#I needed a Luigi version so badly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lizadale · 3 years

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ok, some largely incomplete parts of Daisy retell version of the sitcom everyone hates: Idiots in Love. Starring Daisy who just would like to go 5 days without babysitting either of the idiots

starts where I left off on the last one, which was right after the living room incident and right before dream arc

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Luigi has gone listless again the next time you see him. You try to talk to Dimentio about it, but he artfully dodges every attempt at conversation. When you see him briefly, he looks almost as tired as Luigi does now, but it’s not as physical as it is mental. He’s vibrating with disquiet.

Luigi is annoyed. Every action he takes is a little heavy-handed. There’s an edge to his voice, and you can tell he’s trying not to let you notice but he can’t seem to help it. He won’t play tennis with you. He agrees to watch a movie with you instead, and then he changes his mind as you’re loading the player and pretty much shoos you out of the house.

As you’re leaving, however, he stops you and drags you into a long, crushing hug. He doesn’t say anything, and when he finally lets you go, he slinks off like it never happened.

“I’m getting worried,” you tell Peach. After getting kicked out, you wander over to the castle instead. Peach is watering her courtyard garden, and you’re pruning every shrub you can get your hands on to distract yourself.

She sighs. “Me too,” she says. “Luigi hasn’t visited Mario in weeks. He’ll answer the phone sometimes, but he won’t let him check in.”

Peach knows about Dimentio. You didn’t tell her, so you don’t know if someone else did a long time ago or if Mario told her after the ball. Mario and Peach have both been extremely patient. They’re letting Luigi coast, no matter how badly they want to reach out, because they’re afraid of making him feel cornered. You think that’s a good idea, if stress is potentially deadly for him.

“It just…it feels like he doesn’t trust us.” Peach bites her lip. “Mario misses him so much.”

You don’t say anything. You’re too distracted. You don’t like the way that hug felt, like it was a goodbye but not simply because you were leaving his house.

Three days later, you get a text from Peach.

“Luigi needs you.”

You don’t send a reply, you just throw a change of clothes in your sports bag, tell your chancellor to fuck off when he asks where you’re going, and head straight to Mushroom Kingdom.

Luigi is an absolute mess when you find him in the castle courtyard. He’s walking around like a zombie, face pale and eyes unfocused. He looks up and sees you and his face does this pained thing you don’t like, and something comes loose. There’s a man walking beside him, a big bear of a man you’ve never seen before and he looks like he didn’t even come from this kingdom, but he sees Luigi go unsteady and he keeps him from swaying off his feet for long enough that you can reach them.

“Ye got ‘im, lass?” the man asks unsurely. His voice is thick with an accent you’ve never heard. Gruff but not unkind. He’s huge, you bet he could smash you under his thumb, and he passes Luigi to you so carefully you think he must be hyperaware of it.

“I go—I got him,” you stammer, shaken by how desperately Luigi is clinging to you. You’re no stranger to his tears—he cries at the drop of a hat, normally, but you haven’t seen him erupt in this way for a long time. Not since right after his first run-in with King Boo, when he was still shaking from the fear that he wasn’t going to get Mario back.

“A’ight,” the big man says, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. “Er, a’ight, I’mma go an’—”

“Bring me that bench first,” you tell him, nodding toward one of the garden benches because you have your hands full.

Big guy scrambles to bring you a bench, and he carries it over and sets it down by your legs like it’s made of paper instead of a heavy metal alloy. You maneuver with some difficulty so Luigi isn’t trying to climb into your chest and get him beside you on the seat, but he’s still determined to curl around you like he’ll drown if you let go, and you give up. It’s not that you can’t handle all of his weight against you, but you’re unsteadied by the force with which he’s unraveling.

“Hey,” you say to big guy, “explain.”

Big guy hesitates and shifts uncomfortably. “Don’ know much, lass. It’s complicated. I’m not th’ best to explain.”

You don’t see how the answer to “why is Luigi so upset” can be complicated in any way.

Big guy shuffles away into the castle. Luigi exhausts himself against your shoulder to the point where he’s barely awake, and you feel bad about asking him questions, so you don’t. He dozes off after a few quiet minutes; you scoop him up and carry him back into the castle.

Mario is on his way out, but then he sees you come in with Luigi miserably defeated in your arms and pauses. He claps his hands together twice and then makes a “gimme” gesture like he’s asking you to throw him a baseball.

“Pass,” he says.

You snort; apparently, you’re meant to take turns. You carefully transfer Luigi into Mario’s arms and he takes him with practiced grace, carefully folding his brother up so he doesn’t wake. Then he totes him away toward the guest suites and leaves you standing in the foyer looking lost.

Peach eventually wanders down the main hall stairs looking preoccupied, and she startles a little when you clear your throat.

“You’re here,” she says, surprised.

“I’m here,” you agree. Did she think sending you that cryptic text wasn’t going to unnerve you enough to land you in her castle? “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

The preoccupied look comes back. “I’m sorry, Daisy, I don’t have the full story. Luigi won’t talk about it to any of us, I was hoping he might open up to you or Mario, but…”

You’re getting so sick of this. If Luigi didn’t already have the appearance of a kicked dog right now, you’d go kick his ass yourself.

“Here’s what I know,” Peach says. “He tried to kill Dimentio.”

“He what?” Isn’t that backwards?

Her brow furrows. “I don’t know why,” she says. “Luigi hit him with Thunderhand with intent to kill, and then he rushed him to me on the brink of death and begged me to heal him. Dimentio’s arm was badly broken and it looked like he had to force Thunderhand out of himself to keep it from stopping his heart, so he’s—he’s got a hole the size of a golf ball in his stomach. It was really draining for me to heal it, but he’s extremely lucky he’s even alive… His control over magic is amazing.”

It looks like “terrifying” is the word Peach actually wants to use, but she stops herself. Quite frankly you don’t care if Dimentio is the greatest wizard in history, you’re still caught on the idea of Luigi hurting anyone on purpose.

“Was Luigi hurt at all? Was it self-defense?”

“No. Luigi was absolutely fine. Well, his voice is a little hoarse like he’s been yelling, but…”

“And where’s Dimentio?” you demand. “What’s his side of the story?”

“He’s been in a coma since it happened two days ago,” Peach says. “He’s upstairs in the infirmary. I have the area blocked off until I can figure out how dangerous he is.”

“He’s not dangerous, he’s just stupid,” you tell her. “You won’t even let Luigi see him?”

“Luigi’s aura is stronger than mine,” she says gently. “If I let him anywhere near Dimentio, my magic will stop augmenting his healing process and he’ll be in danger again.”

No wonder Luigi is in such a pitiful emotional state. Mistakes were made and he’s helpless to fix them.

Peach seems like she needs some downtime, too. She heads into the kitchen to stress-bake, and you follow her. You know absolutely nothing about baking and you’re mediocre at best when it comes to any sort of food preparation, so you sit down at the small table in the corner and talk to her as a distraction. Well, mostly you’re complaining emphatically about the state of your palace and how annoyingly overbearing your chancellor is, but she’s grateful for it anyway.

You spend a couple hours talking her out of her tenseness, and then you wander off into the castle toward the guest suites. You have good timing; Mario exits one of the rooms and starts to close the door until he catches your eye. He leaves it slightly ajar in invitation, and you high-five him enthusiastically when he passes you in the hallway as you trade shifts.

“Handle with care,” he murmurs.

“I wanna kick his ass,” you say honestly.

“With care,” he repeats mildly. You snort.

Luigi is lying on his side under the covers staring blankly at the wall when you come in. He doesn’t react at all as you join him, slipping in behind him and pressing your palm in between his shoulder blades. When he doesn’t pull away, you start rubbing your knuckles against his back. It draws a single hiccup out of him, but his tears appear to be dry.

Unprompted, he starts to tell you the story, from the beginning. He tells you about getting abducted by the enemy. He tells you about the Void, the Chaos Heart, and the events that forced him quiet upon his return home. By the time he gets to the end of the saga, you are starting to despise Dimentio and feel sick to your stomach about ever being so relaxed around him.

Then he tells you about finding Dimentio half-dead in Castle Bleck, and he gets so upset he has to stop talking for a few minutes. You hold him while he recovers, conflicted. You don’t understand, personally, how the trauma Luigi suffered could be any less than what Dimentio has, or why Luigi has offered him so much. And the silly part is, Luigi seems to agree with that. You don’t think bringing it up now would do any good.

Luigi starts talking about more recent events, about living with him. About how Dimentio is stupidly helpless without his magic. About his lack of life skills. It suddenly starts to make sense to you: Luigi sees Dimentio as a long-term project.

“I tried to use him,” he tells you.

“He’s using you,” you correct him.

“We’re using each other.”

“Wow. Romantic.”

He flips around expressly so he can glare at you.

“Alright. So what happened?” you ask. “I left the other day and you acted like it was the last time I was gonna see you.”

“Yeah,” he says solemnly. “Uh.”

“Luigi.”

He winces. “I tried to get him to kill me.”

“And then you changed your mind and kicked his ass instead?”

“N-no! He…” Luigi rubs his eyes, and he sounds irritated when he says, “He couldn’t do it. A-and—”

You stare at him. “Yeah, that’s because—I’m not sure if you’ve noticed this?—he’s kind of obsessed with you.”

He exhales. “Yeah.”

You can’t quite place his tone. He doesn’t sound upset about it, but there’s a little bit of disappointment in there. It’s less directed toward “ugh, someone likes me” and more toward “well, shit, that throws a wrench in my plans to die.” First and foremost, you think you need to find Luigi a therapist about the dying thing, because it’s severely bothering you. You know that he doesn’t actually want to die, he just seems fixated on being doomed. Like he’s decided this is going to kill him, and he just wants some form of control over how it happens.

“He couldn’t do it,” he says, “and I went to bed upset about it, and the Chaos Heart kind of—broke me a little. So I tried to lock it up, and D—Dimentio came after me. And we sort of. I picked a fight.”

“And he lost.”

“No, he won. But you know, if I get hurt in my dream I just wake up. He…”

His eyes go glassy again, so you drag him into a hug and he hides under your chin for a while.

You stay in the castle for a couple days, because Luigi is having a fragile time coping and he needs the emotional support. And Mario needs breaks. Mario went from having very little contact with Luigi to having him crawling all over him sobbing, so he’s a little frustrated. Sometimes both of you get frustrated, and you dump Luigi on the big guy, who you’ve since learned is called O’Chunks, and then go burn off some steam in the courtyard.

Peach still won’t let Luigi go near Dimentio.

“I just need confirmation that there’s nothing else going on,” she says. “Dimentio has a history of…manipulating people. The things he did to Luigi are—”

“So does the secretary chick,” you point out. “You let her roam the building pretty freely.”

You don’t like the blue girl. She’s the one who got in Luigi’s head the first time, and she might not have anything to do with the Chaos Heart but she sure caused a good chunk of the trauma Luigi is still processing.

“Nastasia doesn’t have a motive,” Peach says mildly.

“Dimentio’s current motive is wanting to protect Luigi,” you tell her.

It’s not that you trust Dimentio any more than Natasia after what you’ve heard, but Dimentio has proven ineffectual at murder and Luigi has proven that he can take him in a fight when it comes down to it.

You think maybe the fact that Luigi has tried to break into Dimentio’s room via the window at least once now speaks volumes that Luigi doesn’t feel he’s in any particular danger around the magician, and is becoming incredibly restless with the need to somehow make things right.

“I just want to see him,” he gripes, pacing the kitchen for the twentieth time. O’Chunks grunts in acknowledgement and wrestles Luigi into a chair so he stops interrupting his cooking, and Luigi starts building castles out of the stackable spice jars instead. You add little flags to the top of the spires using salt packets, and O’Chunks picks both of you up, one under each arm, and physically removes you from the kitchen.

The kingdom’s Merlon has been hanging around since the incident. He has tried unsuccessfully to wrangle Luigi into a conversation, and Luigi has made himself desperately scarce each time. You’re unclear as to why a Merlon of all people would make Luigi leery, but you try your best to facilitate his evasive maneuvers anyway.

Dimentio has been awake for a couple days now, but only Peach and Nastasia are allowed in the room with him until he fully heals. ‘Allowed’ is a very loose guideline, as you know that a small, wily girl named Mimi has been sneaking by the guards and Luigi is absolutely paying her for intel.

“He asked!” Mimi announces victoriously one day, bounding into the common room where Luigi has been methodically taking apart every appliance he can get his hands on. “He asked for you!”

Luigi drops the screwdriver mid-turn and his face lights up like he’s won the lottery. He immediately starts to stand up but Nastasia beats him to it and shoves him back into his chair.

“Let me check how stable he is,” she says, “and you get your magic under control so the two of you don’t blow us up, ‘k?”

Luigi makes a pained face but obeys, vibrating in his chair.

At this point, Merlon wanders in, and Luigi accepts his insistent questions as a strategic distraction. Mario scoots his chair closer and lays a supportive hand on his shoulder. You don’t understand most of the questions—something about the bands on Dimentio’s wrists, which you’d always assumed were just a very bad fashion statement he refused to take off during your shopping trip. You didn’t realize before that Dimentio is apparently an Ancient like the shaman. Most of the questions revolve around how Luigi feels, if he thinks he’s in any immediate danger, and how to readjust to Dimentio apparently having “higher output,” whatever the hell that means.

Then Merlon leaves, and Luigi lasts all of three more minutes before he vibrates completely out of his seat and makes a beeline for the stairs.

“Should we stop him?” you ask, with zero interest in actually acting on the suggestion.

Mario just gives you a look that says what you’re thinking, that any sort of attempt to stop Luigi will probably just get either of you hurt.

Nastasia storms downstairs a couple minutes later, furious. “He picked me up and threw me out,” she hisses. You and Mario just shrug at her, because, honestly, she should’ve known better.

The next time you see them both—which takes a few hours because apparently, much to Peach’s chagrin, Luigi has literally barricaded himself alone in the room with Dimentio—it’s like they’re honeymooning. Luigi is glowing. He’s carrying Dimentio around like his favorite stuffed animal, and Dimentio doesn’t seem to give a single fuck as to who sees it happening. He looks more relaxed than you’ve ever seen him; not the forced air of confidence that he puts on around strangers, but real, genuine assurance that he can actually conquer the world with the flick of his wrist. (Which is silly, seeing how if he tried it Luigi would most definitely kick his ass back into that hospital bed. You guess that doesn’t really matter.)

“Kissed the hell out of him,” you repeat smugly over dinner.

“Kissed the hell out of that idiot,” Luigi confirms, looking proud of himself. “Probably shouldn’t have but. What else was I supposed to do? Moron almost died for me.”

“I am right here,” Dimentio says from across the table, where Mimi has her hands twisted knuckles-deep in his hair trying to braid it.

“Yeah, I see you. You’re so dumb,” Luigi informs him fondly.

The whole rest of your stay is comprised of watching them be ridiculously domestic around each other, but their happiness is contagious. Even Mario, who for a long time was visibly apprehensive at the prospect of his brother associating with a past enemy, slowly warms up to the idea. (Or maybe it’s just well-hidden grim acceptance.)

So it’s extremely jarring when, a week later, you visit Luigi at home and Dimentio has a black eye. There are very few people quick enough to catch Dimentio in the face, especially considering how he likes to piss people off on purpose and therefore would be expecting the swing. Which means that he somehow managed to tick Luigi off on accident, and Luigi had zero hesitation about decking his partner in the fucking face purely on instinct. When you bring it up, Luigi still sounds furious.

Old habits die hard, it seems. You’re not sure what happened, but Dimentio is acting completely unrepentant to the point where Luigi drives a hole through his crossword puzzle with his pen and has to remove himself from his own house. You don’t blame him; you almost end up punching Dimentio, too. He bats away your attempt to apologize for stepping on the land mine with a shrug and complete disregard for Luigi’s feelings, and then he returns to his old way of needling your emotions until you pop. You leave the house and attempt to chase Luigi down instead.

It takes you a while to find him, but only because he’s stress-run so far into Evershade that you have to really book it to catch up. He’s sitting at the edge of the valley looking equal parts pissed off and defeated.

“Ok, so he’s obviously driving you insane.” You sit down beside him. “Has he been like this since you brought him home? It’s like he’s regressing.”

Luigi sighs. “He doesn’t know how to cope with stress other than trying to destroy the source.”

“You should probably consider whether it’s worth letting him stay.”

He turns and blinks at you. “Where else is he gonna go?”

“I don’t care,” you say, frustrated. “This ain’t about him. If he’s treating you like shit, he needs to go. Don’t sacrifice your comfort because you think you’re doing a good deed by letting him walk all over you.”

He gives you a stubborn look, but his ears redden enough that you know you’ve hit the nail on the head.

“You said you don’t even know how you feel about him yet.”

“It’s, uh—”

“Complicated, yeah. You’ve told me like fifteen times. And I still don’t know what that means. You’re not trying to stay with him because you feel sorry for him, right?”

“What? No! I mean it—” He huffs and tosses a rock into the abyss of the valley, and the hollow noises of it bouncing off the rock faces echo upward. “Just, you know, sometimes the parts he keeps buried shine through and… For a while I thought he was going to drop the act.”

“He’s an actor, Luigi. That’s his thing.”

“I know!” He picks up another rock and throws it more aggressively into the pit, and it wails all the way down. “It’s just frustrating because he’s doing the same thing to himself that I did with Mr. L! You find out something you don’t like about yourself and then you try to drown it, but you just end up drowning yourself because it’s still you.” He sighs again, drooping. “It’s kind of stupid, isn’t it? That I want it to work, despite knowing the kind of person he is.”

You give him a long, hard look.

“Okay,” you say. “I think you both need therapy, but here’s an alternative. Ask him what he did when you fainted.”

His brows knit. “When I blacked out in the living room? He did something? What—”

“Not me, ask him! He wouldn’t let me tell you. Ask him what happened and what he did. If he doesn’t tell you, drop him.”

Luigi looks uncomfortable.

“Drop him,” you repeat. “He likes to keep secrets, I know, but there’s no excuse for him not telling you about that one. That’s the bar. See if he reaches for it. Otherwise, you know he’s hopeless.”

A week after they stop arguing, you make the mistake of getting Luigi drunk.

You don’t really mean to. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t get your jollies from always causing trouble. Trouble is fun, but not like this. You didn’t expect him to take the bet, and you didn’t expect him to take it so far.

Luigi has a pretty good tolerance to alcohol, but he doesn’t drink much besides the occasional glass of wine with dinner. You wonder if he’d still done it if he didn’t think he was going to accidentally end the world someday. (You put that thought away for Future Daisy to think about.)

He gets a little…unfettered when he goes past his limit. The most accurate analogy (and you’re really bad at analogies) is of a shaken bottle of chuckola cola. The bubbles are always building, but the cap is secure. When Luigi is drunk, the cap flies off and sometimes hits whoever’s unfortunate enough to be nearby in the eye. The collateral is always a treat to clean up. You don’t speak from much experience, because you’ve only seen him like this once before. Even getting him tipsy is a task and a half.

You try to talk to him normally, but it’s strange when his verbal filter breaks. His word choice gets rough, and half of it falls into Italian so you barely understand.

You flag a waitress down to put in a to-go order for Dimentio so he doesn’t starve to death, and Luigi blows a gasket. You sit at the table in the restaurant and listen with your mouth parted in amazement as he absolutely goes off.

“Let the fucker starve,” he says, “If he doesn’t ask for something don’t give it to him, he’s too stupid to want things like surviving. Do you know how many times I cook for the little shit and he doesn’t even react? At least say something! You want more? You hate it? REACT! He’s SO annoying. I wanna punch him in the mouth.”

“Um,” you say, glancing at the waitress.

“Get him some bruschetta bullshit, I don’t care,” Luigi says petulantly, “I THINK he likes that, ‘cuz it’s one of the few things he ever demands seconds on. One of the TWO things. Fucking idiot. I’m gonna start fishing for things he hates, see if he reacts then.”

You give the waitress an apologetic glance as she practically flees the table, but inside you’re gleefully trying not to laugh. You can’t get Luigi to talk about Dimentio very often because he KNOWS you’re trying to mash them together like two dolls while yelling “NOW KISS” at the top of your lungs—it’s hilarious that when he DOES start talking about him, it’s to complain emphatically. Obviously this has been stewing for a while, because he doesn’t let it go for the next five minutes. You know from experience that one of Luigi’s biggest pet peeves is to not give feedback on a meal he cooks, and apparently Dimentio is very guilty of this transgression.

“Sometimes he won’t even come down for lunch or dinner,” Luigi goes on, furiously rapping his fingers on the table. “And I have to go upstairs and drag his ass downstairs and shove a plate in his hands—and then he fucking LEAVES. Brings the plate back later if I’m lucky. I never know. I don’t fucking know—did he like it? Hate it? Should I make it again? NO IDEA!”

“He won’t eat with you?” you ask.

Luigi slams his palm flat against the table, rattling all the dishes, and some of the patrons jump in surprise. “Never! He USED to, you know, when he was STALKING me around the house like some starved vulture out for my organs. Wouldn’t leave me alone. Now I never fucking see him. He’s probably reading my diary again, the little shit, taking notes for blackmail or whatever the hell he does—”

“He what?”

“He read my diary!” he yells angrily. “Like that’s an acceptable thing to do! I save his stupid life and he spends it making a mockery of my emotional trauma, like a complete jackass—”

The waitress hurries back with your to-go box. You shove it in your bag, bodily drag Luigi out of his chair, and start shoving him toward the door. You give the staff and patrons an apologetic nod; you owe them that much.

“Okay,” you say once you’re outside, “that’s rude as fuck. Did you tell him that’s rude as fuck?”

“Is that not—APPARENT?” he blusters.

“Maybe not to Dimentio, ‘cuz he’s a little slow?” You’re fairly convinced Dimentio wouldn’t understand the concept of being a decent human being if it showed up and started default dancing on his evil plans.

“I don’t go around sticking my hands in his business, why’s he doing it to me?” Luigi snaps. “Actually, he doesn’t f—he doesn’t HAVE any business does he? Stupid secretive little shit. Hate him. Gonna tie him to a chair and burn all those books in front of him.”

“Most of those are Peach’s,” you point out.

“I don’t CARE!”

Ooh. Taking him back home like this could either produce a conversation that maybe these two should’ve had a long time ago, or it could go terribly, horribly wrong. Like, Luigi beating the shit out of Dimentio kind of wrong.

You take a longer route through the forest, to buy time so maybe Luigi will sober up a fraction before you get to his house. He doesn’t. And he keeps going on a tirade about all the annoying things Dimentio does, most notably his lack of any reaction to anything whatsoever, and how flighty he is, and—

“Why don’t you just tell him you want to kiss him?” you ask, exasperated.

“I don’t want to kiss him,” Luigi hisses, and this is the most livid he’s sounded all night, “I want to bend him over the fucking dining table.”

“Oh my god,” you say giddily. You’ve highly suspected Luigi of becoming hopelessly attracted to his house guest since they got back from Peach’s castle, but this is the first time he’s said anything out loud and WOW. You’re really not used to this version of Luigi.

“Shithook can’t even hold my hand without having a moral crisis,” he goes on. “He’s less than vanilla. I can’t deal with him. Just kill me.”

“I mean, I didn’t wanna say this before, but he looks pretty young to me? Like honestly when I first saw him, I was thinking barely eighteen if—”

“He’s THREE THOUSAND,” Luigi yells, throwing his hands up in the air dramatically.

“He’s what.”

“Three THOUSAND,” he repeats. “Don’t question it. How d’you think I feel? I’M the minor here!”

That surprises a cackle out of you.

Some minutes later, with Luigi devolved now to talking about how ridiculously long Dimentio spends in the bathroom every morning until he’s just cursing repeatedly under his breath, you arrive at his house and shove him inside, praying Dimentio is already asleep. (He’s not. Honestly you’re starting to wonder if Dimentio actually sleeps at all. You’ve seen no evidence so far, and the coma doesn’t count.)

Dimentio is immediately suspicious when you try to distract him with his boxed meal. You’re definitely going to have a time of this, but you don’t realize how bad it could get until Luigi doubles back on the entryway and, with almost no prompting, grabs Dimentio by the collar of his poncho and slams him up against the side of the staircase. OOPS. Dimentio only looks mildly alarmed by the rough handling, but doesn’t seem to think he’s in any sort of real danger.

Luigi says something that makes Dimentio’s face brighten with recognition, and then you swoop through and shoo Luigi off of him. You try very hard to ignore the pointed look Dimentio is giving you, the one that demands an explanation, but he’s being very persistent in hovering over your shoulders until you snap at him, “He’s just a little drunk, alright?”

“Drunk,” he repeats, squinting in disbelief.

You decide to stay the night because after seeing the signs of Luigi manhandling Dimentio when he dares drift too close, you’re not so sure they should be left alone. You aren’t completely positive whether Luigi just wants to stick his hands in Dimentio’s pants or flat-out deck him, but both options might be a bad idea. You’re pretty sure Dimentio would murder as a countermeasure to both of those things.

You have to wait a long time for Luigi to power down. He keeps trying to dismantle anything his hands land on, and at one point you drift off and wake up to him constructing a miniature rocket ship out of paper. Dimentio is watching him with great interest from a safe distance across the room, and he’s handling Drunk Luigi a lot better than you thought he would. Almost like Drunk Luigi is an old friend. It’s odd and a little unsettling.

Luigi burns himself trying to make the rocket fly, and Dimentio hazards to come closer to make sure it isn’t serious. Which would be sweet and endearing, if Luigi didn’t immediately ruin it by asking to fight him. You know from experience that Luigi asking for a fight doesn’t always necessarily mean violence—a lot of times it means play-wrestling that turns inevitably into aggressive kissing. Predictably, it seems to go over Dimentio’s head. He just looks a little confused, and when you try to signal that maybe he should give the battle option a try to see what happens, he looks even more suspicious.

His loss, you guess. Luigi gets annoyed by the rejection and won’t let Dimentio bandage his hand, so you do it in his stead. You feel him glaring daggers at you from across the room, but to be fair it’s his fault. You tried to warn him. It’s not your job to translate.

You’re just relieved that, despite all the rough patches that still need some work, Dimentio doesn’t seem like he’s running away anymore. He’s still a flighty asshole, but he’s trying his best, you guess.

The next week you walk in and they’re curled up together on the sofa. Luigi is lying on his side flipping channels on the TV without actually watching it, and Dimentio is tucked up against his chest like he’s trying to burrow inside it, with his forehead pressed against Luigi’s sternum, leg hiked around Luigi’s hip and his hand lazily tracing up and down his spine. Luigi looks like he’s about to vibrate off this plane of existence.

At first you think neither of them noticed that you came in—just as well, since you feel you may be interrupting—but then Dimentio’s hand pauses and he slowly lifts his wrist just enough to flick you off without looking. You snort. Luigi turns a little at the sound, and his expression is frozen in a wobbly, starry-eyed smile.

Yeah, you think they might be okay.

#i'd clean these up if i knew how to write #i'm completely dry rn #my writing #dimigi au #daisy retell

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bean-n-shroob · 4 years

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The Origami King Review/Opinion

(I sorta hate that it has the word The in it cause when I did impressions or this review, it sounds strangely official)

I’m gonna review but if people don’t want spoilers here’s some Pros and Cons that I felt

Pros:

+ Music is fantastic! I love how the battle theme changes with every area/sub-area you go to.

+ Writing is good, it gets you invested in enough to sorta care. Humor is top notch as expected!

+ Olivia is a sweetheart! I love her so much and how she’s so marveled by everything.

+ Boss Battles are fun to figure and deal with.

+ Finding Toads is actually kinda fun, I enjoy figuring out where they’re hidden

+ Badge system is intriguing if not a bit clunkly put together (sorry, this is suppose to be Pros)

Cons:

- Regular Battles get old quick if puzzles aren’t really your thing and its a bit too easy to just not depend on the coins, thus making them pointless.

- Story sorta flops, it starts strong but then just sorta fizzles and all we got left is... fun experiences (I know this sounds like a Con, but while the experiences are fun, it is disappointing the story sorta flops hard)

- Character Design is very meh. The most well written character can’t save it from its extremely generic design

- But also Olly is not... that well written... so...

- Partners and Vellumentals are kinda under utilized to a disappointing degree (baby steps, baby steps ugh)

Anywho, that’s all my feelings (that I can remember and feel I can say without spoilers)

6.5/10 (I’ll explain the scoring under the cut)

Spoilers Under Cut

Hello and welcome to the Spoiler Bits of this Review/Opinion

Buckle in, this is a long one

Now y’all may be a bit curious as to why, with so much big things (music/writing/bosses/Olivia) being good and so little being bad, why a 6.5/10?

Well, I felt a 7 was too generous and would make people think “Oh, its good!” but a 6 is like “Eh... its mediocre” and a 6.5 is more like a “Its Good, But” and I feel that But is important! I know how this may sound, but TOK could’ve been WAY better and Chapter 2 was an example of how good this game could’ve been!

You know how people always bring up Huey, or the “Morton Leston” joke, or the “I would do things that would raise this game’s rating” line as examples as why Color Splash is actually really good and we’re all in denial?

I feel Chapter 2 will be that for TOK and its all because of Bobby! I like Bobby, I like Bobby a lot! I wish he stuck around! I loved how he and Olivia interacted together and how they formed a bond!

But

I sorta hated how overall useless he was to the action and adventuring. He’s the most useless partner that somehow leaves a deep impression on the player!

He leaves such a deep impression that I don’t think anyone noticed how badly written Professor Toad was! He was such a let down as a follow up to Bobby! And worst of all, he was like way more useful than Bobby! He can dig holes, he can wipe out a whole role of enemies, he has a function outside of battle and story.

Seeing how useful Professor Toad was, sorta put into perspective Bobby and his eventual sacrifice to save Olivia (I told ya this was spoilers). He just dies, in a shockingly emotional moment, giving a speech about how Bomb-Ombs live relatively short lives and are always trying to make the most of it.

Wow... I really wish Chapter 6 didn’t have a segment where you were half hazardly shooting bomb-ombs out of a cannon, cause otherwise, this could’ve been way more impactful!

But it also made it seem like "we can't make Bobby too useful, he's gonna die. So just keep him extremely simple and useless in every other aspect of the adventure, besides story."

I don’t get how TOK started out so strong! The intro and Chapter 1 introduced us to the basic loop how what we’d have to do and how stuff will play out and Chapter 2 took that and showed us how far we could go with this loop and how involved the world will be with this loop!

Only for Chapter 3 to just give up on everything and give us 1 expansive dessert to explore, a very one note partner who doesn’t leave a lasting impression, a boring quest of solving an ancient riddle and a very annoying boss dungeon segment that went on longer than it should’ve! And above all else, a very half-assed excuse for why he won’t be joining your journey! Especially since Chapter 4 doesn’t have a partner!

Chapter 4 feels like an overly-long intermission of Mario n Olivia’s adventure to Chapter 5. Legit the purple streamer of 4 could’ve been the green streamer of 5 and it would only flow just a little bit less smoothly. Chapter 4 has this weird send off to the Vellumentals, with the boss dungeon being a mixture of the last 4 Vellumental chambers you’ve explored. Which feels out of place especially since there’s like 2 more chapters of stuff happening afterwards! And like a thunder elemental like boss fight in 5 but I guess they just couldn’t be bothered to create a Thunder Vellumental fight to tack onto the story and just gave it to this Origami Sumo Bro! Okay!

And then the Bowser Castle segment is right when they decide to get creative with enemy encounters, but only 2 enemy encounters (you can fight these two multiple time if you’re neither a chicken nor annoyed with the battle ring system) but then just stop right after cause Scissor makes cut out soldiers was the only excuse why that happened.

Again... I like TOK, I do. If I didn't, I'd rate it a 4 or 5 outta 10. I'll talk about the good, I will, but lemme just rant about 1 thing first! Its actually 2 rants but its gonna be about 1 topic I'm rather passionate about.

Character Design

I hate how generic the Legion of Stationery are! Once again, Chapter 2 wins by giving Rubber Band a very unique design, but everyone else is so generic looking! Remember how I said the personalities couldn't save them from their generic design? The Legion have such fun personalities, its so tacky and fun! But I cannot get over how it contrasts with the fact I'm staring at an object hoping in place or wiggling or jiggling as they talk! It kinda sucks, honestly!

I wish these guys had more creativity behind them, and truth be told it wouldn't have bothered me had Rubber Band not been an outlier! Why them and not everyone else! Its baffling!

But above all else, the worst offender, is the Origami Craftsman! The dude who folded Olly! Is a TOAD! That's it! A toad in an apron! WHY

And I get it, there's story reason behind it! Olly wants all Toads gone cause they all look alike and thus everyone reminds him of the Craftsman who wrote (a very touching message) on him!

And that SUCKS!

(uh oh, i forgot about Olly and his terrible terrible motive to be evil)

Speaking of Olly! Remember when I said he wasn't well written? Well besides being an evil prick who enjoys messing with the heroes (i dont mind that, evil just to be evil is fine), it sorta randomly just comes up that he hates Toads near the end! It just comes up!

And I THINK it was suppose to be hinted at by the fact all the Toads gets attacked and folded by Paper Macho and Folded Soldiers. But my problem with this is:

1. Would they have been daring as making Folded Toads as enemies? Thus the lack of Folded Toad enemies should've hinted at this

2. The enemies were origami version of Mario enemies! So enemies still being enemies but folded would've just strengthen the fact we'd be fighting bowser minions again, making the previous Toad hint moot.

3. Toads have always been in peril in previous PM games so the fact they're in peril again wouldn't have been a point of interest!

I GUESS the fact Folded Peach specifically asks whether Toads should be silenced could've hinted at this, but people just took it as "hah lol Toads annoying" and not "oh, this villain has a thing against toads~". Its just, who else would the villain have pointed out? There's only Toads here! Maybe if there was a bigger variety of npcs and we saw other npcs either becomes folded soldiers or be spared from the folded attack, we could've wondered "hey, why are only the toads getting stuck in places?"

But we don't!

Anyways, huff! Lemme count all the good, spoilery things in the game (that's not in Chapter 2) to end on a good note

I love how Olivia is so sweet, no one could bring themselves to be mean to her (except Olly), even Kamek has a hard time being mean cause she's so bubbly and caring (except for that weird bit in the forest where Kamek had to be all rivalry about it but I digress)

Bowser backtalking Olly was very funny, I loved it a lot!

The fact Olivia asks Olly to come to his senses before Mario smashed his face with the Olivia hammer (i need to specify this cause otherwise it'll look like Mario interrupted this scene with a hammer smash but no, Olivia fully knew her hammer weight was gonna fall on Olly's face and just gave some last words of pleas before not even letting him respond) I loved that.

I liked how sweet Olivia was to Luigi despite how much he kept screwing up (i forgot to rant about that but tl;dr, he's a bit of a buffoon and its a bit annoying) i thought it was very touching how Olivia kept rooting for him regardless.

The Tape talking like a Gangster was actually really funny, I liked that a lot.

Bowser's pep talk to Olivia was very funny, it was basically "dont be sad, look at me, my muscles are massive and I can punch through walls!"

As jarring as they were, I actually liked a lot of the singing and dancing that occurred through the game.

Olly having his own color scheme for his Vellumental forms was super cool!

The ending was really touching. Olivia wished for all of Olly's creations to be undone, and because you find out in Chapter 4 that she's also a creation of Olly, she is undone too. And they don't spell that out! You just find out she's not around and connect the dots. I think that was very well done.

And these are some of several reasons I liked TOK and why I couldn't rate it lower than 6. It has a lot of things that just doesn't live up to Chapter 2 and its disappointing to realize halfway through that the game peaked in Chapter 2. Its so weird, they showed us how good it can be and then never lives up to the expectationd set by Chapter 2. I wish it did

Thats why I rate it a 6.5/10

#The Origami King Spoilers #The Origami King #review #opinion #mod speaks

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sailor-freak · 4 years

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BLACKPINK: The Album - Album Review

(image source)

Okay this could go badly so let’s get going!

How You Like That - I’m more tolerant of this song now but EVERYONE knows how I feel about it 😂. As usual I’ve linked to my original post so you can read the full one there but yeah this just builds you up with that lovely watery sound to let you down with some generic trap and bad lyrics. REALLY not a good start to an album 😂.

Ice Cream (ft. Selena Gomez) - Considering the standard... this one’s good 😂. IDK WHY I JUST THINK IT’S CUTE it’s nothing brilliant or revolutionary it’s just a simple song which makes me feel a bit giddy 😂.

Pretty Savage - Yeah I never had high hopes for this one 😂. It was pretty much what I expected 😂. It started with a bit of a creepy vibe which was promising, but as soon as that weird mouth sound hit I knew where it was going to go 😂. It’s overall a bit Luigi’s Mansion 😂. With some random acoustic guitar to give it “depth” 😂. COS THAT’S HOW IT WORKS APPARENTLY 😂. But yeah it sounds exactly like you’d think it would, a lot of speak-singing and odd sounds 😂. Oh and that ending as if it wasn’t bad enough that ending dragged it down even more 😂.

Bet You Wanna (ft. Cardi B) - Again, never had high hopes for this song 😂. HONESTLY... not as bad as I thought it was gonna be 😂. It was like a more modern and kind of shitter version of Rumor by 9Muses with the bass background music and stuff but, again, it was westernised 😂. Again, not as bad as I thought, one of the better songs honestly 😂.

Lovesick Girls - OKAY WE ALL KNOW THIS WAS THE BEST SONG SO DO I EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT OKAY.

Crazy Over You - This was the biggest disappointment honestly 😂. With the title it gave me some kind of Ladies’ Code Make Me Go Crazy thoughts but yeah it was nowhere near that 😂. It started with some kind of cowboy stand off music which was repeated throughout, but WHAT WAS THE SQUEAKY TOY SOUND 😂. What I hated was that it was SO empty, I HATE the empty song trend and this was that in its entirety. Every section seemed to change musical sound, not in a good way but they completely changed the music for each section, there was no consistency. I just don’t know what it was trying to be, sometimes it sounded wild west, sometimes it sounded bath time, sometimes it sounded fucking James Bond opening, I just don’t know what it wanted to be 😭. Definitely the worst song IMO.

Love To Hate Me - This HONESTLY surprised me. After the last one I had very low hopes, but apart from the empty section of the first part of the chorus this was actually pretty good!! It was quite low concept wise, it sort of felt very earthy and the chord progression always stayed lower, it was great 😂. And again, the empty section was pretty bad but apart from that it ALWAYS had some substance and strong sound to it. PRETTY GOOD 😂.

You Never Know - Omg this was gorgeous who would have thought the ballad would be one of my favourites ONLY WITH BLACKPINK 😂. It just had such nice vibey sounds but actually built up musical elements for the chorus it was so sweet 😂. The base was this kind of vibey piano sound, but when the chorus hit there was some almost drum sounds added (100% certain they were computer drums) and some other stuff in the background. But they STUCK TO THAT. They didn’t try and add any more, they didn’t change it completely at all, they just for the most part kept it the same concept musically. Towards the end they added in a stringy sound but it wasn’t a complete change. This was just so good 😭. It kind of reminded me of something Emma Blackery would release?? Idk why, it sounds like a ballad she would write haha 😂. Maybe similar to Forever 😂.

SO OVERALL THOUGHTS half was pretty good, half was utterly disappointing 😂. HOWEVER... Lovesick Girls and You Never Know absolutely saved it so I’M GONNA STICK WITH BLACKPINK 😂. Honestly this album was the deciding factor into whether I was going to bother with their new releases anymore but it turns out there’s still some gold left in them 😂. The second half was definitely better than the first, like I thought initially, but overall it did feel a lot like a western pop album rather than a K-pop album. Maybe it’s all the western artists that worked on this, I don’t know, but there was a lot of non-Blackpink sounding stuff on here? At least in my opinion 😂. Idk, it definitely caters to some people but I think I’ll just take the songs I like from this rather than listening to it as an album again 😂.

#blackpink #blackpink the album #review

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elegiacmarquise · 5 years

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More love for the pink damsel

This is a rant, the first and the only, that I wrote a while ago and which I posted previously on DeviantArt and reposted on the Mario Amino, few days after the release of Super Mario Odyssey, after a new wave of hatred towards Princess Peach...

Considering that, nevertheless, the princess' relationship with most fans has always been ambiguous, what may have seemed to be tolerable, now is no longer acceptable speaking from the prospective of Peach's admirer, and hoping to be a spokesman for who, like me, genuinely appreciates her.

--------------------------------------------------

But before starting with the proper rant, why do I post this writing, even if they passed almost two years when I did write it? A YouTube video made by the quite famous personality of RelaxAlax which I Iink below.

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Quite shallow, huh?

But this will NOT be an hate speech towards Alax, the rest of his videos are actually enjoyable and sometimes funny, but despite what he says in the video is nothing more and nothing less than what most Peach's haters actually say, I'm fearing that even due to this video, people are convinced to hate the pink princess without even knowing the truth behind her character.

But I must've taken you a lot of time, let's begin this speech, which was inspired by an older one (now deleted) posted by a friend of mine on Deviantart.

Let’s get started from the most recurring insults about the personality

"Peach is weak!!!"

While it’s true that for most of the games the Princess is kidnapped by Bowser or any enemy, it’s also the case that several times she has proved to be not so helpless, and even trying to escape to her kidnapper more than once indicates that Peach is not just staying there to patiently wait her hero; indeed, she was the only one along with Rosalina and Toadette who was been able to defend herself.

Some proofs? Super Princess Peach, Super Paper Mario, Super Mario 3D Land/ World, Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle, Super Smash Bros series...

"So why is she always kidnapped?!"

Nintendo logic. Just joking, I think that the reason is due to the fact that Peach, like anyone else, is an human being, with her fears and anxieties, and so what can she do if suddenly there is a monster bigger at least the triple of her accompanied by an huge army? Not everyone is badass, and she obviously is not always, but is it a good reason to hate her? I don’t think so.

Also remember that even two stronger characters like Mario and Luigi often struggle during the battles with Bowser, how could a delicate princess?

So, in a more general view, how much it’s wrong to blame the victims and not the kidnappers? Why does everyone hate Peach for this and not BOWSER?

And there are Daisy, Pauline and Zelda, who were kidnapped as well, but still worshipped as goddesses...

"Peach is stupid!!1!"

If the Princess was actually that stupid,she wouldn't be on a throne ruling a whole kingdom peacefully nor even to try a time machine or even called to try to find a cure to a plague that affected the Mushroom Kingdom. She may not have an IQ of 300 like Dr Eggman,but that doesn't mean she's stupid.

Characters who are REALLY "stupid" on purpose, like Wario and Waluigi, loved because they are. Now, people, don't tell me you aren't uncoherent.

"Peach has no personality!1!"

So, a sweet and kind personality shouldn’t be a good character trait? Great, so we wasted years and years of characterization in a video game character.

Even a little development is always putted in while creating a characte and, as we are seeing, Miyamoto and Nintendo are generally developing the character of the princess, in the best, demonstrating that even the princess is not a fossilized archetype in Mario's existence for thirty years. She’s so sweet and kind, but also has values, friends and a dignity that defends strenuously.

Guys, Peach is human, so she has flaws, and that's right, but saying that she doesn’t have personality is an insult to both her and Nintendo in general.

Let's compare for a moment Peach and Rei Ayanami from Evangelion, and see who is not supposed to have personality. (although Rei also has a very strong, still not obvious, characterization that develops in the course of the series)

"Peach is a Mary Sue!!!1!"

A Mary Sue would theoretically is a character with too unnatural characteristics for their universe or species, overly powerful and often accompanied by a tragic backstory; in short, it's misleading in their context. By applying this description to Peach, how should she be a Mary Sue?

As explained in the previous paragraphs, the Princess, still mostly human, has a magical power that is always inferior to those of other characters, such as Rosalina; and comparing it with the Star Guardian, shouldn’t be her chararcter be more similar in the description of a Sue? Consistency, this unknown concept...

I see you already with the forks in your hands, but let me clarify one thing, even a character like Rosalina is not a Mary Sue, she still has her flaws, and we love her as she is, but if Peach is one, Rosalina fits the definition WAY more.

Let’s talk about the character design

"Peach always wears pink!!1!"

Come on, guys, hating a character for a color is a such superficial thing that, would do kindergarten children the most.

Pink is a color like all the others, in the spectrum of colors, so anyone can wear it, even males.

(Trivia: up to a few decades ago, pink was more of a masculine color, given to boys since it’s a lighter version of red, a color considered manly)

Peach is looking good with pink and no one in Mario games seems to complain too much about that, and so, so why do we fans do?

"Peach is girly!!!!1!”

And so? A female character to be worthy of this name must be a tomboy or a badass with a gun on her hands? You have great prospects in mind, my dear ones, just like that.

Seriously, why does a character who likes to cure herself, should be banned from today's media?

However, almost all the girls in the Mario games are femminine, even Daisy, despite being described as a tomboy, so it doesn’t seem a good excuse for hating a character.

"Peach is blonde!!!1!"

Guys that stereotype that everyone who is blonde must be stupid it's not only extremely outdated, but there are a lot of people who consider it quite offensive. Open your minds! Go, go! The isn't any relations about the quantity of melaninine on the hair and the actual intelligence.

Even Rosalina and most of the Zeldas encountered in the games are blondes, but nobody seems to care.

"Peach has an annoying voice!!1!"

All the characters in the Mario games have their voices emphasized, guys, and Peach isn’t an exception.

There are characters with even more exaggerated voices, trust me, like Daisy, Toad or Rosalina's new dubbing, but for certain reasons, only Peach should be demonized for that by fans.

"Peach is a prostitute!!1!"

This is one of the most recurring insults that are ever placed against our hated Princess, and that's what I'm wondering where most haters have been losing their credibility.

Did Peach ever wear provocative clothes? NO. (unless you have a fetishism towards biker suits and similar outfits)

Has she ever tried to seduce anyone she saw? NEVER (what you see on Rule34 and other lewd sites is not canon, I'm sorry)

Let's be clear: Peach is just the opposite of the stereotype of the prostitute, as being a sweet, gentle, and that kind of girl who rarely makes sloppy thoughts; And yet Mario is not the kind of game that is suitable to show sensual girls often.

Another point: how do people define as that Peach and not Pauline or Valentina from Super Mario RPG, who are wearing much revealing clothes (and not even worthy to be called with those sick names)? Mystery of the Faith.

PS. Giving a prostitute to someone is not fashionable anymore :3

Now, let’s analyse that kind of insults that relate with Peach’s relationships with other characters

"Peach isn’t grateful to Mario!!!!1!"

Ever since Peach has never been grateful to Mario? WHEN? She kisses him, and fills him with cakes. What should the Princess do more with him? having sex is not a good answer, and it doesn't even marrying him.

Mario is still a sweet and family friendly series, if you want NSFW art, go to rule34 or look good at deviantart, but don’t expect explicit scenes in similar games.

"Peach is a tyrant who abuses Toads!!!1!"

But since that is so, seriously, did I miss some details? And no, The Game Theorists, aren’t worth as a source of inspiration since theirs is only a mere SPECULATION (also badly made imho).

To me Peach has always seemed like the OPPOSITE of a tyrant! She’s a good sovereign who’s caring for her subjects, and most of the Toads are happy with her guide and willing whenever she needs help.

I guess you are thinking of the Toad used from the princess during Super Smash Bros: If we analyse well what our beloved mushroom does during the frames in which we can see him, we can notice that doesn’t acts as a shield for the princess, but is determined more than ever to attack with his spores, so for me this isn’t a point to demonise Peach at all.

Then do you think that in Smash bros Rosalina does something way more serious?! She fights with a Luma, one of her CHILDREN all the time. But since she is our beloved star waifu, Peach is not worth to be compared lmao.

Again this time implore the sacred goddess of the consistency for forgiving their vain words...

"Peach betrays Daisy!!!1!"

Peach and Daisy have proven themselves to be best friends since the first time they appeared together, and even now their idyllic relationship hasn’t stopped being shown in the games and even in that LINE stickers that came out a while ago!

How Peach Should betray Daisy? For Rosalina, for Pauline? I think all the girls in the world of Mario are friendly to each other, so I don’t see any reasons in a betray, since at worst they are in a friendly rivalry.

"Peach is much less sexy than Rosalina / Pauline!!!1!"

If I can understand why Pauline can be considered sensual, how should Rosalina be? She’s wearing just a turquoise dress, which does not reveals much, and which can only be sexualized in the most indecent fanarts drawn by FANS indeed, but we all know the new religion that places the guardian of the Lumas to a brand new god.

However, all of Mario girls have been designed to be beautiful, not sex objects, not even Pauline, and none of them will agree to be your beautiful waifus condescending to all your fantasies, deal with it!

"Peach is not tomboy like Daisy is!!!1!"

And this is what connects to the previous point where the Princess was insulted to be girly. Assuming that even Daisy, in her own way, is girly (if she was totally a tomboy, she wouldn’t certainly wear those long dresses with ease, nor she would have her notorious passion for flowers), it’s not nice to have a bit of variety in the characters personalities? Go on, Peach is a gentle and sweet girl, Daisy is exuberant and sporty, Rosalina, calm and majestic, Wendy spoiled yet powerful, Toadette cheerful and curious, and finally Pauline concrete and passionate. Everyone compensates their gaps with the others, and this balance between the girls is fine, so please do not compare all the girls, Peach first, to Daisy.

"Peach appears too much in the games, so she's overrated!!!1!"

Guys, our princess is one of the protagonists of Mario's videogames, along with the plumber, his brother, Bowser and Toad, so it's natural that she often appears in the games. After all, Peach (after Pauline, who belonged for long time to another series) is the first of the princesses to appear, so it's logical that Nintendo would value that in this way.

And another little thing: the word overrated does NOT mean popular in its own universe, it means overly popular among its FANS.

And Peach has relatively few fans compared to the other main characters.

And, as the final cherry on the cake, let’s talk about Odyssey, who can have reassume prevous points, but what is equally needed, because of the following reasons

"PEACH IS A BITCH WHO HASN’T ACCEPTED MARIO'S PROPOSAL, STUPID AND UNGRATEFUL!!!1! THAT’S OBVIOUS THAT MARIO CHOOSES PAULINE!!!1!"

And here we come to the juice of the speech, and at this point I would like to ask: but have you seen the final cutscene of the game, or are you just knocking on your keyboards to don’t make feel the keys alone and misunderstood?

Let’s assume that after a long, tiring journey along the WHOLE world, with a monster bigger at least the triple of you who is doing everything to organize a NOT-wanted marriage with you; and immediately soon after being rescued, at the end of an extravagant battle, you have not one, but TWO contenders for your hand, what are you doing? The doll who gives all of herself to her hero just because she saved you? But in which period are we, in the nineteenth century?

Guys, let's talk seriously, would you immediately answer to a such serious question, which can change the rest of your life, on the moon under such conditions? I really don’t think so.

So Peach did, showing her intelligence, and why not, joking over it. It wasn’t the place nor the time for Mario and Bowser to move such proposals, and I honestly think that Peach done right to refuse both of them, I believe, momentarily.

And so centuries of feminist struggles went cancelled because of a video game character...

"PEACH HAS LEFT MARIO AND BOWSER ON THE MOON!!1!"

Yeah, okay, Odyssey's final was what it was, but you can’t hate a character because she's not a puppet in Mario or Bowser's hand. Tell me, you first complained that Peach had no character and now that she has explicated it, in good, you hate her the same? Consistency, this unknown concept...

However, for this detail, have you noticed that Peach eventually called Mario on the Odyssey, even though it had already started to fly? Mario had all the time he needed to get on board with the Princess and her friends. Even if Mario couldn't make it to the Odyssey (which is also unlikely under a cautious analysis of the cutscene), I even highly doubt that not only Bowser but all the other wedding's guests (including PAULINE) were diying there, surely there was at least ONE other vehicle which could bring back them home.

Also think about Peach's dialogues in the post-game: she completely forgave Mario's misbehaving and she's still happy to see him to the point to give him all the moons she gets! So she’s not that ungrateful...

And that's what I needed to say. Guys, please stop hating Peach, she didn’t do anything, and certainly she doesn’t deserve your insults.

In these times, the princess is among the main characters the most hated, even much more than Daisy or Zelda, who have their great slice of fans, who would do anything for them and even considering them "better" in Smash Bros.

I'm sorry to have written this rant but I'm sure this time is really needed...

Fandoms, Mario included, can be beautiful places where you can meet fantastic people but at the same time you can witness this free hate episodes even from famous personalities...

Thank you for reading, and see you soon.

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P.S. Below I show you the main places where the princess is hated for the above reasons.

Gamefaqs, TheTopTens.com, Marioboards, DeviantArt and Youtube

P.P.S. Please, do not go to the video I've mentioned only to insult the youtuber: despite that entry is far from being well-crafted, he made enjoyable content as well. He deserves respect as well and if you really want to discuss in the comment section about the subject, please be polite

P.P.P.S. If you hate Peach and you feel to comment here, please write maturely, well-structured comments. If we can have a mature dialogue, it's best for both of us.

#princesspeach #princess peach #rant #stop hate #mario princess #nintendo #stop peach hate #give her a chance #super mario odyssey #princess daisy #rosalina #underrated characters #stop character bashing #super smash bros #cute princess #peach #give her love

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aph-madeline-au · 5 years

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“What a waste,” Bunty muttered, shaking her head as she looked through her cards. “And after I went through all that trouble to get that chicken. And I plucked it myself, too!”

She gave a gusty, heartfelt sigh, and Erminhilt was very nearly tempted to let her win this round, just to make her feel better. Still, no doubt Bunty would take such pity as a personal insult against her card-playing abilities, so she didn’t. However, she did share a commiserating glance with her Italian colleague before they both turned their gazes to the stares, up which Erminhilt had sent the girls not an hour ago, Felisa still sobbing onto an exasperated Livinia’s shoulder.

“I mean, what did she think we had the chicken for?” Bunty went on, frowning at her cards. “A pet?”

“Knowing Feli, that’s exactly what she thought,” murmured Erminhilt. “Any fives?”

“Go fish,” replied Bunty moodily, “I mean, I was rather hoping that Livinia would set her straight, or at least that she wouldn’t go along with Feli’s nonsense.”

Erminhilt smiled slightly. “Well, Felisa was very upset. Much more upset than Livinia expected, I think. You can hardly blame her.”

“No,” said Bunty, “But it’s such a waste of perfectly good food. Aces?”

Erminhilt shook her head, and Bunty retrieved her card from the pile. Upstairs, all was silent and as it should be, despite the ruckus that had occurred over dinner earlier on. Granted, Erminhilt had expected some kind of upset from the moment Bunty had brought back a live chicken and let the girls – in particular Felisa – see it, but she hadn’t foreseen quite that level of meltdown. She could still hear Felisa’s wails of grief for ‘Luigi’ echoing around the dining room. Her proposal that they all convert to vegetarianism was perhaps understandable, if a touch melodramatic.

Livinia had tried to calm her sister, of course, in her usual gruff and heavy-handed manner, but once confronted with the full force of just how stricken Felisa was, she’d relented and agreed to join her in giving up meat. And of course, Amelia had been ready to agree (she was always up for joining all of the latest causes and societies), and Maud was dragged in as usual. Then Luitgard had agreed, if only to cheer up Felisa, and had strong-armed Gertraud into it also. The other girls had been less keen – Kuniko, Mathilde, Eha and Suyumbike had gone along with it, but Erminhilt had definitely seen all of them sneaking mouthfuls of chicken when Felisa wasn’t watching. Alice and Irina had both refused, Alice because she was contrary and Irina because she wanted to get on Amelia’s nerves.

“Tens,” she asked distractedly, when Bunty cleared her throat impatiently. Bunty huffed, and handed a pair over. With a hum of satisfaction, Erminhilt laid down her third set.

“Even when you aren’t paying attention you’re better than I am,” she grumbled, before glancing up at the ceiling. “All quiet. You know, I was sure the little blighters would be down here after five minutes after some more food. Threes.”

“Just the one,” yawned Erminhilt, handing it over, careful to keep the card up her sleeve well hidden. It was probably blasphemy or something, to hide a card up her nun’s uniform, but then again, Bunty’s expression of baffled confusion when she inevitably lost was worth it.

So focused was Erminhilt on the card game that she didn’t even spot several small figures darting past the open dining room doors.

“I can’t believe we made it!” hissed Suyumbike gleefully, beckoning the other girls forward. “Thank goodness for Go Fish, eh?”

Felisa gave her a watery smile, still clutching Luitgard’s hand. Livinia cast her a bitter look, and stormed off ahead. Alice rolled her eyes. This was all ridiculous, but she didn’t bother saying so – she’d already said it, after all, several times, and it hadn’t done any good then and she didn’t think it would do any good now. Besides, she enjoyed a good caper every now and again.

As soon as they’d reached the relative safety of the kitchen, the girls split up. Alice, who hadn’t got to eat as much dinner as she’d have liked, even if she had refused to give up meat, headed straight for the biscuit cupboard, but alas, it was empty. Perhaps Bunty had needed the sugar ration for something else this week.

Still, there was always bread. Boring, perhaps, but Alice was hungry.

“Hey, guys!” Suyumbike called suddenly.

Alice turned, and was immediately struck with the urge to roll her eyes. Suyumbike had climbed onto the table, and was mucking about with a bra that Bunty had obviously hung up to dry. Naturally Gertraud, Mathilde and Amelia thought it was hilarious – because they were morons with the mental capacity of cabbages. Even Maud and Felisa giggled, and Eha grinned. Livinia and Luitgard, because Alice would grudgingly admit that they had some taste, just rolled their eyes.

“We could bake something!” piped up Irina from where she’d been peeking into some of the books on Bunty’s shelves, “I’ve found a recipe!”

There were gasps of delight – even Alice found herself smiling, and had to force herself to stop, in case Amelia saw and told everyone. Maud scurried over to the cupboard and after a fearful glance towards the door to check for Bunty and Frau Vogel, pulled out a box.

“Flour!” she called. Well, Maud’s version of a call, anyway. More like normal speech volume for any other person. Whispering volume for Amelia. Meanwhile, Eha had thrown open the doors to the larder, ignoring Luitgard’s frantic calls for order. Mathilde clumsily climbed onto the table with Suyumbike and – with a cry of delight – managed to find another bra. Alice watched them dancing about for a minute, unsure of whether this was funny or pathetic. She was leaning more towards the latter, to be honest, but that could just be her.

“Oh, hey, a box!” Eha stepped out of the cupboard with a box, before prising it open. Immediately, a horrendous smell began spreading into the room. Alice gagged, her hands shooting up to cover her nose in horror.

“Bunty-sensei’s cheese!” wheezed Kuniko, who didn’t like cheese at the best of times.

“Gorgonzola!” agreed Livinia, from where she and Felisa had been stood in the corner, apparently having another argument judging by the pout on Felisa’s face and the scowl on Livinia’s. “Close the box, Eha!”

Eha did so, looking moments from keeling over, and hurried back to the cupboard, past Gertraud who was making fake retching noises and Luitgard, who was rubbing her temples like Frau Vogel did when she was stressed.

BANG BANG BANG!

Alice jumped out of her skin – an air raid? She hadn’t heard a siren – and whirled around to look out of the window, just in time to hear the Vargas twins give piercing screams. In the window were two devils, fearsome and red-faced and wearing billowing black capes that faded into the darkness outside, banging and clawing at the glass. Gertraud bellowed something in German and leapt towards an alarmed Luitgard and dragged her backwards. An almighty crash sounded from the larder and Eha sprang backwards into Irina. Mathilde yelled and staggered backwards, grabbing at Suyumbike’s arm and dragging them both down off the table, still wearing bras, and right on top of Kuniko. Amelia screamed also, almost matching Livinia and Felisa for volume, and launched herself at Maud, who had jumped so badly she threw the box of flour. As Alice watched, frozen, the cloud of flour coated Maud and Amelia, whilst a finer dust settled slowly on everyone else in the room.

The devils continued to wail and bang on the window, and then – one of their cloaks slipped. It was just for a second, but it flapped open to reveal a rather pretty periwinkle dress. A periwinkle dress that Alice recognised.

With a snarl, she leapt forward, causing the devils to scarper. She scrabbled at the window, throwing it open, and yelled:

“I KNOW IT’S YOU, FROG! GO AWAY AND DON’T COME BACK!” she paused to sneeze, which probably didn’t do much for her threatening image, before continuing, “AND IF YOU DO COME BACK, I’LL-”

“You’ll what, Alice Kirkland?”

Alice cringed, closed the window, brushed off her dress, and finally turned around. Frau Vogel was stood over her, her habit somewhat askew and her hands on her hips, looking distinctly unimpressed. Alice swallowed. She was already in disgrace for yelling when Lord Cuckoo-Face had arrived earlier, and Frau Vogel was already irritated because of both that and the little display at dinner the night before.

“They scared the others,” Alice said weakly, “I was just making them go away.”

Frau Vogel turned to look at the others. Amelia was still clutching Maud, breathing hard, her glasses wonky on her face, and Gertraud was still stood in front of Luitgard, her arms slightly spread and her face even paler than usual. Livinia and Felisa, still sniffling slightly, were clinging to Abundantia as she checked over Kuniko, Mathilde, Suyumbike, Irina and Eha for any injuries.

“Anything serious?” asked Frau Vogel. Abundantia shook her head with a laugh.

“A few cuts and bruises, on trodden-on toe for Irina, a slightly squashed Kuniko, and Eha was hit on the head with a tin of spam,” she answered, “I think they’ll live.”

Frau Vogel nodded, and turned back to Alice, frowning severely. However, before she could so much as open her mouth, Amelia spoke up, her voice a little higher than usual.

“She’s telling the truth!” she said breathlessly, “Alice scared them off – we were all too scared.”

Warmth blossomed in Alice’s chest, and she looked past Frau Vogel to give Amelia a small smile. Frau Vogel began to speak, paused, tried again, and then gave a deep sigh and rubbed her face tiredly. When Alice dared to look up, however, she wasn’t angry anymore – she was smiling.

“Bunty,” she said, “I suppose we’d better get these young ladies something to eat, if that’s okay with you. I don’t think they’ll be sleeping anytime soon.”

“On it.”

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hjazysol · 5 years

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I’m sorry I got to ask for another one can you please make a scenario of the smashers reacts to how botw link is a crazy killing machine in his world and they learn about his final battle with dark beast Gannon please I love your blog

Sure thing pal glad to see you love the content 😁

All the smashers were comparing some of their greatest accomplishments in their adventures.

DK: Let's see, I think I punched the moon out of orbit once.

Mario: That's-a nothing. Me and Luigi have-a survived an explosion similar to that of a nuclear warhead in a tennis court.

Samus: That's nothing compared to dealing with Ridley's scaly ass every single time.

Ridley: Also, Dark Samus, Mother Brain & Kraid.

Samus: I swear he's immortal.

Pit: You can't beat killing the god of the underworld.

Simon: What about killing death itself then Pit.

Dedede: Ya'll are missing the fact that I am the one that saved all of ya'll in Subspace.

Everyone: That's true. He did save us.

Link: Wow! All your stories are incredible guys, all I've done is take down tons of killer guardian robots, stop 4 evil spawns of malice and stop a world destroying demon.

C.Falcon: Woah! Slow down kid let other people get a chance in the spotlight.

Palutena: Said the guy who hasn't had a game in years to the boy who's killed a demon.

Link: Oh I'm not a kid I'm well over 100 by now.

Dedede: Sorry what?

Samus: How the heck do you look so young!

Link: That's a long story. 100 Years Ago it was said that a great threat in the form of the great calamity would arise and plague Hyrule and other areas with it's malice. To defend against the calamity we built Guardians, as well as 4 divine beasts each piloted by each races standing Champion. The Gerudo Urbosa, the Goron Daruk, the Zora Mipha and my least favourite, the high flyer, the ace shot,the Rito Revali.

Falco: Sounds like a cool dude. Like me.

Link: He's a huge egotistical jerk.

Fox: Just like you.

Falco: Shut up Fox.

Link: I had no need for a divine beast as I hold the Sword that Seals the Darkness, and with the help of my version of Zelda, we were tasked to seal The Great Calamity away for good. But we failed, the guardians and divine beasts were taken by The Calamity, the 4 other champions died, and I was badly injured. Zelda as a last resort took me to the Shrine of Resurrection where I slept for 100 years to heal my injuries. Eventually, I would wake up and stop the calamity.

Doomguy: Wow, well aren't you a lean, mean, killing machine!

Link: As much as I'd love that to be true that title belongs to Kirby.

Kirby: Poyo!

Samus: That and you can't fight off a couple chickens.

Link: They're demons I tell you!

#super smash bros #super smash bros ultimate #mario #donkey kong #samus #doomguy #king dedede #kirby #link #captain falcon #falco #fox #pit #simon #zelda #calamity ganon #palutena #ridley

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radioactivepeasant · 5 years

Text

Fic Prompts: Folklore Friday

So, I realized that my version of The Boy Who Went To Learn About Shudders doesn’t really match the original story all that much, so now I’m doing a “Radio Explains Fairytales Badly” for this one.

Right, this is a weird one.

So this isn’t one you’re likely to see a Disney adaptation of, unless Disney really really runs out of ideas. And they might. Who knows.

So to start with, we’ve got this man, and he’s got two sons. Fairytale patterns dictate that the younger one is going to go out on some kind of adventure. The dad goes to his boys like, “Okay, it’s time for you to learn a trade!” (In other words, get a job! ) And he asks them what they’re going to do with their lives. The older one’s answer isn’t really recorded that I remember, presumably because he’s the oldest and is probably going to take over whatever the dad’s business is, being the firstborn and all.

The dad asks the younger one, “What kind of trade do you want to learn?”

And he says, “I want to learn to shudder.”

Hm. Ah. Okay, so, in this day and age, that could mean “I’m going to make Let’s Plays of horror games on the internet and earn money that way!” or “I’m going to be a professional tester of carnival haunted-houses and get paid to be scared out of my wits!” or “I’m going to sew clothes made out of that awful material they make picnic tableclothes out of, the kind that gives you goosebumps whenever it touches your skin.” But in presumably-medieval fairytale-land, that’s just not a viable career choice.

And everyone seems to realize, “Wait, I don’t think this kid actually knows what fear is!”

Now, the local sexton, for some reason, hears about this. And he tells the dad, “Hey, tell the kid -- okay, he needs a name, let’s say Charlie -- to go to the belltower in the church at midnight and ring the bell. I can help him learn to shudder, then he can go job hunting like the rest of us.”

This apparently does not strike the dad as odd. The sexton clearly has some kind of prank in mind, the lack of reaction does make you wonder how many other people he has done this to.

So the boy is sent out to the church at night, and he rings the bell at midnight. And in comes the sexton, wearing a sheet, and pretending to be a ghost. That’s not all that concerning to the boy. Maybe he could see the guy’s feet, I don’t know.

“What are you doing here?” the boy asks, and since he’s in-character at the moment, the sexton doesn’t answer. The boy decides he doesn’t like this in the slightest, and chucks the guy down the stairs, which seems like a fairly drastic reaction to a guy in a bedsheet wandering a belltower at night.

The sexton breaks his leg.

There’s a little bit of a hue and cry over that in the village. This is understandable, but to be fair, he was up in a dark belltower at night trying to scare a guy with no concept of fear. He probably should’ve planned for something weird happening.

So the dad says, “Son, you should probably skip town, lay low for a while. You broke that guy’s leg!”

And he’s like, “Okay Dad, maybe I’ll find someone else to teach me how to shudder!”

He goes off, probably hitchiking, and wanders into this other town where he apparently tells anyone who will listen that he’s trying to learn to shudder. He meets this guy who says “Hey, you should spend a night sitting under the gallows. That will guaranteed creep you out.”

This is fair, that is a perfectly logical thing to creep a person out. Unless you’re this kid, apparently.

He goes and he sits under the gallows that night and --

Okay. So, I do have some questions about this protagonist. I’m kind of wondering how old he’s supposed to be, or else whether he’s just been living some kind of idyllic, sheltered village life. Because at this point, it’s midnight, and he’s sitting under the gallows and there are actual dead men up there. Actual, very dead men, and he doesn’t look at them and think “Hey, those are some dead guys!”

No, he looks at them and thinks, “Hey, they look cold!”

That...wouldn’t be my first thought when I’m looking at a corpse, I’m just gonna be honest with you. But that’s apparently his first thought, so he goes up and he cuts them down! Off the gallows! He cuts these guys down off the gallows and sits them down in front of his fire!

These are, as we have established, dead men, so they don’t really sit up well at the fire. They kinda...lean, or sort of flop, I guess. And one of them’s clothes catch fire. Because the kid sat a dead guy right up against the fire. And the kid gets mad.

“Well if you’re not sensible enough to move away from the fire,” he says, apparently thinking this corpse can hear him, “I’m going to put you back where I found you!”

And he does. He puts all seven of these dead guys, who were probably up there for a reason, back on the gallows. Ah...okay, kiddo. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

And the next day he goes on, unsatisfied, because he didn’t learn to shiver. He goes travelling for a while with this waggoner. And presumably this waggoner has had to hear some really weird stuff during this trip. They end up staying in this town and someone is like, “Hey guys, did you know there’s a haunted castle here? Would anybody like to stay there?”

Of course, our boy is like, “Boy would I! Maybe I’ll learn to shudder!”

(And everybody else is thinking, “Yeah, if this doesn’t work, we don’t know what to do with you.”)

Come to find out, there was this king who really wanted to stay there. But he really couldn’t, because that castle was super haunted. And, y’know, you can’t really do your day-to-day king stuff when you’ve got shrieking and moaning and chains-dragging-down-the-hall going on. It’s kind of distracting, keeps interrupting the budget meetings. And once you’ve figured out that the shrieking and moaning isn’t the people trapped in the budget meetings, then you gotta call the fairytale equivalent of the Ghostbusters.

In this particular case, because it’s an old fairytale with...less than stellar social situations for some people...calling the Ghostbusters looks like the king saying “Anybody who clears out this castle can marry my daughter. She’s super pretty, by the way. And you’d get to rule my kingdom.”

Dude. You really want to screen people a little better than that. At least have some minimum qualifications, come on. You could get some kind of Ghostbuster Prince, or you could get a weirdo out for power, or you could get Luigi in yet another haunted mansion. I mean, if that’s what you’re looking for in a son-in-law okay, you do you, but the point is: you don’t know what you’re going to get when you basically put the princess’s hand up for auction like that. I’m just saying.

So, the boy doesn’t seem like he’s really got an interest in marrying the princess. All he wants to do is learn to shudder and go on his adventures. And he’s like, “Alright, I’ll stay the three nights in your haunted castle.”

And the king says, “You can take three non-living items with you.”

I don’t know why he made this rule. Maybe this was his attempt at screening some of the would-be son-in-laws coming through? It’s entirely arbitrary, most of these things are. So the kid asks for a tinder set to make a fire, a lathe, and a cutting board that comes with a knife. Okay, technically that’s probably four or five items, but the king allows it.

The boy sets up camp, and to be fair, he’s by himself in a large, drafty castle at night. Nobody’s keeping the place warm, and there’s no central heating. So fire and flint was a good choice. He gets set up and the first night he’s there he hears these voices wailing and crying about how cold they are.

His reaction is to yell something along the lines of, “I have a fire right here you nitwits! Just come warm yourselves!”

No concept of fear, and apparently not much for patience, either.

Out of the shadows jump these giant black cats. Now, I don’t know if they’re ghost cats, or some kind of cat sidhe, but either way they were probably up to no good in that particular castle. The cats come up to the fire and propose a card game.

If talking animals come up to you and say, “Hey, do you wanna play cards with us?”, there is probably an ulterior motive and you should probably be suspicious.

So, they start playing, and a couple turns in the kid realizes that the cats are cheating. This bothers him more than the fact that talking animals who don’t have opposable thumbs are holding cards and playing with a human. Animals behaving wildly out of character is apparently a-okay, but by golly they’d best not cheat at cards! Go figure.

He uses the knife and cutting board to somehow trap the cats’ paws. I think he may have said something about filing their claws, but unless there was some kind of clamp or something on the board to hold food down, I don’t know how one goes about trapping something with a cutting board.

In one version I’ve seen, he proceeds to throw the cats out the window, which is cruel even if they might’ve been planning to eat him or whatever ghostly card-cheat cats do in their spare time. In another version, he just chucked them out the chamber door and into the night to sulk, which I prefer because let’s not have our fairytale protagonist engaging in animal cruelty. Absolute no-thank-you.

Things get a little hairy after that, pretty much every shadow in the room comes to life and takes the shape of a giant black dog or cat that’s trying to scratch out his fire and tear him to pieces. This time, I’d say his actions are a little more justified, because he’s just defending himself. He picks up the knife and cutting board and fights off all the animals doing their darndest to kill him, and the results are rather gruesome and gory despite the fact that these things seem to be shadows that came to life rather than actual animals.

Despite how horrible all this was, the boy just kind of thinks, “Well, that sure was a thing,” and decides to go to sleep. He gets in bed, and the thing takes a page from Beauty and the Beast and goes marching off with him still atop it, which actually sounds kind of fun. Then it tips over and attempts to crush him, which is less fun. And that’s the end of Night One.

Well, the second night comes around, and as he’s setting up his fire, an actual human torso falls down the chimney. Most people, if confronted with a torso falling down a chimney, would probably either react like someone in a horror movie and peer up the chimney (thereby pretty much guaranteeing that they’ll be the next to go), or else run screaming from the room. Running away from Unexpected Trespassing Torsos is a perfectly valid response.

This guy looks up the chimney and yells, “Hey! You’re missing a piece! Where’s the other half?!”

Obligingly, whatever ghost is up there throws the other half down. Which then puts itself together and steals the kid’s seat by the fire. He is rather annoyed about this. And then all these other bones and body parts start falling down, all these various pieces, and they form into several other kind of dead guys who set up a game of ninepins with human bones and skulls.

This does not faze the kid. He’s all, “I want in on this!” and he takes his lathe to smooth the skulls out, because a skull as a bowling ball isn’t really going to roll all that well. And the probably-dead guys are somewhat appreciative of their new and improved bowling-skulls, so they let the kid join the game. He loses some money to the dead guys who can dismember themselves and throw themselves up and down chimneys. The former part of that sentence probably bothered him more than the latter part. And that’s the end of Night Two.

Now we get to the third night. On the third night, the door opens up, and these six guys come in. Now mind you, there have been no people in the castle thus far. Just the kid, some ghost animal things, and the dismembering ninepin party. But now six guys come in, holding a coffin. And inexplicably, this kid comes to the conclusion that this is his cousin who has died, and he’s very distressed and pulls off the lid of the coffin to wail and hug this corpse.

Okay, I’d like to point out two things:

First, that coffin lid was closed, so I don’t know why he’d assume it was his cousin. Maybe the guy was doing poorly before he left home, I don’t know, but why would they bring the body to the castle?

Secondly, let’s consider how the kid has reacted to dead people thus far. Does he...does he even understand the concept of death? Or is he just thinking “I’ll warm up my cold cousin with a hug!”

Actually, that might be the point of the story, what with him having no fear. It might be a story about someone who lacks fear because he has absolutely no concept of his own mortality. Maybe because a lot of fears are rooted in the idea of death?

Anyway, the dead guy does wake up, because this is a very haunted castle. And he’s understandably confused about this strange man hugging him and crying, and threatens to strangle him if he doesn’t let go. This seems a little drastic, but to be honest, if I woke up to a random guy hugging me, I wouldn’t be thrilled either.

So then the boy is kind of upset by this, he doesn’t really want to be strangled, thanks, and he kind of closes up the coffin and steps back like “okay, you can take this away now.”

The only other thing that really happens that night is that this random old man comes in. Why is he there? We don’t know. How did he get in? We don’t know that either, unless he’s a ghost. And for some reason, because the kid reacts violently towards a lot of things, he traps this guy’s beard in an anvil, and beats him up! WHY?! I can remember no reason for this! Why would you do that?!

But he does, and he’s passed the three nights in the haunted castle at this point. The king says, “Oh, okay, did you happen to get rid of the ghosts?”

“I don’t know about ghosts,” says the kid, “You’ve got some weird people in there, though. The old guy I beat up with an anvil showed me where all this treasure was in there though, so that was cool.”

The king is probably thinking, “Uh...okay, that was, that was my treasure, actually….since I, y’know, lived there...but okay I guess?”

So the boy marries the princess. That’s the way it goes in a lot of stories: the princess isn’t so much a character as a prize at the end of the journey. “And they all live happily ever after.” Blech.

In this case, however, it’s a little different.

First of all, nobody ever seems to stop and think about the fact that this is a guy with zero qualifications for this job who has just been told, “here, have a kingdom and a wife. Mind you don’t go wandering anymore! Now you are required to learn some administrative skills, because you’re in charge of an entire kingdom! Have fun, kiddo!”

I mean, I wouldn’t want to be that guy.

So not only is he married to a complete stranger now, but he can’t go wandering and looking for the shudders anymore, because now he has to learn things like politics and budgeting. Compare this with a similar tale from England with a female protagonist: her story ended with her getting paid a heck ton of money for beating up a zombie with a stick, and she gets to go back home and do whatever the heck she wants with her life, because now she’s filthy rich.

I think the girl protagonist got the better deal, guys.

And that’s not even mentioning the princess, here. She gets a little tired of hearing her new husband moan and groan about never having learned to shudder. And she decides to Take Steps about it. This is the kind of princess who, if she’s annoyed enough with her husband, goes and gets a bucket of ice cold water and fills it with gudgeon. Which are apparently a kind of small, bottom-dwelling fish. Live gudgeon. In a bucket of ice cold water.

She takes this bucket into his room at night and goes, “You wanted to learn what it’s like when your skin crawls?” and throws living fish on him.

And he, presumably, was like “GAH!” and then thanks his wife for teaching him what shuddering feels like. And that’s how his story ends: stuck in a castle, learning politics, and married to a woman who will, in fact, put live fish in his bed if he angers her. H-happily ever after?

And he never does actually learn what fear is, in the end.

#folklore friday #radio ruins another fairytale #explaining fairytales badly #the boy who went to discover the shudders #fairytales #folktales #this is one of several stories i've seen where marrying a princess doesn't mean happily ever after #because she didn't get to choose her husband and by thunder does she ever let him know it in those stories #hence another story where the male protagonist learns to never anger a princess #maybe the king was so eager to use the castle as an excuse to marry off his daughter because of that #like maybe the other suitors had all figured out 'princess is the boss. don't cross her'#but the kid doesn't know fear and thus probably missed some red flags. Now he's stuck in what doesn't seem like a healthy marriage tbh #oh well. that's the way the story goes #fic prompts #writing prompts

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echoeternally · 6 years

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A, C, M, T (for that shipping ask)

Oh goodie, these things!

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

Why would you start me with this? Oh no. Hmm. Well, I guess I can list some:

Pokemon

Alakazam/Machamp - You thought I’d have settled down over this. You were wrong. Pretty sure they’re my favorites from the series atm.

Salazzle/Heliolisk - I don’t talk about it very much (yet), but I’m actually a sucker for these two as well.

Nidoking/Rhydon - Some asks from my side-blog reminded me of what a trash shipper I am for these two.

Greninja/Chesnaught - Not as much lately, but I still love them together.

Cloyster/Forretress (Friendship) - Not relating to my fanfics at all, have you seen that cute picture I posted of them? Because it’s cute, and precious, and my heart can’t take how much I needed them like that.

Nidoqueen with someone that isn’t Nidoking.

Feraligatr with someone too.

…Ok, fine. Samurott/Typhlosion. Shut it.

Carracosta/Blastoise - I made them cute husbands/dads, and now I can’t get over them.

Super Mario

Bowser/Mario - The OTP that will never die down ever. Seriously, I can’t get over them. It’s like the best enemies to lovers pairing around. The more that people become interested in them together, the happier I get about them.

Yoshi/Birdo - I’ve toyed around with the thought of them again lately. They’re cute.

Peach/Pauline - I thought I was being cool, and then Odyssey fan art made me trash for these two. (Spoilers: I heard they don’t really interact in the game, and that bothers me extensively.)

Luigi/King Boo - I stumbled upon it a while back, and it’s crossed my mind a bit lately. It’s weird, I know.

Koopalings/Junior (Family/Friendship) - I really love them all being a family of twerpish little monsters, I can’t. Also, all of them with Bowser.

Mario/Peach - Kinda feels like treason from me, but I do like them. (I don’t think I ever denied it?) Friends, more than that, less, their dynamic is one that just works well. (Odyssey helped make it just friends for now, though, mwahahaha!)

Star Fox

Fox/Falco - I blame others for talking about it around me, and now I default to them being gay maybe-boyfriends. Thanks a lot.

Fox/Peppy - Don’t look at me like that. It was a joke, and now I like it.

Fox/Panther - It’s another joke pairing that I magically became very fond of. They’d make a really cute couple if anyone gave it a chance, but nnoooo, they’d never.

Fox/Katt - You know, it comes into my head as Katt’s way to get Falco to notice her better, and then she ends up falling for Fox, and that’s a thing now, help.

Panther/Katt - I wrote it once and it’s never stopped popping into my head. They’d be fitting for each other, really. Why has this not crossed more people’s minds?

Krystal/Katt - Apparently I’m shipping Katt around like she’s everyone’s babe, but like, the idea of them having a dynamic past “only two girls around” always interests me. It mirrors Fox/Panther to a degree, except without the initial hostilities.

Fire Emblem

Summoner/Orbs (Heroes) - The truest relationship ever.

Robin/Chrom (Awakening) - I’m trash for them. More for the gay version than straight, what a surprise. Warriors didn’t help me.

Sumia/Olivia (Awakening) - Someone wrote them together as a couple for a gay hack, and, help me, I can’t get over them.

Robin/Lon’qu (Awakening) - Straight, gay, doesn’t matter. (Though I’m sure you’d guess what I prefer.) I feel like Lon’qu works as a great partner for the Tactician.

Lyn/Florina (Blazing Sword) - Again from hacks, again I’ve become trash for such a pairing.

Florina/Ninian (Blazing Sword) - People introduce me to such ideas, and I can’t get over them. Heellllpp.

Corrin/Niles (Fates) - What can I say? They’re the gays. Uh, I mean, Niles could totally be with FemCor…screw it, he’s for ManCorrin.

Corrin/Florina (Fates) - She needs Corrin badly! (Fem over Man, but…nah, Fem better.)

Corrin/All Siblings (Family) (Fates) - I just want them to all be happy together. Even if there are two Corrins…actually, wait, that’s even better. I want to see all their siblings freak at two Corrins. And then Azura’s like, “Wait, which Corrin is mine? Who do I follow? Both Corrins?” It’s great.

Ok, I’m tired of these, so that’s all I’ve got in my head atm. Honorable mention to the Bomber Bros. from Super Bomberman R, because I’m trash for family shenanigans, it seems.

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Hmm…I guess a bunch that involve NOTP ideas of mine. Usually characters that I can’t stand, are irredeemable in some regards, involve kids, involve abuse, etc.

Outside of those…I dunno. I have one in mind, but it’s better that I don’t say it aloud anywhere.

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Oh gosh, a whole bunch! Using not my own characters, I’d easily pick the Mario Bros., because they’d be great friends. They’re fun and loyal, ready to go against all kinds of odds to help who they care about! And Bowser, actually! Sure, he’d be hard to get through, but can you imagine having that kind of persistence from a friend? Oh, oh, and Kirby too! He would be a great friend! Even if he eats…everything. I think all of them would be great friends to have.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Uhhh…Mario and Luigi are good brothers and like each other? Which is canon. …Idk if I’d die for that one, but yeah. Bowser being a good dad for Junior is another that I like. Outside of Mario things…Fox is bi, Katt is poly, and Panther is pan, lol, goodbye.

Hmm. I’m not too good with these, I realize. Not using my own fanfics for answers makes it a challenge too. I failed that for the first part above, but here I am adamantly avoiding them.

#askecho #wings-koopa #fandom asks #pokemon #super mario #star fox #fire emblem #bomberman #kirby #relationships #and #beyond #nintendo #i should consider things past video games #oops

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beahina · 7 years

Note

Dudeeeeeeeeeeeee do all the even numbers, for that ask game! XD your welcome, i love you!

oH boy ok here:2(Do you have freckles?): nope, but my brother has the prettiest freckles!!4(last song you listened to): the bunny hop because it was playing on the jazz station in the car lol6(relationship status): technically single but it's v confusing lol8(did you wake up cranky?): surprisingly no, even though i slept at 2am and woke up at 9am lmaooo10(zodiac sign): I'm the year of the horse! unless you were talking about the constellation signs (which is also "zodiac" why are they both zodiac??) i'm an Aquarius!12(take a vitamin daily?): usually but i forget 90% of the time14(what books are you reading?): actually i'm only reading one right now and it's Alice through the Looking Glass (i just finished reading Alice in Wonderland)16(favorite anime?): hAIKYUU 18(do you collect anything?): i collect pins and stuff like tickets, stickers, photographs, that i put on my wall! also tons of crap i don't need ALSO STUFFED ANIMALS YEAH20(do you dance in the car?): yes lol it's pretty dorky22(do you watch the olympics?): when they are taking place yes!!! i love the olympics :0 i got to go to the usa training center multiple times for field trips lol, my favorite is the winter olympics because of my old young lived dream of becoming a olympic snowboard competitor haha24(are you wearing makeup right now?): yes but it might have gotten wiped off when i blew my nose and i cry when my allergies r really bad rip26(favorite tumblr blog?): ok no i can't choose sorry i love everyone i follow!!!28(what makes me happy?): ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ im not really in that position to answer this right now lmaoo 30(do you study better with or without music?): with music!! 32(if you were a crayon color, what color would you be?): either a bright yellow (dodie yellow???) or a dark warm brown34(would you swim in the lake or ocean?): HELL YEAHS i mean, i might die so there's a plus (joking, joking) but yeah i live near like 20 different rivers, lakes, bays, and sounds lol36(what color tshirt are you wearing?): earlier i was wearing a white one but now i'm wearing a greyish black sweater38(do you save money or spend it?): spend it lmao no hesitation40(do you have any obsessions right now): i've been obsessing over what dress to wear for the graduation dance. i'm tempted to go in a suit because i already own one and i'll be perceived more masculinely and it's more comfortable but like dRESSES GUYS i want to wear a dress really badly!! (like it's weird i don't like forced femininity but i think i can wear dresses because boys can wear dresses so fucking watch me)42(are you easily influenced by other people?): yeah but in a bad way i'm only influenced by when hey say something bad etc ._.44(do you like going on airplanes?): yes yes yes???46(peanuts or sunflower seeds?): sunflower seeds, in very picky on when where and what to eat peanuts with lol 48(are you a picky eater?): only when it comes to mushrooms onions and seafood. i love stuff like Brussel sprouts and asparagus and tomatoes broccoli etc 50(do you fear thunder / lightning?): no actually i love them!! here was an oncoming storm a few weeks ago and i was waiting by my window for it to start and when it did it was so exciting!!!52(do you like your music loud?): it really depends, i don't like sensory overload 54(put your music on shuffle, what is the first song that came up?): Elenor Rigby by The Beatles56(what are you craving right now?): nothing for once, i'm not that hungry (i just had a slurpee and candy ok fite me)58(coffee or tea?) tea!!60(do you have any homework right now? if so, what is it about?): lmaooo yes i do! i gotta find visuals (print off pictures basically) for a social studies project and memorize some of my presentation script for same class, and my chromatic scale on my tenor saxophone for band which is a week overdue but i'm lazy 62(do you make your bed in the morning?): no it's so hard to make i haven't made it in over like 4 months no joke64(favorite social media?): literally tumblr because that's the only social media i have 66(do you get homesick?): i used to a lot when i moved but now it's really starting to feel like home! but of course i'm always nostalgic for when i was younger.68(what shampoo and conditioner are you using right now?): idfk 70(are bob of your parents still in your life?): yes i live w them lol72(do you miss your ex?): don't have one74(what eye color do you find the sexiest?): brown because it can come in so many colors! my eyes are caramel while my friends are obsidian black and it's pretty that they can all look different!!76(what was the last thing you ate?): cherry slurpee and mini recees peanut butter cups78(would you give a homeless person cpr? why or why not?): i mean probably because i'm cpr certified and i'd like to save their life80(stalked someone on a social network?): not actually stalked but yes i've looked far far down a person's account 82(do you wear rings? if you do, take a picture of them.): i will!! I'll attach it in the next post.84(what are three things you did today?) get flowers for a friend, go to the mall, be exhausted and want to die as usual86(list all of your beauty products right now): face foam wash soap thing, face cleanser, face cream88(list all your video games on your phone, console, etc): lmao let me sit you down:on my phone i have neko atsume, color switch, smashy road, the trail, pokémon go (i haven't played it in months), and deemo (12/10 reccomend v pretty music and sad storyline lol)wiiu: mario bros, luigi bros, mario cart 8 (i rock ass at that), just dance idk what year or version, wii party, probably some other stuff, nintendo switch: 1-2 switch, breath of the wild, some just dance game again lolxbox1: minecraft, destiny, overwatch, ps4: star wars battle front, destinycomputer: sims 4, minecraft my 3ds: pokémon x, pokémon omega ruby, pokémon sun, animal crossing new leaf, mario bros, scribblenauts or whatever lolgame boy: some kid games like dora and stuff, hello kitty party game, fire emblem, pokémon grass (yES I HAVE A GAME BOY and actively use it) it's a lot but it's mostly my brothers and dads lol90(favorite soda drink?): ROOTBEER92(do you wear jeans or sweats more?): jeans are my life i used to be really mad if i couldn't wear jeans when i was younger!! still don't like sweatpants that much lol94(name something that relaxes you): sitting by my open window during night listening to music quietly96(favorite youtuber?): dodie clark!! then tessa violet!!! and a bunch of other people!jfc that was a lot but really fun lol

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mechanintendomaster · 6 years

Text

Unused Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever 14

Unused Mario and Bowser 14

Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever

Night of the restless Mario characters (Chapter 14)

Originally Created: 4/5/17 -4/8

Disclaimer: Mario and co. Belong to NIIIIINNNNTTTEEENNNDDOOO (Woohoo!)

Author note: Can events ever stop happening all in one day? Well they will after this chapter. The main part of this was written in one day, rest was editing and etc. etc. you get the point. ^_^

Author note: Chapter 14 as it was originally written. The final version has a date two days later than the one here so do the math. I go over slightly in my overview for this chapter the changes I made and why I made them but now you can see exactly what I mean. I don’t think my final version is the best either, but I do think it was better than this. Enjoy.

-----

The streets of Toad Town were quiet. Shops were closed and the town's residence slept peacefully at home. The few citizens that were adventurous however tended to flock to one place, Club 64. A nice and friendly little restaurant/cafe in the day, nightclub and bar at night.

Jelectro Bond's silver Aston Mushroom pulled by. Kylie Koopa's face was practically glued to the window, she could hardly contain her excitement. Bond pulled into the crowded parking space. Kylie even recognized a few license plates of past trouble makers she'd had encounters with on the job. A B Dasher kart that belonged to a venomous Pokey she'd exposed for conspiracy to gameover? A Barrel Train that belonged to a mentally unstable Shy Guy who was convinced his life was a video game? A Power Flower kart that belonged to a con-artist Princess Daisy impersonator? Someone's oversized Koopa King kart that seemed strangely familiar?

"Is everything okay?" Bond asked, cutting off the ignition.

"Uh, sure..." she replied.

"Do not worry. This is safe, despite the occasional seedy customer."

Kylie was impressed, he'd noticed the cars too? "Well this sure is a different place at night! "Shame I'm not dressed for the special occasion!"

"You are stunning as you are, mon ami. Take my hand." Bond gave her his hand. Kylie's heart raced. She's never thought she'd meet a true gentleman in a two in a half foot Noki! She gladly took it and they walked from the parking lot hand in hand. Booming bass could be heard through the walls. The neon lights, including a now vintage Nintendo 64 sign, were displayed in the glass window, which had its shutters down to block any view inside. Despite the uncharacteristically rowdy aura that surrounded the club at this hour, this was still the relatively safe Toad Town, so they went inside with no harassment from bouncers or security.

Suddenly an unmarked white van screeched to a stop straight in front of the door.

"Think they'll let us park here?"

The rest of the MKDCU agents groaned at Jimmy. His past attempts at illegally parking too close to buildings to save a walk (though he always argued it was for everyone's benefit) always turned out badly.

"You imbecile, haven't you learned anything? We just got towed for this today!" Dick snapped.

"Just get out, Richard. Wiggs, you too!"

"Whata 'bout us?" Parabilly asked.

"You and Sebastian get to stay and watch Toad and Daisy! We gots to get them at the Toadley Clinic in another hour, or we will loose our commission. By the way, they are awfully quiet now…"

"Patients have went into a unconscious state. Do we exit now or later?" Wiggs asked.

"Now! Are...are those flashing blue lights back there? Uh oh!"

Dick and Wiggletron were pushed out of the van forcibly. The van sped towards the parking lot right as a Mushroom Police car passed by.

"Gotta love Jimmy, eh?" Dick said sarcastically.

Meanwhile at Peach's Castle

"Oh Mario! I'm so glad you're here," Princess Peach exclaimed the moment Mario entered the room. Toadette came in as well, holding his hand.

"I'll uh...leave you guys alone now," Toadette said ackwardly. She slowly backed up and closed the door.

"I'm so sorry Princess," Mario apologized, looking towards the ground.

"It's Peach, remember? But anyway, what happened??" Peach asked impatiently.

"Daisy and Toad are still in the 'care' or should I say, clutches of the MKD-whatever.." Peach gasped and instinctively clutched her hands together. Mario told her about the crazy events that happened at the hospital. Peach was on the edge of her seat.

"This is terrible! But Mario, that part isn't your fault!"

"I know, but everything else is...I'm sorry that I've been so wrapped up trying to be Bowser's friend that I've pushed you all away. I'm sorry that I've came up with plans without you guys. I'm sorry that I've broken my promises. And I'm sorry to.....Luigi!" Mario suddenly remembered something. "Princess, I mean Peach, I have to get home."

"Fine Mario. But...at least tell me something first." Peach got from her seat up to approach Mario. "Is it real?"

Mario scratched his head, "Is what real?"

"You and Bowser?" Mario continued to look confused.

"Umm. Yes? Why, Prin- Peach?"

"I don't know. Just...are you sure Bowser can be trusted?" Mario was silent for a moment.

"Yes," Mario said determinedly, "Bowser isn't the nicest guy in the world, but he knows to not cross the line. Bowser has never tried to hurt us outside of our games has he?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Listen Mario, I believe and trust you, but you can't expect everyone else to. If this information spreads…"

"I know, I know. People will always judge others, but you can't please everyone either. The only thing you can really worry about is making things right with your friends and family, that's why I have to get home to my brother. I'll talk to you tomorrow, Princess. Good night." Mario turned away.

"It's Peach!" Peach called out, "And one more thing!" Mario turned around. "Where do you think those agent people are taking Daisy and Toad?"

Mario shrugged. "I'd check out the Toadley Clinic tomorrow for a start. Hopefully though, we can plan something out tomorrow. Together, I mean!"

Peach smiled until she thought of something. "Yes, it would be nice to have some team work for once, but what about Bowser?"

"Oh about that...We can always meet outside somewhere to not scare anyone. Either way, we'll think of something. I won't even bother to call him tonight. He has enough worries with the kind of people that live at his castle!" Mario and Peach laughed.

"Okay Mario, so long," Peach said, giving Mario a hug.

"So long...Peach."

As Mario left, Peach felt a lot better about the whole situation. Yes, despite the dire circumstances she knew Mario could accomplish anything with the help of others.

Club 64

The Dance music was loud, dancers danced (or stumbled around) on the dance floor, and the more subdued customers sat at the tables, eating and drinking.

Emery sat that the bar, watching the late night Japanese game shows on the TV screens. She sipped on her Strange Fruit Juice. After work, she had sped to there in her prized (and unpopular among her peers) Koopa King Kart. Across the room, she spotted someone she could swear she'd seen before. A sunglasses wearing Noki? Also, was that her friend Kylie Koopa? She watched them seat themselves towards the back and order something.

Feeling brave and curious, Emery got up to set down in an empty bench directly behind them, carefully escaping their notice. Since when did Kylie have a boyfriend? They were definitely into each other, holding hands and what not! Wasn't she married to the job, like she insisted when Emery had tried to hook her up with a cute Doctor she knew? No matter, Emery would finally get to snoop on the master snooper!

Dick and Wiggletron entered the club and went straight for the bar.

"Hmm. Wonder what they serve at night like this? I've never been the clubbing type," Dick yelled over the music.

"I just want a cup of ice actually," Wiggletron said wearily.

"What's with you?" Dick asked genuinely.

"I am not well. I did not want James to know of my condition."

"Why not?!? He is not really really our boss."

"Correct. We must however communicate respectfully to him regardless."

"Well aren't you an sweet angel? I'll call the fool out any time."

"Yes," Wiggs said mischievously, "But look at where you are now!"

Dick looked back in annoyance and confusion. "Wiggs, what is with you? Seriously!"

Wiggs pointed. "I will be honest with you. You are my friend, correct?"

"Uh...sure...You ARE the only person in the world I don't hate right now.."

"Do you wonder why James tolerates your rambunctious and unpleasant attitude?"

"Because he'd better??" Dick huffed.

"Because he's going to fire you when when we drop off our patients. He will do so before the commission as a final 'screw you' so to speak. He explained this to us all before we picked you up for the mission." As Wiggs explained this typical monotone, Dick's eyes were popping out of his head in anger.

"WHAT?!" He screamed, louder than the dance music. Everyone nearby stared at the Mega Goomba and Wiggler like they were freaks. Wiggs continued.

"It was the plan all along, Richard. He wanted to work with you no longer. He hates you actually, as does the rest. Please calm down."

"That mouser!! I knew he was taking my insults a little too well. He just couldn't wait to get rid of me! And the rest agreed? I knew they were idiots but...hey! Did YOU agree???"

Wiggs chuckled slightly. "Of course not! You know I have affection for you."

"Oh, okay. Wait what???"

"What would you two like?" the morbidly polite bartender, who had been listening to the whole asked.

"Ice only," Wiggs said.

"The strongest thing you got!" Dick ordered." I'm as good and fired and I needed this money! Why did we ever let Jimmy handle the commissions?? What am I gonna do??"

The bartender sat down a cup of ice and some Root Beer. Dick chugged the whole root beer and Wiggs looked on amusingly.

"Let me join you," Wiggs said vaguely.

"*hic* Join WHAT?"

"I knew the Morse code from the BooTracker you suddenly acquired. Your secret is safe with me. By the way, James is here."

Jimmy M. walked up to the agents in his usual pompous way.

"What are you twos havin? What?" Jimmy noticed Dick's hateful look. "What's gotten into you?"

Dick breathed deeply, as if holding himself back from doing something. "I quit," he said simply.

Jimmy gasped. "What? Why?"

"Besides...I found a better agency! Yeah!"

Jimmy gave him strange look. "Better than the MKDCU?"

"Yes. Why do we call ourselves that way? None of us are even from the Mushroom Kingdom."

"I'm...telling boss bout this!" Jimmy shot back in a slightly whiny way.

"Tell him. Tell your rich Mole Mafia daddy! And tell him that you were gonna fire me anyway!"

"What?!?"

"I told him." Wiggletron admitted.

Jimmy crossed his arms. "Both of you twos are fired then! Yeah, who's boss now?"

Wiggletron sat continently, as if he expected this. Dick got up from his seat and approached Jimmy, towering over the Monty Mole. "You'll never be the boss of anything, you coward. You care more about following arbitrary protocols then getting work done. Do you even know what's going on right under your furry little nose?"

"Back off you! You think that I? Ugh, whatever! You twos planned this didn't ya? Enjoy your adventure together!" Jimmy turned around. "MKDCU, out!" He announced to himself as he scurried out of the door.

"HAHAHA...wait. Did he just say that??? And you're fired too now?"

"It appears so. So unfortunate. I could have really used that five dollars."

"FIVE DOLLARS??? That was our commission money? I earned more money scrubbing pipes during the summer. What a waste!"

"Who is your agency now?" Wiggs suddenly asked.

"Hm. Well I guess it's now this Bond pipsqueak and annoying reporter girl. In fact, I think I see them in the back. You should join me and we can maybe get some money out of them for helping them out."

"You would like my assistance?"

"Well what else are you going to do? You still live with your parents back on Yoshi's Island, right? Besides, I don't hate ya, like I said before. Pals?"

Wiggs responded by unexpectedly patting him on the back. This knocked to the breath out of Dick slightly.

"Sorry. What information do they possess?"

Dick quickly explained Bond and Kylie's hypothesis to Wiggs. He suddenly sat up and grabbed his cup of ice. "Let us go."

At the Mario bros. House

"Got you!" Luigi said excitingly to Boo.

"Have mercy, Weegee. It's not like I have fingers!" Boo and Luigi were playing Smash Bros 4 on the WiiU. Mario entered, surprised at the house. Candy wrappers and soda cans were on the floor and games were strolled everyone. Boo and Luigi were on the floor playing video games.

"Hello Luigi..and Boo?" Mario greeted.

"Hey bro!" Luigi perked up, giving him a hug. "Sorry I got carried away this late at night. Wow! 1 a.m already?" The younger brother looked around embarrassingly.

"Er, it's okay Luigi. You seem happy tonight!"

"Because he's beat me every time in Smash Bros," Boo said. "I have the species disadvantage here!"

Luigi pretended to be annoyed. "Yeah but you can do all sorts of cool stuff we can't. I think that makes up for not having fingers!"

"I'd better go. As much as I love nighttime, I know it's important for you humans to sleep," Boo said, heading for the door.

Luigi yawned. "Yeah I guess so. Talk to you later, Boo. You can call me on my own cell phone by the way."

Luigi winked and Boo did so back. Mario was confused at this, but let it go. This wasn't the atmosphere he thought he'd come home to so he wasn't going to complain. Still, he had to get something off of his chest.

As soon as Boo left, he turned to Luigi. "Bro. I have to apologize...again. I-"

"I know. You got so wrapped up in trying to be a fair and good friend to Bowser that you forgot about us for a moment. You promise to keep your promises from now on and not be a 'tuna head' so much." Luigi said matter of factly.

"Umm...Yeah. That's exactly what I was going to say. Wait, you guys think I'm a 'tuna head'?"

"Yeah sometimes you are, but it's okay bro. I know you area only human. It was about time Mr. Perfect screwed up."

"Who's that?" Mario asked.

"You?"

"Oh? People really see me as that way?"

Luigi looked at Mario funny, but then realized that he was genuinely surprised. "Of course they do! You aren't just the hero, you are their savior, local celebrity, leader...well you get the point."

Mario sighed. "You know, I love to help everyone, but that can come with a lot of pressure too. It's a lot to manage at times..." Mario then explained the day's earlier events to him. Luigi went pale at the mention of Toad and Daisy's attack. "And so you see, I just got so carried away in the situation. But it WILL change now. We will all meet up tomorrow and discuss how we should do things together."

"Discuss what? Isn't this out of our hands, now?"

"It's whatever you want to discuss."

"Huh?"

"You are the leader now!" Mario explained warmly.

"Me??"

"Yes. All I've done is mess up. I am a tuna head I suppose. You are just as passionate about our friends and you have patience and delicacy that this situation needs. My biggest mistake was to think that we needed brawn to handle this but look at where we are now! I know you can do this, bro. I believe in you." Mario put his hand on Luigi's shoulder.

"But...what will everyone?-"

"They will accept you as the leader for now, I'll make sure of it. Now we'd better settle down if we want to be any good for tomorrow. This mess can be cleaned later." Mario went into the washroom as Luigi stood speechless.

He was prepared to forgive Mario and be content with that but not for Mario to elect him leader of their little mission. Where to start? Would this mean that Mario would take orders from him now? What about Bowser and the rest? Luigi didn't know what was happening, but he was eager to find out how this would turn out.

At Peach's Castle

After leaving Mario and the Princess, Toadette got ready to head home. Since this was school season, she was staying on campus at Mushroom College instead of the castle. There was one thing, she hadn't seen Buckenberry since her arrival! She checked his post inside the castle but he wasn't there. She asked other staff but they hadn't seen him either. She knew something was wrong, Buckenberry only disappeared like this when he was in one of his "moods". And by disappear, she meant he went to set on the lake shore to brood. Sure enough, she spotted him outside staring into his reflection in the water.

"There you are! What's up?" Toadette greeted.

Buckenberry jumped. "Toadette?"

"Um, who else? Anyway, why are you upset now? There hasn't been a New Super Mario Bros game in forever, you know. Get over it!" she teased.

Buckenberry continued to look in the water. "Do you know something?"

"What?" Toadette sat beside him.

"It's about Toad Toadstool."

Toadette shifted uncomfortably. When she and Toad went out, Buckenberry rarely if ever interacted with them. After their breakup though, Buckenberry randomly asked Toadette out and she said yes for the fun of it.

They hit it off to her surprise. He was less bombastic for starters and Toadette appreciated being with someone who wasn't a celebrity. She also liked how Buckenberry was kind of mysterious. He showed up out of nowhere as castle employee, and then immediately volunteered to help the Mario bros. on a dangerous mission. He was brave, educated, and hardworking, but he had one problem.…

"What about him? He's in horrible shape! Haven't you heard about them being taken by some special agents?"

"I know that!" Buckenberry snapped. Toadette frowned.

"Well excuse me! I sort of care when people I know and love are sick!"

"Do some of those people talk to Larry Koopa on Facebook?! Everyone's favorite castle advisor! The guy that hangs around our dear Princess everyday!"

Toadette's stomach turned as Peach's revelation about Mario and Bowser came to mind. "Umm. He does?"

"Yes! I can't believe it. I told Mr. Toadsworth and he didn't want to do anything about it."

"Well, what do you want him to do?"

"Throw the rotten fungus out of the castle! He talks to Koopalings!"

"And what exactly is wrong about that, huh?!" She asked defensively.

"What's wrong with that? Bowser and his associates are our enemies! Do I need to explain this?"

"Maybe so, but they might not be that bad in real life. There's forces out there more evil than Bowser, you know!"

"Are you defending him?!?" They were now screaming at each other, attracting curious looks from the night gardeners.

"Lots of people may converse with the Koopa Klan occasionally. It doesn't mean it's wrong or evil. Heck, even your idol Mario talks to Bowser!!!" Toadette immediately covered her mouth. Buckenberry's eyes went wide in shock. "Listen, you can't tell anyone I said that! Everyone will freak-they won't understand! Please!"

Her boyfriend then did something unexpected. He broke down and started to cry! Buckenberry, affectionately nicknamed "Cool Blue" by Mario for his stoic and cold demeanor, was cried hysterically.

"I'm...so sorry..." he sobbed, "I just get so jealous sometimes! I can't help it. No matter what I do, it's never good enough!"

Toadette put her arm around him. "Tell me! What do you mean?"

"He gets the credit for everything! I did my very best, risking my life in a way hardly any Toad has ever and I get nothing! Why can't I be the hero for once???"

Toadette shook her head. "What does it matter?? Toad works very hard here. Haven't you seen how things are running with him gone? No one is organized, dust is piling up, and everyone in despair. Would you really be selfish enough to want him gone, because YOU don't like his friends?"

Buckenberry stood silently as he wiped away his tears. Toadette took a deep breath and blurted out, "You know what? I talk to a Bowser minion too! Wendy O. Koopa and I share beauty tips on Instagram sometimes. It's no big deal, we don't talk much but still. I guess that makes me a hypocrite too for judging Mario at first.."

"Y-you did?" he stammered.

"Yeah, I did. I was just sure Bowser must have some evil motives behind it, but the Princess seemed to really believe in Mario. We both know that the Princess has the purest heart in all of the kingdom so she can believe in that a friendship like that can be real, I do to! Think about it. We both love the Princess right?"

"Yes. I would die for the Princess! Why would you ask me that?" Buckenberry asked pointedly.

"Because we need to band together instead of tearing each other apart. It's not about getting a statue made or New-Mushroom Peace Prize, it's doing what's right. THAT'S how you can do a real service…"

They stood for a moment, then Toadette spoke up. "Well I'm going to the dorms. You take care of yourself, okay?" She left, leaving Buckenberry alone at the lake shore.

Club 64

"Wow oh wow! This place is smoking!" Kylie exclaimed. Bond smiled in response. She took another bite of her Koopasta. Since they were in the back, the music was less loud and the place more subdued in general. They talked and ate, though Bond was unusually quiet. But in a hot way! Dick and Wiggletron approached the table to Kylie's surprise.

"Richard! I was wondering when you'd join us," Bond greeted cordially, "And I see Agent Wiggletron Berry of Yoshi's Island is accompanying you. I'm so glad you both knew Morse code."

"Greetings to you, Jelectro Bond," Wiggs said. His voice was flat as ever but he smiled genuinely enough to make Kylie feel at ease with the tall stranger.

Dick didn't bother with a greeting. "We ain't stupid, you know. Now don't give me trouble, I just got fired. Wiggs too!"

Bonds eyebrow raised. "Hm? That is unfortunate! Sit, will you? And tell us what is new."

"Sure shorty!" Dick sat next to Bond, accidentally squishing him against the wall, and then recited the earlier events involving Toad and Daisy, including the fact that Mario and Bowser were there. Kylie pushed her plate aside and wrote the details in her notebook, somehow keeping up with Dick's mildly incoherent and rambly recount.

"What IS the MKDCU exactly? How'd you get into this bucket of Cheep Cheeps?" Kylie asked, too excited to notice that Bond had disappeared.

"I can answer your inquiry," Wiggs said. "We were formally the MKDCU. Independent heath experts that band together in times of crisis for a commission fee. We work according to strict protocols and our exact skills vary. We come from all over and we are the best agents in our lands. Someone from MK hospital called us in, but I am uncertain as to why. James may have that information."

Kylie studiously recorded this info in her notebook too, then her pen died. "Dang, my special glittery pen!"

"Take this," Bond said, handing her a silver expensive looking fountain pen.

"Where were you just now?"

"Being suffocated to death. Richard, please continue."

"Yeah, so as I was saying, 'James' is Jimmy M., the lazy Monty Mole. He was kind of our leader, but really he's just the son of the actual boss. Ya know, dirty sneaks from Donut Plains. What does the have to do with stopping Bowser anyway?!? Hey, where is Bond now?"

"Over here. Where were they taking Mario's friends?" Bond had crawled under the table to Kylie and Wiggletron's side and sat in between the two. Kylie had never been this close to Bond before and was distracted by his cologne. Wow, it smelled expensive!

"It's Demented by Dimentio," Wiggs whispered to her. Kylie game him a weird look.

"How do you keep disappearing? Anyway, the Toadley Clinic," Dick answered. "Then once there was a diagnosis, some special hospital in Special World. Why?"

"Oh this is not good..." Bond said disappointedly.

On the row behind them, Emery couldn't believe what she'd heard. Toadley Clinic? She'd volunteered there and the place was cray cray. They only dealt with the worse of the worse, first of all. Secondly, if Mario's friends were going there, they might get sent off to they maximum severity hospital in Special World. Legend says, patients never leave! She have to do something now! She peeked over the bench seat.

"Emery??" Kylie called out. "Guys, this is my friend. She works at the hospital and she's a crafty one to!"

"I am disappointed in my self," Bond admitted, "You were snooping in on us and I only noticed now.

Someone's wonderful smile must have distracted me!" Kylie flushed.

"Thank you," Wiggs said, grinning.

"I meant...never mind. You are Emery Toadstool of MK East, right?"

"Yes! And...uh I can- I mean...What were y'all talking about?" Emery had been listening at first, but after a moment she had gotten bored spent most of the time playing on her phone . She only had perked up again when she had heard Toadley Clinic being mentioned.

"Emery, do you want to do your country a service?" Bond asked with sudden seriousness.

Emery shrugged. "Sure?"

"Country? Isn't this about Mario?" Dick asked.

Bond dodged the question. "If what I think is about to happen happens, we might have big trouble tomorrow, mes amies…"

"I'm not gettin it, Bond. What do you know that we don't?" Kylie asked with some impatience. Bond motioned for everyone to get up. He lead them to the back stage kind of area where bands would play. At this time it was empty, save a giant fish tank filled with exotic and colorful Cheep Cheeps.

"Everything is as is confidential from this point onward, understood?"

Everyone nodded. Wiggs raised his hand. "Does this mean you consider me to be an assistant in your operation?"

"Of course?" Bond replied curiously.

"Thank you!! It means so much to be accepted by a wonderful Noki such as yourself!" Wiggs affectionately patted Bond on the back, which sent the Noki flying into the fish tank. Water splashed on the floor and Dick laughed hysterically as Wiggs and Kylie frantically ran to his aid. Emery only rolled her eyes unimpressively. This was the least weird thing that had happened all day. No one in the club seemed to notice the commotion either.

Once he was (fished) out, he immediately continued, "These are the facts: Toad and Daisy's coma walking proves that is is Mushroom Flu; we know this had to have originated from Bowser, specifically his castle laboratory; we know they would have had to have been deliberately targeted; we know that all other cases of the T-virus are less severe for an unknown reason; we know Bowser, or someone in his household would have a motive; we do not know how this was introduced. And worse still, all of the has occurred in one day."

Everyone was silent as if taking his statements in. Or maybe cause Bond was soaking wet, his sunglasses were crooked and he and acted as if he wasn't just smacked like Daisy smacked Bowser in Mario Party 3. Wiggs raised his hand.

"Umm, yes?" Bond asked hesitantly.

"You said that Bowser or someone in his household would have a motive, correct? Why would Bowser work with Mario to interfere with the MKDCU? Would he not want Mario's friends taken away?"

"I was getting to that. Yes, my secondary points. These are not yet clear in my head: who exactly called the MKDCU? It is clear that them coming was part of the plan. I would not at all imply that the MKDCU themselves are in on it, but it is obvious now that it was meant to be. Because of the complications that arose from that, Toad and Daisy are now ultimately inaccessible and are in danger of being permanently that way. How does the crazed Koopa Doctor and Nurse Nass T. come into play? Surely they didn't call-"

"Nass T?? My mom??" Emery blurted out.

"Oh yeah! She is your mom. I forget that," Kylie said. "Are you saying she's involved, Bond?"

"Yes. And I say that without a doubt. That is why I ask again, are you willing to fully cooperate?" Bond looked expectantly to Emery.

Emery thought for a moment. Her mom didn't have the best reputation and their family was in debt. If some kind of reward was involved in all of this, she would have to admit that her mom getting involved in the conspiracy was exactly what she'd do.

As if Bond could read her mind, he added, "Listen mon ami, I also know for certain tat she isn't at the head of this. I just want you to find out about all of the circumstances of the victims tomorrow at work. You don't have to turn anyone in or mention anything to anyone else. Here." He handed her a soaking wet BooTracker. "Its water proof, don't worry. Just let me know what you find, okay?"

Emery slowly nodded. She could do that at least, right? And now all of this serious business was making her tired. Emery swept back her black hair. "I'm gonna go, guys," she said.

"Very well. Au revoir!" Bond said, his genially somewhat forced now.

"Stay safe," Kylie said, feeling uneasy about the whole situation again. Wiggs waved. After she left Bond signaled their attention.

"As for the rest of us, well. We will put our infiltration plan on hold." Bond said, seeming mildly spaced out.

"What??"

"Because of this. When the official word of Mushroom Flu gets out tomorrow morning, all Underwhere will break loose. I just can't say what our next move should be.."

"We can tell Mario at least?" Kylie said.

"He will find out."

"How do you know so much??" Dick asked, annoyed of Bond's vagueness.

Bond suddenly slipped past them, away from the back area. He threw some coins on their table for a tip, not bothering to count. "So long gentlemen. We will talk more tomorrow. Let's get you home, Kylie."

"Huh?" Kylie questioned but followed. She grabbed his still soaking wet arm and they left in a hurry.

"That Bond is..!"

"Sauve. Mysterious. Slightly omniscient. A perpetual sunglasses wearer. Handsome?" Wiggs answered. Dick looked at him funny.

"Okay...How dare they bail on us? We don't have a ride...or a place to sleep tonight! Hey...we didn't even discuss our commission!"

Wiggs looked to him and smiled. "Regardless I am extremely glad to be part of his operation. I even forgot about my headache! As for a place to reside, I have provisions for that!"

"Huh?"

"My friend, T. Yoshisaur Muchakoopa lives near here. I am surprised he did not recognize me earlier."

"You mean Yoshi? I know what you and that Bond guy have in common. Y'all are too dang formal!"

Wiggs laughed loudly though no one was joking. "Affirmative, friend!" Wiggs put his hand on Dick's back, but thankfully no one flew anywhere this time.

Later

"What was that about, Bond??" Kylie finally asked as Bond pulled up to her apartment. She lived in a meager complex off of Pleasant Path. Since this was somewhat rural, there were no street lights aside from the high beams of Bond's Aston Mushroom. "We were out of there quicker than a Speedy Comet!"

"You can call me Jelectro. And I didn't want them to know." Bond said apprehensively.

"But why? How do you know so much? Are you that good of a spy?"

Bond seemed disturbed about something. "Don't share this info with others, mon ami, but…"

"What?" Kylie was finally starting to feel creeped out.

"Not all of my spy skills are spy skills. You see, have premonitions," he said simply, "I always have. Sometimes it does not work if I am distracted or caught off guard, as you saw before."

In Kylie's mind, he might as well have told her that he was Santa Claus. His exotic charm on her had worn off. What was he, part Magikoopa? "Oookay. And so you just 'know' something is going to go down tomorrow?"

"Yes. It hit me while we were setting down, what I saw...was bad... What is wrong, mon ami, what are you-?"

Kylie jumped out of the his car, leaving the door open. "I didn't become a reporter and journalist to deal with tomfoolery. What is this? Boo Hunters? How did you really get this info? How did you even know where I lived?"

"I just knew. You have to listen!"

"So you ain't really a spy, just a Magikoopa like freak? You aren't really from Spy Land are you?" she asked accusingly.

"Yes I am! I trained at the Super Spy Headquarters and everything. It's just that, as long as I remember, I have had dreams and visions and..I am adopted you know!" Bond blurted out.

Kylie shook her head and shut the door. She walked to her apartment without looking back.

To be continued.

#boomaster-amia #fanfiction #Mario and bowser #beta #unused content

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