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thefrogdalorian · 8 months

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The Best of Both Worlds

Din Djarin x Female Reader Modern!AU

Summary: When a new Star Wars TV show called The Mandalorian premiered, you found yourself completely enamoured with the titular character. Enjoyment of watching the lone bounty hunter travel through the galaxy quickly turned to obsession. There was just something about the show that captured your imagination. Now, you spend much of your free time — when you're not working a fast-paced, minimum wage and incredibly stressful job at a prestigious London Museum— speaking to your online friends about your love for the show. There's just one thing... Despite how much you love The Mandalorian, no one knows the identity of the man behind the helmet... either in the show, or in real life. You only know him as Mando. No one has ever seen his face, no one knows his name. Even after the countless hours of speculation from fans online, which even you have occasionally participated in, no one is any the wiser to the identity of the mysterious man who wears the shiny armour. Surely, given the depth of your love for the show, you'd recognise if the man who you spend so much time obsessing over online was to ever cross paths with you. Right?

Content Warnings: Reader is AFAB, uses she/her pronouns and in her mid 20s. Age gap between her and Din is noted but not really central to the story. Grogu is human, hints of past trauma/child abuse before Din adopted him are mentioned but not described in detail. Some mature scenes later on in the fic but not explicit smut... because I just cannot write x reader smut! Author's Note: SO very excited to finally share this fic! Thank you to the lovely @suresnips for being my beta. I really appreciate you ♡ This baby was originally my NaNoWriMo 2023 project and was inspired by this post from @toxic-seduction that I saw one evening and couldn't stop thinking about! POVs will alternate chapter to chapter from Din to reader. It was fun to write that way! Set in London for a few reasons: partly because I love the movie Notting Hill and it has some of those vibes (if you squint), also, the village where Din lives is based on Elstree Studios just outside London, where the OT was filmed and ultimately because NO WAY was I writing a modern!AU set in the states, it would've been painfully obvious a Brit wrote it. While there are lots of references to places in London, I don't live there so it might not be truly accurate (Londoners don't come for me). Also, to be political for a sec, reader works at the British Museum and I hate that institution. This was actually the line of work I was interested in when I was at Uni but for many different reasons I did not pursue it. However, it works for the plot of this story and as you'll see, she doesn't exactly love it either and goes on a few rants. Just wanted to make that clear that her job there is not an endorsement of it or anything. I can't stand them or their historical apologist bs and I wish we would give back all the things we stole (including the Parthenon Marbles)! Finally, it was incredibly important to me that the actor behind Mando in this fic clearly be the fictional character of Din Djarin rather than the real person Pedro Pascal, because rpf is not my jam! I hope I did that pretty well but just wanted to warn that if you're expecting me to use Din as some kind of way to write a Pedro fic, this won't be for you! Okay, I'll shut up now! This fic is fully written, just needs editing so hopefully I'll get a couple of chapters up each week, but life happens. I'm very proud of this one and I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Also if you would like to be added to my taglist for this fic, please let me know! Happy reading ♡

❁ My Masterlist ❁ Read on AO3 ❁

Why Does It Always Rain On Me? [Reader POV]: After a dreadful day which saw you drenched by a rainstorm after leaving a hectic day at work, you reflect on your love for Mando and upcoming excitement for the sci-fi convention you will soon be attending with your internet best friend.

He Is My Only Priority [Din's Pov]: The character of The Mandalorian is known and loved by millions. But there is another, much softer side to the man who portrays him that Din Djarin is determined to keep hidden from the world, despite the challenges that presents for him and his beloved son, Grogu.

This Is Why (I Don't Leave The House) [Reader's POV]: Your internet bestie arrives in preparation for the Star Wars convention you will attend together. Everything is set for the greatest weekend of your life! Until you arrive at the con and find yourself overwhelmed by all the crowds and noise. At least you have numerous incredibly realistic Mando cosplays to distract you from how stressed you feel, and there's one in particular which is uncannily accurate...

Curiosity Killed The Cat [Din's POV]: Despite his reservations and against his better instincts, Din heads to a Star Wars convention that he was invited to. Although he fears that his cover will be blown, curiosity gets the best of Din and he can't resist attending a panel. But Din doesn't exactly find the answers he was looking for. Instead, he finds something far more precious. Something that he would never have expected...

He's So Tall (And Handsome As Hell) [Reader's POV]: Being back in the real world and returning to work after an incredible weekend at the convention where you had so many fun experiences is taking its toll on you. The thought of collapsing on your couch in front of The Mandalorian is the only thing keeping you going. However, the universe has other plans for you. News of an out-of-hours tour for a private client that you are asked to lead almost sends you over the edge, but when you finally meet the man, he is the opposite of what you were expecting. Weirdly, he seems familiar...

With A Little Help From My Friends [Din's POV]: Din returns to the set of The Mandalorian to begin filming a new season. Despite his experience and capability, he finds that he struggles to focus as his thoughts remain firmly fixed on a certain someone...

You're The Sunflower [Reader's POV]: Despite feeling certain that you'll never see the ridiculously handsome man you gave a tour of the museum to, a special delivery is about to change everything...

Your Face Hung Up High In The Gallery [Din's POV]: After a difficult few days of filming The Mandalorian, Din is excited to spend time with you as he finally takes you on your first proper date...

Have I Known You Twenty Seconds or Twenty Years? - (Reader's POV): Despite a messy evening which led to you waking up in an opulent hotel which you have no memory of falling asleep in, memories of kind brown eyes and breathless kisses soon come flooding back to soothe your soul. Your relationship deepens as the two of you spending time together whenever your busy schedules allow. But one night, a turn of events causes you - despite Din's reassurances - to wonder if everything you have been working so hard to build together has just come crashing down around you...

There's A War Inside Of Me - [Din's POV]: The realities of the secret he is keeping from you begin to weigh heavily on Din's mind and he seeks advice from a certain curly haired co-star on what his next move should be. Things don't go exactly according to plan, not least because of the typically awful English weather...

It Could Be Love, We Could Be The Way Forward - [Reader's POV]: With your respective busy jobs keeping you and Din apart, a mystery date after a hectic day at work is exactly what you needed.

The Calm - [Din's POV]: When filming overruns and conspires to keep Din from the fun weekend he planned for you, he agonises over his decision. Fortunately, he manages to salvage the weekend, even after a calamity involving a rowboat...

The Storm - [Reader's POV]: The happiness you feel in response to a question Din posed to you is somewhat clouded by lingering doubts. Yet your affection for each other helps you to push those emotions down, until a weekend spent at his cottage changes everything...

P.S. - I tried to be inclusive for all body types and skin tones in this fic, but if I missed something, I do apologise. If you do spot something that takes you out of the fic, I am more than happy for constructive criticism as I wouldn't want anyone to be excluded on those grounds. I am always trying to do better and would love to know where I went wrong so I can improve and be more aware of these things going forward, so I would appreciate it if you could let me know if you do spot anything. Thank you so much! ♡

#my fics #tbobw #din djarin fic #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #the mandalorian x reader #mando x reader #din djarin #pedro pascal characters #the mandalorian fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro boys

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italianpersonwithashippersheart · 2 months

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We Are The Series: Why I Didn't Like It

I am writing this for the 3 people on this website who completed this but didn't love it.

@automaticpenguincreation tagging you because we talked about this and I said I would. Also chatting with you is what made me want to finally say something.

Disclaimers (Please Read Them):

I am going to be critical in this post, not hateful, I don't hate this show, but critical. Engage in good faith if you can, If you can't don't.

I do not want my criticism to be dismissed saying I must not be getting it. I spend weeks making sure I got it. Read all the praise and even reblogged the occasional post because I see the value this show has for people. All I am saying is that I don't like this.

Again some of my later critics are about the choices that were made in this series. I understand that a lot of what I am about to critique was made on porpouse and is indeed part of the appeal.

I have seen maybe 1 post on tumblr being overly critical (@bengiyo post and I guess mine) I don't know where people got the impression that this show is being hated. But If you geniuly want to know why some people might have not liked this show you can read my thoughts and see for yourself.

I have watched and enjoyed stuff like this before. I am not making any moral judgement on you. Just because I don't like this doesn't mean you can't like it.

Part One: Pros

I am going to start with the good things. My honest review of this show is: It's a Mid University BL that is doing something different with the friendship and quietly subverting a couple of of classical Uni BL tropes.

I can see how that would have valued for people that watched all the Uni BL. I get that part of the appeal.

The friendships in this show are very good, they are framed as just as important if not more important then the romances. And I appriciate that. It's also one of the only two realtionships the show set up writing wise and spend any ammount of writing effort making you want to root for. Chain and Pun being the other one.

Pon being added to the cast late and them having to reshoot things were handled beautifully, you can't actually tell there was ever any issues at all and it feels like Pon was always meant to be there.

PondPhuwin story with the you must be my slave bit was handled pretty well. It certantly could have done worse. I think the story does a pretty good job writing the resolution in a satisfying manner.

I can tell that this meant a lot to people both fans and the cast and crew. All art is subjective. Just because I don't feel any value from this doesn't mean it doesn't have it.

The story is escapism, it deliberately downplays all the negative bits of life and of queer life to make a fluffy cute show. It is a similar appeal to My School President. I can't find the post that talked about that anymore, but indeed the appeal of My School President is that for the majority of the story they just get to be normal high schoolers and this is treated like a normal romance.

I have always seen the homophobia at the end of MSP not as a break in the format but a sign our boys were growing up, almost out of the protective halls of high school (in the specific bubble version of high school the story set up) and into the real world.

That is the appeal of We Are the series. Which is why in my personal opinion it's not a pure slice of life series (which wasn't ever said in the negative at least by me), it certentaly might have slice of life inspirations, and it might be using a similar structure (see @shortpplfedup post's comparing this to Hospital Playlist a show I didn't see but I have seen called Slice of Life by multiple other people). I don't personally feel like a show can be slife of life and escapism at the same time. You are 100% free to have a different opinion on this.

I am not going to give it more praise simply because the website is full of praise for this show and because those are the main points that i enjoyed.

Part Two: Cons

Let's start with the big one the plot has no throughline (I first encounter this term on this website which I highly reccomend the TLDR is: A throughline is the core "problem" of a show, the part of the structure that ties all the events together).

Exemples of throughline from a slice of life ql I watched recentely (and I am simplying to use this as an exemple). She Loves To Cook and She Loves to eat: Our main girls are alone, they go through life missing a connection, they both have needs that could be met by another person. During the course of the story they form a connect to each other and other people. They form a bond. The story ends with them moving in together, permanentely affirming that they are a unit now, and therefor will never go through life alone again. The "problem" of the start is resolved.

We Are the Series doesn't have that. And it doesn't have that by desing. Uni BL usual throughline is main relationship but they can do that here. What I would have put as the throughline is the friendships. Making the "problem" is the friendship group of long time friends going to survive Uni and various romantic relationships.

But the show doesn't that, because that would mean having arcs, and conflict and that is something the show doesn't want to do to not hurt the escapism.

It is a stylistic choice I don't like but it doesn't I understand why it wasn't made.

This is why to some people it feels like We Are the Series doesn't have a story. It is very common for story with no throughline to give that feeling to people.

Events happen, characters made decision, they talk to each other. But it doesn't feel like it has a narrative plot.

It is also why it doesn't have a classical climax. I know we clown a lot on episodes 11 and penultimate episodes of BLs and some of them are not well handled and too dramtic, or too high stakes for the resolution we are going to get. But the reason we get those it's because it's a climax, the highest point of tension in the story.

She Loves To Cook and She Loves to Eat climax is the problems with finding a place to go, because that is the highest point of tension of the throughline. We Are the series had no conflicts in the penultimate episodes because it doesn't have anything to raise, the story has no tension what so over.

Conflict and Tension don't just mean break up and fight scenes, a low key slice of life story can have both tension and conflict the exemple GL I have given has both.

As I mention before the only thing this show had any interesting in setting up and writing with any sort of effort was the friendships and ChainPun.

The reason why I feel like ChainPun were the best written ship is because all the other ships assume your engagement instead of writing reasons to make us care.

Tangent to explain what I mean: Back when playbooy was airing I exchanged a couple of mgs with @my-rose-tinted-glasses talking about not being able to get attached to any of the character. In my answear I said I started the series already attached because I was keeping up with the characters and plot and got pre-excited about it. So my investment was already high.

I think something similar is happening with We Are the series and the known ships. What I mean is most of the people watching this have already seen at least one show with almost all the main pair. We know what their deal is, what their chemestry is, what their dynamic will be like. The details might be different but we already know them. And I feel like the writing of the series relyed on this fact too much. I don't think there was any effort being made into making you root for them. Maybe PondPhuwin having to write the resolution to you must be my slave plotline. But that is it.

AouBoom get together at episode 5. We barely know anything about either of them, Fang is such a non character at the point I could maybe tell you three things about him. I am not sure how I am supposed to care about them except for the fact that it is AouBoom and I have seen and loved them in other shows and like many people desperately want them to be mains.

ChainPun was the only expeption, they had to use crumbs and a slow writing and only making them get together at the end because they are the only ship we never saw before. The only ships the writer couldn't assume you the audience already be invested in from the get go. (Also why I was at this point near the end only invested in them much like @respectthepetty)

I want to be super clear about something: I AM NOT CRITICISING YOU THE AUDIENCE FOR THIS RESPONSE. I am criticising the writing for relying on that response and not writing any extra stuff that would help with engement. God knows that I will be guilt of the same thing in other shows. I get pre-invested in shows with Cooheart or Fluke Natouch just because I love those two actors. And If I ever get my Fluke Natouch criminal fucked up character of my dreams in a modern bl that show will be my forever fave are you kidding, they could mess up everything but that character and it would be a 10 out of 10. I am not immune to investing in something just because you love a ship or the actors. I am just saying the writing could have done more to support the ships and assume that would be a small % of the viewers that needed more time and proper writing to get attached to the other ships.

Another big problem for me was something that actually happened to me before with playboyy. See at some point my the middle of Playboyy I realized that the show was never going to have the time to actually go has deep into characters and relationship dynamic they set up as much as I wanted them to. So my emotional engement wained a bit. I still had a lot of fun with it. But I wasn't as much into it as I was in the beggining emotionally speaking. With We Are the Series I realized that pretty much at the begging and got confirmation at episode 5 when AouBoom's character just got together like that. With no arc, no story, no effort. And I know that a story was there, We were told that. But I would have liked to have seen the story instead of it being told to us later.

And I know I am not the only one that found the WinnySatang resolution to be lacking and a little off. You can see @heretherebedork post x x x x about it, I agree with them.

Part Three: Conclusion

Ultimately this show is mid. It's value comes from escapism and the fact that it came out right now, amongs other more plot heavy bls and experimental genre dips. That it does something a little different then all the other Uni BL that came before. And that is actors we already know and love.

It's average for me. But it obviosly meant something for people and that matters.

I want to leave this review but again point out, critiques are not hate, a person not liking a show you like is not an attack on you or your judgement. I know it can be upsetting I have been there. I make a lot of effort to understand different POVs of shows and trying to see what the other person saw in this media, and what kind of life biases (bias as in we all have them, art is subjective and we all look at it according to who we are as people) could make them feel the way they do.

If you do like this show and have read this full post thank you, even if you disagree with me.

I want to leave you with this Italian Idiom: Il mondo è bello perchè è vario. The world is beautiful because its varied.

#we are the series #ITA Original

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a-d-nox · 2 months

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my experience, given my 9h, one year post uni graduation

so as many people know who have been here for awhile my 9h... its a bit much...

for a long time, i have seen people say that pluto and/or chiron in the 9h would mean that you would drop out of college or what have you.

i am living proof that its not always the case.

my experience was the chiron placement giving me anxiety - i hated that i wasn't as great as i had expected i would be. i hated being a psych major (i feel like i have a decent ability to listen and advise others, but it just didn't feel right after 3 years in the major). my department then was shaky because the psychobio/pharm side was questionable at best; maybe one or two people would pass the tests the rest would fail and then it would be curved. the teaching style didn't work and their were no other professors or tutors available to help (WHICH IS INSANE). so i was feeling hopeless and anxious... and depressed... i couldn't see myself passing a test at the end of the term let alone going on to help others if i couldn't understand (which i connected with grades - it didn't matter how many mind maps i made on a topic) the material.

we can skip the dark crap that i went through during that time too because we have already talked about it-

so i healed myself (chiron can be wounded, but he was healer first foremost) by changing my major (pluto is the change).

yay english major - the venus there is really "a doing (learning) what i love" signifier in my opinion.

all this conjuncts my mc, so yes - i got my degree, awards, and lots of people knew what i went through by the end of it because i wrote about it in the school newspaper.

BUT ON TO THE REAL REASON I AM WRITING THIS.

what happened when i stopped being in a learning environment?

it's been a year. to be honest, the 9h chiron feeling is crawling back in. i am sure everyone notices that my posts are more sporadic and just less in general. i am mentally exhausted - i work an 8-5p corporate office job (not in my field). it's hard to not feel uninspired by the end of my day. i feel like i am becoming stunted.

my brain was a sword and without school and constant/consistent learning (especially in areas i am interested in), i feel my sword is without a whetstone.

not to be a complainer (but yes to complain) corporate america squeezes out your motivation, your creativity, and your drive if you are there long enough and if you are in the wrong spot long enough. in my situation, i feel like i try to ask questions and make change and i get rejected? so more stunting.

i feel like people would disagree, but with a 9h like i have (or if you have any of these objects singularly), you have to keep learning. you have to be in the right environment that allows you to continue to expand your being. you have to read outside of work, get certification, take classes, maybe even get more degrees.

personally, i feel like i am not as intelligent as i was a year ago - i'm tired and uninspired. i am tried of fighting for something different where closed mindedness exists. i never felt more free then i was when i was in a classroom.

to wrap this up, it doesn't matter how scary the house looks (chiron, pluto, etc). it needs your attention. if anything, you need to nurture it more. just because you didn't have the best experiences in the area doesn't mean you should ignore it - your "wounds", the "darkest" areas in your life still need your care. wounds heal and without the darkness we wouldn't know the beauty of the light.

click here for the masterlist

want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices!

#astrology #astro community #astro placements #astro chart #natal chart #asteroid astrology #asteroid #astrology tumblr #greek mythology #chiron #astrology chart #natal astrology #astro notes #astro #astrology readings #astrology blog #asteroid2060 #9h

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dystychiphxbia · 1 year

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☆ - Gym crush! pt. 3

this sucked but im so busy with uni aaa

gn!reader

characters: isagi, reo, nagi

Isagi Yoichi:

this guy is new to the gym

he catches your eye, mainly because his form is horrifying at first

where did bro learn how to squat...

you try your best to help him!!

and wow he learns super fast

like...when one is new to the gym they usually progress fast but he's on another level...

you are honestly impressed

and he's so nice too??

except when he has progressed enough to attempt a pr...yeah it's the same level of focusment as when he's playing football

and he can get angry at you for bothering him

but he will always apologize afterwards and say that he just really needed to focus

he really enjoys your company...he was a blushing mess when you first approached him and he still struggles to keep his composure when your hands accidentally touch

always spots for you but first you have to teach him how to do it

definitely talks about you to his friends

they try to get him to ask you out but he always says that you are just his gym crush, no way you return his feelings (but you do)

and your thighs...he WILL be looking at them.

Mikage Reo;

now let's be real...this guy has his own personal gym for sure

but let's say one of his friends drag him to a regular gym....for plot reasons

rich boy is shocked

but you catch his attention...you are so elegant...you dont fit in with all the gym bros

now the problem is he wants to talk to you...would it be weird? can he just invite you to his gym instead?

he overthinks too much

you notice him too, he looks out of place and his gym etiquette is lacking

he forgets to rerack his weights and you immediately go remind him

"oh...im used to not having to rerack them at my own private gym...thanks for the heads up."

nah not the entitled rich boy

but you are a bit jealous...especially when you are waiting for the leg press to be free

reo hates working out in a packed gym but he just cant get you out of his mind even couple days later

his friend says you come often during the peak times and always seem pissed off about having to wait between machines...

so, he returns to the gym once more with a plan

and there you are....waiting for a free squat rack

you were quite surprised to see him...why would a rich boy with his own gym return to a regular gym during peak hours?

once you start racking your weights, reo comes up to you asking how many sets you have left

"bro. i just started. you saw me." "well lemme squeeze in between ur sets yeah?"

you dont like sharing. but the gym is packed. so you give in.

reo keeps talking to you and you realize that he's actually nice

sure he's rich and entitled and has no clue about how the life of a poor commoner is, but you enjoy talking with him

and the way he throws in a few flirts, and makes sure to compliment you...you are a goner

you end up doing your entire routine with him, getting to know him more

you can't help but notice the way he looks at you...and your body

by the end of the workout, he drops the big question

"wanna ditch this gym and workout at mine?"

he promises you can workout for free...ofc you say yes cause that means you can save money

so you save money and he gets to see you almost everyday...an ideal situation!

honestly in the end you care more about seeing reo than saving money...

Nagi Seishiro;

nah who got this man to the gym

again...let's say a friend forced him to come along...for plot reasons...

he does not want to be there

like yes he has his goals that he wants to achieve, but a packed gym is just too much

you see him occupying a machine you need for like 10 mins just being on his phone so you go up to him

he's confused but lets you have the machine, he wasn't really using it anyway

honestly he seems kinda lost

like he doesnt actually know what to do. since he was already dragged to the gym, he should do something useful but he doesn't know what

and you notice...and kinda feel bad for him...he looks like a lost puppy

so!! you help him out!!

you dont know much about football but you help him figure out what he should do at the gym to improve :)

he actually appreciates your help. and you see him come to the gym more and more

this is nagi we are talking about so it's a miracle that he actually keeps coming back

but the thing is that he really wants to see you!! you motivate him

you always smile so brightly when you see him. he just can't get enough of that smile.

everything is less of a hassle with you around!

#blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #blue lock #isagi yoichi #isagi yoichi x reader #reo mikage #reo mikage x reader #mikage reo x reader #nagi seishiro x reader #nagi seishiro

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aloneinthehellfire · 4 months

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Chapter Seven: We Are The Pariahs

The Pariahs That Saved The World

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: vecna's curse, mentions of death, mentions of homophobia, bad father-daughter relationship (story of my life)

[A/N: omg she made it out of her writers block era!!!! I am so so sorry for the long wait on this chapter, I had planned to write it ages ago but felt myself losing part of my creativity (it's a very long story about the trials and tribulations of an arts uni student) but I am trying to make it up to you all by bringing you the most packed chapter yet! And totally not because I was rushing to get to write my favourite part of the series, okay bye]

We Are The Pariahs

You never thought you’d see this room again.

Soft pink walls, almost entirely covered in movie posters and band memorabilia, a fluffy carpet that felt like home beneath your feet. But it wasn’t the room that made your heart beat faster. It was the girl sat on the bed, mascara tears coating her cheeks.

“Heather?” Your voice was small, scared to spook her.

“Y/n? Is that you?”

Her broken voice almost made you run to her, swoop her in your arms, tell her everything was fine.

No, she isn’t real. Y/n… none of this is real.

You were supposed to be stood in the Upside Down, searching for a way out. You had been calling out for Dustin, you saw… you saw something. What did you see?

“Why weren’t you there?”

Heather’s eyes turn dark, her voice dropping to an abnormal pitch. A jolt of fear from your chest settles into a pit of despair in your stomach.

Vecna. You had seen Vecna.

“You… you could have saved me…” Heather’s cheeks were wet with tears, her mascara slithering down her face likes vines. “You weren’t there.”

No mater how hard you tried, no words escaped the lump in your throat. After all, was anything you could say going to stop Vecna?

“I will always hate you for what you did.”

A sob breaks free from your lips, and a smirk etches onto her face, a face slowly peeling away until all that was left was a red and raw face of horror.

“You never let yourself trust your own gut,” Vecna stands from Heather’s bed, creeping closer as you press yourself further into the wall, “Y/n… always the follower…”

“What do you want?” You manage to whisper, turning your face away as his claws begin to rise above you.

“I am giving you one last chance to finally save someone,” He spits, milky white eyes examining yours, “I want you to warn them all, show them…”

His rotten breath fans against your face and you cry, feeling your head tilt back under his control. He leans impossibly closer, seething venomous words into your ear.

“Tell Eleven… or your soul will be next.”

A silent scream leaves you paralysed, eyes wide as something hot pierces your mind.

Flashing images, displays of terror and destruction. You saw your friends, your family, all burning. Hawkins was crumbling, a giant monster with a gaping mouth breaching through the gates. Chaos flew in wisps of ash and fire until there was nothing but total and complete darkness.

“Tell them…”

“Where is it?!”

Robin could hear Steve and Nancy upstairs rummaging through her bedroom drawers for a hope of a Walkman or even that stupid music box, anything. The longer they took, the paler Robin felt. She was stood in front of you, yelling into your ears, trying to shake you awake from your deathly still posture.

“It’s not gonna work!” Eddie stresses behind her for the millionth time, a higher level of panic detected in his voice with each announcement. “Chrissy didn’t- oh my god, she’s gonna end up like Chrissy. My best friend is gonna-”

“Eddie!” Robin snaps at him, his eyes widening in shock. “We are all fucking terrified right now but I need you to get a grip! STEVE! WHERE’S THE MUSIC?!”

“WE’RE WORKING ON IT!” He yells back, matching her own panicked tone, and Robin could almost throw up.

She knew exactly what was going to happen the moment she saw your face drop, the strike of fear on your features as you stared into your reflection. She already anticipated your shoulders to drop and your eyes to roll back. She just didn’t make it to you in time.

“Please, please, please.” Robin begs you, her throat tightening with every flutter of your eyelids.

A choked gasp shouldn’t have been the sweetest sound Robin thinks she’ll ever hear, but once it escaped your lips, relief washes over her like the tide.

You stumble forward and she only just manages to catch you, Eddie already lunging across the room to help. They both lower you to the floor, allow you to sit as you try and catch your breath.

“You’re okay. You’re okay, we got you.” Eddie kept saying, your wild eyes darting around the room like you were afraid of the shadows, clinging onto his arm.

And Robin just sat there, staring at you, trapped in her own fear of the torment she shouldn’t have been feeling. It felt even worse knowing she had anticipated it all.

“What happened?” She finally asks when your breathing is steadier, watching as a pained expression is woven into your features before disappearing in a flash, shaking your head.

“He… he was warning me. Us. Told us to stop.” You nod feverishly, enough to spark curiosity.

But before Robin could question any further, two sets of footsteps come barrelling down the staircase.

“We got it! We got it- it’s right here!” Steve stumbles over his own words, panting for breath as he holds a Walkman in his hand, presenting it to the ceiling like a trophy. Robin blinks.

“You’re only like 5 minutes late.” She rolls her eyes and Steve looks exasperated, a sigh of relief exhaling from his lungs when he notices you sat there.

“Oh, thank god.” He runs a hand through his hair, laughing nervously. “We couldn’t find any music.”

“You couldn’t-” Robin frowns, shaking her head at him. “Then what the hell were we meant to do with that thing?”

“Improvise?” Steve offers and Nancy clears her throat.

“Sorry.” She surrenders, looking at you. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” You nod, attempting a smile but it didn’t settle right on your lips. “Just… just another threat.”

And with yet another lie, they all seemed satisfied enough to continue their mission; contact Dustin. To which they were successful, using light as communication that you usually would find yourself fascinated with. But the entire time you sat there as the others smiled, you couldn’t block out his voice.

“Tell Eleven… or your soul will be next.”

“You and Wayne really aren’t keeping up on the housecleaning.” You comment, and Robin lets out a snort behind you.

Eddie’s trailer was much like the rest of the eerily familiar homes in the Upside Down; dark and filthy. Vines were pretty much scattered across the furniture, almost swallowing the trailer itself whole. But that wasn’t the concerning part.

If you had to pick just one thing to be scared of, it would be the gaping hole in the ceiling.

“This is where Chrissy died.” Eddie says, gulping as you all stared at the thrumming crimson light. “Like, right where she died.”

And just like that, you were now even more terrified.

“Could this day get worse?” You mutter, and you wish you had kept your mouth shut.

“I think there’s something in there.” Robin announces and you all squint upwards, taken aback by a shadow moving against the membrane.

A few slow seconds ticked by, and you wondered if it was just a trick of the light.

Something suddenly pierces through, pieces of the small gate splattering to the ground and you all leap backwards, heart hammering in your ears.

Steve moves first, cautiously peering up before a smile starts to stretch his cheeks. Curious, everyone else follows suit, and you’ve never felt so relieved in your life.

“Hi there.” Dustin laughs in glee as Max, Lucas, and Erica, all wave up to you.

The first face you see as you grin is Robin’s, meeting her hopeful eyes and happy smile with those of your own. In the moment, you reach out your hand as squeeze hers without thinking. You didn’t even notice her grip your hand tighter. You also didn’t remember letting go. Because you never did.

“Holy shit, this is trippy.” Robin laughs, and you can only nod in agreement, looking through the gate as if you truly were Upside Down.

“Bada-bada-boom!” Dustin yells, and you all instinctively laugh.

In a hushed mutter of agreements, the kids start to build the exit plan, dispersing across the trailer. Robin gently tugs on your hand and you look at her inquisitively, her head motioning for you both to step to the side.

“What’s up?” You whisper, unsure of why she wanted to talk in private. If anything, you could only hope why she wanted to talk privately, but that was wishful thinking considering you both barely knew eachother and it probably wouldn’t work because who knows if she’s-

“Did you… did you see something?” She asks and you frown. “Earlier. When Vecna… is there something you’re not telling us?”

“No.” Your response was too quick and her face drops into a serious tone, her hand slipping away from yours and you’ve never thought your hand could feel heavier without the weight. “Robin-”

“You can’t keep secrets, Y/n.” She says and you shut your mouth. “There’s already been so much-”

She takes a breath, eyeing the others as they all appear to be fixated on the events above them.

“You went to the Creel House and never told us about it.” She reminds you, a soft frown marking two small lines between her brows. “You heard Vecna, and you didn’t think that would be important to know. And now you’re having these visions and you’re not telling us the whole story with that, either. Why?”

“It’s…” You begin, but your shoulders slump with exhaustion. She was right. Why are you trying everything to hide it? “He showed me something. Something horrible. About our future, Hawkins. He threatened me, but I- I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t think terrifying everyone else was going to get us anywhere.”

“What did you see?”

“Monsters. Gates.” You gulp, the next word barely audible. “Death.”

“Shit.” Robin blinks, tightening her lips. “Yeah, that’s… that’s pretty terrifying.”

“We need to focus on Max.” You say, glancing over your shoulder to where they were testing out a rope. “We can’t… we can’t help her, or anyone else for that matter, if we’re too focused on the bad ending. And from what I saw…”

“What?” Robin frowns when you don’t speak.

“I don’t think it’s something we can fight.” You admit just as Steve yells out for you both.

“Come on, operation get the hell out of here is commencing. Move it.”

Steve guides Robin by her shoulder, making her frown in confusion. He points to the rope.

“What do you want me to do with that?”

“Climb it.” Steve says, like it was obvious.

“Seriously?” She cranes her neck to look up at it, an encouraging thumbs up from Dustin on the other side. She looks around to see no-one else is volunteering. “Guess I’m the guinea pig.”

She manages to catch your eye before reaching for the rope, unspoken words floating between you both as she focuses on her climb, ignoring the burn on her palms as she mustered up enough strength to reach the top.

The strangest feeling washes over her as her head passes through the gate, blood rushing to her face. She was upside down now, holding onto the rope.

And then she was falling, landing on a mattress with a soft thump, staring up at the ceiling of familiar faces.

“That was fun.” She announces as she accepts Dustin’s hand, pulling herself to her feet.

“Who’s next?” Nancy asks, and after that, everyone started to make their way to the other side.

Eddie landed first, grinning at everyone with a casual “That was fun.”

You passed through the gate next, smiling at Robin as she offers her hand and ignoring the unsettling feeling in your stomach as you stared back up at the gate, waiting.

Nancy readies herself on the rope, obviously affected by Steve’s nature to always be the last.

She didn’t climb.

“Nancy?” You’re the first to speak, stepping on top of the mattress to get a better look.

And then Steve was trying to shake her awake while the others searched in panic for music she would listen to. But you didn’t move.

You refused Vecna’s threat, and all of a sudden Nancy was now cursed? It didn’t feel like a coincidence.

It felt like your fault.

Nancy had snapped awake after a painfully chaotic chorus of panic, her wide eyes of horror speaking more to you than it would anyone else. You were relieved to know she wasn’t cursed, just another messenger for the dark wizard. You were in fear of knowing Vecna didn’t tolerate insubordination.

The things she had told everyone made Robin feel too sober, her back resting against a cabinet on the floor while they had all sat in silence, Nancy’s voice thick with tears.

Vecna wanted revenge, and that meant Hawkins was on his kill-list.

Robin couldn’t help glancing your way when Nancy started describing the details of your own vision, but your eyes were fixated on the carpet. She hadn’t known you for long, but she didn’t think you were ever this quiet.

“Four chimes.” Max suddenly says, cutting through the tense air. “Vecna’s clock. It always chimes four times. Four exactly.”

“I heard them too.” Nancy agrees shakily.

“He’s been telling us his plan this whole time.” Max realises, and Robin feels very sick.

“Four kills.” Lucas understands. “Four gates... End of the world.”

“If that’s true…” Dustin speaks, looking at Max, “He’s only one kill away.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ.” Eddie mutters, rubbing his face, “Jesus Christ.”

“Try ‘em again.” Steve orders to no one in particular, pointing to the phone, “Try them again.”

Max nods and grabs the receiver to dial the number they had been trying for the past few minutes. You had hoped the Byers would be able to help, that El would come back and help you win this. But no one ever answered.

“What do we do now?”

Your voice was a surprise to everyone having been the only person unable to share your own input to Nancy’s visions. Your throat felt hoarse, and there was a pounding headache forming behind your eyes. It was all starting to feel hopeless.

“We’re going back to the Upside Down and we’re killing Vecna.” Nancy announces and Robin’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

“Hold on, wait, let’s think this through.” Steve objects, standing from the couch.

“What is there to think through?” She countered, crossing her arms.

“We barely made it out of there in one piece!” Steve stresses and you watch as they argue, unsure of who’s side to take.

“Because we weren’t prepared!” Nancy replies. “But this time, we will be. We’ll get weapons and protection. We’ll go through the gate, we’ll find his lair, and we’ll kill him.”

“Or he’ll kill us.” Steve says and across the room, Robin raises her eyebrows at you. “The only reason you survived is because he wanted you to. He’s not scared of us.”

“And for good reason.” Robin interrupts, standing up and clearing her throat, “We were wrong about Vecna. Henry. One. Sorry, what are we calling him now?”

“One.”

“Vecna.”

“Henry.”

“Right.” Robin breathes out, continuing. “We’ve learned something new about Vecna/Henry/One. He’s a number like Eleven, only a sick, evil, male, child-murdering version of her with really bad skin.”

“Ew.” Erica turns up her nose.

“But, my-my… my point is, he’s super powerful. He could turn us inside out with a snap of his fingers. It’s not a fair fight.”

“Then why fight fair?” Dustin intercepts and you turn around to look at him. “You’re right. He’s like Eleven. But that gives us an upper hand. We know Eleven’s strengths. And weaknesses.”

“What weaknesses?” You question with little effort, and Robin can’t help but feel a little upset at how hopeless you sound.

“When El remote-travels, she goes into this sort of trance-like state. I bet the same is true of Vecna.” Dustin explains.

“That would explain what he was doing in that attic.” Lucas comments.

“Exactly.” Dustin nods. “When he attacks his next victim, I’ll bet you he’s back in that attic, physical body defenceless.”

“Defenceless?” Steve raises his brows, gesturing to his bruised neck. “What about the army of bats?”

“True. We’ll have to find a way past them.” Dustin accepts, “Distract them somehow.”

“And, uh,” Eddie leans forward, “How do we do that exactly?”

“No idea. But once they’re gone, he doesn’t stand a chance.” He smiles, “It’ll be like slaying sleeping Dracula in his coffin.”

“That all sound good in theory, but there is no pattern to Vecna’s killings. I mean, at least not one that I can decipher.” Robin says, “We don’t know when he’s going to attack next. We don’t even know who he’s going to attack.”

“Yeah, we do.” Max speaks up and your stomach drops. “I can still feel him. I’m still marked. Cursed. I ditch Kate Bush, I draw his focus back to me.”

“What?” Your head whips up, frowning.

“Max. You can’t. He’ll kill you.” Lucas whispers out and she shrugs.

“I survived before.” She reminds him and Lucas frowns. “I can survive again.”

“How?” Robin observes the way you stare up at Max with a look of remorse. You really cared about these kids, about her. It’s why you were here in the first place. You could have flown back to Stanford, but you chose to stay.

Which is why the thought of Max sacrificing herself after all of this felt so absurd.

“I just need to keep him busy long enough so that you guys can get into that attic.” She says, slowly nodding. “Then you can chop his head off. Stab him in the heart. Or blow him up with some explosive Dustin cooks up, I honestly- I don’t care how you put this asshole in his grave, just… whatever it is… whatever you do… try not to miss.”

It sounded like her closing statement, an invisible signed document of her stubbornness. Nothing you could say would change her mind, and you knew she was right. This was the only way.

“Now all we need is a shit ton of weapons.” You sigh, spreading your hands in exasperation.

“Where the hell are we gonna get that?” Steve frowns, exchanging a look with Robin. “Doubt Officer Friendly is gonna let us raid the station.”

“No need.” Eddie suddenly stands, stretching his arms. “I know exactly where we can find them.”

Everyone frowns, some in confusion, some in concern. You roll your eyes.

“Don’t say War Zo-” You start, but Eddie doesn’t let you finish.

“War Zone!”

War Zone was pretty much how you assumed a store named that would look. It was a giant warehouse filled with aisles and aisles of anything you could possibly get your hands on. Guns, ammo, grenades, knives. All you could ever need for battle.

It was just a shame the only two excited for this trip had to be hidden from the public. You thought it was ironic that you were trying to avoid suspicion just after stealing a whole Winnebago.

“Hey!” Dustin protests as Steve sits him back down at the table, shaking his head.

“Sorry, man. It’s too risky.” He explains, but the curly-haired boy just pouts.

“Hellfire stays inside.” Nancy announces and despite Eddie’s look of disappointment, he didn’t kick up a fuss. He could look at guns another day, when there was no longer a price on his head.

“Okay, time for some… shopping.” Robin shrugs as Max jumps out of the RV behind you, slamming the door shut. “Are we, uh, looking for anything in particular?”

“Anything that looks like it’s gonna hurt.” You say, surprising the others. None of them object.

Swarms of mostly bulky men were walking down the aisles when you all entered, seemingly curious yet unbothered by your little group. You all definitely looked out of place.

“Uh… we should also probably look out for clothes.” You suggest, gesturing to Steve’s stark outfit. Your own was covered in black slime and dirt, much like Nancy and Robin’s.

“Good idea.” Steve says as he makes a beeline for the clothing department.

“I’m gonna head over to the guns. I’ve got an idea of what I want.” Nancy nods and Max takes Erica with her to the smaller section of knives and bug repellent.

“What do we think?” Robin asks with a lighter tone, posing with a beret on her head.

“You know what, it actually suits you.” You laugh and she flashes you a smile, throwing it into the shopping cart.

She begins to peruse the jewellery section next, making you chuckle in amusement as you spot Steve trying on a jacket further down.

It had been a while since either of you talked. After your vision in the Upside Down, you could tell he was walking on eggshells around you, much unlike your usual banter. Now that you think about it, you can’t remember the last time you had an honest conversation with you.

“So, weird question, but, um… how are we meant to be paying for this?” You question as you walk over to him, a surprised look on his face as he glances over at Robin. She seemed to be preoccupied by the studded belt in her hands.

“I’ve still got my whole compensation fund from Starcourt we could-”

He stops once he says it. Starcourt. He saw how your face drops without permission, giving him a small glimpse of the sadness that wore away inside you.

“I, uh… we could use my savings money.” You offer, trying anything to pretend like your momentary lapse of weakness didn’t happen. “I mean, it was meant for books and stuff back at Stanford but I feel like this is a much more important use for it considering the whole end of the world scenario we’ve found ourselves in.”

You attempt a laugh, but it came out with too little volume, and all too much air. You try to redirect your attention to the vest in front of you. It looked like tough leather, hopefully thick enough to add some protection to your frame.

“Sorry I’ve been such an asshole.”

The battle vest almost slipped from your hands as you turn to catch Steve’s eye. His expression was serious, an apologetic look pointed at you.

“Huh?” You frown, unsure when this sudden turn of conversation started.

“I haven’t really been grateful. To have you here with us, I mean. You literally dropped your life just to help us, and I’ve been nothing but an asshole to you. High school was years ago.”

“If it helps, I have also been an asshole, so…” You laugh and you manage to spark a smile on his face. “And of course I’m here. You are, too. I’m not the only one risking everything.”

You didn’t expect a genuine smile from Steve Harrington to ever be sent your way, but you found yourself smiling back. In so few words, it was like a war had been resolved between you. A long time coming, at that.

You watch as his gaze drifts to behind you, his brows furrowing.

“Uh… I’ll be right back.”

You turn to see him jog over to Robin, placing a hand on her back. From this distance, you could just see her standing there with a fallen expression, staring at something further down the aisle. You take two steps back, curiously searching for the source of her uncharacteristic torment, but you can’t see past the couple laughing together.

The guy was quite tall, someone you think you recognise from school. Dan, was it? He was smiling down at a girl not much younger than you, wearing a grin and ginger hair.

It took a second for the realisation to hit, and by then Steve and Robin had wondered back over to you, quickly explaining you all needed to leave before you were suddenly rushing back to the Winnebago, left to sit for a little while longer with your thoughts.

Why was Robin so upset about a random couple in the middle of War Zone?

Robin hadn’t expected to see Vickie anywhere, let alone a stupid illegal gun shop on the outskirts of Hawkins. It definitely caught her off-guard, and since she watched what little hope she maybe had left of dating suddenly kiss a man, it also felt right. After all, she was a pariah. That was all she was going to be.

“I don’t care.” She interrupts Steve’s attempt to rationalise the prior events, rambling about the impossibility of Vickie not liking women too.“And I don’t understand why you do either with everything that’s going on. Honestly, this feels like a perfect time for that little pull of the rug because… in the face of the world ending, the stakes of my love life feel spectacularly low.”

A sigh leaves her lips just in time for her to catch a glance of you across the field. You were sat cross-legged on the grass, laughing as Eddie and Dustin play-fought with their new and improved battle shields. As she sat just outside the Winnebago, holding a funnel for the molotov cocktails they had ordered, she feels a smile tugging at her lips when she sees your grin, and then she shakes it away as fast as she can. Not fast enough for it to go unnoticed.

“Aren’t you always telling me about all the fish in the sea?” He smirks, waggling his eyebrows and she grimaces. She knows he’s only joking, trying to tease her a little bit. But he doesn’t realise it wasn’t a game to her.

“Ew, no, don’t be gross.”

“I just think you’d be perfect together-”

“Okay.” She quickly stands up, almost spilling the bottles. “I think we’re running out of alcohol. I’m gonna go find some more.”

“Why are you being weird?” He frowns as she starts walking away. “But- we have enough bottles here!”

You heard Steve’s shout across the field as Dustin starts making a joke about bats, turning your head to see Robin was quickly walking away from him and disappearing inside the Winnebago. You were twisting grass between your fingers, staring longingly at the trailer home door. You wanted to talk to her. You needed to.

Your legs moved before your brain could comprehend it, marching you across that field with determination. There was no more putting it off. You couldn’t spend your last moments before what could be the end of the world sat on the grass wondering what would have happened if you’d just had the courage to open up.

Robin managed to compose herself for a bit, running her hands down her face and catching a glimpse of herself on a small mirror. Her mascara had rubbed off a little around her eyes, her hair now dirty and wild from the whirlwind of their adventures. With a sigh, she grabs another box of bottles. She so badly wanted a shower. Or at least to just curl up in her bed and pretend like the world was going to be just fine if she fell asleep.

She knew any minute now Steve would come looking for her, demanding answers. He was right. She was acting weird. But how else were you meant to act when you were slowly coming to the realisation that you’d be alone forever? How could she pretend to be normal when she had to sit and watch everyone else fall in love when she couldn’t, or reconnect with their high school sweethearts while she mourned the feeling of never experiencing teenage love?

She wasn’t normal. Nothing in her life felt more real than that.

“Hey.” You suddenly announce yourself and Robin drops the box she was holding, cursing under her breath as she scrambles to collect it before she lost all composure. You wince. “Sorry.”

“No, you- it just-” Robin presses her lips together, sighing. “I didn’t expect to see anyone in here.”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” You grimace even harder, motioning to the door. “This was weird, I can go-”

“No!” She drops the box again, on the small table this time. “Uh… I mean, no. You don’t need to…”

There’s a moment of silence you really wished was comfortable, but even you couldn’t pretend it was anything other than awkward.

“Are you doing okay?” Robin blurts, unable to resist talking if it meant she didn’t have to stand there with her own thoughts for much longer. “With the whole, you know, being a Vecna prophet?”

“A prophet, huh?” You smirk, raising your eyebrow. “No, I’m, uh… I’m okay? I think. Just… god.”

You flop yourself down on the cushioned seats of the Winnebago, biting your lip.

“I should have done what he asked.” You admit, meeting her eyes as she slowly lowers herself to sit beside you. “Nancy is probably, I don’t know, traumatised now because I keep thinking making everything a secret is gonna solve everything. Like it ever has.”

“You were doing what you thought would protect us. That’s not a bad thing.” She shrugs, staring down at her hands. “You shouldn’t even have to be dealing with all of this in the first place.”

“No one would have guessed an evil mind wizard who lives in an alternate dimension would somehow use me to spread his villainous plans.” You chuckle, trying to find the humour in what had to be the scariest experience of your entire life.

“No.” She breathes an airy laugh, biting her lip. “But I made you come here.”

“What?” You looked taken-aback, blinking at her. “No, Robin… I’m here because I want to be.”

“But you hate Hawkins.” She says, twisting in the seat to face you so she could express herself with her hands more. “And I- I don’t blame you. You lost your father… you left for all good reasons. I shouldn’t have shown up at your door demanding help, it… I didn’t realise how badly it would affect you, or-”

“Robin.” You place a hand over hers and she stills, words cut from her mouth by a single touch. “I want to be here. What happened a year ago doesn’t define my actions now. It never did.”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t leave because my dad died.” Your voice had gotten quieter, and Robin watched as your eyes started to glisten. “I… I left because Heather did.”

Robin frowns. Heather? Nancy mentioned a Heather back in the library after your first encounter, stating the two of you had known eachother since sophmore year. It had only been a passing comment. Robin only remembered the Heather with a plaque at the school, a soul lost to ‘the fire’. Flayed, Robin realises.

“Heather… Heather Holloway?” Robin asks and you nod, wiping away a tear that had slipped down your cheek. “Nancy told me you guys were friends.”

“Right. Friends.” You say almost bitterly, avoiding her eyes. Robin sends a quick glance to the door, making sure it was shut. She had a feeling this conversation wasn’t one you were going to be comfortable sharing with anyone else.

“Was Heather… was she more… more than a friend?” Robin’s mouth felt dry as she struggled with her words, hoping you didn’t return them with a laugh or disgust. And you didn’t. You only nodded, wrapping your arms around yourself.

“Back in the hospital, Starcourt… I had gone with Nancy and Jonathan to try and figure out what the hell was happening to Hawkins. Nancy told us it was related to Driscoll, that we had to hurry. I remember she wouldn’t tell me why she was so scared. But Jonathan let slip that they had been at Heather’s house…”

You take a deep breath, trying to relax your now tensing shoulders. “I kept asking them where Heather was, if they had seen her, if she was okay. I… I knew something was wrong. I hadn’t heard from her for a whole day, I even begged for their help when she went missing but they told me I was paranoid. But I was right in the end.”

“You were too late.” Robin whispers in realisation, and your glossy eyes find hers, nodding.

“Heather’s dad was at the hospital. So was mine.” You recall, twisting the corner of the cushion. “They were flayed, attacked us when we least expected it. My dad was telling me how Heather died, what they did. Right before he drove a knife into my shoulder.”

You gently push down the shoulder of your jumper to reveal a red scar, and Robin’s breath hitches.

“I don’t really remember much after that. Jonathan managed to get him off me. I think Nancy dragged me somewhere safe before a nurse found me.” You sigh, rolling your shoulder. “When I had woken up, my gran was the one to tell me about Starcourt, how my dad had died in the fire. And that Heather and her family had apparently burned in there too.”

“I’m so sorry.” Robin squeezes your hand, wiping away her own tears. She had wondered why Nancy and Steve seemed so hesitant about your story. Only now did she know it was because they couldn’t feel anything but guilt about how they treated you.

“Heather was my best friend, and more.” You smile before it broke, biting your lip, “I hated the thought of staying here. I was just so… angry. At the others. At myself. I had to leave.”

“I would have done the same.” Robin admits quietly. “To be honest… I don’t think I would have come back.”

“I wasn’t planning to.” You shrug, “But I needed to be here for my gran.”

“Does she…”

“Yeah. She knows about Heather and me.” You say, nodding. “I came out to my dad when I realised I liked Heather. He… he wasn’t happy about it. We fought a lot after that until my gran decided to take me in. She’s pretty great.”

“She sounds it.” Robin smiles.

“Being a girl into girls in a town like this…” You laugh, glancing out the window. “When I turned Steve down in sophmore year, I just remember the relentless torment from everyone around me. I didn’t even know I liked girls then, but I knew I was never going to say anything because if I refused a date with a guy and they all hated me for it, what would happen if I ended up dating a girl?”

“It was all so natural with Heather. She didn’t make me feel like a freak, or make me some kind of pariah. Because she understood me. And about a year after we became friends, after the whole Steve incident, we started dating.” You lean back into the seat, pouring your heart and soul to a girl you hoped you had met years ago. “Our dads worked together at the Post, and we had to keep it a secret. That’s why… that’s why everyone out there thought we were just friends. Because that’s what I told them.”

“No one out there would have judged you like that. Especially not Steve.” Robin insists and your face twists with uncertainty.

“How do you know?”

“Because he’s my best friend.”

You knew that. You saw it anytime they bickered or teased one another. You saw it when Steve went rushing over to her the second he sensed her posture drop in War Zone, whispering reassuring words to her on the field after.

Part of you had assumed when you first saw them together that there was no way they couldn’t be dating. So many factors could be against why they weren’t. There was only one you were nervously hoping for.

“That girl… the one at War Zone. You looked really upset…” You bite your lip, heart beating harder. “Is that because…”

“I know exactly how you feel.” She meets your eyes and you almost melt, suppressing a smile.

“Is that why you started acting weird when you found out Eddie was my ex?” You ask and she frowns, obviously curious about that. “I dated him because I thought he was cool, and nice. We broke up because I realised I was gay.”

“Oh.” She laughs, feeling incredibly stupid. “God, I was so sure- I literally hate myself right now.”

“So… does that mean… if you liked that girl…” You struggle to find the words, scrambling your mind with endless possibilities to just ask the question.

“I like you.” Robin finally says in a whisper and you smile.

“I like you, too.”

Her eyes flicker to your lips for just a moment, until she catches something, a red trail starting to stain your upper lip.

It all came crashing down after that.

“Y/n?!”

Steve must have heard her screaming because when he comes rushing in, your eyes are already rolled back, Robin’s hands holding onto your shoulders.

You weren’t a prophet after all.

You were a warning.

Chapter Eight: Stealing Hearts, Broken Souls ->

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writingmeraki · 1 year

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beware of the monsters in the dark !

a park sunghoon drabble !

genre : fluff! just fluffy fluff <3

pairing : sunghoon x gn!reader, established relationship! secret relationship!

warnings : none other than kissing and cussing. let me know if I missed anything though !

author's note : okay so first foremost, hi everyone, it's been AGESS I know i promise I'm alive, just busy with uni that started last week and it's has been tiring but hopefully when I'm adjusted to it morez I'll be able to get more time to write so don't worry I haven't left writing <3 this was a very random drabble idea I got one time when the lights went off at my place hehe, it has been sitting in my drafts for so long so I thought why not finally free it <3 honestly idk I might kinda love this but I hope I don't end up hating it 💀 this one is for you anonnie who requested anything Sunghoon :D I hope you like it and let me know what you think of this !

word count : 2.2k

based on this request !

Your heart felt full as you looked around the room full of your favorite people.

Best friend since you could basically speak, Kim Sunoo had a huge grin on his face. His happiness is visible in his entire form, his eyes forming crescents and hands over his mouth to stifle his giggles.

Three of your other close friends, Heeseung,Jake and Jay. One's you made during your insufferable chemistry class when you were paired up as partners with Jay yet instead of getting one friend, you ended up with three somehow as if coming in like a package.

Then came Niki and Jungwon, your juniors who were also a part of your dance club. They were like your younger brothers who irritated you and you'd basically adopted them.

After everyone, of course you left the best for last, because not only was he your favorite but he was very special to you as well.

Park Sunghoon.

Your boyfriend of around ten months now.

He sat beside you, laughing along at something Niki said, eyes averting from his to yours for a brief moment, making sure not to stare for too long or it'd become suspicious.

Your fingers brushed against his briefly, feeling a sense of want to just interwine your hands but you knew you couldn't.

Not yet at least.

You see,yes the both of you were dating but, it wasn't something that was public.

You were in a secret relationship and Sunghoon definitely played the role of being your best friend who you made when you got lost in the library.

Well technically, it did start out as that, you getting lost in the library and Sunghoon then finding you and guiding you. But let's just say after that day, you both departed with butterflies and something that would soon blossom into what it was now.

Choosing to keep it private was tough. Especially from your actual best friend, Sunoo but you chose to keep it because well it's better to keep these things private isn't it?

"You're zoning out again Y/N come on, you have to pick between truth or dare!"

Exclaimed Jungwon in an enthusiastic voice which made you snap out of your thoughts.

You cleared your throat before you answered,

"Uh…I'll pick dare?"

You immediately regretted your decision, like you mostly do with your life decisions, when you noticed the mischievous expression on Niki's face.

"Well well well we finally caught them now!" He told in a sort of evil like tone as if he was able to trap you in his antics.

Rolling your eyes at his words, you sighed and clicked your tongue,

"Give me the dare already." You said, almost in a tired voice because you knew he'd give something ridiculous.

"Okay so, I dare you to…" Before Niki could finish his sentence, suddenly everything went black.

Not because you fainted though.

But because the lights went off.

"Not again!"

"What the fuck-"

"JAKE THERE'S A CHILD-"

"I'm not a kid though !?"

You could tell who said what which made you snort, so as calmly as you could, you said

"Well it looks like the power went off."

"Oh really? How ever could we have noticed so?" Said the voice beside you in an overexaggerated tone which made you hit his arm.

Sunghoon groaned at your violent behaviour, rubbing his arm,

"Ow! For a tiny human, you definitely know how to hit!"

"Okay wait guys I'll go with Jay and we'll try to figure out why the power went off again,likely because of overload or something like last time." Heeseung spoke up as he turned on his phone flashlight.

The flashlight engulfed a small section which lit up Heeseung's face and for a moment, he looked like a horror movie character.

"Jumpscare!" Niki screamed loudly which made you chuckle again, Jungwon hitting him now because he seemed to have screamed right in his ear.

"Can you turn down your volume or something?! You'll literally burst my ears!"

Jungwon whined at Niki as Heeseung rolled his eyes, already tired of their antics.

Jay got up and moved beside Heeseung carefully, making sure not to trip over anything.

"So we'll be back in a few, hopefully the lights will work, Jake you're responsible for all of them!" Heeseung said as he turned around,pointing his flashlight down the hall, which honestly seemed creepier in the dark.

"We're not kids that need babysitters!" You said as you scoffed at what Heeseung said, which you did feel a little offended by.

"He's not wrong though." Jake coughed out as you glared at him through the dark.

It was dark once again, choosing not to turn on unnecessary flashlights which would then drain your batteries.

"Wait, we'll go look for candles so at least something would be visible, be right back!"

Sunoo and Jake got up and made their way towards the kitchen which was a little further away.

"Hoon you take care of them now!"

"Hey what did I say!-"

"Yeah okay." Sunghoon replied to which you directed your anger towards him, slightly pouting at him for not taking your side.

Sunoo and Niki seemed to be in their own world as they argued on and you could hear them in the dark but chose not to say anything.

"You know, I have an idea." Sunghoon moved closer to you, using the darkness as a benefit and now pulling you into his side.

He spoke in a light tone, making sure to whisper as to not alert the other two who seemed to be in their own world arguing about some show as far as you could remember listening to.

"How about you repay for your forgiveness by kissing me right now?" His low voice sent shivers down your spine as he whispered in your ears.

"Forgiveness? What did I do that I need your forgiveness huh?" You whispered back as you moved your hand up to feel where his face would be.

Poking around before he held your hand that was now holding his cheek, he said,

"Well you did kind of hit me pretty hard back there."

"Oh please, you deserved it." You giggled as you rubbed circles on his cheek with your thumb as you sat before him your legs folded beneath you.

His were sprawled wide open which gave you the space to move between then and closer to him.

One hand resting in his shoulder, you moved your head closer to his,

"But you're lucky I love you."

You pressed your lips against his soft ones and as if it were second nature, he responded without hesitation.

His hands moved to your waist and his thumbs rubbed on the hip bones, as you squeezed his shoulder and moved one hand across his hair.

"Guys, you still awake?" Came a voice across you.

You quickly pulled away in shock, completely forgetting you weren't alone and thanked fate that they weren't able to tell how you'd just have a makeout session with your supposed best friend.

Sunghoon cleared his throat, making sure you didn't accidentally fall before he answered.

"Uh yeah haha, we got tired, I mean I got kinda tired so I dozed off and well Y/N is uh…"

"Oh I was just resting my eyes too! The um dark atmosphere is making me feel sleepy?" You said questionably trying not to sound suspicious.

Lucky for you both, they couldn't see you so they didn't say more and actually got convinced by your stupid excuses.

Being a bit far from you, they also couldn't hear the deep breaths you took when you separated which would give away what you'd been doing.

Suddenly before you could say anything or anyone could say anything, the lights came on.

"Oh wow! That actually feels like hell-"

"Oh my Gosh!! Finally!"

You had to blink to adjust your eyes to the new evasion of the sudden brightness.

Before you could speak, you turned to Sunghoon to see him when you noticed something.

MY LIPSTICK! SHIT!

Even if in the dark, no one would be able to tell whether you kissed him or not, in the light, the proof was quite visible to anyone with great eyes.

The same shade of lipstick now smudged all over his lips as yours was too destroyed. His hair being disheveled being a bonus proof.

Unfortunately for you, you weren't the only ones there and before you could even point it out, someone else did it for you.

"Uh hyung were you trying to apply lipstick in the dark in your sleep or something-"

Niki spoke up innocently which made a confused Jungwon look at what Niki was observing as he was previously looking at the kitchen down the hall to see when Jake and Sunoo would be back now that there was no need for candles.

He blinked once and he blinked twice. His gaze averted to yours who was already looking away while gulping as he zoned in on your lips and once again looked back at his hyung.

Wait.

His eyes widened in realization and his jaw dropped quite literally.

"Niki that's not!" Interruptions were always the worst but they seemed even worse when you saw all four of the ones who had gone walk in at comically the same time.

"Finally we got the lights working again!"

"Yeah right that's because of me hyung who did all the hard work."

"We couldn't find the candles but now we don't even need them!"

"Obviously genius."

Jay rolled his eyes as he looked at Jungwon who seemed to be in a sort of comical expression of shock which made him snort.

He followed his gaze as he now looked at a slightly horrified Sunghoon who was looking at you.

You just blinked back at him, not sure what to say or do because obviously one person was already able to catch on to what was going on, or what had happened in the dark.

Now making that three as Niki who seemed to remain in oblivion until he saw the same shade on your lips.

And the cherry on top of this disastrous sundae was Jay figuring it out, Jay who couldn't for the love of all things beautiful, shut his mouth.

"Did you two fucking kiss?!"

"Language!" Heeseung said before anything and once he realized what Jay had said, he too looked at the both of you now.

Your head snapped towards Jay as you looked at him sheepishly.

Jake and Sunoo, who were once arguing, looked at the both of you and suddenly it felt like everything was already over.

"No! What-"

Sunghoon fake scoffed as he blew a raspberry.

"Uh…yes?"

You gulped as you fiddled with your hands, seeing no point in lying as you looked back at Sunghoon who'd spoken the opposite.

He sighed as he just nodded,

"Yeah we did."

There was a pause after his agreement before Jake loudly exclaimed,

"Alright give me my 100 bucks! Jay and Hee pay up!"

Groaning Jay spoke up,

"I am telling you I won't be giving you a penny because I never bet they were in a relationship or not, it was already obvious they were!'

"Hey now come on, sometimes we make decisions…" Heeseung smiled almost sheepishly.

"Gross the both of you were infront of us!!"

Niki said disgusted as he judged the both of you.

"Oh thank gosh I haven't had to see them kiss or else I'd actually pour bleach in my eyes." Jungwon sighed in relief as he too then agreed with Niki.

Sunghoon and you looked at each other, quite obviously confused as to why no one seemed to be mad about not telling them sooner.

Lucky for you, Sunoo seemed to have read your mind and replied,

"Oh don't worry, we aren't mad or anything if that's what you're worried about, it's your relationship, you can reveal it to us whenever but just saying you were both pretty obvious from the get go! And oh! These three had bet on it too!"

"I never was involved!" Jay exclaimed in between and then went back to arguing his way out of Jake's gaslighting.

"You all knew?" Sunghoon asked, still stunned at how…normal everyone was behaving.

"Please, getting them gifts and flowers, them wearing your clothes and even more gross coupley stuff wasn't obvious enough then call us stupid." Sunoo told him and he sighed,

"Oh these three are giving me a headache, I need something to drink, be right back and of course congratulations on your reveal!" He said happily as he turned around to head back to the kitchen.

You paused and looked back at Sunghoon who seemed to do the same.

"It was that easy huh?" He was stunned and the look on his face only made it more hilarious,so honestly you couldn't help it.

Bursting out in giggles, you felt relieved at how your relationship was revealed, wondering if you should have done it sooner or ever even hid it.

At your giggles, Sunghoon soon seemed to smile as he shook his head, hearing the argument going on in the room with Niki and Jungwon both now poking into the argument.

You didn't just feel your heart being full now, it felt like you had a weight lifted off your shoulders and looking back at Sunghoon, you were more than grateful for whatever that happened.

And wait.

It seemed that the shade of lipstick suited him more now, maybe you should properly apply it on his lips again, of course using your favourite method which was placing your lips on his, like always.

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri.do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

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ssinboo · 2 years

Text

As it was

summary: There’s nothing that nourishes the ego more than envious looks from old classmates. At a ten-year class reunion, Seungkwan is looking forward to enact his long-term revenge plan. When it all comes crashing down, you're helping him pick himself up the only way you know how.

You and Seungkwan are occasional friends with benefits

pairing: fwb!Seungkwan x Reader, they bicker a lot but don't hate each other enough to call it enemies lol

word count: 5.4k (20~ minute read)

warnings: toxic couple, unprotected sex, unresolved feelings, alcohol, sex in a public place, oral (f rec.)

a/n: happy new year and happy valentine's day! I'm immensely thankful for the past reception of my fics <3 thank you so much! I do have a couple ideas for a sequel on this, which makes me insanely excited <3 I hope you like it ^_^

There’s nothing that nourishes the ego more than envious looks from old classmates. The same eyes that underestimated now quietly calculate the overpriced budget of designer clothes.

Ten-year high-school reunion? That’s just what Seungkwan needed to flaunt his new prime spot as a host of "Bad Clue." He’s certain no person alive in this century hadn’t heard of him and his many accomplishments, but it felt good to rub it in.

“Oh, Seungkwan? I saw you on TV, do you think you could sign this for me?”

It’s a phrase he’s heard all night as his old high-school mates pour into the cramped barbecue restaurant. Not many dare to converse besides the cheeky favour. “Do you think you could get my resume in?”

Why did he even come?

Ah, that’s right. His first love, Lee Sohee.

She’d completely abhorred his very existence, but now, no one could. He’d make his comeback and completely captivate her heart only to get his revenge by giving her a taste of her own medicine.

“Did your injections go wrong? you can’t smile.”

The sound of your voice makes Seungkwan cringe. He scoots away when you plop down on one of the free seats to his side.

“Why are you here?” He spits back, watching you struggle to open the Soju bottle.

“You looked miserable,” You flash him a mischievous smile.

Your relationship was complicated, to put it kindly. Living in a small town, Seungkwan had known you his entire life. You were classmates throughout all of school and you haunted your way around him all through university, as well.

He said everything he knew about you had been against his wishes. And part of it was true, with how much time you inevitably spent together, you became closer than planned.

It was during his first year of uni when someone implied he was unpopular with girls and he panicked. Saying ‘of course not!’ He even had a girlfriend; You, the first girl that came to his stupid drunk mind.

Oh, you had a field day with that one. It was easy using it as blackmail material, getting a ride anywhere, takeout, and help with your homework. Seungkwan practically lived at your place, cleaning up and making you breakfast every day. University was a breeze for you after he dug his own grave.

“Seeing your face made me miserable.”

You scoff.

Seungkwan mumbles some curses under his breath and snatches the bottle away from your hand, opening it with ease. You cheekily hold your cup up.

A couple months into the pretend relationship, you decided to try it out for real. Not that anything changed except for the physical part, it was a convenient relationship until the very end, with none of that lovey-dovey bullshit. You parted ways when Seungkwan got into one of the many companies he auditioned for and left for the capital.

Motherfucker never even bothered breaking up with you.

You had a lot of fun being dramatic in front of his mother and getting him in trouble for that one, too.

“How long you in town for?” You raise your shot glass toward his with a satisfying ‘clink’ before downing the liquid in one go.

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning,” He replies curtly, finishing his own shot.

“Wow,” You hiss at the burning in your throat, shooing it away with a shake of your head. “Forgotten your roots, already?”

He scoffs, “I have to work, dumbass.”

“When’s your flight?”

“Eight hours.”

Widening your eyes, you can only stare at him in disbelief, “Why are you here? You should be fuckin’ sleepin’ or somethin’.”

“Not yet.”

And you’re hit with the stupid epiphany over the reason Seungkwan is so damn intent on watching the door.

“Oh my God, Kwannie,” You groan, dramatically flailing in your chair at that fact. It’s been a decade already, he’s like a superstar, why is he so hung up on this?! “Just… Stop! This is getting sad!”

“Mind your business.” He hisses, pouring himself another shot to help cope with your presence. That’s what he tells himself, it’s totally your cringey voice and not the anxious blackhole that has set in the pit of his stomach.

“I’m serious, why are you in love with her?” You lean closer, and your concerned gaze burns him.

“I’m not! This isn’t love! This is revenge!”

You sigh, patting his shoulder, “I know, buddy, whatever you tell yourself.”

Seungkwan lets out a frustrated groan, “Why can’t you just— Mind your business?” He shoves your pity pats away.

Turning around, you stand up. “Oi! DK!” You yell, setting Seungkwan in complete panic mode.

“No! No! No!” Seungkwan tries to shut you up by placing his hand over your mouth but it’s too late, you’ve caught the attention of the loud drunk.

“Aye! My gorgeous! You called?!” Seokmin stumbles toward where you sit.

Seungkwan gives up with a frustrated sigh and plops back on his chair, taking you down with him.

Seokmin and Sohee were polar opposites, she was popular and elegant. Every guy wanted to date her while every girl wanted to be her. She excelled in all classes and was loved by faculty and student body alike, she was student council president and never let anyone forget that. While Seokmin was a loudmouth, always making people laugh, not too long into his second year of high school, his teachers gave up on making any information go into that thick skull of his. He compensated his single-digit IQ with the kindest heart possible in a human male.

“Where’s our princess Sohee?” You giggle, leaning over Seungkwan’s shoulder to face Seokmin.

“Ah! My beautiful, precious, gorgeous noona!” He announces with a bright smile. You can’t help but laugh at his intoxicated antics. “She said she’d pick up the invitations after work, she’ll stop by later.”

“Invitations for what?!” Seungkwan whips his head around. You’re the only one that notices his jaw trembling.

The word doesn’t take a genius to know its many connotations; Especially the only one that made sense in the context.

“AH!” Seokmin claps his hands. “YOU DON’T KNOW!” He laughs, only building up suspense. “Sohee is getting married.”

Ah… He screwed up.

All of a sudden, there’s no fucking reason for all this. The carpet has been swept from under his feet without a moment’s notice. Everything has built up to this moment and for what? Sohee is getting married and didn’t even bother to send a message.

She wouldn’t care.

He could stand before her, wave his shiny accessories, flaunt his status and she would be happily married.

Everything so far wouldn’t mean anything if he didn’t get his fucking revenge.

You watch as Seungkwan clenches his fists under the table, biting into his lips. Seokmin, of course, doesn’t notice the way the news was taken and has entered a monologue on how happy his older sister is with the matrimony.

Before you can call his name, Seungkwan bolts from his seat, leaving you and his belongings behind.

“He has a flight to catch soon! Thanks, DK!” You yell, hastily gathering up your bag and his coat and stumbling your way out of the restaurant to follow Seungkwan.

“Kwannie! Kwan! Stop!”

He pays you no mind, stomping his way toward his expensive rental and you quicken your pace, high heels loudly clacking against the asphalt.

“Seungkwan! STOP!” You snatch the keys away from his hand and shove your body between him and the door. “Are you fucking crazy?! You’re not driving.”

That seems to wake him up from his anger-induced trance, but now that you’re close, you seem like the perfect target to channel his rage.

“Get out of my way.” He hisses, eyes glazed in deep-rooted hatred that burns its way through his veins, its flames feeding on the very oxygen he inhales in shallow breaths.

You cross your arms, reciprocating his heated stare.

Seungkwan breathes in, ramming his fist against the doorframe only an inch or two away from your face. You’re not proud to say how hard you flinched.

“Fine, I’ll walk.” With a sigh, he just leaves you there.

“At least take your fucking jacket.” You jog toward him, juggling both your coats as you try to swing your bag over your shoulder, “What if you get sick? Your manager will kill you—“

Seungkwan turns around and snatches his expensive item from your hands, returning to his fast pace afterwards.

You struggle to keep up in your platform high-heels, so you shrug them off and run. Your tights will only protect your feet for so many steps but you’re too intoxicated to think that far.

He sighs at your unbothered smile and quickens his step. His legs might be long and slender, but you have quite the stamina and willingness to be a menace.

“Where are you staying?” You ask, hoping there would be a cab available downtown to escort your angry friend.

“Mind your business.”

You click your tongue.

Gathering up your courage, you blurt it out:

“I thought you knew.”

Seungkwan halts and turns around just in time for you to crash into his chest. His lungs heave with curt breaths, and he swallows hard, eyes studying your face for a sign of jest. There isn’t any.

“You knew? You knew?!" His fingers dig deep into your shoulders as he shakes your body, jaw tight in anger.

Sohee wasn’t just a pretty girl, I mean, she was– is, gorgeous. But that was never the reason young and impressionable Seungkwan fell for her, no. He was a chubby-cheeked, awkward boy who blushed at just about anything, and she was a goddess, descending from heaven to help him gather his scattered books back into his hand-me-down backpack. And he held this crush, letting it root deep into his teenage heart and blossom into first love. He talked about her all the time, his every waking thought plagued by Sohee, you remember how angry he got whenever one of his sisters teased him about it.

Entering High-school, he gathered up his courage and on the last day of school, he confessed.

And she had this look on her face, of utter and total disgust. As if he wasn’t even worthy of the oxygen he consumed. He was a mere bug that dared to enter her sight. She never uttered a word, but she didn’t have to; As her friends threw insults, crushing his weakened spirit, Sohee laughed.

The following year, he’d become someone totally different.

You can’t find it in your heart to mind his reaction, you actually understand it and you feel nothing but sorry, “I mean… She wouldn’t shut up about it. The whole town knows, I thought your mum had told you.”

“She didn’t.”

He lets go of you with a push and you stumble slightly.

You adjust your bag strap, “I figured…”

It seems the news finally settle into the pit of his stomach as Seungkwan runs his fingers through his perfectly styled hair with a heavy sigh. It crunches slightly under the weight of his fingers.

He’s a thirty-year-old man crouched down in the middle of a deserted road in his minuscule hometown, grieving his ten-year-old plan of getting revenge on his first love. God, the paparazzi would have his ass had he been in Seoul.

But in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, the only audience is you; And despite your track record, you show empathy, like a real, feeling, breathing, human being and not a folklore swamp witch that ate children for breakfast.

“Come on,” You announce, jogging up to grab his wrist and drag him before he can protest.

The school was very well-located. Standing strong in the very middle of town, its pebbled paths are still the same decade after decade.

The trees stand strong, far older than either of you and certainly outlive you. Its leaves are a bright shade of green this time of year, lively and healthy. God, you skipped so many classes under that shady spot behind the gym.

When you stop at the side gate, Seungkwan is horrified.

“You’re not planning to break in, are you?”

You roll your eyes, digging around in your purse for your crowded keychain. It’s dangling with many keys, but they are outnumbered by the sheer amount of keychains you have. Childish and colourful they make all sorts of noises as you look for the right key. When you unlock the gate, his surprise is visible for almost an entire minute.

“I keep forgetting you’re someone with a job, given how nosy you are.”

His dig goes ignored as you pick your heels back up and head in without further notice. Seungkwan had no choice but to follow lest he wanted to stand on a deserted road in the middle of the night with nowhere to go.

It’s a weird feeling coming back to your old high school after so long. The walls feel all too familiar at the same time they feel foreign. Scattered memories find their way into your thoughts as you navigate the ambience. Every corner holds a moment that would change you forever, that shaped you into the person you are. And yet, the decor has not changed, despite how much you have.

“I’ll give you an exclusive tour through our lounge, how about that?”

You stretch your arms in a flashy way, pushing open the door labelled as “Teacher’s Lounge”.

Becoming a middle school teacher was far from being your dream since childhood. It was something you had never thought of, but it felt natural once you received a recommendation from the guidance counsellor. Seungkwan bullied you over your sad, boring, life and how you were doomed to live in the middle of nowhere until you are wrinkly and old.

In the lounge, there are desks neatly arranged in the middle as well as a sofa in the corner with a fridge and a microwave. The decoration is minimal, a framed prize of excellence that’s almost three or four decades old, but it’s the only one you have to display.

You launch your heels and bag toward the couch and bee-line for the fridge. All while Seungkwan feels out of place in such a saintly space for teachers, the child in him feels naughty for entering the lounge without being invited by a grown-up. (You don’t count.)

Just behind the leftovers, in a box labelled “Frozen peas" was your communal stash of booze. Of course, no one was drinking on the job, but sometimes when you and your co-workers stayed back way past the sunset, you’d crack open a bottle to share.

“Is that allowed?!” Seungkwan widens his eyes at the familiar green bottles.

“It’s allowed as long as you mind your damn business,” You hiss, comfortably dropping into the battered old couch and patting the seat next to yours.

Giving up, Seungkwan cracks open his bottle and plops down next to you.

With a mischievous smile, you stretch your legs over his, laying down by the couch arm. He doesn’t even bat an eye, not as much as a side-eye or grumble. God, he must feel like shit.

“What’s the plan for now?” You ask.

Seungkwan sighs, taking a long sip.

“I don’t know… It’s meaningless.”

“There’s still plenty of ways of making her miserable,” You announce, taking a sip before announcing your marvellous idea. “Oh, you could crash her wedding!”

He gives you a half-hearted laugh, it eases the anxiety that looms in your stomach.

“And go to jail? Lose my career?” Shit, he has a point. You hate when Seungkwan has a point. “No, thanks.”

You’re deep in thought, mulling over ways to obliterate Sohee’s happiness in the cruellest form possible when he speaks up.

“I’m pathetic.”

There are no other words the egomaniac, arrogant Boo Seungkwan could say that would break your heart. The atmosphere feels wrong, having those words dissipate into the air, become a reality as soon as he speaks them out loud.

“No. No, you’re not” You lean forward, a light hand coming to touch his shoulder.

You wish you had better words, you wish you could be normal for a second and be serious about your emotions without roundabout ways of making the conversation lighthearted lest you actually acknowledge how much he means to you.

“Yes, I am. I’m almost thirty and I’m still fucking hung up on her—I mean, is that pathetic or what?

“Kwannie, shut the fuck up, you’re our national treasure. Everyone we went to school with WISHES they were in the place you are right now.”

He shakes his head, but you don’t allow yourself to be interrupted.

“Didn’t you see how everyone looked at you tonight? You stole the spotlight from the moment you walked in. You have everything you worked for.” Seungkwan is quiet, biting on his lower lip. He appreciates your words and it’s implied by the small pat he gives to your thigh.

You’ve got the bottle attached to your lips as you toe off your ripped tights, peeling them off your tired legs. No saving this pair, too bad, they were brand new. Warm alcohol buzzing down his throat, Seungkwan is almost hypnotised by the sight of your creamy thighs peeking from under your skirt as you struggle with the fabric.

“I could fuck her husband,” You joke, throwing the useless tights across the room and barely missing the trash can.

“No. No, you can’t,” His tone is so overly-serious you just can’t help but elaborate.

“That would ruin her wedding— Or do you mean I couldn’t seduce him? I mean have you looked at me? I could totally bag that snarky city boy,” You’re so engulfed in your argument, pulling your waistband over your feet that you don’t see Seungkwan leaning over to pull you into his lap.

“No, I mean. I won’t let you,” He stares deeply into your soul, hot breath hitting your lips, “You’re not allowed to fuck him.”

It’s the booze. It has to be.

I mean, why else would you, out of everyone, find this somewhat possessive behaviour so fucking hot?

Maybe it’s just how out of character it feels. Seungkwan always treated sex, with you at least, as such a mundane activity.

“wow. Sexist much?” You laugh awkwardly, wrapping your hands around his neck.

He smirks, “What? Like it doesn’t make your pussy wet?”

Your breath hitches and your mouth feels dry, dry and lonely, especially when his lips look so soft and rosy covered in his high-end tinted lip balm. You’d like to think it’s the alcohol clouding your judgement and that you are not that desperate for him in your other encounters.

Hypnotised by his lips, you’re melting into his body, finding your place on his lap. Every slight move of your hips his thighs tense up, your skirt has ridden far enough for your clothed core to touch his bulge, a shameful wet patch finding its way on the fabric.

“Say it again,” You ask and it’s a breathless plea that tickles his nose with lustful intent. Seungkwan smiles, eyes locked on the way you bite at your lower lips, so eagerly awaiting him.

“I won’t let you, you will not leave my sight,” He says, his adam’s apple bobs up and down in a dry swallow, “You can’t fuck anyone else.”

And you find his lips, consumed by your want. Mouth crashing on his with the weight of burnout, alcohol and horniness buzzing through your veins; Only heightened by how long it’s been since your last rendezvous.

Seungkwan holds your waist tight, fingers burying into your skin, leaving his mark everywhere they touch. He pulls you into his chest, impossibly close and even then, it’s not enough.

He groans into your mouth and you greedily swallow every sound he makes, eager to devour everything he will let you have, you will wait on hand for every drop of attention if you have to.

Arms secured around your hips, Seungkwan leans back. You’re still glued to his lips, chest flushed with his; Hips mindlessly grinding against his slacks, every bit of friction a blessing bestowed on his strained erection.

“Come up–” He says, lessening his grip on your waist.

“Wha… What–” You’re panting against his lips, breath tickling sensitive skin making him regret parting the kiss.

“Ride my face–” Oh.

Well, he didn’t have to say it twice.

Blood is rushing to your lower bits so fast you almost feel lightheaded, you want nothing but to crush his head between your thighs until he is out of breath and moaning nothing but your name.

He licks a long strip, moaning against your cunt at the intoxicating taste. Unconsciously, you’re thrusting your hips at his tongue, spreading your slick around his face.

Every time felt like the first when he tasted you on his tongue, when you dripped onto him, melted into his lips so willingly. When you moaned his name and chased your high, using him as you wished.

His nose bumps against your clit, making your body flinch instantly at the friction. Seungkwan chuckles against your cunt, tongue focused on prodding at your expectant hole. You gulp, reaching your hand to grab fistfuls of his hair, it crunches softly under your fingers, the hair pomade smells of tangerine.

Fingers digging into your flesh, he leaves crescent moons tattooed into your skin; part of you wishes they would last, constant reminders of him and every emotion that follows, you wish this moon cycle ended in something other than being left on read.

But at this moment, as Seungkwan eats your pussy like a starved man, bringing your hips closer and closer as if you were the very oxygen in his lungs, you can pretend.

With a soft mewl of his name, you glide your pussy along his open tongue, lewd wet noises filling your ears with sinful thoughts. His eyes are glazed with lust, staring up at you to capture every breath you take to drink your every moan with senseless intent.

“Pull my hair—“ he whines against your thighs, his voice is a hoarse whisper that tickles your sensitive skin, “Pretend you’re my teacher— Call me a bad boy,” Nipping at your skin, Seungkwan stares expectedly into your eyes.

God forbid you ever felt anything but maternal love for any of your snotty students, but Seungkwan words go straight to your pussy like a slap to your face. And you’re crushing his head between your thighs with such strength it has left the perfect imprint of your legs on his cheeks.

“You are such a weirdo–” You reply, absolutely floored by his request and even more by how willing you are to comply with any of his wishes.

Seungkwan whimpers, biting at your skin. Every word that dances in malice travel through his burning body, eliciting goosebumps over every inch of skin.

“Stop being such a brat and eat my pussy,” You command. The power feels dizzying, dripping from your lips with an unfamiliar venom.

“Fuck–” He curses before diving back in.

His thumb finds your clit, toying with the sensitive nerve at a slow pace even as his tongue absolutely demolishes your hole. You whine, tightening your grip around the locks of his hair.

The vibrations coming from his soft moans are going straight into your core, travelling along your bloodstream, rushing to your brain with the addicting dopamine.

“You– You’ll be a good boy, huh?” You ask, unsure of how to phrase it, if it will please him, domination feels unfamiliar on your tongue, “Be a– Fuck! Be a good boy and make me cum…?”

He nods fervently against your pussy, nose tickling your clitoris with the perfect amount of pressure to make the knot in your belly tighten.

His name falls from your lips as you cum, keeling over with a strained moan, legs convulsing from sheer pleasure.

Seungkwan taps your thigh when he can’t breathe and you pry yourself off his face, stumbling over your numb legs. A string connects your slick to his lips and you almost moan at the very sight.

“Fuck– That was hot. You’re so fucking hot–” He smirks, pulling you flush to his chest, crashing his wet lips against yours and you can taste yourself on him.

And you taste of unrequited love.

His hands are on your body so caringly, caressing every inch of exposed skin and exposing more on his way. You part the kiss to urge him to remove the tee shirt he wears and he practically destroys your pretty button-up with how roughly he tears it apart.

You whine at the fact and he shushes you with soft promises of getting you something prettier.

Your chest feels so soft against his, heartbeats matching in ardent craving, longing for the next minutes you will spend in each other’s arms.

When your hands find his perfectly ironed slacks, you can feel the strained bulge and the very obvious wet spot that stains the dark navy fabric. Seungkwan groans, flinching away from your touch as much as his brain yells at him to chase your hand.

“Fuck– I need your pussy— I’m gonna fuckin’ die–” He groans, pulling your hands away before he can waste any of his cum on your hands. He can’t do it today, he needs to be inside, to claim and conquer, to feel part of something.

Biting your lips at his words, you lay back, spreading your legs willingly. God, Seungkwan almost cums at the sight.

You’re looking up at him with such a lewd glaze painting your doe eyes, your own slick coating your lips above smeared lipstick. Chest heaving, your tits heaving up and down with every bated breath.

He pries open his belt and lowers his trousers just enough to free his throbbing erection. You whine at the sight, it stands red and angry, oozing precum and so ready to plough you into tomorrow.

Seungkwan didn’t wear condoms with you very often, only when he was fresh off a relationship and didn’t have time to get tested before your meetings. The last time you’d met, he had just broken up with a rookie idol, a petite thing with big dreams and pretty eyes.

He’d fucked his frustration into your hips that night, not a word about how his feelings. The next morning, he was back to normal.

But tonight, he was going to fill you up; God, it had been too long since he felt your walls clamping around his cock with such enthusiasm.

You adjust yourself over the pillow and watch as Seungkwan rubs himself over your slit, collecting as much lubrication as possible. Hissing, you hurry him up. He slightly thumbs at your hole, stretching it.

“Just fucking do it already–!”

He slaps your clit, “Shut up.”

Crossing your arms, you look away in resentment. Seungkwan chuckles at the sight of your pouty lips.

“Stop sulking, yeah?” He leans forward, whispering against your lips, “I’ll fuck you nice and good once you’re ready,” His kisses are gentle against your swollen lips, collecting more of your cheap red lipstick that stains more than you’d wish.

Deciding you’re somewhat ready, but mostly giving in to the extreme horniness that burns through his bloodstream, Seungkwan slowly thrusts into your tight hole.

“H-Holy shit–” He chokes, leaning forward to bury his reddened face into your neck. “How are you so fucking tight? No matter how many times I fuck you–”

He bottoms out, kissing the tip of your cervix, filling up the hole that sits at the bottom of your heart with plain arousal.

Your brain oozes dopamine at the stretch, tearing you apart to scramble your insides and batter your heart, only to put you back together with a single soft smile.

“Fuckin’ Move–” You managed to gasp, wrapping your arms around his neck, bringing his chest flush to yours.

Seungkwan half-worries he might go too harsh, that you’re not ready by how tight you still are; But you’re thrusting your hips against his, mewling sweet, tempting pleas against his ear.

So he cedes to your wishes, hips pistoning into yours with relentless desire. Your pussy squelches lewdly around his cock, a ring of arousal pooling around the base. He groans at the sight.

And you’re squirming under him, his name dripping from your tongue in a harmonic prayer.

Between thrusts, he finds your lips with the intent to drink your every moan, every syllable of his name that leaves your lips in a breathy moan.

Hands tight on your hips, Seungkwan lifts your leg to wrap around his waist, allowing him more leverage to plough your pussy as he wishes, to ravage you in every way. Stake his claim in the most primal way possible.

The new angle allows him to caress your sensitive spot with every merciless shove of his dick into your hole. The sofa creaks under the weight of you, and you’re silently praying it doesn’t break because you will flee the country before you explain to the principal why the lounge couch is broken.

Tears leak from your glazed eyes, you bury your face into his hair, smelling the citric hair gel, the woody cologne he created in a collab with an indie brand a couple years back.

Seungkwan nips at your neck, biting at your skin, trying his damndest to hold back the groans that want to escape, the praise that boils over on his tongue at how well you take him, on how you were made for him. Words that feel heavy, that elicit tears from your eyes and make you clench around him too hard.

“Come on, come on–” He urges, hand reaching to rub at your clit. Knowing fully he won’t last long.

“Fuck– M’ close!” You whine, arching your back, handing yourself on a plater, pliant and willing.

When you come, you’re silent, pulling at his hair with breathy gasps. Your walls convulse around him, milking his cock for all he’s worth, coaxing his own orgasm.

Seungkwan comes undone in hot spurts, painting you white with his cum, collapsing against your chest with a faint whisper of your name.

Still inside, he wraps his arms around your waist, peppering soft kisses along your collarbone.

He is only loving in the aftermath when the room smells of sex.

You wake up not too long after, and Seungkwan snores softly on your chest, drooling over your sweaty skin. You feel anything but sexy, all clammy and gross. And he’s gone soft and you can feel the cum leaking over your thighs.

With a sigh, you grab a pillow from the floor, shoving it under his head so you can hopefully leave without waking the beast. Luckily, you’re out of his embrace.

Plucking your clothes from the floor, you realise only one of the buttons remains on your blouse. Cursing Seungkwan in your head, you wear it anyway, having nothing better. You pull the skirt down after wiping away the fluids from your skin.

Seungkwan groans, mouth dry and arms numb, he sits up.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” You ask, leaning over the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

“What time is it?” His voice is hoarse, it tickles your tummy with the tempting domesticity.

“Just past two. When’s your flight?”

“At six,” He huffs, leaning against his knees.

You offer him some water, which he gladly accepts.

The silence isn’t awkward, it’s a comfortable blanket of omission that hides in its thread the unresolved feelings that snowball over decades.

“Do you miss it?” You ask, eyes focused on the night scenery outside the window, not nearly courageous enough to stare at him.

“What?”

“Our school years.”

“No fucking way. They sucked,” He laughs.

You chuckle.

“Didn’t you have fun? We used to go over to Chan’s after school and make his life a living hell.”

Seungkwan laughs at the nostalgic memory.

Lee Chan was the brother of an upperclassman and you became friends by chance. He was absolutely obsessed with girl groups and you, Seungkwan, Seokmin and Soonyoung just loved to make fun of his taste.

“What is he doing these days? Man, he was so easy to mess with.”

“He left for Seoul, to become a trainee in high school.”

He nods.

“If… If it hadn’t been for Sohee, do you think you’d have enjoyed it?”

It’s almost a hopeful question, a melancholic plea for acknowledgement. In the underlines, there is a secret question, “Do you miss me?”

“…I don’t know, maybe.” He shrugs.

maybe.

That was enough for you.

When he gets into the uber with a soft wave, heading back into his glamorous lifestyle, you’re left to pick the pieces of your heart back up, glue them all together with a boring routine and mind-numbing deskwork until he can break them again.

406 notes · View notes

therealcocoshady · 7 months

Text

Recovery - Chapter 14

Eminem x FemReader (Y/N) fanfiction

Summary : Em and Reader fly to NYC for a day.

Tags : Little bit of angst, FLUFF 🥰

CW : -

In the following week, you and Marshall hung out together as much as possible, whether it was to watch a movie, have dinner or simply hang out at the studio with everyone. Except for the two of you, as well as Talia and Jamal, no one knew about your argument. The others simply figured out that you were busy with uni, which was great, because you didn’t really want anyone to be involved in any type of drama. Being back as a team was great, and you were elated to have your best friend back. You were also ecstatic to go to New York with him. You had never been there and you couldn’t wait to discover the city. After all, when they visit the US, most people from Europe go to California or New York. If you were completely honest, the reason you had ended up in Michigan in the first place was because of the partnership between your former university in France and MSU, as well as the fact that Detroit was actually a cheaper place to live. And then, you stayed because you fell in love with the place and met amazing people. Ever since you had moved to Detroit, you hadn’t visited a lot of places. You were either on a budget or too busy. So when Marshall offered for you to fly to NYC with him and it matched your schedule, you saw it as an amazing opportunity. Plus, you were going to spend some time, just the two of you… and Paul.

When Marshall told you that Paul was going to be there, you were a bit disappointed. Of course, you understood that it was his role as manager to be there whenever Marshall was going on a work trip or giving interviews, but his presence made you feel a bit uncomfortable. Ever since the pictures of the two of you exiting the party had been published in the press, Paul had made no secret of his disapproval of your presence in Marshall’s life. You got along with everyone else, from beatmakers to sound engineers, but the manager was something else. It seemed like he hated you and it was making you a little sad. Marshall shrugged it off though. The day before, you were in his closet, picking his outfits for the photoshoot when you decided to talk to him about it.

Are you sure that me coming to New York is a great idea ? You asked.

You don’t want to come anymore ? He asked back.

No, of course I do, you said. But is Paul ok with me being there ?

I don’t know. I didn’t ask for his opinion, he shrugged.

He hates me, you sighed.

No, he doesn’t, he chuckled. I mean, it’s Paul, he’s an ass, sometimes. It’ll be fine, though. He’s just going to be there for the interview and then, he’s having meetings of his own. He won’t even be there when we fly back.

So it’ll be just us, then ?

Pretty much. You, me and… well, security, he said.

On the next day, when you boarded the private jet for the flight, Paul was already seated. He greeted you curtly.

Are we sure it’s a good idea for her to be here ? He asked Marshall without so much as a look at you.

Yeah, Marshall replied. I need her opinion on outfits for the shoot and she’s never been to NYC, so it works out pretty well.

Are we working here, or are we turning into a travel agency ? Paul sighed. Seriously, Marshall, we could have worked with a stylist…

Just relax, Marshall shrugged as he rolled his eyes. It’s no big deal.

To you, maybe, Paul groaned. But I swear, if I have to deal with anything she does…

Marshall didn’t even bother replying. He just sighed and sat next to you during the flight, as you both watched a movie on your iPad. Shortly before you landed, Paul decided to talk to Marshall about the day’s events, still ignoring you.

So, the photoshoot will last about two hours and then the interview, he recalled.

Good, Marshall said. This afternoon, I’m taking you to cool places, Y/N. You’re going to like New-York !

Actually, Paul said, I know you wanted your afternoon and evening free, but you’re doing a radio interview in the afternoon…

Are you fucking serious ? Marshall groaned. That wasn’t planned. I’m not doing this. I made plans with Y/N already.

Well, here’s the thing… They sort of announced your presence on the show already… But Y/N doesn’t mind. Do you, Y/N ?

So, now, he was talking to you when he was trying to convince Marshall ? Great. It took you a lot of effort not to give him the biggest side-eye.

It’s fine, you said with a forced smile. I’ll enjoy the city on my own.

Are you sure ? Marshall asked.

Of course. You have work to do, it’s ok, you replied.

Plus, it’s probably for the best, Paul said. If the two of you were to be spotted together…

Whatever, Marshall said as he rolled his eyes.

You landed and got to the suite the magazine rented for the day, where the photoshoot and interview would take place. As you unpacked and organized the outfits that Marshall would wear, you heard him talk to Paul.

So, are we taking questions about your relationship with Y/N for the interview ? Paul asked.

You already know the answer, Marshall sighed.

I’m merely asking to protect you, Marshall, the manager explained. It’s my job.

I know, Marshall said. But my personal life, my daughters, my ex, my friends outside of the industry and any rumored girlfriends… It’s not something I’m discussing. We’ve decided on that nearly fifteen years ago, I don’t see why it would change now.

Because the two of you were spotted together, Paul recalled, that’s why. You should know this could change everything. And as manager, I have to remind you that it’s all about the control we have over that type of thing. Plus, obviously, with everything that happened recently… people are certainly wondering.

Why the fuck would they even care ? Marshall groaned. I make music, I’m not a fucking reality show celebrity…

Fine, the manager said. Lucky for us, things seem to be dying down. Let’s hope this stays this way. No offense, but I have enough work as it is.

Once they were done with their conversation, Marshall came to find you and took a look at the outfit you had chosen in his wardrobe.

So, what did I pack with utter blind trust in you ? He mused.

Three different outfits. One is more typical of what you usually wear for photoshoots, the two others are a little more “you”, you explained.

Meaning ?

Meaning you’ll look like Eminem in at least one of them, don’t worry, you said with a wink. Do you trust me ?

I guess, he chuckled. They send us the pictures before publication beforehand anyway, so I’ll pick the pictures I like the most.

I wonder if this is why you never smile on pictures, you chuckled. Is it because you ban them from publication ?

No it’s not, he said with a grin. I mean, people can catch me laughing on camera and stuff, I don’t really mind that much. But most of the time, it’s because I’m not really at ease. And I’m not really myself either, you know ?

Not really yourself ? You asked with a raised eyebrow.

Well, if my daughters take a picture of me, I might smile, but if it’s someone I don’t know and it’s for the media… They’re taking Eminem’s picture. Not mine, he shrugged.

Well, the two other outfits I have planned are definitely “Marshall-coded”, you chuckled. Is that ok ?

I guess, he said with a smile.

The team from the magazine started to arrive and set up things for the shoot. You let him change into the first outfit. It was a simple, classic one. Black jeans, black sneakers, white tee-shirt and Saint Laurent jacket, accesorized with silver chains that were on the daintier side, as well as a ring, a nice statement Rolex watch and a bracelet. When he came out of the room, he looked a bit perplexed.

You didn’t pack any hat, he pointed out. For any of the outfits.

That’s intentional, you said with a smirk.

Why ? He asked.

Because you’re getting the picture taken. The point is for people to see your face, you chuckled.

What if I don’t like my face ? He chuckled.

Well that’s your opinion, but your opinion is wrong, you replied with a smile. I like your face.

Do you ? He asked as he furrowed his eyebrows.

Of course.

His look softened a bit and he kissed your cheek before sitting in the makeup chair. It seemed like he knew everyone already. From what you gathered, he was used to working with this particular team of people whenever he was doing something with this magazine. He politely greeted everyone and even made small talk, though he seemed more distant. You could tell he was putting on a persona, but probably wasn’t too comfortable. You chuckled as you saw his annoyed look when the makeup artist applied makeup on his face. He noticed and instantly flipped you with a smirk. You silently watched from the side as he went in front of the camera and posed as the photographer directed. He looked good, for sure, but the whole thing felt unnatural. The person in front of you wasn’t Marshall. It was Eminem. And although it was his job, you weren’t sure you liked it too much. After all, you had never been an Eminem fan. The reason you appreciated the music was the man behind it, the real person you had befriended. You shook your head and smiled as he posed in what you assumed to be a stereotypical rapper fashion : not a smile in sight, dark expression, serious demeanor… When the set was done, he walked to you.

I see you making fun of me, lady, he smirked.

I would never, you said innocently.

What’s wrong ? He asked.

Who said there was anything wrong ? You mused.

I know your pretty little face, he chuckled. You can’t lie to me.

Mmmh… I’m just not used to seeing you like this, you said with a smile. But, yeah, you definitely look like a rapper. Almost like it’s your job !

Come on and tell me what outfit is next, he said as he grabbed your hand and led you to the bedroom.

The second outfit consisted of the same jeans, different sneakers, another white tee-shirt (slightly less fitted) as well as his Detroit Lions jacket, with no accessories, except for a watch. You thought it would be cool for the outfit to make a nod to his passion for football. In the months you’d known him, he’d spent countless hours trying to convince you to learn more about football, though you always replied that “actual” football was soccer and that the US version didn’t make any sense. It was more simple, more him.

I like it, he said as soon as he got dressed.

I like it too. The blue really brings out your eyes, you replied. Especially when you’re not wearing a hat.

You really hate my hats, don’t you ? He sighed.

I like them, you shrugged. I just like being able to look at your face…

The comment made him smile and he gently stroked your cheek.

You’re the boss, after all, he said with a wink.

Am I ? You asked cockily. I like the idea of being the boss…

Only for today, he replied as he rolled his eyes. And only for the outfits.

Too bad I can’t voice my opinion on makeup, you whispered.

What’s with the makeup ?

It’s too much, you chuckled. It’s going to clog your pores… You can’t see your actual skin underneath those layers !

Wait until they airbrush my face on Photoshop, he grinned.

That would be a heinous crime, you said with a smile.

Gotta hide those lines, he said with a wink.

I like the lines, you said softly as you stroked his cheeks, trying to get rid of some excess of makeup that made his skin look a bit cakey.

Do you ? He asked.

Yup, you whispered. I really do. They’re part of your face.

He chuckled and planted a kiss on your cheek before going back on set. For the whole duration, you looked at each other and you tried to get him to relax by making faces whenever the crew wasn’t looking. His look had softened a bit, although he still looked serious. You believed in miracles, but it would probably take a little more than that to get him to smile. You were leaning against the wall, watching him work, when the makeup artist settled next to you.

Hard not to stare, right ? She chuckled.

Mmmh ? You asked, as you weren’t really paying attention.

I’m just saying… The man is really attractive, she said. I’m Jenny, by the way. I’m in charge of makeup.

Hi, you said. I’m Y/N. I’m in charge of the clothes.

Are you his personal stylist ?

Just filling in, you chuckled.

Anyway, you did a great job, she complimented. He looks really good.

Thanks, you said, your eyes still focusing on Marshall.

You’re going to think I’m crazy but… You look just like that girl in the magazines. The one he was spotted with, a few weeks earlier, Jenny said.

Do I ? You asked as you feigned surprise. I wouldn’t be caught dead in that outfit, you added with a grin.

Anyway… She’s a pretty lucky girl… I mean, I’d definitely sell a kidney to be in her place.

You chuckled softly. You were indeed lucky. Sure, there was little truth to the story in the news, but you were definitely in luck to have Marshall in your life. However, you found yourself to be a little frustrated : ever since the two of you had rekindled your friendship, neither of you had made a move. Sure, you hugged all the time, sometimes held hands, and were overall really close. But he hadn’t mentioned the two of you “hanging out more” again. When you weren’t speaking, you mostly missed the friendship, but now that he was back in your life, you weren’t really against the idea of his kisses and his hands all over your body. In fact, you were all for it, and the memories kept you warm at night.

When he was done with the second set of pictures, he went to change and your heart skipped a beat when he emerged from the room. This final outfit was the most basic, but it was your favorite. He was wearing black jeans that were a bit washed out and a gray hoodie, matching shoes and no accessories. You had chosen these clothes because these were the exact ones he wore the day you met. You remembered thinking he was attractive when you first saw him, but somehow, he seemed even hotter. Everything in this outfit screamed “Marshall” in your opinion : no brands, comfy, nothing flashy, but still fitting to his style. The gray color definitely brought out his nice complexion and his eyes. He smiled as soon as he spotted you.

What do you think, boss ? He asked.

You look great, you said as you couldn’t smile from ear to ear. That’s my favorite look, right here.

Is it ? He mused.

Yeah… Definitely. Also, that’s what you were wearing when we met, you added.

Really ? He said with a smile. And you like it ?

Definitely ! You replied. I think it’s the look I associate with you the most. Simple and understated, but the sneakers give an edge.

I don’t remember my outfit of that day, he chuckled. But I do remember yours. I thought you were really pretty.

You chuckled and blushed lightly, not really knowing what to say. You were nervously playing with your sobriety pendant when you had an idea. You took it off and placed it on him.

I think the outfit is complete now, you said with a smile.

He chuckled and placed a kiss on your cheek before going back on set. Jenny touched up his makeup before going back to you while he posed.

You’ve done such a great job with these outfits, she said. You know, I’ve worked with him a few times, but I think it’s the first time I’ve seen him this relaxed.

I’m glad, you said softly.

How is it to work for him ? She asked. Must be pretty exciting…

It is, you chuckled. Not to make you jealous, but he is pretty great.

God, you’re lucky, she said dreamily.

You glanced at Marshall and noticed he was looking at you. The look on his face was soft and he was playing with the pendant in between takes. You couldn’t help but smile at him. That’s when it hit you : you were in love with Marshall Mathers. You would have expected such a realization to make you panic, but it was the contrary. You were almost overcome with joy and emotion. After all, you were lucky enough to have fallen in love with someone who had become your best friend in the past few months. And you knew for a fact that he found you attractive. In that instant, you knew you had to tell him. Oddly enough, you were more confident than ever. Last time, he had been the one to make a move by suggesting that you hung out more, so maybe the universe was letting you know that it was your turn.

The shoot ended and Marshall walked up to you as the crew was packing their stuff, except for the journalist who was patiently waiting for the interview. You both went to the room so that you could start packing the clothes and he could get changed. He sat on the bed as he watched you pack.

You did a great job with the outfits, he said.

Really ? You asked with the biggest smile.

Yeah. I like them. I felt confident, he chuckled. Doesn’t happen too much. Especially when I’m not wearing anything on my head.

I like it better that way, you said softly.

What’s wrong with Kangol ?

Nothing. Come to think of it, they might be the best thing you’ve worn on your head, except for beanies…, you said. I liked your beanie era. But the durags…?

I know, he chuckled. But, back then, it was pretty stylish…

You’ll have to find someone else to convince, Mathers, you grinned. Aren’t you changing clothes ?

Nope. Apparently, I look good in those, so…

You giggled and let him take off the makeup before doing the interview. You thought about the best way to confess your feelings to him. You didn’t want to be cheesy and corny and overdo it, but you wanted to do it in the right conditions. You figured you’d wait for a moment when the two of you would be alone. When the interview was done, people vacated the room and you were left with Paul and Marshall. The plan was to have something to eat delivered in the suite for lunch and then, they would head to the radio station while you went out shopping, waiting for Marshall to be done.

You did a good job with the interview, Marshall, Paul said. Especially dodging the questions on your personal life.

Let’s hope it goes just as well on the radio show this afternoon, Marshall shrugged. It’s going to be live, so I can’t really make a mistake on this one.

I already laid down the ground rules, Paul explained. I think you should be fine. So, I arranged what you asked for, for tonight and afterwards, you have your flight back to Detroit at 10 PM..

Are we staying that late ? You asked.

Yup, Marshall said with a grin. I have plans for us ! I think you’re going to like it.

Any clues ?

It’s not funny if you guess before we get there, he chuckled.

Now, you were definitely curious. You ate and everyone went on their way. You had a couple of hours to spare before meeting with Marshall back at the suite, so you decided to go visit the city, maybe find a couple of cool libraries and cafés. You were ecstatic to discover NYC. You had grown up watching Friends and you had always dreamed of visiting the city one day, maybe even living there. You were like the typical tourist : you took pictures of every cool building or anything remotely interesting that you saw. You also posted a few pictures on your Instagram page, that you had made public again since the rumors had seemed to die down. You would have loved to have Marshall with you, but you decided to make the most of it anyway : if he were around, you’d have security following you and it would be a whole thing. At least, if you were alone, you could just explore in peace. In true bookworm fashion, you entered the first cool-looking bookstore you saw and ended up spending way too much time there, as well as a big chunk of your paycheck. Obviously, you were a sucker for books, in whatever kind or form they came in. You didn’t even see the time, only being reminded of it when your phone buzzed. It was Marshall calling to tell you he was running a little late because of an impromptu selfie-taking session with fans waiting outside of the radio station. You told him it was ok, as you had lost track of time and weren’t too close to the hotel.

I’ll pick you up with the car, he said. Don’t move, just text me the address of the bookstore.

It was a blessing in disguise : you had been so reckless in your spending on books that there was no way you’d be able to carry that to the hotel. When you got to the car, your arms were full of books, almost causing you to stumble.

Thank God we’re not flying commercial, Marshall grinned. Otherwise, you’d spend a fortune on checked luggage.

I may have gotten a little carried away, you confessed. But this library was so cool ! There were pride flags everywhere, and they have such a great selection on intersectional feminism, like this book on bi-representation in TV shows, as well as this one on body positive issues, and there’s another one on gender identity in the era of social media…

You went on to blab about your purchases for a minute, causing him to chuckle.

Sorry, you said as you realized you probably got carried away. That’s not really interesting…

You’re so adorable, he said with a smile. You’re such a cute social justice warrior ! Stevie would love you !

Your youngest ? You asked.

Yeah. She’s really interested in stuff about gender identity. Came out as genderfluid a while ago, actually, he explained.

Oh. Are “she/her” her preferred pronouns ?

Anything works, he said. To be honest, it’s making life a little easier for me. I think I'd be stupid enough to make mistakes, so…

It’s great that you’re supportive, you said with a smile.

Not gonna lie, I didn’t even know what non-binary and genderfluid meant before she came out to me, he chuckled. But I’m glad she felt comfortable enough to do so. I love her so much, you know ?

This comment made your heart melt. He was definitely too sweet when it came to talking about his kids.

Well, you can definitely recommend these books to her, then, you said with a smile. You’d score some feminist points with her.

I could use that, he chuckled.

You’re also welcome to borrow them from me, if you want to do some light reading, you added.

That’s light reading ? He scoffed. Yeah… Thanks but uh… I’ll stick to comic books ! I’m not a big reader, you know ? But if I ever have to fill in a gap in a wall or prop up some furniture, I’ll definitely borrow them !

You chuckled and nudged him with your elbow.

Anyway, I think my girls would really love you ! He said.

You’ll have to introduce us, then ! So, where are you taking me ? You asked.

Bergdorf Goodman, he said with a smile. We’re going shopping !

Aren’t you afraid you’ll be disturbed by fans if you’re in such a public place ?

We’re getting the VIP suite, he said with a grin. No one will bother us.

You opened your mouth but no sound came out. When you thought about living your TV show fantasy in NYC, that wasn’t what came to mind… But you liked shopping and looking at nice clothes as much as the next girl, so you were all for it. When you went to the VIP shopping suite, you were like a kid in a Candy shop. You were offered drinks and a sales assistant came to see Marshall immediately.

What do you need today, Mr Mathers ? She asked in a sweet voice.

Ask the boss, he chuckled. She’s the one in charge of my closet.

Really ? You asked giddily.

You did a good job styling me for the photoshoot, he said. Plus, last time I checked, our deal still stands, so you might as well choose what I buy, if you’re going to raid my closet…

You squealed and chose the pieces you wanted the sales assistant to buy from the iPad she presented you with. You were thoroughly enjoying this shopping experience. It was unlike any other. Even when you went shopping with Cassie, it hadn’t been that fancy. Marshall tried on a few things and picked the ones he liked the most. You tried to get him to wear a little more color, but he was a bit reluctant. He also ended up picking a few pairs of sneakers to add to his collection.

Now, my turn ? He asked with a devilish grin.

What do you mean your turn ? You chuckled.

You pushed me out of my comfort zone, I’m doing the same, he said with a smirk. I’m getting you to try on some stuff.

Oh really ? You asked. Are you turning me into a rapper ?

I could, he said with a laugh. You like my closet. You’d love it.

I’m a girl, you pointed out.

So ? Gender is a social construct and clothing has no gender, he grinned. What ? Am I too feminist for you now ?

Don’t get cocky, Mathers, you joked. I’d like to see you in a dress…

Well, I’ll have you know that I have worn a few in some music videos, he said with a smirk. I played my own characters.

You did ?! You exclamed.

He used the iPad to get on YouTube and show you excerpts from music videos. He was, indeed, wearing dresses, as well as wigs and makeup. You were a bit shocked.

You’re basically a drag queen, you shrieked. That’s so awesome !!! You need to do that again !

I don’t know about that, he chuckled. I got over it, you know ? Plus, with the beard, it’s just not the same.

I’d like to see that, though, you grinned. Look at you, deconstructing gender !

He chuckled and looked proud of himself. It seemed to remind him of fun times. However, he did not lose track of his goal and picked items for you to try on. A far cry from your usual style, definitely more street-wear. On the rack that the sales assistant brought for you, you spotted a jacket similar to the one you had borrowed from him, that you loved so much.

They have a women’s version, he said with a smile. I thought you might enjoy it.

Oh my God, you said. It’s so beautiful !!!

Try it on, he said.

It fit like a glove. It was absolutely gorgeous. The fit was better than the one you got from him, seeing as it was tailored for a woman’s body.

What do you think ? He asked.

I love it, you shrieked.

Good, he chuckled. Now, try the rest.

He had picked out some great clothes, namely jeans, hoodies, chains and, of course, Jordan sneakers. He had you dressed from head to toe in a typical Eminem outfit. You were feeling a bit ridiculous, but you did enjoy the jacket and the sneakers.

I’m getting those for you, he said.

You’re not, you replied as you shook your head.

Come on ! Let me have fun ! He pleaded.

It’s too much, Marshall.

Please ? He asked. That’ll be your salary. If I’d hired a stylist, I would have paid them.

You already got me on the flight, you pointed out.

Whatever. I’m getting these for you or you’re going back to Michigan on foot, carrying those huge books by yourself, he said.

Fine. Thank you. You’re the best, you said before hugging him.

You ended up spending quite a bit of time in the store, but you had a lot of fun. You also ended up treating yourself to a nice handbag, to congratulate yourself for remaining sober for a whole month. It was fancy and definitely one of your biggest purchases ever, but you felt like it and could easily afford it, since you were saving a lot of money on rent thanks to Talia and Jamal’s refusal to let you contribute. When you exited the store, your chauffeur was waiting to take you to another destination.

Where are we going now ? You asked giddily, having the time of your life.

I would have loved to take you to some touristic places, but I’m afraid it’s going to be complicated if we don’t want to be bothered, he said. But I’m taking you to a really iconic monument in New York.

After a bit of driving, the car parked in front of the Empire State Building. You were a bit flabbergasted.

Isn’t this place supposed to be highly touristic ? You wondered. Plus, it’s nighttime, so it’s probably closed…

Well, yeah… Except that I know someone who knows someone and I got us dinner in a private room on the highest floor, he chuckled. That way, you will be able to admire the city !

You immediately jumped in his arms.

You’re the best. Seriously, you have no idea… I always dreamed of coming here, when I was a teen and completely broke ! I could cry right now, you said.

Don’t, he chuckled. Let’s go !

You entered the building, escorted by security, and took the elevator to the highest floor. A nice table was waiting for the two of you. The view was absolutely mesmerizing. The city lights were glowing. It was like a dream come true. You jumped in his arms and he made you twirl. You couldn’t believe you were feeling like such a princess. If it wasn’t for the presence of waiters and security, you would have made your move and kissed him. Instead, you just hugged him.

You’re the greatest, you whispered.

Happy one month sober, he chuckled. I’m so proud of you, Y/N.

A waitress came and handed you flutes. You were about to refuse when Marshall stopped you.

It’s sparkling non-alcoholic wine. And it’s from France, he explained with a smile. Shortly after we met, I remember you telling me you missed French wines, so…

You’re amazing !

He kissed your temple and you toasted to your sobriety. In that moment, you felt good in his presence, and you couldn’t help but think that this man was single-handedly ruining any other men’s chances of ever impressing you. He was just the best at making gestures. You also had a nice dinner and enjoyed the view a little more before going to the airport and boarding the plane. You were both tired on the flight home, and you were about to fall asleep in your seats when the aircraft began shaking. Marshall immediately took you in his arms and you held each other as the captain informed you that it was turbulence. You knew they might not be a big deal, according to the science behind it, but your brain was freaking out. Neither Marshall nor the security people seemed too relaxed either, mind you. Eventually, though, you landed and you couldn’t be happier to be home. As you exited the plane, Marshall got a phone call and you waited for him on the tarmac. He came to you about ten minutes later.

Is there anything wrong ? You asked as you were wondering why someone would call at almost midnight.

Oh, that was nothing, he said. It was Nicole, she just got off her shift.

Nicole…? You asked, not really knowing who he was referring to.

Yeah, the nurse you met in the ER the other day, he said. I mean, you probably don’t remember, with the painkillers and stuff…

No, no, I know who she is, you said, still not really getting it. Is there anything wrong ?

No, nothing, he said. She was calling me to confirm our date night tomorrow.

You looked at him in shock. At that moment, you felt something break inside of you. The plane might not have crashed to the ground, but your heart definitely had.

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