#I know how scary it is to message ppl so I really do appreciate you and this honey!!

[kedsandtubesocks]

<clears throat> hi, I’m jo, super shy and in these parts I’m sometimes a menace in inboxes. a secret bird @julesonrecord told me you were so lovely (and you really seem it too btw) and said you’d like a bit of menace in your inbox.

so, I’ve just enjoyed book!joel 🥹 but I also see you also like cowboys ;) so, would you rather (with the cowboy of your choice: but please tell me) like to enjoy a night in a tent in the middle of nowhere, horses outside that you can ride to a river the next morning OR a ranch cabin that you two can explore, ride horses and have your wicked way with one another in many places 🌶️

HI HOWDY JO 🥹💕 oh wow it’s so wonderful to meet you!! I read your Javi P Coming Home Fic and absolutely ADORED it (literally probably embarrassed myself with how badly I rambled about it omg pls forgive me) so I’m extra giddy and excited and honored that you enjoyed writer!Joel and wanted to come chat with me 🥺

And omg Jules is the real lovely one here, I’m a simple gremlin so I’m honored she said that about little ol me wow 😭 Really grateful she guided our directions to each other!! (ily @julesonrecord) I LOVE little having a little sweet menace in my inbox and plus from a lovely new friend like you I’m welcoming it with open arms!!! 🥹🌹✨

But also -

JO WHY!!! My poor little heart heart maybe can’t handle all the MENACE LOL

But ugh what utterly beautiful choices to pick from and I’m crying (in both tears of joy & pain LMAO)

So I’ve been missing our dear Din and especially because cowboy Din just hits differently, and even though my Texan Joel Miller heart is screaming at me to pick the cabin - I’m gonna go for that first option because can you imagine it?!

The tent that he set up for you? The absolute tender way Din is always making sure you’re protected and given shelter even within the watch of the wilderness?? Plus I’m also blaming the eclipse making me feel so in awe of the cosmos but getting to enjoy the stars with and feel so small yet so grand with a sweet gruff cowboy like Din?

Also let’s not forget how tender he would unravel and cherish you within the safety of his watch and under the protection of the vast desert sprawling all around you with its magnificent wildness? You and him simply melt into that and become one with the wilderness and its just so Din and so pure cowboy 😭

Plus I’m such a sucker cliche water sign wanting to always be near water so that plus the steamy adventures that can happen in the river is just so 👀

Wow why did I ramble so much about this pls ignore me svgsgsvsusisjwdgyd

But JO! AHHHH!! Now I need you to tell me which one would you pick so we can suffer together thinking about cowboys lol 😤

Thank you so much beautiful for taking the time to drop by and have such an adorable chat! You’re so lovely and brighten my day with your presence! Here’s to more giggles and chaos about the Pedro boys lol

I’m wishing you the most sweet and kind rest of your day take care!! 🌙🌹✨

[mochiwrites]

mochi i always appreciate how friendly u are, u answer so many different asks, even if u don’t agree with the content ur very understanding and are empathic towards the other person, which is a very earnest and kind thing to do. ur able to match the vibes of asks as well, making sure ppl feel hyped up, which makes them feel more confident in themselves, especially because it can be a bit of a vulnerable thing to put ur self out there. u either have an understanding of this, or are naturally inclined to support the other person, both of which reflect really well on you

ur also incredibly talented, creative, and smart. you have multiple sometimes long running aus and ideas that you’ve slowly chipped away at, it’s incredibly admirable, especially considering you are a student. ur frequent updates just show how strong of a writer u are, and i’m sure whatever u do with ur degree ur gonna do amazing things. your also super emotionally in touch with yourself-likely one of the reasons why u perused psych- and are able to communicate ur feelings well, in a very graceful way, it’s a very strong thing to set boundaries with an audience, cause in some way admitting something isn’t working is kind of scary (at least to some) so i’m really proud of u for it. (and a side note- anyone who doesn’t respect or tries to overdramatize u protecting yourself when ur obviously having some personal conflicts needs to take a deep breath, u give them a lot more understanding and gentleness, and it shows well on ur part)

all that being said as well it is up to u what u respond to and engage with, and i truly hope you don’t ever push yourself uncomfortably for any reason out of obligation. i hope that u support ur self first. it’s not a crime to prioritize yourself, i promise. (i don’t know u personally, so i would have no way of knowing if this is something you would struggle with, but just in case wanted to include it lol)

yea! ur great mochi keep being amazing pspsps have some cat treats

taking the cat treats ty ty

but also ;w; thank you <333 this is really sweet and I genuinely teared up reading it dvdbfbfgtb wahhhhh

I think being kind and empathetic is just… really important y’know? and I try to be as friendly and open as I can with people because I know that it can be scary sometimes when you throw out an idea or even send a message to someone you’re not familiar with or know on a personal level. it’s that general idea of treat people how you want to be treated. with any luck, the kindness I extend to others will eventually come back around to me. I like supporting people and encouraging them <33 I guess I just try to be the person I wish I had while growing up

I wasn’t a very confident kid, didn’t have a lot of friends, and was terrified of the people around me. so I really do get and understand the vulnerability that comes with putting yourself out there. and !!! even if I don’t agree with something suggested, I try to be gentle in my approach to it. I just like being kind to people dbfbfbfhtg

and wahhhhh thank you ;w; writing is just something that I’ve always done alongside school so it feels super natural to do the two at once :D I’ve always been like ??? weirdly in tune with my emotions and how I’m feeling (I feel REALLY strongly, it’s insane how emotional of a person I am), and yeah!!! it was partly why I pursued psych as a major. but setting boundaries was definitely not a thing I was good at while growing up ^^; I think I only started to get good at it within the last few years honestly. but I’m definitely not afraid to sit down and say that something isn’t working. I try to look at from two views: it’s not fun for me if I’m working on something I’m unhappy with, which means it’s not fun for others as well. and I only want to write things that I’m proud of and passionate about, meaning I’m motivated :D

and it helps knowing that if I restart, I can make something a lot better <3 trial and error is an important part of learning !!!

but ueueue I never feel an obligation to interact with something that makes me uncomfortable or anything like that !!! I love the interactions I get, and feel really lucky that I’m able to share my stuff with so many people and have the same love for my work echoed back at me 🥹💕💕

[cosmicjoke]

hi

sorry for all the rude asks you got some ppl just need to touch grass! i really wish they would just leave you alone 😕 you are great dont listen to those losers ❤️‍🔥

in fanfics i often see people portraying levi as being kinda rough and mean in his speech and while that is true he is also capable of being softer and he really understanding and often thanks people and shows them that he appreciate them (which you pointed out actually)

he is also often teasingly mean

how do you think those trait balance out in levis manner of speaking?

Hi again, and thank you as always for your kind words. I haven't gotten a single hate message since I turned anon off, so that pretty much tells the tale. They're just cowards and losers, honestly, and everyone knows it.

Anyway, to answer your question, I've said before, but I think Levi's "rudeness" is really more a product of him just simply lacking social skill, rather than him being intentionally mean. Of course there's exceptions, mostly with Erwin, where he genuinely is trying to insult him, lol. And of course, with Zeke and a few others. But I think Levi's bluntness and honesty is a large part of why he comes across as "mean" or "rude". He isn't trying to be, most of the time, he just isn't well versed in how to couch his thoughts in more palatable terms. Levi was raised, very literally, to approach people directly. Kenny's idea of how to say hello was to kill them, or physically assault them in some way, and that's the kind of example Levi grew up with. By some miracle, he didn't turn out to be a sociopath like his uncle, but I think that kind of direct confrontation is something Levi was raised in. Just getting in people's faces and telling them what he thinks and feels. He was never shown a more refined or delicate way of expressing himself. We see that in Levi's own bursts of violence too. He was taught that if you want to get a point across, sometimes physical violence is the best means of doing so. And it isn't a reflection on Levi as a person, really. It doesn't expose some psychopathic tendency on his part. It's just simply what he was taught, that if you want someone to listen who otherwise isn't, hitting them will get their attention.

There's really no finesse or deceptiveness to the way Levi operates. And while, yeah, sometimes that can make him scary, if you ask me, it makes him a hell whole of a lot less scary, and dangerous, than a guy like Zeke, for example, who you never know when he's lying to you, or using you. Zeke's the kind of guy that will smile to your face and then stab you in the back. Levi's the kind of guy who will just stab you, and make sure you know it's him, lol. At least with Levi, you always know you're getting the truth.

And I think that honesty is also in part linked to his compassion. He has no interest in lying. He has no interest in manipulation or control of others. With Levi, you get what you see, and it's because he has too much respect for other people and their perspective to ever lie to them, or use them, or try to manipulate them. If he wants your help, he'll just tell you directly. His interactions with Dimo Reeves is a good example. He just told him straight up, the SC would help him and the town of Trost, and in exchange, they would expect his cooperation in return. He didn't try to bullshit Reeves, and Reeves appreciated that.

[bokettochild]

Since you seem to be the LU mom, if it's okay I wanted to ask.

I've never done actual fandom interaction before and don't know how Tumblr works beyond this . . . So how should I go about posting my little doodles and interacting with the people i've been seeing bring such joy to my life w/o being weird? I have never actually done internet stuff really so any advice would b very appreciated.

(I also just want to let you know that you make me smile when I check Tumblr and see you ^v^)

First of all, thank you so much, that's very touching and sweet!

Secondly, use the tags. i would suggest that if you post art that you would use popular tags used in the fandom in order to make sure people who follow those tags are most likely to see it! It can be hard posting something you worked hard on and never getting any recognition for it because no one can find it, so find what tags are applicable and use them. Typing #lu (one of the boys' names) usually works pretty well, but be sure to use the main fandom tags as well!

As for interacting with people, reach out. When I first started, I was in awe of everyone and hesitant to tag, comment on, or even reblog their things because I didn't want to upset them or seem weird (most ppl irl find me offputting or odd). Some creators are too scary to interact with at first because they're big or impressive, but that's okay. Interact with fellow artists or blogs that share your interests! If you have a favorite of the LU boys, look in the tags to find which blogs post about them most and then try messaging them to talk about your shared interests. I can guarantee that we love to talk with anons/followers/mutuals about shared loves :)

Please be respectful and understand that there will be some times when disagreements happen. People don't hate you for having other opinions, as long as you're respectful (most of the time, sometimes they do, but those are the ones to avoid anyway). Just make sure to be polite and not bash otehrs and you should be all good!

(Bashing others playfully is okay, but I'd wait to do it until they know you so that they can tell you're messing around, otherwise they might feel genuinely hurt)

Lastly, have fun! Don't stress a lot, and if you're feeling stressed, maybe sit back and do something else for a bit. Also, none of us are crazy cool (some are cool, but they're also totes chill) so don't worry too much over stuff!

Hope this helps! And welcome to the fandom!

[petrichoraline]

🦊 because you're witty and brutally honest and i'm intimidated by witty and sincere people

I GOT A FOX! I got a foxxx 😭💞

putting this here in case someone else wants to surprise me

listen, this message took me on a bit of a ride cause I was excited to see my theory proven right (that some of the asks I receive on anon are by people who find me intimidating) so thank you for the confirmation!

but now: "witty and brutally honest"

is that about me?? I'm flattered and perplexed at the same time hahah because "witty" is one of my favourite qualities a person could have.. i won't deny i could be perceived as such, I trust you, it is really nice and surprising to see it directed at me like this, thank you 💓

as for "brutally honest".. one thing that i decided on when i started communicating with people on here more was that i would try to be as nice and sincere as possible. some of the people I like chatting with and i see as intimidating have a relatively blunt way of speaking. i find them very cool because they seem like the type to not care much about how they're perceived whereas i come off as a bit of a try hard. some people have a naturally warm way of expressing themselves, i work on it - I think which emojis would be suitable, stop using caps if it starts feeling like the text is becoming too invasive (???), overall i pay attention to how my words come across and i sometimes worry i come off as insincere because of it. so it really is a surprise being perceived like this :) is it in relation to the way I talk about media? i do yap a lot and i get quite direct in tags 😂 so maybe. or maybe how I answer more personal asks? in those cases i put effort into getting my points across without sounding harsh. all that's besides the point I want to make which is

please feel more comfortable with me pleaseeee

i like being seen as intimidating maybe because the people i admire are intimidating. but that is in direct juxtaposition with my goal and the efforts i've been putting towards it - i want to be approachable, for people to feel at ease talking to me and asking me questions and for us to discuss things openly because THEMES! TROPES! BAD WARDROBE DECISIONS!!!

shows are so exciting to talk about, i learn so much from these conversations and sometimes theyre just plain silly fun! and even aside from fandom stuff, i'd like to be someone people find comforting. which is why it's important i also remain sincere - someone who only ever says what the other wants to hear will soon lose all credibility, why ask someone their opinion if you know they're just gonna repeat your own back at you regardless? and also it's my blog. so. i deserve to be a bit of a bitch from time to time😄

i understand where you're coming from, I feel this way about a lot of bloggers on here and i am sure they are a lot less scary than i perceive them as haha so I can't make you suddenly find me not intimidating but i do hope you know that logically speaking (because i am being a tad bit hypocritical, my nervous overthinking self knows things and then feels feelings despite that) there's nothing to be intimidated by - this whole thing is all about having fun and learning alongside other people. whether you perceive them as smarter, more insightful or competent in their field of interest, they are all here for the same thing! and would love sharing their interest and passion with you. yes, some ppl are less sociable than others but usually you could tell if that's the case. as for me, i am directly telling you i am already going "awww" at you and your message. it takes some courage to admit that and if you're like me, you were nervous sending it but i appreciate that you did very much <3 and i can only hope you come to see me as someone warmer and easier to talk to in the future 💕💗💓💞💝

[mugenloopdalove]

i want to preface this by saying i have good intentions AND i am not the best with wording things or getting the point across. take this message if it helps, delete it if it doesn’t! you are not obligated to reply to this either, and i also understand my mindset isn’t going to work for everyone. you can’t reply to anon asks privately, but you don’t have to post this if you don’t want to, either :)

i just want to say that the amount of engagement you get doesn’t matter. i want to see your stuff! i want to see you post about your self ships and your faves and all the things you like — but i also want to remind you that getting a bunch of asks doesn’t make you any less or more valid, okay?

i admit that i get not feeling wanted or accepted by the community (there are a SURPRISING number of people who feel this way, too) so i’m not trying to be like “grrr you’re being so negative! who cares?!?! just cheer up and be magically happy :)” bc it doesn’t work like that, unfortunately 😅 but i want to remind you that you also deserve your space in the community, so please don’t delete your blog over a lack of interactions.

whether you get one letter or many, you are just as equally loved and appreciated AND worthy of having a space online. there are definitely more popular blogs out there with many many interactions (i find myself envying them, too) but that does not make them better than you. besides, i find that the people who often send them asks are like, their friends anyways. (but i lack any in the comm, so.. 💀)

me personally, i often hold back from sending letters because i don’t know many of the popular sources and am afraid of making it ooc 💔 they have anons off and i don’t want them to be weirded out or reveal my blog, etc. but never ever have i not done it because i disliked the blog personally or anything. it does not mean anyone dislikes you or doesn’t care about your ships (honestly: even if nobody cared, you should still post about the things you like) but i will admit that it does feel nice to know some stranger put the effort into writing for you, that people like hearing your stuff, so i’m also sort of conflicted...

i don’t even know where i’m going with this 😅 but i just wanted to say, from one stranger to another, you are very much loved and appreciated. i understand it can be lonely and i am not trying to give you advice or be all like “you’re too sensitive” or nothing! i am just trying to say that i hear you and i hope you either get the interaction you want or learn to be okay with the lack of it. take care and please be more kind to yourself, i hope you do not spiral into negativity and self hatred. we are only here for so long, please be more kind to yourself if you can help it.

sending all my love (and a cold pillow) 💗

Thank you... Ive just really wanted engagement lately bc I've felt pretty dam lonely and having trouble coming up with new situations. My brains been kind of repeating the same stuff on loop and unless I luck out and get an f/o dream it's just the same stuff I've seen a million times before and I'm not sure how to get new thoughts.

I also... Frequently join communities and see everyone get way more love than me and it reminds me of growing up alone a lot. Jebeheb

I'm trying to make friends in to community rlly rlly hard I'm just. Shy and awkward hdhdhfhft. I want to talk to so many ppl but outside of like memes I'm scared to. Even letters I'm scared to bc I have like... No confidence in my writing jsjsjer it's one thing if I'm writing for myself but writing for someone else is scary.

Thank you though...maybe I just need to take a breath and a step back and maybe a break. I just don't know what to do for an escape other than self ship fhfudir I never formed a lot of coping mechanisms just fiction and lately it's been harder and harder for me to get that on my own and I want help from others

I know I shouldn't rely on engagement your right Abt that. I'm trying not to and this did help me feel better. I just wish I could get some help w getting new things in my brain I guess

[kettu-saukko]

idk what lead me to read old messages and my inbox but WOWWWW i was really going through it and trauma dumping all over the place on here

i feel like i need to give everyone a giant thank you and an even bigger apology. Even though tumblr has always been seen as the “depression” site, i don’t think it’s fair that ppl were ambushed by my very triggering and concerning post, regardless of tws or tags and though most of the time i forgot i still had active followers lol and mutuals who genuinely cared for me. So… thanks to every and anyone who has ever reached out to me when i was really beating myself up. 2018/2019 were dark years for me and at the time i didn’t realize how much those messages and well wishes kept me from doing drastic things as well as just made me feel less alone. Now its 5 years later and i’m in a much better mental state, idk how many ppl will actually see this but thank you for everything. I didn’t understand or really appreciate all the kind words ppl were sending since it wasn’t from the ppl who i wanted to hear it from but now I’m feeling all those thoughts/prayers at 3am on a random thursday and i took it all for granted back then. Thank you thank you thank you and i’m so sorry. Sorry if anything i wrote triggered you or made you feel uncomfortable or even made you (rightfully) block me. I’m 23 now and although i still struggle here and there, that frontal lobe is definitely developing and the world feels less scary and a lot more fun. Ive developed better coping mechanisms, put less pressure on friends, got a lot better at understanding my feelings and became my own person. Thanks for being my friends when i felt like i had no one, thank you for being the voices of reason, thank you for providing me a safe place to release and now reflect. Thank you :)

I also noticed how long i’ve been mutuals with some of you!!! Some of you it’s been like 8+ years which is INSANE (also makes me realize how long ago Legend of Korra came out) and our ages went from 14/17 to 23/26 and some of you are even married and have families??? Hope y’all are all doing well and look fondly on the Supernatural or Atla/lok or SU or Miraculous ladybug or Voltron days, I know i do <3

[wakasa-wifey]

Okay so umm it's 14th Feb here so it's already Valentine's Day!! It's nothing much but I just wanna show some appreciation to several mutuals that I've been talking to!! I don't tag all my moots I'm sorry T-T but these ppl are the ones that I interact with the most. Heads up its gonna be so fcking long.

Here's a love letter for you guys <33

@iz-ana - Sarabi my twin flame <33 bb i remembered me asking u why u followed me gszgxyx and u said its bcs of my vibes. just for u to know, i appreciate ur existence in my life like fr. u also the kind of person that comes to check up on ur moots if u don't see their posts AND PLS I WILL CRY bcs i just felt cared for T-T. I love our conversations bout TR theories, drabbles and thoughts about them (PLS I LOVE YESTERDAY'S BRAINSTORM THE MOST) AND THE WAY WE'RE PROTECTING IZANA . i sucks at writing love letter here shush but do know i appreciate you popping in my notifs and ur dms always gave me lots of serotonin. and hajsheyd just adding here i love how u are like "encouraging" me more to be a bitch to those who messed with my irl friends. what did u call me again- AH "scary dog privilege" bye hskxhxnx i love chatting with u bcs our convo can starts with a matured aura but then randomly we go into crack mode lmaoooo then kaboom espresso depresso bcs we missed izana :( ily okie don't stop shining!!!

@sanzu-sanzu-sanzu - ANRI, MY FELLOW HORROR MOVIES/STORIES ETHUSIAST! okay so we don't really interact much these days bcs we're both busy with outside life yes yes BUT I AM REALLY REALLLLLYYY HAPPY that we got to bond over our love on horror stuffs. and i'm really happy that you take my Thai horror movie suggestions for your to add into you to watch list. i followed u back then bcs of the Songs for the Toxic People fics and i don't remember when u followed me back lmaooo but u were the 3rd followers of mine AND i remembered our first interaction was me asking how u incorporated arts into ur story. always happy that u appreciate my barking in the reblogs lmaooo. just remember that u are talented okay? anri, u are one of the softest, gentle person i ever known and even if u are older than me istg i will squish u if we ever meet. and i'm gonna be part of ur protection squad <33 yhanks for existing in my life

@roczdust - DEI MY CRACK PARTNER!! my dude pls step on me u are literally stunning😭💕 and anddddd let me tell u, ur writings??? IMMACULATE. i first followed u due to that vulnerable drug addict Sanzu i remembered that but my first read was the Kaku's sniper s/o!! i hadn't manage to go thru all ur series yet due to uni and a certain grade a a-hole prof BUT I'M ON A BREAK SO I WILL GO TRHU EVERYTHING. PLS EXPECT THE BARKINGS IN TAGS. OH OH EVERYONE!! IF U GUYS WANNA READ ANGST, CRACKS FICS, EVEN POEMS PLS GO TO DEI'S WRITING ACC RIGHT HERE @rozcdust THEY HAVE SO SOOO MANY GOOD UNGOING/FINISHED SERIES!! my fave one forever gonna be Sanzu's and i don't accept other criticism. OH AND I REALLY DO APPRECIATE UR EXISTENCE IN MY LIFE FRFR I LOVE UR CRACK HEADEDNESS IN THE CJATS AND THE WAY WE BOTH FORGOT TO REPLY TO EACH OTHERS TEXTS LOLOL ILY PLATONICALLY pls do take care of urself n dms always open if u need me or wanna ask stuffs!!

@arosora - AVAAAAAAAA <33 i don't think u gonna expect this but hajshsjz PLS yes we don't talk too much since we just started being moots a week or two ago(?) BUT i like that u randomly popped into my inbox after the message i sent in ur gform lmaoooo <33 AND!!!! AND THEN WE FOUND OUT THAT WE'RE BOTH COSPLAYERS?!?!?! PLS THE CONVO STARTS BEING ME SIMPING OVER YOU (praise the lord i can't get ur wakasa cosplay outta my head) PLS PLS PLS TAKE CARE OF URSELF AND UR HEALTH!!! if one day i'm able to travel, i'll definitely go and visit u and we can go to a con together!! i stalked both ur cosplay tiktok n insta hhh and pls i'm dying over each cosplay. they're so so soooooo good <33 ALSO LISTEN UP EVERYONE!!! AVA HAS A WAKASA SERIES THAT YA'LL MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN!!! SHE'S DEPICTING WAKASA'S PERSONALITY LIKE MIKEY! (with the dark impulses) she's currently on hiatus due to a con BUT YES DO GIVE IT A READ ISTG!! oh and ava, take care at the con n take care of ur health <33 thank u for existing <33

@p-antomime - KIKI, MY PIE, MY SOULMATE, MY WIFE, MY EVERYTHING, THE MAIN CHARACTER IN MY LIFE. Ik u know this BUT i will tell u over and over again. U are talented. don't let others bring u down just bcs they're jealous of ur talent. don't be sad of not being chosen for performances bcs that's just bs (who knows if the chosen ones actually bribed the instructors/j) just unleash ur talent bitch don't hide it in. again ik u know this but i love you🙄❤️ yes i do bully u a lot but take it as affections will ya? and andddd i really realllllyyy love our conversations. i love the way u just stop typing and let me rant bout my cats and the shitty day i had. i REMEMBERED that message when u hit 2k followers, u were so soooo happy and i am so happy that u texted ME to tell bout it. andddd ah what else.. Oh kiki u are one oblivious person pls 😔✋it's funny that u still don't get the idea of my bday gift to u although it's literally written in the convo. u are a dumbass but u are my dumbass so ily -_- bitch if u didn't followed me back then, fr i would had missed my chances to interact with u and thus i really appreciate ur random follow (heads up ur my first follower bye) n ur existence in my life <33 oh and our convos always somehow ended up being fruity bye ur theatre kid ass ain't straight don't try to act like one -_-

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY I LOVE YOU GUYS <33

[fridgeful-o-help]

thank you if you can answer my questions, hopefully all 5 parts went through, and sorry that it ended up being kind of long and rambly. i really appreciate the way you answer people and thought you'd be able to provide some good insight which is why i wanted to hear your opinions if that's okay. thanks so much again, i really do appreciate any advice, and i hope you're doing well and having a good day or night. take care for now!

HI NONNIE! I GOT ALL YOUR ASKS AND ILL DO MY BEST TO AWNSER EVERYTHING I CAN. I DO TRY MY BEST TO BE HELPFUL, AND IM GLAD YOU THINK IM GOOD AT IT.

I HOPE THIS HELPS BUT IM VERY LONG-WINDED TODAY APPERENTLY

NOW, TO BEGIN. TYPICALLY WHEN ARGUING FOR NEOPRONOUNS AGAINST THE ARGUMENT YOU HAVE BEEN PRESENTED YOU HAVE TO GO FOR MORE... WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS BETWEEN ASKING PEOPLE TO CALL YOU A SLUR OR WITH "BLMSELF" IS THAT THOSE THINGS CAUSE ACTUAL HARM TO OTHER PEOPLE. THERES ALSO THAT THERE ISNT ANYTHING WRONG WITH PIZZASELF, IT JUST SORT OF? SOUNDS SILLY? ITS NOT HURTING ANYONE, AND THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A LITTLE SILLY IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE. A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO HATE NOUNSELF ARE GOING OFF THE BASE REACTION THAT ITS SILLY/DUMB SO ID KEEP THAT IN MIND. (FYI IF YOU GO BY PIZZASELF YOURE AWESOME. YOU DONT DESERVE ANY FLACK YOU GET FOR DOING SO AND KEEP BEING YOU BECAUSE YOURE COOL! 8}) BUT YES I AGREE, MOST IF NOT ALL PEOPLE WITH THAT ARGUMENT DO NOT USE NEOPRONOUNS THEMSELVES.

PLEASE REMEMBER THOUGH THAT IF IT WAS UNINETIONAL WHEN YOU INVALIDATE SOMEONE IT WAS AN ACCIDENT AND MISTAKE, AND YOU WILL MOST LIKELY BE FORGIVEN. WE ALL DO AT SOME POINT OR ANOTHER AND I PROMISE IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON.

COMING FROM THAT, THERE IS A VERY SIZABLE CHUNK OF NOUNSELF USERS WHO ARE LEGITAMATE AT LEAST THE LEAST, FROM MY PERSONAL OBSERVATION. A PATTERN I THINK IVE NOTICED IN (A PORTION OF) THE PEOPLE WHO I KNOW 100% ARE SINCERE IS USUALLY PEOPLE WILL SELECT NOUN PRONOUNS BASED ON HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT THEMSELVES? FOR THEM ITS DONE AS PART OF GENDER PERFORMANCE TO INVOKE A CERTAIN FEELING, LIKE SOMEONE WHO FEELS VERY CUTESY MIGHT GO FOR BUN/BUNS FOR EXAMPLE. ITS NOT ALWAYS THAT WAY THOUGH.

SORRY I GOT OFF TRACK. ANYWAYS, NOUNSELF TROLLS ARE SOMEWHAT DIFFICULT TO SPOT DUE TO IT BEING WELL. HARD TO MAKE A "PARODY" OF, REALLY. WITH NON-NOUNSELF ID JUST CHECK PRONOUNCIATIONS AND SUCH BEFORE PROCEEDING. FOR THE MOST PART THOUGH I WOULD TRY TO HANDLE YOUR FEARS AS BEST AS POSSIBLE? INSTANCES OF TROLLING LIKE THAT BLOW UP BECAUSE THEY ARE SCARY AND GENERATE CLICKS, THAT DOESNT MEAN THAT THEYRE COMMON NOR UNIVERSAL. IF IT CONTINUES TO BOTHER YOU ID SUGGEST DOING SOMETHING I LEARNED IN THERAPY CALLED A BELIEF EXPERIMENT (DOING A SMALLER, ACHIVABLE ACTION TO ATTEMPT TO PROVE OR DISPROVE WORRIED/ANXIOUS THOUGHTS. ID USUALLY DO THIS WITH A SUPPORTIVE FRIEND TO HAVE YOUR BACK OR SOMETHING OF THAT SORT)

GENERALLY IF YOU THINK YOUR FRIENDS WOULD FIND IT ODD BUT WOULD STILL BE RELITIVELY ACCEPTING ID TREAT IT LIKE A NORMAL COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET WITH A FEW EXTRA STEPS. ID USUALLY SUGGEST TELLING YOUR FRIENDS PERSONALLY BEFORE UPDATING YOUR SOCIALS, BUT THATS UP TO YOU. ID ALSO GO WITH ANY TRANS FRIENDS YOU HAVE FIRST IF THATS AN OPTION, BECAUSE USUALLY ITS EASIER TO EXPLAIN HOW YOU FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE WITH NEOS IN THAT SITUATION. IT MIGHT SUCK BUT ID SUGGEST THAT WHEN/IF THEY ARE MILDLY INSENSITIVE JUST EXPLAIN THAT IT BOTHERED YOU AND WHY, HOPEFULLY THEYLL GET IT.

TYPICALLY MY RESPONSE TO SOMEONE BEING RUDE TO ME IS NOT... IDEAL SO I DONT KNOW HOW TO ADVISE YOU ON THAT, BUT GENERALLY YOU DONT HAVE TO DEFEND THE FACT YOU EXIST IF YOURE NOT UP FOR IT. USE THE BLOCK BUTTON AS LIBERALLY AS YOU LIKE, ITS A DEFENCE IN ITS OWN RIGHT.

THATS ALL, I THINK. YOUR MESSAGES COPY-PASTED WILL BE UNDER THE CUT, FORGIVE ME IF I MISSED SOMETHING, I DO HAVE A DISORDER THAT MAKES IT SLIGHTLY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO READ. FEEL FREE TO SUBMIT ANY FURTHER QUESTIONS, COMMENTS ETC AND DO TELL ME IF I DID MISS SOMETHING YOU STILL NEED HELP WITH .

MESSAGES AS FOLLOWS, WITH SEPERATIONS REMOVED:

so i've been using neopronouns for less than a week and every day since i started, i've been getting negative reactions. the negativity comes from strangers, so it doesn't hurt me as personally as if friends were doing this (i actually haven't said anything to my friends about my neopronouns yet). anyhow, when people try to argue with me, i tell them that i don't see why they can't be respectful and call someone whatever makes them feel happy and comfortable. one reaction i got was "just because something makes someone happy doesn't make it valid" and compared it to letting someone drink poison if drinking poison is what makes them happy. then i get a lot of people who bring up stuff like "but what if the pronouns that make me feel valid contain a slur? / what if i use pizzaself? / what if i only go by BLMself pronouns? you'd be invalidating me!!!" and they try to use my own words against me since i've previously said "even if you don't understand it you should call people by what makes them feel valid." i know these people don't even use neopronouns to begin with but tbh it still does start to make me feel guilty? i'm nd and i can't always pick up social cues or sarcasm so i would feel horrible if i did unwillingly invalidate someone. but i'm also kind of paranoid because so much trolling has been going around recently like one video where someone tricked another person into using neopronouns that sounded like a slur when said out loud, recorded it, and put it online. i don't always know who is being sincere and who wants to trick people, particularly with nounself pronouns, like the pizzaself thing. finally, i wanted to go back to the topic of not telling my friends about my neopronouns yet. i feel like if i just start to put my neopronouns on profiles that my friends can view, it'll seem odd to them that i never said anything before, but i also don't know how to bring up in a personal conversation "i found out about some neopronouns i like and i've started using them" without it being awkward. i don't think my friends would make fun of me but i do think they'd find neopronouns 'weird' in general and maybe act kind of insensitive without meaning to, like not getting it. how would you react to the rude ppl? i know i could ignore them but i feel like they take that as them 'winning' or me running out of ways to defend my point of view. and how would you have your friends find out about about you wanting to use neopronouns?

[akechicrimes]

Prompt 37? Futaba and Akechi platonic/Futago siblings?

37. “Follow me. It’s okay, just hold my hand.”

after akira leaves tokyo, futaba does just fine without her key item, except for when she doesnt.

(one of them AUs were goro survives the engine room and rejoins the phantom thieves. no i will not explain. persona 5 canon AND persona 5 royal do not interact. for reference in this universe futaba and akechi are half siblings but only akechi knows that)

*

“Next time you see me, I’ll be a whole new person,” Futaba tells Akira excitedly on his second-to-last day in Tokyo. “I’m going back to school, I’m out and about by myself—oh! Oh! Did I tell you I said yes to Kosei? I told Kosei I wanted to go to Shujin and they offered me scholarship! And I went to the subway station by myself yesterday!”

They’re crammed into Akira’s Leblanc attic, sitting around a cake that literally none of them were capable of baking themselves, so they’d bought the thing from a bakery and decorated it with little black and red hearts. Ryuji is passing around his gross soda, while Ann is recounting some story that doesn’t matter with incredible enthusiasm. Makoto looks like she’s determined to enjoy herself and will hear no argument.

The whole thing is incredibly morbid, if you ask Futaba. It feels less like they’re waiting for Akira to leave Tokyo and more like they’re attending Akira’s funeral. Akechi in particular looks like he’s regretting attending, which honestly tickles Futaba more than it should, that the most dishonest Phantom Thief seems to be the only one looking as honestly put-off by the entire affair as everyone else is determined not to be.

That’s everyone else’s problem. Futaba might not be happy Akira has to leave, but she’s proud. She’s sad that Akira has to leave, but also she promised Akira that by the time that he had to leave, she’d be able to get around on her own, without clinging to him for support. And she is able. She kept her promise.

Tomorrow might be the day that Akira has to go, but today is the day that Futaba is Officially Recovered.

Akira does that annoying thing he does where he puts his hand on her head and messes up all her hair, like he’s a human cat showing affection by pissing everyone off. Futaba yelps. “Look at you. You don’t need me at all.”

“I told you that I’d be ready to say goodbye by the time you had to go back to your hometown,” says Futaba. “I haven’t broken my promises yet, have I?”

There’s a burst of laughter from Haru over something Yusuke said, who looks rather surprised to discover that he said anything funny. Both Makoto and Akechi snicker at him, and then stop immediately to glare at each other the second they realize they’ve accidentally wound up sharing an opinion.

Akira ignores them. “Well, you can still text me if you need me. Or call.”

“I’m trying to tell you I’m getting better and I don’t need you,” Futaba grumbles. “Also, what kind of psychopath do you think I am to call someone on the phone?”

“That’s what phones are for.”

“Calling people is scary.”

“I thought you were getting better?” Akira teases.

“I am!” she says, pointing a finger at him. “I am! Just you watch, Akira. I’m getting better every day.”

*

Six months after joining Kosei, Futaba locks herself in her room and does not reemerge for seven days straight.

*

She tells Sojiro that she’s sick. Sojiro tells the school that Futaba told him that she’s sick. She definitely fakes a hell of a good cough, and the school lets Yusuke send her her all the homework that she was supposed to be doing in the first place, but Futaba already knows it’s only a matter of time before Sojiro rats on her, and she won’t even blame him because it’ll be for her own good.

In the meantime, she has stashes of crackers and peanut butter from back when she was a full-time hermit. She hates the taste of peanut butter within three days. Her bed is a relief, soft like a home she never left, up until it isn’t anymore. It’s too soft. No matter how she lies on it, no matter how soft it is, a mattress just isn’t comfortable when you’ve been lying on it for seventy-four hours. It’s hot. Smothering. She feels like she’s going to drown in the blankets and they’ll have to fish her moldy, sweaty corpse out of the bottomless quicksand pit of her too-soft mattress.

The thing about being a shut-in is that you don’t actually like your room very much. It’s not a relief, or an oasis, or even a place you enjoy. You’re just terrified of everywhere else more.

She plays a lot of video games that she doesn’t even like. She watches a lot of Twitch streamers she doesn’t even like. She doesn’t do her homework. She ignores Sojiro. She pretends she’s alright to everyone who texts. She wakes up and goes to sleep and thinks about going outside and goes to sleep and wakes up and wonders if the whole last year and her cautious baby steps back into the world outside was all just a hazy dream.

*

There aren’t a lot of Thieves left in Tokyo, weirdly. Haru and Makoto both graduated, off doing business and law junk that honestly makes Futaba’s brains want to crawl out her ears, but all the numbers check out and Haru’s not in the red yet, and Futaba’s looked at enough people’s dirty laundry to appreciate Haru’s clean ledger. Akira’s back in his dinky hicktown, where there’s barely anything electronic connected to Wifi worth breaking into for surveillance, which is really boring.

Ann’s been doing so many modeling gigs that she might as well not be attending Shujin anymore. She’s practically surrounded by electronics, and all of them are connected to the internet. On any given day, Futaba can snoop through the internet trail of electronic file cabinets full of images of her face, emails about her face, paychecks for her face. Futaba sends Ann more than one email about creepy old dudes making gross comments about her, along with a bunch of other illegal shit they’ve done, plus their offshore accounts full of cash if Ann wants Futaba to sic a lawyer on them.

Ann looks like she’s having fun. Ann looks different on the other side of the computer screen, like she’s less real. Like she’s not someone Futaba really knows. Like Ann’s not someone Futaba’s literally cried on at one point in her life.

Ryuji is definitely attending Shujin, but between physical therapy, catching up on a whole year of track, athletic scholarship hunting, and studying for college admissions tests, Ryuji seems to have been swallowed whole by Shujin, really. Out of boredom, one day, Futaba went down that rabbit hole of researching what it takes to get recruited for track in college, and holy shit–apparently Ryuji’s coach was supposed to be helping him with that whole process, but of course Ryuji barely has a proper coach ever since Kamoshida left Shujin’s track program in pieces. The amount of networking he’s doing is insane, especially for one teenaged boy who barely remembers his homework every night.

Sometimes, when Ryuji’s forgotten to check his email in a while and there’s a message from a coach sitting in his inbox, Futaba will send him a text to make him check it. And then it’s all, What were you doing looking at my emails, Futaba and Which of my other passwords do you know, Futaba, as if Ryuji doesn’t just use the same password over and over and has literally nobody but himself to blame.

So it’s really just Futaba, Yusuke, and–weirdly–Akechi, who’s off doing his gap year and said he was going to go abroad, but then he never did. Not to be a huge snoop, but Futaba went digging through his junk for about five seconds and then she never did it again, because she felt really weird about finding out that the guy that killed her mom is looking into social work, volunteerism, and reforming the justice system.

Like. The man who killed the Thieves’ leader is now literally out there saving orphans. It’s wild.

She might’ve been the one to tell Akechi that he can start over again and do better, but she reserves the right to at least feel weird about it.

She does not call Akira. She talks to Yusuke at school, but she refuses to ask him to accompany her on the subway. She should be recovered by now, shouldn’t she? She was supposed to have gotten over all that when Akira left Tokyo. She’s doing fine. She’s just looking out for her friends. Her, living vicariously through her friends, who’re growing up and growing away, flourishing into young adults? Never.

*

Everything is the same.

*

Didn’t she help kill a god last year?

Didn’t she work so hard to get out of her room, to make friends, to reconnect with Kana-chan?

Didn’t she work so hard to change herself?

Didn’t she help change the world?

*

Everything is the same.

*

Tuesday, 1:43 PM

YUSUKE: Futaba?

FUTABA: yo inari

FUTABA: u got more homework for me or what

YUSUKE: Ah, no.

YUSUKE: I think your teacher finds it suspicious that I’m sending you homework when I’m not in your grade, as it is.

FUTABA: oh no

FUTABA: what a shame that we didn’t have an entire year of experience with getting away with wildly illegal magic brain crimes without raising any suspicion

FUTABA: truly emailing me like four pieces of paper a day is far too difficult

YUSUKE: Well, I can’t get your homework from your teacher, but I can give you more homework if you’d like.

FUTABA: ok bucko that wasn’t a challenge

YUSUKE: There’s a math problem set that’s been incredibly dull to get through when I have more important pieces I could be working on…

FUTABA: inari im sorry to say but

FUTABA: me literally doing your homework for you is about a thousand times more illegal than you giving me my homework when ur not in my grade

YUSUKE: Oh, is it?

FUTABA: wh

FUTABA: are y

FUTABA: what do you mean OH IS IT

FUTABA: did you not KNOW ur not allowed to have other ppl do ur hw????

FUTABA: inari have u been making other people do ur hw for u so u can have more time to do art?????????

FUTABA: no shut up i dont want to know

FUTABA: i will not be ur accomplice

FUTABA: i see ur little speech bubble thingamajig yusuke i said stop typing forever and ever

YUSUKE: I can’t invite you to the art gallery tomorrow if I can’t type.

YUSUKE: It also seems impractical for you to outlaw me from texting forever.

FUTABA: i literally did not say that

YUSUKE: You said, and I quote,

YUSUKE: “Yusuke, I said stop typing forever and ever.”

FUTABA: ok i know it looks like i said that but please im begging u it’s literally just an exaggeration

YUSUKE: As Makoto would say, it’s hardly an enforceable law.

FUTABA: u literally texted my sick and crusty ass just to give me a hard time

YUSUKE: Are you about recovered from your cold?

FUTABA: and now u have the nerve to ask me to go to ur art show thing

YUSUKE: I didn’t say that.

FUTABA: oh really

FUTABA: what were u gonna ask me about then

YUSUKE: The art show, naturally.

YUSUKE: But you could have done me the courtesy of letting me ask.

FUTABA: all that on the day of my daughter’s wedding and now u want me to do u a solid

FUTABA: well i have news for u

FUTABA: the answer

FUTABA: is yeah

FUTABA: sure why not

YUSUKE: Oh, excellent.

YUSUKE: I thought that you might decline on account of your illness.

FUTABA: i’m not a punk bitch

FUTABA: i’m going

FUTABA: u were only working all those paintings for like two months i wanna see their oily faces in person

YUSUKE: Just because they were made with oil paints does not mean that they are oily.

FUTABA: cant wait to see my oily boys

YUSUKE: Unfortunately, I have to set up the event beforehand, so I will not be able to accompany you on the way here.

YUSUKE: Will you be alright by yourself?

FUTABA: uh

FUTABA: hmm

FUTABA: how oily are these boys in case i need to call a rain check

YUSUKE: Hmm.

YUSUKE: Perhaps someone else can go with you.

YUSUKE: Let me see if I can find someone.

FUTABA: what like one of ur art friends

FUTABA: i’m not going with anyone i dont know sry

YUSUKE: I’ll keep it in mind.

Tuesday, 1:59 PM

YUSUKE: Unfortunately, Ann and Ryuji were not available. Both of them will be coming late to the art show.

YUSUKE: Fortunately, Goro is.

FUTABA: whomst

YUSUKE: Goro Akechi?

YUSUKE: Crow, in case you know multiple Goro Akechis.

FUTABA: no like why u callin him goro

YUSUKE: I asked him if I could and he said yes.

YUSUKE: There’s not many people left in Tokyo who were part of the Thieves.

YUSUKE: I’m not exactly popular at school myself, so I thought it prudent to hold onto the connections I already had.

FUTABA: hhhhhhhhhhhhh

FUTABA: but why him……………………………………….

YUSUKE: Has he done something wrong?

YUSUKE: Well.

YUSUKE: Besides the obvious.

YUSUKE: Last I heard, you were quite vocally supportive of Goro making a change for the better,but have you prehaps reconsidered?

FUTABA: i mean he’s always been nice to me

FUTABA: like even before he was on the team as crow

FUTABA: and then later after he like lost his shit and tried to kill us

FUTABA: he was also like weirdly nice

FUTABA: even if he was dressed as a tokusatsu villain

FUTABA: but

FUTABA: i

FUTABA: ok this is gonna sound really weird but like

FUTABA: you know how i said that the person to take me to the art show has to be someone that i know

YUSUKE: Yes.

FUTABA: even though akechi was one of the thieves at the end

FUTABA: i feel like i dont really know him

FUTABA: he like had that whole breakdown where he spilled all his kylo ren sadstuck junk and then he peeled his dumb ass up off the floor and then we beat up his dad in a dark alley

FUTABA: and then i guess akira likes him a bunch and hangs out with him and i guess probably talked to him about all that stuff that happened

FUTABA: and also i think ann talks to him

FUTABA: and also haru i think for some reason……………………..

FUTABA: but like i feel like. we as a group. never really uhhhhhhh

FUTABA: got to know him very well i guess

FUTABA: because he spent like the whole year being a fake ass bitch

FUTABA: and then by the time he wasnt, the thieves were busy literally fighting god, and it was all business business business

FUTABA: ughghfhg i guess this is just a really long way of saying that like yeah ok i guess i do know him but i dont think i really do

FUTABA: even when he was off the shits in the engine room it was like

FUTABA: somehow that was not……………………………….. really him

FUTABA: idk maybe this is just my Thoughts but like

FUTABA: idk some people are like “your true self is who you are at your worst” and

FUTABA: yeah maybe you are some PART of urself when youre at your worst but like

FUTABA: also not???

FUTABA: that can’t be it

FUTABA: that’s not ALL of you

FUTABA: so all i ever saw was him when he was being a fake ass barbie prince and then when he was like actively losing his shit

FUTABA: and both of those were like. two types of fake ass barbie prince

FUTABA: except obviously the one where he started screamin about murder and trying to kill joker was like, fake ass serial killer barbie prince

FUTABA: anyway i dont buy it for a second that seeing akechi at his worst means that i know the first thing about his “”“”“”“”“true self”“”“”“”“”“”“

FUTABA: like i know that i technically met him but also at the same time i dont think ive ever really actually met this dude

FUTABA: uh tldr what’s the truth crowboy

FUTABA: second tldr do you got anyone else i can go to the art show with because im not unpackin all that junk in the trunk while also trying to fend off a panic attack in the subway

YUSUKE: Well, to speak to "what’s the truth, crowboy,” I’d say he’s actually really funny.

FUTABA: WHAT

YUSUKE: Yes, actually.

FUTABA: YOU TRYNA TELL ME YOU SHARE A SENSE OF HUMOR W AKECHI

YUSUKE: As everyone knows, I don’t have a sense of humor.

YUSUKE: But if I did, that might not be inaccurate to say.

YUSUKE: Either way, we could ask Boss if he’ll take you to school.

FUTABA: no

FUTABA: im not makin him shut down leblanc for the day just cause i cant get my shit together

FUTABA: and i go to school by myself all the time now i dont need to be walked there by my dad like a four yr old

FUTABA: r u sure u dont have anyone else who can take me

YUSUKE: You said it had to be someone you know.

YUSUKE: I can take you.

YUSUKE: But I’ll be getting to Kosei early to prepare.

FUTABA: how early is early

YUSUKE: Four in the morning.

FUTABA: PLEASE INARI

YUSUKE: The people you know is a quite limited pool, Futaba.

FUTABA: shut the hell ur face i dont need u tellin me to make kosei friends too

FUTABA: i get my butt to school every day i’m already a hero

FUTABA: ok alright

FUTABA: crow-san it is

FUTABA: hhh

FUTABA: no shut up stop typing i’m fine

FUTABA: i already saw his dumb ass get inflicted with Horny from Yaldy God Himself i ain’t afraid of no crows

FUTABA: actually now that i remember that that was pretty funny mwehehehehehehe

FUTABA: OKAY send me the who what when where why

YUSUKE: There’s a PDF flier. I’ll send it to you.

YUSUKE: But I will have to type the email to send it to you.

FUTABA: oh my GOD inari

FUTABA: i swear to god ur not actually this dense and youre just pretending u dont know what an exaggeration is just to drive me up the wall

YUSUKE: Oh, that is a possibility, isn’t it?

FUTABA: WH

YUSUKE: Ah, last period is starting. I’ll have to talk to you later.

FUTABA: WHAT

FUTABA: NO WAIT

FUTABA: HELLO????

FUTABA: YUSUKE NO COME BACK

Tuesday, 2:53 PM

FUTABA: YUSUKE HAVE YOU BEEN MAKING AKECHI DO UR HW FOR U SO YOU CAN DO MORE ART??

FUTABA: IS THAT WHY UR ON A FIRST NAME BASIS W HIM

FUTABA: ANSWER ME STRINGBEAN

*

In Futaba’s opinion, there’s an infinite amount of more embarrassing reasons to pull yourself out of your depression pit than “I needed to yell at my friend for being a snotty bastard,“ and there’s worse escorts to have than the weird guy who went from being a professional murderer to their weird awkward friend. Firstly, if there’s anything that can motivate Futaba Sakura, it’s the primal urge to dunk on her friends for spite and memes. Secondly, there’s no chance in hell Futaba’s going to have a breakdown in front of Akechi.

She can do this. She got herself out of this grave once; she can do it again. Even if Akira isn’t here. She’s getting better. She promised him.

On the eighth day of her almost-return to hermithood, Akechi texts her:

AKECHI: I’m here.

AKECHI: Are you ready to go?

Futaba is wearing only an old shirt, no bra, sweats, and vaguely greasy hair from all the showers she’s skipped.

FUTABA: i’m SO ready

FUTABA: the readiest

FUTABA: ultra mega super ready

FUTABA: featherman ranger code name Ready

AKECHI: Oh.

AKECHI: Alright.

Hell yes alright. Time for Futaba to save her own life from her gravesite of a room.

With… Goro Akechi. Wow, life is weird, huh?

She drags on her Kosei uniform like a skin discarded long ago. It feels stiff. Maybe because it feels wrong to wear school clothes like a functioning human; maybe because she just hasn’t washed it in a week. The very idea of explaining herself to Sojiro stresses her out, so she doesn’t do it. The idea of not explaining herself to Sojiro, when he deserves an explanation and also would probably have a heart attack if he realized that she’d disappeared from her room without his knowing, also stresses her out, so she still doesn’t explain herself to Sojiro.

I told Akira I’m better now. I can do this. I did this for more than six months. I was out of my room in the real world, I went to the school festival, I changed my own heart…

She creeps down the stairs like a thief in her own house and pokes her head out the door. Goro Akechi is fiddling with his phone in the sun outside her house, looking like he, too, has only just managed to pull on his Human Suit and look like a guy who didn’t make shadows beg for mercy for fun, so it looks like this whole expedition is going to be a lot of fun.

"Futaba-chan?” says Akechi, only just noticing her lurking in her own doorway. “It’s been a while since we last saw each other. How are you?”

Futaba opens her mouth. No noise comes out.

Akechi’s eyebrows slowly begin to knit together.

“I���m good,” she says squeakily. Clears her throat. Holy shit, she’s not afraid of Akechi after all that junk they went through in the Metaverse. She saw him as a rat. She saw him visibly want to break his father’s face when Shido tried to apologize to him on live TV. Once, Makoto and Akechi got into an unironic, passionate, hour-long argument about whether or not it’s beneficial to color code your notes.

“I’m alright!” Futaba announces louder, maybe a little loudly, considering the way he looks only more concerned. “L-Let’s hurry up and get this sidequest over with!”

She pulls her hoodie over her head and jams her hands into the pockets and makes herself as small as possible and inches out of the doorway. “If you… say so,” says Akechi, and eventually matches her incredibly slow pace as she shuffles her way towards the main street.

When the noise of Yongen-Jaya’s street hits her, her heart rate (already high as hell) spikes even higher like the first day she’d come out of her room, but the old coping mechanisms come back like second nature: Breathe slower, avoid eye contact, remember her mission, stick to the sides of the streets. Breathe slower. She’s still got it. It’s still hard, but she’s got a whole arsenal of ways to deal. She can do this. She will kick Yusuke’s ass for being a dick, if only out of sheer spite.

If Akira were here, I could hide behind him and…

No, shut up, shut up. All she has is her hoodie and Goro Akechi. Akira’s not here. She can do this by herself.

Akechi makes precisely two attempts at small talk (“How has Kosei been?” “Have you seen the pieces Yusuke submitted to the art show before?”) before he realizes that Futaba isn’t going to respond by virtue of barely holding onto her shit by her fingernails. He shuts up and sticks close by. Futaba makes her way down the streets towards the subway like walking on a tightrope. The subway station isn’t busy, but she puts every step in front of her like she’s going to fall. Getting on the subway might as well be a highwire. Futaba and Akechi wait for the train in mutual silence to the sound of other commuters murmuring amongst themselves, like a toothless echo of Mementos’s depths.

When they get on the train, people around her are quiet, thank god, but all of a sudden she’s convinced that she smells because she hasn’t taken a shower in literal days, and she tries to pack herself into her seat as tightly as possible. The guy in front of her is scrolling through something at a ferocious pace and his thumbnail keeps hitting the screen with this incessant clack, clack, clack noise. The subway voice announces their next station as the doors begin to close, and a girl suddenly sits bolt upright, having realized that this is her station after all, and bangs Futaba’s knees hard as she passes. Futaba wants to curl her legs to her chest, but she’s wearing Kosei’s uniform skirt and it’d just make everyone stare at her if she did that on the subway. She curls her fingers into the skirt hem. She stares down at her knees and lets her hair drape around her like a curtain. She can do this. She can do this. Breathe slower. Even slower. I did this for more than six months, I told Akira I’m better now, I changed my own heart…

Akechi pulls out his phone. Futaba’s phone buzzes.

AKECHI: Are you alright?

FUTABA: i said i was ready dude

Akechi types and retypes an answer, which technically Futaba could just look over his arm and read, but instead Futaba flips through apps on her phone and pulls up a shitty mobile dungeon crawler. She dies four times before Akechi puts his phone away without sending anything.

They pass multiple stations like that. Futaba sure as hell hopes that Akechi’s watching which station they’re on, because she isn’t. After the millionth time she dies, Futaba just closes the app altogether. Concentration’s shot. Can’t focus on anything. Heartbeat’s too loud. Breathing’s too loud. The guy next to her is breathing too loud. Everything is too loud.

New text:

AKECHI: Yusuke said you’d recovered from your cold, but you still look a little unwell.

Futaba doesn’t respond to that. She doesn’t need Negative Nancy over here telling her she’s gonna crack. Because she isn’t gonna. The subway starts to slow, and the voice announces the station for Yusuke’s school. She’s literally almost there, she’s right there, she might die in three seconds because her heart is going to pound of her chest but at least she’s going to make it, she promised Akira that she was alright—

The subway doors open. Passengers stand to get off. Akechi stands up. Futaba drops like a rock.

“I can’t,” Futaba’s voice says. She sounds like she’s crying. “I can’t, I can’t do it, I—”

“Futaba—”

“I’m can’t do it, I—”

She buries her face in her knees on the dirty subway floor. Oh, she really is crying. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t…”

Around her, people’s feet stop moving. They’re staring at her. She’s crying on the subway and everyone is staring at her. “Shh,” says Akechi, like Futaba doesn’t know she’s being a loud and irritating pest, but then he takes off his winter coat and covers her with it. Suddenly everything goes dark. It’s a huge coat, too; it wraps around her whole torso with enough room to spare to cover her entire head. Inside, it’s like she’s back in her room, only listening to the sounds of real life somewhere on the other side of a computer monitor, where it can’t hurt her. It’s so surprising she hiccups to a stop. Two hands pull her up by the shoulders and guide her to stand. “Up. Let’s go.”

“Is she okay?” says a voice.

Futaba’s entire body seizes with fear. She ducks into her own knees, trying to disappear.

“Hey, little girl, are you alright?”

“She’ll be fine,” says Akechi’s friendly, super fake ass barbie prince voice. “My sister just had a hard day. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

“A hard day?” Now the stranger’s voice is accusatory.

“For your information, our dog was recently brutally run over in front of her eyes.”

“Young man, are you serious right now?”

“Oh, yes. There was blood everywhere. Its intestines squelched horribly under the tires less than six feet away from her,” Akechi goes on. Futaba chokes, and then hiccups in what she realizes is almost a laugh. “Please excuse her. Thank you.” And before the literal complete stranger can follow up on that awful statement, Akechi takes her hand and pulls her up.

Futaba stumbles to her feet. If she has to take the coat off right now, she will actually die.

“It’s okay. Just hold my hand and follow me.”

Blindly, she lets him lead her out of the subway, weaving through people with only minimal contact with other people’s shoulders. There’s a whole awkward period where Akechi has to walk her up the stairs out of the subway station while she can’t see anything, but eventually the noise and bustle of other people around her seems to die away, and the air grows cooler in the way it does in the shadows between city buildings. Then they stop walking altogether. When Akechi lets go of her hand, she almost tries to grab it back before she catches herself.

“Okay. There’s nobody else around, now. It’s safe.”

Futaba doesn’t come out of the jacket. In the dark, her eyes dart back and forth, trying to see even as she blinds herself.

“Sorry for grabbing you so suddenly like that,” Akechi’s voice goes on after it becomes obvious she’s not going to come out.

Futaba wipes snottily at her own face. Oh, this is so gross, she’s got snot and tears on top of five days worth of grime and body juice because she hadn’t taken a shower. She’s disgusting. She really actually wants to die right now. She can’t show her face like this.

“Er,” says Akechi. “Do you want…. water, or…?”

Futaba folds up right there on the city pavement, probably dragging Akechi’s nice coat all over a dirty alleyway. She tucks her face into her knees, where she feels safest, and pulls the coat flaps even tighter. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be.”

“I’m sorry for not being okay,” she mumbles.

There’s a short silence. “You really don’t have to be.”

“I do,” Futaba says. She feels like she’s nine years old again, a petulant kid who needs to hold people’s hands and be escorted around Tokyo. “This is—it’s stupid, and I can’t believe I-I’m still doing this, a-and even a-after everything that h-happened last year, I’m still just a… I’m still…”

“It’s fine,” says Akechi. Even he sounds overwhelmed, and at the first sound of weakness, she pulls the coat off her head and glares at him furiously, red-faced and covered in tears and snot and gross depression juice crust and all.

“I’m not supposed to be this way anymore!” she says miserably. “I’m supposed to be better! Moved on! Doing literally a-anything else but crying over t-taking a subway! It’s stupid and nobody else is like this and I just want to be over this already and I just want to be better already and—!“

She covers her face with her hands again. God, even when she says that, it sounds pathetic.

After a moment or two, she hears Akechi moving again. She peeks at him. He’s crouching in almost the exact same pose as her, looking like he’s resigning himself to neither getting his coat back, nor moving from this spot any time soon, nor getting to Yusuke’s art show on time, but also looking archly and entirely unperturbed about it. Actually, it looks like he’s writing a work email on his phone.

Futaba was right about being in an alleyway, but it’s so cold because they’re shielded by a trio of vending machines selling canned coffee and wrapped sandwiches. "Our dog was recently run over?” she says.

“People can mind their own damn business,” says Akechi in his Pleasant Boy Voice, without looking up from his email.

“He was just trying to help.”

“Oh, yes, let’s help the crying girl by crowding her and suffocating her in a crush of public transit.”

Futaba snorts. “That was really mean of you.”

“Oh, absolutely,” says Akechi.

Futaba sucks a truly disgusting gob of snot into her nose. “Ugh. I wish I could’ve seen the guy’s face when you told him that.”

“It was like I’d spat on his shoes. I should’ve kept going. Or had a camera.”

“Futaba giggles wetly into her forearms. "Like one of those—those prank videos online… Get Yusuke to film it.”

“Yusuke, as the cameraman? I’m not trying to make a documentary.” Akechi flips to a different screen on his phone. “I already texted Yusuke about our poor dead dog, by the way, so don’t worry about it.”

Suddenly Futaba feels like literal garbage again. “Why are you always so nice to me?” she mumbles.

Akechi makes a weird face, like he’s trying to do his old Pleasant Boy shtick while having swallowed a lemon whole. “You say that like me being nice is somehow unusual.”

“Uh, yeah. Because it is. You literally were just being a huge asshole to a guy you’d never met over a fictional dog.”

Akechi has this increasingly disgruntled look on his face like he kind of wants to punt Futaba down some stairs, which, frankly, is the best sort of reward, in Futaba’s opinion. “I’m working on it,” he says grumpily.

“How’s that been?” says Futaba.

“Which part?”

Futaba has one whole moment of self reflection on this idea as maybe not a good course of action before she barrels on anyway: “The part where you’re turning your life around. Starting over. Trying again.”

“It sucks dick,” says Akechi.

“Oh, right on,” says Futaba, and then before she can stop herself: “Wait, I thought you liked dick?”

Akechi makes a noise like a strangled cat.

Futaba cackles. “Dude, incognito mode when you’re browsing for porn does not save you from people like me.”

“Have you been spying on me?”

“Uh, yes? Obviously?”

“You know you could get arrested for that sort of breach in privacy.”

“Oh, boo hoo, so sorry I know all about your weird orphan-saving night job and your smutty Featherman doujinshi collection. You’re not gonna narc on me.” Futaba stops. “Are you?”

“Stop looking at my internet history.”

“No. You better not narc on me.”

“Then stop looking at my internet history.”

“You had to google how to change a SIM card last week, crow-boy; you couldn’t stop me if you tried.”

“I will narc on you.”

“No you won’t. You’re the one trying to not be an asshole.”

Akechi makes a face like a cat being slowly submerged in cold water. Futaba laughs in his face.

“If you’re quite done,” says Akechi grouchily.

“No, never. You’re made for being made fun of,” says Futaba. “I’m gonna be making fun of you for years and years, crow-boy; you’re never going to get rid of me.”

“Great.”

“Gonna be creeping on your weird orphan-saving night job until the day you die.”

“Wonderful,” says Akechi without inflection whatsoever.

“Mwehehehehehehehehehe.”

“If you’re quite done.”

“I will take a well-deserved break from my endless duty to troll you both on and offline,” says Futaba. “Because I really really really wanna go to the art show.”

Akechi has the nerve to look relieved that he no longer has to squat in a dirty alleyway listening to a high school freshman bully him. “Then let’s go.”

Futaba hugs her knees tight. “But I wanna keep your coat.”

“Aren’t you wearing your own coat?” says Akechi, trying to look like he isn’t shivering. “Aren’t you getting hot?”

“I’m keeping it.”

“It’s my coat.”

“I’m keeping it.”

“Fine, then. Keep it. It’s dry clean only.”

“Oh, ew. No, take it back, gross, gross,” and Futaba peels the snotty, tear-stained, dirty winter coat off and dumps it back in Akechi’s arms, who looks at it with the expression of someone long-suffering and without hope of escape.

“And,” says Futaba, “I wanna see it if you tell anyone else that our dog got run over.”

Akechi smirks. “You’ll have to film it, then.”

“Oh my god, like I wouldn’t.”

Futaba scrubs her face one last time. She still feels like she’s covered in a grimy layer of slime, but maybe she can wash her face at Kosei. When she gets there. Because she’s gonna get there.

“Uh, one more thing,” says Futaba.

“Not like you’ve bullied me into doing literally everything else you’ve wanted,” says Akechi.

“You can’t laugh at me.”

“Good thing I don’t have a sense of humor,” says Akechi, which horrifyingly confirms to Futaba that Akechi and Yusuke, of all people, really do share a sense of humor.

Futaba hesitates. “Please, um… please don’t tell Akira about this.”

“Why would I tell Akira?“

"Nice. Good answer.” She smooths her hair down, trying to make herself presentable, or just have something to do with her hands. “I… told him I was gonna be okay without him and all that, so… I don’t wanna let him down, you know?”

Slowly, almost shyly, Akechi smiles. “Oh, yes. I know.”

“Our secret. Secret-keepers.”

“Secret-keepers. Are you ready?”

Futaba takes another deep breath. Pushes herself up, brushes herself off, and sighs. “Absolutely not. This is gonna suck so much dick,” says Futaba. “Let’s go anyway.”

[charmspoint]

Haha, hiii, you seem like super nice and I'd love to be friends or something, but I have like theeeee worst social anxiety especially on social media so actually messaging is out of the question. Sooo anyway what this amounts to is that I just think you're really cool and nice and seem very friendly and fun to talk to, hope you have a super nice day!!

Hello! Thank you so much that's such a sweet message ;-;

Don't worry about it anon, you just take it easy on yourself. I know a bit or two about social anxiety. Not too long ago I was absolutely terrified about speaking up about anything in social situations. Like it was the kind where i would enter a group on discord and immediately assume everyone there hated me for ??? no real reason. My initial assumption was simply that i was a very hatable person and that the people i was interacting with had to build towards liking me instead of something needing to happen for them to hate me. So if anything small happened at all, such as for example my message getting accidentally overseen because a lot of people were texting, my mind would immediately blow it out of proportion and think 'they are ignoring me because they dont want me here and they think what i said was stupid'. I remember times when i was literally shaking with anxiety over a server fight or how hard it was for me to make friends and how i basically made my two college friends by sheer luck. One time me and my friend got into a fight and i spent a few days in such a catastrophic mood like 'she hates me forever now and my other friend will leave me too and ill be all alone again because im a hateble person'...we made up a few days after and are still friends.

That was a lot of text to basically say 'i get what you are going through'. Social Anxiety is very rough and very hard to ease because well...it requires you to put yourself out there and that's the scary part. It's like jumping out of a plane when you are afraid of heights, you need to expose yourself to the possibility that people might not like you and that you might have bad social experiences to ease the fear of it. It takes time and it takes good people. It meant a lot to me when in those servers i mentioned i could go to a mod and ask them 'hey do people here hate me?' and them having take it seriously as social anxiety. Like terumob server is long dead and Sassi doesn't follow me here i dont think but 💗Sassi i love you thank you💗It was really nice to be able to sit with someone and basically go 'i know im being irrational but i need reassurance anyway' because things like these are like 'i KNOW its not that bad but i cant help but FEELING like its that bad' and it was really nice to like have ppl who'd go 'if something ever kick starts ur anxiety come to me and i'll check' like just to have someone say 'no this doesnt mean what ur afraid it means' is so very reassuring. And then here i had @autumn-foxfire who i can properly tag and who's inbox i hounded for a while on anon with very long ass rants until i was assured that i was not being super fuckin annoying with my rants and that they are actually fun and enjoyable and now we are friends on here :D so thank you too foxy i also love u 💗

This has gotten really long...but basically like...here i am now, making long ass rants about things i like and have opinions on and there are people who jive with it and there are people who like my fics and come tell me about it (💗all of you guys are great and I super appreciate you making this such a fun experience💗). This kind of stuff is rough and it might ease but it never really feels like it fully goes away. I'm still shit ass at actually making friends irl because idk how to talk to people but i feel like i can be much more of myself because i no longer feel the need to just...cut myself into a silent little cube that nobody notices. So I'm cheering for you anon!! Take things at your own pace but know that things will take pushing and that that pushing might be scary but its so worth it in the end. In the end you know yourself best and you don't really need to start by jumping out of a plane but maybe by finding a nice wall to jump off of. Either way my inbox is always open and I'm not exactly prone to biting lmao.

Thank you again for such a sweet message it really made my morning💗💗💗I'm sorry my reply got so long hbjhbjh i have a lot of thoughts on things >.< 💗 I hope you have a nice day too!!

[kinktae]

Hope you’re doing okay and wishing for your recovery!! 💗

below the cut are some of the most precious, kind, sweet, angelic human beans in the world. thank u so much to everyone who took time out of your day to send me in a kind message rooting for my recovery :((( u guys have my whole heart!

Anonymous said: im so sorry about your diagnosis i really hope you get well soon! praying for you! 🥺❤️

Anonymous said: oh baby… i’m so so sorry this happened to u 🥺. i’m truly hoping n wishing u a speedy recovery. take care as much as u can n rest as much a u can. i’m sending u lots of warmth, love, n healing energy ! feel better soon, sweetheart 🥺🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

Anonymous said: I'm so sorry to hear about you falling ill atm!! I hope you're feeling better (covid is a bitch so better as in: sick but not sick af) and resting a lot 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

purely-heroine said: I know we don’t converse but you are one of my favorite authors and are important in this world SO PLEASE GET BETTER AND STAY HEALTHY AFTER!!!! 🥺💛🌼

Anonymous said: Omg rose please get well soon :( I’m so sorry I hope everything turns out ok for u take ur time to recover <3 I hope u get well quickly❤️❤️❤️❤️

Anonymous said:omfg get well soon !! and i'm sorry that you're in this condition bc people are too stubborn to wear masks :((

Anonymous said:Get well soon love! My thoughts go out to you, stay safe and take care of yourself ❤❤

Anonymous said:OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY DO YOU THINK YOUR CONDITION IS SERIOUS AND HOW DO YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW STUPID PEOPLE NOT WEARING THEIR STUPID MASKS AND NOW NY BEAUTIFUL ROSE IS HURT FUCK THEM I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE YOU GET BETTER

Anonymous said:I’m sending you all my love honey! I hope all of your symptoms go away soon! 💖💕💞

jiminskth said: oh my corona NOO pls pls pls take care of urself and most of all !!do not!! force urself to write bc were waiting ur health ALWAYS comes first! im so sorry thjs had to happen bc of other ppls foolish actions :( i hope u get better quickly bc we’ll all miss you! 🥺❤️

Anonymous said: omg rose im so sorry :( there are irresponsible people who think that things are back to normal but is quit the opposite so i hope you get better soon 💜

Anonymous said: Hope you get well soon honey! This sucks ): but I’m praying for your fast recovery 💜

sakurasangcl said: Oh no! Take care of yourself and feel better soon!

Anonymous said: ladies grab ur swords we’re gonna find this rona bitch and we’re jumping her ass for hurting our gorl rose☺️🗡

Anonymous said: ME AND THE HOMIES ARE GONNA GO BEAT MISS RONA’S ASS FOR LAYING HER FILTHY HANDS ON YOU😤👊🏽 n e ways i hope you feel better soon and have a safe recovery bby🥺💞💓💖

Anonymous said: Omg how are u and ur fam feeling!!!!

Anonymous said: Are you feeling any better? I hope you are!

Anonymous said: Hewwo just passing by to say that I hope everything's okay and that you and your dad are doing better now 💗

Anonymous said: rose :(( i hope you and your father get better soon!!! sending love to you so you can stay strong ❤️❤️❤️ muah!! ❤️❤️❤️

Anonymous said: i am so sorry to hear that you and your father are sick. i will keep you in my thoughts and i am hoping you feel better soon. take all the time you need to recover and more; you and your family's health are more important than anything. stay hydrated and nourished! 💞💞

Anonymous said: Hi! Uhm I really like all your stories, im just here to say that we your readers appreciate you so much ❤️ I hope you're doing well know! We'll always be by yourside

roxydemi said: I hope your dad is alright!! Please take care of yourself and I wish you and him a speedy recovery 💖

Anonymous said: Damn that fucking sucks theres like no other way to explain it i hope you and your father are okay along with your whole family hun your in my prayers 😥😔 🙏🏽 stay strong ✊🏽

diorscript said: rose i hoping for a full recovery! this virus has been ravaging this world for far too long and i hope it’s eradicated soon 🥺 i pray that you and your family can come out of this safely 💗💗💗💗

Anonymous said: Omg I’m so sorry about ur father :(( I really hope he gets well soon❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

cheyshumannose said: Take all the time you need beautiful, your health is what’s important 💜

Anonymous said: i hope you’re doing well too. stay strong - hate anon ❤️

kxsmicsmain said: Hey Rose! My mama has just recently finished recovering from COVID, so I really hope you and your father can as well! Im sorry you got sick, but I really hope you all can reciver quickly and be okay!

Anonymous said: I’m so sorry you have covid! It’s awful! I am a nurse, and even though I don’t work on the Covid unit, a lot of my coworkers and I have come down with it. Here’s to hoping you have a speedy recovery, keep hydrated.

cainami said: You’ve been in my thoughts and prayers lately girl 💖 i just wanted to tell you hope you feel better and i hope you don’t feel too down. being sick can be scary even when you are recovering well. wishing you all the best🥰 (in the meantime i’ll be rereading all your fics lol)

bbbrats said: hi my baby, it’s been a while :( but i hope you’re doing well! i saw your covid 19 post so I wanted to give you a home remedy. It helped my mom with her covid. Onions, orange peels, lemon peels and sea salt in a pot of boiling water. lean over it and inhale the steam that comes from it.

meesathefish said: OH MY GOODNESS I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN’T CHECKED YOUR TUMBLR FOR UPDATES IN A WHILE I HOPW YOU & YOUR DAD ARE DOING OKAY PLEASE MAKE SURE TO TAKE REALLY DEEP BREATHS REGULARLY TO PREVENT PNEUMONIA I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT ELSE IS GOOD TO DO BUT PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU & YOUR FAMILY FIRST AND FOREMOST YOU WERE THE FIRST BTS FIC AUTHOR I FOLLOWED ON THIS WEBSITE YOU’RE WONDERFUL YOU GOT THIS SENDING GOOD VIBES & EVERYTHING YOR WAY ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Anonymous said: heyy miss rona really do be out here ruining shit but i hope you feel better soon pls take care of yourself <33

kpopbias1 said: Get well sis! I'm rooting for you!

lovemyself-persona said:I hope you get better soon 💜💜💜 my mom, brother and I, along with a few other family members got it and have now gotten over it and I hope you do too 🥺 stay rested and hydrated 💜💜💜

Anonymous said:y’all we gotta stop miss rona now. she’s gone too far.

usagionthem00n said: Rose my darling Im wishing you the best of health and speediest if recoveries🌼🌸🌺💐

[notyobabygirl]

Hello~ this would be my first ever submission to your acc but. I see lots of ppl asking for advice and I love how genuine your responses always are. I need some advice. Okay so abt a year ago I matched w/ this guy on tinder and at first I was kinda reluctant with and the waY I would respond to his messages. (Partly bcos I was mainly talking to this other guy) but we were kinda hitting it off. We had a few things in common esp taste in music. Well he comes to mention a local band to host a show and he invites me. I say yeah I’ll go just to say so bcos most of the guys I’ve talked to say that yeah we’ll hangout but never end up doing anything. So I didn’t think much of it. Day of the show comes rolling around and I completely forgot abt the meetup... he texts me asking if I’m there, I don’t answer, he then calls me and I panic and let it ring.. I ended up accidentally ghosting him out of embarrassment of myself for being such a b*** and well let’s just say after that I deleted his contact, unfollowed and removed him from my follower list and un added him on sc. I was so embarrassed and felt super bad. Moving forward w/ COVID and everything Early September comes and I decided to redownload tinder again and I see him! O-O I did this hack to see if some1 swiped right and he did... and so I ended up swiping right on him as well, we match and he automatically messages me. And i right off the apologize for ghosting/ standing him up no hey back or anything. But he nonchalantly takes my apology and says we’re good. So I thought nothing of it. September lit was the Worst month for me and he kinda helped me get through things unknowingly. He was there when no one else was. And he seemed soo into me. We talked on the phone, we were both kinda giddy and completely hitting it off. I was so invested. Then we did a discord call and watched a scary film, I was Super nervous and expressed that to him as well. But as the virtual movie night went on I felt good abt it but I was too quiet bcos I was scraed I was gonna say something stupid and ruin things. But let’s just say after that date, things just weren’t the same. He started lagging a lot and I kinda mentioned it to him and he said that he’s been super busy with work and school but I Remember before he even started lagging he told me that rn he does not have the mental capacity to “talk” to anyone rn but that he’s afraid I’ll lose interest if he doesn’t text ASAP and I was super understanding and told it ok if he’s busy. And well idk what’s actually going on in his real life but our convos were kinda sparse from there. And he kinda ghosted me back in Dec. and recently got in contact w/ me apologize and I responded saying it’s ok. But I’m just confused I don’t want to mention anything to him abt how I feel bccs I’m afraid I’ll get rejected or he just tells me he doesn’t want to talk to anyone again. But like idk I’m even down to just be his friend. I just feels it’s humiliating to always text him back no matter what I just need someone else opinion on this. I’m sorry for the loooong submission. If u decide to read this thank you sm I greatly appreciate it <3

Awh wait that is so sweet of you I love you!!!!  Honestly I think you should text him and ask him the questions you have. If you want to be his friend then tell him that. i also think a lot of it has to do with you being more confident. He obviously really likes you and likes talking to you, if he didnt then he wouldn’t offer watching the movie and stuff. Be confident in yourself because it’s so sexy in a relationship. And what do you have to lose ya know?? So just text him and tell him where your head is at. Im sure only good will come from it. Its better than second guessing yourself over and over! Love you so much lmk what ends up happening!

[kodzukenscorner]

hiya! here for a matchup 😼 i’m a bisexual girl at 5’2 with hazel eyes and long black hair and pretty pale skin. i luv gaming and skating, and am very athletic. i engage in basketball, jiu jitsu, etc but most centered around dance. i’m very ambitious and tend to overwork myself to improve. i’m an ENTP and VERY extroverted 🤰i’m outgoing and love cracking jokes but i know when to chill. i’m also an aries sun and venus. my aesthetic is very comfy indie skater but it fluctuates! ++ 🐰

🐰 i’m pretty confident and blunt sometimes to the point where it can hurt some ppls feelings. i do have a hard time opening up despite my extroverted self, i’m more of a surface leveled person and tend to bottle everything up bc vulnerability is scary luv 😽✨ i’m supaaa mfka goal driven and i love adventures. i’m a people person and even introverted ppl find themselves comfy and laughing around me which i take IMMENSE pride in! speaking of pride i do have a bit of an ego and it makes me ++ 🐰

Your match is...

Kuroo Tetsuro

Confident power couple unite!!

He loves your confidence and how easily you can open up to people

He’s struggled with that in the past and really appreciates all the effort you put in to make people feel comfortable and happy around you

Also thinks you’re badass for being so athletic but he is also whipped for how gorgeous you are

But he always makes sure that you don’t overwork yourself, he can’t have his queen burning out!

Likes to joke around with you a lot and he often banters back and forth with you

He knows you tend to bottle up how you’re feeling but the more he gets to know you, the more perceptive he becomes

He understands how you feel but doesn’t push you to open up unless he thinks it’s absolutely necessary 

He wants you to be able to trust him and he values every minute he gets to spend with you

Runnerup:

Nishinoya Yuu

a/n: ahhhh I just realized i think your message was cut off because it seems like there was more?? i hope this was ok!! but if you wanna send in the full description, i can do it again for you <3

[ingenves]

     ok its ya girl back at it, same deal ! if u wanna plot just HMU or LIKE THIS and i’ll come to you ! wes is my father & u can peep his pinterest board HERE !

     ⌈ chris pine, cismale, he/him ⌋ hey, is it WESLEY BIGELOW that you’re looking for? you know, the THIRTY-SIX year old CARPENTER. typically i see them hanging around GRISTOL DOCKS so you could try there! i hear they’ve been in living in PRINCETOWN for THIRTY-SIX YEARS. gristol wouldn’t be the same without them, right? anyway, whenever i see them they make me think of waking up before dawn, an old rowboat sitting in still water & a kitchen full of fresh produce.

tw: car accident & illness 

this mans has lived in town his entire life!!! his parents, william and rose bigelow owned a historic farm . willy & rose were high school sweethearts, a shotgun wedding joining them together after rose ended up pregnant with their first child at the age of 19. while rose’s parents were furious with their daughter for being so reckless, william’s father was more than happy to offer them a place to stay and lend a hand taking care of the baby that would soon be on the way.

despite the circumstances, wes was never treated as an accident or a mistake. he grew up in his grandpa’s farmhouse with a loving family. the bigelow family followed some pretty traditional gender roles. wes’ dad and his grandpa would wake at the crack of dawn and work out in the field until sunset while his mother hung around the house to take care of him, doing laundry, making dinner, taking him to the park, everything.

from a young age he was encouraged to help out on the farm but being the mama’s boy he was, he was far more eager to help his mom out with the cooking and the laundry. he was close with his grandfather as well, the two always working on little projects together like building a tree house, birdhouses, his own bee house………………….a lot of houses

but wes was never rly close with his father. william wasn’t much of an emotional or talkative guy, usually just sitting there in stern silence and working the day away. a bit of a scary guy despite not ever doing anything scary?? he’s just an ominous guy that doesn’t rly seem impressed by anything so wes never rly knew where he stood u know.

the one time wes ever really felt close to his father was when they would take little weekend fishing trips together, even though they didn’t really speak. just the fact that william took his time to teach wes how to do everything and didn’t get mad or frustrated when he lost a lure or let a fish go by accident was enough to like…..send the message. that was his way of showing his love u know.

the second bigelow child was welcomed when wes was a kid and while at first he was jealous that his new baby sister was getting all the attention, having a baby around the house was kind of fun. she’d make funny faces and funny noises and he grew to love her pretty quickly. he used to always say that his baby sister was the best thing that happened to him. when she got older, he taught her how to make mud pies and how to play pranks on grandpa who was a rly good sport, all things considered.

car accident & death tw !! the winter of ‘94 would prove to be the worst winter of wes’ entire life. on the way back home to pick up a christmas tree from a nearby farm, the family’s old pick up hit a patch of black ice and ended up flipped into a ditch. it was a bad wreck. luckily his grandpa and sister were safe at home during the time of the crash, but wes and his parents weren’t so lucky, his mother being the unluckiest of the bunch. they were stranded in the middle of the road for two hours before anyone showed up for help and by the time they arrived, it was too late for rose, who got the worst of the injuries. doa at the hospital while wes and his dad walked away with mostly minor injuries. that year, there was no christmas tree and no presents. christmas dinner was replaced with takeout and no one said a word.

illness & death tw !! not long after rose passed away, grandpa bigelow got some bad news. lung cancer that no one really saw coming. just a few months after the diagnosis they were having another funeral for another member of the bigelow clan.

it was a tough year, but they got through it. wes did his job to step up and do all the things his dad couldn’t do; all the things his mother taught him. he expected all of it to make his dad more closed off but it had the reverse effect and for the first time in his entire life, wes and his father had heart to heart conversations.

jump forward to high school and things finally felt like they were back to normal. william wasn’t dating yet but he wasn’t being all that anti-social, either.

wes discovered quickly he was the kind of person that other people liked and he was quite popular??? he made good grades, played football, dating the coolest girl in school (in his own opinion ofc), everything kind of fell into place for him in high school

and then after high school he…………didn’t rly know what to do asdj;fdksgfkdlj he never went to college and decided work around town doing odd jobs and saving some money so he could go off and travel and live his life as a young person craving adventure.

he was gone for abt a year or so before coming back home & he’s just been here ever since, doin his thing

started working with a family friend in his shop, doing what he loved and building things n working with his hands u know and hasn’t stopped doing what he loves ever since

he owns his own shop now & builds custom furniture 

the….personality section has Arrived

he’s quite the Charming guy but he talks WAY too much

definitely the kind of guy who will just…..talk about himself non-stop without even realizing it ?? he needs to get his Ego in check even after all these years smh

buT he’s very good at making conversation and is rly a friendly guy!!!! will talk and joke with anyone just because……why not ?? it makes his day when ppl talk to him so he will talk to u even if u dont feel the same way

highkey the kind of person to start up a random conversation w a stranger in the grocery story just because

lowkey uncomfortable with feelings and still isn’t super great at expressing emotions and his thoughts but ya boi is trying his best

but he’s rly good at picking up on signals. he can’t express his own emotions but he’s like….pretty in tune with other ppl

a very platonically affectionate guy. loves hugging his buddies and telling them how much he loves & appreciates them

and now for the lil extra tidbits

he’s got two dogs. a german shepherd named mulder & a pomeranian named scully sfddgfhgfg and he strategically uses his dogs to flirt w ladies when they’re out on a walk LMAO

he’s got a 6 year old daughter named aspen with a woman he is no longer dating ( im prob gna put this as a wc on the main so if u want this....hmu???? ) but they are still v close and spend a lot of time together & he loves aspen more than anything :’)

he’s very much a Dad. dad jokes all the time. endless shitty puns for everyonE

the man loves a turtleneck. he can’t keep his hands off a good ass sweater u know ??

he loves to cook and is v good at it, since he’s been cooking his entire life. he is the self-proclaimed kind of bbq and honestly???? he’s always throwing lil bbq parties & they are a hit :/  u know he be winning contests w his grilling bro

obviously.........a handyman. the house he lives in now, he built himself after tearing down the old on.  he built himself a nice big deck and everything so he can have a nice place to host bbqs and everyone will come compliment him on hard work and enjoy his fantastic recipes

he runs his own business building & selling furniture!!!! need a shelf installed??? give him a call. dog chewed up ur table leg??? give him a call. house burned down???? give him a call he’ll build u a new one.

what’s better than this ??????????? guys bein dudes

he rly likes going to the movies. lowkey loves disney but pretends he only cares bc his daughter likes it but……….u know he knows the words to every song

tragically heterosexual ://///////

he loves strong coffee & he loves beer & occasionally he loves a good book & a nice game of chess

did i mention he is such a dad bc………..he is such a dad

someone hold his rough sandpaper ass hands

[jjkfire]

Hi sweety! How are you doing? Is life treating you right? How’s the job going? I heard it’s Thanksgiving there! Hope you got a nice meal with great ppl! Just wanted to check up on you and say how thankful I am that you’re here and happy and for your work! Seeing you achieving the things you wanted and living life your own way makes me very happy! Hope you have a great weekend!

hello!!!!!!!! oh my gosh i am so sorry for the late reply lol i have had such a busy month and i always feel like i take time to reply to your asks because i don’t want them to be half-assed replies ): anyway i’ll reply to this ask and the others under the cut!

//i’ll reply to this new ask first! but i’m good :D how are you??? it is thanksgiving and i spent it with my friend’s family hehe so it was great. i ate a lot which made me very happy and i also got to see my friend whom i haven’t seen in a few months hehe. again, you’re so nice and sweet and although thanksgiving is an american thing haha i hope you had a wonderful week and weekend regardless of that. i hope you too are out there achieving the things you want in life!!!

//

Sweet pumpkin pie (cause Halloween is around the corner)! I was fast replying this time! You know, I really don’t mind the negativity around me, ppl being false and not treating me “right” as long as I’m myself and kind and generous. I don’t tolerate being disrespected and stuff and am fierce and scary when I’m standing my ground, but only when necessary. You know, negativity and victimization is an option; we always have a choice, so I chose to absorb all the positive things and silverlinings +

The course called Now is basically self-help. It’s lead by a very famous psychiatrist Roberto Shinyashiki and Arthur and lots of guests, like Fernando Scherer; they coach you to get to your top performance, what’s stopping you from getting what you want, show successful cases, do a lot of regression exercises and other things to organize your mind. It’s orchestrated to be empowering as you’re surrounded by 3 thousand people. It can be used in your personal/social life, finance or business/career

I’m sure gonna check the books you recommended. I will recommend “Decifre e Influencie Pessoas” – Paulo Vieira and “O Corpo Fala” – Pierre Weil, if there’s a translation in English to have a better understanding of human beings. I do really like Jung’s Man and His Symbols and “About Behaviorism” by Skinner. If you haven’t checked them yet and are interested, do it. It’s a pretty heavy reading, but so enlightening. The human mind fascinates me!

Everything is so nice right now! I feel so happy. Hope you’re felling the same way too! This weekend I met so many friends and even went to Beco do Batman. I posted (and will be still) the pics in the other blog (if you search for the tag pp-epiphany, it’ll show). And if you ever revive your photo blog or create a photo Instagram account, I would love to see it, if you don’t mind! I made that blog to remind me of the good things I get to experience.

It makes me extra happy to hear you felt nostalgic (or as we say here: com saudades) the lead you to revisit your old blog! As always, I wish you’re having such an amazing time in this new life and that you never loose your brightness and shine at anything you put your mind to. Have a great day, even better week and a super duper amazing weekend. And if you enjoy Halloween, happy spooky season! Hope you go to a lot of parties and have fun!!! Ps excel sheets are the sexiest thing on pc. Period.

///

can’t believe it took me more than a month to reply ): i am genuinely so sorry but time passes by so fast! i will reply faster next time, i promise! but yes, don’t let people step all over you but also always remember to be kind haha. sounds contradictory but i think there’s a fine line and as long as you are aware and you’re happy then all is good. and yeah the power of positivity is amazing! i think people laugh at it but personally, it helps me a lot.

oh yes i’ve defo heard of roberto shinyashiki! did you find the course helpful? i’ve watched the netflix documentary on tony robbins’ course and perhaps because i wasn’t there in person, i didn’t feel its power. everyone interviewed really seemed to have loved it tho.

wahhh nice book recs and yes that is definitely some heavy reading hahaha if i ever find the time, i’ll look into those! i’ve been getting into audiobooks lately bc i find it easier to listen to books on my way to work so maybe if i find them on audible, i’ll give it a listen. same. love the human mind and all the things we do and don’t know about it

i’m glad you’re feeling happy and that you got to meet your friends and got to go to places. i’ve seen the pics!!! the artwork is amazing and i loved the pic you took of the flowers too :D i’ll defo let you know the insta handle when and if i ever make it HAHAHA. and my old blog is honestly just reblogs and not photos i’ve personally taken haha so it’s nothing great but com saudades indeed (”:

i hope all is well with you and that you’re very happy and loving life too! i didn’t do anything for halloween but definitely enjoyed the vibes and seeing the decorations all over the neighbourhood. people had crazy inflatables and all this amazing decor. it was great! and yes excel sheets are my life!!!!

i hope you too continue to bring happiness to those around you and also do things that make you happy and fulfill you!!!! :3 i know my replies are always late but please know that i 10000% appreciate getting these messages from you!