’s nice

they wake up to millions of notifications

everyone is freaking the fuck out

this album ??? is beautiful ???

all of the fans are in love but also have a lot of questions-so the fab four start doing monthly live-streams to just chat and answer questions and catch up with their fans

“are y’all single?”

um

well yes

but uh

this question is not goOD ROMAN WHAT THE FU-

anyway virgil comes to patton one day, slams the door, puts his face in a pillow and screams “PATT IM SO GAY HELP”

because roman called his hair pretty this morning and yes it’s stupid and it happens all the time but this time was different

don’t worry tho they won’t admit their feelings to one and other for another three months

death of a bachelor does really well-all of the songs end up going either gold or platinum

their song “victorious” is played on the radio all of the time

so november rolls around and the friends decide it’s time to go on tour! starting with just north america, they post a video on the youtube channel that gives all the locations and dates

it’s to start in april:

virgil is extremely nervous. being on the road for so long and preforming live in front of thousands of people and will anyone even show up and-

logan is slightly nervous but honestly he really enjoys preforming-once he ties the tie around his head like a bandanna he almost transforms into the punk rock bassist he is known by the fans to be

patton!!! is!!! bouncy!!!!!!!! he wants to meet all these people!!!! and he can’t wait to give back to all of them by preforming and meet and greets and social interaction makes him really happy!!

roman is so excited-preforming is his thing. when he’s on a stage, he’s in his element! he can’t wait to show off and travel and be with his friends for even longer :)

but they can’t go on tour with their boring old instruments sooooo

roman and patton team up to paint and decorate all of the instruments

virgil’s piano matches his jacket, lots of purple and swirls and patton paints the classic nightmare before christmas scene on the front (u know, this one but stationary)

and they decorate the microphone stand purple and silver and black

logan gets a dope space themed bass-the outside is dark blue and the inside is painted like a galaxy, with a plain silver pick

roman paints his gutair with a castle and sunset in the back, with a bright red pick to play

patton’s drums have clouds on them nowww like a sunny day with blue puffy clouds

they’re ready to go! but it’s still only december so u kNoW whAt ThaT mEaNs

CHRISTMAS!!!!!

since none of the squad are jewish, (although technically patton is half jew since his mom is, but he just really loves christmas and always celebrated that growing up so)

they decide to celebrate at their house

they invite all of their close family to the apartment and have a lovely dinner

and yeah virgil doesn’t invite anyone cuz he was adopted by a shitty family who he doesn’t talk to anymore, bcuz all they did was try and get money out of him

and yeah he has a panic attack when all of his best friends are excitedly talking about their family coming over

and y e a h roman helps him calm down and swears that he will always b there to protect virgil bcuz he’s never met anyone quite like him and it’s not easy to explain but he just wants virgil to know he’s safe with roman

and yeah virgil wishes he could stop falling for roman but the ground keeps disappearing beneath him

so time skip a bit closer to christmas and logan bursts into romans room with an idea

“i can rap”

“we know”

“you can rap”

“kind of but okay”

“christmas rap song for fun”

“yeS”

so they write “gonna kill santa claus” (look it up) and decide to post it on the youtube channel on christmas eve

they film a music video for it where they jokingly set up different traps for santa like poison cookies and fire cracker chimneys and more

virgil sings the chorus, logan raps the rap parts, roman does the bridge, and patton lays down a pretty sick beat

it comes out really nice and honestly really fucking funny

so after a delightful family dinner with everyone over, the friends release that video and the internet fucking dies it’s so funny and logan can rap (??????) and ohmygod all of them are so cute what the fuck

anyway back to christmas dinner

roman has like 6 little sisters, and his mom and dad and papa and nana over

(he’s latino, his mom and dad are both from the dominican republic)

patton invites his mom and dad and little brothers, thomas and dee

and logan invites his two moms

everyone comes over for lunch and gets along reallyyyyyy well

logan’s got the punk mom and soft mom dynamic whereas, patton’s family is all super kind and like homey and boisterous and romans family is wild and crazy and funny and they all instantly click

presents are passed around, lots of money and books and movies and stickers and jewelry

really sweet stuff

and then everyone goes home and the friends have their own little gift exchange

virgil got logan the stephen king book “insomnia” and a (sort of) joke blanket with benedict cumberbatch’s face on it that he can use when he goes stargazing at night

logan gets virgil some noise cancelling headphones and a framed picture of a wedding with virgil’s face cropped on one and gerard ways face on the other

they both can’t stop laughing at the fact they attacked each other’s celeb crush

virgil gets patton a cute little cat stuffed animal that when u push the hand it’s a recording of all of them saying “we love you!!!” and a really sweet card

patton gets virgil a eyore necklace that was super expensive but matches patton’s winnie the pooh one and a itunes card for him to buy more music (and yes a really sweet card)

virgil gets roman two tickets to see mean girls on broadway and a framed picture of the two of them

yeah roman tears up a bit fuck u

roman gets virgil a collage of him and roman and a handmade hoodie that virgil is never going to take off oh and also meet and greet passes to see dan and phil at their interactive introverts tour

and maybe virge gets a little teary too

roman gets patton a recipie book and an apron that says “you BAKE my day”

patton gets roman a new ukelele and a printed out pamphlete of theatre song chords that he can play

roman gets logan the sherlock script and an empty box just to fuck with him

logan gets roman the entire grimm fairytale series and tapes a note to the front that says “bcuz u are an illiterate fool😜”

patton gets logan a phone case with the stars that were out on the day they met, hand painted framed picture of him and logan, and comic con tickets for this spring

logan gets patton tickets to the art museum downtown, a gift card to the coffee shop next to it, and two gold hoop earrings with a note that says “next week, friday at 7. it’s a date ;)”

so christmas is pretty good for all :))))))

and that’s the end of this one i’ll make a part four soon lmao

[garbagequeer]

what are your favorite cshr songs?

i change my mind a lot and can’t make decisions so im just gonna go album by album picking my favorites because there’s A LOT of great songs (also these are in no particular order cause i really am a gemini who can’t make a simple choice). when im done with this i’ll bold the ones i guess are my overall favorites but i have too much room in my heart and brain and i love all of them and i can’t not mention all the great songs that i love. Also my overall favorites change all the time hence the full long ass list. again i AM a gemini

teens of denial:

drunk drivers obviously (and drunk drives single version with the modified verse from plane crash blues like. if you cant find your friends you can leave without them !! so much)

destroyed by hippie powers (which holds a special place in my heart cause i remember listening to it 24/7 and going to the bar with my friends during second term finals my first year of college instead of studying and then the year after that going to see csh also during second term finals and them playing it like. full circle baby)

not what i needed. i feel so empty trying to explain this!

1937 state park

unforgiving girl (also holds a special place in my heart cause im pretty sure it’s the song that got me into them after being like hey i should check out that car seat headrest band since like 2013 but never getting around to it)

the ballad of the costa concordia like. i love to die thank you

drugs with friends (also it feels 5 times more special to me since i saw them play it)

fill in the blank

literally i feel bad for not just putting every song from this album like i love them all they punch me in the face every time but. gotta move along.

how to leave town:

BEAST MONSTER THING (LOVE ISN’T LOVE ENOUGH) LIKE. WHAT? WHAT?? !!!!

i want you to know that im awake / i hope that you’re asleep. you know that quote from like. an article about greta gerwig and lady bird that’s like (wait i googled it):Every situation is pretext for a confrontation: underdone eggs, a pile of rumpled clothes, a hand reaching too quickly for the radio. The question on the surface might be ‘What did you do?’ but the feeling underneath is ‘Who are you and why don’t you know how to love me?’that’s this song

is this dust really from the titanic? mainly cause i think it’s underrated and very endearing like. car seat headrest: more guitar shit

hey space cadet. obviously like

wasn’t going to put more songs cause i think i need to relax but. the ending of dramamine deserves to be listed i mean i can’t hear a thing now i guess i belong to me now but when night fell on montana i found a rest stop completely deserted but i still felt the eyes upon me so i drove away. it BE like that

you know what? fuck it. america and kimochi warui are also favorites. they’re all so good im sorry i CANT do this

nervous young man:

first of all: i wanna sweat. it’s like. you CAN have the euphoric emotion of bodys outside of the fantasy. effervescent amazing uplifting etc etc

burning man. i will go crazy istg like he’s like im defined by the fact that you’re there and we’re different people… i wanna burn your picture! i mean…… yeah

plane crash blues i mean shut up with all these bad vibes all this yelling just shut up shut up shut up! like. to himself.. we get it. and if your luggage is lost you can leave without it and if you run out of drugs you can sleep without them and if you wanna go home you can call a taxi and if you don’t wanna talk you can sit in the backseat. much to think about

death at the movies. sometimes you’re a little depressed and you just. watch movies and it’s weird

boxing day. hand will toledo a womanhood card right now for this like yeah! i feel so haunted and no one seems to notice and no one seems to care!!!! and it doesn’t really matter I’ll just ajlhfsdg!!!. ALSO literally i did something bad im not allowed to go outside anymore i can only be awake at night for the next year of my life. been there done that and all. ALSO i have worms in mouse traps baby cracks me up every time

the gun song. there’s a lot going on there

afterglow and jerks cause i love to have fun too

monomania:

misheard lyrics and i don’t think it gets enough love

times to die and also the teens of style version

overexposed (enjoy). again i love fun

los borrachos (fun fact: i saw the painting it’s named after irl and i was like. sick csh reference museo del prado)

SOULS. !!!!

maud gone both versions. sweetheart please love me too long

sleeping with strangers. i love to have fun

anchorite (love you very much). i get my feelings hurt by someone i love i listen to this song like. YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! call it catharsis

and that’s literally the whole album except for one song. im sorry

twin fantasy (which is two albums but. it’s really just one which is very meta of it/them imo. also unless i specify im talking about both versions):

B O D Y S

famous prophets. both versions make me feel breathless

beach life-in-death OBVIOUSLY

twin fantasy (those boys) and i think both versions really mean so so much together which is true of all of twin fantasy but. particularly here it hits me like. from he has only lyrics now to these are only lyrics now. it’s a lot

my boy (more the 2018 version)

nervous young inhumans (the 2011 version. for the monologue like. he defined twin fantasy. also the fact that galvanistic isn’t a real word he just fucked up and that’s the chorus)

high to death (more the 2018 version but both are great)

honestly sober to death for the don’t worry you and me wont be alone no more which is. so much. ALSO when they play sober to death/powderfinger and ethan does great vocals

cute thing (2018)

my back is killing me baby

no passion. he wants a man who would hate him and who would leave him if he were open and he’d do the same to him. he dreams he watches porn but he cant see it. he understands some ugly ass feelings

father, flesh in rags. it bangs

strangers but the teens of style version

happy news for sadness cause once again he says the ugliest shit (i liked you better when you hated yourself every time i think about love i think about me thinking about you) and it makes me think of that shit about how people will disclose they think they’re bad and they have bad thoughts when they’re going to ask to be loved. also you can never tell the truth but you can tell something that sounds like it

the drum. did i say i love to have fun? i love to have fun (both versions but i think i like the original more at least rn)

stoop kid

something soon (both versions)

starving while living:

it’s only sex

reuse the cells

devil moon

i hate living

literally all other csh shit cause i don’t listen to many songs from the first records :/ and stuff:

i can talk with my eyes shut

the ghost of bob saget. the lyrics to this song are hilarious and relatable somehow

i have to mention i am afraid of literally everything / i scream social / this one time I went to a coffee house because some guy I knew was playing and I just sat there for an hour and didn’t talk to anyone and then I came home and wrote this song / you have to go to college / it’s you you’re the asshole that made this but literally only cause i felt like laughing when i was 18 and finally got around to checking out csh and he was like. i wrote these songs about when i went to college and i was afraid of everything and shit was hard. cause like. same. and i just have a fond memory of going through csh’s entire discography from newest to oldest and ending up awake till almost 7am losing my mind. i feel like this about lots of songs from the first 5 albums but i don’t really listen to them much tho. someday i’ll get around to giving them a chance again

that thing someone made where they put together pain star (if heaven is full of people…) and …then it will be exactly the same as earth

does it feel good (to say goodbye?)

and their cover of hey ya even though it’s not a csh song. im mad no one has posted a proper recording of it because i do love to have fun. also their cover of this must be the place too. and the cover of waves of fear also. they’re all really fun

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Persona 5 Problems: “Goro can’t escape Shido” doesn’t make sense

Might be a pt 1. But before I get into it, what I mean here is “Goro can’t escape Shido” doesn’t makes sense in the context of the characters interactions that we see nor the rules or the world we see in Persona 5.” 

I probably could title this as “Atlus doesn’t know how to utilize it’s Metaverse and everything around it is shit pt 1: In relation to Goro” but that’d be too long, and it gives you more insight on what’s in store. 8U

Also this isn’t to rag on Goro, but the failure of the writing with P5. I mean I hate Goro, partially for his writing partially for how I think he’s a jerk and not in a fun way (cause I do like characters who are jerks but he just doesn’t jive with me)....this for full transparency (esp if you are new). 8U That being said I wont’ tag it as Goro cause I’m not a jerk, I’ll tag it as anti I guess but...........yeah in retrospect after typing this I do kinda take a dump on his writing so anti tag it is. 0u0 

Now why arm I talking about this? Well a new chapter of P5MM came up and.....well this picture appeared:

Now I love Saito, the manga is pretty good, so this is nothing against Saito. My issue is.....I guess the over victimization of Goro esp when it 1) makes no sense and 2) is contradictory.

Now do I think an antagonist that is a victim doesn’t make sense? No. What doesn’t make sense is that P5 doesn’t bother to develop it. P5 throws out the bare minimum of hints all while making NO SENSE how that could work. So fans have to fill in the blanks, and that’s either making him more sympathetic or like me who’s either deciding to start master blasting holes everywhere or is ready to throw this suit case out all together.

I know a lot of fans, and adaptations (such as this) kinda lean towards making Goro more sympathetic. I DON’T BLAME THEM. Like I said, there’s a lot of holes to fill in. And one of them is his relationship with Shido, something VERY crucial to the plot and is.....glossed over with like a few min worth of dialogue. 

Anyway what am I getting at? The issue that annoys me a lot, and that was shown in this picture that hair-triggered me into wanting to write this, was the fact “Goro is being controlled by Shido/Goro has no power and Shido has his claws into him/Goro can’t escape Shido.” As seen in the pictured above, you see Goro has hands to his throat and Shido has an overwhelming presence. Goro is trapped by Shido. And a lot of people will agree with this. It’s understandable because the game half assidly will say things like “you know what happens to people who defy me!” and basically threatening Goro’s life. EXCEPT IT’S ALL BULLSHIT!

“Woah that’s a little extreme what do you mean?” I mean it, Goro is not being controlled by Shido. It’s annoying P5 even INSINUATES that possibility in its writing! It makes no sense for Goro to be the powerless one here, not with the game we were given. And it’s amazing this wasn’t caught in the writers room. This is how that scene should’ve gone down given what we know:

Shido: You know what happens to people who oppose me! Goro: Yeah motherfucker, you send me! What do you want me do? Kill myself? What are you a 14 year old troll on the internet? Do you want me to kill you for threatening me-you scrotum looking asshole? 

Just freaking think about it, Shido or his confidants want a breakdown? Send Goro. They want a shutdown or to possibly kill someone? Send Goro. What the fudge is Shido doing threatening the guy who does his dirty work? Is he gonna kill him himself? No. Shido is a gd moron.

“But what about the cleaner guy?” Great question! And here’s my answer! What about him? No seriously what could anyone but the PT or a god do to Goro? Nothing. 

“But how is that nothing?!” Easy, Goro can take him out, breakdown or shutdown, before he could hurt Goro. If Shido sic’d anyone on Goro, Goro could easily take down Shido, the cleaner, and anyone related to either who know they should take Goro down. All thanks to the Metaverse. And because of that “Goro is trapped by Shido because he’s threatening Goro with death” is such a BS excuse by the game. 

“But what about Shido’s knowledge of the Metaverse? Didn’t he say he could utilize it?” Yeah what about it? The game doesn’t showcase HIM using the Metaverse. He always sends Goro. Which is REALLY FREAKING WEIRD considering he still acts this way, knowing full well Goro is missing. Like how are you going to do it Shido???? 1) you need an app first and foremost, 2) you’ll need a Persona or else you’ll get rekt’d! YOUR LOGIC MAKES NO SENSE! And him knowing about how the Meteverse works is just bs plot device so that we can shoo away how he could believe Goro in the first place let’s be honest.

The only people who use the Metaverse that we don’t know how they got there was the SWAT team that busted the MC, and while not explained it’s possible Goro had something to do with it (either giving someone his phone, since multiple people can go in with just one phone). That’s the only thing that makes sense, since only app users (aka PT+Goro) can got to that world. Tho the cut content seem to indicate even the police don’t know:

And it seems that you only get the app if you have a Persona (minus Goro, MC, and Futaba), cause that’s what Yadly wants:

(btw Ryu’s first pic is pre awakening and the 2nd is post awakening, Futaba’s the only one to get her’s before her Persona with the exception of Goro/MC, but Yadly must’ve thought she was useful or some shit judging by his dialogue early on in the game XP)

But yeah, bringing this up because it’s relevant to know who can and who can’t use the Metaverse. Goro CAN. Shido/Shido’s confidants CANNOT. Goro has the advantage. Shido does not. Goro holds all the cards. Shido’s a gd moron.

As for how Goro could end Shido and his Confidants. If for some reason Goro doesn’t know some of Shido’s confidants JUST BY WORKING WITH THEM, then he can find out through Shido’s Palace. Shido’s Palace literally contains every single one of his CoOps in Cognition form. Which means he probably knows their name, and all Goro really needs is a name cause that’s the hard part. Once he interrogates all the Cognitions and Shadow Shido, he takes Shadow Shido out, go after the real CoOps’ shadow, interrogates them (plus cognitions if they have a palace), and work his way down the latter until know one is after him. He can also squat in the Metaverse if for some reason the heat is really on him, and what’s the worse that could happen? They get pulled in with him? Well that’s bad....FOR THEM! Cause Goro has more powers there, his Persona, he’s stronger and more durable. There’s really no losing here.

So again, one last time. “SHIDO’S THREATS ON GORO’S LIFE MAKES NO SENSE BECAUSE GORO HAS THE POWER TO END SHIDO NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!”

“Well what about his strangle on giving Goro affection?” Ok, ngl....been awhile....but I legit have NO RECOLLECTION of Goro or Shido showing any possible fatherly affection. I feel like I’ve seen more of the fans make this argument then the game. If the game did then it was just....such a throwaway line, and it’s a classic “P5 tell don’t show” move. Coupled with how contradictory the writing is with the way the story is built (like show literally above in how Goro’s life should not be threatened like AT ALL). P5 goes out of its way to show how much Goro HATES Shido and HE CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HIM GO DOWN! That doesn’t seem like someone hesitating cause he wants a hug from daddy. The only reason he waits so long was because he wanted him to be prime minister (or just close to election) and then bring him down from the highest pedestal. THAT’S IT. He has so much more backing that then “I really wanted a daddy figure that gave me pats on the head and told me I was a good boy.” If P5 WAS going for that then they did an even piss poor job than with the issue above. 

And listen, I’m NOT saying that’s not something that couldn’t have happened, I’m saying the writing makes it not really support it or have it make sense. (edit: after typing this I vaguely recalled Shido saying that all Shido had to do was tell Goro he was a good boy and he thought he had him wrapped around his finger-of course this could’ve just been a tumblr post I read that’s how much I remember Shido praising Goro XP, and lkfsd;lakvl;vs this is soooooo batshit all over the place, are you controlling him with fear of death or love???? cause neither are working here bro. Btw at the bottom I go into a route in which this COULD work, but it means dropping the whole fear of death bs argument I made at the very beginning, and even then it’s not Shido actually controlling Goro, it’s him thinking he does.)

And if anyone says “What about destroying his career and social-hood by revealing Goro is a bastard?” And give Goro the platform, the audiences’ full attention for him to be like “YEAH AND GUESS WHO MY DAD IS?! :D” Like, considering Shido figured out Goro was his son, it’d be even more stupid of him to think he could do that when it’d be social suicide for him. As for Goro? That was his plan all along, nothing to lose! Maybe it’s not as high of a fall that he wanted, but he’s still bringing him down!

Now despite this rant, I’m NOT saying Goro isn’t a victim. As a bastard/foster child in Japan, he is a victim for their horrible treatment towards that group. That can’t be argued and in all honesty if it was just that I’d be happy. What I don’t think he is a victim of is Shido, at least beyond the parental abandonment (he is a victim for his dad being horrible and not marrying his mother and stuff like that OBVIOUSLY), by Shido I mean the Conspiracy related stuff. Making it out so that Shido controlled Goro the whole time, that Goro had no agency, that Goro couldn’t oppose him. That’s what I hate. I hate how people make him such a woobie victim when....he very well probably wasn’t. When he made Goro kill, it’d make more sense for Goro to be scared of losing his connection to Shido (aka not being able to monitor him and continue his plan) than be scared Shido might kill him (I mean he had freaking superpowers what the fudge?). But if people looked at it like that then Goro would be more in the wrong no? Choosing to value his goals of revenge over other’s? Maybe he didn’t want to kill but he still CHOSE because his own goals meant more than someone else’s life. But noooooo that would hurt him being a victim right? We need to make it all Shido’s fault! Goro did nothing wrong! Right? So we made it seem like Shido could threaten Goro’s life, make it a kill or be killed situation, even when it made no sense. 

I think Goro could been good, could’ve been complex. A boy who was an abandon bastard son of a politician, mistreated and abused by society until teenhood, suddenly granted the power to get revenge on his father, and going to any lengths, even if it broke his own moral code, because he was that dedicated to bringing down someone? That’s interesting, it’s simple. But “ A boy who was an abandon bastard son of a politician, mistreated and abused by society until teenhood, suddenly granted the power to get revenge on his father, forced to go to any lengths because he ended up in a trap by said father he wants to take down, even if it MIGHT (cause Atlus be chickens and “ambiguous”) be against his own moral code but like he’s being forced by his dad so is it really his fault? That? Fudge that. That’s needlessly confusing, it’s bending itself all out of shape to try to purify this character....and I hate it. 

There’s also the weird contradiction on Shido’s end where it’s like “He’s super paranoid that he kills people, and he doesn’t trust Goro since he plans to kill him, but he trusts him enough for certain things that he doesn’t need to double check on himself even if it poses a threat to him like I dunno checking IF THE GD MC BODY IS DEAD?! >:(” 

I dunno, I just think Goro having the strongest conviction to take down Shido (even killing because he wants to take him down so badly for what he did), with Shido not knowing Goro is his son and actually trusting him (with maybe gaining suspicions later towards the end for plot drama) because he’s so confident he groomed Goro into being his perfect little follower, is just so much more interesting? Goro is still a victim, but he’s not the perfect or “bending the character out of shape” to be perfect victim. He was hurt horribly and chose to deal with it in an....unhealthy way. It also makes the two seem reasonable, Shido thinks he’s in control because he took this starry eyed follower under his wing not because he’s threatening him with violence. Even tho we know Shido isn’t in control, Goro just likes to think he’s in control. 

;tldr: I hate how people (and even Atlus/the game) try to twist Goro into being this perfect victim, all while saying “well he does do bad things but it’s because of Shido!” instead of letting Goro be accountable and have it make logical sense in the game (because the game is a hot garbage mess). 

So yeah this concludes a 5 am rant I started yesterday. 8U 

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

Heya purge! I saw in one of your tags that you’d been consuming fic for around 20 years! That’s like my whole life. Mind telling us how things have changed? I’m sure places like ao3 have changed things a lot. I’m just really curious in fandom and fanfic culture! :3 x

Ao3 is a fucking godsend let me tell you. I won’t make a lot of the same points and stuff that fannish history folks have already documented (how it literally changed, and all the fic we’ve lost that isn’t backed up on floppy disk somewhere… I’d say we’ve lost an equivalent to the digital burning of alexandria honestly) but i can tell you my experience :3

I’ll stick it under a cut cuz i kind of rambled… but i had fun doing so ahahha xD sorry you unleashed the tiger from the cage xD

We all make jokes about ‘being there’ when stuff in fandom history happened, but i’ve been around since all the major purges (LOL my name is so fitting in retrospect ahahha). ff.net’s various purges (and the whole anne rice suing fanfic writers and shit… i never DID agree to their new terms of service haha), geocities sites going down, obviously the more recent shit too, but like I’ve been around even for the creations of certain, older fanfic sites too (one of the oldest slash forums for lord of the rings fics for example… I was there, Gandalf LOLOL!!… and now that i check the date on that i feel old as balls thanks anon xDDD and wow my one fic is still up there PFFFFT) but like, I come from an era where you took your floppy disk and copy/pasted shit from online (once it even loaded) for later reading, and also so you could find it again, because also before ff.net it was hard to find stuff. I’m pre-google ya’ll xD You dont UNDERSTAND the horrors of trying to find anything pre-google. Ya’ll have it so fucking good D:

There was never an abundance of content like there is today, and so you can bet your shit we were grateful as fuck for what was out there, let alone for someone with a decent command of writing and storytelling. Everyone commented on everything (once that was something even implemented… it was email lists before that, and comments sent in that way… i still have my e-mailed comments from fic readers haha), and it was (and still is, in my honest opinion because people entitled as FUCK now) one of the GREATEST faux paus you could do to be reading a fic (esp. multi-chaptered) and not comment. The indignity of not giving back a little (and it still is a little, which is why i get so damn fired up on this subject) for aaaaaaaall the words and story and everything you just read was a serious sin against fanfic writers. I still think its seriously fucked up not to comment (and again, i’ve mentioned that if you dont got the spoons, thats obviously different) but like, the entitlement that runs rampant today did not even exist back then. Yeah, you still had the assholes whose comment would literally consist only of “where’s the rest?” with ZERO actual thanks or input while expecting/thinking they deserve more (and THEN you could remove chapters or stories, cuz god giveth and damn does she taketh away xD), but it wasn’t nearly as prolific as it is today.

The commenting culture today and the backlash against writers wanting comments on their work in return for providing said free content makes me mad enough to wanna curb stomp some people. I’m a bartender, I don’t put up with shit HAHA xD But the entitlement especially now and people who act like writers are being uppity for wanting a small return on their craft are disgusting. Same type of entitlement as art thieves (we all know the type). We didn’t put up with that shit back then. People acting like little bitches wanting free stuff for literally nothing? We’d pull the whole fic. And the community would handle it and it usually turned into a teaching moment about how damn important it is to comment and just how much freaking control writers DO have over their media. We’d pull it from public view unless amends were made (whether that be a private note from someone entitled finally paying their fucking due with proper humility, or reaching a comment count when you had hundreds of people reading but not commenting). Damn i miss taking away fic xD We played hardball back then xD

That was the fucking worst and people were rightfully denied access to fic if hits didn’t coincide with comments. You could publish a chapter and then decide to remove it from view (either for editing, or hostage taking for comments…. which i miss dearly AHAHAH it forced people to learn to be proper commenters and interact with those whose media they were consuming). It’s a big part of what I miss because just like a proper community, people kept each other in check and made sure everyone played nice. You enjoyed a fic? You sure as hell let that writer know. Now though…. the entitlement drives me up the fucking absolute walls and makes me wanna put stuff behind a paywall sometimes…. everyone is lucky im lazy as shit tho AHAHAH and im usually fine after venting xD

But yeah, fanfic culture in general has shifted in a major way to constantly consume and NEVER give back, either in comments, or creating new content yourself to also add to the community (for example as i’m sure we’re all aware, like ALL the people who bitch about certain ships or ‘why ship this when you can ship THIS?’…. Like, instead of bitching that ‘WAH WAH this author doesnt WRITE the ship I LIKE why can’t they write THAT??’ people came up with the radical idea of CREATING the content they wanted to see :| And if weren’t that good of a writer/artist to do so? Well then you SUPPORTED the writers/artists you enjoyed by leaving comments on their shit OR getting a commission… Goddamn i remember when even ‘commissioning’ people was a wild concept… Ya’ll dont know ahahah xD

I do believe that this is a huge source of where Anti-shipper behavior has stemmed from; entitlement gone berserk. And public schools and shit are still largely full of my parents’ generation who were not computer-literate either in function or courtesy, so even as internet social skills are not being taught correctly (or safety; they scared the SHIT out of us back in the day and now everyone has all their shit and pictures online haha) so there’s also a huge disconnect socially which i think has impacted online fandom spaces and what is considered acceptable or not. People also turn into fucking swine when they think they’re anonymous online (and boy do they change their tune fucking quickly when you out them) and i think the whole anonymity thing is also a factor of this whole entitlement issue in fandom spaces; making demands without giving ANYTHING back. Like I’ve mentioned in the past, I don’t put up with that shit, and it’s not a coincidence I was going to work for the CIA after I just left Japan about 3yrs back (thank fuck I didn’t cuz FUUUUCK this administration) cuz people are dumb as shit and basic tracking skills to call someone out on their bullshit has been my bread and butter since i was like 12 haha. You act dishonest and entitled, and it’s gonna come back to you in some shape or form. You’re going to reap what you sow. That was the motto back then and I still believe in it today.

Hell, it has shocked the FUCK out of me the few times i’ve had people tell me ‘omg me and my friend were talking about your latest update!’ and i’m just like O_O????? because also back in the day, ‘fanfiction’ was kind of a taboo word. You never said you were into fanfic in mixed company. You more or less NEVER discussed it publicly (I’m not even talking dirty stuff, just normal, sfw fanfiction) because it primarily existed only online (for me; i’m post-fan magazines but pre-internet fanfic sites LOLOL). Hell, I got my college english professor into fanfiction. She didn’t even know what it was, let alone that something like that existed, and I had to explain it to her my first year of college kind of with a red face xD She was a writing-professor too so like, let that date the culture a bit. Like, if that was literally her major field of expertise and she didn’t know about it, that should tell you how not-mainstream fanfic was.

I’m kind of out of touch with that myself. Do kids (ya’ll are kids to me okay? xD) mention fanfiction as a reading/entertainment medium in normal conversation? Like, you could mention, without getting weird looks, ‘oh i enjoy reading fanfiction’ or (and i’m like internally gasping at the idea here) being able to say ‘yeah i enjoy writing fanfiction’? Is that a thing? I sure as hell don’t tell my peers that I write fanfic, let alone that i’m approaching 1million words for borderlands stuff alone AHAHAH It’s STILL taboo and seen as a lesser writing medium to folks my age. If you weren’t in a ‘geek’ circle (and i mean, i had friends who played D&D at lunch, and one friend who we mentioned fanfic together with) then culturally, as an art form, it wasn’t acceptable to discuss. Like, i’m STILL in that mindset that fanfic is not something to be discussed off the internet with people and it makes me very very uncomfortable to do so unless i know 100% I can speak discretely with someone. That’s what the offline culture was. I know its way different in some respects, like me and my youngest sister are 10yrs apart and her experiences with fandom are wildly different, but the idea of people actually talking about someone’s fic together with friends absolutely blows my fucking mind.

So, it’s changed in good ways too xD I just fucking HATE people who think they’re entitled to never comment or give back to the community sooooo i tend to get stuck on that issue, ESPECIALLY, again, as a writer approaching 1million words. *salute* doing my duty to the fandom community LOLOL or polluting the fandom community if you’re an anti AHAHAH antis can suck my entire ass and i’ll go on to put another million words of what they HATE into the world and they cant stop me ;3 spite is a fabulous motivator xD

The tools back then were a lot more crude, abilities and functionality was limited (but also better in some ways; moving fic to the ‘backroom’ so to speak), and even finding stuff was hard and relied on the hushed whispers of friends, but damn the community was better. So much better. So much more positive and accountability made people decent. So like, I do LOVE a lot of what we have now, but we have lost SO much. Both in terms of content and sense of community. I wish people would put more positivity into the content they’re consuming and lift up others. It’s why i try my damnedest to leave commenting tags on EVERY SINGLE THING i ever reblog here, because i *know* firsthand how much it means. To scream your art into the silence and only get the equivalent of stares back is maddening.

So yeah. Stuff has changed. Capitalism and censorship are running especially rampant hand-in-hand right now, and lord forbid we come full circle where there are no more places for us. I mean, if we have to go back to email lists, hell I’m already ready and an old veteran to that system anyhow. I’d miss all the content we all have access to…. but then there’s also that 90% commenting rate you get with that kind of system so HEEEEEY let it all fall down! bahahah xD

[mairzymarzipan]

Night of the Full Moon Character Reviews: The Carpenter(s) and the Lumberjack(s)

After yesterday’s events, I decided to push my reviews of these characters way up.

Just a note that at this point, I’m going to just sum up descriptions.  Some of them get to be really longg and sort of redundant in their wording.  

The Carpenter/The Werewolf

The Carpenter, Jerry, is a character Red might meet in the first chapter.  He’s usually very weak and a quick battle.  I can’t even remember his attacks.  His reason for fighting you is he’s worried about your safety.  When he talks to you, you can either choose to thank him, tell him you’ll protect yourself, or disregard him.  If you thank him, he stops himself from saying something.  If you disregard him, he’s hurt.

ofc if you read my post yesterday you that the big twist that he’s also the werewolf you fight in the end.  The second fight is definitely more of a challenge.  The werewolf has regenerative powers.  His main gimmick is that, on each turn, you have to pick one of seven cards, each with a different effect.  Two of them actually benefit you but most of them are a pain in the ass.  I recommend using the 90% heal and the ‘you can’t use cards’ option while you have a lot of health.

“I don’t know if it’s because he is young and shy or because he’s a werewolf, but the carpenter won’t tell Little Red Riding Hood how he feels. He was worried that on a full moon night he will turn, lose control and harm the villagers. The werewolf planned to go and spend the night in the Black Forest, but he did not expect to be pursued by hunters. He was injured and finally fell at Little Red Riding Hood’s hands...he didn’t even get the chance to say anything.”

So yeah, this is another downer ending.  Honestly, idk what is worse- killing your grandma or your childhood friend.  This is another weird instance of the text going into first person for no reason.  Who’s talking here?  The Infected?

The Carpenter description is quite a bit longer, but it summarizes to:

He’s adopted

His dad is the lumberjack

He makes beautiful furniture

He’s well liked

He’s got a secret crush on his friend, Red

He’s a werewolf

He’s kept that secret from everyone

He does not remember when he got cursed

He’s worried he might harm people when he’s a wolf

I would like to know how the heck he managed to keep the werewolf thing secret from his dad, who he lived with.  This isn’t like, oh, he has a certain opinion.  Nah- this is his body transforming every month.  How does his dad miss that?

Him being adopted also kind of hints that his bio parents are werewolves, as does this.

This is the picture you get when you toggle Jerry’s class to hard: a crying werewolf leaving a human baby at a lumberjack’s shop.

Since there’s a full moon and the werewolf is, well, a wolf, and the baby isn’t, I’m going to bet that werewolves in this world don’t start transforming until a certain age.  Jerry would be old enough to know that he has to hide himself once he starts.  One does wonder, though, why the wolf needs to leave their baby.  Does it have something to do with the arrow in their leg?

Maybe this will be like Red’s set.  Maybe we’ll get all kinds of Jerry classes and each one will display a scene of him a little older to tell a story.  

Here’s another theory: This wolf is the Cursed Werewolf, who Jerry might fight as a boss.  I mean it works just as well as Red fighting her grandma.

I must say, fighting as Jerry is pretty fun.  It feels as chaotic as a card game can be, yanno?  Like you really are a rabid wolf.  I especially love the cards you can get, though.  A lot of them have Jerry- as a wolf or a human- on them.  And they sort of humanize him a lot.  He has this whole range of emotions, whereas the cards Red appears on always makes her look like a badass.

I especially love that one.

Anyhoo, I’m gonna give Jerry 🌕🌕🌕🌕 four full moons.  He’s a cute kid, and as a werewolf, and challenging fight.  It’s clear that they’re planning to embellish on his story more.  I just do not care about the romance angle, tho, and I hate that the game does so much.

The Lumberjack

When Red encounters the Lumberjack, he’s wondering what she’s doing out so late, but isn’t really trying to stop her.  If you defeat him, he’ll tell you about Jerry going missing and ask if you’ve seen him.  He even sees he goes missing every full moon, and yet he still hasn’t put the werewolf thing together yet?  Oi.  

One bit of interesting trivia is that his dialog actually changed.  He used to say, “Who are you?  What are you doing here?”  So, I guess he used to be just, a guy, but then the programmers decided to make him important.  That’s cool.

His description tells us that the Lumberjack found Jerry in the woods, so it clashes with the illustration we saw earlier, but I’m willing to forgive that.  Also it was snowing when he found the baby.  Either it was winter or the curse was in affect even waaaaay back then.

I’ll give him 🌲🌲 two trees.  He’s a good solid character for what he is.  Obviously he is just there to be a part of Jerry’s story but he does as best as he can in a support role.  He’s just, not terribly memorable?  I’ve fought him several times but I’m struggling to remember what cards he uses.

The Crocodile

The Crocodile is a boss, so you could find him in any of the three chapters.  He makes good use of attack cards.  He also has some great lines.

“I’m more like drift wood.”

“Family means hope.”

“Crocodiles don’t cry only because...they’re never sad.”

“I could never lift an axe...”

I haven’t talked about the voice artists yet, but I feel like the crocodile gets one of the better English ones. It’s too bad these people aren’t credited! Honestly, why?

But yeah, he really does a good job of making this character sound like a real person. There’s a sense of trying to put on a brave face with self-effacing jokes while honestly being miserable.  

So anyway, this guy

“This powerful-looking crocodile was once a lumberjack. Once he learned that the identities of Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother had been exposed, he tried to help them hide. However, the church patroller had other ideas. Things didn’t end up well for the lumberjack, but Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother made it out. Now he still waits for the curse to be lifted from the Black Forest, for it afflicts many innocent people, including his out son: the carpenter, Jerry.”

Is Jerry’s dad.

Jerry’s dad in, another timeline?  This whole thing about Red and Grandma needing to hide for a while- that’s not really referenced in the other character bios.  Usually it’s just Grandma going out into the woods and Red needing to find her.  The human Lumberjack doesn’t seem very protective of Red.  He seems totally understanding of her quest and only asks if she’s seen his son.  So it doesn’t make sense for him to get turned into a croc while trying to help her the same night when he was on his own mission.  But this bio kind of gives the impression that this guy has been trapped for like, months if not years.

I can tell you that Jerry’s line got changed too.  It used to be ‘One day, my father went into the dark forest, and never came back”.  Now it’s “There are those who go into the forest and never return.”  

It almost seems like the Crocodile being Jerry’s father is something the creators want to retcon out of existence.  So far this description hasn’t changed, but I keep watching it.  

It would bum me out, to be honest, if that were the case.  The Crocodile is, honestly, my favorite character.  He’s the reason I got so swept up into the lore of this game.  Not only does he have the best lines, but his voice actor is really good.  You get the sense of a guy who’s losing hope because he lost his family, and at the same time hates himself because he wouldn’t be able to provide for them anyway.  But he’s also proud, and doesn’t want Red to know he’s cursed, and certain not a person who cries!

I also love that these two sometimes-animal people are both cursed but also both taking pains to keep the other from finding out about the curse.  Wonderful irony, there.

The obvious way to fix this situation with the two lumberdads is...with two dads.  In fact, in my fics Jerry does have two dads- a red headed guy who’s still there, and another one who’s missing.  He’s supposed to look like this.

Anyhoo, I’m going to give him 🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊 SIX big toothy lizards in the hope that the devs will save my croc son!