#I love the way he tian looks at guan shan sometimes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thaimeiser · 2 years

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I thought of something and I apologize if anyone pointed that out before, I swear I didn't see it and I'm not stealing your observation.

I was talking to a friend of mine about He Tian's and She Li's obssession towards Mo Guan Shan when I suddenly realized that Old Xian is way clever than I thought. And the meaning behind that conclusion is that they could represent an obssession, the feeling of possessiveness with another person, that at the same time that is very similar, the objective behind it is totally different.

In the begining of 19 Days I have to admit that I hated the relationship between HT and MGS because it was full of possessiveness, abuse, violence and threatens. I know MGS was totally wrong in the incident with Zhan Zheng Xi but I saw no reason to He Tian's continuous actions towards him. It was only with time and perseverence that I learned how to start really liking their relationship.

As I was discussing with my friend, HT's past is what made him behave like that. He didn't have a mother nor a father to actually care about him, only He Cheng but he was involved with the mafia, the thing HT hated the most so you can guess what type of teen he grew up to be. A person without almost any sense of love or affection, a person who wasn't familiar with the idea of what caring actually is. So when MGS stepped into his life he did to him the only thing he knew to do. Demonstrate his feelings through domination and possessive behaviour, because that was what life teached him to do/be. Being selfish and doing what he "needed" to get what he wanted.

I'm not gonna waste too much time talking about all the aspects about HT and MGS relationship, but in summary I can say that I'm really proud of our boys. I'm proud of HT for starting to realize that this wasn't the way it was supposed to be, he wasn't going to get MGS trust or love by being a total asshole and forcing the boy to like him. His character development is still on-going, he still gotta a lot to learn, sometimes we can forget but they're still teens. That fact won't erase the very bad things he did in the past, nor do I want it to because it all shows how much our boy has improved through time, but it shows that he can be very mature for boys his age.

Whilst we see the development of HT, we see the decay of She Li to his worst period. She Li's obssession with MGS can be clearlier than HT's because he isn't after MGS love, he is after MGS undoing. He wants to see the boy wrecked, destroid and he makes it very clear.

In my point of view based in what we could see about She Li's childhood, he's also from a complicated family. His parents seemed to argue a lot to the point where their kid was being taken care by some servants, and I suppose he grew up like HT, without enough love or affection. That made him cold and distant, and with a strange fascination for d*ath and hurting people/animals. He's described as a ps*cho. I can't confirm if he really is one, but his obssession and need to dominate and humilliate MGS is an enormous red flag.

In this chapter we can see the difference between him and MGS, how they were treated. I don't think jealousy is the best word to describe what he might have felt, cause I'm not sure if he's actually capable of feeling it, I'd rather say envyness. He's envy because that little boy was feeling and having everything he didn't get the chance to experiment. MGS was feeling pain, a sensation that She Li couldn't, and was being held caringly by his mother, another thing She Li didn't have.

She Li, then, found the opportunity and started to treat MGS like an animal, "his dog", so he could take out his anger and frustration on that lucky boy who had everything. I believe he enjoys seeing MGS miserable because that's the only moment where he can actually feel something. He must feel powerfull and proud of himself for making MGS look so pityfull.

And that is the biggest difference between HT's and She Li's obsession towards MGS.

While HT seeks for MGS attention, love and affection, She Li searches for his ruin so he himself can feel something.

HT feels a desire.

She Li feels envyness.

Even though they both have a similar past and a possessive obsession with the same boy, they followed extremely different paths, in which one can find hope and the other decay.

And I admire Old Xian for creating such similar, but at the same time, opposite characters.

Yet again I apologize if someone pointed that out before and I apologize for any errors, english is not my mother language.

#19 days #he tian #mo guan shan #she li #tianshan #19天 #rambling #old xian

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muqingseyeroll · 2 years

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i feel like i should make a post saying what my blog is about. i mostly use tumblr on mobile (i know), and mostly i just kinda use it casually, lurking around, and saving/rbing stuff that i like. so don’t expect too much organization or original content here. but the stuff i do make myself, i tag with #made by suna.

i’m (currently) into danmei/bl, which this blog is mostly dedicated to. but again i am a disorganized mess so i will probably like and rb other stuff on here too.

if you know any good gl media set in ancient asia, please please please let me know because i am desperate for it but cannot find it anywhere :C

i consume most danmei in chinese since i grew up in china and am a native speaker, so sometimes i may be confused about the english names of places/things/people’s titles in these works. please be gentle ^_^

if you scroll down far enough you can find random stuff i rb’d before i really knew how tumblr worked and before i got into danmei so you can just ignore them :’)

under the cut: what i’ve watched/read, what’s next on my list, and my sloppy tagging system. i might update it whenever, or not. we’ll see c:

here is the list of things i’ve read/watched/am into:

mo dao zu shi / grandmaster of demonic cultivation by mxtx

i’ve watched chen qing ling / the untamed (live action adaptation)

i’ve read the book

i’ve watched the q animation

i’m a few eps into the animated adaptation but i need a subscription to continue so i put it on pause for now

have not listened to the audio dramas

my ships:

lan wangji/wei wuxian, lan xichen/jin guangyao

my no-no ships:

jiang cheng/wei wuxian, jiang cheng/wen qing, wei wuxian/wen qing

ships that i don’t feel too much about either way:

jiang cheng/nie huaisang, 3zun

any of the junior ships (they’re all so cute together, any pair would work well tbh lmao)

tian ya ke / faraway wanderers by priest

i’ve watched shan he ling / word of honor (live action adaptation)

have not watched the shl concert

have not read the book

started a little bit on the prequel book qi ye / lord seventh

my ships:

wen kexing/zhou zishu, ye baiyi/rong changqing, cao weining/gu xiang, jing beiyuan/wuxi (basically all the canon ships)

du pusa/qiao luohan (the two ladies out of the four scorpion assassins)

luo fumeng/liu qianqiao (tragicomic ghost/beauty ghost)

my no-no ships:

ye baiyi/wen kexing (seriously who came up with this? no judgment to people who enjoy it but personally it’s really not for me lmao)

ships that i feel neutral about:

hanwenzhou

tian guan ci fu / heaven official’s blessing by mxtx

i’ve watched season 1 of the animated adaptation

i’m looking forward to the live action adaptation!! (hopefully airing in 2023) i’m not sure what name it’s going by yet

i’ve just started on the book

and a long time ago i’ve watched nirvana in fire / lang ya bang, which is not bl but is still a great period drama. 10/10 recommend

on my list next, in no particular order, are the following:

svsss

2ha

sha po lang

qiang jin jiu

love between fairy and devil (bg, not bl)

kinnporsche (thai, not chinese)

hannibal (also not chinese)

feel free to send recommendations my way!!

i have an awful tagging system, but basically:

#woh -- word of honor/tian ya ke stuff

#wenzhou -- wen kexing/zhou zishu

#woh gifs, #woh fanfic, #woh fanart, #woh fan comic

#mdzs -- mo dao zu shi/chen qing ling stuff

#wangxian -- lan wangji/wei wuxian

#mdzs fanfic, #mdzs fanart, #mdzs fan comic

#tgcf -- tian guan ci fu stuff

#hualian -- hua cheng/xie lian

character tags: #wen kexing, #zhou zishu, #wei wuxian, #lan wangji, etc

my stuff: #made by suna

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ganen-cheese · 3 years

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Hey um so i look up to you alot I've asked a question before like how you can draw in that style yn and um I just wanted to ask what should I draw um if you can help I have massive art block and I cant think so anything you recommend would be good

Hi Anon I hope you’re doing alright.

Art blocks are a pain. Sometimes listening to new music or consuming different media help me. During this pandemic it’s especially hard isn’t it! Maybe you can try to draw something that you wanna do outside or sceneries you wanna see too.

For TianShan, I’m not sure what will make you tick but let me give you some things I want to see, Anon 🥺 I’ll try to be creative. Also if you guys have anything to suggest for Anon pls leave a comment!!

For TianShan, (if you draw backgrounds!) I found it super easy to draw future setting because I didn’t have to know the canon furniture! I can just invent anything I wanted and it was super liberating. You can go ham on what you think they will have. Even if you don’t draw backgrounds maybe you can try to draw now that you have an art block. To try something new! So maybe you can draw a future setting TianShan at their home playing games together or maybe they get a pet 🥺. If TianShan gets a pet what do you think they will get? I actually have plans to draw this too and I wanna see your thoughts as well 🥺.

Royalty TianShan AU or ancient China/ old times AU. I really love ancient Chinese attire and He Tian and Mo Guan Shan look absolutely amazing in them. I lowkey wanna read a fic with the current chapter’s play in a real “ancient” setting. Where He Tian kidnaps Mo! 😂🔫

TianShan with eyeglasses. I completely forgot about eyeglasses but I saw it on @tianshanism ‘s post and I’m like... oh my god we need more TianShan with eyeglasses.

ABO TianShan 😂🔫

It’s summer! Let TianShan go on a vacation to the beach. Maybe a private island or maybe a normal one locally with Jian Yi and Zhan Zheng Xi. Maybe based on OX’s newest art with them going on a vacation!

Mo Guan Shan on a motorcycle gifted by He Tian hahaha. Based on the 2020 New Year art by Old Xian.

He Tian protecting Mo from a bug or insect. I have this draft for a comic where HT goes fight a c**kr**ch at Mo’s apartment XD. Maybe you can draw it.

I have a thing for AUs with He Tian going back in time to save Mo or He Tian living more than 400 years to see Mo again haha. >_> But I think that’s more of a fic idea. If you know Mirai Nikki/Future Diary. I drew one based on it before. He Tian saying Yuno’s “It’s okay Little Mo... I’ll protect you” in the way he said “I’ll beat up anyone who dares to bully you” in the “I’ll be your lackey” chapter haha. I’m sorry if you don’t know it ><! Maybe similar to Hunger Games or Battle Royale, which is more popular! He Tian and Mo Guan Shan would team up or at least, He Tian will push himself to protect Mo during the event, even if Mo thinks He Tian wants to kill him.

AU where Mo and He Tian meet their counterpart’s younger selves and how they would take care of them! Younger Mo and He Tian are so precious!!! How would Mo react to innocent He Tian and how would He Tian react to Extra Little Mo?

Mo wearing He Tian’s black turtle neck haha and He Tian wearing one of Mo’s orange shirts. Maybe they slept over. Maybe Mo is cold and He Tian made him wear his turtle neck. He Tian would have a nosebleed.

Okay here are 10 things which I think can be made into a drawing! If anyone has more suggestions for Anon, please leave it for them in the comments 🥺

Edited some more in the comments, Anon!

#Anonymous #Asks

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3lji · 3 years

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hey honey! ♥️ and yes you know it!!! has this week been crazy for everyone? i honestly feel like i haven’t stopped all week. wishing everyone a restful weekend ☺️♥️

COSY TIANSHAN HEADCANONS!!!

- i think tian is a cosy boy as soon as he feels comfortable that mo likes him back. once they’re in an established relationship he is SO cosy. with mo, even after they’re together it might take him a little while to settle into things and allow himself to be vulnerable like that, but he cautiously begins to open up.

- i imagine them sleeping in on weekends OR even cuter - maybe it’s super rainy outside and ‘y’know what fuck it, babe, i’m callin’ in sick’ and mo is secretly delighted that he gets to spend a sleepy cosy day with tian. he’d reward him subtly by making his favourite foods and bringing him a coffee in bed.

- food has a lot to do with comfort between these two. there’s tian who loves to find special little foods for his darling, and seeing when he’s done good - that sweet little smile from mo. but mo is definitely king in this way - he shows how he loves through food. he makes tian’s favourites, he figures out NEW favourites. he’ll cook all day and act like it’s nothing but tian knows how much that shows he CARES.

- one tiny little headcanon i love is mo tenderly feeding tian. maybe a spoonful now and then - try the soup, do you want a bite of this? but also sometimes when they’re cuddling and mo has some segments of orange, you know he’s gently placing little pieces into tian’s mouth and blushing when tian presses his lips briefly to his fingers.

- tian is the cosiest person to sleep next to, just a big warm mountain that loves to cuddle (tbh) and WON’T LET GO DAMMIT. but this also extends to cuddling - mo can just sit next to tian and without meaning to it turns into cuddling. tian can’t ever keep his hands to himself but this turns into his arms and hands and feet and lips and he’s suddenly an octopus that has attached itself to guan shan in every possible way. mo finds it very comforting haha - he’d hate to admit it but sleeping any other way feels like the loneliest thing in the world. if he grabs a coffee with a friend, sitting by himself on the bench feels COLD and BEREFT because that damn HE TIAN has made him get used to being snuggled always.

- sharing clothes is ALWAYS cosy. for mo guan shan that means stealing big jumpers and sweaters that smell musky, whether it’s because of how cosy it feels or because he wants to be reminded of he tian. although i think those two things are connected. for tian he usually likes stealing mo’s scarves or little things that reminds him of guan shan in the day. his gloves and sometimes his socks (which DEEPLY annoys him). unfortunately for tian he doesn’t comfortably fit in a great deal of mo’s clothes. but god knows that doesn’t stop him trying (i can just imagine mo fuming because he’s found a sweater of his with holes at the seam and he KNOWS tian has been wearing it even if he pretends he hasn’t).

- i have a (one of many) unfinished fic where tian and mo suddenly realise how CLINGY they are (how did they not realise sooner lmao). they’re so comfortable and cosy together they really don’t realise how much they touch. in the train their fingers mesh together, hidden in the folds of their jackets. as they climb the escalator, tian links their pinky fingers because he can’t quite live without even the smallest reassurance mo is there.

- i imagine when tian is cold he just goes to bother mo, putting his hands under mo’s shirt and cuddling up against his back - whether he’s sleeping, cooking, watching tv whatever lol. when mo is cold he’ll refuse to go and look for tian to warm him up and just ends up shivering with several pairs of socks on and three jumpers. when tian finds him like that he knows it’s time to warm his lover up.

- don’t you think endearments are cosy? for tian it’s extensive - baby, darling, shanshan. but for mo it’s a little trickier. it’s YEARS until he manages tian tian - which gives him a heart attack. but i also think he’d really wish to speak sweetly to tian like that (which names do you think would work best??) but he doesn’t know how to start! in its place mo will instead always talk very proudly of tian - my partner, my fiancé, my husband etc whenever he’s mentioned and hope this is enough.

- idk if these are still cosy headcanons lmao but i just think they’re so close to one another (again, without realising lol) that every little thing they do speaks of the trust and love between them. mo guan shan reaching across tian so he can put a little salt on a dish for him (because mo knows how he likes it best) or to offer him a bite of his food because he thinks he’ll like it. just these little actions speak of so much love. for tian i think it’s so cosy and sweet that he’d worry over mo - worry he doesn’t have an umbrella or a coat and go out of his way to make sure he’s warm and dry and safe. they show their love a little differently but it always speaks to how much they care for one another ♥️

#tianshan #19 days #he tian #mo guan shan #LONG POST #SRY #headcanons #i’m rly excited for the new chapter what about you all?#i hope it makes me cry!#ty for sending questions i have another i need to answer too! xox

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motianz · 4 years

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I know last update was kinda of a bummer, so heres a nice compilation of He Tian and Mo Guan Shan in the extra art

I’ll start off strong with one that I had forgotten about

I am unnable to explain how much this one makes me go batshit insane

like yeah, its the handcuffs....... and the bottle........ and the pose

keeping up with the spicy, heres another one that makes me lose it

(the named collar going to a He Tian plushie? 10/10)

He Tian shirt AND button

Sometimes OX draws his hair in a way that just... wow

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

He looks SO prettyyyyyy, this shading is amazing

S- sir.... im r-respectfully looking.....

It’s the showing himself off in He tians shirt for me

Honestly no wonder he hates his brother, as far as he knows this dog that he loved this much got murdered and buried by He cheng

I’m bringing in the wholesome ones now

No i’m kidding, heres another spicy one

this one that makes me just super curious about the context

He brotherrrrss

He brotherrrrrrrrrrssssssssss

Hope you guys enjoyed it :), and got to remember how great the boys are

#19 days #19 days official art #he tian #mo guan shan #old xian #he brothers #tianshan #a little bit at least #wanted to go through their art before next chapter #because im super nervous about it #it'll be either a disater or a blessing #so here lets enjoy our time before it comes

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

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Hi! Love your takes on 19 days especially tianshan!! They are very insightful and a fun read! Idk if you already wrote about this, but I was wondering what your take would be if he tian came to save Mo instead of She li. I wonder how their dynamic would be in the present. Would they be more like zhanyi?

Hello, dear anon!

Waah, thank you for such praises! I’m glad you have enjoyed reading my mullings!

As a heads-up, this turned much longer than I anticipated, so better find a comfortable seat.

“what your take would be if he tian came to save Mo instead of She li”

I haven’t actually thought about this before, so thank you for this interesting avenue that had never even crossed my mind. The more I thought about this, the more question popped up. I feel like this would be a pretty significant change, especially for MGS’s character. To try and keep this scenario somewhat in control, I scrolled through the comic with your question in mind and let my nose sniff out where the “new” story would take me. So, this might not be exactly a “realistic” take on it but more like where the story and characters would go in my head if things had been different.

The question of timeline

First, I feel like we need to figure out the correct timeline for all this, so it’s easier to gauge HT and MGS’s characters more accurately. According to my calculations, SL saved MGS sometime during their first year of middle school (ch. 282, 319):

In the current canon storyline, they are in their last year (3rd year) of middle school, so two years off that would put the piercing incident somewhere on their first year. (Look at my mad math skills.) I’m assuming the first school year had already begun since SL had transferred and already gained some reputation at school. Other than rumors, he hadn't crossed MGS’s path.

So, let’s figure out 1st year MGS and HT. With MGS, we have seen glimpses of what kind of character he was (ch. 319, 283):

He had many of the characteristics that are familiar to us in the current timeline, too. He was caring and compassionate. His first instinct was to help, and he dint want to see people hurt. I believe he still has those qualities these days, but he’s learned to hide and suppress those instincts the hard way. I feel like compared to the current MGS, the 1st-year MGS was more pure, innocent, and trusting in many ways. He seemed to believe in a world where doing good to others surely was the way to go.

1st-year HT, on the other hand, is pretty much a mystery to us. Apart from some flashbacks from his childhood prior to middle school, we haven't seen more of his past. Even his first introduction in the comic was a bit awkward the way he just suddenly popped up and it wasn’t really clear what his relationship with JY and ZZX was exactly.

What was the mindset of 1st-year HT? Had he already made up his mind that he wouldn't become like his brother and father? Was he already living alone or still with his family? Was Mr. He already abroad or still in China?

I think HT’s living situation is probably what would give us the most hints about whatever mindset he might have. But the only thing we really have to go on is when MGS came to visit him for the first time (ch. 144):

Again, this doesn't give us much. It’s impossible to say for sure if HT was already living by himself as a 1st-year student, but somehow I doubt that. Despite everything, 12-13 is still mighty young to be living by himself. And I have a feeling based on the way HC and Mr. He seem to put importance on family sticking together, they probably didn't let HT go live alone without a long fight and debate. So, I think it’s very likely HT was still living at home as a 1st-year. Most probably at his brother’s place that seems like their primary home before Mr. He went abroad?

Based on that, I think HT might have not made up his mind on becoming a savior/hero of sorts yet. At least not in so many words. Home was probably an unpleasant and stressful place for him, and he would rather spend time elsewhere. When at home, he probably spent a lot of time in his room or roaming the nature surrounding them. Home was somewhere where he had to keep his guard up and be constantly prepared for whatever. He was exposed to and (in)directly involved in things that he disapproved of and most probably scared him. At school, he excelled in all the subjects. In some ways, studying was an out for him even though getting good grades was also expected of him. He was always surrounded by a lot of people at school and was very popular, but no one really knew him outside of school. He didn’t open up about himself.

So, that’s how I see the characters set up for the new scenario.

Mo Guan Shan in distress

Now, finally to the beginning of it all. To help us all get in the right mood, I hope you will excuse my very serious 3AM edits (ch. 319):

A crazy homeless man was attacking an innocent, pure MGS. His young life was flashing before his eyes. The man on top of him is too heavy. The grip around his throat too strong. It’s getting harder and harder to breathe, and black spots are dancing at the edge of his vision.

Just as MGS is about to pass out, something flashes at the corner of his eyes but it’s hard to tell in the dimness of the alleyway. There is a loud, heavy thud, and the grip around MGS’s throat slacks. The man is being flung off him and slumps on the wet pavement. MGS scrambles to his knees, coughing and gasping for breath. The cool rainy air tastes sweet rushing down his burning throat.

A bit out of it, he glances up and sees a dark-haired boy - about his age - who’s holding a heavy liquor bottle. The sharp edges of the bottle’s bottom are smeared with crimson. The sight of blood dripping to the ground makes MGS’s stomach turn a little. He makes the mistake of looking at the limp homeless man lying in a puddle and almost throws up at the spreading blotch of dark red on the back of the man’s head. He starts to tremble when he realizes how close to being killed he had just come.

I would picture that HT is shaken by what he had done, too. Picking up the bottle had been like an instinct to him. He had swung it as hard as he could, not really thinking the consequences. Now, though, a small panic monster in his head whispers that he had probably killed someone.

But the panic monster doesn't get very far in its fear-mongering until HT’s training kicks in. Still squeezing the neck of the heavy bottle, he creeps to the crazy man, ready to bounce if he decides to go for a second round. Even in the heavy rain, he can smell the thick odor of homelessness and alcoholism. He doesn't really want to touch the man but reaches to check for a pulse. It’s there, but otherwise the man is out cold.

Only then he really pays attention to the scrawny red-haired boy still on his knees. He looks at HT wide-eyed, shaking, and obviously in shock. There are red prints already forming around his throat where the man had strangled him.

“Is - ,” the redhead says shakily, his voice a bit hoarse, “is he de - did he - “

“He’s still breathing.”

“Am-ambulance,” the boy says, now more anxiously and looking around, “we need an ambulance. Police! Someone!”

HT doesn't reply but flips out his phone. The boy keeps glancing at him as he gets a hold of HC on the other end and explains the situation. He frowns when it doesn't sound like a 911 call to him.

“Who was that?”

“My brother. He knows what to do.”

Well, HT knew what to do, too, but he wasn’t in the position to make those things happen. Not yet, at least. But he knew.

HT asks where MGS lives and offers to walk him the rest of the way. MGS seems confused about should they just leave the man and not wait for his brother. HT assures him that his brother will come any minute now. It’s all under control. The words kind of come out of his mouth without him even realizing what he’s saying. He would like to think it’s the shock but knows it’s his training. It’s the protocol. When you follow certain steps, there is no need to panic.

And yet his hands are trembling when he finally puts the bottle down. Oh, well. He would fake till he made it.

On their way to MGS’s home, MGS is quiet and just clutches his backpack against his front. HT tilts the umbrella to cover MGS more, seeing how he is shaking from cold and shock.

HT tries to make idle conversation. He asks MGS’s name, where he goes to school, what was he doing out in the rain, is there anyone at home, and maybe mentions that he’s seen MGS around the school. Little by little the atmosphere starts to loosen and the tightness in MGS’s voice eases up. Talking also relaxes HT.

At MGS’s house, MGS looks at HT and asks if he wants to come inside to dry up. He’s frowning a little and seems worried. HT looks at him a bit dumbfounded and then bursts out a laugh.

“You really are quite something,” he says at MGS’s confused face. “You just survived all that and you’re already inviting a stranger to your home. Are you an idiot?”

MGS’s face darkens, and he says that if HT would rather walk back in soaked clothes, then it’s his business. He looks hurt and embarrassed. The attitude makes HT smile a little, though, and he tousles the wet red hair.

“I’ll see you around,” he says and leaves with a little wave over his shoulder.

He makes a mental note to keep an eye out for a certain red hair at school from now on.

Having a friend in each other

They start running into each other at school more. (Well, HT started rotating towards MGS.) Turns out MGS has seen him around school, too. He says that HT seems popular and the girls often talk about him in class. He seems a bit confused as to why HT is seeking out his company when he has so many other friends.

MGS is a bit awkward around him, but HT finds it endearing. He’s quick to rise to teasing baits and shows his emotions quite a lot if you knew where to look. To HT, he seemed like a pure-hearted kid. Probably too pure-hearted for his own good. He was a bit stiff at first, but with some coaxing, you could get him to talk. HT liked listening to him talk the most.

The more they got to know each other, the more HT found himself hanging onto MGS’s company. When school days ended, he lingered at the crossroads where their paths parted. He made up excuses to walk MGS home or to his part-time jobs. (He thought MGS was amazing for working already, but MGS just shrugged.) Finally, walking MGS home continued to get himself invited inside for homework, snacks, some games, dinner, staying the night on Fridays.

HT soaked in all the sense of home he could get at MGS’s place. The messy pile of shoes in the entryway. The scribbled notes on the fridge door. The home-cooking. The older models of video games MGS had. The smell of cheap detergent on the sheets when he was sleeping on the floor of MGS’s small room.

Mrs. Mo was a bit surprised by his son’s unexpected friend at first but quickly adopted HT as a natural part of the household. She was more at peace knowing that MGS had some company after school when she had to work late. Sometimes she listened to the boys talk (read: HT teasing and MGS bickering) in MGS’s room. It felt like this new friend had bought some of MGS’s lost childhood back to her son’s voice.

The tighter they became, the more they naturally learned about each other. The topic of family was sore for both of them and something they didn't talk about often. MGS often got heated when the talk circulated to his father. Heated in a way that HT didn't find cute. He got angry and bitter. Usually, HT let him vent through it quietly. But MGS didn't hide things as such even though he didn't really like to talk about some of them. Instead, he was convinced and would stand his ground vehemently.

HT, on the other hand, was more evasive. He didn't want to put MGS in a position where he would know too much. MGS seemed impressed by HT’s brother. He sounded a bit jealous. HT also avoided saying much because he was ashamed. Here he was sitting in this home of good, decent people and enjoying their hospitality while he really was part of the bad guys in the world. His people were the ones who MGS hated so much when he talked about his father’s imprisonment.

But then something happened within HT’s world. Something that shocked him and scared him and gave him a traumatic experience. One day at school, he was visibly on edge and distracted. He looked increasingly tired. He snapped at MGS which he very rarely did. When at the end of the day, MGS asked if he wanted to come over (it was Friday), he was a bit relieved but also worried when HT said no. HT never said no to that.

That night Mrs. Mo had the late-night shift, so MGS was alone when HT suddenly showed up with a duffel bag. He looked horrible. There was an angry red mark on his cheek and a trickle/smear of dried up blood on the corner of his mouth. His eyes were red-rimmed. He hung his head low, asking MGS if he could stay the night after all.

MGS told him to take a bath. He heated up the leftover rice-noodle soup he had had for dinner. HT looked a bit lost coming out of the bath. MGS told him to take a seat and served the food. Quietly and slowly, being careful of his cut lip, HT slurped the soup. He wouldn’t meet MGS’s eyes.

MGS wanted to ask what the hell was going on but decided against it every time the questions danced on his tongue. He was curious but he had never seen HT like this. He looked darker. At some points of the night, MGS felt like he couldn't really recognize him at all.

MGS made HT a bed on the floor the usual way. HT just turned his back to him and hummed in return when MGS said good night. After a while, MGS drifted off but woke up to strange noises. It sounded like heavy breathing. Not panting exactly but more like...gasping for breath. He snapped the lights on and found HT sitting on his makeshift bed. His eyes were wide, and it looked like he was breathing hard but couldn't breathe at the same time.

Luckily MGS had been around enough hyperventilation to know what it looked like. He hurried to find a paper bag from the kitchen, cursing that the damn things were everywhere but seemed to vanish when you really needed them. He helped HT press the opening of the bag tightly against his gaping mouth. At first, it looked like HT got more panicked, but MGS kept pressing the bag firmly.

Little by little, HT’s breathing calmed down and the wild look in his eyes faded. Finally, he pushed MGS’s hands away and tried to go for a grin and joke how this was pretty lame of him but he couldn't quite work his charm. A bit lost, MGS wondered what to do. Then he asked if HT wanted to read some comics till they got sleepy again. HT didn't want to read but asked if MGS would read. And keep the lights on. And like that - while MGS was glancing at panels of high-school-level humor - HT told him about having a fight with his father, talking back to him, knowing when he had pushed over the limit, and the next thing his head had been ringing.

MGS didn't know which freaked him out more: the story, the flatness of HT’s voice, or when his voice started to get thick and he pressed his face tight against the pillow. MGS hesitated if he should comfort HT somehow but it all felt too awkward. So, he just listened and hummed whenever there was s suitable pause. Eventually, HT fell silent and after a while, MGS noticed he had fallen asleep. He fixed the blanket over HT’s shoulders, climbed to his own bed, and left the lights on.

HT stayed the weekend, but they didn't really talk about that night afterwards. The next morning, HT seemed more to himself, smirking and teasing, gobbling the breakfast MGS made them. Mrs. Mo looked at HT a bit funny when she came home from her shift but didn't say anything. She just gave the boys a free night from doing the dishes.

Overall, they got to know each other better than anyone else at school. HT knew about MGS’s excitable, softer, and adorable side. He was a good kid who worked hard and around whom HT felt at ease, though silently guilty. MGS knew the HT that wasn’t the kind of charmer everyone at school saw him as. Despite being so popular, he seemed strangely lonely to MGS. He guessed HT had some kind of darker side that he didn't want to talk about and tried to hide. MGS doubted anyone had seen HT like that other night. It seemed his family was mixed up in some shady business, and MGS didn't quite know how to feel about that.

The angst of unrequited love?

You mentioned if this version of Tianshan would be closer to Zhanyi, and I think that could be possible. I doubt they would be that kind of softer, lovey-dovey dynamic, but my nose kind of sniffed a possibility for a similar unrequited love as JY had.

HT could start gaining romantic feelings for MGS somewhere along the way. But in my head, he would hide his feelings much the same way he does/did in the canon version, just take it to a more obvious level. Mask his feelings with jokes and double meanings. Make him kind of push but then pull back as if unsure.

His feelings for MGS would be laced with believing he doesn’t deserve to be loved by someone like MGS. He’s one of the bad guys. MGS is one of the good ones, and his family has been hurt by people like HT enough. And yet HT craves for what he has with MGS and nurses his unrequited love. It gives him both pain and comfort.

But he didn't want to confess. For one, he wasn’t sure where MGS stood on things like love. He seemed awkward around girls and often ended up scaring them off by his glare and harsh tone. The topic of romance hadn't really come up, or if it had, MGS usually remained silent. One time HT had decided to roll the dice and brought up jerking off. MGS had gone beet-red and stammered that what the hell was HT talking about. For a moment, HT had toyed with the idea of pushing for more but decided against it and brushed the topic off as a joke. MGS had looked damn cute, though.

Secondly, and more importantly, HT didn't think he was worthy of MGS the way he was now. He needed to do better, he wanted to do better. He needed to make decisions instead of slinking around like a kicked puppy. He needed a vision for himself and then pursue it. So, he decided to become someone better for MGS. Someone strong and good and reliable. His own man. The first step was him making HC talk their father into letting HT live by himself. The school was a good enough excuse.

At the same time, they grew a bit apart. MGS got older and took on more part-time jobs. HT concentrated on working on himself. He lost sight of MGS for a while, and it turned out things had gone worse for him. As HT was busy becoming a better man, MGS had grown more bitter and angry. It wasn’t until HT learned that MGS had agreed to get expelled from school that he woke up to what direction MGS had drifted to. On HT’s watch, too.

They had a big argument about the deal. They had often bickered in the past but never really had a serious fight. HT was angry MGS was knowingly mixing up with people SL even though they were obviously taking advantage of him and basically making him write them a blank check. MGS fired back that how could HT understand anything since HT was people like SL. That cut deep for HT, and it was the first time he wanted to slap MGS. Instead, they got their separate ways, brooding and glaring.

The next time HT saw MGS’s face, he knew something had gone horribly wrong. He heard that MGS was accused of assaulting some girl. Furious, he went to confront MGS about how stupid he had been, but all the anger died when he saw how shaken MGS was. He looked completely lost and horrified. All he seemed able to worry about was “they are going to tell my mother”. HT hugged him tight and said that everything was going to be fine. He will sort this out, don’t worry.

He fought with SL and got HC involved, too. HC took care of the deal, but HT never told MGS how exactly it had happened. In the same way he had never told him that the homeless man had been dead by the time HC’s crew had gotten to the alleyway. Instead, HT shoved the guilt deeper where it fueled his drive to become a better man.

But HT decided one thing after that fiasco. He wouldn’t let MGS drift away anymore. He wouldn’t get so wrapped up in his own vision that he lost sight of what mattered the most.

That is I guess where this AU version kind of leaves off and connects to the canon story? This version of Tianshan would have their friendship established first, and HT’s romantic feelings would come later. They would be more unrequited in a similar angsty way as JY’s. The trust between would have also been established through their growing friendship. I feel like there would be tons of things that could be added to this, especially ending-wise, but...yeah, something like this maybe?

Thank you for your wonderfully interesting question, dear anon! How do you vision their relationship would have developed?

#19 days #tianshan #he tian #mo guan shan #answered ask

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futuristicballoondream · 3 years

Text

New Chapter Thoughts 366 pt.1

Well I have about a million and one things to say so I may split this into a few posts. Firsts things first though, WOW some major feels going around here.

So I was curious as to why these guys went here rather than the shop they went last week:

Is it that the fruit shop just happens to be on the way to Momo’s house (would explain why he applied to work there)? Or were they specifically hoping to catch him and corner him at work? Can’t really run away from a conversation when you’re stuck like this:

So to my next point, why is Jian loudmouth, hot-mess, can’t-look-after-himself Yi attempting to give the calm and collected, super polite Xixi advice on how to behave lol? I guess he’s hoping they will show Mo Guan Shan a good old time and hope it reminds him that he does have friends, they do care about him,and they are worth having around.

And why god why is it that they seem to think a watermelon is the key to saving their happiness? The sharing? The hilarious randomness of it? Is it Momo’s fave? That’s a lot of pressure for one piece of fruit. Also bless Xixi just look at him holding this massive melon like it’s the only thing holding him together. I think sometimes people forget that because he’s reserved, he doesn't get just as affected by these sorts of life trials as people (cough Jian Yi cough He Tian) that have more difficulty controlling their outward emotions.

Is it just me, or does Ox seem to be showing Casa Mo in a more and more decrepit light?

This next part has so much going on - what does Mo’s mother do, why is she working so late, did Mo come home yet and see this, or is he still out wandering around and, on top of how crap he already feels about everything going down the pan in his life so far he now also has this to come home to? Or did he see this and run off again?

He Tian’s note is still in the doorway if it’s that easily reachable by Jian Yi, so I think we can safely assume that if Mo did pop home and leave, He Tian arrived after the fact (though personally I doubt he wanted to come home at all - he would want to stay out until he was in control enough to put a brave face on for his mum). And speaking of Mrs Mo, that a lot of stress to come home to - overdue bills are usually in sealed envelopes like normal post. Open arrears pinned to your door usually means one of two things: overdue rent, or bills so overdue the bailiffs have been called to stat repossessing goods -both leading to a potential loss of home (or items like screens and personalized guitars).

Reminds me of these scenes from the ‘big fight’:

I wonder if it is rent or if it’s related to the business with the restaurant? But if He Tian is downstairs smoking his lungs out, how did Jian Yi and Xixi not pass him on the way? Do He Tian and Mo have a secret meeting place downstairs haha I hope so. I’d love to hear any of your opinions on the above, or on other thoughts from the chapter. I will do a part 2. or the rest when I’ve eaten something - I had another thing I noticed about the manga when sifting through for these pics too. Well that was probably an unnecessary amount of pictures.

EDIT: In my excitement I forgot to credit @alexc1ting for all their amazing and punctual hard work

#old xian #19天 #19 days #he tian #mo guan #jian yi #zahn zeng xi

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nightfayre · 4 years

Note

Hello fay ! Its the anon abt how HT is not going to disappear from a.. long time ago lol. I loved reading your headcanon abt the potential futur of tianshan n i could totally see that even if its be so sad ! I have different ideas tho and would love to share it haha its going to be super long sry : my hc is contrary to jy, HT would be more free to stay in touch wth mgs bc HT is not an important heir from an official family but a heir from a bodyguard/righthand famly wth close ties wt the Yi / 1

wait a damn minute anon, you may be on to something! I never considered this as a possibility! now that I’m looking back on it, it was strange that He Tian approached Jian Yi out of nowhere at the beginning of the story. and quite honestly, He Tian was a bit... obsessed with him. he stuck to him like glue, almost like how he does for Guan Shan now. and at first I thought He Tian was meant to be a “love interest competitor” for zhanyi, but it’s quite obvious that Jian Yi wanted nothing to do with him lol. and then of course Guan Shan entered the picture and He Tian had his efforts allocated elsewhere.

so... I’m not exactly saying that He Tian was, like, planted into the same school as Jian Yi to spy on him or whatever because I find it hard to imagine He Tian willingly following an order like that. but still... what if?? like, what if the Jian and He families coordinated their sons attending the same school just for convenience, and then the two boys just happened to get caught up in the same friend group? or maybe He Cheng told He Tian to acquaint himself with Jian Yi for “business” purposes but didn’t really expect the two to actually hit it off? interesting theory!

there definitely is a connection between the He and Jian families, and we know this because He Cheng (or Qiu? both??) have mentioned on a few occasions that they are under the orders of Jian Yi’s father. but I don’t necessarily think that the He family is completely helpless to the Jian family? like, they aren’t just the Jian family’s bodyguards lol. they definitely have their own shit going on that He Tian wants no part of, we just don’t know exactly what that is yet. but it is still interesting to note the dynamics between the two families!

but I digress. there’s a part of me that’s still hesitant to think that He Tian will stay in touch with Guan Shan often after he leaves. as in, they’ll probably still talk, but I just don’t see them meeting in person and/or texting often. and I guess the biggest piece of evidence for this is the fact that He Tian texted Guan Shan from an unknown number when he went to visit his father. literally all He Tian was doing was visiting his father and he had to either borrow or buy a new phone just to text Guan Shan goodnight. and it was probably because his father lives in a secure/secluded location but I don’t know... there’s something that’s off about all of the security/surveillance He Tian himself is under as well.

but either way, I also don’t believe it’ll be radio silence between tianshan after He Tian leaves. and I think He Tian knows he’ll come back after he leaves, he just doesn’t know how long he’ll be gone and... it probably scares him a bit, truthfully. he’s finally found someone to confide in again and he’s being forced to leave them soon after. it probably leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. and I suppose it’s the pessimist in me, but I just don’t think there’ll be any face-to-face visits between tianshan during that time. I don’t necessarily have any evidence for this thought, though. sorry!

as for that last ask you sent, I completely agree LOL. Old Xian is one of the strangest authors I have encountered. sometimes they’ll bring up a small detail or plot point that I forgot about and it makes everything seem so seamless and put-together and complete -- but then there’s so many HUGE plot points that have yet to be addressed and we literally have no clue if they ever will. it’s like a gamble lol and I guess that’s alluring in its own way. I don’t expect this story to be finished any time soon though, so I guess we can’t be too harsh about the nature of the plot just yet. but you’re right: I feel like Guan Shan and Zhengxi would have more than a few questions after He TIan and Jian Yi leave. who knows if they’ll ever actually ask them though!

oof, what a long response! but this is honestly one of the best headcanons/theories I think I’ve received in a long time! really made me think :p so thank you for this! oh, and thank you for reading allergy season! I’m happy to hear you enjoyed it <33

#19 days #tianshan #19 days headcanons #this was EXTREMELY interesting tysm again!

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zhanyes · 4 years

Text

One Day

Zhan never knew liking someone was this...nice? That was one way to put it, but he still felt like it wasn’t enough to express the feeling of happiness he feels whenever he sees his bestfriend. Granted Jian yi has always been special for him, needing him to always be by his side, but not like this. Not not platonically.

He guessed this is what it feels like to have a crush (he wouldn’t go as far as to call it love yet). Of course he found other people attractive sometimes, but it never went beyond that. He feels as though all his thoughts are always about Jian yi, there's a need to always be closer to him and to fend off people trying to take away Jian yi’s attention from him. Knowing he feels the same way (maybe even deeper) just makes it all the more better.

He didn’t exactly know where they stand now, they never put a label to it, but they're at least aware of their feelings for each other. (Or Zhan thinks they do even though he never explicitly said it) They hold hands and kiss each other’s cheeks or forehead, look at each other far too long to be considered friendly, Jian yi being naturally clingy and Zhan being more accepting to it now, even going as far as to reach out sometimes.

Zhan was more than content with how things are going now, maybe even in the near (hopefully) future he could even ask Jian yi to be his officially.

What Zhan was not content with however was that Jian yi wasn’t with him right now. Well, he was, but not with him by his side, where he should be might he add.

They were at He Tian's because he decided to throw another party at his condo, as basically tradition now ever since they entered their last year of middle school, and invited everyone who wanted to dance and get wasted. Needless to say there were a lot of people.

Zhan never really grew out off his introverted side, although he does know how to be with people, he just prefers spending more time alone or with a few people he's comfortable with. Jian yi on the other hand was an enigma, more so than he was before. Being one of the most famous and most beautiful in their school, it was very easy for him to gather an audience and mingle.

He had always been unfairly beautiful, but now it reached new levels people couldn't help but fall for. He had grown out his pale blonde hair so it reached a little past his shoulder blades, and grew out his lanky figure into toned thighs and slim waist (and great ass), he looked straight out a model runway. That and he dressed like one as well, his fashion sense was impeccable. Everything he wore, from skirts, dresses, shorts, pants, sweaters, etc., fit him so well no one would complain. Not like they could anyway, Zhan didn’t get his knuckles bruised and scared everyone in their school (Even their seniors who thought it would be a good idea to pick on Jian yi’s skirt) just so his bestfriend couldn’t wear what he wanted to. Whatever he wants, Zhan will make sure he gets it.

God, he is so whipped.

But back to the topic at hand, his frown was currently getting deeper and deeper as he watched his baby talk with a group of boys, ever oblivious to the fact that they weren’t listening to whatever story he was telling and their lustful stares. He clenched his jaw as one of the boys, whatever that fuckace’s name is, gave another shot of probably a strong mix of alcohol to an already drunk Jian yi. Did they really think they’ll get away with that?

He stood up abruptly, and was about to storm over there and show exactly why that's not the right thing to do when He Tian grabbed his arm.

“Don’t cause a scene dumbass, you’re still in hot waters when you beat up She li and his gang. Jiyi won’t be happy.” He whispered and let him go, stalking off to bother his redhead. Zhan stopped for a few seconds and calmed himself down.

He Tian was right, Jian yi wasn’t happy when he pick fights with other people, which is mostly for Jian Yi himself. Not because he gave a single fuck about the people Zhan beats up, but because he didn’t like seeing Zhan hurt, even if the others are usually the ones ending up in a hospital.

Hearing shit li’s name brought up, renewed a different kind of anger in his body. He hated that freak and his freakshow gang. She li, like other stupid stupid boys, didn’t understand the concept of backing off. Jian yi wasn’t taken, yes, but he was definitely not available nor interested; and he made sure to tell them every single time. It's just that Shit li chooses to ignore that and pursue Jian every chance he gets. Zhan had enough of him making Jian yi uncomfortable.

So maybe Zhan doesn’t regret breaking his nose a little bit.

He sighed and focused on Jian yi, calming instantly as he put his arm around the blonde’s waist. He leaned and kissed his temple, glaring at the boys gawking at them. “Hey, baby.” He muttered loud enough for everyone else to hear.

Jian yi grinned as he looked at the other, eagerly kissing his cheek in return. “Xixiiii!!!” He exclaimed loudly, the other boys flinching from the shrill scream, and Zhengxi just smiling at him fondly, already used to the blonde’s loud mouth.

“Where have you been? I missed you, they’re all so boriiing.” He whined, motioning to the other boys with his alcohol occupied hand, accidentally spilling its contents on the floor and on some of the boys.

Zhan looked at the shocked boys smugly, before turning his attention back to Jian yi.

“I’m sure they were babe, how about we leave them and have our own fun, yeah?” He suggested, knowing the implications running inside the other boys’ minds. He smirked as Jian yi nodded quickly and held up his arms.

“Up you go then.” He said before putting him in a bridal carry. He cooed internally as Jian yi buried his face on his neck and mumbled a soft “sleepy.” He kissed the other’s forehead, before looking at the remaining boys, levelling them with a cold glare that made them shiver.

“If I see any of you near him again I’ll personally see to it that you won’t be able to attend another party, ever. Got it?” He asked. When he received no reply he growled out, “I said, got it?” The boys snapped out of it and nodded quickly, running away without looking back.

“Xixiiii~ so louuud.” The boy in his arms whined out, burying his face further into his neck.

“Sorry, baby.” He apologized quietly, walking towards He tian’s bedroom. It’s the safest place in the condo, and knowing He Tian (and by extension, Guanshan) wouldn’t mind if they stayed there at all.

The four of them had gotten incredibly close since second year and all of them already considered each other as family. Even Guan Shan, although it took him a lot to soften up.

He put the other on the bed gently and watched as he curled up and reached for him. “Xixi let’s sleep.” Jian yi muttered into a pillow.

“Just a sec.” Zhan replied as he took off the other’s jacket and his shorts, leaving him in his tanktop and boxers. He quickly took off his own clothes as well and joined him. Jian yi instantly closed the distance between them and tucked his head under Zhan’s chin while Zhan enclosed him in his arms and tangled their legs together, leaving a final kiss on the blonde's forehead.

“Goodnight, love. Sleep well.” He whispered.

“Goonight xishii, I love you.” Jian slurred, already half asleep.

“I like you too.” Zhan muttered. He waited for the other’s breathing to steady for a moment then closed his eyes to follow him into dreamland.

---------------------------------------------------

This is something I wrote a few months back because I had too much Zhanyi feels and not enough content. Fellow shippers cry with me

P.s. English isn't my first language so sorry if there's any mistakes

#19 days #19 days fanfiction #jian yi #zhang zheng xi #zhanyi #he tian #mo guanshan #mo guan shan #I wanna write them more #i also want to draw them more #Jealous Zhengxi is my religion so I have to write it

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agapaic · 4 years

Text

tianshan drabble. 💞 on behalf of an anonymous donation to the BLMUK organisation, this was created (with permission) for Eylül @eed752. if you would like to donate to an organisation supporting black lives in return for a drabble, please see here for more information. 🌸

tags: chef!guan shan, media exec! he tian, reality TV. tw: non-consensual kissing

///

‘I don’t need your fuckin’ help,’ Guan Shan says, teeth gritted. ‘I didn’t ask for it.’

On the other side of the resaurant’s foyer, Zhengxi lowers the camera. He’s familiar with Guan Shan’s belligerence, and he knows when to stop rolling without waiting for anyone’s call. He turns to He Tian, who’s already making his way over to Guan Shan while he rolls up the cuffs on his shirt sleeves. His smile is tight.

‘Do you want to say that off camera, hm?’ he says quietly, when he’s only a few feet away. There’s something sharp beneath his words that makes Guan Shan’s spine straighten. ‘Stop being a prima donna because you don’t want to follow my suggestions. You and I both know you couldn’t do this without the show.’

Guan Shan looks away. This. His father’s old restaurant had been an empty husk until he bought it, the inside like walking into a warzone. There was graffitti on the walls, smashed crockery covering the floor, burst pipes in the bathrooms and kitchen, some scene from an apocalypse movie.

The PAP had done nothing with it since they seized the property fifteen years ago; when it came to auction, Guan Shan bought it without thinking, emptying the savings he’d been stockpiling from his job as a waiter. He’d planned to give half to his mom and pay off her mortgage.

He doesn’t have the money to rennovate now, or to repair. He barely has the strength not to revisit the memory of the raid each time he walks through the restaurant doors, bile burning his throat, nausea rolling through him as if he’s at sea. Sometimes, it feels like it, the earth unsteady beneath his feet, his surroundings beginning to spin, a high-pitched ringing starting to keen in his ears—

‘Hey,’ He Tian says, brows drawn in. ‘Hey, did you hear me?’

Guan Shan mumbles something, and his expression must throw He Tian enough because he calls out for a break in the shooting. The crew lower their cameras and mic booms—Take five! someone shouts—and a caterers rolls out a trolley with cans of soft drinks and snacks.

Guan Shan doesn’t go to it; nor does he collapse into the fold-up chair that has his name printed across the back. Instead, He Tian grips him by the elbow and steers him, not ungently, out of the main restaurant and towards the kitchen.

It’s a building site still, most everything covered in sheets of plastic and a dusty layer of concrete residue. They’ll start filming this part of the show in a couple of weeks, and use a demo kitchen for now while they work on the recipes for the menu. It’s the nature of the show—Overhaul, it’s called, building someone’s business quite literally from the ground up.

You couldn’t do this without the show, He Tian had said. He’s right. Guan Shan couldn’t have afforded anything on the scale that He Tian is giving him. That’s the whole point of this fucking venture. The furniture, the esteemed clientelle, a Shanghai-based HR agency to find the staff. Some chef from SHIC will help him with the menu, and his contract promises the review of a Black Pearl critic who will visit a year after opening. The restaurant will be a success, by default of He Tian’s purview. He’ll allow nothing else to damage his name.

When the kitchen doors swing to a close behind them, He Tian releases Guan Shan and leans against an old counter with his arms folded. He’s frowning. In here, with the dust and the absence of windows, Guan Shan finds it difficult to breathe. He rubs at his chest, easing a pressure that refuses to dissipate. He’s trying to imagine himself running this place one day, cooking in here, where his father used to—and he fails.

‘You asked for my help,’ says He Tian, slowly. ‘You went to Jian Yi, who came to me. You signed the contract. You agreed to this.’

‘I know what I fuckin’ agreed to,’ Guan Shan mutters.

He Tian is unimpressed, and Guan Shan realises he hasn’t brought him away from the eyes of the crew because he pities him. He’s just making an attempt not to air any dirty laundry. He’s being professional.

He says, ‘Then you can stop with the chip on your shoulder and stop being a bitch to the rest of the crew. They’re not your enemy. Neither am I.’

‘I’m not—’

‘If you want sympathy, then play it up. Start crying. I don’t give a damn—the audience will love it.’ He Tian stares at him flatly. ‘Maybe at the end we can have a father-son reunion—’

‘Don’t you fuckin’ dare,’ Guan Shan growls. The thought sickens him. Already, he knows that his father might see this in the papers, or have access to the show on the prison’s communal TV’s. Guan Shan hasn’t told him. He hasn’t visited in over a year. By the time the show airs, He Tian’s name will be emblazoned in lights; it wasn’t written in the contract, but the restaurant will become He Tian’s has much as it has ever belonged to the Mos.

‘You’re in the entertainment business, Mo Guan Shan,’ He Tian reminds him coldly. ‘You should take what you can get and don’t stop.’

‘Is that what you’ve done?’ Guan Shan sneers.

‘Isn’t it obvious? Look at me.’

Guan Shan is looking. He’s spent two months looking, and he could spend even longer doing so, if only for the fact that he doesn’t want to. His preocuppation with the looks of a pretentious media executive worth millions is really fucking unfortunate. He hates himself for it.

Granted, sometimes things are good. Sometimes they joke with each other and have moments off-camera that make Guan Shan’s spine tingle. Sometimes he thinks He Tian’s hand touches him when it shouldn’t, and sometimes Guan Shan’s eyes linger longer when they shouldn’t, too. There have been no sordid, insidious rumours staining He Tian’s name as with other media execs in the industry, but that means nothing. He Tian has the money and charm to keep it quiet. Probably, He Tian plays this game with all his entreupeneurs. Probably, Guan Shan is being fucking stupid. He hates himself for that, too.

‘I don’t wanna be like you,’ Guan Shan tells him eventually. ‘You look at people like they’re ratings.’

‘Spare me,’ He Tian remarks dryly. ‘If you had enough of a moral backbone you wouldn’t be using me at all for this. You would’ve worked and worked until you had what it took to make this place work.’ He smiles, almost tenderly. ‘And even then it wouldn’t be enough.’

‘Fuck you.’

‘No, fuck you, Mo Guan Shan. You’re going to be whatever the camera makes tries to make you.’

‘You mean what you make—’

‘Shut up. Do you want to be the arrogant, angry chef with an overruling passion for food? The kid from a broken home with too-high dreams of running a business? Is this all some grand venture to repair your paternal relationship? Or maybe something else entirely. You have the opportunity of a life time. If I were you, I’d think about taking it.’

Guan Shan opens his mouth to argue, and He Tian swears—in frustration, in anger, in bemused disbelief that Guan Shan still won’t back down from the fight when he knows he’s lost. The outcome was pre-determined, and Guan Shan’s still wincing at new bruises and spitting blood onto the tarpaulin of the derelict kitchen.

He can only stare as He Tian marches forward, and he only thinks to take a step back when He Tian is a few feet from him— In front of him now— Grabbing his shoulders with two hands—

He Tian’s kissing him.

He Tian doesn’t wait for Guan Shan’s too-slow reaction. He takes what he wants, pillaging the intimacy, tongue forcing itself between Guan Shan’s lips—and lets him go. Immediately after, He Tian staggers back slightly, narrowly avoiding the fist that swings in his direction.

Guan Shan heaves. He doesn’t have the energy to try a second time. ‘You—’

‘There,’ He Tian says thickly. ‘File for harrassment. Put my name down in the mud and rebuild yourself from the ashes.’

‘You fuckin’... You...’ Words fail him. His head is reeling.

He Tian lifts his hand as if to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand, but his fingertips linger on his lips. His face is slightly flushed.

‘I’m giving you power over me.’

He says it like an apology.

‘I’d never win,’ Guan Shan chokes out. ‘Me against you in court? I’m nothin’.’

‘I’d agree with your story. If nothing else, I’ll pay out a settlement fee and you can do this whole thing yourself.’

Guan Shan shakes his head. His mouth feels bruised. The worst part is that he’d imagined this before. Different. Better. He’d wanted it. No, the worst part is that he wants it still.

‘Still dirty money,’ he whispers.

‘It doesn’t have to be,’ says He Tian. Guan Shan realises he sounds a little shocked—as if he hadn’t had control over his actions. As if he hadn’t expected its consequences. Guan Shan realises: He Tian hadn’t done this with the others. ‘Make your choice, Mo Guan Shan. You can quit, you can file a claim—or we can carry on and get this thing finished.’

‘Shit,’ Guan Shan breathes, dragging a shaking hand over his face. ‘How the fuck am I gonna just... carry on after you...’

He looks to He Tian, expecting some cool answer, something stemmed from exploitative experience, but He Tian only grimaces and says, ‘The same way I’ll have to.’

///

🌸 in the footsteps of @nightfayre’s wonderful initiative, i’m filling any drabble requests following a donation to causes in support of black lives. please read here if you would like more information! ✨

#tianshan #19 days #old xian #my fanfic #george floyd drabble

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ronadion · 4 years

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I never post anything here so hi I guess. That’s not the topic I wanna talk about. Ok: 19 days. Is Tianshan toxic or not? After looking at both side I can say yes but actually no!

As many people said they are teenagers. It’s pretty normal that they don’t know how to act when it comes to love. I think we all done some dumb shit too. Also their are still boys. I grown up with two brothers and know that little fights are pretty normal. Also I know it was over for me if I kicked in their balls 😂 Next point is Mo exactly know He Tian’s bad habit. I think he is not a fan but actually ok with it. He seems to hate it at the moment but not enough to quit the friendship. Sometimes I think it’s because he knows He Tian is actually a good guy.

I simply searched: „Toxic relationship”.

- Egoism, oppression and control addiction.

As I said Tianshan is toxic but actually not. He Tian is selfish but he knows that that’s not the right way into Mo Guan Shan’s heart. He also kinda suppressed Mo at the beginning but he knows that that’s not the right way into Mo Guan Shan’s heart. I can do it over and over but there is no need.

Here is my personal result: Mo is a strong and independent character and He Tian knows that. The relationship never gonna be toxic. Just a little drama sometimes.

#19 days #he tian #19days #mo guan shan

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midotakaism · 5 years

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the thoughts that mo and he tian will be together makes me so soft😳❤️ who would confess first and what would their real first kiss be like... im crying ..

LET’S CRY TOGETHER ANON BECAUSE GOD SAME

the thought of he tian waking up in the middle of the night not because of nightmares but because guan shan moved around in his sleep and scooted closer……… guan shan coming home exhausted from doing overtimes at work and he tian putting together something simple but edible for him to eat (guan shan definitely taught him how to cook something by himself so that he tian wouldn’t starve if he had to eat alone) and then carrying him to bed when guan shan ends up falling asleep on the couch………. just the two of them being domestic and sharing this kind of soft intimacy and feeling safe and happy in loving and knowing that they are loved in return………… EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND OR A THOUSAND AS I GO WEEP IN A CORNER

i probably fantasize way too much about how their first proper kiss will go and i have accumulated a lot of different scenarios through the years, from the simplest to the wildest and most unprobable ones, and knowing old xian none of them will be how it happens at all, but what all of them have in common – and what i really REALLY hope it will happen – is guan shan being the one to initiate the kiss this time around. I personally can’t really see he tian doing that after what happened the first time, i feel like he would be afraid to hurt and push guan shan away again, which is the last thing he ever wants to do. the only way i can see he tian initiate it for the second time is if he were 10000000000% sure guan shan absolutely wanted it too, but i can’t really see guan shan being vocal about this or actually confessing, mostly because i think he would be incredibly embarrassed by the subject and he’d rather take one small moment of courage and act on it rather than drag the moment and talk about feelings. it would also mean much more for their relationship if guan shan were the one to start it this time around, so yeah, i want to believe this is what’s going to happen no matter HOW they will get there or what will cause it, tho i can definitely see he tian asking or going in for more after they separate because now that he knows he can do it nothing will stop him

(sometimes i do try to imagine how he tian will react to guan shan kissing him and i honestly short circuit every time because like.. he hugged and bit guan shan’s neck just because guan shan asked him to buy him a pair of earrings I DON’T KNOW WHAT HE WILL DO IF GUAN SHAN KISSES HIM)

as for the confession, i don’t know if we’ll ever get one like the zhanyi one, as i said i can’t really see guan shan doing it, and just like for the kiss matter, i don’t think he tian would confess unpropted always for fear of ending up pushing guan shan away. at the same time tho, if guan shan asked him or maybe mentioned someone saying he tian is in love with him, i do believe he tian would be honest and not beat around the bush, i think he’d just look guan shan in the eyes and be pretty direct about it with a simple ‘yes, i do (like you)’. i actually would love a parallel with their first kiss where, after admitting his feelings, he tian asks him again ‘do i disgust you?’ BUT THIS TIME guan shan just turns around and keeps walking while saying something like ‘let’s go, we’re gonna be late’ and both us and he tian can see the tip of his ears are bright red and you know, it’s not really an answer to anything, but it’s also a permission to he tian to keep feeling like that and keep stay around him which is probably more than he tian ever hoped for

AND I ENDED UP BLABBERING SO MUCH AGAIN IM SORRY YOU DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS but if you – or anyone – wanna share thoughts on this you know what to do!!

#tianshan #19 days #he tian #mo guan shan #im so sorry guys someone mentions tianshan and something just possess me and i cannot shut up #im honestly just wondering how did i manage to not write anything about them for two years #anyway sorry again for how long this is anon but thank you so much for the message!!#as you can see im always ready to cry about tianshan together if you want!!#hope you're going to have a wonderful day!!#ask #anon #19 days thoughts

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captain-aki-chan · 4 years

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Two of my favorite things in the world: Harry Potter & 19days. Today I just read Blooperbloop’s Lady Luck fanfic. A 19 days fic in HP AU (very nice fic, you can read it on Ao3!). It got me thinking about sorting. In the fic, Zhan Zheng Xi and Mo are both Gryffindors while Jian Yi and He Tian are Slytherins. One of my hobbies is to sort people (real or fiction) in their Hogwarts house because why not? So I thought I’d give my two cents and would love to hear what y’all think about it. In the words of Jonathan Carlin, let’s have strong opinions about weak subjects.

Let’s start with Mo Guan Shan.

Let’s face it, he is definitely not a Ravenclaw. As for Slytherin, one could argue that he is prideful, determined, and resourceful. He sure is, but he lacks this cunning nature where you can manipulate to win. He has repeatedly shown that loyalty is crucial to him (loyal to his dad who he hasn’t seen in ages, loyal to his friend when She Li was harassing the friend). But I would say without much hesitation that Little Mo is a Gryffindor. He has a strong moral compass, even more so demonstrated in the latest chapters with his backstory. And he is also unbelievably brave and straightforward. He does not backdown from saying his mind to He Tian and She Li even though he knows they are stronger than him. He has a certain disregard for the rules that comes with the Gryffindor’s boldness. Point is, to me, there wasn’t much of a debate for Mo as a Gryffindor.

He Tian.

That sly handsome son of a gun. Definitely not a Ravenclaw (easy As, but he is not interested or curious in learning). He is completely loyal to his friends, but loyalty is not his primary feature or the characteristic he values the most (although he definitely values it). Even then, He Tian is not a strong Hufflepuff candidate. That leaves us with Slytherin and Gryffindor. I could see people going for Slytherin without hesitation, but I must say I actually thought about this one for a while. First, because He Tian is brave for sure. Second because a lot of his fights and his thirst for strength are driven by his will to protect those for whom he cares (first his dog and then his friends and primarily Mo). This drive to protect rather than achieve personal goals are usually Gryffindor traits. But yeah ultimately He Tian is a Slytherin because a lot of his protectionist instinct is for his self-satisfaction. I would not sort him as a Slytherin merely because of his “dark side” or his “sadistic streaks.” He has those, but you can find them in other houses (looking at you Gilderoy). He comes from what would probably be a pure-blood family. Most of all he is prideful, resourceful and will use his physical strength, his charms, his money... whatever is necessary to be satisfied. Sure, in the story now we could link his cunning nature with his dark side, but I don’t believe they have to be. On the contrary, I believe he uses these to protect (and also his entertainment, let’s face it, he is no angel). Snape showed that a Slytherin could be the most loyal character for his loved one.

Zhan Zheng Xi.

Now we’re talking. I don’t see him as a Slytherin at all. No discussion needed ^^ Some hesitated with Ravenclaw. I know he is the most studious of the group, but it really does not fit imo. Being interested in your studies and pursuing good grades is not what makes you a Ravenclaw, but the constant thirst for knowledge and curiosity, which he does not seem to have. It leaves us with Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. He is very brave and driven (stepped in Jian Yi’s fight with Mo, ready to be taken by He Cheng to protect Jian Yi, ready for anything to protect Jian Yi). But to me, that is exactly why he is a Hufflepuff. All of his strength is driven by his loyalty (and love) for Jian Yi. He seems to have a good moral compass but I could see it be twisted for Jian Yi if needed. He does not fight to win or to prove a point but to protect, and he does not want the recognition that goes with it. One could say that Harry fought to protect and did not like the fame that came with it. But really, he still had this longing for recognition as Captain of the Quidditch team or his bitterness when he was not selected as Prefect. Unfortunately, Hufflepuff is underrated by many (not by me!). It makes the most sense for Xi Xi. You can be a badass and be a Hufflepuff (Newt and Tonks). when he almost won the triwizard tournament, Cedric showed that he was brave, resourceful, and a masterful wizard. But those are not Xi Xi’s primary features or those he values the most. He is kind, respectful, and tolerant (his handling of Xiao Hui and Jian Yi’s overall journey to acceptance). I think he is defined by this and all the Hufflepuff characteristics are the ones he endorses. BUT, plot twist, I could also see him specifically request to be put in the same house as Jian Yi!

Finally, Jian Yi.

Clearly, none of our boys are Ravenclaw materials xD Jian Yi is also hard to figure out. In Lady Luck, he was sorted as a Slytherin and this is the sorting that I disagreed with the most and that led to this post. I do not see Jian Yi as a Slytherin at all. Arguments were that he also has this kind of “dark” side to him. And frankly, I can see it. We saw on several occasions a sharp side to his usual air-headedness. He is more observant than he lets on and longs to be stronger (the day of the fight with Mo, or more recently when he told Mo that he was closing himself with walls around his heart). Some sadistic tendencies as well (twisting Mo’s balls *gloups*). But other than that, he does not have the pride that goes with the Slytherin house. He would probably go and follow Xi Xi wherever he was sorted if Xi Xi was sorted first. His sharpness is not cunning or sly in any way. Sure, we have the Xiao Hui letter incident, but he should not be defined by this. I think this was one moment of despair and jealousy from a teenage boy that you could find in any houses. Zacharias Smith was quite the snarky little piece of trash and he was sorted in Hufflepuff. ╮(￣▽￣)╭ So, let’s talk about what defines Jian Yi as a person. He is extremely loyal as well. Devoted to ZZX to a fault and ready to help Mo after one-sidedly befriending him. However, I would not define Jian Yi by his kindness or tolerance or his modesty! He surely values those traits. Those are some of the reasons he loves ZZX so much. Even then, I would say he is a Gryffindor. He is daring and bold. Although he lacks the physical strength he is ready to just spring to the rescue as shown when he jumped in to intervene when Snake Li was convincing Mo to be the scape-goat. He also loves the fame and recognition: when he posed for the music club and probably one of the reasons behind the band idea. So Jian Yi as Gryffindor.

This post is way too long, so thank you if anyone read it! Sometimes you just got to write things down.

#19 days #jian yi #zhan xixi #mo guan shan #he tian #hogwarts #sorting #this got way out of hand

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mathgeek101 · 4 years

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Tag game!

I was tagged by @agapaic in one tag game, by @i-got-these-words in another tag game, and by @nightfayre in both of them combined into one! I will be doing the same~ Thanks y’all <3

Watch out, it’s a long post.

Did you go to college/university (if yes, what major)?

Yes! I just graduated in December 2019!!! I majored in music and play clarinet and piano :)

Do you believe in aliens?

I mean, not really? but if aliens show up I’m not gonna be surprised

Deserted island - 3 items you’ll bring (that’s not in a survival kit)?

not to stereotype myself as a religious maniac (because I’m not), but I’d bring my personal set of scriptures, hoodies (does that count as one item? If not, I pick my orange one), do friends count as items or is that too weird

When did you first start reading 19 days? Who is the character that you’d want to be real the most?

I’m pretty sure I started reading summer 2018. (Two years already???) The chapter that finally got me hooked was the tomato blood that got Mo Guan Shan rushing over to He Tian’s, and the “I don’t actually hate you that much!” line. I was curious what the heck was going on, so I looked in the previous chapter, and then after like two I went all the way back to the beginning, and here we are. Obsessed and in love. As far as who I’d want to be real.... probably Qiu? Like, I’d love to just see him on the street. Is that too shallow? He’s just such a cool dude. BUT the exact same reasoning applies for He Cheng... They’re just *clenches fist* y’know???

Where is your dream home?

Somewhere on the coast. Any rocky coast, though I’m picturing the Oregon Coast because I’ve been there a lot. Lots of big windows toward the coast side of the house so I could watch the ocean. Also near a forest area. There’s a fire pit near the house on the coast-side, not directly underneath the balcony on the second floor, but close. The room on the second floor with the balcony has all windows for walls and the ceiling - plants grow there and there are couches and a coffee table; no light fixtures, no outlets, just a room for enjoying the world. I know the question is where, not what, but I just got really into that.

Preferred way of getting around town?

Driving. Although I did enjoy taking the bus (before I got a car) when I got over the minor anxiety I get when I think about taking the bus.

Favorite…

- Type of animal?

llamas. Thanks to The Emperor’s New Groove.

- Holiday destination?

Oregon Coast. I’ve been there a lot, but I love it. Especially when I go with my family around my birthday (which is 90% of the time when we go).

- Way to spend a Friday/Saturday night?

Sitting at my desk trying to be creative (write, doodle, etc) or playing gigs. Making music with people you love is soooo rewarding and fun (also it’s nice to get paid to do that).

- Item of clothing?

HOODIES. Beanies in close second.

- Alcoholic drink?

None

- Mythical creature?

ooooo dragons probably?

- Superhero?

I don’t think I have a favorite superhero. Never really got into superhero comics or movies or tv shows. Though I did write a set of poems about Superman and Batman for my first poetry class. It was about Batman calling Superman because he was depressed, and Batman ultimately realizing that recovery starts small.

~~~~~

Are you named after anyone?

RHIAAAAAAAAAANNOONNNNNNNN, NOT the Fleetwood Mac song, but the Welsh Goddess the song is about.

When was the last time you cried?

Sometime in the last week, trying to go to sleep.

Do you have kids?

I am a kid (I’m 22)

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

yeah, I’d say so.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Hair. then smile.

What’s your eye color?

mostly brown, but slightly heterochromic? also a bit blue and green, in a concentric circles kind of shape, and I have “eye freckles” (brown dots in my irises).

Scary movie or happy endings?

Happy endings all the way. Give me the sappy love story.

Any special talents?

no?

Where were you born?

Boise, ID

What are your hobbies?

listening to music, doodling, writing (mostly poetry, but I do write little 19 days drabbles I’m too scared to post literally anywhere, and also have a half finished Voltron fic on ao3 I want to finish but probably won’t).

Do you have any pets?

My household has 7 chickens, but they’re not mine, and they’re not pets, they’re livestock, but I like to include them when people mention pets.

How tall are you?

5′8″ (~173 cm)

What sports do you play/have you played?

Basketball, and track and field in 6th grade. would have loved to continue with both but got caught up in music

Favorite subject(s) in school?

MATH (specifically Calculus!!), music - counterpoint & orchestration. Also loved my computer music class.

Dream job?

professional musician. I just wanna gig all the time. But also I WOULD LOVE to be a car mechanic. I’ve wanted to be a mechanic for as long as I can remember, and still do.

Fay’s right. Both of those in one go was a lot! ( a lot OF FUN )

THANK YOU Bethan and Fay and Zack for tagging me! They are each amazing, amazing, amazing, content creators (all fantastic writers, and Zack’s edits are to die for) and blog-post curators. Check them out and give them some love!

I’m not tagging anyone! But if you see this and want to do it, DO IT. If you feel awkward about not actually being tagged, but still want to, let me know and I’ll edit this post. I’m not joking. I’ll tag you if you ask. It’s not cheating.

#THANKS FOR TAGGING ME YOU LEGENDS #I LOVE YOU GUYS!!#aboutme #mine #long post #watch out #don't trip over this long post #I warned you and tagged it #if anyone's reading my tags please pity laugh #tag game

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