#I meant to draft this to save it somewhere but now that it's on the dash i'm just going to keep it

[asharasasylum]

Pretty Baby I ♡  Rafe Cameron x Step/Adopted!Sister Reader

author's note: I needed to publish something and I found this saved in my drafts. It’s in 2 parts. (Part 2 in now here) It’s not really edited either and not amazing so I’m sorry about that. I do want to say the main character is inspired by Nicola Peltz character in backroads. Please really read the warnings with this one. warnings: Dark. Abuse. Violence. Child Abuse. Parental abuse. Angst. Trauma responses. Obsession from both ends. Manipulation. Gaslighting. Toxic relationship!! Aged up characters. Step-cest. Eventual Smut. Eventual character death. 18+ MDNI

He's your saviour, your knight in shining armour but he can also be your own worst enemy.

It was your tenth birthday when your father was finally arrested. 

While he deserved it, truly deserved it, you didn’t care. 

All you could do was cry as you sat at the back of Peterkin’s car, babbling about how you just wanted to see your daddy. 

It must have been a few hours later, time rolling into the late hours of the night and you were still with Peterkin. Only you had found yourself in the police station, tear stained face as you bit at the nail of your thumb. 

“Y/N.” 

You turned to look up at Peterkin to find her standing beside a man you didn’t recognise. 

“This is Ward Cameron,” Peterkin introduced you, with a small smile. 

The man tried to give you a smile but his face dropped as soon as he took you in. You hadn’t realised how bad your appearance was then, the purple marks that covered your skin were a normality you were accustomed to. 

Peterkin took Ward a few steps from you, somewhere they thought you couldn’t hear. 

“Did he- Did he do that to her?” Ward questioned. 

Peterkin just nodded. 

“But he’s her father,” Ward was in clear disbelief as he spoke, pointing at you. 

“And now she has no one.” 

That’s all Ward apparently needed to hear, throwing his jacket over your shoulders as he directed you to his car. 

He tried to make light conversation in the car, bringing up things he thought you might like, only to find him stumbling on his words each time you said you didn’t know what he was talking about. But he never stopped trying, and you think you were glad for that. 

It was the next day that you met everyone, all of them welcoming you with open arms, excluding Rafe. 

He had glared at you, eyes narrowed and nostrils flared. It was almost as if he was waiting for the opportunity to crack your school open on the wall behind you. He just needed you to give him reason enough to do so. 

You didn’t know when he stopped looking at you like that but eventually a few years down the line you and Rafe were more akin than you had ever believed possible. Even if there was still that anger that bubbled underneath Rafe’s skin when he looked at you, a tinge of coldness behind those eyes. 

You were fifteen when Rafe saved you and at that age you still seemed to hate each other more than ever. 

“I can’t believe you’re forcing me to come to the wreck with you and your stupid friends,” you huffed, leaning against the car window. 

“Dad said I need to look after you while they’re out for a few days,” Rafe argued back, yanking your arm off of his window. “You’re going to get marks over my car.” 

You rolled your eyes at him, settling for resting your arms in your lap. “I’m sure he just meant to watch out for me, not drag me to everything you’re doing.” 

“It’s food at the wreck. I’m sure you’ll cope.” 

You didn’t know who you hated more at times, Rafe or his friends. The arrogance that radiated off of them at all times made you want to vomit in your mouth. You never understood why they bothered to come to this side of the island if all they wanted to do was sit and make jokes about the people that lived here. 

It was within ten minutes that you found yourself outside, walking along the boardwalk. The gentle North Carolina breeze brushed against your skin as you stared out into the bay. It was quiet, too cool outside for people to be lingering. 

That’s what you had thought until a familiar voice was calling your name. 

“Y/N… it’s you, isn’t it?” 

Your stomach dropped and as if your body was working on autopilot, you froze to the spot. 

This wasn’t supposed to be happening. Precautions had been put in place to stop this from happening, restraining orders filed and prison walls to keep him locked up and away from you. Wherever Ward had needed to do, he had made sure to do it. 

But clearly it hadn’t been enough as your dad stood a few feet away from you, inching close every second. 

“Baby, I’ve missed you so much,” he said, hands reaching out for you. 

He looked the exact same, the blackness around his eyes from years of addiction and the cracked lips. He sounded the same too. 

And when he took a step forward, you were ten years old all over again. 

“You can’t be here,” you finally spoke, voice barely above a whisper. 

“I-I had to s-see you,” he stuttered, hand reaching forward as he got closer. 

Only now you were finally walking back. 

“Baby. It’s me.” 

“You can’t be near me,” you spoke louder this time, trying to put space between the pair of you.

But your dad was faster and without warning his hand latched around your neck, yanking your body towards him. 

“Dad, please,” you pleaded, eyes wide as you tried to pry his hands from your throat. 

“It was you that put that order against me,” he spat, grip tightening. “I knew it was you.” 

He was shaking, veins popping out the side of his head. You knew the look, it was the first thing you saw when you closed your eyes at night. But it changed slightly, he had never been this enraged before. It was like he wanted to kill you, like taking his temper out on you for years wasn’t enough. 

“It was you that called the police that day, wasn’t it?” 

You shook your head, a sob caught at the back of your throat as you told him, “No, I swear.” 

“Don’t lie to me.” 

“I swear it wasn’t me.” 

“I did five fucking years in that prison because of you.” 

His grip was bruising and you weren’t sure if the fact you couldn’t breathe was because of his hands on your neck or because you were choking on your own sobs. 

Your ears were ringing so loud that you didn’t hear Rafe running over to you. But you saw him when his fist flew into your father’s cheek and you watched as his foot slammed into your father’s body over and over again. 

“Don’t you ever touch her,” Rafe screamed into the man’s face, dropping to his knees as he drove his fist into your father’s face. 

Kelce and Topper eventually pried Rafe off of your father, realising that he probably wasn’t going to stop until he killed him. 

You were surprised he wasn’t already dead yet, his lifeless body covered in blood and bruises as he wheezed out a breath. 

Rafe was quick to cover your view, grabbing your face in his battered hands as he held you. 

“Are you okay?” Rafe questioned, eyes staring into yours. 

You were crying, you hadn’t realised how badly until Rafe touched your soaked cheeks. 

“Why didn’t you scream for me?” His voice was panicked, blue eyes running over you to check you were okay. 

“I’m sorry,” you broke into a fit of sobs, unsure of what else to say. 

Rafe pulled you into his chest, holding you tightly as he wrapped his arms around yours. “You don’t need to apologise. You haven’t done anything wrong, Y/N.” 

Rafe didn’t leave you alone that night and you were grateful for that. It must have been hours before you calmed down, sobs turning into sniffles as Rafe consoled you. But eventually it happened. 

“No ones ever done something like that for me,” you told Rafe, eyes finally peering up at him through wet lashes. 

“I care about you,” Rafe’s voice was gentle as he spoke, a sincerity to it that you had never heard before. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you.” 

You chuckled then, you hadn’t meant to because what you were thinking wasn’t really funny but you had. 

“What?” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I thought you hated me,” you confessed.

“I don’t hate you.” his lips lifted into a smile then. “I guess I haven’t always been the best brother.” 

“That’s okay.” 

“No, it’s not okay. You deserve better.” 

There was a sort of silence that fell over the pair of you then. One you were eager to fill, unsure how to process Rafe’s words. 

“Can I stay here tonight?” You asked.

“Of course.” 

It was Rafe’s gentle breaths that eased you into a sleep that night, face buried into his chest as he continued to hold you. 

That was the first night of many. 

Everytime you found yourself awoken to your own gasps of breath, it was Rafe who you sought after for comfort. You’d always be knocking on his door at odd times in the night, wet round eyes looking up at him, pleading for entrance that he was so willing to give. 

It was Ward that had to intervene, finding you in Rafe’s bed one morning. 

Then sleepovers with Rafe were switched for therapy sessions and while you were desperate to get them back, you knew that going against Ward wasn’t something either of you really wanted to do. 

So you didn’t even though you always really wanted to. 

From then on it was a thin line that you and Rafe tread along. 

One that was quickly blurring with each word that slipped past his lips. 

“It’s fucking disgusting, do you know that?” Rafe spat, storming away with your phone in his hand. “Fucking throwing yourself at my friends like a slut.” 

“He gave me his number. Not the other way round,” you shouted at him, chasing him through the greenery. 

All of Rafe’s friends were staring at you, used to the constant arguments between you and your older brother by now. But luckily you had put some space between you and them, the words that were threatening to spill from your mouth you didn’t want them to hear. 

“And you were lapping every single bit of it up,” he shouted, facing you now. 

“Is that so wrong?” You asked, throwing your hands up in frustration. “I think you seem to forget that my dating life has literally nothing to do with you.” 

You could feel the anger pouring off him, nose flared and eyes narrowed as he stepped closer to you. “It’s hard not to make it my business when you embarrass me in front of all my friends.” 

“Fuck you, Rafe.” You hit your hands on his chest in a pathetic hope it would hurt him. 

He seized your arm, yanking your body towards his. 

“I hate you,” you swore, wishing the words into existence. Even though you knew they’d never come true. 

Rafe saw right through you, shaking his head as he laughed. “You hate me?” 

“I fucking hate you, Rafe. You’re awful.” 

“I guess you won’t mind if I do this then.” 

Within a second your phone was smashed to the ground, his foot following it. 

You screamed at him as he did it, fists flying at him as you kept repeating that you hated him. It’s like he didn’t even hear you, didn’t even feel you as he continued to break your phone into pieces on the ground. 

“You’re a fucking psycho,” you hissed.

He turned to you, eyes clouded with a darkness that almost frightened you. Almost. 

When his hand reached to touch you, you slapped it away. 

“Let’s go,” he demanded, stepping over your phone as he walked to the direction of the car park. 

With a tearful gaze you followed him, not even bothering to pick up your shattered phone on the way. 

There was no use fighting him, not when he was like this. It’s not like you wanted to argue against him, not here anyway. There were things you were itching to say. Things that couldn’t be said in front of the likes of the people here. In front of anyone really. 

When he shoved you into the car, those feelings bubbled up into your chest, hard to ignore when his fingers touched your skin. They dragged along the column of your chest, eyes following them as they trailed upwards, reaching to grip around your throat. 

“Do you like embarrassing me?” He said, voice low as it cut through you. 

“Do you like hurting me?” You retorted back. 

He shook his head, kissing his teeth. “Don’t…” 

He bit down on his words, hand dropping as he turned away from you. 

But you knew exactly what he was going to say. 

Because you were thinking it. 

//

Rafe had been walking on eggshells around the house all evening with you. He lurked behind corners when you were around, clearly waiting for the right moment to talk to you. 

It wasn’t till you were fighting with your late night thoughts, making your way down to the kitchen for a moment of peace, that he found you.

You felt him before you heard him, feeling his body slowly gravitating towards you. 

“Can’t sleep?” 

“No,” you were cold as you answered him. 

“You’re still mad at me,” he stated. 

You twisted around to look at him in the darkness of the kitchen, wanting to glare at him, to cuss him out but you struggled to find the energy to even do so. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

But he didn’t need to apologise, his words barely touching your ears when his scent was crowding your senses. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Rafe shook his head, age turning away from you. “Stop.” 

“I don’t mean to,” you croaked, unable to take your wet gaze away from his face. 

He sighed, rubbing his jaw with his thumb as if taking a second to contemplate something. All it took was another look at you and it was as if his decision had already been made.

“Dad’s gone for the weekend,” he told you, eyes finally lifting up to yours. “He won't be back till Monday.” 

He didn’t need to ask, you both knew what he was saying and you both knew what your answer would be. You’d never said no to Rafe before. Why would tonight be any different? 

You always took the left side of Rafe’s bed. It was the closest to the door, easiest to get to in ungodly hours when you needed him. He was always accommodating, leaving the space for you free even after months of you not being there. It was second nature for both of you at this point, even when you didn’t want it to be. 

There was something oddly comforting about it. The fact that Rafe after months still slept on the same side of the bed as if he was always waiting for you to take the other side.

For years it had always just felt like a delusional fantasy. But in the last few months, especially with the way Rafe had been acting, you felt your mind starting to believe that the feelings you had could possibly be shared. 

It's all you could think about as you stared into his eyes, his fingers playing with yours. It’s all you thought about.

“Rafe,” you whispered. 

He hummed in acknowledgment, fingers sliding under the bottom of your top as he rubbed your sides. 

You couldn’t help but sigh at the subtle touch, stirring a heat inside you that was hard to ignore. 

“What is it?” He asked. 

“You know,” You swallowed, struggling to get the right words out. 

There were so many things to say but how were you even supposed to say them? 

Rafe closed his eyes, hand tightening around your hip as he gripped onto it. He wasn’t trying to hurt you, it was more of a gentle squeeze, something you mistook as reassurance. 

It was hard not to lean into him, brushing your nose against his. Everything about it felt right, even if it was entirely wrong. 

“Rafe,” you breathed, your words touching his lips. 

His hand retracted from you and suddenly his words were saying things you didn’t want to hear. Things you hadn’t expected to hear. 

“Don’t,” it was quiet, hardly above a whisper as it left his lips. 

“What?” You were taken back entirely.

“You can’t stay in here if you’re going to kiss me,” he answered through clenched teeth. 

“Right.” 

But nothing about this felt right as you retreated from him. 

Had you completely misread all the signs? Had you really been feeding so much into your delusional fantasies that actually believed they could come true? 

His hand being snatched was like a final cord that snapped in you and just couldn’t hold back anymore. 

“So you don’t want me but you don’t want anyone else to have me?” You asked, sitting up on the bed. “Make it make sense.” 

“You’re my sister, Y/N. Am I not allowed to be over protective with you?” He retorted back.

“No, because it’s not just that,” your words were getting caught in your throat, desperate to come out. “You- You don’t act that way with a sister and you know that.” 

“You’re reading into things-“ 

“Fuck you, Rafe,” you hit at him, this time it had been with a force that meant to hurt. “I’m not crazy and don’t make me feel like I am.” 

Everything was rising to the service suddenly, all the feelings you had bottled up for years, threatening to drown you if you didn’t let them out. 

“You know how I feel.” Tears filled your eyes as you gazed down at him, pleading for some sort of reaction. 

“Maybe I step over the line of being inappropriate with you,” he tried to say. “And I don’t mean to do that but that doesn’t mean-“ 

“Oh my fucking god,” you almost laughed at his words.

He was spouting bullshit at you, words he probably told millions of other girls after leading them on for ages, only to drop them as if they were nothing more than the dirt on the bottom of his shoe. 

But you weren’t just any girl. 

“You’re going to wake everyone up,” he hissed as if he was mad at you. 

You wanted to hurt him then. You had never wanted to hurt Rafe before, maybe get under his skin from time to time or push his buttons. But you wanted him to bleed for you like you did for him. 

“You’re sick,” you spat at him. 

His hand reached out towards you and you slapped it away. 

“I’m not some random fucking girl, Rafe,” you cried, shaking beside him. “You’re evil.” 

You couldn’t even look at him, too scared of how you might react. 

You needed to leave that room, try and save the last bit of sanity you might have left. 

It wasn’t hard when Rafe didn’t even try to pull you back in, not even saying anything to make you stay. 

“You know I didn’t want to say it before but you do remind me of him.” 

The last place you had expected to find yourself had been the cut, drinking and smoking with Sarah and her friends. But after a week of you wallowing in your own self pity, Sarah was growing incredibly worried. Most of your household was. 

You wondered if they knew what happened, especially with the way you acted in the house. It wasn’t hard to notice you were avoiding Rafe in your own home. You two were always drawn to each other, practically spending every second together in that house, to laugh, to chat, to fight. It didn’t matter how happy or upset you were, you were always found together. 

But every time he stepped into a room, you were looking to find the quickest exit. Never being in a room with him for longer than a second. 

You needed space from him as much as you possibly could get. As much as he would even allow you. 

You weren’t sure if Rafe knew where you were and there was some part in you that hoped he did, wanting him to be so angry with you in this second. You just wanted him to feel something for you, even if it came through a deep anger that had you flinching from him. 

You swallowed the rest of your drink at that, trying to forget even if it was just for a few seconds. But there was always something pulling you back in. 

This time it was Sarah, phone in hand as she grabbed your attention with a call of your name. 

“Yeah?” You asked, trying to muster a small smile. 

“It’s Rafe,” she told you, signaling to her phone. “He won’t stop calling me. He’s asking to speak to you.” 

“No,” you simply said but your face twisted into something hideous. 

You could tell in the way Sarah instantly listened to you, telling Rafe some excuse about why you wouldn’t talk to me. 

But you knew she wouldn’t drop it that easily. It’s why seconds later you found her sitting next to you, wearing a weary look as she took you in. 

“You know you can talk to me,” Sarah whispered, hand reaching out for yours. 

“I know,” you nodded. 

“Did something happen between you and Rafe?” She asked, squeezing your hand. 

You looked at her then, furrowing your brows. 

“Did he do something to you?” 

You snatched your hand from hers, eyes widening at her suggestion. 

“I see the way he looks at you,” she continued, a scowl sitting on her lips as the thought crossed her mind. “It’s sickening.” 

“He didn’t touch me,” you confessed.

How were you supposed to tell her that was the reason you were upset? Because he wouldn’t touch you. 

“Can’t I just be mad at him because he’s the biggest asshole on this whole island?” 

“You can say that again,” she agreed. “We all hate him here.” 

“I don’t hate him,” the words rolled off your tongue like second nature, always ready to defend Rafe even when you knew you shouldn’t.

“I don’t get it,” she sarcastically laughed, shaking her head. “I swear Rafe could burn this whole island to the ground, taking me and the rest of our family with it and you’d just hold his hand as he did it.” 

“That’s not true, Sarah.” Your face softened when you looked at her. “You mean everything to me.” 

“But Rafe means more, right?” 

“No.” You shook your head. “It’s different with Rafe. You know that.” 

“But he’s a bad person.” 

“You know how he’s been there for me. When literally no one else has. You know what he’s done for me.” 

“I know that he saved you from your dad-“ 

She reached out to touch you again but this time you didn’t want to hear it, moving to walk away. But Sarah followed. 

“I know that must have been awful for you but you can’t just let him hold that over you,” her voice grew as she chased you, catching the eyes of the group. 

“I don’t let him hold that over me.” You both knew that was a lie. 

“He treats you like shit,” she screamed at you, making you finally turn her way. “He treats everyone terribly but I honestly think he treats you the worst. I don’t get it because you just let him.” 

“You don’t have to understand,” your voice was shaky as you spoke, arms crossing over your chest. “I don’t need you to understand because honestly I don’t understand it myself.” 

“He’s never going to treat you the way you want him to treat you.” Sarah looked at you defeated, arms held up as she backed away. “It’s not in Rafe’s nature to be nice.” 

You couldn’t tell your sister that you didn’t exactly want Rafe to be nice to you. 

In reality you couldn’t care if he was nice to you.

You enjoyed it when he was mean to you, bitter words cutting through you when he wanted to get under your skin. 

And sure if the only way he was going to touch you would be a bruising grip on your wrists or his hand wrapped around your throat, you’d take it. 

But you did also crave for him to be nice to you, sweet like when he soothed your cries with his fingers grazing your back. His voice gentle as he hushed you, lying beside you in his bed. 

You wanted every bit of Rafe you could get, the good and the bad. You wanted all of it for yourself. 

But that wasn’t happening anytime soon, not with his arm draped around some random girl. 

You hadn’t known why you forced yourself to come to this party, the annual bonfire was usually something you attended with Rafe by your side. It was your thing. 

The idea of booze and friendly faces, had been a nice idea earlier this morning. But as you stared around the familiar faces, you felt nothing but dread. 

Dread at the thought that this was how life was going to be. A constant numbness holding your body captive. 

“You want another one?” JJ asked, holding a can out for you. 

“Thanks,” you nodded, taking it from his hands.

“You know you don’t have to stand over here by yourself,” JJ stated, bumping his elbow with yours. “We don’t bite even if Rafe says we do.” 

Your face flushed in embarrassment at that, you didn’t want them to think you thought of them like that. There had been days when you possibly had judged them too harshly, you had never meant to, it was just easier to listen to Rafe then. 

Even though you could tell JJ meant it as a joke, your lips parted instantly wanting to defend yourself.

“It’s not like that,” you tried to reassure him. “I’m just-“ 

“I’m joking with you,” he chuckled lightly. 

Your body relaxed at that and you couldn’t help but smile. 

“You want to talk about what’s got you so down?” He asked, taking space beside you. “Or are you one of those that drinks their problems away.” 

You took another swig from your, answering his questions. 

“I see.” 

“I’m not actually much of a drinker if I’m honest,” you told him. “My- uh-” You weren’t sure why you were saying it but JJ made you feel comfortable, feeling the honesty slip from you. 

“Your dad?” The amused tone had dropped from his voice, smile faded as he took a swig from his beer. “I know the feeling, trust me.” 

“Yeah.” You forget that almost everyone knew about your situation. Rafe’s saviour moment when you were fifteen had been spread across all local newspapers. 

“But you know can’t let trauma hold you back.” He pressed the bottle to his lips with a smirk and a wink in your direction. “When in Rome.” 

You laughed at that, catching you off guard as you responded, “We’re not in rome.” 

“I know.” He shrugged, smiling along with you. 

JJ would be good for you. He seemed sweet and genuine, he understood a lot of the trauma you had gone through. You had heard enough about him through Sarah and Kiara when they were around and if he treated girls anything like how John B treated Sarah, you were sure he would be a catch. 

But as your eyes peered into his and your laughter died down, you could only think of one person. The same person who was burning holes in the back of your skull as you turned to face him. 

Rafe was still standing on his side of the bonfire but the girl that had been all over him before was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t walk over to you, didn’t say anything or motion to follow him but as feet took off, you already found yourself making an excuse. 

“I’m really sorry but I got to run,” you told JJ, trying your best to give him an apologetic glance. 

He nodded, not seeming too disappointed nor surprised at your sudden departure but there was a slight look of confusion on his face. 

You ignored it, not really caring about it as you pushed yourself to your feet. All you could think about was following Rafe’s larger steps, letting him lead you to where all the cars were parked, where no one else would be able to see you. 

His truck was in a secluded area, parked by trees that shadowed it. It wasn’t close to any walkways and it was enclosed by other surrounding cars. 

It didn’t surprise you when you were suddenly slammed to Rafe’s door, a hand wrapping around your throat to keep you held there. He always lurked in the eerie silence, waiting for a moment to pounce Rafe, especially when it came to you. But what had surprised you was how tight his grip was, finding yourself wheezing for air as you looked at him. 

“You like slutting it out for pogues, hmm?” He hissed, leaning into you. 

Even in the darkness you could see how blown out his eyes were, the light shade of blue being overpowered by black. When his grip tightened even more, you actually became frightened, eyes widening at the sight of him. 

“Like opening your legs for trash?” He spat. 

You let out a strangled breath, becoming frantic as you tore at his hand to get off. Normally that was all that it would take but today Rafe wasn’t letting up and your pleas were being ignored. 

“So angry with me that you would debase yourself like that. I mean my friends were one thing.” He shook his head, jaw clenching as tears glazed his eyes. “But fucking JJ Maybank.” 

He dropped you then, letting you collapse to the ground as he took a step away from you. 

You were gasping for breath, hand holding onto your neck in disbelief of what had just happened. 

All of a sudden Sarah’s words rang in your head and you thought maybe you didn’t want to be treated like this anymore. 

“I can’t even look at you right now.” 

Your head twisted around at that, finding Rafe’s pacing form as you said, “You can’t look at me right now?” Tears were streaming down your face as you took a second to get up, staring at him in disbelief. “Are you serious?” 

Rafe turned around, eyes narrowing at you. 

“You’re exactly like him-” 

“Don’t fucking start with that bullshit,” He went to argue, pointing in your face. 

“No, you are,” you laughed, finally realising. “You’re exactly like my dad. Everytime you hurt me you always have a reason to blame me. It’s always my fault.” 

Rafe smirked at that, nodding as if he was in agreement. “Yeah, it’s why you always come running back when I apologise. So eager for more.” 

Your hand connected with his face and you heard it before you felt it. Your hand stung afterwards and when Rafe began to laugh as a reaction, you immediately regretted it. 

“Is it my turn?” He questioned, a smug smirk on his lips. 

“You’re sick.” Tears were streaming down your face, painting your cheeks and chin. Yet he didn’t seem to care one bit. 

He only turned away, stepping round the truck and calling out to you. “Get in.” 

Without hesitation you did. 

(Dividers by @cafekitsune)

[foreverautumn89]

One thing you should know is that Steve spoils the hell out of Jonathan whenever he can. Yes Steve's parents are rich but he works at the video store so Steve doesn't have a lot of money, but the little money he does have, he uses it to take Jonathan out or get him gifts.

His lack of money doesn't stop him from trying to spoil Jonathan. Even though Jonathan usually pays for himself because he doesn't feel right when he doesn't, but over the years of being together hes allowed Steve to pay for him more because Steve likes to give him gifts like that. Steve gives him all sorts of gifts. Sometimes its taking Jonathan out on an 'adventure' and other times its actual gifts. Steve knows that Jonathan isn't like the majority of girls he dated before.

Jonathan doesn't expect Steve to spend his money on him and Jonathan likes gifts that are from the heart which don't always require money. Jonathan doesn't like some generic gift like chocolates or flowers, but gifts that show you really know the person and want to give them something that will truly make them happy. And most of the time time that doesn't require money to give Jonathan something special and make him happy.

Jonathan is just as happy when they go walking through the woods holding hands and hanging out by the lake. Jonathan is just as happy when they don't go out anywhere and just stay in and cuddle and watch a movie Steve sitting up right while Jonathan is cuddling with him, his head resting against Steve's chest while Steve has his arms wrapped around him. Or even when they stay in listening to music in Jonathan's room with the window open the breeze softly drifting in as they smoke and playfully argue about music.

But then there are times where they save up their money or Steve's parents treat them and they go out on adventures that do cost money like to the water parks, amusements parks, Christmas light shows [Jonathan loves lights especially Christmas lights], haunted houses ext ext... They just love seeing and trying new things together a different haunted house than last year for example.

They want to explore and see everything try new things/explore new places/live their lives to the fullest and they always make the most of it when they do and have fun being a couple and being free from the people of Hawkins for hours. This is why they usually end up sneaking away and making out somewhere when they go out. Free from anyone from Hawkins seeing them. Well...except for the kids who always find them and look amused yet unimpressed with their shenanigans as if they're the parents in this situation because they're done with the cotton candy or treat that one of them bought now and want to go explore. And except for any friends they bring with them like for example Argyle Eddie and Robin who were supposed to be watching the kids and look just as amused finding them like that.

.

to be continued. this isn't a story but rather a bunch of headcanons that were in drafts that keep getting away from me and trying to turn itself into a story. I meant to get Stonathan stuff posted for years and never write it down. So this is me trying to change that. I realized that I have so much Stonathan content going on in my head all the time 24/7 and none of you know about any of it really. The Stonathan I have going on in my head is so advanced and a long term established relationship and there is so much to tell you and yet none of you know cause I don't post it. I usually try to perfect things before I post them but if I keep doing that these will never see the light of day. So its not always going to be great entries but I figured its better than me not doing it at all and trying to play catch up later when its too late.. Expect delivery to be very slow though because I have so much going on...

[supercorpkid]

I was going to send this as an ask too bc tumblr screwed me and put my reblog as a draft but then I saw the new pics of Katie McGrath, got distracted and forgot about it until now lol

Anyways

So, ok, I need to ask (and you can say no, no problem at all) but ever since I read The Other Kryptonian I can’t stop thinking about how I just can’t fucking choose between Kara and Lena!!! You wrote it so fucking well that I can’t choose one and see the other sad. So, could you do an alternative ending where reader end up with both?

I even have this headcanon (I have a bunch of them for this story tbh) where she says she now has two hearts (bc of the device Lena made for her) and they belong to two people, so she can’t choose.

I actually have the whole thing in my mind but idk if you’d like to read it all

But as an added bonus: I also see Lena and Kara falling in love for each other and reader kinda seeing this happen but not wanting to interfere and let them do it in their own pace

The Other Kryptonian - alternative ending.

Ending with both Kara and Lena :)

Word Count: 3215.

Notes: damn it was fun revisiting this story. Hope you enjoy this!

part 1, part 2, part 3

They are all so nice. All of their friends are nice and genuinely good. It makes your guilt sit heavier on your stomach because they are heroes saving the world from people like you. Your heart is also heavy, you don’t think you can tell them many of the awful things you’ve done.

After a while talking with all of them, you spot Lena coming out of the elevator. You don’t know exactly what your face says, but Lena can read it perfectly when she comes closer and holds your free hand -the one Kara isn’t still holding.

“I’m glad you all got a chance to meet Y/N, but I think it’s time for her to rest.” Lena blinks at you, etched with support. You nod, suddenly feeling that you should rest for sure.

“You know, I was about to say that.” Alex adds, her hand makes way to your shoulder, and she squeezes lightly. “Go rest, we’ll be here when you wake up.”

Kara looks at you, query in her eyes. “You ok? I can fly you home so you can rest better.”

“Oh.”

Home.

That’s a word you haven’t said in a while. Where would that be? The room Lex used to keep you in? Your old house in Midvale? The ship? Krypton?

“I think Kara meant her home.” Lena explains when she sees how confused you are. “But maybe you should come with me.”

It’s almost unnoticeable, but at that Kara holds your hand a little bit tighter. And Lena’s heart beats a little bit faster.

“No. I mean, what if Lex comes back for her? I have to protect her.”

“Well, she can protect herself, she is also Kryptonian. Besides, I should be around to see if the second heart is working properly.”

Alex, hearing that, takes one little step backwards, aware of something you are not. Everyone else that was watching the interaction, looked somewhere else and engaged in meaningless conversations. You look down on your hands, intertwined with both women, feeling incapable of letting go of any of them.

“If the heart stops working, I’ll fly her back here in a blink of an eye.”

“Sure, and if Lex comes back for her I’ll use the watch and you’ll be there in a blink as well, won’t you?” Lena pulls your hand slowly. “Besides, I have extra space. Your apartment would be kind of cramped. She needs to actually rest; she won’t be able to do that on your couch.”

“My couch is very comfortable.” Kara speaks out of greeted teeth. “And she would obviously sleep in the bed with me. We’ve done that many times before, right Y/N?”

You’re not sure it’s a real question when Kara gives Lena a wry smile. Everyone else in the room is clearly trying to hide their discomfort at the situation, but all breathes are stuck in their lungs after the question, and you can feel the tension wrapping around your throat as your breath also gets stuck in your lungs.

“Oh.” And all of sudden all eyes are on you. “Maybe I should stay on the med bay?” You plead at Alex with your eyes, and she agrees promptly.

“Yes! I have yet to clear her permanently.” Alex comes back closer, hands on your shoulders. “Well, come on. A little bit more of the yellow sunlight won’t hurt.”

Both let go of your hand, unable to argue with that logic. Alex helps you back into the med bay, turning the yellow lights back on.

“You know,” She starts, giving you another pillow so you can get more comfortable. If only she knew this is the most comfortable you’ve been in years. “It’s a hard choice, but one you’ll have to make.” Alex taps on your hand lightly. “I can’t hide you out here forever.”

You let out a smile at that, and she smiles back at you.

“Hey,” You call her a moment before she leaves the room. “Thank you. Lena told me you’ve helped, and I know you did the surgery too. I know I’m a wanted criminal…” You choke on your words after that. It’s true, but still not easy to admit it out loud.

Alex assures you. “It was all Lex. I can tell the difference.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t really like me before that either.” You force a smile out.

“Water under the bridge.”

And just like that, all of those times you thought about Alex and why she hated you faded away.

It’s funny, having dreams. You were never once for having different dreams every night. But this time there was no falling from the sky. No yelling for you to run and protect yourself. No begging for your safety whatsoever.

It was only blue and green. Blue sky. Green grass. Blue ocean. Green trees. Blue eyes. Green eyes. Love and love.

It’s a hard choice, but one you’ll have to make.

It's a decision between secrets, deep understanding, familiar touches, hearts that play the same symphony, and love. It’s about going back to what is known. To what was supposed to happen all along. It’s choosing blue.

It’s a decision between blunt honesty, desperate trust, touch-starved skins, strong holds on hearts, and love. It’s about taking the leap. It’s about closing the distance your body has been protesting all along. It’s choosing green.

A hard choice, indeed.

--------------- different ending starts here ---------------

You wake up to the warmth of the artificial sun on your skin. You haven't felt this good in—well, maybe ever. Now, you're free to use your powers as you wish, not at the command of others. And best of all, beside you are the two women you’ve loved most in your life.

"Baby," you hear, the voice as familiar as your own heartbeat. You open your eyes, hardly daring to believe they aren’t playing tricks on you. But there she is—Kara Danvers, standing in front of you with a hot plate of waffles, just like she used to when you were both teenagers. And right beside her is Lena Luthor, her eyes bright as she hands you a steaming mug of coffee. You think this might be the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen.

"Can we talk to you for a little bit?" Lena asks gently.

You nod, a bit wary of revisiting the uncomfortable situation from last night. Kara places the plate on the bed, and you start eating before either of them can say another word. It’s been ten long years since you last had waffles, and you’d forgotten just how good they taste. Your mouth is full when Lena begins again.

"We talked about what happened last night." Lena pulls a chair over and sits down in front of you. Kara turns off the sunlight simulator, then joins her, sitting down in front of you.

"We don’t want that to ever happen again," Kara says, reaching for your hand. "We made you uncomfortable, and everyone around us." She takes a deep breath, clearly holding back tears. "It’s obvious that we both have feelings for you. You were the only person I’ve ever loved like this. I tried to have other relationships, but no one understands me like you. No one ever will."

"I know," you whisper, biting your lip to keep the tears at bay. "I feel the same."

"And I would give anything to have you by my side again. It would be—Rao, baby, it would be everything. We’d fly around the world, helping people like we always dreamed. And you’d finally get to explore Earth’s history. There are so many things I want you to see."

You squeeze her hand tighter. "Why are you saying this like it can’t happen?"

"It could. But I'm not going to make you choose me. I want you to be happy, and if happy is Lena, then — then I want that for you."

"And I want the same." Lena says reaching for your free hand. "I want you to have it all. You’re here, and you’re safe. And I finally have you next to me and darling, I’ll do everything I can to give back all that Lex stole from you." Lena smiles at you and you can no longer hold the tears back. "If you want to be with Kara, I'll support you no matter how I feel. I’m not going to hold you back from happiness"

"I—" There's a tennis size ball on your throat and you can't even swallow. "I can't decide. I love both of you. And I — I need the two of you equally. I've gone so long alone. I don't want that anymore."

Kara's arms are the first you feel around you, but Lena is quick to hold you too. 

"You are never going to be alone again, darling. We are all here for you."

The embrace feels like home, a place you never thought you'd find again. The warmth of Lena's arms, the steady comfort of Kara's presence—these are the things you've missed for so long. The weight of years of loneliness and fear melts away in their hold.

When you finally pull back, you see the tears in their eyes mirror your own. Kara's smile is soft, and Lena’s touch on your cheek is gentle, grounding you in this moment.

“I don’t know how this will work, or if it will at all.” you admit, voice trembling. “But I don’t want to lose either of you. I can’t.”

Kara nods, squeezing your hand. “We’ll figure it out together," she says, extending her hand to Lena. In a moment, they’re holding hands too. "All of us.”

For the first time in what feels like forever, you allow yourself to hope. Maybe this can work. Maybe you don’t have to choose. Maybe love doesn’t have to be divided like it has been all your life. Maybe the three of you can find a way to share it.

The tension that once filled the room dissipates, replaced by a sense of peace. You take a deep breath, feeling lighter than you have in years.

Lena looks at you, her eyes full of warmth. “You don’t have to rush anything, darling. We have time now. We'll figure out how to make this work for the three of us.”

Kara nods in agreement. “Yeah, there’s no need to decide everything right now. Let’s just take it one step at a time.”

You smile at both of them, feeling a sense of relief. “I’d like that.”

Kara's eyes smile, as well as the rest of her face, and she comes closer to kiss your forehead. You close your eyes to it, can't help but to. It's been years since your touch-starved skin has received any love, any proof that you are deserving of more than suffering. You can’t help the way your heart swirls with joy at this small gesture.

It's almost too long to be considered innocent. And before you even open your eyes, you feel another pair of lips, and you can't believe how well you know the difference, kissing your temple.

"I was never not thinking about you." Lena whispers in your ear, and a smile tugs at your lips, unbidden but welcome.

"I've missed you everyday since the last time I saw you." Kara whispers in your other ear, and you feel another kiss being planted on your cheek. 

And another on the other cheek. And another on the tip of your nose. Eye. Chin. Every inch of your face is showered with love and devotion, and your heart, Rao! Your heart has been beating so fast and hard, you're scared of failing you.

"We'd do anything for you." You're not sure who said that, or at least who started the sentence, but you know that by the end of it, both voices had mingled and it was your favorite sound. 

You slowly open your eyes, when you don't feel any kisses on your face for a few seconds. Kara and Lena are still so close, you can feel that you are all sharing the same breath. Eyes so close, blue and green are about to become one. Or even better, yours.

"Please," You reach for their faces, each palm on one of their cheeks. "Please," You beg again. You beg with your mouth, and with your eyes. Your love begs in silence and preaches in scream.

"Anything you want." 

Lena's lips touch yours for a brief second before they are replaced by Kara's and oh Rao, if only you knew all along this would be your future. If only you knew it was not a choice, but a balance. Not division, but unity. If only you knew you'd get what you've been searching for all your life.

"Lena," You blink at her and you can read her eyes perfectly as if you never once stopped seeing them, "I — I love you. It's you and all the things you do. You're all that I would think about."

She blinks too, starry-eyed and understanding. Face etched with love and desire. So, before you even ask her permission for it, she leans in, her lips meeting yours, her breath mingling with yours. This—this feels sacred, like something holy. And who else would hold you if not her?

It's perfect, incredible, but there is an itch on your throat, there's something more to be said. There's someone else to be touched and felt and loved. And Lena knows it too, for when she separates your lips, she gives you a nod and space so you can tell Kara what you need.

"Kara," You hold her face close to yours so you can whisper in her mouth, "Shovuhodh khuhp w rraop ehm tiv ewuhshehd im tiv aorghuhs uldifirstunia chao ukep."

Kara's eyes are full of tears because she remembers your mom teaching both of you a few sentences in Kryptonian and this is one you'd always say while looking deep inside Kara's eyes. I love you to the end of the ever-expanding universe and back.

And as an answer, she holds your face closer and kisses you like she would all those years ago. Hearts synchronizing playing the known symphony. Souls bleeding so. And who's gonna know you if not her?

This happens once every few lifetimes. You're sure. Who else can tell that they found love in two beautiful souls? In two people who care about you so deeply, they're willing to share and come together and overflow. 

When you look at their faces again, you're sure. The three of you will be able to make this work. The certainty is bone-deep within you.

But your life has never been just about good things. In fact, it rarely was. Even as your heart swells with love, threatening to burst from your chest, a voice slices through the warmth, pulling you back to a darker reality. And in a heartbeat, you find yourself thrust to the opposite end of the emotional spectrum.

“You all have something that belongs to me,” Lex’s voice cuts through the air, icy and cruel. Panic surges through your body, locking the breath in your lungs as your eyes widen in fear.

“Stay here,” Kara instructs, rising to her feet immediately. But Lena senses the shift in the atmosphere and follows her instinct, standing up as well. You’re left behind in the med bay, though you can see and hear everything unfold with alarming clarity.

“I’m sorry, sis," Lex sneers. "But I won’t share my pet with you. I thought I made that perfectly clear. Now hand it back, or suffer the consequences.”

A kryptonite gun gleams menacingly in his hand, and it’s pointed straight at Kara’s head. No. No. You will not let this happen. Lex will not hurt anyone else because of you, nor will he use you as a weapon against the people you love. Without a second thought, you speed into the room, positioning yourself in front of Kara and Lena, shielding them from the man who’s tormented you for so long.

“Lex,” you say, your voice steady despite the storm raging within.

“Oh, there she is. Come on, alien," he taunts, brandishing a remote control in front of you. But you hold your ground, eyes fixed on his face.

“You can’t hurt me," you declare with quiet resolve.

Lex scoffs, then presses the button meant to flood your body with kryptonite. But nothing happens. His face contorts in disbelief, fury simmering beneath the surface. He doesn't wear his frustration for long, though, as he snarls through clenched teeth, “I can always hurt you.”

You glance back at Kara and Lena, and in that moment, you know his threat is hollow. No matter what Lex does, no matter how much kryptonite he throws at you or how far his malice reaches, these two women would lay down their lives for you—just as you would for them.

“Are you sure you want to do that?” you warn, gesturing to those standing around you. “You’ve managed to piss off two Kryptonians, one Martian, one Coluan, one human-Naltorian, one badass agent, and your genius sister. Do you really think that a kryptonite gun will save you now that you’ve run out of people to fight your battles for you?”

It’s not the victory you’ve fantasized about for years, nor the vengeance you once craved. It doesn’t come close to the justice he deserves for all the horrors he’s unleashed. But to watch Lex Luthor stand down, to see the realization dawn on him that he no longer holds any power over you feels more liberating than anything you could have imagined.

“Don’t come near us again,” you say, your voice filled with the steel of conviction. “You know the terrible things I’ve done for you, and what I’m capable of doing to you now.” It’s an empty threat, but he doesn’t know that.

“Aliens,” he spits, disgusted, before opening a portal and vanishing from the Tower.

Lena's house is huge, but lacks character. Kara is happy to change that by moving things from her flat. Slowly, the space begins to fill with her colorful additions—bright pillows, whimsical lamps, and blue throw blankets that add a pop of warmth to the cool, neutral tones.

Lena’s massive bed, once so wide and cold, feels smaller now. Cozier. Especially with you sandwiched between the two of them, pillows surrounding you like a fortress.

Routine comes easily. What started as one-on-one moments with each of them gradually blossoms into a shared rhythm, a natural flow in which all three of you find comfort, passion, and peace in each other’s arms. Their love for you is steadfast, unwavering, and it only deepens with time. Just as your love for them grows stronger, you also witness the quiet affection they nurture for each other getting less hinted and more obvious. You’re grateful that you get to see it unfold, to experience it up close.

It turns out, you do have a home. It may have taken you long to figure it out, but now you know. Home, for you, is not a place—it’s the people who complete you. Kara is your Krypton—your origin, your understanding, your soulmate. Lena is your Earth—your deep-rooted connection, your forged and enduring love.

And together, it feels just like home.

[oneknightstand-if]

I'm not quite sure I understand how an amnesiac changeling who stole an identity works-

So what, the MC is rescued from the desert, disappears, finds a dead body that looks like them and then just takes their identity?

So they... basically do what changelings did in mythology but at a later age? Gotta say that's mildly hilarious- who's to say that's not the baby changeling mc was possibly meant to replace? Also this does mean they sort of lose their identities twice huh? Once as whoever they used to be, and once more as an amnesiac. Losing one identity, picking up another one. There's a joke there somewhere.

GDI I had this all typed up and ready to post and then came a multi-hour power outage. Thanks for saving nothing, Tumblr Drafts.

The abbreviated version now... the Imposter and Changeling backgrounds are mutually exclusive. You can't have more than one major secret at a time. The Amnesiac Changeling came stumbling out of the desert one day with no memories besides a niggling feeling that they weren't human. As far as anyone knows, they never replaced anyone.

Same for the infant Abandoned Changeling who just popped up in the maternity ward. The only ones who might've replaced someone in a family would be Abuse & Accident Changeling.

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

Sacred New Beginnings

Anon requested “Alec moving in with Magnus and how it happened (Post COHF)”

I had initially copied the fic into the ask and saved it as a draft, but tumblr being tumblr somehow made that disappear, so here we go again. Link to Ao3 in the title.

*****

It’d been a week since the New Year’s ball dropped in Times Square.

Alec didn’t really know what that meant. Was there a literal ball dropped at Times Square? Anyways, Clary had told Jace about it, and Jace had pretty much integrated it into his vocabulary, and it was now rubbing off on Alec. It was kind of annoying.

They didn’t really do much to celebrate the New Year, since Clary and Isabelle - and even Jace though he wouldn’t admit it, were carrying the hole of Simon’s loss.

Alec… Alec wasn’t sure what he was feeling about it. He was obviously grateful to Simon - Simon had sacrificed himself so that Magnus could come home, after all. But underneath it all, there was a sense of guilt. A strange feeling of helplessness. He should’ve been able to save Magnus. He should’ve done something to save Simon.

There was no point dwelling on it, however. All he could do was move forward.

He and Magnus were slowly working on building their relationship back up.

They talked on the phone everyday - Alec had always been awkward with phone calls. When you were talking to someone face to face, and there was a silence, it wasn’t awkward because other gestures would fill the gap. When you’re on the phone, however, there’s always an expectation to keep talking. 

But it was different with Magnus. Magnus always called him at the oddest moments - when he was making potions, or taking a stroll somewhere. One time he called from the shower and Alec had almost dropped his phone.

They also went on a few dates, half of which were spent at Magnus’s home. It was a strange feeling, being there again - it was all so familiar and so alien all at once. Like returning home from a long vacation.

Today, Alec decided to drop by after a long patrol for a shower, and just to spend some time with Magnus. 

Magnus was thankfully still awake - Alec had given him a quick call beforehand since it was late, and since he didn’t have his key back yet. Alec still found himself reaching for his pocket for the key, sometimes. He didn’t know when Magnus would give it to him, and he didn’t know how to ask, either.

Later, Magnus was lying on his side, watching as Alec had stepped out of the bathroom, having already changed into a loose fitting t-shirt and sweatpants. There was something shimmering deep under the surface of Magnus’s eyes.

There were lots of times when Alec saw a faraway look on Magnus’s face, or just any look that he didn’t know how to decipher, and let it go. Now, though, they were trying to change things.

So, he knelt down next to the bed, tilting his head so he could meet Magnus’s eyes, and asked, “What are you thinking about?”

Magnus’s eyes slid down to his shirt - he reached out with a slender finger, tracing it down Alec’s front. “You changed inside the bathroom,” he pouted. “I wanted to see your abs.”

Alec chuckled. He leaned in closer, folding his arms on top of the bedspread and resting his chin on them.

“What are you really thinking of?”

Magnus blinked slowly, languidly, as if he was drunk. Alec wondered if he actually was.

He rose slowly, balancing himself on one elbow. His other arm was stretched out, fingers brushing along the side of Alec’s face, curling in the wet locks of his hair.

”I’m thinking,” his voice was slurry. “I want you to bring us both a cup of coffee each, then you tell me about your day and I’ll tell you about mine, and then we can fall asleep together.”

Alec’s eyes fell half shut as he imagined the picture Magnus was painting. That was how most of their nights ended before… before…

He caught Magnus’s hand - the one fiddling with his hair - and pressed it against his damp cheek.

Magnus’s hand was cool, but Alec felt warm all over.

”Are you drunk?” Alec asked.

A sudden bright flash of a grin appeared on Magnus’s face. “On you, baby.”

Alec laughed. “Magnus!”

Magnus was laughing along, eyes crinkling. Alec sometimes had images in his mind, of those crinkly lines permanently etched onto Magnus’s face.

He would never see that sight. But it was alright.

Magnus was now sitting upright, legs dangling over the side of the bed. His hands were both on Alec’s face, holding it in place as he planted an infinitely tender kiss on his forehead.

“I miss you,” he whispered with a sigh.

”I’m right here,” Alec said.

”You are now,” Magnus sighed again.

Alec leant back a little, just enough to look into Magnus’s eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Magnus’s eyes were serious, lips parted slightly as if something heavy rested on the tip of his tongue.

”Magnus?” Alec asked gently.

Magnus shook his head, his hand caressing Alec’s face.

”Alexander?” He said gently. Alec shivered. He’d spent weeks thinking he’d never get to hear his name spoken like that again.

”Hm?”

”What do you think about… you know…”

”About what?”

Magnus hesitated a moment. “About living here again.”

Oh.

Suddenly, Magnus’s behavior all made sense.

Alec’s heart skipped several beats at once.

He wanted to say yes immediately. He wanted to say that he’d always thought of this place as home.

But the truth was that he’d spent weeks trying to forget home. He’d realised the hard way that even when you found home, it was always a place that could be ripped away from him.

Alec must’ve been silent too long, because Magnus lowered his head and said, “I can’t understand if you don’t want to-“

”No!” Alec hurried to say. “No, I- I want to. It’s just…” Alec bit his lip. “I thought we were supposed to take things slow?”

Magnus looked relieved for a second, and then pouted and sighed exaggeratedly.

”Alexanderrrr,” he whined, throwing his arms around Alec and burying his face in Alec’s neck. “Fuck taking things slow! I miss you. I miss waking up next to you and I miss showering with you and eating with you. Chairman misses you. The coffee machine hasn’t seen any action in two months and neither have these sheets and I just-“

Alec laughed, his own arms now twining around Magnus’s neck and pulling him in closer.

”Alright, alright,” he said. “Just give me a few days to sort out things at the Institute and then I’ll move in, okay?”

”Okay,” Magnus agreed with a sigh, his breath warm against Alec’s skin. “I’m glad.”

”Me too,” Alec said, relaxed at last.

Finally, he had returned home.

[eluxcastar]

The little sisterfication of Sandrone

── ୨୧：sandrone & reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: sandrone being a moody tsundere child but it's cute

୨୧﹑genre :: fluff

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, child character

୨୧﹑words :: 828

omg so I meant to do more of these back when I posted childe's but then I just never got around to it Idk why because they were cute and people wanted more of them and I actually have one for scaramouche in my drafts?? so here's sandrone

all little siblingification posts

Sandrone is not the fondest of her family, and I really don't think she ever has been, but there are exceptions, as with everything. She still holds you dear to her even now.

She misses your affections, really, like being sat in front of you while you would fix her hair. She likes how it feels as you brush the knots out of her hair, gentle enough not to hurt too much and overly apologetic to every noise she makes so that you know she's not too hurt by it. She doesn't know how you did it, just that she would recreate it in a heartbeat.

There were also the times you'd carry her around on your back, body tired and walking becoming too difficult. While her parents didn't want to hear of it, you were on your knees in a heartbeat, offering she gets on. Sandrone liked how close she got to be to you, snuggling up to your back, arms loosely around your neck as she looked over your shoulder and watched the streets go by. Your parents never liked your doing that, but you never seemed to care, laughing it off and carrying on, refusing to put her down.

You didn't care if she denied her liking for things or hid her overexcitement. The moment she wanted to go somewhere, you would take her if you could. Festivals, stores, events, the theatre if you had the money. You would save up every single mora you worked for to be able to take her to the theatre for her birthday and let her watch the performance. She was only vaguely aware of how little your parents contributed toward that, thinking they had been a part of it just as you told her it was a gift from all of you.

She'd go on talking about it for weeks, then start again by the time her next birthday came.

She loved the snacks you'd sneak her, buying her things while the two of you were out and feeding them to her over your shoulder, even your own snacks, which she claimed to not want, but would gobble up without a hint of hesitation before admitting they were only "Ok".

Along with these trips she remembers, Sandrone treasures every doll you made her. Even the wonky ones you tried to make by hand when you were a little short on cash. They weren't particularly pretty in a conventional sense and didn't have the same flawless charm as many dolls, nor were they made of porcelain.

Your handmade fabric dolls are imperfectly perfect. The eyes are a bit misaligned, and maybe the mouth is crooked. The arms aren't the same length either, but it hardly matters to her. It was your gift to her, and though she couldn't sit with you and marvel at how beautiful she was like your other gifts of dolls, she could certainly do that herself.

She could sit those dolls among her collection and treat them like priceless works of care and passion because they were. You may not be and probably never will be a famous dollmaker, but they're the most valuable in her heart.

No famous artist would make something that unprofessional, but something about that makes it better. It was made with your love for her.

Besides, she's still sleeping with the first one you made her. Porcelain dolls don't make very good bed buddies. Especially not when trying to sneak into your sibling's bed in the middle of the night to cuddle them where you feel safest. Somehow even if she's so sure she can go back to sleep after she wakes up, she will lay there for what feels like hours (it has been five minutes) and try to sleep only to concede that the other way to sleep is to go get in your bed and cuddle you.

She usually wakes up without you, wrapped up in blankets to keep her warm, and to you shaking her awake after leaving her to sleep in, probably because she stayed up too late. Sandrone's presence is not always unwanted, but you wish she'd stop staying up until ungodly hours of the night to do whatever it is she's doing at that hour, but at least you cover for her. You always tell your parents she's off playing, all the while knowing that you've concealed her in your bed and wait until there's an opportunity to drag her out of bed, clothe and feed her.

It's nice to sleep in sometimes.

Every time you try to leave, there's a child-sized growth attached to your leg, begging you to stay and play with her, usually because she's bored and has no one else willing to entertain her. You wish you could, but know you have to pull her off, kiss her head, and set her back down on the floor.

She wishes you would kiss her forehead in that way even now.

CROSSPOSTED ON AO3

[moonzshiftz]

Help me with my AU

okay so i kinda have no idea what to do from here so im gonna post my first draft (mostly written at 3am) and you guys tell me if the plot is good and the plot holes I need to fix and also a name for the AU because i just found out people name their AUs and i can't just call mine "my tangled au" forever yk

please tell me if it's shit i need to know that to make it better (but also keep in mind that it's the first general idea)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

a world where only eugene, rapunzel and her parents know about her powers and everyone else thinks her hair just turned brown as she aged and there was nothing special about her rapidly growing blonde hair as a baby. cassandra never takes her to the rocks and her hair never grows back and she lives her life normally, apart from having to adapt to a new world and dealing with trauma from being in the tower

moon is eugene's lost sister and her mom died birthing her. she absorved all of the moonstone's powers because her mom was around it so much and now the moonstone is almost harmless because moon carries almost all the power, that's why she has the ability to recite the spell

king edmund sent everyone away and stayed in the kingdom taking care of moon after finding out about her powers, scared that she would harm someone, but as she grew up, she questioned why she was stuck in an empty castle with her dad, why she couldn't explore the world, but the king only told her it was too dangerous (the only thing he didnt tell her was that it wasnt the world that was dangerous for her, it was the opposite) so one day when she was 15 she found a scroll in her father's bedroom and she saw that there was a drawing of the moonstone- the same stone that is in the center room of the castle that her father doesn't let her enter- and a lot of symbols that she couldn't decipher so she found a way to run out of the castle at night and find out the truth about that stone and why her father kept her there. after walking for days she finally found a village with people so she went up to the first person she saw for answers, and she showed a nice old woman the scroll and asked if she knew what it meant and she smiled and took her into her home. she figured what it said very quickly and asked moon to read the decay incantation, to which she only smiled as the little girl was possessed by moon magic, unable to stop reciting the spell. "you own the moonstone, don't you?" the old woman asked her, to which she responded explaining where she came from and that the moonstone is locked up, so she took the woman back to the kingdom after she manipulated moon into thinking she needed the moonstone, only to try to steal it at the last second. fortunately, king edmund saw the old woman (an old spirit and follower of zhan tiri) and stopped her forever. he then decided that moon wasn't even safe stuck in the dark kingdom and did a spell to wipe all of her memories and made the crows take her somewhere she could live a new and anonymous life, hopefully being saved by a kind family. the only thing he didn't know was that she sent the girl still with the demanitus scroll in her pocket to varian's house in old corona

varian also has some moonstone power but not enough to kill people like moon, in his maximum capacity he would only be able to put someone in a coma, but that would take a lot of his energy. his mom is a descendent of demanitus and she met quirin through studying the magic of the sundrop and moonstone, and they were around the moonstone a lot, but not as much as the queen, so that's why varian has magic but a lot less than moon

varian never believed that rapunzel was magically brought back with different hair and the person who kidnapped him just died. he knew that woman must've had a reason to kidnap the princess and keep her hidden for 18 years, why doesn't the rest of the kingdom know the reason? the queen drank tea from a magic healing flower that cured her deathly disease and rapunzel was born with long hair the same color as the flower, then she was kidnapped and came back with the opposite- short brown hair- and those facts have nothing to do with each other? so when that mysterious girl showed up at his doorstep with a scroll about that same flower, he knew it was a sign for him to investigate

[fostercare-expat]

Just now, I just found an old post saved in my drafts from 5 years ago. And what I love so much about it is that even though we don't say it every night any more, but still all my foster kids pick up on it and they request to say it occasionally. I just said it with Older and Younger Brother the night before last. Passed down from my grandfather to my dad to me to these boys. So sweet.

Old Draft Post from 2019:

@fosterthoughts was talking about their family way of saying “I love you” and it really resonated with me. Growing up my Dad had a saying he would always say when he told me he loved me. I won’t share here because it feels too private, but essentially it meant he loved me no matter what I did or how bad things were. I probably used to roll my eyes whenever he said it, but I used to secretly feel all warm and cozy when I would hear it. His father used to say the same to him.

I’ve kept the same for my girls, but added a part beforehand that’s new. My girls request it most nights after the lights are off and I’m sitting there waiting for them to fall asleep. All three of our voices in the dark promising to love each other no matter what. (Of course my 5 year old usually adds the word p00-p00 in there somewhere, but it’s still beautiful nonetheless.)

[badoccultadvice]

So like, I have been having this weird experience analyzing the Harry Potter books lately, and please indulge me while I talk about J.K. Rowling's weird writing.

My goal was simple: read the Harry Potter books to find which parts were influenced/inspired by actual magic that people do in real life. My theory was that there was a lot more magic in the earlier drafts of the books, and that she took a lot out due to fear of backlash from America's ongoing reenactment of the Satanic Panic. For instance it's quite obvious some of their magic lessons got dumbed down so that very little of what's in the books could actually be tried in real life, and I think she took out a lot of astrology.

I also wanted to do a couple errands along the way, one of which was to check and see if it's explicitly written in the books that Harry is a cis man. I'm a trans man, SO I'D KNOW. (I'm a slow reader so all I can say for now is: the FIRST book does not explicitly state Harry is cis, but if he's trans, there's some implied worldbuilding with items like the Sorting Hat that comes into play. Also I'm fairly sure the Dursleys would have gone along with him being trans because that meant Petunia could reuse Dudley's old clothes instead of having to get girl stuff. I'mma save any other explanations on the topic for a video on it.) The reason I'm doing this read-through is because I think J.K. doesn't know anything about trans people and didn't think to make sure her wizard world was trans exclusionary. AND IT TURNS OUT THAT WE TRANS MAGIC USERS HAVE A WAY OF WIGGLING INTO MOST PLACES UNDETECTED BY NORMAL MEANS.

While I was doing the re-read I encountered two sort of broad revelations:

There's a lot of old stuff in there like Latin and Greek and tradcraft stuff, but also modern magic of the more recent era... but the incorporation of modern magic cuts off somewhere before the 80s. These books read like they were written by a early 70s magician. Like they honestly read like J.K. is a magical practicioner who just didn't read any magic books written after 1972 and never discovered what Chaos Magic is, (and also, never heard of most of what happened in the Cold War). I have never found a writer, in fiction or non-fiction, more dedicated to referencing magical stuff that most magicians alive today just don't care about anymore.

J.K. Rowling's knowledge of child abuse laws and general social mores regarding treatment of children also ceased to update itself by about the 80s. I keep getting distracted by this and having to make more side-notes about corporal punishment and researching stuff like when caning was banned in England. (HInt: it was banned before Harry went to school, so in Book 1 it's fuckin weird that he assumes that Wood is the name of a cane he's about to be whipped with.) Like, this woman raised children in the modern era, she should know when canes stopped being used.

So like, when I mention that I'm doing some research in this area, this is the sort of stuff I'm reading for and the sort of stuff I'm encountering. I haven't been talking much about this journey because it seems like any time anyone brings up anything Harry Potter up whatsoever, we've got to talk about how J.K. is a terf in every other sentence. But like, y'all: I hope you slow down and re-read the books, because J.K. Rowling is a terf who is also a child abuse apologist and normalizer. She is a terf who is also a horrible fat-shamer. She is a terf who is also an ableist with a huge problem writing about mental illness. And she's a terf who's also a sexist who undermines feminism with her actual writing of female characters.

And I honestly think she double and triples down on the terf stuff so that people will only talk about that. I think it's worth talking about the fact that not only is she an awful person in the terf way, but like, every other way imaginable too. I think it's worth talking about the fact that with all the obvious biases she has, the group she CHOOSES to publicly marginaiize is trans women, and I think she makes that choice because she thinks that she'll get more allies that way. That if she wore all of her issues on her sleeve like she wears the terfness, that she'd lose a lot of allies, that a lot of prestigious charities would stop having anything to do with her. That she uses the identity of "terf" as a shield because she knows that certain people will protect a terf, and she does this specifically so people won't notice how much of a sexist, abuse apologist, ableist, fatphobe etc she ALSO is. Opinions that could lose her a lot of money and clout if people remember them enough.

She's trying to pick on who she thinks is the most unpopular kid in the class out of the hopes that the bullies in class will be her friends instead of pile up on her, but if the bullies knew what she really thought of them, THEY wouldn't even be her friends.

Also like... I just want someone else to read the actual words in these books and see what fucked-up choices she made as a writer. I think a LOT of people remembering these books are actually remembering the movies, which are way more different from the books than you might expect.

[twig-tea]

Absolute Zero Making Zero Sense: Ep 4

This is going to be a bit messy because I have a lot of emotions lol I held back on ep 3 because I really wasn't sure how to express everything, and I wanted to give myself and the show time to get it right. But this week I feel too much to hold back.

Unlike most folks last week, I was actually expecting the pace slow-down, because, if we're in a linear timeline, I knew there wasn't that much time before SuanSoon was going to disappear again, so we were going to have to spend more time with Time Traveller!SuanSoon (TT!SS) and young Ongsah to fill the time. I was assuming that TT!SS had remembered his time as a kid and realized the weird things that had happened around now were himself so maybe we were going to see more of that, but now I'm not so sure he's being that intentional; things like the phone call (which I was assuming was TT!SS because who else would have SuanSoon's number--which was it's own depressing realization) but we clearly saw in this episode that it wasn't him. And now I'm thinking maybe he didn't remember his stuff getting taken in from the rain or the exact day he moved in next door. Maybe I've been giving him too much credit this whole time.

Similarly, I have been struggling with what the relationship between TT!SS and Ongsah was accomplishing, for TT!SS or for the plot. At first I thought maybe TT!SS was thinking that the only reason why Ongsah paid attention to him was because he'd met TT!SS and he was going to have to play matchmaker, which would have been a heartbreaking statement about his own self-worth as a kid. But when he didn't say anything about Ongsah using those tickets alone, I figured oh, TT!SS was thinking of maybe preventing Ongsah and SuanSoon from meeting in the current present (especially after a couple other things he said last episode). And like @bengiyo and @lurkingshan I was wondering what the heck he was doing, then, spending time with young Ongsah?

This is what I wrote in my draft last week that I never posted:

What I'm suck on is what SuanSoon is meant to take away from this journey to the past if it is an unchangeable timeline. It's clear that this relationship between SuanSoon and Ongsah is pivotal to SuanSoon's life. I'm guessing, based on what we've seen, that this opacity about what the heck SuanSoon is doing is intentional because his plan is fucked. I'm going to put down a clown checkpoint and say SuanSoon might be thinking if he as an adult has captured young Ongsah's attention then maybe he won't be interested in his younger self and that will save adult Ongsah? If that's the case, it's a fucked up plan and so cruel to himself and to Ongsah, and such a heartbreaking statement about his own self-worth. With Ongsah finding out about the time travel (I'm assuming he's seeing dates somewhere on that phone), if SuanSoon tells him, there's no way Ongsah could stay away. If Ongsah fights him on it, maybe he can convince him that SuanSoon has value. After going back to ep1, I'm now thinking that speech older SuanSoon gave to younger SuanSoon was possibly as much meant for himself as an adult as it was for himself as a child. "Make yourself stronger. Respect yourself. And believe in love. Don't be alone".

But now I think even that was giving TT!SS too much credit. It hit me watching today's episode: I think he's just spending as much time with Ongsah as he can, because he thinks he's going to have erased him from his life in the future. That's why he's not in any urgency to get back, and why he keeps vacillating between pushing Ongsah away and holding him closer; he's in tension between wanting to be with Ongsah and wanting to let Ongsah go. The grief we saw him feel towards Ongsah to date is (I'm guessing) not about Future!Ongsah potentially dying, it's about TT!SS erasing their relationship and losing the only family he has, as well as his relationship with the person he loves most, from the life he's going back to.

Now, that being said, if that's what this show is doing, it's not doing it very well. We didn't get any indication from our time in the hospital to indicate that anything is permanently wrong with Ongsah, nothing to indicate that the accident was in any way SuanSoon's fault, and it's just basic time travel logic (which SuanSoon as a consumer of media should know) that changing one bad thing that happened doesn't mean things will go better; if he didn't meet SuanSoon maybe he would have died from a different car crash years ago! A random car crash during a commute is a ridiculous thing to try to avoid via throwing out a ten-year relationship. I dislike "I'm leaving you for your own protection" plotlines most of the time, but this one makes even less sense than usual, and there are not very many reasons for it (not even bad reasons) in the show to give it any legibility.

Even putting that aside, this is so, so cruel to Ongsah. TT!SS is giving him a taste of the love he could have had in this other timeline of just about a month and a bit before presumably disappearing, and then his plan was to prevent Ongsah from having the happiness of their relationship for the next ten years at least? But also he has not been upfront with Ongsah, it seemed like he didn't actually have a plan to tell him who he was or where he came from, and he's made it clear he was missing someone else, so poor teenage Ongsah has been left grappling with the confusing mixed signals of someone ten years older than him who should be emotionally mature enough to not be yanking him around this whole time.

And it's frankly even more cruel to SuanSoon, who is the same age, but has no friends, no family, and at the moment, no belief he can have or deserves either. To take away Ongsah from SuanSoon's life is the cruelest thing TT!SS can do to himelf. There's a self-hatred in this that is just--devastating.

I would guess that all of this stems from TT!SS undervaluing his presence in Ongsah's life, both before and after time travel. I can understand how someone would be that way after losing their family and being a loner for several years, and then only having one other person, who was their everything but who had other friends, family, etc. always surrounding him. I'm just....mad that he was not adult enough to make his own emotional baggage young Ongsah's problem. (@waitmyturtles you basically made this point last week and I was internally waffling but I'm now with you; dude needs to Adult a little more). And I think that I'm filling in a LOT of blanks and making guesses to try to give the show the benefit of the doubt, but I don't know for sure I'm right.

And due to the pacing, we understand just how much time he's had to think this through, and this is the best plan he's come up with? Sir, I am unimpressed.

I'm also confused about where this show is going to go from here. I still think that if I were Ongsah, no way in hell would I stay away from young SuanSoon, even not knowing the details of how knowing him would result in my death in a decade. Especially at 17-18, a decade sounds like forever! We've only got a bit more time with TT!SS in the past, since we know from ep 1 that he first moves in to the apartment a couple of weeks before the film where Ongsah and SuanSoon meet (because the video store guy tells SuanSoon about the film opening 'in a couple of weeks' around when he hears from the landlady that she's rented the apartment next door), and he's disappeared by that day (because SuanSoon goes to look for him and the landlady tells him he's already disappeared). So TT!SS and Ongsah only have a little more time together, and then TT!SS will go back to the future....and there's no way Ongsah actually stays away, right? So will the rest of the show be the two of them as adults talking through this decision SuanSoon made that Ongsah has had to carry with him for the last ten years? How will that possibly fill 8 more episodes???

I'm also still unsure why TT!SS had not met Ongsah's friends and boss. Was he just like, suddenly good at remembering to be a time traveller, or does Ongsah keep SuanSoon from them, out of fear they'd put it together somehow that Ongsah's new boyfriend SuanSoon is an awful lot like TT!SS who used to tutor them but younger? It would be kind of weird, but also quite the leap.... and if so how the heck does he manage that??? Does Ongsah kick these people out of his life? Did TT!SS rob Ongsah of these important relationships (unintentionally) with his selfishness?

Also, why does Ongsah cry when SuanSoon eats ice cream??? (When they were going to get ice cream this episode I was like ahA! Here it is! But nope Ongsah wasn't even there for that conversation and it didn't explain anything).

If it isn't a linear, immutable timeline after all, then why put so much effort into establishing it as one?

And what was with that phone call???? (if it was just about SuanSoon not hearing TT!SS talk to him, he could have just left his headphones in). Who was calling and why?

If these butterflies are about love, why are they only appearing in EP4????? (to be fair I think they did appear in ep1 briefly).

Ok that was a rant. In summary, I'm mad that TT!SS as a character is being cruel to two teenagers (his future boyfriend and his younger self) and is too busy illogically taking accountability for his boyfriend's car accident to take accountability for his actual behaviour. And it's not clear to me right now that the show knows just how cruel he's been. This part I won't pass judgment on yet, because there's more show to come, but I am side-eyeing it. Hard.

I'm also, less fairly, mad that TT!SS is less competent than I hoped he was being as a time traveller. (This is a personal failing of mine; I have a competency kink and when a character is incompetent I find it harder to like them, and sometimes I'll read competency where it doesn't exist just because I want it to have been there).

I'm more fairly mad at this show for setting up so many cool timey-wimey things and then not following through, or not setting them up in a cool way. Like, we could have had more unexplained moments in ep 1 that we see TT!SS make happen in 3/4, but why show us TT!SS sneaking into SuanSoon's apartment just to move laundry that we didn't know had been moved until afterwards?

That phone call better be important later. And I better get a scene in which Ongsah watches SuanSoon eat ice cream and something meaningful happens!!

Well, I feel a little better.

Thinking about what's to come, we still need to set up that speech from TT!SS to SuanSoon in ep1 so that it makes any sense at all; as it stands if TT!SS is going to give up on his younger self meeting and falling in love with Ongsah, then what was that speech about to SuanSoon right before the Once theatre showing where SuanSoon and Ongsah meet? "Make yourself stronger. Respect yourself. And believe in love. Don't be alone". Is TT!SS hoping SuanSoon will open his heart to...someone else? How DARE he tell SuanSoon not to be alone when he is by his actions trying to make him more alone?? Maybe Ongsah will convince TT!SS over the next episode or two that actually he's worth risking his life for, and that speech is really meant for TT!SS as much as it's meant for SuanSoon? Is that again giving TT!SS too much credit?

it would potentially be cool if Ongsah also gets to time travel back to the past (we didn't get hints that this would be the case because the cast didn't talk about adult Ongsah's chemistry with the kids the way they did with adult SuanSoon, but maybe they've been hiding it) and undermine some of what TT!SS has been doing, to keep the timeline linear and maybe explain a few open threads (like the phonecall!!!!!), and to make things a bit more equal (I'm thinking about all of those great conversations around Be My Favorite, and the inequality of time travel in a relationship). I would also be into a really heavy reckoning for adult SuanSoon when he gets back to the present by adult Ongsah, because in theory Ongsah has had to live with the knowledge that SuanSoon was willing to sabotage their relationship for the past decade, and that's got to mess up a person (and a relationship), and TT!SS deserves to be yelled at a lot. But that wouldn't be a very timey-wimey back half, so would be a weird thing to take up the remainder of the show. Maybe we get an It's A Wonderful Life situation, where SuanSoon gets to see what their lives would be like if his attempt had worked, so that he can understand his value in Ongsah's life, ideally before he gives that speech to his younger self?

I don't know. I'm just so mad at SuanSoon for his calmly and carefully setting out to break Ongsah's heart and ruin his own younger self's happiness with barely any justification, and I am feeling disappointed that the show doesn't feel as tight as it did in eps 1 and 2. What could potentially bring this show back for me is if it becomes about TT!SS realizing how bad the decisions he's making are, and being brought around to young Ongsah and SuanSoon getting together after all, and apologizing to Ongsah for the (intentional or not) mindgames, maybe. I'm also wondering about pacing and whether they were just given too much time in a 12-episode series to tell this particular story (though it's definitely too soon to make a call like that).

[Also shout-out to @nothingsbetterthancoffee for chatting with me about this show in the DMs and helping me with my sense of the timeline by sharing dates!]

[veliseraptor]

I have a suggestion/compromise? You mentioned not having the heart to finish those abandoned marvel drafts but if you were willing to share some of the already written bits that you do like, why not just post them as excerpts? You needn't finish them and we get to read your lovely work and stop harassing you for more ❤️

I've been tossing this idea around in my head for the last couple of days and I still don't know where I'm coming down in terms of "actually posting unfinished works to AO3" but I did go back and reread some of these fics I moved into my "MCU Fic Salvage Folder" (aka the wips I feel like would be most worth finishing someday, hypothetically) and once again went "huh you know these are still decent" and it does seem a pity that they're just sitting around languishing unread when people might hypothetically appreciate them, and I'm always in constant need of external validation.

so you know what, since you asked, anon, here, have a 2.3k chunk of an avengers: infinity war canon divergence that I'm fond of notionally but very unlikely to ever finish.

-----

you who turn the wheel and look to windward

Loki watched himself die.

It was necessary, so that he could ensure all the reactions were perfect, the simulacrum as believable as possible, as precisely real as possible. Making a copy of himself was easy - child’s play. Had been for centuries. Making one that was solid to the touch and real enough to fool Thanos--

He’d never done it before, and he could feel the strain of it in his chest, but he was strong enough for this. He had to be. 

That didn’t make it any easier to watch his own throat crushed in Thanos’s hand. He could feel himself shaking, his heart beating like it was going to explode, terror squeezing his airways as tightly as Thanos was squeezing his double’s--

Loki knew the pop-crack wasn’t real and he still flinched. The simulacrum went limp, and a muffled sound reminded him of the other reason he’d kept his eyes so determinedly fixed on his own death. 

I’m sorry, he thought frantically. Thor, I’m sorry, I couldn’t think of another way--

Thanos dropped the body - his body, and he had the disorienting, horrifying experience of staring at his own dead eyes - in front of Thor. He was saying something, but Loki couldn’t hear it over the roaring in his ears. 

Leave, he willed Thanos. Leave, damn you, you have what you want, now go--

Thor was sobbing. He could hear that, all too clearly, and oh if he’d ever wanted proof of what Thor had said (I mourned you) he had it now, and it was bitter in the having. 

Thanos turned his back and Loki held perfectly still, quivering like a dog straining at the leash, waiting, waiting. All he needed was a moment, a clean moment where he could get Thor away and run, it didn’t matter where, somewhere, anywhere. He hadn’t managed to save Asgard. Or Frigga, or Heimdall. But he would do this, he had to do this, there was no other choice.

Walk away, he thought. Walk away, there’s nothing here for you, we’re already dead.

Thor was holding his corpse. Clinging to it, and Loki hated himself but he hated Thanos more and he would apologize when they were safe, would let Thor beat him into the ground if it just meant they made it through this.

Let us make it through this. 

Loki felt the flash of power roll through him. Of Power. Felt the remnants of the ship groan as they started to tear apart. 

No, Loki thought. No, no-

He gauged the distance between him and Thor and Thor and Thanos and it didn’t matter, he couldn’t wait any longer. 

He’d already waited too long.

The ship ripped apart as Loki lunged for Thor, mouth open to shout his name before the vacuum of space tore his voice away, tore him away.

Then there was nothing, for a long time.

**

“You’re d’asting shitting me.”

Loki’s mind stirred sluggishly. His thoughts were fragmented, slow to cohere. There was something about that voice and its rough edge that made Loki’s stomach clench anxiously, but he couldn’t put a name to it, or to where he was, or to what-

No, he knew what had happened. The ship had been torn apart. And somehow...he’d survived. 

Again. 

“I should just throw you back out there,” said the vaguely familiar voice. “This is a waste of time.”

Loki fought his way free like a river in spring thaw. Everything was still jumbled, confused, but one thing remained squarely at the forefront of his mind. 

“Thor,” he said weakly. 

Thor, clinging to his body as the ship was ripped apart, and he hadn’t been fast enough to reach him.

He jerked the rest of the way back to life and lunged to his feet, whirling around with a knife in hand, and froze, staring at Thanos’s daughter. She stared back at him, her jaw set. “You,” he snarled, and lunged for her, hopelessly uncoordinated, still weak. She batted his thrust aside easily. 

“Cut it out,” she said. “I’m not here for him.” 

Loki flashed his teeth. “I am supposed to believe that?” 

“Believe it or don’t,” she said. “But don’t try to stab me again after I just dragged you and the other one onto my ship against my better judgment.”

Loki’s heart leapt into his throat, something like hope almost blooming in his chest. “The other one?” 

“Yeah,” she said, jerking her thumb over her shoulder. “She’s over there.” She turned her back and started back toward the cockpit, stride jerky and ever so slightly uneven. “Don’t make me regret this.”

His heart dropped just as quickly. She. But he looked reluctantly over where Thanos’s daughter - he remembered her, if not her name - had indicated. Even one living Asgardian, even one, he told himself, no matter if it was not Thor…

I promise you, brother, the sun will shine on us again.

He walked unsteadily over to the other body lying on the ship’s deck. He recognized the style of the vessel - one of Thanos’s, which suggested that either Thanos’s daughter had stolen it, or she was lying. 

Not just any Asgardian, Loki thought, kneeling down unsteadily next to her. The Valkyrie. She was a survivor. Like him. 

Even as he started to reach out toward her, she gasped in a breath and her eyes snapped open, her knife flashing toward his throat. She stopped it just before it sliced through skin, staring at him, wide-eyed.

“Fuck,” she said. “Loki?”

Loki choked on a hysterical laugh. “The one and only,” he said. 

“The fuck...the fuck happened?” Valkyrie’s voice rasped painfully. Loki wondered if there was water. He should have asked, but he still felt dull, muddled. Thor must have survived. He had to have. But where…

He slumped back away from her. “Thanos,” he said. 

“I knew that,” Valkyrie hissed, already on her feet. There was an ugly rent in her armor, bleeding sluggishly. “But we’re not dead, so obviously-”

She cut off. Loki saw the moment when she put it together. 

“There’s no one else, is there,” she said. 

Loki didn’t want to say it. Couldn’t make himself say it. “I don’t know.” 

Valkyrie let loose with a string of expletives that Loki couldn’t parse. He waited for her to finish shouting. 

“Hulk?” She said, finally. 

“Heimdall sent him to Midgard. To warn them.” And was murdered for it. He didn’t speak that part, but he could tell that Valkyrie heard it nonetheless. 

“And Thor?” She asked, but he could tell by the look on her face that she already knew the answer. She just wanted him to say it. Why? So she could blame him, that he was still here and Thor might be-

He’s not dead. I won’t believe it. He turned his back on her and walked over to the cockpit to stare at the back of Thanos’s daughter’s head. She’d been a Luphomoid, once. He wasn’t sure what to call her now. “What’s your game,” he asked, harshly. 

“Getting to Thanos. Killing Thanos.” 

Loki jerked. “Last I saw you-”

“Last I saw you,” she snapped, “you were dancing on Thanos’s strings. It’s been a while.” 

“You know this person?” Valkyrie said, coming up behind him.

“Yes,” Loki said flatly. “Not fondly. There were a lot of sophisticated instruments of torture involved.” 

He felt Valkyrie stiffen, and somewhere distant where he was still feeling things was touched. 

“Don’t make me regret pulling you out of vacuum,” she said, her voice, if possible, even harsher than he remembered. “I only did it because-”

She stopped. Her hands twitched on the controls. Loki could see something, suddenly, in her single-minded intensity, the taut coil of her entire body, straining toward a destination she was afraid she wouldn’t reach. 

“Because why,” he said. She clamped her mouth shut and didn’t answer. 

“Would someone explain to me who you are and what’s going on,” Valkyrie said tightly, her voice almost vibrating, and it occurred to Loki that she’d been the sole survivor of her sisterhood, and was now one of a handful of survivors at most, almost immediately after returning to Asgard. Loki stumbled back and sat down on one of the unoccupied seats, his head suddenly spinning again. 

“She’s a daughter of Thanos,” he said. “Not of his flesh - I don’t know that he has any of those. I certainly hope not.” 

“I am not that,” she said, her voice grating. “My name is Nebula. I almost killed Thanos once. This time, I’m going to do it right.” 

“You’ve changed your tune,” Loki said. To Valkyrie, he added, “it seems we both managed to survive being blasted into space when Thanos disintegrated the ship. Which is, I imagine, where she found us.” 

“But not Thor,” she said. 

“There were no other signs of life in the vicinity,” Nebula said, after a brief pause. Loki felt like he’d been punched in the chest. He slumped back into the seat, staring blankly forward. 

It should have been you, whispered a nasty voice in his mind. Not him. Never him.

Valkyrie swore under her breath. “Fuck,” she said. “Shit.” 

Nebula, to his gratitude, said nothing. He was quite certain she knew the name. She’d heard him scream it enough. 

“Fuck!” Valkyrie roared, slamming her foot into the hull of the ship. Loki bowed his head and tried to summon the words: nor shall we mourn, but he couldn’t. Couldn’t. He felt like something had been ripped out of his core. 

“Where are we going,” he said finally, numbly. 

“I told you-”

“Yes, I know. I meant more specifically than that.” 

“Vormir,” Nebula said. Loki frowned. 

“What’s on Vormir?” 

“The Soul Stone.” 

Loki’s heart skipped a beat. “What?” He said, voice a little hoarse. He’d had some slim hope that the thing was lost. That no one knew where to find it, Thanos included, and thus he would not be able to complete his quest. 

Stupid. He should know better by now than to trust to hope. 

Nebula’s jaw tightened. “I don’t know if Thanos is still there. But it’s the last location I know he was heading.” 

“How did he know where to go,” Loki said, his throat closing like he was the double Thanos had strangled. “I thought it was lost-”

“Not lost enough,” Nebula said. She was wound so tight she was almost vibrating. Racing against time. She was afraid. Loki had not thought she was capable. 

That was all the Stones accounted for. Two on Midgard. Two Thanos already possessed (one thanks to you, sentiment, and what was it worth in the end, you still lost). One on Knowhere in the Collector’s care - he was strong enough that he might be able to match Thanos on his own, but with two Infinity Stones already in his possession? Perhaps not. 

And the Soul Stone, on Vormir. 

“How do we kill him,” Valkyrie said, her voice harsh. “This - Thanos. How do we kill him?” 

“Quickly,” Nebula said. “Cutting his throat should do it. I intend to take his whole head just to be sure.” 

“Not if I get to it first,” Loki said. Nebula gave him a sharp, ugly look that Loki ignored. He was very cold, and trying very hard not to think of Thor. Not to think, with childlike desperation, he was alive when you saw him last, Thor is strong, he might have survived. He couldn’t afford to believe that. And it wouldn’t matter if Thanos got what he wanted. 

“How far are we from this Vormir,” Valkyrie said.

“Another few hours.” Nebula’s voice was curt, but not exactly hostile.

“And are there weapons on this ship?” 

She gestured toward the back, and Valkyrie turned on her heel and stalked in that direction. Loki looked down at his hands. He had his knives, of course. Always. 

He kept going over those last few moments on The Statesman. What he could have done differently. What he should have done differently that might have gotten both him and Thor out alive - or at least Thor. 

It should have been a relief that he couldn’t think of anything. It wasn’t. 

“What changed,” he said.

“Are you talking to me,” Nebula said. Her voice was as harsh as he remembered. Thanos must have done something to damage her vocal cords, at some point. Hearing it sent a shiver of revulsion at remembered pain down his spine. 

“Yes,” he said. “I am talking to you. What made you finally turn your back on your father?” 

“None of your business.” 

“I’d like to know why I should believe you aren’t just taking us to Thanos as prisoners.” 

“If I was taking you to Thanos I would have just killed you,” Nebula said. “If I’d known it was you I was pulling onboard I would have.”

“Hey,” Valkyrie said, hefting a sizeable gun in one hand. “Watch it.”

Nebula made a disgusted noise and turned away from them both. Loki glanced at Valkyrie, eyebrows furrowing, and when she looked back at him he read determination and rage and a sort of desperation in her eyes. Like she expected something from him.

Don’t, Loki wanted to scream. I’ll only fail you. As I failed Thor.

“She’s not going to now,” Loki said. “And if you try...you’ll find me much harder to subdue than when I was your father’s captive.” It was largely bravado. He was weak after the fight on the Statesman, after dueling Proxima and Corvus, after crafting a double of himself. Drained by the memory of Thor on his knees, screaming, running toward his brother as the ship disintegrated around them and Thor just lay there sobbing over his seeming corpse, making no move to save himself. 

A knife slid in under Loki’s ribs and slit him open. He staggered, and Valkyrie caught him.

“Lackey,” she said lowly.

“I’m fine,” he said, but she ignored him, depositing him on a seat and standing next to him, glaring at the back of Nebula’s head as she ignored them both.

[lancedoncrimsonwings]

Augusnippets Day 20

Path of Comfort Prompt; Alt. "Gentle Touch"

Day 20 of @augusnippets August 2024 Whump writing challenge! (Augusnippets Masterlist)

Characters;

- POV: Lancelot - The Weeping Monk

- Caretaker: Gawain - The Green Knight

(Character Masterlist)

(Ao3 Link)

Wordcount; 607

TWs; Tending to wounds, referenced self-flagellation, lashings

"I can help, if you'd like?"

Lancelot looked up to see Gawain standing at the entrance of their tent. Too preoccupied attempting to fold himself like an origami bird in order to salve the wounds on his back, he hadn't noticed the Green Knight's approach.

"I can... do it..." Lancelot huffed, cheeks flaming in embarassment at being caught like this.

Gawain held his hands up in mock surrender, ducking past him further into the tent. Lancelot heard the telltale signs of water being poured into the washbasin, the methodical scrape of knife against cheek as the Knight began to shave.

After several more minutes of wishing he had eyes in the back of his head, or perhaps that he could detatch one of his arms, Lancelot had managed to smear salve on approximately four-and-a-half of the lashings, as well as into his hair somehow and all up one of his arms.

Lancelot sighed, raising his eyes to the heavens in a silent plea for mercy, glancing back when he heard the knife thud softly as Gawain placed it down and stood.

"Let me."

Lancelot sighed again, but begrudingly nodded permission, willing himself to relax though he found it nigh on impossible. It was strange, he thought, the difference in how willing he was to hurt himself unhesitatingly, yet waiting for pain given by another had him arguably more nervous.

As anticipated, Gawain's touch was indeed painful. Lancelot couldn't help but tense to keep still despite trying not to react at all.

Lancelot was, by nature, intimately familiar with pain. This sensation at a base level was indeed the same as ever, yet it had a depth to it most unlike anything he had experienced before, the gentleness of how Gawain tended to him... 

It was oddly comforting. Soothing even.

"Gods, I wish all my patients were as well behaved as you are..."

"Well... behaved?" Lancelot repeated slowly, raising an eyebrow.

Gawain chuckled behind him.

"Aye. They never stay so bloody still."

Lancelot heard a distinctly impressed note in Gawain's voice, unable to resist closing his eyes to the feel of Gawain's soft but sure touches. Unbidden, he wondered if Gawain had a lover somewhere. He'd certainly revealed nothing of himself despite being tortured, yet it felt too personal a question for Lancelot to ask, so he remained silent. He knew Fey had odd customs, not least that it made no difference to most if one was man or woman, or even both, neither, or somewhere in between. Perhaps his lover was a man, given the ease with which his hands roamed Lancelot's back...

"Is it nice where you are?" Gawain asked, mildly.

"I- What?" 

"Is it nice? In your thoughts. You look very... lost in them." 

Lancelot didn't have an answer for that, but gave a wry laugh all the same. Usually, the answer was a quite definite no. Sometimes he'd rather be anywhere but in his own head.

In this instance he certainly had zero intentions of admitting he'd been pondering whether or not the Green Knight was single... Yet the way in which he'd spoken suggested Gawain may have guessed at their subject. 

You're just being paranoid now...

Now that his mind had gone down this particular road, he couldn't deny Gawain's gentle touch was beginning to set a fire through his veins, something else he daren't say. He bit back an involuntary groan as pain mingled with pleasure.

"Sorry, Ashman."

Lancelot smiled slightly at the apology, as unneeded as it was it was nice of Gawain to offer it. Perhaps if he focused on the pain, it would stop his traitorous mind from wandering...

Whoops, posted this one REAL early, yes I was meant to put it in my drafts for tomorrow when I'm at work, no, I did not in fact click "save to drafts"... oops.

An alternate prompt because I was really struggling to write for the given prompts, but I had two ideas I couldn't pick between for Day 23 so I wrote one of them for today!

As always, thanks for reading, onto the next!

[madagascarparty]

Survey Link Mistake

If you are one of the 3 people who took the survey on 9/18 and it was talking about the top 10 options plus suggestions that was the wrong link included in the reblog. If you are one of those 3 people (or haven't taken the event survey yet) here is the correct link:

The story of what happened and why is below:

Context:

SurveyMonkey only allows 40 responses to save on a survey in the free version. And I had gotten 35 already so before I reblogged I changed the link to a copied version of the survey to prevent hitting the limit and the responses having a limited time being saved. That way I wouldn't have to stress about saving the details somewhere else in time or anything..

The Mistake:

The problem is I had started my draft for the follow up survey already. And it was meant to still to be updated depending on how the votes turned out but was set up like a template with the current top options. And I accidentally made a copy of that and changed the link to that on the original post.

The Solution (mostly):

I fixed the link and reblogged it again but since it was already reblogged with the wrong link I also changed the copied survey to explain what happened and include the right link.

However 3 people did take the survey with the wrong link before I realized my mistake. I hope they will be able to take the current survey so I wanted to get the info out there.

Also since I am addressing mistakes I also wanted to acknowledge the comment I got about including forgiveness twice. Thanks for letting me know, I am checking each response individually for that theme to make sure the vote number is accurate with one vote per person.

[annwrites]

I know I'm about to disappoint a number of people with this, but I'd rather just put it out there, instead of leaving my readers waiting for something I've now decided isn't going to happen.

I will not be doing the Aemond x SG (reader) happily-ever-after AU.

Reasons why under the cut:

I want to preface by saying I have started a draft of it, which I will be keeping saved on my Google Drive, incase I ever change my mind one day and/or find a way to edit it that will please me.

Now, for the reasons why I've chosen to abandon the one-shot:

There is no feasible way for me to write it which will keep canon events in-place, or keep SG & Aemond both in-character.

I initially wanted the HEA myself, but, at this point, I feel like if I published it, it would be solely for fan-service. Something I myself detest. I hated when GoT did it, & I've hated when HotD has done it.

SG would never be happy in any of the Free Cities, due to slavery. The only one she would ever find a modicum of contentment in would be Braavos—a place most unfit for a dragon to reside, due to most of it being under water.

And please don't suggest I send them to Sothoryos or Yi-To or Leng or something. Bc, just... No.

Aemond is not going to abandon Vhagar so they can go live on a floating island somewhere. Which leaves them with little other possibilities of where to relocate.

And, say I went with my one anon's idea of having them make a pact with the Price of Pentos like Daemon did (he gives them refuge in exchange for Vhagar's protection against the Triarchy). SG would be forced to make slaves answer to her & Aemond would live out his days doing naught. Riding Vhagar, taking long walks on the beach, etc. He'd feel, effectively, useless.

And once the Dance broke out? He'd be chomping at the fucking bit to return to Westeros to go to war. And for him to fight against SG's half of the family? It'd rip them apart.

If he stayed just to make her happy, he'd come to resent her, bc he would feel gelded. Having his dragon, his knowledge of battle-planning, skills with a sword all for nothing.

Say I make it so the Dance never happens. I'm just abandoning canon in such a major way that I don't feel comfortable with. Like. Aemond exists in ASoIaF bc of the Dance—not the other way around.

And I don't see their families not coming after them in some form. Whether that's Jace flying to Essos to try & retrieve his twin, or Aegon or Otto sending men after Aemond, they'd never live in peace. Not for the first few years there, at least.

And Aemond is just... Not a healthy match for her. I'm sorry. I myself have tried to change a toxic male partner & the shit cannot be done. He is obsessed with his niece. If she put a toe too far out of line, he would come to show his true colors & she would permanently live in fear of him for the rest of her days.

And that fear would only further embolden his efforts to keep her. He would see it as her not loving him as she's "meant" to, which, must, by extension, mean she may leave him. Time to batten down the hatches & ensure she has no place left to run.

The phrase "if I can't have you, no one can" comes to mind.

So, that brings me to what I may still eventually write: the tragic ending fic for the two of them.

The events of Sons & Daughters chapters 1-8 would be canon, as well as all of the outtakes, minus perhaps the Cregan pregnant sex one—I'd have to figure that one out. But it would start immediately after the Harrenhal outtake ended. It's why that chapter ended so abruptly: I was setting up for this potential fic.

Make NO mistake: this AU would NOT be canon. Chapter 9 is what is canon.

This fic would simply exist to explore a terribly dark "what if" version of my story. And it will include many triggering scenes. Posts will be tagged accordingly when/if the time comes.

Well, that's all I really had to say about this lol. Feel free to still send me your thoughts/commentary. I'd be surprised if a couple people didn't try to talk me back into the happy fic & out of the dark one, but I think my mind is pretty-well made up about it. Sorry!

[trixree]

Heyyyy, I'm new here can I ask about the Fledgling fic? oWo

Per my last post, I'm catching up on old Asks, AO3 comments, and messages received during my hiatus! (Psst, go do my Fanfic Poll) I started writing Fledgling because I craved more One Piece kid fic but was struggling to find ones that scratched the itch. I also have had parrots my whole life, so doing something with some sort of bird devil fruit made intuitive sense to me. My birds are my kiddos, so birds = babies. I'll admit that I did lose steam on it after awhile (especially cause it's one of my lowest engagement fics, which is a given because of the genre I guess) but a complete outline DOES indeed exist somewhere in the depths of my Google Drive and I can see myself returning to it someday. I planned to end the story with the crew's reunion on Saobody.

Here's a bit of the existing draft for chapter 6:

Tori is slow to calm. It takes nearly twenty minutes between the two of them to wind her down so that those awful, aching sobs transform into tiny little hiccups. This, too, is familiar to Sanji—the patience that a slow-to-calm child requires. Hell, even now, Sanji is talented at winding himself back up just when he’s started to mellow out again, just by getting stuck on the wrong thought at the wrong time. So, he holds her while Zoro pays painstaking attention to every single feather in her wings, gathering the oil that lives near the base of each pin and working the bristles with just the right pressure. 

And Tori hiccups. And she cries. And she begs them not to give her up. Asks them both, again and again, if she can stay if she’s good enough, and each time, the two of them reply with unwavering conviction. 

“You’re nakama.” 

“You’re not going anywhere without us.” 

“We won’t give you up.” 

And eventually, she tires herself out. 

“Let me take her,” Zoro whispers after the quiet sound of her (finally) steady breathing lasts for more than five minutes. 

“It’s okay, I—”

“Cook, you’re exhausted,” Zoro says. For once, it doesn’t feel like an insult or a jab. He is exhausted. Has been since the whole mess with the admiral. He was exhausted through dinner, exhausted while cleaning up afterwards, and exhausted when Tori rushed in, needing them both so desperately. 

Sanji sighs. “Yeah, alright.” Carefully, he transfers her over into Zoro’s waiting arms. 

By necessity, they go slowly, careful to jostle her as little as possible, and Sanji—well, he’s not sure he’s ever been this close to Zoro for this long, before. They’re standing close enough that Sanji can discern every individual eyelash on the other’s startlingly handsome face—and it really is startling.

Peripherally, Sanji is always aware of Zoro’s attractiveness. He’d have to be blind not to be. (Or so he tells himself. Because it isn’t wrong to have eyes, is it? The wrongness is in the wanting, and Sanji does not want. He just has an aesthetic appreciation for the masculine, that’s all. And Zoro certainly is masculine, if nothing else.) 

But to be so close—to be able to study all the little silvery scars that adorn his cheeks, the sharpness of his jaw, the slight bump to his otherwise perfectly sharp nose that betrays a past break, the color and shape of his lips—and to confront all that without the background noise of a meal to prepare, an enemy to defeat, a country to save… is startling. 

His arms were meant for this, Sanji realizes suddenly, watching him cradle Tori’s sleeping form close to that broad, rock-solid chest. 

“You need to sleep,” Zoro suddenly says, breaking whatever strange trance had fallen over Sanji instantly. 

Blushing furiously, Sanji scrubs both hands roughly across his face. “Yeah, sure. I’ve got a—” he gestures vaguely to the storage closet where he keeps an extra futon for late nights just like this, “—so I’ll just…” 

Zoro nods, never once looking up from Tori’s sleeping, tear-blotched face. 

“She’ll be alright,” tumbles out of his mouth. Zoro blinks at him, considering, and Sanji winces at his presumption. “I just—she’s resilient. It’s like Usopp said. Kids carry things differently. She’ll wake up tomorrow and… and be just fine,” he finishes, lamely. 

“I know.” And oh. This is not a voice that Sanji has heard before. Zoro’s baritone is nothing but a deep rumble in his chest in the still quiet of the night. (A knee-jerk reaction, Sanji wonders what it must feel like to Tori, to be pressed against that chest, feeling the vibration of those words and—)

“Right,” Sanji finishes, lamely. He turns his attention to Tori once more, brushing some stray tight curls out of her face and pressing a small kiss against her forehead, pointedly refusing to catch Zoro’s eyes as he pulls away. “Goodnight,” he offers lastly, with a tired smile. 

“Yeah. Goodnight, Sanji.” 

It is only when he’s on the cusp of sleep that Sanji realizes: Zoro had said his name.

[wutheringmights]

Has anyone asked for the writer's commentary yet for the latest CTB chapter? I love those 😭

Both of these asks came in today, so I guess we'll have to do director's commentary now.

As I mentioned in the author's notes, the entire flashback was written the day of posting. If I was in a better state, I would have taken the time to sit on the draft before going in to expand on some of the scenes, but I was at the end of my rope with the chapter and wanted the whole thing over with

All that to say that I don't really remember writing the flashback. My brain was pretty hazy

When I wrote that Mask's hair was cut, I felt like it was important but I really didn't know why. It wasn't until like a day later that I realized that Link was so bugged by the child's hair being cut because it was a loss of autonomy-- not for the child, but for Link. In Link's mind, he has final say on what the child does with his body, not anyone else

I would like to thank me for rehearsing the dialogue for Link and the engineer's argument in my car during my commute. If I didn't have that shit memorized, there would be no way that I would have been able to write that in, like, an hour

Onto the present day, which was 30k of the 35k chapter

I originally wrote Legend's story from his point of view before remembering my rule about limiting the POV to Warriors/Link exclusively; I might post that draft some day

In my draft, I was going to have everyone insist that Sky, Warriors, and Linkle couldn't come along to the rescue due to their injuries/being too young. About five minutes after they all left, Sky and Linkle were immediately going to start gearing up, with Sky turning to Warriors like "Well? You're coming or not?" This idea was cut as a space-saving measure

I felt like there are a lot of characters I wanted to put a spotlight on before the action got heavy, including Sky, Four, Lana, and Proxi. But I only had enough space for one. I ended up giving that space to Sky since he had the more pressing trauma, while also splicing in some Proxi for good measure.

Lincoln's departure desperately needed a rewrite. I had a note in bold at the bottom of the WIP constantly reminding me to go back to it, but I ran out of fucks. I apologize to any and all Lincoln stans out there

Another space-saving method was summarizing how they stole the horses and uniforms. I could have written more, but again. Space.

I desperately wanted part of Warriors's infiltration plan to involve Hyrule entering the camp on his own to befriend a bunch of soldiers, but it didn't make logical sense

If Sky, Linkle, and Warriors had gone off on their own, there would have been a scene where they snuck through the medical tent and saw the gas burn victims there

Originally, Twilight was going to be with the troops heading out but I moved him to be with Midna to save space

Impa and the generals were also going to be physically there and active characters in the tent scene, but their presence would have made the scene 10 times longer, so I had to find a way to put them in a box

(Are you noticing a trend here?)

I used to exclusively write ensemble stories with 20 different POV characters because I felt like I couldn't let characters do significant things off screen without it feeling shoehorned in. CTB has been a good exercise for me in regards to forcing me to embrace a single perspective. But, boy did everything with Midna and Twilight made me wish this was an ensemble story

The "battlefield run" plot point where Warriors and co need to run across an active battlefield to rescue someone was directly inspired by the movie 1917

When I was reading "The Dragon Republic" by RF Kuang, I fell in love with this description of a river filled with dead bodies that I knew I wanted to include somewhere in CTB, though I was worried it was too dark

The decapitated dead in the river is meant to be Uri, Warriors's friend from training who died in the first battle

I always meant for Uri to be this shrouded figure in Warriors's past where the reader can tell how deeply affected Warriors was by his death by how little he had to say about it; it took until this chapter for me to realize what exactly Warriors was trying to not remember

The fingering joke made it to the final cut exclusively because I did not have any energy to think of a new bit

My justification for Faovarians having white freckles is that Hylians are just humans with pointed ears, which highly suggests to me that there are other human cultural groups in the LOZ universe with their own fantastical physical features

The muskets were originally going to be muzzle loading muskets circa 1770s, but I upgraded them solely because I did not want to have to describe the process of reloading one

If I had stuck to the muzzle-loading muskets, Warriors's inference that Faovarians just had gunpowder lying around would be more plausible, as the gunpowder is not in the musket balls; with the change, his plan for Arlo is a bit more far-fetched

The ganons got named exclusively because I got sick of having to refer to them as "the giant machines" or other vague terms

This didn't come up in story, but the reason why there's so many dead animals around is because they were killed by poisonous gas

The Faovarians have this giant magical wall because I needed to make it really hard to infiltrate Faovarian territory, and you will find out eventually why I needed to do that

While writing this chapter, I realized that I could have cut out Whitestone and given his speech about lambs and stuff to Impa, which would help to give her more pull in the narrative

That being said, I really hoped that by name dropping Whitestone, I could quickly paint a picture of what the past few weeks had been like for Wind

Deepest apologies to Wind, but it had to be done rip

So I always knew that Twilight was going to be captured, which makes his re-entering only to get carried off again REALLY funny

There is a very specific plan I have for the trio of characters I refer to in my notes as the House of Nephus, though you aren't going to realize what it is until Nephus himself finally comes into the story

Speaking of which, I was going to provide his little brother's name but it never came up (mostly because the only one who knew it was Icarius, who can't talk)

So as a reward for reading this far into my commentary, I will tell you that the little brother's name is Philo

I would like to take a moment to thank Lincoln for being so killable that no one noticed that I explicitly outlined last chapter everything needed to kill Proxi

Which is also the reason why I was so pressed about making the audience care about her last chapter

As someone who knows her full history with Warriors, her death is significant to me, but when I planned the story, it didn't occur to me that the flashback would not have gotten to Proxi by the time she dies in the present

To help make up for the audience not caring about her as deeply as I do, I tried to linger as long as possible in Warriors's misery so that the reader can at least feel her death through him

I did have to cut an idea I was in love with: while waiting for help, a group of soldiers come upon Warriors, and when they find out that someone is stuck under the rubble, they ignore orders to dig Wind out because they're good people

I cut it because I needed Warriors to feel no amount of hope as he crashed into rock bottom

This is rock bottom because his fears of his friends going through terrible things because of him had finally come true. From the start, he had promised to put them over himself. Losing his arm put that to the test, and he mostly passed. But in the end, nothing he did actually protected Twilight or Wind

This chapter contains a reference to something that is also a final bit of foreshadowing for the scene I wrote this whole story for. I wonder if anyone can find it and if they know what it means...