#I have thinky thoughts

[tavina-writes]

love how every time I finish up a major wip I'm always like "I'm done! I've did my best! I wrote the best thing that I've ever written!" and then I wake up the next day and it's like "oh yeah actually I have more to say" and when I do finish the next work it's a better work than the one that came before it.

And that's nice because sometimes I'm like, "what if I have said all I have to say about a beloved ship/trope/fandom/whatever" and you know what that's the devil speaking because in the past I've always found something else to say.

anyway! if you're down in the dumps like me today about "have I actually peaked?" the answer is no you haven't. You're just getting started.

[momomoring]

lol in a silly goofy mood rn thinking about gp!momo and how much she likes it when sana rides her.

momo’s sitting in a chair, eyes screwed shut, hands gripping sana’s waist so hard it’s leaving bruises. sana’s straddling momo’s lap, fucking herself on her dick. she’s so wet it’s dripping down momo’s length and making a mess in her lap.

sana has a hand on the back of the chair, just beside momo’s head, and her other hand gripping her shoulder for leverage every time she lifts up and forces herself downwards on momo.

her dick stretches sana out, hitting every single spot inside of her so good her eyes roll back. she’s nearly dizzy with how good it feels, momo’s dick pulsing inside of her, needy little whimpers falling out of momo’s mouth.

it’s kind of pathetic, how much momo likes this, sana controlling both of their pleasure but primarily seeking her own. how momo just lays there, hands gripping sana harshly but barely doing anything to help her fuck herself on momo’s dick.

the coil in sana’s stomach tightens, and it gets harder to lift up, to keep the consistency of her movements. she falls forwards, lips finding momo’s neck, mouthing at her pulse point, teeth biting down and tongue smoothing it over. momo lets out a groan, thrusting upwards. sana gasps against momo’s neck at how her dick goes even deeper, stretches her even further.

“just like that,” sana chokes out and momo, like the good girl she is, thrusts upwards again, those hands on sana’s waist finally useful for something.

sana’s cries grow louder as momo continues fucking up into her, guiding her sloppy movements. momo grunts with the effort, her shoulder muscles working and flexing under sana’s hand. momo’s teeth are gritted with the strain but she loves it, the way it makes sana moan brokenly, hands gripping her and fucking herself desperately on momo.

“i’m so close,” sana says, voice shaking and unsteady. momo groans, trying not to come as she shifts closer, an arm wrapping around sana’s waist, her other hand sliding around to rub harshly at her clit as she thrusts into her. sana nearly screams, the stimulation on her clit overwhelming and intense, but it’s everything she needs and she comes, body convulsing and shuddering.

she clenches around momo’s dick as she continues fucking herself wantonly, momo’s thumb rubbing her clit. the tightness of sana’s wet pussy is all momo can think about, her dick throbbing inside of her as she fucks into her harder, chasing her own orgasm.

it happens within seconds after momo stops trying to prevent it, spilling into sana, warmth exploding as she cries out. her hold on sana tightens as her head falls forwards so that her forehead can rest on her shoulder. sana groans with the feeling and shifts on momo’s dick, milking it for what it’s worth.

and finally, momo leans back, eyes glassy and cheeks flushed. her hand finds its way to sana’s stomach and she rubs at her lower stomach, her dick and cum still inside of her. the corner of her mouth quirks upward in a smirk.

“you look pretty like that,” momo says.

sana hums, leaning closer to kiss her lazily for a moment before mumbling against her lips, “so do you.”

[minecraftbookshelf]

Traffic Life: Widows Alliance

some minor secret life spoilers below.

The Widows' Alliance name drop in the most recent session has me being extremely normal about everything.

I just love that alliance so much. It is, as far as I can think, the only alliance in the entire traffic series that has survived all five seasons now without a single betrayal and the only murder has been consensual.

Third Life was the setup, they didn't get to actively team together so much but they had their deal and their plans, Cleo just died before they had the chance to see them through, and Scott followed not long after.

Last Life, the infamous Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss teamup my beloveds. Cleo was a semi-latecomer to the trio but it was never in question and they both stuck with it through to the end.

Double Life, The Official Team, when they turned on Pearl and still stuck by each other, to the point that they axe crit each other to emphasize to their government assigned soulmates that they didn't need them, they had each other. (Pearl's powdered snow came after the axe crits i will scream about this until i am hoarse, she retaliated with lesser damage to an injustice and cruelty done towards her first.)

Limited Life, Scott took refuge with the Clockers multiple times when the entire rest of the server was hunting him and Cleo gave him shelter without question each and every time. I think he set his spawn in their base more often then he did in his own. He also gifted multiple of his lives to them, Cleo especially, and traded a couple more.

And now Secret Life. When they tried to avoid teaming up and yet...and yet.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

I am having a lot of thoughts about the Christopher of it all right now in light of this bts we got from Gavin!!!

Because - Mountains and rock climbers and forests!!!

Look I've already climbed onto the Eddie and mountains to climb train in this post here but I'm about to make it a Diaz boys have mountains to climb train!!!

So Eddie now has a photograph - in black and white - of Half Dome on his bedroom wall - right above his bed

And then he has a lone cowboy on a horse - on the opposite wall - a cowboy on a horse in a flat landscape (which is yellow/orange - and with the blue walls also therefore plays into yellow blue theory)...

...and there is just something about Eddie sitting in his bed - looking at a picture of what is essentially a lone ranger in a barren landscape, on a wall that Buck helped him repair, while behind him is this looming mountain that is notoriously difficult to climb - the thing he can see when he is having sex with M - upside down.

The rest is under the cut because being brief is not my wheelhouse!!

Something about playing into the idea that Eddie has been this lone ranger in a barren landscape - searching for something - an something about how that search in this barren landscape is hiding (happening) the holes in the wall that Buck helped him patch up - something about how he feels alone even though the help he needed and wanted is already there - just hidden out of sight.

How that mountain is looming behind him also out of sight. How Eddie is in t his good place right now, but there are still mountains for him to climb - how those mountains are connected to his past.

There is also something in the choice of black and white for the image - something about the thing Eddie needs to deal with - the mountain he needs to climb is black and white - Obvious - not a complex myriad of colour (something something about his catholic guilt being obvious - black and white - something about it being a part of him that is finite and defined and not changeable - something like being gay perhaps!!)

Then there is the fact that we can make a fair assumption, based on the fact that we were shown Buck helping him fix the holes, that Buck helped Eddie with all of the redecorating - that he helped him paint the room (and choose the lovely duck egg blue colour), helped him hang the pictures - helped him choose the artwork for his walls - implicitly tying Buck to that mountain - that his feelings etc tied to Buck are his mountain still to climb. The thing with this as a concept is that it also plays into the upside down on the bed with Marisol - things being wrong or upside down/ backwards with her - that the spectre of Buck looms large over their relationship.

The otehr thiing I'd like to point out is kind of the biggest thing of them all and plays into the two cut lines and red string of fate of it all. Because Half Dome has a permanent cable tether for climbers attempting to summit to use and the metaphor of that is fascinating to me. There is something in the idea of Eddie feeling untethered, but also in Eddie not fully trusting he has a tether. How Eddie still hasn't fully grasped the permanence of Buck in the Diaz family's life - in Eddies life. Eddie needs to scale that mountain and buck is metaphorically speaking the half dome permanent cable run. Eddie might've made him a permanent fixture from a legal perspective - but that was for Chris, not for him (and Chris has already figured out Bucks permanence if you ask me - he already ran to Buck and opens up to him in a way he can’t with his father) but Eddie still doesn’t fully trust that the support he has in his life through Buck is permanent rather than a temporary tether. Eddie is almost there - but not quite - it feels like there is something in Bucks coming out to him that will be the catalyst for him to figure that out (don't ask me what or how - I haven't figured that bit out yet but it has something to do with the whole nothing has changed between us and Eddies dawning realisation of that that gives him his own confidence to make changes in the same way Buck has!)and start his climb so he can explore the mountain (his queerness) safely.

But back to Christophers t-shirt and how it fits into everything. Christopher has his own mountains to climb - dealing with his feelings of being abandoned by his mom - by being abandoned by the women in his life - because we need to remember that Abuela is also now absent from his life as she is now back in Texas. How Ana also left and how we've very much not been shown Carla at all (or had mention on her I think) this season. we can even, by virtue of the relationship Chris and Buck share, include Taylor leaving (being kicked to the curb) as part of the list of women exiting his life in some way.

Bringing up Shannons letter and having Chris read it at the very start of the season, for me is a clear indicator that that is the arc he is going to go through this season - that while there are still elements of the Shannon of it all in Eddies story, it is actually Christopher who needs to let that ghost go and move forward, not Eddie.

911 loves to play with imagery - they excel at it in the Diaz house, and I talk about how the kids costuming on the show is always so deliberately chosen to reflect their arcs, Especially with Chris. So here we have Chris in a t-shirt with mountains, trees and climbers on - setting up the idea of exploring him climbing that mountain he has to climb, but also playing on the idea that he's a bit caught in a forest as well - cannot see the wood for the trees. It a great metaphor for his current abandonment issues - because he is still a bit too young to fully comprehend that some people are not meant to stay in your life in a permanent way or that sometimes, just because they are not physically present in a regular way, doesn't mean they have abandoned you. Hell that is a difficult thing for many adults to comprehend, so to ask a kid to - especially one who's hormones are starting to go crazy - is never going to be practical.

The fact they’ve very deliberately not shown him actually interacting with with Marisol before now - establishing her as existing in Christopher’s world but not actively being a part of it - really ensuring to set her apart and off to the side - apart form establishing the contrast between Shannon and Marisol, is so interesting and feels, to me at least, like it’s building up to possibly playing into some version of the idea of you’re not my mother etc etc. They've taken great care to establish Shannon as Christophers mother - that she is still a major presence in his life, even in her absence.

They're is also something in the way that the idea of Marisol being 'portrayed' (can't think of the right word but I hope you know what I mean) as essentially a babysitter - we've never been shown them interacting - just told that Eddie has been getting her to babysit and in tv show land if you want to tell the audience that two characters have a good relationship (of whatever form) - you show it - you don't allude to that relationship as existing - especially when you are developing a narrative around a child's fear of being abandoned by the women in his life - not showing her looking after Chris before this point, and after you have established said abandonment issue, just reenforces the nature of their relationship - that it is one Chris is not likely to be engaging in - because she's going to leave anyway so what is the point of getting attached.

Now this is interesting because it feeds into Eddies arc rather nicely - its an arc they have already established with the audience - his jumping in too quickly and without thinking things through properly. it also plays back into an already existing arc - the one where he does things for Christopher and not for himself. they are to all intents and purposes the same thing. Eddie lets Shannon back into his life - for Christopher, he re-proposes not for himself, but for Christopher and the second baby he thinks is coming, he starts dating Ana for Christopher not for himself, he Makes Buck Christophers legal guardian for Christopher (even though at this point we don't know if Chris knows this fact), yes a part of that id for himself as well, but it is predominately for Chris. Eddie asking Marisol to move in - almost immediately in the aftermath of Chris revealing to Buck that he feels abandoned by his mom and that is where his multiple girlfriends/ becoming a player is coming from - how it is having an impact on who he is becoming as a person (one who things women leave and therefore treats them as temporary), is Eddie doubling down on his relationship with Marisol as a way of giving Christopher a female who is present. The entire thing - Eddie - in therapy and healing and now in a place where he thinks his issues with Ana and becoming a ready made family etc are 'dealt with' and in the past - hearing Chris talk about Shannon that way and to then have his immediate response be to go one step further than he managed with Ana - to ask M to move in - to essentially create something permanent - the whole going with is gut - despite his own feelings and thoughts on the matter - boils down to him still doing things for Chris’s happiness and not his own feels kind of loud. Because that is what his gut tells him - double down and sacrifice yourself and your own happiness for Christopher.

on the subject of guts - its very clearly a major theme for the Diaz boys this season, the show has been using the Diaz house to great effect already on this front.

Christophers homework that he was doing in episode 1 - all aobut guts

we had him studying blood types and transfusions

the function of kidneys and the nephron (literal guts!!)

and then - when he's read Shannons letter - frog dissection - again literally looking at guts

then from up coming episodes - thanks to Jihanes bts content we know that the fridge has the following charts on it

All things related to the gut and gut health. something something about Eddies heart having been worked on and now his gut is next in line to be sorted out. Especially as catholic guilt is something that plays into the idea of being something you feel in your gut rather than heart or head - related.

And there is also something in relation to the catholic guilt of it all and Eddies gut and Chris feeling like women don’t stay thats in play with Eddies relationship with his mother - that she's stayed too present in his life and that she treated him is such a contradicting way - the juxtaposition of not letting him be a kid whilst he was a kid - needing him to be the man of the house in his fathers absence whilst then not letting him grow up/ treating him as a child when he became an adult - and dominating (or trying to) his life and how he (and Shannon) raised Christopher.

Because it is fair to assume that it was Helena who took Eddie to church every Sunday and who was predominately responsible for his religious up bringing (we don't know how long Ramon was away for but to me at least it feels implied that his business trips would be for several weeks or months at a time and then he would return home for a period before disappearing again) an therefore much of his catholic guilt is attached to her and how if they are going in the catholic guilt/queer repression direction it is Helenas forceful personality that kept him in the closet even if he managed to step back from Catholicism

Something something about hearts and guts and minds being concepts of the human condition that are so intricately intertwined and needing to be in balance - how Eddies heart has been looked at and worked on (his relationship with his father), how his gut needs to be worked on now (which is related to his mother) and then finally his mind - Eddie needing to learn to communicate and talk things through with people rather than burying it - something he cant do until he has worked through is catholic guilt and his letting his gut rule his decision making (even though it rarely pans out for him) - much like his mother has ruled over his life in one way or another until recently.

Something something about that being a mountain they are both climbing - but in different ways and therefore separately and it all comes back to them not talking - Eddie not talking to his son (he even had Buck have that initial conversation with him rather than do it himself) there is still so much misunderstanding between the Diaz boys!

Wow I did not mean for this to get long!!!! Hopefully it makes sense!!

it may just be the incoherent ramblings of a woman obsessed with the way they are picking a part Eddie and putting him back together - endlessly fascinating to me!!

[once-in-a-blood-moon]

Solomon who’s lived for so long he can’t remember most of the things he’s done so most things feel new to him 🤝 Me who has the worst memory known to man that things I’ve already done also feel brand new

[leet911]

Something something Imogen being disgusted with Delilah always being around, being afraid of being seen, of having her love of Laudna exposed. Because the thing that scares Imogen the most, is anyone knowing just how much Laudna means to her, anyone knowing just how far Imogen would go, what Imogen would be willing to do for Laudna.

And maybe that reminds both of them just how much Imogen is like Delilah in some ways.

(Is she your favourite?)(I broke the world for us!)

[sigmastolen]

shower thought: for blue mutants like beast, nightcrawler, mystique, is that blue from pigment? or is it structural? like, there are only a handful of animals that produce an actual blue pigment and iirc they're all butterflies; any blue animal "with a backbone," as NPR put it, uses structural coloration

so if their blue is structural, is it pretty stable, like a macaw or a blue jay? or does it change from different angles, like a morpho butterfly or a hummingbird's gorget?

specifically: what if kurt has been iridescent this whole time ???

[vanlegion]

A while back after I found the QvA PSAs and watched them all in a row. . . and just cacking at the time about how they just embraced the Grimmons. . . There was one about the Best Villain. It was funny as hell and I laughed. Just, Caboose. BUT... some time shortly after I kinda had a thought. Something kind of made me go 'hmm'.

Simmons thinks The Director was the Best Villain. . . . . Do you think he thought The Director was the best villain because his own life and experience the worse villain he's dealt with personally was his own abusive fuck of a father who's expectations he could never meet? Or do you think it's simply because Dr. Leonard Church pretty much fucked over not only his own family but had a reaching negative impact across countless people's lives?

Eh, I kinda see it being both, but there's defiantly some personal animosity there.

[cursed-rat-of-homosexuality]

how we feelin

(gif by @usermeggy)

pain. I feel pain

[thoughtfulfangirling]

One of the things that has me so invested in The Locked Tomb series is that it's got such a vibrant and active fandom. I just want to take a moment to appreciate the fact that some thick, not technically YA novels with no current visual adaptation has the fandom it does. I'm proud of all of you. That's really fucking cool. And FUN!

[feliciadraws]

*WANDERSONG SPOILERS*

I wanna talk about Audrey, the so-called 'Hero.' Now I'm not that good at writing or posting meta but man oh MAN Audrey is actually so much more interesting than I initially took her to be; she's actually deeply insecure about not only herself but how the world perceives her AND has a skewed, dare I say, SUPERFICIAL, idea of what it means to truly be the hero. She primarily sees it as a role she has to play or fulfill, rather than something someone chooses to be, and while she "knows" herself to be the hero, she doesn't actually BELIEVE she is A hero in herself. Even further is that she WANTS to be The Hero but is so dyed in the proverbial wool in both her insecurities and her perception of her role as The Hero that she doesn't want to stop, she wants to fulfill the role she was given so bad that she broke her promise to the Bard when she said she wouldn't kill anymore Overseer spirits upon killing the King of Hearts because, how she sees it, 'that's how it is.' What was interesting is that Audrey spoke about her dislike of being told what to do and where to go when Eyala was acting as her guide, that she found it demeaning that she couldn't think or act for herself, but was that her interpretation of being told to back down by Eyala? After all, Eyala did mention to the Bard that when she warned Audrey, Audrey felt that Eyala was 'taking something away from her', and that something was the role of The Hero, without which she would still be a nobody that no one saw or knew or cared about.

She wants to be the Hero and is so attached to that role and the adoration it had brought her and wants to fulfill that role because she believes that what truly makes her and that without the title of Hero and the Sword and the powers, she can't be A hero. Her insecurities tell her that she can't be A hero outside of being THE Hero, and she can't understand not only how the Bard had gotten so far but how he continues to have hope, despite his own innate feelings of despondence and his own melancholy. But he keeps going because of his hope, hope that he can still save the world and that there is always another, better way, a way that one can choose. A different way to be a hero, if you will. And I personally think that the Bard's approach to being a hero, it's confounding to Audrey for many reasons, one of those being that he wasn't chosen by anyone or anything to be a hero per se, but he chose to be a hero HIMSELF, despite everything acting against him, including Audrey herself. The Bard admitted he's jealous of Audrey being chosen to be the hero and her sword and her powers, not knowing that his innate goodness and his CHOICE to be good make him a hero, without the need for a sword or a title or a higher calling.

I honestly love how Wandersong toys with the definition of the word 'hero', and not only subverts the typical fantasy RPG hero archetype with Audrey, right down to the outfit and the magic sword, but DOUBLE subverts her; she could have been a twist villain who was simply a villain masquerading as a hero, but even this was subverted by making her not a hero, but not quite a villain either, but an insecure girl who sees herself as a nobody and is so obsessed with fulfilling a role that makes her a somebody that she's going to end up destroying the world and herself (both figuratively and literally), but is blinded by her self-perception and insecurities so that she can't see anything within herself that's heroic, making her both a mirror and a foil for the Bard.

I'm not sure where I was going and I know Wandersong isn't the first game to do this but I love how it was done here so far (I'm starting Act Seven), not least because I hated Audrey at first but she's actually growing on me, as much as I hate to admit it, not least that she actually resonates with me much more now this revelation has come about. I was pleasantly surprised and now I want to study this girlfail mess of a human being under a microscope.

[chaos-has-theories]

--

And now I will burn him and burn him and burn him, and he will never really die.

NtN, John 1:20 / GtN, Chapter 34

[fru1tt0ast]

hai guys.... i'm back with more cool drawings....

this is my red dead online character (atohi), his partner (wāštawešīš), and their baby (mistâpos)

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Thinking about step 9 and the whole concept of forgiveness of one’s self and others and it bringing healing and how bobby and Eddie have been paralleled a fair amount and the idea that Eddie started this process back at the end of s5 with his forgiveness and acceptance of his father but how he hasn’t yet gone anywhere near his mother and their relationship .

How his catholic guilt storyline seems more likely to play on his reltionship with his mother than his father (if his father wasn’t around that much it would’ve been Helena taking him to church etc each week) so the idea of an Eddie - Helena storyline that plays on catholic guilt and potentially his queerness in relation to that has me chewing on glass - it could be so epically good

[destroy-some-evil]

Joe has barely had any time to breath since finding out that he's Tong's stand-in.

If you break it down:

Joe had the worst christmas ever. Breaks up with Ming the next day. The day after that, he's kidnapped and has to get himself out of the situation. Either the next day or just a couple of days later, he falls of a cliff. Wakes up in another body.

Then he has one month in recovery.

Joe, being a good and responsible son and probably someone who doesn't like to sit around doing nothing, mostly likely called Wut up either the same or the next day to start working. Ing kept trying to get him to rest more but Joe didn't listen.

He meets Ming again the first day he's back at work, where he specifically tries to make sure he is not in a situation where he would run into Ming by working backstage and leaving early. Same night, he finds out Ming is still living his house that night.

His second day coming home from work he finds out his new mom owes a shit ton of money to loan sharks. Either that afternoon or the next day, Joe goes to Wut to try out for the stunt team. Here is a clothing change, so it seems like it's the next day, not just that afternoon.

Maybe another couple of days before shooting the scene where he runs into Ming again. Followed by shooting the ad with Ming soon after.

Two days later, he's breaking into his own house. Same night his mom is in the the hospital.

The next day he's Tong's stand-in on set again in order to pay for his mother's hospital bills. (Also same day, Ming is drunkenly kissing him and saying that he misses P'Joe.)

The day after that, he's making his deal with the devil he knows Ming for the money to take care of his mom. All while his heart is breaking all over again. He's trying to make different choices. And even though his reasons for making the same choices in life 2.0 are different, it has to be hard to make the same choices he made in his previous life. He's looking at another year with Ming. This time, Ming is around in both his personal life and his professional life.

Now in all that, where has he time to breathe? It's amazing that he's keeping it together as much as he is actually.

At best, I think this timeline was essentially two months (ish) for Joe compared to the two years everyone else had. He's had maybe 1/10 the time process the events of that December compared to the amount of time everyone else had. (Not that having any amount of time mattered when it came to Ming, who is the king of not processing his feelings.)

And if we take the poster of Ming selling water at the hospital as the first time Joe even sees a picture of Ming- that would mean that Joe has only one month in which to rest his heart without having to regularly face the spectator of his relationship with Ming.

Of course, Joe is going to think Ming is still looking for Tong's stand-in. He's heard that Ming only smiles around Tong. P'Joy told him he looks like Tong and he's professionally a stand-in for Tong again. That added along with all his history with Ming vs. Ming saying he misses P'Joe once while drunk (to me, this is the time that Ming has clearly made his preference for Joe obvious where Joe can see it -- if there are others, someone please get in the comments and tell me). He's not going to think that Ming is trying to keep him near because he reminds Ming of Joe 1.0.

In summary:

[amuseoffyre]

On the subject of memory in Good Omens, isn’t it interesting that Muriel, who only has people who come and see them every couple of hundred years, doesn’t seem to recognise Aziraphale despite meeting him before. You’d think they would remember all their few and limited encounters.