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ugh-yoongi · 10 months

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you’ve co-hosted a podcast with namjoon for three years; have known him even longer. the two of you have always been the picture of platonic, but that hasn’t stopped the internet from doing what the internet does. the shipping? a little weird at first, but you can understand it: two attractive twenty-somethings always in close proximity to one another, obvious (platonic!) chemistry—people have created ships for less. the fanfiction, though? also pretty funny… until you can’t stop thinking about it. 🎙️

pairing: namjoon x f. reader genre: podcast, friends to lovers au; crack, smut, fluff rating: explicit. minors do not interact. warnings: parasocial relationships galore, a m*n with a p*dcast, author abuses italics, swearing, alcohol, reader uses a pseudonym/nickname (piper) because writing the meta fanfiction scene would've been too weird without one and i refuse to use y/n, dialogue-heavy but it is a fic about a podcast, everyone is down horrendous, mentions of social media & fake r*ddit posts, ex-boyfriend yoongi but in a good, healthy way. let me know if i missed anything but mostly this is just two goofballs not realizing they're in love with one another. smut warnings: kissing, oral sex (f. receiving), fingering, unprotected vaginal sex (fiction), protected vaginal sex (nonfiction), a lil squirting, mild degradation, mentions of a p*ss kink but there is no actual pee i promise (...lest?), i didn't intend to write size kink but it's namjoon so it just showed up anyway, slight dom!joon, everyone orgasms. wordcount: 17.5k credits: this was entirely inspired by that one episode of the basement yard where frankie reads the smut fic of him and joe, so credits to both that author and that podcast. spotify, for their podcast name generator. astro-seek for helping me drag namjoon astrologically. an extra special, gigantic thanks to @effortandmore for writing the meta fanfic (3k of it, no less!) and not batting an eye when i said it could have pee in it as a joke. this is as much yours as it is mine. finally, @hot-soop and @the-boy-meets-evil for reading this over for me and telling me i'm funny. author's note: happy birthday, indigo! here i am to validate every fear you've ever had that the people you write porn about may one day read it. live and on air. :)

You’ve co-hosted a podcast with Namjoon for three years.

You can learn a lot about a guy in that amount of time.

None of it is especially salacious. You know all about his family and his dog and the brand of recycled paper towels he insists on buying in bulk. You know what he’d written his grad school thesis on and what he’d looked like in the thick of it, when he was staving off his fifth mental break of the week. You know how fidgety he gets when it’s closing in on Friday night and he’s got a date—how much he stresses over which restaurant to pick, which cologne, which expensive cashmere sweater to wear.

You also know what the internet thinks about him. Intimately.

Kim Namjoon, according to the internet, is peak husband material. He has cheeks ripe for pinching and thighs small countries would go to war to defend. He has a lap that doubles as a seat and dimples people want to get baptized in. He has Instagram selfies with hundreds of thousands of likes and comment sections full of intelligible keysmashes, especially the ones he posts from the gym.

Kim Namjoon, according to the internet, is a man written by a woman.

Looking at him now, you aren’t sure that’s true, you think people just need to raise their standards. Namjoon is just… Namjoon. He’s intelligent and kind and up to date on modern feminist theory, is all. And, sure, maybe in the current political landscape that puts him far above the rest of men, but the way the internet has latched onto him is a little concerning.

“There’s another post about whether or not we’re dating,” you say, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose.

sooo let’s be real here, we ALL think they’re dating, right?? Posted by u/pod-shipper 2 hours ago

Just like he always does, Namjoon huffs out a soft laugh, makes his way around to your side of the table. Puts his large hands on your shoulders as he leans in close to read from your screen, snorting every time he reads a sentence he finds particularly amusing. Whichever cologne he’d chosen this morning is, admittedly, very nice.

It’s sooo obvious, especially in the episodes they film and post on YouTube. The way they look at each other?? I don’t even look at my HUSBAND like that! (+1264) ↳ omg ur sooooo right! i could MAYBE buy that they aren’t full on dating, but they’ve def at least slept together. Namjoon is so 🔥🔥🔥 (+791) ↳ um how can namjoon be dating her when he’s already married to me 😌💅 (+3) ↳ For the millionth time, can we not speculate on their personal lives? This is weird and reinforces really harmful ideas that men and women can’t just be friends. (-51)

“How come they never talk about how hot you are?”

You can tell by the look on Namjoon’s face that he hadn’t meant to say that—or, if he did, he didn’t mean to say it like that, with an entire pout, eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline. “Cursed to be ugly and dumb,” you joke to ease the sudden tension, reading the comment that simply says you’d have to be the dumbest person alive to not sleep with Namjoon.

He scrunches his nose at that. Returns to his side of the table. “Yeah, I don’t think so, lots of people haven’t slept with me.” Starts to unpack all the gear from his bag before he says, “Hey, all that stuff—does it bother you?”

“What do you mean?” you answer, the corner of a protein bar stuck in your mouth. Namjoon always insists on recording at the most inconvenient times.

“People thinking we’re together,” he clarifies.

You shrug. “I dunno. Not really. Comes with the territory, I think, not to mention how much you love to overshare—”

“Hello?”

“I’m just saying,” you retort, hands raised in self-defense. “There really was no need for you to mention you blew your grad school stipend on a porn scam.” Namjoon looks affronted, like he can’t believe you’d stoop so low as to bring that up. “Or that you lost your virginity at fifteen.”

“We have a relationship podcast,” he states simply. “That’s kind of what we do, right? Talk about relationships? And the spectrum of human sexuality is part of that.”

You slump back in your chair as you quirk an eyebrow. “No one said it wasn’t, I just said you overshare. Which you do.”

“And that’s why there’s a dozen Reddit posts a week discussing whether or not we’re dating? Because I overshare?”

“Yeah, exactly. That’s the kind of behavior that leads to parasocial relationships. People latch onto that shit. Makes them think they’re your friend.” He glares. “Don’t give me that look, you know I’m right. It’s bad enough you’ve word-vomited all this highly personal information about yourself, but to not even do it under a pseudonym? It’s like you’re begging for trouble.”

Another comment he doesn’t even realize he’s making: “I don’t beg. For anything.”

To this day, you’re not sure why Namjoon asked you to co-host a podcast with him.

His reasoning had been simple: “You’re my best friend and we don’t agree on anything.” Hard to argue with that. Namjoon has seemingly endless patience, even in the face of things he shouldn’t entertain, and you… do not, to put it simply.

You’re not a cold person. Your fuse isn’t short. You’re just a little jaded, is all. Have far less propensity for bullshit than Namjoon does, so the two of you play well off each other. You end a sentence with a well-punctuated full stop and Namjoon’s right behind you to sigh and say maybe you shouldn’t be so hasty, not everything in the world can be so black or white.

Except some things are. Somewhere along the way, the podcast—which Namjoon had affectionately named Place Him Gently in the Garbage, even though some people should be shoved in there with force—had picked up a following. A big one. And now, every week, you’re inundated with emails ranging in severity. Sometimes people just want to vent after their tenth bad date in a row or share funny stories, and Namjoon lets you take the lead on those, but sometimes it’s a little more serious. That’s where Namjoon shines, all that endless patience, and people love him for it.

“What’s on the agenda today?” he asks, accepting a thick stack of papers from Jungkook.

Ah, Jungkook.

You aren’t sure what he actually does. Some kind of social media manager, which is obvious from the wildly out-of-context clips he posts of you to TikTok, and it’s his responsibility to go through the thousands of emails you get from listeners, but aside from that all you’ve got are your suspicions that he just sticks around to swindle Namjoon out of more and more money.

“I’m in a silly goofy mood,” comes Jungkook’s reply, and you let out a witch cackle as Namjoon winces. Nothing good ever comes of Jungkook being in a silly goofy mood, and that’s quite alright by you.

Fifteen minutes later finds you with a camera in your face that you greet with an unamused, flat stare. Jungkook is used to it by now. Just films for a few seconds before turning his attention to an unaware Namjoon. Head down, pen and highlighter going a mile a minute as he pores over the stack of papers with all the doggedness and eagle-eyed stare of a literature professor.

That’s the thing about Namjoon—he takes this really seriously. So do you, but not in the ways Namjoon does. He’s all skill and determination and you’re color commentary. It works. It clearly works, so you aren’t too bent out of shape about it, but sometimes you worry. Namjoon takes this really seriously and sometimes you worry that he takes it too seriously, that he carries the burdens and worries of all these strangers, that he’s trying to solve and fix things that aren’t his responsibility to solve and fix.

So he takes it really seriously and you don’t take it as seriously as you maybe should, and everything is by design. Balanced.

Twenty minutes later finds you staring across the table at Namjoon, who asks, “Are you ready?” and does one last equipment check before he launches into, “Welcome back to another episode of Place Him Gently in the Garbage with Namjoon and Piper. What’s new with you, Pipe? Any fun news?”

Pipe. It drives you nuts. Feels like nails on a chalkboard. “I see you almost every single day,” you respond dryly. “But for the sake of entertainment, I’m thinking about getting a cat.”

“A cat?” Namjoon parrots, and his eyebrows disappear beneath his fringe because he knows what that means.

You’ve co-hosted a podcast with Namjoon for three years, but you’ve known him even longer.

Since your first year of college, which is also when you met Yoongi. Yoongi, your ex. Yoongi, the person you’d been with for six years and had planned a life around. Yoongi, now one of your closest friends, because the two of you still love one another but no longer in that way, which is fine. But also—Yoongi, allergic to cats.

So, yeah. Namjoon knows what that means, and he has the good sense not to mention it. Unlike him, you’re intensely private and keep your cards close to your chest. Your listeners don’t even know your real name, let alone that you’d gone through a breakup a year ago.

“What kind of cat?” he continues, like his entire world hasn’t just been turned upside-down.

You shrug. “Eh, I don’t know. Probably one that’s been in the shelter a long time, I guess. I’m not too fussy, you know?”

“Right, a cat is a cat,” Namjoon says, thinking he’s done something. You and Jungkook gasp at the same time. “What? Why are you giving me that look?”

“Because that’s a fucked up thing to say! A cat is not just a cat. They have little personalities, just like people. You’ve got—”

“But you just said you’re not fussy,” he interjects. “And I know they have personalities and that you have to find one that suits your lifestyle! Like, you can’t have one of those really cool cats that likes to go kayaking and shit, it’d never work—”

“What does that mean? Why couldn’t I have a cool cat?”

“Hey, all you cool cats and kittens,” Namjoon mocks, and you can tell he thinks he’s done something again, but his impression falls flatter than flat. An awkward silence fills the studio. He coughs. “Anyway. Do you have pictures?”

“Yeah. I also have a list of candidates ranked by how cool their names are. Number five, Casserole.”

“That’s cute.”

“Mhm,” you agree, “but Casserole is a kitten, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of responsibility.”

“They do say you should adopt kittens in pairs.”

“And that’s how they get you. You want one kitten and they talk you into two, and before you know it you’ve got, like, twelve cats. Number four, Party Girl.”

“Sick name.”

“Number three, Toddler.”

“Toddler?”

“Number two, Flat.”

“Just Flat? Understandable.”

“And, finally, number one: Human Torch.”

“Yoooo.” Namjoon laughs. “You have to adopt Human Torch. Let me see.” You pull up a picture on your phone and hand it over. “Okay, for our listeners—Human Torch is a young, male Domestic Short Hair. He has stripes. I don’t know what that’s called.”

“Tabby,” Jungkook chimes in.

“Jungkook says he’s a tabby. He’s cute. Adopt him.”

You return your phone to your pocket. “Maybe. I still think I want an older cat, but I’ll consider it. What about you, though? Any new dating horror stories to share?”

Ah, the dating horror stories. Your most dedicated shippers are convinced they’re fake, that Namjoon just makes them up on the spot to keep them off your trail. If only. Not in the if only they were fake and Namjoon and I were actually dating kind of way, but the holy shit one of my closest friends is a fucking disaster and it’s a little embarrassing kind of way.

“Not really,” he answers. “I’ve got a date this Friday, though. Trying to decide if dinner and a movie is too boring.”

“It’s a classic for a reason. What are you gonna see, My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3?”

“Three?” Namjoon emphasizes, truly sounding scandalized. “Since when are there three? I haven’t even seen one or two.”

“Okay, first of all, the original is a classic and it’s a crime you haven’t seen it.”

“And second of all?”

“There is no second of all. Repeat point one.”

He snorts. “I’m not gonna see that, anyway. Maybe the re-release of Howl’s Moving Castle.”

“Subbed or dubbed, though?”

“Are you trying to get me canceled?”

“Absolutely.”

“I like both,” he chickens out. “Now, let’s stop wasting time and get to the point of the show.”

“Talking about cats is a waste of time?”

“I—no, we’ve just got a lot on the agenda today.”

“Like what?”

“Well, there’s lots to talk about on the celebrity front—”

Namjoon loves this part. As esteemed and educated as he is, not even he is immune to good old celebrity gossip. (Inside him there are two wolves.) Lives for it. Texts you about it at all hours of the night. Sends you links to Reddit threads with hundreds of comments. Has more opinions on Celebrity Big Brother than he does on Ludwig Wittgenstein, sometimes, and when that’s the case you know you’re in for a long evening. You’ve never even seen an episode of Celebrity Big Brother.

But Namjoon loves it, so you’ve become fond of it by association. Reminds you a bit of Yoongi and his love for sports and sports anime.

“—one should we start with?”

“Whatever you want,” you answer, because you haven’t been paying a lick of attention and you aren’t sure it matters anyway. Namjoon can talk to a wall on a good day, but he’s an entirely different beast once mundane, innocuous celeb gossip gets involved.

And even though you hadn’t been paying attention, it seems like this was the right thing to say, because Namjoon smiles so wide his dimples crater his face. “Cool. Let’s start with Taryn Manning. Did you see that bizarre—”

“Who?”

“What?”

“Who is Taryn Manning?”

Namjoon looks a little dumbstruck. Even Jungkook’s arching an eyebrow at you. “Are you serious? She was in Orange is the New Black and Crossroads.”

“The Britney Spears movie?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Weird, okay. Continue.”

Your co-host shoots you a very pointed look. “I will, thanks. Anyway, she posted a video on social media talking about this affair she had with a married man. Like, she pulled over on the side of the road to record this. Said she can’t stand the man’s wife because she called her a quote-unquote lunatic.”

“I—huh, thought we weren’t supposed to say that anymore. Alright.”

“But wait, it gets even more bizarre. Listen to this quote—and this is direct. This is a direct quote from the video, I can’t stop thinking about it: ‘Don’t you ever threaten me when your husband came to me to get his butthole licked.’ Can you—”

“What? Namjoon, what in the fuck—”

“It’s crazy, right? She was gonna buy this guy a boat.”

“Namjoon, this is a family show, you can’t just talk about ass-eating unprompted.”

“No it’s not.”

“Well, you still shouldn’t talk about ass-eating unprompted. It’s unbecoming.”

“You’re unbecoming,” Namjoon fires back, because he can’t help it. The words are out of his mouth before he can think. “Sorry, that was out of line.”

You sigh. Know whatever look Jungkook is catching on his camera right now is exasperated and pointed, the corners of your mouth probably tugged up just a hint. “Unbecoming, like I said.” Namjoon scoffs. “Anyway, so this actress was gonna buy this married guy a boat and was eating his ass?”

“Yeah. Apparently it was her friend’s husband? They all went to a Taylor Swift concert together.”

“Jesus, this keeps getting worse. Big year for Hollywood cheaters.”

“It is, right? Cheaters and divorces. Something in the water, I guess.”

“I saw the astrology girlies saying a bunch of planets are in retrograde, so—”

“Can you explain that to me? Like, what does it mean for a planet to be in retrograde? Why is it causing divorces?”

“I don’t know, I’m not an astrology girlie. That’s why I said the astrology girlies. What are your big three, though?”

“What’s that?”

“Your sun, moon, and rising signs.”

“How do I find that out?”

“Ugh,” you intone, “don’t worry about it, I’ll do it myself. What time were you born?”

Namjoon rattles off a time.

You grab your laptop. Pull up the page, type in Namjoon’s date of birth and birthplace, and wait. Then you’re staring at a circle with a bunch of lines in it that also don’t make a lick of sense to you. You roll your lips to keep from laughing and school your voice into something deadly serious. “Bad news: it says you’re a virgin.”

“Virgo,” Namjoon corrects, not taking the bait. “I already knew that.”

You scroll a little further down the page. “Your moon is in Sagittarius. Oh god, listen to this, they’ve got you pegged: ‘The greatest need is to always search for something. In order to feel safe you need a philosophy or belief’—”

“Haaa, that’s not—”

“—’You need to have a goal or mission that gives your life meaning. Your faith must be voluntary and it is a paradox that fighting against dogmas may lead you to other dogmas.’ Yeah, that’s you.”

“That could apply to anyone,” he argues. “There are seven-billion people on this planet; I’d imagine a sizable amount of them would say that also describes them.”

“Hm, sounds like your faith in astrology is not yet voluntary. Did you know you’re a Scorpio rising?”

“No. I’m sure you’re gonna tell me all about it, though.”

You smile. “Correct. ‘People with Scorpio on the Ascendant need to fight against dark and destructive power in their life.’ Is that true?”

“Yeah, you’re the dark and destructive power. You keep sidetracking me and we need to get to the point of the podcast.” He grabs the stack of papers Jungkook had given him. Looks more highlighter than paper, if you’re being honest. “I guess Jungkook thought we needed a lighthearted kind of day.”

“That was nice of him, considering what he gave us last week. I guess we’re allowed to have faith in humanity today.”

To your left, Jungkook scoffs.

“Alright,” Namjoon starts, putting on his Very Serious Podcast Guy voice, “first up we’ve got a question from one of our listeners in Canada. It says, ‘Hi, Piper and Namjoon. I recently agreed to go on a blind date with a friend of a friend. She said he was a bit old-fashioned but really talked him up so I thought I was in good hands—and then he showed up to get me in a ‘67 GTO and exclusively referred to me as doll. He didn’t use my name once. I’m torn, because he was really nice and I had a good time otherwise, but this is weird, right? Should I see him agai—’”

“No,” you interject.

“Can I finish?”

“You don’t have to. This guy sounds greasy.”

Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose. “And why is that?”

“Ignoring the fact that this guy has arguably one of the lamest classic cars around, he didn’t use their name once? Not once, in all the time they spent together? That’s really disrespectful.”

“Some people are just pet name people,” Namjoon argues.

“With absolute strangers, though? It’s really giving the impression that he didn’t even know it, not to mention some people are uncomfortable with pet names. The whole shtick is super lame.”

“I agree it sounds a bit misguided, but—”

Ignoring Namjoon, you say, “Sorry you had to go on a date with the ghost of less-cool James Dean. Into the garbage he goes.”

And, just like he’s done a million times before, Namjoon rolls his eyes and says, “If you really like this guy and want to see him again, a bit of communication will go a long way. Tell him the pet name made you uncomfortable—if it did—and offer to pick him up for the next date. I don’t think he’s completely destined for the garbage, yet.”

“You’re just saying that because you don’t have a license. You probably think a 1967 Pontiac GTO is the pinnacle of romance. That’s probably like picking someone up on a Specialized Aethos to you, eh?”

“That’s a fifteen-thousand dollar bike, I’ll have you know.”

You groan. “Oh my god.”

Ep: #183 - Namjoon is a Virgin

I think Namjoon had the right idea on this one. Sure, the car can be considered lame, but I think a lot of men are deeply insecure and therefore overcompensate when it comes to dating. Women are hard to impress when they have unlimited options. You have to stand out, so I’m glad he advocated for him. Piper can come off like such a misandrist sometimes. (-649) ↳ just shut up bro namjoon would fuckin hate u (+204) ↳ Imagine caring about something like this when they’re getting a cat together 🙄 (+19)

You think about the cat thing for nearly a week.

Adopting a cat is certainly not the worst idea you’ve ever had, and truth be told it’s been a little lonely, living by yourself. No more Yoongi in your space; no more Holly. So, having a new little friend around might do you some good.

It’s just—

It’s a big commitment, and there’s also the dog sitting-shaped elephant in the room. Ending things on good terms means you’re still Yoongi’s second-choice sitter whenever he has to go out of town, and while you love Holly dearly (the two of you had adopted him together, after all), he’s a lot like his father in a lot of ways.

Should I get a cat, you type out, and it’s only been in Yoongi’s inbox a few seconds before the most unflattering picture you’ve ever taken of him is flashing across your screen.

“Are you dying?” you ask, because Yoongi doesn’t call you for much else.

And you already know what his response is going to be. “We’re all dying.”

“Lighten up, Yoongi. One might say being so existentially nihilistic before noon causes wrinkles.”

There’s a split-second pause. “It’s nine p.m.”

“Sure, but it’s before tomorrow’s noon, so it still counts.”

“Whatever. Listen, before you adopt that cat, I need a favor.”

“You going out of town again?”

“Yeah. Shouldn’t be long, though. A week at the most, five days if I’m lucky.”

“That’s fine, bring him over whenever. Yijeong’s busy?”

This pause is far, far longer. “No,” comes Yoongi’s eventual response, but it’s slow. Unsure. A two-letter word has never taken so long to say in the history of ever. “He’s, uh. Coming with me?”

Oh, you think. This is where your ex awkwardly and hesitantly breaks the news of his new relationship. You’ve known this day was coming, and this is what you get for staying friends with him. “This is a fanfiction plot,” you accuse. “Hot, mysterious man moves into a gaudy apartment complex after ending a long-term relationship and meets his equally-hot and mysterious neighbor and they fall in love.”

“I—that’s not—my apartment is not gaudy.”

“Yes it is. There’s a giant gold bust of a weird bird in the lobby.”

“Weird bird?” he parrots. “It’s a swan.”

“I see you’re not denying the in-love-with-your-neighbor accusations.”

“Am I on trial?” Yoongi retorts, and it’s such a Yoongi thing to say when what he means is, is this okay? He means, are we able to talk about this without it being weird? He means, I won’t ever say as much out loud, but your acceptance means a lot to me, and I’d like for you to give me this.

So you lower your voice and soften the edges because it’s not really something to joke about, and you say, “No, of course you’re not on trial,” and Yoongi knows what you mean. “And if you were, you'd get locked up for fifty years. You can’t lie for shit.”

There’s a beat of silence before he clears his throat, mutters a thanks that is so quiet you almost don’t catch it. “Send me pictures of the cats.”

Later on, once you’re freshly-showered and tucked into bed with a candle and a book (Eloge de l’amour by Alain Badiou at Namjoon’s insistence and request), your phone buzzes with a text from Yoongi—

Yoongi: toddler is a fucking hilarious name for a cat but so is flat Yoongi: it’s a tie for me You: Okay well pick one 🙄 Yoongi: yijeong says get both You: Both???? Is he paying my vet bills? Yoongi: kinda out of line to proposition him for money. flat is also good with dogs, js You: If he’s now being raised by you two, my perfect, well-behaved son is probably long gone. Does he even count as a dog anymore? Yoongi: me and yijeong both say fuck off Yoongi: holly too. he says he doesn’t miss you anymore and he’s not coming over now Yoongi has added Yijeong to the group Yoongi has changed the group name to #ThirdWheelChat Yijeong: Please don’t drag me into this. Also I did not say “fuck off” You have changed the group name to People Who Have Seen Yoongi Naked Yoongi: fuck you

You should’ve known something was going on with Jungkook, because it’d started like this:

(When you and Namjoon started the podcast three years ago, it was in the living room of his apartment.

Surrounded by books and plants. He loved to record in the afternoons back then—Namjoon loved to say it was because of his grad school schedule, but you’ve always suspected he just wanted to preen in the golden hour light, much like he’s doing now.

“Is this really necessary?” Jungkook whines from his spot on the couch. He’s already swindled Namjoon out of two bags of microwavable popcorn and three cans of sparkling water. “It’s a Saturday afternoon; I could be doing something so much more fun than this.”

Namjoon scoffs. “Are you saying this isn’t fun?”

“Yeah. It sucks, actually. This could’ve been an email.”

And because Namjoon is accomplished, mature, and absolutely incapable of not taking Jungkook’s bait, the space between his brows creases as he sends a murderous glare Jungkook’s way. “Stop eating my food, then. And drinking my drinks. And lounging on my couch like that—”

“I’m not lounging,” Jungkook argues.

“You’re manspreading all over the leather!”

“This is how I sit!”

“Well, knock it off! My couch is only for fun and people who think I’m fun!”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “So you fuck on it?”

“What?”

“What other fun things could you possibly do on a couch?”

Namjoon blinks. “Watch… watch a movie?”

Jungkook groans, throws himself backwards against the pillows as if he’s suffering a Victorian ailment. “Jesus. No wonder you can’t score a second date.”

“Okay, that was a little uncalled for. There are a ton of reasons a person might not want a second date, and no one is obligated to go out with me—”

“Uh-huh. Anyway—”

You clear your throat. Try to hide your own can of seltzer you’d taken from Namjoon’s fridge in the midst of his and Jungkook’s bickering. “Not trying to be rude, but I have an appointment at the shelter at three. If, y’know. You wouldn’t mind speeding this up a little.”

“Oh! Yeah, of course—”

“Oh, so you’ll speed this up for her but not—”

Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose. “She,” he begins, jerking his thumb in your direction, “isn’t needlessly complaining and actually has someplace to be.”)

It was just a quick little rendezvous in Namjoon’s living room to come up with a rough draft for the following month’s episodes. He couldn’t do it over text because he’d fallen down the steps at his office and landed on his ass on the corner of a step and his phone had been in his back pocket. Cracked clean in half. And he couldn’t do it over email because he—rightfully—knew Jungkook would ignore them because he has his inbox set up to send all of Namjoon’s personal emails to the trash.

But Jungkook holds onto things like that. Grudges. Loves to let Namjoon think bygones are bygones and pop up a few days later with some evil scheme. Hence:

“What is this?”

Jungkook smirks. Rocks back on his heels. “It’s fanfiction.”

“I can see that, but… why?”

This is where Jungkook shines: the ominous, cheshire cat grin; the aw, shucks demeanor that gaslights Namjoon into thinking Jungkook couldn’t possibly be fucking with him. “Well, you were having trouble coming up with ideas for episodes, and there’s an email in there from someone whose partner reads really expli—”

“Jungkook, this is fanfiction about me.”

You can’t help the laugh that escapes you. Of all the weird shit you’ve seen on the internet (and there’s been a lot), fanfiction of people you know—your friends—was something you’d managed to escape. Probably by virtue of not knowing anyone famous enough to warrant fanfiction being written about them.

But you should’ve known. You really, really should’ve known.

“Oh my god?”

You’re not sure who says it. Could be you or Namjoon, but the sentiment is the same. He mouths a what the fuck at you that’s met with a shrug. You’re in uncharted territory now, too. “Where did you even find this?” you ask, taking the stack of papers from Namjoon. “And why did you print it out?”

“Because I’m going to track down whoever wrote it and get them to autograph it. Then I’m going to buy a nice frame and hang it on the wall behind him, so we never forget this historical moment in Place Him Gently in the Garbage lore.”

“It’s a podcast,” Namjoon deadpans, “how can it have lore? And how much lore can there possibly be?”

“It’s the internet,” you concede. “The lore possibilities are endless. Don’t tempt them.”

Jungkook nods sagely, well-versed in the degeneracy of the internet. “Yeah, that’s how you end up with shit like 4chan.”

“4chan? There’s Space Jam porn on there.”

As the youngest, all Jungkook can do is roll his eyes. “Sometimes explaining this shit to you feels like trying to teach old people how to rotate PDFs—”

Namjoon scoffs. “I’m not that bad. I know how to rotate a PDF.”

Wow, Jungkook mouths. “Anyway, back to the fanfiction—”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Namjoon interjects. He looks at you. “It’s weird, right? Like, it’s weird that people have written this about us?”

About us.

Your scope of the world narrows to the size of a pinhead. It’d just been about Namjoon before. This is fanfiction about me, he’d said, and you hadn’t been included in that. Now it’s written about us and you’re included.

“I—what?”

“It’s about us,” Namjoon repeats.

Jungkook rolls his lips. “It’s about the two of you fucking, to be specific.”

“Can you not—”

“Fucking a lot,” Jungkook continues. “So much fucking.”

Namjoon looks at you, and it’s all you can do to keep from laughing. The look on his face is pure bewilderment, both that Jungkook has cooked up this idea and is hell-bent on executing it and that he remains employed. And maybe it’s a little bit of nerves, too, because neither of you are ignorant of the risks. Reading fanfiction about yourselves—about the two of you as a couple, specifically, or at least two people who have sex—is weird. Not something you can unread.

And maybe it’s because you’re so determined to not make it weird that you send Namjoon a cheeky, exaggerated wink, shrug your shoulders, and say, “I’ll need a couple drinks, but I’m down.”

Jungkook throws his head back and cackles wildly, and that look of bewilderment on Namjoon’s face morphs into something else. Trepidation, maybe; definitely disbelief, because sometimes he lets himself get swept away in Jungkook’s schemes, but it’s rare that you follow suit.

As Jungkook continues to laugh, you wonder if you should’ve said no.

Namjoon has two stipulations: the two of you have to film the episode completely alone, and he, too, needs to be a little drunk.

The latter? Piece of cake, considering Namjoon has become some sort of whiskey aficionado in recent years. His drinking is streamlined and to the point—he knows exactly how much and what to drink to get him where he wants to be. You can’t say he isn’t efficient.

The former, though? Borderline impossible. From the second Namjoon states his terms, Jungkook is having none of it. Argues that he’s the one who found the story and the one who cleared it with the author, so he deserves to witness the fruits of his labor.

“No,” Namjoon repeats for the nth time, “no way. I’ll barely be able to do this with just her, let alone both of you.”

And that—that doesn’t bother you, right? You force a laugh, because why would it bother you?

There are few secrets between you and Namjoon, except your respective sex lives have been staunchly off-limits. Namjoon could be a virgin for all you know, and as you study him—the way he keeps bobbing his leg, the slight shake in his hands—you wonder if that’s the reason he’s being so weird about this.

It’s just a story.

Fiction.

Most people don’t have to worry about someone writing stories about them fucking their friends. If they do, you reckon even less actually read them. So, sure, it’s a little strange, but people from all over the world send in stranger stuff all the time, don’t they? It’s literally the reason you’re in this predicament.

Eventually Jungkook agrees. His whining has gotten him nowhere, so he just throws up his hands. Posts a cryptic little “u guys won’t believe what the next patreon ep is lmao” that sends the internet into a frenzy. Doubles your Patreon numbers almost immediately, and both you and Namjoon do a good job of pretending the pressure isn’t overwhelming.

Jesus. You have to read explicit fanfiction about yourselves. On camera.

Namjoon gets caught up with work and isn’t available until the weekend, so you’re forced to sit with the nerves for a few days. Not too bad at first, but you’re nearly coming out of your skin by Thursday with the need to know. You’re well-versed in the world of fanfiction, but this is fanfiction about you: your name, your likeness, maybe even your personality.

What will they know of Namjoon, though?

Will they get it right, the way he looks with his jaw clenched? How impossibly deep his voice can go, both when it’s raspy with sleep and when he’s fully at ease? Will the Namjoon in the story be closer to the Namjoon you know, or the version of himself he presents to the public?

And you’ve known him a long time—long enough that there are few secrets between you, but you don’t know the most intimate parts. All the parts the internet loves to speculate on. All the little gaps that, apparently, need to be filled in by fanfiction.

Will they know what Namjoon looks like when he gets off?

No, you scold yourself, jerking awkwardly like you’ve been burned, and neither will you.

Because you are not going to think about this. Your thoughts are not going to go there. Namjoon is your friend, and you’ve listened to him scold an endless amount of men on the podcast for exactly this behavior. Sexualizing their friends. You’re not going to do it, too.

Maybe that’s why you’re kind of seeing double when it comes time to record. Namjoon needed an extra shot and offered you one as well. You’d necked it without a second thought and now you’re here, trying to ignore the slight tilt of the room as Namjoon adjusts the camera.

“How’s the shot look?” he asks, gesturing vaguely behind him at his laptop screen because Jungkook had refused to lend you his fancy cameras if he wasn’t allowed to be involved.

It’s a completely normal question.

It’s a question you’ve asked and answered a million times.

Except—there’s something horribly distracting about Namjoon in this moment. The outline of his back muscles through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. The way the sleeves are tight around his biceps. He’s always been a gym rat, always carries around a protein shake that smells and looks completely foul, but you can’t remember it ever being this obvious.

And you take too long to answer, because Namjoon straightens up just enough to send you a concerned look. Which does not help. You are not imagining what else might cause his brows to pinch like that, what might have his lips parting, have sweat dotting his hairline.

You swallow. Hard.

“Looks fine,” you manage to say. He’s still staring. Are you on fire? You feel like you’re on fire, which would make sense. Would explain Namjoon’s sweating and concerned stare and the fact that he cannot stop staring at you. “Maybe a tiny bit to the right if we’re being picky,” you tack on, hoping it’ll break whatever spell the two of you are ensnared in.

It works. “To the—the right, yeah, makes sense,” he rambles.

He moves it an inch to the left.

—

Things are tense, to say the least.

Recording hasn’t been this awkward since your first episode, or maybe ever. You’re sat across from one another like you always are, and usually Namjoon would be making quip after quip by now, talking endlessly until Jungkook shushed him long enough to get the intro filmed. Now, there’s just silence.

“Should we…?” Namjoon startles. Bangs his knee on the underside of the table and drops a string of curses. “Sorry, are you—”

“I’m fine,” he says, cutting you off. He gestures vaguely toward the camera. “I’ll just… yeah.”

Showtime.

You wipe your hands on your jeans, unsure of when they got so damp. Unsure of when you’d grown so nervous, too, because you’d been fine an hour ago. Had strolled in with two cups of tea and a little too much confidence, giddy at what you were about to do.

Maybe the nerves had shown up alongside the alcohol. This sounds reasonable, and you do not, under any circumstance or for any reason, think about Namjoon’s back. Or his biceps.

Namjoon makes it through the intro, dimples deep and wide as he smiles, and you also don’t think about the way his voice cracks and gets a little breathy when he introduces you. It’s only because he’d been drinking, and the flush on his cheeks attests to that. The same flush that creeps down his neck, still a little sweaty; disappears beneath the hemline of his shirt.

“—Jungkook had. Right, Piper?”

Now it’s your turn to startle, and there’s not much you can do to hide the obvious except ask Namjoon to redo the shot. Because it’s bad enough the internet already overanalyzes every move you make, every word choice, every instance you’ve stared at Namjoon a second longer than they thought you would—this is a blatant display of… affectedness.

“Sorry,” you say, “I wasn't paying attention. Can we redo it?”

You’re expecting a playful scolding. A ha ha, get it together, because that’s what you usually get. But there’s nothing aside from Namjoon studying you and nodding. Asking if you’re okay. Saying, “Is this—this is weird, right? Is it too weird? Maybe we shouldn’t—”

An out. Namjoon is giving you an out, and you should take it, you know you should take it, so there’s absolutely no reason at all you shake your head and say, “No, no, it’s fine! I think I’m just a little, uh. Drunk?”

“Are you sure? We can—”

“It’s fine, Joon,” you insist. “Besides, it’ll be good content, right?”

“Good content,” he parrots. “Yeah, for sure.” He fidgets in his seat, runs his hands down the span of his thighs. Very, very thick thighs. “I’ll grab us some water.”

You faceplant onto the table as soon as he’s out of the room. When did his thighs get so thick?

But the water helps. Cures whatever strange, insatiable thirst has come over you, because you feel much more human after a few glasses. Less drunk, too, which makes sense. Yoongi could barely escape your drunken, horny wrath when the two of you were together, so you chalk it up to a Pavlovian response.

Namjoon does the intro again. Introduces you strong and steady, not a hint of nerves, and explains, with a fresh blush taking over his upper body, what the episode’s going to be about. “Someone wrote fanfiction about us,” he says, scratching at the back of his neck. “It’s, uh, pretty explicit. Jungkook thought it’d be funny if we read it.”

You snort. “He might get fired, depending on how this goes.”

“He should get fired regardless,” Namjoon deadpans. “Anyway, we have permission from the author to read this so don’t come after us, and, as always, we’ll put all the credits in the video description.”

“Special shoutout to Jungkook, though, who was not allowed to be here with us for this momentous occasion.”

Namjoon laughs. “I’m sure he’s having plenty of fun at home.” You both pause. “That’s not—I’m not implying anything with that! I just meant—you know, like. He’s hanging out and enjoying his day off.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Moving on. I have two copies of this. Do you want your own?”

You grin, wicked and wide. “Nah, just read it to me.”

“Making me do all the work,” he huffs. “Typical.”

“There’s a stack of papers in front of you that might say otherwise.”

It’s clear you catch him off-guard. He cocks an eyebrow, opens and shuts his mouth a few times like a goldfish. An obvious question sits on the tip of his tongue: You think you’d be in charge? Instead he coughs, jerks his head to the side, and says, “I guess we’ll see.”

It sounds like a challenge.

Thirty seconds is all you get before Namjoon’s shuffling his stack of papers and clearing his throat. Asking if you’re ready and jumping right into it once you say you are. Reads the first few lines like they’re some old lecture notes, and they’re conservative and safe-for-work enough that you start to relax.

And then Namjoon reads, “A louder one wonders if Namjoon is a pet name person—if he’d call her ‘honey,’ or ‘gummy bear,’ ‘babe,’ or ‘baby,’” and you choke.

“Gummy bear?”

Namjoon laughs along with you—the weird one that almost sounds like a dog panting. “You want me to call you gummy bear?”

“I want you to call me a Lyft,” you snark. “I’m leaving.”

He continues:

And that’s how it starts, wandering thoughts, wandering fingers—the first time Piper comes to the thought of Namjoon calling her baby, pushing inside her, showing her that he definitely doesn’t beg, but she does… Well, she’s a little ashamed. She’s apparently got a reputation to maintain, anyway, not to mention a friendship.

His eyes leave the paper and lock onto you. “Or maybe you’d prefer baby?”

“Fuck off.”

Weeks after that first time, it’s become a habit, thinking about Namjoon as something more than a friend. It’s confusing and a little mortifying and it’s starting to affect her in ways she hadn’t expected. When they record, she feels fidgety—she’s jumpy when he gets close, has all the stupid obvious tells of an unwanted crush: her breath hitches when he whispers (why the fuck is he whispering in her ear, anyway? Doesn’t he know what that does to a person?) inside jokes to her so Jungkook can’t hear, her heart rate spikes when their fingers accidentally brush, she feels itchy and hot and a little embarrassed whenever he holds eye contact with her. It’s terrible, and it’s only made worse by the way he’s doing all of those things more than usual. Or, at least she thinks he is, thinks she’s not imagining the way his eyes linger on her more than she can remember happening before or the way she’s caught him staring at her lips when she chews on the end of her pencil mindlessly.

You’ve completely forgotten how to breathe.

Namjoon’s staring again. You need to salvage this. He’s only on paragraph three and you’re already squirming in your chair and imagining things that are not appropriate. So you roll your lips, return his teasing. “Well? Do you stare at my lips?”

It works. “No,” he scowls.

“You sure?” you joke, morphing your face into something half-pout, half-duck face.

“We’re never gonna finish this if you keep making comments.”

“You started it,” you point out. “Go on, then.”

There’s some dialogue. Some prose that hits way too close to home, has you wondering who on earth wrote this and how they plucked every single thought from deep within your psyche. A pang of fear that maybe you haven’t been as subtle as you’d thought all these years. A moment to confirm to yourself that, no, you haven’t been harboring a secret, deeply-buried crush on Namjoon.

Then he reads—

And then he kisses her. It’s greedy and hot, his lips like a branding iron. She moans a little against her better judgment when he licks at the seam of her mouth, and in return, she can feel Namjoon’s lips curve into a smile against her own. It’s better than she’d been imagining it, really. He’s a good kisser—firm at the right times, soft when she needs it, careful but not cautious. He holds her jaw with one hand and keeps her right where he wants her beneath him (as if she’d want to move, anyway). When their lips finally part, he rests his forehead on hers. It’s intimate in a way she hadn’t expected, and he looks at her as if she’s the answer to every question. Finally, he whispers, “What’re we doing, Piper?” His lips are still wet and pink and a little swollen from kissing, and she barely hears the question—she’s too busy thinking about kissing him again, about pulling his plump bottom lip between her teeth, teasing and… “Kissing,” she says finally. “What do you want?” he asks, sinking to his knees in front of her. And if that alone isn’t an answer to his question… “Whatever you’re willing to give,” she replies. It feels like she’s wanted this forever, this and so much more. Once she got the idea in her head, it’s hard to know if she ever felt differently, ever truly thought they could just be friends. Or, if in the back of her mind, in the dark corners that she never lets see daylight, she always knew she wanted Namjoon. Always knew she loved him.

—and everything goes right out the fucking window.

Namjoon sits with those words for a moment. Scans the paper in his hands and frowns a little when he confirms what you already know. “The rest is, uh. Porn.”

“That is why we’re here.”

“Last chance to back out.”

“I’m not scared,” you lie. “Are you? You’re the one who keeps stalling.”

He huffs. “You’re a pain in my ass,” he retorts, and then nothing is all that funny anymore.

Because Namjoon was right: the rest is straight-up porn. He’s barely able to read the part where he goes down on you with a straight face, turning a deep shade of crimson. Stutters through the part where you pull his hair, and that is not something you needed to know about your friend. You think he loses his grasp of language entirely when he reads, “When he slides a long finger into her and brushes past her most sensitive spot, she arches into him and lets his name fall from her lips in a soft cry. Piper, notorious skeptic, is a babbling, trembling mess as she gets closer to her orgasm,” because all the words are garbled together, producing nothing but gibberish. You think he’s ready to keel over and die when he reads, “Namjoon pulls away briefly, lips slick with her juices, and licks over his top one, pausing to tell her how good she tastes before he dives back in.”

“That was nice of them to include. I appreciate their attention to detail in regards to my personal hygiene.”

“This is so embarrassing,” he whines.

You roll your eyes good-naturedly. “Gimme. I’ll finish it.” He hands over the papers immediately.

Except you regret it immediately. The words you’re staring at are not words you ever thought you’d read or recite in your entire life. Not even for a million dollars. “Oh,” you say instead.

“See? Not as easy as it looks.”

“This is really embarrassing,” you confirm. “I might need another shot.”

“Y-yeah. Alcohol sounds good.”

Namjoon staggers forward obligingly, looks completely fucked out and pliant, willing to do whatever she asks. She remembers the sounds he made when she pulled his hair, wonders if he likes being bossed around, if he wants her to tell him what to do, to be a little mean to him. Maybe it’s different from her dreams, maybe he will beg her. She wants him so badly, she’d do anything for him. So, she pulls his briefs down to expose his absurdly large member, already mostly hard, and slaps it. Gently at first to see how he’ll react, and when he shudders and jerks his hips, she does it again, a little harder. “Look at you,” she whispers, “such a needy boy.” He whimpers at that, eyes pleading. “Please, Piper…” he whines. “Please what?” “Please let me fuck you,” he begs. She wants to, wants him so much, wants to feel him stretch her open, and from the looks of his cock, thick and long and drooling with precum, he could. “Should I?” she asks. She musters all her confidence to keep the condescending tone up. It feels wrong given how desperate she is to get him inside her, but it also seems to be getting him worked up and equally as desperate. “Do you even know what to do with that big, stupid cock?” Namjoon’s cock twitches, and he begs, “I—I’ll fuck you so good, Piper…. I know how, I promise. Just… please?”

“Oh my god,” the two of you say in unison.

You so badly want to ask if this is biographical. How Namjoon feels about a little degradation; what he’d do if someone actually called his cock stupid. Ifsomeone has called his cock stupid. You dare a glance at him and conclude that someone’s had to. Namjoon just has that kind of energy.

But you can’t ask because it’d be weird, so you keep reading.

“How do you want me?” she asks softly when their lips part. There’s a wild look in his eyes, like he’s processing all the possible options out of everything he’s considered. And then it occurs to her. “Have you imagined this before? Thought about how you’d fuck me?” she teases him as she stands, stepping into him. Piper pushes one hand through his hair, brushing it back off of his forehead and wraps her other around his dick, squeezing a little for emphasis on her words. “Yes,” he groans as she strokes him, thumbing at the head of his cock. “Tell me what you want, then. Want me on all fours for you? Want me to show you how it’s done, to let you lay back and ride you so you don’t have to put in any work?” Namjoon’s breathing is getting heavy, pupils blown wider with each suggestion.

“I told you!” you shriek, laughing in between the words. “I told you I’d…” And then your gloating tapers off, because what happens next has your brain malfunctioning.

“All of that,” he whines as she lets go of his hair and brings her hand down to run a fingertip over his perineum. “Want all of that. Want to bend you over the table and fuck you right here. Hear your sounds in the microphone.” Even in her dirtiest thoughts about him, she hadn’t considered the microphone, hadn’t considered recording it. When she thinks about it though, it makes sense. Namjoon is exactly the kind of person that would get off to someone’s voice. So, she does. She makes a show of turning around and slowly bending over the table, sliding her upper body across it carefully until she can reach her microphone and turn it on. When she says into it, “What’re you waiting for?” she sees over her shoulder the way that Namjoon shivers.

This is… not good. You’re never going to be able to look at a microphone the same way, which is extremely not good for a person who supplements their income with a very popular podcast that requires them to speak into a microphone for extended periods of time.

This is very, very bad.

Namjoon must be thinking the same, because he lets out a strangled a-haaa that’s less of a laugh and more a plea to God, the gods, the entire gamut of higher powers that might be able to save him. No one’s going to, you think, staring down at the paper again. This godless piece of fanfiction will be preserved on the internet forever, will be seared into your mind forever, and no amount of praying is going to erase it.

“I should, uh. Just read the rest, yeah? Get it over with?”

“Mhm. Yep. Yes, please.”

Don’t say please, you almost say. You can’t take it; not after what you’ve just read.

So you put on a show. Steel your expression and your nerves and take it seriously. Use voices and sound effects and desperately try to stave off the awkwardness you know is inevitable because a smut fic is probably only going to end one way, and that’s with you acting out Namjoon having an orgasm.

Maybe you’ll have another one, too, if the author is nice.

It’s sweet, she thinks, the way he’s easy for her, takes his time with her. Strokes his fingertips along her sides and kisses the back of her neck reverently. As much as she loves it, part of her hopes he’s not always like this—hopes he’ll give as good as he takes, hopes he’ll put her in her place. She can feel his cock hard against the cleft of her ass, not even inside her yet, and still, she thinks about next time and the time after that. “Still okay?” He breathes into her ear as his tip rubs against her cunt. “Yeah—want you, Joon.” “Never thought I’d hear you say those words.” “I never thought you’d record them,” she teases, eyes glancing up to the flashing light showing the mic picking up all of this as he starts his slow slide into her. Piper falls even further forward when he bottoms out, letting her forehead rest on the table. He’s whispering filth in her ear, about how he has something to prove, how she’ll never want anyone after this, how no one can fuck her the way he does. She hates that he’s right. Each stroke brings a new sensation: sparklers, butterflies, nerve endings on fire as he fucks into her and licks and sucks at her neck, her shoulders, her ear. Piper can’t even think, and this is what people mean when they talk about being fucked stupid, she decides. It’s perfect. Every time she thinks she’s getting close again, he changes something: fucks her a little shallower, moves his hips just a little, slows down, speeds up… It’s driving her crazy. “Come on,” she whines. “I’m so close…” At least she can tell he is, too. No longer able to sustain the dirty talk, he’s breathing heavily, letting out broken moans and sighs of her name. He’s moving rhythmically now, thrusts consistently faster. “Oh, fuck, Piper,” he groans, “Gonna cum.” One of his hands finds her clit and he rubs careful circles over her, bringing her to her peak along with him, no more teasing. When she comes, it’s with a loud moan into the studio mic, and that seems to be what tips Namjoon over the edge, too. His hips stutter into hers as he comes, her cunt clenching around him for what feels like forever.

You deserve an award, you think. An Oscar. You didn’t even groan when you had to read the word “cunt,” and that’s a feat in and of itself.

“Is it over?” Namjoon asks, words muffled by the hands covering his face.

“Not quite,” you answer. “There’s some aftercare, and at the end you ask if I’ll piss on you.”

Namjoon gags. “I asked you what—”

“Today’s episode has been brought to you by Stamps-dot-com—”

HOLY SHIT THE NEW PATREON EPISODE???????? Posted by u/pod-shipper 4 minutes ago NO WAY. NOOOOOOO FUCKING WAY DUDE THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY THEY DID THIS AS AN ACTUAL EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK WHAT HTE FUCK WHAT EHTU FKF DFGLKDG;L (+705) I wasn’t sure if they were messing around before, and I was quite critical of the “shippers,” but now I’m pretty convinced. (+423) ↳ we’ve been telling y’all for YEARS 😤 (+197) ↳ Glad you’ve seen the light, u/RandomAcorn2058! (+5) ↳ ugh. they weren’t messing around before and they aren’t messing around now. do you guys not listen to what they say? namjoon’s been dating, and piper got out of a six-year relationship just over a year ago. if they’ve had something going on for “years” that means they’re both cheaters, and that’s a really shitty thing to assume about them. not to mention it makes the entire point of the podcast moot. (-63) Why do you guys think Jungkook “wasn’t allowed” to be there? (+314) ↳ So they could fuck lmao it’s so obvious (+329) ↳ because it’s awkward af? would you wanna read porn about yourself w all your coworkers in the room? (+2) ↳ the “it’s awkward” excuse is sooooo lame he’s the one who found it and is the one who edited the episode, he’s gonna see it regardless. (+15) ↳ Tbh I’m more curious about how he even found it to begin with? Do they have a throuple thing going on? Like, why was he looking for smut fic about his bosses? (+38)

You do not get through recording unscathed.

You are very scathed. Perhaps the most scathed a person has ever been.

Jungkook texts the group chat sporadically throughout the week, cracking jokes and making memes at your and Namjoon’s expense which is par for the course and shouldn’t have you off-kilter, but something inside you feels deeply wrong. Feels like someone’s given you devastating news; feels like it used to back in uni when you knew you’d failed an exam and were just waiting to see how badly.

It both helps and doesn’t that the internet is so invested. All the clips Jungkook keeps posting have re-doubled your Patreon numbers, and jumping up a tax bracket never hurt anyone, you included. But all of those jokes and memes largely went unanswered by both you and Namjoon, still too close to the incident to find the humor in it from the other side.

The two of you had sex.

Not literally, of course, but you figure you might as well have with the way you’re feeling. The way you’re avoiding one another. Someone wrote a story about the two of you having sex and you both read it and something about that, days later, feels really fucking unsettling.

In a bad way? You aren’t sure. It’s not like you’re mad or upset or any other synonym. You just feel… off. Itchy from the inside out, and that’s far from the norm in your and Namjoon’s friendship. In all the years you’ve known one another, you’ve never once avoided each other, including the time you’d set him up with a close friend and he showed up 45 minutes late to their date and ghosted after.

(Unsurprisingly, that friendship had not lasted.)

Maybe it’s because Yoongi had always been there as a buffer. You aren’t of the belief that men and women cannot be platonic friends, but being in a years-long committed relationship nixed a lot of awkward interactions and assumptions off the bat. Even Namjoon had known Yoongi first. Had introduced himself to you in your shared 100-level psych course with a, “Hey, you’re Min Yoongi’s girlfriend, right?” because they ran in the same underground circles and Namjoon had idolized him from afar for years.

Pretty fucked up, then, that Yoongi’s off in Los Angeles with his hot new boyfriend and you’re on your couch, Holly at your feet, pointedly ignoring your texts.

“I’m gonna get a cat,” you say to the dog, trying to redirect his attention when he starts chewing on your sock again. Holly doesn’t offer any input, of course, and he’s a lot like his father in that way. “I can’t believe you have a stepfather. You’re a proper child of divorce now, Min Holly.”

There are a pile of unread texts you continue to ignore in lieu of showing Holly pictures of adoptable cats. A few more memes from Jungkook, one from Namjoon’s new phone asking to move the recording date a few days because “something came up at work,” one from the food delivery service you admittedly use too much offering 10% off your next order, and two from Yoongi. This reminded me of you, the first one says beneath a picture of an ice cream cone on the ground, and another one of him holding a water gun that says send me a picture of my son or else.

You eventually reply back with a picture of your middle finger, Holly nothing but a blurred brown blob in the corner of the frame.

That’s how it goes for the better part of a week. Namjoon’s work issue lasts four days. He doesn’t offer an explanation and you don’t ask for one, you just wait for the all-clear text and try to quiet the nerves once you get it.

You’ve never been nervous to see Namjoon before.

The more popular the podcast became, the more money rolled in. The more money that rolled in, the more you could afford nicer things. That meant going from recording in Namjoon’s living room to a bona fide office space. Third floor, an expanse of windows and natural light, thirty-five minute commute by train.

Today, it feels more like thirty-five seconds.

You can hear Jungkook’s witch cackle from the stairwell, and your mind fills in the blanks of Namjoon’s exasperated sigh. It helps, your brain reminding you that you know these people. You know this is Jungkook’s late gym day, so he’ll be in a pair of sweats and a hoodie that drowns his frame. You know that when Namjoon has work issues and feels like an inconvenience, he always shows up with two boxes of baked goods from the bakery near his place, and you know both of them will save the best donut for you.

So you walk in and Jungkook’s in a hoodie and sweats just like you expect him to be, and there are two boxes of baked goods next to the coffee machine. Both of them say hello and wave and, for all intents and purposes, everything is normal.

Except it isn’t.

Because Namjoon looks… different.

Not in a bad way. Not in a bad way. He almost always dresses nicely, always looks polished and put-together, usually because he’s either going to or coming from campus—fitted shirts, either of the tee or dress variety, and earth-toned cardigans; tailored trousers that are sometimes corduroy; polished loafers. Sometimes, if he’s feeling extra casual, a stark white pair of tennis shoes.

Today, he wears none of those things.

No, today torture comes in the form of form-fitting jeans and a t-shirt a little oversized so he can roll the sleeves. His hair is brushed back off his face instead of parted down the middle. He’s wearing gold jewelry that glints in the sun. A pair of off-white Converse high-tops. And, much to your horror, he’s also wearing his glasses.

According to the internet, Kim Namjoon is peak husband material, which you can usually ignore, but not when he’s wearing glasses.

You avert your gaze, convinced you’ll burst into flames if you stare too long, not to mention Jungkook will notice and that’s a ribbing you’d rather die than take. So you avert your gaze and pointedly ignore Namjoon, who’s talking about his work crisis to no one in particular. Something about a co-worker going on an unexpectedly early paternity leave, and Namjoon being asked to cover some of his courses until they could find a more permanent fix.

Jungkook asks a question you don’t catch. Because paternity leave means his co-worker and his partner had a baby, presumably via old-fashioned methods, and it’s not a direct mention of sex but it’s close enough to send you into a coughing fit you have to blame on your donut. Neither of them buy it, but Namjoon is a good enough person to look genuinely concerned. Reaches out, probably to slap your back, but the thought of him touching you is just… too much.

So he barely gets out an, “Are you o—” before you choke down whatever’s left in your mouth and cut him off with a, “Yep, all good!” before you’re scurrying off to the opposite side of the room like a little rat.

It doesn’t get any better.

Both of you are so stilted and awkward during recording that Jungkook has to be the voice of reason and call it, suggest trying again tomorrow. Luckily he has enough b-side stuff he can release if need be, Namjoon’s work emergency providing a decent cover, and he sends the two of you home for the afternoon with all the exasperation and incredulity of a disappointed parent.

Thirty-five minutes back home.

Thirty-five minutes to sit in the embarrassment of not being able to do your job. Thirty-five minutes to catastrophize and wonder what you’re going to do if you can’t get it together. Namjoon will keep the podcast, of course; you’ll be replaced with someone else. Maybe someone less cynical, maybe someone more, but undoubtedly a man. After this mess, you can’t imagine Namjoon would want another female co-host.

But as embarrassed as you are, your traitorous brain keeps thinking about Namjoon.

Thirty-five minutes to think about his glasses and his rolled-up sleeves and the way the denim of his jeans contoured perfectly to his thighs. Thirty-five minutes to think about, “Please let me fuck you,” he begs. Thirty-five minutes to squeeze your thighs together and overanalyze the way he stumbled over his words today; how he could barely make eye contact. Thirty-five minutes to draft a dozen resignation texts and delete them all.

You groan, head thunking against the train window. You’ll take a cold shower as soon as you get home.

That’ll cure you.

You get home and walk Holly so long he gives up halfway through and you have to carry him back to your apartment. You take a cold shower and actually find it pleasant once the initial shock wears off, so it doesn’t work to keep all your rogue Namjoon thoughts at bay. You make a simple dinner and don’t think about Namjoon sitting you on the counter and having his way with you. You tuck yourself into bed far too early and consider going back to therapy, because clearly something very, very bad has happened to your psyche.

Needless to say, nothing cures you.

But it’s a new day, and you’re determined to get your shit together. Yesterday was a fluke, because you’re so normal and so capable of being in the same room as Kim Namjoon.

Except—you’re not.

Jungkook’s there when you arrive, mindlessly scrolling through his phone. Barely looks up at you to say hello, and barely returns it when you do. You double-check the time, because you can count on two fingers the amount of times you’ve shown up and Namjoon wasn’t already there, jotting down extensively-detailed notes, circling and highlighting and chasing down Jungkook to ask questions.

“Where’s Namjoon?”

Jungkook shrugs. “Dunno. Not here.”

You roll your eyes. “Super helpful, thanks.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes right back. “You don’t pay me enough to also be his handler.”

You bite your tongue. Arguing with Jungkook means you’ve already lost the war. Not worth it. But it still eases your worries a bit that he doesn’t know any more than you do. That Namjoon hadn’t only texted him to say why he was running late because he didn’t want to—or couldn’t—talk to you.

So you wait. And you wait and you wait and you wait. Jungkook lets you talk to people on his dating apps and tells you about his new gym routine until your eyes are glazing over. Orders food delivery for the two of you because he gets hungry after an hour and had already eaten what was left of the snacks before you arrived. Cracks a joke that isn’t really a joke about calling the police, because Namjoon still hasn’t shown up and he hasn’t said anything and none of your texts are showing as delivered.

You’re halfway to hour two when the office door bursts open and Namjoon stumbles through, soaked with sweat and stammering over apologies.

“I am so sor—I broke my phone again so my alarm never went off and then I missed my bus? And apparently they’re not running the regular bus schedule today so the next one was a half-hour wait, but then I…”

You don’t catch the rest, because Namjoon is covered in sweat and breathing heavily and a week ago you could’ve survived this. A week ago you would’ve cracked a joke and handed him a towel and told him to get to work. A week ago you would not have been paralyzed in your seat, transfixed on the sweat rolling down the side of his neck.

You are fucked beyond belief.

Jungkook elbows you in the ribs, bringing you back to reality. “...even paying attention?” You startle, face warming in embarrassment. Namjoon still isn’t looking at you. “This is so sad to watch,” Jungkook mumbles, and thankfully it’s only loud enough for you to hear. “Like some stupid shit you only see in nature documentaries.”

Well, you can’t really argue with that, now can you?

But you’re a professional above all, so you hum an acknowledgment and take your regular seat. Pointedly ignore Jungkook. Wait for Namjoon to assume his position as well, and you’re surprised to see the space in front of him empty. No notes. No script. There’s just… nothing.

“Are you okay?” you ask, gesturing to the space in front of him when he seems confused. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without a stack of notes in front of you.”

“I forgot them.”

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you do that, either.”

Your tone is light and airy, not at all accusing or confrontational, but Namjoon’s jaw clenches nonetheless. He scoffs, fires a shitty little, “Were you not paying attention when I was talking about what a horrible fucking morning I’ve had?” at you that makes even Jungkook flinch. A few moments of stunned silence, and then, “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, that was rude—”

“Yeah, it was,” you agree, and all of a sudden you feel too big for your body. Feel like there are ants beneath your skin, feel like everything is wrong, and you don’t want to be here anymore. “It’s fine. Let’s just—”

Namjoon looks like he wants to argue, but he just sighs and says, “I—yeah, okay.”

This is where Namjoon would usually launch into the intro, a dimpled smile already plastered on his face that’d drop as he discussed another failed first date with that brand of self-deprecation that makes him so endearing. This is where he’d say what have you been up to, Pipe, and you’d try not to groan because how hard could it possibly be to add one more letter, another syllable, but Namjoon seems incapable of it. This is the part that, for three years, has been seamless and easy and instinctual, just two friends having a conversation.

There’s a red light on your microphones that indicates you’re recording. It’s on and it mocks you, because Namjoon is not doing the intro or telling you about a failed date. He doesn’t use that cringey nickname. He doesn’t say anything at all. His mouth opens and shuts and no words come out. What’s worse is that you know exactly why he can’t speak, because you’re thinking about it, too.

“So, uh,” you begin, and Jungkook makes a gagging sound from behind you. “Come here often?”

Namjoon ignores you. “Right, right, the intro…” He sucks in a breath. “Welcome back to another episode of Put Him in the Trash, I’m—”

“Joon—”

“Namjoon, and my co-host here is—”

“Joon, that’s not—”

“Piper. Wait, why are you looking at me like that?”

“That’s not the name of our podcast.”

“Huh?”

“You said Put Him in the Trash.” Namjoon just blinks. “It’s Place Him Gently in the Garbage.”

“Is it? Since when?”

“Since forever?”

He looks at Jungkook, who is hiding behind his hands. “Is she right?”

A beat of silence. “I can’t do this,” he half-shouts, half-whines. “Are you two going to be like this forever? Because if you are, I’m quitting. I’m so serious. I’m gonna quit. I can’t take it anymore. The two of you are insufferable.” Another beat of silence, before Jungkook stands at full height and lords over you and Namjoon. “Forget today. Just go home and try again on Monday. This is so—I’m seriously gonna quit.”

Yoongi comes on Saturday afternoon to pick up Holly.

Yijeong isn’t with him, which is almost disappointing. Now that he’s dating again, you were looking forward to seeing just how awkward it could get with the three of you in the same room, but he looks good. Refreshed. The trip clearly did a world of good for him, and you can’t even bring yourself to crack a joke at his expense.

He, however, has no such hang-ups. “You look like shit.”

“Weird way to say thank you.” You click your tongue and look down at Holly. “Do you see how your father treats me? You should bite him.”

“My son would never. But also, thank you.” He flops onto the sofa. “You do look like shit, though. You wanna talk about it?”

“Not with you, preferably.”

“Oh, gross, is it a dating thing, then?”

“I—no.” You pause. It’s not a dating thing, but you still feel like you’ve got motion sickness whenever you think about it. How would you even begin to explain this to Yoongi, anyway? Someone wrote a porn fic about me and Namjoon. You remember Namjoon, right? Namjoon, that I’ve known and have been friends with since college. Yeah, that Namjoon. Anyway, someone wrote fanfiction about us having sex, and it fucked me up so bad I can no longer be in the same room as him.

No fucking way.

“You look like you’re holding in a fart.”

“You know, I’m getting really sick of you. Did you just come here to insult me?”

He snorts, but his smirk dissipates a few seconds later, a familiar seriousness filling the void. “We’re okay, right? Was the Yijeong thing too soon?”

“No,” you answer immediately, leaning over to flick him on the forehead. “We’re fine, and if you’re happy, then I’m happy for you.” He still looks doubtful. “You want me to start singing ‘I Will Always Love You’ or something? It’s just… weird work stuff.”

“Depends. Are you singing the Dolly Parton or Whitney version? And real work or podcast work?”

“Podcast work, and obviously the Whitney version.”

Yoongi seems surprised by this, eyebrows disappearing beneath his fringe. “Like, the podcast with Namjoon?” He presses his tongue into the fat of his cheek when you nod your head. “Not gonna lie, I didn’t think that was possible.”

“Like I said, it’s weird. It wasn’t, like, an argument or anything.”

“How weird?”

“You’re so fake, Min Yoongi. You act like you’re so distinguished and above drama, but really you’re just as hungry for gossip as the rest of us.”

He shrugs. “I’m not denying it.”

God help you, you’re going to rip off the band-aid. “Someone… Jesus, this is so embarrassing. Someone… wrote? Fanfiction? About us.”

“About you and Namjoon?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh my god—”

“About us… uh. Having sex? Specifically.”

“Oh my god—”

“Jungkook found it and thought it’d be funny if we read it for an episode.”

“Oh my god?”

“So we did? And it was really weird, which I expected, because I’ve known Namjoon for a long time, and I never, ever thought about having sex with him because we were together and me and Namjoon are friends, so yeah, it was fucking weird. But now… I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about it? And now we can’t even be in the same room as one another.” Yoongi is a concerning shade of red. “So our show is gonna get canceled, because we can only release b-side stuff for so long until people realize something’s up, and it was Namjoon’s podcast to begin with so obviously I’ll get fired—”

“Oh my god, you want to fuck Namjoon.”

Yoongi sounds like a strangled cat when he says this, which does not help the way you feel like you’ve been hit square in the face with a frying pan. “No,” you argue, though it sounds more like a question. You do not want to fuck Namjoon. “No, no. No. It’s just because it was weird.”

“Did you forget I dated you for six years? I know what you look like when you want to fuck someone.”

“You’re telling me you wouldn’t be weird if someone wrote fanfiction about you fucking your friend?”

“Not if I didn’t actually want to fuck them, no.”

“You’re a liar. Get your dog and get out of my apartment.”

Yoongi laughs as he stands. Pats you on the back in the most condescending way you’ve ever had someone pat you on the back. “Let me know how it goes. No need to give me credit for your moment of horny clarity.”

Min Yoongi is a bastard.

Unfortunately, as you come to find out, he’s also a correct bastard.

You want to fuck Namjoon.

Which is… not great, you have to admit, considering he can barely stand to be around you, so you take another cold shower and decide you’re going to take this to your grave. You’re going to spend the rest of the weekend getting your shit together, and you’re going to show up on Monday and be a consummate professional. You’re going to look at Namjoon and say, ha ha, isn’t it so funny someone thought we would have sex? I don’t think about it at all because I am so cool and normal about it.

You’ve got it all planned out. You’re going to show up fifteen minutes early with your own box of pastries. You’re going to look nice, if not a little pretentious—maybe a nice sweater. You’re going to be prepared with notes of your own. You might even be nice to the villain of the week so Namjoon doesn’t have to pinch the bridge of his nose and sigh at you.

And then someone knocks on your door.

You find Namjoon on the other side, and all your plans immediately go to shit.

Has he always been this tall? You can’t remember. You can’t remember a lot of things, including how to speak, because Yoongi had launched you into a crisis of epic proportions and now here’s the source of it, standing right in front of you. With all of his… height. And thighs. And that heady, musky cologne he always wears, that you can still smell now even though there’s an unfortunate amount of distance between you.

“Uh, hi.”

You blink. “Hi,” you parrot, and it’s a little insulting how one single word seems to have sucked up all of your brainpower. “Namjoon,” you tack on, not awkward at all.

“Sorry to just show up,” he says, scratching at the back of his neck. Very bad idea; makes his biceps bulge. You barely swallow your whimper. “It’s just—my phone’s still broken, and it felt bad leaving things how we did? So I was hoping we could talk.”

Talk. Namjoon wants to talk to you. Normally: not a problem. Currently: big problem. You manage a nod, open the door wider to let him in, and you don’t think about how jarring it is to have Namjoon in your space. You don’t think about how your legs feel like jelly all of a sudden, or what it’d be like if Namjoon bent you over the couch, or the kitchen counter, or the—

You cough. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Oh, sure. Maybe just some water if you have it.”

If you have it. What kind of person doesn’t have water? But you tell him to make himself comfortable and get him some anyway, and you mull too long over the size of the glass. Ultimately decide on a smaller one, because if things get unbearably awkward you can excuse yourself to the kitchen to get more.

“I haven’t been here in a while,” Namjoon says from the living room, and when you look up he’s sorting through a stack of books near the window. Some he’d lent you months ago, notes jotted in the corners, sticky notes in the shape of sea animals on important pages. “You ever wind up reading this?”

The Idiot. Namjoon had raved about it when he was in the midst of his 19th century Russian phase, right after he’d read a bunch of Tolstoy and Pushkin. You shake your head—though, judging from the title, you wonder if someone hadn’t written your biography.

“It’s good. If you have the time, you should definitely give it a shot.”

“Yeah, of course,” you say, handing over his water. You take a seat in an armchair, pull your knees to your chest. Namjoon’s still looking through your books, isn’t looking at you, so it feels safe to say, “You wanted to talk?”

“Yeah.” He moves to sit on the floor, massive thighs spreading until he’s comfortable. Thank god he can’t see the look on your face. “I just wanted to make sure we’re alright. Things have felt pretty weird since we filmed the, uh.” He coughs. “Thing.”

“Right, yeah.” You realize he’s waiting for an answer, and you offer up a very rushed, “We’re fine, Joon.”

“Are you sure?”

Yeah, you’re sure: sure you absolutely cannot be having this conversation in the safety and sanctity of your own home. It’s tainted now, contaminated by all your uncontrolled horny thoughts about the man in front of you. You’ll have to fumigate. Might have to pick up and move, actually, or call an exorcist.

“I’m sure,” you assure him. “The… thing… was weird, but it’s fine. Temporary.”

“Do you think we shouldn’t have done it?”

That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? Because, in isolation, reading a porn fic about yourselves wasn’t a big deal. No one got hurt. Everyone who needed to be consulted was consulted. The episode made the two of you a lot of money, and Jungkook even promised to send some of it to the author, so your bases are beyond covered.

So, should you have done it? There wasn’t a good enough reason not to, because the story itself was never the problem.

The problem is staring you right in the face. It’s sitting on your floor, a book cracked in half at the spine and forgotten in his lap. The problem is looking at you like you hold all the answers to the universe’s secrets, and it’s no small thing to be looked at like that. The problem is that Namjoon is looking at you like that from across the room but you’re wondering what it’d look like from on top of you.

The problem is that you’ve co-hosted a podcast with Namjoon for three years, have known him even longer, and you’ve just realized today that you want to have sex with him.

And you can’t say that, can you, because Namjoon came here to fix things which really does not lend itself to a hookup. Namjoon cares about your friendship and your working relationship so much he came here to try and salvage it, so you’re going to keep your mouth shut. You’re going to say, “I think it’s okay that we did,” and leave it at that. Because it is okay.

Because you’re the problem.

It feels like a small victory when Namjoon sags in relief. When he exhales and says, “Okay, good, because I think so, too.”

“It made us a lot of money,” you tack on.

Namjoon’s eyes widen as he laughs. “Right? Like, that was almost too much money. Just to watch us read porn?”

“About ourselves. I think that was the selling point.”

He stands. You do, too. “Never thought I’d be doing that,” he says, returning the book to where it belongs. “Definitely the most embarrassing thing I’ve done for money.”

“Being a man with a podcast wasn’t embarrassing enough?”

He snorts. Gets closer to the door. “Hey now.” You’re going to survive this. “Thanks for entertaining me, by the way. For a second there I was really worried we’d fucked it all up.”

Just the ending. Just one more thing to say and you’ll be done with this, and then you can take your third cold shower in recent memory and triple text Yoongi with a full-fledged mental breakdown. Maybe he’ll bring Holly back and you can register him as your emotional support animal.

And Namjoon must sense the awkwardness that’s crept back in, because he tries to cover it with a joke. Says, “Haaa, like you’d actually piss on me, right?”

Except it sounds like he’s got a mouth full of marbles.

It’s no wonder you mishear him.

Because he says like you’d actually piss on me but you hear like you’d actually kiss me, and there isn’t a universe that exists in which the following makes sense: you, stunned into silence in the doorframe, Namjoon saying his goodbyes, you thinking fuck it, last chance and saying, “Yeah, I’d kiss you.”

Namjoon stops dead in his tracks. “What?”

Your entire body is on fire. “Is, uh. Is that not what you said?”

“I don’t think it matters anymore what I said.”

“I’d argue that it does, for the sake of my digni—”

“You’d kiss me?” Namjoon… doesn’t look put off of the idea, which is surely a point in your favor. Interesting to note that his diction is crystal clear, now. Bastard. “You’d kiss me right now?”

There’s also no explanation for the way you say: “It’s only been an option for ten seconds and you’re already begging for it?”

You’d say there’s no explanation for the way Namjoon’s jaw clenches, the way he repeats I don’t beg for anything, but maybe the simple fact is: the two of you want to fuck each other. And, judging from the way Namjoon crowds your space, keeps dropping his gaze to your mouth, it seems very likely to happen.

All that fixating you’d done on Namjoon’s thighs was wasted, you think, as you take in the shape of his mouth. His lips. The way his tongue darts out to run along the bottom at the last second before he reaches out, tilts your head up, and finally presses his mouth to yours.

And you’ve got to laugh, because no piece of written fiction could ever accurately portray what it feels like. How soft his lips are. The way he touches you—gentle, but still dominant enough to have you moving the way he wants, have you backing up into your apartment so he can smile against your mouth as he closes the door behind him.

No piece of fiction would get it right, the way you’re unsteady on your feet, breathless at the way Namjoon’s kissing you. How he only breaks apart long enough to ask where do you want me in that throaty, deep voice of his. How you’re so overwhelmed you can’t decide: unsure if you want to waste the time it’d take to get to your bedroom, but if it’s only going to happen once, wanting to make it count.

So you decide to risk it. Plant your hands in the middle of his exceptionally broad chest and push him in the direction of the hallway, and if the two of you can’t wait, can’t control yourselves, well.

But the story had gotten one thing right: Namjoon does kiss like a branding iron, hot and greedy. Namjoon kisses you like there’s nothing else he wants to do in this lifetime, and it makes you dizzy. Has you off-kilter, stumbling into the wall as you try to remember where the fuck your bedroom is and why it’s so far. Just like the fictional version of you, you also moan when he licks into your mouth.

“Should I do it the way we did in the fic?” Namjoon asks as the two of you cross the threshold into your bedroom, a cheeky grin on his face. “Do it like this?” he questions, pushing you gently until you’re on the back in the middle of your bed, chest heaving as you lift your head to look at him.

Namjoon is so, so big from where you lay, just hovering at the foot of your bed. Cheeks ruddy, bulge prominent. “What’d you say you wanted?”

Takes a second to remember how to breathe, let alone what you’d read. What do you want, Namjoon had asked, right before he’d sank to his knees in front of you. “Whatever you’re willing to give,” you answer.

Namjoon smiles. Puts one knee on the bed, and the way it dips beneath his weight is unsettling. Why does he have to be so fucking large. “That’s right, baby.” Christ, you think, because there’s another thing that fic had gotten right. No one on earth would be immune to Namjoon calling them baby in that tone of voice.

The riposte biting at the back of your teeth gets swallowed whole as Namjoon grabs your ankles and drags you to the edge of the bed. “May I?” he asks, hands poised above the waistline of your leggings. You nod, and Namjoon drags down your underwear with them. “Fuck, look at you,” he groans, awe creeping into the edge of his words.

“You want me to do it the same way? Hm? You’re being awfully quiet; thought you were giving me shit about being the one in charge,” he chides.

Because you’re short-circuiting. Namjoon’s on his knees, just like you’d envisioned, and his mouth is dangerously close to your cunt. How can you be expected to think and speak under these conditions? But if Namjoon can find the brainpower to be a bastard, so can you, because what you’d read and the way he’d reacted can both never be forgotten. So you thread your hands into his hair and pull. The resulting moan is enough to sustain you for years.

“Are you gonna keep running your mouth, or are you gonna make me come on it?”

He blinks. “Jesus Christ.”

There’s precedent. Fictional Namjoon ate you out like a man starved, like he couldn’t get enough. Had fictional you writhing and insatiable, so it’s a lot to live up to, but it doesn’t deter him in the slightest. He hesitates for only a second, giving you one last chance to back out before the two of you set every last boundary on fire, and then he’s settling between your thighs and making you see stars.

Now you know what it’s like. Now you don’t have to rely on fiction, and it doesn’t matter because it’d never compare to the way Namjoon feels as he works to bring you to your ruin. The way he flattens his tongue to lick long, thick stripes; the way his lips suction around your clit. The way it feels when he groans against your core. The way he says, “Fuck, you do taste good,” like that’s a completely normal thing to say. Like he doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing to you.

But you need more and Namjoon knows it. His mouth doesn’t leave your cunt for a second, but his fingers find your mouth, so you put on a show. Wrap your lips around them, suck on them the way he’s doing to you, make sure they’re slick. Namjoon groans again, doubles his efforts. Slides one thick finger inside of you and barely lets you adjust before he’s adding a second.

In an embarrassingly short amount of time, Namjoon has you unraveling. Presses incessantly on a spot that has your vision whiting out. Has you trembling, a little panicked as you say, “Joon, fuck—Namjoon, wait—” as it builds and builds and builds.

You might black out for a second, because you come to and Namjoon looks… stunned. He looks like he can’t believe any of what just happened, and you blink a few times, try to come back into your body, and when you regain enough consciousness, you’re extremely aware of the large wet patch beneath you.

“Um—”

“Holy shit.”

“Namjoon, that’s not—that’s embarrassing—can you grab a—”

He shuts you up with a kiss. Presses the taste of you into your skin, and all those silly protests die in your throat, because if Namjoon was needy before, he’s desperate now. Covers your body with his own, hips dipping down low enough to press his erection into the juncture of your thigh, and the weight of him is delicious. Has you fisting the fabric of his t-shirt to pull him closer, has you pulling it over his head, his pants following. Has your hands skimming down every thick part of his body until you reach his cock, hard and aching and slick with pre-cum.

“I need to suck you off later,” you say, done with overthinking. Time to just be honest, and Kim Namjoon has a dick you need to feel down your throat. “Remind me.”

He whines, thrusts into your hand a little harder. “How could I forget that?”

“Don’t know. Didn’t know if this would be the only time,” you answer. “Did you bring a condom?” Namjoon nods, fetches one from his wallet and rolls it on.

He hovers above you again. Looks nervous, all of a sudden, like he can’t tell his lefts from his rights. All out of sorts. You’re about to tell him it’s fine, you don’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to, don’t have to do anything at all, when he says, “It doesn’t have to be.” You just stare. “The only time.”

There’s a conversation to be had. You know that. Both of you clearly have feelings you need to talk about and sort out, but you reckon they can wait. They’ll still be there in the afterglow, in the morning. So you nod, say okay, Joon, and kiss away the insecurities that still linger.

You think about the fic. Think maybe Namjoon would appreciate it if you cracked a stupid joke, just like he’d tried to do earlier. “Has anyone ever called your cock stupid?”

He laughs, breath fanning against your skin. “No. Wanna try it and see what happens?”

Might as well. You try to remember the exaggerated tone of voice you’d used. Repeat the line—“Do you even know what to do with that big, stupid cock?”—and wait.

There’s a beat of silence, and then—

Namjoon swallows thickly. “I, um. Unfortunately, I think that really works for me.” You laugh. Pull him closer. Wrap your legs around his waist as he starts to move against you. Has jokes of his own. “Please. Please let me fuck you.”

You roll your eyes, laugh tapering into a giggle. “Do you know how?” Namjoon nods, looking all too much like a puppy eager to please its owner. “Do you promise?” He nods again. “Okay. Okay, come here.”

You expect him to move fast; expect the first time to be frenzied and a little awkward. It isn’t. Namjoon lines himself up and pushes the smallest bit inside, and then he’s leaning down to kiss you. Threads your fingers together, squeezes your hand. Pushes further inside and mumbles praise just beneath your ear.

It’s dizzying, the amount of care Namjoon handles you with. How soft he is. Does nothing to ease the discomfort of the stretch, the overwhelming fullness, but he talks you through it. Tells you how good you feel, how beautiful you look. Spills a lot of words you’d probably be embarrassed to hear and he’d be embarrassed to say if this was any other time, but in the heat of the moment it all just works to unravel you faster.

He bottoms out. “Okay?” he asks, and you’re rewarded with a dimpled smile when you say you are. Namjoon is a devastating kind of beautiful.

But, as he gives you time to adjust and you give him the all-clear, he also fucks like a demon. What once was hand-holding is now your wrists pinned to the bed, your body caged beneath him as he rolls his hips at a pace that has your eyes rolling back into your head. You’ve been deceived. Lured into a false sense of security.

It’s almost a shame this isn’t being recorded, because you want to memorize all the sounds Namjoon’s making. Want to hear them for the rest of your life. Don’t want anyone else to be the reason he sounds like this, and as he ups his pace and presses his lips to your neck, you don’t want to sound like this because of anyone else, either.

Maybe one of those times in the future, you can talk him into it.

Namjoon reaches down, rubs circles into your clit. Every time you think you might be close, he pulls his hand away, smiles like the devil. You let him have his fun for a while, let him think you’re keen to lie back and take it, and then you tighten your legs around his waist and flip him onto his back.

He doesn’t think it’s very funny. Looks up at you all bewildered. “What’re you—”

“You were taking too long,” you snark. “Figured I’d take matters into my own hands.”

“Yeah? Shit,” he says as you begin to move. “Fuck, baby, like that. Ride me just like that.”

You do. Don’t change a thing, because Namjoon’s cock is long and thick enough to hit exactly where you need it to. You can feel yourself clenching, feel yourself getting wetter, and the sight of Namjoon beneath you does nothing to stave off the inevitable. He looks even better than you’d imagined: skin flushed, eyes squeezed shut, head thrown back, sweat-slick. You want to make him cry. Want to give him the entire world. You will.

Namjoon thrusts at the same time you roll your hips, and that’s what does it. Has you crying out, has stars flashing behind your eyelids. Has you saying fuck, fuck, fuck as he drives you over the edge for the second time. Has you on the brink of oversensitive as he thrusts a few more times to chase his own end, almost delirious at the way Namjoon moans as he spills into the condom.

Has you swooning, just a bit, at the dopey way Namjoon smiles at you, eyes half-lidded and crinkled at the corners.

“Was that okay?”

You snort. “Yeah, I’d say it was decent.”

“Maybe next time you could pee on me,” he jokes.

You whack him on the chest. “Sure. Or we could record it.”

Has you a little shocked at the way his cock twitches inside of you at the mention of it.

On Monday, you don’t wear a pretentious sweater.

When you stroll in, Jungkook’s already got the best donut shoved halfway into his mouth because he’s a shithead. He eyes you warily, probably hoping with all his hope that you spent the weekend finding God and getting your shit together.

And then he realizes you’ve got on Namjoon’s hoodie and he nearly chokes to death.

“What the fuck are you wearing—”

Namjoon appears at that very moment, and it’s so hard not to take credit for the way he’s glowing, the dazed smile on his face. But Jungkook notices, because Jungkook notices everything, and his gaze darts between the two of you: your hoodie, Namjoon’s face, your face. He opens his mouth, something inappropriate bound to spill out, but Namjoon beats him to the punch. “Ready?” he asks you, and you nod.

It’s seamless.

No hiccups, no awkward stuttering. Namjoon gets through the intro without a hitch, and it feels exactly like it used to. Just two friends having a conversation. It’s obvious Jungkook still wants to say something, but after suffering through last week, he stays quiet lest he makes it worse and sends the two of you back to the bad place.

“How was your weekend, Pipe? Do anything fun?” Namjoon rolls his lips, tries not to laugh.

So you play along. “No, not really, just some dog sitting. How about you?”

“Oh, you know me. Had another first date on Saturday.”

“Did you? How’d it go?”

“Perfect.”

It’s a blessing Jungkook isn’t filming this, because your eyebrows raise so far they nearly disappear from your face altogether. There isn’t even a hint of hesitation in Namjoon’s voice, and although you would’ve described it the same way, hearing him say it with such conviction has you a little stunned. “Wow. You gonna see her again?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon says, sharing a private smile with you. “I think I am.”

who the FUCK is namjoon dating Posted by u/pod-shipper 7 minutes ago This has honestly ruined my entire day. I thought all the stories he told about dating were a bit… Like, what kind of guy has a podcast about relationships but can’t seem to be in one? But you could just HEAR it in his voice how much he likes this woman he went on a date with over the weekend and I’m sick to my stomach. (+2195) ↳ bro you and me both 😭 i genuinely thought him and piper had something going on fr (+1302) ↳ Seriously might stop listening because of this! Any woman with self-respect would never let their partner host a podcast with someone they’re obviously in love with. If he gets serious with this woman, Piper will be gone within 6 months, mark my words. (+927) ↳ I wouldn’t worry about it too much! My cousin works at a really nice restaurant in the same city Namjoon lives in, and she said she saw this “date” on Saturday and that it wasn’t anything serious. (+788) ↳ Piper got a cat and Namjoon finally got a second date. Face it, it’s over. (+325) ↳ cannot believe him and piper aren’t dating.. do you think i should delete all my tiktok edits? (+4) ↳ this is unhinged lmfao i thought y’all hated piper? you’re in here bitching abt her being a “misandrist” every week and now ur gonna stop listening bc namjoon isn’t dating her? pick a lane and stay in it (-64)

Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts, and reblogs/shares are always welcome! I appreciate you very much~ ♡

#namjoon x reader #namjoon smut #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts x reader #namjoon fanfic #namjoon imagine #namjoon scenarios #namjoon x you #namjoon x y/n #bts imagines #bts scenarios #jewel writes

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sassy-cass-16 · 4 months

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look man. look

essek saying "bren" out loud, claiming a position on caleb's side as the mouthpiece of his regards to astrid, did something to me. i can't tell if it opened a wound or punched me or gave me a hug. all i know is that i am feeling so many emotions right now

more under the cut because i'm about to get rambly:

"bren aldric ermendrud" is a separate character from caleb widogast. he's a young boy learning how to make magic. he's a deeply traumatized and indoctrinated teenager. he's the boy who curled up with astrid and eadwulf in a freezing tower for warmth all night.

essek never met bren. he met caleb and he's never known him as anyone else. if i'm remembering correctly, caleb never even said the name "bren" to him during the campaign, and neither did any of the nein.

essek knows caleb widogast. he knows the man who held up the object of his worst crime and then kissed him in the bowels of a ship and made a floor of infinite stars for them to walk through together. he knows the person who healed over bren's wounds—thinly, but enough. he knows the man that the boy has become.

astrid knows bren. she barely knows who caleb is. she still calls him bren after hearing him referred to as caleb repeatedly. she can't know him as the man he is, she only knows the boy. there's some of bren in caleb, but there is no caleb in bren.

essek saying "bren sends his regards" is him gauging astrid's reaction, on one level—if she freaks out, which she did, she's in opposition to caleb's cause and thus a threat. on another level, it's essek delivering a very different subtextual message from caleb: "the boy who loved you is giving you one final warning."

because essek is a threat to astrid. their last meaningful interaction was slinging spells at each other in the blooming grove. and that's funny in a "current boyfriend vs ex girlfriend exclusively fight each other" kind of way, but it's also deeply tied to caleb's recurring theme of transformation. "bren sends his regards" also means "i have healed enough to love enough for someone else to know this name and use it with my consent. and this someone else is your enemy. what does that make you think i've become?"

it also does a fantastic job of communicating subtle offscreen discussions that have happened over the years since the end of c2. we don't have the details of when or how caleb told essek his birth name, but we know that he did, and we know from all of c2 that the name bren occupies a place of immense emotional weight for caleb. it functions similarly to a deadname in terms of who uses it and for what purpose. trent exclusively calls caleb bren to wound him and place himself in a position of power. astrid calls him bren to remind both him and herself of who they used to be—same with eadwulf, though obviously he's not here.

the first time we hear essek say "bren" is on caleb's behalf and confronting one of the narrative representations of caleb's trauma. it's four words that manage to communicate "i, your enemy on a hundred levels, can speak for both the man i love and the boy who loved you, because i know him in his entirety."

astrid knows bren and essek knows caleb, but only essek can speak for both. because at some point, caleb gave bren to essek. and we know this from four words. four IMPROVISED words.

god. this moment is just so fucking good

#critical role #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #campaign 3 #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #astrid becke #mighty nein #campaign 2 #shadowgast

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won4kiss · 2 months

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𖠵 . ׅ ࣪ ⌇ 𝐼N 𝑀Y 𝐷𝑅𝐸AM𝑆

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 popular jock! park sunghoon x 𝑓! reader 𝒢enre. angst &fluff. 𝓢ynopsis. in which sunghoon has a crush on you ! 𝑤𝑐 𐙚ㅤㅤ 1292 ‎⸝⸝ not edited, pet names cursing kissing skin ship . ୭ৎ — 𝓵𝗂𝖻𝗋𝖺𝗋𝔂 ᥫ᭡

PLEASE LIKE & REBLOG ! 𓂃

YOU WERE SAT AT YOUR USUAL SPOT IN THE LIBRARY, SURROUNDED BY TEXTBOOKS AND NOTES, COMPLETELY ENGROSSED IN YOUR STUDIES.

the world of high school drama and popularity contests seemed miles away out of focus at this very moment.

you were content in your own world, focusing on your academics and aiming for a bright future.

that all changed one fateful night when your friends managed to drag you to one of your university’s famous basketball games.

the gymnasium was packed with students, all dressed in your schools representative colours, their cheers echoing off the walls as the school's star player, park sunghoon, dominated the court.

he was the epitome of popularity; tall, athletic, undeniably hot and effortlessly charming. — more under cut !

while your friends screamed and cheered for sunghoon, you remained unimpressed.

you weren’t very fond of the athletes attending your university, yes you know how attractive they are, and how they dominate the other universities, but what makes you despise them is how they get to use their athletics as an excuse to not perform well in their academics.

you, on the other hand have dedicated all your free time just to see that “a+” on your paper while they get their future handed to them for free.

instead, you observed the game with a detached interest, not caring much about the excitement that gripped the crowd.

when sunghoon once again scored another point, the gym erupted in an applause and cheers of victory, but you simply rolled your eyes.

sunghoon, in the middle of his victory celebration, scanned the crowd and that’s when his gaze landed on you.

his eyes widened slightly when he saw you roll your eyes at the cheers.

intrigued by your indifference, he winked at you, expecting a typical blush or a giggle.

instead, to his surprise you met his gaze and rolled your eyes once again, turning away.

sunghoon was beyond shocked and, for the first time, genuinely intrigued.

after the game had finally ended, as you gathered your things to leave, sunghoon approached you.

"hey, can i get your number? you're really cute,"

he questioned with a confident smile as you held back a scoff.

you looked at him, unimpressed as you sighed.

“do you even know my name, park sunghoon?” you meekly continued as he awkwardly rubbed the nape of his neck.

“no, but i’d love to learn it..?”

"yeah- no, thanks," you replied curtly, brushing past him.

unfortunately, to your dismay, this definitely wasn’t the last of park sunghoon disrupting your everyday daily life.

this became a routine over the next few months. sunghoon would find you between classes, breaks or in the library, attempting to charm you over and over again with his smooth talk and winning grin.

each and every single time, you rejected him without hesitation, not taking his advances seriously.

despite his persistence, you remained firm, convinced he was just another shallow jock who loved the chase more than the actual person.

one evening, as you were walking back to your campus dorms after a late study session, stressed out of your mind, sunghoon caught up with you.

"hey, my princess, wait up!" he called, jogging to your side.

"what is it this time, sunghoon?" you asked, exasperated and completely burnt out.

"i really like you. i want to take you out," he said, his voice sincere and soft, but you were not having it.

the thought of him chasing after you for the thrill had angered you even more, he thought uttering a few kind words to you would really make you believe he wasn’t the same as all the other campus playboys!

you scoffed. "real funny, sunghoon. you say that, but i don't believe you. you're just a stupid jock who likes the thrill of the chase."

sunghoon's expression hardened, and for the first time in these past few months, you saw genuine hurt in his eyes.

"you think i'm just a stupid jock?" he repeated, his voice trembling with frustration.

"i have feelings too, you know? i genuinely like you. i like the way you always focus so intensely when you study, the way your eyebrows furrow everytime i confess to you, the way you roll your eyes at me, and even how you always reject me.”

“i know i’m not perfect, but i really like you, y/n.”

“maybe in my dreams, you'll like me back one day too." he muttered.

with that, he turned and walked away, leaving you standing there in shock.

his words echoed in your mind, and for the first time, you felt a pang of guilt.

the next few days were unsettling for you.

after months of having sunghoon follow you as if he were lost puppy, he completely disappeared from your daily routine.

sunghoon was nowhere to be seen, you searched for him as you passed the gymnasium, and even went out of your way and took longer routes just to pass his class, and you couldn't help but feel a strange ache in your chest.

the school felt different without his constant presence and playful attempts to win your hearts affection.

sucking up your pride, you approached his jock friends, concern evident in your voice.

"where's sunghoon? is he okay?"

they exchanged glances before one of them, jake sim replied,

"he's been feeling 'sick' lately."

the way he said it, mixed with the look he gave you, told you it was more than just a physical illness.

worried even more out of your mind, you decided to skip your classes and head to his dorm.

you hesitantly knocked on the door, asking yourself if you were really doing this.

it took a moment before sunghoon opened it. he looked like a mess—dark eye bags, a scratched up face, and disheveled hair.

without a word, you stepped forward and hugged him tightly, tears streaming down your face at the sight of him.

"i'm so sorry, sunghoon. i didn't realize how much i hurt you. i just... i didn't think you were serious. but it felt so weird without you these past few days. i've gotten used to you being around, and i missed you."

“i thought my life would go back to normal without you, but you became apart of my normal..i need you, hoon.”

sunghoon's arms slowly wrapped around you, getting over the initial shock and he smiled softly, grinning down at you.

"i missed you too," he whispered as he pulled back slightly to look at you.

"so, does this mean you'll take me seriously now?"

you nodded, tears still in your eyes.

"yes. i promise!"

you two continued staring into the gaze of each others eyes, sunghoon sighed caressing your cheek.

“can i kiss you? i mean- sorry that was weird, you could say no-“

“just kiss me, dumbass.”

and with that, he leaned in and kissed you softly, a gentle, soft and reassuring kiss that made your heart pound in your chest.

when you pulled back, you asked,

"have you been locked away because of me?"

he chuckled, shaking his head.

"i just had a week off and decided to give you space so i stayed up late gaming. my friends tricked you, they sent me a message after you asked about me."

you looked at him with disbelief before you both laughed, the tension finally easing away.

sunghoon held you close, his smile shining brighter than ever, leaving you in awe.

"i'm glad you came to find me."

he whispered, completely love struck.

"i'm glad too," you whispered, resting your head on his shoulder.

it was a sweet, unexpected ending to what had started as an unlikely relationship, and as you stood there wrapped in his arms, you knew you were ready to let down your walls and let park sunghoon devour you whole.

taglist open ‹𝟹 @sjyunnsworld @luvlyhee @shawnyle @suneng @pnghoon @laylasbunbunny @privareum

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onlyswan · 2 months

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dreamboat | jjk (1)

summary: aboard the dreamboat, jungkook finds himself drawn to a beautiful stranger who appears to be drowning in melancholy. weeks later, he sees her face on the other side of the aquarium at his apartment building’s lobby. he soon learns that it’s not fate’s grand romantic plans that brought you back to his life. / (alt.) / a shipwreck and a dreamboat form an unusual bond in an aquarium.

non!idoljk x f!reader (jk is a business major who works at the amusement park ; oc works at the call center) / strangers to lovers / fluff, angst, suggestive / chapter wc: 14.9k / total fic wc: 30.8k

warnings/content (for full fic): is it an onlyswan fic if nobody cries? ; smoking ; making out ; mention of nude art ; mention of flashing ; panic attack ; a ghost cameo lol ; s*x scandal ; abuse of authority ; harrassment ; jk throws a punch once ; oc drives a motorbike without a helmet once ; vminjin + yeontan cameos :3 ; tae and jk are the same age tho

-> part two (wc: 15.9k) | spotify playlist (open to song recs <3)

note: my not so little summer project <3 i thought i wouldn’t have the opportunity to dedicate this much time to writing again in the near future so here we are! finishing this story alone felt fulfilling but even more so that i get to share it with you. pls treat it with gentle care 🫂 reblogs and feedback r very much appreciated i love talking to you guys🥺 special thanks to my lovely rio for proofreading and being the sweetest friend :") ilyily

࿐ for those who yearn <3

—

“wait! wait for me! don’t close it yet!”

jungkook’s whole life has led up to this moment.

from running away from his neighbor’s large snobby dogs during childhood— to participating in run for charity marathons mostly, only mostly, to appease his ex-girlfriend by being interested in her interests.

he successfully escaped from his uneventful class today by faking dizziness. half an hour later, he is racing towards one of the few places in this city where he feels something.

his best friend’s face is still blurry given the distance, but jungkook doesn’t need to clearly see taehyung’s face to know that he is looking at him unimpressed.

“why are you here? do you even have a ticket?!” taehyung interrogates him once he reaches the gate.

“do i have a ticket? really?” jungkook smirks, tossing his backpack to the ground.

he crosses over to the other side, and with ease, sneaks his hand in between the bars to push the lock into place.

“what do you think i work here for?”

taehyung sighs and mumbles to himself. “fine, my bad. thought we worked to pay for our bills.”

he picks up the backpack and swings it over his shoulder, heading to the control booth. on the other hand, jungkook climbs on the ship the amusement park owner lovingly named the dreamboat. he places his grip on one of the many vines curiously large butterflies are attached to, fully ignoring the existence of the steps. he hoists himself up onto the wooden floor with ease.

unhappy faces with blank stares.

he smiles at them cheerfully.

“i apologize for the hold-up. i’m your captain!”

“jungkook! sit!”

“wouldn’t he be the captain?” a high school boy at the very front quips, eyes pointing downwards at taehyung.

“eh, more like the wind behind our sails.” he ruffles the boy’s head in passing as he trudges over to his desired seat.

“what?”

his spot, a more suitable better term. the farthest row which most first timers do not dare to sit at; the part of the ship closest to the sky when it swings back and forth, higher and higher, until it feels like he’s going to fall off— but he doesn’t. for short bursts of moments, he’s flying.

the passengers are erupting in ear-splitting screams, curses, and laughter. the wide smile plastered on his face could probably be described as sadistic as he observes their reactions. most would find this ride as a nauseating, life-threatening ordeal and its name ridiculously ironic. however, to jungkook, this is what it means to be alive.

he imagined he would be alone here again today.

but as he is brought higher into the air, he discovers one person strapped to the last row of the other side of the ship.

the earth begins to move in slow motion.

they have their face buried in their palms, body shaking with what he can only guess is intense sobbing.

gone is the smile on his face.

jungkook has witnessed a few criers, sure, but not to this degree. a wave of sadness washes over him. he feels guilty and he doesn’t know why. why the hell would he be? he doesn’t even know who you are.

are you that scared? if you’re scared, why would you volunteer to go here alone? if not, then why is your heart breaking?

for a few seconds, the noises cease and his focus on you becomes amplified.

and why is his breaking too?

your sobs and gasps for air are once more drowned out by the fear and adrenaline of the majority. nevertheless, the ache they caused in his chest stays.

what could it be? the reason you’re crying like this at an amusement park? wouldn’t it be because you got stood up by your date?

lost in thought, he’s been unblinking. the wind blows as the speed of the boat picks up and he groans when dirt gets into his eye. he harshly rubs and rubs and he stops to check if it’s gone… he knows it’s gone because now he can see clearly— one of the most beautiful people he has laid his eyes upon.

the wind blows into your hair and it finally grants him a good view of your face. red, swollen eyes and mascara running. you wipe your tears away, distant eyes falling on your lap, and you take a sharp inhale. you’re a tragedy and so gorgeous still that the aching of his heart doubles due to its intensified pounding.

there’s no way… he debunks his theory. there’s no way a man could ever waste the opportunity of going on a date with you. only a fool.

slow motion comes to a full stop.

shit, shit, shit.

why can’t he look away?

you’ve made eye-contact and you’re not breaking it.

he nervously swallows the lump in his throat.

“huh?”

the ringing of the bell snaps him out of… whatever that experience was. he looks around and it is revealed to him that the ship has returned to its neutral position. passengers are already hopping off, including you.

wait, including you…

when did you get a cap?!

“fuck!” he curses, kicking his feet in annoyance.

he then proceeds to break the promise he swore to himself: never run after a girl again.

“yah, jungkook! where are you going?! you need to clock in!”

taehyung releases yet another sigh as he loses his best friend among the crowd. nearly at the same time, he hears a thud that originates from the control booth. he blankly stares at the backpack that mysteriously fell off the chair.

“does he have snacks in here at least?”

—

blue tube top and black baseball cap worn backwards. blue top and black cap. blue top and black cap. jungkook chants in his head like a maniac as he navigates the grounds, trying his best not to lose sight of your back. sweat has started to form as beads on his forehead. he squeezes one eye shut, wary of the sting, before wiping them away with the back of his hand.

he ran with all his might, but now that you’re almost within reach, he’s suddenly nervous.

“miss- miss! you dropped this!”

you turn around abruptly so his fingers end up only grazing your arm. the first thing he notices is your knitted eyebrows. he doesn’t know whether it mostly indicates annoyance or confusion.

you merely glance at the handkerchief on his open palm. “it’s not mine.”

you walk away from him and you are a magnet he is curiously drawn to.

he stands in front of you, sweaty and stuttering like a student introducing himself to a class for the very first time.

“but are you okay? i-i couldn’t help but to notice that you were cry- uh, uhm… you-you seem to have troubles.”

he clears his throat, turning his cheek for a second as to avoid melting under your intense gaze. he marvels at your beauty but he can’t pull himself together to admire it from a close distance.

“sorry, i don’t mean to pry. i’m just concerned.”

seconds pass and he doesn’t receive any sort of answer. no affirmative nod; not even a roll of the eyes. you stare at his face blankly as your feet become rooted into the ground. strands of your hair dance with gusts of the wind. it could be a haunting sight. your glossy eyes are reminiscent of deep, turbulent waters. there was a twinge of doubt on the accuracy of his words before, however, it now seems to ring true.

could it really be because of a boy?

a bicycle enters his line of vision.

a little too close not to cause an accident.

“move!” he yells out the warning, but he still takes matters into his own hands by pushing you over to the side and using his own body as a shield.

the bicycle speeds past and the rider screams something unintelligible.

jungkook’s nostrils flare. “kid, that’s not allowed in here! where did you come from?!”

the security guard running after the rule-breaker moves past him, but not before hitting his back with the baton.

“jungkook! why didn’t you stop him?!”

“yah! what was that for?!”

he scoffs, glaring towards the direction of the intruder and his co-staff, who has an entirely different job from him. why didn’t he stop him?!

while he was distracted by the commotion, he was also unaware that you managed to swipe the handkerchief loosely hanging from his grip around your arm.

his angry expression softens.

you wipe away your tears that are freely flowing against your will. earlier, you were sobbing. right now, your face is devoid of any expression. he can’t decide which is more heartbreaking.

“are you okay?” he carries on to ask again despite the both of you knowing the answer, but he just doesn’t know what else to do.

“i’m okay,” you say. “thanks for finding my handkerchief… and for saving me from the- the, yeah…”

you’re about to walk out of his life until his mouth blurts out- “wait! take this!”

he wishes the ground would swallow him whole. you blink at the small packet of sour gummies on his open palm and he wishes the ground would swallow him whole.

even he thinks this is ridiculous. he had a handkerchief in the left pocket of his jacket and now it’s yours. he had gummy worms in the right and for some reason he also wants you to have it.

“why?”

he has the same question.

“just because…”

no, that won’t do it.

“maybe it could make you feel better.”

oh my god.

“if you decide to ride the spinning top… it helps when you’re nauseated.”

still with the unreadable expression, you probe no further and accept his edible remedy.

“thank you.” you politely bow before taking your leave.

he doesn’t run after you this time. after all, his pockets are empty.

meeting you— this is probably the first and last time.

he exhales through his mouth. disappointed. he turns around and tries to look for you again.

blue top and black cap…

there you are.

leaving-

wait.

the spark of hope quickly fizzles out. you pull your hand out of your pocket, tossing something into one of the trash bins. he’s too far away to identify the item, but it couldn’t be… right?

he huffs in sheer disbelief.

“huh, she’s pretty and rude.”

—

if he’s being honest, jungkook doesn’t like this job much. graphic design is there, and it’s been a pretty sweet gig especially when he’s desperate for extra cash. anyway, taehyung got this job first, which took away time from their regular hangouts, so he would often visit his best friend during his free periods at the university. long story short, one of the managers scolded them both for playing around throughout taehyung’s shift, and as a punishment, she employed jungkook.

she is the reason why he is spending his sunday morning putting on strangers’ seatbelts and lap bars so they won’t fall off the rollercoaster and die. he was trained to double-check everything, but he is a bit more paranoid about lawsuits than the management, so despite the extra waiting time some passengers aren’t happy about, he makes that triple.

as fast as he can, while maintaining meticulousness, he does his final round of checking. so far, everyone is safely strapped to their seats. until he reaches the last row and finds the only person there with their lap bar unlocked. how did he miss that?

“ma’am, your lap bar isn’t secured. do you mind if i-”

the woman shakes her head without a word. as he gets to work, his eyes can’t help but to stray. most of her face is hidden by a face mask and sunglasses. it’s kind of funny because it’s actually been a gloomy day.

“ah, there you go. safe and sound!”

“thanks,”

he flashes her a bright smile. the last and apparently most important employee rule.

“you’re welcome!”

—

“why aren’t you eating?” taehyung asks with a mouthful of corndog.

jungkook lifts his head up from the table, sends him a glare, then drops it again. he didn’t get much sleep last night studying for their upcoming tests. he’d much rather spend his whole lunch break with his eyes closed. he’d go as far as saying that moving his jaw to chew food sounds like exerting too much energy and he couldn’t be bothered.

“change shifts with me. i fucking hate sundays.”

“depends…” taehyung pretends to be in deep thought. “will you buy me a meal everyday until our shifts rotate again?”

“do you want to die?”

“no, but it looks like you will before me.”

jungkook yawns, sleepy tears flowing down his temple. “you might be right…”

“were you up all night thinking of that girl?”

“huh? no.”

“you’re lying.”

“shut up,” he groans, adjusting himself into a more comfortable position.

so a beautiful stranger has been plaguing his mind. big deal! happens to the best of us.

taehyung cackles at his demise, thoroughly amused. “why? didn’t she throw away your gift?”

“it wasn’t a gift.” he argues. “and i know, she’s exactly my type.”

“bro, you’re fucking hopeless.”

“i know that too,” he calmly replies. “i kind of miss her.”

“at least it’s not your ex anymore, i guess.” taehyung mutters before obnoxiously sipping on his strawberry lemonade. “want to sneak into the security camera room? i’m curious. i want to see her.”

“can’t you just let me sleep?!”

“wow, you’re so grumpy today.”

took him long enough to deduce.

“then should we go after your nap?”

“i need to work!” jungkook snaps. he straightens his back, rubbing his face in frustration. “go- go do whatever you want!”

taehyung’s chewing slows down, appearing almost scared at his best friend’s outburst, but everything is a game with the two of them. “but i don’t know what she looks like.”

jungkook sighs, squeezing his eyes shut.

“okay, fine!”

in a state of exaggerated panic, taehyung gathers his things in one clean sweep, cradling them in his arms.

“i’m leaving!” he dashes out of the break room as if he’s running for his life.

jungkook huffs out a laugh at the comedic scene. as soon as his smile drops, so does his head.

—

it’s past midnight, which means it’s already friday. jungkook has been glued to the computer for the past three hours, working on a brochure he was commissioned to make. this task would go along smoothly if only his client didn’t have such a long list of demands, but alas, he is desperate for a good review after his past client’s four paragraph-long criticism. a boomer’s opinions hardly matter to him, but he knows how a single bad review alone can negatively affect reputation.

one thing’s for sure, everyone’s making it hard for him to fucking quit energy drinks.

he tosses the empty can into the trash bin beside his desk. away with his anti-radiation glasses, too. it lands in an awkward position over his keyboard. he couldn’t care less. everything hurts.

he keeps his eyes closed as he stretches his fingers, neck, and back with strained moans and grunts. the sweet relief causes him to slump lazily on his chair. at that moment, an internal battle starts. should he do the responsible thing and continue working? or should he just say fuck it and go to bed?

“no but seriously! why would she throw them away?!”

completely unrelated.

a thousand miles away from the topic at hand.

“jungkook!” taehyung growls from the bed, furiously pressing at the buttons of the controller. “it’s been two weeks! when are you going to move on?”

jungkook spins the chair to face him with a deadpan expression. the ps5 hogger is too focused on the television screen to even notice.

“you wouldn’t expect it but those aren’t cheap.”

“then maybe you shouldn’t have given it away to a stranger.” taehyung shrugs. “but that’s just me.”

“that was out of my control.” jungkook defends. “you should’ve seen her.”

“well, you wouldn’t let me.” taehyung mumbles, but he obviously wanted him to hear. “no thanks. crying at the amusement park? she’s got to have some real issues.”

“so what? we all got issues.”

“not me,” he sends jungkook a smirk. “if i don’t acknowledge them, they’re not there.”

“and that, my friend…” jungkook has decided to retire from his work area tonight. he pats taehyung’s shoulder as a display of faux sympathy. “is your biggest issue.”

wearing a childish grin, he grabs the other controller from the floor.

“now, shall we rank up?”

—

it’s been a few days since summer vacation started. he normally comes home to busan during the school breaks for a temporary taste of childhood bliss. he spends the entire day watching television, eating home-cooked meals, and not thinking about requirements at all.

too bad his vacation is suspended due to his adult responsibilities.

at least that’s the excuse he used.

his family has been staying with relatives for the past month because their home is currently under renovation. and well, jungkook’s dorm is suffocating enough on his own. staying under one roof with nine other people? hard. pass.

he may or may not be regretting that decision now, however. all of a sudden, coming home from work with a bag full of ramyeon and beer feels too depressing. even more so that he has no one to share them with. all of his friends have gone home. taehyung, too. he found someone who could temporarily fill in his place and did not think twice about leaving jungkook behind. he can’t blame him.

jungkook enters the apartment building. as always, quiet and dim. he gets that the owner is trying to save money, but isn’t it a bit too early to start turning off the lights? he rolls his eyes despite the lack of a witness.

they are very lucky that he has grown somewhat fond of this place.

jungkook allows himself to be roped in by the only source of warm light in the lobby. he finds himself incredibly silly for being entertained by goldfishes swimming around in an aquarium, but after a hectic day, this is where his brain cools down.

“hello everyone,” he coos at them.

do fishes even react to baby talk? he wouldn’t know. the only pet that lasted him years and is still alive is their family dog, gureum.

“how was your day? i hope it was better than mine.”

—

on the other side of the aquarium stands you, watching a boy talk to the fishes while he is blissfully unaware of your presence. an endeared smile graces your face unbeknownst to you.

eventually, there arrives a moment when most of the fishes favor a certain side and they clear out before his eyes.

that is when he finally notices you.

your heart begins to race, but he appears to be more shocked than you are. you stand up straight nearly at the same time.

despite the dark, they’re impossible to miss. his breathtaking eyes— which were filled with pure wonder and adoration only seconds ago— growing in size as soon as they saw yours.

“i know you…”

a bucket of ice cold water is dumped over your head.

“the girl who cried at the dreamboat!”

and while you do not appreciate the rather ungentlemanly pointing of finger, you’re glad to be able to breathe out a sigh of relief.

well, and there’s also the crippling shame.

you didn’t want your first impression on anyone to be the most pitiful version of yourself.

it’s been over a month for fuck’s sake. how does he remember your face so well?

“wow,” he gapes. “you changed your hair.”

you touch your hair, feeling a little conscious.

is that a good thing or a bad thing?

it’s your first time changing your hair color; plus, the last time you had bangs was in middle school. it’s been weeks since you had the big transformation, but you’re not quite sure how you feel about it yet.

“yeah, light pink…”

“it suits you well.”

“thanks,” is all you manage to respond with.

a gust of awkward silence passes by. there’s the instinct to run away— knocking at your brain, pulling at your limbs. but you can’t think of an excuse. your feet won’t move… eventually you stop minding that. the goldfishes are too beautiful to look away from. they work as the perfect distraction from the other soul standing across.

“so, um- i’ve never seen you around here.”

“i moved in today.”

“oh, i see… that makes sense.”

you hum to fill the quietness that follows, thinking of what else you could say, but he beats you to it.

“i live at the 13th floor.“

what did he say? do you live on the same floor? that’s impossible.

“how about you?”

“hm, 10!”

you blurt out the first number that pops into your mind. you quickly pretend like you’re not freaking out inside by shifting the topic.

“do they-” you gesture to the aquarium. “do they have names?”

“names?”

the random question seems to catch him off guard.

“none that i’m aware of.” he shakes his head. “i don’t think so- no.”

“oh…” your shoulders sag in disappointment. “that’s sad.”

but then again, you should’ve lowered your expectations and reminded yourself where you are. they were not bought as pets. they were bought for display.

—

the last time jungkook saw you was over a month ago. maybe your face is a tad different because you’re not crying. the new color of your hair compliments you in a way unlike before’s yet just as beautiful. the bangs make much of the difference too. he doesn’t know how old you are, but you look younger somehow. from his point-of-view, he could say that much has changed. but not the melancholia.

he watches you gaze into the aquarium in fascination; the lights reflect on your eyes as little twinkling stars. you’re not crying, but why can he still feel your sadness?

he once told taehyung that if you meet again, he’d give you hell for throwing his sour gummies away.

funny enough, that plan went out the window the second he laid his eyes on you again.

“do you want to feed them?” he offers.

“i already did.”

“you did?”

“i did,” you look up at him innocently, nodding. “i asked the guard.”

“aish, he didn’t tell me.” he throws his arms up with a groan. “i almost overfed them.”

you perk up with interest. “do you always feed them?”

“when i come home from work.”

“that’s nice…”

the soft smile you give him makes his heart skip a beat, but he doesn’t know it yet.

“sorry, um-” you begin smoothing out your clothes, also tucking your hair behind your ears. “i need to get to work. it was nice meeting you.”

“work?” he exclaims. “at this time?”

“graveyard shift,” you simply answer.

pictures of the dark alleyways immediately flash in his mind.

“but it’s dangerous to be roaming around here at this time.”

his radar doesn’t detect crimes being reported around the neighborhood, but with the majority of the building’s occupants being young adults, the streets are often littered with drunkards who have many things to be angry about.

“oh, i don’t walk. i’ve got a bike.”

he hasn’t known you long, but this is the most enthusiastic he has seen you. your face lit up as soon as you mentioned your mode of transportation.

however, he is a tiny bit confused.

it shows on his face, apparently.

“the motor kind,” you clarify.

“ah, the motor kind-” he claps once as soon as the realization dawns on him. he chuckles to himself. “of course!”

it was important for you to clarify, jungkook concludes from your tone. the fact that you own a bike is sexy, but you look adorable right now and it is so amusing to him.

“anyway, i need to go. it was nice to meet you!”

your heels click against the floor as you head towards the same door he walked in from.

“see you around!” he yells, still wearing a wide grin.

he remains standing there even though you’re already gone from sight.

hit with a useless yet concerning epiphany, he blinks.

“she rides the motorbike wearing heels?”

—

jungkook’s misery has been pushed to the back of his mind, replaced by an overwhelming giddiness that causes him to drop everything on the floor and jump on his bed. he buries his head into the pillow, but it does nothing to erase the happy grin that’s threatening to make his cheeks sore.

what a small world, huh?

what is this if not fate?

he flips over and stares at the ceiling as if it’s the starry night sky.

this might just become the best summer of his life.

—

jungkook comes out fresh from the shower clad only in a pair of black boxer shorts. he hangs the towel he was drying his hair with over his nape, heading to the kitchen to prepare his dinner. he rips the lid of the cup ramyeon halfway, and as he pours hot water into it from the electric kettle, your face appears on his mind again.

wait, there’s something wrong…

he tilts his head to the side, eyebrows knitting together as he tries to figure out what it is he forgot.

“ah, i’m so stupid!”

he totally forgot to ask your name!

“shit!” he shouts in higher volume when he realizes that the water has overflowed and is now dripping to the floor.

he puts the kettle down, taking a few steps back from the mess he made. praise heavens the water wasn’t hot enough for his toes to suffer anything more than a first-degree burn.

he starts to look around for anything he can wipe the floor with, his tongue poking his inner cheek.

“still having a bad day.”

—

but a bad day isn’t enough to break down jungkook’s spirit. he knows there will always come a tomorrow, so he seizes that tomorrow and comes home from work as fast as he can. there’s a big chance that you leave for work around the same time, right?

so he sits down on the sofa facing the aquarium, and he waits.

his head turns to the elevator each time it dings.

he taps his foot on the floor.

he checks tomorrow’s weather forecast on the app. clear skies. no chance of rain. high humidity levels.

he goes through the magazines laid out on the coffee table. he learns five ways to get over heartbreak. according to the quiz, he has a sweet and passionate personality based on the flavor of his lip balm. he thinks it’s pretty accurate. strawberry, he strokes his non-existent beard. could never go wrong with it.

next thing he knows, the clock strikes twelve.

he can no longer control his excessive yawning but his stomach is just screaming for the pack of jjajangmyeon in his cupboard.

he presses the elevator button with a tight-lipped smile. he’s disappointed that he didn’t see you at all today, but he was raised to have a positive outlook in life. you live in the same building. you have to run into each other again one of these days.

—

what does jungkook hate more than normal sundays? sundays when he didn’t get enough sleep.

for some reason, he’s still tragically stuck with working on the worst day of the week despite his repeated objections. the only upside to this particular sunday is that he is assigned to the ferris wheel. in exchange for thrice the amount of his daily wage in discreet tips, what happens in some of those cabins are none of his business.

if he ends up getting reassigned, he would be pretty fucking pissed off.

he’s restless as the elevator descends to the ground floor. he’s munching on a protein bar, jogging in place as to warm up his body for a race to the bus stop.

he can’t be the one manning the bump cars. bump cars are the worst. those kids hit you on purpose, he swears.

the elevator dings and he runs.

until an eye-catching color forces him to pull the brakes. his sneakers squeak against the tiled floor.

your back may be facing him, but he can recognize you from that cotton candy hair even from a mile away. you’re right where he was hoping you’d be last night, conversing with one of the janitors. this really isn’t the best time for your paths to cross again, given the reasons he was just grouching about, but his feet refuse to move.

you go on your tiptoes to sprinkle fish feed into the aquarium. you’re so adorable in your pajamas; you’re almost drowning in the black and white checkered cloth. are those yours in the first place?

“everything you need to know is written here… how much- how often you should feed them depending on the seasons, depending on how big they’ve gotten… jungkook worked really hard in researching. impressive, don’t you think?”

“i see…” he is finally granted his wish to hear your soft voice. “but why don’t they have names?”

the janitor scratches his head at your question. “they look too alike to have names.”

“hello! i heard my name!” jungkook pops in without a warning, causing mister park to flinch and slap a hand over his chest in shock.

“jungkook! i’m 71 years old! you could’ve killed me!”

“oh, that’s right-” he gasps. “grandpa, i’m sorry!”

jungkook attacks him with a bear hug, playfully rocking their bodies back and forth hoping that would calm down his vulnerable heart. for a brief moment, he feels like a child again.

“this is jungkook.”

the introduction was already made for him. that’s one less thing he has to overthink.

“____ here wants to feed the fishes every morning from now on. i told her it’s perfectly alright with me.” the janitor laughs. “with my age, you know how forgetful i’ve become.”

“really?” he breaks away, surprised by what he just learned. “that’s so nice!”

“it’s nothing. i’m happy to do it.” you smile and make eye-contact with him, but you soon break it, opting to glance at the aquarium.

you must like fishes a lot. he only felt bad for them because the janitor on night shift doesn’t give a single fuck about them; that’s why he did all that research hoping it would help with committing to the responsibility, which jungkook ended up shouldering in the end anyway. but you… you’ve been here for what? two? three days?

“tell you what…” he brings out the pen he keeps in the side pocket of his backpack. “this- this is my phone number. if you need anything, or incase you need someone else to feed them, contact me!”

he scribbles down his phone number on the notepad grandpa was showing you before his rude interruption.

“by the way, my unit is 1311. you can also just-” he knocks on the thin air, clicking his tongue to mimic the sound. “knock on my door.”

jungkook’s watch beeps twice everyday, once at 8:50am and then at 11pm sharp. the sun is burning bright and his shift starts at 9am. yes, he is nervous infront of a girl who is drop-dead gorgeous, but he should also be very much nervous about the (unfair) deduction from his measly salary.

“okay, i need to run to work! goodbye!”

—

so, his name is jungkook…

you crane your head to watch him rush out of the building. the uncomfortable sound of his sneakers squeaking against the floor makes you grimace.

the page he wrote his number on is ripped off from the notepad and handed to you.

“he’s a good kid.”

you force yourself to smile, and it slowly fades as you tilt down your chin and stare at the string of numbers in blue ink.

long after the janitor has left to fulfill his long list of tasks, you remain standing by the aquarium.

“you do have someone taking good care of you.” you whisper to the clueless fishes, caressing the glass. a genuine smile appears when two of them swim towards you, beady eyes trying to make sense of the stranger loitering around their homey cage. “you can breathe well and you’re warm in the winter. that’s a relief.”

after feeding them, next on the agenda is to cook your own breakfast. you head for the elevator, tossing the crumpled up paper into the trash bin before pressing the arrow pointing towards north.

—

“hyung…”

“why?”

jungkook sighs. “can you text me?”

“text you what?” seokjin’s forehead creases in confusion.

“anything. i just need to make sure my phone still works.”

thursday has been a slow day at the amusement park despite the school vacation and no one has tried to win a teddy bear since the place opened. seokjin is more than happy to spend his free time playing games on his phone in his own little corner at the amusement park.

well, that was before jungkook got bored at the ping pong toss booth and decided to hang out at the other side of the wall.

he shrugs and texts his younger friend the word ‘anything’ just to get him off his back. he goes back to playing his game, not curious enough to interrogate him with additional questions.

jungkook’s text tone rings at max volume.

“it does work!” he yells in exasperation, flopping down at his seat. “why hasn’t she texted me?”

“you were whining about the same thing the other day.” seokjin muses as his car crosses the finish line. second place. “you fool, just text her first.”

“i don’t have her number.”

“what do you mean you don’t have her number?”

“i gave her mine.” jungkook says quietly. “we live in the same building and i told her to contact me if she needs anything.”

“then i guess it’s safe to say that she doesn’t need anything from you.”

“seriously, why can’t i have friends that are nice to me?!”

seokjin bursts out laughing, definitely not a stranger to jungkook and taehyung’s bickering at the break room.

“you did this one to yourself! jungkook, flirt better!”

“easier said than done,” jungkook pouts.

you make him nervous. his brain goes blank when you’re around. in addition to that, he doesn’t know what you’re going through and he’s scared that you’d end up pushing him away if he oversteps.

“i gave her candy when we first met and she threw them away.”

“oh, that’s right,” seokjin loads a new game, snorting. “taehyung told me about that.”

jungkook’s jaw drops. “is he backstabbing me?”

—

jungkook enters the break room with yet another item from the lost-and-found. it’s been over two weeks since he found this orange beanie on the ground. must’ve fallen from the rollercoaster, that’s his best guess.

since no one has claimed it— “finders keepers,” he grins as he stuffs it into his backpack.

“thief,” seokjin jokingly accuses him from the other side of the table. “that’s how you were raised?”

“says the one who took the sony headphones yesterday.”

“i won it fair and square!”

he’d argue with the older man again, but his phone vibrating has stolen his full attention. he is hit with disappointment at the same moment that he snatches it from the table. it’s his mom, again, asking him when he’s coming home.

“you need to stop doing that. it’s getting sad.”

he sighs, hugging his backpack to hide his pitiful face. “i am sad.”

—

his walks home from the bus stop have always been a period for reflection and pondering. the streets of seoul are scattered with his indecision, worries, and anger. since his mother has been asking him for months, should he just go home and endure their living situation? maybe it’s better to be annoyed with the presence of people instead of being blue with a lack thereof.

so much for being independent. he spent most of high school anticipating the day he gets to move out, now he wants nothing but to go home. he can’t help but to think that life is but a vicious cycle of wanting and losing.

too lost in thought, he fails to realize right away that he has entered his apartment building’s vicinity. it’s the smell of cigarette smoke that brings him back to reality. the alley is dark, but he can make out the silhouette of a figure crouched down on the ground. assuming that it’s one of the guards hiding to smoke, he soundlessly enters the confined space with mischief up his sleeve.

when he gets close enough, the first thing he sees is the tip of the cigarette still burning red as the smoker takes a puff.

a car with blinding headlights zooms past.

it becomes unmistakable then— the identity of the person ten feet away from him.

there’s no one around here with same hair color.

none that he knows of anyway.

he is motionless; clueless as to what he should do. he should probably turn his back and leave. pretend this never happened. he never saw anything.

he can’t even be hung up on the fact that you smoke. if he thinks back on his past experiences with dating, this would’ve been a turn-off, but he loses the ability to care. the smoke in his lungs is negligible when your wounded sobs are breaking his heart. it’s ridiculous that the urge to also cry is spreading fast in his system, but he had a long day and he feels really fucking shitty.

you were going to notice his presence eventually.

he doesn’t know what he was expecting.

you lift your head, and eye-contact is made. none of you chooses to speak a word.

you’re as beautiful as the day he first met you.

you stand on your feet and you step on the cigarette, on the emotional connection he swore you had, crushing it under the weight of your boot.

he blinks away the tears threatening to escape his eyes. he should say something; offer an apology for intruding on a vulnerable moment, but you walk past him before he could form the words, shoulder harshly bumping against him.

could have it been on purpose?

“____!” he says your name for the first time, for what sounds like a plea. he follows you home like a lost puppy. “i’m sorry, i-i wasn’t… i thought you were another person… are you okay?”

“what do you think?” you spit out. the delicate voice he knows isn’t there, gone harsh and hoarse.

“is there anything i can do?”

no response.

he tries again. “anything at all?”

“oh my god, can’t you take a hint? leave me alone!”

your sudden outburst sends him stumbling backwards, the sensation of your hands on his chest still lingering despite the distance that was forcefully created between the two of you.

“i don’t know you! stay away from me!”

your infuriated voice echoes throughout the lobby. he is shocked. dumbfounded. his eyes, out of focus, seek your face, and he finds you heaving with tearful eyes.

he makes an attempt to speak, something to defend himself with, but in the end, he still says, “i’m sorry.”

a woman walks out of the elevator, and you immediately enter without looking back. jungkook remains standing where he is, with strangers’ eyes on him as if he has committed a grave crime.

—

you slam the door shut, hand still covering your mouth shut despite no one being around to hear your cries. you don’t bother turning on the lights. your shoulder bag falls somewhere on the floor and you collapse on the bed, still in your jeans and your heels hanging off your feet.

nothing matters anymore.

you’re suffering the punishment of somebody else’s crime. you’ve been casted out, stripped away of your dreams and your dignity. your life is over and you’ve accepted that, but maybe you haven’t. all is unfair. you’re so fucking angry but you’re too tired to feel it. and you’re alone. so alone. no one is on your side and it’s not fair.

you try to scream out, anything to release your pent-up rage, but it doesn’t happen. apparently, that’s what happens when enough people tell you to bite your tongue raw.

they say we curl up into the fetal position as a natural response to stress and anxiety because it mimics the sense of security we had when we were in our mother’s womb. the way you see it, your body will always be yours and it is the only one that you need.

so you curl up and you put your arms around yourself. you pat your own back until your wrist falls limp from exhaustion, and you keep your eyes closed until you fall into a deep sleep.

you pray to god that you never wake up.

—

you fail to achieve peace even in your dreams. in what is supposedly an imaginary land, you were being chased by faceless agitators with torches and pitchforks. you were crying and screaming, running on bare and bloody feet, tripping on branches and the stones they were throwing.

you open your eyes to darkness.

just as you predicted; nobody listens.

you feel nothing anymore and you hope it stays that way. if you can’t escape it, then perhaps, you can be desensitized to its horrors.

you force yourself to sit up on the bed, spending an unknown length of time staring into the void.

the first coherent thought formed in your head… no, not a thought… a person.

your bare feet brave the cold floor. the switch of the desk lamp is flicked as you sit at your desk. you grab a pen to write something on the free space of your opened journal pages.

under those numbers, you note down the name of the owner in cursive.

—

after the shitshow that transpired earlier, sleep became impossible for jungkook.

he doesn’t quite understand how he feels about you. however, it’s currently clear that there’s a part of him that’s pissed off. you made yourself very clear. he should maintain distance from now on. that’s the sensible, respectable thing to do. at this point, attempts at initiating any form of relationship with you appear to be futile. you’re a stranger to him, as you emphasized. this shouldn’t be as complicated as it is in his head… but fuck, the memories of your tear-stained face is corrupting his ability to rationalize.

it’s 2:33am. he’s been playing the guitar infront of the camera for an hour and a half already. the comment section is flooded by sleep-deprived people like him, sending song requests and questions about his personal life.

yes, he’s about to be in third year college.

no, he doesn’t have a girlfriend.

no, he can’t mention where he lives… but sure, he can sing ‘beautiful’ by crush.

“what do you mean? i just finished playing it ten seconds ago!” he squints as he scrolls through the new wave of comments. “sorry, art commissions are still closed. i’m behind on my workload… no, i’m not sleepy! don’t send me to bed yet… knees by iu? i love that song. should i play that next?”

his phone vibrates with a new text message, nearly causing it to fall from the stack of books he set it up on.

“oh- what was tha- what do i do? wait, everyone. i need to check on something!”

the live is temporarily put on pause.

“who is this?”

his eyebrows knit in confusion when he is greeted by an unregistered phone number.

2:45am

hi, jungkook. this is ____. i wanted to apologize for my behavior at the lobby earlier. i understand you were only concerned. i’m so sorry. i’d love to buy you coffee some time to make it up to you, if that’s ok.

this is real, right? he’s awake. he’s not hallucinating. the text message indicates your name and it says that you’d love to buy him coffee some time.

a gasp leaves his mouth, his hand flying up to seal his lips.

you texted him. you finally texted him.

he was starting to get convinced that you also threw away his number, but you didn’t!

he weakly sets down the phone, brain still processing the message you sent. does this make sense?

“i shouldn’t reply right away… maybe in the morning…” he nods to affirm myself. “that’s right.”

he begins chuckling out of nowhere. soon enough, those chuckles become chortles. he must be going insane. he picks up the phone and reads the message again.

“she sounds pretty even in chat. how is that possible?” he spins on his chair, so carefree. “but honestly, is one coffee enough for what she did?”

he shakes his head with a click his tongue.

“i don’t think so…”

hold on…

it feels like he’s forgetting something…

“ah, the live!” he jumps on his seat in panic.

he swipes out of the text message to go back to the app where he abandoned his thousand viewers.

“sorry, i made money.” he mumbles to himself. “i should end it now.”

—

his mood has done a 180. his routine consists of feeding the fishes dinner, and then himself, but he decided to skip the second part earlier for reasons that he has forgotten by now.

his stomach growls at his selfish decision.

given the time, he considered food delivery, but the fee made him exit the app immediately. he hasn’t gone to the grocery store as of recent either. the fridge has been wasting electricity, but his pride won’t let him turn it off.

how did people live without convenience stores before? that is what jungkook marvels about as he crosses the long hallway to reach the elevator.

a door ahead opens, and he would ignore it if not for one of the two people who comes out from the other side of it.

there is a man in his late 20’s, and then there is… you.

you are the deer and jungkook is the blinding headlights.

—

the coffee you originally offered jungkook has turned into a full meal. when you arrived at the convenience store, he knew what he wanted right away. he grabbed the biggest cup of ramyeon and tteokbokki, an egg, sausage, and cheese. he refused to let you pay for them at first, but there was nothing left to do after you handed the cashier the money.

the action was done out of obligation rather than will, but seeing how much he’s enjoying the food, you’re a little less displeased with the circumstances.

“is that all you’re eating? we can share mine.”

“it’s okay. i’m not that hungry.”

with the money you had left, you were able to afford a roll of gimbap. maybe it’s not enough to make you full, but it’s enough to satiate your hunger. you slowly chew the food in your mouth, an effort to hide your smile as you discretely observe jungkook devour his rabokki.

“the man from earlier, is he your brother?”

your chewing is put on pause. “how did you know?”

“how? it’s easy!”

he cheekily points at his nose using his chopsticks.

“you have the exact same nose.”

“ugh,” you grimace. “i’m tired of hearing that.”

your list of similarities ends there. he’s the golden child and you’re the black sheep. if your parents find out that he comes to visit you and he sends you money, they’d only see you in worse light.

“i know,” jungkook scrunches his nose. “i have an older brother too.”

cute.

“so… why did you lie?”

he’s seriously asking you like this? so casually?

you awkwardly set down your food on the table and you take your time sipping at your coffee to buy yourself some time.

—

“i was embarrassed with what happened before… me crying at the boat and everything…”

you’re having a hard time looking at jungkook in the eye. sensing your discomfort, he wants to punch himself for being so careless with his tone. until moments before, he felt too offended to consider the fact that you never owed him an explanation.

“you don’t have to be. it’s okay.” he reassures you. “we all have bad days.”

it doesn’t work the way that he thought it would. when you start laughing, he is lost.

“did i say something funny?” he chuckles along nervously.

“that quote, ‘it’s just a bad day, not a bad life.’”

“yeah?”

“it’s the opposite for me. it’s not just a bad day; it’s a bad life.”

you speak with such endearing humor and it works like a charm in making the atmosphere lighter. he’d pass it off as a self-deprecating joke, but based on your few yet impactful encounters so far, he doesn’t think you’re stretching the truth far. if he’s being honest, if your first meeting happened differently, he’d assume that you’re living a perfectly comfortable life based on your appearance alone.

“even now, i’m too embarrassed to show my face to you. but we’re neighbors, so i’ll try to get over it.”

“tell you what, let’s start with a clean slate.” he eagerly makes a proposal. “you can erase all the embarrassing memories of you from my brain.”

“h-how do i do that?”

“flick my forehead!”

you blink, eyes darting around as you try to make sense of what he said. “i was expecting some sort of stupid hypnosis.”

“or that,” he switches up, slapping the table as if you just came up with something revolutionary.

why did he say flick his forehead anyway? he knows you gotta have an overwhelming amount of pent-up emotions. you could go deku on him and blow his head off.

“let’s do that!”

“no, i like it.” you almost interrupt him. “i’ll flick your forehead.”

but he did suggest it… and you act so gentle and sophisticated. he doubts that you would make it hurt.

“here i go!”

he gets his bangs out of the way. “okay!”

he squeezes his eyes shut, bracing himself for impact. “please have mercy.”

son of a bitch. that hurt.

“ow!” he rubs the affected area, face twisting in pain. his eyes flicker to you in disbelief. “you didn’t hold back, huh?!”

you smile at him sweetly. “did it work?”

—

“you fed them, right?”

“of course i did. you?”

“yes, this morning.”

“okay, that’s good.”

you and jungkook sit in silence after that, eyes twinkling with wonder as they follow the stunning movements of the goldfishes.

deep inside, he’s feeling restless. you make him nervous, and he’s also nervous about you noticing that he’s nervous. it’s been a tireless cycle.

he sneaks a glance at you.

perhaps he’s overthinking again. it seems like you don’t even care that he’s less than an arm’s length from you.

he doesn’t know whether to be relieved or annoyed.

he sighs without a sound, comfortably leaning all of his weight on the couch.

“it’s called the dreamboat.”

“what is?”

the boat you cried in— can’t say that. you might flick his forehead again.

“at the amusement park.”

“oh…”

it falls silent.

jungkook is thankful when you have a follow-up question because he hasn’t thought of a new topic yet.

“i wonder why they called it that.”

“oh, because the owner’s daughter loves boats!” he shares one of the few fun facts he learned over the past year. “that’s why it was designed like it came from a fairy tale too.”

a mirthful smile forms on your face “my guess was too far off.”

“what was it?”

“mhmm,” you hum, folding your arms over your chest. “dreamboat is a word used to describe a handsome man, right?”

jungkook nods his head like he knew that all along. no, he didn’t.

“so i imagined the owner met their handsome partner on a boat- no, or a ship,” the epiphany hits you in the middle of your sentence. “they have to be rich since they built an amusement park.”

a romantic. you imagined a love story based on a word alone. jungkook’s teeth dig into his lower lip as he tries to tame his wide grin.

“that does sound like a good theory.” he casually bends over, resting his elbows over his spread thighs. “i think i like it better than the truth.”

“how did you know that though? the truth?”

he shrugs. “i work there.”

“you work there?” your voice goes up a pitch. “i didn’t know…”

“you? do you study or work?”

“call center,” you answer to get it over with. to his surprise, your body language shifts and you’re now facing him. “what’s it like working there? is it fun?”

apparently, a job at the amusement park is now joining his very short list of your interests: after motorbikes, smoking, and fishes.

“it has good days and bad days…” he trails off. he hasn’t truly given this much thought, so he’s also learning about himself. “but i didn’t expect it to be as fun as it is. sometimes it’s boring, but when it’s fun, it’s really fun.”

you scoot closer. “do you get to ride for free?”

ah, yes, the deciding factor when he was offered the job.

“there’s an employee discount, actually! but i do it for free anyway…” he shyly scratches his head. “don’t tell anyone i said that.”

“i don’t have anyone to tell.”

his heart skips a beat when he hears your laugh genuinely for the first time. quiet and delicate and airy— you grace this blue summer night like a spring breeze that takes away with it everything that burdens your mind and heart.

once again, the aquarium becomes the most interesting collection of atoms in the building. as for him, he is still unable to keep his eyes off you.

“did you have a pet fish growing up? you really like them a lot.”

“no,” you reply. “i didn’t care about them until now.”

“really?” his eyes grow wide. “wow, i seriously thought you were a marine life enthusiast, or something like that.”

you give him a look. “i thought you were a marine life enthusiast.”

“we were both wrong.” he shrugs. “but what made you care about them so much now?”

“i don’t know. i just thought of something when i was looking at them.”

he feels your hesitance to continue. your eyes connect briefly and he communicates that he’s listening with an open mind.

“they’re different from other pets, you know, like cats and dogs. they can’t make a sound when they’re in pain.”

in the dark room, he sees the melancholy seeping from the cracked edges of you. although you act relaxed, your spoken thoughts paint the picture of a person whose sensitivity and sympathy touch upon everything.

“there should at least be somebody who cares enough to check up on them and make sure that they’re alive and well.”

“…and you wanted to be that somebody for them.” he concludes with a hushed voice, more to himself than you.

“but it turns out they have you already.”

“it’s not just me now.”

he mirrors your soft smile. it’s nice to see your frown turned upside down for a change. what was weighing down on him has become lighter, and he hopes it’s the same for you.

“the sun is about to rise.” you announce after a peek at the grandfather clock. “we should go home.”

jungkook isn’t a big fan of comfortable silence, but he can get used to it. he maintains a respectable distance from you in the elevator, engaging himself with the ascending number of floors on the screen. when the door opens, you’re the first to step out and he follows suit.

your destination isn’t far. you pause in front of unit 1303.

“uhm, this is me.”

yup, the same door he saw you come out of.

“i’m not far, just at the end of the hall. 1311, if you ever need anything.”

your eyes trace the direction of where he’s pointing before you nod in understanding. with a hand gripping the door handle, you offer him one final smile.

“goodnight, jungkook.”

—

if others cheese over good morning texts first thing after opening their eyes, then jungkook’s case is one of a kind.

he rolls over to his side, puffy eyes from sleep forming thinner crescent moons as he zooms in on your reflection on the glass.

10:08am

[attached image]

they’re happy and fed :)

10:10am

[attached image]

babies are getting bigger

this is how his mornings have been going for the past two weeks. he wakes up and he checks his phone for fish breakfast updates from you. in return, he sends fish dinner updates to you at night. he was the first one to send you a picture following the night you awkwardly bumped into each other. he didn’t want to wait around anymore.

were his palms sweaty? did he throw his phone on the bed after?

no longer relevant.

he now knows that your favorite color is blue and you have wednesdays and fridays off for the next month. that’s pretty cool.

another thing he’s taken notice of is that you don’t use emojis or emoticons aside from the smiley face.

although, there was once a miracle.

he scrolls up until he reaches your conversation from four days ago.

11:59pm

LOL i’m actually allergic to seafood ㅜㅜ

😭😭😭

“ah, i’m annoyed!” he kicks his feet; half of the blanket falls to the floor. “she’s so cute!”

things are indeed going great, greater than he imagined, but if he has to complain, he wishes he could see you in person more. he’s at work when you’re home and vice versa, so you don’t cross paths despite living on the same apartment floor. that 3am encounter was a rare phenomenon, it turns out. he chanced upon you a few times while running to work and you were feeding the fishes breakfast, but those conversations were barely conversations.

‘i just thought of something when i was looking at them… they can’t make a sound when they’re in pain.’

he hasn’t stopped thinking about that.

—

“when are you asking her out on a date?”

taehyung is on a mission to tease him for life even from daegu. he’s only thankful that his best friend isn’t video calling him from the toilet again because he’s currently having his lunch.

“i don’t know.” he grouches. “it doesn’t feel like the right time. i don’t want to scare her off.”

“when’s that ‘right time’?”

“i’ll figure it out…” he sighs, setting down the half-eaten sandwich on the table. “how do i say it…? i feel like- hm, she’s no- she’s not in the best emotional state right now.”

“so you admit it,” taehyung raises an eyebrow, smirking. “she has issues.”

that didn’t sit right with jungkook at all. he feels obligated to defend your honor.

“hey, stop being rude. you haven’t even met her yet.”

“come on, bro! i’m only looking out for you.”

the atmosphere shifts into a more serious tone.

“i don’t want you to get hurt trying to fix another person again. it was hard to watch.”

he moved on and learned his lesson— he wants to spit out as a rebuttal, but his best friend gave him much to think about. would it make sense to say that he’s moved on but he hasn’t healed?

“i know,” is what he ends up saying absentmindedly, distracted by thoughts that he isn’t keen on sharing.

and as if he’s been slapped back into reality, he fixes his posture and picks up his sandwich. “so, what’s up? have you even slept yet?”

“no,” taehyung responds nonchalantly. between the two of them, he absolutely has the more fucked up sleeping schedule. “i’ve been awake since 12am.”

“didn’t you say you’d spend the entire vacation sleeping?”

“this vacation was a trap.”

the camera darts to the abandoned mop on the floor.

“my mom makes me do all the chores everyday. this is worse than my actual job!”

a devilish grin is drawn on jungkook’s face. ah, the grass is always greener on the other side.

—

“mondays stay to be a pain in the ass.”

does it look like he’s exhausted and dirty from chasing around children all day? jungkook is stressed as he checks himself out on his front camera. he’s walking home from the bus stop after clocking out of work.

the street is mostly quiet, until a roaring engine approaches and he cringes at the raucous sound assaulting his eardrums. he’s already at the sidewalk for his safety and in accordance with the law, but he feels compelled to stay further back and wait for the vehicle to pass by.

seconds later, a black harley races past.

jungkook is dumbfounded as he tries to piece the puzzle together.

the lights are bright, and your pink hair blowing with the wind is even brighter.

“w-was that…?”

—

he was going to bring it up over text last night, but he decided to reserve it for physical conversation because he wants to see your face light up again.

you’re so fucking cool.

he’s both amazed and envious.

also, he’s pretty damn sure that you’re rich. he doesn’t understand why you’re living in this place and enduring the graveyard shift at the call center.

a foolish smile is permanently plastered on his face as he sketches a commissioned digital portrait. he really should focus, or else he might end up drawing you instead of his client.

he spins on his chair, pushing the wheels towards the bed, where he comfortably extends his feet over. almost missed it. the power has been out for an hour and he doesn’t expect it to come back until dawn. he was pissed about this being a normal occurrence during the first year of his stay here, but he’s gotten quite used to it. invested in a powerbank that almost looks like it can charge a car’s battery and he’s all set.

the aggressive pounding at the door drowns out the pop ballad he’s listening to.

“what? who could it be at this hour?”

he pauses the song, turning up the brightness of his ipad to use it as a makeshift flashlight.

the last person he expected to appear at his door says the last thing he expected them to say.

“jungkook, i think there’s a ghost in my apartment.”

—

jungkook sets down a hot cup of tea infront of you. in his mind, he thanks himself for keeping everything his mom sends him, even the things he do not like.

“thanks,” you mumble, picking it up by the handle.

he patiently sits on the other side of the table for two, giving you the time to calm yourself down from the horror that you witnessed. he has his emergency light propped up on the kitchen counter. he was saving it for when he finds himself in a grave situation, like a total blackout or an apocalypse. he didn’t imagine he’d end up using it for an unusual night like this.

“are you feeling better?” he asks worriedly.

you nod. “yeah, i just don’t want to be alone right now.”

“i’m here. you can stay until whenever you want.”

“thank you.”

you sigh with your eyes closed. you look like life has been drained out of you.

“i’m really scared, jungkook.”

“are you sure about what you saw? i mean, it’s dark. your mind could’ve been playing tricks on you.”

“i saw him. i really him saw him!” you frantically defend yourself. “i was washing my hands then i turned around and i saw him, sitting at the edge of my bed! he looked at me!”

his heart drops to his stomach when your chin begins to wobble and he sees your eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“and his skin was burnt off, jungkook.” you enunciate the words to emphasize the severity of what you experienced. “it’s so horrifying, i had to run.”

“hey hey hey- it’s okay. i believe you.” he squeezes your cold, trembling hands. “you’re safe now. it’s only us here. no spirits- i promise.”

he’s losing his mind a little bit. he’s holding the hands of the girl he likes and her pinky is wrapped around his. you’ve been putting him through a rollercoaster that, for once, he is terrified of. he wants to bask in this moment… but the specific detail you revealed is bothering him.

“and you said… he was burnt?”

“yeah, why?”

he presses his lips in a thin line, shaking his head. “no, it’s nothing.”

“there’s something.” you stop crying. “i see it on your face.”

“i swear, it's nothing!”

“you’re lying!” you accuse him. “what is it?”

“forget it, ____.”

“jungkook,” you say his name sternly. “tell me.”

shit, he’s done for. you can’t do this to him when he’s trying to protect you.

he swallows nervously. “but i don’t want to scare you.”

“i saw a ghost. what else can scare me?”

“the truth is…” he pauses, still weighed down by hesitance. but he realizes he has reached the point of no return. also, you’re squeezing his hands a little too tight. “this building had to be restored. it burned down a decade ago. people suspect there was foul play, but the firemen said it was faulty wiring.”

he’s the one telling the story, but he also feels chills run down his spine.

“oh… so you’re saying…”

“i… believe so?” he winces with a mix of guilt and fear. “but it’s the first time i’m hearing of a ghost story here. i haven’t had any encounter either.”

“i need to move.” you declare, not an ounce of humor in your voice.

“don’t!” he protests.

perhaps a little too passionately. could he be any more obvious?

“what do you mean? you need to leave too!”

“i can’t,” he fakes a pained expression. “who’s going to take care of the fishes?”

that works like a charm.

you untangle your hands and lean against the chair, transforming into a pensive state.

if he wasn’t going to convince you to stay, the fishes would.

“fuck,” you curse in a low whisper, sipping on your tea.

—

“i’m not the spoiled brat you think i am.” you frown, dangling your feet from the bed. “i sleep on the floor too.”

“i’d be rude if i let you do that.” jungkook insists as he fluffs his pillow. “i’m comfortable right here. i’m used to it.”

he was relieved that you weren’t stubborn enough to go back to your place and force yourself to sleep there. after seeing how terrified you were, it would’ve been impossible for him to close his eyes and shut down his brain from worrying. he hasn’t seen a ghost, but they have to be real. he likes to believe that we do not cease to exist and we have some place to go when we die. however, that does co-exist with being alarmed by a ghost of a burnt body sitting on your bed. he isn’t going to let you go back in there tonight. no way.

“you should get some rest. just tell me if you need anything, okay?”

“thank you, jungkook.”

“it’s no problem!”

his name sounds so sweet when it comes from your lips. he can’t help but to feel giddy every time he hears it.

you lie down on the bed, facing the portable fan strategically set up on jungkook’s gaming chair. on the other hand, the emergency light is at the nightstand, acting as a night lamp.

he checks the time on his ipad: 1:48am. his battery percentage: 55%. he’s not yet sleepy, so he decides to continue working until he gets the low battery warning for 20%.

sitting down without back support becomes too uncomfortable after a while, especially when drawing. he doesn’t realize it when he changes positions, too focused on drawing the intricate floral patterns on the client’s blouse.

“is that your girlfriend?”

jungkook turns his head towards the voice and your face is only inches away from his. the word stops for a moment.

“is she okay with me sleeping here?”

he scoots a little further away to grant his racing heart some mercy. “u-uhmm, no.”

“no…?” you repeat slowly, sounding concerned.

“no, as in she’s not my girlfriend!” he further elaborates in distress. “i don’t have a girlfriend.”

“okay, cool. you scared me.” you huff out a chuckle. “i don’t like being the girl who causes problems.”

“no, you’re safe.” he manages to also laugh. “no one’s coming to pull your hair.”

“then who is she?” you point at the screen with your pouted lips, particularly the reference photo that’s been burnt to his memory.

“a client. people pay me to draw them.”

“oh, so she’s one of your french girls?” you crack a humorous remark.

the reference catches him off guard, even though he should’ve totally seen it coming.

he squints. “mhmmm, i guess? kind of like that… except they’re not, you know, naked.”

“i see,” you hum in interest. “you don’t like doing nude drawings?”

“honestly? i don’t know. i’ve never done it before.”

“no one’s asked you?”

he shakes his head. “no one,”

“would you do mine if i ask you to?”

he secretly pinches his thigh to prove that he’s not dreaming.

what the fuck?

did he hear you right?

it sounded like such a genuine and casual question in the name of art, but the worst thing he could do while his crush is sleeping over is to imagine her naked. he feels the warmth spread across his cheeks, possibly reaching his ears.

“hey, breathe!” you giggle with a push of his shoulder. “you don’t have to answer that. sorry if it made you uncomfortable.”

“sorry, i was just surprised.”

he forces himself to laugh and act like the question isn’t putting him through a crisis in so many levels.

“i’ll let you finish your work.” you smile at him, pulling up the blanket.

please do and stop shaking up my heart.

“goodnight.”

“goodnight, ____.”

—

jungkook is still flustered by the conversation. since you opened up the topic, he did give it some serious thought. he thinks he wouldn’t mind if someone asked him to do it. he makes all of his negotiations and transactions online so everyone so far have been a stranger. as for the people he personally know, unless it’s his significant other, wouldn’t it be awkward?

anyway, the chances of it happening are low. stressing over it is pointless.

he needs to finish this commission and move on to the next, or else he’d be encumbered by the pile of deadlines. he’s making the most out of this vacation so he can save more money and work won’t have to interfere so often with his studies.

sometimes he doesn’t understand why he works so hard either. his family isn’t struggling financially. in fact, he’s studying to take over their businesses. his parents have been nothing but kind and supportive, but he is never compelled to ask them for money. he feels this strong and all-consuming need to prove himself as capable and independent. nothing compares to the gratification of buying his wants and needs with the money he sacrificed his blood, sweat, and tears for. he can’t stop himself.

“i can’t sleep…” a quiet murmur reaches his ears. “may i watch you draw?”

oh, he thought you’ve fallen asleep twenty minutes ago.

“of course,”

he is more than happy to move closer to give you a good view of his progress.

if there’s one thing he isn’t ashamed to boast about— it’s this.

it’s silent except for your breathing and the taps of his pen on the screen. he’s a tad self-conscious with the presence of engrossed eyes, but he would describe the atmosphere as peaceful.

“you’re such a great artist.” you whisper in awe.

jungkook can’t recall the last time he felt this simple yet profound type of joy.

—

true to your words, you did move as morning came.

jungkook wakes up to an empty bed and a commotion outside.

“____?”

he knocks on the bathroom door, not expecting it to swing open from the action. he takes his chances and peeks inside with another call of your name, but you’re still nowhere to be seen.

did you really leave without saying goodbye?

he sighs in disappointment. he was planning on buying you breakfast, too. he knew it. he should’ve made the invitation last night.

a series of loud thumps prompts him to scratch his head in irritation. he’s tired and sleep-deprived and he didn’t see his crush’s face first thing in the morning. the day has barely started and it’s already a bad one.

he opens the door with a considerable force, mouth running before his eyes could perceive his surroundings.

“could you guys turn it down? people are still slee-”

“jungkook! you’re awake.”

you jog over to him with a more cheery expression than last night’s. there’s no windows but the sun is shining over his face.

“sorry about the noise. i’m moving to a new unit.”

he can see that, but his brain remains in a muddled state. how did you make the arrangements overnight? he gapes at the men hauling your things to your new apartment.

“1309?” he exclaims.

“yeah,” you shyly reply. “it’s the only vacant one left.”

almost but not quite. does he have the right to complain? you’d be one door away.

he’s fucking ecstatic.

if he just sets aside the fact that it took a ghastly ghost encounter for the stars to align.

the wrinkles on his forehead disappear and become crinkles by his eyes, accompanied by an excited beam.

“should we feed them together then grab breakfast after?”

—

time passes by too fast for jungkook’s liking. summer vacation ended a month ago and he’s back to busting his ass off at the university. he misses the days and nights when the only thing he was going insane about is you.

what’s taking you so long to reply? did he say something stupid? does he look nice? smell nice? are you crying again? that ghost isn’t bothering you again, is he?

now that he needs to focus on something less interesting, say studying taxation and business law for subsequent long quizzes tomorrow, he’s back to crushing cans of energy drinks.

fuck, he misses you.

your purple hair tie is still wrapped around the knob of his bathroom sink faucet and he keeps forgetting to give it back to you. you make him nervous but he forgets he ever felt that way after five minutes with you. he craves to be connected with you on a more intimate level. he wants to be more than just a neighbor you make small talk with, over text. he wants to be more than a friend you sometimes eat with, on your days off. but he likes you so much that he can be content with the way things are, so long as it means you won’t go further away.

he’s absolutely pumped to hear his friends berate him for being stupid enough to enjoy the bare minimum from a woman.

an email notification interrupts his intense cramming session with his ipad and his illegally downloaded ebooks.

No Name

Subject: IMPORTANT! READ ME!

snack break at the aquarium?

he already has a strong inkling on who the sender could be; he clicks the email address and unsurprisingly, it says that it’s you.

did you seriously go out of your way to email him because he told you that he was going to keep his phone turned off while studying?

ridiculous.

so cute and ridiculous.

—

“i brought your favorite.” you meekly present your gift to jungkook. “uh, actually i’m not sure if it’s your favorite. but it’s become mine since you gave it to me.”

jungkook gapes at the bag of his favorite gummies sitting on his lap. just for comparison, the packet he gave you that day you first met came from his pocket. this one is almost as wide as his thighs slightly spread apart.

but most importantly, what did you just say?

“y-you didn’t throw it away?”

“what are you saying?” you pout, a little hurt by the question. “why would i throw it away?”

“you should’ve. you can’t just accept food from strangers!”

he was being pretty before. he humbly admits that. he just wanted an excuse to bring you up so he whined about it for weeks, but he was never genuinely upset. not specifically about that, anyway.

“why are you so upset?” you match the rise of his voice. “i’m fine and we ended up being friends. now say ‘thank you’ and open it!”

“ah, sure-” he panics, fumbling with the zigzag edges of the packaging. you were kind of hot for that. “thank you! this was seriously so thoughtful of you.”

you nod in satisfaction, stealing a gummy worm the second that the plastic is torn open. “you’re welcome!”

—

“i should stop eating.” jungkook mumbles to himself, chewing the other half of his nth gummy worm of the night.

“yeah,” you agree, pulling your hand away from the bag with an impressive show of restraint. “we should.”

the two of you probably look bizarre in the eyes of strangers, particularly those who have seen you one too many nights admire the golden creatures like you’re being hypnotized and nothing else in the world matters. jungkook never knows what’s running in your head, but to him, these moments are all about being beside you. the loud beating of his heart could be attributed to the caffeine, or the bare skin of your knees touching and no one daring to move.

“the tank feels…” there is a delay as you search for the appropriate word. “dull. can’t there be more variety of plants?”

“i tried,” he laughs at the funny memory you evoked. “when i came back the next day, two of them already ate everything.”

you gasp. “everything? is that normal?”

he opens his mouth to speak, but you unknowingly interrupt him with a raise of your hand.

“okay, i’m searching on naver.”

jungkook behaves for the fifteen minutes that follow, sneaking a peek at your phone screen every now and then with squinted eyes. you read fast, and your knees shake when you have to think hard. they’re small things. they don’t matter that much. but they’re still parts of your entirety which he is to be well-aquainted with.

“according to this person, we can try giving them marimo moss balls to play with… and hmmm-” you hum, lips puckering into a pout. “then for plants, anubias and java ferns?”

“i still know the address of the place i bought the plants from before. we can go when you’re free.” he offers, jumping on the opportunity to spend time with you outside of this building.

“you free sunday?”

“is the afternoon alright? i have to go to uni in the morning.”

please say yes.

“sure, that works.”

he breaks into a triumphant smile.

yes!

—

jungkook has been looking forward to this day all week. he breezed through work and college, motivated to finish all his tasks so he could enjoy his time with you without any worries. he knows it’s not a date, but anyone can be excited to meet up with a friend.

“you look pretty.” he smiles, breaking the silence in the elevator.

“you can barely see my face.”

“i see it!”

your nonchalance slowly fades, seemingly replaced by unease, which confuses jungkook. you put on a white face mask from the pocket of your hoodie before facing him.

“now you don’t!” you banter with him playfully.

“too late,” he sticks his tongue out. “i can draw it from memory.”

this is your usual day outfit, a basic classic. a hoodie paired with shorts and sneakers. the face mask is part of it too. in a crowd, you could be anyone, even him, if only your hair doesn’t stand out among the neutrals. he likes it. he likes how you match outfits without trying to. you get more dressed up at night, which makes sense since you go to work.

“so you can draw me even if i flash you just once?”

scandalized, he almost chokes on his own spit. “____!”

“i’m joking!” you giggle.

“no, please do it.” he encourages you in jest.

that earns him a slap on the face. he touches the affected area. it didn’t hurt at all, you did it with a light hand, but he gapes at you dumbstruck.

“you can joke about it but i can’t?!”

you only laugh at his reaction. he also imagines that he looks funny. not long after, the elevator opens and you drag him out by his hand.

—

the cashier pushes back your extended hand. “sorry, we don’t accept card payments.”

while you pout sadly at the rejection, jungkook rushes to grab the wallet that you made him hide because this was your ‘idea.’

“here,” he puts down the paper bills on the counter.

“i’ll pay you back.”

“no, it’s fine. my treat for the fishes since they’d probably eat them anyway.” he jokes to comfort you.

“yeah, okay,” you respond listlessly. “then i’ll buy our dinner. samgyupsal?”

“call!”

jungkook guesses you have come to know him well too.

“okay, let’s go.”

he invites you to leave after the cashier gives him the paper bag. as you walk out together, your shoulders brush, and for a brief moment, he assumes that you would cling to him. he doesn’t know why he keeps doing that. you never do. he continues walking and he doesn’t even notice that he has left you behind.

the door is half-open and he’s stood in place, eyes scanning the store like he just lost a child at the mall.

of course, he finds you hunched over infront of an aquarium inhabited by a betta fish.

“do you want to get it?” he whispers, mindful of scaring away the little creature. “i don’t think i’ve seen a purple fish before.”

not even in art or television. it’s strange.

he feels your eyes glued to him. persuaded by curiosity, he turns his cheek.

his breathing stops when he sees your face so close.

he doesn’t know you removed your mask. you’re staring at him so intensely with those beautiful eyes, sparkling with the reflections of light. you’re dazzling, and intimidating, and it’s doing dangerous things to his heart.

a little nudge and he’d give you an eskimo kiss.

if there’s a perfect romantic moment to kiss your lips, he’d say it’s right now.

“it’s not the fish i want.”

he doesn’t hear you.

do you see how entranced he is by your lips?

“the shipwreck, it’s beautiful.”

his eyes chase the sight of them when you return your gaze to the aquarium.

“like you,” the words slip out without thought.

—

a soft smile tugs at the corner of your lips. you blink away the tears and you stomach the heavy in your chest. you know jungkook is still staring at you with those bedroom eyes and there was no deep thought behind his compliment. will he still find you beautiful when he sees who you are beyond the surface?

“like me…”

—

after dinner, you and jungkook planted the plants and installed the shipwreck you wanted. it was not cheap, but it was worth it, if it meant seeing your priceless joy. he carries around more cash than necessary when he goes out with you. he’s praying that you didn’t see his sigh of relief when the waiter said the restaurant accepts card. he doesn’t know much about your circumstances, why you stopped going to school and why you opted to work instead, but he knows you lead a lifestyle different from his. he’s not ignorant. he estimates your bag is five times more expensive than his ipad. but with how you’re soundly sleeping on his shoulder, he can say that it’s justified.

he learns that you’ve been working straight for fifteen days, with 10-20 hours of overtime per week. you practically live there. he can feel the weight of your shoulders on him, which is why he doesn’t have the heart to wake you up despite his bladder’s need of the bathroom. this is probably the closest he will ever be to you. he can’t be the one to walk away in this memory.

the humming noise of the aquarium’s filter fills the silence.

it always feels like he’s dreaming when he’s with you.

“after all that money we spent, we should really name them now.”

you release the yawn you were holding back while speaking, head dropping on his shoulder. jungkook stiffens at the suddenness of the physical contact, but then relaxes thanks to the tranquilizing scent of your shampoo— it has to be coconut, with some sort of flowers that perfectly compliment it.

“have any ideas?”

“yes,” he hears the smile in your voice. “you know those two who have similar hues?”

he hums, body vibrating underneath your soft cheek.

“tangerine, and then clementine for the smaller one.”

“those are cute names.”

“you like them?”

“yes, they really sound like siblings!”

“okay, i won.” you shrug your shoulders as far as they can go, as if you’re so pleased you could burst. “that’s settled. your turn!”

“hmmm…”

he unconsciously bounces his knee as he racks his brain, which you swat with a disapproving noise, mumbling “making me dizzy!”

“sorry,” he winces.

your giggles are infectious, bringing tickles somewhere deep inside of him, butterflies in his stomach coming alive like spring only arrived.

“shouldn’t we at least have one named after a flower?” he suggests. “hold on, i’ll search for good ones.”

“let’s give the flower name to the yellow one. she stands out, like a flower.”

you blink wearily, a soft smile amidst the haze, sent to the yellow fish who swam closer as if it heard itself being called.

he reads the list of yellow flower names out loud.

“sunflower, daisy, azalea… for-forthysia? lily, cosmos, dahlia-”

“dahlia-” you quietly repeat the name in awe, clinging to his arm to steal his attention.

“dahlia it is!”

“i wish dahlia would live forever.” you sigh, haunted by the inevitable.

“dahlia will outlive us.” he chuckles.

“i’ll protect her from the afterlife.”

he squeezes your hand tenderly. “i’ll be right there with you.”

and with unspoken mutual understanding, your fingers intertwine. neither one of you wants to let go, he feels it strongly and he is sure of it. his cheeks may very well begin to ache with how elated he is.

“that’s three… you know, i saw someone on youtube who named their fish coral. i thought it was a very pretty name. how about that?”

“i like it,” you chirp. “i kind of wish it was my name.”

“should i just give it to you?”

you lift your head a little, sleepy eyes connecting with his. “do you know someone who has the same name as me?”

“no,” he slowly shakes his head. “you’re the only one.”

“let’s give it to the one with the longest tail.”

your head drops on his shoulder, as if it’s where it belongs.

“i like being the only one.”

you fell asleep seconds after that.

he found entertainment in watching as much as the goldfishes playing around with the shipwreck. it’s a wooden ship split in two, with cracks and holes big enough for them to swim in and out of. even the sails have holes. the drawings on them are unrecognizable beyond his imagination.

it’s quite charming, but he doesn’t understand what’s special about it the way you do.

a teardrop drips from the tip of your nose and crashes on his arm, but he doesn’t feel it.

eventually, it dries, and is erased from history.

#jungkook au #jungkook one shot #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook drabble #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #bts fluff #bts reaction

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onthecrescentofthehill · 6 months

Text

I feel like this is such a key moment in Shuro and Falin’s dynamic that i’ve never seen talked about and wish was mentioned again in canon. ‼️THIS IS NOT A SHIP POST‼️ for clarity but to me it adds such an interesting layer to how Shuro must feel towards her and the imbalance in their relationship…..

So much of his character is feeling alienated and inaccessible to the people around him, at first in his own family and then culturally after he left home. the party doesn’t even know his actual name. he’s under so much pressure and could feel like anyone Knowing another side of him would compromise his obligations, and partly why he resents what he views as Laios’s compulsive earnestness so much. but at the same time I think him seeing how much patience and love she has for Laios makes him wonder if he could be safe with her. and in the caterpillar scene he sees Falin finding beauty in something others find repulsive and inconsequential (plus in the recent Adventure Bible we learn he also has an interest in critters….)

I’m not sure when the caterpillar scene takes place in relation to his nightmare, either way she literally enters his subconscious and saves his life!! I’m so so so curious about the details tbh. I can’t imagine how humiliating that would feel but at the same time it took away the need for him to confess any of his weaknesses, Falin took it upon herself and the most Insane part to me is he probably doesn’t even remember what she saw, because Marcille didn’t remember the content of hers. and there’s no way he’d ASK, and Falin wouldn’t volunteer that information.

anywayyyyy Shuro knows she’s seen the deep pain and loneliness at his core and guided him out. he wants that, he DID get it, but doesn’t know HOW!!!! so of course he’d try to chase that in reality and he would feel an intense closeness with her because she’s the only one who who’s Literally Seen that side of him, one that he might not have a full realization of.

it rly captures this imbalance between them that I think Shuro really wants to bridge even if he’s unequipped for it, and Falin doesn’t reciprocate. like. You See Me, Can You Please Show Me What You See? he knows, factually, that she could understand and help him. but he only offers to make her “comfortable.” and at the end of the day she does for him what she would do for anyone, often at great risk to herself (imo her desire for independence in the AB demonstrates her wanting to break this) he knows this and it would be enough, he even admires that about her greatly. but it doesn’t leave much room for her own self actualization.

I don’t have a conclusion other than thank you Ryoko Kui. thank you.

#dm txt #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #falin touden #shuro #toshiro nakamoto #dungeon meshi spoilers #toshiro haters LOG OFF ✋ thank you

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teapartyprincess4two · 6 months

Text

Parenthood- M. Sturniolo

pairing: Mom!reader x Dad!Matt

classification: SFW & NSFW headcannons

inspiration: request

warnings: some 18+ content, use of Y/n, established relationship, I didn’t name the children but Matt has a son and a daughter in this 👍🏻

summary: head cannons of dad!Matt.

Parenthood- C. Sturniolo (Chris’s Version)

—

☆SFW

From the moment Matt met you, he knew he wanted you to be the mother of his children. Both of your children were received with so much love and joy, but Matt still had to learn how to navigate being a boy dad and a girl dad.

☆ Your firstborn is a boy and Matt can’t contain the excitement he feels when he first finds out.

☆ He’s overprotective of you throughout the entire pregnancy, ready to take care of your every need.

☆ Your son is hyper, rambunctious, curious and a force to be reckoned with. He barges into the room with so much energy balled up into his small figure that he’s bouncing off the walls.

☆ When your daughter is born, she’s the complete opposite of your son. She’s calm, quiet, and docile.

☆ It takes Matt some time to adjust to having a baby girl, but as soon as he gets in the groove of it he can’t remember what life was like before having a daughter.

☆ Matt’s playing soccer outside with your son, playing pirates, boxing, and building elaborate Lego sets with him.

☆ “No dad! We’re pirates! We have to steal all the gold!” your son explains, adjusting his make-shift eyepatch.

☆ “I thought we were ninjas?!” Matt’s out of breath, running after a fast toddler was extremely tiring.

☆ “No! We just beat the ninjas! They tried sneaking onto the ship, remember?” Your son’s imagination was too fast for Matt to keep up with.

☆ “Argh matey,” Matt replies, ready to continue with the game.

☆ But when your daughter wants attention he’s playing dress up, attending a tea party, getting his nails and makeup done, and talking to all her stuffed animals.

☆ “Daddy Miss Twinkle is mad at you for eating her cookies!” your daughter whispers, almost like she’s gossiping.

☆ Matt has lost track over which stuffed animal is which, but he’s assuming Miss Twinkle is the unicorn across from him.

☆ “I’m sorry Miss Twinkle,” he apologizes, shaking the toy’s hand.

☆ “Dad that was Lady Unicorn. Miss Twinkle is the teddy bear in the pink dress,” your daughter slaps her forehead. “Oops,” he laughs, taking a fake sip of tea.

☆ Matt has learned to be silly, fatherhood softening him and allowing him to abandon all embarrassment.

☆ “What are you wearing?” you laugh, Matt’s serious face adding to the comedy of the situation.

☆ He’s fully decked out in a pizza costume, trying to make your children laugh. “I’m a piece of pizza,” he replies goofily, putting on his best Italian accent.

☆ “You’re so silly daddy,” your son giggles. In his eyes, Matt is the funniest person on the planet.

☆ Your daughter is not as amused, but she smiles nonetheless.

☆ Matt loves doing domestic things with his little family. He’ll randomly pull out a baking sheet, all the ingredients to make cookies, and throw on an apron.

☆ “You’re doing so good, baby,” he coos, watching as your daughter throws an entire, uncracked egg into the mixing bowl. He wasn’t going to use that batch, but the words of encouragement have her smiling.

☆ Children fight all the time, especially when they’re siblings, and your kids are no exception. The year age gap doesn’t help either, so you’ll often find your kids bickering over the smallest things.

☆ “It’s not your turn to play, though!” your son attempts to reason, yanking the controller out of his sisters hands.

☆ “You played all day bozo!” she replies, sticking her tongue out at him.

☆ Matt hears the fight from his room, reluctantly getting up from his comfortable spot on his bed and walking over to where his children are.

☆ “What’s going on?” he asks, arms crossed and a displeased look etched on his face.

☆ “She’s being so annoying, dad!” your son exclaims, and before Matt knows it his kids are pushing, slapping, and punching each other.

☆ “HEY! BEHAVE!” Matt pulls them off of each other, scolding them both without favoritism. He goes on to lecture them about the importance of siblings and doesn’t leave until they hug and make up.

☆ Matt’s entire camera roll is filled with videos and pictures of his kids. Kindergarten ceremonies, family vacations, first haircuts, candid photos; all of it is being documented by Matt at all times.

☆ If he’s ever away from home for a long time, he’s scrolling through his gallery and reminiscing on all his memories with his babies.

☆ Your son is obsessed with video games, something that he and Matt bond over. And although your daughter isn’t as invested, she’s still really good at them.

☆ Mortal Kombat is a game they all play and enjoy together.

☆ “Move over and watch the queen play,” your daughter jokes, taking the controller from Matt after watching him lose time and time again to her brother.

☆ “Yeah, you wish you could beat me,” your son scoffs, readying up for another round.

☆ Your daughter chooses a girly character, which has your son rolling his eyes, but as soon as the round begins he can’t get a single hit in.

☆ Matt is in shock at her level of expertise, she was using combos he didn’t even know about.

☆ “Okay my turn against you, babygirl,” Matt takes the controller from his son, ready to play all night long if he has to.

☆ Having teenagers is hard and tiring, Matt feels like he ages 10 years in just one day with the amount of stress his kids cause him.

☆ Your daughter’s brain is suddenly occupied with nothing but boys and your son is starting to take girls on dates.

☆ “That skirt is too short,” you warn your daughter.

☆ “It is not,” she fights back, genuinely finding nothing wrong with her provocative outfit.

☆ Matt doesn’t have to say anything, one stern look has her trudging back upstairs to change.

☆ “Dad can I borrow the car?” your son asks nervously, avoiding Matt’s eyes at all costs.

☆ “For?” Matt’s not stupid, he knows what teenagers do.

☆ “Nothing, just hanging with some friends,” your son replies, but it doesn’t take long for Matt to get the truth out of him.

☆ Overall, fatherhood has been extremely rewarding for Matt. He sees it in the way his children love and look out for each other and what a great mom you are.

☆ “I love you guys so much,” Matt gushes, pulling the three of you in for a group hug.

☆ “Dad stop being weird,” your son groans, your daughter seconds his statement, but they don’t pull away from the hug.

☆NSFW

Having two children can take up a lot of personal time, especially when your daughter needs you and your son needs Matt. There’s never really any time for you and Matt to just exist as a couple, but he works hard to make sure you feel special everyday.

☆ You’re cooking lunch, the pure domesticity of your actions being enough to turn Matt on.

☆ The kids are still at school and if he’s convincing enough, you’ll abandon whatever’s on the stove and let him please you.

☆ Sneaky arms are wrapping around your waist, rocking you back and forth to the beat of the music that plays lowly in the background.

☆ Matt’s lips find your neck, your head falling back onto his shoulder in pleasure.

☆ Before you know it, you’re bent over the kitchen counter and Matt’s balls deep in you. “Take it,” he grunts, his hands gripping your waist so tight there were sure to be bruises.

☆ The food on the stove burns and you end up ordering pizza.

☆ When the kids are old enough, you and Matt leave them at home alone while you run errands.

☆ Something as simple as a quick trip to the grocery store turns into heated, passionate car sex.

☆ The windows are foggy and the car rocks with each thrust, Matt’s arms wrapped tightly around your waist as you ride him in the front seat.

☆ “You’re so fucking sexy,” he grunts, falling more in love with you as you whimper out his name. It doesn’t take long for him to finish, a string of curse words falling from his lips.

☆ Most times you two just do it in the shower. It’s sweet and full of so much love.

☆ He’ll fuck you against the cold tile wall before scrubbing your back and washing your hair you.

☆ It’s the sweet moments like this that both of you cherish. “I love you so much,” he whispers, the warm water running down both your faces. “I love you too,” you reply with a smile, going in for a passionate kiss.

—

MASTERLIST

A/n: can I hear some commotion for dad Matt🎤

-L.A.M.B👼🏻💗

—

taglist: @nicksmainbitch @sturniololovers @mayhem-72 @worldlxvlys @gnxosblog @meg-sturniolo @creamoncreamoncream2 @mattnchrisworld @sanyi5 @lustfulslxt @whicked-hazlatwhore @tworosesblackthorn @mxqdii @fawned01 @junnniiieee07 @sturniolololover @missriddle03

note: if you want to be tagged in my fanfic related posts, you can access my TAGLIST and comment 💐

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salaciousdoll · 1 year

Text

· · The Rich Farmer's Daughter Turned Town's Slut · ·

From City Girl to Farmer’s daughter, oh how will you ever survive on the countryside? The answer is simple: fucking.

･˳ . ⋆ Reporting Live with Eren Yeager, Zeke Yeager, Yelena, Armin Arlert, Jean Kirtstein, Connie Springer, Oyankopon, Sasha Braus, Mikasa Ackerman,Annie Leonhart, Miche(Mike)Zacharias, Erwin Smith,Nile Dok, Historia Reiss, Ymir, Kenny Ackerman, Levi Ackerman, Porco Galliard, Reiner Braun, Hange Zoe, Pieck Finger, Eren Kruger, Keith Shadis, Theo Magath x chubby!Bimbo!Fem! reader ･˳ . ⋆

୨⍣୧ ⁺⁎˚ ⋆━━ Warnings : First part is in fic format, second part is in Drabble/headcannons format, Confident chubby girl, Smut, threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes, group sex, wlw, reader is bisexual, Sasha x Mikasa is shown a little bit( no I don’t ship, if you do this is the place for you), dildo usage( double ended dildos too), dacryphillia, heavy Bimbo activities implied here, very self indulgent but anyone can read, outfits are describe for a reason here( only because I like Bimbo farmers daughter aesthetic), chubby!reader, rich black farmers and daughter, dirty talk, cock warming on Erwin’s part, big exhibition here, Kenny is the bad guy who wants your father’s crops, could be considered dubcon on his part, reader is very dumb, fucked dumb too, implied protected/unprotected sex, this is fictional so none of that sick shit applies here but please do not go around doing this without protection( wrap up), reader is in her early 20s( 21-24), age gaps all throughout this story( some big, some not), dominant characters( Mikasa, Annie, Levi, Erwin, miche, Keith, Kruger, etc.), pet names ( bunny, sl*t, wh0re, pretty girl, town’s sl*t, princess, doll, doll face, butterfly, sweat pea, etc.) body fluids( squirting, cumming, spit swapping), bondage( handcuffs/ swimsuit used as handcuffs), use of strap on, oral receiving and giving, descriptions of body hair, pussy/dick visuals, tattooed eren!, reader could be implied to be a nympho here, degradtation/ praise, breeding kink, grisha lurking for him and Carla. Basically you fuck everyone damn!, have fun and if im missing something let me know.

୨⍣୧ ⁺⁎˚ ⋆━━ Word Count : 14.4k, longest fic I’ve ever written

18+, Minors do not interact

PSA from me : I wanted to write this to celebrate me hitting 4K followers, so I hope you all enjoy. Thank you all for 4K followers <333 And for the love of anything, please do not do none of this stuff with strangers like the reader did in this fic, if you happen to, wrap it up!!

Also credit to @bimbohub for the farmer’s daughter inspiration, so sorry I didn’t tag you when I publish it, mainly because I forgot but yes I want to thank you for making that fic and giving me inspiration for it<33

Jujutsu Kaisen Version Tokyo Revengers Version

You remember the time you first learned about your move to the town you wanted no relation to ever since your visit when you were 8 years old.

Summer days were upon you as you came home from a long year of college. You were only in college because your parents forced you to go, otherwise you would’ve just set up a camera in your room and gave older men shows in order to get money. Being in your early twenties is a curse because now you had to actually do adult things and adulting wasn’t for you at all.

In college, you didn’t understand anything about what you learned, especially with the business major you’re forced to take up. Bad on your parents part because you didn’t even know what a mortgage is and how it’s gonna benefit you. You didn’t know or care about things like that, but you passed— only because you convinced the nerdy boy next to you to give you the answers to every test you took and every project you needed to complete. The speeches you had to give in front of the class were all of his words and he stood there smiling because the pretty girl finally gave him the attention he wanted. And you did. You actually found him useful and pretty, he just needed to fix up his looks and that was the deal you proposed to him and he took it with no problem. You even added that he was gonna finally feel and taste how bubble gum tastes if you passed.

So now you were back home and staring up at your father and mother who had the biggest smiles on their face. The next words that fell out of their mouths after congratulating you for even finishing your second year of college were horrifying. “ We’re going down to Napeville, your grandfather has now retired his position as a farm owner and your father wanted to take control of it since he was trained his entire childhood.” Your mother finished her statement and your gum popped on your face as you stared at her with wide eyes.

You stare without blinking as your dad grabbed your suitcases on the side of you bringing them into the house, “ Why?! Can’t you just go down there on your own pops’, gramps only wanted you to go down there right?!…Wait are we moving down the-” your father came back out again to grab your bag you had in the trunk of your car— afterwards stopping in front of you when he retrieved the bag from the car. “ Yes, my little pumpkin, we’re moving down there. Aren’t you glad to go back there? I’ll even teach you all about farming if you want.”, Your father said as he smiled at you. You in fact did not want any of that shit. You only remembered the ugly house and barn your grandparents had you and your parents staying in. Being 8 years old, you remembered the faces of the people down there and let’s just say you aren’t gonna find love down there if they all looked and act the way they did when you were 8. Farming life was boring compared to what you were planning to do with your friends this summer. They were not gonna ruin this for you so you proposed a deal with them, hoping they’ll listen.

“ Hmm, what if I just go down there in the summer and come back up here to go back to school and you, my dear pops’ can buy me an apartment! The smartest idea I’ve ever came up with right?!!”, You say, with your arms wrapped around the neck of your dad hugging him from the side. Your mother wanted so badly to facepalm because that was a stupid idea, but she couldn’t say because you are her daughter and you are very sensitive.

Your father removed your arms off his neck and gave you his stern look, “ Enough, { reader}! You know better than to argue with us and besides you don’t even have a good paying job to afford an apartment months rent, especially for the apartment you are tryna’ get for yourself.” You pucker your lips out while huffing, “ Okay okay, I’ll get another one.” Your father shook his head and went inside the now almost empty house.

You stopped and looked around to see the way your house looked and gasped loudly as your parents continued what they are doing, “ Ma’, where’s our stuff, did you have an yard sale without me knowing, why didn’t you tell me because I wanted to keep that love seat we had and put it in my room.”

Your mother sighed loudly before turning to you, “ {reader}, honey, if we just said that we’re moving, what does that mean to you? What do most people do when they move?” She was already tired of packing up most of her and your equipment while you were off at college doing God knows what. You didn’t really check in with them like you used to do in your first year.

You almost narrowed your eyes at her, but decided not to do it since you didn’t feel like getting yelled at for looking at her like that. Answering whilst twirling the string of chewed up gum around your index finger, “ Um, we move. I don’t know ma’, it’s too much to think about really. Anyways, since I clearly have no choice but to obey you two, I’m gonna hang out with my friends for the last time.”

Your mother rolled her eyes as she put the tape on the last box you all had before you tidy up the move from this house to your farming house, “ be back before 12, you may be grown, but you’re still my child living under my rules.” You nodded your head and bit your tongue to stop you from saying something or rolling your eyes.

You were excited to see your bitches again but before you were off, you took out your phone and texted your friends that you wanted to roller skate like the old times. You put your phone away without their answers to your text and walked to where your mother just walked to, “ Ma’, which box are my baby pink and blue roller skates in? Need them for my girly time today.” Your mother walked to a box and kicked it towards you prior to walking off to finish what she was doing.

You opened the box, thanking the heavens that she didn’t box them up with that ugly tape. “ Aww I missed you babies so much, I bet you missed your mommy just as much.” Your father wanted to really question if you got this personality from your moms side of the family so he decided to say, “ She got that shit from your side not mine, baby.”

You paid no mind to what the two of them were whispering about as you grabbed your roller skates in your baby pink manicured hands. Hurrying out the house before you got called back in to pack up something they missed, you walked down your stairs to your car. You honestly should’ve taken the hint that you all were moving when you saw the moving truck on the side of your parents car in the garage way. You smiled as you walked to your baby pink and white G-Wagon, “ I’ll make my last night worth it for sure.” You talked to yourself a lot since you were an only child and found a friend in yourself before you found friends. You looked down at your outfit and smiled, your tits looked yummy and your thighs did too.

The memory was four weeks ago and you were now driving your car in silence while following your mom and dad leads to the Legendary farm house. You were leaving so much behind. Your bed, your friends, college associates, your favorite nerd, now who’s gonna help you pass your classes. You huffed to yourself, still following after your parents to the next town you were going to have to adjust to. You were going to miss the stores you got to shop at, the malls were your favorite and least favorite because it was a hit or miss with the brookefield mall. Being the size you were was not a guarantee that you were going to find something in the mall for you, so when you found that one store that sold cute clothes in your size, you had no choice but to max out with your pops’ black card. You were also glad for the mall and of course the internet because you got to shop for new clothes prior to coming to this small town.

You were going to miss the boys and girls in that city. You were gonna miss Hitch and Boris, your main two toys you like to play with. Both were hot and were everything you needed to get by. The city was full of whores and now you gotta move to the country where they are so holy and thou there. Ewww, you're gonna hate it there.

By the time you all arrived at the house you were blown out of your mind when you looked up at the farm house. It was incomparable to the farmhouse you knew from your childhood. This town was so different from how it used to be, it used to be quiet and old looking now it looks a little loud and modern, you were so stuck because you thought of the farmhouse that looked like a cottage house with a big barn behind it like it used to look, now it looks too luxurious— to your liking. The house had big glass windows with a black wooden roof and a big riva double eyebrow 4-lite steel Iron, glass door to greet you. Honestly, the gate when you first entered gave it away that this was going to be different, but you didn’t even think about it because you’re too busy listening to your favorite playlist right now in the act of sucking on your blue cotton candy sucker.

The gate was long and you bet it was even longer than you actually think, your grandpa was full of surprises. The ride to the house was even longer. Nothing but acres of grass mountains and grasslands plus a few animals standing there greeted you as you drove to the house. You were so glad because your hands hurt from driving all night and the sight of sheep somehow made you brighter than before. Once you parked the car on the pavement of the garage behins the moving truck, you got out and looked at it stomping your red and white gingham platform heels on the ground at the sandy dirt on your tires, “ fucking dirt roads, hate them so much.” Your parents were already hugging your cousin while you were grumbling about your tire and car having dirt on it. You decided to wear red and white today to match the cherry red nails with cherry charms on them. You also wanted to try to fit into the countryside by wearing this, after all, you were now a farmer’s daughter.

Your cousin's smile brightens once she sees you come to her with your arms out, “ Bubbles!” You screamed out as you hugged her and she screamed your nickname right after, and the country accent was heard loud and clear. You figured that she must’ve been lonely as hell here because this place was huge and it looks like she’s the only one here.

“ If you’re looking for grandpa, he’s at his house around the corner from here.”, Your cousin said as she brought you inside the house. It was so neutral and blended inside compared to the outside. You almost wanted to puke from the smell of discoloration this house reeks of. So plain and boring.

“ pops’, are we going to go see him later or something?”, you yelled throughout the house since you were walking up the stairs. You heard an answer but didn’t bother to actually listen because your cousin was pulling you to your room she set for you. It was a room you never would have even step foot into a few weeks ago but now you had no choice, at least the bed was big just like your bed at home. Home. You missed it already.

Your cousin then gave you a cola she got out of the little fridge you guessed she stocked in your room, “ How thoughtful of you, { cousin’s name}. Seems like you didn’t change at all.” Your cousin smiled at your comment before taking your hand to go back down stairs to the movie truck, “ And you did. Not in a bad way, sugs. Just didn’t expect you to be like dis’ gotta say you look so gorgeous with that outfit and hairstyle but that’s not what we wear out chea’. Anyways I’ve called my friends and the people your father and I know over here before y’all arrived. You’re gonna love them. They all offered to help with these heavy ol’ boxes here.”

You furrowed your eyes because exactly how many of them are going to come. You start guessing in your head and thought your brain felt like it was combusting. Too much thinking again, so you just smiled. You started to stare off into space until your cousin snapped her fingers in front of your face, “ Hey hey, we gotta get some of these boxes out of chea’, we’re having tons of fun later, silly so let’s get this started now. It’s about 11 am right now, we all should be able to finish by 9, perfect time too.”

You stared at her like she was the sheep in the backyard before grabbing the lightest box, carrying it to the entrance while she carried two boxes, “ What’s happening at 9?”

Your cousin was about to say something when a group of men and women were walking towards you all. You were so confused on who they were because your family skin didn’t look like any of them, yet they’re here smiling at your cousin like they’re family. As you were standing there in a daze— occasionally sucking on your cherry sucker with glossy strawberry lip gloss wrapped around the sucker and the half of the stick.

You didn’t even notice that they got closer and were all standing before you staring at you in awe while you looked up at the sky, stuck like a robot. You blinked when you heard the whispers and gasp with a puzzled look on your face, “ Oh oh, hi hi, I spaced out and wasn’t paying attention to you all. My name is { your name}, nice to meet you all.” You flashed a smile and Armin almost fell for you right there. They all could tell you were a city girl and the accent proved it. They would also know because they’re all from the city too, not yours though.

Eren eyed you up and down with a toothpick hanging out his mouth. He had to get you under him because there was no way you were taking by the way you were dressing. You had on a red and white gingham top that tied in the front pushing up your boobs even more with your pudgy stomach showing— slightly protruding over your v waist, blue Jean short shorts that almost showed your ass if you bent down. Your face was so gorgeous, chubby cheeks when you smile and pretty lips to top it off, he couldn’t wait to know more about you. You were the perfect girl they all were looking for, the excitement and for some, the rush— just wait until the older men and women of the group caught sight of you. Right now it was just him, Armin, Jean, Reiner, Mikasa, Annie, Floch, Pieck, Colt , Connie, Sasha, Porco, Historia, and Ymir .

They all introduced themselves to you and your legs were almost shaking from their voices, especially the women. Eyeing each of them as they were now headed to the truck. You saw things you liked about them, for now. Eren has arm tattoos that made him even more attractive and long hair that you wanted to run your fingers through, Armin looks like the nerd you had back home just more handsome with his lil cowboy boots on, Mikasa had a red scarf wrapped around her neck with overalls on. She looked so cute. Annie had on pants that showed off her thighs really well and eyes that sealed you in, Sasha was obviously a foodie because she’s been smacking on another bag of fruit snacks since they’ve walked up. She was a beauty. A real one.

Ymir and Historia were attached each other with matching colors on, which made them look adorable. One had on jeans and a shirt with combat boots while the other one had her hair down in a middle part with a cute overall dress and tank top under it. Their boots even matched. Yeah they were indeed a couple, but you still had thoughts.

Flock’s hair was a little disturbing but his eyes were beautiful; he has potential. Now Reiner was big and beefy with a cowboy hat planted on top of his head and you were getting more attracted to him when he turned around to go inside the house— his chest was the first thing you saw. May those two buttons never come back together with their little holes because whew does he look so good! Jean was someone you never thought you would keep your eyes on consistently. You liked that he was taller than everyone here and he carried himself like he’s a leader, you love a man who owns the power of authority. You don’t know why, you just do.

Porco was good looking as well and you could tell he was hard to everyone else but gentle to people he liked. A beautiful boy indeed. Colt was shy but talkative to his peers he’s been around, he was a cutie. Now pieck was someone you wanted first, she’s so pretty and mesmerizing. So beautiful that you didn’t even realize that she was in front of you bending down to pick up the box you set down in front of you. You watched her get up and throw a little smile your way, “ You can’t be spacing out like this a lot, pretty girl. Don’t want you to get hurt in the future. So, can you help me carry this last box inside, it’s in the truck.” You laughed before walking ahead of her to the truck whilst she watched your ass jiggle as you walked in front of her. You were definitely gonna be the new talk around town now.

Indeed you were by 9 pm, you were done with everything— unpacking, showing you around your new home led by your cousin as the rest stayed just to talk more with you. Afterwards , they all asked to hang out with you at the bar a few minutes away from where you stay and so you did go. Greatest mistake on your part because from there on out, you were the talk of the town.

✧˖° Eren Yeager + Zeke Yeager, Yelena with grisha lurking + in Eren’s living room

The first time you met Zeke and Yelena was at Pipsy’s Bar— the one you went to when you first moved here. You didn’t really talk with either of them because you stayed close to your cousin and Eren’s crew. However, just because you didn’t talk with them doesn’t mean you weren’t the topic of the conversation they had at their own table.

Just as Zeke asked Yelena to look into who you were, his widened at you getting body shots on the pool table by his little brother. The way your body shook underneath Eren’s as he licked down your boobs to your stomach made his dick hard and yelena wet. They both wanted you and had to get a chance to talk to you one way or another

Today was their lucky day, especially Yelena’s because she was supposed to be somewhere else today, but Zeke asked to hang out at his house. They were on the couch and their hormones heightened as you walked through the door of their farmhouse with your baby-pink polka dot strapless tube top with a white shirt skirt on. Your heels compliment your outfit and legs so well. Yeah, today was gonna be a good day today

Friday afternoon was something you wanted for a long time. Your mini skirt was bunched up your stomach, panties long gone. With the twist of your dark nipples in between Eren’s fingers, he moved inside of your pussy with desperation of your hot and slippery pussy. He was so breathy underneath you. His chest glistened as he pant out your name in a hush tone . You on the other hand was too busy trying to please Zeke with your mouth around his coke can thick tip. Zeke groaned when you locked your jaw around his pink tip, “ Stop - uh- stop fucking looking at me with those doll like eyes, Angel. Makes me wanna’ take you away from everyone and grow my own farm filled with as many animals as you want and during that time our babies will walk around with their shoes off exploring our farm.”

Eren grunted out as you clenched around his heavy cock, “ Fuck no! She’s mine, Zeke. Get your own slut. Yelena’s, umph shit! She’s right there.” Eren leaned forward to take your nipples into his mouth, needing to shut his own ass up before he ruined this moment by arguing with his pinhead ass brother. Yelena was too busy fingering herself to her tongue exploring your ass cheeks— all the way down to your convulsing asshole. It looked proper and good to not put her tongue inside. In the process of eating your ass, her large hands were spreading you open, so Eren’s big balls and her tongue can now move freely.

Zeke put his hands on your chubby cheek with a low smirk on his face, his glasses long gone off his face letting you see what exactly his eyes are saying when they look at you. Your mouth was getting tired of hollowing around Zeke’s tip and at the same time your body shook against Eren’s body and Yelena’s mouth. You were about to lift your mouth off of the older brother’s cock to moan, but your moans were soon dancing along Zeke’s thick dick. His tip hit the back of your throat, making diamond tears fill up your eyes, they eventually traveled down your eyes causing your mascara to drip down your face. Zeke cooed at you with a little grunt and hum— moving inside of you with a sharp snap of his hips, “ Ah Yes, the face of a whore. The face I love seeing on many. Ughh! So fucking pretty taking all three of us at the same time.”

Eren hissed when you squeezed around his dick causing him to almost knock his knees together out of pleasure. He reached to grab your plushy love handles, holding them in his rough hand, “ Fuck, baby! Fuck me back like you’re doing.” And then he massages your love handles in between his long fingers that had cold rings on them. “ Thought I didn’t feel the little roll of your hips and thick thighs clamping around my hips. Think again. Now give me this pussy I’ve longed for. Fuck~”, Eren said as his rings cooled down your sweaty and hot love handles.

Their dirty talking was getting to you so bad. Yelena was now standing up after detaching her lips from your puckering hole with just a long string of saliva— she was behind you with a finger probing your ass and sloppy kisses on your back, “ Gonna’ let me use this ass of your sweetheart… nah, I think I might just open you up for the others, my debt to them.” You couldn’t even focus on her sultry voice uttering those foreshadow ass words because your orgasm hit you like a tidal wave, ears popping and body shaking from their overstimulation on all three of your holes. Zeke groaned and came into your mouth at the same time as Eren cumming inside the condom— breaking it in the process. Some of his cum leaked into your pussy and you couldn’t do anything but squirm on him and Grind on Yelena’s finger. You swallowed Zeke’s nut with a few coughs prior to wiping off your mouth and chin.

Eren was still snapping his hips into you slowly just when his pretty emerald, green eyes fell upon you— he was truly enticed by you. Meanwhile, your head was thrown back on Yelena’s chest allowing you to moan out loud— nothing but pleasure coming out your mouth. “ Ahhh~ please, please. It feels so good, rennie, Zekey, lena’. Feels s’good. Mmm .” Your voice was so loud after popping Zeke’s semi-limp dick out of your mouth that Grisha, who stood on the second floor banister staring intensely at the three of you with lust filled eyes, heard everything from the fucking start. He wanted you, now. You were exquisite in his eyes, far too exquisite to make him of all people interested, dangerous even. He so wanted to jerk off, but he’ll just replay the ring camera set up in his living room over, maybe he and Carla could have alone time with you, she’s been asking for a threesome for a while. His sons were so dumb to not even know he was home or maybe they didn’t care. Grisha walked off humming to himself, he’ll let his fellow friends and wife know about you.

✧˖° Armin, Jean, and Connie + back of Jean’s pickup truck

Word got around the small town faster than the plague. Whispers were heard here and there and you had no clue it was all about sweet little you. You were too busy sucking on the pink lollipop that was in your mouth while watching the sheep’s make noise and walk around your big spacious backyard, the only thing that’s separating you from them is the wooden field gate. You took in the fresh air while smiling to yourself. This was your ‘you’ time. Nothing could interrupt this.

Except for a laugh Connie bucked out— walking into the backyard as your parents were yelling out that they’re leaving to visit your grandpa, whom you visited last week with sore legs, thanks to those three. How humiliating they left you. Your view of the green grassland was invaded by Jean Kirtstein with his hands on his hips.

Armin walked to your little lake in the yard petting and talking to the animals having their daily snack on the grass. As for Connie he was too busy admiring your look, your fashion sense screamed Bimbo and he adored it. He always snuck glances at you whenever you weren’t looking or he was goofing off with his friends. He was interested in you, that’s why he wanted to come but Jean and Armin decide to come as well fucking up his plan.

He was admiring your pink Diesel T- Angie shirt that showed off the print of your boobs perfectly to the tight jeans you wore and down to your pink cowgirl boots. Up until Jean grabbed your hand and led you to his big pickup truck, driving off with Connie and Connie on the side of you. They wanted to take you on the ride, away from your house to have their alone time with you.

Indeed they’re plan was a success because now you were in the back of Jean’s pick up truck getting plowed into from the behind by Connie’s cock— around 7.5 inches and thick. Jean took your mouth as he laid down in front of you whilst Armin took pictures of this interaction with your used sucker in his mouth. He was glad that he came with them after being on his farm catering to his father’s chicken coup. He needed a break and you were the perfect person to help him relax. He recorded the way your lips sucked in Jean’s lengthy cock in your mouth with a shuddered breath as he watched. You were fucking Insatiable, almost everyone in the small town thought so.

“ Fucking hell, She’s sucking me like it’s her last taste of ramen noddles, shit~.”, Jean rasped out as he moved your hair out of his vision from seeing you. Connie has your pink heart-shaped Moschino glasses on his eyes as he grabs your ass cheeks in his hands as he hits you from the back. Connie reached to Armin handing him your shoes that was on its way coming off from getting fuck on the truck’s tailgate, “ Here, seems like the slut of the hour just can’t keep up with us after all.”, He snickered before slapping your ass, “ her shoe came off. Now watch and see how she reacts when I do this. Jean keep fucking her face like that, sounds so slutty. Make sure she can’t breathe.”

Your cunt squeezed around Connie— a reaction to his dirty words. You popped Jean’s dick out your wet mouth and looked back at Connie with low fucked-out eyes, “ Please, mmph, keep fucking me like this, I want Armin too. Please Armin, wanna see your cock, wan’ it in my ass because of how pretty it is.” Connie folded right then and there. Yeah he was gonna get you to breed you for that shit. Armin sucked in a breath as he set his phone up on the inside of the truck before looking out to the opening of the dirt road both ways.

And so they did what you asked with a few taunts from Connie and persuasion from Jean for Armin to join without looking out for anybody— I mean after all this is a dead end. You were now all fully on the truck fucking like rabid bunnies. Armin whimpers we’re so pretty, you were kinda glad that Jean is fucking your mouth without any room left to breathe because you were going to cum to the sight of Connie’s pretty red face below you. You felt so full and they felt so good.

Jean yanked your hair to his dick holding you there with a loud moan erupting from his throat, “ My sweet sweet girl, fu-uhhh~” you tried to push your head off his dick, but he patted your head and whispered, “ a little bit longer bunny.” Jean’s cum leaked out of your mouth and mixed with your spit that was lathering his dick caused Armin to snap. Armin came inside of your ass with a loud cry, “ So perfect for me, Honey. So damn perfect.” At the moment of clenching around his cock with your tight hole. Anal was not easy but Armin made it easy for you by prepping you with his spit, lube out of Jean’s truck, and his fingers. He was the perfect person to break your anal virginity.

Connie came into his condom with a loud groan and chants of your name. Armin laughed at the shakes and final thrusts he did, “ Looks like you couldn’t handle her, Connie.” Connie rolled his eyes with a hard lip bite in the process of both of them starting to fuck slowly into you again to let you catch your second orgasm, you didn’t even know you had the first one. Jean pulled out your mouth leaning to hold your cheeks squeezing them together to make more mess of your big cheeks squeezed— covered with spit, cum, and sweat, “ You’ve done so well, my pretty, chubby bunny. Cum for daddy, bunny. Cum for all of us.” You snapped when he mentioned the one word that always got you off.

Your eyes couldn’t see that it was dark outside because your vision was white as you came in Connie’s dick causing him to jump and whine from the tightening around his cock, “ Fucking vixen you are.” They all laughed while you came back to reality, now seeing that it’s dark as hell outside and the only source of light was the flashlight Connie reached to turn on during the time he was digging inside of you. This was the best decision you parents could’ve made because since that move you’ve been getting pleasure. You may not even go back to the city college and just find one down here, who knows.

✧˖° Onyankopon + your kitchen

Onyankopon caught your eyes as soon as he stepped into your pupil's sight. He was so fine and you craved him. Reminds you of your ex from the way he smiled at you. He was a horse trainer and you were gonna get him to train you to ride horses. You don’t even necessarily want to learn, you just want him to speak a lot because his voice was so deep and sexy. And so you asked your dad can you ask him to train you as he was pulling the crops with his ugly yellow gloves.

You already knew the answer because you always got what you wanted from him and your mother. So, you decided to pick out an outfit and do your hair. The outfit was a off shoulder shirt with pink ribbons on the arms and top of it with pink shorts and black and pink cowgirl boots. Your hair was in your hairstyle but in a ponytail with a big pink ribbon to hold it together.

And so onyankopon taught you about how to be calm around horses to not piss them off. Oysnkopon was trying so hard not to look at your ass and body jiggle as you rode the horse listening to every word he says while making purposeful mistakes.

Afterwards you asked the famous question, “ Why are you called a cowboy then, if you ride horses, shouldn’t you be called a horse boy or something? I’m confused”. Onyankopon stood there contemplating on how he should answer this because it was a good and stupid question.

He never answered your stupid question, just showed you why you can only call him an horse boy as he now had your baby pink and yellow panties pushed to the side whilst fucking you into your kitchen island. His long, thick fingers pressed into your big thighs; holding them up and apart, “ Such a pretty pussy you got, such a shame you kept this to yourself all the times I came to this house since y’all - augh!- moved in.” You were a whimpering mess because of how big and deep— kissing your cervix a few times causing you to wince in pain and pleasure. He had you speechless and you hated it because you were always ready to reply to anyone if your mouth wasn’t occupied.

You and onyankopon watched out for your dad, who was far away from your house— at the garden your grandfather started. Your mom was at her new job she got, so it was just you in the house. Onyankopon yanked your ponytail back as he paused his movements, “ Don’t space out on me, now. Can’t and won’t have that. Need all ya’ attention, baby doll. Look me in the eyes as I take this fat pussy of yours, ya hear me?” You nodded, feeling your ponytail loosen from his grip. You wanted to throw your head back, but he told you to keep your eyes on his, even through your blurry vision. “ Please—” you choked out due to the increase of his pace as he looked down at your greedy kissy taking in his cock like it was eating his cock up.

His deep voice grunted in echo all over the kitchen, “ Please what? Baby doll. Gotta say it, not gonna understand you if you aren’t speaking right.” Onyankopon slowly dragged his dick in and out of your pussy— you felt like you were gonna break into sobs. “Full. Sentences. Ahhh shit! Pretty girl” he snapped his hips into yours punctuating every word he said— you never got dick with this much teasing.

You looked down to follow the movements of his cock moving in and out of your tight gummy walls with a vicious lip bite, whimpers following. You reached down to play with your clit in clockwise format, lifting your head to make eye contact with him, “ Please fuck me hard, Daddy. Fuck me like I’m yours. I can’t— please~” onyankopon smiled as he lifted his cowboy hat off the counter placing it on your head, “ As you wish, doll.” Oyankopon fucked you as he pressed his body against yours feeling the warmth of your body against his, your skin was so soft against his but your nails against his naked back was so harsh but felt good, somehow.

You were sure that one of your press-on nails popped off from how hard you were gripping onto his back as he quickened his pace. “ Fuck I know you feel me right ere’, right here. Your cute lil tummy is so damn cute just like your fucking cheeks, wanna’ bite em’.” He touched your stomach and kissed you in your mouth— swapping spit and flipping each other's tongues as he held your body against his. He trailed his kisses all over your face as he fucked into your sweet little pussy.

“ Ahh, Ony, I think m’ cummin’ mmm cummin’.” You kept saying his name in whimpers and that drove him to fuck you even hard. He didn’t stop even if you came around his dick creating a white ring around his dick. “ Oh God.”, you yelled as you climaxed against him and he came inside of you. He bit your cheek with a deep and long groan when he came into your warm pussy making her even more warm with his hot cum flowing inside. Fuck, he didn’t wear a condom! He didn’t care but you did. Onyankopon chuckled to himself inside his head because he was the first person who got to cum inside of you. Instead of his neighbors, it was him. He feels honored.

✧˖° Mikasa, Annie, Sasha, Ymir, and Historia + your room

Your dad wanted to introduce you to picking strawberries and washing them off from the expanding strawberry field behind your house next to the garden. He just didn’t have time to teach you because teaching you means that he’ll have to take all day teaching you how to even clean off strawberries, plus he knew you hated getting dirt or anything underneath your nails. So when Erwin Smith, the man he always spoke with before he even moved here, suggested the girls teach you all about strawberries since it’s three of their jobs to do on his farm.

When they did teach you, Ymir wasn’t letting up on commenting how stupid you are when you asked if we’re going to eat them off the plants or give them to the animals, historia told her to back off you and giggled when your confused pout displayed on your face. Mikasa’s was closed off but very fond of how you looked in that short little skirt you wore. She thought you knew what you were doing wearing something like this to pick dirty strawberries off the plant stems.

Sasha was the fun one and the most welcoming to you teaching you after Historia because this was her job, she even encouraged you to take a bite out of a dirty strawberry as a joke and you were happily about to do so because you always ate the strawberries in the container, only cleaning it off with water. That’s until Annie grabbed your wrist. Now, Annie was a scary one, but you knew underneath that scary aura she possessed— was a woman who needed comfort. And you were happy to give it to her, a sleepover is the best comfort for any girl.

You never experienced a sleepover like the one you were indulging in right now, maybe with Hitch but that was planned. Getting mocked while your ass collides with Historia’s small heart-shaped ass on the 10 inch long double sided tan dildo Ymir brought in her night bag was something that was not planned. You wondered how she even got her hands on this. “ oh, look at the fucking size difference, my my my you two are the most perfect sluts to try this thing on.” Ymir stood in front of a panting, red faced Historia as she taunted her with a small smirk on her face. Annie stood in front of you with sharp blue eyes looking down at your pretty face, “ You look so pretty like this, it’s unbelievable how fast you succumb to the few words that one over there and I.” She pointed at Mikasa, who was rubbing her clit with her pretty fingers. “ Annie continued, “Such a shameful slut letting us talk you into this just by pointing out how your fat pussy showed through them lace Polka dot panties of yours.”

Annie ended her statement by holding the now ripped panties in her hands, twirling them prior to bending down and engulfing your shivering lips onto her mouth. The kiss was so tasty and sloppy, fuck, you wanted more. Why didn’t she give you more? You stopped moving to deepen the kiss between you and Annie just for Historia to bounce herself against you— your moans falling perfectly into Annie’s mouth as you swapped tongues. You heard little squeals from beside you and behind you. Afterwards you felt a body slide under you and Historia— breaking the kiss to stare down at who’s underneath you, you instantly smiled because Ymir’s cunt was on full display for you as she flicked her tongue on Historia’s count with no mercy.

Moaning at the feeling of a finger entering inside you soon matching pace with the dildo moving back and forth into you and Historia. Sasha giggled in your ear as her white bra appeared on the side of you, “ So wet, can’t wait to taste you on my lips when you sit that pretty ass on my face, I’m craving something to drink right now… something sweet like juice and candy mixed together. You’re the right person for that right, { reader}?” You couldn’t focus because of the overstimulation of your pussy and the stares you got from Annie and Mikasa, who now stands in front of you beside Annie. They watched your eyes peer up at them before Mikasa landed a perfect slap on your face at the same time as Annie landing two in both of your hanging tits.

Mikasa grabbed your jaw and bent down to hold eye contact with you, “ Answer her! Don’t leave any of us waiting for an answer again.” Her voice was so smooth and made your entire body shake or was it the fluffy carpet you all were standing or kneeling on, “ Yesss— yes please taste me after this. I need all of you, Ohh~” your wetness was colliding with Historia’s and she couldn’t take it. Her moans were so pretty to everyone but yours was sexy.

Annie slipped on one of your 8 inch strap-on’s, rubbing it on your mouth, “ Open up for me. Want to see how much of me you could take. Wan’ stuff you full of my cock. Naughtily sluts like you deserve this face fuck I’m going to give you.” Mikasa let out a little chuckle at her words before grabbing Sasha’s hand to lay with her on your bed. You heard the sound of two people aggressively kissing and stared at the two of them making out: Mikasa with Sasha between her legs. Not long after, Mikasa trailed kisses down Sasha’s jawline as she locked eyes with you, “ Fuck her good, Annie or I’ll do it myself. Don’t let her waste a drop of spit or gag, she’s taken bigger cocks than that, so she should know how to do it. I’m sure of it.”

Historia moaned out yours and Ymir’s name, luckily Ymir covered her mouth, “ Ahh, m’cummin’— cummin’ so my-Ahh.” Her moans were muffled by her hand and that made you want to bounce your ass faster to overstimulate her. You wanted to chase you own orgasm and Annie saw that, so she grabbed your head and fucked into it like it was a pocket pussy men use. The electricity she felt from getting head from you in your didldo was on another level. “ Don’t talk to me like I don’t know what I’m doing Mikasa.” She stared Mikasa down in advance to peering down at you, taking all of her cock between your glossy two-tone lips. “Holy fuck, she sounds so fucking pretty, taking this cock like the whore she is. Such a shame, you’re a whore for everyone who shows little interest in you, how pitiful.” Her words had some truth to it, therefore you wanted to shut her up by reaching past the straps of the strap-on to her pussy— sticking two fingers inside of her making her let out a shuddering moan.

You were all feeling pleasure because you didn’t even notice that Ymir had a thick pink string from an egg vibrator hanging out her pussy but the others did. Every last one of you were on cloud nine, especially Sasha and Mikasa now scissoring on your bed as you played with Annie pussy. Her face fucking was harsh but it made you squirt against Ymir’s stomach that spurred Ymir to cum from the pressure of water on her lower belly. Nothing but sultry and slutty moans were heard in your room. You were surprised that your parents didn’t come knocking from the little squeals and screams you all produced.

✧˖° Erwin Smith, Nile Dok, and Mike( Miche) Zacharias + Miche’s bar

After a week from the previous sexual encounters, you decided to take a ride to the famous bar that was about 20 minutes away from here. You needed to feel the wind blowing in between your boobs and upon your legs. Feel the wind on your face as you chew on 3 pieces of bubblegum. It was almost getting dark when you arrived at the bar, you thought it would've been packed with people.

Only three men were in there and you were about to walk back out when Miche grabbed your hand, stopping you from going. His voice did wonders to your pussy. Being a fucking nympho is a fucking curse because you folded as soon as you heard his deep voice. He smirked at you as he breathed in deeply, nodding his head like it was a signal to the other two older men sitting down.

Once he got you to sit down and have a drink with them. They’ll introduce themselves as the leaders of the town, you honestly didn’t care for what they had to say after that because the word authority and older was dancing inside of your head as you stared at them with big pretty eyes circling in on each one of them. You were sizing them up. Sizing them up to fuck them.

Afterwards, Erwin would probably be the one who trailed you home to make sure you got home, explaining how he was just “ looking out for a civilian and his fellow friend daughter”

You are so glad you decided to stay and size them up because you were bouncing on Miche’s big dick in the booth next to the dirty window. When you first saw his dick, you gasped as you stared at it. It was so pretty, curved to the right with two thick veins running down his cock and a pink, thick tip. He also had a cigarette and cologne musk to him, your favorite on old men like him. Your arms hugged his back as he lifted you up and down his dick using his big hands whilst talking with Erwin and Nile. He multitasked and he was great at it because he still hit the right places deep inside of your wet, starving pussy, “ So this is the girl, everyone’s been speaking about? Gotta say she’s exactly my, Mmgh!, type.” They were speaking about you like you weren’t even there getting your pussy destroyed by Miche and that turned you on even more.

Erwin chuckled as he dabbed his cigarette on the ashtray just to bring it to his dried glossy lips, inhaling and exhaling it, “ ‘Isn’t she just so pretty?’ That was Armin’s words as he showed the video of a girl sucking Jean’s cock to me when I asked what they all were discussing. Who would’ve known that she would be the same girl in the video. Luck is on our side Mike and Nile because she is indeed a beauty.” The reason he had dried up lip gloss on his lips was because of your ‘Cherry Bomb’ lip gloss you wore when you made out with him and his friends moments before Miche placed you into his lap to fuck you.

Your moans and screams were muffled into Miche’s neck due to the increased movements of his hips snapping up as his nails broke more of the ass part on your white bow stockings, ultimately revealing your pretty panties that had a small bow on the bak. Your panties were pulled to the side as his cock thrust into you. Nile tried so desperately not to look since his wife was back home with his kids. His wife cheated on him yet he still stayed. Yeah that wife. He had to stay loyal but he couldn’t when your big ass recoiled when miche hit deep inside of you. “ Fuck, she’s something, alright.” Nile didn’t wanna admit it, but he wanted to watch you break underneath him.

And he did when he fucked you agaisnt the table in front of them. His dick was a monster right next to Miche’s— tan with a dark pink tip, hairy because you could feel some of the hairs against your ass as he pushed into your pussy, and long with a little girth to him. You couldn’t take him after getting your pussy beat by Miche. Now, your neck was held in his strong hands while he pushed into your soaking pussy. Your nails gripping the table in front of you, “ Kahhh, I can’t.. I can’t take it, please slow down.” You didn’t want him to slow down at all because this was the third best fuck you’ve had. Nile let out a deep, long groan, fucking you even faster, “ Look at her tremble under me, Erwin. Can you say she’ll do the same for you? I don’t thin— fuck!~ stop squeezing me so damn hard, baby girl.”

Erwin lifted the corner of his lips as he watched your tits flop inside your bra, he couldn’t wait to have you, “ Don’t speak too soon, Nile. Marie was trembling underneath m-” his tone was doing something to your soul and you were about to collapse under Nile’s right arm that was around your tummy. Nile didn’t like what he said and took it out on your poor bruised pussy and you loved it especially when your head was pinned onto the table and Erwin was in your line of sight— brushing the sweat off your forehead with a napkin. Nile snarled as he spoke to Erwin, “ Fuck you, Erwin. Fuck, she’s gonna make me, uhhhh~.” He was so vocal as he came inside of you, his cum mixing with Miche’s cum. Miche was so tired that he didn’t even bother to focus on their bickering moment, his eyes were glued to your body. He was fascinated by you. Everyone was. The moment you stepped inside his bar was the moment he knew you were gonna be screaming and cumming on his cock after the little talk you had.

When it was Erwin’s turn in between your legs, he fucked you with your face turned to Miche and Nile who was now panting like a dog outside without any water on a hot summer day. You were cockwarming him and spilling your cum and the other two men cum all over his cock, “ Don’t move now, Darling. Older men are talking, down here we show respect to our elders.” His eyes were on yours as he held two fingers under your chin tilting it up for you to hold eye contact with him, he soon took his focus off you to return it to the men across and on the side of you. You felt humiliation all over and that only turned you on even more, especially when he took a sip of his drink with a cooling “ aah” following, “ They taught that to us in the city, so why wouldn’t they teach that to her generation?”

They answered him and participated in your degradation and when you would try to say something or move, Erwin would perform powerful thrusts, immediately you’ll moan or cry out of pain and pleasure because after all he was the biggest one out of all of them— he was uncut with a wide girth to his already long dick, his smell was alluring to you because he smelled so natural with a twinge of Booze and cigarettes. You heard two names before your orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks, yet you couldn’t make out the names clearly. It’s not like you know them or will be able to meet them. Right?

✧˖° Levi Ackerman and Hange Zoe + barn house

The moment you met Hange was when she was milking the cows for your dad as a deal with your mom. You didn’t know how they met, but you would assume your mom and dad knew every last person here because they were already planning to move down here before they told you, which upset you to the max. Truth be told, you should’ve figured it out earlier but your mind was filled with sex, fun, and zero responsibilities.

So when you finally decide to go out three days later after your father fussed at you for being out so late, you went to your father’s barn yard that sat on the side of a little river with different fishes inside them. You sat on the hay petting the baby goat in your arms. Hange came in with a bucket of milk, stopping when they saw you with your cute baby yellow and pink dress on, they raised their eyebrow at your yellow bunny ears displayed on your head. They never saw anyone dress or look around like you, not too many chubby people that can dress in this town. Theyinstantly got excited, practically running over there to greet you.

They asked you questions about your choice of style in a town like this and while you answered they couldn’t help but to pay attention to the way your hello kitty necklace and star shaped diamond necklace fell between your high sat boobs. Levi noticed who you were right when he entered the barn disturbing your one sided conversation with the person named Hange. His voice was rough and he was straight forward especially when he asked “ Why dress like a common whore in a barn? Who allowed this?” You didn’t and couldn’t take offense because he was so close to you and eye level to your boobs. You found that funny but wouldn’t say.

Levi was not supposed to have this much interest in you but he did, specifically when he asked a question about why there was a pink bow on top of the alpaca’s ears and insulted you after when you said it looked “cutesy”. He wanted to pluck his ear off from how excited and stupid you sound and looked, but he didn’t. It’s clear you just did what you wanted. So, He decided that you’ll be “fixed” with a good lesson. He couldn’t care less if Hange decides to sit through this lesson. You need discipline and he was the right person to do it.

Your moans were muffled by Hange’s pussy covering your mouth as they sat on your face. Your moans from Levi rubbing his fat tip up and down the opening of your hungry, fat pussy, “ That’s right, shut her mouth all the way up, got tired of hearing her talk about a bunch of nonsense.” He purposely bumped his tip into your clit trying hard not to moan at the feeling of your wetness on his dick. Hange looked back with a laugh as they saw Levi bit his lip as he slid inside of your pussy, “ Looks like you’re enjoying yourself, Levi. Maybe you liked hearing her voice more than you thought you did, huh? Levi?”

Levi was about to say a smart remark when you suddenly latched onto his dick with a vicious grip causing him to let out a low whimper, red sprouted onto his face in shame and embarrassment. Luckily, Hange was too busy enjoying herself with your tongue inside of her, “ Ahh, yes { reader}! You’re doing so good for mommy.” Levi cursed at how tight you clamped on him from her little nickname— slapping your clit as a response, “ Your pussy feels so good, so don’t ruin the moment by breaking my dick with all that useless clenching.” Truth: Levi actually loved the way your pussy took him in. The grip was insane to him since he knew you took Erwin, Miche, and Nile before. They were bigger than him in length, not girth though. He only knows because of the orgies they hosted. They never fucked without condoms so why were you special? Hmm.

Levi bent down to bite your nipple as Hange gripped your coils rocking back and forth with a loud moan. They were both enjoying you and you were enjoying yourself a little too much. Almost breaking at how deep he was fucking you. Hange yanked your head back— your face was in their line of sight and you looked so pretty with their juices covering your cheeks and mouth. They let out a happy laugh, “ Levi you should see how slutty her face looks right now.” They paused and hovered over your chest a bit to let you breathe. “ Don’t need to see that when I have the prettiest thing on her body in front of me, her pussy is swallowing me up Hange so don’t talk because you’re gonna ruin my hard on.”

Hange gasped and was about to reply back to him with a sarcastic remark, stopping when they heard a loud moan and slaps increasing rapidly. “ Ha-Ann~, please keep fucking me like this mister Levi, make me yours. Ouhhh.” Levi let a small smirk display in his red and sweat drenched face in victory, “ Got you right where I want now, pretty girl…” he gripped your stretch mark stomach underneath his little, thick fingers, “ Now in order to keep hitting that spot you want, you have to vow you’re gonna be a good girl after this and stop decorating your father’s barn and barn animals with that pink girly shit.”

Your body was shaking and your words were slipping out of your mouth in stutters when you tried to respond, but his long strokes inside of your velvet walls was enough to make you lose basis of the statement he just said to you. Hange tapped your face with three taps, “ Hey, Hey, my little butterfly, don’t tap out now, are you gonna obey what Levi said.” The table bench underneath you all felt like it was about to collapse from the shaking you and Levi were creating, so you quickly answered levi in a loud, “ Yes, just— ahhnn fuck me harder, please sir.. pl-pleasee mommy!!” Levi threw his head back to get his hair out of eyes and locked eyes with Hange, whose neck was turned to him, nodding his head. I’m his mind, he wondered when Furlan and Isabel is coming to town because he knew they would fuck and love on you just as much as he and Hange are doing.

Once Hange moved their pussy back to your mouth, you were in heaven because they tasted so good. Your slurping was music to both of their ears, so Levi rewarded you by placing his head in between your pretty boobs, fucking you faster in the mating press position. His balls were slapping the opening of your other hole and his arms were tightly around your abdomen. He loved the feeling of your stomach and tit moving up and down against his body. You were remarkable. The table shook underneath you three and you were so glad that this was drilled into the ground outside in the back of the barn because if it wasn’t this would’ve been fell. Levi dick was hitting the right spot inside of you, which made your loud moans get Hange off. The strength of your tongue circling around their clit prior to moving inside of their wet pussy was amazing.

All while this was happening, you all didn’t notice a tall shadow in the woods behind the barn watching you all with a small smirk on his face. You were a dumb silly girl who was easy to manipulate and he was going to have much fun with you later on. His nephew may have had you first, but he’ll fuck you better because he need you to know that there is bigger and better out here for you. Plus, he hated your grandfather and now your father, so he was glad he found out that you were his daughter. Only time will tell.

✧˖° Kenny Ackerman + at the lake beach party in the woods

The younger crew that you previously met on the first night invited you out for a party at the private lake beach of Napeville. You have never been to one of these types of swimming parties, mainly because you wouldn’t dare touch the water because of how dirty it is and because you have never been in the woods like this. You blamed your parents for this because now you have to go through the woods just to get to a party Reiner was co-throwing with Connie.

At first, your parents didn’t want you to go since you were on duty-calls for sneaking off to fuck Levi and Hange, they obviously didn’t know that was the reason. Reiner convinced them and said he was going to “ look out for you and help you finish your duties tomorrow. You didn’t know why your parents suddenly trusted Reiner, but they let you go before telling you to watch out for a man named “ Kenny the ripper”. You paid no mind as you walked to your room.

One thing you looked forward to was looking cute at the party. You had the perfect skirts and bikini to wear. Your bikini was a size smaller than your actual size and you and everyone loved it. You would think you would be shy with a body like yours, but you weren’t because you and the others thought you were the sexiest person at the party especially with your little back rolls and tummy out.

Your swimsuit did you justice and Kenny thought the same when he lurked around watching you holding the red cup in your hands, never once stepping near the water. He needed to get close and he didn’t have a way right now, so imagine his surprise when you made it easier for him to fuck you while walking through the woods to get to your car for an extra towel for Mikasa.

On the way back to Mikasa, you ran into the chest of Kenny Ackerman, a man your parents told you to stay away from just recently too. You couldn’t be stupid enough to insult the older man with a smart remark of how old he is and how you heard that old people have bad eyesight right? You couldn’t be stupid enough to smile when he gave you a backwards compliment on how the pretty gingham wedges you were walking in the woods with is a stupid and cute choice for you, right? You also couldn’t be stupid enough to let him hold you by the neck against a thick tree, only to react with a bite of your plump lip, right? Well you were indeed stupid enough to do all of those things in the act of also getting off to how strong the older man was, wanting a piece of him in the end.

Reasons why you were tied at the hands with your bikini bra and Kenny bottoming inside of you against a tree. Your bouncing tits littered with dark stretch marks hurt as they bounced back and forth against the tree and your moans were muffled by your bikini bottoms, so you were completely naked with only his cowboy hat on your head. Kenny let out a low maniacal laugh at the desperation your eyes plead as they looked back at you, “ My my my, sweet pea, such a dumb little thing aren’t cha’? Didn’t the little shit teach you not to do anymore dumb shit anymore or was it girly shit? Hell if I know, I just know I’m gonna fuck you like the fuckdoll you are.” He tried not to let out a loud moan as he watched your ass bounce back on his big cock, he was bigger than Levi and Erwin put together, you hated it because it didn’t necessarily fit in all the way— your pussy was only taking him just above his pelvis.

“ Gonna tell your old man that his daughter is a town’s whore and shouldn’t be allowed to be here. Maybe then that poor excuse of a father will grant me half of his farm land once I send the pictures to his phone, eh?… Shit, keep squeezing me like that, sweet pea, and I’m gonna breed this fat little cunt— fill it to the brim and send you home with the next Ackerman generation inside of you.”, Kenny says with a powerful thrust inside of your pussy. The slapping sounds and your muffled pleas were echoed throughout the little area in the woods. Your pussy was something else to him. She warmed his dick up mighty good and he couldn’t help but to admire you. You were definitely a beauty so maybe he shall stick to his original plan.

“Mmgh- mmmm- pldhpse.”, you felt like your eyes were stuck in the back of your head from how hard he was pounding you from behind and against a tree at that. Trees were yucky and splintery to you, in the back of your mind you hoped that the wood wouldn't magically appear in your stomach and tits. He bit your ear when he dropped his pants to the ground, instantly groping one of your tits with his right hand and playing with your pussy with his left hand. “ Come on, my pretty pea, set up a little get together with myself and the old fuck of a father, a great fuck greater than the one you have right now is guaranteed as the prize.”

Kenny slowed down his pace before stopping and pulling out of you with his cock touching the back of your thighs. He took the bikini piece balled up in your mouth out to let you breathe and talk properly. You didn’t get what he was asking and thought he was an old friend that your family knew, “ yes— please, please, please, I’ll get you that meeting, fuck me Mr., I need— I need your dick inside me. No mercy on my pretty little cunt.” Kenny stared at you wide eyed when you turned around to lock eyes with him. Holy Shit! You were such a needy little whore. He was going to have fun with you. He met a couple of women that were needy for his cock, but not like this.

The next thing you know, your feet was dangling in the air—on the side of his naked waist during the time of his arms underneath your thighs, holding you up as he fucked into you like a mad dog in heat. You were surprised that he could pick you without cracking any bones or hurting his back or arms. He did hunt animals and people, but you didn’t need to worry your pretty head about that. But his cock felt like it was punching your stomach in and out, “ ha-nnn~ s’good, it’s sooo good. Gonna cum all over your meaty cock. Fuck!” Your moans were filling his ears and he loved every word that came out of your mouth, so he sped up his pace, your heels long gone and his pants dropped to his ankles so now you both were fucking like the vampires in the woods on true blood. So deep into each other that you couldn’t think or hear, otherwise you would’ve heard your name being called by Mikasa and Eren.

“ Shh, what’s that I hear, little pea? I hear your friends getting closer, but you don’t seem to care, do you? You stupid little girl, you don’t care that your friends will see you fucking the one man they were told to watch out for? Ah, I got it, your- fucking hell you’re clamping down on me like you never want me to pull out. Such a bad girl you are, huh? Yeah, s’fucking naughty!”, Kenny’s words were getting to you more than the close shouts from Mikasa and Eren. You couldn’t even figure out which direction they were coming from because now Kenny was dipping and moving his hips in a rhythm you couldn’t even decipher in music class if you cared for it. Fuck, he was what you needed. Kenny's big hands gripped your ass in his hands, mounding them as he pounded inside of your soaking pussy that was ready to squirt all over his cock. He loved the way you held onto him tightly in fear of him dropping you. You were a piece of work that was sure. Considering how hard and fast he’s going, this would be your first time squirting and it’s sad that it was by the one person you were told to stay away from. When he introduced himself to you after making you squirt and cream onto his cock, all at the same time, You knew you practically signed over your father’s life and land of crops for big mean Kenny Ackerman. You were so fucked, yet you didn’t even noticed or care because you were too fucked out to know that he was the man to fear.

✧˖° Reiner, Porco, and Pieck + Reiner’s room in his ranch

Reiner couldn’t sleep unless he gets a chance with you, but why hadn’t you even looked his way. It's been weeks since his lake-beach party and he couldn’t get you out his head, hell he couldn’t even get the strawberry or other candy/fruit scent out of his mind as well. He knew of the others fucking you and still wanted you, so when you suddenly stood laughing next to Pieck with a big, blue lollipop in your mouth, he couldn’t help himself to fantasize that that blue sucker was his cock instead. He couldn’t help but to look over at Pieck and now Porco eyeing you sucking on the sucker with pure fondness in their postures and eyes. He had a plan.

Luckily for him, Pieck was one step ahead of him when she asked you to go to lunch with them. As she wrapped her arms around your shoulders, she brought her fingers to your shirt that said the words “ Dumb Bimbo in Charge” with rhinestone letters. Reiner and Porco knew what she was doing by making you explain what your shirt meant just for them to not pay attention to shit you were saying. Hell, you didn’t even know what it means because you were too dumb to get it, you just thought it was cute. Too focus on how excitedly your boobs bounced as you tried to explain what your shirt meant to you.

Only when you asked the question “ Do you wanna know what Blue lemonade tastes like?” They paid attention and Porco was surprised to see your eyes on him and Reiner, especially Reiner. Gulping and nodding to your question cause you to suddenly dip your blue sucker in your lemonade— putting it back in your mouth sucking harshly. Eventually pulling it out of your mouth whilst bringing Reiner’s face close to yours kissing him. Pock and Pieck were jealous and from that moment on you all decided to visit Reiner parents ranch they left to him.

Your body felt pleasure from all over as you lay under Pieck in a 69 position, taking Porco’s cock inside of her hot pussy during the time of you taking Reiner’s cock inside of your pussy. His moans were so whiny as he moved in and out of your drenched pussy with a thumb inside of your puckering hole, “ She’s so- ahhunn- she’s so eager to take me in, Porco.” You indeed were eager to take him in as the wet sounds of yours and Pieck’s pussy rippled in the room you all were in. Porco grunted as Pieck squeezed against his cock, “ Shit Pieck, Reiner shut the hell up, m’tryna get off here and all I hear is your whiny- annoying ass voice.” Reiner didn’t respond to Porco’s comment due to feeling your pussy convulse around his dick.

You, on the other hand, was in love with the way Reiner cock took up so much space inside of your pussy, filling you just right. Tears were brought to your eyes as you started feeling Reiner’s balls slapping against your hole from how deep he was inside of you, “ Mm’guh, s’deep, I can’t breathe, mmmm.” Reiner smirked as Porco eyes widened at how lewd you were talking about Reiner’s dick beating your pussy in. He couldn’t let Reiner win this, so he stuck two fingers in your mouth since your face was facing him as he dug deep into a moaning Pieck, “ Suck, bitch. After you’re done, suck my girl’s clit as I fuck her. That’s what you’re good for right, Ymir told us all about how skilled your pussy eating is.” You coughed and drooled on his thick fingers as they hit the pack of your throat.

Reiner hissed shapely at your clenching on his cock, landing a harsh smack on your thighs with his right hand, “ Seems your pussy took a liking to my cock, doll face. Wonder if she could take the shape of my cock even better than she is right now? Shit~ yeah, yeah, just like that. So fucking tight. Oh~” Pieck was so out of touch with this world that she jumped when she felt a hand slap her clit from below, she then proceeds to stroke a finger over your slit— taking in how sticky her hands are becoming. her moans only grew louder when she felt a calming suck on her clit from you, “ Pieck’s dripping— mmmgh! dripping so much Porco. She’s doing so good for us.”

Porco eyes rolled to the back of his head as you licked from Piecks pussy to the part of his cock that wasn’t inside of Pieck. Reiner didn’t take kindly to you lifting yourself up to do that. In response, he slammed inside of you, gripping your love handles harshly as he pounded inside of your pussy, “ Stop trying to run, doll face, can’t have you slipping from me to please that fucker.” It was like a different man came out as he pounded into your now bruised pussy. You couldn’t keep up with the licking of Pieck’s cunt because of the power thrust Reiner was doing to your body. “ yes, yes, yeshhh!” Your moans were shut off by Porco snatching your hair up to Pieck’s saturated pussy taking in his cock with a grip you could visibly see.

Reiner and Porco’s chest were glistening with cold sweat as they fucked you and Pieck with meaning. You were on the verge of cumming and wanted to try to hold it, but Pieck latched her luscious lips on your clit, sucking and curling her tongue around you eagerly. Your screams were muffled as it vibrated Pieck’s pussy causing her to squirt on your face and Porco’s cock. Porco couldn’t believe he was living his dream right now, “ Fuck~ I guess you are worthy little something huh, so fucking sexy.” He rubbed your head during the time of you swirling your tongue on Pieck’s slightly tan pussy. Soon after, Porco gripped Pieck’s hips as he slowly overstimulated her pussy like Reiner was doing your creaming pussy, “ doing so good for me, Pieck. A fucking good girl, now make her squirt f’me, P’.”

Pieck begins to licking more rapidly with her moans vibrating your clit. Reiners pounding only added to your pleasure and soon you were soaking and creaming around his cock and on Pieck’s face. Her eyes closed as you squirted on it, taking in the taste of your juices as well. Reiner’s hand gripped harshly on the headboard of the bed you all were on and with a loud yell of your name he came inside of you with no hesitation. You were so glad that you went to the clinic for a check up and got on birth control, otherwise you would’ve been done for. Kids were not on your list but it was on Reiner’s list as he came inside of you seeing nothing except for hazy imaginary snowflakes as he looked at the ceiling. His chest on Pieck’s head as he breathed into her hair, only jumping up from how shook your body was and Porco’s scream as he came into Pieck’s pussy.

Pieck’s moans were so fucking cute to you. You would love to do this again with the three of them, only next time you wanted Porco for yourself. Reiner was perfect, yet you still wanted more. More was in Porco especially with the way he locked eyes with you when you looked up at him through low eyes. His chest raised up and down with the eyes of a person who wanted whatever was in front of them like a kid seeing their favorite plushy and wanting it. Reiner bent down to kissed your thigh whispering a raspy “ thank you” and you squeezed around his limp cock still inside of you. Nothing but a grunt was heard when you did that. He hoped what he heard from your dad wasn’t true. He didn’t want you to leave to go stay with a relative in the city, just to go to college. It’s a college here, a small one, but he hopes it’ll do. It’s also 30 miles away so why couldn’t you stay? Stay.

✧˖° Keith Shadis and Eren Kruger + Theo Magath + at a dinner party inside of your parents house

Your father and mother told you that they were having a dinner party with the residents of this town, mostly the higher ups and they told you to dress appropriately. They were wary of your definition of appropriate so they had to specify it two times for you to get it. And when you asked if you have to attend, the look on your mothers face told you your answer. You are their daughter and you’re gonna have to take over after your parents die. Generational farming was not for you. You’re definitely gonna be the one to end that curse.

The list of people that showed up was huge, luckily your house was huge enough for them. Everyone you had sex with was here probably, not that you care. They just better keep it quiet. The noise downstairs was filled with nothing but plates and untensils clattering with loud laughs and talks. You heard a portion of the older man you fucked until the topic of Kenny Ackerman came up.

You wanted to eavesdrop so bad, but thought otherwise because you wanted to finger yourself to the last encounter with the said man. With your head against your fluffy pink silk pillow and hands locked in the handcuffs you brought, you fingered yourself to the memories inside of your head of every person you fucked. You couldn’t help yourself and couldn’t stop fingering yourself as the noise drowned out. You didn’t even stop fingering yourself when Eren Kruger walked into your room, mislaying your room for the bathroom.

Kruger eyes were wide when he walked in on you knuckle deep inside of your pussy moaning multiple men names, some of them was friends of his like Erwin, Levi, Ackerman, Zeke, Hange, etc. he made the conclusion that you were the little fox his colleagues were spending weeks talking about like they were in love with you. God. You looked so pretty with your mouth formed in a little O as you struggled to get off due to your pink handcuffs on your wrist. He closed the door not so quietly causing you to gasp out at the sudden noise. Your eyes widened when you saw who it was. The man who came here three weeks ago to talk with your dad; he was with two other men though.

His grey eyes peeled into you before he spoke to you in a deep gruff voice, “ So you’re the infamous, { reader}. Such a beauty you are…” he stood there, eyeing you slowly closing your legs with your fingers now placed on your pretty stomach, over the fabric of your pretty white dress. Your thighs were what he wanted to be suffocated in and that’s exactly why he came closer to you. You tried to move back to sit up, but he shook his head and immediately you stopped moving like you were in a trance, “ Can I help you out, princess? Want to make you feel good and much better. Allow me to make you feel good, princess.”

You stared at him getting on his knees in his black trousers. You were eyeing the door, slithering your eyes back to him with a meek nod of your head. You were never shy but he had the aura to make you do so. Kruger didn’t waste any time pulling off your panties underneath your dress you were supposed to make your way down the stairs with, “ so pretty.” His deep voice caused you to clench at air and he chuckled with his head still under your dress. He licked a strip of your fat pussy, your body shuddering in response followed by a little whine, “ fuck, please continue.” Kruger obeyed you and took long and slow licks up and down your pussy. Older men and women have proven to be better at everything because you’ve never gripped the sheets just from three licks of your pussy.

Kruger enjoyed the taste of your pussy, wanting to suck that pretty, puffy clit. He sucked your clit with meaning causing you to raise up a little to bunch your dress up over your plump tummy revealing his pretty eyes already on you. His facial structure made him highly attractive outstandingly when he moved his tongue in a slow circle around your clit. You two were lost in each other’s eyes that when the door opened and closed you couldn’t hear it. Your head tilted back at how good he was eating your pussy, “ Just like that, mmm, Mr. Kruger I want more.” Girls in their 20s wasn’t his type because they’re so whiny and much younger than him, yet he couldn’t help groaning into your pussy at your whines.

A hand suddenly grabbed your chin, squeezing your cheeks together. Your eyes widened in high alert when you saw the sunken eyes of a man you were afraid of ever since he came here giving you a mean stare: Keith shadis was a man you genuinely feared and respected enough to want. Kruger hummed against your Pussy prior to speaking once he detached from you with a string of saliva and juice following, “ See you made it, shadis. Didn’t expect you to come in and join, consider me impressed.” Keith's eyes hardened at Kruger, turning to you before he captured your lips with a bruising, hard kiss. Your hips bucked into the air from the hot, steaming kiss you shared with the tall 6’6 man, they were both so tall and big. Keith broke from the kiss with a little peck on your chin and lips, “ Couldn’t let you have all the fun, haven’t had this much fun since 95’. Wouldn’t miss it, although her mouth looks a little bored, a little conniving whore like her needs a cock in her mouth to satisfy her. Who knows? She might even have an oral fixation and if she doesn’t, I’ll create it for her to have.”

Keith pushed you back on the bed, taking his shoes off to climb onto the bed with his knees on the side of your head— messing up your hair a little bit. He unbuckled his pants and his dick popped out slapping you on the forehead, he was uncircumcised yet still had a huge cock you wanted down your throat. You grabbed his cock at the same time Kruger pushed his tongue inside of your pussy, “ Augh-mmmph.” As soon as you opened your mouth, Keith shoved his cock down your throat, fucking your throat fast with a vicious grip on your hairstyle you got. It hurts so good. Theo opened the door and slide inside to watch with a cigar hanging out his mouth. His eyes was focused on how well you took Keith’s dick inside of your mouth. He looked down at his trousers and shifted. Keith and Kruger knew he was there but you didn’t. How could you when Keith’s groans and Kruger’s slurping was heard along with your muffled moans from the dick sucking you were happily doing.

Keith was in heaven once your tongue slid I’ve this veins and Kruger was in heaven when your pussy drowned his face in your juices. Theo Magath was just a bystander and man did he want to join— he’ll wait out his turn. While you were about to get fucked out by three older men, your family was downstairs with the men and women you already gave yourself to. Such a slut and your parents had no idea what you’ve been doing and what you’re doing right now. You heard them calling you downstairs, though you were too busy being used by all three men upstairs in your recent decorative room. After all, you are the Farmer’s daughter that turned into the town’s Slut. Therefore, you are now the Town’s Slut and you’re not going anywhere else any time soon.

Tagging: @shunsuist @honeybleed @simpingfor-wakasa @happygoluckyalexis @mastermindenoshimaalicia @nutheadgeenat ( if you wanted to be tagged), @angelshub @bontens-angel and anyone else who wants to be tagged in.

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