#I mean the whole hurt people hurt people confuses because I ain’t trying to hurt anyone so why let it be an excuse for others

[oswildin]

I don’t know how I feel when people say they ‘want the old Loki back’…

Whilst I get it, trust me, Dark World Loki made my knees weak, but I think the version we have now is so much better… Ragnarok Loki quickly became my favourite for the pure fact that he finally began to accept himself, he was willing to sacrifice himself to save Thor, because there ain’t no way my man picked up that dagger and didn’t know he was gonna die I—

TVA Loki is more grounded. He was shown that his whole desire for a throne was ultimately meaningless (I mean in the grand scheme and tbh he never really wanted it in the first place, just wanted to be Thors equal). Even when Miss Minutes and He Who Remains tries to tempt him into getting his throne, sure he falters for a moment, but he knows that isn’t his purpose now. He is actively trying to not do what led to his mothers death. Be bitter and callous (or at least portray that that’s who he is when we all know he’s always had a heart and is emotional).

Sure, i get it, you want intimidating Loki, powerful Loki, threatening Loki… But episode two showed he can still be those things, except now with more restraint. And I actually think it makes him more intimidating that he was so ‘goofy’ and casual in how he spoke to Brad during the interrogation scenes. His calmer demeanour instead of blind rage is scary.

Loki has a duality that many characters don’t. He can be the tough intimidating guy, he can be the emotional guy, he can be the problem solver and the problem maker, he can be a good friend and a bad one… He’s so multifaceted and I think only wanting the ‘villainous’ side of him diminishes his character slightly.

I related to Loki in Thor 1 because to me he was someone who was lost, confused and hurt, lashing out like… well, like a child. And we now know that that role had been thrusted upon him due to his supposed ‘path on the sacred timeline’, that he was ‘made to cause others pain’. But he’s learning that it doesn’t have to be that way, that he can simply be himself without the hardened armour, the mask of a villain. It was always clear he didn’t enjoy hurting people. The fact he cried when he was fighting Thor, he cried when his mother died, even when his father died he was upset (despite me thinking odin didn’t deserve it but anyways…)

And everyone likes to reference the scene where Loki is taking that man’s eyeball in the Avengers, but if the theory is correct he was under the influence of the mind stone, then it was most likely amplifying his darker thoughts and emotions, hence the smile. He finally felt like he held the power, he had the upper hand. It wasn’t about the torture he was inflicting, it was about how people finally were viewing him as someone to take seriously, be afraid of. (Plus I really doubt at that point marvel even had in mind how his character would progress considering I don’t think any of them expected Loki to become a beloved character, hence why I take that scene with a pinch of salt).

People also say ‘how did he go from this to this’ or ‘this the same Loki that did this’, like… People can be multifaceted… They can have different sides to themselves… I think if deleted scenes with Loki weren’t cut, it wouldn’t feel that way so much to some people. For example the deleted Thor and Loki scene from Thor 1 where he turns the wine into snakes, showing his childish like mischief, him telling Thor he loved him despite his own jealousy. That one little scene would’ve added more depth to his character (in that film), and the scene with his mother where he gets given the throne? Ugh, should’ve been kept in because it showed his shock at being given that power. And also, his plan - whilst yes, bad and misguided - was all about trying to prove himself, and protect his family in the process from the ‘monsters’ that he saw himself as, almost to be like ‘see I’m not like them, look-‘.. I—

I want to see Loki feel accepted, banter with Mobius, eating pie even though it’s too sweet, embracing his powers and magic for good (and mischief ofc), be honest and talking about his past/emotions, beginning to realise that he can be whoever he wants. He doesn’t have to fit in a box, not a villain or a hero, but someone who is flawed and is trying his best.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[gimmethosedaddymilkers]

Arthur Morgan Headcannons but you have an invisible illness

Okay, this is a special one, I’m not going to share this person’s specific illnesses, but a few general invisible illnesses because I want to respect their privacy. I am going to tag them so they can read these and hopefully have a good time! 

So, this one is for you @mrsarthurmorgan7 I hope you enjoy this! 

Okay, first things first!

I do not have an invisible illness, other than

well

the anxiety lmao

so if I get something wrong let me know! I’ve done some research but I am in no way a professional!

Let’s go!

Arthur is a good man, a fantastic man, a man who is kind of stupid.

He probably won’t realize you have anything going on unless you tell him specifically that there’s something going on with you.

When you tell him it’s an ‘invisible illness’ he’s confused.

“The hell you mean invisible illness? Ain’t all of ‘em invisible?” 

So of course you have to explain to him what an invisible illness is. 

Once he understands that an invisible illness is something that makes your life difficult but doesn’t physically change the way you look so it can’t really be seen by people just with a glance, he feels bad for never really realizing anything

Which of course you tell him it’s not his fault, no one can tell it, you didn’t expect him to either. 

When you tell him your exact illness and what it entails he’ll do his absolute best to help you out.

Maybe you have severe anxiety and depression and it causes physical issues, such as an upset stomach or troubles sleeping.

Arthur has those two himself so he easily understands and is always there to reassure you, no matter what.

He’ll tell you how happy you make him, how important you are to him, and everything he loves about you.

Anything to make your day better. 

Maybe you have an illness that makes your body ache everyday, hurt so much that you can’t even accomplish everyday tasks. 

He will completely understand and if anyone in camp DARES

I mean

DARES

To try and tell you to get up off your ass and do work

He’s at their throat with a knife or behind their back with a gun to their temple without a second thought. Hell, even if it was Charles, or Dutch, He’d even do it to Hosea, if he dared.

He is fiercely protective over you, FIERCELY 

I mean, you didn’t do shit to deserve this and so your bad days are his bad days too

He loves you to no ends so seeing you upset makes him upset and when you’re in pain there isn’t much he can do.

If your bones ache it’s not like he can just fix them. 

If your muscles hurt at least he can do something to help, there.

He’ll massage you no matter what part of your body needs massaged, and he’ll do his best to make sure he doesn’t do it too hard, he doesn’t want to hurt you any further and he’ll listen to every instruction you give him. 

Some days your arms are weaker than others because of the illness, it isn’t something you can control and you always feel as though it makes you so useless for the camp 

but Arthur refuses to let you think that about yourself, and refuses to allow you to think that way

He makes sure you know that even if you struggle to do some chores in camp you’re just as important as others.

Firstly

Molly doesn’t do too many chores, and neither does Uncle, yet they’re still around

Not to mention even with your illness you do more than the two of them combined

He makes sure you know that it’s okay to have your off days, it’s not your fault in the slightest, you don’t get to control when it acts up and the moment it does he’s happy to take a day off himself and sit with you as long as he needs to to make sure you feel better.

He’ll even take you into camp (As carefully as he can of course) and then get you a hot bath, to help with relaxing your body.

He knows it takes a really big toll on you

He’ll make sure it’s HOt but not too hot, and he’ll make sure that he gets a warm towel for you afterwards and the whole time you’re in there he’s rubbing your shoulders. 

Whatever pain you might have he does his best to help

Say your invisible illness makes you unable to have children (If you’re a woman of course)

He wants kids yes

but 

if you can’t have them 

he’s not going to be angry at you, especially considering its not your fault 

He realizes his life isn’t exactly the best place for a kid in the first place. He’s always out running he’s always risking his life

He wouldn’t want to traumatize a kid by not coming back one day due to some shooting

He has Jack, and if he can’t have kids with the person he loves because of some illness he’s okay with just his nephew.

Of course if you don’t want kids that makes it even easier. Then he doesn’t feel bad about you not being able to have any in the first place. Of course if you did want them he’d feel bad he couldn’t fix it for you.

Plus, if you’re unable to have kids

Well

Let’s be honest with ourselves

Theres a shit ton less worry for Arthur when you two are intimate. 

He doesn’t have to try and think at the last second to make sure he doesn’t 

well

you know

If you can’t have kids think about it

No worry at all about finishing in ya

That he’s extremely excited about I mean....

He’s got a thing for it let’s be honest.

The first couple of times it happens he panics of course because he’s not used to that kind of thing but 

He starts stuttering and panicking and he’s naked the whole time so it’s hilarious

“Oh shit Y/N I’m sorry I didn’t....Shit Darlin’ I didn’t mean...I wasn’t thinkin’ I was...and you...”

“Arthur, for the love of god I can’t have kids.” 

“Oh, shit...that’s right...I...I kinda forgot.” 

“Just lay down you fool.” 

Of course, if you start to feel tired or hurting while you guys are intimate he’ll stop at the drop of a pin

He may be a horny bastard

but he’s not a horrible person so if you’re hurting then of course he’s gonna do his best to help you feel better. 

He’ll stop and then start cuddling you to make you feel better. 

Now

If you do want kids but you can’t

He is willing to adopt kids

in fact considering the fact that he himself pretty much is an adopted kid he’s all for it.

And the two of you will find the perfect kid to adopt and you’ll raise him as if you had him yourself. 

Maybe the illness you have causes hot flashes or something similar

He’ll do his best to warm you up or cool you down the best he can

He once threw you into the river even because you were so hot

It helped you and it was funny for him

Granted it was a gentle throw, so he didn’t hurt you

but it was funny nonetheless

If you’re cold, even if you’re in the middle of the desert, he gives you every coat he owns, piling one on top of the other

then blankets, and even if it’ll make him hot and sweaty he’ll sit and hold you to make sure you’re warm.

He’s just as caring and kind as one could possibly want when it comes to this kind of thing

He might not fully understand it at all but he’s willing to listen to you explain it and he’ll even write things down in his journal in an attempt to try and remember it all. 

Sometimes he asks you to quiz him so that he makes sure he’s doing things properly.

He makes sure that he does the best he can.

Please be patient with him, he wants to do everything in his power, and he’s going to, but you have to teach him.

All in all

He’s the best learner

and the best significant other one could ask for when it comes to having an invisible illness. 

He’s there for you

At every turn!

Okay! As I said, I don’t have an invisible illness, but I did my best! So please! Tell me if something is off, if something needs changed! I’ll do my best to make it better for everyone!

I hope you enjoyed it! 

[obwjam]

hmmmmm could you write a soft Jamie or Roy or Ted fic by any chance? bonus points if it's an especially skittish borrower being discovered by them

you’re so lucky that you asked this specific thing because i wrote a ted thing a while ago and was looking for an excuse to post it :) it just starts abruptly so please ignore that in favor of lots of soft ted

————————————————————————

“Don’t worry, Beard ain’t comin’ for at least another hour. I was up early, so I decided to just head on over to work. Just one of those mornings,” Ted chuckled. One of those mornings after a sleepless night of tossing and turning.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright, it’s okay,” Ted said softly, putting his hands up in mock surrender when you started to inch back. “I ain’t gonna hurt’cha. Just call me the BFG. Or Gulliver. He was a pretty nice guy to all those Lilliputians.”

You had absolute no clue what he was talking about.

“BFG. Big friendly giant? Roald Dahl?” Ted questioned, before remembering that the chances of you reading a novel was probably zero. “Right, right. Tiny person. You’re not a Lilliputian, are you?”

Nothing. Ted frowned. He was used to people not taking him seriously, but being scared of him? That was a first.

“I’m just… well, I’m a little confused,” Ted confessed, trying to keep the conversation going. “Believe it or not, you’re the first tiny person I’ve ever seen runnin’ across a desk. Or runnin’ anywhere, really.”

Ted’s ever-persistent smile faded when he took a moment to see just how terrified you were. You hadn’t moved since the moment he walked in, and you weren’t sure you’d be able to until he left.

If he left.

“D’you have a name, little guy?” Ted asked, knowing full well he wasn’t going to get an answer. “I’m Ted Lasso. Though you probably already know that, don’t you?”

Nothing.

“How did y’even get up on my desk, anyway? No offense, but I—”

Ted was nearly stunned silent in the middle of his sentence. As soon as he asked that, it triggered something inside you; the intense fear of being reprimanded, of being punished simply for existing, all came to a head. You broke down, sobbing into your shirt as your heartbeat grew faster and faster.

Ted shut his mouth and stared, eyes practically shaking at the sight before him. Suddenly realizing how intimidating he must look looming over you, he slowly lowered himself into his chair, his gaze not once leaving you.

“Woah, hey, c’mon now, it’s — it’s alright,” Ted said as he sat, his voice quivering slightly. In a way, he knew how you were feeling, and he was usually good at comforting people. But he was lacking in experience with four-inch-tall people. “Look, I know I must look real scary t’you right now, but I promise, I would never hurt you, and I ain’t mad. I’m just… I just wanna talk, if that’s alright.”

In your mind, you knew he was telling the truth. You had seen him here for months, and you supposed this was way better than being discovered by anyone else. But he was a human, and all humans were the same. Dangerous. Reckless. Curious.

“You can understand me, right?”

He said he wasn’t mad, but the more one-sided the conversation became, the more worried you were that he would snap. Slowly, you shook your head yes.

You were expecting some kind of audible hooray from Ted once you actually responded to him, but you were pleasantly surprised when his only reaction was a warm smile. You felt your eyes widen a bit. That smile felt… genuine.

“Can I ask how you got in here? In my office, I mean. Or the whole building, really.” Ted was cognizant to keep his sentences short. His rambling was clearly making you nervous.

You swallowed, realizing quickly that your only way out of this was with a conversation. You opened your mouth to respond, and all the words got caught in your throat. Nothing but a small whimper came out.

Ted furrowed his brow in concern. How on earth was he going to get a response out of you? Maybe it was best to just leave you alone… but then he would be thinking about you non-stop every day he walked into work, and that wasn’t going to fly.

“I… I live here.”

Ted tilted his head and tried hard to suppress a smile, but he couldn’t. Your voice was so damn cute.

“You live here? All this time, Rebecca could’ve been chargin’ rent,” he joked, mostly to himself. “Where is… here, exactly?”

You shrugged. “Here. There. Wherever is safe.” You were not about to give him more details than was absolutely necessary.

Ted nodded. “Here, there, and everywhere. I get it, you could probably burrow into anything. Gosh, you are just… so small…”

This is what you were afraid of. Ted was very, very quickly getting attached to you.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” he stammered. He didn’t really intend to say that out loud. “That was inappropriate of me, wasn’t it? I’m sure you’re very aware of how small you are.” He groaned. “Dang it, I did it again.”

You didn’t mean to, but you sniffed a laugh. He was starting to sound as nervous as you were.

“I came in here to get some supplies,” you said, almost a whisper, but somehow Ted heard it.

He leaned in ever so slightly. “Supplies? You buildin’ somethin’?”

“Sort of…” you said, slowly turning your head around. Your hook was still there, dangling off the side of the desk with the paper clip stuck into the wood.

It didn’t take long for Ted’s eyes to follow your gaze. His expression brightened when he finally noticed, and he nearly reached across the desk to pluck it up before realizing that leaning over you was probably not the best idea.

“Can I see it?”

You looked up in surprise, and Ted gave a small nod as if to say it was safe for you to move. Carefully, you padded to the edge of the desk, yanked your hook up and gently placed it in front of you. You felt your breath hitch as Ted’s gigantic hand slowly descended, fingers pinching the paper clip like it was nothing to him.

He was speechless as he dangled it in front of his face, eyes moving rapidly as he tried to make sense of what he was holding. It was a tiny little hook made by a tiny little person. How did this thing actually work?

“…Wow,” was all Ted could say. “So you really swing around on this thing like some itty bitty Batman.”

You felt your face get hot. Were you blushing?

“I, uh. I need a new paper clip. That one’s old. ‘S why I’m on your desk. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“Woah there, little buddy. You do not need to apologize to me, you hear? Gosh, that’s all you needed? You risked your life just so you could get one little measly paper clip? Jeeze Louise.” Ted leaned back, opened his drawer, snatched a paper clip out and plunked it on the desk in front of you. He didn’t miss the way you jumped at his movements. “If you need some post-it notes too, just tell me, I got hundreds of ‘em.”

“I…” you had no words. He barely questioned you and immediately jumped at the chance to help. What kind of giant did that?

“Go on, it’s alright,” Ted said gently, trying to coax you from the spot where you were frozen solid. “Take it. It’s yours.”

As soon as you picked up the paper clip, Ted’s heart practically melted. It was nearly as tall as you were. How could someone so small function in a world like this? It was then that he noticed just how ragged you were. Your clothes weren’t actually clothes — they were more like rags with limb-sized holes cut in them. They draped off your body like some regal gown, but Ted knew that you weren’t some kind of tiny royalty. You were frail.

“Y’know, I never had a chance to grab breakfast this morning,” Ted started, trying to gauge your reaction. You gave him nothing. “D’you — would you — I could take you with me to get somethin’, if you’d like. B-But you don’t have to say yes, if you don’t want to. You just — if I may, you really look like you could use somethin’ to… when was the last time you ate?”

You shrugged. “A few days ago, maybe.”

“A few days?! Well, that settles it. You’re comin’ with me.”

Almost instinctively, Ted placed his hand down on the table, dragging it back a bit once he saw how you shuddered at the movement. The top of his palm went halfway up your body, and he suddenly became nervous.

You took a few steps back, stumbling as your eyes darted from his palm up to his face and back down again. God, he was so big.

Ted flushed red. “I’m sorry, little guy, I didn’t mean it like that.” He huffed a laugh, and you were confused. “Gosh, some BFG I am. I’m not really helpin’ you, am I? I’m just scarin’ you.”

You sighed. Even watching him from afar, you couldn’t figure Ted out. You always waited for his facade to fade as soon as someone left the room; maybe a scowl, or mumbling something mean about them. But it never happened. Maybe… maybe he really was this nice. God damn it, were you actually feeling bad for him?

“I…” you started, pausing to see if Ted would hear you. He did. Of course. “I would… I would love to eat, actually.” Another pause. “Thank you.”

Ted felt his entire chest fill with warmth. He wasn’t really sure what was about to happen, but he knew one thing — he was going to keep you safe, no matter what. There was no way he could let you go now. He was determined.

“Hey, remember what I said?” Ted asked. You shook your head no. “I said I wouldn’t hurt you. And I meant it. Yeah?”

You shyly nodded, which immediately prompted Ted to smile. His eyes never left you as you gingerly climbed onto his palm, which was surprisingly still as you situated yourself.

Really, he could barely process what was happening. But he felt his heart skip a beat and his breath hitch when you made contact with him, your little tiny movements suddenly very sharp on his own hand. Boy, he thought, this is really taking having someone’s life in your hands to a whole new level.

“Are you good, little guy?” Ted finally remembered to ask.

A small nod. His heart fluttered.

“Right, I’ll keep you real close, alright? Make sure no one else sees you.”

You were waiting for that sinking feeling to hit, and while you were incredibly nervous, it never really happened. There was something about this giant… this… Ted… that you just knew was different. Call it instinct, delusion, whatever, but something inside of you felt safe.

Maybe this really was alright.

BONUS

“You really found one?” Beard asked incredulously. Frankly, he was shocked that Ted discovered a borrower before he did.

Ted nodded with an emphatic mmmhmm before an alarm bell went off in his head. “Say, how did you know that I was harborin’ a tiny person? I could have been hidin’ anything from you.”

Beard didn’t say a word, but he raised his eyebrows and curled his mouth in such a way that made Ted realize he probably didn’t want or need to know how Beard knew.

“You shoulda seen me,” Ted said lowly, trying to make sure his conversation didn’t get picked up by anyone else on the pitch. “Made a great BFG joke.”

“I thought the whole point of the BFG is that the giants eat people.”

“Hm.” Ted thought about that for a moment before his eyes went wide. Mouth agape, he turned to Beard, who gave a simple nod. “Oh, shoot.”

“That’s a pretty big mistake right there.”

“Ohhh,” Ted chuckled. “Ohh-ho-ho. That’s a good one, coach.”

“Thank you, coach.”

“You’re mighty welcome, coach.”

A pause.

“Can I meet them?”

“No, nope,” Ted replied immediately. “Oh, no. Absolutely not.”

Beard bobbed his head. “I figured.”

“Maybe someday,” Ted mused, thinking of how his tiny friend was probably enjoying some alone time in the makeshift Lego house he built for them. “Maybe someday.”

[sunnygrey99]

The Silent Witch In The Woods Pt. 9

~Trigger Warning: Gore, Typical TWD warnings. Angst, Gets a little spicy but not a lot this chapter (minors DNI)~

A/N: Buckle up fuckers, we got a longer part here. It was almost twice as long because I wasn't going to split it. I have split it for the sake of Tumblr glitches, which I've noticed a lot while trying to read longer fics. If you don't want to read shameless smut this is the last chapter of this fic for now. I might make a sequel fic down the road which will be titled differently but marked as such. I hope you all enjoy the wrap-up to this first installment I guess and let me know if you'd want to see this same reader insert back in another series.

Three days pass in agonizing silence between you and Daryl, not for the lack of Daryl trying. He takes every chance he can to try to corner you and talk to you. Hating the feeling of being completely ignored and at a loss of how to fix it, he turns to his best friends who unfortunately are using his situation to make fun of him.

The familiar chuckles of Rick and Glenn pull him out of his thoughts. Rick’s southern voice coming up first. “Come on now Daryl, it ain’t the end of the world she’s just mad. She’ll get over it eventually.” 

Next comes Glenn’s torturous comments, “Not according to Maggie. She is straight up stone walling him, and I mean you do kind of deserve it.” His shrug just makes the deep pit Daryl is sinking in feel like its pulling him under even faster. 

He rolls his eyes at the pair, “I ain’t done nothin’ wrong.”

“Bullshit.” Glenn plops down next to him on the porch’s steps. “You don’t remember screaming at her for no reason?”

“I had plenty of reason” He huffs out gruffly.

“Naw, you were concerned but that ain’t good enough” Rick chirping in makes him doubt himself more alreading having felt the guilt over his actions since the moment he yelled at you. 

Maggie walks out the front door and stomps past Daryl and Glenn. “Ya know its way more than that Daryl. You should have known better to completely ignore her like you did. That really hurt her. That was her biggest problem when she was first settlin’ in. Bein’ treated like she is a child or if you just don’t look at her then she doesn’t exist. Ya basically took her voice away all over again, and you didn’t think that wasn’t cruel or wrong in anyway?” She stands there with her hands on her hips and a glare in her eyes that could strike fear in the devil himself before her gaze switches over to Glenn. Her finger pointing to him before speaking sternly. “You know what you did too so don’t be actin like you are any better Rhee” With that she walks off to do her daily duties or alteast what she can with her growing babybump. 

Both Rick and Daryl look at Glenn with concern and a hint of humor at his situation. Before they all look back to the approaching footsteps and seeing Maggie again. “Oh and Daryl fix it and then ask the poor girl out. I ain’t never seen two people so infatuated with each other and yet so damn stubborn.” She huffs off again with purpose leaving Daryl somehow even more stunned. 

With that Rick and Glenn both burst out laughing at Daryl’s expense. “The hell you two laughin’ at?”

Rick wipes a spare tear from escaping his eye as he laughs. “Nothin’ just she’s right.”

Glenn looks over at Daryl and his laugher slowly dies off as he realizes. “Holy shit you really dont see it do you?”

“Huh? Whataya mean?” His face contorts in confusion at the two men. Both of them look to each other and then back to Daryl. 

“You really haven’t seen how she looks at you?” Glenn’s reaction leaves Daryl only to slowly shake his head. 

“Sometimes its real sweet like you mean everything to her. Othertimes we all feel like we need to give you two the whole room alone.” Rick leans against the cold siding of the house. 

Glenn chuckles again at the statement “Yeah. It’s like she’s undressing you completely in her head and then some.” 

The thought of you even possibly thinking of him in that way has Daryl blushing like a middle schooler. It was a lot of information at once, and a lot of feelings he wasn’t expecting to have to deal with. The noise of his two friends talking back and forth starts to fade away as he realizes that he is already walking to the infirmary. He passes by the resident doctor and a couple of people before making it to your office and opening the door and nearly slamming it shut behind him. He spots you slowly standing from your desk and looking at him with a bit of surprise but mostly still anger. 

His feet carry him to just infront of you backing you against the wall. One hand goes for your hip and the other cupping your cheek as he quickly pulls you in for a heated and yet tentative kiss. The second his skin touches yours is like every nerve in your body shivers with an intense electricity. It has you frozen and confused for the first few seconds before you melt into the somehow comforting feeling. Seconds or minutes pass by before nearly running out of air, and the two of you part slightly and he rests his forehead against yours. “I’m sorry. I should’nt’a treated ya like that. I ain’t ever gonna do that again, Promise. I…Please stop ignorin’ me”

It takes about 10 seconds of you searching his face and tone for any deception on his part. You fail to find any. Nodding you pull him back in crashing your lips against his again. The electricity still coursing your veins and intensifying in the places that your skin touches his. His hand griping further and tighter at your waist while the other sneaks into your hair, tugging slightly at the base as he nips at your bottom lip. Only the faintest gasp comes from you as your hips rut against nothing looking for some relief. Finally you have to pull yourself away from the man who seems to want nothing other than to continue trying to meld your bodies together. 

Your chest and his both rise and fall in unison at the exertion. The only thing running through your mind God I wish I could just let you fuck me right here. At the end of the thought, you see Daryl’s eyebrows shoot up and you hear his voice but see no movement of his lips, What the fuck…

It leaves you confused for only a few moments before putting two and two together. Holy shit Daryl can you hear me? His head nods slowly before he squints at you “What the hell is happenin’? Is this normal?” 

You can’t help the grin that plasters on your face as you pull out your thick book of shadows from your bag. Flipping through it to find the right page and showing him what was written from a few generations before you. You shove the book towards him and give Daryl time to absorb the information.

He looks back up to you waiting for an explanation. You quickly bring your hands up to sign not quite used to the bond yet and not wanting to freak Daryl out any further than necessary. It's an explanation for the weird shocks I feel whenever we touch, and why I was able to find your camp so easily. I scryed for less than 20 seconds but usually, something like that could take way longer. It's also how you found me in the woods in the beginning. I had so many wards around that it should have been nearly impossible for you to end up there, but you did. 

“Wait…Does that mean I’m like you? Was this on accident? Do ya……want this?” His voice is nearly hushed and you can feel a wave of guilt wash over the new link from him. 

You quickly place a hand on his shoulder to have him look at you, pushing through the link with your own emotion to soothe him. It might have been an accident but I’d rather it have been you than anyone else. Unfortunately, I don’t think you can use Magick though. The words being bounced into his own head seem to wash away some of the guilt he feels but he seemingly is going to need help controlling his side of the link. 

The most pressing emotion he has now has you confused before you remember what the two of you had started right before the binding took over. You feel the intense heat of a blush rush over you and unfortunately, slip through the link as well. Biting your lip and leaning back into Daryl you choose your next words carefully before pressing through the bond, How about we take this back to the house? My shift was almost over anyway. Daryl makes no noise before grabbing your hand and all but dragging you back to the house.

Part 10

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[thecrimsonwolfe]

Resigned To Dust

(Hangman x wolfman’s daughter)

Content warnings:adult themes,cussing,sexism,cruel judgement,adorable Jake,mentions of hooking up,pregnancy,protective father and uncles

A conversation Jake truly thought he long forgot about replayed in his head from few months ago,when he was struggling with thoughts after a really hard mission,a girl who talked with him not wanting anything from him.

“Eventually my name and yours will be resigned to dust,just like everyone else’s.I’m not special,nobody is and to be honest not even the most famous people are,will be remembered forever.No matter how hard they try,no matter how many people they hurt,everyone will eventually be forgotten so what ever has got you down tonight,let it fade and just smile”.

The words that fell from Leonardo Wolfes daughters mouth stuck with him,though at the time he didn’t know she was who she was.

It was the night of the Navy Gala,Jake had ended up going with Phoenix by his side though he knew he was going home with someone different.

“I have a old friend of mine,back from when I was in your guys shoes showing up tonight.” Maverick started to explain to them as Bob came in,as nobody even noticed expect Phoenix.

“I would really appreciate it if you could take all of the mission stuff and talk slow with them,be kind and none of the nonsense” Maverick more ordered them then asked.

“Who’s they?” Coyote asked him confused as his head snapped up from his computer he was looking at.

“He went by Wolfman an his daughter Dustin will be with him” Maverick informed them.

“Dustin?” Fanboy chuckled at the name.

“Something funny there?” Maverick raised a eyebrow at him pointing outside where he could go do push ups.

“Who names their daughter Dustin,that’s a guys name” Fanboy said as he went out already bending down to the warm concrete as he did push ups.

“Holy shit they are here” rooster whispered as he stood up straighter causing Phoenix to laugh.

“Got a thing for the heartbreakers?” Phoenix shook her head laughing seeing Rooster and Jake both watching Maverick pulling Wolfman and Dustin in to a hug.

“Fuck,man” Jake cursed under his breathe leaving Rooster to look over at him to see if he was alright,while Phoenix missed her shot as it had startled her.

“What’s going on?” Phoenix watched Jake seem antsy for the first time.

“I know her,I met her at the bar” Jake sighed unsure of how he truly felt about the whole situation.

“Oh,sweet Jesus” Rooster chuckled shaking his head as he leaned over slightly hitting two balls into the hole.

“Trust me,bagman” Phoenix teased him.”Whatever happened then won’t matter and she ain’t gonna bring it up”

“An how do you know that?” Jake looked at her now with his full focus.

“Because she’s a Wolfe,the family’s known for hook ups that mean nothing,She’s a bigger player then you” Phoenix nudged him with a end of the pool stick for Jake to make his turn.

Jake was to distracted he needed to know,that night was different,it was for him.Dustin had been the first girl he didn’t rush into bed with,they just sat there that night drinking and talking.

“It’s so great to see you,kid” Maverick pulled Dustin into a hug,while her smaller hand rested on Mavericks back gently rubbing before pulling away from the hug.

“So how come you didn’t try to get into Top Gun?” Coyote was the first to break the silence,as Dustin tucked a piece of hair behind her ear that fell in-front of her face.

“I really don’t do heights” she smiled while her head was slightly tilted,while part of Jake felt jealous for the first time seeing the girl he couldn’t get his mind off of,flirting with Javy of all people.

“You don’t now do you?” He teased back while Dustin’s face paled quite quickly feeling her dads hand on her shoulder and the presence of Hollywood and slider behind her.

“Oh,shit” Phoenix laughed watching was her father pointed at Coyote.

“Try that again I dare you,an you won’t be breathing” Wolfman threatened him.

Dustin’s mom left Dustin at a very young age with her father Leonardo,Wolfman became overly protective of who his daughter and who flirted with her not wanting her to go through what he and her mother did,knowing how guys in the navy were,because he was one.

When Jake showed up to the Navy Gala with Natasha’s arm linked with his,her dress matching perfectly to his suit,Jake eyes first fell on her father pulling her away from slider yelling something over the music that was drained out.

Dustin broke out in a laugh as her father went to dance with her,She was in jeans and boots and a red crimson sweater.

That dam sweater he couldn’t help but think to himself as it was the sweater she was wearing when she approached him for the first time.

As the night went on,Jake found himself having fun for the first time for a while,no longer distracted as he was standing talking with Maverick,an Rooster.

Forever and ever amen had played twice tonight as Jake watched as the first time Dustin had danced with her father to it,the second she danced with phoenix and part of him couldn’t lie that he found it hot,but he couldn’t believe it as he felt Dustin’s soft hand pulling him on to the dance floor as the song played yet again.

Jake found himself closing his eyes wishing the song wouldn’t end,finding peace in the little part of just being able to hold her hand as she danced with him,he wasn’t sure why he fell so helplessly head over heels for her,she was different then any girl he had ever met.

The rest of the night was a huge blur for him,he thought the night he had,was a dream.Jake didn’t dream often in his sleep,until he walked into the kitchen,his sweatpants hung low on his hips.

Not knowing what was going on,but feeling the color and blood rush cold as he heard slider slam something on the counter.

“I swear to god when we find out who got you pregnant they are dead,an I’ll personally bring them back some how just to kill them again” Hollywood scuffed.

“Look I don’t know,alright I drank last night and it doesn’t matter,you raised me on your own,who says I can’t do that?” Dustin told the three older guys while her father gave her a bitch face.

“You are not raising a kid alone,don’t you dare forget you have us” he said pointing between him and his two best friends.

“Yeah,sure” Dustin said quietly while she got up to make coffee groaning as slider took it from her,drinking it.

“Yeah if your pregnant,you can’t drink coffee” slider informed her while Dustin rolled her eyes mumbling you she’s got to be kidding me.

“Congrats” phoenix told her,remembering seeing Jake and her walking off not saying anything as she pulled Jake aside asking if he was insane.

“Are you fucking serious,her father is gonna kill you” Natasha exclaimed.

“Why would he do that?” Jakes voice was laced with confusion.

“You guys left last night together” Natasha told him as all the pieces fell into line.

“Wait-your telling me I’m gonna be a father” the words fell from his tongue slowly and quietly as everything hit him at once,as he looked back to see Dustin leaning against the counter while slider put her on it.

“I’m not a child,I really don’t need my father and my uncles protecting me” Dustin told them while her father walked off needing a minute alone.

“Maybe but to your father and us you will always be the little girl who came running around the corner in your fathers flying coat” slider chuckled while Dustin rolled her eyes.

“I’m still her maybe but I’m a grown women I don’t need my father making threats,an protected from everything.I don’t even remember last night,I’m fine raising them on my own” she states as the words broke Jake.

The girl he fell in love with all those months back,saying she would be fine raising his son or daughter alone by herself.

Jake couldn’t help but knew he can go find a way to make her know he was the father of their child she was carrying,though because of how short and small her body was,it didn’t look like she was even showing yet.While he had though he watch pain take over an tears threatening to leave your eyes when he told you,you deserved to be loved and cherished by the father of your kid.

“If I’ve learned anything,that life is a series of choices.I’m not my mother or my father,from now on I choose you” her voice was quiet as it threatened to break as Jake pulled her into his lap as his hand rubbed her side gently,as their lips met together in a kiss.

[eolewyn1010]

Dragging Frankenstein - Chapter 8

Time to make an innocent bystander suffer!

“A thousand times rather would I have confessed myself guilty of the crime […]” but “such a declaration would have been considered as the ravings of a madman" – And we can’t have people thinking you’re crazy. Got it. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 8

“I suffered living torture” – he can’t even feel bad for Justine without whining about how he suffers from his guilt.

Strange timing to note that Justine has grown up hot.

“confused and unintelligible answer” – well, that sure is weird from SOMEONE WHO WAS UP ALL NIGHT.

I’m not sure how to feel about the Creature being so insidious. Like, why pin it on Justine? William was a little twit and at least hurting him was hurting Victor, but how does Justine play into that?

Come to think of it, the creature’s hand prints on William’s neck must be way too big for Justine’s hands. Does no one here even look at the evidence they have? Do they just rely on gossip and witnesses (of which there are none)?

“I am the cousin of the unhappy child, or rather his sister”, or his mother, or his sister-in-law. Whatever. INCEST VIBES: 8

“acted like a most affectionate mother” – EVERY WOMAN IS A MOM: 7

“My own agitation and anguish was extreme during the trial” IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 9

Woe would be upon Victor if he ever realized that something in the world is not about him.

“the tortures of the accused did not equal mine” -.- This is so fucking entitled, it gets a double whammy. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 10

And then they actually BELIEVE that she’s guilty?? Even Victor doubts his conviction for a moment, what a fucking DUMBASS. Ugh, I can’t believe these people.

And I hate Justine’s confessor with a passion. That ain’t religious support; that is fucking emotional torture. And, as every torture, it gets a false confession.

“I soon shall see you in heaven” – uh, no, Justine, you’re about to die with a lie on your lips. According to your own convictions, you’re going to hell for perjury.

“The poor victim felt not as I did, such deep and bitter agony” …is Victor trying to set a record here or what? IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 11

He does fucking NOTHING. He just WATCHES the whole ordeal. He watches Justine die and feels oh so bad for himself and doesn’t say ONE FUCKING WORD. I haaaaaate him.

And again, Victor gets gratefulness he doesn’t deserve. Justine, darling. Don’t. He’s got nothing to be credited for; he’s literally delivering you to the scaffold for. I dunno, his reputation?

“her’s was also the misery of innocence” – I think Victor has fallen in love with that count. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 12

Justine’s farewell to Elizabeth is so bittersweet, ngl, and gets her a queer send-off. DAS GAY: 19

“my purposed avowal died away on my lips” – yeah, right, as if. God, I hate him so much this chapter.

This chapter just may be where Shelley deliberately has the entire God-Adam-Lucifer parallel crash and burn. Because according to the set-up, the role of Eve, one that's crucial for the Paradise Lost reference, is not filled. Eve is curious and proactive, as much a corrupter as she is corruptible - but female characters in Frankenstein are all passive, meek little saints with no agenda. Justine clearly is punished for being in possession of something she shouldn't have, but she is as pure as they come. So her being punished is a miscarriage of justice - and Victor, self-proclaimed God, fails to set this right. Whelp, someone has to take the fall, Justine. Bummer. By which I mean Victor deserves to suffer.

[maximumcheese]

221. Adjust

Rinne: “But hey, what’s ‘right’ is easily changed.”

“In fact, the image of the ‘ideal super idol’ that was once considered absolute justice, was the ideal that I was trying to embody—”

“In this day and age, it's considered the wrong interpretation.”

“Because we were crushed to death by ideas that kept coming outta left field, what we thought to be right turned out to be a mistake.”

“Such ‘revolutions’ are happening all over the world at this very moment.”

“Now, in your eyes, the ‘correct interpretation’ that the ES tells you may seem to be the universal and absolute truth, but—”

“What was it ten years ago? A hundred years ago? The time before that?”

“On the flip side, what about in ten years from now? A hundred years from now? What’s it gonna become in the distant future?”

“Will what you think to be ‘an idol’ keep true as the ‘real idol’ forever and ever?”

“I don’t think so. Even if I did, the ‘correct interpretation’ that ES talks about, sure as hell ain’t mine.”

“So that’s why I didn’t obey, I didn’t just complain, I pointed out their mistake and stabbed them with my actions.”

“So one-by-one, I corrected the ambiguous and wrong parts, and kept approaching that 'correct answer' in this crazy world.”

“The only way to survive is to continue those kinds of activities forever, changing and adapting—At least in this world.”

“Insects and humans are the same in that the moment they become ‘mistakes’, they are weeded out and destroyed.”

“However. Because I do like idols, I don’t want them to be destroyed.”[1]

“You think this is an exaggeration, don’t you? There’s a lot of people laughing, a lot of people confused, a lot of people who looked totally zoned out, you know?”

“That sorta’ thing don’t fuckin’ matter to me, because I’m serious here—”

“One time, I saw that idealized image of an idol, the one I always believed in, perish. They were all destroyed by an invasive species. I was one of those old-fashioned idols—So I went and died with them.”

“I want to make sure that destruction and death don’t extend to the concept of idols as a whole.”

“—I will not let the idols that I love be destroyed.”

Hiiro: “.........”

Rinne: “Well, that’s just spittin’ up big talk for nothing.”

“There’s nothing more I could do—I mean, that’s why I tried all this absurd shit, because I had already planned on dying.”

“As expected, I'm a little tired......”

“I’m happy with all the shit I wanted to do, and I’m already at the age where I just can’t take it……”

“At the end, this eyesore of a bee will disappear, I’ll go into retirement, and you guys can do as you would like.”

“I hope that you’ll always remember me. Maybe it’s fine not to remember the idol named Rinne Amagi at least—I hope you’ll remember at least a fragment of my prayer of a complaint.”

Aira: “......? Oh, were you expecting to be able to retire like a normal person?”

Rinne: “......Ah?”

Aira: “Thanks to the hard work of Alkaloid, you and the rest of Crazy:B will be able to escape being fired.”

“Under normal circumstances, If Rinne-senpai has the will, you can still continue your idol activities in the future, right?”

Rinne:“......Look, I’m real sorry for steppin’ on all your guys’ hard work, but are you fuckin’ kidding me? Hey, did I even ask for help a single time?”

“It’s none of your business, Alkaloid.”

Tatsumi: “Yes. It is our business, even if it’s just self-satisfying…”

Mayoi: “W-We are what we are because we are Alkaloid, because we are idols…”

“We have to help you guys, because we've decided to protect all of you.”

Rinne: “Nah~ Even if you say, “I’ve decided on it” that’s kinda……?”

“I’m no longer qualified to continue as an idol, you know? Do you know how much shit I got myself into, do you know how many people I’ve hurt?”

“No one wants to see a happy ending with smiles on everyone's faces, no one is wishing for such an opportunistic development or ending.”

“I, more than anyone else, couldn’t allow someone like Rinne Amagi, who’s unreasonably harmed idols and fans, to continue their idol activities in a completely normal, unperturbed manner.”

Aira: “Yeah. That’s right, I woulda said the same thing if I were in your position.”

“I’m still itchin’ to kick your ass for making Ryuuseitai, Undead, and Akatsuki—For making all those innocent people suffer.”

Rinne: “It’s fine, come at me. Even if you decide to kill me instead of just kickin’ my ass, I don’t give a shit, because I woulda just had a boring life in the countryside waitin’ for me.”

“Since, that’s as good as being dead, it wouldn’t make a difference if you kicked me to death right here.”

Hiiro: “Nii-san.”

Rinne: “.....What do you want, my little brother?”

Hiiro: “Fufun. My studious Nii-san, my Nii-san who knows everything, no matter what, I can finally teach you something for the very first time.”

Rinne: “? Ah?”

Hiiro: “You plan on going back home, correct?”

Rinne: “Huh? Why’re you talkin’ about this like it’s someone else’s problem…? The whole reason you came out from the countryside was to make me take over the family business, wasn’t it?”

“It’s a duty that only I’m fit for, and if I don’t fulfill it, the lives of all the country's inhabitants will collapse”

“If we’re unlucky, it’ll be destroyed. So someone’s gotta fulfill that duty, you know?”

“It’s the role I shoulda taken on in the first place, and since I’m an adult now—I ain’t gonna run away from that sorta responsibility.”

“I wanted to keep being an idol, you know, but at this point, no one wants something like that.”

“So then if that’s the case, I’ll at least go home, and live a life while doin’ the duty that other people actually want me to do.”

Hiiro: “Fufun. For the first time in my life, I can say that you’re a complete idiot, Nii-san.”

Rinne: “......Ah?”

Hiiro: “You really don’t know a single thing. Well, I feel similarly, Nii-san. Well, Nii-san, you’ve only lived just a little longer than me so—”

Rinne: “What are you trying to say, Hiiro?”

Hiiro: “Nii-san.”

“I want you to listen without being surprised. …In the city, there’s this thing called a smartphone.”

Rinne: “.........”

Hiiro: “Fufu, so you really don’t know what a smartphone is.”

“I just found out about it myself, and I'm not sure I can explain it well, but it's a kind of so-called portable machine—”

Rinne: “No, I know what it is. I just don't understand why you suddenly started talking to your onii-chan about smartphones, you know?”

For this line, Rinne uses "俺" (ore) to refer to himself, and he switches between this and his usual, more pompous, "俺っち" (orecchi) throughout the chapter.

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[infuriatedleprechaun]

OSTRACIZED

Chapter 11: Seduction

Chapters 1-10

HI GUYS! New chapter here! This one was fun to write, it’s more filler right before stuff pops off! but there’s a little Easter egg in this, a meme reference, and it was fun to reread and edit. Hope you guys enjoy!

RECAP: 

- "I'm so happy I found you. I was so worried. Mom and dad put posters everywhere-" "They.... They did? They're the ones that told me to leave" I frowned with confusion.

- "Yes, a sister company of TCRI I am doing more research into" he nodded, licking his lips as his eyes were glued to his 3 monitors. The light and parts of the screen reflecting off of his thick glasses as he ran his fingers over the keyboard rapidly. 

"What's it called?" I asked. 

"Silver" my shoulders slumped, my eyes grew wide.

- "We have a hit on the guy. April is coming over real quick to make a plan. She knows where we can find him" both our eyes widened at that. That would be an insane break through.

warning: unwelcomed grabby hands at some point, I thinks that’s it. Idk, lemme know guys

Seduction

I settled for putting my sweats on over my pajamas, along with my very baggy and oversized sweatshirt (Raph might fit an arm into this thing, it was that baggy) and headed to the living room where April was waiting.

I sat on the couch, expecting one of my brothers to squish into me, (Mikey lived for it, I found it hilarious.) But when Raph walked in front of me, smoothly picked me up, sat where I was, I was confused at first, until he set me down on his lap.

He looked around as if daring someone to say anything about it. I was simultaneously a pile of goo and embarrassed. Not about him, but I was just not used to all of this, like really not used to this. My heart was melting though, Raph was fantastic.  

April came in, saw me in his lap, his chin resting on my head. His whole body hunched over mine. Her eyebrows shot up but she had a knowing smile on her face.

No, not a knowing smile. I knew that smile, she was plotting. I don't know what, but she was, I looked at her unsure, and she winked at me.

"Hey! You April?" That was Ana as she came through the door.

"Naw. That ain't her. It's a different human female that comes down here" Ana didn't seemed fazed by how Raph and I were at least, she was insanely good at reading people, she knew before we did, how close we were probably. Simply because she knows me so well.

"I mean. There's chief Vincent too" Don said in Ana's defense

"You know Raph? You talk real big for someone who gives tactical croc vibes" any and all body movement around me stopped. I swear I heard dial up noises from Raph brain, trying to process what the actual hell Ana said.

"I-what does that mean?"

"Proving my point" Mikey started to laugh really hard at Raph's expression, giving the woman a high five.

"Its called a real life shit post" Ana explained to her new best friend.

"I freaking love it" Mike sat down, squishing up against Raph.

"Nice to meet you" Ana finished, April was snickering at her.

"Nice to meet you too I think we'll get along just fine" The black haired woman had a sparkle to her blue eyes

"Cool. April likes my girl friend" Mikey yanked the woman he supposedly claimed, down to sit next to him and pulled her into a hug, squishing her face to his obnoxiously but it was super cute at the same time.

She didn't even have time to respond, and now she was too busy laughing. Clearly she though it was adorable too.  

"Wow. That was quick"

"A lot better than the last one" Leo muttered as he came in.

"Last one?" Ana honed in on that. I was giving Leo a look of warning, my sister was probably armed with something. Even if it wasn't a gun. Though I would be surprised if it wasn't a firearm.

"Mikey found a she devil and decided to date her" Raph said quickly before I could stop him.

"What. Was she a bitch to you?" Ana turned to the now unusually quiet turtle, saw his face, how hurt and scared he was. Quickly put two and two together.

"Where's this bitch? I just wanna talk to her" sure enough, she pulls a hurking, hunting bowie knife out, it was a familiar snow cammo one.

"Is that mine?" I said accusingly

"What?" That was Raph. I immediately buttoned my lip.

"Where did you even pull that from" Leo blinked.

"Don't worry about it. There's more where that came from though" a smile found its way to Mikey's face at her shenanigans.

"If I just shook you, would more come out?" Leo raised a brow as Ana stood up, and began to back up.

"Don't you DARE big blue" Ana was kind of fast, meanwhile Leo was VERY fast, she yelped, dropping the knife, lord knows Leo wasn't scared of blades.

Then she started to laugh when Leo turned her upside down, holding onto her by her ankle so easily, and began to gently shake her like a dirty rug.  

Mike was laughing hysterically now. I grinned at him, realizing what Leo was doing. He wanted his brother to laugh, to feel better, the sweetie pie.

"Wait wait wait. Leo. Stop. Mike, get a camera, I have an idea" Leo perked his head at her, his muscles in his arm and shoulder flexed when he lifted her high enough so they were damn near face to face.

"What is your idea?" He challenged as Mikey got his phone out.

"Sis. What's the exercise with the dumb bell, behind the back, you literally called them "behind the backs"" I looked up at the ceiling in thought.

"Oh. The one that works triceps.  Dumb bell extensions?"

"Yes! Leo. Do you know what those are? And hurry up because the blood is rushing to my head" he nodded, looking amused, Raph wasn't the only one that liked weight lifting, they were both ripped and shredded for a reason.

"Alright. Bear with me here, do that to me" Mikey immediately covered his mouth, knowing exactly where she was going with this. Perfect pose now, Leo was holding her like a fish. Mike took a picture, and he was laughing so hard the entire time, if the picture came out right it would be a miracle.

"Alright. Leo. Put me behind your back, and do a dumbbell extension"

"Where you going with this?" Leo demanded.

"I'm trying to reenact a meme!" She explained. The leader in blue rolled his eyes.

"You and your memes" he did what she asked though, swung her behind him, careful to make sure she didn't get banged up on his shell, then put the other hand on her ankle.

"Do a silly face Leo. Mike get the picture" the poor turtle in orange was laughing so hard he couldn't even hold his phone up at this point.

April bit her lip in amusement, snatched his phone, and then took the pic for him.

Mikey's face was buried in the couch, his body shuffling with his laughter. It got contagious, everyone else started snickering. Leo carefully set Anastasia down, she tucked her head in so she would harmlessly land on her back, and she was also laughing hysterically as she picked her knife back up and sheathed it.

"Grade A performance Chris Hemsworth" she said through her laugh, wiping tears away. She couldn't even get up because she was doubled over and light headed from dangling.

"April! April! Lets see the picture. You saint. Good save!" Ana carefully got up. Going to Mikey and April who was eagerly scrolling through the pictures. All three saw the picture and started laughing all over again.

"You are such dumb asses" Raph shook his head, but he wasn't able to hide his own amusement.

"Mark me down for love struck dumb ass, bruh" Mikey beamed

"As love struck as she's packing" Mikey. Like everyone else was finally reducing his laughter down to giggles.

"Not packing as much as you, cutie" Ana smiled innocently

"I don't have my chucks on me" I'm no social genius, maybe I just knew my sister too well? But I knew where she was going with this.

"Oh bless your heart. That wasn't what I was talking about" ladies and gentlemen. My sister singlehandedly made the mouthiest, loudest turtle brother shocked into silence. AND blush.

"You're so cute when you blush. I'll definitely make you do it more" there was a guilty grin on her face now, she definitely looked like she was going to keep true to her word with that.

"I.... Mikey found an equally as pervy and meme addicted as him: woman. Fate really does have a plan" Donnie was in disbelief.

"Guys I'm so in love. I feel like Raph when Abby threw him the first time"

"What does that mean" I heard them mention the same past events with us twice now and I was so confused.

"I'll tell ya later" he promised with an amused rumble.

"Appreciate it" I grinned. I was just a smiling goof ball lately, I wasn't even mad, it felt so amazing.

"Alright" Leo slapped his hands together, looking at April.

"Lets cut to the chase. You said you know who he is, and where he'll be next" the pretty black haired woman nodded.

"And I have a plan" she added. Leo was the one that usually had the plans, so when April mentioned it, he was very intrigued.

"A Ryan Leakly. Yes. Abby and I are going to comicon, finding him, and seeing if he'll open up to us"

"Why you 2?" That was Raph quickly intervening. Maybe bristling.

"I always wanted to go to a comicon" my eyes lit up.

"Same" Donnie grinned. I pointed at him excitedly. It looks like we were going to comicon! I knew Mikey and even Leo would be down too. Mike loved videogames and Leo (though he hid it) loved comics, you learn a lot about people when you cleaned their rooms.

"Well Raphie? We're going to dress up and be in the scene, Abby would be a good candidate in case things went south quickly. You guys can be on standby there, and she can be at the ready" April shrugged.

We got to dress up? Yes! I wonder what we were dressing up as! Admittedly, I was a nerd, and always wanted to cosplay.

Leo and Raph exchanged looks in thought, not knowing how they liked the idea of this plan.

"Please?" I begged, in favor of April, this sounded like so much fun! I haven't been out and doing something like this in years!

"This is a mission, not a vacation. I'm worried about you getting distracted and then hurt" Leo frowned.

"I won't. We'll be fine" I promised.

"Raph, what's your input?" The leader sighed, he clearly wasn't on board with this fully.

"Abby. You think you can do this?" I felt him look down at me. I made eye contact and nodded happily. He sighed, clearly not wanting me to be on board with this, and then nodded.

"Alright"

"We'll have eyes on them" Leo assured his brother. I was so excited now! I got to go to comicon! And hang out more with April, I bet it'll be so much fun with her.

"I'm coming too" Ana decided.

"Fine. But stay out of the way in case anything happens" you could tell Leo wasn't in the mood to pick that battle.

"What are we going as?" I asked, and then immediately regretted it. I don't know why, but the look she gave me made me nervous.

"What?" Came my nervous follow up question.

"My house. Right now. We're going to figure out" something tells me we weren't going in cosplay...

.

.

I changed, and then stood in April's apartment, wide eyed, and questioning my decision.

She came out of her closet with a couple dresses, some skirts, and some shirts that appeared to be missing their midsection, she even got some bras out.

"Well? Get to it, let's see what you're wearing" she had a smirk.

"April I have never dressed this way in my life"

"Perfect. Lets see how you look" she was not about to back down. Oh god. I waited another moment, looking at her with pleading eyes. But all she did was motion with her hand to get a move on. I groaned and began to strip down to my bra, looking at her selection.

"What size do you wear?"

"34 DDD"

"Are you serious?? Why are you always wearing such baggy clothing?" She seemed appalled

"I wear what's comfortable" I explained bluntly. I put one of her bras on, it did not fit. My breasts were basically spilling out of it. I frowned and went to take it off but she stopped me.

"Perfect" why was she doing this?

"Girl. What are you doing? You look amazing you're so cut, and you're always covering yourself up. We're changing that. I'm going to make a grown man cry" what? I didn't like hurting peoples' feelings.

"Who are going to make cry? Leakly?" Why were we going to do that? Because be was a bad guy? Still a little messed up

"Sure. We'll put a show on for that creep, but he's not the one I'm excited about" I was so unbelievably lost.

"April… you're confusing me"

"Put this on." It was a long sleeved belly shirt. I've never even tried on a belly shirt before, I've never been more unsure in my life.

"You've got muscle tone and you're really fit. I know why Raphie is losing his mind over you." she smiled. I blushed, as I slipped my arms in, and slipped my head through the shirt.

My delts and arms looked lithe and small, my breasts looked, like, fake and huge, and it really drew attention to my now well toned stomach.

"And this!" She gave me and insanely short skirt. I barely wore short shorts, this is just insane. But I humored her, slipped out of my pants, and slid her skirt on. She bit her lip at what she saw.

"Oh. Seducing him is going to be too easy"

"WE'RE DOING WHAT?!?" April laughed at my exclamation. I couldn't do something like that! What would Raph think??? I never want him to feel jealous or hurt, especially if I inflicted it.

"Sweety. Sweety calm down. This is going to be A-mazing. Raph isn't going to react the way you think he will. Trust me" I couldn't help but to examine myself, and then try to cover myself up. I've had swimsuits leave more to the imagination than this!

"I am so not going out like this" I warned her. She was changing into a different outfit, something along the same lines: short skirt, belly shirt, and she put some heals on.  

"No. You're not. We need to get your eyebrows done, hair, and make up done. And THEN you're going to comicon" this is it. This is what she was plotting that night. What was her end game with all this?? She shoved some wedges near me and I blankly started to put them on, just to see if they would even fit.

I looked at her, exasperated. I can't do this, why did she pick me for this whole thing? Seducing someone? What? I was perfectly the WRONG person to do that. I don't even know how to Flirt. Why not just get Ana? She'd be perfectly fit for it.

"Let's go"

"No wait!" Too late, she dragged me out her door, and I have never been so hypersensitive of gazes and looks in my life, honestly I was so self conscious.  

.

.

"Where are the girls at? They're supposed to be home soon" Leo was getting a bit worried. They needed to get to comicon and start their mission, hopefully nothing happened to them.

"Abby has been texting me, keeping in contact. She said they're on the way" Raph told his brother. Leo nodded.

"Everyone geared up and ready to go?"

"Depends. How many guns can I bring into comicon?"

"Don't make me shake you again" Leo warned to which he got a snicker from her.

"Yooo. This is gonna be lit! Leo. Can Don and I just walk around?" Mikey chirped excitedly.

"No you can not"

"But we can just pretend we're cosplaying!" Mikey whined.

"Mike. This is a mission. We aren't there to play. And risking yourself like that is just insane"

"Have you met him?" Donnie asked the eldest in a flat tone. There was a knock on the door, but it was opened before any of them could answer it.

"Guys. Are you ready for this?" The guys couldn't help but to gawk a bit at April. It wasn't abnormal for her to show herself off a bit.

"Damn girl!" Nope. That wasn't Mikey, that was Anastasia. Mikey was yet again: laughing at the woman next to him.

"How was my Mikey impersonation? spot on? Because we were all thinking it. Let's be honest" Ana grinned at all the looks she got.

"That's what you're going to comicon in? What about Abbigail?" Raph narrowed his eyes a little in suspicion.

"Just wait for it. Abby get in here!" She seemed so excited.

"I am not going in there April. How did you even get me out of your apartment?" She all but whimpered.

"Abby? You ok?" Raph asked while wondering what it was that April did to her, he started to walk towards the door but April held a hand out to him to stop him, amusement in her eyes.

"She's fine. She's just bashful. After I got her to wear her outfit I dragged her out of my apartment before she could process it and it finally occurred to her how she looks. It's adorable" April smiled at them.

"Come on Abby~" she all but sang.

"I am not" she decided firmly. It also sounded like she was trying to go back down the sewers to leave even.

"No. Nope" April went out the door, a little 'yeep' was heard, and she carefully dragged her back into the room, lightly enough to not make her trip on her high heels.

The room very quickly grew silent, Abby didn't even look like herself. Her hair was down and curled, she was wearing make up like she never did. And her clothing was something the boys never seen her wear, was this even Abby???

"April. I am so mortified right now" Abby was frozen, staring at the ground, the boys were just in a state of shock. Once they got their minds back they looked at Raph who was staring HARD. His situation was DEFINITELY more than just a little shock.

The red banded turtle swallowed, once. They swear they saw his breathing pick up a little. His eyes were shamelessly glued to her.

"Raph.... I can change clothes real quick" the poor woman looked so ridiculously nervous and uncomfortable.

"If you're changing clothes its for you and you alone" his voice was a bit raspy, he cleared his throat. He walked up to her, taking her in, very slowly, observing every curve. Her legs  and ass were large from squats, waist tiny from core exercises, and she hit the push ups hard so her breasts were plenty large. Everything was perfectly defined in the clothing.

He got just a little closer to her, towering over her. Lord help him, he needed some strength to focus on this mission, and he'd need all the help he could get.

"You being in a busy room is your only saving grace from me right now" he murmured lowly into her ear. Her bright blue eyes got brighter when her pupil constricted in shock.

Her face got so red, Raph couldn't believe she was his, she was prettier than any model he's ever seen, with the heart to match it. And he couldn't wait to show her physically, Abby felt an anticipated shiver go up her spine. April was so smug as she watched the couple interact.

"Told you he'd like it" she bit her lip.

"Who are you. What did you do with my sister. Got damn" Ana was covering her mouth. Their parents would flip, God she wishes she could have a reaction from them right now. Make her day.

"April, this had nothing to do with your plan for Leakly" Abby turned her attention on her accusingly.

"It still is. This is just a bonus" April walked up to Raph and an overly flustered Abby. Well, both were flustered, Raph was just a predatory flustered. She was loving this so much, this was hilarious. And would hopefully get these two to get a move on.

"So. What is the full plan here? Because you two aren't blending in like that" But typically Leo's plans would veer in the shadows, not making a scene, etc. This was quite literally the opposite. The leader was also finding the situation amusing though, He's never seen Raph react this way, he understood why though

If it wasn't for the mannerisms and gentleness only Abby could have, he wouldn't even believe it was her. She looked like a completely different person from a magazine.

"Sometimes standing out is the thing to go for Leo. We get close to this guy. See if he'll give us answers" April winked at him.

"You'll definitely get his attention" the turtle leader assured, really unsure about this now.

"Raph. She wants us to seduce him" Abby panic in the main ambiance of her hushed tone.

"Yeah she does. You'll knock him dead babe" the hot head grinned. Dear lord Raph was more than ok with this, in fact it was along the lines of him being IN to this.  

"Come on. You already walked all over New York like that. You'll be fine" April assured her friend.

"I cant believe I am doing this" Abby wanted to back out, but she wanted to be there for April. She was depending on her for her first line of protection, that was a really big responsibility.  

"I can't even flirt" Abby looked at Raph and April.

"You don't need to" Raph assured, she'd be turning all the male minds into goo.

"I'll do all the talking, just look pretty and help me distract him" April assured. Clearly Abby wasn't making any progress here, it was pointless to keep fighting.

"Ok" she sighed. Look pretty? She usually dressed like a tom boyish slob, this was going to take A LOT to get used to.  

April and Abby turned to leave the lair, and Raph casually checked out Abby's ass in the skirt as she moved along, this turtle actually bit his fist a bit and closed his eyes a little as Leo walked up next to him.

"Brother. Give me strength to focus" his tone was low.

"I'll just get Mikey to annoy you into focusing" Leo slapped his shoulder obnoxiously as he passed him.

"Right on" Mikey cheered a little, and followed the leader.

.

.

Comicon was packed, and I was almost distracted enough by all the things to look at.. If I wasn't getting a hole stared through me every 17 seconds, this is not how I wanted my first time to go. If I was wearing like, some cool cosplay then I wouldn't have minded, but that was not the case.

"How did I get you to convince me to do this?" I said over the loud noise in the area. It would be a lot easier to stay focused now at least.

"You're going to do just fine" April assured.

"If I transform, I'm going to ruin your nice clothes" I warned.

"Eh. They'll get ruined one way or another tonight" wh-what. What? What did THAT mean?

"One thing you should know about Raph. He likes being territorial" April smirked at me. And that made me worried. I didn't want him to feel the need to do that-

"No. Abby. You misunderstand. He LIKES to be territorial. Show off, be up against this guy. You're going to drive him crazy the entire time" she giggled.

"Trust me" well. Raph knew people grossed me out. So I was hoping he'd remember that if I got down and dirty, my version of it anyway. Hugs to strangers was dirty for me if I was being honest.

I put the ear piece in, messed with my phone, and continued to follow April.

I carefully looked up at the support beams of the building, looking for my lover, I couldn't help it, he had a death grip on my heart and my mind was on him a lot lately.

"I'm here, baby" even over an earpiece his voice rumbled pleasantly in my ear, I couldn't help a smile on my face.

"Don't get distracted" April gently grabbed my wrist and waltzed along, everyone moving out of her way as she strut what she had. I was not about to do that, but I was impressed by the sass and confidence. Need me some of that.

There was art of all kinds from different fandoms everywhere, and as much as I wanted to stop and look, I refrained. It was basically like if you were able to walk through tumblr in person in here. And maybe meet a famous person or two, though that was a bit expensive.

"Alright, this guy should be here by now, so let's see if we can find him" I was not good at that either. I never really studied people enough or stared at them hard enough to remember features, I swear my memory with people was just terrible, I really was the worst possible candidate for this job. Maybe it was because I tended to not care what they looked like? I don't know.

"Over there. By the anime body pillows" April motioned lowly.

"Can't we just kidnap him?"

"No, he's leading a vital project for the company, we need to figure out what it is" April said.

"Say the word, I'll kidnap him, get back to the lair faster, and we can have some alone time" Raph said over the earpiece.

"Raph, stop giving her ideas" Leo huffed.

"Can I think about it?" I begged the leader, as if pretending there was anything to actually think about, that sounded like an amazing plan.

"No. Start moving in you 2" Leo quickly ordered.

"You heard him, fun time later" April poked.

gently weaved our way around the large rivers of the crowd, pretending to look at other stuff to not draw too much attention from this guy too quickly.

Finally, April marched us up next to him, I could tell she was strategizing on how to start a conversation, but when I saw what he was looking at, I moved in.

"My Hero Academia fan?" This 30+ year old man, was looking at a body pillow of a teenage anime girl, I could ignore or put up with a lot, but this? was so creepy. The man looked surprised, and then smiled at me, I smiled back sweetly, but man it was not genuine.

"Yeah, you watched it?" he smelled of BO and his breath was rank. I was supposed to seduce this man? I was repulsed by damn near everyone, but this was a whole new level.

"A little. I love Deku and Almight's relationship. It's very wholesome" I've watched this series once, and that was damn near all my knowledge of the anime. But clearly it was enough because the man's smile got bigger, and he got closer to me, April seemed impressed by my ability to charm this weeb.

"Hi. I'm Megan, this is Stephanie" April introduced herself, she was wearing a wig so he shouldn't be able to pick her out as the famous news reporter she actually was.

"Someone go get Cris Hansen" Mikey said over the communication link, I gave a genuine smile at him this time and it was to hide the laugh and real smile I wanted to give Mikey at the hilarious joke.

"Megan, Stephanie, so great to meet you nice ladies, what are women like you doing in a place like this? You nerds?"

"Oh totally" April was playing a flawless ditsy girl.

"I'm Ryan. So what are you into?" He was getting excited

"Little bit of everything, Megan likes Dr. Who, I'm a big fan of Supernatural" I was playing along with this, least I can do is have fun. I could see the shine of pride in April's eyes for making for a good ditsy fangirl too.

"Very nice. Well as you can see, this is my scene"

"Yeah! That's like, so cool!" She had such a good fake smile as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Would you like to walk with us?" April asked excitedly.

"Give us a tour? We just got here" She pouted a little.

"Oh absolutely!" He grinned, and held his arms out, ew, gross, no. I didn't want to do this, but if we were going to get into his head, we were going to have to go for his body I guess. I know allosexual people tended to be easy to hypnotize with sex, he already proved it was on his mind with the body pillows.

April and I both wrapped an arm around his, April watching me and holding it close her body, biting her lip a little at him as we walked. She was giving me instructions, how far before Raph would get upset with me though? I really didn't want to find out, and I was so grossed out touching him at all!

"You're doing great baby. Keep it up" Raph said to me, again, making me genuinely smile, and this idiot thought it was directed at him.  

"So, who's your favorite character in MHA?" He continued to look at me.

"I totally like Bakugo his temper cracks me up, but he's so funny later on" I was getting the weird accent down.

"Big fan of hot heads?" Raph snickered at me

"Stop distracting her" Leo scolded.

"Raph has more testosterone up here alone than all the men in this building combined" Donnie tattled on his brother. Noooo Don't make me blush guys! But I did, and the creep seemed to be digging it, if only he knew. I think he was saying something, but I was definitely not paying attention because I was distracted on my REAL love interest.

"I love Mr. Aizowa" he told me. When I looked at him in confusion he clarified.

"The teacher"

"Oh that's so funny! WE are teachers!" April smiled.

"Damn she's good" Mike said.

"Yeah, fourth grade. What do you do?" I looked overly excited to find out.

"Bio engineer. I actually work in a lab, and have been working on a project" April and I both in unison: made our faces light up, with some overdramatized "wooooow"s.

"You sound like, so smart" I leaned into his arm, letting my breast rub up against it.

"You do. That's so impressive!" April captured him in a trance with her sapphire eyes.

"Can you tell us anymore, we're like DYING to know" April bit her lip.

"Oh... not really supposed to..." but he was teetering.

"Please? I'm a total sucker for a nerd" I pressed myself closer in his arm, trying not to show my disgust, or tense my body. He looked down at my breasts against his arm. And then the smile he gave me was nasty beyond all belief.

"We made a project to go up against our sister company. On the brink to discovering the last key factors of it" that was a tidbit of VERY important information.

"Woooow. That is amazing!" I smiled. His arm went from my front, where he snaked it around and got a handful of my ass. I couldn't help my quick, disgusted reaction of moving away from him. That's when I realized I messed up. His face fell, he seemed to be snapping out of hypnotic state April and I had him in.

Then quickly went for his wrist, pressing something. Several men moved from the crowd, they were blending in well, and started to charge at April and I. Bodyguards.

One went to strike April, but a green hand caught it, my green hand, I finished my transformation. And threw that guy into another guy. More blows tried to come at me, but I was a lot stronger than them, even if they landed hits, they weren't going to do anything to this form.

"What the hell!" Ana said from her place by the turtles. Leo and Raph took off, Mike and Don hung back for now.

"We'll explain later" Don said sheepishly. Ana took a breath, and realized her new life was probably going to be full of surprises like this, she might want to get used to it.

"Side note: Raph's gonna be squaring up, and the dude he'll be fighting is gonna be like: ah! Help! He's got a boner!" Ana told Mikey, doing her best impression on Beavis and Butthead. Mikey and Donnie both got a kick out of that one, Don even giving an adorable nerd snort.

I transformed back when Raph and Leo got to the scene to continue the fight. The people of the convention were scrambling around at the sudden commotion.

"Follow him!" Leo pointed at a fleeing Ryan. Raph, myself, and April made a beeline for the garbage truck outside. Don and Mike making it to the door first, the jokester had the other jokester tucked under one of his arms. When we made it outside, a black Lincoln pulled up to the front of the building to swoop him up.  

The boys picked us up, and high tailed it to the truck, tossing us in gently and taking their places. Leo hit the gas hard the second it was started and in gear. The wheels broke a bit, and peeled off as we quickly started to catch up to the Lincoln.

"He's going back to the lab. Ain't he?" Raph said from next to me as he put a blanket over me for me to cover me up, save whatever dignity I had left.

"Yes. And something tells me we are about to go up against what he was talking about. What better thing to save him?" Leo said darkly as he stayed on their tails.

"Not before I whoop his ass for touching Abby" Raph assured with narrowed eyes. Man I hoped I wouldn't have to do anything like this again.

NEXT CHAPTER!

@mysticboombox​ @thelaundrybitch​ @selfless1978​ @katecupcakekate  

[xamassed]

⟬ @gamenu​ ⟭

“Mammon!” Running right up to him, she stops just short of colliding into him. Smiling up at him, Nicole is positively beaming with excitement and mild confusion as well.

“Lucifer said we can go on tha’ lil trip. He said we gotta take Solomon wi’ us? Somethin’ abou’ witches youse go’ pacts wi’? An me no’ bein’ able ta protect ya…so I gotta know, wha’ would I be protectin’ ya from?”

Excitement looked gorgeous on her, and seeing it bright across the whole of her already darling face made it contagious. Mammon wasn’t a stranger to brushing off other peoples enthusiasm, but since meeting her, he wanted to be excited for her ( and in this case, with her. )

But as quickly as it came, the good mood was gone. Dashed. Swept away.

“What, why d’we gotta bring him wi——?” The answer was given before he had time to ask the rest of the question. A jolt of fear traveled up his spine, and with it came a horribly dark sense of dread. For a moment, he didn’t answer, since he anticipated that the mention of them alone would have them blowing up his D.D.D. Nothing came, but the knot in his gut still remained.

“It’s, uh. . . Damn, I thought I told ya this already.” He had mulled it over, had rehearsed it once or twice, but the opportunity to sit her down and tell her eluded him to the point that he assumed he’d gone through it it.

Mammon was so set on keeping the arrangement a secret that even his brothers didn’t know, save for Lucifer. He was the one to help arrange it, after all, but he had been decent enough not to let the others know. No one needed to know, except for the woman he had fallen madly in love with. He wanted to believe that it wouldn’t hurt to let her know, but he feared judgement no matter how tolerant and understanding she had proven herself to be.

“Alright, first of all, don’t talk about ‘em! I swear they’ve got ears that can hear people talkin’ about ‘em all the way from another realm. Even callin’ ‘em ‘ the witches ’ gets ‘em all worked up. Second, ya gotta swear t’me a million times ya ain’t gonna tell anyone! I mean it, no one knows about this but Lucifer, and even he’s been cool about not lettin’ my other brothers know.”

Hesitation wrinkled at his nose, but it wasn’t because he didn’t want her to know. He never knew how to word himself properly, but knew he needed to try. Maybe, this time, he didn’t need to start with words. Instead, he held out his arm and pulled down the sleeve of his signature jacket, revealing to her the three small pact marks that started from his wrist and stopped in the middle of his forearm.

“There are these three annoyin’ witches up in the Human Realm that ask me for my money and time. I can’t really deny ‘em ‘cause we’ve got a deal goin’ on right now.” He could never tell when to stop telling her the truth, and his love for her was to blame. “My brothers know about the witches and that they’re bleedin’ me dry, but they don’t know it’s cause there’s this girl I’m kind’a, sort’a helpin’ take care of.”

He pulled his sleeve back down, but not without a disgusted snarl. It took every ounce of his restraint not to scratch at the marks.

“It’s a long story, but I found her gettin’ picked on, tried t’scare her off, but she wasn’t havin’ it. Learned her parents died, so she was alone. I didn’t wanna leave her on her own, so Lucifer got in touch with those witches, and they’ve been takin’ care of her since.” He shrugged, as if it wasn’t a big deal, but there was a golden sparkle in his eye that was equal parts pride and joy. He didn’t need to say that he cared for the girl. It was abundantly clear he did. “I can’t really deny ‘em ‘cause I can’t risk Mari not gettin’ what she needs. So if we go to the Human Realm for a bit, they’ll know. They might call on me.”

That was where he deflated, heavy eyes intent on Nicole’s.

“They ain’t nice, Nic. They ask me t’stay out late, they take all’a what I got on me, even if it ain’t much. I know I blow my money and party a lot as it is, but if yer with me, I don’t wanna do any’a that stuff. I wanna hang out with you, not lick the boots’a some selfish witches.”

He paused, gaze flicking to the floor in shame.

“I bet ya Lucifer didn’t say we ought’a bring Solomon for my sake. It’s cause he knows I can’t say no to ‘em, and Solomon’s gonna be there t’keep ya company when I can’t. And I dunno how the hell yer gonna protect me from ‘em. They’re snakes, all three of ‘em! They won’t listen t’me, so what are you gonna do?”

[femme-enby]

Vent, but also if even one person bothers to read this, feel free to lemme know if and how I’m wrong because I am mad confused and frustrated.

I loooove working a job where I’m expected to work two different jobs, get windburn, drown in the condensation of my nose, work in an area that isn’t suited for me no matter what they say and unable to move to a better suited area, get put into a second position that also is not meant for me and causing the previously mentioned issues…

and be threatened with being banned from the seasonal job I actually do well in (both as an employee and in regards to mental and physical health) if I quit.

Truly a job that embodies the “holiday spirit” that they keep talking about, and toooootally values their employees.

All sarcasm.

I hate it. I hate the lack of even basic human respect from my own management, the manipulation especially since they’re putting a lot of the people who definitely prefer the other seasonal option into the more strenuous and stressful positions because they know the threat will work on plenty of them, the hypocrisy…

The fact that I’d take last seasons absolutely RABID guests over this, considering they made me heavily reconsider applying for this last season, is incredibly telling.

I wouldn’t suggest this to anyone, which is exactly where companies fuck up.

When they don’t ensure that their employees at least feel like they’re given an inch, just some basic human respect, then they lose returning employees and people communicate- whether you rehire them or not.

I keep hearing about people who have already quit. They ain’t gotta be here for me to hear it, and why they did.

At least one person is TRYING to get ahold of HR… although that is a whole debacle on it’s own, which raises more issues. It should not be hard to talk to HR. While HR at my previous job left plenty to be desired, at the very least we were ENCOURAGED to simply walk into HR if we needed to, AND be on the clock to do so- even would have us clock in early if need be.

HR shouldn’t be a whole fight to talk to, it shouldn’t be a fight at all for some basic human decency to begin with!

It’s insanity, and it will bite them in the ass. Sooner rather than later at this point, because ain’t anyone happy about the current situation, and it would likely take a lot to fix it, especially if they stick to their guns this whole season.

What’s that sayin? A lack of preparation on your part, doesn’t constitute and emergency on mine? Yeah. Just because they’re struggling to find people, doesn’t mean they should be doin this shit. Have less of whatever is necessary for the betterment of the employees, as that will result in better quality for the guests.

Idk about y’all, but I’d rather see a 3 float parade with all the safety people in place, avoiding running over someone, than a 10 float parade with bare minimum safety people and someone getting hurt because those who are working the parade are NOT comfortable.

Seriously… either I’m focused on safety or I’m trying to “fix my face” because I know a lot of the time my “smile” just looks like o_o and if I use teeth it just looks like I’m baring my teeth. Add in trying to be in character, emotionally prepping myself to perform, and still trying to scan and keep pace and be prepared?

Got me working a potentially (literally!) sticky position with sensory issues, and no easy way to clean my hands within the area? Got people stressed already bc they struggle with dyslexia or simply struggled in English literature classes in school in a position that is apparently focused on reading and writing? Not letting those people relocate or even just switch with someone else, which would ensure the same amount of people working? Approving then revoking approval of a stage name and giving someone a name that can be perceived as a reference to their weight?

Like, yeah I’m fuckin weird, but I know I ain’t wrong about at least SOME of these things being fucked up.

[chimaareyouotayy]

Journal #2 9.29.2022

I am not upset about how my girl is acting. I totally understand where is she coming from because I was just like that when I was her age. Lost, confused, indecisive, scared and worried. I had a conversation with her and she just feels lost especially after she graduated college. She felt like nothing was going her way from job to friendship and I totally get where she is coming from. When I graduated college I was so lost, scared and worried if I was going to land a job. Thankfully I was able to get a job and accomplish many things. I want to help her but this is not something I can help her with. This is something she needs to figure it out on her own. I told her I will always be here for her so don’t worry about me for now and just take care of herself. I called that respecting her personal space? 😂 fuck am I talking about hahaha. But I truly respect her space sometime being a relationship can be tough. I don’t blame her for being distant with me cause of this. Imagine waking up every day feeling lost I would feel sad too. I was sad that was me when I was 22 - 23 for the whole year cause I felt lost. What I learn from that time was that key to happiness is to do what you love and keep educating yourself. When I say do what you love I do not mean go out party and be stupid. I’m talking about building a business, becoming a boxer, becoming a fitness person whatever that is that benefits you health and mental is what I found was my key to happiness.

I opened up a business in 2018 and we are still going strong. I’m 2019 I started my masters and graduated this year in 2022. That’s when I knew my purpose in life was to do something and not just this bullshit ass 9-5 job. I always tell this to the people my 9-5 is to pay my rent. My business pays for trips, new shoes, investment into stocks, jewelry and also able to take out my girl out somewhere nice. I knew I was never a person who just settle for 9-5 that can not be me. Once I got the idea to on how to run business, I signed up to become a model for these Japanese companies and start making connections. That was my happiness and I never been this happy in my life. Going back to what I was saying my girl needs to find that in her. She is amazing with painting and I am not sure why she doesn’t pursue it but again that’s her decision so I respect it. To me life is what you make out of it. If you complain every god Damn damn about how you hate life then life is going to hate you back and give you hell. But I pray my girl will find that soon and be happy so we can both we happy together! But again that’s her job to find it not mine.

I had a great conversation with one of my staff and we were talking about alcohol and how I stopped drinking heavy like I used to. I was telling him that my body is my temple why drink alcohol to hurt my body and gain weight and just why do that ? Drinking is fun don’t get me wrong but my thinking now is what am I getting out of this ? Headaches ? Hangover? Bad decisions? Like why out my self thru that for temporary enjoyment. I just never understood that as I get older and older. I am 27 now and honestly I see life so differently. Alcohol i see it as devil’s juice (nothing good happens with alcohol.) drugs I just don’t get it anymore get high and what?? Lol weed is the only exception because with out weed my brand would of not exist. Hoes, that shit got old super quick. Having hoes was “cool” back when we were in HS and College but once you get out of that having hoes ain’t really ain’t that great. I just seen so people around me still fuckin with these hoes but can’t never find the one. I’m just done with this shit you know? That is why I think I’m so like locked in with my girl and support her stuff and shit she be going thru. Real man try to understand the women and try to up lift.

Anyways enough with this gospel shit I just wana say again thank you to my sister cause this place have been a best place for me because I can just spill all the shit and I feel good about it.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Floating Through Space - Harry Styles

a/n: im literally bursting from excitement over this, i’ve been working on this fic for so long and im pretty satisfied with how it turned out so i hope you’ll like it too! pleas please PLEASE don’t let this flop bc it means a lot to me 🥺 the song featured in the fic is obviously an existing one, i linked it into the right place so you can listen to it and get the vibe of it, that song is what inspired the whole story so i recommend giving it a listen! leave your thoughts and reactions, i can’t wait to read what you thought about the fic!!

pairing: Harry x Famous!Reader

warning: drug use, smut and everything thats wrong with patriarchy lmao

word count: 25.7k

masterlist

This dressing room is no different than the other one thousand you’ve been to. The plaster on the wall is all cracked up, the red bricks peeking from under it in the corner, the dusty couch looks like it’s been through hell and just sitting on it would probably give you STDs. The mirror on the wall is cracked, the few water bottles you’ve gotten are not even cooled, they’re a warm room temperature. The glorious life of a musician, right?

Moments like this you question why you didn’t just choose to be the obedient daughter and became a surgeon like your parents always wanted you to be. You’d have a steady future and a nice income, a decent career instead of having to perform at a different bar every other night for nicks and pennies that barely cover your rent at the end of the month. But that wouldn’t be you. Wearing scrubs, smiling at patients, throwing out your dignity along with your dreams, you wouldn’t have been true to yourself if you chose that life. Besides, you’d still be in school, barely nearing the halfpoint of your education if you decided to go along with your parents’ plan and it’s clearer than daylight that the school system is just not for you. It would be pure torture if you had to sit in classes for a decade just to work a job you never even wanted.

Looking around the small dressing room you cast your eyes over your band that consists of three people. It’s a temporary set up from three guys you met along your way, all of the struggling musicians as you and you saw the as opportunities. Places would rather have a band play with several men in it than just put one single woman on stage and pray for the best. It’s the sexist part of the industry not enough people talk about. You can’t even count how many pitying stares you’ve gotten through the years when you stated that you want to make a career as a solo female singer.

“Honey, you ain’t making it without at least one man behind you,” is what they’ve always told you. So you’ve gotten yourself three until you could stand on your own two feet without a male backup. You’re using them just as much as they are using you. They were already a band when you joined them, the lead singer just disappeared to thin air with her boyfriend and left them incomplete, so you joined forces to navigate your way together in the depth of the music industry, looking for that big jump everyone is dreaming about.

Standing in front of the cracked mirror you fix your eyeliner, checking yourself once again. Your thrifted checkered suit looks radiant on you especially with the neon green see-through top underneath, showing off a black bralette. It’s a male suit, hanging a little baggy on you at places, but you still feel like you’re pulling off the look. Your thick eyeliner makes your eyes appear even bigger than they already are and your hair is in an unruly mop of curls, making your appearance complete.

You’ve received tons of critiques over your outfits, but they are the only thing you are not changing on yourself.

“Don’t wear men’s pants.”

“You’d look better in a dress.”

“Why do you look like a guy?”

“What a shame to hide such a gorgeous body in clothes that weren’t meant for girls.”

Each and every comment is burned into your mind forever and you’ll never stop fighting against the judgment women has to face for not being the conventional beauty all females are expected to be.

There’s a knock on the door and the person behind it barges in without waiting for an answer. The tall, bald guy rushes in, looking a little stressed, but that’s kind of the normal for the owner.

“I’m not sure how to say it, but… you are not performing tonight,” he simply states and your anger sets in faster than ever. You’ve had gigs get cancelled, but not minutes before going on stage. However, he is still not done with his little informative speech. “And your instruments need to be used by another band tonight.”

“What the fuck?” Trey, the drummer jumps to his feet. “No way I’m letting someone else play my drum set!”

“You’ll get half the money if you let it happen,” the owner answers.

“Wait, what band did you find minutes before start?” you ask in complete shock.

“There’s this group celebrating a birthday in the VIP section and some boy band is apparently with them. Birthday girl requested to have the stage for them.”

“And you’re just cancelling on us that easily?” you snap.

“Not that I have a choice. If I don’t do it they are leaving and I’m losing a big amount from the night. Sorry guys, but this is strictly business.”

“I can’t fucking believe this,” you laugh bitterly, staring up at the ceiling. This would have been a great chance for all of you, you’ve been trying to get a gig here for months, knowing that a lot of people from the industry fancies it, you might have caught someone’s eyes, but it’s definitely not happening now.

“Are you letting them use your stuff or not?” he urges, hands on his hips as he looks at the four of you impatiently.

“But what about our gig? We’ve been on the waiting list for months, when can we actually perform?”

“Uh, I don’t know. We’re pretty booked, maybe sometime in the summer?”

“Summer?” you gasp in disbelief. “It’s fucking February!”

“Are you lending them your stuff or not? I don’t have the time for your little tantrum!”

“Yeah, if we get the money they can use it,” Connor, the bass guitarist answers before you explode right then and there. The owner walks out with that, leaving the four of you behind, forgotten and humiliated.

“I can’t fucking believe it,” Trey groans, plopping down on the couch, covering his eyes with his tattooed arm.

“This is fucking bullshit,” you scoff under your breath, reaching for your bag to grab your pack of cigarettes you keep in it especially for cases like this, whenever you are about to go around and punch every living thing in the face in your reach.

Kicking the backdoor open you lean against the cold brick wall as you light the cigarette and start puffing vigorously, trying to get as much nicotine into your system as possible. You notice a group of guys standing near you in the alleyway, laughing on something, having a great time, oblivious to how hurt and angry you are feeling just a few feet away. You hear frictions of their conversation and it’s clear they are British judging from the accents that are hitting your ears. You finish your cigarette pretty fast and immediately reach for another one even though you know you shouldn’t have even smoked that first one, but you just can’t help it. It’s either the smoking or you’re going after the owner and kick him in the balls for being a bitch.

“Oi, can I ask for one?”

Glancing to the side you see that one of the guys has approached you, smiling at you warmly he nods towards the pack in your hands. Nodding you hold it out for him and he takes one. Before he could even ask for the lighter, you throw it at him and he catches it easily.

“Thanks,” he nods, holding the cigarette between his lips before lighting it and passing the lighter back to you.

“Lou, you really shouldn’t smoke,” you hear one of the others speak up as the rest of the group slowly joins you and the one you just helped out.

“S’fine, don’t act like me motha’,” he shrugs, taking a drag from the cigarette.

“At least not before we go on stage,” the blonde one shakes his head at his friend and your eyebrows shoot up.

“Oh, so you’re the band that’s gonna play?” you ask with a forced smile, already feeling your blood boiling. Who the fuck they are and why do they deserve to steal your gig?!

“We’re just playing a couple of songs,” another speaks up shrugging his shoulders. “No big deal.”

“Glad it’s no big deal to you, because it would have been to the band that was robbed from tonight because of you,” you spat at them, clearly surprising them with your harsh reply.

“I assume you are part of that band, right?” the on with the curly hair speaks up, his green eyes burning down at you.

“Nice job, Sherlock,” you groan, taking another drag from your cigarette.

“You could play with us,” he offers, the others nodding in agreement.

“I don’t need your pity,” you scowl at them. “Bringing me on stage to try to make yourselves look like the good guys is not necessary. I’m just fed up with people like you.” The truth is coming out of you easier than ever. All the years on injustice is seemingly erupting from you, pouring down on these five.

“People like us?” the dark haired one asks with a confused look.

“Yeah,” you nod with a bitter chuckle. “Five conventionally hot guys grouped together for a band, making every girl between the age of ten and thirty scream just by a wink. I don’t know where you came from, but I’m betting my head that you’ve had it easier than others.”

“It’s not nice to assume things when you don’t know anything about us,” Curly speaks up, tilting his head to the side.

“Oh, I’ve seen enough not to care about what’s nice and what’s not,” you chuckle shaking your head as you take another long puff from your cigarette and throw the butt to the ground, stepping on it. “Who are you even? Some Back Street Boys 2.0?” you ask, folding your arms on your chest, earning a heartfelt laugh from the blondie.

“I kinda like her,” he smirks around his friends. “We’re called One Direction, you haven’t heard of us?”

“Not even once,” you shake your head.

“That’s kinda humbling,” the one with the cigarette smiles. “We’re from the UK. I’m Louis, that’s Liam, Niall, Zayn and Harry.”

“I would say it’s nice to meet you, but it would be nicer if you guys didn’t just take my gig and lessen me with half my paycheck,” you smile at them sweetly before rolling your eyes.

“Wait, what? They’re not paying you because of us?” Liam asks.

“We only get half the money for lending you our instruments.”

“Let us pay the other half then,” Harry offers right away, but you just laugh at him.

“It’s not about the money, Prince Harry,” you smirk at him, tilting your head to the side. “It’s about justice. How is that air that you just waltz in here and take our time and chance? What if there’s a producer out there who would have liked our music and offered a record deal? What if someone would have taken a video of us performing, put it up to YouTube and it would have gone viral? I assume you never had to go through this phase where you have to beg for every minute on stage so you can at least earn enough money to pay rent. You don’t seem like the type of band who had to perform in smelly bars four times a week for a ridiculous amount of money.”

They stay silent and you know you were right.

“I’m not saying you had it easy, but I’m sure you have no idea what it could have been. And I’m fed up with men walking over others just to have what they want.”

“Look, it wasn’t our intention to ruin your gig. Have your set with your band and then we’ll play a few songs too after that,” Liam offers, but you shake your head.

“No, we weren’t supposed to be just your opening act and it’ll turn into that. So have a nice evening, enjoy your showtime, I’m out.”

Pushing yourself away from the wall you walk back into the building and grabbing your stuff from the dressing room you move out to the bar area, desperately needing a drink.

Sitting on the last stool at the bar you ask for straight tequila and two vodka shots knowing it’ll do the job for the evening and pulling your phone out of your bag, you open up Google. Searching the name One Direction you’re met with quite a few hits and you start scrolling through them, reading about the five boys you just had an encounter with. Just as you thought, they didn’t start off as a traditional band, having put together at a talent show just three years ago, getting such a major push so early in their career, they have no idea how struggling it is to make it in the industry. They surely had their fair share of ups and downs, but they will never know what it’s like to sweat blood and tears for your dream when everyone just wants to drag you down and tell you you’ll never make it.

The shots and half of the tequila is gone, your band joined you to at least get wasted as you watch the technicians set the stage for a band that’s not you, but gonna play with your stuff. Sitting on the stool you’re having a fairly good time thanks to the alcohol when you spot Harry making his way towards you in the crowd.

“Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready backstage?” you ask with an eyeroll as he joins your little circle, the guys eyeing him curiously. Ignoring your comment he pulls out a piece of paper handing it to you. As you unfold it you almost want to throw it back at him.

“This is to make up for what you lost tonight,” he says nodding down at the check in your hands.

“I told you I don’t need your money,” you firmly answer, but Trey grabs the check from your hands.

“But I do!” he snorts. He is such a pig.

“Let us do at least this one thing for you. We really do feel bad for taking your time and the offer to come on stage with us still stands.”

“No thank you,” you shoot him a fake smile before downing the rest of your tequila, the drink burning down your throat. Looking back at Harry you keep your eye locked on him as he watches you intently. He is a good-looking guy, you have to give that to him, but the circumstances you’ve met under just made it impossible for you not to hate him for the privileges he is being handed every day while you fight your way through life.

Harry sighs in defeat nodding as he licks his lips. For a split second, guilt takes over you for the way you’ve been acting towards him and the other boys, but then you remember that you don’t even know him. For all you know, he can be a royal asshole with the face of an angel. You can’t let guilt chew you and spit you out, you have to keep your guards up.

“Alright. We really are sorry. I’ll… see you around,” he nods before turning around to walk away.

You watch them perform their biggest hits, the whole place going crazy over the impromptu One Direction concert they just got for basically free. The VIP area is going crazy over the boys and with each sang song, you feel yourself getting more and more hopeless about your future as a musician. Here you are on a Saturday night, robbed from a job you’ve worked hard for, watching five British boys take your place on the stage that’s supposed to be yours tonight. You catch Harry’s eyes quite often while he is on stage, he keeps glancing in your way, a hint of guilt glistening in his green irises as he sings their songs with perfect vocals. You can tell he feels bad for the situation and you didn’t make it any easier on him or any of the boys, but you’re not really one to beat around the bush. They deserved to know what others in the industry below them have to deal with every day. It’s not always as glamorous as people might think and you’re the living example of that.

You don’t stick around for long after the boys are done on stage, you help your bandmates pack their stuff and head home before Harry or any other members of One Direction can find you.

Walking past the news stand that’s on the corner of your street, you stop upon seeing your own face smiling back at you from the cover of People Magazine, the title catching your attention.

“Grammy nominee Y/N Y/L/N shares her secret to her one of a kind fashion style.”

Grabbing the magazine off the stand you pay for it and continue your way home, holding the copy to your chest with a warm feeling in your heart.

It’s been only a week since the nominations have come out, but it still feels like a dream. You didn’t just get nominated in the category of Best New Artist, but your album Hands of Power got nominated as Best Album and your biggest hit of last year, Sleepless is running for the title of Best song. Three nominations the first time earning a spot on the list. Not bad.

Just as you walk into your place, your phone buzzes, the ever so smiling face of your manager staring back at you from the screen.

“Hey!” you sing into the phone, holding it to your ear with your shoulder, taking off your boots as you walk further down the hallway.

“Are you home already?”

“Yes, just arrived.”

“Great, I’ll be there in ten,” she announces and ends the call. Chuckling you just shake your head, dropping the phone to the coffee table before you move to the bedroom and change into something more comfortable. The flared jeans looked fire on you today, but you rather wear something looser when you’re at home.

You barely have the time to start the water for a tea when Taylor storms through your door using her keys you’ve given her some time ago. She is wearing all white that looks fantastic with her almond skin tone, a knitted sweater tucked into a maxi skirt, paired with strappy heels, she is always so elegant and perfectly dressed for whatever occasion.

“I have knee-shaking news, girl!” she announces as she throws her purse to the couch before joining you in the kitchen.

“I’m going to be the next Bond girl?” you joke smiling to yourself as you get two mugs from the cupboard.

“Better than that!” she cheers. “You are going to perform at the Grammy’s, baby!” she screams throwing her hands into the air as your jaw drops to the floor.

“You’re not just kidding with me, right?!”

“I would never play such a dirty joke with you. It’s one hundred percent true, I had an hour long phone call with some bloke today and they want you.”

“Yes!” you scream in excitement, jumping up and down like a child that just got a pack of candy. “I’ll make the Grammy’s my bitch!” you cheer, making Taylor laugh.

“Alright, Miss Dominatrix. We still have a lot of things to discuss and there’s one more thing about the performance.”

“Oh God, is this the part where you say something that ruins it completely?” you sigh in defeat as you take the kettle and pour the water into the mugs, dropping a filter into each.

“I don’t think it ruins it,” she shakes her head, but you have a feeling you won’t like what she has to say. “They want it to be like a… joined performance. You’d start off with Sleepless, then it would kind of mesh into your partner’s song and they would end it with one of their own songs.”

“Okay, that doesn’t sound bad,” you nod.

“See?” she smiles warmly.

“Do we know who I’m going to perform with?”

“Harry Styles.”

You almost drop both mugs the moment the name is mentioned, but you manage to get them to the kitchen island and slip them to the counter, Taylor giving you a questioning look at your wide-eyed expression.

“Uh, I’m not sure that’s… gonna work,” you clear your throat.

“You’re not sure your duet with the biggest male artist can work? Why is that?”

Licking your lips you try to find the right words to say it, but you’re not even sure why you got so shocked over it. Probably because the last time you saw him, you were still nobody, playing gigs at no name bars and he took your spot on the stage with One Direction. It’s weird, but since you’ve finally made it in the industry, you haven’t crossed paths with him and this would be the first time you meet after seven years.

“I’m not sure if he remembers it, but we’ve met before.”

“You and Harry?”

“Yes. I was playing with The Gambits years ago, it was before I started putting out covers on my own. We were supposed to play at this bar but they cancelled on us, because One Direction was there that night and someone wanted them to play instead of us, so we lost the gig. I had a pretty… harsh conversation with him and the band, basically telling them that their pretty man privilege is what ruins the careers of talented women.” “Oh Jesus, Y/N. Why haven’t I heard of this before?” Taylor sighs leaning on her elbows on the countertop.

“Not that it’s something that would just come up in a conversation,” you shrug. “And as I said, he might not even remember it. It was a long time ago.”

“I know you are all about your rebellious past, good for you, but sometimes you’re making my job really fucking hard,” she sighs, grabbing her phone, already typing a message to God knows who. “Starting beef with Harry Styles before you even made a name for yourself? Who does that?”

“It’s not beef!” you protest. “I just gave them my piece of mind.”

“We’ll see what he thinks about it. I have to make a few calls,” she announces before walking out, already on the phone with someone.

Sitting on a stool, staring into your mug you think back at the time you met him. It feels like a lifetime ago when you were fighting to stay afloat, trying to make through the days, barely hanging on a thread. You didn’t know that five years later you’d sign your first record deal as a solo artist and seven years from that night, you’d be a Grammy nominee. It was a long and challenging time for sure with way more downs than ups until you finally got on track and you’ll never forget where you came from. Not when even as an acknowledged artist, you still face judgment and hatred no matter what you do. Being a solo female singer sometimes feels like harder than being president of the country and there are just so many things that need to change in the world of music, you will never stop fighting for girls that are in the same shoe you once were.

Through the years you’ve followed the career of the boys, especially Harry’s. You read about Zayn’s parting, their so-called hiatus and how they all went solo soon after. Genre-wise Harry’s work is what stands the closest to you, and you’ve witnessed all the backlash he has faced during his time in the spotlight. The shaming for whatever women he chose to date, his choice to get into acting and the way he has been dressing. People just don’t seem to understand they can’t have control over any of these and they’ve tried to bring him down one too many times, but he has been thriving lately, anyone can see that.

Your mug empties out by the time Taylor returns, taking her previous stop at the kitchen island.

“Alright, I set up a meeting with Harry and his manager for tomorrow. They still haven’t decided on the performance and apparently, Harry would like to meet you before giving his answer.”

“Oh God, he remembers me,” you growl under your breath.

“Or maybe he doesn’t and just wants to meet the person he is supposed to perform with. We can never know. We’re meeting them at his manager’s office at eleven tomorrow.”

One night is enough to make you go crazy over such a small thing as meeting someone. It’s not like you are nervous to see him because of who he is, it’s more about knowing what he thinks about you after all these years, in case he remembers you. He saw you as a struggling artist at rock bottom and though your encounter didn’t last long and he didn’t know you on a deeper, personal level, you still fear that he remembers and thinks that you’ve lost yourself over the years.

Authenticity has been a huge issue in your life. Early in your career, everyone wanted to change you. The way you dress, your hair, the style of music you write, nothing was good enough as it was, they wanted you to become someone else, someone who was not you. You fought all attempts until the right person came through and accepted you as yourself, but a tiny voice in the back of your mind kept telling you that they succeeded, that somewhere along the fight you did lose yourself and became what you always feared to be.

Meeting Harry is like meeting a piece of your past and having to face what you’ve become. It’s going to be like a mirror right in front of you and what you’ll see might not be what you expect.

Wearing your bright red dungaree with an oversized vintage shirt and a pair of white sneakers, you definitely don’t look like you’re dressed for a business meeting, but when did you ever? Pushing your hair back with a pair of cat eye shades, you leave a little earlier, knowing well traffic is horrible in these hours. You arrive to the office building just minutes before eleven, Taylor has already texted that she has arrived and which office you should come to. When you finally find the door you’ve been looking for, you take a moment to yourself before knocking.

“Come in!” a male voice calls out and you walk in. Taylor is sitting on the sofa that’s pushed against the wall on the left, a man is sitting behind the enormous desk and then there is Harry, standing by the window, his hands hidden in the pockets of his black slacks, and old Rolling Stones t-shirt hanging loosely on his frame as his eyes meet yours upon your arrival.

“Hey, I would say I’m sorry for being late, but I’m actually exactly on time,” you smirk, closing the door behind you. The man stands from the desk and walking around he meets at the front, holding a hand out for you.

“Perfectly on time,” he smiles warmly. “I’m Jeffrey Azoff, nice to meet you.”

“Y/N Y/L/N. Nice to meet you too.”

“And this here is Harry,” he motions towards the man who has stepped closer and as you look back at him, you’re met with a blank expression for a moment so you can’t figure out if he remembers you or not. But then, a tiny smile tugs on his lips as he holds his hand out for you.

“We’ve met before, right?” he simply questions, and your eyes flicker over to Taylor in a kind of “See? I told you!” manner before you look back at Harry and shake his hand.

“Yeah, we have,” you nod. “A long time ago.”

“Congrats for your nominations,” he smirks, his hand letting go of yours and your let out a soft chuckle.

“Well, thank you. Back at you.”

“Alright, why don’t we start this discussion? We have a lot to go over,” Jeff suggests and you sit beside Taylor while Harry stays near the window, as if he is trying to soak up the sunshine coming through it that’s painting his skin a golden shade.

The concept is simple. The performance would be a mashup from Sleepless and Harry’s song Golden with an exciting and fresh way of mixing the two songs together in the middle, making your song flow into his in a smooth and effortless way. The songs sound compatible and you already have an idea how to mash them together for the transition, but you can’t help but feel doubts over the performance.

“What are your concerns exactly?” Jeff questions.

“Not to come off too harsh, but why is my song the first one?” you ask, earning a few puzzled looks. “If Harry finishes it off, he is going to be the one people will remember more and he’ll get the applause as well. The riffs in the songs allow them to be switched, how come it’s not me who comes second?”

You can see the shock on Jeffrey’s face at how straight-forward you were about your concern and that you even dared to speak up about the issue. He clearly hasn’t had to face anything similar before and when he glances at Harry you follow his gaze as well, but instead of shock, what you see on his face is amusement. He is smirking, tapping his fingers against his chin as he stares back at you.

“She has a point,” he nods and you take a deep breath. For a moment, you really thought this is going to be the part where you are thrown off and Harry makes the performance only his.

“I, uhh—this is what’s been requested,” Jeff answers and you tilt your head.

“Okay, can we make a request to change it?” you simply ask, eyeing Taylor next to you who is typing on her iPad vigorously, taking notes of everything that’s said. She is already used to what you’re like, she is not even surprised you came up with the prompt to change.

“Hold on, so just because you want to be second, you get to be?” Harry questions, but he doesn’t come off as harsh, it seems like he is entertained by the conversation. “Does this mean I don’t deserve to be the second one?”

“That’s-That’s not what I meant,” you answer, taken aback from his accusation and you hate to admit, but he is right. You addressed the issue, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve the spot either.

“Alright, so then we need to seek a solution that benefits the both of us,” he offers, walking closer from the sunlight and you follow his every movement.

“We could do some kind of medley? Do an ultimate mashup from more songs and have more smaller parts split between us, finishing it together,” you suggest and he nods.

“That could work, but I have something else on my mind.”

“And what would that be?” Jeff asks, a little lost about the situation as he watches the two of you exchange ideas.

“We could write a song together, a duet, and perform that instead of our solo stuff.”

“What?” you snap right away. “You want to write a whole new song just for the Grammy’s?”

“Why not?” he smiles carefreely. “We have almost two entire months to do it, albums have been written in shorter periods, I’m sure we can handle just one song. And I think a collaboration would be a hit for the both of us now.”

You look at Taylor who just stares back at you, ignoring the panic in your eyes.

“Don’t look at me,” she tells you. “I can see the collaboration working, it could be a huge hit.”

“And what, we’re gonna release it as a single after the show? Whose song is it going to be? I don’t have an album coming up until next year, do you get to have it on your third one then?”

“We can put it out as just a single. No one has to have it on any albums,” Harry replies. “If we released it after the show, it would be just the right timing. Neither of us had any new songs out in a while.” Clenching your jaw you’re trying to find a way out of this collaboration, though you’re not even sure yourself why. Taylor sees right through you, knowing well you’re planning your escape, but she has other plans apparently.

“Y/N, let’s have a few words outside,” she pushes herself up and pulls you with her. Once the door is shut behind the two of you she starts right away. “What the fuck is your problem? The song is a huge thing, it would be an instant hit with him on it!”

“Why do I need a song with him to stay relevant?” you question, folding your arms on your chest.

“No one said it’s about that. But we both know it would be a great push to your name that Jordan has stomped over not so long ago, calling you a Feminist Nazi.”

“Don’t even fucking mention him!” you whisper yell, refusing to even think about that trashbag of a man that ruined your life with his fake accusations.

“Look, I know what you are thinking, that you’ll be seen as just an object next to him, a pair of boobs and nice legs, but that’s not his brand. He doesn’t need you to be sexy next to him, he is known for his honest and real works that go farther than just twerking and being a hoe. We both know he produces meaningful music, so why are you so against it?”

“I just… I-I’m scared to work with him,” you finally admit and it’s the first thing today that surprises Taylor.

“Scared? Thought you’re not scared of anything,” she huffs.

“I never said that,” you give her a look. “Harry met me when I was nobody, it was just me and my big mouth, trying to find my breakout. What if we start working together and he sees that I completely lost that version of myself? I would feel like a liar, an impostor.”

“You are overreacting,” Taylor sighs. “You’ve changed on your way here, but I doubt you are that far from the girl he met before. I know we didn’t meet just a few years after, but I can assure you, you’re still that big-mouthed pain in the ass who fights every norm in the industry like no one else.”

You know she is right, she is always right. Taylor knows you too well, that’s why you love working with her, but sometimes, her honesty throws you way off, especially when she is stating the truth.

The two of you rejoin the two men in the office and they both look at you with anticipation as you fold your arms on your chest and move your gaze over to Harry.

“I would… love to work on a song with you.”

When you agreed to work with Harry you didn’t think you’d find yourself heading over to his house a few days later to have a writing session, but he offered right away that day in the office and Taylor accepted it before you could protest. You’ve had a day filled with meetings and fittings and now you’re rolling up his driveway after punching the security code in that he shared with you over text.

You’ve exchanged numbers on the spot and just like that, you’ve become one of the few people on this world that could contact Harry Styles anytime they want to.

You chose to be casual for the occasion, wearing a pair of black sweatpants and a white hoodie, you like to be comfortable whenever you’re working on new music and Harry’s presence won’t change your ways about that. You’re not sure what to expect, if you’re being honest you’re still afraid of being alone with Harry and do such an emotional thing together as writing a song.

The front door opens just as you get out of your car, grabbing your bag from the passenger seat. Harry walks out wearing a pair of shorts and a green hoodie, looking like he hasn’t left the house all day.

“Hey, you found the address easily?” he asks smiling as you walk up to him.

“Yeah, everything went fine.”

“Do you want something to drink or eat maybe?” he offers as the two of you walk inside. If you’re being honest, you’re starving, the last time you had anything to eat was between two meetings around ten, but nothing since then, just a granola bar. But you’re a first time guest, you can’t just eat up his fridge, like you’re old pals, right?

However, Harry can see right through you.

“You haven’t had anything in a long time, right?” he softly asks and you purse your lips, feeling awkward already and you haven’t been here for more than two minutes. “I can make you a sandwich, if you’d like.” “Harry, no need, I—“ “No need, but I want to. Come on,” he nods at you, making you follow him into the kitchen. “So, who would have thought we would be here now, huh?” he smirks at you as he gathers the ingredients and starts working on your food while you sit on one of the stools at his kitchen island.

“Not me,” you admit chuckling. “I kind of didn’t think I would see you again, I mean, personally. I was seeing you a lot on TV after that.”

“Now might be a good time to confess that, that night wasn’t the last time I saw you.”

“What?”

“I went to one of your gigs a few weeks later. Stayed at the back, I just really wanted to see you play.”

“And what did you think?” you ask tilting your head to the side. Harry smirks, his eyes meeting yours before they return to the food under his hands.

“You absolutely smashed it. And I felt even worse for taking your time away that night. The people were robbed from a mind-blowing performance and had to see five annoying guys clown on the stage,” he laughs making you chuckle too. “I wasn’t surprised when your name surfaced a few years later. Knew you’d make it at one point.” He joins you at the island and slides the plate in front of you with a warm smile.

“Thank you,” you mumble smiling shyly before you start eating and only after the first bite you feel just how hungry you’ve been. “Now that we are at it, I want to apologize for the way I talked to you guys back then. I feel like I was a bigger asshole than I should have been and the whole situation wasn’t entirely your fault.”

“No need to apologize,” he shakes his head. “You were absolutely right. We had no business being on stage that night and what you said actually made us think about where we came from and appreciate our career more. You were right about having it easy at the beginning. We never had the phase where we had to push our way to the top like other artists, our first days were broadcasted on TV, giving us the biggest push ever.”

It’s good to hear he is not holding grudges against you for whatever went down in the past. You eat in silence while Harry types a response to a message on his phone before turning it with the screen down to pay his full attention to you.

“I actually just messaged Niall that we are working together and he is losing his shit over it,” he chuckles softly.

“You guys still talk?”

“Yeah, sometimes. Not all of us thought,” he adds, pressing his lips together.

“You miss being with the band?”

“It’s… good to rely on someone in certain situations. As a solo artist, you only have yourself and that’s about it. But I think you already know that.”

“I never really liked being in a band,” you admit.

“How come? I think you fit in well with The Gambits.”

You shrug, chewing on your bite slowly. It’s probably not the best time to admit that you prefer working on your own, when you’re about to get into a duet with him.

“I uhh… I always imagined myself being a solo artist and I just couldn’t stay with the guys too long, especially when I got my record deal.”

“Why?” Letting out a long breath you lick your lips looking at him.

“I would have never made it in a band with three guys. It would have always been about which one I’m sleeping with, who am I having an affair with or if I’m lesbian because I’m not hooking up with any of them. This is just how it goes for women.”

Harry stays quiet, taking your words in as you finish the sandwich that was literally lifesaving. You wash the plate even when he tells you to just leave it in the sink, and once that’s done, the two of you move over to his little home studio in the basement of his house.

“So, where do we start?” you ask, making yourself comfortable in one of the armchairs while he grabs an acoustic guitar and sits on the one next to you.

“How do you usually start writing?” he asks scratching his chin before he rests his hands on the body of the guitar.

“Well, most of the times I write when I’m pissed about something,” you huff and Harry smirks at you.

“Nothing pissed you off lately?”

“Not enough to make me write a song,” you point out. “See, this is one of the reasons why I was hesitant to write a song with you. It doesn’t come that easily for me.”

“And what were the other reasons?” You shut your mouth at his question, you weren’t expecting him to pick it up, but apparently, he listens more than you thought.

“It’s… a long story.”

“And we have all the time,” he smiles slyly. “But of course, don’t feel pressured to share. I just thought it would be nice to get to know each other more so we can work together easier.”

Harry starts strumming his guitar gently, playing random riffs as you watch him, chewing on your bottom lip. Taylor asked you to try and be more open than you usually are and though part of you wants to keep the wall high between you and him, something is telling you to try and reach out to him.

“I didn’t want to do it, because I didn’t want to be seen as just a pretty face next to you. In duets between a man and a woman, females are often seen as just an object, a sight for the eyes but not as serious artists. I worked hard to be taken seriously and I was hesitant about collaborating with you even though your music is not necessarily what I should fear.”

Harry looks back at you with an unreadable expression and you feel like he is judging you for standing up for yourself. Your fight for yourself is often mistaken as “being a bitch” or “being too sensitive” and the amount of times you’ve been told to just chill is upsetting.

“Well, good thing then that I won’t write music about twerking,” he then finally speaks up, a smile breaking his blank expression.

“But you do write a lot about sex,” you point out with a smirk.

“That I do, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be sexist at the same time.”

“You’re right,” you nod smiling.

 The writing process turns out to be harder than you thought. You’re not specifically inspired and Harry is the person to just throw things around until he finds something he likes. The two of you put together is kind of chaotic as you try to come up with something useful.

Two hours later you have a raw version of a melody that could serve as a chorus, but nothing else, no full melody, no lyrics. And if you’re being honest, you don’t like that chorus that much either.

“It’ll be fun to just stand on stage for three minutes and do absolutely nothing, because we couldn’t write anything,” you groan, sliding lower in your seat, rubbing your face with your hands.

“It’s literally our first session and we have plenty of time, Y/N. Don’t stress about it.”

“I don’t know how to do that.”

“You don’t know how not to stress?”

“I literally haven’t had a stressfree day since about 2007, so no, I don’t know.”

“You can’t chill even when you smoke?” he asks and you give him a puzzled look. “What, you smoke, don’t you?”

“Cigarettes? I put it down in 2015.”

“No, I’m not talking about cigarettes,” Harry chuckles softly. “You don’t smoke weed?” You shyly shake your head. “Really? I would have sworn you’re the type to relax with a good joint. Want to try it?”

“What? Now?” you ask with wide eyes.

“Why not?” he shrugs and walks over to the little side table in the corner of the room and reaching into it he simply pulls a little plastic bag out with three joints in them.

“Are you just casually keeping joints around your house?”

“I don’t really smoke them, they make me feel sleepy. But some of my friends like it so I keep a few around,” he explains as he takes one out and puts the rest back. “You want to try?”

“I-I’m not sure… I have to drive back home.”

“You can stay for the night, I have three guest bedrooms,” he shrugs before his eyes meet yours. “Again, not trying to pressure you, I’m just offering.”

“Are you gonna smoke?”

“We can share one if you want. I would recommend smoking one by yourself for the first time.”

“Okay,” you nod shortly as you watch him tip-tap the joint a little, rolling it between his fingers before he takes it between his lips and reaches for a lighter. “Wait, shouldn’t we do it somewhere outside? The smoke is gonna get stuck in here.”

Harry stops, thinking about what you said and he nods. Grabbing the guitar he asks you to follow him and the two of you move up and out to the terrace, sinking into his lounge chairs. You bring your knees up to your chest, hugging them tightly as you watch Harry light the joint and take the first few puffs. As he exhales the smoke he holds the joint out for you and you take it, hesitantly putting it between your lips as you inhale for the first time. You can’t help but scowl at the taste, the whole act of smoking feeling strange after years of smoking your last cigarette. You keep it down a little before puffing the smoke out and passing the joint back to Harry.

You keep switching until you make it past half of it and you finally start to feel the effect of it. You feel light, like you’re floating in the pool that’s in front of you, you can almost feel the water touching your skin yet you’re still dry.

“How are you feeling?” Harry asks, blinking at you with hooded eyes.

“I’m feeling… fine,” you chuckle softly as you take the joint from him and drag from it again. “Do you do other drugs?”

“I’ve done shrooms a few times, not often though. I’m not trying to pick up an addiction,” he smiles softly, running a hand through his hair. “Have you done anything?”

“No,” you shake your head. “Didn’t have the money for it before and then didn’t have time later. But I never really felt the need either.”

“And you said you put down the cigarette as well?”

“Yeah. I knew I had to do that sooner or later, it was starting to change my voice and I couldn’t have that.”

“That’s what we always told Louis, that his voice will turn to shit if he keeps smoking,” Harry chuckles softly, dragging from the joint before he passes it over to you, not much left of it.

“Did he ever stop?”

“I think he put it down when his son was born, but I don’t know if he started again.”

You give the joint back for him to finish it and you watch him put it out in the ashtray before he sinks down in the lounge chair, closing his eye for a bit, breathing steadily. You find it amusing how you can still see the guy that handed you a check years ago at that bar, trying to make things right, but he also looks like a completely different person at the same time. He is more mature and open in his mindset and just the way he approaches things in general. The Harry you met seven years ago was still searching his way, but the version lying next to you now is a lot more confident in who he really is.

“Want to take a picture?” he hums keeping his eyes closed.

“What?”

His eyes peel open and turn to face you, a smug smirk on his lips.

“You’ve been staring at me. Take a picture, it lasts longer.”

“You are way too full of yourself,” you scoff and pushing yourself up from the lounge chair you walk over to the edge of the pool, mesmerized by the way the light is dancing on the surface.

You never really thought about what weed would feel like in your system, but it feels oddly tranquil and relaxing. In a way your body feels a little strange, like it’s not even yours, but you also sense everything very… loudly.

“You alright?” you hear Harry’s voice coming from behind, the tapping on his feet signaling that he is walking closer to you.

“Yeah,” you nod without taking your eyes off of the water.

“Do you want to go for a swim?”

“What?” you breathe out turning to face him.

“Do you want to go in?” he rephrases his question with a small smile.

“I don’t… have a bathing suit,” you answer and the moment the words leave your mouth they feel so ridiculous even when you were just stating the truth.

“Okay, but you are wearing underwear, aren’t you?” he smirks. “Or I’m completely fine if you want to go in naked,” he adds smugly.

“Shut up,” you chuckle. “Can you… maybe give me a pair of shorts? I’m fine without a bra when I come out but I would rather have my underwear on dry.”

“Sure,” he hums and turning around he jogs back into the house while you stay right there, staring at the water again.

With each passing moment you get calmer, the outside world and everything in life that’s not happening right in this moment eases into nothingness, your mind numbs in the best way possible.

When Harry returns he is wearing a pair of yellow swimming shorts, two towels are thrown over his shoulders and he has a pair of white shorts in his hands.

“This is the smallest thing I have, I think it’ll be fine,” he comments handing you the shorts.

“Thanks,” you nod before he shows you the way to the closest bathroom where you change out of your clothes leaving them in a neatly folded pile on the counter, you put on the shorts that are a little big on you, but once you’ve tied the strings it seems to be staying up steadily. Your simple black bra is not showing more than what a bikini top would, so you feel fine walking out in your attire.

Harry is sitting at the edge of the pool, his legs moving around in the water. His head lifts hearing your steps and he smiles at you, standing up when you arrive.

“Fits fine,” he nods, taking a look at the shorts.

“Yeah,” you chuckle.

Walking over to the steps you dip your feet in first, testing the temperature before you start going in further, Harry following you right behind. Just as you expected, the water feels smooth against your skin, warmly caressing and swallowing your body as you get in, the surface reaching your chest. You let your arms move around, feel how the water runs through your fingers, it’s amusing and you enjoy it probably more than you should. It’s just water, but right now it feels like a pile of clouds.

“I know I suggested to smoke and then swim, but please don’t drown into my pool, I won’t be able to talk myself out of that,” he chuckles, easing him into the water until it reaches his neck.

“My life is in your hands, Harry,” you smirk at him before you follow him and let the water swallow your whole body up to your neck.  “This feels so nice.”

“Yeah? You like it?” he smirks.

“Mm, like I’m… floating through space.”

“In a sense, you are floating in the water,” he chuckles. “You don’t feel sick, right?”

“No, I’m fine,” you smile at him shortly.

You move over to the edge of the pool, laying your arms to the side, holding yourself up so your legs could float in the water. You watch Harry dive under and swim across the pool, reaching the far end before he pushes himself over to you.

“When I went to see you perform there was a song I really liked, but I never found it anywhere later.”

“Which one?”

“The chorus went like… Crashing and crumbling, I’m fighting for my breath, Today won’t be the day I’m meeting death…”

You suck on your breath, surprised how well he remembered the lines even after so many years. He recalled them perfectly, even singing the melody a little with them.

“I never recorded it in studio,” you admit quietly.

“Why not?”

“Because it felt too emotional and I didn’t want it to be just out there.”

“What was the name of the song?”

“It’s called Till I Die. I wrote it when…” You take a deep breath, feeling heavy just by talking about it, but something is urging you to share it with him. “I left from home right after I graduated high school, broke contact with my parents completely and I had a few very rough years, trying to just… keep myself alive, I guess.”

“Can I ask why you left your parents?”

“We had very different visions of what I should become. And I didn’t intend to live the life they imagined for me. My parents are very… traditional, my career in their eyes is just some kind of circus when I’m the clown on the stage. They don’t take any of it seriously and they made it very clear at the beginning that they don’t want me to become a musician. I was supposed to become a surgeon, my dad is one and my mom is in criminal law, they both worked very hard to get to where they are, but they don’t think that’s exactly what I’m doing as well.”

The last person you shared it with was Taylor and though it feels odd to open up about these old wounds again, but having Harry as the one listening to you just feels right.

“You haven’t talked to them since you left?”

“No,” you shake your head.

“And they didn’t even try to contact you?”

“Well, I made sure they couldn't. Changed my number first thing I set my feet outside the house and I never left them any of my addresses. I know it sounds cruel, but I didn’t want to do anything with them after the shaming they put me through when I told them I don’t want to become their perfect little daughter. They told me that I could consider myself disowned from the family if I dare to even write a song.”

“Woah, that sounds really tough.”

“It was,” you nod. “I wasn’t asking them to support me in any other way apart from just being there for me. It’s not like I wanted to spend the money the put aside for my tuition to buy guitars and tour the country, I just wanted them to… accept who I am, but apparently, I asked for too much.”

You feel tears forming in your eyes, but you wipe them quickly. It’s been long since the last time you let the thought of your parents, you’ve been good at keeping these feelings bottled up and in the deepest end of your mind. It’s not like you’re going around and just share your trauma with anyone you meet, but it felt comfortable to share it with Harry.

“I’m sorry about that. Everyone should have a support, especially in our job.”

“I had… myself,” you chuckle bitterly. “Became pretty good at relying only on myself.”

“I’m guessing it’s another reason why you prefer working alone, right?” he smiles at you softly.

“You could say that,” you nod into the water.

“I know it’ll sound cheesy, but… if you ever want to talk, I’m here,” he offers.

“Oh, are we becoming friends?” you ask chuckling.

“We’ve known each other for long enough to be friends, am I right?” he smirks, splashing some water in your way.

“We met a long time ago, but that doesn’t mean we know each other. Everything I know about you is from articles and gossip sites and I think you can only say the same thing,” you point out.

“Okay, then let’s get to know each other.”

“What, do you want to play 21 questions now or something?” you huff.

“Damn right,” he smirks.

And that’s exactly what you do. Swimming around in the pool you ask each other questions, some are funny, some are more serious and you slowly start to get to know each other, seven years after meeting for the first time, but in a way it feels like it’s been just last week when you were talking in the alleyway.

The weed soon dies down in your system, leaving you incredibly tired and it’s only then you realize it’s already past one am. Pulling out of the pool, you both grab a towel drying yourselves up before making your way back into the house.

“The guest bedroom next to mine has a bathroom so I think that’s the best one. I can give you something to sleep in if you’d like,” Harry offers as you follow him down the hallway.

“I think I’m fine in my sweats, but thank you.” He shows you the room, tells you how to change the AC if you feel too cold or hot and then bidding goodbye he is about to go to his own room when you stop him.

“Thank you for… today. I know we didn’t get far with the song, but… I liked hanging out with you,” you admit with a shy smile, leaning against the doorframe.

“Don’t worry about the song, it’ll be fine. And I liked it too. We can make it a regular thing, if you want. You can come over, we’d chill and try to cook up something for the song.”

“I, uhh… Yeah, that sounds good,” you nod, he shoots you a smile before turning around and disappearing in his room.

The morning doesn’t turn out at all any awkward, especially because you don’t get to stay around too long. You have a meeting at eleven so you have to leave in time to go home and get changed before that. Harry makes you coffee, which is lifesaving, the two of you sit at the terrace as you drink it and you arrange to meet in two days to try and have another, hopefully more successful session for the song.

You genuinely enjoyed your time with Harry and to think that you didn’t only smoked weed for the first time with him, but also opened up about your parents, you feel a kind of connection forming and you can only hope you’re not gonna regret it later.

You move on with work after leaving from Harry’s that morning, you have some fittings for upcoming photoshoots and an interview scheduled, so there’s not much time for you to sit around. Tonight you’re supposed to meet Harry again at his place for another session and you feel buzzed about it. You meet Taylor for lunch, sitting on the terrace of your usual place she is talking you through everything that’s coming up the next week, just like you always do so then you can put work aside and have a real chat.

“So how did the writing session go?” she asks, digging into her salad that she always asks with extra chicken.

“The writing? Not so well. But we had a good time,” you truthfully admit.

“Good, good! You’re finally making friends!” Taylor grins, satisfied with the news. You just roll your eyes at her, turning back to your food right when you notice that your phone has been blowing up with notifications.

Huffing you grab it from the table with the pure intention of muting it down completely, but then you see that several people have texted you the same link and it bugs your curiosity so you open one of the messages and tap on the link.

“You have got to be kidding me,” you groan, feeling your rage already pushing up your spine, clouding your vision in red.

“What?” Taylor snaps, reaching for her phone out of reflex.

“That fucking asshole dragged my name again!”

“Who? Jordan? That fucker never learns?” Taylor hisses, her thumbs vigorously typing on the screen immediately.

“Someone asked him about me on Twitter and he dared to call me a lying bitch! I can’t fucking believe this man!”

You and Jordan worked together on a project a while ago. You were supposed to write lyrics to a song he was composing and it was meant for an upcoming popular Netflix show, so the anticipation around the song was huge, especially when word got out that Ariana Grande might end up singing it. During your time working together he very blatantly tried to hit on you, which you politely shut down, because one, you didn’t intend to date someone you were working so close with and two, you just simply weren’t into him. However, he couldn’t take rejection the way a mature, almost thirty years old man should. It started off very subtly, but once you’ve had a chat with him to stop posting obnoxious and suggesting things about you on his social media, because it’s making it hard for you to be taken seriously as an artist and that people will just see you as another celeb which you don’t want to be, he just completely lost his shit. He called you different names on Twitter a few times, the worst were Feminist Nazi and a cock teasing slut, and he just somehow never fails to mention that you lied about your intentions with him, when you were clearer than daylight that you didn’t want a thing from him other than work.

When you realized he isn’t going to be stopping anytime soon, you took him to court, dragged his ass in front of the judge and won the case, which ended with him having to pay you thirty thousand dollars and he was ordered to clear all his platforms from your name for good. You really thought that taught him a lesson, especially because against your will, the case got some publicity and he ended up making headlines about the fault accusations he made about you, but it seems like he didn’t have enough.

You wouldn’t worry that much about his new tweet, knowing that he is the one lying, but the trials took a toll on you. It was at the beginning of the time when you were making yourself a name and even though you won, his accusations stung for some people and some even thought him to be the victim. You fell out of two brand deals and an important interview in the upcoming months which was a major setback and all for what? Because a man couldn’t accept rejection? The sad part is that if it would have happened the other way around, he wouldn’t have had to suffer any effect of it, people don’t tend to question a man’s words when he is showing this charming and nice persona to the public. If you accused him the same way you would have been dragged and titled as a sour crybaby and Jordan’s life would have carried on the same way.

The peaceful lunch soon falls through as Taylor turns on her beast mode to at least get the tweet down as soon as possible, already contacting the legal team you worked with before. It has to be against what you agreed on at the end of the trials, he can’t just go around and drag you again without any consequences.

In just about twenty minutes, the tweets disappear from Jordan’s feed, but you know it was already late the moment he posted it. If something gets out on the internet it never goes away, there are probably hundreds if not thousands of screenshots floating around that will preserve his words forever.

You part ways Taylor as he heads to an immediate meeting with the lawyers you worked together previously, she tells you to try not to worry about it, but you can’t just turn it off in you, that’s not how it works.

Making your way home you keep riling yourself up about it, thinking about what it’s gonna cause you this time, what opportunity is going to be taken because a man has called you a lying bitch, even after winning the previous trial against him that proves how big of an asshole he really is.

Changing into a casual attire you head to Harry’s place a little earlier, hoping it’s not a problem you get there an hour before you were supposed to. Arriving you’re a little taken aback seeing that there is another car parking on the driveway that’s not his and you immediately regret coming here, but before you could leave, the front door opens and Harry walks out. You couldn’t have left without noticing, the security system must have signaled your arrival when you punched the opening code in.

“Hey, everything alright?” he asks instead of questioning your early arrival.

“I uhh—I’m sorry for being early, I could go—“

“Don’t be silly, come on in!” he waves at you and you walk up the stairs. “Two friends are here but they were just about to leave soon,” he explains as you walk in.

“Sorry for crashing the party,” you let out a soft chuckle.

“The more the merrier,” he smiles. “You seem a little stressed, everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just… It’s nothing,” you shake your head.

“Oh my God, is that who I think it is?” you hear a woman’s voice from behind and turning around you see a smiley brunette walking towards you, a shy looking guy following behind her.

“Sarah, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Sarah, my drummer, and that wanker over there is Mitch, my guitarist.”

“Nice to meet you.” Shaking hands with both of them you realize they look familiar from pictures you’ve seen from Harry’s tour.

“I saw that ugly tweet today, that guy needs to be kicked in the balls,” Sarah sighs with a sympathetic smile, Harry’s ears perking up.

“What tweet?” he asks, eyes switching between you and Sarah.

“Oh, just… Jordan Wells thinks it’s fine to drag people with absolutely no truth behind his words,” you answer with a tight-lipped smile.

“Jordan Wells? The name rings a bell,” Harry hums.

“He is a music producer,” Mitch chimes in.

“I think he was supposed to write for 1D one time, but the deal fell through. Guess we didn’t miss out on anything,” he jokes and it brings a genuine smile to your face.

“You surely didn’t,” you comment under your breath.

You chat with Sarah and Mitch for a bit before they decide to head out, but Sarah asks you to come around sometime they are hanging out and you gladly say yes, wanting to know her and Mitch better, they seem like great company and even greater musicians, it’s always good to meet people who are like you.

As Harry walks his friends out you make yourself comfortable on the couch, reading Taylor’s texts about the update on the recent actions, she has gotten in contact with Jordan’s team and legal steps will be taken if Jordan doesn’t show any sign of improvement in the very near future.

“Hey, want something to drink? Wine or beer maybe?” Harry walks in as you look up from your phone.

“Wine sounds fucking fantastic,” you breathe out earning a soft chuckle from him. You follow him into the kitchen and watch him get a bottle of white wine with two glasses. “I hope Sarah and Mitch didn’t leave early because of me.”

“Oh, not at all. They knew you’d be coming over and would have left around this time, so don’t worry about it.”

He joins you at the kitchen island with the two glasses handing you one and you take a sip from it with a satisfied hum.

“So, want to talk about this Jordan ordeal?”

“There’s not much to talk, really,” you shrug. “He is a jerk and I just can’t seem to get rid of him and I didn’t even date the guy…”

“What did he do this time?”

“Oh, he just casually called me a lying bitch on Twitter, so that’s fun,” you let out a fake laugh, raising your glass before taking a big swig from it.

“Not that creative, if you’re asking me,” he jokes making you laugh. “It’s a very plain choice of words.”

“Yeah, not as good as his best which was calling me a feminist nazi.”

Harry almost chokes on his wine as you say the words, coughing a little while you watch him with an entertained smirk.

“That’s… an interesting way to express his opinion about you,” he answers diplomatically.

“Right? I was thinking about getting a sign of it, like a Live, Love, Laugh one, in the middle of my living room.”

“Would be a wonderful touch of décor,” he smirks. “Alright, I have a proposal for today’s session.”

“Shoot it.”

“You seemed to enjoy your weed experience the last time, I thought we could give it a try again, but we would try to write this time as well.”

“You want to write while smoking?” you ask raising your eyebrows at him.

“Only if you want to. I just thought it would relax you a bit, might even come up with some interesting ideas for the song.”

“Are you trying to turn me into an addict?” you narrow your eyes at him and he just holds his hands up innocently.

“Told you, no pressure,” he smirks angelically.

“I feel like I’m not even coming here to work but to meet with my new dealer,” you chuckle making him laugh. “Okay, we can… give it a try.”

 An hour and one joint per person later the two of you are lounging in his living room, he is sprawled out on the loveseat with a guitar on his arms while you are curled upon the sectional, fumbling with the strings of your hoodie.

“We should just… fucking steal a song,” you snort, finding your comment hilarious.

“Which one were you thinking about?” Harry smirks your way, his fingers gently strumming some random melody on the instrument.

“I really want to have a Madonna song to be mine,” you sigh dreamily.

“You’re a fan?”

“Oh, I grew up on her. I have an elaborate choreography for Hung Up,” you snort.

“You need to perform it for me.”

“No fucking way,” you laugh shaking your head. “Not even weed can make me dance for you.”

“Come on, I need to see that choreography, you can’t just hint it and then never show it to me!”

“Nah, not happening,” you laugh, sliding lower down in your seat, your head resting against the armrest of the couch.

You listen to him play the same melody over and over again with your eyes closed and though you really like what you are hearing, no words are forming in your mind that could serve as lyrics. Your phone buzzes on the cushion next to you and grabbing it you see a text from Taylor.

Taylor: Lawyers are on the case, we’ll have more tomorrow, don’t stress about it too much. Night! Xx

Sighing you drop the device back next to you, covering your eyes with your arms.

“You alright?” Harry softly asks.

“Nah, I just want to… disappear,” you sigh, tired of this fight you’ve been fighting for way too long.

“Is this about Jordan? He is a fucking ass, most people know it.”

“But not everyone!” you snap throwing your hands up. “And that fraction that still believes that he is saying the truth is enough to ruin my life. I’m fucking fed up with the injustice women have to face because of the patriarchy we are forced to live in!” Pushing yourself up you run a hand through your hair, hugging your knees to your chest. “It’s so fucking upsetting, like everything I do goes straight down the drain because of one little thing and I’m stuck with trying to rebuild my whole future plan.”

From a sudden urge, you move down to the floor, lying down on the fluffy rug that runs under the couches and the glass coffee table. It feels nice, kind of grounding to lie flat on the floor, especially because your senses are all messed up again because of the weed, but in a good kind of way.

“You worry way too much on longterm things. Try to stay in the moment a little more,” Harry tells you, putting the guitar to the side so he can move his feet to the floor, leaning onto his knees. “You can’t control this much what happens in the future, you should only care about today. And today, you’ve done good, you made it through another day, you did what you had to do and that’s it. Stressing about tomorrow or the next week or next year is just way too much to deal with all the time, twenty-four-seven, three-six-five, that’s just no way to live.”

Lying on the floor you stare up at the ceiling seemingly blankly, but your mind starts to swirl over what he just told you. The worlds are running around, mixing and mingling until something starts to form, making you gasp.

“Grab the guitar,” you tell him, sitting up abruptly. He pulls his eyebrows together, but does as you told him to, holding the instrument on his lap as he waits for you to instruct him more. “Play that… that melody you’ve been playing, but a little faster.”

He turns his attention at the guitar, trying the strings out a few times, feeling the melody under his fingers before he starts playing it just how you asked as you slowly start to sing the lines you have just thought about.

“You made it through… another day, you made it through another day… You did it, let’s celebrate…”

The lines fit perfectly with the melody he has come up with and the more you sing, the wider his smile grows as you move along in the forming song.

“Some days you feel you’ll break, but you made it through another day, yeah, you did it, let’s celebrate…”

“Don’t fucking stop!” he chimes in, never stopping the riffs, trying out new things as you go, slowly perfecting it together with the lyrics.

“Twenty-four-seven and three-six-five, you made another day, you made it alive! Made another day made it alive!” You sing loud and clear, completely lost in the melody Harry is playing, the lines just flowing out of you, like a dam has been taken down and now everything washes over you at once.

When the chorus is about to come up however you run out of ideas, your eyes meet Harry’s and he sees that you’re stuck. His eyebrows knit together, tongue runs along his lips before he starts playing the melody of the chorus and takes over the singing as well.

“So today, baby, remember it’s okay! We’re all floating through space, today, baby, remember you’re okay! We’re all floating through space…”

He plays a little with the lines, repeats them, tries a few times before he stops singing, you are now standing up, watching him end the melody, neither of you saying a word as he room grows silent. A sudden urge drives you to go closer and you sit back down to the floor in front of him, your eyes casting over the now silent instrument on his lap. Looking up your eyes meet his and you feel like the air is kicked out of your lungs.

You’ve heard so much about moments when you feel yourself pulling towards someone, when it’s like a magnetic field but you never actually experienced it until now. Staring back at Harry you feel that pull everyone has talked about and you finally understand what they were trying to say. It’s like there’s a string coming from your chest that’s connected to him and he is tugging it without even doing anything.

Reaching forward he tugs a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers dancing down the side of your face as you catch his eyes wander down to your lips. Sucking on your breath you feel the moment, you know what he is thinking about because you think about the exact same thing. Kissing him. You are desperate to find out what his lips feel against yours, what he tastes like, what it’s like to have him so close to you.

“You want to kiss me,” you whisper and it’s not a question, more like an observation.

“I do,” he admits with a soft smile, but doesn’t move closer. “Can I?”

“I don’t think it’s an appropriate thing to do in our situation,” you breathe out, though you don’t agree with the statement fully.

“You think too much,” he chuckles softly, leaning closer just a tad bit, but there are still a few inches between the two of you. “Do you want to kiss me?”

“Yes,” you admit.

“Then we should just do what we want to,” he suggests with a small smirk and he looks ridiculously handsome with his dimples and shining green eyes that are glued to you.

“And then what? We’ll just go on like it never happened or there’s going to be more happening? How are we supposed to—“

You don’t get to finish, because Harry closes the distance between you and him and presses his lips against yours, swallowing the rest of your stammering speech. Whatever doubts and hesitation you felt just a moment ago, it all vanishes into nothing as you melt into his kiss, his lips caressing yours gently, softly capturing them, savoring and tasting you with caution, giving you the chance to pull back anytime, but nothing in your body can make you stop kissing him in this moment.

His palms cup your jaw as you push yourself up, slowly making your way to straddle his lap after he has blindly put the guitar to the side, hands coming to rest on his shoulder for leverage. His other hand grips your waist, pulling you close until your chest is pressed up against his, lips never disconnecting in the kiss.

Kissing him feels like second nature, like it’s not even the first but the hundredth time, but on the other hand, every touch and tiny sparkle is so new and unusual, you’ve never felt like this before.

Harry slowly pulls back, pecking your lips a few more times before he stops, nuzzling his nose against you in an adorable and innocent way that brings a smile to your lips.

“Doesn’t it feel good to just do whatever you feel like doing?” he asks with a soft smile, making you laugh.

“Kind of.”

“Nothing has to change. Or something can, it’s up to you.”

“You are so upsettingly cool and respectful,” you blurt out chuckling and it makes him laugh, his head falling back against the back of the couch.

“I’m sorry, I guess?” he smirks with a shrug.

“See? Respectful!” you grin, your hands moving up to cup his face. The pad of your thumbs gently tap against his dimples that are showing thanks to the wide smile on his lips right now. You can’t stop yourself from leaning down and kissing him again, even though your rational side is trying to make you stop. You just can’t, his lips are screaming to be kissed and who are you to deny that?

You’ve been running errands all day. Following an early meeting you ran to your favorite vintage store to get another armchair for your living room. Then you went grocery shopping because your fridge has been ridiculously empty the past two days and later you had a quick fitting for a few outfits you are supposed to wear in the near future. You’ve ran into a few fans too, having small chit-chats with them, taking photos, so it’s been a busy day.

It’s been a week since you and Harry have kissed and despite your fears, it hasn’t been awkward at all. He didn’t bring it up, but you don’t feel like he is pretending it never happened, which is kind of a great balance. He is giving you just enough time and space to figure out what it really meant to you, because quite frankly, you have no idea.

Obviously, you find him attractive. You’d have to be completely blind to say that he is not handsome and just simply good to look at. You’re attracted to him and not just to his looks, but to his whole persona.

It’s just you’re not sure it’s a smart idea to start anything with the man you’re working with and though you know Harry is nothing like Jordan, part of you is still scared the whole thing will happen all over again if you get involved with another man from the industry.

Workwise, everything is going well. You’ve successfully finished the song you started that ominous evening and have started recording it in Harry’s home studio, working some more on the melody, bringing a lot more into it than just a single guitar. What more, you’ve been coming up with new ideas for other songs, lyrics popping up in either your or Harry’s head and you just keep sharing them with each other, saving them for later once the song for the Grammy’s is done.

Heading back to your place you get a call from Harry, his smiley face appearing on the screen of your face as you accept the call and his accent fills the car through the speakers that are connected to your phone through Bluetooth.

“Hey, hope I’m not calling in the middle of a meeting,” he greets you and you can tell he is smiling.

“No, I’m just on my way home. What’s up?”

“I’m meeting with Sarah and Mitch for dinner tonight, thought you’d like to join us.”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude on your time with your friends, I feel like you’ve been spending all your time with me.”

“But I like spending time with you,” he chuckles softly, a blush making its way to your cheeks at his words.

“Are you sure you want me there? What about Sarah and Mitch? I crashed your last meeting with them as well.”

“You didn’t crash anything, Y/N. And I’m positive I want you there, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t. And just so you know, Sarah asked if you’d be joining us, so I assume they wouldn’t mind it either.”

“Oh, well, okay then. Send me the time and place.”

“Wonderful!” he beams, his enthusiasm making your chest warm.

By the time you arrive home he has already texted you the details and you have just one hour to spare before you have to head out. You opt for a quick shower and an outfit change, switching up your ripped mom jeans and simple t-shirt to one of your favorite jumpsuits. It’s a little baggy, but the waist is cinched in with an inbuilt corset, giving the whole fit a very interesting twist.

Arriving at the restaurant Harry has texted you the address of, the waiter escorts you to the terrace at the back that’s a lot more secluded and you feel yourself relaxing that you probably won’t get photographed. Harry is the only one who is already at the table, sitting with his eyes fixed on his phone, but he immediately puts it aside when he sees you approaching, a wide smile stretching across his face.

“Hey! You look amazing!” he greets you pulling you into a quick hug.

“Thank you,” you smile shyly. He is wearing a pair of brown slacks, a simple white shirt tucked into it, a knitted cardigan thrown on, a typical Harry outfit. “And thanks for the invite,” you add as you take the seat next to him, assuming Sarah and Mitch would like to sit next to each other.

“Don’t even mention it. We’re friends, it’s really nothing. I’m glad you could make it.”

The way he called you friends is giving you mixed feelings. Part of you is happily jumping up and down at the fact that he considers you as a friend, given how you don’t have many of those. It’s been hard opening up to anyone since you’ve made a name for yourself, you’ve ran into occasions a lot when people wanted more than just your friendship from you and it made you rather closed off when it comes to making friends.

On the other hand, you can’t help but feel a little disappointed. Is that all you are? Just friends? More importantly, is that all you want to be, or more?

Sarah and Mitch arrive soon after, joining you at the table and the waiter takes the orders before leaving the four of you alone. It seems like they genuinely like it that you’ve joined, so you can enjoy the evening a little more relieved.

Sipping on some amazing wine, you eat and talk and you feel like you’ve known these people your whole life. You especially like Sarah, she is so open-minded and funny and you think they make a great couple with Mitch who is obviously more closed off, but it’s obvious how much he worships his girlfriend.

Sometime in the evening, when you’ve already had two glasses of Chardonnay and you’re feeling a lot more relaxed and comfortable, you move closer to Harry without even noticing, leaning against him gently and his hand rests on your knee, giving it a soft squeeze under the table, making you want to move even closer to him to feel more of his touch, to get more of him.

Neither Sarah, nor Mitch questions the two of you being a little cozier and you’re thankful for the safe and stressfree environment they are providing, not making you overthink what you do, just letting you enjoy the moment.

At the end of the evening, you can’t shake the thought that you don’t want to say goodbye to Harry just yet. He pays for everyone’s dinner, leaving a generous tip for the waiter and you stay back at the table while Sarah runs out to the restroom and Mitch takes a quick call from his father, leaving you alone with Harry. His hand is still resting on your leg, a little farther up, but still in a very safe zone in the middle of your thigh.

Turning to face him your eyes meet his, his green irises glistening in the soft lighting and he looks so beautiful, you just want to kiss him again.

“Do you have plans after this?” you find yourself asking.

“Not that I know of.”

“Do you want to come over to my place?”

“That sounds like a nice plan,” he smiles at you warmly and you just know that if you weren’t out in the public, he would have leant in for a kiss and you wouldn’t have stopped him.

When Sarah and Mitch return all four of you head out and they don’t question when you follow Harry to his car. They say goodbye and Sarah makes you promise to join them some other time too and you happily say yes to the invitation.

Not much is being said on the way back to your place, he plays some music quietly as you navigate him through the streets.  

“Welcome to mi casa,” you smile as you key the two of you into your apartment you’ve been living in for the past few years.

It’s nothing luxurious, just a tad bit bigger than what one person would need as a home. You would have been fine living in your previous home you lived in before you’ve gained fame, but you needed a much bigger closet so you were forced to move. It’s a two bedroom apartment with one big bathroom, an open concept kitchen and a spacious living room. And of course, a closet as big as your bedroom. It’s the perfect size and you haven’t even thought about buying a bigger place just because you can, it would be a waste of money and space. The interior is very much vintage with all your mismatched furniture and colorful walls, but you think it’s quite cozy and just the ideal space for you.

“Would you like something to drink?” you ask, walking into the kitchen to get yourself some water.

“Some water would be great, thank you.”

Filling up two glasses you hand him one as you lean against the counter, silently eyeing each other. It should be clear to him that you had intentions with asking him to come over, especially after being your cozy with each other during dinner, but you’re a little lost in what you should or even want to do. You just know you want him close.

He drinks up his water, his eyes meeting your gaze as a small smirk tugs on his cherry lips.

“You want to kiss me,” he states, using the exact same words you used the night when you kissed for the first time.

“I do,” you nod, feeling a little breathless.

“Then do it,” he simply answers, making you smile.

“Cool and respectful, as always,” you grin at him as he moves closer, stopping just a few inches away from you, your feet almost touching. Reaching up his fingers gently caress the side of your face and you feel yourself already melting under his touch.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, a shiver running down your spine at his words. You close your eyes for a moment, giving yourself the chance to pull out of it, but you realize you don’t want that, not even the tiniest bit. Opening your eyes they meet with his gaze before you move closer, closing the distance between you and him, lips meeting in a warm and chaste kiss.

Though it grows a little hungrier, you can tell he is still holding back a little, giving you the chance to stop whenever you want to, but you don’t intend to. Pushing yourself closer to him, your arms curl around his neck as his hands grip your waist, your tongue meeting his as you deepen the kiss and melt into his embrace.

Pulling back you grab his hand and head to the bedroom, going back to kissing him the moment you reach it. You easily slide his cardigan off his broad shoulders, pulling his t-shirt out of his pants before taking it completely off, throwing it somewhere to the side. You smirk against his lips, hands wandering down his naked chest and you can’t push down a moan as you feel the warmth of his chest muscles under your touch.

When you feel him try to blindly figure out how to get you out of your jumpsuit with not much luck and this clears your head for a moment to realize what is about to happen. Pulling back your gaze meets his and he stares back at you with caution, ready to stop whenever you tell him to, but that’s not what made you pull back.

“Harry, I…” “We don’t have to do anything,” he softly tells you, his fingers dancing down the side of your face until they reach your chin and he pulls you in for a delicate and slow kiss.

“I want to,” you whisper. “It’s just that… I want you to know that I’ve never… I’ve never been with a man before.”

Searching in his eyes you look for any sign of what���s going on in his head wishing you could just simply read his thoughts.

“You’ve never been with a man?” he asks, seemingly not as surprised as you expected him to be. You nod, licking your lips, waiting for any kind of reaction, a part of you expecting to be upset, though you know he has no right to be mad at you for any of it. “Do you want me to be the first man?” he then asks, with a loving and warm smile as his hand on your hip pulls you against him playfully.

“Yes.”

“Then help me get you out of this jumpsuit, because I can’t figure it out for my life,” he chuckles making you laugh too.

You show him where the corset opens and then get you out of it with joined forces, finally leaving you standing in just your underwear. Harry’s gaze runs down your body, a look of hunger and passion shining through his green irises as he pulls you close again, kissing you with a lot more vigor this time.

Soon enough, his slacks slip to the floor and you climb to your bed, Harry following closely, climbing on top of you before rejoining your lips. Your knees open up wide for him, allowing him to sink his hips between your thighs, his crotch meeting your heated center, a moan slipping out your lips when you feel his erection rubbing against you through the material of your underwear. He kisses his way down your jawline and neck, gently sucking on the soft skin, peppering kisses along your collarbones before he reaches your chest. He easily unclasps your bra and slips the straps down your arms before getting rid of the barrier that’s been keeping him away from your naked chest.

“Fuck, Y/N, you are so damn beautiful,” he breathes out shakily, before his lips wrap around your right nipple, his hand cupping your other breast. You keep whining and whimpering as you feel his tongue swirl around your nipple before his mouth moves over to the other breast, giving it just the same amount of attention.

He kisses down your stomach, glancing up at you as he hooks his fingers into the elastic of your panties silently asking for your permission to go further, still so respectfully looking out for you. As an answer, you lift your hips up so he can easily slide the material down your legs and throw it to the side.

“Oh fuck!” you moan when his tongue and lips press against your bud, playing with it oh so perfectly, making you shudder. If you didn’t think Harry was perfect, his tongue work is now surely making a statement on that.

With every lick, kiss and suck he pushes you closer to your release that’s nearing in a fast pace like never before. Reaching down you lace your fingers through his chocolate curls, tugging on the lightly, making him moan against your core. You’re not sure how long you’ll last, but you want to cum with him inside you, so you pull him up, lips meeting again as you still taste your own juice on him. It’s heavenly.

Without breaking the kiss you reach down and into his underwear, palming his fully hard cock, earning a satisfied growl when you wrap your hand around him. The feeling is quite unknown, you’ve only once had to face a penis before, it happened back in high school when you were still figuring out what sexuality meant to you. Gave a wobbly and quite short handjob to a guy from the grade above you, never even talked to him again. The experience left a major effect on you, never even got close to being intimate with a man, but being with Harry now is putting everything into a whole new light.

“Do you have a condom?” he mumbles against your lips, clearly just as excited to carry on as you are.

“Yeah,” you nod and let go of him, rolling to the edge of the bed so you can dig into the drawer of your nightstand, successfully finding the little silver packet. Tearing it open you hand it over to Harry and get back to your previous position as you watch him kneeling up, rolling the condom on carefully. Your lips part when your eyes fall on his cock, seeing now how big he really is. Harry catches your eyes and leaning down he kisses you softly.

“Tell me if it hurts and I’ll stop, okay?” he kindly tells you, but you smile at him coyly.

“You might be the first man I’m with, but your dick won’t be the first thing to be inside me,” you answer with a smug smirk and it brings an amused look to his face.

“You are so fucking hot,” he murmurs, pressing his lips against yours in a hard kiss as he settles himself back between your legs.

Though you really tried to sound confident the other moment, you still feel a little nervous about it and Harry senses it right away. Holding himself up on one arm he cups your face in his other, kissing you slowly, taking his time with his lips, as if he is trying to make you forget about everything else but his lips.

“Are you still sure about this?” he softly asks, looking for any sign of hesitation in your eyes, but there’s none.

“Yeah, I want this. I want you,” you nod and reaching down between your bodies, you take him in your hands again, positioning him to your center.

Harry captures your lips in another passionate kiss as he pushes into you slowly, filling you up inch by inch. You gasp at the sensation, feeling a little tight around him, but not in an uncomfortable way.

“You alright?” he asks once he is almost fully in.

“Yeah, go ahead,” you breathe out with a small nod. He pecks your lips and slowly pushes all the way in before he starts to move out and then slide in again, picking up a not too fast but still firm pace with his movements.

You gradually get used to the feeling of him sliding in and out of you, it’s surely a whole different experience than using a dildo or any kind of toy you are used to. The thought that it belongs to him is bringing you a sense of intimacy you haven’t felt in a long time.

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you dig your fingers into his hot skin that’s coated with a thin layer of sweat as he keeps moving, slowly picking up his pace as you both get closer to the endgame.

“Harry, faster, please!” you plead, legs coming to wrap around his waist so he can thrust in deeper, making you go completely nuts from the way your orgasm is already forming in the pit of your tummy.

He obeys without a second thought, slamming into you faster and harder, making you continuously moan his name, the room is filled with moans and panting, the slapping noise of his hips meeting yours.

Harry buries his face into the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking on the soft skin, definitely leaving a mark, but you couldn’t care less. You just grab a handful of his hair, shutting your eyes closed as you feel yourself nearing the end.

“Harry, I’m gonna cum,” you pant, barely hanging on.

Instead of stretching it out and trying to play with you, Harry clearly wants you to combust. Reaching down between your bodies his index and middle fingers find your clit and he starts circling on it, adding that little extra you needed to fall over the edge.

Moaning and whimpering under his massive body, your orgasm washes over you in waves, bringing you such an intense satisfaction you’ve never felt before. He keeps up his thrusting and just a few moments later his movements fall out of his rhythm and mumbling your name over and over again, he gasps as he rides his high while you’re still trying to catch your breath following your own.

With a heaving chest Harry rolls off of you, gets rid of the condom and throws it to the small bin you keep next to your night stand and then lies flat beside you as you both just silently stare up at the ceiling, very much in the best kind of after sex haze.

“How are you feeling?” he then asks, rolling to his side, his hand coming to rest on your bare stomach. Turning your head to the side you crack a smile at him.

“I feel like I’ve just been properly fucked,” you bluntly answer, making him laugh wholeheartedly. Rolling to your side his arm falls to your waist as you scoot closer, your face only a few inches from his. He is so pretty up close, his features never fail to amuse you, hard to believe he is a real human, lying right next to you.

He closes his eyes a little, letting his head sink into the pillow as his fingers delicately dance up and down your side and back. You feel like you owe him to say something, dropping a major detail about yourself in a heated moment.

“I had two girlfriends,” you speak up, his eyes fluttering open to your words. “The first one was when I was eighteen, we dated for almost a year, then I briefly dated a guy, but it was barely just a month. And I had my second girlfriend when I was twenty. We were together for two years.”

“Are you still friends with them?”

“I still talk to the second one. Her name is Mila. We broke up because she moved to Spain for a job for a year and we didn’t want to do long-distance. Then we just… grew apart, but we still talk sometimes. She lives in Atlanta now, she has a girlfriend and she told me that she is planning to propose soon.”

A soft smile tugs on your lips as you talk about her. She was an important person in your life in a time that was truly challenging. Mila supported your dreams, she went to a lot of your concerts and she was the first one you called when you got your record deal even though you weren’t together anymore. She has seen you go from performing in dodgy bars to rocking the stage of arenas.

“Congrats to her,” Harry smiles through tired eyes. Reaching up he tucks your hair behind your ear before leaning closer he envelopes your lips in a soft kiss.

“We really shouldn’t have done this,” you hum, though you can’t wipe the satisfied smile off your lips.

“Why not?”

“Because we work together.”

“So what? We aren’t allowed to like each other?” he smirks cockily.

“You like me?”

“Thought I made that pretty clear,” he chuckles rubbing his eyes. “But yeah, I do like you, Y/N. A lot.”

“I… like you too,” you admit shyly. Leaning in he kisses you again before pulling you to his chest as he lies on his back.

“Can I stay the night or you want to throw me out?” he hums closing his eyes. Chuckling your snuggle to him, making yourself comfortable, enjoying the warmth of his body after so spending so many nights alone in this bed.

“You can stay, but you have to behave.”

“Oh I will behave my best, don’t worry.” A chuckle rumbles through his chest as you both fall silent and soon enough, drift off to sleep.

You wake up tangled in the sheets, but no one else is lying in bed with you. Blinking the sleep out of your eyes you look around and though there’s no sign of Harry in the room you spot his clothes on the floor. That’s when you hear the pots and pans clinking somewhere outside and you smile to yourself. You pull a t-shirt on with a pair of clean panties before heading out, finding Harry in your kitchen, wearing your pink fluffy robe and nothing else as he is making what seems to be pancakes.

“I don’t remember hiring a chef,” you joke walking closer, sliding a hand down his back as you lean against the counter next to the stove.

“Good morning,” he smiles. “I really wanted for you to wake up but I was afraid my growling stomach might wake you up,” he chuckles as he flips the pancakes in the pan with the spatula.

“Found everything you needed?” you ask, walking over the fridge to grab the orange juice.

“Yeah, you have a neatly organized kitchen,” he hums. “Sorry for snooping around though.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Pouring the juice to two glasses you hand one to him which he thanks softly before placing the golden pancakes to the plate on the counter and pours another bunch into the pan.

Sipping on your juice you watch him move around, making breakfast in your robe and you can’t help but smile at the sight of this fine man in your kitchen. Harry catches you eyeing him and he cocks an eyebrow at you.

“What’s gotten you so smiley?” he asks, his voice still a little groggy and husky.

“I just… really want to kiss you,” you shrug placing the glass to the counter.

“I think we are over this whole asking for permission thing,” he smirks, stepping closer he leans down and kisses you gently, tasting like orange juice and something sweet, he has probably ate one of the pancakes. His hand that’s not holding the spatula finds your waist, the t-shirt bunches up on your side as he pulls you closer, deepening the kiss before you hear sizzling coming from the stove.

“Whoops, not trying to burn the place down,” he chuckles as he turns to the pan and flips the pancakes. You wrap your arms around his waist and kiss his jawline before stepping away from him to set the table for breakfast.

“Do you have any plans this weekend?” he asks over breakfast.

“I have a meeting with my label on Saturday, but nothing else.”

“I’m having a few friends over Saturday evening, kind of a late Grammy nomination celebration. Want to come over?”

“Yeah, that… sounds good,” you nod smiling.

“I was thinking that maybe you could spend the night and then we can finish recording on Sunday.”

“Alright, I’m in.”

Harry takes a quick shower after breakfast before heading out, promising to call you later and though it still feels a little odd that he says goodbye with a kiss, you very much like this new setup between the two of you.

Friday evening Taylor is over at your place, she loves helping you sort out promo stuff you get sent all the time, especially because you let her take whatever you don’t want, half her closet was meant to be worn by you.

Sitting on the floor with boxes surrounding the both of you, you’re digging through them with a bottle of wine, some 90’s music playing in the background, it’s a nice and relaxing evening.

Your phone lights up with a text on the coffee table and you already know it’s from Harry. You haven’t stopped texting since he left from your place just a few days ago.

Harry: Do you think it’s a look for the Grammy’s?

He attached a photo of himself in all denim, looking very much like 2001 Justin Timberlake at the AMA.

Y/N: Should I match and pull a Britney?

Harry: Is that even a question?!

“Okay, who’s the girl?” Taylor asks, making you tear your eyes away from the phone’s screen.

“Huh?”

“Last time I saw you smiling like this at your phone you were talking to that girl you met at that award show. So who is it this time?”

“It’s… not a girl,” you admit, placing your phone back to the coffee table.

“Oh, did a guy finally manage to sweep you off your feet?” Taylor gives you an amused look, genuinely surprised to hear that this time it’s a guy that has you wrapped around his finger. “What is his name?”

“Harry,” you shortly answer and see her eyes widen.

“Wait, is it… Harry as in Harry Styles?”

“Yeah,” you admit with a soft chuckle.

“Oh my God, I knew I could feel some sexual tension between you two at Jeff’s office!”

“There wasn’t any, what are you talking about?”

“You didn’t see it because you were too busy trying to blow off the duet, but it was radiating from him.” She gives you a look, putting the sweater she’s been examining to the side. “So, how are things? Are you guys an item, or…?”

“We didn’t label anything, he just said he likes me and I like him too. And he… spent the night the other day.”

“Wait, what? Spent the night as in—“

“Yes, we had sex,” you confirm blushing.

“That’s like huge! The first man you’ve been with!”

“I know,” you chuckle.

“How was it?”

“Fucking amazing,” you truthfully admit with a sigh. “I didn’t think it could be this good with a guy. Maybe it’s just because it was with him.”

“He surely looks like a guy that takes good care of his girl. So what’s gonna happen? Are you guys together?”

“I don’t know. He doesn’t seem to care about names and labels, he just likes to do whatever he wants and if I’m being honest it’s kind of refreshing. We are just… enjoying whatever we have.”

“That sounds very liberal,” Taylor chuckles. “But I’m happy for you. You’ve been alone for way too long, I think he might do good to you.”

“I really hope,” you nod with a sigh.

“How is the song writing going?”

“We’re finishing up recording on Sunday. I’ll send it to you when it’s done and we can start all the paperwork and everything.”

“Amazing, you are doing great, Y/N, I’m proud of you,” she smiles and climbing over she wraps you in a tight hug.

“Thanks, Tay,” you smile at her. “Alright, now do you want these lace socks or should I burn them?” you ask holding up a whole pack of them, making her laugh.

Harry said it’s just a chill get together, nothing fancy so you decide to wear a khaki maxi skirt with a shirt tucked into it that was a gift from a fan, your first album’s name embroidered to the front. It’s one of your favorite pieces and you like wearing things your fans make you, gives the whole fit a plus.

Arriving to Harry’s place you spot that there are a few cars already parking on the driveway. You leave your overnight bag in the trunk, grab the bottle of wine you’ve brought and head inside. Unlike every time you’ve been here, the silence is now switched up with soft music and chatters, quite a few people lingering around the house already.

Just as you walk farther inside, Harry appears on the stairs and his face lights up at the sight of you.

“Hey! Did you just arrive?” He jogs down the rest of the stairs and walking up to you he pulls you close for a quick kiss without hesitation.

“Yeah. I know you said not to bring anything, but I hate coming to parties empty handed,” you chuckle softly, holding the wine bottle up.

“Thanks. Have you eaten? Jeff is grilling outside, but help yourself with anything.”

“I’ll be fine, thanks.”

“Sarah and Mitch are already here, but come on, let me introduce you to a few people.”

Harry takes your hand, lacing your fingers together with his. He drops the wine off in the kitchen before joining all the other guests. It’s really not that many people, just about thirty of his close circle. Musicians, people he has worked with and stayed close with, people he has known for long. Everyone seems welcoming and open, many already know who you are and it’s always a good conversation start, so there are not many awkward silences, especially because Harry is always near you, making sure you feel comfortable around his friends and it means a lot to you.

“Hey, everything alright?” Harry asks, when he finds you in the kitchen, refilling your glass. He walks up to you, placing a hand to your waist as he kisses into your hair.

“Yeah, your friends are nice,” you smile at him.

“I know, that’s why they are my friends,” he smirks, so full of himself. “Want to hear something interesting?”

“Always.”

“I was talking to Adam and our song came up and then out of nowhere I referred to you as my girlfriend.”

Seemingly he is testing the waters, trying to see how you react to the title, even a little afraid of what you might say, but it doesn’t scare you.

“Yeah? That’s interesting indeed.”

“Are you okay with it? I wasn’t really thinking about it, just slipped out.”

“It’s fine,” you smile at him softly.

“You don’t have to call me your boyfriend, call me whatever you want. It’s just a habit of mine, I guess,” he explains, popping some nuts into his mouth from the little jar on the counter.

“Alright,” you nod. Harry stares back at you for a moment before a smile stretches across his face and leaning down he kisses you shortly before taking your hand and walking back to the living room with you.

The last guests leave around midnight. After bringing your bag up to his bedroom you start cleaning up while Harry walks out the last couple leaving. You start loading the washer and put away things you’ve cleaned before.

“Oh, thank you for cleaning, but you don’t have to. I can take care of it later.”

“It’s nothing, I want to make myself useful,” you chuckle softly as you start the washer. Harry comes up behind you, his arms wrapping around your waist as he kisses into your neck.

“I have other ideas for that,” he murmurs, his nose nudging the side of your face.

“Yeah? What kind of ideas?” you teasingly ask, closing your eyes when you feel his hand slide under the waist of your skirt, moving down your abdomen until it reaches your core.

“Fun kinds,” he chuckles lowly. His other hand turns your head so his lips could meet yours, you’re still pressed up against him, melting against his chest with your back just right, like you’re two puzzle pieces.

“Fuck,” you breathe out when his fingers wander into your underwear and they start doing their magic. “Harry!” you whine, reacting intensely to his actions.

“I fucking love hearing my name from your pretty mouth,” he growls, kissing you hard before his lips part from yours and he starts bunching up your skirt.

You don’t protest, in fact, you lean forward, grabbing onto the edge of the counter as he pulls down your panties and you hear the zipper of his pants. Glancing over your shoulders you see him pull out a condom from his pocket and you can’t push down a laughter.

“Did you keep that in your pocket all evening?”

“Wanted to be ready when I finally got you all for myself,” he smirks, pulling his cock out of his boxer briefs, rolling on the condom.

His hands come in contact with your hips and ass cheeks, giving them a light squeeze before you feel him lining himself up with you. His palm slides up your back as he pushes into you, both of you moaning at the fulfilling sensation.

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” he breathes out as he pushes all the way inside before starting to pull out.

“Go hard, Harry. Please!” you whimper as he starts thrusting into you. Harry lets out a growl and slams into you, making you gasp at the harshness of the movement, but that’s exactly what you wanted.

The kitchen is filled with the noises coming from the washer next to you and the slapping noise of Harry’s hips meeting your ass with every forceful thrust he makes. His ring clad fingers dig into your hips, probably already making them red, but you couldn’t care less. You hold onto the edge of the counter, but then you move one hand to cover his on you, needing to touch him in some kind of way.

Leaning forward Harry kisses your back between your shoulder blades through the thin material of your shirt and you moan his name when he hits the perfect spot inside you.

“Shit, Harry! I’m g-gonna cum!” you gasp, perking your ass up more so he can go as deep as possible.

“Let go for me, baby. Come on!”

“I want to cum with you.”

“Yeah? Then hold on for a little longer, I’m almost there.”

You try your best to keep everything inside you under control, your orgasm is really on the edge and you can only hope he is nearing his end too.

“Harry! Please!”

“Fuck, okay, okay, cum for me! Let me feel you!” he moans and his words bring you the release.

You clench around him, moaning and whimpering and it finally pushes you into his bliss too. His thrusts slow down but they are hard and go deep, helping you ride the last bits of your high.

He pulls out and gets rid of the condom before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you up from your position so he can kiss your lips.

“How about we take a shower while the washer finishes?” he suggests, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Mm, good idea.”

Once the song is fully finished you submit it to your label after an agreement that it should come out through yours, but it wouldn’t be tied to your or Harry’s upcoming album. Everyone seems to love it, Taylor is over the moon when you show her the final version and Jeff is just as happy about it. Having only three more weeks left until the Grammy’s, you send them your request to perform the duet instead of the medley they asked. Their answer comes the next day and they are more than happy to have you premiere your new duet at the show. Everything seems to be on track.

Following a rehearsal for the Grammy performance, you’re staying over at Harry’s, just eating takeout and having a lazy evening after a whole day of working. You’ve put on a new Netflix movie, but every time you look at Harry you feel like his mind is somewhere far away.

“Want to share what’s on your mind?” you ask softly, not wanting to be pushy, you’re just trying to be there for him.

“I’ve just been thinking.”

“About what?” He looks up at you, clearly hesitant whether he should share it with you or not.

“About what you said about your parents.”

“Oh,” is all you can say. Pausing the movie you turn all your attention to him. “What about it?”

“I was just talking to my mom the other day, she is coming here for the Grammy’s and I thought about how you… won’t have your parents there with you.”

“There’s a reason for that.”

“Yeah, but then I thought about how you said you haven’t even let them contact you since then and that maybe they’ve changed their mind about the whole situation. You’ve clearly proved them wrong with building yourself a career, maybe they can now see that what they did was wrong.”

You remain silent, chewing on his words. You’ve been great at not thinking about your parents these past years, it feels weird to have a conversation about them out of nowhere. Harry takes your silence as a warning sign, though that’s not the case.

“You know what? I’m sorry for bringing it up. It’s not really my business, I shouldn’t have brought it up, sorry,” he shakes his head.

“What… would you do if you were in my place?”

Harry looks at you, surprised you are willing to continue the conversation. His hand finds your thigh and he gives it a gentle squeeze.

“I think it might worth a shot to just… contact them. See if they want to maybe get in touch again.”

“And what if they don’t?”

“Then… you know you made the right decision leaving. I know it’s scary, but I think you should take a chance.”

“I’ll… think about it,” you nod shortly.

“Take your time, do whatever you feel comfortable with.” He pulls you into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as you get comfortable in his embrace before starting the movie again.

Two weeks before the show you are headed to a fitting with Harry, your matching sets are nearly done, but they needed you to try them on and make sure they fit just perfectly. True to your and Harry’s extravagant fashion, this performance won’t lack any over the top fits either. It was clear from the beginning that you would be matching, but you made it clear that you want to bring it to the level where you’d be wearing the exact same outfit, so now there are two sets of suits in the making, the pattern of the whole two piece is recalling a kind of space vibe, blues, purples and black meeting in the colors with hundreds of embroidered stars and planets littering the fabric with additional crystal stars to make it even more extra. It’s truly one of a kind, especially paired with the sheer, tulle shirt you both will be wearing underneath.

“We look fucking great, babe,” Harry smirks as the two of you stand next to each other, examining yourself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror on the small podium.

“We really do,” you smirk, satisfied with how the performance is coming together. It’s gonna be the perfect way to celebrate both your first Grammy nominations, a huge milestone in your and Harry’s career as well.

Grabbing his phone he quickly takes a picture in the mirror of the two of you, pulling you to his side as you smile into the camera through the mirror. Then you leave him alone on the podium as they are pinning his pants to make it the perfect size. Stepping to your bag you fish your phone out and reading just the first few words of Taylor’s last message she sent about ten minutes ago, you feel all blood rushing out of your face. Tapping on the notification you start reading.

Taylor: Please don’t lose your head, but we are dealing with this.

She attached several articles and you start digging through them.

“Is Harry Styles dating his new duet partner?”

“Harry Styles cozied up with Y/N Y/L/N at dinner with friends.”

“Can we expect some hot make out sessions at the Grammy’s from Harry and his new beau?”

And then there’s the absolute worst.

“Is Y/N Y/L/N going to take Harry Styles to court too?”

“Shit, shit, shit,” you mumble under your breath, vigorously typing back to Taylor to take them down. Two pictures have been leaked from the time you had dinner with Sarah and Mitch, it’s so odd because it’s been weeks since then, where were these pictures all along? Not that it matters, all you want is for them to be gone.

Against your better judgment, you go online and check your social media even though you know you shouldn’t snoop around now that it’s out there. No surprise, you and Harry are trending, but the reactions are very much mixed.

The impact of your case with Jordan is still major. It doesn’t matter that you won, people are still questioning whether he said the truth or not and now they are afraid you might drag Harry down just like you did with Jordan. That you are just trying to use his fame to get more attention and then ruin his career, making a victim out of yourself again, because apparently that’s what you’ve been doing.

You’re not only being dragged, but all of a sudden, nothing is about the music and the art you are making, people just want to know if you’re fucking Harry Styles or not. A lot of the times you’re not even named, only referred to Harry’s new lover or what’s worse, his hookup. You’ve lost all the credit you worked so hard for and for what? Because you dared to have dinner with a man?

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Harry asks walking up to you. Your eyes snap up at him and he immediately sees the shock and anger in them, setting panic in him as well. “What is it?”

“The fucking… pictures,” you hiss handing him your phone so he can see the articles for himself. He scrolls through them with furrowed eyebrows, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip before handing the phone back once he has gotten to the end of it.

“Let’s finish this up and head home, okay? We’ll figure it all out.” He presses a kiss to your forehead and you nod, trying your best to keep your anger at bay while the designers finish up on the outfits.

An hour later you walk into your place, talking on the phone with Taylor, discussing the situation though there’s not much you can do at this point. It’s all out, the pictures can’t be taken down. She suggests to just keep quiet for now, she’ll call Jeff to see what could be done as damage control.

Throwing your phone to the bed you feel your whole body shaking from the anger, it’s agonizing to know there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine. We’ll figure it out,” Harry speaks up, trying his best to calm you down, but it’s not really working this time.

“Stop saying it, you don’t know that for sure. I can’t believe this bullshit is happening all over again,” you breathe out shaking your head.

“Again?”

“Yes! I’m being fucking dragged for something I shouldn’t be.”

“People will always have controversial opinion on everything, you can’t get them all to like you.”

“It’s not about liking, Harry!” you snap. “I couldn’t give a damn about people liking me, but they discredit my work. Have you read those articles? I’m seen with a man and suddenly, I’m not even seen as an artist anymore. I’m not even my own person in some of them, just a girl who is linked to you. How is that fair?” “It’s not, but stressing yourself about it until you’re sick is not gonna help anything,” he retorts in a firm voice.

“So I should just sit around and so nothing while watching all my work go to shit?”

“Nothing is going to shit! This is how it goes, there’s always something people talk about but they will forget about it in a week. That doesn’t take anything away from what you’ve proved through your career.”

“Now that’s a lie. Because if they did forget about things in a week, they wouldn’t be bringing up the whole Jordan thing now. I dared to stand up for myself against a man and look where it took me to! I’m the drama queen, the lying bitch who likes to ruin men for apparently no reason and they see me as a threat when it comes to you too. People are talking about how I’ll take you to court as well, they think I’m just using you even though they know nothing about me! And the worst part is that it wouldn’t be like this if I weren’t a woman. Whatever happens, however we react to the situation, it will never have the same effect on your career than it will have on mine.”

“So what, you’ll just live your life without ever doing anything that’s gonna upset people? There will always be someone who’ll judge whatever you do, you can’t do anything about that and if you let them get to you now, they’ll know they can mess with you easily.”

“So I’m just supposed to ignore everything? And not do a single thing about it? It’s easy for you, you’ll walk away from this without a scratch on your name, because you are a white man who can do no wrong in the eyes of the world.”

“Okay, now you are being mean for no reason.”

“I’m telling you the truth,” you retort. “And you know what else is part of the truth? That I’m not even having it the worse. There are women who are even more targeted because of their religion, their skin color, their nationality or sexuality and people don’t even realize how hard it is for any of us. I’m sick of the injustice we have to live with just because of our gender!”

“I do acknowledge the problem on hand, I’m aware of it and I’m all for doing against it, but we are not gonna solve it instantly, it’s a long process. Sometimes we just have to pull back a little, be smart about things.”

“They will never stop about this,” you shake your head, stubbornly clinging onto your opinion. “I won’t be seen as a serious artist anymore, just some girl who was linked to you. It’s fucking done, over.”

“Y/N, what are you trying to say?” Harry asks with caution.

“Exactly what you are thinking about,” you reply with a bitter laugh. “I can’t be a respected artist if I’m with you.”

“That’s not true. It will die down, they will see that you are more than just who you’re dating and everything will be fine.”

“What’s not fair is that I have to work for it to be fine while you are still the same artist you were before it all blew up. Don’t you think it’s unfair?” you call him out and part of you knows you’re being mean and unnecessarily rude to him, but you just can’t control it any longer. You need to let it out and unfortunately, he is the one who is here to take the blame.

“It is, but what are you expecting me to do about it? Release a statement asking people to only talk about my dating life to make it equal? What can be done is that we try to fight this together, show them that you’re more than just a woman who is linked to a man in any kind of way.”

“Yeah, like realization is just gonna hit them,” you snap. “I’m at a turning point in my career, Harry. Whether I win a Grammy or not, this time is going to have an impact on my future. If I’m seen as just a girl linked to you, I’ll never make it. I’ll be forgotten and dragged again and I can kiss my career goodbye.”

You know you were way too harsh, but it’s what you think to be the truth. You didn’t fight your way to this point in life just to be seen as a man’s girlfriend rather than the artist you truly are. And right now, you can’t see yourself get out of this situation without letting go of Harry.

“Y/N, please don’t let this ruin what we have. We can get through this, you can’t let them control your life this much. Who are they to tell you what to do? That’s not the Y/N I know, come on!”

He tries to step closer, reaching out for you, but you take a step back, wanting to keep the distance between the two of you.

“I would prefer to be alone now,” you sternly say, folding your arms on your chest, closing yourself off from him as you don’t even look at him, because if you did, you know you would break.

“Y/N, please don’t do this, we—“

“Alone!” you snap, cutting him off.

He stares at you, hoping you might change your mind, but you’re quite set on this. He knows you well enough to know you won’t budge anytime soon. He lets out a shaky breath and slowly turning around, he heads towards the door as you’re already fighting your tears back. He stops right before he is about to walk out.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N,” he quietly says before walking out, the door shutting closed behind him.

The sobs start immediately and you fall to the ground, tears soaking your cheeks, already missing him more than anything in your life. You really thought it would be different this time, that things might get better, but you were naïve.

The next two days go by in a blur. The whole fucking internet is filled with those damn pictures of you and Harry, nothing has been about any of your Grammy nominations or even about your music, you’ve officially became the woman Harry Styles is dating.

Harry was titled as a Grammy nominee in every goddamn writing that surfaced, he was completely credited for his work while you could be happy if your name was written correctly. With every new article, your faith in having the career you worked so hard for lessened until you felt hopeless. You’ve officially became a dumb celebrity, just a woman who was known to be dating a man in the industry.

On the evening of the second day you have enough. You just read yet another degrading piece of you that was clearly written by a man, they once again talked about your case with Jordan, joking about history repeating itself and you swear you could scream and throw a tantrum like a baby at how useless and helpless you feel.

You put your laptop to the side and reach for your phone, dialing Taylor’s number.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” she asks right away, knowing well how hard these past days have been. She came over the evening you sent Harry away and tried to comfort you, but nothing could help you that night.

“Hey, I want to ask you to do something and not try to talk me out of it.”

“Oh God…” she sighs, already knowing you’re about to do something stupid according to her.

“I don’t want to perform at the Grammy’s.”

“What? With all due respect, are you fucking stupid?”

“I’m not stupid. But I don’t want to do it.”

“Well, this has got to be the most ridiculous move you’ve ever tried to pull. Why do you want to throw such a huge thing away?”

“I can’t… sing that song with Harry. If I stand on the stage and sing with him… I just can’t do it, Tay.”

“Of course you can! Suck it up! I know you miss him and it fucking sucks what’s happening, but you have to do it!” she tries to convince you, but you’ve already made your mind up.

“No. I’m not doing it. Please let them know that it’s going to be just Harry performing.”

And with that, you end the call.

Taylor knows better than to try to fight you, she doesn’t call back though you know she wants to murder you right now probably, but she’ll come around, she always does. You make yourself a tea hoping to relax your nerves with it though you know nothing can help you now. You wish you had someone to rely on, someone you could talk to right now, but usually Taylor is that person to you and lately Harry has been your support, but you can’t call either of them. The rest of the people you consider friends… they are just not that close to you. You’re left alone, again.

As your gaze wanders over to your phone, a thought pops up in your mind that makes your hands sweat. You think back to the conversation you had with Harry about your parents and you can’t shake the urge off to finally make that call.

“Fuck it,” you breathe out and grab the device, opening up the contacts until you find what you’ve been looking for. Your thumb hovers above the call button for a while before you finally tap on it and start the call. It rings four times before a voice speaks up on the other end.

“Halo?”

“Hi mom,” you reply and hear a gasp from her at your voice.

There’s less than a week left until the Grammy’s. For your own sake, you haven’t been online outside of answering work emails, you just can’t deal with the shit show your life has become on the internet.

You haven’t left your home unless you really needed to go somewhere, did most of your meetings over the phone or videochat and postponed a fitting as well. You’ve officially caved yourself up in your apartment and you are not planning on leaving anytime soon.

Taylor keys herself in, she hasn’t even mentioned that she might drop by, but you’re not surprised. She is probably here to try to bring you out of this pity party you’ve been holding for days. When she sees you lying on the couch in sweats and messy, unwashed hair, she sighs, shaking her head.

“You really need to pull your shit together, Y/N.”

“I’m fine,” you mumble, pulling your fuzzy blanket up to your chin.

“No, you’re not. This is not the bad bitch I know.”

“Bad bitches have bad days too.”

“This is not a bad day, you look like a fucking zombie. This is not what a Grammy nominee should look like days before the big show.”

“Doesn’t matter, it’s not like I’m performing or anything,” you shrug, but the look in Taylor’s eyes make yours go wide. “Taylor, I’m not performing, you informed them about it, right?”

“This is why I’m here,” she sighs walking closer, sitting on the other end of the couch. “I never cancelled on your performance.”

“I told you I’m not doing it!” “I know, but I was hoping you might come around. But you seem to be still acting like a stupid bitch, so that didn’t happen. However, I’ve gotten an interesting email today.”

She pulls out her phone and opens the email before handing it over to you. Shooting her an unhappy look you start reading.

-

Hi Taylor!

I got your email address from Jeff, wanted to write to you myself. I’ve officially pulled out of the Grammy performance so it’s going to be only Y/N in it. We are also working on a statement to release over the whole ordeal and my lawyers have been after the bigger gossip sites to get the articles down. I want Y/N to have the Grammy experience she deserves and I know it can’t happen with me in the performance. Tell her that I’m sorry for ruining it for her, she deserves so much more. I’m sorry she was brought into this.

I hope to see you soon, take care!

Harry

-

With parted lips, you look up at Taylor who is smiling softly at you.

“He… pulled out for me.”

“He did. Talked to Jeff on the phone, they have already let them know Harry wouldn’t be performing, they will make it official tomorrow.”

“But he deserves this just as much as I do. He is a nominee too.”

“Well, seems like he values you more than his own success.” Taylor lets out a long sigh and scooting closer she places a hand to your knee. “Look, I know you’re upset about how the media treats you just because you were seen out with Harry, and I know that you’re afraid of getting labeled as just the girl he dates and not get taken seriously as an artist, but you can’t let them stop you from living your life how you want to. There will always be judgment, there will always be men who are worse than trash and want to bring you down, but you are stronger than that. Pushing Harry away and being alone for the rest of your life is not a solution. What you can do to put them to their place is give them a big fuck you, date the hottest man in the industry and continue being the bad bitch that you are, fighting against the way you are being treated. Speak up, show them who they are dealing with, share your truth, like you always do! But you can do all of this with Harry by your side. You deserve to be happy and he makes you happy, don’t make yourself miserable because we live in a world where men are still placed above women. Fight for the change but don’t forget to think about yourself as well in the process.”

You feel the tears sting in your eyes. The weight of this past week is just way too heavy to carry, but Taylor is right and you are realizing that you’ve made it harder for yourself. The sobs come before you could stop yourself and Taylor pulls you into a hug.

“I know, I know. It fucking sucks, but you can’t let them win,” she soothes, running her hands up and down your back. “Show them how big of a bad bitch you are and get the man too.”

“You think Harry still wants to be with me?”

“I think that man would be on his knees for you in a heartbeat if you asked,” she chuckles pulling back. “Statement about the performance will be released tomorrow. That’s how long you have to figure it out,” she tells you with a knowing look before leaving you alone with your thoughts, however you don’t have to think long what you have to do.

You have not been the only one these past days took a toll on. The fight the two of you had left Harry completely drained, angry and helpless. He hated that he was the reason you weren’t credited as the talented artist that you are and he couldn’t stop thinking about ways to make it better. That’s when he came up with the idea of pulling out of the performance.

Now he is ready to spend the remaining days until the award show hidden from the world, not even leaving the house. Everyone close to him knows he is better not to be disturbed now, so he is quite surprised when the security system lets him know that someone has arrived.

As you drive up to his house you spot him immediately, stepping out the front door with a shocked look on his face, probably expecting you to be the last person to be there at the moment. You wipe your sweaty palms against your thighs as you walk up to him, feeling anxious to see him and talk to him, especially after the last conversation you had.

“Hey, I’m sorry for coming here without calling or anything…” you shyly start, stopping in front of you.

“Don’t be silly. Come… Come on in,” he clears his throat inviting you inside.

You’ve walked through this front door so many times in the past almost two months, but this is the first time you feel so odd, standing out, like you have no place in here and it’s all thanks to yourself.

“Do you want something to drink? Are you hungry?” Harry walks past you but then turns to face you, talking to you with such warmth and kindness, even after how you acted, putting blame on him for something he has no control over. It completely breaks you and can’t stop your eyes from watering as you look at him. You really hoped you’ve run out of tears in the past days, but it seems like that’s not the case at all.

“Harry, I’m so sorry,” you breathe out shakily and you step closer to each other at the same time, he envelopes you in his strong arms and you fist his shirt at his chest. “I know it was none of your fault, I just got so desperate and afraid that it might ruin what I worked so hard for.”

“I know. And you were right about everything. Everything you said was true and I’m sorry you have to deal with it.”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t right to be mad at you just because you have different privileges, it’s not like you can change who you are. So I’m really sorry about that, and also for pushing you away when you were just trying to be there for me. I was so stupid,” you breathe out, wiping the tears sliding your cheeks down away.

“You just panicked, it’s okay. Don’t apologize for wanting to protect yourself.”

Resting your forehead against his shoulder you wait for your sobs to die down before you look back up at him. Reaching up he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, smiling down at you warmly and that smile alone ensures you that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, with the right person.

“Taylor showed me the email you sent her,” you bring it up, clearing your throat.

“You deserve it all to yourself so people can see how amazing of an artist you are.”

“I’m not doing it without you,” you shake your head stubbornly. “We wrote the song together and we’re gonna perform it together or else I’m not doing it either.”

“Y/N, you know if we step on that stage together they are gonna twist the whole thing and make it about something else. I want you to have this opportunity for your career without me ruining it with just my presence.”

“Fuck them, if they take it as something it’s not. They are not gonna take the chance away from us to perform our song. If they are such fucking dumbasses that they make it all about what’s between us, that’s their own personal problem. If I need to, I’ll go on a Twitter rant and tell them this myself. I want you on stage with me or else I’m not doing it either.”

Harry breathes out through his nose, pressing his lips together as he stares back at you, probably realizing you are dead serious about pulling out of the performance and he is right. He doesn’t even know you were the first one to cancel on it, you’d do it again without hesitation.

“I guess we are performing then,” he cracks a small smile and throwing your arms around his neck you pull him down, lips smashing against his, the kiss mingling with giggles and smiles.

Harry wraps his arms tight around your waist, pulling you up from the ground as he spins you around, making you squeal as you hold onto him.

“I have to call Jeff to call the Grammy’s not to post the statement,” he hums against your lips and he pecks them a few more times before letting go of you to quickly make a call to his manager.

You move over to the couch in his living room as he talks to Jeff, who is luckily very understanding about the sudden change. Hugging your knees to your chest you watch him pace the floor, exchanging a few more words with the man on the phone before ending the call, his gaze dropping to you again. Sitting beside you, he kisses your temple, dropping an arm around your shoulders as you lean against him, head resting on his chest.

“I called my mom,” you drop the bomb suddenly and you can feel him tense up for a moment, probably shocked by your words.

“You did?”

“Yeah.” Lifting your head your gaze meets his as you carry on. “She was… very shocked to hear my voice.”

“I bet,” he hums. “What did you talk about?”

“I just… asked how they are doing and told her that I’ve been thinking a lot about them. She sounded genuinely touched by it and said I’m always welcomed for dinner or lunch if I’d like to see them.”

“That’s amazing! See, I told you they would love to hear from you!”

“Yeah,” you smile at him softly. “I think I want to go over sometime after the Grammy’s.”

“I’m sure it’s going to go well.”

“Would you please come with me?”

Your question catches him off-guard he seems surprised that you would want him there, but then his expression softens as he leans down and kisses your forehead.

“I would love to, if you want me there.”

“I do,” you nod.

“Then it’s settled,” he smiles warmly as you lay your head back to his chest, his fingers gently dancing up and down your arm and for once in your life you finally feel settled, like everything is going to be fine.

Highlights of the 63rd Annual Grammy Awards: Y/N Y/L/N blows up stage with new hit duet

The killer duo surprised us all with a brand new duet titled Floating Through Space, performed it together on their big night. Wearing matching galaxy themed suits, Y/L/N and Styles have closed off the evening with probably the most success, the latter winning two out of his three nominations, receiving the award for Best Music Video and Best Pop Vocal Album with his latest album, Fine Line, while Y/L/N was titled best new artist, becoming a Grammy winner early in her career.

Tabloids blew up earlier this month when the two singers were photographed cozied up at dinner with friends, speculations started about their possible romance, but Y/L/N has made a clear statement on the question with her red carpet appearance before the award show. Wearing a head to toe black Gucci gown paired with a dramatic cape, the message “I’M AN ARTIST, ASK ME ABOUT MY ART” painted onto it in red, making a bold statement about her opinion on the way the media has been treating the star.

Both singers remained silent on their alleged romance, but proved to be the best of their time with their joined performance with their new emotional duet. Following the song’s debut on stage it was released to the public as a single right away, taking over all charts with its overwhelming success.

Listen to Floating Through Space now on Spotify and Apple Music!

Your knuckles are turning white from the tight grip on the steering wheel as you stare up at the home you grew up in. It looks almost the same, sometime through the years you haven’t been around your parents have painted it a light blue color from the paste yellow, but it’s still… the same.

“Hey.”

Turning to your right you look at Harry who is smiling at you warmly as his hand reaches over and squeezes your knee gently.

“It’s going to be fine. I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you, you’re still their daughter.”

“That’s not what they told me the last time I was here,” you whisper, feeling your throat closing up.

“We all say things in the heat of the moment. Seeing how happy they were about this lunch proves that they regret what happened.”

Nodding you take a deep breath to get ready for whatever is going to happen. Leaning over the console you pull Harry in for a kiss and it calms your nerves a little. Getting out of the car he takes your hand and squeezes it to let you know he’ll be right by your side all along. As you walk up to the front porch a sense of strong nostalgia washes over you.

You didn’t have a bad childhood, your parents provided you so much growing up, it’s sad to think what it has become. In a way you feel more anxious than walking the red carpet a week ago for the Grammys even though you’re just meeting your parents, but this is a turning point in your life that needed to come sooner or later.

“I’m right here, baby. It’s going to be fine,” Harry murmurs, kissing your forehead before you ring the doorbell, feeling weird that you come here as a guest, not as someone who belongs here.

You hear footsteps approaching on the other side, two frames appear through the clouded glass of the front door and then it flies open, pushing all air out of your lungs, clinging tightly onto Harry’s hand. There’s a moment of silence and just staring at each other before the tiniest smile tugs on your lips.

“Hi mom, hi dad.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Ares

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon, Ares

Lucifer

He cannot overstate what kind of damage this mortal was able to do in their first few seconds in the Devildom...

The instant they got to their feet, they had managed to incapacitate Satan and knock down Beel. Lucifer himself tried to get between them and Diavolo but…

If he hadn’t moved his head, if he was standing just ONE INCH to the left… he wouldn’t have a head anymore. Barbatos was there to intervene, but had he not they could have probably taken out the Avatar of Pride and done critical damage to the Demon Prince himself in one strike...

Frankly, Lucifer prefers not to dwell on that moment... He's sure Ares must be proud of this one...

He pretty much treats the mortal like a live bomb afterward, if he can get away with not interacting with them at all, that’s what he’ll do.

He’s NOT scared of them... much... It’s just that they have a bullish and uncooperative attitude at best and since they know they can take any of them, they don't even consider him - Lucifer, the eldest demon brother - a threat...

But you know what the most frustrating thing is? They won't give him an inch of respect, but they'll always listen to Levi! Levi!!

Look, Lucifer knows he may not hold a rank among the Hell's army and he might not have been a major player in the Celestial/Demonic wars of the day, but he's still the strongest demons here, dammit!! 😡

Lucifer finds nothing is more embarrassing than having to ask Levi of all people to keep the mortal in line because he can't... Oh, the humiliation… He hopes they leave soon...

Mammon

At first, he thought they were scary. But in time he thought they were scary… and also pretty damn awkward.

Mammon wasn’t there when they more or less wiped out the majority of his brothers in the Conference Hall but when he finally showed up he'd never seen Lucifer look so pale… If THAT doesn't make you shit your pants, he doesn't know what will.

Naturally, he kind of toned it down on the "stupid human" stuff real quick after seeing that…

But here's the thing. After the two made a pact together, Mammon started to notice that the MC wasn't all that mean, they were just… violent?

He legitimately thought that they couldn’t stand him for a while until one day a guy on the street called him a dirtbag. The MC threw a punch right there! No questions asked, they just decked that guy!!

It was kind of touching… and messy. Very messy. Did he mention that they’re terrifying yet? 😥

As it turns out, the MC has apparently spent a lot of their life just fighting things and being asked to fight things so they're not very used to showing non-violent affection… 

It took him awhile, but he realized that their way of saying, "I like you," is, "I will attack your enemies." So now all he does when his brothers tease him is say, "I'm telling MC!'' and they'll stop immediately. It's great!! 😁

Considers them to be his bodyguard when he goes out to gamble in some… shadier places. Most of the time not even the bouncers want to take on the MC, ain't nobody getting paid enough to lose that many teeth…

Leviathan

Okay, so. It's not very obvious anymore, but he USED to be on the front lines of the war against demons in the Celestial Realm. He was in charge of battle strategies, he led armies, and even now he still holds the highest rank of the royal navy!

So leave it to the kid of a war god to sniff all that out about him, huh…? They appeared to know all about his record the instant they saw him and they actually seemed to respect him for it!

For context, this mortal tells pretty much everybody to shove off but any time he’s around they call him “Admiral” or “sir” and actually pay attention to what he says! He can tell it drives Lucifer insane, but honestly? It’s a bit of an ego boost. 😌

It’s sort of cute when they come to him asking for tactical advice… They get just as into it as he does with his anime and any time he points out something that they haven't seen before they get so excited it's like they're a kid watching a magic trick. HUGE ego boost. 😏

Speaking of anime, it’s hit or miss whether or not they can watch any of it. Anything with good fight scenes (and let’s be honest, not that much talking) they’re on board for. But if the hero and the villain talk to each other for like an episode before throwing punches then the MC will just rant...

MC: “The enemy is distracted... Why aren’t they attacking yet??”

Levi: “Because the villain killed the hero’s best friend and they’re-”

MC: “They could avenge their friend right now if they ended things right here!”

Levi: “MC, we’ve been over this... That’s not how plot works.”

MC: “And now he got away!! See?? They should have killed him when they had the chance!”

Levi: “*sigh*... Let’s just play some CoD.”

Satan 

The last thing he remembered when the “human” hopped out of the portal was a sharp pain to the side of the temple and Asmo wailing as he fell unconscious…

Yeeeeah, not great. And unfortunately for the mortal the Avatar of Wrath tends to hold a grudge… 

For a comparatively brief moment in time, all of Satan’s considerable ire had shifted away from Lucifer and to their new housemate. They found their bed, clothes, pillows, food, and even their toothbrush cursed!

… But Ares kids must be built from some strong stuff, because half of what he employed didn’t even faze them! He even put an explosive spell on their backpack and not only did they tank the blast, it didn’t hurt them at all!! It was like they’re damn near immortal!

Annnnd they kind of are. Apparently the MC had taken a dip in the River Styx at some point before and became nigh invulnerable…

Was it maybe a little terrifying to know that they had kidnapped a nearly invincible demigod on the level of Achilles? Yes. Did that also mean that they must have had a weakness too? In theory....

Satan honestly devoted a depressing amount of time trying to uncover the “Achilles’ Heel” of his new sworn enemy… until…

The MC was walking with him and Asmo to RAD one morning when they passed by a group of lesser demons harassing a small puppy. Now Satan may be more of a cat man, but NO ONE fucks with animals while he’s around.

He was right about to go over and rip those demons a new one but the MC actually beat him to it! Apparently, the second that they realized what was happening, they launched themselves forward and started bashing the abusers' heads into a wall!

… Live by violence, forgive by violence because in that very moment Satan decided they weren’t so bad after all. He even joined in!

Oh, Asmo gave them both shit all day for the bloodstains on their uniforms and the scratches on their… everywhere, but it’s not like either of them cared. Righteous justice had been served and it was glorious!!

100% would team up with the MC in some kind of vigilante “punish-all-animal-abusers” gig. They have but to ask. 😌

Asmodeus

Oh they TERRIFIED Asmo when they first showed up! How else was he supposed to react?? They brought down his brothers like they were made of cardboard!!

Though he had to admit that the confident, battle-ready look they had about them was sexy as hell, he knew better than to go bear poking! 😣 He avoided them like plague until they finally asked him for a pact.

And then he discovered something… something very unexpected….

They're actually adorable!!!

Okay, like, not in appearance (they look like they could pile drive Cerberus for Pete’s sake!) but he discovered that they have NO CLUE how to handle physical affection. Like zero!!

The first time Asmo actually got the courage to try and hug them he expected them to toss him off, but instead they just stood there like a malfunctioning doll, all flustered and confused… It was so cute!!! 🥰

From that point on, Asmo would take every chance he could to wrap his arms around them or kiss their cheeks just to watch them try and fail to handle it. It's more fun than picking on Levi!!

It took two months for them to finally attempt any kind of reciprocation and even that was adorable! They pecked him on the forehead without thinking about it then nearly passed out from the realization. Apparently, they had never felt like kissing anyone before so he was quite honored!

The brothers know that if the MC's looking too mad to listen to Levi, they just need to call Asmo. A nigh invincible warrior becomes a LOT less scary after you’ve cuddled them into submission! 🤭

Beelzebub

Beel didn't like them one bit, at least not at the beginning. They had managed to get past him and actually attack Lucifer which was NOT a great first impression on their part...

He honestly saw them as a threat for a while, but unlike the rest of his brothers he didn’t avoid them. He just kept an eye on them.... constantly….

Look. Beel is a big guy. Stealth is not his strong suit… If he's tailing you, you're probably going to know about it because there's a six-foot something behemoth in orange following you around while pounding down bags of chips. He's not very subtle…

That being said, after following them around for a while the two finally got to talking and he realized that they didn’t want to hurt anybody or anything. They were just acting on instinct before.

After making the MC promise not to hurt any of his family, they got on much better terms. Hell, he actually got them into fangol!

Beel's sport of choice is pretty much just ultra-violent American football so the MC took a liking to it instantly! After enough begging, the coach let them try out and they got onto his team immediately.

He likes having them as a teammate! They're very good at the game, uh... even if they take it a little too seriously…

They once tried to convince his teammates to decorate the team bus with "the helmets of their fallen foes." They're REALLY into the sport… But hey, they haven't lost a game since they’ve joined. It’ll be fine!... Probably.

Belphegor

Hahaha… He’s in danger… 😥

It took one look at this mortal to make him rethink the whole, “Trick the Human” plan… Since when have humans looked like that?? They could crush his skull under their heel!!

It took all he had in him to play it cool when they first met because his internal monologue was nothing but screaming… THIS was the "human" he had to use to get him out of there?? How in the WORLD was he going to kill them?!

Admittedly, he had to think about it for a while. Belphie's a clever guy… and a demon. So who needs an honorable fight, anyway? If he can’t win one-on-one, then he’ll cheat!

He waited until the MC got the door open and didn't attempt a frontal assault… No laughter, no gloating. He just waited for them to turn their back, claws ready to dig out their heart, and then-!

MC: "Do you really want to try that?"

The MC must have had some kind of danger sense, because they didn't even have to turn around to know what Belphie was doing…

MC: "Look. I like Beel and you're his twin brother… So I'm willing to let this slide. But if you really want to try me…"

MC: *looks over their shoulder with the glare of a bona fide killer* "I won't hold back."

That was... very persuasive.

The MC brought Belphie down to the others peacefully with his tail between his legs and honestly Lucifer was more relieved that he wasn’t a bloodstain on the floor than he was mad… They could have killed him sooo easily… 

They did, indeed, forgive and forget about the whole “attempted murder” thing, though Belphie was never quite able to shake off how frightening they were in that moment… He had nightmares for a while.

Thankfully, Asmo clued him in that the MC would melt into a harmless puddle of fluff if they got even the slightest bit of physical affection... Oh, the sweet payback he could dish out... It’s cuddle time. 😏

[tojiot]

ooh have about the main three with the fake dating trope :D

fake dating the main three

gn!reader, cursing here and there, typos and grammatical errors to be edited, past tense - present tense swerving to be fixed.

note: i was on vacation for 2 days without internet and i have bakugo's done in my notes but my phone died before i can even save it :D this will be kinda long because i went ahead of myself and detailed it exactly how i want. this is not betaed. please do tell me if there's a non they/them pronouns in here. hope you'll enjoy this!

requests are: open!

ㅡ bakugo

i spent the whole day thinking about how he'll agree to fake date. let's just say he's the one in need.

his mom has been bothering him for a long time now. she wants to see katsuki bring home a partner for them to meet.

it's a pain in the ears and he's very TIRED so he decided to just fake date somebody.

the only person he can tolerate in class a aside from kirishima is you. he doesn't care about the other extras.

he'll search for you in the heights' lounge area and ask to talk.

"hey, can we talk?" he grumbles, "uhh, sure? do you want to talk here or somewhere private?" "somewhere private."

when you guys are in a more private area, he'd glare at you for a minute, it'll make you wonder if you did something wrong, before finally speaking.

"date me for a fucking day."

you'll snort at what he said and laugh thinking it was a joke but the annoyed and impatient look on his face says otherwise.

"wait.. are you for real?" "what do you think, shithead?"

bakugo trusts you so much that you have this significant role to play in his life.

you agreed, of course. it's the bakugo katsuki asking for your help. a once in a lifetime chance. (you just like him, stop making things up)

he brings you to the bakugo household the day after and his house is BIG big.

mitsuki, his mom, welcomes you with a big smile and a hug. he then glares at his son, "WHY ARE YOU ONLY BRINGING THIS PRETTY LITTLE CREATURE NOW, YOU BRAT?" "SHUT UP, OLD HAG! BE NICE OR I AIN'T BRINGING THEM HERE NO MORE."

masaru, who's just sitting there at the couch like nothing's happening, gives you a wave.

the dinner was good. his mom's a great cook, his father's a chatterbox. what surprised you the most was how quiet katsuki is. you're not sure why. maybe he's like this at home? quiet, calm, just serene.

"it's not everyday i see a person who can tame my brat of a son. i can see why he likes you, (y/n)." his mom beams at you, "you're pretty, a kind little one too. take care of my son, will ya?"

not knowing what to say, you smiled at her and said what's currently inside your mind, "if he'll let me, i'll take care of him for the rest of my life." you looked down, "but knowing katsuki, he doesn't need anyone to take care of him. he's strong and independent and he knows it. it'll hurt his pride if someone helps him without him asking them to." you smiled to yourself, "i just hope he knows that when he needs me, i'll always be here for him."

mitsuki smiled at you in awe. you have the mother's approval, congrats!

katsuki just stared at you with furrowed eyebrows, masaru pats his back, "good job, son. i'm happy for you."

he then murmured a protest before drinking his water.

time passed by and it's eventually your time to say goodbye to the bakugos.

mitsuki hugs you for the last time and ask you to come have dinner with them again, masaru pats your head and thanks you for being there for his son.

both of you were in a car provided by the school for safety protocols when he spoke, "did you mean it?"

you looked at him, confused, "mean what?" "what you said earlier to my mom, shithead. did you mean it?" "well, yeah. i mean it when i say i'll always be here for you."

he wore this unreadable and unclear expression on his face. he looks mad? confused? no one knows.

"why?" he asked, "why what?" "WHY DO YOU KEEP MAKING ME REPEAT MYSELF. WHY DID YOU SAY IT?" "YOU'RE A FRIEND OF MINE, THAT'S IT."

he chuckled bitterly, "a friend. that's fucking funny. i literally though you also like me for a second."

huh.. what does he mean? also? you laughed nervously, "hey, did i hear you right? thought i heard 'also' there."

"you're fucking dense, aren't you? do you want me to scream it straight at your face? i fucking like you."

you froze. yes, but embarrassment caught up and you covered your reddened face, "WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY CONFESSING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SAY?"

"I AIN'T EXPECTING YOU TO SAY ANYTHING, SHITHEAD!" "I LIKE YOU TOO!" "SHUT THE FUCK UP I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY OF A CONFESSION." "IT'S NOT A PITY OF A CONFESSION BUT FINE! I DON'T LIKE YOU." "OKAY THEN. I'M BRINGING SOMEONE ELSE NEXT DINNER AND TELL THE OLD HAG WE BROKE UP." "NOOOOOOO!!"

ㅡ todoroki

i was contemplating whether to have him help fake date or have him need help. it's fitting if he's the one in need so i decided just that.

he might seem dense and clueless most of the time but he's the epitome of evilness.

he talks about you all the time that's why fuyumi has taken a liking to you and asked shoto to invite you to dinner with them.

shoto sees this as a chance. he'll take advantage of the situation because he knows you won't say no.

he goes to where you are sitting, "i apologize but my sister, fuyumi, she thinks we're dating. she wants to invite you to dinner at our house later." he said that with a straight face but this mf is smirking on the inside.

"uhhh, okay? sure? but uhm, why would she think we're dating?" "she thinks everyone close to me is dating me. she's like that.. yes. fuyumi likes you the most, i think. that's.. uh, that's why she's inviting you to dinner." (I HC HIM AS A BAD LIAR)

sounds suspicious and weird, but okay? you have a lot of question in mind.

"i would go. but how should i act? why didn't you tell her we aren't dating though?" "i don't want to disappoint my sister. you can act like you're dating me, if it's fine with you. just for a day."

"sure, sure! just tell me where and what time. i'll be there." "no, you can come with me. we'll go there together."

he brings you to the todoroki household after class. their house is soooo pretty. it's a traditional japanese house.

fuyumi was the first one to greet you, with her sparkling eyes and bright smile, she held both your hands gently and said, "i'm so glad you came! i've been wanting to ask shoto to have you come eat with us. thank you for coming!"

natsuo jogged from the back and gave you a cool wave, "hey, (y/n). how was it dealing with shoto?"

you faked sighed, "awful. how did you deal with him for the last 16 years?" "we never did." "oh.... OH NO I'M SORRY!" "HAHAHA. it's fine, i'm just kidding. no biggie."

enji won't be home for the day. he's busy doing number 1 hero works.

the dinner was fun. it was the funniest dinner you have ever had.

shoto's quietness is the exact opposite of natsuo's talkativeness. that man is talkative and funny as fuck. throwing jokes everywhere. it was entertaining.

all shoto did was take care of you. he serves you all the food you point at, gets you water, he even went too close for comfort and wiped a stain just above your lips. it made you blush, yes. you don't know why but it left you lightheaded. (you're in love with him, that's why)

fuyumi.. our beautiful and beloved fuyumi.

she exposed his brother's ass.

"aww. you guys are so cute together. ah! (y/n), do you remember that time when.. uhm, kaminari was it? i forgot his name but do you remember that time where he told you, midoriya, and the girls to wear a maid costume for the festival because your class is having a maid cafe booth? shoto told me you were so pretty that time! he hated how the boys in your class looked at you like you were some sweet treat, isn't that right, shoto?"

"and do you remember when you fought bakugo at the sports festival? where it was a close fight and you gave him a hard time? shoto said you won if the decision was up to him and that you were so cool!"

and she went on and on.

shoto was red as a tomato (or even redder) beside you. he was clutching his pants as if he was asking the floor to just eat him up.

you decided to ask him about this later to not uncover the fake dating plan.

dinner ended after a little talking, fuyumi gave you leftovers to take home which you will not reject because her cooking is divine, and asked you to come again after giving you a big and warm hug.

natsuo gave you a high five and thanked you for coming. he also thanked you for laughing at his jokes. he feels like he's very funny now.

both said goodbye to shoto.

the journey back to the heights was quiet but not awkward. it seems like shoto knew you have a lot in mind.

you spoke when he's about to open the main door. "what was that?" he looked at you with a confused expression, "the one at dinner."

"ah, if it isn't obvious yet after my sister opened her mouth, i like you. i have been for a long time now." he said that with a deadpan expression, "it annoyed me at first, it annoyed me that you're in my mind whenever i try to sleep, you're in my mind everytime i wake up. it annoyed me that i want nothing more than to hold you near me, hold your hands, warm you up with my fire everytime you feel cold, hug you, kiss you." he sighed frustratedly, "i just want to do everything with you... i'm sorry. i'm not good with words."

WELL YOU DID NOT EXPECT HIM TO BE THIS STRAIGHTFORWARD.

but again, this is todoroki shoto.

"..what? shoto... i didn't know you felt that way. why didn't you tell me?" you asked him concernedly, you lifted your hand to hold his face but stopped halfway thinking maybe he doesn't want to be touched.

but then he held your hand and guided it to hold his face, "i didn't actually plan to confess but when people started talking about how good of a hero you'd become in the future and when everyone started saying they all want to date you, that's when i decided it's now or never." he looked at your eyes, "i don't want to lose this chance. that's why i started telling fuyumi stories about you and asking her what to do."

"is that why your sister thought we were dating?" "yes. she knows about how i feel for you. she told me to confess and i told her i did and that it went well. i lied to her. i don't know why."

you coughed, "so, she doesn't really think everyone close to you is dating you?" "yes." "you lied to me?" "yes, i apologize."

"you could have told me you like me too!?" "it's not that easy to confess. plus, i really wanted to know how everything will go. it went well, i'm satisfied. you like me too, right?" "i do, shoto. i like you so much." he smiled at you, that rare fucking smile he knows is pretty, "that's enough for me."

"BUT YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF EVERYTHING?" "yes. yes, i did." "WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU!!?" "date me, (y/n)" "OKAY!"

ㅡ midoriya

a lot of guys from the other class have been bothering you. they kept on asking for your number and stuff. one even sent you flowers and a box of chocolates.

you appreciate it if you're being honest. what you don't appreciate is them sticking to you the whole lunch.

you told mina what's happening and she told you that the best shot of getting off those admirers of yours is to date somebody.

you don't wanna to that though. aside from focusing on studies, you have feelings for this certain someone with green messy hair and freckles. you don't want to date someone just to use them and lie to them.

"you know, what if you just get your shit together and confess to midoriya?" "MINA, BE QUIET! SOMEONE MIGHT HEAR YOU!" "confess to midoriya!" she whispired.

"or just ask him to date you until your followers stop following you around?" kaminari interjects, "what, you mean like, fake date him?" "yeah. something like that." "you're really useful sometimes, aren't you?" "shut up, mina."

you've thought about it all night. would izuku think i'm using him? would he reject the idea? would he be mad about it?

after contemplating, you finally went out of your room and walked straight at his door. he opened it with a smile after 3 knocks.

"hey, (y/n)! how can i help you?"

you looked at him nervously. what you were about to ask is a big part to act. "i will get straight to the point. some people from the other classes have been bothering me for a while now. they keep on following me and asking for my number even though i rejected them all the time. i want to ask you if you could date me? IT'S FAKE! OF COURSE. will you please fake date me until they get off me? i, uh, i'm not taking advantage of your kindness. i promise. right?" you said with a shaking voice.

he laughed at your rambling, "no need to be nervous, (y/n)! i would love to do the honors and fake date you! it's like an undercover hero mission. it's so cool! when do we start?"

you smiled at his enthusiasms. izuku is really the kindest person here on earth. you told him what to do, who those people are, etc. your fake dating starts tomorrow.

izuku was waiting outside your door when you opened it, he has his usual beaming smile when you saw him, "hi, (y/n)! ready to start our mission?" he's surely so into this whole thing.

you both walked down the lounge area holding each other's hand. everyone was gaping at the sight except todoroki who remained munching on his sandwich and bakugo who, well, "fucking finally you idiots." he said.

izuku let go of your hand and held both his hands up while shaking his head in a panicky manner, "no, no! we're just fake dating. i'm helping (y/n) get rid of their admirers! they said it was bothering them!"

"okay. but (y/n), why deku?" the motherfucker was smirking at you. todoroki, bless him, caught the panic in your eyes and called bakugo off. "that's enough, bakugo. leave them alone." "tsk! fucking icyhot a fucking killjoy."

most of your admirers stopped following you after they saw you holding hands with izuku. he's been doing a lot for you. he tried to tie your hair at training and brought you water. nothing much happened inside the classroom because everyone knows it's just a show. lots of outsiders believe you're dating izuku. some still bothers you from time to time especially at lunch.

you were sitting with bakugo, todoroki, kirishima, and of course, izuku, when a group of 3 went to your table (they're brave. no one would come bother bakugo's table because everyone's terrified of him.)

"hey, (y/n). can you give me your number now? i just wanted to get to know you better." "(y/n) give me your number! i'll send you lots of chocolates. i promise!" "they're liars but i'm not. i'd take you to your favorite movie this sunday of you'll give me your number?"

you pursed your lips in an annoyed manner, your friends are here and they're embarrassing you. you were about to speak when izuku beats you to it, "please stop bothering (y/n). it's obvious that my partner doesn't want to give you their number."

the group stared at each other with bewildered expressions on their faces, one looked at izuki and asked, "partner? you mean, combat partner or boyfriend? (y/n)'s dating someone?"

izuku wore a prideful expression on his face, "yes, i am their boyfriend and they're dating someone. that's why with all due respect, please leave them alone."

the 3 backed out and apologized. not everyone has the same personality as mineta. the person who seemed like their leader walked forward and bowed, "we're so sorry. we should've stopped when they rejected us the first time. they're just so intriguing that's why we wanted to know more about them. we're really sorry." with that, they left.

you faced izuku and thanked him. it was nice to finally walk and look around without seeing unfamiliar faces follow you. "thank you so much, izuku! you saved me. really."

he smilled at you, "it's nothing! i'd do anything for (y/n)." izuku froze at what he said and started chuckling anxiously, "i.. i didn't mean it like that! hahaha! but if you need anything, i, uhm, i'd always be glad to help." you stared at him and said, "me too, izuku. i'd always be glad to help you! you can come to me everytime you need something." he blushed at what you said.

"FUCKING IDIOTS JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY! I'M TIRED OF HEARING BOTH YOUR SHIT! CONFESS TO EACH OTHER GODDAMNIT!" "oi bakugo. that's not how to do it." "SHUT UP SHITTY HAIR!" "bakugo, you're too noisy." "YOU HALF AND HALF BASTARD I'M TIRED OF YOU TOO!"

izuku coughed tensely, "(y/n), can i talk to you outside? i just need to tell you something." you nodded, "of course!" you both stood up and left the table of wild animals.

when the two of you got outside, izuku's hands were obviously shaking so without a thought, you held it. "are you okay?" "I AM... i am." "why are you acting like this? did something happen?" you asked worriedly.

"no, everything's fine. i just.. i don't know how it started but i just woke up one day thinking how i'd love you to be mine. i want to walk you to school, i want to tell everyone i'm your boyfriend, i want to kiss you good night. haha, is it to much to ask, (y/n)? i like you a lot." he told you that nervously, the boy was shaking and sweating.

"i can't believe it... izuku, i like you too. oh god, are you serious?" "i am, haha! i didn't know you feel the same. i'm really happy!" "i didn't know you feel the same too! half of our classmates knew that i like you. katsuki's just too noisy. he literally told everyone when you did extra training." "(y/n).. kacchan also knows about my feelings for you! he told todoroki and kirishima. is that why he's so persistent in getting us together?" "i don't know. that's just how he is."

you both were awkward as fuck but izuku asked if you'd like to date for real and you said yes.

when you came back to the table, it was bakugo who spoke first, "are you idiots finally together?" you replied to him with a middle finger which aggravated the blondie, "YOU FUCKER!"

[whisker-biscuit]

The Birds, The Bees, and The Bottles

Fandom: Psychonauts

Rating: T for mild language and discussions of underage drinking

Summary: Two teens are caught trying to sneak into a bar. Bob finally has a conversation he’s held off for far too long.

Because herbaphony is not the only thing that runs in the Zanotto family.

-------------------------------------

Bob’s phone rang at two in the morning. Judging by the jolly ringtone of Helmut singing Strawberry Fields Forever, it was his personal phone instead of his work one, and that was the real tip off to things being very, very wrong.

He woke up and groggily pulled out of his still-slumbering-husband’s arms to answer the little thing going off on his nightstand.

“H’lo?”

“Bob!” Truman’s voice came out far too loud for the time of night, and far too stressed. “Bob, I’m so sorry to wake you, but something happened with Lili. I need you to pick her up for me, please.”

The older man sat up, much more awake as worry and fear immediately rolled in his gut. Helmut finally began to stir beside him, sensing his partner’s agitation.

“Truman, what’s going on? Pick Lili up from where?”

“The city’s police precinct on Abbey Avenue. She – she called me, but I’m out of state and I wouldn’t get there for hours at least even if I left this instant. She’s not in danger!” He added hastily, hearing the concern before Bob could even voice it mentally. “She didn’t get hurt! She’s just…”

The way he tapered off, the way he hesitated, said more than words could.

“She just got herself into some trouble, and she needs someone to go get her.”

Helmut was sitting up now, and Bob felt the question cross their mental link.

 What happened?

 Truman needs me to pick Lili up from the police station.

“I’m up, I’m on my way right now,” He responded to his nephew verbally, heaving himself out of bed. His husband followed suit despite still looking extremely puzzled, bless him.

“Thank you so much, Bob. I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can, I promise.”

“Don’t worry about it.” The older man waved a dismissive hand even though Truman wasn’t there to see it. “Family is s’pposed to do that for each other anyway.”

“Did I hear that right? Our peppy petunia had a run-in with the law?” Helmut asked as soon as his partner hung up. He paused, and in a lower tone – “she didn’t kill anyone, did she?”

“I don’t think it’s that serious,” Bob said, pulling a coat on over his sleep shirt. “But something tells me we still have a few things to worry about. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Ohohoh, no, don’t even think about hoofin’ it without me. We both know I’m the better driver.”

“Neither of us are very good drivers, Helmut.”

“Exactly! That little bit makes all the difference!”

The herbophanist sighed, charmed despite himself and the situation. “Alright, alright. Let’s not keep her waiting.”

The police precinct was nearly dead at this time of night. While it would’ve felt eerie to anyone else, Bob was grateful for the lack of people, and not just because he was still an introvert of the highest degree.

Two teenagers awaited them in the lobby, sitting on a bench together. One was hunched over and burning a hole in the ground with his downcast eyes. The other sat straight up, defiant, holding a glaring contest with the officer standing over them. When Bob entered the room first and met his great-niece’s eyes, her self-assuredness wavered for a brief moment. She hid the slip-up behind a wall of indifference.

“Lili,” he said softly. Then, just as softly but with a gruff tinge of surprise; “Razputin.”

There was no accusation in his voice, but the former scowled harder and the latter looked like he wanted to employ his invisibility. Bob studied them both a moment before his husband appeared and broke the tension with his mere presence.

“We’re here to bust you out, kiddos!” He announced with spread arms, cheerfully ignoring the looks he received from every person in the room.

“Are you Truman Zanotto?” Asked the officer who finally broke his gaze away from Lili to give them a disapproving once-over.

“No, I’m uh, I’m Bob Zanotto, and this is Helmut,” came the awkward reply. “Truman called me to pick Lili up. She’s my great-niece.”

A few seconds of silence passed as the officer made no move to do anything with that information. Bob cleared his throat.

“We’re, uh, listed in her emergency contacts for school?”

“I see. If you can just fill out some paperwork first, we can release her into your custody.”

The herbophanist watched the way Raz seemed to sink further in his seat at the mention of family contacts. The Aquatos were also out of state right now too, if he remembered correctly. Perfect timing for two minors getting up to mischief.

Well, up until they were actually caught.

“And…Razputin, too?” He asked, catching the teen’s startled gaze and giving him the mental equivalent of a thumbs-up.

The officer raised a brow. “Is he related to you, too?”

“Well, uh –”

“Yep!” Helmut interrupted, strolling right up to Raz and giving him a merry clap on the back. The teen had a physique comparable to most adult Olympic athletes, but even he nearly toppled forward from the force of such a big man. “He’s my third cousin, twice removed. Big family. Very close. Holidays are an experience, lemme tell ya!”

“Fine,” the officer pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine, okay, I’ll make sure he gets cleared for release too. I’ll be right back.”

He stalked off, muttering something about it ‘being too damn early for this’, and the older couple turned to face Raz and Lili. Helmut steepled his fingers together to rest against his mustache.

“So! Now that Officer Spoil-Sport is gone, are we allowed to know what heinous crime has been committed in the night by my favorite pair of mischief-makers?”

The two glanced at each other. Raz was the one to break their silence.

“We, uh…got caught sneaking into a bar.”

Cold heat rushed through Bob’s core. Helmut blinked once, twice, then let out a boisterous chuckle.

“That’s it? Jesus! From the way you two were acting I thought you’d robbed the First National Bank.”

“…Helmut.” His husband murmured. The psi-king lost his mirth as he caught Bob’s eye.

“Ah…w-well, y’know, while I’m certainly glad we won’t hear about a righteous homicide in the news tomorrow, forgery ain’t exactly a humble hobby either.”

“It was just two IDs,” Lili muttered under her breath. “Not a big deal.”

The ice in her great-uncle’s heart turned frigid, but before he or Helmut could say anything to that, the officer was back. He shoved a handful of forms under Bob’s nose and the herbophanist fumbled to grab them before they all tumbled to the floor.

“Uh, uh, thank you.”

“Alright, we’re putting the pause on this conversation to make you free citizens again, but don’t think that means we’re done with it.” The Psi-King gave the teens the sternest look he could manage. “As soon as we get in the car, you two will have a lot of explaining to do.”

“O-Okay.”

“Uh-huh.”

------------------------------------

No one spoke a word as they got in the car and started the drive back.

Raz seemed content to continue his efforts to blend in with the background of his seat, still not meeting anyone’s eyes, and Lili stared out the window with her chin in her hand, leaning against the car’s backdoor and letting the lights of the city bathe her in neon sickness.

Helmut, bless his soul, dutifully kept the radio going while he drove, changing the station to something more mellow whenever a song started getting a little too upbeat for the collective mood of the vehicle. Bob sat in the passenger side with his arms folded awkwardly. His brain was buzzing, dreading the inevitable conversation he needed to have with his great-niece and trying to figure out how he was going to go about it.

It surprised them all when Raz spoke over the music.

“It was my idea.”

The two adults glanced at each other, then through the rearview mirror at the fidgeting teen.

“Your idea to go looking for a drink? Or to sneak into a bar to do it?” Helmut asked, turning off the radio.

“Both.”

He still wasn’t meeting their eyes. Bob sighed through his nose.

“I don’t believe you.”

Razputin’s head finally snapped up to stare at him in shock for the fast call on his bluff. “I’m telling the truth!”

“I think you’re only telling part of it, kid.”

“No! I’m telling all of it.”

“Razpu-”

“Oh, come off it, Raz,” Lili snapped a little too loud, making the whole car jump. “Quit trying to take the fall for me. It was my idea to try the stupid fake ID thing, okay? Happy now?”

“Wh – uh, who said anything about being happy about it?” Helmut asked, legitimately confused.

“Look. Neither of us had anything to do tonight, and we were bored, so Raz suggested getting a drink somewhere, but Adam and Lizzie are out of town so we couldn’t ask them.” She crossed her arms and spoke without any inflection. “So, we went out but no one would let us do anything cause we’re minors. I thought that was stupid, because we’re agents same as any of you, so I came up with the sneaking-in part. We only got caught cause one of the bartenders recognized Raz from a show.”

There were a lot of loaded things to parse through from that explanation, but Bob’s mind stalled on one particular detail.

“Adam and Lizzie give you two alcohol?”

“Not…often,” Raz admitted. “Just once or twice, when we asked.”

“Do you mean like, a literal once or twice, or a…an estimated once or twice?”

“Did Dad put you up to this?” Lili shot back. “It was just a few times, like he said. What’s with the inquisition?”

“…Lili –”

 “Raz.”

“Okay!” Helmut proclaimed as he slapped his hand against the steering wheel in boisterous aggression. “Who wants some ice cream?”

Everyone stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Cause I’m really feeling some chocolate-vanilla swirl right now. Basic bitch style. Right? Who’s with me?”

Silence.

“Great! Look at that, open Dairy King right there, better take advantage of this opportunity before it slips through our fingers like the melting ice cream we’re all gonna have in about five minutes!”

The psi-king swung into the parking lot in a frenzy and herded the car crew inside before any of them could come out of their shock long enough to protest. It was only as Bob was staring up at fifteen flavors of oversaturated sugary goodness that he realized what had just happened.

He couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief over his husband’s diversion. The tension that had been boiling over was cooled significantly by the sudden non-sequitur, and while the teens were rather half-hearted about picking out their sweet treats, there was no longer a risk of an explosion happening.

Metaphorically and literally.

Helmut caught his spouse’s eye with a meaningful look at Lili the moment all of them had their orders in hand, then slung his arm around Razputin’s shoulders and steered him away. “C’mon my lad! Nothing like the cool night air of three in the morning to keep your Hurricane ™ properly chilled!”

The poor boy had no choice but to let himself be pulled outside, leaving the two Zanottos standing awkwardly in the dingy restaurant. Bob gave a nervous scratch at his chin under his beard.

“How about we, uh, find a seat somewhere?”

Lili couldn’t fully cross her arms while holding ice cream, but she did a good job of making it work anyway. “Sure.”

They sat in a booth in the farthest corner from the front counter. Both great-niece and great-uncle stared at their respective sweet treats as if they could teleport them out of this situation. Bob glanced out the window and saw Helmut and Raz standing outside of the car. The former was on one knee with his hand on the teen’s shoulder, speaking earnestly but inaudibly, and the latter was scuffing the toe of his sneaker against the asphalt.

“Are you going to lecture me?” Lili finally cut through the silence.

Bob turned back to her. “No. Not really.”

“No?” She broke her gaze away from her ice cream just a little bit, eyeing him with surprise. “Then why did Helmut take Raz and leave us alone?”

She was so perceptive, so smart. And yet, still so young.

“Well, I… I still want to talk to you about what happened. I’m just not very, good, at this kind of thing.” He took his spoon and absentmindedly began drawing a flower in his soft-serve. “You already know what you did wasn’t a good idea, right? So I don’t think a lecture would help things any on that front.”

She didn’t respond. He continued.

“It’s less about the fake ID and more…the reasons you made the fake ID. Does that make sense?”

“I guess so, but I know what I’m doing, Uncle Bob. I’m not going to drink irresponsibly.”

The herbophanist shook his head. “But you’ll do irresponsible things to be able to drink in the first place.”

“That’s not –” Lili didn’t have a good rebuttal. She folded her arms and grumpily started eating her cherry chocolate delight. “Whatever. It’s two different things, anyway.”

Against his better judgement, Bob began picking at his own food as he thought about how best to bring the subject back up without making the teen defensive again. Spoons clicking against teeth was the only sound between them for a solid minute.

Finally, an epiphany.

“Did Truman ever…tell you anything, about your great-grandma?”

The girl paused with a bite halfway up to her mouth. She frowned, confused. “Grandma Tia? Not much. Just that she died when he was a baby.”

“Yeah. Yeah, she did.” He ran a tired hand over his face. The ache in his heart might have long-since healed into a scar, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt when pressed. “She passed away when I was nineteen. The doctors told me it was liver failure.”

He didn’t have to say anything else. Lili’s mouth thinned and she put her spoon down, uncomfortable.

“When I…found out the reason behind her death, I was horrified by it. It didn’t make sense to me why she would willingly do something that hurt her so badly, especially when I was right there to love her and help her. It felt like a betrayal that she never got help or made herself stop. I was…disgusted by the mere thought of doing anything like that.”

Bob took a moment to breathe and wipe his eyes. He wasn’t crying, but better safe than sorry.

“It sounds pretty hypocritical when I say it now, doesn’t it?”

His great-niece only gave him a hesitant look.

“Anyway, uh, where was I…” He worried his lip. “Oh, right. I told myself that I’d never touch the stuff after that. I was angry at what she’d done, and I was determined not to have the same ‘weakness’, so to speak. As you know, it, uh, it didn’t last long. I was at a college party barely a year later when I was invited by some friends to drink with them. I didn’t make human friends very easily back then – actually, I still don’t – so I was a little desperate to keep them. It turned out to be pretty hard whiskey, so I got hammered.”

The man leaned back in his seat, staring at the patterns in the booth table.

“Back then, no one really knew how alcoholism could run in a family. Everyone thought it was a personal choice to keep drinking. It wasn’t even classified as an addiction yet. So I didn’t know how susceptible I was, or how careful I had to be. I’d spend months not having a single drink, thinking I was fine and could handle myself, and then I’d get plastered for a week at parties and bars and God knows what else, and it would take me even longer to get myself to stop again. It was like that even when I was with Ford and his gang. It wasn’t until I started dating Helmut that I started trying to change those habits. I’d never met anyone who loved me so unconditionally that I wanted to be a better person for them, until him. And it worked for a while.

“Well, barring our wedding, of course. I got shitfaced at the reception. It was embarrassing afterwards, but Helmut told me it made our cake-eating ceremony a hell of a great time.”

Lili snorted, and it was accompanied by a tiny upturn of her lips. Then it dropped as her expression became solemn. “And then…everything with Maligula happened, right?”

“Yeah. I think you know the rest of that story.”

“Uh-huh.”

Great-niece and great-uncle sat together for a while, just thinking about it all.

“I know I have to be more careful drinking than a lot of people, Uncle Bob,” Lili finally said at length. “My dad warned me about it when I was old enough to ask.”

“Truman is a good dad,” he murmured in response.

“The best dad.”

“Definitely the best dad.”

More silence.

“I didn’t mean to worry you and him,” she continued. “Or scare you. I know it was dumb to do what we did tonight.”

Bob looked at her, and she gave a conceding sigh.

“Okay, it was dumb to do a lot of what we’ve been doing with this stuff. That doesn’t mean I’m not being careful.”

“Kid, it’s not always just a matter of being careful. I thought I was being careful. I thought that for years and years, and when I finally realized I wasn’t, I convinced myself I could stop any time I wanted to, and kept up the same patterns anyway. That’s what I’m trying to get you to understand. I just don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did. I’m just worried about you.”

Lili closed her eyes with a grimace. “I know. I’m sorry, Uncle Bob.”

“Hey, kiddo, look at me.” He waited until she did so. “I’m not mad at you. I’m not disappointed, either. That’s your dad’s job. I get it, is what I’m saying. It gives you a buzz, and it’s fun and exciting, and you just wanted to have a good time with your, uh…”

Bob leaned in a bit, and dropped his voice to a stage whisper.

“Is Raz still your boyfriend?”

“Wha –” her cheeks went red. “Yes, he is!”

“Alright, sorry, I’m just always out of the loop. No one ever tells me when these things change or not. Anyway,” he continued before she could get brighter than the cherries in her ice cream. “I’m just saying that you gotta be more than careful with this kind of thing. Everyone should be, really, but especially people like us. Plants aren’t the only thing that runs in the Zanotto family, unfortunately, so we just have to be aware of it and act accordingly.”

The teen turned this over in her mind. He could practically see the gears moving. When she looked at him again, it was with a slow, contemplative nod.

“No more late-night bar-hopping?” Her great-uncle asked.

“No more late-night bar-hopping.” She answered, sincere.

“Good.” He looked outside. Helmut and Raz were both lying on the front of the car, pointing out stars to each other. The sight made him smile. “Come on, we’ll work on that whole thing about Adam and Lizzie giving you alcohol another time, when it’s not three in the morning. For now, let’s rejoin our boys again and go get some rest, okay?”

“Okay.” Lili slid out of the booth and tentatively took her family member’s hand. His fingers squeezed hers in reassurance. “And...thanks, Uncle Bob.”

“Well, what can I say. Us weird Zanotto plant people hafta look out for each other, right?”

“Right.”

They walked out together, hand-in-hand.

------------------------------

A/N: I knew from promotional material that we'd be going into the mind of someone struggling with alcoholism, but Bob's Bottles punched me hard in the gut. It's probably my favorite mind in the game, both because it's visually gorgeous and because it hit a little close to home with some of the themes, like generational alcoholism and how the addiction can make someone a shell of themselves.

I wrote half of this three weeks ago and then found myself really struggling to finish it because it brought up a lot of old feelings I thought I'd sorted through a long time ago.

Psychonauts, man.

[authornina]

The Tassle Worth the Hassle: Congratulations Sav!👨🏾‍🎓

***THIS HAS NOT BEEN THROUGH A TYPICAL EDITING PROCESS; ALL SHORTS ARE ROUGH DRAFTS***

Chi kept standing up screaming Sav’s name when it got quiet and he ducked his head like he didn’t know who the hell her crazy ass was. She was doing it to purposely embarrass him. 

“Sit your ass down!” Ivy whispered. “You making us all look crazy!” 

“I love you Dayvion! I’m so proud of you baby!” Chi said one last thing before taking her seat.

The ceremony was long and many people in the stadium started becoming drowsy. Thank goodness they didn’t bring any of their children because no way could a bunch of two and one-year olds sit through this.

After two hours of honoring specific students, and guest speakers, Sav was up. He was graduating Summa Cum Laude and Lake couldn’t have been prouder. He and some other students were sitting on the stage. They’d been chosen to represent the student body because they held the highest distinctions amongst their peers. Of the three who’d held the highest distinctions, they voted and chose him to give the speech. 

When Sav stood up the whole class erupted. He was popular on campus not only as a ladies man but the weed man as well. They absolutely loved him. He was one of the few African Americans that attended the prestigious university, so it was easy to stand out. 

“Why are they goin’ up for my husband like this?” Chi asked, being drowned out by the amount of cheering happening for Sav. 

“Chill, y’all,” Sav said over the mic. “Dean Lee said she not for my shit—” he slipped up and everyone laughed. “I mean stuff today.”

The Dean who was also black shook her head at his use of language, but she knew how Dayvion Porter, which she addressed him as could be. They’d had several run ins over the course of his college career. The young man with tattoos galore, foul mouth and pants off his ass was indeed by measure the smartest one in the sea of thousands of students. She wanted this young black scholar to have his moment even in its rawness. This was black excellence being shown at a PWI and she was proud nonetheless. 

“Ummm…everybody know I ain’t wanna do this.” Sav did not try to sound intelligent or put on for nobody. They wanted him to give this speech he was going to do it as him. Educated and all, he was true to himself. “I told Dean Lee I would be honest and y’all still chose me so here we go…” 

“Fucking right bro!” A white guy shouted from the crowd. 

“I know a lot of us struggled to make it to this stage. Not only the amount of work we had to put in to make it here but the pressure, financial restraints, family issues, our mental incapacities at times…a lot more goes into just getting a degree. Picking something you can actually apply and let’s be honest, make money from in this nut ass world. Shout out to y’all who got art degrees, it’s about to be hell,” Sav said honestly and the audience died of laughter. “I know some of y’all personally who went through some of this. To be honest, ion know what it look like. I couldn’t relate because I didn’t have those problems. Y’all probably thought I’m the made it out the hood specialty case. I had a big brother who not only kept pushing me to finish but made sure I didn’t have not one worry while doing it, so this was a breeze for me actually. I don’t need no college degree, but I did this for one person and one person only. My brother Lake. I wanna honor him with this because a lot of the great people, the ones behind the scenes who never get recognized are the real ones that make it happen. I was able to run a whole business, get married, have kids, live my life stress free. He gave me what I know a lot of people who look like me never get. A peace of mind. A care-free life, the tools I needed to be successful and I thank him for that every day.” Sav was looking right at Lake. “My brother the reason why I get to stand here right now…so this to the single moms out here doing it all on their own that got their kids to this day, to the dads working day and night to pay for tuitions, the grandparents, siblings, aunties and uncles who put their all into a kid to see them do better. If it wasn’t for y’all, I’m sure we wouldn’t be up in here falling asleep and waiting to hear our name called for a degree we couldn’t have gotten without y’all.” 

Although the ceremony wasn’t done after Sav’s speech all the students felt every word he said and so did the families there to support them. 

“Wait…” Dean Lee got up ready to stop them but it was too late all the graduates were up on their feet, throwing their caps in the air. It was like a big party started. It took twenty minutes to get everything settled then the degrees were finally handed out. 

“Dayvion Porter,” they called Sav’s name to receive his degree and it went crazy again. 

“That’s it!” the president of the school got up waving his hands then shouted in the mic. “Everyone please sit down!”                                                       ******* Lake waited patiently, watching Sav bump fists with a bunch of people because he wasn’t about to touch all them hands. He stood in his robe, medals and cords around his neck looking like a true scholar. He admired the hell out of his little brother. Not even for finishing but remaining authentic and true to himself during the process. Sav had his moments but everything he set out to accomplish, had been done. Lake couldn’t and wouldn’t ask anymore of him.

“You proud of me?” Sav asked, coming towards him with his arms out for hug.

“So proud man,” Lake smiled, embracing his baby brother. “I’m so fuckin’ proud.” 

“Thank you, where the fuck everybody go?” 

“Home, they didn’t want to stay around for the crowd and all the traffic.”

“Now you know that’s fucked up. Even my own wife? All this and them niggas dip on me? Take me home to my kids. Nobody better not say shit to me.”

“Chill, I wanted you to take a ride with me.”  

“Ion even feel like it.” Sav’s feelings were hurt. His whole family was worried about beating traffic than his big day. It upset him more because he didn’t even care about it as much as they did.

They had to get all of his gifts professors, the school, students and others got for him. Sav indeed was their favorite. Someone even gave him basketball season tickets. Once they were in the car Lake did his best not to laugh. Sav was really upset. 

“Why the fuck we here?” 

Lake pulled into to the strip club they used to frequent and Sav knew something was up now. His brother wasn’t allowed to be a hundred feet of no strippers per his wife’s rules. Only if she was DJing did Avery let him enter the building.

“Because I thought it would cheer you up.” 

“I told you I don’t feel like shit no more. Them niggas fucked my mood up. Especially, Chi, she really dipped on me. Her fuckin’ muscle head ass better hope ion divorce her.”

“Sav, relax, nigga,” Lake laughed lighting a blunt then passing it to him. “Hassan would be proud of you man.”

“Yea…” Sav put his head back blowing out smoke. “I be thinkin’ bout Daddy a lot.” 

“Me too, all the time actually…I wish he would’ve made it, seen you today. It’s moments like this that make life worth living.” Lake stared out the window. After a few seconds of silence, he reached in the back seat and handed Sav an envelope. 

“What’s this?” 

“I ain’t know what to get a nigga that got it all for a graduation gift.” 

“Aw man…” Sav looked at all the papers and got emotional. 

Lake knew it bothered him that he didn’t know where he came from for sure. He couldn’t do a traditional testing since their father was deceased and had been cremated. But there was sibling DNA test and because Sav, Lake, Vant and Wreck didn’t share the same mother, it was easy to get proof. If he wasn’t Hassan’s he’d have not an ounce of relation to them.  

“Sav even if that shit ain’t say what we already knew it wouldn’t have made you any less my brother. I hope you know that.” 

“Thanks man,” Sav dapped Lake up and he pulled him in for a hug.

“Why the fuck y’all sittin’ in here cuddling and shit?” Wreck was about to get in the back, but Lake had car seats. “Nigga, Avery whip don’t have nothing in it. I swear you and Vant the wives.” 

“Fuck you nigga,” Lake pushed him getting out the car. “Stop takin’ your anger out on everybody. I told you come talk to me, you wanna hide out and shit. Think Daly ain’t tell me the bullshit you been on.” 

“I ain’t got nothing to say, and Daly a nut for bringin’ shit to you like I’m not a grown ass man! It’s fuck everything and that’s on my Daddy.” Wreck walked over and dapped Sav up. “I’m proud of you nigga.” 

“Are you really bro?” 

“Yea! Ion mean to be so hard on you. I apologize. Just…you know I’m dealin’ with my own shit right now, but I love you man.”

“I know, it’s cool, I love you too.” Sav felt bad for his brother. Wreck didn’t know which way he was going. It had spread about Gia breaking up with him. A simple, I don’t want to be with you anymore, was all the reason she gave him. That’s all he got from her. Wreck opened himself up to a woman for the last time. 

“Let’s go in here, I can’t be out for long or A will come lookin’ for me.” 

“Cause you a whipped ass—” 

“Y’all keep saying that,” Lake laughed, cutting Wreck off. “But I’m happy as fuck. I have no resistance in letting love take over me anymore.” 

“And you know what? I am genuinely jealous and that ain’t even me bro.” 

“Wreck,” Lake stopped walking. “I’m for real, come talk to me. Tomorrow, nigga.” 

“Everything already fucked up, bro. Gia will never be with me again.” 

“How?” Sav asked.

“Ion wanna talk about it.” 

“What the hell is taking so long?!” Chi pushed the door open. 

“Fuck is you doing here?” Sav looked at Lake confused. “I did not ask to come here, Chi. Lake brought me. I was on the way home.” He started defending himself immediately. 

“Get in here, Dayvion.” Chi pulled him along and it was dark as hell on the inside.

“SURPRISE!” the lights, loud ass music and cheering all happened at the same time. The whole club was decorated in his school colors with a big ass banner congratulating him. Everybody was holding cutouts of Sav’s head from his graduation photo. 

“You did this for me?” Sav wanted to cry.

“Mhm…” 

“I love you,” Sav kissed her all the way down on the couch. 

“Stop Sav!” Chi laughed. “My dress is comin’ up! You doin’ all this in front of people!” 

“Can I give my brother a hug now?” Dem asked and they let each other go. “I’m proud of you bul.” 

“Thank you.” Sav hugged Dem longer than he did his own wife. Chi was over trying to get in between something that Sav needed to literally survive, to breathe and have good days. They were working through a lot of things and as long as he prioritized her and their children then he could love on Dem all he wanted. 

“I’m so proud of you, boo boo,” Ivy said kissing her baby all over. 

“Ard come on with all that shit,” Vant tore them apart. “We got a surprise for you later,” he whispered making Sav laugh.

“Shout out to my young nigga Sav! Congratulations bro!” DJ AP shouted in the mic sounding like a nigga making everybody crack the fuck up. She was barely six weeks post-partum and came out to party for her favorite person much to Lake’s dismay. “This one for you baby!” Avery pointed at him then played Nicki Minaj Moment for Life. Sav wouldn’t openly admit he was a fan. 

“No, I'm not lucky, I'm blessed, yes, clap for the heavyweight champ, me! But I couldn't do it all alone, we!” Sav jumped on all his brothers. The moment was so nice. “Lake Porter raised me,” he remixed the lyrics. 

Lake looked at Wreck who was visibly sad and hugged his brother and in front of everyone Wreck received it because he really needed it. 

“It’s gon’ be okay, ard?” 

“Yea…” Wreck didn’t want to ruin his little brother’s day so he decided to just put his own issues aside for the time being. Vant handed him a drink patting his back. 

“It’s ard bro.” 

“Put ya drinks up,” Dem held his glass in the air with is arm wrapped around Sav. “It's a celebration, every time we link up, we done did everything, they can think of, greatness, is what we on the brink of!”

“I WISH THAT I COULD HAVE THIS MOMENT FOR LIFE!” everyone sang