#I have another request incoming! It's about 50% complete!

[coolcatsodalite]

Hello, everyone! I'm happy be opening US based dye commissions! Currently, I will only be accepting commissions from within the US, due to the cost of international shipping. (Canada may DM but costs can still be quite high)

About me: I have been dyeing dolls for around 5 years now. It's an enjoyable part of the hobby for me, and as someone who is unable to work, I hope it can be a source of some income.

I exclusively use Rit Dyemore. Turn around time is 1-2 months. 3 slots available. You may claim multiple slots.

Slot 1:

Slot 2:

Slot 3:

At this time I will not be mixing custom colors. This takes more time and trials and I cannot guarantee I will get what you want. You may request a mix I have done for myself previously. *Exact color match is not guaranteed.* Rit Dyemore offers a wide range of colors and I am happy to use any of them straight. I can get a light or deep color with most of them. *Note: I may add a small amount of another color if toning is needed. Ex. Graphite must be toned with blue or purple to get a more pure black. Otherwise it will only look very very dark brown.

Prices for full dolls, one solid color start at:

Yosd/tinies: $50

Msd: $60

Sd: $75

I am no longer accepting dolls over 62cm! I have a hard time fitting them in my pot.

Parts, one color:

Hands/feet only all sizes: $20

Head only: $30

Legs/arms (including hands/feet) only: $40

Torso: $40

For fantasy dolls and parts (mermaids, centaurs, etc.) please message me as prices may vary by complexity and i need to be sure all parts will fit in my pot.

Extras:

Additional color (only 1 additional color): $10 (ex. An msd: torso, head, arms-blue, lower half-pink. This would be $70 rather than $60)

Restringing: $15 for fantasy dolls. $10 for everything else.

*if you choose restringing you must send your doll in a large enough box. If the box is not large enough (i.e. doll was sent unstrung in a smaller box but you want it returned strung) you will be charged for additional packing materials. Cost may vary and will be added to your return shipping invoice.

Body shimmer: $10 all sizes. Your doll will be covered in a resin-safe liquid sealant that has been mixed with shimmer color of your choice. All shimmers have a duochrome shift. Message me for available colors. *chipping or rubbing off of sealant will occur over time in the joint areas and may rub off with a lot of handling*

I do not offer body blushing or tattoos.

Payment is due upon my acceptance of your commission and you have read and signed the google form containing my terms and conditions. I will send a link to the form when we have agreed on your service. Failure to properly sign will result in rejection of your commision.

Customers are responsible for shipping both ways. When you ship your doll to me, please send me a picture of the receipt so i can charge the same amount on your return shipping invoice. *I highly recommend getting insurance. IF YOU DID NOT BUY INSURANCE TO SEND TO ME, I WILL NOT BUY INSURANCE TO SEND IT BACK. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR UNINSURED PACKAGES. If you did purchase insurance, please tell me the amount.

Return shipping will be charged when the dye job is complete. *I will not ship your doll until the shipping has been paid*

Please send your doll to me completely blank with no sealant residue. *sealant residue will result in blotchy dye. However, if you are going for a vitiligo effect this will achieve it in most cases. The residue will dye darker and then when it gets cleaned off the resin underneath will be significantly lighter and in some cases, undyed. **Let me know if you have purposely left sealant residue. Results of this process will vary.**

Dolls will be wiped with 99% alcohol and rinsed in water prior to dye jobs.

Companies that i have experience dyeing:

The best: Dollzone, Little Monica, Migidoll, Luts (consistently very even)

Very good: Akagi Doll (not perfect but just a bit uneven)

Decent: Dream of Doll, Dividing Line/Fenjiexian, Xagadoll, Resinsoul (some unevenness)

Not great: Doll Family-A and H (very noticably uneven), Shoushou Doll (however others have had good experiences so i'm willing to try again)

Absolutely not: Loongsoul, Unoa (extremely uneven. I will NOT take commissions for these brands!)

Companies i do not personally have experience dyeing but others had good results:

Myou doll, Doll in Mind, Withdoll, Soom, Doll Chateau, Lillycat, Fairyland

Examples:

[monday2econlive]

Summer Trade-offs

I have told my story in the third person point of view because this was about a situation I had faced in the past. During 2021, the summer of the covid-19 pandemic, Brendan (me) had gotten his first job as a swim instructor. He initially planned to spend most of his summer playing games with his friends and staying at home relaxing. But once his first work schedule came in, the job had another plan to play out instead. With shifts for about 5 times a week, Brendan’s free time had significantly reduced. Additionally, he had also signed up for summer classes at his high school, thus subtracting the amount of free time he was going to have. Shown below is his work schedule for the month of July, 2021 (Summer school is not shown as it was separate from his job).

As seen in the schedule above, Brendan’s weekdays are mainly days where he has to work at his job. If Brendan wants to hang out with his friends, maintain a high grade in his class, and work at his job, he must face some trade-offs during his summer. As one of the seven principles of microeconomics, trade-offs are essentially the act of offering something that involves getting a return for that something you sacrificed. Therefore, Brendan must figure out a trade-off that he is willing to take in order to fit all the things he wants to do in his summer and have the best optimal outcome that is in his favor. 

Brendan has many options he can choose from, however, whichever he does, may or may not benefit him more in the long run. For example, Brendan can request to have less shifts to work so he can have more time to hang out with his friends; however, this causes him to lose money and the time he could’ve spent to increase his income. This additionally causes Brendan to have a negative externality. Externalities are indirect costs or benefits that are caused due to a person’s activity. In this case, a negative externality arises because Brendan’s manager could perceive him to be lazy as he is taking the least amount of shifts without a reasonable answer for his cause. If Brendan were to take this trade-off, then the only good that Brendan gains, would only be hanging out with his friends. Taking a look at the negatives, we can see that Brendan’s work and school environment are being neglected and negatively affected. 

Instead, Brendan should think about his time and manage his schedule to maximize the benefits. For example, Brendan’s trade-off benefits should lean towards his goals that will help him in the future. Rather than requesting for fewer shifts at work, Brendan should keep those shifts and have his off days to learn in his summer classes. Although the opportunity cost is to lose the time he gets to hang out with his friends, Brendan at the same time, receives the benefit of having more money and a higher grade in his class. Brendan should realize the incentives of focusing more on his responsibilities because while Brendan is not able to spend as much time as he wanted to with his friends, there is a positive externality that has come with his actions. Through all the hard work and hours Brendan has spent at work, we know that his income has increased. Therefore, this allows Brendan to eventually have more hangouts with his friends because he can afford the costs of eating out and enjoying himself with whatever he wants. Additionally, with the completion of his summer class, he has prevented himself from failing and not having to commit additional time in the future. 

Through all the topics I have learned in this quarter, I’ve been able to reflect on my past and see the economic concepts I have unconsciously applied in my life. These skills will remain with me and I will continue to learn and apply them in my everyday life. 

Brendan Nguyen 

ID: 73895287

Discussion Time: Monday, 2:00-2-50 PM

[theshinobiway]

Hello there! Let me just start by saying I love the way you write. As someone who wants to publish one day, I find your style beautiful and inspiring. Now for my request, could you maybe write a scenario where Neji would end up falling for someone who is like his fanboy/fangirl? Kinda like the Sakura to his Sasuke if that makes sense. So sorry if it doesn't. Whether or not you choose to acknowledge this request, I hope you have a lovely day/night and please keep writing my fellow Neji lover ♥️

             Okay first off,

May or may not have gotten a little teary reading this. You have no idea how much hearing that actually inspires me to continue writing! I often look back at my own writing all the time and feel like it sounds pretentious or too try-hard-y but hearing that people actually find it beautiful is, well, incredibly touching and feels like awonderful accomplishment as a writer. I hope I can do your request justice!

On the prompt: This is actually a really sweet prompt that I’ve mused about before! I tried to keep the story as gender-neutral as possible since you specified both. I hope you don’t mind that I took some liberties with giving the reader some medical jutsu because it just flowed well with the story. Since my last two Neji prompts were a little heavy I tried to make this one fluffier, and I hope you enjoy it! Thank you for for contributing to the blog!

Also SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG, LIFE HAPPENED BUT HERE I AM AT LIKE 3AM LOCAL TIME FINISHING THIS, ENJOY A 13K FIC AS MY APOLOGY.

Request Scenario – Neji Falling for his Fanboy/Fangirl

Neji Hyuga - Who You Are

“He’s so cool!”

“Woah, that technique!”

“He’s obviously a genius.”

“That guy didn’t stand a chance.”

            A boy with long, brown hair stood over another, sprawled on the ground. His fist was at his fallen opponent’s face, perfectly still. As he rose from his completed match, you were in awe at how fluid every movement from him was—even out of combat. Still, what was the most cool was how his face didn’t contort in some ridiculous jeer or stupid grin. No, he was completely assured of his victory from the beginning, and his expression was disciplined, collected.

You were taken from the start.

[…]

           Neji never paid any mind to any of the girls and boys that fawned over him in your class, let alone you. In fact, he was rather snarky and aggressive when they overstepped his wide boundaries. But you made sure that you stood out in ways that mattered. You remembered his birthdays, his favorites, and made especially sure to mind his preferences when he was around you, intentionally never getting on his nerves, and especially never speaking on his behalf as the other ‘fans’ did.

           It didn’t take a genius to see that he hated people speaking for him. You stayed silent, letting him speak, and when he asked you about your portion of a group activity, you gave him straightforward answers—but with a smile, of course. You didn’t expect special treatment from him, you merely knew that keeping your professionalism in a school atmosphere was the right thing to do.

           You knew that he knew you liked him, you made it clear when he asked you outright one day and he sneered at your answer. He was harsh, slamming you with a rejection to the confession he had intentionally solicited from you. You weren’t perturbed. He was rude, but it was his way. You told him it was what it was, and that you hoped he wouldn’t treat you any differently because of the answer—after all, you had always liked him, but most importantly you had always acted as you meant to. Neji raised a brow, but the vaguely disgusted look didn’t leave his face. It hurt, a bit, knowing this was a clear rejection, but you weren’t dissuaded. You meant what you had said.

           You still gave him gifts for the occasions, but not out of the blue—he hated that, too. When Valentine’s Day came around, you especially made sure to never make him anything sweet, knowing he hated sweets. When all of the other gifts ended up in the trash when he left the academy that day, you noticed you didn’t see yours. When his birthday came around, you made sure you had taken note of some concept you noticed him looking for in the library and bought him a book accordingly. You didn’t mind that he threw most of the things people got him away, but you quietly noted that you saw your book in his slightly ajar bag some days after, or that when he sat eating lunch alone in some place the others couldn’t get to, the (healthy) granola bars you had made him seemed to have made their way into his lunch.

           But you didn’t say anything. Because you knew that when Neji liked something, it was clear enough. And when he didn’t, it was just as clear—the other ‘fans’ just didn’t want to accept that forcing their way on him wasn’t the way to treat him, let alone anyone. You never wanted to force Neji to be what he wasn’t.

And, while he would never have admitted it to your face as an academy student, it was what made you at least bearable to be around.

[…]

“Hyuga Neji, Rock Lee, Tenten.”

           Your heart sank a bit knowing you wouldn’t be on the same team as the one you admired. Still, you couldn’t be bitter: it was a good choice for the composition. The other ‘fans’ of the Hyuga weren’t as forgiving.

“Seriously? Her of all the kunoichi?”

“Such an eyesore.”

“Watch her get a big head after this…”

“She had better not interfere.”

“Look at that grin, what a sk-“

“Shut up!”

           You slammed your fists on the table, and immediately the room silenced. The instructor announcing the teams turned to look at you as well, caught off-guard. You knew you had everyone’s attention, which was exactly what you wanted. If there was one thing you couldn’t stand, it was that mob-mentality bullying you had grown so accustomed to with the other “fans” of Neji.

“Tenten was the best choice for his team! She’s the best weapons user that’s probably ever been through this academy, so she’s the perfect choice! You all know exactly how skilled she is, so shame on all of you for talking trash about her just because of your petty jealousy!!” You huffed in the direction of the dissenters, already knowing exactly whom had been speaking. They hadn’t changed from the same girls in all the years at the academy.

           You knew of all the other fans after all, and they had gotten to know you quite well, which is why you were mildly surprised they had dared say anything around you. You never leveled with just how petty they could be. ‘And frankly,’ you thought, ‘being a bully had nothing to do with admiration!’

           You turned your head to Tenten who was shocked but sent you a small smile of gratitude. You knew the girl had thick skin—another reason she was likely on his team—but words could hurt. You shot her a thumbs-up and brushed your shoulder at her, and Tenten gladly returned the gesture. ‘Just brush it off.’ Lowering yourself back to your seat. The presenter clearly had no idea what to do with the situation, so he cleared this throat tentatively before continuing.

“Al..right…Next team, Team Four: Hitomi Tanaka…”

            You focused your eyes confidently ahead, ignoring most of the dirty looks that had been sent your way, but occasionally returning the glare if you saw one out of the corner of your eye. Most of them immediately turned their heads away so you could focus again.

           The one glance you didn’t see was from the root of the problem in question, who raised his brow at you and narrowed his eyes. He studied you for a moment, scrutinizing your every move, looking for some self-serving purpose. When he couldn’t find any—and he had never been able to—the corner of his mouth twitched ever so slightly before he turned his gaze ahead once more, lost in his own thoughts.

[…]

“(Y/n), You will be accompanying team Guy on this mission as the squad’s default medic-nin, providing additional aid and support where necessary.”

“Understood!” You chirped happily, letting your enthusiasm glow in full view. Tenten gave you a high five, glad that their first mission was with a familiar face—and you both trusted each other.

           It had been almost a year since your teams were assigned, and your abilities as a medic-nin had become more apparent with time. Because of this, you had been assigned to this mission to assist team Guy in their first solo venture without their sensei. It was a C-rank with a moderate chance for conflict, so you knew to be on your guard. But still, you had only seen Neji periodically since then—occasional joint training exercises with your own team, a mission or two with Tenten or Lee when Neji was occupied—you hadn’t had much time to get to talk to Neji, and you were excited at the chance to finally show him how much you had improved. Your admiration from him had hardly waned during the time of distance.

           This was to be your first mission with him, and you knew you were going to give it everything you had. You realized still that you wanted his approval more than anything.

[…]

“I want to help!”

“Then stay out of the way and do your job.” Neji’s voice cut deep, though you brushed off the pain. There was no worse feeling than the scorn of someone you admired so much.

“Just because I’m here as a medic-nin doesn’t mean I’m useless in combat!” you protested, but the glare from Neji the second you finished told you well enough to keep your mouth shut. He wasn’t going to budge, and you knew that much. If anything, he found it disrespectful that you were going against the squad leader’s—his—judgment call.

“You’re right, you’re not useless.” Neji’s voice perked you up. He was giving a compliment..? Suddenly you felt excited. This was what you always wanted. But, seeing his face filled with mockery, your expression fell immediately.

“You’re a burden. And, after this mission, I’ll consider myself lucky in that I will not see you again.” He turned on his heel, making his way to the front and in position, and your stomach dropped lower than it had probably ever been. Hearing those words from him almost made you want to cry. Tenten, who had seen the exchange from her position, gave you a pitying look from where she was. She symbolically brushed her shoulder at you.

‘Y/N, just brush it off. He’s just like that.’

           You shot her a half-hearted smile back and brushed your shoulder back in response, but his words were stuck replaying in your head. As you hid yourself, waiting for the encounter, you tried to gather as much courage as you could. This wasn’t the way you had always envisioned your first mission with your longtime crush. Maybe it was just you, but for some reason, Neji felt much colder than he had been even at the academy.

           As you heard the battle begin, you readied your weapon just in case. Then, when you heard Lee cry out, obviously injured, something within you lit like a torch and you couldn’t stay still. You never hid behind the scenes for your own teammates, let alone here in hostile territory. You had been preparing a new technique for months and you finally were confident in its use. Especially now. You heard unfamiliar footsteps thud towards you, the weight was too heavy to be a comrade. As you readied your technique, you were prepared to do your job the right way, even if it meant proving Neji wrong. For once, there were bigger things at stake than impressing your crush.

[…]

“I told you to stay put, and you disobeyed!” Neji raised his voice, something he never did. But despite your current victory, his pride appeared to be speaking on his behalf.

“I realize you gave an order. But given that it was a stupid order, I elected to ignore it!” The words fell out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. This was so uncharacteristic of you; going against the object of your affections, your squad leader, but as you worked tirelessly to heal Lee, halfway exhausted from the combat and the chakra exertions from your healing palm, you couldn’t keep your mouth shut. The irritation of what you knew could have been avoided was still currently draining precious chakra.

“You’re a medic-nin with no combat ability-“

“No combat ability?! I don’t think you know what that means, considering that my interference is the reason your comrades still have their organs intact and the mission didn’t carry on for another exhausting few days as we tracked them down again! Medic-Nin doesn’t mean walking-first-aid kit, Neji, it means I have a specialized skill set! And if your team—”

“If they failed their duties, then it’s not on you to interfere, it’s on-“

“YOU!” You finally raised your voice, barking back at Neji, who stood over you. His head jerked back and you saw the anger flash in his eyes, but you ceased your healing immediately to stand up and stare at him, eye-to-eye the best you could. Tenten pulled your shoulders back, trying desperately to deescalate the situation.

“You’re the squad leader, and for all the time I’ve ever spent admiring you in my whole life, you were absolutely the worst one I’ve ever seen! And, I’m not surprised after seeing the way you’ve talked to them this whole mission—and now me—it’s no wonder your teamwork is garbage! Who wants to work under someone like you?! Your pride comes before their well-being! I have no confidence in you as a leader to prioritize us, your teammates, and its clear your teammates are just as intimidated by you as they are the enemy!” You huffed, your fists balled and your knuckles turning white. “And you think that their failures are on them? No, you want to be the squad leader, you assume the responsibility—your team’s failures fall on you!”

           You saw Neji immediately move towards you and you felt the anger radiating off of him in waves. Tenten lurched forward in time to hold Neji back, separating the two of you, shouting at the both of you to calm down.

           The person you admired from the beginning, that anger that you saw in his eyes, the momentary snap of killing intent…was that really the person you admired for so long?

           The mission ended when you returned to the village, but Neji had given you the stern silent treatment ever since, and when you were dismissed from the assignment room, he had left without a word. You grimaced at the report he was likely to make about your insubordination, but Tenten gave you a knowing look.

“(Y/n), he isn’t the kind to be…that spiteful. If the mission was a success, he’ll want to focus on that. It was his first assignment as squad leader, after all…” You offered a small smile to Tenten and Lee, knowing they appreciated you sticking up for them.

“I hope so.. but in the future, you two… don’t let him talk to you like that anymore. He needs to learn to look after you all, too.”

“I think you’re right, (y/n). Don’t get me wrong, he’s actually better now still than he used to be, but…” Tenten looked off, exchanging looks with Lee, who nodded.

“Neji-san is improving day by day! My rival refuses to remain weak in any area, and so I know he’ll improve as a leader, too!” Lee gave you his trademark thumbs up and flash of teeth, and you giggled back.

“Well, even if I’m not on a team with you three from now on, I hope I’ll see you around!” Both nodded and you waved, bidding them goodbye on your way.

           As you walked home, though, the weight of your words bore down on you. You had never been that harsh with anyone in your life, let alone Neji, and you know there was a better way to handle it. You’d make things right. Because, after all, nothing ever would stop you from doing the right thing—not even Neji.

[…]

“We need to talk.”

           You weren’t the kind of person to let arguments set without resolution, so you had spent the better part of three weeks tracking him down and contemplating what to say. He was skilled at avoiding you—and you knew he was avoiding you, because that was just who he was—until you cornered him in a remote park.

“Leave.” His brows narrowed, teeth grit, and body tensed in agitation. He knew you had tried to find him, and he also knew how to avoid fans—he had been doing it for the better part of his life, anyhow. The only reason you caught up was because he had become sick of putting forth the effort to avoid you.

“You’re going to attack me? Since when were you ever a slave to any of your emotions, let alone anger?” You huffed, standing your ground. “You’re better than this. And I know you are. That’s why I’ve always admired you.”

           As you always seemed to, you caught him off-guard with your blunt confessions. Still, his steely-eyed approach didn’t waver. He let a small ‘hmph,’ obviously deeming you a non-threat, and returned to his cool demeanor.

“I’m not going to ask for forgiveness from you.”

“You don’t need to, I’ve forgiven you already whether you’re asking or not.” You crossed your arms, playfully returning his snark. Neji, after so many years, had weathered at least a little to your impenetrable wall of positivity.

“Oh? You’ve graciously forgiven me, I see?” Neji was sarcastic, but you knew him too well to pay it any mind.

“Yup, and you don’t have a choice about that. We all make bad calls, and I actually owe you an apology too.” Your demeanor softened as you finished until you paused meaningfully for a moment and sighed, letting your shoulders drop. You took a breath before making eye contact, letting him know you were serious. “You were under a lot of pressure for your first leadership mission, and I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I could have stated my concerns better. I’m not happy about the way I handled myself. Insubordination isn’t something to be proud of, either… I’m sorry, Neji.”

           Neji, despite you being the one apologizing, looked like you had punched him in the gut. You waved your hands at him, defensively.

“Hey hey, you know me. I’m not trying to be the better person here. You should know I say what I mean. I don’t care if you apologize officially or not, it’s water under the bridge now. I just want to make things right, whether we see each other in the future or not...though, hopefully...yes?”

           Neji shook his head, same expression on his face. There was a momentary silence between the two of you until he broke it.

“When I tell you to stay put, I mean it. I don’t take chances.” Neji looked off, monotone as always, hands on his hips. You quirked your brow at him, wondering if he had missed the point of all your protests on that mission. Until it hit you why he had commanded you to stay safe, and you blushed in realization.

           When Neji turned back to you, he caught your face a deep scarlet and was startled. He waved you off, grumbling about you taking it the wrong way. Still, you couldn’t help but giggle and followed him, hoping that this particular good mood would make him more agreeable to a proposal for lunch.

           It didn’t, but you were glad enough that you had made up with him. He coldly dismissed your offer and made his way off. Even then, he was sweet too… in his own way. He didn’t like you, but it seemed he wanted to assure your well-being, even if he could still cut you off at any time.

[…]

           When both Neji’s team and yours went through the Chunin exams a year and a half after you graduated, you were worried sick about…his predicament. Knowing what you did about the participants involved, you prayed he wouldn’t come to meet her during the exam.

           Your team had decided unanimously to go through, but the second exam was wreaking havoc on you. You lost your own scroll within the first day to a surprise assault, and now you had the task of finding not just one, but two scrolls. It seemed unlikely, until you noticed in the distance a team arguing over whether or not to open theirs preemptively. You caught the jump on them in their disoriented state right as they tried and your team’s well-timed ambush earned you an earth scroll and left them unaware. Not that you really had taken anything they wouldn’t have lost, anyway—there was a disqualification for breaking the rules of the exam.

           Still, you were worried you wouldn’t find the other scroll in time, and you definitely didn’t want to run into the team that stole yours again—you had barely escaped with your lives. By a stroke of luck, you ran into Neji’s team during the exam.

           They looked at you cautiously, but Neji was aware immediately that both teams held the same scroll, making a fight between the two of you pointless. That, and with Lee in a pitiful shape after his encounter with the sound-nin, your impulsive act of healing him—and disregarding conversation until you finished, you had a one-track mind on the matter—softened the situation. With Lee feeling better, you both drew up a temporary ally-ship. As a repayment for your medical services, Neji scouted two teams in the vicinity with heaven scrolls and you both planned out your assault. It was pointless to have two Konoha teams fight when allyship was far more lucrative.

           When you both finally made it to the tower with a day and a half to spare, you immediately learned that there were no on-duty medic-nin permitted to assist the passing participants. After having a few choice words with authority, you resolved to take care of both teams, using your chakra reserves carefully over the next few days to revitalize both your team—and Neji’s.

            When you finally got to Neji, he wasn’t as torn up as some of the team, though he did sustain a few nasty bruises from the second assault. The problem was that they were under his jacket…and his mesh armor.

“I-I need you to…” Gods, you couldn’t even say it. It was also fruitless to hold back your blush, but Neji narrowed his eyes at you.

“Work quickly, before the other teams catch on that we’re working together…and mind your manners.” He quickly unzipped the jacket and tugged off the armor as you stammered over something about ‘I just need to see the bruises to know what I’m dealing with’ and ‘what kind of person do you think I am?!’

           Now in full view of him, you couldn’t even bear to look. You took glances to see where the injuries were localized, but immediately averted your eyes when you began. Neji kept his gaze locked on you the whole time, and you weren’t sure if his stare was really meant as threatening as it came across. It was hard to process anything besides your chakra control. You’d never felt flustered about this sort of thing before, but he always made you notice these sorts of things, and right now it was simply embarrassing.

“Are you done?” His voice brought your attention back to reality. Neji glanced down, and you followed his line of sight. Your hand was solidly on his bicep, your healing quite finished. In your lost thoughts, you didn’t recognize you had stopped and your hand rested there…of its own accord, obviously.

           In all your training sessions for tactical withdrawal, you weren’t sure any of those recorded times came close to how fast you tore out of the room in that instant, yelping and stuttering a quick apology in your stupor towards the door. Neji, on the other hand, sat motionless on the bed, hands pulled into his lap, face solidified into a stern expression, and eyes locked on the door that slammed shut behind you as he waited for the slight tinge of color that had crept on his face to secede.

[…]

            The preliminary rounds were difficult, but you and another of your teammates managed to pull through the first round by the skin of your teeth. Your third wasn’t as lucky, and you made note to see him later, his injuries not so bad because he had surrendered in time. The rookie teams quickly made note of how you and team Guy knew each other, and at that point, the atmosphere between the leaf-nin was friendly enough to socialize comfortably. Lee was forming friendly, competitive bonds as well. It made sense, of course: even if this was an exam, you all fought for the same village.

           When Tenten’s round came, you were also shocked at how the sand-nin kunoichi quickly dealt with the girl you were barely on-par with. This filled you with a sense of dread for the upcoming fights. Still, you were concerned over your best friend, and took a small break to see her in the wing. When you came back, your eyes locked on the screen and your heart stopped.

           During the preliminary matches, your worst fears came true—Neji was to face his cousin from the main branch. And during, all the progress you had seen in him after the last year of working on his anger fell apart in those thirty minutes. You felt nothing but pity and sorrow for the girl trying her best, and you knew firsthand how words from Neji cut deep. She was just like you—she admired him, honestly, and you could feel the sense of loss from what once was a close sibling-like relationship.

           When Neji moved to kill her in the final act, you felt your legs jolt forward of their own accord before the Jounin were leagues ahead of you. When the orange-clad kid made an oath to get back at Neji, you were too lost in thought to process what was going on. You only hoped that if this kid would beat Neji—and you seriously doubted he would, because it was Neji—that some positive change would finally stick. Lee diplomatically handled the situation, telling the two to save it for the final matches, and you whispered words of praise for him when he returned to the balcony.

           Neji, on the other hand, caught immediately the look of abject disappointment on your face. Disappointment in him. But in true and prideful Neji fashion, he scoffed at you, deciding to ignore you for the rest of the rounds. You couldn’t read his eyes, but that was his intention after all.

           When Lee fell to the boy from the Sand, you experienced your second round of heartbreak that day. Once the matches concluded, you all but rushed to see him. He was being prepared for transport along with the other injured attendees to be transported out of the forest, but the medic-nin relayed his condition to you after you protested that you were his friend and a fellow medic-nin in training.

It wasn’t good.

           You leaned against the wall in the hallway, look of horror plastered over your face. You felt the tears begin to sting your eyes as the words from the medic in front of you passed over you and he left, the hall suddenly eerily quiet. You didn’t notice that someone had walked up to you and was speaking to you until a hand rose and snapped in front of your face.

           When you glanced over at Neji, jolted, his face impassive at your tear-stained cheeks.

“He’s not well, I take it?” The bite that was in Neji’s expression earlier was gone, but his voice held the same amount of emotion as always—none, perhaps with a hint of vague impatience.

           You managed to shake your head, tears threatening to spring anew. You hated having to be the one to break it to him, but today had been emotionally taxing. Your sorrow at Neji’s match was forgotten now, your attention focused on Lee.

“How bad?” He moved forward, but you caught his eye twitched as your expression worsened.

“He…his legs…they think they’re…” You couldn’t finish, your voice cracked, and you shook your head furiously, unable to say the words, the tears streaming down your face as you clutched your hands your face. You tried to regain your breath, to force the words out, but it wouldn’t come. You knew it was unprofessional, un-shinobi of you. But you couldn’t stop.

Neji also didn’t ask you to.

           You heard a sigh and a warm arm came around you, pulling you into a firm embrace. You almost gasped at the sudden contact, but your face was buried in his jacket. The part of you that always admired him would have been squealing with joy, but that wasn’t who you were right now. You clutched onto him for dear life, letting yourself cry and shake, Neji standing completely still to allow you to let it out.

“I’m going to make sure that kid from the sand knows…he’s made a terrible mistake.”

              That was enough for you to know. Neji was still the person you always admired. A year ago, he would never have moved on behalf of Lee. Now, Neji had his own resolve, one that didn’t take kindly to those who assaulted his precious teammates. You hadn’t seen the encounter in the forest with the sound-nin, but somehow you knew that had to have been similar to this fury…no, this was a deeper anger, one you felt as his fingertips unconsciously dug into you as he spoke. But Neji would need to be calculated for this match, because that Sand-nin, Gaara, had no qualms about killing. At all.

“Please.. be careful… that guy is…” You buried your face deeper into his jacket, unable to help the outpouring of your emotions, trying to pull yourself together. “Please, please be safe, Neji.”

“…I promise.”

[…]

            Neji had kept you busy during the month-long training period between the previous exams and the final. While you had your own match to prepare for, you both decided it would be best to train together along with Tenten. In addition, your opponent had been the particularly deadly nin that would have killed your teammate in the preliminaries had he not surrendered. This would be a difficult match.

           You weren’t completely sure, but you picked up a sense of urgency that Neji directed towards you during your training sessions. Neji was much stricter and harsher with his critique during your spars than previous session pre-exam, and he made sure to leave little room for error. You secretly hoped you wouldn’t need to face him in the final rounds, as both of you could already tell the inevitable outcome. If it weren’t for Tenten’s positive attitude, you might have been overwhelmed with how serious Neji was. He wasn’t going easy on either of you.

“How long were you neglecting your physical spars? You’re not going to heal the enemy to death. Get up.”

           After what seemed like the umpteenth time you had landed in the ground, your shoulders were crying out from the pain. Nevertheless, you groaned as you rolled over, drawing your elbows up under you in an attempt to push yourself up. One of your arms gave out midway and you tumbled back down, the side of your face hitting the ground as you winced.

“Is that all you’ve got?

“Ugh, I’m trying.”

“These exams have the fatality ban lifted, simply ‘trying’ is the last step before dying.”

           You cringed at the thought, admittingly not knowing what the outcome could be at this point either. Your opponent was able to secrete poison from his body in both a liquid-like substance as well as blowing poisonous gas from his mouth and nose. Close combat was pout of the question. Still, it didn’t hurt to be prepared.

“Neji, lighten up. (Y/N)’s team isn’t a taijutsu specialty like ours. They aren’t as focused on-“

“It doesn’t matter what their specialty is, Tenten.” Neji snapped back, startling the kunoichi. Despite being used to it, Neji’s calloused nature was never pleasant to experience.

“If you’re furious about something then we’re not the people to take it out on, Neji.” You snapped back on her behalf, finally regaining your balance on your feet.

“What did you say?”

“You’re taking something out on us! You never told us what happened when you returned to the compound aft-“

“Silence.” Neji’s voice had a dangerous uptick and something flashed behind his eyes that you really didn’t like. “My affairs are none of your concern, and….” His voice dropped multiple levels. “…clearly nothing did, or else you know I would not be standing here.” His voice dripped with acid, burning a painful hole in the conversation by the end. Both you and Tenten stood there awkwardly for a moment, exchanging glances.

“(Y/N) is…we’re just concerned, Neji.” Tenten covered for you, knowing where your heart was.

“If we’re going to sit here and talk about my feelings instead of train, then I’m off to be productive. Goodbye.” Neji scoffed, turning on his heel and made for a new training ground.

“Why do you walk away from everyone who cares about you?!” You blurted out suddenly, already regretting the decision, but also somehow possessed by the question that had been lingering in you for a long time.

           Normally, Neji never responded to taunts. And, he never needed to, he was far too self-assured. But this time, Neji’s feet halted immediately and his head snapped back at you in anger.

“Tenten, I need a moment.” You were still calm, giving Tenten a reassuring look before she acquiesced and left promptly, leaving you both alone for a time.

“Are you intent on getting on the very last nerve I possess? You clearly overestimate your importance, here. You’re a vapid and lovesick fan that had the sheer luck of being in proximity to me, but your healing was useful enough to keep you around. I was considerate enough to spar with you in exchange for your aid abilities, and now that I’ve shown a base amount of concern you decide to throw it back in my face?” Neji was immediately on the offensive, wasting no time once Tenten was out of sight. And oh, his words cut deep. The feeling of shame covered your face, knowing that was all he thought of you. He was the person you admired the most, and now he said everything he knew could hurt you.

“Of course I’m grateful, Neji, but it doesn’t mean I deserve to be treated like this. Tenten doesn’t deserve it, either. And I…I never asked you to care about me, so let’s get that straight!” You balled your fists and dared make eye contact with him, only a few feet away from you. “I’ve always admired you, I’ve always watched you succeed, and for good reason! You are a genius, and you know it! But even if I did, I’ve never asked anything of you that you shouldn’t have already done!”

Neji’s face gawked at you for a moment before blinking, thoroughly insulted. He must have imagined you were chastising him.

“No, you know you would never have gotten anything out of training with me, but yet you still…” You bit your lip. “You still asked me to come. Even if it’s just as shallow as not wanting me to die, that’s enough for me. I don’t want anything from you. I don’t! Have I ever asked? Have I ever demanded your attention, your time, or your concern?! I’m never going to do that, Neji! That’s not how I want to treat anyone, let alone someone I admire!” You breathed, still in disbelief that you were letting loose like this for the second time in your life. “You’ve always improved so far ahead of everyone, and now you care about your teammates and it shows, because I completely admire you as a leader, too. But this… it’s not painful because of the insults. I…we both could sit here and take it all day. Honestly, I think we’re just… too used to it by now.” You averted your eyes, Neji’s face deadlocked on yours, remaining unresponsive and silent, his brows narrowing.

“It hurts only because I’m seeing you suffer in silence. And it matters to me that you know you have people that want to look out for you…the same way you look out for all of us. I’m…we’re all not going to force you to open up, we just want to know how we can be there for you.” As you finished you noticed your voice growing weaker, the deadpan and harsh stare from Neji intimidating you. For a few moments, he was silent. He didn’t blink. And then, suddenly, he spoke.

“Get out of my sight.”

           You were shocked, the command so blunt as if he didn’t respond to anything you said. He wasn’t moving, but he expected you to. When you didn’t budge, still too overwhelmed in shock by his words, he stepped forward.

“Now.”

“No.” You said it, but you don’t know how in the world you managed, because when you did, Neji’s eyes widened in anger—the same sort of anger you saw during the exams, and you threw your hands up in front of you as though he were to attack. He didn’t move, but you saw his eyes flicker to your arms, and then you.

“I…you’re terrifying me right now, Neji…” Your voice shook, every fiber of your body telling you to get as far away from him as you could. Slowly, he advanced, posture straight, until he was uncomfortably close. You were deathly still, poised defensive.

           He suddenly leaned forward, and your foot flew out behind you, moving you further away. He did so once more, and you followed suit. Until you couldn’t move anymore, your back pressed against a tree, and his imposing figure with the darkest white eyes staring down at you, lips curled in a snarl. His looming figure blocked out the sunlight, casting a shadow over you.

“Where’s that bravery you had a few minutes ago, (y/n)?” His voice was soft, but no less menacing. In fact, the quiet inflection in his voice only heightened your sense of danger. You swallowed in reply, never taking your terrified eyes off of him. You felt hot, though not in the romantic sense you always anticipated when you daydreamed of him being as close as this. This was far more sinister.

“...It went with the person I admired.” 

          Mild shock painted his face, and suddenly he paused, the malice in his expression ebbing from his face.

“...You’ve been caught in a childish daydream for far too long.” He gave a subtle shake of his head, never letting his eyes leave you. “I’m not going to train with a child. You’re on your own after today. Whatever Tenten does after training with me is up to her.” He rose from his position, face eerily calm. He didn’t move away. Suddenly, you realized he wasn’t going to. Wanting nothing more than to be out of that situation, you slowly inched to the side and gave him a wide berth, hurrying out of the training area, leaving him as a lonesome figure in the field.

[…]

            You didn’t get a chance to speak with him until the exams, but you felt a sort of embarrassment as you stood near him in the lineup. The crowd had you feeling nervous, and the glare from your soon-to-be opponent was only succeeding in that you had already been feeling vulnerable even before you arrived. You had prepared something sufficient for him, but it was the following matches that had you concerned. Perhaps you would surrender when you could, after all.

           You were the second match following Neji and the one orange jumpsuit kid from the previous exam. It was likely to be a quick match, knowing the kid was a two-rate failure that would perform to expectations.

Oh, you were wrong.

           The match played out before your eyes in an unbelievable showdown. When Neji revealed his curse seal, you winced and clutched your hand over your heart from the combatant’s box. You had never seen it before but had heard of it in passing from Tenten and Lee. Hearing his past had all but wrenched your heart out, you never knew he suffered so much. This was the pain he had carried all his life.  the reminder of how you both had last spoken, the awe you always had of his impassible skill, and the fantastic fight put up by the boy called Naruto.

           All in the last few minutes of the match, when Neji had nearly been victorious…it all changed then. Naruto pulled a last-minute clever victory in an uproar, and Neji lay motionless on the ground. You found Tenten in the crowd who exchanged looks of shock with you, and she moved from her seat to go down to the medical wing. You couldn’t bear to do it yourself, though, and merely gave the Naruto a sideways glance as he returned to the competitor’s box.

Your own match was next.

           You had concern racing through your mind when you led yourself down to the field. You weren’t sure what the crowd thought of you—perhaps you were another filler match to them until their long-awaited Uchiha/Sand-nin match.

“You sure you ain’t giving up right now? If not I’m sure they offer shared rooms so you can see your friend…”

“Match Two, Begin.”

           When your eyes rose to meet him, the world didn’t matter. All that was ahead of you was a certain payback to one ninja that had bloodied your teammate.

“Yeah, now send my regards to both of yours.”

[…]

            The ambush came on suddenly from the stands, and your remaining teammate managed to awaken you just in time to see Neji and Tenten rush out of the area behind Hyuga elders, the sand and sound-nin in full assault upon the remaining jounin stationed in the arena. Knowing your techniques, though still in their novice stage, could mean the difference between life and death for those in the surrounding area, you took a stealthy approach, utilizing your scalpel technique from hidden corners of the arena.

            Your match had ended swiftly, the endurance training you had begun with Neji and continued with Tenten allowed you to counter your opponent’s close-range poison abilities. You were almost always out of range from his clouds of gas until you had lured him in close enough for a finishing blow. He began to laugh until you whipped around in the last moment and shoved a syringe into his artery.

           You had prepared an antidote to his poison—one you administered directly to him, and as the antidote flooded his veins his poisonous gases were neutralized. It was only a matter of time before his actual sub-par Taijutsu was overpowered by your swift movements and precise attacks with the Chakra Scalpel technique. You shoved yourself to the ground to lash out at his Achilles tendon, and rolled to avoid his weight as it came crashing down. Standing over his hunched form with your hand primed with another scalpel just out of reach of the vertebrae on his neck, the match was officially over.

           Now, the stray ninja that came after you shared the same fate. You worked to disable their mobility when you saw an opening, leaving the more experienced Jounin to finish them off.

           As soon as it had happened, it seemed that the ambush was over. Only a few hours had passed, but those that were caught surrendered, those that were against retreated. Knowing you still had one teammate in your sight with minimal injury and another in the rehab wing of the hospital—he had inhaled far too much poison had needed recurring checkups on his lungs—your thought wandered to Neji and Tenten, hoping they were safe. You didn’t have much time to think as soon you were ambushed by multiple shinobi needing your assistance.

           Even as a novice in the coming months, you were stretched thin by Konoha Crush’s aftermath. There were days without a break, and you dreamed of your bed often. On a few occasions, you had passed out from chakra exhaustion, only to stubbornly pick yourself up after a short period to gather what you could and continue. No one stopped you, knowing that your skillset was too valuable to protest.

           Tenten came by now and then, and you sighed in relief when she told you that Neji was safe and sound—in fact, things had been apparently better since the attack. She told you of their meeting in the medical wing and you smiled warmly, happy she had been there for him.

           She also mentioned that she heard of your match and had shared the story with Neji, and you burned red, nudging her in the side for putting you on the spot like that. She laughed in their characteristic way and let on that in her limited abilities to read of the Hyuga, she had never seen a look so close to ‘impressed’ cross his face as when he heard about it. Tenten gazed at you for a moment, acknowledging that even if he hadn’t come to see you since the exams, it was likely because he was embarrassed by his actions before. Not that he would admit it ever because it was Neji, but she advised that you should see him sometime.

           Though your schedule was full enough that in the coming months that any hope you had of seeing your longtime crush and admired one fell to the wayside. In the distance, though, one day in the marketplace as you tiredly picked out ingredients for dinner, pearl-colored eyes caught sight of you through the crowd of people, tracing your every movement and expression with relaxed lids that spoke guilt. As soon as they did, though, they seemed to be self-aware enough to force themselves away, retreating to a familiar road home.

[…]

           Sasuke had left the village, and Neji had been sent after. They were back now…in the hospital. This was the news that came to you as you returned your report to the desk.

           You had been gone on your own mission. Otherwise, Shikamaru later told you, he considered your medical abilities as a valuable backup for the team. You couldn’t rebuke Shikamaru, seeing the look of defeat that he was barely holding back. You comforted him the best you could, but you couldn’t stop the question that spilled from your lips.

“Where’s…Neji?” You looked at Shikamaru, hopeful, only to see the broken expression of the man who looked at you with nothing but guilt hanging from the corners of his eyes. He bit his lip, knowing you wouldn’t like his response.

“He’s…in critical care. They’ve been working on him for the last few hours.”

            Those words echoed like a shot through your heart, and you rushed off before Shikamaru could utter another word. The halls were a blur, your heart thrusting against your ribcage, threatening to make its way through your throat if upset further. You had been in the hospital many times before for supplemental training, and knew the intensive surgical room had a short observation deck above the area that was walled off with glass. It was utilized for students that sat in on procedures, but family members made their way above as well. This time, though, the area was barren and you held your breath.

‘Neji had a huge family, where were they? The room was still in use. Had they left already? Were they wrapping up the surgery? Had something gone wrong? Those rooms were only empty if it was done, or if..no, no, otherwise if they had…been led out…because of….’

            Your hand went up to stifle the gasp as you saw the extent of his injuries. The nin were still working, but there were two large perforations in his torso, clean punctures through. That he hadn’t bled out by now was a miracle.

            The seconds staring at his injuries were the longest of your life. Time would only resume as normal when a hand came upon your shoulder, and you saw the face of the new Hokage herself.

“Oh Good, I was wondering who I would need to assign to take care of this one when he leaves surgery.”

Tsunade let a sly grin slide onto her face, and at once your worries retreated back, though they hung off in the distance.

“Will he…?”

“Make a full recovery? You should know that these things are never a hundred percent certain.” Despite the partial warning, Tsunade didn’t retract her confident grin and chuckled. “…but it might raise a few percentage points or so if you keep an especially good eye on him after. I’ve heard you’re probably the only one who can, given how this one can get a bit of an attitude, right?”

          You sighed in relief, and you felt Tsunade pat your back as she returned to her duties.

“In the meantime, it’ll benefit you to keep watch over the procedure. You might be doing it yourself, one day.”

            When the surgery finally ended, you let out a breath that you may as well have held for the whole session. Tsunade had long since left, but you had been joined by Tenten, Lee, and your teammates. The observation room rejoiced, your cheers startling the doctors below for a moment until they smiled at the enthusiastic group above that had been waiting on their friend.

            You hardly left his bedside for the days following, gently tending to some of his care when the nurses were swamped with duties. Changing bandages was now second nature to you, as were the rotations. The others occasionally came by, but none of his family came.

            This went on for two days until a quiet presence made its way through the door. You had hardly slept, so you weren’t sure you had imagined it at first until a meek figure peeked out around the curtain. You recognized her immediately.

“Nii-san?”

“Not awake yet, but maybe your presence will do the trick.” You smiled at Hinata, knowing that her attendance meant they had indeed made reparations in the time since the exams.

           She stayed for a while, and you made small-talk. Hinata was a sweet, kind-hearted girl. She was bashful even in person, but soon your conversation fell to the wayside when Neji began to stir. You both silenced immediately and Hinata waved her hands at you in flustered urgency, and you checked for his vitals. As soon as he had begun moving, he stopped, slipping back into unconsciousness. This began to worry you. You gave Hinata what reassurance you could, but she was obviously shaken by the event.

“I told you he’d stir! Now you just need to come back until he wakes up all the way!” You flashed a grin at her and she managed a meek smile in response, nodding gently before bowing and excusing herself out of the room.

           You hoped she really would return, given that she was the only family to pay him a visit since.

           That night, you told the nurses about his activity and they put him on watch for the night, closely monitoring for any additional activity or abnormalities. You begged to stay until they finally relented, warning you not to let the hospital head find out about your presence outside of normal visiting hours—you weren’t immediate kin or his actual teammate, after all. Still, it meant another nurse could divert her attention to other patients for the evening, and for that she was grateful.

           You felt hopeful that evening, but as the night drew to its zenith and still no change in his condition, you began to get inside your own head. That lingering “what if…?” echoed louder than it had in the days before. You visibly shook your head, frustrated, planting your face in the bed near his arm as you leaned over in your chair, trying to focus on anything but your overwhelming anxiety about his condition. The prospect of losing him, though…wasn’t one you were sure an eternity could prepare you to grapple with. You had to keep hope.

           At some point, you must have dozed off into a feverish rest, your head still tilted onto the bed. As you dreamed, you felt as though you were walking with a heavy weight upon your head. You kept attempting to shake it off, to move around in every way you could, but it wouldn’t leave. It was almost as though you had a headache, and suddenly the weight began to bounce on top of your head. A constant pounding of an invisible force shook you in your dreamlike state, until you realized you were no longer in a dream.

“…(y/n).”

           Your groggy state let out a small groan as you attempted to move, your body stiff from being in an impractical position for so long.

“(y/n).”

That voice.

           You shot up immediately, stumbling a bit as your body had yet to catch up with your consciousness and your eyes shot straight for the brilliant opal eyes of Neji, peering through half-opened lids at you, his hand resting on yours.

           He was nearly feverish in this state, though he wasn’t flushed and you knew he had no temperature. Coming out of a coma was always a slow process, not a dramatic event that stories always made it seem. It dawned on you that the thumping had been his hand, still with limited mobility, trying to get your attention.

           You cursed yourself that this of all times had to be the moment you fell asleep, and you quickly got to work with checking his vitals and going through routine questions. You had to repeat many of your questions and keep them as simple as possible—he still seemed to be in a state of semi-consciousness—and checking for any discomfort, pain, or sign of undetected ailments. Neji slowly answered and his voice grew stronger as you went along, until he was finally able to ask one of his own.

“Where…How long..?”

“Four days total since your mission. Well, if you include tonight.” You were testing his collarbone, noting how he winced at the lightest touch. Pulling loose the gown’s shirt for a better view, the area was still closed but had an ugly, dark bruise that extended from just below his collar, over past the top of his shoulder, and midway through his upper chest. You compared the length of the bruising around his shoulder to the measurements took previous. It was slow, but they appeared to be decreasing in size and lightening in color.

“Please tell me you didn’t stay…this whole time.” Neji swallowed dryly, flicking his eyes from your hands that examined his bruising and back to your face that was concentrated on your routines.

“I can’t lie very well, you know that.” You smiled at him, gently checking for his pulse and scanning the monitors for his brainwave activity. It was slow, but that was normal. Satisfied that he was in no more pain than expected, you poured him a small glass of water, doubling back over your shoulder to check his painkiller levels, and sat next to him. He needed some faint assistance raising his head to drink, but you kept your motions as gentle as possible. His hand reached up to cover yours as it gripped the glass, but you weren’t confident he could hold it just yet.

           He groaned in pain, letting his head fall back on the bed in partial exhaustion. It was almost ironic how tired he was given that he had essentially slept for four days. Without thinking, you caressed the messy hair out of his face, and Neji, in his half-awake state, leaned into your touch, closing his eyes. Your face flushed instantly as you froze. With a confidence you didn’t know you possessed, you leaned forward to kiss his forehead and Neji blinked, looking back up at you with an expression you couldn’t read.

“I’m…just glad you’re safe. I didn’t know what to do when I found out, and…just…” You babbled, not even sure of what you were going to say, while he gazed back up at you, your thumb running over his cheek for a brief moment before you caught yourself and turned away, trying hard to contain the heavy feeling behind your eyes that attempted to spill out. You retracted, rubbing your face, taking a deep inhale before a weak hand covered yours as it rested on the bed.

“(y/n)…Thank you.”

[…]

           Neji was a little stubborn when it came to medical care, only insofar as Guy’s teachings made him habitually push himself beyond his limits. While the hole in his chest and abdomen had closed, the soreness from those areas was ever present. One thing many did not understand about healing jutsu wasn’t that it was an instant cure unless you were someone like Tsunade. It was a forced regrowth of cells, and those cells were delicate until they took time to completely weave together. The deeper the wound, the longer it took for the cells to settle. It was as if you had only placed tightly-woven mesh made from thin fibers over the wound. The fragile new skin could reopen and tear if not cared for properly.

“You need to take care of yourself! For being a genius, you’re so…just…ugh, wreckless sometimes!” You finished tying the bandage on his shoulder around the same time you finished your lecture.

           You weren’t really mad—and he knew, judging by your pouting face as you hurried your care of his arm—but you were very serious about him being careful. You caught a small smile from him as he sat in silence, letting you complete your work, admiring how talented you had become. As you got up and turned to put your things away, you heard him chuckle for a moment before he let out a small sigh.

“I’m not sure there’s anyone in this world that will care for me as you do.”

You paused at his words, your brows raising in confusion. “What do you mean by that?”

“What do you think?”

           That statement had so many interpretations and all of them were just as ‘Neji’ as the last; you couldn’t figure where to begin. You turned away for a brief moment, your face contorting in many comical expressions of confusion as you sputtered out syllables in an attempt to fathom some reply. It wasn’t working, you needed to know more. You turned to question him, but his back was to you, silhouette suddenly much further than you remembered as he left without so much as a glance back. “Whe- Hey! Neji!” But despite your attempts, he was gone before you had even finished.

           You clenched your fists and pouted. There he was again, leaving without even letting you respond. For being in recovery, he sure knew how to make a swift exit.

“Hey! Seriously! Quit walking off when you make statements like that!”

[…]

            As soon as Sasuke left the village, it seemed not long after Naruto had as well. The village was relatively quiet for the next years, and once Neji recovered you made sure to not let your schedule get in the way of seeing him again.

            He always seemed to play off your insistence at coming to see him, but you could tell by the way he didn’t protest he actively enjoyed your presence. One rare occasion you had to cancel training plans on him for a mission, you could have sworn his ensuing silence was actually his form of pouting, if Neji were ever capable of such a reaction. When you tested the waters and asked to reschedule for your return, he agreed far too quickly. This surprised you, and you teased him about it, much to his chagrin as he resorted to ‘stern and silent’ once more.

             He had been more open in the last years, and you spent hours--made hours--to dwell in long conversation that became as natural as breathing. You didn’t know Neji could be so talkative, but while deep in a meaningful exchange you always were in awe at the thoughtfulness that came from him. Though you had grown up a bit, that admiration from you never completely subsided. 

             Neji also had brought new, more personal topics on his own accord with you when appropriate. Sometimes they caught you off guard, though you were incredibly attentive to him. In fact, sometime after he had recovered from the mission and knew that you weren’t obligated to stay around, he caught your attention with a strange request.

“Can we speak after training today?”

“I…ah…sure, is there something on your mind?” You tilted your head, now swimming with ideas about what it could be. The inner part of you was dancing with joy, shouting ‘Confession! Confession! Confession!’ but your clearly rational side rebuffed that idea as best it could, knowing that while Neji was occasionally considerate towards you, you didn’t get the ‘crush’ vibe from him. Then again, Neji was someone who knew how to hide secrets from you.

“Yes, you could say that. It’s a conversation far overdue.” He nodded courteously and you scrutinized every motion he made, trying to get a sense for what it was. No indicator of a confession. As he was back on the field and his focus diverted, you tilted your mouth to the side, crossing your arms and thinking as hard as you could.

            By the end of training, you were ready to sprint a mile to run off the energy that had built from your anticipation. Leave it to Neji to make you impatient. As the others left, you stood around awkwardly, pretending to be occupied so they wouldn’t hang around too long out of suspicion. When you felt a familiar presence behind you, your heart kicked into overdrive as you spun around, nervous and fidgety.

“Are you alright?”

“Y-Yes! I’m fine! I just, uh…I just have no idea what it is!” You held your arms behind you and bouned on your heel for a moment, chastising yourself and telling you to focus. Neji eyed you in mild interest before he took a breath.

“I owe you an apology.”

            Your movements stilled and you observed his features. He was straightforward as ever, his hands balled into fists, and his voice only speaking words he meant.

“You know you’ve never owed me anything.” You smiled at him, tilting your head. This was endearing and uplifting all at once. He really had changed for the better thanks to that fateful match, and you saw the progress before you. He had been gentler, his quick anger replaced with a serene maturity. Neji gazed at you for a moment before briefly closing his eyes to think as he returned his honest gaze to you.

“You’ve always said that, but I wonder…if you really know what support like yours is worth. What it meant…even if I don’t owe you anything, you deserve to be treated accordingly. Being the way that I was, saying those calloused things to you, knowing I didn’t truly mean them and I was lashing out, I was unfair to you. And you’ve always been patient with—” You held your finger up to your lips with a soft smile, and he silenced midsentence.

“You’ve changed for the better in such a short time, and believe me, I can tell in your actions that you mean every word and gesture. I don’t dwell on the past. Knowing you’re trying to change from the person that you were then…is enough of an apology for me. I forgive you, and…I want to see more of that person.”

           You were beaming at him. Neji’s cheeks dusted the fainted shade of pink, betraying his forcefully placid expression. It was always so adorable to see him hold back when his feelings were strong. It was the rarest sight, but you committed every moment like this to memory.

“You know, Neji…my admiration of you still grows every day.” You confessed honestly, enjoying the fact that the shade on his face became slightly more prominent.

“What do you mean by that…?!” He nearly stuttered; something Neji never does, and your smile grew wider as you gracefully footed your way around him, making your way for the town.

“What do you think?” You teased as you called back in the distance, Neji startled and frozen at once as you disappeared off.

“Cheeky…” He grumbled with a tsk, moving ever so hurriedly—but calmly—after you.

[…]

            It was nearly two years since the exams and you had spent your time building your strength, training, fulfilling missions, and if you were lucky, shadowing Tsunade when she allowed. You weren’t her formal student, but you took after Shizune, finding your strength in poisons and antidotes. Your skills had followed as well, shaping you into a much stronger shinobi than you once were, giving you a modest reputation.

            The second wave of Chunin exams came and went, resulting in Neji’s promotion to Jounin and your own promotion to Chunin. When he told you, you couldn’t help but erupt in a bubbly cheer of joy and congratulations, throwing your arms around him and giving him an impulsive kiss on the cheek. Neji was never more flustered in his life, resembling Hinata more so than his usual self. He immediately went rigid and halted responding for a few moments after you broke away from your half-second action, and you waved your hand in front of his face to be sure he was still breathing. This all earned you a stern lecture when he maintained his composure, though as you grinned your way through it you could tell that his heart wasn’t really in it.

            News of Naruto’s return and the Kazekage’s kidnapping hit the village all at once, and you were concerned when you realized Neji’s team had been called after the S-rank assailants. You bit your lip when he bid you goodbye, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder before he went to meet his team. He was older now, and his face was well-defined with gentle angles that your eyes loved to trace, leading back to his beautiful, iridescent eyes. You couldn’t look at him right now though, only grumbling as you fidgeted with your medical pack.

“If you scare me again like that Sasuke mission, I swear…” You meant to warn him seriously, but the hope and confidence you always had in him won out over your fears.

            A soft hand suddenly thumbed over your cheek and under your eye, giving you a gentle but unexpected reassurance. Your eyes met and you blushed. Neji was never openly…like this. And you both weren’t…you know.

“I’m coming back. On my feet, this time. I promise.” His hand left your face as soon as it had reached for it, and Neji blinked, the softest of smiles on his face.

You crossed your arms, pouting, but relenting.

“If you don’t and you break your promise, know that I know the most efficient poisons to keep you alive but moderately uncomfortable.” You huffed; your threat not serious in the slightest.

Neji chuckled, turning on his heel and bidding you goodbye, and so you began the long days of wait for his return, your heart slowly disappearing in the distance.

[…]

           You settled next to him on the engawa, taking in for a moment the gracious view of his silhouette against the wooden walls and backdrop of the gardens, and the gentle, meditative look on his face. You made sure to leave an ample space between the two of you, not wanting to press on his boundaries, but no sooner had you sat down, he turned his head towards you. His eyes motioned you closer—how did he always do that with just a glace?—and you complied, containing your enthusiasm, scooting slightly closer to him before settling completely.

          Neji observed you for a moment, and you could feel his eyes tracing out the contours of your face. You blushed a bit as you always did under his observation, and he let a soft smile. He secretly enjoyed that he could make you react this way.

          You looked to a recent bandage on his shoulder, revealed only by the sleeveless kimono top he was wearing. You sat down almost reflexively to adjust it, keeping your eyes focused on rewrapping the cloth. ‘For all of his genius,’ you smiled to yourself, ‘he’s only somewhat proficient at appropriately wrapping injuries.’

          Still, what weighed on the two of you was the news of the impending war that was coming. Squad assignments were being given, and very soon you would be in the fight for your lives. It made it difficult to enjoy the quiet moments like these, knowing that this would be a distant memory when you were on the battlefield. You were both tense. And for each of you, concern painted every move you made with one another.

“The war seems to be coming, soon.” You shifted the silence to calm conversation, knowing it was best to speak sincerely from the start. Neji lowered his eyes, the small smile on his face in gratitude that starting the hard conversations was always your strong suit.

“It seems that way.” Neji didn’t seem dismissive, though. On the other hand, his tone told you he received and reflected your own concerns.

“I’m… worried.” You confessed.

“I’m sure, war is never a joyous occasion.”

“No, I mean…I’m worried. For you.”

           Neji blinked, seemingly lost in contemplation at your words.

“You always are, aren’t you?” It was less a question and more of a statement of realization, one that seemed to echo deeper within him.

           The air was still, save for the soft fluttering of wings as two birds settled on the branch in front of you, letting forth the occasional chirp to remind you of their presence. Neji was reminded, too. Of a question that had hung in his heart for a long time, one he had always been afraid to ask. Was it fear, of the answer, though? Or fear that the answer could change everything?

           Now, it was perhaps the only time to ask. He had to know.

“….Why have you always cared this much for me?”

           You blinked once, wondering if you had imagined him saying it. When you turned your head to look at Neji, he wasn’t looking at you. His brow was furrowed and his gaze downcast, he seemed lost in thought. You put your hands down from the newly wrapped bandage, settling them on your lap as you blinked once, twice at him.

“Because… it’s you.”

“…That’s it?” He turned and blinked at you in surprise, his face turning to slight confusion, moving each syllable over his tongue as if he was more unsure with each word. “You’ve always cared because I’m…me?”

           You couldn’t help but smile. It almost sounded like a shallow answer given your history, but as you reflected on it, it was succinct, simple, and honest.

“It’s all the reason I’ve ever needed.”  You shyly looked away, keeping your head turned towards him. “I don’t think any honest affections for someone are solely based on what they do for you. I’ve never wanted, never needed anything from you. It was never about cost, or return, because those are woefully capricious and complicated things. This feeling is simple and constant. It is as it has always been.”

           Your eyes returned to his, absorbed in yours, while the smile on your face grew of its own accord. “And you, just as you are, have always been enough for me.”

           There wasn’t a word to describe the emotions that passed through his eyes, though his outer face was still. As if of their own accord and without his knowledge, the corners of his mouth twitched, curling up as he couldn’t hold back the soft joy that grew in his chest. Returning to his upright position and painfully aware of the slight tinge of pink on his own face, he returned his gaze forward and away from your searching eyes to avoid further embarrassment. His furthest knee drew up and he rested his elbow upon it, burying the lower half of his face in his palm. Though when he heard your quiet giggle, you saw a small smile return to his face and his eyes temporarily flickered towards yours before returning ahead.

“What about you, then?” You slid a little closer to him, thoroughly enjoying his bashful repose. And he knew it too, from the way you saw him sternly (but not seriously) quirk a brow at you. He lifted his head from where it had been covered by the hand.

“What do you mean?”

“When…?” You pouted a bit, halfway expecting his responding silence. You knew better than to force him to espouse his feelings before he was ready. “I never knew you cared this way…until recently. After the last time we had this chance alone. But it’s no wonder I was drawn to you, you’ve always been admirable in every sense. But I have to ask…with you, why…me?” You leaned forward, but he didn’t move, didn’t avert his gaze ahead. With a few moments of lingering stillness after your response, you turned your head forward in resignation, letting it be.

           At least, you thought, you would enjoy the serenity of the garden with him, knowing that what had happened minutes before—the lack of rejection—was a confirmation in itself. The only sound came from the two birds you had seen earlier, both sitting upon the same branch, seemingly having a conversation of their own, a song shared between the two of them. You were almost in a meditative state until his unexpected answer broke through the silence.

“You’ve only ever been who you were.” You turned once more to him, giving him your full attention. His answer wasn’t what you expected, either, though it sounded similar to yours. He was oddly reminiscent about an answer that should have been in the present, until you realized that it all went further back than you knew. 

“…Regardless of my actions towards you. And for my younger self, that was surely no small feat of strength.” He sighed, the tinge of guilt hanging in the air.

“Still, our world as shinobi is cold, and yet the warmth from you was constant. We are required to be cruel, but to me, you were ever kind. We must lie, but you’re forever honest with me…even when I was wrong. We must rescind all of our attachments, but you…refused to let me feel alone…” His voice trailed off, the last few words barely audible. His words were carefully chosen—as expected of the composed Hyuga. He gazed at the sky for a moment, lost in his thoughts, searching for those last words that echoed once, twice, so many times through all the memories of your past together.

“It is as you said. It’s always been just you, as you were. How could I…have fallen for anyone but you?”

           A fluttering of wings took part of your response, as the two birds previously nestled in the tree in front of you took flight. In tandem, they soared. You heard this, but only part of it. As soon as your eyes locked once more, time spun forward, weaving you both finally as one.

           In an action that Neji would later recount as perhaps uncharacteristic for him, he gently, tentatively, leaned down to place a chaste and unsure kiss upon your lips, lingering hesitantly to feel your response. As you pressed back, you felt a small hum or gasp—somewhere between—as if he didn’t expect that the person who had loved him all this time would wholeheartedly return it. No matter how new it was for both of you, the passion was ever apparent in the warmth of your lips that entwined deeper still, one hand lacing with his. Gentle movements of his thumb sweeping over your cheek and caused your heart to resound firmly in your chest as you clutched onto his shirt with your other.

           It was surreal, feeling your lips move together in tentative caresses, letting the passions of the moment take precedence over the need for perfection. The motions of the kiss grew deeper in a turn that surprised both of you, and you felt his cheeks hot against yours. Both of you were embarrassed, but this felt so right, and clumsy as it was the closeness that you both desired but now finally had was intoxicating. His lips were soft and better than any of the hazy daydreams that you remembered from when you were young. As he drew away, his eyelashes barely covering his lidded eyes, you found yourself longing for them the moment they left.

           Not content to let him leave, you pressed your nose against his in an affectionate gesture before he went too far. He flinched at the contact, but such was Neji and not the feelings he held. He leaned forward once more, resting his forehead against yours, enjoying your warm presence, taking a second to inhale and catch his breath from the romantic exchange. At some point his other arm came around you to press you flush against him. His motions were so slow and subtle you hadn’t realized he moved until you where there, in an embrace that felt heavenly.

“This close is really…” You mused, enjoying the contact along with the new opportunity to poke fun at the all-too-serious man that held your heart.

           Of course, Neji was more likely to assume you meant otherwise and he pursed his lips in shock, relinquishing all contact immediately before you caught him, throwing both arms around his torso and snuggling up to his shoulder. He let out a small sound of surprise, his arms drawn halfway up in the air. “I’m teasing!” His eye twitched again before he chuckled at the genuinely adorable reaction from you, finally relaxing and resting his arms around you once more.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” He sighed, complaint as genuine as his half-hearted attempt at agitation. You winked and grinned at him. Neji merely hummed in reply, his hand gently caressing your back as his head rested on yours. You were the only part of the world that existed to him then, and it was all he longed for. It was a moment he knew he would never forget, finally letting himself truly feel the warmth of the one who had always been by his side.

[henqtic]

FIVE INCOMING . STEVE HARRINGTON X BLACK!READER

word count: 1045 . warnings: pregnancy ( readers pregnant ), suggestiveness 

summary: tonight, you decided to hear what steve had to say to the baby.

note: i haven’t FULLY written anything in a little bit, this was the first thing i could write out in full in months ( rip half written draco and eddie blurbs in my drafts ) so this may be just a little dusty :)

— masterlist . taglist form . request works .

almost every night, at 10:27pm, you’d pause the music playing through your headphones, wrap the cord around them, unplug it from the cassette tape loaded with what you liked best, and place it on the side of your body. 

just to hear the sound of his keys jingling through his hands, not stopping until the right one getting pressed into the hole of your door. a smile would arise on your face, big and full at the long routine, tradition of him stepping out of those shiny work shoes, throwing the keys somewhere on the island in the kitchen, coming back with a warm glass of milk and kissing the very top of you hair.

“hey sweetheart, how was your day?” he’d ask, always glancing around your face, as if he'd forgotten any part of it the hours he was away, not letting the glow that bounced off of it from the shea butter you applied stop him

and he’d pull himself away for only a second to sit the cup down somewhere so that he could help you sit up from your resting position, with your head on the arm of the couch and black braids hanging down, in order to drink from the glass in a way that it wouldn’t spill all over you. 

“oh it was just the same,” you’d sigh airily, however unremarkable it was not mattering anymore since he was here now, “incredibly boring, lifeless, and peaceful without you in the house,” you raised your eyebrows with an enclosed smile at the slide in of the insult, holding out your hands to receive the warm cup.

a hum, an unconvinced, never offended hum, because he knew you were lying.

it was more exhausting really, a never ending cycle of lying around, cooking up about thirty different snacks that were all of the odd things you could find in your kitchen, reading up on the never ending lists of pregnancy, parenting, and birthing books steve had left around, and calling up his mom to get more and more insights into her boy as a baby.

“peaceful? without me? c’mon, [ your name ], wives don’t lie.”

“i’m not, y’know magazines are much better companions than you.”

“oh please,” he’d snort, and find a bonnet laying somewhere around to place on your head instead of having you lift your ever so fragile arms and do it yourself. 

once you were done, he’d take the empty glass from your hands, kiss the thick mustache it left, and leave it in the sink for the morning. 

he’d kiss you all the way to bed, from your forehead, to your eyebrows, eyes, cheeks, nose lips, hands, until you were tucked away in bed and he could shower for the next fifteen minutes.

he’d return, in nothing but his boxers and the soundless call to slip under the sheets with you, pull the blanket down to the start of your thighs, and lay his head on your rounded stomach so that he could talk with the baby growing inside of it like his best friend. although dustin liked to respond in forms other than kicks and languid movings.

the only difference tonight was, you’d usually be asleep.

you knew as tiresome dust and debris clouded your eyes, and the big read numbers of 10:50 beamed through it all. but this time, you thought to switch up the routine, just a little bit. only to hear whatever heartwarming things he had to say.

heartwarming being what you expected, this was more of heart collapsing, heart punching, heart stopping and revelrous reviving at the very chance it had heard something wrong as his talks and murmurs and promises stirred left. completely left, like a wrong exit that led you to another state.

“steve, six is way too many,” you whispered into his ear, an airy coat to your voice as you tried not to laugh out loud at the image of your baby and their five other future siblings sitting in the back of some van on some road trip he'd just come up with.

“honey it’s past your bedtime, just go to sleep,” he attempted to dismiss you, shushing you softly as he scooted his head further back so that your nails could dig further into his scalp.

“and six is past my pushing limit.”

“we’ve had six children before,” he tsked, twisting his body around to look up at you with those big brown eyes, all homey and squinted with that trace of feigning anointment and ignorance as you attempted to deny both of your skill sets, “lucas, max, dustin, will, mike, erica.”

“did i push any of them out of my vagina?”

“mentally.”

“steve.”

the minute you started dating him, it seemed that not only the title of mrs.harrington had slapped itself onto you, but also designated babysitter. honestly one of the best babysitting jobs you could’ve never got paid for.

“fine, fine, okay, what about. . . five?” he offered, furrowing his eyebrows together to make his fake attempt at a thought of compromise more believable. 

not working at you heckled out a sound that would make your neighbors think you were watching the comedy channel late at night.

so funny that it made your husband upset at the fact he couldn’t come up with that joke, face remnant of a brick wall with absolutely no sort of amusement quality to it. 

“okay, i’m sorry, i just– you think five it that much different than six?”

a straight lipped silence was your answer.

“look, how about this. . . three. four if i really need you.”

the squinting curtains he placed over his eyes rose as his spirits did, four was a big family, big enough for the two of you.

“four is a great number. but what do you mean if you really need me?” his voice echoed the regulation of your term, and he smiled amused at the implication. you nodded with a similar expression as you kept eye contact and continued rubbing his scalp.

“because every other day eating out isn’t needing me. . .”

“hey now, that’s only because it’s recommended for pregnant women.”

you weren’t quite sure if that was truth or lie.

“recommended?”

“mhm.”

“by who?” he challenged.

“any pregnant women you ask.”

🔖— !! @druigslover @cupids-crystals @i-love-scott-mccall @candiedfruits @enchqnting @kitkatkaitin @ravenclawslytheringirl @timmyslover @moonlitmeeks @uwiuwi @popeheywardssecretgf @jellyddog @wrongilbert @iwannafeelallthatloveandemotion @hemogloban​ @sydneekomspacekru @missryerye @nyx2021 @valluvsu @bunnyweasley23 @eichenhouseproperty 

… info to be tagged in future works 𓂅

༊ taglist form — fill out to be tagged/notified when works are posted )

༊ @henqticstudy​ — follow and turn on notifications for this blog to only get notified when a work is posted

[mrs-march-ahs]

Hii, angel! Soo, since you said that no one requested this yet, what about jealous Evan's characters?? 👀 Thankss, have a nice day! (Love uuu 💞💞)

The Evans Being Jealous

So many other fics of mine seemed to fit with this one! An unexpected fic that links well is The Evans Reacting To The Reader Coming Out As Bi, because most of them are jealous!

Sorry this took so long sunshine, enjoy! <3

--

Tate

-A ghost who would even remotely be interested in you, would be a threat to Tate -Think Gabriel at the end of Murder House -Tate would do everything he could, sob, threaten them, scare them, to make sure they knew you were off limits -If you found this attractive he would just awkwardly tell you that he’s doing it to protect you, that that guy would not treat you as well as he should therefore he needs to go -If you didn’t find it attractive, and found his possessiveness off-putting, Tate would get really upset -In his eyes, he’s doing it all for you, so he would sit and sob and complain to the ghost -Tatey is a soft, sensitive boy but if he had to, he would act tough in front of them   -When you and Tate argued about him doing this to every person remotely interested in you, he would get insecure and ask if you found them attractive -If not, he wouldn’t be that relieved because he’s a little insecure -If yes, oh god

Kit

-Pretty easily jealous, doesn’t like when other men even look at you -He would be super angry at them, shout at them, put his arm around your waist -Wouldn’t get into arguments but would just bark something like, “What are you staring at?” -Kit isn’t angry often so it would be insanely hot to you -But he’d be mad at you too -Any jealous situation would make him mad, at everyone -He would somehow try to make you feel as though it’s your fault for being attractive and catching the eye of others -But after he cools down, he would apologise -He never means to lash out or upset you but other men flirting with you or looking at you is the one thing that pisses him off -You may have to kiss him and cuddle him so he can hold you and know in his heart that you’re all his -Jealous Kit Fic

Frat Kyle

-At a frat party, if there was another boy flirting with you or giving you a drink he would just come up to you and put his arm around your shoulders, so it was easy to see for everybody else -Call you more pet names than usual -Baby, sweetie, my girl -If any guy continues flirting with you even in front of him, he’ll humiliate him as much as he physically can to make him seem unappealing to you - “Jeff nobody wants to see your dick, no matter how small it is” -As if you’d consider cheating on him

Franken Kyle

-When in public, Kyle always has his hand in your back pocket, mostly so he doesn’t get lost -You two hold hands a lot too so it’s clear you’re not single -But once in a while somebody will be inappropriate to you when you’re out with Kyle, because to most people he looks like hard work, and they don’t see the sweet boy inside -You two sit in a restaurant having dinner together and the waiter will flirt with you, ignoring Kyle completely cause he just assumes that Kyle doesn’t even understand -Even though Kyle can’t identify his negative feelings as ‘jealousy’, he knows he doesn’t like it -Pushes the waiter over or pulls him by his shirt away from you - “Stop…m-mine” -You’ll just apologise and leave together and Kyle will look back at the waiter and glare at him -Then once you get home you must give Kyle 120% of your attention -Don’t expect his arm off your shoulders for the rest of the day

Jimmy

-It takes the most out of the boys to get him jealous -Wants to see the good in people and will assume that you’re just being friendly, unless he’s already in a bad mood because of something else, or if the friendliness goes too far -50% of the time, he’ll get upset and insecure, thinking that his time with you is up and now you’re gonna leave him for somebody ‘normal’ -Other 50% of the time, his inner Florida man tells him he needs to fight them -Needs reassurance so he might seek your attention in negative ways, if you’re talking to a man with a smile on your face, even while just selling tickets, he’ll walk up to the two of you to assess the situation -“I’ll leave you two alone to get to know each other”, and then walks away just to see if you’ll follow him -You obviously do and ask him what his deal is -“If you’re tired of dating a freak and you wanna date somebody normal, at least have the decency to tell me Y/N” -“Oh my god Jimmy, where would you get that idea from? I obviously want to date you, I love you” -“Alright… just needed to hear that” -That night you need to spoon and cuddle and kiss -He’ll give you a few hickeys to mark you and you’ll do the same to him, making him melt completely -And if he’s mad, he’s mad -Definitely not foreign to bar fights -Would pick a fight with you when you get home just to get you annoyed and have angry sex with you

James

-Gets jealous incredibly easily -You weren’t even allowed to come to Devil’s Night for the first few years because there are so many creepy men around -He’d spot a man buying you drink at the bar -Cleopatra would warn you that he’s incoming probably -James would calmly walk over to the two of you and tell whoever you’re with that you are not interested -If he’s particularly in the mood, he might make some shitty comment - “She is a lady, and a lady needs more to be pleased than a 5”5 man and a Martini” -I have a very in depth fic about this situation, linked here

Kai

-Kai would be angry in front of them, a little shitty to you too -“You think a twink like you could ever score her?” -He would be sarcastic and condescending to you, like usual -He would explain to you how lucky you are that you have a man to protect you from creeps -After one time I don’t think he would kill them, but if they ever even looked at you again, they’d be dead -Probably take it out on you, but not in the same way as Jimmy, not in a protective or angry way but in a possessive way -He would punish you in any way he felt necessary like teasing you for hours and hours, telling you over and over how blessed and lucky you are to have him, and how stupid you are to do anything to ever risk losing him -He might fuck you and humiliate you enough with his words until you cry -Ways in which Kai might punish you -Getting Punished Fic

--

taglist, dm or comment to be added or taken away, i wont be upset:)

@milly-louise  @amourtentiaa  @kitwalker02  @tatestripedsweater  @therenlover  @maria-akira         @tatesimper  @thxc0untessesgl0ve  @mossybank  @ahsxual  @mxlti-fand0m-imaginess  @mrs-march-ahs-biggest-fan  @kitwalkerangel  @kitisagoldenretrieverboy @darlingkitt  @blackbat2020  @elaineygrace @kaiandersonskoolaid  @undeadcortez @whiiiiplaaaaash

[peekbackstage]

Heya Peek! You wrote in one of your replies that it is difficult for asian artist let alone a Chinese artist to hold a tour overseas. Can you expand a bit on that? Also adding onto to this, I understand that if we were to compare it with kpop, the western reception is quite different towards cpop/c-artist. Though has there been any c-artist who have achieve the feat of a proper world tour overseas?

Disclaimer: This post is informed by my experience in music. All of this is fact, not speculation.  

Hi! You always ask such great questions!

Let’s talk a bit about touring! 

For many artists around the world, touring is often the #1 income generating activity for an artist (unless they have a ton of really high-valued endorsements). Though it is exhausting, it is also very rewarding, as artists get to interact with their fans in a controlled environment and reap the rewards. It is is also a necessary part of the music ecosystem, as many tours tend to support album releases, which generate more sales. 

Many artists in Japan and China actually have very successful careers in their local markets and never have to even leave their home country to tour, because the size of their local markets are really just that huge. Artists from Taiwan, Singapore, and South Korea, however, do have to go outside their immediate local market to maximize their earning potential because their local market isn’t big enough. This is why Kpop is actually South Korea’s #1 export and contributor of South Korea’s GDP. 

For artists who don’t technically have to leave their country to tour, leaving comes with the risk of losing out on local opportunities and higher earning potential, especially if the overseas tour doesn’t come with the same dollar value as local tours. This is easily the very first hurdle all Asian artists have to overcome: passing up on local opportunities for the chance of developing a career abroad. 

The second hurdle that artists have to face is finding someone who will pay for the tour. The misconception that many people have about touring is that record labels or management companies are the ones who organize the tours and pay for them. This is completely incorrect. Instead, concert promoters are the ones who fund, organize, and produce tours. 

You see, all venues are owned and operated by a concert promoter. A huge majority of venues in the United States, for example, are owned by Live Nation or AEG. There are a number that are owned independently, but there’s no question that Live Nation and AEG are the biggest power players in the game. So in order to put on a concert, you have to deal with the venue owner, which is always going to be a concert promoter.  (Or a Chinese casino.) 

The reality is: without a concert promoter such as Live Nation or AEG or an independent promoter (or multiple local promoters) to help pay for a tour, major tours just never happen in today’s live music industry. 

The problem with relying on local concert promoters is that most of the time, local promoters are only willing to shell out money and take a risk on artists that have a track record. Often, they’ll turn to resources such as Pollstar Pro, which track ticket sales, box office revenue, etc. for live events per artist. Unfortunately, many Asian artists actually aren’t registered in the Pollstar system, and so this information is usually inconclusive. As a result, talent buyers for local promoters who are unfamiliar with Asian artists would need to rely on a few things:

Their own research on the artist to determine the artist’s market size, especially if this is an international artist who has never performed locally before

Their trust in the agent/individual who pitched the artist. The trust placed in the agent is actually a huge factor, especially if the agent has historically been able to demonstrate a solid track record of strong box offices.

If the Asian artist in question doesn’t have local representation via an agent or someone else who can pitch them to a buyer, then that means the only way they would be able to tour would be if there is an independent Asian promoter or talent buyer who knows who the artist is and is willing to take a risk. (The alternative would be for the Asian promoter to act as an intermediary agent, but that is literally another post in and of itself and is more complicated so I’m going to not focus on that for now.) 

So, let’s assume there is an independent Asian promoter who wants to take a risk on an artist who has never toured internationally before. Let’s further assume the Asian promoter already has all the money available to pay for this tour. They know who the artist is, sees that the artist is trending locally in their market, and believes that the artist can stage a successful tour. 

First, the promoter has to contact the artist’s management company and ensure that the artist has availability for the time period in which they want to tour. They also have to convince the management company to even be willing to consider the offer. At that point, they have to request the artist’s technical and hospitality rider from the management company so they can actually price it out.

Then, the promoter has to route the tour by securing venue availabilities. This is actually a lot harder if the promoter is funding the tour 100% independently because venues are unwilling to place “holds” on any dates for too long if the show is a rental and not one that involves their own talent buyer. So, the promoter has to act very quickly to secure a number of dates. 

Once the tour is routed, the promoter then has to send a lucrative enough offer to the company that will make the company feel it’s worth the local opportunity cost - and it cannot be a small amount or one or two dates, unless those two dates come with such a huge price tag that the management company simply can’t turn it down. The offer also has to have an entire list of cities, venues, venue sizes, and dates. This is usually delivered in the form of a deal memo to the management company. 

Deal memos for most Asian artists also always include the following: 

Artist guarantee per show 

Hospitality clause that includes 5 star hotels, international travel for X amount of individuals, including business/first class flights for artist (and potentially the artist’s security and manager), and luxury SUVs or comparable vehicles for internal transportation 

Per diem for X amount of people, including artist 

Cost of visas 

Attached tech and hospitality rider provided by artist management

Requirements for artist (i.e. XX minutes of performance, any meet and greets, any PR etc.) 

Now, at this point, if the management company agrees to the terms of the deal memo, they then turn this into a contract which is signed. Once the contract is signed, the promoter is responsible for paying the artist at least 50% of their guarantee as a deposit. They then need to begin working on securing the artist’s visa. This is actually the hard part, especially if the artist previously has never performed in the country. 

So, if we are talking about the United States as an example, as it is the biggest market in the West for Asian artists, the artist has to obtain either an O-visa or an H1-B visa. This usually requires a visa attorney who specializes in international artists who will actually get a letter from a Senator to recommend the artist for a visa. The artist then has to go to their embassy for an interview and their embassy side has to also approve it - especially if it’s a Chinese artist, so that sometimes requires lawyers on the artist’s side. If the visa doesn’t go through and is denied, and if appeals don’t manage to go through in time, then the tour is dead on its feet. So, a visa is really important! 

While this is happening, the promoter has to also work on obtaining a CWA (central withholding agreement) to avoid having to withhold 30% of income that would otherwise go straight to the IRS. If they do not succeed in obtaining a CWA that they can present to the venue, the venue will be required to withhold 30% of all box office proceeds at settlement. (Yeah, I know that’s kind of insane, but it’s technically the law.) This 30% would ultimately impact the promoter’s bottom line, and potentially the artist’s, depending on the kind of contract that is negotiated. (If the artist is made responsible for tax withholding, then the artist’s income will be hit negatively if the promoter is unable to or fails to obtain a CWA.) 

I can go into far more detail about all the promoter’s responsibilities from this point on, but you asked why it’s difficult for an artist to hold a tour overseas - and as you can see, even before we get into the actual technical production part planning for the tour, it’s already extremely complicated. Many Asian management companies simply do not want to deal with that kind of complication when they already know how things work from home and it’s a relatively “easy” paycheck. 

Touring overseas usually comes with a big cultural shock for the artist. Many Asian artists don’t enjoy the same level of fame abroad as they do at home, which means, they often don’t get the same level of care that they do at home. What their team can afford for them locally is not necessarily what the local promoter can afford abroad. Some artists who normally are used to a 5-star experience everywhere may sometimes have to settle for less and be comfortable with the idea of scaling down production, which not all artists are willing to do. (Scaling down on production is usually the #1 most contentious area of negotiation between promoters and management companies. The second thing that they tend to fight on is usually the hospitality rider, but that’s not often as bad as negotiating tech riders.)

Sometimes, the tech rider issue is such a huge problem that the artist will blow their tech budget entirely out of the water - especially artists and management teams who have massive egos and have a lot of trouble understanding they really are not as big of a deal as they are overseas. 

I can think of a particular Asian artist who performed internationally in the United States and insisted on actually shipping their entire stage that they toured with in their country to the U.S. Instead of renting locally, which would have saved a huge amount of money, they shipped the entire stage and all of the equipment. They also decided to fly out over 100 people, 30+ of whom flew first or business class with an average price of about $3000/per ticket. 

The promoter did such a bad job actually marketing the show that they were literally giving away tickets and even paying people to fill seats because of just how bad it looked to have an empty venue. 

It was a complete disaster. 

In any case, there are a lot more reasons why touring abroad is difficult for Asian artists, but as you can see, getting a tour off the ground itself is already insanely difficult - and we haven’t even gotten to the actual performance itself. 

As for your other question - I’ll have to ask that you actually submit that in a separate ask because this particular blog post has already gotten so long, and I think that is another conversation entirely! 

I hope I’ve helped to shed some light on some of the many difficulties that come with trying to stage an international tour for an Asian artist! 

[samayla]

A Losing Proposition

AO3

A S04E06 Window of Opportunity episode tag for @badstargateimagines​ as part of the @stargate-winter-fic-exchange​

They requested the guys playing Monopoly, but as I have never finished a single game of Monopoly in my entire life, I had to get creative. I took my inspiration for the vignette style from the format of the episode itself. Hope this soothes all your crack-fic cravings, dear!

Summary: Jack is just trying to find a game he can win...

“I do not understand the objective of this game, O’Neill.”

“The objective is to get rich, T.”

Teal’c turned over a crinkled, baby pink $5 bill. “I do not believe we can spend this currency in any establishment in your United States.”

Jack snatched back the bill and continued sorting out the money.  “It’s symbolic. Now, do you wanna be the shoe or the thimble?”

Teal’c gave him a look that said quite plainly he did not much care to be either one.

“Look,” Jack said bracingly. “I know it’s not much for choices. I’m partial to the top hat myself, but this is what we’ve got. This has gotta be better than another round of ‘Are you really sure I told you sun and not fire? I think it’s fire. Why would it be sun? Oh. It is sun. Would you look at that?’ with Daniel.”

Teal’c bowed his head in acquiescence and accepted the thimble.

“It’ll be fun. Trust me.”

***

 It was not fun. 

Teal’c beat the pants off him.

Twice.

It did not improve Jack’s mood in the least.

 ***

 “Um, sir?”

Jack, leaning carefully over the rail at the top of the safety ladder, held his breath as the tower of 2x4 segments swayed dangerously, then stilled. “Your turn, T,” he chirped, skipping lightly down the steps. “What is it, Sergeant?”

Siler glanced from Jack to the small crowd of onlookers who’d gathered on the ramp, and back again. “I was just wondering, sir, when my team and I might be able to complete our gate diagnostic?”

“Go right ahead,” Jack answered absently. He watched as Teal’c laid his block from the middle of the tower alongside his at top. The damn thing didn’t so much as wobble.

“But, Colonel,” Siler protested as Jack and Teal’c swapped places once more, “we —”

Jack shouted as Siler’s anxious grip on the ladder rail nearly cost him the game. The sergeant released the metal as if burned, and at Teal’c’s silent stare, he backed away several steps as well.

“Sorry, sir,” Siler said, “but it’s just that you’ve got our ladder, and —”

Alarm klaxons blared to life, signaling an incoming traveler. Jack cursed as he fumbled his block. All fourteen feet of the tower leaned first one way, then the other, then collapsed at the foot of the ramp with a crash that was drowned out by the stargate flaring to life.

Jack cursed again and stomped down the stairs.

“I believe another ‘Jenga’ is in order,” Teal’c intoned, somehow managing to convey an entire victory dance’s-worth of smug superiority with a single arching brow.

“Best four out of seven,” Jack grumbled, already beginning to clear space for the base of the new tower.

“Sir —”

“Siler,” Jack snapped, kicking blocks out of the way, his toes protected by the steel in his boots, “the gate’s fine. Consider your diagnostic complete and your ladder thoroughly commandeered.”

“But, sir���”

“That’s an order, Siler. Diagnostic complete.”

 ***

 “O’Neill, I do not believe you currently hold enough currency or property to win this round.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jack muttered, doing the mental math himself as he passed Teal’c a handful of bills for rent. They were thirty minutes into their latest game, and Jack was practically hemorrhaging money already.

“There is no shame in admitting defeat,” Teal’c offered serenely.

Jack suddenly wished he’d set up the board somewhere other than the massive conference room table. There was something cathartic about flipping a table and watching the de facto winner duck and cover in a hail of tiny plastic buildings.

 ***

 “Watch it!” Jack shouted.

Walter, in a show of shockingly quick reflexes, caught his fumbled stack of folders and leapt onto the nearest chair, like a 50s cartoon housewife who’d spotted a mouse.

Jack climbed down from his perch atop a file cabinet and into one of the office chairs.

“What is it, sirs?” Walter asked, scanning the floor anxiously.

Teal’c tipped over another file cabinet to make a bridge, scattering files across the carpet before he answered. “The floor has become covered in semifluid molten rock. If you touch it, you will die.”

Walter stared blankly for a moment before chuckling a little nervously. Clearly, he wasn’t sure whether to take the threat seriously or not.

“Just stay put, Walter,” Jack ordered. He shoved away from his file cabinet, but the wheels on his chair were no match for the carpet of the briefing room. The chair toppled, but Jack launched himself out of it as the back hit the ground. The edge of the conference table forced the breath from his lungs, but he hung on and hauled himself up onto the tabletop after a moment.

“O’Neill,” Teal’c called. “Are you well?”

Jack gave him a thumbs-up from where he was sprawled, though he suspected Teal’c might be winning this game, too. “All good, T.”

 ***

 “Uh… whatcha doin?” Daniel asked warily, peering up over the top of his notebook as Jack erased a huge swath of Ancient text from the blackboard.

“Quitting.”

“Jack, you can’t just—”

“Can,” Jack corrected, sketching out a quick grid. “I can, in fact, just. We’ll start this all over again in a couple hours anyway. T— X’s or O’s?”

 ***

 “What the hell is going on in here?” Hammond demanded as he entered to briefing room to see nearly a dozen of his personnel perched atop various pieces of overturned furniture in what looked to be the epicenter of an explosion.

“Careful, General,” Walter shouted. “Don’t touch the carpet!”

Hammond jumped back over the threshold to the concrete of the hallway. “Why not?”

“There is some sort of semifluid, rock-like substance on the floor, sir,” Captain Rodriguez answered, wobbling a little in her chair as she snapped into a salute at the general’s tone. “There seems to have been a containment breach from one of the labs. Not sure how it got all the way up here, but it seems confined to the carpet, at least for now.”

“Why was there no alarm?” Hammond demanded. “Colonel O’Neill?”

Jack held his hands up helplessly from his seat on the bookshelf, to which he and Teal’c had retreated to watch SG-9 fumble their way through the ‘containment breach.’ “Peters knocked the phone off the shelf, sir.”

“The handset appears to be broken,” Teal’c added.

“We were trying to contain the substance using pieces of furniture, General,” Peters offered, desperate to salvage his image in this bizarre situation.

Hammond’s reply was cut off as the alarm blared and electricity crackled to life around the stargate once again.

“Best. Loop. Ever.”

“Indeed.”

 ***

 “We seem to have reached an impasse,” Teal’c said.

“We call it a ‘cat’s game,’” Jack answered.

“Why?” Teal’c asked. “I see no cat.” He cocked his head to the side, as if he might discover a hidden image on the board.

“You know, I have no idea,” Jack admitted.

“Actually,” Daniel offered without looking up, “there is a theory that it’s called a cat’s game because tac spelled backwards is cat. Other theories tie it to the idea of a null or scratch outcome, like a cat’s scratch, while a third camp—”

“I thought you were pouting,” Jack cut in.

“I wasn’t pouting,” Daniel answered. He flopped his sheaf of notes dramatically on the table. “I just don’t understand why you’re not more concerned about this.”

“About a tie in tic-tac-toe?”

“About the time loop, Jack!” he shouted, throwing his pen down as well. “Teal’c, you’re with me on this right?”

“We have endured the loop a great many times, Doctor Jackson,” Teal’c said. “We will undoubtedly endure it many times more before the translation is complete. Panic has not yet improved the situation in any significant way.”

“But you can’t just give up!”

“Sure we can,” Jack declared brightly. “We get a do-over no matter how this turn out, so why worry?”

“Why worry?”

“Cheer up, Danny-boy: you won’t remember this in a couple of hours, and I promise we’ll get right to work next time. T, I’m X’s this time.”

 ***

 Jack ducked as red and green houses went flying across the commissary, raining down on the unsuspecting diners.

“You are correct, O’Neill,” Teal’c said, righting the table again. “That is indeed a much more satisfying ending to the game.”

"I told you it'd be fun."

[humancupid444]

Tuesday, December 28th, 2021

12:23pm.

PenPal, Hi!

Keep this between me and you but iv’e been smelling ketchup.

Yes, even metaphorically.

the stress of being a woman. Meditation is the way I fight.  I just jumped out of my meditation to write this all down. After I yawned I heard something blow through my ear.

I really want one of those game sets where you can use a toy scalpel to dig at a block of dirt until you find a crystal. I saw one at my old job. It’s 5:99. God let me get realistic, I don’t know how I’m going to drive back to Washington. It’s snowing a lot. And my car doesn’t get snow. Shit I needed to call my dad and grandma.

I’m doing my dishes now penpal. I made really good grilled cheese. Rosemary sourdough, with olive garden ranch on the sides that touch the pan, and generic brand sliced cheese. I think my dream job is to become a tumblr writer.

Song: So Good At Being in Trouble

I wonder how my soul family is doing. I feel very connected to my spirit angels today. I am also packing. In another perfect life I am weaning a turtleneck and have a car that can withstand snow. But for now I put my clothes in yummy smelling trash bags Even the stained ones.

I put more stuff in my car yesterday. I smeared my nails when they were still wet.

I must finish packing my belongings into my car. I will also give trinity my bong

Good Tourture

I literally just saw the day get brighter.

Do I constantly have anxiety eating at me? I am having an identity attack.

I can’t figure out how to move my life back to seattle. I’m worrying. Like mad. But I spoke on the phone with my parents about our options. I am in a situation where I have to sell everything. The only problem is that I can’t find people to buy the items. Do I donate everything and request a tax refund. How tragic is that, my life gets swiped. PenPal I’m grateful to have this moment. I am blinded by romantisizing my time. No money gets made. I am living this way now, and I believe past me wanted to see me now. Except experiencing this present moment is also painful. I find it interesting how I found a positive and a negative so quickly. Also I just realized the only negative I can share is through self-hatred. These words might now sit lightly on the mouth. My sould feel fragile today. I’m obsessed with this move. I dont want it to happen. Maybe I can work a low-income job for a few more months… Even the universe needs me to make more money. I need to make a plan.

I am making a plan to make an abundance of money because I feel stuck.

Someone is picking up a piece of my furniture today. I really hope I didn’t pressure her into buying it. I am making an abundance of money fo

My higher power includes making an abundance of money.

My higher power includes a plan for making an abundance of money.

My higher power includes security

My higher power is making paintings and selling them.

Anything is possible.

The art of life

If I could do this for the rest of my life I would be complete… Right now I’m below rock bottom. So below I started enjoying rock music.  I see this burning. This dream has potential. I can maybe start to manifest my dream life. Except I need to make a plan to earn the money first. I can imagine people dancing in their success. It haunts me like a bee sting. I love it though because I know it exists. The thought is like a blanket covering my mind but the actual dream feels so so far away.

It’s 3:50 pm. Can I fantisize about my happiness? God I did not turn out to be a team player. My character thrives in fantasy. Maybe that’s why I love learning about philosophy. Or even anything that explains the real reasons behind why anything exists. Maybe people can understand me through the sky.

It’s funny how there are those who look for answers down on earth. Then there’s the people who look for answers in the stars.

Hi PenPal, the sunset right now is nice. The colors include pink. a baby elephant pink. Dark blue, a sly blue, a while blue. My roommate dog is very curious. I like there is a medium animal that sometimes approaches you. And it has the cutest eyes so I forget that deep down he has the urge to bite my hand off. In the clouds I see a submarine, a bird.

How has social media consumed my time?

Shadow man is a reflection of a brain that consumes media.  I can

Are you connected to any art dealers that would like to buy my paintings. I know there are far more talented artists out there, but learning the art of painting is what I’m passionate about. It would mean the world to me if you could get me connected to someone interested. Thanks and happy new years!

I am interested in making a magazine/ book that has pages full of poems, photos, journal entries, drawings. Shadow Man is something nice  to look at.

Shadow man gives a smile to the blessed.

Hi penpal I was guided to make a 7 year timeline of my life.

Well I’m a little overwhelmed but I want to give it a try.

But before I do, I’ll tell you what I made for dinner.

I took leftover rice and added soy sauce, onion powder, basil, oregano, cucumbers, green onions, and yellow onions. All it’s missing is red and green peppers. I’m eating it with a large slice of rosemary sourdough. I want seconds. I’m terrified of filling in the blanks. I could stay in California for longer if I needed to. And it feels like I need to because of the snow storm. But it wouldn’t be easy. I would have to find someone to stay with and find a job. I’m consumed with my tiny personal projects.I am fighting the feeling that I am wasting life. How negative. I really must believe in myself on a more subconscious level.

I still haven’t competed the timeline 9:15pm. I finished a small walk. I am hearing the affirmation “STOP”.

2022

Earn yoga instructor certificate

Coninue networking for art dealers

Sell my lady flow painting for $12,000

Sell my 2 paintings for $7,000

Finish butterfly bead piece

2023

2024

2025

2026

2027

2028

All I have is time ahead of me. I must create my reality. Fill in the column on the right side of the page with what you want to accomplish in your life.

PenPal, there was something I had to tell you.  I’ll eventually rember. I almost continued loading my stuff into my car. I am waiting for my date to pick me up. I am having a good day. I am happy I am making the most of my time.

I think I would rather be overbooked with stuff than have nothing to do.

I am deeply connected to doom.

I have to be home at 11pm to sell my crystal case. It’s gween.

My face is heating up and my date is here. I need a tissue and I guess I’m going to go now.

Okay so… hi PenPal.

The date came to an end. I was expecting to spend hours with that person. No more excpecting.

I heard I was a secret. I make men run away in tears. I don’t think I can date for a while.

I’m eating a bagel with cream cheese. I honestly feel like my soul has been dipped in scum and this current life I'm living is me experiencing all the sum I can scrape off my soul. This makes me believe in past lives.  Ilike keeping a record of my spiritual awakenings. I can express them through art.

It’s like I can talk with myself. I enjoy writing to you, PenPal. I need to get up and find my bag so I can go on #Instagram. My friend posted photos of me. And I want to download them to my phone.

I wonder what red flags he saw in me. These are my vending machine thoughts

Photo idea. Vending machine with a fairy making a purchase and the text “ I wonder what red flags he saw in me”.

I think I just heard someone fall out of their chair. Also I made $100 today. Everything about today has been spectacular. I even got the feeling that the worst thing that could happen is I cry myself to sleep. It feels cool to familiarize yourself with pain.

How is my life right now, just life after highschool. Honesty I feel like I fucking fell asleep and woke up a slut. I was supposed to say artist.  

This is still frustrating. I need to get up now. I swear the universe is jealous. Or at least mine is.

My “who cares” character gets put into exercise quite often. I feel like pain is healing in another form. Simular to love and hate, where we can say they’re both powerfully equal. Maybe when you’re experiencing pain it’s because you also experience feeling healed.

Feeling healed to me is like when you’re doing your job right. Or riding your bike when you were a child. But or buying a new pair of shoes. Or not wearing shoes when you’re not supposed to. Or walking through grass without any shoes. Or when you’re walking and you almost step on a slug. But then you don’t because you were able to move your foot fast enough. But now I’m wondering, does the slug feel the pain? Did he sense his own fear and begin to experience pain? Was the fear painful? Do slugs sense fear in that way? Being so open as an artist has brought me so much freedom. That being said, the world doesn’t love me. The world doesn’t love free women. Or maybe the world loves them too much and cannot find a way to let go. Does the world need to be freed by women? My universe definitely needs a spell fixed. My angels keep me safe. My angels provide me with abundance. My angels provide me with an abundance of wealth. My angels provide me with excellent decision making skills. Before tonight I have to meditatie. I have to shower. And make everything feel more alright. It’s time I start getting ready for bed. Goodnight PenPal. I need to find my sloth and hug it omg

[doyourememberrocknrollradio]

The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony

The Verve initially negotiated an agreement to use a five-note sample from the  orchestral version of the Rolling Stones’ “The Last Time” in 1997 but ended up basing the entire track around it. Former Stones manager Allen Klein (who owned the song’s rights) sued the band and settled out of court. The Verve believed it would be a 50/50 split as the lyrics and melody were completely original. Even then, the tables turned on the Verve, with the Stones going back on their 50/50 split of the royalties and demanding all of it - even though the lyrics and melody were completely original. "Then they saw how well the record was doing they rung up and said, 'We want 100 percent or take it out of the shops, you don't have much choice.'" reported bassist Simon Jones. ABKCO Records, Klein's holding company, had writer & lead singer Richard Ashcroft  sign over his rights to Mick Jagger and Keith Richards

Then in 1999 Andrew Loog Oldham, another former Stones manager who owned the actual recording that was sampled, sued the band in 1999 for $1.7 million in mechanical royalties. Contending he owns the orchestral recording of the Stones' "The Last Time" that was sampled. It is believed he made a deal with ABKCO and was given royalties.

The only publishing money that Ashcroft has ever received from “Bitter Sweet Symphony” is $1,000, which he was paid as part of the settlement deal.

Fast forward TWENTY ONE years. Steve Kutner and John Kennedy took over managing Richard Ashcroft. The thing at the top of their task list was to settle the 21 year grievance over “Bitter Sweet Symphony”. Kutner appealed directly to Jody Klein, who took the reins at ABKCO following his father’s death in 2009. Klein didn’t entirely dismiss their request but suggested they speak to Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. Kennedy met with Rolling Stones manager Joyce Smyth. “The most likely outcome was that nothing would happen. That Joyce would say, ‘John, what upside is there for me in going to my client and asking them to give up one of their income streams?'” recalls Kennedy. “But she got what was wrong about all of this and, knowing her clients very well, she also thought that they would get that this is wrong.” The managers received a call from Smyth in April 2019 saying that both men “completely agree” with Ashcroft’s request and they would henceforth sign over their share of the songwriters’ royalties from “Bitter Sweet Symphony” to its composer and that going forward they would no longer receive a writing credit on the track. Kennedy says that in addition to signing over their rights, Jagger and Richards have requested that Klein and ABKCO “make a reciprocal gesture.” Kennedy credits Joyce Smyth as the heroine of the story. “Without her this simply would not have happened.” After Ashcroft won a commendation for an outstanding contribution to British music at the 2019 Ivor Novello Awards, he announced that he was able to secure the rights back to “Bitter Sweet Symphony.” Here’s his statement: It gives me great pleasure to announce as of last month Mick Jagger and Keith Richards agreed to give me their share of the song Bitter Sweet Symphony. This remarkable and life affirming turn of events was made possible by a kind and magnanimous gesture from Mick and Keith, who have also agreed that they are happy for the writing credit to exclude their names and all their royalties derived from the song they will now pass to me.

I would like to thank the main players in this, my management Steve Kutner and John Kennedy, the Stones manager Joyce Smyth and Jody Klein (for actually taking the call) lastly a huge unreserved heartfelt thanks and respect to Mick and Keith.

Music is power.

In a statement, The Rolling Stones acknowledged that Ashcroft had been denied the rights to "one of his most iconic songs, including the lyrical content" for more than two decades.

"Of course there was a huge financial cost but any songwriter will know that there is a huge emotional price greater than the money in having to surrender the composition of one of your own songs. Richard has endured that loss for many years."

As it currently stands, ABKCO remains the sole publisher of “Bitter Sweet Symphony.”

The portion of the symphonic Rolling Stones’ song was written by orchestra arranger David Whitaker, who has not been credited on any of the recordings.

[darlinvandijk]

Phone Call

Concept: a request where you’re really missing Ruel and really sad/not doing well and he calls and just comforts you and makes it all cute (aka just really fluffy Ruel because hes an angel and we all know it). just like usual send me a dm for a request and whatnot and I’ll be happy to comply (btw this is long as fuck so I apologize) Hope you enjoy :)

Today marks 3 months since the last time I saw Ruel, or at least the last time I saw him in person. He’s on his world tour, but I wasn’t able to go with him like planned, since I had too much school work that I’d need to do, and knowing us we’d never make time for me to actually do it if I went.

So that’s where everything has led up to me at this exact moment, where I’m justsitting in my room after a long day of just everything going wrong, like call me dramatic but today has literally been the absolute worst. I got a D on my sociology test, dropped my tea getting out of the car this morning, got sharpie on the sleeve of my favorite white hoodie, and worst of all just missing my favorite boy more than ever today.

I pull my blankets tighter around my body, trying my hardest to not let my emotions get to me, because I know today wasn’t as bad as it seemed, I’m just a little touchy today making everything seem worse than usual. I let out a choked sob as I feel the tears start to make their way down my face, knowing that there’s no way to get out of the complete mess I’m about to become.

Right as I breakdown, I hear the ping of my phone, alerting me that I got a text. Guess who it is, oh wait we all know it’s the giant oaf I call my boyfriend.

Hey baby, I miss you a lot and thought I’d let you know Hi bubs, I miss you too, what’re you up to? In my hotel room, finished everything I needed for the day so all I have left is soundcheck and the concert tmw Excited for the Paris show? Mhmm, enough about me, I want to talk about you Eh nothing exciting, pretty boring day today. Are you okay love? You seem a little off I’m okay, just tired that’s all

As soon as I send that text, my screen lights up with an incoming phone call. I give myself a few seconds, trying to contain the sobs and tears so that Ruel doesn’t notice, he doesn’t need the extra stress of worrying about me. As soon as I pick up, he’s already talking and throwing questions at me.

“Baby what’s going on? I know you’re lying to me, just because I can’t see you, doesn’t mean I can’t tell. Are you okay? Did something happen? Do I need to fly down or fly you out here? Baby-“ Ruel rambles with anxiety lacing his voice, causing the tears I was holding at bay, to be released. I let out a small whimper as the tears pour out, instantly causing him to stop talking and cut off his sentence.

“I’m sorry, I’m honestly okay, just a little emotional today” I mumble out, not able to talk loud with my voice shaking so much. I hear him let out a sigh before he starts talking.

“Babygirl, tell me the truth. I know it’s more than just that, please talk to me baby. I can’t help you if you don’t let me.” He pleads, knowing that I’m never like this, even if I am emotional sometimes.

“I just really miss you, it’s been three months, and today was just horrible. Nothing went right for me Ruel. I basically failed my soc test, dropped my drink everywhere this morning, and then I got fucking sharpie on your white hoodie. You know it’s my favorite” I cry out, finally letting all my emotions out, knowing he’s the only one that’ll truly be able to talk me down from my breakdown.

“Baby, you can retake the test, one test won’t ruin your life, you’re too smart to let something like that fuck you up. I’ll send you money to get a new drink tomorrow if that helps, and babe it’s just a hoodie. I’ll buy you 50 more of that exact hoodie if it’ll make you happy.” He states, trying to reason with me to make me feel better. I let out a whimper, because none of those things are going to make me happy. I just want my boyfriend back.

“I don’t want any of those things ruel!” I sob, causing him to take in a deep breath, finally realizing what the source of the issue was. He gives me a few seconds to calm my breathing before asking me a question.

“Then what do you want princess? Name it and I’ll make it happen, I promise.” He states with so much conviction in his voice, that I almost believe it.

“I want you. I want you back home with me. I don’t want more hoodies because I want yours, I want the ones that smell like you and have all the tears and stains because you always seem to trip or spill something on them. I just want you.” I whisper out, feeling completely broken for the first time when it comes to having a part time long distance relationship.

I hear him let out a sound of distress before the call hangs up. I stare at my phone in shock, not able to comprehend that he just hung up on me. Before I can lose it, I get an incoming FaceTime call. I answer it while pulling the blankets over me so that he can barely see me, as I set my phone up against my side table, so that I don’t have to hold it while talking to him.

Ruel sits there, with his phone in a similar position, letting him just lean back and watch me. I see the slight crease between his eyebrows, letting me know he’s stressed out because of this.

“Hi baby, I wanted to see that pretty face of yours, but I can only do that if you move the blankets.” He says with a small smile on his face, causing me to rapidly shake my head, really not wanting him to see me like this.

“I look ugly. My eyes are probably puffy and my face is splotchy from crying. Like I’m literally still crying, so I don’t want you to see me” I whisper back, feeling completely insecure, even though he has seen me cry countless times over the length of our 2 year relationship.

“First of all, you’re never ugly. I don’t care if you go bald and even lose your eyebrows, you’ll still be the prettiest girl in the world. Let me see that beautiful face of yours, or I might just lose my mind” He says, trying to joke with me to make me feel better. I let out a quiet laugh at how dramatic he’s being, causing him to instantly breakout in a grin, knowing he’s finally reaching me.

I pull down the blankets from around my head, causing him to just watch me, with a look of awe on his face. He looks at my slightly puffy and red rimmed eyes, my hair that’s in a messy falling apart bun, and the red splotches around my face from crying so much. He also takes in the tear streaks that are going down my face, still managing to think that I’m the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid his eyes on.

“Fuck you’re gorgeous” He says with a lovestruck grin on his face. I immediately roll my eyes and try to cover my face, hoping he doesn’t notice the way my face turns red from his compliments.

“Shut up Rueloff, you’re just saying that to make me feel better” I retort, making him lean back with a hand over his heart like I shot him.

“Excuse me baby, I don’t lie. You’re fucking beautiful, like I have the hottest girlfriend in the world if I’m being blunt about it.” He laughs with a boyish smile on his face, causing me to throw my head back with a laugh. Loving the way he looks at me, with that little twinkle in his eye.

“I miss you. I really miss you, please come back” I mumble with a small sad smile taking over my face. I see him straighten up from my change in mood, before he tilts his head to the side and gives me a small loving smile.

“I’ll be back before you know it. I miss you more than anything baby, I have an idea but I’ll tell you about it soon, I just need to talk to Nate and figure some things out.” He mumbles with a smirk on his face, letting me know he’s up to something.

“Okay, I can’t wait to hear about this idea of yours” I laugh out, trying my hardest to ignore the way he’s looking at. I see his eyes shift down to the hoodie I’m wearing, since the blanket fell off my shoulders.

“Baby you can barely even see the sharpie on the sleeve, but don’t worry I got about 3 hoodies here that I’ll make sure you get, smell just like me and one of them even has some mystery stain on it” He says with a big smile causing me to snort at the fact that he’s such a mess.

“Ew bubs, you can keep the mystery stain one.” I say watching him glare at me, for laughing about his dirty hoodie. He looks me over again and just smiles. I look down and play with my fingers, not liking how intense his gaze is.

“I love you” he says, with the biggest smile on his face. I look up at him and slightly tear up again as I just stare and wonder how I got such a beautiful person to love me and all my faults.

“I love you too, more than anything.” I reply with as much love as possible, hoping he can hear and feel how much I truly feel for him. He gives me a breathtaking smile, before turning a cute shade of pink from blushing.

“Stooop you’re making me blush” he whines out, trying to give me a glare but ruining the act by laughing. I smile at him as I watch the way his eyes light up as he laughs, the way he tilts his head to laugh but watch me at the same time, the way he looks at me like he’s seeing me for the first time.

We talk for another hour or so before hanging up since he had to go and get food, because Nate told him no more room service. I sigh a little bit once we end the call, before realizing I’ll be okay, a little distance for a bit won’t hurt us.

Two weeks pass by before I get a phone call from Ruel, I stare at the screen with a perplexed look, considering we just got off the phone an hour ago. We talk every single day, but he’s never called me before without sending a text first to make sure I’m not doing anything, I start to get nervous thinking it’s an emergency.

“Hello? Ruel are you okay?” I instantly spew out with anxiety lacing my time before he can even get a word in. I hear him start laughing on the other end of the receiver before hearing Nate yell at him to hurry up.

“Haha babygirl, calm down. I’m okay and I’m not hurt. I can finally tell you the idea I had, well not an idea anymore since I made it reality.” He says, I can literally hear the smirk in his voice, instantly causing me to roll my eyes at his cocky tone.

“Okay Rueloff, what’s this amazing plan that you have?” I sassily reply. I hear him start snickering, causing me to become weary since Ruel only has that laugh when he’s about to do something crazy.

“Ohhh babygirl I don’t think you’re ready, are you ready? Like really ready? Like positively ready? I don’t think you are” he basically sings out, with pure excitement filling his voice. I feel myself getting filled with anticipation on what my crackhead boyfriend is about to do. Before I can even reply to him to shut up and tell me, my phone gets an alert.

“Look at the text” He basically screeches out, causing my to fumble and put him on speaker so I can still hear him as I check the message. What I see leaves me shell shocked, I was expecting a new collab with an artist I love, not him to completely go all out.

“Oh my god Ruel what” I choke out with tears pouring down my face, a few sobs coming out from the overwhelming emotions I have running through me.

“That’s your boarding pass for tomorrow, see you in Norway baby” He shouts, his voice wavering, letting me know this gap of not seeing each other and finally getting to reunite is affecting him as much as it’s affecting me.

That’s how a little over 24 hours later, I end up falling asleep in the arms of my beautiful boyfriend. Listening to his quiet breaths as he holds me as tight as he can. Feeling his soft skin and taking in the moment, the moment where I truly got to feel whole again. I finally drift off, hearing the quiet “I love you” and feeling the soft kiss to my temple, letting me know I’m back where I’m supposed to be, with my soulmate.

[kitchenremodelingatlanta41]

Determining a Kitchen Remodeling Budget

Kitchen remodeling atlanta

It is crucial to determine a financial budget for almost any do-it-yourself project, and kitchen remodeling is no exception.

A thing of caution: I spent many hours researching kitchen remodeling cost and budgeting online to gather data just for this article. I ran into a couple websites that gave size pricing for kitchen remodeling. Although I commiserate using attempt to find an easy method to discover remodeling pricing, this type of advice is just not operating out of reality. Remodeling jobs in general are really specific towards the conditions in the building and tastes from the homeowner that no square footage pricing will ever starting point. Also i bumped into many websites that didn't provide you with any real details about starting a budget but basically interpreted Hanley Wood's Remodeling Cost vs. Value report that is published each year. You happen to be much better off visiting the Cost vs. Value report web evaluating the results by yourself.

home remodeling marietta

Like whatever else on this planet a kitchen remodel is going to are more expensive than you thought it would and the sky is the limit on the it may cost depending on you. There are multiple factors which are into determining a remodeling budget.

There are many web sites you can check out assist you to begin a basic budget number to start with. My personal recommendation is Remodeling Magazine's Cost vs. Value Report which is released by region and major city every year. The truly nice point about this report is it offers a description in the "average" project to help you gauge if your kitchen remodel will almost certainly fall below or above the benchmark. Also i find their average pricing to be a definative reflection with the pricing for the company, so by recommending to clients before I even meet with them which they investigate this report these are prone to generate a realistic budget we can easily work within to provide them a fantastic kitchen.

Custom Hutch developed with Semi-Custom Cabinets

While Remodeling Magazine's report is extremely helpful, it is still an incredibly one size fits all approach to generating a budget. Read on if you would like try and hone your numbers somewhat.

Get out a pad and paper and take note of a number of notes about each factor as you go along through their list:

Factor 1 Home Value- Consider not only what you think your property is worth, but the price of similar homes in your town that already have updates. The best site to check house values is zillow.com, simply enter your address and you also receive an interactive map with house values as well as other information listed directly on the map. Pay attention to which homes are of similar size to yours, happen to be purchased lately, but have a higher value, then peek inside their windows to see just what the house appears to be. Ok, seriously, I was only kidding. If you don't know them perhaps it's time to meet the neighbors and request a fast tour.

Factor 2 Wow! - It has everything to apply your objectives and motivations. Jot down each motivational factor which can be important to you within a kitchen remodel. Below are a few possible examples: Kitchen is fallling. You want to cook and also the layout doesn't suit you. You love to entertain and wish to start the kitchen as being a place to gather. You'll need a kitchen that wows your guests. You are getting prepared to sell your home as well as the kitchen is often a sticking point with buyers... Now that you have your list, determine what motivations are most crucial and relist them in motivational order. Imagining your financial allowance from "the middle" be aware of which factors might slowly move the budget up or down...i.e. attempting to remodel to encourage a sale might slowly move the budget down, remodeling to wow guest might max it out...etc.

Factor 3 Did someone say AGA? - List any "must haves" for any kitchen remodel to get worthwhile to you. Possible examples: granite counters, hawaiian isle having an extra sink, an extra dishwasher, a commercial quality gas range, etc.

Factor 4 Longevity- Determine on the better of your ability just how long you plan on owning the property.

Factor 5 Size Matters- Evaluate which percentage of your house your house encompasses. A sampling of over 100 modern home floorplans of 1000 to 3000 square foot homes revealed the typical kitchen sq footage to be 7% of the home's sq footage. In case your kitchen is larger or small compared to this average you might need to decrease or increase your budget accordingly.

Factor 6 Layout- in the event you know already you will want the sink moved, hawaiian isle sink added, an inside wall moved plus an exterior door added, then you need to incorporate money in your budget well past that of a basic facelift would cost.

Tricky layout: the decorative column conceals a good wrapped drain pipe

Factor 7 Funding- Determine the most money you can manage to spend. Should you be financing your project you can calculate what a lender will probably lend you. Lenders are interested in a debt to income ratio(DTI) of.36 or fewer. Your DTI created by subtracting all your monthly debt obligations (bank card payments, automotive loans, mortgage, etc.) and dividing from your monthly income. To find out your maximum safe monthly debt multiply.36 times your monthly income. Now subtract your existing monthly debt from this number and you have a month-to-month budget maximum. Here is a connect to a calculator that will perform the math for you personally: mortgage calculator

Putting it All Together

The key to managing your finances are choosing the percentage of your home's value you should use being a budget guideline. While researching this article I came across recommendations to make use of percentages which range from 10% to 25% of home value. For the kitchen remodel of the substance that also includes new flooring, appliances, cabinets, sink/faucet, lighting and bringing electric approximately code I find anything below 15% becoming a very dubious number. Perhaps over a big house 10% will be a workable budget, but on a 200k house a 20k finances are marginal at the best for a complete kitchen remodel.

If resale value is vital to you it is shrewd to keept the expense of your house renovation project within 20% of the present valuation on your home. Staying in this particular range insures that almost all the new kitchen's charges are recouped in increased home value immediately, as well as the remaining cost needs to be recouped within Five years since your home appreciates.

Ok, let's run through an example. Bear in mind, there isn't any exact formula here. We're simply doing our best to become as informed as you possibly can making a good plan regarding how much to pay on the kitchen remodel.

For the example let's use the home. It's a 50's cape cod with a modest sq footage of 1500.

Factor 1 value: Zillow provides me with an estimated value of $167,500, however, I notice zillow hasn't yet updated and included the one family homes that had been recently integrated the area behind us with a starting tariff of $270k. Zillow also has our square footage listed for less than 1200. Looks like the previous owner did a bit remodeling without having a permit. I will base my budget on a expense of 180k which is analogous with houses locally which are exactly the same size.

Factor 2 Goals: My wife and I wish to entertain guests. To make a kitchen remodel worthwhile for us we should instead lose an indoor wall to open up inside the kitchen and dining nook to the family area. I'm going to add 1% to plan for this.

Factor 3 Most important items: Being a former chef two most important items personally certainly are a new oven plus a really nice propane range(no propane service here), preferably an industrial range modified for use at home (real commercial ranges don't have insulation round the oven, critical for home safety). I'll add another 1% to my budget to make certain there is enough money to obtain me my range and propane installation.

Factor 4 Longevity: We plan to live in our home at the least 4 years. Usually of thumb it requires Several years for the majority of remodeling to comprehend and recoup all of your money. Since we might be right here at least A few years I am not planning to penalize this, but as there is a pretty good possibility we'll move right around Several years That's not me going to increase it like I'd personally as we were staying for a long time.

Factor 5 Height and width of Kitchen: Our kitchen is all about 140SquareFeet(SF). That's over 9% in the SF of the home, 2% above average. Obviously this kitchen is going to require some additional material and cabinets. I am going to up the budget 1% with this, I hope it's enough.

Factor 6 Layout: We are going to change the layout of our kitchen pretty extensively. Supermarket use a cooktop peninsula. The stove will probably go on a differnet wall and also the dishwasher will turn to the peninsula, though we might ditch the peninsula, slowly move the fridge and add an island instead. The only thing that won't move will be the sink. I'll add another 1% to my budget, again hoping $1800 (1% individuals 180k value) is sufficient to cover the electrical and plumbing changes.

For my base I'll use 20%. Because i previously mentioned, there are gonna be people who will argue when camping with that, but going lower often doesn't provide you with workable budget numbers for full blown kitchen remodels. I'm adding 4% according to my factors in the above list. I adjusted my zillow.com estimated home value to 180k depending on the comparable sq footage and expense of other homes around me. Thus giving us a working budget of 24% x 180k= $43,200 While i compare this to the Cost Vs. Value report I see that in the centre Atlantic Region a significant Kitchen Renovation is $59, 098. It appears as though my budget may be bit low, especially ever since i really would like granite countertops along with the Cost Vs. Value specs require laminate tops. On the other hand my kitchen is substantially smaller compared to their 200SF benchmark, therefore i think I'll opt for my budget number to see what my contractor can do for me because budget.

[conniejoworld]

DAVE LIEBER Our test of the post office delivers sad results O K, we know the mail is late. Often very late. Now The Watchdog can prove it. I ran a mail test last week by sending letters across Dallas-Fort Worth. The results are an embarrassment. The post office is looking at what could be its worst service breakdown in its 228-year history. You know most of the reasons: Overtime was halted. Blue collection boxes were taken off the streets. Sorting machines were disconnected and decommissioned like old Navy ships taken to a scrap yard. But The Watchdog has discovered another reason for mail not getting delivered on time. You probably didn’t hear about this reason. Starting in late July, before the delivery crisis began, the U.S. Postal Service launched a surprise test for mail carriers. The test came with a name that’s just mumbo-jumbo enough to confuse you. It’s called the Expedited Street/Afternoon Sortation test. A better name would be “the Carriers Only Get 15 to 30 Minutes to Get Out the Door Test.” Its purpose, according to top officials announcing it, is “to assist in reducing the morning office time for city letter carriers by enabling them to get on the street earlier.” The goal was “to enhance customer service by providing more consistent delivery times.” But here’s what happened. The test was unprecedented because it disrupted the normal flow of mail delivery. Almost 400 branches across the nation were ordered to participate, but I’m told that many other branches ended up testing some aspect of it. Inside the post office, it was nicknamed “Grab what’s there and go.” Carriers had 30 minutes (in some cases only 15) to finish prepping their mail for delivery, checking their vehicle, grabbing their scanner and keys and departing. Whatever mail was not sorted before that new grab-and-go deadline was left behind. There was always tomorrow to deliver the rest. Maybe. Within days, mail got backed up almost everywhere. With the elimination of overtime, no one was getting paid to finish the daily delivery. Undelivered mail was stored inside or left on loading docks. USPS’ own delivery standards were ignored. Among the late arrivals: medicines, income checks, bills. (Cue the dying baby chicks.) “The mail being processed was drastically delayed,” said Kimetra Lewis, president of the Dallas chapter of the National Association of Letter Carriers. The stress among her carriers was palpable. “The carriers were calling me on a regular basis” to complain, she said. “Nearly every office was implementing their own version of the test,” she said. “This test was totally different from ones in the past,” says Yared Wonde, president of the Dallas branch of the American Postal Workers Union. “This one is, if the mail is not cleared by 9 a.m., leave it on the floor for the next day.” You may have noticed my sources for this information are two local union presidents. That’s because for the first time in 15 years covering USPS, their media representatives are not allowed to talk to me. “We are not currently providing any interviews,” usually helpful spokesman Albert Ruiz told me. He didn’t give a reason, but I found it in a USPS directive that could have been titled “Our Bunker Mentality.” ‘Consistent message’ Vice.com first reported contents of the order: “The Postal Service continuously strives to project a positive image, protect its brand, and present a unified message to the customers and communities it serves,” the memo begins. “It is imperative that one person speaks on behalf of the Postal Service to deliver an appropriate, accurate and consistent message to the media.” And that one person is new Postmaster General Louis DeJoy, whose fast retreat from enacting his supposed reforms included everything but waving a white flag. After a people’s revolt led to bipartisan criticism from lawmakers, DeJoy issued a statement that he was pulling back. In one of the biggest retreats since Gen. Robert E. Lee fled the Battle of Gettysburg, DeJoy, who has donated more than $1 million to President Donald Trump’s campaign funds, promised to halt drastic actions that he and his minions had pushed in his first weeks on the job. In a forced change of heart, DeJoy vowed to maintain post office hours, leave mail sorting machines and blue collection boxes alone, keep facilities open and restore overtime. DeJoy vowed in his published statement: “To avoid even the appearance of any impact on election mail, I am suspending these initiatives until after the election is concluded.” That sounds counter to Trump’s motives. He has said that he initially opposed more funding for troubled USPS and hoped to avoid “universal mail-in voting” in his reelection bid. Yes, the postal service has massive short-term and long-term problems. But is now the right time to break the vast system into dysfunctional pieces? Ellis Burgoyne, who ran the Texas region as Southwest vice president 15 years ago before his promotion to USPS’ chief information officer, is now retired in Irving. He told me, “Holding mail a day to process was always a no-no. ... Total elimination of overtime and intentionally leaving first-class mail behind was never an option. We never had that, and I worked there for 35 years.” Sorting machines Why would you remove and dismantle working sorting machines in the midst of all these other changes unless you wanted to bog down the system, maybe even make it harder for mail-in election ballots to reach their destination before deadlines? Aside from the people in the processing plants, mechanical sorters are the heart of mail delivery. Wonde of the postal workers union estimates that between Dallas’ Main Post Office near Interstate 30 and the North Texas Processing and Distribution Center in Coppell, a dozen sorting machines have been removed in recent weeks. “They didn’t give any specific reason for that,” he said. “I officially requested how many machines were removed and how many were decommissioned.” He hasn’t heard back. Wonde said workers tried to put one of the machines back in operation at the Dallas plant, but they were missing important parts. My test I mentioned my test. Until a few years ago, a first-class letter mailed within North Texas, from and to a local address and dropped off before 5 p.m., usually arrived the next day. Now USPS service standards allow for a letter mailed locally to arrive in two days instead of one. How’s that working? I took addresses for 50 Dallas Morning News employees who live in Dallas-Fort Worth. On Monday night, I mailed 50 envelopes to them from my city post office. I also emailed my lucky 50 to let them know they’d been drafted into my experiment. Under USPS standards, all letters should have arrived in two days — by Thursday’s mail. But more than half didn’t. Only 21 arrived on time — or 42%. That’s a failing grade. Five more arrived one day late on Friday. As of Saturday morning, as I complete this, I’ve yet to hear back about 24 others, or 48%. Admittedly, this is no scientific survey. But with half of the sent letters failing to meet the goal, it’s an indicator. (The Watchdog wants to check again during early voting.) Burgoyne, the retired former USPS vice president for Texas, added that when he was in management, “Election and political mail, including ballots, had the highest priority.” (We’ll see if that tradition holds.) Lewis of the letter carriers’ union says she worries about the cost of this mess to USPS’ reputation: “We don’t know if our customers lost confidence in us. It’s frightening.” If you desire a mail-in absentee ballot, contact your county elections office for information. You can also request one online. Requests for mail ballots must be made before Oct. 23. Make sure you fill out your ballot and send it back as soon as possible. To qualify, you must be 65 or older, disabled or out of your home county on Election Day. The last day to register to vote is Oct. 5. Twitter: @DaveLieber

[judinyasitus17-blog]

Casinos Bonuses 101

You've probably noticed that most online casinos commercials usually offer some sort of added bonus or FREE money to obtain to start playing there. Like most items in the world, nothing really will come free, so before you start saying this free money and after that getting upset that you've recently been scammed, I suggest you keep reading to see how this all operates.

First of all, you may ask; exactly why do online casinos also offer this "free" dollars?

It's part of their promotion differentiation strategy. In a nutshell, on the net casinos are generally "skins" of your specific software provider, and so actually behind the different operator, graphics, licensing etc beneath the bonnet there's not much big difference between let's say all Playtech powered casinos, or just about all Microgaming powered ones. Situs judi online

Therefore if they are mostly the same under the hood, there needs to be some type of difference which will convince one to play at "X" casino and not "Y". Besides the visuals, licensing, support and status, another way to pitch to prospective players is by giving them anything, in this case, a bonus.

Having set that out of the way, the next query you might ask yourself is: ALRIGHT, so Casino X offers $5, 000 free, possibly I'll sign up, take our $5, 000, play these people out and go on for you to Casino Y.

The answer this is pretty simple as well. In order to assert bonuses at at an casino online, you will usually need to generate a deposit, unless it's especially stated that you don't, but we're going get to that later.

Just before we sink into the ground beef of the different types of bonuses offered by online casinos, here are a few added terms and points you ought to know of, so you can clarify regarding a support representative just before claiming a bonus, just therefore you know where you stand and what most likely claiming.

1 . Wagering prerequisites: Most bonuses have gaming or playthrough requirements, and therefore you need to play a certain amount one which just withdraw winning from your consideration. On average wagering requirements usually are between 15 to 45 times, however pay attention to actually required to wager. In some cases it will probably be just the bonus times Back button and in others you will need to guess the bonus + your own deposit amount X periods. The latter by the way is somewhat more common.

Another tidbit you ought to pay attention to with regards to wagering specifications is, that at most on the internet casinos, if you request some sort of withdrawal before you have accomplished the wagering requirements, your entire winnings to date will be useless. Not really fair, but this is certainly reality.

2 . Games played out: Make sure you read the T&Cs in such cases. Because slots games are often the most profitable games intended for online casinos, many add-ons tend to be valid only for video poker machines games. Usually scratch cards along with keno will comply with this specific rule.

In other situations, you will be allowed to play your current bonus on all game titles; however not all games may count 100% towards the playthrough requirements. For example play on pai gow poker will count 100% yet roulette will only count thirty, meaning that you will actually need to help wager over three times a lot more in order to clear the playing requirements and withdraw your own personal winnings.

3. Minimum put in requirement: In most cases, in order to promise a bonus you will be required to create a minimum deposit, which once more can vary. It's generally a bit which you will probably deposit in any case. It's usually not over fifty dollars.

Now that we're all on the same webpage and speaking the same vocabulary, it's time we had the main types of bonuses on offer at most online casinos.

1 ) A Match bonus is one of common type of bonus. For each and every $ you deposit, you will end up credited X% of everything you deposited by the casino. Therefore , if, for example , casino Unces is offering a 100% fit bonus, deposit $100 along with the casino will give you an extra $22.99 in bonus money. Because of this actually start playing within the casino with $200. Fit bonuses are almost always limited to a specific maximum bonus amount you may claim. A match extra can be a standalone bonus within a promotion (more common your way friendly online casinos) or as part of the welcome bonus

2 . Any welcome bonus is generally offered by many, if not all, online gambling houses to new players who also sign up and make their initial deposit at the casino. The particular welcome bonus is the sum of each of the possible match bonuses you could accumulate as a new participant at the casino over a certain period of time, or within your initially X deposits, or a blend the two; so if a on line casino advertises a $3000 deposit bonus, it's actually the maximum you can get with all the 1st deposit bonus, next deposit bonus, monthly reward etc, where if you first deposit the maximum amount of each match benefit, you can reach the marketed welcome bonus. If you deposit lower than needed for the maximum bonus inside each stage, you won't get to the amount advertised in the deposit bonus. So , in fact , the deposit bonus advertised is the MAXIMIUM volume you can claim in added bonus money during your first time period playing at the casino.

a few. A No deposit bonus is pretty self-explanatory. It's a bonus you receive from your online casino which will enable you to enjoy real money games without having to produce a deposit. This is a great tool to get online casinos to acquire fresh players as it lets these individuals try out the casino and never have to make a deposit. In some nations around the world it helps solve the "trust" issue casino players have got with online casinos. Several players who feel comfortable lodging and playing at one particular online casino will be wary while trying out another one they've never ever played at. Other members don't want to make a deposit with no trying out the software and video game titles so a no deposit bonus will surely help here. Some on-line casinos give no deposit bonus deals as part of their standard giving and others steer well far from such bonuses as they which they tend to attract the wrong form of players, i. e. gamers who have no intention regarding playing for real money to start with and that it just puts stress on the support team without actual outcome. I think the truth is probably somewhere at the center and that people claim free bonuses for different reasons.

Free bonuses are generally for a fairly small amount, usually $10-$15 and perhaps they are either offered to potential clients immediately by the casino or simply by websites affiliated with them. Free bonuses also have wagering needs you need to complete before you are capable of withdraw your winnings when you have been lucky.

4. Sticky/Play only bonuses are additional bonuses which you cannot withdraw out of your account. If you get blessed and win and request a new withdrawal, the bonus total you received will be taken off your winnings. Let's say an individual claimed a $50 gooey bonus and got lucky delivering your account balance to $500. Now you would like to withdraw your personal winnings and go enjoy with friends. The online gambling establishment will only allow you to withdraw 550 dollar from your players account in addition to $50, which is the gross bonus amount, will be avoid. Play only bonuses tend to be larger than match bonuses and also the wagering requirements lower.

a few. Payment method bonus: This is certainly something that was initially common from Playtech powered casinos and possesses spread to many others also over the years. Besides depositing in an online casino with your credit or debit card, there are numerous electronic options most of that provide instant fund transfers minus the associated hassle and thousands of dollars15143. Many of these alternative payment strategies, as they are widely called, offer you their services to people with out a credit check and you can transfer income from your bank account discreetly. Many are even pre-paid cards you can aquire at a kiosk. Just for using one of these alternative payment methods you potentially can attain an extra 10-15% bonus in each deposit you make in addition to some other bonus you claim. Make sure you check the cashier section prior to deciding to sign up to an online casino you have never played at because this can definitely be to your advantage.

6th. Most online casinos have a very Loyalty/VIP Club scheme where you could redeem bonuses in return for items you accumulated while enjoying. The more you play, a lot more points you earn as well as the better the point-bonus conversions rate becomes.

It is always crucial to check the specific T&Cs in the online casino you're playing or perhaps plan to play at due to the fact often you will not be allowed to pull away the bonus amount or maybe the bonus amount can be docked off your winnings.

OK, consequently I'm pretty sure you're today thinking how to take advantage of this all good, so here's the other hand of the card. Online internet casinos are extremely sensitive to extra abuse, also known as bonus whoring, by players. Just like you could possibly get expelled from a land centered casino for counting control cards for example , you can also get your participants account locked at an casinos at the first suspicion they may have of bonus abuse. You should remember that at the end of the day gambling will be entertainment and is supposed to be fun. It's not a day job and also you can't really earn money on the casino. Bonuses add to the fascinating excitements and at the end during the day, are only a marketing tool. Declare them, have fun with them, enhance your excitement but don't assume log out richer.

References Gambling

[henweekend-blog]

Hen party in dispute with luxury castle venue over coronavirus cancellation - North Wales Live

  A luxury North Wales venue has actually refused to reimburse a hen party £& pound; 3,750 after coronavirus required the cancellation of their weekend.

Nadine Wild and 34 buddies were due at Westbury Castle, Gronant, near Prestatyn, for a Disney-themed hen weekend this Friday - ahead of the marriage of her best buddy Jo Taylor.

The coronavirus outbreak has required the temporary closure of the place.

Ms Wild, 31, requested the weekend to be moved to another date - or for a partial refund of the £& pound; 3,750 expense to show the venue would not sustain the complete expenses from their stay.

Other groups - consisting of wedding event celebrations-have actually required to social networks to complain about the venue not allowing them to switch dates or get refunds.

Company owner Janet Evans states Ms Wild signed a contract - seen by North Wales Live - that specified that in the light of cancellation within 8 weeks of the occasion date, no refund would be given.

Mrs Evans says she is the ""victim"and that moving the weekend would indicate the venue losing on future income from other visitors. She likewise said she had spent thousands on heating oil for the castle to cover this event and other reservations.

She included she had actually encouraged Ms Wild that she must spend for insurance coverage cover at the time of the booking.

Mrs Evans says if she moved every occasion or used refunds to all those affected she would go out of organisation.

Ms Wild, from Hertfordshire, is the bride-to-be's maid of honour and supervised of organising the hen celebration.

She stated: ""Jo has a horrible lot of loved ones so I started planning this hen provide for 35 ladies 12 months earlier.

""It took me so long to discover someplace to sleep us all which fit my Disney style so I was happy to discover Westbury Castle.

""After many hours of preparation, emailing, coordinating, cutting, sticking, making, I was so dissatisfied when coronavirus forced us to halt plans. And even more ravaged for Jo and Jack to need to delay their wedding event by over 12 months.

""However, we were pleased and boosted by the compassion and kindness of the small companies and suppliers we reserved who were extremely pleased to delay our reservation by 12 months and transfer the deposit without hesitation.

""All other than Westbury Castle which was frustratingly the greatest spend of all at £& pound; 3,750."Even after sympathising with her and offering a compromise she declined to move or compensate. I provided to split her set overheads with her in go back to transfer the rest of the balance to a brand-new date but she declined and firmly insisted to cancel and keep the complete quantity. This is inclusive of expenses which will not even be incurred (cleansing, laundry, heating oil, electricity etc) in addition to the earnings margin developed into the expense.

""She is declaring she will fail if she postponed or compensated everybody whose booking has actually been cancelled so she won’t do it.

" "Extremely unfortunately this means we may not be able to manage another location and the event we wished for will not proceed. We will organise a smaller sized hen provide for my friend with the ladies that can pay for to pay twice.

"" Jo has actually taken whatever in her stride with regards to the wedding event however the manner in which we have actually been treated by Janet has actually distressed her a lot. She and I feel responsible for losing that cash on behalf of everyone else and tarred what ought to be an actually unique event."

" She accepts the cancellation terms and advice to spend for insurance coverage were in the arrangement she signed but argues that she ought to just surrender the actual costs sustained by the location.

The £ 1,000 down payment has actually been returned.

Mrs Evans stated the loss to the hen celebration visitors just exercises at around £& pound; 50 a night each while she has no earnings coming in for the coming weeks due to coronavirus.

She said she was fighting for the company to endure.

She said: " People take a look at your home and believe I am rich however I am the leaseholder here. I have spent 3 years putting every pound I make back into this home"

"This year I intended to lastly begin making some money and after that this happened. Coronavirus is not my fault, I am the victim here"

"They knew this was non-refundable and I advised them to get events insurance coverage, it is not my fault. They were delighted with the terms when they booked."

[televinita]

Little Women (2019): Thoughts

REQUIRED READING: the prequel post about my background going in to this film.

SNAPSHOT VERSION: Though I have some casting qualms, and may adjust my opinions after I reread the book, mostly I think this is everything my heart has needed since the magic of the ‘94 movie was broken for me. My heart is very full.

FULL VERSION: Twice as long as the prequel post (a.k.a. 1800 words), starts below.

I did not expect LW to be the first Unexpected Comeback Fandom of 2020 (or a comeback fandom ever, really), but here I am, having spent every day since I saw this film mooning about this story and looking up different editions and supplemental books in the library catalog, so I'd better process how I feel about it while the memories are relatively fresh.

Most of my thoughts are on casting rather than specific scenes because like I said, I can’t remember the book super well, so I’d like to get my movie memories to fade so that the book can surprise me. Also because I think I will have a more in-depth post about them when I watch the film a 2nd time, whether that’s in theaters or on DVD. But here’s what I’ve got for now.

ON CASTING

In no particular order --

* Emma Watson is very pretty but it is so hard to take her seriously as an actress. She's just Emma Watson, Famous For Being In Harry Potter and Getting Hired For Other Big Name Projects. I feel like she's so consciously acting all the time. She made a not-terrible Meg, I guess? No worse than she made a Belle. But it was roughly as hilarious watching her try to be a mother now as it was watching her try to be a mother in the last Harry Potter movie. To the point that I just kept hearing the "Damn! I'm SO maternal!" song playing as her theme in the background at all times. * I realized 6 days prior to seeing the movie that Florence Pugh is recognizable because she's in Midsommar and honestly, that just ruined everything for me. I didn't even see that film, I just know it's gross and I would hate it and while she is not tainted forever like the 50 Shades actors, she is definitely too tainted for Little Women. Also I could not stop thinking about how I associate Amy with being very dainty and prim and Florence, while perfectly lovely, is not. * Laura Dern was kind of strangely modern and kooky for Marmee, but I love her as an actress and I loved that she was just like "HELLO STRANGE NEIGHBOR BOY, COME BE MY FIFTH CHILD." So I was OK with that. * ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH BOB ODENKIRK. What kind of anachronistic garbage. What crack were you on, because it was obviously not the good stuff. "Did I stumble into an SNL parody??" I wondered more than once. * Meryl Streep as Aunt March was AMAZING. Ten Oscars. * Beth consistently looked younger than Amy, so that was weird. She was okay but kind of childlike, and failed to make Beth my favorite like she is in the book. * JO! Saoirse Ronan is by far my favorite actress in this set, but I didn't think she was right for Jo going in. "Jo's not a redhead!" I said, indignantly stamping my foot, because my childhood-era love for this novel reigns defensively supreme like for no other classic besides Black Beauty. (another 1994 classic they should remake soon, even though I love that version. Just saying.)

But damned if she did not COMPLETELY embody every essence of Jo there is and make Jo my favorite character this time. Truly, nobody except Meryl Streep so thoroughly matched my expectations for their character. Ten Oscars, part II. Or at least the one she is actually nominated for. If Jo loses to ScarJo I will riot. * John was nice. I feel like he was exactly what he was supposed to be, which is to say kind of plain and milquetoast but perfect for Meg. I don't actually remember him existing in the novel, so that was an interesting game of "how important is this guy?" until suddenly Meg was getting married and I realized I did, in fact, have a very dim memory of a wedding from the book. I think I will like their romance more the second time around, though. * Mr. Laurence was VERY EXCELLENT. IDK why I know the actor, even after looking him up, but I liked him in this role a lot. His grandfatherly quasi-adoption of Beth was so sweet. * As for Professor Bhaer...UGH. I hated him on sight and my brain wouldn't even let me recognize who he was for like 3 scenes, I was just like, "who is this random boarding lodger and why are we focusing on that weirdo." I mean, he's objectively handsome? But he did not do it for me. He lacked the gravitas I expect from this character and his thick accent scraped my ears and drove me insane (update from the future: his accent is also driving me insane in the book, where I have peeked in at a few chapters as incentive to reread. whyyyyyyy). * LAURIE: maybe it's been too long since I read the book, but never could I ever have imagined I'd want to use the term "fuckboy" to describe Laurie. It wasn't even Ski Chalet's face so much as it was that in all present-day scenes (post-rejection), he is such an insufferable, melodramatic, pouting trash heap that I didn't want him to marry any of them at that point. (Also YOU STILL DIDN'T MAKE ME UNDERSTAND WHY HE GOES FOR AMY, so good job.**) However, I took especial delight in paying attention to all the cuddly platonic friend cuddling he heaped on Jo growing up, in focus or in the background, and I loved it...kind of a lot? The ship radar made noise. That noise is getting louder by the day, smoothing away his faults. He may have permanently taken up residence in my mind's eye as the new Laurie. ...this is the worst. Make it cease. (**update from the future, I am peeking at the book and it looks like it's a lot easier to understand both in text and when you're inside Laurie's head. He is still clearly sulking his way through Europe, but in a way it's easier to recover from. Also, I don’t have time to unpack this but as I finish the edits on this post I started 5 days ago, I’m starting to think I could not only ship Laurie/Amy, but believe in it from the start.) ACTUAL PLOT AND FILM QUALITY

+ The shifting between past and present was very jarring right off the bat, but after that I think it worked.

+ I loved the attic play rehearsals so much

+ I am so glad Jo’s shorn hair is both fleeting and as hideous as it should look, and not Pixie Cut Chic (Childhood Me wailed at that part reading the book)

+ I remember hardly anything about the book's Part II / Good Wives, so basically everything in their adult lives was news to me. Amy and Aunt March go to Europe? Jo goes to live by herself in New York? Meg marries a relative pauper? Any of this could be true to the book or just made up as an alternate idea to explore, and I would be none the wiser. That made it more fun. (NOBODY SPOIL ME ON WHAT'S TRUE)

+ It did not occur to me until just now that the part where Jo publishes her version of Little Women is not in the book (right?), but that was beautifully done.

+ The house interiors were breathtaking. It's not like I don't regularly watch period pieces, but this time there was just something about seeing an old house, like the ones I am often in for estate sales, decorated the way I always imagine seeing when I enter those homes, that kind of made me tear up. + The outside shots were pretty too + Jo made me cry with her I'm so LONELY! speech, rude. (I went into this movie thinking I was 100% on board to finally read Alcott’s sequels for their Jo/Professor content, and now I'm like 'ah damn it is gonna be the season for the Jo/Laurie AU novel, isn't it.')

+ A strike against Beth and/or the actress playing her: I did not cry about her death (in my defense I was busy crying about Jo's pain).

+ I did NOT remember precisely how Laurie & Amy got married, so even though I knew it happened eventually, I felt that sucker punch to the gut reveal just about as hard as Jo did. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR WIFE.

+ My mom said she’d heard this movie was lauded as being super feminist, which rarely goes well for me, but I thought it felt like really authentic "married women literally were not allowed to control their own income and it sucked" 19th century feminism, and not someone using their 21st century voice to claim this is how people would have REALLY talked if The Patriarchy Of Historical Record hadn't silenced/suppressed it. Nothing rankled me. I’m very confused by the people who think it says Jo is queer and/or didn’t end up with the Professor, but if that’s what you see then I guess it’s a win/win situation for all of us. + LOVED the closing montage. + Basically, at all times that I wasn't annoyed by the casting, I was feeling the same magic I did while reading the book and/or while watching the 1994 movie as a child. I can’t think of any parts I really hated.

IN CONCLUSION

Part of me is honestly kind of sad I didn't reread the book before watching this movie, because even though I usually prefer to go movie first and then get the Expanded Edition that is the book, in this case I wish I'd taken my last chance to properly visualize everything in my head on my own -- since I’ve mostly forgotten the ‘94 film -- before the new movie washed it away forever. This is one of the rare times I would have liked to hope and guess what would be shown vs. cut, and be able to anticipate the thrill of seeing the page come to life.

However, seeing it was the impetus I needed to finally take my childhood copy off the shelf (and thank heavens I have it, because the library request is backed up 3 or 4 deep for every copy), and it took all of 5 minutes to get instantly sucked into chapter 1 and feel such rapturous joy and familiarity that I consciously cut myself off and decided I am going to journal out my feelings after each chapter on this reread. So that’s something!

[doberbutts]

And the followup post, here.

Okay folks, this is one I’ve resisted posting about for a while, but enough people have sent it to me (including a link from WADTT from a group where the author goes further into detail on this subject, thank you darling <3 ) that I guess it’s time.

I’m going to start with- this is why I don’t like it when people who are not involved in something decide they want to judge something they don’t know anything about. I’m, of course, not saying this woman doesn’t know anything about dog training- her credentials are enough to say otherwise. But the phrasing of both of these articles indicate that she has never taken her dogs through a CGC before and, indeed, has never done any sort of AKC event before. In fact, one of her main problems with it (and one of her source’s main problems with it, but I’ll go into that later) is that the AKC is an organization that makes money because people do stuff with their dogs with said organization. Her source is more talking about puppy mills- in which it exaggerates a bit and implies that the money the AKC makes yearly is mostly coming from litter entries (ignoring the large sums coming from show entries, titles, etc) while her post implies that they’re getting quite a hefty sum from CGC entries (ignoring... all the other stuff the AKC does). Another reasons she gives for not liking the CGC is that the rulebook states that they don’t care what method you use to teach the items- something true of all AKC titles- as long as your dog is in the approved back-clipping non-restrictive harness, flat collar, martengale collar, or slip collar come testing day. She even does not like that the CGC allows the slip collar to be used during the test, despite the fact that- like all AKC titles- it’s not meant to be used during the test, as correcting your dog even verbally will fail you.

Far be it from me to claim the CGC is the end-all of dog behavior. We have had dogs right here on dogblr that decidedly were not the epitome of good temperament pass CGC and even CGCA. I’ve passed a dog that I know is dog aggressive, but he was not during testing time or class, so I also could not fail him. I just had an argument with a high profile dobe breeder about why the CGC program is not an ideal standard for service dogs. I have my own problems with the program, and my own problems with the AKC, and I can’t really say either is perfect.

I’ve taken close to 50 dogs through the CGC in 2018 and the first couple days of 2019 alone at this point. As most of you are aware, I am not a +R trainer by the strictest sense of the term. As most of you are also aware, I am required to be so while at my job. That means the vast majority of my students must adhere strictly to force-free methodology, and exceptions may only be made when there is a serious safety concern regarding strength of dog vs strength of human. This also means that the majority of my CGC students have run through the CGC without ever feeling any sort of pressure or compulsion. While, yes, the rulebook does state that whatever methods you want can be used for teaching the items, my job states that I am much more limited. Besides that, I’m pretty pro-don’t-punish-your-dog-for-not-reading-your-mind and anti-use-corrective-collars-to-fix-your-shitty-foundation, so there’s that too, even with my personal dogs aka dogs I’m allowed to actually do whatever I want with. Just as an aside, but I took CGC classes at Petco as well when I ran through the program with Creed because I can and they’re free for me, so I also was not allowed to have him on anything more corrective than a martengale during class or test. This means no slip collar either- something allowed by AKC rules but not by the testing facility. Clearly the CGC can be passed while sticking firmly to a +R ideology.

But that’s not enough- in the group where she discussed her reasonings for this, the mere fact that the CGC rulebook states that it allows slip collars, that you can do whatever you want in training, and that the AKC refuses to totally ban metal aversives is bad enough to never want to take a CGC. Simply funding the organization with your $10 is bad enough to not want to do it. That, to me, is more than a little ridiculous.

Onto the next point- the fear that more people beginning to require a CGC to insure or rent to dog owners would split up dogs and humans- specifically fearful or aggressive dogs, and low income families. This is a tricky one to navigate, and one that I’m very much wishing she hadn’t thrown human social talking points into (misogyny, violence against women, income status, etc). First of all- there is no current punishment for failing your CGC besides a little bit of embarrassment or frustration if you thought your dog was ready, so the whole “scarlet letter of bad citizen” is exaggerated hyperbole at best. Second of all, no insurance company to date has required a CGC that I am aware of, but has given discounts for one being present. Third, HOAs and landlords have actually changed from disallowing pets completely to saying that they will allow a pet if it’s trained to a visible standard- this is a good thing. This is not “landlords and HOAs used to allow dogs all the time but now they require your dog pass a test”, it’s “landlords and HOAs used to not allow any dogs or only allow dogs smaller than 25lbs or have breed bans and now instead of that they just want to make sure your dog is somewhat trained”. Forward progress. Creed failed his CGC at 13 months. He passed it at 22 months. Failing it the first time had literally zero effect on his ability to pass it the second time, except that I knew what things he still needed practice with before our second go around.

If your dog is too fearful or too aggressive to pass a CGC test with dedicated training, you probably shouldn’t be renting with it. These are easy things to pass and things your dog will have to navigate at some point in its life. Your dog is going to need to be touched by strangers at the vet or groomer. Basic obedience- positions, recall, stay, those are things that literally save lives in emergency situations. Your dog is going to need to be able to peacefully coexist with other dogs when going outside to pee, on a walk, at the vet, at the groomer. With the increasing number of vets that take the dog into the back, away from its owner, for simple procedures like shots and blood draws, your dog is going to need to be okay not being next to you for a whole 3 minutes. Not everyone likes dogs, so it’s imperative that your dog can walk by strangers without bothering them, especially if you have neighbors in the same building. While loose leash walking and distractions are perhaps the most easily discarded of all of these items, the #1 complaint I receive as a dog trainer from new clients is that their dog pulls on leash. The #2 complaint is that the dog is easily distracted by everything and thus “doesn’t listen”. That’s your 10 items on the CGC. If your dog cannot do those things with a combination of training and management techniques, then, yeah, your dog probably shouldn’t be in a rental and you should look into additional training. Additionally- dogs that bark constantly, especially at movement/sound from neighbors or due to seperation anxiety, get their owners evicted. That’s the hard truth. Dogs that are not properly housebroken get their owners evicted, or at the very least get their owners charged thousands of dollars for repairs when an angry landlord has to replace flooring or carpet or furniture. That’s why the dog owner pledge exists.

HOAs are much the same- barking dogs get neighbor complaints which then get you evicted or fined. Leaving a dog outside to bark in the yard is one of the biggest reasons animal control gets called on dog owners. A pesky neighborhood gardener has the right to work in peace- if your dog won’t stop barking, nothing is stopping you from bringing it inside or moving it away from the windows. I don’t know why we suddenly jump to taping the mouth shut or surgical debarking- unless the dog cannot be calmed once it starts, in which case a visit to the vet and a behaviorist (or trainer otherwise skilled in BAT) is in order to determine what combination of management techniques and medication is required for the dog to have its extreme anxiety or aggression calmed to a more reasonable point where it stops being unfair to the dog to exist in such a stressful mindset. The pledge does not say you can’t do that- and anyone working with a trainer to pass the CGC should be provided that option should they request it.

People don’t like it when dog owners let their dogs poop in their yards. Even if you clean it up, there’s still residue. It’s also pretty terrible for the environment to not pick it up in your own yard, as well as a public health and safety hazard if allowed to collect over a long amount of time or if there are multiple dogs. E.coli, salmonella, coccidia, giardia, and various parasites such as roundworm and tapeworm can and do spread to humans if on contaminated ground- a worry for children who may not know better than to put their hands in grass a dog has recently pooped on and, since there’s no visible trace of poop anymore, then puts their hands in their mouths. Distemper, parvo, and lepto spreads to dogs with weak immune systems that cannot be vaccinated, or puppies who have not completed their vaccinations yet. Rain water pushes these diseases out of a dog owner’s yard and into other ground as well as into rivers and other sources of drinking water. Making sure that your dog only uses certain areas to go to the bathroom, and then immediately doing your best to pick up after your dog is the only acceptable compromise. And people are very bad at even doing that- outside of my store, where there is a poop bag station every couple of feet, we still completely fill a trash bag full of poop weekly because people will not pick up after their dogs. That’s why the dog owner pledge exists. At least daily inside of my store, we discover a trail of feces and urine down an aisle from a dog owner that either wasn’t paying enough attention to their dog to see that it was doing that, or that didn’t care enough to clean it up, even with several easily accessible clean-up stations within the store. Sometimes it’s right at the clean-up station.

That’s why its phrased the way it is. Good citizen- or in Canada, good neighbor. It’s an attempt to curb bad human behaviors while also teaching dogs a very simple, easy-to-pass test. If the CGC or CGN isn’t your cuppa, there’s also others such as CLASS and SPOT and even various things from DMWYD. But all of them are similar in that they attempt to solve this problem as more people with more dogs becomes more widespread.

As for the rest- dogs that growl get dismissed from the test. This does not mean dogs-that-growl-ever. This means, dogs that growl during the test. It’s included because the AKC got tired of evaluators and judges and other dogs being attacked by dogs. Any aggressive behavior whatsoever displayed during the test is grounds for automatic dismissal in the vast majority of AKC events. This prevents the owner from attempting to “work through it” and invariably flooding the dog and getting someone bit. Instead, the dog is dismissed, and the owner is forwarded to someone who can find out why the dog is growling and how to make the dog more comfortable with whatever the problem was. Dogs that cannot hold their urine for the 30 minutes max each test takes, yes, get dismissed, because nobody likes a dog that pees all over everything. This includes dogs that submissive or excited pee, because the owner should be working with a vet and behaviorist on proper management solutions. Dogs are allowed to startle during distractions, as long as they do not attempt to flee, run, or bark. It even says the dog may look at the distraction with (mild) interest, as long as it is neither pulling towards the distraction nor running away from the distraction.

Once again, far be it from me to be the white knight of the CGC or even of the AKC, but this article is, frankly, mostly the same type of nonsense I always hate seeing from people who wish to make talking points about things they’ve never experienced and thus don’t have any idea what they’re talking about. Again, I am not saying this woman doesn’t know what dog training entails. Her credentials alone say otherwise. But I am saying that it’s very clear she’s never even attempted the CGC, nor attended a class of people attending the CGC. Again, in the FB group where she discusses her reasoning, she even says that while she understands people do go through the CGC with all forcefree training, her problem is that it allows people to not do that, and so it’s still unacceptable. So all training is required to be forcefree, written in the rules, or else there’s the potential that someone somewhere might do something to their dogs that she doesn’t like, and so it’s bad. That’s... ridiculous.

There’s also some things at the end about wanting legislature to require forcefree only training, about wanting all dog trainers to pass a certification that requires people to only use forcefree training, and some bits about people like me who occasionally use tools not allowed by +R methodology in certain circumstances being inhumane and unethical, but I won’t go into those more than my warning that I always have for things like this.

Always be careful about strong opinions formed by people who have never done or experienced or worked with the thing they have strong opinions about. Especially so when they are strong opinions that may become enforced by law. At that point, everyone loses.