#I know hes improving for himself but he is thus making an effort for me for example. He asks a lot of questions and seem to pay attention

[bodyelectr1c]

hiii i have a request can u do austin teasing reader during events pls?

tease

reader has enough of austin’s relentless teasing

a little bit of plot, but majority is just filthy

warnings: smut, teasing, semi public, sort of sub austin? oral (m+f receiving), bathroom ‘sex,’ whiny austin, overstim. probably more but idk

thank you SO much for the request!! i hope i did it justice, but if i didn’t, feel free to ask again, and delve into the idea more, or any other requests y’all have, i’ll try to fulfill them. anyways, enjoy!

you’d been used to austin testing the limits at events; finding a darker corner to quickly paw at your boobs, or subtly brush past you and angle his hips forward in the slightest, pressing his clothed length against whatever you’d been dressed in that night; it was his way of telling you how pretty you looked, and how desperate he was to fuck you into the mattress as soon you you both got home.

the idea of being caught turned him on, without a doubt- but he knew better than to take any of his teasing to another level. his career was unimaginably important to him; it wasn’t up for compromise, and he took pride in the work he accomplished, always feeling a ripple of unabashed confidence whenever complimented by someone- especially you, on his efforts and devotion to the characters he plays,

little did you know how much the praise made him want to fuck you dumb, bury himself deep in you and beg you to tell him how good he was at it. you only took notice of this after he came almost instantly after you somehow thought to bring up a recent award show nomination of his during sex, whining about how you were so proud to have a “famous boyfriend who fucks me so good,” squirming as he drilled your pussy into the mattress.

this made you extra sure to praise him as often as you could in the days leading up to the award show. it boosted his ego in a filthy way, and you relished in the fact that your words had such an impact on him

when the day of the award show finally arrived, and you’d both made your way through a myriad of cameras and interviewers on the red carpet showering austin with compliments of the work on his nominated role. these visibly improved austin’s already ‘over the moon’ mood for the night, and they accompanied the dirty remarks you’d been purposefully making in the last few days, most recently whilst bouncing on his dick babbling about how you were “taking the cock of a hollywood star,” as his eyes rolled back in his head.

you both found yourselves sat in a relatively close proximity to the stage, the table in front of you laden with a dark cloth, which austin immediately took advantage of, putting his hand to work tracing abstract patterns on your thighs through the slit in your sleek dress. you were used to this, and he never took it farther than this, but he was relentlessly needy with all the commendation that had been thrown his way thus far in the night.

in an attempt at subtlety, he brought his hand up from its prior position, and interlocked his fingers with yours, giving you a pleading look before squeezing your hand gently to communicate his sexual desperation to you:

“please baby- please, i need it so bad,”

he whispered against the shell of your ear. you’d decided to leave him almost writhing, not because it turned you on (which it did,) but because you knew how loud he could be, and at this point, after the array of compliments he’d gotten, even touching his cock over his clothes would exude whines and groans too loud to not draw attention to you two.

after sensing that you were not going to comply, he let out a barely audible whine, before resuming his previous task, this time with more vigour, his fingers hastily made their way up your leg and circled your inner thigh. you gave him a disapproving look, but didn’t have the self control to stop him. somehow, nobody had noticed yet, but you were sure your dress looked bunched at the mid riff as he lifted it higher tasking himself with pleasing you, maybe as a reward for complying and feeding into to his recently anointed cockiness.

his fingers pushed past your already scarce underwear, moving it to the side before working his fingers around in painfully slow circles, pushing deeper into your folds progressively.

“austin, stop- fuck, we’re gonna get caught,” you feigned confidence, failing and whimpering slightly as you leaned in his direction.

he only leaned in closer, breath hot against your skin: “can’t help it baby, you’re driving me crazy.”

as he continued his pursuit, it became clear that you were finding it harder and harder to control yourself, letting out occasional hums of pleasure and bringing your hand up to your mouth in a somewhat swift motion to stifle any escaping moans.

to allow himself to get deeper inside you, austin shuffled his chair closer to yours before planting a soft kiss to the corner of your lips, which, to anyone around you, would look like a quick act of endearment. frankly- having a ‘dirty little secret’ turned you on more than you’d like to admit.

his fingers stilled when another person you were too occupied to identify walked up to the your table, commending austin for his hard work, reaching out to shake his left hand all while his right hand remained still on your thigh, glossy with your slick

“thank you,” austin replied with a laugh, voice steady despite the situation unfolding below the tablecloth. “i really appreciate it.”

after they’d walked away, you’d decided you’d had enough teasing and abruptly got up, leaving austin’s hand slapping softly against his clothed leg as he looked up at you, big blue eyes laced with confusion and clouded with lust. he didn’t bother questioning as you mindlessly dragged him to the closest bathroom, figuring you both had enough time before anyone noticed you were gone

“baby, you look so divine i can’t keep my hands off you,” -austin practically melted against your body as he closed the door behind you both, locking it swiftly. he raked your dress up, making sure your skin was always touching in one way or another, hands desperately stroking up and down your thighs. he felt breathless without your touch, and you couldn’t bear to see him upset, drifting your hands up to messily tangle in his hair (his stylist would be sure to write you a personal death threat later)

he panted as he placed sloppy, open mouthed kisses all over your exposed neck. you finally gave him some friction.”i need you so bad baby, please touch me- please.”

untangling one of your hands from his hair, you outlined his prominent bulge through his pants. he stilled.

“fuck- fuck, please baby i need your mouth so bad- fuck!” austin whined, writhing for your touch, your warm mouth, your approval. he was too fucking far gone to narrow it down to one, he just knew he needed every single part of you.

you’d die before denying him, and you slid your hands down his now tight pants as you lowered yourself to the cold tile floor on your knees, before palming him, eliciting a string of praise from a very desperate austin, who, on a whim, grabbed your hand and pushed it harder onto his cock, throbbing with need.

“baby, i know you need it bad, but you gotta be patient,” you reassured him, coaxing him through the incessant yearning his hardness had left him with by finally undoing his dress pants and sliding them down enough to pull out his leaking cock. austin brought his hand to your cheek and cupped your face gently, looking at you with a filthy mix of adoration and lustful desire, eyebrows quirking up softly as your hand brushed against his length.

“i need you now, please pretty girl,”

you wasted no more time, taking his tip, red and leaking with anticipation, into your mouth. you gave him flat tongued licks from the thick shaft to the head as he groaned deeply, eyes screwed shut and mouth hanging open in pleasure. it was fucking lewd honestly, and you knew you didn’t have much time before someone came knocking at the door of the small bathroom.

“fuck baby, you’re s’ good, ‘s like you were made for me, your mouth feels s’ good” he was drunk on arousal, words slurring as he babbled barely coherent praises. his fingers tangled in your hair, guiding your head as you took him deeper into your mouth, your tongue swirling around his length, the tip red and weeping with precum. the sensation was fucking overwhelming to him, and he bucked his hips forward slightly, unable to control himself.

“god- fuck, yes,” austin let out a breathy groan, his voice a low rumble. “just like that, baby. you’re so perfect, s’ good for me.”

you hollowed your cheeks, sucking him harder, feeling his cock twitch against your tongue. the obscenity exuded from the mix of his desperate whines and groans mixed with the gagging and wet noises coming from you bobbing on his thick cock only brought him closer. you could tell, and you wanted nothing more than to push him over the edge, to make him come undone right there, right then. you moved faster, taking him as deep as you could, your efforts accompanied by austin pushing your head farther on his cock until he hit the back of your throat, your nose nestled in the patch of hair above his shaft.

"please, don't stop," austin whined, his voice high-pitched and desperate. “i need it so bad. pleasepleaseplease.”

you didn't let up, your pace relentless as you took him deeper, faster. his moans turned into almost pitiful whimpers, each sound making you more determined to make him cum. you could feel his cock throbbing against your tongue, the tension building in his body. austin’s breathing grew ragged, his grip on your hair tightening. “i’m gonna cum, baby. fuck, i’m gonna cum.” with a final, deep thrust and a particularly breathy groan, he spilled into your mouth, his moans filling the small bathroom. you swallowed every drop, savoring the taste of him, before pulling back and looking up at him with a satisfied smile.

before you could process, austin grabbed you by your wrists and gently pulled you up to your feet with a gentle kiss, pupils dilated and eyes dark with lust and genuine adoration for you. “need to make you feel good, please, you’ve been driving me crazy all night, baby” he whispered against your lips, his hands caressing your body. “wanna make you cum,” he panted against you, hot breath fanning across your skin making you shiver in anticipation.

after lifting your dress with one of his hands, he dropped to his knees wordlessly, warm breath ghosting over your already dripping core, sending shivers up your spine. your panties were fucking soaked, and he audibly groaned at the sight before him, basking in the glory of making you so wet without even touching you. he mouthed sweet kisses on your thighs, sucking and biting marks onto your skin as he used his other hand to tug at the sheer waistband of your underwear bringing it down, prompting you to step out of it. he effortlessly tucked your panties into the pocket of his dress pants after you’d stepped out them, making you moan out of just how dirty this whole situation was.

“austin, please, i need you baby, please touch me.” you whined, desperate to chase your release after seeing how good you’d made him feel.

without hesitation he latched onto you, his tongue moving with loving precision. you gasped, your hands flying to his already tousled hair, trying to keep yourself upright as waves of pleasure washed over you. his tongue worked it’s filthy magic, alternating between gentle flicks at your clit and slow, deep movements inside you. you were a babbling mess, your knees weak as you practically rode his face, his stubble brushing against your thighs as you clamped your legs around his head as much as the position allowed you. he relished in your moans, drinking up everything you were giving him- metaphorically and physically. the obscene noises coming from you, and his tongue swirling around your soaked clit were enough to make him insanely hard again. his hands help your hips gently but firmly to keep you steady, determined to make you cum.

“austin, fuck- i’m gonna cum” you tried to warn him, but the words dissolved into a cry of pleasure as your orgasm swept through you, your body shuddering with the intensity of it. every muscle in your body was tense, hands anchoring themselves in his hair in an attempt at staying upright. your breathing became progressively laboured, and loud- ragged, each inhale and exhale a struggle as you tried to maintain some semblance of control. he made it impossible. his fingers dug into the fat of your thighs occasionally, attempting to ground you the way he held you was almost reverent, as if he was worshipping you, savouring the way your body responded to him. as he continued, he hummed softly against you, vibrations adding another layer to the already intense sensation. his eyes would occasionally flick up to meet yours, displaying a filthy mix of arousal and adoration. something about seeing you like this, completely undone because of him drove him fucking insane; the way your back arched, the way your head fell back, the way your breath hitched with every movement he made—it drove him wild.

your legs began to tremble uncontrollably, your body on the verge of giving out. the sensation was too much, too intense, and you could feel the edges of your orgasm building, threatening to crash over you. you tried to tell austin how close you were, but all that came out was a string of broken moans and gasps. he seemed to understand, though, tongue moving impossibly faster around your swollen bud, more insistent, as if he wanted to draw every bit of pleasure from you.

just as your body decided you couldn’t take it anymore, giving into the stimulation, he changed his technique, skilled tongue pressing flat against your clit and moving in slow, firm circles. the change in pressure and speed was your undoing. your body tensed, every nerve ending on fire, as you finally tipped over the edge. your orgasm hit you in relentless waves, crashing over you, pulling you under. you cried out against austin as your legs gave out, hands clamping around his shoulders. your whole body shuddered, convulsing with the force of it.

austin didn’t stop, didn’t let up, drawing out your pleasure, making sure you felt every second of your release. his tongue continued its assault, gentler now, easing you through the aftershocks, lapping at your clit to catch anything your body would give him. he murmured praises against your skin, voice soothing, grounding. you could feel his hands still holding you, steadying you, as your body slowly came down from its high.

as the waves of pleasure subsided, you were left trembling, weak, your body boneless and sated. austin gently kissed his way up your body, his touch tender, loving. he looked up at you, his eyes filled with a mix of pride and adoration, his lips glistening with your arousal.

“you taste so good baby, like fucking candy” he whispered, his voice husky, filled with affection. he kissed you hungrily, letting you taste yourself on his tongue, the intimacy and sheer dirtiness of the moment almost overwhelming to you.

with a final, lingering kiss, he helped you back up to your feet, your legs still shaky from the intensity of your orgasm. “we should get back," he murmured, his voice a mix of laugher and satisfaction, a smirk lingering on his face as he chuckled at your fucked out state. “before anyone notices we're gone."

you nodded, still in the process of catching your breath, and began to straighten your dress, smoothing out the wrinkles left by austins desperate touches, and making sure you looked presentable. austin followed suit, his fingers running through his hair, fixing it as best as he could. his eyes never left you, a soft, lingering smile playing on his lips as he watched you.

“you look stunning baby,” he professed softly, his voice filled with awe. “even prettier now; fucking perfect, all for me.”

he opened the bathroom door slightly, peeking out to make sure the coast was clear. satisfied that no one was nearby, he took your hand languidly and led you back towards your table. the sounds of the beginning of the ceremony began to fill your ears, a stark contrast to the obscenities of the bathroom.

as you approached your table, you could see that no one had noticed your absence, the guests engrossed in the ongoing ceremony. you slipped back into your seats, austin's hand never leaving yours. he’d lost all his nerves about winning the award at this point, satisfied that no matter the outcome of the night, he’d fuck you into oblivion as soon as you both got home.

[reemonna]

HI! Love ur blog. Can I req some nsfw headcanons for Connor Kenway? ;)

Oh dear, this is the first time for me to write a whole nsfw blog and I'm so anxious about it, especially if it's about Connor. I hope I won't disappoint and thank you so much!

!!! (Warning: NSFW / not for minors / +18 content) !!!

NSFW Ratonhnhaké:ton / Connor Kenway headcanons

(During the events of AC3)

In spite of his terrifying physique and alarming gazes when he's hunting down an enemy, he can be the softest and most caring creature you'll ever get to know when it comes to him having a physical contact with you

He's so strong and able-bodied, so he can pin you to the wall with both his arms easily and you're here squirming before his huge body

When you're giving him head for the first time he'd be really concerned and anxious the whole time that you might choke. He's fully aware he is that huge

Him having kinks? I don't think so. He's an innocent boy, it's even possible for him not knowing what does the word 'kink' stand for in the first place. He could even ask you about it

"Nó:ronhkwe (love), what does the word 'kink' mean?"

"Where did you hear that from?"

But if he did have kinks, they would be the least risky and hurtful ones. Which means BDSM is a conclusive no for him

Connor is a busy man, he doesn't really have the time to have sexual and romantic relationships, he was once afraid he couldn't give his woman what she deserves. So having you would be his first. Yes, that means he is a virgin

Thus explain why he's shy and probably doesn't know what he's doing in your first time together. But he's a fast learner, with very observant eyes and sharp senses, he will take some mental notes of how to improve and get better by the time. And he definitely does

He's pretty skilled with his hands, according to training and using different weapons and managing them perfectly, so he really knows how to use them well, and he's ready to show you that in other ways than fighting, to play you like a violin, turning you into a sobbing mess

During the whole thing he will ask you some questions from time to time like 'Are you okay with this?', 'Am I doing good?', 'Do you want me to stop?' to let you know that he's wary and willing to make it as comfortable and pleasurable for you as possible

You wouldn't imagine what it's like to do it with him when he's mad about something. He turns into one brutal beast you won't be able to feel your body for a week at least

Once he's done and returns back to his senses, he will regret it immediately and keep on apologising (even if you're not really protesting), making sure you weren't badly hurt

When you're both close enough, he likes to play chasing games with you, tag for an example. He likes watching you from afar, determining your location with his secondary vision, licking his lips and eyeing you in a predatory way, closing the distance between you slowly like a vulture hunting down its prey. That's until he surprises you with a full-of-happiness giggle and hugs you. Holding you tight in a teddy bear way as if he's won his prize, whispering promises of a long blissful night to your ears

He looks like a sculpted statue of a greek god after reaching his climax. With his tired handsome face, pumped lips (more than they actually are), sleepy beautiful half-closed eyes, flushed tanned skin, tiny whines escaping his lips from time to time, sculpted flawless body and a rising and lowering sweaty chest. If he's conscious enough he would have a little wanton smirk on his lips with his eyes fixed upon you

He's the sweetest boy when it comes to the aftercare. He gives away lots of kisses and cuddles, asking you if he did well enough, could even prepare a bath for you to get cleaned up. He doesn't let you make the least effort possible. He takes care of everything himself until he finally lays beside you in bed, pulling you into his lap, fondling your hair tresses and kissing your forehead softly, wishing you sweet dreams

[knightyoomyoui]

Momo x M Reader - "Crazy Stupid Love"

So this is one of my requests and probably the LONGEST one I had to grant because I just realized today that one of my readers made this request since November 2022, so I just want to say my huge apologies to you Dumbledore_1 for taking me too long to finally make this piece. This one-shot is a sequel to my Set 4 Momo x M Reader work titled "Somebody That I Used To Know" so if yall haven't read that one, better do so because you might not understand a little on what this story is about to tell and to give you guys a background from what happened to Momo and the reader's past, although I tackled the main point of this story clearly though. Lastly, I labeled this as only for male reader to feature because the first one also features only male reader, so it might be a weird for the female ones to read this. However, it's still up for my female readers there if you want to imagine yourself as a guy or for others to take place rather for this to aid your curiosities. Here's my Ko-fi account where you can drop your donations or ask for a commission. You can check it out on my Tumblr profile too!  Buy knightyoomyoui a Coffee. ko-fi.com/knightyoomyoui - Ko-fi ❤️ Where creators get support from fans through donations, memberships, shop sales and more! The original 'Buy Me a Coffee' Page. Enjoy reading and have a happy Christmas season, everyone!

YN was shaken as the barrage of stomps and steps coming from the other passengers effectively woke him up. The bus had stopped moving, and he peeked from the window with squinted eyes. There he saw a very familiar view.

A smile crept up on his face, and he followed through the remaining people exiting the vehicle. Stepping out, he grabbed his bag and luggage before the bus left them there at the stop point.

YN started to walk while wandering his eyes around at the surroundings. It never changed, he thought. This is still one of the places where he could get use some time off away from every troubles he's having from the city.

And that being said, YN came here for one specific purpose. He wanted to stay in his province of Daegu for quite some time to help himself allow to recover from his heartbreak and improve his well-being for the better.

He has been disturbed day and night by what Momo revealed to him since their last talk, which was one month ago. It led him to the point where he needed to be delving deeply into reflection about the painful revelation she had brought to light. The next important person in his life to whom he has been closest, Dahyun, became aware of her cousin YN's odd conduct. She made one quick suggestion that she knew would assist her cousin, who is in a mess, knowing that he had recently ended a difficult and unpleasant relationship with Momo. She is a little upset at what her cousin did to her friend, but she still needs to show compassion and kindness for him because he is a loved one. She had always despised those who were internally disturbed by shattered hearts. She is thus making every effort to support Momo and YN during these challenging times. Aside from the fact that he genuinely misses their province, YN paid attention to what Dahyun advised her to do. He packed his belongings and traveled for hours to go to Daegu. His grandfather and other Dahyun's side relatives welcomed him when he got there. They greeted him with open arms upon his return, which undoubtedly helped YN feel at home. Then, after spending months there, he bought a house for himself, which his family allowed him to live in alone. During the months he had to stay apart from everything, he had the opportunity to experience living alone in the heart of such a vibrant and serene environment. even though at first he found it tough because he knew that being left alone is one of his worst fears.

Even so, he still tried to endure all the pain as he knew that he needed this for the sake of taking a rest for himself after what he'd gone through. There's been a saying that you will never heal from the pain if you never consider to give yourself a break.

Those created the thoughts that were unable for him to dodge all the memories that ties him back to his ex-girlfriend Momo. Because of her, it finally had him to slowly reprocess and understood everything wrong that thay had gone through in their relationship.

He had it discover pieces by pieces and he got some help coming from one of his interactions with some of the locals around his place, as he turned himself to be a volunteer to their town as a way to give himself things to distract him and make his time more valuable and less boring.

He walked back and got one for himself to begin eating with the locals, joining the elders, after serving some food to some of the kids seated at the table.

A notification beeped into his phone, causing it to open. He saw it for a second and turned it off, right before one of the elders asked him something.

"Who is that girl?"

He paused on directing his spoonful of food on his mouth as he heard the elder's question. He looked at him who has this curious look presented on him.

You opened the phone again and showed the rest your wallpaper that got seen, your own picture of Momo on the screen.

"Was that your partner?" His grandpa asked, tempting him to a frown on his lips.

He hesitated to answer for a while as he stared at Momo through the phone. Gulping his throat, he cleared his voice before speaking out his answer.

"She was mine."

All of them became quiet and his grandpa felt the sullen mood of his grandson. "Son, the world hasn't been very kind to both of you, hasn't it?"

He shook his head, denying the assumption. "I'm starting to think that it's not like that. It was only her, and i'm her world who didn't treated her well."

One of ahjumma (female elder) furrowed her eyebrows at his claim. "Did you do something wrong on her?"

"I did, ahjumma." He nodded his head, tightlipped at how guilty he was. "I broke her heart. I didn't mean to but I had to. I haven't got to explain it further."

"Was it that huge of an effect on her?" the first harabeoji (male elder) who asked him about Momo took the turn. He sipped on the soup and kept your head lowered.

"She erased my existence on her life, like she never met me." He smiled bitterly. His heart starts to get heavy, emotions were slowly rising up in his chest. "I guess she brought back the favor because I tried to get rid of her, to push her aside, to make her feel unwanted."

He received a slap on the shoulder by his own grandpa, earning a yelp of pain from him. "And how could you do that?! That's a wonderful girl you just had and you wasted it."

"Believe me, YN you've done a terrible mistake of inflicting heartbreak on that poor woman. Take me and your grandma as example. Even if we had many faults and fights in our relationship until she passed away, I never forgot her and I know so as she wherever she is right now.

And how did we do that? By making up to each other. Acknowledge what wrongful acts you have done. And I'm telling you, son; if you really loved that woman you won't let her be like that to you. Be sorry for everything that you did, understand?"

He nodded at his mixture of scolding and advice. "B-but, I'm afraid I might lure her away."

"She may not forget, but she may forgive you if you convincingly say everything from your heart."

The elders gasped and awwed when they saw a teardrop flowed out from his eye, he was so invested at the rant spoke by his grandpa that he didn't even noticed that his guilt urged his emotions to break loose.

"What's her name, son?"

"Hirai Momo." He noticed the slight amazement in his face. "She's Japanese."

"She's pretty, you got a foreign lover who surely looked up at you all the time not until you showed her the opposite." He expressed his dismay. "But I still feel sorry for you, son. Like what you said earlier, it seems like you got lost on the consequences of the stakes that was put upon you on your relationship with her."

"Do you still love her?"

He kept everything of his grandfather's advice in mind during the days that went by, including the last question that was posed to him and for which he is still unsure of the answer. He decided to give it some time for clarity even if there were some residual sentiments. He asked his cousin Dahyun, who is getting ready for their group schedule, a startling question during one of their video chats, even though Dahyun knew she would have it coming.

"Uhm... Dubu, is she there?"

"Who?"

"Momo."

"Yeah, but she went with Nayeon unnie on the cafeteria, why?"

"H- How is she doing, Dahyun-ah?" He questioned with a sorrowful tone.

Dahyun paused for a moment and just watched her cousin's misery displayed on the screen. She knew that until now he haven't gotten over her, but she didn't expected that he would spoke it out and make it known.

She knew YN to be very secretive of how he actually feels that's why she thought he would just rather do it through action, like what he did to Momo when he was loving her smoothly until the confusions took part.

But Dahyun isn't satisfied yet for that. She know that the two still haven't been getting along fine together and she hoped it'll come someday, and she believes that the only thing needed for that to happen is for her cousin to bravely show up and tell it all by himself to the woman he hurted the most.

"She's doing well, oppa. She's still laughing along with us... well we're trying to make her happy these days."

You nodded, relieved that Momo isn't suffering as much as you do today.

"But I don't know if it just because of us, because uhm... actually oppa- should I say it first to you?"

Dahyun's cautiousness grew an alarming tenseful feeling on him that is making him uncomfortable.

"Go ahead, i'll be fine." He said. Dahyun hoped the same. "Okay. Don't tell me you didn't let me be." Dahyun warned him one more time. "There's a guy who's courting Momo-unnie currently and based from how unnie is receiving his efforts, I think it's winning."

He heard enough and he became silent for a while. He knew it would be painful but he just let it sink in. He's the one who caused all of this to happen. It was all just a pure karma in return for him.

"Is that so?" He reacted bland. "That's great. I-I'm happy for the both of them in case... yeah." He smiled forcefully.

Dahyun clicked her tongue and sighed. "Oppa, you're hurting."

"As I should be."

The next days, his phase was on recollecting their memories together, in which he reminisce whenever he encounters something that Momo used to love before; he used to be in that place to witness it with his very own eyes.

Everywhere he goes, there's always one reason for him to remember her.

The kids he always entertain and taking care of. Momo loved children.

"Someday, if we will be lucky enough to get married. I want us to build a family with two kids! I hope we can have both a son and a daughter..."

The pig feet which was one of their foods for dinner. That is Momo's absolute favorite food she would be willing to die for.

"You should cook more jokbal, YN! This is so delicious!"

Their pictures together on his gallery that is almost full of her beautiful face. He opened one of the videos there which contains one of the clips they recorded during their anniversary.

He smiled as Momo kissed him on the lips and nuzzled her head on her neck. The next thing was soft and low, but her voice was always catchy for him to be able to hear it clearly.

This has to be the most anticipating turned devastating words you will ever remember from what she said.

Not only because this was like an oath for the goal to the next path he wanted to reach with her, but also because this will now end up instead in his  imagination to haunt him with his guilt and definitely hers to occur with her desires.

"To more anniversaries and hopefully, a wedding in the future with you, YN. I love you."

Lastly are the peaches in the farm where he helps some of the farmers there to harvest and the dogs from the neighborhood who randomly visits his house were the ones to sum up everything that ties him back to her.

And in his last days in the Daegu province, he has finally see and understand everything clearly.

Before he rode the bus, he looked back at his grandpa who guided him to the bus stop.

"Remember the question you asked me about, grandpa. If I still do... love her?"

"Have you found the answer?"

"I do." He smiled. "And I promise you that I will try to make her hear my apology to her once I return to Seoul."

"Great for you, then. I wish you good luck, son."

They hugged together before they parted ways, with YN focused on his way back to the destination where his objective lies ahead.

A month after his departure from the province, he is back at Seoul where he is now currently looking for a place to work with these days.

Dahyun notified him one day that they'll be celebrating Jihyo's successful solo debut and she wants to bring him there because the girls misses him.

Hesitant at first that he knew that out of nine of them, Momo is the only one who doesn't want to see her, but he instead accepted for the sake of seeing his friends and to celebrate her special day when Dahyun assured him that Momo isn't like that to him anymore.

YN and Dahyun arrived at the restaurant together. The girls saw them from the table and they all cheered, except for Momo who is sitting there in silent and avoiding his sight. He noticed it and felt a bit unease as he entertains the rest.

And there, the two ex-couple finally saw each other again after quite a long time. Awkward at first, they still managed to greet each other when YN tried to test his courage for his plan tonight. Thankfully, Momo greeted him back shyly.

They ordered, congratulated Jihyo again for her success, talked a lot about how they've been doing, and ate their respective delicious foods to savor the precious time they're having together as a group.

As they went to enjoy the night by doing some videoke and chugging beers, YN noticed that Momo went outside to freshen up.

"Dahyun." He called the woman sitting beside her, munching some pizza. "It's time. I'll be right back." He said as they gazed at Momo's back facing them through her stance at the railings of the balcony.

"Be careful, okay? Make it sentimental and don't force if she can't have it all too well."

"Got it."

Dahyun patted him on the back before he stood up and carefully opened the sliding doors. He silently stepped towards Momo's figure, breathing becoming heavy, heartbeat rising rapidly.

He let out one last sigh before he began to confront the woman he wanted to meet and talk after months of waiting, recovering, and changing.

"Momo?"

She heard that familiar voice, she remembered what she told him almost a year ago, prompting her to try not to slip off on her character.

"Now you're just somebody that I used to know, YN."

Turning her body around, she finally has come to face to face with the man she tries to completely forget in her heart and mind.

"Yes?" She responded. It was cold and plain, and YN understand what he's putting himself into. He just had to let it go and proceed with his main intention for her.

"I know you don't want having me near you, but c-can I please just... please have a short moment with you?" He said. "It won't last long, I promise but if you don't want me... then, it's fine but I really wanted to say something very quick to you."

Momo was startled when YN called for him. From the way he acted, Momo is quite intrigued that this version of YN infront of her is now more cautious, kind and soft to her. This is almost like... a different person from the one he used to know-and endure- before.

Momo would be deceiving herself and she knows how awful it is to feel regretful to herself if she lets that, if she doesn't admit to herself that it actually made her convince and push her wants to atleast see or know something of himself in personal.

"Don't waste any more time. Go on." She granted him his request. Crossing her arms, she leaned on the railings and watched this poor, broken, and lonely man she used to hate seeing being like this.

"T-Thank you." He bowed a little and straightened his posture, breathing deeply before he proceed to let out everything he's been keeping to his chest. "I know I shouldn't be in here because I know you're still mad at me. I almost didn't attend but for the girls-"

"For the record, I'm not mad at you anymore." Momo seriously said. "I set it all aside, because like I said... I don't want nothing to do with you. You're a nobody to me now, but I'm just letting you for once as long as you prove what brought youself here with me and dare to come close with me after how we ended things together."

"I know about that, and that's why I'm just here to say one thing that I've never ever said to you.

I'm sorry."

Momo's eyes shut, biting her lip with her fist clenching after hearing that. "I'm sorry for everything. All I did was very wrong of me and I don't want you to force you to believe me but... I didn't intended to do that on you.

"I did love you from the first time I laid my eyes on you, to the time you gave back the same feelings as mine for you, and the beginning of our relationship together. I know I have been gotten cold to you as time passes but I want to clarify things that... it wasn't your fault at all, Momo. It was me."

Momo glared at him with a teary eyes. She hated it, but she had to recall all of the times she had to wonder every night why does this keep on happening and what did she do wrong that made him treat him with lack of affection. She wanted answers for a long time and gladly, the time has come for her to hear it straight away from the man responsible of putting her like that.

"I always wanted to be like you, on what you're doing for me and it's true. But I always look at myself lowly, thinking if what I'm doing rather wasn't enough for you." His voice began to crack, as his eyes became to get watery also from the immense emotions affecting him. "And instead of improving or sharing my worries to you, I chose rather to set you free from me. I did that, thinking it was for mercy but instead it looked like I wanted you to suffer more and it was so... so wrong for me to do so. I became so lost for that."

"I still love you up to this day, Momo."  With that, both synchronizably cried from that words that they used to say to each other as a vow but now, it turns out to be a forbidden phrase for them to exchange anymore.  "It's not that I didn't trust you it's just that... I was scared."

"My plead for you not to leave was true, I truly can't bear letting you go. But now, I think I believe that probably I deserve to be alone and unworthy of somebody's love to hold onto because what I did, I am willing to sacrifice my feelings for you, Momo."

"It hurts me so bad but I have to let you go now." He escaped a rough exhale before continuing. "I'm not going to plead for you to come back and ruin the happiness your getting with somebody else now. Again, I'm truly sorry again for rushing in our relationship, acting immature on times you needed my comfort and making you bring all the burden you never deserved to have to."

YN began to drop on his knees and positioned himself to kneel in front of Momo who was shocked at his action.

"YN! W-what are you doing, get up from there!" She dashed through him and lifted his body and in YN's disbelief, he made Momo envelope him into a longing and comforting embrace that belongs to one of the lovely things he wasted from an gracious woman like her.

They both sobbed in their own heartache and sympathized with their own struggles.

"I hate you for what you did to me YN but why!" Momo cried out. "Why did you kept it to yourself, huh?! Why did you let yourself struggling on your own?"

"You promised me that you'll try to be honest, but you didn't, and that made me think that being done with your fake love, I rather be going. You could've shared it all to me directly, I'm your girlfriend for god's sake, I could've helped you because I loved you!"

"I'm sorry.. I'm s-so sorry..."

Momo whined and screamed in a mixture of frustration, agony and disappointment for what their relationship had become and the complete clear revelations of how she got ended up suffocating and unpleased in his company.

"Get up." She helped him stand back to his wobbling weak legs again. "Finally you were now able to reflect yourself and tell to me that one words I just wanted to hear from you. I just wanted you to be accountable and say sorry to me.", Momo said, clarifying the last words she told to him back then.

"But now that you did and I've heard and seen enough your sincerity..." She grasped him in the shoulders and stared at him with a broken smile. "I forgive you, YN."

He nodded and cried again, finally getting the remorse and acceptance that he's been yearning and searching for months after realizing what he's done. "Thank you. I'm sorry again, Momo."

"That'll be your last, it's fine now." Momo warned him as he fixed his messy hair and wiped away his tears.

"I just have one more question to ask."

"What is it?"

"Have I... been a nice girlfriend to you?"

He stared at Momo's awaiting, curious and softened face. A teardrop flowed for one final time, to drain out every bit of pain he consumed.

He grabbed the back of her neck and gently pulled her close to land a tender kiss on her forehead. "You did more than enough for me, Momo. You're a great woman that I wasted the unconditional love you've been giving by being ungrateful and selfish, and I will forever bring that regret with me."

Momo timidly smiled for him and stepped away from his contact. Wanting to end this emotional moment between each other to avoid ruining the fun night, she came up something to talk with. "I know you have quite shared this with the girls earlier but I just wanted to know myself, how have you been doing these days?"

"I'm good, I'm still on my road to improve myself. I couldn't stand to let others see and continue to be the same guy that you used to encounter." He finally flashed the first bright smile for Momo away from their problems. Momo was proud and touched for his efforts and dedication that she implemented on him. "And you?"

"I'm happy. Even happier now that we've settled things peacefully."

"I've heard from Dahyun that there's this guy who's been seeing you these days, huh. How is he doing for you?"

Momo was taken back that he had to learn about that and mention it. "H-He's fine, but I want to make it clear to him that I don't want to be in a relationship yet." she shyly said.

"How about you? Will you be okay? Are you... gonna look for somebody to have an interest with?" Momo wondered.

"No, I don't think I will." He stated. "I'm not scared, I just want to be careful. I think it's better for me not to engage in this romance thing anymore, you know? I have learnt from my mistakes now." She understood and didn't spoke any further despite still having this pint of pity for the fallen man.

"And... why should I look for other, when you're still the one I choose?"

Momo stared at him, she blushed  and uncontrollably smiled in an embarassed way after hearing that glimpse of the charming YN that never disappeared from him.

She spreaded her arms wholesomely and looked at her with a smile.

"I know I've said that I wanted to disregard your existence but... I didn't want to be cruel now that I've heard your side and I'm sorry for that because I have to admit...

Although you broke my heart, I still couldn't deny the truth that you're one of the most important person I've met and the first man who helped me explore how love could led us into elsewhere.

You still made me happy, YN. I can't just have it easy to throw you out of my life so... should we be friends again?"

He listened to her patiently and it was overwhelming in the end. "I don't deserve this at all, but I'm highly grateful to take it, Momo. Let's start fresh again." He shook his head and smiled.

You accepted her hug one more time and both took time to indulge how great it must felt've again to their part that they don't have to try pretend, carry a hatred, and keep their unspoken troubles for theirselves.

They are now freed from their own personal chaos and has now created a clean slate of their closeness and connection to each other.

They returned back together where they are approached by the girls who've been watching their melancholic yet heartfelt moment they shared in which they paused their fun to express their happiness for their friends on burying the hatchet between each other.

Both learning that they are currently happy with their own lives and has finally washed away their conflict, they realized that somehow helped each other to realize that maybe having a crazy stupid love with somebody was never really required to be happy and contented in life.

[isa-pain156]

How I thought Viktor’s story was going to go ;-;

This was a I think a month before season 2 came out, and this was me thinking they were going to take certain elements of his league lore and integrate it to arcane. But looking at it I should have known there’s no way they could do a story like this in just one seasons. I don’t like that Riot decided to make arcane the new lore. They could have had it separate, pulled a Scott Cawthon and made both canon. It could of worked since the skins of the champions are alternate realities of their main skin, but I guess fucking not.Anyways, here is my rambling of what I thought could have happened. If you get inspired by this rambling, please tag me I would like to see your work :D

Wether it’s art or a fanfic, I would like to know 🙏

Okay. So I thought they were going to have Viktor fighting for control of his body/mind from the core. Somehow miraculously he was slightly injured by the explosion. Maybe Mel’s gold armor/tattoos did something (this was before we knew about Mel’s story, but it was suspicious how the gold shone those few seconds from the last episode on season 1. So I thought it was a shield armor of some sort). But he would be alive and in secret try to heal himself. Trying to take away the core’s control. Still thinking that they were going the Machine Herald route, he looks at his leg and thinks in order to take back control, he has to take off his leg. Replaces it with a metal leg, cause machine…

However, it doesn’t work. The arcane still has some control. Then makes the association because he is organic matter, like how the plants grew and then died, he is in more danger than he thought. So taking out flesh for inorganic material. Making himself into a cyborg, but it’s too late the core is in his brain. As his last effort, he has to ruin his brain. Literally dissecting (is that the right word?) his brain to stop it. Unfortunately, he fucks up the parts that involve emotions (so at least of half of his brain 🙃) and can’t feel emotions anymore.

It is what the core needs and takes full control of Viktor. No longer feeling emotions, thus no need for empathy to stop him from doing atrocities. The core wants a glorious evolution, and it will turn everyone, whether they want to or not into it. Throughout the season, besides trying to stop the core, Viktor is still helping people. Helping Zaun. This would have led to him making Blitzcrank, the steam golem who cleans up the pollution chemicals of Zaun into a sentient being that is kind and heroic (ignoring this voice lines XD). It would have showed that Viktor was inventing machines to improve lives! Something we don’t see in arcane ;-;

A man who wanted to help humanity, transformed into something corrupted. There could have been so much potential in making Machine Herald. Seeing Viktor and Jayce be close, to then be enemies. The thing I had no idea about was if Jayce would have known that Viktor was being controlled or not. Either way it still would of been painful to see.

[kurios-development-hell]

[[BREATHING IN — BREATHING OUT]]

"When I close my eyes, darkness is all what I see. When I take a breath, you fill up my lungs. If my mind worked backwards just for a minute, I'd hold onto you before the memory is gone. I remember you. You always made me stronger. You always lifted my spirit… I remember how we felt alive together… I remember… remember…" — A broken puppet

I had this image stuck in my head since I returned from the hospital the other day. Just Spam going through his nightmares.

The lotus flower was always considered as "the incorruptible soul" because it could grow on the most mucky of ponds and still stand tall over all the surrounding filth without a single blot marring its beauty. The blue lotus in particular was considered a conduit to communicate with the gods above and beyond, with a brilliant sun-like burst radiating from the centre of the flower.

That's how Spam regards Sears in his mind, his star in the middle of the abyss, a saint that has adopted a largely broken toy loaded with a heavy burden of internal pathos that not even Spam can comprehend himself. Why is he so broken? Why he deserves the pity of others? Why darkness will never leave him in peace? Why he is in love? Why he even exists?

((sharing some prototype script loosely related to the picture, if anybody is interested -- it's long and you don't need to read it to enjoy the picture anyway -- please tell me if you like it or not if you decide to read it; feedback or your impressions are always appreciated))

Sears: You are shaking, Spam. Come here, don’t fret, don’t let the glitching to get worse… *embraces him*

Spam: I-I f-eel so awful-l inside — I-I can’t [brEaThe]- - *glitching and shedding graphical artefacts*

Sears: Hush, focus on my voice. *holds him firmly as if fearing he would disappear like those glitchy images* Now… After me... Breathing in…

Spam: Breathing out… *slowly*

Sears: Cut the strings…

Spam: That hold me down…

Sears: Breathing in...

Spam: Breathing out...

Sears: The walls are falling…

Spam: No more pressure…

Sears: Breathing in…

Spam: Breathing out…

Sears: *releases him softly* Better? *smiles*

Spam: *blinks* Thank you again. The glitching… *soughs* Is gone *relieved smile*

Sears: So we see. *pats him on the shoulder* Next time, when you get another of your crisis, just recite the mantra, all right?

Spam: I always do, but… It’s not the same when you are not here… *looks away*

Sears: I can’t be at home always, Spam. You need to make the effort to calm down the glitching bouts on your own.

Spam: I know… *feeling admonished*

Sears: Hmm… *thinking* Did you try to combine the mantra with your memory of me embracing you?

Spam: *blushes* In reality? No, never.

Sears: Then next time mix that mental feeling with the mantra, and I’m sure it will help you improve your efforts at calming down. *does a thumbs-up towards him*

Spam: … *looking embarrassed*

Sears: I got another idea to reinforce the mantra! *beams and graciously produces a clean blue handkerchief from their suit’s breast-pocket and hands it to him*

Spam: *taking the gift from them* Are you sure, Sears? Isn’t this yours?

Sears: *smiling* This thing is merely a decoration for the uniform, don’t think the others at the office will miss it. You can bet it will help you reinforce your focus on me while you control your anxiety. *holds his hands in a reassuring manner* I don’t want for you to feel so alone when I’m out working. Think of this item as an extension of myself if your glitching gets uncontrollable like recently. *taps friendlily the brow of their partner*

Spam: I’m grateful for this gift, Sears, really am. *gingerly feels the blue soft fabric between his fingers* Please, do not concern yourself too much for me while at work. I don’t wish to be a hindrance against your performance.

Sears: *beams* Not to worry! I know you have everything under control, and thus my mind is at peace while at the office. *arms crossed* By the by, what manner of event triggered this crisis? It’s been a long long while since you had something this bad. Did anything out of the ordinary happen?

Spam: Well… *rubs the back of the neck nervously*

Sears: At ease, Spam. I’m here, you can tell me everything and we’ll solve it together, as we always do. *winks*

Spam: Actually, I don’t think we will be able. *loosens the neck of his sweater with a finger* The chief was apprehended and the business we had together, was dismantled overnight… We lost everything… Nobody is picking up the calls... Everyone is gone and shut all communications… And it's already all over the newspapers... *defeatist expression*

Sears: Is that so? *surprised* That’s so awful… *pats his shoulder reassuringly* Don’t worry, I can provide for both of us even if you are jobless at the moment. *smiles*

Spam: N-no! I-I mean… I don’t want to be a burden to you. I must find a new job as soon as possible! *determined expression*

Sears: Of course, relax. You are free as well to find another one if that pleases you, but don’t you worry about our current budget. My promotion can cover for both of us, and enough to get some extra savings to boot. You really don’t have any need to work any more while under my roof. Take this day to relax, OK? You have been going through too much stress lately, and if it builds up you are going to get glitchy again.

Spam: Aye, I know, but… *frowns* I also want to give you something in exchange. It’s always you giving me stuff, but I can’t give you anything back if—

Sears: *interrupts him with a tender embrace* Your company is enough for me in this exchange, Spam. As long as you are provided, free and happy to do whatever you want, you don’t need to get out of your way to please me back with gifts. Your happiness has more value to me than 100 material gifts. Though, that doesn’t mean I dislike gifts, mind you. *winks and laughs*

Spam: *soughs* You are too kind to me, Sears… Too much… Still… I want to someday gift you something, for rescuing me from the Conglomerate. I owe you that one, to you and Joel and the others who pitched in to get me out of there... *folds the handkerchief carefully and tucks it in a pocket* It feels heavy inside of me to only receive and not be able to give something in return. It goes against my code of delivery... Makes me feel... Selfish…

Sears: At ease. *flicks his pointy white nose softly to snap him from his self-absorption* No more brooding. Let’s focus on the solutions. If finding a new job will allay your anxiety, what you had in mind? Something similar to the last one?

Spam: *phew* No. Don’t think an opportunity like that will ever present itself again. The Suburbs are no place to find something stable that doesn’t incur the wrath of the feds…

Sears: Indeed, their industry is very volatile nowadays, unfortunately. *shrugs* But you could try to find something similar within the boundaries of Cyber City proper. There must be a vacant out there that could take advantage of your "logistics", you know?

Spam: Actually… *ponders* I meant to take on a new trade. *hides face shyly with the postman hat*

Sears: Whatever it is, you know you have my full support and those of the others. If you want to aim for something new, I think Merit or Lafay can help us find you the material you need for your education. *nods encouragingly* What took your fancy?

Spam: *tosses the postman hat onto the sofa, landing it on top of the cat* I want to become a salesman, like you all! *happy grin*

Sears: *speechless*

MIKE: Mau? *waking up with the head covered by the hat*

[lazy-neet]

This is a Viktor x V fanfic I wrote recently!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64364080

Title: Pretty as a picture

After shutting down for the day, he strolls through Misty’s store. She offers him a knowing glance and hopes the date goes well. She is the only person he trusted with his developing feelings for V.

He needed a considerable amount of time to accept everything. She is significantly younger than he is and deserves to meet someone younger, someone who is less damaged.

He felt drawn to her from the moment Jackie first introduced them; eventually, those feelings grew stronger. After Jackie died, V began to spend time much more frequently with him than before.

He considered that perhaps he was merely a stand-in, a person to converse with who could grasp her challenges and suffering. An individual who also missed Jackie and could recount memories together.

After Jackie’s death, she wept frequently during her visits to his shop. He couldn't stand to witness her in that state. He would crumble each time when he witnessed tears streaming down her cheeks.

In the end, she improved, aside from Johnny gradually gaining control over her body. She began to smile once more; the pain wasn't as intense now. They would dine together, share peaceful silence, or even converse for hours.

His emotions intensified, but he couldn't say the same for her. Misty would comfort him, expressing that V held affection for him, assuring him that he wasn't just a replacement. That V truly relished spending time with him. Initially, he found it hard to believe.

His emotions grew increasingly difficult to manage; while patience was usually one of his strengths, it faltered in relation to her. He ultimately found the bravery to invite her out for a date. He recalls the look of joy on her face as she enthusiastically said yes.

Hastily entering his house, he starts to cook a basic meal. She will arrive shortly, and the excitement weaves through his entire body. He's feeling anxious, wondering if this was truly a wise decision considering the situation.

We’re not promised tomorrow, but for her each second is uncertain, but he will always be in his shop, anticipating her return.

Ridding himself of the negative thoughts, he hears a soft tap on the door. When he opens the door, his voice gets stuck in his throat. Captivated by her beauty, he finds it difficult to even say hello to her.

”Hey, Vik. You gonna let me in?” Her voice is playful as she grins softly at him.

He moves aside to allow her in, making an effort to swiftly gather his thoughts and voice.

”Hey, V. You look gorgeous.” Still amazed that she's really standing in front of him.

”Thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself.” She removes her shoes, glancing around his house. She glances back at him. ”I know you said I didn’t have to bring anything, but I picked up some wine just in case.”

He was so captivated he didn't even see the wine bottle initially. He internally chastises himself; she's got him behaving like a teenage boy on his first date.

He grabs the wine bottle from her, expressing gratitude as he returns to the kitchen to serve their meal, asking her to wait for him in the living room.

She insists on helping him as she tags along to the kitchen, a comfortable silence exists between them, with only the clattering of cutlery. It seems as though they have experienced this multiple times already, as if they have been acquainted in the past. Perhaps this was destined to happen.

As they proceed to the living room, they enjoy their meal and sip wine while discussing their day. It feels homely; it's something he never thought he'd have before. Dreams unfolding right in front of him, perhaps this is merely a harsh illusion.

He gazes at her as she smiles, leaning in closer to give him a soft kiss on his cheek, expressing her gratitude for the meal. The heat from her kiss remains.

They exchange yearning glances, aware that they cannot make any promises. Thus, they keep it in their hearts, wishing that one day they can reveal it to each other.

She takes the initiative, extending her hand toward him, directing him to face her completely. She moves in closer, kissing his lips; he allows her to guide, fearing he might spoil this moment. Her hands glide over his chest and arms, leaving soft kisses in their wake.

His patience falters as they exchange a fervent kiss while his tongue invades. Her gasps echo through the space as he draws her on top of him. Her fingers now gliding through his hair. He gazes at her quietly, seeking her approval.

She reacts by removing her shirt and assisting him in taking his off afterward. She tilts back a bit to appreciate him and his tattoos. His hands tightly clutch her hips. His patience gradually fading away.

The chilly air brushes against her pink nipples; he craves a taste. He leans in to engage, alternating as his tongue twirls and softly nibbles each one. Her gentle gasps only encourage him as his arousal intensifies.

He withdraws to gaze at her, giving her a smile as they exchange a fervent kiss again. She stands to remove her pants, leaving herself entirely exposed to him. His piercing stare prompts her to want to hide as her embarrassment increases, but he stops her.

He lifts her up, and she gasps in surprise; taking her to his room, he places her on his bed. He quickly starts to remove his pants, his arousal evident and dripping, his precum faintly shimmering in the dim light.

He observes her biting her lips while she crawls toward him on the bed. He gets closer, his hand glides through her hair, and she gazes up at him while giving his cock a light lick. She moves slowly, running her tongue along his shaft before finally taking him fully inside.

His hand in her hair tightens, gripping firmly while making an effort not to push her head down. He ultimately must pull her head from his cock. Saliva trickles from her mouth, her lips red and puffy, her face rosy. Fuck, he wishes he could express to her how deeply he loves her.

”I'm not as young as I used to be, darling. Can't handle several rounds anymore." His voice falters, eager to place his cock elsewhere.

She reclines on her back, enticing him to her. He kneels on the bed in front of her, longing to feel her embrace, but chooses to reciprocate her kindness. He lightly nibbles her inner thighs, then places a kiss on her wet pussy.

She’s completely soaked, and it’s all for him; he hums contentedly as he savors her entirely. His arms move up, reaching for her breasts until she takes his hands and wraps them in hers. She sprinkles kisses onto his calloused hands while soft whimpers escape her lips.

They exchange a tender gaze before she pleads with him to take her. He distances himself while she parts her lips with one hand, offering him a timid smile. He might have finished right there just from that. She’s a masterpiece, she’s heavenly.

He positions himself at her opening, and as his tip slips inside, his resolve shatters entirely. He pushes fiercely into her, his face pressed against her neck as he fervently kisses one area. Branding her for everyone to see. Her nails gliding across his back as he hisses in blissful agony.

She gazes at him and he perceives only love in her eyes, slightly tinged with sorrow. Words they long to express cannot be spoken, how profoundly it shatters them.

Her walls constrict around him, and he senses his climax approaching. Her screams echo in the room as she sees stars, her nails penetrate his back and he releases within her. He gradually withdraws, ready to rise and grab a towel, but she stops him.

”Lay down with me, I wanna cuddle.” Drowsiness colors her speech; he wouldn’t ever dream to deny her.

He lies down beside her, drawing the blanket to envelop them. She rests her head on his arm and gives him a kiss. He enjoys kissing her, enjoys holding her in his arms. It feels like a sin to love her so. To hold her close knowing she is leaving. He wishes tomorrow would not arrive.

Tonight, they don’t think about Johnny or the impulsive actions she'll need to take. They don’t think about the possibility of her death.

Her eyes finally shut, a slight smile lingering on her lips. He allows tears to fall, as this might be their only night together. He watches her for some time, only her soft breathing audible.

She’s his treasured work of art, and he will always keep her smile locked in a room within his heart.

[skulljackxiii]

GrojBand Comeback Tour - Kin Kujira

Support me over at Patreon: www.patreon.com/skulljackxiii

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Note: When looking back at the show and remembering what Kin was like, he didn't feel that much different than his brother, but I guess that was part of why they got along so well. Anyways I thought that in this version, he plays more in his role as a genius, where he's more dedicated and prideful towards his intellect. Of course I'm still keeping him as a weird and hyper personal so that he easily goes along Corey's and his brother's antics, but he flips a switch when it comes to his projects. Let's say that something goes wrong with one of his inventions or if something offends his knowledge, he would be go on a tirade and start cursing left and right when he's alone, though comedically he would immediately calm down in front of his friends as if nothing happened. He never directly goes off or shown to have any kind of hostility towards anyone, but there is only one exception, Kim. Whenever Kin sees Kim, they both can't help themselves but get hostile and have this kind of pissing contest against one another to see who was more smart. Kin doesn't exactly know why he's so honest when it comes to Kim or how she gets on his nerves so quickly and the same could be said about her as well, the only one that seems to get a clue is Konnie.)

Role: Kin is one of the key members of Grojband, taking the many vital roles as the band's keyboardist, audio technician, and remixer; many of the final music productions is almost entirely relied on him. Along side that, with his knowledge of science and machines, he's also relied as the band's auto-mechanic for the maintenance and repairs for their tour bus.

Bio: Kin lived in Japan most of his life with her brother Kon and the rest of the Kujira Family, along with another named the Kagami Family. Parents of both families were inseparable friends who spent many years together, thus he and his brother grew up knowing the children of the other family, Kim and Konnie. Kin was fond with Konnie and treated her like family, but for he couldn't quite get along with Kim. Whenever he saw her, he would start to flare up and butt heads with her over every little thing, especially when it came to academics. This is because unlike Kim, Kin was not born as a prodigy, in fact he did quite poorly in school to a point where at times even his brother would have better grades than him. It bothers him at times, especially when he compares himself to a natural born genius like Kim, but that didn't discourage him from improving his mind. Kin has always prided himself with learning and especially towards things he didn't know or quite understood.

For years, he constantly studied, analyzed, and improved all his effort in order to surpass Kim and show that his hard work could overtake her natural born talent; though she didn't make it easy and would gloat whenever she came out on top. As this continued, Kin would only grow from all his failures until one day he finally did it and beat Kim in a subject, that being music. His hard work paid off and since then both him and her would go back and forth trying to out due the other in all kinds of fields. Despite whatever awards or recognition either one gained from their rivalry, they didn't pay heed as they solely focused on one thing, each other. 

One day, his parents were informed to be transferred overseas for work, so the Kujira Family, along with the Kagami Family, moved to America. With his weird personality, it didn't take long for Kin to get along with people in his first couple of days. He was quite the busybody as so many people tried to get him into so many after school clubs and communities due to his dedication and intelligence. But the one that finally got him was actually a band from his brother's classmate, Corey Riffin. Kon wanted them to play music together since Kin already accumulated many music awards from being a ceremonial pianist and a composer. He was hesitant at first, but after hearing Kon out some more and finally meeting Corey, he was more than willing to join up.  After meeting Corey in person and hearing his dreams, his words resonated with Kin and made him really want to see what he'll do next.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

TXT Group Dynamics

Time to do this reading on one of my favorites and see how their overall dynamics are as a group at this moment. Let's take a look. Okay, loving these cards for them. Let's dive in.

Overall energy (The Chariot) So, I am getting there are some individual pursuits happening here. They may all be facing their own challenges right now, but there is a collective energy of confronting and fighting against something. There is a confidence and fearlessness they have. A willingness to face any obstacles or challenges that confronts them. It is like they all want to move in a new direction. This could also do with their new comeback as well, ready to start the new chapter.

Yeonjun (9 of Cups) He is the hopeful one of the groups. Looks like what he wants. He seems to get, or there is a sense of satisfaction he has with the group's efforts and what they achieved. It is like what he may want for himself, or the group could come to fruition. He may have strong manifestation abilities, whether he knows it or not. This is like his dream come true to be with this group of people. I say he has achieved a lot within this group. He seems happy and fulfilled.

Soobin (6 of Cups) It seems he likes to look back on the past a lot. He may hold on to strong memories with the group. Maybe he prefers the past when the first started, the freshness of it all. He may seem a bit jaded now. He may talk about the past a lot with the members. There is a youthfulness he enjoyed about it. I get a sense he may feel things are a bit dark now. I guess since the reality has settled in, so he holds to the past. This card is also the sibling card and old friendships from childhood, so he may see the members as siblings and people he has grown with.

Beomgyu (Page of Pentacles) This does not surprise me. He is the studious one of the group. The one focused on the details and the task at hand. The serious one who gets down to business when need be. He seems slow to progress, unlike the others, but does get there. I see him focusing on the details a lot. He is a little bit more cautious about things than the others. He wants to make sure the job is done right. I believe he is the only J type of the group, so makes sense. He might try to keep the others on task and focused when they are practicing. He is a Page, so there is a lot he feels he needs to learn. He may not be satisfied with what he has done thus far. There seems to be always room for improvement with him.

Taehyun (Temperance) He is the moderator, the one that balances the group. That keeps things at equilibrium. He is a stable force in the group, barely causes problems. He is a peaceful member. That brings peace to the others. He may be the one that calms the other members when need be. He seems to be a very stable person, so that bleeds into the other members. I just see him trying to keep the peace within the group. He stabilizes the group in a sense. I say without him, they may be a bit messier, and drama filled. His aura is just so calm, it rubs on the others. I like this energy.

Huening kai (Ace of Wands) He brings the passion to the group, the light, the spark. He ignites the others. He could be the one that starts sh** from time to time though. The ace of wands can be someone who can get heated at any moment, but overall, I feel he inspires the others and lifts them up, pushes them when they need it. Like I can see him saying, fighting! To the members all the time. He gives the members a boost. I say he is very creative; it is like he starts creative projects within the group, not sure what that means, but I get that too. I also see he inspires or pushes them to do creative projects, like if they want to do something he will push them to do so.

Okay, I love their dynamics, like I mentioned their dynamics seems to be one of the best. I just don't see that much drama or craziness within this group. They are a stable group dynamically. It was a smart decision to put these guys together. They blend well together. Loved this reading, felt so peaceful.

[gaurja24510045]

How I wish I was Mike Ross from Suits

Mike Ross from Suits was my ideal, the genius without a legal license who made it to the top most legal firm without ever taking the LSATs (for himself) or being called to the bar. How? He has photographic memory. He could flip through pages and pages of text and perfectly remember and recall the minutest of details, and also understand things at a deep conceptual level automatically. Impressive, right? I wish it could be that easy for me too, but unfortunately, that’s not how memory works for the average person. 

You, and I, and any random person needs to put in way more effort for encoding memories. In fact, there’s three principles that govern memory encoding, and how I learnt them through very real experiences: Principle 1. Mere Repeated Exposure is not enough to guarantee memory.

As soon as I got the results for my 7th grade final examinations confirming I had passed, making it to the first of the big boy grades: 8th grade, my mom told me to get my math book, copy all the algebra formulae (you know, (a + b)² = a² + 2ab + b² and the like) onto a huge chart paper, and paste them on my wall. She believed that looking at them above my desk every day would improve my memory of them. And I did exactly that, looked at them day in day out all through my summer vacation. But as soon as the opportunity arised to actually use them in a class test, my brain was all crickets. That’s when I realised, merely being exposed to the formulae did not mean that I would remember them or be able to apply them.

Principle 2. New Information is Easier to Remember if You Relate it to Things You Already Know.

I used to be horrible with names. I would be meeting a new person, learning where they are from, what they do, even registering everything about how they are dressed. But as soon as they were about to tell me their name, my brain would loudly go LALALALALA, making absolutely sure I forgot it before they were finished with their sentence. In the long run, this could cost important connections. So I decided to adopt a strategy of connecting their names to some piece of information that already existed in my mind. A junior introduced herself to me recently, and her name was the same as my preschool teacher who would always have cotton candy for me when I missed my mom. I just imagined this junior with some cotton candy and now her name has permanently made its space in my mind. Thus, making connections to previously existing info makes it way easier to remember new stuff!

Principle 3. Deeper Processing at the Encoding Stage Improves Recognition Later. 

In 2nd grade, my general knowledge classes had a quiz at the end of them, where the teacher would ask for world capitals, and each correct answer would get you a whole dairy milk! For the child me, that was the most coveted item ever. I put in hours of work, taking a list and trying to memorise the capitals, but to no avail. They were just random words to me with no meanings attached, and I would literally see them float around my brain with no anchor and routinely jumble them up. That’s when my mom intervened. She told me, if I really wanted to memorise the capitals of all the countries, I would have to get to know them. She sat me down on the family computer, taught me how to google country capitals and go to their wikipedia page. She would ask me to look for things like important monuments or attractions in the city, what people ate there, what language they spoke and more such details. She also bought me a huge world map, which allowed me to geographically place the countries. Having actually engaged with the material and processed it deeply, I am proud to say I was the receiver of the most chocolates in class!

[datastate]

@exmartialgod

hello hello! I am curious about your interpretation of Sei…

steeples my hands. oh, i have so much to say... i'm going to try to make this as clear & concise as possible, because there really aren't too many deviations, but if you have any further questions please let me know! i'd be more than happy to clarify :D

that said, let's get into it! i'll be using yakuza hierarchy terms.

sei yoshimoto, as an individual, hasn't changed very much. his background is thus: the sole heir of the yoshimoto family, and of the handful of survivors after they were slaughtered (by gokujo & allied groups) -- after which he was entrusted to the family's captain, rikuto minami.

i will not delve too much into minami's story, especially as he is a key character in deliver us from evil, but his role has essentially been sei's aide; sei was with him at the time of the slaughter, and it is a guilt they share.

to make matters worse: minami doesn't have the right to be the next patriarch, with a blood-heir still alive. but he is nonetheless a 'captain' who is expected to offer forth a sacrifice in the upcoming assassin's trial (meant to be preparation for the death game, as we know it, where the patriarchs will then offer their heirs). but without an heir of his own, nor any known/living relatives, the other patriarchs reason that sei is his only possible candidate.

sei is sent into the fray, and none of the old guard will step in to stop his impeding death.

there are many power plays happening behind the scene, but at this point... none of that really hits sei. he is just burdened with this feeling that he only has himself to rely on, as well as minami's training - because that's all it's become. his captain, his father's friend, has become so much colder now. harsh and insistent. detached and desperate. all at once. it's heartbreaking.

during the young assassins' training under captain minami, kai and sei are two of the agents that show the most potential. they're often pitted against one another and find the other quite frustrating to deal with. in this sense, the way in which they clash is similar to what we see in-game... and they slowly come around to one another once they realize they are simply. two people, two kids, who are fighting to survive for the one person who would stay at their side, no matter what. even once all of their affections faded, the trust is still there. but the two of them are lonely in ways they cannot, and couldn't dare, express. it is then, that they realize they at least have each other... they form a friendlier bond, though they're as competitive as ever. with each other to rely on, they improve quite quickly after this.

however, they are separated just before the assassin's trial begins.

minami has removed himself from being a general trainer for the candidates, and has instead focused in all his efforts on training sei alone. gashu takes the opportunity to have kai improve his weak physical constitution. it is very laborious for both of them, and moments to meet are few and far between, until it finally begins.

and of course... we know how it ends. kin reunited, and ruined.

[caramelarchive2]

congrats on 50!!! 🥳🥳 could i get L for A?

death note reborn

thank you! I'm very excited, when I was on Tumblr last year it took six months to get 20 followers, and when I was first on Tumblr I got about 5 followers after a year and a half xD

so I'm very grateful and I love you all!

All my thoughts on L? I could go on for days man. I'll go with the most thoughty thoughts I have.

L is such an interesting fella. He acknowledges his own flaws but as far as we can see in canon, he makes no effort to improve them. I know he's a terrible person but I also am a— what do they call them — L Lawliet apologist. Except for the Misa thing what the fuck was that, I mean L's the smartest man in the world and he doesn't realise torture is one of the LEAST effective methods of gaining information? it's inhumane and weird and I think it was written as fan service?? anyway I had to, not rewrite.. add writing to it in my au because it's top five things I hate about dn.

ANYWAY the point I was actually going to make was: I think the reason he doesn't work on his flaws is that Watari raised him to ignore his morals in the name of justice. which is. wow imagine if the death note characters had therapy. that's basically Rie's role to help them all get better and happy because I'M A SUCKER FOR A HAPPY ENDING. (if you know what I'm referencing I love you)

Other thoughts about L, mostly, he acts both very mature because that's how he's always been in personality and in training, but also very childish in ways because he never had a proper childhood and thus never got to learn his way out of some childish habits. other childish habits he has are just because he's neurodivergent and I'd like to project onto him thank you very much :>

he probably acts like a 2D guy even when dn canon is rewritten because he's scared to know who he is. he's so high masking even he himself cannot see beyond the mask anymore. he hides his emotions so much he forgot how to feel them.

that made me sad so here's a happier headcanon: he acts like a puppy when he's in love because I do think he can fall in love and form other genuine relationships, he just tried not to. but he has almost no experience (he's probably tried dating for experimental reasons or on a case) so he doesn't know how to act when he feels.. whisper.. emotions. so he stares with his big black eyes. out of the corner how dogs do too ahahahha. he trails around after whomever he likes. honestly he'd probably sit at their feet at some point. holy shit he's such a weirdo I love him.

[its-lukarian]

Ink! Sans

the Guardian of all Alternate Universes.

Ink is a skeleton-looking monster wearing painter's clothes, being a little shorter than its fainted variants and considered the great protector of all AUs.

Ink has black paint/ink on his right cheek. His eyes are usually a blue circle in the right eye socket and a star in the left, However, whenever he blinks, the color and shape of his eye sockets change, He dons a long-sleeved, white undershirt with a small brown jacket over it. His pants are overalls with the tops tucked into his waist. The legs are very wide at the bottom, with creases around the legs. He also has no shoes, instead, he goes barefoot with a pair of leggings.

He has a work belt crossing his chest, with rainbow paint vials (which have heart-shaped tops) on it. When Ink drinks the vials, he gets artificial emotions. On his back, he possesses his most powerful tool, an giant Inkbrush that he named Broomie.

"Let me explain how things work around here!"

He is a Sans variant created by Comyet (aka Mye Bi). He was a conceptional Sans from a conceptual AU that never got off the ground. He’s the first and only character with a true soul; yet despite his best efforts to improve and interact with the inhabitants in the AU, they never responded or showed any kind of reaction to his attempts. In a fit of despair, he destroyed his soul; accidentally causing him to stumble into the blank void. There he became an emotionless being alone in the vast space of emptiness, Becoming like the inhabitants of his old universe, but now alone.

Eventually, an ink brush along with different kinds of paint from an unknown artist fell into the blank canvas, each color imbuing him with feelings different from the last. After some time without color, though, he would revert to his emotionless self. Ink fixed this problem by filling vials with the colors that were splashed on him. It allowed him to pretend to have a soul so that he could feel it. Gradually, Ink used the colors from the creators to create the Doodle-Sphere, where his home would now be.

Eventually, he stumbles upon a portal that leads to the source code where all of the paints and colors go. It doesn't take long for him to discover their true purpose; to imprint the Creators' Emotions in the forms of Undertale Fan work (AUs, Fan arts, etc.). Seeing this he concluded that, for him to remain in this fulfilling emotional state, He have to encourage the creators to keep making and maintaining their creations so that the paint keeps flowing through the doodle-sphere itself. Thus, to keep a steady supply of emotions for him to harness, he dedicates himself to being the Muse of the Undertale Creative Community, while he protects their creations from those who wish to harm them; be it vandals or any other off-scripted out!codes, An example of a threat would be Error! Sans, maybe his greatest enemy.

"I can fight for you too!”

Ink supports all kinds of art, like painting, literature, dance, music, etc. He is very passionate about art and likes to motivate characters and creators, He is friendly and extremely witty and can hardly be put down, His memory is extremely random and he can remember things from millennia of years ago or simply forget some things that were said seconds ago, sometimes stopping mid-sentence to try and remember what he just said a few seconds before. This is why he takes notes on his scarf, in fight, he approaches enemies carefully. He will never try to attack them first, but will mostly focus on trying to discover their motives and talk them through it. Although he does come off as a jerk on first impression, he does know what to analyze to understand the issue so he can brush people the right way and hopefully have them listen. Ink in general acts wittily, optimistic and provocatively.

That is until the ink in his vials runs out..

If he ends up unwilling or wanting to let his bottles empty, he will be left without his emotions and just be someone empty, cold and cruel, without feeling any empathy and only doing what is for his own sake and objectives, And no, he doesn't mind hurting someone for that, fighting much more offensively or defensively, depending on the situation, they think he would even be a psychopath, but what do you expect from a person without emotions and souls?

"After all, there are thousands of alternative versions. Thousands of timelines in their own universes. Why even worry about a small fraction affected..?"

Ink is somewhat athletic and a martial fighter, being fast, agile, strong and skilled, as well as being extremely acrobatic and resistant, using his brush as a bat, using it to attack and thrust with the bottom of his inkbrush, which is made of sturdy wood along with his punches and kicks, His powers consist of all those of Sans but with a higher damage rate, so he can summon bones, blasters, telekinesis, blue and orange magic.. Along with his additional powers!

Ink Mimicry: Ink can manipulate the ink around him as he pleases! If you fight him, be prepared for a lot of ink in the arena!

Ink Hopping: Ink can appear everywhere in any AU of his liking from any kind of liquid. He uses them as Ink portals

Ink Bones & Others: Ink can solidify its ink to create things from it, creating bones or any other thing that, after using them, can reuse the ink from attacks for other attacks!

Ink Blasters: He can create Gaster Blasters that shoot a very hot ink that while burning the enemy, pushing him away, and can solidifies on contact.

Script reading: He can read the scripts of all of the Undertale AUs in existence, and thus knows the fate of all of its inhabitants, Of course, if the universe isn't an Undertale AU, he can't read

Ink can also use the ink on your body to transform his body into a human! He can have different colors and shapes!

And that's it! I hope you'll have fun if you want to interact with this silly boy!

Oh! And please read my RULES!

[decks-writing-blog]

The Borealis: Chapter One: How Do You Know That?

Summary: Gordon and Alyx go to the arctic to find the Borealis.

[A/N] First a disclaimer: I haven't beat Half-Life Alyx yet. I started it the same day I started writing this fic but then I got Covid and injured my side coughing. Thus there was a solid 3 week span in which I couldn't play it because I was too physically unwell to do so, thus I finished this fic without having finished the game. I know how it ends though (I accidentally got spoiled before I even started playing) but because I don't know the context surrounding that, I chose to go about achieving the same thing in a different way. Especially since said different way allows for a good opening to this fic and lets me treat the other 2 Gordon focused HL fics I've written to be canon to this fic (you don't have to read those to understand this one though). So basically, if this fic contradicts something in Alyx, that's why. I'm able to play again though (thankfully, I've been itching to continue because I love the game) so I might be able to catch some of that in editing but we'll see because I play VR games quite slowly.

Second: Half-Life 3 confirmed! Yeah, yeah, old joke, but it's relevant to me now so I'm making it again. Basically I was super frustrated that we're never going to get a canon conclusion to the Half-Life story (the Epistle 3 doesn't count, it directly contradicts what is now canon thanks to Alyx and would've changed drastically during the development of the game, so it doesn't satisfy me at all) so I thought it might be fun try to write a conclusion to the story myself. I didn't write it as a 'video game story' because it's not a video game, thus it's not really me trying to write Half-Life 3. Just me taking where Ep 2 left off and continuing the story, focusing more on the characters and their relationship because character focused writing is my strength and what I enjoy writing the most. That being said, this fic did actually push my writing skills a bit, I feel like I've improved because of it.

Also Content Warning for the fic as a whole but it also opens with Temporary Major Character Death. (Which is why the Keep Reading cut is right under this author's note.) Time resets and Gordon comes back when he dies, he Kills Himself a few times to accomplish this. Also, another far less severe warning but potentially still important: OCs pop up throughout the fic as the plot demands so if you're hard against OCs in fanworks, maybe this fic ain't for you.

~

Alyx sobbed over Eli’s body, pressing on his chest rhythmically… or attempting to be rhythmic, she was too frantic, sobbing too hard. Not that that mattered; the blood pooling on the ground, leaking from the hole in the back of Eli’s head made it clear just how futile that effort at resuscitation was regardless of how good it was. One couldn’t be expected to think rationally after watching a loved one die.

Shaking off the last of the dizziness, Gordon sat up. He fumbled along the ground until he found where his pistol, usually magnetized to the HEV suit’s leg, had fallen to. Lifting it, he pressed it to his forehead. Killing himself was in ways worse than someone or something else killing him but that didn’t make it any less necessary. If he had this power, he was obligated to use it for good.

Closing his eyes, he focused. Right after the rocket launch, before they stepped outside would be a good spot to return to. He pulled the trigger.

As always, he blessedly didn’t hear the gunshot or feel the bullet enter his brain; it was too fast for human senses to register, making it in other ways the best way to reset time. Instead, one second Alyx was sobbing desperately, the next everyone was congratulating themselves and each other on the successful launch of the rocket. Again to Gordon but to them it would be the first time; he was the only one who ever remembered.

Opening his eyes, he stood in front of the rocket’s command console. Through the window the trail of the rocket was still visible, the portal already dissipating. A victory for sure, one he wasn’t going to let be ruined by Eli’s or anyone else’s death.

He knocked on the desk with the metal part of the HEV suit’s glove, getting everyone’s eyes on him. Not something he did often, it was easier to let people talk even if he’d heard it before – it often gave him time to rest, even if it was only for a little while and not a proper sit down or nap – but given where the Advisors had come from it might be possible to get the jump on them instead of the other way around.

“Two Advisors are coming,” he signed. “Or are already here, waiting on the hanger roof.”

The smiles on everyone’s face dimmed. “How would you know that?” Eli, blessedly alive and well again, asked. “Not that I doubt you but… I suppose I perhaps shouldn’t ask.”

Gordon had considered telling them about his dying and resetting thing several times now but… there was no need to burden anyone else with his suffering or the news that he’d watched them die. And so it was indeed best not to ask how he knew because he wasn’t going to answer.

“I don’t see how they could possibly be here and us not know about it,” Mangusson said. “But fine, I’ll send someone to go look.”

“Send Dog.” If he could get the jump on one or both of the Advisors again, their chances were better. “I’ll go too. You,” Gordon indicated Eli, “stay with here with him.” He pointed to Kleiner.

Before Eli could try to protest or agree to the order, Alyx cut in. “You should listen to him, Dad. He knows things sometimes. It saved our lives on the way here more than once.”

“I’m inclined to agree,” Dr. Kleiner said, stepping up next to Eli. “Gordon did just kill a whole armada of striders after all. So if he says there’s danger and you should hang back, it’s probably wise to listen.”

Whether Eli even wanted to try to voice a protest or not, Gordon was already headed through the door. Alyx wasn’t far behind. As she paused to whistle for Dog, Gordon continued forward to the hanger. Upon stepping into it, it looked just as innocuous as it had before. No mental pulse, bringing a headache and distorted vision. Perhaps the Advisors were getting better at reigning that in. Unfortunate in that it meant it wouldn’t be as easy as Gordon had been thinking to know when one was nearby.

Continuing forward, he kept his eyes glued on the window the Advisors had seemingly come through. Not bothering with the elevator, he vaulted over the railing, landing with a clank on the hanger floor. He approached the helicopter.

Nothing… nothing… A loud clatter came from the roof. A moment later one of the windows shattered as Dog, clutching one of the Advisors came spiraling through it. Dog’s spare claw ripped at what looked like its face, pulling bits off, thick oil like blood oozing out.

“Holy shit.” Alyx’s voice came the right, seemingly by the entrance. “Gordon, you were right. Get him Dog! Fuck him up!”

Gordon pulled out and unpacked the rocket launcher. The second one had to be… Ah, there it was, floating through the broken window, perhaps giving chase. He loaded a rocket, aimed, and fired. With how close it was, there was no way it didn’t hit. … Except, moments before contact, the rocket veered, curving off to just barely miss instead. Damn it. Fighting these things wasn’t going to be easy, huh?

The Advisor’s trajectory changed, coming quickly towards him instead. Pain pulsed in his head, his vision blurring. The rocket launcher landed at his feet with a clatter as a now familiar force pushed on his body. It locked his limbs to his sides as it forced him up against the wall once more. Struggling was futile but he did it anyway, thrashing as much as the telekinetic force holding him would let him. Which wasn’t much.

Somewhere Alyx shouted something and a gun went off. The Advisor made a pained sound as just for a moment, the force holding Gordon vanished. It came again before he could even finish falling, pressing into his chest and making it hard to breath.

He slid along the wall, his HEV suit scraping loudly against it as the Advisor moved toward the entrance and thus presumably Alyx. A moment later she was crying out again as she was pushed up next to him. And then they were moving again, the Advisor holding them against the wall as it moved towards where Dog was seemingly finishing off its companion.

Said counterpart Gordon couldn’t see particularly well from this angle but it was on the floor, partially deflated, its blood pooling around it as it twitched and shuddered. Atop it, Dog, seemed to deem he’d done enough before turning and… too late, the second Advisor was in range. Dog’s attempted leap towards it ended abruptly, leaving him hovering in the air, held so tight, he couldn’t move.

His form shuddered and shook for a second before with a ear piercing screech of tearing metal, his body tore apart and crumpled. The light in his eye dimmed and went out before he was dropped to land in a crumpled heap of metal and still sparking wires. No sign of movement.

“Dog!” Alyx screamed, struggling just as uselessly as when she’d tried to save Eli.

With a sigh, Gordon gave up, going limp as the Advisor’s supernatural grip would let him. He’d messed up again. For how much everyone revered him, he did that a lot. If anyone knew even the half of it, they likely wouldn’t look up to him so much. Hopefully his death this time would be fast.

The Advisor turned its attention back onto the two of them. It pulled Gordon towards itself. Good; watching Alyx die was always hard.

“Don’t you dare! Leave him alone!”

If the Advisor was even capable of understanding human speech, it showed no sign of it as its tentacle slipped out of it head towards Gordon. He would’ve told Alyx to look away but well… he couldn’t. Perhaps closing his eyes would be wise but he couldn’t quite bring himself to do that either.

It turned him, eliminating the temptation to look anyway by making it impossible to as it nosed at the back of his neck. Wet and slimy, he shuddered a moment before something sharp and needle like extended out of it, forcing its way through skin and bone. His whole body jerked with it, spasming in the Advisor’s telekinetic grip. Only for a moment as as all sensation vanished, leaving him utterly numb. A pressure built in his head, almost like it was about to…

Blinking open his eyes, he was back in the rocket control room. He flexed his hands, working the shakes out of them as he took deep breaths to steady himself as best he could. Curling up in a ball and crying about it never helped anyone. If anything, with how respected he now was, it’d make it worse. Also, he just plain didn’t have time to freak out about dying for the umpteenth time even if it was a new an awful way to do so. He had to stop thinking about it.

He’d failed again but he had learned something. The Advisors could be defeated and their telekinesis had a range, a seemingly fairly short one. So he just had to get the jump on both of them and stay out of their range otherwise. Easier said than done but it was far from the first time he’d had to do something seemingly impossible. With infinite tries anything was possible. … Hopefully he wouldn’t need infinite though. Dying sucked.

Once he had himself as in control as he could make himself, he knocked the back of the desk again, once more interrupting the chatter around him. “Two Advisors on the hanger roof,” he signed. “I need Dog to help take them out. You and you,” he indicated Eli and Kleiner, “stay here.” He turned and headed for the exit.

“Wait. How do you know that?” It was Magnusson who asked this time.

Gordon didn’t bother to respond.

“We should listen to him,” Alyx said as he paused at the door, holding it for her. “He knows things sometimes. It saved our lives on the way here more than once. So we’ll handle whatever it is, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m inclined to…” Kleiner began, the rest of his sentence being cut off as the door closed behind Alyx.

She whistled for Dog as they came to a stop a short distance away. He came bounding over from wherever he’d been waiting for her. “They’re on the hanger roof, you said?”

“Yes. I want Dog to throw me at one of them while he jumps the other.”

“Uh… that sounds dangerous. Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Dog had proven twice now that the Advisors couldn’t use their telekinesis when too distracted. Gordon just had to do the same thing Dog did and they could kill both… theoretically.

Alyx frowned. “How do you know that? I mean… you were right about other times the Combine jumped us, yeah, but this is awfully specific. Not that I don’t trust you but… you know.”

If Gordon were to ever tell anyone, it’d be her. Her knowing would be helpful in some instances but… as long as she continued to trust him and would do as he asked without an explanation, he wouldn’t burden her. Dying over and over to prevent the true death of others was his trial to endure, not talking about it made it easier to bear. So… “Trust me.”

“Okay.” She sighed and turned to Dog. “Dog, there are two Advisors on the hanger roof. Gordon wants you to throw him at one of them while you jump the other one. Can you do that?”

Dog shuffled as he nodded, seemingly eager for action. Hopefully when all this was done Gordon would get a chance to finally chat with Eli about Dog’s construction and how sentient he was. Such peace seemed impossible to reach but… hopefully one day it wouldn’t.

Reaching back Gordon unhooked the crossbow from his back and unfolded it before handing it to Alyx. “Stay back. Shoot from a distance.” He handed her a bundle of bolts next.

“Got it. Good luck.”

“You too.” He turned and climbed onto Dog’s back. He locked the fingers of one hand in place just in time to not fall off as Dog took bounding off towards the hanger.

~

Another death and then another and another. It was not the most painful of deaths to have his brain sucked out but the violation brought its own horror, making it among the more unpleasant ways to die.

The next attempt ended with both Advisors dead but Dog was busted and broken beyond repair too. A robot, yes but… how sentient was this robot? Enough to be worth saving? Seemingly so. But more importantly, Alyx was fond of him, reason enough to save him but also, said fondness had rubbed of onto Gordon and thus he lifted his pistol and shot himself to try again.

It was three more attempts before finally, finally the Advisors were both dead without bringing anyone else with them. As with many battles, victory had largely come down to luck.

Panting for breath, Gordon shot the deflating body of the Advisor beneath his feet a few more times, emptying the rest of his loaded shotgun shells into it. Its blood was thick and in the context of being in a hanger looked not unlike motor oil if not for its source.

Reloading the shotgun, he strolled over to the other side of the helicopter. Dog was atop the other Advisor’s body. It was pounded flat already, clearly dead, but just because he was mad, Gordon emptied a few shells into what looked like where its face had once been anyway. These things sucked, pun intended.

“Holy shit, Gordon, that was awesome.” Alyx said as she ran up, still holding the crossbow.

Gordon took a hand off the shotgun to give her a quick, “Thanks.” Not for the compliment though, it hadn’t felt awesome in the least, but because this attempt wasn’t a flop solely due to her getting into position just in time to to hit the Advisor and break its telekinesis before Gordon could be forced to drop his gun again. Having a companion was endlessly a thing to be grateful for. He would move the world for her if she wanted him to.

Her having no idea the depths of what she did for him though, he didn’t express that sentiment as he instead started back for the hanger exit. He had to double check and make sure everyone was alive and thus he was free to continue.

~

Cleaning up the Advisors’ bodies took some time as did sending teams to patrol the whole of the White Forest base, making sure no more unwanted surprises had made their way in somehow. But once done with that, there was a rush to start getting the helicopter ready for Gordon and Alyx to leave as soon as possible before something else went wrong that might jeopardize their mission.

No time to waste with proper rest, there never was. It was always one thing after another, endlessly. They had a whole alien army to fight, a world to save. And it had to be Gordon because in everyone else’s eyes he could consistently do and survive the impossible without much issue. But even if everyone knew the truth, he was still the best one for the job based solely off the fact that with infinite retries he could ensure the outcome he wanted even if he had to suffer for it.

But if Eli, Kleiner or anyone else Gordon cared for died while he was away, he couldn’t undo it, not as easily anyway. Something that had always been the case but after watching Eli die, it now seemed more of a prevalent threat than ever before. Making the prospect of leaving difficult. But alas, this power of his gave him the best shot at reaching the Borealis and then hopefully using it to get the Combine off Earth. Or to follow Eli’s warnings and destroy it before someone else, such as the Combine, could use it. He would decide when he got there. Regardless, he had no real choice but to roll with it and let Eli bundle him and Alyx with enough supplies and equipment to hopefully get them to the Borealis.

“No Dog, I’m sorry, you can’t come,” Alyx said as they stood by, waiting for the helicopter to finish being loaded for their journey. “You have to stay here and help Dad and the rest of the resistance, okay? They need your help and uh, you’re too heavy. We gotta travel light as we can to stretch our fuel as far as it’ll go.”

Dog shuffled and did the robot equivalent of a whine, the panels on his head pulling back as if wilting. Alyx patted his head. He leaned into it, indicating once more that he was capable of feeling in some capacity, even if it was perhaps only emotional. … Gordon would’ve loved the chance to have worked on him with Eli.

“I’ll take good care of him,” Eli said. “And I’m sure he’ll take good care of us.”

“And you two take care of each other,” Kleiner added. Having had time to finish monitoring the rocket he’d come out to the hanger to see them off. “We’ll be in radio contact with you as much as we can but it’s a long way so I’m not sure how much that’ll be. So mostly you’ll have to watch out for each other.”

“Well we made it this far together, so I’m sure we’ll be fine.” Her optimism was admirable. Even if from her perspective everything had gone well, there was still so much that could go wrong.

“And remember, once you reach the Borealis don’t jump right into activating it. I still think its our best shot at winning this war but that doesn’t mean don’t be cautious about it. Try to figure out what it does first if you can.”

“And if you can’t figure out what it does, consider not messing with it at all.” Eli gave Kleiner a pointed look. The two of them were going to argue about this more once Gordon and Alyx left, huh? Hopefully it wouldn’t cause too many problems between them.

“We’ll figure it out once we get there. But I guess uh… this is goodbye for now. Gosh, I can’t believe I’m the one being sent on this. Not that I don’t wanna go but…” Alyx threw her arms around Eli. “I’ll miss you guys.”

“I’ll miss you too, sweetie.”

Pulling back, Alyx hugged Kleiner next. “Uh… yes,” he said, adjusting his glasses as he pulled back. “Be sure to come back safe as quick as you can. Bring Gordon back too if at all possible.”

“Of course I’ll bring him back. What do you mean if possible?”

“Well I mean, after the Black Mesa incident, when he killed the Nihilanth…” Kleiner trialed off as he glanced at Gordon. “You know.”

Grimacing, Alyx turned to look back at Gordon too. “Oh yeah, huh? Um… I know you guys said I don’t need to know but I think I’ve earned the right to be told why and how he was frozen in time for twenty years, especially since I’m going with him on this and thus might have to try to stop it from happening again.”

Damn! That was possible, wasn’t it? To hide his flinch, Gordon took a step back. Once done here, the man in the suit might put him back into the void until he was needed for another job. One he couldn’t refuse because the alternative was death which he came back from. The vortiguants had seemed to pull him out of the man’s hold but… how sure was that really?

He had to take a series of deep breaths to stave off the sudden need to reach for something to steady himself; there was nothing around to grab. That was something best not thought about. He could only hope for mercy at the end of this. Surely he’d earned it, right? The suited man might not care though because why would he? Gordon was just a tool to help accomplish whatever his mysterious goals were. If so there was nothing he could about that so he had to stop thinking about it. He had to finish this first, worrying about what would happen after would only make that task harder. No more thinking about that or anything else. Only what was right in front of him mattered.

“A man in a suit, huh?” Alyx was saying as Gordon focused himself back in the present. Damn it, they were still talking about him. “Does he have a… briefcase?”

“You’ve seen him.” Eli grimaced, more angry with this confirmation than shocked as he was when he’d first learned of it.

“Maybe, I don’t know. It feels like I might’ve had a dream about him or something. What does he want?”

“We don’t know,” Kleiner replied. “We have a few theories but we don’t have time to go over them right now. You two have to get going before something else comes up. There’s no time to waste.”

Another round of hugs between them, this time Alyx hugged Dog too. “We’ll talk more about this once this is all over though, got it?” She then turned and started for the helicopter.

Before Gordon could finish turning to follow, Eli stepped towards him. “Take good care of her, please. Keep her safe.”

“I will, I promise.” Gordon wouldn’t dream of doing anything different.

“Thank you.” Eli took another step towards him, opening his arms for a hug.

Gordon couldn’t properly feel it through the HEV suit but… it took all his willpower not to cling to it in desperation. The comforts of physical touch had become foreign to him. And so even as brief as the hug was, it still almost brought tears to his eyes by the time it ended.

“Take care of yourself too.”

Gordon couldn’t promise that, not with how often he had to turn his gun on himself to reset time to save someone. So instead, before he did tear up anyway, he turned away and headed for the helicopter.

From there, it wasn’t long before they were getting ready to take off. Since neither of them knew how to fly a helicopter and thus couldn’t be trusted flying all the way to the arctic, a pilot by the name of Mori joined them. Gordon was offered the passenger seat but declined, choosing the back instead. There was more room to lay down, something he really needed. Surprisingly Alyx joined him, sitting in the row of seats across from. “In case you need to say something to Mori,” she said in way of explanation without even needing to be asked.

“Thanks,” he signed. Her talking for him was probably wise.

“All right,” Mori said from their spot in the cockpit’s driver seat. “Headsets and seat belts on and then we’re off to the arctic fast as we can go.”

Gordon put the headset on – being able to hear them even when the helicopter was running was important after all – but didn’t buckle in. Instead he lay down, using one of their packs of supplies as a pillow. It wasn’t comfortable but that didn’t matter, he hadn’t had more than three or so hours of sleep at a time since the night before the resonance cascade, technically more than twenty years ago. So he was going to sleep as much as he possibly could on this flight.

~

Next Chapter

[vinnylignes]

Learn from the Best: An Exclusive Interview with JustEVN, the Up-and-Coming EDM Artist in New Jersey and New York

INTRO

Some musicians stand out as trailblazers in the dynamic realm of electronic dance music (EDM), influencing the nightlife and thrilling audiences with each beat. One of those artists is JustEVN, a newcomer to the NJ and NY EDM scenes. Originally from my hometown, he has transitioned from DJing frat parties at Rutgers to organizing clubs and events in busy urban settings. I chatted with JustEVN today to learn more about his career, which included making a reputation for himself in the competitive music scene and spinning songs for college pals. This is a narrative that speaks to anybody who wants to make their passion their career, not only aspiring DJs.  Here is our conversation!

Vinny: JustEVN, nice seeing you again! To start, can you tell us a bit about how you first got into DJing?

JustEVN: What's up, Vinny. Music has always appealed to me, especially deep-beat music. I used to mix music on my laptop for fun when I was younger. However, things didn't truly come together until college. To be honest, I initially started DJing at frat parties just for my pals. Seeing how everyone responded to my sets at those gatherings gave me the realization that this was more than just a pastime.

Vinny: Haha I bet those frat parties were a pretty fun time! How did those early gigs shape your style as a DJ?

JustEVN: Undoubtedly crazy! (Giggles) I learned how to read a crowd a lot from playing in that sort of setting. Everyone is there to have fun at a frat party, and if a song doesn't work, they'll let you know. I thus learnt to combine fast and maintain the energy. I first became interested in trap and bass-heavy music—music that just gets people moving—there. Even after I began playing in more "professional" situations, I continued to rely on that foundation.

Vinny: It's amazing how those experiences paved the way for bigger stages. As someone from our hometown, did you feel any particular support or challenges when starting out here?

JustEVN: As someone from a tiny community, I had to work extra hard to make an impression. To be honest, though, there was a lot of local support. Friends would tell others, and I would be hired for home parties, small gatherings, and more. However, landing performances in larger places and escaping that cocoon became a hurdle. It's been a combination of hard work and community support; when people have faith in you, they encourage you to take greater chances.

Vinny: What’s been one of your most memorable gigs so far?

JustEVN: My first New York club show, I'd say. Of course I was anxious. People were anticipating something more sophisticated than a shabby party set because the gathering was larger. However, it felt amazing after I settled into the flow. It seemed as though all of the preparation and effort had paid off that one evening when you saw the crowd move and heard them applaud. I realized then that I wanted to keep improving and developing in this scene.

Vinny: I love hearing how passionate you are about performing! Especially in such varying venues, how do you strike a balance between being true to your original approach and accommodating other audiences?

JustEVN: That’s a good question.  As I perform for new audiences, I strike a balance between remaining loyal to my roots and developing. Although I've learnt to be versatile with genres, my approach is still high-energy and heavily influenced by bass. For instance, I'll move a little while maintaining the same vibe if I'm in an area where people are more interested in houses or garages. No matter the location, I want people to know that it's a "JustEVN set," you know?

Vinny: Absolutely. So, what's next for JustEVN? Any big plans for the future?

JustEVN: I'm in the process of putting out some unique music. I've been concentrating more on live performances up to this point, but I believe it's time to start producing. I want to contribute something fresh to the scene that combines all of the inspirations I've absorbed throughout the years. In the future, I hope to tour—possibly even outside of the United States—and introduce my sound to a worldwide audience.

Conclusion

As our discussion came to an end, I couldn't help but be eager to see what JustEVN will do next. His path from small-town college parties to the stages of big clubs is a testament to the strength of perseverance, dedication, and maintaining one's composure. JustEVN's narrative serves as a reminder to people who are motivated to follow their own aspirations: every great artist begins somewhere, and with commitment and community support, they can make a lasting impression. So, stay tuned—JustEVN is only beginning, and if his story is any indication, the best is still to come.

[imakemywings]

So Maeglin apparently was handsome af, popular, charismatic, and a close confidant of Turgon during his time in Gondolin. In fact, he was a lord and was close to Turgon's ear so he was heard more than Idril. I just wanna know why the fandom loves to portray him as this kid who was hated by everyone (he was not), whom Turgon hated (didn't Turgon love that kid so much?), and whose love for Idril was seen in a good light (when in fact, he was willing to kill earendil just to get Idril). I was honestly shocked when it was such a popular narrative that he was being abused and hated pretty much by everyone in Gondolin and he didn't mean to cause the fall of Gondolin because he was a poor mew mew when the real poor mew mew was Turgon for listening to him in the first place. Lmao I was just genuinely shocked when it was the other way around. I like his character, he's interesting and complex but it kinda takes away the complexity of his character when he is being woobify but that's just me. What do you think?

Anon, idk if you looked at my blog and could tell I would be receptive to these takes, or if you just happen to keep landing on things I agree with XD

But yeah, I have thoughts on Maeglin's reception by the fandom and it's mostly in agreement with what you said.

With Maeglin, he is sympathetic in a lot of ways, which makes you want to root for him. He did have a difficult childhood--Eol was a shithead spouse so it's not hard to imagine he was not a great father either. Maeglin grew up almost totally isolated from anyone but his mom and dad, who did not have a good relationship, thanks to his dad's abuse. When he and Aredhel make a run for it, we want them to succeed! We want good things for them (we've been rooting for Aredhel since the beginning of the chapter)! When Maeglin witnesses his father kill his mother in an effort to kill him, we want him to find peace and security in Gondolin.

The thing is--Maeglin grows well past his difficult childhood. As you noted, Maeglin does very well for himself in Gondolin. At the end of the chapter Of Maeglin, it is described how he "grew great among the Gondolindrim" and there are various indications he was generally trusted and well-liked.

"Thus all seemed well with the fortunes of Maeglin, who had risen to be mighty among the princes of the Noldor..." ("Of Maeglin," The Silmarillion)

At this point, this is we want for him! We like the idea that he's shrugged off his past, that he's doing well, and that he's not like his creepy bride-abducting father.

We don't get much in Silm about what Maeglin's relationship with Turgon is like, but I talked here about why I can't buy that Turgon neglected or abused Maeglin.

"Then the King listened with wonder to all that Aredhel had to tell; and he looked with liking upon Maeglin his sister-son, seeing in him one worthy to be accounted among the princes of the Noldor. 'I rejoice indeed that Ar-Feiniel has returned to Gondolin,' he said, 'and now more fair again shall my city seem than in the days when I deemed her lost. And Maeglin shall have the highest honor in my realm.'" ("Of Maeglin," The Silmarillion)

The only fly in that pudding is that he and Idril get off to a bad start which never improves. He's into her, she's not into him, but he can't let it go. He lets it fester and generate anger, jealousy, and hatred, and in this way, he's like so many creepy guys who can't take rejection.

"But as the years passed, still Maeglin watched Idril, and waited, and his love turned to darkness in his heart. And he sought the more to have his will in other matters, shirking no toil or burden, if he might thereby have power." ("Of Maeglin," The Silmarillion)

But even so, Maeglin is trusted by Turgon! He's popular! He has his own craft and people who admire and follow his ideas! In almost every way, Maeglin should be happy. But he cannot stop obsessing over Idril, and he lets that spoil everything else that he's achieved, to the point where he's wiling to betray the entire city to possess her.

I think there's also a disconnect between those who've read The Fall of Gondolin and those who haven't, because TFOG expands on a lot of things only really hinted at in Silm proper. For instance, the attempted murder of Earendil (who, it should be noted, is seven years old during the sack of Gondolin). In Silm, we get this:

"Tuor sought to rescue Idril from the sack of the city, but Maeglin had laid hands on her, and on Earendil; and Tuor fought with Maeglin on the walls, and cast him far out..." ("Of Tuor and the Fall of Gondolin," The Silmarillion)

In The Fall of Gondolin, we get a much more detailed account:

"Messengers by great stealth he had dispatched to Melko[r] to set a guard about the outer issue of that Way when the assault was made; but he himself thought now to take Earendil and cast him into the fire beneath the walls, and seizing Idril he would constrain her to guide him to the secrets of the passage, that he might win out of this terror of fire and slaughter and drag her withal along with him to the lands of Melko[r]... Now then M[a]eglin had Idril by the hair and sought to drag her to the battlements out of cruelty of heart, that she might see the fall of Earendil to the flames...When M[a]eglin saw [Tuor] he would stab Earendil with a short knife he had...the mail of the small coat turned the blade aside; and thereupon Tuor was upon him and his wrath was terrible to see." ("The Original Tale," The Fall of Gondolin)

In TFOG, Maeglin's malice is even more apparent as we get a blow-by-blow account of his effort to force Idril to watch him kill her child and then drag her to Angband, but even looking exclusively at canon Silm, Maeglin clearly swings into the villain path. I don't like to criticize him too much for caving under Melkor's threats, because being threatened with torture by Melkor would be fucking terrifying and I don't think any of us can say for certain how we would respond in that kind of situation. Tolkien even tells us Maeglin wasn't a coward, but Melkor is Melkor. Not everyone can be Hurin "Noted Badass and Snarkmaster" Thalion. What I am happy to criticize him relentlessly on is that he allows Melkor's plan to move forward.

"But Morgoth sent him [Maeglin] back to Gondolin, lest any should suspect the betrayal, and so that Maeglin should aid the assault from within, when the hour came; and he abode in the halls of the King with smiling face and evil heart..." ("Of Tuor and the Fall of Gondolin," The Silmarillion)

He never warns the Gondolindrim of what's coming, and in fact he encourages Turgon to refuse Ulmo's advice and stay in the city (where Melkor expects them to be). In TFOG, when Melkor does invade, Maeglin and his house fight on Melkor's side.

Maeglin fucked up by selling the city out, no argument. But it's more than that--he could have tried to fix it. But he doesn't. Because? Because he doesn't want his treachery revealed, and because Melkor promised him possession of Idril if he helped.

"Great indeed was the joy of Morgoth, and to Maeglin he promised the lordship of Gondolin as his vassal, and the possession of Idril Celebrindal, when the city should be taken; and indeed desire for Idril and hatred for Tuor led Maeglin the easier to his treachery, most infamous in all the histories of the Elder Days." ( "Of Tuor and the Fall of Gondolin," The Silmarillion)

People resist the narrative of Maeglin the villain I think because they are still in phase 1 where we want good things for Maeglin and for him to overcome his past. And he does...but then he chooses his own shitty path and throws away all the things he gained because he can't be content without everything that he wants, which includes Idril. Making all Maeglin's bad choices someone else's fault--Idril's for rejecting his advances, Aredhel or Eol for parenting him wrong, Turgon for not understanding him, Tuor for who knows--means not having to acknowledge Maeglin chose to become the person who betrayed Gondolin and tried to murder his family.

"Then the heart of Idril was turned towards [Tuor], and his to hear; and Maeglin's secret hatred grew ever greater, for he desired above all things to possess her, the only heir to the King of Gondolin." ("Of Tuor and the Fall of Gondolin," The Silmarillion)

Maeglin's story is a tragedy of someone consumed with their own malcontent, someone who had so much opportunity to be happy but chose to perserverate on the things he couldn't have, who became so obsessed with his own desires that he was willing to hurt everyone around him to get what he wanted. Maeglin's story is of a man who could not handle rejection by a woman he wanted, so he decided to ruin her life and kill her family. Maeglin begins the story as someone we are meant to sympathize with--but he doesn't end it that way.

[logicalbookthief]

Christmas Movies Ranked by How Anti-Capitalist They Are

It’s a Wonderful Life

Movies that make you want to pick a fight with the 1% and also weep with joy. Absolutely a classic and anti-capitalist at its very core. Will convince you we need to start oppressing landlords again.

“Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you're talking about... they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath? Anyway, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him. But to you, a warped, frustrated old man, they're cattle.”

SAY THAT!!! George Bailey said fuck landlords, all my homies hate landlords, they have NO rights. Local man believes poor people are human, dedicates his life to helping them, and in his time of the need literally the whole town comes together to support him and his family. Class solidarity ftw!

“Remember no man is a failure who has friends.” Bitch I CRY EVERY GODDAMN TIME. 

10/10

Home Alone

Soundtrack goes hard, the wacky hijinks even harder. 

Loses points because the bandits had a prime opportunity to seize and redistribute some of the wealth from this ritzy Chicago neighborhood and instead they focus their energy on trying to kill an 8-year-old who outsmarts them at every turn.

2/10

Elf

A family favorite in our house. Touches on the overworking and mistreatment of employees through Greenway Press – Walter forced to choose between being with his family on Christmas Eve or losing his job, it’s implied Deb has a pet grooming business on the side to makes ends meet despite being a receptionist at a NY publishing company, etc.

Honestly most of the points come from Jonie’s underrated yet highly relatable storyline. She works in retail, exhausted and cynical towards the high-paced Christmas season which gives her little to no relief or reward, since she’s surviving on ramen noodles and using the employee showers because her water was cut off. Not expanded on enough to be considered a true Marxist piece but the effort is appreciated.

5/10

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Although the meme is correct in that Rudolph’s red nose becomes desirable only once it proves to be useful, it does get points for exposing the harmful nature of forced conformity and those alienated by these capitalist ideals -- Rudolph, Hermie, the island of misfit toys -- are given a place to belong despite the perceived “flaws” that before made them undesirable.

Also the elves definitely have a free dental-plan now thanks to Hermie and are hopefully on their way to unionizing. Fucking superb you funky little misfit.

6/10

Klaus (2019)

Turns a member of the bourgeoisie into a man I’d trust to carry my mail. Respect for postal workers this movie contains was ahead of its time.

 No direct takedown of the establishment but a heartwarming message -- “A true selfless act always sparks another” bITCH I may be crying -- that emphasizes the importance of giving to others even when there is no selfish motivation to do so, which is inherently anti-capitalist.  

8/10

The Santa Clause

Scott Calvin starts as a toy executive who takes part in the commercialization of Christmas. He was probably a business major so automatically loses points.

The Santa dynasty itself seems to operate under the cutthroat rules of the business world where you must overthrow (or in this case, throw him off the roof) the former CEO in order to seize power. 

Elves have not unionized or seized the means of production by the end.

0/10

A Christmas Carol 

THE ORIGINAL. Charles Dickens was not even in the neighborhood of fucking around with this one. CREATED the anti-capitalist Christmas genre!!

Rich man treats his employees like shit and gets terrorized by three ghosts on Christmas Eve. Force him to redistribute his wealth by dragging him through a montage of his most epic fails -- oh, hey, remember when your fiancé left you? -- and make him listen as all his employees and relatives complain about his stingy ass. 

They end this slideshow by throwing this dude into his own grave. DIRECT ACTION. 

Like damn, the ghosts really said, “If you hoard your resources and ignore those in need when you could directly improve/save lives with no cost to yourself, you will die ALONE and you WILL pay for your crimes in hell.” Literally watching this movie is a catharsis for anyone who is or has been poor and working class. 

I’m including all versions of this movie but a special shout out to the Muppet version because it fucks the hardest. 

100/10

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

Listen I’m not even in realms of joking with this one. This movie is THE anti-capitalist film of the holiday season. 

WhoVille commercializing Christmas and a fixation on consumer culture to the point where anything and anyONE who cannot be commodified -- aka the GRINCH -- is alienated? The Whos rediscovering that people should be cherished over material items once it all is stolen and they must confront how empty the holiday has become??

Cindy Lou becoming disillusioned in Christmas -- at an age that coincides when many children (those who celebrate Christmas at least) lost belief in Santa and had to wrestle with what the holiday means with the magic gone and they’re more aware of the rampant consumerism that taints the season?? Her resolve to find a meaning that goes beyond material consumption because if a holiday founded on goodwill doesn’t extend that goodwill to everyone, even those society deems undesirable, then what’s the point???

The Grinch despising Christmas because he is unable to participate and isolated from the Whos and also the better qualities within himself? His alienation serving to demonize him further as it allows the public to narrow his valid criticisms of the holiday down to him being different and thus inherently predisposed to evil?? And hmm isn’t it interesting that a LOT of this demonization comes via Mayor Augustus “generously paid for by the tax-payers of Whoville” Maywho, Mr. 1% himself.

The upper vs working class divide evident in the light show competition between Martha May and Betty Lou Who?? The opening scene of the shopping frenzy that mirrors our own consumerist culture and overworking of retail/poster workers??? This entire monologue:

“That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been about. Gifts, gifts... gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! You wanna know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage. You see what I'm saying? In your garbage. I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump. And the avarice... the avarice never ends! ‘I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue.’" 

MARXIST KING. MENTION IT ALL.

1000/10