#I haven't been here since my first visit to mull

[idlesuperstar]

Carsaig - The Phone Box // The Pier April ‘23

[am-i-the-one]

Smoking and Vampires Kill (Reader x Spike)

'A sigh escaped your mouth as you remember the feeling of being kissed by Spike and exhaling smoke. You knew if you didn't quit smoking and break up with Spike they would have both killed you in the end.'

Summary: Your vampire ex-boyfriend visits your house when he hears you've quit smoking to try and tempt you into giving in to both.

Word Count: 2048

Ao3 link: Ao3

At midnight on New Year's Eve you walked straight into the bathroom and flushed your last pack of cigarettes. While your heart leapt up into your throat for an instant as the panic started you breathed out a sigh of relief. Trembling, you washed your hands and went to go re-join the party and find your new boyfriend in the crowd.

It's Winter break and you've been back home from studying at UC Sunnydale for two weeks now. Coincidently, that's also the number of days gone without smoking. Counting them off like prison scratches on the wall. You've always wanted to quit smoking and it didn't help when you met Spike who would chain-smoke indefinitely without the death anxiety, for obvious reasons. You first met Spike outside the Bronze one evening when he asked you for a light. Not thinking anything of it, you said he could keep it remembering all the Clippers in your draw at home. It was a novelty Halloween design with a vampire motif and the words 'blood sucker' wrapped around it. You never liked it, vampires were never your favourite monster. He looked at you credulously, with his eyes opened and slightly frowning at the suggestion. His facial expression soon relaxed and he thanked you and said he'd maybe see you inside. You thought he was strange as he blew smoke rings and poked is finger through them while looking up wistfully at the night sky.

You would only ever see him loitering outside the Bronze back alley. Since you spent half the night going inside and outside to smoke you'd end up catching him before he disappeared into the night. Soon enough, he became the sole reason you went to the Bronze. How pathetic, you thought, wanting to shiver in the cold while waiting for a stranger to appear, only to exchange a few words, maybe share a cigarette and then say goodbye.

One night you were warming yourself up with your lighter after crushing out your second cigarette waiting for Spike. You didn't think he was going to show until you turned around to go inside and there he was, brooding over the top of you and grinning manically.

"Hey Y/N! I was just looking for you. What are you doing outside? You must be freezing. Here let's go back inside."

He shuffled you indoors and bought you a hot mulled wine to warm you up. All the time shaking his head and complaining you were going to catch a cold. You moved naturally with him and followed his lead. This was the first time you had ever even seen him inside the Bronze, let alone be in his company with others around. You both sat down at a table in the back where it was away from the main stage.

"I haven't seen you in a while" you said, instantly regretting admitting you noticed.

"Yeah, I've been busy," Spike said raising his eyebrows, obviously surprised. "But I had my lucky lighter with me to remind me of you," showing you the vampire lighter out of his pocket and playing with it on the table. This made you smile that he remembered. You talked all night together until closing and he walked you home, after insisting, saying there's bad people lurking around this time of night.

It would only be a few weeks into the relationship that he would reveal his true identity as a vampire. You immediately ended the relationship in your head when his face turned into that of a beast. You weren't scared at the change in his appearance and demeanour. You only wanted to leave the Bronze and never see him again. This was three months ago and you hadn't seen him since. Not even when you braved to go our to the Bronze a few weeks after the break-up. You slowly forgot, or pretended you had forgotten, about the mystery vampire when you went to UC Sunnydale. What with all the studying, coffee and cigarettes consuming your brain you could hardly think straight let alone remember basic English. But, now you were back home and the memories consumed you. Perhaps, you thought, you had unconsciously quit smoking to forget Spike.

It was midnight, day 15, and you were kept awake by the intense cravings and nausea. You felt dizzy and the whole world was spinning when you rested your head. So, you switched on your bedside light and tried some breathing exercises. In and out. It will all go away soon, you thought. You stared out your bedroom window and remembered all the memories you had with Spike. You both had stood huddled under his leather jacket while it rained with his arm wrapped around your shoulder as you shared a cigarette. With your faces almost touching, all it took was a slight turn and that was the first time you both kissed. The cigarette forgotten about, laid burning half finished on the ground outside the Bronze. A sigh escaped your mouth as you remember the feeling of being kissed by Spike and exhaling smoke. You knew if you didn't quit smoking and break up with Spike they would have both killed you in the end. There's nothing in this world that compares to having something you love which kills you in the process. You feel both weak and strong being defeated because it means you have something to overcome.

These were the thoughts racing through your head as the clock moved between the early hours of the morning. You heard your parents snoring down the hallway and closed your eyes trying to isolate your dad's breathing and snoring. This grounded you in the moment until you heard a sudden sound outside of a lighter spark and an inhale that was followed by a familiar scratchy cough and a curse word. Paralyzed, you sat frozen on your bed while your eyes bursted open like a cat's, hair sticking up on end. You drifted to your windowsill, hiding behind the curtain and peeping outside you saw Spike standing below your window. He was leaning up against a tree in your front yard and looking straight into your bedroom. Flustered you backed away from the window. It's too dark to tell but you don't think he looked angry or upset. Honestly, it looked like he was just minding his own business, loitering in the middle of the night. Except, he was staring into your window so he obviously hasn't forgotten about you. You remember he is unable to enter the house since you never formally invited him inside. But, that didn't make him go away as there he stood waiting outside your house.

Knowing that you would be unable to sleep unless you confronted him about his stalker behaviour you returned to the window. You opened both curtains and sat down on your window sill bench wrapping the blanket around you. Breathing a deep breath, you opened your window and finally looked down at Spike.

"I had nearly given up," he said waving his lit cigarette. "I thought I was going to have to smoke a whole packet before you'd open up."

"What are you doing here Spike?" you ask, grimacing as you see his bleached blonde hair shine in the moonlight. God, how did that ever attract you.

"A little birdy told me that you've quit smoking and I've just come to give my congrats. Nothing wrong with that, is there?" He asks, grinning innocently and putting his hands up in the air. He crushes the cigarette on the ground and proceeds to light another one. "You see, I've tried quitting every turn of the century but nothing's seemed to work and I was thinking, since you're doing so well and all, you'd let me in on the secret".

This is unbelievable, you thought. He's really going to stand there all night, smoking a packet of cigarettes, trying to get inside your head. The wind rustled the leaves above Spike. Maybe if it picks up it would blow out his cigarette or at least drown out his voice. You looked into Spike's eyes as he raised his eyebrows waiting for your response.

"If you really want to know Spike, sometimes to kill one addiction you have to kill another. Like, if you always smoke when you have a drink you might have to quit both. At least for me, breaking up with you has solved all kinds of problems in my life."

"Ouch that hurts, love. But I bet that's what you wanted. Though I know you don't mean a word. I'll throw you up a smoke, if you want. Must be craving one like mad stuck in your room watching me enjoy one." He said, blowing out a cloud of smoke. You hated to admit it but he was right. You would have liked a cigarette but you couldn't bow down and accept one from Spike of all people.

"Sure and while I'm at it I think I want to get back together, don't you?"

"Cool it with the sarcasm pet, I'm just teasing you. Honestly, I want to commend you for giving it up. There's no point ruining your body when it's your only one. But I've been missing you lately. You never come to the Bronze anymore."

Why doesn't he just start crying, you thought. If you would have known he'd be this clingy you would never have spoken to him. Maybe all those times you waited in the back alley for him, he was also waiting for the right time to walk up to you. You had never thought about that before. How long could he have been staring at me, watching me, waiting to come up to me and have a smoke. It creeped you out to think of yourself as prey and Spike the predator. But that's what he was, at the end of the day. He had never raised his hand or drawn your blood, but that doesn't mean he wasn't trying to kill you. He was toying with you, making you believe you were in love with him. You thought you could never love another person except for Spike. But, you had proved that wrong having been in a more than happy relationship for months now.

You no longer needed those things that were silently killing you. Neither Spike or cigarettes were welcome into your life anymore. You stared down at Spike, smoking his third cigarette now catching a glimpse of your old vampire lighter. If only you could have known how ironic it was when you handed it over to him, he must have loved it. Reflecting back on when you first started smoking in your teenage years, you didn't know smoking was going to corrupt your body and become an irrepressible addiction. You were naïve and thought it would lessen the monotony of everyday life and make you more mature. The same was true about going out with Spike, an older guy who happened to be much older than he looks. You know you shouldn't blame yourself for what you know now but it's hard when you're consumed with deep seated regret. Especially because your body desires and craves both Spike and smoking.

"Goodbye, Spike." you whisper, just loud enough to see his face start and mouth open.

You smile sincerely looking down at Spike remembering the times you had together. The nights he'd stay out with you after closing hours and talk with you all night. But, Spike is a double-edged sword and someone who, in the end, would kill you if he had the chance. You close the curtains not turning back and curl up into bed imagining his arm around you as you smoked together in the rain. It felt so real, like he was there in bed beside you, Though you knew it was impossible you curled up next to him in his smoked-stained leather jacket and felt his arms wrap around you.

"I guess that's another addiction I haven't gotten over." you say as you breath a sigh of release. Turning out your lamp, you toss and turn trying to sleep while memories of Spike lighting a cigarette and handing it over to you with a grin churns in your brain.

[hobiebrownismygod]

Pavitr Prabhakar x Indian!Reader (Platonic)

Got sick of there being no Indian!Reader fics with my favorite ATSV characters so I wrote one :D

Even though it says "Indian!Reader", anyone can read it and not really pay attention to the race of the reader. It doesn't really matter and since the fic doesn't have a plot, it won't disturb your understanding of the fic!

Summary: Meeting Pav and getting to explore Mumbattan with him! Reader feeling a little disconnected from their culture, but having a blast after visiting Mumbattan with him.

TW: Reader is established to be a spider person, Fluff, Not much of a plot just wanted to write something cute for my desi readers!

____________________________________________________________

You were walking through Spider Society HQ, a bit tired from the sleepless night you had and hoping to find some kind of distraction from the responsibilities of being a Spiderperson. Not really paying attention to your surroundings, you began to drift into a bit of a trance, walking along the path aimlessly, nodding at the Peters and Mjs who waved at you but lost in your thoughts as you tried to process the events of last night. Fighting your universe's version of the Sinister Six, coming back home with cuts and bruises, spending the night trying to clean them and cover them so your friends and family wouldn't see your wounds the next morning, being a Spider-person was difficult to handle. You just wished you had a distraction, something you could do, somewhere you could go to calm down and destimulate. HQ was nice and all, but it was so formal, what with the training and conditioning centers, and the boring food court.

"Arre, watch out!"

You felt a body collide with yours, sending the two of you stumbling backwards and crashing into a wall. "What the-"

"Oh no, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

You looked over woozily to see the boy who'd crashed into you, wearing his decorated Spider-suit, the colors practically blinding you as he approached and tried to give you a hand to help you get up. You took his hand, trying to shake the dizzy feeling from your head before you spoke. "Its alright. How did you even-"

The boy eagerly spoke before you could finish, his tone full of excitement. "Its my first day here, and I was trying take a self-tour of the HQ, but I think I was going too fast" He said, his voice and expression seeming slightly sheepish. "I'm Spider-man! And you?"

"Spider-woman. But you don't have to call me that. My name's Y/N."

"I'm Pavitr! But most call me Pav."

"Hey Pav. Where're you from?"

"Earth-50101! At least thats what Miguel told me. For us, its just Mumbattan!"

"Mumbattan?" The place sounded oddly familiar, as if you'd heard of it before. Wait..."Do you mean Mumbai?", you asked, a smile spreading across your face.

"I don't know what Mumbai is, but sure!"

"Oh man, its been forever since I've been to Mumbai! Its been forever since I've been to...well...India in general."

"Oh?" He sounded like he was thinking something over. "Well, would you like to see your Mumbai? Or a version of it at least?"

"What do you mean?" You asked, a little confused.

"Do you want to come to Mumbattan? You have a watch, right?" Pav looked down at your wrist excitedly, seeming happy to have made a friend at the Spider Society so quickly.

"Mumbattan huh? Well...uh..." You had to mull it over. I don't have anything else to do...besides I haven't had pani puri in so long...You should to yourself, the memories of street food in India flooding back to you. Oh how you missed the place. "I'm down."

About an hour later, you and Pav were swinging through Mumbattan, with him showing off the whole city to you, pointing out the different attractions, the nicer temples, and even his own favorites, like small shops and stalls which he said he often bought from.

"And over there, they have the best chaat in the whole of Mumbattan!"

You whipped your head to the side at the mention of chaat, the memory of the delicious snack coming back to you as the aroma made its way toward where you two were sitting. "Can we get some?"

Pav nodded his head and led you closer to the stall, still staying on the roofs of the buildings, swinging above the heads of the crowds in the area. There were more than a couple stalls, probably anywhere from 20 to 50 of them, the sights and smells practically flooding your senses. "Chaat or vada pav?"

"both. Both is good."

He laughed at your response and motioned for you to wait there while he grabbed some. You took the few minutes to take in the rest of the sight. Mumbattan was beautiful. Yes, it was crowded, but the people were just a part of its charm! There were miniature temples everywhere, with women in saris and men in dhotis entering and exiting them. It reminded you a lot of home, where you family was from. I mean, it technically was your home...just a much more futuristic version of it. But then of course, some things never change. The temples, the street food, the traffic, it was all practically the same.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when Pav reappeared next to you, holding a paper plate with two different chaats in it. Papdi and samosa. Nice. He also brought vada pav, which he immediately started snacking on. "So...Indian Spider-man huh? Never thought I'd see the day"

"you're Indian too, correct?"

"eh, its not the same. You're like Indian Indian, I haven't even BEEN to India in ages."

"Well now you have, haven't you?" He said with a smile, nudging your shoulder. Damn this guy was optimistic. It was refreshing.

You chuckled at this. "Thanks for the food"

"Anytime! If you ever visit again, I'll bring you to even more stalls next time. We can get pani puri too!"

"Sounds perfect."

"Does this mean we're friends now?"

"Do you wanna be?"

"Yeah."

"Then we're friends. Us desi's gotta stick together, right?"

A/N

I didn't really know how to end it, so I kind of gave it a crappy ending, sorry for that. This fic didn't really have much of a plot, but I just really wanted to write something that was Indian/Desi reader related because despite there being a whole Indian spider-man, there's like zero fics where he encounters an Indian reader or an Indian oc! Hopefully this was readable and any and all feedback is appreciated!

I love Pav so much, I just wanna hug him and be his best friend 😭

[jazzyblusnowflake]

Why not move? I’d never stay in a country that treats its women this way. And you working for the government indirectly supports that. Good luck.

Okay so

i've been mulling over this ever since it came to my inbox and i've been trying to find a way to answer this and NOT be impolite or improper because i am aware that not everyone knows the complications of straight up moving to a different country, as it is not as simple as just moving to a different STATE, like the US, [and to be fair i've heard that even THAT could be stressful] and as someone who has LIVED in 3 countries and has visited another 5+ countries, let me tell you that your question is extremely ignorant and insensitive and straight up hurtful to all the people who both DONT want to leave their communities here and also the people who DO want to leave but are too poor to do so.... because our country, due to the prohibition by good ol' murica has now the lowest money currency value on the PLANET, and we have been suffering in silence for DECADES- with NO way to transfer money into our country- [donation campaigns are usually a scam, pay attention to those please] so in short? we are poor as absolute FUCK-!

and the process of moving somewhere else is already hard enough for people who DONT have as much financial issues, let alone US.

what exactly would anyone propose we do? when we dont have the money to request for any sort of visa, nor to get a house in a different country, nor food, nor for studying, living, getting medical or MENTAL health help- etc etc etc???

and reports of smuggling people out of the country usually come back as human trafficking or the gov blew them up or killed them somehow? idk this has actually happened with a PLANE once-

the only way to leave this country is being filthy rich, fucking LUCKY, or just a very very VERY smart student which again more often than not requires both money AND luck to get accepted in any university... so again.... no money!!!

like im sorry for snapping but here i am being told "why don't you leave" as if i haven't tried to find a way all my life, as if its some sort of sick joke- i cant, i fucking CANT!- i have family members i care about and wouldn't want to leave- other countries treat us like garbage thanks to online media portraying us as monsters- i cant spend another 10 years to study shit all over again just to send a letter to foreign universities with barely enough luck because im NOT that smart at all!! and it reminds me of when i look at my dad and say i wish we lived somewhere else and he looks at me like "then leave" in the cruelest way imaginable because he KNOWS we cant fucking leave due to him being a diplomat-

every country has its own culture and history and communities that they value and want to protect and stand by, so people cant just LEAVE, and even if they do, more often than not, other places would never accept them or appreciate them the same way their own country would. Like did yall tell black people to leave america after the BLM movement when George Floyd got killed? this is our home and we need to stop saying "then leave" and start saying "we need to start fixing this shit"

we are so fucking tired. please stop saying "then leave" if you just "don't want to help"...

as for me working for the gov, my dad is already a diplomat and keeps me away from doing anything against the regime, and also i'm considered one of the LUCKY ones in my country, who has a job that ensures a constant pay since the first semester of UNIVERSITY. im one of the few that could actually have a meal at night without worrying about what i'm going to eat tomorrow, and at the same time i teach kids from the inside to not take shit from the gov. i consider myself VERY lucky.

we aren't playing a videogame to take shallow black and white SIDES- even the protesters have destroyed privet properties and peoples cars and etc etc, and some people straight up want the monarchy system back as if that very system wasn't the entire reason that half of our countries riches and history isn't in the BRITISH museum today instead of their homeland!! this shit started over the freedom to WEAR what we want not to HURT everyone in blind rage!!!

Please never say "just leave" to anyone else ever again, especially to someone who doesn't even know if they'll live another day stepping out of the door, let alone drive all the way to an airport or the country boarders or something.... if they even HAVE the money to go that far.

So thankyou for reading and being concerned in your own way but id rather stay here and die in a country that doesn't accept me as a WOMAN than to live a futureless life in a country that wouldn't even accept me as a PERSON.

[tehuti88-art]

9/13/24: r/SketchDaily theme, "Free Draw Friday." This week's characters from my anthro WWII storyline are Otto Himmel's adopted children: Simon, Anneliese, Elka, Erna, Hugo, Monika, and Alwin. Himmel and his wife Dagmar always wanted a large family but she died giving birth to their only son Kolten; after the war, Himmel adopts a handful of orphans and with Johanna Wolfstein raises them as their own. There'll be more about them later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

Regarding their design, Elka and Erna are twins, while Hugo, Monika, and Alwin are siblings, so I gave them all distinctive lighter colored ears. Simon is the oldest of them, Anneliese the youngest.

TUMBLR EDIT: Whoo a bunch this week! For starters, please see Johanna Wolfstein's entry for how she and Himmel end up together after the war and how their family begins. Himmel's beloved wife, Dagmar, died of blood loss following Kolten's birth years ago, dashing Himmel's hopes of having a big family (during the war he envied his boss's, Jäger's, large brood, spoiling them whenever he had the chance, and was heartbroken following their deaths in the Alpine Fortress); he and Johanna, who'd also wanted kids yet couldn't have any, decide they can patch together a family together, following an orphanage visit. This entry will afterward be individualized for each child though I haven't much to share yet so these should be short. Here we go!

Anneliese is the first of Himmel's adopted children, yet also the youngest. (He adopts them in quick succession.) He actually doesn't intend to adopt her, isn't even thinking of adoption, when he and Johanna, on a visit to the city, just happen to notice the orphanage; for a reason they can't really explain, they decide to visit for a look. As soon as they enter, someone exclaims loudly, "Papa!"--then Himmel jerks to an abrupt stop. A small girl with her black bobbed hair in a bright red band rushes forward and launches herself at him, throwing her arms around his legs and nearly knocking him over--he has to steady himself with his cane. He looks down in surprise, she looks up with a huge smile--then her smile fades into uncertainty. "You're not Papa," she says, confused, and although he has no idea what's going on, Himmel feels his heart break.

"I'm so so sorry!" another voice exclaims, and a young woman approaches, picks up the child and passes her off to another worker--"Come now, Anneliese, back to your table"--then starts apologizing again profusely. "You reminded her of her father, it must be your coat and hat," she explains; "Her father was SS," she adds a bit hesitantly, "dark coat, dark hat...probably also the reason no one wishes to adopt her." She says this last bit with a sad but resigned air. Anneliese's father was killed just after the final days of the war so her memory of him is very vague, she was so young, yet she does remember him. She's been here ever since; although many people have shown interest in adopting her, upon hearing of her parentage, they've all moved on. It's as if who her father was is a curse she has to carry now, through no fault of her own.

This comment--that it's as if little Anneliese is cursed--hits Himmel hard. He knows the feeling. He and Johanna head home but he spends much of the evening in silence, mulling. Johanna notices yet says nothing, knowing it's not aimed at her; Himmel may not always be the most outspoken, but he's also not passive-aggressive, they know and trust each other well enough that he would just tell her if they had a problem between them. When they're lying in bed late that night, however, and it's obvious neither is sleeping, she touches his arm, a silent question. "I can't stop thinking about that little girl," Himmel murmurs, "waiting all this time for her father to come home." They both lie staring at the ceiling for a while, then turn to each other and both say at once, "Do you think...?" Then cut themselves off. Then urge the other to finish their thought first. Then fall silent. Then Himmel ventures, "You said...you said once that you wanted children."

"I remember you did, too," Johanna says.

Himmel bites his lip. "Do you think...do you think perhaps this is a sign? That she thinks I'm her father? Or...I know you don't look for signs...yet, do you think, maybe...?"

He falls silent, uncertain about the idea now. Johanna knows he's losing his nerve--he constantly doubts and second-guesses himself--so she speaks up before he can. "I think we should," she says, and Himmel's spirits are buoyed.

They return to the orphanage. Himmel summons the courage to ask about Anneliese...would it be possible for him to adopt her? He and Johanna are unsure, as they aren't married, so Himmel would be the sole name on the forms. He has a good home, however--lots of space--lots to do--a safe environment, and lots of love to give. Does he have experience with children? Yes, he often helped care for his former boss's many children, they all loved him, and he has a grown son of his own. Only now does he falter again, and has to be honest with the administrator...his son has a developmental disability, and sometimes has temper tantrums and difficulty interacting with others. He's a good boy, though, a quick learner, and Himmel is certain he would never harm a child. Does he know how he will react toward Anneliese, the woman asks?...Himmel hesitates, admits he's not sure, but he knows, he just knows, his son would never harm her.

The administrator suggests that Anneliese visit Himmel's home along with her, give the girl a chance to see the place while the administrator examines how safe the home is and how appropriate the environment. Given the difficulty of adopting children out right now, especially one like Anneliese, she's willing to bend some rules, yet she can't just hand a child over willy-nilly. Himmel readily agrees, he's an open book, he has nothing to hide.

The administrator brings Anneliese out to the country house the next day. Himmel is anxious but accommodating, showing the administrator around while Johanna tends to Anneliese. It's a big house with lots of stairs and ledges and places to get lost in; Himmel promises that as long as she's still so young, Anneliese will be watched like a hawk to keep her safe. Then comes time for Anneliese to meet Himmel's son, Kolten. Himmel had told him what to expect the previous day, as he doesn't like surprises; he's been lurking in his playroom this entire time, and now Himmel goes to fetch him. Kolten peers out uncertainly, gives a soft hallo when Himmel introduces the woman. She seems a bit caught off guard by his size and appearance yet says hallo back. Himmel coaxes him out as Johanna arrives with Anneliese; Anneliese breaks away from her and rushes at Himmel, throwing her arms around his legs again. She may realize now that he's not her father, but he's close enough. Himmel stoops and points out Kolten. Anneliese peeks at him and Kolten stares back; after a moment she lets go of Himmel, takes an uncertain step toward Kolten--finger in her mouth--looks over just how big and imposing he is--then launches herself at him and throws her arms around his neck.

Everyone's--especially Kolten's--eyes go wide. The adults suck in a breath--Himmel has mentioned Kolten's need for boundaries and safe places--so no one has any idea what to do or how to react. Kolten goes stiff--blinks--then wraps his arms around Anneliese. Himmel holds up a hand as if to urge him to let go before he can accidentally hurt her, though Anneliese doesn't let go; he isn't squeezing too hard or frightening her at all. In fact, an unusual thing--Kolten actually smiles as he hugs her back.

The rest of the visit, Anneliese alternates between clasping Himmel's hand, and clinging to Kolten, who lifts her as if she's light as a feather. He shows her his blocks, and even tolerates her stacking a few of them (apart from his own structure). When it's time to go, he looks crestfallen, and Anneliese's face quivers and she starts crying. Himmel tries to calm her down, promising to stop by tomorrow--with hope, she'll be able to come home with him again--then she runs to Kolten and clings to him again, not wanting to leave. Kolten hugs her, gently puts a massive hand on her head, murmurs, "Papa can bring you back tomorrow--ja? And you can look at my books and play with my blocks, ja?--bitte, Papa?" Himmel replies that this is what they hope to do, and offers Anneliese a final hug before the administrator carries her back out to the truck, squalling her lungs out. Kolten returns to his room to sulk; Johanna isn't sure what to think, but Himmel seems convinced that it went remarkably well, considering...although he has to wipe at his own streaming eyes as he says so.

A knock comes at the door late that night. Himmel and Johanna are surprised to see the administrator--quite frazzled looking--with Anneliese asleep in her arms: "I know it's dreadfully late but bitte, may I come in?" As Anneliese dozes on the couch, the woman opens her briefcase and spreads out some forms on the kitchen table; the girl cried all day and evening as if her heart would break, and nothing could console her, she wouldn't even eat. It was only as the administrator was driving back out to Himmel's place that she finally fell asleep from sheer exhaustion, but "I can't bear the thought of her waking and starting again! I just know that she will. I've never seen her get so attached to anyone as she has to your family, Herr Himmel; I don't think she would ever want to be with anyone else. And obviously your son has gotten attached to her as well. I can see she will be loved here. Bitte, if you will, I've brought all the forms needed to finalize the adoption process. You and Frau Johanna wish to take her in...? I'm hoping I didn't misunderstand..."

No, she didn't. Himmel promptly signs the forms. Kolten, who'd heard the talking and peeked out of his room, offers to take Anneliese up to the room they'd been preparing for her, as Himmel's leg is bad; he scoops her up so gently she doesn't even wake, and carries her up the stairs. He peeks out again a moment later and begs to be allowed to stay by her bed just tonight, in case she wakes and is confused or scared; Himmel grants permission, as long as he stays on the floor, and says he'll fetch an extra blanket and pillow. Over the moon, he thanks the administrator repeatedly, clasping her hands: "Danke, danke, she'll be well cared for here, we'll give her everything she needs." The woman thanks them for their indulgence and departs; Himmel brings a blanket and pillow to Kolten, who settles happily in the corner of Anneliese's room. Himmel kisses the girl's forehead and returns to Johanna; a bit of his anxiety returns--"I hope we did the right thing, do I really know what I'm doing?"--yet Johanna promptly shuts this down: "You know exactly what you're doing, Liebe! Don't listen to the doubt. Listen to your heart. It never steers you wrong."

Anneliese wakes as Anneliese Himmel. She fits comfortably into the little family, and is there to welcome all the newcomers who follow, though she remains closest to Kolten, often riding around on his shoulders as he does work in the yard. And the two of them love giving each other hugs. Along with Simon, Anneliese is the one to comfort him the most after Himmel's death years later, hugging him tight as he cries, and promising with the others to always be his family.

Please see Anneliese's siblings' entries: Kolten, Simon, Elka and Erna, Hugo and Monika and Alwin.

[Anneliese Himmel 2024 [‎Friday, ‎September ‎13, ‎2024, ‏‎12:01:16 AM]]

[dragon-kazansky]

Sweet wonderful Andrea | Andrea Marowski

Part 1 | Part 2

It was a few days since he asked you that question. You had been mulling it over ever since. You knew going to London would change his life forever, but you really had no idea what you would do. You had never left Cornwall before.

Yet, the answer was obvious. You just needed the courage to admit it. You would be a fool to make stay and let the opportunity pass him.

You had never ran so much before. Your lungs were burning at the speed you were pushing yourself. You had made up your mind and you needed to tell him. Now.

You reached the house, gasping for breath, and knocked ever so urgently on the door.

Ursula answers.

"Is Andrea here? I need to speak to him."

She looks a little startled, watching the way you lean against the door frame trying to steady yourself.

"No. He went out."

You immediately try and think of where he could do. Turning on your heel, you peer down the cliff, but the beach is bare. There's not a soul in sight. With your new found energy, you take off.

Janet comes up behind Ursula in time to see you run off.

"What's that about?"

"I have absolutely no idea."

You're running as fast as your legs will let you go. The burning in your lungs feels so much worse this time around. You were definitely going to feel this tomorrow.

He wasn't in the pub, the park, the shop. He definitely wasn't waiting at your house.

Olga. He had been visiting her. You knew where she lived. You kept on running. You didn't stop, not even when friends in the village called your name.

You just wanted Andrea.

The house came into sight. The door opened and Andrea came out, a smile on his face. Olga was seeing him out.

"Andrea!" You called.

Andrea turned upon his name being called. His smile got bigger upon seeing you. You were coming at full speed, he opened his arms and caught you, almost falling over himself as you collided into his chest.

"What are you doing?" He asks, laughing at your frantic state.

"I made up my mind."

He holds onto your arms waiting for your answer. His heart was going wild in his chest, but it couldn't compare to yours.

"Yes?"

"I'll come with you. I'll go to London with you. Don't ever give up on your dream for my sake, but I will come with you."

He hugs you to his chest tightly. You cling onto him crying happy tears. There was nothing in this world you wanted more than him, so you were more than willing to run away with him.

Andrea kissed your forehead as you pulled away. He turned to Olga who was smiling at you both.

"Then gather your things. We leave as soon as possible," she said.

You smile at Andrea. He takes your hand in his, waves at Olga, and walks back to your house.

"You should go pack," you tell him.

"I only need two things," he says.

"Only two things?"

"Yes. My violin and you."

You chuckle at his sweet remark. You push him lightly out your door and kiss his cheek.

"Then go get the violin. I'll be here."

He grins at you as he leaves your house.

You pack a small case and leave a note by the door. You were off. No intention of coming back. You would follow Andrea as he followed his dreams, and nothing made you happier.

Andrea was back before you knew it. Violin case in hand.

"What did they say?" You ask, looking up at him.

"I did not tell them."

"Andrea... you must."

Olga pulls up outside your house, bags packed and ready.

"I cannot. I fear they will not like it. I will write." He holds out his hand to you. "I only need you right now."

You take his hand and bring it your lips to kiss it.

"Alright, but you owe them an apology for leaving."

He nods.

You both get into the car and join Olga to London. There was no looking back now.

Ursula and Janet found out the hard way. They had called the police, worried about Andrea's whereabouts. He hadn't come back for dinner.

Janet puts the phone down and turns to her sister.

"Well?"

"He was seen with Y/N and that Olga woman. They were getting on a train."

Ursula didn't handle that too well.

The letter didn't arrive until a week later. A lot had happened since then. The apology they deserved was written first. Andrea then went on tell them about how his music career would take off. Andrea was musically gifted, they knew that.

It was the last page of the letter that got them the most.

We are both very happy here and have come a long way. My English is improving, yes? Y/N continues to teach me. We have great news to share too. We intend to marry in the spring. An invite will be delivered to you when things are more certain. Please do come. It would be wonderful to see you both again. I haven't forgotten all you have done for me.

Best wishes,

Andrea

Ursula reads the letter over and over sometimes. The young man that washed up below their house had come a long way.

And now he had you with him.

Their sweet wonderful Andrea.

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn @lostghostgirl94 @friday18eo @yaskna @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @gingerwriter97 @lunamooney2406

[mooniefics]

— first impressions

pairing : zeke jaeger / fem reader / reiner braun

word count : 7.5k

tags : sorta fluff (i can’t help myself i love reiner), eventual smut, threesome (f/m/m), situational humiliation, one night stand, spitroasting, drunk + unsafe sex

warnings : nsfw, mild sexual coercion

summary : a chance meeting between you and reiner leaves you enjoying an evening with the warriors upon their much anticipated return from the war. but doing your new friends a favor leads to a night you'll never forget.

— originally posted 12 / 22 / 20 on ao3 —

"reiner! is that really you?!"

you stood quickly from your place at the booth, unable to stop yourself from scrambling up to the small group of soldiers, who were all looking down at you with a mixture of confusion and amusment.

"you didn't tell us you had a girlfriend back home, braun." the dark-haired woman to his right teased, earning a crossed frown from your friend.

"not my girlfriend." he muttered, ignoring their chuckles as he turned his attention back to you, "i haven't changed that much in a few months, have i?"

you sighed, a relieved grin breaking out across your face as he opened his arms to you, gratefully accepting his invitation and squeezing him tight, face pressing into his shoulder. the scent of gunpowder that usually clung to him in his uniform was absent on his civilian clothes, replaced instead with the pleasant smell of fresh linen. "a few months? felt more like a whole year to me."

you stayed cognizant of the people behind him, now exchanging curious glances at the sight of their comrade's affection, the woman who'd initially teased him whispering something to the stern looking man by her side that made his expression crack into a small grin. he pulled away from you after a moment, a soft smile warming his usually sullen features, which dampened at a hand being placed on his shoulder.

"would you care to introduce us, reiner?" a low voice asked, the speaker stepping to reiner's side to get a good look at you.

you instantly recognized the man, face flushing with embarrassment as you scrambled to find your words. "c-captain jaeger! i apologize for interrupting your evening, p-please forgive-"

"nonsense." he said, holding out his hand for you to shake, "and no need for the formalities, feel free to call me zeke."

you clasped your hands gratefully around his, shaking vibrantly much to his amusement. you exchanged names with the remaining three, the tired looking but jovial woman, pieck, insisting that you join them on their night out. seeing as you had already planned to be at the old bar for the rest of the night by yourself, you had no qualms with inviting them all to fill the remaining seats of the booth you'd been occupying before they entered.

"pock here isn't much of a talker," she said after everyone got themselves situated, poking the cheek of the man she'd been whispering to earlier, "he's a little shy, but don't hold it against him."

"i thought i told you not to call me that.." he grumbled in reply, smacking away her hand and earning a small round of laughter from everyone at the table. the freshest face among them, colt, flagged down the barmaiden that was milling about the tavern floor, ordering a beer for everyone at the table with a kind smile.

"this'll be the only one for me tonight." you told him across the table after the woman had sauntered away, "i kinda didn't budget to be drinking more than one beer tonight anyways.."

"don't worry about it." you turned at reiner's voice beside you, gaze flitting down to see him thumbing through the bills in his wallet, "i'll pay for you tonight. my treat."

"nice to see that you know how to treat a lady." zeke quipped with a grin from his place on your left, earning another unreadable frown from reiner, but you could see the flush creeping up on his cheeks as a result of the implication.

before he could dismiss his friend, the barmaiden had returned, toting six mugs filled to the brim with beer on her serving platter. everyone murmured their thanks as she passed them around the table, her eyes lingered on colt before she slipped away to attend to another awaiting party.

"look at you, colt! haven't even been here for thirty minutes and you've already got the ladies swooning." pieck drawled, taking a long sip from her mug with a smile on her lips as she watched the young man stammer out an excuse.

you couldn't help but laugh along at the display, taking a generous drink of your own as you watched the conversation pick up around you. pieck seemed to be more than comfortable with everyone at the table, fueling the majority of the discussion with her playful words. porco, as she'd said, didn't seem to be much of a talker, but nodded along to what the others said, contributing a brief input when he saw fit and staying silent for the rest of the time. colt wasn't naive, but he was easy to tease, the perfect target for little jabs here and there from around the table that drew irritated, flustered protests from him and made everyone laugh.

the dynamic that had intrigued you the most was that between zeke and reiner. they didn't speak directly to the other often, mostly relaying remarks through their responses to the others, but when they did, there seemed to be an odd sort of tension between them. not exactly rivals, but not exactly friends either. they were on the same team, but there was a clear disconnect between them despite that. you felt every slight shift that reiner made when zeke addressed him, debating on whether you should request to move from your place between them for your sake or stay as a buffer for reiner's.

everyone was on their third glass—the only exception being reiner, who was nearly through his fourth—definitely loosened up though not quite drunk yet, but before you could put much thought into how you'd go about doing that, porco spoke to you for the first time. "so, how do you even know reiner?"

"oh! i'd also like to know too!" pieck piped up between sips, downing the rest of her mug in one go and resting her chin in her hands. everyone's attention had turned to you in an instant, intently waiting for your response, making your posture stiffen as you twisted your hands in your lap.

"well, it was a few years ago, when the war with the mid-east had just started ramping up." you began, tensing up the slightest bit when you felt your hand brush reiner's under the table, "i was working at the produce shop down on kaiser lane, and one day reiner came by with his mother on one of her grocery visits, she had always spoken to me about him when i was counting up her total. i asked her if this was son she was always talking about, and she said yes and introduced us. reiner looked tired," pieck giggled at that. "so i tried to hurry it up a little for his sake, and then she paid and they both went on their way. later that day i came here, and i saw him sitting alone at the counter, so i decided to sit down next to him and see if he could put up with my insufferable small talk for a little while. we ended up talking all night, and we've been great friends since then."

"well, isn't that the sweetest thing," pieck smiled warmly at you from across the table, balancing her head on one hand so could pensively drum her fingers across the wood, "if i didn't know any better, i'd say you two made a lovely couple!"

"pieck, would you stop bothering reiner." porco chided, waving a hand at your friend, "just look at him, he looks like he's one more girlfriend comment away from popping a blood vessel."

reiner grumbled out a low 'fuck you', gulping down the rest of his beer and flagging down the barmaiden as the rest of the warriors shared a hearty laugh at his expense. you yourself were similarly blushing at their constant assertions of something more between the two of you. it's not as if you hadn't mulled the idea over in your head many times before on all the previous outings you'd been on together, and the few times the two of you had gotten drunk enough to fool around a bit before one of you came to your senses and excused yourself for the night.

there were some days where you were glad you kept a modest distance between yourselves, and there were others where you wanted to do nothing more than throw all caution to the window and just enjoy one irresponsible night of doing whatever came to mind, no doubts or worries or responsibilities to get in the way, politics and the war be damned. you started to shake away those unnecessary thoughts, but zeke did a much better job of distracting you when his arm fell around your shoulders, giving you a friendly squeeze as he spoke.

"i see that even in good company, my colleagues' manners still aren't up to par," he said, directing his words at you but talking loud enough for anyone to hear, "allow me to apologize on their behalf."

"oh hush, zeke, you're the worst out of all of us!" pieck argued through her laughter, playfully kicking his shin under the table, "you're only playing nice because she's here."

her words didn't draw his attention away from your face, gleaming grey eyes intently drinking in the emotions passing over your flushed features. you laughed nervously, turning away to face the rest of the table, sneaking a glance at reiner as the barmaiden swept by to clean up the empty glasses and replace them with filled mugs. he had an irritated frown drawn across his lips, worry lines creasing his face as he gulped down half of his mug in seconds.

"look's like you're finally not the one overdoing it, huh colt?" you heard pieck whisper into the young man's ear, snickering at him when he turned away from her and huffed.

just glancing around at them all made you forget that everyone of them were living on borrowed time, that in less than a month they would most likely be shipped out on their next assignment to defend marley against any one of the neighboring nations that were just waiting to pounce at the slightest slip up. aside from reiner, they all seemed to be forgetting that fact as well in favor of just enjoying this night while it was still young.

another banter-filled hour passed, your table not noticing how the bar had been steadily emptying as closing time drew near. zeke had kept his grasp around you for the entire time, much to reiner's dismay, which was evident on his face each time you tried to coax him back into the conversation, always faltering each time zeke peered over you to repeat your question to him with a thinly veiled haughtiness. reiner had gone through more beer than anyone at the table, his flushed face and low-lidded gaze along with his slurring words letting you know just how drunk he'd really become. but aside from his borderline unpleasant exchanges with your friend, zeke was incredibly charismatic, almost overbearingly so, your own intoxication making it easy for you give in to his infectious energy and laugh along with him and everyone else at the table.

sure, you were worried about reiner, but he knew that you would always be friends at the end of the day, and you had to make a good impression on these newly introduced people who were so kind as to invite you in on one of their rare leisurely getaways from the military barracks. so you let yourself lean into zeke's side, relishing in the warmth that you'd been craving for so long—a warmth that the alcohol only made you want more and more—the break in your routine that you'd been searching for in an evening alone turning into a night that you were sure you wouldn't forget for a long time. they didn't even seem to care that you weren't an honorary marleyan, or even that you were a lowly blue-collar worker that made a measly sum at her meaningless job on a forgettable street corner.

but alas, the blissfully ignorant fun of the table's atmosphere was dampened by the arrival of the barmaiden with your table's tab, setting it down in front of colt with a coy smile as she gathered up the rest of your empty glasses and disappeared into the back of the tavern.

"aw colt, you never made your move!" pieck chided, giggling as she dug into the pocket of her skirt to reach for her wallet just as everyone else around the table was doing.

"reiner.. are you okay?" you gently nudged his arm, looking over with concern at the sight of him. his elbow was propped on the table, forehead resting in the heel of his palm as he stared down at his lap, mouth drawn into a slight frown.

"shit, he's loaded." porco commented snarkily.

"we can't let magath see him like this!" colt said nervously, looking around at his colleagues, waiting for one of them to come up with a plan to deal with this new issue.

you glanced from colt to reiner, then up at zeke, turning back to everyone as you made an offer. "well.. i have a guest room at my house, he could stay there for the night if it makes things any easier for you all."

"oh, you're an angel!" pieck sighed, reaching across the table and clasping your hands in hers, "and if the commander asks, i could say that he decided to stay with his family!!"

"sharp as always, pieck." zeke chimed from beside you, "though, i don't think it'd be fair to make her watch him all by herself, so i think it'd be best if i help her out with him for the evening, just to be sure he doesn't cause her any trouble."

he met eyes with pieck, and for a moment you thought you saw the briefest flash of realization cross her features, the slightest smirk perking up at her lips before her face relaxed back into its natural smile and she nodded at him. "great idea." she said, tugging at porco and colt's sleeves, "i'll deal with these two, and i'll tell the commander that you had a change of heart as well. reiner, hand me your wallet if you can't count the bills."

"i've got it." he grunted, fumbling with his wallet for a few moments before slamming a fistful of bills down in front of her.

"thank you very much!" she sang happily, getting all the money in order and putting her own small tip for the barmaiden before she slapped colt's arm a few times, prompting him to start scooting out of the booth.

zeke finally retracted his arm to begin leaving the booth, standing out on the floor and offering his hand out to you. you flushed, taking it and allowing him to help you to your feet. everyone got themselves situated, stepping out of the bar and saying their goodbyes, pieck, colt, and porco turning to make their way back to the barracks, zeke slinging reiner's arm over his shoulder and following you along as you gave directions on how to get to your home.

there wasn't many words exchanged between the three of you on your short walk, only having some small talk with zeke between the bouts of comfortable silence hanging around you in the warm night air. you arrived home within minutes, wrestling the key into the old lock and holding open the door for zeke to help reiner in.

"i can walk myself, jaeger." he muttered while kicking his shoes off, earning a low chuckle from the older man.

"then why aren't you doing it right now?"

he didn't get a response as you directed them to your bedroom, hoping to settle him down as soon as you could in the hopes of him being able to get enough rest to sleep off the worst parts of his hangover. while zeke assisted him, you scampered over to the guest bedroom to get it ready for your other, less intoxicated guest. but as you opened the door to the bedroom, you were mortified at the sight of your mess upon looking into the room. in the moment of wanting to do something nice for your friends, you'd completely forget about how you'd basically turned your spare room into more of a storage closet.

looking around to try and think about where to get started, hopefully make it look like you didn't completely neglect this room for the past few months before zeke finished putting his friend to bed, you felt a hand on your shoulder, stiffening in surprise as you slowly turned to look at him.

"i-i'm really sorry, i totally wasn't expecting guests tonight, and i promise i've been meaning to move everything to the basement-"

"don't worry about it, really." he stopped you before you could continue to profusely apologize, offering you another one of those warm smiles that made your knees feel weak, "let me help you, it's the least i could do after you opened your home to a couple of irresponsible soldiers." to your surprise, he brushed past you, picking up one of the many boxes that had accumulated on the bed and floor over the months. "you said you had a basement, right? would you mind showing me where it is exactly?"

unable to find your words, you pointed halfheartedly to the door at the end of the hall, watching him carry one of the few boxes that had left you panting by the time you'd transported them across the house with ease, not even having to set it down to open the door and begin descending the steps. his quick return up the steps finally spurred you into action, hauling another box into your arms and repeating his path of depositing it down in your basement and returning to your room to grab another, making sure to take it slow on your way down the steps from how heavy the alcohol made your limbs feel.

within a few minutes, you both had everything squared away. you let yourself take a seat on the now empty bed, breathing out a sigh of relief and wiping the sweat that had begun to bead around your forehead with the back of your hand, watching as he settled down next to you. "sheesh, you made all that heavy lifting look so easy! and thank you again, for doing such a generous favor for me."

"there's no need to thank me." he replied earnestly, a hand settling on your thigh, making you suppress a small flinch, "you have a lovely home, do you really live all on your own?"

you tried to laugh off the warmth of his hand on your skin through your long skirt. "y-yeah, it's just been me for a while. sometimes friends come over for the night, but for the most part, it's just me."

zeke hummed pensively, grey eyes shining with something dangerous as he gazed down at you. "makes sense that someone such as yourself hasn't found anybody qualified enough to settle down with," he grinned at your flustered expression, openly appreciating the way your eyes widened and you breathed out a soft, indecisive 'thank you', "though, i was so sure that you and reiner had something between you.."

"n-no! it's not like that." the words spilled out of your mouth before you could even think about them, the desire to answer him overriding any clear thought that might cut through your intoxicated embarrassment, "i'm sure s-soldiers such as him and yourself don't really have time to play around with people l-like me."

you mentally slapped yourself for coming to such a conclusion, let alone allowing it to actually exit your brain and be heard by the most esteemed guest you'd probably ever have the honor of hosting.

"oh?" he peered curiously at you, thumb rubbing a slow stroke over your leg, face seeming much closer than it was a few blinks ago, "and what exactly is that supposed to mean?" you knew just how intentional his word choice was, practically setting up a verbal trap for you to fall into, but how could you not take the bait when it was marley's strongest warrior dangling it before you?

"i-i-i'm sorry, s-sir— zeke!"

you scrambled to correct yourself, looking any place except his face and wanting to do nothing more than hide away somewhere where neither him nor reiner could find you to sober yourself up before you could humiliate yourself any further. but you felt the desperation that was now gripping your pounding heart start to squeeze like a vice around it when a rough hand found your chin, gently turning your head to face him again.

"again with the apologies.. what am i going to do with you?"

your bottom lip quivered, more frantic sorries threatening to spill out, but stopped by the lack of air that you were able to take in from his proximity. you hadn't even realized you were holding your breath until you felt a tight ache seize your chest, exhaling an alarmed breath as you stared up into the glinting grey irises studying your face, mirroring their actions at the tavern but containing all of the hunger he'd been hiding in front of his comrades. the hand of your thigh slid up your leg just an inch, zeke breathing out a chuckle at the feeling of you tensing under his touch.

"if you must know," his face was so close that you could even see the pale freckles dotting across his sharp cheekbones and the bridge of his nose, the shadowed contour of his face looking even deeper in the dim light of the guest room, parted lips exhaling a warm breath that fanned across your face, the scent of alcohol still evident as he slowly spoke, "a soldier such as myself can make plenty of time to play around with someone like you."

you couldn't barely contain your awe, drawing in another shaky, shallow breath at the feeling of his lips brushing across your own, just daring you to indulge in his offer. you could barely form a cohesive thought before your brain forced a new topic into your conscious, confusion and shock and abrupt desire drowning out all the rationality that you were so desperately grasping for in this moment.

you'd just met this man tonight, it didn't matter that you'd known of his grand legacy even from when you were a young girl or felt like you'd gotten to know him quite a bit in that short amount of time, you'd only shaken his hand and drank with him and sat face-to-face with him for the first time just a few hours ago. not to mention how the person you were truly familiar with, the one who wasn't nearly a decade your senior, the one you had really been yearning for was just down the hall in your bed, only two shut doors and a few thin walls away from this spectacle. but, zeke was right in front of you, and he was offering out an opportunity that was impossible to refuse—an offer that you really, really didn't want to refuse.

so you didn't. you gave in to the sinful temptation of his warmth, his skin, his soft touches with calloused, work-roughened hands, the knowledge that this kiss was only just the beginning of something unforgettable.

in contrast to his hands, his lips were soft, ridiculously soft as they pressed over yours, the fingers at your chin unfurling to cup the length of your jaw. you leaned into his touch, earning a pleased grunt from him when your trembling hand found his hair, slowly carding through it as you focused on maintaining the easy rhythm of his kiss. you stifled a small sound when the hand on your leg smoothed up to your inner thigh, not pressing any further, just gently stroking and giving the occasional squeeze to the pliant flesh through your skirt.

you could feel the light flutter in your chest heavy and knot into something familiar, twisting deep in your stomach as he sucked at your bottom lip, nipping at it before his attention wandered across your cheek, the hand at your jaw tilting your head up to expose more of your neck to his eager mouth. faint kisses gave way to teasing bites and licks, drawing a soft whimper as he sucked with the intent to bruise where your shoulder met your neck. he seemed to appreciate the way your grasp in his hair tightened, the hand on your thigh traveling across your waist to find the knotted string holding up your skirt.

the progression of his actions felt natural, but almost too fast at the same time, your hand giving an apprehensive tug to his hair when you felt the waistline of your skirt go slack with the undoing of its lacing. he groaned lowly at the sensation, spurring you to do it again when his teeth grazed over the forming redness just right. you could feel the haze of arousal fogged your mind already, all rationale dissipating under the influence of the alcohol and the hands that were now roaming your body, searching for a moment for the top button of your shirt before they began to messily undo those as well. each brush of his fingers across your bare skin sent goosebumps across the expanse of your chest, making quick work of your blouse as he pushed it over your shoulders, guiding your arms out of the sleeves before tossing it aside in favor of working on the clasp of your bra, never pulling away from his place at your neck for more than a moment before returning the bruising attention of his mouth back over the flushed skin.

you breathed out a weak whimper at the feeling of his thumb and forefinger taking one of your nipples between them, bra forgotten somewhere on the floor with your shirt, baring the entirety of your naked torso to him. he could feel how you squirmed when another hand smoothed down your stomach, slipping beneath your skirt's waistline and settling just between your legs, only a sheer barrier provided by your thin underwear, the arousal threatening to soak through the fabric leaving it clinging to every fold. he hummed appreciatively at the welcome surprise, drawing more stifled sounds out of you when his fingers slowly stroked over your clothed cunt.

"all this just for me?" he murmured lowly in your ear, thumb pressing down on your clit, rubbing slow circles over the sensitive nub.

his touch was electrifying, almost overwhelmingly good as you arched into it, the hand at your breast now groping at the supple flesh, palm offering a much-needed friction over your nipple. you finally registered his teasing question, barely managing a disoriented 'mhm' and a small nod, unable to think of anything else besides your heartbeat pounding loud enough that you though he might be able to hear, and the fingers prodded at you and teasing your body as they pleased.

your half-lidded gaze drifted to the door, blinking away the fogginess when you realized it wasn't actually properly shut. you opened your mouth to try and murmur out your observation, but the words in your head spilled out as an incoherent moan, feeling his mouth detach from your bruised neck before he urged you down onto the mattress. but the sight of him standing above you, tugging off his shirt and revealing the impressively toned physique of his stomach and chest, made you forget the ajar door behind him entirely. your hands moved without a second thought, pushing your skirt and underwear down your legs as far as you could, kicking them the rest of the way off as he began to unbuckle his belt.

you couldn't help the way your eyes widened when he shoved down his pants and underwear in one go, unable to choose between focusing your gaze on the smug smirk drawing across his lips or his achingly hard cock, already looking like more than you could handle even at a distance. he plucked his glasses off his face, setting them on the bedside table before he moved over you in bed, your hands tugging him down into a kiss and earning a low chuckle against your lips.

"eager little thing, aren't you?" he only pulled away for a moment to speak, knuckles dragging down the swell of your breast and curving down your waist. your legs spread in anticipation, back arching off the bed when his fingers finally trailed down between your thighs to smooth a finger down your pussy. "and so, so wet."

you squeaked at the intrusion of two thick fingers pumping into you, sliding in easily with a soft, wet sound. the rhythm of your lips faltered, whimpering as his tongue slid between your teeth, tangling with yours, mouth greedily swallowing every desperate sound you made for him. you were grateful for how he was muffling you, just barely remembering that there was another presence in your house besides you and zeke that you had to worry about, heat sparking up your spine at the feeling of his fingers curling just right inside you.

the thought of reiner finding you in here with the captain of his squad, so pathetically obedient and practically dripping from just his fingers, was horrifying and unnervingly thrilling all at once. would he be angry with you? why would he be? what did he even consider you as?

you couldn't dwell on that thought for too long, hips bucking and toes curling when his thumb rubbed firm circles over your clit, wordlessly begging for more. he seemed to be just as impatient as you were in the face of your desperation, pulling away from your lips and removing his touch from between your legs, rolling himself onto his back and tugging you on top of him in one swift motion. you flush even deeper as you watched him drink in the sight of your naked figure, large hands finding your hips, pupils blown wide enough to nearly swallow up the silvery grey of his irises as he eased you down so his cock was just at your aching cunt, offering a sliver of mercy by allowing you to seat yourself onto him as fast or slow as you'd like.

just the first few inches had you whimpering, hands settling on his chest to steady yourself, teeth worrying the skin of your bottom lip, trying to contain the borderline humiliating sounds that were making him grin so smugly up at you. you could feel tears pricking your eyes by the time you finally sank all the way down, deep, shaky breaths giving away your lack of composure even more so than the way the thighs on either side of him tremble, or the nails now digging into the toned muscles of his shoulders. he gave you just a moment of respite, letting you get used to the feeling of something so big before his grip on your hips fastened, fingers sinking into the soft flesh as he began to guide you up and down on his cock.

the low groan your motion earned from him was enough to make your already pounding heart race even faster, heat echoing through you in a way that made it impossible to silence the heated whines that were spilling out of you. the bed squeaked in protest beneath you, but you could care less as you quickened the pace he'd started you at all on your own, admiring the flush that had darkened over his handsome features and the parted lips breathing out low curses and appraising groans.

his eyes fell shut, head falling back before he forced it back up, gaze wandering across your face, then your body, then flitting elsewhere for the briefest moment before they returned to you, hips now thrusting up with even more vigor to meet your own. you moaned openly, struggling out a meaningless string of pleas, the ache beginning to burn in your legs drowned out when he reached out to rub tight, fast circles around your clit. he was grinning now, licking his lips before he spoke in a knowing slur, "you're gonna cum soon, aren't you?"

"yes, f-fuck yes..!" it took you a moment to find your words, embarrassed by how fast he'd managed to work you up to this point but unable to be dishonest in your current position.

his motions didn't falter in the slightest, only seeming to grow more and more urgent as you quivered and whined, bouncing yourself up and down on his cock like it was the last time you'll ever get the chance to do it. and while that's likely the case, you don't care to think about it, too wrapped up in the way you could feel that pressure that had been welling in your stomach finally reach a breaking point, stammered curses devolving into breathless cries as you came hard around him.

you could feel the movement of his hips slow significantly, still rocking up into you to let you ride out your high but not nearly enough for him to push himself over the edge along with you. but you're grateful for his mercy, knowing that if he'd continued at the pace he was going you probably wouldn't be able to walk the next morning. so you took it as a testament to his goodwill, falling forward onto his chest in a whimpering heap, trying to steady your breathing and calm your heart rate, remaining seated on his still hard cock.

you felt a strong arm wrap around your waist, the other resting across your shoulder so he could settle his hand on the back of your head, fingers working their way into your hair and gently carding through it. the attention was comforting, unexpected but definitely comforting as you pressed your face into the crook of his neck, still too hazy off of your post-orgasm bliss to have any shame about wanting to be close to his warmth. you didn't think about whether he was expecting you to get him off at some point, or if he was just content letting you rest on top of him like this, but you soon found that he had a much different answer—or rather, a question—that didn't at all take you into consideration.

"so, reiner, are you just going to stand there and watch all night?"

there was confusion for a brief moment, then a horrifying realization that made an ice-cold fear prick under your spine, blood draining from your face as you felt the fine hairs on the back of your neck raise, completely frozen at the knowledge that the worst of the night you had imagined had come true. zeke's hand didn't stop its slow petting across your head, arm fastening around your body, seemingly in preparation for you to start squirming or fighting to get away. but you couldn't move an inch, not even enough to turn your head and risk a glance at your friend who was apparently right at the door.

"well?" his voice rumbled low in his chest once more, dripping with arrogance, entirely absent of any shame, just tempting him to step past the unseen boundary that had kept him there for however long he'd been watching, "i know, i know, you haven't your fair share all night. it's just so, sohard to let go once you finally get your hands on her. you should know all about that feeling, right?"

"fuck you."

you felt a warm curl in your stomach at the sound of his voice, breathing short and fast as your heart skipped anxiously, but mentally almost enjoying the fact that he was feeling something for you, even if it was some sort of possessive envy. the sound of his heavy, uneven footsteps making their way towards the bed.

he clearly still sounded drunk—who wouldn't be after so many beers in one sitting—and that was probably why he didn't hesitate at all to start tugging his clothes off, the ruffle of fabric and clinking metal of a belt being unbuckled finally snapping out of your compliant state, shaky arms trying to push yourself in bed. zeke allowed you to sit up, hands dropping to your thighs as your foggy gaze wandered from his face over to reiner at the bedside, heartbeat nearly drowning out the other sounds in the room as it drummed loudly in your ears.

"you don't mind, do you?" zeke called your attention back to him, gently stroking up and down your thigh just as he had been when you'd first accepted his offer.

your mouth had gone dry, leaving you struggling to get enough saliva back for your tongue not to stick to the roof of your mouth, feeling the heat of arousal flickering back to life when his cock twitched inside of you. did you mind? well you definitely minded the humiliation, the anxiety taut within your chest that made each breath an effort, the fact that you had no idea what was going on or would happen next. but did you mind enough to force yourself off of him, to struggle to collect your clothes from the ground and stagger out of the room with shaky legs that you weren't sure were capable of doing even that right now? did you really want this?

but it seemed that the choice had already been made in both of their minds, your answer—or lack thereof— speaking for your choice in the matter as zeke's hands lifted you up off of his lap, enough for him to slip out from under you. the sudden emptiness after being so full made you whimper, falling back down onto your calves in the middle of the bed and staring down at zeke's cock, slick with your arousal and still aching to be tended to.

the sinking weight of reiner clambering onto the bed behind you made you exhale a shaky breath, still in disbelief as his hand settled on your cheek, turning your head to face over his shoulder to press his lips onto yours. his kiss was messy but familiar, his low moan making you shiver alongside the feeling of zeke's stare wandering across the display before him. your exchange didn't last long before he pulled away, gazing at you with an unreadable look in his golden eyes for a moment, hand moving to the back of your head to push you down onto your hands and knees.

you obediently complied, met with the sight of zeke's cock once more, peering up to meet his gaze, features showing a mixture of eager expectancy and relaxed pride, just knowing that you were willing to do whatever he asked of you. and he relished in the changes your expressions went through in the next few seconds, the way your eyes widened when reiner's hands grasped your soft hips, how you swallowed thickly to try and get enough saliva down your tongue to get your mouth ready, and finally your mouth falling open and face twisting when reiner eased himself entirely into you in one solid thrust, finding little resistance from how soaked you were. you whimpered out a shaky curse, fists bunching up the sheets under you as he picked up a steady rhythm from behind you, zeke's fingers tangling into your hair and guiding onto your parted lips onto his awaiting cock.

he groaned out at the wet heat of your mouth engulfing him, tongue laving up over the underside of his length as you did your best to take as much of him in as possible without gagging. you wanted to be ashamed of how much you were enjoying the feeling of being entirely overwhelming, fuller than you'd ever felt in your entire life, but you'd be lying to yourself if you said that you'd made a mistake by giving in to the lustful temptations. you could feel your eyes water as zeke hit the back of your throat, your teary gaze and muffled moans against him only seeming to enthrall him further. reiner's hands felt up your waist, one reaching down your front to pinch and roll a nipple between his fingers, driving more stifled sounds and shaky breaths through your nose out of you.

you felt yourself squeezing around his cock, earning yourself a few low, muttered curses as he began to pound even faster into you, evidently approaching his limit just as fast as you are. the hand in your hair was guiding you up and down on the cock in your mouth, the tip of your nose just brushing zeke's stomach each time you surged forward with the momentum of the thrusts from behind you. it was all far too much in the best way possible, vision going hazy at the edges from the lack of proper air you could get into your lungs, insides aching from overusing alongside the tight knotting deep in your gut that was threatening to send you over the edge.

it was zeke that came first, heat pooling over your tongue and spilling down your throat, nearly too much for you to swallow as you tried not to choke. but he kept himself in your mouth and his hand firmly grasping your hair, if not to feel the hum of your desperate whines across your skin then to admire your pathetic expression, half-lidded eyes barely able to hold themselves open enough to stare back at him as you came hard for the second time that night. you could hear reiner give a generous groan of your name, thrusting as deep as he could go just a few times more, having enough sense to not cum inside you, pulling out and making a sticky mess of your trembling thighs.

only after you'd blinked away the glossiness in your eyes did zeke pull himself out of your mouth with a wet pop, holding your head up to appreciate the way your mouth still hung open to gasp in much needed gulps of air, tears and saliva dripping down your chin, halfhearted whimpers still escaping you as you trembled.

"you have good taste, reiner." zeke said, releasing your hair and letting you rest your cheek down against the mattress under you, grabbing his glasses off the side table and putting them back onto his face.

you watched as he stepped off the bed, picking out his clothes from the messy array of garments strewn about on the floor and tugging them on. he fished a handkerchief out of the the pocket of his pants, tossing it at reiner's side and glancing over your body, offering you a lazy smile when he caught your gaze.

"clean her up," he instructed, reaching out to give one last soft touch down your back, "and don't give her anymore trouble, alright? i expect to see you bright and early tomorrow."

you assumed that reiner nodded, since zeke turned without another word and exited the bedroom, making sure to shut the door behind him. for a moment, there was uneasy silence, only occupied by your breaths and the faint sound of zeke pulling on his boots somewhere in the living room and leaving out the front door. you gave a low hiss at the feeling of the fabric smoothing down the backs of your thighs, skin far too sensitive for your liking and legs aching uncomfortably.

you lifted your head up enough to wipe your chin with the back of your hand, eyes and limbs heavy with the desire to sleep. there were no words exchanged as he helped you move to lay down on your back, his face just as tired as he'd looked at the bar, but there was something else weighing down his expression as you took his face in your hands, staring up at him with a soft look of concern.

and though he still said nothing, he kissed you, so much gentler than he'd ever kissed you, with a tenderness that made you want savor this brief moment for as long as you could. but he eventually pulled away, and the brief worry that he might leave just as his captain had minutes before, but he rested down beside you with a low sigh. he didn't protest when you curled into the warmth of his body, head finding a comfortable place on his chest, not even bothering to try and venture out onto the floor to turn off the lamp before you settled down and let your eyes fall shut.

it was easy to fall asleep after he wrapped his arms around you, firm chest rising and falling with steady breaths, heart slow in your ear. you didn't think about the fact that you'd probably wake up alone in the morning, or that walking properly would be a monumental task on its own without even considering going to work to stay on your feet for the entire day—just appreciated this night while he couldn't slip away from you like all the other times before.

[mikkachu8888]

A/N I do not own any of the main plot line or characters of Marvel. Those rights are reserved for the creators. Thank you.

Peter x adult!reader

You were nervous to say the least. You looked at the clock on your wall again. It was probably only 15 minutes until they would arrive. You sighed. Mae and Peter are coming over for dinner. It's only been a few months since Tony's funeral and you can't say you were coping well. Natasha...Tony... Steve... all gone. Steve wasn't dead, but he seemed on the verge of it due to his old age now, but either way you weren't ready to let him go either. It felt like you were robbed of so much time you could have spent with him. He always was my most understanding fake uncle/dad/brother...or whatever you wanted to consider him. It didn't matter how you felt though, it's what makes him happy and you have to respect that... even if internally you weren't ready to bury another one of your family members. These people helped raise you and it broke your heart to see how your family got so much smaller.

Clint made more of an appearance in your life after the events, however. After Nat died you both found great comfort and grieving her death together. He became your new outlet to vent, which had previously belonged to Steve. Actually, this whole dinner was Clint's idea. It was something that was meant to clear the air between Peter and I.

"Are you okay?"

I turned to the voice and saw my fiancé of 8 months standing in the kitchen door with his hands in his pockets and looking at me with a concerned, but supportive smile.

"No..." I admit. "I've faced mass genocide, the largest war to human kind, and losing most of my family all at once... and yet... I've never been more nervous than I am right now."

"What do you think is going to happen?" (f/n) says.

"I don't know... I know it's really not that big of a deal compared to what we've all gone through before, but for some reason I can't bear to see Peter so upset with me. It...Just...It hurts my heart. I can't explain it." you say putting your face into your hands.

"I understand... and to be honest I think it is... a big deal." (f/n) says walking over and placing his hands on my arms gently. "So many families have been disrupted by the blip. Parents seeing their children all grown up all of a sudden, couples having larger age gaps and who have grieved and moved on, people who have blipped and realized that their loved ones that have remained here passed away in that what seemed to be moments they've been gone...in which it was actually years."

You looked up at him. He gave a small smile. "You are not the only one struggling to adjust in these weird times and grieving the lost time. I'm sure Peter is just as confused and nervous as you are. He was your boyfriend, your lover. You guys were very close and I'm sure when he came back from the blip he still thought you were the same as ever... only to realize that it wasn't the case."

"He saw me for the first time at Tony's funeral...and he wouldn't even talk to me. He just stared at me... almost like he was afraid of me." The sentence came out like it was a soft whisper, but ended with just pain and hurt in it.

"Is that a bad thing?" (f/n) asked. "Wouldn't you be? I know I would, especially if I was just a 16 year old kid."

"No no...No... You're right. I honestly should be thinking about him too. He's probably shell shocked and I'm just worried about myself." You take a deep breath and gave a slight bitter chuckle. "I'm the adult here. I've matured and learned to cope. I shouldn't be the one who's scared here."

"I think it's okay for you both to be scared. Don't worry, though. I'll be there and Mae will be there to help. Clint says he'll be standing by if you need help." It was at that moment, the doorbell rang making you jump. "You got this. I promise."

He gave you a kiss on the cheek before leaving to answer the door. You mulled over his words for a moment before sucking in a breath and following him. As you walked through your living room you reached up and began fixing your hair as you walked. You wanted to make sure you at least looked like you weren't a complete mess, but you were on the inside. A horrible, grieving, pitiful, shawarma and ice cream eating mess.

I wore black. It was my go to color. Not because I was sad or grieving, but because it is the most convenient color and showed so much class while also hiding your shame. There was very little the color black couldn't hide. You were grateful that when you joined SHIELD and the main uniform color was black. You cut your hair shorter and mostly wore it up in a tight seamless bun for work, but tonight it is in its full glory. Your fiancé wore basic white button up and black pants. He had on a tie before, but you supposed it was bothering him so he took it off. At least he put on the black blazer as well. You never liked the tie anyway. It was just something Steve had said one time that was necessary for important events. He taught (f/n) how to tie it and everything.

You stood beside (f/n) a little ways back as you were bit afraid. He opened the door and there stood Mae, Peter, and shockingly Happy smiling back. Peter actually wasn't smiling. He wasn't even looking at neither you nor (y/n). His gaze was to the side towards the floor. It was clear that he wasn't ready to face reality either. Your eyes moved back to the group as a whole. "Happy, what are you doing here?" You- asked stretching out a smile that may have seemed a little forced.

"Well, I was just popping over to the Parker residence from visiting Pepper and Morgan, and Mae invited me to come along, so I thought I haven't seen you in a while and there was no harm in dropping by as well. I wanted to see what you've been up to and what not." Happy nodded with a big smile. He leaned close and half whispered "Mae thought that you all could use as much help as you could get with this weird situation anyway."

"O-oh... okay... well um. Thanks for coming. I'm sure it's appreciated." You internally cursed. More people to witness the horror that will be this dinner. You turned your attention to Mae. "Hi, Mae." You smiled a bit and you could tell she already had tears pricking her eyes and she held out her arms for a big hug. She gave you tight motherly squeeze and rubbed your back. "Hi, Honey. Gosh, you've gotten so big. You just look absolutely beautiful."

"Yes. Thank you. It's been so long since I've seen you... Well I suppose not to you." You attempted a joke to lighten the mood. She and Happy laughed though that joke didn't seem to land well with Peter as he didn't laugh and only seemed to be made more uncomfortable.

Your eyes did fixate on Peter now and the silence of the group became thick and very tense. He wasn't saying anything and you bit your lip. "Hey...Peter." Your voice was softer and sounded week. He looked exactly the same. Young baby face with wispy brown hair that seemed to like to hang in his face depending how it fell. He did a pretty good job at keeping it combed back, however. His brown eyes finally looked back at you and widened just slightly. You looked so much different, yet, exactly the same. For starters, the makeup. That was so much more new. You never wore makeup. You were perfectly happy with the nude appearance of your face. Although you weren't wearing much makeup it was still prevalent that you had some on, but just enough to look clean and classy. Your hair wasn't as super long as you had it when you were younger. It was always down and long and it was a daily struggle for you to keep it maintained and out of paint or your food at lunch. You were always getting it caught in your mouth or finding random strands of it on your clothing or in your stuff. He remembered how sometimes when he kissed you your hair would get caught between their lips. It was embarrassing then, but now he missed it. Now it was cut much shorter and seemed more tamed. He wasn't sure if he liked that or not. It didn't matter, however, for some reason in Peter's mind it made you look all the much more mature and older. Everything about you seemed older and mature. Your body was different. Slightly wider hips and a bit larger breasts. He probably wouldn't have noticed either difference if it wasn't for the dress you were wearing... or for the matter that you were wearing a dress at all. Dresses and skirts weren't your forte last time he saw you. You said they restricted you from doing the things you wanted to do. No, leggings and jeans covered in paint, pen marks, sharpies was what you wore on a daily basis along with an oversized hoody of some sort. Peter looked down at the ground. He noticed you weren't wearing any shoes. He cracked a slight side smile. At least that was one thing that didn't changed about you. You always hated wearing shoes. It didn't matter where you were or the temperature outside. Shoes were never the priority for you. You always carried a pair and wore them when you had to, but if they bothered you too much or you just found them unnecessary you'd kick them off and immediately toss them in your backpack. So many times you'd walk down the school halls bare foot with some type of drawing that you drew on them from being bored in class. Peter always thought that little quirk was cute. He could actually see a little tattoo on the side of your foot, but couldn't make it out in that moment. In fact when he looked closer, he saw that both your feet looked slightly different from each other. He wasn't quite sure, but it seemed the foot with the tattoo seemed somewhat off. He just wasn't sure what was different.

His voice finally decided to make an appearance. "Hey... again..." It didn't come out as strong as he wanted it to, but it came out enough for her to hear.

"How are you?" You asked him.

"Uh..." He didn't have anything to say. He just gave an awkward nod and a generic 'ok'. He wasn't ready to talk. You backed off and looked at the group as a whole once more.

"Oh um... everyone. This is my fiancé, (f/n)" you said stepping back and introducing your now future husband. Peter's face immediately dropped. His eyes widened and he looked back and forth between you and your fiancé in an almost panicked state. He couldn't believe it. You had found someone else. You had left him.

"Hi, everyone." (f/n) smiled and waved and shook everyone's hand, except Peter who didn't even attempt to raise his hand. His face now stared wide eyed at your fiancé who waited patiently for his hand in return. Mae nudged Peter's arm and he blinked a couple of times in realization and took (f/n)'s hand to shake. "Oh yeah um sorry... it's nice to meet you." He says politely trying to cover up how frazzled he was for a moment.

"Well, everyone. Why don't you come inside?" You say and step to the side allowing everyone to filter into your home.

"Wow... fancy." Happy says looking around at stuff.

"Happy, you knew I lived here." You say unamused.

"I've never seen the inside, though." He commented back.

"So how long have you lived here?" Mae asks looking at the light fixtures.

"3 years or so now." You say watching them. "I know it's much different than that dingy apartment I was at before."

"Yeah um.... How did you get a place like this?" Peter asks quietly.

"Uh well... with my new job and the housing being cheaper from the blip and-"

"Tony bought it." Happy commented bluntly cutting you off.

You sighed. "Yes. Tony bought and designed it for me. My job at SHIELD lets me be able to pay for it."

"You work at SHIELD?" peter asks glancing back at you.

"Yes. Head of the entire global security and protection program. Also, I'm a public advocate for the international super powered and mutated community." You say with a bit of pride.

"Wow that sounds like a very high position." Mae says.

"It can be, I suppose." You shrug your shoulders.

"You've certainly come a long way since you were young." Mae says a little sad.

"I think everyone who was left here during the blip has. It just depends on if they came a long way for the better or worse. That depends on the person." You state glancing at Happy. "Right, Happy?"

"Yeah. There's been a lot of people who dropped over the edge since that, but also a lot of people who've thrived since then. We've seen it all." Happy says skeptically looking at one of the vases you had on your counter. You walked over and took the vase from Happy's hands. "Why don't we all sit down before you break something." You says putting the vase back down where it was.

"Where did you get that? It's hideous." Happy says moving towards the sofa.

"It came with the house." You stated.

"Why'd you keep it?" Happy says scrunching up his nose.

"Don't worry about it." You say ushering him to the couch.

"I happen to like it. I think it's... unique." Mae says admiring it from afar as she sat next to Happy and Peter on one of the sofas. You and (f/n) sat across from them on the other. He gave them each glasses of water in case they got thirsty. You hadn't seen him even go into the kitchen to get them.

"Oh yeah... I mean... if you look at it that way then I guess it's pretty nice." Happy says backtracking and taking a pert sip of the water he was just given. Your eyes furrow as you look between Happy and Mae. You glance at Peter who also seems confused at the interaction.

"Okay...so Happy. What were you doing at the Parker residence?" you ask Happy with a smirk.

"Oh you know. Just checking in. See how Peter is doing." Happy says not so casually.

"I see." You say as your eyes look back at Peter. "So, Peter."

"Huh?" he asks a little startled by my turn of attention to him. The water in his cup sloshing at the sudden movement. "How are you doing?"

"Oh um... okay, I guess." He responds nodding. That was it. The entire highlight of the conversation between us for the rest of the time. The rest of the time he and you both remained quiet and only spoke when spoken too. You were hurt. He was hurt. You could tell. Not only because you know him, but because teenagers tend to have less of a poker face when they're upset. No matter how hard they try to hide it, it usually slips through that they are emotional in that moment. You have learned to control that side of you a lot better. You are no longer that emotional and even if you were, you've learned to hide it a lot better. Your face remains impassive, but you sit there thinking that perhaps he doesn't need impassive. He needs something to know that you are feeling much of the same feelings he is feeling. You just don't know what to say.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you two meet?" Mae asks setting her glass on the coffee table in front of us. Peter's attention becomes more alert at the question. It was obvious he was wondering the same thing. Just when did this happen?

"Oh no. I don't mind. I suppose that is one of the big elephant questions in the room." You say a little nervously.

"We met in physical therapy. We had the same Therapist and she brought all her patients together for group stretching once a week. It was something that was set up through a volunteer group for people with superpowers and mutations. I can't exactly remember the name, but it was group that helped with the devastation after the snap. They helped clean up and got people out of crisis and arranged for a lot of the people with powers who were injured to receive medical attention and physical therapy from medical professionals that had mutations of some sort as to not expose us or risk exploitation. Do you remember the volunteer organization's name?" (f/n) asked looking at me.

"It wasn't an organization. It was a school, I believe. Dr. Xavier ran the school. He's quite the man. I talk to him every now and again, but I haven't heard from him quite a while. He's part of the reason I got my foot in the door for advocating for those with superpowers or mutants as they call them." You state.

"Interesting. What were you going to physical therapy for?" Mae asked. "Or what I mean is, what happened?"

"Well I was on a train in New York with my sister and mother when people starting dusting away. I suppose the conductor was one of those people because our train never stopped and crashed full force into one of the buildings and derailed us from the tracks over a bridge, it sent us crashing into the streets. My mother died on impact, but I was able to protect my sister with my body. I can turn my body into different materials, so I was able to keep most of the things away from her and she just had a couple of broken bones, but I didn't move fast enough because I got a metal rod straight through the chest. It broke right near my sternum. I had no clue why or how I was still alive. I thought I was going to die in there for sure until some of the students from that school showed up." (f/n) unbuttoned his shirt half way to show the large star like shaped scar right in the center of his chest.

"That's awesome..." Happy muttered looking in awe at his scar before getting nudged in the shoulder by Mae. "I mean terrible. Truly terrible. I'm sorry for your loss."

"Yes, that's awful. I'm sorry that happened to you." Mae says sympathetically.

(f/n) chuckled and buttoned his shirt back up. "No, don't worry about it. These types of things make us stronger right? And I do agree with Happy. I think my scar is pretty awesome." He patted his chest proudly. You smiled in amusement and gave slight chuckle.

"...and you?" Peter's soft voice piped up after a moment. Everyone looked at him. He was looking at you. You weren't really sure what he was trying to ask you. He glanced at everyone before licking his lips and trying again to clarify. "Uh um. What I mean is what happened to you... as well? Why were you in, you know, physical therapy?"

"Oh. I was actually in Africa fighting in battle." You sated simply.

"You were a part of the Battle of Wakanda?" Peter asks sitting up straighter now.

You smiled a bit and let out a breathy laugh. "Yeah. It was like pulling teeth to convince Steve to let me, but yeah. I was. It was a savage alien that bit and clawed into my leg and that started the problems, but it was a female servant of Thanos that actually took my leg. Cut it clean off with swords she had."

"Oh my god. That's horrible." Mae exclaimed and Peter's eyes traveled to your foot once more. That's why your foot looked so off. It was a prosthetic. Peter thought it looked too real to be a prosthetic, but too fake to be real. You were able to walk so seamlessly though. Like you never lost your leg at all.

"Not as horrible as for her. When Natasha found out she was absolutely pissed. She and one of the Wakanda guards kicked her ass." You laughed outwardly. Peter saw the old you come out all of a sudden and all at once. He smiled brightly. "And then what happened?" he asked.

"They sent her ass through her own giant alien sawblade that they tried to kill us with!" You were full blown laughing now. The memory had you almost in tears because of how convenient and karmic the whole thing was. If you remembered correctly you remember yourself laughing in that moment as well. Despite nearly being dead in a ditch and bleeding out uncontrollably, you were still verbally shouting out cheers of praise to Nat as she fought and when she came to quickly bandage you up to stop the bleeding. You remembered Nat replying to you "Shut up, kid or I'll leave you here instead. All that shouting is going to make you pass out anyway." Funny enough she wasn't too far off the target because it wasn't long after she told you that did you fall unconscious from blood loss and woke up with a sweet new robotic vibranium prosthetic leg in Wakanda's medical ward.

"So, if she cut your leg off what happened next." Peter asked now interested in the story.

"Nat bandaged me up, I passed out, and I woke up with a sweet new robotic leg in Wakanda's medical ward. After I was healed enough I was transferred to Xavier's school where I sharpened my powers and did physical therapy along with the others. Once I was healed, Tony came back from outer space. Once he was recovered he told us everything and eventually upgraded my leg. Now it looks almost like I never lost a leg. Well, sort of. It still looks a bit off and it glitches every now and again, but I'm not complaining. I can still walk so." You shrugged now crossing your leg over the other and folding your arms over your chest.

"Wow. That's really cool." Peter said breathlessly. He seemed to admire you so much more. You knew you were now Tony Stark, but it was nice to have those admiring eyes directed towards you for once. The type of eyes that didn't hold romantic feelings, but still held the belief that everything you did was cool and amazing.

"Thank you, Peter." You smiled.

"So when are you two getting married?" Happy asks randomly and taking a gulp of water.

*smash*

The glass in Peter's hand immediately smashes in his palm. Everyone makes a noise in surprise at the sudden sound and turn to Peter. "Oh! Uh... I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I'll... I'll clean it up." Peter says getting down on the floor to clean it up.

"Peter, your hand." You gasp setting your cup down. His hand started bleeding from all the glass shards that decided to embed themselves into his skin.

"Oh um..." Peter's face flushed a bright red. He couldn't help but feel intense embarrassment about the situation.

"Don't worry about the glass. I got it. You go with (y/n) and get your hand all patched up, okay?" (f/n) says already standing to go and get the broom.

"Yeah, come on, Peter. I have a first aid kit in the kitchen." You say standing up and helping him to his feet. You held his arm as he kept his hand underneath his injured one, hoping to catch the blood so it wouldn't get onto your carpet. You walked him to the kitchen. "Just put your hand over the sink and I'll be there in a moment."

"Okay." Peter says doing what you asked as you began to rummage around the medicine cabinet. Peter began to run his hand under a bit of water as you came back with the first aid kit. You first got some tweezers and a dish towel and dragged 2 chairs over so we could sit. You first sat down and put the dish towel across your lap. Peter then sat down and you gently grabbed his hand and set it in your lap while looking closely at it. "Nothing bad it looks like. Obviously nothing the Amazing Spiderman can't handle." You joke looking at him with a smile and he smiles back with an awkward laugh.

A silence falls over you both as you begin to focus on plucking the tiny shards from his hand. You didn't notice how the air got thicker and you certainly didn't notice how things got increasingly more difficult for Peter to stomach. He stared at you the entire time and the longer he did the more his heart broke. You didn't notice how his straight face slowly broke until you saw a few tear drops fall onto the surface of the hand you were working on and you heard a choked back sob. You looked up and saw his face as he turned away. You set the towel with glass pieces aside and held his hand. You knew he wasn't crying because of his hand or if there was a possibility you hurt him. He was much tougher than that. You also knew you couldn't physically hurt him even if you wanted to. His powers made it easier for him to handle a lot more than a regular human. No, his pain was internal. His kind soft heart was bursting with pain. "Peter..." you said softly with a frown.

"I... I miss you." He said finally with his head down and his chest heaved. "I miss you so much."

This is where your heart broke and you couldn't even keep your composure anymore. You hugged Peter and you hugged him tight. You hugged him like how you wanted to hug him the day you found out that he was one of the victims of the Snap. You hugged him like he would dust away again. You hugged him like he would leave you again, but this time not come back. And you cried. Oh, you cried like you should have when you first saw him again. You cried as you were finally getting the closure you wanted. It was five years, but you had him in your arms again and you couldn't be more grateful. "I miss you, too."

"First I lost Mr. Stark and now you..." he began crying harder now. He drops to his knees on the floor and his face goes to your lap.

"That's not true. I'm right here." I told him holding him tighter.

"But you're not mine anymore. You're his... and it only seems like just a few months ago you were at my house and we were playing video games and listening to music." Peter said getting his voice more.

"But it wasn't a few months ago. It's been years, Peter." You tell him stroking his hair.

"I know... but... it's just not fair!" he says gripping the fabric of your dress around your thighs tight in his balled fists.

"I know, I know it's not fair." You tell him as more tears fell from your eyes.

"If... if he wasn't there... If you weren't getting married, would you wait for me?" he asked quietly. You pressed your lips together. This was a very heavy question. It wouldn't change the outcome of how things were now no matter how you answered, but it could change the way Peter thought about things and how your relationship would be from here on out. You had to answer carefully. Either he could be angry with you and refuse to have contact with you, or he could have a false sense of hope and closure all depending on how you answered his question. You just hated to see him so upset and you wanted to give in, but you also could not lie to him either. If you ever loved him then you would not lie to him, even now.

"No, Peter." I told him gently petting his hair. His body tensed at the words. "Look at me."

He didn't move, so you shifted your body away slightly and lifted his chin up, so he would look at you. "Peter, I want you to listen to me. I want you to really hear what I am trying to tell you."

He looks at you with his tear stained face, but he does what you ask. "What happened to us is cruel and unfair, but it did happen. This whole situation is hard to swallow and seeing you like this kills me. Seeing your face for the first time when you came back and realizing you didn't grow up with me was one of the hardest things I had to come to terms with because I immediately realized that we couldn't work. I think it was even harder for me when I realized that when you came back, you had no idea what had happened and you thought we were still together like always. I found it difficult when I saw the reality hit you when you looked at me for the first time at Tony's funeral. I still care deeply for you, but you are still a child, Peter. You blipped. I didn't. I mourned and moved on. I know that when you become in your twenties it won't really be a big deal anymore with the age gap, but that's nearly 10 years of my life waiting for you. That's 10 years of my life halted and stagnant. That's also nearly 5 years of your life wasted waiting on me when you also need to move on. I'm sorry, but it won't be healthy if you wait for me."

He doesn't say anything for a long while. He just sets his head back down in your lap as he thinks over what you just told him. I don't mind, however. You said what you had to. You couldn't lie to him. It wasn't the adult or right thing to do. You had to just rip the band aid off. It seemed we sat there for a while. I knew the others were giving us our privacy. We all knew this dinner was really just to break the news to Peter that our relationship wouldn't work and hoping we could still be okay afterwards.

"Do you love him?" he asked quietly, his voice breaking a bit.

"Yes." You answered back.

"Did you love me?"

"Yes."

"Do you still love me?"

"Yes."

"But... not the same way..." he sighed.

"...No... not in the same way." You tell him gently.

"I... I suppose that's okay." He muttered, even if he didn't like his own answer.

"Thank you, Peter." You say with a smile looking down at him.

"For what?" he asks looking up at you.

"For understanding, for not being angry, for being a good person, for doing the right thing for yourself and I, ... and for just giving me some of the best moments of my life being with you." You tell him happily.

"O-oh. No problem." He says now getting back up off the floor and going to his feet.

You follow suit. His face was still tear stained, but he didn't have complete dread in his eyes anymore.

"It's going to take a while for me to get over you." He says looking at the ground.

"I know it will because it took me awhile. (f/n) was very patient with me." You tell him before thought came into her head. "Peter, I know this is too soon, but may I point you in a direction of people to consider giving a chance?"

"Um... okay?" He didn't seem too comfortable, but he was open to hear what she suggested.

"You know Michelle Jones that was in our class, right? I believe she just went by MJ."

"MJ?" Peter thought taking it into consideration.

[missyslittlepet]

Loki x Reader fic

**This fic contains endgame spoilers!**

(S/n) = sons name. (F/n) = First name.

Something like this might have already been done but it's just an idea that has been floating around my head since I saw the film.

((Summary - When Loki was killed you didn't know you were expecting. You are part of the group that goes to find Thanos.))

Your fingers slowly stroked your stomach. There was no bump yet but soon enough there would be. You looked out the window and held back your tears; there was no time for those now. You had a job to do.

You had found out shortly after the snap. Half of your allies had been turned to dust, Tony was who knows where and Thor was a mess. You had never seen him so full of anger. The news should have been joyous but after all that had been lost it only brought back memories you would rather forget.

You kept it to yourself for a few weeks. Carrying the pain that it brought you alone. Loki had died never knowing he was to be a father and that broke your heart. The knowledge of the baby brought horrible nightmares and you found yourself unable to shake the images of Loki thrashing around for air. His lifeless, blood shot eyes stared at you from the floor of the ship. You would wake up in cold sweats and find yourself unable to breathe. Just a small fraction of what he must have felt.

Thor found you one night crying on the bedroom floor. He had sat and cried with you when you finally told him you were pregnant. He held you close as the two of you mourned for the Asgardian trickster well into the early hours of the morning. Before he left Thor vowed to keep you and his nephew safe but you could see in his eyes that he didn't believe he could.

You and Thor were the first ones to volunteer when they found Thanos.

"Is this a good idea?" He had muttered quietly to you while the others readied themselves for the trip.

"I need to see him, Thor. If there is anyway we can get Loki back I have to be there." You sighed.

"What about the... you know... it isn't saf-" He kept his voice hushed knowing you didn't want others to know yet.

"I have to be there." You cut him off and walked towards the ship calmly.

Thor watched you leave. He had always known you were tough from the day he had met you. When he found out about you and Loki he couldn't stop grinning. He had teased his brother for weeks, loving how embarrassed and flustered he got when you were brought up. On a serious note, he knew you were good for his brother. You could talk him down, make him smile. Most importantly you loved him more than anyone else had. Thor could see it in the way you look at him. Complete adoration.

The trip to the Planet Thanos had retired to was quick. The jumps knocked you a little bit ill but you managed to keep yourself from throwing up.

Carol went ahead to scout the place out. You waited quietly for her to return. It seemed like hours before she approached the ship again.

"There's no security. No guards. He's alone." She said from outside the ship.

Everyone looked at each other with furrowed brows. This wasn't what you had expected.

"Then what are we waiting for?" You muttered.

The plan was fool proof. Attack him when he wasn't expecting it, remove the gauntlet and kill him if necessary. You were set to be one of the last people to join the struggle. You watched on as the others busted through his hut and waited for your signal. Soon enough you were called through along with Thor.

"Where are the stones?" Nat asked.

"Gone." Replied Thanos. "Reduced to atoms."

"You used them two days ago!" Bruce's voice came from inside the Hulk Buster suit.

"I used the stones to destroy the stones and it nearly killed me. But, the work is done..." He locked eyes with you.

Thonos wasn't how you remembered him. He was burned badly, his hand was cut from his body but the emotions hit you all the same. The tears pricked your eyes.

"It always will be." And just like that all hope of getting Loki back was lost.

You knew he was talking to you in that moment. He remembered you from the ship. He remember how you had tried so hard to save Loki and the way you had screamed and sobbed over his dead body.

"Why?" You whispered as one tear slipped down your cheek. Everyone turned to look at you.

Thanos remained silent.

"You took everything from me." You said, dropping to your knees in front of him. "My people, my family... my husband..." Your voice broke.

He still refused to say anything.

"He didn't even know." You were crying now. "He was going to be a father. You killed him before he even found out. You destroyed my life. You've made it so my child will never know it's father. Why?"

Everyone stared at you, mouths wide in shock and sadness at what they had just discovered.

Thanos held your gaze.

"SAY SOMETHING!" You slapped him angrily across the face.

Thanos' eyes briefly looked at the floor before meeting yours once again.

"We've all lost people. You are no different."

You pressed your lips in a thin line and sniffed. You dried your tears and took a deep breath. Loki was gone. You stood once again and nodded at Thor. In an instant Thor's axe sliced clean through his neck and Thanos' head bounced across the floor.

Without another word you and Thor walked away from the hut.

*5 years later*

You watched as your son played with his toys on the floor. His messy black hair fell in front of his face and a cheeky smile tugged at his lips. He looked just like him. You always found yourself tearing up when you realised how alike they were. Everyone told you it would get easier, told you that the nightmares would stop. They were wrong. It never got easier.

A knocking at your door pulled you from your thoughts. Slowly you stood and walked towards your door. You opened it a crack and were met by Thor, Bruce and Rocket.

"(F/n), long time no see." Rocket said pushing past you. Thor followed behind the raccoon quietly. You could tell he had been drinking again.

"(F/n)." Bruce smiled warmly and pulled you into a hug. "How's (S/n)?"

"He's good. Come see him." You smiled.

You had heard Bruce had taken his hulk form. You were happy he had finally come to terms with the hulk part of himself.

Bruce and you walked towards the living room to join everyone. Thor and (S/n) were play wrestling while Rocket laughed. You chuckled a little at the sight and sat down next to Bruce.

"You've started getting powers, haven't you?" You smiled at your son. Thor looked over at you and grinned.

Thor was such a good uncle to him. He taught him how to play video games, told him funny story about the mischief his father used to create. (S/n) had always loved the one where his dad had pretended to be a snake. Without Thor's help you wouldn't have been able to cope.

"You will make a powerful God." Thor roared with a smile as he picked (s/n) up. "Your father would have been so proud." His face dropped slightly and so did yours.

"Anyway," You said to fill the silence. "What brings you all here? I doubt this is just a casual visit."

"We have an idea. To get the stones back and we would like your help." Bruce explained.

You were stunned. "They were destroyed. How?"

"Ever seen Back to the Future?" Rocket asked.

"No?" You said.

"Me neither, but I'm told it's about time travel and that's how we're going to do it."

"...time travel..." You sat back in your chair mulling over the information.

"It's going to be dangerous," Bruce nodded. "but we need all the people we can get."

Your son ran up to you in that moment and climbed up onto your lap. You hugged him close and kissed his raven hair.

"Dangerous how?" You asked.

"If things go wrong there's a chance you could get stuck in the past." Answered Rocket.

Your son looked up at you and smiled, his eyes lighting up just like his dads used to.

"...I... can't." You finally sighed. "I need to think about (S/n). Without me and Thor he has no family. I love Loki with all of my heart and if there is any other way I can help I will, but I can't risk getting stuck. I'm so sorry." You had tears in your eyes again. Your son hugged you tightly. He hated seeing his mother cry.

Bruce placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "It was stupid of us to ask, we're sorry. Of course we'll find you something to help us with. (F/n) if there is any way we can bring your husband back we will."

"Thank you. Thank you so much." You cried.

You left (S/n) with Valkyrie while you travelled with Thor, Bruce and Rocket to the lab; promising him you would be back soon. You prayed that you could help them get the stones. So many people had lost so much and if there was anyway or fixing it you were damn sure you were going to try. The small flicker of hope was refreshing but you knew you had to prepare for the worst. You took a deep breath and watched as New Asgard faided into the distance.