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loveandthings11 · 2 months

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How Deep My Love Goes, Chapter 14

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Fic Summary: A fix-it alongside canon that answers the question "how would things change if Rava said yes?" 💗 Chapter Summary: At Argestes, Kendall gathers support for the takeover from Waystar's inner circle even as tension builds and trust splinters within his team. Everyone scrambles to gauge each other's reactions to Logan's out-of-control anger.

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Shanghai, 2003

“I can’t deal with this,” Kendall says into his office phone. She can hear that he’s suffering as she struggles to stay awake in New York.

“I’m sorry I’m so tired,” she says sleepily.

“No, I should have called you earlier. You- you should be falling asleep with me,” he says. He sounds almost desperate. “You have to come out here. I can’t stand it without you. I seriously, like- I’m not- I need you. Fuck. I miss you. No one understands how hard this is.”

She takes in a breath.

“I might be the only one who does,” she says more clearly. “I miss you so much it hurts.” She hugs her pillow. “I wish I could hug you right now. Make you feel better.”

“Oh my god, I’m dying for it,” he says. His voice sounds so stressed and it hurts that she can’t be there to comfort him.

“I want to hold you and cover us up in this comforter,” she says. “Keep you warm, kiss your face.” Sometimes she stays away from it, but tonight she’s just allowing the torture.

He drops his head into his hands. “I fucking- I need that so badly. I need you. I’m-“ he shakes his head “-yeah, you know what? I’m sending a plane for you. Come stay with me. Please.”

“What about-“ she starts.

“I’ll call Yale. It doesn’t matter. You can finish the semester from here. We’ll figure it out.”

“Oh? And how is that going to work?” she laughs.

“Because I’ll make it work. I’m calling them tomorrow.” He sounds serious.

“And- they’ll just say yes?” she asks, trying not to let herself believe it yet.

“One of the few advantages my father offers,” he grumbles. “Their endowment can increase significantly.” He and his dad have been fighting for months over Logan’s decision to send him across the world for a year.

“Oh, one of the few,” Rava smiles.

“I’ll pay your law professors personally. They’ll do individual sessions, whatever it takes. It’s your last year. You’ll have bar exam tutors, whatever, I’ll fly them out.”

“Okay! Well, you’ve convinced me,” she says. She feels a smile spreading across her face. “Ken, can you actually do this? Because if I think I’m going to be wrapping my entire body around you this week and then it doesn’t happen-“

“Well, now that you’ve put it like that, my entire body is very ready for that scenario,” he says. He drags a hand over his face. “Jesus. Two months since your last visit is like a fucking year, I’m fixing this right now. I’m gonna let you go to sleep before I lose my mind in this office.”

“Okay,” she agrees reluctantly. “I really wish you were here.”

He sighs.

“I can’t even think about you in bed right now.” He pauses. “Except that now I will think about you in bed, and nothing else, for the rest of the day.” He pictures their fluffy comforter, soft-as-air sheets wrapped around her perfect body, arms reaching toward him with sparkles in her eyes. “What are you wearing?” he asks to complete the fantasy.

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to talk about that while you’re at work,” Rava teases. He chuckles.

“You’re not. But now I fucking have to know. Break my rule. Get your camera and email me a picture.”

“Kendall Roy, what kind of a girl do you think I am?” she asks with pretend shock. He smiles.

“Does that mean you’re not wearing anyth… no. Don’t answer that. You’re getting on a plane this week.”

“Whatever you say,” she says nonchalantly. He raises his eyebrows.

“Whatever I say? Are we keeping that rule when you get here?” he asks.

“Maybe,” Rava answers sweetly. “What are you wearing?”

He grins a little but refuses to give in.

“A suit.”

“That’s not very descriptive. That’s like me just saying ‘lingerie,’” she says. He wonders if anyone can see his smile through the glass of the office. Anyone could tell this is not a business call but he can’t stop.

“I’m not describing my suit.”

“Oh, you’re soooo serious and business-like,” she says mockingly. He tries unsuccessfully to keep his expression neutral.

“Okay. Well, this is a serious day-“ he attempts.

“What color is it?” she interrupts.

He gives it up, shaking his head and laughing.

“Navy blue. Are you happy?” She loves the sound of his laughter. It takes a lot of work and it’s always worth it.

“I will be if I see you this week,” she answers honestly. “You’re really going to call them tomorrow?” she asks hopefully. The possibility makes her heart race and she yearns for definite confirmation that she’ll have him back in her arms soon.

“Absolutely.” He looks at his watch and sighs. “Okay, well-“

“Nooo, don’t go,” she coos. But she knows she has to sleep and he has to work.

“Believe me, I don’t want to,” he says. She makes him feel more wanted than he’s ever felt.

“Okay. Thank you for taking care of this. I love you so, so much. I hope I get to see you this week.” She buries her face in the pillow and wills herself to stop being so excited before she knows if it’s really going to happen.

“You will. I love you too,” he says. He remembers the awful feeling of practically being pulled away from her at the hangar when he left and seeing her crying through the jet window. He can’t do that again. “You’ll stay? When you come?” he asks.

“For as long as you want,” she smiles.

“Forever,” he says. “Just so we’re clear.”

She blushes into speechlessness. She can’t believe how lucky she is.

“Forever. But we’re not staying there forever,” she half-asks.

“Don’t even worry. The day we get back to New York, that townhouse is gonna be home for real.” He’d bought them their dream place on the Upper East Side right before Logan had casually announced that Kendall would be in Shanghai for a year. He can’t wait to propose this coming year and make it all official.

“I love that,” she says dreamily.

“The place is good so far?” he asks. He’s jealous he’s not getting to experience it with her. His long-term hotel penthouse feels cold and impersonal and he misses Rava’s ability to make every room she walks into feel like home to him. He feels warmer at the idea of her in the suite. He likes it better already.

“It’s perfect,” she replies truthfully. “It’s missing you, though. It’s a good thing I have your sweatshirt.” She pauses. “Actually, can I break your rule?”

He smiles.

“Sure,” he agrees.

“Your sweatshirt. That’s what I’m wearing,” she says.

He wonders how she’s real.

“That’s even better than what I was thinking. Well, sort of.” She giggles. She’s warm in their bed inside his sweatshirt. He can’t do this anymore without going insane. “So… you go to sleep. I’ll take care of everything. You’ll be here within the week.”

“You’ll tell me exactly when tomorrow?” she asks. They had stopped doing their hourly count when she’d emailed him to ask how many hours til she saw him and he’d replied “a million :(“

“Yes. And it’s going to be less than a hundred hours. I can make it,” he says. “I think.”

“I’m so ready to see you. Less than a hundred hours.” She’s suddenly filled with relief. It hits her and she squeals. He smiles at the sound. She’s that excited to see him. “You have to cancel everything on your schedule because when I get there I am not letting go of you for two entire days!”

“That sounds so good,” he says. He glances out his glass office door at Nate and three of his coworkers heading his way. “Okay, I’m really sorry, but the guys are coming in here for the meeting. I love you. I can’t wait to see you. You have no idea.”

“I’m so excited! I love you!” she exclaims. Have a good meeting. I love you, I love you, I love you!”

……

Kendall’s leaning against the upholstered headboard smiling as he reads Rava’s gifted diary. He’d planned to read it all in one day but decided that reading one entry at a time was better.

She drapes her arm over his stomach from the pillow.

“What are you reading about?” she whispers.

“The week you came out to Shanghai.” He looks down at her. “You’re so fucking cute.”

“Mm I remember that. Just couldn’t take it anymore!” she smiles and nudges him to come closer. He slides down back under the comforter next to her and she puts the journal in the nightstand drawer.

“Yeah, that was physically painful.” He rolls onto his side and pulls her into his arms, exhaling fully. “This,” he says. “This is what I needed.”

She kisses him slowly and remembers the absolute euphoria of running into his arms as soon as she’d touched down.

He’d picked her up at the bottom of the plane staircase and she’d finally felt like she was flying even though she’d been in the air for hours. His driver and the flight attendants had stared at them kissing on the tarmac and fumbling and tripping backwards through laughs into the waiting limo.

“You brought literal sunshine with you,” he’d smiled as she shamelessly laid on top of him on the long seat and they saw the rays shining through the window. She had beamed at him and kissed him again and again.

“Where are we going?” she’d asked as the car started moving.

“Bed. Immediately.” He’d flashed her a devilish smile and she’d returned it as he started slipping his fingertips under her shirt.

She’d been terrified for months that she was going to lose him to someone else or that he would get stuck working in Shanghai permanently and wouldn’t be allowed to come home.

The relief of knowing she doesn’t ever have to be without him again floods her like it had in that moment and she rubs his shoulders.

“Hey,” she murmurs. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he mumbles into her hair.

“I’m going to go to Argestes with you,” she tells him.

He’s glad to hear the confirmation. He wants to look at her but he wants to stay where he is more.

“Yeah? Even with the kids and the plane and everything?”

“Yeah.”

He nods contentedly.

“Good.”

……

After dinner that night, Rava scrolls through The New York Times headlines while the staff cleans up. Kendall is reading through his hundreds of subject lines looking for anything that actually needs his attention when Connor calls him. He’s surprised for a moment but picks up right away once he remembers what the rest of the family is doing.

“Miss you, Kenny,” Connor slurs a little as soon as Kendall answers the phone. “Miss. You.”

Kendall is touched. And touched by guilt. He’d told himself he was going to make more of an effort with his big brother and they’ve barely spoken since RECNY.

“Hey, I miss you, too. How’s, uh… where are you all again?” He feels a pang of being left out. It’s been wearing on him lately.

“Tern Haven. What the Pierces call their compound.” Connor rolls his eyes. “They won’t take me seriously as a candidate, you know? They’re so into their elite establishments-“

“Dude. Criticism of the elite? Like- seriously?”

“Ha! You fit with everyone so well. Fuck,” Connor shakes his head. “Even when you’re out, you’re in,” he says. Kendall can hear the resentment and envy.

“Uh. Well, I don’t know that Dad would say that,” he responds. “So- so, what’s been happening? Is Nan Pierce-“

“Kenny, I love you. But I’m not calling to talk about company bullshit.”

“Oh- uh, right. Okay. Well…” Kendall doesn’t know quite what to say for a moment. “So- how are you?” he asks.

“Well, thank you for asking. I’m tired of not being taken seriously.”

“Well- Con, I get it, but you have to prove you deserve it to Dad if you want his-“

“-love?”

“-I was going to say respect. Although….” Kendall rubs his face. “He- I mean, not that I necessarily know everything- but- I think I’ve spent a lot of time close to him, so…”

“That you have,” Connor says plainly. Kendall’s a little thrown off by the attitude.

“Uh, are you guys drinking a lot?”

Rava glances up at him.

“You’re going to ask me if I’m drinking?” Connor asks with an edge.

Kendall sighs and looks at Rava with an expression that conveys how aggressive his brother sounds.

“I just- you seem…” he searches for the right words.

“Upset? Taken advantage of? You’re god damned right. And you’re off with your other family just laughing it up and taking away the company that makes any of us somebodies.”

“My other family?” Kendall is a little aghast at that and Rava looks taken aback. “You’re the one who- who always said I’d get them back? What the fuck? You know what happened with Dad. I had to do something.”

“Not this!” Connor exclaims. Kendall can hear the booze in his voice. “Splitting us up. We could have all been here together, you know? For once.”

“Okay, I’m not doing this. It is not my fault that we’re- you know, split like this. Blame Dad. I’m sure he’s pinning this all on me, but, it’s not just me. What was I supposed to do?” Rava is increasingly annoyed at the disruption in their peaceful day.

“Not take everything for yourself,” Connor grumbles.

“What? It was all taken from me. I- I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.” Kendall has a bit of an out-of-body experience saying the things that were once said to him in similar situations. “I’m just going to hang up- and- and we can talk later.” He thinks he sounds like Rava four years ago and wonders if she thinks the same thing.

“No,” Connor says. “I’m sorry. I’m- drunk. I don’t want to- just, you’re the favorite and you don’t appreciate it. You’re not even here. The one time I’m actually invited.”

“Con, Dad tried to destroy my life multiple times in the last four- five months. I don’t think I’m his favorite. Or- not anymore, I dunno.” Hearing himself say it makes him sad. “As for me being there, that just doesn’t- it doesn’t make any sense. When you’re back in the city we can get together. If you want.”

“Sure,” Connor says dully. “But we won’t.”

“Yeah, yes we will,” Kendall replies. “You know, if it made any sense for me to be there, I would be. I actually- it’s hard not to see anyone. Are you going to be at Argestes?”

“No,” Connor answers flatly. “Not invited to things like that. You know, the way the little ones talk to me is unacceptable. Roman thinks I’m a joke and Shiv couldn’t care less.”

“I mean- that’s the way they are,” Kendall says as sympathetically as he can. “They talk to me like that, too. Sometimes it’s good with them, but then- well, they have their own thing.”

“You three have your own thing.”

“Uh, less now. I mean, if it makes you feel better that we’re apart,” Kendall says with some bitterness. He doesn’t like it himself.

“Great, now I’m bad for wanting to separate you,” Connor replies. Kendall rolls his eyes. This conversation is impossible. Connor continues, “But you know, I would know, it sucks that you aren’t talking to them.”

Kendall feels more guilt seep in. His frequent talks with Roman and his last one with Shiv are too secret to mention. He hates to lie when Connor feels like this.

“I mean, yeah, it’s hard not to see them much, but- but all of this is necessary. And it’s temporary.” His carefully chosen words make him feel slimy.

“Right.” Connor scoffs lightly. “Necessary. Because you can’t live without Waystar, right?”

Kendall looks down. He’s sorry to say it, but at least he can tell the truth here.

“Not- not really.”

Connor nods sadly.

“Yeah.” He pauses. “I fucking love you, Kenny. I really do. I’m happy you’re happy.”

“Well- I don’t want you to- I- I mean, I love you, too. I don’t know if I’d say I’m just happy. Everything you said? Roman and Shiv? I don’t like this either.” Rava shifts in her chair and looks sad for a moment. He catches her eye and points to the phone like he had to say it, but she can tell it’s not all made up. He pauses for a moment and gets up to walk out of the room. “Look- you- you helped me when things were bad,” he says quietly. “So, if you want to talk about anything-“ he sees an opportunity. “-the President thing maybe?” he approaches cautiously. “Like, are you just doing this for-“

“Attention?” Connor finishes. “In fact, I am doing this because my principles are the ones America needs to adopt in order to save herself.”

Jesus, Kendall thinks.

“Okay, well. If you want to talk. You know.”

He feels bad but he can’t stop wondering about what happened at dinner. He thinks he’d better not ask Connor.

“Yeah. Okay. Well, I made a friend here. Maxim Pierce. I kinda hate him, but he kinda hates me too, so it’s fun. He’s got some port that’s life-changing. I guess I better get back out there. So…”

“I’ll see you in New York,” Kendall offers.

“Uh-huh. That’ll be good,” Connor says. Kendall hears the doubt in his voice and promises himself he’ll do better with reaching out.

……

Tanya the travel nanny sits reading to the kids in their seat cluster on the jet as Rava pores over the latest documents the firm sent her. Kendall looks out the window and plays music to hype himself up for the upcoming run-in with his dad and siblings at Argestes. He looks at the text he’d received from Roman the morning before and lets it fill him with energy.

Naomi Pierce swung the vote against Waystar. An absolute no. But Dad will get them at Argestes anyway.

Stewy laughs at his phone and calls over to Kendall’s side of the plane.

“Take off your headphones and come look at this shit,” he says. This girl just sent me an article from some site called Fuckable in Finance. It’s a countdown. Top ten.”

Rava looks at Stewy disapprovingly for his language and its content near the kids, but Kendall’s obvious intrigue dances on his face. Stewy gives her an unconvincing apologetic look. Kendall pulls the headphones down around the back of his neck.

“So-?”

“Guess who number one is?” Stewy asks smugly.

“Do we have to?” Rava says drily.

“I guess no one really does now,” Stewy answers mock-thoughtfully.

Kendall stands up and strides over to Stewy, picking up his iPad and scrolling. He wrinkles his nose.

“Four?”

“You’re very hard on yourself, Ken,” Rava says as she pretends to focus on her paperwork.

“I know, seemed a little high for you,” Stewy says. “Recent media appearances probably skewed it in your favor, though. People love it when a thirty-nine-year-old goes through a rebellious phase.”

“Okay. Ha ha.” Kendall wishes Roman were here to do something annoying like put a blanket over Stewy’s head, or at least mess his hair up. “Are there a lot of these countdowns?” he asks.

“Oh god, take the iPad from him now,” Rava says to Stewy as she gives him a rare rye smile. Stewy looks triumphant as Kendall furrows his brow and does a Google search.

“Kendall, do you want to read the next chapter to the kids?” Tanya calls over. “They’re asking for you to do it.”

“With the voices!” Sophie exclaims.

Rava looks at Kendall lovingly and he looks up from Stewy’s iPad.

“Uh, yeah. Okay. I’ll be right there.”

“iPad, please,” Stewy says in a self-satisfied way. Kendall drops it onto Stewy’s armrest without looking at him as Rava stifles a laugh at their adolescent behavior. Kendall walks over to the kids and glances over self-consciously at Rava and Stewy watching him expectantly as he picks up the book.

“In here,” Kendall says to the kids, and ushers them behind a curtain to the other room.

……

Rava glances over at Roman and Kendall poking each other as soon as they’ve walked into the building for Argestes day one.

“Rockin’ some horny ankle cleavage,” Roman’s saying quietly to Kendall. Kendall looks at him with a smirk.

“Oooh, that’s scary. I’m scared.”

Rava chuckles and looks around to see who she might chat with. They’ve been spending so much time alone together lately that she hasn’t seen Bro Kendall in a while. She forgot how funny the inflated ego makes him.

“Maybe you should be scared,” Roman smirks. “We have this deal on lock.”

“I don’t think you do,” Kendall says, trying to sound sure of himself. “I think Nan wants nothing to do with Dad, Waystar, and especially ATN.”

“Well, unless you’ve got something huge to stand in Waystar’s way, you and Stewy and Sandy are dead in the water.”

Kendall works hard to maintain a neutral face until an hour later, when he and Stewy are sitting in armchairs in a breakout room, laptops out and coffees on tables.

“Are you seeing this email from Sandy?” Stewy raises his eyebrows as he scrolls on his phone. Kendall stares at his computer screen.

“Yeah. Fuck. This is a shitstorm. The wolf pack, the whole fucking- I think Greg knows all about this cruises shit… we should have stopped this, done something-“ Kendall starts.

“Dude. What are you talking about, Sandy’s thrilled! No chance Pierce sells to your dad once this story is released,” Stewy almost laughs. “It was supposed to be a while til they published this, but you know Logan’s going to make another attempt to buy while Nan is here. We’ve got to stop that. Waystar tanks, it’ll be nice and easy for us to buy it up.”

Kendall looks at him.

“I- I mean, yeah, but this can’t be the reason Pierce doesn’t sell. What are we doing to stop this article?”

“Stop it?” Stewy drops his head back. “Ken. Don’t be sentimental here. You want Waystar? This is how we get it.”

“How we get it?” Kendall’s wheels turn. “Did Sandy have something to do with this? Did- did he move up the publishing date?”

“Don’t get crazy,” Stewy warns.

“He fucking called New York Magazine?”

“It is his.”

Kendall gives Stewy an almost hurt look.

“Stewy. I did not agree to this. I wasn’t consulted, I would never have allowed this.”

“Well, you’re not the one in charge yet,” Stewy says.

“But you knew about this, obviously. And you didn’t tell me?” Stewy keeps the calm voice that he knows Kendall has to hear right now.

“You can’t always see through it all. It’s Sandy’s way of making things work, okay? You’ll be glad down the line.” Kendall looks at him like he’s insane.

“There might not be a way through it all. He didn’t even talk to me? Stew. Fucking- level with me. Is he trying to get me off the team? Does he have a new CEO in mind?”

“Don’t be paranoid. You’re fine, he’s just being practical.”

“He hasn’t taken my calls the last two days. We don’t have to destroy the company’s reputation,” Kendall says. Stewy still looks far too tranquil.

“Well, it’s happening. Nothing I can do,” Stewy shrugs. He sees a group walking by outside the door and nods at Kendall. “I’ll be back later.” He starts walking away.

“Come on, bro, I’m not done with this. Don’t fucking-“

Kendall is left standing by himself, tension bubbling from his stomach into his chest and clouding his head. The only thing he can think is that he has got to talk to Sandy. He shuts the door of the side room and reenters the cavernous networking space. He spies Sandy schmoozing with some others in the corner and begins to make his way over. He glances up at the balcony and sees Roman and Gerri rushing away into a conference room followed by Hugo and Logan. His stomach flips and he feels a physical pull toward that room. He should be in there. They’re defending the company. He tries to straighten his thoughts. He’s going to try to defend the company the only way he can. He walks over to Sandy and gives him a tight smile.

Sandy extricates himself from the group he’s with and walks with Kendall into a corner, sporting matching publicly-viewable smiles and relaxed expressions.

“Sandy. New York Magazine?” Kendall starts, keeping a pleasant tone for the many curious lookers-on. “This- this is how you want to win?”

“Kendall, I think you are maybe a little close to this situation,” Sandy says with an edge to his voice as he looks calmly at Kendall.

“What does that mean?”

“You are more concerned about the company’s reputation than ensuring our success.”

“Well, yeah, it matters that the company is in good shape once it’s in our hands.”

“This is a good move, and if it were any other firm, you’d agree that this is the right path.” Kendall tries not to think about whether that’s true. “I think you’re a bit emotion-focused right now.” Kendall tries not to let the fury spill out. “We can PR this… unseemly issue.”

“Sandy-“

“You’re not willing to damage the value temporarily, which we need to do in order to take over,” Sandy continues without allowing the interruption. “We have to stop this Pierce deal. Make them balk.”

“They already said no at Tern Haven. Roman told me so.” Kendall says flatly.

“For their own floppy reasons,” Sandy points out. “Logan is a persuasive man, is he not?” Kendall can’t argue with that. “We need something that even he can’t outbid. Something the Pierces will find sharply distasteful, not just generally offensive.”

“Sure, but-“ Kendall tries again to interrupt.

“But it’s your baby. Isn’t it?” Sandy maintains eye contact with Kendall, smiling placidly as if this isn’t a question that could end the world. “I also worry that this is more about your ego than anything else. You were across the department at the time, you might get dragged for it.”

“I- well- no. It’s- that was Mo, and Bill, first of all,“ Kendall starts. “It’s more than that. This- I am serious about being CEO, Sandy, and shepherding Waystar into the future. Let me say first that obviously whatever happened back then is not okay. I was not aware. I mean, of course there were people I- Mo, you know, he was an old family friend but- but, yeah, we should’ve gotten rid of him. There were-“ he shakes his head. “Sandy, you don’t have to publish. You don’t have to do this.”

“Kendall. It’s going to happen whether we do this or not. And I think you are gong to have to figure out what to say about these things when they come up. I’m sure you will.” And with that, he’s walking away and Kendall’s standing there silently arguing.

He’s so worked up he’s running his hand over the back of his head and starts looking around. He clocks Stewy coming toward him and slapping his own serene smile on top of his concern.

“Ken, what are you doing?”

“Sandy’s fucking threatening me I think?” Kendall begins. “Unless I’m good with the company being destroyed by his article, I’m out?”

“Relax,” Stewy practically whispers. “You are not being removed. He’s doing what is necessary.”

“And if that results in the company being trashed?”

“We’ll PR that shit so hard no one will even remember.”

“Stewy. The cruises thing is fucked up, but I can take care of it our way. Those responsible should be held responsible, but-“

Stewy rolls his eyes.

“We’ll get you your very own soap box,” he says, patting Kendall’s shoulder. He sees someone out of the corner of his eye and walks away again.

Kendall stands in a spiral and looks around hoping to find someone who will relate. Just then, Rava sidles up to him and gives him an excited smile.

“Oh, this is actually fun,” she says. “It’s been a long time but I just had a great talk with-“ she sees his frown. “What’s up?”

“Uh- no. Nothing. It’s good you’re having a good time, I like it here too.”

“Okay. So… what’s with the face?”

He sighs.

“There’s an-an article coming out, about cruises stuff. I don’t know exactly what the story is but it’s going to be bad. Make the company look like shit, possibly make me look like the bad guy. I fucking know who the bad guys were.” He grumbles. “Sandy’s publishing in New York Magazine, which he owns. I couldn’t even- stop him, he’s doing this. He- he doesn’t care what happens to me, Stewy says we’ll just PR it, but I don’t know that I come out of this, or that Waystar even comes out of this-“

“So, what, you just keep it a secret? What kind of accusations are we talking about here?”

“I don’t- I don’t even know. I-“ he glances at her. “You know, bad guys. They did bad shit. Shadow logs, coercion… maybe some assault. Maybe, uh, worse.” He braces himself.

“Maybe some assault?” Rava repeats. “And what, murder? What are you going to say about this?”

“Well, it’s going to depend on how they frame it. They’re doing whatever Sandy says, so the blame is going to land wherever he says it’s going to land. It doesn’t matter what the truth is. Sandy is not that different from Dad, you know… If he says it, it’s real.”

Rava scoffs.

“It is not real just because he says it. And Sandy doesn’t want you to look bad. You’re on his team. I mean, right?”

Kendall thinks for a minute.

“Sure. For now. But, but yeah. If this comes out, we’re going to have to have a big reaction. People are going to look to me. I have to condemn this, have a better reaction than the sibs. I’m going to call some crisis people.” Rava sighs and nods. Always another crisis.

……

The next morning, Kendall and Rava sit with Sandy and Stewy at a table staring over at Logan and Nan and Rhea. The tension is thick in the thin air. Rava’s watching Kendall and can practically hear his thoughts. Can’t believe Sandy’s fucking doing this. He sits refreshing New York Magazine’s home page over and over, wondering what Roman and Shiv are thinking about this. He notices they weren’t invited to Logan’s table this morning.

“You good?” Rava whispers.

He nods.

“Had enough PR people and lawyers to last me a lifetime last night.”

“Oh?” Rava asks, mock-insulted.

He gives her a stressed smile.

“Yeah. Well, except one.” He fidgets in his chair and Sandy looks over.

“Can you relax? It’s not as bad as it could be, Kendall. I am not destroying the company I’m taking over,” he says. Kendall notices his use of “I’m.”

Over at the other table, Rhea is doing the same refreshing. Sandy grins and glances at the time.

“Three… two… one.”

The story pops up on Kendall’s screen and he starts to read it furiously between stares at his father’s table.

Sandy looks on contentedly as he watches Rhea get up from the table with Nan and sees Logan look after them.

“And there goes Pierce,” Sandy says in a tranquil tone.

“Fuck,” Kendall whispers as he reads. “I mean… this is not good.”

Rava reads over his shoulder. Sandy clinks glasses with Stewy and Kendall tries not to throw something. Stewy looks at his face and knows.

“Ken. This was necessary. No Pierce, Waystar’s ours.”

“Ours and ‘embattled,’” Kendall says indignantly as he continues to read. He is sick of being embattled.

“You really don’t see what this does for us?” Sandy asks. Kendall is seething.

“Respectfully, neither of you built this company,” he says in as controlled a voice as he can.

“You are not going to be taken down by this, man,” Stewy tells him. “It’ll be a temporary dip. You know this.”

Sandy and Stewy glance at each other and know that Kendall just can’t see the big picture here.

“You’ll see,” Sandy says. Rava looks at Kendall supportively but she wonders if it might really be necessary to make the takeover happen.

……

After hours of pacing and texting endless questions to Stewy while trying to find out what response Waystar is going to have at the evening’s panel, the time finally comes to sit down and watch it happen. He fidgets anxiously next to Rava in the audience as the discussions begin.

“Who are they even going to have?” he whispers between nail-bitings and foot bounces.

“Stop that,” Rava whispers back, forcing him to sit still and not draw attention to himself. “The more obvious it is that you’re here, the more people are going to stare.” He does his best to stop.

“This is insane.” He glances ahead of him two rows at Stewy and Sandy sitting together. “I would know exactly what to say for this if I were up there,” he whispers into Rava’s ear.

“I know. But it’s probably for the best that you are not the face of Waystar right now, don’t you think?” Rava points out.

“Yeah, I-I guess. Let Shiv and Rome look like idiots trying to defend this? Or throw me under the bus?”

“They can’t do that without also throwing your dad under the bus, which I doubt he would like very much. If they’re going to say you knew, no one would believe he didn’t know.”

Kendall sighs. That’s something. Roman and Shiv are announced and make their way onto the stage.

“This is a joke,” Kendall whispers.

His eyes bore into them as they begin their interview, but after a minute it’s too hard to look at them. He should up there, he should already be CEO. He makes himself take a look around at who else is there. He spots Frank and wills him to turn toward him. Frank continues gazing forward with his hand holding his face. Kendall doesn’t take his eyes off him. This could be the moment to convince him to leave.

“Maybe it’s time for a good old-fashioned dinosaur cull,” Shiv says. The room quiets. Kendall’s mouth falls open and so does Frank’s. In a moment, Frank turns and he’s looking right at Kendall. Kendall eyes him intently, hoping he’ll read his mind. But he lets his godfather lead and stays stoic until Frank breaks the silent pause.

“We need to talk,” Frank mouths. Kendall nods.

Half an hour later, he watches Frank cross his legs as he leans back in the swivel chair at the of table of the small conference room they’d snuck into. He observes his every expression as he continues making his case. “You can’t be seen to take the side of the old guard. Look what they allowed to happen.”

“Well, Ken, if we’re being honest, it could look like this is what you allowed to happen,” Frank says.

“Well, Frank, if I’m going to be honest with you, it could easily look like you orchestrated it and are trying to blame me.” It’s ribbing, it’s serious, it’s everything in between. Frank sighs and Kendall continues. “I-I mean, I’m just saying, I think it’s a solid move for you to show that it wasn’t you. Come to the light, you know? I know you, panic-meister. This is killing you. You’ve got to do something, yeah?” he says with mounting enthusiasm. “Yeah?! I fucking know you! Get away from the incompetents, come remake this thing with us.”

Frank looks at the door and back at Kendall.

“You trust Sandy?” Frank asks.

“I…” Kendall realizes a pause is dangerous. “Yes. Yes, I trust him.”

“Well,” he sighs. “I’ll think about it. He’s easing into the possibility and Kendall tries to temper his eagerness.

“Okay. Good, that’s all I’m asking.”

Frank gets up and turns toward the doorway.

“Hey, Frank?” Kendall asks before he goes. The uncertainty of his situation is getting to him. “Do you think- do you think I can do this?”

“Well,” Frank answers, “I think your dad has definitely thought so. In the past, you know.”

“Sure,” Kendall says. He loves hearing that. “But, do you?”

Frank nods equivocally.

“Yeah,” he says lightly. “Probably, yeah, I think you could. Maybe,” he chuckles.

Kendall nods. He hopes he’s right about whose team Frank’s going to end up on.

They walk back into the room full of networkers, shoe-lickers, show horses, and hangers-on. Kendall darts up the stairs and knows exactly who he’s looking for next. The tallest man in the room.

“Greg the motherfuckin’ egg,” Kendall smiles sardonically as he finds Greg walking down a hallway. Greg looks like he’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“Oh, h-hey, Ken! How’s everything going with, uh-“

“Greg,” he interrupts. “I’ve been thinking about our conversation at my sister’s wedding.”

“Oh-oh, yeah? Yeah.” Greg swallows and tries to breathe slowly.

“Well, I’m just wondering how much of this you know about. Because some of that insider information might be very useful. I thought we could talk about some opportunities for you at the new Waystar.”

“The new Waystar. That’s super- exciting, yeah. I really- um, I’ve been working a lot with Tom… though?”

“Tom?” Kendall scoffs lightly. “Greg. I like Tom. I do. But Tom is in charge of ATN. I’m about to be his boss. I already was his boss. If he’s lucky and gets to stay, we’ll see. He was also directly in the line of information that you shouldn’t have.” Kendall thinks for a second and looks directly at Greg. “Actually, is- is that where you got this information? From Tom?”

Greg looks too scared for that not to be the case. Kendall laughs a bitter laugh.

“Right. Okay. So you’re both stuck. I think you know I have every incentive to place the blame squarely on Mo, where it belongs, by the way, and Bill for covering it up, and unfortunately, that means Tom is in the line of fire. You, though? You could escape. Take the lifeboat.” Greg looks worried and Kendall looks at him seriously. “Just in case you hadn’t noticed, the cruise ship is sinking.”

On the other side of the room, on the ground floor, Rava’s gaze crosses the door that Logan, the old guard, Shiv, and Roman had entered after the panel discussion. Suddenly, she sees Roman stumble out holding his jaw and is shocked to see some unmistakable drops of blood on his hand where he’s holding his face. Her mouth drops open and she makes a beeline for him. He sees her coming and tries to turn the other way.

“Roman,” Rava calls, approaching him slowly. She’s pretty sure she knows what just happened. She catches up to him as he turns a corner into an empty hallway. “Roman. Are you okay?”

“I’m fucking fine, why is everyone asking me that?” But he’s looking at his hand in horror.

“Well,” Rava indicates his hand, his face.

“It was nothing,” Roman insists. “A fucking- accident.” But there are tears forming.

Rava reaches her hand out to touch his shoulder. It’s so tense it feels like a rock. He’s defended and doesn’t really respond.

“Hey. I’m not new here,” she says softly. He still doesn’t want to make eye contact. “Did he break anyth- oh, god,” she reacts as he pulls a tooth out.

“Ow, fuck. It’s fine, it’s nothing, I’ll get a new one,” Roman shrugs. But he’s obviously falling apart.

“Unbelievable,” she whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

She puts her arm around him even though he tries to shrug her off. He sniffles.

“I’m sure Kendall loves that shit, but I’m stronger than him. If he even chipped a tooth he’d be in a plastic surgeon’s office with three psychiatrists convincing him not to jump off a fucking building.”

Rava squeezes her eyes shut and smiles.

“Okay. Can I get you some ice?”

He thinks about saying no but he can feel the swelling.

“Fuck you, fine.”

“Rome?!” They hear Shiv’s voice echoing as she quickly strides in their direction, the door slamming behind her. Rava watches her turn the corner and spot him, bending down to look at his face and make sure he’s okay.

“I’ll be back,” Rava assures him as she heads to find a server.

Once she’s collected the ice, she returns to him, now sitting in a chair in an awkward ball next to Shiv.

“Here you go,” she hands him the pack. He sighs.

“Thank you,” he says begrudgingly. “Where’s Ken, by the way? Can you- where is he?”

“I’ll get him,” she says immediately. “You want me to send him here, or-“

“No,” Shiv says. “No, we’ll be in Rome’s room. Right?” she asks him. He nods.

“Okay. I’ll tell him to come right to you.” Rava takes off to find Kendall. She walks all around the room and looks up to the balcony. Greg is slowly turning away from Kendall and walking back down to the Waystar room Roman just left. She takes long strides to get to Kendall faster. He catches her eye and she gives him a look that screams problems. He rushes to meet her on the staircase.

“Hey. What’s up?” he asks tensely. He looks pulled in a million directions and there’s about to be one more. She tries to keep her voice as delicate as possible.

“Uh, Ken, I’m sorry to tell you this, but your dad-“ she sighs. “Your dad hit Roman- pretty badly. Lost a tooth, he’s-”

The color drains from Kendall’s face.

“He fucking what? When- just now?” Rage spurts out of him. “I’m going to fucking kill him.” She puts a hand on his arm to make him keep listening.

“Yes, it was just a minute ago. I found Roman coming out of the room, and he’s with Shiv now. He asked for you to come to his room.”

Kendall is about to lunge toward the room he knows Logan is in when he’s physically pulled in the other direction by her words.

“He- he wants to see me?”

“He does.”

“Well, is he- is he okay? I’ll go right now.”

“He’s sort of okay? I got him some ice and stayed with him until Shiv got there.” Kendall pauses and looks at her.

“Of course you did,” he says quietly. She’s so good. He holds her hand. “Thank you.”

She squeezes his hand.

“He’s pretty shaken up. But I think he’ll recover.” Kendall looks almost as upset as Roman. She gives him a quick hug. “You should go, take care of him.” He nods.

“Yeah. Okay, yeah, I’m going now.” He walks briskly in the direction of the residences.

Rava watches him go and wishes for freedom for all the siblings. As he disappears behind a corner, she’s approached by a tall man in a suit who taps her on the shoulder.

“Rava. Nice to see you in the wild,” the man says.

“Oh, Joe,” she says. “How’s the case I want back?” she jokes, though they both know she’s serious.

“I’m glad you’re here, figured you’d be attending since the rest of the, uh, family is here,” he laughs a bit and she grins unconvincingly and nods.

“Yes, it’s a great day to have the last name ‘Roy,’” she acknowledges.

“Do you have a few minutes?” Joe asks. “I wanted to update you on the latest from the firm. Things have gotten interesting.”

“Oh? Well, yeah, actually, this is good timing for a few minutes.” Rava follows Joe into a nearby breakout room.

In the next set of buildings, Kendall knocks on his brother’s door.

“Rome? It’s me. Rava said- you wanted me to come.”

Shiv opens the door.

“Hey,” she says mirthlessly. Her expression looks like she’s been to war.

“Hey,” Kendall says, uncertainly giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Everything, uh..?”

“It’s pretty bad. He’s in there.” She indicates the bathroom.

“Should I-?”

“Sure, take a shot,” Shiv answers. She sits on the bed with her head in her hands, taking a moment before she reaches for the snifter of brandy on the nightstand. Kendall will handle her next. He walks into the bathroom and beholds Roman in a cloud of steam from the shower examining his face in the mirror, wrapped in a huge white robe. It’s far too big for him and Kendall could swear he still looks like the scared little kid he used to comfort.

“Hey,” Kendall starts. “Rava told me you- uh-“ He looks more closely at his face in the mirror. “Fuck. Wow. He’s such a piece of shit. Come here, let me see.” Roman reluctantly turns toward Kendall and lets him look.

“It was an accident. Whatever,” Roman tries.

“Rome,” Kendall stops him. He can see that his little brother’s eyes are red. He looks at Roman’s mouth.

“Where’s the-“

Roman gestures to the tooth on the counter. Kendall drags his hands over his face.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” he says.

“Would you stop? I don’t- it’s fine.” Kendall puts his arm around Roman and he lets it happen for a moment.

“Your wife tried this shit too. I said she’s just used to a weaker man who needs it.”

Kendall smiles at him.

“Sure,” he says, allowing the dig. Picturing Rava taking care of Roman in such an awful, lonely moment makes him ache for her. “Rome, you know none of that was okay. I’m gonna go talk to him, I am.”

“Don’t fucking do that. It was nothing.”

“Hey. It wasn’t nothing,” Kendall says gently. Roman seems to relax a few muscles and Kendall leaves his hand on his shoulder. “You okay?” Roman shrugs. “You’re going to be okay.” He looks at Roman’s eyes as he looks away and makes a face. “Yeah?”

“Whatever, yeah.” Roman finally answers. “Yeah. I’m glad you could take time out of your busy schedule of ruining our family’s company to come here,” Roman attempts to spit out.

“Uh huh. Me too.”

“Are you even going to defend yourself?”

“Today? No.”

Roman rolls his eyes.

“Go talk to Shiv. And just- don't talk to Dad today."

Kendall pats his shoulder and nods reluctantly. He walks back out where Shiv is sitting with her knees up leaning back against the headboard with a nearly-empty glass. To him, she’s eight years old again, looking to him to explain why their brother won’t come out of his room.

“Hey,” he sits on the bed near her.

She takes a shallow breath in and stares at the bed.

“It was my fault. So. There you go.”

“Shiv-“ he says.

“No, it was. I said ‘dinosaur cull,’ he hit our brother.”

“It’s never your fault,” he echoes one of his early therapists. “I- I mean, you know that.” He can’t quite help himself. “I might have phrased the- dinosaur thing differently, but- but it doesn’t matter. This?” He gestures toward the bathroom door. “This is not your fault.” She glances at him and back down at the bed, takes a long sip. He leans away from the smell and she puts it down.

“Sorry,” she says, back to avoiding his gaze.

“No, if I could I would. Believe me.” She nods and he reaches for her hand and holds it. “If you don’t want to go to the dinner tonight, you don’t have to.”

“Oh, sure, you would love that,” she says, grabbing a pillow and holding it. “But of course, you have to go, because if you missed a night of bullshit, you might die.”

“Shiv. Come on.” He hates that she’s a little bit right. But he means it when he asks, “Do you want me to stay here? I will.”

She shakes her head.

“No, no. You go. I’ll be there.”

Kendall looks concerned.

“Well- what about-“ he indicates the closed door.

Shiv shrugs.

“I texted Connor. He said he’s going to call him.”

“I mean, sure, Roman’s not going to answer, but-“

Roman walks out of the room on the phone and dramatically shushes them.

“Can you stop talking about me, I’m on a call,” he snaps sarcastically. He walks into the second bedroom of the suite and shuts the French doors loudly.

“You think?” Kendall asks. Shiv raises her eyebrows.

“I guess so!” They sit for a moment of quiet.

“So, back to the shitshow?” Shiv asks. They share a guilty moment of being the ones who love the drama. Kendall nods and sends a text to Connor.

Thanks bro. Back in the city day after tomorrow. Come over for dinner?

Kendall and Shiv walk out of the hallway together into the room full of people, which has quickly started turning into a cocktail party. Kendall looks around for Rava and sees her on the balcony walking out of a breakout room with a man he doesn’t recognize. He nods up at them.

“Hey, who is that?” he asks Shiv.

“Oh, that’s Rava’s side piece. Sorry you had to find out this way,” she teases.

“Uh huh. Okay,” he nods.

“You’re so jealous. You wish you had a relationship like mine,” she tucks her hair behind her ear. Kendall watches as she notices Tom talking to another woman on the other side of the balcony and clocks her disgruntled face.

“Yeah? And how is the perfect marriage going?” he asks. “He tell you what he knew before the article came out?”

She rolls her eyes because she can’t answer that and they walk away from each other.

Kendall climbs the stairs to meet Rava.

“Hey,” he greets her.

She slips her arm around his waist and he dips his head toward her. She makes him want to leave the party and go lie in bed with her watching something funny on tv.

“Hi, baby.” She uses pet names when he might be more anxious than usual. “How’s Roman?” she asks.

“Uh, he’s…” he shakes his head. “I dunno. He seemed okay. He was on the phone with Connor when we left.”

“Are you sure it’s a good idea that you leave him alone?”

“Well, not alone. With Connor, sort of.” Rava raises her eyebrows and he acknowledges that she’s right. “I’ll go check on him before dinner.” He looks up and sees the same man strolling the hall. “Who’s that?”

“It’s Joe from the firm that took Tony Trume’s case! They found a bunch of information. They’ve got management names, company info, they’re working on tracking the company’s history, which is basically impossible, but they’re magicians. I learned so much just from being in there. I think I’m going in their New York office next week.”

“Company history. Gotta be careful when that starts coming out,” Kendall notes.

“Yeah, can’t say I’m hearing great compliments about the Roys tonight,” she says.

He sighs.

“Yeah, and I can’t imagine it’ll get much better at dinner. You good if we-“

“Leave early? My favorite,” Rava smiles.

“Okay,” he chuckles. “Good.”

…..

“Permission to never board?” the comedian calls out.

Stewy looks at Rava and snickers. Rava knows Kendall’s emotional fallout would be worse if she joined in, so she privately gives Stewy an amused look and lets it turn into a grimace at the distasteful joke. Everyone takes a second to look for Logan’s reaction at the next table. Stoic. Unmoved. No one’s surprised.

Shiv leans over to Kendall.

“Did you talk to Roman again?”

“Yeah,” he whispers back. “Well, sort of, he just told me to fuck off so I came here.”

She shrugs.

“Then he’s probably fine,” she says. They look at each other. “But I’ll go back after this is over. I had to come to dinner. Can’t be seen being a bad sport and not showing up,” she says as she straightens her jacket. Just then, Logan gets up from his table and storms out, seemingly following Nan Pierce out the door. Kendall and Shiv turn in their chairs to stare after him.

“Or maybe you can be a bad sport. What the fuck?” Shiv whispers. Suddenly she realizes their conspiratorial camaraderie is not appropriate. “Actually- no. You know what? We are not talking about this. Why are you even at this table?”

“Why are you at my table?” Kendall counters. “I don’t see you being invited to that one.” He gestures to the one Logan had left.

“Fuck you, I wasn’t even supposed to go to this stupid thing.”

“Kind of making my point,” he says. She looks away from him. “Shivvy, you’ll join my side eventually,” Kendall grins.

She gives him a look and turns her attention back to the comedian, who has finally moved on to others.

Once the performance has wound down, Rava looks questioningly at Kendall and he nods. They get up to go and say their goodbyes to everyone at the table. Stewy rolls his eyes dramatically.

“Ugghhh, you’re going to bed at- what is it, like ten o’clock? Drink three? Rava, can you make him stop being so fucking boring?”

“Can I make you stop pretending you’re twenty-two?” she asks playfully.

“Age is just a number. On a bank account in Geneva.” He gestures to the server that he wants another drink. A voice pops up behind Stewy.

“Yeahhh, I thought only women had ages.” Roman gives everyone a confused look as he sits down at the table. “Men just have bank accounts that get bigger. Right, Shiv?”

She smiles for a millisecond before it turns to a scowl.

“Look how delighted she is to see me.”

Kendall relaxes a little and doesn’t see Gerri’s long concerned look at Roman from Logan’s table.

“Glad you’re here, bro,” Kendall says. He looks at Rava hesitatingly. She nods graciously and sits back down. He scoots his chair closer to hers.

“Are you kidding?” Roman says loudly enough to be heard at the next table. “Wouldn’t miss this shit-fest. Someone just texted me that Dad and Nan are yelling at each other outside. I heard it was a must-see event.” Gerri takes a sip of her martini as she stands up.

Kendall tries not to smile at the welcome news of their argument, but he knows what that means. He glances down at his phone and opens a text from Connor.

Roman’s doing all right. And yes. I’ll come to dinner.

Rava taps him to look up for a second as Gerri walks by with Frank, now deep in conversation. Kendall leans toward them to try to eavesdrop. He only catches a few words from Gerri’s forceful whisper, but they’re enough.

“…Logan… losing it?”

#tern haven is in here too! but as Kendall says it doesn't make any sense for him to be there so he's not #I really tried to pretzel that in my mind but he needed not to be here for this chapter's plot anyway SO mostly chaos at Argestes!!#kendall roy fic #kendall roy #succession #kendall x rava #this is more popular on ao3 I promise #rava roy #kenrava #argestes #tern haven #fix-it fic #roman roy #stewy hosseini #frank vernon

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roving-boi · 1 year

Text

Well, should I start this off with dear diary? I guess maybe so

I really love having a physical diary, I have a notebook I didn’t finish, but uh.. I dunno I just thought I should make the switch to having a digital diary. I guess it’s easier to write in.

So, I was just like, let’s make a little blog for myself huh? Tumblr it is I guess. Oh, there’s lots of great posts on here too I can save so that’s also nice. I also can have cute pink text on my entires and posts. So I think this will be a nice home for my thoughts and whatever.

I’m kind of stressed out right now. It’s currently 10 pm as I write this, I’m about to get ready to hit the hay, but tomorrow is Friday. Okay, yay, Friday.. what’s so stressful and scary about Friday? Well, next week is exams.. and that means my deadlines for all my classes are closing in on me. I have a lot of math assignments missing and I got until tues day to get ‘em in. Tomorrow I’m gonna have to squeeze in whatever time I can go get some of it done.

Then.. after exams is Christmas time. Woo.. right? Well that’s also stressful because my dad bought Christmas lights, we haven’t even put ‘em up yet and I’m just dreading the day he’s gonna be like ok let’s go put those up. He always has me do that in the freezing cold and we usually are outside for a few hours. Aside from that, I have no idea what I’m going to get for Christmas. I have the feeling something’s gonna go wrong :( but let’s just hope I make it to the new year. My birthday is in a few months. Im turning the big 18.

I would be graduating school after my birthday.. but I got held back. So I have to endure another year. I just want it to be over. I hate school so much. Id honestly rather work a job. At least I’d get paid for that.

Anyways, im gonna wrap this up. Get some sleep.. maybe update later.. I always have things to talk about haha.

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ch4nb4ng · 3 years

Text

A Helping Hand

Pairing: Changbin x afab!reader

Genre: College friends to lovers

Warning: Make out, fiingering (f. receiving), praise, corruption, inexperienced reader, orgasm (f), mentions of bulge

Word Count: 3.7k (shorter than usual thank god)

Summary: Changbin just wants to be the good best friend he is. Help you out in any dire situation. But what happens when your request is a little more explicit than usual?

Tagged: @ofsake and @ghazalestay , hope you enjoy!!

“Okay let’s do a couple of more questions and then finish for the night please.”

You nodded, already feeling your brain fatigue starting to take over. The mid-term was approaching soon, very soon, but your study efforts were more than adequate. You felt like at this point your sole purpose in life was to ace this algebra exam, so by now, at 11pm two weeks before, studying almost 10 hours a day; being stressed and exhausted was an understatement.

“Sure thing,” Changbin smiled, taking note of your energy drop since the beginning of your study session. His concern grew greatly, clouding his mind the longer he studied your face. He decided at that very moment that it was more than enough to end the work for the day. Joining in the lazy slouching on the other side of your double bed he sighed, fixated on how puffy your under eyes looked, most likely from a lack of sleep, and overdoing of preparation.

“Y/n,” he whispered, sitting up and tapping you on the shoulder lightly, “are you okay?”

“What? Oh, yeah I’m fine,” you shrugged, both hands on your face, “just have a lot of things on my mind.”

You stood up abruptly walking into your wardrobe, which was out of view from Changbin, discarding the uncomfortable shirt you previously had on, unclasping your bra and replacing it with a rather oversized hoodie. You sighed in relief, finally free from the shackles of pain and inconvenience that came with wearing such undergarments.

“I’m really looking forward to the party at Chan’s house tomorrow. Get my mind off of homework for a couple of hours.”

“Sure you’re excited,” Changbin scoffed, “Hyunjin is going to be there.”

The name made you roll your eyes hard, slamming your wardrobe door shut, giving your best friend a very cruel death glare of disdain.

“Are you still going on about this? We hooked up one time, one time!”

“Okay but,” Changbin sighed, “you were talking about him before that. If I knew any better, you might actually like this dude.”

You sat on the edge of the bed, completely unfazed by his bold assumption. You were extremely comfortable having such conversations with Changbin, knowing very well that there was no cover he had to hide, no under the surface feelings that he was eager to expose, but couldn’t. He was a very honest person, and very easy to read; exactly like an open book.

“I mean I guess I did,” you drifted off, “but after we hooked up, we, well I. It just wasn’t what I thought it was going to be.”

“Ahh,” Changbin nodded, “I understand what you mean.”

“Yeah, which is why I’m going abstinent for now. Swearing off any and all men until I can find one that actually satisfies me.”

Both pairs of eyes in the room grew wide simultaneously, but for different reasons. Yours being that you admitted a humiliating secret, and Changbin was not an idiot and can read between the lines of such implications. His reason being because he wasn’t sure if what he heard was accurate.

“Y/n, did you say what I think you just said?”

“Uh,” you paused, grabbing the pillow closest to you, covering your now heated complexion, “maybe.”

“I’m being serious,” he chuckled, grabbing the pillow and putting it next to him, “it makes me feel bad. Was he really that bad? They all were?”

“I mean,” you shrugged, “they finished, they had a good time. I think it’s just me. I can’t even do it when I’m..”

“When you’re?”

“You know,” you paused, begging for his ability to read between the lines to come back. He smirked, knowing exactly what you meant.

“No I don't-”

“When I'm by myself, alright!” you screamed, hitting him with another pillow, “why do you make me drag it out!”

The embarrassment was too much, pillow creeping back to your face, feet kicking as he burst into a fit of laughter. He loved to make fun of you, which was fair considering the usual dynamic was to make fun of Changbin on a daily basis.

“Y/n relax,” he shouted, trying to get over his laughter, “it’s not a big deal.”

Your feet came to a still, sitting up quickly and looking at Changbin’s face to see if he was fucking with you or not.

“It’s not?”

“Yes,” he chuckled, “guys can be mediocre, I’ve heard other girls say that. Not the ones I have been with of course.”

“Dude!” Your scream was loud as you started to punch him across the chest in a repetitive manner. His laughter increased in sound again, making no effort to stop your brutal force, knowing very well that he deserved it.

“Okay okay,” he yelped, grabbing his stomach in pain from the amount of laughter he had just incurred, “you’re right I deserve that, it was bad timing.”

“Yes you did!”

The noise had reduced, a comfortable silence falling over the room as you looked at the floor. That, however, was when your mind started to dance. He said he was supposedly ‘good with other girls.’ Maybe he could do the same thing for you? Just for help of course, educational purposes only; nothing more. He looked over at you, identifying your eyebrows furrowed in curious thought.

“What are you thinking about now?”

“Oh uhm, nothing,” you gasped, his voice interrupting your suggestive thoughts, “we are best friends, right?”

“Of course Y/n,” he smiled, placing a hand on your knee. Now all of a sudden his touch began to burn, searing a patronising flame across your stomach.

“Would you do anything for me?”

“Do you even have to ask that?”

“Touche,” you huffed, working up the courage to ask such a question. This could be a dangerous question that could go two ways; one: he would get weirded out and leave, making your friendship awkward, or two: he would agree and you would end up having sex with your best friend. Both ideas weren't great, but the latter seemed to be the lesser of the two evils. How you got yourself in this predicament was baffling. Nevertheless, you were desperate. Staying abstinent from men wasn’t something you really wanted to do. Changbin, objectively, was a good looking guy, totally someone you would go for if he was a complete stranger. On the other hand, he wasn’t a stranger, in fact, he was the closest thing you had to anybody here at college. This could change everything, and not in the way you wanted it to.

“Could you maybe, uhm,” you paused, panic beginning to surge through your body, regretting the last 3 words you spoke, “uhm, forget about it.”

“Y/n come on you can’t do that,'' he whined, grabbing your hands, “you can ask me anything, okay?”

You looked up at him, admiring the care he had in his eyes when you were nervous.

“Okay fine, but promise you won’t laugh?”

“Promise.”

“Okay,” you paused, reluctantly shoving your nerves down your throat, “can you help me out with, well, you know?”

“With?”

“Please don’t make me spell it out again, this is embarrassing and pathetic enough as it is.”

His facial expression of confusion soon became one of realisation, mouth opening wide and eyes practically boggling out of his head once he became aware of what you were asking of him. He would be lying if he said that he didn’t like the idea. Himself being the first one to give you your orgasm, corrupt you with that impending feeling that rushed all over your body, the one that happened to know so well.

“Sure.”

Your very tightly shut eyes opened, his nonchalant attitude having you in complete disbelief. The fact that he was being very calm about this situation terrified you more than the act itself. He moved closer to you, a hand of reassurance coming into contact with your own concerned one.

“What?”

“I mean,” Changbin replied, “if you trust me, I’m more than happy to.”

“Oh,” you whispered, afraid your voice would crack if you spoke any louder, “are you sure? I don’t want things to be weird after.”

“Y/n, they’re not going to be,” he sighed jokingly, “Think of it as a helping hand. You’re in stress and dire need of saving, and I-”

“Stop,” You yelled at him, gently punching him again, “this is already embarrassing enough as it is.”

He chuckled again, moving closer to you in order to get the ball rolling. You froze for a moment; this was really happening. You reciprocated his actions, inching closer and closer, lips aching to be touched the smaller the distance became. He brought a hand to the side of your neck, eyes casting backup to yours, waiting for any sign to continue.

“Are you sure,” you whispered, feeling the breath from his slightly parted lips begin to tickle your own, “we don’t have to-”

“Shhh,” he purred, face basically closing any remaining space from you, “I told you, I really, really want to.”

He peered down at your lips, biting down on his own, before bringing them back to your eyes, then your lips again. He was playing games with himself, toying with you to an even greater extent the longer he let his eyes roam. He was in no rush, planning for the thrill of it all to increase the arousal that you soon would feel when his lips travelled to other places on your body that weren’t on your face.

It was, however, working very well. You felt the temperature of your skin become flush, mouth increasing in salivation the longer he bore into you, like a very well done magic trick completed by a well-trained magician. A witch, mixing a potion, lust and adventure leading the pack of ingredients. Everything you thought you knew about him had changed within a mere couple of seconds. The sweet boy next door energy that he tended to radiate was dissipating rapidly. The devil of corruption hijacked his body, eyes changing to the dark colour, spilling and taking you with him.

“Just say the words,” he whispered, letting them fall naturally off of the tip of his tongue as it stuck itself behind his top teeth, “and I’m going to guarantee that I’ll have you cumming so hard, the only name you’ll remember is mine.”

His dominant demeanor made you give up completely, and hesitation that previously clouded your mind was now non-existent. You gave one last push, making yourself the one to finally connect your lips together. It started very slowly, hands on Changbin’s wrists that stayed connected to your neck, tongues moving with rhythm against each other, but the grandiosity of it all quickened with little time. The passion of such a sensual kiss was increasing with anticipation, heads moving with much more vigour, hands beginning to aimlessly roam across corresponding bodies. You moaned against his lips, causing him to break away from you. Chests heaving in syncronisity, Changbin looked up at you, immediately scanning your features to identify any regret or doubts about what just happened.

“Wow,” you panted, still quite out of breath.

“Was that okay?”

“Yes,” you gasped, whisking one leg over and sitting on top of him, “really good.”

Changbin chuckled, arms now wrapped around his neck as a hint to keep going. He was the one that pushed forward this time, reattaching his lips, hands scurrying down to your hips, thumbs pressing light squeezes against the softness of your jumper, hard enough to be felt through on your waist. You took it as your own provoking sign, gently rocking yourself against him.

He gasped into your mouth, causing you to chuckle as you broke away. You looked down at his face, the filthy smirk that appeared on your face was already sending you into another dimension. He was so smug, truly enjoying the way you were enjoying yourself. The shorts of thin material were something you thanked yourself for wearing, easily experiencing the dragging of your core against his quickly forming bulge. You bit down on your lip, suppressing any sounds of pleasure that wanted to escape from your throat. You did not want to give him such satisfaction; yet.

“Come on,” he spoke, tone breathy as he continued, “let it out.”

The way he read your mind terrified you, but it didn’t stop you from letting out the soft groans and moans you wanted to previously share the harder you grinded against him. You were starting to feel it already, the pulsating of your clit becoming immense. Changbin had barely touched you, yet you were already greatly aroused by him than any other man that you had shared such experiences with prior.

“Okay, okay,” Changbin huffed, lifting you up and thawing you on your back, “enough of that, or I’m going to get too worked up.”

You giggled at his words, your knowledge of how dirty your best friend could be quite unknown. He laid next to you, fingertips roaming around your still very clothed body. He looked up at you, a very certain look with his eyes, asking for permission to discard the obstacles: your clothing. You nodded, sitting up against the wall and lifting your arms up. You thanked yourself mentally for not wearing anything underneath, Changbin’s nasty smirk returning back to his lips. He immediately reached for your breasts, palms covering your nipples entirely as his fingers searched for the maximum amount of surface area they could reach, applying a few gentle squeezes.

You were beginning to melt into this touch, the contrast of his cool, icy palms dissolving heat burning from the warm flesh. His fingers, however, took no time in finding their aim, effortlessly forming around your sensitive buds, rolling back and forth between the naught digits.

“Ah,” you gasped, back arching into his touch, “fuck, Changbin.”

“So good,” he groaned, lowering his lips to your chest, “so breathy for me, you are.”

His swollen lips began to nip at your extremely hardened nipples, relishing in how easily your body anticipated him. His hands began to travel again, down the curve of your stomach, pushing past where you throbbed for him, barely scraping the inside of your thighs. Your legs jolted in the slightest, silent beginning for Changbin to put his fingers right in between his legs, right where you wanted to beg him to touch you.

“Tell me,” he whispered, eyes doey as he looked up at you in your semi-dishevelled state, “what do you want from me?”

“Touch me,” you blurted out, head already so dizzy from his pristine ways of making you feel oh so satisfied, “here.”

You wrapped your fingers around his wrist, dragging his strong palms away from your thighs, and right to your heat. Changbin quickly caught the gist, closing his fingers except for his middle and index finger, dusting them over your clothed centre in a very anti-climatic, playful fashion. Eyes fixated on your pussy, he groaned, identifying the already wet patch that was forming through your thin layered shorts. Changbin felt like he was in heaven. The way your body reacted to him so eager. The cute little woman he saw as his best friend. He never imagined that you could be so sensitive, so needy, so fucking responsive to the smallest of touches. He truly never pictured you to be the type.

Your hips began to move in sync with his digits, creating a gentle friction that wasn’t too overwhelming, yet not enough simultaneously. You were enjoying yourself so much, your chest becoming shallow from the small pants you took with each breath. He was enjoying teasing you, at first. But his mind was truly starting to go haywire, wanting to do everything in his power to turn your world upside down. His sex-crazed, mind fucked alter ego was arriving, and the longer he didn’t have bare contact with your heat, the hungrier he became for you.

“More Changbin,” you whined, pushing the fabric away from you, “I want more.”

All he could do was comply, helping you remove both layers momentarily. He gasped, almost fainting at how pretty your pussy was to him.

“Fuck,” he groaned, spreading your lips apart, “look how wet you are already.”

You buried your head in his chest, completely embarrassed. His dirty words made you want to hide. Nothing ever so vulgar or of such erotic nature had spilled from Changbin’s mouth in your entire history of friendship. Seeing him as the not so innocent boy you thought he was contributed to the fast, increasing arousal in your body, adrenaline surging like no tomorrow.

“Mhm,” was the only coherent sound you managed to put together. His fingers began to go to work, striking a fierce line up along your clit, causing your hips to jolt, viciously. The reaction made him smirk. He wanted to admit that he liked having so much power over you, making you so sensitive with the simplest of touches. “How does that feel?”

“So, so good,” you moaned, whimpering as he took his fingers away, “Changbin.”

“Open your mouth,” he hissed, prodding his already coated fingers at your lips, “come on baby, open them.”

You complied enthusiastically, grabbing Changbin’s wrist and shoving it into your mouth, fixing your eyes on his facial expressions as you took his fingers, easily able to taste yourself already. You could see his jaw tense up, eyes going slightly foggy at how eager you took his fingers. There was a determination being stirred within you. Yes, the focus was meant to be on you and how good you feel, but you couldn't help it. There was a disturbing tornado that was cycling, needing Changbin to know how much you wanted him, and how much power you could have to to simulate the similar dire effect. It had become a war in your mind, a war that you did not want to lose.

“Jesus,” Changbin gasped, popping his fingers away from your mouth, “you’re so good at that.”

He spent no time awaiting for your response, straight away, slithering the wet digits down the center of your body, past your breasts, down your stomach, and right back to where your body was calling for him the most.

He was still taking it very slow, tantalizing your senses as he gently rubbed your clit in circular motions. It truly made you speechless; nothing had ever felt this good. Your lids already struggling to stay open, legs following in similar fashion as he began to increase his pace, dragging his fingers from your hole, lathering your own pathetic juices across your pussy.

“Fuck Changbin,” you hissed, unsure of the words that were about to spill from your lips, “more, I need more.”

“You want more?”

“Please,” you moaned, bucking your hips against his fingers, “fuck me, please.”

His eyes widened, caught off guard by your vulgar request. It didn’t mean that he did not like it however. If anything, it turned him on even more. He moved closer to you, spreading his lights slightly, right leg under your left leg, allowing his hard on to breathe, subtly creating some friction to relieve his own strains that were becoming more prominent the longer this went on.You took no notice as his fingers went on the prowl once more, slithering down to your entrance, a finger plunging and burying completely inside of you. Eyes springing open, you jumped forward, feeling’s Changbin’s free hand brung your back down from what felt like space as he gently pinned you to the bed, curling his fingers and earning multiple moans from you.

“Right there,” you groaned, burying your face in his chest, “right there Changbin, it feels so good.”

He chuckled at your vulnerability, quickening his pace the more frequent the incoherent phrases that were coming from your mouth.

“Good girl y/n,” Changbin growled, fixated on the way you squirmed, hips unable to stay in one spot, “feels good, doesn’t it?”

He took his other hand in his mouth, spitting and sucking on them as hard as he could before reaching down and flicking your clit back and forth, a high pitched squeal escaping your lips as he found his rhythm between finger tips. The pleasure was becoming overwhelming, breaths becoming extremely heavy as he fuck you with his fingers. The muscles in your legs were beginning to seize up. A tight feeling began to form in your stomach, growing in strength and tension the more pressure Changbin applied to your dripping cunt.

“Oh my god,” you whined, desperately bucking your hips to chase the intense feeling of pleasure coursing through your body, “t-too g-good.”

“Can you feel it baby?” His voice was soft, sympathising how fucked out you were. “Can you feel it in the pit of your stomach?”

“Mhm.”

“Getting tighter and tighter?”

“Yes,” you cried out, “I can’t, I can’t take it.”

“Are you going to cum pretty girl?” He whined, mimicking the desperation of your tone, “You want to cum all over my fingers?”

“Please,” you moaned, “please Changbin, I want to cum.”

“You wanna cum?”

“Please.”

“You asked so nicely, how could I say no?”

Your jaw dropped to the floor as this foreign feeling overwhelmed your body, starting at your core and spreading all over. Body collapsing, you screamed, covering your mouth as Changbin kept his pace, your hips unable to adjust to the extraordinary gratification he inflicted on you.

“That’s it,” he whispered, voice low with seduction, “let yourself go. Feel every bit of me inside of you.”

Another high pitched moan escaped your lips, grabbing Changbin’s wrist for him to stop.

“Please,” you whimpered, “stop.”

“Okay okay,”he chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. He smiled as he pulled away, almost laughing at how flabbergasted you looked. You looked away as soon as you felt his gaze fixated on you. It still had not hit what had just happened. You became embarrassed, seeming so pathetic in front of him, submitting to him that easily; he coil read you like a book. He took the hands away from your eyes, concerned that you would be hiding regret.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you whispered, “well, really good actually.”

“Good,” he smirked, “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

#stray kids #stray kids fic #stray kids smut #stray kids scenario #changbin #changbin smut #changbin fic #changbin imagine #changbin scenario #changbin x reader #seo changbin #seo changbin fic #seo changbin imagine #seo changbin scenario #seo changbin x reader #stray kids imagine

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tipsydipsydo · 3 years

Text

The laundry hamper [M]

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Gender of the Reader: female

Word Count: 2.2k

Rating: 18+

Genre: Smut

AU: College AU!; Roommates2Lovers AU!; Friends2Lovers! AU

Warnings: Dirty Language + slight Dirty Talk; sweet and shy but naughty Jungkookie; Mentions of Masturbation in the shower; Scent/Smelling-Kink; Panty-Sniffing; Masturbation; slight Voyeurism; Teasing; Petnames; soft sub! Jungkook & dom! Reader undertones; Mentions of mutual Masturbation; Mentions of 69-Position

Summary: Jungkook has a crush on you since you moved together for college but the poor boy is way too shy to confess his feelings to you... rather he would search through your laundry hamper to get a shirt which smells after your very personal scent and tries to calm his racing heart... and other nerves. He didn’t thought to get catched by the person who already stole his whole heart in the most embarrassing situation...

A/N: Happy first year friendship anniversary with my dearest @borathae!! I love you to death my sweetheart and I thought today would be the perfect occasion to finally finish this Oneshot I started 10 months ago and waited to get finished until today on my IPad... especially because you was the person who gave me the inspiration to write this idea... I hope you like it!!

Status: halfway edited bc I was stressed I wouldn’t finish it on right time-

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「© tipsydipsydo」

This following story is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!

I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!

That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.

Thank you.

He knows it's bad and that he shouldn't do it. Well... honestly, already before this thought, which is haunting him since two weeks, he wasn't any kind of "well mannered" anymore. ...before you apologized for taking so much space with your shower untensils in the shower basket and then decided, to take your Shampoo, Conditioner and Bodylotion to your room.

The thing you didn't know was that you took with this decision, Jungkook's one and only opportunity to properly jerk off, with you.

Why?

God, just when the poor boy thinks about it... the thought alone gives him a rosy-red blush all over his cheeks, which almost reachs his ears and leave him completely flustered and ashamed.

How to explain it... your quiet, adorably awkward and super shy roommate, who has a crush on you since two years (or even longer!) tend to use your hair shampoo as a little "fantasy kick". How could he resist the opportunity to smell something so familiar which reminds him of you, so close?

How he used it you ask yourself?

While he was showering, he sniffed on the opened lid of the shampoo bottle like a fucking dog in his rut and jerked off to the smell of English Wild Roses. Yeah, even Jungkook himself is absolutely sure that he reached a whole new level of freakiness. Who else jack themself off while sniffing on a damn hair shampoo bottle?!

Jungkook has simply a thing for scents... especially for everything that smells like you. Whenever something of you comes in contact with his nostrils, he immediately pops a boner.

Really, it's not funny anymore when you feel that your dick is going hard just from getting a whiff of your crush's parfum when they're passing by.

Anyway, not your parfum or shower utensils are giving Jungkook a problem now, it's much more your laundry hamper which suddenly developts a really strong seductive affect on him.

Both of you having a seperate laundry hamper in the shared bathroom and also a laudry bag in your room. It's easier to have these two opportunities to put your laundry than walking always with an arm full of dirty clothes through the whole apartement.

Especially when friends of the other person are over and a pair of Kook's boxer briefs or one of your bra's found their way to the floor, unnoticed. Okay, 'unnoticed' as long as one of your friends are yelling that there is dirty underwear in the hallway. Of course not without dropping some stupid and teasing comments.

Yeah, it's really better for Jungkook's and your own peace to have a laundry bag in your room and a laundry hamper in the bathroom. Even when Kookie wouldn't mind it at all to be the one who would've found your lingerie...

...and that's the point. Since this one incidence with your dessous, Jungkook is haunted by countless absolutely filthy and indecent thoughts. At first he was still able to control them and to shove them away into the last corner of his mind. But after you took your shower stuff with you to your room, these fantasies returned really, really fast and his interest in your laundry hamper grew endlessly.

It absolutely didn't help that he pretty aware of the fact that you showered just a half an hour ago.

You made yourself ready to go to the movies with some of your friends. That means, he would be completely alone for the next few hours with the clothes you've worn before and are now own your very personal scent. How the hell should he survive this silently for him screaming seduction?!

Okay, okay, even when he'd took something off your hamper... just as a hypothetisch thought... it would be definitely only something completely innocent, like a shirt or something else. Really, he just loves to smell your wonderful personal scent. It's calming his wild racing heart... and in some way his unsatisfied desires as well.

Once again he takes a glimpse through the slightly opened bathroom door into the hallway which leads to the front door. Everything is silent, he is indeed completely alone in the apartement.

Now or never. Maybe he should take one of your worn out T-Shirts you always wear for house chores and isn't one of your favourite piece of clothing anymore. Maybe then you wouldn't notice that's even gone... for a longer time.

He shouldn't debate any longer before he reverses his opinion and pull back... he would slap himself if he'd let such an opportunity slip through his fingers unused...

As soon as he opens the lid of your laundry hamper, all his 'good and pure resolutions' are thrown out of the next bathroom window. Hebshould have guessed it, he should have known it... that your underwear is the last thing you take of your body before showering. Well, in conclusion, your panties are the first piece of cloth which is greeting Jungkook's eyes.

He's gulping harshly. Fuck, his brain knows that what he's doing here is bad and dirty, that he shouldn't do it... but his body and especially his dick is literally screaming and begging him to reach out for exactly this piece of lingerie.

Those tiny little wheels starts turning in Jungkook's head when he scans through your latest outfit. He remembers which Sweater and Sweatpants you wore. How could he forget those cute socks with this adorable avocado print on them.

...but no Bra.

Fuck... Jungkook can't explain himself why he finds the thought of you, being so comfortable in your shared apartement and around him, that you decided to not wear a bra underneath and let your tits bounce around freely, so god damn attractive...

Before he even realized it, his greedy hand took your used panties already out of the laundry hamper and lets the soft fabric slip through his fingertips.

It's a plain black cotton panty with a lacey border which has a beautiful flower pattern. Others would say it's boring, unspectacular underwear but for Jungkook it's already beautiful and beyond belief sexy lingerie. To imagine that you walk casually around in those panties everyday... Jungkook feels how his dick is already leaking precum in his boxer briefs.

With every second he holds this pair of panties in his hands, his poor, needy cocks hardens even more in his grey sweats. He gulps again. He shouldn't do it... but your panties are tempting him and his short patience.

Before he can control what he's doing, his nose is already buried in this piece of cloth and takes a deep breath.

If his other hand wouldn't already disappeared beneath his waist band and squeezed the base of his cock, he would've already blown his load right here in his sweats.

He's panting, his breath fast and ragged, trying to take as much as possible of your intoxicating scent into his lungs when he yanks his sweatpants down to his knees and lays his hand in a firm grip around his red, swollen and angrily leaking cock. He's literally dripping, so it doesn't take long until his whole palm is lubed thoroughly with his own precum.

Jungkook's mind is clouded, he can't built any proper thought anymore, your delicious smell makes him salivating and he knows, he feels it in every fiber of his body, that he already got addicted to the smell of your panties... your pussy.

He can't believe that you smell so good, like that fucking good that he almost blew his load already in his pants. Untouched.

His mind is spiralling, dirty thoughts get exceeded by even more filthier ones, every secret and forbidden fantasies which he hold under control for so, so long are crashing down on him.

God, what would he do to be the lucky person who gets you on top of him, queening him, his whole face buried into your pussy, your juices smearing all over his chin and cheeks and getting a good whiff of your perfect cunt first hand. He would happily die between your legs, suffocated by your thighs which you would've squeeze so tightly around his head that it would literally crushed him. He would die as the happiest man in the whole universe.

To imagine how you'd whine, whimper and growl at him... praising him for doing so good, pleasuring you so well, tugging at his locks because you can barely handle the pleasure you receive from his tongue and lips...

His fist goes faster and faster, his wrist will hurt so bad in the exam tomorrow... but that's Jungkook tiniest problem right now, he needs to cum so fucking bad, his balls are already hard and tight, feeling like they would burst if he wouldn't cum and time soon.

"Tz, tz, tz... what do we have here? I didn't thought you'd be such a naughty boy as someone who's so sweet and shy, Jungkook... sniffing your roommates panties and jerking off to them...", you snicker and smirk, even though bis back is still facing you. The later flinchs noticeably and lets a surprised and equally terrified yelp out, almost jumping around to you.

He's trying to save to situation and his pride, throwing your panties back into your open laundry hamper and pulling his pants up as quick as possible.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod, I am so, so, so, so sorry, it will never happen again, I am so sorry that you have such a disgusting roommate like me, I am so sorry, I didn't knew you'd come back so early again- oh fuck... I am so sorry, I am a disaster", Jungkook chokes out in a trembling voice and glassy eyes, a tiny little sob leaves him as well. He is truly ashamed and mortified to death.

Your heart breaks when you look at him, he looks so sorry and embarrassed, he couldn't look at himself in the mirror again. Slowly you start to shake your head 'no'.

"Oh Jungkookie, I didn't mean to shame you... I... I just was a little surprised to catch you here in the bathroom... having a little fun time with yourself... I realized halfway to the cinema that I forgot my wallet and I came back to get it... then I saw you and just wanted to tease you a little bit... ah shit- I think I just messed the things up as well... okay okay, stupid question from a stupid person who has a big, fat crush on you since months, if not even years... wouldyoumindmetohelpyoutocum?", you ramble nervously, now are your cheeks equally beet-red.

Jungkook's eyes shoot up to your face, your red cheeks, your big, questioning eyes and your lip biting is sending a new rush of exitement down to his softening cock, making him harden all over again.

"W-What? ...what?? You- you too? I-I am crushing on you since we moved in together and now you're telling me that you- ...oh my god, yes... yes... yes please... please help me. I am so needy and horny right now and your pant- you always smelled so good and it's driving me crazy... I am so horny for you, Y/N."

Jungkook couldn't control his blabbering mouth anymore, everything is just blurting out of him with such a force like the Niagara Waterfall.

You sigh in relieve and a bright smile is forming on your lips as you walk over to your crush and lay both of your hands on his cute and round cheeks, so you can look each other into the eyes.

"Jungkook, I would like to ask you if you're comfortable with the thought of me kissing you before I will... devour you?"

Just to hear the two words 'devour you' out of your mouth made his knees almost buckle. His head is moving by itself, nodding vehemently. But to his confusion you're shaking your head no.

"Babyboy, I need your verbal confirmation. Consent is key, alright?", you say in a gently yet firm voice.

Oh God, you'll be his death... calling him 'Babyboy' alone made a whimper slips past his lips which is why you hum very appreciately.

"Oh God, yes, yes, yes... please... please kiss me and devour me, Mistress- ugh, s-sorry, I- I didn't mean to say that", Jungkook coughs out all flustered again, don't dare to look you in the face.

Such a good, perfect babyboy he is already for you.

"Don't be shy, Baby... I like the title you gave me. When you like it, you can continue to address me with 'Mistress'. ...what about we change our location to your or my bedroom? I'd love to let you smell and taste my pussy... not just through worn fabric. I would take great care of your aching cock... I saw how swollen, red and leaking it was already. What about you eat me out while I take your cock into my mouth and jerk you off with the panties I wear right now. Hm, sounds good?

Jungkook's head is already spinning again when your lips finally meet, your mouth and tongue already taking the control over him and devouring him.

Yes, you'll be definitely the death for him.

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hxseok-honee · 3 years

Text

sundress || part 23

written portion under the cut!

sundress [part 23] || say it back

previous || masterlist || next

a/n : [you always end up stickin’ to me // somehow, somehow] stuck with me x the neighbourhood

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_________________________________

Wednesday, 01 December, 7:16pm

“How’d you get in?” Y/n’s standing in the doorway to her bedroom, peeking her head out and seeing that Yoongi’s almost at the top of the stairs. He’d texted her that he was here, but by the time she’d found her slippers, he was already inside Gryffindor Tower.

“Some first year let me in… I think he was scared shitless by the fact that I’m a Slytherin and on the brink of death.” He’s not wrong -- the closer Yoongi gets to her door, the more she can tell how out of it he is. He looks pale, dark circles sitting under his eyes like bruises. Dragging his feet, he’s holding back a yawn as he finally comes to a stop in front of her.

“You studied hard today.” It’s a simple observation, made mostly on the basis of how heavy his bag looks, filled with textbooks and notes he’d probably had to beg Jin for. Yoongi only nods, finally letting out the yawn he’s been fighting.

“Who knew you actually had to do work in order to pass your classes?” He gets like this every finals season, cramming and pulling all-nighters to make up for his absolute hatred of consistent studying. Y/n had long stopped scolding him for it, only leaving him to sleep undisturbed for the first few days of winter break once all the exams were over.

With a smile of comfort, Y/n reaches for him, taking one of his hands in both of hers and pulling him with her into her room. Before he can step fully inside, however, he’s putting his other hand on the door frame to stop himself, shaking his head. She shoots him a look of confusion.

“You’re not coming in?”

He shakes his head again, stepping back to stand safely outside in the little corridor. Y/n moves toward him, confusion written all over her face. Yoongi grins fondly at her.

“It’s better if I don’t.” Y/n knows what he’s trying to say -- that he’ll only distract her from studying and would rather leave her to do her work in peace. She appreciates how considerate he’s being, but it doesn’t mean she’s not a little disgruntled.

“But you came in last night.”

“Yeah, I did. And this morning you were scrambling to do last minute review.”

“I would have done that whether or not you’d stayed.” She’s lying, and they both know it. Yoongi’s well-aware of Y/n’s meticulously planned study schedule. He knows how flustered she gets when she doesn’t stick to it, but he’d been unable to resist her invitation to stay the night after a whole day of cramming for his own exams. He’d missed her so much yesterday -- just as much as the day before and just as much as today -- so he’d given in, thinking of nothing but being able to hold her while he slept.

But when he’d seen how crazed she’d been this morning, pacing her room frantically while she’d tried to absorb the information in her notes, he couldn’t help but feel guilty that she’d stopped studying last night to come to bed. So he’d spent the day building his mental strength, reminding himself again and again that he couldn’t say yes to her tonight. No matter how much he wants to.

“I promised myself I’d let you study.”

Y/n pouts when he says it, and it takes all of Yoongi’s self-control not to step into her room and agree to stay the night again, if only to put a smile on her face.

“But I finished all the important finals today. Yesterday was my Herbology thing, and today I had Transfiguration, and those were the hardest ones. I just have Potions tomorrow, which won’t be too bad -- and we have Charms on Friday, so we have to study for it together, anyway!” She’s searching for excuses at this point -- they’d already agreed to study for Charms tomorrow night, so there’s no reason Yoongi won’t see right through her flimsy arguments. But she can’t help wanting to keep him here.

Even though she’d admittedly been a bit stressed this morning about her exam, all day she’d only regretted not being able to stay in bed with him longer. He’d looked so pretty sleeping peacefully in her bed and equally pretty when he’d woken up confused and frazzled that she was across the room instead of next to him. If she’s honest, he’s all she’s thought about today.

Yoongi tilts his head and eyes her while she tries to come up with a reason for him to stay, his chest swelling in endearment.

“The last two days, you were totally fine and I was the mess -- what’s up with you? Did you miss me or something?”

She nods right away, not even bothering to hide it anymore.

“Yeah, I did -- so you should stay.” She feels her face warm when Yoongi snickers, clearly amused by how forward she’s being.

“You know I can’t — but I’ll stay tomorrow night when we study. How’s that?”

Y/n sighs, nodding because she knows he’s right, that she won’t finish studying tonight if he walks through that door. But then she shoots him a look, because he’d walked all the way up the stairs from the library to her room just to not stay, and Min Yoongi is fundamentally opposed to unnecessary physical exercise.

“Why’d you come all the way up here, then? Just to say hi?”

Yoongi snorts, nodding as he steps in close to her.

“To say hi… and to get this.” Leaning in, he sets his lips on hers, inhaling deeply because he’d really needed this today. When she snakes her arms up and around his neck, he smiles, only angling his head to fit his mouth against hers more comfortably.

It takes him a minute, but he finally pulls away, only going so far that his lips are still brushing against hers when he speaks to her, almost breathless.

“Yeah… that’s definitely what I came up here for…”

Y/n smiles, rolling her eyes fondly at him.

“You walked up all those stairs for a kiss?”

“It was one hell of a kiss — I feel like I can keep studying now.” Yoongi can’t help the bubble of laughter that escapes his chest when she leans her head forward on his shoulder and sighs, a quiet giggle slipping out.

“You’re an idiot.” He’s heard that line a million times, more often in the months they’d been pretending to date. But it warms him every time, because he knows she only says it when he’s making her smile against her will. When she can’t help but adore him. He’s quite fond of those three words, if he’s honest.

“I should go… you have to finish studying and get some sleep.”

Y/n lifts her head, frowning slightly. Yoongi leans in quickly, catching her lips just as she’s parting them to complain again. He kisses her once, and then again when she still looks like she has something to say. She opens her mouth one more time, but he can see that she wants to smile, so he knows she’s only pretending so she can get another kiss out of him. He gives her one anyway.

And then he steps back, prying her arms gently from around his neck and putting some distance between them — he can feel his willpower slipping away and he knows he needs to leave now before he ends up not leaving at all.

“I love you.” It comes out with the same tone he’d use to say goodbye, because he’s already backing away toward the stairs, but he’s waiting for a response before he fully turns and leaves. Y/n only leans against her door frame, watching him, so he stops. He refuses to leave until she repeats it back to him, something she’s clearly aware of, if the smirk on her face is anything to go by.

“Say it back, asshole.” He sounds so affronted that she can’t help but throw her head back and laugh, entirely amused by him. When she looks at him again, she sees that he’s feeling the exact opposite, a deadpan expression on his face while he waits.

She opens her mouth to echo the words back to him, because she’s not so terrible as to leave him hanging forever, but then she’s pausing. Because Hoseok’s words from Monday night are suddenly flashing through her mind.

Maybe you’re… actually attracted to him?

Y/n looks Yoongi over, taking in everything about him all at once — the way he’s standing, running his fingers through his hair while he shifts his weight back and forth on his legs. The way he runs two fingers over his collarbones, which he only does when he feels awkward. The way she can see the black ink of her name peeking through the white fabric of his uniform. The way his lips are just swollen enough from kissing her that she feels proud to have been the one to do that to him.

The way he’s looking at her right now, eyes full of bemusement because he’s wondering what she’s thinking about. He’s waiting patiently, because he really isn’t going to leave until she says it back to him. He never does. Just like he’s never left anything unfinished between them, always making certain, even if nothing else in their lives is going right, that at least they’re doing okay.

So, while she’s not quite sure what the difference between adoration and attraction is when it comes to Min Yoongi — while she’s not sure about Hobi’s speculation, that what she’s feeling is anything more than just the affection she’s always had for this boy in front of her — she is sure of one thing.

“Yeah… I love you, too…”

#bts au #bts smau #bts social media au #bts texts #bts hogwarts au #min yoongi #yoongi x reader #yoongi texts

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httpsaiki · 3 years

Note

Saiki with an s/o who just cups his cheeks and tells him they live him for the first time ever.

Hi! This is adorable, thank you so much for this request!! I did a story, not headcanons and it kind of got off track, but I hope you like it!

—

I went into way too much detail about cupcakes in this, I got carried away, oops. I'm back, though! After months I finally refound my love for this show and along with it my inspiration for writing! I hope this isn't too bad, I wrote it all in one go. I have been writing a personal project, but I doubt I've improved that much in the last couple months. Thank you if you read this! I hope to have more to post soon!

Reader is gender neutral!

WC: 1533

Italics represents Saiki speaking telepatically!

Saiki with a S/O who cups his cheeks and tells him they love him for the first time.

—————————————————–

Your week had been anything but easy. Balancing a school and social life wasn’t supposed to be easy, sure, but this was getting ridiculous. It seemed every assignment was due at some point this past week and every class had some sort of test or exam. On top of everything, your friend group decided it was the perfect time to meet up to study nearly every single day. It was completely and entirely exhausting. You hardly got a free moment to yourself.

To make matters worse, you hadn’t seen Kusuo the entire time. He was part of your friend group, yeah, but by some miracle, he managed to dodge every study session. It was almost like he had superpowers. On most weeks like this, Kusuo was the only thing that could get you through it, being around him was oddly healing - even if he’s a jerk about it sometimes, you miss him dearly. He had some sort of ability to keep you calm and content, just being around him was enough to relieve some of the day's stress. Kusuo was there for you no matter what, whether he was willing to admit that or not. You knew it to be true and he knows you know. That’s enough.

You could feel him rolling his eyes if you were to tell him anything you just thought, that is. That never stopped you, though, you needed to make sure he knows you care for him. No, care is not a strong enough word. You’re sure you love him, there’s no doubt in your mind. How can you go about telling him? He of all people definitely deserves to know he’s loved.

Plotting how you’d tell Kusuo that you love him turned out to be a fantastic stress reliever. Laughing all you want about the cheesy, made-up scenarios you come up with did wonders to calm you down. Anything from a mock proposal on the beach, to screaming it off a cliff. Most of them weren’t realistic, nor to either of your tastes. But they were fun, and that’s all that mattered. You finally decided on telling him the one way you knew he’d like best. Sweets. Content with your idea, you prepared for bed. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.

You woke bright and early. So early, in fact, that the sun had hardly even began to rise. There was work to be done. Quietly, you made your way down to the kitchen, careful enough not to wake anyone up. You decided on a quick and easy breakfast, you could never go wrong with toast. While the bread was toasting, you got out cupcake trays and your cake recipe, reading it over and gathering any ingredients you need. You left any ingredients that needed to be refrigerated in the fridge but prepared measuring cups and bowls for them. Anything that didn’t need to be kept cold was put into the appropriate bowl - wet or dry. As you were measuring out the last of your dry ingredients, you heard a faint pop from the toaster and decided it was time to take a break and eat. Your toast was surprisingly good, probably because you felt you worked for it.

Now was for the easier parts, combining the rest of your recipe and then pouring it into the cupcake trays. You went about your day, waiting for them to finish baking and then cool down. Once they were cool, it was around lunchtime. The perfect time to finish them up with icing. Carefully, you took your time to write out “I love u Kusuo!” Putting each character on its own cupcake - unfortunately having to shorten the “you” so that it would fit on the 12 of them. To add a final touch, you added a couple small heart candies onto some of them. They looked great and you were proud of your work.

As soon as the cupcakes were packaged up and ready to go, you headed immediately out the door. Kusuo didn’t usually like when you showed up suddenly or unannounced, but you carried treats and an important message this time. You were sure he wouldn’t mind too much.

The walk to his house was uneventful as always. You were lucky enough not to run into anyone you knew on the way there. You didn’t want to have to explain yourself and a small part of you expected that running into somebody would only strike disaster - similar to the past week. There was a small skip in your step on the way there, happy to finally see Kusuo after that long, painful week. You didn’t let any of your nerves get to you. Kusuo would take your message well. He had to.

Or, that’s what you were telling yourself as you nervously stood at his doorway. Ringing his doorbell had never been so frightening. You braved it, though, and your finger found its way up to his doorbell. The muffled ring could be heard even from the outside and approaching footsteps that sounded awfully familiar came shortly after.

When the door opened you were greeted with the face you craved to see all week. He looked as unbothered as ever, but the second he stepped aside and his arm gestured to let you in you knew he was happy to see you. With a smile on your face, you went to step inside and-

Apparently, your awful week had yet to cease. Right as you walked in the door, towards Kusuo, your foot caught the bottom of the doorframe. You tripped on it, the box of cupcakes falling along with you. "Oh!” It came out choked and as if you hadn’t meant to say it at all, “No!”

You quickly peeked inside of the box. The icing writing you had worked so hard on was smudged, no longer legible. They were still edible, but the message had been erased. Kusuo was staring down at the cupcakes, an almost puzzled expression on his face. He kept the same expression as his eyes met yours.

“Sorry,” you apologized quickly, “they were for you, I didn’t mean to- to make a mess of them.”

Kusuo only nodded, but it was enough to tell you there was no problem and you hadn’t even needed to apologize. He wasn’t mad.

“Listen, Kusuo I,” you cut yourself off, now that the cupcakes weren’t an option how did you want to tell him?

“Screw it.” You muttered under your breath as you stood up from the ground, dusting yourself off. Now back on your feet, you quickly reached up, placing both your hands on Kusuo’s cheeks. Your thumbs found their way right on his cheekbones, running softly along them. The rest of your fingers could reach to his hair and you had to resist completely tangling them in it. His expression was entirely neutral once more, at the very least he wasn’t offended by your actions.

“I really love you, Kusuo.”

He smiled. He actually smiled. It was genuine, it was beautiful, everything you could’ve asked for and more. His hands were in your cheeks too at this point and he had an uncharacteristically intense look in his eyes.

“I really love you, too.”

Such a simple statement and yet you could feel your cheeks burning up from it. Even worse, his hands were on his face so he could feel it too. He was so close, still smiling at you. You’d never imagined his face was capable of making such a dopey, lovesick smile and yet here he is. And then he hugged you. Tight. He’d never held you like that before, it was so loving and warm. It hardly lasted a couple seconds, so short that you were almost sure you imagined it. As soon as you registered it, it was over, and Kusuo’s normal, unbothered expression remained on his face.

“We shouldn’t let your hard work go to waste, should we? Want to come enjoy these with me?” Kusuo moved down to pick up the box, staring down at them in admiration even if they were a mess by now. You didn’t bother to reply to him, still slightly in shock. You chose to simply follow after him into the other room as he placed the box on a table. Kusuo wasted no time in grabbing one of the cupcakes, his signature sweets-eating-face taking over as soon as he took a bite. It was endearing, to say the least. As if he sensed your hesitation, he nudged the box towards you, encouraging you to take one as well. Despite their state, they still tasted amazing, all your hard work really paid off.

The rest of the day was spent comfortably. You refused to leave Kusuo’s side after everything that happened. You took to ranting about your week and how much you missed him while sat comfortably next to him, right where you wanted to be. Maybe the past week was worth it. You finally got to tell Kusuo you love him and got plenty of time together to make up for it. It had been bad, but like all the times before, Kusuo had a way of making you feel better.

#the disasterous life of saiki k #saiki no psi nan #saiki k #saiki k x reader #saiki kusuo x reader #kusuo saiki x reader #saiki kusuo #kusuo saiki #saiki #my writing

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natsu-chan-17 · 3 years

Text

It'll be okay in the end

Pairing: Bokuto x gender neutral reader

Warnings: none just a bit of anxiety issues

Summary: Your final exams had taken a toll on you and the thought of taking a break made you more stressed however your focus couldnt remain on the books forever.

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Streams of laughter wafted from the TV in front of you as your favourite movie played for what seemed to be the 5th time that week.

You had a strange habit of rewatching familiar shows when you were stressed out and it seems finals had been taking a toll on the remaining brain cells left in your head.

You toyed with your fingernails as you listened to the dialogue that was basically embedded into your brain and recited at one point, "And who said I cant launch a monkey in a canon? That's bullshit Harold."

The state of your abused nails was atrocious from all your nitpicking and you knew that you should let them be....but unfortunately your coping mechanisms couldnt be changed that easily.

Just as Tania, the sassy next door neighbor, was about to state her famous one liner the door to your apartment creaked open. The sound of weak, creaky floorboards shifting under a new weight could be heard from where you were seated on the couch.

"Tadaima!" you heard Bokuto yelling from the entrance. "Okaeri," you said once he appeared behind you. He leaned on the couch with his forearms and kissed your cheek hello.

"Hey hey hey! How was your day baby owl??"

"It was okayy." The tone in your voice as you tried to lie hit a higher pitch than normal and Bokuto immediately knew something had happened. The two of you had been together for 2 years already, and he had memorized so many little details about you that he could sense when your mind wasnt at ease.

"Hmm just okay? What were you up to, is something on your mind, do you need help, do you wanna talk maybe, I'm here if you needa vent you know," he rambles on trying to edge the information out of you like a curious puppy.

"Well I mean I'm okay, just that I've been procrastinating studying and its stressing me out that I'm being so irrational..."

"Dont we all need a break sometimes though? Just take the day off and try again tomorrow bubs," he said as he eased himself onto the couch alongside you and rested his head in the crevice of your neck.

You instinctively reached out to scratch his head out of habit whenever he laid on your shoulder.

"I guess I could try that....I just hope I have enough energy to actually start again. School's pretty draining and I feel like I'm not doing enough and when I look at the accomplishments I have right now it makes me feel somehow empty and and...."

"Woah woah calm down baby owl," he rose from your shoulder and held your face in his big, soft hands, squishing your cheeks in the process.

"Heyy you'll be fine. I'm right here, just focus on the here and now okay?"

"Mhmm," you hummed since his hands were squeezing your cheeks too much to talk. Bokuto nuzzled his nose with yours and it tickled so much that you couldnt help laughing.

"That's better," he said with a proud grin. "Now can we cuddle please?? Dont worry for now and try to relax when you can y/n. You know just how intelligent you are so dont try to doubt yourself, I know without a doubt that my smarty pants will ace their papers."

His smile held such innocent support that you couldnt help but believe he was right.

"Mmm I guess you're right....thanks Bo," you whispered as realization hit you. 'A break doesn't sound too bad actually,' you thought as you settled back into the couch with him.

The rest of the afternoon was a binge fest for you two as you swam through the currents of romance, comedy and action themed movies.

Bokuto was laying on your lap by the time you'd finished the third movie and you were gently patting his head. You raked your fingers through his floofy hair, rubbing occasional circles into his scalp as he slowly fell asleep.

His skin seemed so fluorescent even in the darkness of your living room. You rubbed his temples and poked at his cheeks, giggling at how his face creased from the sudden disruption before relaxing once again.

'Fuck finals, I got this in the bag if this cute teddy bear is my motivator,' you thought.

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A/n - hey guys I'm writing my finals right now and I just wanted to make some sort of motivational fic for those studying as well. Good luck guys and remember to take a break or Bokuto will come give you a scolding ;)

#bokuto #haikyu x reader #gender neutral fanfic #bokuto x reader #bokuto fluff #haikyuu koutarou

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myhoneststudyblr · 4 years

Photo

every single student in the world has likely procrastinated at some point - i know i definitely have! sometimes i think it can be quite helpful because means that you don't spend every minute of every day studying... but on the other hand, it can become very hard to beat. there are so many advice posts in the community on this topic but i thought that i would share my own tips!

disclaimer: everyone studies differently and these are my personal tips. they may not work for you but they can be a good starting point

What is Procrastination?

i found this little summary of procrastinating on the internet and thought it completely covered everything that i wanted to say on this point:

Procrastination is the habit of delaying an important task, usually by focusing on less urgent, more enjoyable, and easier activities instead. It is different from laziness, which is the unwillingness to act.

Procrastination can restrict your potential and undermine your career. It can also disrupt teamwork, reduce morale, and even lead to depression and job loss. So, it's crucial to take proactive steps to prevent it.

The first step to overcoming procrastination is to recognize that you're doing it. Then, identify the reasons behind your behavior and use appropriate strategies to manage and overcome it.

- How to Stop Procrastinating by Mindtools

so what is learnt from this is that:

procrastination is not being lazy

it is avoiding tasks by doing other easier tasks

it can have negative effects

you need to proactively take steps to avoid it

first, recognise the procrastinating then use strategies to break the cycle

Conventional Tips

these are the basic tips that are some of the most well-known strategies for ending procrastination and can be some of the most important steps!

1. get organised. tidy up your desk to study space because there is nothing worse than having to work in a place that is chaotic and mess. collect the information you need for the task, for example, notes you've made or a textbook.

2. to-do lists are your friend. a lot of people (including me) really struggle with timetables for studying because it can seem really structured and there is no flexibility or real allowance for things that may crop up during the day (your food takes longer to cook, you have to unexpectedly do a task around the house, you get a really bad headache and need to take a break). in my opinion, to-do lists help solve this problem! you can clearly see the tasks that you want to get done for the day but you don't have stressful time constraints. personally, i always use todoist to keep track of everything. to-do lists also make it easier to break tasks down

3. break the task down. one of the biggest cause of procrastination is having a huge task or project ahead of you because it seems really daunting and where on earth are you even going to start? so break it down *completely*. in your to-do list, don't just write ‘german homework’, write down even task that you need to do within it and be specific: for example ‘pg. 11 ex 4a, 4b and 4c’, ‘textbook listening task on pg. 47′ and ‘250-word essay on social media in Germany’. breaking it down makes the tasks seem more attainable and when you’ve done one and you can cross it off your list, it gives you a boost to keep going

4. eliminate distractions. this is a big one. even if you do all of the above, if you are constantly being distracted by things, you aren't going to get much done. try to find a place that is quiet enough that you can focus and you feel comfortable studying in. as well as this you need to think about what to do with your phone as the likelihood is that this will be the most distracting thing. you can simply turn it off, put on do not disturb, leave it in another room or use and app like forest (that last one is what i use and i don't know where i would be without it!)

5. use incentives. finishing a task is an achievement so treat it like one! before you study, decide on something that you will give yourself as a reward for doing it. this may be watching that new episode of your favourite programme or a tasty snack!

6. set timers. don't just launch yourself into a task, because that again can make it seem daunting and feel unending. rather, set a timer for a specific time because you’ll know that you just need to focus for that specific length of time and then you can go take a break and do something nice. for timing your study sessions, you could use the Pomodoro technique

7. allow for breaks (but try to avoid long ones). you are not a machine and as much as it would be great to be able to, you cant study for hours on end without giving your mind a break from focusing. so schedule in break time for yourself, particularly for times that you know your motivation dips, and do something nice. but be very careful that you don't accidentally slip back into procrastinating habits and keep breaks short. unless you are very disciplined it is unlikely that an hour-long break will stay just an hour.

8. know how you study but don’t be afraid to mix it up. everyone studies differently and so there are going to be some study methods that work better for some than others. so try to make sure that you are studying smart and that you aren't wasting your own time cause that can be incredibly unmotivating. HOWEVER, if there is anything that I’ve learnt from online school its that doing the same task all the time, every day is mind-numbingly boring and you just want to do anything else. so try to switch up what you are doing. if you usually just type notes from the textbook, maybe try doing it in a mindmap one week, or on flashcards, maybe do some practise questions to keep your mind engaged.

9. play music. now this one really depends on the person and how you study. some people need absolute silence and that is fine, but others need something to fill the silence or maybe cover up background noise (for example if you live in a busy household). try to pick music however that is not going to distract you - the key tips for this is to pick music without lyrics. this can be classical music, video game music, or general ‘chill’ music (there are so many playlists out there for chill studying music). i personally listen to Francesco Parrino religiously while studying because he does piano covers of pop songs, so i know the songs and enjoy them but there are no lyrics that can distract me

10. stay hydrated, well-rested and not hungry. this is part of eliminating distractions because if you are thirsty, you are going to be thinking about how you want a drink; if you are tired, you are going to be thinking about how tired you are; if you are hungry, you are going to be thinking about what you want for lunch or whatever. make sure you are hydrated, well-rested and not hungry so you can focus solely on your task or work.

Unconventional Tips

these are some slightly more unusual tips that you might not have seen before but that I've nevertheless found very useful!

1. video yourself or do a timelapse. this is something that I’ve only recently done because i saw a tip on this from someone during my quarantine challenge and thought that it would be cool to do. and it really works! i did it twice once when i was typing notes and a second time when i was handwriting notes and it really made me focus on what is as doing because the video put some pressure on me to look like i was properly studying - i could take a 5-minute break in the middle of my work to mess around with my pen, I just had to keep going so it really forces you to do the work. also watching the video when i was done made me really proud cause i had visual proof of how much i completed!

2. accept that some days you are going to get very little done. this may seem a little bit odd to put on a post that is meant to avoid getting nothing done but it’s actually a very important thing to remember. sometimes you need to take days off because otherwise you are going to burnout and some days you are just not going to be in the right mindset for studying because maybe you are exhausted after a big exam, or you have a headache or you feel unwell. you just need to accept it, draw a line under it, take time for yourself, and resolve yourself to work tomorrow once you feel a bit better. there is no shame in taking time to make sure you stay healthy. if you can, try to get your quickest, easiest task done so you have some sense of accomplishment.

3. ‘churn it out and f**k off’. this was my mum’s motto when she was studying and working in academia. and she recently told it to me when i was getting stressed about all the big tasks during online school. i am a perfectionist and i always want to hand in my very best work, put 100% into everything, but honestly that is impossible. some days you just need to get stuff done and if that isn't your very best then it doesn't matter too much because at least you got it done. and once you get it done you can just forget about it.

4. ask a friend or parent to check up on you. when you are studying by yourself it can be hard to motivate yourself because you know that no ones actually going to check whether you made those votes or did the reading, so ask a friend or someone you live with to check whether you've done the work or get them to read essays. you then get an external reason to study or do your tasks because you need to show them something.

5. rephrase how you think of tasks. when you think that ‘you need to do this task’ or ‘you have to get this done’, a lot of the time this causes unneeded stress and anxiety that is not going to help you at all. also it makes it seem like you are being forced to do something and human beings generally don't act great when they are forced to do something. so try to change your language when thinking about task into one that is more forgiving such as ‘i choose to do this project so that i can go meet my friends tomorrow’ and ‘i choose to read this book now because it will help me in the lecture next week’. this is probably the most difficult strategy on this list and it will take a lot of practice (i am certainly still practising it) but in the long term, it can help you change the way in which you view studying for the better.

✨✨✨

i hope this was helpful and that these tips will be useful, and perhaps you've discovered some new ones! if anyone has anything to add please feel free to reply or reblog with the advice <3

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lubdubsworld · 3 years

Text

Nights in the City.

Crime Boss! Min Yoongi x Sassy College student OC!

Part 1/?

For all that city is supposed to be a thriving metropolis with bustling traffic no matter what the hour, it still felt incredibly creepy to be standing inside a deserted midnight mart, clutching three packs of highlighter pens, a pack of condoms and a pack of tampons.

But it was finals week, and that generally meant that either

a.) I would stress the fuck out of myself and my period would come on early

b.) I would run out of highlighters , fail to highlight the most important part of my notes , forget all about it during the exam and end up dropping a whole grade over it.

c.) I would be so horny, would manage to sneak a guy into my room and at the last minute , we would both realize we didn't have protection.

Sounds oddly specific?

These are actual things that have happened to me so, one could say I was merely being smartly proactive by preparing a contingency plan for when or in case things went wrong.

Such wisdom, much wow.

And so here i was at the local all night mart, waiting for the drunk out of his mind kid to pay for his flavored water .

My legs ached, it was pouring cats and dogs outside, and I could feel a headache come on.

Just as the guy finished paying, i felt a surge of relief. Great, I could pay and finally leave, thank you Lord, angels and every saint chilling next to Jesus-

A hand shot out from behind me slapping a wad of 100000 won bills on the counter.

"Need to see the CCTV footage from this evening kid." A low gravelly voice rumbled in my ear , so disgustingly hot it bordered on obscene.

I turned around to glare at the stranger, only to feel my breath catch in my throat.

A breathtakingly beautiful man stood right behind me, dressed in what looked like a Valentino Tux, ebony dark hair and tattoos that stood out stark against his pale skin.

He was tall and lithe, eyes cat-like yet blazing with anger ? passion? a love for opera music?

Well whatever it was, it was potent.

As was his cologne .

I gagged a little.

"Excuse me, pretty boy.... you're in my space." I snapped .

He looked surprised, like he really hadn't noticed my five foot four ass dressed in a lime green fleece jacket and purple yoga pants.

He tilted his head.

"Excuse me?"

That fucking drawl.

Rolling my eyes i pointed at the board that said " Wait your Turn."

"Can't you read?" I snapped.

He didn't reply, merely staring at me carefully, as though memorizing all my features before giving me a very blatant once over.

Not to be outdone, I did the same to him and the small smile on his face grew into an amused smirk.

The cashier's panicked voice drew us both out of our little eye fuck fest.

"Miss, please if you could step aside... hyungnim I'm so sorry...let me get the tapes for you at once..."

"That's alright. i'll send one of my men to get it later. Why don't you finish billing her items first?" He said softly. He gave me another small smile.

"Since you asked so nicely, petal." he rasped out, reaching out and gently brushing the hair off my face.

i frowned at the little endearment.

Well, no matter.

Satisfied , both at having stood up for myself and not having it backfire in my face, I grinned wide at the cashier.

Why did he look so terrified? Geez.

I finished paying and then politely stepped out of the line, indicating to Mr. Tuxedo that he could go next.

But he didn't .

instead he followed me as i walked out.

"Where do you live?" He asked casually.

I blinked, confused.

“What? Why?”

“So I can drop you off. It’s late and the city gets dangerous at night.”

I rolled my eyes.

“The city isn’t dangerous..” I lowered my voice , curling my fingers to get him to lean closer. He obliged obediently, moving closer and bending low till his ear was almost level with my lips, “ I am dangerous.”

He straightened, brows raised and lips parted.

“Oh? You are?”

I grinned conspiratorially.

“Listen, you look rich and kind of handsome so I’m going to assume that you aren’t going to mug me, so I’ll show you. Now, the reason I’m wearing this jacket that makes me look like the hulk jizzed all over me is, this jacket is the only jacket I have with big enough pockets to carry this.”

I slipped a hand into my pocket and pulled out my trusty pepper spray.

“Ah. Smart.” He nodded in approval.

“And Dangerous.” I reminded him.

“Definitely dangerous.” He nodded again, solemnly.

Satisfied, I slipped the can back in.

“So really, kind stranger I’m perfectly safe to walk the dark streets of Seoul on this night.”

He smiled and held both hands up , stepping away respectfully.

“A strong independent woman who don’t need no man.” He said with a grin, “ Noted.”

“I’m Shinhye. What’s your name?” I asked brightly.

“Yoongi.” He smiled.

I nodded.

“Alright, Yoongi. I’m gonna go now… By the way why’d you want the CCTV footage?” I smiled at him.

Yoongi hesitated before giving me a small shrug.

“I stabbed a guy in the neck in the store this afternoon . Just wanted to make sure my men turned off the CCTV when it happened.”

I was still smiling, waiting for him to laugh at the joke, which was definitely creepy, but perhaps just in theme with what we had been discussing.

But he didn’t laugh.

And I felt the first stirrings of worry.

“Ha ha ha.” I said nervously.” That’s funny. L-O-L.”

He tilted his head.

“You think stabbing people is funny?”

I blinked, horrified.

“What, of course not… I mean… You didn’t actually stab anyone did you?”

He hesitated.

“To be fair, he stole from me. If I didn’t stab him and drop his body in the Han, then other people are going to think its okay to steal from me too and I just can’t have that.” He said with a shake of his head.

I opened my mouth to say that the joke had stopped being funny, when three other scars came skidding into the parking lot. I yelped, stumbling on a stray rock and Yoongi caught me, hands firm on my arms , drawing me into the warmth of his chest to keep me from falling.

“Careful, petal.” He breathed right against my ear and I froze staring at the men climbing out of the cars.

Now, these men, I could believe were capable of stabbing people.

They wore small dagger at their waist, the outline of pistol holsters on their sides and their thighs.

“Boss, it’s done. We got rid of him. He’ll be fish chow by the morning.” One of them said cheerfully.

Wait.

No.

No way.

This was a dream.

I had dozed off by the tampon aisle and I was having a fever dream.

“Excellent Jungkook-ah. Boys, say hello to my girlfriend, Shinhye.” Yoongi said casually.

I jumped, trying to get away but his arm came right around my shoulder, forearm resting on the swell of my breasts as he held me closely.

“ Your- your what?”

“Girlfriend. I haven’t met a girl this intriguing in a while and well, you’re quite easy on the eyes too…”

“I… I’m not… No.. Please…” I couldn’t quite form a coherent thought.

“Oh, petal , I’m sorry. I’m afraid I can’t accept that no. I’m going to pick you up for dinner tomorrow night at …well wherever you live. Our first date so wear something pretty yeah?” he nuzzled my neck.

Actually nuzzled it.

What the actual fuck.

“You’re insane. I’m not dating you!” I said shrilly.

“Eight O clock.” He hummed, still pressed right up against my back. The warmth of his body was ridiculously comforting in the chill night air.

Then before I could process what he was doing, one hand came up to curl over my chin in a gently grip, tilting my face back so I was looking up into his beautiful face.

“Don’t make me wait, petal.” He said softly, before reaching down and closing his lips over mine.

It was a soft kiss , over before I could even process it.

“You said you’re dangerous right baby? I’m dangerous too. Maybe together we can be absolutely terrifying , yeah?” he was laughing now.

And i wasn't.

Infact,

I was going to pass the fuck out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's note : this is just something fluffy and ridiculous to keep me sane while I write the angsty fics.

#yoongi mafia au #bts mafia au #fluff and smut #bts smut #yoongi smut

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dreamescapeswriting · 3 years

Text

Under Pressure ~ HJS [Request]

WORD COUNT: 2.2K

GENRE: Stressed reader, angst with a fluffy ending, establish-relationship, Sweet boyfriend Jisung

PAIRING: Jisung x Fem!Reader

A/N: I hope you enjoy this sweetie! @crispy-chan

The moment Jisung walked into the cafe he knew there was something wrong with you, normally you would rush over to him with a smile across your face ready to greet him and get him sat down but today you were nowhere to be seen. You worked in a small cafe just around the corner from the JYP building so whenever Jisung had a break or some free time he would dress up in a cap, glasses and mask to come and meet you, it had been that way since the start of your relationship. It wasn't often that you got to spend time alone together so you took every opportunity you could to get together.

"Take a seat, I'll be with you in just a moment," A new worker said as he took Jisung over to a booth, Jisung kept glancing around the cafe. It wasn't that large so there weren't that many places that you could have been hiding from him, you couldn't have been on your break since it was a rush time in the cafe. The time was busiest since everyone wanted to have something to eat before heading to their offices for the rest of the afternoon.

"If you're looking for Y/n, she's in the back." The manager said as she caught Jisung looking around, of course, she knew who he was since he came into the cafe frequently enough.

"Go back and see her, she looks tired though." Jisung knew you'd been a little more stressed than usual lately because you had assignments and exam's coming up but you were smart there was nothing you couldn't handle.

"Thanks," He mumbled heading through the kitchen door and towards the small office you were cramped inside of with books surrounding you.

"This is where they keep the princess?" He chuckled sitting down beside you on one of the chairs and staring at the books that were in front of you. You must have been so lost in the words as you hadn't even noticed someone sitting next to you until Jisung touched your cheek.

"Shit!" You screamed out jumping back on the seat and looking at him, your eyes were wide with fear and Jisung laughed softly.

"You didn't hear me?" You shook your head, greeting him with a quick peck on the cheek before looking back down at your book. There were five exam's you were crunching for this week and not one of them was going to leave you enough time to also finish four assessments that you had to write up. Everything felt as though it was piling up on top of you, Jisung reached his hand out and touched yours instantly making you feel calmer with the smallest of touches.

"Relax, you're ready for these exams." He whispered encouragingly to you as he began to rub your knuckles softly, he knew how hard you were on yourself about things but he didn't want you to start beating yourself up over anything.

"When was the last time you got some sleep? I mean real sleep, not what you and Chan call sleep," He mumbled as he watched you, your eyes had bags underneath them so he knew you hadn't slept well for days.

"I slept last night," You lied. He knew you were lying since you wouldn't look at him and you scratched the base of your neck it was your give-away sign.

"Want me to come around tomorrow? I'll cook us something to eat and we can study together...I'll ask you questions," You smiled at the thought of him helping you study despite having no idea what you had to do for those exams.

"That would be great...But can you get-" He kissed your lips to stop you from asking if he could get the time off, if it was for you he would do anything in his power.

"Consider me already there, no go home and get some real sleep." He begged you as he looked at you, cupping your face in his hands while he rubbed his thumb under your eyes. You snuggled into his touch enjoying the feeling of his skin on yours,

"I have another shift, I only had a two-hour break to cram some studying into. I'll go home after," You promised as he got up from the chair to walk him out, Jisung knew from the wording of your sentence that you would go home but that didn't mean you would rest.

"Just promise me you'll get rest," You nodded at him, quickly kissing him before heading over to the till to help your manager take orders and serve the customers that were inside.

Jisung sighed to himself as he watched you plaster on a fake energetic smile for people and he headed out of the cafe wondering what he was going to have to do to get you to sleep.

The next day Jisung had text you non-stop to find out what you wanted him to cook and what time you wanted him to come around to the apartment but there had been no responses from you for the last four hours.

"Maybe she's asleep or doing some studying," Chan tried to calm down Jisung's racing thoughts but he'd been worried about you since leaving the cafe yesterday. After seeing the state you were in he couldn't help but be filled with worry that you were going to end up crashing or passing out from exhaustion.

"Babe, I got the ingredients for your favourite meal and Felix made brownies for us to share," Jisung announced as he unlocked the door to your apartment with his spare key but there was no response. He knew you were home because your favourite pair of shoes were by the door and your lights were all on,

"Babe?" He called out, taking off his shoes and heading into the kitchen where he saw a cold pot of tea sitting on the side with some tablets that were open. Paracetamol and ibuprofen were sitting there with a half-drunken glass of water, he hated the thought of you having a headache as much as he hated the fact that you were staying awake so much.

"Y/N?" He whispered as he walked further into the apartment in case you were asleep somewhere you shouldn't have been and that was when he saw you. Fast asleep with your head laying on top of your textbooks, highlight in hand as you snored softly. He sighed to himself as he walked over to you, you were out cold.

"What am I going to do with you?" He chuckled to himself as he got closer to you, spotting that you had a sticky note pressed against your face and a bright coloured highlighter marker on your cheek.

"Cute," He whispered making sure to snap a photo of the moment before he attempted to move you to your bedroom.

"Here we go," He grunted as he laid you down in the bed, carefully taking off your jeans so you wouldn't have to sleep in the horrible fabric, he pulled the sheets over your body before leaving a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"Sleep well beautiful," He said before leaving the room to go and clean up your apartment. It was the least he could since it was in such a mess, you must not have had much time to clean between, work and studying and he didn't blame you. Beginning in the dining room where he had found you he started by collecting your notes together, sliding everything into the correct books before leaving to go and clean up the kitchen.

Waking up to the smell of cooking you sat up in bed, holding your head as the headache still hadn't left yet.

"Fuck," You whispered to yourself as you kicked yourself out from the bed only to remember the last thing you had been doing was waiting for your tutor to call you on the laptop at the kitchen table and now you were in bed with no pants on.

"Shit!" You yelled out running into the hallway and into the kitchen to see Jisung standing over the over stirring something in a large pot, he jumped when he heard you running to your laptop that was now shut down and everything was cleared away.

"Where are my notes?! Did my tutor call?! Why are you here?!" Your voice was hoarse as you panicked at Jisung but this only filled him with more worry as he thought you were getting sick.

"I came in and you were asleep so I cleaned up for you, I figured it was no big deal-"

"No big deal?! Jisung I had a fucking meeting to be at! Did you not think about that when you moved me?!" You snapped as you began trying to load your laptop up as fast as you could,

"No, I was too busy worrying my girlfriend had overworked himself," He answered snarkily as he poured some soup into a bowl and brought it over to the table for you but you didn't even thank him or glance away from your laptop.

"Great! Just fucking great I missed my meeting and now I'm going to be behind on the studying!" As you yelled out in frustration you went to pull your legs into your chest, knocking the table ultimately knocking the soup over and spilling it over your books.

"Fuck sake Jisung!" You screamed picking up the books and trying to clean them before the hot liquid ruined the notes and books that you desperately needed.

"Y/n, calm down." Jisung tried to take the books from you to help but you let tears roll down your face as you saw everything that was inside was ruined, notes smudged over that was unreadable, pages were sticking together. Everything you had been working so hard on was gone within seconds.

"This is your fault! Why should I calm down?! Why are you even here!?" You snapped once again, throwing the books down onto the table as you cried to yourself. The stress of your exams, working and your lack of sleep all finally hitting you at once as you broke down into a pool of tears, Jisung let out a breath as he saw you. He knew you weren't mad at him so he wasn't going to get upset over you yelling at him,

"For this exact reason, you're too stressed...You haven't been sleeping Y/n...I came by to help," You shook your head as you stared at the ruined notes,

"Everything is gone, I'm going to fail my exams." You whimpered as Jisung pulled you into his embrace and kissed the top of your head trying to remind you that it was going to be fine but you kept shaking your head and telling him that everything was gone.

"You're so smart Y/n, you already know everything that was going to be in the exam." He whispered, kissing the top of your head as he tried to get you to calm down but nothing was going to work. The tiredness you were experiencing with the small cold you were getting was making you overreact to everything and right now it was the end of the world as you knew it.

"You don't get it because you never had to do this! Not all of us can just get out of school and just go on to be famous!" You snapped at him, trying to push him away as you sobbed into your hands but he wasn't going to let you go that easily.

When you woke up again you were curled up against Jisung in your bed, his arms were wrapped around you tightly as he snored and you whined feeling sweaty from being so close to him.

"You're finally awake?" You stared at Jisung confused as he questioned you,

"What do you mean finally?" He sat you both up as he looked at you sighing,

"You passed out after eating dinner with me and it's been a day since. You've been in and out of sleep since, waking up to pee and drink water." He looked at you with sad eyes, reaching up to feel how hot your skin was and smiling to himself as he realised you weren't as hot as you were the day before.

"Your temperature's gone down so that's good." You looked at him with a frown and he kissed your forehead softly,

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," You mumbled as you remember everything that had happened the day before, yelling at him for something you had done.

"Don't worry about it. Your tutor called and I explained that you were sick, he's extending your assessments and allowing you to retake the exams when you're better." A wave of relief washed over you as you looked at Jisung, no idea how you were ever going to thank him for what he did.

"I'll never stop thanking you," You snuggled into him, kissing his shoulder as he shook his head at you.

"Just make sure you get enough rest, that's the only thanks I need." He told you as he held you closer to him.

Tagline: @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @acciocriativity @sw33tnight @that-anxious-bisexual

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annab-nana · 3 years

Text

Twitches & Stitches - Peter Parker

You are a worrywart and along with other problems in your life, Peter being Spider-Man doesn’t really help to keep you calm. One night when he gets hurt, your own body tells him you're stressed before you do.

Warnings: some curse words; blood and wounds

Word Count: 3.2k+

--------------------------------------------------

“Holy shit, Peter!” you exclaimed when you saw the battered and bruised boy through your window in the middle of the night. If you were not expecting him, the sight would’ve really scared you though seeing him in the state he was in wasn’t exactly calming. “Why are you here?”

He needed a hospital with a real doctor, not you with your Spider-Man band-aids and your little first aid kit. The left side of his abdomen was grazed with some kind of burn and his right thigh took a larger hit, looking similar to his side but much worse. Blood dripped from his nose, his busted lip, and the cut on his upper cheek near his eye. His eyes were clearly red and puffy, one of them starting to form a bruise around the socket. Scrapes, scratches, and small cuts littered his body everywhere else. You knew he was going to be sore and in pain for a little while even given his rapid healing abilities. As you ran to get a towel from the other side of your room, he held his wounded side with one hand and frantically pushed his sweaty curls back with the other.

“You always help clean me up. I thought you liked to do it. I can get May to help if you don’t want to right n-”

“No Pete, I do like that you come to me for help but this…” you trailed off as your finger pointed to the large cut on the side of his face before it faltered down towards his side and leg. “That needs stitches and extensive medical care. I don’t know how to do that. We need to get you to a hospital.”

“Actually, can you take me to the compound? Banner can help me there,” Peter asked when you pulled on your jacket and shoes and looped an arm around his waist to hold him up while he held the towel you got for him to his injured leg.

“Yeah, come on.” So, you got him into your car and began the drive upstate. It wasn’t too long especially since you were going a little over the speed limit—your boyfriend was bleeding so of course most laws were thrown out the window to get him some help—but a hospital would have been much closer. You understood why he wanted to go here: no one questioning how this happened, no coming up with a story to tell, people he was familiar with and comfortable around, so you took him.

“Y/n, calm down. It’ll be fine,” Peter whispered when his suited hand came to rest on your hand that you had been tapping anxiously against the steering wheel. You had not realized you were doing it, but you were scared for Peter. Of course, he was a superhuman with rapid healing abilities and super strength, but he looked awful and your mind began to wander to the worst. What if he did not make it back one night? What if he was kidnapped or tortured? What if he died? What would you do? You wanted to protect him but how could you when you were a measly human, no special abilities, just a big heart.

“I know. I just worry about you is all,” you muttered when you saw the compound come into view, the lush greenery of the tall trees behind it and the starry night sky about it appearing so beautiful.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, sweetheart,” he reminded you before pecking your cheek. “I always come out okay.”

As much as you wanted to protest and explain that he might not always be fine and that his powers didn’t make him completely invincible, you pushed it down and pulled in front of the compound. You turned off the ignition and ran around to his side to help him out and walked him into the building.

“What’d you get into now Peter?” Dr. Bruce Banner inquired when you both walked in, taking in the boy’s limp and bloodied body.

“Some guys with alien tech. It’s different than the Chitauri stuff. It’s much more advanced,” he explained while you two followed Banner to an examination room. You helped him to get up on the bed—though he probably didn’t need your assistance—but it was the thought and the care that you put in that made him feel better.

While they discussed what happened as Bruce stitched him up, you hung back a bit and took in the room. Every room in the compound fascinated you. Each so simple yet so intricate, so sophisticated and sleek. Most of the rooms were white especially the exam rooms of the medical wing. Everything was just so crisp and you loved to look around at it all.

Then your eyes landed on the boy you fell in love with who was smiling up at Bruce Banner who had cracked a joke you did not hear. Peter Parker. Did you know you were signing up to be Spider-Man’s girlfriend when you started dating him? No, but you loved all of him, even the parts that scared you.

It wasn’t that him being Spider-Man scared you. You couldn’t think of anyone better to take this huge responsibility on and take it on as beautifully as he did too. What terrified you were the possibilities that the job could entail. Just tonight he had a run-in with some scumbags with alien technology and this obviously was not the first time this had happened. After what occurred with Liz’s dad, you hoped this would go smoother or maybe he could get more avengers to help him this time. You couldn’t handle another building being dropped on him like it was nothing or even something worse. But now there was more of this unknown tech and it was more advanced? With his stubborn self, he’d go after them as soon as possible and it’d probably end up worse than last time. You just could not handle that. You couldn’t handle losing him.

“So how long has your eye been twitching?” Bruce asked out loud, not directed at anyone in particular but Peter assumed it was for him as did you.

“My eye hasn’t been twitching, sir, unless I can’t feel it,” he told him in a confused tone. Banner chuckled a bit before turning towards you.

“I meant you. You’ve noticed that right?” You did not know whether to nod or shake your head. Had you noticed it? Yes, but were you also too busy to care? Also, yes.

“I mean a little, yeah. I didn’t think it was a big deal though and that it’d go away soon. I’m okay, right?” You asked beginning to get a little frantic, but he was quick to reassure you.

“Yeah, don’t worry too much about it. We don’t need another thing to stress you out,” he commented, and by your tilted head and furrowed brow, he could see you didn’t know what he meant. “Eye twitching commonly correlates to stress and fatigue. Would you say that’s true?”

Peter’s wide and concerned eyes met yours. He didn’t know of anything that would be stressing you and he figured you got enough sleep. You handled everything so well so he had no clue that you could be stressed or tired.

“I mean yeah maybe. I could see it,” you answered the scientist who finished up what he needed to with Peter.

“Okay Parker, you’re all good and as for you,” he stopped and turned to face you, “Just relax and get some rest. Nothing bad will happen but it’s clear you need a break.” You nodded at him when he exited the door and as soon as he left, Peter hopped off the exam bed and walked over to you.

“You never told me anything about being stressed or worn out. Are you okay?” he questioned, his hands cupping your face as his eyes danced between your own.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Now let’s go back before my mom freaks out when she sees I’m gone,” you urged but Peter’s hand gripping your wrist stopped you.

“Text her and tell her you’re staying with me. Let’s go to my room here so you can get as much sleep as you need and then we can spend the whole day here tomorrow just chilling, okay?” he told you while still cradling your face.

“Okay well we need to move my car from out front to the garage,” you reminded him, and he grabbed your keys from your back pocket before you could.

“I’ll do that. You head on up to my room and I’ll meet you there.” So, you did as you were told. You went to Peter’s room, took off your shoes and jacket, and slipped under the blankets, the soft scent of him filling your nose.

Had you really been that stressed and exhausted that your eye was starting to twitch? Yeah, you could not fall asleep until you knew Peter was okay after patrolling, and sometimes you didn’t get that confirmation until midnight or later. Yeah, your mom had to work more so she could provide for you both and she was too tired from working to do anything, so you had to take care of the both of you. Yeah, school was getting a little more intense as the semester progressed and being a sophomore at a school for genius teenagers came with a heftier workload. But you were handling it. You always handled what life had to throw at you and you handled it with ease from the outside looking in.

“Okay, your car has been moved,” he announced when he slipped into his room and placed your keys on the desk that was placed near the door. He pressed the spider emblem in the center of his chest causing the suit to expand and loosen off his body before it fell to the floor. That left him in his boxers which was exactly what he wore to bed, so he slid underneath the covers and opened his arms for you to snuggle next to him. A small smile crept onto your lips as you scooted over and laid your head on his chest before entangling your legs with his own.

“How are you feeling?” you whispered into the space around you, your thumb slowly rubbing over the edge of the bandage that covered his side. You remembered the image of seeing him in your window only a short while ago and your heart dropping at the sight.

“Better now. I’ll be okay,” he stated reassuringly as his hand trailed absentmindedly up and down your back. “We need to talk about you though. What’s got you all stressed? I didn’t even know you were struggling. You’d know I’d help and that you can talk to me, right?”

“Yes, Peter. I know that and even I didn’t know how bad it was until Banner pointed it out,” you muttered, sighing against his skin as you hid your face in the crook of his neck. You didn’t mean for it to get like this. You thought you could handle it. You thought you were handling it fine, but your body was telling you otherwise.

“What is it?” he asked again, his other hand reaching to grab yours. “What’s making you stressed? Talk to me.”

“For starters, school. This sophomore year workload is a lot to handle when I have other things to worry about.”

“Like what?” You had not told him about your mom taking on a second job to make ends meet, about how she worked from eleven at night to seven in the morning at a hotel then slept for a little then worked at the diner she had worked at for years for however long they had scheduled her, about how she barely took care of herself let alone you, how you had to take care of her and yourself. Your mom was your hero. She had taken all of this like a champ, and you felt like shit for letting it all get to you through your damn eye twitches. You didn’t need Peter to worry about you. That would have made things worse, and he has bigger things he needs to worry about anyway. Also, he would have told May and you could not take her big brown empathetic eyes looking at you in pity before she would hug you and you would definitely break down then.

“Y/n? Sweetheart? Are you crying?” Peter whispered as he pulled you from his chest to look at you and indeed, a tear had fallen from your beautiful face onto his shoulder. “Why are you crying, baby? What’s wrong?” He asked when he sat up with you and pulled you back into his arms for him to hold you.

“I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to worry,” you mumbled against his neck where you had hidden your face once again. You hated crying though you were comfortable doing so in front of Peter.

“Darling, you can always tell me anything. I care about you so much and I thought you were okay because that is what you have told me and shown me. It’s okay to break down. God knows how many times I’ve broken down and cried in front of you,” he stated with a laugh which had caused a watery chuckle to escape you. He leaned down to press his lips to your temple. “Talk to me, baby. Tell me what’s on your mind and maybe you’ll feel better.”

So, you did. You explained how your mom had to get another job, told him how you were worried for her because she was not caring for herself and how you were having to act as the mom of the house since she was trying to financially provide for you both. You unloaded everything you had in your head about the situation with your mom and the stress you had been feeling because of it.

He held you through it all. He had shifted you both back to laying positions as he held you against him with one arm and held your hand with his other. Every word he listened to intently and it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. He was the best thing that had ever happened to you and you loved him with every ounce of your being.

“Why didn’t you say something sooner? You know I’d help you anytime,” he reassured you as if you had forgotten that he would help you. You knew he would be there for you in an instant when you would call, but something else had stopped you.

“Because… you’re Spider-Man. Queens needs you and you have bigger things to deal with like guys with technology from outer space. You should put that first, not my problems that I can handle myself.”

“I am Spider-Man, but I am also Peter Parker, and you matter most to me. So, I can leave the alien tech to someone else now that they’ll actually listen to me when I say there’s a bad guy and I can help you,” he reminded you and you nodded.

“Okay,” was you muttered before a beat of silence passed you both and then Peter spoke up again.

“Y/n?”

“Yeah.”

“Do I stress you out?” he questioned and as you were about to decline it, you remembered that he wasn’t just Peter Parker, but also Spider-Man, and that part of him did stress you out a little bit.

“Umm…” you trailed off as you got worked up again, tears swimming in your vision as you let out a shaky breath to calm yourself.

“I do, don’t I?” he inquired once more. The way his voice sounded so defeated made your heart split in two.

“Yes,” you spoke before the tears were flowing again. “But it’s only because I’m worried for your safety. I mean you didn’t see what I saw when you came to my window tonight. Peter, you looked awful, and what if it had been worse? What if you hadn’t been able to get up from the fight and seek help? What if y-you died? I don’t know what I’d do. I stay awake every night waiting for you to either show up at my window or for you to call and tell me you’re safe at home. Peter, I love you, but you being Spider-Man and risking your life constantly, that terrifies me. You handle it well, but I just get worried that one day you won’t come back.”

His eyes softened as you spoke while he was quick to pull you into his embrace and shush you to calm you from your cries. You had to admit that it did feel good letting all this out and telling him the truth finally, but these were the things that were weighing heavy on your heart and to just speak of them to someone helped lift that weight some.

“Baby, you know I will always come back to you. I think you underestimate me,” he chuckled as his hand ran up and down your arm in a soothing manner.

“I know you’re strong, asshole,” you laughed along with him before getting back to your main point, “but I am scared that you think you’re invincible and you’ll run yourself into something you can’t handle, and then what happens? You get seriously hurt or worse, you die and then I’ll be alone. So will May. Ned will not have his best friend. MJ won’t have someone to bug all the time. What are we supposed to do when we don’t have you, Peter? I-I can’t handle that.”

“Y/n, you can’t keep thinking of the worst-case scenario in this situation. There will always be that possibility, but I am sure that won’t ever happen. I can sense when something bad is going to happen before it does so I know when to get out of the way before something could potentially kill me. I will always be okay in the end and so will you so don’t worry too much about it. You’re stressing yourself out more than you need to,” he whispered calmingly as his thumb rubbed soothing circles into your skin. You sighed before cuddling into the boy. He was right. You did tend to let your mind wander to the worst, and you were stressing yourself out more than you needed to. You had other more important things to worry about like your mother and getting schoolwork done.

“I love you, you know that right?” you spoke softly against the flesh of his chest before pressing a light kiss where your words landed.

“Yes, I do. You wouldn’t worry yourself sick if you didn’t love me. I love you so much sweetheart,” he muttered into your hair. “Now tomorrow, we aren’t going to do anything that counts as work. We’ll sleep in, watch some movies, we can bake some cookies or something if you’d like?”

“That sounds nice,” you told him while nodding your head.

“Then that’s what we will do,” he stated into the space above you, into the darkness of his room. “Good night, y/n.”

“Good night, Peter,” you sighed as you melted into his body, his strong arms very present around you and holding you close and safe next to him. You could feel him. He was right there. He always came back so there was no need to worry. Your sweet little Peter Parker was not going anywhere. You had him right there and that was all you needed to feel calm.

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