#I need to use that when applicable
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Starscream keeps coming back from things that should have killed him. Queue the zombie jokes!
But then, he keeps coming back. Again, and again.
He can replace that bit of plating but it keeps falling off. His protoform is loose where he's been blown up/stabbed/shot/crushed/smelted. His optics don't light up properly.
He can't stand the energon rations anymore. He needs something else. He can't put his finger on it.
It shocks both sides of the war when Starscream carves into *insert bot here* and starts drinking their energon, or eating pieces of their frame, or hell even goes for the processor.
Uh oh guys.
Starscream keeps coming back
Oh god exactly that'd be fucked
There's a lot of things we can call the new Starscream. A zombie, a terrorcon, an energon vampire, a sparkeater, plain old a monster...
But at this point?
He's just... New Starscream. He'll go down as his own horror in cybertronian history and mythology. A cautionary tale against whatever mecha can come up with after the fact, to try and explain why, to explain the hows and whats of it all.
Some say he's still out there.
#transformers#maccadam#robogore#tw robogore#i need a cannibalism tag#canniballism#I need to use that when applicable#Starscream#big fan of monstrous versions of characters
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blessed be (lorscher bienensegen) | telling the bees (wiþ ymbe)
"Bees" [remixed, abridged], Claudia Emerson // "Letter to Someone Living Fifty Years from Now" [remixed. abridged], Matthew Olzmann // "Letter to my Great, Great Grandchild" [remixed, abridged], J.P. Grasser | Len Redkole, Nina Weiss, Brian Babineau, Christian Peterson, Mitchell Leff, Dave Isaac, Megan DeRuchie
#liv in the replies#if i were insane there would be an appendix to this called telling the bees however i finished this at 3am yesterday its nearly midnight &#my cutoff is when my ahl asg stream cuts. GOD by now i should know when i save a poem like hmm. not applicable but god it'd be perfect#THAT'S A CURSE. DON'T PUT IT IN THE DOCUMENT. DON'T SAVE IT. FORGET YOU READ IT. IT'S A CURSE!! <- things i should've told myself when i#went to read bees was already like 👀 &then the first line was FUCKING CLAUDE!!!!! anyway. sorry also this is like. insanely long but ALSO#regarding mf claude. the first picture is a leftover from the claude edit i made years ago so that feels GREAT and BEAUTIFUL & also for me#as ever y'all will be getting a full breakdown. starting with what i regularly have a breakdown about every time i see it which is joelle's#james 1:12 tattoo which if u use the king james version (gay) is blessed is he who perseveres under trial because having stood the test he#will receive the crown of life the lord has promised to those who love him. which i always go blessed is he who perseveres // for those who#love him. and that's joel. ignoring him getting it then getting sent down on his birthday IGNORING IT. also we know the frosty/maple leafs#hahaha fuck the flyers lore right? good. that's morgan and his dad also bc i love a baby picture & it was perfect. also the dave isaac pic#next was in an article talking about morgan 'stung' by draft camp. shut UP. i have an alt for tells him with claude and ALSO hate the#elephant w/phil bc myesie u fuckin leaf-eater (giraffe) but i love the composition of that jake shot & had to use it (it was also almost#tells him) with thylacine jakey frog nolan also raff the extinct whale bc i needed him here. if my editing on incapable of joy is bad no on#tell me i did some SHENANIGANS to put morgan in there & color-pick/alter his jersey. new skill. i think euphoria is one of my favorite for#the sake of pride night but ALSO that polaroid kills me very time &they're so stoners contemplate the universe but ALSO i love transcendenc#so that whole three photo string i think is my favorite. and i was in looking at these like listen okay it's okay there are only so many#photos in the world. you can repeat from others you've seen before. except ALSO there's so many of these freaks together do you separate#and every time i was like there can't be more there was more. don't ask the number of back-ups for the sweetest blossom/pinch/ruffle sets#okay also the ready to be stung one was a surprise favorite fit for me because i love that line but wasn't sure how to convey it? so it's o#i think with how morgan's face is and the almost of it all. yes joel hardest trier is in there purely for me i do have an alt but. how coul#u doubt him. insert sasha's tweet abt how much joel loves philly but all his quotes have been abt being excited for morgan to have a fresh#start. AND NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES IN CALGARY AND YOU'RE STILL INSEPARABLE god i literally googled frost farabee calgary to find the last#blessed [because. heard but not seen you know of everyone traded but you went together. not seen. (which ties into the terrible appendix)]#and IT DIDN'T EVEN TAKE ME TWO MINUTES TO FIND THAT!!! WHAT DO YOU MEANNN anyway. sorry again it's so long & also i will be vanishing a wee#& a half after posting [redacted] is kicking my ass & im doing [redacted fun things WAIT ACTUALLY U CAN KNOW ONE i'm seeing hippo campus]#morgan frost#joel farabee#philadelphia flyers#calgary flames
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I'm curious-- why did Til We Have Faces fall short in your book?
Ooh yay I get to rant. XD
Short version: I’m not the target audience for it. I’ve never been a fan of mythology (and this myth is in particular is abhorrent to me for the sheer reactionary ICK I feel when thinking about a woman sleeping with someone she’s not even allowed to see).
Longer version: it’s probably influenced by how little I like the myth, so do take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I found most of the theology iffy at best. Trying to make a story with not only multiple gods but multiple gods with opposing goals (at least in the original myth, I don’t remember getting a clear understanding of how Ungit and the god of the mountain even work but it did still seem like their goals were not aligned) and make it say anything True without muddling things just doesn’t work for me.
Aside from the myth, the story itself depressed me and I only kept reading because I thought “this book is so highly praised it *has* to get better” and to me it just kept getting worse. I was reading it initially for a reading group but I decided to go ahead and finish it early rather than drag it out a chapter a week because every time I finished a chapter I would end up in such a bad mood, hating everything. I was hoping the ending would make up for it somehow, only the ending itself was deeply unsatisfying to me. It may have worked better if it’d shown something like Ungit being a false god, and falsely attributed to being the god of the mountain’s mother, but the god of the mountain being the true God. Maybe. I probably wouldn’t have liked it any better, but it may have helped the sense of wrongness I had with the book that I consider separate from my vehement distaste for it. Or even something like Ungit not being someone to be worshipped directly but a forerunner in a sense of the god of the mountain in the same way that Lewis saw the pagan beliefs as being preparation for the acceptance of Christianity. It could be that him setting Glome within our world is also not helping matters.
In short, it doesn’t completely destroy my opinion of someone’s taste if I find out they liked it, and if God has used it positively in someone’s life that’s great! But you couldn’t pay me to reread it and put myself through that again.
#I do have more examples of things I didn’t like but to show them accurately might involve me picking up a copy again and that I will not do#the two quotes I’d seen and liked before reading#(The Fox’s comment about the art and joy of words and Psyche’s “the sweetest thing in all my life” etc.)#I disliked in context and now I hiss when I see them#I once saw someone call TWHF something like…#the female version of the screwtape letters#and I was like#Um. I don’t need a specially rewritten screwtape letters just because the screwtape letters was dealing with the temptation of a man#Instead of a woman#I found the screwtape letters plenty applicable already#And I also saw someone describe it as The adult Susan story that Lewis thought it would take to bring her back to faith#And to that I was like#Girl I think one of us may be struggling with reading comprehension and I don’t think it’s me#Though I admit I’m still not sure what’s even up with Ungit. This uglified beauty goddess who never does anything worthy of adoration#but worshiping her is still shown as a positive thing in the text???#Idk Okay I’m done#My asks#TWHF (derogatory)
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I tried drawing reeda because I love her. I have no idea what you had in mind for her design so I just re-read the chapter and went off of what your description was the best that I could. She gives me Painter vibes from pressure

I LOVE THISSSSSSSSSSSSS THANK YOU!!!!!! Ford absolutely has a mini monitor like this in each room so he can see its messages!
Honestly REEDA's main design in my head fits Ford's lab, so it's a very retro cassette-futuristic style like you've illustrated. Think: how did people imagine the future was going to look in 197-something. All Commodores and IBM and thick plastic etc.
Ford's lab in mtb is designed with that exact aesthetic in mind, so terminals and things like this were at the forefront of my mind:
These types of terminals are primarily in the mainframe room that Reader goes through to access the lab. It's all set up with things like the above. Whereas REEDA's central screens in the main body of the lab look more like the ones in The Forbin Project:
Except they're a mix of both of those aesthetics, so they're weirdly long CRT monitors suspended in a similar layout to the above!
Here's another ss from Forbin bc it works along similar lines! And also it's a great movie and you should watch it!
#i really honestly think Ford's favourite movie is Alien#and so in mtb he just wanted a cool Nostromo type lab#and i thought the idea was funny and cute and in character so#also b u t t o n s#i think he's also incredibly nostalgic for a time he left behind and even though he dislikes tech when he leaves#he HAS to make use of it in alternate dimensions so grows a grudging acceptance for it#and i think he's AWFUL with earth tech and when he comes back and sees how minimalist everything is he hates it even more#but he's forced to engage with alien tech in his travels so he becomes used to it a bit more#and so he combines that aesthetic nostalgia with the advanced ability of alien tech#which is how he designs his lab#he prefers old-style ways of recording (his journals) but he knows he HAS to make use of digital record keeping to some extent#and he's come to understand its applications in foreign environments#so while he still records everything on paper#he utilises other aspects of tech if he has to#but he complains about it the whole time and he'd really just be happy with 8000 filing cabinets of a4 and a biro#but really considering all the information he retains and works on it means he needs a specialist set up#anyways shut UP fox we get it you like worldbuilding for this guy UGH enough#asks#ford asks#wb#mtb stuff#ALSO we do see that he makes use of tech in LL and so I think he makes himself get on with it where he has to#just to defend myself a bit#bc i know some people think he'd be very tech-phobic in general#but i disagree to a certain extent#like yes but actually also no#AND remember that Fidds installed REEDA#ford had no say in it#he just begrudgingly goes along with it and gradually learns that actually its quite useful (though he won't admit it)#anways I digress that was a real tirade for no real reason im just very passionate about Ford's experiences with alien tech
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what's with that "fucked up ships" poll having both utenanthy and . akio and anthy in it. like huhwhat.
#what definition of “fucked up” are we going for here because i don't think those belong in. the same category of.. anything??#also. people calling akio and anthy a “ship” just rubs me the wrong way to begin with.#not because i necessarily think it means people are romanticizing it because i know there are 5000 different definitions of the word#but just because it makes it out to be some kind of fandom thing instead of just. you know. a part of the show?#like do we really need a fandom-ified word for every time there is a relationship protrayed in a story.#i'm not a fan of calling utenanthy a ship either for similar reasons but at least i know what people mean when they say it#(and yes i know “ship” is just a shortened form of “relationship” but they do have different connotations and it just pisses me off a little#when people seem to be allergic to using the full word in contexts where it is a lot more applicable.#that's just me being a fandom/shipping culture hater though)
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Girls I need Caleb in like a morally questionable way I fear
#ya know how he feels like. entitled to mc heh#so like he’s just gonna take it whenever he wants#see when I say cnc I MEAN cnc. HARD.#I wanna be crying begging him to stop but he doesn’t stop not until I use the safe word at least not that I will#like I need him diabolically it’s so. I. it’s so. I just want him to take it bro like take me any time anywhere free use go hard let’s go#idk drug me n shi keep me pliant and ready for u etc etc etc#this is only applicable to Caleb btw#someone does that irl I’m calling the cops#love and deepspace caleb
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the problem with tangle is she was written as an s tier character out of the gate, so you can’t really give her a character arc. she’s at the peak. you have to make her worse in order to make her better
#talking about how tangle physically - emotionally - intelligently - was great in all those categories#strong & agile & able to keep up with sonic’s friends; fight badniks already; even tackle super badniks or at least help to#emotionally? T&W. issue 24 in an awful situation & reassuring sonic who is in the same situation.#<- trying to check in on tails while he’s worried about sonic being infected#<- reassuring belle that her father would be proud of her#intelligently? she’s obviously not written as a genius like eggman or tails but thats not what i mean#she is sharp - finding creative applications of her tail; ie slingshotting sonic & blaze up; forming a harness to help carry whisper#-during the metal overlord arc; using the surprise factor of her tail to steal whisper’s mask in T&W 1; the simple ploy she tries with-#-orbot & cubot during her adventure with belle that ends up giving them info. she’s resourceful!#so the problem is if your character is already great at all these things. but you want to develop them as a character. AND not-#-overshadow every other character. you need to downgrade them first#so collapsing tangle to comic relief + physical brawler + happy-go-lucky & sacrificing her depth lets you make more problems#but the problem that causes is: you pretty obviously had to downgrade her for that. so its not satisfying when the arc concludes & -#-she learns. it’s like the multiple times in ben 10 where ben learns ‘oh saving people isnt for fame its for good’#OS with animo. UA. OV’s hypnomoth episode. he relearns this because if ben already knows this he’s simply a Good Hero#and that’s not as interesting as making him bad at things and wondering if he pulls through.
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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so lowe’s has an AI chatbot instead of a proper job application now. it wants your full legal name and your phone number or email address to “send to recruiters” and then proceeds to ask you all the questions you’d normally answer on a typical job application, excluding tax info and specifics on previous employment specifically at lowe’s
well. I am a HUGE hater when it comes to AI and my personal information so. after a full hour of trying to get the damn thing to just redirect me to the ACTUAL APPLICATION PAGE—which I could not find even though the job description page says you can either apply online OR through the chatbot AI—I decided to bite the bullet and give it a name.
I am now Bungleweed Tumblebutt and I have applied for two (2) positions. I hope if there is any actual recruiter looking over chat histories that they see my vehement dislike of their bot and tell somebody about the hateful Bungleweed Tumblebutt
#fuck ai#I just wanted to put in an application LIKE A NORMAL JOB#last time I worked here the application literally took less than 10 minutes. I don’t understand WHY they decided to include a chatbot#especially when the majority of their clientele is a bunch of middle aged to very old (and specifically) veteran men#the chatbot even asked me straight up ‘do you have experience working with smartphones or tablets’#if that is a question you HAVE to ask then WHY ARE YOU USING AN AI CHATBOT FOR THE APPLICATION#MelloMoans#I’m just so fucking tired of AI being everywhere WHEN IT DOESNT NEED TO BE#also. I really really REALLY don’t like the idea of giving my full government name to a fucking AI for a simple fucking job application
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My favorite local coffee shop is hiring. Cross your fingers that your fave kazansky finally gets a job
#cause I’ve put in like 60 ish applications in the last 3 months#and only have gotten 3 job interviews in all of which I didn’t get an offer from#it’s getting ridiculous at this point#I need a job so I can afford my textbooks for class and to be able to save for a car / car insurance for when I get my license#which I also need money for to pay for gas for those who let me use their car to practice my driving#Jake k’s personals
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every time i hear anything art-related on tiktok, i immediately get really like... upset? annoyed? idk. unpleasant feeling because it's literally always "we're making fun of this child/beginner for their anatomy or how they color" or whatever else or pretending that an artists deserve to be treated like a piece of corporate media.
i know tiktok is literally the devil and hell incarnate, but i don't think any artist deserves to be targets of mass harassment especially not people who are just starting out (and even more especially not children).
if tiktok was a thing when i was younger and i was posting my art on there, i would never fucking draw ever again. my art career would've ended after a few months of drawing "seriously," and i really do mean it lol. call me sensitive or whatever, but a 13-15 year old does not need to hear whatever criticism you think they need to hear i promise.
#dook dook#the only thing people should be doing is offering actual helpful advice and constructive criticism is only welcome when asked for#but these people never ask for it...#im talking about the 'art lore' stuff or whatever (idk if its called that)#i never kept up with it because 1 i am not on tiktok 2 i am a full grown adult who doesnt care and 3 it just makes me feel fucking awful?#but seriously#beginning artists will not be on the same level as someone whos been drawing for 10+ years#beginning artists will not have 'good' anatomy or know how to color or shade 'properly'#it really pisses me offfff...#if youre a beginning artist the only things you really need to know are: drawing more than 1 body type (please draw fat people. please.)#do not fall for 'dos and donts' types of tutorials#ESPECIALLY ones that are about men vs. women anatomically#take care of your wrists and hands and arms#AND FINALLY: DONT WORRY ABOUT ANY 'RULES' DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT TO YOU#ART CAN LOOK LIKE ANYTHING AND CAN BE MADE USING ANY TECHNIQUE BRUSH APPLICATION WHATEVER!!!#DO NOT FUCKING WORRY ABOUT IT PLEASE
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🎉Cheap Discount Commissions
Okay re-post because folks were confused with my wording ( please feel free to send your info along again ). No art trades this time cause I got too many offers and sadly need the money for my immigration debt 🥲 If I get to a point where I am getting enough sales I will do the trade option again but most people applying were for trades and it's just not sustainable for me at the moment 💔 I'm super sorry I didn't expect to get so many
I need new examples for my commission info so I'm offering discounted rates. You must be okay with me using the art I've done for you in my commission information and forms!
FERAL CHARACTERS ONLY please. Any gender, any species. If your characters is only anthro that's fine! I'm happy to feral-fy them : D
-£5 discount on all commissions ( aside from uncolored sketch ) if your character is a hedgehog because I wanna draw more of them
Please reply to this post, message me on here, or on Discord ( natedraws ). Applying does not mean you are guaranteed to be picked as well
Uncolored Sketch £5 ( normally £10 )
Colored Sketch £10 ( normally £15 )
Icon £15 ( normally £20 ) I do not have any examples of this new style so please be aware of that !! It is different from anything I have offered before
Plush Portrait £20 ( normally £25 ) No characters for this one only teddy friends please!
When replying please make sure to include your characters ref and info ( style, specifics, ect )
I'm just going through and picking anyone that happens to inspire me ( so even if you send a ref it's not guaranteed to be drawn - I'm sorry )
Please make sure to read my terms of service before applying : ) By sending your information along you're agreeing to these terms even if you haven't read them
This is not an official commission opening, this is an opening with discounted rates for me to use in my examples sheet. Please wait for my real opening for other enquiries! Thankyou so much ❤️🧡💛💚💙
#sorry to repost I got a lot of people confused cause when I used the word guinea pig for example they thought I meant literally#also most applications were for art trades which unfortunately I will not be able to accept anymore as I need the money sadly I'm very sorr#commissions
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how do you write a grad school statement of purpose talking about a professor you really admire and love the work of, who's research genuinely represents EXACTLY the kind of work you want to do not just in grad school but forever and ever and ever since you were in 7th grade, without sounding like a crazed fangirl?
asking for a friend.
#It's just- AHHH it's SO COOL#But I can't just SAY that because when you use too many superlatives even when you really mean them it comes of as insincere#Words are cheap! Everyone applicant writes that they'd be 'thrilled to work with' the group they're applying for so it doesn't mean anythin#I need to find a way to download the ineffable feeling of how actually thrilled I would genuinely be into her brain#honestly though this is not a bad problem to have#I am really excited about this person's work to the point that even if I don't get into their program or get to work with them#I still want to do a PhD thesis that would give me ample opportunities to cite them#grad school jeremiad
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... did you NEED an article about why breeding for health in dogs is good while doing so for humans is eugenics? because that sounds kind of concerning? governing how humans reproduce is much more invasive and a much bigger abuse of power than doing so to animals. human rights are not comparable to animal welfare. maybe look into theory surrounding "animal rights vs animal welfare" for similar themes?
Not at all! I was just curious about the nuances of that topic that would be addressed in such an article.
As a severely disabled queer woman with an incredibly high genetic cancer risk I am not at all confused about the topic of eugenics and why it's a bad thing, don't worry!
I do like to explore nuance and grey areas and challenge my beliefs to see which hold up to scrutiny and which ones I may need to rethink or dismantle particularly because it's very easy to not realize when beliefs are formed based on the ideals of a culture rife with systemic oppression.
I know that the reason animal breeding practices for health is seen as good while it's eugenics in humans boils down to "We can't trust everyone to act in good faith" and personal choice and agency and consent etc. Don't worry! I'm not someone you'll ever see knowingly advocate for eugenics. I was simply wondering if an article about such a topic would address any points I hadn't previously considered on eugenics or animal welfare.
I appreciate you checking in and for suggesting some direction for learning more about the topic if I had been as unsure as you worried I may be. I know in online spaces a comment like yours is more likely to result in conflict and that it takes both energy and courage to reach out, even anonymously, so thank you.
#it's also easier to debate folks who think there's some merit to eugenicist practices#when you can better understand their points and why they make sense#it's one of those topics that catches people with seemingly rational ideas to hook them#before pulling them down the slippery slope#you need to be able to point out the flaw in the logic#but it needs to come from their perspective to be most effective#which means you need to be able to understand why it's rational to them#so reading stuff like that can be very helpful in understanding other points of view#I'm also someone who breeds dogs for purpose other than being a good companion#and temperament is as much a priority for us as health#which has the potential to open an interesting philosophical discussion#if for the purposes of philosophical debate#we're willing to credit humanity with the ability to act in good faith and give in to an abuse of power#to eliminate objectively harmful genes linked to physical health issues#and debate whether there are objectively harmful temperament traits#and the ethics of eliminating those in humanity#and what the consequences of that could be#exercises like that are very useful for lots of reasons#and can often be applicable to completely different topics#and I very much enjoy stretching my mental muscles in that way#i was hoping what I thought the article was about would have dipped into that sort of philisophical sphere just a bit
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VUXisms (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Or if you prefer my very Normal Collection of ZEX stimming lol#I'm not choosing to read alien behaviours through a neurodivergent lense you can't prove anything#Okay you got me yes I am lol - in conjunction with my ADHD Max HC (which I am only more convinced of lol) I went into this with#Really any kind of self-soothing behaviour fascinates me :D And ZEX definitely needs the soothing ;;#But it's not just the stimming! Though I did keep pretty diligent notes about that lol he's deeply interesting to me!#He's a texture person! Part of that is due to being VUX and having very processed food but if it fits it fits!#I'm also a texture person - again I have too many notes relating to ZEX lol#I also find it charming (or sad - whichever is applicable at the time!) when ZEX eats in ''odd'' ways haha ♪#Eating without utensils - you can always just wash your hands you do you <3#The weighted blanket lol so - I had a very normal and measured reaction to ZEX enjoying full-body pressure lol#Solely and purely intellectual! Of course! VUX enjoy swimming! Full-body pressure makes complete sense!#And he's a tactile person on top of that - pressure good for multiple reasons! I really do think he'd sleep better with a weighted blanket ♪#Back to stimming! I really loved the scene of him opening the water bottle and his therapist being So Impatient with him about it lol#Let him figure it out! He's very intelligent! Very skilled at finding weak points and exploiting them hehe <3#But then he runs his finger on the lip of the bottle! Wine-glassing it while he talks hehe <3 I love him#Humming!! Another stim I relate to! Not so much now since it was ''encouraged'' out of me so I may be doubly biased towards him using it hee#Too delighted to focus on utensil lessons and yet he's still clever enough to pay attention to multiple things at once hehehe ♫#And then aside from his actual biggest stim he plays with his hair quite a lot - in various ways and to different ends :D#Running his hands through it to self-soothe or tugging on it to express - I kinda read it as him trying to move his head feelers around haha#Not quite the same but something!#Oh and then his biggest stim - just looking at humans lol it is very dopamine-delivering <3 And he has dopamine now! Very powerful :3c#Hhhhh human chemistry for VUX behaviours <3 It's so interesting to me hehe ♪
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I think that my endless sobbing in the last 3 hours or so aren't normal
#when I whined to a friend about it she used the word trigger a lot when describing my situation back to me#and while it is not trauma resurfing so the word trigger isn't really applicable here#if it is me reacting to a trigger that would explain a lot#i just hope i can finally fall asleep so that i wake up tomorrow and go get the hugs i need to calm me down
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