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yeaimsafiya · 27 days

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CHAPTER ONE back from rehab

SYNOPSIS the beginning of a teenage girl named y/n who is fresh out of rehab but doesn't intend to stay clean.

FROM THE WRITER AHH IM SORRY IM LATE GUYS!! This is the first chapter I'm ever writing, I took some inspo from episode 1 but I'm going to have to cut each episode into fourths because I really don't want to spend a whole week trying to finish a whole episode and school work. But I hope you guys really enjoy this chapter as much as I did - Love you guys, Sapiyah <3

WARNINGS Lots of unnecessary writing, female! reader, mentions of drugs and drinking, strong sexual content, nudity, violence, adult content, adult language, scenes might be uncomfortable for some, some scenes might include mentions of mental illness'

SERIES EUPHORIA

CHARACTERS INCLUDED members of the bakusquad & dekusquad, big three(?), some characters of class 1A

NOTES MDNI! Ageless blogs will be blocked or removed.

Readers discretion is advised

Suddenly, the whole world goes dark and nothing else matters except the person standing in front of you.

You were once happy. Content.

Sloshing and swimming around your own private, primordial pool; Then one day, for reasons beyond your control, you were continuously and repeatedly crushed...

Over..and over.. again by the cervix of your mother, M/n.

You put up a good fight, but eventually lost, for the first time, but not the last.

You were born 3 days after 9/11, your mother and father spent two days in the hospital, holding you under the soft glow of the television, watching those towers fall over and over again, until the feeling of grief gave away to numbness.

And then, without warning, a middle-class childhood in the American suburbs.

You were sitting at the dinner table with your mother, M/n, and Father, F/n. But it appeared something else had gotten your attention, a set of numerous lights above the dinner table, in which you wanted to count.

"Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen.."

" What are you looking at y/n?"

"..."

"What are you doing? ..Y-y/n look at me."

"One, two, three, .."

"What are you doing Y/n?"

*cries*

"Id say she's suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder..."

Its not like you were physically abused..

"...attention deficit disorder..."

..Or had some type of clean water storage..

"..general anxiety disorder.."

..Or was molested by a family member.

"..and possibly bipolar disorder. But she's a little bit too young to tell."

So, explain this shit to me.

"Honey, it's just the way your brain was hardwired; Plenty of great, intelligent, funny, interesting and creative people have struggled with the same things you struggle with."

"Like who?"

"Vincent Van Gogh, Sylvia Plath, and even Brittney Spears, your favorite!"

You haven't remembered much from the ages of eight to twelve. Just that the world moved fast, and your mind moved slow.

"Does anyone have an idea of what a perception might be?"

And every now and then, if you focused on the way you breathed...

You'd die.

"Slow down, just breathe"

Until every second of the day, you'd find yourself trying to outrun your anxiety.

"What's wrong Y/n?"

..And quite frankly..

"I'm just fucking exhausted"

Coming down to the kitchen, you could hear the small talk between your mother and younger sister, S/N.

"You said the doctor was in our network. How can he suddenly be out of network?"

"I can't afford it."

"Did you see that video of the girl who got acid thrown at her face?"

"What? No.."

"It's pretty fucked up.."

"Mom do you know where the tampons are?"

"In my bathroom, right under the sink."

And at one point, you'd make a choice of who you are and what you want.

"Alright Gia, let's go"

"Why do the co-payments cost $300?"

"Y/n did you eat breakfast?"

".."

"What's with the glasses?"

"What glasses?"

You just happened to show up one day, without a map or a compass..

"Attention students, we need to lockdown."

..Or to be honest, anyone capable of giving on iota of good fucking advice.

And I know it all seems sad but guess what? You did not build this system up, nor fuck it up yourself.

But then it happens. That moment where your breath starts to slow. And every time you breathe, you breathe out all the oxygen you have.

Then everything stops: Your heart, your lungs, then finally, your brain. And everything you feel, you wish, and want to forget, it all just sinks.

And then suddenly... you give it air again, give it life again.

You remember the first time it happened, where you were so scared you wanted to call 911. Go to the hospital and be kept alive by machines and apple juice. But you didn't want to look like an idiot, and you didn't want to fuck up everyone else's night.

And now overtime, that's all you've wanted.. those two seconds of nothingness.

You spent a good portion of summer before junior year in rehab. God granted you the serenity to accept things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

"Y/N," your sister yelled from afar, greeting you after your long leave. You smiled, and whilst running up to her, tried to continue the conversation with your younger sibling.

"Hey, Come here!"

"How are you?"

"Good, I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"Look at you, are you growing?"

"No."

Looking over, you see your mother standing by your family car.

"Hey," you yelled out to her, only to receive a small smile from her.

And with that. you knew it was your time to go.

"I'm very happy for you Y/n. You're about to start a brand-new chapter," Your mother says while driving you and your sister to school. You looked at her with a smile, then turned your attention back to the car window.

You had no intentions of staying clean. And yet, Jirou just moved into town.

"There's some new girl in town that I think you'll be friends with," Shoto said, with you standing beside him in his store.

"Who?"

"Shit, I don't know. She came in looking all punk rock and shit; So I'm thinking to myself, like, 'look like somebody Y/n would be friends with'."

Which was sort of a dead-on observation for Shoto, who's not normally revolving in the same direction as planet earth.

"So how long have you been back?" He asked.

"About five days."

"And how are you feeling?"

"I mean, ever since I gave my life over to my lord and savior Jesus Christ, things have been, like, really good."

"Word? That's what's up," You chuckled at his snarky remark, giving him a small smile.

"I'm fucking with you," you said whilst laughing, "It was a joke."

"Shit, hey, I don't judge," he defended, hands raising to just above his chest.

"But for real, is Deku in the back?"

"Are you serious?" Shoto questioned, seeming very disappointed in you.

"What, you think cause' I went to rehab I stayed clean?"

"I mean, ain't that the point?" he asks.

"Yeah, well, the world is coming to an end, and I haven't even graduated high school yet."

You gave Shoto one more smile before going to Deku, whilst Shoto stared at you the entire way there; There was a hint of sadness in his eyes, but since you were too busy looking for Deku, you didn't see.

You opened one of the doors of the refrigerators, leading you right to him with a bowl of fruit loops,"I thought your ass was dead," he said one he saw your appearance.

"And I thought you had Asperger's till I realized your just a prick," you barked back.

"This a fickle industry, y'all come and go. I'm just trying to stack my cash, pay off our mortgage," he said while pulling out a bunch of plastic bags out of a microwave.

"So what the fuck do you want?" You gave him a knowing look before he handed you needed.

"You sure you don't want to try something new?" He asks you.

"Like what?"

"2C-T-2, 2C-T-7, and 5-MeO-DIPT."

"I'm sorry I have no fucking idea of what you just said."

"It doesn't matter," he stated, "but this shit, is fucking lit."

"What is it?"

"N-diisopropyl-5-methoxytryptamine. It's a fast-acting psychedelic."

Got some similarities to LSD, but with, like, key differences. Not as visual as shit, but definitely a sense distorter.

"What's wrong?" That same dark purple hair girl questioned.

"I'm just so happy," you responded back.

"I don't know, this shits been going off in Tampa, and mad people like to fuck with this," Deku continued on with his descriptions with the drug.

"Okay. Yeah, why not."

"That'll be 120."

"Oh uh, Shoto said he'd spot me."

"Shoto doesn't spot nobody."

"Yeah, well, it's a post-rehab discount, so you should ask him."

"I will go ask him, cause' I know your full of shit."

Those were the last words he said before you walked out. Those were the last words you heard before you saw the same two boys in freshman year.

Bakugo and Kirishima.

TAGLIST: (send an ask or reply to add or remove) @urinejaeger, @saturxnn, @lv9su, @minnipe, @flamgosstuff, @lilrockzstar, @actfsgxcv, @lovebuggyboo, @russochild19, @iits-lexie, @mendez5657, @animatronicrat, @thirstygorl, @scrittynotfound, @pleaseleavemebelol, @thymebread, @cocojellie, @vxnanaaa-blog, @tn-johnson, @knotatwink, @hpttstears, @blackcatluna, @queennb-123, @nndntahg

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that-ari-blogger · 7 months

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Doctor Who's Magnum Opus

TW: Mention of suicide.

It's Vincent and the Doctor. This is not up for debate, I am right. This is a hill I will die on. Vincent and The Doctor is the best 45 minutes of television ever put to screen.

But this post isn't only to gush, this post is to try and explain why the episode has such an emotional impact.

But I want to stress this: If you haven't already watched this episode, please do. You don't need to have watched Doctor Who before, pop culture osmosis has definitely filled you in on everything you need to know. Please give it a go.

SPOILERS AHEAD

So, first up is the scene in which we meet Vincent. Its short, and the opening of the episode, but it's this shot:

I am firmly of the belief that character introductions are some of the most important scenes in a story, and Van Gogh has a fascinating introduction. The opening few seconds give you the most important details of this new character, and it's his eyes. This episode is about how Vincent sees the world.

But the character introduction doesn't stop there. Still before the opening credits, the story starts again, this time in an art gallery with various folks talking about this historical painter. We get a child saying the following:

"He was the doctor who took care of Van Gogh when he started to go mad."

Contrast this with Bill Nighy's character, Dr. Black, fanboying over Vincent, and we get the rest of this story explained to us. This is also a story about how the world sees Vincent.

Then we get Vincent's actual introduction, the point where our protagonists meet, and it is... understated.

There's no ceremony about it, it just happens quietly. But there's something about Vincent's actions that I want to point out. He refuses help.

"You don't know three things. One, I pay for my own drinks thank you. Two, nobody ever buys any of my paintings or they'll be laughed out of town, so if you want to stay in town, I suggest you keep your cash to yourself. And three, your friend's cute."

I cannot understate how phenomenal of a line this is. It establishes lore, of course, but it also establishes Vincent's personality. This is a man who is down on his luck but cannot accept help. This is a man who is spiralling but refuses to be defended, justifying it as protecting someone else's honour.

At this point, the world sees Vincent in the same way he sees himself. He's mad, and an awful artist.

But I know what scene you are waiting for me to mention. So here it is. Vincent in the gallery. That panoramic shot and the conversation with Bill Nighy.

And again, its understated. On the surface of it, this is boring. Its just Vincent's face and some paintings and some sweet music. Bill Nighy doesn't even say anything we haven't heard him say before in this same episode. So why is it so influential?

Of course, one highlight is Tonny Curran's acting and how the camera frames it. In a story like this, the best special effect you can have is just a close-up of an actor earning their paycheck and then some. There is no loud weeping or ugly crying, this is so subtle, and so masterfully acted.

The other significant element is the context. I mentioned earlier that this episode is the contrast between how Vincent and the world saw each other. And up until now, Vincent and the world have been on the same page, but it's only here that the two views differ so much. Finally, Vincent is in a world where people unironically love his creations, where someone can fanboy over him without a care of being chased off, that's why this has such an effect. Not because of what it says, but because of what it does.

But there's one more scene that I want to mention.

Vincent still commits suicide. They don't save him. I don't need to explain why that is heart-wrenching. But this final scene unpacks that and presents the following idea:

"Every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."

No, they didn't save Vincent. You can't do that in 45 minutes. But they did make a difference. They gave a man in pain some respite hope for the future, they made his life just that little bit better. And that's all anyone can ask to do.

#rants #character analysis #literary analysis #literature analysis #vincent van gogh #doctor who #11th doctor #vincent and the doctor

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tatangadragon · 4 months

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you know, I really do think Vincent And The Doctor is one of the best episodes of doctor who.

I remember when I first watched it-I was around 13, depressed, grappling with the newly discovered gender dysphoria,the whole package-and I remember being disappointed about the ending. van gogh still ended up dying, i thought. he still ended up killing himself. so this whole thing was useless.

but as I thought more about it I realised that that's Not The Point. not only would it not make sense, what with time travel and trying to limit impact you cause on history and all of that-but it was just never about that, it was never about trying to change the ending.

van gogh killed himself. that's what happened. and no amount of whimsical time travel or sci fi antics can just magically zap mental illness and pain away, that's not how it works. but that's not the point. a difference was still made, even if it didn't affect the ending. he still killed himself, yes, but that doesn't mean it was all pain. joy was still found even in the middle of mental illness. he still painted those sunflowers.

I'm older now, and while I'm still depressed I've learned how to deal with it better. and I better understand what the message of the episode was. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant. and sometimes, adding onto the pile of good things is all you can do. but that's alright, because it's enough. it matters.

#tatan speaks #long post #doctor who #vincent and the doctor #dr who #ME?ACTUALLY WRITING SERIOUS ANALYSIS? its more likely than youd think!

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wistfulcynic · 5 months

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i was never much of a Ten girlie. i liked him, i was sad when he went, but honestly i warmed to Eleven pretty quickly. i liked the low-key but pure weird he brought to the character and some of his episodes (van gogh, the christmas special with the sharks in the air) are among my favourite who episodes ever. But he had awful writing in the end and the RTD era just had that spark that moffatt and chibnall could never quite capture. i think i got used to watching doctor who with a sort of base expectation of disappointment, to the point where it almost became a chore.

watching the credits roll on wild blue yonder tonight i thought, man it feels so good to love doctor who again. i didn't realise how badly i'd missed it.

#doctor who #wild blue yonder #fourteenth doctor #donna noble #tenth doctor #eleventh doctor #doctor who meta

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familyabolisher · 11 months

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omg I don’t remember the Van Gogh ep very well pls say more

there’s something just very unpleasant and patronising about the whole tone that the episode takes. i’m not especially fond of the tendency to narrativise real people anyway, but i think some of dw’s other episodes manage to strike a more lighthearted tone which aims to build a plot around the presence of a famous historical figure (charles dickens, agatha christie, shakespeare, regrettably churchill), sometimes exploiting biographical details (the plot of the unicorn and the wasp hinges on christie’s real-life three-day disappearance, for instance, and draws not inconsiderably from the breakdown of her marriage) but often not seeking to inhabit or interiorize the historical figure in question to an extent that supercedes the desire to like, tell a story in an episode of doctor who. the tone of the episodes doesn’t tend to veer outside of the register of like, It’s The Fun BBC Science Fiction Show.

by contrast, there’s something very … condescending, i think, about how van gogh (the real van gogh!) is treated in vincent and the doctor. it strikes this odd tone between like a platitudinous approach to the nebulous concept of ‘mental health’ of the #BeKind ilk and this almost voyeuristic desire to paint a mentally ill man as, like, at once necessarily separate from the audience such that we must Encounter him (the presumed audience is never themselves mentally ill; we are here to Learn about mental illness and to Reflect on our desire to disenfranchise the mentally ill! etc) and available to us as a source from which we can extract all sorts of Lessons about Mental Health. the tone of the episode is very self-serious; it is very clearly aware of itself as an episode with Something To Say. that being, that VVG’s suicidality couldn’t have been prevented by the doctor and amy or by idk The Power of Art (And One’s Own Legacy Within It), that the doctor is limited in what ‘monsters’ he can fight and what ‘monsters’ he cannot, that we (for whom the doctor + amy briefly become audience surrogates 1 and 2, amy in particular) are tasked with Being Kind anyway because we might make a small difference in someone’s life such that they, for example, dedicate a painting of sunflowers to us. (lmfao?)

it’s just weirdly cannibalistic; it’s taking this historical figure and extrapolating a bunch of like, sweeping moralising statements and supposedly affecting scenes (i know many people find the scene in the musée d’orsay vv affecting; i thought it was stupid, sorry), trying to say something about artistic brilliance & artistic legacy but not really landing on anything coherent or interesting beyond like, art by marginalised people is depreciated (true!) but we can fix that by appreciating it, in the musée d’orsay (fuck off!), but Even That can’t make someone not suicidal (true but collapsed by the narrative as quickly as it comes, and also not really … interesting). it wants so badly to say something about van gogh, but it doesn’t feel like an episode that cares about van gogh the man as much as it cares about using van gogh as a metonymic shorthand for all these ideas around Mental Health and Art and Madness and Legacy. which is what i meant when i said it feels cannibalistic—and intrusive at points! i felt uncomfortable watching it in ways that i didn’t with eg. the dickens, christie, shakespeare eps.

#ask #doctor who #also hi sorry for answering asks from uhhhhh two weeks ago. lol.

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gasping-ghostzes · 7 months

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My Roman Empire is ‘Vincent and The Doctor’

CW/TW: depression and Suicide

I remembering watching this episode for the first time, I was told it was heart breaking, but I was sobbing by the end. I’m not necessarily a Van Gogh die hard fan, but I am an avid admirer of his works and his life. When I tell yous that I think of this episode on the daily, I actually mean it. I was actually so worried that the episode would simply wash out Van High’s struggle with his mental health, but it didn’t. Which I’m so proud of, to me and many Van Gogh admirers, many of his works reflected his health at the time with the use of colour, shape and composition. So having Van High’s mental health be a key plot point within the episode was at-least the first reason for my love of this episode.

Reason 2? Simply how the episode is completed, instead of having Van Gogh’s life and mental health suddenly turn around after the Krafayis was killed, the episode took the most realistic approach. Because although the Doctor took Van Gogh to the future to see and hear of his own intense influence on the art world, that wasn’t able to stop Van Gogh’s passing. The episode to me shows that even though Van Gogh’s trouble with the Krafayis was gotten rid of, his troubles with his own health were not cured. I think that writing an episode where getting rid of the Krafayis would cure Van Gogh’s health struggles would have been lazy writing as it would be exactly what the audience wants. But this episode doesn’t shy away with the idea of being blunt and giving the audience the most real and human feeling while watching the episode.

To me, the Krafayis was simply another way for the writer/s to represent Van Gogh. In Van Gogh’s monologue, it seems that Van Gogh had related to the struggle of the Krafayis, being isolated and treated brutally by society and their own community is what coneys both Van Gogh and the Krafayis. Everything within this episode was perfect to me honestly, words can’t even describe it for me.

Lastly! The end scene of the Doctor and Amy taking Van Gogh to the future to see how his artworks truly impacted the creation, inspiration and meaning of art. Although Van Gogh is most definitely touched emotionally at the knowledge of how his paintings became essential to the world, it was soon revealed that much to Amy’s dismay, it had changed nothing to what happen to Van Gogh. But I think it’s exactly that, that makes this episode so beautiful to me. There wasn’t this moral obligation for Van Gogh to stay just because he saw how essential and admired his artworks became. I think in reality, not changing that important fact was the most perfect and realistic part of this episode. It’s quite a brutal part of suicide, because although that day may have changed Van Gogh’s life then, it was likely that the continuous torment, isolation and poor treatment of Van Gogh eventually got to him. Which although is quite sad, it’s simply a brutal truth of depression, to me, depression comes and goes in waves, some waves could be more or less aggressive than the majority, but that doesn’t change the small but important part that depression doesn’t just go away cause of one good day.

Van Gogh had to live in a time and life where he was socially isolated, lived with untreated mental health and in a time where mental health was extremely stigmatised and not studied as well as modern day society. It took place during a time where religion dominated society, and any mental health issues was seen as simply fake or not taken as a serious concern and threat. Because of this, many people who were different from social norms of the time were considered to willing go against religion and god. This explains exactly how and why Van Gogh was so mistreated and isolated from his community in his day to day life.

#tw depression #cw suicide #character analysis #my roman empire #cw depression #tw suicide #eleventh doctor #vincent and the doctor #mental health #mentalheathawareness #vincent van gogh #whovian #the doctor #doctor who

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floating-in-the-blue · 7 months

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Okay, stopping with the Defiance spam but I'm still so salty that show never did bigger numbers on tumblr. I know it's been ten years since season 1 but still. It's so bisexual! It's a post-apocalyptic Sci-Fi-Western with Shakespearean vibes. Everyone has a tragic backstory. Nearly everyone is a war criminal. There's humour and tragedy. Sex workers are respected. The costumes are fantastic. The set design is fantastic. The music is fantastic. The conlangs are fantastic and really integrated into the show, including the music!! The last ep I watched had a cover of "What's Up" but half of it was in an alien language!

Sure the group marriage was just a side bit but it's established canon that those exist and are normal! Vincent van Gogh from that one Doctor Who episode is in this and he's just one of many excellent actors doing a fantastic job! There's so many complex and amazing female characters!!

Is the cgi occasionally a bit old-fashioned? Sure. There's a few make-up glitches in the pilot episode but who cares? We're still watching the original series of Star Trek.

I just don't understand why it never got more recognition on tumblr.

#defiance #I am having EMOTIONS about this show again

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variousqueerthings · 5 months

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Vincent And The Doctor! an episode that is both bad and good! but the good outweighs the bad, because Vincent is just so good!

but there is in fact an alien in this story as well, sooo...

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 7/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored): 6/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 6/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 6/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 4/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 9/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 8/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 8/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 7/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 8/10

FULL RATING: 69/100 (if I can count….)

this episode we watch Matt Smith as a British man very seriously say "Vincent van Goffff" over and over again, but Bill Nighy did it right so that's good

and Amy screams a lot and doesn't remember the past

OBJECTIFICATION: Amy is not wearing a miniskirt! yay! she is wearing short shorts under a long jacket and scarf, so idk. not shorts-weather I guess, but at least she can run in this (although she doesn't do much running on the whole this episode)

PLOT-POINT: Soooooo I rated this one quite high, which I think is a bit generous of me, but the thing is that in this episode the reason that Amy isn't exploring what happened to her last episode is because she doesn't remember it happening!

and the Doctor is trying very hard to protect her from those feelings. but Vincent recognises them. there's a bit of "the body remembers" happening here, and so I think this is acceptable. Especially the bit where the Doctor says "Amy- Rory" out of habit and she asks "who?"

I also like that she's excited to see more Van Gogh paintings and is someone who fails to consider how mental health can have good days and bad days. Prompting this quote of all time:

"the good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant. and we definitely added to his pile of good things."

COMPLEXITY: the plot is kind of two things, one of which is obviously stronger (Vincent) than the other (the Krafayis). they never quite come together, or specifically the latter is underdeveloped. I guess it has that speech at the end where Vincent is saying that it lashed out because it was afraid, like people do (the people who are terrible to him for being different), but I'm not sure that's what it should be about. especially when they discover that the Krafayis is blind, which happens right before it's killed. the Krafayis is disabled, like Vincent is

it's kind of a messed up story. right before it dies it goes "I am afraid." They just killed this being, which was abandoned for being disabled. that is the failing side of the episode

However simply as a story about Vincent van Gogh it's pretty lovely, and what it's remembered for. I don't agree with the bit where he talks about being left utterly alone and that framing, because historically he had people who cared for him, and he wasn't anti-doctors either, but I understand why it works for some of what's being said -- Amy and the Doctor are there, and Vincent is still suffering from serious mental health issues and feels alone in that

So in that sense the complexity works -- complexity of emotion

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: the underlying thing here is how Vincent recognises Amy's pain as someone who is also in pain, and Amy of course has no idea what he's on about

overall though it's meant to be -- and works as -- a standalone and doesn't need to be more than that. also as a character Thing, the Doctor's hyperactivity and of it all is a fun detail

COMPANIONS MATTER: Amy doesn't do much outside of her chat with Vincent, which isn't bad. She's ostensibly the emotional anchor to the Doctor's doing stuff. however, am noticing that this scores consistently a bit lower on most episodes and whether I should be getting harsher about it, because at this point Amy is apparently super With It, she knows time travel, she's confident, etc. So why is she still mostly just hanging around?

I do wish she had more... opinions on things. they lie there and see the night sky and she says nothing. the script struggles to make her anchoring Vincent have much to do with herself, or to tie it into the plot. Why is she not the person who suggests taking Vincent to the present, for example?

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: the Doctor is there to admire Vincent van Gogh, as is right and good!

I do think it's bold that the Doctor is so bad at relating to Vincent's issues though, considering the Doctor is the posterboy for mental health issues

I kind of wish the Doctor had been more able in this episode, specifically with the Krafayis. he's so helpless until the end and then it dies, it seems kind of odd for him

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: Hartnell and Troughton visuals! Nothing special in it, but again, it's a standalone

"SEXINESS": we almost don't have this, and it's frankly because the actor for Van Gogh is so good that he doesn't make it seem creepy that Vincent is just hitting on her from moment one. there's also some quite dorky flirting (Richard Curtis style) which is much more charming

INTERNAL WORLD: I guess this is fine. Again, some of the characterisation of what was happening around Van Gogh is shifted to suit the episode, and I don't think it needed to be, but it's suitable for purpose. also the casting is so good!

POLITICS: so the bad is as mentioned above, the alien portrayal, when we discover it's abandoned and disabled

On the flipside the things about Vincent's mental health, and how that's presented on the whole, famously, is considered pretty good

it's not about "fixing" him, or about mental illness as necessary for the sake of good art, or about covering up the fact that he committed suicide, it's simply presenting him as a man

and of course the famous scene at the end -- what if someone who wasn't convinced that they were any good or much worth in their lifetime got to experience how they were remembered? not everything is about legacy of course, but in this case it works precisely because it doesn't work as a "fixer," but it does provide some solace

so in the end it's really about moments of solace

FULL RATING: 69/100 (if I can count….)

I actually thought this story would rate higher, but where it lets us down is in everything around the admittedly wonderful portrayal of Vincent van Gogh. Especially, again... Amy doesn't do that much. And the quite unfortunate implications in the way the alien of the week is portrayed

on the flipside it's a wonderful little exploration of mental illness and a portrait of a wonderful painter!

#im watching nu!who #im watching eleven who #the measurement #vincent and the doctor

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pinkboxess · 4 days

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⭐️I want you to do a little directors cut so bad but I don’t have the time right now to pull out a specific scene from one of your fics so you chose!!⭐️

Okay, after thinking, I'm going to talk about sunflowers, again. I'll add a cut since this will get long. Also this is like....heavy and sad, so sorry about that.

This is one of my fics where I actually put more artistic thought into it. I wrote the fic after I visited a Monet exhibit in February. It made me think about Ted's visit to the Van Gogh museum in season 3, and the connections between him and Van Gogh (sunflowers, suicide), and thus the fic was born.

I'll give some more behind-the-scenes details about some of the sections

“Do you have any guns, knives, or other weapons on your person?” the employee asks. “No siree bob,” replies Ted. “Only guns in the room are these bad boys.” He flexes his arm comically, causing Rebecca to choke on a smothered laugh and elbow him in the ribs.

When I visited the Monet exhibit there was a security agent who asked us about weapons. I just imagined how Ted might respond to the same thing when he's feeling anxious and rambly

In the next room, the museum has placed Cafe Terrace at Night and Wheatfield with Crows adjacent to each other. They have similar colours: bright mustard yellow, a deep, powerful blue. Whenever Rebecca looks at art, she imagines herself inside of it. What might it be like to order dinner at that cafe? Or to chase the crows away from the wheat?

This is often how I engage with art. I imagine myself inhabiting it. I am really interested in historical clothing (and furniture and items generally, to a lesser degree) and I love to go to museums just to look at items and imagine who wore them, used them, and inhabited them. Imagined what it would be like to be the person who wore that dress. Place myself within their perspective by gazing at something that once was part of their life.

“He did it cause he didn’t think he was a good dad. Didn’t think he mattered.” “Oh, love,” Rebecca soothes. “But look at this guy. He thought the same thing, but here we are, all these years later lookin’ at his art.”

This section is heavily inspired by the Van Gogh episode of Doctor Who. I'm not really a Doctor Who fan, but a friend of mine made me go watch a clip of that episode specifically, and it has violently imprinted itself into my mind.

In the episode, Vincent time travels with the Doctor to a museum displaying his work. The Doctor is doing it to convince Vincent that he is famous in the future and people love his work. He's hesitant to believe it because in his own lifetime he wasn't valued as an artist.

Then the curator of the museum says to a visitor that Van Gogh is possibly the greatest artist who ever lived, and Vincent hears him, and he gets it.

It is just so striking to me to imagine an experience like that. It's something that never could really happen, because it's sci-fi, but it's incredible to think about. What if you could know how people think about you decades or centuries in the future? After you're gone? What if you could see your legacy before it's even happened, and see that you even have a legacy at all?

We don't know anything about Ted's dad really, but I suppose in my imagination I think he's the type of person who would be changed by the experience of watching Ted go to therapy and process his trauma. If he thought he was someone who didn't matter in life, he might be surprised to see how Ted engages with his memory after his death. Ted's statement of "I still need my dad" is my attempt at something would impact Ted's father in a way that mirrors Van Gogh's reaction to the words of the curator. And I think Ted might think, in his own mind, that by healing himself, he is also kind of healing what happened with his dad, in some way.

Even later, a few weeks after their museum trip, Rebecca comes home to find a print of Vase with Fifteen Sunflowers hung up in the kitchen. She doesn’t ask him about it. She doesn’t need to: she sees his quiet smile as he looks at it while he cooks for her.

This ending is a manifestation of that feeling for Ted. He's not avoiding Van Gogh-- in fact he's actively bringing it into the house-- because he thinks of it as part of the healing process.

#ask answered #this got very philosophical very fast

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episodeoftv · 6 months

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2nd Place Vote 2 (other final votes)

propaganda and summaries are under the cut (May include spoilers)

Doctor Who (2005): 5.10 Vincent and the Doctor

Tw: is about Vincent Van Gogh so does deal with self harm, depression, and suicide (but not graphically, just this is what happened in his life and they acknowledge it)

The Doctor and Amy travel back in time to meet Vincent Van Gogh and face an invisible monster that only the painter can see.

Not the showiest or even the best episode of Dr Who, but the one that I can’t watch without tearing up at the end. Really well written and performed and generally gorgeous to watch as well. I first saw it when I was ten and the speech at the end has imprinted on my brain and given me a language to help understand the ups and downs that life brings. It’s just a lovely one.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vincent_and_the_Doctor

Star Trek: The Original Series: 2.05 Amok Time

In the throes of his Pon Farr mating period, Spock must return to Vulcan to meet his intended future wife, betrothed from childhood.

this is the fuck or die episode

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amok_Time

#dw #doctor who #star trek #st tos #star trek the original series #poll #polls #round8

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diamondbrickz · 8 months

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does anyone else make really silly and elaborate time travel fantasies? go back and assassinate/un-assassinate major political figures? talk to ancient philosophers? give a victorian child monster? nah, no i don’t wanna do that.

i wanna go back to 1980-something, record on a cd of me playing a bunch of famous pop song melodies from then until now on a piano or something, seal it up and mark it with “DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2000” and leave it in a bank safe somewhere, and just travel forward to see what would happen.

i wanna go back in time, explain thoroughly the workings of my phone and the internet to tesla or something just for funsies.

i want to go grab jesus gandhi siddhartha and confucius as young adults and tour new york or nasa with them, and show the wonders of the modern day. hell why not let’s bring leonardo da vinci and newton. maybe vaccinate em and give them gas masks and cool translators though. like hey guys cmere i wanna experience wonder and awe at how far the human race has come.

i wanna see what would happen if i just handed a textbook on electricity to someone in the 1700s. or showed an early programmer or video game developer the extent that technology went, where people create wonderful paintings and art and music and games all on their own.

i want to just like bring a bunch of famous musicians into a room and see what madness could be made. i wanna see what duke ellington and freddie mercury and beethoven could make together. i wanna then take that mixtape and publish it but then go back and pay the damn guys properly.

i don’t even watch doctor who but i wanna do that van gogh episode so bad but with so many other famous artists and musicians and writers that sadly ended up destitute and dead. poe i’m looking at you

ACTUALLY!! one of the biggest things i’ve always wanted was to bring a movie audience from the early 1900s to sit and experience a (good) modern day movie experience, fuckin like baby driver or infinity war or hell avatar or something why not, and just experience giddily see them experience full color 4k hd and cgi and surround sound and stuff

i mean a guess a lot of these fall under the trope of “go back in time and show famous person day!” but like. seriously. i think unironically if time travel does exist somehow i would want to do the “characters watch the show, even for after the episode they came from” type fanfiction except with real life

anyway. yeah. like seriously i just want to reenact how i felt as new tech came out but in an even deeper way ya know

#lowkey maybe i should just write a short story #time travel #long post #ramble #rambles #rant

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