#I mean some of the songs were good but overall as an album it didn’t speak to me tagt much but the

[forustothinkistobealive]

That 2nd album literally saved my soul because I really didn’t like the 1st one

[mariabtsos]

Nuts - ||k.nj||

Description: how had Namjoon ended up in this situation? What do you mean he had to actually make a connection instead of fucking your brains out?

Genre: Oneshot, Non-idol AU, Rapper!Namjoon x Makeup Artist f!reader, strangers-to-lovers, Too Hot To Handle inspired, SMUT SMUT SMUT!! Hopeful ending. 

Warnings: Namjoon is a bit of a player and full of himself, just smut overall with a hopefully balanced plot, eventually he’ll get back in touch with his feelings, this might be the longest oneshot I've written? Oral sex f receiving, fingering f receiving, grinding, slight exhibitionism.

Word Count: 8.5k+

Namjoon thought himself a reasonable person, horny, but reasonable. He never needed to go to extremes to get what he wanted, whether it be an artist he liked to feature on a song, or fuck the sexy girl that kept bringing champagne over to his table at club. She was leaning against the wall of some small maintenance closet, her back was arched as he pounded into her relentlessly.

Once they finished, he could tell she would want more, doing a not so subtle attempt at slipping her phone number into Namjoon’s back pocket. He smirked and walked out after fixing himself up, knowing full well this would be the last time he’d see her, Namjoon never came back for seconds once he had them. It was nothing against the women he slept with, he didn’t used to be this way, but a few instances of heartbreak and a toxic cycle of make up sex can lead one to denounce love all together and give into pure carnal desire.

Such was Namjoon’s case.

When he arrived at his table he noticed his manager, Jin, and his two best friends, Hoseok and Yoongi, did not receive him with the usual knowing smiles, granted, this time he hadn’t waited long to ditch them for some pussy. Namjoon usually gave it about an hour or two into an outing before temporarily or permanently leaving his friends, but he supposed tonight he really needed a quick fix.

“Why do y’all look like you’re mad at me?” he asked, taking a seat and picking at the chips and salsa that had been placed at the center of their table.

The VIP section of the club was nice, it had a great mix of different low and high-grade celebrities, Namjoon liked to think he was making his way up from the low end of the spectrum, now that he’d been picked up a small label and his mixtape would go from SoundCloud to mainstream platforms.

“We’ve barely been here for half an hour, Namjoon-ah,” Jin complained, holding the bridge of his nose between his index finger and his thumb, Namjoon just continued to stare at him confused. “Well, it’s not my fault, every time she was serving us drinks her tits were right there, and I don’t know if you noticed but they were beautifully proportioned,” he smiled cheekily.

His friends didn’t reciprocate it.

“The label signed you up for a reality show,” Jin stated bluntly, Namjoon almost thought he heard a record scratch, “why?”

“They think it’s good exposure for you,” the older shrugged, “plus it’s like a retreat, you get to stay in a villa with other people and you play games through the summer to win a cash prize.”

“Will I get to keep the cash prize when I win?” he asked, Yoongi and Hoseok sharing a look of annoyance at their friend’s cockiness.

Namjoon had never really been the cocky type, but once his mixtapes and albums started getting hundreds of thousands of streams, and girls seemed to follow him like bees in search of honey, he’d seemed to have his feet a little too far off the ground, and it got worse once he was signed to the label.

“The label is considering it if you create enough buzz around yourself.”

“Well then, I guess I have my work cut out for me,” he smiled, dimples on full display.

You kept refreshing your email every minute, you needed this opportunity, you needed this. It had been your dream since becoming a makeup artist to open your own salon. You were tired of taking clients in the small living room of your studio apartment.

You had been looking for an investor for months when you finally found one that had been interested in your business. He had arranged an interview with you and had asked for a portfolio of your work, just to see what you offered would be worth what you were asking, everything in the interview suggested it was. You were told to wait about a week for them to get back to you, and now that it had been a couple days after the week mark you were starting to get nervous.

The notification sound of a new email made your heart start to race.

From: Hwang Jongdae

Subject: Investment on 2!3! Beauty Salon

Good morning, miss Yn,

After careful consideration of your proposal, we have unfortunately decided that we will not move forward…

You didn’t need to read the rest of the lengthy email, you slammed your laptop shut, immediately reaching for your phone to call your sister, tears inevitably escaped your eyes as soon as she picked up your call.

“Ynie what’s wrong?” She asked, her face showing immediate concern. You explained the situation to her through sobs and snot.

“I don’t know what to do!”

“You could come out with me and Danbi, we are going to the club tonight, maybe you’ll find some rich drunk guy that will invest in your salon.”

You were apprehensive at first, but in the end here you were, in the middle of a night club making somewhat conversation with some guy who’d long taken off his suit jacket and tie, you weren’t planning on anything, you just wanted to someone to converse with since your sister and her girlfriend had ditched you to go dancing.

It wasn’t your fault you had ended up outside making out. You were just sad and needed some cheering up, making out with a stranger sounded like a quick fix, and maybe you’d get a room somewhere and you could enjoy the brief happiness that came with having a one night stand

“Well, I think, your story could make for great reality TV,” his speech was slightly slurred as he pulled away, a sign that the glass he was somehow still holding was definitely not one of the first ones he’d had tonight, “I’m casting this…um…competition show, you get to spend the summer in a pretty villa with pretty people and play games, you can win a SHIT load of money,” he kept leaning toward you, you had to hold back the urge to puke as his breath reeked of alcohol.

You were interested as soon as he mentioned money, you didn’t care what kind of competition it was, you would do anything to make your dream into reality, even if it meant participating in some stupid TV show and dealing with dumb people.

Namjoon was a bit upset about giving up his phone the night before their first day of shooting, but this retreat was meant to be a place where he could disconnect entirely. Which wasn’t an entirely bad idea, the past few weeks was mainly a lot of paperwork and filming his intro for the show, apparently, he’d be the “first to arrive.”

He was happy to see champagne set up on a hightop table, he served himself a glass and waited, other guys started showing up, and then the girls started showing up as well, and to say he was pleasantly surprised was an understatement, all the women were beautiful and when you walked in? 

Namjoon quickly knew that you'd be his target.

He was immediately attracted to you, for a moment he really thought that whoever was up there, if there was anyone, must've put you right there, you were exactly the type he went for when he looked for a quick lay. You were wearing a full body bathing suit, given that the villa was at a beachfront, like shows like these often were. Your hair was down in what he assumed was its natural form, and your make up accentuated your face's features beautifully.

The rest of the girls immediately went to greet you, while the men just stared and spoke amongst themselves about who they liked, it was mostly varied answers. The six girls were the stereotypical body type you’d see in shows like these, although some were definitely on the curvier side, all from different places, the guys were pretty much the same, all well built and mouth-watering.

“Okay so to catch you up to speed…um” one of the girls spoke.

“Yn”

“Right, we have all been scanning the boys and let me tell you, it’s going to be a bloodbath,” she chuckled, as did all the others. She introduced herself as Andrea, and the other girls introduced themselves shortly after.

They walked you over to where the high-tops were, and you would be lying if you said you didn’t notice the way the beautiful dragon-eyed man was devouring you with his gaze, and regardless of your small cover-up skirt and your full body bathing suit, you felt very much naked and aroused. If his gaze alone could do that, what could he do to you?. You had no time to calm your racing heart as he approached, his tall frame towered over you.

“Hey,” his voice sounded like honey, “my name is Namjoon, what’s yours?” he wasn’t subtle at all with the way his eyes trailed up and down your body.

“Yn,” you held your hand out to him “nice to meet you Namjoon,” he took it, bringing your knuckles up to his lips to kiss, you quickly took your hand away.

“What, you don’t like chivalry?”

“You don’t seem like the type to do it genuinely,” you admitted.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to prove you wrong.”

Your neck was hurting badly, you didn’t realize how close he’d gotten to you, making his stature much more than what you had initially suspected. Namjoon enjoyed the vertical advantage, as it gave him a perfect view to your tits, so beautiful and round, he could feel himself slowly harden, he was ready to tell you to come with him to one of the rooms so you could act upon it, when the host of the show finally showed up.

“Hello guys!” he was a beautiful man as well, did this show only look for good looking people? The producer you’d met said you’d be with pretty people, but this was another level, what a major boost to your ego. “I’m Taehyung, welcome Games in Paradise!” Everyone cheered and clapped as the host gave a pretty boxy smile, “you’ll spend the rest of your summer here, where if you succeed with our challenges, you will win a fantastic prize! Your first challenge will be announced later on by the beach, please explore your home for the next two months and enjoy!” Cheers erupted from the small group again, and everyone dispersed after Taehyung walked away.

And explore you did, the villa was huge, it came fully equipped with everything one could only dream of having. The kitchen was fully stocked with a bunch of fancy appliances for your convenience, the bathrooms were gorgeous and came with both a standing shower and a bathtub, the sleeping area had six queen sized beds and nightstands were full of things to make all the sex everyone was planning on having more enjoyable, from condoms to toys, to lube; a few rooms were locked and you weren’t sure why, but no one really cared, considering everyone starting breaking off into duos and small groups to start enjoying their time there.

(T-4 hours)

Andrea, and yourself were enjoying sun-tanning on the lounge chairs right in front of the pool, your cover-ups long gone as your asses in full display as you laid on your stomach. You were reading a book you had picked out of the villa’s small bookcase, while your newly found friend had her eyes closed.

“So, you and Namjoon huh?” she spoke, you looked up to see her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose as she stared at you suggestively. “He’s hot as fuck, anyone here would stupid not to be turned on by his mere sight,” you shrugged.

“The way he was looking at you I thought he was going to fuck you right then and there!” she giggled. You sighed in response and went back to reading your book, mainly to distract yourself from the godly man you’d met, and the many things you wished he’d do to you, so your wetness wouldn’t ruin your favorite swimsuit.

Namjoon was watching you from far away, two of the guys he’d met on either side of him also watching the girls they so badly wanted. Namjoon would enjoy his time here, whether it was with you, or someone who offered to help with his urges sooner. “Okay,” he stood up from his spot, “y’all can enjoy staring and not touching, I’m going in,” he started walking off when he felt a smack in his ass, surely from Jimin, one of the guys he’d been seating with, and his newest friend.

As he walked down to the lounge chairs he noticed someone else taking your friend away, leaving you alone.

Perfect, no interruptions, he thought.

“Hello again,” greeted you once he was close enough to you, he sat down at the spot your friend was previously laying on, his eyes shamelessly enjoying the view of your ass.

“If we still had our phones I’d tell you to take a picture,” you quipped, Namjoon looked back to your face and found you had been staring at him, he flushed slightly at being caught, but got himself together fairly quickly.

“Can you blame me when you have such a wonderful ass?” he chuckled, his dimples in full display which only made him more attractive in your eyes. The silence wasn’t awkward, but it was definitely filled with tension, you took off your sunglasses, a small smirk on your face “I bet you’d love to fuck it wouldn’t you?”

Namjoon wasn’t expecting such a bold response. He choked on his own saliva and got into a coughing fit as he heard you cackle loudly. When it finally subsided, he noticed you’d left, leaving a water bottle at his feet and a note on the lounge chair you had been seated on not so long ago.

Meet me in the sleeping area ;)

(T- 30 minutes)

There truly was no way of explaining your current predicament. How had you ended up like this so quickly? It was truly all a blur.

All you knew was that you were straddling Namjoon, dry-humping his erection over his swimming trunks, and making out ferociously.

Namjoon felt his dick getting impossibly stiff as you rubbed your pussy against it, your moans swallowed by his lips as he put his tongue down your throat. He played with your tits, massaging one of the mounds with one hand and holding your ass with another. “Can I pull down the straps?” he groaned as you moved to kiss him behind his ear and down his sharp jawline; you managed to muster a pathetic ‘mmhmm’ and you felt your nipples brushing against his chest and then being pinched and rolled between Namjoon’s thumb and index finger.

“Your body is so gorgeous,” he complimented before putting the breast he was playing with in his mouth, making you arch your back and moan as he sucked and licked it to his heart’s content. When he released your breast from his mouth he slowly dragged his hand down to your core, expertly moving your swimsuit aside and using his thumb to rub your already sensitive bundle of nerves, “fuck!” you moaned, he then moved his hand so that his thumb continued to rub your clit as he inserted his finger inside of you, “so wet for me,” he added another, “so tight,” and another “can’t wait to fuck this slick, tight pussy until you can’t walk” his fingers curved deliciously against your walls and you could feel the coil of pleasure tightening inside you.

“Take off your pants,” you managed to plead.

“Hmm?”

“Take off your pants, please, I want to rid-”

“Hello,” a robotic voice interrupted your pleas, scaring you so badly you almost ended up falling off of Namjoons lap. He gently took his fingers out of you and fixed up your swimsuit just in case someone was about to walk in. “Who the fuck is there?!” Namjoon asked sternly, carefully moving you off his lap.

“My name is Lana,” that’s when you finally noticed the small cone on top of a decorative table. “I hope you are enjoying the retreat, please head down to the palapa, it should be next to the place you arrived at today.”

You and Namjoon stared at each other, having a mental conversation on whether you actually wanted to or not, ultimately going back to making out. Namjoon wanted you so badly, and the stupid Lana robot had definitely not made him any harder, but he was sure he’d be back to it once you guys got back in the mood.

“Hurry up, lovebirds.” Lana’s robotic timbre interrupted them yet again, making you fall backwards on the bed “ugh!” You complained, “Let’s go before she becomes more of a buzz kill.”

You sat next to Namjoon, his arm was around your shoulders. You saw Andrea sitting among some of the girls, one of them in particular, Jihee you thought was her name, was throwing daggers at you with her eyes. All you could do was give her a tight-lipped smile, looking away from her as the small cone that had scared you earlier slowly rose up on a platform in the middle of the table.

“Hello, contestants,” her multicolored light blinked as she spoke, “I have gathered information during this first day of the retreat.” Everyone looked at each other, in a very ‘what the fuck’ kind of way because up until she spoke, you had thought her to be a very fancy diffuser, “it has been most insightful.”

“What the fuck does she mean?” Andrea spoke up.

“The purpose of the retreat is to have you create deep, meaningful, emotional connections, instead of the meaningless flings you’ve all been having.”

“So… have platonic relationships with women?” Jimin looked confused, he didn’t have to wait long for an answer.

“To incentivize you not to do this, I have set the prize money to one-hundred thousand dollars.”

‘Oh my god’s’ were spread out through the group, as they all talked about what that amount of money could do for them, you opened up to Namjoon and Andrea who were the people sitting closest to you, “that money could definitely get me my salon!”

“You’re a hairdresser?” Andrea asked.

“Makeup artist, but I’m planning on having a full service salon,” you smiled sweetly, Namjoon found the sparkle in your eye somewhat endearing when you talked about your dream, but, he couldn’t let himself dwell on it for long, he wanted a good lay, not a deep connection, deep connections had only caused him pain.

“However,” Lana interrupted the group’s chatter, “there are conditions to your stay in order to win the prize,” you hoped the collective complaint wasn’t missed on the small cone, although you were sure it was, it was a robot after all.

“There will be no kissing.”

Your eyes widened, as did most of the groups. “Well, she only said kissing right?” Jihee said.

“No heavy petting.” 

“This is fucking stupid,” Daniel, one of the guys Namjoon had been hanging out with spoke.

“No sex of any kind, this includes self-gratification,” the chorus of what’s and no’s that broke out from the group were immediate, and you felt regretful, if you had cut to the chase sooner you could’ve gotten a really good dicking from Namjoon, and now you were all going to be blue balled.

Or were you?

(Day 2)

You woke up the next morning comfy, you and Namjoon decided you would share a bed, and his muscular arms held you tightly, and you felt protected in a way. You hadn’t been one for cuddling in a long time, not since your last relationship almost 4 years ago. It had ended quite tumultuously, especially due to its toxic and suffocating nature. It was mainly why you had one night stands, you didn’t have to cuddle if you didn’t want to, you could just leave right after.

You also didn’t miss Namjoon’s morning wood against your ass, no one was awake yet aside from you, so you decided to be a little risky and pretend like you were adjusting yourself, only to rub up on Namjoon’s dick some more. His grip tightened at your hips, you felt his breath against your ear as he groaned.

“You better stop that, or I’ll fuck you just like this,” he whispered, you could feel yourself getting slick at his words, how badly you wanted him follow through. “Don’t you want the money?” you whispered back, doing your best to hold your moans as he grinded against your ass, “Lana is a dumb fucking robot, how will she know?”

Fuck it.

That’s how you ended up with your shorts and underwear halfway down your legs, and with Namjoon’s fingers deep in your pussy, just like last night. You were biting your pillow and doing your best to hold back your moans. “You ready for me baby?”

Best you could do was reach back and touch him, you wanted to keep quiet just in case someone heard you. He slowly teased your entrance with the tip of his cock, you had yet to see it but when it breached you, you could tell he was thick, and as he slowly fed himself into your pussy, it was ten times harder to stay quiet. Yup. He was definitely big. 

He fucked you slowly, and he had to hold himself back as well, your pussy felt so good and it almost felt like you sucked him in deeper with every thrust, he wanted to rail you, to make you scream and moan so that everyone knew just how good he fuck you. “You’re taking my cock so well,” he praised you, causing you to clench harder on him, “if you keep doing that I’m going to cum,” you answered, “why don’t you hmm? Maybe I’ll pump full of my cum too, and make you keep it in so no one knows what we did,” he bit your earlobe and you almost moaned out loud. The coil in your stomach snapped, and your back arched from the pleasure the beautiful man behind you was giving you, it wasn’t long before he came as well, and just like he said, you were filled to the brim.

After your morning shower and getting yourself ready, you were out and about with the girls hanging out in the pool, it was a hot, sunny day, and you were having fun hanging out with the gals.

“Were you okay this morning, Yn? I thought I kept hearing moan?” Jihee asked, making the rest of the girls turn to you. You and Namjoon had agreed to not tell anyone about your little escapade this morning. “I was having a really bad nightmare, I’m sorry,” you smiled apologetically.

Jihee didn’t seem to believe you, meanwhile the other girls rushed to ensure you were okay, they kept asking what your nightmare was about, thankfully, before the show you’d have a really bad one, so you used that one for your story, they didn’t know it wasn’t recent. However, you didn’t miss the angry looks from Jihee, but you didn’t have much time to dwell on it, as the guys came over to the pool to get you, stating that Lana had called for you all to go to the palapa.

You sat next to Namjoon again, who placed his arm on the armrest behind you. You were staring off, not really setting your eyes on one thing until they landed on his thighs. They were so thick and muscular, you wondered what riding them felt like, perhaps that could be the next thing you and Namjoon sneaked off to do.

“Hello, contestants,” the small cone in the middle of the table spoke, everyone greeted it back. “It has come to my attention someone may have broken the rules,” everyone stared around, except for Namjoon, who was playing with the leftover fabric of the headband you were wearing.

“No one’s done anything Lana,” Jimin stated.

“My cameras picked up movement and audio last night, are you sure?” The girls stared at you so quick you were worried they would break their necks, “Yn? You said you had a bad nightmare last night didn’t you?” Jihee’s voice was laced with cattiness, and you felt a slight tug to your headband.

“My cameras picked Namjoon, speaking also.”

“Her nightmare sounded pretty bad, I was whispering in her ear to calm her down, nothing happened,” the way he lied so effortlessly made you feel weird, and you remembered why you’d been single for so long, you didn’t want to be in another situation where you were gaslighted and lied to.

You were grateful that you had kept your movement so slow and subtle.

“Just a warning, if you are found breaking the rules, depending on what you do, you will lose money.”

All hell broke loose then.

(Day 14)

You had managed to go this far without you or Namjoon making a single sexual move, and it was killing him not being able to plow you like he wanted to. It was good because you weren’t the first to lose the group money, Daniel and Jihee were surprisingly the firsts to do so, Jihee had given head to Daniel twice in one day, losing twelve thousand dollars. Later on, Andrea and Jimin kissed a few times, losing six thousand dollars.

Namjoon thought that building an emotional connection was dumb, he’d done that before, and each time it ended in a heartbreak worse than the last, his most recent relationship being what made him swear off on relationships. The girl he had dated was someone he’d loved, he’d do everything for her, every song was for her, any money made from his music went to both his and her bills, he almost dropped his best friends for her. 

And then he found out she’d been cheating on him all along.

It absolutely broke him, he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t good enough, he’d always been a gentleman, he would spoil her, love her, why wasn’t that enough? 

He didn’t care anymore, when he had an urge he would go to the clubs, or even after a gig he would pull a fan he found hot and he would fuck them until he was satisfied, leaving shortly after, or if he was craving something more intimate he would cuddle them after for a little while, no deep conversation, no sob stories shared, no number exchange. No strings attached. It was the only way not to get hurt.

You were so nice, such a good fuck. He almost wished you had met a few years before, then again would he have looked your way? He always seemed to be dating women who only wanted him for his money, women who never appreciated the little things. You did. He’d made you coffee this morning, using the keurig in the kitchen because he knew he would burn the villa down if he did it like some of the others were making it. He did it because you had become somewhat friends, sexual tension aside, your conversations were great, even if they were forced at first to distract you both from how badly you wanted the other, maybe he’d leave this with you as a good friend. All the girls cooed at the nice gesture, and Namjoon visibly cringed “it’s just fucking coffee it doesn’t mean anything.”

Oh, how those words hurt you.

You had unfortunately developed a crush for the rapper. He was so incredibly smart, he had such wisdom and insight, and his face card was crazy. You had felt horny the first few days, after your small rendezvous, but that subsided once you had more and more conversations, you really like his brain. However, how you felt didn’t matter, he didn’t want you like that, you were someone he fucked once and that he wants to fuck again, nothing more, nothing less. So, maybe it was a good thing that new players came into the scene.

Lana announced them, and it wasn’t long before you spotted them walking down the beach, two men. Both men were absolutely ripped, one of them had a full sleeve and piercings, making you salivate at the sight, the other didn’t have any tattoos, but he had a somewhat big nose and a beautiful smile. When they arrived they quickly introduced themselves as Christopher and Jungkook. The latter seemed to have immediately set an eye on you as he immediately started conversing with you and tried to get to know you better. You and the others had to explain the rules to the newcomers, they weren’t exactly thrilled, but they got over somewhat quickly.

“Ynie, do you want to go talk somewhere else alone?” the doe-eyed man asked, and how could you say no to that pretty smirk. Namjoon didn’t really like it as he saw you walk away with the younger man.

“You can’t talk to her the way you did this morning and expect her not to move on,” Andrea spoke, Jimin giggled next to her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t care,” he clarified, making your friend roll her eyes.

“Attention, contestants,” Lana’s voice broke through the various conversations, “there will be a special event happening near the garden tomorrow, please go there in the morning.”

“What’s in it for us anyway?” Chris spoke up.

“The person who shows the most progress and success will win a date with a person of their choosing,” now that changes things.

(Day 15)

Without words. That’s what the workshop was called.

Lana had paired all of you up, and you had ended up being paired with Jungkook, whilst Namjoon was paired with Jihee. Namjoon wasn’t one to be possessive of the people he fucked, but it wasn’t that he fucked you before, you were his friend, and Jungkook seemed like he was up to no good, what with the big deceitful doe eyes.

You were excited though, it was a fresh start for you, maybe Jungkook will be able to give you that deep emotional connection you were supposed to look for. You hadn’t wanted it at first, but your growing feelings for Namjoon along with all the workshops you had done so far helped you realize that. This one in particular had two stages, the first one was picking up on your partner’s body language. You had to go for a hug with Jungkook showing a specific emotion, and he would have to guess it later, that emotion was excitement.

Once Lana gave you the go, you ran toward the pretty man and hopped on him, wrapping your legs around him. He quickly caught you, wrapping one arm around you and using his other hand to hold one of your legs up, you both were so giggly, and everyone in the group could tell you were enjoying each other’s company. Namjoon was hugging Jihee but he wasn’t putting that much effort in it, he was watching you and Jungkook, and the stupid shit eating grin he had whilst you hugged. How badly he wanted to be the one you had your legs wrapped around, he was getting a little upset at how long you were hugging this newcomer for, considering everyone had stopped except for you two.

“We don’t have all day!” Namjoon remarked, his tone was bitter. You didn’t realize you had embraced Jungkook for so long, you had connected a lot during his first day, you talked until the high hours of the night, so you felt good with him, it was easy. You let go and walked back, whispering I’m sorry’s to the group for the hold up. “The next stage is soul gazing, you will stare at your partner in silence, it encourages you to see and connect with your partner on a deeper emotional level,” Lana said.

The silence of everyone was quite comfortable, and watching Jungkook you felt such warmth and kindness emanating from him, and you also saw him tear up a bit. “You have a beautiful soul Ynie,” he admitted, and like the Grinch, you felt your heart grow three sizes from those words. Namjoon, however, was seething, who the hell is guy anyway, why is he making you swoon all the sudden? It was bullshit, absolute bullshit. After the workshop was finally over, Lana announced the winner, you.

“Yn, who do you choose to go on this date with,” the little cone asked, and everyone’s eyes were on you. The expectations were skewed, some were expecting you to pick Namjoon, and some were expecting you to pick Jungkook based on the past two days alone.

“Jungkook,” he had the prettiest smile, “wanna go on this date with me?”

“Yes!” He was very enthusiastic, giving you a quick side hug, the girls rushed to your side to help you get ready.

Namjoon was with the guys as they all watched Jungkook getting ready, he wasn’t very excited about the prospect of you going on a date with someone, he wanted you all for himself to enjoy and he couldn’t have that if you went with Jungkook. He heard Jimin giggling, noticing he’d been staring at him this whole time. “What?”

“Good thing you don’t have laser vision, poor Jungkookie would be dead if you did,” he continued to chuckle.

“I’m not even looking at him.”

“Give me a fucking break hyung, it’s obvious you are jealous of the guy, I mean just today’s workshop alone shows that,” Jimin explained, “if you like Yn you should shoot your shot.”

Did Namjoon like you? I mean he was definitely not repulsed by you, you were a smart, pretty girl. But how would he know you wouldn't use him? Sure you didn't seem like you would but what about when you were out in the real world?

“I'll be back,” Jungkook had a big grin on his face, “wish me luck!”

As Namjoon watched the youngest out of the men walk out, he decided he would get dressed himself, and get his frustration out with the punching bag at their designated workout area. Watching as he met you at the door to the villa. You were wearing a simple gray summer dress and it complimented your skin tone beautifully.

Jungkook was a little confused on why Namjoon was so adamantly upset at him, but he couldn’t worry about him right now, not when he was so excited to see you. You were incredibly nice to him when he arrived, and your conversation had been so wonderful when he’d pulled you aside. You talked about so many things, where you were from, what you did for work, what your goals were.

“I’m a tattoo artist! I’ve drawn most of the pieces I’ve gotten done,” he took off the shirt he was wearing, the white tank top underneath being the only thing keeping you from seeing his abs. His sleeve was beautiful, so incredibly colorful and full of life, he explained most of his tattoos, including the ones that were meant as cover-ups for others. Your eyes got lost in the way his muscles flexed as they trailed up his arm, eventually your gaze ended up meeting his.

He had stars in his eyes, and his smile seemed so incredibly genuine, he cocked his head to the side as he stared at you, “can I ask you something?” you nodded, “do you and Namjoon hyung have something going on? I don’t want to move forward with pursuing you if you are not available,” the question left you a bit stunned and you thought it through before deciding to trust Jungkook with the truth.

“We’ve had some serious sexual tension since we got here,” you admitted, “no one knows this but we actually fucked on our second night here,” the pretty man in front of you deflated a bit, and then it seemed to hit him, “so, not even the weird cone thing knows?”

“I mean she probably knows now,” you chuckled humorlessly. “Anyway, after that we agreed not to tell anyone, and we started building a friendship, I started sort of catching feelings, and I thought he was too, he would do little nice things for me, and then say something mean after,” you sighed, “so I’m not sure about him as person.”

Jungkook was a great listener, he stayed quiet and gave you his undivided attention the entire time you were talking, and now he sat pensive, looking up at the stars as he tried to come up with something to tell you, “I think you are really cool, Yn, and I think you deserve someone who will want you in every way, not just because you’re stunning” you blushed slightly at his words, “I would love to get to know you better and explore something with you, but if you want Namjoon that badly, then I don’t want to get hurt, going after girls who are emotionally unavailable or attached to someone else is exactly why I’ve become a man whore.”

You were shocked at his candor and honesty, but it endeared you to him and made you envy him. Why couldn’t you have your shit together? Why were your boundaries so unclear? Worst of all, a pretty guy who had treated you with nothing but respect wanted you… but your feelings for Namjoon were more, from the small coffee offering to conversations he would have with you about books you both had read, to deep conversations about each other’s life.

“You are a good person Jungkook.”

“But I’m not the kind of person you want.” You gave him a saddened smile, “I’m fine with being your friend Ynie, you are a good person too, and in time Namjoon will realize it too,” the night continued on with so much laughter, Jungkook felt like a long lost friend, and you were happy that life had brought him to you.

Namjoon was not happy. The people in the villa watched as he beat the absolute shit out of the punching bag in front of him, his jaw was clenched, and his mind was playing all the possibilities of what may happen on your date with Jungkook.

Did you do any of the things you'd done with him? Did you kiss him? Did you like him? Will you come back with a stronger connection and leave him to rot?

If you did he wouldn't blame you, he deserves every one of those things, especially after the way he'd treated you, all hot and cold. It truly isn't his fault, so many strings of wrong relationships, with the last one being a constant cycle of toxicity and gaslighting, which Namjoon can now admit he was a part of. Him and his last partner weren't good for each other, but they loved each other so intensely they didn't want to let go.

Love hard, hurt harder, you know?

He heard your unmistakable laughter along with his, and he started punching his bag harder. How long had he been standing here punching this poor bag? He didn't care, currently he was imagining Jungkook’s head on a stake.

“Namjoon?” Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, he turned his gaze toward, whilst still in a punching stance, “can we talk?” Namjoon straightened up at that. He kinda liked the way you were checking how sweaty his body was, he didn't like your sudden frown however.

“Your knuckles are bleeding.” 

Were they? Surely he wasn't punching the bag that long that hard. But when he pulled up his hands to look at the damage he couldn't help but cackle.

“I guess they are.”

“Why don't you go take care of them and then we can talk, hmm?” You gave him a tight, close-lipped smile.

Fuck no.

There was no way he was letting you leave after you were the reason he'd been punching this bag, not when he'd spent the last however long wondering, overthinking, what you and Jungkook would possibly be doing. There was simply no way. It was almost a reflex the way his hand wrapped around your wrist, you barely had time to look at him before he pulled you away to a secluded corner of the villa, cornering you against the wall with both of his arms caging you in, droplets of sweat all over his body. 

It was crazy, the way your body seemed to respond so quickly to him, he heard the small whimper, and saw how you put your legs together, and fuck sake the way you were looking at him was like you were begging him to…

He wanted to do this right though. He moved away slightly, giving you some space to breathe, “what'd you wanna talk about Yn?”

“My date with Jungkook went well,” okay maybe not what he was expecting.

“Good for you?”

“I think we'll be great friends, him and I,” Namjoon suddenly felt himself taking a deep breath of relief. “Really?” The space he'd given you was gone again.

He hoped you could see just how affected he also was by you, how his own dick was stirring, having your body so close, having you so close. You must’ve sat there staring at each other for a few minutes, Namjoon’s gaze going back and forth between your lips and your eyes, there was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to do to you, with you. He leaned in slowly, your height difference making him bend down slightly, your eyes fluttered shut and he stopped just close enough that your noses were brushing together, you were so beautiful. Before you could ask him what was taking him so long he connected your lips in a delicious, passionate kiss, your tongues explored each other’s mouths and your hands held onto his shoulders.

Namjoon was the first to pull away, only to move his kisses down to your jaw and eventually your neck, causing you to let out little moans, they were the prettiest sound to Namjoon. He found himself reaching for the shorts you had worn under your gray dress, “may I take these off?” he asked, his eyes hooded and filled with want, all you could do was let out a pathetically high-pitched ‘yes’. He hooked his thumbs at the waistband, dragging your underwear down with it, he watched them pool at your feet and then knelt down, “is this okay?” you felt his breath against your center, making you squirm slightly.

“Yes.”

He dove right in, licking the length of your slit, groaning at how aroused you were and he had barely done anything to you. He moved on to your clit, wrapping his lips around the bundle of nerves and sucking gently, causing your moans to become slightly louder, “you gotta keep quiet for me baby,” he instructed you when he briefly pulled away to catch his breath, the sight of the lower half of his face glistening with your wetness making you almost want to orgasm right then. He started eating you out again, this time adding his fingers to the mix, and you had to cover your mouth to make sure your moans wouldn’t be heard all over the villa. You felt yourself closer and closer to your climax and Namjoon could too, your walls squeezed his fingers tightly almost as if wanting to keep them prisoner, and he wanted nothing more than to replace them with his cock, especially because it was so painfully hard. You wanted that too, you wanted nothing more than for this to go all the way, but you felt that in order for what you wanted to work, things had to be different.

“Namjoon, stop” he immediately moved away from you, gently removing his fingers. You took a moment to catch your breath, as he slowly pulled up your shorts and underwear and fixed your dress for you, “did I hurt you?” he asked, holding your hips, looking genuinely concerned at your sudden request. He had an almost boyish charm when this side of him was shown to you, so sweet, so gentleman-like, why would he not be like this always?

“No, I just,” you sighed, putting your hands on his chest, “I like you Namjoon, I would like for us to try and get to know each other, for us to get the chance to see if this could go anywhere, but I’m not sure if that’s what you want, and I need to know, because I don’t want to be pining for someone that just wants me for sex.”

Your confession surprised him, he hadn’t thought that all your conversations and your sexual tension would lead to anything more than maybe a friends with benefits kind of situation. However, considering how he's been reacting to the possibility of you and Jungkook together, maybe he did want to explore more.

“I'd love to get to know you more Ynie,” he flashed his dimpled smile at you, and you felt your heart fluttering. Jumping into his arms for a hug in which Namjoon made sure to hold you extra tight. Maybe this was the beginning of his healing.

(Day 27)

The rest of the stay at the villa was great for you two, Namjoon was so very thoughtful, he made you fresh coffee every morning, and you guys had a reading date every afternoon, where you shared the big love seat by the pool, laying back on his chest as he held whatever book you were reading in front of both of you.

People weren't too happy once Lana deducted the money for your offense after your date with Jungkook, and they were even more distraught when they found out what shenanigans you'd been up to on your second night there, you had lost them so much money the price money was down to forty-five thousand dollars. Jihee almost jumped you, thankfully Jungkook was there to hold her back. Speaking of, you ended up having another girl show up, a sweet blonde named Maddie who immediately caught Jungkook’s attention. It was great seeing your friend happy. You guys would have chats by the pool when you got a chance and update each other on the happenings of your relationships. 

Lana had also been a bit more liberal by giving you all bracelets, when they lit up you’d be allowed to kiss the other person, this would only happen if your emotional connection had been proven to strong and genuine.

Although you and Namjoon were still very much in the eyes of everyone, “getting to know each other,” that would all change three days before you left the villa. You honestly had no clue when he had the time, but when Lana announced you were going on a date with Namjoon, everyone seemed to be beaming at the idea. He told you to dress nice. So you opted for a two-piece white set, with a loose halter top, white loose shorts, and wedges. Turns out you were going on a boat ride.

“Oh my god Joon,” you beamed as he helped you sit down at the front of the boat, where an assortment of sushi was waiting for you. You sailed along, enjoying the sun on your skin, and the beautiful man that kept feeding you sushi, especially since even if he tried to show you how to use chopsticks you still couldn’t keep the sushi in your grasp for long. You talked some more about life, and you ended up opening up to one another.

“My last relationship was like, three years ago,” he started, “she basically only wanted me for my money, but I didn’t really notice, I just wanted to love and be loved, and I thought that I was being good, I spoiled her, gave her everything and she still cheated on me, so I swore off relationships and became a man-whore,” he chuckled bitterly. “My last relationship was four years ago, it was very toxic, he basically made me feel bad for not always wanting to be on his dick, or because I spent time with my friends and not him, he went around telling everyone our business but always left out how awful he was to me.” You had been staring at the horizon, the sun slowly setting bringing golden hour to you.

“Eventually when we broke up, he tried getting back together with me, and when I said no, he started shit-talking my friends and myself, and all I could do was watch as they got tired of dealing with me and my drama, so now I only had my sister to rely on,” you felt Namjoon’s hand on your cheek, he watched with sorrowful expression, “you were crying.”

“I swore off relationships after that too, I have never felt more alone than during that time, and I didn’t want to feel like that again.”

“I know at first I didn’t do the best job at not making you feel that way, but I hope I can help you feel less lonely,” Namjoon said, still caressing your cheeks, you felt your wrist vibrate, seeing the big green checkmark on your watch, Namjoon had the same. You were ready to lean in to kiss him, but he stopped you.

“Before we kiss,” he started, “getting to know you has been amazing, I find myself learning some much about myself and slowly coming back to who I was before all the bullshit. I want us to be real, I want to go back to the real world and make it work with you, would you be my girlfriend Ynie?” Your cheeks hurt from how wide you were smiling, you never really thought of yourself getting back into a relationship, you had sworn you were too damaged for something like that, but maybe this was the start to your healing. “I want to make it work in the real world too, I’d love to be your girlfriend,” his dimpled smile gave you butterflies, and as his other hand reached your cheek to fully cup your face, he closed the space between you with a kiss that had been different from the ones before, the others were hungry, desperate, and horny, this one was slow, passionate, and breath-taking. You felt your wrist vibrate again, making you pull away much to your dismay.

“I’m excited for the outside world together,” his gaze was sweet and soft, something you had never seen. He laid back, opening his arms up so you could cuddle.

“Me too,” you smiled, quickly moving your picnic stuff out of the way and scooting over, you laid your head on his chest, you heard his heart beating so fast and so loud, “your heart is about to beat out of your chest,” you giggled.

“I was so fucking nervous,” you looked up at him, “but I am happy I think, hopefully we’ll make it through.”

Fingers crossed.

[bratzforchris]

helloooo :) could you write a dom!luke with fem!reader where luke gets the idea of recording your moans while fucking and trying to get them sampled into a song and it’s just like really hardcore sex and stuff??

Five Sauce

꒰ ⊹ ˚ Summary — What starts as goofing off with your bandmates ends in something much, much more (Kinktober Day 17)

Pairing — 5sos (dom!ash, dom!cal, switch!luke, sub!michael) x female and band member!reader

Word Count — 3.3k

Content Warnings — Smut, group hookup, strong language, doggy style with multiple members, missionary, oral (m and f receiving), spanking every so often, handjobs, overstimulation, sub punishment by dom, orgasm denial, overall filth :3

Note — Well, I definitely strayed from this prompt a bit, but I hope you love it anyways! Please request in my ask box if you'd like the same thing, but solo Luke centric. I figured this counted as some good ole' hardcore smut >:> Also, please note that my writing does not reflect 5 Seconds of Summer in real life in any shape or form. This is for entertainment only.

DNI under 18 please :)

♡

“You’ve actually never had a threesome, Y/N?” Calum asked you. “No offense, but you’re kinda a whore.” he laughed. 

“Shut up,” You said, throwing a pillow towards him. “Some of us aren’t kinky fucks.”

“I mean, he didn’t lie.” Luke shrugged. 

You chuckled, kissing Luke’s cheek. Luke was definitely your closest thing to a partner, but there was definitely some erotic tension within the band. You’d shared makeouts with all, and sometimes two of, the boys, but you hadn’t done anything further than that with anyone besides Luke. 

“Who here thinks Y/N should have a threesome or moresome?” Michael asked, ever the kinky one. 

The band was currently over at Ashton’s house, trading song ideas and lyrics for the upcoming album, CALM. Somehow, probably because of the talk over Wildflower, the topic of conversation had changed from the album to sex. You didn’t mind, if anything, you rather enjoyed it. You’d been in the kink scene for a while, and the talk of having a hookup with more than one person excited you. 

“Oh, I absolutely do,” Ashton said finally, gnawing on his lip. “She needs it.” 

“Says who?” You asked. “You?”

Luke snorted. “You know Ashton loves to be in control.” 

“I dunno, Luke. You weren’t saying that after the Youngblood release party,” Calum scooted closer to the blond. “I definitely wrote ‘I love the way you’re screaming my name’ about that.”

Luke flushed, burying his face in your side. You knew he hooked up with the other guys every now and then, and for some reason, the thought turned you on more than it annoyed you. The blond was more often your dom than your sub, and the idea of him submitting to someone else was a very pretty image. 

“Fine,” You said, cutting right to the chase. “I’ll do it. But you guys have to help.” You chuckled, watching as their faces dropped. 

“Are you actually serious right now?” Michael asked, his dick hardening at the scene that was practically dangling in front of his face. 

“I am,” You nodded solemnly. “What? You guys are hot. Just because you’re my bandmates doesn’t mean I can’t say that.”

Michael moaned, laying himself on top of you and Luke, placed perfectly so that you could both feel his raging hard-on. “That’s so fuckin’ hot.”

“You’re a slut, Michael.” Calum chuckled before leaning in to softly suckle on Michael’s pale, milky neck while using his right hand to slowly palm Luke’s lap. 

The scene in front of you was already making your pussy throb with excitement and you crossed your legs, watching it unfold. Before you knew it, Ashton had come to sit beside you on his large, L-shaped couch. 

“Not participating in the fun, Y/N?” he asked you. “This is about you, y’know.” he hummed in your ear, voice husky. 

“Oh,” You moaned softly as Ashton ran his hand up and down your thigh. “Um.”

Michael and Luke looked at you when they heard you moan. Being a bit more sublike than Ashton and Calum, they were eager to please you. Luke pulled slightly away from Calum, just enough to run his tongue across your jawline and lips, slowly inserting into your mouth and beginning to make out with you. By this point, all five of you were touching each other somehow; the whole scene was definitely leading to something more, hence why Ashton stood up suddenly, hands on hips. 

“Luke, Michael, Y/N. Bedroom, now. We’ll be with you in a minute.” he said, nodding towards Calum and asserting his “dom” voice that you’d heard stories about. 

Michael immediately scampered off, eager to have someone dom him and take control, but you and Luke hung back a bit, eyeing each other. 

“Are you two deaf?” Calum asked. “Go.”

“What if I wanna dom?” Luke asked as he licked his lips, ever the brat. 

“Gee, Luke,” Ash hummed nonchalantly. “I wouldn’t want to have to punish you in front of Y/N, now would I?”

Luke blushed a bright pink, looking over at you. “I promise I’m a switch.”

“Yeah, like 20% of the time,” Calum snorted. “Now go.”

You both looked at each other and giggled a bit. You took the blond’s hand and led him to Ashton’s large master bedroom. Your face was already flushed and your sex was throbbing at the thought of watching Luke get punished by either Ashton or Calum. Michael had already propped himself up with a few silken pillows, completely naked and panting heavily as he tried to refrain from touching himself. 

“You really are a pro at being a whore, aren’t you?” You asked him. 

Michael nodded his head, whining softly. “Mmmmm, Luke.” he moaned. 

Luke laid down on the bed, patting the spot next to him for you to sit down. “Awww, you want me to fuck you and have Y/N watch? Wanna get humiliated in front of the hot girl?” he asked, trailing his fingers up and down Michael’s bare thighs. 

The green eyed-boy nodded, looking up at Luke through his lashes. “Uh huh.”

You blushed, kissing Luke’s neck. “Go on. Do it. Humiliate him.” You smirked. 

Luke turned towards you, pausing his seducing of Mike. “You need to be a good girl first. Strip.” he commanded.

You bowed your head and slowly pulled off your shirt, making sure Luke and Michael were watching. After you had tugged your shirt off, you turned your back so that Luke could unclasp your bra. Once he had done so, Luke tugged off his own clothes, eyeing both you and Michael in a seductive way.

“Help please?” You asked him in a sultry voice, fluttering your lashes. 

Luke smirked, landing a smack to your ass before undoing your bra and tossing it onto Michael. “Good fuckin’ girl.”

You blushed and then slid your pants off, doing the same thing with your underwear. Within just a few seconds both your panties and your bra were draped across Michael. The whole scene was like something out of a porn, and you knew that Ashton and Calukm would definitely be mad, but that wasn’t stopping the three of you. 

“Kneel, Y/N.” Luke said, denying Michael of any attention that he was so desperately whining and moaning for. 

You immediately did as Luke asked, blushing. “Yes sir.”

Luke eyed you up and down one time before smirking. “Good girl. Now watch.”

He turned to Michael and began to palm his dick, leaving hickeys across the boy’s pale, milky tummy. You couldn’t help but to feel turned on by the scene, your stomach tightening as you watched Luke’s fingers work Michael’s dick. Michael began to moan, throwing his head back and wiggling against the sheets. 

“I know you can do it.” Luke told Michael as he pumped him harder.

You were practically ready to cum yourself as you watched Michael grip handfuls of the sheets in hands as he tried so desperately not to release. Luke wasn’t showing the green eyed boy any mercy and it was hot. 

“Oh god, Luke.” he whimpered. 

“Ah ah, be good for Y/N.” Luke told him. 

Michael whined, wriggling and thrusting his hips. You crossed your legs and bit your lips, knowing you would be next for Luke if you didn’t listen. Even if he was a switch, Luke always pushed you as a dom, but you loved it. Finally, Luke decided he’d had enough of torturing Michael. He gave him one last thrust of the hand before speaking. 

“Go ahead, honey. Show Y/N how pretty you are when you cum.” Luke taunted, running his pointer finger down Michael’s tear-stained cheek. 

He didn’t need to be told twice; Michael immediately let go, covering his tummy and thighs, as well as Luke’s chest in thick, white ropes of cum. The boy panted as he rode out his high, grasping onto Luke’s forearms. 

“Huh huh…” he panted. “Thank you.” he moaned tiredly, smiling up at Luke a sleepy, fucked out smile. 

“You’re welcome. Good boy.” Luke cooed, kissing his forehead. 

When you heard Luke talk like that, you immediately let out a moan, crawling across the mountain of sheets towards him. “Need you.” You whimpered. 

“Did I tell you you could move?” Luke asked, raising a brow. 

You shook your head, looking down at the bed. “No, I’m sorry.”

Luke lifted your chin in his hand, glaring down at you. “You will ask me for permission in the future.”

You nodded, a blush speckling your cheeks. “I understand.”

“I think you need a little punishment, honey.” Luke said, as he bent to reach into Ashton’s nightstand. 

Despite this not being his house, there had been many hookups in this room, and Luke knew exactly where Ashton kept his condoms. He retrieved one from the drawer, pulling it out of the wrapper and rolling it onto Michael’s still erect cock. The blond nodded between you two before sitting back and crossing his arms. 

“Well. Since you two wanted to be so naughty, go for it. I’ll join in when I feel like it.” Luke said with a sneer. 

You and Michael looked at each other, before the green-eyed boy eventually bounded across the king sized bed to you. 

“You’re so pretty, Y/N.” he whispered, dipping his head. 

“On top.” You commanded Michael, knowing that would leave a way for Luke to join in which you so desperately wanted. 

He slowly did as you asked, sliding himself between your wet folds and jerking back instantly, in an almost teasing way. “Is this okay?”

“It’s perfect.” You panted out, so beyond horny. 

Suddenly, Michael slammed into you in a way that you didn’t know he was capable of. He began to ride you, moaning loudly and throwing his head back. You quickly joined in, the tightness of your pussy and the way Michael looked so pretty looking down at you making you so much more sensitive than usual. 

Before long, you were already near orgasm. His hips continued to grind into yours, the sound of his balls hitting your ass echoing around the room. You wondered what Ashton and Calum were doing that they hadn’t heard what was going on, but right now, you didn’t care. 

“Oh,” You whimpered. “Oh Mike. Gonna cum.” 

“Not yet,” Luke said out of the blue, straddling Michael’s hips from behind. “You’re not cumming until I say so. Both of you.”

The blond immediately slammed into Michael’s pretty, pink hole with no lube or condom, making the boy cry out in a mixture of pleasure and pain. The scene was like something out of a pornographic film. Michsel was topping you, panting heavily as Luke edged him, all three of you letting out sensual, seductive moans, whimpers, and pants. 

“Gonna cum.” You and Michael cried at nearly the same time. 

Luke was also nearing his climax, but he was much more skilled at holding his in and being edged than you two were. 

“Go ahead, Y/N. Cum for…” Michael’s sentence was interrupted by the door flying open. 

“What is this?” Calum asked, surveying the scene. 

Luke immediately pulled out of Michael and kneeled, looking down at the bed. “‘M sorry…” he whispered. 

Michael did the same with, quickly covering himself with the sheets and hiding his face in a throw pillow. You straightened up, trying oh-so-desperately to clench your legs. The way the boys had interrupted you three was perhaps the cruelest form of edging there was. 

“Save it, Luke. You know what happens to naughty boys.” Ashton sneered, sitting down on the bed and giving Luke’s blond curls a slight tug. 

Luke whined, his head becoming fuzzy as he slipped into subspace. Michael was already in his headspace, but the way Calum, who was his regular dom, was looking at him made him sink further and further in.

“I think Luke and Michael need to watch,” Ash stated. “I know they’re the ones that started it. They’re just little sluts, right boys?”

Luke nodded his head slowly, blushing. “Yes, sir.”

Michael didn’t speak, but nodded his head, giggling softly.

“Good job,” Ash patted each of their knees before roughly grabbing your hips and pulling you closer to him. “As for you.”

He began to make out with you passionately, pinning you to the bed as Calum stroked your inner thighs, exciting your nerves. You had never gone further than a drunken makeout with either of the boys, but you were so horny and so close to cumming at the current moment that they were absolutely turning you on. 

“Look at her,” Calum said, placing kisses on your thighs. “So desperate for a cock.”

You moaned into Ashton's kisses, tugging on Calum’s curls. The entire scene was beyond hot. All five of you were spread out across Ashton’s large bed. Luke and Michael were sitting at the foot of it, completely naked and trying not to touch themselves as they watched the doms make out with you. Calum was caressing your thighs with both his hands and his lips, kissing along your slit ever so teasingly. 

Ashton had your arms pinned to the bed and was heatedly making out with you, every so often tugging on your hair. “You want me, baby? Want me cock inside your pretty little pussy?”

You whimpered and nodded, tensing and clenching your legs as Calum hit a particularly sensitive spot. “Oh…”

“I’ll save the best for last. Let Cal have his fun. You two,” he nodded over at Luke and Michael. “Get cleaned up and in pajamas. You’re going to bed without getting off, sweets. That’s what happens when you get Y/N in trouble.” Ashton’s tone was firm, but he did press a kiss to Luke and Michael’s forehead as they trudged into the bathroom. 

Ashton leaned back against the headboard and pulled his shirt off, smirking to himself as he watched Calum’s tongue edge closer and closer to your opening. The raven-haired boy crouched fully and slowly began to run his tongue along your folds, licking over your clit. 

If there was one thing Calum was famous for in the bedroom, it was not giving a warning. He began to eat out without a word, tongue thrusting in and out of your hole and going over your clit. You locked your legs around his head, crying out. 

“Cal. Feels so good.” You nearly hollered. 

He smirked, lifting his head up so he could speak. “Need to cum already, princess?”

You nodded your head, gripping the sheets and throwing your head back, deep, throaty moans eliciting from your mouth. 

“Not a chance.” he smirked, landing a smack to your ass as he ate you out faster and harder. 

By this point, tears were practically streaking down your cheeks. The lingering feeling of being edged earlier, combined with how good Calum’s tongue felt against your sensitive nerves was pushing you over the edge. 

“Please, need to cum.” You cried. 

“I know you can hold it, baby girl.” he moaned, the vibrations just feeding the feeling even more. 

You shoved your face into your hand as you cried, bucking your hips up. Calum was just making you feel so, so good that your brain was overloaded. “Please.”

Eventually, Calum decided he’d had his fun with you. You’d been such a good girl, and for that, you deserved to cum. “Go ahead, baby. Cum all over my face.” he hummed. 

You immediately did as told, thrusting closer to him as you let go, your cum coating his face. Calum lifted his head up and smirked, wiping the cream from his eyes. “Good fuckin’ girl. She’s a good one, Ash.” he said to his bandmate as he pulled off his shirt. 

You blushed, dipping your head as you caught your breath. “Thank you.”

Ashton smirked, practically ripping off his pants after seeing what a good sub you were. “I want you to watch while I have my fun, Cal. Enjoy yourself.” he chuckled. 

Although Calum was also a dom, Ashton had fallen into the role of lead dom for this particular scene. The brown-eyed boy removed his clothes when Ashton spoke, ready to get off on the scene unfolding before his eyes. 

The honey blond removed his pants before towering over your exhausted frame on his knees. You blushed as you eyed him up and down, staying a minute on his dick. He was much bigger than Luke and Michael and as you glanced over, bigger than Calum as well. 

“Suck.” Ashton demanded. 

You moved yourself to your knees, kneeling before Ashton and fluttering your lashes up at him. “Okay.” You smiled shyly. 

You put his tip in your mouth, running your tongue over the head. Slowly, you took more and more of Ashton’s cock into your mouth. You were bobbing your head and sucking him off rhythmically, giving him quite good head. Eventually, you reached the back of your throat and tried not to gag. The last bit of Ashton’s ten inch dick that you couldn’t fit in your mouth you began to pump with your right hand. 

“Good girl.” Ashton moaned, throwing his head back. 

You began to bob your head faster and harder, matching the erotic noises coming from Calum’s mouth beside you as he got himself off. By this point, Michael and Luke had returned from the bathroom where they had cleaned themselves up and were watching the current threesome with wide eyes. They were so used to being dommed by Ashton and Calum that although they weren’t getting fucked themselves, watching them fuck you was a treat in itself. 

“Oh baby, makin’ me feel so good.” Ash said, tugging on your hair and wiggling his hips.

You looked up at him and tried to smile, giving him one last suck as you felt his dick twitch, indicating his need to cum. 

“Gonna cum, Y/N.” he panted. 

Ashton pulled your hair tightly one more time before releasing, all of his cum shooting down your throat. You pulled off his dick, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand and smiling. You were absolutely exhausted and the feeling of Ashton’s cum coating your throat was making you feel beyond good. 

“Thank you.” You whispered. 

“You’re such a good girl,” Ashton cooed, kissing your forehead. 

Just as he said that, Calum reached his own climax and came in his hand, moaning loudly. He smirked as he realized the other four of you had just watched him get off and based by the lustful looks in all of your eyes, you had enjoyed it. 

“That’s so hot…” Luke whispered, blue eyes wide. 

Ashton pulled a pack of baby wipes out of his nightstand and pulled a few out before passing the pack to Luke. “Help with aftercare, sweet boy.”

The blond began to wipe down Calum’s chest and hand, leaving kisses along his tanned body as Michael wrapped him in a cuddle. Ashton did the same for you, wiping down your mouth and chest, making sure to praise you and leave kisses all over your body. He quickly wiped himself down before laying down and pulling you into his chest. 

You two scooted over to where Michael, Luke, and Calum were laying. “Band cuddle,” You giggled sleepily. “Thank you guys. For helping me have my first group hookup.” You chuckled. 

“We should get Y/N’s moans sampled into a song,” Luke suggested. “That would sell so many fuckin’ records.”

You giggled softly, leaning over and planting a kiss on his cheek. “I love you guys. All of you.” 

You got a chorus of “I love you, Y/N”’s back, which made you feel so warm inside. You and this band had had nothing but love for each other for the past nine years. Now, you were finally getting to show it in more ways than one, and you couldn’t be happier. 

[b0r3dtod3ath]

No brakes, part 1

Summary: Every time Y/N has been featured in a “No Brakes” episode (1,2,4,5)

F1 Masterlist 

Word count: 1.25k I think

Warnings (also mentioned before every paragraph): Mentions of working out; a sex joke; mentions of body dysmorphia

Ep. 1 

Daniel had a few weeks in between races and he decided to take you on a trip to Austria. He has been there many times and he wanted you to know how beautiful this country is. The trip was full of bike rides, hiking, and eating schnitzels. After a few days of vacation Daniel started recording a Youtube series called “No brakes”.

You decided to go for a hike. After an hour of climbing a semi-tall mountain you were greeted with an amazing view. You wanted to take a closer look at how high above the ground you actually were. You were about to get closer to the edge when you felt a pair of hands grabbing you “Please be careful. If you were to fall I would jump”. The strong need to keep you safe would often result in Daniel shouting at people. He’s not an irascible person but when it comes to you he has no limits. 

“We are gonna scare them. We’re doing something really cool.” All the camera could see was a smiling face hidden in the bush. You were going down at your own pace, careful not to slip, so you were a bit behind most of the group. It was around noon, green trees hid you from direct sunlight allowing a slight breeze to pass through. As you walked down a small path a group of four people jumped from the bushes. After a short mini heart attack you started dying of laughter causing everyone to laugh too. 

“You want to go up the mountain in the evening and watch the sunset? A few locals said it was really good.” Daniel lowered his voice a bit as you were sitting at a table, eating lunch with a bunch of other guys and his offer was to you only. A lot of the time you were surrounded by other people but he always made sure you two could have a moment alone during the day. He is a busy guy but he always tries to find some quality time for his lover. Whether it’s 15 minutes in his driver’s room before a race or a full evening after a race week. He likes to make sure that he is not distracted, so he would mute his phone and focus on you. 

As you were climbing the mountain, Danny was humming a song that has been stuck in his head for the past few days. At this point you could probably recite the full lyric because you have heard it so many times. “I’m glad you like it here.” says Daniel “Yea, we should come here more often. I think you should rest more, overall.” You were always scared of Daniel overworking himself. You knew being a driver was a hard job and you didn’t want him to feel burned out. You were always there for him. Always gave as much space as he wanted, always gave a shoulder to cry on after a terrible race. You two always cared for each other. 

Ep. 2 (tw: mentions of working out, a sex joke)

Next video featured preparing for the race in Monaco. Daniel was just about to leave the place you were staying in. “I’m going to do a quick workout.” he says, grabbing your waist and kissing your cheek. He always did it before he left. “Oh! By the way, I’m gonna go for a run. I just feel like doing a quick cardio, I don’t know. I just feel this energy.” His lips form the characteristic smile “I thought we were going to do cardio tonight”. He squeezes your hip as you respond “Don’t get your hopes up, Ricciardo. Now go, Michael is probably waiting.” Daniel only moves closer to kiss you. His hands on his hips - trying to convince you that his trainer can wait. You suddenly pull back “Go!”. “Okay, okay. Don’t forget your phone when you go out! I love you.” he laughed. You always had each other’s location shared. He wasn’t controlling you by any means, he just wanted to know you’re safe when you are not with him.

Ep. 4 (singer!reader; solange lyrics; tw: mentions of body dysmorphia) 

You always wanted Daniel to be on your album, even before you two started dating. He always pushed it off saying that he isn’t a good singer but you would find ways to feature him in other ways. You wanted him to read one of the sentences that really got stuck in your mind. He said it one night when you weren’t feeling the best in your body. He knew something was off but he didn’t want to push you. He noticed a pattern when your self confidence was a bit low. Little things that you didn’t pay attention to but he used to read you like an open book. He would always make sure to treat you even better than usual. He would treat you like a literal goddess. He would run you a bath, wash your hair, shower you with kisses constantly reminding you of how beautiful you were.

 It was just gonna be a half a minute interlude. His voice would be a bit edited so it would sound more dreamy. “Ok, so you go in there and you just read this.” You said giving him a piece of paper and pointing at a recording booth. He didn’t really look at the paper until the mic was recording. You gave him a thumbs up and he started to read “Do you realize how magnificent you are? The god that created you is a divine architect. That created the moon, the sun, the stars, Jupiter, Mars, Pluto, Venus. You are the walking embodiment of god consciousness.” As soon as he realized these are the words that he said he instantly started smiling. You did a couple of takes in case and told him to come back. “Aw! I didn’t know you remembered what I said that night!” he pulled you into a hug. He got a bit emotional to be honest. “Are you kidding me? That was the most beautiful thing you have ever came up with. You are gonna get credit for that. A beautiful “Daniel Ricciardo” written in the writers’ rubric.”.

Ep. 5

Daniel loved to impress you by doing donuts. He was about to park when an idea popped in his mind- he could get some extra footage as well as impress you. You were looking at your phone as you felt the car moving unusually, you knew what was going on. You turned to face your boyfriend and gave him a look that told more than words. He started laughing as he saw you in the corner of his eye.

You were supposed to meet Jenson and watch him and Daniel drive go karts. “You sure you don’t want to try? I can teach you.” says Daniel as he is done changing into his racing suit “Nah, I’m good. Don’t worry” you say. Danny always wanted to involve you in everything but you didn’t want to be stuck to him if that makes sense. You would show up to his races and support him but you weren’t really the first one to be on camera. He always respected that but didn’t want you to feel left out.

[nicksbestie]

I had a brilliant idea for cal the other day but I wasn't sure if I wanted to ask but since you said you needed more cal reqs I got you !!

cal writes a song he's super excited about but nervous to share w the guys so he shares it with you and you encourage him to bring it to the guys bc obviously it's amazing

Moodswings

word count : 1102

warnings : mentions of anxiety

enjoy!

<3

Songwriting is hard.

Writing the song itself is already a challenge, and it only gets harder when you have to gain the approval of other people before you can release it, and then you have the stress and pressure of wondering if other people will like it enough to listen to it, and promote it. It’s a long process that’s incredibly difficult on your mind, especially if you’re writing something vulnerable. And when you’re working with a band and other producers, that’s at least three approving opinions you have to gain. So, it’s pretty nerve wracking to present an idea. 

These were the thoughts going through Calum’s mind as he stared down at the paper he’d been scribbling on for the past few hours, trying to put something together that he would like. All of the other guys had already worked on something amazing, Luke had written one of their singles, “Take My Hand”, Michael had come up with a gut wrenchingly sad but beautiful melody for “Emotions”, and Ashton was in the process of working on “Tears!”. Calum felt like he had to come up with something to match their level of intelligence, and for the first time in a while, he was doubting his lyrical ability. 

Of course, nobody else in the room doubted him. They all knew that Calum had a wonderful mind, and whatever he wanted to produce, it would be great. But they also knew that he got into his own head, way too much sometimes, and it caused a lot of that creative process to grind its gears and get stuck for a while until it came back. And that could last hours, days, weeks, or months for him. They weren’t on a time crunch with this album, but they could tell that Calum felt pressured to push something out at the same speed that they were, and neither of them wanted that to happen. If he pushed himself to get something out quickly, the quality of it wouldn’t be where he wanted it to be, and he wouldn’t be happy with it overall. 

The studio session felt successful for everyone, except Cal. He felt that everyone else had been productive, but he hadn’t. He had helped write on some of the other songs, but nothing really big on his own, and that felt like a major setback for him. Everyone walked out of the studio feeling great except for him, but he attempted to not let it show. However, when he got home to you, he dropped the facade and just wallowed in his feelings for a bit. You weren’t an idiot, walking over to sit next to him on the couch, gently hugging him but not pushing him to talk. 

“If you want to talk about it, I’m here. If not, I’m still here. I love you, and whatever it is, will be okay.”

He softly smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. You could tell it was forced, and softly frowned until he relaxed the mask. He sighed, seeing that you didn’t believe him. Of course, he didn’t expect you to, knowing that you knew him too well, but he gave it a feeble shot anyways. 

“I just feel disappointed in myself.” 

You had a gentle look of sympathy on your face, understanding the feeling all too well.

“Why’s that?” 

He lifted and dropped his shoulders, another sigh escaping his lips as he leaned more into your touch. 

“Everyone else got so much done today, amazing lyrics, really. And I couldn’t get anything good down except a few stanzas. Nothing good enough to present to the rest of them. Nowhere close.”

You hummed, having been with Calum long enough to know the double meaning behind his words. 

“You couldn't get anything done that you liked? Or anything done that you thought everyone else would like? There’s a difference, love.” 

He glared at you, but there was no heat behind it. He knew you’d see straight through his words, understanding and reading between the lines. He knew he’d been caught, but he still acted like he had to think about it before replying. 

“Nothing that I thought everyone else would like. I liked it, though.” 

You smiled, a soft laugh, no cruelty in it, echoing through the room. 

“That’s what I thought, babe. You do this a lot, you psych yourself out, and your lyrical ability is amazing. You believe so lowly in yourself, and I can’t believe it sometimes, because you are so talented. Would you like to show me what you have written?” 

He had a gentle look on his face, not a smile, but not a grimace. He knew it was entirely his choice to show you, you’d never pressure him, and he did want to share it, he was just nervous. So, he pushed those feelings down, and pulled up a photograph of the paper he’d written. You zoomed in, reading the first paragraph words written in Cal’s handwriting. 

I can tell by the look in your eyes

That you don't wanna fight on a Friday night

Livin' my life, lookin' from the outside

I hope you don't mind that I ruined our time

I can tell by the look in your eyes

That you just wanna get on a one-way flight

'Cause you don't ever trust this mind of mine

You're watchin' me lie when I say that I'm fine

Without you

I don't even know myself (Know myself)

Through bloodshot eyes, the sky is fallin'

And I just wanna fuckin' push you away, away (Push you away)

Without you

You looked up at Calum, stopping after the second paragraph, the chorus. He was watching you with nervous eyes. 

“Babe, this is amazing. I see no reason that anyone would ever say this isn’t good. You should absolutely show this to the guys if you love it, okay? I fully believe they’ll love it too.” 

His eyes were showing hope, but his face looked like he didn’t want to believe you. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes.” 

You were sure, and Calum trusted you with his whole heart. The next studio day, he took your advice, having added another verse, and let the rest of the band see what he’d come up with. And just like you’d said, they loved it. Luke helped him write the bridge, and Ashton tweaked a few things, but Calum got the majority of the writing credits, and it was automatically decided to be on the album bonus tracks, track number fifteen. Everyone was so proud of his writing, and he, finally, believed it as well.

[geordikisser]

dessert. ( 18+ ! )

milo x sweetheart.

a/n: milo eating good! (literally,,,,,) need more milo content? im yer guy>;3 i don’t go into heavy detail with the smut but its definitely more than implied 😀. didn’t proof read so there is prolly some grammar errors icl

warnings: obviously, suggestive & mature themes >_O !

your fingers dance around the rim of your glass as your eyes meet your lover’s. a grin is placed comfortably upon your face as one is on his to match. “see something you like?” he quips at you as your eyes are quickly met with the super, suddenly so interesting art upon the walls, earning a quick chuckle from the brunette.

milo rises from his seat, dishes in hand. he gestures towards your plate as you give him a nod, assuring he can go ahead and put them up. “such a gentleman you are.” you take a sip of your beverage as he scoffs playfully. “nothing new under the sun,” he remarks confidently as he makes his way towards the kitchen. your eyes travel to his broad shoulders then his shaped waist, a stare so dangerous it could puncture holes into his back if you looked any harder. dishes placed gently in the sink, he turns to you as he lets the water run hot. “any dessert?” he hums to you, trailed with innocence yet you know better; there was malicious intentions to be followed with those words. you swish your drink around in your cup as you think on whether you will partake him in this ‘dessert’.

milo was always a man of surprises, he was silly, sneaky & a lovable man overall and knew how to keep things interesting with you. “in what way do i want dessert?” you inquire in a playful tone, a tone that riled him up in the best ways. a grin was shamelessly plastered on his face. he was quick to shy away, his hand covering his grin. he readjusts himself as he gets attentive towards the dishes. “i’ll leave that up to you, sweetheart.” he affirms as you took that as an invitation to pursue your titillating thoughts.

as you two finished cleaning up, you found yourselves on the couch. leaning onto one another, the mood was intimate. it was sweet. the air was thin while your touches remained careful, like you two were almost conscious on the placements & how much meaning they could hold. milo spun ‘when i see you again’ by fleetwood mac on vinyl. your fingers traced around milo’s muscled forearm up to his shoulders. “i—,, listened to the song you showed me last night.” he whispered out of the blue, you suddenly snapping up from the cozy position. “what!! you said you hated jazz.” you grumble playfully. a cocky smile on your face.

“i know,,!! but i couldn’t help myself but indulge, it’s your favorite song s—so,,.” he admits, continuing on his anecdote of the song of from your favorite jazz album. your face turning into one of admiration instead one of taunt. the way he found a way to be passionate on a interest of yours instead of speaking poorly upon it, knowing he took the interest into consideration and found nothing distasteful to say towards it. he even wanted to talk about it with you, it made your butterflies in your stomach have butterflies and your heart doing cartwheels into front flips.

you leaned into the man as you kissed him passionately, you caress his face gently as he is shocked. you were so dazed into the little things, you forgot he was still talking. your hand from his cheek trails down to his chest as his hand reaffirms onto your waist. leaning back, you crawl more and more onto him. you hovered yourself over his lap, his back against the arm of the sofa. sitting up slightly as you arched your back slightly into it. pulling away, you two are met with heavy breathing. milo’s face is tickled pink as his eyes meet your lust filled ones. “so uh,,, you kiss everybody who talks about minnie riperton or what.” he teases, chuckling. you sit down on his lap, placing your hand onto his stomach. “it’s not that.” you sneer in response. “you’re so perfect for me milo.” you mumble, looking away.

milo smiles lovingly towards you, though you aren’t one to see it. he gently places his hand on your cheek and gestures it towards his eyes once again. “getting bashful for me, hm?” he smirks, planting a sweet kiss onto your lips. you giggle in a darling way. “you’re just as endearing to me, sweetheart.” he plants little kisses along your flustered face. “you are so sweet for me.” he rests his forehead against yours as he intertwines your guys hands. your lips lock once again tenderly. milo lays you gently onto your back, head against the pillows on the sofa. his kisses trail down to below your jaw then towards your neck. pretty pecks decorate your neck as you squirm underneath his touch. as he unbuttons his dress shirt fully, you pull off your attire alongside his stripping. his hands roam around your body, gently kissing your body as he goes down, practically worshipping it as he goes down.

reaching your thighs, he begins to kiss your inner thighs, whispering sweet nothings as he does. “so soft, so delicate.” he murmurs as he caresses the sides of your thighs. his fingertips bare so soft and tender. you practically trembling at his cold touch that contrasted to your warm body. the heat intensifying as he kissed you lower shamelessly. his hands get a bit risky and he begins to fiddle with the rim of your undergarments. his fingers massaging your hip, dangerously rearing closer towards you crotch. his kisses turn into gentle nips as he began to pull down said underwear of yours. “do ya mind if i take these, sweetheart?” he hums, waiting for your hand of approval. you nod dismissively in response. “of course not.” you smile generously towards the brunette as his eyes reflect with the lust that lingered in yours eyes. complimenting one another as the stare prolonged.

as he slips off your underwear, leaving you bare to his disposal. your heart pounds in your chest like it’s gonna burst. unconsciously, you close your thighs out of embarrassment. milo’s hand stops your legs from closer as he gently seperates them once again. “you’re iridescent, sweetheart.” he murmurs, caressing your stomach down to your inner thigh. his touch circulating the area of your thigh. “that’s a big word for you,,” you tease, looking away bashfully. he rolls his eyes, dismissing what you said with a smile. “you’re a thing of beauty, i swear.” he chuckles as he kisses your stomach gently as he trails down towards your pelvis. “if you give me permission to, i can show you how pretty you are for me right now.” he whispers huskily. you can’t help find a smile creep upon your face with these whispers. you nod your head as you relax your thighs within milo’s hold. “please. i want you.” you pant out in return to his sweet whispers. he smiles as he pecks your crotch properly. “you are the sweetest thing a man could ask for.” he coos as he begins to tease and taunt you, caressing your thigh as he did.

your lower lip quivered as you begin to fiddle with your hands. your face heats up a dangerous red as your breathing matches your heart. milo’s name escapes your mouth breathlessly, like a involuntary response to his touch. you tremble under his loving touch, desperate to repay this pure ecstasy he feeds you whenever your worlds collide for tender moments like this. “you can grip my hair sweetheart, i like that. don’t be shy.” he says as he picks his head up for that quick breath of air. you never been the type to need that sort of relief. your hands were comfortably close you as they played with eachother anxiously, like if they don’t continue to be distracted you would be left self conscious. but at the moment, these seemed appropriate to play with something else. you get a fistful on his brown locks and begin to twiddle and tug at it gently.

pulling him into you as you did. milo’s grunts and pants as he tasted all of you, leaving no spot untouched. but shortly, milo grunts as he taps your thigh gently, referencing for you to let go of his hair. your hands slip away for the entanglements of his hair within an instant. “i’m so sorry, m—milo! was i grabbing to hard?” you stammer out, traced with embarrassment. milo disregards the idea. kissing your thigh before he straightens his posture. “c’mon. im a big boy, i can take it.” he assures you with a smirk. his hands are met to his belt. “but if we both wish to benefit from this, i need to stop before i make a fool of myself in my slacks.” he growls lowly as he slips off his clothing, disregarding them to accompany yours on the floor. you feel those same butterflies as you felt earlier. “i need you.” he admits shamelessly. “please.” he grunts as he looks at you with these desperate & smitten eyes. your hands traced his sides as you nodded. “im all yours.” you giggle as he growls, baring his canines to you. “hold on tight sweetheart.” his eyes dangerously eyeing your body like he’s gonna put it to good use. “i’ve been wanting this all night.”

[shina913]

On Tilt, Part 4 | KNJ

On Tilt, Part 4

Definition: a poker term for a state of mental or emotional confusion or frustration in which a player adopts a suboptimal strategy, usually resulting in the player becoming overly aggressive.

On Tilt Masterlist

Pairing: Namjoon x Fem!Reader

Rating: M 🔞

Genre: idol!AU; strangers-to-FWB-to-lovers; toxic relationship; angst; fluff; smut

Warnings: cussing; vulnerable confessions; explicit and suggestive sexual conversations; making out; heavy petting/groping; unbelievable amount of cheesiness and fluff--it's disgusting how these two have it so bad for each other!

Summary: You’ve said time and time again that you wouldn’t lose yourself to him. You were in control now. You were going to make better choices. For a minute there, you were able to keep up with it. It wasn’t ‘til Namjoon’s extended break that you found yourself falling into old habits. Will you ever learn to quit Kim Namjoon?

Word count: 3,570 words

A/N: I'm sorry...this came out wayyyyy cheesier than I intended. But hey, I've been writing a lot of angst lately, I wanted a change of pace! This is the song they sing to. Namjoon posted it on his IG stories a while back 🙊

ALSO!!! Please don't be a silent reader! My inbox and DMs are open. Comment, reblog, scream at me, send me an emoji--whatever. It fuels me and motivates me to continue writing! 😘

[Namjoon] 6:05PM: Can’t wait until this album is mastered and goes through print. It was fun and all but…damn, I really miss you.

His text made you grin at your screen like an idiot.

He wasn’t kidding when he said he’d be busy. He was practically on lockdown finishing up loose ends on a couple of tracks and going through each soundwave with a fine-toothed comb.

That was how Namjoon was. He was always passionate about his work, and always wanted to constantly evolve. He loved art but was never one to be content with stagnation. He wasn’t going to be locked into four corners of a frame.

You admired that about him…but it also scared you in a way. In the back of your mind, you thought, maybe it took him a while to come around to this agreement because he didn’t want to be tied down to begin with.

It was a daunting and disappointing thought but you brush it aside when his follow-up text comes in.

[Namjoon] 6:07PM: What do you think about a quiet night-in at my place? I’ll order dinner and we can just hang out. No more boners, I promise 😇

That elicited a laugh from you. Truthfully, you didn’t mind it but you had to stick to your guns.

[You] 6:08PM: 😋 Sounds good, I can’t wait! Missed you, too.

[Namjoon] 6:10PM: I also got a new firepit installed on my balcony–totally safe, BTW. No open flame! I just push a button 😅

You laughed again.

[You] 6:10PM: Oohh cozy!

[Namjoon] 6:11PM: It is! I also got some new furniture and a blanket with our names on it.😏

[You] 6:11PM: Sounds romantic…

[Namjoon] 6:11PM: That’s the goal 😘 I’ll see you in two days.

******

“Fuck…” you croaked after coughing up icky, yellow-green mucus into the sink. This was bad, you thought. Namjoon was supposed to pick you up tonight and you woke up this morning feeling all foggy.

Yesterday, you thought the scratchy throat was brought on by allergies. You took an antihistamine before bed to stave it off. But now, you were all congested, looking like death after mere hours.

“Hey, are you okay in there?” Lani asks out of concern from the other side of the bathroom door.

You open it to greet her and she looks horrified when she sees your bloodshot eyes, pale skin and overall disheveled appearance.

“Really? It’s that bad?”

“I mean…” The look of hesitation on her face all but confirmed it. 

“Damn,” you groaned. “I was really looking forward to this date, too.”

Immediately, she tries to sound consoling. “You know what? I’m sure he’ll understand. It’s that time of the year, everyone’s getting sick.” 

Sure, she made a fair point. She was a nurse at a hospital and she knew all too well that this year’s flu season has been particularly brutal. You were just glad that you didn’t feel bad enough to require hospital admission.

But for some reason, that thought wasn’t comforting enough. “It’s been over three weeks and I really miss him,” you whined.

Back then, you’d go long stretches without seeing Namjoon and it wasn’t a big deal. You just shrugged your shoulders and thought you’d catch each other again ‘next time.’

Lani puckered her lips comically and glanced below your waist. “Guess you’re regretting that 5-date rule right about now, huh?”

You rolled your eyes at her. “Shut up,” you dismissed her before walking past her to go back to your room.

“Girl, who cares? It’s not like you had a contract or whatever. Nobody’s taking you to court if you break your rule–”

“Yes, but I know it! And Namjoon knows it! And…”

“Okay, okay, I’m only teasing,” she backed off. “Want me to make you some chicken noodle soup before I take a nap?” Lani had been picking up extra shifts in the evenings since they had been short-staffed at the hospital.

While soup sounded good, the concept of sinking yourself back under your covers seemed more appealing.

“Nah, you go and sleep. I’ll order from the food app or something. I just had a little bit of yogurt before I took my cold medicine.”

“Alright. Just set an alarm every 3.5 hours, if you want to stay on top of it,” she yawns.

******

“Joon, I can’t tonight…”

Delete.

“I woke up sick, can we resche–”

Delete.

“Ugh, why is this so hard? Just be straight with him,” you say to yourself before finally typing up a text to Namjoon.

You checked your watch again. Around this time, he was on a plane coming back from a schedule. You couldn’t afford to wait a few more hours until he landed because he’d be coming straight from the airport to your place.

[You] 10:15AM: I know that we were really looking forward to tonight but I just came down with the flu. I feel like crap and I don’t want to get you sick. Can we do a raincheck in a few days?

You send it off and sink back into your blankets to doze off.

******

Somewhere between naps, you are awakened by the smell of food. You checked your watch for the time–it was too late for lunch and still early for dinner. You figured Lani ended up making you soup…she was such a saint. You didn’t deserve her love! 

Next, you reached for your phone to check for calls. There were a couple of ‘hope you feel better’ emails from your team and a voicemail from Jia saying that she could drop off stuff at your door if you ever needed anything.

Oddly, there was nothing from Namjoon even though the notification below the text that you sent to him indicated that he read it over two hours ago.

You felt crestfallen that he didn’t even acknowledge it. You wanted to send a follow-up text to ask about his trip but thought you’d go and have a couple of bites to eat so you could take your next dose of cold medicine. 

You wandered out into the kitchen, fully expecting to catch Lani as she headed out the door for work. 

Your coughing announced your presence. “That smells good. Are you…" You are stopped dead in your tracks. "Joon?” 

He turned around with the biggest grin on his face. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

“W-wait, what are you…I thought–” You stuttered.

“You think you can get rid of me that easily?” He chuckled.

You laughed hoarsely. “I wasn’t trying to get rid of you. As you can see,” you open up your arms, as if presenting yourself to him, “I don’t look so hot right now.”

He took two strides and rounded the kitchen counter to get to you. “Do you think I care about that? I was looking forward to spending time with you and I wanted to do everything I could to make that happen.”

You wanted to swoon on the spot…until you noticed that he wasn’t wearing a face mask.

“But wait…you’ll get sick?”

He laughed softly, curling his arms around your waist. “I’ll be fine, baby. The whole group just got over a virus–and it missed me!”

You scoffed. “Oh, right–and with my luck, it’ll be me giving it to you.”

He shook his head, giving your hips a light squeeze. “You won’t. Aren’t you glad to see me?” He pouted his lips.

His subtle gesture made your belly flutter and your cheeks warm up. Glad to know that everything was still in good working order, you thought.

You gave a small smile. “Yes, of course.”

He flashed his dimple before kissing your forehead.

Taking your hand to urge you towards the kitchen, he says, “C’mon, I brought something that I thought might help you feel better.”

You took two steps before, realization sank in. “Hold on–how did you get in? Is Lani still here?” You’d been asleep for hours.

“No but I called her and,” he hesitates for a beat, “I…kind of… met her…at her workplace to borrow her keys?” He drags out slowly.

You eyed him suspiciously.

“She was cool with it and all she asked me to do was leave the key up on the lip of the doorframe so she could get in tomorrow morning.”

With a soft sigh, you nodded, appreciating the effort. Your eyes suddenly shift towards the kitchen, remembering what brought you out here in the first place. “D-did you cook?” These were words you never thought you’d ask him.

He threw his head back and let out a hearty laugh. “I wish but I don’t think you or Lani would forgive me if I burned your place down. I ordered some takeout–” He says, walking over to the counter, the bags finally coming into view. “I thought you might like some chicken pho?”

You couldn’t deny, that sounded amazing.

Sensing your acquiescence, he urges you to sit at the breakfast bar while he pours soup and noodles into bowls for both of you.

You asked if you could sit on the couch instead since you were feeling woozy and your warm throw blanket was calling your name. 

“Wherever you feel comfortable,” he replies. “I got some imperial rolls, too–I remembered that you liked them.”

“I do.” You smiled appreciatively at his thoughtfulness.

It’s been years since you both went out for good Vietnamese food. You registered the familiar green takeout bags on the counter. To most people, it looked like generic to-go bags but you recognize them coming from the hole-in-the-wall place that you and Namjoon used to go to.

After settling comfortably on the couch, he comes around, bowls in both hands and sets them on the coffee table in front of you. He turns back around to bring the pho add-ins along with the deep-fried eggrolls.

He takes the spot next to you and hands you a pair of chopsticks, which you accept. While he busies himself with the basil and lime, you couldn’t help but stare at him.

He turned his head in your direction. “You want some sriracha–what? Why are you staring?” he chuckled in curiosity.

“Nothing, I just…” at a loss for words, you just smiled, “Thank you.”

He gazed at you for a few seconds before responding, “You’re welcome. C’mon, eat up.”

******

After dinner, you tidied up together. Namjoon had music playing on your bluetooth speaker. As you reach for the rinsed dish that he held out for you to put on the rack to dry, he surprises you by grabbing your hand instead and deftly setting the bowl on the counter. A couple of pushes of a button on his phone with his free hand, he turned up the song’s volume.

Catching you around the waist, he pulls you close to him into a dance. You giggle as he sings along to the song that you recognize.

You can't disguise all the pounding of your heart, yeah I see your eyes And you can't hide

You laugh when he hits the falsetto but he’s too into it to stop.

Start to make sense and quit playing These love games… Tell me what you're gonna do, yeah

You join him when the chorus hits, dancing along to the beat. When the music dropped for the bridge, he pulls away slightly and then squints his eyes at you. He enunciates every word emphatically.

I just want to know one thing Will you be with me?

Hearing the words in his rich baritone made you catch your lower lip with your teeth. You grinned and matched his enthusiasm when you sang the rest of the words to him.

Here comes my darlin’ Here comes romance Here comes my lovin’, please honey will you dance

You pull him back closer to you, grinding against his body as the music swells again.

Then, he threw his head back dramatically to sing the chorus, “Quit breaking my heaaaaartttt…” You both burst out laughing as his voice cracks at the note that was clearly out of his vocal range.

When you calmed down, you looked up into his face. He was watching you with dark, glittering eyes.

“I love hearing you laugh like that,” he said, and you knew he wanted treasured memories like that between you. “It makes me think that I’m doing something right.”

“You are,” you assured him, even as your throat tightened at the sight of his yearning.

“I want to be that person who always puts a smile on your face.”

Slowly, you bring your hand up to cup his nape. “You already do.” With that, you pulled his mouth down to yours. As your lips touched, he hugged you so tightly your feet lifted off the floor.

This relationship may not have started out for the right reasons. You were both young and impulsive back then. 

But now, you were both trying hard to better yourselves for each other. Here was a man who wanted you both to work as desperately as you did. You were finally on the same page.

******

“The girl did it,” you blurted out decisively. 

Namjoon’s fingertips paused from drawing circles around your abdomen. “What? No way!”

You were sprawled lengthwise on the couch, watching Forensic Files. He was spooned behind you, his chin on your shoulder and his legs tangled with yours.

“I’m telling you…classic sociopath,” you told him matter-of-factly.

He scoffed. “I think it was the grandma.”

You gasped, eyes widening in shock. “Oh my god!” You tilted your head to look back at him. “She’s clearly only protecting her granddaughter!”

He grinned and smacked a kiss on your cheek. “Wanna bet on who’s right?”

You snorted. “Sorry, I’m not a gambler.”

“Aw, come on…” He rose up on his elbow to look down at you.

You tutted. “Nope! Besides, I know I’m right. I’ve seen enough of these shows to figure out a pattern.”

As you scooted closer to him, you felt his crotch against the curve of your bottom. He wasn’t hard, but that didn’t stop him from gaining your attention. Curiously, you reached behind you and cupped him.

He arched an eyebrow at you. “Is there anything we can do for you?”

You laughed as you withdrew your hand. “I’m just checking to see if everything is still in its place. You’ve been on your best behavior considering we’re in a tricky position.”

“Maybe because I don’t want to push you too far and scare you off.” Namjoon’s eyes glittered from the light of the TV screen.

“How considerate of you.”

He nuzzled his nose against your temple. “I’m willing to wait however long. Five, ten, twenty dates…whatever you want.”

You wriggled your body to face him. “What about what you want?”

“I thought I made it clear last time that I only wanted you?”

You try to stifle a smile but are spectacularly failing at it. “What if I decided to scrap our no-sex agreement,” you whispered. Your pointer and middle fingers did a ‘walking’ motion up on his chest. “Would you think I was being too easy?”

He watched your fingers then shifted his eyes back to look into yours. “I’d be too busy thinking how lucky I was to have the privilege.” He traced your eyebrow with the tip of his finger.

You seriously considered it. Lani was right, it wasn’t like breaking your agreement would have any legal repercussions. You were both adults!

You cleared your throat in an attempt to strengthen your resolve. “Could we settle with a makeout session for the time being?”

“Make out? What are we, in junior high?” His head fell back and he laughed, his chest vibrating against you. It was a husky, deep tone, your toes curled at the sound of it. 

You pushed at his shoulder. “Come on! Nobody makes out anymore. Everyone just wants to get right into fucking. Don’t you miss that feeling of being so into each other but aren’t quite ready to go all the way yet?”

He slow-blinks at you, wondering what point you were trying to make.

“You know, when I was in the 8th grade, there was this boy—“

“I’m going to need to stop you right there,” he cuts you off. “I really do not want to think about other people kissing you.”

You purse your lips and apologize. “I’m sorry…” Your hands crept under his shirt, gliding over his warm skin. Your lips moved against his jawline. “So…does that mean that you don’t want to suck face?”

“Baby, I’ll suck on any part of your body I can get my mouth on,” he answers point-blank.

“Why don’t we start here for now,” You tap your finger against your lips and he takes them, sealing his mouth softly over yours. His tongue traced the seam, then dipped inside, licking and teasing.

You burrowed into him, moaning when he shifted to lie half over you. 

Your hands slid up and down his back, your leg lifting to hook over his hip. You caught his lower lip between your teeth and licked the curve with the tip of your tongue.

The low growl he let out made you wet.

Your back arched as his hand slid underneath the hem of your hoodie and captured your bare breast, rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

“Are you sure you didn’t plan this,” he murmured. He kissed his way to your temple, and then buried his nose in your hair. “You’re making it really hard to last through two more dates.”

You pull away from him briefly. “Listen–I had no idea that you were coming over, okay,” you argued. “I didn’t know I had to be in proper underwear around you.”

He chuckled at your defensiveness. “I’m kidding,” he plants a quick kiss on your lips. “Can we just continue making out?”

You narrowed your eyes playfully at him. “You’re lucky, you’re cute.” You pushed past his joggers to squeeze his butt. The heat of his skin and his natural scent was a heady mix for you. It made you feel drunk with lust and need.

His mouth covered yours and you fisted at his hair, urging him closer to you with your arms and legs wrapped around him.

“I want you so much,” he rasped in between kisses.

You moaned in agreement, your mouth moving feverishly against his.

Namjoon held you with one hand at your nape and the other at your waist. Settling over you, he aligned himself against you and rolled his hips to your center.

“Mm, that felt so good,” you groaned, nails digging into his flesh while your insides clenched.

“Imagine how much better it would feel inside you,” he purred.

You nipped at his lower lip, giggling. “Are you trying to convince me to go all the way?”

“I can slide right in,” He sucked gently on your throat, making your core tremble hungrily. “You don’t even have to do anything. You can just lay back and watch me do all the work.”

It was incredibly tempting. He was rock-hard and you were primed and ready for him. All he needed to do was hook his finger to your leggings’ waistband.

You playfully puckered your lips and arched an eyebrow at him. “Hmm…I don’t know. I’m not that kind of girl anymore.”

His hand squeezed your hip bone, eliciting a light squeal from you.

Brushing his mouth over yours, he whispered, “If you don’t like it once it’s in you, I promise I’ll pull right out.”

You scrunch your face humorously at him. “Do people still fall for that line?”

He stared back at you in all seriousness. “You know I’d never feed you lines. I mean every word.”

You gripped the curves of his butt and rocked up against him, making him purr in excitement. Reveling in his playfulness, you teased, “And do you say that to all of the girls?”

His eyebrows knitted. “What other girls?”

“Oh, you know…” you sighed, “You’re Kim Namjoon, international idol. All these women, screaming for you to walk into their waiting arms.”

“You say that, and yet, I’m here in yours,” he lifted his head, his fingertips brushed the hair from your temple, “...where I belong.”

His words hit you like a freight train. You swallowed hard and whispered, “Fuck, what a line! Fine, go ahead and put it in.”

He pressed his forehead against yours, his breathy laugh warming your cheeks. “It’s unbelievable how crazy I am about you.”

You smiled back. “Well, believe it, because I am, too.”

You spent the rest of the night kissing and groping each other like horny teenagers but never went all the way. There was just something thrilling about that youthful, almost forbidden intimacy.

Hours later, you fell asleep in each other’s arms on your bed. You woke the next morning to the sound of his phone going off—work was calling and he had to leave.

As he prepares to head out, he tucks you back securely under your covers, and plants a kiss on your forehead.

When he pulls away, you utter, “Hmmm...I love you,” in the midst of your cold medicine-induced haze.

Before he could respond, you drowsily rolled over onto your side and fell back to sleep. You would wake up nearly an hour later, completely unaware of your words or whether he said anything back.

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[pokememes]

I have thoughts on ttpd

And I don’t know where else to share them without my criticisms and qualms being written off as blind hatred so here goes

Quantity over quality was definitely the motto with this one. She said at one of the eras shows that this album was when she needed writing more than ever. That doesn’t however, mean that everything she wrote needed to be on this album. Part of what makes an album good is an artists ability to edit their songs into a cohesive work.

Going off of that last point: I blame the vault tracks. Swift and her team saw how much people loved the vault tracks and went overboard with the concept of “give the people more.” The vault tracks worked so well because they felt like a bonus. When the whole album feels like “vault tracks” it loses some of the allure.

The concept is pretty weak overall. The aesthetic that was used to market the album only fits about half of the songs. I was hoping for literary references beyond just name dropping various poets and artists but so far Cassandra is the closest that I can recall that actually references poetry. I’m sure there’s some connections I’m missing so please enlighten me, (my academic background is in art history, not literature).

I feel like conceptually there are at least two albums here. The first is the actual ttpd concept of poetic sad songs, and then there’s a second set of songs that feel much more modern and feel like they belong on a different album (Florida!!!, down bad, imgonnagetyouback, etc.). I wish she would’ve taken the double album concept all the way and grouped the songs into more cohesive narratives.

Imgonnagetyouback is the exact same idea as get him back! by Olivia Rodrigo. I just feel like there’s some irony there because didn’t Taylor sue Olivia for something similar (I don’t know the ins and outs of that whole situation so forgive me if I’m missing some nuance)? Not that two people can’t write about the same thing but something about these two songs in particular seems too similar. They don’t sound the same but specifically the lines “key his car… make him lunch” in Rodrigo’s and “be your wife … smash up your bike” in Swift’s are the exact same “domestic tasks/destroy vehicle” dichotomy. Idk man something isn’t quite right about the whole thing to me.

A lot of the lyrics do not fit the melodies AT ALL. so many lines feel oddly paced, either stretched out where they shouldn’t be or too many words crammed in. The melody should fit the lyrics and it’s just not happening in this album as a whole. So many of the lyrics are just too wordy and awkward. Poetry doesn’t need to be long to be good.

Some of the lyrics are just so bad that they take me out of the song. I’m sure anyone that’s read this far can think of a few instances that made them pause. Hearing the words “finance guy” in a song was absolutely jarring.

Overall I just feel like it’s a poor representation of her abilities. She’s shown that she can write better. Her other albums were better sonically. There’s just nothing about this that is phenomenal. Very few memorable songs. No standout radio hits. It’s not the worst album ever made but it’s just so mediocre.

This album was made for a specific type of fan; someone who is up to date on her personal life and will listen to find Easter eggs, someone who will buy all of the vinyls just to complete their collection, someone who will love these songs just because they are Taylor Swift songs. I think every fan can find a few songs they like but I’d be shocked if anyone could genuinely say that they enjoy every song on this album, or that they think this album is one of Taylor’s better releases.

[chuuuvi]

Alright I’ve avoided saying anything about the new Taylor album but I think I’ve spent enough time thinking about it now to give my opinion. As a lifelong fan of her music TTPD has been the weirdest experience of any album of hers for me.

First listen was just basic front to back while doing some nonograms and my immediate thought was that this is the worst thing she’s ever released. Like I for real had to take a break to go listen to some 1989 to double check that I don’t just dislike her music as a whole now. (False alarm 1989 is still one of my favorite albums of all time). I spent some time trying to figure out what wasn’t working for me. Most obvious was that the songs feel really dull and samey? They aren’t fun pop songs but they also aren’t the beautiful folksy ballads of folklore/evermore. They felt like they went on forever but also didn’t go anywhere.

All that to say that I was really fucking bored. Thats not enough to make me give up on an album though. I made that mistake with folklore and I wasn’t about to do it again. (I found folklore kind of dull at first listen and just wrote it off as “not for me” before coming back months later and finding a real appreciation for it) What was more concerning is the writing though. I had already seen people joking about the lyrics on this album before I listened and yeah it’s not great. It feels at times like someone doing a parody of Taylor Swift’s writing style. Some of these lyrics are undeniably cringe and thats coming from someone who can withstand a lot of cringe. It’s truly bizarre to listen to because I do think she’s a talented songwriter and she has proved that in past projects but it rarely shines through here.

I was feeling really negative about this album and overall just kind of bummed out that we got a new album from literally my most listened to artist of all time and I didn’t enjoy it with the exception of like 3 songs: Down Bad, Clara Bow, and, the immediate standout for me, I Look In People’s Windows. Heres where things take a turn though. I get a call from my dad (shout out to him! He’s the best ever and I love him) and he was telling me that he listened to the album and wanted to share our thoughts. In case you’re interested his favorites are Fortnight and So High School. I felt kind of bad because I wanted to be excited but I couldn’t give him more than lukewarm opinions on anything.

He then asked me if I could explain to him what certain songs were about with my swiftie knowledge and that kind of perked me up because I realized that I hadn’t done an in depth look into the lyrics yet. I had only listened to it very passively. I basically told him that and said I’d get on it and I could answer any questions he had the next time he called. So with that I went headfirst into listen number 2! I was ready to go with genius lyrics open, taking notes, checking twitter and tumblr and googling stuff. I built a case for my interpretation of every song to present to my dad. And the thing is I was having an absolute blast. It was a complete turnaround from my depressing first listen. I felt like a detective and I spent almost all night on this. I went to work the next day on like 4 hours of sleep but I felt nothing but pure joy and excitement.

I had to ask myself though.. is this a good way to engage with music? Is it possible to say you enjoyed a piece of art if you can only find that enjoyment through picking apart the personal life of the artist? The fun I’m getting from this isn’t the fun I feel when listening to good music it’s the fun I feel from watching reality tv. I mean yes I also have felt the same satisfaction from other Taylor Swift albums but it’s a secondary feeling. Like for example my favorite song of hers is All Too Well 10 Minute Version. I think that song being autobiographical gives it a lot of power but I think it would still be a masterpiece if the whole story was entirely unrelated to Taylor’s real personal life. On the other hand I think most of the songs The Tortured Poets Department would be entirely uninteresting to me if it wasn’t for the clues into her personal life and feelings.

And that brings us to my subsequent listens. This has just been me listening to it in my regular life. In the car, at work when I was away from the counter doing some pricing, at home doing laundry, etc. I haven’t been able to feel the joy I felt during my deep dive into the lyrics again but I also haven’t felt the misery of my first listen either. Theres still more skips than the average TS album but a lot of the songs have grown on me especially after going in depth into the lyrics. The cringe lyrics are immediately obvious but after going line by line like I did I realized that theres still plenty of lyrics that feel like the old Taylor Swift I’ve loved for so long. After all the emotional ups and downs I’ve landed at a fairly neutral position. It’s not a very good album as a whole but I’ve made my peace with that. It’s not as bad as some people are saying it is either. In the end I’m moving my favorites to a playlist and the rest I will not be going out of my way to listen to again. If you are considering listening to TTPD and haven’t yet.. you would probably have a better time with one of her other albums instead. I’d recommend 1989!

[icymusicreviews]

Cigarettes After Sex - Self Titled

Much like TV Girl I have been hearing a lot about the band Cigarettes After Sex. I have been curious for quite some time now, but today I will finally determine if all of the hype is warranted. So to find this out, I will be diving into their self titled album from 2017. 

First look is the album cover. There isn’t much to it, its quite literally just a black album with white lettering. To be fair, I don’t dislike covers like this, its a very, “You have to listen to find out” vibe. But I digress. 

K. Starting off with a longer song, just over five minutes. I am a fan of longer songs, so this is a positive. I really do like the calm vibes of the instrumental. Throughout the song its quiet and chill. It kind of reminds me of the Neighbourhood. But I will say, I am pleasantly surprised by this song. Not because I was expecting it to be bad, its just not like what I would typically be interested in. But with that being said It’s a good song and I will be listening to it again. 8/10

Each Time You Fall In Love. This one is once again very chill and quiet. But it doesn’t differentiate itself too much from the previous song. I’m not as big of a fan of this one as the last one. However, I do get the storytelling of this one and It does earn some credit because of that. I personally love when a song can tell me a story. I do like the outro, even with its length it kind of makes you think back on the song. 6/10

Sunsetz. Straight away, im starting to notice a theme in their music with the overall vibe. But I will say I am a sucker for a good lead guitar and this I think has a pretty good guitar riff, its simple but it complements the song well. Again it also tells a story throughout the song, and i think overall its a very melancholic song, but in a good way. It does kind of piss me off with how they spelled “sunsets” but whatever. 7/10

Apocalypse. It didn’t go without notice that this is their most popular song. I can see why as well, its very pleasant. There isn’t anything super monumental I havent said about the other songs already, but there is also nothing negative I have to say about it. I will listen to this again in the future. 8/10

Flash. This one is slightly different in the sound. It also has good lyrics that are really catchy. I am not going to go too much into this song but this is my favorite so far 9/10

Sweet. The title of this song is very fitting, its a sweet song. Its a love song that I think is very nice. The lyrics are pretty simple and standard for a love song, but theyre still good. It isn’t my favorite song, its quite simple and pleasant. I don’t have much negative to say about the song 6/10

Opera House. This is a song about the duality of love, and the pain that comes with it, or at least that’s how I take it. I try to not get too into what songs are about because I can go on and on about it, but in this case its necessary for me to mention the meaning. Because I really love this song for its meaning, the duality of love and the poetic meaning that I take from it. It’s a longer song, but I do wish that there were more lyrics for the storytelling of it, but I also can behind  a song that has little to no lyrics so either way, I like it. 8/10

Truly. I don’t think it’s bad, but I can’t get over the fact that he’s singing in cursive. It’s very subtle that he is doing this, but its noticeable enough that I am finding it annoying. Other than that I think the song is fine, but its a minor thing that I cannot get over. 5/10

John Wayne. I like the storytelling aspect of the lyrics here, I also appreciate the lack of the subtle cursive singing. I am trying to not overthink the first lyric because I think I misunderstood it so I will not be counting that against the song. Because I don’t think there was anything weird meant by the lyrics here. Overall, I like it. 7/10

Young & Dumb. So I didn’t want to like this song as much as i do, the lyrics are weird but also in a very good way? Its hard for me to explain but I think its good. The cursive is back and that didn’t go unnoticed, so it does lose points for that, but I do actually like this one. I think It was a good way to end an album. 8/10

So overall I would give this album a 7/10

Mathematically it gets a 7.2 This album is different from what I typically listen to, it is no secret that I’m a sucker for rowdy, guitar heavy rock songs. But I also really love a good story being told through lyrics, and this is what this album excelled in. I think that it is a pretty good album with some songs that i will be adding to my playlists. I did notice the sexual themes throughout, but I was expecting that from a band called cigarettes after sex. I think that they are a calm and quiet band, but overall their self titled album was alright. I do see why people like them and speak so highly of them.

Completed March 12th 2024

[guangchuans]

hey adam what did you think of the metamorph concert? oh funny you should ask! here :3

hi guys. i’ll pretend i know staging directing and anything more about music than “i like sounds” here 👍

first, critique:

the concert felt and was rather short. i understand why, but it was still sad to had it end so soon lol

my personal opinion here: i wish we got more older songs other than the iconic ones, but again, this is the guilty album concert, so i understand

he really did not do well on “not over you” and i’m glad he acknowledged it too, not just moving past a subpar performance

“want” also wasn’t the nicest imo? he sang that weirdly low, or at least that’s what i heard

maybe again, just my audio, but it really didn’t sound as if he actually Sung “advice” lol

this one i’ve said before but honestly, even taemin can’t do “move” now - the dance i mean. maybe it was the clothing here though bc on the show with akmu it was great. but yeah the red cloth outfit didn’t pair well with “move” imo and made the key hip movement look messy

this is not about taemin; the beyond live style of concert kind of deprived us of actual cinematography of it :/ like tell me why strings and black rose looked so much better on random fancams from 7 rows behind than… on the actual screen lol

general commentary:

he was so nervous. really. like i get why, again, i understand it all, and even that didn’t stop him from delivering some absolutely delicious stages, but ohhh brother he was nervous

why was the audience so. dead. like why did you hype up my man when he did good huh. i have to do everything in this house myself next time i’ll be the hype man nr 1

this is my lukewarm take: i didn’t enjoy the “criminal” rock version that much. it was very boring? the chord progression of the guitar sounded too much like a sample without much twist, and there were better ways to incorporate rock into that song imo

i think overall the ratio of lip sync to backing track to no backing track was reasonable and i do like that he didn’t try to lip sync much, just letting everyone see “yeah this is playback”

and now <3 praise and what i enjoyed <3

even though i really don’t like “the rizzness”, that opening was fucking insane. imagine starting a concert while hanging upside down. and singing while it. wow!

all the ment segments were so precious. it was clear he missed the audience for his solo stuff too. i know he’s been touring with shinee for half a year now and all but i imagine it’s different to know that these people came here only for you, you know? the interactions were cute and it was just… well it’s good to see the both sides of lee taemin :)

as i mentioned, the ratio of supported vocals to raw vocals was reasonable, but when he did actually sing… oh lee taemin. this is obviously a biased opinion because i genuinely love his voice, it was what made me fall in love with him as an artist in the first place. notable mentions of vocals imo:

“heaven” was perfectly delivered and a feast as always. the bridge in “heaven” is probably my top 5 taemin bridges, so it’s not surprising, but the energy on the stage while he performs that is So Good. MWAH

“light” was fun! i was dancing along, the playing with the dancers choreo is entertaining to watch and it’s a good time over all

after the flop of “not over you” he payed back with both “night away” and “blue” to me. “night away” especially, it felt so warm and so… just lovely. he nailed that

even though i don’t particularly enjoy “black rose” i can’t deny, it was so good. the choreo is always captivating and he sung it well

“door” … where do i even start. “door” is one of my favourite taemin songs of all time, and to see it executed in such a bold way was absolutely incredible and so enthralling, i felt enchanted listening to each new note and line. genuinely an amazing experience

some miscellaneous thoughts that i don’t know where to place:

i loved “impressionable,” the energy was so right for it, especially, well the D2 unzipped pants :)

the “strings” choreo is so sensual and sexy and yet in this classic taemin style of subtlety about it, it’s so nice to watch, to see him get lost in the pain/pleasure the song talks about. and there is almost, a grown aspect to it now, the aspect of like fully owning his body and what he does with it. very nice

“she loves me she loves me not” was cute, the choreography was very simple but still nice to look at, and i loved the energy on stage of it. the girl gang TM smiling and all :) good time!

rearrangements/special concert versions of songs:

as i mentioned above, i have lukewarm feelings about “criminal,” i didn’t dislike it, but it could have been better

LOVED the whole “danger” stage so much as well as “famous,” to me they’re like two sides of the same coin tbh. and something about both of them being in the same section as want mmm…

i wish i didn’t have to talk about “guilty” but i think i have to mention “guilty” too. the staging was absolutely gorgeous, the orchestral pieces at the beginning and before the bridge, the change in choreo of the dancers as if ensnaring him… it was delicious! such a good stage!

a separate section for the encore because i feel like it deserves it:

i don’t think it’s too untoward to think of jonghyun’s passing when it came to the date of the concert. i saw a few other mentions of it too, so i know i’m not alone in this belief. and this is not to suggest it was somehow planned this way with this date in mind, but rather, soemthing to just keep in the back of your head, i guess?

the whole encore was magical. opening the concert back up with “idea”, the orchestral version nonetheless, and staging that mixed both the hell and heaven aspects of the concept (light blue iridescent suit + dark stage lighting and fire) was delicious to witness and a great way to get the energy in the audience back up again

i don’t think i can talk much about what “pansy” means to me as a song without crying. maybe it’s stupid, because that’s exactly what the song was meant to do, but the fact that taemin co-wrote it too just… makes it so special :( and to know what… the sentiment of the song is probably even doubled now, to know that he came back from the enlistment, because so many fans kept loving him and his music and we stayed by his side even when he wasn’t there. this is just me being sappy i know but to hear “pansy” again made my heart sing

“i think it’s love” is a beautiful song and he sung it beautifully. it was a great encore choice, just an overall masterpiece

finishing the concert with “identity” of all his songs, on a concert named metamorph after the idea of metamorphosis, the imagery of cocoons and blooming and growth seen throughout the concert, with, once again, the significance of the date… it meant so much. it means so much. it was genuinely a moving performance, one that hooks you in and keeps you there, not letting you go. the emotion the execution the meaning behind it all… it just felt right, for that song to close the concert

CLOSING THOUGHTS

i’ve seen every taemin concert, save for the beyond live one in 2021, and this one fits into the theme beautifully. it’s a comeback, it’s a reminder that he’s still here, that he is Back, and he is back for good! as he said in one fan sign, this will go on for as long as he wants to and he will be the one to put the stop to it. i’m grateful for everything taemin did musically this year and i can’t wait to see him grow even more, as an artist and as a person. love you! if anyone read this whole thing leave me an 🍎 emoji in the replies hah <3

[breebers]

AOTV Thoughts

Some thoughts on “All Of Those Voices” after last night’s screening. TLDR - I remain very fond of Louis , but I did not think this was a good documentary. I’m a new pandemic-era fan and just a lurker so no one will see this - it’s just to get thoughts out of my system (harhar).

My overall impression leaving the theatre was that the film was cliche, disjointed, and unsettlingly superficial considering the seriousness of the topics it tried to address. It had moments of charm - Oli was an unexpected highlight - but they felt like little treats. It didn’t say or do anything new for serious fans, just recycled narratives and footage we have mostly seen before. And because of the disjointedness, I think the general public would find it confusing. I don’t understand the audience, purpose, or timing for the release.

Performance Footage

The thing I found most confusing was the relative absence of great performance footage. Giving the timing of the doc’s release, I’d thought it was going to be a vehicle to sell concert tickets. But there’s actually relatively little footage of Louis singing for more than a few seconds at a time. And the hero moments that stuck out most, at least to me, were Little Black Dress and Night Changes (which is a bit ironic given the focus on him finding his solo voice), and COACOAC.

I assume this has something to do with Louis’ changing feelings about Walls, and the fact that he doesn’t really feel like it represents him as well as FITF, as he’s expressed in interviews. It’s disappointing, since that’s what I was looking forward to most! I thought they’d filmed the shows for the FITF release, but none of that made the movie either. :( Honestly, the IG reels throughout tour did a better job of making me want to go to a show.

Louis As Songwriter

I loved the moment where Louis talked about being proud of his 1D songwriting credits, but unfortunately that idea didn’t carry through to the rest of the movie.

Nothing about the process of writing Walls, which is maybe because his old narrative no longer works. But surprisingly very little about the writing of FITF either. No FITF songs mentioned by name other than BTM, which was only in a text overlay. Nothing about what the songs or the album mean to him, or even about the creative and collaborative process aside from when it was written logistically. He doesn’t even say “Faith In The Future” until the end credits, I think?

We got so much more on Louis as a songwriter in the album promo interviews - the doc is still very heavily focused on his anxiety around vocal performance, esp. with all the Helene. Which is interesting, of course, just a bit jarring given what he says about writing for 1D and what we’ve heard him say elsewhere.

On Loss and Grief

I have an enormous amount of empathy for what Louis and his family have gone through, and I truly admire his resilience. I found the deep love Louis has for his family and this part of his story moving, of course, but I also found it somewhat disconnected. Resilience is a useful trait, and moving on is healthy, but the impression from the movie is that that just happened by sheer force of will. And maybe it did, that seems very British! But I would have liked to have seen more about how Louis processed his grief, the support he received from people around him, whether it affected his songwriting and approach to his career. Structurally, lumping together the 1D breakup, deaths in his family and COVID as a series of obstacles to be overcome through perseverance alone just felt like it was a likely oversimplification.

On COVID

Again, this too felt like an obstacle identified and then not followed up with. I was really surprised that there wasn’t later discussion by Louis, the band or the fans interviewed that part of the magic of tour was being able to come together in-person again after lockdowns. This was certainly part of the joy for me as I watched lives all tour (my local show was maybe the only one that got cancelled and stayed cancelled.)

Fan Representation

This was very much my academic area in another life, so I could go for ages. But in short, I did appreciate that this was a much more positive representation of female-dominated fandom than we normally see. It was respectful and it celebrated fans and mostly took them seriously.

But it had a pretty narrow focus on a certain type of fan. Given the things Louis has said about his relationship with his fans elsewhere, I expected a deeper and more diverse look. I would have liked to hear from fans about what Louis’ music means to them, about growing up alongside him, about fan projects and communities and the experience of live music after years locked away. Instead it was just camping and getting as close to him as possible. (Props to the fan who wrote the essay to convince their mom to let them camp though - I used to use the same tactic!)

I get that it would be a lot of work to take a really deep look at fandom - and it would be tough to dodge the beautiful rainbow elephant in the room - but I think it was possible to do a bit more. Even just along the lines of what Louis often says in interviews.

Fatherhood

I’m agnostic about BBG. But even setting that aside, I was uncomfortable with this particular narrative thread. My own issues are obviously part of that - I was raised almost entirely by my mom, with an absent father who complained about not seeing enough of me and my siblings but showed no inclination towards actual parenting. It is very easy to seem like a good father flying a kite on a beach or goofing around backstage at your concert. It is much harder to actually do the work of raising a child.

The way the fatherhood narrative popped out of nowhere - you would think the child just materialized from thin air the way it’s framed - was very uncomfortable. The way the sharp contrast to the closeness Louis described with his mother who had an unplanned baby (and perhaps similar distance with his biological dad) went unacknowledged. The way he claims to see his child at every opportunity, but the second half of the film focuses on him having a blast travelling the world on a tour bus and makes zero reference to that being challenging from a parenting perspective. The overall impression is just the total absence of responsibility, like children are fun accessories to help you feel good about yourself at 1/80 concerts.

There were lots of “aww”s at my screening, and I guess those folks just don’t have daddy issues? I can’t speak to Louis’ actual reality as a father (or lack thereof), but the way it was presented in the movie, at least, was such cheesy “rich, absent dad who doesn’t get it” cliche. It felt like a weird choice for someone who has said he wants to be so private.

The Voiceover

This is a very specific thing, but I really didn’t like the explanatory narrative Louis did throughout the whole thing, filmed in the studio. It felt scripted and impersonal and all at the same emotional level. I would have preferred if there had been multiple interviews over the course of the years they were filming, for some variety and progression over time. It really sucked a lot of the emotion and vulnerability out of things.

What Might’ve Been

The frustrating thing about all this is there are like, four different and very good possible documentaries within AOTV. But it feels like instead of doing any one thing properly, they tried to do everything and in a rush.

It could have been a beautiful film about his personal losses and how he’s recovered and grown from them, but it would have had to show more of that process.

It could have been a really fun tour documentary - the backstage stuff with the band was a highlight, but it would have had to included way more performance footage.

It could have been a cool narrative about the buildup to FITF but would have needed to include more of his songwriting process, what the songs mean, and the album release shows.

It could have been about his relationship with fans, but would have required more extensive and thoughtful interviews, with a more diverse group.

Instead, it tried to do all those things, but each at a surface level, and ended up unsatisfying and confusing. It felt like they didn’t have a plan going in, and sort of just scrambled stuff together as best they could with the footage they had. Which I think is a real shame because Louis deserves the chance to tell his story. I just don’t think this documentary did that effectively.

Why did this happen? Maybe it was his changing relationship to Walls and the awkwardness of overlapping albums. Maybe it was scheduling and deadlines and COVID. Maybe he can’t tell his full story and there’s just no way to disguise that without it feeling awkward. Maybe Louis just doesn’t understand his own fanbase very well, or he’s trying to change that fanbase. Maybe it’s just bad story structure. Whatever the reason, it’s a big missed opportunity and I am sad.

[mirrorballsss]

just finished the album (i skipped mean, innocent, ours, and superman so i didn’t listen to the whole thing BUT I WILL LISTEN TO THEM I JUST WANTED TO GET TO THE VAULTS SOME SACRIFICES HAD TO BE MADE OK)

it was AMAZING. i feel like some songs weren’t rly the same (cough cough mine and sparks fly) but i mean that’s what comes with the making of the tv it’s gonna be diff but the rest were SO GOOD they rly did like have the same energy and good level as the ogs. the vaults were STACKED AND AMAZING. my fav was DEFINITELY i can see you like THAT SONG?!!!?! literal chills screaming in my room. i also rly loved electric touch and timeless! overall, loved loved loved the tv of this album i think taylor did a great job 10/10 as always for speak now. if you want some more specific reviews on certain songs just ask and i will be happy to share!!

hope your listen was just as great as mine!!!

💜💜💜

[lonely-soul-02]

Actually I remember that Liam praised Council Skies so that’s wrong to think that they are too different musically. He didn’t like his disco/electronic music but that’s done anyway, Noel doesn’t write them anymore it seems. Liam also praised Chasing Yesterday and NGHFb, and said that he should’ve sing them. Liam hates all Noel’s solo music because he’s stuck in the past - for me looks like Noel’s propaganda and if you look into what Liam actually said - that’s mostly lies

In my original post, I said that Liam doesn't like Noel's solo career with a few exceptions. Of course there are exceptions.

Liam didn't praise Council Skies, he said there were two good tracks on it, one of them obviously being Dead To The World. He praised the 'direction' that Noel was going in aka away from WBTM, but said he still sounds dreary.

Of the first two albums he said there were some good songs and he probably meant those that were originally intended for him to sing. He hated the third album and EPs. For Trying To Find A World That's Been And Gone, he said "miserable arse, cheer up you billionaire" and called it 'depressing'. He called Pretty Boy a 'turdbuster'. lol The less said about the Joy Division cover the better. He regularly, often amusingly, reminds us that Noel's live shows are something to fall asleep to.

I mean, this is from TODAY, that's how regular he is. lol

He likes select songs but he doesn't like Noel's solo music on the whole. His views on this are well known. So it's not Noel's 'propaganda' when we can see for ourselves.

Liam has just got different taste to Noel. He prefers lots of guitars, massive riffs and hooks. He's not partial to bossa nova or a samba vibe aka Council Skies title track. Noel admitted that younger him would have 'struggled to like it', hence the symbolic difference between the two. Overall, it's not that their musical differences are that vast, genre wise; just that Liam likes it loud and straight up, and Noel likes it er...quieter these days. God knows I miss his solos and riffs too, but whaddya gonna do. 🤷‍♀️

[tomorrowxtogether]

HOW TOMORROW X TOGETHER TEMPTED US WITH YET ANOTHER EXCEPTIONAL COMEBACK

TOMORROW X TOGETHER talks with NYLON Manila about their latest release, dealing with temptation, growing up, and more.

From cats and dogs to bad boys, we’ve seen a lot from TOMORROW X TOGETHER on their journey from teens to young adults. Along the way, their music reflected this shift, highlighting both the good and the bad of being a youth of today. Now in their 20s, the boys are in that stage where they can all be considered young adults, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll accept the change so easily. This back and forth is the heart of the group’s latest comeback, one that showcases their maturity, all while never forgetting that youthful edge that has made them so loved.

GIMME GIMME MORE

Some of us have a fear of growing up while others embrace it. At the stage where our childhood ends and adulthood begins, not everyone feels ready to take on “adult” decisions and responsibilities. This concept is explored in TOMORROW X TOGETHER’s fifth EP—The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION. The title track, Sugar Rush Ride, which takes heavy cues from Peter Pan, sees Soobin, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai run away to Neverland and fight the “temptation” to postpone their growth. It’s a story continued in the remaining four songs on the EP, such as the vibey Happy Fools with Coi Leray and the Afrobeat-inspired Tinnitus (Wanna be a rock), arguably the standout of the album.

2022 was quite a year for TXT as they took home awards such as “Best Asia Act” from MTV Europe Music Awards and “Hero of the Year” from BandLab NME Awards. Furthermore, they were nominated “Favorite K-Pop Artist” at the American Music Awards and, among other achievements, embarked on a world tour. (The group is set for another tour later this year.)

But with all that, the boys were not complacent with their first comeback of 2023. From concept photos that shook the internet as the members showed the most skin they have to date to a special hotline MOA could call, the group put in the work. All their efforts were worth it given the praise they’ve received for the EP, as well as it becoming their biggest-selling album to date.

NYLON Manila had the chance to speak to TXT where they opened up about their new EP release, recent achievements, and more.

The lead single of the album, Sugar Rush Ride, is about a boy falling for the temptations of a devil. What is something tempting that you’ve been wanting to try?

SOOBIN: The term “temptation” best describes the challenges that youths face on a daily basis during the journey of growing up. The first track, Devil by the Window, or the lead single, Sugar Rush Ride, revolves around the plot of a boy exposed to the devil’s whisper to give in to such temptations.

TAEHYUN: I was really tempted to try out a different concept and style of music compared to our last album minisode 2: Thursday’s Child. I think I achieved it through our 5th EP, The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION.

Another track from The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION album, Devil by the Window, is your second original English-language track. What is the significance of having a track fully written and sung in English for this album?

TAEHYUN: Devil by the Window is TOMORROW X TOGETHER’s second original English-language track after Magic. Having a song completely written and sung in English is a great challenge for all of the members. We have to pay more attention to the pronunciation, the meaning of the lyrics, and the melody. Singing the song didn’t come naturally, but I loved the challenge!

SOOBIN: The track opens up the album, and I think it’s a great song that kick-starts the tale of growth that The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION narrates.

The overall storyline of this album is about the youth on the brink of adulthood. Do you ever find yourself never wanting to grow up?

YEONJUN: The album’s message greatly resonated with me, because I feel that way sometimes. There have been a lot of temptations that could potentially hinder my growth. For example, every morning, I am tempted to sleep more. So, our songs speak more about fighting off the temptations than giving in to the temptations that are so prevalent.

As the first K-Pop group to perform at LOLLAPALOOZA 2022 in Chicago, what’s your “first” goal you’d like to accomplish next?

BEOMGYU: I think we have a lot more ahead of us to achieve. I believe there are still many more opportunities that are waiting!

HUENINGKAI: My biggest goal is to make our fans happy through our music and performances. I think all of our members would agree.

Soobin, being the leader of a music group comes with rewards but responsibilities as well. Is being a leader a characteristic or a personality trait?

SOOBIN: There are so many qualities that are asked of a leader. Responsibility, kindness, generosity, charisma…the list goes on forever. It’s both a characteristic and personality trait to be a leader of the group TOMORROW X TOGETHER that I constantly have and will work on.

Yeonjun, you’ve participated in New York Fashion Week and are currently an MC for Inkigayo. Do you find any similarities in these interests that you pursue? If so, has this taught you to venture outside of your comfort zone frequently?

YEONJUN: I think the commonalities that all of the activities share are my aspirations to try new things. As with music, I constantly challenge myself to think outside the box. I have so many interests, too! I believe that these characteristics are reflected in my participation in fashion and music shows.

Beomgyu, your father influenced your decision to become a musician and you played guitar growing up. Can you recommend and explain some of your favorite songs to play on the guitar?

BEOMGYU: I grew up listening to ABBA music with my father. He greatly influenced me to love music and foster the environment. There are so many great songs to play on the guitar, but I recommend playing one of TOMORROW X TOGETHER’s songs!                                                                        

Taehyun, you love to play sports and exercise. Is there a specific workout routine(s) that helps with your endurance and strength as a musician?

TAEHYUN: I try to work out every day. I think the dedication to get up and work out itself helps me to become a better musician by teaching me how to endure situations and work through them until the very end.

Hueningkai, you being the maknae has its perks. How do you manage to stay young at heart as you get older?                                                                      

HUENINGKAI: I realize that time flies by when I watch the Crown music video nowadays. I’ve grown older since my debut, but I believe that staying young depends on the person’s mindset. After all, I’ll always be the maknae of TOMORROW X TOGETHER, and would be the cute youngest member to our fans, MOA!

What is the most embarrassing or funny username you’ve created for any website?

HUENINGKAI: It’s a really fun question, but I would like to keep this a secret! I think all of our members would agree.

What kind of food or drink have you been ordering lately for take-out?

YEONJUN: I’ve been into bacon salad these days. I think it’s a good combination of eating healthy but also treating myself.

As musicians, you continue to work hard which keeps your fans happy as well. Is there a way that fans can return that happiness to you?

HUENINGKAI: We can’t ask more from our fans, MOA. They support us through the ups and downs. I think it’s our fans’ continuous love and support that really motivates us. Our MOA is the best! We love you!

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

I read your review and listened to the album while getting ready this morning. Didn’t wake up for it, I’m done sacrificing my sleep for BTS, lol. I wasn’t expecting much because I knew it wasn’t for me, as I didn’t like Seven, 3D AND Too Much, lol basically none his collabs made it for me. Which, the album confirmed — both 3D and Seven are skips for me, I just can’t stand those songs.

That being said, I’m pleasantly surprised by some songs. I personally LOVE the sound of Standing Next To You, the 80s vibe! It’s a bit of deja vu as this trend has been going on for a while now but it’s right up my alley! Though I have to say it’s a tad bit too MJ-esque. I love MJ’s music, but it’s hard to make music inspired by him that isn’t too obviously inspired by him, if you know what I mean. But the sound suits my taste. That’s probably the song I’ll listen to the most. I could probably add Somebody and Shot Glass of Tears to my playlist as well. As for the rest, nothing special, maybe some songs will grow on me after some time?

The problem I have with the whole album is partly the sound — too generic, too mainstream pop, too much inspiration going all over the place, we’ve heard those songs over and over again, they’re well produced and catchy so it works but there’s not an ounce of novelty — partly the lyrics. I’m much more demanding for songs written in English (even though it’s not even my first language) than I am for songs in Korean. I’m not asking for poetry and deep meaning necessarily but it has to sound right, and in that department the album lacks a lot. For many tracks I noticed that, while I was warming up to the sound after a while, some lyrics just ended up toning down my enjoyment because they’re either way too basic or cringe (but I know I’m very picky when it comes to lyricism, I find so many songs so cringy, I’m probably just annoying) or they just don’t fit/sound right for me. I wouldn’t say it ruins the whole thing but I have to get myself accustomed and forced myself to not pay attention to it… For songs in Korean, I always read the translations and explanations about the songs but as my Korean is still pretty basic it doesn’t play a huge part when I listen to music in the language. I might become more demanding and hard to please as my level in the language increases (hopefully, I have to work hard).

Overall Golden is a bit better than I expected but not my cup of tea so while I’ve added a few songs to my playlist I probably won’t listen to the whole album a lot. Along with Layover, it’s the weakest in chapter 2 for me. But I’m impressed by Jungkook’s vocals, he really did challenge himself and worked on new techniques. I might not like the way he sings on several tracks but I can hear he worked hard on it. I love Jungkook so much, I feel a bad for being too harsh on him. And I appreciate his sincerity while talking about Golden, admitting that it was just not the right moment for a personal album, that he just went with the flow. I might not like the direction he took but at least he’s being honest about it. [How the fuck does it relate to his "golden moments" though? Hybe really just writes whatever for the album descriptions…]

Finally, about the MV… meh. Again, it’s nothing special? The outfit with the waistcoat is nice but not outstanding, it looks good on him, as for the rest? nope. That abandoned place in Hungary looks so impressive on pics but the MV doesn’t give it justice, they could have shot it in a studio using AI it wouldn’t have made a huge difference. The choreo, the photography — again, the 80s and MJ inspiration is a bit too much. Jungkook’s expressions are too exaggerated, it made me laugh lol sorry. He’s way hotter when he’s smiling and showing his goofy and cute sides rather than acting all tough. His Tik Tok challenges with LeSserafim and TXT were perfect in that sense, cute and sassy looks waaaay better on him, it makes him look so freaking attractive and powerful. The ‘mafia boss’ look suits Yoongi much better in my opinion. But I understand many fans like it on Jungkook, it’s how they want him to be. To each their own.

Overall the album is okay but nothing impressive, definitely some skips for me but I’m relieved there’s a few songs I really appreciate. I’m happy for Jungkook but I doubt this is an album we’ll remember in the future. I hope I’m not being rude. I wish people would also stop with the superlatives — breaking the industry, album of the year, mind blowing… everything is blown out of proportion, and coming from productors and people who collaborated on the album it’s just a marketing tactic for promotion but it’s getting annoying and it sounds fake. But I guess it’s fandom culture… Anyway, I’ll let it rest a few days to see if I change my mind and end up liking more songs. I’m happy Jungkook is satisfied, it’s nice seeing him happy.

Sorry this is way too long and I keep repeating myself!

Hi! Thank you so much for reading my review after listening to the album. That's really sweet!

I agree a lot on SNTY. I've heard the song a few times now. It's pretty catchy and powerful, but the MJ vocals at the end ruin the ending. It also ends really abruptly with an outro that sounds like a bridge. It's confusing when the song ends just like that. Many songs these days are like that. I think no song in Golden has a bridge? That's probably why I can never tell when the songs are about to end and stop paying attention halfway through.

Somebody is probably my favorite bside, Closer To You stands out because of the chorus, Shot Glass Full of Tears is growing on me, Hate You and Too Sad to Dance are pretty bland, I hate Yes or No, and Please Don't Change is meh and sounds too much like Closer to You. The issue with the album is structure and lack of cohesiveness. The song selection only makes sense after Please Don't Change. Why start with 3D and follow it up with Closer to You? SNTY makes sense after Closer to You, but after Seven? Seven after Closer to You? SNTY after Seven? And then Yes or No after SNTY instead of Seven? Why in the world... The songs also don't feel like Jungkook? I don't know if they will eventually, but I can't hear Jungkook in them. I can hear him in 3D and Seven. Hate You sounds like a song he would cover, but in general it's like they're not really him? SNTY sounds too much like The Weeknd too, especially the vocals, though JK is likely a better singer and sings really well in the song.

I don't even know the lyrics. It's hard to understand him tbh. He did a great job with his English pronunciation, but sometimes his accent is too noticeable. and I also keep spacing when listening to the songs. In SNTY there's a line that's like "left and right something" and makes no sense. And, yes, the songs have all been done before. Seven is by far the most refreshing and original to me actually.

Another issue with Golden is that the songs all feel really short and repetitive. I space out listening to them and before I know it they're over and I can't remember what the middle sounded like. I still can't remember how most of the songs end. I stop paying attention since they're so repetitive. 3D and Seven have bridges, but the other songs don't. Actually, Yes or No has a bridge, kinda, but it's not a good one and it's more like the pre-chorus. Jungkook's high note in that song sounds surprisingly bad. It's so thick and doesn't fit the song at all. So, yeah, most tracks sound unfinished.

Golden is neither worse nor better than what I expected. I think the issues with the album are Jungkook's lack of vision. As he explained, he didn't want to write the songs because he had nothing to say and doesn't love songwriting, so the lyrics are just lyrics, just images, not autobiographical, and apparently about love since it's universal. Thus the album has no message and the songs don't tell a story. He just wanted to try different genres and challenge himself, so the album sounds like a compilation of covers of different artists and less like a pop album. Jungkook's goals were to make a mainstream pop album and try many genres uncaring of messaging and refusing to settle on a specific sound... Imo the album was pretty much bound to feel unfinished and disorganized. It's almost mid by design.

Finally, about the MV… meh. Again, it’s nothing special? The outfit with the waistcoat is nice but not outstanding, it looks good on him, as for the rest? nope. That abandoned place in Hungary looks so impressive on pics but the MV doesn’t give it justice, they could have shot it in a studio using AI it wouldn’t have made a huge difference. The choreo, the photography — again, the 80s and MJ inspiration is a bit too much. Jungkook’s expressions are too exaggerated, it made me laugh lol sorry. He’s way hotter when he’s smiling and showing his goofy and cute sides rather than acting all tough. His Tik Tok challenges with LeSserafim and TXT were perfect in that sense, cute and sassy looks waaaay better on him, it makes him look so freaking attractive and powerful. The ‘mafia boss’ look suits Yoongi much better in my opinion. But I understand many fans like it on Jungkook, it’s how they want him to be. To each their own.

Took the words right out of my mouth!! Yes, the waistcoat look is sexy and very Jungkook - it's kinda sassy and androgynous - but his other looks, particularly the sparkly jacket are crap (and look like Enhypen rejects). I couldn't really put into words what was missing with the MV but it's exactly what you said! They shot the MV at a historical place all the way in Hungary but you can barely tell? All I noticed was a normal stage. They literally could've shot it in a green room and added CGI and I wouldn't have noticed. The MV is also so dark and monotonous? The MJ inspiration is an over kill. The choreo is good, from what I saw, but the MJ grunting and choreo at the end are just frustrating... JK's facial expressions are too exaggerated, thank you for noticing! JK's sexy when he's dancing and naturally makes these powerful and sassy facial expressions, he's naturally sexy when he's not wearing makeup and just chilling, but he was trying too hard in the MV and looked baby more than anything. I think he looks cool in all his TikToks, but sassy JK with LSF is a different kind of attractive haha.

As far as records go, I'm sure Jungkook will set and break them, but the album's nothing special and does not match his talent. He wasn't even sure about releasing it. If Jungkook had had all the time in the world to make an album, would it have sounded like this or would it have been better structured and more personal?

Don't worry, your post isn't too long! Mine is just as long! Thanks for the ask!! I love it when anons share their thoughts in such detail! I'm glad you enjoy the album overall.