#I know this because the rp is correct about everything

[jellybeanium124]

modern au stede and louis's text chat is 95% exchanging bug and small animal pics

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/727841287119814656/ehh-generally-they-were-like-ask-specifics-about Can you expand on writer’s block not being real?

--

Sure!

I think everyone who's ever made art has hit points where it's hard to go on making art or where a particular project isn't moving. So from that perspective, sure, a version of it is real...

But there's a particular version of it that's what a lot of people mean where you're A Writer™ and then the magic inspiration gnomes come and steal your inspiration juice. This is mostly nonsense, and quite a few author types who've actually finished long projects will tell you so.

When you sit down to a blank page and it stubbornly stays blank like your head, that's a symptom of something... and the something in question is often either depression and overwhelmed feelings that are taking over your whole life or an entirely correct instinct that your project is flawed and the next step is not writing that next scene.

Many people try to be pantsers instead of planners, get maybe a quarter into a project, and then choke. It's because they started with the kind of concept that requires planning, but they haven't planned. If your plot revolves around the characters eventually learning the meaning of life, you'd damn well better start with what you, the author, think that meaning is and work backwards. Same if your characters are solving a twisty mystery or complicated thriller conspiracy: you will not come up with a genius idea that ties everything together just by writing by the seat of your pants. If you don't go in with the ending in mind and some waypoints to write towards, you're going to choke. This is exceptionally common in grandiose fic concepts that are like "What if this true blue hero were a viiiiillain, oooooh!" where it's neat, but 99% of the point is showing us the work of getting from A to B. People write the prologue showing us the big concept and then flash back to how it all started... and then stop.

I see it a lot in projects that start with a character sheet for RP. Yeah, for RP itself, noodling along and figuring out what X would do in situation Y is great fun... but for many longfic/novel plot types, you will not arrive at a workable plot this way. You'll end up with a mess that can, at best, be used as brainstorming and completely rewritten from the ground up, using only key cool images or character observations. There are authors that start from individual characters and then see where they go. In my experience, they don't tend to be working in the genres that fic fandom types tend to want to work in. It's also something that often takes a lot more experience and skill than starting with a basic plot outline, and inexperienced writers often overreach.

It's not writer's block. It's a project that needs to be taken out back like Old Yeller.

Even the salvageable projects that are making you pause usually have some other issue like you not being clear on the central emotional themes even if you've outlined some factual plot. Or you've demanded that your characters do a particular thing for plot convenience, but you know deep down that it doesn't ring true. You can't write the next scene because there is no next scene. You need to rework the forced part till the rest can make sense.

And even more common than any of the above is people thinking that just because Danielle Steel sits down every morning and writes for eight hours, that means they can and should with no warm up or experience. Trying to force yourself to be a type of writer you're not—majorly overdoing it on any work, in fact—just leads to burnout and inability to function.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling someone that roleplays are a two-way street and refusing to re-engage with them?

Occasionally, if I'm in the mood to write but I don't really know what, I'll browse ship tags on Omegle. Its become synonymous for roleplays, and I've found its (typically) pretty fun.

As with every social thing, there's the odd... Less than pleasant experience. Last night was one such experience. I connected to someone on a ship tag, they sent a prompt, and it was actually a pretty interesting one, so I responded.

It was an AU prompt, but I generally kept my characterisation as close to the character's canon as I could, while still matching it to roughly what someone's personality in that profession and location would be.

(E.g; if the character was a proper old-country style cowboy, or a socially awkward secretary, ect.)

It became very clear, very fast, that the other person had very, very specific ideas about the roleplay, what happens, what my character was supposed to say/do, ect. To the point where (as I later told them) they should've just written fanfic so they had complete control.

Near enough every time I responded, they'd "correct" it or argue against it both in character and in brackets as themselves. For example if I noted something about the background or story of my character, theirs would immediately say "no that's not what happened" or they'd say [hey actually can you change that, it doesn't fit/I don't like it/its not what I envisioned].

After about fifteen minutes of this I got incredibly vexed and decided I was done. I don't mind a roleplay having certain goals/main points/guidelines, but they were literally trying to control every tiny aspect of what I did. So I sent them this:

[I'm sorry, the RP sounded interesting in the prompt you sent, but its rapidly becoming clear you don't actually want a roleplay, you want to be the sole one dictating everything that happens. Honestly I think its best you turn this idea into a fanfic and not a roleplay. It kills off any enjoyment of the roleplay when I have you contradicting every tiny detail I include or dictating what I'm allowed to do or say. I'm not going to sit there waiting for you to approve of everything I intend to say. Thank you for your time, but good night.]

I disconnected, and decided I'd spend another fifteen minutes browsing the tag before I did something else. Well apparently, the other person decided they were going to spend fifteen minutes stalking the tag trying to find me again, spamming every connection with messages ranging from extreme insults and threats to demands I 'speak up again, bitch, I wanna talk' and so forth. After connecting to them for the tenth time, I sent:

[I'm not going to re-engage with you. I said what I did, and frankly, it was a valid statement. If you can't handle the fact that roleplaying means a 50/50 creative allowance with someone else, and that you can't micro-manage or bulldoze every single detail, then you shouldn't roleplay. Frankly, knowing how vile you can be from simple criticism, I'm glad I disconnected. Take a breather and re-evaluate yourself. I'd be embarrassed.]

Well. This morning I logged onto Tumblr and after some browsing, I actually came across them again. Here. By means of a post where they included screenshots of everything and are even going so far as threatening to stalk Tumblr and AO3 to 'match up the writing' so they can find me and presumably say their piece or whatever.

I talked to a friend about it, and surprisingly, they think I'm an asshole. Not for what I said in the first place, but for not re-approaching the other person (through DMs) so they'll stop filling the ship's tag with negative stuff. (They've made 3 posts about it all so far.)

I don't want to do that because it means opening up my private social media to this obviously unhinged individual. I know I can expect to be spammed, sent hate mail, have them try to track down my other socials, ect. I could make an alt account for it, but honestly that's effort I don't see the point in making. If they can't let this go, its not my problem.

AITA? Should I make an alt account just to let them get it out of their system? I don't know how to proceed with this.

What are these acronyms?

[bananasfosterparent]

Ascended Astarion does what Tav wants to do after defeating Netherbrain because he doesn’t love Tav. He doesn’t like that the party is not hosted in the palace and doesn’t want to interact with other companions, but he went to the party with Tav because he doesn’t love Tav. Tav is well fed and wears expensive clothing because he doesn’t love Tav. Tav can be poly with Halsin because Ascended Astarion doesn’t love Tav. He says he missed Tav if Tav missed him in Avernus because he doesn’t love Tav.

THIS RIGHT HERE. ALL OF THIS.

It's wild how people think Ascension is some magic love off-switch that locks him out of ever feeling real love again and makes him see Tav/Durge as simply an object and nothing more.

I know many anti-AA players say that even with these examples given, it's all just a lie. That it's all a smoke screen manipulation to keep his clutches on Tav... and if you want to roleplay that, then that is canon for you and your Tav! That's perfectly okay!

But what AA says to Tav is just as true and untrue as what Spawn Astarion says to them in the spawn ending. Yet no one talks about that.

There is no singular "correct canon" for what happens and everything you said makes that very clear.

Another case of people not understanding what the RP in RPG stands for.

[undead-memes]

thor odinson sentence starters. quotes taken from infinity war (2018). altered for the sake of rp, make adjustments where you see fit.

‘you talk too much.’

‘you really are the worst (title).’ / ‘you really are the worst.’

‘NO!’

‘you’re going to die for that.’

‘who the hell are you guys?’

‘you seem to know a great deal about (name).’

‘… your father killed my brother.’

‘families can be tough.’

‘i feel your pain.’

‘i need a hammer, not a spoon.’

‘how do i open this thing?’

‘how do i open this thing? is there some sort of… four-digit code, maybe?’

‘i’m taking your pod.’

‘are you mocking me?’

‘i need you to stop doing that.’

‘he stole it from me when he destroyed my ship and slaughtered half my people.’

‘the rabbit is correct and clearly the smartest among you.’

‘only (name) can make me the weapon i need.’

‘i assume you’re the captain. you seem like a noble leader.’

‘will you join me on my quest?’

‘you simply lack the strength to wield the weapon. your bodies would crumble as your minds collapsed into madness.’

‘he already is too powerful to stop.’

‘i bid you farewell and good luck, morons. bye.’

‘you’ll know when we’re close.’

‘he’s been dead before… but, no, this time i think it really might be true.’

‘rage and vengeance, anger, loss, regret… they’re all tremendous motivators. they really clear the mind.’

‘well, he’s never fought me.’ ‘yeah, he has.’ ‘he’s never fought me twice.’

‘every one of my enemies would have rather killed me, but none succeeded.’

‘i’m only alive because fate wants me alive.’

‘(name) is just the latest in a long line of bastards and he’ll be the latest to feel my vengeance.’

‘fate wills it so.’

‘what more could i lose?’

‘i don’t think this thing works.’

‘everything seems dark.’

‘something’s wrong.’

‘go back to the pod.’

‘what happened here?’

‘i know it feels like all hope is lost. trust me, i know. but together, you and i, we can kill (name).’

‘leave that to me.’

‘fire the engines!’

‘more power, (name)!’

‘suicide is facing (name) without that axe.’

‘allfathers, give me strength.’

‘it’ll kill you.’ ‘only if i die.’

‘bring me (name)!’

‘noticed you’ve copied my beard.’

‘by the way, this is a friend of mine, (name).’

‘i told you… you’d die for that.’

‘what did you do? what’d you do?!’

[okthatsgreat]

🧠✏️

I'm obsessed with Sae I would ask every question if I coule I lov themn

AAAA this means so much to me bc IM OBSESSED WITH HIM TOO i am very very glad people like her ............................... 😁

oc ask game! (plus some art at the bottom lol)

🧠 - what do you like most about the oc?

answered HERE but alsoooooo i can definitely think of something else :)

i LOVE writing her dialogue LMAOO. her whole gimmick is that she acts wayyyyy older than she actually is, and when i say that i mean she truly acts like an old man. she is a very slow talker a mover and figuring out how to write for her has been lots and lots of fun !!!!

she uses a lot of ellipses... and always drags on a sentence if it is possible. she never uses exclamation points if she can help it... because she tries not to raise her voice... and typically doesn't get excited or emotive about many things. she trails off a lot, either on a tangent about a sailing story or simply because she has lost focus... and includes a quote from her afi or from a writer that can shed wisdom on the situation. everything is a lesson to be learned, you see... she also tends to repeat herself at the end of the sentence, she does. it's either "you see" or some variation of "i do/i am", depending on what was said... and of course she always refers to her boats and the ocean using she/her. laughs like an old man too, eheheh... always keeps the mood light

but, uh, when she gets flustered she uses "um" and "uh" a lot. especially when backed into a corner. sounds a lot less wise. her sentences get shorter when she's upset. real short. she tends-- you see, she tends to stutter a lot more when she is stressed, or in a tense mood. corrects herself, or-- sometimes, she cuts herself off before she says anything too harsh. her tone grows a lot more "childish", and she wants to sound like she knows what she is doing. won't raise her tone. just gets rather blunt with you.

unless she gets very irritated. because then she starts to emphasize certain words to you in an almost condescending manner, and-- and she still might stutter over her words because she is thinking less about them, but they are all flowing out of her mouth at this point. and if you push her too far she'll start yelling! exclamation point! it is rare to get an exclamation point from her! if you push her hard enough she'll scream! she'll fucking yell!!

but yea anyways she's been fun GHFDJKG

✏️ - how often do you draw/write about the oc?

grins. the grinner

SOOOOOOOOO sae as of right now is being used in a killing game rp which means i get to write for her pretty oftennnnn :) she gets to hang out with a whole cast of awesome characters that are both amazing and stressing her out so badly. as hell. it is chapter 2 currently (we're at the motive!!) and literally every single thing is going wrong (the motive concerns her family and of course her afi was threatened bc thats all shes got, her plan to escape failed miserably and shes starting to resent people with very little reason, somebody in the killing game knows JUST WHAT TO SAY to seriously push her buttons) but she'll persevere 😍 she'll persevere and get so much worse

i loveee the rp server bc the people there love to write fics and draw art of their own AND each others characters and i eat it up every single time. me included i love creating for these rps :) which MEANS i actually do draw and write for her a bit often!! now a lot of it is practice and/or doesn't get sent to the server lmfaooo i think the last fic i wrote for her (and finished-- i keep starting things and stopping 😔) was a backstory fic for her about that one bad memory i mentioned in the last ask :) a single person has read it and that is the person running the rp in the first place ghfdjkg

UM UM here's some old art that i sent to the server and didnt post here !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and here's a chart of literally ALL of her siblings LMFAOOOO

[pokenimagines]

SFW Iono | Headcanons | Found Family headcanons with Iono and an Younger sibling reader whom is really shy and doesn’t like being in front of cameras, Yet is really supportive and helps her in her influencer career.

A/N: I kinda left this one on a funny note. Wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with it, so you get this. Plus I love Iono and I feel like she’d be the best big sibling ever, in the sense that you want someone chaotic and protective in your life.

Rules | Discord Server (16+)

SFW Iono: Camera Shy

Iono is super supportive of your decision about not wanting to be in front of cameras. She’s met several people over her lifetime that don’t feel comfortable being on camera, so she gets it.

That being said…she’s still going to be asking. All the time. She respects your decision regardless, but what if you changed your mind one day? She needs to be there for the exact moment you decide it’s fine.

People are going to be knowing about you though since Iono is going to be gushing about her “little sibling” all the time. People are going to think you’re actually related at some point and Iono refuses to correct herself.

She posts photos of the two of you all the time on Pokegram, though she just makes sure to pixelate your face if you ask. She always has little captions saying she’s with her favorite person in the entire world.

Iono’s fans are going to be gushing over you as well. They want to know who this mysterious person is. Iono makes a comment that if you ever did a face reveal that the stream would blow up.

It gives you ideas.

Especially on one particular day that Iono is pouting about lack of interaction. If you say you’re willing to show up on her next stream, she’s going to be hyping it up.

She’ll ask if you’re sure about this and once she knows you’re down, she’ll do what she can to make you comfortable. You won’t have to be on camera long, just enough for a Q&A session with her.

The stream is going to blow up. No avoiding it. Congrats, you’re not internet famous by proxy. Good job on being supportive because you have now cursed yourself with fame.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅• Thank you for reading! Did you know we have a discord? It has everything from RPs, General Discussions, and even an 18+ area to go hog wild in! We even do announcements early for when the inbox is opening for requests, as well as other events! Come in and join us!

[fightabear]

Hello! You haven't been in your robin rp account, so I'm sorry for writing it here, but... Have you read the Superman: Jon Kent adventures in injustice? Finally, Damian is treated in a good way and finally someone told Bruce he abandoned his child. It was heartbreaking! I know you are an injustice Damian wayne lover, so am I, so I just wanted to ask, what do you think about it? I hope DC's gonna prepare us for injustice 3 with this story!

Hi! Alas I don't have a lot of free time these days so I'm not sure I'll ever get back on there.

With that said, yes! I adored it! And I'm hoping it's laying the groundwork for Injustice 3 and Jon is going to play some kind of role.

There's a lot I could talk about in the book, but I think my biggest takeaway is - it's not actually changing the Injustice world like I first thought. It's... like a missing chapter. Slotting in right before Year 5, Issue 13.

Jon's presence doesn't really change anything. Though it was a good wakeup call for many, many members of the Regime - nobody leaves. He's just planting the seeds of doubt many of them need to take action. Clark just shows what a monster he's become to the public and so he becomes even more of a tyrant since he can no longer rely on their good will.

There's two ways to view this moment - this is the moment that Damian is going to change and he's going to go talk to Alfred about his doubts and get out of there. And maybe that's what would have happened.

But I think, tragically, this is actually the moment where Damian inadvertently signs Alfred's death warrant. Damian decides to go to Alfred and disclose the doubts he has (again, Year 5, Issue 13) and Alfred gives him honest advice. He asks Damian if "peace" is worth the deaths its cost, and if Damian is okay with this - and Damian isn't. Damian hates Bruce's methods and his brutality too! He doesn't want this, this is not the path he wants to walk.

And so Damian does what Damian does best - he throws himself face-first into danger. Grappling with his guilt in the part of everything getting to this point. It nearly gets him killed - would have gotten him killed if Dick hadn't intervened - and Dick provides him the Nightwing suit in the hopes that Damian will go back to Alfred.

But then Clark shows up. And Damian is nervous, because he has doubts. He is doubting the Regime, he's doubting the role he's playing. He doesn't want to be here doing this anymore, he wants to help people - not subjugate them.

But - elaborated on a way longer post about this I made years ago - Clark manipulates and intimidates Damian into telling him. He uses a mixture of that parental affection Damian is so starved for, and clear intimidation and Damian opens up to him about how he's feeling.

And Clark... well. We watched him beg Jon not to disappear.

Damian might disappear on him. Alfred might take away his substitute son, and his right hand man. Damian has a lot of keys to taking Clark down and dismantling the empire he's built, he can't really afford to lose him.

So Clark takes out the only other support Damian has. Alfred makes Damian doubt? Well, he's got to kill Alfred now. Making sure Damian won't leave. He uses Alfred's death as proof that Bruce's methods don't work, that the Regime is the correct way and if they dismantle it then more innocent people will die. He pushes Damian to tie up that loose end by having Damian strike the killing blow, and Damian's never the wiser to the fact that Clark was behind it all.

[destisea]

𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊  /  𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐄

  a semi selective , slow activity , oc & canon multimuse blog.  with characters ranging in theme, and media. may include muses from:  𝐎𝐍𝐌𝐘𝐎𝐉𝐈 , 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐑 , 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐊𝐀𝐈 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐋 , 𝐓𝐖𝐒𝐓 , & 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄.  all characters are crossover friendly, as the majority of my muses are a mixture of headcanon & canon. will contain disturbing genres, adult content, themes of self sacrifice, existentialism, and several more complex or difficult topics. first est 5 / 2023 . remade 5 / 2024

roster & rules below the readmore!

it goes without saying but, i do not allow minors to follow my blog, or personals. any who do follow, or interact with my posts will be blocked. i also will not tolerate those who write triggering content and media including p*dophilia, or inc*st. ( I.E proshippers do not interact! )

𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒 qi/frey ( wha ) , boot/hill ( hsr ) , pom/pom ( hsr ) , lan chen ( oc )

𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐘 belda/ruit ( wha ) , veritas/ratio ( hsr ) , sona ( league ) , war/wick ( league )

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓 / 𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓 primordial chaos ( hades ) , yato/no/kami ( onmyoji ) , idia/shroud ( twst )

𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 yuura ( merfolk oc ) , il/dottore ( genshin )

𝐓𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆… junko ( hunter oc ) , vladimir ( league ) ,

  𝐌𝐘 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒, 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆:

my name is rhys, they/them or she/her.

be patient with me. notifications here are awful, so i don't always see everything or catch things right away. so long as we aren't rude, it's okay to give me a little nudge if i have clearly missed something i've been tagged in.

communication is extremely important to me in roleplay- as most of my interactions are pretty plot dependent. obviously real life comes first and is always first.

if you write or interact with saccharot ( kae ), do not follow me or block me or whatever. likewise, if you write with kiingsroar ( dia ) or any of their other blogs, i ask you do much the same. i'd be more than happy to explain what happened and why i'm uncomfortable with these users. but please, i don't want them on my dash.

if you want to ship? tell me. i will never assume, or default to shipping with people. of course i practice the same, and like to make it very clear i want to explore a particular dynamic. if things wont work then that's fine! but i need clarity when it comes to stuff like that. i really go 0 - 100 on shipping, and LOVE development, and plotting.

keep in mind though, if you're just here to ship? i usually wont entertain it. i write to explore characters, and their interactions with the world and people around them. i love exploring dynamics too, but i don't seek them out. unless they're with people i've known for a long time.

at the very most, i will ship romantically with up to two? of the same muse. but i like to keep that to a minimum. as plotting dynamics is something i put a lot of care and thoughts into-- and don't want my ship partners to ever feel like they're part of a collective or not unique / important to me. IF you'd like exclusivity, tell me. i am more than happy to do that if that's what you prefer. of course, i am more than ok with writing with multiple of the same muse. and exploring other kinds of ships and dynamics to see what clicks!

please, i don't obsessively hover on dash or deep dive on people. i roleplay as a hobby, and rarely prioritize being here. if someone i interact with is GENUINELY an issue, or has done something problematic and troubling- chances are i very likely do not know. or haven't heard about it, because i really only come on tumblr to rp and post art. i am okay with being corrected, or told these things. but do not spark drama, accuse me of things im not aware of, or assume i am okay with it.

pleeeeaaaaaaaase. PLEASE... TAG REALISTIC SPIDERS.

pinned image by: v_0_3 on X header image by: deciqm on tumblr

[spacesealing]

#SPACESEALING: an affiliated herta rp blog, puppeted by mik (19, they/them, gmt +8). a thesis on power, control, and what it means to be a genius. rules and portrayal notes may be found under the cut!

RULES

my portrayal of herta is aromantic asexual. i am not open to shipping.

please tell me if you have any issues with things such as text size, graphics, etc. i write using small text with a bit of formatting if i feel it. if this is something difficult for you, please let me know; i'm happy to change it! in terms of accessibility, i ask that you use small text when possible to make it easier for me to read.

i will use general trigger warnings for things such as gore, extreme violence, suicide, and other topics that i deem sensitive enough to warrant it. i will be using "tw // (word)" as a tag. if you have any triggers you'd like me to tag, please feel free to let me know through a dm. i also tag spoilers under "hsr spoilers"

with regards to ooc contact: while i am part of the discord server, note that i will have all ooc channels on mute. i will only keep channels related to rp unmuted. this is simply for personal comfort. if you need me, i'd rather you reach out through dm's.

i am not as familiar with genshin or honkai impact 3rd as i am with honkai star rail. please be patient with me if i have lapses in the lore! i would appreciate it as well if you could also correct me on these things.

PORTRAYAL NOTES

in terms of her genshin verse, i will mainly be operating within the parameters set by gnostic hymn. herta will have a puppet placed in teyvat and will be controlling it remotely (do NOT ask how she managed it, she's just built different). everything else about her remains the same, maybe just lowered to a smaller scale as she does not have the material wealth that she has in hsr so she can't really do most of the things she wants to. she'll definitely try, though.

speaking of the puppet: while herta herself uses she/her pronouns, the puppet uses it/itself on account of the fact that... well, it's a puppet. i enjoy making this distinction in my prose (talking about herta vs talking about her vessel) and would appreciate you doing the same!

herta is crass. she is difficult to speak with because she does not really care much for pleasantries, especially with strangers. she'll only really be invested in a conversation if she finds the person she's speaking to interesting, or if she's working with them directly for whatever reason. otherwise, it may take a bit of prodding to get her to be responsive.

slightly related to the note above: she does have a tendency to objectify people, or to reduce them to her perceived value of them. while it won't go too far, it might still feel abrasive, so i ask that you please do not take this as a slight against your muse. this is just something she does as a character.

[destisea-a]

      a semi selective , slow activity , canon multimuse blog.  with characters ranging in theme, and media. may include muses from:  𝐎𝐍𝐌𝐘𝐎𝐉𝐈 , 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐑 , 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐊𝐀𝐈 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐋 , 𝐓𝐖𝐒𝐓 , & 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄.  all characters are crossover friendly, as the majority of my muses are a mixture of headcanon & canon.  may contain disturbing themes, adult content, existentialism, and several more complex or difficult topics. i always try to tag things appropriately-  but if i miss something, feel free to tell me.

𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐎: @godfled / @knghted , @paramythas , @dvouer

it goes without saying but, i do not allow minors to follow my blog, or personals. any who do follow, or interact with my posts will be blocked. i also will not tolerate those who write triggering content and media including p*dophilia, or inc*st. ( I.E proshippers do not interact! )

primarily featuring:  𝐐𝐈𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐘 , from the manga 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐑

𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒 qi/frey ( wha ) , veritas/ratio ( hsr ) , yato/no/kami ( onmyoji ) 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐘 belda/ruit ( wha ) , idia/shroud ( twst ) , suzuhikohime ( onmyoji )

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓 / 𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓

primordial chaos ( hades ) , shieda kayn ( league / friends only ) , yuura ( twst mc ) tang/yun ( dis/lyte ) , poe ( bsd ) , serpico ( ber/serk / friends only )

  𝐌𝐘 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒, 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆:

my name is rhys, they/them or she/her.

be patient with me. notifications here are awful, so i don't always see everything or catch things right away. so long as we aren't rude, it's okay to give me a little nudge if i have clearly missed something i've been tagged in.

communication is extremely important to me in roleplay- as most of my interactions are pretty plot dependent. obviously real life comes first and is always first.

if you write or interact with saccharot ( kae ), do not follow me or block me or whatever. likewise, if you write with kiingsroar ( dia ) or any of their other blogs, i ask you do much the same. i'd be more than happy to explain what happened and why i'm uncomfortable with these users. but please, i don't want them on my dash.

if you want to ship? tell me. i will never assume, or default to shipping with people. of course i practice the same, and like to make it very clear i want to explore a particular dynamic. if things wont work then that's fine! but i need clarity when it comes to stuff like that. i really go 0 - 100 on shipping, and LOVE development, and plotting.

at the very most, i will ship romantically with up to two? of the same muse. but i like to keep that to a minimum. as plotting dynamics is something i put a lot of care and thoughts into-- and don't want my ship partners to ever feel like they're part of a collective or not unique / important to me. IF you'd like exclusivity, tell me. i am more than happy to do that if that's what you prefer. of course, i am more than ok with writing with multiple of the same muse. and exploring other kinds of ships and dynamics to see what clicks!

please, i don't obsessively hover on dash or deep dive on people. i roleplay as a hobby, and rarely prioritize being here. if someone i interact with is GENUINELY an issue, or has done something problematic and troubling- chances are i very likely do not know. or haven't heard about it, because i really only come on tumblr to rp and post art. i am okay with being corrected, or told these things. but do not spark drama, accuse me of things im not aware of, or assume i am okay with it.

pleeeeaaaaaaaase. PLEASE... TAG REALISTIC SPIDERS.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not letting someone stream a movie in a server?

So I (27M) moderate a server for fans of a video game who wanna RP together. It's not small but I'd call it cozy, and there are several mods and it's understood things have to stay like... Pg-13/T. We don't mind if you say fuck but we're also in a fandom that appeals to minors.

There are minors in the server. Minors are welcome to join the server.

This is simply context for what follows.

A member (32F) joins the server, and broke a rule here or there, and I am the mod that was most active so I was the one that usually corrected her. It was nothing personal, she just broke minor rules and needed to be corrected, or asked for something the mod team disagreed with, and I answered the question.

One day, this member comes in and announces she will be streaming a movie in the server soon for anyone that wants to join. Specifically she's going to stream Everything, Everywhere, All at Once.

So, on one hand, this might be our bad. We didn't really have streaming rules? Because no one really streamed. Ever. Server's years old and it's only ever been a few art streams.

So the mods quickly huddle up and make up rules about what we do and don't allow to be streamed, and all agree that streaming R rated movies in a server with kids under 18 is a bad idea.

I let her know we have to ask she doesn't stream this movie in here, and announce to the server our new streaming rules. (Which are "no streaming games above T, no movies about PG-13. If you think it's fine anyway, please ask us for permission first instead. If you want to watch something someone is streaming but might be triggered, please ask either the person streaming or consult 'Does the Dog Die'")

She immediately write a several paragraph response informing me that I'm the reason they're leaving the server, that she's tried to extend the olive branch to me several times but every time I've been condescending and rude. But she was having a bad day and wanted to stream this beautiful movie and share it with people but because of me she can't so she's leaving.

I legitimately don't know what events she's even talking about? I try to sound professional, which I guess could make me sound aloof but I also run all my responses past the other mods??? Who all okayed them? None of this happened in DMs, it's not like I could've been hiding it from them or gone rogue to do this, the other mods were aware of any rebukes given to this person, and I honestly don't know what olive branches she thinks she offered. Unless she means that time she asked us if she could be made a mod?

I'm just baffled, and a bit worried because I try to be fair to all members in the group and honestly, we just didn't want a movie with like, rather explicit stuff shown in our server? Where minors might see it? But I guess I really hurt her feelings and made her feel like she had to leave, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[crawlingforwardx]

🌡 (but can I say ‘Uno Reverse’ post bat-attack?)

NONVERBAL RP STARTERS

🌡 push my muse down to give them medical attention | in response to (x)

It all happened so fast, he just barely had enough time to react before the bats were on him. This time in the right side up version of Hawkins. He was on pure adrenaline as he grabbed the nail bat from his trunk and started swinging, impaling one on the nails poking out of the end before swinging it into another and then slamming them both into the ground. When he was sure they were dead, he readied the bat again prepared to help Alice... Only to find she had taken care of her attackers.

He felt relief at first, lowering the bat in his hand as he took a breath. Then he noticed the blood... Her blood.

"Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit." He mutters to himself as he runs over to her and wraps an arm around her waist to keep her upright in case she was about to pass out. She asks him if he's okay and he almost wants to scream because she's the only one bleeding here. "Jesus Christ. Am I o-- Alice. What kind of a stupid goddamn question is that?!" Half-carrying her back to his car and despite her stubborn protests that she's fine, he carefully lowers her down onto the ground anyway near the passenger side door before scrambling around back to the trunk for the first-aid kit he had packed.

Once he finds it, he hurries back around and kneels down in front of her, pausing once he opens the kit. Steve really wasn't used to being on this end of things. Normally he was the one bleeding and in need of medical care, not the other way around so he was feeling a bit overwhelmed looking at everything in here. He had never really patched anyone up before so he wasn't really sure what the correct process for this was.

Lifting his gaze up to her face, his frown deepens as he notes the large claw mark across her cheek. "Shit..." It was deep, oozing blood and looked to be worse than the one on just under her collar bone so they needed to take care of that first.

"I have to stop the bleeding first, right?" Reaching in the kit, he pulls out some gauze. If he pressed that to the wound, it would help stop the bleeding, right? Unless she needed stitches... Which he was not going to be able to give her. Unrolling a good amount of gauze, he folds it up and leans forward to gently press it against the wound. "Can you hold that there?" He asks her so he could use both his hands to keep digging through the kit and try to figure out what he needed.

"Stop the bleeding... Clean the wound?" He utters to himself, trying to think. While he figures it out, he unrolls another wad of gauze and folds it up for the marks across her upper chest.

While Alice keeps the pressure on the gauze for her cheek, Steve busies himself treating her other wound; soaking all the blood up until the flow stopped and then cleaning it with a disinfectant. "Sorry..." He murmurs softly, knowing it stung but not wanting it to get infected. Once it looked decent enough, he squeezed out some ointment and rubbed a gob of it over the claw marks before grabbing some clean gauze to cover it; taping it down.

With that taken care of, he redirects his attention to the claw marks across her cheek; slowly shifting her hand out of the way and peeling the bloody gauze off. "Shit." That one definitely might need stitches and he did not trust himself to give them. Grabbing a fresh piece of gauze from the roll, he presses it to her cheek and tapes it down for the time being. "We're gonna have to get a better look at that one but I don't want to stick around here incase any more show up." He tells her as he wraps an arm around her once more and helps her up to her feet again.

Opening the passenger side door with his free hand, he eases her down into the seat and buckles her up before closing the door and running around to the driver's side, tossing the kit into the back seat.

[autumnslance]

In your answer to an ask (and just to say it, I LOVE Aeryn and Thancred!), you wrote the following that really stuck out to me:

I can't find it, but at some point I've noted that characters that seem to "do their own thing" are really just our subconscious taking the wheel; we are responsible for our characters' builds and their choices, but for me, a "successful" character who unfolds like I'm discovering them and their life, who surprises me with choices and actions, is cuz I gave them a solid enough grounding, know who they are...and my unconscious goes from there, usually cuz my conscious is holding myself back due to all the usual fearful, imposter-syndrome-laden reasons.

That really resonated with me, especially considering the various discussions I had about that with pretty popular fanfic writers who have never understood how a character surprises a writer.

And I mean, I get the argument - as you said, we as the writers are controlling the character and the story. And still I get surprised by my characters, even if I deliberately bring them into a situation with an intended outcome - suddenly, I'm in the middle of a scene and go "No, wait, they wouldn't react that way / do that actually."

I never really had an answer to counter the "I control everything, I never get surprised by characters", but I think your point about having given them a solid enough groundwork and the subconscious drawing from that is very, very true.

Thank you; I'm still always a little surprised when people like my shippy nonsense! You'd think I'd have accepted that by now and yet.... 😅

And yeah, we know how we, the writers, respond to things and can want a scene to go. But if we are "listening" to our characters--to ourselves and how we built them, and trust those instincts, then the characters seem to take that "life of their own." We let go of our own inhibitions and what we know are the "right/correct/etc" choices and let the characters be themselves--be who we made them to be.

If I made my character to be impulsive, then she ought to be; while I deliberate over an action, to make sure it's the "right" one (optimal, moral, whatever)...am I writing what I know is the "best" choice, like choosing a particular path in a video game to get a specific ending, or am I being true to the personality I created, especially when my deliberations are hung up on "the character 'wants' to make this choice but..."

Because I made that character, with these personality traits and backgrounds informing her life, and if I am writing (or roleplaying) true to that then she can seem to "make her own decisions." But it's really decisions I pre-made in deciding who she was to begin with, and sometimes we slip things in there without realizing--like, for instance, an enjoyment of snarky, emotionally complicated, disaster rogues that for my dear WoL daughter turned into a romantic interest when consciously, I had no intention of a pairing. But the choices I made in creating Aeryn, and how playing/writing her to react to the story based on those creation decisions, made that interest the correct choice for the character when confronted with it. Then it became a matter of convincing myself to just roll with it, and figuring out how it would work--mutual or one sided pining, everything fine, disastrous attempt(s), etc. Based again, on how I made my girl, and how I saw and wrote for That Damn Rogue.

Anyway, the step after that is learning to let go, trust your own character creation and writing, and lean into that. Let the character make those choices, good or bad (sometimes the "bad" choice leads to more/better story, besides). It is all our own choices and control as the writer/player, it's just when did we make those decisions: in the moment, or ahead of time when deciding who this character is to begin with--and realizing how we sometimes make some unconscious choices that we can lean into, rather than fight against.

-----

Now in a RP situation, one might have to bend or wrangle the character more to not entirely screw over the party/scene partners; a little mayhem and bad choices can be good, but not to the point of being a disruptive dick about it with the excuse of "that's just my character!" That either means the character has to (relatively quickly) grow and change as a person with their player considering how that will best work...or the character (or maybe the player) is not suited for that group/situation. Depends on if everyone's cool with it and having fun, or whether someone's trying to spotlight hog in a shared group setting, or just didn't make/bring a character appropriate for that group/situation/setting/etc.

RP characters should be made with a mind toward being somewhat team players, even if not outwardly. Otherwise the player isn't going to have too good a time trying to get into social situations--or especially at a closed game, if not taking their group and the GM's story into account. I saw it a lot at our LARP back in the day, and have seen it too at many open social events in MMOs; someone makes a mysterious loner who hangs at the fringes, doesn't have much reason to be there, and the player is bored or even upset no one's interacting with their uninvolved character (Edgy broody loners can be done, but I think often requires a little experience in knowing how to balance that with the needed social interaction aspect--and also already having some OOC connections that can be relied on to play off of and form connections with IC to draw those characters in).

So it again comes down to choices made early on, and how that will affect the "yes and..." situations once actually roleplaying them, and letting those early choices, conscious and subconscious lead the way, but with a little more deliberation and consideration for the other players.

[okthatsgreat]

hi lee!!!!!!!! ❤️✂️🍎💀🍩🧠 for any oc yyou want to talk about YAYYY! :D

YAYYYYYYY HIIII LILY :333 IM GONNA USE SAE FOR THIS ONE I THINK !!!!!!!!!!!!!

oc ask game!

❤️ - what is one of your oc’s best memories?

URMMMMMMM. a lot of sae's best memories are really tame i think bhgfdghdfj just moments where she could sit back and say Yeah. I am Completely Happy :) BUT the BEST one i think is one she recounts a lot just bc she reallyyy felt like she had found peace. the fishing village near her afi's home holds a yearly festival for fisherman's day that she LOVEESSSS. and IF MY TIMELINE IS CORRECT she got an award i believe in 2012 (??) for her achievements and contribution to her community . and when the festival was over she got to have a long chat with her afi up on a mountain top overlooking the ocean and she holds that conversation very dear to her heart :]

✂️ - what is one of your oc’s worst memories?

(forgive me for being vague theres still a lot to be revealed in the rp hgdfjkggfdsjk!!) shes got a few but the WORST one she remembers suppperrrrr vividly just because everything seemed to happen all at once, the town she was living in was going through one of the WORST thunderstorms it had ever had, and she was seconds away from doing something SO rash . GOD awful day for a thirteen year old to have. BUT it was the catalyst for some major changes in her life, so while she would never go back and do that all over again sae can at least acknowledge that it switched what direction her life took DRASTICALLY. it led her to where she is today but that definitely doesnt mean she looks back at it with any sort of fondness gbhdgbsdf

🍎 - what is the oc's relationship w/their parents like?

her afi and amma were her legal guardians for the majority of her teenage years! and anybody within a five mile radius knows that she LOVES those guys. she takes so much influence from her afi particularly and holds him on a very high pedestal of how she should be behaving and what traits she should portray, just because he is an incredibly patient and wise man. her late amma also influenced her a LOT in terms of hard-work and dedication to others, and when she passed it only caused sae to work even harder to support her afi. not to mention sae truly considers her afi to have saved her life which means she feels she owes a LOT to him ghfdjkg

she doesnt speak with her parents!

💀 - does your oc have any phobias?

she isnt DEATHLY afraid of anything but she gets concerned over superstitious things that arent necessarily a problem to other people lmaooo. like for instance she does NOT fuck with bananas because they are considered terrible luck on boats. she rarely sails on thursdays, took the lucky charms off of her fishing hat and placed it around her waist just so the hat won't fly overboard again, never renames a boat, etc. ALL because she doesnt want to invite bad luck on her ship fghsjd

she's also really not a fan of loud noises!! thunderstorms have a tendency to freak her out but it really depends on the day honestly. catch her in a good mood and she can manoeuvre a boat through them easy peasy, catch her in a bad mood and she'll just sort of stare at the floor unmoving for a bit

🍩 - who is your oc's arch-nemesis or rival?

LMAO sae would never admit out loud that she hates anybody enough to consider them an arch-nemesis or rival. ESPECIALLY pre killing game. now does she dislike people? for sure. is this killing game definitely taking a lot of her pent up resentment and making it ten times worse? definitely

🧠 - what do you like most about the oc?

guy that tried so hard to escape the cycle that she is slowly turning into the very thing she was attempting to run from 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 she is NOTTT breaking the loop

[incorrect-mordet-quotes]

Best SAO Abridged Lines As RP Starters Pt.3

“Sheeptar the Sheep King, your reign is at an end.”

“If that thing hadn’t already killed seven of us, I’d say this was a really stupid boss.”

“Whoa whoa whoa, we can’t just go around sacrificing NPCs! Some of my best friends have been NPCs!”

“That makes way too much sense.”

“Choke on it! Choke on my vengeance! How does it taste?!”

“Yeeeah. You know what? Maybe he has a point. This is super uncomfortable.”

“Sooooo… how’s your day goin’? You’re looking pretty relaxed there, buddy.”

“This grass feels amazing.”

“I suspect that wasn’t a real question–”

“It was great! You should’ve been there! He was climbing the walls, spitting acid…”

“We’re still talking about a sheep, right? Not like a… fluffy Xenomorph?”

“Its a really stupid boss!”

“Apparently not that stupid if it killed seven of you.”

“…twelve now, actually…”

“I mean, you survived, so hey. Silver lining.”

“Okay, what the hell is wrong with you? You’re way too… mellow.”

“Well, I had some time to kill before the raid, so I figured I’d power level my alchemy a bit  by eating some weird plants, and now everything’s…. just… great…”

“Look, okay? I get it. You had a really bad day. You’re stressed out, seven people died…”

“TWELVE PEOPLE.”

“Not the point. Look, they’re dead now. And really? Whose fault is that? That’s right. No one’s. So why don’t you lie down, relax, and watch the stars with me?”

“Its two in the afternoon! There are no stars!”

“Only if you’re looking with your eyes.”

“You’d better come down soon so I can kick your teeth in…”

“Huh… those dudebros make an interesting point.”

“I mean… as a man, there’s really only one option here.”

“I drew cat whiskers on you because I thought it would be funny, and it was!”

“Vhew eh pfftff Well… tff I… I dfff I-I mean… jju uu You know…! jj–… You- you could’ve… like… tjj ahu…”

“Yeah, remind me to draw on your face more often. I’ll eat like a king. Or at least a very wealthy janitor.”

“This coming from the guy who ate random plants off the ground?”

“Oh really? Well who’s dumber? Me, or the one who takes a nap next to some crazed drug fiend?”

“Need I remind you that YOU were that crazed drug fiend?”

“I can’t be held responsible for stoned _______. That guy’s an idiot.”

“Oh, looks like we are out of time! We’ll have to continue this next week, but in the meantime, please enjoy these lovely consolation prizes from the ________ Is Always Right Foundation.”

“Oh my god, you’re insufferable.”

“Huh… look. A human pinata.”

“He’s dying!”

“Uh… correction: he’s suffering. Probably hurts like a bitch, but he’s not gonna die.”

“Hey man! When you pop, could you try to send the candy over this way?!”

“I’m gonna go cut him down, you jackass.”

“Hey, anyone got like a thirty foot stick? I wanna take a crack at this thing.”

“So did anyone see where the candy went, or…?”

“For christ’s sake, a man just died!”

“Ah, yesss… but that just raises an even bigger question. Why do you care?!”

“I’m sorry, are you asking me why I care that a man was killed?”

“No, I’m asking why YOU care that a man was killed!”

“Welll… let’s see… most people would - charitably - refer to you as the crown prince of douchebags, long may he reign.”

“Your usual reaction to human suffering is to pull up a chair and crack out the popcorn! What’s your angle?!”

“I am shocked and appalled that that is your opinion of me!”

“Starts with an A---… right, Y. Starts with a Y. I mean its close, they’re basically neighbors, you can understand my mistake.”

“Its uh… Yo… Yo… Yo… Ya… Yoooooga pants?”

“Oh, spare me, Wonder Woman. You’re only doing this to prove I was wrong.”

“Hey! At least I PRETEND to be nice to people!”

“Yeah, whatever, uh—wait, ‘pretend’?”

“Well if its not my least favorite customer.”

“Aw, you just say that because I’m not dumb enough to buy any of your crap.”

“Yeah, well if there’s one upside to being trapped with these idiots, its that they’ll buy pretty much anything.”

“What’s the matter with you?! Why would you bring her here?! I thought we were friends!”

“What is up in dis… hizouse?”

“There’s just so much beauty in the world, you know?!”

“So dat’s da sitch. Think ya can scope da deets on dis gat for us, homey?”

“Um, but I’m da one dat asked you.”

“Why you ignoring me bro? You got cotton in your ears?”

“OH GOD! I-I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Grand Wizard _______ here’s not what you’d call a ‘people person’.”

“Um, excuse me?! Mr. Kettle? Mr. Pot called. He said you’re black!”

“What? Its a turn of phrase. It has nothing to do with race.”

“Okay, now you see dat? DAT was racist.”

“Well CLEARLY, I’m stabbing myself with this sword to see if it kills me– Oh god, what AM I doing?”

“Ah… handing the black man a murder weapon. Tale as old as time.”

“Do you really hate this place that much, or do you just love the sound of your own voice?”

“Its my gift to the world.”

“Hate to break it to you sweetie, but the world wants a gift receipt.”

“No refunds or exchanges. Only store credit.”

“Shhhhh. The grown-ups are talking.”

“Really? Then show me the body.”

“There is no body!”

“You can’t prove that he’s dead. Let me give this poor girl some hope.”

“Oh, don’t even PRETEND that’s what you’re doing!”

“________, why would ________ have wanted to make sweet love to your friend’s chest with the business end of a broadsword?”

“Meh, I’ve killed for less.”

“I knew it! They’re finally coming for me! It was only a matter of time! The walls are closing in!”

“Ever since he got trapped in here, he’s been terrified that his more… 'verbose’ commenters are going to make good on their threats.”

“I used to laugh at their comments! You hear me?! LAUGH! But now?! What if they actually DO chop off my limbs, rip out my intestines, and ride me like some sort of meat toboggan?!”

“You hear that? 'Meat Toboggan’. Try getting THAT image out of your head. Grippin’ his entrails like the reins of Santa’s sleigh. Streaking through the fresh morning snow on a trail of bile and gore, as his eyes beg the same question as the horrified children in his wake. 'Why…?’ ”

“This… may have been a mistake.”

“I disagree. I think you’ve got a real flair for this.”

“Did I say 'reason’? Sorry, I meant the screaming monkeys that live in her brain.”

“I don’t know about you, but I have a duty to my fans to survive this! …I mean, to the ones who AREN’T threatening to use my spine as a pitching wedge.”

“I think we can safely assume a ghost is not the culprit here!”

“Of course not. Obviously it was a Hit by the Mermaid Mafia paid in Leprechaun gold! But who was the puppet master? The Unicorns? No… they’ve had a feud going with the Mermaids for years.”

“Damn it, this is serious!”

“Weeellllll… I’m not a doctor… but I don’t like her chances.”

"Ah! Ah! Ow! Ah! Ugh! Ah.... aaaugh..."

"Really? I figured some random perp would be no match for the world's greatest detective. Oh-ho wait, no... THAT'S BATMAN. And you're not Batman, are you? You will NEVER be Batman."

"That, uh... cut surprisingly deep. Well played."

"I can't believe you just left me with that guy!"

"Really? What part of that was out of character for me?"

"If you say '_______', I'm going to stab you in the eye."

"So anyway, I think we should go over what we know so far."

"Why? I figured the whole thing out hours ago."

"My sandwich! It was innocent...!"

"SHHH! I must grieve."

"What do you want?! Scalps?! I can get you scalps!"

"Oh, I see. You're an orphan blood man! Do you prefer your victims pre-drained, or do you like to get your hands dirty?"

"Oh, so you like them crucified! Well, that'll be a bit trickier, but I'm sure I can work something out!"

"...so, where are we on the whole orphan blood thing? We talking heads or liters?"

"For the love of-- We're not ghosts! We faked our deaths!"

"Seriously, ________? How many people would you have killed if we'd asked you to?"

"Thaaaaat's... not important."

"I DISAGREE."

"And Samson said, 'With an asses jawbone, I have made asses of them. With an asses jawbone, I have killed a thousand men.'"

"No no! You sighed! That's not nothing!"

"Boss... I get what you're going for. Bible quoting serial killer... its a great motif. Classic. But... its a big book. They're not all gonna be gems."

"Okay, bigshot! Name one verse that's scarier than that."

"Oh, I don't know. How about 'no flesh shall be spared'? Mark 13:20?"

"Holy shit! That's in the Bible...?"

"Have... you ever actually READ the Bible?"

"Look, we're getting off-track. I'm the guild leader, and I say my verse was better."

"Don't you think the whole 'Jesus tells me to kill' thing is... holding us back? Plus... you're not even all that good at it."

"How DARE you! The J-man's teachings inform everything I do!"

"That's not even a word! Much less--- ugh. Forget it. Let's just kill these guys and go."

"Stupid horse! That entrance was almost perfect!"

"Don't patronize me, Yoga Pants!"

"I'm afraid that's impossible, officer. The Lord has ordered these sinners dead, in the form of a guy who pays fifty bucks..."

"Fifty bucks? Selling yourselves a bit cheap, don't'cha think? You guys provide an essential, in-demand service, and you're DEFINITELY the leaders in your field. I mean, you GOTTA cash in on that name recognition."

"THAT'S WHAT I KEEP TELLING HIM.”

“The high-paying clients won't touch us. They take ONE LOOK at Reverend Killjoy over here, and think we're a bunch of crazy people!"

"You could reach a much wider demo if you just tone down the religious theme."

"What you guys need is a total rebranding. Ad campaign! PR blast! Get your faces out there! Let people know you're not just about the fire and brimstone! You are multifaceted, three-dimensional killing machines, and you have got a little something for everyone, because contract killing... is a beat we can all dance to."

"As payment, the lives of these sinners are now yours to command."

"Thanks! Jesus told me to say it."

"Huh... so I own you guys now. That's cool."

"Serves one per conspirator, may contain trace amounts of 'caaaaalllled iiiiit'."

"How did you realize I was lying?"

"Ah, well, that part was quite simple. You see: I'm not an idiot."

"Yeah, that'd do it."

"Of course... I do have some evidence. If you're into that sort of thing."

"My first thought was ___________. My second thought was 'Oh shit, window.' And with that, much like that window, the cracks in your facade started to form."

"As if anyone would let that moron in on a conspiracy. A friggin' landmine deals with pressure better than him, and would kill fewer people."

"You seem to have put a lot of thought into this..."

"Well, someone had to."

"BUT. This whole thing still leaves me with one question... WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!"

"Oh, right. Totally forgot. I should probably mention that he didn't do it."

"What? I just thought you guys might like to know. You seemed pretty interested in the subject."

"Well, I'm sorry. SHOCKINGLY, he wasn't very COOPERATIVE."

"How big is this web?! You're catching school buses in this thing!"

"Hey! We just gift-wrapped your friend's killer for you! You maybe wanna react here?"

"Ah! A valid point! But tell me. Do you think ______ would've trusted a stranger to do the job? Well then, you must think _______ was skilled enough to kill _______ one-on-one. Or perhaps smart enough to catch her unawares?"

"Oh my god, _______'s not the killer."

"Hey, people threatened to kill me for giving Pokemon: V&R a seven out of ten! At this point, I've learned to just assume the position."

"Hold it, I've got something I've been holding in for a while... That hat makes you look like a HIPSTER!"

"What? No! Bullshit! I had to go to a dark place to pull out that masterpiece! It was full of emotions that scare and confuse me. Now come on, get up! We're doing this again! And this time, you're not gonna fold just cause that hat makes you look like John Lennon joined the mafia!"

"See? There's no challenge in it! Verbal abuse, man. Its a lost art."

"You guys were the best slaves a boy could have."

"Fuck it! I tried! You all saw it!"

"We're gonna make sure you get the help you need, buddy. Behind this tree."

"Look, if this is about me being right about everything, I forgive you, okay?"

"Damn it, I'm trying to be nice and have a moment here, which isn't easy with SOME people being so LOUD!"

"Wait-- nononoNONONO---"