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#I have NEVER fixated on one thing for this long
verstappenverse · 3 days
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What We Never Said
Pairing: Max Verstappen x Reader
Summary: Max Verstappen, your best friend, has always been a constant in your life. But when jealousy surfaces over a recent date, it stirs emotions he hadn’t quite confronted. Is there more between you two than just friendship?
1.9k words / Masterlist
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Max had always been good at keeping his cool. On the track where everything is measured in tenths of a second and a moment’s hesitation can cost everything, keeping a level head was what set him apart from the others. But lately away from the track something had been gnawing at him, disrupting his usually unshakeable focus.
It wasn’t new this feeling it had been there for a long time, simmering quietly beneath the surface. Max knew that. He was painfully aware of it in every shared glance, every late-night conversation, and in the way your laugh could instantly pull him out of his darkest moods. For years you’d both kept things easy, uncomplicated, two best friends never crossing the invisible line that tethered you close but never too close.
At least that’s how it was supposed to be.
It wasn’t until a few nights ago when he overheard a casual comment at a party that Max realised how fragile that balance really was.
“I didn’t know you’d gone on a date,” your friend had said her voice light and teasing.
Max wasn’t eavesdropping intentionally he had been halfway through a conversation with another driver when the words hit him like a punch to the gut. He barely registered what was being said to him after that. His attention had been locked on you, watching the subtle shift in your posture as you casually replied.
“Yeah,” you said, like it was nothing. “We went for dinner and drinks, it was really nice...he was nice.”
Max’s hand had tightened around his drink. Nice. The word grated against Max’s nerves. The conversation around him faded into white noise as his mind fixated on what you hadn’t said, on what you’d kept from him. A date? You’d gone on a date? Since when did you go on dates without mentioning it to him? It felt like the ground beneath him had shifted, like something fundamental had changed, though he couldn’t quite explain why.
For the rest of the evening Max stayed quiet his usual easy-going demeanour replaced by something darker, something more brooding. You didn’t seem to notice or if you did, you didn’t bring it up. But every time he looked at you all he could think about was someone else sitting across from you, someone else making you laugh, someone else getting to know the parts of you that Max had always believed were his to cherish.
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He thought about it more than he should have over the following days, a slow burn of frustration and confusion twisting in his chest. It wasn’t that he had a claim over you but there had always been something unspoken between the two of you, and hearing about you with someone else, someone who wasn’t him, made it feel like everything was slipping through his fingers.
Max found himself at your door days later, heart racing in a way that had nothing to do with the adrenaline of racing. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say only that the unresolved tension between you needed addressing.
The door opened and there you were, smiling like always, the kind that usually made his stomach flip, but today it only made him more tense. “Hey you,” you greeted stepping aside to let him in.
He walked in without hesitation, but his usual ease was nowhere to be found. He hadn’t been able to shake the image of you with someone else. Max had tried to push it down, to convince himself that it was none of his business. You were your own person, free to do whatever – or whomever – you wanted. But the truth was, it did bother him. A lot more than he cared to admit.
He dropped onto your couch more tense than he’d been in weeks. You sat down next to him, your brow furrowing as you picked up on his mood. Max was many things, but unreadable was not one of them. He wore his emotions on his sleeve and right now you could sense the storm brewing behind his usually calm exterior. His jaw was clenched, and you could see the tension radiating off of him in waves.
“What’s up with you?” you asked, tone light but probing. “You seem… off.”
He wanted to shrug it off, say it was nothing, but the words wouldn’t come. He couldn’t pretend anymore, not with you.
Instead he turned toward you, his blue eyes sharp “Why didn’t you tell me you went on a date?”
Your expression shifted subtly, surprise, then confusion trying to place his tone, “I didn’t think it was a big deal.”
A beat of silence passed, Max could hear the faint hum of the city outside your apartment window, but inside, the air felt thick weighted with something unsaid.
“I overheard you the other night,” he continued, his voice rougher than he intended.
You blinked, processing his words. “You overheard?”
Max nodded, watching you closely waiting for some kind of explanation that would ease the knot in his chest. But you just sat there, not defensive, not guilty, just calm.
You hadn’t kept it from him on purpose. In fact you didn’t even think it was that big of a deal. The date had been fine, nice, but nothing extraordinary, certainly not enough to warrant telling Max about it right away.
“It wasn’t anything serious,” you said after a long pause. “Just dinner. I didn’t think it was worth mentioning.”
Max exhaled sharply running a hand through his hair. “And if it had been serious?”
Now you were even more confused. Your eyes met his then, a flicker of something passed between you. “Why does it matter?”
That was the question, wasn’t it? Why did it matter? He wasn’t your boyfriend. Hell, he wasn’t even sure what he was anymore, except confused. Maybe a little scared. The kind of fear that sinks deep, the kind that makes you realise you’ve been taking something for granted.
“Because it does,” he muttered quietly, his voice tight.
You leaned back slightly, studying him. There was something different about the way you looked at him now, more attuned to whatever was hanging between you. You’d always known that Max was protective of you, but this? This was something else entirely.
“You’ve never cared before,” you said, your voice quieter now, like you were piecing together a puzzle neither of you had fully acknowledged.
Max hesitated then sighed. “Maybe I should’ve.”
The words were out before he could stop them, and they hung in the air, heavier than anything he’d ever admitted to you before.
You didn’t respond right away. The silence stretched, uncomfortable in a way that it never had been between the two of you. And then, after what felt like an eternity you leaned forward resting your elbows on your knees hands clasped in front of you.
“Is that what this is all about? Me going on a date and not telling you?” You paused, your eyes searching his face,“Or is it something else?”
He didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. Because of course it was something else. It had always been something else. He just hadn’t let himself admit it not until now, not until the idea of you with someone else had thrown everything into sharp, painful focus, and maybe that wasn't fair but he didn't know how he could go back now.
Max stood, pacing the length of your living room his mind racing. “I don’t know,” he finally muttered, though it was a lie. He did know. He just wasn’t sure how to say it, cross the line you’d both been skirting around, to take years of friendship and lay it bare without ruining everything.
“Max,” you said softly, your voice pulling him out of his thoughts. “Look at me.” You needed to hear him say it. You needed to know if what you felt for him was mutual or if you were reading too much into this.
He stopped pacing but didn’t turn around right away. His fists clenched at his sides, and for the first time in a long time, Max felt completely out of control. It wasn’t like driving where every move was calculated, where he could read the car, the track, the competition with precision. This was messier, rawer, and there was no strategy for it.
Finally, he turned to face you his blue eyes meeting yours. There was no running from it anymore, no pretending that what he felt for you was anything less than what it really was.
“I didn’t like it,” he said quietly, the admission catching in his throat. “Hearing you talk about him… I hated it.”
You didn’t look away but your eyes softened, your expression still guarded.
“Why?” you asked, though your tone told him you already knew the answer.
Max let out a shaky breath. “Because… I’ve always wanted it to be me.”
The confession hung in the air, and for the first time with you Max felt truly exposed, vulnerable. The invisible line between you two, the one he’d always danced around, was gone.
All the emotions you’d been burying for so long, all the feelings you’d tried to convince yourself weren’t there, came rushing to the surface.
You walked toward him slowly, and for a moment, Max wasn’t sure what you were going to say, but when you reached him you didn’t say anything. Instead you just looked at him, really looked at him, like you were seeing him in a way you hadn’t before.
“I’ve always wanted it to be you, too,” you whispered, the words so soft he almost missed them.
“I didn’t want to ruin things between us,” Max continued, “I didn’t want to lose you. But hearing about you with someone else… it made me realise that maybe I’ve already lost you and I didn’t even know it.”
You took a step closer to him your heart pounding in your chest. “You haven’t lost me."
His heart clenched, and before he could stop himself, he reached out, gently cupping your face with his hand. Your skin was warm beneath his palm and for the first time in days the tension in his chest eased slightly.
You didn’t pull away, you stepped closer eyes never leaving his. It was as if all the years of unspoken tension between you had finally come to a head, and neither of you could ignore it anymore.
He leaned in, slowly, cautiously, giving you every chance to pull away. But you didn’t. And when his lips finally met yours it was like everything he hadn’t been able to say, everything he’d been holding back for years, poured into that kiss.
It wasn’t hurried or desperate. It was slow, deliberate, a moment stretched out between two people who had spent too long pretending they didn’t want this. Max’s arms wrapped around you as the kiss deepened, but still, there was a softness to it a tenderness that spoke of the years of friendship, of trust.
When the kiss broke, you both stood there inches apart breathing in the moment. Max's hand lingered on your cheek his thumb brushing lightly against your skin.
“You know,” you whispered, smiling against his lips teasing, “this is probably something you should’ve told me ages ago.”
Max let out a soft laugh, his forehead resting against yours. “Yeah, well” he said, his voice low and teasing back, “I guess this means I can stop pretending I’m okay with you dating other people now," you laughed softly as he smirked "but I wasn’t too worried, everything’s about timing isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” you murmured, your lips brushing his. “I guess you got it right.”
"Finally," he whispered with a grin, before pulling you into another kiss.
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heartfullofleeches · 22 hours
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Bugman with a Darling fixated on marine life. Bug dumps facts about their favorite creatures on them and Darling shoots back with some of their own. Bugman is delighted when Darling tells them crustaceans and insects share a common ancestor, but more over it's nice to speak to someone who shares the same spirit Bug has in bugs towards their own interests. Darling probably also shares the same fear Bug has over annoying someone with all info stored in their brains, but if they asked Bugman how they felt it would tell them to never stop talking.
Amongst the sea of insect themed merchandise, the occasional crab or lobster item appears in Bugman's bedroom long with things related to Darling's favorite animals tucked away for safe keeping. Whenever Bug sees something they know Darling would like while they're out shopping its sure to grab it for them .... If they don't keep it for themselves because of how much it reminds them of their crush-
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Darling: Whoa :0 Cool shark painting! Did you know sharks are covered in tiny scales that are made out of the same material as human teeth? That's why their skin feels like sandpaper!.... Sorry, Bug- Got carried away, again. Am I talking to much?
Bugman, scribbling on a notepad: You say that as though it would be a bad thing. Please, continue if you feel comfortable.
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Bugman: I am aware your birthday has yet to pass, but I came across this interesting hat I have a notion you might like. I believe it is a jellyfish.
Darling: Crazy timing- I found this real cute isopod plushie, they're kinda like giant sea bugs- So I got it for you! Like it?
Bugman: ....If this stuffed animal departs from my mortal vessel so will I from this earth.
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Cultist Older Sister: Bugman! I see you've brought home dinner for yourself. Shall I prepare it for you?
Bugman, holding grocery bags in one arm and a live lobster in another: This is not for me. It is a pet. For Y/n.....
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gilbertscurls · 1 day
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Consume ➵ Matt Sturniolo
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synopsis: you finds yourself at a crowded party, but your mind is fixated on matt, the steady presence in your life who's recently stirred unfamiliar feelings within you.
The music pulsed through the crowded room, the bass reverberating in your chest as you weaved your way through the party. Neon lights flickered above, casting everyone in a hazy glow of reds and blues. You spotted Matt leaning against the bar, his head tilted back slightly as he took a long sip of his drink. His dark hair fell messily across his forehead, and his signature cool, effortless demeanor was as present as ever.
You weren’t sure when it had started—this unshakable pull toward him. He was always a constant in her life, the steady friend, the one who never let emotions show too clearly. But recently, every time you were in the same room, it was like a magnetic force pulled you closer, making your stomach twist with a kind of nervous energy you weren’t used to.
And now, with the low lights casting shadows across his sharp features and his black jacket hugging his frame just right, that pull was undeniable. You couldn’t help it. You were drawn to him, maybe even consumed by him.
“Y/N!” a voice called out from behind you, snapping you from your daze. You turned to see Chris and Nick waving her over.
“Hey guys,” you greeted, though your eyes flickered back to Matt. Chris followed your gaze, smirking.
“Can’t stop staring at our boy, huh?” Chris teased, nudging your shoulder. “I see the way you look at him.”
You shot him a warning glance, your face growing hot. “Shut up.”
Nick raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He always knew when to stay out of things. But Chris? Not so much.
Before you could say anything else, Chris gave you a knowing grin and strolled toward the bar, Nick trailing behind him. That left you standing awkwardly a few feet away from Matt, your heart pounding harder than it should have been. You were about to walk over when, suddenly, he turned and met your gaze.
The air between you seemed to thicken instantly, the noise of the party fading to a distant hum. His dark eyes held yours, steady and unreadable, but something in his expression flickered. He motioned you over, and without thinking, you obeyed, your feet carrying you to him before your brain could catch up.
“Hey,” he said, his voice low, almost drowned out by the music. “You good?”
You nodded, though you didn’t feel good. You felt out of control, your body reacting to his presence in ways that made you feel dizzy. You caught the slight downturn of his lips, a look of concern flashing across his face.
“You seem… Off tonight.”
You wanted to laugh at that. Off? If only he knew. You were so far from “off,” you didn’t know how to describe it. Instead of explaining yourself, though, you shrugged, trying to play it cool. “I’m fine. Just tired, I guess.”
He nodded, his gaze never leaving yours, and you could feel the weight of his attention. It was suffocating but also addictive, like you couldn’t get enough. Before you realized what was happening, Matt set his drink down and leaned in close, his voice barely a whisper in your ear.
“Come outside with me.”
It wasn’t a question, more like a statement, and you didn’t hesitate to follow him as he made his way through the crowd. You both stepped out into the crisp night air, the streetlights casting long shadows across the sidewalk. The party still raged inside, but out here, it was just the two of you.
Matt turned to face you, his expression unreadable. For a moment, you just stood there, the city lights glowing softly around you. You crossed your arms, suddenly feeling the chill, but it wasn’t the cold that made you shiver.
“Y/N…” His voice was soft now, almost hesitant. He reached up, brushing a strand of hair from your face, and the simple touch sent a shock through your system. “You don’t have to act like nothing’s going on. I see it.”
Your heart skipped a beat. “See what?”
He stepped closer, his hand lingering near your cheek. “This… Thing between us.”
You opened her mouth to respond, but the words got stuck in your throat. Of course, he’d noticed. How could he not? It had been building for months, this undeniable tension, this pull that had you thinking about him constantly.
“You can feel it too, right?” His voice was low, his eyes locked on yours, and the intensity in his gaze was overwhelming.
You nodded, unable to deny it anymore.
He closed the distance between them, his hand now cupping your cheek. “It’s been driving me crazy,” he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. “I can’t stop thinking about you. Every time I see you…”
He didn’t finish the sentence, but he didn’t have to. You knew exactly what he meant because you felt it too—the constant, maddening thoughts of him that had been consuming you for weeks.
Before you could respond, Matt’s lips brushed against yours, softly at first, almost like he was testing the waters. But when you didn’t pull away, the kiss deepened, his hands slipping around your waist and pulling you closer.
It was intoxicating, the way his touch sent sparks through you, the way the world seemed to fall away. You kissed him back with a kind of urgency that surprised you, like you’d been waiting for this moment for far too long.
But as much as you wanted this, as much as you craved him, there was a part of you that knew this was dangerous. There was something dark about it, something that felt like it would consume you if you let it.
You broke the kiss, stepping back slightly, your breathing ragged. “Matt…”
“I know,” he said, his voice rough, his eyes still filled with that same burning intensity. “I know this is complicated.”
“Complicated doesn’t even begin to cover it,” you whispered, your heart racing. “What if… What if we ruin everything?”
He stared at you for a long moment, his expression softening. “Maybe we will,” he admitted. “But maybe… Maybe it’s worth it.”
You hesitated, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air. This was Matt—your steady, reliable Matt. But the way he was looking at you now, the way he had kissed you, it felt different. Dangerous. Like stepping off a cliff and not knowing where you would land.
But maybe, just maybe, you didn’t care.
You reached for him again, pulling him back into your arms. If this was going to consume you, you might as well fall headfirst into it.
And as his lips met yours again, all thoughts of caution melted away, leaving nothing but the raw, electric energy between you.
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tag list: @stuwniolo, @sturnobsessedwh0re, @matts-myloverboy, @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut, @lizzymacdonald06, @asherrisrandom
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sweetestlamb · 2 days
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I Wanna do Bad Things to You
Authors note: honestly I was losing interest a bit and the second couple still has me in a chokehold but today's episode ate devoured and licked the plate clean. I have a million things I need to do right now but I wrote this instead🤷🏾‍♀️💃🏾
None of his fantasies could have ever prepared him for the vision Seok-ryu makes breathing hard beneath him, her cheeks flushed and her lips swollen from their kissing.
Thoughts about her aren't new to him. Dirty thoughts about her are not new either. He's been locking his door since he first realized that his feelings for her were different from his feelings for Mo-eum.
He never dreamed about holding her hand, or kissing her or undressing her.
No. Those bad thoughts were reserved for one person and now she's under him staring up at him like she's having very similar thoughts and his thoughts are multiplying by the minute.
"What are you thinking about?"
'Giving you a hickie.'
But he only says that to himself in the safety of his mind because saying that out loud terrifies him and makes his palms too moist.
"Choiseung." She demands his attention again, as if he's not already too fixated on her.
"I'd.... rather not say." He whispers instead, leaning down to hide his face in the curve of her neck before he even realizes his mistake.
She grumbles underneath him but he melts at her hand settling in his hair, her fingers running through the thick strands. Nobody's ever caressed him like this before. He has the fight the moan that wants to escape.
"You're already breaking your promise."
That gets his attention and he shifts away, pining her with her eyes.
"What? What do you mean? What did I do?" He wants to fix whatever it is immediately, he can't handle another argument with her his heart felt like it would burst.
She seems stunned by his seriousness before she collects herself, "You said you wouldn't hide anything from me again. I want to know what you're thinking, whatever is making you look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you're starving."
Her and these food analogies. But she's not wrong, he feels like he has been starving for years waiting, longing and wishing. Starved for her attention, her favour and her love.
"I'm hungry."
His eyes widen at the sudden announcement especially considering that they just ate, but maybe he can go outside and see if the store is still open and get her something to--
"Where are you going?" She huffs at him as he tries to detangle their limbs.
"You said that you're hun-
"Are you a virgin?"
He freezes and his brain short circuits before he can remind his lungs how to work and breathe again.
"Are you insane why would you ask me that?!"
"Woah. Look how red you got! Am I right? You're a virgin? Am I going to be your first?"
He stares at her slack mouthed before his competitiveness kicks in, she's always been the one to bring this petty immature side out of him.
Far too easily he grips both of her wrists in his hand and pins her hands to the bed over her head. She flails in his tight grip but he watches with fascination as her cheeks pinken and her eyes dilute.
Interesting.
"My first what? Are you offering Seok-ryu? Do you want it that badly?"
His nerves are still there but the desire to put her in her place overrides it momentarily.
But instead of arguing like she's supposed, like they've both been doing for years she zigs when he expects her to zag.
"What if I do? You're my boyfriend. Aren't I suppose to want you?" She stares back with open defiance, only she could make such a confession sound so aggressive.
"Seok-ryu..."
"I don't want to talk. Do I have to spell it out? I want you to -"
His lips slam into hers with a wet smack and he almost groans at how easily she opens up for him, kissing him back as if she's the one that's been pining for years. As if she wants him half as much as he wants her.
He jolts when her legs wrap around his waist, his hold on her wrists loosening for a moment.
When he can't resist the urge to grind into her heat he forces himself to pull away. They need to slow down this is...too much. Too fast.
"We should stop."
But that seems to be the last thing on her mind.
Instead she frees her hands and shoves them up his shirt, his stomach tightens at her touch and this time he isn't quick enough to swallow his reaction.
"Hey Seung-hyo when did you get abs? Is that why you think you can boss me around because you got some muscles?"
"You can't just touch me like that." She raises an eyebrow at his exclamation, challenge clear in her eyes.
"Oh. Why not? Aren't you my man? Can't I touch you just like this and even worst? If I can't touch you like this then who can?"
His jaw drops at her assertion and at the possessiveness in her tone.
He refuses to leave any room for a misunderstanding this time.
"Nobody. Only you."
She avoids eye contact but he doesn't miss the smirk on her lips and that twinkle in her eyes.
"But if you touch me like that then I'm going to get thoughts....I don't want to take advantage of you."
Her laughter is instant and he's tired of feeling like a fish out of water, she's his woman. He is allowed to act like it. He's done holding himself back.
So he retightens his grip on her hands and leans down to press a firm kiss to her neck. Then he waits and her reaction is immediate, her body bends to meet him giving him free range to explore.
Without hesitation he preseses another kiss opening his mouth to taste her and she moans in response.
"More."
That sends blood rushing through his entire body.
He kisses her again and again until she's twisting beneath him but he's too strong for her to break his hold, he shouldn't like that so much.
"I want to give you a hickie."
There. He's said it and if she says no that's fine this is still more than he ever hoped for, more than he deserves honestly. It's greedy of him to even want for more.
"Then do it."
And this time he hold on her completely loosens and she wraps her hands around his neck and yanks him down again, pressing his face further into her neck with a quiet, "Mark me I want it."
He opens his mouth and sucks gently, teething at the thin skin there with the barest amount of pressure. He does it for a minute, lost in her scent and in her soft skin.
"Harder."
He hums into her neck in response, too enthralled to move away for even a second.
"You need to do it harder to leave a mark."
He ignores the tinge of jealousy that flares up at her obvious expertise, she's here with him now that's all that matters.
And he obeys her, open his mouth wider and sucking harder even biting at the last minute and he almost pulls away at her soft shout but she tightens her arms around him refusing to left him go.
"I'm fine you just surprised me. But I like it. I like everything you do to me. Don't stop."
He feels like he's drowning in his own pent up desires.
But he continues to suck and bite and lick at her skin before he realizes that his hips have been moving of their own accord, each gasp from her lips feels him leaving lightheaded and wound up too tight.
He needs to stop before it's too late.
The hickie is huge and red, he realizes that he might have overdone it especially with them trying to hide their relationship.
She's going to kill him.
"How is it? Are you proud of yourself?" She teases him and he can't deny that he loves seeing his mark on her, loves that she trusted him enough to let him do that.
"Who knew you were so possessive?"
He bristles at her taunting tone, "Like you're any better? What did you call me your ma-"
"Hey! Shut up, don't repeat the things I say in the heat of the moment that's embarrassing!"
And this time she pushes him away, and he lets her flopping onto her bed.
"I'm going to check out my hickie, see how much concealer I need to cover it."
And that has him bolting up in the bed, "Wait a second Seok-ryu!"
But he's too late and he watches her eyes flare with anger as she touches the large red mark on her neck in awed silence.
"It looks worst than it really is, it should fade by tomorrow I'm sure!" So similar to the words that she said to his crying six year old self and they both know how that turned out.
"I'm going to kill you!! What did you do to my beautiful neck? What are you a freaking vampire? I said mark me, not destroy my neck!"
And he jumps over the bed trying to get away from her and he can't help but laugh as she trips over her own feet trying to catch him.
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Note
Fun fact: I was that anon that Lily responded to about Hunter having no one in that reaction you just posted.
I was 15 at the time, and I actually got into Lily’s content because of her Disney movie in minutes videos and LGBT in animation videos. I thought she was direct and funny. I loved the owl house but found her takes on the show post season 1 to be…off
She was hyper-fixated on race for some reason, and didn’t like Luz in season 3 (who she defended and made videos on btw) because…she was sad for a mistake she made? She delved into these issues before, but for this show it seemed like that was the thing she was most passionate about. Some positive takes, sure, but the negative ones seemed to fuel her the most. But it was her takes on Hunter that really had me confused. It’s like she was watching a completely different show than I was.
I sent that ask not as a hyper-fixated Hunter loving moron as she called me, but as a fan of the show that didn’t understand her hostility to a specific character that…didn’t really do anything to deserve it? A character she hated so much it made her turn against the show (allegedly)
Long post (sorry!) but I just wanted to comment about how hurt I was that Lily was just so rude and nasty in that response. She really put anyone who defended him into the same “racist boring, hates POCs” bubble and just never left it. I was a fan, and how she reacted soured my taste in her instantly. Unsubscribed, unfollowed, done. Now I’m hearing about former friends calling her toxic, and her bullying YouTubers reacting to her content. I feel embarrassed I ever supported a creator like that…
She was awful in the Steven Universe fandom, she was annoying in the Star Wars fandom, and she was awful in TOH fandom. Beware!!
Wow, that sounded terrible.
Don't be embarrassed for having followed her content and liking it. Most people in the critical community used to be fans of hers. I used to be a fan of her as well when I was like 14. I just see this as people growing up and thinking for themselves.
I think Lily lost a lot of followers over her take on hunter and even more so "hollowed mind." And it didn't help that she called people who relate to Hunter,"racist fascist that are a part of hitlers youth." It's one thing to just not vibe with a character, but it's another to act like he's the worst character to ever have screen time.
Despite the fact that she's been on the internet for years, she can't handle being online.
Unfortunately, Lily treats all of her fans like that. She'll yell at them for not sending money that right way, All of her exes were fans of her, and She'll answer asks with hostility. Lily is just all around, not a good or nice person.
I'm sorry you felt so hurt by Lily simply because you asked a question.
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sickwhispers · 19 hours
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Ur so cool for making stuff for dandys world💚 Im asking so politely for you to write Dazzle x Reader pretty pls? 🙏🙏🙏I like never see any Dazzle love
WING MAN
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Pairing: Dazzle x reader
Relationship: romantic
Warning:
Type: headcanons + drabble
Hand written letters seem to be the only way he'd be able to express his fondness towards you
Letters about his day, how he had messed up while extracting a machine, how sad it made him, how the only reason he hadn't broke down crying on the spot was because you had smiled his way
Sometimes, he wonders if you save those smiles for him
Keeping them locked away for the rest of the day, only revealing the true kindness behind them the moment you two make eye contact
Razzle likes to tease him a lot
Most of the time, it ends with Razzle trying to convince him to talk to you
But there's always a new excuse
Dazzle wants to talk to you,
He really does
Although, when it comes to how he thinks those scenarios would play out, it always end in some sort of tragedy
He might stumble over his words; he might end up tripping both him and Razzle in front of you
He might even bring you down in the process
There were too many risks
Too many possibilities of embarrassing himself in front of you
No matter how many times Razzle seems to try and convince him to talk to you, every conversation ends with an excuse not to
At some point, razzle just ends up deciding to do it himself
Dazzle stares at the letter held in your hands, eye twitching as you try to explain how you had found it earlier in your room. According to your story, you had arrived in your bedroom after a long run extracting machines and distracting twisted to help save your friends, only to find a little white envelope placed neatly on your bedside table.
The letter, once you had opened it, stated it had been from Dazzle. Which confused him to no end, considering he had no recollection of writing it. You had almost laughed while reading it if you were being honest. You've known Dazzle for a quite a while now. And, you've come to learn how he prefers writing. There's always a melancholic tone in his words, his sentences short and simple. And yet, at the same time, there's always a deep hidden emotion behind the way he chooses to phrase them.
Dazzle takes a second to look over at his polar opposite. And it doesn't take long to notice how Razzle seemed to keep his gaze fixated on the wall. You try to speak, noticing the growing tension between the two of them, but before you could get a word out, Razzle speaks up.
"So-! What did you think of the letter? You know, the one your holding? The one Dazzle sent?" Even now, there seemed to be an almost anxious tone in his voice. A brittle laugh slipping past him as he made quick eye contact with you before glancing away again. However, this time, it seemed to have fallen on Dazzle.
"Well... it seems to have an overwhelming amount of positivity, considering dazzle wrote this." You fiddle with the note in hand, rereading the paragraph after paragraph. There had been a lot of exclamation points—more than what would have been appropriate to use. Along with the unusual way each sentence had been worded, there was almost an alarming amount of 'please.' "And a lot of desperation..."
"Y-you don't... uh... have to answer it. I already know what you'll say..." after hearing the last thing you said, Dazzle only seemed to cave into himself, attempting to step back and give himself more room. But, razzle only continued to keep the both of them firm in place. His eyes shooting Dazzle a quick glance, attempting to reassure him of his worries.
Despite how awkward the situation had turned out, you had accepted the letter
Your eyes scanning over the simple topic that had been painted across each paraphrase
The phrase "go on a date with me?" Being obvious among the array of sentences
Dazzle had seemed shocked when you accepted. Eyes widening as he watched you nod up and down
Yet, Razzle, on the other hand, had been fairly confident you would answer that way
And, after this whole ordeal, he made a mental note to thank Poppy for being the mailman for him
It was tricky having to write a love letter in the dark. in bed. While Dazzle was asleep
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iam-57311 · 10 months
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no because baronjitsu is so versatile as a ship like. they hate each other. they love each other. they would sooner throw each other into oncoming traffic than admit their feelings. they call each other tolerable at best but no one understands them like they do. they argue day and night like it's nobody's business. they don't register 'love' as what they feel but something like that is there. they're never overly romantic but find subtle ways to show they care at least. they can be married, divorced, a back and forth between the two, queerplatonic, "it's complicated", co-parents through and through. they tolerate each other for their slowly growing family but just as much begin to invite the other into their own lives. they have the same amount of tension 20 years down the line as they do on day 1. they were both kind of shitty parental figures who are working to improve. they share a chair, they share a bed, and they don't have to call 'no homo' because they just. exist. their lives are as complicated with each other in them as it is without. they are both the biological fathers of the turtles and the dads who eventually stepped up. they're both emotionally constipated and queer coded old men who have an influx of their own issues. have I mentioned the obvious sexual tension. everyone notices this years before they do. DO YOU SEE MY VISION-
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sleeping-platinum · 2 months
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Hello, I have had a problem for like... idk 3 weeks with these characters... Someone help.
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gwensy · 6 months
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sorry for reblogging fugly trends from 2012 it's for my enrichment
#have i ever told u guys about my early 2010s fashion and pop culture fixation#i got a gen you ine aeropostle skirt recently ive never been happier#also gonna try and get my hands on some freshtops tanks#eventually#also their shorts though ive only found one secondhand listing in my size#i need the naked1 pallet or i'll die#its funny to me because like#yes within fashionblogging and lifestyle teen youtube girls from that era#consummerism was a massive thing (it still is but its so obvious when you look at blog archives and videos from that era)#youtubers with non disclosed sponsorships#bethany mota and amanda steele vaguely saying “this brand sent me this product to give to you guys!”#it was really just watching the birth of what we know as influencers today and its really interesting to me#theres a lack of cuts theres a lack of scripting theres long tangents#people were only just then realizing you can make money via haul videos and makeup tutorials#bethany mota had a fashion line at aeropostle purely because of her status as a youtuber#there was a big rise at the time of people being against flaunting overpriced designer during that time because of the recession#but there was still a hugggeee hold with consumerism and classism#hauls with brandy and f21 and ae like i cant afford that im sure you cant afford $600 at american eagle on a weekly basis#i have lots of thoughts idk#anyways backtracked#i think its funny because here i am talking about how horribly i need b&bw and vs pink#but like its all secondhand shit for $15 online now#nobody wants this stuff!!!!!! cycles!!! capitalism!!!! i dont know you get what i mean!!!!!!!!!!!#skyler posting
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cha1cedony · 6 months
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Idk what it is that makes me fixate so hard on one specific thing for years at a time, but I need it to chill out 😭 DnDads has been my only long-term media interest for like 1 and 1/2 years now, and it’s BORING to only like one thing ever lol I’m BORED!!! I need other things to be interested in, but I struggle with getting into new stuff (other than video games) sooo bad :(
That said, if you have DnD podcast recs that have interesting characters……… GIMME 👀 Also where the early episodes aren’t a nightmare to listen to 🙏 I have never listened to any other DnD podcasts, and I think it’s mostly bc the earlier seasons are always poor audio quality or like 3 hours long 😭 I’m also good with any type of narrative podcast. I just want compelling characters and platonic/familial dynamics pls. Stuff I can write sad shit about!! But also not TOO sad the whole time… maybe a little bit silly idk
So far, ones I’ve written down to listen to are Cast Party and Friends at the Table? I don’t know anything about either of them, though so? Also I keep seeing my mutuals posting Oxventure and Woe.Begone (although the latter isn’t a DnD podcast.. I think?) sooooo let me know your thoughts. And recommendations! Send me your propaganda! Tell me about your blorbos
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seventh-district · 5 months
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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr 2.2#hsr spoilers#hsr leaks#the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am#i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before#but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y’all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one#so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days#it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me#but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and#gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it#and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story#not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know#but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game#anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream#pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we#i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see-#-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!)#i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!?#they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing#Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it#and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet#also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good#Seven.txt#viddy game stuff
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feeling sick constantly in the background all the time is like.. usually negligible-ish.. until multiple various chronic background issues all happen to overlap at once and then it’s like 
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#Like usually I cycle between like. joint pain issues. chest muscle injury stuff. back pain. stomach problems. headaches. etc.#There is never a day that I feel totally normal for the most part. but it's usually just little things here and there on and off#chronic things that seem to flare up sometimes. But then every once in a while it's like the flare ups align and I'll have 6 of the problems#at the same time and then is AaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#For some reason it's okay to deal with one or two of these things at any given time. but if I have to deal with like 3+ at once#or two of the old ones plus one NEW thing I've never had before or etc. etc.#I just can't even do anything. I run around stressed out of my mind unable to focus on any tasks or do anything but feel bad#then I cant even play games or do fun stuff becuause my brain wont let me be distracted from fixating on the fact that I feel bad#It's kind of the same way that it's stressful for me to go into grocery stores because my brain LITERALLY just is not capable of tuning out#all of the noises and lights and sensory information - so it' gets overwhelming quickly. I also just literally cannot tune out sensory infor#mation from my body. so if something feels even a LITTLE weird or a LITTLE painful or is even slightly different than usual#especially if it's overlapping with multiple other 'low level chronic pain' type things then my brain is just like.. being given way too muc#h information that it still cant tune out and then I can't focus and just walk around in a daze for however long until one of the issues#goes away on it's own (like joint pain flare ups usually come and go etc. etc.). or until I see a doctor abut whatever the new thing is#and maybe something they do or say actually helps or etc. etc.#Idk I have SO SO much I want to do the beginning of the year and so many projects to finish and things to post and schedules I have#written out for me to get on (like excercising more consistently and etc.) and it's just furstrating for my brain to just be like#ah.. nope.. we are not doing that. instead we are going to be completely incapacitated by a host of physical issues#which I think most ''normal people'' would just ignore like ''oh yeah I'll just load myself up on ibuprophen and coffee and energy#drinks and advil and sleep supplements and this and that'' or whatever but I can't do that it just makes stuff worse. I have to just sit for#days having a mind battle like 'okay yes we're having these problems.. but we can still like.. do SOMETHING right? we could like.. write#or draw. or things that don't take much energy'' and brain is just like NO!!! WE CANT!!! BECAUSE!! THING IS WEIRD!!!' and it's like okay#but thing is going to be weird. there's nothing we can do about thing being weird right now. so we should just focus on something else#'NO!! CANNOT TUNE OUT THING BEING WEIRD!! lets just fixate on it instead and wander aimlessly from thing to thing never able#to fully focus on any other task. hee hee''. anyway. hhghh.. sometimes I just get tired of having Various Ailments at any given time#especially unexplained ones or weird recurring problems that doctors haven't done much about because then it lends to paranoia like#'what if something is seriously wrong but I just dont know it yet?' which could be the case. I mean hopefully not. but I just hate stuff#being unexplained. because if there's no clear answer then the answer could be anything. even somehting bad. *** :V#ANYWAY gghhb... just bothered at the moment. I was going to come here like 'hey maybe I could post some drafts or pictures or something that#could feel productive!' but.. i dont feel like it. i dont care. too focused on Bad Feeling. just going to complain instead lol
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jvzebel-x · 1 year
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🦋
#so im doing a lot of study on mushrooms again lmao. for medication purposes.#&its reminding me of the insulin thing that was going around here&my immediate dislike of it#&while i stand by my opinion on the fact that no one who needs insulin to survive would ever handwave it as easy to make#i am once again reminded of the time period(s) that i have obsessed over making everything from pain medication#to chemo equivalents now that i still: 1-- cannot handle it&2-- dont have insurance to cover alternatives#&i still think its rude as fuck to pretend any form of medication is easy to make i do send my love to anyone needing to#experiment on themselves like fucking labrats bc the alternative is slow&painful (or fast&painful) death lmao.#... anyway im thinking about growing chaga mushrooms. i never did finish setting up the garden room bc health+monetary constraints lmao#but im reorganizing priorities more or less right now lmao&thinking maybe overhauling the patio+garden room should be higher on the list.#im pretty sure im thinking about the insulin thing right now bc i still feel a bit hypocritical to be so against bathroom insulin#when i do this shit lmao but also im like. working exclusively w plants. so like?#... actually im fixating on a weird vague memory that means less than nothing in the grand scheme of (my personal&immediate) things#bc focusing on almost any other facet of this outside of research+application makes my head spin&my blood pressure spike lmao.#... &also runs the risk in ending w molotov cocktails being tossed around if i think on shit too long. metaphorically. of course. lmao.
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allbuthuman · 2 years
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i am actually none of the official types of neurospicy but a secret new one that they made just for me
#/j obviously but also i am genuinely perplexed#feel free to ignore this but i will type it out just because#when i was young from what i remember i acted quite neurospicy but then i somehow trained myself out of it#but i don't know if that's what happened or i had some childhood ocd traits and i genuinely grew out of them bc i know that's common#i was very socially unaware like i wasn't very anxious yet but i could not figure out how to act#like i was trying but i was getting it wrong#i was always very fidgety and stimmy since i was a baby#never has my hand not been doing some rhythmical motion#my brain feels very all over the place but i do remember a period of at least a whole year when it didn't feel that way#i'm very obsessive but only a specific brand of obsessive (aka with fiction/characters/certain people) that's been the same forever#i'm like almost the opposite of rigid thinking sometimes i feel like i think more in metaphors than in actual literal thoughts#i never had any problem with like. reading subtext and such. i love subtext#i'm absolute shit at communicating emotion at this point when i'm for example sad i have to consciously think of#how i or generally a person who is sad would act and do it on purpose#but i don't know if that's innate or i'm just constipated#absolute shit at eye contact and i wasn't even aware of that until i was told#i have a very specific fixation with things like certain numbers and it's constant for many years to the point where it doesn't bother me#it's very contained it's not a general thing just this one thing across contexts that just runs in the background at all times#most of these have been present for a long time but i remember periods where it's like they didn't apply?#like my memory isn't that good so idk how i acted or felt but it was never addressed by anyone i think#i had never even thought of some of these in my 25 years of life until i was told by a couple of people#that hey this isn't how most brains work actually#but again they're not therapists maybe they don't know better maybe they were just trying to be validating who knows#i should probably stop thinking about it this isn't getting me anywhere#maybe i'm just worse than usual bc it's a very transitive people so it makes sense to not have it all together right now#maybe i should think about it again in a year or something? no clue#if you've reached this point wow why i'm literally rambling this doesn't make any sense to me#but i'm keeping it ffr if only to dismiss myself later on
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halfbit · 4 months
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i am getting started on productivity for the night but haven't figured out yet if i want to write or art first and there's also the tiny part of my brain that just wants to stare at kabru until it is ok to stop staring at kabru
#i don't talk about fandom stuff much here since i don't really get involved with it#but i do fixate on characters and right now i am circling around him like a wolf#tempted to draw him too but i can never capture his big beautiful eyes properly#i've also been tempted to draw beefcake laios but UHHhh thats for another day and i dont know if i will share that LOL#i finished the manga but i haven't had the energy to watch more of the show so i'm just thinking about the characters on my own and going :#also contemplating if i should draw a pride pfp (unrelated)#basically there is so much to do and it is overwhelming to work through the list#and i keep wanting to add more to it#also need to promo my commissions again more and add those sketches still but trying to figure out how to price them and don't have the#energy to type up explanations for them yet blagh#and i'm trying to balance that “realistically- i need more income coming in” with also “but i can't overwhelm myself with tasks”#<- which is very unambiguously clear that i do that just fine even without working on things for other people#is it obvious that my therapist relocated and i haven't been given a new one yet.#i can therapize myself So Good (actually overthinking and spiraling)#<- but please do not worry this is actually not a bad spiral which is good it is just a “things to do” spiral but it is fortunately#missing the key component of doom and horror and the world ending because i did not accomplish everything right#which is what a bad spiral contains and i've actually been on a pretty good streak avoiding those lately in spite of circumstances!#but if i linger on it it will probably turn into a lie so i will stop doing that#speaking of shows i watched the new episode of kaiju no. 8 today and i am just aggghrrhekrjskfj#i love hoshina so much#and he's been getting a lot of focus in these episodes so im happy#i love the way they animate his fights like!! wow#i need to watch them all on sakugabooru later#but i can't tonight if i want to do things#but i will later because they deserve frame-by-frameing#also i'm going to go pick up two volumes of wind breaker tomorrow i think#unfortunately i ordered them before i learned my hours were getting cut but#i have enough to cover my bills this month and since i'm not buying lunches or dinner for myself anymore because i'm not leaving the house#i'd rather just get them now instead of worrying about someone else buying them if i take too long#and let that be my last personal purchase for awhile
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moe-broey · 4 months
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Does anybody wanna grab me by the hair and smash my head into the wall and smash my head into the wall and smash my head into the wall and smash my head into the walland . I could use a little help hwre.
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