#I just have a lot of thoughts on this

[jedi-enthusiast]

I saw you had thoughts on the Codywan v Anidala lightsaber exchange and I need to hear these juicy details, please and thank you ☺️

Ask and you shall receive!

Everything I'm gonna outline in detail below can basically be summarized as this-

"Anakin and Padme--for all their talk about how much they love and trust each other--don't actually trust each other. Meanwhile Cody and Obi-Wan never really talk about trusting each other, but it's obvious that there is a natural trust between them. The lightsaber exchange represents this."

-----

In RotS and in the later seasons of TCW, it's pointed out or shown multiple times that Anakin and Padme do not trust each other, even on the most basic level.

In the RotS novelization, Padme is talking with some senators about possibly opposing the Chancellor--but one of them insists that they'll need to backing of the Jedi to do that. Padme then says that there is one Jedi who she trusts above all else...and then is promptly horrified when she actually thinks about it and finds that Anakin doesn't make the cut--and then has a mini-crisis about it and puts the blame on others for their shitty relationship ('Oh Ani, what are they doing to us?').

In the whole Rush Clovis arc of TCW, we see how mistrustful Anakin is of Padme--going so far as to put himself in the middle of them every chance he gets.

Now some might argue that it's Clovis that he was mistrustful of but, call me crazy, if I trusted my partner and I was in Anakin's shoes (aka having to let Padme get close to Clovis for the greater good of the galaxy, because it could help them win the war) then I wouldn't be putting myself in the middle of them all the time. I would trust my partner to remain faithful to me or, considering the situation that they were in, only be unfaithful as a last resort. I also wouldn't get mad at my partner when someone else tried to kiss her, even after she said no. Which Anakin does.

All of this adds together to show that, despite what he says, Anakin doesn't actually trust her.

Early in TCW we actually see the seeds of this as well, even though it's not framed that way.

In "Hostage Crisis" we open up the episode by watching as Anakin tries to convince Padme to take a vacation with him, despite her still having work in the Senate. He then proceeds to give her his lightsaber and repeatedly state how much he trusts her, basically going-

"See? My lightsaber is supposed to be a Jedi's life, how can I not trust you if I'm letting you hold it? See how much I trust you?"

then blah blah blah the rest of the episode happens.

It's not framed this way, but to me that actually shows a level of mistrust and insecurity in the relationship. I don't know about you, but the only time I tell someone I trust them, unprompted, is when I don't actually trust them but I'm trying to convince them that I do. Otherwise I don't need to say it, because I show it. That's what I see in Anidala.

Now, in contrast, let's look at Cody and Obi-Wan.

Multiple times in TCW and then in RotS, Cody keeps Obi-Wan's lightsaber safe when he loses it and then returns it to Obi-Wan later--and we can assume that it happens more than is shown because Cody even has a lightsaber clip on his armor which, as far as I'm aware, is never shown on any other clone in any of the shows or movies. It's specific to them.

It's never mentioned between them, though. Ever. The most they do is flirt tease a little (as shown in the RotS novelization), but Obi-Wan never tells Cody "oh wow, I let you take care of my lightsaber, look at how much I trust you" or even has that moment of thinking it to himself. It's never brought up, because it doesn't have to be.

The two just naturally trust each other, Obi-Wan naturally trusts Cody with his life--both his physical one and the life represented by his lightsaber. There's no need for convincing or to make it some big spectacle, it just is.

As @dreamerkath commented under one of my posts, "CodyWan is the balance that Anidala couldn't achieve."

Cody and Obi-Wan are everything that Anakin and Padme try to convince themselves they are...and neither of them burned down the fucking galaxy to show it.

[melonnade]

epilogue thoughts.

[only-in-december]

I just rewatched the Star Trek: Strange New Worlds episode "Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow". And oh by golly do I have a ton of headcanons and ideas regarding what happened in the Other-Jim's timeline, as well as how that affects La'an when she gets back to her own timeline. And since you obviously want to know about all of my thoughts on this, I will share them.🙂

This is gonna be a long one, lads and lasses. So buckle your seatbelts.

Also, Spoilers for season 2 of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds below the cut.

All ideas I'm about to talk about stem from the fact that I am convinced that the first thing to convince Jim to help La'an get her timeline back, was the fact that in her timeline, Sam was still alive. He would risk his entire universe, just to know that his brother was still there. (Just to be 100% clear, I do have eyes and can see that he and La'an developed feelings for each other. Obviously. I'm just talking about before that happened. The look on his face when she said that she knew Sam. Getting his brother back was a first priority, I think.)

There are two main ideas that I have. I'll start with the first one I came up with:

George Samuel Kirk, and James Tiberius Kirk were both born on the SS Iowa. Three years apart.

Growing up during an intergalactic war wasn't easy, and at some point, they made a pact to keep each other safe. No matter what.

Sam learned at a young age how to do whatever it took to keep himself and his brother safe. Even if that meant killing someone.

Sam joined the fight first. He was a soldier and a protecter. And that's what Jim thinks of first when he thinks of his brother.

Sam dies in some sort of suicide mission in order to save the Enterprise. To save his brother.

When La'an and Jim first meet, it's been a minimum of five years since that day. Maybe more.

At some point, Jim asks La'an about what his brother is like in her timeline, which leads to them comparing and contrasting about Sam Kirk, and learning that the two were very VERY different.

The Sam that Jim knew would never shave his face because "The Romulans aren't going to leave us alone for a minute because we need a shave." And he barely if ever would even trim the hair on his face. (La'an laughs at the thought of her timeline's Sam with a shaggy beard.)

Jim's Sam knew how to shoot to kill. He would run first into the fight, just to make sure that everyone made it out alive. And La'an almost wishes she could've met that Sam.

When Jim mentions that he always thought of his brother as a peacemaker and a pacifist that never had the chance to learn what peace was, La'an is glad to be able to tell him that in her timeline, Sam isn't a fighter. He doesn't know how to aim to kill, and would rather run than fight. And Jim smiles at hearing that.

When they think that maybe Jim can come to La'an's timeline, he stops to himself and thinks about seeing Sam again.

It wouldn't be his Sam.

It wouldn't be the same Sam that taught him how to play chess so that he wouldn't hear the sounds of war outside the window.

It wouldn't be the same Sam that would smack him on the back of the head when he ran into a firefight, only to do the same thing almost immediately after.

It wouldn't be the same Sam who wished for a time where he didn't have to fight to keep them safe.

It wouldn't be the same Sam that he watched die.

But for all their differences, the two Sams were very much alike.

Both enjoyed studying biological sciences. (That was one thing that made Jim's Sam so deadly.)

Both Sams had the same Kirk stubbornness, which meant they would never back down.

They both had an annoying habit of saying the wrong things at the worst possible times.

Most importantly, both Sams loved their "idiot" younger brothers.

La'an found all of the differences amusing, and I think she probably wondered just how different the Jim in her own timeline was, from the man that was sitting next to her. The man that she was starting to fall for.

And when things went wrong, his last words were, "Tell Sam I said 'hi'." Even at the end, he thought about his brother.

And La'an went home, alone.

She was told that she wasn't allowed to discuss what happened with anybody. Ever.

She probably avoided Sam for a while. Because even though she never met the Other Sam, she didn't have to.

Sam and Jim look just enough alike for it to be painful. They have the same look in their eyes. Even though Sam's are dark and Jim's are hazel, the light in them is the same.

They also talk in the same way. La'an didn't know that until she got back, but Sam and Jim both use their hands in the same way when they talk. And the way that they shrug with one shoulder, the way they move their mouths when they're thinking. The little things add up.

So La'an just avoids Sam like the plague.

Until eventually, when she's had time to properly process everything that happened. (Sometime post "Subspace Rhapsody" I think would be best.)

She finally catches Sam alone in a turbolift.

She doesn't look at him, and he thinks that he must have done something wrong.

And she just says three words. "Jim says 'hi'."

She fulfills her friend's dying wish. And then she doesn't say anything else, and just gets off as soon as the doors open back up.

Sam knows that something else is going on for two reasons:

One, he just spoke to Jim less than five minutes before.

And two, his Big Brother Instincts were blaring red alert. She was a little sister that needed help.

I don't know if he acted on the Big Brother Instincts or not, but that can be left open to interpretation.

The other concept that I have, follows the same as the first one for the first few bullet points, with one major big change: Other Timeline Sam was closer in additude to Main Timeline Sam.

Instead of being a fighter, Sam was always the one that would hide from the fight. This is partly what prompted Jim to be the one to fight in the war.

Despite his own self-proclaimed cowardice, Sam worked hard to try and protect his brother. Which is what led to his untimely demise.

Instead of dying in a suicide mission to protect the Enterprise, it was something more like a Romulan got on board and was trying to get to Jim

So Sam did what any big brother would in that moment. He kept his baby brother safe.

Claiming to be Jim (or something. Details aren't specific right now.) Sam ends up dying. He managed to kill the intruder too.

Jim doesn't get to his brother in time. By the time he gets there, Sam's dead. And that moment shapes him.

It's still around five years after that, that La'an and Jim meet.

They still end up comparing Sams, but this time, they're surprised by how much alike the two are.

The biggest difference that the two can find is that Jim's Sam was clean shaven.

Jim this time is more hopeful about seeing his brother again. He's sure that there are tons of differences between the two that they don't know about. (La'an and Sam aren't exactly close.)

But what matters to him is that the two Sams are similar enough.

When Jim dies, this time, La'an avoids Sam even harder. She can't bear to look at the man that Other Timeline Jim wanted to see so badly.

The similarities between the brothers are too much. It makes her angry, just as much as it makes her sad. So she avoids Sam.

She walks out of the room as soon as he walks in.

She doesn't even look at the turbolift if she can hear him talking.

Sam's starting to think that he's done something to make her mad at him. It's not like they ever talked much before, but now? Something definitely happened.

In this version of events, she avoids talking to Sam for way longer than she did in the other one. Even after she sorta comes to terms with everything that happened.

It takes some sort of outside intervention to get them talking. (Idk what though. An away mission or something like that maybe? It's not like anyone is shoving them in a room together or anything like that. Aside from the two of them, I don't think anyone else really notices or cares all that much.)

When she does finally say her three words to him, it's a little more angry. They got into a fight because Sam made a comment that his brother doesn't care that much about him. (Don't ask me why that would even come up. It just does. Go with it.)

She yells at him, telling him what Jim's last words were.

She doesn't want to even look at him. Because looking at the Sam that Other Timeline Jim would have been so excited to see hurts, especially when that same Sam is claiming that his brother wouldn't care if anything happens to him.

Maybe it all spills out. Well, not all of it. But some of the big parts. The part where a different version of Sam's brother died in her arms.

The part where the last thing he said was to tell Sam he said hi.

The part where Other Timeline Jim missed his big brother so much that he was willing to destroy the entire life that he knew just to see him again.

By the end of that, she's sobbing. And so is he, really.

Sam apologizes for saying what he did. He didn't know how it would hurt her. (He still doesn't quite believe everything she said. But he really didn't mean to upset her.)

La'an doesn't respond to him, and just walks away.

She doesn't avoid him as much after that.

[the-lightless-flame]

i saw a poll about agnes ships before so. i am going to talk about agnes ships now (spoiler: i dont really like any of them sorry)

first her and jack. eugene says he thinks it was an expression of her doubt, and im inclined to agree. at that point, agnes was seriously doubting her place in the lightless flame (see: her suicide not long after meeting him), so i feel like she probably wanted an escape and when he asked her out it was the perfect opportunity. also she was pretty distant in all of her dates with him, so it kinda looks like she just wanted an excuse to get away from the lightless flame for an afternoon rather than actually wanting to get to know him.

ok jude. i kinda go back and forth over whether i think they were ever a thing or not but like if they were or not. theres no way they were healthy right?? for one jude sees agnes as an actual goddess and that isnt really the basis for a functioning relationship. plus, imo being treated like that (instead of as an actual person) is why agnes felt so uncomfortable with the lightless flame, so being with the person who's arguably the most devoted probably wouldnt be great for her.

gertrude i like aesthetically. i think its fun. i think if they met earlier and on better terms theyd probably go on a date and have tea and maybe kiss. i dont really ship them tho. id maybe read a fic about them, and i understand their appeal as foils for each other, but i dont really think gertrude would be good for agnes. idk, i think the main thing for me is that gertrude is too far into things at basically every point in her life, whereas what i want for agnes is to get away from that

imo the best ship for agnes is just some random woman. ive already talked about this a little in the web!agnes post but i think she deserves a normal life with a normal person (not jack tho. sorry). and that normal person should be a woman bc agnes deserves to be gay.

i really like the idea of her getting away from all the avatars and whatever stuff theyre dealing with. she should get to live in peace, and imo any ship with someone in podcast wouldnt let her have that.

anyway that is my. opinion on agnes ships. obviously not trying to come for anyones ship here, yall are cool and ur ships are very cool.

u can tell me if u think i mischaracterised ur favourite ship or if i missed one. im prepared to admit if im wrong just know that im probably not

[animerunner]

Honestly baffling for me personally is the choice to make the hull of that thing out of carbon fiber. Carbon fiber!

I own a racing wheelchair and our wheels our made to be light for speed purposes. And the most popular types of wheels are carbon fiber

And I’ve actually broken my wheels before in the past because of a tipping incident.

That thing can’t stand a few pounds of pressure let alone 6000.

The fact they made a sub that was able to go down at all for any trips just boggles my mind

Any athlete with or without an engineering background could have told you the issues with carbon fiber. Like it’s great for athletes sure but not for the kind of thing they were using it

[mikelogan]

Is it bad that like—if she doubles down on all this and tries to justify it I’ll quit listening to her music; of course I will.

But I don’t want to have to do that. I’ve been listening to her since elementary school, and up until this point she’s been the only artist I grew up with who hadn’t done/condoned anything horrible. (I’m still shocked by what Demi confessed to a few years back and the way that was played off.)

I want Taylor to dump him and address this because it’d be the right thing to do. But it’s also because I just want one artist I liked growing up to not be terrible.

to put it plainly, this fucking sucks. i don't want to stop listening to her music either. i relate to a lot of it and i also grew up listening to her. i think im especially disappointed by all this bc of her seeming so dedicated to speaking out against injustice and it makes all of her "activism" seem performative. ive seen a lot of different posts floating around since this has all come to light, but the one that resonates with me the most is that she can't not know about all the shit he's said and done. she's obviously active online -- she knows about people thinking she hates evermore and the whole "mother is mothering" stuff, etc -- and while i think it's plausible that she's sent some of these things by members of her team, i find it so hard to believe that she's just totally unaware of all m*tty's bullshit. i literally never listened to the 1975 until i just saw them on snl maybe a few weeks ago and i liked a couple of the songs, but i remember hearing things over the years (I used to be suuuuper active in bandom #rip) about him just. not being a good person. i don't think i knew specifics, but it's why all of this coming out about him doesn't particularly surprise me, though it does disgust/horrify me. like i get her needing a rebound bc like. after 6 years with someone, that has to hurt?? and we have literally no idea what even happened between her and joe bc they were so private to begin with. so i understand that she's hurting and probably not in the best mental place, and while she's entitled to do what (and who) she wants, that doesn't mean im gonna just. sit by and not say anything about it? and this is so incredibly unlike 2016 when people were cancelling her left and right just bc theyd been foaming at the mouth for excuses to do so. im not even advocating to cancel her (still holding out hope that she addresses this somehow), but i am in favor of holding her accountable. i also understand the whole "separate the art from the artist" thing to an extent. who immediately comes to mind on that topic though is jk r*wling, who turned out to be essentially rhe biggest disappointment of my life. her views and beliefs have stained what she created, to the point where i don't even want to associate myself with hp despite having grown up with it and having it be a big part of my life. Im not to that point with Taylor's music (though I will say this has made me a lot less excited for my show next month), but I COMPLETELY understand what you're saying. Like why is it so much to ask for artists/celebrities in general to not be terrible people? Like even if she's not the one saying the things he's said, she's still with him and has said nothing about any of his statements. As a white person, I know that I'll never fully understand what it's like to be part of a victim of racism and that I cannot speak to what that's like. I have privilege in that regard. I have the ability to shrug my shoulders and say "That's not my problem" and move on. But I don't want to. I want to hold taylor accountable for all she's said and done to make us think she loves and supports her fans. But this has to feel so alienating for members of the groups m*tty's said shit about. We love Taylor and a lot of us look up to her and we want her to be happy. But this ain't it, not by a longshot.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[indigo6f00ff]

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[clown-owo]

been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[verflares]

(click for higher quality!) draconified link concept ive been chipping away at this past week ..... here's my funny little compendium concept for him:

"A heroic spirit has taken the form of this bestial dragon. Unlike it's kin, this creature exhibits an extremely aggressive disposition. It appears highly territorial, and will relentlessly chase down those who disturb its skywide patrols - of which it seems to be endlessly searching for either a long-time vassal or foe. Unfortunately, it seems the spirit within has long since forgotten exactly who it was looking for…"

[marisatomay]

the council has conferred and it has been decided that the most painful ages to happen to a person are 12, 17, 19, and 23

[madamemiz]

sad: falling out of a hyperfixation

tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it

[theoldkyokodied]

One wedding and three funerals

Background paintings under the cut