#I know she's having a hard time. her husband is ill. but honestly? I don't care

[monimccoythings]

Like Father Like Daughter

I have so many WIPs from different fandoms and this Wolverine fic ideas just keep coming and coming... I appreciate so much the support I've been shown, I don't look at the notes because it shows in activity that is 99+ and I get anxious lol. Logan has a nasty temper but is really fun to write.

Living with an ill-tempered man like Logan wasn't always easy, but living with him and his variant's teenaged clone turned adopted daughter who had the exact same temper as him, was proving to be quite the challenge.

As anybody would expect, those two were constantly butting heads at everything, be it food, curfews, or, just as they were doing at this very moment, Laura's choices in fashion.

The girl had chosen some shorts and black leggings, with black sneakers, and a crop top that was way too short for an old fashioned man like Logan to approve, to hang out with some friends she had made at her new high school. Barely sparing a glance at her outfit, Logan had snapped at her to go back to her room and change into something more appropiate, which Laura took it as well as any teenage girl that had spent part of her earliest teen years dressing and doing what she pleased in the void would. And then the screaming match had begun.

"NO CHILD OF MINE IS GOING OUT DRESSED UP LIKE THAT."

"IT'S JUST A SHIRT, IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL."

You let out a quiet sigh. You knew daughters were supposed to rebel against their parents, but having two superpowered beings at each other's throats at all times wasn't the great idea the universe thought it was. You knew they loved each other deeply and would kill for each other, but sometimes they were way too much alike.

"Sweetie, listen to Daddy on this one, he just wants what's best for you."

How the fuck had Wade gotten in and embraced your husband's muscular arm without anyone noticing. With a low growl, Logan pushed him away. Laura did not seem too pleased with him either.

"FUCK OFF, YOU AREN'T MY MOM!"

Wade covered his mouth and let out a shocked gasp that honestly was worthy of an Oscar nomination. You quietly thanked him for his presence, maybe that would help relieve the tension in the room. Laura turned at you, imploringly.

"Tell him he's just overreacting. Please."

You sneakily looked at your husband, who seemed to be red with rage, his lips pulled back in a feral snarl that clearly was a display of dominance, knuckles pressed against the wooden table so tightly that you started to fear for the well being of the furniture. His muscles were so tense he looked like he was going to burst out of his shirt, by the way the veins in his neck were swelling.

You didn't want to disrespect his authority over his daughter, but you also didn't want to make Laura direct her hate at you; you loved that girl and her attitude as if she was your own child. It seemed they needed some consesus, and you guessed you'd have to be once again the bigger person here.

"Laura, your father is just worried about you. If you want to wear that top, then you'd have to put a jacket on. And we want you back home by eleven."

"But my friends-" She started to protest, but you quickly cut her off.

"Eleven and that's more than your father was willing to give you."

She bit her lip, considering her options. With a huff, she stomped back towards her room to get that jacket. She slammed the front door on the way back out, not even bothering to say goodbye. Teenagers.

The living room got quiet. Really quiet. You could only hear Wade munching on some popcorn he had gotten from God knows where. Logan was fuming, not at you of course, but at his unruly adoptive daughter's behavior. He stormed towards your shared bedroom and slammed the door close hard enough, it made the pictures on the wall tremble. You sighed.

Well that went well.

It wasn't until half an hour later that he cooled off and decided to come out. You were cleaning up some dishes while Wade sat on the couch watching some cartoons. It made you smile, it was like you had two children running around.

You felt your husband's stubble and nose nuzzle against the back of your neck, as he embraced you from behind, his massive hands covering the entire expanse of your fourth month pregnant belly. "Feeling better now?" You casually asked.

His teeth nipped at the skin on your neck leaving a burning feeling that only his tongue could soothe. "I don't know what to do with her, she seems to fight against everything I do or say." His deep rumbling voice sent shivers running down your spine.

"Deep down she knows you love her. And she loves you too, even if she is too 'cool' to admit it." He let out a bitter chuckle, massaging your belly while leaning his chin on your shoulder, his sideburns made you tickle.

"I just hope this little one doesn't give us that much trouble."

"Hey, however they come out, we will love them the same, because they are a part of our family." He kissed your cheek and you leaned back into his embrace.

"Yes, our family." You let out a laugh at the sudden extra weight on your backs. Looks like Wade had gotten tired of the tv and had decided to join you into your little embrace.

"Wade..." Logan started warningly, carefully prying his hands away from your belly.

*SNIKT*

[storytowrite]

|The FINE Art ~ Hwang Hyunjin|

Theme: Art Student! Hyunjin x Y/N

Warnings: mention of nudity, smut, 18+, unprotected sex, the age gap Y/N is 15 years older than Hyunjin.

Word Count: 5257

Summary: Life wasn’t easy for you. You lost your job, lost your husband who remarried and took everything away leaving you only with an old, sick cat. You desperately needed money. Thankfully, your friend is an art teacher and your body is quite tempting. Especially for the young, talented student.

------------------

“I’m sorry ma’am, but the cat needs surgery if you want it to live longer. We cannot wait long.” The vet said his verdict. Your old cat, Lemon, was ill, and you knew that. The thing was that you didn’t have enough money and you were in a really bad situation. 

“How much is for the surgery?” You asked. 

“It will cost about $3000 in total with all the care.” The vet answered your question and you sighed heavily. Why on Earth does it cost so much?! And more importantly - how will you gather all the money needed? 

“All right… If that’ll help him, please do everything you can. I can’t lose him too.” You said tiredly. 

“We’ll do everything we can to save this little boy.” The vet smiled at you honestly. 

You nodded and left your cat at the vet’s clinic. It wasn’t a good timing for such expenses, but you had to do everything you could to just save your animal. You sighed heavily once again. The previous week was hard and now this. Your life was a mess. You lost the job, since your boss decided to hire “some younger girls” and you were simply too old in his eyes. 

The divorce process was finally over. But unfortunately your ex-husband took everything he could, including your apartment. Because of this, you had to move in with your friend, at least until you get back on your feet again. Fortunately, Lina was happy to help you. 

You returned home wasted and without your cat, which you left at the veterinary clinic. You wanted to cry. Earning $3,000 in a short time seemed unrealistic. Well, because how to do it? 

"Oh Y/N are you back already?" Asked Lina peering at you from above another artwork she was working on. "Everything ok baby?" 

"No, nothing is ok. Lemon needs surgery and I don't have that much money to pay for it. And I still can't find a job. Everything is falling apart for me." You sat down heavily on the couch. "And I also need to find an apartment and..." 

"Woah, slow down honey. I don't mind your company. You and Lemon can stay with me as long as you need, after all, you know that.... And as for work, I think I have an idea." She smiled slightly at you. You knew that kind of smile from Lina's genre of brilliant ideas. 

"Oh no, why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?" You asked, looking at your friend. 

"Don't exaggerate, it's nothing like that.... Besides, we'll both benefit from it." 

"Fine, what's the idea?" You asked, slightly curious. 

"Great... you'll love it!" She clapped her hands. 

After an hour of talking to your friend and her persuading you, you finally agreed to help her with her little project. Lina was a drawing teacher in the art department, and her students were just starting to learn how to sketch real people. They needed a model for this, since the topic was THE FEMALE BODY. 

At first you had a lot of concerns. Lina wanted you to pose nude in front of a group of some of her top students. You had huge objections to this. You didn't feel like showing your body to strangers in their twenties. But you had no choice. The deal was simple, 10 sessions at $300 each, for a maximum of five hours per class. That is, two weeks of work. You were able to do it, right? 

"I don't know Lina, I have to think about it..." You said, glancing at her. 

"Just don't make me wait too long for your answer.... Besides, you have a beautiful body for our age, so what's the problem?" She asked lightly. 

"What do you mean what's the problem? I'm supposed to show off to a group of 20-year-olds? After all, they are children!" 

"Honey, these are young adults. Besides, they are just a few people. I'd rather pay you than some strangers. Think of Lemon. He needs this operation.... And if you prove yourself, who knows? Maybe I'll hire you permanently?" She persuaded you further. 

" Oh, hell no... I'll find a job, eventually." You replied quickly. "But fine. I'll take part in it..." You agreed, sighing heavily. "Just so I don't regret it..." 

"Believe me, you won't and you'll even like it!" She replied excitedly. "We'll start first thing tomorrow morning! Prepare yourself properly, you know, shave and.... " 

"Okay, I'll prepare properly.... Anything else?" You asked in a tired voice, interrupting her sentence. 

"Hm... take some clothes to change into.... And well, put on some nice underwear. Tomorrow we start with the upper body. The students will sketch your torso and breasts above all. Well, and tie your hair in a ponytail, it will be easier to see your collarbones.... But that's at ease, I'll tell you everything exactly tomorrow." She grinned. "Go rest, I still have to finish here." 

You sighed heavily and went straight to the bathroom, following your friend's directions. You still weren't convinced about the idea, but the situation forced you to do so. You felt stress above all. You may have had a nice, fit body, but you certainly weren't used to showing it to strangers. 

After a long and warm shower, you headed to your bedroom, where you fell asleep rather quickly. The next day would be a very long one... 

The next day you got up early, got dressed and did light makeup. You left your hair loose, for now at least. Later you'll tie it up in a ponytail. Your friend had already been bustling around in the kitchen since morning. 

"Good morning! Ready for today's challenges?" Asked a delighted Lina. 

"Mhm, I won't be any more than I am." You muttered uneasily. 

"Oh grumpy... Come on, or we'll be late." Lina didn't seem to mind your dissatisfaction. 

"And breakfast?" You asked. 

"We don't have time... you'll get something on the spot." Your friend waved her hand and pulled you with her to the exit. You left her apartment and headed for the car. The trip to the university didn't take long, but you were getting more and more stressed with each passing moment. No wonder, after all, you will be posing naked.... 

You entered the university and headed straight to the room where the classes would be held. Lina showed you everything inside and once again reminded you what to do and how to do it. Your task was quite simple. All you had to do was show some breasts and sit still on a stool for a good couple of hours. 

The students began to fill the room, and you heard Lina greeting them cheerfully. You sighed quietly. It's going to be a long couple of hours. 

"Dear students, I have a little surprise for you today." You heard your friend's words. "A good friend of mine has agreed to get herself acquainted with us. As I said, you will learn sketching on a living organism.... Y/N come join us and show yourself to our students." 

You took a deeper breath and stepped out from behind the screen. You stressed all over. You stood in the middle, right next to your friend, trying not to catch eye contact with any of the students in the room. 

You quickly swept your eyes around the room. There were eight students in the classroom, three girls and five boys. They looked rather uninterested. You glanced out of the corner of your eye at Lina, who continued her argument. 

"Y/N will be our model today. Please be nice to her, she has never done this before. Today we'll take care of the upper body. Your task is to reproduce Y/N's torso and breasts. We sketch from the neck until we reach this point." Lina showed them exactly how much to sketch. "Y/N honey, take off your top and bra and sit on the stool. Do any of you have any questions?" 

The students did not answer Lina's question. You, on the other hand, with slightly trembling hands, undressed from the waist up and sat on the stool. Your friend even gave you a pillow to make you more comfortable. 

"Great, push your breasts out a little more and..." Lina began to correct your positioning. "Perfect! Okay darlings, you can begin." 

The group of students got down to sketching. You swept your eyes around the room. Everyone was focused to make the best possible representation of your body. Lina walked among the students and glanced at their progress. 

Time passed quickly. The students worked in silence. None of them had spoken a word since they entered the room. They were focused on the task at hand. 

One of the men present in the room caught your attention. You had never seen such a handsome man before. He had noble features, his hair was slightly longer and black. He had an earring under his eyebrow, and a black leather jacket perfectly framed his body. 

You swallowed your saliva. The man looked like a prince, and there was plenty of finesse and elegance in his movements. You honestly couldn't take your eyes off him. There was something about him that attracted you to him, something magnetic that you could not describe in words. 

The man in question noticed your gaze. It was as if he sensed that you were looking at him. He raised his gaze slightly, looking deeply into your eyes, and gently raised his eyebrow. You felt a blush appear on your face and your throat suddenly became dry. A strange feeling welled up in your lower abdomen as he smiled slightly and winked at you. 

"All right my dears. Let's take a break for a while." Lina suddenly announced, breaking the silence that had prevailed. "Let's let Y/N stretch her legs.... Come back here in 15 minutes and we'll continue." 

The students put down their sketches and began to leave the room for the break, and Lina handed you a sweatshirt to cover yourself. She smiled warmly at you in the process. 

"Well? Not so bad, huh?" She asked. 

"It's fine... Although I was stressed." You replied and took a sip of water. "Your students aren't very talkative, are they?" 

"As artists are." 

"I thought there would be more students in the room." You said, sipping water again. 

"Nah, I have a small group. But they are the best of the best.... You could say it's such a VIP class." Lina laughed. "You know, it's an extra class for the more ambitious ones." 

"Oh, now I understand..." You nodded, and your thoughts fled to the mysterious boy with an earring under his eyebrow. 

"Would you like to take a peek at the sketches? The students really sketched your body very well..." Lina took one sketchbook in her hand, belonging to the boy you were looking at. "Oh look, Hyunjin did it the best. That boy can perfectly render every detail.... He's my top-of-the-class student." She smiled proudly. So the boy's name was Hyunjin. 

"Wow... This is amazing." You said, sincerely impressed by the way Hyunjin rendered all the details. He even sketched the delicate birthmark you had under your breast. 

"Right?" Lina asked. "If you ask Hyunjin nicely, he might give you his sketch..." She winked. "He has a real talent, and by the way he looks like Aphrodite herself conceived him. He could be a model, but there's a rule at the university that students can't pose, which is a shame..." She sighed quietly. "I myself sometimes wish I could see..." 

"Lina! This is your student..." reprimanded your friend. 

"I know, that's why I leave some things only in dreams." She laughed quietly. "Hungry? I'll get you something to eat." As she said, so she did, quickly leaving the room.

You sighed softly and your stomach growled. Not eating breakfast before leaving was a mistake. You glanced at your watch. The break was slowly coming to an end and your friend had not yet returned with the promised food. In turn, students slowly began to return to the room.

"Hungry?" You suddenly heard a voice behind you. You turned to look at the owner. In front of you stood Hyunjin, who was a head taller than you. He smiled slightly and handed you a banana. "Eat... you've got another 2.5 hours of sitting ahead of you."

“T-Thank you…” You said, taking the banana from him and peeling it right away.

"You welcome... I wanted to say that you have really beautiful breasts." He said, looking you straight in the eye. "I can't wait for the next few days to see the rest."

"Oh thank you?" You replied slightly confused and blushed slightly.

"Nothing." Hyunjin winked at you. 

"Okay, guys! We can get back to work!" Lina called as she entered the room. "Y/N, please sit down the same way you sat before. Perfect! Remember, there are 2.5 hours left until the end of time. At the end of the day, you should have at least five sketches."

Everyone went back to work. The banana Hyunjin gave you, calmed your stomach for a while. You sighed quietly, sitting half-naked on the stool. Honestly, you were counting down the minutes until the end. 

Every now and then you found yourself staring at Hyunjin, who was working intently on the sketches of your body. You couldn't take your eyes off him. He was too handsome to resist. You didn't even feel that time had passed quickly. 

Lina announced the end of class and let you get dressed. Students slowly began to file out of the room. You watched them leave, saying a quiet 'goodbye'. Your friend approached you after everyone else had left the room."You were great today." She grinned. 

"I'm taking you to dinner, come on! And mentally prepare for tomorrow. We'll show them a little more... Can you handle it?"

"Yes, I think I can... Although I don't know if I want to show them everything." You started.

"Well, tomorrow's plan is legs... you can have a thong, we'll move on to the private parts at the end of the week, and next week we'll have poses... Well, I think you should be able to handle everything easily." Lina continued.

“Mhm, if you say so…” You muttered. The prospect of showing your private parts to students didn't make you feel optimistic, but when you thought about Hyunjin, it didn't sound so bad either...

—-------------------

The week flew by very quickly. The students tried to accurately portray all the details of your body on paper. On Friday, the last day of the first week, there was a class on sketching 'private body parts', as Lina called it. And that meant you had to show your vagina. 

The thought of this did not fill you with any optimism at all. You didn't want to expose yourself so much in front of the students, but Lina forced it on you. To be fair, she did suggest that she would pay you more for the day, so with a slight hesitation you agreed. 

You sat in the room wrapped only in a silk dressing gown and waited for the class to start. Your friend went to talk to the dean, leaving you alone. You sighed quietly and stuck your gaze into your phone, trying to calm your thoughts. 

Hyunjin entered the room, but you were so busy with your social media that you didn't notice his presence. The boy walked over to his stand and unpacked all the necessary items before turning towards you. 

"Hi pretty." He said in a velvety voice, snapping you out of your activity. "What are you going to show us today?" He asked and winked slightly. 

"Ekhm... Private parts." You replied feeling a little intimidated, looking up at him. 

"And you're convinced about that?" He asked. "You look confused and scared." 

"Well, it's certainly quite a step out of my comfort zone.... But I can't back down now." You answered honestly. 

"I understand... If it's any comfort to you, I'll try to replicate everything very accurately." He smiled.

"Thanks I guess..." She grunted. "I've seen your work before. You have great talent," he said. 

"Thank you, beautiful." He smiled warmly at you. "But the credit goes to the model I sketch." He winked, and a blush appeared on your cheeks. "It suits you this colour, you know? I wish I could paint a picture of you. In a red see-through nightgown.... What do you think?" 

"A painting?" You blinked, not expecting such a proposal. "I don't know..." 

"I have to create a portfolio for the final exam.... I've already painted three paintings of my friends, but I still have one left. And you are beautiful. I'll pay." He replied, watching your reaction. 

"I have to think about it..." You replied, but didn't finish the sentence because he walked in on you in mid-word. 

"I understand." He replied and wrote something down on a piece of paper. " Here, this is my phone number, if you make a decision, just text me..." He handed you a small piece of paper with the number on it. "Just don't make me wait too long for an answer, lovely." 

"R-right." You replied and hid his number in a safe place. 

The rest of the students entered the room, along with your friend, who smiled broadly at you. She welcomed the students and gave them the guidelines for the assignment. 

"Well Y/N. Sit with your hands behind your back and push your chest forward a little too. And spread your legs..." She said to you and helped you adjust your position. "My dears, you may begin. "

Sitting apart in front of a group of people has not been one of the most comfortable activities in your life. However, you didn't pay much attention to it yourself. Your thoughts were consumed with Hyunjin's proposal. Should you accept it? He said he would pay, and so far there was no indication that you would find a job.... 

You decided to give it a chance and agree to his proposal. After all, it's just another day's work as a "model." You survived a whole week in front of students, you'll survive being alone with Hyunjin too. 

Before you knew it, the class was over and the students had left the room, and you were free to get dressed. Lina was still talking to individuals while you typed Hyunjin's number into your phone. You made up your mind and as soon as he left the room, you texted him. 

[Y/N]

Ok. I agree.... When do you want to do it? ~ Y/N

[Hyunjin] 

Wonderful news sweetheart! Let's meet tomorrow evening at my place. Remember, red nightgown 😘

 He wrote back almost immediately. You swallowed your saliva. What are you actually doing? 

—-------------------

The next day you went to the address Hyunjin sent you in a text message. You were stressed. You didn't know what it should look like or how long it would take. Your body trembled and your mind wandered into dangerous territory. You felt both apprehension and excitement about the whole situation. 

You stood in front of the door of his apartment. You took a few deep breaths and knocked gently. You waited, listening for the sound of footsteps. After a while, the young man opened the door for you and let you in with a smile. 

"I'm glad you agreed." He said, taking over your coat from you. "Make yourself comfortable... Would you like something to drink before we start? Coffee? Tea? Water? Maybe wine?" 

"Water is enough... Although I won't actually despise wine either." You replied and timidly entered his living room. 

The room was large, definitely bigger than your friend's entire apartment. Not surprising, after all, Hyunjin lived in one of the more expensive neighbourhoods in your city. The white leather furniture, laced with gold accessories, perfectly matched the aura that this man was producing. Everything seemed truly royal. 

"Wow." You gasped in awe. 

"Do you like it? My parents made sure I was comfortable in the city.... Would you like a tour of the apartment?" He asked, handing you a glass of red wine. 

"I'd love to... If I can, of course." You accepted the drink from him and took a sip. 

The boy showed you his entire apartment. He had three bedrooms, but he had transformed one into a studio, and the other was used as a dressing room. 

"Okay, ready for us to start?" He asked as you walked through the apartment.

"I think so." You replied hesitantly.

"Great!" He smiled broadly. "Come on, I'll paint you in the studio... I'll get everything ready and you can go and change in the bathroom. Leave when you're ready. It'll take me a while to paint though... It'll take all weekend, actually. But like I said, I'll pay. $1000 is enough?"

"H-how much?" You were stunned when you heard the amount he gave.

“If it's not enough, just tell me…” He replied, watching you.

"Not enough? I didn't expect it to be so much..." You started. "It's too much…"

"Hmm... I don't think so." He shrugged. "We'll talk about it later... You can go change in the bathroom now and I'll set everything ready here." He said, unimpressed.

“Sure…” You replied and headed to the bathroom.  $1000 to pose? You were shocked. How much money does this young man actually have? 

After a few minutes you were ready. You looked at your reflection in the mirror. You were wearing a slightly see-through red nightgown that hugged your body perfectly and highlighted all your curves. You decided to leave your hair down, but you put a small decoration in it. You fixed your delicate makeup and went out to Hyunjin.

"Wow, you look amazing." He said as soon as he noticed you. "Like I said, this colour suits you very well."

"Thank you." You replied, slightly embarrassed.

"Okay, you can lie down." He pointed to a small sofa in the center of the room. "I would like you to lie down comfortably, and if you want to sleep, just close your eyes. The only thing that matters is that you stay in the position I put you in."

“Sure, I can do it…” You replied and followed his directions. You settled into a comfortable position on the sofa and Hyunjin stood over you. He leaned down gently and positioned your body. His touch was pleasant. You felt the nice warmth radiating from his body.

"Perfect." He said and smiled contentedly. "Okay, let's get started. If you want a break then say so." 

Hyunjin began to paint. You lay there without moving, watching his every move. You began to wonder how it was that your life had brought you to the point where you were. 

Hyunjin painted in concentration, and there was silence between the two of you. You didn't seem to mind. You felt your eyelids become heavy and you didn't even know when you fell asleep. 

You woke up after some time and stretched slightly. It was already twilight outside. You looked around the room you were in. Hyunjin was nowhere to be found. You stood up and stretched your stagnant body again. You were curious to see how Hyunjin's progress was going, but before you could get closer to the painting, the door of the room opened. 

"Oh, you're awake already." Hyunjin smiled slightly. "Hungry? Come, I've prepared dinner." 

Only when the boy mentioned food did you feel that you were actually hungry. You followed him into the kitchen, where delicious smells were coming from. 

"You are handsome, you paint and you cook. Is there anything you can't do?" You asked, sitting down at the table. Hyunjin glanced at you laughing. 

"Thank you for the compliment, beautiful." He winked, at which you blushed. He served you dinner and you began to eat. 

"Enough with the painting for today, it's late." Hyunjin said. "If you want, you can stay the night.... We'll start again first thing tomorrow morning anyway." 

"I don't want to get..." You started. 

"But that's not up for discussion." He interrupted you in mid-sentence. "It's late, I don't want you to go home when it's dark outside.... I'll prepare a bed for you." 

"Hyunjin, but really..." You started again but his one look left you unsure what to say next. "Okay. I'll stay the night." 

"Great." He smiled at you. "Come on, I'll give you something to sleep on..." 

" You know, after all, I can sleep in what I'm wearing." You replied while watching him. 

"Believe me, if you stay in this red nightgown, I won't hold back."  He replied with full seriousness. 

"Oh..." You made a sound. " All right..." 

You followed him to his dressing room, which occupied the other room. Hyunjin walked over to a cabinet and pulled out an oversized hoodie and handed it to you. "It should fit." He smiled slightly. 

"Thank you." You replied with a slight smile. "I'll take a shower." 

Hyunjin nodded and you parted the rooms. You went to the bathroom to take a quick shower, and a pleasant feeling once again settled in your lower abdomen. Hyunjin, on the other hand, was in the bedroom preparing a place for you to sleep. 

After some time, you came out of the bathroom in his hoodie. You could smell his perfume lingering on his clothes. You smiled slightly, to yourself. His scent was so soothing. 

"Do you like the smell?" You suddenly heard his voice behind you, at which you jumped slightly. 

"Y-yes." You stuttered, at which the boy smiled. 

"I have to say, no matter what you're wearing, you're every bit as beautiful." He said, walking closer to you. "I like you Y/N." 

"Thank you, I guess..." You took a gentle step back unsure of where this conversation was leading. 

"When I say I like you, I really mean it." Hyunjin leaned slightly over you and brushed lightly against your waist. You swallowed your saliva as you looked straight into his eyes, your back resting against the wall. Hyunjin was leaning with his hand right next to your head and his body was leaning against yours. You bit your lip slightly and gently moved your legs, feeling yourself slowly getting wet. The situation you found yourself in was definitely not on your bingo card. 

"Hyunjin, we don't..." You began, trying to keep up any semblance of a smile yet. However, his closeness and magnetic scent were too tempting to resist. 

"Shhhsh." The boy moved his thumb over your swollen lips. "You don't even realise how sexy you look right now." He whispered in your ear while biting your earlobe, which was met with a quiet sigh that left your lips. You felt his gentle smile as he moved closer to your neck and gently moved his velvety lips across it. "You like it." He stated, observing your reaction to his touch. "I wonder if you'll like this too." He added and moved his hands a little lower, slipping them under the hoodie. 

"Hyunjin, it's not..." You started, but feeling his long fingers glide across your skin, leaving goosebumps on it, you were unable to control your senses. Hyunjin's lips attacked your neck more boldly, and you tilted your head further back so he could have better access. 

Hyunjin glided his lips along your neck looking for weak spots, and once he found them, he immediately started leaving red hickeys in those spots, which was met with your moans of approval. 

You rested your hands on his torso, and the young man delicately lifted you up, grabbing your buttocks. You put your legs around his waist as his lips found their way right to yours. 

"I want you." He whispered, brushing his lips lightly against yours. "And I know you want me too. Say it." 

"Please." You said quietly. 

"You're asking? For what?" He asked backing away slightly which was met with your disapproval. 

"Kiss me, please." You moaned pleadingly. Hyunjin smiled at you and pressed his lips into yours. His kiss was firm and forceful, but that's what you liked best. You moaned blissfully into his mouth as he grabbed your buttocks tighter. Hyunjin took this as a sign of approval and carried you to his bedroom. 

Hyunjin put you on the bed immediately, finding himself above you. His knee came between your legs pressing lightly on your spot. He leaned over a little more and cupped your hoodie with his hands. 

"You are phenomenal." He said, watching you. His hands moved over every bare patch of your body, exploring every inch of it. Following his hands, Hyunjin placed you on the bed immediately finding himself over you. His knee came between your legs pressing lightly on your spot. He leaned over a little more and cupped your hoodie with his hands. His hands moved over every bare patch of your body, exploring every inch of it. His hands were followed by his lips, which also explored your body. He left wet footprints in his path, interspersed with huge hickeys. 

You moaned blissfully when his lips found their way to your lower abdomen. You felt his smile against your skin. Hyunjin gently spread your legs and moved his hand over your core. Your reaction encouraged him to continue. 

He bit lightly on the inside of your thighs, which was met with your slight jump. His strong hands, however, held your body as his mouth took up your pussy, embracing it completely. 

You moaned loudly and slid your hand into his hair. You pulled his hair gently as his tongue penetrated your insides, melting with pleasure. 

Hyunjin drove you to pleasure, and your body arched in an accompaniment of moans. The young man licked and returned his lips to your mouth, kissing you. You immediately responded to his kiss, hungry for his velvety lips. 

Your hands moved over his body. You wanted to get rid of his clothes as quickly as possible. Hyunjin laughed quietly. 

"So eager, huh? Patience darling, be good and you'll get what you deserve." He said amused and helped you undress himself. Once he was standing naked, you moved your hands over his penis, which was already ready for use. "I don't have condoms..." The boy began. 

" Doesn't matter, I want to feel you, now, right now, please!" You moaned needily. 

"I like the way you are asking." He snarled quietly and slid his full length into you. 

"Oh yes!" You whined loudly and moved your hands down his back as he began to move. 

His movements became faster and less precise. He went deep, perfectly attacking your g-spot. Your and his moans filled the entire room.

"Hyunjin! I…" You started digging your nails into his soft skin.

"Come on baby, cum for me." He groaned loudly. "Fuck!"

"I'm cumming!" You moaned loudly, clenching around him. 

A few seconds later, you felt warmth spreading through your insides. Hyunjin collapsed on top of you after a moment, his head resting between your full breasts. You were both breathing heavily.

“You are my muse." He murmured after a while. "Be my muse forever?"

"With pure pleasure." You replied quietly, gently stroking his back, making him smile.

"You know what? You are the FINE art." He said. "My muse."

And After an eventful night, you both fell asleep cuddling together.

-> Masterlist

[tarjapearce]

Mi Dulce Cereza (Pt. 7)

Ranchero! Miguel O'Hara x Reader

WARNINGS: Telenovela coded drama, emotional distress, Strained Relationships, unexpected visits, mild angst, relationship building, fluff towards the end, Miguel being a softie for his wife.

Summary: Even in darkest times, love shines through.

A/N: Hope you like it :') .

Intro:

"It's your fault." Rosaura's venomous tone didn't go unnoticed by her husband.

"My fault?! I did nothing but raise her well in the Lord's path. I didn't spoil her. If anyone here is at fault is you."

William's voice was ever serene, but his words were vitriolic.

"Me?! How dare you say such things!"

Once back home with empty hands there was nothing but more chaos. Blame turned into a hot potato game of who was the culprit of your apparent rebellious phase. Neither of them wanted to assume that none other than unrealistic and absurd expectations from them towards you had been the spark that started your emancipation fire.

A fire that was shining too brightly for their likings, consuming everything they had known and had taught you. Appearances were unable to be kept any further as your mother was confronted by her friends. Asking her if the rumors of you eloping with the farmer boy were true. It would be always a:

"That wicked man manipulated my daughter. We are trying to get her back, but his lies are convincing enough to keep her by his side."

or a "I'm sure he has her against her will, my little dove would never run away like that. I know her!"

But never a truthful He got her pregnant, claims to love her and now they live in their own home away from this mess trying to live honestly.

The rumors of you getting pregnant had made them another mirror to the single youngsters in town . Rosaura could hear the people talking ill about you and them. How they didn't work hard enough to keep you on check, how they never were firmer and stricter in your upbringing, and how they had been too stupid to actually let the devil in their own home and corrupt you.

It was enough shame to convince her husband and start looking for you. She had been embarrassed enough thanks to your naive games of love. And Miguel.

Her mouth scowled in disgust, heart heavy with resent. He would definitely pay. How dared he to lay his sinful eyes on you? How dared he to lay with you? Even worse, How dared he to take you for himself, impregnated you and call you his wife?

Bold and stupid.

Miguel had ruined her plan of getting you married off to a rich and wonderful man named Sergei Kravinoff. One of the best foreign clients the estate had. He was an avid hunter and collector, that upon seeing your picture was delighted and charmed.

But how was she to explain to him that her only daughter had ran off with the farmer boy? And was now pregnant with his child?

"If you wouldn't pester her with so many dating prospects maybe this... whole mess would have been avoided and she'd be under our roof. Following our rules!"

"Would you shut up?! You let that lowlife to intimidate you. I don't care if he's build like a tree. I want him down, chopped off from the root from her life."

"He's clearly done something to her. Did you see her yelling at us? I'd never seen her like that."

"Hormones make you stupid. And pregnancy hormones make it even worse"

"Just like you when you were pregnant of her. At least he will suffer a little more with that. Once she reaches the second trimester-"

"No no. that's where you're wrong. I won't let her to ruin her life. Sergei wants her!"

"I will have to stop you there, Rosaura. A child life is sacred. Innocent."

"Oh, the wretched child you're always complaining about is now an innocent life?"

"Don't tempt my ire, woman. I know you despise the man. And as much as this situation angers us, that's going too far. That's her punishment for giving in temptation. Let her bear with it."

"You're such an hypocrite. Do you know who Sergei is?"

"I do. Nor care. All I want is my daughter back. There are other ways to break them apart."

"What are you thinking?"

"Confronting them only brings them closer. I fell for her lie of loving him for a minute, but I know it's fear speaking for her. We'll let them be for now."

"No!-"

"And just when they think they are safe, it will be the time for us to step in. Let them have a little sense of security. I'll allow them to finish the place."

"You are waiting too long!"

"Rosaura. Enough. I know what I am doing. I know you hate waiting. But it will be worth it. I know so. Can't let the man that embarrassed me and my family, and tarnished my reputation to go unscathed with my daughter."

"You better keep your promises, William. I hate being lied to."

------

Miguel could barely get a glimpse of sleep during the night. Just when he thought his body would actually give in to the somnolence, he'd startle and remain awake. Pushing the sleepyness away as his mind raced with the many insidious thoughts about last night.

How had your parents found you? With their influence he was sure that they've got the address, they were known through the whole county by their horses business mainly, church was a secondary feat.

His hand ran through his messy hair. You had been put to sleep by Victoria, something he was thankful for. He was no baby expert but it was a commonly known fact that too much stress led up to bad things, and the least he wanted was something else happening. Specially to you or his child.

What had he gotten himself into, this time? He knew your parents were difficult, but this was something completely different from what he expected. He was not only dealing with them, but their direct threats as well.

Not that he wasn't regretting everything that had happened between you two. Had he been too rushed into marrying you? Of course not. He also didn't marry you because you'd be the future mother of his child. He had snatched you away for himself because he loved you. He loved you to bits and pieces and as a whole.

You were too much of a woman to be married to someone else that would treat you badly and wouldn't take his time to actually get to know you. You were too much for the rest of men that never made a step further in their conquer and we're satisfied with little, such as little glances or smiles from you.

He was ambitious, and had wanted it all. He went through so much to get you, still was. But knowing you loved him and even stood your ground against your parents, one of the reasons of his ongoing headache, made it all worth it.

He couldn't quite explain it. At first it was mere lust his body was filled with upon meeting you. The need to corrupt you had proven extremely difficult for him to keep himself at bay. That's why he was always so tempting, so forbidden, so inviting to give in around you.

But you were too sweet and pure. Always being concerned about him, ever attentive and gentle. A stark contrast with his demeanor. He had taken the job since his place needed renovations once and for all. He owed that to himself. He owed that to his old man. Vicky's late husband.

And then he had met you, for real. At first he thought of you another gorgeous spoiled, and dumb city girl if he was honest, but as time kept on passing, he was proven wrong in so many ways he felt the need to apologize to you as soon as you'd wake up later.

You were smart, not a genius but smart enough to be a fast learner and help your father with the finances, heavenly cooking skills and so eager to be more than a bimbo wife, a life most of your old friends had settled for. You had gone to college, just like him. You cared for those around you even if that meant to face your mother, just like him. You both were so alike in so many ways it'd be foolish to let you go.

What got him grovelling at your feet was your innocence and your will to make something out of your life even if your parents sabotaged you. The strength in you, the perseverance and hard work you had shown him even to this very day was the deal maker. And soon enough you'd make him a father.

You weren't only making his most precious dream come true, but were in tandem helping in making your love nest.

Investing all of your energies in building your forever home. Your own sanctuary and safe place with him.

And now it was his time to protect you, to stood his ground like you had done for him.

The room was filled with a warm and golden orange and yellow hues, basking the place in a gentle light, as if the universe was telling him 'Everything will be fine'. A hopeful thought to his already rattled mind. He was exhausted.

Exhausted of hiding and running away only to be harassed later. But that wouldn't stop him from working, no. There was still so much left to do around the hacienda.

With a deep breath he looked your way. A small tug on his heart sent a painful stab kn his chest at your expression. Frowning brows, hands clutched to the sheets and pillows, probably pretending it was him and puffy eyes that served as proof of your cries last night.

Your rage was something else. It made his tired smile to soften into a more admiring one. He hoped to never face it, cause he was sure he'd be on his knees, asking for forgiveness if you wished, even if it was over something so silly and irrelevant.

With a soft croak, you stirred and he embraced you gently. You were scared and asking for him last night, something he regretted to not have fulfilled sooner. But you and his child's safety was the main priority.

He'd have to talk to Joseph and Paco about new rounds done through the day. He couldn't install the safety cameras yet cause his area would take a lot to cover and it wasn't finished yet. If only he'd have some sort of superpower to make everything faster.

But the only power he had right now was to provide comfort to your heart and head. He'd die before something happening to you.

A mental slap came to his mind upon such though. If he died there was none else to look after you.

Even his mind needed a break. Birds chirped merrily, announcing the six am. But his body felt heavier and more sluggish than usual, his mind unclear as a fog came over his thoughts. He wasn't used to pull all-nighters. You turned on your side and curled in his chest, finally taking a hold of him. Eyes fluttered open, relief etched to your features.

Your arms embraced him so desperate it quickly had your eyes all glossy and teary again.

"Hey..." He mumbled with a lip tight smile.

You sobbed in his cradling arms.

"I'm so sorry, Miguel."

A gentle shhh came from him. His calloused fingers ventured through the strands of your hair, caressing with such care he'd thought you'd break.

"Why are you apologizing, cariño?"

"For everything that happened last night. You don't deserve this."

"Last night wasn't good for anyone, you specially, mi amor. But you are safe here. "

"It's not about that... I'm... scared. My father knows where we live now. And he could-"

"Cerecita, mi reina. Look." He sat on the bed and took a hold of your hand, to then kiss softly at the back of your palm, "Your father can make all the threats he wants, hell... He can even tear this place down if he wants to, but he won't take me away from you."

Your hand trembled in between his. You wanted to sit, but he laid back again, draping the sheets closer to you, making sure you were warm. Like a cocoon in his arms.

"It's not about that. You don't understand Miguel. My father is a man of word-."

"So am I." His fingers grazed your cheek softly, "I promised you that we'd be happy. And we will. I don't know how and I know it's scary for us, but as long as we are together, we will."

"I don't want you to get hurt. I... I couldn't stand something happening to you just cause my parents are too petty to acknowledge I married you."

"The only thing that would kill me? Is you leaving through that door and never come back. "

The sheer thoughts brought tears to your eyes. Hormones had also woken up to make a riot on your mind.

"Don't say that, please."

He kissed the top of your head and stared down at you.

"I know this is far from over, and trouble might keep coming. The only thing I am asking from you, is to stay strong. Can you do that for me, preciosa?"

"I can try"

"Good. That's all I'm asking, really. If you're strong, I'm strong."

You gave another silent sob while he peppered your face in gentle kisses. Soothing your worries away.

But he was scared too. Not a childish sort of fear, but something deeper. He knew that your parents were dense, if not denser than water itself. And would try things to keep you on edge, or worse try and mess with his estate.

Fear tactics won't make him lower his head and coward. Not when his pregnant wife was next to him crying, stressing and feeling guilty. Your fingers however traced his face gently, his tired lids drooped, as his eyes stared at you, curious yet fearful.

"Did you get some sleep?"

He chuckled bashfully, "I look that rundown?"

"No. But you do look tired. You're not used to stay up past twelve."

A tired and airy chuckle flared out his nose, his fingers took yours to then kiss the knuckles.

"I know."

Sleepiness had weighed him down completely, body made out of lead and muscles sore. Begging him to catch a break and sleep.

"You'll get grumpy" your hand slipped away from his and went to his face again, caressing and holding onto him. Grounding his wandering thoughts towards you. Anchoring himself in your loving and preocuppied stare.

"You need sleep. I'm sure Vicky will understand. Please?"

"Can't say no to you."

Doting arms embraced his neck, pulling him closer to your chest, it was your turn to protect him. He was always making sure you had everything, that you were alright. A giver by nature.

Just like you. This time you assured he'd cuddle in your chest, sharp cheeks rested on your mounds, ear pressed against you; allowing the steady beats of your heart lull him to sleep while you played with his hair.

Vicky didn't knock the door to awake you.

-----

You both awoke around 11 am, past breakfast. Vicky had instructed the construction workers where to keep building, guiding them in Miguel's absence. Victoria knew the plans her son had, so it was relatively easy to give orders. Some days more and the barn would be completely ready to then move to fencing properly the land.

It was a bit more money, but after much thought, a vynil fencing would be perfect. It not only offered privacy, but the chances of someone sneaking in would be less than 0, unless you knew the property like the back of one's hand.

To your dismay you had only seen the first part of it. If Miguel wished, he could start selling his own produce in the farmer's market. But right now, the soil was covered in weeds, and other invasive plants and thickets. It would be the final part of the renovations.

Vicky knocked the door, Miguel opened to reveal his mother with trays of food and some tea for you. She had heard the retching from the outside door. Stress was making your morning sickness worse and having an empty stomach didn't help either.

"Got you some things that will help you, and you too."

Vicky beckoned Miguel to help her, The little coffee table inside the room was used as support, brunch was served.

"Thank you Vicky" She patted your shoulder gently, as she served some flowery smelling tea.

"Don't you worry about it. You're making me a grandma soon."

The sweet smell and taste of the steamy liquid made your stomach settle gradually. Then you started eating with ferocious appetite. Miguel had his big cup of coffee, and ate as well, but his appetite was little.

Vicky smacked the back of his shoulder softly.

"Deja de preocuparte y come." (Stop over thinking and eat.)

Your hand slid into his and squeezed.

"Miguel?"

"Hm?"

"I'm scared too. But I also know that having us demoralized and afraid won't do good for us."

He pulled you closer and kissed your head for the umpteenth time, comfort and love were words you could use if you'd get asked what his hugs felt like. Despite his rough and cold demeanor he was one of the sweetest and gentle man you had ever encounter, even if his actions spoke volumes for him.

His head remained out of his hat, the piece had suffocated him enough through a good chunk of the previous night.

"That's exactly what those cabrones want. No offense, dear"

You chuckled and shook your head.

"Vicky is right. Whatever comes, we will face it together. As a family."

His eyes softened as you placed his hand on your belly.

"One day I'm sure this will be one of those stories you'll tell your kids when they get older and wanna know about family drama"

Miguel couldn't help but snort at Vicky's insinuation. But deep down he felt grateful. Thankful enough that two of the most important people in his life were reassuring him. His devoted and short tempered mother, a crucial part of his heart and now you and his growing child. All around him, promising they'd all be fine.

He needed to believe it. This wasn't one of the moments he was allowed to flank. He needed himself strong, steady with his head high. Ever vigilant and ready to face everything that came his way. He was an O'Hara. And O'Hara's endured.

That was his own mantra, bestowed and honored by previous generations.

The brunch and Victoria's presence had helped you both to ease the rising nerves and the subtle anxiety that undermined your head with unhealthy and raucous thoughts. Instead, even if a temporary distraction, work in the estate kept going. After all, it would take so much more than just a threat to break your spirits.

---

Miguel had tended to the barn and foresaw the fencing advance. Construction materials would be brought over the weekend to immediately start making his private property even more secluded, away from prying eyes and anyone stupid enough that tried to venture within the hacienda.

And after yesterday's fiasco, Miguel had come up with a new plan about security rounds until the fencing started. Just as he was about to explain, Joseph called him, a bit concern etched into his face.

"What now?"

"It's not the people from yesterday, but they claim to know your wife, Boss."

"How many of them are there?"

"Just three. Two women and a man."

He nodded and put his hand on his neck, trying to ease the tension that refused to leave his body despite the many attempts of cheering his spirits up.

"Where's my Cerecita?"

"Uh, with Vicky in the orchard."

"Right. Stay here in case there's trouble."

Joseph nodded and stood his ground, as he watched Miguel leaving.

Who would be this time? He wasn't armed this time, so whoever that had ill intentions with him would have to face the might of his fists.

But the silent threat remained as nothing but that. The only noises around were him, the gravel crunching underneath his boots, the subtle wind that played tag between the trees, little birds here and there and finally, the voices of people he knew, but didn't remember their names or faces .

A cool gust of wind threatened his hat to be blown off his head, but he secured it with a hand. Upon arriving, his surprise couldn't be hidden.

The two ladies were the one that helped you pack and were deeply saddened at your leaving. He always saw them around you, laughing and sharing whenever your mother wasn't around to shoo them away from you. And the man, one of the helpers back at your parent's barn.

"Mr. O'Hara? Im really sorry to bother, and showing up like this after what happened."

One of the women spoke. Miguel was cautious, and so far his intentions of opening the door didn't ring a bell on him. For all he knew your parents could have sent them to spy you.

"We quit. That Rosaura lady slapped my sister and it was enough for us. We were planning on leaving the estate even before the Miss left with ya."

But that definitely sounded something his beloved mother in law would do.

"I know you have zero reasons to believe us, but trust us. None back at the estate really liked the missus's parents either. We could only hold up for so long before everything came down. But we needed the jobs."

"I understand." With a sigh, Miguel opened the door and allowed them in.

A little rounds of thank yous echoed behind him before he guided them back at the main estate.

"Will you let us stay? Just for the night of course. "

"You'll have to talk to La Patrona." (The boss)

He chuckled upon you coming to his mind, "My wife I mean."

A little of hushed yet excited whispers trailed him along some 'I told you!' 'She did it!'.

The reunion was loud as he had expected. Loaded of hugs, heartfelt congratulations and of course them rubbing your belly.

Mary, the big sister was two years older than you, she had been one of the few that approached you with genuine friendship back at home, her sister, Susan was your age, even though she was on the quieter side, she was disciplined enough to keep herself busy and out of trouble. Always doing something. However her eyes kept wandering to Joseph.

They had asked your permission to stay overnight before returning to their hometown the next day. Of course you agreed.

They helped you to prepare everything, letting Vicky to rest for a bit. Even though they had spark, Vicky observed them with hard eyes, trying to decipher their true intentions. And so far she had found nothing. Not even in the man that quickly established a conversation between Paco and Joseph.

And soon all of you sat down at the table that seemed smaller.

"Like I was telling Mr. O'Hara, you mother was livid after you left."

"She was like a child throwing a tantrum, telling Pastor William to do something"

"Yeah, that's sounds like mom" An awkward smile came to your face as they spoke.

"But after last night, it was enough for us. She slapped Susan in the face when she got her the wrong dress."

Vicky couldn't hold back her gasp and contempt

"Dios mío, esa mujer ha enloquecido" (My God, that woman has gone mad)

"I'm really sorry it had to come to this point."

"Ya can't blame yourself, darlin" Mary spoke, letting her southern accent shine through for a second, "Ever since ya left people have been leaving, only to be replaced within some days."

"No wonder why they came in so pissed" You mumbled with a little giggle.

"How's... Agustín?"

Their faces fell and the man, his old helper James spoke.

"Pastor sold him to a guy. Joaquín is kinda sick and Luis, is the only one they actually pay attention to. You know, Joaquín is old so..."

Miguel could only nod with a saddened yet expected smile. It was a matter of time for Agustín to be sold.

"Do you know by chance who he got sold off to?"

"Some russian named Kravi- Uh... Kravinoff?"

"I see." Miguel’s shoulder slumped for a moment. At least he wasn't sent off to the meat market, "Hopefully that man knows how to treat him."

"He seems into animals a bit too much, sir. A bit eccentric with his fur coats. But apparently the man is a collector and the missus's parents best client."

Of course. Agustín was a purebred friesian stallion after all. His worth was over 20k.

You slid a hand on Miguel's thigh comfortingly. His subtle blue mood contagious. A lot of details you both were missing were spilled in the table.

Even though Miguel wasn't one for gossips, hearing your parents struggling to keep the appearances had definitely put a smile on his face. It served them right after all the unhinged things they had done. But he didn't let go that easy the fact that from all the horses remaining, Luis was the only one that was being properly taken care of.

Your horse.

A little hope shone in his darkened by fears heart. He didn't care if he was called a dreamer, but sometimes he pondered how would be his relationship with your parents would've been if they had a completely reaction to him.

Would they tolerate him? Would they be excited for being grandparents? Would they be happy for you instead of being petty and spiteful about it? He didn't know.

And he was tired of thinking over and over. Vicky's words remained closer to his heart.

If isn't your stubbornness, it's your love that will convince them.

But that was a very distant and utopian thought. All that mattered in his present was you and his new growing family.

The guest cabin was taken by the ladies and James joined Paco and Joseph.

Vicky drew you a warm bath to ease the remaining tension off your body. Miguel had been watching you. The changes in your body suited beautifully. Plump breasts, hips and thighs, gorgeous sudsy skin that had some flower petals adhered to it, enhancing it's beauty. You were the purest form of art before his eyes. The mother of his children. His wife.

He marvelled at the way you smiled upon rubbing your belly. The illusion of being a mother surely took you by surprise, but with Miguel's reassurance, you were excited even to meet your child. The ultimate physical form of love between you two.

Puppy and rusty brown eyes fixed on you as you let your hair down, letting the strands to cover your back to wash them next.

He stepped in. With a kiss on your temple and a bashful smile he sat behind you.

"Mira nomás qué chulada." (Look at that, so beautiful)

He pried gently the shampoo bottle off your hands and poured some on his hands to then lather your scalp with it. The lovely smell of cherries wafted in the air as foam appeared in your head while he massaged your scalp adoringly.

You hummed in approval at the careful and soft movements of his fingers. Inducing a relaxed state over you.

"Miguel?"

"Yes, Cerecita?" His voice matching his fingers.

"I don't ever regret marrying you."

His fingers faltered for a moment before resuming his washing. It was as if the doubts on his heart had secretly found a way to your ears and you were now reassuring him.

"You've the best thing that has shown up into that old house. Still are."

"Gotta be thankful to your parents for creating you, preciosa. Unbearable as they are"

The both of you chuckled, ignoring the looming dark skies that blended within the night's mantle.

"I'll take in Mary and Susan. I'm sure they'd be wonderful help around here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I will pay them of my own money I've saved. So don't worry"

"No, no, let me take them in."

"Miguel, all of these renovations are coming off your pocket. We are a team now, I know somehow it will work out. Let me help you."

He accepted his defeat with a little slump in his shoulders and lazy smile.

"Alright, as you wish, mi corazón."

"What do you love the most about me?"

His hands took the bathtub's head shower and rinsed your hair. Water splashing on his skin, like the sudden question.

"Your bravery, empathy towards others and loyalty. And you're drop dead gorgeous too."

Your cheeks warmed up with a little flush on them as he spoke.

"What about you, Cerecita? What does my wife loves about me?"

"Since you snatched the words off my mouth, I'd say loyalty, honesty and resilience." You took his hands in yours, weaving your fingers between his and smiled, "Many would've given up on me at this point because of my parents but..."

Another kiss, "Hearing you calling me your wife makes me all happy and the good kind of dumb. I know we won't have good days, or that we will be far from perfect but, You've taught me so much about myself is wonderful. "

His hands secured yours as another kiss on your temple was given.

"Thanks for not giving up on me, Miguel."

"Thanks for being my wife, Cerecita."

Your smile disarmed him. And that night your wish of being asleep in his arms came true. There was no horrors that lurked in the shadows.

[rosen-dovecote]

@autisticslp asked (on the old blog):

So a lot of cooking advice that people tend to give that seems very basic honestly comes from decades of experience; there's a post that floats around Tumblr sometimes, actually, that talks about how a lot of "cooking from intuition" isn't actually intuition at all. It's deeply ingrained memorization about the "laws of cooking" that we've learned over time, that feel like second nature to us to the point where we no longer have to think about it or physically reference recipes or tutorials anymore.

In essence: We're good at "taking what we have on hand and making a meal of it" because we have a lot of practice! We've built up a skill! A skill you're lacking in. And that's not a bad thing! But it also means that you shouldn't be too hard on yourself because you don't know or can't seem to grasp this stuff that seems so "second nature" or "easy" to a lot of the cooks you know. You're still really new at this! And with various disabilities and mental illnesses, cognitive issues, etc? Of course you're going to struggle harder at it than "most" seem to, to you!

As a secondary aside to that, you mentioned growing up on a farm. But farming and gardening, and the various forms of food preservation that frequently comes alongside small family subsistence farms, is a very different skill set! Knowing what's seasonal in your garden doesn't necessarily inherently translate into cooking it, and building a full meal up from scratch unless you also had someone who had that skill as well to teach you that.

I know my Husband's mom sure as hell didn't. He grew up on a farm like that, and she could can all day ... But Lord. She couldn't cook to save her life. She attempted to impart neither of these skills to my Husband, either ... I grew up on one, as well. But where my mom couldn't can or garden to save her life, she was a damned good cook and imparted those skills to me. Now I'm passing them on to my Husband decades later, because his mother failed to.

What you're ultimately missing is a fundamental set of basic skills, and a knowledge set built up over time and practice. And the good news is, those are really simple skills to learn. The bad news is, it does take a while to learn them and to build up that pool of knowledge. Most of it's experimentation, though, and not a lot of it's super difficult.

For basic knowledge of cooking science and spices, I'd recommend The Science of Cooking and The Science of Spice- both by Dr. Stuart Farrimond. I own both and love them dearly. They'll debunk some common myths, and give you a basic understanding of certain food sciences that are honestly really helpful.

When you feel like you're ready to actually sit down and experiment with spices, I love The Encyclopedia of Spices and Herbs: An Essential Guide to the Flavors of the World by Padma Lakshmi. It has information on various spices, tells you their cultural contexts, mentions what they're usually used on in those contexts (vegetables, which meats, etc), and even gives you some common cultural spice blends (though doesn't provide measurements). It's a thick boy, but it's a really fun one to work through if you have no introduction to spices or idea how to use them.

Past that, something you need to build yourself is a well stocked pantry with staple basics. I can't tell you what those are for you. That's something you have to figure out for yourself based on what you cook, how often, etc. But my minimum has always been at least 2 months worth of food in my pantry at any given time, across a broad enough spectrum that I can pick just about anything out of a recipe and only really need to shop for the fresh or immediate-need ingredients each week.

Staple Grains like Rice, Lentils, Cous Cous, and Quinoa.

Pasta Noodles of various types- like Elbow, Rigatoni, Bowtie, Penne, Fettuccini, and Spaghetti

Potatoes in the form of Mashed Potatoes and Scalloped Potatoes both, as well as a "fresh" bag each of Russet, Yellow, and Red Potatoes

Onions. I keep a mesh bag each of Red and Yellow (or White; whichever's cheapest at the time I'm shopping) on hand at all times.

Boxes of Stock (Chicken, Beef, Vegetable, and Protein Broth when I can find it)

Canned items that I use a lot of, like Diced Tomatoes, Tomato Sauce, Tomato Paste, every kind of Bean (Cannellini, Great Northern, Dark Red, Light red, Black, Pinto, etc), and Chickpeas; plus canned fish (Tuna and Salmon, Sardines, etc)

Condensed Creams Of (Chicken and Mushroom are the two we use most often)

Spices. Of every kind. You literally do not want to see my spice box. It's insane. Yes I'm proud of it. But it would make the average person cry with confusion and fear.

Frozen Veggies in the freezer (Green Beans, Brussel Sprouts, Broccoli, Carrots, Squashes, etc; personally I prefer the frozen to the canned)

I'm sure there's stuff I'm forgetting. But ultimately when you have a full pantry and only have to buy your fresh or immediate-need ingredients? It not only massively saves your grocery bill each week, but it also makes it so much easier to "make things with what you have on hand". Because a large part of the trick is, honestly, having things on hand to make stuff with in the first place. And that's really the big secret that goes unspoken in a lot of circles. But it really shouldn't be an unspoken secret, because it holds so many people back.

Another secret is just knowing basic cooking methods. What is chopping vs dicing? How do you pan fry? What's a dry fry vs a wet fry? What about baking? Broiling? Boiling? What happens if you stew an ingredient instead? How big does it have to be for each of these methods? How does it perform with rice as opposed to cous cous? How is it raw- if it can be eaten raw? Other than that, just knowing recipes is really going to be the big key.

Unfortunately I don't have a recommend for learning any of these ones, since I learned all this the hard way. I do see some cook books that could be useful (like Veg-table: Recipes, Techniques, and Plant Science for Big-Flavored Vegetable-Focused Meals by Nik Sharma; or Vegetables: The Ultimate Cookbook Featuring 300+ Delicious Plant-Based Recipes by Laura Sorkin). I can't personally recommend them, however, because I've never read or used them. But there's a lot of information out there on youtube that can be very helpful, especially for methodology since it's a visual medium- which is, I think, the best way to learn some of these skills in particular.

Personally, I did the recipe thing by looking at cuisines from regions where those foods or ingredients were really popular. So take your Eggplant for example. Eggplants feature a lot in Mediterranean, Levantine, and Middle Eastern cuisines. So when you want to learn how to use Eggplant and build up your knowledge about it? Looking at the people in those regions who use this ingredient a lot already is going to be really helpful to you. They know what they're doing with it!

When you've made those dishes a few times, you're going to get an understanding not only of how to prepare Eggplant for various methods of cooking, and how to cook it for those methods. But you're also going to get an understanding of what flavors pair well with it. And after a while of doing that, you're naturally going to start thinking "what if I do x instead?" and start experimenting on your own. Play with them. Get to know the ingredient on the most foundational level. And yeah, throw some herbs on it if you're comfortable! See what meshes with what flavors. What do you like? And yeah, some of those are going to be flops. But by the time you start thinking "what if" your skills are usually further progressed than you'd think to give yourself credit for. Just ask my Husband, ha!

As for the stuff regarding disability, mental illness, and cognitive function, I gotchu, babe! One of the most distressing things for me when I became disabled, started suffering really bad from cognitive decline, and started dealing with memory loss, was looking at the potential of never being able to cook for myself again. And that scared the piss out of me, because cooking is my joy. And so my Husband and I sat down and prioritized cooking and making it disability friendly for me. Here's some of the stuff we did.

First step: Get your butt a stool that's a comfortable height for your counter height. Once acquired, sit as much as you can in the kitchen. It conserves energy and lets you use more of it to focus your head.

Second: Get yourself all those fun little gadgets you think look interesting or helpful. Personally I have a fruit slicer (that works on more than just apples), a slap chopper microplane thingy, and a few others. Mostly I got these because occasionally my body loses my hands and has no idea where they went and it's safer for me. But I can't tell you how nice they are even when my body knows where my hands are, ha; they speed up prep, keep your fingers safe (usually), and leave more room for the brain to do its thing.

Third: Make as many lists as you can! I have a list on the inside of all my pantry doors of the staples that are in that section. When something needs refilling it allows me to put a mark there so I know to put it on the grocery list. But it also provides a quick reference when my brain's tired; it's so much easier for me to read a list than try and decipher box labels with various colors, font sizes, etc. Make lists wherever you need them and always keep them accessible.

Fourth: The recipe box. Yes. A good, old fashioned, classic recipe box. I have mine filled with tried and true recipes that I know for a fact my Husband and I love, that I know we have at least 90% of the ingredients on hand for at any given moment. So if all else fails and I can't think of anything? I can just go pull something out of the box and have him jot down to the store for anything we don't have.

Fifth: Keep easy meals on stock, because some days you really can't cook. Your brain won't let you, and that's ok! That's fine! But you still gotta eat, right? So we keep stuff like bagged Blackened Chicken Alfredo, Dirty Rice, Mongolian Beef, Jambalaya, Broccoli Beef, Red Beans & Rice, etc, on hand in the outdoor fridge. If at any point I just can't do it? We grab some of those instead.

And the good news is, you can spruce up a quick meal! Making Dirty Rice? Throw in some bread and butter, and a side of boiled Green Beans from the garden. Blackened Chicken Alfredo? Throw some Bell Pepper on in there; you can bulk this stuff up easily with your produce, and it takes even less effort most of the time.

As for the Covid sense of taste / smell? Keep trucking. It does get better; I suffered bad from Post-Covid Parosmia for nearly 2 years after I caught Covid the first time- bad enough to the point I couldn't bathe myself because of the smell of our water being nauseating to me; couldn't eat anything with Corn, or Wheat, or Onion, or Garlic in it for a year, either. the second I tried, my body auto rejected it. Bananas tastes like Iris flowers smelt ... I feel your pain so hard.

But it does get better. Your system is just rewiring itself completely from scratch right now. And Lord, it's so unpleasant. But the more you give it to taste, and smell, the better it does and the faster it rewires itself. Don't force yourself to eat things that are nauseating or unpleasant. But do branch out. Experiment. Even if it tastes left of how you remember it, keep going! I can't promise you'll get everything back (Lord knows there's still some things that aren't quite right for me, even 4 years later now). But it gets better!

I hope any of this helps- even if it's not as helpful if you'd like it to be. Hang in there, love.

[plusvanity]

hii! any thoughts on varg and marie's marriage? 🤔

Lots of thoughts actually.

First of all, let's determine a few simple constructs: Varg is a pathological narcissist and Marie is a victim.

I've heard a lot of people saying that Varg is a psychopath or a sociopath which is simply not true because no psychopath (factor 1 or factor 2) is able to maintain a long lasting relationship/ be in a commitment. This is a fact. Anyone who is willing to open a real book instead of watching trash videos of so-called 'psychopaths in love' will see what the reality of this condition is. End of story.

On the other side, narcissists are capable of commitment. (This is another controversy on its own). In fact, you'd be surprise to know how many narcissists are thriving in a happy marriage because they found their 'perfect person'.

What Varg did in prison was grooming a vulnerable, easily-impressed young woman (underage at that time) into believing that he is the one for her and vice-versa.

He brainwashed her, made her believe in a fantasy that is 'just the two of them against the world' (the shared fantasy), made sure that she will remain loyal and highly dependent on him. This type of abuse is very subtle and very easily to miss or to be confused with 'signs of love' because it doesn't use aggression. She honestly believes that he is the best that she could get and she loves him deeply. I have no doubt about that. She adores him like a husband, a god and a child at the same time (I will dwell into this soon)

When the shared fantasy is established, the non-narcissistic partner will start mirroring the narcissist's behavior and manners. As they mirror one another (to maintain their pseudo-rightness about the world and their own fantasy) they become 'one entity', one voice.

The narcissist swallows their partner's personality entirely, their free will, everything. And he does is in such way that their partner is unable to see the change. It's malicious. Now, I don't think that he does this intentionally, most narcissists are completely unaware of how they manipulate people because it's such an automatic mechanism (that started back in their early childhood) that they don't even think they do something wrong in the first place. They are mentally ill people, NPD is what their brain developed in order to cope with trauma. This is not a justification, this is an explanation.

As I stated, it's very obvious that Marie experiences a very deep kind of love for Varg, but does Varg love her back the same way?

Hard to tell without no solid indicators.

So, if we take Sternberg's theory of love, we can try to figure out what kind of love he might feel.

We know that he is committed, so, by elimination we've got: Fatuous Love, Empty Love, Companionate Love, and the most desirable Consummate Love.

What I'm making is just an assumption, but I'm inclined to believe that initially, he gave her Fatuous Love. Fatuous Love has commitment + passion (erotic component) but lacks intimacy. I'm inclined to this one because of how many kids they made and because narcissists are very very fearful of intimacy. But as the time progresses, it may be possible that his attraction to her moved towards Consummate Love where intimacy is of course present.

Are narcissists capable of reaching Consummate Love? Yes. Is it very likely to happen in a lifetime? No.

In fact, it's extremely rare because what a narcissist is by definition is against this type of love. But once in a million, it happens. Everything is about compatibility and the willingness to let your guard down in front of one person that you know they won't betray you.

Narcissist men have a very black and white thinking (they split) so, when it comes to their romantic partner, they segregate people in two categories: 'Madonna' and 'Whores'.

There's one single Madonna and the rest of the women are Whores. Varg's wife is sacred, above everyone because he made her the ultimate object of his adoration. He 'reprogrammed' her, if you may, to be his dream. While every other females that he comes across online are called degenerated, broken, etc.

He sees Marie like he sees his mother (if you're familiar with the psychoanalysis theory and the concept of the Dead Mother). What narcissists do regardless if they are men or female, they search to reenact their dynamic with their mother and to relive their childhood through their partner. This is of course what Varg does.

Some narcissists go so far that they compete with their own children for their 'mother's love'. I'm not saying that he does that, but it wouldn't be that far-fetched.

Lastly, broken people generate broken children, and this is a fact.

To sum up, he is an absent father figure since he wastes all of his time on the Internet, lives in a bubble with his wife completely disconnected from reality (they cannot face reality), they are both giants hypocrites, enablers (for one another), and they both seek endless amounts of attention for their little to no achievements. She is part of his image, his 'brand', and they both want to portray the image of a perfect, happily ever after family (it's not).

For those still wondering the most obvious aspect, Varg is miserable inside as every narcissist is no matter how much he tries to demonstrate that he is living his best life, which is pathetic and almost pitiful if he wasn't one of the worst humans that walked on earth.

I can tell so much more about Varg as an individual from what he shows, but as always, I keep the best parts for myself only.

Lucky you, it's not often I educate people for free. 🫶🫶

[themoodyestj]

Hello, my beloved.

today i bring you a list of stuff you can try to not be so bitter and miserable all the time.

1. breath slowly, in and out, relax.

2. take a nap

3. eat a cookie

4. listen to some music

5. touch some grass

6. get laid ( if no one wants you, hands and a picture of Dee are valid too!)

7. hug your pet ( or a cactus if you don't have a pet)

8. practice acceptance (Dee is the Queen and you're never going to be her and Jensen is never going to fuck you)

9. find someone you actually like and admire, and fan over that person (not some guy you think is a mediocre actor and a pushover who can't stand for himself and needs idiots from the internet to defend him from his wife)

10. remember that i love you, and this is not hate, just constructive criticism because i want you to be better.

❤️ your secret admirer

Awww, my secret admirer again. :D Does that mean I'm getting flowers everyday now? So happy to see you, honey. Thanks for all the advice, I take them to heart. Although, sadly, I have to say I'm not as bitter or as miserable as you may want me to be. I do have a family, two cats and a dog, and a career. I do get laid quite often and im a fierce advocate of lone intimacy. Super healthy, I do it all. But also, I have an opinion. One that ruffles many many feathers, but in case you didnt notice, I don't quite care. But hey, if it feeds your delusion that all people who disagree with you are sad and lonely, by all means, stick to it. We dont want you having a psychotic breakdown, do we? Lets try to avoid that at all costs. I gotta say, number 8 sent me. We don't all have the same aspirations in life. Perhaps you'd like to sleep with Jensen (cause honey, the projection is strong here) and you use Dee as a heavy self insert, but I honestly dont want to. It is perfectly ok to like someone (and at the same time critique someone) and not want to sleep with them. I know, mindblowing, right? Such a complex concept, Im sure you find it hard to grasp. But just because its hard for you to understand, it doesnt make it less real. I bet a lot is really hard for you to understand, so...

Danneel being a queen? Of what exactly? Honey, I don't want to be her, I wanna be me. Should i aspire to be someone, it would be a woman who in fact has a flourishing career, and not someone whose assets are basically marrying someone. I'd aspire to be someone with talent, inteligence, gumption. Not someone who still rides on the small parts she played in the past because she knows there isnt much really going on for her. Someone who overpriced her pictures at Wales Con expecting to have a great reception only to find a very small line for her and feeling desperate enough to take pics with her kids insteadto feel relevant. You know, Id actually be less critic of her if she was more honest about herself. If she wasnt so fast to take jabs at her own husband when she herself has very little to offer. But hey, if thats your Queen... By all means. She definitely isnt mine. I dont think Jensen is mediocre. I think he let himself go a little. I think he was happier in SPN days and I miss that light, to be honest. Maybe ill see him improve in his next projects and ill be the first to applaud him for that (and ill post about it too, so stay tuned). As of lately... Ive seen a man who plans a concert with no AC, struggling to sing, I see a man who's tense next to his wife, I see a man who seems to be self medicating to cope and that worries me. I do hope he improves, I wish him no harm. But of course this doesnt help your delulu, so i know your brain will totally ommit what i just wrote. Ok, this is all the attention youre getting now. Im starting to think you do actually love me, cause this was fun! You delulus never fail in giving me a good hearted laugh! See you soon, secret admirer!

[yolowritter]

In Offense to Emilie Agreste

Hello there everyone, and- ...okay, put down your pitchforks, I haven't even started yet! Before an angry mob gathers 'round my blog, allow me to explain what today's rant is about. Unlike Lila Rossi, whose existence makes me want to hurl bricks at my screen whenever she appears, Emilie Agreste is actually a pretty interesting character. However, there are things about her (both canon and implied) that have me giving this picture-perfect gal a very intense side-eye. So today I'll be talking about what I think of her character, why I think she could have been written better, why she absolutely isn't a good person, and how the narritive does her a diservice by reducing this poor lass to an insignificant plot device, just so her clinically insane husband can have a reason to bully teenagers in spandex!

Firstly, let's quickly establish what we know about Emilie. I'll explain why I believe anything that isn't directly stated later, now it's just the basics. She and her sister Amelie are coming from a well-off family in England, presumably with quite high standards and expectations. We know little about her early life and it frankly isn't important, but she does at some point take an interest in the creative arts. She firsts meets her husband-to-be Gabriel when she arrives in Paris to further her education, and it's easy to assume they become friends due to similar interests. Then, later down the line, they meet Nathalie Sancoeur, with whom they scour the world to find the Miraculous jewels. After they do find the Butterfly and Peacock in Tibet, they all return to Paris and she creates Adrien Agreste, her son, using Duusu's powers. About twelve years later, she falls ill and "into a deep sleep" because the Peacock Miraculous was broken. This kicks off Gabriel's descent into madness and his crusade as Hawkmoth, which slowly drove him to insanity for reasons seen in this post. But still, this vague timeline leaves us with a lot of questions as to who she was as a person, and how she lived her life.

Before I delve deeper into this, I would quickly want to clarify the sources for the above information. We know from Represenation that Emilie met Gabriel when she went to Paris for educational reasons. I honestly don't remember if her field of study is mentioned, but considering she later stars in Andre's film "Solitude" it isn't hard to derive that said studies could be related. The high expectations from Emilie's family come from the fact that Gabriel had to change his name at some point in life, possibly because Emilie's parents wouldn't accept her marrying some "lowborn". Additionally, we know Amelie's marriage to Colt was arranged, so there definately is a sense of "securing the family lineage" here that exists in what remains of aristocracy today. In Passion, Nathalie is implied to be a treasure hunter of some sort at the time she meets Gabriel and Emilie, though how long she's been at the profession isn't clear. Still, they do work together to find the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculous. We see in Evolution that they are occupying the Agreste Manor with the Peacock in hand, so it's possible they purchased the house either right after their trip to Tibet or before. Other relevant information comes from the thumbnails of Emilie's videos and photos from the Passion episode.

As an aside, Astruc better give us that Tibet special, because I need more Agreste family Lore! These people made their drama the entirety of France's problem and while I respect that, I need to know more! Also, Thomas' quote of "a lot can happen when three people are in close proximity for a long time"? Pretty sure that's from Twitter btw, if you want to look it up. I see you, Thomas...I see you...

Anyway, onto exploring Emilie's themes as a character. From the very start of the show, we have a lot of clues that point to her being an angelic, kind and can-do-no-wrong type of character, at the very least in Gabriel's eyes. There is a whole other topic here about him being obsessed with the past and looking at it with rose-tinted glasses, but I digress. The portrait of Emilie in the atelier, her photo in Adrien's room, and Gabriel's fond remniscing all give us the idea that she was a wonderful, lovely person! In fact, we even get a bit of personallity added to her in the Simon Says episode, where Gabriel tells Chat Noir "you have some of her (Emilie's) flair for dramatics". So of course, she was goofy sometimes, which is a trait we see Amelie share at least a little of in the Felix episode, what with her Elsa-style entrance into the manor. For Season 1, we got plenty of information as to her character, even if we didn't know her name quite yet.

In Season 2 we get more of these examples of her being a wonderful person who is dearly missed, such as the whole plot with the above-mentioned Solitude movie, and Adrien wanting to go see it. Why exactly Parisian cinema is playing this movie in the first place considering what we know about Andre abandoning his career as a director is completely unknown and reeks of a plothole to me, but then again so do half the episodes in general. Point is, from very early on in this show we get a positive perspective on Emilie's character. Sure, there's a lot we don't know about her, but I'm sure her wedding day, her early years with Gabriel, their actual relationship, whatever she had going on with Nathalie, and the whole drama with her parents and later Amelie's husband isn't important...right?

Yeah no I'm not letting her off the hook. Aside from the obvious Adrien stuff that I'll get into in a bit, it seems suspicious to me that nobody can ever come up with anything negative to say about Emilie. And I don't mean a genuine character flaw, even if nobody is perfect, I mean just...something embarrassing? An old joke shared between friends from college, a little detail that sheds light at her sense of humor, even a fond recollection of something silly that happened in her youth. There's nothing. Aside from Gabriel saying she had a dramatic flair, which I will talk about, we know nothing about Emilie Agreste as a person. She barely feels alive, almost existing solely to be the "dead wife" archetype of the show. And okay sure, some of that is the fault of whoever was in the writing room when they try to bring her up. But come on, you're telling me Nathalie doesn't have a single memory or photo in that large stack of recollections that shows her being alive for once?

And of course I don't mean Emilie being literally alive, we see plenty of that. But think back to the photo with Gabriel, Audrey, Emilie and Andre for a second. As an example. I can't recal the exact details, but Emilie is standing to the side, closer to being out of frame than anyone else. In the middle of the shot, the other three seem to be having a good time, but she's only giving a polite, proper smile to her friends. Naturally, not every person out there is extremely expressive, but this is a safe space. Emilie is with close friends and everyone is enjoying themselves, yet her face looks like she came out of a portrait. When I noticed that little detail, I went running to find more. Aside from the videos that she left behind, we've never seen her speak or interact with any character excepting that Evolution scene where she first gets the Miraculous. So can we please think about this logically for a second? What kind of person is Emilie Agreste?

She was born in high society, with a lot of expectations on her shoulders and only her sister for company in her formative years, if Adrien and Chloe's sibling-like bond is anything to go by. And yes that's another post entirely, but they were childhood friends and he had almost nobody else his age to talk to, so I'm drawing a parallel. I won't speculate at all about Emilie's childhood, because frankly it's irrelevant to today's conversation. What I will say however, is that everyone we meet who has interacted with her has fond memories and good things to say about her. And every depiction of Emilie we get, even those not made by Gabriel, she seems to radiate perfection. And that right there is her character's theme. Being perfect. She presumably was the perfect daughter, the perfect (or at least a good enough) student to go to France in order to further her education, so on and so forth. But her family life very much isn't anything close to that. For one, her sister is stuck in an arranged marriage with an abusive a-hole who seems to have been spat directly out of a Texas steretype. There is no indication that Emilie knew about this, but...she also eventually let Colt borrow the Peacock Miraculous to make Felix. Clearly she entrusted Colt Fathom of all people with a magical artifact that can make sentient life, because sure, that seems perfectly reasonable!

Of course signs of abuse are hard to notice even when directly pointed out, but for the purposes of Emilie and Amelie, it seems fundementally against the good, pure and angelic character that Emilie has been presented as to even consider handing Duusu over to Colt. I'm ignoring the issue of Tomoe since that hasn't been explained, but there's clearly something wrong here. And now...now we come to Adrien's home life. We know that he has never been to public school before Origins, which happened only because Chloe enrolled him by the way, and Gabriel does allow him to go at the end of the day. We didn't know at the time, but it does seem reasonable for Gabriel to refuse him completely here, seeing that in hindsight, Adrien's class specifically becomes a hotspot for Akumatizations. But despite this danger, Gabriel still allows Adrien to remain in public school. Additionally, it's completely reasonable to assume that a pre-teen and later teenager would want more freedom to explore the world, and I find it incredibly unlikely that Adrien only expressed this after Emilie keeled over. Surely, this child would have wanted to make friends before then, especially if Chloe would brag about how many friends she has in school, which seems like a thing she would absolutely do to impress him. Sure, that last bit is speculation, but Chloe does act like this all the time in Season 1, so it's natural to consider that she did so before too! The thought of Gabriel being the permissive parent here, and therefore not the one keeping Adrien inside all the time...it really frightens me.

And just to be clear, this isn't a tinfoil-hat "Emilie is secretly evil" theory or anything like that. I'm just saying that she isn't perfect, never has been, and actually made a lot of mistakes during her life. Especially with Adrien. Because doesn't it seem like a loving mother's attitude to want to spend time with her precious son, showing affection and being with him at all times? As a reminder, unless the concept of adoption was never invented in this universe, Emilie Agreste could have just grabbed a child out of an orphanage at any point during her lifetime. But instead, she specifically wanted this one, Adrien. And what does she do to get her precious, perfect baby boy? Why, she scours the entire planet with her huband (possibly to-be) and her definately-not-side-chick Nathalie the treasure hunter to find a magic brooch that gives her the power to make him herself, exactly how she wants! Plot aside for a minute, doesn't that sound a little bit insane to you? The desire to have a child alone wouldn't drive anyone to go to such lengths, and this is assuming she is infertile or has some other problem that a good night under the stars with her pals Gabriel and Nathalie won't fix!

Clearly, Emilie had something very specific in mind when going through all the magical, mystical and half-maddening hoops that she had to go through in order to make Adrien in the first place! She practically dragged her husband and their friend on a worldwide trip just to find some tiny bird goddess stuck in a brooch! Are you reading this correctly? And then after Adrien popped into existence (presumably by being carried to term, etc.) Emilie made sure to shower him with love and adoration. But she also kept him isolated, and secure. This isn't as much speculation as it is just reading between the lines, but Adrien seems constantly awestruck throughout the show when presented with new experiences. Not to mention another disturbing thing, she was put inside the life support pod with Adrien Amok on her finger! That's a huge red flag, right in front of us, but it's been ignored because Gabriel is the one who uses it on-screen. Consider that by the time he does use the Ring, Gabriel is well on his way to utter insanity, considering that Shadowmoth is already unhinged enough to quickly evolve into Monarch once the conditions are right. Gabriel has absolutely no chill when it comes to terrorizing innocent people, or using Adrien's Amok to control him when need be. So why is there an implication of Emilie doing the same when she should have been perfectly sane and not driven to desperation because of a loved one's loss like her husband? Again, go check out this post for a full Gabriel analysis.

I'm not saying that Emilie was evil or crazy or a psychopath or anything of the sort. I'm telling you all that she had control issues. Among all the other stuff we know, and with said information pool being tiny to start with, Emilie Agreste seems so intersting! There should have been a whole plot point about removing the rose-tinted glasses that her death cast down on Gabriel, Adrien and Nathalie! There should have been flashbacks to when she was alive! We should have seen her interact and show love towards Adrien! To her credit, Emilie did see that her death was going to mess with Gabriel's head tremendously, and left him a little video politely asking that he doesn't become an internation terrorist. You know, just as a failsafe. It sure is a shame that she never had that conversation with her husband when she was still awake, or that to our knowledge, never said goodbye to Adrien. The public narrative is that she "disapeared". Are you joking me? Of course Gabriel covered everything up, but this is never adressed!

The writers have a ironically perfect character in their hands! Emilie is a mystery to the audience, she has a complicated relationship with both the show's main villains (Lila doesn't count if she's in barely a dozen episodes), one of the titular characters, and is also literally the reason why the show's events kick off in the first place! But we are shown nothing of her for over one hundred episodes of Miraculous! Even Ephemeral, one of the episodes I hate the most in the whole show, could have given us a glimpse into whatever Gabriel's restructured world would have looked like! It was the perfect oppurtunity for us to see Emilie up on her feet and actually having a role to play, instead of just discount Mrs Freeze! Yes I know her name is Nora, I know it's not the same situation, shush, I'm making a "Emilie is in the basement fridge" joke. The writers and Thomas did this woman so dirty it's not even funny! And I am offended at her, because at the end Emilie serves no purpose than to have Gabriel be "sympathetic" in Season 2! There are a dozen plot threads just dangling around for them to rip out of the ceiling and play with, but Emilie's very existence amounts to absolutely nothing! A gravestone would have served as a better character, because at least there could be something useful writen on it! Some kind of descriptor that gave us any insight into her personality!

But no, she's a blank slate! She's just some gal that showed up, found a magic peafowl and keeled over, ultimately leading to Adrien's sheltered home life, social awkwardness, and mommy issues! Because you cannot tell me that Emilie's parenting, no matter how well-meaning, didn't screw Adrien's early life up! She could have been the best mum in the world and it still wouldn't have mattered, because she considered him her perfect creation! Can you see the irony here? Can you observe the myriad of metaphors and the hundreds of ways this can get included in a story? Does Thomas Astruc and his team want me to have a mental breakdown??? Like, excuse me, honestly excuse me, but the sheer amount of offense I take both on Emilie's behalf and to her utter uselessness in this franchise is astronomical! I love this character! I really do! Wrote a whole alternate backstory for her where she and Nathalie are college roomates and everything! Heck, I love her so much that I did make her into a crazy psychopath in one of my AUs just so she can play a key part in that story as the Hawkmoth-equivilant! My love and adoration for Emilie Agreste reaches the god damned moon and back, but unless she actually has more than ten seconds of dialogue in some kind of flashback or prequel, I will continue to be offended! I'll continue to be pissed! And I'll continue to pray for the day where she becomes more than a practically irrelevant plot device!

Anyway, I need to cool off. I need to have a drink. I need to relax and take a break before making the post in defense of poor Chloe, because she too got shafted by the narritive, just like Adrien's mum. Expect it sometime soon, or at the very least when I'm not going insane over the fact that despite directly causing every major event in this franchise to occur, Emilie Agreste is a bigger question mark than the dude in a banana costume. Seriously, what the heck is up with Mr Banana anyway? I'll be seeing you all soon, but until then, Stay Miraculous everyone!

[h-ayata]

I'm sending you ❤️🪓 about your oc :3

Hii!! Thank you for your questions!! ^-^💕 sorry about the wait! ❤

❤️ (heart) - Who is the most important person to your character? To what lengths would they go to protect this person?

I think the most important people in her life are her family. I'm talking from her grandad to Francis and her daughter. Even if Violet's main aspiration in life wasn't a family or starting one, she always loved them very deeply. And I don't think there are any limits for her if someone she loves is in trouble. Of course she won't be starting unnecessarily fights, but if sb would hurt one of her loved ones she would be ready. Her daughter can just be like "mom, I killed someone" and she would be like "don't worry about it". She would murder for her child, her husband or any member of her family if it'd be necessary.

🪓 (axe) - Does your oc have survival skills? Have they ever had to use them? What would they do in an apocalypse? Could they survive?

Violet didn't had to use her skills to survive, but she got a few. She's a VERY good swimmer. Because of the area where she was raised now water is her second home, so swimming in colder water for a longer period of time wouldn't be as hard for her as for ordinary fella. She's quiet strong and agile so running and jumping wouldn't be much of a problem. She has a sense of leadership so maybe she would make decisions or plan next moves if there was an apocalypse. I honestly don't know. Maybe she would hunt for food and supplies? And I think she would survive but she would be very weak and ill or she would die sacrificing herself for others. That's an interesting question but fortunately she's just a random woman living in Paris and her biggest enemy is traffic so 👍🏻

[vamqiredove]

OKOK @indigoartistqueen i'll ramble and elaborate err i'm keepin it here cause this rlly isn't smthing i want on slaingelo especially bc i get a bit mad in this oops

CAMERAS LIKE THAT ARE USELESS. ALSO THEY MAKE SHIT WORSE IF YOU ARE PARANOID. having them inside your house is unnecessary unless you're convinced someone's living in your house without you knowing. otherwise it does nothing but take up electricity or batteries and money ect ect whatever. If you unnecessarily install cameras you're going to be checking them constantly. and also within the context of just "waah my big strong man is out for a week i'm so scareed i'm going to put cameras inside my house" WHAT IS THAT GOING TO DOOOOOOOOOOO SOMEONE HAS TO /ALREADY BE BROKEN IN TO YOUR HOUSE/ FOR THAT TO BE "USEFUL" AT ALL AND BY THAT POINT IT'S NOT SECURITY WHATTTTTT

like other people said in that post, security like that makes it impossible to get out of your house fast/give first responders a hard time getting in. I have a bar in my window. it's removable from the inside very easily and all it serves to do is keep the window from opening more than a few inches. this mf would install damn prison bars if her husband had to go away for a month.

IF YOU'RE THAT PARANOID ABOUT LOCKS GET A FUCKING DEADBOLT AND/OR CHAINLOCK OH MY GOD. first responders are more likely to know how to get around those than "mobile locks" what the fuck is a mobile lock. OH WAIT !! SHE ALREADY HAS A DEADBOLT AND SHE'S DOUBLING UP WITH THE MOBILE LOCK. HUH ???????????????????????????????????

YOU WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW YOU ARE HOME.... when I'm home alone I actively try to make it look like someone's always awake. do I go over the top locking every door and window in the house and leave the curtains facing the backyard closed and did I once move furniture to block my bedroom door in order to sleep ? yeah sure but I'M MENTALLY ILL. WHAT I'M SCARED OF ISN'T EVEN PEOPLE BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE FFS IT'S MONSTERS THAT AREN'T REAL BUT MY DELUSIONAL BRAIN CONVINCES ME IT IS REAL TO THE POINT OF INSOMNIA IN PARTICULARLY BAD EPISODES. I AM NOT THE AVERAGE WHITE AMERICAN WOMAN FOR I AM NOT EVEN ANY OF THOSE THINGS

literally the only way I can see someone going this far for security in a way that ISN'T just "this is an ad" and/or "i am trying to brew fascism" is if someone fell into the delusion of being gangstalked, and in which case, they probably aren't posting their entire security system online because they'd be convinced their stalkers are watching their every move online and offline lol... it sure as hell wouldn't be framed like this either. also if it was the case she'd still be scared while her husband was home. it wouldn't magically appear when he's done, it would be constant.

doing shit like this isn't normal nor healthy, it's either a sign of going severe into the alt right pipeline and/or severe mental health issues that are going unchecked bc those are absolutely not mutually exclusive.

even the "keeping a flashlight nearby" thing is stupid in the sense that I DO THAT. BECAUSE WE FREQUENTLY GET POWER OUTAGES HERE ???????????????? what's it going to do if there is an intruder are you going to shine it in their fuckin face. what, can't see them thru your aesthetic lighting ?? what's the fuckin whistle going to do ... you've isolated yourself your home alone it's a WHISTLE. at the veyr least get a fucking weapon, HUH ?????????????

honestly I don't even know how coherent any of this is, it pisses me off a lot. I've done a lot of shit to try and feel "safe" and frankly it feels insulting especially given my minor agoraphobia too [ can't leave the house alone, i always need a friend or family w/ me ] especially the weird way this shit is made aesthetic. AGAIN. LIKE THE FUCKIN PURPLE LIGHTING IN THE VIDEO. AND ALSO THE SLEEK TECH.

the aesthetic-ification of that video is probably what REALLY gets me mad about it though.. like it really just makes it feel like an ad playing both on white peoples fears and mentally ill people.

blah blah my experiences aren't universal and my delusional paranoia isn't "that bad" compared to other ppls. whatever. i don't like it either way

[decaffinatedfrog]

In his eyes PT 7

Joel Miller fanfic

_____________________________________________________

Tlou

Summary: When your sister and her husband died, your left in charge of your niece. What happens when you encounter a man and another teen on a quick supply run?

PT.1 PT.2 PT.3 PT.4 PT.5 PT.6

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a while since you got a good rest. Usually you're the first person to be up and getting things going but your going through a tough moment. A few months ago you injured yourself after running away from clickers at night. It confirmed your suspicion that raiders had been in this town recently but you just weren't sure how close they were to you. The aches on your body were strong enough for you to groan as you stood up, but not loud enough to wake up Sarah, who was curled next to you. You made your way outside to get some air and enjoy the pretty show of stars. Lost in your thoughts, and in the show of stars, you still managed to hear Joel approach you.

"We're leaving tomorrow morning" he quietly said standing next to you. Your heart clenched at those words you knew were coming, but it felt nice to have someone there. The silence was loud, it was hurting you. "I've got some things you can take" was all you said before both of you walked back down.

Joel was double checking his pack when you walked over to him with the pack you made him. "Here" you said as you gave them to him. "It's a bit hard for us to carry all these things, I think you guys can make better use for it" you continued to explain.

"Thank you" he quietly mumbled. He graciously took the packs from you, making room in their backpacks to carry. Sitting next to him, you felt comfortable. No tension, no urge, just calm. "What's next for you?" he asked, breaking the silence. "I honestly do not know. I've been to a town over, found a place near a lake but I'm still a bit hurt and wont be able to travel far " you explained, playing with your fingers.

Joel's' mind instantly ran to the thought of him kicking you off of Ellie and hurting you. "How about you guys?" you asked back. He then told you about his brother in Wyoming and how they planned to get there. Joel thought about asking you to join them but he didn't even know where he was going to go exactly or what was next.

"Thank you for letting me rest. I've been scouting for the last couple weeks. Found raiders and clickers, both times I got hurt. I can't express how thankful I am for you guys sparing my life" you said quietly.

Watching you crawl to Sarah was one of the most horrific things he's seen in all his years. It hit too close to home. Is that what Tommy saw as he crawled to his Sarah? The cries you let out were worse than hearing someone get hurt.

Joel stayed quiet. He wasn't sure how to respond.

You said your good nights and fell asleep..

Next morning.

You stood at the doorway with Sarah, watching Joel and Ellie getting ready to walk away. Your heart felt a little empty, but it was for the best. Missing the touch of humanity. From the corner of your eye, you could see Sarah being fidgety, but she' probably feeling the same right now.

"Ellie invited us to go with them y/n' "Sarah, I don't think that's a good idea. "

"I hate it here. I hate this life we carry. Its unfair to me, all we do is sit in one place and then leave when we get too comfortable. If you don't want to go, ill go. Everyone we love died because you couldn't keep them safe. I don't want to be the next one to die because of you!" you gasped in horror of the words that came out of her mouth. Where did all of these words full of hatred come from? Your throat started to burn but you wouldn't let the tears fall. Joel looked away but Ellie watched it all unfold in front of her.

"don't you dare mention them to me. I have done nothing but kept you safe for all these years. Do you need me to remind you of what happened a couple days ago? You couldn't even run. You're not going and that's final!" you yelled back "You're not my mom. You don't get to make these choices for me anymore. How are you going to keep me alive with your bad knee and back? that's right, you wont. " said Sarah as she ran to get her stuff. You looked at Joel and Ellie.

Joel was scolding Ellie for inviting Sarah with them, but in a second Sarah was already next to them. She looked back at you with anger in her eyes but you didn't know what to do. "I won't be here if you come back, Sarah" you yelled to her as she walked away. It was all you could say. You were too hurt to say anything else.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N Hi everyone, thank you for reading! New chapter will be up 05-12-2023

[meimi-haneoka]

First of all, thanks for making all these translation posts. They really helped in clearing up the confusions the official translation produced. How they managed to pass through editing is beyond me.

However, forgive me for asking this kind of a negative (?) question here, because I know you're such a staunch fan: What would you consider as legitimate criticism of Clear Card? I'm not asking for those that are also present in the OG series (such as CLAMP dragging the mystery for various reasons), I mean those that are only specific to this arc. Because when I reread the entire arc in preparation for the final chapter a few days ago, I noted some missed opportunities and details that never had quite a payoff in the end, but I'm currently debating if I should really analyze why I felt that way or I'm just being nitpicky. (And for the record, I don't have much nostalgia goggles for this series. I only started following this three years ago.)

Hello anon! Thank you for reading my translation posts and I'm glad they were useful to you!

Hmmm I think we should always consider and try to understand if the complaint we have is something that affects the plot to a greater extent or if it's just a wish we have, to have seen more of something, but that in the end -doesn't- really change things on a structural level. Like, I dunno, the kiss everyone is complaining about 🙄🙄🙄 And even when we find some, we might need to think hard if they *really* didn't give an explanation (even an implied one). Also it's good to keep in mind that what we might not have liked, maybe was the favorite thing of somebody else, so we shouldn't label it as a "flaw" in absolutistic terms. Just always keep it on the personal, subjective view.

I'll make you an example of what I think it's a missed opportunity that reflects on the plot, in some way.

The cause of death of Lilie (and her husband, at the same time).

Even for this, I have a hunch or two about why they didn't talk about it (my theory is that the cause was a violent one, and they were betrayed by the Association just like little Kaito had been warning her during chapter 60 - maybe they tried to abduct Akiho, thinking she would be super powerful), I've had this theory since long time and honestly now that they ended the arc without explaining it, I can't help but feel that I was right and that mentioning it would've crossed CCS boundaries.

I see many people complaining "why Nadeshiko died, we never got that explored" but I mean, they told us about it, they gave us a reason? Why no one wants to believe that she simply died of illness? Why does it have to be a magical reason?

For Lilie, however, we only know that she died while protecting her daughter in an "accident" (see, my theory?), at least if we have to trust what the Clan told Akiho. I would've liked to know the reason, just a little bit more of it, because honestly....there are people who wonder why she decided to do all that she did in order to help fixing things in the future that would come many years later, instead of just focusing on staying alive and not leave her daughter alone, unprotected, at the mercy of her horrible family? Since she's a yumemi and could foresee her death? Because we could say that if Akiho ended up being abused in her childhood, it's also because she was completely left on her own. Couldn't she avoid death? That would make sense, so she decided to take care of "damage control" instead, meeting her daughter's future soulmate, the one who would give his life to protect Akiho and bring her out of there? And meet Sakura when she was only 13? But I would've at least liked a mention of that because, if we have to be nitpicky about it, this reflects negatively on Lilie's character. And I'm absolutely sure that she's a decent character and was a wonderful mother in the months she could live with her daughter. I don't think she did all that she did recklessly. But you see, I have to make up theories in my head to fill that gap, I would've liked a helping hand from canon, in that sense.

This is different from another comment I often see "couldn't Kaito just *ask Sakura* for help?" because no, even if they didn't spell out with words why Kaito didn't ask for help, they gave us plenty of hints and portrayals of his personality, which make completely reasonable the way he went about it.

For Lilie, we really have little to go by, in the end.

This is just an example, there are other things that I go a little bit 😐at, but all in all they're little things that might be slightly annoying at worst, not stuff that would impact my love for this series. Hence why you see me so staunch about it. 😊

[lightlycareless]

Naoaki getting on my last nerve fr bro first of all he got in yn face after learning that she was tending to her actual husband and freaked out then proceeded to try and kiss her after learning about his brother being sick and his wife being with him and not gonna lie that reaction was suspicious as hell it gave off "I have to rush this up quick to have an advantage" kinda vibe do you get me? Honestly honestly if I was yn like if I was in the story this wouldn't happen yk like the minute he tries to kiss me I'd put my hands up and start swinging call the cops or something Cuz we ain't cheating in here even if naoya's a piece of shit we don't do that in this household also why he keeps tabs on her when he's not there? He thinks he's yn husband💀😂 like I'm reading and I'm ashamed because it's so embarrassing who does he think he is just because yn be friendly and all blush and bashful doesn't mean you can think you're entitled to know what she doing where she is and all that and I know I just know mf is lying because in one of the previous chapters he texted naoya something condescending about yn like watch your wife or put a leash on her I don't really remember but something like that. Also I feel so bad for naoya no matter what he does he fails and he tried his best he really did :( first time in 38 chapters that I want naoya to get what he wants and for yn to see him and his efforts and consider it because honestly the way you portrayed his heart break I think my heart broke too like she was hard so on him really really hard so I guess now I'm a naoya defender now but still he can't be forgiven until he apologizes and makes amends with yn for the things he put her through that was not cool i guess I'm yn naoya defender let's go ✊✌

Heya anon!!!

We all turned into Naoya defenders at this point tbh.

I have to admit that as much as I adore Naoaki, that move was distasteful, ill-timed, unrequited, so on and so forth 😂 would make anyone believe he's jealous of the time Y/N is spending with Naoya tbh. And he probably was lol. He's really protective of her given all that happened, so I can imagine he wasn't all too happy of learning what was going on, even afterwards.

Doesn't excuse his behavior, but yeah lol.

As for Naoya... same. I kind of felt bad for him but at the same time I was like "sir... what were you expecting?" he's still out there blaming literally anything else but the root of all evil. Y/N wasn't just acting like that because of her family, it was the culmination of everything!

Hopefully, we'll see more stuff regarding that next chapter :> I hope everything I've written makes that one scene worth it!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, thank you so much for reading the story!!! We're getting very close to my favorite... arc I guess. ajkljsglaskgl It was the slow build up, but it just had to happen for everything to make sense hehe.

Have a wonderful week, take care, and hope to see you soon!!

[hazel-of-sodor]

Day 7-Bump:Fair Play

Day 7-bump

Other Stories

Fair play

September 1982

Gordon was exhausted, dirty, and above all else cross. Silver had taken ill and Gordon was the only engine available strong enough to cover for her. Gordon at first tried to keep a good attitude about it. Pulling goods trains had become rarer and rarer for him as the years went on, and it was only asked of him when truly needed. Plus he was covering for family.

 Unfortunately his resolution failed to make it out of Tidmouth yard. The trucks had made it their personal mission in life to pay him out for all the goods trains he'd missed. Each and every one of them.

He had been bumped, held back, battered, and pushed every last inch of the last eighty miles. His rear buffers were bent.

He had only made it up his namesake hill without a banker through sheer power, will, and spite. Even the trucks had been impressed with the feat. Unfortunately they also took this to mean they weren't trying hard enough.

Needless to say Gordon was in rare form when the yard man approached. It should be noted here that this was not the normal yard manager, who was keeping her kids while her husband was sick, but a rather naive underling.

"Ah you here on time, well done, let's get these in the sidings, then you can be on your way."

In the cab Amanda and Rain froze at the man's words, then slowly turned towards Gordon's face.

Gordon had an unreadable expression, and the innocent yard worker could be forgiven for missing the glint in his eyes as he spoke. "Am I to understand that the yard shunters are unable to perform their duties, and so I must take their place?" His tone was quiet and dangerously calm. Everyone in earshot went very still in the hopes of avoiding the larger engine's attention. Even the trucks restrained themselves to quiet giggles.

The clueless worker nodded happily, "The points to their shed are jammed and they can't get out. They're right mad about it too." Now that he mentioned that, Amanda was fairly certain she could hear Rosie questioning the virtue of the repair crew's mothers.

The worker thankfully continued quickly. "I may have a way to keep you from having to manually put each truck in their siding."

"Do enlighten me."

The worker, oblivious to how close the pacific was to snapping, walked over and laid his paperwork on the engine's buffer beam and pulled out a pad. "Did you know we recently ungraded the yard so we can flip the switches remotely?"

"I can honestly say I did not."

"Well we can now, and that got me thinking, do you know what a hump yard is?"

To Amanda's shock he did, "Trucks are pushed up a hill and allowed to roll down into the right siding.

"Yes we don't have a hill, but we do have a very powerful engine."

Gordon was silent for a long moment. "Am I correct in suggesting," he said slowly, "that you want me to bash the trucks into their sidings?"

The trucks suddenly were very very quiet.

"Yes and you'll have to hit them hard enough to roll all the way into the sidings from here, as we don't want you crossing the points at such speed." The yard worker seemed to hesitate here, "Are you okay with that."

A grin slowly slid across Gordon's face. "Oh my friend," Gordon purred, "I would be delighted."

The sound of trucks gulping was audible across the yard.

[deamsgirl]

Current WIPs and Drafts

So, I got the idea to organize and list out my current WIPs and drafts by @lmaoirrelevant's recent post in the hopes that it will jumpstart the creative juices for some of them. And because I have an obscene amount of drafts, apparently, and they need constant wrangling. If you'd like, you can let me know if there are any projects on the list that you really want to see updated/finished! It might give me extra motivation to just buckle down and work through it. A big thanks to @lmaoirrelevant for letting me borrow the idea! If you haven't read any of their fabulous fics, you should go remedy that ASAP! They're wonderful!

This one is literally just for my pokemon fic because I have so much of it. I may do a separate one for my other fandoms or section this out later.

Currently Posted WIPs:

Entropy – Goh/Ash/Gary, Red/Blue. Goh is sucked into another alternate dimension, except this one is so different from his own dimension that it’s unnerving. Like how one of his husbands doesn’t seem to know him at all and the other has supposedly been dead for over a decade. Thanks a lot, Palkia.

Brush Off that (Cold) Shoulder – Goh/Gary/Ash. The one where Goh has an ill-advised drunken tryst with Gary Oak—the jackass professor who just brutally shot down Goh’s request for an internship at Oak Laboratory. Oh, and the adorably earnest guy who keeps insisting on making Goh breakfast the morning after? He’s none other than Gary’s famous Pokemon Champion husband, Ash Ketchum. Goh is… understandably confused. And never trusting Dawn or her stupidly-strong cocktails ever again.

Pandarus – Goh/Gary/Ash. Ash and Goh have always worried about Gary's apparent disinterest in dating. With their own wedding just weeks away, they decide to help their long-time friend find his special someone too. Honestly, they don't understand why Gary's so pissed about it. Or why their other friends keep calling them assholes. AKA the one where Gary's been pining after his two dumbass friends for years and Ash and Goh are way more oblivious than anyone thinks.

Ribbons and Arrows – Goh/Gary/Ash. Chloe’s Eevee evolves into a sylveon, whose powers supposedly include knowing when and with whom someone is in love. The problem is, Goh would rather it not broadcast to the whole world that he’s stupidly, hopelessly in love with his two best friends.

Misty’s Toll-Free Hotline for Pining Gay Idiots – Ash/Gary. In which Misty unwittingly becomes Gary’s emotional support person regarding his big gay crush on Ash, and she’s honestly kind of fed up with them both.

Currently in My Drafts:

Regency AU – Ash/Gary. Lord Gary has a mountain of expectations to live up to. He’s to inherit his grandfather's dukedom, marry a woman of proper birth, and produce an heir. Too bad he’s falling hopelessly in love with his stableman, Ash.

Vampire AU – Ash/Gary. Gary comes from a long line of vampire hunters. Ruthless and efficient, he’s never let a mark get away. That is, until he’s tasked with taking down Ash—a seeming walking disaster of an undead that Gary is trying very hard to not find endearing.

Truth Serum – Ash/Gary/Goh. Gary is hit by a blast of psychic energy and suffers a rather… unique side effect. Namely, that he can’t stop telling the truth. Which is… totally fine. It’s not like he’s harboring any deep, dark secrets, like being hopelessly in love with his two best friends. …Right?

Distraction – Misty/May. It’s hard to have a secret crush on someone who spends 90% of their time in a bikini. Or, May has Feelings or something, and Misty obliviously makes her life incredibly difficult.

Pokemon AU Part 3 – Ash/Gary. AtLA. No one expects Ash—Oak’s worst student (who is weirdly prone to accidentally electrocuting people)—to be the Avatar. Unfortunately, a heated spar with his insufferable classmate Gary blows his cover rather spectacularly.

Ghost AU – Red/Blue. Red is the stone-faced ghost haunting Blue's new apartment. But he's only, like, concerned with reminding Blue to goddamn eat once in a while (something with vitamins, preferably). Blue keeps finding snacks on his person that he knows he didn't put there. He's not amused once he figures out who is doing it.

Kidfic 1 – Ash/Gary. Ash regularly comes home with all sorts of strays. Gary just never expected him to turn up with an actual, human baby.

Kidfic 2 – Ash/Gary/Goh. Elana Ketchum-Oak and her three embarrassing dads. And don’t get her started on her legion of (equally embarrassing) aunts and uncles. Although, she supposes Uncle Tracey isn’t too terrible (just don’t tell Papa).

Handmade – Blue/Red. No one knows that Blue only wears necklaces because Red keeps making them for him.

Rebound – Ethan/Silver. Somehow, Silver becomes Ethan’s go-to Emotional Support Rival to comfort him through his pile of failed relationships. Silver’s annoyed, because he’s busy and doesn’t have time for Ethan’s sentimentality and absolutely no other reason, stop making assumptions, Blue.

Pokemon Masters ficlet – Blue/Red. Ash and Red both seem to realize that they’re alternate versions of each other—a fact that they’re determined to keep under wraps. Too bad they’re forgetting about Blue’s uncanny ability to recognize Red (a talent that apparently extends to Reds from other dimensions as well). Now, if he could just figure out why Ash keeps calling him Gary, of all things…

Rivalry Sequel – Ash/Gary/Goh. The grad students at the Vermillion Institute finally get to go on their first research expedition, and with Professors Oak and Albright as the leads. Unfortunately for them, they realize all too quickly why everyone keeps gifting them ear plugs.

Sickness – Ash/Gary/Goh. Gary gets sick while Ash is away, leaving Goh to keep an eye on him. AKA Gary doesn’t deal well with idleness, and Goh is saddled with the worst patient ever.

Proposal – Red/Blue. The tale of the night Blue proposes. Irredeemable fluff and nothing more.

“The Way Men Love” – Ash/Gary. After his parents’ death, little Gary Oak decides that he’ll never be helpless to keep someone he loves safe ever again. And then he meets Ash, who attracts trouble like a damn magnet, and realizes that sometimes the only way to protect someone is to make sure they’re strong enough to protect themselves.

Cuddling – Silver/Ethan. Ethan has no concept of personal space—a fact that is slowly but surely driving Silver insane.

21st – Ash/Gary/Goh. Gary is tasked with picking up Goh from the bar when the latter drinks too much on his 21st birthday. He assumes he’s the absolute last person Goh wants to see on his birthday (judging by his usual reactions to Gary’s presence), so he’s more than a little surprised with how excited Goh is when he shows up.

Couch – Red/Blue/Ethan. Ethan thinks Red and Blue’s couch is intolerably uncomfortable, but their only solution seems to be dragging him into their bed every time he visits, which Ethan is, like, 90% sure is Really Weird (even if he kind of likes it).

In a Hole – Red/Blue. Blue and Red get stuck in a literal hole in the ground. They have plenty of time to work out their feelings for each other while they wait for someone to rescue them. Too bad they’re both emotionally constipated idiots.

72 Hours – Ash/Gary/Goh. When someone attacks Oak Laboratory, Gary gets trapped in the collapsed building. His only hope for survival is waiting for someone to rescue him. Except he was supposed to be on his way to a conference in Sinnoh, not indulging an Ash mega-fan with her first pokemon, so there's a good chance no one will even realize he’s missing until it’s too late. Add in the fact that whoever attacked the lab is going on a deliberate spree of targeting other research facilities, and his odds look even bleaker. But, if there’s one thing Gary’s good at, it’s surviving.

Homing Beacon – Silver/Ethan. Ethan always seems to know where Silver is. Because they’re rivals, obviously. It’s not like he’s stalking him or anything (Silver disagrees).

Surrogate Dad – Silver/Ethan, Red/Blue. An annoying joke about Blue being Silver’s adoptive dad escalates, because Blue can never do anything halfway. Red is ambivalent about his new parenthood status, and Ethan lives in perpetual fear of Blue’s wrath if he messes up his relationship with Silver. Silver is… well, Silver’s surrounded by idiots, so he’s tired, okay?

Praise – Ash/Gary/Goh. Goh finds out Gary has a bit of a praise kink. He’s pretty sure he shouldn’t be devoting as much time to thinking about it as he is.

Alola – Ash/Gary. Gary’s research takes him to Alola, which would be amazing if not for the fact that Ash apparently talked about him so much during his time there that half the region now thinks they’re dating.

Mt. Silver - Red/Blue/Ethan. Love grows slowly for some people, unnoticed until it’s too late to do anything but give in to it.

Good god, there’s actually more, but I have to sort through them because I have a nasty habit of not naming my Google Docs. So, when I wade through the 500 different “Untitled Document”s, I’ll probably update this.

[pretty-prince-lulu]

Roly's new kid Zigobi continues to be woefully unattractive.

his mother loves him which is all I'll ask for here honestly.

dad treats the Infant Illness while wearing the largest trenchcoat ever recorded by man.

Maybe I'll do a run-through of some of our more interesting colonists here at Chaos Gene. Here, have a readmore.

I guess I'll just do them in occasional parts when I feel like it? There's quite a few members now. Let's start with the first two main families!

Boneface, who began as our only colonist- then, a reclusive, solo mechanitor averse to crowds and daylight. Not yet his current incarnation of some sort of golem of yardwork, but his penchant for invading abandoned labs and injecting whatever vials he found resulted in this.

He was originally the colony leader, but since became our voidseeker instead due to Neil eclipsing him as a psycaster- and the strongest is the leader around here. Boneface's main role in the colony at the moment is research and construction, with occasional kitchen stints when one of the other cooks can't keep up. Fuck knows how he stirs pots with chainsaw hands. He's also a druid, which I expect absolutely nobody would anticipate. He mostly uses this for regenerating his wife in combat.

As a mortifying aside, Boneface found his mother in a cryptosleep casket, and ended up selling her to the Imperials for honor points. His daughters are still kinda high-key mad at him, understandably (but she was wildly hostile to them all). He also has relatives absolutely all over the place, including at LEAST two other sons that we've caught in raids and released. We have no idea who their mothers are. There's an aunt somewhere, cousins, grandparents and a grandson.

Boneface has pretty clearly done some substantial shit before founding this colony but we don't know any of the details. Who is he running from?

We still have the option of calling and inviting all his relatives via console (including his mother). We MAY eventually do that.

His wife, Fulvia, originally a refugee at Boneface's then-humble cottage for a few weeks, of whom he was rightfully absolutely terrifed of due to being a hussar and basically already having both this level of combat skill and a very limited supply of go-juice. Boneface spent the entire time afraid for his life as if she snapped at any moment he would wind up wrapped around the fractured chassis of his mechanoids and resemble the aftermath of a car accident instead of a man. I'm convinced his courtship of her was entirely due to a fear boner.

She has not entirely abstained of her husbands vial-injecting habits, but her choices are far more... considered. Those two genes increase combat efficiency, and the wings permit an avoidance of terrain penalties. Also, literally WHO would turn down the option to grow wings?

It will shock nobody to know that Fulvia spends most of her time in combat training. If we need to send a single colonist to do a quick combat-ready caravan run, she's the nominee (usually for lab quests). She's also a blood mage, which means she starts fights by stabbing herself, and letting the blood magic build until she can bring fucking demons out of the void to sic on our enemies. Fulvia is metal.

Fulvia and Boneface actually did try quite hard to avoid having children, but are far, FAR more compatible than their relative personalities suggest. These two adore each other (even if I have caught Boneface occasionally flirting with other people's wives and being rejected hard. I'm putting that down to ego.) All three of their daughters are unplanned (and Fulvia has an IUD now so any future offspring will be under our control).

Their eldest daughter, Basilia, combat and crafting extraordinaire, and not-insubstantial pain in my arse.

Basilia's skills are mostly due to genetic manipulation on her own part. Like her mother, she has wings (though a different sort; she was born before mother had the gene and had to inject them attached to one that lowers her carrying capacity... annoying, but not disastrous).

As you may observe, Basilia possesses several personality traits that render her a pretty meaningful fucking obstacle socially. I blame her Dad. She works herself half to death, eats everything in the fucking freezer, somehow breathes in a way that pisses everyone off, does everything slow for no reason, gets shitty if she's not allowed to travel, and goes out of her way to give everyone else the shits by employing zero tact. That 2 social should be negative twenty seven. Mostly I let her train and craft, and hope that she has the good sense to keep her goddamned mouth shut. She's yet to develop magic, which is NOT helping her standing in the colony. I need to work on that as there's a big social stigma for that here.

As a sidenote, as a child, she absolutely, categorically could not gain any Learning points. I have never had this happen before. This did not affect any other colony children. I actually had to put her in a growth vat until she hit 13 to stop the 'learning starved' tantrums. This would be why her age is somewhat disproportionate, but I had no choice. I STILL have absolutely no idea why this happened. Was it the Lazy trait?

Their second daughter, Bantra, is a bit of a wallflower, and mostly manages to go unremarked on by the colony. Mostly.

She's a good kid, and honestly no trouble despite a couple of questionable traits. She's a fantastic shot and already joins our main fights despite only being nine years old (I typically gate that until they're older due to the low body part HP). She hangs in back of fights and takes long shots that do great damage. I ought to award her with a proper sniper rifle- I think we have one somewhere.

Their third daughter, who was very late, and VERY unplanned, came after Daddy got most of his... stranger genes.

Partridge (her auto-generated name that I just found adorable enough to keep) hit combat expertise at three years old and two days. I'm still not game to bring her to a fight, but that's quite a few beneficial genes, and she's going to grow into her father's Bane-esque body proportions. She got her mother's wings and... uh, aggression. She already gets into a lot of fights, and tends to win, which is I'm sure at least partly due to having powertools for extremities. She's a body purist. She was BORN WITH THEM, so it's okay.

Being four years old, Partridge's current colony duties are... somehow already combat training, lessons from probably at least somewhat terrified teachers, and getting into absolutely knock down drag-out shitfights in the recreation room.

Our colony leader and ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE FAVORITE, Neil.

Neil was actually purchased by Boneface, who saw her for sale from an orbital trader as a slave. She was nine years old at the time (ignore their relative ages; the aging rates are weird in this game). Boneface is not the most ethical man in the world, shall we say, but she was being sold for next to nothing, and he concluded that it was better to take her in and recruit her to the colony proper than leave her in the wild to take her chances with whoever DID end up buying her.

Boneface did not account for being absolutely dogshit at social, and Fulvia had not yet returned to stay with him (she left after her refugee period was complete, and he had to research the tech to build the communications console to call her back). It took this man entire quadrums to convince this tiny, tiny girl that he meant her no harm. He didn't even have the bone face and chainsaw hands back then. He was just the world's most awkward nerd (he still is now, of course, but he can rev his chainsaw engines to hide the awkward silences).

Neil has also been fairly conservative with her gene choices. Tough skin is a desperate attempt to keep her intact in combat (it does not help), and the other two are for trade advantages and social boosts that she doesn't actually need. She is a dame of the Empire, and a properly dangerous psionic in her own right, but mercifully lacks the ego to match. Neil is a sweetheart and pulls far, far more weight than you'd guess.

She's also pregnant right now! There'll be another child soon.

Pompilius Ahenobarbus, Ekkiman sanguophage, chronomancer, head researcher, moral leader and former seamstress (yes, it explicitly calls him a seamstress in his tooltips. Trans, maybe?).

Pompilius was originally a baseliner and an Imperial that came to Boneface's cottage after Fulvia left, but before Boneface could manage to research enough to build the console to invite her to live with him (She sent him a concrete plinth as a thanks for saving her when he arrived though, which I take to mean Pompilus was delivering the gift. We've kept it- it's in the temple, engraved with a knuckleduster, and we use it to store hemogen packages. Fulvia was an artist, so in my head, she made it, and gave it to her friend to deliver. Anyway.)

Pompilius is another big-ticket member of the colony. He does a large, large swath of the academic work, and his prettiness somewhat offsets the unattractiveness imposed by his xenotype (yes, Ekkimen are meant to be bald, but I've pared that off his genome. He had lush hair and I didn't like how it changed his look). He tries his best to be good at combat when it's called for but his absolute terror of fire tends to mean that he panics against mechanoids. He panics in general- I get a few notifications here and there about anxiety attacks, which cannot be prevented by mood boosts. Shame.

Originally, he was a temporary refugee, but Boneface and Fulvia (when she arrived) got a distress call from him in need of rescue from raiders. Given that he has researched the console that we'd used to call in Fulvia, we felt like we owed him. It wasn't a bad decision!!

His role as a chronomancer means that he's saved many lives in the colony by casting 'reverse time' on them as quickly as he can when they've died (this notably includes Neil more than once; she's made of glass). We've also taken to hoarding the corpses of our diplomatically-amenable enemies and reviving them the same way out of our freezers, to send them home with a story of our intent and a relationship boost for our act of great magical mercy.

He's an excellent trader but tends not to get to use it. Neil's the one that goes for trade caravans, and he usually comes along with because they both get big upsetti when they're apart.

Their children!

Their first daughter and ever-popular SMALLEST GIRL IN THE WORLD, Vasbia!

Vasbia is high-key a favorite of mine, despite having quite a few traits that render her... not wildly useful. She reminds me a bit of Wednesday Addams, and it's not just the pigtails she aged up into. She's depressive, gets very distressed when others are sad, seems to usually have a very unimpressed sort of expression, has a very kind disposition despite it. She loves food (we won't begrudge her, she's super tiny and has a terrible metabolic efficiency due to her genes lol, but it made her SO hard to keep alive as a baby). She's made of absolute glass, and despite having TWO entire genes that will increase the damage she can do in combat, I can't see myself ever having the courage to frontline-soldier her. She enjoys training regardless- or perhaps she just likes sitting on top of the training dummy like an owl, as it looks there.

It mercifully has yet to come up, but she is WILDLY flammable, yet lacks her father's fear of fire. She will literally turn into one of those tiny tea candles if she ever catches fire. She inherited Dad's ability to long jump, which means she's basically a grasshopper. She's also a corpsefeeder, which means the SECOND combat is over, she's out there drinking dead soldiers. My tiny cat Wednesday with corpse juice in her pigtails.

Her little brother, Alobar. FUCKING ALOBAR.

Alobar is a goddamned bastard-arse nightmare child. He was grown in a vat, which is for the best because he'd have kicked the shit out of his mother as a fetus.

Alobar is aggressive as shit and does not have the chops to back it up, but he thinks he does. Whenever I see a popup about a social fight, I always look to his portrait to see if it's got the little red bastard thunderbolt. Alobar wants drugs but mercifully doesn't seem to go for them unless told (I presume that's coding to stop your chemically interested babies from killing themselves). This does not prevent him chucking tantrums about not being allowed to have any, like a toddler that wants to drink the chemicals under the sink. He tempts me to loosen the childproof lids, I tell you.

Alobar will make a great night-shift researcher when he's older, but until then I'm daily resisting the temptation to put him in the 'bastard be gone' child growth vat so I don't have to deal with his fuckshittery.

Alobar's behaviour makes me a little afraid for the next kid on the way, due in (I would guess) a couple of quadrums.

None of the kind genes from the mother got through... but it'll be immortal, for when someone inevitably punches it into glass shards thanks to the hyper-aggressive and delicate genes.

[weezly14]

Speak your truth about tcr 🎤

ok, i'm gonna break this up into episode 10 thoughts and series overall thoughts.

episode 10:

this is easily the prettiest episode; the cinematography and direction is great. i'm a sucker for long shots and creative lighting and framing several characters the same, etc - well done.

love that we get an arc for lawyer guy in the last two episodes (sarcasm.) what purpose does it serve?

ah, yes, we need him and Rya to have a moment in the diner. he needs to have PTSD so that he can mention it and Rya can monologue and then have a lightbulb moment

EXCEPT - a) i cannot buy that this dude - a MAN - told a woman he's known for three? weeks? not long anyway - that he has PTSD in public. not only that! it is, remember folks, the 1970s! i don't remember PTSD entering the public lexicon until the early 2000s, maybe, and it was bothering me so i looked it up and PTSD didn't enter the DSM until 1980; it started being used to refer to Vietnam vets in the 70s but it wasn't as commonplace as it is now.

Which just gets further into the issue I have with this episode and this show where the writers can't seem to remember where we are in time. a man being vulnerable about his war service and trauma with a woman he barely knows in public? using terminology that wasn't commonplace at the time? rya's entire monologue in the diner felt very current, in the way she laid things out. is this truly how they spoke about mental illness in the 70s? it doesn't feel like it.

i said the second we entered the courtroom drama portion of the show: they're gonna put "Adam" on the stand. AND THEY DID

honestly as much as i know the subject matter of this show is dark, i've personally never felt triggered but fuck me, i hated that scene of Danny on the stand talking about Adam. not only can i not believe that Danny - being confronted for the first time with the fact that the abuse Adam suffered was actually abuse he suffered, on the stand, in public - would take it all in stride like he did and not fracture further, BUT he called it rape, out loud? it definitely was, but do you know how hard it is for people to name the thing that was done to them? i'm not saying Marlin didn't rape Danny; I'm saying I can't believe Danny would accept that the rape happened to him in one moment and then in the next one call it exactly that. his testimony on the stand was that of someone who's spent years in therapy working through this, not weeks/months.

add to that - i absolutely hated the way that Danny spilled his guts, is on the stand in tears, and when he's done speaking Stan simply says, "the defense rests" and turns his back and walks away. Danny needs care, and that mic drop moment wasn't as effective as it was cruel - to me, anyway

Rya just? Quit? lol ok.

the thing that pissed me off the most, though???????? i've said before, the existence of Adam before Marlin's abuse indicates that Marlin was not the first abuser. Danny's dad is alluded to in passing, and then we have an entire fucking episode about trying to find him in London which, I stand by my statement, is such a waste of an episode, but nothing else really? they sort of implied that maybe Marlin wasn't the first abuser Candy had dealt with? but it was all very implied, blink and you'll miss it - to the point that I thought it was just going to end unresolved. THEN, ten minutes from the end, Candy drops the bomb that Danny's dad abused him first?????????? this bothers me on several levels. 1) the way she danced around saying the words was imo how Danny should've been in the courtroom but given that we're past that it seems odd to suddenly be unable to say the words? 2) we're supposed to believe that this woman found out her four year old was being abused by his father and left, and then when she realizes that same child is being abused by her new husband she does nothing? the glimpse into their life that we see in that episode introducing kid Danny to us - it does not appear that they are struggling so desperately that she needed Marlin. 3) relatedly, Candy was called to testify to Danny's abuse, and Marlin scares her into not pointing the finger at him. BUT SHE KNEW ABOUT DANNY'S FATHER. why would she not have said anything? it absolves Marlin, it paints her as a good mom ("I got us out of there as soon as I knew") and it helps Danny. 4) They waited until the last ten minutes of the last episode to reveal this!!!!!!!!!!

this episode both felt too short and also, i was so done by the end.

overall series thoughts

Tom can act. Truly, he deserves an Emmy, Golden Globe, etc for this performance, because he's the shining star

the script was terrible. certain lines just bothered me and the characterization was all over the place. i feel like we watched two different shows - one about Danny in therapy, and one about Rya and Stan teaming up to save him. this was not a cohesive story.

again, the crime he was charged with was stupid. he shot at someone in broad daylight, missed, and the person didn't come forward? pick a different angle in, this one was toothless

i hated the courtroom stuff, i'm sorry. it was bad.

why was this set in the 70s? billy milligan. aside from DID and the not guilty by reason of insanity, in what way did this story or character in any way resemble billy milligan? they got the set dressing and the costuming right, but the racial and sexual politics, the way that rya is apparently divorced and on decent terms with her ex and former professor (love how that's never discussed and also - until 2010, new york state did not allow no fault divorce. maybe this is a minor quibble but my first thought watching this, seeing Rya doing the single mom thing, saying she's divorced, was to ask: what were the laws around divorce back then in New York? 1974 is when women were first allowed to open their own bank accounts), the glossing over of Vietnam until it was useful for Stan to be a vet with PTSD, the way that's thrown in at the last minute and also discussed in a way that seems inaccurate to the time - like, the writing either needed to reflect the time period, or they should've changed the setting. they were already changing everything, why commit to the one most exterior piece of the story? set it in 2005. Stan can still have PTSD, Rya can still be a divorced struggling single mom, prosecutor's speech about the incarceration of black and brown men wouldn't have felt quite so heavy handed - i mean really. What purpose did the 70s setting serve?

i think i liked this show more before i watched episodes 9 and 10.

it had such potential. and that's what irritates me the most, honestly. Tom gave a great performance, Amanda and Emmy were criminally underutilized, the story could have been there and could have been something. but they fumbled it. it wasn't cohesive or clear about what it wanted to be. was it about Danny or Rya? was it about the criminal justice system or mental health? was it about Mental Health or DID? because honestly, we didn't get nearly enough time with the alters, and Danny seemingly was told he had this disorder and then immediately was able to master it and control his alters. he was cagey and didn't wanna talk and was confused for several episodes, then he's "hooray for therapy" and not even speaking in the courtroom scenes/episodes. is this show really about him? it feels like this show is about Danny in the way that the movie 42 is about Jackie Robinson - it says it is, the title's about him and everything, but look closer. it's about him but he's not the active agent in this story. it's about what has been done to him, the forces enacted against him. we see less of Danny's journey than we see Rya and Stan and even Candy talk about it.

(the 42 comparison is another tangent but if you wanna talk to me about it please don't come at me in bad faith.)

i think the "just ask for help" bit bothers me so much because DID isn't so much a disorder about asking for help? yes, Danny did eventually seek help with the voices in his head, he worked to integrate them. but DID is not depression is not bipolar is not anxiety - is not any number of other things, and i think we do mental health a disservice by painting it all with the same brush. and of course this is where the issue of umbrella terms comes in. yes, all of it can be grouped under Mental Health, but asking for help in the context of: i'm feeling stressed and anxious about bills/starting a new school/my future is very different from: i think i have clinical depression, i have insomnia, racing thoughts, suicidal thoughts, flashbacks, etc. Danny needed help, that much is clear, but not in the same way that you or I might. so is his story unique or is just another mental health story? am i expressing this distinction clearly enough?

that being said, i appreciate immensely how respectful the abuse and suicide attempt were depicted in this show. not showing it is often more powerful, and i'm glad for the sake of the audience and the actors (particularly the child playing young Danny) that an attempt was not made to show the abuse, to depict the slashing. we know. it's enough.

did i like this show? i don't know. i'm gonna think about it for a long time. again, the performances were outstanding. there were moments that moved me and made me feel seen. but, for the hundredth time, just because a piece of art can evoke an emotional response does not mean that that piece is objectively good or well-constructed. i don't like amy pond as a character and i think the weeping angels are overrated but even i cried in the angels take manhattan. does that mean it's a good episode and i liked it? no, it means stephen moffat knows how to emotionally manipulate/impact an audience.

idk, i'm not sure i'd recommend this show except to say that Tom is great in it, or if i wanted someone to discuss it with me.

overall? it feels like a missed opportunity.