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milogreer · 14 days

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Grah (Milo 🥺🥺) ('send me a character' ask game!)

@darlinghowl asked: milo too!

YAAYYY HUSBAND TIME 🩷🩷 ↳ send me a character!

My first impression: i’m being so so serious when i say i had to pause milo’s first audio pretty much immediately after he started talking because his accent made me blush LMFAO it’s like he was built for me in a fuckin lab. werewolf with a ny/nj accent, the cockiness and bitchiness with just that hint of a soft side near the end when he talks about wanting dahlia to stay safe, and the FLIRTINESS my god. and that was ONE AUDIO LMAO that’s not even getting into everything else he has going on that felt tailored to me (*cough*heatingupinthebedroom*cough*) 🫠💖

My impression now: unchanged baby he has been my number one since day one!!! not that this is surprising to anyone given my blog theme 🤣 i may not talk about him all the time but he’s never losing top spot in my heart. i’ve gotten butterflies from a handful of moments across the redactedverse but nothing that stuck with me as hard as the panic attack audio did, and he still makes me kick my feet and twirl my hair whenever he gets all sweet 💘 he’s truly the redacted love of my life

A favorite thing: as a massive horror media enjoyer, i think it’s so cute that he’s a little scaredy cat when it comes to ghosts and demons. the gameplay vids are super immersive for me bc whenever he jumps at something i start giggling and then he tells sweetheart to shut up for also giggling LMAO

Least favorite thing: nothing. he’s the most perfect man ever. actually no least favorite thing is that he doesn’t talk abt his family enough !! i wanna know more about his family life so badly after the “worried about you” audio 😫 i wanna know more about marie other than that she likes ghostbusters and nags his ear off when he gets himself hurt and i wanna really dig into his feelings for his previously alcoholic/gambling addict father

Favorite interaction they have with another: AHHH THE ASHER MOUNTAIN INCIDENT. ok ok i’ve talked abt this before but i’m gonna say it again bc it always bears repeating. this was i think the first time we’ve heard about him shifting after regaining the ability post-inversion and it made me actually cry bc it was just two best friends having stupid fun together as shifters 😭😭 like even though milo came out of it injured he still got to wolf out and fuck around with asher and that makes me sooo happy for him after suffering through those 5-6 months being unable to shift

A character that I wish they would interact with more: DARLIN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE erik i’m on my knees!!! darlin’s gotten audios with david and asher, when will it be milo’s turn!! i’ve thought a lot about them as teens and how they got on and how they navigated being sort of the odd ones out wrt their family dynamics vs david and asher’s + how the pack meeting with darlin went ☹️ i need them to get a one on one audio

A headcanon: aggro is a black cat that milo adopted from a shelter specifically because of the stigma surrounding black cats. people think they’re unlucky or evil or whatever but aggro is the sweetest little thing and he was just a little baby who had been there for probably a month or two and when milo came around, there was an instant connection 🥺 i also think that if he wasn’t already a registered ESA then they definitely would’ve gotten it done post-inversion. milo doesn’t typically take him anywhere but sometimes sweetheart will take him with them to the office; he even has a cute little ESA vest 🥰

A song: this is so hard because i have a handful of good ones… one i don’t think i’ve posted before is just what i needed by the cars! really early relationship vibes, i like it a lot 💕

An unpopular opinion: [looks around cautiously before leaning close to the mic and whispering] i don’t think he’s into being called daddy. MAYBE I’M BIASED because i don’t usually vibe with it myself, but i just don’t see it. however i think if you called him “sir” you’d both be locked up in the bedroom for several hours 🤷🏼‍♀️

#THANK YOU BOTH 🩷🩷🩷#asks #qhoaaa #courtney #redacted audio #milo

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ruegarding · 6 days

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hello! I hope your having a good day! If you don't mind me asking, what is your opinion on the Cupid Scene in Hoo? And if you could how would you change it?

my opinion on the cupid scene…well, i don't think a traumatic coming out scene is automatically bad. the problem i have w it is that rick capitalized on shock value instead of good writing. rick retconned a bunch of things to make nico alone and miserable so that he could have this scene, and it was completely unnecessary. ppl can have friends without coming out. and, as i’ve repeatedly said, the way hoo is written is literally a repeat of his arc in pjo but worse, because we’re acting like important events in pjo didn’t happen in a series that’s supposed to be a sequel to pjo and rick is inconsistent so the payoff is questionable.

the solution is…good writing. creating a cohesive and intriguing plotline where this scene is either necessary or scrapped if it isn’t.

thus begins an unnecessarily deep dive into all the retcons, inconsistencies, and general what-the-fuckery of nico’s arc in hoo bc i’m the verbose king and we've accidentally stumbled abt something i have a lot to say abt.

first retcon. in son, frank explicitly says that nico does not make him nervous and describes nico as mysterious. not weird, creepy, off-putting, or anything similar. and nico is! he is clearly hiding things and shows up infrequently. this is a neutral description, and frank goes on to say that pluto’s powers, and specifically the underworld, isn’t enough to make him dislike pluto or nico.

also this, showing nico is comfortable enough around frank:

but then in hoh, frank thinks going somewhere with nico, alone, is terrifying.

at worst, frank would’ve felt awkward. they’ve never had to talk alone bc nico is at camp jupiter for hazel and doesn’t have any reason to talk to frank by himself. if frank didn’t want to be alone w nico bc of that, it’d make sense. but that’s not what’s said or implied! and nothing has happened! nico got kidnapped, they saved him, and since then he’s been chilling on the boat, exactly as weird as before, if a little more understandably distressed. like, nothing happened to change frank’s opinion this drastically. even the difference between pluto and hades (wealth vs death) doesn’t matter bc nico uses his powers in son. also frank literally summons a skeleton guy in son and hazel is a zombie, like…

(the source isn’t important but i've been quoting these five seconds for years)

oh! and that’s not all, it gets worse!

these scenes from hoh are incredibly infantilizing. why are we treating nico like a feral dog that needs to be domesticated??? yikes. and once again, it’s not true! nico was fine talking w ppl in pjo (if a bit over-enthusiastic). and then in son he was perfectly civil and was fine having the conversation abt the quest. his issue w ppl was that his powers/parentage put ppl off, and, even in son, that he had to keep a secret.

nico is perfectly capable of speaking like a normal person and working as part of a team (see: final botl battle, final tlo battle, the sword of hades). like, nico’s struggle in hoh should be 1) that ppl are calling him creepy behind his back (and therefore has nothing to do w his social skills) and/or 2) that he just survived an incredibly traumatic experience and is understandably withdrawn. neither of these are properly addressed and instead the implication is that nico is hiding himself bc he’s gay and everything will be solved if he accepts himself.

second retcon. percy…as i’ve said many times before, percy explicitly calls nico his friend in tlo.

this immediately makes hoo trying to act like they don’t know each other and were never close a retcon. they were friends, they saw each other frequently, nico made silly jokes w percy…and we’re ignoring all of this in hoo.

i've talked abt this previously (in response to tsats), but nico is the one putting distance between him and percy. percy reached out to nico repeatedly thru pjo.

when percy notices that nico excludes himself, percy finds a private place to talk to nico and assures him that percy wants him around and offers solutions to his discomfort (this is not percy’s responsibility. percy is a child). when nico insists that he won’t stay, percy sees it from nico’s perspective and, instead of forcing nico to do something against his will that may totally backfire, says “i hope we don’t have to be enemies,” leaving room for nico to decide whether he’s willing to be friends.

bc percy understands the root of nico’s issue (that no matter the accommodations made at camp, there’s always going to be the implicit message that he doesn’t belong there), he addresses it and uses his wish to make sure that nico has a home at camp.

and when nico tries to prove he’s useful, percy proves he would’ve invited him in whether nico was or not. bc he thinks nico deserves to be a kid.

“i wonder if [nico] had ever had a birthday party,” percy thinks at his own birthday party where he didn’t invite his friends bc he felt it was too much of an inconvenience, in a story where he never had friends prior to these ppl he didn’t invite, and the only person he had for twelve years of his life was his own mother. and percy uses his own loneliness to empathize w how lonely nico is.

percy is not some distant figure nico is idolizing. he's a kid trying his best to care for another kid at a time where no one else did, while experiencing his own trauma. all of their hang-ups exist bc of that.

going back to their relationship in hoo, even trying to make percy uncomfortable w nico’s powers (and therefore not wanting to associate w nico) doesn’t work bc percy has gone on record and said he thinks some of nico’s powers are cool and has neutral responses to others, not to mention percy is also a big three kid who makes other ppl wary (i could write a whole meta on how what percy finds disturbing w nico’s powers is directly tied to what percy finds disturbing w his own powers, but i’ll restrain myself. please clap).

and if that wasn’t enough, the entire reason percy stood up to hera in botl is bc she was willing to let nico die specifically bc he doesn't fit in bc of those powers.

this plotline was tired before it even began.

you could argue that all of this changed w nico’s betrayal in tlo. but then why didn’t percy tell anybody when it happened in tlo (annabeth would’ve reacted to it if he had)? why did percy trust nico to come when he called? why didn’t any of percy’s animosity come out afterwards at camp? and in the throne room, percy didn’t have to single nico out w his wish. he didn’t have to watch nico to make sure he was settling in. but he did. and because he did, any writing that suggests percy doesn't trust or care abt nico bc of that is bad writing. maybe rick forgot this, but u can be angry w and hurt by the ppl you love and still love them.

even the justification that nico lied in son isn’t good enough to completely change their relationship, bc it’s pretty clear why nico lied and percy says he can’t stay angry at nico when they rescue him, and let me remind u, anger is a core part of percy's character. while nico lying might be enough for characters like leo and jason, who have no rapport w him, to doubt him, it’s not enough for percy. and why are we so obsessed w dismantling percy and nico’s friendship anyway? why is that necessary to the story? like i said before, ppl can have friends without coming out. isolating the only queer character (at the time) isn’t necessary.

this conflict doesn’t even work in hoo bc their distance is still one-sided…

when did percy not give nico a second chance in hoo? the only times they’ve interacted prior to this was when percy remembered nico in son and tried to talk to him and then when they saved his life. and then nico brushes off percy's gratitude and tells him to back off. this is not nico idolizing percy who doesn't care abt him. this is percy reaching out and yet again nico putting distance between them.

and, obviously, this doesn’t work at all w pjo when the entirety of botl exists, you know, where percy chose to trust and protect nico and then went out of his way to make sure nico knew percy held none of nico’s anger against him. it’d be one thing if nico was supposed to be wrong, but considering how there’s an entire arc in hoo abt jason being the first person to trust nico, and tsats seriously acts like percy only ever talked to nico when he needed something, it’s safe to say this comes from a place of stupidity.

ok. this sections getting long, so i moved the it was stupid to have percy give jason a reason to doubt nico section to a new post. but know that i'm aware and i think it's stupid.

back to the point of all these retcons w percy. there's nothing in hoo that necessitates changing percy and nico's relationship from pjo. while percy in hoo is never cruel to nico, they just act like strangers for some reason. so, it's changed for no reason and it's written poorly.

sigh. and then all of chb is retconned (or recycled if you’re feeling generous).

the ppl at camp accept him while his cabin gets built. pretty nice. then in boo nico reveals they got tired of him after a week–which is still summer–despite there being an influx of kids from all descents, some of whom would be weird or uncomfortable or whatever this justification is. that’s not even mentioning how percy’s own experiences (remember how he was ostracized…multiple times…) should have made them more accepting of nico.

why…was this necessary at all…? especially when u have an entirely different camp that treats nico as weird bc they didn’t have that good experience w him? this is really what gets me. If rick wanted to be lazy and repeat nico’s arc, he could’ve done so without retconning things.

for example, with the seven, leo, piper, jason, and maybe annabeth (she doesn’t have much to say abt nico in pjo), i could understand having animosity towards nico, as well as camp jupiter, but retconning established relationships to make ur only (at the time) queer character isolated and miserable only to then have his coming out be violent and traumatic is. well. bad! especially when the person who is w him for that experience is not someone he has built any sort of camaraderie w. nico isn’t choosing to trust jason, he’s being forced to.

and the whole nico-needs-to-learn-to-trust-ppl plot doesn’t work anyway bc of rick’s inconsistencies.

jason has a moment much like frank where he doesn’t want to go anywhere w nico bc nico is so weird and scary. nico has every right to pull himself away from ppl who treat him like he’s got something contagious. and there’s more:

“since when does jason defend nico,” as in they have shit on nico before and jason has not, in the past, defended nico. as in nico had every reason to not trust jason prior to this bc everyone, including jason, were talking shit behind his back. why are we acting like nico is being unreasonable? oh no, y’all are talking behind my back…clearly it’s my fault bc i push everyone away and that has nothing to do w ur behavior or anything…yes this is good writing.

and we’re supposed to believe that jason (and reyna and hedge and will) is the first person to be kind/reach out to nico, but we have this scene from botl where percy comforted nico and gave him a piece of his childhood back:

and this is after percy cleared the air to make sure nico knew he didn’t hate him and offered to make accommodations for nico at camp and then respected and understood why nico wouldn’t want to. like,

woah, you’re telling me that a character reaches out to nico after a traumatic experience in an act of kindness and this helps nico grow as a person? and it happens multiple times?! yeah, apparently rick and fandom have completely forgotten abt this (also hazel exists???). they’re even phrased similarly! “maybe it’s time to take a risk and embrace something you’ve pushed away.” furthermore, they both support their point by helping nico, percy by inviting nico into his home to enjoy cake and ice cream, jason by drinking from the chalice. once more w feeling: nico has been loved the entire goddamn time!

i get what rick was trying to accomplish w the whole cupid scene concept. which is that it’s okay to be gay and that it can feel very “othering” to be gay. nico has to accept himself in order to make friends. that’s what this

and this

are trying to say, right, but this doesn’t work when you’ve blatantly retconned established relationships to have characters push nico away for his powers/parentage/whatever. nico’s struggle is not an internal issue that can be solved by accepting himself, it’s an external issue caused by how other ppl treat him for his powers/parentage (which he has never been shown to reject btw).

the thing is, the powers-as-queerness metaphor only works when you don’t have, you know, characters who aren’t queer going through similar ostracization. not only was percy ostracized at chb in tlt for his powers/parentage (very similar to nico!), percy has a moment in this same book where his powers terrify annabeth, and then piper in the next book, in which he, you know, lets himself almost die to poison bc he feels like he “deserved it” for using those powers. again, this is not queer-coding for percy (unless…?). moreover, like i said, nico doesn’t reject his powers, so the whole queer-coding w powers and needing to accept himself is already iffy (...rejecting powers...hold the fuck up…percy isn’t…unless…). even the out-of-time metaphor doesn’t work bc it’s something he shares w hazel, who is not canonically queer (unless…?!). so, already, we’re on shaky metaphorical ground. all of this could work, theoretically, if combined w strong writing, but combined w the retconning and inconsistencies, this plotline makes no cohesive sense.

we’re supposed to believe that nico is the one pushing everyone away while they are secretly super supportive while simultaneously being shown that everyone talks and thinks shit that affirms nico’s thoughts abt them that makes him want to pull away. and then in boo we completely ignore that these ppl have been pushing nico away and suddenly everyone (reyna, hedge, will, etc) is supportive.

pick a struggle!

also nico’s coming out scene in boo sucked (yeah this is the segue).

this is the culmination of nico’s arc in hoo. he’s finally accepted himself enough to speak the truth without pressure. we ruined percy and nico’s established relationship for this. and they don’t even have a conversation. then nico walks over to will bc percy, “regular guy” percy, is “not [his] type.” don’t look too deep into that.

so, how would i fix the cupid scene? well.

there were a million different ways to write a better arc for nico and earn that cupid scene. for example, rick could’ve stuck to a plotline.

the trust plotline could’ve been good. bc this exact thing is what causes the accidental kidnapping situation in tlo. nico doesn’t trust percy enough to tell him the truth and chooses to manipulate and lie to percy instead. this choice is what sets up their conflict bc percy views this as betrayal (something that’s important to a guy who’s fatal flaw is loyalty).

it’s also interesting bc nico does choose to trust ppl in hoo; he eats the pomegranate seeds despite not knowing that someone is coming for him, he just trusts that someone will (we’re ignoring what boo says abt nico’s tartarus experience bc fun fact! that is also retconned). and it pays off, bc not only does he get saved, we see hazel and percy even willing to challenge the other members of the seven to make sure he gets saved. so, it’s not a lesson he’s already learned, it’s a lesson he’s learning. but, going back to the main question here, would the cupid scene still be necessary? was being dragged into tartarus and almost dying not enough spectacle?

regardless, my biggest problem w the cupid scene in all of this is that it gives the impression that u have to come out in order to have ppl love u and trust u. a much better message to send is that the ppl who love u will love u before and after u come out. no isolation necessary.

#shows up over a month late w an essay-length response as to why nico’s arc in hoo sucked #are u not entertained?#nico #rr crit #hoo crit #answered #min talks pjo #i dealt w the horror of hoo by making memes #also hi! just realized i never said that lol

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ariscats · 8 months

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Jameson Hawthorne POV in The Brothers Hawthorne, why so different?

Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of ppl who dint liked or enjoyed jamesons pov in the new book, the brothers hawthorne, as it felt “rushed” or “flat” to some ppl, and im not here to try to change or fight w you, only to explain why it felt like this.

If you just want the reason, its bc the emotional side of Jameson wasnt worked with bc it wasnt necessary to the purpose of the book and the new triology, but there is an explanation for this.

First of all, Jamesons character already went thought his character arc in the main triology, so when JLB was writing his pov, she dint “care” at all for his emotions, only on the characters on his plot line. Its hard to say now as the new triology (the grandest game) isnt out yet but you cannot say that the characters on jamesons game (the adult ones) wont appear again, JLB let too many open windows to not.

We also have to understand that TBH wasnt necessarily a book on its own in question of character and plot ( i swear to god the day i find the mtf that said it was ok to sell TBH as a standalone) but a rl long prologue to the new saga, so my theory is that when TGG come out, jameson plot line will make much more sense as it will actually have some use.

In my opinion, this is what JBL needed to do, and was thinking, when she wrote the book:

- need to finish grayson character arc as it will be essential to the next saga (he’ll be one of the mc there)

- need to introduce the characters from the Devils Mercy and their secrets as we’ll need to already know they exist for The Grandest Game

In conclusion, Jamesons pov dint rl need its emotional part bc, theoretically, that part was already finished in the main saga. Was it rl finished? For the purpose of what we were presented in tig (the trauma of his relasionship w emily) yes. (but it was rl funny how she wrote 3 book abt jameson and grayson trauma w emily only to mention it twice in flashbacks on their books)

But for the purpose of his family trauma? his so called granddaddy issues? no. So JBL needed to fix that, but i think its clear that she prioritized the plot over his family (mother and fathers side) problems, but that can also be explained.

JBL needed to write two very different plot lines with as little pages as she could, bc lets be honest, no ones wants to read +500 pages books, specially coming from the TIG universe, that is sold as a fast read bc of its short chapters. That means she needed to present all of the things that will be important to the next book AND she needed to finish Grayson character arc as 1- itll be important to the next book 2- there as a popular request to it since THL, and it grew so much after TFG, she just needed to work a LOT w him and w that, jameson got put aside and his pov often felt more of an observer than a character.

honestly? i dont think its that bad as ppl are talking, i see and understand the reasons that ppl dint liked it but i spend to much time overanalyzing it to not like it.

not relevant to this post but if you read until here just be aware that the understanding i have for jameson “hate” in TBH, i dont have for whoever is talking abt my n1 girl Avery Grambs. Im sorry if you thought she was “boring” in this book, again this is your opinion and blablabla and genuine not trying to offend you, but she wasnt. im sorry, she just wasnt, it was simply not her book.

and again this isnt an insult to ANYONE, dont feel offended by anything i said, im not trying to change your mind or fight w you.

#the inheritance games #the brothers hawthorne #jameson hawthorne #avery grambs #grayson hawthorne #the final gambit #averyjameson

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mad-c1oud · 17 days

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MAD. I have so many things i love abt your fics. in no order:

The panick from elotes when he sees charlie die from dehydration and he decides ‘fuck emotional maturity’ !!!!! OH GOD ITS SO GOOD

I think CONSTANTLY about when charlie was like ‘you dont have to call me slime, it isnt, like, reserved’ and they talk and etoiles goes ‘oh and you can say my name right’ and slime goes WHAT. Oh god i think abt it like daily and have a giggle

In fake it till you make it when charlie is calling etoiles all the nicknames and antoine just pretends like nothing is happening ❤️❤️

on the topic of fitymi, THE KISS GLASS FACTORY SCENE. RENT FUCKING FREE. The way you wrote it and then THE COPS KNOWING LMAOOO IT DIDNT WORK. Roier chanting “mi dinero!” Bc he won the bet is CHEF KISS

when etoiles casually kisses charlie and leaves, phil’s reaction when he realizes is GOLD KKKKK. “Is that why charlie has been blowing up my phone?” And etoiles going “i kissed and now i am telling” AGH

The intro (?) scene to immi where etoiles is just like ‘its okay its okay its okay he doesnt need items, hes really doing just fine–’ so he doesn’t rip charlies armor off where hes standing is HILARIOUS

“He is here. He is ravenous” then charlie dying to eater of suns was my favorite bc ITS SO IN CHARWCTER LMAO. HE WOULD.

How etoiles breaks a million avocados as baghera pulls out all the arrows from charlie. You can //feel// the need to protect coursing through his veins and poor bro has to make dinner

How youve written TWO scenes where etoiles brain fails upon imagining charlie in eyeliner. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE (i am too)

Not a apecific scene, but the (in immi) motif of charlie not feeling like enough so he always has to bring //something//.

GOD THE ENTIRE MOST RECENT CHAPTER OF IMMI. STAN FERAL HYBRID. STAN THEIR ONE SAFE PERSON. HAHAIXHSNAJAJJSUXIXIWWNKEODOEPQPEI

The immi scene where etoiles tells charlie about the bug :(

God how //unserious// charlie is about being hurt (and probably etoiles but they have different ways of unserious). Its so true to his character but i still wanna just SHAKE HIM so he doesn’t crack jokes //while he’s bleeding out//

The scene where etoiles rushes charlie back. It feels so rushed but not like you wanted to get it over with, just… like everything is a blur to etoiles while hes doing this. Like he remembers the steps he took but not what he felt when he took them. (Also how he gives himself five seconds to scream into a pillow. Felt that. STAN.)

Him asking for two cookies from phil bc he is ‘fading fast’ and when phil shows up he pretty much (albiet accidently) tunes oht phil bc he //cant look away from charlie–//

That stupid fucking cod elotes put in the barh idk if it has a name but I have a love/hate relation with it. I wonder if they kept it.

“Its not a waste with you” KILL ME THEYRE IN LOVE

When etoiles tells him to say if he feels hurt, then charlie starts crying and e is like “eh! Im so sorry what did i do you didnt say anything–” and charlies like eueuue youre so nice

Charlie purring… yes… YESSS…. (Love it when anything and everything hybrid purrs 💖)

“My cucumber” ….

When charlie pretends to be etoiles boyfriend to get into the hospital (fitymi) and the nurses are like uh this guy named charlie- and elotes goes “hehehehhhh yeahh charlie. He’s my bro” and the nurses take that as dating (BECAUSE WHAT ELSE IS IT????)

sorry tjis was so long i just had a chance to rant abt your writing and BY GODS NAME DID I TAKE IT

💖i hope you fee better

DUDE 😭😭😭

This is the best thing I’ve ever read. People always comment on chapters and fics in that moment they read them usually, so I’m always curious what sticks with people weeks later, what occupies their brain again and again long after reading…

Reading all this had me smiling so fucking big it Hurts oh my good you are so sweet dude

To answer your question: Charlie kept the cod Paul! It lives in the little pond he has in the greenhouse. It was supposed to be mentioned during the birthday chapters, but I reworked a lot of content and it not longer fit nicely so I just took it out for now. The feesh will be seen again…

The nicknames in fake it were my favorite part. I got like three sentences in and was like— hold on Idea—

And yeah Charlie giving things to Étoiles in immi, that comes a personal habit. Qcharlie has been broken down time and time again that this amount of unwavering kindness feels illegal to accept. He’s had to pay the price for so much, so sure this too right? Étoiles wants to shake him <3

YEHAHHH THE NAME THING IN IMMI!!! Man I needed a way to ween Étoiles into calling him Charlie that was just causal cause that’s Boring, and I wanted to acknowledge the face that irl, ccChatlie didn’t know how to pronounce his name at first either lmao

i like Charlie in eyeliner, sue me….

One of my favorite chapters might just be A Bandage. From the other islanders to the cooking to karaokeduo to the Chittering!!!!! Idk that one holds a special place in my heart <3

Also fun fact: I had like, 4 other fake dating scenarios I jotted down for fake it but I was worried the fic would turn into immi which also started as a 5+1 so I scrapped some ideas and kept a it short and sweet. kinda regret it and wish I could rewrite it but I still like what it turned in to

Man reading my own work through your comments is really nice. Gives me a better appreciation for what I’m creating haha

Thank you sm for all this, it means a lot and it’s never too long trust me <333

#I will not cry I will not cry I will not cry I will NOT—#:')#mad box #skiter-cat-slaying #long post

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honestlywtfisgoingon · 2 years

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When You Weren’t Looking — pt. 8/?

PROFESSOR!OBI-WAN KENOBI x READER

PART 7

an au where you and you literature professor realize you both have things to learn about love, and yourselves, outside of class. (as we all know, this can only be done through a big scoop of angst and a smutty cherry on top)

description: ladies and gentlemen, theys and thems, it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for - me but also anakin probably

warnings: language, v mild smut

a/n: guys guys guys i’ve had this written out for so long (i have a bunch of chapters written out of order) it was one of the first few i wrote bc i needed the self fulfillment lmao and i’m still giddy abt it.

reblogs + feedback welcome :)

words: 2,806

Ever since the mending of yours and Professor Kenobi’s relationship, his schedule had shifted to where it curiously aligned with yours.

Every other time you went to the library, he was also there, sitting at one of the little tables doing his work or perusing the shelves for himself. During lunches he had taken to going to the campus coffee shop instead of eating in his office, having found a mutual love for your favorite pastry that you often went there to buy. Every time you saw him you went over to greet him and a conversation was usually struck up.

He told you he had been frequenting these places more in order to escape the increasing stuffiness of his office. You offered to help clean it again for him but he refused, saying he couldn’t ask you to go through all that trouble. Even though your offer was sincere, you were a little relieved he turned it down. If he found his office more agreeable to work on again, you would miss out on these little meetings that were slowly becoming habitual.

Even when you spent time as his assistant-of-sorts, it wasn’t the same as seeing him in a more open setting where he subconsciously became more relaxed, the environment not holding him in an exclusively work-related mindset. It was also nice to know that even when you weren’t his only option for company in a room filled with just the two of you, he still enjoyed and even initiated talking to you.

Evidently, things had truly moved on as Anakin and he made their wait out to the bar on Friday night again and you spent a good part of your shift talking and laughing with them in between serving drinks. You were beginning to get comfortable in your relationship with him, despite the fluttering feeling you still got at times. It was moments when his eyes lingered on yours in class or when he let out a particularly full laugh that you felt that stirring in your heart, always punctuated with a twinge of pain. Still, it was becoming more and more manageable to where you had hope that your feelings might fade altogether if you constantly kept yourself in check.

The most dangerous territory for you was in dreams. While you were unconscious, it was hard to reign your feelings back in, and your mind was currently swirling on one of those fantasies.

Obi-Wan’s hands were splayed over the nude skin of your back, large and hot. Even though both of your bodies were blazing, his touch still gave you chills. A small whimper caught in your throat as he began to nip at your neck, his beard scraping against deliciously at your smooth skin. The sensation only made you pull him closer, grabbing at all of him that was available to you.

“Oh, Obi please don’t ever let me go,”

“I could never, y/n,” the warmth you felt suddenly disappeared, but Obi-Wan continued to say your name. “y/n. y/n,” his voice seemed much louder those times, and it was then that you realized it wasn’t in your head.

You opened your eyes from your nap and saw two oxfords on the grass next to you as you lay in the quad. Following the path of the legs attached to them, you were met with Professor Kenobi’s face looking down on you with a soft expression. His body blocked out the sun for you, creating a sort of halo around him that had you second-guessing whether or not you were still in dreamland. He bent down on one knee to level himself with you as you blinked away some of your sleep and all thoughts of him and the comfort of his lap.

“y/n, would you like to accompany me to my office?”

“Am I in trouble?” you cocked an eyebrow and sat up on your forearms.

“Hardly,” he smiled and offered his hand to help you stand. Once you took it, it was hard to let go even after you were fully upright. It felt like there were magnets in your fingertips begging for the two of you to stay in contact. When they inevitably dropped to your side once more, the feeling of being pulled towards each other remained. Luckily the space between you didn’t have to grow too far as you walked side by side in the direction of his office, your shoulders brushing against one another’s now and again.

You stopped in front of the office door, taking a step back to give Obi-Wan room to unlock it. After fiddling with the keys, it swung open to a new layer of clutter that wasn’t there the last time you were. He rubbed the back of his neck and grimaced slightly, forgetting that the state of his office had worsened since you stopped coming by to tidy it up.

Well, he obviously did need my help.

Nevertheless, he ushered you in and pulled out a chair for you to sit in. Back in your usual seat, Obi-Wan across from you with the large slab of wood in between; the deja vu was weird but not unpleasant.

“So professor, what’s on your mind?” you leaned your elbow on the table, not missing the way his adam's apple went up and down as he swallowed harshly.

“I feel as though I keep giving you speeches,” he chuckled and shook his head.

“Well it is your job to lecture,” you smiled at him.

“Yes but I don’t want to lecture you— I just want to talk to you,”

“Well go ahead,”

“I'm extremely glad to have you back in my life again,” you smiled at his words, “And for you to offer friendship to me is invaluable,” he paused but your expression encouraged him to go on. “To have you back in my life again is…is…thank you. But there is something I need you to know so that I can be accountable as well,” his eyes turned serious as he leaned in, the volume of his voice retreating into his throat as though he was almost scared to speak the words. “You…there’s something about you that makes me forget myself when I’m around you. I don’t know what you make me feel…it’s intoxicating, and it’s like nothing I've ever experienced before. I crave to be around you, and I know all of this to be wrong,”. You didn’t know if your heart was racing so fast that each beat was now indistinguishable from the next, or if it had just stopped altogether.

“Is it?” the words came out of your mouth without a thought. Your voice was so small that he might not have heard them if he wasn’t scraping for your every reaction.

“What?”

“Is it wrong?” you repeated slightly louder. You were becoming more aware of what you were saying but you didn’t want to be. The logical route would be to put an end to whatever was happening in favor of upholding your decision to pursue an exclusively platonic relationship with him, but the fulfillment of all your desires was so painfully close that you couldn’t help but let yourself chase after it.

“I'm afraid so,” he clasped his hands together and lowered his eyes. It seemed he was looking down at them but all he could see in his mind was you, the too beautiful and too out-of-reach woman in front of him.

“Then I've made the same mistake,” his eyes flicked up immediately, head still lowered as though he was afraid to commit to your gaze again. He was doing the opposite of you, trying to be sensible, and he knew it would be impossible if he allowed himself to get lost in your features again.

“You mean you…you have no idea what I would do just for you to say you feel the same,” it sounded so desperate and regretful and the same time.

“You don’t have to do anything,” your hand was subconsciously drawn toward his. His body reflexively reciprocated the action but before he reached you he froze and tried to pull back. Immediately, you stopped by placing your other hand on top of his. You both paused, and you made the ballsiest move you’ve ever made in your entire life. You lifted his hand so that the back of it was pressed to your cheek and placed a kiss on his fingertips with the corner of your lips. “Is this wrong?”

“I…I don’t know anymore,” he faltered at your touch, any objections he had melting away slowly. He took a gulp of air before he stood up and told you to come over to him. You were shaky as you rose from your chair and took the few steps you needed to meet him at the side of the desk.

“y/n, you must know that I want this. Please know that I want this,” he whispered and you nodded. “But it’s not just the rules either,” his hesitant words contradicted the way he was slowly subtracting the space in between you.

“What else could there be?” wrapped your hands around one of his again and pressed another small kiss on his knuckles. He tilted his head and looked at you, utterly enamored.

“Well for starters, I'm nearly 16 years your senior and—“

“Nice math,” you relished in the reaction you brought him; his eyes crinkling upwards as he chuckled softly. It made his already charming features appear even more so.

“Only you could make me laugh while my heart is about to beat out of my chest,”

“I'm glad,” you smiled widely.

“I don’t know what you do to me, but I can’t help but dream. I still can’t tell if this is real or another one,”

“It's real Obi”

“Is this truly what you want? Are you okay with this? Are you…oh darling,” desire spilled out of that last word. You had followed his lead, inching closer to him while you talked as well. Now you were nearly chest to chest.

You could feel everything. You could feel the sharp breath he took in. You could feel the heat coming from his cheeks. You could feel his pent-up desire against your lips as he suddenly cupped your face to pull you in for a harsh kiss. It took the rest of your body a second to respond, unlike your lips which had instantly parted so he could place his bottom lip in between yours. His lips were soft even though his kisses were not. You pressed your mouth harder into his as well, the both of you communicating your desperation through these actions.

Your hands could not remain stationary for long as both of you slid them over one another’s bodies, your arms, your waist, maybe a little lower than that… Your arms unavoidably got caught on each other’s during your feverish explorations, but the clumsiness of your movements didn’t matter as long as you were able to touch each other, feel each other, have as much of each other as you could. You slid your hands up his neck and tugged at the back of his hair and felt a rumble from the bottoms of his throat as he stumbled backward, fumbling behind him for his chair while his lips were still attached to yours.

Once he could feel that it was turned around properly, he pulled back from you to sit down. It was only for a split second that you parted before he was tugging you down into his lap, but it was enough for you to realize you had barely gotten any air since you’d been kissing, but it didn’t matter since air isn’t what you needed right now. What you needed right now was for him to keep doing exactly what he was doing as he bit into your lower lip and pulled your waist Impossibly closer to him as you arched your back, causing you to brush up against the bulge in his pants. He let out another quiet grown and pulled back with an embarrassed expression.

“Sorry, I mean you can’t exactly blame me, maker you’re so lovely, especially like this i—“ you pressed a kiss to his lips, softer this time, full of subtle affirmation instead of need. His usual cool and confident demeanor had diminished and left him feeling completely vulnerable. That sacrifice was one he made willingly in order to bond himself to you. It was easy to display a more controlled persona when you didn’t feel obligated to please anyone, but right now he was in unfamiliar territory, wanting nothing but to please.

“I'm flattered, Professor,” you said with a sweet smile as you ground your hips into his again. His breath hitched but he was smiling now. He tilted his head and slid his hand up your neck and up to the back of your head, pulling you into another kiss. There was something about the way he kept pulling you into him, it wasn’t forceful, it was firm but almost…graceful. Like he was leading you in a dance.

His hands were now gripping your rolling hips as he bucked up into you in response, and now it was your turn for a moan to slip past your lips. He pressed a finger against your lips.

“Quiet darling,” he whispered as he slipped his fingers past your lips and into your mouth. You were more than willing to take them, hollowing out your cheeks and swirling your tongue around them.

“I'd love nothing more than to hear your pretty noises but they’re not for anyone else who could be walking by,” you tilted your head back, not breaking eye contact, letting his fingers slip out of your mouth. A string of your saliva was still connected to them as he pulled them away. Your eyes opened a little as he pushed them into his mouth, tasting what you had left on them. He pulled them out and wiped them on the thigh of his trousers. You leaned down to kiss him again, barely brushing your lips against his before he was picking you up off him and placed you to the side.

You were a little alarmed at his sudden actions but were quick to make yourself look unsuspicious once he jerked his head towards the echo of footsteps outside his office. The knob turned on the door and you were already facing towards the bookshelf on the back wall, pretending to organize things you were hoping to hide your still heavy breathing and the flush you had assumed was on your face.

“I was— oh hey y/n,” Anakin said as he stepped into the room, hopefully, none the wiser. You turned your head to give him an awkward nod but kept your back towards him. Smooth. When you turned your head you saw Obi-Wan still staring very intently at a blank document on his laptop. He ran a hand nervously through his hair.

“Sorry, Anakin, what were you saying? I Was just very focused when you walked in,”

You couldn’t help but smile a little and you’re sure that you saw his eyes flick to you at the same moment.

“I was just saying, um,” Anakin paused and the tension in the room was dialed to 11. You didn’t see it but Anakin sent a pointed glance your way then faced Obi-Wan with raised eyebrows and a smirk on his face.

“Anakin,” he said sternly

“Yes well, I've finished grading those papers you asked me to, and I was gonna go get coffee, and I was wondering if you want some tea?” You might’ve admired how sweet it was of him if he didn’t interrupt such an intimate moment.

“Very considerate of you Anakin, but no thank you,”

“Ok, y/n?” you had already turned around to face him by then

“Can you just get me water? I’m super thirsty”

“Yeah sorting books will really tire you out,” he smirked at Obi-Wan.

“Thanks and shut up, Anakin,” you retorted. You knew his comment was sarcastic but didn’t think he meant anything else by it. Obi-Wan certainly did.

“Yeah, I'll pass. Be back in a bit and I'll get a croissant for you Obi. Before it’s too late and you’re hangry,” he said as he turned around to go and place your orders.

“Ah thinking ahead I see. Glad to see you do listen to my advice” Obi-Wan said.

“Self-preservation” Anakin shrugged and walked out the door.

You looked at Obi-Wan who was still tense and let out a small giggle. His shoulders relaxed in response and he had a small smile. You both turned back to your work, feigning concentration as you both knew the other was recounting what had just happened. You came to one thought: man fuck you Anakin.

PART 9

tags-lmk if u wanna be added

@bakerstreethound @heyhawtdawgs @mcbenson25-blog @heyitsaloy @stanny-uwu @venus-armote @ohworm-writes @songoficecreamandfireworks

#obi wan kenobi #obi wan #star wars #obi wan and anakin #obi wan kenobi x y/n #anakin skywalker #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan smut #obi wan au #professor!obi wan #professor au #star wars au

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moonjxsung · 3 months

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STAR IM DEVASTATED so i have a priv twt acc right w some irls and this stay from stayville req-ed me a long time ago and i was soooo happy that i was mutuals w someone from stayville and i THOUGHT everything between us was cool? but today they unfollowed me and removed me as a follower and im devastated i dunno why they did that :((( i don't think they had a problem w me saying nsfw stuff cuz they previously tweeted things like "cancelling someone over saying smth nsfw abt an adult is stupid" and also ive seen them interact w nsfw minsung posts so i dunno if me tweeting smth like "i wanna suck flxs cock sooooo bad" couldve made them wanna break the mutual??? i dmed them too and i was like "heyy is there a reason you don't wanna be moots w me anymore </3" and not even minutes later they turned off their message perms and im devastated. its STUPID bcs they'd barely interact w me Sure but it felt nice to have a stay be my friend on my priv twt that's usually just for my irls and i </3 it's ironic that they did that too bcs just earlier today (before they broke the mutual) i noticed that my followers went down (i have a very low amt already. like. 25. not even joking) and i tweeted "yall dont wanan be friends w me anymore </3" bcs like. my followers are QUITE LITERALLY only my irls + a skz writer so i was (i think rightfully??) alarmed that the number went down!!!! man im just Sad about it and SIIIGH i know i shouldnt care so much bcs at the end of the day they're just a person online but the least they could've done was dm me back and explain why and GHFSDDSJHFKJADDSDSAAAAA you get me!?!! also im sorry i dropped this on you randomly feel free to ignore LMAAOOAOAO can i be 💫 anon? thank yew <3

(Adding 💫 to the anon list!!! Also fun fact that’s my favorite emoji of all time. Slay)

I feel like I’m the LAST person who should be giving advice abt this bc one of my mutuals and a very good friend of mine who I’d been talking to every day randomly blocked me on everything this week after me literally being there to console this person for every little thing and playing into this pretend homoerotic friendship we had even though she was clearly looking for another boyfriend and would get mad if I even called another girl pretty (???) I wish nothing but the absolute best for her but like…. The double standard is WILD. to not provide closure to a months-long friendship is just genuinely a very mean spirited thing to do imo.

(If she’s reading this, best of luck with everything and I hope you know I cared for you a lot more than you think I did. I distanced myself because you were clearly looking for someone to fill a void in your life that I could simply not fulfill, and I didn’t want to lead you on, nor be kept around like I wasn’t allowed to talk to other girls either. Regardless, I hope you know I used to sleep with my phone on full volume in case you called, and I deleted a page worth of poetry in my notes app for you I meant to deliver on your birthday. I also deleted your number so I have zero way of contacting you, but I will always be here if you need me. Take care and I love you always, I hope you still see me when you look up at the moon)

It’s not the first time I’ve lost an internet friend to the magical world of blocking, but fortunately the attitude I’ve developed towards it is that none of this is real!!! These are people on the internet miles away you’ve never met irl and they have no real impact in your life whether they remain following you or not. I’ve lost internet friends nearly a decade ago that I don’t even remember anymore. Better ones will come along!!! Especially stays! This fandom has so many beautiful remarkable people who are actually worth following and they wouldn’t cut you off like that. Sending so many positive vibes your way and I KNOW that the universe will send you some better mutuals. In the meanwhile I will be your internet bestie and I would never unfollow you for nsfw content or without some form of an explanation. And I also want to suck Felix’s dick. 🩷🫶

(I love you, don’t be so hard on yourself!!!! You’re wonderful, angel 🩷 anyone would be lucky to be moots with you)

#💫 anon #ask

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obeymefictionwriting · 2 years

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hi!! i hope you’re having a great day!! i was curious how the obey me ! boyfies (hcs) would react if their s/o who is selectively clingy w certain people kinda back off suddenly because they just feel.. embarrassed?? like when they were a kid people reacted negatively to their clinginess and would ignore them for it. and they just feel so dumb to show emotion & showing their clinginess? and they feel like they’re being a bother and being annoying too... & suddenly just feel like closing off from the world lol? & like they can just feel really out of place and get negative thoughts that they don’t belong there, X person or a group of ppl in the convo don’t wanna talk to them etc and feel like they don’t belong in the conversation if that makes sense (i get those thoughts especially when i’m in a group i feel like i get overlooked a lot lol and i’ve never really felt included + like i can just feel so overwhelmed sometimes about the amount pf people / crowds or feeling like i’m being judged bc i’m beating myself up mentally abt my insecurities and i just end up most likely having a panic attack and just like tearing up, either crying on the spot or trying to hold it in till i get home). i’ve been feeling like this recently and i’d love to see what they’d do if that’s possible please!! thank you so much!!

I love such requests and I want to remind everyone that my blog is a very safe space where we can imagine whatever we want for our MC and be proud of it. Happy to write it!

Lucifer:

He is stunned at first. Like, things were going great and suddenly, you are backing off?...

He looks you deep in the eyes, lifting your chin up, and asks softly "Is everything okay or do you need to share something?"

Is incredibly patient while you are trying to explain what's going on in your head.

Also, will not let you go unless you share everything to him about how you feel and why.

"I love you deeply and I hope my loyalty and love will soon help you realize what a wonderful creature worth of admiration you are".

Mammon:

Okay, he'll be judging himself immediately as soon as you back off because well, he is in a constant state of low self-confidence and always feels like he is guilty for everything that happens.

"Did I do something wrong? I'll understand if yes, I ruin everything"

Oh, it has NOTHING to do with him. Huh. A relief. But another worry then - what caused you to act this way?

"WHO MADE YOU UNHAPPY? I'LL FIND 'EM!"

After you explain the reasoning behind your behavior, he slightly relaxes but is still worried.

"Can I help somehow? Like, you want some time alone or something? Just tell me,okay?"

Will hug you and whisper "I love you" in your ear till it tickles and you laugh.

Leviathan:

Oh no, what did he do? Why did you back off?

Is it because he is too much of an otaku? HE KNEW IT

It’s not him? Huh? It’s a relief, probably. Though he is still upset about your reaction because he can’t understand it and starts to worry too.

“M-m-maybe you can explain it to me? I’m sure I can understand. I’ve been living in the shadow of my brothers, I know about such things”

Ah, he sees it now.

He will smile brightly and hug you. “It’s okay to feel like this but I hope, together we can create a safe space for us both”.

Satan

Is slightly suprirsed, confused and a tiny bit offended.

Because well, everything was great and then... this thing happened. Did he do anything wrong?

Because he must know so not to repeat it in the future.

He sees you are hesitant to explain but surprisingly, Satan is really patient and will not just let it go.

“Kitten, I’ve never in my life been happier than when I am with you. It’s okay sometimes we need our space but trust me, you never bore or upset me”.

Will make you some mint tea and will bring you sugar cookies while reading a book to you.

Asmodeus

To be honest, he is slightly hurt because no one ever backed off from him before.

Will become very emotional but also determined to find out the reason behind your behavior.

“Darling, but would you please come in my arms? I’d love to calm you down”.

Will stroke your hair and give you kisses on the head until you are able to explain what happened.

Is super sensitive and supportive (which is one of his greatest strengths)

“My dear, even I feel overlooked at times... Just don’t tell anyone, okay?”

Beelzebub

He has a bit of a hard time understanding such things so he will honestly have no idea what to do at first.

Like, do you wanna be alone or do you need him? Do you wanna cry or are you angry at him?

It’s really complex for Beel and he often wishes he was better at understanding both demons and humans.

He will directly ask you and will apologize for not understanding your emotions.

While he can’t fully comprehend the concept of you being selectively clingy, he will do his best to understand it in the future.

“Just share how you feel with me, okay? Like, always”

Belphegor

He won’t show it but it hurt him when you backed off.

“Maybe you can write me a note next time you decide you don’t like me anymore?”

*yeah, sarcasm is his weapon of choice when he is confused*

Will hate himself for saying that so will be double-confused since he is akward with apologies.

“Baby, I didn’t mean to... Damn! Listen, I’m sorry, I just got a bit scared and I don’t know what’s happening. Mind explaining, please?”

*yes, he is super akward with that*

Will be surprisingly patient and caring while waiting for your explanation because a) he needs to know and b) he slightly screwed up so...

“I see. We’ll work it out so no worries again, deal?”

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aemiron-main · 2 years

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it’s interesting to me that Mike has fried chicken on his tray, whereas Dustin has pizza, and that the other two characters in the cafeteria with fried chicken are two extras who look eerily similar to Barb and Fred. Why is this interesting to me?

This is interesting because fried chicken is what we see at the Hollands’ dinner table in s1, where Nancy doesn’t eat any of the fried chicken because she excuses herself from the table due to her guilt about Barb, where we then get that scene of her mourning Barb in the bathroom/feeling guilty about her death.

So, first of all, that extra who looks similar to Fred is a way of foreshadowing Fred’s death and paralleling his death to Barb’s and to Nancy’s guilt about both of their deaths, since Nancy asked Fred to come to the trailer park and then asked him to wait where he was, just like she asked Barb to come to the party and then told her to go home. In both scenarios, one of Nancy’s friends died (at the hands of vecna too since imo Barb was absolutely not taken by an actual demogorgon) after Nancy brought them somewhere with her + then told them to do something. Nancy even argued briefly with Fred in the car about Jonathan, paralleling how she argued with Barb in Barb’s car briefly about Steve.

Second of all, though, its VERY interesting to me that they’ve put Mike in this cafeteria scene with fried chicken + therefore paralleled him to people that Nancy’s lost. Not only does this tie into Nancy’s vecna vision about Mike’s death + operate as a Mike death flag, but it also ties into Mike’s own guilt about losing people. He says himself in Lenora to Will that he “felt like I lost you or something,” and so, especially considering the other parallels between Barb’s disappearance vs Will’s, and between Nancy’s grief for Barb vs Mike’s grief for Will (theyre paralleled but not identical bc Mike is in love with will whereas Nancy wasn’t in love with Barb), I think that Mike’s fried chicken is largely representative of his guilt about his relationship with Will and feeling like he’s lost Will again.

Plus, in terms of Mike’s food issues, I’ve talked abt this a bit before, but I do think that part of his issues/lack of eating stem from his guilt/depression/anxiety, as well as his repression of his sexuality and guilt about that and how things like the wheeler dinner table are a source of conflict for him, and I need to make a proper post abt this, but there’s definitely existing links between food and queerness in ST. Theres a bunch of examples of this that need their own post, but one of them is the scene with Hopper in the prison where he offers food to his fellow prisoner and the other prisoner says “im no fairy,” and rejects the food. Food is directly tied to queerness in this sense, as the prisoner sees rhe food as something that’s being offered in exchange for gay activity. (however like im gonna talk abt another post I think its tied to queerness via being tied to themes of freedom and not being repressed anymore and so for some people like Mike, embracing that queerness is part of that freedom.) Plus, the mike-el pizza scene is interesting to me because Mike doesn’t eat the pizza, hes still repressed, he’s still not embracing his queerness, hes still not free, he’s still having other people force things on him/tell him what to like. You can’t force freedom onto people, truly cant force them out of the closet because even if you out them to other people, they still may not be out to themselves, may still deny it to themselves, so El cant force Mike to eat the pizza or embrace his freedom. Mike has to do it himself.

And so, not only is food (fried chicken in this one example) tied to greif and loss, but it’s ALSO tied to freedom and queerness: which seems contradictory until you remember what I’ve been talking about in a bunch of posts lately with how Mike’s queerness and his guilt about other peoples’ deaths/getting hurt is completely intertwined, and how its likely going to be used against him in s5. So, even the food choices in the show reinforce that link between Mike’s guilt over losing people and his queerness, as food is associated with death/loss/guilt AND with queerness/freedom.

#st analysis #byler #mike wheeler #mike wheeler analysis #Nancy wheeler #Nancy wheeler analysis #barb holland ref #fred benson ref #st food #st set design #st costuming #st background extra costuming #Mike death flags #mike s5 death #tw ed #gay mike wheeler #mike's food issues #stranger things

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enchanting-grom-fright · 2 months

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today was so random

it was the last day before break so basically all my classes were a free pd

in first we spent half the time reading to first graders ?? i chose like a book abt a vampire to read bcs i was wearing trad goth makeup (the kid i read to was so sweet) and then after that was free time so that was fun

and then in second was just free time

third wasss something for sure (i almost always hate the class though) we had to work on our skits but my group was done so i just sat in the corner on my phone except for reasons still unclear i genuinely felt like i was going to pass out for like majority of the class ?? it was sooo weird like i was literally not doing anything so idk where the fuck that came from besides maybe being overstimulated but even then it would be very odd so ?? speaking of that room especially today was a horrible sensory experience it is incredibly loud and chaotic ! and i kind of reallyyyy hate the people in there too ! so the combination of those had me veryy stressed so i hid in the school bathroom for a while in there i spent the time being very happy i had asked my friend to borrow their charger so i could use my noise cancelling earbuds and also having a very strong internal debate bcs i brought my bag of sh tools with me intending to like use them obvi but randomly i wasn’t sure what to do once i got there bcs like on one hand school bathroom and they’re right in my pocket on the other hand ?? smthing idfk ? and that went on for quite a while anyways in the end i didn’t do anything so that’s good ig idk and then the rest of third pd once i came back was also horrible lmao

but then in fourth bcs we had a sub and third was so shit i was like yea i cannot do being around people and loud classrooms rn so i mayyy or may not have just skipped most of it (i don’t think anyone cared though) and just walked around the school hallways having that same exact debate in my head(still conflicted abt this but ) until i was like guys i need to return to the classroom now so i’m not marked absent so i did that and the sub (who’s also my english teacher) called me over and asked abt my goth makeup ?? even though i’ve been wearing it all year ?? it was a bit odd anyways then i just spent the rest of that class watching toh

recess and fifth pd were cool though i spent them just talking to my friend which is basically always great obvi and also we shared earbuds which is fun :3

then after that the last schoolday before break was officially over and then i went home and then we drove to my aunts and now we’re here so we’ll see how that goes i guesss

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texturralize · 10 months

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Writer of my broken soul. What has happened to the svss fics? Are you okay? Who do I need to fight for you cause I rely on those fics more than an online shopper relies on their credit card.

it’s just..kind of a unfortunate timing kinda thing..something just really discouraged me and hit on some social trauma I have and I’ve been in a funk and need to take a break from my sv fanfic. the other night I sat down to write and someone messaged me on twt to join a sj fan server.

I got super excited bc I still hadn’t ever found a sj focused server and he is (obviously) my fave. when I got in, someone mentioned being fan of my fics. so I searched them just bc I was kinda curious. well..there were a few nitpicks things here and there which is fine. but ig one of my fics, because I forgot a tag, showed up in some people’s feed even when they set their filters, and it bothered them. there were some really hurtful things said..stuff like oh you can’t trust this author, can’t believe they did this, it was disingenuous, they wanted to toss themself down the stairs from sheer disgust, it was creepy, people wanted to block me, they felt mad anytime they saw my name…it was bordering on fic/author bashing and I was shocked the conversation just continued like normal and was allowed…so I got uncomfortable and left the server.

I don’t really blame the server itself or the people who talked about me, multiple people have sent me DMs saying they felt bad and like my work and that was really sweet. one of the people who said stuff also apologized for it so it’s not like I hold a grudge. it’s just, stuff like this is kind of hard to deal with for me. it’s not that I’ve never encountered hate comments or anything on the internet, I think I was just blindsided by the situation..no one expects to encounter stuff like that in what should be a safe space for fun and ideas you were invited to. I let myself get excited and wasn’t expecting it so it really affected me.

it’s just unfortunate that it happened in that way because though I’m sure no one specifically meant to hurt me, like I said, this kind of triggered some social trauma for me. as someone who grew up with undiagnosed autism, I’ve often felt hurt and silly when I entered spaces and didn’t realize people didn’t like me until too late. I spent a long time unable to explain why I felt certain ways when these things happened bc I didn’t even understand the way my own brain worked. I also have a very direct way of communicating and don’t say things unless I mean them, so the idea of venting and being aggressive abt something but not ‘really meaning it’ is hard for me; it’s hard to understand that someone could say such cruel stuff but not take it seriously. so my brain catastrophizes and won’t let me forget what happened and there’s dysphoria when I perceive rejection, dislike, aggression, etc. BECAUSE I take those things so seriously. and I also would never bash someone or their fic bc I know fic is made from love and is 100% free so it’s hard for me to get past it y’know?

just to reiterate..I’m not mad at anyone, I don’t think anyone is a bad person. they said they made a mistake speaking like that about someone and will keep in mind what I said when we talked. I’m sure there are plenty of people in that server who like my stuff and don’t want to see me discouraged…

god, it’s just really hard, you know? it’s been a while since something really managed to hurt my feelings. I guess I just felt stupid, and kind of humiliated. it’s that feeling of walking into a room only to realize you’re the punchline…

so..yeah it just kind of has me in a funk, as someone who’s struggled to make friends and connections in fandom too despite how ‘easy’ it’s supposed to be. I’m still kind of disappointed that something I got excited over exploded so much in my face and didn’t work out. but overall I mostly just tripped into a depression spell and it’s making me feel bad to look at my work so..I decided to take a break from it. to people who like my stuff…I’m really sorry. I don’t mean to take anything away from people who really liked it. I just want to feel better.

the last time I felt this bad was a few years ago, when someone did something really horrible to me and it upset me so much and took the joy out of the fandom I was creating content for, because it was something we did together. I’m not really upset over the specifics of what was said, just the experience and how similar it was to things I’ve went through in the past. I’m upset over the fact I don’t feel like it’s fun to write right now, and I don’t want to lose this special interest like I did my last one…so yeah, just kind of sucks overall.

I hope no one feels bad about what happened for a long time. just..unfortunately, I probably will, and maybe taking a break will help..idk

sorry :(

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pineapplerightsideupcake · 8 months

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hello im on anon bc im new to radblr and im a crypto but just wanted to say thank you for standing up for bisexuals on this blog. idk why but for some reason i expected radblr to have better opinions on bi women than the whole ‘sexually promiscuous bihet’ and ‘traitor for being osa’ and ‘more privileged than homosexuals’ bullshit that everybody else spews. the alphabet cult is actively erasing us in favor of ‘trans inclusive labels’, radblr is invalidating us by blatantly ignoring so many bi women’s experience with sexuality. the biphobia here is almost worse than any offhanded comment ive heard from a straight person. i also don’t think many understand that some women know they’re bi and are confident in that, but others may use bi during a time when theyre unsure if they’re actually attracted to men. ive gone a few of my teenage years acknowledging to myself that im bi, but now in my 20s im questioning if i ever truly felt attracted to men. the things i feel sexually in my most recent relationship with a woman are things ive never felt or even imagined were possible when ‘crushing’ on a guy. i acknowledge that *some* men are aesthetically pleasing for me to look at, but i’m also penis repulsed and always have been. theres nothing sexy to me about penis. truly. it makes me ill thinking about it. and that is confusing for me, bc seeing so many lesbians on here say how sure theyve been about liking women makes me think they did not grow up in an area like i did where homosexuality was truly thought of as demonic, even by the most ‘liberal’ people. i had no idea ssa was normal until i was probably 12 or 13 years old, and before then i just. repressed those feelings. i still did until i was about 17 and fully admitted to myself that ‘hey, i like girls’.

also i didn’t even know what the ‘comphet masterdoc’ was until exploring radblr, but i had heard comphet before and felt that it was very accurate in describing how i feel about men. idk anything abt what’s on the doc. regardless of my ‘true’ sexuality, it feels like theres a very hostile attitude towards bisexuality here, or even someone saying ‘ive tried to have a crush on guys before but only feel sexually/romantically attracted to women’ is met with ‘if youve even THOUGHT about having sex with a man then youre not a lesbian.’ no room for nuance.

sorry for the rant in your inbox, i hope this is okay. but yeah. thank you for being open about bisexuals here and standing up for them.

Thank you! I realized a while ago that radblr had a lot of issues that need to be challenged but I’ve also come to appreciate why these issues occur.

At the end of the day, almost nowhere allows women to speak this freely. Lesbians have had even their online communities absolutely destroyed by the TQ. So more than a few lesbian women on here really don’t want to talk to or about non lesbian women. And I think they’d be happier if they created a separate space for themselves on here where they didn’t feel pressured to, which I think is where a ton of this negativity comes from.

Bisexual women also need to stop offering themselves up as social sacrifices. I see a lot of the anti bi stuff come from bi women themselves sadly. A lot of women on radblr never unlearned that deeply unhelpful ID pol hierarchy from their TRA days.

As for your own personal journey, don’t let other people’s pain, no matter how legitimate, compound your own pain. The way I navigated my sexuality was I called myself a lesbian in my head because men did repulsed me. But it felt like a lie. I’d see a handsome dude jogging and feel a pang of attraction. Men still crept into my fantasies. I have zero desire to sleep with or date men. But that’s got nothing to do with my attraction to them. It’s a conscious personal choice I’ve made for my own happiness and safety.

So call yourself a lesbian just inside your head. Do it everyday. Look in the mirror and say “I am a lesbian” and if after a few months that feels like a lie then you’re bisexual and that’s amazing! If it feels like coming home, if everyday it feels more true, then you’re a lesbian and that’s amazing!

Please love yourself no matter what 💛

#radical feminism #radical feminist community #radical feminist safe #radical feminists do interact #radical feminists do touch #radblr #radical feminists please interact

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my-castles-crumbling · 16 days

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Hey. I’m not sure if i need advice or if i just need to vent but i’m pretty angry and you’re really good at listening to random people talk abt their problems. (Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes)

So i had to to work the evening shift both days this weekend, and because of my particular brand of anxiety, i cant really do anything leading up to my shift. Like i get super nervous that i’m going to forget abt my shift if i do anything other than scroll through my phone or stare off into space. And then i found out that i’m also working the Monday and Tuesday after this weekend after school. At this point i’m pretty tired and knowing i wont even have a break after school is even worse. So, for my mental health I decided to skip school this Monday.

This is where the issue comes up. My mom was super against me skipping and we had a whole argument abt it. Basically i shouldn’t skip bc i’m “technically” truant, meaning i’ve skipped more than 11 days since school stared and they COULD either send me to court or have me pay a fine. Ik that sounds bad but they almost never send anyone to court or even make them pay any fines and most of my absences are from the first semester so i actually haven’t skipped in a while. Also half of those absences are my mom’s fault bc she forgot to email the school that i was sick or send them my doctors note which accounts for about 5 of my absences. And as long as one of my parents excuses the absence (which my dad is always willing to do) it doesn’t even count towards my truancy. When i tell her this she immediately pivots and says that well if she has to go to work then i have to go to school. Now i’ve always been really big on independence, i’m only an 18 year old senior in l Highschool but i KNOW thats bullshit, She works from home all the time and i was planning to do basically the same thing where i do the majority of my work at home and catch up on sleep until my work shift in the evening. So far this is pretty normal for my arguments about with her. Until i put my foot down and tell her that i’m old enough to have the right decide these types of things for myself and that i don’t think its fair for her to just decide for me. Usually she would relent but this time she threatened to CALL THE POLICE ON ME. I’m not exaggerating the escalation from a regular argument to a full screaming match was insane.

I was just so upset and it felt like she didn’t even see me as person who just needs a break sometimes. I was too scared to see if she would really call the police so i went to school. So, here i am silently fuming in class. I don’t even know if i’ll get through school with how mentally exhausted i am. Thats basically it. Just tell me if i’m in the wrong or over reacting or if i’m in the right. I’m such a mixture of angry and exhausted that none of this might make sense, but whatever. Thank you so much for listening.

Hi!!!

Well, I think there are separate parts to this:

Your mom isn't listening to your emotions. This happens a lot with parents, and it's frustrating. Even though she was making a valid point with the truancy, threatening to call the police and throwing her own (irrelevant) work in your face wasn't the way to do it. I've always wondered why parents think kids are going to listen if they aren't given the respect of the acknowledgement of their feelings.

The entire argument is difficult because, there are layers here. from what you're telling me, your mother is some of the reason you have some of these unexcused absences, because she hasn't done the paperwork. But I also am wondering, how can you even be considered truant if you're 18? And, at age 18, isn't it your decision? I'm confused on the laws here.

Given all of this...would I personally risk skipping school if I was risking truancy? Probably not. But I've always been afraid to get in trouble.

But I feel like that's not even the biggest issue. Can your mom not send the doctor notes to school to get some of your previous absences excused?

Also...the petty part of me is like...your mom is saying she has to go to work...but you have to go to work and school. so that's not an argument.

I feel like your mom didn't handle this well, to be honest. I know she's trying to prevent you from getting in trouble, but there were other ways to do it. I hope that makes sense?

Also, I hope work is going well! I'm naming you school anon.

#ask #asks #ask cas #school anon

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bellysoupset · 2 months

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SOUP!!!!!!!

HI HI HI HI I CANT EXPLAIN HOW HAPPY I AM THAT YOURE BACK!!! oh my goodness i was literally typing this when i saw that you asked where i’ve been💀 i’ve been reading fics as you post them (i don’t have notifs on but i check your blog for updates on a regular basis LMAO) but life shtuff has only now died down enough for me to actually write/comment on things!! gosh i’m so excited you’re back!! in the LEAST pressure-y way, it’s almost embarrassing how slowly days went by as i was waiting for you to start posting again LOL like at one point i was telling myself “okay she said 20 days, it’s probably been at least a week”. it had been literally 3 days 💀 HAHAHAHWH

ANYWAYS

AHHHHHH MY BABIES MY BABIES!!!!! i don’t remember what the last thing i talked about on here was but WOW these last fics have made me cry and laugh and blush sooo many different times!! wen finding out was CRAZY and i literally sobbed w her bc the way everything played out was so unfortunate but also so realistic and raw and i had so many mixed feelings about everything!!!! and then wen isolating and bella checking on her!! and wen trying to push her away and then admitting that she felt so lonely GOD THAT WAS DEVASTATING but then bella being so supportive and comforting AGHHHH my girlsss <3333

and then omg the fic after that one??? i was SO surprised that wen forgave vin? and that they’re trying long distance??? i’m so fucking excited and happy abt that but god i’m sure it’ll be hard 😭 but YAY I KNEW THEY LOVED EACH OTHER TOO MUCH TO GIVE UP LIKE THAT ♥️

side note, luke being so depressed and struggling so much to adapt to his meds is so sad but so realistic too :,) i’m glad you’re making this a part of the plot!! but my man is def off his meds already lol im interested to see where this goes!! and also i LOVE how well jon and leo are doing <3 despite everything going on, they’re in their happy era fr <3

and now i’m sorry but the sick vin fic?????????? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IT WAS EVERYTHING I NEEDED AND MORE‼️ first off, leo talking to him and being so real but also like calling him out like that??? while still being super supportive??? and the way he described wen was so accurate and so him-coded??? and then AHHHHH i’ve ALWAYS loved vin and bell’s friendship, i’ve genuinely always thought it was super adorable and i wanted more of them, so this fic was gold 🤭 a trope that ALWAYS gets me is when someone is ANGRY at someone they love and ofc being bitchy and sassy until they realise said someone is very much Unwell (it’s especially good if they’re so sick that they’re really out of it), and when they realise how sick they are they IMMEDIATELY switch from mad to concerned + caretaker mode!!!! so yeah you can imagine this whole fic had me on my knees 🤭 obsessed w how protective of luke bell is, and how protective of vin wen is, but also how both girls just jumped straight into action when he was clearly not feeling good <333 and then vin realising wen was using her dr. voice, and then the pure ANGST at the end when he sobs and they just hug and the “god i’m gonna fucking miss you” SOB SOB SOB SOB 😭😭😭🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

bell sick and luke taking care of her was also AMAZINGGGG🫶🏽 i always love when my girls get whumped <3333 omg and AHHHH luke and vin finally talking abt shtuff🥹 the “nothing to forgive” 😭 luke knowing he’ll get sick AND holding him closer??? GOSH THE BROTP MAN !!!!!

and oh my goodness i just read the most recent fic with the new OC!!!! this is so exciting and cool and i love his vibes ahhhh <3 i love how nonchalant max seems abt shtuff and im so so excited to see where things go!! i hope vin and him become friends but also i feel like there’s gonna be some tension and weird banter going on between them at least at first hehehe

ANYWAYS

your writing is fucking incredible and whenever i see a new post from your blog it genuinely lights up my day <3 i am completely in love with all your characters and the depth and intricacies behind each of them ♥️ i’m so thankful your blog exists🫶🏽 also, i saw you were really struggling for a while and i just wanted to check in and see if you were doing better? you’re so loved and talented and appreciated and you deserve all the peace and love and happiness in the world!!! i hope things are going well/better!

i can’t wait to read more of what you write! i’m super excited about this new character and about reading more stories abt your lovely OCs <3

YOU’RE AMAZING THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING AND KEEP SLAYING!!!

🦦

Soup found DEAD from love cardiac arrest outside of Miami beach.

🦦!!!!! Honestly I don't even wanna post your comments, I just wanna stare at them for hours 🙈🙈

Don't worry about catching up on fics, they'll be here when life slows down!! I know very well how sad it is that we must Adult ™.

I am SO HAPPY you liked the Wendy/Vince developments!! In my head you're like THE Wendy/Vin supporter, so every time I write something with them I'm like "uhmmm wonder what 🦦 is gonna think??"

Caretaker who's pissed and then switches to comfort is also one of my favorite tropes, I looooove the spiciness of guilt thrown in!

Take care babe 💛💛

#lovely correspondence #🦦 anon #gonna go cry now bye

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