#I literally said thank u to childe bc it was at a 50/50

[souglias]

IM AT C2 CHILDE NOW AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[miengsol]

⊼, ⊾ & ⋒

ferre keeps on talking ( ft. get to know the rp & rph mun meme w/ @bloodxhound )

{ ⊼ } —- what’s your favorite thing about rp? 

I love how interactive rp is!! It’s one of the reasons I’ve come to love writing so much, have stuck with it, and chose to pursue it as a career option. When I was studying creative writing, one thing that struck out to me was how often ppl said that writing was a lonely pursuit and that?? actually blew my mind bc writing through rp was not that at all!! Of course, this might be a unique way of getting into writing, but rp is one of my beloved hobbies bc it allows me to explore stories & characters not just by myself but also with others!! And I get to be exposed to other writers and their stories as well <3

{ ⊾ } —- favorite rp memory? 

That 50+ notes thread we started back in 2019 with ray and calum?? Honestly, I still go back to ur blog and read it on occasion bc I’ve always adored your writing, ray, and writing w/ you cyan <3 <3 <3 ( that and also holy- the fact that we writing like at least three long paragraphs once a day at the beginning is mind-boggling, cyan help, where can I find that willpower again- )

{ ⋒ } —- biggest rp pet peeve?

Hi cyan, thank u for enabling me and letting me be salty for a hot second….i have a lot, but here’s one that applies specifically here: when people misspell my muses’ names. Like I understand it happening once or twice, but when it's consistent, i am just :| this is a writing activity, which requires reading. I make a point to use my characters names at least once in a reply so that my partners have a reference to go off of on how to spell their names. So when they misspell say, calum’s name or even his child’s name ( sol’s old name- the number of times different people kept on writing ‘ezra’ even though I literally had the correct spelling in my reply is unreal ), i get really turned off :/

[mccoys-killer-queen]

Seeing Dokken/Lynch Mob/Ted Poley (Danger Danger) in concert

this was just at my normal go-to venue 50 minutes away

I was VERY PREPARED THIS TIME and bought a chair, blanket, hat, gloves, scarf, wore 2 pairs of pants, and my GOOD JACKET

yes this meant ppl were judging me I JUST HATE THE COLD OK

i made line friends again this time we're gonna call them Dan and Barry and they're Elder Metalheads and told stories about protecting their wives and other children at shows

Ted Poley granted me a photo pass but no one from his management gave a fuck and didn't tell the venue so I didn't get a pass :( he's such a sweet guy tho

so this guy I was hanging out with at the Sonic Slam show last summer turned out to be my one insta friend's COUSIN LOL so the two of them plus his mom got me up at the barrier LMAOO it pays off to make friends in line

I was extremely disappointed in the merch. there were literally 3 (three) shirts to choose from. That was it. Plus you could buy a CD if u wanted. They also weren't taking card. Fuck that. I bought a double vodka cranberry instead.

due to personal reasons I think I gotta stan Danger Danger now

literally I never heard a single song by them until a week ago but Ted is just so nice and fun and he put on a hell of a 30 minute show

he also threw balloons into the crowd that we had to blow up ourselves it was hilarious

there was also this little kid next to me the entire time and Ted threw him a balloon but he didn't catch it so he knelt down in front of this kid and threw like ALL the balloons at him it was so sweet ;-;

just wanna say for the record that I was there for like at least 8 core memory moments for that child last night and that balloon story was one of them

for Don't Walk Away, Ted came into the crowd bc he said 'it looks like you're having so much fun out there, I'm gonna join you!' and i couldn't find him like the entire time eoirngwoergnwerg

he also spit like a ton of times over his head and idk what it is about concert but it always makes me want men to spit on me

honestly Ted's set was the height of the show

Lynch Mob was really good and their singer... 👁👄👁

he's got crazy eyes, he's got long curly dark brown hair, and he's a petite little bitch

he also looks like Derek Day from Classless Act and Rami Malek's lovechild

his pants were TOOOOOOO LOWW 👁👄👁👁👄👁👁👄👁 i could see pubes 👁👄👁

watching George Lynch play is an otherworldly experience

at the end of their set, their drummer threw his drumsticks into the crowd and the little boy next to me caught one and everyone around him EXPLODED with joy (another core memory moment)

at one point their bassist threw his pick and I ended up getting it off the floor and giving it to this boy too

his mom thanked me secretly rogwrgtpmrtg

idk why everyone says Don Dokken can still sing I'm sorry but he can't he's worse than Vince Neil like he was literally monotone the entire time I was disappointed

despite that we were still bangin and goin nuts

Don did smile at me 3 times tho and wave at me ;-;

his stories were funny too trpptprptg like he said in Germany they eat french fries with mayo and that's the only thing he knew out to say in german in the early 80s and it's all he would eat bc of that

also he kept gushing about the crowd and the venue and how much he loves Penn's Peak and the crowd is always wild and how the venue is in the middle of nowhere (which is very correct)

there was also a red flag where Don introduced Dream Warriors with how big Patricia Arquette's boobs were when she was 16  🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩

also based on everything I've heard from Ted, Dokken and their team don't sound like very nice people erogneorgtgpptt

I wanted to meet Ted afterwards but I didn't wanna push it ;-; he emailed me today offering me a pass at his show in NJ on Friday but I declined bc 1- I would have to leave straight from work 2- I would have to drive through Philadelphia 3- how is he sure they'll actually listen to him this time and 4- it's over 100 miles away so I'd have to invest in so much gas :( sorry Ted i want to but it's it's just not gonna be worth it

[ushibug]

MEETING THE FAMILY! - captains.

summary: they meet the family uwu

Ushijima Wakatoshi

a statue

he just stands in the middle of the kitchen, holding his drink

People are trying to talk to him and he’s trying, know he’s trying but he’s so blunt

“Ushijima, Y/N says you hope to go to the Olympics for volleyball!”

“I am going to the Olympics for volleyball...”

Hes a little over whelmed but like I said he’s trying

Blushes when your mom hugs him

It’s not until they see him with wide eyes at one of your family members trying to teach him a recipe and he’s nodding like a child.

“Ah. He has feelings!” Your uncle jokes.

Kuroo Tetsurou

He walks in like he’s already best friends with the whole fam

“Omg grandma Y/L/N, come here! Lemme hug you!”

He’s so goofy too, teasing you at the dinner table, sharing embarrassing stories and begging your parents to show him anything of your past that makes your face blush.

Oh he’s a kiss ass 100% but it’s too make you happy

Your aunts will love him I swear

Is definitely someone who pulls out a chair for anyone about to sit down. SWOON.

KISSES YOUR CHEEK when he gets up to grab you something omg ahhh

Take Kuroo to a family dinner 2020

Daichi Sawamura

So respectful

Like common we already know, he’s gonna walk in bringing gifts, drinks, flowers for your mom, cousins, dad, whatever LMAO

Basically spoils your siblings if you have any.

He shakes your dads hand with such power

One glance and the whole crew is like “yes. He’s perfect husband material.”

Drinks a beer with your grandpa and grandma

Did I already say RESPECTFUL

Like helps clean up after, distract any kids if there’s any, makes sure everyone had desert

Your parents beg him to marry you

“Listen if you won’t, I will.” Says your grandma.

Kotaro Bokuto

I know he’s nervous omg

Yeah he’s big and loud but he’s so so so nervous to go to a family dinner

He even changed his outfit 5x that day

Anyways when he walks in he kind trips and blushes and he’s stuttering

“oh what a handsome boy.”

“THANK YOU.” He yells, so flustered.

It gets better when y’all finally sit down to eat, less nervous as he realizes everyone is so welcoming

Plus he’s eating so much, complimenting the food, making whoever cooked it proud so that’s a bonus

Yeah, take him to a couple more and he’ll get better

Oikawa Tooru

Listen, he’s already besties with yah mom

And your aunts.

And your cousins.

And everyone else.

So when he walks in everyone greets him rather than you LMAO

“Oh Toru hurry, hurry you must sit!”

He’s #1 Facebook friends with everyone and it’s his first dinner I literally cannot

He just shrugs it off, ego boosting.

But he did this for you.

Had the blessing to marry you the minute they met him.

Yuji Terushima

I’m sorry babe but this was not the boy your parents wanted you to bring

Dyed hair, ear piercing, TONGUE PIERCING.

You’re nervous, bc u love him so much , you don’t want your relatives to say anything rude ~ hands will be thrown if so

But he’s like “I got this babe”

“So you must be Yuuji.” Your dad mumbles

Man hits him with the “Yes sir. Thank you for allowing me to come along with Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you sir.”

Then hits your mom with the “omg you must be Y/N’s sister!!”

Your grandpa with the “You don’t look a day over 50.”

Omg he’s trying okay??!

Shinsuke Kita

Pulls up in a suit, carrying roses.

Dinner or Prom proposal??

Anyways he is very proper, very on point. Somehow already knows all the name to your family?

Wouldn’t be surprised if he knows who was your great great aunt or something.

So when he pulls up he takes a bow and thanks everyone for welcoming him.

Omg the whole family just blushes at his nature.

“He’s a prince. He must be!” Your cousins whisper.

Definitely tries not to be so straight forward but he’s never known failure, so not making your family like him is NO option.

Basically they love him in 25 minutes and 53 seconds. He timed it.

[ameliasbitvh]

ahhhh! thank you all soso much for the 300 followers! i just hit 200 last week?! how are there 300 of you? i honestly don’t know, but i started this account as a place to just read smut and then i decided to post on here. the reason why my first post was angst was because i was being a slut for angst to feel something in those few moments- okay i’ll stop myself right there. for this milestone i’m going to do mutual appreciation for the moots i’ve interacted with the most so far! (if we’re moots and u wanna interact pls do, i’m not scary!)

okayy first up,

@underappreciated-spoon-321

i love you so much bby, i could not believe it when you followed me. i was legit crying happy tears and i specifically remember you followed me after i posted “needy” random lol.

your writing is immaculate, absolutely lovely. ur smut *chefs kisses* i love that you put up with my shit photos that i send you and that you actually ask for more- but it baffled me when you first interacted with me, this was my reaction

*deep breath* “omfg! (ur username) just interacted with me, wtf do i do?!” also ur nick name reminds me of belly from dear, draco.

i’m not writing a lot, bc for your sleepover i wrote you a damn paragraph 😭 but i love u sm belly!! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

@dracoskinks

ARI! i love talking to you, bc i can talk about anything and when i say anything i mean anything. like kinks, porn, random draco scenarios, etc… you are one of the funniest people i have seen on this app.

ur blunt and funny at the same time, it just makes it more fun to talk to you. ur smut is soso good, bc i don’t find a lot of smut with a dom!reader and sub!draco.

i remember you followed me, so out of curiosity i checked out your blog and saw your piss kink fic and that did it for me. after that i followed you back and we became moots ajnwja. when ur first account got terminated you scared me so fucking much, because i thought you were going to leave tumblr forever. don’t. ever. play. like. that. again. i’m glad we became moots bc i fucking love you <3

@opalsheart

I LOVE YOU SM! i think u were the first moot that i interacted with in direct messages, bc you had tea to spill, and ever since than we’ve been #4lifers. you send me edits and hate on t*m felton with me on instagram. you were the first mutual to know what i looked like lmaoo. u r an absolute goddess, bestie, like what- i know that you can pull anyone you want, so stop playing when you talk about someone.

even though we have a fucking 12 hour time difference, we still find time to talk to each other. it is so fun talking with you and the fact that when we talk it’s night for one of us. you let me send that stupid tik tok of ed sheeran and t*m felton to you and it probably haunts your dreams now ajnwajsj-

i appreciate that you study ur MF ass off for your exams, bc i could never. and you even send me those cute memes when i wake up- also we better be watching those true crime documentaries, bc i’m still waiting. idc if we have a time difference :) anyways ILY SM ELLIE !! <3

@laceycallisto

okay- where do i even get started with this. we first interacted when i reblogged that draco fan fic and we reblogged talking about how desperate we were trying to find that iconic fic. and i forgot that the creator could see all the reblogging we were doing- you texted me directly about adding my name into your tags, which obviously i agreed to. then we just started talking about random shit like how we were superior because we were june geminis. or how we talked about being in love with remus lupin.

i have vivid flash backs of how your remus fic hurt me. i cried my false lashes off proof reading janajaj- bestie- you’ve seen me cry ajnwja- your writing is ethereal, i don’t know how you can see that? your so nice too, like girly u gave me ur netflix within like a day of knowing each other 💀 we watched bridgerton in two mother fucking sittings. we ate that bridgerton hoe up!

all ur input on the scenes were so funny like the “with child” and “dicking” comments 😭 i love how it’s so easy to talk to you about everything, like how dumb i am- even talking about the privilege of being poc and not burning in the sun. bruh u even let me tag u in dumb tik tok videos, like what?! and i think your the only mutual i have that’s in the same time zone as me… also we better binge the next season. but ily sm, ur like my older sister, even if u say ur life is shitty 😭 <3

@dracomalfoys-wh0re

honestly, kacia. i owe a lot to you for my account being “found” or whatever, bc you reblogged a fic of mine, i’m pretty sure it was “common room” and that’s when i started getting notes and followers najajwjwj- you might not know that but i do 💀 i will forever remember that.

you literally were one of the first accounts ever- to follow me. and i won’t lie, i went crazy when u followed me because i love your fics so much! you are so funny and blunt too i swear 😭

and can we talk about your tom riddle fic? like?!the fact that you really showed tom’s true personality and character. every world had me enthralled further into the fic, the way you wrote him is exactly how i think tom riddle would act towards his s/o. his toxicity and gaslighting is too accurate.

moving on from the discussion of your fic, which is amazing, ily sm babe!!

@yoooespinosa

we’ve interacted a few times and when u texted me directly saying that you thought i was sweet, i literally went, “omg- people think i’m sweet” in a good way, not bad jkwajjw- can i just get started on your writing, because oh. my. fucking. god. it is the most captivating and heart breaking thing i’ve ever seen- the emotions that you put into every word completes the entire fic. every angst piece that you have written, made me cry or made something inside me just twist with sadness. it is truly lovely and magnificent.

how do ur fics not get thousands of notes? because everyone should see what you write, it’s unfair that others haven’t seen your fics. when u explained your dream to me, i swear you practically wrote a whole fic 😭

i remember u said that you wanted to do a face reveal, but we’re scared. bestie what are you scared of? you look like an ANGEL!! and if anyone were to disagree, they are obviously blind. but ily bestie <3

@o-rion-sta-r

BESTIE BAE ORION i love you so much!interacting with you is honestly so fun. and i remember like literally yesterday we were trying to figure out ari’s time zone and we were freaking out. you, ari, and me all have a fucking time difference 😭 it sucks so much!

at least every day you ask me how my days been and i think that’s so sweet, because before i got on tumblr people didn’t ask that question. i appreciate that you ask me that and just random questions in general, because i love interacting with you so much. and you should start writing bby! i will reblog anything you write, also ily sm <3

@ilygw

we don’t talk a lot, but you seem like a fun person! i love seeing all the edits you post on here, bc honestly i need more ferret boy content. i know there is a lot, but i feel like i’ve seen all of them. until i see you posting a new edit and i’m like, “okay… i guess i haven’t seen every draco edit” but that’s all i have lol, ly!!

@arcaneslut

to be honest, you seemed so intimidating to me. i know you said you’re not, but to me you seemed really scary even though i knew you weren’t 😭 i just interacted with you recently and you are so sweet i swear! i love all ur fics, especially “and then i felt nothing” because when i read this fic you better believe i was crying so hard- to the point where i couldn’t breath- everything was written so beautifully, i couldn’t believe it.

i love how one thing we share in common is losing our phones 💀 but i just wanted to say thank you for explaining the whole sleepover and celebration things to me! even tho we just started interacting i already love u!!

moots bc i’m in love with all of them: @just-a-smol-spoon @dreamy-clousds @dracoskinks @unedibledaisyduck @thatsassyhufflepuff @a-aexotic @l0vely-lupin @gothboutique @wolfstar4lifee @littlemissnoname13 @deatthfairy @arcaneslut @ladyvesuvia @laceycallisto @dracossweetprincess @the-lonely-poet-loves-to-weep @realityblocked @harmqnia @yoooespinosa @opalsheart @lilscloud @cupids-crystals @mellifluousart @lunas-kisses @malfoysmainb @klauscarolove @crystxlss @beforeoursunsets @marrymetheonott @queeriacs @electriclocean @dlmmdl @o-rion-sta-r @sfdlm @ilygw @desiredmalfoy @underappreciated-spoon-321 @draco-and-tom @hellounicorn @mugglesthesedays @dracomalfoys-wh0re

if i didn’t tag u it’s bc i can’t tag more than 50 blogs :(

[liaisun]

I am begging u tell me more about the streamer bfs au

HELLO KICKS :D thank u 4 asking <3 i ended up scrolling back thru a gazillion messages but it was absolutely worth it. please allow me 2 present the babes

streamer bfs is a very self indulgent kandreil au, pure fluff absolutely 0 plot in here. they live in a Streamer Content House™ with the other foxes. kandrew r dating and neil is in a queer platonic relationship w them !! there's two parts of it right now, the first being just streaming shenanigans and interactions and then further actual relationship development with neil :]

SO BACKSTORY !! we have andrew: a complete weirdo but likeable abt it? just a chill dude doing his own thing while gaming. sometimes he codes too (here is a beloved fic with absolutely feral robot maker/youtuber!drew). his channel name is nyandrew, it never gets Big big but its stable enough that andrew can do it for fun. he has The Cat Ear Headphones which he never acknowledges the existence of but still wears every single stream. king knocked over his camera once and that 10 second clip became his channel trailer forevermore

there's always someone in the back of his streams just . sleeping?  it's kinda hard to see, no one knows who it is and andrew never addresses it so everyone just accepts it as another quirk of his lives... until one day andrew streams earlier than normal and halfway through the door creaks open and they hear "...babe? i couldn't-- oh. can i come in" cue absolute CHAOS within the chat bc WHO IS THIS !!!!

this person is the one and only kevin day. he's a college student but lives at the house and usually pops up in the other's vids. he was helping dan (who started this whole operation) with moving in. that day he hung out with the foxes, who convinced him to stay for their first day sleepover celebration and then he never left :]

neil is a faceless streamer and a generally funky dude . he started out with silent walkthroughs/speedruns of puzzle games, and now he plays whatever while keeping up the most bizarre and unrelated commentary. he also runs the foxes' podcast. his 'quiplash/jackbox with friends' vids (prompt game where everyone votes on their fav answer) are his most popular because he always has the most brutal and funny answers and he's in top 3 every single time

he only shows up on camera in the other's streams as a hand or legs but once a week MINIMUM the mysterious neil comes into andrew's room and says "release the roombas" and then u hear meowing (this is also where the channel trailer comes from)

kev's always sleeping on lives because andrew streams at 2am (insomnia things)... kev has night terrors and sleeps better with someone else in the room, but andrew can't really sleep with another person on the bed so this system works 4 them

there's this mythical clip of neil coming in and like collapsing on top of kevin sleeping on the floor. they say something 2 each other and neil laughs and then leaves AND IT HAS TORN THE INTERNET APART FOR YEARRSSSSS nyandrew's biggest career drama is nobody knows what's happening between them

andrew is also generally such a gremlin about answering questions u will never get a straight answer from this man ever . and on this topic he is the Worst. (referring 2 kevin) "who's ur friend?" he's not my friend.   "okay. what's the name of the man in the room with you?" very funny guys. that prank won't work there is no one behind me . "u said u were an only child" i never said that. i said i grew up an only child    and so on

people make compilations like "andrew minyard (nyandrew) holding his bf for 10 mins straight (ft. neil)" [in which neil also holds said bf and chat exploded] "andrew ignoring chat for 5 mins straight" "5 minutes of nyandrew lifting anything but weights (ft. his bf)"

there's also my personal fav "nyandrew (ñandrew) cursing in spanish for 2 mins straight" yes andrew speaks spanish. the clips are from a stream he did with nicky and when nicky tries 2 mention an embarrassing moment andrew says "ah tienes cojones... él tiene cojones sí mi gente" (you have some balls.. he's got balls right guys) and nicky goes quiet SO QUICK KSJSKDKF. andrew's not Family Friendly but he definitely doesn't curse in english/express himself like he will in spanish (2nd language emotional things<3) and chat is FLOORED

this vid at (6:50-7:50) is drunk kev professing his love then saying "okay let's go :]" trying 2 get them all 2 cuddle and andreil are like  . Kevin We Are On Live Right Now. + from 3:00-6:50 is them describing each fox in one word and trying 2 match answers but kevneil start arguing about their answers and andrew purposefully says different ones to rile them up

when neil actually sticks around in a live - he's wearing a hoodie with the strings taut so it covers his face mostly. kev's passed out on andrew, andreil r bantering and flirting. andrew's like "i gotta go to the bathroom" and he just. hoists kevin up and puts him in neil's lap instead and NONE OF THEM BLINK and kev just curls a hand in neil's hoodie, looks up at him and hes like *squints* "ur hiding?" in a sleepy tone and neil's like ":] u don't like the look?" when andrew comes back he brushes neil's neck and all 3 of them keep casually talking LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED and chat is literally unreadable. it is going insane

in regards 2 ur post about lap sitting these 3 are EXACTLY like this tiktok. *caresses head* "can u stay for one game..." like !!!!!!!!!!!! i am gone i am deceased... it is them. kevin is the main lap stealer between them (imagining kev's 6'1 self curling into a ball 2 fit in the chair with either of them. sparks joy) and he is super clingy while andreil have little gestures like neil slinging his legs over andrew's on the couch. he sits upside down and andrew steadies him when neil starts to slide off. neil tries to go for a run at like 5am after staying up all night and andrew catches him in the kitchen, all bleary after a live and shoves him into a beanbag. (if he sits on top of him to make him stay and they have an intense mental conversation with unwavering eye contact then nobody's around to prove it)

at the end of the day (night? morning? what is time to them) they're tired and the walls and online personas are down. they stay up talking or sitting in silence, all squished together on a mattress or sprawled around the tv or listening to low music in the car.

and lastly, first kiss things:

[hungerpunch]

if a bruise hurts, press on it right?

8:37 AM · Aug 10, 2020

The worst thing in my life has happened. My dad died

1:11 AM · Aug 14, 2020

thank you everyone, you have all been so kind. i wish i had energy to reply but all i can do is cry and not sleep and arrange his funeral and clean out his apartment and cry. here are some beautiful photos of found of him and my mom in seattle

1:52 AM · Aug 15, 2020

my dad's family (who excommunicated us for 13 years) has made this terrible week so hellish and awful. they have bullied my family and been unhelpful and selfish and thoughtless.

tn i had a full blown panic attack after attempting to deal with them for several hours. now here i am the night before my dad's funeral, heartbroken, exhausted, and to top it off, incredibly nauseous bc of the stress they have caused.

i have not even had a spare 30 minutes to sit down and cry for my dad since i got home. nobody tells you how fast this moves, how much has to get done, that you can't even grieve until after the bloody funeral is over and done with.

i hate that i lost my dad but most of all i hate that I hadn't seen him since Christmas bc of covid and then it turns out we can't have open casket bc his body is not viewable so I will literally never see my dad again and having that taken away from me hurts so much

today i: wrote an obituary ($189 for just his name and 3 lines of text!), scanned 40 photos for a slideshow, moved his furniture out of his apartment and into a storage unit, called 3 credit card companies to close accounts and wrote my eulogy. and there is STILL more to do.

2:04 AM · Aug 15, 2020

i wish you all could be there w me tomorrow to face down his wretched family. i wish you could wreathe me like guardians and not let them even glimpse me much less utter words at me. i wish you all could be a shield and sword. i need so much strength. i cannot do this.

dad please watch over us tomorrow. Please protect me from their horrible judgment. Please be a wall of fire between me and their hateful gaze. Please reach down from heaven and touch my head and bring me calmness and the ability to get through this. I just want to honor you.

10:30 AM · Aug 17, 2020

all week long as i've heard new stories about my dad or met someone he knew, i've wanted to turn around and tell him. i keep forgetting i can't pass any of these loving messages or funny stories onto him. i hope he somehow knows.

we had a short hour-long public visitation for him (masks required) and a woman showed up & told us that when she was a 20 yo she had been crying in a courthouse w her baby, about to be evicted, and my dad saw her and represented her on the spot. got her three months' extension.

she said that three months changed everything and though they didn't keep in touch, she always remembered my dad's name. so when she saw the obituary she knew right away. i could not believe it. it was so fucking moving.

10:50 AM · Aug 19, 2020

first day back at work and trying to write professional emails to people and focus on things feels like the biggest joke of all time.

can i change my email address to mydadjustdied@imhavingabreakdown.com

2:55 PM · Aug 21, 2020

so far i've dealt w this by compartmentalizing every emotion deep down into my own personal void and uhh wearing my dad's tee shirts

don't want to admit how many days ive been wearing this one but it was one he wore so often and it still had the faintest bit of his smell on it. u can't tell but it's very fine blue stripes. blue was always the best color on him.

my favorite inherited possession

8:24 PM · Aug 21, 2020

It's just wild 2.5 weeks ago I had just decided what song my dad and I would dance to at my wedding and was getting ready to visit him and then he died before I could tell him or see him.

it would have been this btw. ik everyone roasts the beatles (which is fair) but some of my earliest memories are my dad singing me this song to soothe me to sleep as a child.

[nextstopparis]

for the character hcs, is it too much to ask all of the knights (& gwen)?

omg it is not too much AT ALL anon kjfskljfs THANKS FOR THIS!!! :DD i did one for elyan and gwen already, so i’ll do the rest of the knights:)

leon

sexuality headcanon: aroace leon FTW!!!!!

favourite ships: ive read leon/mithian in some fics which i can see the potential for:D

brotp: (w/...) ARTHUR!!!, GWEN!!!!!!!, merlin, obviously all the knights also i think leon and good!morgana wouldve made a formidable team:)

notp: anyone older than 50, i cant really think of any ships i cant stand with leon??

random headcanon: i think leon writes a lot of poetry in his spare time and i think all of his poems are like. genuinely really good. like i think he’s a REALLY good poet and writes about all sorts of things like sunlight or cozy winter nights or horses or whatever. i think he’s absolutely DELIGHTED when he thinks merlin is teaching arthur poetry and once sought arthur out to share a favourite poem of his with arthur. i also think arthur indulged him bc he felt bad for lying and so it became like. a Thing every week, in which leon would share a new poem. and then he inadvertently became arthurs poetry teacher. 

general opinion: I LOVE LEON!!!! i think i sometimes forget how much i love him, but once i read a fic where he died and i just. i learned that i absolutely Would Not be able to handle that, so. there u go kljsflkjs

***

lancelot

sexuality headcanon: i think lance is unlabeled. like i just dont think he’d label himself? 

favourite ships: ARLANCE, omg gwaine/lancelot would be the end of the world, gwencelot would be very fluffy. :)

brotp: (w/...) M E R L I N, GWAINE, PERCIVAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, gwen, arthur and the rest of the knights:)

notp: oof. um? no one really? besides s3+ morgana, and like. uther and gaius and the like lol

random headcanon: he once found an injured puppy (idk where/other logistics leave me alone) and took care of it/ nursed it back to health, and then literally could not leave it alone bc the puppy would follow him everywhere. i also think he got very attached to the puppy too and almost cried when he realized how large the puppy had gotten. i just think lance was some form of animal whisperer. with dogs, horses, cats. you name it. they all loved him and the dogs would sometimes knock him over bc they were so happy to see him:)

general opinion: lancelot is my favourite. i think it was a personal hate crime against me that he was in less than 10 episodes and i will never forgive the universe for it. i wish he would’ve stopped running& let gwen make her own decisions though

***

percival

sexuality headcanon: gay

favourite ships: PERCELYAN FTW!!!!!, and also perwaine

brotp: (w/...) LANCELOT!!!, arthur, gwen, merlin and the knights 

notp: gaius and uther and the like kfjslkjfs lol thats it though ig:)

random headcanon: i think he wanted children. i think he was very popular with any child he came across bc he is v tall and so he’d lift them all up and swoosh them around like they were flying. and he’d be very nice and gentle and just. that.

general opinion: ok. DONT HATE ME. i found percival a little bit boring. BUT like. i liked him? his character was kinda just. there. to me. sometimes.

***

gwaine

sexuality headcanon: PAN gWAiNE!!!

favourite ships: GWART, perwaine, ive seen gwaine/elyan and gwaine/elyan/percival and i would like to know more, also gwaine/lancelot would be the end of the world but i already said that kjdfskljfsl

brotp: (w/...) merlin, the knights, arthur, gwen (i wish we saw more interactions), i think him and s1-2!morgana would’ve been great friends and very terrifying together.  

notp: gwaine/morgana, him and eira, gaius and uther and the like sfijkj

random headcanon: i dont really remember his canon relationship with his sister, (IF HIM HAVING ONE IS EVEN CANON????) but id like to think that they exchange letters every once in a while where they insult each other a lot and the only reason he has a bit of a grudge against her is bc they made a bet once and he lost and she made him do a Very Embarrassing Thing That He Has Not Forgiven Her For And Never Will.

general opinion: i LOVE HIM. i wish we got more backstory on him. i simply think he deserves the world.

[six-of-ravens]

okay: top five books that you've read this year (2020); top five nanowrimo plots that you have written cuz you got a great backlog there;

heyyyyyy guuuuuuurl ;)

answers below the cut bc hoooooo boy this got long

top five books: thank u for specifying this year or i would’ve died on the spot lmao. i’ve only read 22 books and im already stressing:

5: When We Were Magic - Sarah Gailey: 6 teen girls with secret magic powers need to hide a body after one of them kills a guy during a botched attempt at prom night sexytimes. Hilarious, gory (side note i LOVE Gailey’s whole Thing about Magically Dividing People Down To Separate Parts, they did it in Magic for Liars too and i find it hilarious and unique and creepy), and all about That Power of Friendship. Hella gay, of course. 

4: The Fifth Season - N.K. Jemisin: fantasy novel set in a world with super maxed-out seismic activity, where epic volcanic eruptions and earthquakes are commonplace, and some people have the ability to cause/control/stop them, though they’re feared and reviled unless they work for this special government agency that controls them. Story is split between 3 perspectives: a mother searching for her daughter in the aftermath of a massive quake, a young woman working at that agency, and a child first being recruited. INSANELY good worldbuilding, super dark but absolutely brilliant. The ending BLEW MY MIND!!!! Jemisin is a goddamn genius. First in a trilogy but I haven’t read the rest yet.

3: The Refrigerator Monologues - Catherynne M. Valente: a novella set in this comic-book world filled with superheroes and villains, where various girlfriends who’ve been Fridged (one literally) tell their tales of woe at a coffee shop in Deadtown. Hilarious, witty, with a healthy dose of Valente’s over-the-top and out-of-the-box prose. A super fun exploration of the fridging trope and basically a direct callout @ Marvel and DC.

2: Upright Women Wanted - Sarah Gailey: a novella set in the futuristic wild west where librarians are engaged in an underground fight against the fascist regime. a girl runs away to join the librarians after her best friend/lover is killed, ends up embroiled in some awesome shenanigans. super SUPER gay. actual representation of the States in 50 years. Gailey is my hero.

1: Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered - Karen Kilgariff & Georgia Hardstark: a dual memoir by the hosts of My Favourite Murder. One of the only memoirs I’ve actually enjoyed lmao. Anecdotes from their lives that tie into funny quotes they’ve said on the show (though IMO you don’t need to have heard the podcast to enjoy it). It’s like when you’re at a family gathering and your drunk family members start pulling out the whack stories and you just slam your fourth rum and coke like “oh, fuck yes.” Georgia and Karen are the cool vodka aunts I never had and I love them endlessly for it.

top five nanowrimo ideas (thank u, u know i love screaming about these lmao)

5: The one I’m tossing around right now, loosely called the Mermaid/Fantasy Thing. There’s a palace with a mermaid living in the baths(?) and that’s all, folks! check back later when I actually work on this one and have more to offer. I kinda wanna make this a middle-grade story just so I can make the world really crystal-y and pastel and shit but also I can’t not swear so that Could Be Difficult. Maybe adults just need to embrace the She-Ra aesthetic a little more.

4: The Trash Wizard Chronicles. A series of short stories (nano rebel plan, if i ever get up the nerve to rebel) about this (trash) wizard named Tlin (yes that’s a slurring of Tam Lin but it’s a COOL NAME FIGHT ME) who’s banished from the Unseelie court and lives in the city in exile. Follows his escapades in providing wizardly services, balancing his human bank-teller cover with his magical life, and plotting to overthrow the Unseelie royal family while dodge efforts by the almost-worse Seelie court to recruit him. At least one of these is a murder mystery involving a witch who sees ghosts.

3: The steampunk one with the mad scientist who accidentally zaps herself into another world. She’s trying to find a cure for the illness that plagues her and do it before the bastard who left her for dead in the African jungle. Instead, she’s pulled into a medieval world deprived of magic because their supposed leader is a fraud (based off of The Gateway podcast talking about how the repulsive therapist Barbara Snow may have implanted memories of satanic cults in Teal Swan’s brain...mind-blowingly terrifying to hear about). This scientist has to journey with the rebels to depose this fake leader and find the real one before she can be magically sent back (or she can get struck by lightning.....she’ll try anything). Features the peasants from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Guinea Worm Angst, and a lot of Victorian cursing.

2: The one about the paranormal investigator and the thief. Started writing this on Wattpad last summer and gave up quickly because commitment is a bitch. Patricia (paranormal investigator) blackmails Kina (thief) info helping her solve a series of bizarre kidnappings after she catches her breaking into her apartment during some drunken shenanigans. A cute lighthearted lesbian romance. Features a stupid drunken injury, a park that never ends based off of my own terrifying experience of getting lost and walking in a circle for half an hour in Fish Creek last summer, and A Whole Lot Of Lying To The Cops

1: The one about an emo kid in 2009 who is sent to live on her aunt’s farm for the summer, where she meets the neighbours’ girl, who’s obsessed with the Romantics. Themes that discuss the romanticization of “bad” things (emo culture vs the Romantics) and when that can help and hurt (not my opinion, just thoughts). Lots of gardening because that’s my latest obsession. Maybe less Romantics than expected because I’ve just been reminded that i hate poetry! This started as an excuse to redownload every single emo song I ever heard and it remains that. Possible gay romance? Also possible unicorns. Definite goats that are definite assholes. Haven’t written this yet because I keep chickening out because the story won’t have any magic (unless I bend it and do some Moira Fowley-Doyle “was it magical realism or trauma-induced delusion” shit) and Who Am I Without Magic?

[vaguelygeiszlerian]

1 to 50

ok i just saw this existed, i live on tumblr mobile where i ignore the activity tab and scroll endlessly, bear w me

Animated character that was your gay awakening? uhhhhhhh,,,....,,,.. if i remembered anything abt my childhood i would tell u, im gonna say rukia from bleach because i want gorgeous short people to step on me

Grilled cheese or PB&J? peanut butter Always... tho if it was a fancy grilled cheese (there is a special preparation).... i would be torn

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? it really depends! i bounce around, i watch a lot of baumgartner restorations, i watch a LOT of nyx fears video essays on horror movies i would never watch, i watch longplays of, like, nier automata bc im still delighted by cryaotic?

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? i dont really get to order a lot of drinks at bars, itll depend, if im with friends ill order as many things off the cocktail menu as my money allows, if im with my parents ill order long island iced teas or whiskey and lemonade

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? i literally own like 3 pairs of shoes, one of which being the only pair i can actually safely wear haha.... but my favorite pair is the black red and gold converse that dont fit anymore but still remind me of high school

Top three cuisines? mexican, italian, whomever the fuck invented kasoundi

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? yeah as said above i have no clue about anything about my childhood so idk i think mum said once that my first proper word was just ‘no’ which sounds abt right

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? idk if my last job counts? i mean i used to do all round garden labor stuff until my pain got worse and i literally couldnt anymore so i got relegated to desk work

Look up. What’s directly across from you? oh a container of pesto i didnt like the flavour of and just... forgot to throw out.... i will do that tomorrow

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? i have a rwby poster signed by ray and jack? its p cool

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? preferred right now? wrapped in a metric fuckton of blankets w my partner

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? i..... dont like bagels

Brunch or midnight snacks? i live a weirdly scheduled life, midnight snacks and brunch are interchangeable to me now, so both

Favorite mug you own i..... dont really have one? all of my actual mugs that are mine have my deadname on them haha

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? overbrewed black coffee that someone left to go cold before dumping six packs of sugar in

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) ‘ And I don't want your pity I just want somebody near me ‘ bc we all love a bit of mitski when we are feeling the self isolation creeping in

Fruity or herbal teas? fruity teas only! or rather i drink fruit tisanes! but if you mean actual tea then herbal, i only drink peppermint tea

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? fruits basket! everyone watch the reboot

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? all the books i read for class sucked but medea wasnt so bad

Do you match your socks? only when theyre very fun patterned socks, and even then sometimes i will match them to the wrong pair but the same pattern, aka my double watermelon combo (i have a pair of green socks w watermelons and a pair of black socks w watermelons so)

Have you ever been horseback riding? no and i never will because i am fucking terrified of horses

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) uh.... uh i mean im not sure if it counts as a phase but i was stupid into vampires (to the point of me and my friends constructing the intricate theory that our teacher was a vampire and we had to kill her by the time we graduated (she was not and we did not and i hate all of those people now) i was just the weird conspiracy kid i guess, we used to spend every lunch staring across the oval at a house we were SURE an alien lived in (it was just a plastic bag being rustled by a fan)

Have you ever been to jail? bkdnbrb god no

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? im a lazy susan

Puzzles? i cant solve a rubiks cube but give me a 2000 piece jigsaw and ill sit there for 6 hours trying to solve it

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? oh this is tough..... orange juice, the fancy kind but with no bits in it, i used to like the bits but these days i just want a clean juice experience

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? ,,,,,,the ya fiction section, i never buy anything from there but i like to see if series i read as a teenager ever got new instalments after i stopped liking them

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? how to sleep like a normal person

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? uh, it depends! lizzo or my playlist of musicals! (which is literally just starkid/tcb stuff)

Where could someone find you in a museum? i could literally be anywhere, probably in front of some old piece though, just staring for an hour bc im struck by the majesty of it (and my legs probably locked up so i couldnt move anyway)

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? so i have a nice white button up and some really nice jeans i just got, and my suspenders, and my cool blue heels that i know i cant wear bc my legs cant handle walking in heels anymore, but it would look cool am i right

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? i look up at my roof which is almost entirely covered in glow in the dark stars and then stare into the camera (i wish every day that my roof was like the roof of the healthy harold van, i still have fucking dreams of that beautiful ceiling)

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? non traditional? id want a lizard that could curl round my shoulders like a leathery scarf

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? i dont have any photos on my wall so art by default

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? i just want the pensive emoji tattooed in the small of my back so if i wear a crop top everyone has to suffer with me

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with fuck superheroes they suck, can i hang out with jason todd red hood style

Lakes, rivers, or oceans? oceans, i want to go to the beach so fucking bad

Favorite mid-2000s song i dont really have a Big Favorite but like..... i constantly thank god for esteban

How do you dress when you’re home alone? ive been in the same sweatpants and old paint shirt i got from my painting and decorating course for three days

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? armchair closest to the kitchen, perfect to make a quick escape if dad comes in

Knives or swords? knives, i dont have the upper body strength for swords

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving? oh uh run away with me by crj, *bwoooooooo buhnuhnuuuuuu buhnuhnuuuuuhhh buhnuhnuuuuhhhhh*

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL BUT SPECIFICALLY ONLY CERTAIN PARTS FROM EACH OF THEM BC COLLECTIVELY THEY SUCK BUT PARTS OF THEM ARE PERFECT

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? no caption i dont want people to really acknowledge that i post things

Name a classic Vine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anQds9PQ7CA

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? hash browns hash browns hash browns ONLY

How do you top your ice cream? god its been so long since ive been able to eat ice cream.... with the reeses peanut butter ice cream shell topping

Do you like Jello? jelly is the pinnacle of our society and i wish i were eating it right now

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? i wish i had a picture of myself and my partner so i could set it as my phone lock screen (that or i wish i had a picture of me and a friend i really dearly miss bc i have pics of her in my phone but not of us together and i want some but i cant bring myself to say so)

How are you at climbing trees? theres a tree in my front yard i used to be able to hang off but nowadays i think id hurt myself just trying to lift my nasty meat sack off the ground trying

[catboyfeli]

Please tell me those smiley faces mean you are joking about that. Hard to read tone on the net, but I think, and hope, you are kidding to troll the new troll. If not, my worry meter is a little past 50 already but trying to remain calm in case you are kidding. Plz don't do it if you are not in fact kidding. I won't give you the old song and dance + confidence phrases, but I will say they just ain't worth it. Instead imagine them being flamed in the butt by Spyro or ate by a giant Pacman.

hey. sorry for freaking down

my ex friend of six years decided he hates me now because i have the wrong opinions, like yknow shipping incest and all that, and some other drama happened, but honestly just fuck him, thats not what really set me off, it just made it worse. on top of that, at that very moment i got his message, my account on quotev had been disabled and ip banned for no reason

turns out someone found my private rant account and reported me lmao. i said rping rape in private is ok and everyone was pissed. even tho it Literally Is okay and many csa victims use that to cope

they then proceeded to make fun of my stories on ao3 and just. people really love makin fun of depressed autistics that are actively suicidal just bc they have ~weird~ interests. i tag my incest ships for anyone whos uncomfortable with it so it’s hurting literally Nobody. i grew up in a conservative christian as hell family so god forbid i explore my sexuality via harmless fiction. also couldve been an incest victim as a child for all i know since i remember having a dream abt that when i was a kid lol

anyway! i was suicidal as hell, nearly self harmed, was planning on killing myself tonight, contemplated calling someone, but eventually decided to talk to my mom and she talked to me long enough for the mental breakdown to subside.

today has been hell. my bpd has reached its limits for today. i cannot grow any more numb. i need a nap and someone to cry on. thanks for caring btw.

when i feel better im totally writing something more fucked up out of spite. fiction is fiction and y’all are literal dictators getting people’s innocent accounts DELETED for having opinions u don’t like. antis are literally evil confirmed tho.

no hate comments on ao3 so far though. clearly im just too damn good for them to insult B) maybe i write weird shit but im damn good at it. y’all are just jealous i’m not in your fandoms.

yeah that last part is just an act. im dead inside. but im still writing ~bad~ stuff when i feel better out of pure spite.

also hey. lmk if you have any other social media. we should talk more. i might take a break from tumblr bc its Toxic so yeah

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 2 - Valiant

- ik for a fact that this one is the episode with the asshhoole. not bc i recognised it from the title but perhaps it was because i recognised it from the title u got me there

- i always go to mr clean too when i want protection, val, ur not alone

- yeah, this is harry potter l ma o

- the next thing u know theres a stone that makes arthur live forever and the snakes start joining into one and growing bigger until a phoenix (im dibbing on kilgie here), pops their corneas out

- DAMN DON'T KILL UR DEALER WHERE U GONNA GET THE NEW SHIT FROM NEXT TIME SMH VALIANT

- okay but who names their son valiant

- he was probably named valerie and didnt like it so he said “woah imma be valiant like courage, thats sick”

- that was probably his superhero persona as a child ngl

- no, shev, no respect for val stop doing this

- merlin in armour, what a fucking bLESiSNG GIVING ME THIS RIGHT ON THE SPOT BBC KNOWS WHATS GOOD

- ok a y but hear me out, merlins a servant. i have not seen any of these servants been asked to train with the royals??? like in the sense where it helps the servant train as well?? and the FIRST thing arthur does with merlin as his servant is train with him. not only is arthur a huge JOCK, he’s not using his manservant properly

- neverfuckingmind “most servants collapse after the first blow”, so it seems to be arthur likes to train with his servants. now that in itself is a question to be asked, but is he the only royal who trains with his servants??? how did this man survive on his own without a personal servant until merlin??? did he have a personal servant??? was it just regular servants?? who are those other servants he trained with??? did arthur just say hey lets go to the field in the morning, put on armour and let’s have a fun time?? UNLESS merlin literally just took someones job away from them kmao

- also my mind went right to the gutter guys, ngl, it sounded like an innuendo. it had me quaking i wish i was one of those servants

- “we all have our duties, even arthur” “it must be so tough for him, all the *hesitates* girl, all the glory”

- so we probably get at least 1 out of every 2 episodes where there’s a scene with merlin dressing arthur in his armour. bring the popcorn, lads.

- MORGANA LOOKING LIKE A FRICKEN SNACK

- the reigning champion is arthur, wonder fucking w h y

- valiant is in fucking mustard, while arthur is fucking ketchup idk why i thought of that but it happened. my literature teacher always told me to look for symbolisms. guess we found one guys.

- merlin after hating on arthur for the past episode is literally just cheering arthur on like a good husband he is

- did ARTHUR JUST SNICKER AT MERLINS “CREEP” LMAO DON'T TRY AND HIDE IT BY HUFFING AT HIM AFTERWARDS YOU FUCKING GOOF

- omg he hid it by telling merlin to do a full novel of chores

- AND MERLIN DOES IT WITH MAGIC A PAIR OF GOOFS

-  “are you using magic again” “no” merlin ffs he just saw you use magic, while the items fell and landed right in front of him while you didn’t move at aLL. they are nOT BLIND

- “very aggressive style” I MEAN SURE UTHER

- valerie be fuckboying morgana lmao with a “i saw you watching” and a, “then i will give everything to win the tournament”

- i wish this show was set in the early 2000s so i can see val in low sweatpants, a backwards cap with gelled spiky hair and cheap neon sunglasses (maybe even some gold teeth just for kicks), while hes trying to rap 50 cents or make a mixtape of brit pop songs. bc yes.

- honestly im loving my 2000 fuckboy au. gonna make an ao3 after this.

- of course merlin would be the one to find out the magic shit in valiants room, it just lures him. AND OF COURSE VALIANT IS THERE

- i'm so fucking glad arthur looks confused as to how merlin did what he asked. when u have this kind of hubby, arthur, its amazing what things he can do.

- i dont know why theres dramatic music as merlin put armour on arthur but im living for it

- “is it my imagination or are you beginning to enjoy yourself?” merlin doesn't know what to say to that bc he’s turning gay and doesn't know if that counts as enjoying oneself when the one you are gay for is the asshole prince

- typically enough, valiant and arthur never fight except for the finale. like with all conveniences in place, youd expect them to have at least fought at some point with as much knights as there to determine the final two but no, just the finale. k.

- this poor fucking purple knighted bloke didn’t need to be fucking demonstrated on, val. like you didn't need to kill him?? that could have blown ur cover

- DID NOBODY SEE THAT??? DID NOBODY SEE THE FUCKING SNAKES???

- oooh merlin found out what happened everyone gonna be fucked. nobody harms arthur is he has something to say about it

- if someone starts off a sentence with “i just saw someones snakes on their shield come alive” nobody would fucking believe you, merls. but given the fact that magic exist… mhh maybe it wouldn’t be too absurd. but ppl apparently are thick as hell

- “why were you in his chambers” well i know how id explain if i was in valiants chambers ;)

- jk i dont fall for this toxic shit

- imagine getting paid as an actor just just lie down there like this poisoned kid. “yeah, id like to audition for ewan’s role???” “why are you lying on the ground?”

- i hate those tropes where it's like “i know how to tell someones bad, here’s proof” and then nobody believes you and tells you you’re lying and should die or whatever but then you kNOW IT'S THE FUCKIN TRUTH BITCH that trope gives me damn anxiety >:((

- yes merlin, fucking slash the shield with your sword. i'm sure that's how it works. im sure it will kill the snakes.

- HOWA RE THE SNAKES ALIVE WITHOUT VAL SAYING “ISHNAHASHAHI”

- i think val would know that you cut off the snake’s head, merls, just saying. ur were the oNLY ONE.

- TELL ARTHUR WHAT??? “I CUT A SNAKE”

- EXACLTY ONG THAT'S WHAT MERLIN FUCKING SAID I WAS RIGHT LMAO

- ARTHUR BELEIVED HIM I'M FUCKING LIVING BUT IK WHAT HAPPENS AND AHH

- uhhh the anxiety is rolling up boys

- ewan is mcfuckingdead

- snake be sliding in like a hoe on a business

- bfehfjdjfskf i hate this part

- arthur's pride, merlin’s pride, fuck me

- i'm not even gonna write this part, it breaks my fragile heart when arthur sees the look of people not believing him, especially his dad, and merlin seeing how arthur doesn't trust him anymore like prepare the eulogies girlies

- okay but if arthur is struck and gaius has the antidote?? arthur aint gonna die technically

- but now val knows merlin knows

- AND MERLIN INTERVENES

- why are royals so bitchy towards servants. like they do their best to help you??? they are loyal to you and are paid there to serve you and are often very kind, generous, passive, understanding people??? yet merlin interrupts uther and he fucking sends him to the pit

- VAL YOU ASS LMAO DON'T HURT MY SON’S PRIDE

- he said allegations like four times, yes uther we know ur vocab is shining with intellect but seriously, there’s other synonyms that could still be acceptable and still sound fancy

- quick search on google bc my mind doesnt roll fast enough: claim, assertion, charge, accusation, declaration, statement, contention, deposition, argument, affirmation. see daddy uther, not hard to look up.

- forget they didnt have internet whoopsies

- :((( arthur doesn't trust merlin anymore

- the husbands FIGHT

- not just a banter petty fight, this is a huge fight

- SACKING MERLIN DON'T FUCKING SACK MERLIN YOU GOOF

- TRUST UR HUBBY

- FUCK

- I'M GONNA CRY AND IT'S ONLY EPISODE TWO

- I'M HAVING EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS CONCERNING MY TWO BOYS

- GUYS IM NOT OKAy

- its been 2 minutes after i wrote that last sentence, and i am now okay

- “a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole” iconic as hell. so many things could be said about that quote. either for innuendo purposes, love purposes, destiny purposes, how long it took me to say it right, just so many purposes man. it’s just iconic.

- merlin looks absolutely done with kilgaharama’s shit

- “just give me a straight answer” seems like kilgarass here is being too gay for merlin

- gwen already knows merlin’s the heroin of the series, saying everyone knows it's merlin who will save the day. but same tbh

- i dunno if this is like me or not but it says her nickname is gwyn in the subtitles but im typing it as gwen which i thought was how u wrote it, even if her full name is gwynevere but like gwen has a ring to it while gwyn sounds like gwin or smth and i dunno which one is right so ill just leave it alone ahjsjfk

- MORGANA HAS VISIONS WE ALREADY KNOW WHERE THIS GOES SHES MAGIC ISNT SHE HAHAHAHAUHD

- merlin trying one last time to convince his husband not to die, but at least this time arthur knows he’s up for val’s magic and is like “k iloveyou but i have to do this for the country not just bc of pride and thinking val is not magic”

- staring into the fire like he’s hoping it would suck him up into the void, not only is merlin a now confirmed emo, so is fucking arthur it seems. perfect for one another i'm telling you

- eerie music as morgana enters… wha suddenly i can't read

- i thought at first morgana and arthur were gonna end up together cause of the fucking weird tension going on and i was prepared to be disfuckinggusted but no! the show and producers actually put my expectations away and helped me see that it wasn’t going in that direction! thank fucking god! 

- k but arthur looks majestic in his gear im just a huge bi

- “don’t go into my room” he says then gaius peaks in and almost gets mauled by a large chihuahua

- me too val, id step on someone's toes then fuck them up with an undercut. thats the bad bitch way to go. unless it for arthur, then val hahaha you can go fuck yourself

- no one sees mErLin??

- but they now see the snakes smh fakes

- “what are you doing? i didn't summon you” i don't think that will work val cause you didn't say it with a serpent tongue, it has to sound more like “shhashhwhat ahhssare hiisssyou iisshhaadoing?”

- okay but i thought arthur was impaled for a half second until he started to talk then i screamed that he was aight and he would now believe merlin

- uther better give merlin an apology

- arthur just said he wouldnt

- but still uther BETTER APOLOGISE TO FUCKING MERLIN

- “yknow i wish valiant was escorting me” “me too” i thought for a fricken moment arthur wished valiant would have escorted HIM. i'm dying.OMG

- “i wanted to say i made a mistake. it was unfair to sack you.” “don’t worry about it. buy me a drink and we’ll call it even.” DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU JUST SAID MERLIN YOU SLY DOG OMG

- “i can’t really be seen to be buying drinks for my servant.” so if he wasn’t ur servant?? you’d say yes?? they are so fucking gay i can't anymore

- yeah, i literally fucking can't

[hogsteeth-archive]

alright then i answered one of them oc questions things for both versions of ira bc like. why wouldnt i. first answer is 1976 58y/o rhodesian ira, second answer is 201x 16y/o houstonian ira. i just wanted to figure out how different they really are. questions from here. if readmores still dont work on mobile im sorry lmao

what are some things they have strong opinions about?

he has sort of a cioranian attitude to the value of life, like, hes one of them “theres always reason to kill a man, theres no way to justify his living” types. he doesnt believe in nationalism per se but he does believe in war, hes literally a mercenary, and hed probably get along just fine with someone like mike hoare, but hes not one for unnecessary cruelty. hes kind to who he considers innocent. if he was alive today i can see him getting grouped w/ like, anti-natalists, right-wing “primitivists,” people who browse /fo/, people who think theyll thrive in the post-apocalypse even though they cant even spin yarn, people who dont understand fallout, you know, those types, but i like to think his attitude wrt civ is closer to perlmans or, well, mine. its a good thing he doesnt live in internet times. he thinks technology makes people complacent and weak and hes fallen into the trap of the “noble savage” myth; sign of the times. he could just as easily live off the grid in like, alberta, but he chose to stay in southern africa bc of his colonial attitudes & fetishization of the “less developed.” (sidenote, if youre like, new here n reading this for some reason, yea i write like really really bad characters were talking irredeemably evil here, just like, know that im aware of that.) also he detests hippies for both bad and good reasons ⸻ not much, really, hes an opportunist, a hedonist, hes selfish, goes w/ the flow. he thinks denying yourself pleasure for no reason is microfascism — not in those words — and while he doesnt think that selfishness leads to a bettering of overall society, hes no randian, he feels justified in what he does. hes uh, a mercenary in spirit and ive always intended to have him join the marines n later work for a pmc but were nowhere near there yet

what traits do they like in other people? what traits do they not like?

he likes people (men, that is) that are exactly like him. he likes Narrator bc hes just as quiet, as patient, as stubborn, as antisocial (using that the right way here, i like, know about psychology), as violent, as old-timey-ly masculine as he is. he can tolerate clade (his former accountant) bc she keeps to herself and shes loyal to a fault, but he doesnt go out of his way to like, actually talk to her. he likes will bc he reminds him of what he was like as a child living with his matabele mother. ⸻ he hates everything he perceives as weakness, but hes not all that open about that, i think hes not even 100% aware thats what it is. he needs to be talked back to. he lacks compassion, doesnt know how to deal w/ anyone whos less resilient and abrasive than himself.

do they have a significant other? if so, who?

i mean, theres Narrator — thats kinda what this whole thing is about. but theyll never think of each other that way. its complicated. theyre uh… closer to being marlow and kurtz than to being boyfriends. idk how to explain it. its bad. ⸻ hes fake-dating millah for appearances and secretly seeing jack, im not sure about the details either so im not getting into that, but hes eventually gonna meet will; ive written their first encounter like ten different ways and i still dont really know what i wanna do w/ them........ also Complicated

whats their friend group like? what role do they play (leader, mom friend, etc.)?

he lives in a hut he built w/ his bare hands on the edge of the kalahari. his friends are one horse and one vaalboskat. ⸻ he uses his friends but they use him too. hes reasonably popular bc hes athletic n wealthy, but i think the only one of his friends who really truly sees thru his act is millah, and bc he doesnt take her seriously as a threat, she has more control over him than he realizes.

do they care about their physical appearance? whats their routine like?

nah ⸻ not really. he showers too often and his hairs kinda dry but other than that hes like. Normal. idk i dont care about these things

do they have any physical or mental disabilities?

i dont think so ⸻ he has adhd

what would they die for? kill for?

oh hes not picky. he joined the military at 17, hes made peace w/ the prospect of dying. hes been more uncomfortable w/ the thought of growing old, actually. and again, hes literally a mercenary. not a big deal to him. ⸻ i dont think hes selfless enough to die for anyone. hed kill to protect the people he cares about, but thats more just bc hes possessive. im sure thats gonna come up eventually. i cant really write shit w/o weaving murder in somewhere.

do they have any magical powers or abilities? if its a realistic world, what religion do they follow?

absolutely the fuck not i hate magic. hes not religious, actually feels a little intimidated by religion. in one version of his story he spends his 50s on east nusa tenggara where he doesnt live far from a church, and he makes peace w/ the concept of god thanks to the influence of catholic-raised Narrator, but i doubt hell ever actually step foot into a church, or temple, or mosque, or what-have-you. hes internalized some things during his upbringing though that he doesnt classify as religious. little superstitions. he likes to keep objects that may be used for divination around his house, but he never touches them. ⸻ not religious, but if he had to pick, like to pretend, hed say baptist.

do they celebrate any holidays? how do they celebrate?

nah ⸻ like, the regular american ones. hell welcome any excuse to drink and to socialize, and id say his favorite holiday is the 4th of july, really just bc he likes warm weather and theres not a lot else you can celebrate in the middle of summer. hes not attached to the significance of any holidays. hes not crazy about christmas but he likes his family well enough and hell go along w/ it all, just to have sth to do. hes not good w/ time off.

if they were the protagonist in any book series, what series would they choose? alternatively: what would be their favorite book?

he doesnt really read but hed feel right at home inside heart of darkness or maybe the thin red line. or maybe sth by mccarthy ⸻ hes 16 he hasnt read jack shit. i wanna say deleuze would probably resonate w/ him bc hes a total self-insert but i really dont know. i try to keep the intertextuality way low bc i hate that shit in most fiction, so like, i try not to think too much about other books here

do they have any vices?

uh he drinks and he occasionally smokes opium but compared to most of my characters hes pretty okay wrt that ⸻ yea like… all of them. already said hes a hedonist make of that what u will

do they play any instruments?

nope ⸻ violin but he hasnt been practicing a lot lately

what would their favorite ride at an amusement park be?

hes never been to one ⸻ i feel like hed be into sth really lame… like you know that video by jenny nicholson, top ten lame things to do at disney world? sth like that. like hed go just to get a specific food item or to admire the infrastructure

what animal would they say best represents them?

hyena 100%. the spotted kind. id say tortoise also but hed find that insulting ⸻ id say hyena but hed be reluctant to answer that bc hes a Youth and he knows what a furry is

how do they act when theyre drunk?

vulnerable. little more talkative. he talks to himself (or the cat, rather) sometimes ⸻ more abrasive/tactless/impulsive. he talks w/ his whole body and feels like moving/running bc, again, self-insert

which era of history would they most like to live in?

the old west, like early to mid-19th century, maybe late 18th. that or like the really olden days, like mid-paleolithic ⸻ idk maybe like ten or twenty years earlier. i think he fits the 21st century pretty well. hes a curious person though and if he had a time machine hed go Everywhere at least once

whats their favorite food?

ah thats. complicated actually i have a whole list of foods that remind me of Narrator but ive never gotten around to making one for ira. hm. he likes poultry, like ostrich. white fish. dry/salty foods. sour fruit. breadfruit. fatty dark meats, blood sausage. hes not picky though, hell live on pap and water if he has to. ⸻ i genuinely dont know. im not used to the contemporary western setting yet like… pop tarts exist in the same world as he does and im not comfortable w/ that yet. like, branded food articles wrapped in plastic. thats so weird to me. i guess he likes (american) pizza w/ greens on it, like spinach? and seafood. sour candies, maybe, i dont think he has much of a sweet tooth. he puts salt n butter on potatoes and cottage cheese on pancakes.

what songs remind you of them?

conveniently theres a whole playlist rite here

whats their favorite season and why?

dry season. he doesnt like cloudy/foggy weather bc it makes him feel trapped when he cant see as far. ⸻ summer. i honest to god think people liking cold weather is a conspiracy like im not sure thats even biologically possible. like summer is the obvious answer here

which d&d class would they play as?

nah we dont do nerd shit round these parts

whats their favorite expletive?

he like, barely talks ⸻ nothin weird thats for sure, we campaign for simple straight-forward language in this house. having a Favorite is inherently at odds w/ that. bad question

whats their favorite candle scent?

no scented candles in the desert ⸻ sth fruity but not sweet, like mixed berries, sth red or purple

how do they feel about death?

he doesnt ⸻ hed feel cheated by life if he died young. he has a lot to see and do and itd like, bum him out not to get to do that but hes not afraid of death

do they collect anything? whats their most prized possession?

he lives pretty austerely but he does keep little rocks and gems and bones and pieces of wood n such. also coins from all the countries hes been to bc hes a simple old man. i wanna say his most prized possession is his hogs tooth bc he does value the marines a lot still. its where he first met Narrator :-) ⸻ he really appreciates gifts people give him, things that remind him of people. jack carved him an eagle once

do they play any sports?

no ⸻ nothing too organized. i dont think hes on any school teams bc idk if he has the time but that might change. he does run/hunt/fish/shoot

what one place do they really want to visit and why?

he likes deserts, wide open spaces. hes been to the kalahari n namib but not the gobi/sahara/simpson etc, so, those. no ice deserts though those scare him ⸻ polynesia/southeast asia, just tropical places in general. bc theyre nice what do you want me to tell you. tropics good

what languages do they speak?

northern ndebele, afrikaans, english (w/ various influences), some vietnamese ⸻ english, some cajun french, some spanish

what are some items they always carry? what weapon do they favor using if they exist in a world where weapons are necessary?

hes got his fal obviously and he does always carry a knife, just to be safe. more out of habit than actual necessity (not to imply rural areas were safe in the late 70s, but he lives in the literal wilderness, hes not much of a target. stays away from roads and all that.) ⸻ man hes really not as classy as i want him to be :/ he probably has like, a glock 17 w/ ten thousand pointless modifications n some uglyass stipling pattern. hes a little bit paranoid + irresponsible n carries all kinds of shit he doesnt need, mostly way too much cash

which emoji would they use the most?

no ⸻ he doesnt have a phone, hell maybe use a burner if he has to. this is an anti-phone household

what fantasy race would they be? if they already are one, pick a different one.

absolutely not

do they want to start a family? if they already have one, describe it.

no ⸻ no

what stereotypical high school clique would they fit into?

hed swing between the jrotc kids n the stoners honestly, but still mostly keep to himself ⸻ hes like, too much of a jock for the Delinquents, too much of a Delinquent for the jocks. hes really only popular bc hes rich-ish n blessed w/ good looks, and by association w/ millah

whats one thing that they dont need do they waste the most money on?

he doesnt ⸻ everything. hes really wasteful. he buys more food than he can eat, clothes he never wears, etc etc, hes terrible

what kind of shoes do they wear?

combat boots or just traditional sandals. the terrain around his house is mostly grass and flat boulders so he goes barefoot a lot ⸻ regular tennis shoes, nothin too fashionable bc he cant be bothered to keep up w/ trends, but usually clean n new. hiking boots when hes not w/ his regular friend group

do they believe in ghosts, aliens, and the occult in general?

really dont like how aliens are always grouped in w/ esoteric shit bc like, thats like asking if you believe in atoms honestly. no shit “aliens” exist thats like not up for debate. both iræ would agree w/ me here. 70s ira doesnt believe in like, Ghosts per se, but he has some vague concept of spirits that he got from his mother. he sees/feels them when hes half asleep. ⸻ 2010s ira doesnt believe in jack shit

which deadly sin do they most correspond to? which heavenly virtue?

nooo cardinal sins dont work that way theyre not hogwarts houses. its so much more complicated than that thats impossible

if you had to choose one tarot card to represent them, what would it be?

hmmm four of swords? knight of coins? eight of cups? this is hard ⸻ seven of swords? nine of cups? the devil? i dont know

what do they consider to be their best quality? what actually is their best quality?

his strength, which is really just his callousness and lack of convictions. and uh. i guess his independence ⸻ same here for the first part. and. maybe his loyalty? i dont consider loyalty a good thing personally idk

what do they consider to be their worst quality? what actually is their worst quality?

his lack of social skills maybe? he doesnt need them too often of course but like, the first time Narrator showed up at his doorstep he was genuinely nervous and that did fill him w/ some semblance of shame and in his eyes he should be good at everything, so like. that. really its his lack of conviction and his timidness/avoidance of the world ⸻ his dependence on others/lack of discipline. really its his lack of compassion, like, obviously

[sorikkung]

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ soft bias tag

stolen not tagged bc im a fucking pleb who doesnt get tagged in shit ripppp LONG POST WARNING IM SORRY MOBILE USERS

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 1. WHO IS YOUR BIAS?

i really can’t choose between got7′s bambam and stray kids’ felix bc both are my ults so fuck the system i’m gonna do this as a poly au bc the world needs more poly shit and felix and bambam would be such a good pair

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 2. WHAT MADE YOU NOTICE THEM?

i noticed bambam first, technically i first glanced him in girls girls girls bc i was anime trash before i was kpop trash and he rEALLY looked like nishinoya from haikyuu so i called him nishinoya and thought he’d just be a first glance bias, until i saw a compilation of got7s dumbest moments and most of them were jackbam and i saw two specific clips that i recall, the one where they had to do the ugly dance of gggs outside the jyp building and bambam literally spazzed on the floor?? and the iconic how do you know im not big moment. i looked at him and went “tHAT ONE. THAT ONE, I WANT THE TRASH CHILD.” been in love ever since.

felix singlehandedly got me to stan stray kids, i first glanced changbin in hellevator then highkey forgot abt them as the show aired. then my friend sent me this clip of felix’s verse in grr from the live stage bc at this point the album hadnt even dropped yet. i was shook to the next dimension from his deep ass voice and his growling and i wanted to hear more so i watched the show and only fell in love with him more.

i betcha if this poly were to happen felix would see bambam dabbing and go “OMG IM NOT THE ONLY ONE STILL DABBING IN 2K18″ and bambam would see felix dabbing and be like “OMG HES CONTINUING MY LEGACY” and they’d hit it off from there

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 3. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM?

for both of them, i love how they’re both absolute crackheads. like they’re actually so stupid and what the fuck is going through their heads???? they make me smile like and idiot and laugh like no other so of course i love them. plus they have this adorable sweet side to them apart from them being memes and its so heartwarming to see that soft side come out, it makes them so much more of a three dimensional character cause there’s all these sides to them and they’re like so hardworking too and did i mention handsome? plus their love for their members ugh i could go on!!!

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 4. WHO WOULD INITIATE SKINSHIP MORE?

tough call bc im a HOE for affection and skinship but id honestly be too afraid to make them uncomfortable/be too clingy that they’d get annoyed at me so at first it would probably be felix bc lets be real. he comes from stray kids. have you seen bang chan? they bring skinship to a new level. once we all get settled in tho, i bet the three of us would be physically inseperable.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 5. WHO WOULD HOG BLANKETS MORE?

literally all of us. i always end up biasing ppl similar to me sigh we’d be so fucking wild. i betcha that would be the one thing we have regular fights over. who hogged the blanket this time???

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 6. WHO WOULD BE MORE CLINGY?

felix. as mentioned in the initiate skinship, hes really clingy. then it would be me bc i am too. but thats not to say bambam isnt clingy, he’d be super clingy too but me and felix would bring it up a notch.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 7. WHO WOULD SAY ‘I LOVE YOU’ FIRST?

m e. i’d just let it slip out after they do some dumb shit and id just go “wow youre such a fucking dumb dork i actually love you” and then have an o shit moment.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 8. WHO WOULD BE MORE EASILY FLUSTERED?

M E bc bambam is a smOOTH motherfucker and felix is an affectionate motherfucker and i am w e a k although i feel like they’d be easily flustered if they were teased, which i would do, but i think i’d be flustered the most.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 9. WHAT CUDDLING POSITION WOULD YOU TWO HAVE?

i wanna be sandwiched inbetween them bc im shorter than both of them lmaoo. but i bet we’d all bicker of who’s turn it is to be in the middle. another one would be when sitting on the couch, and we’d sit in eachothers laps in height order. itll work somehow.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 10. WHICH COLORS REMIND YOU OF THEM AND WHY?

bambam makes me think of black, white, red, and purple. black and white is bc his fashion sense is like modern and chic and those were also his most iconic hair colours. red because of his signature eyeshadow. purple just seems like a colour that would suit him, it’s royal and elegant but also homey and familiar?? but tbh he can make any colour his bitch.

felix is yellow, gold, orange, and brown, bc theyre warm colours like him!! the brighter colours are bc hes bright like the sun and the browns when its a more chill day, and its all down to earth and just feels like home.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 12. WHICH SEASON WOULD YOU LIKE TO SPEND WITH THEM?

ooft tough one...spring so i can spend my birthday with them (cause in AUSTRALIA spring is in september to november) and its cold at the start so we can have snuggle dates, and its hot at the end so we can go to beaches and have water fights and stuff!! and in the middle its perfect weather for nice strolls.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 13. WHO WOULD BAKE THE COOKIES AND WHO WOULD STEAL THE BATTER?

bambam can cook apparently and he likes being aesthetic af so he’d be trying his best to make the most bomb ass cookies, and then felix i bet is a disaster in the kitchen so i bet both of us will be stealing the batter while not helping at all and bams will be like “thanks for nothing you guys” and once realising that we weren’t gonna stop he’d turn on us and throw flour at us or something. foodfight!!

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 14. WHICH ONE OF YOU WOULD MAKE BAD PUNS AND HOW WOULD THE OTHER REACT?

i am a hoe for bad puns it would totally be me all the time. bambam would look so disappointed in me and felix would just burst out laughing with me, and bambam would crack bc how can he stay mad?? if it was an inside joke or a reference to smth and not some random pun, bams would be the first to lose it tho.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 15. WHO WOULD WANT TO ADOPT 50 DOGS AND CATS?

me and bambam!!!! bambam already has like 3 cats and id be like ok lets get three MORE and MORE and felix is like “but im a dog person :(((” (at a fansign he said he was rip) so id be like well dogs are great as well lets get fifty of those too!!!

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 16. WHICH ONE OF YOU WOULD NEARLY BURN DOWN THE KITCHEN TRYING TO MICROWAVE A POP TART AND WHO WOULD COME TO THE RESCUE?

i wouldn’t be fucked microwaving poptarts (although id probably burn down the kitchen trying to cook eggs or smth but this is about poptarts so its not be this time.) so it would probably be felix and then i’d come to the rescue bc i have fire safety training from scouts.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 17. WHO LIKES TO LEAN OVER TALL RAILINGS AND WHO PULLS THEM BACK?

bambam and i would lean over the tall railings and felix would pull us back bc as seen in the amusement park episode of the 9th, hes a pussy lmfAO he’d have a mini heart attack

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 18. WHAT WOULD WATCHING A HORROR FILM WITH THEM BE LIKE?

bambam would act all tough and felix would be like “o shit pls no” and both of them would scream at the jumpscares and cling to eachother or me, whoever’s closest. i’d probably sit there and laugh and tease them for being a baby bc horror movies aint shit with me. but the rare occassion i do get scared, i’d lose my shit and they’d never let me hear the end of it. “whos the baby now huh??”

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 19. WHO WOULD BE THE CHEESY FLIRT AND WHO WOULD BE THE SMOOTH FLIRT?

bambam is definitely the smooth flirt but he can be cheesy as well?? like he’d be smooth at times and smooth and cheesy other times. felix would be plain cheesy but sometimes he’d be smooth. same with me, i’d be a bit of both?? maybe slightly more smooth idk

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 20. WHO IS MORE COMPETITIVE? felix i feel like would be competitive in the moment but calms down quickly, bambam would be SUPER competitive and be a little petty afterwards if he lost or smug af if he won but after a while he’ll cool down as well, i’m probably the most competitive and most likely to hold a grudge or to rub it in their faces the longest lol.

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 21. WHO WOULD HAVE TO BE GIVEN CONSTANT REMINDERS? (REMEMBER TO EAT, DON’T FORGET YOUR KEYS, ETC) idk...? all of us love to eat so i dont think taking care of ourselves will be forgotten, but i tend to lose things so maybe me being reminded idk???

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 22. WHO SENDS MEMES AND WHO SENDS CUTE ‘I MISS YOU’ TEXTS AT 3AM?

ALL OF US! we’d have a group chat and see who could stay up until 4:20 to send dumb memes but if we get too tired earlier we’d sign out with some sappy message idk it would be a total wildcard whether the late night messages would be cute and sweet or straight up memes. i feel like a lot of the time it would be both, like starting off with some cute thing and ending it anticlimactically with a meme bc we’re dorks like that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

did i ever tell u poly!bamlix is all i ever needed in life??? thank you for your time i tag @just-oneofthegays and @neo-urban annd @bqngtqn <3

[jxkewxrd]

200 Things About Me

200: My crush’s name is: John. (Fischer) @fxscher
199: I was born in: 1999
198: I am really: fucking fun 
197: My cellphone company is: Verizon
196: My eye color is: Brown
195: My shoe size is: depends on brand. Nike: 15 Adidas: 14 
194: My ring size is: idfk lol
193: My height is: 6’ 2’’
192: I am allergic to: poison ivy 
191: My 1st car was: 2001 toyota camery
190: My 1st job was: Dishwasher at a Buffett Restaurant 
189: Last book you read: The Soloist 
188: My bed is: comfortable 
187: My pet: my dog, Harlee
186: My best friend: @fxscher also my boyfriend
185: My favorite shampoo is: well my mom does hair so idk
184: Xbox or ps3: Xbox all the way
183: Piggy banks are: overrated 
182: In my pockets: are black holes
181: On my calendar: blank months
180: Marriage is: a huge goal of mine and im so excited for it
179: Spongebob can: run me over in his boat and i would thank him 
178: My mom: is the best in the world even tho we have many disagreements. Love her
177: The last three songs I bought were? None bitch tf i have spotify premium 
176: Last YouTube video watched: uhm for sure the music video for camp rock “we cant back down” 
175: How many cousins do you have? Bitch i don’t know, a lot
174: Do you have any siblings? Twin brother. Little brother. Little sister. 
173: Are your parents divorced? Nope
172: Are you taller than your mom? For sure
171: Do you play an instrument? Do i look like a band/orchestra kid lmaoo
170: What did you do yesterday? I don’t even remember what I did 20 min ago stop

[ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight: of course
168: Luck: yes
167: Fate: yes
166: Yourself: uh yes bitch
165: Aliens: universe is too small to not believe
164: Heaven: YES
163: Hell: Eh
162: God: OF COURSE 
161: Horoscopes: yes
160: Soul mates: yes
159: Ghosts: yes
158: Gay Marriage: im gay so yes hoe
157: War: uh yeah 
156: Orbs: yes
155: Magic: yes duh

[ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses: both bitch
153: Drunk or High: why not BOTH 
152: Phone or Online: online
151: Red heads or Black haired: neither lmao
150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes but im gay so
149: Hot or cold: bitch. Hot for sure but christmas isnt christmas without cold weather 
148: Summer or winter: summer
147: Autumn or Spring: here in ohio we call it “fall”
146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 
145: Night or Day: both
144: Oranges or Apples: apples
143: Curly or Straight hair: dont care
142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdicks bitch
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: is that racist😉 jk but forsure white chocolate 
140: Mac or PC: MAC
139: Flip flops or high heals: neither lmao
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: how and RICH AND SWEET fuck the sterotype 
137: Coke or Pepsi: COKE-aine 
136: Hillary or Obama: obama lol
135: Burried or cremated: uhm idk idrc i lowkey wanna be cremated and thrown in the ground with some tree seeds 
134: Singing or Dancing: both
133: Coach or Chanel: chanel
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are they
131: Small town or Big city: big city
130: Wal-Mart or Target: target
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: neither
128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk
127: East Coast or West Coast: west coast for sure 
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: dont care enough
125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers i dont need to be happy AND fat
124: Disney or Six Flags: havent been to either
123: Yankees or Red Sox: this is tumblr we dont care about sports on here

[ Here’s What I Think About ]
122: War: i dont care #MakeAmericaGreatAgain
121: George Bush: fuck u
120: Gay Marriage: yes bitch we do what we want
119: The presidential election: i love donald trump
118: Abortion: under certain circumstances should it be okay. If you’re doing it bc you fucked up, that child doesnt deserve to not have a life because of your poor choices sorry
117: MySpace: dumb
116: Reality TV: love it
115: Parents: love them but back tf off
114: Back stabbers: i’ll fucking ruin your life 
113: Ebay: what
112: Facebook: hi
111: Work: love my job so much
110: My Neighbors: ok this bitch who lives next to us is psycho and wants to literally BE my mom i feel like im in an LMN movie sometimes
109: Gas Prices: fucking really dude like go back to the way they were before the hurricanes 
108: Designer Clothes: LOVE LOVE LOVE
107: College: I love it so much can’g wait to graduate 
106: Sports: dumb
105: My family: love them
104: The future: ony God knows, he has a plan for me

[ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone: idfk
102: Last time you ate: like 2 hrs ago
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: today
100: Cried in front of someone: months
99: Went to a movie theater: months
98: Took a vacation: June
97: Swam in a pool: August 
96: Changed a diaper: never
95: Got my nails done: never
94: Went to a wedding: years ago
93: Broke a bone: never
92: Got a peircing: never
91: Broke the law: idk today i guess when i went 60 in a 35
90: Texted: hour ago

[ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most: my dog bruh and my boyfriend and sometimes cece😉
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my dog and my mom
87: The last movie I saw: Norma Rae
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: a future with my boyfriend
85: The thing im not looking forward to: being poor when im out of college
84: People call me: gay
83: The most difficult thing to do is: ignore the negativity 
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope
81: My zodiac sign is: taurus
80: The first person i talked to today was: john
79: First time you had a crush: bitch i used to be heartless 
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: john or gabby 
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: lost brain cells thinking about this
76: Right now I am talking to: no one
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: own my own coffee franchise or ya know get rocognized for something dumb and get famous 
74: I have/will get a job: yes i work at subway
73: Tomorrow: i work
72: Today: i worked
71: Next Summer: im gonna work
70: Next Weekend: im gonna work
69: I have these pets: dog
68: The worst sound in the world: dfc
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: not one person has made me cry in 5 years
66: People that make you happy: my boy
65: Last time I cried: like 5 min ago bc tears of happiness thru music
64: My friends are: the best i’ll ever have
63: My computer is: if only i had one
62: My School: Mount St. Joseph University 
61: My Car: needs a little work
60: I lose all respect for people who: are rude af
59: The movie I cried at was: too many
58: Your hair color is: brown
57: TV shows you watch: usually pretty little liars
56: Favorite web site: 😉
55: Your dream vacation: sicily, italy 
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when i wanted to kill myself for like 5 years
53: How do you like your steak cooked: idk 
52: My room is: simple, classy n cozy
51: My favorite celebrity is: like really idk
50: Where would you like to be: sleeping
49: Do you want children: maybe
48: Ever been in love: yes
47: Who’s your best friend: my bf and gabby and cece
46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: eating healthy and drinking coffee
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: my boy
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: ya
41: Have you pre-named your children: ya
40: Last person I got mad at: the person who accused my bf of sexual assault 
39: I would like to move to: a beach
38: I wish I was a professional: in BUSINESS

[ My Favorites ]
37: Candy: ew
36: Vehicle: blacked out range rover
35: President: Donald Trump
34: State visited: Florida
33: Cellphone provider: verizon
32: Athlete:dc
31: Actor: dc
30: Actress: dc
29: Singer: Cardi B, Post Malone, Halsey, Migos god damn so many
28: Band: dc
27: Clothing store: anything name brand
26: Grocery store: kroger hoe
25: TV show: pretty little liars
24: Movie: the hunger games movies
23: Website: hmm
22: Animal: idk
21: Theme park: kings island
20: Holiday: halloween/xmas
19: Sport to watch: nope
18: Sport to play: volleyball
17: Magazine: idk
16: Book: Looking for Alaska
15: Day of the week: saturday
14: Beach: yes yes yes yes, santa rosa 
13: Concert attended: lana del ey
12: Thing to cook: anything 
11: Food: i love all food fwm
10: Restaurant: skyline
9: Radio station: idk
8: Yankee candle scent: anything seasonal
7: Perfume: idk
6: Flower: idk
5: Color: blue
4: Talk show host: i dont know do i look 50
3: Comedian: idk
2: Dog breed: german shepard 
1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yes bitch

[astrofireworks]

ok listen i’m working in a radiography clinic over the summer and last week the most beautiful doctor came in and immediately my mind went to doctor!Eunwoo and i broke down today at @nataliekaytbh​ so buddy thank u for crying w me today over Eunwoo 

are you ready 

because i’m sure as hell not 

i’ll be crying over doctor!Eunwoo this whole summer 

intern Sanha

relegated to the registration counter

meaning that when patients come into the radiographer's he takes their name and phone number and puts it into the system and gives them a waiting number

also meaning that when five patients arrive all at once he's up to his eyes in names and numbers and trying not to go cross eyed my poor child

here to make money not to learn so he doesn't mind doing registration and being busy anyway

highkey me

nurse Jinjin

reads out said waiting number and then brings patients into the x-ray room

and has to confirm they're not pregnant or anything that makes them unable to be exposed to X-rays and stuff in general

also helps sanha do registration sometimes when the queue gets a bit too long

radiographer Bin

most of the time sleepily mans the x-ray machines

sometimes the patients ask him if their x-rays are okay or if there's anything wrong with them

what the hell

Bin's not a doctor he wouldn't know

And so tells them that

And gets whacked on the head by nurse Jinjin who comes to escort out the mildly shocked patients with a forced polite smile on his face @ the patient & a glare @ Bin

Shakes his fist indignantly at Jinjin when he leaves

Lab tech MJ

has the lab right next to the radiographer's clinic

Usually collects blood samples from patients

is very good with needles

is also very good at laUGHING and telling jokes in order to make people forget they're here to get blood sucked out of their souls with a giant needle

sometimes laughs really loudly and makes the radiographer clinic patients wonder what's going on

sometimes makes jinjin wonder what's going on too  

not that he gets jealous or anything

not at all

coughs

Nurse rocky

Eunwoo's runner, mostly

Sometimes for the urgent cases that need to be processed immediately rocky doesn't wait for the computer system (which takes centuries) to receive the x-ray

He goes down immediately to bin's and asks whoever's at the registration desk to print it out

i.e, Sanha

i.e., the intern without the password to access x-rays

which means he has to go to jinjin or bin for them

after which he hand-delivers them to Dr. Eunwoo

a lot of staff now know Rocky by name simply because he's always running up and down from Eunwoo's clinic to different departments trying to get stuff for Eunwoo

a sweetheart, really

charms the pants off of all the female nurses

also charmed MJ enough to get MJ to call him whenever MJ's done drawing blood samples from someone from Eunwoo’s clinic

Efficiency™ because that's the way Eunwoo works

ok so mostly because Eunwoo always sends Rocky down he's never been to the radiographer's

Until one day

Sanha messes up

It isn't really a bad mess up !!!!

He just keyed in someone's identification number wrongly

But the thing is that he's been doing that quite a few times

I mean to be fair he's just an intern

And also because he's just started the job !! He makes a couple mistakes sometimes

can you tell I'm basing Sanha off of me and just trying to defend myself rip vivi get ur shit together ;;;;;;

But every time Sanha messes up and Jinjin doesn't manage to check on it and correct it properly the report with the mess up gets sent to Rocky

And Rocky has to waste time trying to fix the mess up

Which takes Rocky away from the important things !! Eunwoo needs him to do !!

But also when Rocky fixes the reports he has to slide on his glasses and it makes all Eunwoo’s patients swoon a Little

Before they go into Eunwoo’s consultation room and swoon a Lot

And so Eunwoo is mildly frustrated and decides to go down during one of his breaks to find out why the radiographer has been messing up the reports so much

And so he swishes his lab coat on & swings his stethoscope off & polishes his glasses and heads downstairs to the radiographer's

Only to see poor Sanha piled underneath a stack of registration forms full of names and phone numbers  

Oh

Okay

So that's why

And nurse Jinjin is running around like a headless chicken trying to shuffle the right people from the X-ray room to the waiting room and vice versa

And Bin is slumped in his room giving instructions in a monotonous voice to the patients  

"take a deeeeep breath" 

"don't think of elephants" 

"sike lmao I bet u did" 

“stOP LAUGHING OH MY GOD YOU’RE GOING TO MESS UP THE XRAY”

"oh my god I didn't tell you to stop breathing you can breathe now"

And the phone is ringing wildly ("so that's why our calls are never answered," Eunwoo thinks) off the hook but nobody can respond because they have like 50 million people in the queue

no lie today i had 50 patients come in over the span of 2 hours it was truly a mess

And so Eunwoo waits for a while

until Jinjin notices that everyone hasn't been speaking for a while and instead staring at a certain corner of the room

in which Eunwoo has been leaning on the wall tapping away on his phone, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose

Looking very much like an angel !!!!!!!!!!!

If angels came with lab coats and glasses

And there's some gentle tittering from the older female patients and some not so gentle whispering and giggling from younger ones

Sanha hasn't even looked up from the registration desk poor dear but if he did he would have-

"oh my god"

Oh well there's sanha looking up then

I mean to be fair jinjin's thought process is somewhere along the same line

But he also has a job to do and no insanely attractive doctor will distract him from it !!!

I mean, an insanely attractive lab tech might but

You know what I mean

Responsible™ Jinjin

So when Jinjin escorts the last giggly girl out of the X-ray room (to be fair the radiographer AND the nurse are both very attractive so really what are the patients to do?) they both finally turn to Eunwoo

And Eunwoo looks up from where he's playing angry birds on his phone to Jinjin smiling politely and Sanha just plain out staring

"hi why are u here where's Rocky"

Jinjin, smacking Sanha on the head: "don't be rude son but yes why are u here where's Rocky"

Eunwoo, smiling that really cute crinkly eyed smile: "nah I just came to see what the situation was with the radiography room since Rocky always has to correct stuff on the reports you guys send up"

Sanha, alarmed and scrambling to defend himself: "djkshdks I-"

Jinjin, pressing his hand against Sanha's mouth: "ah yes it's me I've been the one messing up sorry about that I'll be more careful in the future"

Sanha, confused bc jinjin's covering for him?????

literally me when my boss kind of did the same thing??? guilt x100

Bin, coming out of the X-ray room: "are u covering for Sanha??"

Jinjin spluttering because he's trying to be nice but they're both exposing Sanha

Bin also spluttering because

Wow

Holy shit

Is that a real doctor

Probably not

Eunwoo also spluttering because

Wow

Holy shit

Is that a real radiographer??

Because hi he would like to quit his job and intern at the radiography clinic please

Bin seriously reconsidering his career choices and wondering if it's too late to replace Rocky as a nurse in Eunwoo's clinic because wow

Sanha turning to Jinjin and saying in a very low, serious voice: "while they're ogling each other I think we should escape"

Also Sanha: talk shit get hit gets hit on the head by Bin who coughs grumpily and says

"Listen I don't know who you think you are but here at the radiographer's we're very busy with um like X-rays and radiography and like uh x-raying people and stuff so like"

"could u like move along"

Eunwoo: "it's your lunch break rn"

Bin, defensively: "weLL YES jinjin apologised for his (Sanha's) mistakes so move along now"

Bin avoiding all eye contact by staring at Eunwoo’s lab coat

Which fits Eunwoo very well, he thinks

Doesn't need to be buttoned but hugs him in all the right places

Which is just as well since eunwoo's in a boring (very well tailored) dress shirt and boring (very well tailored) slacks

And very nice glasses he looks very smart and handsome and

Wait I mean

Bin, turning bright red & coughing: "wow yes we gotta gO"

And ngl eunwoo is a little hurt because there are Very Little people in this world who deny eunwoo's small crinkly smile

And there are Even Lesser people who become grumpy when eunwoo smiles his sunshine beam

And this really cute radiographer with black square glasses too big for his face and a small pout is being very grumpy indeed

So eunwoo smiles at Sanha and Jinjin, takes his leave and wanders out of the clinic back upstairs to his own, wondering what he did wrong

And so when Eunwoo leaves, Jinjin immediately whirls around and hits Bin on the shoulder

"WHAT WAS THAT"

(smack) "WHY DID YOU TELL HIM TO LEAVE"

(more smacks) "HE WAS EYEING YOU UP"

(smacks again) "YOU COULD HAVE BAGGED THAT SWEET CANDY"

Bin, sulkily: "like you could have bagged MJ hyung?"

Jinjin, turning red and mumbling under his breath and stalking away

Sanha, thoughtfully: "am I the only one here without somebody to bag"

And so life goes on in the radiography room, with MJ popping in and out to collect blood samples from patients who need Labstix and are in line for their x-ray and Jinjin blushing every time MJ so much as beams in his general direction

Sanha snorting because wow could they get any more obvious

Bin bet Sanha 5$ that Jinjin would make the first move but at this rate Sanha thinks Bin might have to pay up because there's no way in hell Jinjin can form a coherent sentence with MJ's Beam on Full Blast

But then

Eunwoo pops in again

And immediately all activity in the waiting room is halted to stare at this beautiful beautiful man with beautiful glasses and a beautiful focussed look and a beautiful smile

Bin, coming out to see why jinjin hasn't brought his next patient in & ready to give a piece of mind to whoever interrupted jinjin's clockwork routine

Also Bin: stutters and flushes at the sight of eunwoo

"Uh ok what do u want"

Eunwoo, smiling at Bin: "I'm here to collect the X-ray film of patient 777"

Bin, blurting out in confusion: "where's Rocky?????"

Eunwoo, frowning a little because all this poor angel wants to do is see the cute radiographer pout again but all he's doing is making this poor confused face which i mean,,,, ngl,, is kinda cute too,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

until he realises that all of them are waiting expectantly on his answer (except Sanha, who has reverted to frantically pounding on his keyboard in a desperate attempt to reduce the stack of registration forms beside him)

And he says: "I let him rest????"

Jinjin squinting because as long as he's worked here he's only talked to Eunwoo on the phone because not once has this doctor ever let poor Rocky rest

There has to be an ulterior motive

And that motive (insert mental image of lightbulb going off over Jinjin’s head) is Bin

So he beams at eunwoo and shoves him into the X-ray room with bin and says "YES DO THE MEDICAL TALKY TALK IN THERE GO DO THAT SHIT YOU GO BOYS"

Sanha sighing internally because it just means their queue will be held up rip

Eunwoo, flustered and blinking rapidly because wow now he's in a small, semi-dark kind of enclosed room with a really cute radiographer who's self consciously pushing his glasses up and pouting to himself

Wow

Really cute

"Um"

Bin, floundering: "UH YES 777 RIGHT" & bounding over to the computer to print out the report right away mmhmm yes sir

Eunwoo frowning a little because this boy seems like he's trying to get rid of him fast????? But this radiographer’s also really cute and he sees that this boy keeps eyeing Eunwoo so Eunwoo is seriously getting mixed messages?????

So he takes a step forward to bin's table and -

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME"

Oh shit unconscious eunwoo blurting strikes again

Rocky always said it'd hurt him one day

I mean mostly it's been harmless things like "I REALLY LIKE YOUR SCARF" @ a patient and "wow did you do your hAIR THAT'S A REALLY NICE COLOUR"

But shit shit shit he's said it in front of this cute guy

Who's gaping at him?????

Bin, ultimately, in a really small voice because he's confused and also Eunwoo is standing really close to him and all he can think about is that if he cranes his neck out a little he can touch Eunwoo’s nose with his nose and-

Ok Bin focus

"I don't hate you?"

Eunwoo, floundering a bit because ???? IT REALLY SEEMS SO >;(

"PROVE IT"

Oh good job eunwoo

Way to go

Cute radiographer boy probably is going to kick him out of the room

Call security on him

Never see him again

What for have a nice face if you can't woo peopl-

Wait

Cute radiographer boy made a sound

"Wait what"

"I SAID DO YOU HAVE A PLATE ON YOUR KNEE"

wait

What

Eunwoo just blinks in confusion and like

Damn Eunwoo for being so cute just blinking because Bin is going to lose his goddamn mind

He's so embarrassed rn he literally asked angel doctor to "go on a date with me" and now he's messed up and angel doctor is looking at his knee in confusion and really he's messed up he'll never see angel doctor again he'll never go on a date with this beautiful beautiful doctor and -

"uh I don't have a plate on my knee but uh,,,,,,,,, I have,,,, a date??? With uh,,,,,,, thee??????"

Cue grimace from eunwoo because wow he could never rap

Mostly because he cannot come up with things on the spot

Like this

Wow eunwoo good job congratulations

Also grimaces from jinjin eavesdropping outside because wow truly this doctor might look like an angel but his wooing skills seriously need some effort

Bin squeaking slightly because wow he might look all grumpy and tough and a lil shit but

He’s such a smol marshmallow inside

a small harshmallow that’s melting because Eunwoo’s decided to heck it and hit bin with his Full On Angel Smile

you know the one

yeah this one

wow my mum looked over while i was pasting this picture in my working doc as reference and went “WOW I LIKE THIS BOY”

same ma same

so does Bin, too, actually

and so he squeaks out a little, “yes?”

“yes as in yes you’ll go on a date with me?”

smol Binnie squeak: “yes?”

and so they stand there and grin all silly at each other until Jinjin, knocking on the door: “IS EVERYTHING OKAY WITH THE REPORT NURSE ROCKY IS WAITING”

oh shit 

ok no but for serious the doctor that came in looked 100% like gong yoo he had the hair and the soft sweater and worn jeans and beautiful smile and everything

listen i’m just so weak for doctor!Eunwoo 

doctor!Eunwoo bringing lunch for radiographer!Bin and them eating in the empty waiting room during their lunch break 

Bin dropping by Eunwoo’s clinic during his breaks and waiting for Eunwoo to finish his consultations just to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek 

wow ok I’m saving this fic idea for another time or I’m truly going to kill myself with feels and tears