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ayyy-pee · 1 year

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Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Female Reader

Summary: Every choice Satoru makes just seems to be digging himself into a deeper hole. But when it comes to you, he can’t seem to help himself.

Story Warning: Smut, Vaginal Sex, Toxic Behavior, Cheating, Protected Sex (wrap it up kids), Jealousy, Obsessive Behavior, Exes to Lovers (for a lil bit), Gojo is sprung on reader real bad, Dumb Stupid Idiot Satoru, Downbad Satoru

Gojo art by: Ilameys (used with permission)

Available to read on Ao3!

AN: Gojo has been eating my brain so I had to get something out. I've been obsessively listening to LIMBO by keshi and had it on repeat writing this (listen to it if you haven't!) Anyway, enjoy!

“Satoruuuuu,” an aggravating, whiny voice slurs. “Can you get me another drink pleaseeeee?”

“Hm? Oh, sure.”

Satoru rises from his seat on the couch, running his fingers through his silky white hair. He leaves his girlfriend to chat with her friends as he makes his way to the kitchen for yet another drink. Really, he should cut her off and take her home. She’s insufferable when she gets a drop of liquor in her, not that she’s any less annoying when she’s sober. All the whining, all the clinginess, all the slurring of his name as she wraps herself all around him. It used to be cute when they first started dating a year ago. Now it’s just suffocating. But Satoru sucks it up, though he’s not entirely sure why. Maybe because when she drinks, he doesn’t have to deal with actually trying to have a conversation with her. She’s a bit more tolerable after a few drinks. Annoying still, but less so.

He maneuvers through the crowd of the house party he’s currently attending. It’s packed, the scent of alcohol heavy in the air. Leave it to Suguru to go all out when he’s back in town. The guy invited practically everyone from their time in high school. Since arriving, Satoru’s already run into Mei Mei, Ino, Utahime (unfortunately) and surprisingly Nanami. There’s even students from the Ainu Technical School here. He had no idea Suguru even knew them.

Regardless, Satoru is happy to see everyone. He stops every so often to chat with old classmates as he wanders towards the kitchen. Everyone seems to be doing well for themselves since graduating high school, which Satoru is glad for. No matter how life went, he always wished everyone well.

And life was good for Satoru, too. At 26 years old, he certainly couldn’t complain about much. He’d graduated from high school, gone to college, had a hell of a great time during his undergrad career, got himself a well paying cushy sales job. And he had a girlfriend that he…had been with for awhile. Life couldn’t be better for him.

So why did it always feel like something was missing?

Satoru enters the enormous kitchen and makes a beeline to the assortment of drinks lined along the built-in bar. Of course Suguru has a built-in bar in his kitchen with an array of pre-made cocktails to choose from. Always such a great host when he’s not traveling to clean up celebrity messes for his PR firm.

“Satoru!” A man’s voice sings behind him as an arm slings across his shoulders.

“Haibara,” Satoru greets him. “Back for another drink?”

Satoru grabs one of the plastic party cups from the counter and pours one of the cocktails into it; something fruity and syrupy. He might’ve given it a try if the overwhelming smell of tequila didn’t burn his nostrils. He thinks of his girlfriend, knowing she will definitely feel like shit by the end of the night.

“Hm?” Haibara shakes his head, his raven hair whipping with the movement. “No way. One is enough for me. I have early practice tomorrow. Coach says my swing needs work, so not willing to fuck that up.” Ah right. Satoru had totally forgotten that Haibara played tennis professionally now. He nods, listening to his friend fill him in on what his plans for tomorrow are. Haibara’s wide brown eyes follow Satoru’s movements as he fills his cup. “You, though? I never see you drink at these things?”

Satoru shakes his head. “Not for me. For my girlfriend.”

Haibara’s signature, open-mouthed grin spreads wide across his face. “Oh! You’re still dating her? Wow. Good for you, man.”

Something about the surprise in Haibara’s tone takes Satoru aback, brows knitting at this. “Why’d you say it like that?”

Haibara crosses his arms, his smile melting away with a sigh. “I mean…” Haibara sighs your name quietly. “The two of you were together for a long time before you broke up after high school. We all thought you’d still be together, but if you could end that relationship, I’m just a little surprised you’re still with this one. That’s all. But if you’re happy...”

Just hearing your name on Haibara’s tongue has Satoru’s stomach twisting in knots. He hasn’t seen or spoken to you in years, something he’s been wanting to change for a long time but too cowardly to do so.

Satoru nods, giving Haibara a weak smile. He can admit that his girlfriend was…not the least bit interesting, annoying and did little for him. But he enjoyed her company sometimes.

“Just don’t be surprised if one of us leaves with Y/N tonight, though,” Haibara jokes, throwing his head back with an obnoxious chuckle.

What?

Satoru feels his heart leap into his throat as his crystalline eyes dart rapidly over every occupant in the kitchen, only seeing the familiar faces of his old classmates and a few strangers. There’s no sign of you. Maybe Haibara was just fucking with him.

Satoru laughs to save face, albeit awkwardly. “Funny,” he mutters, staring down into the drink meant for his current girlfriend, though now his thoughts are only occupied with you.

“Hey man, I need to get back to my girl, so I’ll catch you later,” Satoru tells his old friend.

“Yeah, later! Hey!” Haibara calls out to him and Satoru turns briefly. “Let’s get together to play some time!”

“Yeah, sure. Text me!” Satoru calls back, waving as he exits the kitchen. Unlikely, but he appreciates the effort.

Satoru shoulders through the crowd again, carefully holding onto the red cup in hand so it doesn't spill. He takes his time getting back, a new goal in mind: find you. Are you actually here? Or was Haibara just trying to mess with him? His heart pounds hard in his chest as he moves, eyes scanning every face he sees.

It’s been seven long years since Satoru last spoke to you - his first real crush, his first real girlfriend, his first time. His first everything. He wonders if you’ve thought about him at all in this time. He’d be surprised if you did. Things didn’t exactly end well between you two.

......

Seven Years Ago

You and Satoru dated all through high school. Satoru, a star athlete, played many sports and you supported him through them all, cheering for him at every game and helping him with his practice. You two were inseparable. If you weren’t at Satoru’s place, he was at yours. The love was deep between you two and a promise was made that you’d always be together.

But life didn’t always happen the way you wanted. The joy and excitement of being accepted into your dream schools did not last long when you realized you’d be going to school thousands of miles away and oceans apart. It was the first time a true test of your relationship was presented. Satoru was staying in Japan for college while you were headed overseas. Could your relationship survive the distance?

The first few months apart weren’t so bad. Satoru was making friends, excelling at school and becoming quite popular. You were also busy with your new life and hobbies. You made time for each other when you could. But it wasn’t enough. The loneliness Satoru felt without you was all consuming and it was only a matter of time before he found himself sending fewer texts, calling less, absorbed in the newness of college life.

Satoru loved you so much, but he wasn’t an idiot. He knew the likelihood of a long distance relationship surviving was slim regardless of who it was. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but the trying part was becoming more burdensome than he wanted.

And it wasn’t as though you had done anything wrong. This feeling Satoru was experiencing was all on him. You made the effort to keep in touch, to call when you could. And you still wanted it to work. But if Satoru were honest, he just wanted to enjoy his time in school without the constant worry of pleasing someone who he never saw unless it was behind a screen. It was selfish of him, but he wanted to have fun. This was a new world and he wanted to be free to explore it.

So he ended things.

He’ll never forget the quiet sobs on the other end of the phone as he sat in silence after uttering the words, “I don’t think this is going to work out anymore”.

His heart ached listening to your hushed pleas for him to not do this, to not end things this way. But it was for the best. In the long run, you’d be happier. He’d be happier and what was that corny saying again?

If you love something, set it free? Satoru thinks that’s what he did that day.

And you were so upset. Rightfully so. You loved Satoru. You were each other’s first kiss, first times before you left for college, first loves. You’d quite literally given everything to each other. But Satoru couldn’t commit to you anymore. He didn’t want to. He wanted to enjoy college, live his life. It may be selfish of him, but he didn’t see it that way. It was his chance to grow.

Even after all of your pleading, he stuck to his guns. It was torture, listening to you tearfully beg him not to do this to you. He had to end this.

So he told you he’d met someone else, that he couldn’t be with you anymore because there was another woman he wanted to be with. The stretch of silence was painful, Satoru quietly waiting to see if you had anything to add. The call ended with you hanging up in his face with only a choked sob as the last thing he’d heard.

Adjusting to life without you proved difficult at first. Satoru isn’t embarrassed to admit he moped around campus for a while before he was able to start trying to move on. After that, the next few months of college were great. Satoru was Mr. Popular, quickly rising to the top of his collegiate sports team. He was the life of any party he went to, the center of attention wherever he went.

Life should’ve felt perfect.

But as the months passed, Satoru found his mind occupied with the thought of you at the worst times.

While his professor discusses marketing strategies, Satoru’s mind wanders to you.

What are you doing right now?

When he’s at practice getting berated by the coach for poor blocking form, he knows he can’t tell him it’s because he’s distracted by the thought of you.

Who are you with?

When he’s giving another girl his number at a party, planning to hook up later, he pushes back the memory of the first time he’d spoken to you.

Where are you?

When he finds himself between another girl's legs that same night, he squeezes his eyes shut, picturing you and biting his tongue as he tries his best not to moan your name.

Do you still think about him?

The months soon stretch into a year and Satoru hopes this intense yearning he has for you will just fade away. He’s not so lucky. If anything, he thinks about you more. He checks your social media profiles to find you’ve removed him as a friend on everything. Of course you did. He ripped your heart in two. There was no way you’d allow him access back into your life. Your accounts are all private, so he can’t see anything and he’s not willing to ask a mutual friend about what you’ve been up to. It only makes him a little bit crazy that you’ve put up this wall between you two so he has no access to you.

Another six months pass and Satoru works up the nerve to text you for the first time since you’d broken up. He hopes you’ll reply. It’s been more than a year. You can’t possibly still be upset, can you? He can admit that he could have handled the way he ended things better, sure. But if he can get past it, you can too, right?

You never respond.

More months pass by and soon another year. One late night, Satoru slips into his apartment after a failed hookup. He pulls his phone out, scrolling through his contacts to find your name. You didn’t reply to his last text. He doubts you’ll respond to this one, but he takes a deep breath and shoots off a message to you before he changes his mind.

Days later, you finally respond. You chat for a while, sending messages back and forth. Generic things, really. Just catching up. Until one night Satoru musters up the courage to call you.

“Hello?” You answer. There’s soft music in the background and Satoru wonders what you’re up to. Are you home? Maybe you’re relaxing and the music is on for background noise. Or maybe you’re with someone, listening to music to set the mood. There’s an unpleasant twist that forms in his stomach at the thought.

“Hey,” he says easily, though he can barely hear your voice over the rapid pounding of his heart. “I figured a phone call may be easier than just texting. What are you doing?”

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense.” He hears you shuffling around, then the quiet click of a door closing as the music fades out. “I’m actually at a friends for dinner.”

A friend. He wants to ask more about your friend, but he knows he has no right to that information anymore.

“Sorry to interrupt your night,” he tells you, hoping his voice doesn’t betray how tense he is. His heart feels like it’s about to beat out of his chest.

“It’s fine. I have a couple minutes to spare.” You sound relaxed. Like speaking to Satoru doesn’t have the same effect on you as it does on him. Like talking to him is just like talking to anybody else. He knows it’s his own fault it’s this way, but it still stings. “Did you need something?”

You.

That’s what Satoru wants to say. More than anything, he wants to tell you that he wants you back, that he needs you back. He wants to tell you he made a mistake breaking up with you, that he’s so sorry. He wants to ask that you’ll please forgive him.

Satoru wants to say he regrets his decision to call it quits. Wants to admit that he should have made more of an effort to make it work out and not have been so fucking weak. He wants to tell you that if you’re willing to give it another try he is, too.

That’s what he wants.

Because after everything, he still l–

“Satoru?” You repeat your question and Satoru realizes he’s let the silence hang in the air between you both for far too long.

“Oh, I jus–”

“Babe? Dinner’s ready. Do you want any wine with yours?” A deep voice cuts through the quiet and Satoru feels his heart drop hearing someone else call you by the name that was once meant for only his use. He hears soft shuffling and hushed whispers and a “sorry, I thought you were off the phone, babe. You were quiet–”

He can tell you’ve muted your phone. He can’t hear anything anymore. The looming silence makes Satoru want to hang up on you so he can swallow the bitterness he feels. So you had moved on, found someone else who gets to treat you the way Satoru should have. It’s fair. It’s been years since you two had broken up. You’d barely started speaking again. Of course you would find someone new. You were perfect and anyone would be an idiot to let you go. Much like Satoru was.

His thumb lingers over the end call button on his screen…and then you’re back just before he presses it.

“Sorry about that,” you breathe. “Anyway, did you need something, Satoru?”

“That your friend?” Satoru asks, ignoring your question completely. He can’t even pretend it’s not because he wants to know who the hell was calling you ‘babe’.

You clear your throat. “No, ah…that’s my boyfriend,” you finally tell him.

The silence falls over you again for a few seconds, Satoru trying to find his words. Again, it’s fair for you to date someone else. Satoru had ended things. He lost his right to be jealous when he did. And yet, against his better judgment, he leans into the bitterness he felt moments ago, forcing out a laugh. “Good! Oh, that’s good for you. Glad you found someone.”

“...Thanks?”

Satoru hums. “Yeah. I mean, glad we both moved on. I was actually worried when I was calling that you’d still be hung up on me or something.” He winces, but laughs awkwardly again. Knows he just shot himself in the foot. Maybe you’ll just laugh it off, take it as a bad joke.

“Yeah.” Your voice is clipped, short. “Okay, well, it was great catching up with you, Satoru. I have to go now.”

Fuck fuck fuck.

“Got it. Well, have fun at your din–”

The line goes dead.

Satoru tosses his phone to the side, throws himself back on his bed with a groan.

“Idiot.”

You don’t return any more of his calls or texts.

......

Present

Satoru’s feet carry him through the crowd, conversation drifting through the air. He can hear Utahime yelling at Suguru and Satoru resists the damn near instinctual urge to turn towards the screeching so he can join Suguru in whatever antics set her off. It’s always funny seeing how red her face gets. He also hears the sounds of Shoko’s airy laugh as she catches up with Nanami and Ijichi. An odd group, he thinks, but Satoru doesn’t have time to dwell on it because he hears the sweet sound of your laugh and–

Wait.

He stops in his tracks, the drink in his hand sloshing with the abrupt halt. He turns his head to peer over the crowd, but he doesn’t see anything, doesn’t see you. Maybe his mind is playing tricks on him. There’s no way you’d actually be here. You’re overseas. At least, he thinks you may be overseas. That’s the last thing he knew about you for certain. Satoru’s not sure what you’re up to these days. He hasn’t asked, afraid of what the answer will be. He’s not sure he could handle knowing you’re potentially engaged or happily married. Hell, he’s not sure he could handle knowing if you’re dating someone.

His piercing blue gaze finally lands on you and he realizes Haibara was actually not joking about someone potentially leaving with you tonight. Because you’re right there, off to the side of the crowd with some man, giggling at whatever he’s saying.

Satoru knows it’s you, even from a distance. He couldn’t mistake those beautiful eyes for anyone else's, the way they crinkle ever so slightly in the corners when you smile. He could never mistake those luscious, glossed lips he loved to kiss. You’re all smiles, as stunning as he remembers.

Everything keeps moving as time seems to stand still only for Satoru, his eyes never leaving you. And he knows he’s at this party with someone else. That’s what he should be focused on, but you’re all he cares about right now. His gaze locks onto your lips, following the curve of your smile, the way your tongue darts out just a bit to run along your bottom lip, the way those lips form your words.

You may still hate him after all this time, but Satoru wants to talk to you. He almost wants to get just close enough for you to notice him. Maybe you’ll make the first move and talk to him.

‘What the fuck am I doing?’ He thinks, lips pursed in concentration.

He should get back to his actual girlfriend. He’s been gone for too long. She’s bound to come looking for him if he doesn’t get back to her soon. Yeah, he’ll just go back. Talking to you won’t be good for him anyway –

The man you’re speaking to leans forward, his lips moving to your ear and Satoru, with his eyes still glued to your lips, feels his blood boil as he watches them part with what he’s pretty sure is a sigh. When he sees your hand come up to lay on the other man’s arm, his nostrils flare with irritation. When you smirk at what the man is whispering, he feels his jaw tighten. And when the other man’s hand comes to land on your waist, Satoru’s feet move before he even realizes what he’s doing.

As he approaches, the man steps away, a slick grin on his face and you roll your eyes, shaking your head and giggling. Are you actually flirting with this guy? It’s only as he gets closer that Satoru can better make out who it is; poorly done bleach job, shitty eyeliner around his eyes, and too many ear piercings. It’s just Naoya Zenin. From what Satoru remembers, you hated that fucker all of high school.

Unless something’s changed and suddenly you’re into him? Is this who you’re dating now?

Satoru wants to be pissed, but this may work in his favor. If you could be on good terms with Naoya, who you absolutely despised for as long as you’d known him, then maybe you had room in your heart to forgive him for being such a piece of shit to you all those years ago.

Your eyes drift over to Satoru as he approaches you both. And you hardly react, only offering him a small smile before your attention drifts back to Naoya. And though a tiny curve of your lips is something, the lack of a reaction kind of annoys the shit out of him.

“Hey,” Satoru greets, mainly directed towards you because fuck Naoya.

“Hi, Satoru.” You fold your arms over your chest, eyes coming back to meet his. God, you’re as pretty as Satoru remembers you being. This close to you, Satoru can see how much you’ve changed. And time has been very good to you. You’re still beautiful in the youthful way Satoru remembers, but you’re grown now. His eyes trail down your frame quickly, drinking in the way you’ve filled out.

“Gojo…” Naoya says with clear disdain in his voice.

“Zenin.”

And it’s quiet now. Awkward. But it doesn’t matter to Satoru. His eyes are only on you.

You pull your gaze away from Satoru and back to Naoya.

“You look great,” Satoru tells you, sipping the drink meant for his girlfriend to keep himself from potentially following up with something stupid. He grimaces slightly at the taste before trying to cover it with a lopsided grin.

And you give him the same grin back, a little shy. It’s cute.

“Thanks, Satoru. You look good, too.”

“I didn’t know you were back in town.”

“Yeah, I’ve been back for a few months now. Just settling back in and working,” your brows knit together as you lean to the side to glance around Satoru. “I’m surprised Suguru didn’t tell you since I just had lunch with him like two days ago.”

He realizes you must be looking for Suguru when you straighten your stance again. Deep in his mind, Satoru makes a mental note to have a word with Suguru about this later. Next to him, Naoya snorts and Satoru has to resist saying something that will surely end with them in a fight. You must sense the tension because you ask Naoya if he can grab you a drink which prompts an eye roll from him, but he goes anyway.

“Doubt he’ll be back,” you mutter to Satoru with a smirk. “That asshole wants to hook up so bad it’s pathetic,” a soft chuckle rushes past your lips.

“Not interested, then?” Satoru jokes, a smile spread across his face.

You narrow your eyes, “Ha ha. You know I hate that guy. He won’t be back anyway. No way he’s gonna waste time getting a drink for someone who isn’t fucking him at the end of the night.”

If you weren’t still watching Naoya push his way through the crowd of partygoers, you may have seen Satoru visibly deflate.

“Ah, good to know you haven’t lowered your standards,” Satoru says and you laugh. The sound makes Satoru’s head spin. It’s been so long since he’s heard it.

“I don’t think my standards could ever be low enough to fuck Naoya,” you clarify, nose crinkling in disgust. Satoru chuckles at your reaction, watching as you shift uncomfortably before him. You fidget with the hem of your dress before you speak again.

“It’s actually really good to see you, Satoru.”

“Is it really?”

“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to reach out for a while. Life just got away from me.”

Satoru’s brows lift in surprise. “Reach out for what?” Your eyes are boring into his, wide and surveying, peering into his soul. Just the way they always did.

“I just felt like things left off on such a sour note with us. And you reached out trying to build a friendship and at the first sign of things getting weird, I just…ran. Didn’t look back. You were trying and I wasn’t. You didn’t deserve that.”

He knows you’re referring to the last time you’d spoken, though he’s not sure why you’re the one trying to apologize.

“And I just wanted to say I’m sorry for being a terrible friend to you.”

You always were way too sweet to him. He didn’t deserve that.

“I should be apologizing to you,” Satoru shakes his head. “I was still jealous back then. When I said I was worried you were still hung up on me, it’s because I was trying to cover up the fact that I was still hung up on you. Hearing your boyfriend call you babe–”

“Ex-boyfriend,” you interrupt, a soft smile gracing your features. Satoru smirks.

“Hearing your ex-boyfriend call you babe, it just…made me feel a lot of things I didn’t understand at the time. I shouldn’t have said what I did to set you off. I’m sorry.”

It’s only been a few minutes of you talking and it already feels like a weight has been lifted, like the wall you put up all those years ago has come down. You both must look strange, just standing off in the corner alone staring and smiling at each other like you’re the only two people in the room.

You talk a bit more, catch up on life. It doesn’t take long for things to feel comfortable between you two again - for your bodies to move a little closer, for your eyes to meet more often, for your shy touches to linger a little longer.

You’ve got your hand wrapped around Satoru’s forearm, snickering at something he’s said. And when you glance up at him, there’s something in your eyes telling him it’s okay to ask this. Because Satoru is happy to know you’re not interested in Naoya, even happier to know you’ve broken up with your college boyfriend, but what he wants to know now is –

“Are you seeing anyone? Dating, I mean,” He asks while he still has the nerve and tries not to let his eyes fall to your mouth when you shake your head and draw your lower lip between your teeth.

“Nope, single and just enjoying life honestly. You?”

Yes.

“Me?” Satoru asks.

Say yes, stupid.

You nod. “Yeah, you. Are you with someone?”

Yes. Yes.

“Uhh, well…”

YES.

The voice in his head is screaming the answer, the one he knows he should give you. The one that would confirm to Satoru that even after everything he’s done, he’s not a shitty person, not a terrible boyfriend. But when he looks at you, eyes shining up at him with those pretty lips curled into a smirk, he doesn’t want anything more than to be with you.

God, he’s such a piece of shit. He knows it. He’s not even thinking about his girlfriend still sitting around waiting for him to come back. He’s got tunnel vision and the only thing he sees is you.

Say yes!

“I…am not…with someone.”

......

The door to Suguru’s master bathroom slams shut, your back pressed against it as Satoru’s lips find your neck, licking a long strip from your collarbone up to your chin.

“Ah- Toru, the door. Lock the door,” you gasp, threading your fingers into his soft tresses to pull him down for a kiss. His fingers fumble around before he finds the lock, quickly turning before he breaks the kiss to focus on your neck again, kissing and sucking, marking anywhere he can. Your hands move to glide underneath his shirt, fingers grazing over his defined muscles and you sigh just as Satoru moves away from your neck to press his lips against yours.

Soft. So soft. It’s been so long since Satoru’s had you like this. He’d forgotten your taste, your smell and right now, it feels like he can’t get enough. Fuck the liquor, he’s drunk on you.

“Can I touch you?” Satoru breathes against your mouth. And you nod, kissing him again. He groans as your lips part, tongue slipping out to glide against his lips, seeking entry. And he obliges, gives you all the access you want as your tongues tangle together. You moan into his mouth, the sound shooting straight to his cock.

The dress you’re wearing is nice, simple but fits your body beautifully. Satoru can’t wait to get underneath it. He reaches down, pulling the hem of your dress up until it’s sitting at your waist. He slips his hand into your panties, hissing when he feels how soaked you are.

“So wet for me,” Satoru whispers into the kiss. “You want me that bad, baby?”

You nod, panting hard. “Yeah, so bad, Satoru,” you moan when his fingers glide through your slick fold, back arching off the door. “Fuck, I want you so bad.”

“I’m yours, baby.”

His lips crash into yours again, fingers working tight circles against your clit. You cry out, your hands balling into fists as you cling to Satoru’s shirt. He breaks the kiss, pressing his face into your neck as one of his fingers finds your entrance, plunging in slowly. Your mouth opens with a gasp as Satoru pumps into you, curling his finger until he finds your sweet spot.

He pulls back, watches your face as he slips another finger inside. He likes the way your legs shake when he turns his fingers a certain way. And the way your back arches off the door when he presses his thumb to your clit. It’s all new to him, these reactions you’re giving. You were a lot younger when you’d first become intimate. Now, it’s clear you’re much more experienced. The thought bothers and excites Satoru.

He pulls his fingers from your core, kissing you when you poke your lip out in a pout. And then he’s bending you over the bathroom sink, pushing your dress even higher before he slips his fingers in the waistband of your panties and pulls them down.

“Fuck, I never thought I’d see you like this again,” he groans, palming himself through his pants.

“Toru, stop wasting time and fuck me, please.”

You’re a lot more demanding now too, apparently. He doesn’t mind.

“Did you miss me?” Satoru asks, because he’s dying to know. Did you think about him when you were with your boyfriend? Were you trying not to cry out Satoru’s name when you fucked him? Did you want him back as much as he wanted you?

Satoru unbuttons his jeans, pulls his pants and boxers down together, hissing as his cock springs free. He’s so fucking hard, he could cum just looking at you bent over the sink like this. But Satoru wants to savor you, wants to enjoy this moment of having you again for the first time in so long. He reaches over and pulls open one of the bathroom drawers, fishing around until he finds a condom and he mentally thanks Suguru for always being prepared.

“Tell me,” he demands, wrapping a hand around his length. He strokes himself lazily as he rips the condom open. He rolls the condom down his length, lining himself up with your entrance. “Did you miss me?”

You’re so patient, waiting quietly for Satoru. Although, he can hear your breathing becoming a little harsher in anticipation. Satoru moves behind you, lines himself up with your entrance and just before he’s about to roll his hips forward, he glances up to see his reflection in the mirror with you bent over and ready for him.

“Look at me,” he says. You look up, watching him through the reflection. Even in the dim lighting of the bathroom, Satoru can see your pupils blown wide with lust matching his own. He wants to see you, wants to see your face when you take him for the first time in so long.

“Look at me,” he tells you again.

“Okay,” you breathe.

“Tell me you missed me,” Satoru quietly demands as he pushes forward, sliding the tip through your folds and sinking in slowly.

“Fuuuuuuck,” your mouth falls slack with a moan. Satoru’s hands find your waist, holding your curves as he sinks into you. “I missed you, Toru. So much, so fucking much.”

“God, baby, you have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to hear you say that.”

He’s halfway in and he has to stop to catch his breath because hearing you moan his name like that…He may not make it all the way in without blowing his load right into the condom. You’re suffocating him, clenching onto his cock so hard he’s almost afraid to move.

“Satoru, please. Don’t stop,” you plead. He meets your gaze in the mirror again, sees the way your eyes burn with desire. Satoru pulls his hips back until only his tip sits inside you and then he rolls his hips forward, burying himself as deep in your cunt as he can.

Your walls clench down on his cock and he moans again before he starts to move, pounding into you at an unrelenting pace. You cry out his name and he keeps moving, not letting up.

Satoru brings a hand around your neck, holding your head in place so he can look at you through the mirror. He sinks into you, bending down to kiss along your neck, your shoulders, your back as he bottoms out again and again, moaning his pleasure against you.

Satoru thinks you feel like heaven. It’s the only thing he can think when he leans back and grips on to your waist again, watching your face contort in ecstasy. Every little sound you make, every moan, every sigh, every “right there” you utter brings Satoru closer and closer to his release.

Satoru has missed you. He’s missed the way your skin feels against his, missed the way your breath hitches in your throat when his cock hits just the right spot, missed touching and grabbing the soft curves of your beautiful body. Missed how your ass bounces with each thrust, cheeks spreading just enough to give him a glimpse of that tight little hole he’s never gotten the chance to have. And god, he hopes no one else has either.

More than anything though, he’s missed the way you take all of him, hug him tight like you never want to let him go. Fuck, he could live inside you and never get tired of it. The thought alone, the thought of having you all to himself again has him leaning forward, moaning into the space between your shoulders as he rocks his hips against you. The loud smacking noises of Satoru’s groin meeting your ass echo throughout the bathroom, and he doesn’t care who hears.

“Fuuuck, how are you so fucking tight, still?” Satoru groans, reminiscing on the first time he’d ever had you. An out of body experience for him, personally. Truly unforgettable.

“I’m never letting you go again,” he grunts, feeling your walls begin to flutter around him.

“Toru, I’m close,” you whimper. “So close, Toru, don’t stop.”

“Cum for me baby,” Satoru groans, hand sliding down your side to find your center again. He rubs tight circles on your clit, eyes rolling to the back of his head when he feels your pussy squeeze down on him as you cry out his name, your release crashing over you.

It’s so tight, so fucking tight Satoru thinks he might pass out. He can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t fucking see straight, you’re gripping him so hard.

“Ah- fuck, oh fuck! I’m gonna cum. Baby, I’m gonna cum,” he grits out as he pushes his cock all the way inside you, thrusting as deep as he can go as hot spurts of cum fill the condom. He leans forward, pressing his forehead against your back as you both catch your breath.

Satoru meant what he said. He never wants to let you go. He has every intention of being with you. After you’ve both come down from your highs and cleaned up, Satoru kisses you gently. He watches as you turn back to the mirror. You’re even more beautiful as you tame your messy hair, fix your makeup and adjust your dress.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” He asks, ready to make up for years worth of lost time.

Your eyes meet in the mirror, your lips tilting with a small smile. “Yeah, let’s go.”

......

Fingers laced, you and Satoru weave through the party together. The crowd seems to have thinned out now with how late it’s getting. It’s the perfect time to get out of here with you, take you home and –

“Satoru! There you are!” A familiar voice squeals. The sound makes Satoru quickly yank his hand from your grip. You stop in your tracks, brows furrowing as you look up at him.

“What’s the matter?” You ask just as this person you don’t know bounds up to him and wraps her arms around Satoru’s neck, pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek before she lets go.

And Satoru isn’t sure how he hasn’t noticed this before. It seems like some sick twist of fate that it’s only now that you’re standing next to each other that he sees how eerily similar you and his girlfriend look. It makes his stomach churn.

But his girlfriend, so drunk and so sweet, turns to you and beams as she holds out her hand to you. “Hi! I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Satoru’s girlfriend…” His stomach nearly drops into his ass. “...you are?”

God, he wishes he could teleport out of here. Or that the ground would open wide and swallow him whole, bury him 8,000 meters beneath the earth. Anything to avoid being present at this moment. He peers down at you briefly, your hand extending to shake his girlfriends for only a second. And Satoru thinks he may be imagining it, the sheer anger he can feel radiating off of your body, even as you return his girlfriend’s sweet smile.

“Satoru’s girlfriend?” You ask and he knows you’re making sure you aren’t hearing things. Because not too long ago, he told you he wasn’t tied down to anyone. “I wasn’t aware he was dating anyone.”

“Yep! Been together almost a year now,” she brags cheerily. Satoru really wishes she’d shut up for once in her damn life.

You breathe out a bitter laugh, gazing up at Satoru and he knows he’s not imagining the rage. He can see it swimming in your eyes even as you reach up, your thumb gently swiping the corner of his mouth where apparently remnants of your lip gloss remained. You hold your finger up to show him and then hold it up to show his girlfriend who five seconds ago was too drunk to notice. She seems to have sobered up quickly now, eyes focused on the lip gloss you just wiped from Satoru’s face.

You introduce yourself to her, wiping your thumb off on your dress before continuing, “And I’m sorry to tell you this, but I’m the girl who just fucked your lying boyfriend in the bathroom.”

Satoru watches in ill disguised horror as you crane your next to the side, gesturing to the marks he so stupidly made along your neck in the heat of passion. His eyes find his girlfriend who stands there, mouth agape.

“Satoru told me he wasn’t seeing anyone. If I had known it wouldn’t have happened. And believe me, it won’t ever happen again.” You turn to face Satoru one last time, gritting out, “I can’t fucking believe you. After all these years, you’re still such a piece of shit, Satoru.”

You don’t wait for a response from him, turning on your heel and storming through the crowd. Satoru watches as your back retreats, not sure what the hell he’d say even if he did catch up to you. How could he explain that he lied about his girlfriend because he wanted to spend more time with you? It’s not like he planned on fucking in the bathroom, it just happened. But there was no way you were going to give him a second of your time to try and explain.

There was no coming back from this.

When he finally loses sight of you in the crowd, Satoru reluctantly brings his gaze back down to his probably soon to be ex-girlfriend and is met with a fury similar to yours. Again, the similarities are uncanny. All the love and happiness once shining in her eyes is nowhere to be found as one question hangs in the air between them.

“Satoru, what the fuck is she talking about?”

AN: OOF, let me know what you think!

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littlefireball · 2 months

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Well you haven't made a Seongjoong x Y/N smut before 😅 1. How about Y/n is their young teacher and Seongjoong are their students (Y/N is that one teacher that everyone thirsts over) Seonghwa is the quiet kid and Hongjoong is his outgoing bestfriend. 2. Seongjoong is in an omegaverse setting at idols and Y/n is their choreographer for a Matz song. (She's a regular choreographer) 3. Seongjoong is at the bar and they ask if y/n if she's open minded

This is my first time requesting for a smut on tumblr or anywhere. I rlly hope this makes it. No pressure take ur time ik books take time to write and i love ur header thingies

thank you for your request! this article is the 3rd one and i add some settings on it

ᴍᴀᴛᴢ|ʟᴏᴠᴇʟʏ ᴘᴇᴛ (ᴍ)

ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ ꜱᴇᴏɴɢᴊᴏᴏɴɢ x ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2.2ᴋ

Vampire series: San

They were hungry. They needed something sweet, something delicious to satisfy their perverted desire.

Yet, it was hard. The noxious scent of most humans repulsed them; their blood, far from fresh, bordered on disgusting. Even animal blood, once a palatable substitute, now left Seonghwa and Hongjoong weary. The prospect of hunting human prey, unvisited for months, drove them to the brink of madness.

"I gotta be crazy," remarked Hongjoong, the taste of his drink doing little to quell the emptiness within him. No measure of alcohol could divert his attention from the relentless hunger and thirst.

"We are left with no choice," Seonghwa's lament was tinged with resignation. "Perhaps you should choose that woman, if you can stomach it."

Inclining his head in the direction indicated by Seonghwa, Hongjoong locked eyes with a sexy woman. "Seriously?" he scoffed incredulously. Her blood, he discovered upon smelling it, was anything but enticing. "She appears quite taken with you. Her gaze remains fixed upon you."

"Get off." Hongjoong averted his gaze, eschewing further eye contact. "She's coming." Hongjoong stared at Seonghwa, who emitted a chuckle. "Hey, boy." The woman propped herself against the bar counter, making an overt display of her alluring figure. "Care to join me for a drink?" "Nope, never, thanks.."

"Oh, come on~ It's gonna be so much fun~" With a firm grip on Hongjoong's arm, the woman insisted. "I've said! Just let me go or I'll─" Seonghwa promptly intervened, preventing any potential loss of control by silencing Hongjoong with his hand. "Sorry, he's drunk." Seonghwa offered an apologetic smile, and the woman retreated in a huff.

"What are you doing?! I could have killed her." "Calm down, Hongjoong. Do you wish to be exposed?" "Tsk…No matter how many hunters emerge, I can kill them all." Indeed, there were hunters within the city skilled in tracking down vampires. They must be careful not to overuse their powers lest they be discovered.

"I am not ready to meet my demise just yet." Seonghwa remarked, taking a sip of his beverage. "Shall we leave? This place has grown boring." "Indeed." As they set down their wine glasses, a seductive aroma wafted through the air, enveloping them like a scorching wave.

"Hey, Y/N~You finally~here~" "Wh─why are you drinking that much?!" You came to the aid of your friend, the sexy woman, as she stumbled. "I'm not~drunk~"she slurred. You couldn't help but roll your eyes. Today marked the fourth time this week that you had been called to help her.

"Goodness, just go back and don't drink anymore." "No!I have to drink with those two handsome guys~" Turning your head in the direction she indicated, you were met with Seonghwa and Hongjoong's intense gaze. Oh your friend was right, they were the most handsome men you have ever seen.

'Oh shit…did she do something bad to them? Fuck!' You sighed, wishing you could just leave your friend and escape. However, there was no choice but to settle her on the couch and offer them an apology.

"Hmm, hello?" The more you gazed on them, the closer they came to the brink of losing control. Your blood was incredibly alluring, and the delightful flavor enticed them to sink their teeth into your neck. However, they tried their best to resist the temptation. "I am her friend and have come to apologize if she has done anything to upset you…"

"Oh yes, she did something that angered us." Hongjoong said, putting his hands in his trouser pockets, feigning dissatisfaction. "Well, she sexually harassed us."

'What the fuck…' You murmured under your breath. "Um…what can I do to make it up to you? I know just saying sorry is─""Actually, we wanted to just forget about it, but if you want to make it up to us, we are open to that," Seonghwa added.

"I am Seonghwa and he is Hongjoong." You nodded.

"What's your name, lady?"

"Y/N." "Good."

"So, what do you want me to do?" You asked, feeling nervous.

"Let me ask you a question first, Y/N." Seonghwa approached you to meet your gaze at eye level. "Are you open minded?"

—------

You found yourself in a kneeling position on the luxurious sofa, with a silk blindfold covering your eyes. This room was the furthest from the bustling bar, where the distant music and muffled breathing only serve to heighten your sense of unease, causing your heart to quicken its pace.

"Raise up your hand, honey,"Seonghwa's command was followed by a firm grab on the hem of your T-shirt, prompting you to comply with his request to undress. As he couldn't help but express his admiration for your beauty, you whined at shyness.

"Who do you want in the back?" Hongjoong's whispered question against your neck was followed by a trail of kisses. "It doesn't matter…" As you naturally tilted your head to allow him to give you a wet kiss, the excitement grew. "Good, babe. I would be at the front." Hongjoong positioned you against Seonghwa's naked chest after he moved to your back, the sudden touch of skin sending a shiver down your spine.

"Honey, do you know what blood play is?" "Blood play?" "Yah, some kind of knife play. It's a little bit painful but you will love it." Seonghwa whispered softly against your temple, his warm breath caressing your skin. "Just like so." His fingers glided down to your forearm, delicately grazing it with his sharp nail, causing a small trickle of blood to emerge.

You couldn't help but let out a sharp intake of breath at the sensation, the mixture of pain and pleasure sending shivers down your spine. It was as if you thrived on the intensity of conflicting emotions washing over you in that moment.

"It's blood…" His left hand brushed your arm, wiping off the red blood on the surface, leaving shallow blood marks. Their eyes were flashing red light, tinged with hunger and thirst.

"Get ready?" Hongjoong asked as his hand sneaked to your panties. "Yes, please." Seonghwa lifted your ass up to literally rip off your panties, guiding his cock towards your soaked hole. "Take a seat, babe." With a firm grab on your shoulder and waist, you followed his lead to sink down on his arched cock.

"Oh fuck…" "It's big, isn't it?" You wrapped around Hongjoong's shoulder as a support and started to bounce slowly. Adjusting his size was harder than your imagination, you could feel every vein of his cock each time you sank down. "Our baby is doing well," Hongjoong's words made your head spin in pleasure, and you moved faster.

"Gosh, you're amazing." Seonghwa pushed forward to make his tip meet your soft flesh, making your body bounce up and down from his movement. "Hwa…" "Don't forget about me, babe." Hongjoong cupped your face and pressed his lips against yours. He appeared to lavish all of his affection into the kiss, caressing and nibbling on your lips. He drew you nearer, prolonging the intense and romantic kiss, drawing out the sweetness from your mouth, gently teasing your tongue.

Yet, everything changed when this lovemaking became intense.

Without a warning, Seonghwa sank his teeth into your neck, causing crimson liquid to trickle down, prompting you to bite down on your lip in a valiant effort to withstand the agony. Your fists clenched tightly, imprinting deep crescent shapes into your palms.

"Shit…hwa…" "Relax." Seonghwa attempted to divert your attention by fucking you harder. His movement was no mercy. He positioned you to lean forward to allow him to pump into you with a new angle. His hardened tip collided with your soft flesh crazily, producing a loud skin slapping sound and making you moan without care.

"Fuck!Fuck!Fuck!" The bright red blood flows down your shoulders to your chest, a sight both terrifying and mesmerizing. "Let me taste you." Hongjoong shifted his attention to your bosom, inhaling the intoxicating fragrance he craved. He immersed himself in your curves, indulging in nibbles and kisses that produced lewd saliva noises.

The symphony of moans and screams intertwined as the excruciating sensation of the bite became increasingly unbearable. A foreboding sense of dread envelops your heart, as if you were the coveted feast they had been anticipating for so long. The concept of blood play was merely a facade for their insatiable hunger.

You had to leave, but how?

"I…I'm gonna cum,hwa." "But I'm not yet, what should we do then?" You wanted to escape but they grabbed you tightly. How could you fight back these two men?

"Babe, there is something you have never tried. You'll like it." "No, please." "There is no way to go back."

Hongjoong delicately lifted your bra, his lips caressing your breasts as his tongue danced around your nipples, leaving a glistening trail of desire. With a hunger that knew no bounds, he claimed your lips in a passionate kiss, his touch igniting a fire within you. His hands explored the softness of your thighs, each caress sending shivers down your spine and quickening your pulse.

"Please, no more." You whispered between the kisses but were ignored as if they were totally lost in this love making.

"I heard…the sound of blood flowing…" He parted from your lips and trailed down, searching for something he desired for so long. Suddenly, with a fierce intensity, he tore open your chest, causing you to cry out in agony as your life force drained away.

"SHIT!!"

Hongjoong eagerly drank from your blood, and crimson liquid droplets trickled from the corner of his mouth, sliding down his throat as he continuously swallowed. Seonghwa let out a deep growl as he saw how Hongjoong sucked your delicious blood.

"Damn!" Seonghwa indulged in sinking his teeth into your neck, leaving behind a trail of deep, passionate bites and kisses, adorning your skin with an array of purple marks. "It hurts, please stop!" Your desperate pleas fell on deaf ears. No amount of tears will bring you salvation.

"So sweet! It's the taste of this blood! The blood I've been looking for!" Hongjoong found himself drawn closer to you, his gaze locked on the tantalizing blood pulsing in your veins. The crimson liquid flowed freely from the wound, leaving a mark on both your skin and his lips.

"Gotta mark you and you would be our own pet." "What…?" Hongjoong pushed you back, making you and Seonghwa lay back to the sofa. Guiding his cock to rub against your clit, he thrusted in your cunt without a second thought.

"Fuck!!" You arched your back as the new sensation became almost overwhelming. Their manhoods were divided by the thin wall of your lower body, allowing them to sense each other's movements with every powerful thrust. "This is truly remarkable," Hongjoong murmured as he skillfully moved his hips, ensuring that he reached the most sensitive parts of your body, bringing you to the peak of pleasure.

Hongjoong fucked you at an inhuman pace as if he never tired. On the other hand, Seonghwa maintained a rhythmic thrust, feeling how your tight ass sucked him in. The warmth of your walls drove Hongjoong crazy. He could feel the heat concentrated at the tip, hitting your sweet spot, and a numbing sensation made him moan softly.

You tried to push him away but you couldn't. The rapid depletion of blood was swifter than anticipated, leading to a gradual decrease in body temperature, a foggy state of consciousness, akin to a delicate mist, and a weightiness settling upon your eyelids. Your limbs grew increasingly weak, and you could only slump onto Seonghwa, like a puppet manipulated by them.

"Need to cum, now." Hongjoong huffed, panting heavily as his thrust became slippery. "Me too." Seonghwa chimed in. And you moaned weakly as you were almost unconscious.

What you could remember before the darkness enveloped you was the warm liquid soaked your cunt and hole, and there was something hot on your nape.

It hurts.

—----

You awaken from your slumber, feeling disoriented. "What is happening…?" Struggling to sit up, you realized your limbs are restrained by metal cuffs. "This can't be real…"

"Are you awake?" A chilling voice echoed nearby, making you tremble. "Don't be afraid, dear. Everything is fine." As footsteps drew nearer, a slender figure emerged. Seonghwa's eyes gleam red, fixated on you like a predator eyeing its prey.

"Release me." Fear grips you as you attempt to retreat, only to be met by the unyielding cold wall behind you. "No, my dear. You belong to us now." Another voice, belonging to Hongjoong, rang in your ears. "You are ours, and you shall not escape." Before you could protest, he knelt beside you and sunk his teeth into your neck, eliciting cries of agony.

"Easy, Hongjoong. Be careful not to kill her." Seonghwa took your hand and bit your waist with a great force. "Dear, you're so sweet. I really like you." As he licked your wounds, a mix of numbness and pain overwhelmed you, stealing away your consciousness. Helpless, you could only gaze blankly at the ceiling as they had their way with you.

"So good, such a lovely pet."

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez smut #ateez x female reader #ateez imagines #ateez oneshot #ateez x reader #ateez x y/n #seonghwa smut #ateez seonghwa #seonghwa #seongjoong #kim hongjoong #hongjoong #matz #ateez hongjoong

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short-honey-badger · 1 year

Text

Phantom Pain part 2

Masterlist

Part 2 of my mini fic. I hope you enjoy this one as well!

You jerk away from his hand with a sneer, cheeks flushing at the unexpected kiss, "Please get off of me," you demand, tone not leaving any room for joking. Just because the two of you apparently belonged together didn't mean he could get all touchy-feely with you immediately.

You are pleased when he actually lets you go and plops back into his own seat. You turn and examine him with a frown, flickering your eyes up and down his rather impressive form. Your soulmate was handsome in a rugged sort of way with dark eyes and a carefree smile that could put anyone at ease. Anyone but you, at least.

"Shanks," you say his name and the man perks up like a puppy. You furrow your brow at him, trying to recall why his name sounds so damn familiar, and you jerk back even further when it finally clicks, "Red-Haired Shanks? The Yonko?" You demand, and your voice goes a little shrill at the end. Your heart wants to beat out of your chest, and your eyes are wide as dinner plates. It would be your luck that someone so terrifyingly strong would be your soulmate. This must be to make up for your own cowardly and wiley ways. You were a firm believer in not your monkey, not your circus.

This man made other people's business, his business, and that wasn't something you wanted to deal with. Not like you had much of a choice if he was believed, but you would not hide away how you felt. You've never held back before. Why stop now?

Shanks just laughs when he feels your annoyance and frustration stream down the bond the two of you share, "Yep," he pops the p and leans in close to you, and you lean away in response, "The one and only," he gives you a smug little grin and you suddenly want to wipe it off his face with a well-placed punch, "You still haven't told me your name yet, Hon."

You reach for your mug to give yourself a little bit of time to think about how you want to respond. Running was out of the question. His entire crew was in the building with him, and you didn't think you could get very far anyway. And even if you did manage to get away, Shanks knew what you looked like and could easily track you down with the connections he surely had.

You let out an explosive sigh and mourn the freedom you once had, and then quietly tell your soul mate your name.

"_," Shanks says your name softly, tasting the syllables on his tongue, and you shiver at the way he says it. How can he say your name with so much emotion attached to it? How can he care so much about you already? It's enough to almost frighten you.

Shanks stares at you, brushing away your rising confusion that he feels. You were nothing like he had expected out of a soul mate, surly and snappy with a bad attitude. But you were his, and he would show you how much you meant to him even if you didn't want anything to do with him. You were made for him, just like he was made for you.

"I like it, your name I mean," the redhead says, and satisfaction curls hot in his chest when he feels your embarrassment. Who knew that you were so shy? He wonders if it is your biology or you responding to him.

"Thanks, I guess," you murmur and give him a strange look. What an odd statement to make, but your soul mate seemed like an odd man anyway, so what was new?

Shanks grins and reaches out to drag you closer by your stool, causing you to flail for a hot second as you lose your balance. The Yonko saves you from the close fall by wrapping his arm around your waist, "Oopse," he says with that smug grin, and again, you want to wipe it off his pretty face with your fist. You can feel his joy and playfulness over the bond you share with him.

"Insufferable," you grumble lowly. You shift in your seat just to feel how tightly he holds you, and the longer you stay, the more you feel that freedom slips further and further away. You have run from this your entire life, and in one fell swoop, your fate had been sealed by walking into the wrong tavern.

"Can't help myself, Baby," Shanks says, and you can feel his joy and giddiness at you accepting your place at his side. Maybe not fully, but he could tell that you didn't plan on running anymore. His arm tightens around your waist, and Shanks leans in to drop a kiss on the top of your head, "I wanna know everything about you."

You huff through your nose, eyes rolling to the heavens, and when they come back down, they settle on Shanks, who looks eager just to be near you. You suppose his open affection would be something you'd need to get used to.

"Finnnee," you draw out and then tip up the remainder of your drink, "But you are buying the rest of the night," like hell would you spend what little money you had if your soul mate was here. You would happily let him pick that up for you.

"I think I can handle that. Pick your poison, Baby," he says easily, and hours later, you find out that the redhead was serious about wanting to know everything about you. Shanks had asked you every question under the sun, to the point that you had snapped at him to be silent for two seconds just so you could take a breather and think. This man was overwhelming in every way possible, and it made you wonder why fate decided the two of you belonged together. However, for all your dislike and disgust for soul mates, you couldn't deny that yours wasn't a bad one.

"Alright, that's enough. You're a sponge, aren't ya, Sweetheart?" Shanks says, and you blink up at him, vision a little swimmy. Huh, guess you had drank more than what you thought.

Shanks stands and steadies his soul mate when you seem to sway to the side. He gently pulls you off the stool and laces his hand with one of your own, "I think it's time we got back to the ship," he says and makes sure to keep his voice clear. The Yonko didn't want you to think that he had kidnapped you or something. He watches your vision sharpen as you process what he said.

You swallow harshly, hand clenching around his own and your free hand tangling in his dark cloak. Fuck. You weren't ready. How were you supposed to be there for someone else when you could hardly be there for yourself? This man was so strong and you were so weak in comparison it was pathetic.

Before you could spiral further, Shanks grabbed your attention by tugging you into his chest and kissing the top of your head just as softly as he did earlier. He could feel your fear and anxiety flowing between the two of you, and it made his heart ache that you were so fearful of something so good.

"Don't worry. We'll take this one step at a time,_ " he says your name again, and you feel yourself relax just a bit. He says it like it's the most important thing in the world, and maybe it is to him. He grins at you when you calm down and pulls away, but keeps his hand tangled with your own, "Now let's go. I wanna show you my ship. We've got a lot to catch up on."

Shanks pulls you out of the tavern and down to the harbor, and you have no choice but to follow behind him, completely forgetting your now dry coat left hanging by the door.

#fanfic #one piece #reader insert #red haired shanks #shanks #shanks x reader #shanks x y/n #shanks x you #angst #possessive shanks #soulmate au #opla shanks #phantom pain

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kaliforniahigh · 1 month

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Being neighbors with the guys, knowing who they are just not caring because they're just people. Eventually becoming friends but also dismissing Noah's flirting because you're older (4/5yrs), on the chubby side, and just feeling like he's definitely out of your league. He loves that you are just able to be yourself (no makeup, messy hair, etc) and that you're a nerd like he is.

Thank you so much for the request!!! I hope you like it, nonny <3

Warnings: reader mentions that her dad has passed away, insecurity, a little bit of angst, comfort, mentions of weed, parties, probably some innacuracies regarding animes and mangas. I think that's it.

WC: 3.3k (I'll proofread this later!)

Requests are closed for now.

You didn't know the people that just moved in and were now living in the house next to yours, but you were about to find out. You could only guess they were young adults or fresh out of college and unemployed. Ok, maybe that was you passing jugdment before even meeting these people, but who throws parties on Sundays? Obviously someone who doesn't have to work on Monday, that's for sure.

You've been trying to ignore the bass thumping through the walls for the past couple of hours, as you were not ready to sleep yet. You just hoped they would quiet down by the time you went to bed. But as you laid there, the clock reading just past midnight and the music and chatter not giving signs of slowing down, you decided that a trip next door was in order. The music wasn't actually bad, as you were a fan of metal yourself. But your days of staying up late on a work night ended long ago.

You didn't bother putting any effort into your appearance, thinking your new neighbour - or neighbours - would already dislike you for complaining about their party.

Putting your hair up in a half-assed bun, wrapping your fluffy robe around your body that was clad in a less than decent pajama, you put on your slippers and made your way downstairs and out of the house.

You rang the doorbell a couple of times, standing there and waiting for someone to answer the door, pulling your robe tighter on your body, feet tapping on the ground. You assumed you must look like a grumpy cat.

The door opened and you actually had to look up to meet the person on the other side in the eyes. And as soon as you do, realization takes over you. But you didn't have the time to mull over the fact that Noah Sebastian - and the whole of Bad Omens, probably - is your neighbour, because he was greeting you.

"Hello", he said, leaning on the door frame, eyes going over you and a curious look takes over his face.

"Hey. We haven't met yet, but I'm your next door neighbour", you extend a hand for him to take, and his enveloped yours entirely. But his handshake is firm and his hand is warm.

"Oh, I'm sorry we haven't had the time to introduce ourselves yet, with moving and everything", you were actually glad he didn't have the time, you don't know what you'd do if Noah just casually knocked on your door.

"Well, I'm sorry we're meeting like this, but I actually came here to see if you could turn the volume down a little?" you pointed past him towards the house and the music playing on the speakers. "It's just that it's past midnight and I have work tomorrow morning", you explained.

His face changed into one of shock and a little embarrassment.

"Oh my God, I didn't realize it was so late already or we would've turned it down a lot sooner. I'm really sorry", he disappeared behind the door for a few seconds and you heard voices before the music cut off entirely.

"You don't have to turn it off, turning it down is enough really, I don't want to ruin your party", you told him, feeling a little guilty.

"No, it's ok, the other neighbours were probably bothered as well. Thank you for coming here and letting me know about the noise", he sounded sincere. "I would invite you in for a drink, but I take it you're already headed to bed?", he pointed out, reffering to your choice of clothes. You laughed a little at this.

"You're definitely right. It's already way past my bedtime", you joked, pointing to an imaginary watch on your wrist.

"Well, I guess we'll leave it for another time, right?", he crossed his arms over his chest, a smirk playing on his lips. You tried not to focus on the way his arms bulged at the motion.

"Yeah, of course" you didn't know what to say. You didn't even know this man for more than fifteen minutes probably, and he was already inviting you into his house.

"I'll hold you to it", the smirk never left his lips and you were beginning to wonder if he was flirting with you? It couldn't be, because you just came here in the most stupid clothes and completely crashed his party.

"Well, I better head home, I got an early start tomorrow. Thank you for turning down the noise", you said and started to back away from his front door.

"Anytime, sweetheart. Sleep well", he said, but made no move to get inside the house. Did he just call you sweetheart?

"You too", and with that, you finally turned away from him and walked to your front door. As you unlocked it, you looked over at his house and saw that he was still watching you, making sure you arrived at your house in one piece. Waving at you, he waited until you waved back and got inside to retreat into his home.

Noah saw you in passing for the next couple of days, when he was leaving the house and you were just arriving or the other way around. It was currently Saturday afternoon and he had just arrived from a studio session with the guys.

Parking in the driveway, he noticed your garage was open, but you were nowhere in sight. He didn't even know you had a car since your garage was always closed. Worrying a little, he decided to stop by and check what was going on.

Walking the few steps to your house, he noticed a beautiful Cutlass parked in your garage, and your feet clad with a pair of boots peeking out from underneath.

You must have noticed him arriving, because you slid your way out from underneath the car, a wrench in your hand, that were dirty with oil. That's when he noticed the overalls covering your body. You stood up, greeting him, but decided to not shake hands this time.

"Hey, Noah. What's up? I would shake your hand, but, you know", you trailed off, mentioning to your messy hands.

"Hi", he greeted back. His eyes going over your frame, noticing how your overalls were tight around your hips, highlighting the shape of your body, as well as your full breasts, that were being hugged by a white t-shirt underneath. The robe you wore that day definetely didn't do you justice. "Nothing, I just... I arrived and noticed your garage was open and....", fuck, he was stammering like an idiot and you totally noticed. "I decided to check on you", he finally said what he wanted to say.

"All good here. Just taking care of this beauty and making sure it's still running", your hands ran over the side of the car.

"It's a beautiful car. Is it yours?" he asked, wanting to facepalm himself. It was inside your garage, of course it's yours.

"It was my dad's, it got passed down to me after he passed away. My brother is not really a car person and he lives far away", you explained.

There was a lull in conversation after your statement, so he decided to say the first thing that came to his mind.

"I was actually meaning to tell you", he started, your eyes paying close attention to him. "We're having a party next Saturday and I was wondering if you wanted to come? To make up for last time?"

They were totally not having a party next Saturday and he didn't even know if he had something planned already. But if he has, it was now cancelled.

"I would love to come", you said, voice excited.

"Amazing. I'll see you around then?", he was slowly making his way out of your garage. Not wanting to say anymore dumb things.

"Sure", you sat back down to go back to work and watched his back as he left.

You decided that if this man was actually flirting with you, you would let yourself have this one, enjoy it and get whatever he was willing to give you. And if it went nowhere, you would go back to just being friendly neighbours.

You were never one to dress up for parties, so you standing in front of your mirror on Saturday with not too much time to spare before you had to head to Noah's house wasn't a surprise for you. You probably tried on five or six outfits by now, and none of them seemed party appropriate.

Ultimately, you settled for an oversized t-shirt and some biker shorts. You guess that's what the cool girls were wearing nowadays. Since you spent too much time on your outfit, you didn't realy have time to put any makeup on - not that you even applied much anyways, the feeling of stuff on your face made you extremely anxious. So you put on your shoes and headed outside.

The door opened just a few seconds after you knocked, Ruffilo standing on the other side. You still never mentioned it to Noah that you knew the band before he moved in. You kind of felt scared he would lose interest in you.

"Hey! You must be Y/N", he greeted you, moving sideways so you could come in the house.

"That's me", you made your way inside. The place wasn't that packed, but there was music playing in the background, and you felt a distinct smell of weed in the air.

"Noah has been mentioning you a lot lately. Sorry I haven't been around to introduce myself yet", you made a dismisse wave with your hand.

"We're all busy, I get it. I'm here anyways, so I'll get to know all of you"

You looked around and noticed a few people scattered about. You couldn't help but notice how young these people seemed. You know 34 isn't that old, but you couldn't help but feel a little out of place in the middle of so many people in their 20s. Did you even know how to interact with them anymore?

Being the older sibling in your household, you always felt like you had to act older than you really were, in order to take care of your brothers, that you often forgot to live your own life. Noah didn't have to worry about that, his life was a dream to anyone his age. Getting to travel around the world doing what you love. You suddently weren't so sure about encouraging his advances.

Nick showed you where the drinks were and told you he would let Noah know you had arrived. Picking a beer to sip on for now, you heard someone calling your name from behind you.

Noah stood tall as always, dressed in black from head to toe, somehow the color made his tattoos stand out even more. He wore a loose tank, so most of them were on display.

He made his way closer to you and you registered he was coming in for a hug. You wrapped the arm that wasn't holding your drink around his neck as best as you could with your height difference, and you felt the warmth of his hands going to your waist.

The hug lasted maybe a tad longer than it was supposed to, and when you parted, he kept himself close to you. You leaned your back against the kitchen cabinets behind you.

"I'm sorry our parties are a little lame. No one dancing on top of the tables or anything", he looked around as he said it.

"That's perfect, actually. I don't know if I could handle that", you said with a little laugh.

"C'mon, let's sit down on the couch. I'm not gonna have you just standing here", he took your hand and led you towards the living room.

"Wow, is that Attack on Titan playing on the TV?", you said, in a little shock. The parties here were different indeed. You sat on the couch and he sat beside you.

"Yeah, just in case someone wants to watch something. You a fan?", he asked.

"I love it. I'm a big manga fan overall", you seemed to catch his attention even more now.

"What's your favorite?", he moved more towards you.

"I mean, it has to be Naruto. It's the one that got me into it after all"

You slipped into an easy conversation with Noah, talking about your favorite mangas and animes. He introduced you to his friends whenever they approached the two of you, but mostly you kept close to each other, neither one of you considering doing anything else at the moment.

The conversation drifted to other topics, like music, movies and random stuff. Regular things you talk about when you're just getting to know someone. You watched him talk about the things he's passionate about with so much admiration in you eyes, you hoped it wasn't too obvious.

You got up to get another drink from time to time, choosing to switch from the beer to non-alcoholic beverages. Noah didnt drink anything alcoholic thoughout the night, and when you asked him if he wanted a beer, he told you he stopped drinking a while ago.

You noticed the party was slowly fizzling out. There weren't nearly as many people around now compared to when you arrived. You looked at the watch on your wrist and noticed it was already past midnight. You would have to leave soon. You didn't want to be those people who overstayed their welcome.

There was only you and Noah in the living room right now, and you looked over to see everyone hanging out on the outside patio.

"We can go out there if you want to", you told him, not wanting to keep him from enjoying time with his friends.

"Nah, I'm good here. I would actually prefer to stay here", he was honest and you could see it in his eyes.

You were facing each other, knees touching and one of his hands were resting on the back of the couch, close to your face. He took advantage in the lull of the conversation to move his hand to rest on the side of your face, gathering some of your hair and putting it behind your ear, thumb grazing your cheek ever so slightly.

You couldn't look away from his beautiful, dark eyes. And his gaze drifted from your eyes to your lips and you felt tingles run all over your body. He leaned in closer and you could tell he was going to kiss you anytime now. But the thoughts in your head ran rampant and you conjured up a million scenarios in just a millisecond.

He doesn't even know how old you are.

He is famous and everyone is going to call you a cougar and make fun of him for dating someone so much older.

He is going to trade you for someone younger soon enough

You didn't want to, your body was contradicting your mind and telling you to just kiss him, but you put your hand on his chest and it made him stop in his tracks.

"Noah...", you said, not wanting to look into his eyes, but knowing you had to. You saw his face change from confusion, to embarrassment and horror all at once.

"I'm so sorry, I should've asked you first. I guess I misread the signs", he moved his body away from you, creating a distance that became unbearable to you. You hated that you made him feel like this.

"No, you didn't. I just....", you stumbled over your words, not knowing how to broach the subject with him.

"It's ok that you don't want to kiss me. I promise you won't hurt my ego if you say so", he gave you a half smile, trying to reassure you.

"Noah, I'm 34 years old. Have I told you that?", you just came out with it. But his face remained the same.

"No, you haven't. Thanks for telling me, though. I'm 28, by the way", he told you, as if the information was completely irrelevant.

"I know, and that's the problem. I'm way too old to be kissing people your age", you saw his eyebrows furrow at this.

"Are you telling me you're too old to kiss me?", he asked and you nodded. "I'm a big boy, I think I can decide who I want to kiss", he informed you and you went to respond that it wasn't about that, but he beat you to it.

"No, listen to me", he closed the distance once again. "I'm attracted to you. You've been driving me insane with just your existence ever since you showed up on my doorstep, looking the cutest I've ever seen and asking me to turn down the music. I've literally not been able to get you out of my head. If you don't want to kiss me, that's fine, but that won't change the way I feel about you or the way I think about tasting your lips everytime I look at them"

"Noah, your life is very different from mine. One day, you're gonna find a 25 year old and realize she has so much more life in her than I do", you pointed out.

"That's impossible, because I've met many 25 year olds and none of them made me feel the way you do. I'm afraid this isn't an age thing, love, it's about how I so desperately want to stay in watching anime with you on Friday nights, show you places that I like, figure out what makes you tick and hear you complain about work to me at the end of the day"

You couldn't deny all those things souded amazing, and that you also wanted all of it with Noah.

"I'm afraid that if we do this, I might never get enough of you", you whispered to him.

"I might never get enough of you either. Good thing I have an infinite amount of kisses to give you"

The voice from the day in the garage, telling you to just enjoy this, came back in full force now, overpowering any other nagging thought that is sabotaging you and making you think that you can't have this. You can. You can enjoy your life and you can kiss the boy in front of you, who is pleading to be kissed.

So that's what you did, closing the distance between you, touching your lips to his, tentative at first. Noah was letting you set the pace of the kiss, and soon enough, your hand was on his hair and he used both of his to cup your face.

You couldn't imagine a word where you didn't get to kiss Noah Sebastian. His lips felt like heaven on yours, his hands so delicate on you, conveying all the emotions he talked about earlier. And you could feel every single one of them.

"Why don't you get some clothes from your house and we make good on the watching animes until late thing I told you about?", he asked you, lips still lightly pressed to yours, barely leaving space for the words to leave his mouth.

"I don't know, I think I live too far away", you joked, but you didn't want the night to end either. Other than kissing you for the first time, he also got to see your house for the first time that night, as you invited him in, grabbing a backpack and stuffing it with things you would need for the night. As you looked at him, sat on your bed, eyes looking over your room, you thought that you could get used to the sight of him in your house, your bedroom, your life.

Fun fact: the reader's car is a Cutlass because Son's of Anarchy is one my favorite series, and my queen Tara owns a Cutlass <3

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darkshelbyfiction · 1 year

Text

the debt paid

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Male Reader

Warning: Smut, Anal Sex, Dub-Con, Rough Handling,

Summary: You have a gambling debt and make a deal with Thomas Shelby for sexual favours.

The room was silent save for the rhythmic creaking of the old wooden floorboards beneath Thomas Shelby's boots as he paced back and forth. He knew exactly what to do, how to control every situation, and the way he moved about made you feel even more vulnerable than you already were.

His eyes bore into yours with such intensity, it seemed like they held you captive, unable to break free from their grasp. Even though he had complete control over you, there was something so unsettling about the power dynamic between the two of you, making your stomach churn.

"Are you ready to pay your debt?" His voice was cold and unforgiving, sending a shiver down your spine. You swallowed hard, feeling the weight of his eyes on you. It wasn't just about the payment; it was about losing any semblance of dignity and control you once had.

With trembling hands, you nodded slowly, steeling yourself for what was to come. He took a step closer, looming over you, making your heart race faster. There was no turning back now.

"Very well then. Bend over my fucking desk, eh," he commanded, his voice dark and low. His eyes burned with raw desire as you did as you were told, your heart thudding heavily in your chest. You felt shame and humiliation course through your veins as you assumed the position, barely able to suppress the tears gathering in your eyes. But it was too late; you couldn't go back now.

"I am not...I haven't done anything like this before Mr Shelby," you whispered, the words catching in your throat. "I don't know if I can." The air around you felt heavy with anticipation, making it difficult to breathe. Your whole body trembled, the thought of being violated by someone as powerful as him causing your knees to weaken. He stepped closer, his presence towering over you as he ran his calloused fingers along your shoulders, eliciting a small gasp from you.

"Don't worry, it will only hurt for a little bit, sweetheart," he said softly, his tone almost reassuring despite the sinister undertone.

"Now push down your pants for me and free up your ass," he continued in a commanding voice, his eyes glinting with lustful intent. The tremble in your voice betrayed your fear and uncertainty, but you complied, pushing your pants down, exposing your vulnerability.

Soon, you heard his belt buckle being undone followed by the sound of his zipper sliding down.

"Your virgin ass will be nice and tight around my cock,"

he murmured, his voice carrying a hint of triumph as he moved behind you.

Despite the growing knot of fear in your stomach, you tried to steel yourself against his words, trying to remain composed under the pressure.

"Just remember," he whispered, his breath tickling your ear, "This is nothing personal, and when we're done, you'll be free from your debt." His touch was firm yet gentle, making you realize that he was fully aware of your vulnerability.

"Now spread those ass cheeks for me," he commanded, his voice harsher than usual.

You obeyed, feeling your face flush with embarrassment as you braced yourself for what was coming. With shaky hands, you reached back and parted your cheeks, exposing yourself completely to him.

The smell of his cologne filled the room, a mixture of sweetness and musk that intensified the sensations coursing through your body. As you struggled to maintain composure, you felt the heat radiating off his skin as he moved closer, his hardened arousal pressing against your exposed bottom.

You could tell he was becoming increasingly excited, his breathing heavier with each passing moment. Your body trembled with anticipation, your mind racing with questions and fears.

"I won't use lubrication, so this might be slightly uncomfortable for you," he warned, his words sending a wave of panic through your body. But you knew you had no choice; this was the price you had to pay.

As you braced yourself for his entry, you could hear his labored breathing, his muscles flexing as he gripped your hips tightly.

"Relax, it'll be over soon," he muttered, his voice laced with determination.

You closed your eyes, trying to take comfort in his assurances, focusing on the steady beat of your heart as he pressed against you.

"Just hold nice and still for me," he murmured, his tone now laced with the edge of excitement. You nodded, your palms sweaty as you clutched at the cold desk, your legs quivering with anticipation.

"One last chance to change your mind," he offered, giving you one final opportunity to back out.

But you didn't hesitate; you had already made up your mind.

"No, I'm fine," you managed to say, your voice wavering slightly.

He nodded, taking this as confirmation to proceed.

With calculated force, he entered you, filling you in a single swift thrust. You screamed involuntarily, unable to suppress the shocked pain that shot through your body. You clenched your teeth, determined not to let your agony show.

"Sssh. Be quiet now," he whispered, his voice thick with desire. "Let me teach you how it feels to be properly taken by another man," he continued, his voice full of authority. You felt a mix of dread and curiosity at his words, but you dared not question him further. Instead, you focused on finding solace in the strength of his arms, which encircled you like iron bands, holding you securely against him.

As he began to move inside you, your mind wandered between discomfort and the overwhelming knowledge that this experience would soon be over. Each thrust sent waves of both pleasure and pain coursing through your body, leaving you confused and unsure of what to make of these feelings.

Tommy's grip on your hips grew firmer, guiding you through the motions, his breathing becoming heavier with each passing second.

"How does it feel, eh? Having another man's cock in your ass?" he asked, a hint of malice in his voice.

Your lips trembled as you attempted to answer, your body still adjusting to the foreign sensation.

"It hurts" you confessed, fighting the urge to squirm away from him. His fingers dug deeper into your hips, encouraging you to stay still as he picked up the pace.

"Bear with it, it'll get better," he assured you, his voice gruff and demanding.

"Despite, I am almost done with you," he added, his gaze intense as he penetrated you deeper.

"Think of this as a form of bonding," he continued, his tone almost patronizing. "Once it's over, we'll both feel much closer."

Your eyes widened at his suggestion, the implications of his words sending a chill down your spine. What kind of bond was he talking about?

With each thrust, the pain gradually lessened, replaced by a strange sense of familiarity as Tommy's movements became more fluid.

"Now are you going to take my cum like a good boy?" he growled, his voice low and threatening. His touch was rough and dominating, sending a thrill through your body despite the lingering discomfort.

"Yes, sir," you managed to reply, finding yourself caught up in the heat of the moment. The words tumbled out of your mouth, your submissiveness surprising even you. As you responded, you closed your eyes, attempting to block out the world around you, focusing solely on the sensations coursing through your body.

Each thrust sent waves of pleasure crashing through you, overpowering the initial pain.

The room echoed with your heavy breaths, your cries muffled by the wooden desk. His touch was firm, yet gentle, guiding you through the motions, each movement deliberate and controlled. His grip on your hips tightened, a subtle reminder of his dominance over you. As the sensations intensified, you couldn't help but wonder how far you had fallen.

The smell of leather bindings mixed with the scent of his cologne filled the air, an intoxicating blend that left you both lightheaded.

You were strangely aroused as Thomas Shelby pumped into your sore

rear end, the intensity building within you until you couldn't bear it any longer. You cried out, a fervent moan slipping past your lips. The sound seemed to fuel Thomas, whose strokes increased in speed and power.

A shiver ran down your spine as you surrendered yourself entirely to his control, letting go of whatever resistance remained. It wasn't just physical submission - there was something else happening here. Something deep inside you craved this release, and you couldn't quite understand why.

His rhythm grew steadily faster, matching yours perfectly until he announced his immanent release.

"That's it. Almost done. Fuck. I am going to cum right up that ass of yours, eh" he moaned, picking up his pace.

His strong arms wrapped protectively around you, drawing you close, securing you against him as the earthquake hit. And then he came. His guttural groans reverberated through your core, his body trembling in post-orgasm satisfaction. As his warm seed poured into you, you cried out again.

It burned like gasoline and the sheer thought of another man ejaculating inside of you

brought tears to your eyes, only adding to the humiliation. The pain and shame subsided slowly, the aftermath mixing together in a potent brew of confusion and disbelief. His arms held you snuggly to his side, his hand absently caressing your head while the other rested possessively on your hip.

Shivers raked across your flesh and you shuddered violently beneath him, seeking some sort of relief from the sudden invasion and invasion of intimacy.

He pulled out slowly, his breaths ragged as his semen trickled from your gaping hole. For a brief moment, you locked eyes with him, the understanding evident between you two. There was no going back now—the bond was sealed, regardless of whether either of you wanted it to be.

"You did well and, maybe next time, I will let you cum as well, eh?" Tommy said casually, removing himself from you. It was a bittersweet victory. On one hand, he had granted you a small measure of autonomy – perhaps he found your resilience somewhat endearing. Yet on the other, the fact that you needed permission to come served as a constant reminder of your position in relation to him.

Dazed and exhausted, you slid gingerly off the table, careful not to leave any trace of the events transpired. Your knees wobbly from a combination of fatigue and the aftereffects of being used sexually.

"There won't be another time, Mr Shelby," you stated defiantly, regaining some semblance of dignity as you stood before him.

"We shall see. You are addicted to gambling after all and it is just a matter of time until you are indebted to me again," said Tommy, the corner of his mouth lifting ever so slightly in a half smile.

#cillian murphy #cilliean murphy smut #peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #thomas shelby imagine #peaky blinder fanfic #thomas shelby #thomas shelby smut #tommy selby x reader #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby x you #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders fanfiction

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idlerin · 1 year

Text

nonsense — 29. helpless, breathless

“you’re sick,” you scolded as discreetly as you could as you passed by oikawa on your way to the tent. it was a barely noticeable phrase but you knew he heard. he’s not supposed to be wandering this area without someone assisting him, he caught your eye whilst marching on under the scorching heat as another feat of wonders of working in general— today was a bit different, the cast and crew had to go travel to a secluded beach two hours away from the city to film. oikawa’s worsening condition was even more evident in broad daylight and not in the confines of a studio, well, to you, since no one else has suspected a thing with how he looked perfectly fine objectively and how he acted completely normal, only people who truly knew him and his little ticks would notice.

you could feel his gaze on the back of your head and sense he started following after you, in case his shadow you spot in your peripheral vision wasn’t enough. you glance to the side to see everyone busy with setting up the set, but surely, there was someone who was going to be looking for oikawa. he most probably sneaked out of his van because his head ached too unbearably, and whenever he had a headache you remember he thought walking would help in easing the pain.

you let out a heaving breath as you balance the folders tucked in your arms, turning to the right the moment you were supposed to enter the tent, continuing on your trek through the white sand, far enough to be hidden behind a large rock. right then, you turn abruptly and huff at oikawa.

he was tucked in one of his hoodies, eyes wide with bleariness, the first thing he says is a lie, "i'm not sick."

it was so unconvincing you were offended that he would think that would work on you. he sees the look on your face and backtracks, looking to the side, at the ocean and juts his lower lip out like a child who didn’t want to give in but knows he's already caught so he didn’t really have any other choice, "okay… i'm not very sick."

you leered at him, and with firm determination, removed a hand on the folder you're clutching to place a hand on his forehead, “you’re burning!” you say with alarm.

oikawa finally looks at you, raises a brow, the corner of his lips turning up subtly, he had the gall to be amused by this and for what? “in your words, that’s excessi–”

you use the same hand that was previously on his forehead to slap his chest, half to scold him, half to shut him up, “have you had a check up with your doctor?"

“well, i.. uhm i didn’t have.. time," oikawa tucks his hood to cover himself more, wincing at the heat. his headaches are acting up again, you deduce.

"have you been eating?" you size him up, the entirety of his 6 foot 1 form slouching, like he was trying to make himself look more meek so you would go easier on him.

"uh ye-" oikawa and you lock eyes, you glare at him, he sighs, "i've been eating enough to not starve," he offers.

"so you haven't been eating enough," you seeth. before you could start scolding him again you hear voices starting to get near, your eyes widen a fraction before you hiss at him to go along first, begrudgingly.

oikawa looks back at you with hesitance before you nudge his shoulder for him to go before the both of you would get caught– but no, those aren’t the right words, it made it sound as if you two were doing something suspicious that you currently would not like to expand on, you were merely looking out for him as a.. as a concerned citizen.

after urging him away, you hear him talking to a few people, explaining how he wanted to see the view and wandered around, so these were the people looking for him. he managed to divert their attention to go back to the site, all while you thought you looked stupid hiding behind a big stupid rock. after a few minutes you came running back to the tent to deliver the files, apologizing about being late. you think they said that it was fine, you weren’t sure, since the response you were given was in the form of "hm" and pointing to where you should leave it.

you went to seek out akane, who was helping people out with the set because she finished her menial tasks earlier— at least until someone were to order her to do something. you offered to lend a hand and it wasn't your fault your gaze tended to wander to a certain brown haired stubborn ill person who was conversing with the director over you wouldn’t know what instead of getting as much rest as he can with the shooting not officially beginning.

you swear he wants to make you worry.

wait.

you didn't have to worry about him this much.

you groan internally.

but you do, and you really can't stop.

alright, you admitted to not hating him, a sad fact, and you did embarrassingly admit to missing him as well, let us point out that he said it first, so you could hardly blame yourself for responding. you were still unsure on what you wanted to do with your lingering feelings. what did you want? did you want him? did you still want to be with him?

ah.

you freeze in the middle of your shocking realization with thy self, eye twitching but eventually making yourself snap out of it at the expense of making everyone else think you were being weird, by everyone else you really meant akane, who was beside you and had a front row seat to your complicated emotions that really weren’t all that complicated but it feels as if it is.

having this little moment in the middle of bustling people really wasn’t convenient, oh god, you and your horrible timing. you can't help yourself and just stop looking at his direction, you should stop, so what if—

"oikawa-san!" a shrill startled voice snapped you out of your argument with yourself as you glance at the direction of the commotion, as with everyone who was within range. your eyes glance worriedly over to where oikawa was being helped up by his manager and a person who was near and within reach. you watch as oikawa tries to shake it off with laughter, telling everyone to continue with what they were doing. your hands flex on the box you were carrying, resisting the urge to go assist him. you can't do that, everybody would think it’s weird.

"are you alright, oikawa-san?" you heard someone ask. you go on with your work as with everybody else and let the few people there handle the situation.

you keep your ears open on their end though.

you hear oikawa's laughter, "i'm alright, just got a bit dizzy, perhaps it's too hot here?" he excuses, you walk away and didn't get to hear what the director, who was still there, and oikawa’s manager, said. you hope they're telling him to go and rest, they probably were, but oikawa was probably insisting that he was fine and more than ready to work.

"psst, why are you so distracted?" akane bumps your shoulder with hers. you blink a few times, a stuttered out 'what?' your only response.

"exactly! what's the matter with you today? you should be enjoying, it's fun to be out here for a change! it's so peaceful!" akane grins, emphasizing the 'out here' with her arms spread and pointing out the view, despite the many equipment placed in the secluded area. the peacefulness was the onslaught of people busily and methodically working.

"it's nothing, maybe i just lack a bit of sleep," you smile at her to keep her at bay.

akane just nods and crosses her arms, free from holding stuff, which reminds you to put what you were holding down, "hey, do you think oikawa-san is okay? the way he lost balance out there is kinda worrying you know?"

tell me about it. little did she know that's exactly what you were stressing about.

you watched behind one of your superiors as oikawa and another actor— kawashima moyashi, a rising actor on his own right— was acting out their scene. everyone was dead silent watching everything play out. it was already around four in the afternoon and the filming for the day was almost complete, according to your supervisor who was also very tired and couldn’t wait to go home early for once. the scene playing out had been repeated two times now because oikawa was dissatisfied with how he performed.

once the director yelled cut, oikawa immediately went out of character, “was that alright?”

the director agreed cheerily, enthusiastically saying, “perfect! i loved it, truly!” —wow you were watching the political hierarchy of filming in person— while the others were clearing the props.

oikawa finally smiled, relieved, and started walking over, his manager trailing behind him with oikawa’s water bottle and jacket.

you keep your eye on oikawa for a little while, only snapping out of it when akane tugs on your arm, saying you guys should head to where akane parked her car— she gave you a ride here. akane pulls on your wrist, eventually when you get a hold of yourself you say, "yeah, yes, okay let's go."

meanwhile, the director talked about oikawa’s further projects and if it was going to interfere with the filming schedule, oikawa reassured him it would be fine, but then the director said no, he was asking so to make the filming schedules suitable for him. oikawa’s manager cut in, saying that oikawa needed to get ready for another shoot this evening and that they had to hurry.

"have you been taking your migraine pills?" his manager asked when they were a bit far away from everyone, on the way to his van. oikawa had a hand clutching his head again which was why he asked if he was taking his pills, the migraines weren’t a new thing after all.

"yes," oikawa replies, keeping it to himself that it wasn’t just a migraine. he can't rest now, he still has a lot to do.

"let's take a break before we go to the shoot. where would you like to go, oikawa?" his manager asked once they were nearing the vehicle.

"i…" oikawa had to stop walking for a second. his face scrunched in pain, he had to press his other hand to his forehead to help in easing the pain. he only needed to get in the van, why won't his body just cooperate?

"oikawa?" he hears the voice of sato, who seemed more distant than before.

"i'm fi— shit," oikawa leans back on the sleek cover of his van, breathing heavily. "i just need—" swallowing a deep breath, "—a break."

"oikawa perhaps we should…"

his manager was talking but oikawa couldn't understand most of what sato was saying. it was too hot. was he the only one feeling as if it's too hot? but at the same time, it was cold. he was sweating. his hair was rising because of the cold—heat. his chest felt restricted, finding it a bit difficult to breathe. but it's fine, it was going to be fine. sato said they can take a break, oikawa thinks that would be nice. he just needed to close his eyes for a moment and they could get going. he pushes himself off the van and starts, "let's go—"

oikawa falls to his knees. fuck.

"tooru!"

that wasn't sato.

hands were on his shoulders, firm but gentle, "you're so stupid."

[name].

were you being impulsive? yes, absolutely. were you going to regret this later on? also a yes, most probably.

you were talking to akane, fiddling with your phone to pass time because riseki was going to be tagging along but he was finishing some things up back in the site and you both opted waiting for him, but not without being a little mean and chatting in the group chat that you guys were going to leave him behind. that was when your eyes wandered to where oikawa was walking with his manager. you jerked away from your idle position when he leant on his car quite abruptly. you completely leave your post when you watch as his legs go numb.

it was foolish. definitely, his manager was right there, he was going to be fine without you to rush to his side. it was foolish, but now you were kneeling beside him, your hands were clutching his shoulders and you were very frantic.

"don't you dare pass out!" you were angry, biting your lower lip furiously. one of your hands reached up to brush his hair away from his face because you noticed that he was sweating a lot.

"[n/n]," he calls out weakly, and yet the way he said his nickname for you made your mind swirl, "you were right," he breathes heavily, "i am sick."

"are you trying to be funny right no—" you were huffing out, exasperated.

"let's get him home, i'll call his physician," you forgot his manager was here. you looked up at the guy, it wasn't the first time you've seen him, it wasn't the first time he's seen you. though you do have a hard time recalling people's names, was his… sa.. sa something.

"okay.." you say, rising from your position on the ground and lifting oikawa up with the help of mr. sa-something. oikawa's manager opens the door to the van and you urge oikawa inside while he could still move.

once you were satisfied that oikawa was sitting and assured yourself he was going to be fine, you attempted to move your hands away, and you had to go back to akane of course. akane who's seeing everything unfolding right now. you dread the latter that comes and you were going to have a lot of explaining to do.

oikawa grabs a hold of your wrists, eyes fluttering open, "where are you going?" he was blinking furiously, still battling with his head, and he was obviously frowning.

"i have to.. " you begin and the disappointment was evident on his face, cursing you and your tendency to go weak for him, "well maybe i.."

"you should come with him," his manager makes the decision for you. you lock eyes with him and he looks away, "he's going to need someone other than me to help."

to you, he sounded the most sensible, clearly, that was why you were going in the van.

you make one look back to where akane was, and your eyes lock on hers and riseki's, great, more people. you blinked twice, they blinked back, before your view was blocked with oikawa's manager slamming the door shut.

oikawa didn't let go of your hand even for one moment.

even when you dragged him to his bedroom, across the lavish floors of his penthouse, which made it quite a difficult task since his bedroom was upstairs. even when his physician came in, looking haggard since you assume they had rushed to go here when oikawa's manager called, they didn't forget to give you a quick nod of acknowledgement, before going to oikawa's side and asking him questions. even when he eventually drifted off to sleep.

he was acting like a kid, the last time he got sick, you could vaguely remember him being childish too. it was kind of… nice to know that he didn't change that much.

"[name]-san, can you watch oikawa for a bit, at least before i come back? i have to talk to the coordinators of the shoot oikawa was supposed to do this evening and ask them to reschedule," his manager said, already gathering his things.

oikawa’s physician was in the corner, finishing writing stuff down, "sato, get him these medications while you're at it," his physician handed him the prescriptions, "make sure he takes them for a week, his fever is high, you should've called me sooner."

sato— you've finally gotten his name! you knew it started with sa— nodded, and turned back to face you, "sorry for making you do this favor, i know it might be a bit.. awkward."

"it's alright," you say, and look down at your hand that oikawa had a fierce grip on, "i don't think i could go even if i wanted to," you attempted to joke to lighten the mood.

oikawa's manager let out a small smile before nodding to you and leaving, the physician also waved to you before following out. it didn't take long before you were alone with tooru. with him like this, it was easy to feel… well, easy. you were thinking of what to make him for dinner, he needed to eat something as much as he needed to rest. even just some soup would be good— but a meal would probably be best. but first, you have to make him let go of you.

you first attempt the most rational thing, which is pulling your hand away, but that makes his lids open, and now he was staring at you, "are you leaving?" he says after a few seconds of merely looking at each other.

"i'm not," you say, though not very convincingly, which is probably why he won’t let you go.

"you were pulling away," he says, and it sounded like a complaint.

"i was just planning to go and—"

"so you were planning to leave," to show just how displeased he was, he made a move to interlock your hands. was he losing his reasoning because he was sick? at this, you roll your eyes.

"i was just going to make you some food to eat, i’ll be right back,” you were trying to subtly shake your hand away, “go back to sleep," you say.

he tightens his hold, scrutinizing you, "you promise?"

you blink, did he really want to do this right now? he wasn't faltering, even if you knew he wanted to shut his eyes closed. he was really selling the act of a child, even more because of the cloth on his forehead.

"i promise," you say with finality, when he deemed you sincere enough, he reluctantly let go of your hand. it made you smile damn it. because he was being good, you hold his hand and draw little circles on his palm to make him sleepy, "go back to sleep," like your voice had incredible powers, he drifted off to sleep again.

you let go of him and went down to check his fridge to see what you were going to have to be working with. he thankfully had a storage of a healthy variety of food— though he kind of has to because of his profession— so it was easy to prepare his meal. you did have to go down to the grocery store beside his building once to buy some vegetables oikawa was running out of.

an hour passed by and you were heading back to oikawa's room, tray in hand with a bowl of the food you prepared and some water. you open the door as silent as you could, the door creaked anyways. you glimpse at oikawa to see that he was still asleep, you place the tray down on his bedside table and instead grab the cloth placed on his head to replace it with a new one.

you were in the middle of fixing it on his forehead when he grasps your wrist, it was like he sensed whenever you were attempting to do anything to him and automatically had to wake up just to see you.

"you stayed," oikawa says, voice groggy.

"i told you i was just going to prepare you food," you say, leaning back to have a proper conversation with him, "i was planning to make you sleep some more before waking you to eat, but since you're already awake you might as well eat now. your manager still hasn't come back with your medicine so you better replenish your energy. why do you overwork so much? don't you have a say with how much work you take on? you do, don't you? but you probably think 'a few wouldn't be overkill, and it establishes my fame' without any regards about your health. what i'm saying is, take care of yourself and stuff," you huff.

oikawa reaches for your hand and gently makes it so that you cup his face, he closes his eyes for a moment, relishing in the heat that radiates off of you, "mhm, care for me more."

"you're enjoying this?" your brows furrow.

"you're giving me a lot of attention, so yeah," oikawa murmurs, his eyes still closed.

you felt your cheeks turn warm, "you have to eat."

"later," oikawa sighs when you brush your thumb over his eyelids.

"no," you take your touch away, much to oikawa's dismay. you make your way to grab a chair and place it on the other side of his bed, you take the tray and place it on your lap while oikawa watches you the whole time.

he then says the oddest thing.

"feed me?" it wasn't a question, it was more of a request.

"you look like you're well enough, you're even making demands," you snark, because of course you had to.

"no.. i'm still feeling very awful.. my head still hurts and my throat is starting to get sore, and my hand kind of hurts so you have to feed me," oikawa was being dramatic by the end, he knew it, you knew it, and yet you couldn't resist a small smile to adorn your face. you couldn't help but be overcome with relief too, since if he could be ridiculous then he was better now because he got some rest.

"you're acting like a kid," you say but you were already gathering a spoonful of food and taking it to his lips. oikawa was a very willing recipient.

"do you hate it?" oikawa asks, trying to catch your gaze but you were actively avoiding meeting eyes with him and much preferred to just look at the food, and to his lips, oh but looking at his lips was a bad idea, so you focus on looking at the spoon instead.

"yes," you say without much bite, continuing your notions of feeding him.

"you hate me?" oikawa asks again, as if he needed a lot more reassurance.

"i do," you answer, because you were a menace.

"you said you didn't."

"i'm taking it back."

a comfortable silence goes over you two, with you continuing with your ministrations, peacefully feeding him the food. while oikawa was admiring you, in disbelief again that you were really here in front of him. that you stayed with him. that he couldn't help but say words that made you freeze on the spot.

"can you take me back too?"

your eyes widen and you finally look at him, "what?"

"if you still want me, can you give me another chance?" oikawa waited with a baited breath for your response, his heart was pounding and he felt breathless, and it wasn't because he had a fever. it was because you were breathtaking, your presence was breathtaking, and he didn't know if he could last without the comfort of knowing he had the right to look at you and feel like this.

“[name],” he says your name in that way again. the one that makes your insides feel wonky and you can’t believe it, he’s so.. he is so.. he makes you want to scream. your eyes were feeling warm, you didn’t mean to, but perhaps with this morning and what was happening now and just—

"are you not just saying nonsense because you're sick," you blink furiously, trying to hold back the frustrated tears. your hands were shaky as you placed the utensils in the bowl and you were placing the tray back to the side.

oikawa lifts himself up more from the bed and reaches over to your hands, to stop the shaking or just because you don’t know. he was looking at you, asking to hold you, you let him. he could see your watery eyes and he was holding your hands so gently it made you want to stand up, turn around and run away, but you don’t.

"no..” oikawa made sure he was clear, “i want to be with you again, [name], if you'd take me back. by taking me back, i don’t mean i’d immediately be your boyfriend again, i want to prove to you that i deserve you. besides, with or without a label, i’m yours."

he was waiting for your response. you swallow back your tears, emotional, you’ve always been. oikawa made soothing circles on the back of your hand, mirror to the one you were doing to his earlier. while you sat there and tried to process everything, everything that happened, about how he made you feel— how he makes you feel, the good, the bad, and everything in between. you were thinking about everything you went through with him, everything you went through because of him.

oikawa was never going to just be someone you knew.

he was always going to be something more.

he was everything.

do you want to let him be everything to you again?

“i won’t make it easy for you.”

masterlist — previous | next

✦ fun facts !

ever since [name] was caught viewing and liking oikawa’s tweets she’s been using her priv account to view oikawa related tweets lmao

oikawa has tried to crochet once and he tried to make a frog, keyword, tried, and it ended up looking like a dead squashed cockroach.

nonsense ! an oikawa tooru social media au

synopsis. you were oikawa tooru’s #1 fan, until you became his #1 hater. you hated him so much you went viral on twitter (accidentally) and literally became known as “the oikawa tooru hater”, doesn’t help that he keeps fueling the fire by subtweeting you. everyone is all in for this new drama. what isn’t known to the public, is that this particular drama’s been on hold for three years (him being your ex and all).

a/n — GUYS HI hehehe (acts like i didnt ud for a month) anw i swear theres no like angsty angst ANYWAYS GROVELING ERA

taglist is closed ! + (1/2) @kawaii-angelanne @ceneridiankaa @kittycasie @rukia-uchiha-98 @polish-cereal @kellesvt @rockleeisbaeeee @kashxyou @imsoluvly @jjulliette @tooruchiiscribs @littlefreakjulia @gomjohs @qualitygiantshoepsychic @mellowknightcolorfarm @konzumeken @migosple @kuroogguk @sangwooooo @katsu-shi @wolffmaiden @rijhi @2baddies-1porsche @yeehawcity @aishkaaa @crueldinasty @renardiererin @yyuiz @llamakenma @penguinlovestowrite @princelingperfect @hearts4faey @yoonabeo @pantherhappy @julia-1901 @godsbiggestmenace @angel-luv-04 @noideawhothatis @bethbat @natsvmie @luna-mothii @lylovw @apinu @leave-rae-alone @kamikokii @bananasquash @eitaababe @minimari415 @hanabihwa @nilopillo

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bairdthereader · 4 months

Text

Time to pay homage to the Spring Queen, Tori.

[This is a long one, folks. I have lots of feelings. Sorry, not sorry! TLDR can just look at the gifs for the gist of the story.]

Having read Solitaire, This Winter, and Nick and Charlie in addition to Heartstopper, my thoughts on Tori and how she's portrayed in the show are a bit difficult to organize and express. Since we don't get her backstory in the show (yet), we see her exclusively engaging with Charlie's story; this leaves out a lot of her depth and complexity, or at least leaves it to the viewer to piece together. BUT . . .

The specific ways she goes about protecting Charlie say so much about her.

It's established from their first on-screen interaction that Charlie feels safe with Tori, both to be himself and to confide in her that he's ended his pseudo relationship with Ben, a relationship no one else knows about at this point. Tori automatically assumes the fault was with Ben, which is not only peak awesome older sister behavior, but a cue to Charlie that she knows him well enough to trust that he was not only not the offending party, but that the breakup was a very positive move for him. She's affirming and bolstering Charlie without any platitudes or unsolicited advice, a sign of her care and respect for him, as well as her understanding of him and his needs.

In Solitaire, Tori explains that she rides the bus with Charlie when he's dealing with particularly bad mental health struggles, which puts the scene toward the end of S1E7 in a slightly different perspective. She knows that something is deeply wrong, but also that Charlie isn't ready to talk about it. She keeps an earbud out just in case, but doesn't pressure him in any way, another sign of respect and silent support.

And of course the moment when Charlie is desperately vulnerable, scared, admitting his darkest thoughts to her, when she realizes for the first time (in the show timeline) just how deep the pain goes, she takes it seriously. She knows what it could mean. Though we as viewers haven't seen it yet, Tori knows her own version of this particular darkness and recognizes it in Charlie. She grounds him with firm, safe, physical touch and a truth that only she can give--which makes it the truest kind of truth, a bedrock truth for Charlie to stand on--that he is valuable to her and vital to her life.

After Charlie tells his parents about his relationship with Nick (with fairly negative results, but that's a whole other post), Tori's concern for Charlie is immediate. Not only does she remember how terrible the bullying Charlie experienced was, but she also knows how fragile his newfound happiness really is. Charlie misinterprets her question--whether intentionally or not I think might be up for debate--and assumes that her concern is mainly for Nick, asserting that he can protect Nick. Tori knows that Charlie will need that protection as well, maybe more, but also respects his choice to view the situation in this way. [Side note: respect is like Tori's secret love language; she doesn't give it very willingly.]

"Look after him or you die" seems funny, but Tori is dead serious. Her later accusation that Nick doesn't keep his promises feels harsh at first, and he doesn't really deserve it, but we have to see it for what it is. Tori is trusting Nick with a responsibility that she usually puts on herself, and she doesn't take it lightly; very few people can care for Charlie the way Tori does, and to her, failure to do so is indefensible. Nick's failing her test in this moment, though she's a complete enough person to recognize that it's a momentary lapse and trusts Nick with Charlie later in the story.

And of course there's the infamous Nelson dinner party, where Tori does in reality what we ALL want to do in spirit and knocks David down several pegs. She sees in him exactly the kind of person who bullied Charlie and made his life miserable, and she's not about to let it happen right in front of her. No real commentary here, just a deep appreciation for Tori's sisterly rage and complete disgust with David.

And then there's this:

Oh, season 3 Tori is going to be something to behold. I absolutely cannot wait. All hail the queen.

#victoria spring is a whole universe #objective: defend charlie #method: scorched earth take no prisoners #heartstopper #heartstopper netflix #heartstopper series #tori spring #victoria spring #jenny walser #alice oseman #osemanverse #charlie spring #nick nelson #narlie #nick x charlie #nick and charlie #joe locke #kit connor #solitaire alice oseman

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suzyandthefox · 4 months

Text

Golden King

Help I'm running out of motivation and ideas

Anyway, Soft safe Sfw M/M G/t vore story, Unwilling prey.

Tag list: @pineappleparfaitie

Tailor has served the Golden king for as long as he knows, he had always looked upon the golden titan with admiration, more than admiration,even.

But the problem was, he was a small,frail human, who barely does anything of importance without collapsing, and He,The Golden King,Midas, was a titan.

A behemoth of sixty feet, who, despite being generous and gentle with Tailor,has never appeared to be truly… present in the moment.

Poor Tailor assumed that His highness, Midas, had so many things on his mind, the last thing he would care about was an insignificant being like himself.

It was even more accentuated by the fact that he never saw what's underneath his golden armour, save for the occasional glimpse of two pools of gold that he feared to look at, no matter how inviting they were,in fear of being swallowed by their beauty, and forgetting whom they belonged to.

However, all of this changed one fateful night.

=============

Ever since the Cursed King has met Tailor, he has made the human his -he would say servant, but the rest of those in his domain only saw a pet-

It wasn't out of pity, quite the opposite, he loved the boy, he loved him in the way a king loves his servant, and in the way a father loves his son, and in-between these two was a special kind of love he could not name, but it made for the desire to protect the little one from anything and everything.

So from then on,Tailor has always been by the side of the king, in the literal sense, for the boy has not known a moment without Midas in his vicinity, holding him in the palm of his gold-coated hand or on his shoulder, and when Midas does leave him, if even for a few moments, he becomes filled with great distress, and the crushing weight of dread and vulnerability.

That night, it was one of these moments.

The boy’s legs could not carry him, as if he was going to collapse at any moment, exhaustion eating at his frail body.

And yet, he refused even the idea of leaving his king, insisting that he could still be of use, that the fatigue was only a mere hindrance.

“Rest.” Midas ordered, as gently as a father would order his son, but it still had the firmness that proved he was king.

“I can't rest when you haven't rested yourself, your highness.”

“Boy, you would be the first to know there's no rest for me.”

“Exactly, your highness”

The Cursed King sighed deeply, and contemplated his next words, he knew how distressed -frightened even- the boy felt when he wasn't around, and he also knew that he had to choose his words carefully, or else he would cause even more fear within Tailor.

Words be damned then, if Tailor wouldn't rest by demand,then he would rest by force.

He narrowed his eyes and thought for a moment if what he was going to do was the right choice, it made sense in his mind, but it was the execution and the consequences of said action that made him hesitate for a second.

His hand rested idly on his armored torso as he thought a bit more about the idea of swallowing his small servant whole.

Meanwhile, the servant was equal parts confused and worried about his master's sudden silence. His highness was thinking for sure, but about what? What it is that made him silent all of a sudden?

“Tailor”

The sudden calling of his name shocked him.

“I order you to go to your own bed and rest there, and if you dare disobey…”

“I will have to take drastic measures.”

Tailor swallowed, Midas was… threatening him? He who was always obedient and never dared to defy? But after a moment he realized, yes, this is what he gets for daring to defy the Golden King, and between his desire to stay by Midas’ side, and to be the good servant he was always meant to be, he chose to defy.

“I'm sorry… I'm so very very sorry…” The boy said between bated breaths.

“But no, I have to disobey you this one time, I don't have it in me to leave your side…”

Midas narrowed his eyes again, and even if the helmet had obscured his face, Tailor could just feel the anger forming underneath it.

“You have left me no choice then.”

In a quick but careful motion, Midas plucked the boy in a firm grip, and brought him close to his face.

He waited another moment, for it was the first time he observed Tailor from such a close distance.

The boy was a frail,soft thing. Big, frightful eyes staring into his own and welling with tears, and now that he held him in his hand and looked at him with all attention, he realized just how small he was.

It felt even more right to devour the sweet little thing, to swallow him whole and make him his own, whether that was his instincts as a Titan or a dark desire that he only acknowledged now, he did not know.

“Your …highness?”

It was too late to go back.

He winced when he heard the faint sobs, but still brought Tailor to his mouth, despite the protests and the begging.

He made it as quick as it could be, constantly reminding himself that it was Tailor that he is swallowing whole, and it was for a good cause.

He had not spent a moment tasting the human, instead he went with it as if he was swallowing a pill, despite his instincts screaming at him to do the opposite.

It scared him, how easy it was, how natural it felt, to be doing this, like he was always meant to do this, barely a single swallow and the poor little thing vanished.

He couldn't help but rest his now empty hand on his abdomen, as if he wanted to feel Tailor within his depths-No, it was as if he feared that he will lose the boy inside him and be unable to sense him.

But the feelings of fear and sorrow that stirred in his heart, feelings that weren't his own, has proved to him that the boy was still alive and awake.

He sighed again, as to adjust himself mentally to the reality of what he had just done.

He should be up and going now, but he couldn't move until he was fully sure that Tailor was completely safe and trusting of the new environment, or at least until he was trusting enough to rest in there.

=============

Tailor was sure this is the end.

He knew there was going to be consequences to his disobedience, but as soon as he was held like that , he wasn't sure if he was ready anymore.

For the first time in his life he found the courage to stare directly at the King’s golden eyes, and a wave of awe washed over him as he saw his own reflection in Midas' eyes.

Everything soon turned into a horrible nightmare as he realized what was going to happen, he broke into tears as the titan’s warm breath sent shivers down his spine.

He closed his eyes and tried to deny what is happening to him, but it was far too much for him to ignore.

Tailor couldn't take it, and he sobbed in pain, not even able to find the strength in himself to fight against the titan’s overwhelming strength, so he let himself be carried to the final destination.

It, at first,felt like it lasted forever, and in that forever, Tailor had went deep in thoughts, a thousand why’s came to him.

Soft, slick flesh held him in the strangest type of embrace, and yet Tailor was far too lost in his own mind, why has His Highness done this? And if the intention was to devour all along, Why not earlier? Why have he not chewed, and opted to swallow his frail form whole instead?

The long journey ended faster than he thought, when he felt himself slip into a larger room, and finally he could breathe and move his limbs.

Between his fear, sorrow, and the tiniest bit of curiosity, Tailor was completely lost, both mentally and physically.

He felt that the innards of the titan were a maze, so he chose to stay where he is, where His Highness would want him to be, as a good little morsel.

He couldn't stop crying, however, and he constantly mumbled “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm very sorry…” over and over, as he shivered weakly.

=============

Midas bit at his lip, deep guilt clawing at his heart, he couldn't handle Tailor’s crying in normal circumstances, and now he was the very reason he was crying.

He wished there was an easier way, but he reminded himself that it was all for a good cause, and that his own body was the safest place on earth when he made his mind to it.

“Little one…” He first spoke in a whisper, fearing that he may be too loud for the boy deep within him.

But he soon realised that the latter was not listening to him.

He repeated, but only received frightful, regretful mumbles.

“Tailor!” He finally demanded, and as if the boy wasn't small enough, he shrunk in size, which caused Midas to feel even more protective of him.

“Y…Yes, Your highness?”

Midas took a deep breath, and gently spoke:

“Look around you, child, and listen, do you truly know where are you?”

Tailor listened as Midas ordered him to, he heard a powerful heart, steadily beating, every single beat shook him to his core.

He heard the breathing, now hitched and shallower than it was as it reflected Midas' emotions at that moment.

Tailor wanted to speak, but whatever he was going to say wasn't important at that moment.

“You are within me,closer than any being could ever be, safe and hidden within an impenetrable fortress of gold.”

“And you have always known, little one, I have never hurt you, I never will, and tonight is no exception.”

The servant was even more confused, yes, he always trusted his master, but how in the world is being eaten alive safe?! And if Midas' intention wasn't to hurt him, then what was it?

“It's… not a punishment?”

“Because I… Disobeyed you?” The boy squeaked.

“Well, it's both a punishment and a reward.”

“You have been stubborn as a bull, you weren't going to be convinced to go to your chambers, and I knew you will refuse to leave my side, I had to keep you close somehow, while also giving you somewhere to rest,”

“It made sense to me then that I carry you in my stomach, for you will both be with me and within a safe, comfortable place”

“I…apologize for putting you through such an experience, I should have warned you about what I was going to do first, but…”

“I may have been eager, desperate,or impatient.” Midas finished, and got up to walk to his own chamber.

“You are dear to me,Tailor, the dearest. For you to be here right now, under my heart and within my ribcage, for me to hold you not unlike how a mother holds her child, it's a testament of my love for you, and how important you are to me.”

“It's something only I can only give to you, and only you can receive from me.”

His eyes teared as he said these words, for he only now realised how much he cherished the human, and yet never took the time to tell him that, or to tell him anything besides demands.

Meanwhile, Tailor began to acquaint himself with the new environment as he attentively listened to Midas.

He placed his hands on the soft inner walls of the stomach, reassuring himself that it was, as Midas said,safe.

That he himself was safe and sound.

He let out an understanding hum as he adjusted himself, now laying on his back instead of curling into a small ball.

But it was when Midas drew the comparison between himself and a mother, that Tailor couldn't control his tears and began sobbing again.

“No… Boy, what made you cry again?” His Highness asked with worry.

“It's just… You have been my family, your highness, before I met you, I never felt loved by anyone…”

“But it all changed when I met you, even when you haven't told me that you cared for me,I knew that you did…”

“And now…now that I'm here, with you, within you, I just…”

“I don't deserve any of this…”

The boy said as he turned to the walls and hugged them.

“But it already happened, Boy…”

“You may as well cherish it while it lasts” Midas said, in an uncharacteristic, tender tone that made the boy heavily blush.

“Yes, Your highness… And thank you.”

“Now rest as I told you, I shall let you out in the morning.”

“Yes…Your highness…”

Tailor wiped his tears, the darkness and humidity of the area around him made him realize just how exhausted he is, it was impossible to resist the gentle lulling of the organ.

“This is between us,Got it, Little one?” There was the slightest hint of playfulness in his voice, which made the servant giggle.

“Got it.” Indeed, this was their little, special secret.

#g/t vore #sfw vore #vore writing #safe vore #soft vore #vore story #e a/t #swwh #nsx vore

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enhastolemyheart · 1 year

Text

ℂ𝕌ℙ𝕀𝔻 — SIM JAEYUN

PAIRING | bsf!Jake x reader (fem implied)

GENRE | fluff, f2l

SYNOPSIS | This summer, you and your best friend Jake planned activities every Saturday. Being his turn, he picked archery, but it was actually his plan to do something you never expected.

WARNINGS | profanity, kissing, jake being a tease, playing a sport(?), proofread but lmk if any mistakes.

WORD COUNT | 1.5k+

A/N | hey everyone!! I decided to write a Jake fic cause I haven't written one yet. Also cause the latest ep Jake jus pulled at my heartstrings. I wanna say thank you so much for 50 followers!! Here's a little 'thank you' gift 🫶. Reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated!! Enjoy reading!!

"Why are we doing this again?"

"Because my y/n, we did what you wanted last Saturday, and now it is my turn." He briefly glances at you, putting the car in park and turning off the engine. He gets out and opens the door for you. After you get out, you both make your way to the field that Jake, your best friend, rented for 6 hours.

This summer, you both actually planned to do activities that interests the other person every Saturday. Last week you both baked which was your choice. You made brownies which actually came out good, and you had them while marathon-ing a thriller series.

And for this week, he decided to do something related to the great outdoors. He's not going to lie, he initially thought hiking would suffice his idea but you for one, are not a hiker. You mean, you wouldn't mind hiking but you're incompetent at the sport.

So he decided to take the easier route for you and chose archery. You were actually interested. You took archery classes for a few months before the pandemic. But you had forgotten everything you learned. And now you were nervous to play, 'cause Jake was exceptionally good at archery.

You both make your way to the storage area where the archery and other equipment is situated. It was spontaneously windy and gloomy today. And the wind, as expected, is very cold. You fold your palms in front of you and try to blow some air into it. He looks at you before snickering, "cold?"

You hum and Jake shakes his head with a stern playful face on, "I told you that you should always wear gloves. We don't want your hands to freeze to death, do we? Whose hands am I going to hold if that happens hmm?" You mutter whatever under your breath despite your cheek feeling very hot, if he notices you were going to simply blame it on the strong weather. He scoffs before taking your hands in his, fingers interlaced, swinging it slightly between you both. You get the equipment needed like the bows and arrows (of course) stands for the target boards and then said targets.

You request to do a practice round first and your best friend obliges. When you see him shoot, you couldn't help but admire the way he focuses and plays the sport. His standee was jus like a professional, hands having a firm grip on the bow and arrow, elbow stiff and locked. You couldn't help but look at him in awe when he scores a 9. You also don't fail to notice the smug smirk plastered on his face, tongue sticking out just a bit. He punches the air before turning to you.

"Why don't you try now y/n?"

You give him a small nod before taking his position facing towards the target in the right stance. When you try and shoot, the power wasn't strong enough and the arrow only flies a few metres away from you. You place you head in your hands at the embarrassment, ear most likely tinted. He just giggle giddy-ly before coming closer to you, "let me help you, you're not shooting the right way."

He drops his bow on the ground before stepping behind you. "May I touch you, y/n?" Goosebumps run throughout your body. His voice was very close to your ears, indicating that he is standing very very close to you. You give him the green light and he plants his hands on the sides of your waist before twisting it gently to the right position, doing the same with your footing. You tells you aim the arrow at the target, pulling the string and keeping it there. He then adjusts your elbow. Your breath hitches as you feel his fingertips on your skin, feeling it's burning everywhere he touches.

After your position is set, you shoot and score a 7. Not bad for a beginner right? Jake immediately smiles even wider before giving you a high five. You giggle at him getting so hyped over you. You place a bet on whoever loses has to pay for dinner next time you have it together.

Time passes and you guys play head to head. Jake ends up ultimately winning, not that it surprised but it did In a way. You could just watch him play archery all day and all night.

He runs away from the target, punching the air in victory. You couldn't help but laugh at his antics, his competitive spirit showing. He runs to you and flicks your forehead, causing you to growl at him, "you are buying me korean BBQ next time." His face defines the definition of smirks and smugness and it's just everywhere you don't know how to escape it.

"I'm tired Jake, let's lay on the grass." He agrees with a smile. You make your way to the centre of the field, laying side by side on your backs. Jake has one hand under his head for support and the other resting on his side. You have both hands interlaced and placed on your tummy.

You stay like that for what feels like an eternity. Your mind keeps going to the thought of how your life would be if Jake was yours. How you wake up next to him every morning and sleep next to him every night. How cooking together would feel like, focusing on making the food right but still goofing around. How shopping with him will be, being a fashionable ace, you know that whatever outfit he picks for you would make you feel very pretty and confident. You desire to do all the domestic things with him. How kissing him would feel, considering he somehow symbolises the looks of Adonis, the way he can simply make your ears burn and heart flutter within a millisecond. He knows the effect he has on you and he uses it to his advantage, unbeknown to you.

"You know I have to tell you something." Jake breaks the silence. You turn to your side facing him propping on your elbow "oh yeah? What is it?"

He reciprocates your posture before clearing his throat, "Whatever I'm about to tell you right now is something that I've been thinking about for a long time. And a long time being since freshman year.

Y/n, I like you. I like you alot. The way you light up at the smallest things that excite you. The way your eyes glisten when you talk about something you're passionate about," He takes your hand in his and rubs his thumb over your knuckles. "When we were playing truth or dare with a bunch of random ass people and you picked truth one time, you talked about how a perfect confession would go. You said that when you get confessed, it would should be just you and the person. And that he should take his time ranting about why they want you and why a relationship would be a good choice.

I kept thinking about that little moment ever since it happened, and it icked me to confess to you sooner and I wish I did; but the fear of losing you even as a friend scared me," He leans in closer to your face, "I want you y/n. I want you to be there with me when I wake and sleep, cook with, learn together, to grow together, only you and me. Me and you. You're my favourite person y/n, I love you my y/n not just 'like', please my y/n, will be my girlfriend?"

Tears prickle your eyes as you watch him finish something he wanted to say to you for a LONG time now. Jake gets scared at tour lack of your response and he starts to panic, "Of course y/n, you don't have to say yes, or take how much time you want before you decide to answer. I will understand if you don't even want be friends after this but please know that—"

You were too impatient as he kept rambling on and pulled him for a kiss. He freezes before you but then when his mind alerts him that you are kissing him, he immediately closes his eyes but the second he is able to kiss back, you pull away. "I love you too, you idiot. What took you so long, hmm?" You swat at his chest and he just chuckles, swooping in to kiss you. You put a hand on the side of his neck and his slides to the side of your waist, pulling you in even closer as if the proximity right now isn't enough.

"Fuck y/n I love you so fucking much." He says as he pulls away, lips still lingering. You giggle and tell him that you love him too. It was like he was his own cupid to your heart, archery being the arrows. He leans is gives another peck, causing to smile brightly, resulting in him smiling like you do.

"Round two of archery?" You question as you sit up and look at him. He just looks like a happy puppy when you state the offer.

"Hell yeah! Get ready to lose my y/n!"

A/N | thank you sm for reading!! It means alot to me!! Reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated!! Please do feel free to share ideas if you'd like. Requests are open and so is the taglist!! Thank you again for reading, and I'll see you in the next one!

PEACE AND LOVE <333

perm taglist: @jak-ey ; @wanna-live-yn-life ; @snoowhore ; @hsheart ; @hsgwrld (bold can't be tagged; send an ask to be added)

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kckt88 · 5 months

Text

Here With Me II.

Summary:

Aemond deals with the reappearance of Alys.

Warning(s): Alys, Language, Angst, Drama, Kissing, Allusion to Smut.

AEMOND TARGARYEN x O.C BILLIE SKYLARK

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Word Count: 3000

Tag List - @zenka69, @0eessirk8, @dixie-elocin, @wickedfrsgrl, @immyowndefender

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated.

Aemond's heart sank as he took in the scene before him, his mind going back and forth between disbelief and rage. "Alys," he said, his voice tinged with incredulity. "What are you doing here?"

Alys' eyes narrowed as she met his gaze, a calculating smile playing at the corners of her lips. "I came to see you, Aemond, to tell you-" she replied smoothly, her voice honeyed with false sincerity.

Aemond's stomach churned with unease as he realized what Alys was implying. "-No," he said firmly, his voice trembling with anger and disbelief. "That's not possible."

But Alys merely laughed "Oh, but it is, Aemond-" she insisted, her tone dripping with scorn. "This child is yours."

Aemond's mind raced as he struggled to comprehend the situation unfolding before him. He knew in his heart that Alys' claims were false, that she was using this as a ploy to manipulate him.

But the sight of her standing there heavily pregnant, with Billie looking confused and hurt, filled him with a sense of dread and despair.

"No," he repeated, his voice growing louder with each word. "I won't let you do this."

But Alys merely smirked, her eyes glinting with triumph. "You don't have a choice, Aemond," she taunted, her voice filled with malicious glee. "You will acknowledge this child, whether you like it or not."

"It's not my child," insisted Aemond, his tone firm and unwavering. "I haven't slept with you in well over a year. I've been in a committed relationship with Billie."

Alys scoffed, her eyes flashing with scorn. "Oh, please," she retorted, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "What about that time nine months ago? Or have you conveniently forgotten that incident in the back your car?"

Aemond's jaw clenched with anger at Alys' blatant lies, his fists balling at his sides as he struggled to maintain his composure. "I never slept with you nine months ago," he shot back, his voice tinged with frustration.

Alys' smirk faltered, her confidence wavering in the face of Aemond's anger.

“Aemond”

"No, Alys," he declared, his words laced with certainty. "The baby is not mine, besides I always used protection with you-"

Alys rolled her eyes, her disbelief evident in her expression. "Oh, please," she scoffed, her voice tinged with frustration. "No method is 100% effective."

Aemond's jaw clenched with frustration at Alys' stubborn refusal to accept the truth. "I'm well aware of that fact," he conceded through gritted teeth. "But what is 100% effective is NOT having sex with you at all. You're a fucking liar, Alys".

Alys' face flushed with anger at his accusation, her eyes narrowing into icy slits. "How dare you!" she seethed, her voice trembling with rage. "You can't just deny your responsibility like this!"

But Aemond remained unmoved, his gaze steady and unwavering as he faced her down. "I'm not denying anything," he replied evenly. "I'm simply stating the truth”.

Obviously realising what she was doing wasn't working, Alys tried another tactic, she smiled sweetly and reached out towards Aemond, her hand running up his arm.

“Aemy baby-please, we were so good together, what we had was special“ muttered Alys.

"No it wasn't Alys-you treat me like shit" snarked Aemond snatching his arm away from her grasp.

"I made a mistake-sweet boy" whispered Alys.

"No-the mistake was mine-I never should have got involved with you in the first place" replied Aemond.

"You were nothing before you met me. I made you the man you are" replied Alys.

"No-Alys. It was getting away from you and being with Billie that made me who I am"

"But the sex we had-the way we were with one another-"

"-It was disgusting" replied Aemond.

"She knows how you like it does she?"

"Alys-don't-" warned Aemond.

"We can have it again baby-remember, how we would-"

"-NO. When I was with you, I felt hollow, I felt disgusted with myself-you want to talk about our sex? how about the times where you would make me feel like I was nothing-how you would belittle and hurt me, then demand I spend hours pleasing you in bed-"

"Aemond" gasped Billie her hand covering her mouth.

"I felt sick to my stomach whenever you wanted me to touch you-the countless times I had to fantasize about someone else to get me through it-" said Aemond wiping his nose on his sleeve.

"You liar-" snarled Alys.

"That's rich coming from you-" quipped Aemond.

"-And you want her?" scoffed Alys.

"Yes-" replied Aemond firmly.

"What does she have that I don't?" asked Alys in disbelief.

"Everything"

"-And you really think that she's going to stick around and help you raise our child?"

"For the love of all that is holy-I'm not the FUCKING father"

"Yes you are-" muttered Alys.

"No I'm not-get it through your head. There's only one woman I've ever fucked in my car and it certainly wasn't you-it was Billie"

"Aemond-" exclaimed Billie.

"She'd spent the day with Helaena, and from the second she was away from me-I missed her. I spent the day imagining how I would make love to her. I got myself so worked up that when I picked her up I couldn't contain myself-I just had to have her-"

"-You-" gasped Alys.

"-That desire, the primal need-the not being able to wait. I was so desperate for her that I tore her clothes from her body and sank my self inside her so deep-I couldn't tell where I ended and she began"

"T-That-" uttered Alys.

"Billie makes me feel like I'm the centre of her world, she makes me feel special, she loves me for who I am-not what I am. You have never made me feel like that" admitted Aemond.

"Aemond-" whispered Billie

"Billie, you have to believe me," he implored, his voice raw with emotion. "I love you, and I would never betray your trust like this."

Billie's eyes softened with empathy, her hand reaching out to gently grasp his. "I believe you, Aemond, I trust you-I know you’re not the father" she reassured him, her voice filled with unwavering certainty.

“What?” exclaimed Alys.

"Aegon is” stated Billie, her voice steady but filled with accusation.

Alys' eyes widened in shock, her mask of confidence slipping for the first time since she entered the room. "How do you know?" she demanded, her voice trembling with uncertainty.

Billie's gaze hardened as she explained, "It's your perfume, Alys. I remember smelling it on Aegon the night Aemond introduced me to his family."

Aemond's eye widened in understanding as he recalled the events of that evening—

"You mentioned he had an odour about him," Aemond interjected, his voice filled with realization. "But I thought it was just a joke."

Billie nodded; her certainty unwavering. "It wasn't a joke," she affirmed. "It was the truth."

Alys' face paled as the weight of Billie's accusation settled upon her. She opened her mouth to protest, but no words came out.

Billie's resolve strengthened as she took a step closer to Alys, her senses homed in on the familiar scent that lingered in the air around her. With a furrowed brow, she inhaled deeply, her nostrils flaring as she sought confirmation of her suspicions.

And then, without a shadow of doubt, she nodded resolutely. "I'd never forget a stench like that," she declared, her voice firm and unwavering.

Aemond's patience snapped like a taut rope, his eye blazing with fury as he advanced towards Alys, his fists clenched at his sides.

"How dare you!" he roared, his voice reverberating with anger and betrayal. "How dare you come into my home and spin your web of lies, trying to manipulate me and the woman I love!"

Alys recoiled at the intensity of his rage, her eyes widening in fear as she backed away. "Aemond, please," she pleaded, her voice trembling with desperation. "I didn't mean—"

But Aemond cut her off with a dismissive wave of his hand, his anger boiling over like a volcano on the brink of eruption. "Don't you dare try to play innocent with me," he spat, his voice dripping with contempt. "You knew exactly what you were doing”

"I told Aegon about the baby, but he refused to have anything to do with it."

Aemond's eye narrowed with contempt as he processed her words, his anger simmering just below the surface.

"Why should that surprise you?" he retorted, his voice laced with bitterness. "Aegon has multiple children with multiple women, and he doesn't accept responsibility for any of them."

Alys flinched at the harsh truth of his words, her facade of defiance crumbling under the weight of her own actions. "I thought maybe this time would be different," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "But I was wrong."

“You slept with my brother, and when he discarded you like the filth you are, you decide to try and lie to me? There is no way I would ever father a child with you."

Alys recoiled at the venom in his words, her face contorting with a mixture of shock and shame. "I-I didn't mean for any of this to happen," she stammered, her voice trembling with fear.

But Aemond's rage was unrelenting, his anger fuelled by the depth of her betrayal. "You're a liar and a manipulator," he spat, his words dripping with contempt. "You tried to use me to clean up the mess you made with my brother, but you underestimated me. I won't let you destroy my life"

“Aemond-“

"Get out," he commanded, his tone icy with contempt. "Leave this apartment, and never come back. I don't want to see your face ever again."

Alys' eyes widened in shock at the finality of his words, the weight of his rejection hitting her like a physical blow. "But Aemond, please," she pleaded, her voice tinged with desperation. "I-I still love you."

But Aemond's resolve remained unyielding, his gaze unwavering as he met her pleading eyes.

"You don’t know how to love, everything about you is a lie," he declared, his voice ringing with disdain. "Your just a fucking vampire sucking the life out of everything and everyone you come into contact with, and I want nothing to do with you. Now leave, before I make you” snarled Aemond as he wrenched the door open.

With a heavy heart, Alys made her way towards the door, her shoulders slumped with defeat.

As she crossed the threshold, she cast one final glance back at Aemond, her eyes filled with regret and sorrow.

But Aemond's gaze remained cold and impassive, his heart hardened as he slammed the door shut.

Billie stepped closer to Aemond, her heart aching for the pain he must be feeling. Gently, she wrapped her arms around him, drawing him into a warm embrace.

Aemond hesitated for a moment, his body tense with residual anger and frustration. But as Billie's comforting touch enveloped him, he couldn't help but let out a shaky breath, the tension slowly melting away.

With a soft sigh, Aemond leaned into her embrace, allowing himself to be held by the woman who had stood by his side through it all.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck, his arms encircling her waist as he sought solace in her comforting presence.

Suddenly Bille felt a slight tremble run through his body.

Concerned, she pulled back slightly to look into his eye, and her heart sank as she saw the tears in his eye.

"Aemond, are you ok?" she asked softly, her voice filled with gentle concern.

Aemond took a shaky breath, his voice choked with emotion as he struggled to speak. "I-I had everything planned," he confessed, his words coming out in a broken whisper. "The perfect surprise-for you."

Billie's brow furrowed in confusion, her concern deepening. "What surprise?" she asked, her curiosity piqued.

Aemond's tears fell freely now, his emotions spilling over in a torrent of anguish. "I was going to cook your favourite meal," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I was going to fill the apartment with your favourite flowers-And then, I was going to ask you to marry me."

Billie's breath caught in her throat at his confession, her heart skipping a beat at the enormity of his words.

"And after that," Aemond continued, his voice trembling with sorrow, "I was going to take you to bed and make love to you all night-But now, it's all ruined because of Alys and her fucking lies."

Billie's eyes brimmed with tears at the devastation in Aemond's voice, her heart breaking for the pain he was experiencing. Without hesitation, she pulled him close once more, wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace.

"It's not ruined, Aemond," she whispered, her voice filled with love and reassurance. "We'll get through this together. And when the time is right, we'll have our perfect moment-I love you, and nothing can change that."

“I just can’t believe that audacity of her to show up like that-“ muttered Aemond.

“After everything you told me about her and what I just heard-it’s no surprise really” replied Billie.

“Getting pregnant with my brothers child and then trying to pass it off as mine-is there truly no depths that she wouldn’t sink too”.

“I guess she was just desperate-especially if Aegon did cast her aside,” said Billie.

“It’s her own fault-now she has to deal with the consequences, I’m just glad not to be involved in that mess anymore” replied Aemond.

“Did it feel good. Giving her a piece of your mind?” asked Billie curiously.

“It felt fucking fantastic-now where’s the whiskey. I need a drink” retorted Aemond.

In the months that followed Alys’ attempt to manipulate Aemond, many changes happened.

The first was Aemond’s insistence that they move to a new apartment, the second was that he cut ties with Aegon-he promised his mother that he wouldn’t cause any trouble and would remain cordial at family functions but other than that he didn’t want to know.

He was angry, but he was also hurt-he had not really been that close to Aegon, but he'd spent many hours talking to Aegon about his relationship with Alys and everything she put him through, and despite everything that Aemond had told him, his brother had still got involved with Alys.

It wasn't about her-he couldn't give two shits. But it was Aegon-his own brother.

But Aegon had made his bed, now he needed to lie in it. As did Alys. No doubt by now she would have had the baby, but Aemond didn’t want to know, technically the baby was his niece or nephew, but he just didn’t want to be involved.

Alys was the past and Billie was his future.

Aemond had everything he had ever wanted, and he never wanted to let it go.

His little bird, the love of his life and his soul mate.

A truly remarkable woman who was the light of his life, she would spend hours going over different scents for the perfumes she made, often working late into the night, but she always made time for him and Aemond made sure to spend every moment he could between her soft thighs.

His ravenous appetite for carnal pleasures knew no bounds as he made a point to christen every surface in their new apartment.

He would spend many hours fucking her into exhaustion, his cock pounding into her tight wet heat.

Just thinking about bending her over the kitchen counter made Aemond's cock respond in earnest.

But it was probably not a good idea to get an erection whilst he was currently sat at the traffic lights, his fingers gripping the steering wheel of his car so tight they had turned white.

Fuck he needed to get home-he needed his little bird.

Perhaps tonight he would throw her legs over his shoulders and devour her sweet cunt until she screamed his name and then he would have her ride him afterwards.

Yes-that would do nicely.

He just had to get home first.

As Aemond returned home from a long day's teaching and staff meetings, he was met with a surprise that lifted his spirits.

There, standing in the warm glow of the apartment, was Billie, a soft smile playing at the corners of her lips.

"Hey, love," she greeted him, her voice filled with warmth and affection. "I have something for you."

Intrigued, Aemond approached her, curiosity dancing in his eye. "What is it?" he asked, his interest piqued.

With a mischievous glint in her eye, Billie handed him a small, elegantly wrapped box, adorned with a delicate ribbon. "Open it," she urged him, her excitement palpable.

With trembling hands, Aemond carefully untied the ribbon and lifted the lid of the box. And there, nestled within a bed of velvet, lay a small bottle adorned with intricate designs—a bottle of perfume.

Aemond's breath caught in his throat as he gazed upon the exquisite craftsmanship, his heart swelling with gratitude for the woman who stood before him.

"It's-beautiful," he murmured, his voice filled with awe.

Billie beamed with pride, her eyes sparkling with joy. "I finished it a few weeks ago, it’s the scent I made in your honour" she confessed, her voice tinged with excitement. "I named it Sapphire".

Aemond's eye widened in surprise at the unexpected choice of name, his mind racing.

"Sapphire?" he repeated.

Billie nodded, a soft smile gracing her lips. "Yes," she explained. "After the gemstone that you have in the place of your missing eye."

Aemond's heart swelled with emotion at the thoughtful gesture, his eye welling with tears of gratitude. "Thank you, Billie-I’m truly honoured" he whispered, his voice choked with emotion.

But Billie wasn't finished yet.

With a flourish, she uncapped the bottle, releasing a soft, delicate scent that filled the air with its intoxicating aroma—a scent that spoke of love, of devotion, of the bond that bound them together.

"It's soft with a hint of vanilla," Billie explained, her voice filled with pride. "Just like you."

Overwhelmed by the depth of her love and the beauty of her gift, Aemond pulled her into his arms, holding her close as tears of gratitude streamed down his cheeks.

“It’s perfect my love-“ replied Aemond.

"Guess what, Aemond?" she said, her voice tinged with excitement. "The scent is already trending on social media, and the pre-sales are larger than anything I ever anticipated."

Aemond's eyes widened in astonishment, his heart swelling with pride for the woman he loved. "That's amazing, Billie!" he exclaimed, his voice filled with genuine admiration. "I'm so proud of you."

Billie beamed with joy at his words, her heart soaring with happiness. "Thank you, Aemond," she replied, her voice filled with gratitude. "I couldn't have done it without your love and support."

"I love you-" whispered Aemond.

"-I love you too Issa zaldrīzes" replied Billie smiling (My dragon).

"W-What did you just say?" asked Aemond.

"Oh-did I say it wrong, I know how much you like ancient languages and I ordered a Valyrian phrase book in Braille-and I was practising, oh god this is so embrassing-" stammered Billie fiddling with the hem of her sleeve.

"No-you said it perfectly. I-I was just surprised that's all. What else can you say?"

"Avy jorrāelan issa dārys-" (I love you my King).

Billie didn't get to tell Aemond what else she learned as he hauled her over his shoulder and took her to their bedroom.

Where he spent the night worshipping Zȳhon dāria. (His queen).

Her legs thrown over his shoulders as he devoured her sweet cunt, making her sob with pleasure as she came on his tongue and fingers.

Then he sheathed his hard cock inside her. He had her many times that night, in many positions, filling her to the brim with his seed until she passed out from pleasure and exhaustion-his cock still nestled inside her.

He was going to ask her-he needed to ask her. As he slept that night-he dreamt of seeing her round with his child, his large hand running over the swell of her stomach, the ring on her finger sparkling in the sunlight.

As the morning sun filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow upon the room, Aemond watched with a smile as Billie slept peacefully beside him.

With a gentle touch, he traced the delicate petals of a long-stemmed rose along the curve of her body, eliciting a soft giggle from her lips as it tickled her skin.

Billie stirred awake, her laughter fading into a contented sigh as she opened her eyes "Good morning, love," she murmured, her voice filled with warmth and affection.

"Good morning, my darling," Aemond replied, his eye sparkling with adoration.

Billie shook her head, a smile playing at the corners of her lips. "Not at all," she assured him. "What are you up to?"

Aemond's smile widened as he leaned down to capture her lips in a passionate kiss, his heart overflowing with love. "I just wanted to tell you how much I love you," he whispered against her lips, his voice filled with emotion.

Billie's heart swelled with happiness at his words, her eyes shining with unshed tears of joy. "I love you too, Aemond," she whispered, her voice filled with tenderness.

Taking a deep breath, Aemond put the rose on the bedside table and reached into his pocket, producing a small velvet box.

"Whilhelmina Skylark," he began, his voice trembling with nervous excitement. "Will you marry me?"

Tears of joy streamed down Billie's cheeks, her heart overflowing with love and gratitude. "Yes, Aemond," she whispered, her voice filled with emotion. "Yes, I will marry you."

Aemond's heart skipped a beat as Billie's words sank in, a surge of joy and excitement coursing through him like a tidal wave.

"I want to marry you as soon as possible, I don’t want to wait" he declared, his voice filled with eager anticipation.

But before he could even finish his sentence, Billie let out a joyful laugh, her eyes dancing with mischief. "Well, you might have too, as I have a surprise of my own," she interjected, her voice laced with excitement.

Aemond's brow furrowed in curiosity as he watched her reach into the drawers beside their bed, his mind racing with possibilities.

What could she possibly have in store for him?

And then, with a flourish, Billie pulled out a small white object, holding it out for him to see.

Aemond's eye widened in astonishment—a positive pregnancy test.

"I'm pregnant," Billie announced, her voice trembling with emotion. "-Helaena knows, she was with me when I did the test."

Aemond's heart swelled with an overwhelming flood of joy and love, his eye brimming with tears of happiness.

"Billie," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion.

#house of the dragon #aemond targaryen #hotd aemond #aemond fanfiction #hotd fanfic #aemond fic #aemond x oc #hotd fic #aemond one eye #aemond x original female character #aemond #aemond smut #aemond targaryen smut

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justmeinadaze · 1 year

Text

You Should Be Sad (Steddie X You)

Part 1 Without Me

A/N: ENTER WITH CAUTION! Like my previous chapter THIS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL! Its angsty and dealing with dark themes of addiction. I WILL STILL LOVE YOU IF YOU CHOOSE TO SKIP THIS STORY!

Warnings: Toxic Steddie and reader! Even though in the bulk of this story they are on a healing journey a lot of their toxic behavior is discussed and expanded upon. ANGST, They are sober but they still haven't truly faced all of their demons. Eddie is a former drug addict and Steve is a former alcoholic. Their previous behavior is discussed and expanded upon including verbal abuse, Eddie ODing, and smacking the reader (its just the one time but it shakes them both).

Eddie does go visit his dad in jail and of course his dad is an asshole. Eddie talks about his trauma and what his mom went through. Steve does the same when it comes to his dad and how he made him feel.

Reader talks about her healing and how they were like her drug. She talks in detail about how they made her feel especially when Eddie ODed.

I think that's all the angst. Again DARK THEMES ARE EXPLORED HEAVILY! If that makes you uncomfortable I understand if you choose not to read!

SMUT, not rough in anyway, there's still love between them and they are much gentler with her here then in the last chapter. FLUFF, I did create a happy ending. I think they deserve that <3. Not all situations like this end badly.

Word Count: 11,371

1991

“I, um, called her mom and she said she may be coming in but I don’t know.”, Steve sighed as he wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans.

“And if she doesn’t that’s alright. You’ve been doing really well, Steven. Compared to where you were three years ago after Y/N left.” The man grimly smiled towards the group counselor.

He hated thinking about that time in his life. After you three graduated school, they convinced you to move into an apartment with them. Being completely away from prying eyes didn’t make things any better. Steve drank more excessively and Eddie continued to snort heavy amounts of his drug. Their toxic behavior amplified and every day they watched your personality that they fell in love slowly fade.

Three years ago, you finally had enough. You didn’t notify them in any way or even go back to the apartment to pack a bag. You just got in your car and ran from Hawkins.

Losing you shook them to their core. A week after you disappeared, Steve went to the station and told Hopper about the accident he had caused senior year that got you hurt. They charged him for the DUI and fleeing the scene but instead of any prison time the chief got him into a rehab program. After six months of in-patient treatment, he was released for continued out-patient rehab therapy. He had been sober ever since but every day was hard. Due to his record no one wanted to hire him even though he was a Harrington so he ended up having to work at his dad’s firm.

With everything that happened, his dad became almost worse, constantly reminding him of his failures. Every time he said something condescending or Steve had that strong urge to drink, he would look at the photo he had of you three on his desk and remind himself why he was trying to be better.

***

His uncle watched Eddie with cautious eyes as he took an obnoxiously big bite of the burger in front of him.

“Wayne, if you stare at me any harder you’re going to burn a hole through my brain.”

The man laughs as he takes a sip from his glass of water. He knew his nephew was allowed to drink but chose not to for his roommate’s sake. Wayne didn’t want to make that choice any harder than he was sure it was so whenever he spent the afternoon with him he would drink anything but.

“How’s therapy goin’?”

“It’s, uh, it’s going.”, Eddie sighs. “We’ve been talking a lot about Allen lately. She…she thinks I should go to the prison and confront him. Face my fears so to speak. I told her I’m not afraid of him—” His uncle’s scoff cut him off. “What? I’m not.”

“Ed…you went through a lot as a kid. I don’t know how much you remember but—”

“I remember all of it.”

“Ok, I’m just saying, when someone goes through what you went through at such a young age…it’s ok to still…be afraid.” Eddie glares down at his plate as his uncle continues. “You’re not like him, son. Yeah, you fucked up but you’re trying. My brother gave up way before he ever went in.”

The boy’s jaw tightened as he tried to keep his emotions in check.

“I hurt her, Wayne. That night I… I was out of control. You should have seen the way she looked me…after I…It was how mom looked him.”

***

You stared at the Hawkins road sign from your parked car as you wiped the tears from your eyes. You had been gone for three years and when you originally left you told yourself you were never coming back. The night you ran was the beginning of your own personal rehab purging you of them. You desperately needed to get away from their toxicity after what happened.

About a year after you left, you received a call from a doctor at a rehab center a few hours outside of Hawkins asking if you would be willing to come be a part of Steve’s 12 step rehabilitation program. He needed to make amends and so far only Eddie and his mom participated. You declined at the time feeling there was no point. Steve was never consistent when it came to being sober.

Every year you got a call but this year you were surprised when your mom asked you to take part as well.

“Steve talked about your accident and apologized for his behavior. Y/N, he seemed so sincere. I completely understand if you don’t feel comfortable coming back but it really did help me hearing him apologize especially after he’s continued to be sober. Maybe it can be a bit healing for you to.”

Eddie’s uncle kept your mom updated on his progress but amends were a lot harder for him. It wasn’t just that he was afraid to face that guilt but he felt like he still wasn’t strong enough to handle that emotion.

You spent the last three years on a type of spiritual journey; traveling the world and having experiences of your own that didn’t include Eddie and Steve. You made a lot of new friends and got into a healthy relationship or two. You were living in the moment and for once you were extremely happy…well…happier.

Even you knew at some point you would have to come back here to Hawkins. Not just to see your family but to face the memories and everything you had been through. You needed to heal and if facing them in this controlled setting would do that then so be it.

###########

“Eddie, it’s ok.”, the counselor soothed as he watched the metalhead’s leg bounce anxiously.

“Yeah, no. I’m just a little nervous. Is-Is she really coming?”

On cue, there’s a tiny knock on the man’s office door as the receptionist slowly opened it to tell him you were here. The boys watched as he poked his head through and said a few words to you before leading you into the room.

It took every fiber of their being not to get up and run to you, lift you in their arms, and kiss your lips. It had been three years and you were even more beautiful than they remembered. Your hair was a bit shorter and wherever you had been you were obviously constantly being kissed by the sun. You had gained a bit of weight which was good because when you were with them you barely ever ate anything since you were always in a constant state of panic worrying about them. What they wouldn’t give to see you smile again.

Your arms remained hugged around your chest as the person in charge guided you to a seat across of them. They both looked different and, to be honest, unrecognizable to you sober. They carried a different air that made you wonder had you run into them anywhere else would you have even recognized them? Eddie still had his long hair and clean face but his eyes had more of a hollow ring around them as if he hadn’t slept in three years. Instead of the heavy metal garb you expected him to be in, he was wearing clothes that resembled his uncle’s style down to the beige colored boots.

Steve looked like a younger version of his father and you’d be lying if you said that didn’t hurt you for him. He was wearing a suit with the sleeves rolled to his elbows as the jacket rested on the arm rest behind him. His beautiful brown hair was now wild as if he didn’t have the energy to style it anymore. Even the slight facial hair that dusted his upper lip and along his jaw line screamed that he was too exhausted to put in that extra effort.

“Y/N, I just want to start this by saying this is a safe space, okay? You can say anything you want and there is no judgement. Usually, we do this one at a time but I thought it might be easier for you to do this with them both here.”

“You cleared it with her first right? You told her we both would be here?”

The doctor glanced over at Steve sympathetically. “Yes, I did. I wouldn’t have pushed her if she felt unsafe to be in a room with you both.”

“I do feel unsafe.” All eyes turned to you. “I…I still feel like this isn’t real. That you two are going to leave this place and go back to your apartment to do what you do best.”

“That’s fair.”, Eddie nodded as his gaze shifted towards the floor. “We had always tried to get clean but could never succeed.”

“Pfft, tried.”, you scoffed angrily as your arms hugged your body tighter.

“Go ahead, Y/N. Get it all out here. They can’t make amends if they don’t hear everything.”

“See, that’s the thing, sir. They did hear everything. I said it over and over again since high school but they ignored me and focused on themselves. It’s kind of ironic to be in a relationship with two men yet still feel lonely and unheard!”

Silence falls heavily over everyone and after a few moments the counselor clears his throat. “Steven, why don’t you go ahead?”

“I, uh, don’t know if your parents told you but I came clean about the accident. I took accountability, Y/N, like you had always wanted me to and I am so…so sorry I didn’t do that sooner. I almost killed you and…I don’t know why that wasn’t enough of a wakeup call for me but I’m still learning. I’m still…fuck…I’m sorry, Y/N. I know no amount of apologizing will make up for that or how I treated you but I think about you every day. Every day I wake and I fight to be a better man. It’s so fucking hard but—”

He pauses when he notices you staring out the window trying to control the tears that had begun to fall, turning towards the man in charge helplessly.

“What’s running through your mind, Y/N?” You shake your head but he continues to try and urge you to speak.

“I’m just wondering…why wasn’t I enough?”

“Honey—”

“No. NO. Don’t you fucking dare, Steve Harrington.” Angerly you wipe your eyes as you turn your body to fully face him. “Waking up every day is hard for you? Good. Now you know what it was like for me for all those years. I woke everyday knowing you were going to be drunk or Eddie was going to be high. The fun part was the gamble of which men I was going to get that day. The doting boyfriends or the abusive dickheads.”

Eddie flinched at your last sentence making you sarcastically laugh.

“And I notice you’re still really fucking quiet over there. You may hate hearing it, Ed, but it’s true. I’ve told you before and looking at you two now I see it more than ever. You are both exactly like your fathers!”

“I’m sorry.”, the metalhead whispered.

“For what, Eddie?! This is amends right? Make them!”

The doctor heard Steve sigh as his head turned from you both. “Steven, what was that?”

“Nothing.”

“No, not nothing. Use the feelings chart if you need to.”

You and Eddie roll your eyes at the same time.

“Jesus Christ, I’m angry.”

“At who? At Y/N?”

You see the answer in his face and it throws you off guard as you wait for him to explain.

“He’s angry with me.”, Eddie heavily growls under his breath.

“Why is that?”

“Take your pick.”, the metalhead responds for him. “We got drunk and high together. I never tried to stop him nor did I ever stop him from cheating on Y/N which was hypocritical because I accused her of cheating on us all the time. I’m the one that convinced him to leave her at the accident and I’m the reason…”

“Oh, don’t stop now, Munson. You’re on a roll.”, Steve sassed.

“You’re as much to blame for her leaving as I am.”

The boy turned on his friend rising to his feet as Eddie did the same.

“You’re the one that ODed on our floor!”

“And you’re the one that was so drunk you passed out on the couch and didn’t even wake up till after the ambulance was long gone!”

“You’re the one that fucking HIT HER!”

The room went quiet again as what they both were saying hung in the air.

“Can we stop for the day, please?” Your small voice slices the tension in half as the counselor nods and stands to take your hand so he can lead you out.

Eddie doesn’t say a word as he gathers his things and flies past everyone out the door towards his van before skidding away.

“He is doing a lot better. They both are but Edward seems to struggle more when it comes to facing that part of his trauma.”

“He never wanted to be like his dad. That was one of his biggest fears.”, you sigh.

“Thank you for coming by. I would like to try this again with them and you. Whenever you’re ready of course.”

############

You sip your coffee as you sit in the booth at the diner a few blocks from your house. You had so much trouble falling asleep as all the anxieties of seeing them and being back here hit you like a ton of bricks. After what happened today, you weren’t sure if you could do another session with them but you were surprised by how it unfolded. You had so many questions about the past but new revelations gave you new things you wanted to ask. Had Steve always blamed Eddie for the things that happened? Did Eddie blame himself? They both seemed more agitated and angrier then when they weren’t sober. Why? Was it because you left or were there things they hadn’t faced yet?

“Hey Sally. Can I have some coffee please?” As you looked up from your beverage your eyes locked with Steve’s weary ones. “Hey, um, I’m just getting some caffeine and then I’ll be gone so…”

“Couldn’t sleep either?”, you asked causing him to exhale a breathy chuckle.

“Um, kind of. Eddie didn’t come home so I’ve been looking for him. Sometimes when he’s stressed he hides and smokes like a carton of cigarettes before heading to work the next morning. I still haven’t found out where he goes.”

“You two don’t go to the pool anymore?” He shook his head before thanking the waitress as she hands him his to go cup. “I may know where he is. I found him there once when his dad sent him a letter from jail. I…I can show you.”

“Oh, hon- Y/N, you don’t have to do that. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

After sliding out of the booth, you threw some money on the table and sauntered past him as you walked out the front door.

“If anything, I’m more comfortable doing this than the group therapy bullshit.”

***

Steve sighed when his friend’s van came into view in the driveway of an old run down home.

“How did you know he’d be here?”

“This is where he lived with his parents when he was a boy. He told me once he felt closer to his mom here.”

To the other boy’s surprise, the front door wasn’t locked as you swung it open with no problem.

“Hey! Get the fu—fuck me. Hey, Y/N. What are you both doing here?” Eddie had quickly risen from the long-abandoned couch when you two had come in.

“I’ve been looking for you for a while, Ed. She volunteered to show me where you might be.”

“Why?” You don’t say anything as your eyes scan him over. “Well, I’m here. I’m safe. I’m fucking sober.” He flashes you both his vest pockets before turning in a circle to show you everything else. “So, you can go back home.”

“Why are you so angry?” Your tone was anything but subtle and slightly loaded with contempt as he tilted his head at your question. “You both seem more on edge now than before I left but especially you Eddie. Why?”

His face flashes through multiple emotions before finally deciding to be honest instead of shutting down.

“I feel the same way he does. It’s my fault that everything happened. It’s my fault…you left. I don’t deserve to be happy.”

“I don’t know about that.”, you grumble as you cross your arms. “I think you should feel bad about our time together… you and Steve. I think you deserve to be happy but you have to feel what I went through first before you can and it seems like at this moment that frightens you both but especially you.”

“Y/N, look at me! Him and I have fucking crawled our way to sobriety. Steve confessed to the accident and I talked to my uncle like you wanted. We both went to rehab and talked about our feelings and shit. We suffer every fucking day to be better! I mean…”

“I wanted accountability, Eddie. I’m proud of you two for how far you’ve come and owning up to your mistakes. I really am but you both are still avoiding the reason you turned to your vices; the reason you treated me like garbage. I carried your burdens for you for almost 7 years. It’s time for you to face them and move forward. Be happy.”

“Are you happy?”, Steve asks from behind you.

“I’m happier than I was… I still struggle with my self image and identity without you two.”

“I’m sorry I don’t understand. We always thought you were way stronger than we ever were. That you had your own powerful identity.”

“Which is why we always thought at some point you would realize you were too good for us or…or someone else would see that and take you away.”, Eddie sighed, disappointed in himself.

“I almost died but still stayed yet Eddie almost died and that was enough for me to run.”, you shrug as your voice cracks. “You two were my everything. I felt like I couldn’t breathe without you. You were my vice.”

###########

“Where the fuck have you been?!”

“Jesus, Eddie. I was with my mom and I told you both that!”

“Really? You were with your mom until 10pm?!”

“YES! What do I have to do to prove to you, Eddie Munson, that I don’t want anyone else!!”

The metalhead rolled his eyes as he took a seat at the table and snorted the powder he had separated on top of it.

“Maybe, if you followed through and stop doing this bullshit you’d actually fucking hear me.”

“Watch your mouth, Y/N or I swear to God—”, he warned as he stood up again.

“You’ll what? Inhale another line and call me a whore?”

“Stop being a whore and I won’t call you one.”

You sarcastically laughed in his face. “Well gee Ed. I need someone to satisfy me since you or your drunken partner in crime can barely seem to get it up anymore!”

Your eyes snapped open as his ringed hand flew across your face, panting as you tried to catch your breath. It had been a while since you had that dream but you thought about that night often; the night he crossed that line. You could still feel the sting of the metal against your skin but what always stuck with you was Eddie’s face after. He regretted it immediately; not even the drugs could block out that.

You had turned and left without saying a word, crying in your car as you drove around Hawkins trying to clear your head. What always stuck with you in your journey to healing was that at the time even that wasn’t enough for you to leave. Yes, you left the apartment but you had every intention of coming back. Hell, you did! That’s when things really got worse.

A sudden knock on your bedroom door startled you but what startled you even more was who was on the other side after you granted them entry.

“Hey, um, I hope I didn’t wake you up or anything.”, Eddie grumbled as he stepped inside.

“No, no you didn’t.”

An awkward silence hung in the air as his eyes swiveled around the room. Memories clung to everything and the bad ones pierced his heart.

“Look, uh, I know I don’t have any right to ask you for anything but, um, my therapist has been wanting me to visit the prison to see my father because she thinks it will help me. I don’t see how but… I’ve been thinking about what you said the other night…about accountability and facing my burdens…”

“Why are you telling me this, Ed?”

A heavy exhale escapes his lips as he runs his fingers frustratingly through his hair.

“Will you come with me to see him?” Eddie’s eyes find yours and you see something within them that you’ve seen a million times before but as he speaks again you realize this is the first time he’s acknowledging it. “I’m scared, Y/N. I don’t think…I don’t know if I can do this alone…”

Sighing yourself, you nod and he smiles before leaving you alone so you can change.

***

“How long has it been since you’ve seen him?”, you ask as you both wait at the police station booth for them to bring out his father.

“I honestly can’t remember. I want to say since he went in but I know Wayne visited him a lot and I may have gone with him a time or two.” His knee anxiously jumps as he lights another cigarette, flicking the excess ash into the tray in front of him. “Thank you for coming with me.”

As you flash him a small smile, the door on the other side of the glass bangs open as they bring out his father and place him in front of you both.

“Edward! Good to see you, kid. I don’t think I’ve seen you since you were like six or seven!”

“No, that’s not right. Mom would have been alive and you went in a year after she died when I was ten.”

“Oh. Well shit. You were always small for your age.”, his father dismisses him as he lights his own cigarette.

You had never seen or met Eddie’s dad but seeing him now was giving you some insight into why the metalhead was the way he was. Eddie was about ten years old when you first met him and Steve. He was always really quiet at first and if his father was the same way then as he was being now, then you understood why.

“So, how can I help you today, son? I assume you’re here because you need something. A new hook up maybe? Rumors around town say there was a few times you and that Harrington kid almost ended up sharing a cell with me!”, he chuckles. “Why are you hanging out with that preppy asshole anyway? Upper class like the Harringtons don’t give a shit about lower class trash like us.”

It was instinct really; a long-forgotten reflex that had been dormant for three years. You reached out to hold Eddie’s hand as his dad spewed his cruelty. The metalhead didn’t visibly react but your gesture of kindness calmed him.

“I’m not trash and I’m nothing like you.”, he growled.

“Oh really?” His father folded his arms sarcastically as he leaned forward. “You’re like Wayne now, huh? Work at the plant, call every beautiful piece of ass sweetheart. Hell, you even dress like him now.” He snarkily laughs as he lights a new cigarette. “You can dress and act any way you want to, boy, but no matter what, my genes are still a part of you. You’ll always be…a trash Munson.”

“Half.” His father’s eyes swing towards you. “Half of a Munson but thankfully its mostly the good half. The other half is his mother. They both deserved better than you.”

Blowing smoke towards the window he scoots a little closer to your side.

“You must be Y/N. You know… you remind me a lot of my wife. She was beautiful, kind, loyal to a fault—”

“Then why did you hurt her?”, Eddie asked.

“Why do you?”, his dad snapped. Eddie knew he meant you and it killed him. “If anything, you’re worse than me because if I had driven home drunk and almost killed your mother she would have left me right then and there!” He glances your way. “You’re weak like him…aren’t you little girl?”

It was your turn to cheekily square your shoulders as you leaned forward so close that if there wasn’t glass in the way your noses would have touched.

“You say he’s weak but he’s not the one behind bars. He’s sober and coming from a woman who knows what a man on drugs looks like I’m surprised they haven’t figured you out yet. You call him weak but the truth is you are. That’s why you never got better or tried to stay out of jail. That’s why you hurt him and his mom. Because even when he was a kid he was more of a man than you will ever be.”

Tugging on Eddie’s hand, you pulled him to his feet.

“Come on. I’m not going to let him keep talking down to you.”

Without a word, he followed you out without even so much as a cursory glance towards his father.

***

You two sat silently in the driveway of your house. The street was quiet as everyone was still either at work or school.

“I’m sorry.”

Eddie chuckled as he looked your way. “What do you have to be sorry for?”

“Eddie…even at your worst…you were nothing like him.”

His long hair whipped from side to side as he shook his head.

“Y/N, he may have said a lot of bullshit but he was right about one thing… You were…ARE an amazing woman. Even when we were little I was always afraid that someone was going to take you away. Then as we got older and I got worse…I thought you were going to leave. Y/N, you don’t understand, I believed it so deeply that it was almost like an obsession to catch you hurting me. To prove myself right and you wrong; to villainize you so it wouldn’t hurt so fucking bad.”

His chocolate his shift towards the window as he continues.

“Jokes on me. It still hurt like a motherfucker when I woke up in the hospital and Steve told me you were gone. Y/N, I am so fucking sorry for what happened that night. I—”

As he turned his head to face you, your lips cut him off. Hearing him talk about his feelings and you the way he was, thrust you back into your old mindset. He was hurting and he needed you. Truth be told you needed him to desperately and that was more than evident when you climbed over the middle console to straddle his lap.

Eddie’s sober mind was screaming for him to stop, to push you off him because he didn’t want to be responsible for your pain again. But he missed you so much and how could he deny you when it appeared like you were hungry for him to make you feel better to?

Pushing up off his lap, you slid off your pants as he adjusted his seat to lean back so you wouldn’t hit your head on the ceiling. Eddie hastily pushed down his own jeans allowing his cock to spring free before spitting in his hand and stroking it along his length.

You both groaned as you slowly descended onto him, gripping his shoulders as he took hold of your waist. No one except Steve fit perfectly inside of you like Eddie did. Even as he stretched you out, that familiar feeling of him gliding almost seamlessly through your walls till you felt your lap connect with his was almost too much.

“Fuck, Eddie.”

He didn’t say a word as you began rolling your hips, his jaw going slack as he absorbed the feeling of you he never thought he would experience again.

Your hands gripped his neck as you bounced roughly on top of him, his warm breath fanning your face as he panted against your lips. As his eyes locked with yours, you hoped he couldn’t see the tears that threatened to fall. Even though you were angry with them, the truth of the matter was that you still loved them.

Even though they had hurt you all the time and made your life in the past hell, you still craved them. To you they were the lucky ones. There was a rehab and program for people with their addiction. Where do you go when your addiction is a person you love with all heart and then some? It added to your anger over the past three years and anytime you thought about them it made you furious with yourself.

“You’re weak just like him…aren’t you little girl?”

Eddie’s eyebrows knitted together when he saw you shake your head and lean against his shoulder as you tried to ride him harder. There was something you were keeping from him but he didn’t dare ask. All he could do was thread his fingers through your hair as he pressed you closer to him while he thrust his hips up to meet yours.

“Everything’s ok, sweetheart. You’re ok.”, he whispered in your ear. “Fuck—cum, baby, please.”

Pulling your head back, you placed your forehead on his own as your eyes squeezed shut and you came harder than you had in a long time.

“God damn. C-Can I cum inside you?” Right as you gave him your permission, his hands gripped your sides, guiding your motions as he grunted and you felt him release his seed inside of you. The two of you sat still, your heavy breathing the only sound filling the tiny, enclosed space.

All of a sudden, you felt like you couldn’t hold it in anymore as you fell against his broad chest and began to sob. Unsure of what to do, he acted on instinct, responding the way he used to after you two would fight and you would cry.

“Sweetheart…FUCK! I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.” He tries to hug you but you shove him away. “Baby, please. Let me make it up to you. Let me hold you.”

As your head hung and your shoulders shook, the last of your resolve faded away and he took the opportunity to lift you in his arms, carrying you to his bed so he could cuddle you.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. You’re too good for me, princess. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“Eddie…what do I have to do…to show you that I love you both and ONLY you both?”

“Nothing, baby. I know. It’s the blow…Fuck…you deserve better. I swear, I’m never taking another hit. I hated seeing you be afraid of me…”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I think about that night every day. Every time I have a craving or…I just remember the way you looked at me after I…”

“After you what?” You tilted back to look at him as you waited for his answer. When Eddie shifted his gaze away from you, you sarcastically chuckle as you reached over to grab your pants and keys, opening the driver’s side door as you climb out. “That’s ok, Ed. You’ve had enough accountability for one day.”, you hiss as you slam it closed and stomp inside.

###########

Steve grumbles under his breath as he asks the waitress for a cup of coffee. Eddie had come home that day in a bad mood and slammed his bedroom door before the sound of heavy metal filled his bedroom as he angrily strummed at his guitar.

He knew he wasn’t going to be getting much sleep tonight and his dad had been on his ass about reports he was “behind” on so Steve figured he could utilize the time to go to his office to get some work done.

As he turned to leave, he spotted your sad frame in the same booth you were in a few nights before as you sullenly stared out the window. He should have left you alone but he couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling in his stomach that told him to make sure you were alright.

“Couldn’t sleep again?”

Steve expected you to be startled by him with how deep in thought you seemed to be but when you half smiled and turned to face him, he couldn’t help but tilt his head. It almost seemed like you were waiting for him; expecting him to show up.

“Something like that. What about you?”

“Uh, same. I thought I’d go to the office a bit and utilize the energy to get some work done.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked down at your watch. “At 11 pm?”

“Yeah.”, he laughs. “My dad’s anger and disappointment operate outside of normal timeframes so…” Steve smiles as he raises his cup in your direction. “I’ll, um, leave you to it.”

As he turns to leave, however, he notices you nod and hug you’re your arms around your body. You always used to do that when you were trying keep yourself from falling apart.

“Steve, seriously, you’re not going to be able to wake up for work tomorrow if you finish that bottle.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N. I know my limits ok!? Get off my fucking back!”, he slurs as he heads for the couch. His eyes glance over you as your arms wrap around you. “Honey…I’m okay. Trust me.” You wince at his words. Trust me. If there were two people in the world who couldn’t be trusted, it was them.

He rolls his eyes as he throws himself down on the sofa.

“Whatever. Go mother someone else.”

“You absolutely don’t have to but would you like to come hang out with me? We don’t even have to talk if you don’t want to. You can sit there while I pretend to know what I’m doing.”

You laugh. You actually genuinely laugh and Steve feels like an arrow pierced his chest. God, he missed that sound.

***

“Uh, just ignore the mess here.”, he mumbles as shuffles some papers aside and slides a chair over for you to sit in. Before he can hide it, your eyes notice the picture of you three on his desk. “Yeah, let me just move that—”

“It’s ok. You can leave it there.” He nods as he begins to focus on things in front of him. “How much of that day do you remember?”

Steve smirks as he pretends to write on the documents in front of him.

“It’s one of the few days I actually do from beginning to end. Probably because the amusement park at the time didn’t allow alcohol and they confiscated my flask.”, he laughs but there’s a sadness behind it. “We took you there for your birthday and I don’t think you stopped smiling once.”

“Steve, do you really blame Eddie for everything?”

The man sighed at your abrupt question as he leaned back in his chair. “For everything? No. For you leaving? Yes. Y/N, I almost fucking killed him when I found out he put his hands on you.”

“What the fuck did you do, Edward Munson?!”

“I-I-I—”

“She just ran past me in the hallway and sped off when I tried to stop her. WHAT. HAPPENED?!”

“Steve, I didn’t mean to…I-I-I got so mad…”

Steve angrily grabbed his collar and yanked him up till his face was level with his. “Did you touch her? Did you fucking hit her, EDDIE!?”

Something in the metalhead’s eyes changed as he shoved his friend backwards off of him.

“Don’t act like your God’s gift to boyfriends, Steven! Let’s not forget YOU almost fucking killed her!” Eddie marched into the bedroom and slammed the door while Steve furiously punched the wall before heading to the fridge to grab a beer.

“Him popping me isn’t why I left. When I drove off after you chased me, I had always planned on coming back…” You looked away as you tried to shake the memory. “Why do you work here? I figure with you trying to be sober this would be the worst place for you to be.”

“You would figure correctly.”, he exhales as he looks around. “Uh, after I turned myself in, no one wanted to hire me. I was too much of a liability so my dad gave me this wonderful slice of heaven.” You smile at his sarcasm. “Every day is hard but I’m doing the work. The group therapy helps as well as my amends.”

“Did you father ever participate in that?”

“Pfft, no. My father hasn’t changed, Y/N. If anything, he’s worse and makes sure to remind me every day that I’m a fuck up to our name.”

“You were never a fuck up, Steve.”

His honey eyes scan you over before he beams in your direction and flashes you some of his paperwork. “I don’t know. Have you ever tried going through this bullshit? It’s so mind numbing you may accidently fuck up!”

As he continues to work, he walks you through what he’s supposed to do and exactly how his dad wants it done. Steve can’t help but revel in this feeling of you being so close to him again and helping him.

When he first met you in elementary, you were always so kind to him and Eddie. Sometimes he would come to school and the teacher would snap at him because he didn’t do his homework the night before. When you asked him about it, he would tell you that he didn’t understand the material and his father wouldn’t help him.

“He says I’m stupid and I should know all this stuff by now.”

“Steve, you’re not stupid. How are you supposed to know it when we just learned it?”

From that point forward, both boys came over to your house to study and have you walk them through the material. Eddie said you always made it easy. As they got older though, Steve skated by on his popularity while Eddie settled with doing the bare minimum. They thought you didn’t know but you were highly aware that they would copy your answers on assignments all the time.

When Steve had started drinking, he always smelled heavily like whatever was in his flask at the time so as he got worse it was harder and harder for you to be around him. He hated seeing you cringe every time he pulled you to his side.

Now that he was sober, he smelled like a mix of cologne and the office space he worked in with a hint of his roommate’s cigarette smoke that you imagine constantly hung in the air.

“Ok, let me put these on his desk and then I can walk with you back to our cars.”

You followed him to his father’s office, giggling under your breath at the obnoxiousness of it. It was way too big for one man and had a massive swanky office chair to match his comically large desk. On the walls, he had awards hung along with pictures of him with clients.

“No pictures of you or your mom?”

“Oh, my mom made the shelf.”, he answers sassily as he points towards the bookshelf beside him. “Not too many though, just in case the newest side piece comes to visit.”

You come to his side as your eyes search through the photos.

“Where are you?”

“No, no, honey. I don’t get a photo. I’m the Harrington that crashed a car and almost killed a young girl. Can’t really make small talk about that when his associates come by.”

“Steve…”

“I mean, it’s fine.” He shoves his hands in his pockets as he looks towards his feet. “He’s right. I’m an embarrassment. I left the woman I love to bleed out in an accident that I caused because I was too fucking drunk to see straight.” With his hand, he gestures around the office. “I deserve this.”

Once more, instinct takes over logic as you tilt up on your toes and crane your neck to find his lips. It so odd tasting him now that his mouth and breath weren’t basted in bourbon or beer. The best way to describe his new taste is what could have been. The life you three could have had if he and Eddie had never found their vices.

When you start to pull away his palms quickly cup your face bringing you back to him. His kisses came quick and passionate as he backed you towards his father’s desk, lifting you up, and placing you onto it. Rising your hips, you allowed him to remove your sweats and panties as you reached forward to fumble with his belt.

When his cock sprang free, you wasted no time as you spit into your hand and massaged it into your cunt before he guided himself into you sex.

Steve grunted at the feeling of you tightly clinging to him again, doing everything he could to not just cum right now. He was completely lost in you as he reached behind your back and shoved everything on to the floor without a second thought.

You promptly laid down flat and he followed you, his mouth clinging to your neck as he thrust his hips against yours.

“S-Steve…Oh my god…”, you whimpered as you ran your nails through his hair and under his shirt. It had been so long since he made anyone feel good in anyway. His parents hated him, people in town always side eyed him, and Eddie was just as miserable as he was. Hearing you moan his name in pleasure, drove him wild as he hoisted you further up the desk and fully climbed on top of you.

The desk jostled underneath as Steve rolled his hips, practically punching the air out of your lungs as his fingers tangled in your hair.

“F-Fuck, I’m gonna…”

Your pussy tightened around him as the coil in your tummy snapped and he mewled as your nails clawed at his skin. His head shot up to look in your eyes and you nodded at the unspoken question within them.

Steve’s lips connect with yours and after a few more rough thrusts he spills inside of you.

“Are…are you ok?”, he asks as he leans up on his elbows. When you nod, he softly smiles as he brushes away some hair in front of your face. “Y/N, I’m so sorry, baby. I’m sorry for the accident, for abandoning you, my behavior when I was drunk.”

“What about the behavior, Steve? How much of it do you really remember?”

“I remember screaming at you a lot and calling you names. I called you a whore more than once—”

“Even though you cheated on me.”

Steve’s jaw tightened as he gradually pulled out of you and sat in his father’s chair, handing you your clothes that had been tossed onto the floor.

“I was a fucking prick.”

“How much of the night of the accident do you remember?”

“I remember the car flipping and Eddie pulling my arm, telling me to run—”

“What about the night he ODed?”

“I-I…he…he hurt you and then tried to block it out by snorting his drug…”

“And where were you?” You chuckle when he looks at you with a bewildered look on his face. “He’s right, you know. You are just as much to blame for me leaving as he is. You can’t make amends, Steve, if you keep blaming Eddie for everything.”

###############

Without an invitation, your mother barged into the boy’s apartment as soon as Steve opened the door to her knock.

“Mrs. Y/L/N? Is everything alright?”

She didn’t answer as she opened Eddie’s door without knocking.

“Hey! The fuck?” The metalhead quickly rose to his feet following her out into the living room.

Steve tried to grab her arm to get her attention and she promptly turned around, allowing her palm to connect with his cheek.

“Where is she? What did you two do?!”

“Where is who? What is going on?”, Eddie asked completely confused.

“My daughter didn’t come home last night and we can’t find her anywhere! I lost my baby for 3 years because of you two! Now if you know where she is tell me NOW!”

“We swear, Mrs. Y/L/N. If we knew we would tell you.”

She shakes her head as she marches towards the door before pausing and turning to face them.

“If I had known what was really going on at the time, I never would have let you both into my house or near my daughter. If I had known that you were the reasons her self esteem was so low…the real reason she cried so much…the reason why you almost took her away from me forever!”, she roared as she pointed at Steve. “I would have killed you two myself. I shouldn’t have convinced her to come back. You both are a poison.”

With that she left them, slamming their front door for emphasis. Steve slowly heads into his room and grabs his car keys as he lightly tugs Eddie’s sleeve.

“Come on. I think I know where she might be.”

***

“I’m sorry, Munson.”

The metalhead tossed the butt of his cigarette out into the passing street as he rolled up the window.

“No reason for you to be.”

“No, no. You were right. I’m as much a reason for how things ended up as you are. I just… the hardest thing for me is trying to figure out why all this happened. When Y/N breaks she says the same thing, ‘Why wasn’t I enough?’. I ask myself that all the time but struggle with the truth…so I blamed you.”

“She came with me the other day to see Allen. He insinuated it was in my genes. I’m meant to be a fuck up who hurts her.” He smiles softly as he continues. “She said I had more of Wayne and my mother’s genes.” They both lightly chuckle as Eddie fiddles with the ring on his finger. “Truth is, Harrington, I think we let our father’s win. Like she said, we spent our entire lives being afraid to become them that we became the very things were afraid of.”

“I was terrified to face the things we did to her. I was terrified…of knowing and accepting that I made her feel the way my dad made me feel growing up.”

“Yeah, man. Me to. That’s…that’s why what happened that night happened. There wasn’t enough blow in the world to numb the pain of me physically hurting her, Steve.”

***

When they pulled up to the elementary school, you were sitting on one of the swings with your head against the chain. This is where they first met you, on the playground when they were kids. As they walked towards you, you didn’t move or make indication to acknowledge their presences.

Steve stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he smelled it, whiskey.

“Y/N, sweetheart? Are you alright? Your mom said you didn’t come home last night.”

As he knelt down to your level, Eddie noticed the ring of redness around your nose and the dilation in your eyes.

“You two aren’t supposed to be here.”, you slurred.

“Neither are you, honey. Come-Come on, we need to get you home.”

As Steve finally stepped closer, you held up your foot to stop him and pushed Eddie backwards.

“You know, the alcohol I kinda got but with the drugs…watching what it did to you, Ed, I was like…why would he do this…it can’t be that great… After trying it myself… Hehe…I feel nothing.”, you giggle.

“Baby…”

“Usually when I get sad… I just cry it out…maybe fuck some sexy guy but do you know what’s really kept me going for three years? Knowing…that you two…are suffering without me.” Your finger raises to point at them shakily as your glassy eyes glare their way. “You say every day is hard? Good. It should be. Every day you…drag your asses out of bed…drudge to your work and put on that fake smile…I hope it’s hard. I did it for 7 years… You should be sad. Neither one of you deserved me.”

Without saying a word, they both turned and headed back to the car. Thirty minutes later, your mother pulled up to the playground and brought you back home. After laying you down in your bed, she crawled in beside you and held you as you cried.

###############

“Y/N, thank you for coming back to do this. I really appreciate you taking the time and I know they do as well.”

You nodded at the doctor’s words as you continued to stare into the floor at their shoes. Steve had his hand over his mouth as he stared out the window while Eddie looked towards the door with his arms folded across his chest.

“So, um, I was thinking we could start with—”

“I couldn’t wake either of you up.”, you interjected as you continued to look at the carpet. “I came home and Eddie was on the floor by his bed. He…he didn’t respond to me so I ran to Steve, fucking shaking him and practically pulling him off the sofa but… I rode in the ambulance with him and I watched them…” A tear falls and you quickly wipe it away. “I sat by your side, Ed, and waited for hours till doctors told me you were going to be ok.”

“I kept thinking ‘What the fuck am I doing? They abandoned me and left me alone in a hospital for months. I shouldn’t be here…but I can’t leave him. I love them.’ That’s when I knew I needed to leave. I could never be like you even though it’s what you deserved. I couldn’t keep…loving you when I knew if the tables were turned…you would have left me on the bedroom floor.” Your voice cracked at your last sentence and when you finally managed to look their way both men were trying to hide tears of their own as they continued to look in opposite directions.

The doctor clears his throat as he nervously rubs his palm along his knee.

“Guys? Any response?”

“She’s right.”, Steve mumbled. “We would have left her there. Hell, if it wasn’t for her, I would have left Eddie there. I was so drunk I didn’t even know. I never thought he would…overdo it like that.”

“Me either.”, Eddie followed. “But I never thought I’d hit her either.”

His eyes find yours as you sniffle, grateful to finally hear him say and admit it. He was finally taking accountability.

“Sweetheart, you always ask why you were never enough but the truth is…”

“…Baby, we weren’t good enough for you. You deserved so much better.”

You broke then, covering your eyes as you cried. The atmosphere shifted in front of you, feeling fingers delicately grip your wrist and bring your hands back down to your lap.

“Can I hug you?”

You tackled your arms around Eddie’s neck as he lifted you from the chair and held you tightly to him. Warmth abruptly encased you as Steve hugged you both, one arm wrapped around your stomach as his other rested on his friend’s shoulders.

***

“Hey, sweetie. How was it?”, your mom asked as you walked through the door after the session.

“It was good.”

Her eyes scanned you worriedly at your timid response. “Are you ok, Y/N?”

“Yeah, mom. It was just a heavy day. I’m going to go lay down ok?”

“Ok, baby. Are you sure you don’t want to eat something?”

“Maybe later.”

As soon as your head hit the pillow on your bed, you crashed. For 10 years, you had carried everything that was theirs making it your own. Even after you left, you held on to their burdens even though you no longer had to pay for them. Hearing them say what they said and seeing the truth in their eyes was like a weight had been lifted.

They truly wanted to get better and hopefully now they could really move forward instead of being stagnate. As you drove home, you couldn’t help but feel utterly alone. Who were you without them needing you? Even in these past three years, you were still searching for who you were as an individual but they were always in the back of your mind. Maybe they always would be. That made you feel even more lonely because all you knew was their toxic sides. Who were they now?

You were still asleep when the breeze from the open window gave you a chill that ran up your spine. It suddenly stopped as you stirred at the soft sound of it closing before being followed by what sounded like shoes quietly hitting the floor.

You sighed at the smell of cologne and cigarettes that filled your room reminding you of many naughty nights when you were younger.

“Steve!”, you hiss. “You can’t…can’t…fuck…”

“Can’t what, honey?”, he slurred. “Oh, you mean this?”

You quickly covered your mouth as he slammed his hips roughly into yours, hitting that sensitive spot inside of you that had your eyes rolling.

“You have to be quiet, baby. Wouldn’t want to wake up mommy and daddy.”

You bite into your pillow as Eddie’s hand came around to press circles into your clit.

“Shhh, sweetheart. I know, I know it feels good. You can take it, pretty girl. Cum again for me, baby.”

Shouting into your pillow you do as he commands as he pounds into you harder till you feel him warm your insides. You whine at the overstimulation as he leans over your sweaty frame to grab the drugs he left lying on your bed side table.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m not done just yet.”

You bed dipped on either side of you and once again you were encased in warmth as an arm circled around you from behind and a palm rested on your cheek. Your own limbs reached out pulling him as close to you as you could making both men groan as you began subtly grinding your hips between them.

Soft lips landed on yours and the strong taste of coffee told you it was Steve, further proved when your fingers ran through his hair. As you turned to find Eddie, the other boy’s kisses gently trailed down your jaw line to your neck. Every single kiss and touch was delicate as if they were afraid you’d shatter like glass.

“Y/N, open your eyes, honey.”

“Please.”, Eddie begged when you shook your head.

When you did what they ask, you were met with Steve’s smiling face. “So beautiful. Can we take off your clothes?”

You nod as you shift on to your back, allowing each boy to undress you until you were naked before them. Steve couldn’t help but run his fingers over the scar on your stomach. You were always self-conscious about it especially when God forbid your shirt would ride up or you would be intimate with a man and someone would ask what happened. He didn’t need to ask. He already knew and it killed him every time he saw it. Before you left, after he would fuck you, Steve would slunk to the kitchen to grab the strongest drink he could find to block out the memory. Now, he lingered, letting his lips trace over the tissue as your fingers tenderly petted his head.

Eddie removed his clothing, pausing when your eyes noticed a new tattoo on his chest above his heart.

“Never tell me the odds.

August 1988—”

“From Star Wars…the three of us saw that on our first official date and this is when I became sober.”

Tilting your head, he pleasantly sighed when your lips tenderly kissed along the ink on his chest.

“Just lay back, baby. We got you.”

The metalhead’s tongue pressed against your skin and slid down to meet his friend halfway as they both gripped each of your thighs to hold you open wider for them. While Steve’s mouth wrapped around your clit, Eddie’s tongue continued to taste your body, darting in and out of you entrance making you whimper.

Their hands continued to roam until the metalhead took over so the other boy could remove his clothes as well. When he climbed back into your bed his hand petted your head as he attached his lips to your neck, sucking on your flesh, and making you moan as your pussy clenched around Eddie’s tongue.

Your fingers pressed his face deeper into you and his hands dug into your hips as he devoured you until your body trembled, clinging to them both as you came.

As if they expected everything to be the same, Steve turned to reach in the drawer by your bed and produced a bottle of lube that he passed to his friend. His palms cupped your face as he kissed your forehead.

“Freshman year my dad gave me the grown man speech. ‘Son, you’re starting high school. Time to grow up and buckle down! Your life starts now.’ He then proceeded to fuck his secretary in his office since my mom was out of town. He said MY life started now but I know he meant HIS life…how he pictured it for me being just like him. I grabbed the bottle of whiskey from our bar and hid upstairs. That was my first drink.”

He lifted your leg over his hip and you both groaned as he guided himself inside of you. Steve kissed your chin down your jawline as your head tilted back when you felt Eddie rubbing the lube between your cheeks.

“I was in town that summer before freshman year hanging out with Rick and getting some food. I tripped over something and fell against a car making the alarm blare. This woman came out and yelled at us threatening to call the cops. Rick tried to explain what happened but she didn’t care. ‘Like father like son!’. I couldn’t stop thinking about her reaction and the weed wasn’t helping… that was the first time I tried the harder drugs.”

His mouth fell open as he slowly slid his cock into your ass, gripping your waist as he kissed your shoulder blade.

You pulled them both as close to you as you could get them as they both started thrusting into you.

“I-I loved you since the moment…I met you two.” After kissing his lips, Steve panted against yours as he mewled and his eyebrows scrunched together in focus. “You were so sweet, Steve. I-I—fuck—I fell off the jungle gym…and you ran to me…helped me.”

Eddie’s arms squeezed you tighter to his chest as you turned to kiss him, pressing your forehead against his cheek as he moaned.

“You…you made me laugh, Eddie. W-When we came to the swings—mmm—you kept telling me jokes to make me…smile.”

They both pumped into you faster and you held them both as your eyes closed.

“You helped me…I never stopped trying to help you.”

Steve lopped his arm under knee, holding your leg up higher against his body to allow them to hit you in different angles as you turned to press your face into your pillow. You shook in their hands as you came.

Eddie gripped your bicep and grunted in your ear as he rolled his hips till you felt him warm your insides. Steve soon followed, groaning as he used your thigh for leverage and pounded into you till he coated your walls with his release.

They gradually pulled out of you and the metalhead used the glass of water by your bed to wet the hand towel he found in your closet to gently clean your lower half. Neither of you wanted to risk sneaking to your bathroom and being discovered by one of your parents.

“I’m sorry for ruining holidays and anniversaries because I was too drunk to care or even act right. I’m sorry for snapping at you and screaming at you for every little thing especially when you were trying to help.” Steve’s fingers brush your hair away from your face as his thumb caressed your cheek. “I’m sorry for cheating on you. The alcohol made me believe that you would do it to. I’m sorry for what happened with Glen. I couldn’t accept you being happy with anyone who wasn’t us.”

“I’m sorry for the accident. Y/N, I never should have gotten behind that wheel and I never should have left you, honey.” His voice cracked and your heart broke as you wrapped your arm around his waist. “I’m so fucking sorry for leaving you alone afterwards. I was so fucking scared because I knew it was my fault. I chose to stay home and drink instead of seeing what I had done to you. I’m sorry for being so wasted you couldn’t wake me up when you needed me. I was so fucking angry at Eddie…at the situation…I’ve never learned how to handle emotions like that… fuck…even now. I don’t know how to tell my dad to fuck off.”

His glassy eyes meet yours as he firmly holds your head in his hands.

“I am sorry, Y/N. None of what happened was your fault. You did nothing wrong to instigate any of our behavior.” Steve pulled you to his chest as you both sobbed.

Eddie waited patiently as he watched everything front of him. When you rolled over to face him, his friend extended him the same courtesy as the metalhead reached out to wipe your eyes.

“Sweetheart, to me you were always perfect. Since the day we met you, you had this light inside that just radiated from you. I spent the first part of my life in darkness and when my mom died…I thought I’d never be happy again…then you came along. Y/N, I was so terrified something was going to happen or someone was going to take you from me; from us. The drugs made me believe that by degrading you or fighting any man that even looked at you…it would help keep you here.”

“I’m sorry for calling you names and throwing things at you when I was angry because the blow just amplified those fears. It made me feel helpless. I’m sorry for frightening you and making you cry all the time with broken promises because I just…couldn’t quit.”

“I’m sorry about Glen. Because of what I said while I was high he left you and broke your heart even more. I’m sorry about abandoning you…at the accident. Steve was right, it was my idea. I had so much drugs in my pocket, when I heard the sirens I thought about myself instead of you. I didn’t want to end up in jail like my father…”

Eddie’s jaw tightened as you watched him struggle to continue. Placing your arm on his hip, you leaned in to kiss his lips hoping to comfort him.

“I’m sorry I hit you, Y/N.”, he whispered. “I so fucking stoned…I didn’t even… I should have run after you. I should have waited for you to come back home and groveled at your feet. I should have made a plan then and there to get clean. All I kept thinking about was your face and how you looked at me; the way my mom used to look at my dad after he’d hurt her. I just wanted to erase it. I couldn’t handle being like him. I’m sorry you had to find me like that and I’m so fucking sorry you had to handle that on your own. I’m so sorry.”

He held you as you cried and after a while Steve’s arm circled around you as Eddie continued petting your hair while your eyes slowly began to close.

“I forgive you.”

***

The sun gleaming through your window woke you up the next morning and you groaned as you stirred from your sleep. As you opened your eyes, you quickly realized you were alone, your eyes scanning the area till you notice a note on your nightstand with your name.

“Y/N,

We both have so much more we want to say but we are nowhere near ready to express them the way we want to. We meant what we said in therapy…you always deserved better than us. More importantly, you deserved to be happy.

While you were sleeping, we talked about a lot of things and we realized that while the three of us are doing so much better we still have a way to go. I’m quitting my job with my dad today and finally figuring out who I am. You inspired me to travel and do some soul searching on my own.

I’m taking some time off work and touring with the guys. I spent most of my life either being afraid of my dad or becoming him. Princess, you showed me it’s ok to just be Eddie Munson. I want to do something that would make my mom proud.

We wanted to wake you up and tell you this but we knew as soon as those beautiful eyes met ours we’d talk ourselves out of leaving. Truth is, honey, you still have some healing to do to.

You said you were still trying to figure out who you were without us. Maybe now, pretty girl, you can let go and finally be free.

In two years, Eddie and I will have been sober for 5 years total and we’d love to celebrate that with you. Meet us at the diner August 1993. If you don’t show up, we’ll understand. If you’re married with kids, we’d love to hear about them. No matter what, we love you and we just want you to be happy.

Steve & Eddie

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1993

Eddie showed up an hour early, bouncing his leg as he flicked his ash into the tray. The man breathed a sigh of relief when he saw a BMW pull into the parking lot and hastily stood up from the table to meet Steve halfway as he gave his friend a hug.

“Hey Harrington. Jesus, you look good.”

“Thanks, Ed. So do you, man. How have you been?”

“I’ve been alright. A few months ago, we signed with a label so the guys and I have just been recording 24/7.”

“No way! That’s amazing.”

“Yeah, thank you. What about you?”

“I’m doing ok. My dad cut me off after I left so I’ve actually been doing some odd jobs while traveling. About a year ago, I settled a bit up north and got my certification to be a counselor for people struggling with addiction.”

“Well look at you.”, Eddie chuckled.

The sound of a throat clearing got their attention and they both turned to see you standing before them with the biggest smile they had ever seen on your beautiful face. Without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around Eddie’s neck as held you to him.

“God, sweetheart, you look so beautiful.”

You turned to Steve who lifted you off your feet. “Me? Look at you two. I never would have imagined…”

The three of you scooted into the booth talking well into the evening about everything these past two years held. For the first time, no one was angry, sad, or heartbroken. For the first time since you met them, they seemed content and at peace. For that you were extremely grateful.

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@sheisjoeschateau

@peachy-bunnns

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