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#I love how true that one saying of 'hot people are always in a r/s with other hot people' is when it comes to Soma and Seiroku
yeonban · 4 months
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I can't focus on writing any metas for Soma right now because I keep staring at his chest likE BRO COVER UP I NEED TO CONCENTRATE!!!!!!!!!!!
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xplrvibes · 4 months
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i canttt with sam’s hubris!! it’s either that, or the fact they need a filler with their content and aren’t bothering with, ya know, actually mediumship with trained ppl or witches tbh.
wish they’d delve into anything more but like that’s wasted breathe.
would love to hear ur thoughts/analysis w examples on sam’s hubris.
oh! and whatever that passive agressive that could come up with whoever ryan and shane are?? im always intrigued about what the guys could be like when challenged, because they dont really have anyone like that on.
If I gave my true thoughts on Sam and his hubris, I'd come back to a blog on fire lol.
Just know that I've always had my opinion on things like the challenges and the Sallie demon attachment thing, and they are what we would consider hot takes lol.
But as far as the passive aggressive is concerned, the closest example I can think of is the Miami series they did with Jake and Corey at the beginning of 2020. Jake was clearly over it all by then, while snc were hoping to take it a little more seriously. There is a point during the Miami Biltmore video where Jake is challenging them in some way and you can just feel the annoyance and tension through the screen, from both Sam and Colby. It was maybe the one interesting moment (besides Colby and his 21 past lives that has never been mentioned again lmao) in that whole series.
I think they have grown up a lot since then, and have better established themselves, their brands and their careers. They like to say that they are more open to skeptics now, and have brought people like Wilbur on who come into it being openly non-believing and they always manage to have a good time and sort of turn them around to at least being open to the paranormal.
Wilbur and other skeptics they've brought in in the past were novices to the ghost hunting community. snc were their guides. snc were the professionals, the adults in the room, the people setting the tone and controlling the situation and teaching the newbies.
They would not have that standing or power with Shane and Ryan.
Shane and Ryan are not novices to this genre in any way, shape or form. Snc would have absolutely no power in this situation; if anything, they would almost start out on a lower playing field than Shane and Ryan (on account of S&R would have 100% of the backing from the skeptics and debunkers, and Shane would be coming in already thinking they are idiots and ready to challenge them and prove that they are, in fact, idiots).
And I think that would be half the problem, right there. They would be off-kilter, not in control of the situation, and being met with scorn and disdain or at the very least, a patronizing tone from someone who has made it no secret that they don't respect them or find them reputable in any way.
It's gonna get their backs up.
Now, Sam is the one who truly does not do well with not having control in a situation; he's also the one that doesn't seem to do well with people who have differing viewpoints to his (part of that need for control), so my initial guess was that he would be the first to break and get passive-aggressive or challenging back, especially cause we all know how Colby and confrontation usually mix about as well as oil and water.
But then I started thinking about it more, and honestly, the one thing that seems to get Colby's back up as well, are people insulting his friends (especially Sam). And Colby's the guy who consistently gets into fights in clubs and barks at people for invading his space and considers himself the holder of drinks and caretaker of his friends. He's the one who once tweeted out "Say what you want about me, I don't care. But if you talk shit about my friends, we have a problem."
So...given all that, I honestly don't know which side of the snc braintrust is going to be the side that gives up on any pretense of niceties first and starts getting snippy; it could go either way.
But I do know two things: 1) this collab would probably not end with a friendship, and 2) it'll be a whole lot of passive-aggressive stuff and not any actual fighting involved lol.
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do you think that those who are in denial about the tae’s situation is actually kinda /disappointed/ with taehyung? i mean bcs we can see that tae is someone who REALLY values his privacy and if its true about him dating her i think its kinda weird that he would freely went out with her in public, knowing & ALLOWING the paparazzi taking photos of them freely :// i get it that if they want to go public, but i think a simple statement could just be made & whatever mess that is happening rn in the fandom could be stopped.
and i admit that jn is hot & pretty, but tbh she doesnt looks like tae’s type lol i always picture him dating a woman who is more elegant/classy/chic and i think the situation will be different if he dates someone else (bcs these two fandoms are always at each other throats lols)
however, i know that we owe both of them nothing & should be respectful of their private life. and tbvh i dislike how ppl always trying to relate & connect whatever things that both of them do in their life to each other just bcs they are in a r/s, both of them are their own person first and foremost i feel like now ppl will only discredit their own hardwork bcs of their relationship ://
sorry for the long rant tho hope you have a nice day!
I'm sorry it took me so long to answer this. I've been in a weird place this past week. Everything's been a blur.
Anyway! Thank you for being patient 🙏🏻
Firstly, I'm not gonna speak for majority of people bc everyone is different, not everyone is sad or mad or happy. That being said, I would hope people aren't disappointed in him, although some might be, I can't say bc I don't know 🤷🏻‍♀️ everything i say here is solely my opinion and in no way an attempt to lump anyone into a group.
And speaking of, in my opinion, neither of them has done anything wrong and there's no reason to be disappointed in Tae himself as if he's done something he shouldn't have. But that's me! I can't stop people from feeling what they feel.
Who knows, maybe he doesn't gaf anymore, y'know? Idols are constantly being stalked and ruined by paparazzi, it's sick and inevitable. Maybe they just wanted it to be on their terms? I'm sure they knew they'd be on camera, but I'm not them so I don't know that either. All I can say is if they did know and wanted it on their terms so they said "fuck it" then I say SLAY. It's about time idols feel like they have some say in their own lives even if all hell breaks loose bc of it.
I don't think a statement would have been much different tbh. People will be angry if they want to be angry, people will be happy if they want to be happy, and people will be hurt if they are hurt. A statement might have made it more clear instantly, but I think it's pretty clear already imo. And I think people still would choose to wonder if it's say, a promotion scheme thing, like they have already. People like to make conspiracies if they don't like the truth about something.
Fandoms are constantly a mess for one reason or another honestly 😭 idc we can all fight it out as long as tae is happy and the army's that are genuinely hurting are not attacked just bc it would be easy to point fingers at them. I'll stick up for our artists and I'll stick up for the army's and blinks that are hurting 🤙🏻💕
Jennie is so much more than hot and pretty, though. I've been a blink for almost as long as I've been an army. I found bts in 2017 and blackpink just a few months later. Yes, they are beautiful and talented. But they are also sweet, and kind, and so funny. Jennie has gotten so much shit that she never deserved. It's easy to hate people when we don't know them and when we're behind a screen. I personally love her, I don't know her in real life, but from what I've seen of her, she is so loving and kind and funny and protective and just all around an amazing human being. It doesn't matter what I think, but in my opinion it makes sense for those two. They're both amazing souls that are full of goodness. And if that ever changes or is proven different for either of them, then I guess I was wrong. But that's how I feel rn.
As for the ideal type thing. I've got a few things to say about that.
First of all, we don't know them. Their ideal types could be the exact opposite of what we think or imagined. There's never a way to know.
When they say stuff about their ideal types, its usually when they're newer in the industry and younger. And they are more than likely feeling pressured about answering so they either pick general things, or what they think then, and it probably changed lol. I doubt anyone's ideal type stays the exact same forever.
Besides. What if his ideal type was the opposite of Jennie, and then he met her and fell for her anyway bc he's not shallow? Seems like that happens a lot to people that aren't immature.
You might not have meant any harm with that comment, but I think you should think about it some more. It's offensive to Jennie to say she's hot and pretty and end it there, like that's all she has to offer, and also offensive to Tae to say it's weird he ended up with her bc armys imagined it differently and to think he'd pick someone solely based on their looks. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks, he likes her and that's that.
And let's be honest. Asking a teenage boy what he likes in a gf/bf is stupid. Firstly, it doesn't fucking matter and who knows why tf they do it. But also, teenage boys are most likely gonna be shallow. They are gonna focus solely on looks, especially in a society that normalizes that.
And then they'll be labeled with that even as they grow and begin to mature in their thoughts and words and as they realize it's not okay to label people as needing to be a certain height or weight or to shove them in a box to fit their "type".
It doesn't matter if it was someone else, like I said people will be mad if they want. Its an excuse to hate on someone who they have already chosen to hate without good reason.
Fan wars are stupid. I'm just gonna say it. They're stupid and immature and literally pointless. It has been such a ridiculous journey being both an army and a blink. It's honestly disappointing that fans feel like they can validate the war between BTS and Blackpink. There is no war between them and never was lol. Just the fans that can't grow up. Like damn. Hasn't anyone learned? Can't we love our boys and girls by showing them love in ways that aren't solely on votes and views? Fans start attacking their own for not streaming. Ridiculous.
Nonnie, I hope that you don't think I've attacked you personally in any way in my answer. I know it might not be how you think or perhaps something was worded in a way that you did not mean. I think the word 'disappointed' triggered something in me and brought me back to years ago when Jungkookie apologized to army for the dating accusations and said he wouldn't disappoint us. That still fucking hurts me so badly to think he'd give up on something just to keep fans happy. As if they won't someday grow up and marry and leave him wondering his own worth in the end. It kills me inside when they feel like them being human is a disappointment.
Tae could never disappoint me unless he did something unforgivable, and that certainly wouldn't be dating someone.
I hope that no one feels like that about him, but they will feel what they want and I can't stop that. I also hope people won't be judging their accomplishments bc of their relationship.
You don't have to apologize for sending long asks guys, I don't mind at all and there's nothing to be sorry for!
Love you nonnie, and again I hope I didn't hurt you with my answer. It is to a lot of people, not just you 💚
ILY 💜
-chip
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Do you have any favorite and least favorite tropes
Least Favorite Tropes
If you've followed me a while, you know I love to shout that tropes aren't bad. So, when I hear this question, my brain usually defaults to least favorite clichés. I always forget that just because tropes aren't inherently bad doesn't mean there can't be tropes I don't like. So, at your request, I sat down and really thought about it, and came up with the following list:
CW/TW for r*pe CW for s*x (They're #9 and #10 if you want to skip them…)
1 - The Alpha Male - He's tough, strong, emotionless, skilled at everything, hot and built, and full of raw sexual power. Every masculine person wants to be him, and everyone attracted to men wants to be with him… you get the drift. Guys like this are just a bunch of red flags sewn into the shape of a person. Unless he's the antagonist or a dirtbag with a positive change arc, it's just not my thing.
2 - Emotionless for Edge - I've said it before and I'll say it forever: specifically writing about a character experiencing a neurological or psychological condition that numbs emotion is fine (as long as it's either your own experience or you do your research and use a sensitivity reader), BUT… when a character is emotionless for the sake of drama or to be edgy, it just doesn't work for me.
3 - Insta-Love - You know how it goes… person meets person and within twenty-minutes of meeting, they're declaring their everlasting love for one another. That's insta-love, and I want to clarify that because I'm seeing a lot of confusion about that lately. Somehow, the popular definition of insta-love became about time spent together, and it was never about time at all. It's about whether or not the love feels earned, both through the events the lovebirds jointly experience and through how their budding love is shown through their interactions. Because, you can have two people trapped in a room together for six hours, during which time they experience a lot of harrowing situations, have to learn to trust and rely on one another, and confide things in one another they've never shared with anyone else, and you can make it believable that they develop romantic feelings for one another in that amount of time. But if you just stick them in a room together for six hours and nothing much happens other than they have a couple of random conversations and an argument about sports, and then try to tell me they're in love, that's not going to feel earned to me.
4 - Unreliable Narrator - This is where the narrator, usually the POV character, gives the reader information that isn't true. For some reason. I've never been a fan of this trope because I've never really seen it used well. It never really seems to serve a purpose other than to mislead the reader, but that just feels cheap to me. I'll concede that it probably can be used well and I'm sure there are great examples, but I'm just not a big fan.
5 - Obviously Beautiful - They're gorgeous. Maybe even the hottest person wherever. Everyone thinks they're gorgeous. Everyone within a ten-mile radius is madly, deeply in love with them. But they have no idea. As far as they're concerned, they're just a Plain Jayne. Pass…
6 - Dark and Tragic Past - Something unspeakable happened in their past, and it really doesn't have that much to do with the rest of the plot or who they eventually became, but you'd better believe the memory of those events will haunt their dreams and every waking moment where it can provide drama. Unless you're specifically writing about dealing with trauma, or the terrible events are both plot relevant and plot-necessary, this is a hard no for me. There are so many more interesting ways to give your character an internal conflict and emotional wound than by giving them a dark and troubled past.
7 - Never Together, Always Apart - This is really more of a TV problem than a book problem, but I've seen it in long book series now and then. It's when two characters are in love, they're obviously meant to be together--and they are together very briefly off and on--but even though it's not really that important to the story in any way, these two characters are going to be kept apart again, and again, and again. You'll breathe a sigh of relief that they're finally, finally, finally together once and for all, then something happens to drive them apart for the six-hundredth time. Not a fan.
8 - Hobby as Personality - I see this more often in YA, but it happens in all categories. It's where the protagonist has some special skill or hobby unrelated to the plot, like they love to read, play the bagpipes, write really deep poetry, or have a beautiful singing voice, but this is the most important thing about them outside of their role in the external conflict. There's no other attempt to flesh out their personality. They don't really have an internal conflict or emotional wound. There's nothing at stake to keep them up at night. They don't have other interests or obvious likes/dislikes. Their hopes and dreams, if they exist at all, revolve entirely around the special skill or hobby. I mean, I'm all for giving protagonists a thing that makes them special, but if that's their entire personality, it's not for me.
9 - R*pe for Realism - This is when r*pe exists in the story simply because it's a gritty setting, like a Viking village, medieval fantasy, or a pirate ship. Just. No. There are many, many, maaaaaaany examples of stories set in the distant past, dystopian futures, The Republic of Pirates, or dark and gritty fantasy worlds that don't include people being r*ped for "realism." It isn't necessary. It doesn't add realism. It's just an excuse to write about someone being r*ped. So, that's a great big giant bowl of nope for me.
10 - Emotional Situation Sex - The world is falling apart around them. Things just couldn't be worse. The future looks grim. But that's not gonna stop these horn dogs from getting it onnnnnnnnn! And they're doing it while both in tears and moaning their goodbyes. Nope-ity nope noooooooope! And hey… if you like this kind of scene, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Some of my favorite people love this trope. It's just not for me.
Now, just because I don't personally like these tropes, with the exception of #9 (which is just generally no...) doesn't mean they're inherently bad. I'm just not a fan. And I know some of these probably border on clichés by now, but for some genres they're still considered tropes.
Thanks for the fun question! I'll do favorite another day or see if I have a link to a past post.
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same non as the one prior!,listen I love hearing people ramble about the things and characters they like it nice to see someone go off about their favorite characters so yes im serious please go on n release the rot!!
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[Reply to here!]
damn y'all 😭 HAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU REALLY WANT THIS SO BAD y'all gonna regret this horribly
Brainrot under the cut because this WILL be a long boi
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Į̸̮̪̗̝̭̦̭̕͝ͅ ̴̰̱̥͒͊̉ṣ̶͔̂̇̅͝ẽ̵̳̥̞̦͈̱̊̈́͊̀̓̎̆̚e��̛̱̜̤̓̈́ ̵̝͎͛̈̋̇͗̀͜y̵̙̜̻͂̍͐ǒ̷̲̬̺̦͎͍͚̺̔̌ͅṵ̶̢͍̹̄̈́̏̆͒̒̚'̷̭̼̞̱̗̦͙̥́͐ͅṛ̴̛̉̏̿̋̓̄̚̕͝è̴̡̡̗̰͕͎̝̣̌́̾̊̈́̒̃͆̽ ̵͔͇̻͓͉͖̕h̸͈̙͈͚̯͈̱͛e̶̪̙̲͐͐r̸̛̲̜̟͍̯̟̭̔́̅̊̎̕͘͝ĕ̸͔̗̮͕̭̗̄͒̈́̕͘͠ :)
Ok first off, I do have some thoughts listed down here already, but we'll have the screaming version of them here.
so now, let's pull up a pic of Azul's full sprite, bless be to alchemivich for this
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I guess let's start from the top then work our way downwards~ (just how I like to do it ;) bricked)
SO let's talk about Azul's glasses, as they're a hot topic now
We've always known Azul with his rectangular frames. I myself have always wanted to see him in round frames, but now that we have them, well,,, time for an explanation WHEEZE.
So when you choose your glasses, you have to take into consideration how well they complement your face. Lots of places will tell you to consider the shape of your face, how long or short it is, even the width of your face and the nose bridge, etc. There's a reason why Azul's usual glasses really work on him—there are several factors, but the one I will talk about is his face shape, which seems to be on the softer and rounder side.
Rectangular/square frames work well with rounder face shapes because of contrast. Rounder frames will further emphasize the roundness of the face, which well if that's the effect you want, then hell yeah go for it. But it can also feel a little off, especially if you aim to balance out your looks.
Azul's round frames emphasize this roundness. But the thing is, the specific thing they emphasize is not his jawline or anything but his forehead LJADLKSJKSLSFJ like, it really doesn't help that he pushed back his bangs inside his hat because there's more skin showing aka there's more of that bald feel.
Am I saying that the glasses don't fit him then?
... not at all. HONESTLY IN FACT, THEY FIT HIM 🤡 it gives Azul this old timey wizard vibe, especially paired with the rest of his outfit. And idk, he always had a knack for those types of glasses that have the chain, like it really just fits his character. They're on the more mature side.
Onto his hat, one of Azul's voiced lines has him saying that he pushed his bangs back because the hat itself is so fancy and very elaborate. And you know what? THAT IS SMART OF HIM 😩 because true, his bangs would add a little too much to the visual aspect. The hat itself is so nice though. I always imagined him having a similar hat to that along with a feather, so seeing this coming to life really satisfied me so much 🥺 It's one of the many things I've asked for. I didn't expect the coral design in front, though! That one, I find pretty neat.
ngl though lowkey hoping for a groovy where he doesn't have the hat though 😳 and we get a view of that SLICKED BACK HAIR— bricked
no like . seriously though, imagine we get something like THIS wonderful gorgeous godly sight right here??? for a groovy??? Yana Toboso, I am currently demanding right now.
Anyway, let's move o—
. hold on.
what is this I see?
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... let's get a different image just to be sure
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. . . . . .
SO WE HAVE TWO THINGS TO DISCUSS HERE
Number 1. That nautilus shell.
It is about TIME that they gave Azul that nautilus shell necklace that is not in his overblot form AND ALSO LIKE, LOOK AT HOW FANCY IT IS!!!!!!! IT'S SO 😭 it's so pretty like,,, uhuhuhuhu after 2+ years of waiting, I finally got this
Number 2. We all know what it is. :)
look at that. look at that fucking s H E ER RRR R R R 🧍 I was peacefully scrolling through Twitter when I saw that crop + a JP user's caption about how they're like IT'S SHEER???? AND NOW I'M LIKE HO FUCK IT'S SHEER?????????? AZUL ASHENGROTTO, THE MAN WHO COVERS UP EVEN HIS NECK, HAS HIS NECK AREA PARTIALLY VISIBLE???????????? I finally know how victorian men feel when they see a woman's ankle.
And I get why the tweels' favorite food are octopus dishes. 🧍 We'll leave it at that .
Sleeves design! Honestly, I find it interesting how the fashion designers in-universe thought that Azul really fit the NRC robes to the point that they thought oh we should make his outfit similar to the robes. And boom, here we see sleeves and gold decor that is as intricate as the robes but still a little different. Honestly, seeing the entire outfit in general reminds me of one of Robe Azul's lines: "These ceremonial robes do wonders as something akin to a business card. Just wearing these off campus will gather admiring glances." (taken from @/mysteryshoptls) It's such a nice nod to that line 🥺 and I'll be honest, the art for Robe Azul isn't one of my favorites, so to see him in this outfit and as an SSR is so rewarding because like #DESERVED
onto the . whatever you call this, the collar?
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There's a point where you gotta wonder how Azul really feels about this outfit in general. Like, he was already disturbed that Rollo knew him and where he came from, he was also disturbed that they knew about his eyesight. But that collar design, that resembles the suckers on his tentacle arms, I don't think you can just brush it off as "oh they're meant to be bubbles underwater". It's not a bad design, it's just how does Azul really feel about the outfit with its under the sea motif and even this kind of pattern? 😂 Is he trying to hide the discomfort about this out of politeness? Or is he so private about this kind of insecurity that he dares not voice it out unlike the way he's clear about his discomfort about how they know about his eyesight?
wow ok we got serious there. Don't worry, though...
We're just getting to the exciting part
So of course Azul would have a belt on his outfit. He needs that cinched waist after all 😩 ughhh I have a special weakness for slim waists because the way a slim waist feels in my arms is so , ,,,, ,,, u uu uu u you get this deep primal urge to protect the person you're holding that holding any other waist just cannot give you. at least, that's just my brain being coocoo wwwwwwww
Something even nicer is that the belt adds so much more to the silhouette that the overall outfit gives. It's cinched at the waist,, but then it flairs out with the TAILCOATS
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OH MAMAS THOSE TAILCOATS ARE GOING TO BE THE ABSOLUTE D E A T H OF ME
I mentioned it already. I always loved tailcoats. They give that classy and authoritative aura. AND LOOK AT AZUL MF ASHENGROTTO WITH SIX OF THEM
They also look like they're made of a really really good material. Like, just look at the card art. That material looks so nice and sturdy.
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AND THE WAY THAT THE FRONT AREA OF HIS TOP ENDS LIKE THAT, LIKE ,, ,,,, , HUHU HUU HUH UHU you know I always always wanted to wear an outfit like that ever since I was a kid? Ends short at the front but there's a trail or a tailcoat at the back, and it's BLACK TOO like u u u uuuuu uu just seeing that on Azul makes me so oughohouohodfoghodf it's everything I wanted and it's really like Disney saw my childhood imagination uwehhhh waddafak !!!!
and ughh hh h ok can we like . talk about the ribbons too and tailcoats and how they just accentuate his legs so fucking well
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Like come ON MAN
whoever drew Azul's live2D was thinking with their dicks because why the FUCK did they decide "hoho what if we draw the ribbons in front such that it creates the illusion of Azul's legs being slimmer and then flaring out at the bottom aND THUS MAKING HIS LEGS LOOK EVEN MORE APPEALING TO LOOK AT" LIKE COME ON,,,, THEY WERE DEFINITELY ON SOMETHING WHEN THEY WERE DRAWING THOSE RIBBONS LIKE . THAT . AND THE GOLD TRIM AT THE END DOESN'T HELP AT ALL LIKE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
please like . those pants . those pants look so nice like hello I like those pants. I want to steal those pants. I want to eat those pants.
but most importantly, I hate hate hate the way that those pants make Azul's legs so so so s os os os os oso soo so ooo so 🤡
. ok speaking of legs, we can establish that the tailcoats + ribbons resemble Azul's 8 tentacles underwater (he really isn't getting a break from being his octopus self wwwwww). But I want to talk about the design in the tailcoats themselves??? Like, it's so delicate and really pretty 🥺 it's not like the design on the collar, but it looks more floral ish. It sort of gives the same hypnotic feel as the Fibonacci sequence or even the golden ratio in some way. It's so delicate and pretty and just huh uh u hu hu
Lastly, shoes , ,, ,, shoes. Those are nice shoes. I love that he has heels. . . WAIT HEELS I JSUT REALIZED HE IS WALKING IN HEELS HELP NKFJNKJDNSNSDNFS HOLD ON HE HASN'T BEEN COMPLANING ABOUT THE HEELS ???? HE'S ACTUALLY BALANCING ON THOSE HEELS?????? HE'S DOING OK IN THE HEELS?????? ok granted though, they are wedged heels, but like, even wedged heels are hard to balance on if you aren't accustomed to heels (flashbacks to the first time I had to wear heels when I was 12 yrs old and wobbling on my own feet when the heels were 1-inch high and wedged).
last but not the least, you can watch the Midnight Masquerade here. At the Goofy part starting 13:27, the dancers' costume vaguely reminded me of Azul's silhouette that his outfit gives him. Makes me wonder how much Twst team took inspiration from this performance honestly.
SO ANYWAY UH GOODNIGHT I'M HAPPY WITH THIS EVENT FOR GIVING US GOOD GOOD SHIT ABOUT AZUL 🤡
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mandajiu · 1 year
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I'll never get over this nonsensical moment of joy between them in TLB tidbits. It's my number one favorite snippet because they are in their own world. That smile on 88 - she is truly gorgeous inside and out. I feel for 30 having to be close to someone so naturally blessed even with virtually no makeup. No one makes 30 smile like 88, no one. No one helps us see the little girl side in the transparent actress like 30, no one. May the flowers be blooming. Birds say that 30 got stuck again yesterday and created a card point that is harmless - now is not the time to show public displays of affection. I suspect all their messages to each other will be veiled in business transactions.
I gathered a few for you: So,30 seems to find the most interesting ways to say "re" 热;therefore, endorsing toothpaste for sensitive teeth with the tagline "Hot and cold, sweet and sour" seems a great way to go around rrrrrre-ing." I did notice in my research that "cold" might be his self-reference. He is Xiao Leng (冷 cold) - the compnay is Leng Suan Ling - and she is Xiao Re. Still in preliminary stages, but it seems to work. He honestly loves cold and hates the heat, but he is always going around in warm clothes sweating and talking about how "hot" it is. lol
88 is pink and 30 is blue.
Red heart= most likely 88 (lately this is her most common symbol in the past little while btw)
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88's favorite color this month is Color Key's 55 - 5 for Wu. In the past, she has chosen many lipsticks with special numbers. Will get photo later. It's very cute.
Pekomi spotted this - do you see it?: Wow. She's good. Of course we have the ongoing thread of tying some cloth around the wrist - both shoots for Bazaar too. The anniversary was relatively recent of "Lost in Your Eyes."
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Look closely - do you see the cursive R (or B - reminds me of the clothing brand he endorses with the cursive R symobl) either way it fits our 88. Pekomi - you are a true master of CPF! I bow to you!
THE NEWS: WB CRAZY THESE DAYS!
So, the weibosphere for both sides is a hot mess right now. 88 has started the necessary trend of suing paparazzi - YES. The studio of the other lady has sued. This is probably in relation to an article published on CCTV wb referring to a person who didn't know the founding of the CCP (so definitely purple junior) and a few others as "illiterates" but there is also reference to personal life infringement. I have some personal feelings. As a fellow dyscalculic who struggles with dates, times, numbers I get the little purple junior's issue. Dates CAN be really hard for people with dyscalculia and even nearly impossible for a handful; however, if I were given a role and did no research or wrote no notecards about my role so I could learn the information - sorry, that's being lazy. We are good at memorizing information usually even if we don't understand it.
I sent a message to Lei-fan yesterday as I live in Doha about the Sledgehammer broadcast and see the news earlier to warn them of the coming onslaught from the LD broadcast. I also am online more than I should be: Basically a netizen called and said that 30 and a certain purple flower were together. This was on Valentine's Day. LD had previously refuted the CPF as fake. He is most likely being payed to stoke the fire, so although he did not directly say he had evidence, he released the hint of two 95 actors even without evidence based on a random person's conjecture! Whether tea is rubbing or the CPF are just that unruly, it resulted in a bit of mayhem. I wonder if WL's studio will issue a letter soon. His is a family-run business, so spending extra money is not really as easy for him. As for whether the letters will directly refute the CP, it's not good business to lose fans so I don't see it being done that directly. Don't take my word. Check wb yourself.
If you do check weibo, you will see a whole lot of attempts to tear people down using nefarious means. It goes from calm to crazy on 88's weibo - we had a lull, then something will come up. It's just really insane right now.
Whatever is happening, it really looks like 88 might finally be free soon if all these rumors are related to leaving the company! If its just this new role and endorsement she has, then it must be plumb. She has a photoshoot on the 27th. Hopefully we will know by then, but who knows. All is speculation.
What we do know: We know 30 and 88 are the best artists to ship separately or together. They have nothing bad on them and baddies will keep trying to muddy their reputation because they really are good eggs or rub up against them because of their popularity. We don't know if they are together. We hope that is the case, but all CP's are pure imagination until a formal announcement is made and we have to be sensible. Not knowing keeps the business alive; if this is an ongoing business relationship - which I am highly doubtful as it really doesn't have enough capital incentive with the small numbers of Eggs relative to new fandoms - then OK. It's all good. Let's go for a re-match!
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themculibrary · 1 year
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Autism/Autistic Masterlist
3 Times Tony Told Someone He’s Autistic (ao3) - Strawb3rryBoba pepper/tony N/R, 3k
Summary: There isnt enough neurodivergent Tony stories out there, so here I am writing one. Hope you enjoy!
5 Times Ned Didn't Ask (ao3) - liketolaugh T, 3k
Summary: And one time he did. (Even before he knows what's going on, Ned helps Peter manage his powers.)
Artificial (ao3) - MycroftRH G, 1k
Summary: People say a lot of things about Tony Stark; not all of them are true. The people who say he's weirdly intimate with his bots may have a point, though.
(About Tony growing up autistic, and how that affects his relationship with his bots, his father, and himself. Not AU.)
Blessures (ao3) - especiallythezefronposter T, 5k
Summary: Peter wasn't always on his own, not really.
Or, Peter makes a friend.
Don't Say It (ao3) - bibliomaniac bucky/steve/tony T, 35k
Summary: Tony Stark is autistic and nonverbal. Which is fine, obviously, except for it means that Steve and Bucky don't have his words, and it only takes him a few minutes to decide they don't need to know he has theirs.
That's also totally and definitely fine, until he goes and falls in love with them.
hence the balloons (ao3) - iron_spider_suit pepper/tony G, 12k
Summary: “What does that mean? Au-tis-tic,” Morgan asked, stumbling over the pronunciation, looking from one adult to the other.
-
Morgan’s birthday party leads to some important and long delayed conversations.
Intuition/Assumptions (ao3) - salvabon G, 2k
Summary: Clint is surprised to find out the others don't know that their ally, a vigilante named Daredevil, is blind. He is pretty sure though. And he really wants to make sure he's being inclusive when making a sign language for work.
Okay, So Being Kidnapped is (Arguably) Worse than Plane Rides (ao3) - dragonfishwrites N/R, 4k
Summary: Peter's eyes were on the other vacationers, scanning the crowd for the person that was making him feel so unsafe. This part of the beach was mostly deserted, though. Someone looked to be asleep on her beach towel, someone else completely lost in a book. No one was looking at them. He spied a leisure boat nearby, and for some reason that made his heart thump hard in his throat.
"May," he whispered, panicked and frustrated that he couldn't identify the source of the threat. "Somethings-"
White hot pain exploded at the back of his head, and for a split second terror took over his entire being. Then, everything stopped.
Or: Peter and the terrible horrible no good very bad vacation
Sensory Overload (ao3) - Quiet_reader G, 1k
Summary: An autistic Tony has been running himself ragged trying to organise the Maria Stark Foundation's charity fundraise/ball for New Years Eve. Having exhausted himself in the run-up, he finds the atmosphere too much with too many different stimuli. Steve notices, and takes care of him.
So Much More (ao3) - TheDoctorIsIcecube T, 2k
Summary: Everything being loud and bright had always been a problem for Peter, but it got worse very quickly after a very strange day.
Survival (ao3) - asdPawprint T, 5k
Summary: Peter is in college, and it's really hard. He can't remember the last time he went to class and didn't have a panic attack (or several). If that ever happened at all. Simply surviving is so difficult, Peter isn't sure if thriving is even possible. Until a golden retriever on the internet catches his attention.
The Sanctuary (ao3) - CaptainJimothyCarter bucky/clint G, 4k
Summary: Clint is autistic and he's designated one place in Avengers Tower to become his sanctuary, his safe-space for when he needs to stim. No one is allowed in there, but it doesn't surprise anyone when Clint offers his safe-space to Bucky to use when they're both overwhelmed.
Villanelle (ao3) - Magi_Silverwolf G, 1k
Summary: Tony wasn't good with kids. In general, that just wasn't a thing he was. So imagine his surprise when one snuck into his lab to make a demand.
you're so golden (ao3) - An_Abudance_Of_Stories peter/gwen G, 458
Summary: Self-indulgent fluff about Petergwen.
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Teenager Fics Masterlist
Across the Universe (ao3) - secretlyryanross luke/ashton G, 2k
Summary: "...So, like, you've done this before?" Luke asks in a hushed tone.
-
Or, Ashton smokes pot sometimes and Luke is curious about trying it.
Confront Me (ao3) - jadedperspective michael/ashton T, 2k
Summary: Ashton tells Michael they can’t be friends anymore and Michael, without anyone else to turn to, seeks his best friend for comfort.
He Was A Skater Boy (ao3) - SinisterMind michael/luke T, 2k
Summary: He was a boy, he was also a boy….can I make it any more obvious?
how did we end up talking in the first place? (ao3) - hemmingscliffords michael/luke, implied ashton/calum E, 3k
Summary: Michael Clifford, senior. Probably been gobbed off more times than any person Luke can think of. He's got this fucking awesome blonde hair with a too-good-to-be-true fringe, and his lips are big and puffy and he's the perfect mixture of pretty and rugged when he has stubble.
And Luke's fancied him for as long as he can remember.
it's getting crazy (i think i'm losing it) (ao3) - lucasshem luke/ashton N/R, 1k
Summary: Luke and Ashton meet at a party and shit goes down.
Made For You (ao3) - Headgehog_Louis007 luke/ashton T, 13k
Summary: Luke has always been the bad boy with the image to match. Ashton is trying to start his music career but nothing is working out. When Luke gets himself into trouble he finds himself out in the street, where he meets Ashton and they become friends or maybe more.
Maelstrom (ao3) - merlypops luke/ashton E, 225k
Summary: Ashton is struggling, Luke is hiding, and Michael and Calum just want to make things work. (And maybe Ashton and Luke fall in love too. Maybe.)
milk teeth (ao3) - prettyluke (parting_ways) michael/calum T, 9k
Summary: the four times Calum couldn't admit it and the one time he did.
oblivious (ao3) - orphan_account michael/calum M, 3k
Summary: "i asked," he rolls his eyes sassily, but michael couldnt see since his face was still pressed against his chest. "what is a blowjob?"
Spit Me Out Like Hot Wasabi (ao3) - takemymoneycth michael/calum E, 4k
Summary: Michael had never enjoyed parties. But what happens when at one of Ashton Irwin's, he meets Calum, a sex god who looks like he came straight from his wet dreams? (hint: it starts with a s and ends with an ex)
Summer Love (ao3) - orphan_account luke/ashton T, 18k
Summary: Luke goes to summer camp for the first time. His counselor, Ashton, is perfect in every way.
that’s why you like it (ao3) - merlypops michael/calum, bryana/ashton E, 69k
Summary: Calum starts doing workouts in the garden over the summer and Michael spends the whole time with his hand down his pants (until Calum takes matters into his own hands).
the kids will be alright, eventually (ao3) - wafflelashton luke/ashton, ashton/ofc T, 45k
Summary; ashton falls in love with his best friend, luke, and is somehow the last to know.
The Worst Things in Life Come Free to Us (ao3) - mukeftlashton michael/luke, calum/ashton E, 54k
Summary: On the outside, Michael looks like a bitter rebel who doesn't care about the feelings of others. In reality, he's a kid who had his heart shattered, and he needs help picking up the pieces.
Luke is a fragile teen who lives with his abusive, alcoholic, homophobic father. He has resorted to not speaking, deciding that it isn't worth his time; no one cares about what he has to say anyways.
Piece by piece, they help each other rebuild the fragments of their shattered hearts, but it doesn't happen overnight.
this is everything i didn't say - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) michael/luke, calum/ashton T, 6k
Summary: Luke's home life has never been great, with an abusive and homophobic father. Calum is the only good consistent thing in his life, with Calum being Luke's best friend. One day, Calum suggests that Luke meets some new people to hang out with. Luke is hesitant, but then he meets a red head named Michael Clifford, and everything changes.
White Noise (ao3) - merlypops luke/ashton E, 7k
Summary: Luke and Ashton have massive crushes on each other, Ashton throws a party, and all of Luke's dreams come true. (Maybe they're a tiny bit in love too. Maybe.)
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johnnys-breastmilk · 6 months
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Wally anon: Easilyyy one of the dumbest ideas of the fandom fr. (And you know he'll be breathing heavy & shit, talking about how much you want it while he manhandles you around probably still wearing the costume with his dick sticking out ready for you 🫣) I will never know peace knowing how much we lost never getting that version of 5 cause that. is what Scream is to me, pushing the boundaries of concepts already sorta present in the genre but taking them to the next level 😫 Wait, you're into Hughie now? 🥴 (but Jensen is hot as fuckkk as Soldier Boy, not even remotely sorry to say) Idk why they act like they couldn't do it when they changed Mindy's sexuality last min when they pivoted from Tara+Amber in the script. 😶 Yup, veryyyy proud of everyone who left + has stood in solidarity with Melissa on this. I can not b e l i e v e the lack of professionalism from that stupid studio that even makes the Weinsteins seem less shitty by comparison. But I can't say the same @ contributed to growth. Richie is probably. the closest cause the ~personal attachment~ but everybody else has felt incredibly extraneous to me when nearly all the killers Sidney had to face had something uniquely personal with her (minus Charlie). (4's is just so. mushy + flat to me that it's hard to get into & I don't take as. much issue with H20's as I used to cause I do think the mold works, it's just that the excessive eyes are too much; but yes, absolutely agreed on John 👀) Plowing, huh? 🤭 Fruit on fruit crime dsvakab so true. 🍓
No, please do, I'm actually a pretty big fan of the movies/character (Garfield's version >>>), so I'm alllll for these ideas with the ceiling. 😮‍💨 Ugh yessss he'd be wanting to show you the full force of the ghost you'd been hearing so long about & seeing/hearing how the lockers rock back & forth from his pounding would have you 🤤
(or more, considering the dirty talk of it all 🤫) Yuppp, it goes all back to his competitive nature.
Yesss. You get it. I've always taken issue with how. much the MCU has held her back, so finallyyyy getting to see the full extent of her power on WV+in MOM was deeply satisfying to me even with the poor plotting in the latter. 🫡  Yeahhh, reshoots tend to be a sign to worry, especially with the current state of the MCU in mind. 🙃 They were really lucky that they got RDJ cause my godddd Tony would drive me up the wall c o n s t a n t l y. And people will excuse all of the shit he gets up to cause his whole ~special magical Thanos vision~ but I don't think the movies actually. do a good job of expanding upon his alleged "paranoia" since it's always. his arrogance + desperation. to be right/loved (daddy issues fr) that lead to him making terribleee choices which blowback on everybody else worse than it does him. (the funny part is that CW is one of my favs of the MCU, but it's more of an Avengers. movie than a Cap one & you can clearly see that with Tony's mess driving the conflict) 🫤 And you knowwww as soon. as the Accords or something else decided to push back/sanction his suits of mass destruction, he'd have had a total bitch fit about it cause the only side Tony is ever on is his. side. 😒  But do not get me S T A R T E D on how Peter is so. intrinsically tied to Tony because the movies were so obsessed with forcing him onto us cause he almost ruins Tom's tenure as the character. Like why can we not ESCAPE this mfer in what should be THE Spiderman's involvement in the MCU. 🖕 (no, please, keep going cause we have like the.same.exact. takes here & I could go on forever about these thoughts cause fuck Tony Stank fr; veryyy much hope for the best for future Spiderman movies cause Tom deserves to never. have to deal with the ~Iron Man Junior™~ shit ever again)
(okayyy, very much see the vision in that (even if I'm mostly unfamiliar with Supernatural) maybe you should send the link to me 🫣) Just unfortunate that she ended up like that 💔 And he wants you to swallow all of it. 💦💦💦
(also, weird is good @ smuts. how weird we talking? 🫣)
what is tumblr on i just hit “enter” to put a note up here at the top and my entire response to the first part disappeared😭 lemme speed run this reply since tumblr decided to silence me.
The manhandling omfg🫣 and yesss ugh I hate that 5 is such a “return to form” when Scream shouldn’t be aspiring to do that. 6 is even worse with it someone being nothing like 2, yet sharing so many similarities with 2 it’s painful to watch. I’m definitely talking myself into Hughie/Quaid🤭 nerds I guess… and yeah I hate that they cut Tara+Amber and just made Amber all crazy and psycho like a worse version of Mickey/Stu/etc. So true about the growth, I can definitely see the lack of emotional stakes as 6’s reveal happens, because Sam is kind of just like “it was you..🧍‍♀️” without any real revelation. It feels hollow compared to the “damn.. it was them.” that even the audience felt upon 1/2’s reveal. And I completely can see that about 4’s mask, same for H20’s. I just wish they weren’t trying to remind us that he was human under the mask, because the black eyes are hot a good reminder that he loses than humanity upon wearing the mask (my favorite theory is that the mask he wore as a kid and the Michael mask were both made by Silver Shamrock. maybe a prototype before the ones that melter their heads skskshs.) John>>>> he could get it Im sorry I know the haircut’s silly but still… best final boy
Oh, trust me, I used to be such a big spiderman fan (Holland bias>>> mostly because I was like 13/14 when Civil War came out (god it’s been too long to remember) so I was around the same age as Peter when he entered the MCU. definitely helped contribute to my awakening🤩 when I knew I was gay and/or bi but couldn’t define it yet) Though, I did see TASM 1 in theaters too, but I was a few years younger and don’t have as much of an attachment to that movie that I do with CW and HC respectively, but I love Andrew’s version all the same. The only one that can be excluded is Tobey’s, replace his with insomniac Spiderman and then boom. Trifecta of the best Spidermen. One thing I really love in Garfield’s movies is that, even though he is buff, it felt of-his-age buff and not like his job is to be a full time bodybuilder. Don’t get me wrong, I love Tom beefing up for NWH, but I like how he was skinnier in CW/HC (but was still buff to an almost unrealistic point. Still, i’d let him pound me in those eras. The way all Peter Parker’s (minus tobey) are nerds with big dicks>>>) I’ll definitely share some Spidey ideas (because i have sm drafts of old ones i never went through on writing because man was i obsessed w/tom’s for a while), though!! He’s always been a favorite. And yesss ugh Wally would be make those lockers rattle with how hard he’s thrusting🫣
(Lmaooo for real, gotta keep him talking to hear that stuff that’ll push you over the edge🫣) they’re both competing for that cumshot sksjs
So true, Wanda deserved sm better and I’m glad she got to be powerful in MOM, just wish it hadn’t come at the expense of other character’s intelligence. Exactly!! If RDJ wasn’t there to sell the character better I wouldn’t be able to stand him one bit. And I totally agree, he had no real reason to be that paranoid. I’m fine with a selfish character, but it’s soooo inconsistent on who he wants to help and who he doesn’t. Plus, he ever gets called out on it, and when he does, he’s always treated as in the right for being the way that he is. CW was the chance to make him grow and change, but they fumbled soooo many characters in that movie. Thankfully, Steve and Bucky come out pretty unscathed in terms of writing (and we get STEVE WITH A BEARD IN IW AS A RESULT.) So true about Tony’s involvement with Peter. I don’t hate the fact that he’s tied to him in CW, because they need some reason to connect him to the plot for the scenes he’s in… but damn. Homecoming would not let go of Tony, and while I do like this version of Peter being absolutely adorable, him being an Avengers fanboy and Iron Man fan (after being confirmed to be that kid in IM2) it feels like overkill. Like, we get it, he’s a fan. They can still have this dynamic so bad if they want it but it should be kept to crossover movies, not ones where Peter is supposed to be the lead. (Plus, it reminds me of how much I hate Hollywood. RDJ was in the movie for 10 minutes max yet got paid more than Holland for his work on the entire first movie?? Crazy.) And don’t get me started on Starker. Just, gross. Not even like the father/son dynamic being pushed, just the fact that Tony was such a manipulator of Peter’s willingness to help people. Glad we’re on the same page about that. I think mf Mysterio was better for Peter than Tony ever was just saying. So glad that trilogy of movies is over, though and we can move to something else soon.
Yeah, of course! I was just rereading and notice it wasn’t the best but here ya go Ao3 link Yesss ugh I was hoping she’d do it till she was to old to continue doing it because she was so inventive about it. Omg and I will fr🤭
Okay, so I’m writing the sleepover fic. It’s definitely more build-up with some fluff and angst over anything else, but now i’m getting to them actually going to sleep and I just… don’t know how weird/smutty I should make the smut. I tried to make the escalation to their feelings and knowing the other is interested not be too out of left field. They should hopefully be pretty reasonable when you read them, but now I’m at the part of the fic where the PJ pants come off… and just.. how weird do you want it? I was gonna keep it kinda tame to test the waters and all since it’s like the first “bigger” ask of yours that i’ve written, but given what we’ve be talking about..🤭 got any specific kinks/preferences for Wally? I know I was asking last week about them buttt🫣
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Marvel characters with s/o more badass than them !
characters included : tony, bruce, nat, thor, bucky, steve, wanda
warnings : fem reader, mentions of killing, murder etc, swearing, mentions of sex & sexual tings 😳✋
tony stark —
he thinks youre so hot
which of course is true
and if anyone tries to rub it in that you’re more capable and badass than him he won’t even deny it.
will hands down agree
is your number one fan
you’ve got your own specially customised to your liking super suit :)
you two are so hot
fighting hoes and still looking flawless
and ohh bitch
*fuck boy face*
you with your preferred weapon of choice, killing people left and right makes this man feel some typa wayyyy
everyone has no doubt in their mind to how to how you bagged tony
they’re all wondering how he bagged you.
bruce banner —
my mans is SHOOKETH
he always knew you were exceptionally talented in your line of work
i mean how could he not? you had literal fans left right & centre, even nick fury was impressed with you
so he didn’t really know what to expect
BUT it certainly wasn’t that.
you were so talented it honestly made bruce feel inferior yet in complete awe of you simultaneously
he’s SUCH a worrier tho
like it’s both cute & annoying
yknow?
always always always checking for injuries
as soon as you walk through the door, he’s immediately up and over to you and checking for any injuries
the smallest cut? hello first aid kit.
the most barely noticeable injury? he’s seen it as soon as you walked in.
hulk loves you, too
youse two r are literally unstoppable together
natasha romanoff —
now imma be fr..
who can be more badass than miss natasha romanoff?
that’s right, the only correct answer, no one.
so we’re just gonna put y’all at equal badassery
HOTTEST MF DUO
pls half the squad gotta take a moment to recollect themselves from the affect of both of your combined hotness
the media is all over you two
& EVERYONE is thirsting over you both
understandably so
you’re always each other’s partner for missions
and that’s just how it’s always going to be bc you guys work best together
everyone thinks you two can talk telepathically at this point
silent looks exchanged and you already have a whole plan
all in all the two of you take missions very seriously
& everyone respects that
however.. there are times were youse two just can’t help it so you snog while fighting off whatever the fuck it is this time
nobody says shit tho bc they’re fully frightened of the both of you
scariest hottest duo 😁
thor odinson —
he called it the moment he saw you
you just looked like someone that no one should mess with, and he admires that
HOWEVER
thinking it and seeing it in action are two very different things
let’s say on a mission, he’ll see you fighting and dodging and killing all while having a battle of sarcastic quips with tony over the comms
literally in awe of you
will stop and stare with literal heart eyes
will shower you in endless compliments
tony has almost blasted him out of the compound multiple times cuz in EVERY single sentence he says, he adds compliments for you.
will proudly boast about your abilities
‘yes, you must know of lady y/n, the best avenger if i do say so, i’m not quite sure how ive managed to get her to court me’
‘yes this is my partner, lady y/n, im sure you’ve heard of her’
cue smug, proud smile
the cutest <3
bucky barnes —
he’s quite sure he’s never been more turned on
seeing you, his girl, in action— fighting effortlessly and just being your badass self really gets him feeling stuff, man
like to the point he’s almost drooling tbh
you : 🦵🍑 him : 👁👅👁
in his mind, you > everyone else
no but he’s genuinely very proud of you and is, too, in awe of your fighting abilities
thinks youre so awesome and just amazing, and doesn’t understand how someone like you can love someone like him
the two of you make for scariest couple hands down
tho according to nat there’s not much competition cuz only one person in tony & peppers relationship is scary ( spoiler: it’s pep )
he always finds a way to compliment you— and most the time, the compliments are not acceptable cause we are all holy children here 👰‍♂️
taking care of each other’s wounds >>>
the sexiest sexiest duo 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️
steve rogers —
🧱⬆️
if you understood that.. no you didn’t.
he’s so fducking in awe of you bby
the way you just effortlessly dodge and fight and how you think quickly on your feet—
and not to sound pervy, pls steeb is such a gentleman
but the WAY your body moves when you fight, like how all your movements are so graceful and just—
ugh. you’re perfection <3
obviously bae stays professional on the battlefield of whateva. he’s captain amercia for ... ducks sake
but he shyly compliments you after, DEFINITELY with a cute rosy blush on his cheeks
the ones on his face, i mean.
silently convinced you’re another of thor’s long lost sisters of something
you’re just too unreal to be human
in ALL aspects
wink wonk
wanda maxipadmoff —
the most concerned cute gf
knows you can handle yourself but that isn’t gonna stop her from being concerned
always there to clean and tend to your wounds when necessary <33
not that it’s necessary often cuz you don’t get injured that often
thinks you’re extremely cool
like extremely extremely cool
shyly asks you to teach her
her small little ADORABLE smile omg stop she’s so cute i cant
the two of you together >>>>>>>
probably the most shipped couple ( by the public ) of the avengers
bc of your little moments in battle that they get to see on tv :((
she’ll fly you up somewhere, arms around you bridal style and she’s holding you with so much love & care OR your on her back, head on her shoulder
and you thank her with a tender kiss & a wink with makes her brain momentarily fuzzy and noticeably red
or when you and her team up and the constant worry and intimate care for each other which is so plainly obvious
even through a tv screen
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happy 200! i’m so glad to see your blog grow, it’s one of my favorites and i adore all your writing. i’ve never cried so much and i love the kind of unsettling feeling you write in your fics, it’s perfect in the category of yandere and dark content. in particular, i loved your drabble about shigaraki mourning over a dead reader and i’ve reread that one too many times to count haha! as for asks for headcannons and drabbles, it would be amazing to see that with bully!eren especially since he was such an awful person to the reader. i’d love to see him suffer honestly, but if you don’t want to write it, that’s completely fine! once again, i’m so proud of you for hitting 200! that’s such a huge milestone and hopefully, there will be many more in the future! :)
SYNOPSIS: bully!Eren has to navigate the world without you.
Pairing: Bully!Eren x Fem!Reader
A/N: I can't even explain in words how much I CHEESED at this message like my grin was ear to ear. can't explain how many times I read this. It singlehandedly made my day anon, and to repay you for my happiness....here is some angst. this is a slightly different route than the shiggy one but I hope it still suits you <3
TW: mentions of death, past dubcon/noncon, mentions of trauma, bullying, alcohol addiction, drunk driving, abusive behavior, revenge porn, nonconsensual photography/videography, mentions of infidelity, angst, so much of angst, violent behavior
WC: 2.5k
It's not like Eren had been doing a lot of soul-searching. He's not delusional enough to label his half-assed epiphany of "maybe I'm a shitty person" as soul searching.
It's just the conversation with his very sick mother burned holes through the back of his mind. Carla had asked about you and why you don't come by the house anymore. How she missed baking with you in the kitchen, and how you sweetly smiled whenever you would see soft creamy peaks form in the meringue.
Eren felt like he was swallowing needles as he assured his mother with false truths, that nothing was going on and distance between childhood friends is natural, and if it means so much--ok ok he'll bring you over.
He stays until he sees her chest slowly rising and falling into a gentle asleep. He touches the tip of his ears, unsurprised by how hot it was.
Eren, when you tell a lie, the tips of your ears turn red.
You're not at school the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.
Guilt is not an emotion he feels often but the events of the past weekend replay in his mind. It was just a dumb party that Floch threw, and he was surprised to find you cornered by a trio of thee dunderheads. Like a distorted fairytale, he swept you away from the bad guys like a knight in shining armor, to only shove you in an empty room and demand compensation for playing hero.
Fuck, with that big mouth, you would think that you'd know how to suck cock.
Use your tongue stupid slut. If you use teeth, I'll shove this dick in your ass without any prep.
No, I don't care, you're taking all of it.
There's a video on his camera roll. How could he not record it? You're sobbing, mascara running down your cheeks, looking so beautiful and ruined with jizz smeared at the corner of your mouth. He was brutally fucking your mouth, making you take all of his length.
Breathe through your nose dumb whore. Or else you're gonna run out of air.
You were pleading with whatever garbled sounds you were constricted into producing.
Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.
Eren is conflicted with muting the video because he can't stand to hear himself like that. But he didn't want to miss out on your pitiful whines.
He remembers the distraught expression on your face when he was finally done with you. He tucked himself inside, and sneered, "I've got a girl coming here. Get lost." You looked so fucking distraught. Why? All he did was make you suck his dick. He didn't even fuck you.
He should have. Eren thinks grimly when he stares at your empty desk on the first day you didn't show up to school. He's gotten off to the video more than enough times than he can count over the weekend, and he was aching to see your pretty face twisted into a terrorized expression when he flipped up your skirt to grope your ass.
Kindly, Eren decides he'd allow you to have a rest day. But the second day, Eren pays a visit to your house finding it dark and locked, like no one was home and hadn't been there for a while.
On the third day, you're declared missing.
Your incompetent workaholic mother who finally came home and decided to give a damn reported you missing to the authorities who had scratched their heads because as far as they knew, the pivotal 72 hours were up.
Paradis was surrounded by forests. No one wanted to say it, but they were all thinking it. If you got lost in there, chances are you wouldn't make it out.
Eren wasn't always this admired and fawned over. He had his fair share of behavioral issues that frightened people (not you though, not then at least, not when you were children, and you still came back every day to play).
But when he channeled that anger into sports, there was somewhat of a star in the making, especially for some small-town boy. He was becoming extremely popular, and that's nice and all, but at the end of the day, he has a mother whose health was taking a sharp decline. He was constantly under stress, stress that he took out on you.
Where did his favorite stress-ball go?
It's all fucking surreal. Having detectives in the school. Not that there were many students to question (because christ, did you even have any friends after Eren turned everyone against you?).
Eren was questioned. He can't help but mirthfully chuckle. Maybe this was your grand plan, maybe you were able to finally sort out a mountain of evidence against him. If you were going to fuck him over, didn't you want to see it happen with your own two eyes?
The dark-haired boy wishes that was true. If you had gotten your revenge, would you be here? No, revenge isn't the right word. If you got any justice for what he made you suffer, would you come back?
Hi, I'm Detective Hange. I would like to ask you some questions today. You're Eren Yeager, right?
Yes, that's me.
How do you know ___?
We were childhood friends. We're uh, we're not as close anymore.
When was the last time you saw her?
Friday night at Floch's party-
-Floch Forster right? There were a number of kids there from your school.
Yeah. It was a big party. She uh, doesn't usually come to parties but she was there that night.
You were the last person to be seen with her. Other kids have said that they saw you and her entering a room together, and then only her leaving the said room.
[Sigh] Yeah we sorta...hooked up.
I thought you said you guys weren't close anymore.
You can be not close to someone and still hook up with them.
But you guys were close once right?
Yeah. Once.
The dark-haired boy asks if he was under any suspicion. The detective waves their hand in a dismissive gesture, “If her diary tells us anything, it’s only that she really liked you.”
Were detectives even allowed to divulge that sort of information? Eren doesn’t know but the stray detail that they offered off-handedly made him feel like he was swallowing needles.
At that point, Eren honestly still doesn't believe you're gone. You had a habit of running away, even when you were little kids, but you always came back.
Still, he participates in the search parties with a renewed vigor, even going alone in the forest with a flashlight on most nights.
And he's just so fucking tired. The darkest crevice of his mind almost wishes you were dead because this ignorance was just agony. Almost. Because he still clings to the feeling that one day, he’ll stroll into class and find you in your seat in the back of the class, looking out the window like some cliche shojo manga protagonist.
There are folders and folders on his phone. Albums. The most recent one is dedicated to your crying face as you were choking on his dick. Earlier albums are composed of creepshots of your panties, of that obscene o-face, of your skirt flipped up and your ass cheeks, pictures of your cleavage, videos of you thrashing as he dunked your head into toilets like a villainous middle school bully.
Pictures of your neck covered in hickeys, your naked breasts, ass cheeks striped with red after getting spanked, your leaking cunt, just endless and endless media dedicated to pieces and pieces of your body like you were never a whole person.
The earliest ones though tell a different tale, from off-guards to your drooling face as you napped in the middle of the day.
He has a favorite picture. Your eyes are watery from the cold, snowflakes stuck between lashes, nose and cheeks flushed red, and you're smiling. Smiling right to the camera. Right at him.
"Eren, are you taking a picture?" You asked, bouncing in place, giddy that it was finally snowing.
"Not of you, shut up. Get out of the way." His voice is gruff but not harsh.
You laughed and jumped into frame anyway, and the bright streetlamp behind you made you seem like you were wearing a halo.
He wishes he had more pictures of you being...yourself. Because now your crying face displayed over countless pixels haunt him. But like a fucking degenerate, he still jerks off to all the nudes he coerced from you. Sometimes he cries when he's jerking off which is probably the most pathetic thing he's ever done. This is what you've reduced him to.
He hates the sound of his own voice.
Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.
Eren goes through the motions of life without really feeling like he's in the moment. Seasons change and time flies. His mother dies, and his withdrawn father dies a year later. He proposes to Mikasa because it's something he was always supposed to do. She loves him unconditionally, so even when he doesn't put any effort into the relationship but proposes, she says yes hoping he'll change and be a good husband.
He doesn't go to his parents' funerals because they're already dead. What's the point. He doesn't visit the candlelight vigils in your honor either. After tearing his ACL again and a somewhat traumatic injury, he kisses his pro-football career goodbye. To be totally honest, he's relieved. Because he had gotten quite bored, and maybe he was looking for excuses to quit the entire time. It's not like you'd be cheering on the bleachers anyways.
Mikasa has an affair, more out of a desire to see her fiancé feel something for her as opposed to any burning lust. But when she asks him if he's ever cared at all, with tears springing out of her eyes, he's just calmly drinking his fifth of whisky.
The dark-haired man doesn't even look up, "Let's break up."
"Is this about her, huh? Fucking get over it already Eren. She's GONE. And you have some big fucking audacity moping about her death like you weren't making her cry in the bathroom stalls every fucking day you piece of shit."
"Get out."
"You know what, I bet she killed herse-"
SMASH
The dark-haired woman doesn't finish her rant because the whiskey bottle smashes on the wall next to her head, sending glass everywhere and staining the carpet amber. She's unharmed, knowing it wasn't Eren's intention to hit her but Jesus Christ, what a monster.
She packs her bags and leaves the town like she should have a long time ago. All her friends had left years before and she stayed behind because that's where Eren was. She thanks her lucky stars that they didn't marry.
It's funny because he had always imagined himself being the first to move out of their small town, but he's the one staying. He can't leave this place. feels too tethered to ever leave. Every diner and liquor store is saturated with memories of you. He remembers buying cigarettes and exhaling the smoke to your face to piss you off in empty parking lots.
Maybe he stays in case you'll come back.
Eren's days consist of alcohol-fueled hazes. He doesn't know how his liver is still functioning. He doesn't know he's still alive after crashing his car into a tree when he was drunk out of his mind. He was on his way to get some more vodka.
He barely recognizes himself in the mirror anymore, not that he looks at himself much. His hair is long, nestled around his shoulder because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, dark circles under viridian eyes, and a perpetual stubble on his jaw.
His parents had left quite a sizable inheritance so there's no need to work but he's good with his hands. Likes crafting up birdhouses and cabinets, and occasionally does odd jobs around the neighborhood, never charging the elderly.
He's under the sink, tinkering with a wrench against the pipes when he hears the old lady coo at him.
"We're so lucky to have you Eren. I'm surprised a handsome young man like yourself doesn't have a special lady. The girls must be lining up at your door!"
The dark-haired man winces, and offers no comment, knowing that that the older lady was susceptible to long tangents.
"You know, we're getting a new neighbor." Eren grunts as a response. "They're young, I've heard. Isn't that exciting? Oh my, Eren! I think they're gonna be living in the house right next to yours..."
He tunes out the rest of the conversation because doesn't really care. He just hopes his new neighbors are quiet.
It's Sunday noon when obnoxious noises of moving trucks and people wake him up from his deep slumber. Eren's annoyed to wake up despite the fact he's probably been sleeping over 15 hours. He oscillates between getting too much sleep and getting none, his sleeping habits completely dependent on his dreams.
His nightmares are too visceral, visions of your corpse asking him if he'd enjoyed hollowing your soul with his teeth.
His dreams are achingly sweet. You in your prom gown, shining so iridescently like diamonds were sewn into the silk. He's dancing with you, holding you close, and then after you guys go to your favorite diner and gorge on burgers and milkshakes.
There's a peal of distinctly feminine laughter that stirs up Eren's senses. He's so pathetic, was the mere sound of a woman laughing getting him excited?
He sighs. He thinks of the whore he's frequently visited because of her resemblance to you. Hair color, skin color, face shape--with enough alcohol, he could really convince the person beneath him, was you. Maybe it's time to give her a call, but she's gotten so fucking needy and he hated how her voice didn't match yours.
The green-eyed man peers from the lace curtains, irritated by the brats playing on his lawn. A full family next door? Great, just what he needs.
The friendly knock on his door breaks him out of his daze. He contemplates whether he should answer but on the second more muted knock, he lets his feet guide him.
He turns the knob.
And Eren Yeager completely shatters.
Because it's you isn't it? You're the person standing in front of him? He can hear what you're saying but he doesn't really register it, soaking in the cadence of a voice he had long forgotten because all he had were pleading whimpers and frenzied moans stored on his cell.
He's shaking. Is he dreaming? He's dreaming, right? He knows it's you. You're older, far more beautiful than he's ever seen you. You have a different hairstyle, wearing clothes he would have mocked you for, and there's this joyfulness within you that makes you glow.
There's a mess of emotions electrifying in the pits of his stomach from euphoria, anger, and dread. He could feel his skin growing clammy like he was about to vomit at any second.
"Hey, are you all right?"
Doe eyes full of concern peer up at him. He voices out the syllables of your name like a desperate prayer.
You tilt your head to the side, "How do you know my name?"
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meyhew · 3 years
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i don't really see the books the way you see it, like alina spends the whole entire series (book 2 and 3 especially) running away from maly. she talks and talks again about how they're in the past and that she's not that girl anymore and then leigh bardugo must have a problem with character development because she erases that completely with the ending of the series. alina goes from boring to growth to boring again. and i don't even ship darklina btw, i just think would be neat if the series was about alina going dark side and doing hot evil girl shit.
well anon... you picked the wrong girl to send this to because i simply cannot and will not let you say that alina spends the trilogy running away from mal. you mentioned books 2 and 3 specifically so here u go. 
s&b ends with: 
“I thought that I’d given up on Mal. I thought the love I’d had for him belonged to the past, to the foolish, lonely girl I never wanted to be again. I’d tried to bury that girl and the love she’d felt, just as I’d tried to bury my power. But I wouldn’t make that mistake again. Whatever burned between us was just as bright, just as undeniable. The moment our lips met, I knew with pure and piercing certainty that I would have waited for him forever.”
“They are orphans again, with no true home but each other.” 
siege & storm:
I rested my ironbound hands against his chest and closed my eyes. We Were alone on an icy sea, prisoners of a man who could literally make monsters, yet somehow I believed. I leaned into him, and for the first time in days, I let myself hope.” 
[Nikolai] dropped his hand. “[Mal] doesn’t belong here.” He belongs with me, I wanted to shout.
“Mal isn’t weak.”  “He’s gifted, I grant you, but no Grisha. He can never be your equal.”  “He’s my equal and more,” I spat. 
“You were like a stranger, Alina. Beautiful,” he said. “Terrible.” “It won’t happen again. The fetter is a part of me now, like my lungs or my heart.”  “Your heart,” he said flatly.” I took his hand in mine and pressed it against my chest. “It’s still the same heart, Mal. It’s still yours.” 
“‘I never felt like I fit anywhere either,’” I admitted. Except with Mal. I pushed the thought away.”
“I have loved you all my life, Mal. There is no end to our story”
may i now present to you alina & darkles in ruin & rising: 
“I sought Morozova amplifiers for you Alina, so that we can rule as equals.”  “You tried to take my power for your own.”  “After you ran from me. After you chose—” He stopped, shrugged. “We would have ruled as equals in time.”  
and then more from r&r: 
“Whatever fragile, lovely thing had existed between us belonged to two other people—people who weren't bound by duty and responsibility—and I wasn't sure what remained. And still I wanted him to put his arms around me, I wanted to hear him whisper my name in the dark, I wanted to ask him to stay.”
“I caught myself before I could rub my thumb over my scar. ‘I dont know.’” Despite everything that had happened, I wanted to keep Mal near. That wouldn’t be fair to either of us.” 
“‘He’ll do it anyway,” said Mal. ‘You said so yourself. He’ll find a reason.’ ‘I might buy us some time—’  ‘At what cost? You were willing to give up your life,’ he said quietly. ‘Why won’t you let me do the same?’ ‘Because I can’t bear it.’”
“I wasn’t interested in a fair fight, not if there was a chance I could save Mal’s life.” 
“I felt as I always had in his arms—complete, like I was home.”
the problem with only wanting “hot evil girl shit” is that you leave no room for nuance. alina’s story isn’t about her becoming evil, with or without the darkling—it wouldnt happen without him. her story is about overcoming the greed for power that consumes men. her story is about surviving the man who enslaved her for her powers and choosing to build a life with the one person who has known her as alina and as the Sun Saint—the one person who has loved her as both. darkles sparkles tries and very nearly succeeds in taking everything from alina. her story is NOT about her becoming another version of him. alina’s story is not about her becoming evil and feeling superior because she isn’t the darkling. she stands for everything he isn’t. 
having two amplifiers on her body and mal holding her other hand makes her feel power so intensely that it’s painful for her. it’s fucking overwhelming. alina would not have kept her sanity had she killed mal and worn three amplifiers. she would not have been able to survive the extent of her own power. you’re looking for negative character development and there are stories that can give you that, but s&b isn’t one of them and for very good reasons. alina doesn’t go from “boring to growth to boring again.” she goes from being an orphan to being a saint she never asked to be to living a well deserved peaceful life with the love of her life. that isn’t boring; that’s the soft epilogue leigh set out to write from book one when she started her story with “the girl and the boy.” 
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ateezyuri · 2 years
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a to z with . . . yuri !
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a is for ... “ATINY are the prettiest and most loveliest people in the world...i love you more than my cats!”
b is for ... “BITCH, you better be joking.” “never quote euphoria again.”
c is for ... “CATS are forever superior. i don’t care if leo keeps knocking your stuff down! he does it to show his love! hONGJOONG DO NOT THREATEN MY CHILD!”
d is for ... “DUDE — i am just trying to summon good vibes, i am NOT trying to hex wooyoung...why would you say that?”
e is for ... “ENOUGH of this madness!! if i hear the ponytail song ONE more time, i will rip someone’s head off.”
f is for ... “FRIENDS who really love you will deal with you even if you are being the most annoying or most overdramatic person ever. ateez deals with me all the time — so i think that they are my best friends.”
g is for ... “GUYS, GUYS, GUYS! will you PLEASE stop trying to manhandle me? LET ME WIN PLEASE, WHEN HAVE I EVER WRONGED YOU?”
h is for ... “HONGJOONG said i wasn’t allowed to attempt to murder my members...but hongjoong isn’t here so you better choose your last words wisely!”
i is for ... “I’M DRUNK IN THE BACK OF THE CAR, AND I CRIED LIKE A BABY COMING HOME FROM THE BAR, SAID ‘I’M FINE’ BUT IT WASNT TRUE — I DONT WANNA KEEP SECERTS JUST TO KEEP YOU AND I SNUCK IN THROUGH THE GARDEN GATE EVERY NIGHT THAT SUMMER JUSTER TO SEAL MY FATE — AND I SCREAMED FOR WHATEVER IT’S WORTH — I LOVE YOU AINT THAT THE WORST THING YOUVE EVER HEARD?”
j is for ... “JOKES on you, i already cry myself to sleep every night — so your comment didnt mean shit to me!”
k is for ... “KILLING eve is one of the best t.v series ever. i would let eve and villanelle run me over and call it a day.” “YURI?!?” “I WAS JOKING!”
l is for ... “LETS be honest...i AM the hottest person in the room right now.”
m is for ... “MINT chocolate chip icecream is for hot people only — if you don’t like it then...sucks to suck i guess.”
n is for ... “NEVER thought i would say this...but wooyoung is right, for once.”
o is for ... “ORIGINALLY, i was going to tell jongho i loved him. but now it’s time to unlock phase two — blackmail him.” “YURI NO—"
p is for ... “PAIN. all i feel is pain.”
q is for ... “QUICK! spit in yunho’s drink! i’m not doing it — you can face his wrath, and if he asks, i had nothing to do with this.”
r is for ... “RESPECTFULLY fuck off if you dont like taylor swift, this is NOT a safe spot for taylor swift haters. end of discussion.”
s is for ... “SANNIE is just like a little kitten, he’ll come up to me, lean his head down and ask for head pets. somedays i just want to put him in a chokehold and give him all the loves.” “you mean a hug?” “yeah that too.”
t is for ... “TEEZERS? are you calling us teezers because we always spoil?” “you mean YOU always spoil?” “....what makes you say that?”
u is for ... “UNTIL you give me a valid reason on why i should not self sabotage tonight — i am going to do it. and telling me my therapist wouldnt be proud is NOT going to do it.”
v is for ... “VERY bold of you to assume i know how to do basic math — i got held back a year for a reason.”
w is for ... “WHENEVER i think i have it bad (living with boys), i remember others have it worse.” “who?” “lottie.”
x is for ... “XOXO, a mentally ill bitch.”
y is for ... “YUQI is my favorite person in the world, she’s my girl — she’s my best friend! i love her so so so much, i don’t know what i’d do without her.”
z is for ... “ZOOM in on hongjoong, doesn’t he look so cute right now?” “do you have a death wish?” “i’m not scared of no man, especially not joongje, LOOK HOW SOFT HE LOOKS!”
tags: @chaerincore @atzaria @softieteez @ateezjuliet @lunarxsun @m00niesk7 @filmyoongs @shinyddeonghwa
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tressasinterlude · 3 years
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𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓 #𝟑: Female Public Figures Dating Men with Questionable Views That Contradict Their Image & Alleged Politics
𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗖𝗟𝗔𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗥: These rant blog posts are really just reflective of my thoughts at the time that I make them and are posted here because I need an outlet to release all of this shit I have going on my busy ass mind. That’s it and that’s all. Now let’s get into it..
This rant was greatly inspired by none other than Ms. Robyn Rihanna “Tell Your Faves To Pull Up [in regards to social injustices directly affecting black people]” Fenty and her openly colorist boyfriend, A$AP Rocky. Aside from the fact that Rihanna tends to slip under the radar and is never held accountable for her problematic ways due to her conventional beauty (i.e. Her heavy usage of anti-Asian slurs, particularly targeted towards Chris Brown’s ex gf, Karrueche), it’s very alarming that a woman who has an entire makeup brand with a campaign based around the inclusivity of ALL black women is publicly flaunting a beau who once said that DSBW do not look good with red lipstick.
And yes, I’m very much aware that Rakim said this tasteless comment over 8 years ago but from the looks of it, not much has really changed with him. Don’t @ me about it neither because I don’t care.
Also peep how he compares a hypothetical darkskinned woman to a man (Wesley Snipes) while trying to explain how his antiblackness isn’t wrong because he said something about white women as well. Gaslighting at its finest. Don’t you just love it! 😀
Furthermore, you would think that somebody of Rihanna’s level of stature would know not to associate themselves with someone as messy as A$AP Rocky but... Stupid is what stupid does, I guess! I can’t even begin to place the blame on him anymore because he’s revealed his true colors and we all have made the deliberate choice to either accept it or don’t and have discontinued all support for him. Unfortunately, misogynoir is never the dealbreaker for most people and the hatred for [dark-skinned] black women is so engrained in society that it’s frowned upon when we publicly speak out against it. Very ass backwards if you ask me but that’s society for you. Now, enough about that. Let’s focus back on Ms. Vita La Coco.
As a woman who claims to be a girl’s girl and is always presenting herself to be someone who is the epitome of a pro-black feminist bad ass, it just makes her alleged activism come off so disingenuous when she’s also laying down with the same man that actively attacks the demographic she’s supposed to be standing in solidarity with. It’s “Black Lives Matter” on the IG posts but your vagina is getting moist for a man who openly stated he doesn’t relate to what goes on in Ferguson because he lives in Soho & Beverly Hills. Ferguson being the exact place where a 17-year-old black boy’s lifeless corpse laid on the hot concrete for FOUR hours after he was murdered by a police officer. He couldn’t 'relate' to the fate of so many black men, women, and children who are murdered or seriously injured from state-sanctioned violence because they’re poor and he is not or so he thought.
But then again, what can I really expect from a woman who identified as being “biracial” until as recent as roughly 6 years ago? What can I really expect from a woman who called Rachel Dolezal a ‘hero’ for cosplaying as a black woman? I’d be lying if I said my expectations for her were high in this regard because sis has always shown us she was lacking in this department. And just for the record, this is not a personal attack on Rihanna at all for the die-hard Navy stans in the back. I admire her latest fashions and bop my head to her music just like the next person but she’s getting the side-eye from me on this one.
Trust and believe me though, she’s not the only woman who I can call out for being a hypocrite. Of course not! This stone can be cast at a few others. So without further ado, why don’t we bring Ms. Kehlani Parrish to the front of the congregation? Prior to Kehlani’s recent declaration of identifying as a lesbian, her last public relationship with a man was with YG. Yes, the same YG who felt it was necessary to say him & Nipsey had ‘pretty light-skinned’ daughters to raise in the middle of his deceased friend’s memorial. By the way, Nipsey’s daughter is not even light (or at least not in my book anyways.) She’s a very deep caramel tone just like her father which makes what he said even more moronic. Yes, the same YG who thought it was clever idea to use slavery as an aesthetic for a music video to a diss track about 6ix9ine. And yes, also the same YG who has derogatory lyrics targeted at bisexual women. Just to end up sweating the red carpets with one. I swear the jokes just continue to write themselves.
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This raises the question once more; How high of a pedestal can I really put a multiracial woman who has a song titled ‘N*ggas’ and when received backlash for the song in question, she used the ultimate ‘I’m mixed’ copout while not having a visibly black parent in sight?
It’s also kind of suspicious to me that many were not privy to Kehlani’s secret romance with Victoria Monét (pictured bottom right) until Victoria did an interview with Gay Times revealing she fell in love with a girl but they subsequently broke up because Victoria had a boyfriend and that girl was pregnant in a polyamorous relationship. Fans began to speculate because both Victoria & Kehlani previously candidly spoke about their sexual orientations, Kehlani had just had Adeya and they both were seemingly close. Their short-lived fling would later be confirmed when Victoria released the song ‘Touch Me’ on her last project and Kehlani hopped on the remix. Meanwhile, Kehlani’s relationship with Shaina (pictured bottom left) was very overt and all over her Instagram feed from my recollection. And as you can see, Shaina looks absolutely nothing like Victoria. They look like the complete opposite of eachother in every aspect which is kind of alarming(?) to say the least because why is it that the women she proudly claims as her partners tend to have a very racially ambiguous look such as herself but her ‘sneaky links’ on the other hand are undoubtedly black women? Again, it could just be me jumping conclusions. You know, I’m kinda good for that however something tells me I’m not. Y’all be the judge of the material though.
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Last but not least, I’d like to touch on Ms. Raven Tracy very briefly. I was very weary about even including in this segment and if I should just put her in a entirely separate blog post with other women who openly date abusers despite their checkered past (alongside Nicki Minaj & her r*pist murderer of a husband, India Love & Sheck Wes etc.) being this particular blog post was based around the theme of lightskinned/mixed women dating men with extremely problematic views about DSBW. Raven obviously isn’t lightskinned or mixed however I refused to ignore how contradictory her [former] relationship with an alleged (I used this word very loosely and mainly for legality purposes.) serial r*pist while promoting a brand that is all about feminism & body positivity. This also traces back to A$AP Rocky by default being that Ian Connor is his very close friend and he came to Connor’s defense when several women came forward detailing accounts of Connor allegedly s*xually assaulting them. (I wish I could place the actual video of what A$AP Rocky said verbatim but Tumblr only allows one video per blog post. 🙄)
Back in June of this year, Ian & Raven had a back & forth on Twitter after Ian tweeted about Raven “fucking everybody” behind his back. I can only assume that he was alluding to Tori Brixx posting a video of her ex, Rich the Kid & Raven kissing on her story. Disgusted is not even the word to describe my feeling when she admitted she stuck by Ian despite of his many allegations of s*xual abuse because she loved him and her being a empath causes her to want to help everybody. Imagine aiding and abetting a predator and even paying for his bail & legal fees just to turn around and expect sympathy because this same individual cheated on you and exploited you all over Twitter for the public to see. The same man that you would get back with not even a WEEK after the fact & turn off your IG comments because it isn’t our “business” after making it our business...
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That being said, I just genuinely want to know: Why do these women completely go against what they stand for in regards to these men? Maybe it was never genuine from jump street and if that’s the case, why jump on the bandwagon of performative activism? Is it because it’s profitable right now? Is it because disrespecting black women is not an immediate death sentence to your careers and more often than not actually helps you advance even further? I guess that’s the billion dollar question that’ll never truly be answered. I just want the world to stop using black women as their stepping stool to get to where they need to go and then discarding of us when we’re no longer beneficial. Support us all the way or don’t support us at all. We deal with enough disrespect as is so we’d appreciate if y’all would stop straddling the fence and partake in your misogynoir out loud if that’s what you choose to do. We have no use for fake allyship and quite frankly, it’s doing more harm for us than good. Please and thank you!
Sincerely,
- 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚂 𝙴𝙳𝙶𝙰𝚁 𝙰𝙻𝙻𝙴𝙽 𝙷𝙾𝙴. 💋
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titan-fodder · 3 years
Text
Pyroclastic (Mike Zacharias x Reader)
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Summary: Some would argue that the park is dead, but you know better; it’s livelier than it has been in hundreds of thousands of years, a shuddering, breathing monster finally rising to its feet after an eternity of slumber. Soon, it will open its mouth in an earth-shattering scream, and then, everyone will see.
Not dead; just waking up.
Rating: E (explicit)
Word Count: ~19.5K
Warnings: slow burn, friends to lovers, Eruri, implied Mobuhan, spelling Miche ‘Mike’, swearing, fighting, lots of nerdy shit, explicit sexual content, breeding kink
A/N: This is my contribution to the Smut Pile’s Apocalypse collab. I urge everyone to check out all the pieces on the masterlist. A big thanks to @pleasantanathema​ and @whats-her-quirk​ for being about as excited about this as I was, to @shadowworks​ for always encouraging me when I take on projects too big for my own good, and to @mindninjax​ who volunteered her husband’s expertise on this. I’m pretty proud of this piece and had a blast writing and researching for it. This is by no means scientifically accurate, but I did my best to make it realistic (as in I watched Supervolcano again and spent a lot of time on the USGS website). Also, I have been to Yellowstone exactly one (1) time in my life and was terrified the entire time which is where my fixation with it comes from. 
Enjoy~
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GLOSSARY
Caldera - large basin-shaped volcanic depression with a diameter many times larger than its included volcanic vents; commonly formed when magma is withdrawn or erupted from a shallow, underground magma reservoir.*
Pyroclastic flow - A hot (typically >800 °C), chaotic mixture of rock fragments, gas, and ash that travels rapidly (tens of meters per second) away from a volcanic vent or collapsing flow front.*
Tephra -  pieces of all fragments of rock ejected into the air by an erupting volcano.
VEI - The Volcanic Explosivity Index (VEI) is a relative measure of the explosiveness of volcanic eruptions.*
*definitions taken from USGS website
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4  Y E A R S  B E F O R E 
Levi looks pissed when he’s on screen. He looks pissed all the time, but he looks especially pissed when he’s made to stand in front of pointed cameras and outstretched microphones. 
You can’t blame him; it’s not actually his job to deal with the press, but some years ago, Erwin had twisted his arm this way and that and convinced Levi to take over conferences.
“They understand you better,” he’d said. “You enunciate better than me. We can’t have people misunderstanding me and panicking, can we?” The blond had purposely spoken with an accent thicker than usual, and Levi had called him every name under the sun, but in the end, he’d relented, and now…
“Dr. Ackermann! Dr. Ackermann! Is it true that this has been the largest earthquake in Yellowstone since Hebgen Lake?” 
Levi squints, actually cringes at the question, then waves one of his small, bony hands. “Hebgen Lake was a major quake—7.2 on the Richter scale. This was only a 5.3, and yeah, it’s been a while since the park has had a quake larger than a three, but that doesn’t mean—”
“So, should we be worried about a supereruption?” Another reporter asks, and you clamp a hand over your mouth to keep from laughing as the light leaves your colleague’s eyes. 
Levi’s jaw slides, and he pauses, no doubt to think about how to answer because this is a delicate question, one that the general public always reads extremely far into. He’s good at keeping his expression blank, at least, probably another reason Erwin requested he take over interviews. 
“Listen,” he starts off, slate eyes locking onto the largest camera in front of him. “Yellowstone is a hub of seismic energy. It wouldn’t be the park we know and love today if it wasn’t shaking and letting off steam like it usually does, right?” This gains a few relieved chuckles from the crowd of journalists. 
“Was this earthquake bigger than the ones we’re used to? Yes. Are we monitoring each and every tremor that we pick up? Also, yes. So, don’t make yourself sick worryin’ about sh—stuff you can’t control. We’ll let you know if it’s time to worry.” He sucks his teeth for a second, waiting for his advice to wash over everyone, then adds, “Keep a bug-out bag packed, though. Not because of the volcano or anything. Just because… The world is crazy and so are people, and it’s always good to be prepared.”
They take it as a joke, laugh a little louder as Levi steps down from the podium, but you’ve worked with him long enough to know he had made the comment with serious intent. It’s a lot easier to fly out of town at a moment’s notice when you already have the necessities packed, and though he won't tell them all the facts this early on, there’s a chance that they will eventually have to evacuate, yes. 
“I fucking hate that big, blond bastard,” is the first thing Levi tells you when he’s within earshot, much less well-spoken in casual situations than when his face is being broadcasted. “Voht iff they dunt understahnd me, Lebi?” He mimics your boss badly then pantomimes an uppercut with a dramatic grunt. 
“Why’d you make him sound Russian?”
“I was trying to make him sound stupid ‘cause that’s what he is.”
“I have four doctorates,” Erwin states as he falls into step with both of you, finally moving from his little hiding place behind one of the news trucks. “I’m not stupid. And, I do not sound like that.”
“That’s what you think,” Levi grumbles, doing his best to shrug away from the larger man when Erwin slings an arm around his shoulders. It doesn’t work, and Levi ends up stumbling to keep up with Erwin’s longer strides, which only serves to irritate him further. 
“You looked good up there. I mean, you sounded good. Sounded sure, comforting…” 
You shake your head at Erwin’s obvious struggle to just not be the big weirdo that he is, but it sure is painful to watch sometimes. 
Governor Zachary takes over the conference, leaving the three of you to make your way inside the lodge that the emergency broadcast was set up outside of. Levi and Erwin bicker through the lobby then through the back doors that lead you to the jeep that you all swing yourselves into. 
The sky is still a little dusty with shaken sediment, and some of the park rangers are setting up barricades at the mouths of a couple hiking trails leading to what is now a moderately large crevasse that’s opened up in the Biscuit Basin. 
Other than that, the park doesn’t feel much different as you ride through it on your way back to the lab. The Summer sun brings with it your favorite 70 degree days, and if it weren’t for Erwin’s questionable driving, you’d be tempted to hang half your body out the window just to feel the warmth better. The faint smell of sulfur in the air is soothing at this point—the smell of activity, the smell of science, the smell of home. Geysers are still shooting boiling water to the skies. The mud pots are still bubbling like ominous cauldrons. That earthquake couldn’t have shaken too much out of place if all the geothermal spots are still behaving as they normally do.
The tires kick up rocks and dust as Erwin brakes dramatically outside of the base, right behind another familiar jeep that makes Levi roll his eyes. 
“Great. The boy scout’s here.” 
“Oh, be nice, you little grump,” Erwin chastises him. “Mike’s been nothing but kind to us since he started working here.”
“Yeah, except for the time he misjudged the depth of that puddle and—”
“Splashed you with mud, yeah, yeah, we know, Levi,” you finish for him as you slide out of the vehicle. “You bring it up every time you see the guy. We know.”
“And, didn’t he apologize afterward?” Erwin prompts.
Levi doesn’t answer, but you respond for him: “Profusely. Drove him back to the lab, offered him his spare change of clothes—”
“Useless,” Levi hisses. “The dude’s a giant.”
“Not his fault he’s…” You try not to sound too giddy when you step through the door and see the man in question. “Enormous.” 
You don’t know Mike very well, one of the newer park rangers but with a background in geology which leads him to your neck of the woods very often. The few conversations you have had with him have all been pleasant. He’s soft-spoken but obviously intelligent with good instincts about both the park’s weather and wildlife. 
He’s also the only ranger you’ve seen actually pull off the dorky park uniform, but that could just be because the different shades of green look good against his tan skin and bring out his light eyes. Even taller than Erwin and a little broader too, M. Zacharias (as his little, metal name tag reads) is a slab of a man, and yet, when he grins, it’s almost boyish. 
“Hey, Mike, what’s up?” You greet.
He turns his head to look at you, flipping shaggy hair from his face, then offers one of the soft smiles you were hoping for. “Just came to drop off some samples for Hange.”
“Disgusting,” Levi mutters just for you to hear as he passes, and you shove him hard enough to make him stumble and flip you off. 
“How’d the press conference go?” Hange asks, tossing a small, corked flask of mud from hand to hand—what you assume to be the sample—while twirling in their computer chair. The last member of your team, Moblit Berner, glances away from the holographic model he’s studying to hear the answer. 
“I think it went well,” Erwin says. “Levi handled it like a champion, as always.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere, old man,” the brunet bites out, joining Moblit next to the expensive projection table in the middle of the lab. “What’re we lookin’ at?”
“I’m just running the numbers from today’s quake. The possible effects it had underground.”
“And?”
Moblit is quiet for a beat too long.
“Mobs, what is it?” 
You, Erwin, and Hange make your way over to the table, staring at the laser-lit park model and the chamber underneath it. 
“Well, in most of the scenarios, it’s fine,” Moblit tries. “Nothing to worry about.”
“And, in the others?” 
He looks to Erwin, as everyone does in times of concern. Thick eyebrows pinched together, your boss motions to the hologram. “Show us.”
Moblit punches a few things in on the app he uses to control the model, then takes a deep breath and lets it play out for everyone to see, including Mike who slowly makes his way over, curiosity apparently getting the best of him. 
At first, nothing looks to change, just a living, breathing reenactment of what you were seeing today—every geyser, every fumarole, every little rumble, every minute rise and fall of the ground sped up to be detected with the human eye. 
And then, it stops. 
“Why did it…”
“Just watch,” Moblit shushes you. 
The outline of the ground fractures in several different places, statistics for different earthquakes blinking above. The known vents of the park—every geyser, mudpot, and fumarole—are rendered inactive, and under it all, that massive chamber everyone is always so worried about begins to bulge upward and outward, growing larger and larger until…
The map shorts out, flickering then disappearing entirely, leaving the six of you staring at the space where it was shining just seconds ago. 
“Was that…” 
Erwin inhales deeply through his nose before exhaling the word that will eventually bring the nation to its knees.
"Supereruption."
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3  Y E A R S  B E F O R E
Even through the thick headset, the whir of the helicopter blades is loud, a rhythm pulsing through the air strong enough to be felt in your chest right alongside your beating heart. 
Thankfully, Mike’s deep voice is loud and clear when he speaks, nodding his head to the right, “Look down at about two o’clock.”
You follow his command, tilting your head and peering down at an empty field. 
“I don’t see anything,” you say.
The microphone hanging in front of his mouth picks up his chuckle, and the sound of it echoes in your ears, making you grin albeit a little confused. 
“Exactly. That’s a big spot for bison this time of year.”
“Then why aren’t they here?”
Mike lets the chopper hover for a while, both hands still on their respective control levers. 
“Ground’s been moving too much,” he says after a few seconds of silent staring. You’d known the answer already but hearing the wildlife expert confirm it fills you with a little more dread than you’d originally harbored. “They feel things we don’t, the tiny quakes, the tremors. Stuff you only think the seismograph picks up—they feel all of it.”
“They know what’s coming,” you say more to yourself than to him. 
Mike offers you one of those charming, close-lipped smiles. “When in doubt, trust the animals.” 
A line you’ve heard him say a few times now. Mike loves everything that lives in the park, from all the common lake trout and sand cranes to the endangered grizzly bears and gray wolves. 
Trust the animals, he says. Because he trusts them. Because he loves them. 
“You wanna fly over the Grand Prismatic?” Mike asks, pulling you from your thoughts, and when you look over, you find your reflection in his mirrored aviators as he stares at you. 
His mouth quirks up at the corners, causing yours to do the same, and you nod. “Yeah, always.”
It’s your favorite view in the park, the colorful spring from up above. Mike had learned that a few months ago, and now whenever you ride in the chopper with him, he makes sure to pass over the beautiful attraction just for you.
Nearly 200° Fahrenheit with a pH of 8.7, the pool, while still dangerous due to its temperature, is one of the more moderate dangers of the national park, tame in comparison to the Norris Geyser Basin with temperatures up to 459° (a thousand meters below the surface, anyway) and a pH of about two. It’s dissolved bones—human bones. And, would claim even more if given the chance. 
You suppose that’s expected for a basin that’s sitting over a chamber of 1,500° molten magma. 
The Grand Prismatic is just as stunning today as it is every other. Its outer orange and yellow rings darken to greens and blues the further inward you look, thick steam rising from all over but more condensed over the middle. 
It was one of the park's biggest attractions, tourists flocking to the spring with their cameras, too stricken by the vivid chromaticism to listen or read about the temperatures and microbials that are responsible for the colors in the first place. 
As you hover above now, just to the side of the steam, your heart aches. There are no ignorant tourists to take pictures of the pool, the boardwalks and trails to these hot spots now blocked off once it became apparent that the earthquake that took place last year was not the last of its kind. Your team as well as the park rangers went to the park board as a unit and suggested that tourists needed to be kept away from as many geothermal features as possible, all of you with the same fear in mind: someone (or many someones) falling in. 
It's always been a risk, but now, with weekly rumblings, that risk has multiplied exponentially. All it takes is someone losing their footing on the boardwalk over the Norris Geyser Basin for serene sightseeing to turn into tragedy, and that's on a good day. Throw a 5.7 earthquake into the mix, and the park could lose an entire tour group to the heat and acid. 
It's just not a risk any of you are willing to take anymore. 
Most of the park remains open. Old Faithful continues to draw people in by the thousands. They sit and watch boiling water shoot into the sky every hour or so, clapping happily at the sight, unaware of the way you and your team hold your breath in wait, hoping for the geyser to go off on its usual schedule. 
One day it will stop. One day they'll all stop. And, then… 
"I can't believe it's all gonna be gone one day," you muse, blinking down at the prismatic pool for as long as Mike will let you. 
"Nah," the man disagrees. "Not gone. Buried, yeah, but not gone."
You snort, turn back to him with a grin and roll your eyes. "Yeah, no big deal. Just miles of pyroclast and ash, probably snow when we get thrust into another ice age 'cause of the crazy climate swing..."
"Alright, alright, I get it. The sun dimeth and the land sinketh."
"Gusheth forth steam and gutting fire," you continue grimly.
Mike turns the helicopter back toward the landing zone, saying nothing else and leaving you to take in the sights below. You're grateful for the silence; it's good for processing, for preparation. 
And, you're grateful for Mike, one of your best friends at this point—soft and kind despite his intimidating stature, smart as a whip, and just as stunning, if not more so, than the Grand Prismatic. 
"Any idea what you'll do afterward?" He asks, holding a hand out to you to help you from your seat in the chopper. 
"Not really. Survive, I guess." 
You land just a little too close to him, your face nearly coming in direct contact with his broad chest, but Mike steps back just in time, making you extend your arm, still connected at the fingers, before he drops your hand. 
"A feat all on its own," he says flatly, but he perks up as you both begin walking to the park ranger base. "Maybe you'll find another team to work on."
"I don't want to find another team," you tell him honestly. "This is my team. This is my home."
Mike hums, an understanding little sound, body warm when he gently bumps into you on the gravel pathway to the lodge. "Yeah, I know."
A geophysics major at UCLA with a specific interest in volcanology, getting to intern with the Erwin Smith at the Yellowstone supervolcano had been a dream come true. You'd expected to gain knowledge and experience—nothing more and nothing less. You'd lived out here for one summer during your graduate program, clocking the field experience you needed to get your degree and taking in everything you could. 
Back then, it felt like all you did was ask questions and get in the way. By the end of that summer, you knew every variation of Levi Ackermann's irritated sighs, every different pitch of Hange Zoe's shouts and how they correlated with their experiments. Moblit had been the newest permanent addition and was even more nervous than he is now, trying and failing to keep up with Hange (which he's much better at doing these days). 
They were all fantastic, but it had been the lead researcher who'd reeled you in. You'd never met anyone as passionate as Dr. Erwin Smith, captivated by the monster underneath the park and thrilled to share his brain with anyone willing to hold their hands out for it. Hell, he'd even helped you with your Master's thesis—hydrothermally altered mineralized systems and their seismic reflections. 
When you graduated, the Yellowstone team was the first you reached out to and the first you heard back from. Erwin said you'd been a perfect fit even as a student (which you hadn't exactly believed but definitely blushed at anyway). Mobs, Hange, and even Levi seemed happy to have you back. It was like you were meant to be here. In this park. With all of them. 
Studying the volcano and all of its properties has always been like breathing to you—natural and necessary. You move when it moves, every shake and tremor a heartbeat in your own chest, every shooting geyser like blood in your veins. The mudpots are your bubbling emotions, the fumaroles, your sense of building pressure and release.
You feel at home in the park because you trust it. Because you love it. 
You don't have room for another team in your heart, but as you walk inside the lodge next to Mike, watching as he takes off his sunglasses and grins at one of the other rangers, you think you at least have room for one more person. 
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2  Y E A R S  B E F O R E
The lab has two extra bodies in it—two extra unwelcome bodies who keep getting in your way and touching things as they ask questions that no one has the answers to yet.
“When did you say this was going to happen?” The rotund state governor, Dhalis Zachary, asks for the second time since arriving, picking up a sample test tube that Moblit immediately plucks from his hand with a nervous smile.
“As I said before, it’s difficult to place a concrete timeline on an event like this,” Erwin tells the white-haired man. “We don’t exactly have in depth records of the last three eruptions, so all we have to go off of is the earth itself and our simulations.”
At the edge of the projection table, Nile Dok, FEMA director, cautiously waves a hand through the holographic model displayed in front of him. He obviously doesn’t think anyone is watching him because the slender man jumps in surprise when you snort at your desk, and his angular cheekbones take on a pink tint of embarrassment from having been caught.
He clears his throat, straightens the knot that sits over it, then turns to face Erwin and prompts, “Three eruptions before. One was a lot bigger than the others, though, right?”
Erwin nods. “Huckleberry Ridge. Over two million years ago.”
“We’re hoping—if a supereruption is to occur—it’ll be closer to the size of Mesa Falls,” you pipe up.
“Which one was that?” Zachary asks.
“One-point-three million years ago, two-hundred-and-eighty cubic kilometers of erupted materials…” Levi lists off as he makes his way over to the table with a sanitary wipe in hand. He doesn’t like people in his space, doesn’t like strangers in the lab, even (especially) government officials (“They leave fingerprints, and they breathe on everything, and they waste our fucking time.”).
“Two-hundred-and-eighty cubic kilometers… That’s the best-case scenario?” Zachary looks to Erwin, eyebrows raised high over his wire glasses.
Erwin stares at him for a moment, contemplating the best and easiest way to explain this to someone who has no real experience in the field. Eventually, he settles on, “Moblit, can you run some simulations for me?”
“Of course, sir,” the mousy scientist agrees, phone in hand and pulling up the app before the boss can even finish speaking.
Everyone gathers around the table except for Levi who steps away from it, grumbling under his breath about coming back to clean it later. He at least hits the lights, making the model easier to see as Erwin starts listing off numbers and scenarios.
“The best case, actually, is only one vent opening, maybe two. It would be something comparable to Mount St. Helen’s, though probably a bit bigger, say point-five cubic kilometers of material. It would be necessary to evacuate the park and this region of the state at the very least.”
Zachary hums, “And, how likely is that?”
Erwin shrugs. “Hard to say right now. As the earthquakes increase, though, the likelihood of a small eruption like that, uh, dwindles.”
“Small,” Nile scoffs.
Zachary makes a similar noise, slightly louder, a little more offended, then rattles off, “Mount St. Helen’s killed almost sixty people. The blast, the ash, the lahars—” as if you don’t all already know.
“No one’s discounting the damage of the eruption,” Levi cuts him off. “But, if you’re sweatin’ at those numbers, all due respect, Governor, I don’t know if you’re ready to stomach the rest of this little light show.”
The older man cuts his eyes at Levi who squints right back at him, only turn and shuffle over to his desk when Erwin waves him further away, a silent way of saying ‘keep your smart mouth away from the authority figures’.
“Moving on,” you cough, twirling a finger to get both Erwin and Mobs to continue.
“Yes,” Erwin nods. “So, any eruption is dependent on how much magma in the chamber is eruptible magma. Just because it’s there doesn’t mean it will come out.”
Moblit punches in a few numbers to show what a small-scale eruption would look like, first with one vent then with two.
“With just that amount, even with two vents, it isn’t enough to completely destabilize the chamber.”
“And, destabilizing it would be… bad…” Nile states more than asks, brown eyes lit up by the model in front of him.
“No shit,” everyone hears Levi grumble from his desk, and Erwin huffs and looks at you, expression a little exasperated as he jerks a thumb back toward the grumpy man in yet another one of his silent motions— a plea in this case—'go take care of him’ which you do.
Levi is slumped in his computer chair, arms crossed over his chest as he peers over his desktop at the four men gathered around the hologram.
“Should’a just gone with Hange and the boy scout to collect samples when I had the chance,” he mutters.
“You hate collecting samples, especially sulfur samples. Which is what they’re getting now.”
“Yeah, well I hate these guys even more.” He says it quietly enough so that they won’t be able to hear, and even if they could, both Governor Zachary and Nile are too invested in the information that the scientists are giving them to pay attention to anything else.
“What’d they ever do to you?” You push, curious now because sure, Levi has always been the surliest of the team, but it’s rare that he’s surly and loud about it.
“Nothing. They have done nothing because they don’t belong here. They have no idea—no fucking idea—what’s about to happen.” You can hear his frustration even through his whispers. “Best case scenarios? Why are we even going over those? We know damn well that we’re not looking at one or two vents. And, we’re not lookin’ at Mesa Falls either.”
Letting out a long breath, you lean against Levi’s desk, ignoring the way he grunts in protest.
“I know. I’m sure Erwin and Moblit will prep them for the worst case.”
“There’s no prepping for it,” Levi hisses, gray eyes flashing. “We’re talking about—"
“…A nationwide cataclysmic event.” Both of you register Erwin’s voice at the same time and glance at the other group to find them staring at the lit-up simulation of the Huckleberry Ridge eruption.
“Which would pretty quickly turn into a worldwide problem,” Moblit adds quietly.
“Worldwide?” You hear Nile question in a low but very alarmed tone. “Because of the ash?”
“Well, yes, but, it’s not just ash,” Erwin clarifies, diving into his explanation of tephra and how dangerous it is. He reminds the men how far it traveled after the Mount St. Helen’s eruption since they’ve apparently latched onto that one, then challenges, “Now imagine an eruption about… six hundred times that size.”
“Six…” Nile swallows, turning his entire, slender frame toward Erwin and repeating, “Six hundred times bigger? That’s what we’re expecting?”
In his little rolling chair, Levi’s chest puffs a bit, finally satisfied that the gravity of the situation is beginning to set in. “Maybe they aren’t as dumb as they look.”
Erwin is about to say something, right hand lifted with his index finger extended in a very matter-of-fact way, but before he can manage to get anything out, the door to the lab swings open and Hange walks in, Mike just behind them carrying all the collected samples in what almost looks like a lunchbox.
“We’re back—” Hange stops, taking in their surroundings, the lack of lights, the bright projection, the grim energy, then shouts, “Hey, get some Pink Floyd playing! Like a planetarium in here! Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me…”
“Dr. Zoe,” Moblit clears his throat. “We were just going over the utter devastation a supereruption could wreak on the country.”
“Oh, were you?” Hange pauses, brow rising, lips puckering into a sour expression. “My bad.”
Raising a hand to your forehead, you laugh to yourself for a few seconds before shaking the untimely amusement off and making your way over to Mike to take the sample kit from him.
“Careful,” he warns jokingly as he passes it off. “Got some very fragile gas and mud in there.”
“Yeah?” You tease. “So, I shouldn’t, like, shake it or anything?”
“Definitely should not shake it. Here, here, just—” He takes it back, grinning broadly as he tells you, “I think it’s best if you let a professional handle such dangerous compounds.”
All the doom-and-gloom you had been feeling mere seconds ago evaporates entirely, and you let out a frankly embarrassing giggle as you watch Mike very carefully set the samples down on Hange’s lab table, making a show of securing them and whispering a final, “Stay,” so that you clamp a hand over your mouth.
Levi groans in disgust, and, at the same time, Erwin mutters an apology to Zachary and Nile for, “… employing a team of children.”
Your face heats in embarrassment, but it doesn’t keep you from smiling at Mike when he saunters back over, looking rather sheepish himself.
“Lunchtime soon, right?”
“Yeah, in a bit—”
“Please go now, for the love of God,” Erwin sighs. “And, take Levi and Hange with you.”
None of you need telling twice, quickly grabbing wallets and home-packed meals before rushing from the lab before your boss decides to murder one or all of you.
Levi steers Hange toward his car, leaving you alone with Mike which you don’t mind in the slightest. You take most of your lunches with him anyway, some of your breakfasts and dinners too, so this is simply part of your daily routine.
“I’ve got some sandwiches packed already. Wanna hit Mount Haynes?” He suggests, sliding into the driver’s seat of his jeep.
You point a fingergun at him and nod. “I like the way you think, sir.”
He takes a very specific route, avoiding any damaged areas, having to veer off of the actual road at a certain point to take a safer path he and other rangers have made. You watch the mountains of the park grow closer and closer, what you know to be the ridge of Yellowstone’s caldera looming nearer.
Mike parks at the base of your intended destination then reaches into the backseat to grab the aforementioned lunch. You have no intentions of actually hiking to the top of the mountain—don’t have the time or the will, honestly—but as soon as the two of you have worked up a sweat and are at a decent enough elevation to look out on the park underneath, you drop to the dusty ground and take it all in.
Even from this distance, you can see some of the gases and steam in the air. That’s the only movement there is, though, save for the occasional ranger vehicle zipping along. The land seems almost barren at this point. The grass is still green. The sun is still bright as it is every Summer.
But, there are no animals, no tourists, no real life. Instead, it’s been replaced with cracks and crevasses, with barricades and warning signs.
Trail Closed
Road Closed
Danger: Keep Out
It’s been almost six months since the park decided to shut down to the public, and if you’re being honest, it should have closed its doors long before. It took people dying to bring the board to their senses, an earthquake that shook the ground for minutes, the crust of the earth splitting right under the historical lodge that so many loved.
Fourteen casualties. Twenty-nine injured.
That’s what it took.
You barely recognize the park now, feel like the last endangered species left within its boundaries. It’s just the research team, some of the rangers, and the occasional outside visitor (board members, government officials, or press that gets waved away).
Some would argue that the park is dead, but you know better; it’s livelier than it has been in hundreds of thousands of years, a shuddering, breathing monster finally rising to its feet after an eternity of slumber. Soon, it will open its mouth in an earth-shattering scream, and then, everyone will see.
Not dead; just waking up.
“You look tired.” Mike’s voice may as well be carried by the breeze, light and low, refreshing as it passes over you, and you flash him a smile while nodding.
“Exhausted.”
He grabs a sandwich from the lunchbox, and you fish hand sanitizer from one of the many pockets on your pants, squirting it into your hand first then holding it out to the man beside you.
“Seems like you spend more time here than at your apartment.”
“Oh, most definitely.” You unwrap what looks to be turkey and pepper-jack and try to ignore the way your stomach flips at the fact that it’s your favorite simple-sandwich-combo and that Mike remembered. “Lot to do in the lab. Obviously.” You take a bite—no mustard, only mayo—and feel some of the tension between your shoulder blades begin to unwind.
“Figure you wouldn’t want it any other way, though,” Mike comments before chomping into his own sandwich.
“Right you are. I mean, end of the world, potentially. Scary stuff, but also…” You swallow, lick your lips and stare out at the landscape in front of you as you grapple with words. “It’s like… I’m terrified, but I feel like I’m exactly where I need to be. Like…”
This is how I’m supposed to go out, you almost say, but you’re smart to keep it to yourself. That’s a thought for you and you alone, one you haven’t shared with anyone because nobody else would understand except maybe Erwin.
“This is what you’re meant to do,” Mike supplies, and you look over at him. “This is what you love. I get that.”
And, he’s right. But, the park and volcanology—those aren’t the only things you love.
Mike sits there, legs crossed like an overgrown kindergartener, shaggy hair blowing in the wind, light green eyes so, incredibly warm and bright, and it feels like you can’t breathe anymore, like your lungs and throat are already full of ash that hasn’t fallen yet, tight with dying declarations you can’t bring yourself to make.
“Have you ever heard of Katia and Maurice Krafft?” You ask, and yes, your voice does feel somewhat strangled, the space behind your eyes burning just a little hotter than usual.
Mike shakes his head, takes another bite, and gives you his undivided attention.
“They were these French volcanologists who got really famous for the pictures and footage they took of erupting volcanoes. The recordings they got for the community were—I mean, they were pioneers. They changed the game. There’s photos and videos of them just—” you gesture nebulously with both your hands, nearly flinging your sandwich off the side of the mountain and making Mike reach out and catch your wrist before you can.
“Please, no feeding the park’s wildlife, ma’am,” he jokes easily, and you have to shove the sandwich into your mouth to keep from giggling like a schoolgirl. Mike shows the smallest of satisfied smiles, completely unaware of his own charm, and it’s maddening and intoxicating, and it’s all you can do to keep talking about the brave scientists.
“Anyway,” you continue. “Katia would get, like, within feet of lava flows. Just walkin’ right beside ‘em in her special heat suit. And, they’d wear protective helmets because of, you know—”
“Explosions. Falling rocks.”
 “Yeah, exactly. They were just there, documenting it all happening, nerves of fucking steel. Katia was usually the one gathering samples and stuff while Maurice recorded, but he was right in the thick of it too. This badass couple learning and adventuring together.”
Mike eventually questions, “What happened to them?” but you’re sure he knows the answer when you deflate a bit.
“Mount Unzen eruption—got caught in the pyroclastic flow. Died instantly.”
“At least they were doing what they loved,” he says, and you nod.
You’re silent for a while, neither of you eating but both of you staring. You think about the Kraffts often, especially now with Yellowstone’s imminent eruption. Doing what they loved… They died for their research, and though you never got the chance to meet them or even speak with anyone who has met them, you have a feeling they wouldn’t have wanted it to happen any other way.
“Just so you know,” Mike gets your attention, and when you look over at him, your heart swells.
The sun is reflected in his eyes, making light green glow with more than just warmth and sincerity, and god, you’re so in love with him, you can feel it in your bone marrow. You ache for him, you pine for him, and you want to live for him, but how…
“I’d film you walking next to a lava flow,” he tells you. Despite the little smile playing at his lips, you know he isn’t kidding.
Tears prick the corners of your eyes, and you have to look away before any actually fall, but your sniffle definitely gives you away. You swear internally, berating yourself for getting emotional in front of Mike, though you can’t say you’re too surprised. Your stress levels have been through the roof, working non-stop for months now, the government breathing down your neck. People have died and the park is literally fracturing before your eyes, and you’re not ready to see it end—to see everything as you know it come to an end.
“Pretty dusty up here,” Mike comments while nudging you. You find him holding out a handkerchief, letting you take it then turning his gaze forward again to allow you a little privacy to dab at your eyes.
Mike has senses beyond the normal human spectrum. He has a sense for weather unlike anyone you’ve ever seen before, from thunderstorms and tornadoes to record snowfall and, on a few occasions, earthquakes. You can still vividly remember being in the lab the day of the fatal quake that damaged the hotel, seeing Mike suddenly look at the seismogram seconds before it started picking up the first tremors. Levi had called it “freakish”, but you had called him “incredible”.
It’s not just the weather, though. Mike has a way with people and animals too, like he can gauge their emotions and act appropriately. It’s how he knows what days he can push Levi’s buttons and get away with it, how he knows when Hange is too busy and overwhelmed to gather samples themself, so he gathers some for them.
And, it’s how he knows exactly when he needs to pull you into a hug, like when the team realized the chances of a small to moderate eruption were next to nothing, like when he had told you how many of those hotel guests had gotten hurt and died and you’d stared at him with wide, watery eyes, and like right now, as you think about Katia and Maurice Krafft, the fate they met and how yours might not be any different.
Will you die doing what you love? Will you be able to welcome it as bravely as they did?
You rest your head on Mike’s shoulder, letting yourself melt into his side, his arm sturdy and grounding where it wraps around you, and as you look out over the sunlit grounds, one last question plagues your mind:
Does a pyroclastic flow burn as hot as the molten feelings inside of you?
You can’t imagine anything does.
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1  Y E A R  B E F O R E
The message is broadcasted straight from the state capitol, Levi's expression grim as he reads off the paper hidden on the podium. 
"I know all of this sounds apocalyptic—the ash and blackouts and probable climate change, and it is scary, but we still have some time, so there's no reason to panic. We just urge that if you haven't already started preparing, now's the time. Please."
A couple steps behind him and a little to the right is Erwin, standing tall and nodding at everything Levi says as if he's providing some kind of credibility. 
"Considering we're looking at a VEI eight, the team of volcanologists at Yellowstone have recommended that all of Wyoming and its neighboring states evacuate, but I'll let Homeland Security go over all that."
As he turns to step back, the crowd of reporters and journalists begin shouting out questions, and Levi grimaces as he moves to stand next to Erwin who places a hand in his shoulder. 
You can't hear everything being asked from where you're watching at the lab, but you can't imagine it's anything good judging by the way Levi's frown just keeps growing. 
Fortunately, the vaguely familiar secretary of Homeland Security, Dot Pixis, takes the stand quickly, holding up wrinkled hands in an attempt to calm the crowd. 
"We have some more very important information to cover in this address, so if you'll allow me…" He clears his throat and straightens a stack of papers on the podium, no doubt a huge list of protocols that the public will only half listen to. 
You swivel back and forth in your chair as you watch the thin man on screen, his voice scratchy but strangely soothing as he outlines rationing, supply storage, and evacuation routes. 
"We're also negotiating with our neighboring countries about opening borders. Now, anyone seeking refuge would still be required to fill out an application for a temporary visa, but—"
"God, you know they gotta love that," you mumble to yourself. 
Hange, tinkering somewhere behind you, laughs and agrees, "Yeah, after decades of treating immigrants like trash, and now we're just knocking on their doors, asking for help. Ridiculous."
"Embarrassing, is what it is." 
It was for whichever government official had to make that call, anyway. You're positive that had been a hard pill to swallow. 
As far as you've heard, the foreign affairs part of this mess is actually going quite well. You'd accompanied Erwin to the big meeting with Canadian officials and watched him and Pixis plead a case for America, emphasizing just how bad the eruption will be "at home", then switched tactics at whiplash speed to go into how countries needed to work together since this wouldn't just be the US's problem in the long run. 
It turned into a rather inspiring speech, if you're being honest, prompted you to text Levi a short, how is E so damn charming all the time? to which he'd responded, Believe me, you're asking the wrong fuckin guy. 
With multiple government agencies now backing the states and setting plans in motion, the impending eruption seems even more real. You thought your stress levels were high before, that your sleep pattern left little to be desired, but oh, you had been wrong. 
Case in point being Mike walking into the lab with a brown paper bag and slightly unpleasant expression as he asks, "Have you eaten today?" 
Your glare has no real meaning as you grumble, "Had a granola bar this morning."
"It's nearly six," he groans, pushing you, chair and all, up to your desk and setting the bag in front of you. "Please eat something before you pass out."
"Okay, okay, Christ. You're more attentive than my mother."
"I met your mom last year, and you and I both know she would be hysterical if she knew how you've been treating yourself lately."
He has a point. In fact, you're glad Mike is naturally quiet and didn't bond too strongly with her, otherwise you have a feeling he would have called her by now to complain. 
The chicken salad sandwich you bite into must be imbued with some kind of magic, because you let out an honest to god moan when you swallow the first bite. 
"Oh my god, what did you put in this?" You ask as you blink up at your best friend. 
Mike snorts and rolls his eyes. "Uh, actual nutrients maybe? Weird how your body needs those."
Hands too busy shoving more food into your mouth, you headbutt him right at the hip, just hard enough to make him grunt and sway. He steadies himself, glances down at you like he's annoyed but ends up breaking into a grin when he catches what you assume to be a piece of chicken salad dotting the corner of your mouth. 
"What am I gonna do with you," he mumbles, wiping it with a gentle thumb. 
Your body warms with both embarrassment and affection, but you can't quite find a response even as your head clears for the first time in about two days. You really do need to start taking better care of yourself. 
The undeniable feeling of being watched makes your neck prickle, and you break Mike's gaze to find Hange staring at both of you, a not-so-subtle smile making their mouth curl mischievously. You have a pretty good idea of what they're thinking, and you're heart starts beating a little faster at the thought of them possibly speaking it out loud, but before they get a chance, Mike's phone rings. 
You catch a glimpse of the name displayed before he picks it up—Gelgar—recognize it and tease, "One of the doomsday preppers, right?" 
Because no matter how much Mike denies it, just like he does now— "They're not doomsday preppers—" you know that his friends are a little odd. Extremely well prepared, but odd. 
"Hey man, what's up?" He answers, stepping away from you. "Isn't it almost two there?" 
You don't try to listen in, just look back to Hange and shake your head when their smile grows. 
"Stop."
"What?" They giggle. "I'm not even doing anything!"��
"You're thinking things, though."
"Well yeah, I'm always thinking things. How else would I have gotten this smart?" They flip their ponytail for emphasis and toss a wink your way, but Hange's voice gets oddly sincere when they tell you, "Seriously, though. You guys should get while the getting's good. I don't know why you haven't jumped each other's bones yet."
You splutter, look around frantically to make sure Mike isn't within earshot, and thank god, he's in the next room over. 
"Hange!" 
"I'm just saying! It's like watching Erwin and Levi from a few years ago. God, that was a nightmare."
"How dare you. I am nothing like—"
"Yeah, yeah. When do they get back in anyway?" 
You both look to the TV that's still playing the live address, easily spotting your missing team members behind Secretary Pixis. 
"Probably not 'til later tonight. Levi's gonna try to talk Erwin into getting a hotel, I bet, but he's gonna wanna come back to the lab and check everything before he goes to bed."
"How do you know he wants to come back?" 
You show a sheepish grin, fishing the chips out of the paper sack Mike brought, then answer, "'Cause that’s what I’d wanna do."
*
It's late. Far too late to be at work, but being at home never feels right these days. It's too quiet, too still, too not the lab. The only time you genuinely enjoy being there is when friends are over for a movie or meal over the weekend. Other than that, you're not at all attached. 
Not the way you are here.
Almost midnight, you move from table to table, working, organizing, just keeping busy. You're very awake, still jittery from the quake that shook the park at around three that day. It lasted for almost three minutes, splitting the ground dangerously close to Old Faithful, and the geyser hasn't gone off since which is troubling. If too many of the geothermal spots stop releasing pressure, the eruption will take place sooner than anticipated. 
It's why you're here so late, pouring over the data, studying the numbers and possible effects. 
You're not alone, though. Erwin is also shuffling around the lab, but he's focused on something else, a project of sorts. 
"Can you come take a look at this?" He calls from the projection table, and you drop what you're doing to join him. 
The model isn't lit up as a hologram, surprisingly. Instead, Erwin has paper blueprints laid, curling at the edges from being rolled up. It takes you a second to realize what you're looking at, but when it comes together, you inhale sharply. 
It's a simple design, a square floorplan with a couple entrances. The only exit looks to lead upward, though, and it's easy to tell that means Erwin wants this to be underground. There are notes scribbled in the blank spaces, 4 meters down, bomb proof top, ventilation, generators, gasoline?, rations < 5yrs, medicine, vitamins, guns. The list goes on, handwriting sloppier and sloppier the more thoughts Erwin had at the time. 
"You think this would be ready in a year?"
Erwin shrugs. "With the right construction team, yes. That one bunker designer…" Erwin snaps, trying to think of the name, but it doesn't come to him. "Whoever—He built ten shelters in two years." 
You stick your hands in your back pockets as you lean over to look closer. It could just be your overworked brain, but it looks like a good design, something someone actually has a chance of surviving in. 
Hearing your name makes you look up again. Erwin has you pinned with one of his serious blue gazes. "No one else will understand, so please keep this plan to yourself."
You nod but venture to ask, "You haven't told Levi?" 
"No," he answers, mouth pulling downward. "It's… Going to be a fight."
"Understandably so. You're basically married to the volcano, though, Erwin."
"So are you."
His eyes are shining as your lips twist into a grimace. He's gotten to know you well over the years. You've always shared a certain bond over Yellowstone, one the other team members just don't have. To them, it's just a job, just science. 
To you and Erwin, though, it's a religion. You're in love with the park, all its secrets and eccentricities. It's your home; it's where you belong. 
"Assuming this does get built," Erwin starts, lifting a thick eyebrow in curiosity. "You would want to stay, right?" 
"You mean, ride out a supereruption? Be the first to see the zone-one damage?" 
Erwin doesn't answer, but he does smile, excitement dancing just below the surface of his stare. 
You feel it too, the urge to throw caution to the wind, to take a chance that could very possibly get you both killed. The Kraffts flash through your mind again, their failed attempt at escape.
A breathless, "Fuck yeah," tumbles from your mouth before you can dwell on the consequences for too long. 
It's time to either live it up or go down in ash and flames. 
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6  M O N T H S  B E F O R E 
Yellowstone is unrecognizable. The ground is mostly made up of large crevasses and smaller cracks, debris from fallen buildings left in piles with no one to clean them up. 
The geysers are all inactive at this point, but steam is still rising from the springs, and the mudpots are still bubbling. It's the only thing that's keeping the volcano from erupting. 
The ground shakes multiple times a day, the lab seismographs constantly picking up activity. The little ones don't faze you anymore. You and Mike secure the glass samples to make sure they don't break while Erwin and Levi basically hug their computers. Yours was damaged in the quake that prompted Hange and Moblit to leave—a 6.7 that caused Hange to fall into their desk, breaking their collarbone in the process. After getting Hange pain meds and a sling, the two of them were on a plane to D.C. that same night. 
Every day is another risk taken. Now, it's just you, Erwin, Levi, and Mike. 
The latter two spend most of their days dropping hints about leaving soon as well. Mike has already made plans to fly to Norway and join his not-doomsday prepper friends and brings it up often.
"You should come. See the tulip fields while they're still around."
"Gel and Nana have done a great job setting up the ranch. They wanna let as many people stay as they can." 
"You'd really like them. They bicker like an old married couple, but they're good people."
Levi takes a different approach with Erwin, appeals to the other man's desire to help and protect. 
"We really should head to the homeland security office. They don't know what they're dealing with."
"Dok is an idiot. They need a bigger brain over there for guidance or whatever."
"Your long-term plan will be better than anything those government fucks will come up with anyway."
Every time, you and Erwin gently wave them off with promises of "soon" and "just a little longer." Neither of you breathe a word about staying. Despite the fact that construction on the bunker has not started and you're running out of time, both of you are dead set on the plan: go down with the park. 
You're found out before it can come to fruition, however. 
The remaining team is sitting in the lab, busy with their own little projects, when Mike looks up suddenly, takes a deep breath, then says, "Earthquake," just as the seismogram starts going wild. 
He pulls you from your chair quickly, dropping to the ground and bringing you with him to crawl under your desk. On your knees, your body curls in on itself and you lock your hands over the back of your neck as the floor beneath you starts to rumble violently. 
You can hear Levi cursing from somewhere as the sound of glass shattering rings throughout the lab. You think another computer falls, models and books flying from shelves. 
Mike huddles over you, one hand gripping the leg of the desk while the other protects your ribs. You want to tell him to shield himself, but you know there's no use. Besides, the weight and warmth is comforting even in the face of danger—his chest hot against your back, the epitome of a knight in shining armor. 
It lasts for several minutes. The power cuts off, windows crack, doors swing open only to slam shut again. You know the lab is going to be an absolute wreck when it's over. 
When the shaking finally settles, everyone crawls out of their hiding places. Levi warns, "Be ready for aftershocks," as if you don't know, and Erwin fumbles in his desk until he finds a flashlight. 
The ray of light illuminates the damage. Just as you suspected, the place looks like a tornado blew through. Glass litters the floor along with the far-flung books and park models. Both Levi and Erwin's computers fell and disconnected, and your stomach drops as you think about all the potentially lost information. 
"You okay?" Mike asks, pulling you up to your knees so he can look at your face. 
"I'm fine," you tell him, his hands on your cheeks making you flush, so you distract yourself. "E, Levi, you guys okay?" 
"Yes," Erwin answers first. 
Levi shows his face, a deep frown making his brow furrow, as he looks at his desktop. "I'm pissed but uninjured."
The four of you spend the next couple of hours cleaning up what you can, pausing and taking cover when the aftershocks hit, then starting over as the lab sustains more and more damage. 
Mike sweeps up the glass. Erwin focuses on getting the computers back on the desks safely then goes and checks the projection table. You and Levi collect the bigger items, setting books back on shelves. 
You don't think about the mistake before it's too late, when Levi is already pulling out the blueprints that were hidden behind the stack of encyclopedias. 
As he stills completely, you turn to look at him and find him staring down at the large, uncurled papers. Your instinct is to snatch them from his hands, but it's no use. He's already seen enough. 
"What the fuck is this?" His voice comes out like poison as he immediately looks at Erwin. 
The larger man glances at Levi, eyes trailing to what he's holding, then pales. 
"Levi..."
"Is this a god damn bunker? Are you planning on staying in this hellscape?" 
Erwin strides over to him and reaches for the prints, but Levi tugs them out of reach. 
"Answer me," he spits. "Is that your plan?"
"I—" Erwin swallows thickly before answering, "Yes."
It's silent for a long time, and the more it drags on, the tighter Levi's lips get, gray eyes shiny with quiet rage. 
This is what Erwin was trying to avoid, why he insisted on keeping the bunker a secret. 
But while Levi is glaring at Erwin, you feel another gaze on you. Skin crawling, you chance a glance up at Mike, stomach churning when he looks away quickly and bites his lips. He knows. Somehow without anyone saying anything, Mike knows you’re planning to stay too.
Heavy breathing and the distant sound of rumbling earth is all that can be heard, followed by backup generators roaring to life and restoring the overhead lights. 
"You too?" Mike finally speaks. “You wanna stay too?”
You chew on the inside of your cheek, unable to answer. He sounds so disappointed—defeated—and it makes you feel sick. 
"Do you guys know," Levi growls, "How fucking insane that is? This is the dumbest, most reckless, selfish fucking thing you could do! And, I know it's all your thinking!" He drops the blueprints in favor of shoving Erwin roughly, making him stumble back. 
"Hey," you step toward him, but the small man just turns to you and accuses, "And, you egged him on, yeah? Did you even think of us? How we would feel? Staying here is suicide!"
"I have a plan, Levi," Erwin says, raising both hands to his head and effectively disheveling his own hair. "If you just look at the plans. I know what we need to survive. I've done the math, I've studied the—"
"Jesus Christ, we're talking about an eight hundred degree pyroclastic flow! Tephra that will suffocate you. You really think being a few meters down during the eruption will be enough?" Levi is screaming now, his voice cracking, and you think you see tears at his waterline. 
It makes the spaces behind your eyes burn, but it’s only partly out of guilt. The other emotion that’s welling up in you is anger, a betrayal you can barely wrap your head around, but it comes tumbling out anyway.
“Do you even know us? You think we can actually leave the park behind?” Your voice rises to match Levi’s, gains his acidic attention once again. “I don’t even understand how you can run away, after everything you’ve put into this place! How can you just—” You let out a sound somewhere between a groan and a cry as you raise your hands to your face and shove your palms to your eyes. “I get Mike because he doesn’t have anything fucking left here. He’s just been helping out—”
“You think I don’t have anything left here?” He asks quietly from beside you, and when you look at him with a watery stare, you find him wounded. His jaw slides forward as he sucks on his teeth, and fuck, his eyes are getting glossy too. 
“See, this is exactly what I mean,” Levi gestures wildly at the two of you. “Mike and I have stayed because you guys won’t fucking leave, and now it comes out that you were never planning to. When were you gonna tell us? Would you have even given us enough time to get out?”
“Of course!” Erwin takes him by the shoulders, and Levi snarls up at him. “I was working up to it. I wasn’t ready to—to deal with this.”
“I can’t believe this. You really think a whole team of workers is gonna come out here to help build this? You wanna put their lives in jeopardy too?”
“We—”
“You haven’t even thought this through all the way! When did you come up with this? When you hadn’t slept or eaten in forty-eight hours? When your brain wasn’t fucking functioning at full capacity?”
Erwin stays quiet, and so do you because Levi has a point. Taking care of yourselves physically has not been high on either of your lists of priorities, and you’re sure your mental state has suffered for it. All the nights spent at the projection table, mapping out ideas, growing giddy over the idea of staying for the eruption. Was that just two people high off passion, becoming more and more unhinged with each passing day?
Quite possibly. 
You expect the fury to be enough to push Levi away, that he’ll simply give up, drag Mike out with him, and leave you and Erwin to hunker down like you’d planned.
But, that is not the case. 
Instead, he shoves a thin finger into Erwin’s chest, gritting out, “Pack your fucking bags so we can go to D.C. where they need you.”
Erwin takes a breath then slumps in defeat. Now, when faced with the obstacle that is his boyfriend, you figure he’s weighed the pros and cons and made a decision. Between his love for the park and his love for Levi, he’d rather salvage the latter. 
Mike shifts next to you, grumbles out a low, “You too,” that makes the tears finally fall from your eyes. “I’ll take you on one last ride to the springs, but then we’re leaving.”
He stays true to his word, and you cry the entire time you’re in the chopper, headset smushed against one ear as you rest your head on the window and look down at the Grand Prismatic, the steam rising from it. It’s beginning to grow discolored with all the activity, but it’s more stunning now than it’s ever been. 
Soon, it’ll be completely covered. All of it will. And, you could have been too, stuck underground for a couple of years only to be the first to step out into the pure destruction. 
That’s not an option anymore, though, not with Mike looking as grave as he does, not with the way he shadows you in your apartment as you gather the necessities, like he thinks you’re going to bolt and run back to the lab, not when the two of you meet back up with a still-fuming Levi and a despondent Erwin to head to the airport.
The tickets are outrageously priced at such short notice, but that doesn’t stop Levi and Mike from passing their credit cards over.
“Two for Washington D.C.”
“And, two for Bergen, Norway.”
Boarding passes in hand, the four of you walk through the bustling airport together for as long as you can before you have to inevitably split up. Levi glares at you but still pulls you into a tight hug, grunts into your ear, “You’re so stupid,” before letting go and turning to Mike. “Keep her safe, boy scout. I’m trusting you.”
Mike nods, and both of them clasp hands as you turn to look at Erwin. Tears and pathetic sniffles return when you walk into his open arms, clinging to him and mumbling, “‘M sorry, ‘m sorry. I would’ve followed you.”
“I know.” He rubs your back and heaves a sigh. “I know you would have.”
He eventually disentangles you to hold you at arm’s length, wipes the moisture from your face with his thumbs, then shows a sad smile. “See you in a few years, yes?”
“Yeah.”
One more squeeze, and everyone turns away to walk to their respective gate. Mike’s hand splays across your back, warm, guiding you in the right direction, keeping you steady. He’s always kept your feet planted firmly on the ground. You figure, if there’s one person you’d like to experience the downfall of society with—above ground—it’s him. 
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S I X  W E E K S  B E F O R E
Norway is kind of incredible. It has a natural beauty that takes your breath away just like Yellowstone used to, but it’s vastly different. Everything is green, including the lights in the sky at night. You’re surrounded by rolling hills and mountains, and you just know it’ll be beautiful under thick layers of snow. 
The once rustic ranch, now restored, is made up of several small houses and a farm full of cows and goats. It’s sad to think about the fate they will eventually meet (slaughter then stomachs), but you know it’s necessary to prepare for the coming years.
And, the owners have definitely prepared. 
Gelgar and Nanaba are everything Mike described and more. Between taking care of the farm and setting up energy sources, they do their best to make you and the other arrivals feel at home. They’ve designed the ranch to house up to about thirty people, a commune of sorts (minus any cult-like vibes). Naturally, everyone pitches in and helps around the place. You find yourself cleaning a lot, but you don’t mind. It’s a nice, mindless task that keeps you from thinking too hard about everything you’ve left behind. 
You also like to join Nana outside, help with the animals and enjoy the sunshine while you still can. Of course, this subjects you to endless teasing especially today when she catches you staring into the distance at Mike who's helping Gelgar fix a solar panel. 
His shirt is starting to stick to his back from sweating, muscles straining under the damp cloth, and good lord, when did he get that broad? Sure, he's always been tall and fit, but working on the homestead has definitely made him more built. That along with the fact that his hair has gotten long enough to tie up in a bun has your mouth going a little dry. 
"Like what you see?" Nanaba asks, accent thick, voice full of amusement. 
You shoot her a look, face all scrunched up when you mumble, "Don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh?" She sticks her tongue out. "Don't be coy. I see the way you both look at each other."
"Tch." 
"And, how both of you volunteer to cook with the other when it's your turn to. You move around each other like you know exactly where the other is. Two halves of a whole."
You roll your eyes. "We've just worked together for a while. We make a good team."
She's not wrong, though. Since coming to Norway, you and Mike have grown even closer. There was a period of time when you could hardly look at him, too guilty for trying to stay at the park, guilty for hurting him, but eventually the two of you fell back into your normal dynamic—joking, laughing, touching just a little too much, smiling when you think no one's looking. You even spent an afternoon together in a nearby field of flowers, just like he'd promised. With a picnic basket full of food, and a blanket to lay on, you'd admired the clouds overhead while enjoying the rustling grass surrounding you. 
It's been your favorite day since coming here, had reminded you of the lunches you used to share on the mountain. 
You're not brave enough to make any sort of move, though. Mike is just so good. There's a chance his affections are simply based in friendship, and that's something you're scared to ruin. He means too much to you. 
"How long did you work together?"
"Like, four years, give or take a few months."
"And, you're still acting like nothing is there?" Nanaba tsks. "Ridiculous."
"How long did it take you and Gel to get together?" You ask, then quickly backtrack, "Not that that's what I want with Mike necessarily."
"Mhm," she smirks. "Gel and I did it backwards. Got pissed at a bar and fell into bed together. Then we started to get to know each other and found out we just worked."
Sounds about right, you think. The couple has an interesting back-and-forth, half bickering, half innuendo. You can always, always see the love in their eyes, though. That's what you want in life. That’s what you want with Mike. Even if you won't admit it out loud. 
You turn your gaze back to the roof he and Gelgar are on just in time to see him making his way down the ladder. Once on the ground, he and the other man start striding over to you. Mike's face is red, sweat beading at his hairline, and Gelgar's pompadour is beginning to fall. 
"Think we got it fixed up," Mike announces, lifting the bottom hem of his shirt to wipe his forehead. 
You stare at his toned stomach for just a little too long, the lines of his hip bones leading into the waistband of his jeans. 
Nanaba's words ring in your head again—fell into bed, fell into bed, fell into bed—and you fixate on the idea of you and Mike doing the same. To have him hovering over you, or maybe you over him, thighs on either side of those hips as his hands trail up your body—
You shake the thought from your head, letting your glazed eyes refocus on the men in front of you. 
"Alright, I'm gonna grab a shower before dinner. Who's cooking tonight?"
“I believe it's Lynne and Henning," Nana answers. 
Mike nods then heads toward the little house he's been living in, right next to yours, of course. He reaches out to let his hand brush yours as he passes, and it takes conscious effort not to grip onto one or two of his large fingers and follow him. 
"God, that's painful to watch," Gelgar snorts. 
Nana laughs and agrees, "I was just telling her the same thing."
"Oh, shut up. Ya' couple of meddlers."
*
A line forms every evening outside of the main house, the one Gelgar and Nanaba share. You and Mike stand together at the back, watching everyone in front of you. Some are families, some are couples, some are here alone. You figure, no matter their status, the ranch is a nice place to be—peaceful, home-y despite its size. So far, everyone gets along. 
Only the kids complain about chores, about seven of them constantly running around together, but that’s to be expected, and honestly, you don’t mind picking up their slack. Life is about to get very difficult for them. They should get to be children for a little while longer. 
Potato soup is poured into your bowl with a ladle, topped with shredded beef and green onions, then you and Mike retire back to your little cottage home to eat and watch TV. It stays on the same channel, world news, and there’s always a long segment that covers Yellowstone and what it’s doing. 
It is not uncommon at all to look up from your food and see Erwin or Levi’s face on screen, speaking with experts, sometimes in interview-like settings.
Tonight, they’re covering a problem that’s been going on for some time, but everyone figured would resolve itself: some people will not leave the most dangerous zones, and it’s because they simply do not believe an eruption will take place. 
Even with the evidence, the science backing it—even with actual federal authorities knocking on their doors and telling them to leave—there are many people who just want to stay put. It’s insane to you, makes your blood boil. Children have been taken from their homes to be placed in safer areas, which only causes the disbelievers to get angrier. They want to say “I told you so”, but that’s not going to happen. 
What’s going to happen is getting burned alive in the flow that pours from the volcano. They will die a painful death, get buried under meters of fallout, ash, snow. There’ll be nothing to recover except for petrified, charred corpses. 
Of course, the irony is not lost on you; you and Erwin were both willing to chance similar fates, but you still think the two of you would have been more prepared than these regular-Joes who think their front door is enough to stop a volcanic eruption. 
“In the end, there’s no reasoning with people like this,” Erwin says on camera, a soft, sad smile playing at his lips. “When a person is so, uh… Dead set on staying, it will take an unstoppable force to move them.”
In your case, that unstoppable force had been Levi screaming at you while holding back tears. 
“Unfortunately for them, this force is the eruption, and they won’t be able to leave when that occurs.”
“Because they’ll be dead,” the reporter states more than asks.
Erwin nods and answers with a grim, “Yes. Yes, they will be.”
They’re not trying to be subtle, obviously hoping that this will get through to the stubborn masses, but you doubt it will. They’re living on borrowed time at this point. Any day could be their last.
Mike is quieter than usual as he eats, barely even looking at the television screen, and you have a feeling he’s thinking about how close you were to staying alongside those stupid assholes. It’s still a touchy subject, one both of you do your best to avoid. You’re mostly happy to be in Europe, spending your days with Mike and his friends and everyone else running around here. 
But, there’s also a part of you, deep down inside, that aches, that misses the park, that still wants to be right in the middle of the destruction. Watching it blow from so far away is going to hurt. This massive monster you’ve fallen in love with over the years will never be the same, and your last good look at it was that tearful helicopter ride. 
You’re not resentful toward Mike or Levi for dragging you out of the lab that day, but you are grieving in a sense. 
The program ends with Erwin giving one last warning— “If you insist on staying, I’d advise bomb-proofing your home, stocking up on several years-worth of rations, and installing one hell of a ventilation system. Good luck.”
Mike clears his throat and stands, grabbing his empty bowl as well as yours, then heads into the kitchen to rinse them off. 
Sighing, you follow him, lean against the counter a couple feet away as you think of something to say that won’t sound too forced.
“Hey,” you start.
Mike gives a low, “Hm?” as he holds the dishes under hot water, finally glancing over when you gently nudge him in the side.
“Thanks for…” You take a deep breath, pinned by light green eyes, then try again. “Thanks for bringing me here.” He blinks but doesn’t say anything, so you continue. “It’s really nice. And, I’ve bonded or whatever with Nana.”
“But, you miss the park,” he says.
You shrug. “I mean, yeah. That park was my life, but… Probably dying in it was not one of my brighter ideas.”
He snorts, shuts off the water, then turns to you. Craning your neck, you take in his face—really take it in—the few strands of hair that hang freely past his jawline, the way his beard, no longer stubble but not exactly thick, forms around his mouth and connects with his sideburns, his strong, slightly curved nose, how his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows. He’s so painfully handsome, especially all shaggy and rugged, and it makes your heart beat too hard and too fast in your chest. 
Mike dries his hands on a dish towel, looking down at them when he tells you, “I’m glad we were able to get you out of there. It’s not something I’ll ever feel bad about. Even if you hate me for it.”
“I don’t hate you,” you scoff. “Never could. You’re my best friend, Mike.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you smile, then think of Nanaba earlier that day and laugh quietly. 
“What?”
You wave a hand, shake your head. “Nothing, nothing, just… Nana has… Ideas, or something.”
There’s no need to elaborate. Mike understands what you’re trying to say. He inhales then breathes out it out in a chuckle as he posts up against the counter next to you. “Yeah, Gelgar does too.”
“Guess they don’t know us very well.”
A silence hangs between the two of you, one that would normally be comfortable but is now a little thick given the subject matter of your conversation.
You and Mike. Just earlier that day you had been thinking about how scared you are to ruin the friendship, but the more you imagine, the more you get lost in the fantasy…
“Or maybe…” You glance over to see Mike nibbling on his bottom lip, eyes fixed on the ground as he continues, “Maybe they know us better than we know ourselves.”
He raises his head, gaze locking with yours, and you stop breathing. Because that stare is so hesitant, searching for something inside of you as if you have the answer, but you’re just as scared and confused as he is. Over four years of friendship—of good, meaningful friendship—is that worth risking just because you’re both curious? 
Or has it all been leading to this since the start? Since those first, short conversations, since the meals shared with one another, the affectionate gestures. Mike has always kept your head on straight, looked after you with even more care than he had with the park’s wildlife. 
You thought it’d all been one-sided pining, that he was just glad to have someone who understood him a little better than everyone else because you do. You understand his passion for the planet, you understand all his little fixations. You appreciate every eccentricity like he appreciates all your neuroses. 
“Maybe so…” 
Two very large hands are on your face, tilting upward, and your lungs begin to burn as Mike strokes just under your eyes with the pads of his thumbs. He has to lean down quite a bit, pauses just over your lips to let out a tiny huff of surprise, disbelief, awe maybe, then closes the rest of the miniscule distance. 
He is very warm and very firm against you—feels good, all the comfort of someone familiar but still so new. Your lips fit together perfectly, and at last, you’re able to breathe again, mouths moving in an experimental back and forth, feeling each other out until he runs the tip of his tongue along the seam of your lips. Gripping strong shoulders, you let the kiss deepen, opening your mouth for him, and Mike groans when he’s finally able to taste you. 
Hands fall from your face, moving down, down, down, brushing your ribs, settling at your hips, but his fingers are long enough to curl and dig into the meat of your ass, making you gasp and press harder against him.
Rolling his pelvis into yours, you very quickly find yourself pinned between Mike’s body and the counter. Your grasp travels to the back of his neck, pulling him closer—you just need him closer—and he must feel it too because he hoists you up and sets you on the countertop, making room for himself between your legs.
You feel too hot and too desperate, but it’s good, a release that’s needed to happen for far too long. All manner of geothermal metaphors swim through your mind, spurting geysers and boiling mudpots, and it makes you giggle against him, biting down on his bottom lip and smiling around the flesh as he lets out another one of those rumbling, satisfied noises. 
“What’re you laughin’ at?” Mike mumbles, and for some reason, it’s strange to hear his voice so close, so quiet, as you’re pressed together, breathing each other’s air. It’s intimate and different, but it’s right. 
“I’m just…” Another little laugh, “Thinking about the volcano.”
“When are you not thinking about the volcano?” You have a feeling he’s rolling his eyes, but he still grins and kisses you again.
“It’s all dirty things if that helps.”
Mike nods slowly, lips trailing from your mouth toward your neck. “Helps some.”
You tilt your head to give him better access and let out a little whine when you feel him bite down on a patch of skin just beneath the notch of your jaw, wrap your legs around his waist and do your best to rock into him because good god, you want him. 
Fingers tangling under his loosening bun, you tug him back to your mouth, slotting your lips against his and sliding your tongue between his teeth. He presses you closer with a hand on the small of your back, squeezing the air from your lungs so all you can breathe is him. 
“Mm, Mike, Mike,” you pant, barely breaking away only for him to chase after. You laugh, push his chest at the same time you gently tug at his hair, and he backs away just enough for you to get a good look at his half-lidded eyes and spit-slicked lips. 
Honestly, staring at him now, you can’t believe you made so long without ever making a pass at him. He’s gorgeous, built like a roman statue only larger, with sun-kissed skin and a startlingly light gaze that threatens to leave you boneless. 
“D’you wanna, maybe…” You swallow and blink up at him, too many questions suddenly invading your mind—is it too early for sex? Will he think you’re easy? What if it doesn’t actually work out? But, you bite the bullet anyway and finish, “Go to the bedroom?” 
Mike is silent for a few beats, leaving you to second guess yourself and brace for disappointment and embarrassment, but then he clicks his tongue and answers, “Uh, yeah. Yes, let’s do that,” in a voice a little higher than usual, and scoops you from the counter.
Every little house on the ranch is laid out the same, so it does not take him long to find your room. He sets you down at the threshold, and from there, it’s a flurry of discarded clothing and stumbling to the bed.
“How have we never done this before?” He huffs, crawling over you, leaving wet kisses in his wake. 
You’ve still got an arm covering your bare chest, but Mike doesn’t seem self-conscious in the slightest which comes as a surprise considering how reserved he typically is. Not that he has anything worth hiding—not the thin layer of hair that dances over his barrel chest, not the ridiculously cut abdominals or sharp ‘V’ of his hips, and definitely not the thick cock bobbing against his stomach as he moves. You would be intimidated if you didn’t know him as well as you do, but you’re sure that he’ll be gentle with you. Mike may be many things, but careless is not one of them.
He reaches your mouth, kisses you so deeply it makes you dizzy, and as he does, he very slowly pulls your arm from your chest, leaving you vulnerable—free for the taking. 
His touch is soft enough to tickle as he brushes over one of your nipples, making you exhale against him and arch your back like a silent plea for more. He traces around the bud, makes it pebble before carefully rolling it between two fingers.
Warmth spills into your gut, makes you squirm on the bed, and a moan makes its way from your throat as Mike gently tugs at the sensitive flesh. He lowers his head again, lavishing the same kind of attention on your other nipple with his mouth. He nibbles and licks and sucks, and you wriggle and whimper beneath him, one hand trailing down his body until you’re able to close your fingers around the head of his cock. 
Mike grunts, thrusts into your hand a couple times, enough to make precum drool from his tip, but before he can get too carried away, he says just above a whisper, “Let me get you ready,” then moves to lay between your spread legs.
Sliding his arms under your thighs, he locks them into place, and you release a shaky breath, feeling his eyes taking you in for several seconds before licking up your slit once then pushing deeper.
“Oh, fu—”
Both your hands shoot downward, one gripping the messy bun at the back of his head as you shudder at the sensation of his beard against your pussy. You’re wet in seconds, core pulsing as Mike uses his tongue to slowly open you up, then pulls back to flick over your clit. 
“Mike—Mike—”
He hums into you, shaking his head slowly back and forth, no doubt making a mess of his face and you. You don’t have anything to say, just feel your throat tightening like there are unspoken words that need to come out, but you can’t think straight, not when he’s doing what he’s doing, not when you feel the tips of his fingers reaching out to spread your lips. 
He is thorough bordering on methodical, makes sure you’re at the point of full body shakes before he gives you a break, and then, when your breathing returns to a normal rate, he starts all over again. There is a tightness in your gut that builds and builds then dissipates every time he stops, and he must know because when you whine in frustration, Mike just grins and kisses the inside of your thighs. 
The same pattern is repeated with his fingers, just one at first, massaging your walls perfectly, then a second that makes your eyes roll into the back of your head. He rubs over the swelling tissue inside of you, seems to enjoy every little gasp and noise you make, including the unsatisfied one you let out when he pulls his fingers from you. 
You can feel how damp the bedspread is underneath you, can see the evidence of your arousal on Mike’s face, and it makes you flush but doesn’t stop you from tugging him down for another messy kiss. 
“You ready?” He asks, sounding just as breathless as you feel, and you nod furiously, bending your knees and planting your feet on the mattress so that you can lift your hips to his. 
Mike chuckles, reaches down between the two of you to take hold of his length and taps your clit with his cockhead a couple times—simultaneously the most infuriating and most erotic thing you’ve ever experienced. Slowly, he lines himself up, just barely pushing forward, and when you bite your lip and squeeze your eyes shut, Mike tells you to, “Breathe, baby, open up for me.”
He already sounds wrecked, like he’s fighting the urge to just sheathe himself entirely, but he waits, giving you one inch at a time with periods of adjustment in between. You always sort of figured he was big, but this burning stretch is something you hadn’t imagined even in your lewdest of fantasies. You’re incredibly full, feel him in your gut and throat and everywhere, but it isn’t bad; it’s just a lot. 
“Okay,” you stroke the forearm next to your head and nod. “Okay, you can start moving more.”
Mike’s brow creases. “You’re sure?”
“About as sure as I can be with a monster cock inside m-me—” Your laugh turns to a moan as Mike begins to pull out, eyes trained on your face for any sign of real discomfort, but your mouth just drops open, your own eyebrows raising at the feeling of his length hitting every one of your most sensitive spots. 
“Holy…”
He pushes back in quickly, still mindful of what your body can take, and when all you do is cry his name and scratch down his back, Mike starts up a steady rhythm that has you seeing god. 
That tightness is back, hotter than before, threatening to burn you up entirely as your cunt flutters and spasms and leaks around Mike’s length. 
The sound of a hoarse groan makes you open your eyes, and you follow Mike’s line of vision to where you’re connected, see his cock sliding in and out of you, dripping slick and ringed in white cream toward the base. The sight makes you clench around him, and Mike swears under his breath then leans forward to gather you in his arms. Your head lolls back as he lifts you, sitting on his knees for just a second before falling onto his back and letting you drop onto him. 
You choke, and Mike pants, but his hands are tight at your hips, moving you up and down his length like a sleeve. His pupils are blown wide when you look down at him, hair nearly entirely out of its tie, bottom row of teeth exposed as his jaw slides almost primally. 
He looks completely lost in you, possessed as he fucks up into your pussy rougher than before. You bounce in his lap, whimpering his name with every thrust, growing in volume when you feel a finger press against your clit. 
“You gonna come for me?” Mike grits out, rubbing a circle over the swollen bundle as his eyes flick from your chest to your face. 
You nod, ignoring the burning in your thighs in favor of the sensation between your hips. “Yeah, I—I—Fuck, Mike—”
“Come on, baby, come on—wanted to see this for years, come all over my cock…”
You snap, legs shaking as your climax crashes through you. Your cunt pulses around Mike, coating him in more of your juices and making him groan and fuck you through it. You whine at the stimulation, swollen walls so sensitive yet taking everything he has to give you.
Every thrust to your g-spot makes you gush a little more, come a little longer, until all you can do is fall onto his chest and let him use you as he needs to. You leave marks on his pecs, bites and scratches, and Mike grunts at every one of them until he sits up and flips you once again.
“Where do you want me?”
“Anywhere, I don’t care, I don’t care,” you babble.
Mike inhales sharply then lets out a long groan as he pulls out and shoots his load onto your stomach. It’s warm and thick, some pooling in your belly button as Mike makes a trail down to your clit where he smears the last few drops. You twitch at the contact, hole clenching around nothing now, but you can already feel soreness settling into your muscles. 
Mike gives you two little pecks on the mouth, then one last, longer kiss before rolling to lay on the mattress beside you, chest rising and falling with deep breaths.
This silence doesn’t bother you. It gives you time to come back to your senses, to reflect, to remember everything that was said which leads you to ask, “You meant that—about wanting this for years?”
Mike turns his head and smiles so sincerely it almost brings tears to your eyes. 
“Well, yeah. Been in love with you pretty much since I started at the park.”
He says it so casually, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, and maybe it is, but it still makes your breath catch. 
“Seriously?” You turn to lay on your side, and Mike mimics the action, propping his head up with one hand while he lets the other settle on your waist. 
He lifts an eyebrow and questions, “Is that so hard to believe?” 
“No, I just… Thought it was one-sided on my end, I guess. Like, we were too good of friends.” Mike leans forward to gently headbutt you, and you snort to yourself, “Guess I was wrong.”
“We were both being stupid,” he mumbles. “But, we were also focused on other things, married to the job or whatever.”
Lifting your face makes him lift his, and you smile into another kiss, feeling happier and more balanced than you have in a very long time. 
Without much more discussion, you and Mike get up to rinse off, sharing more soft touches under the spray of the shower before crawling into bed together. Falling asleep feels like coming home.
You don’t even mind the smug grin on Nanaba’s face when she sees you and Mike leave your house together in the morning, nor the teasing jabs Gelgar throws your way over lunch. You don’t know if anything is capable of knocking you out of your perfect, peaceful little world on this perfect, peaceful little homestead.
Except maybe a supereruption, of course. 
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E - D A Y 
It happens right in the middle of the morning news. You and Mike are sipping on coffee, expecting the same report you’ve gotten every day— “Nothing yet, closely monitoring, blah blah”—but as the English news anchor tries to introduce the meteorologist, he stops, holds a hand to the speaker in his ear, then looks at the camera with wide yes. 
“I’m—I’m getting news that the Yellowstone supervolcano has just begun to erupt, we’re cutting to the US address at Washington D.C. now—”
And just like that, Levi’s face is suddenly on screen, picking him up mid-sentence. 
“... One vent open at the present time, but more will open shortly. Stay indoors, ration your food. This is what we’ve been preparing for.” He looks tired, and when you do the math, you understand why: seven AM in Norway is one AM in D.C., meaning Levi was probably woken up to make the announcement. 
As always, you can make out Erwin’s figure behind him, hands clasped tight and shaking, and it isn’t until Mike puts a hand on your shoulder that you realize you are trembling right along with your old boss.
“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” he reassures you. “We’re gonna be okay here.”
You nod and let him pull you closer to him as both of you look back to the screen and listen to what your old colleagues have to say.
The news stays on for the rest of the day. At around ten, the second vent opens up. Then another. Then another. Levi keeps track, expression never betraying the fear he must be feeling, even when he delivers the message that a full ring around the caldera has opened up. 
“Obviously, we can’t get in close enough to look, but we estimate at least two thousand four hundred and fifty cubic kilometers of eruptible magma will pour from the volcano. That’s the size of the eruption from around two million years ago, but it could be worse with the current number of vents…”
The journalists on site, usually so ready to ask questions and challenge Levi, are silent today, and you imagine they’re staring with eyes the size of saucers, not quite believing what they’re hearing because it’s happening. It’s finally happening. 
You eat a quiet, solemn lunch at Nanaba and Gelgar’s, no one knowing what to say. You feel nauseous, stunned, not unlike losing a loved one. You’re able to forget the absolute destruction taking place in the states for a few minutes at a time, but it always comes back to you, punching you in the gut with the same, brute force every time.
The park. The lab. The forests. The towns. Cities, states, homes, lives, all wiped off the map. 
Erwin takes Levi’s place as public speaker close to five, probably to let the other man get some sleep, and reports that the portable seismogram, still linked to the remaining seismographs located around the park, show that there are near continuous earthquakes taking place, “Which could either help should enough earth shift to block the magma chamber, or make things worse by disrupting it further.”
“E is not very good at keeping people’s hopes up,” you mutter, and Mike chuckles.
“Yeah, I see why he makes Levi do all the talking now.”
You both receive texts from the rest of the team, Levi’s coming at an appropriate time but the others reaching you at odd hours of the night when you’re nestled in Mike’s arms.
Neither of you sleep as reality sets in the rest of the way. That was it. The beginning of the end of everything you know. Everything is about to change.
You sniff, try to be as quiet as possible as the tears you’ve been holding back all day finally begin to fall, but Mike knows, feels your body stiffen as you curl into yourself. 
He hugs you close to him but doesn’t say anything, just rests his cheek against yours and holds your hand. 
There’s nothing anyone can say to make this better, no amount of optimism or determination that will make this any easier. Your home is covered in miles of pyroclastic flow, and as it hasn’t stopped yet, you know this is just the start. Soon, anything left alive will be suffocated by the tephra, people, animals, and vegetation alike. Though you won’t die where you are, everyone at the ranch will be feeling the effects soon enough.
Your mother calls from France where her and your dad decided to “vacation” for the next several years. She’s worked up about not being able to get through to you for almost an entire day, and even as you reassure her that you’re mostly fine, she hears the way your voice cracks and offers to fly to Norway.
“Mom, the airports are shut down by now,” you sigh. “We already talked about this. We can’t see each other for a while, but we’ll FaceTime until we can’t anymore.” Until the cell towers are knocked out, you don’t say.
“I just know my baby girl is hurting right now. I know how much you loved—”
“I know,” you cut her off, scared that hearing it from her mouth will just make you lose it again. “I know, but I’m okay here with Mike and everyone else.”
“You’re sure?” She sniffles, sounding a lot like you. “Cause your father and I will find a way to get to you if you need us.”
“I’m sure, Mom,” you tell her with a sad smile she can’t see. “Get some rest, okay?”
You share many calls like that, many ill-timed text messages until the eruption finally comes to an end six days later. The damage it’s done is incalculable—the entirety of the United states now covered in a cloud of ash that blocks out the sun. 
It doesn’t reach you for a few days, but every time you go outside, Mike sniffs the air and mumbles something like, “Smells like sulfur,” or “It’s getting closer”, but after another week, the entire globe is covered. 
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1  M O N T H  A F T E R
Everything is an estimation. Everyone knows that a massive amount of magma erupted, but they don’t know how much. Everyone knows that a large number of people have died, but they don’t know how many. There are too many mysteries, and it’s nowhere near safe enough to send search crews out. 
Despite all the warnings, people are still trying to go outside—to see the ash, to review the damage, but even with cloth or medical grade masks, they’re breathing in the dangerous particles floating in the air, tiny minerals that turn to a cement-like substance in their lungs, and because of that, the death count is only rising. 
News reports cut in and out, as do phone calls. Some texts never get sent or received, so all you truly have is your little home and Mike. 
And, you cry, and you mourn, and you miss your friends and family—fuck, you don’t even know how you’ll survive so long without them—but you also revel in the fact that you’re safe. Not everyone can say that. The fact that you had almost willingly stayed in the most dangerous zone of the explosion is laughable now. There’s no way you and Erwin would have survived that, something he agrees with you on when you share a short phone call with him just to check how he and Levi are doing. 
They’ll be staying at the Homeland Security compound for the forseeable future, but he assures you they’re well-prepared to brave the years-long gray storm. 
Without any livestock to take care of, or mouths to feed other than yours and Mike’s, you find yourself with an abundance of free time. You still have power thanks to the solar panels and the couple of windmills set up around the ranch, but you don’t know how long that will last. 
You both read a lot, do puzzles together, fall into bed both out of desire and just because there’s not much better to do.
And, that part of your apocalyptic life is kind of great. Mike is great. He takes care of you both in and out of the bedroom, is gentle with you until you tell him not to be, and then he’s more than happy to succumb to your needs. He’d invested in a frankly absurd amount of condoms before the eruption so he wouldn’t have to worry about pulling out every time, but every once in a while you want him like you had him the first time—desperate and passionate and completely raw. 
That’s the feeling you’re experiencing tonight, staring at Mike from your place on the couch rather than at the book in your hands.
You see him smile before he actually looks at you, but when he does, he has a glint in his eyes you’ve gotten very familiar with over the last month. 
“Need something, baby?”
You bite your lip to keep from grinning too bashfully and glance back down at the open pages on your lap. “Nuh uh.”
“You sure?”
“Mhm,” you nod. 
“Really?” Mike puts down the wildlife magazine he’s perusing and leans closer to you. “’Cause it looks like you might want something.”
You cross your legs, flip a page you haven’t even read, and shake your head. 
It’s a dumb game you’ve both started to play, who can hold out the longest. Of course, the longest record is one you both hold—four years and some odd months—but other than that, you usually make it two or three days at most.
But it’s hard with him walking around looking like he does, and for someone so quiet, Mike is mischievous and handsy, knowing just how to rile you up only to walk away and leave you to whatever you were doing before. He whispers in your ear, he grabs your ass, sometimes he’ll just stand right behind you in the kitchen and inhale, trace his nose up your neck so that you shiver and break out in goosebumps, then mumble a shameless, “You smell nice.”
He’s troublingly good at driving you crazy, and you realize this is why it took you so long to actually get together. You can’t imagine being this wound up and wanton in the lab with everyone there to see. 
“You know,” Mike speaks again. You look at him from the corner of your eyes as he leans back against the cushions and nonchalantly kicks an ankle over his thigh. “A lot of people are dying. Like, thousands. Millions.”
Frowning, you nod. “Uh, yeah. Worldwide disaster taking place.”
“Yeah, it’s a shame,” he adds. His lips twitch upward for a second before he purses them, waiting for another couple seconds then stating, “Should probably start thinking about… Efforts to repopulate.”
Eyes widening, you tilt your head to the side in disbelief, a short, incredulous laugh bubbling from your throat.
“You should be ashamed of yourself, Mike Zacharias!” 
Reaching behind you, you grab a throw pillow and launch it at him. Mike shields himself easily, choking and chuckling as he tries to defend himself, “I’m just—saying! It’s something to keep in mind!”
“Trying to guilt me into sex—” You smack his forearms with the pillow again, “As if I’m not already easy for you—" smack, smack, “—by bringing up all the people dying out there. What is the matter with you?”
He gets a hold of the pillow and rips it from your hands then hugs it to his chest and stares at you with that uncharacteristically devious look. “Is it working?”
You scoff at him, gently kick at his thigh in one last act of defiance before responding, “I mean, kinda.”
And, that’s all he needs to hear before he’s throwing himself at you, pinning you to the couch even as you giggle and squirm, ridding you of the comfortable clothes you have on so that he can kiss and lick every part of you he can reach. He acts like he’s hungry for you, and you have to use all your strength to shove him off of you just so that you can work his pants off and return the favor. 
Mike is all grunts and curses as you work him over with your tongue, a hand on the back of your head heavy but not pressuring. He trembles as you take him deeper, his tip hitting the back of your throat and sliding just a little further. 
It always hurts your jaw, leaves it sore for a full twenty-four hours at least, but the way his jaw drops and his hands ball into fists make it worth it. 
You use one hand to stroke what your mouth can’t reach, the other settling between your own thighs to get you to where you need to be, and only when Mike is panting and you’re dripping slick into your curled palm do you pull off of him.
He helps you into his lap, lets you take your time sliding down his length, because even after as much practice as you’ve had, it hasn’t exactly gotten easier. He’s still massive, and you still have to will yourself to relax around him, but once your muscles have loosened enough, you begin to rock your hips. 
Mike lets you use him like that for a few minutes, knows he’s at the perfect angle to rub over your g-spot, so he just watches and leans forward to place teasing kisses around your open mouth. 
“Feel good, baby?” His voice drips like honey as he grips onto you to aid in your movement. 
Nodding, you dig your nails into his shoulders, then shift to start moving up and down his length. Mike takes it as his cue to take over completely, strong enough to lift and drop you as he pleases, and you both fall into a frenzy of motion, desperate to get off, to get each other off, to share that euphoria. 
“Do you actually want to?” You ask in a daze.
Mike cracks his eyes open to ask, “What?” and slows down enough to give you enough breathing room to speak. “Do I wanna what?”
Making lazy air quotes with your fingers, you mimic his deep voice, “Repopulate,” then elaborate, “Have kids. Do you want that?” 
Everything stops. Your hips still, as do Mike’s, and he stares at you, the lusty haze of his gaze clearing as he processes what you’re asking. 
Feeling completely exposed, you try to rationalize, “I know, I know, we’ve only been doing this for, like, a month, and it’s kind of a terrible time to actually bring new life into the world, but if I’m gonna do it with anyone—”
Mike fists both hands in the hair at the back of your head, pulls you to him to smash your lips together. When he starts bouncing you again, your muffled moan is still loud in the small living room, and Mike’s voice comes out somewhere between desperate and destroyed when he tells you, “Yeah, I want kids. Want you to have my kids.”
“Okay,” you breathe, matching his rhythm, then again, “Okay.”
A switch seems to flip in Mike’s head. You watch and experience him devolve into someone—something—primal. He fucks you like he never has before, long hair hanging in his face, lip caught between his teeth as he groans around it, pistoning into you quick and rough.
“You want it?” He growls, pausing to suck a mark at the swell of your breast. “You want me to come in this pussy?”
Your heart stutters, jaw dropping slightly because Mike isn’t a vulgar man, never has been, but now, the way he’s looking up at you with wild eyes, you know all he needs is the right push, and he’ll lose it completely. 
“Yeah, fuck, want you to fill me up, please,” you whine.
Your world tilts as he tosses you long ways on the couch, sliding back into you with ease and demanding, “Touch yourself.”
You grin slyly, “What, don’t have the focus?”
“Not really,” he admits, flicking sweaty hair from his eyes. 
Two of your fingers find your clit, massaging it the way you always do when you’re desperate for an orgasm. It makes you clamp tighter around Mike, and you tell him again—beg for him— “Please, baby, want you so bad.”
He comes quicker than usual, shooting line after line deep inside of you until it starts dripping out around his cock. 
He can’t stay inside you for long, unable to take the way you keep clenching and twitching from your own ministrations, so Mike pulls out and shimmies down your body so that his face is just above your cunt. At first, he just stares (like always), admiring your swollen folds and how messy you are, but soon he pushes a finger into you, attaching his mouth to your clit shortly after.
It doesn’t take you long. The thought of him fingerfucking his cum further into you paired with the actual sensation of it sends you over the edge within a few minutes, and the two of you are left sweaty and panting, too drunk off each other to really think about the gravity of what you’ve just done but enjoying it all the same. 
The feeling eventually returns to your legs, some of the fog in your brain dissipating as you run your hand through Mike’s hair, and when you find that you can, you voice, “Can we even handle a kid? Or like… Can a kid handle the world as it is?”
“Kids are weirdly resilient,” Mike speaks, face pressed against your stomach so that you can feel the vibrations. “And, maybe there’ll eventually be a race of super babies or something—have enhanced lungs to deal with ash. Darkvision and shit.”
You snort and shake your head. “Dummy.”
He retaliates by blowing a raspberry just above your belly-button, grins lopsidedly when you squeal. 
“But really, our kids’ll be fine. Volcanologist for a mom and an Eagle Scout for a dad? Doesn’t get much better than that.”
“Oh my god, you were actually in Boy Scouts? Does Levi know?”
Mike makes a little ‘pft’ sound and shoots you an unimpressed look. “Of course not. Like, I’d ever let that tiny, tiny man be right about anything.”
Your laugh is so deep and genuine, it makes your whole body shake. Mike raises his head to keep it from bouncing so much, but you can feel him staring for the duration of your giggle fit. Even through squinted, teary eyes, you can see his gaze is full of adoration, and you figure having two parents who love each other as much as the two of you do will at least make the hard life ahead of you a little easier for a child. 
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4  Y E A R S  A F T E R
Heavy snow falls outside, adding to the thick layers on the ground and clouding the window you’re staring out of. The carrier is nicely heated, ensuring you and its other two occupants stay toasty as you keep eye out for incoming headlights. 
“Think that’s them,” Mike says, and you swivel to look out his driver’s side window to see two dull beams of light growing brighter and brighter. 
“Don’t know who else it would be,” you joke. “No one else is dumb enough to come back to this place.”
The only sign of your husband raising his eyebrows is the way his hat shifts slightly. “You’re right about that.”
Cinching fur-lined hoods tighter, you both slide out of the tram, boots crunching on ice and snow when you land on the ground. Mike circles to your side, opens the back door, then unbuckles and collects what looks to be a bundle of jackets in his arms. Two light eyes peer out between a beanie and a face mask, gloved hands reaching out and grabbing for you. 
“You want Mama?” Mike coos before passing your son to you.
You settle him on your hip, rub his shielded nose with yours, hoping your body heat will help keep him warm out here.
It’s been winter for… Years, now, the ash from the eruption having behaved exactly as you thought it would, blocking out the sun, and sending the planet hurtling into another ice age. It was something not everyone was prepared for—the intense cold, the food and water shortage, the isolation, but you were lucky. You had everything you needed.
The other snow vehicle stops a ways off, lights left on as two figures jump out, recognizable even when completely covered up. One is nearly as tall as Mike, the other considerably smaller even up close. 
Pulling his mask down, Erwin shows a brilliant smile as he stops in front of you and Mike, and Levi immediately protests— “Oi, cover your mouth, old man! You need it for more than just talking shit.”
Mike laughs, but still reprimands the other man with a pointed, “Levi,” and a nod toward the little boy you’re holding. 
“Fuck—I mean…” Levi takes in a deep breath then apologizes over the whistling wind and falling snow, “Sorry, Huck.”
Bouncing him on your hip, you peer at your son and prompt, “Huckleberry, you remember Levi and Erwin from the computer?” 
Though your team has seen him many times on Zoom and FaceTime, this is first time Huck is meeting any of them in the flesh.
Your son looks between them for a while, quiet as he sizes up both of the men, then he reaches out for Levi the same way he had for you just moments before. Levi makes a dissatisfied noise but still takes him from you, and once Huck is passed off, you shuffle to Erwin and wrap your arms around him, breathing into his chest and warming your face. 
Your boss squeezes you tightly, mutters a low, “I know, I missed you too.”
It isn’t enough to drown out Levi’s sing-song baby voice, and both you and Erwin glance over to find him with his forehead pressed to Huck’s as he teases, “Can’t believe your parents named you after a volcanic eruption. That was pretty dumb, right?”
Mike glides over, places one hand on Huck’s head and the other on Levi’s, then sighs. “Please don’t criticize my wife’s terrible taste in nam—”
“Hey! You agreed to it,” you shout, taking the little boy back from Levi and glaring at both the smiling men. “Better shut up before you give him a complex. He can understand things, you know. He’s three.”
“Huckleberry Pine Zacharias,” Levi scoffs. “I cannot stand you guys.”
“I think it’s a great name,” Erwin interjects, lightly tapping Huck’s nose under his mask. 
“Well, you have shit taste, too.”
“Obviously, if I married a little gremlin like you,” Erwin drawls easily, leaning into the punch that Levi throws into his arm.
“Anyway, we’re here for a reason, right? Other than freezing our asses off?”
“Yeah,” Mike nods, kicking at the snow on the ground like it’ll make a difference. 
All of you know that buried beneath all the white is dried pyroclast, but under that… 
Is what remains of Yellowstone.
“How do we even go about rebuilding?” Mike is the first to ask.
Erwin stares at his own feet, face scrunched up in thought for a while before looking back up and stating, “From the bottom. Everything starts with a good foundation.”
Levi just scoffs, but you and Mike lock eyes and share a hidden grin. 
You take Huck back from Levi, leaning in for a side hug as you do, then suggest to everyone, “Well, then, now that we’ve seen a little of what we’re working with, we should head back to the shelter and start making a plan.”
“Yeah,” Levi agrees. “Gotta start getting ready for the next eruption due in seven hundred thousand years, right?”
“Right.”
After splitting back up into the two separate carriers, Mike follows closely behind the other in order to make it to their newly built bunker without getting lost. It’s perpetually dark from the never ending snow and cloud coverage, hazardous even with the vehicle’s tracks, but you can’t find it in yourself to be scared. Not now, not when life finally feels to be returning to something close to normal. 
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lipstickstainz · 3 years
Text
five times - s. r.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader Summary: A collection of the times Spencer says “I love you” without saying it, and the one time he actually does. Warnings: tooth rotting fluff Word Count: 2k, it’s a short one A/N: happy new year guys! since you wanted this to be fluffy, here it is! hope you enjoy! gif not mine.
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Spencer didn't know what he had been expecting when Hotch had announced to the team that they would have young additions. He had assumed that the newcomer would be pretty serious so that he would be taken seriously, and that he would be very reserved at the beginning to get to know the team first and not offend anyone. But he definitely wasn't expecting you.
On your first day, you showed up to work in a knee-length summer dress and high Converse, which threw him off right from the start. While JJ and Emily always wore something office appropriate, you didn't seem to mind catching everyone's eye. With an infectious confidence and a big smile on your face, you introduced yourself to the others. While most of the team looked at you as if you were from another star - except for Penelope Garcia, of course, she was incredibly happy to finally know another colorful bird in the midst - Spencer liked that you stayed true to yourself. No matter what anyone else thought of you.
You went through life with an ease that was quite atypical of your profession. It almost reminded Spencer of Garcia, but only almost. You didn't have to look away when someone showed you photos of dead bodies. He sometimes caught himself worrying that the job would eventually take away your cheerfulness.
"'DO NOT TOUCH' would probably be a really unsettling thing to read in braille“, you said as you sat in the bullpen. Your desk bordered his, so Spencer only had to look up from his files to give you an amused look.
"Where did you come up with that?", he asked, a smile curling his lips.
You shrugged before looking at him. "I don't know. But it would be pretty disturbing, wouldn't it? How fortunate that it can't happen to me."
Spencer tilted his head. "Because you're not blind?"
"Because I can't read braille“, you replied with a grin, and he laughed out loud, drawing everyone's attention. Spencer smiled briefly at them and motioned for them to turn back to their work so you could continue talking undisturbed.
He leaned a little in your direction before whispering to you.
"Your head must be a wonderful place to live in."
-
It was incredibly loud and the air was too stuffy to be able to grasp a clear thought. But maybe it was just the alcohol the bartender was pouring out like Penelope had certain nicknames regarding Derek. But it also seemed to be Garcia's goal to get the entire team drunk on her birthday. She had round after round coming to your booth, repeating "one of you is dancing on the table today" several times. You were sure it would be Penelope herself. Or JJ.
You were enjoying yourself with Emily on the dance floor of the club. You were incredibly warm, which was probably 75% due to the alcohol you had already drunk. You were wearing tight jeans and a backless, loose top, and yet your skin was so hot that the clothes almost stuck to you. At first you had worried that Emily and you were too different to become friends, but one day she showed up on your doorstep after an exhausting case and stayed all night. It had bonded you together.
In a quiet moment, you looked to the others and Derek raised an arm, signaling you were ready for the next round of shots. You grabbed Emily's arm and, singing, you squeezed through the crowd toward the table.
"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends“, you sang, and you dropped into the empty seat next to Spencer, who looked at you with amusement. "Make it last forever, friendship never eeeend“, you sang on, leaning back in Spencer's direction without touching him. When he tried to put his arm around you to pull you close, you pushed him away. "I'm sweaty and sticky, Spence. I don't think you're into that."
But Spencer reached for your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours before pulling you onto his lap. His breath brushed your face and you smelled the alcohol in it. "I don't care. I love touching you."
-
"There's a documentary about the formation of the universe and black holes in theaters tonight“, Spencer said. The team was on its way back from a case in Dallas, and while the others were resting or listening to music, you two were playing chess. Not that it was fair, but you liked the challenge and Spencer finally had someone to play with again. "I was wondering if you would like to join me. This case has been exhausting and I think we could use a distraction." He asked without looking up from the chessboard. His face turned glowing red, which you didn't notice because you were trying not to go checkmate in three moves.
You moved your queen before you looked at him. His shoulders were tense and he was breathing shallowly. Spencer bit the inside of his lower lip nervously. "I'd love to“, you smiled, and at your reply he seemed to visibly relax.
Spencer picked you up at home after you showered and got ready. You were wearing jeans and a loose sweater. Up until that point, Spencer had been sure you couldn't get any more beautiful, but when you hugged him with a sparkle in your eye and a warmth in your smile, he wasn't sure anymore.
"Origin of the universe and black holes?", you assured yourself as you stood outside the movie theater. Spencer nodded, his hands buried in his pants pockets. You smirked. "You have to promise me one thing, though."
"And that would be?", he asked as he paid for the tickets and put yours in your hand. You smiled at him.
"You have to promise me that you will tell me every one of your clever thought processes. I want to hear every comment you make, all right? Even if people around us complain."
It was the second time Spencer and you had done something together outside of work, and you enjoyed his company very much, which of course was partly because you'd had a crush on him ever since he'd once explained something to you about his case that you hadn't understood. Spencer had explained it to you as well as he could, and when you thanked him afterwards, he didn't know what hit him. No one cared about his clever anecdotes or explanations, and the fact that you had even thanked him for it made his heart beat faster. Just as it did now.
Spencer looked at you, pleased. "We're the only ones at the movies, Y/N. No one's going to complain."
"Then you can explain everything I don't understand at your leisure."
You entered the movie theater and took your seats. He handed you the packet of popcorn. "You are my partner in crime. You are my favorite person."
-
"The exhibit was very interesting“, you said as you left the museum. It hadn't been your first visit, but visiting it with Spencer was a very different experience. You liked that he had something to say about most of the exhibits. "Thank you for being here with me."
Spencer smiled down at you. "Well, actually, I asked you to go here with me. So I have to say thank you."
"But I wouldn't have been here tonight if you hadn't asked me. So, thanks for that."
Your apartment wasn't far away, and with each step you hoped the evening wouldn't end just yet. As you stood in front of your apartment complex, Spencer nervously stepped from one foot to the other. "I had a really nice evening“, he confessed.
"Me too." If you didn't want the evening to end now, you had to take the plunge. "I'd never been on a date to a museum before."
Spencer's eyes widened and for a moment you feared you had misinterpreted everything. The looks, the stories and the touches. But Spencer stopped your train of thought. "Neither have I. Well, I had been to a museum before, of course, but it had never been dates, and I'm glad I was there with you“, he babbled, blushing, which made you smile. You liked that you could read his feelings from his face. "Um, maybe we can meet again tomorrow? For dinner? If that's not too much for you?"
You didn't answer him, but put your arms around his neck and gently pulled him down to you. In his face you searched for signs that he didn't want this, and when you couldn't find any, you gently placed your lips on his.
At first he didn't return the kiss, which you attributed to his surprise. He stiffened and it took a moment for the synapses in his brain to realize what exactly was happening. You were kissing him. And you had kissed him first. When his mind started thinking again, his hands settled on your waist and he pulled you a little closer to him to deepen the kiss. When you broke away from each other, he had a gleam in his eyes.
"I recorded a short film about quantum physics that was on TV“, you whispered, opening your eyes while he kept his still closed. "If you like, you can come upstairs with me and we can watch it together."
The short movie played as background music while you sat on your couch and kissed until your lips were swollen and your lungs were gasping for air.When he broke away from you for a moment, all he could do was whisper.  "I'm addicted to you."
-
You had tried to keep your relationship a secret, and had failed miserably.
It had taken a psychopath, a hostage, and an explosion for you to fall into each other's arms and for Spencer to kiss you stormily in front of the team. His fingers dug into your skin and would surely leave bruises, but you didn't care. You had escaped the explosion by a hair and Spencer couldn't help but thank all the gods and pull you close to him as you stood in front of him.
"I thought you had been in the building“, he breathed as he gently pushed you off of him to look at you. "I thought I'd lost you."
A tear rolled down your cheek, which he wiped away with his thumb. "You're not getting rid of me that easily, Spence." He pressed another kiss to your mouth before someone cleared their throat. The team stood just a few steps away from you, watching you, which was pretty embarrassing. Except for Hotch, everyone looked pleased and delighted, but you also didn't miss Hotch pressing a bill into JJ's hand.
"That's why you didn't want to go on that blind date I set you up with“, Derek grinned, putting a brotherly arm around Spencer's shoulders. "Pretty boy has a girlfriend."
Nothing ever felt so good as sharing a bed with Spencer after that day. You were half on top of him, he had his arm wrapped around you, and your legs were tangled under the covers. His fingers stroked your bare back and yours danced across his chest. He took a deep breath.
"Are you all right?", you asked, looking at him.
He swallowed. "I know we haven't been together that long and it's probably way too soon, but I almost lost you today and I can't keep it to myself any longer." Gently, he pushed you off of him and propped himself up on his elbow so he had to look down at you. "You're not just my favorite person, Y/N. You inspire me every day and you complete me in every way. You are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with." He put his hand to your cheek and you snuggled against his warm skin. "I love you, Y/N."
- tags below -
@mollygetssherlockcoffee​ / @averyhotchner​ / @ravenclawrandomness​ 
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