#I might watch it again in the next couple of days just to compare with the sub again

[queen-vv]

Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust (2000) is indeed the most lavishly animated and visually beautiful anime movie out there

[jeneveuxrein]

safety net [2/2] (BLACKPINK Rosé)

word count: 25.8K

part 1 (14.8K) | part 2 (11K)

(yeah, lol)

Self-loathing has always been something you’ve done. It was likely the result of never being good enough for your parents even when you delivered on every single expectation they’ve had for you. 

At this current point in your life, you hate yourself for the situation you blindly agreed to. 

It’s been about a month since Rosie disturbed your peace in the library, asking if you’d teach her how to have sex, which translates into having sex with her. 

You haven’t had sex yet, but you’ve done everything else a lot. Rosie has been eager to finally do it, but there’s something that always stops you. She gets frustrated, but you eat her out, quickly bringing her to an orgasm, and all is forgotten until next time. You sense her getting impatient, but you’re scared that once you finally do, that’ll be it. 

And it’s been nice spending all this time with her. You see her pretty much every day. The only times you don’t is if she has to finish a project or if she has a date with Soohyun. When it’s the latter, you get all broody, but your mood immediately changes when she messages you as soon as she’s home. 

Rosie doesn’t tell you much about the dates unless you ask. She has shared that they’ve exchanged a couple kisses here and there, but she often compares Soohyun to you—too much teeth, too aggressive, too… everything she’s not used to. It goes straight to your ego because how could it not. 

The physical aspect of your relationship aside, you two are actually getting along. You still bicker, but it doesn’t end with her yelling anymore. 

Rosie’s a catch, which is understandable based on the amount of people that want to be with her. She’s funny. She’s kind. She’s driven. She’s sometimes in her own world, that you often get lost with her when she rambles on about her day. She’s someone you could see yourself with if it was under different circumstances. 

You hear your name being called, breaking you out of your thoughts as you stare at your computer screen. You see Rosie approaching you with Jisoo, waving as the other woman looks bored already. 

“Hey Rosie,” You greet affectionately. “Jisoo.” 

Jisoo gives you a wave, smiling, as Rosie walks behind your chair. 

“Whatcha working on?” Rosie peeks over your shoulder. 

It’s an expense report that your father sent you to look over, but you’ve been swamped with exams coming up. 

“Just work stuff,” You answer, stretching your arms and letting out a yawn. “Are you done with your project?” 

“Yeah, Jisoo and I were going to grab dinner but I wanted to find you before we left,” Rosie ruffles your hair. “I’ll come by after though?” 

Jisoo makes a gagging sound, earning a glare from the woman behind you. 

“Sure, I’ll be home around 8. I have a game today,” You inform her, checking the time. 

“Oh what? You should’ve told me, I would’ve came,” Rosie sounds disappointed. 

“It’s alright, I probably won’t play that much anyways,” You send her an easy smile. “I’ll see you later.” 

Rosie nods, blowing you a kiss that has you blushing while Jisoo makes the sound again. She grunts when Rosie hits her arm, a quick bye before getting dragged away. 

You watch their figures get smaller, suddenly missing Rosie that you can’t focus anymore on work. You sigh, shaking your head, deciding that you’ll just shoot around before your game. 

--

“Why,” Rosie tears her lips away from yours, tilting her head back that you attack her neck. “Won’t you have sex with me?” She pants when you suck on her skin, careful to not leave a mark because he might see it. 

“Are you in a rush?” You murmur, hand sneaking underneath her blouse to palm her breast. 

“Well—no,” She gasps when you gently pinch her nipple. “I just think I’m ready. We’ve done a lot and I—fuck.”

“You what?” You continue your ministrations on her chest, massaging each breast with equal attention. 

“I’ve been thinking about how you’d feel inside me,” You stop and she squirms underneath you. 

If you weren’t hard enough before, you’re about ready to bust through your briefs. 

You pull back, staring at her. Your mind’s going a mile a minute because you weren’t expecting to actually follow through tonight. 

“I want this with you,” Rosie whispers, sitting up slightly to kiss you on the lips. “If anything hurts, I’ll tell you.” 

Fuck fuck okay. It’s go time and you couldn’t talk yourself out of this. 

“Okay,” You nod, kissing her forehead. “Are you sure?” You have to ask one more time. 

“Yes,” Rosie tugs her blouse over her head, leaving her completely nude. “You’re overthinking this.” 

You are, but for reasons she doesn’t know. You don’t even know yourself. You’re acting as if it’s your first time. 

“Kiss me,” And you do, resting your weight on top of her. 

It’s slow and sensual, her lips soft on your as you trail your hand between her legs. You swipe a finger in between her folds to check and she’s wet. She moans at the contact, rolling her hips for more contact. You repeat the movement just to be sure. You’ve been told that you’re above average in the size department, and you don’t want her to be in any pain. 

Rosie gets impatient, tugging your waistband down to free your cock. You groan when her hand wraps around you, stroking you gently as you kick the material off. 

When you deem her wet enough, you meet her hand with yours, guiding your cock in between her lips. Your body screams at you to enter her, but instead with your control quickly slipping, you run your length in between, moaning at the first contact of her pussy. 

“Stop teasing,” Rosie pants, body trembling beneath you as you rock your hips. 

“I’m sorry,” You’re really not. You don’t know what comes over you, but you lean back, spreading her legs wider as you grip your cock, spreading the precum over. “I need to get a condom.” You reach over to your nightstand, but she stops you. 

“Have you had sex with anyone since?”

“No,” You’ve been too wrapped up in her that any woman that you’ve seen at a party or hooked up with previously hasn’t been on your mind. 

“Then no condom, I’m on the pill,” Rosie says softly. 

You stare at her for a moment, heart pounding against your chest at what she’s offering. Rationale goes out the window because even though you’ve had a condom rule for the past year, you’d love to feel her without one. 

“Trust me?” Rosie bites her lip, nodding, eyes locked at your cock as you rest the head at her entrance. “Tell me if it’s too much.” 

You take a breath, more for your sake, as your cock slowly enters her. Her hands shoot to your hip, stopping your movement instantly. 

You’ve barely made any headway, but from what you’re feeling so far is too much for you to handle. She’s warm, wet, and tight as her body tenses at the intrusion. You keep reminding yourself to go slow because this is still her first time and going at the pace your body is telling you to would not be fair to her. 

“Holy shit,” Rosie gasps as her hands move to grip your arms. “Keep going,” She breathes slowly, catching her breath as you press your hips slightly forward. 

Her heat envelops you, applying a delicious pressure the deeper you go. You glance down at where your bodies are joined and you’re barely halfway there. 

What you want to do is snap your hips forward, completely, but you’re aware of Rosie’s breathing and expressions for any signs of discomfort. 

Though that awareness is quickly getting lost. 

“Are you all the way?” Rosie asks weakly, eyes scrunched closed. 

“Uh, almost?” You’re able to say as you gently rock back and forth to get your cock inside more. “How are you feeling?” 

“It’s—fuck—not bad, but there’s just a lot of pressure,” Rosie breathes out. 

Tell me about it. 

You distract her by kissing her all over, keeping your rhythm as her body relaxes to take more of you in. Her nails scratch at your arms, but you’d take a little bit of pain any day. 

You don’t realize it, but in no time, you’re fully sheathed by her heat, letting out a whimper when you see your cock disappear inside her. 

“You doing okay?” You grunt, burying your face into her neck to keep yourself from cumming right then and there. 

“Yeah,” Rosie sighs, experimenting by squeezing her inner walls around you. 

“You’re so hot,” You murmur, trailing kisses along her neck. “Your pussy feels so good around me, you’re taking me so well.” Her body responds to your words—interesting—as she spreads her legs wider to take you in. “You like hearing how you make me feel, huh?” Rosie can only nod, tipping her head back.

You lean back, slowly pulling your hips back, and watch, entranced, as your cock slides out. It’s covered in her slick, and you’ve never seen anything hotter. You let out a sigh as you feel her contract around the tip. She moans and something snaps inside you that you suddenly thrust back in. 

Rosie screams at the pressure, letting out a filthy moan that has you groaning. Your body moves on its own accord, slowly pumping your cock in and out of her pussy that has you seeing stars. 

“Fuck, baby,” She moans, pants, as she starts to babble nonsense as her walls accommodate to your girth. “You feel so good.”

You try not to pay attention to the pet name, but it only spurs you on more.

Her walls rhythmically squeeze every time you bottom out. It doesn’t stop you. It makes you chase the feeling, an addiction that you wouldn’t mind having. 

You lose yourself in her body, watching her bite her lip and lose her breath as she grabs onto the sheets. Hearing your name fall from her lips wakes something up in you.The sounds she makes drive you to thrust into her, and when you hit a certain spot inside, she demands you don’t stop. You don’t break rhythm as she squirms. You grab her hips, letting out groans of your own as you feel your orgasm coming. 

“Chaeng,” Your hips falter as her pussy contracts after a particularly hard thrust, “I’m gonna cum.” 

“Inside,” Rosie locks eyes with you, “Cum inside me.” 

Your resolve snaps as you thrust wildly into her, chasing your orgasm as you feel the start of hers, walls squeezing your cocks so tightly you feel lightheaded. You feel her nails digging into your skin, holding onto like her life depends on it.

“Yes, yes,” Rosie chants like a song as her head snaps back, showing her neck as her body is wracked with pleasure.

Cum shoots from your cock inside her, painting her inner walls white, groaning as you rut into her. Your brain shuts off as you fall on top of her. She doesn’t seem to mind as she wraps her arms around you, placing soft kisses all over your face. You hear a contented sigh from her as you gasp for air. 

When you come to your senses, you automatically kiss Rosie on the lips—a simple, sweet one—as you catch her breath against your lips. She tries to deepen it, but you pull away, smiling softly as you fully take her in. Your heart has never felt so loud. 

“Hi,” You say quietly. 

“Hey yourself,” Rosie returns your smile. 

“You okay?” You glance down where you’re still connecting, hoping—praying—you weren’t too rough. 

“A little sore, but never better.” 

“ I wasn’t too rough right?”

“Nope,” Rosie shakes her head. 

You gently pull out, watching her face wince, but she lets out a quiet moan when your softened cock brushes against her clit. 

“Sorry!” You rush out, falling next to her as she chuckles. 

“Stop,” Rosie lightly slaps your arm, bringing it to rest on her stomach. 

“Sorry,” You mumble again. 

“I feel it leaking,” Rosie states simply, sitting up to look in between her legs. You join her and see a dribble of your cum peak through her folds. “That’s kind of hot.”

“Chaeng,” You groan, the image of what’s between her legs etched in your mind forever. 

“It is,” Rosie nudges your shoulder, laughing. “I’m exhausted. I hope I’m not too sore tomorrow, I have to carry a bunch of things to the studio.”

“I’ll help you.”

“Like actually?” Rosie sinks back into the pillow, turning to face you. 

You nod. 

“You don’t even have classes tomorrow?” 

“I know, but I’ll take you to school with all your stuff,” You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t help her, knowing that she’ll likely be sore because of you. That wouldn’t sit well with you. 

Rosie kisses you on the cheek, smiling before snuggling into you. It all feels very relationship-y, spiking your anxiety because you’re more attached to her than you ever intended. 

And that scares you the most. 

--

“Thanks Eunbi,” You send a grateful smile to the girl sitting across from you as you’re finishing up the group project that completely slipped your mind. 

“It’s fine oppa,” Eunbi laughs. “It’s a low-stakes project anyways.”

“Still,” You roll your eyes, annoyed with yourself more than anything. “I would’ve literally forgotten about it if you didn’t say anything.” 

You and Eunbi were assigned as partners for a project that wasn’t worth much towards your grade, but it was supposed to help with the semester project that was worth your entire grade. Eunbi was someone you interacted with frequently, sharing the same classes, but spending the past couple days with her has kept your mind off a certain someone (who you’ve been actively avoiding for the past few days)z

The day after you and Rosie had sex, you did drop her off at school, carrying all her things to the studio so she wouldn’t have to lift a finger. Naturally, people saw you together, creating a small rumor about you dating. It freaked you out because everyone is aware of her and Soohyun that you needed to distance yourself from her. 

Of course, without her realizing what you’re doing. But Rosie was perceptive, so sooner or later, she’ll confront you. 

“Are you doing anything right now?” Eunbi asks after she finished packing her belongings. 

“Uh no?” 

“Did you want to get dinner?” 

“Sure why not,” You shrug because you’re not doing anything wrong, but why did you suddenly feel a weight on your shoulders? 

Eunbi smiles, and she’s pretty. She knows it too, but she doesn’t let that get to her head. She is someone you haven’t gone out with or slept with, so it couldn’t hurt to spend a little bit more time with her outside of school work. 

Right?

Wrong. 

The universe has a funny way of making things happen. 

As you’re exiting the library, Rosie’s outside. You try to avoid her, but she looks up at the right moment, eyes narrowing, and stomps her way over to you. 

“Seriously?” Is all she says, glancing behind you to see who you’re with. 

“What?” Your wall’s up, especially with people passing by. You pray to a higher being that she doesn’t make a scene. 

“You know what,” Rosie huffs, crossing her arms. 

“Uh, oppa,” Eunbi says before you could respond to the woman seething in front of you. “We can have dinner another time.” 

You turn your head, and Eunbi has an understanding smile on her face, nodding encouragingly while you feel the metaphorical daggers stabbing the side of your face. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll see you around okay?” Eunbi’s eyes crinkle, nodding politely at Rosie before walking away. 

Once Eunbi’s a good few meters away, Rosie tugs on your arm, “Seriously, what the fuck? You’ve been avoiding me.” 

Okay so maybe you haven’t been handling this the best. You’ve intentionally missed her phone calls and blatantly ignored her messages. You don’t know if it’s because of how you feel towards her, which you’re still trying to figure out, or if it’s because you thought that it was a one-time thing. 

“Can we not do this here?” You offer weakly, and her jaw noticeably clenches. 

“Fine,” Rosie relents, shaking her head, cursing you under her breath before walking towards the parking lot.

--

You’re sitting on the couch, watching Rosie pace back and forth across your living room. She didn’t say much to you on the car ride over except that she was playing music. She grunted a thanks when you opened the door for her, opting to change into more comfortable clothes, leaving her some on your bed in case she wanted to change. 

Other than that, she hasn’t said anything else. 

“Did you want me to cook something?”

No response, the sound of Rosie’s feet continues to shuffle on the hardwood. 

“You know,” Rosie stops in front of the window, back towards you as she looks out at the night city skyline, “I spent the last three days wracking my brain over why you weren’t talking to me.” 

“I can–” Rosie shakes her head, prompting you to not say anything more. 

“I thought everything between us was going well. Yeah we still bicker, but we aren’t arguing like we used to. We had sex. I thought it was great aside from the expected soreness, but then you just ghost me,” Thankfully she doesn’t see you wince. “I was like there’s no way he’s going to treat me like I’m one of his usual fucks, right? He has to have more respect for me.” Rosie turns around, eyes narrowed as she walks towards you. 

“Rosie–”

“I thought about it more and I even talked about it with Lisa and Jennie because I needed someone, anyone really, to make sure I wasn’t going crazy,” Rosie stands in between your legs, crossing her arms. “Lisa being Lisa said that I was overthinking it too much, but do you want to know what Jennie said?” 

“What?” You gulp, gaze locked on hers. 

“Since you and Jennie had a fling, or whatever,” You detect something off in her tone when she says that, but if you point it out, she’ll yell at you. “She said that maybe you had feelings for me.”

Fucking Jennie. 

“I called it absurd because it’s you and me. We set the rules, which for what it’s worth, we broke a couple of them, but that’s the one we absolutely couldn’t break,” Rosie’s eyes narrow, searching your face for truth. You hoped you weren’t giving anything away, but you weren’t too sure. 

Sentences weren’t forming under her intense gaze, so you could only nod. 

“I have to ask, do you have feelings for me?” Rosie asks point blank. 

Yes is the short answer. 

The long answer is much more complicated for you to put into words because you’re admitting to yourself that you do, and that’s what’s fucking you up more. 

“No.”

“No? Then why were you avoiding me? I called. I texted. I had half the mind of just coming over here to curse you out, but Jennie stopped me,” Her shoulders drop, defeated, as the hurt breaks through her façade. 

“I figured you were done with me,” You say softly. 

“Why would you think that?” Rosie kneels in between your legs, resting her hands on your thighs. Your brain short circuits because it’s a very familiar position that your body has become very conditioned to. 

“We had sex, isn’t that what you wanted? To just get it over with?” 

“Well yeah,” Rosie folds her arms, cradling her face in her hands as she stares at you. “But I still want to do more things with you. Soohyun and I have gone on a few dates, but we aren’t anything official.” 

“When he asks you out, that’s when this,” You gesture between your bodies, “Will be over?” 

Rosie nods, “It would make the most sense right? I would be cheating on him if we continued doing things and I called him my boyfriend.”

It stings to hear that more than you thought it would, but you swallow that, pushing it deep down. 

“That’s true. You’ll tell me when that happens?” You ask. You need to prepare yourself for a heartbreak you weren’t expecting. 

“You’ll be the first to know when he asks me out,” Rosie moves, straddling your lap. “But for now, I want to do things with you,” She grounds her hips down, showing you exactly what she wants to do. 

“Yeah?” Your cock starts to awaken, hardening as your hands grip her thighs. “Like what?” 

“Ride you,” Rosie brings her lips to yours, murmuring, “I’m not sore anymore.” 

You groan, mind clouded with her body bouncing on your cock—a very imminent reality as she pulls her top over her head, leaving her completely nude from the waist up.

“Go ahead, Chaeng,” You whisper against her lips, letting her take control of the night. 

And you know you’ll be absolutely fucked out by the end of it. 

--

--

Your hand contacts the flesh of her thigh, a loud smack rings through your room. 

“Fuck baby,” Rosie moans loudly, rolling her hips back, trying to get your cock where she needs you most. 

“Do you deserve it?” You bend forward, kissing her neck sweetly. 

“Yes,” She pants, nodding obediently, squirming in your grip as she continues her movement, brushing your cock in between her lower lips. 

Another loud smack echoes as Rosie nearly screams when you aim your cock at her opening, entering her in one swift thrust.

“Good girl,” You whisper, leaning back before watching your cock pull out just enough where your tip stays within her warmth. 

“Please,” Rosie turns her head around, biting her lip, nodding that she’s more than okay. You feel her walls contract on your tip, a groan falling from your lips before you thrust back in. 

You start off slow, wanting to savor this because whether Rosie knows it or not, this is the last time for this to happen. 

Another month has gone by and Soohyun still hasn’t asked her out. Everyone knows they’re an item, but it hasn’t happened—yet. 

Though everyone—besides her friends—doesn’t know that you fuck her every time after their dates. 

The universe still never works in your favor, so you just happened to be in line to get coffee behind Soohyun and one of his friends before you had class. They spoke loud enough for you to hear his friend ask Soohyun when he was going to ask Rosie to be his girlfriend officially. Curiosity got the best of you, and when Soohyun said tomorrow after dinner, you knew you had to see her tonight. 

It wasn’t out of the routine for you to see Rosie after school, but it was out of the routine for you to ask. You hardly initiated it because you didn’t want to assume, but the few times you did, it was because of your parents’ pressuring you to join them on an overseas trip to Japan to meet with the Nakamuras. You were overly stressed out and Rosie conditioned you to go to her to release any frustrations you had. 

Was she surprised when you walked up to her in front of her roommates? No, because you were friends with them too. Was she surprised when you asked if she wanted to come over tonight? You weren’t sure, but you saw her head tilt, questioning before answering sure. You ignored the smirks that formed on their faces. 

Rosie knew something was up the moment you pushed her against the front door as soon as it shut, dragging your lips across her neck. 

“Everything okay?” Rosie asked in between breaths, letting out a squeak when you grabbed one of her legs, wrapping it around your waist. 

“Yeah,” You answered, ignoring your thoughts as you grounded your hips over hers. 

She didn’t ask anything else, moaning softly as you sucked on her collarbone, lifting her other leg to carry her to your room.

Rosie’s inner walls tighten along your cock on every pull out, and she moans, chest heaving as she takes your cock. Her body quivers in your hands as you saw yourself in and out, in and out. 

“Baby,” The pet name falls from her lips. She only calls you it when your balls deep in her, and it spurs you on every single time. “You feel so good.”

“You’re a good girl,” You murmured, pressing your chest against her back. You stop your movements, leaving your length fully sheathed inside, “Show me what good girls do.”

Rosie lets out a small whine, squirming as she moves her body along your cock. Her hips gyrating on yours has you seeing stars, moaning in her ear. Her pussy tightens, rubbing itself over and over, and you scoff, knowing she found the special spot inside of her. 

One hand slaps her ass, and she stops. 

You’ve learned a lot about Rosie this past month. She may mouth off at you a lot in public, but behind closed doors, she’s obedient as ever, tapping into a side of you you hadn’t been since Nayeon. You both soon realized, after a particularly long night together, that it was something you both enjoyed with each other. Whenever she was particularly bratty, especially with her friends there, it would rile you up a lot. 

“Good girls don’t cum first,” You say flatly. “Guess we stop now.” You slowly pull out before her hand reaches for yours, stopping your exit. 

“No no no,” Rosie whines, vigorously shaking her head. “I’m sorry, you just feel too good.”

“Selfish,” You click your tongue, shaking your head. 

“Baby please,” Rosie begs. She squeezes her inner walls on what’s remaining inside her, a dangerous trick she learned quickly, that has you groaning, slipping your length back inside. “Oh shit,” She moans at being filled.

“Fuck fine,” You relent, but you had other plans for her. You stand upright. You reach for her long blonde hair, tugging with enough force to pull her back against your chest. “But I’m fucking your pussy. This,” You snap your hips against hers, “Is mine. Right?”

Eyes widening, Rosie nods enthusiastically, “Yes baby yes.” 

“Mine?” You snap your hips again, watching her breasts bounce. 

“Yes,” She moans. 

“Say it.” 

Her hand turns your head towards her, bringing you in for a lustful kiss, tongues dancing as she moans, yours, into your mouth. 

You suddenly drop the grip on her hair, her body falling onto the bed, taking you with her. You fall on top of her prone form and start hammering into her pussy. 

You hope her screaming doesn’t get you a noise complaint, but if it does, you don’t give a flying fuck. Especially with the pressure her pussy is, squeezing your cock for all you have. 

“Fuck you’re so good,” Rosie bites into her lip, eyes rolling back as she grips the sheets, crumpling in her hand. “So fucking good,” She repeats in between moans.

“You’re being good for me,” Her pussy tightens at the praise. “Keep being good for me.”

Your hands grip her ass, drilling your cock into her, and something snaps inside of you when she screams. 

“Fuck this pussy’s mine,” You groan against her tangled hair. 

“Yours, yours, yours—oh fuck,” Rosie chants, eyes shooting open as her orgasm surprises you both. 

You feel your cock get pushed out as Rosie begins to squirt against your body, and she fucking gushes.

You’ve never made a girl squirt before, and Rosie has never had such a bodily reaction. You feel a streak of possessiveness rolls through your body. You shove your cock through her wetness, and you feel another rush of liquid as you wildly thrust in and out of her body.

“Fuck Chaeng,” You moan, your mind screaming mine mine, as your orgasm hits, shooting your load deep inside her. It must’ve triggered another orgasm because her pussy tightens again, knocking the air from your lungs, as your hips stutter erratically. 

“Jesus fuck,” Rosie pants from underneath you, her body still quivering from her orgasm. Your chest heaves, hands slipping underneath her waist to hold her tightly. “That was…I don’t even know.”

“Yeah,” You grunt, kissing her hair before gently pulling your cock out. You don’t know either because you’ve taken Rosie roughly before, but never like this. She lets out a quiet moan, sighing, as you glance down to the mess between you. Quite a mess indeed. 

Your body collapses next to Rosie as exhaustion takes over, but she quickly snuggles into you, wrapping an arm over your back. 

“Are you okay?” Rosie mumbles into your ear, chin resting on your shoulder. 

“Are you?” You turn your head to face her. The guilt washing in after you realize how hard you were on her. 

“Well I know for a fact I’ll be sore tomorrow, but I’m great,” Rosie kisses your skin, mumbling out, “But seriously, are you okay?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You ask quietly. 

Rosie stares at you, peeking her head over to search for an answer you’re scared she’ll find. She looks beautiful, and you’d love to tell her, but with the way she’s looking at you, something else might slip out. 

“You called me mine,” Rosie says softly, bringing her fingers to comb through your hair. 

“Sorry,” You bury your face into your pillow, embarrassed. “Heat of the moment,” You lie, knowing damn well it wasn’t. 

“Don’t be shy,” Rosie scratches your head. “It was cute,” Giggling softly before adding, “Being yours sounds nice.”

--

You’re at a bar with a few of your friends—Jennie and Lisa included. It’s a normal night out with your friends to celebrate making it another week. You couldn’t really enjoy it like you normally would because you’ve been checking your phone every couple minutes, waiting for a message you know is coming your way. 

“Oppa, pay attention to us,” Lisa whines next to you as Jennie chuckles on her lap. 

“If you want to have a threesome, just ask,” That comment earns you a hard smack on the arm from Jennie, huffing in her now-girlfriend’s lap. 

“Oh fuck off,” Jennie spits out, muttering to Lisa about how much of an asshole you are and why she ever slept with you. 

You check your phone for any notifications and your heart drops when you see one from Rosie. You casually glance to make sure neither of the girls are peering over your shoulder, while you hear them talking to Ryujin on their other side. 

You take a breath, tapping the screen to read the message. 

Soohyun asked me to be his girlfriend. 

You already knew it was coming, so why did it still hurt?

You lock your phone, shaking your head, as you try to process your emotions. 

The time you’ve been spending with Rosie is over, and you couldn’t help but feel sad over it. It feels like when you and Nayeon broke up, but a thousand times worse. It’s not like you two were actually a couple, mere fuck buddies that spent hours together watching shows, eating out with, and a lot of other things in between. 

But then why does it feel like it was more than a fuck? 

You were aware that you were growing attached to Rosie, but you feigned it off that it was just because of how much you saw each other. She became part of your routine, that you couldn’t remember the time when she wasn’t. 

Your attachment clearly was more because you developed feelings, actual feelings that weren’t revolving around lust. So yeah, you like Rosie, hell, you may even be in love with her at this point, but you lost your shot. 

And there probably won’t ever be another. 

You groan, slamming your hand on the table loud enough that it jolts the girls next to you. 

“Oppa, what the fuck?” Jennie asks, concerned with your sudden outburst. 

“I gotta go,” Your voice cracks, walking away before you break down completely.

“Wait!” Lisa yells after you, spurring you to move quicker through the crowd. 

You turn your head before you exit, but you can’t pinpoint their face in the sea of people. You let out a sigh of relief, knowing you lost them, before the thought of Rosie seeps back into your mind. 

You need something—anything—to get your thoughts and feelings off of her. An idea quickly comes to you, one that you regret having, but it’s your only option. 

You pull your phone out, scrolling through your contact list before hitting call. 

The line rings once before a concerned voice answers. 

“Book me a flight to Osaka.”

--

--

It’s been two weeks since you received a message that shattered you. 

It’s also been two weeks since you left for Osaka abruptly, deciding to join your parents to meet with the Nakamuras for another business formality. 

Your parents were surprised that you wanted to join, especially since the last discussion you had with your father had your mother having to step in between before either of you slammed the other into the wall. Your father was excited the moment you showed up at your childhood home straight after the club while your mother looked concerned. She asked if everything was alright, but you brushed her off, not wanting to get into it with her. 

Regardless, they were still happy you joined them. Your father more so as he made the off comment that it would be good to spend some time with Kazuha. 

Which you did, and with Satoshi. 

You gave Kazuha the heads up that you’d be arriving with your parents. She was another person surprised, but she welcomed you nonetheless. You also met her boyfriend, who you quickly became close to, much to Kazuha’s dismay. She’d tell anyone that she was the third wheel by how much you and Satoshi spoke. 

It was only meant to be a weeklong trip, but Kazuha and Satoshi invited you to stay for their school break, to visit Tokyo and Hiroshima. You jumped at the opportunity. Anything that kept you away from seeing Rosie and Soohyun holding hands on campus was what you wanted. 

Satoshi brought his younger sister along too, Kasumi. You thought she was a bit of a hothead, but she was pretty and you were in another country trying to get over someone. 

When it came down to actually hooking up, you couldn’t. Your body physically shut down from anything you two alluded to. Making out had no effect on you. Her rubbing her hand over your crotch felt nice, but not enough for you to get hard. You felt bad, but you explained that you just couldn’t because you weren’t in the right headspace for it. You were so caught up in your feelings with Rosie that you couldn’t perform, no matter how much Kasumi was interested. 

She understood, chuckling because she figured there was someone else, but she thought you were cute so she wanted to at least try. There weren’t any hard feelings, leaving Japan with two great friends. And Kazuha too, you guess. 

You hear your mother call your name out from across the aisle, motioning for you to sit next to her as the plane starts its descent. 

“How are you doing?” Your mother asks once you buckle your seatbelt. 

“I’m fine,” An automated response whenever either of your parents ask, but the difference between them is that your mother has a tendency to prod. 

“How was Tokyo?” 

“It was fun. Kazuha and Satoshi took me around,” You answer vaguely, knowing that if you shared actual details about what you did, she would have a heart attack. 

“That’s great,” Your mother nods, smiling. “How’s Chaeyoung?” 

You freeze. You knew your mothers spoke often, but she had rarely ever asked you about her. 

“I saw Alice a few weeks ago as I was coming home. She mentioned you and Chaeyoung had been spending some time together,” Your mother continues, noticing your sudden apprehension. 

Oh. 

That’s news to you because you didn’t think Rosie mentioned you to Alice of all people. The siblings were close, like really close, so if she talked about you, it probably meant something. But you were trying to get over her, and thinking about what it could mean would drive you crazy. 

“Oh, uh, Rosie’s doing well. I think she’s going abroad for her internship this summer, she just has to decide where she wants to go,” You say. Rosie had been bouncing ideas off you since she heard back. You were there when she received a couple emails, watching her shock and excitement paint her face. She nearly ripped your clothes off when she got accepted into the one she really wanted. 

“Fashion right? Chaeyoung always had an eye for that,” Your mother answers pensively. 

You’re inclined to say something else, but another question is thrown your way before you could. 

“Are you two dating?” 

“Mother,” You roll your eyes. 

“That’s not a no,” She quips, chuckling at your expense. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me. You’ve always been fond of her ever since you were kids. We, her mother and I, have talked about it before.”

“What’re you even talking about?” You sigh, shaking your head. This conversation has taken a turn for the worse. You thought your mother wanted you to marry Kazuha, but apparently, she has been talking to Rosie’s mother about you two for years. 

“You don’t remember? You used to come home frustrated with Rosie, whining and grumbling about why she wouldn’t talk to you,” Her words unlock a box you kept hidden away. “It wasn’t until you hit high school where you pretty much gave up trying to be her friend. Even at that point, Rosie would talk to you, or maybe more antagonize you is a better description. You were beaming after those weekly dinners with the Parks.”

You didn’t comment as thoughts and feelings rushed to the surface. 

“Regardless, we thought you two would date at some point,” Your mother shrugged as if what she just said had no impact on you. 

Your mother doesn’t say anything else, opening one of her latest novels, signaling that the conversation is over. 

It really didn’t matter how you felt before, but then why does it feel like it’s making it a hundred times harder to get over her? 

--

You drop your duffel bag on the floor, kicking the door shut, as you’re finally home after two weeks. You plop your body on the couch, yawning from the flight. You have to go to campus tomorrow, which you weren’t entirely excited about. The chances of you seeing her were high, but you didn’t know what she was going to do. 

You’ve been avoiding all messages she sent you, which were a lot. She called you too, leaving a few voicemails that you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to. Kazuha caught you staring at your phone one night and made you promise not to open any messages that could derail your trip. It didn’t help Satoshi agreed, saying that it would be like a reset. 

You decide that now was the time to check them. 

Where are you? 

Can you answer the phone? 

I’m coming over. 

I’m outside, can you open the door? 

Fuck it, I know your code. 

Where the hell are you? 

Did you go to Osaka?

All those messages were from the day after Soohyun asked her to be his girlfriend. You saw she texted you everyday for a week asking if you could call her, but her last message broke you. 

I can only assume you went to Osaka. I hope everything’s okay. 

It takes everything in you to not reply now. If you do, you’d just be an asshole to her for no contact for two weeks. You’re an asshole either way, but it would rub salt in the wound. 

You check your other messages and see a few from Jennie, who rightfully curses you out for being a dick and to just respond so Rosie knows you're alive. Lisa sent one too, asking you where you are, but no threats. Jisoo’s message made you chuckle, a simple reply to her or else, was clear enough.

You sigh, locking your phone and tossing it on the coffee table. 

You’ll deal with everything tomorrow. 

--

The first person that approaches you on campus is Jennie. She shoves you, letting her when you know you could overpower her. 

“You’re a fucking ass,” Jennie pushes you again, enough force to lose your balance. 

“What did I do?” You stupidly ask, avoiding her piercing gaze. 

“You know what the hell you did, you better fucking talk to her,” Jennie says firmly, poking your shoulder. 

“If I see her,” You mumble, rubbing the spot. 

“You better,” You wait for her to say more, but the sound of her walking away brings your gaze to her retreating figure. 

Sighing as this isn’t how you want to start your day, you decide to be early for class.

The universe doesn’t even want you to be early because Nayeon stops you along the way.

“Hey I need a favor,” Nayeon asks, standing in front of you. 

“What?” You didn’t mean to sound irritated, but blame Jennie.

“Can you do this photoshoot for Mina and Sana? Their original photographer flaked, and they’re out of options,” Nayeon explains and you know she’s telling the truth. 

“Why me?” 

“I suggested you. I remember you taking photographs,” Nayeon smiles softly. “It’s a project that’s worth half their grade and their professor wants quality pictures.”

“What class is it for?” You prod, adding, “I’ve never done a modeling kind of shoot.”

“Their visual concepts class, I think. I don’t know. All I know is that they texted the group chat, stressing out,” Nayeon explains, shrugging since she was a film major. 

“Fine,” Nayeon claps happily, “Are you going to be there?” You had to ask, needing the time to mentally prepare yourself to spend, most likely, the whole day with her. 

“What? No,” Nayeon shakes her head. “I’ll be in Busan this weekend. Why did you want to hang out with me?” She wiggles her eyebrows. 

“Absolutely not,” You say firmly and her shoulders drop. 

“Fine whatever,” Nayeon huffs, hiking her bag on her shoulder. “Anyways, I’ll text you the details about it later. It’s tomorrow. I don’t think you need to bring anything, but bring your camera stuff just in case.” 

You nod, thinking about your schedule for tomorrow, which thankfully nothing was planned. 

“Oh,” Nayeon turns her head, adding one last detail before walking away, “Chaeyoung will be there too. She’s styling them.” 

Nayeon doesn’t wait for you to reply, leaving you speechless and even more irritated. 

Fucker. 

--

--

“Let’s take a break,” You announce after checking the shots you just took, satisfied with the outcome. “Fifteen?”

“Oh thank god,” Sana sinks to the ground as Mina chuckles next to her. “If we weren’t desperate, I wouldn’t have said yes.”

“Be thankful I care about this, or your project would be shit,” You answer, flicking through the pictures and thinking of how to change the lighting. 

“Thanks again for doing this, oppa,” Mina squeezes your arm before walking off to sit with Momo. 

You grumble a reply, turning without even thinking, and you accidentally bump into someone. 

“Shit sorry,” You look up to see Rosie five seconds away from losing the grip on the clothes she’s carrying. You immediately drop the camera against your chest, reaching for the items and taking it out of her hands. 

“It’s fine,” Rosie grabs the clothes back without another word, walking towards Mina. 

You sigh, shaking your head, trying not to lose focus on why you’re here. 

When you arrived this morning at one of the parks at the Han River, most of the crew was already present, setting up. You greeted everyone before seeing Rosie with Dahyun, discussing the outfits and concepts. 

“Hey good morning,” You greeted softly as you stood in front of them. 

Dahyun gave you a bright smile while Rosie forced hers, the smile not quite reaching her eyes. 

“Morning oppa!” Dahyun was as cheerful as ever at eight in the morning on a Saturday. “You could use the school’s equipment if you want,” She nods towards the table with the camera and lenses, “But feel free to use yours, whichever you feel comfortable with.” 

Another woman walked up to Dahyun, asking her to come with her to make sure they were correctly set up. Dahyun excused herself, leaving you alone with Rosie. 

“Chaeng—”

“Now you want to talk?” Rosie’s words cut sharply. “I don’t have anything to say to you right now, can we just get through today?” 

“Okay,” Was all you could say, nodding. You knew she had a lot to say, but neither of you could exactly hash it out with all these people around. 

“Okay,” Rosie nodded, grabbing whatever was near her, and walked away. 

Once Sana and Mina arrived, you quickly switched gears. You pushed whatever thoughts and feelings you had for Rosie aside, and went straight into work mode. 

You had zero experience taking photographs like this. Sure you’ve taken photos of your friends, and Nayeon would force you to take pictures of her whenever you went out. The last person you took a photo of was Rosie when you walked through the streets of Myeongdong a few weeks back. 

That was about as close as you got to taking pictures of people, but working like this was exhilarating.

You and Rosie worked well together too. It made you a lot more comfortable with directing with how seamlessly it went. You asked her opinion on what lighting should be used and she gave feedback that had the shots coming out great. Other than suggestions, your conversations had been minimal.

“You know,” Sana joins you in the empty seat next to you as you sift through the photos on the laptop, “You’re an asshole right?” 

“Okay what the fuck,” You break your attention away from the screen to a smirk on Sana’s face. 

“Chaeyoung-ah talks to us, and she sort of filled us in about this guy, who wasn’t Soohyun, that she had been seeing,” Sana sinks into the chair, glancing at the picture of her and Mina on the screen. “It wasn’t really hard to put two and two together about who she was referring to, and Nayeon confirmed something was going on between you.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” You brush the woman off, rolling your eyes as you delete one of the blurry shots. 

“Sure you don’t,” Sana chuckles, “But regardless of whatever was going on between you two, you should know—if you don’t already—Rosie didn’t say yes to Soohyun when he asked her out.”

You don’t let her words faze you as you continue to delete shots you don’t deem worthy. 

“One could only wonder right?” Sana goes on, oblivious to your inner turmoil. “Soohyun’s a good-looking guy, nice enough, and spent a fair amount of time courting her, just for him to be rejected.”

“What are you getting at Sana?” You stop what you were doing, turning to face her. 

“Just wanted to figure out why Rosie said no,” Sana shrugs as Dahyun passes by, informing her that it’s time for the next outfit change. “Anyways, Rosie wouldn’t say, but it’s obvious why.”

“And why is that?” You take the bait, preparing yourself for whatever’s going to come out of Sana’s mouth next. 

“Because of you,” Sana stands, letting out a small yawn. “Anyways, let’s get this over with. I’m ready to drink. Don’t be a dick.” 

You aren’t sure if Sana was referring to herself or to Rosie, and you couldn’t ask since she left to go change into the next outfit. 

--

The rest of the photo shoot goes without a hitch. You tried your best to not let the conversation with Sana bleed into your work, and you hoped no one noticed. It was slightly harder than it was already to work with Rosie, but you maintained some sense of professionalism. 

There was a minor issue with the zipper breaking on Sana’s dress, but Rosie was quick to fix the problem by throwing a blazer over her. Other than that, everything went well. You thanked everyone for their help today, realizing it was a long day, which everyone was happy to hit the bar once everything was packed up. 

You offered to edit the pictures for them, since you didn’t exactly want to go out. Mina said you didn’t have to, but you were adamant about it. Sana shrugged, indifferent if you joined or not. 

You see Rosie talking to Momo and swallow your pride as you make your way to them. 

“Come on Chaeng,” You catch Momo say as you get closer. “It’ll be fun!” 

“I don’t think so Momo,” Rosie shakes her head. “I just want to stay in tonight.”

“One drink?” Momo begs as you stand next to the women. 

“Sorry Momo,” Rosie smiles, eyes falling on you before her smile slowly fades. 

“Oppa, convince her to go,” Momo pouts. 

“I’m with her on this one Momo,” She frowns, shaking her head, muttering something in Japanese that makes you laugh. “I understand, you know that right?” 

Momo’s eyes widened, cheeks starting to turn red before walking away. 

Once Momo’s a good distance away, you turn to Rosie, a sad smile forming on your face as she looks everywhere but at you. 

“Can we talk?” You ask quietly. 

“So talk,” Rosie crosses her arms. 

“Like in private? Please.”

Rosie relents, sighing. “Let’s just finish with cleaning up and we can go for a walk okay?” 

“Okay,” You nod, grateful that she’s giving you the time of day. 

You have to be honest with her, and if she rejects you completely, at least you can say you tried. 

—

Rosie shivers next to you, the chill of the sunset creeping in. You shrug your coat off, wrapping it around her shoulders. 

“Thanks,” Rosie mumbles out as you continue walking along the river. 

There are a few people out as well, mostly couples huddled together. It almost makes you want to wrap an arm around her to keep her warm. You won’t though because it’s awkward. 

Rosie walks into the convenience store without saying anything, which you follow her into. She grabs an instant coffee before turning to you, asking if you wanted anything. You shake your head, even though the bottle of soju behind the glass screams your name. 

When she goes to pay, you quickly swipe your card before she could say no. She scoffs, shaking her head, as she walks out. You follow her, keeping a small distance as you watch her take small sips with every step. She stops, leaning on the railing, and stares out to the river. 

Naturally you join her, letting the background noise fill the silence. 

After a few minutes, Rosie says, “You wanted to talk, so go ahead.” 

“First off, I’m sorry,” You say quietly. You apologize for not replying, and most likely worrying her. You explain that going to Osaka was an impulsive choice, but that doesn’t excuse your behavior. 

“Well why? Did I do something?” Rosie turns to face you, lip quivering. You notice her eyes suddenly glossy, and it pangs you to see her like this. 

“No, no,” You shake your head firmly, closing your eyes as you choose your next words carefully. “When I got that text about Soohyun, I finally accepted something.” 

“What?” 

You slowly open your eyes, staring at her features, completely enamored by her. Like you always have been. 

“I’m in love with you,” You admit for the first time out loud, and you’re happy it’s to her. 

Rosie’s eyes widen, gaze looking away as her whole body shifts to face the water again. 

“You’re an asshole, you know that right?” Rosie says quietly. “And an idiot.” She adds, huffing. 

Not the response you were expecting, but before you could ask what she means, she tells you anyway. 

“I’ve spent mostly every day with you for the past month, then we have a really intense night of sex where you fucking claimed me,” You wince at her words, “Then you just leave for two weeks without any contact to come back and say you’re in love with me because of a text of someone asking me out?” 

“Well when you put—”

“I’m not finished,” Rosie huffs, facing you once again. “I’m in love with you, too dumbass. After that last night, I realized that as much as you piss me off, as much as you’re so fucking stubborn, that the idea of being yours felt real. I couldn’t say yes to Soohyun when I unknowingly said yes to you.” 

“You want to be with me?” You stare at her, dumbfounded. 

“If that wasn’t clear enough, yes,” Rosie rolls her eyes. “We’ve basically already been dating, so if you’d just stop running away after and just talk to—whoa,” She gasps when your arm snakes around her waist, pulling her into you, tilting her head up. 

“Say it,” You ghost your lips against hers, moving as she misses. 

“See, stubborn,” There’s a sharp inhale when you kiss her sweetly. 

“Say it,” You mumble, dipping your tongue in as she lets out a moan. 

“Yours,” Rosie wraps her arms around your neck, melting into you as the kiss deepens. 

“I love you,” You detach your lips, resting your forehead against hers. 

“I love you too,” Tracing her fingers along your neck, “Even though you’ve been a jerk these past two weeks. How are you going to make it up to me?” 

“I can think of a few ways.”

--

--

Rosie slams the door behind you, wincing at the frames rattling against the wall. She kicks her shoes off aggressively, barely sparing you a glance as she walks to your room. That door also slams. 

She’s pissed. 

Maybe it was your fault. Okay so it was your fault, but you didn’t mean for it to happen. 

You met up with a few of your friends to celebrate the end of exams and the school year. It was also a small farewell to you and Rosie as you were going to Paris together for the summer. Rosie took the internship at YSL and she was able to get you one too after she sneakily sent over the portfolio from the project. 

Your parents didn’t mind, figuring it would be good for you to take this time before you graduate into the real world. They were supportive that if you decided to do it for real, they’d be more than okay with it. That surprised you, but you couldn’t complain. Though the teasing from your mother was enough. 

You were at the bar, waiting to get your order when Ryujin sat in your lap. You couldn’t do anything as her weight pressed you down. 

“What the hell Ryujin?” You try to get her off you. 

“Oppa, come on. When are you going to ditch Chaeyoung and get back to bed with me?” Ryujin grounds her hips over your crotch, stealing a moan from you as the movement catches you off guard. 

“I’m not going to,” You grit out as she repeats the movement. 

“What the fuck?” You hear Rosie’s voice behind you, gathering the strength to push the woman off your lap. 

“I can explain!” You turn to face her, hands up. 

“Come on Chaeyoung, share him,” Ryujin trails a finger up your chest. “I miss him.” 

“Oh you fucking—” You step out of Ryujin’s hold, lungeing for your girlfriend before she mauls the other woman. 

“Let’s go,” You nearly carry Rosie out as she squirms against your hold. A few people stare as you walk by, but she was about five seconds away from causing a bigger scene, that you couldn’t care less. 

Once you got outside, Rosie ripped into you. She called you every name in the book for doing that. When you explained that you were pushing her off, she called you an idiot for even allowing it. You had no response, knowing it was a lost cause. 

Officially dating Rosie for the past few months, you learned a lot, especially the type of girlfriend she was. She’s more affectionate, tender, soft when it’s just you or with her closest friends. She does a lot for you without even realizing you need help. She acts indifferent to the public about things, but tells you how she feels and what she thinks in private. She shows you in more ways than one just how much she loves you. 

But she’s still the same too. 

She still argues with you over anything and everything. She mouths off whenever she doesn’t get her way (you give in anyways). She relentlessly teases you any chance she gets. 

She’s also very possessive of you. She hates when any girls glance your way. She especially despises any of your past flings (except Jennie) as they boldly ask you to hook up with her right there. She can’t stand it when you say she’s jealous because she’s not. But her use of mine is repeated multiple times as she fucks you to remind you who you belonged to, like you could forget. 

She’s still the biggest pain in your ass, but you love her anyway. 

You open your room door, surprised to see Rosie already changed for bed. She’s adorable dressed in your clothes, the size just a tad too big on her body. You quietly close the door, ignoring her movements as you grab clothes from the dresser. 

When you join her in bed, sliding under the covers, you lay on your side, staring at her scroll through her phone. 

“Chaeng,” You pout as she continues scrolling. “Come on, you know I didn’t do anything.” 

“Why’d you let her sit on your lap then?” Rosie says sarcastically. 

“I didn’t. She just sat there,” You reason, rolling your eyes at her pettiness. 

“Cause you just keep your lap available for anyone to sit on?” 

“Jesus christ, you know I don’t. You’re acting like a brat,” You huff, rolling onto your back. 

“I’m acting like a brat?” Rosie raises her voice, her phone tossed on the nightstand. She hovers over you, eyes narrowing, “I’m not the one letting girls openly sit on my lap when I’m clearly in a relationship.”

“Believe me, everyone knows that I am,” You glare, deciding right then and there you’re going to taunt her. “Not my fault my dick’s just that good they miss me.” 

“You’re fucking unbelievable,” Rosie scoffs, “It’s not even that good.” 

“What do you have to compare it to? You’ve only slept with me and clearly aren’t going after anyone else’s dick,” It’s a low blow, but she’s starting to piss you off. 

In a flurry of movements, Rosie swings her leg over you, cupping your chin rather aggressively before whispering, “Did you want me to? I’m sure there’s still a line of guys dying to get inside of me.”

Your temper flares, hands gripping her waist before flipping her over. 

Now if Rosie’s possessive of you, naturally you’re possessive of her. Probably worse. 

You find your hands underneath your shirt, and she shivers at your touch. 

“Is that a no?” Rosie moans when you pinch her nipples. 

You remove your hands, reaching for the hem of your shirt before throwing it somewhere off to the side. You rip the shirt off her body before slotting yourself in between her legs, pressing most of your weight on top of her. 

“I guess I have to ask,” You start peppering her jaw with kisses, “Do you want to be disappointed?” 

Rosie moans as you gently suck on her sweet spot, smirking against her skin as her hips roll against your crotch. Your cock twitches, but you don’t let your control slip that easily. 

“How-how would I be disappointed?” Rosie tilts her head back, granting you more access as you continue leaving marks along her neck. 

“You’d be comparing them to me,” You thrust against her, just so she could feel what she’s doing to you. 

“Doubtful,” Rosie’s hand slips underneath your waistband, taking hold of your cock as she strokes you. 

“I know you would,” You whisper against her ear, “You wouldn’t cum, I know that for sure.”

“What makes you so confident?” Her grip tightens, a groan falling from your lips. 

“Maybe cause you’re mine,” You nip at her ear, grounding your hips against hers. Her legs wrap around your waist, an all too familiar move that has you rutting into her, mimicking exactly what you were going to do to her. 

“Yours?” 

“Mine,” You tear the shirt over her head, whimpering at her hand leaving you. You tug her shorts down to see her bare pussy, wet and glistening under the low light of your room. You salivate, but tuck those thoughts away for later because you need to get inside her more than anything right now. 

“Better remind me,” Rosie sighs, breath stuttering, as she stares at the obvious bulge in between her legs. “I could probably walk outside and someone would wanna fuck me.”

Your control snaps, shoving your sweats to free your cock. You miss the gasp falling from her lips, but you hone in as you aim your cock at her entrance. 

“Absolutely not,” You snap your hips forward, giving her no time to adjust to the ruthless pace you set on her body. “Only I could do this.”

You spread her legs wider, watching her eyes roll back. Her hips meet every thrust, taking you just like she knows how to. Her long drawn out moans quickly turn into high pitched screams that ring in your ears. 

“Baby,” Rosie brings one hand in between her legs, furiously rubbing her clit as her walls clamp onto your length. “You fuck me so—fuck.” 

Your earlier irritation bleeds away, suddenly feeling the need to make sure Rosie doesn’t forget exactly who makes her feel this good. 

You fill her to the hilt, groaning into the crook of her neck as her pussy contracts around your cock. 

“Baby,” Rosie pants, chest heaving against yours as she tries to move. Your hips have her pinned against the bed, so it’s futile as she writhes underneath you. “Don’t stop, please.” She breathes out, her hand still moving in between you, creating a delicious friction. 

You want her to beg, but with the way she’s squeezing your cock like her life depended on it has you giving in 

“Tell me.”

“Yours-please, please,” Rosie shakes her head, the pressure in between her legs growing. 

“Mine?” You draw your hips back, leaving the head of your cock in. 

“Fuck, yours,” Rosie screams when you slam into her body, hooking her legs over your shoulders as you resume fucking her with everything you’ve got. 

You’re usually not this rough, but a more primal, baser, need takes over. She yelled at you for something that was completely out of your control. Could you have handled it differently? Sure, but she could have handled it differently too. 

You’ve spent enough time with Rosie to know she acts like this to rile you up. You honestly have no problem putting her in her place, especially if it’s in between her legs. 

Rosie’s orgasm rips through her body, back arching suddenly as her hands hold you close. Her nails dig into your skin, nails scratching down your back, which you know will leave marks. 

“Again,” You command, fucking her thoroughly as her pussy spasms around your cock. 

Rosie’s mouth opens, but no sound comes out as her lips form a perfect ‘O’ before a gush of wetness drenches you. 

You pull out quickly, deciding that she doesn’t get to feel you cum inside her—at least right now. It takes you no more than four pumps of your cock before you explode over her body. You aim in between her lower lips, making a bigger mess of her as your mind shuts off. 

You’re both gasping for air, but your eyes fixate on the rise and fall of Rosie’s chest. Moving on impulse alone, you lower yourself, peppering her chest with your lips. One hand lazily drapes over your neck, scratching softly as quiet moans leave her body. 

“Okay,” Rosie mumbles after a couple minutes, gently tugging you off. “You made your point. I don’t want anyone else to fuck me.”

“Good,” You roll off of her, but quickly pull her body into yours. 

“No one else can fuck you either,” Rosie musters out as threatening as possible. It falls short because she’s still trying to catch her breath, exhausted. 

“I know,” You kiss her temple. “Only want you anyways.” 

“Good,” She snuggles into your side, slotting a leg in between yours. 

You offer to clean up, but she pulls you tighter, telling you five more minutes. You chuckle, knowing her body well enough that she’s going to pass out. 

“Love you,” You murmur, lips on her skin again because you couldn’t get enough of her. 

“I love you,” Rosie sighs dreamily. 

You hear light snores after a minute, eyes rolling fondly. You sink into the embrace, closing your eyes as well. 

You’ll clean later, content with the woman in your arms, who will—if you had to bet—want to go again. 

--

--

--

[hairmetal666]

Read Part One here

cw: implied child abuse

Eddie's coming over for coffee. Not Eddie with Nancy and Robin or Eddie with the kids. Just Eddie.

They haven't been alone in 9 years and now Eddie is coming over for coffee.

They're friends, of course. After Vecna they didn't have much of a choice, but they've never talked about it--that they used to be something.

After Steve kissed Eddie goodbye for what turned out to be the last time, they didn't see each other again for months and months, except for a devastatingly fleeting moment in the Family Video parking lot. And the next time after that, Eddie's pinning him to the wall of a rickety boathouse, a broken bottle to his throat.

What's going through his mind, his body, at that moment is relief. For days, weeks, months, he ached for Eddie's touch again, and even though he was in danger, he relished in the push of their bodies together. Thought, if this is how he dies, he won't mind going.

But they don't talk about it, about them, because Eddie is on the run and Max is going to die, and they have to save the world, so there's no time. In the aftermath, it's the least of their worries, and now it's been almost a decade and Eddie is coming over for coffee.

The thing is, it's not like Steve has been pining away for a love long lost in the intervening years, and neither has Eddie. They've both had longterm, serious relationships; Steve almost got married. But for Steve...Eddie is the one that's lingered, the one that knocks around his ribcage on late sleepless nights, the one that makes him dream of what might have been. Because Steve truly loved his other partners, but Eddie--nobody will ever compare.

Someone is knocking a rhythm at his front door, and he can't stifle his smile even as his heart runs riot in his chest.

"Hey, man," he says, remarkably nonchalant as he takes Eddie in. Still beautiful, still brimming with energy; his smile wide and dimpled, bouncing on his toes.

"Harrington!" Eddie grabs him into a quick side hug, slapping his back. "Since when do you wear glasses?"

Steve chuckles, touching the horn-rimmed frames. "Oh, god, Robin forced me to get them back in '87? Too many concussions." He touches his forehead. "I usually just wear contacts."

"It's a good look," Eddie says. He's very much not looking at Steve, eyes roaming around the Chicago apartment he's been to many times before.

He watches as Eddie spots the display of his own books, index finger slowly slipping across the spines in a way that makes Steve remember when those same fingers would slide down his spine. He stifles a shiver, turns towards the kitchen.

"So, how's New York? How's the book coming?"

"Livin' the dream." It's not flippant, not like how most people mean it. Eddie leaks genuineness, always has. "The book though...it's a little rough."

Steve sets the coffee maker going, brings fresh pastries and a couple plates over to the table. "I can imagine. It doesn't--it doesn't have to be the same, you know?"

"Yeah, if only I hadn't written three other books leading up to the evil mind wizard," Eddie chuckles. He grabs a croissant and tears it in half. "It'll be alright, Harrington. I'll figure it out. I lived through it the first time, after all."

Steve doesn't remind him that he almost didn't, that they almost didn't. Instead, he pours coffee, listens as Eddie talks about how to fictionalize the worst month of their collective lives.

He splashes milk into Eddie's coffee, taps in three scoops of sugar. He carries it to where Eddie waits, still talking about the logistics of Vecna-slash-Henry-slash-One in his novel, but his words abruptly stop as his hands wrap around the porcelain.

"Steve?"

It's only then that Steve realizes what he's done--made Eddie's coffee like he took it back then, made it without thinking, totally on muscle memory, when the best of his mornings were spent in Eddie's arms.

His cheeks glow crimson and he grips at the back of his neck. "S-sorry." He says. "It--is this still how you take it?"

"Yeah." Eddie's eyes fall from Steve's face, his own cheeks pink. "It's--yeah. Still the same."

"I'm sorry--"

"--Steve, I--"

They don't laugh. They both stop speaking and look at each other, faces still red. Steve thinks there's nothing for it but to get it all out now.

"I'm sorry, Eddie." He takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry I never came back. I'm sorry I didn't explain why. I'm just--really, really sorry."

Eddie's eyes are hooked on the table top, fingers twisting and twisting his coffee mug. "Can I--why? I waited and you--why?"

Steve swallows, but it gets stuck in his throat, and now he's the one who can't look up from his hands.

"My parents got home early," he manages. "My dad, he was waiting for me. I guess one of the neighbors thought it best to tell them who I'd been spending my time with."

Silence falls over the table, and he chances a look up at the man across from him, the one whose knuckles bite into his lips, whose eyes shine with unshed tears.

"You should've called me. You should've--you could've stayed with us. We would've kept you safe."

"Eddie, I couldn't. I physically couldn't," the admission costs him so much.

"Steve," Eddie chokes on his name, voice nothing but anguish. "Did anyone--You could've--you were all alone."

He shakes his head. "Robin knew. She snuck through my window to take care of me, but my parents--I couldn't--" This time the words really won't come. "We made a plan. We started that job at Family Video, and we saved up our money."

Now, Eddie's face is creased with grief. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry."

Steve shakes his head, smiles despite the wreckage around his heart. "You have nothing to be sorry for, baby. I left you with no explanation. I broke your heart. And--and--" He thinks, what does it hurt to say it at this point. "I love you. I love you so much. I convinced myself you were better off without me, that we could have a clean break and you could get over me."

Eddie's hands cover his face, muffle the sob that slips out. "Get over you?" He whispers. "There's never been one like you, sweetheart."

He slides around the table to kneel at Eddie's side. "Hey." Deep brown eyes stare back at him, Eddie's face wet with tears. "It's always you, Ed. Always. I didn't want to say anything, if you had moved on, but--"

There's not really any transition from them talking to them kissing; Steve slips into it like he did all those years ago, when he first asked for Eddie's kiss. Their mouths slot together, their bodies fit like they always used to, perfect puzzle pieces. Steve's knees give out at the first brush of Eddie's tongue, and they collapse into a heap on the kitchen floor. Even then, they don't part.

Eventually, Steve does break the embrace, face flushed and hair a disaster, glasses hanging off one ear. "Okay, trying to be responsible here. Should we take a pause, go on a date first? Slow down?"

"Nine years isn't slow enough?" Eddie's pupils are blown, hair frizzed around his head.

"When you put it that way," Steve can't help but laugh. "I just want to do right by you, Eddie. Make up for--everything."

Eddie grins down at him, that sunshine beam smile where his dimples pop. "Tell you what, how bout you take me to bed now, and I'll let you take me on a date tomorrow?"

"Oh, you'll let me?" Steve rakes a hand through Eddie's mane of hair. "I don't think you'll have any choice."

"You sure about that, Stevie?" Their lips are so close, the brush with every word.

"Uh-huh," Steve's having trouble keeping his eyes focused, overwhelmed by the sheer force of Eddie Munson. "Never letting you go again, Ed."

Surprise! Part 2! I genuinely had no intention on doing a follow-up, but so many of you asked so nicely that it gave me this idea. Sorry if I miss anyone in the tag list and thank you for reading! @everywherenothere @tiny-enthusiast @emma-elsa-0000 @fuzzyduxk @moonythepluviophile @anaibis @rhapsodyinalto @bunk12bear @tillystealeaves @velocitytimes2 @s-trawberryv-eins @marklee-blackmore @ignoremyworld @its-a-me-a-morgan @goodolefashionedloverboi @starman-jpg @djohawke @adaydreamaway08

[essentiallyleaf]

Ya know what , I'll give you an idea

As a commercial pilot how bout a kink "plane sex"

And pls write Rosé with this kink

day 15. body worship. with. rosé.

1268 words.

tags.

kinktober ‘23, idol x male reader, body worship, lots of kissing and licking, feet stuff, abs stuff, oral sex, fingering, squirting, minor plane stuff, the dialogue just goes places idk, hold onto your suspension of disbelief for dear life, blasphemy(?).

notes.

this is barely even related to the ask, isn’t it? sorry, icyphilosopher, i really am (thank you so much for the inspiration though). well, my excuse is i watched Queen & Slim (it was alright, the soundtrack might be the best part. that and Daniel Kaluuya) and felt like crime today.

The private jet has barely taken off when Rosé starts taking her clothes off, starting from the black heels, then proceeding with the black cropped blazer, the high-waisted black shorts, along with the belt and the chains attached to them, the polka dot black shirt, and finishing with the black stockings and her black underwear. She puts them all in a black trash bag and throws herself on the beige leather sofa face first, completely naked.

“Fuck this ‘No fires on the plane’ rule.” She complains into the beige pillow.

“I mean, if you want to burn them now and cause a fire, making the jet collapse on itself and getting us buried on the bottom of the northern Pacific, go ahead.” You reply nonchalantly as you take a sip of vodka while sitting cross-legged on one of the beige armchairs.

“Honestly, compared to the prospect of a ten-hour flight with you, that doesn’t even sound that bad”

It’s Rosé’s habit to burn clothes, phones, cars, (people,) anything that can be linked to her in a meaningful way, after every job. This time it was a fairly straightforward drug trade with this Yakuza syndicate in Osaka: give the talcum powder, take the money, go home. The road was somewhat bumpy and a couple heads had to pop, but what can you do. Oh, and the getting naked in front of you part, that was a thing way before you two started fucking.

You stand up from your seat and duck next to the couch as she turns her head towards you. Start caressing her smooth, long blonde hair as you admire her graceful features. How could such a cold, brutal criminal look so angelic?

“Are you in a hurry?”

“Leave no trace.” She recites her mantra matter-of-factly.

“You think someone’s on our trail?”

You lay on top of her and start kissing her shoulders, from the left, then move her hair to kiss her neck, to the right, and back a couple times.

“Someone’s always on your trail.” Your kisses start heading down her back, each a little wetter than the previous. “You know how it always ends with people like us, right?”

You think you hear Rosé’s voice break for a split second, but you could be wrong. Place your hands on her shoulders and start slowly making little circles with your thumbs as you keep traveling down.

“We get greedy and scared and die sad and alone?”

“We always trust one person too many”

As your trail of kisses gets to her lower back, right above the curve of her ass, you flip her body around. Bend her legs on her chest, then start massaging each foot with one of your hands, going from the middle of her soles, to her heels, to the balls of her feet, untangling her muscle fibers all the way through. You hear her humming in the meantime.

“So? Would you stop living your life for that?”

“I would try my best not to end my life because of that.” You bring her feet to your mouth and start pecking her toes, then travel down the inside of her feet and up again kissing her soles. “Plus, it gives me a sense of peace, of liberation”

“Ashes to ashes?”

“In that analogy, I would be… God?”

Take a long lick from her heel to the ball of her foot, ending by wrapping your lips around her big toe and licking all around it.

“Do you feel like one?”

“I don’t think God sees himself like we see him” She moves her other foot towards your mouth to signal you to switch, which you do, as your hands reach towards her small breasts and start softly playing with her rosy nipples. “Powerful men need people to adore them to feel immortal. Immortals don’t need our attention to be powerful”

“You think God is a woman?”

“I think God is a depressed fuck.”

You let out a chuckle. Then lower her knees again and place yourself between them to start kissing and licking her wonderful, sculpted abs. Your right hand almost instinctively starts lightly rubbing her already wet outer lips, your left grabbing her plump asscheek.

“What a short couple billion years alone in the button room could do to ya”

“But honestly, working on the wrong side of the law… I think it’s hard not to feel like one” She starts panting a little in between words.

“Ego?” Your mouth slowly travels down her lower stomach while your fingers play with her nub.

“Just, pure facts. I could kill a man that crosses my path at any time, and I have. Mmmmh. We just, own their lives. The decision to let them live on, or to end them, right then and there. It’s all ours. Yeahh- How do you not feel all-powerful when you have that?”

It becomes hard for her to complete a sentence without any moans in between.

“Does it matter?”

“W-What?”

Rosé’s focus is probably directed away from the conversation, and towards the feeling of your fingers opening her lips wide and your tongue taking one long lick from the bottom of her slit up to her sensitive clit.

“I don’t know them. Are decisions over the lives of people you don’t care about even worth making?”

You take several shorter licks around her slit, side to side, up and down, once in a while penetrating her hole slightly.

“What do y-youh care about?”

As her moans become longer and more frequent, her sentences become simpler and shorter.

“Right now, taking my money home”

Your tongue digs deep into her pussy, you try to reach every corner and crevice of her heat with it, and her whimpers tell you you’re doing a pretty good job at it.

“And th-en, what?”

Your mouth detaches from her right as she sounds like she’s going to give in. You get on your knees and pause for a second, looking at the empty floor of the plane. 

“...I don’t know, a legacy?”

“Villains have no legacy, they only leave bloody paper and hate behind them”

You get back down to face her, staring right down Rosé’s deep brown orbs. Your fingers return to her lower lips, and two of them make their way into her slippery walls, drawing a loud groan off of her. You start pumping in and out of her at an ever increasing pace.

“Love. I want someone to come back home to, to be there, waiting for me, to heal my wounds.” She’s now moaning right in your face, her pitch getting higher and higher, signaling her impending high, but her eyes are wide open and locked on yours. “To be able to spend time with, in silence, without it feeling awkward, not needing to worry about the future, just looking at her in the eyes, and, being in love.”

A few final pumps and Rosé starts repeatedly contracting around you, a stream of unholy water covering your entire hand and wrist in a profane coating, only a deep, tongue-filled kiss muting her screams as she finally can’t keep her eyes open anymore. You close yours with her as her arms wrap around your neck. The kiss lasts far longer than the already lengthy while she takes to recover from her strong orgasm. As both of you stare into each other’s pupils again, you’re the first to talk.

“How do you know when you’ve found what you’re looking for?”

“I don’t know. I think I’ll start from, looking at the junk I’ve collected on my way, before burning it”

-

footnotes.

god is a journey. progressively, leaf.

[justabrunettewhowrites-stuff]

'Lovely'

Clarisse La Rue x Chubby!Fem!Reader hc's

A/N:ILYYY & more hc's soon 💞

So I feel like Clarisse would totally have this tough exterior, but deep down, she's a total softie for her girlfriend, like AHAHSHDH, who would've thought?

I feel like she would always deny being all mushy, but secretly, she's the kind of person who low-key gets jealous if someone else talks to her girl.Like, "Back off, she's mine!" vibes,you know?

She deff calls you names, like "mama/mamas" or "dummy" but in a playful way.

I feel like Clarisse would totally drag her girl into training sessions, being all like, "We gotta stay sharp,mamas. Can't have you getting soft on me." But deep down, it's just an excuse to spend more time together.

But imagine Clarisse getting protective during Capture the Flag.Like, she's a total beast on the battlefield, and if anyone even thinks about targeting her chubby girlfriend, they better watch out. "Touch her, and you'll regret it, losers."

She deff calls you... "Her Battle Buddy" or something like that. I mean, come on, it's Clarisse – everything is a battle, even love.

She deff has a secret stash of cute couple photos in her cabin, but she'll flat-out deny it if anyone asks. "What? No way. That's not mine." But like, you catch her looking at them when she thinks no one's around.

I feel like Clarisse would totally surprise her girl with handmade weapons, pretending like it's just another day. "Yeah, I was bored, so I made you this dagger. Don't get all sappy about it."

Honestly,I feel like she would have this thing where she insists on being the big spoon, but she'd grumble about it like, "Ugh, fine. You're lucky I even like holding you." But secretly, she loves it.

I feel like Clarisse would totally get all flustered if someone teased her about her girlfriend, but she'd cover it up with her tough-girl act. "Shut up! She's not that great. Stop looking at me like that."

OMG, she'd be the first to defend her girl,like if someone makes a comment about her weight, Clarisse would go full-on rage mode. "Say that again, and I'll make sure you regret it for the rest of your life!" And she'd obviously kick their ass into next week.

She deff has a special spot by the campfire where she and her girlfriend hang out, but she'd deny having a "spot." "We just sit here 'cause it's not too crowded. It's not a spot or anything."

I feel like Clarisse would totally steal her girl's hoodies and act like it's just because she's cold. "You got too many of these things, might as well put 'em to good use." But deep down, she loves the scent of her on the hoodie.

OMG, she'd have this signature eye-roll whenever someone tries to give relationship advice. "Please, I've got this under control. I don't need your sappy wisdom." But secretly, she low-key appreciates the advice.

She deff has a playlist of love songs hidden away, but if anyone finds out, she'd be like, "What? No way, those songs just happened to be on when I was training!" But you catch her humming them sometimes.

I feel like Clarisse would totally take her girl on surprise late-night walks around camp, acting like it's just to check on security. "Gotta make sure no monsters are sneaking in." But really, it's just about spending time together.

DHSKDJ, imagine Clarisse accidentally leaving little notes with cheesy messages around her girlfriend's bunk. "Just happened to drop this here. Don't read too much into it." But she secretly hopes her girl finds and appreciates them.

She definitely uses you as weigh when training and shows off how strong she is and if you tell her you think you're too heavy for her she'd be all like "Shut up,idiot!You're a lightweight comparing to what I usually lift!" But she'd secretly try to make you feel better about yourself.

She 100% uses your chest or your thighs as pillows when sleeping,and she enjoys wrapping her arms around your waist and stomach.It gives her a nice feeling and she would get all pissy in the morning if you left during the night or moved away.She just loves her hugs and cuddles! Besides,you'd be her fav pillow.

A/N:Honestly I feel like Clarisse would deff be like 'the bigger,the better' and she'd love you no matter what size you are 🥹

[beomiracles]

ᴛᴜʙᴀᴛᴜ ᴀꜱ ꜱᴇᴄᴏɴᴅ ʟᴇᴀᴅ ꜱʏɴᴅʀᴏᴍᴇ ੈ✩‧₊˚

DREAM RECALL "'Second male lead syndrome' is where the second male lead is or seems infinitely superior to the male lead, and you curse the main character for choosing the wrong guy."

pairings non idol!txt x gn!reader warnings yeonjun is kinda mean, beomgyu is pervert (I can't help myself when I write for him), beomgyu's hints at sexual themes.

#serene adds ✎... it's been forever since I wrote for all five like this hehe. this one's lowkey a little sad... :>

ʏᴇᴏɴᴊᴜɴ ᴀꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʜᴏᴏᴅ ‘ʙᴜʟʟʏ’ who you had sworn off years ago due to his persistent snarky comments and mean pranks. In your eyes he was nothing but a bully and you did everything in your might to keep your distance. 

Yeonjun, who had only been a small boy with a crush on a small girl; now finds himself hopelessly watching you from afar as you laugh with your friends. Despite years passing and the fact that you were both grown up by this point, your grudge seemed to persist. 

Yeonjun who doesn’t know how to express his feelings for you so he chooses to pull pranks instead, hoping it will catch your attention. Not understanding why you get upset with him and ignore him when he passes by; it only makes his comments grow nastier. 

Yeonjun who trips you over in the hallways, yet hesitating — wanting to reach out a hand and help you back up again. Yeonjun who tells you that your shirt is dirty when he actually wants to tell you that blue looks nice on you. 

Yeonjun who calls your boyfriend a down-grade from your last, when he wants nothing more but to be the one you call your own. 

ꜱᴏᴏʙɪɴ ᴀꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴏʏꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ’ꜱ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ who always seemed to hang around your boyfriend whenever you were present. Your boyfriend who always explained it as it being a ‘guy thing’. 

Soobin who knew that it was wrong to have a crush on his best friend’s girlfriend. So he never made a move. 

Soobin who knew that he stood no chance against his best friend. Yeonjun was confident and charismatic, easily swooning you with every other sentence. All the while Soobin has to rehearse his next words before even daring to address you. 

Soobin who gets flustered under your stare, and you don’t understand why he insists on hanging out with you and your boyfriend as he rarely speaks. Yeonjun who explains it as him being shy — it only makes Soobin feel even more guilty, his best friend oblivious to his true feelings. 

“You listening, Binnie?” Your sweet voice makes his knees weak and Soobin has to blink a couple of times before realizing that he hadn’t heard a word of what you had just said; too lost in your eyes, the way your soft lashes subconsciously moved as you spoke.  “Uh-huh”, he splutters, earning a giggle from you, Soobin who loved your laugh.

ʙᴇᴏᴍɢʏᴜ ᴀꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴏᴜɴɢᴇʀ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴏʏꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ who’s gaze always seemed to linger whenever you were around. His brother would often bring you over, and you would always so politely greet him, making his heart flutter like a little school boy.  

Beomgyu who loved the way your eyes would crinkle up as you smiled at his jokes. He would always make excuses to pass by his brother’s room whenever you were over, earning quite the scolding from his elder sibling. In the end it was always worth it. 

Beomgyu who doesn’t understand why you had chosen his older brother over him. His brother wasn’t twice as funny or good looking, yet he was the one who’s cheek you pressed soft kisses to whenever you could. 

Beomgyu who doesn’t know if he loves it or hates it when you stay over. The sounds of your sweet moans as his brother has his way with you in the room next to his own –  keeps him up at night. And he knows it’s wrong, the way he tries to peek at you whenever he thinks you aren’t looking; he can’t help it. 

Beomgyu who always got compared to his older brother, desperately wishing to have everything he had, most of all he wanted his girlfriend. Beomgyu who hopes that one day you’ll see what’s been right in front of you all along. 

ᴛᴀᴇʜʏᴜɴ ᴀꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴜᴛᴏʀ who helped your grades go from D’s to B’s. Taehyun who usually never offered to tutor, despite being the top student in all of his classes, but when you came along, there had been no question about it. 

Taehyun, who always waits for you after class so that you can study together. He doesn't mind when you don’t get it right away, in fact he likes explaining things to you, even if he has to do so over and over; only to see the way your eyes light up in joy as you finally understand. 

Taehyun who loves when you ask questions about the subject he’s helping you with. Sometimes he even messes up, too lost in the way you chew on your pencil or the way your painted nails itch at your rosy cheek. 

Taehyun whose mood turns sour as your friends approach, whisking your attention from him in milliseconds. Heart aching when you tell him that you would have to leave earlier because you had a date. 

Taehyun who wishes you would ask to hangout outside of school, outside of tutoring. Taehyun who wishes you would ask questions about him and not the boring equations you tried to solve. Taehyun who wishes to be more than just your tutor.

ʜᴜᴇɴɪɴɢᴋᴀɪ ᴀꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴏʏ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ who never seemed to understand the appeal you saw in the guys you chose to date. Who also never wrapped his head around the range of emotions they caused you to undergo. 

“He’s such a dick!” You groan, slamming your phone down on the table as you lean back in your chair. Huening frowns, yesterday you had told him that he was perfect, you seemed to change your mind a lot. 

“I’m sure he’ll come around” Kai reassures, though he secretly wishes he wouldn’t. You give him an uncertain look, “you think so?” Your best friend nods, “you’re gorgeous y/n, he would be a fool not to.” 

"Oh, stop it!” you giggle, ignorant to the fact that he had meant every word. Hueningkai who wishes you would see yourself through his eyes, perhaps then you would realize his true feelings for you. Instead he’s forced to watch from the sidelines as guys sweep you off your feet. 

He gives you a small smile, cheeks reddening as you wrap your arms around him in a tight hug. “You’re such a great friend, Kai” you sigh against his neck, his heart sinks, friend, that’s all he was to you. 

Hueningkai who pats your back and dries your tears after yet another unsuccessful date. Hueningkai who listens to you vent about the guy you’re currently talking to, wishing more than anything to be in his shoes. Hueningkai who’s too much of a coward to ever admit his feelings out loud. 

taglist ✎... @gardnhee @theresawtf @jjklvr9 @binniebakery @beomies-world @yunjinsbbg @ninoshome1 (if your tag is not working please check your settings to make sure that your blog is not hidden!)

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[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

I never wanted this, but maybe it's not such a bad thing part 3 (Preath x Reader)

It's been a long couple of weeks, but I finally finished part 3! This is not edited so mind any mistakes. I'm not sure if I'll do another part yet, let me know what you think. There's a bit of a time jump at the end. I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Smut

Part one, Part two

Words: 6.1K

As Tobin went to lie down next to Christen, I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her down in the middle and peppering her cheek with kisses. Tobin giggled, pecking my lips, "This isn't our normal order."

"Gotta spice things up occasionally. Do you want to come surfing with me tomorrow Tobes? I have a spare board and wetsuit, we just have to stop by my house. Maybe the three of us could get brunch after?"

Christen nudged Tobin when she took a while to answer. I appreciated what she was doing, but tonight was a big step already. I didn't want her to feel pressured. "You know what, I would love that. You can't judge how well I do though, it's been a while since I've been."

"Can I come watch?"

"You wanna watch us with our wet suits down Chris? I know Tobin enjoyed it once upon a time."

Tobin went red, hiding her face against Christens shoulder. Christen laughed, patting Tobin's shoulder, "You know what, I don't even blame her. There's no denying you have great abs."

"It's for the ladies, two in particular. You might know them, dark haired, insanely beautiful. Ring a bell?"

Tobin finally looked at me again, smirk growing, "Oh you mean those marine buddies of yours we met the other day?"

"Exactly." I kissed them both, soft and slow, "You two are the most beautiful people I've ever met. And I know people just say that, I know there are subjectively more attractive people out there, but to me, there's no competition, no one compares to you guys."

Tobin kissed me, filled with the same passion as the first time, "You're not so bad yourself."

Christens eyebrows furrowed,  "Agreed. What's gotten into you? I'm not complaining, I've just never seen you so sappy."

"I'm just happy. I've been in a lot of relationships in my time, some great, some not, but I've never felt this way before. We're soulmates, I know it's kinda the whole concept behind it, I just don't believe that's the only thing that influences this. You know I was terrified coming into this, that I would only feel the soulmate connection, nothing more. So yeah, I'm happy that's not the case, because you two are amazing. Sorry for being sappy, I'm just trying to be more honest. It's not always easy for me, I want us to last though so I'm trying." 

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with you being sappy Y/n/n. It's just different so I got a bit worried maybe something was wrong. We know it's hard for you to talk about feelings, but we're always here for you. Even if it's not always good feelings, you can always come to us, even if it's just one of us. We will never judge you or make you feel like you can't talk about it."

I fought back the tears, in all my relationships no one had ever cared about me as much as they did, I had never felt like I could open up as I did with them. I mean what I had already told them more than I had with anyone, Ali and Ash included, "Thank you. It works both way, anything you guys need, I'm here for you."

The movie had just finished, I knew it was late, but looking at my phone confirmed it. I kissed them both before reluctantly sitting up on the side of the bed. "It's getting late, I should head back to my room." 

A hand on my arm stopped me, turning around I found Tobin looking up at me with a small, unsure smile, "You could stay?"

"Are you sure? You don't have to push yourself Tobin. We've already made a lot of progress today. I don't want you to move too quickly and be uncomfortable."

"I know it's quick, but honestly tonight has been amazing and I don't want you to go. We would love if you stayed if you maybe wanted to."

"I um, I don't want to wake you guys up in the middle of the night with my nig-"

Christen came back from the bathroom, kissing me before I could finish, "We don't care about that Y/n, if you have a nightmare then we'll be here to help you through it. This is part of being with you and we're okay with that."

"Okay, let me go brush my teeth and get changed. I'll be back in a minute."

It took me a long time to fall asleep, the worry of having a nightmare and waking them up running through my mind. Despite what they said, I didn't want want them to deal with it on the first night we stayed together. It was still embarrassing that after a year, I still had nightmares. 

To my complete surprise, I didn't have a nightmare. I had had one every night since camp started which was typical when staying in an unfamiliar place, but with them I didn't. It wasn't the longest sleep, but I had slept the best I had in a long time. Christen and Tobin were still asleep when I woke up so I kissed their cheeks and slipped out of bed to get coffee from down the street. Apparently everyone wanted coffee this morning so it had taken longer then anticipated. When I got back Tobin was the only one awake, she looked sad until she actually looked up at me. I guess it had looked like I had just left them. I gave her a long, slow kiss before handing her the coffee. 

"Good morning beautiful. I'm sorry I should have messaged you, the line was longer than I anticipated."

"Good morning baby, it's okay, I'm just glad you came back."

"There's no where else I'd rather be. We're going surfing remember."

Tobin pulled me closer so I was straddling her waist, "I admit I was scared you had just left us."

"Never. I promise if I was ever going and not coming back I will let you know. Do you want me to let you know even if I'm just popping out for coffee?"

She avoided my eyes, cheeks turning red, "Maybe, just for a little while at least. I'm sorry, I ju-"

I cupped Tobin's cheek, kissing her forehead, nose, cheeks and lips, "Don't apologise Tobin, if it makes you more comfortable then I'm 100% okay with it. All it takes is 2 seconds to send a text." 

Christen rolled over, sleepy smirk in place, "What's going on here?"

I brushed a piece of hair out of Tobin's face, before leaning down and pecking Christens lips, "Just some morning reassurance. I got you coffee."

---

Sloane ran up to me, cuddling into me as I picked her up. It had been a while since we had proper cuddles. At home we always end the night with cuddles before she went to bed. It was a routine I've missed. Ashlyn and Ali hugged me as well, before Ashlyn spoke up, "Hey Y/n/n, do you wanna get lunch with us today? It's been a while since we hung out. We miss you."

Guilt hit me instantly. I hadn't really seen them much recently with all my time going to Tobin and Christen. I also felt bad because they didn't know about us yet. Normally, I told Ash everything, but I had been so caught up in the newness of my relationship, I hadn't told them. Tobin, Christen and I had lunch plans, I couldn't say no to Ash though, I guess I had some making up to do, "I would love to."

"Awesome, meet you here in an hour."

I went straight to Christen and Tobin's room, nerves starting to rise as I waited for them to answer. I didn't know how they would react to me cancelling last minute. Christen answered with a wide smile,  "We really need to get you a key."

"Uh yeah."

Tobin eyed me suspiciously, "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry."

"What for? What happened?"

"Um I need to cancel lunch. I'm sorry. Of course I wanted to have lunch with you, but then Ash asked me to have lunch with them because they miss me and I haven't actually spent any time with them lately and I actually really miss them and I feel like a bad sister and a bad girlfri-"

The rambling died as Christens lips connected with mine, "Y/n, take a breath. It's okay, we understand. Ash is your sister, you need to spend time with her. We can hang out after."

"Are you sure?"

Tobin was the one this time to take my hand and kiss me, "Yes, go have fun with your family. We expect to see you tonight though."

I pulled them down on the bed with me, both of them cuddling into my sides, "Wouldn't miss it for the world. I've got just under an hour until I meet them so we have some cuddle time."

Tobin cupped my cheek, lips gliding across mine, filled with passion and want. Her tongue ran across my bottom lip, slipping in as my lips parted. We fought for dominance with me quickly winning. Tobin pulled me on top of her, hand slipping under my shirt, resting on my lower back. After a few minutes of making out, I remembered Christen was there and slowly pulled away, breathing heavy. 

"Sorry Chris."

Christen just smiled, guiding me over to her instead, "Don't apologise, I don't mind a good show every now and then. Can I get in on the action though?"

I hovered just above her, lips brushing hers, "I suppose that could be acceptable."

I lost track of how long we were making out, but when hands started wandering, I reluctantly pulled away, "We need to stop because I need to leave soon and if we keep going I don't think I'll be able to stop."

Christen groaned as I settled between them again, "I hate that you're right."

Even though I was missing out on time with Christen and Tobin, I was glad that I agreed to lunch. It hadn't hit me how much I missed them until I was sitting with them, colouring a picture with Sloane as I talked with Ali and Ashlyn. We made it maybe half an hour before Ashlyn asked the question I was fully expecting, "So what's going on with you lately? You've been absent lately, is everything okay?"

"Uh yeah, honestly everything is amazing. I need to tell you something, I didn't mean to hide it from you, I just got distracted I guess. Christen, Tobin and I are together."

Ali looked confused, "Wait, as in girlfriends? I thought you weren't interested in the whole soulmate thing?"

"I'm not, but we talked that day in the elevator about getting to know each other before I shut it down completely. The more I got to know them, the more I fell for them. I've never felt this way before. I haven't had a nightmare in almost two weeks since I've been staying with them. I get so giddy when I'm around them, like I never want to leave."

"That's amazing Y/n. We're so happy for you."

"You're not mad I didn't tell you?"

Ash hugged me tightly, kissing my cheek, "Of course not, it's new, exciting, you got sucked in. I don't know if you remember, but I was the same way with Ali. I'm really glad you're happy Y/n, you deserve it. Even if it is with the soul mates you never wanted."

"Yeah well, they're not so bad after all. Tobin still has some worries that I'll change my mind, but she's trying and I'm doing my best to reassure her. I hate it that she doubts me, but she's worth it. Christen is pretty much what you see is what you get, but there's a side of Tobin that no one else sees. The soft, loving, shy, somewhat insecure side. I love that side of her and I want to be privy to it for as long as she'll let me."

We spent a few hours hanging out, eating and playing at the park before the kids started getting grumpy so we made our way back to the hotel. I went back to Christens and Tobin's room where we spent the rest of the night watching movies and cuddling.  

---

Camp had finally come to an end, meaning by the end of the day, all three of us would be in a different part of the country until the next camp. It was only just over a month, but I already knew I was going to miss them. I hugged them tightly, trying to keep my tears away. It wasn't working though, "I'm going to miss you."

Christen sniffed, hiding her face further against my chest, "I wish we could stay together."

I held her tightly, hands running along her back as she cried. My own tears slowly running down my cheeks. Over the last few weeks, I had gotten used to being around them, I loved being with them. The last thing I wanted was to be away from them. I know there was facetime and it was only going to be a month, but it wasn't the same as falling asleep next to them, cuddling with them, being around them. There was also a slight fear of something changing. We had only been together for a few weeks, what if the distance so early on changed something, affected our relationship. I tried my best to push that thought away, instead focusing on making the most of the time with my girls. I reached out pulling Tobin back into the hug, holding her just as tight as Christen. We cuddled on the bed with me in the middle, both of them holding me tightly.

Tobin had been quiet all morning, and I was starting to get worried. Christen had popped out so it gave me the chance to talk to her. I had a feeling I knew what was wrong. Despite the progress we had made, I knew she still worried that I would change my mind. I hated that she still worried, but I would keep doing everything I could to make her worries go away, even if it took a while.

"Hey, what's going on Toby? You've been quieter than normal today."

"My thoughts are going crazy right now."

I sat down on the ground in front of her, pulling her so she was sitting in my lap, "You have no idea how much I'm going to miss you Tobin. Just the idea of being away from you hurts. You can expect messages and facetimes every day, you'll be sick of me by the end of it. There'll be no going back though, you're stuck with me now."

"It's a good thing I don't mind then isn't it?"

"Definitely. You can call me anytime, I can't promise to always answer straight away, but I'll do my very best."

"Ditto. Thank you Y/n."

"What for?"

"For being so understanding. Most people would have ran for the hills if their girlfriend doubted them as much as I do you, but you've stuck by me."

"Hey, while I hate that you still doubt me sometimes, I understand why you feel the way you do. I'm serious about us so I'm willing to provide as much reassurance as needed for as long as needed. A bit of distance isn't going to change that."

---

Today had been crazy. Between practice, media and team bonding, I was only able to reply to maybe one or two texts from Christen and Tobin. I had made sure to tell them I was busy, but it didn't make me feel any better. As soon as I got home and showered, I made sure they were awake before facetiming. It was 2am and I was exhausted, but talking to them made it worth it. Tobin was the only one awake, her tired self answering almost immediately.

You look tired Toby.

I am.

You should get some sleep.

I wanted to talk to you first, I missed you today.

I missed you too baby. I'm sorry I couldn't reply much today, it was hectic.

It's okay, in our job it happens. Thank you for calling, even though you look like you're about to pass out. I know it's late, but have you been sleeping okay?

Our facetimes are my favourite part of the day, I wouldn't ever miss it if I could help it. Sometimes, the nightmares are back, not as frequent, but they're there and I miss cuddling with you two.

Aww baby, I'm sorry. Two weeks and we'll be back together. We can talk to coach about us sharing a room this time if you might want to? I mean you stay with us anyway, might as well not take up another room. 

I would love that

We talked for a bit longer before the yawns wouldn't stop and we decided it was best to get some sleep.

Can you stay on the phone with me?

Of course. Goodnight Tobin, I love you

My eyes widened at the admission that slipped out. Yes it was true, I had fallen in love with them both, but it wasn't supposed to come out yet. I had intended to wait longer before telling them because it felt too soon to have those feelings. I fought the urge to hang up and hide as a grin slowly appeared on Tobin's face.

I love you Y/n. Do you uh feel this way about Chris as well?

I do, I'm in love with you both. It wasn't supposed to come out this early though. Do you think I should tell her? 

Definitely, I won't be able to stop myself from saying it and I'm almost certain she'll feel the same way about you.

Okay, get some sleep and hopefully we can squeeze in a call with Chris in the morning

I was woken up by talking on the other end of the phone. It wasn't just Tobin. I peeked at the phone, seeing Christen had joined. It was 10:30am meaning it was only 7:30am for them. 

You're awake early

Good morning sleepy head, I woke up when Chris joined

Good morning baby, you looked like you slept well

I think knowing Tobin was there made it easier.

I'm sorry I missed the call last night

It's okay Chris. I need to tell you something

What is it?

I accidently let it slip out to Tobin last night, but you should know that I love you

A wide grin appeared instantly as she replied with no hesitation, I love you Y/n

---

Ashlyn, Ali and the kids had already left for the next camp having decided to spend an extra couple of days. A mini holiday of sorts. They had asked if I wanted to come, but I had some last minute work to finish. It had only been just over a month, but I was at the point where I really missed my girls. I had never expected to miss them as much as I did, but it was hitting me hard and I was just down. I didn't want to bring them down with my mood. I hadn't heard from Christen and Tobin today, besides a good morning text so I was drowning my emotions in work. 

The doorbell rang loudly throughout the house. I was tempted to ignore it, but decided against it and threw the door open, freezing when I saw the two girls I had been missing like crazy. When I snapped out of it, my arms wrapping around them both tightly. I sunk into their touch, pulling them closer when one of them tried to pull away. I didn't want to let them go yet. 

"I missed you so much. What are you doing here?"

"We had a few days off before camp and really just wanted to see you. I know a few days would have made much of a difference, but well we missed you Y/n."

I kissed them both soft and slow, savoring the feeling of their lips, "I'm glad you're here."

We cuddled on my bed for a while before Christen volunteered to get dinner while I finished up some work with Tobin cuddled into my side. It didn't take long to finish the work that needed doing tonight. Once I put my laptop down, I pulled Tobin onto my lap, kissing her softly, "I missed you two so much Toby. I'm really glad we're back together."

Tobin rest her head against my shoulder, "Us too Y/n. Thank you for all the random facetimes and reassurances. I know it meant a lot of late nights for you."

"Seeing you and Chris is worth endless late nights."

"I love you Y/n."

"I love you too Toby."

Kisses were placed along my neck, a quiet moan escaped as I angled my head to give her more room. Tobin straddled my waist, pushing me back before leaving slightly harder kisses across my jaw and down my throat until she reached my collar bone. I gripped her hips, moaning a little louder this time as she started sucking and scraping my skin with her teeth. "Fuck T-Toby."

I was caught up in the pleasure that I didn't notice that Christen had come back until a second pair of lips attached themselves to my neck. Before I could open my eyes lips attached to mine. I instantly knew it was Christen, "Welcome back Chris."

"How'd you know it was me?"

"You two kiss differently, both just as amazing, but different."

Christen ran her fingers from one collar bone to the other, "I see you two had fun while I was gone."

"Toby how many marks did you leave?"

"Just a few."

"Tobin! Everyone's going to see them."

"I didn't hear you complaining."

I flipped her over, "Paybacks a bitch."

"Fuck Y/n," Tobin moaned as I nipped and sucked at her skin, before she pushed my head down closer to her breasts. 

"Are you sure?" I asked looking at both Christen and Tobin.

Tobin nodded quickly while Christen reached over, slipping Tobin's shirt off with an innocent smile. I hooked my hand around the back of her neck, accidently gripping her hair slightly and connected our lips in a lingering kiss. Christen moaned quietly against my lips, making me smirk, "Don't think you're safe Chris. I know this side was you."

Christen just shrugged as I went back to taking in the half naked Tobin currently pinned under me, "You are stunning Tobin."

I lent down, kissing along her bra line leaving dark marks as I went. Tobin was squirming, trying to push my head further down. Before she could, I pulled away, moving over to Christen instead. Tobin whined, but watched closely as I started on Christens neck, leaving a few dark marks before moving down to the top of her t-shirt, waiting for her permission before slipping her shirt over her head, "How did I end up with two absolutely stunning women." 

As I attacked Christens chest, I felt Tobin's hands start to wander, drawing random patterns under my shirt, along my back and stomach getting dangerously close to the waist band of my shorts. I finally pulled away when Tobin tugged at my top. She pulled it off, both of them staring at my abs. Christen reached up, running her fingers down my stomach stopping at my waistband and playing with the draw strings, making me shiver at the feeling. I laced my fingers with hers, kissing the back of her hand.

"Are you sure you guys want to do this? We don't have to go past this." I didn't want them to think that they had to do this if they thought it was too early. Sex wasn't that important to me, I just wanted to be with them. I was also worried that maybe they were only doing this with me out of obligation and that they didn't actually want me as part of it. I had also never done it with 2 people before, I didn't know if I would be any good. It was a big step in our relationship and honestly, I was nervous. 

Christen squeezed my hand, as Tobin pecked my lips, "Baby, you have no idea how much we talked about you during our less than innocent facetime calls when you were busy."

"You have no idea how much we want you. We can wait if you want to, if you're not sure about this."

"Really? Y-you t-talked about me?"

"More than we would admit. We love you Y/n, we are so insanely attracted to you it's not even funny."

"I-I-I've never been with t-two p-people before."

"It's not much different to one, just do what you do, but double it. You'll figure out what we each like pretty easily and we're here with you every step of the way. There's no rush if you're not ready yet Y/n."

I looked at them for a second. I was ridiculously attracted to them. There was no doubt that I wanted them. I smirked, pulling Christen up and tangling my fingers in her hair, tugging lightly as I connected our lips, biting her bottom lip gently as I pulled away, "I think I already know what you like."

Christen moaned, nails digging into my back to pull me against her, "Y-y-you're not w-wrong."

Tobin smirked, running her fingers across Christens back, "It drives her crazy."

My lips attached to Christen neck as I pushed her back, working my way down her chest and reaching round to unclip her bra. My fingers ran dipped between her breasts, trailing beneath them. Her breath hitched, fingers digging into my thighs, "P-please."

I glanced at Tobin, feeling bad about giving all the attention to Christen. Tobin just nodded, moving to take one of Christens nipples into her mouth as I followed suit with the other. Christen gasped hands tangling in both of our hair. It didn't take long for her to turn into a moaning mess, bucking her hips and trying to push my head down. I pulled away, waiting for her to nod before slipping her pants and underwear off. I took her in for a second, admiring her long tan legs, toned stomach, small but perfect breasts and beautiful eyes filled with want. 

Before moving any further with Christen, I connected my lips with Tobin. I didn't know what I was doing with two of them, but I wanted them to both feel wanted. I took my time with Tobin, with the help of Christen, stripping her down and working her up. I couldn't get enough of their moans, their touches, their pleads for more. It was driving me crazy, but I wanted to focus on them first. I figured the best way to ensure pleasure for them both was to have us all participating. I guided Christen so she was hovering over Tobin's face.

Christen moaned loudly at the same time I licked a line through Tobin's folds drawing a muffled moan which drew another needy moan from Christen. As Tobin worked Christen closer to the edge, I focused back on exploring Tobin. My tongue circled her clit, her hips bucking for more. Two fingers slipped easily into her, a loud, muffled moan slipped from Tobin. I pumped my fingers slowly, curling every few thrusts as I pulled away, watching as Tobin wrapped her arms around Christen's thighs, eating her out faster and harder, muffled moans falling uncontrollably. Christen head was thrown back, loud, needy moans slipping out as she reached behind her, gripping the head board for support. 

As much as I wanted to get them to come at the same time, I wanted to take my time getting to know what Tobin liked, what drove her crazy. It didn't take long for Christen to tense, moans louder than before, legs shaking as she shook. Once her high passed, she fell back against the headboard, breathing heavy. My fingers never stopped, maintaining the same slow pace that slowly turned Tobin into a moaning, pleading mess. I lent forward, kissing Tobin, moaning at the taste of Christen left behind. Christen moved behind Tobin so her head was resting against her stomach, hands moving to play with Tobin's breasts. Her back arched, hips bucking. "B-baby p-p-please. I-I need-"

Tobin cut herself off with a moan as my fingers curled. I kissed Christen before moving back down, fingers thrusting harder and faster as my tongue flicked her clit. My lips wrapped around her clit, sucking hard. She tightened around my fingers, spasming and tensing as she fell over the edge. I helped her through before cleaning her up and pulling away. Christen took my hand cleaning my fingers as I settled beside them. 

"H-holy fuck y-you're amazing baby," Tobin managed between ragged breaths. I laughed, kissing her cheek and pulling her closer. 

"I aim to please."

After catching her breath, Tobin turned over kissing between Christens breasts before turning to me, "You've got way too many clothes on and we're so not done yet."

---

Things were getting hard. Not with Christen and Tobin, we were still going strong almost two years into our relationship. Things weren't always easy. Between navigating a three person relationship, living in three different cities and them spending some time playing overseas, we had our struggles, but we were stronger for it. The problem was, I was really starting to struggle with the distance. We saw each other as often as we could, facetimed pretty much everyday even when they were overseas. It sucked, but it was manageable until recently that is. All I wanted was to be with them, but it didn't seem to be possible. I was almost constantly down, irritable, distracted if I wasn't with or talking to them. I cried after hanging up with them and crying wasn't something I normally did. 

This was something I had tried my best not to let them see. There was nothing that could be done and the intensity of these feelings would likely fade in a few weeks, so I didn't see the point in worrying them. Ashlyn and Ali had picked up on my mood change, they hadn't brought it up yet, but they had been trying to take my mind off it without pushing too much. They knew I would bring it up if I wanted to. 

"Hey, you okay?" Ali asked sitting on the deck chair next to me. I had just finished talking to Christen and Tobin

"I'm not, but I will be."

"I'm here if you want to talk about it Y/n."

I sighed, "I just miss them, more than I know how to cope with right now."

"I get that. Have you talked to them about it? Maybe they can help make things a little easier to cope with?"

"There's nothing we can do about it, I don't want to worry them. I'm sure it'll pass, if not I'll figure it out. Thank you Ali."

The next day, I was sitting down on the beach after surfing, knees pulled up to my chest as I watched the waves. It was the spot where things were most peaceful, where my mind wasn't quite so loud. I was completely zoned out when a hand landed on each knee. I recoganised the ring on one of the hands. It was Christen. I didn't look though, they weren't supposed to be there so I had convinced myself that I was imagining things. When nails ran down my back, I snapped out of it and actually looked beside me. They were actually there. Sitting beside me, looking rather concerned. I lent against Tobin's side as Christens arm wrapped around me. I couldn't bring myself to say anything or even really be excited that they were there. I was too stuck in my head. 

Tobin kissed my forehead, "What's wrong my love?"

"You don't have to tell us right now, but you've been off the last little while and we're worried."

At that I couldn't stop the tears from falling as I cried against Tobin's shoulder. They had seen me cry a few times, but it was normally short and quiet. This time though, I let everything out, not that I could stop it anyway. 

"I'm struggling."

"Can you tell us what with?"

"You guys not being here. The distance. I miss you so much it hurts. I just want you guys here and I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that you're not."

Christen laced her fingers with mine, kissing my temple, "We're not doing much better. We actually wanted to talk to you about that though."

"About what?"

Tobin was the one to speak this time, hand still running across my back, "Moving in together. I know there's quite a lot of logistics around that, but when we were overseas, living together and seeing each other everyday, we realised how much we actually wanted to be close together, live together permanently. It was great, but there was one major thing missing."

"W-what?"

"You Y/n. Every day we would wake up and go to bed, wishing more than anything that you were with us. I know there's a lot we would need to figure out, like where, when, that sort of thing, but will you move in with us?"

I pulled them both into a hug so quickly that we fell backwards. Maybe it wouldn't be the easiest thing to figure out, but all I wanted was to be with them, "Yes, yes I would love that. I don't even care where, I just want to be with you guys." 

I held them for a minute before finally realising that they weren't supposed to be here, "Why are you guys here? Don't you have training?"

"You haven't been yourself lately, as much as you tried to hide it, we noticed. You weren't smiling, laughing or joking as much, you looked tired all the. We got worried, Ali and Ash said something was up but you weren't talking to them. There was only one day of training before we had a few days off so our coached let us go. It's only for a few days, but we wanted to come see you, see if we could finally get you to talk to us."

"Thank you. I really needed to see you both. I love you."

Tobin kissed me, filled with passion and want as always, I sunk into it, holding her close. The first kiss once I saw them again was always the best. The sense of peace and calmness that washed over me when I kissed them was a feeling I never wanted to go away, "I love you Y/n. I know you didn't want to worry us, that was the one thing Ali could tell us, but please just talk to us next time. You not talking to us, worries us more."

I left a lingering kiss against Christens lips and resting my forehead against hers, "I'm sorry, I didn't want to worry you. I promise to talk to you in the future. Thank you for coming."

"Always."

"I vote LA." Tobin spoke up making me pull away from Christen confused as to what she was talking about. "I vote we move to LA. Warm weather, good surf and I know Angel FC might be interested in signing me."

Christen looked at Tobin, smile slowly making it's way onto her face. I guess they hadn't talked about it, "R-really? You'd want to move to LA?"

"I know how much you love Angel FC and LA, I wouldn't ask you to leave that. Besides we know Y/n is obsessed with surfing."

"I wouldn't be opposed to that, I can work from anywhere. Only thing is Ash, Ali and the kids, I don't want to miss seeing them grow up so it would mean frequent trips to see them. If you can deal with that then I'm all for LA."

"Of course we can, they're your family. We'll figure it out in time."

"Sooner rather than later please."

They both held me tightly as I watched the water once again. I felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted. Not just because of the idea of moving in with them, but because they knew I needed them and they didn't hesitate to fly out for me. At one point they were the people I didn't want, but now I couldn't imagine my life without them. Maybe things weren't always going to be easy, there will be up's and downs, change and sacrifices. With them though, it would all be worth it. 

[dayumbxxch]

Spoiled Memories

The sound of your favorite song drowns out the sound of your heavy breathing. Life in Haddonfield had become too much once again. Your mind was clouded with thoughts of what happened earlier.

"Do you know  Michael Myers?" Dr.Loomis asked Y/N as she sat across from the 'shape' as some call him. "Yes sir.." Her voice had gotten quite like usual. "Would you like to elaborate?"

"We were friends in Elementary."

"Good friends?" This has peaked the Psychiatrist's interest; the only friend Michael was known to have was his mother.

"I guess he was my only friend besides family. We spent all our time together if that's what you're asking."

Your head began pounding from the lack of oxygen, as you rest your hands on your knees to catch your breath a deep sense of sadness washes over you.

Michael wasn't someone you could forget, he was your best friend. After leaving Haddonfield you weren't the same for years. Once you finally got your grounding your brother had gone missing and no one seemed to care. You'd gotten your breath of fresh air and you suddenly began drowning once again.

Slowly you started to jog picking up the pace as your nose tingles and you feel tears coming. It wasn't fair why did all of this happen to you? Wasn't your parents leaving you bad enough? What did you do to deserve such pain?

'Everything is going to be fine. I'll find him and leave this town and it's dark past behind.' You told yourself in order to not lose all the progress you had made over the years.

Your quick run had come to an end at your doorstep where Elvis was waiting.

Sitting in bed Y/N began to think if everything was truly worth it. Her phone showed 4:25 AM which lit up her dark room. Deciding the money was worth it she dragged herself out of bed.

"Hey Isabella." You say with a yawn as your friend groans loudly while setting her bag down. "I just wanna go home." She whines while leaning back against the wall. "What if we just quit and leave?"

"You have to meet Michael again today don't you?" You nod while sighing loudly. "Don't get murdered shit girl. You aren't getting paid enough for that."

To start the work day the girls made their way down the hall towards the dining room. Like usual it was mainly empty, breakfast wasn't a popular meal in this place. Most people preferred to sleep instead of eating the mush they serve.

"So where are you took next week off right?" Y/N nods while setting a cup in front of a patient. "Yeah I'm leaving town for a couple days. Can you still watch Elvis?"

"Absolutely I've been dying to see your house. I heard you moved into that two story out on Benlumpkin road. That place is massive compared to my apartment."

Y/N's palms start to sweat  as she stands outside the double doors.

"He's in his room today."

"Hm?" She turns around to see Dr. Loomis with his hands behind his back. "He wouldn't come out of his room. So I was hoping you could speak to him. It might encourage him to speak once again after such a long period."

"I guess I could.." Picking at the skin around her nails while walking next to the doctor. "Don't worry I'll talk to Mrs. Shalley to give you a raise." The silence between the two grew loud as they reached the end of the hall.

"Ladies first." Y/N walks through the steel door and into Michaels room. "Hey.." The room was more silent than ever.    Y/N takes the opportunity to look around the room. Masks cover the walls, each one different from the last. "Remember that one you used to wear as a kid?"

Tracing her finger along a mask before walking over to the desk where Michael was sitting. The one on the table before him was solid black. "What's up with this one?" He doesn't even notice her or pretends not to.

Moments of silence pass before Y/N walks over to the door. "Doctor Loomis I don't see this benefitting anyone."  He'd been standing in the doorway watching the awkward one sided interaction. "Do you think he'd harm you if he had the chance?"

Thinking about it Y/N answers. "Probably not but I haven't seen him since her murdered a bunch of people, so maybe. Why?"

Dr. Loomis shuts the door with her inside. "We're going to try something new!" The demented man says through the thick metal door. "What?! I didn't agree to this!" She whisper yells in anger in the sudden betrayal. "Don't worry the guards are right outside. Try to get him to speak! We'll give it thirty minutes or so and see what happens."

"If you don't let me out of here right now I'll sue." The doctor puts his hand to his ear to gesture that he can't hear. "You heard me two seconds ago! Let me out!" She slams her hand on the door before noticing the shift in the eyes of the man in front of her.

Y/N turns around to be met face to chest with Michael. "Damn." It was an automatic response to the giant in front of her. "Shit dude. You can't sneak up on people like that."

Going around the side of him Y/N takes a closer look at his room. "These people want us to talk y'know? Like that's gonna help you barely spoke when we were kids." After not receiving a response as expected, she turns around to see the monster in the same spot.

"I don't know what to say.." She trails off with a sign. "I never do."

Attempting to keep the silence at bay Y/N speaks up again. "Do you remember that day we met, when I snuck into the boys bathroom?"

[berenwrites]

Revelation - Stranger Things - Steddie - G

Rating: G | cw: none | tags: pre-steddie, bisexual steve harrington

Prompt: Love is being terrified but not letting that stop you from taking a leap (@unclewaynemunson)

A/N: Written for @steddielovemonth day 3. Missed day 2 because I was too busy, so I didn’t get it finished, but here it goes for day 3.

Also on AO3 | All my other Stranger Things Fic

Revelation :A Heart-stopping Reality

It was not a day for revelations. It was a day for relaxing in the sun with friends and letting the world go by. Steve was not prepared for anything else.

He had been sitting on a sun lounger watching Nancy dunking Jonathan in the pool while Eddie and Argyle sat on the side talking about something when it had hit him. All he’d been doing was comparing Eddie’s scars to his own in his head, thinking about how they matched in a couple of places. A perfectly innocent thought.

At least it had started that way.

He’d started wondering if Eddie’s scars were as sensitive as his own, what they would feel like under his fingers. What it would feel like to have Eddie touch his.

And now here he was sitting on his bathroom floor trying not to freak out.

“Steve, what’s wrong?”

Robin had to be standing in his bedroom. He’d managed to make it into the house without drawing much attention to himself, but she had been in the kitchen and, of course, she’d clocked him straight away. He’d made a dash for the stairs, but she’d clearly followed him.

“Steve, I don’t like it when you go quiet.”

She really did sound worried.

“You can come in,” he said, even as he mentally flailed.

Robin stepped into the bathroom, took one look at him, and immediately closed the door behind her again. Without a word she crossed the distance between them and sat down right next to him.

“Want to talk about it?” she asked.

It wasn’t demanding, just a question, and he felt something tight release a little in his chest. This was Robin, the person he told everything to. The person who told him everything too. The person he could embarrass by saying the word ‘boobies’, but who asked him to help her pick out her outfit, including underwear, for her first date with Vickie. The only reason Vickie wasn’t at his house today was because she had been dragged on vacation by her parents.

He took a deep breath. It was supposed to be calming, but it didn’t help that much.

“I think,” he started to say and stopped for a few moments. “I think,” he began again, “I might have a thing for Eddie.”

His heart hammered as he said it out loud and for the first time, he really appreciated how brave Robin had been in that bathroom in Starcourt mall. He knew Robin, she was his platonic soulmate, and admitting what he was thinking out loud was terrifying. They had only been work colleagues who had become begrudging friends when she came out to him. How she had had the courage, he couldn’t comprehend.

“Our Eddie?” Robin checked as if she didn’t quite believe what she had heard. “Hyperactive metal head, pariah turned hero of this town. That Eddie?”

He nodded.

“I wondered how his scars feel and what it would feel like if he touched mine and then it hit me that I’ve been thinking things like that a lot lately,” he admitted quietly, “and maybe I want to kiss him too.”

“And how does that make you feel?” Robin asked, reaching out and taking his hand.

“Terrified,” he said as his stomach flip-flopped yet again. “Have I been lying to myself my whole life?”

She squeezed his fingers gently.

“Thank you for telling me,” she said, leaning in close. “You know it’s okay to have a thing for girls and boys, right?”

Little rivulets of cold shock lanced through his chest.

“What?” was the best he could do.

“Remember I told you about Bowie, how he identified as bisexual?” Robin said.

“That time I had the really bad nightmare and you biked over?” he asked, because he vaguely remembered the conversation.

“Yeah,” she said with a nod. “That’s what bisexual means, liking boy and girls. Did I not explain it properly. God I am such a bad queer.”

“You probably did,” he interrupted her, before she could berate herself too much, “but I was running on about two hours sleep in three days. I probably missed it.”

He’d had a bit of a rough patch around Halloween the previous year. Too many memories and too many changes going on around him. It had brought all the nightmares back.

“And I just rambled at you,” Robin said, looking down.

“I love it when you ramble,” he assured her. “Helps get me out of my head. So, bisexual?”

“Yep,” she said, popping the ‘p’.

“But I’ve never…” he started to say. “At least I don’t think I have. Eddie is the first.”

“Bisexuals don’t have to like girls and boys equally,” Robin explained. “Maybe Eddie just pushes your buttons. I mean I’m not saying you have a type, but dark curly hair, big expressive eyes definitely do it for you. There’s Nancy for one, and you’ve only been even vaguely serious about one person since last summer and that was Melanie, who also had dark curls and big brown eyes. Or maybe it’s the whole you carried him out of hell thing that’s woken up that side of you. Just believe me when I say, there’s nothing wrong with what you are feeling.”

Steve took a shuddering breath. He had really needed to hear that.

“So, how do you feel now?” Robin asked after a few moments.

“Still terrified,” he admitted, but managed to give her a small smile, “but maybe a little better.”

“And what do you want to do now?” she asked. “Do you want to freak out a bit more up here? Do you want to go back down? I can kick them all out if you need space.”

He drew in another deep, stuttering breath as he considered her words.

“I think,” he said eventually, “I want to go down there and kiss him senseless until he doesn’t know what hit him.”

Robin blinked at him.

“Actually,” she said after a moment, “that is a very you reaction. Just maybe, ask first, yeah?”

“You think he’ll say yes?” he asked, stomach twisting yet again.

“Given the way he watches your ass, I think you might have a chance,” Robin replied. “I mean on an aesthetic level you do have a great ass, so there’s a small possibility it’s just hypnotising, but I’m more on the he wants a piece of that side of the fence.”

“You’re not joking?” Steve checked.

“About something this important, I would never,” Robin assured him in her most serious tone.

“Do you think he’s bisexual too?” Steve asked.

“Could be gay,” Robin pointed out.

“No, we’ve talked about girls,” he said, “and I don’t think he’d be that great an actor when he’s high.”

“Then could be,” Robin agreed, “but you do remember you have three other people down there, right?”

He did, so he nodded. That actually helped in a bizarre sort of way. Now he needed a plan to get Eddie alone, which gave him something else to think about. There was the gut-wrenching possibility that Eddie would reject him, after all he didn’t have the best track record with relationships even if Eddie did swing that way, but now he had a glimmer of hope. It was enough to cut a small path through the almost overwhelming fear.

It would hurt if Eddie did turn him down because he was all too aware his heart was already in this. It’s what made it quite so frightening. He hadn’t even realised he was falling, but he was self-aware enough to know he was way past a simple crush.

Maybe someone else would have taken the time to think it all through, but Steve wasn’t really a thinker, he was a doer. He knew only too well, if he wasn’t careful, he could think himself into a hole that was very difficult to climb out of, so he tended to act first, over-think later. He’d been terrified for a good percentage of his life since 1983. This was a different kind of fear, but he hadn’t let the first one stop him, so this one wasn’t going to either.

“Thanks, Robs,” he said, doing his best to give her the patented Harrington smile.

He could tell she saw straight through it, but she smiled back anyway.

“Go get ‘im, Tiger,” were her words of wisdom.

All my other Stranger Things Fic

[sthormiiii]

aaravos headcanons !! (again)

i've put a little more thought into this ones~

General headcanons:

- hes so strong, or, well. he used to be. ofc he's naturally very strong, but ever since his imprisonment he has been sitting down a lot, he doesn't work out much in there (too busy being sad and plotting revenge) so, when he gets out and notices that he struggles to lift stuff up, that annoys him.

- he tried his best to stay away from humans at first, but it was so hard for him, he promised himself he would just take a look, just to see how they live from closer, nothing more!! we know how that went.

- him before the fall was such a nerd!! he still is ofc, but before all the trauma he used to be just a guy interested in humans! just picture him trying the human rayla thing the first time he went to humans.

- one of his favourite things was observing human couples togheter. yeah this might sound creepy i know, but he genuinely enjoyed watching two people just...being in love, and he always noticed the little gestures they did for each other- he would try to keep track of those, trying to understand what exactly being in love meant.

- that ties to the fact that startouch elves usually don't fall in love? because there isn't really a startouch elf society, they mostly live by themselves- that's another thing he loves about humans, the way they live togheter and create families.

- zones out a lot. he has so much stuff he wants to say, so many things in his head and he gets caught up in in his own thoughts so much

- he reads people very easily. notices the slightest things when talking to someone. especially looks at their hands and body language in general

- after he shattered the mirror in s4 he realized he couldn't look at himself anymore and went "-oh." so, NOW his hair is messier and he has to look at his reflection in vases or stuff like that. he's annoyed

- he sleeps in very specific ways with very specific kind of pillows and stuff. if he ever has to sleep somewhere else, his whole body hurts the next day

- he laughs loud af, can and will laugh like a maniac if he finds something THAT funny

- craves love and validation. wants to be praised and likes being at the center of attention

- he loves physical contact and tried to get it all the time, even small things like knees touching when sitting besides someone, or holding hands made him feel so happy

- his love language is quality time and physical contact

- hates getting sick, it makes him feel vulnerable and weak- it used to happen a lot because that man refuses to wear a shirt even in winter, and humans used to take care of him as much as they could! (he secretly liked it)

- first time he got sick he thought he was dying

- genuinely forgets how tall he is compared to other people, doesn't realize how menacing he can seem

- gets offended easily

- he!! likes!!!! bugs!!!!!!! I can't stress this enough

- he's ticklish. I won't elaborate.

Angsty ones:

- he hates himself,, he hates how he looks after his fall. he feels shame and guilt everytime he looks at himself

(s6 spoilers) him crying while looking at his reflection in the e1s6 made me think of this even more, he literally looks at his hands and see he's not glowing anymore and then. sobs.

- after losing so many people, he no longer grieves as much as he used to. if he stopped and really thought about it, he would cry, but he usually manages to block those thoughts out

- speaking of crying, once he starts he can't stop. he could cry for so many hours straight there's just so much stuff he went through and he needs to let all of that out...when he cries the stars on his cheeks shine more

- other than sadness he also has lots of anger inside. he sometimes snaps and throws punches against the walls of his prison, or he throws stuff around, making a mess. he then feels even worse

- he misses looking at the stars more than anything. yes, it's painful for him and he hates them. but he also just wish he could stargaze again.

- his nightmares manly consist in people he used to know, haunting him. he dreams of people who betrayed him, and he also dreams of being unable to move or do anything, being chained or just forced to stay still as people he used to know are there, watching, but don't help. sometimes they're happy dreams, of freedom and love, but even those leave him crying in the morning

- he is scared to love again

- as soon as he's out of that pearl he will sob. i know he will.

help its 2am does these make any sense...

[sannasruins]

my letters to you

Aizawa Shouta x reader

type: fluff to angst

warning: major character death, non-descriptive violence, grief

a/n: i did not intend for this to be so long, i'm already working on the next part, i just wanted to get this out since it's already at this length, this is probably the saddest thing i have ever written, sorry in advance. reader is referred to with she/her pronouns

word count: 4.7k

As a Pro Hero, you had known since your school days, the job held the risk of one day not letting you return home. While it was a scary thought, devoting your life to a job that very well may take it, you had no doubt in your mind that being a hero was what you were meant to do. So, from a very young age, you had decided you wouldn’t ever let yourself get too close to someone, especially not your fellow hero’s in-training, so you wouldn’t have to suffer the grief of losing them, and they not have to suffer loosing you, if it ever came down to it. That was, until you met Aizawa Shouta in your first year at UA high school. 

He sat two chairs behind you your first year of school, the quiet one in his loud friend group, and though many people didn’t seem to see it, you saw how incredibly kind that boy way. You saw in him what you hoped others might see in you, that he was truly born to be a hero. You decided, looking at that dark-haired boy who sat two seats behind you your first year at a high school for heroes, that he was going to be someone that you let get too close.

You spent your school days studying and training with your peers, and the evenings after school walking home with Shouta, and on those trips to and from school, you slowly fell in love with him, and him with you, not that you were aware. 

The two of you would often walk home as the sun was setting, along the river, on lookers would see the couple, bathed in the orange light. The girl, a large smile on her face as she talked excitedly about nothing in particular, looking forwards towards the sunset and their destination, and the boy, a small, barely noticeable smile on his, looking at her as she moved forwards with a bounce in her step. 

Walks home slowly morphed into afterschool dates, not that either of you had the courage to actually call them that, often stopping by things like bakeries and crepe stands. On your first visit to a crepe stand, you ordered the cult classic strawberries and cream, and much to your disgruntlement, Shouta ordered dark chocolate on dark chocolate, your face taking on an expression of disbelief as he took the first bite of his and seemed to genuinely enjoy it. He mistook your expression, and thinking you wanted to try his crepe, shyly offered you a bite. Feeling bad for judging the sweet boy standing next to you, you took a tentative bite from the crepe, maybe it wouldn’t taste as bad as you thought it would! Maybe now that you’re older you’ll enjoy dark chocolate more than when you last tried it! Alas, dark chocolate has remained the same, and so has your taste, as you make a displeased face and after swallowing, stuck out your tongue in disgust. He let out a little laugh at your expression, and asked you if you didn’t like dark chocolate, and you replied that no, nobody with normal taste buds should like dark chocolate, it tastes like dirt! He chuckled again and the two of you started back on your trek home, you finding solace in your normal and tasty crepe, and every few minutes for the rest of the walk, adding more reasons and defamation to dark chocolate. Even though you were dissing something he enjoyed, he didn’t seem to mind, as he listened with a small smile on his face, eating his crepe and watching you. 

The two of you often frequented an arcade that was on your path home, having almost weekly competitions on who could beat who’s high score, Shouta never seemed to the comparative type but when it was just you two, you could see a rare grin forming on his face as the levels increased in difficulty and he got closer and closer to the besting number, the glint in his eye wasn’t just from the reflection of the arcade game’s screen, and it gave you butterflies.

On the last day before summer break, your second year of school, you asked Aizawa Shouta to meet you behind the school building after classes had let out. It wasn’t too strange that the two of you were meeting after school, since you usually walked home together, but why behind the school instead of in front by the entrance gates was confusing to him.

You were waiting there for him, with a small white box in your hands, and as he approached you, you bowed and put your arms out, presenting him with the little package. “Aizawa Shouta,” your voice trembled but you continued on, “will you please go out with me?”. You felt him take the box, so you let go and quickly straightened yourself, but did not raise your eyes from the dirt you were standing on, too nervous to meet his. It was quiet for a long time, and your heart began to sink at the prospect of rejection. You finally looked back up at him, tears starting to sting in your eyes, only to have your eyes land on a Shouta Aizawa whose face was so red it looked as if it may start to glow.

“Are… are you blushing?” You questioned him, fear tinged the edges of your words. His eyes shot up to meet yours, only for a second before returning to the ground, and he gave a shy nod of his head.

“I,” his voice caught in his throat, like it wasn’t ready to yet talk, “I wasn’t expecting this.”

“Is that a no?” disappointment heavy in your tone.

“No!” he shouted, and then, looking as if his sudden outburst was a surprise even to him, he continued, “I mean, I think you’re really cool, and smart, and I really enjoy hanging out with you, and I think you’re so pretty.” As he lists his compliments towards you his volume lowered in embarrassment, his last word being barely above a whisper. 

“So,” he quickly started again, voice returned now to a normal volume, “I would like to go out with you, l/n y/n.”

The tension you didn’t know had built up in your body suddenly released, stress of rejection melting off of you and into the earth below. You let out a shaky laugh, tears that had been caught in your eyes spilling over the brim and down your cheeks, your throat slowly untightening from the adrenaline. “Thank you, I’m so glad.”

“Oh no nono,” he said worriedly, taking a step towards you, and reaching out an unsteady hand to brush a tear away with his knuckle. “Please don’t cry, why are you crying?”

You laughed, “I really don’t know,” and you grinned, “I’m just so happy.”

He blushed and looked away, a hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck, “yeah, me too,” he murmured. 

You two started the walk home from the back of the school, your hand shyly reaching for his.

“What’s in this, anyways?” he asked in reference to the little white box you had presented him earlier. 

“Oh,” you blushed, embarrassed again, “its homemade dark chocolate.” He looked down at the box in his free hand, and a smile played at his lips.

That day on lookers would see the couple, bathed once more in the orange light, next to the slow flowing river. The girl, a large smile on her face as she talked excitedly about nothing in particular, looking forwards towards the sunset and their destination, and the boy, a small, barely noticeable smile on his, looking at her as she moved forwards with a bounce in her step, but this time, they were hand in hand.

Having yet joined a hero’s agency to intern at since Aizawa hadn’t either, when you were offered a place at His Purple Highness’ agency along with him and your mutual friend, you jumped at the opportunity to have even more time with your boyfriend. The two of you had kept your relationship relatively quiet in fear of it affecting the opportunities you both would be offered in the future, not wanting to be barred from working along one another. It was the middle of your second year when one of Aizawa Shouta’s and your friend, Oboro Shirakumo, was killed during your hero work studies. You were there with Shouta but had been knocked out by the Villain Garvey’s stock quirk and left to watch in dazed horror though foggy vision the violence that continued. It started to rain. You watched your beloved Aizawa fight the villain by himself, a boy who never thought he was meant for solo combat, doing what he must to protect the nursery school children, knowing he truly was the last wall between them and the villain. You watched him defeat Garvey, and as back up arrived, watched as he was congratulated on his victory, alone. Your barely conscious body had been picked up at that point, paramedics moving you towards an ambulance. You saw your Shota’s gaze follow a pointed finger, to where Oboro’s body had been removed from the rubble and gently placed into a body bag, already stained with cool blood, mixing with the wet ground under him. Rain had started to pour by then, the cold missiles stinging the skin of your face, it mingles with the warm salt of your tears. You desperately, and weakly, push away the medics trying to help you, and stumble towards him, standing in the freezing downpour. When you reach him, you throw your arms around him, and the two of you sink to your knees. You press his cooled face into the warmer skin of your chest, squeezing him tightly as your body gently shakes with unsure sobs. If he cried, you couldn’t tell, the two of you sat kneeling in the rain for a long time, long past the point of soaking you to the bone. Hizashi joins you two at some point, mourning in the rain together in a way no children should have to, and when told to move out of the rain, he speaks for the three of you in saying that the weather and your place in it was befitting of the occasion.

After the shocking death of your friend, Aizawa changed, he was still the boy you loved, but he poured more and more time and effort into solo training, not ever wanting to have to rely on others in combat. He got it into his head that he, someone with a non-combat based quirk, still had to be able to protect even his fellow combat based quirk heroes. He never wanted to be weak like he was that day in the rain ever again. He never wanted to lose anyone else.

You changed after Oboros death too, it brought back your dated mentality of not wanting to get too close to anyone, but you knew, if you distanced yourself from your sweet boyfriend, it would be one the gravest mistakes you ever made in your entire life. So, instead, you thought about your mortality, how much you missed your dear friend already, and how this very thing could happen to you too one day. You were okay with the idea of losing your life in battle, it held honor, you had accepted that long ago. Now knowing the other side of the coin, being the one left behind when someone dear departed while in battle, you knew you couldn’t do nothing.

So, you started writing letters to Aizawa Shouta, for the just incase. And every year or so, you would rewrite them, having them updated to the most recent you. You did that for quite some time.

You and Shouta experienced many first together. You graduated, watched him start his underground hero agency while staying to side kick under His Purple Highness, working up the ranks until you yourself were ready to set off on your own as a Hero. Your time as a sidekick had allowed you to slowly rise through the popularity ranks, and when you debuted as a hero, you already had your standing in the top 100. You and Shouta moved in together 3 years after graduating, never having broken up, you had just decided it would be important to establish yourselves as individuals before you moved in with one another. Bright eyes 21-year-olds, charging their way into the world, establishing yourselves among the hero ranks. A year later he proposed, it wasn’t at a fancy restaurant on the top floor of a hotel, or a big spectacle with all your friends and family there, instead it was in the warm orange light of the setting sun, on the walk home from visiting a crepe stand, not too much unlike the one you visited when you were in school. It was mid spring, and along the river, covered in a blanket of pink petals, he got down on one knee. The backdrop of sakura trees in full bloom, and before you, your beloved presenting you a lovely ring only he could have picked, that suited you so well, you were the happiest person alive. You lowered yourself down onto your knees as well, ignoring the looks of curious onlookers, and threw your arms around his neck, knocking him over into the grass. With tears of joy in your eyes, you took his face in your hands and peppered enthused kisses all over his face, his cheeks, his eyelids, his nose, his forehead, his chin, until you reached his lips. You pressed a lingering kiss to them, before pulling your head up, and meeting his eyes, “Yes, yes a thousand, a million times yes.”

He grinned back at you, and using the pads of his thumbs, wiped away the tears staining your cheeks, “thank you.”

Onlookers this time would see the happy couple, walking in the light of the setting sun, hand in hand, but this time around, she had a ring on hers. 

At the ripe age of 24, the two of you tied the knot, the date was set to the day, 10 years ago, that the two of you had first met at the entrance ceremony of UA high school. He looked dashing in his best suit, and you looked ethereal in your dress as you walked down the aisle to meet him at the altar, both of you wearing face splitting grins. You were in the top 40 at that point in your career, and the media had a small field day with your wedding. The 34th ranked hero (y/h/n) and the elusive eraserhead were wed today at an exclusive venue, only close friends and family were invited! Read more to find out all the juicy gossip of the latest hero wedding.

After your wedding you moved out of your shared apartment and into a cute little two story in a residential area of town, with enough room for whatever the future may hold. You rewrote your letters for the last time in that house. 

It was 13 months after the two of you got married, that it happened, a balmy May evening. Villain activity had been on the rise and stronger villains were appearing everyday. He wasn’t on the scene when it happened, he wasn't able to do the thing he trained so hard to do.

He had heard your call for backup over the radio, when you encountered an especially strong opponent, and had been rushing towards your location, tuning out the reports that were constantly being fed into his ear, as you were the only thing on his mind. When he was only 5 minutes away, there was an explosive sound, and the whole neighborhood began to shake, and in the distance he saw a plume of dust and smoke rising into the darkening sky. 

You had been on the edge of being defeated, knowing that that was truly the end, and had decided to take the rising villain out with you. It had been in an abandoned warehouse in the business sector of the neighborhood, there probably wouldn’t be anyone around expect for you and the person you were fighting, you reasoned with yourself as you set your quirk off for the last time, making sure that if you go out, your last fight wouldn’t be one that you lost. 

The dust had started to settle by the time Shouta arrived, there were other heroes and rescue teams already there, several of whom were mere moments away from providing backup, but they would have been too late even if you didn’t decide to be as rash as you were. Many were shifting through the rubble as he swung his head from side to side, looking for you, deluding himself that you would be among the heroes on top of the rubble, instead of under it. He didn’t see you. 

Someone called out that they had found you, it was Hizashi, Shouta saw him cradling your broken and bloody form. A sound ripped from his throat, choked, horrified, bloodcurdling, and he rushed over to where his blond friend kneeled in the wreckage. Hizashi gently handed off your cooling form to his best friend, but remained next to him, as Shota murmured to you. 

He pleaded for you to wake, for you to move, for you to open your eyes, god please just breath please. There was nothing you could do though, you weren’t there anymore, not really. He clung to you, and wept, voice growing hoarse, till his cries were nothing but shakes of his body. Eventually, medics had to take you away, and he watched, as they zipped your lovely body up in the disgusting black bag. He watched you be carried off, though the medics were treating your body with the utmost respect, he could not help but despise them for taking you away. 

It was on the news when he got home, the tv having been left on. He carefully took off his shoes, stripped of his dusty uniform, and showered, going numbly through a routine he had established, which was missing an essential part, you. He dried and dressed, and made his way up to your bedroom, where he fell to his knees on your side of the bed, burying his face in the blankets you had slept in not even a day ago, inhaling the scent of you. He broke once more, realizing that soon, the smell would fade, and it would just be another memory he would unwillingly slowly forget to the passage of time. He fell asleep there, on the floor, after crying all the tears his body held and more. 

He didn’t leave the house for days, remaining in your shared bed, cradling the small stuffed animal you had gotten as a present for yourself after graduating from UA, you smiley excuse being “for when you’re not here, I still need something to cuddle,” he had thought it was silly, maybe a little immature, but had never said anything on the matter. But now he held onto the small stuffed friend as if it was his only salvation in the horrible world he was forced to live in since you had left. He didn’t eat, he didn’t move, he just drifted in and out of painful consciousness. 

Your funeral had come and gone, people and the media were shocked to see the lack of your doting husband at your wake. . After 4 days of no contact, Hizashi came by, and let himself in with the spare key you kept hidden under a rock by the entrance. Long ago, right after graduating from high school, you had told Hizashi that if you were ever to die in combat, to look for a construction paper covered shoe box in your closet, that it was for Shouta. When he asked you what it was, and why you had prepared something so morbid, you didn’t have much of a real answer to give him. “Please”, you had  asked your blonde friend, “it’s something I started doing after Oboro… after oboro’s death. There’s so many things I never want Shouta to have to experience alone, without me.” He had nodded in acceptance of your words, and not wanting to focus on such a pessimistic topic on your graduation day, changed topics with a smile, going on about where the after party’s after party might be taking place.

He walked to your bedroom, “I’m coming in,” he announced as he swung the door open, though he didn’t receive a response. His heart twinged at the sight of his best friend, huddled under the comforter on your side of the bed, clutching a well loved stuffed animal. Though he had lost a friend, he couldn’t imagine the pain Aizawa Shouta was going though, it was as if the man that lay before him had lost a part of himself. A puzzle that will never again be able to be completed. 

Hizashi sat on the edge of the bed, next to the owner of greasy ebony hair, which he ruffled. “You need to take a shower man, you know how y/n doesn’t like it when you let it get this dirty.”

“She’s gone.”

Oh, it hit him in the gut, the blonde flinched. She is gone, and she couldn’t ever come back either. The rest of their lives, they would have to live without the bright girl they had known for so long. They would keep on living, and she would not. They would have to remember her longer than they had known her. 

“It hurts.” Hizashi said, “it hurts so bad, and it feels so unfair, and if there was anything I could do to undo this, to even take away the pain you’re feeling right now, I would do it in a heartbeat.”

“But,” he continued, “but there’s not, there is absolutely nothing we can do to undo what has already been done. The only thing we can do is to live the way she would have wanted. Do you think she would have wanted you to lie in your shared bed, rotting away until you died? Do you think she would happily greet you at the gates of death if you let yourself end in that way?”

Shouta turned his head to look at his friend, dark eyes red and swollen from their endless flow of tears, that even now, dripped from them.

“Get up,” the blond stood and slapped the top of his thighs, “take a shower, brush your teeth, I’m going to go downstairs and cook something for us to eat.”

Shouta nodded, and slowly sat up, his hair falling into his face like a dark veil. He rose from the bed, and begrudgingly made his way to the bathroom, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror on his way. He looked haggard, stubble grown out, his heart hurt so badly at the thought of you seeing him like this, he decided he would shave too.

After his friend had left the room, Hizashi went towards the closet, feeling guilty about disturbing things the way you had left them, he tried his best to leave as much as he could untouched as he looked for the brightly decorated box he had been told about. He found it without much effort, tucked away in the very back of the top shelf, covered in cute scrapbooking paper and stickers, it really was quite the reflection of you, something you had made with such care and love. It hurt thinking about how you ever had to prepare this sort of thing in the first place, having been preparing for your own death since you all had been teenagers. He gingerly removed it from its place, and carried it downstairs to the kitchen with him, tucking it away to bring it up later, after he had gotten some food into his mourning friend. 

He opened the fridge, revealing a tupperware of something preprepared, just needing to be cooked. He opened the lid of it, taking a whiff to see if it was still good or if it had gone bad in the time that has passed since it was made, it hadn’t. He washed and put the rice in its cooker before tossing the contents of the tupperware into a pan, frying it until it was done, and serving it with the fresh steaming rice. 

Shouta came downstairs, the smell of your cooking hitting his nose, and for a few moments he forgot that you weren’t there, in your sunny kitchen, cooking one of your meals to share with him, a smile on your face as you greeted him entering. Instead of your smile greeting him, it was Hizashi, and Shouta lost his strength, gripping the doorframe as his slid to the ground, chest shaking in grief.

Hizashi quickly took the few steps that separated him and the crying man on the floor, sinking down to his level and grasping him by his arms, concern morphing his face. 

“This,” a sob stopped him from continuing, “this is her cooking, this is,” sob “this is the last time I’ll ever be able to eat something she made. I’m,” sob “I’m going to have to live the rest of my life without ever going to be able to taste her food again.” His body convulsed with the strength of his sorrow.

They cried together on the kitchen floor for a while, until the food had completely cooled. Hizashi lead Shouta to the table, sitting him down in his chair before picking up their plates and placing them in the microwave, warming them back up, until they once more had steam rising from them. 

He put the plate of food in front of your husband, placing fork in his hand, forgoing chopsticks for fear that Shouta would simply be too weak from his 4 days of laying in bed, forgoing food. 

Aizawa Shouta scooped up a small bite of the meal sitting in front of him, tentatively raising the fork before placing it in his mouth. As soon as the flavors hit his tongue he started silently crying again. He slowly ate, trying to savor every bite, ignoring the salty taste of his own tears as he swallowed. 

The blond watched him, while eating his own meal, tears came to his eyes as well, thinking about what his friend had said, this truly would be the last time he ate your cooking. Never again would he be invited over to your loving home, entering the warm environment you had made, and eating dinner with you and your friends. How you had loved to host little dinner parties for your friend group, those that you had known since your schooling days. He felt bad about being the only one of the group to get to eat your cooking one last time, so he took his time as well, wanting to enjoy it enough for everyone that wasn’t there with them in the room that was now cool and grey without your presence. 

When Shouta was done, he pushed his plate to the side and laid his head on crossed arms, trying to control his breathing as he cried, trying to be thankful that he got to taste it one last time, instead of only sorrowful that that would be the last time he would ever taste it.

“Shouta,” Hizashi started after a while of silence, “I have something to give you.” He got up from the table and walked to retrieve where he had hidden the box, and then returning and placing it between the two of them on the table.

“This is from her, from y/n”

The dark-haired man looked up, bleary eyes landing on the colorful box. “What is it?” he questioned.

“To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. Y/n just told me to give it to you if anything ever happened to her.” the green-eyed man answered. 

Shouta reached out and opened the box, reviling its contents. Letters.

part two

[poomphuripan]

rosyspell doesn’t have the special chapters of pbd. would you be able to summarize them? 💞💞

hi nonnie! of course i'd be happy to (o゜▽゜)o☆

full disclaimer: my knowledge of 188 novels is still limited so i might not cover all of the special chapters, these are just the ones i've been able to read/know due to the handful of vietnamese/english translations i've been accessible to.

so there are generally a lot of official extras: the written word extra chapters, additional material like interview with the characters, official chibi/cartoon au... which is why for this post i'll just focus on summarizing the post-canon extra chapters. i'll also be linking a few translations i found.

Post-canon extra chapters of Professional Body Double

(i read all of these post-canon extra chapters through a vietnamese translation here, you can google translate and get the gist of them)

Daily life a couple: Ming is sulky at Joe for always being so busy with work because he's busy himself but he can always spend time with Joe while Joe has a lot of projects to film. Joe coaxes Ming by agreeing to go on a short trip with him to the beach. They have kinky sex on the beach.

Period of Happiness: Joe surprises Ming by returning home early from his work trip. Joe hears the sounds coming from the bedroom while Ming quickly turns off what he was watching. Joe got curious so he secretly looks at what Ming had been watching, turns out Ming was watching old films which Joe 1.0 starred in. Joe feels conflicted, a bit envy of his old face, is kinda forlorn and down mood. Next morning, Ming notices something's wrong with Joe and apologizes profusely to Joe for watching films of Joe 1.0 while Joe is like it's fine (he was in fact, not fine). In the evening, Joe tells Ming he's gonna take a walk outside but Ming got all paranoid that Joe is still mad at him and starts crying and begging him to stay, promising he'll never watch films of Joe 1.0 again if Joe stays (all this kid knows is how to beg and cry lawd). Joe is like no he's just worried that Ming cannot fully accept his new look compared to his old one. Ming was like no he should be the one worrying here, worrying that one day Joe can get upset and leave him without saying goodbye like Joe once did. Ming does regret that he's never had a picture taken with Joe 1.0 but promises that he only loves the current Joe in front of him. They had hot emotional sex after resolving their conflict.

Injured Xiang-Ge: Joe gets injured on set and broke his rib a little bit. Ming immediately flies home to see Joe and take care of him. Ming expresses his fears and worries about what if one day Joe hits his head and lose all conciousness of Joe 1.0 or if Joe 2.0's soul return to this body. Joe reassures Ming that he will be more careful later on when filming.

New Year Vacation: A snowstorm hit the set where Joe is filming, causing a delay in production. Joe messages Ming to coax him about not being able to come back home in time to celebrate Lunar New Year with him. Ming surprises Joe at the hotel where he was staying to celebrate new year with him.

Jealous Little Gong: Ming is jealous over the news reporting about Joe's new film and dating rumors with his actress co-star. Joe is being sickenly sweet trying to coax Ming.

Summer Limited (adapted audiodrama here): famous actor Joe is invited to Italy for Milan Fashion Week, Ming is somewhere in Europe working around the same time so he received an invitation to the FW by the organizers to walk with Joe. Ming surprises Joe with his appearance and they're all lovey dovey with their public appearance at Joe's hesitance because it's implied that Ming's father still disapproves of his gay son.

Vacation in Munich in 2018 (english tl here): Joe takes some time off acting when he's at the height of his career to travelled with Ming to Germany where Ming is supposed to be working there for some time. They take a walk around the city one day and run into a female acquaintance of Ming. Basically Ming teases Joe about whether he's jealous, they're just being lovey and dovey bantering.

English translations of official AUs

ABO AU - read here Sentinel & Guide AU - read here

[nickfowlerrr]

pretty when you cry - chapter five

series masterlist / next chapter

*originally posted to @bellareadsandrecs on 02/23/22*

pairing: dark!biker!bucky x curvy!reader (dark!soulmate au)

warnings: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. assault. panic attack. anxiety. violence. injury. mentions of blood. if i’m missing anything please let me know!! 18+ ONLY.

words: 4.5k

notes: i’m so glad you guys are enjoying this series so far. thank you for the reblogs and comments and feedback, it makes me so happy to read your reactions and thoughts!! i love and appreciate you guys so much 💘

This is a DARK series!!! Please proceed with abundant caution.

“Someone’s in a hurry,”

“Move.”

“That’s not very polite, honey. Why don’t you try asking again, nicely.”

“Get the fuck out of my way,” you spoke through clenched teeth before his hands grabbed your arms, keeping you in place. “Get off me,” you bit as you tried to get out of his grasp as he pulled you outside. The street was pretty desolate for a Saturday night and left the two of you alone outside the bar.

“Still with those bad manners, I really thought Bucky’d fucked the attitude right out of you,” he said as he invaded your space even more and continued to tower over you.

You looked at him in shock at the words he just spoke. Your mouth was agape as you tried to take a breath and not give him the reaction he so clearly wanted. Though, you clearly didn’t do too great of a job at that from the telling smirk that spread across his lips.

“Oh, you didn’t think I knew? Buck and I, we go way back, since we were kids. We tell each other everything,”

You could feel the anger ignite within you as he spoke. “Aw, how sweet,” you said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “You two do make a really cute couple,”

You couldn’t help yourself from making the snide remark, even with the threatening look in his dark blue eyes. And then you could feel the anger now radiating off of him and it was making your skin crawl. There was no one around now, and you felt trapped. You felt really scared, actually. This was way different than how you had felt with Bucky the day before when he had done the same thing. Right now, you felt like you might be in danger, real danger.

Steve looked like he wanted to hurt you. His grip on your arms was bruising, and you felt slight relief as he let go of them for a moment, but then with his near full force, Steve shoved you harshly against the brick wall of the bar, you winced as the air was knocked right out of your lungs before, your head met the brick with a harsh crack as he lunged forward and growled in your face. His strength was comparable to that of Bucky’s, and he moved so swiftly, the impact of your body hitting the wall felt almost instantaneous with the hit to your head. You squeezed your eyes shut and reached behind you to feel your scalp. You heard a ringing in your ears and didn’t realize until he pulled away from you that it was his phone going off. You groaned slightly at the thumping of your head and when you pulled your hand away, you brought it to your face and saw blood on your palm.

“Son of a bitch,” you muttered with another pained groan.

The sound of Steve talking caught your attention and you thought you could hear yelling coming from the other end of the line. Steve had turned slightly as he spoke roughly to whoever had called him.

“Calm down, man. She’s fine. For now,” he said, turning around and glaring at you as he spoke the last two words. You swallowed thickly as you watched him continue his conversation. You thought briefly about running for your car while he seemed to be distracted from you - but your keys were in your bag that you not so conveniently dropped when you were shoved against the wall. There was no way you could grab it and get to your car before Steve would be able to stop you, not with the speed he so effortlessly moved at. You weren’t able to really follow the call he was on, what with the pounding still happening in your head, but you did catch the end of it before Steve returned his attention to you.

“I’m not promising she’ll get there unharmed with that attitude she can’t seem to shake, but she’ll get there so relax. And don’t kill the kid, he’s our top prospect. He’s growin’ on me.”

You watched him slide his phone back in his pocket as he turned on you once again.

“Don’t be dramatic. You’re fine,” he said gruffly as he saw the blood on your hand.

Your eyes snapped to him and you felt the anger surging through you once again, refusing to bite your tongue despite being shown just how easy it was to push him to violence.

“Yeah, no fucking thanks to you.”

In the blink of an eye, he was on you again. His harsh grip now on your jaw as he spit at you.

“Watch how you talk to me, doll face. Or you’re really gonna get yourself hurt.” he spoke before pushing your face away. “Let’s go,” he ordered as he reached down to grab your bag off the ground, shoving it into your chest.

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” you said as you grabbed your bag and searched for your keys. “I’m going home.” Your heart started to race as you began thinking back to the parts you heard of the conversation Steve had just had. Where exactly was he going to be making sure you went? Why was he even here in the first place. And where was Peter? You suddenly couldn’t focus as your breathing became hollow and ragged. You willed yourself to calm down but when Steve’s rough hands found your face again, any attempt at calm you had been making went out the window. He stared at you with a harsh guarded look in his eyes, but when you couldn’t hold eye contact with him and started to hyperventilate, he rolled his eyes, and though you couldn’t see it, they softened just the slightest. “Calm down. Breath. Slowly,” he instructed with a rough edge evident in his voice as he placed a hand on your chest and breathed with you until you calmed down the slightest. His phone was ringing again and he moved back away from you and allowed you some distance. “You are going home. I’m just here to make sure you get there. Buck didn’t want you waiting on Peter all night,” he said before answering the call.

“What now?” he said and you listened closely to see if you could hear the response on the other end.

Loud and clear you hear a growl emit from the phone as Bucky spoke angrily.

“What the fuck are you doing to her?” He roared and your heart rate started to pick back up, but not with fear or panic this time.

“Will you calm the fuck down, Bucky. I told you she’s fine.”

“Bull fucking shit, Rogers,”

You couldn’t help the upward twitch of your lips as Steve rolled his eyes and sighed heavily, “She’s heading to her car right now,” he said as he shot you another glare. “It’s not my fault the girl has a panic attack every five fucking seconds. But, she’s fine, she’ll be fine. I’m gonna follow her on my bike, and then I’m going to Nat’s and you’re gonna stop bugging me tonight.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you had nothing to do with that, right?” he snarked. “If you hurt her, I’m gonna kick your ass, Steve.”

“I’m sure you’ll try,” he scoffed. “That ended so well for both of us last time,” he chuckled.

“I had you and you know it,” you could almost hear the smile on Bucky’s lips as he laughed with his friend, the shift in both of their tones giving you whiplash. “Just text me before you leave when she gets there,”

“How long are you planning on being at the garage?”

“I’m almost done here. Shouldn’t be too long,”

“Make sure Peter gets his shit back. He’s got a job in the morning,”

“Yeah. He fucks that up and it’s on you. I still don’t like him,” Bucky grumbled as Steve started to walk to his bike. He waved his hand toward your car as he stared at you, annoyance clear on his face at the fact that you were still standing there. He turned and continued walking to his ride as he spoke.

“You don’t like him because you can’t see anything past this girl. How was he supposed to know she was off limits if you didn’t tell anyone? All you told them was to watch the diner, not that they were there to watch her,” you felt weird hearing that. You decided not to make Steve wait any longer for you to get to your car and you also didn’t think you wanted to hear any more of the conversation. Your head was hurting from the harsh collision with the brick wall and you just wanted to get home and shower, wash the blood out of your hair, and sleep. Well, maybe not sleep. There was a strong possibility that you had a concussion.

You tried to think as you walked to your car. It now made sense why those guys had suddenly been showing up at the diner all the time, Bucky had ordered them to. Ever since that night? You couldn’t pin down how you felt about that. Or how Steve said you were “off limits”. That Bucky couldn’t see anything past you. Something deep down in you felt at ease at the information. It felt like some kind of connection was tingling awake within you. It had been for weeks. Some kind of primal comfort settled over you. Bucky had been looking out for you. Your rational mind, though, had other thoughts. Who was he to be so all over you? He didn’t even know you. And if you needed protection from anyone, it was him and his pretty boy bestie. He had no right to try and stake any kind of claim over you. Acting as if you were all animals and he had marked you as his. His behavior was gross and dangerous. You knew that. It wasn’t something you could argue, it wasn’t an opinion, it was a fact. He was dangerous.

You climbed into your car and only started it when the roar of Steve’s bike startled you as he revved the engine impatiently waiting for you to start the drive to your house. You found yourself upset once again. If Bucky cared so much, why would he have Steve come by. He was volatile and short tempered. You would have been home by now, uninjured, if it wasn’t for him. Your head throbbed once again as you drove down the winding street leading you home. Bucky didn’t care, you concluded. Maybe he cared for you as an object, just another thing for him to claim as his, to have power over. But not for you as a person. And how could you expect him to? He didn’t know you and you didn’t know him. All you knew was what he showed you. And he hasn’t shown you anything but aggression, possessiveness, and lechery.

When you got home, after shutting off your car, you slammed your door, shooting daggers at Steve as he stalled in front of your house, waiting for you to go inside as you stomped your way to the front door, promptly slamming it shut and locking it after walking inside. You threw your bag and keys on the couch as you went straight to the bathroom to shower.

As you stood under the comfort of the warm running water, you gently began rinsing the blood from your hair. It wasn’t too bad, but head wounds all bleed worse than others. You felt the hard knot forming on your skull and tried not to wince as you ran your hands through your hair. Your head hurt. Your body hurt. But you could handle the pain. That physical, explainable, tangible, pain. You could take it. What you couldn’t take, was the inexplicable hurt that was emitting from your heart. The desperate longing for comfort. And fuck you for only thinking of Bucky. Since when was he someone you thought of when in need of comfort? Since when did you think of anyone when you needed comforting. Of course you had Eva, but you mostly dealt with your emotions on your own. You were never the type who liked to depend on others. You had you and that was always enough. So why didn’t it feel like enough now? You cursed yourself as you felt tears welling in your eyes, and despite your best efforts, they began to stream down your face as you tried to self soothe.

Thirty minutes later you were standing in your bedroom drying off your body and pulling on your black crop tank top and shorts pj set. You went looking for your hair brush, needing to brush it through before it dried tangled and caused you more pain. It was in your hands when your phone rang. Looking at the screen as your phone laid on your dresser, the caller id read “Maybe: Peter”. It was the number you had been texting earlier. Your brows furrowed. Why the hell was he calling now. You reached to answer but hesitated. Was this even Peter? You couldn’t be sure. But you wanted to know. If it was, you’d hopefully be given an answer as to what happened tonight.

You answered the phone with a soft, “Hello,” and waited for the caller to respond.

“Heya, sweetheart,” Bucky responded smoothly.

You took a sharp breath in before slowly exhaling, “Have I been texting you all day?”

“I told you you weren’t going out with Peter, I don’t know why you’re so surprised. I thought you’d have figured that out sooner,” he mused before continuing. “I was gonna let it go, the whole situation, but I thought better of that when you responded to my text, thinking it was Peter, agreeing to dinner after I told you you wouldn’t be going out with him. Didn’t want you waiting some place on a boy who wasn’t going to show up, so I figured keeping you at the bar until I was finished with him was the best course of action.

Wasn’t planning on it taking so long, but I had to get the message across to the boys that from now on anything you do or don’t do is my business. And my concern whether you want it to be or not,”

Him and his goddamn messages, you thought. “What do you mean? What did you do?”

“Nothing that’d upset you too much, no need to worry about it.”

“Bucky, wh-what is wrong with you?” you asked exasperated. “Peter didn’t do anything. We were going to meet up as friends. And why do you care anyway? Why won’t you just leave me alone?”

“I tried leaving you alone, I really did. But I just can’t seem to get you out of my head. There’s this pull. And I know you feel it, sweetheart,” he said. Suddenly, you heard your back door open and close. You uttered a “god damn it,” under your breath and heard him chuckle on the end of the line before he hung up. You dropped your towel and set your brush down before leaving your room. You were surprised that he didn’t immediately come find you. In fact, you had to walk to your kitchen to find him rifling through your cabinets.

“Get out,” you instructed sharply.

“You need to start locking that door, doll. I already told you, it’s not safe.” he said.

“Oh, right, because my safety is of the highest priority for you, huh?” you snarked. “And I do lock it. It, the lock - or the bolt - I don’t know, it’s loose,” you added with a grumble now avoiding his harsh glare at you.

He walked up to you as you cast your gaze to the floor. You didn’t move an inch as he approached. He tilted your chin up to meet his eye.

As his thumb gently caressed your cheek, he asked, “Do you believe what they say about soulmates?”

You tried to turn your head away from his touch, “Wh- I- No. No, I don’t. You need to leave,” you said as you pushed away from him.

“I didn’t either. Thought it was a load of bullshit. Never met anyone I believed when they claimed it to be true. Have you?”

“No.”

“No,” he hummed. “You know they say in a true connection, there’s a sort of sixth sense that connects you to your soulmate. One of you can feel when the other is in danger or distress, and there’s an instinctual need between the both of you to be around one another. Comfort each other. Be with each other, no matter what. They also say for the other that it’s impossible to physically harm your soulmate with intention. So why don’t you do me a favor, sweetheart,” he said as he reached for your hand and formed it into a fist, then brought it up while maintaining eye contact with you. “Hit me,” he said.

You furrowed your brow as you stared at him. “Wh-what?” you stuttered out.

“Hit me.” he said sternly. “Come on, now, you know you want to,” he taunted before letting you drop your hand.

You grit your teeth as you clenched your fist harder. But you made no move to hit him, you were sure a punch from you across his jaw would probably just feel like a tickle to him, but you still couldn’t will yourself to do it. You only managed to stare at him as you struggled internally.

“That’s what I thought,” he whispered as he grabbed your fist, relaxing your hand and bringing it to his lips where he placed a kiss. “You can’t, can you?

At first, I thought maybe I was going soft. All these feelings I keep having since I met you, I didn’t know where they were coming from. But I thought about it, and kept thinking about it. Keep thinking about you. And then I realized, these feelings aren’t mine. They’re yours. I can feel every time you’re in distress, which is often,”

“Which is often, because of you,” you interrupted.

“That night at the bar, I felt something was wrong, that’s why I went outside. That’s when I saw you with your hands all over my bike,” he laughed, “Funny how things work out,”

“You call this working out?” you bit.

“I felt you tonight, too. What happened?” he asked, ignoring your remark.

“Please don’t act like you care. You don’t even know me. You fucked me once and then, what, started stalking me? Getting people to watch me while I’m at work. Sending your lunatic guard dog to follow me home tonight like some fucked up security detail. You don’t just get to decide to take over my life, okay. I can go where I want to go, and I can do what I want to do with whoever I want. You don’t get to claim I’m yours or that I’m “off limits”. I am not yours.” you ranted at him while he stared at you unfazed.

“We’re soulmates, pretty girl. Why do you think I’m here right now? I felt you having yet another freak out, in fact, I can still feel you freaking out. So you need to calm down, relax. Tell me what happened earlier.” He said while he moved in closer to you, making you back up into the living room, your backside eventually meeting the back of the couch and stopping you from moving further away from him.

“Relax? You want me to relax? All you’ve done since we met is threaten, insult, and assault me. And I’m supposed to be relaxed around you now just because - what- we’re soulmates? No. No, that’s not how that works, asshole.” Bucky just smiled in response.

“I was wrong about you, wasn’t I. You don’t pretend to be a good girl. No, you pretend to be tougher than you really are. But you’re soft. Fragile. Innocent. I’ve never been the mushy type, but there’s obviously a reason why I’m the one who can sense when you’re in need and not the other way around. You need to be protected, doll. You need me.”

“The only thing I need protection from is you.”

“Well, that’s not true. I’m not gonna hurt you, sweetheart. I’d never dream of it,”

“Are you just trying to be funny or are you really that deluded?”

“I’m not gonna hurt you, again - is that better?”

“No,” you growled incredulously.

“What if I said I was sorry?”

“You’re not sorry. If we weren’t soulmates, you would have forgotten all about me by now.”

“But we are soulmates. We were made to love each other. It would’ve happened one way or another,”

“Love?” you laughed humorlessly. “So much for not being the mushy type,”

“You’re being real mean, sweetheart. I’m trying to-”

“I don’t care what you’re trying to do, Bucky. You think this is okay, any of this, really? Soulmate or not, you assaulted me and I quite literally couldn’t do a damn thing about it. I’m just supposed to let that go? What kind of person does that to someone, huh? How are you expecting me to be okay with this? To want this?” You could feel the pressure at the back of your skull pounding once again as you got more worked up but tried to ignore it.

“I don’t really think either of us have a choice. I feel you and you feel me, I know you do. This isn’t gonna just go away. You’re mine, sweetheart. And I’m yours whether you want me or not.”

“Or not.”

“So you keep saying. But I gotta be honest, I don’t really believe that to be true.”

“I want you to leave. Right now,” you said as you tensed at the pain growing ten fold in your head.

“I know you’re angry,” he said softly as he nuzzled into the crook of your neck while you huffed and puffed like an insolent child. “But I need you to know that I never would have done what I did if we didn’t have this connection, Y/N. I saw you that night and from the second we locked eyes, I knew I was fucked. All night I had you on my mind. And all the next day. You were driving me crazy. I couldn’t think about anything, anyone, else. I tried so hard to fight it, I swear, I did. Felt like you were taking over my every thought and I - fuck - I’ve never felt this way before. Ever,” he whispered as he pulled away from your neck to look you in the eyes. “I don’t know, I just thought I could get you out of my head. Have you and then get over it. But that didn’t work out too well for me. Just made everything so much more intense.”

“That doesn’t make it okay. You hurt me,” you whispered back. He nodded softly in agreement before he spoke again.

“I’m sorry,”

“That doesn’t make it okay, either. And I know this isn’t just going to go away. I know that. But that doesn’t place any kind of obligation on either of us to just suddenly be in love and be together.”

“Obligation?”

“I remember every word you said to me. You don’t really want me. You pinched my stomach and said I wasn’t your type. Being soulmates doesn’t change that.,”

“I know what I said. I was just trying to convince myself that I didn’t want you- need you- as badly as I do. It was a dick move.”

“Yeah, it was a dick move - and you’re always a dick. And I’m not just magically going to get over it,” you continued as he wrapped his arms around you and returned to nestling into your neck as you felt a tear slip down your cheek. You hadn’t even noticed you had started to cry, but when you moved to wipe the tear away, Bucky looked up to you.

“Don’t cry, sweetheart,” he uttered as he placed a gentle kiss on your cheek.

“I need you - to go.. please.”

“Okay. I’ll go. Just tell me what happened tonight,” he bargained. It was quiet for a moment before you spoke.

“You could feel it, hm? That’s why you called him?” you questioned as you refused to look into the dark depths of his cerulean eyes. He was still close, so close. Too close for comfort. But fuck, that wasn’t true, because it was comforting. You saw him nod from the corner of your eye and felt the movement against your neck as you stared down at your feet. “The first time or the second?” you breathed.

“Both.” he said with a strained voice. You could feel him growing agitated, though you knew it wasn’t at you. You recalled the way he spoke to Steve earlier on the phone and for a second, you thought, maybe. Maybe he does care.

“The first time, he shoved me into the wall outside the bar,” you swallowed. “Knocked the wind out of me and hit my head.” You answered as he clenched his jaw tightly, and moved away from your neck, standing to his full height, towering over you as you stayed where you were against the couch, his arms still wrapped around you keeping you close to his body.

“The second time, I think I just had a panic attack. I didn’t know what he was there for, and I couldn’t.. focus with the pounding and I, I just started panicking,” you admitted quietly, though you didn’t know why, that’s not something you’d ever tell anyone. You hated talking about your attacks and it was bad enough when they happened in front of other people, you didn’t really tell anyone else if you didn’t need to. He just nodded his head in understanding and then moved his hands up to hold your head. You winced as he touched the knot growing on the back of your skull, still not looking at him.

He moved away from the bump and started gently running his hands through your still damp hair, untangling some of the knots with his fingers before leaning down and placing a kiss on the top of your head.

“He won’t hurt you again, doll. I promise,” he said as he raised your chin to make you meet his eye. He caressed your cheek before he pulled away, heading to the back door. “Have a good night, y/n.”

You sat there with your lips parted in a goodbye before snapping them shut with the closing of the door behind Bucky’s exit. Why is everything so confusing? Why couldn’t this just be simple. Sweet. Like you imagined it would be as a little girl before giving up on the idea of ever meeting your soulmate. Hell, before you gave up on the idea that you even had a soulmate to begin with.

You knew that Bucky was no knight in shining armor. If anything he was a villain.The one you needed saving from. Logically. But your heart and mind were at war with each other and the logical side of you was losing.

[rocksandmirrors]

this is something i wrote a couple weeks ago based on the second art of this post i've made, but i didn't feel like posting it on ao3. hope you enjoy!! the wonderful @sapphic--kiwi inspired me to write this, make sure to check out her blog as well <3 she's a very talented artist and writer

also watch out for body issues and internalized fatphobia

Matt couldn’t stand to see his reflection anymore.

He should have seen it coming, though; with all the work he had been doing for the last years, and being able to eat his fill every day, it was obvious he would gain weight. Yet, now that he stared at himself in the mirror, all he could see was the extra pounds that didn’t have to be there. He knew this was silly, but an immature part of him hoped he could have looked like these constructionist witches in the shows he watched, attractive and shaped like a V.

Grimacing, he pinched a bulge on his stomach and let out a groan. He hated looking like this, especially when he was so skinny just a couple years ago. Maybe he could skip breakfast, just for today. He wasn’t that hungry anyway.

Shaking his head to try and think about something else, Matt reached out to the cabinet above the sink until he saw Augustus’ reflection in the mirror, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. He froze as they locked eyes, and he prayed he hadn’t seen too much of him wallowing in his misery.

“Hey,” he mumbled, finally opening the cabinet to grab his hairbrush. “Sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Nah.” Matt heard footsteps behind him, and a few seconds later, felt a pair of arms around his waist, as well Augustus’ warmth against his back, and his chin on his shoulder. “You’re up earlier than usual.”

“Eh, I just woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep. Figured I could get prepared for work, at least.”

Augustus’ hands wandered around his stomach and hips- areas of his body that he hated more than anything- and he repressed the urge to push them away. Instead, he started brushing his hair, slowly, untying all the knots one by one. He had two hours left before leaving, might as well take his time.

“Matty, are you okay?” he asked, slumber still staining his voice.

“M’yeah. Sort of.” When he met Augustus’ eyes again through the mirror, he sighed. “No, not really.”

“I know. I saw you.”

Yeah, he figured as much. His fiance had that talent for always being at the wrong place, at the wrong time. He put his hairbrush down next to the sink, still staring at their reflections.

“Of course you saw me. There’s nothing else to see about me but… this,” he added, disgust dripping in his tone.

“Don’t talk about yourself like that.”

“Like what? Like I became fucking ugly? Someone here has to, because you sure as hell aren’t doing it.”

Matt was getting worked up over pretty much nothing and arguing with a brick wall; he knew that, yet couldn’t help it. Just thinking about the way his body had changed over the last years made him feel miserable and fall back into his old self-deprecating ways, aggressive towards someone who didn’t ask for it.

“You’re not ugly,” Augustus argued, leaving a peck on his jaw. “You’ve never been.”

“Augustus, you don’t need to rub me up the right way. I know I’ve changed, I mean- you’ve seen me at seventeen, look at me now! I was in much better shape back then!”

“Were you?”

“Do you really need me to make an illusion of my old self to compare?” He asked, arching an eyebrow.

Augustus shook his head, his hands still rubbing the parts of his body he hated the most. Matt just wanted this conversation to end, to go on about his day and shove that brief moment of vulnerability into a corner of his mind so he could forget about it. As much as he hated his current appearance, he never intended for his lover to listen to him vent about his body issues first thing in the morning.

“Matt, you had nothing to eat as a teen, of course you were skinnier. Hell, I’ve seen you digging through trash at school just to have lunch.”

“Yeah, but-”

“You’ve grown up. You’re doing a lot more physical work, and like it or not, you can’t keep your teen body all your life.” One of Augustus’ hands moved up to his torso. “If you really want to lose weight someday, I’ll support you, but I want you to know I also love how you look right now, because you’re just as healthy and handsome. Frankly, I’m happy to see you like this.”

Matt’s breath got stuck in his throat, and his eyes widened at these words. He knew Augustus tended to be clingier than usual whenever he lacked some sleep, but he still needed to get used to all the praise that came with it.

“I don’t really see it,” he admitted with a shrug.

“That’s okay. I don’t expect you to get over this right away.” The younger witch left another kiss, this time at the nape of his neck, and a shiver ran down his spine. “But trust me, if you could see yourself the way I see you, you’d marry yourself in a heartbeat.”

Matt could feel- and see- all the blood rushing to his face, and suddenly, the warm hands wandering on his body didn’t bother him as much- they felt loving, tender, worshiping every part of the body he still struggled to accept as it was. He leaned into Augustus, still standing behind him, and the arms around him wrapped themselves tighter.

“Are you feeling any better?” He asked.

“I… Yeah, actually. Thanks, babe.”

“No problem.” Augustus left one last peck on the shell of his ear before stepping back, and Matt immediately missed his warmth. “Since we’re both awake, I’m gonna make some coffee. Do you want some?”

“You know it.” Matt turned around to face him, offering him a tired smile. “Let me make you breakfast, yeah?”

“Don't worry, I’m not touching any pans in this kitchen,” he yawned as he left the bathroom.

Matt watched his fiance walk away, then turned back to his reflection. Half of his hair had been brushed, the bags under his eyes were a little more prominent than usual, contrasting with his crimson face, and his shirt was a little crinkled from where Augustus had been touching him. He pinched a bulge on his stomach again, poking at the fat here and there with a faint smile.

Maybe he could indulge in breakfast today.

[sprout-fics]

I dont know if this’ll make sense so I will try my best, but I hope in the end it’ll just help ease the anxiety you might have cause I’m normally a silent observer and like watching and reading and enjoying from afar

But you know Christmas cacti? It’s a plain little succulent that quietly makes a space in your home green and pleasant? But during the cold months it’ll make these bright beautiful flowers that are just so vibrant and pretty compared to the leaves and it’s hard not to look at cause gosh is it pretty. And they’ll stay for some time, a good couple of weeks, and then the blooms will fall off and it’s back to its sleepy self again till next season.

That’s how I come to this blog, and your writing. It’s so lovely, even when you haven’t posted anything. It’s a comfort to come back to and I enjoy each and every time cause it was great from the beginning. And when you post something new, it’s so exciting and I come running.

So if you find yourself just wanting to sit back, not posting so often, I’m very sure so many of us will come flocking to your writings or posts anyways cause even if it doesn’t last long or forever or it’s only a short time, we’ll enjoy what you have to give cause it’s a treat every single time. Like a Christmas cactus

Does that make sense? Anyways. I will always look forward for what you have to give, even if it’s weeks, months, or years in between each release of anything. Cause it’s worth it to me and it’ll feel just as good as the first, second, and third time, ya know?

Happy belated birthday, sorry I didn’t say it sooner, but take care of yourself. You deserve every good that you get so take it! 😊

I've read this message several times within the past day. I think it's one of the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful messages I've ever had the pleasure to receive. I wish I had words to express how much I cherish it. I am so honored to be the recipient of this.

I used to feel the same way about this blog. It was a shelter from the rainstorm, a gentle place to land. Now, it makes me anxious and nervous- like being thrust outside into a gale and not knowing where to go. I think it's time I take a long, very long break. I tried to take one a little bit ago, but I don't think it solved the root issue of why I'm not enjoying myself, whatever that may be. I wish I knew. I wish I knew so I could fix it.

I'll be gone for a while. I'll still be uploading to ao3, but I don't find myself having the energy to crosspost here anymore. I'm not going to stop writing, but I am going to start doing it in a way where I'm writing for myself again, and not for others. I need to find the thing that made me start writing in the first place, so that if and when I come back, it will be through joy, not through an obligation of doing things just to do them. I have to stop treating myself like a content machine.

I'll still reblog things to @sprout-fics-reblogs probably. I like being here and seeing others' art and fics. I just won't be posting myself. I think I'm going to turn off asks as well. Just trying to shrink down and allow this blog to go dormant.

I appreciate every single person who has reached out to me. I have so many kind people following me and I think I take that for granted sometimes. Thank you. If you want to reach out to me, feel free to DM me, and I'll send you my discord.

Talk soon. Thank you. I love you. Bye.

[magicfootballstuff]

Distractions (leila ouahabi x reader)

You can’t keep your eyes off Leila.

You’ve always known that Leila is pretty - she caught your eye as soon as she first joined Manchester City in the summer - but right now, under the dimmed restaurant lighting, she’s a Spanish goddess with a perfect smile and gorgeous tanned collar bones you’d love to run your lips over…

Wait, what?

It’s a team night out, a weekend without a match that most of the Man City girls have decided to use as an excuse to get glammed up and bond with each other over a fancy meal and a couple of cocktails.

Leila, who sits opposite you, is wearing a white tailored jacket that only emphasises the olive tone of her skin. The jacket itself is not the problem but the fact that she’s not wearing anything underneath it means that the deep ‘V’ from her shoulders down to the button that fastens it together shows off her long neck and way too much skin.

Hence the collar bone problem. Your little gay brain is finding it quite hard to concentrate on the delicious, but comparatively uninteresting meal on the plate in front of you.

Leila throws her head back as she laughs at something that Laia says, and you’re once again captivated, unaware of anything except the way the muscles in Leila’s neck move as she laughs.

“Are you okay?” Leila asks, when she notices you looking at her.

“Mm hmm,” you hum, with a nod, trying to compose yourself. “I was just thinking that your jacket is really nice.”

It’s a poor escape, but Leila seems to buy it.

“You like it?” she asks, as if she hasn’t yet realised that she looks like the reincarnation of a goddess.

“I…” you stammer, unable to find the words, before you settle for, “You look incredible, Leila.”

She smiles, disarming you and knocking the air out of your lungs with a single look, before she replies, “Thanks. So do you.”

Her foot brushes against yours under the table but instead of moving it away, she leaves it where it is, your ankles touching as she turns back to Laia and starts chatting in animated Spanish once more.

If Leila knows what effect she’s having on you, then she doesn’t show it.

———

You somehow make it through dinner. When you’ve all finished eating and there’s a discussion taking place at the other end of the table about whether to stay here for one more drink or move to another bar nearby, you excuse yourself from the table and head into the bathroom, where you stand in front of the mirror and adjust your hair.

Not even thirty seconds later, the bathroom door opens behind you and Leila steps inside. She says nothing, but stands at the sink next to you and starts to touch up her eye makeup in the mirror. You freeze, one hand caught in your hair, staring at Leila’s reflection. When she realises you’re watching her, she makes eye contact and smirks.

“Don’t give me that look,” you warn her.

“What look?”

“The ‘I want to kiss you’ look.”

Leila turns, leaning against the sink with her arms folded across her chest.

“But I do want to kiss you.”

“Then just fucking kiss me.”

Leila steps into your personal space and does exactly that. She might be a massive tease when she wants to be, but there’s a thrill to knowing that she wants you just as much as you want her.

You don’t really know how to label what you have with Leila. It started as a spark during training, something you tried to ignore so that it wouldn't complicate the team dynamic, but now it’s been three dates, several days off spent hanging out together and quite a few sleepovers at both your apartments. You really like the direction it’s moving in, even if it seems like an impossible task to admit aloud just how much she’s starting to mean to you.

Kissing Leila, however, is easy.

She smiles against your lips, clearly pleased with her attempts at teasing you all evening. You bite her lower lip in response, and she gasps, and suddenly you have the upper hand. You use it to flip your positions, spinning Leila until her back is against the sink, your hands on her hips as your hungry mouth seeks out hers for more desperate kisses.

You pull away, but only far enough to see that Leila’s pupils are blown wide and her lip gloss is smudged. You know you probably look just as wild.

“Do you know what this outfit has been doing to me?” you ask, hands sliding up her front to hold the lapels of her jacket.

“Show me,” Leila challenges you.

“Oh, I intend to,” you promise, as you lean in for another kiss.

The door crashes open and you leap apart, your hand coming up to fix your hair where Leila has mussed it up. It’s Lauren, who stops in her tracks, eyes flitting between you and Leila, who looks equally as just-kissed as you feel.

Sure enough, Lauren must immediately know what she’s interrupted, because she looks at the floor as she hurries into a cubicle and says, “Don’t mind me. I’m not here!”

Leila looks at you, eyes still dark with lust, but the moment has passed so she shrugs and gestures towards the door.

“I’ll just…”

You reach out, touching Leila’s face to wipe away a little smear of lip gloss at the corner of her mouth, then say, “See you back out there I guess.”

Leila returns to the restaurant and you, actually needing the bathroom, as well as a moment to compose yourself before you rejoin the rest of the team, disappear into one of the cubicles. You do your business, then flush the toilet and emerge at the same time as Lauren, who makes eye contact with you in the mirror over the sinks and smirks.

“So, you and Leila, huh?”

You stay silent.

“I did wonder why you hardly touched your food but that explains a lot. Hungry for something else?”

“Piss off, Hempo,” you quip back, and Lauren sniggers.

“How long has this been a thing?”

“A few weeks,” you answer.

“Is it serious?”

“We’re just seeing where it goes.” You add as an afterthought, “It’s important to us, if you’re wondering why we haven’t told anyone yet. But Leila didn’t want it to be team gossip while she’s still finding her feet in Manchester.”

“I understand,” Lauren nods. “I won’t say anything to the rest of the girls.”

“Thanks.”

“For the record, I think you’re really cute together.”

You smile at Lauren’s reflection.

“I know I’m biased, but I think so too,” you tell her. “She makes me very happy.”

Lauren grins and drapes an arm around your shoulder as you walk back to the bathroom door.

“That’s so gay,” Lauren says.

“Shut up,” you mumble back, though not even Lauren’s teasing can pop the bubble of euphoria that you’ve been living in ever since you and Leila first started flirting with each other.

As you return to the rest of the team and sit down again opposite Leila, she says nothing but arches a questioning eyebrow

“All good,” you tell her.

Leila looks away but her foot finds yours beneath the table again, a small comfort and a big tease all in one. Your breath hitches, still worked up from the kiss in the bathroom, and though she’s not looking at you, the way her mouth twitches ever so slightly at the corner confirms what you thought.

Leila knows exactly what she’s doing to you.