This is actually a cropped version of the drawing but uh more sad and tired hels cause like.. me too
I referenced someone else's drawing for the pose and it ended up looking too similar so I didn't want to post the whole thing :') I (mostly) just cropped my sona out though so dw you aren't missing any helsknight content
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I'm keeping this somewhat on a back burner because I think I need more data, but I feel like a current boundary being tested in actual play, for TTRPGs that are, for lack of a better way to put it, party-based and ostensibly heroic, is exploring in-game whether the PCs might be the bad guys or even just neutral guys who are not up to the task. (For this reason, "evil" campaigns do not count here, since those aren't about exploring it as a possibility but instead are simply stating that's the situation - I'm looking for the doubt and realization).
I feel like fans (and some GMs and players) get really skittish about this as a possibility, which is unfortunate because it's one of the most interesting things you can do.
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pallas in book one is definitely at it-cannot-possibly-get-worse-than-this ABSOLUTE rock bottom but god. there is such a specific flavour to their despair in book two that only happens because of the realization they have at the end of lay me down. like. how do you move on after admitting that everything you believed in was a lie. how do you live with what you’ve done (with what has been done to you). is it possible to pull yourself up out of the pit you’ve dug. what do you do if it isn’t. what do you do if it IS. and once you look at the damage how do you stop looking. past the first layer of hurt there’s just more and more hurt and you were used by the one person who was supposed to keep you safe to cause even MORE pain and no matter how deep you go none of it means anything! it never meant anything at all!! motherfucker your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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