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#I might as well have just written the fic
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Y’all are awesome and I appreciate the hell out of this account! Any fics that are an attempt at a season 3? Preferably comedic ones! Thank you so much and keep up the amazing work! ❤️
Hello. We have a #good omens s3 speculation tag, so check that out. Here are more to add that have some kind of humour tag...
a place to be by kaiyen (NR)
In which Crowley moves back into his flat, Aziraphale has problems at work, and the Second Coming of Christ is but a stone's throw away. In the end, Crowley makes it to rolling green hills, leant against a stubbornly yellow Bentley. He remembers the first morning. He had slithered out of the ground not long before dawn, the dirt damp even before the first rain, the grass cool and crisp against his scales. And the sun had risen, jewels spilling across the great blue sky, warm and golden from the East. Crowley – Crawly, then – had wanted to follow it, had felt a great pull Eastwards. He went, too, until he found the ripe red fruit nestled amongst the lush green leaves and knew what they were for. It was luck, then, that the humans had left in the direction of the sunrise. Luck, or– ineffable. The sun rises over the South Downs, and Crowley finally wants to stay.
The Ineffable Shades of Gray (Good Omens Season 3) by altsernative (T)
After returning to Heaven, Aziraphale learns the Metatron's true intentions, finds himself disillusioned, and regrets his choice to leave Crowley, who has been working in the Temptations department. They reunite, and find themselves stopping the final war between Heaven and Hell and learning God and Satan's true intentions for the world and each other.
Demons are Forever by in_a_pickle (T)
After finallly finding the courage to tell his best friend his feelings, Crowley's dreams are shattered when Aziraphale once again chooses Heaven over happiness together. With ‘Great Plans’ afoot upstairs, Aziraphale discovers that the starring role he accepted comes with some unforeseen duties and that Crowley’s kiss has become something of a distraction. Crowley meanwhile is trying to come to terms with a broken heart and is trying to fathom why Heaven is so keen to have Aziraphale back in the fold. A mini adventure with our favourite group of two, written in case I get hit by a bus and never get to find out what happened next.
The Intended Effect by Esme_Abner (E)
A post-S2 fic that begins with a very sad Crowley and a conflicted Aziraphale and a surprisingly not-awful Jesus. It's all building toward our boys reconciling, because like everyone else, my heart is broken and I need to pick up the pieces somehow. And they might try to like save the world again, too.
(I just can't wait for) Season 3 Good Omens! by RCReveal (T)
After Season 2, I really needed to find out how Aziraphale and Crowley could get their reunion: a real reunion & not 'pretendy real'. They both have so much growing to do with neither of them, yet, being able to even say 'I love you' clearly to each other. Angel, what's going on? What kind of doublethink are you doing to still think that Heaven is the Good side & that you can't even admit to being friends? But you'll do anything to protect the World. Crowley, always planning on running. Sorry, but that won't work. If you had run at Armageddon there'd be no here to be in. But somehow, still a little seed of optimism. And wow! what you two can do together! Especially with a little help from old and new friends. So here's a story about averting the Second Coming with that great ensemble cast of characters in Heaven, Hell, and Whickber ST. Long set up, but then starts to speed up, kinda a wild ride from chapter 42 onto the end. This story is at about the same level of cursing, violence (well, maybe a little more Gaiman-esque), humor (definitely much more Terry Pratchett-esque) and romance as that of the second season.
There's a Special Place on Earth for Beings Like You by Kipje (T)
Set two years after Aziraphale leaves to become Supreme Archangel. It’s the Second Coming. Aziraphale is tasked with finding parents for the new Christ and returns to earth. He needs Crowley’s help, but the two haven’t spoken since the break-up. Crowley doesn’t want to forgive the angel, nor does he want to help out with the baby, but he finds it incredibly hard not to get involved. OR Aziraphale and Crowley raise the new Christ together; a girl named Eden. While they try to sort out their feelings and avert the apocalypse. Excerpt: Crowley had always assumed Aziraphale would want to run away with him in order to be together. He had never bothered to ask if there was a version where they would be an ‘us’ on earth. What was Aziraphale supposed to do once they arrived in the Alpha Centauri system. How would that even work with his book collection? Sure, Aziraphale had fallen in love with the demon – and it had taken him a while to be able to admit that – but he had also fallen in love with humanity, with earth. He had never planned on leaving. He knew earth would be no fun without his favourite wily serpent, but that did not mean he would be fine anywhere as long as Crowley was there. He had standards.
- Mod D
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cosmicdahlias · 18 hours
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Can Bill Come Out To Play?
a ford x reader fic
MINORS DNI
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warnings: smut, possession, masochism, consensual torture, knife play, blood play, blood as lube, oral, spanking, choking, bruising, fainting, slapping, dubcon impreg, putting cigarettes out on you
okay y’all this one is supremely fucked up, i know i’ve written my share of dark fics but this one takes the cake if the warnings are any indication. it was a request by @thegrovesheart but i probably went way more overboard than what the anon was asking for. i’m sorry y’all are about to see how bad my kinks are, hopefully you’ll still enjoy the ride 🤞
It was late at night, you and Ford had just finished a long day of working on the portal. You were cuddled up in bed, him pressed up against you as the big spoon. He was lazily tracing his fingers over the curves of your body. You had been about to fall asleep, but the sensation of his hands on you was too arousing. You rolled over, facing him and slipped your hand to his cock.
You stroked him and he let out a soft moan, his eyes closed in pleasure. You kissed him deeply, when you pulled back he opened his eyes, they were different, wild and yellow with reptilian slits for pupils.
“Ford?”
He laughed, even his voice was off, higher, more sinister. He smiled wide, almost like the corners of his mouth were about to split open.
“I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. The name’s Bill Cipher, I’m your good old boyfriend here’s muse. I figured if I’m gonna be in his mind I might as well get acquainted the little minx that occupies his thoughts when they’re not about me. That’s right, kid, the man’s absolutely obsessed with you, well, not more than me, but you’re a close second.”
“So what do you want with me?”
“Well, dollface, I’ve been taking a peek into your dreams and I gotta say, you are quite the freak. I’m honestly impressed, most humans don’t enjoy pain nearly as much as you do. Have you told Fordsy? I doubt it, honestly he’d be too much of a pussy to do any of the shit you think about. And that’s where I come in, you love fucking Ford, but he’ll never truly satisfy you in the way you want. I have no hangups about causing pain, hell I love it! If you agree, I’ll give you everything you want and more. What do you say?”
After your time researching things like demonic possession the idea of being fucked by a demon always excited you. And the fact that he’d hurt you in ways that Ford never would? Fuck the hell yes. You should have been terrified, but when you looked into those yellow eyes you only felt desire.
“Deal.”
“Ahahaha, perfect. Let’s get started.”
Ford’s hands traveled down your body, his grip rougher than normal. He put a hand to your throat and sank his teeth into your throat. You yelped as he drew blood, it seeped down your neck and Ford dragged his tongue over the crimson liquid.
“Fuck, I forgot how good that tastes.”
He got up, searching for something.
“I know sixer keeps one around here somewh- aha!” He said, pulling out a large hunting knife.
He walked back over to the bed, getting on top of you. He dragged the flat end of the blade against your skin, every so often testing the waters by poking you with the tip light enough to not slice into your flesh, not yet. Goosebumps formed from the sensation, no one had ever done anything to you like this, you were on cloud nine.
“I think you’ll like this.” He smiled.
He let the knife travel to your inner thigh and begin to cut the soft skin. You winced and moaned. Bill let out a cold laugh.
“God you’re fucked up, kid.”
He took his time carving the words “Bill’s slut” into your thigh, pearls of blood forming at the surface. Satisfied with his work he gathered your blood on his fingertips.
“Open that pretty mouth.”
You did so and his fingers entered, the metallic taste hitting your tongue. He pulled his fingers out and replaced them with his lips aggressively to yours, tongue shoving its way into your mouth, searching for the taste of blood.
He pulled away. His wide smile hadn’t left his face since he took hold of Ford. He reversed his hold of the knife, gripping the sharp blade in his hand. He teased the entrance of your pussy with the hilt. You were dripping at the idea, inching yourself closer.
He shoved the handle aggressively inside you, fucking you with it. He didn’t let up on his grip, the knife sinking into Ford’s palm, blood trickled down the knife.
“Whoops, might as well make the best of it.”
He pulled the handle out of you and covered Ford’s blood in it before resuming fucking you with the hilt.
“Bet you never used blood as lube before have you? And judging by how wet you are I’d say you’re enjoying this.”
You whimpered, bucking your hips. Blood continued to drip from Ford’s hand, staining the sheets. He pulled the knife out and dragged you headfirst to the edge of the bed, tilting your head back back. He stroked his cock and thumbed your tongue.
“I’m gonna fuck your mouth and I’m not gonna stop even when you choke and gag on Fordsy’s cock, sound good?”
You nodded.
“Good, just try not to puke on his dick, I don’t think he’d appreciate that.”
He lined the tip up with your open lips before violently forcing his way into your mouth, holding a hand to your throat the entire time.
He thrusted relentlessly and you began to gag, saliva pooling on the floor. He pinched your nipples hard, you let out a muffled moan.
“That’s right, moan on his cock.”
He carried on fucking your mouth. Savoring your desperate attempts to breathe. He debated on covering your nose just to make things harder, he loved to see you struggle.
He pulled out, you coughed and gasped for air. He picked you up and flipped you over on your stomach, shoving your face down into the pillow and raising your ass. Ford bent over and picked up his belt. He came up behind you and brought it down hard on your ass. You moaned as a welt began to form. He continued lashing you until your legs began to shake.
“Man you really can take a beating.”
He flipped you over again, this time on your back and slipped the belt around your neck then climbed on top of you, hand tugging on the leather.
“I’ve always wanted to know what pussy feels like, Fordsy makes it sound even better than pain with the way he describes it”
He didn’t waste any time preparing you, brutally shoving his full length inside you, pumping rapidly. He moaned loudly.
“Ah ahahaha, fuck, now I see why sixer fantasizes about this all the time. It feels fucking incredible.”
He pulled hard on the belt, choking you. You tightened around his cock. Capillaries in your neck started to break, you were going to be left with one hell of a bruise. He was ruthless, fucking you with cruel intensity.
He pulled the belt even tighter, you began to asphyxiate. Finding this insanely hot, but still valuing your life you tried to tell Ford to loosen his grip, but your windpipe was being crushed. All you could manage out was a guttural choking noise as you clawed at the belt.
“I’m sorry, what was that? I can’t quite make it out.” He said, ignoring your obvious attempts to breathe. He pulled as tight as he could, you couldn’t even gasp. “Oh well, must not be important.” He shrugged, continuing to fuck you.
Despite what felt like a threat to your life you found yourself incredibly turned on. Your vision started to go black. The last thing you heard was a maniacal laugh.
-
When you came to Ford was still fucking you.
“Whoa hey you’re back, thought we lost you for a second there.” He said with his twisted smile.
His hands found your hips, he gripped them, nails digging into your flesh hard enough to break the skin.
“Say my name, slut.” He demaned.
“Nnngh, Ford.” You moaned.
He backhanded you. “I SAID SAY MY NAME, YOU STUPID CUNT!” He shouted.
“B-Bill.” You whimpered.
“That’s better. Remember who’s really in control here, sixer will never fuck you like this.”
He pounded you into the mattress. He felt himself close to cumming.
“So you’re gonna find this hilarious, I’ve been having sixer switch out your birth control with sugar pills. That’s right, they do jack shit. I’ve always been fascinated by human pregnancy and I mean hey, you’re young and fertile. And it’s too late to stop me now. Ahahahaha!”
Before you could even think to push him off you he pinned you down by the wrists, cumming deep inside you. He bucked rapidly, ropes of hot cum shooting inside you. He grunted, refusing to stop even when his cock began hurt. God he loved causing Ford pain. He didn’t know how humans got anything done or why they didn’t just fuck 24/7.
Ford took your chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Well this was fun, but it’s probably time for me to give old Fordsy his body back, don’t yo- oh wait, one last parting gift.”
He reached over to the bedside table and grabbed a lighter and pack of cigarettes. He took one out and lit it up, taking a long drag and puffing the smoke in your face. He grinned wildly, turning your head to expose your neck and putting it out on your skin. You screwed your eyes shut and moaned loudly. He bent down and licked the burn.
“Oooh wee, you sure are fun. I’m definitely coming back for more, but I think I’m satisfied for now. Okay byeeeeeeeee.”
Ford’s head snapped back. He shook his head, blinking rapidly, his eyes returning to normal.
“Ugh, wh- what happened? Did I black ou- “ He looked down at you and gasped in horror, backing away from you to the foot of the bed.
You were a shaking mess, you honestly looked like you’d been through a bear attack.
“Y/N! WHAT HAPPENED? WHO DID THIS TO YOU?” He started to hyperventilate.
You sat up and took his face in your hands. “Hey hey, it’s alright, I wanted this.”
“OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY? SHOULD I TAKE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? SHOULD I FILE A POLICE REPORT? DID I DO THIS? WHY AREN’T YOU SAYING ANYTHI-“ he froze. “D- did you say you wanted this?”
You kissed him.
“Look, I have been having some… fantasies and Bill and I both agreed that you wouldn’t be able to do them to me on your own.”
“You met Bill?”
“He was possessing you, but yeah I met him.”
He stared at you, looking terrified before attempting to fix his face to a more neutral expression, almost like he was afraid he would be punished for showing fear.
“That’s- that’s wonderful. I always hoped he’d let you meet him someda-“ now that the adrenaline had settled he got a good look at you. “Oh baby your neck.” He looked down. “Y- your thigh.”
Blood was trickling from both wounds. He looked at you with great concern.
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Like I said, I wanted this.”
Without saying a word he got off the bed and left the room, he returned with a first aid kit. He sat next to you.
“Come here.” He whispered softly.
You leaned into him as he saturated a cotton ball in disinfectant.
“Now this is going to sting quite a bit.”
He applied the soaked cotton ball to your neck wound, you drew in a sharp breath at the sensation.
“I know, I’m sorry baby.”
“No it’s okay, I like the pain.”
He gave small chuckle. “So I’ve heard.”
He took a second cotton ball, wetting it with disinfectant, pressing it to the branding that Bill had left you. You winced.
Ford kissed your cheek. “Almost done, stardust. You’re doing so good.”
He pulled gauze and medical tape out of the first aid kit. He started with the bite, lining up the gauze to cover it and securing it in place with the tape. He then turned his attention to the words carved into your thigh, doing the same.
He got up and inspected you carefully from every angle until he noticed the cigarette burn.
“Ah, hold on.”
He left the room again, coming back this time with a soapy wet rag. He sat down next to you again and gently cleaned the wound.
“You can’t use disinfectant on a burn, slows the healing.”
He then dressed the burn the same way he had for your other injuries.
He had always secretly liked treating and bandaging your wounds, he found it to be quite intimate, not even in a sexual way, just that it allowed him to be close to you.
He cupped your cheek in his hand and went to kiss you when he realized he’d gotten blood on your face. He looked down at his hand and shook his head.
“Guess Bill got me too.”
“Don’t worry, I got it.” You smiled.
You took his hand, treating and dressing it just as he had done for you. As you finished wrapping is hand in tape you kissed his knuckles.
He laid back in bed and patted the space in front of him. You crawled up next to him, returning to spooning position. He buried his nose in the crook of your neck and sighed deeply. You were seconds from falling asleep when your eyes snapped open, remembering what Bill had done to your birth control.
“Oh yeah, so uh… Bill might’ve made you knock me up.”
“WHAT???”
-
In the morning Ford would make you stay in bed, insisting you needed rest. For the next few weeks he watched you like a hawk, secretly recording any possible pregnancy symptoms. He pretended to be nonchalant about you being knocked up, only entertaining the idea if you did, but deep down the thought of you pregnant excited him.
He had always imagined continuing his legacy, teaching his child everything he knew. One day he was going to be gone and someone was going to have to continue his work, and he wanted to keep it in the family. He spent his nights after working on the portal holding you, rubbing your stomach after you fell asleep, hoping, praying even that Bill had given him a miracle.
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qveerthe0ry · 3 days
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What Means to You, What Means to Me
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Summary: Max Phillips changes everything. Written for @perotovar 's offering of Frith Word Count: 8,046 Pairing: Max Phillips Loki (The Trickster God of mischief and chaos) x afab! NB! Bisexual! Reader Rating: 18+ mdni Warnings: smut, talks about gender non-conformity, talks about gender dysphoria as it relates to sex, GENERAL GENDER FUCKERY Beta: My sweet angel @for-a-longlongtime of course A/N: Under the cut
Author's Note: First of all, I just want to thank Erin for putting together this writing challenge and sharing SO much about Norse Paganism. The effort you put into this, from the moodboards to educational resources is incredible. And the fact that you've shared something so close to you with all of us made this writing challenge feel like getting a warm hug <3
Second, see the author's note I wrote at the end (as to not spoil the story) if you want to know the ways Loki ingrained himself in this fic.
_
You’ve heard of this queer club before, but you’ve never been inside. You’d thought the descriptors were exaggerations, but you find out quickly that you were wrong. 
Security is tight at the door, and they ask you questions as they scan your ID that sound like small talk but are a bit more probing once you think about it. Your pockets are patted down and you walk through a metal detector before you even breach the front door. 
You’re wondering if it’s even worth all this. You’re by yourself, no one’s meeting you here, and you don’t plan on going home with anyone. 
Really, you’re just bored, in a fairly new city with no one familiar but your new co-workers to converse with; those are the last people you want to be around on a Friday night after a long work week. 
So you’re here. Are there a dozen other queer bars you could have gone to on this rainbow-lined street? Yes. But none of them really feel right. So you’re here, finally in clothes that you feel comfortable in, around people who aren’t going to make you feel uncomfortable in them. 
And its reputation precedes itself. 
Gaudy. Over-the-top. 
There’s three floors, the top two cut out to overlook the dance floor in the middle of the ground level. There’s chandeliers everywhere, far too ornate for a fucking nightclub. Candelabras litter every tabletop with flaming wax that you’re sure is a fire hazard in an establishment like this. There’s fuzzy, cozy-looking lounges and really hot people walking around serving complimentary waters on gold trays and maybe it was a mistake, coming here. 
But you’ve already been through the TSA of nightclubs, and so you might as well grab a drink while you’re here and make the uber ride home worth it. 
At least the drinks seem to be cheap. You take too long staring at the specialty cocktail names when a bartender asks how you’re doing, and end up ordering your favorite drink anyways. At least they seem nice, unlike some of the bars you’ve been to at the not-mandatory-but-suggestively-obligatory happy hours after work. 
You sit at the bar, a little intimidated by the fancy decor and skilled dancers that overwhelm the club. 
The music is unsuspecting, something soft and melodic that you only realize is live music when your eyes settle on her. 
Her fiery red hair cascades down her shoulders, igniting all the skin exposed by her backless dress. She’s sitting at the piano in the middle of the dancefloor, obscured by couples and others dancing around her. 
She’s everything. The most gorgeous woman you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Her nose is strong and her jawline juts and contrasts with those soft brown eyes. You’re yearning before you can even realize it, a kind of consumption that leaves you breathing heavier than normal as you sip your drink probably way too quickly. 
You focus on her long, nimble fingers, painted red at the nails and fluttering so skillfully over the ivory keys that it makes your cheeks feel hot. 
The ringing of the keys doesn't register over the thumping of your heart and the blood rushing in your ears, which feel like molten lava. Perhaps that’s why you don’t notice she’d finished her set until she’s a foot away from you, placing an order you’d only know if you were able to read lips.
Christ, her lips. Plump and painted in the same shade of red as her hair and nails, they purse as she sips from a champagne flute. She’s so dainty, and poised, everything you’ve never had the desire to be. 
And she’s staring right at you. 
“See something you like?” 
Your breath gets stuck in your lungs and your heart flutters in a medically dangerous way. 
“You’re incredible.”
The words roll off your tongue without any go-ahead from your brain. 
She laughs anyway, with her head thrown back, and the sight of her throat elongated makes your own go bone-dry. 
“If I had a nickel,” she jokes with a wink. 
Your half-melted brain scrabbles for something to say so you can be graced with her presence for even one more second. 
“How long have you been playing?” 
She quirks her perfectly shaped eyebrow at you, and she smirks, and something about the way she can see through you like cellophane turns you on and it makes you feel wicked. 
“You don’t really care, do you?” 
From your peripheral, you see her long, toned arm inching closer to yours on the bar. Her fingers touch yours, feather-light, and you shiver before you freeze in place. 
“I— No, I do.”
You can barely hear her low chuckle over the house music that’s started to play in her absence, but you do, and it sounds like heaven and hell all at once. 
Slowly, torturously, she leans closer to you, and her bubbly breath ghosts across your cheek, your jaw, and then gusts in your ear. 
“Don’t lie to me, handsome.” 
Her tone is teasing, sing-songy in a way that might be annoying if you weren’t so aroused. 
Your fingers clench around the glass you’re holding, and her own do the same over yours. 
“What do you want me to say?” 
You don’t know if you’re more scared, horny, or irritated. They’re all three tied for gold, at this point, with tipsy coming in second and way too warm bringing up the rear. 
And the pure audacity this woman has is impressive, as she places her lips so so lightly under your earlobe. You hope to god her lipstick stains. 
“Ask me if I wanna get out of here.”
Your lungs inflate too quickly, and your eyes close, and you lean into the touch of her lips. 
“Where would we go?” 
It’s a stupid question. Why in your right mind do you give a flying fuck? She could drag you to the DMV and you’d happily follow like a pup. 
She stands from the barstool, tall, taller than you realized, and the proximity puts her between your spread legs. 
Your thighs flex involuntarily, and your fingers twitch and ache to touch her. 
“I know a place. If you want?” 
Her eyebrow is quirked at you again as she leans back. You can’t find your words, so you stand in answer, and now you’re too close. Every delicious curve of her body is pressed against your front and you unhand your drink to dig your nails into the top of the bar. 
“Please.” 
Her grin is so mischievous that it startles you, those sharp canines on full display. You think about how they’ll feel against your skin as she nods her head and prompts you to follow her. 
You might as well be wearing a leash, the way you trail her so closely. You twist your fingers as the nerves start to pick back up, and all of a sudden you’re in front of some elevator doors with a very huge and intimidating bouncer guarding the buttons and staring you down. 
“Before we head up, just so you know, I’m working with a… different set of equipment than you might expect.”
You nearly ask her to repeat herself, a bit too overwhelmed with the eyes on you and the situation you’re about to get yourself into. But your brain plays a game of catch-up, and somehow this little fact makes you feel more comfortable. 
“That’s cool— me too. I mean, maybe? I don’t know what— uh, what you’d expect me to have, but… yeah.”
Your voice trails off as the big burly bouncer chuckles at you, and your face could probably melt off of your skull with how hot it feels, but then she grabs your hand and squeezes to tug you into the elevator with her. 
The club sounds are nearly all drowned out now, and you’re certain she can hear your heartbeat in the silence as she crowds you against the back wall. 
“My name’s Max,” she says, speaking all breathy and low against the skin of your neck. 
You shiver, barely eke out your own name as her body presses against yours. 
It’s heavenly, the way she feels against you, but the way she teases your earlobe between her dark cherry lips feels hellish. You still haven’t touched her, even though your hands are burning to feel the silk of her dress over her waist. You’re intimidated and horny and mentally working yourself up to do anything on your own without her giving you direct orders.
There’s a ding, and all momentum is lost when she turns away from you to enter the snow globe of a penthouse beyond the open elevator doors. You follow eagerly.
“This is your place?” 
Your voice is awe-filled as you look around. The walls are just windows, and the city lights and the last few minutes of sunset brighten all the dark wood and leather around you. 
“Yeah, so’s the club.”
Her tone is nonchalant, and you gape at her as she steps out of her strappy, expensive-looking high heels. Maybe you shouldn’t be so surprised. She has all the confidence of someone who owns the world, and her cockiness is reflected in the ostentatious nature of the club and her penthouse. 
But you’re still shocked. Maybe you’re shocked because she’s chosen you, out of every other patron, to come up here with her. 
“It’s nice— the club. And here, too.” 
She chuckles and shrugs but she thanks you as her bare feet bring her close to you once more. You feel your hackles raise as she approaches, along with your heart rate, but she walks right past you. 
“Follow me.”
As if you’d dream of doing anything else. 
Her bedroom is all windows, too. The bed is huge, much bigger than a normal king, and the space itself is fairly empty of any personal touches. It suits her mystique. You feel like you have a million unanswered questions, but none of them matter when she shoves you down onto the mattress and straddles your thighs. 
Your mouth drops open, but she steals the words from your breath when she grabs your hands and places them on her hips.
Finally. 
Fuck, she feels incredible under this silky dress as you squeeze her waist and arch your hips up into her. 
You tell her as much, and get another one of those cocky chuckles that goes straight to your center. 
“Do your worst, handsome.” 
And maybe you’ve never been the best at getting into someone’s bed, but you’re certain you’re the best once you’re between the sheets. 
It’s no exception, with her. You’re so eager to please. You worship every last inch of her body once it’s revealed to you. You take note of all the places you kiss and lick that make her breath hitch, you tease her until her cock weeps, and you take her so far down your throat that tears sting your eyes. 
Her nails dig into your scalp, and you feel like the cocky one when she begs you to pull off, when she tells you that you’ve damn near sucked her soul out through her dick. 
Your clit is throbbing and you’ve soaked through your underwear by the time she hastily pulls them off of you. She kisses you breathless and bites your lip with her sharp teeth as you roll the condom down her length. The way she whimpers when you finally straddle her sends you reeling. Your hand finds her tit, and your palm rolls against her taut nipple as you finally get her cock to slide through your slick folds. She arches into your touch and she begs and there’s no force powerful enough to keep you from giving in to her pleas.
Her face twists up so fucking beautifully as you impale yourself on her. Inch by inch, so slowly, teasing her like she’d teased you earlier in the night. You feel satisfied and hungry at the same time when you’re flush with her thighs. Her hips buck when you pinch her nipple, and she hits the perfect spot, and neither of you have any resolve leftover. 
It’s a give and take that lasts too long and is over far too quick. You ride her, and she thrusts up into you, back and forth until you both crumble at the same time, blinding and intense and loud. 
You might black out. 
One moment you’re stroking her skin with your fingertips and thanking her over and over, and the next you’re sitting up against her headboard with a glass of water in one hand and her fiery hair in the other. 
She’s sighing in your lap, nuzzling into the heat of your thighs with her aquiline nose. 
“You’re incredible,” you say for probably the millionth time that night. 
She chuckles again, just like she did when you first told her, but her pretty brown eyes shine when she looks up at you. 
“You’re not so bad yourself, handsome.”
Your face gets all hot again, and you feel shy, eyes darting around the room to focus on anything but the gorgeous woman resting on you. 
“Does it bother you when I call you that?” 
You huff. 
“Not at all.”
“Are you trans?” 
You huff again. 
“No. I— I don’t know. I’m just… me. In-between. I don’t really feel like I fit any one description.”
She hums and presses a kiss to your mound through your underwear.
“I understand.” 
“I’ve always been like this, you know? Before I knew what it was. I just didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin. Not in an insecure way. Just that it didn’t feel right.” 
“Do you want a dick?”
Her bluntness makes you laugh. 
“Sometimes I do.”
She nods, and the way her silky hair feels against your bare thighs makes you shiver. 
“It’s actually kind of awesome, I’m not gonna lie.”
She laughs with you. 
“Don’t rub it in.”
“I’ll rub it in if you give me another five minutes.”
She does.
You fall asleep in her arms, exhausted and sated and happy.
She’s gone in the morning. All the shades are drawn, those same hazardous candles from the club lighting the apartment dimly. Your clothes are dry cleaned and hanging in a bag you’re certain costs more than your entire outfit. There’s a note next to your half-empty glass of water on the nightstand.
See you around. 
Except you don’t. 
You wait eight whole days to go back to the club. You wear something nicer, go through the tight security, and saunter up to the bar with much more confidence than your first visit. You wait for her. You drink one too many and hope to find her walking around or playing the piano. 
A few people come up to you and ask you to dance, and you refuse each one with the bitter taste of irony on your tongue, and then you go home alone after last call with a headache and queasy stomach. 
Maybe she’s just out of town, you tell yourself. She owns an entire nightclub, she’s clearly a very important woman, probably quite busy, too. 
You go back the next weekend, and the next, and you don’t see her once. 
So after a month, you go again and this time you accept the offers to share a dance, grind against people with a weird confidence you know comes from the woman you hope to see tonight. You share meaningless kisses and buy a few people drinks but refuse an offer or two to ‘get out of here.’
You start to lose hope when the dim lights flicker brighter and last call is announced. But as you bid goodbyes to a group you were hanging with, that very large and scary bodyguard from the elevators is walking towards you, and this time his presence is more exciting and less intimidating. 
“Max would like you to come upstairs.”
And while it’s kind of annoying, and seems pretentious— why didn’t she come down here and tell you herself?— you follow. Eagerly. Once again. 
He lets you take the elevator up by yourself, and this time the anxiety is more anticipation than it is fear. 
Though, when the doors open, you’re face to face with a guy.
He’s got a familiar cocky smirk on his face, messy gelled hair, and he’s leaning up against a wall with his arms crossed. 
Panic, is what your body tells you to do, leave, run. But you’re frozen under his thick gaze. 
The elevator doors start to shut, and you take a step back when he moves to hold them open, but he chuckles. 
A cocky little chuckle. 
“Who are you?” 
“I’m Max.”
“No you’re not.”
“C’mon, handsome. It’s me.”
You shiver when he calls you that, but not in the same way you did when she said it. 
“Is this some kind of joke? Listen, she didn’t tell me she was exclusive with anyone—”
He cuts you off by saying your name in a pleading tone. 
“Come in, please, just give me a minute to prove it to you.”
Panic. Run. Leave.
You ignore every instinct to finally step out of the elevator. 
“You told me, last time, that sometimes you wished you had a dick. Right?”
You nod before you can think better of it. 
Who is this guy?
You’re no stranger to genderfluidity, the way a haircut or makeup or different clothes can drastically change someone’s look— but this isn’t that. This can’t be that. While they have similar features, her sharp noise was still softer, her eyes were less crinkled at the edges, her brow bone was much less prominent. If this is smoke and mirrors, she’s one hell of a magician. 
“Do you wish you had one right now?”
“I mean, yeah, I guess. Are you guys twins or something? What’s going on?” 
He chuckles again, and you have to say, it’s much less arousing coming from him than it was from your Max. He reaches out to touch your arm, and you want to shove him away, but you can’t.
Your body feels frozen, again, but not from fear. There’s a strange sensation that courses through you, some unexplainable energy that makes your bones feel like they’re vibrating, makes your blood feel thick and heavy in your veins. 
It scares you, but the newly soft look on this Max’s face is just comforting enough to keep you from a full-fledged panic attack. 
That, and the fact that it’s over just as quick as it started. Your body loosens back up as Max’s hand on your arm rubs reassuring circles. 
But then you feel weird. A strange turning low in your gut, kind of like arousal, but not quite. And your pants feel tighter, more constricting than they did earlier. 
You look down. 
There’s a bulge in your pants, like there would be if you were packing. But you’re not. You’re certain you made the decision to leave it at home when you left earlier in the night. 
You look back up at him. He’s smirking. 
“You can touch it.”
You do, despite your brain screaming how weird it would be to touch your crotch in front of a man you’ve never met before. 
You have a dick. 
You feel it now, and while the feeling of it in your hand isn’t foreign to you, the fact that it’s sensitive and fucking actually attached to your body is. 
You pull your hand away like it’s been scalded. 
“What the fuck?! How did you—“
You stare at him open-mouthed and terrified and maybe a little bit turned on.
“Does it matter? I gave you what you’ve always wanted.” 
He looks from your face to your… dick, and back again, smirking, admiring, like he’s just finished an art project.
“Will it… Will it go back?”
“Do you want it to?”
“I— I don’t know.”
Max chuckles that damn chuckle, all full of himself. But this time, it’s her. You know it is, now. As crazy as it sounds, it’s the only thing that makes sense. This is your Max. 
“Why don’t you take it for a test drive? If you don’t like it, I’ll change you back.”
You gape at him. It’s all clicking. This is your Max, and they’ve listened to you and done something so fucking weird but so fucking sweet. You don’t know how, and you honestly are starting to care less and less the longer Max keeps staring at you like he’s proud. Of you or himself, you’re not so sure, but it’s working. 
“It’s— it’s you, isn’t it?” 
“I told you so.”
“Fuck,” you sigh, “where have you been? I came back. Every weekend.” 
Max hums. 
“I was a little caught up. Got into a bit of trouble, as I do. But I’m back, and I wanted to see you. I’m glad you came.”
“Are you— I mean… you look a lot different?” 
He shrugs. 
“Do you still think I’m hot? I can change back—”
“No! No, sorry, I don’t mean to be rude. I was just confused. You’re still—”
“Incredible?” 
You huff a laugh, and finally relax for the first time since you got into that elevator. 
“Yeah. Incredible.”
His cocky demeanor falls to the wayside to make room for something more sincere. He takes a few steps until you’re face to face with him, and places a suspiciously cold hand on the back of your heated neck. 
“I missed you,” he mumbles. 
“I— I missed you too. That night… I’ve thought about it so much.”
“Mmm, yeah? Me too.”
You kiss the stupid smirk off of his face. 
He tastes the same as you remember before, like champagne and sweet mint and her. His teeth are just as sharp, scraping your tongue as it explores every bit of his mouth. 
His free hand grabs your hip and pulls you even closer to him and fuck, that feels better than it has any right to. Your cock stirs in your pants and you buck your hips again, fiending for this new type of friction. 
“Come to bed with me?” 
All you can do is nod and follow. 
The bedroom looks just the same as it did last time, but the lack of sunlight makes everything feel quieter tonight— slower, more serene. 
He turns down the covers slowly, and you stand at the foot of the bed, extremely uncertain about what happens next, even though your dick throbs with anticipation. 
“You still into this?” 
Max’s voice startles you out of your own head. 
“Yeah, sorry. Nerves.”
He hums and steps closer to you. 
“Nothing to be nervous about, handsome.”
You nod and let your eyes trace up and down his body, noting his broad shoulders in that crisp white dress shirt and his thick thighs under the satiny sheen of his slacks. He’s still just as gorgeous in this masculine form, and it’s as irritating as it is enticing.
“Do you wanna fuck me?” 
“Shit.” 
His words go straight to your cock, and you’re unashamed to palm it in your hand and press and curse at the completely new sensation. 
“I’m assuming that’s a yes,” he chuckles. “Do you want my ass or my pussy?” 
Your hand on yourself stills. 
“You— you have a pussy?”
“I can.”
And it shouldn’t surprise you, after everything else that’s happened in the last ten minutes, but it still does. Your breath stutters in your chest and your dick fills out even more against your hand and you distantly wonder how big Max made it, if it’s exactly what he wants. 
“Can I— Will you show me your pussy?” 
He leers at you when you ask, and it only turns you on even more. 
“I was hoping you’d go for that.”
He starts unbuttoning his shirt, but this whole mad situation has you feeling much more comfortable, in a fuck it kind of way. You step into his space and work the buttons free, and follow with your mouth. His skin is cold under the heat of your lips, and by the time his shirt hangs free from his shoulders you’ve made it your personal mission to warm up every inch of him. 
It’s easy to work his belt open, undo his fly and watch it open to a thick thatch of pubic hair. You pause to press your lips to his again, to reach around to cup his pert asscheeks as his slacks fall to the floor. 
You can’t stop grinding against him, even as you press him back and down onto the bed. You just follow, fully clothed, hesitant to deny yourself this new heady feeling of pressure to your cock. 
It’s only when he suckles your top lip and reaches down to palm you that you realize you’re teetering on the edge of embarrassing yourself. 
Your hips jolt away from him and it hurts a bit when you rip your lip out between his teeth, but all the better to take your mind off the intense, heavy arousal in your gut. 
“Okay?” 
He asks it with a smirk, like he already knows the answer, so you don’t give him one. You just stare down past your heaving chest to see the damp spot on your pants and start to unfasten them to relieve some of the pressure. 
“You’re gonna want to chill out. Refractory periods are annoying with those things,” he warns. 
You huff. 
“That’s kind of you,” you joke. 
It’s better, just in the thin fabric of your underwear, less resistant. You want to take them off too, but you’re afraid that the euphoria from seeing yourself with a dick will really conflate the issue at hand. 
So you shuffle down the bed a bit, and press your lips to Max’s flat chest, to his nipples that are half the size they were last time. They pebble quickly under your attention, and you bite down on one when you accidentally drag your cock along the mattress. 
He groans and arches into you, goads you on with a hand on the back of your neck. 
“Are you as good at eating pussy as you are at sucking dick?” 
It’s almost comical, the way he applies pressure to urge you further down his body. 
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
You nip at his sparse happy trail as he pushes you down with his large hand on your shoulder and delight in the way his muscles twitch under your mouth. 
“Some time this century, yeah.”
You hum, nose at the wiry curls on his mound and grab the wrist of his hand that’s still pressing on you. 
“You’re not very gentlemanly,” you tease.
He laughs as he stares down at you with his dark eyes. His hand moves to cup your jaw and you let it, let him trace your bottom lip with his thumb. 
“Is that what you want? A gentleman?”
You suck his thumb into your mouth as you shake your head, grinning around his knuckle. You bite down a little harder than you mean to and he hisses. He yanks his hand from your mouth to grab the back of your head and tug until your face is buried between his thighs. 
You relent, breathing in the scent of him, bypassing any preamble to shove your tongue inside of him. The way his hips buck into your face makes you smirk into his folds and dig your nails into the skin of his thighs. 
He still makes the most beautiful noises, when you get down to it. Desperate, hungry, eager. For as cocky as he is, he sure writhes against you like a shameless whore as he whispers curses into the dark room. 
You savor the taste of him, the warmth and tightness of him around your fingers, the scratchy feeling of his bush tickling your nose. The way his strong thighs tense and relax under your grasp makes you want to feel them do the same around your waist. 
You look up when he starts clenching around your fingers like a vice, and the thought of that feeling around your new dick makes you whimper into his pussy. You focus even more on the way you suckle and flick his clit, to try and set the arousal aside so you don’t come before you can even slip into him. 
He’s got his head thrown back, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, his back arched off the bed when he finally shudders and comes. You work him through it, lapping at his dripping hole, letting him grind against your tongue until he’s squirming away from your touch. 
You’re dragging this out. Stalling. You press little biting kisses to his thighs and his mound as he’s coming down. Maybe if you just worked him through one more, you’ll be calm enough to—
“C’mere already.”
You roll your eyes at him as he tugs on you, but you go willingly to hover over him and let him lick his taste from your mouth. His hums are lower and more subdued in the aftermath and they rumble deep in your chest as you try your hardest not to grind into him. 
It doesn’t matter. 
His free hand wraps around your cock and the feeling turns you on so much that you almost feel nauseous. You can feel all five of his fingers there, even with how big his hands are. He’s around you, and the familiar sensation on the inside mixed with the foreign sensation against your skin is a bit confusing but so hot. He squeezes and you jolt, bite down hard on his lip, but it only makes him chuckle. 
“That good, huh?” 
You groan into the crook of his neck in answer, completely at a loss for words. 
“I’d like to say the novelty wears off, but I haven’t found that it does.”
You feel like you’re on fire, honestly, like you’re trapped in a burning building with no way out. It’s hard to speak or breathe or think with his hand wrapped around you over your underwear. You can’t even begin to imagine how good his skin is going to feel against yours. 
“C’mon, handsome, lie back for me.”
You do, with his help, reclined back against his decorative pillows. Your breathing is ragged as he takes his time getting your shirt off and pressing surprisingly sweet kisses to everything revealed to him. 
You ground yourself by petting his hair, coarse and a little sticky from hair gel but thick enough to be extremely satisfying to card through. For a moment you’re able to focus on the feeling of it slipping between your fingers instead of the throbbing of your prick. 
But then his thick fingers find the elastic waistband and creep underneath. It shocks you out of your false sense of security. When your panicked eyes meet his, they’re so warm and soft you think you could maybe cry a little about it. But he speaks up instead. 
“Are you still okay with everything going on?”
And you are, even though you’re hanging by a thread and preemptively embarrassed by what’s about to go down; you want it so bad. 
So you nod. 
“Words, handsome.”
You huff. 
“Yes, Max. Please.”
He hums and smiles. 
“Good boy.”
You’re engulfed by embarrassment when your cock jumps dramatically at his words, right beneath his hovering face. You feel even hotter when he huffs out a laugh.
But then he’s pulling your underwear, and it’s there, in plain sight, a gorgeous cock. It’s perfect, it’s how you’ve always imagined yours would look if you had one. Like Max knew, somehow, was inside your brain and could see the same fantasies that you could. 
It jerks again in the cool air. You can feel the blood rushing there, a powerful gush that makes it twitch when you think about how it’s your dick, on your body. He hasn’t even touched you yet and you can feel pre-cum dripping down your shaft. 
“Can I taste?” He asks. 
You nod, then remember your words. 
“Please.”
You can’t produce more than a whisper as you watch him lean forward, like slow motion, with his tongue hanging out dramatically and his eyes locked on yours. 
The first touch of his tongue against your skin has your hips flying off the mattress at a speed that you’re sure defies laws of physics. 
He just looks so fucking gorgeous with your prick eclipsing the middle of his face. Your prick looks so gorgeous. God, you’re starting to understand where cis men get their audacity from. 
You tighten your grip on his hair for no other reason than you need something to hang onto or you might just float off into space. He teases you with more kitten licks, up one side, then the other, and you watch in awe. You can’t take your eyes off it, even though it may delay the inevitable if you could. 
He kisses the head of it, and his tongue does something wicked right underneath it that makes you tug his head back by his gelled locks. 
“Too much?” He asks, even as he winces at your tugging. 
“You’re teasing, and all that’s going to lead to is disappointment on your end.”
God, why do you sound like you’ve just run a marathon?
“I’ll never be disappointed by making you come, handsome.”
He’s so fucking annoying. You want to fuck his face just to shut him up, but you know that would only last about ten and a half seconds. 
You curse and close your eyes and dig your head back into the pillows. He must take it as a signal to continue, because bright, staticky stars burst behind your eyelids when he takes you into his mouth for the first time. 
Fuck. You’re inside him. It feels hot and wet, kind of squishy, but so tight when he sucks and sinks his mouth down even farther. 
You yell. The dramatic noise is ripped from your vocal chords without your consent, and your eyes fly open to look down at him. Those plush fucking lips look so goddamn good wrapped around you, all wet and red and swollen. You squeeze his hair in your hand. You’re so torn between wanting to chase the warmth of his mouth and wanting to arch away from it. 
Then you feel it, that familiar twisting deep and low in your gut, only it’s ten times as intense as it usually is. You start to panic. 
“Max! Max, please, I’m—!”
He pulls off quickly, and squeezes the base of your jerking dick. It kind of hurts, and you hiss and watch in horror and wait for something to come out. But it doesn’t. It’s so weird, the way he’s manually shut down your orgasm with one touch. Completely different than the way you would have had to hold back without this new dick. 
“That’s—”
“Incredible, right?” 
You huff in the midst of catching your breath. You still feel like a hair trigger, but without someone’s finger hovering over it now. 
“Oh my god,” you sigh. 
He laughs and lets go of you. You watch him wipe the corners of his pretty mouth and distantly think that you can’t wait until you get used to this, so you can make him gag and watch his drool and your cum seep from it. 
Your dick jerks at the thought, and it’s strange to have the evidence of your arousal be so obvious. It’s like a damn car alarm. 
“Wanna fuck me now?” 
You laugh, delirious. 
“My new nickname’s gonna be One Pump Chump.”
He slithers up the bed to lie beside you. 
“It’s totally understandable. Normal, even.”
You raise your eyebrow at him. 
“How big is the sample size?”
He shrugs and smirks but his eyes focus on the bedsheets between you. 
“I know I seem like a douchebag, but I really just wanna help.”
You pout at him, but fix your face before he looks back up at you. You run your hand through his hair, gently this time, and something about this whole situation is making your heart feel all gooey. 
“You only seem like a little bit of a douchebag.”
He grumbles at you but smiles. 
“Besides, there’s like, a billion things you’re gonna want to try with that thing. You’ll get practice.” 
That thing suddenly doesn’t feel as pressing anymore. You’re still hard as rock, but it finally feels like it would take a little more than a gentle breeze to make you spill. 
“Let me fuck you, then.”
“Yeah?”
You nod and smile; and some of that eagerness comes back to light up his devious eyes. He reaches for the condoms in the bedside table and you admire all of the taut muscles under his tan skin. 
“You want help with this?” 
You roll your eyes, but it’s kinda sweet. You’ve never actually put one on at this angle before. So you get between his thighs when he lies back and let him roll it on you. 
“You can definitely get someone pregnant with this too, so… be warned. Don’t sue me about it, it won’t go over well in court.”
Your dick bobs in his grasp as you laugh. It feels so weird and fascinating.  
“Noted, thank you for the disclaimer. And sorry about the lawsuit?” 
He squeezes your prick around the condom and smiles up at you. 
“No worries, that was decades ago.”
You laugh until the words catch up with you. But you don’t have time to question it much, because he’s lying back and spreading his thighs for you, getting a pillow under his hips so his glistening pussy is tilted perfectly. Your mouth waters at the sight of him so aroused and ready for you, and at the thought of how much more wet and tight and hot it’s going to feel compared to his mouth. 
You sigh and play with his little clit, still wet from your saliva. He keens and seeks out more friction and you have to fuck him. His pussy is even more enticing now, knowing you can slide your prick inside. 
You shuffle closer and try to remind yourself to take your time. You purposefully glide your hands up his thighs, feeling the way the hair gets more sparse and fine the further up you go. You’re delighted by the little goosebumps that form under your fingertips and the way he sounds so relaxed when he sighs. 
Shuffling even further now, you settle those thick thighs over your own and let your knees cage his slim hips. When you look up, he’s watching you through hooded eyes with his bottom lip between his teeth.
“You really are gorgeous,” you tell him, softly, afraid to disturb what’s becoming a very peaceful calm before the storm. 
His breath hitches a little and you see it as it ripples his chest. 
“You really are handsome,” he winks back. 
Your hand wanders up higher, across his ribs, and your thumb presses against his stiff nipple and rolls it. You feel the small noise he makes under your palm and smile. 
Your other hand grabs the base of your cock, sure to keep the base of the condom from slipping down. The subtle move kind of makes you feel like a pro, and you’d snicker about it if the euphoria that flooded through your body didn’t overwhelm you. 
It’s kind of like an out of body experience. But you’re also painfully aware of your body and this new appendage and the way the feeling of it is wreaking havoc on your entire being. 
You slide your cock through his wet folds and even just this feels incredible, the way every bit of him feels rubbing against your sensitive cockhead. You can’t drag it out any longer, you know. 
“Are you ready?” You ask him hesitantly. 
“Are you ready?” 
You snort and roll your eyes and pinch his nipple. His back arches and the movement makes your dick slip down, press just barely against his opening. You suck in a breath and it takes every ounce of willpower not to shove yourself inside to chase that wet heat. 
“Okay, okay, I’m ready. Just fuck me already. Gonna feel so good.”
For him or for you, you’re not sure which he means, but it doesn’t matter. 
You try to take your time. You really do. But as soon as the head of your prick slips in it’s like you have no self control. 
You chase the warmth, plunge all the way into him, and stay. 
Oh my god. 
“Oh my god.”
Max chuckles at you and you can feel it. You’re so fucking wrapped up in him. Every little move, shift, clench, it surrounds you and overwhelms you. 
“You feel so fucking good, Max.”
You’re sure you look absolutely wild. Your jaw is permanently dropped, eyes wide as you try with all of your might to hang on. 
“Ditto,” he breathes. 
His eyes look dark and intense, when your eyes can finally focus in. 
“Do you— did you make it exactly how you like?” 
It’s so stupid to be asking questions right now but it’s the only thing you have to keep you somewhat composed. 
“Yeah,” he admits, a little breathless. 
“You get off on that?”
You know he does before he answers, can feel him clench and contract around you. You muster up the dexterity to find his clit with your thumb and press. 
“I do! I do, fuck.”
You finally start to inch out of him, slowly, afraid that too much friction will send you over the edge. 
“Are you using me like a toy?” 
He whimpers, and the sound alone makes you snap your hips back into him. 
“No, no, that’s not it.”
Your brows rise up in question, and you pull out again as you wait for him to explain. 
“It’s— I dunno. I like that you… hah, shit, like that, don’t stop.”
You feel smug that you’ve derailed his thoughts by starting to fuck him with a slow rhythm, if only because he’s derailed yours a million times in the two nights you’ve shared. 
You circle his clit and groan at the way his pussy squeezes you. It’s hard to even pull out of him, it’s like he’s sucking you right back in. 
“You were saying?”
And it doesn’t sound smooth coming from your mouth, your breathing labored and your voice strained. 
“I like that you’ll think of me when you fuck. I like knowing I made you like this for me even if others get to enjoy it. I like knowing— shit— I like knowing I’m the one that makes you feel good.”
You balk at his confession. Such a beautiful explanation for something so possessive. From anyone else it would sound so objectifying. But with this strange relationship the two of you have, it makes your entire body burn. 
You collapse on top of him once the words really sink in. You hide your face in his sweaty neck and begin to rut into him with the knowledge that you’ll probably crumble far too quickly, but you don’t quite care. 
“You do, you make me feel so good,” you tell him. 
He whines and works his hips against yours to meet your frantic thrusts. You grab his hair again and bite faint marks into his neck that make him writhe and squirm against you. 
“You do too— harder, please, fuck me harder.”
Man, your hips are starting to ache, just like with your strap, but this time the sensation of feeling him wrapped around your very real cock keeps the discomfort at bay and it’s just pure bliss. 
So you double down, raise back up to put more of your back into it. Your sweaty hands slip against his skin as you try to grab his hips for leverage. 
“You gotta touch yourself for me,” you pant. 
The way he scrambles to comply just turns you on even more, gives you one more tick in the ‘power tripping’ column. He looks so fucking beautiful under you, back all arched in pleasure, his face scrunched up in concentration. His bicep is bulging as he slides three fingers back and forth across his clit, so frantic but so practiced. 
You fuck him and try to think about anything other than how good he feels. You’re plunging into the world’s softest, warmest hole and he’s moaning for you, you’re making him feel just as good as you do, and you’re going to lose it. 
“Gonna come, Max. I can’t—”
“Do it, come for me. Wanna be the first.”
Your hips stutter as the wave finally, finally crashes over you. You try so hard to fuck through it, try to make him come again, but as the first shock of your orgasm spikes up your spine, you can’t think to do anything but try to bury yourself as far as you can into his tight cunt. 
You know he’s saying something encouraging by the tone of his voice, but his words go in one ear and out the other as you grind into him and rest your sweaty forehead in the middle of his chest. It feels so good you could cry. 
Your fingertips dig into the flesh of his hips as you ride it out, and your chest starts to burn and your throat starts to ache and your eyes start to burn.
You are crying. 
“Shit.”
It comes out as a broken sob, muffled into his chest, and he starts at the sound. 
“Hey, it’s okay. Just breathe.”
You shake your head against him. 
“I’m fine.”
“I know, just breathe though.”
The breaths you suck in are all shuddery and stilted, and there’s snot, and it’s so embarrassing but comforting all at once. 
He urges you to slip out, and he even holds the condom for you, pulls it off, and ties it while you try to reel yourself in.
You don’t, not right away at least, because once you get over the crazy rush of endorphins and serotonin and dopamine or whatever that’s flooded your body, you start feeling extremely self conscious about the whole sobbing during sex thing, and the fact that he didn’t get off, and—
“Come snuggle?” 
You’re not sure when he got up, but he’s holding up a robe for you in one hand, and cradling your head in the other, and ushering you out into the living room. His fireplace is on now, and there’s a tall, snobby glass bottle of water on his end table. 
You’re tired, now. Like, bone-deep exhaustion. You slump into him where he’s sprawled out on his leather couch and close your watery eyes. 
“I’m sorry.”
He shushes you gently, pets your head that’s on his chest that definitely has your dried snot on it still. 
“Don’t be sorry. As long as you feel good, I feel good.”
You nod, and taking a deep breath comes easier to you this time. You brave a look up at him, and his eyes are warmer than ever as they reflect the orange-yellow flames.
“Thank you.”
He smirks then, and you feel the tension in the room shift. 
“So how was it?”
You grin and hide it in his pecs. You’re hyper aware of your spent dick lying soft and sticky on your thigh. You’re so much more tired than you ever usually are after an orgasm. It was all so different, every little bit of it. And there’s this calmness you feel now, after all the commotion, and it hits you all at once that it all feels right. 
There’s no cleaning your strap, putting away your toys, no sliding on your underwear to hide the thing that just gave you pleasure. There’s no awkward dissonance. It’s just… normal. Normal in a way it’s never been before. Effortless bliss, like a sensory deprivation tank. Nothing. 
“It was everything.”
-
Author's Note: I wanted to share a bit about what really resonated with me as I learned more about Loki. The one thing that stuck with me throughout this writing challenge is that Loki is not a bad guy. I will be honest, the only thing I knew about Loki before this was from the MCU, which to me seems like an oversimplification of the norse god from everything I've learned about him. Erin provided me with this very thorough video that analyzes Loki and his myths. To me, he seems like someone who liked to 'stir the shit' for the sake of curiosity. I didn't find much ill will at all in these tellings of his trickery, just a guy who wanted to fuck around and find out about things, someone who did more than just wonder what would happen.
Second, Erin said he's Like a fun older brother. Very playful and mischievous. Very straight-forward. Protector of outcasts; lgbtq+ folks, disabled people, neurodivergent people, etc. This was another driving force behind this fic. It wasn't a coincidence that Max met reader their first night at the club, they founded the club for the sole purpose of creating a safe space for queer people and takes an active role in making sure their patrons feel like they belong.
Lastly, Erin said their pick for me would be Max / Loki because of the gender fuckery, which excited me as much as it made me feel honored. When watching the aforementioned video, I learned about Loki turning himself and Thor into a bridesmaid and a bride, respectively. Loki himself was unrecognizable and was the exact image of a woman. However, Thor pretty much just looked like himself in a dress (this is paraphrasing.) I loved the idea that Loki's shapeshifting could not only be directed toward other people, but could vary in vagueness. These undefined rules for Loki’s gender felt like how I personally view gender in general, as well as how I relate it to my own identity, and I really took that idea and ran with it.
Anyway, thank you again @perotovar for this writing challenge and the piece of yourself you shared with all of us. I love you so much! <3
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soul-rillo · 3 days
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Hello hello! Rillo here.
I wanted to give a really quick update on my fic An Untimely Distraction.
Chapter 4 is well on its way. We're currently sitting at about 4000 words as of writing this post (not as of posting, as that'd be on Soul's schedule). I can see this chapter easily getting up to 6000 words with what I have left to write, and on top of that, it will be getting more art than the other chapters have. For what I've already got written out, I have 3 - 4 pieces of artwork planned.
That being said, it might be a little while longer before it gets posted. The writing will likely be done within a few days from now, but the art will set us back a teensy weensy bit.
Here's what goes on in my mind while I write this fic:
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And just to keep y'all going, here's a tiny snippet from the chapter:
Vox’s gaze trailed after her before catching a glimpse of a pair of brown eyes observing him over the rim of a whiskey glass, partially hidden behind auburn bangs. They briefly flicked down to an open newspaper. Why was Alastor watching him?
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nebbyy · 2 days
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A list of my most unpopular ASOIAF opinions and theories
Please remember this is all based on the books alone, and there also might be SPOILERS for Fire and Blood and the Game of Thrones book series.
ALSO I might open the requests for Game of Thrones fics and headcanons, and maybe for Baldur's Gate as well once I get back into it.
Okayyy so here we gooo.
1. Maegor's story doesn't add up
Don't get me wrong, he must've obviously been a horrible king and a shitty husband, but reading the chapters that talk about him in Blood and Fire, it all just felt like a list of rumours and versions of all nefarious crimes he would've committed. There are about five versions of whatever he did with each wife of his, each of them more depraved than the one before.
Again, I don't think he was an angel or anything, but my theory is that his history was written by biased sources. His reign was made illicit by Jaehaerys, so it would've been in his best interest to have him remembered as nothing more than a viscious monster.
It's a form of "damnatio memoriae" that we've already seen, in a way, with Mushroom and the Dance of Dragons. When in a conflict, and especially after a victory, each side wants to depict the side they beat as badly as possible Caesar did a similar thing in "De Bello Gallico", the book about his conquest of the modern French and Swiss territories. In this book he excuses his conquest with the supposed preparations for an attack by the Helvetians, a fact that was proven to be misinterpreted as it was a mere pacific migration. And again, he did the same thing when he accused them of cannibalising each other while being under siege, another untrue fact made up to just make them seem worse.
So in a way, Maegor's reputation could've been made worse by following historians to legitimate Jaehaerys' reign over Aerea's claim.
2. Incest has no effects on Valyrians
Okay, this is a bit weirder. My theory is that Valyrians practised incest because it had no effect on their offspring.
Looking at the Targaryen family tree, I noticed that the cases of madness increase the more Targaryens marry with other houses. Baelor the Blessed was the first mad Targaryen, and he had a grandmother of house Harte and a great grandmother who was half Arryn.
Before Baelor, Helaena is questionably considered mad as well, which would prove my theory furthermore had it not been for the amount of trauma she endured in her life so I'm honestly not gonna count her as "mad". Rhaegel Rargaryen was the second confirmed mad Targaryen, with a Martell mother; his daughter Aelora is questionably considered mad too, and her mother is an Arryn.
Aerion Brightflame was another mad Targaryen, with a half Martell father and a Dayne mother. The last two mad Targaryens were Aerys II and Viserys III, but at this point, the bloodline was mixed with others enough to make the Targaryen madness an unpredictable factor.
So I think we could theorise that Valyrians can perform incest so long as it remains within pure Valyrian blood.
3. There is no good or bad in the Dance of Dragons
Rhaenyra had a claim on the throne because of Viserys' will, but Aegon had a claim on the throne because of the laws of Westeros themselves. You can argue that Alicent wasn't the nicest stepmother, yet you can't look me in the face and tell me a woman in the middle ages married to a KING to whom she had given THREE SONS wouldn't complain when the king dismisses all of them and their claims in favor of his firstborn daughter.
Otto may have manipulated Alicent, but that was just how a Lord was supposed to act in that situation: have her marry the best candidate (the king), have her birth at least a son (she did) and make sure those children are first in line for the throne (as it should be, by the laws).
Viserys shouldn't have remarried if he already had his heir, period.
At the same time, Rhaenyra had every reason to fight for her claim and try and go against the actual laws of Westeros, but it was inevitable that many would've seen badly her attempt at claiming what was Aegon's birthright.
Lucerys was an asshole for mutilating Aemond and never showed remorse, quite the opposite. Aemond was an asshole who shouldn't have had all the power he had, plus I hardly believe his and Alys relationship was really consensual so there's that..
In the end, they all had their rights and wrongs, but that doesn't matter at all. The only point about the Dance is the fact that a pointless conflict led to the downfall of one of the strongest families in Westeros history.
4. Rhaegar didn't love Lyanna
I hate the series for making them marry. Like, seriously, have D&D ever read the books? Have they not read what happened between Maegor and the Faith when he took another wife??
Never, not even in the most twisted of universes, would the faith let Rhaegar kidnap and marry a Stark girl while he was still married to Elia. That just wouldn't be plausible.
And I also don't think he'd just fall in love at first sight with a random girl at a tournament. She was a beautiful soul and had many qualities, but she had nothing that could truly make a man throw away his whole life to pursue her.
He needed another child. The dragon has three heads. He had Rhaenys and Aegon, but Visenya was missing (I just made up the name for the third possible child considering he was naming them after the three conquerors lmao). He needed Lyanna to have that third child, and he knew how to get her to get what he wanted.
Perhaps we'll find out this isn't true. Perhaps Rhaegar really was head over heels for Lyanna, but I honestly really really doubt it.
5. There is no certainty on who the Prince that was Promised is
No matter what the show wants us to see, we still don't know who it is. It could be Daenerys, it could be Jon, it could even be Stannis and we're not gonna know it until Martin reveals it.
I honestly think Daenerys is Azor Ahai, but I'm still curious to see why we would need to revive Jon then. And considering Stannis' sword possibly being Azor Ahai's sword, is it a fake one made by Melisandre to get what she wanted from him, or does he actually possess the original sword?
Well, these are the first theories and opinions I could think of right now, I might post more in the future. Again, please don't slander me in the comments, these are just my personal opinions and I respect all others.
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rowanisawriter · 2 days
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writer q&a
thanks for the tag @luvwich i love talking about myself lmao
tagging… @mashamorevvna @yourworsttotebag @swordbisexual no pressure
When did you start writing?
10 or 11 handwriting a three part series in notebooks lol i still remember the plot of my first book which was basically xmen AU. fic writing also started around that time
Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?
not really, my writing and my taste in reading usually align. even poetry which i read a lot of but don’t write, somehow still sneaks into my writing because i like making things read pretty
Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?
idk about fic but for published authors i like sally rooney and her character work, and i also love t. s. eliot’s rhythmic style in poetry, im always trying to emulate them
Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?
i have a toddler to the answer so this for now is my phone on the couch or in my bed in the middle of the night lmao. i’ve learned how to write under weird circumstances, but hopefully once she gives back some of the mental capacity she takes from me daily then i’ll sit at a table or something
What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?
can’t do it easily lol it comes to me in visions, usually after i read something or see a piece of art but if it’s not there it’s not there
Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?
i write a lot about religion… no that’s not surprising…. i also write a lot about love… that’s not surprising either lol
What is your reason for writing?
i like stories a lot, and i like being praised, so writing stories and having people read them checks two boxes for me lol
Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?
all comments are precious, but comments where people find something that i didn’t consciously put into a fic those are my favorite comments. i put a lot of myself into everything i write, sometimes i write things i don’t think about, when someone points it out it feels very personal (good)
How do you want to be thought about by your readers?
hope i don’t come across as insane, i want to be aloof and interesting but then people find me on tumblr and learn the truth
What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?
hopefully emotion, i focus a lot on that instead of setting or plot most of the time so if i get emotion right then that’s good, as long as i can make someone feel something then they’re compelled to continue reading (conversely when i am reading something and don’t feel any emotional connection to the thing then i put it down)
How do you feel about your own writing?
i like it very much, it’s the exact thing i want to read, and it was a very long road getting here to my true voice and style. i reread my own work constantly i really like it
When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?
i can only write for myself, the motivation to write is only there if it’s something i want to write, even challenges and prompts i struggle with because there is some aspect of “this isn’t truly my idea” that i struggle with. i’ve written things that just aren’t popular (weird ship, quiet fandom, etc) but i wrote it anyway because i wanted to. obvs i want to be read otherwise i wouldn’t post online but i have a good audience now so usually no matter what i write it does get read anyway, so may as well just write what i want lol
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tojiscrack · 2 days
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Guess who found your fic on ao3 at 11pm, not noticing the 108k words on the bottom and got so hooked even by the half quarter of the first chapter that resulted in her staying awake until 10 am, reading all 108k words in one sitting. Yes me. Me, who got so hooked she read it all in one sitting. Me, who’s now so emotionally attached to this fic that she’s anxious about your comments under the chapters, stating that THE MAIN PLOT hasn’t even STARTED YET. Me, who knows DAMN WELL the little caterpillars and butterflies and the moths story Megumi and y/n read out is for sure foreshadowing. Me, who’s noticed several butterfly symbolism used over the course of the story. Me, who screamed into her pillow when it was stated that y/n’a dress resembled a butterfly. Me, who’s seen your comment replying to someone, stating that there MIGHT be some kind of drifting apart. Me, who’s well ware of the Heavy Angst tag on the fic. Me, who knows that an author who’s this good at delivering humor and fluff is gonna DESTROY me when the angst is gonna be written. Me, who half regrets now that she’s discovered the story because she’s scared of all that’s about to come.
You seriously have a way with words, dialogue, symbolism, humor, the bond between every character. It’s not so simple to put more than 5 characters in a setting and deal with them all while trying to make it as natural as possible but you SOMEHOW do it SO WELL. I’m just. God. All the thoughts I have on this fic would maybe even rival the 108k words you’ve written up until now but I don’t have the capacity to put them into words as well as you do.
just know that this fic impacted me so much, so badly, years from now on after it's finished, I'll still think about it and re-read it.
so excited (and scared as hell ngl) to see where you'll be going with this story. I may havw joined late but I am sticking around till the end.
love you, great work <3
liar, liar masterlist here:
yayyy, another ao3 reader 😫 welcome to the tumblr crew, i’m so glad you’re hereeee ❤️‍🩹
i had to go back and check whether it really is 108k words and i found myself shocked bc damn, i really wrote that much? 😭 if i put half the effort i put into this story into my essays instead, maybe i’d be a better student but we live and we learn ig 😬
“emotionally attached” to the fic is mind blowing to me 🥹 i didn’t know it’d have this big of an impact on someone but i can’t say i’m displeased. that’s one of the nicest things i’ve heard on here (among other things ofc). ugh, you’re so nice for sending a message on that 🩷
and yes, you are absolutely right. the main plot does not start until next chapter (or more accurately — in terms of drama — somewhere down the line AFTER that) 👀 idk which comment i said that on but i trust ur judgement ‘cause i remember mentioning that somewhere 😭 DON’T BE SCARED, IT’LL BE FUN (and thrilling and scary) BUT STILL 😊
the butterfly thing you mentioned is interesting, actually 🫢 maybe i just really like butterflies (even tho they scare the ever living shit out of me and i nearly killed a few in the london zoo YEARS ago as a child cuz i was fidgeting since they just let them roam free in that greenhouse thingy and i was scared for my life and dying of heat with the humidity?).
YOU MUST HAVE BEEN STALKING MY PAGE BC I DO REMEMBER SAYING SMTH ALONF THOSE LINES I JUST CAN’T REMEMBER WHERE 😭 but i invite you to continue doing so bc i like watching my lovely little liars squirm and then send in their predictions and fear 😋 and this long, juicy message has me giggling to myself and REELING 🤭
yeah, but we’re not holding back on the heavy angst tag… er… buckle up? it’s gonna go downhill from here on out 😟
“you seriously have a way with words” — stop.
“it’s not so simple to put more than 5 characters in a setting and deal with them all while trying to make it as natural as possible but you somehow do it so well” — DOUBLE, TRIPLE, QUADRUPLE, INFINITY STOP OR I’LL CRY 🥹 no one has ever said that about my writing, and in fact, i hadn’t even noticed that myself 😭 i think i’m gonna levitate in glee ✨ to know it flows well enough for it to be commented on (out of ur own free will and not me pressing a gun to ur forehead), it’s just UGHHH so nice and sweet and i’m so glad you’ve joined the liar, liar community 😫 warmest welcome ml <3
gosh you’ve put this story on such a high pedestal, i’m almost scared i won’t be able to meet ur standards, even with everything planned beforehand 😟 but i’m willing to try. if you’re here for the super long ride (my updates are sporadic and will continue to be a such as the time goes on).
it was definitely not a LATE arrival per se — the liar, liar family is still pretty small. i’ve only got about 321 followers, so definitely not as much as the bigger jjk writers on here, and half of those are split between my megumi fic readers and levi fic readers. i now consider you an og just bc this analysis was so in depth and interesting, i found myself smiling so hard my cheeks hurt 🙂‍↔️
but i love you SO much for this. i’d love to see more comments and messages from you. don’t be afraid to spam me if you must (in fact, i encourage it!!!) 😁 i get so giddy and excited and motivated when ppl send me their predictions. it’s one of the greatest things about writing (and the best part imo).
have a lovely day! and i can’t wait for you to see the next chapter and what i have in store for you <3
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carlos-in-glasses · 3 days
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞
Thank you Michelle and @bonheur-cafe for asking! ❤️
Rhythms - I'm only two chapters into posting but the whole thing is written and I do think (alongside Where All This Love Comes From), it contains some of my best writing. It's the story about how Carlos came to write his wedding vows to TK, how he used to write poetry as a closeted teen and the adventures that accidentally ensued, and how he might pursue poetry again with TK's belief in him...
Where All This Love Comes From - The most ambitious I've been with a fic. Lots of flashbacks from TK and Carlos' relationship and pre-canon, as well as 'current day' scenes to handle. I wanted to combine exploring TK's addiction with Carlos' own trauma, while staying as close to canon as possible, and it all came together as I hoped.
Fire Island - TK and Carlos go to Fire Island, where they are befriended by an older gay couple who tell them about life at the height of the AIDS crisis in 1980s NYC. I'll never forget reading this out loud to my boyfriend and both of us crying, and the feedback in which people shared their own memories of how AIDS touched their lives. It's my most meaningful fic on a whole other level. TK and Carlos do not die or get sick in this fic - I know some people were worried about that because I got anons about it, but to reassure, it does not happen.
When Soulmates Swim - An  alternative first meeting AU. TK and Carlos' relationship blooms in many pools as they both heal from workplace injuries. It's smutty, fluffy, angsty and silly. It was such a fun one to write and I desperately want to write a sequel. I have an idea! I just need the time!
Suddenly, In the Silence - This fic was a challenge because I needed to write a satisfying conclusion but also ambiguity, designed so readers decide if they think something happens or not. Based on comments, I think I pulled it off! Also, this was the first fic I wrote after finishing Where All This Love Comes From. I was panicking that I'd never write again because I was spent. So, very grateful to this fic for arriving in my brain when it did! Which was really thanks to a conversation with @thisbuildinghasfeelings - in turn showing how helpful and inspiring this community can be.
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yuwuta · 23 days
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i get critiquing plot holes and power differences/disadvantages and systemic things like sexism and sexualization/fetishization and racism in manga and stories in general, and i also understand loving your favorite character and wanting a certain outcome for them, but it's always a little bonkers to me that people geniuenly believe they could have come up with better endings or outcomes than the authors themselves... like i know people get attached to their favs and everything but manga and story telling is an artform and it's art that's created by a real life person who chooses to share their story with you there is no "better" ending that you could have come up with because you couldn't have come up with those characters in the first place! sure you think you could worm them around in better scenarios but even that is wishful thinking because you couldn't have, wouldn't have, and didn't come up with the world and scenes around them to navigate them in canon in the first place! idk i get wishful thinking and hopes and cracking jokes and fix-it fics and ships all that but sometimes i feel like people need to be humble and take a step back lol.... it's not your story and there's nothing for you to change, much less publicly scream about how the author fucked up just bc your favorite character didnt end up how you wanted them to.... and if u feel that strongly just like... do it in your own little online or irl community lol there's no need to scream on the internet every 3 months about how u think the mangaka who gave u the character u love so much is a piss poor artist
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bicheetopuff · 29 days
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I’m on chapter 11 of From the Sidelines…
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l-in-the-light · 9 days
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(Mis)adventures of Law with the Strawhats [fanfiction snippet, part 1]
"Torao!!" he cries out way too loudly. "Let's play that game again!!"
Law turns towards him, but doesn't answer immediately and it's not even because his mouth is full at the moment, he doesn't care about that.
"Again…?" he finally voices out, looking at no one in particular.
"What game?" asks Chopper. Usopp also curiously looks between Law and Luffy.
"We played that funny thing yesterday when you zoom up and down and throw a stone with dots on it!" Luffy exclaims.
"Is that why you missed breakfast today?" Usopp asks and Luffy nods fervently.
"I wish I didn't. Sanji, can you make me a breakfast now??"
"Breakfast after lunch, huh?" Sanji muses from behind the counter. "Sure"
"Thanks, you're the best!!"
Law frowns. "Just play it by yourself this time" he grumbles between bites.
"No way! You said it can't be played alone! Also I already forgot the rules…"
"There's no way you already forgot them!" Law protests, takes a look at Luffy, then his eyes dart to completely opposite direction. "Fine, but gather more people. It's boring with just two. Get four more"
"I didn't think it was boring with just the two of us" Luffy beams at him, takes bigger bite and shouts "So who wants to play with us??"
"You didn't exactly tell us what type of game it is" Usopp frowns, while Chopper is already shouting back "Me, I want!!"
"It's just a regular snake and ladders board game" Law answers despite the question not being directed at him.
"It's yours?" Robin asks. "Didn't take you for the type to keep board games around"
"My crew often dragged me to play with them"
"But isn't Snake and Ladders a game for kids?" Franky butts in. "It takes me back… Tom bought it for us once, but Iceburg was a party pooper and said he's not a kid anymore and in the end I had to teach Yokozuna to play with me instead"
Law has no idea who all those people he mentioned were, so he just ignores that part.
"It is. It's not like he would be able to understand any more complicated game" he says while gesturing towards Luffy, who just laughs in answer and says with his mouth still full: "That's right. Can't wait to play!"
"You still miss three more people" Law reminds him.
"Oh, right. Guys, who wants to play? It's gonna be fun!!"
"I guess I could make you the honour of God Usopp joining in, just so you have enough people. Know my mercy!" says Usopp while his nose extends all the way up to the ceilling.
"ME!" repeated Chopper.
"I already counted you in" says Law which made Chopper exclaim some loud, possibly not malignant noises.
"I would love to try!" Yamato exclaimes after swallowing a whole plate of food at once.
"Great! Then we have everyone!"
"You're one person short" points out Law and smirks when Luffy grumbles at that.
"Come on guys, Robin, join us! Nami? Zoro??"
"I want to relax reading a book" Robin replies, smiling.
"I have plans already. I need to catch up on my map drawing" Nami exclaims as she gets up from the table, already having finished her meal.
"I'm gonna train" answers Zoro shortly.
Luffy frowns, looking around the table again. "Franky? Brook? Sanji? Jimbei?"
"I'm too old for that" Jimbei answers. "I will leave you youngsters to that"
"Same here" Franky adds.
"I will be busy making desserts for the ladies" Sanji chimes in.
Brook looks around the Sunny's kitchen back and forth, till finally answering as well. "I will gladly join"
"GREAT! Now we have everyone, you can't say no anymore!!" Luffy turns to Law and extends his hands high up, like in a victory pose. Law eyes dart to him for a second, but he doesn't say anything, just gets up and walks towards the door.
"Torao?" Luffy asks after him.
"Gonna go fetch the game"
-----------------------
"So, how do we play it exactly?" Usopp asks. "Not that I don't know already, mind you, I'm just asking because there's no way Luffy remembers the rules!"
"It's true, I don't" Luffy says.
"We all start from this place" says Law, pointing his finger to the starting position on the board. "We take turns rolling the die till we reach the goal, which is here" his finger moves all the way up on the board. "Whenever you land on a field with a ladder, you go up, till you reach the top of it. When you land on snake, you slide down instead. That's all there is to it"
"What's a die?" asked Chopper. Law looks at him, then looks at all of them looking back at him, he pauses and closes his eyes for a moment, and then takes a square-like object in his fingers.
"This is a die. You roll it like that" he says and flips it in his fingers and lets it fall to the board, the die making a short wooden noise when it meets the surface. Everyone stares at it before the object finally stops, showing five dots on top.
"So that's the legendary die… Of course I already knew that. I had a dozen, no, two dozens of them back in the village. It's the first time I see one made out of wood" Usopp blabbles.
"So what do we do? Do we just add all the dots on each side of it?" asks Chopper, inspecting the square and poking it with his hoof. "It's kinda hard to see all the sides though"
"No, wait, Chopper, that wouldn't make any sense" said Usopp, putting on his serious face and poking his own nose. "It wouldn't matter then to roll the die, because the sides never change, so the result would be always the same"
"Oh" Chopper comments.
"I think I get it. It must be the result on the top that counts. So, five dots!" Usopp concludes his deduction.
"Ooooh, you're so smart, Usopp!!" Chopper cries out.
"Of course" Usopp exclaims, smashing his hand to his chest. "After all I played many games before and flipped dozen of dies"
"Dice" Law corrects him.
"Right, this one is actually special, because it's wooden and called a dice. I knew that" Usopp says, raising his voice just a bit. He looks at Law, moves his eyes from left to right, and finally makes some random gesture of flipping his fingers. Law turns to Luffy instead. "Choose the order"
"Order?"
"Of who goes first, second, and so on, all the way to the last person for the round"
"OH. Easy, I'm going first, because I'm gonna be the King of the Pirates and I'm the captain!"
"Unfair!" Usopp protests immediately. "Let's decide by luck, we can draw lots"
Luffy makes a face, but before he can say anything, Yamato already extends scraps of paper in their direction. "Let's do it! That's how you do it, right??" he asks.
"When did you manage to get that?" Luffy exclaims. "You're so fast!"
Yamato snickers at him, quickly scribbles something on the papers, and holds the pieces in her fist, so that whatever is written can't be seen, only the tops of paper. "Choose one!"
Everyone but Law extends their hands to draw one. Yamato looks at him expectantly.
"You draw first. Whatever will be left is mine" he explains.
"I can?? Really??" Yamato chirps, eyes sparkling. "Thanks!!" pulls one lot out. "Oh, I have number 2" and looks apologetically at Law. "Yours is six" and shows him his number. "I can trade with you if you want!"
"I can trade with you too, Torao!! Though I think I got the worst number…"
"It's fine, I don't really care"
"You're so kind!" Yamato cries out over everyone shouting their own numbers over each other.
Law just quickly proceeds to put down pawns on the starting point.
"So, who is the first?" he asks no one in particular.
"God Usopp!" says the man, flashing his teeth and showing off his scrap of paper with number 1 on it.
"Good. You will be yellow then"
"Wait, I don't get to decide?!"
"Nope"
"Why?! Who gave you the right?! This is important, the most important decision to make, the colors will change everything about the gameplay!"
"I'm the last one to go, the rules say I get to decide the pawns for everyone"
Usopp looks at him and narrows his eyes. Finally he says, while pointing his finger at him. "I will still sue you if I lose because of that"
"I will sue you too!!" Luffy exclaims, pointing his finger at Law as well.
"You? What for?"
"I don't know!" Luffy frowns. "Why should I sue Torao?"
"I dunno-" starts Usopp.
"For not trading with you" Brook says instead, trying to be helpful.
"Thanks Brook! I will sue Torao for not trading lots with me!"
"Do you even know what that word means?" Usopp asks, just in case.
"Nope! Shishishi!"
"I also don't know!" Chopper says, raising his hoof high in the air.
"Then you won't know" Law butts in which earns him another loud cry from Chopper.
"It means to force a person that has treated you unfairly or hurt you in some way to give you something or to do something for you to make up for it" Brook explains, which earns him a sideway look from Law.
"Eh, then I don't want to sue Torao" Luffy says. "It doesn't sound fun. Forcing people isn't fun" and Chopper shouts "I also don't want to!", just a heartbeat too late to be in unison with Luffy.
"Said someone who forced me to play" Law counters, leaving Luffy speechless for once and immediately looking away.
"It's all Usopp's fault anyway!" the captain finally says, showing a tongue in sniper's direction.
"How is it my fault?! Keep me out of it! I know nothing of it!!"
"Are we playing guys??" Yamato butts in, quickly moving his arms up and down and looking from the board to everyone.
"YES" Luffy, Usopp and Law answer a bit too loudly in unison, and Chopper just a moment too late, while Brook just laughs.
tbc.
(I guess? Should I?)
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muirmarie · 7 months
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[tw: suicidal thoughts, terminal illness, mentions of vomiting]
somehow 3400 words of accidental story???? may edit/rewrite a little and throw up on ao3 idk, but it stands as-is. vaguely mcspirk.
________
my father was a betting man
________
for the world is hollow and i have touched the sky where starfleet sends a cmo replacement before they go to yonada, and mccoy - mccoy goes back home. where else is he going to go? kirk and spock are throwing him away, aren't they - he'd asked jim to let him stay, but instead he'd - well. it doesn't matter.
he goes home. he goes home to joanna. she's sixteen years old. younger than he was when his father -
he goes home to joanna, and he counts out his months, and he makes a plan for how he's going to put the period on his life, because he's not going to put her through what he went through. he's not going to let her watch him die. he's not going to beg her -
well, it doesn't matter, does it.
he looks in the mirror in the mornings, and he sees his father's face, and he looks at her blue eyes and he wonders if he was ever that young. wonders -
he doesn't reply to any messages from kirk and spock, but he keeps in sporadic contact with uhura and scotty. he doesn't ask them not to pass anything along - he won't do that to them - so he just doesn't tell them anything true. never asks them anything real.
it's just, he thinks. he killed his father, after all. it's just and it's fitting that he goes out like this. but he won't let joanna -
she wants to move in with him and take care of him, and he won't let her. he won't let jocelyn be the bad guy, either, even though she'd let him, he knows. she'd let him tell joanna that jocelyn wouldn't let her. they haven't loved each other in years, but she was there when his dad -
jocelyn would let him, if he asked. he doesn't ask. it's his fault.
he won't let joanna take him to the doctor, won't let her pick up his medications, won't let her stay over in case she hears him throwing up at 3am again, won't let her help with all the sundries that come up when you're slowly wasting away.
he knows she wants to help, knows what he's doing isn't fair, either, but what is fairness when it comes to families? what is fairness when it comes to the memories and the regrets and the forked paths you can never, ever backtrack to.
why did you even come home, she asks, if you weren't going to let me help? she's so angry. she reminds him so much of himself.
what can he tell her? the truth, that he had nowhere else to go? the truth, that he is selfish and he couldn't bear never seeing her again? the truth, that it turns out that he really is his father's son?
that she really is her father's daughter?
he has nightmares, some nights, imagining that this is the great curse on the mccoy family tree. imagining her in thirty years right back here, in this moment, right where he is. he knows how many terminal illnesses there are in this universe. any one of them could have her name on it.
i'll be most effective on the job in the time left, if you'll keep this to yourself
the pain...stop the pain...son...release me...
jocelyn chooses to help more than he's comfortable with, but then she's never listened to him when he said he could handle something on his own. that was never their problem, was it. it's 3am and he's throwing up again and he tries to remember what their problems were, tries to remember why she threw him out, why spock and jim threw him out, why everyone he's ever loved has -
it doesn't matter.
it doesn't matter, does it. how many months does he have left? how many people does he have left that can throw him away? if they're not already gone, at least he will be, soon.
he's written his letters and he's arranged his affairs. he won't let it get as bad it he knows it will get. he won't -
he will not ever let anyone hear him -
he wonders, some nights, what it cost his dad to ask him. thinks about what it had cost leonard himself to ask chapel to stay silent, what it had cost him to ask kirk to let him stay, what it had cost -
he's blocked all avenues of communication from kirk and spock, by now. hasn't answered scotty or uhura for weeks. he'd tried to block chapel, but she -
she shows up on his doorstep six months after he leaves the enterprise. tells him she's taking a leave of absence to care for a family member. tells him, with that steady smile and cautious eyes that she's been in contact with jocelyn. shows him the documentation that she's listed as his next of kin.
jocelyn must have forged that, he thinks. wants to laugh. wants to punch a goddamn wall.
go back to the ship, he tells her, you're gonna fuck up your career taking a leave like this.
i only joined the enterprise to find roger, she says. c'mon, leonard. love always comes first. we only have so much time.
he can see it in her eyes, that she knows why he doesn't want her there. not after his father - he's never told her that, and he knows jocelyn never would. but she's always called him her worst patient. always known he could never let himself be vulnerable. used to chide him about it. used to -
you're not gonna kick me out into the cold, are you? she asks.
you really think i'm gonna let you boss me around my last few months on earth?
3am that night, she runs a cool washcloth across the back of his neck, brings him a glass of water so he can rinse out his mouth, says nothing at the angry, helpless tears in his eyes.
it takes her a week to ask him. she has more patience than he gave her credit for.
you gonna talk to them?
there's only one them for him, isn't there.
there isn't anything left to say, he says. it's the truth, isn't it?
you're really going to keep pushing them away?
they did that on their own, he says. wishes he meant it. wishes he -
let me stay, he thinks. release me, he thinks. don't tell anyone, he thinks. let me help you, he thinks. you've got to hold on, he thinks. let me -
he knows his father loved him. he loved his father, too. loved him so much that he would have given anything -
did. did give everything. gave his father up. gave his father up, and then had to live with it. has been living with it all these years.
he's tired of asking people for things that they can't give him. tired of not asking people for things they want to give him.
tired. just tired. been tired all his life, hasn't he. steeped in it.
looks at joanna's blue eyes, and sees the exhaustion in her. sees his own eyes, doesn't he. sees his own eyes, looking at his father. begging him.
i've done everything i can do. you've got to hang on.
hold on, he thinks. because he begged him, too. begged his father, too. he forgets that part of the story, sometimes, but it's been hard to forget, lately. thinks about joanna kneeling by his body, begging him. begging him to hold on.
why had he asked his father to hold on when he was so desperate to let go? why had he tried to make him stay when he was hurting so badly? was he that scared of being alone?
lonely, he thinks. he's lived a lonely life, hasn't he.
was that the last time he begged someone to stay?
he hadn't begged jocelyn. didn't even ask her to stay, did he. just listened to her, and nodded, and threw his shit together, and kissed joanna on the head, and took off to a hotel.
to a hotel. why hadn't he gone to a friend's? why hadn't he gone to a friend, and sat down, and poured out everything that was going on? why hadn't he asked for help? why hadn't he asked jocelyn for help before things got as bad as they did? maybe there wasn't anything still left to save, but it took them years to be friends again, didn't it. couldn't he at least have left as friends, instead of making them claw their way back to it?
he asks her, one day. she's taking him to the doctor. even chapel isn't able to sway her when jocelyn decides on something, and she's decided she wants to be here for him. so he asks her.
that was one of our problems, she says. says it easy, now, even though her mouth pinches, like it still hurts a little. you never needed me, leonard. never wanted to need me. i always felt like i had to bulldoze you if i wanted to help you, which eventually starts to feel a little counterproductive. and things haven't really changed, have they? you're just too tired to fight me anymore.
he is, he thinks. he is tired.
he is so tired of letting go of things. of being let go of. of running away. of being run from.
a lonely life, he thinks.
thinks, hold on, dad. please don't leave me. please keep fighting. i need you to keep fighting. please don't leave me.
wonders, now, with the benefit of hindsight, what his dad must have thought when he heard him begging. did he think leonard selfish?
is joanna selfish, he thinks. is chapel? is jocelyn?
it's just humans, isn't it. just humans trying to hold on a little longer. don't leave me. don't make me leave.
and then, finally, let me go.
he hasn't told chapel that he's made plans. he should. he can't and he won't. he doesn't need her to -
he doesn't want her to ask him not to do it. he doesn't want her to ask him to stay. to fight. to linger.
nine months since he left the enterprise. he can't focus on the studies that chapel still reads religiously. still looking for answers. he remembers that. he remembers how that feels. he remembers the hope and the hopelessness tangling together.
we have time, joanna says every time they talk. we will have time.
hold on, he thinks. keep fighting, he thinks.
spock and kirk have resorted to sending physical letters and packages.
let me go, he thinks. they pile up in his study, unopened. let me go, let me go, let me -
jocelyn and joanna come over for dinner a few times a week, chapel and jocelyn talking easily together, joanna's eyes too often focused on the way leonard moves the food around on his plate but barely eat. he barely keeps anything down these days. he watches those blue eyes watch him watch her, and he -
are you going to open those letters? jocelyn asks him, and he wants to laugh. wants to cry.
it doesn't matter, he says.
she takes his face in her hands, her eyes serious, her voice steady. it's all that matters, leonard.
she loved him, once. loves him all over again now, he thinks. it's a gift, isn't it, to be loved.
it's a curse, as well.
you're his doctor -
i'm his son!
3am, and there's nothing inside of him to throw up, nothing inside him left to claw out, nothing but his still beating heart, his paper-thin lungs, the last few secrets he's swallowed and never spat out.
he sits down amid the letters and the packages, but can't bring himself to open them. what could it matter, he thinks, if they care? he knows they care. what would it matter, he thinks, if they love him? he knows they love him as best as they're able. what does it matter if they did what they thought was the right thing to do?
he's never going to see them again.
he's never going to see them again, is he. he's never -
it's too much to cry through, so he doesn't cry. just sits there, amid the letters and the packages, the last desperate resort they had to try to contact him. to try to make him listen.
they'd made him leave, so he'd left, hadn't he? hadn't he done what they wanted?
if you'll keep this to yourself -
he hadn't really asked, had he. hadn't been able to bring himself to ask. not the real question. not what he'd really meant.
kirk had given him his answer anyway, hadn't he. hadn't even given it a day before asking for a replacement. that's how easy he was to replace, wasn't he. and they'd found one, and they'd brought them aboard, and mccoy had walked away without looking back.
kirk had wanted to talk, then, too, but what was there left to say? he could count on one hand the number of times he'd really asked kirk for something. he could -
i'll call you, kirk had called after him, and mccoy hadn't looked back. hadn't answer any of his calls. had blocked him. and now, these letters and packages piled around him.
spock had barely said anything at all. mccoy had already been so turned inside out that he'd thought little of it. if kirk didn't want him, of course spock wouldn't want him, either.
besides, if mccoy had a year left, what the logic in spock trying to remain in contact with him? what was a year worth? what was a friend worth? what was mccoy -
it doesn't matter, he thinks. tries to think. tries to will himself to believe. it doesn't matter, because if he lets it matter -
he falls asleep out there, that night. chapel chides him, but she can't do much more than that. he's deteriorating rapidly, now.
he should call them, he thinks for the first time. thinks he doesn't want them to see him like this. remember him like this.
his plans are made. his letters are written. the hypo -
he should call them, he thinks. can't bear to do so.
thinks of his father, begging, thinks of him begging his father.
thinks of kirk's face before mccoy had turned away. the careful blankness of spock's when he'd started to raise his fingers in the vulcan salute, and then bitten back his traditional goodbye. live long and prosper, mccoy snorts. what a goddamn joke.
he should call them, he decides. he'll keep it brief. just long enough that they won't have to haunted by any what-ifs. he can give that to them. he should give that to them. just because he's always been the one who'd loved more than he should doesn't mean they don't love him at all. he knows they do. he knows he's hurt them.
thinks he can swallow down his own hurt one last time, swallow it down long enough to give them the goodbye they need. give them what they need, even if it hurts him to do so.
the pain...stop the pain...son...release me...
he's good at giving people what they need, isn't he. just once -
it doesn't matter. he won't let it matter. not for this. he'll let them go. let them let him go. give them what they need.
he worries over it for one more night, and then he checks his comm. there are too many messages to even glimpse at - it seems like half the enterprise has tried to contact him over the last three days. he worries over that for a moment as well - has something happened? is someone hurt? is someone - well. is someone besides him dying?
he can't take the time to read or watch them now, though. his brain gets too foggy too quickly these days, and he has to use his time to his best advantage.
he unblocks spock and jim.
hesitates over both of their photos for a moment, deciding. not that it matters - they're probably together.
jim will be angrier, but he'll be more hurt if he calls spock first. his head is pounding. his mouth is dry. it will have to be a short call. at least he has that - he can turn it off whenever he wants, escape them any time he wants. there's a universe between them.
they put a universe between them.
he calls jim. waits. almost laughs at the idea that all this build-up, he might not answer. probably can't answer. probably too busy saving the universe.
what was he thinking? that he was going to just sit and wait around for him? kirk didn't even want him there. he didn't - of course he wouldn't -
he's being foolish. he'll try back later. he has time. he still has a little left, doesn't he. a few more weeks. maybe a few months if he's lucky.
he's never been that lucky, has he. the great mccoy curse.
he reaches for his comm, decides not to leave a message, decides -
bones? jim says. his eyes look wild. he looks so young. he looks so old, somehow, too.
hi, jim, mccoy says. his voice sounds steady. his hands are steady.
did they finally get through to you? jim asks. he's speaking so fast it's almost hard to parse the words, or maybe that's just mccoy's tired brain.
what?
the crew, did they finally get through to you? they've been trying non-stop -
i don't know what you're talking about, jim.
that's the house, a voice suspiciously like spock's says. mccoy smiles a little. he knew they'd be together. they've always been at their best together, haven't they. never needed -
just hold on, bones, jim says, and mccoy rolls his eyes. of course. death bed goodbyes, and of course he's being asked to hold. he shouldn't have called. he shouldn't -
why don't you just gimme a call when you're free, mccoy says, trying to keep his voice light. trying so hard it feels like he's choking on the words. choking on the love. choking, choking, choking.
bones -
i should go, mccoy says. got a busy day myself. tell spock i said hi.
tell himself, you goddamn idiot, kirk says.
there's a knock at the door, and mccoy wants to get off of this call, wants to lock himself away, can't beginto deal with whoever is visiting, can't bear to see joanna like this, can't -
i have to go, jim, mccoy says.
there's a louder banging on the door, and mccoy drags a hand across his forehead.
you aren't going anywhere, you sonuvabitch, kirk says
and then someone starts trying to break the goddamn door down, and mccoy bolts to his feet. sways.
sit down, bones, kirk says, his face too close to the screen, his eyes wide and worried, sit down before you fall down and kill yourself
it doesn't matter, mccoy says, barely realizing he's saying it out loud until he hears kirk's sharp inhale
there are footsteps in the hallway
maybe someone's coming to kill him. it makes as much sense as anything else, and he's so tired, isn't he.
keep fighting.
he's just so tired.
hold on.
he slumps back onto the couch. closes his eyes.
i have to go, he says. says it to jim, to spock, to the footsteps coming closer and closer. you have to let me go.
someone sits down next to him. puts their hand on his thigh.
you're not going anywhere, jim says.
and then mccoy frowns, a little. blinks his eyes open.
that voice didn't sound like it was coming from a communicator. that sounded like -
jim is sitting next to him, and spock is moving rapidly around to the other side of the couch. sitting down next to him as well.
what - he says, disoriented. wide-eyed.
afraid.
we have found a cure, doctor, spock says, reaching out and taking mccoy's wrist gently in his hand.
you aren't going anywhere, jim says. i'm not gonna let you.
what are you doing here? mccoy says.
what the hell do you think? jim says, his hand tightening on mccoy's thigh.
leonard, spock says. we are bringing you home.
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joyfuladorable · 1 year
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< Prev Doodles | First Set of Doodles
Surprise, @redstringraven!! Guess who watched a playthrough of Horizon Forbidden West AND the DLC Burning Shores and Then proceeded to reread Pretend that I Never Left and draw Four More DOODLE PAGES!!!! To all the 2k3 Mikey fans out there, this is the fic for you!
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gio-cosmo · 1 month
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Yk I wasn’t originally planning to talk abt my ao3 account on here but I don’t really gaf anymore. Embarrassment is a concept. Embrace joy and whimsy.
..anyways! If you want to read some of my works my ao3 account is bittersweet_serendipity ^_^ I love to write and am always aiming to improve. I state this a lot in authors notes, but if you ever spot any major weak points or mistakes in my writing, feel free to point them out to me! Constructive criticism helps a ton.
Do be aware that my older works (aka the first 2 I published) are literally filled to the brim w grammar mistakes like it’s actually baffling 😭 we should all collectively ignore those for the sake of my mental sanity actually! <3 I need to go back and edit them but I keep pushing it off ughh…someday.
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necrotic-nephilim · 2 months
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Sorry if this might be a rude question but why don’t you just make a seperate account for your nsfw fics?
not rude, it's a valid question! tbh it's a combination of a couple reasons.
i started posting anonymous dead dove batcest fics long before i had the balls to make a tumblr. at first i was content to just leave them unassociated with each other because i didn't really care about them being tied to me. i made this blog to actually show solidarity to my partner who wanted to make a sideblog for Sandman comic stuff so we could cheerlead each other and be brave together, since i've wanted to make a batcest sideblog but i've been nervous about actually having to get it going. (mal ik you're reading this go be brave and actually make your blog so i can cheerlead you damnit-) only did it dawn on me then that i should probably mention the fics i've written on the blog after like, three of them were posted anonymously. and it would've annoyed me to have half of them anonymous and half of them not, because notifications for them would've gone in different places. i could go back and take my fics off anon if i wanted to, but i can't switch the account they're on without taking them down entirely and that'd fuck over people who have them bookmarked already.
which, ties into my second reason, if i made an entire second ao3 account it'd be harder for me to see notifications, reply to stuff, and post things for both accounts because i'd have to constantly switch. and honestly i'd be terrified of accidentally posting on the wrong one on a brain fog day. posting fics is always the most tedious part of writing them for me lol. it's easier for me to stay logged into one account and have all of my stuff in one place for me and just use the anonymous collection when i feel like it. if ao3 pseuds worked like tumblr blogs, where you can't see all my side blogs but i can, i would've used pseuds, but since you can see all pseuds on an ao3, i felt it was a moot point.
and the last reason is i just feel more comfortable being anonymous on ao3 because of the rise in anti culture. on tumblr it's very easy for me to just filter that out and find the people i want to follow and block the people i don't. i don't mind getting hate, on tumblr or on ao3. but i think, for whatever reason you want to blame it on, there's been a massive boom of antis on ao3 who are very entitled about how they read on ao3. i tag extensively, but i just feel safer from getting targeted attacks if everything i write on ao3 isn't attached to one profile. if people like a fic i wrote, want to find more i always link my tumblr in the notes, but if an anti wants to get huffy with me, they can't easily track down my other things. they definitely could if they wanted to, but being anonymous on ao3 just makes me feel more secluded, in a weird way. it's like saying "if you want you can come find me but on here i'm just a weird faceless guy throwing stuff in the void". i've used ao3's anon feature a lot, actually, i used to be a hydra trash party dumpster kid back when that was in it's prime.
i also used to be vaguely popular on a different tumblr blog and my main ao3 and while i think it'd definitely be cool if i got a decent chunk of followers on this blog too, i don't really miss having fanfiction do so well i got targetted hate on all of my fics from the same people, i had my fics stolen, etc. it was really exhausting for me. i have 120+ works on ao3, not counting what's anonymous, and that level of exposure tires me, even when i use my main ao3 to post things that aren't trashy. it's just a weird feeling knowing so many people are subscribed to you on ao3 and what if you post something they won't like because you jumped fandoms again, or you're posting something niche, or you don't think it fills enough fandom tropes to be well-liked. i used to obsessively think like that, and it made me not write the things i wanted to because i cared about numbers. and i don't want to slide back into that hole. writing on anonymous is mostly to remind myself i wrote this for me, and if other people like it, they can come find me, but i don't have to perform like that anymore. if i get a really weird fucked up idea, i can write the really weird fucked up idea. at the end of the day, just makes me more comfortable! but i get it's a super confusing set up from an outsider perspective so, i really don't mind the question, thank you for asking!!
#necrotic festerings#batcest#pro ship#necrotic answerings#tbh asking the question gave me the chance to explain it so ty!#might link this in my about me or my masterlist for ease of access#i don't want to like. overstate how big i was on an old blog bc i was not like. a celebrity by *any* means.#but i had a ship-specific blog and i was certainly a “big name fan” for that specific rarepair#and it like. took over my life when i was a teen#i look back on it fondly now but i really regret that i would obsess so heavily over numbers and what made a fic do well#my favorite fics to write were htp back then bc for htp culture writing on anon was normal since that was during the dreamwidth days#and i just. liked that veil of anonymity and i think i defaulted to that when i decided to finally start posting batcest stuff#(all of this makes me sound so old i'm only 22 i just started fandom really fucking young which i don't recommend)#and when i say one fic got big. i mean it. i have found that fic on instagram and pinterest and tiktok and even. facebook.#do you know what it's like when your fic gets reuploaded to facebook without your permission and you see what boomers think of it.#that was so mortifying.#funnily enough the boomers were actually really nice i was just shocked to find it there scrolling one day.#it was instagram that was super mean to me and traumatized my ass. man ppl dug into me for the tinest things. do not miss that.#anyway the point is#i've tasted vitality and niche fandom status(tm) and i hated both. and i just cannot do that to myself again#ergo#anon on ao3 and a blog to post my thoughts when i have them.#it's a nice system for me#i have some stuff on my main ao3 that toes the line of like. dark dead dove trash.#and i had antis get mad at me bc their fave fluffy fic was written by. gasp. a proshipper.#and yeah that soured me to existence on ao3.#getting into the rise of anti culture is a whole other discussion that'd have me going on for hours but i will shut up now.#wow this got long. i like to fucking talk don't i.
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pepperpixel · 2 years
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Some art of Tori from @misfitmccoward ‘s Naruto fic Plasticity! Because!! It’s such a good fucking fic…! I had to do fanart for it!! honestly after I first read it I was so fucking hype about it that I was almost like “omg.. I have to do an animatic or something for this. it’s SO GOOD” but. My ability to do animatics has kinda flushed down the drain recently ghghg- But! Still!! I had to at least draw some fanart for it…!
#sorry if I got any details wrong! it’s been a few months since I read the fic!#I mean. I originally drew this right after first reading it. but! I only finished them now so. I might have screwed something up ggh-#but yeah! YEAH! OMG! I FUCKING LOVE THIS FIC!?!?!?!?#ITS SO GOOD!?!?#LIKE. ughghghggh. idk. I read it while still pretty deep in my head about awful life stuff#and just. reading Tori. going thru absolute HELL. was like. cathartic?? like my life. is not even a fraction of the shitshow hers is#but! JUST! STILL! like.. the way she responds to stuff… the delayed reactions. the attempts to just roll w the punches.#the fACT ALL OF HER POSSESSIONS ARE LIKE. MEANINGFUL AND IMPORTANT TO HER.#like that’s! a small detail in the grand scheme of the fic but the fact that sort of thing is commented on at all is like! FUCK.#I GET IT TORI I FUCKING GET IT#AND ITS SO FUN!!! like yeah shit is awful for tori basically ALL THE TIME. but it’s not! a downer to read! its fucking fun as hell to read!#the interactions between all the characters are SO GOOD! and entertaining!! literally EVERYTHING in this fic is a fucking delight!!!#and it’s like! ITS SO GOOD AT GETTING U TO ROOT FOR TORI! like!!!#yea I recognize Tori has slowly crossed all her moral and ethical lines and become. like. pretty fucked up.#but like! seeing that shift. coincide w the slow shift. towards everything in her life becoming NOT completely horrible#it’s just like!!! yes! girl! do what u gotta do! become a monster! get some happiness in ur life!#like it’s like… I love it so much. its such a fucking good fic. it’s sO FUN. I cannot overstate. how fun this fic is.#and Tori’s such an endearing character!! and everyone else is really likeable and well written too!#lIKE. IDK. ITS JUST A GREAT FIC DUDES. ITS GREAT#doodles#plasticity#blood#tori mendoza#also. the song that I was thinking of using for the animatic was gonna be ‘stupid intruders’#cuz I heard it and immediately was just like. OMG. THIS FITS THE VIBES SO WELL. like. it just felt very fitting ghgh#also also! Srry for misspelling ‘obviously’ in the first pic.. spelling is hard ghg-#but!! yeah!! have some art. of Tori! cuz I love her! and I love this fic!!#featuring 2 diff pics of her absolutely covered in blood from the 1st chapter! cuz. that was iconic…#and also I felt I didn’t properly convey the like. drowned rat energy the first time gGHG-#god ok I’m running out of tags now. U SHOULD READ THIS FIC IF U WANT ITS RLLY GOOD. highly recommend! it’s fucking great!
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