#I now have feelings for gender Columbo

[shapelytimber]

Ok there is no way to present what I did for my final exam in a coherent or sane way.... I drew gender Columbo having a divorce with a typewritter.

For my defence, every text we were given sucked ass so I just twisted one of the less sexist ones beyond recognition. And it involved butch Columbo and a typewritter lady yes (btw Dialtown is a fun game you should check it out and yes this design is very inspired by this game). I will not post everything I did, only the best parts :)

And the final comic I did in record Time lggkgkkvglkjji

Pardon my french, but I'm not rewriting all this by hand so here is the traduction : [Title : literally "beautiful talker" it means a charming liar, someone who talks a lot of shit with a lot of charisma] "Tell me the truth." "Pierre." "Answer me" "Answer me" (repeating a lot)

I just want to note that not a single positive emotion was involved in the creative process. We had to work on this for 9 hour a day without break, without being able to leave the room, in shrimp mode because the stools were too high for the tables. We had two days (16 fucking hours) of this torture and never in my life am I doing this again (at least not on these fucking stools). My back hurt, my ass hurt, my knees hurt, my fingies hurt.

So considering all this shit, this turned out not so bad

[duckprintspress]

Created Works Round-Up: April 2024

Duck Prints Press’s monthly “created works round-ups” are our opportunity to spotlight some of the amazing work that people working with us have done that ISN’T linked to their work with Duck Prints Press. We include fanworks, outside publications, and anything else that creators feel like sharing with y’all. Inclusion is voluntary and includes anything that they decided “hey, I want to put this on the created work’s round-up!”

Check out what they’ve shared with us this month…

-

Art for Mosaic Haiku, Chapter One by EliotQueliot / @eliotqueliot

art || the magicians (tv) || m/m || quentin coldwater/eliot waugh || general audiences || creator choses not to use warnings || complete

summary: I'm painting watercolor sketches of key scenes in the lifetime that Eliot and Quentin spend together at the Mosaic in The Magicians Season 3, Episode 5, "A Life in the Day" (and relevant scenes that touch on this from other episodes). Part of my purpose here is to give us these important moments in full color, with good lighting and the ability to see their faces and body language clearly. I'm also just aiming to celebrate the vibrancy of their lives together. These are designed to accompany my haiku in my haiga project, "Mosaic Haiku." The original photos with the haiku are now posted on Tumblr (links to each from the AO3 chapter), while I'm slowly adding my watercolor versions to all the chapters on AO3. The art for Chapter 1 of Mosaic Haiku is now complete, with three watercolors (and the original sketch for one of the watercolors).

AO3

-

Secret Lives, Chapter Eight: Eliot by EliotQueliot / @eliotqueliot

fiction || the magicians (tv) || m/m || quentin coldwater/eliot waugh || mature || creator choses not to use warnings || 3,547 || work in progress

summary: Eliot cares for Quentin while he recuperates from the hedge witch battle. To avoid the dean's restrictions, they decide to collaborate on one of Eliot's ghost rescue missions. (This chapter's short and mostly fluffy!)

TUMBLR - AO3

-

Every After by MindfulWrath / @mindfulwrath

fiction || kingdom hearts 2 || m/m || axel/roxas || mature || graphic depictions of violence, major character death, rape/non-con, underage || 139,484 || complete

summary: If it always starts the same way, how could the ending ever change?

other tags: Alternate Universe, Disney Multiverse, Angst and Tragedy, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Eye Trauma, Transphobia, Internalized Homophobia, Suicidal Thoughts

AO3

-

...& the Future by Rascal Hartley / @crack--attack

fiction || damar series - robin mckinley, the hero and the crown - robin mckinley || poly (multiple genders) || aerin/luthe/tor || mature || no major warnings apply || 11,270 || complete

summary: She thinks often of Luthe as Tor and her father recover, and as she herself regains her strength; she thinks of him in his lonely castle, his blonde curls, his eyes under the glistening moon. He does feel like a dream, but a good one, as if she might close her eyes just so and re-enter it at will. As it is, she holds Tor's hand at his bedside and waits.

(Alternate ending to _The Hero and the Crown_ where Arlbeth survives, Talat stays with Aerin, and everything is a bit more queer)

other tags: Canon divergent, getting together, homoerotic swordfighting, enemies to lovers speedrun, minor peril

AO3

-

The Recondite by S. J. Ralston

fiction || original work || no ships || teen & up || graphic depictions of violence || 7,029 || complete

summary: Something wretched is stirring in the Third Ward of Houston. Fisher, self-proclaimed Columbo of Los Espookies, aims to find out what it is before it finishes waking up.

other tags: Urban Fantasy, Queerphobia, Racism, Body Horror

LINK

-

Heat transfer by Smehur / @smehur

art || baldur's gate 3 || m/m || astarion/tav || mature || no major warnings apply || complete

summary: When a healthy, living man holds an ancient vampire

TUMBLR

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On Books and Reading by Smehur / @smehur

fiction || baldur's gate 3 || m/m || astarion/tav || teen & up || no major warnings apply || 2,495 || ongoing series

summary: Panic roils underneath Tav’s outward calm. What to do? If he outright refuses to give Astarion the cursed book, the nascent bond between them will snap. He doesn’t want that. But what Astarion asks is irrational, and to agree with it would be irrational too. Worse still, it would set a dangerous precedent. He’ll know exactly how to manipulate Tav the next time some whim takes hold of him.

other tags: Slow Burn, Disabled Character, Male Tav

AO3

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Once Upon a Future Time: Saverre's Seven Ravens by Terra P. Waters / @terrapwaters

fiction || original work || platonic or familial || general audiences || no major warnings apply || 10k || complete

summary: When Saverre finds out she had seven older brothers who were kidnapped by the government and turned into cybernetic warriors called Ravens, she goes on a quest to save them and bring them home. A sci-fi retelling of the Grimm's Fairy Tale, "The Seven Ravens."

other tags: space stations, space ships, vent crawling, family drama, body modification, cybernetics, confidence games

LINK

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Creativity for the Love of It, Part 2: Fanworks by Max Jason Peterson / @eliotqueliot

meta || original work || no ships || general audiences || no major warnings apply || 1,772 || complete

summary: An essay about some of the reasons fanworks are wonderful, from the point of view of a fanworks creator (in the universe of Lev Grossman's series, The Magicians) who also makes original fiction/poetry/art. Includes kudos for Lev Grossman as a friend of fanworks.

LINK

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Whimsical Life by May Barros / @mayarab

ttrpg || original work || no ships || general audiences || no major warnings apply || complete

summary: A slice-of-life rpg about magical beings doing odd jobs to a non-magical community and growing in power and knowledge.

They sell their services, study their craft, deal with magical shenanigans and interact with the community.

TUMBLR - LINK

​Why not take a moment and check out the awesome stuff folks have made? It'll be worth your time!

[spel16]

Hi!

I’m looks for mutuals :D

Figured it probably won’t happen unless I ask

Some stuff about me:

-17 yr old game design student (I’m a an odd place where I’m still definitely a kid, but I’m in uni so I’m also an adult? I don’t really care about age when making friends!)

-aro/ace and don’t know about gender yet (though I seriously doubt I’m cis, given how much thought I put into it on a daily basis)

Some of my current interests are:

-video games! (Balatro has taken all my free time)

-video game development! (If you’re making a game I’d love to give you feedback!)

-anime (the list is long but at the top you’ve got stuff like frieren, bocci the rock, one piece and Hunter x Hunter, a bit of everything as long as it’s fun!)

-shows (currently watching Leverage and I’ll always love Columbo, even did a cosplay of the guy!)

-pixel art! (I’m planning to make a side log for it though I’m still a bit scared to share anything ;w;)

-and anything that interests the person I’m talking to! I love to listen to people talk about their special interests! (One time I listened to someone talk about boats for multiple hours long straight, normally I don’t care about boats that much, but if it’s coming from someone who cares about it I can’t help but lend an ear!) so feel free to message me about any special interest you got, I’d love to lend an ear!

-And if you feel even the slightest temptation to do so right now don’t hesitate do it! My dms and ask boxk are open! And I’ll never get annoyed over getting a message!

That’s about it, thanks for reading and I hope you have a lovely day :3

[madrabbitsociety]

08/25/2024 Pinned Note Update

Hello! For anyone looking for fic updates or novel updates, here you go.

I enjoyed being in a play so much I accidentally fell into another one right after the last one closed. I'm currently playing Detective Maggie Pelletier in Red Herring at the Gaithersburg Arts Barn. I know! A femme part! But Maggie is an actor's dream as far as characters go- she's complicated and in love but also holding back for her own reasons. It's a fun espionage/murder mystery/love story set in the fifties. We're also doing this Trompe L'oeil style cotume/set thing so we look like comic book characters... which also means I am not only a lead but also doing costumes. I have been too busy to even return texts at this point because when I'm not at rehearsal, I'm sewing my fingers off.

I will hopefully be posting costume sneak peaks and DIYs to my YouTube shorts so you can see what we end up with.

Anyway, for readers of my fanfic (Man! I Feel Like a Human), I have CHANGED MY USERNAME to be more gender-friendly. Seeing a very gendered name every time I log into AO3 was HARD so I’ve changed it to madrabbitwrites. I will say the last few story chapters I posted didn't seem to get much love so ... I'm not particularly in a rush to finish right now? But M!IFLAH is written and will eventually update when I have more time.

(TW: Illness) So my mom has a benign tumor in her pituitary gland that is causing the whole house to be in stress. Especially since she has other health complications that make me really nervous about her having surgery to remove it. It's been... too much, honestly. Now, more than ever, I also need to plan an escape from this living situation, so if you like my work please consider donating to my Ko-Fi. I'm putting all of my cash towards moving out as soon as I possibly can. As rent in my area is my entire paycheck, I don't know how soon that will be, but I'm doing my best.

My next book, A Deadly Persuasion, will hopefully be out in October or November as well. It’s a redneck bowling alley vampiric and sapphic retelling of Jane Austen’s Persuasion because I don’t have enough elements in that description. It’s turning out to be my favorite work yet, though. Even more than the Santa fucking a vampire book.

Sorry! Like Columbo, one more thing!

I’m working on the sequel to The Aquatic Equation, for real this time, and I think that means deleting The Frightful Fluid Conundrum. I might save the title for a future fic in this series, but if you like this so far, you might want to save it and make room for The Pelagic Solution.

[fallout-lou-begas]

I think you're doing God's work by shining attention on the less popular humanoid companions. I adore Cass and Raul, and it makes me sad how many people brush them off because they're hard to recruit or not #GayRep

The Cass Sweep was about my love for Cass above all else. Spite turned it into what it was as the tournament attracted the attention of people who don't even care about Fallout, but even if the tournament was run by someone with nothing but positive feelings for Cass, I still would have rallied for her the same way because it was about shining attention on her. I even had a whole thing written up for my predicted grand finals about why i think she is worth it and why she should genuinely earn her vote over (who I thought would be) Arcade and Nick Valentine. The Mean Old Cowpoke Solidarity between Cass and Raul was just icing on the cake, I was amazed that Raul beat both gay companions back to back lmao.

I have absolutely nothing against Arcade and Veronica to be clear, and we joke about the sweep being homophobic (straight's rights!), but it does make me glad that these characters who are less popular than Arcade and Veronica, partly because they're so much less immediately relatable, got such a genuinely appreciative push in those silly little polls. The discourse over Cass' sexuality only makes it more interesting, really, because then it's like "explicit gay representation" versus "has a weird gay thing going on," and where the tide is turning on what people are appreciating now.

Because there's something I've been noticing (especially in my own curated social circle but also larger out) where I feel like we're moving past and away from a fixation on representation as the ultimate metric of a media or artwork's value, or at least stances on this issue are becoming more polarized. I think of everyone around me watching Succession, The Sopranos, Columbo, Breaking Bad, Better Caul Saul, etc., basically just a lot of these shows that aren't really providing "representation" but are providing these incredibly deep, complex, and smart stories and characters that people can relate to and chew on in more ways than just sharing identities with the characters (especially since, for example, The Sopranos is VERY MUCH a show about gender and sexuality). Part of this is just because the state of representation-forward media is, like, paint-by-numbers YA novels made for BookTok first, cartoons made for literal children, agonizingly twee television shows, or mainstream movies too afraid to let their gay characters be more than two out of three of explicit, interesting, and authentic. For the really good shit you just have to find independent artists telling independent stories because the way media is made at a major and mainstream level, what kind of gay representation is allowed is still just really limited. Especially for queer representation, this has an overlap with how much explicit sexual content is allowed in media, because we are in a post-Everyone is Beautiful and No One is Horny world, and people are more wanting for fucking and sucking on screen, especially when your sexual identity is inseparable from who you want to fuck and/or suck.

This has gone waaaay off track from your original question, maybe. But to quote the prolific gay filmmaker Gregg Araki: “Just because a movie [or a book, or a TV show, or a character, etc.] is gay or independent doesn’t make it good. I’d rather go see fuckin’ Coneheads than go see most of them.”

[bijoumikhawal]

oooo you wanna listen to the CrimsonRain TGCF audiobook sooooo bad. You wanna hear about a chronically unlucky little loser (affectionate) with jock autism that keeps getting tricked into being Columbo. And is a god btw. and the head over heels ghost king who cannot separate wanting him from worshipping him and has spent 800 years trying to find him again so he can shower him with thoughtful luxuries and bite anyone who insults him in half. You want to witness their insane "hey as far as I know I just met you wanna wear vials of each other's blood and have a slumberparty" energy.

You want to see our two side show attractions: "8 centuries of hatefucking while we feel guilty for ditching our friend who enabled us to rise to our high positions in the first place" and "your brother destroyed me and everyone I love like we were ants, and getting close to you is part of my plan and I Will Not divert from my plan, but am I happy now? Now that you'll never forgive me?"

Also gender is fake in 4 different ways

[pretzelpizzapuppy]

Silly doodle of the peepaw for @sonic-oc-showdown ! plus the oc questions thing under the read more :3

Name: Ignatius

Species: Domestic Cat

Home: He travels wherever the wind takes him!

✨ How did you come up with the OC’s name?

I think I just looked up like, old people names LOL I don’t remember for sure tho.

🧑‍🦳 How old are they?

He’s in his 60s!

💞 Do they have any love interests?

Ehh not anyone specifically! Might make him a husband eventually.

🥞 What is their favorite food?

Hmmm... Probably belgian waffles with far too many toppings.

💼 What do they do for a living?

He’s a freelance detective! Sort of. He’s supposed to be retired but it’s hard to keep him in place.

🏐 Do they have any hobbies?

He loves anything to do with puzzles! Puzzle games, actual puzzles, escape rooms, murder mystery media... He also enjoys beach sports like volleyball but it’s a bit hard on his body now. He also likes to bake and mix drinks. He’s a jack of all trades honestly, he’s quite restless.

🎯 What do they do best?

Solving mysteries of course! He’s also a pretty darn good cook, if you’ll allow him to toot his own horn.

🥊 What do they love? What do they hate?

His one true love is puzzles, if it’s not clear enough yet! He also loves the beach and relaxing in the sun! He dislikes dreary weather, feels it makes him far too serious and stern! He’s also not one for stuffy museums, he’d much rather be learning from communities themselves! He’s a very knowledge focused guy but enjoys the experience of learning from enthusiastic people rather than textbooks. He really enjoys watching older shows too! MASH and ST:TOS being among his favorites. Imagine those in the Sonic universe however you please LOL

📸 What is one of your OC’s best memories?

Hmm... really, he savors the feeling of helping people! Each and every person he’s helped is slotted into his brain like a polaroid!

✂️ What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Yeesh, he’s too old to dwell on these things! If he kept track of every failed case and the homophobia and ableism he’s had tossed his way in life he’d have no time for the things he enjoys!

🏚️ Is their current design their first one?

Sure is! I tend to stick with designs once I make them. Little changes may happen here and there to make them easier for me to draw but typically, my designs stay the same! His fur pattern might be choppy or smooth depending on the amount of time I want to put into drawing it though LOL

🧠 What originally inspired this OC?

Sara was drawing Sonic OCs and I hadn’t ever really put the time into making one. So I sat down, grabbed a pelt pattern I liked, and took a LOT from Benoit Blanc from Knives Out. Someone in the tags of his poll said he’s got Columbo energy but I haven’t actually watched it so I can’t say for sure whether he carries those traits or not. My favorite color is purple so it tends to sneak into my designs. I made him about a month before the Sonic Murder Mystery game hilariously enough.

🎬 What genre do they belong in?

Mystery of course! Maybe comedy/mystery?

🏳️‍🌈 What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Gay for sure, trans maybe? I haven��t decided for sure and I don’t think he’s the type to really care too much for labels for himself. He uses He/Him mostly but won’t go out of his way to correct people.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 How many siblings does your OC have?

I haven’t really thought about it honestly. I’ll probably give him a sister. Feels right.

🧑‍🍼 What is the OC’s relations w/their parents like?

Not great. He was outed in his late teens and they. Did not react well. He already had a rough time from his undiagnosed autism and it never really got better. He’d liked to have improved things with them but he just... never really got around to it.

💜 What do you like most about the OC?

I just think he’s a silly guy :) I am pretty happy with his design too! I’m quite proud of how my skills have improved in that aspect.

🖍️ How often do you draw/write about the OC?

This is honestly the most I’ve done since making him LOL I work a full time job and my brain is more focused on Warriors atm tbh

🔪 Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

Oh absolutely not. I’m the type of guy who makes ocs for fun and to push them together like dolls! Maybe if I made him as a teen things would be different.

💀 Does your OC have any phobias?

Sort of? He’s got a lot of mental things going on about germs. Washes his hands a LOT and is very aware of just how much others don’t. Maybe snakes too since he’s a cat.

❤️‍🔥 Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

His own mind if truly his greatest enemy tbh. Turns out that constantly being on alert for clues can make you a little paranoid.

⏱️ How long have you had the OC?

According to discord, since January 17th, 2023!

[shepfax]

hey hello hi here is a pinned post

(art by me)

I'm Shepard--three-eyed cat monster, birdwatcher, and male version of that hippie at the farmers market who talks about cats and flowers in a mystified tone

27

bisexual

genderqueer intersex FtM

he, they, or no pronouns

married 💕

T: 2016 Top surgery: 2024

white

polytheist animist pagan

geography major

hobby artist ( @shepfax-art )

below the cut is more about me and this blog, plus some cool art of my Sona

last edit 13 Aug 2024

things I’m into (bold: major interest)

birds & birdwatching

animatronics

meow wolf

ghost (the band)

jerma & other streamers

paleontology

horror movies

very specific gaming (currently playing Baldur's Gate 3 and feeling very obsessed with it but I also love Ultrakill, Fallout, Mass Effect, and a bunch of random Nintendo)

very specific tv (Community, Columbo, Star Trek: TOS. I'm currently watching Star Trek: TNG)

social justice (gay liberation, trans rights, socialism, anti-cop/anti-prison, anti-racism, anti-fascism)

accessibility & neurodiversity

things to know:

feel free to spam like/reblog, it doesn't bother me :) have fun while you're here.

I'm always available to chat, answer questions, etc. just send me an ask (you can also ask for my discord to reach me faster).

I'd generally prefer not having minors follow me here because I reblog adult humor and mature content regularly, but it's not a rule. I'm always happy to answer educational questions and stuff from people of all ages. I've been out as trans since 2012 and I've acted as a mentor to younger people exploring gender identity before, and I want to make young people feel seen and heard.

if I reblog from someone shitty please let me know off anon. I have shinigami eyes on my laptop but I'm usually on mobile.

I would prefer if you didn't use tone indicators and don't ask me to use them.

I don't really have a "DNI" (list of people you don't want interacting with your blog) because they're essentially pointless after reading all the social justice stances I listed above, but if you're a zionist, a terf, a febfem, a radical inclusionist/radqueer, or transabled then you need to stay the fuck away from me

above all else, this blog is just for me to have fun and post about what I'm passionate about. there's no central theme here!

and now you can check out some pics :)

this is Mira, my beloved fursona. he’s a cat + monster + demon + reptile thing. below are some awesome pics of him courtesy of my friends!

(art by furbyfries)

(art by sturner)

(art by crunkerton)

(art by ccasino)

p.s.

and here’s more of him :3

(art by missrockyqo)

[secret-strawberry]

tagged by @palewhitehorse to do these! thank you!!

What book are you currently reading? like 3 at once that I got for Christmas but mostly The Gun Seller by Hugh Laurie. it's a comedy spy novel which doesn't sound like a genre i'd be into but so far i am enjoying myself a lot i think it's hilarious lol

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year? this has made me realize that i don't think i saw any movies in the theatre this year?? what??? well. i've been watching the Scream movies for the first time at home and i like them!

What do you usually wear? i'd say a hoodie and jeans is my go-to

How tall are you? 5'6!

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? virgo; i was born the day hurricane katrina started

Do you go by your name or a nick-name? i use L online now which my discord friends call me sometimes. yes i got it from death note but I like it as a second name because it's very gender

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child? i wouldn't say i'm completely grown up yet but no, my plans have changed quite a bit from when I wanted to be a pediatrician. i want to be a psychologist now :)

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one? nope! i had a crush on this guy a while ago after we talked for like an hour while waiting in the airport but it left once i realized i didn't actually know much about him- i think my mind constructed someone to fixate on because it was bored 💀

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at? i'm going to half-copy vi and say i'm good at editing prose/writing essays but i'm horrible at following through with projects due to losing interest/motivation </3

Dogs or cats? in theory, cats, but i've never had one so i couldn't say if i'd end up preferring that to dog ownership

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year? hmmm. i like this line from my poem "On Love that will Outlive Me" about a girl who takes on the ocean as her (metaphorical?) lover: "I suppose I was selfish in choosing you. When I'm gone, I will not feel the loss of it." But I don't really have favorite lines individually; usually what I'm most proud of is a paragraph of nice description or a piece that ties up a theme neatly. My favorite piece I did this year (technically still a WIP but) is a short story called "Someone Still Loves You" because it explores the concept of community grief.

What’s something you would like to create content for? as you can probably tell by my ao3 lol i love writing for light and L because their relationship is so weird that it's fun to explore. also, i feel comfortable with their characters because i know them well (or i like to think i do)-- so any franchise that matches those two qualifiers i would love to dive into as well (house md, for example!)

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with? sherlock holmes is my current fixation; it's not as intense as my House M.D phase but lately I've been really interested in reading all of the original stories and watching CBS' Elementary. i think i'll probably do Columbo next.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? i'm not sure, i guess my birthday? i didn't end up celebrating because it was right around the time that 2 of my close friends moved away and i had to cut off another one ,,, yikes

What’s a hidden talent of yours? not sure if this qualifies as a talent but people always seem shocked when they find out i know American Sign Language (HUGE hyperfixation during middle school, i went through 5 courses online and self-taught)

Are you religious? not anymore!

What’s something you wish to have at this moment? mm peaches (i'm playing animal crossing)

these questions were great :D i'm going to tag @ceeingstars, @bemorekleinman, @akireu-13, @mxoreo, and @random-blep if y'all feel like doing this, but no pressure!

[modmad]

hi mod sorry if this is out of nowhere. but if you remember some while ago the anon who had an epiphany about gender thru columbo? thats me and today while i was out i had someone refer to me as young man for the first time. i havent even had the chance to start medically transitioning yet so the magic of gender unlocked is just that powerful it seems. i didnt really have any further point to this i'm just very excited right now. i hope youre having a fantastic day c:

YOUNG MAN! THERE'S NO NEED TO FEEL DOWN I SAID

[forthegothicheroine]

How Other Great Detectives Would Solve the Abduction of Bunny Lebowski

A series I do sometimes. This is going to be a bit tricky since they will all have to have a way into the plot other than sharing a name with Jeffrey “The Big” Lebowski.

Philip Marlowe: A lot would be similar to the plot of the movie since The Big Lebowski is a parody of the Philip Marlowe books and films! However, there are some differences. Marlowe probably met Bunny at a party thrown by the porn guys, where he was working on another case about seedy LA business; they would instantly dislike each other, but hearing her complain about him would bring him to the attention of Jeffrey Lebowski, who would think of him as one of Bunny’s lowlife friends and a perfect patsy. He contracts Marlowe to drop off her ransom money, ostensibly so he can identify if the porn guys kidnapped her. In the meantime, Maude has contacted him and they’ve had lots of long talks about art and gender relations and he likes her in spite of himself (and decides she is of the Intellectual Redhead Category.) Marlowe checks out the ransom bag before the drop and finds it only contains phone books; he doesn’t immediately call the whole thing off because he wants to see what Lebowski’s scheme is. He attempts to actually drive down and find the kidnappers but they firebomb his car in the process. From here things go pretty similarly to the movie, although Maude would not make him the father of her child because she knows he would insist on begrudgingly marrying her.

L: L can tell from a quick review of Lebowski’s financial records exactly what happened; unfortunately, just as he is about to accuse him, he has a heart attack. Luckily, the kid L was babysitting solves it for him, even though his bicycle gets stolen and trashed while he solves it.

Sherlock Holmes: I know modern writers probably emphasize the cocaine a bit too much, but I’m going to have to do that here. The porn guys get their records wrong and think Holmes owes them big for cocaine, but he’s on top of his own financial statements and it was actually Bunny who owed them. When they destroy his rug, he feels some justice needs to be served. Very suspicious that supposed millionaire Jeffrey Lebowski won’t pay his wife’s debts, he catches on to the embezzlement plot early on, but believes Bunny and her husband are in on it together. The toe almost changes his mind, but he reflects to Watson that in a den of depravity like LA, there are ways of getting toes. When he meets Maude and she tells him all the money actually belongs to her and the foundation, the pieces fall together. (She also attempts to get him to father her child and he affably turns her down.) He gives a big smug speech to Lebowski after learning Bunny didn’t even know any of this was going on, but when he emerges he finds that the nihilists have torn apart his carriage.

Phryne Fisher: Phryne is best friends with Maude, so she hears about the kidnapping that way, with Maude complaining that she doesn’t believe her stepmother was kidnapped and this must be just a money grab. Phryne volunteers to drop off the money, and Lebowski is trapped into agreeing. She refuses to drop off the money until the kidnappers meet her, which they refuse to do so, thus giving Lebowski the excuse to accuse her of messing things up, especially after some dumb kid steals her car for a joyride and the bag with it. The car is recovered with intense damage, but Phryne can tell the kid obviously doesn’t have a fortune to be throwing around. When the porn guys hassle her about Bunny’s debts, the pieces start to fall together. She accuses Lebowski of staging his wife’s kidnapping, and informs Maude that he now must be kept on a much stricter leash. The nihilists attempt further damage on her car, but a few well-aimed shots in the air drive them off.

Columbo: Any of these guys who are actual cops instead of independent operators will be tricky, but let’s try and work with this. Columbo is a homicide detective and if the porn guys are roughing people up then they may also be killing people, right? In the course of trying to find out whether Jackie Treehorn has a side business in murderous loan-sharking, he finds that Bunny Lebowski has gone missing, and why wouldn’t her husband have gone to the police about that? He keeps needling Lebowski, especially after he meets Maude and she agrees to cooperate with the investigation since the fate of the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers is at stake, although she emphasizes that she does not believe Bunny is in any danger. She makes a half-hearted attempt to seduce him, but backs off when he tells her he’s happily married. The nihilists, not knowing that this grubby and unassuming guy is a cop, attack him with a marmot and trash his car. With enough needling, Columbo is finally able to catch and arrest Lebowski for embezzlement. He is one of the only detectives on the list to be genuinely pleased that Bunny is safe.

Poirot: This extreme ill-match came about because Poirot was invited to some kind of event involving the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, and in the process unfortunately got to know the family behind it- Maude is a decent person, but Jeffrey Lebowski is vile and Bunny propositioned him and nearly gave him a heart attack. When Bunny seems to have been kidnapped, Poirot becomes aware of this due to his powers of deduction, and also Brent may have accidentally told him. (Side note, do we think Brent was in on Lebowski’s scheme? I hope not, but he’s so closely connected it’s hard to see how he could have not known.) He agrees to drop off the ransom money, but Hastings completely accidentally tosses his dirty laundry instead. After being hassled by the porn guys and threatened with a marmot by the nihilists, Poirot calls Lebowski, porn guys and nihilists together to discuss the crime. Bunny walks back in from her vacation in the middle of this, thus pre-empting Poirot who was about to say Lebowski had never intended to pay her ransom. Maude convinces him not to go to the police and instead let her handle her father. Mercifully, she does not try to seduce him. When exiting the mansion, Poirot finds that a dumb kid has stolen his car for a joyride.

Sam Spade: Sam is one of Bunny’s- lovers? conquests? Something like that. The porn guys attack his house and ruin his rug to try and shake him down for her debts, and he goes to Lebowski to get compensated. Once he gets roped into dropping off ransom money he checks the bag and finds that it only contains phone books. Before confronting Lebowski he talks to the porn guys in an attempt to get them to bribe him, and he manages to talk Jackie Treehorn into giving him a hundred or so dollars to go away. He connects with Maude, who dislikes him but sleeps with him anyway to conceive a child (good luck to that child on Sam Spade’s genes.) He rents a car to get around LA since it has less transit than his native San Francisco, but the nihilists destroy it and now he’s out more money than he started with. He finally confronts Lebowski, and manages to talk him into giving him a grand to go away. He tells Maude about her father’s misdeeds despite the bribe, because fuck that guy.

Benoit Blanc: Maude, as a great reader of magazine articles, learns about and hires Blanc to find out where her stepmother is and retrieve the foundation’s money. He strongarms his way into making the ransom drop and all seems to go well, but then Bunny is not returned and her toe is sent in the mail. He confers with Maude, who still insists that Bunny can’t have been kidnapped and it can’t be her toe. Blanc is compelled by the confusing lines of the case. Maude very nearly seduces him but he insists on using a condom so she reveals the conception scheme and both agree to pretend it never happened. When the porn guys give him grief, he’s good enough at being classy and appearing rich that the beach cop can’t outright beat him up. Unfortunately, while being hassled by the porn guys and the cops, the nihilists have wrecked his car, and then toss a marmot at him (which he donates to the San Diego Zoo.) When at last he confronts Lebowski, he gives a big thundering speech condemning him and lets the newly returned Bunny know that her husband had been willing to abandon her to her fate.

Peter and Sam: Both Peter and Sam, newly turned 18 with drivers licenses all, are interviewing at some LA colleges and making some web videos documenting the process. At some kind of alumni event where Jeffrey Lebowski attends, Bunny begins to proposition one of them, then gets a better look and says “Fuck off, shrivel-dick.” Peter and Sam argue fiercely about which of them she meant. Lebowski contacts them to drop off the ransom money under the pretext that they had a “rapport” with her; they are strongarmed into saying yes, but secretly plan to record the whole process on their phones. Maude has them summoned to her house, and with all the nude art on display and the elevated talk from a beautiful woman, Sam in particular believes he is about to be seduced. This does not happen. After making the drop, being confronted with a cut off toe, threatened with castration by nihilists, having some of their gear stolen by a dumb kid doing a joyride (they got the gear back but the car was all busted up and they’ll have to give more money to the rental place) they go back over the footage they filmed and determine they were never given ransom money to begin with. Maude urges them not to reveal her father’s crimes online as she’ll be able to hold a tighter leash on him herself, and since Bunny returns unharmed they agree, and instead their video says “Maaaaybe Lebowski was crooked? Who knows!” In gratitude, Maude pays for the damages on the rental car.

Kinsey Milhone: The last Kinsey Milhone book I read actually involved a porn studio, so that’s a perfect starting point! Jackie Treehorn orders his guys to give her a good scare and a warning to leave him alone, but they mix up their “to threaten” list and think she’s Bunny Lebowski and owes them lots of money. By the time they realize she isn’t, they’ve revealed the whole Lebowski debt situation. This isn’t technically Kinsey’s affair, but she decides it’s her duty to warn Bunny that she’s in danger. Bunny blows her off and Lebowski decides she’s a lowlife connected to porn and orders her out of his house. He calls her back later to make the ransom drop, and Maude also gets in contact to tell her she doesn’t believe Bunny was kidnapped. When the drop goes off and Bunny is still not returned, Kinsey asks Maude to let her take a look at the financial statements of the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, and starts to get the idea that skimming from them was a regular Jeffrey Lebowski thing. The nihilists trash her car and throw a marmot at her, and she has a few sulky but heartwarming days with a pet marmot before she can get animal control to come pick it up. Given her experience spotting insurance fraud, the financial statements and the odd way Lebowski acts help her put together what happened. She confronts Lebowski, warns the newly-returned Bunny that her husband tried to leave her to her fate, and negotiates a fee with Maude that will covr, among other things, a new car and a new rug.

Miss Marple: Based on her accent, I’m guessing Maude spent a lot of her childhood in her mother’s custody in England, so maybe Miss Marple was her favorite babysitter and surrogate aunt, and they pick the wrong time to go to LA for a vacation together. Maude gets into a fight with her father about missing money, and he tells her that he had to pay the ransom on his kidnapped wife, but (since he didn’t find a good patsy on time) that the kidnappers just kept the ransom and didn’t give her back. Maude doesn’t believe any of this and talks it all over with Miss Marple, who starts investigating. Maude acts as her agent in this one, since nobody wants to see Miss Marple get manhandled by nihilists or porn guys. A dumb kid steals her car for a joyride and it is found badly damaged, for which Maude is endlessly apologetic. When Miss Marple reveals the whole scheme, Maude promises to keep her father on a tighter leash and Marple reflects that it’s better not to marry at all than to marry for any reason other than love. Maude takes this advice to heart and starts looking for a father to conceive a child with that she can raise totally by herself.

Dale Cooper: One thing Lebowski absolutely would not want to do is get involved with the FBI, but he’s here chasing the nihilists for committing nihilism-related supernatural crimes. He meets Maude this way, and although they are attracted to each other, she does not sleep with him, since she knows he would insist on being in his child’s life. Once she trusts him, she confides in him about not trusting her father and believing Bunny faked her own kidnapping. Cooper has a series of dreams involving a rabbit with a severed toe in its mouth. The porn guys try to rough him up under the mistaken impression that he was Bunny’s lover, and the nihilists use chaos magic to destroy his car. They also throw a marmot at him, which he proceeds to adopt. With Maude’s help, he makes an intricate weaving project whereby each thread has the name of another person on it. When all are unraveled, it lays bare the crimes (and thread) of Jeffrey Lebowski.

Sam Vimes: I don’t know the whole way this would go, but I do know it would involve him trying to track down human-animal shapeshifters until he finds out at a very late date that Bunny is just a name.

[liunaticfringe]

(via Lucy Liu's Independent Woman - Interview Magazine)

There have been many great sidekick pairings in the history of modern literature. Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer, Phileas Fogg and Jean Passepartout, Winnie-the-Pooh and Piglet…the list goes on. Yet, it seems there has never been a delightfully tumultuous relationship that comes close to echoing the one embodied by rogue detective Sherlock Holmes and his faithful friend and assistant Dr. John Watson. Written in the form of short stories by Arthur Conan Doyle between the late 19th and early 20th centuries, the opium-den loving Holmes would terrorize London with his intellectual, astute, and stubborn prowess, with Dr. Watson providing medical expertise and chronicling their entertaining exploits along the way.

Doyle’s works have now long been entered into the public domain, with many film and television adaptions cropping up every few years. Still, when CBS announced in 2012 that it would be turning Doyle’s works into an hour-long crime-drama series titled Elementary, it elicited an unusually high response—this was mostly due to the news that a woman would, in fact, be portraying Watson. Her name would be Joan, not John. And she’s now a fallen from grace surgeon-turned-sober companion and private detective, forfeiting her “Dr.” title in the process. The woman chosen to take on this exciting, contemporary role of Joan Watson was none other than seasoned actress Lucy Liu.

Liu, who’s best known for her roles as a fierce and ill-mannered lawyer in Ally McBeal, an ass-kicking “angel” in the rebooted Charlie’s Angels, and an equally ass-kicking bad girl in the Kill Bill series, certainly provides the yin to the yang of Jonny Lee Miller’s gritty portrayal of Holmes. Elementary chronicles the duo’s relationship as they consult for the NYPD on various criminal cases while living in a shared brownstone in Brooklyn Heights. Initially starting off in Season One as a substance-free friend to the fresh-out-of-rehab Holmes with a keen interest in solving crimes, Watson quickly transformed into a sharp and observant right-hand woman who now clearly has the aptitude to work on her own. And it appears she’ll be doing just that—the end of Season Two left viewers witnessing Watson’s decision to move out of the brownstone and start a new career as a solo private detective, seemingly fed-up with Holmes’ erratic behavior.

The warm and delightful Liu recently called up Interview from her home in New York City to discuss Elementary’s upcoming third season.

DEVON IVIE: Were you on set today?

LUCY LIU: I was running around like a maniac, yeah. It’s beautiful today, it started getting a little bit cooler again. But of course I’ve been bitten by the two mosquitos that are still alive in New York City.

IVIE: I know you were recently at New York Comic Con. How was it?

LIU: It was amazing. It’s such a spectator place. Not only do you get super fans, but you also get people who are curious and inventive and imaginative. It’s fun.

IVIE: Did you run into any cosplayers dressed as Joan Watson?

LIU: Oh, no, I don’t know about that. That’s funny! We did a panel with a huge audience so I couldn’t really see if anyone was wearing anything specific, but it’s an excuse for kids and adults to get dressed up and just be crazy. You know you’ve made it when you have super-fans out there.

IVIE: When you first read the scripts for Elementary, what was it that attracted you to the role of Joan?

LIU: I liked the fact that it was going to be about [Joan and Sherlock’s] relationship and their friendship, and bringing that into modern times. And I thought it was wonderful to change up the gender.

IVIE: Did you immerse yourself in Arthur Conan Doyle’s work as preparation at all?

LIU: I did, I did! I started reading the short stories. I never read them before so it was a really great excuse to read them. I can’t believe it was written so long ago, because it’s so current. The characters are so colorful, which is why I think there are so many incarnations of Watson and Holmes.

IVIE: Do you have a favorite story? I love “A Scandal in Bohemia.”

LIU: There were some pretty amazing stories. The one that stood out to me, which was a Watson story that I got to know him a little more through, was “The Hound of the Baskervilles.” He really is on his own in that. Of course it turns out that Holmes has been there all along, but it’s interesting looking into his interior.

IVIE: Yeah, the entirety of “The Hound of the Baskervilles” is narrated just by Watson. And his diary and letters, too.

LIU: Yeah, I think it’s really cool. We started incorporating that into the show, too, the letters and journals.

IVIE: Has this detective genre always appealed to you? Did you grow up watching or reading detective whodunits?

LIU: I remember more of the old school Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys sort of thing. I also grew up with the Scooby-Doo mysteries. Remember when the villain would go, “I would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for you rascal-y kids!” Those were the kind of the things I immersed myself in. I have to say that my mother has always been a huge fan of Columbo and Murder, She Wrote, so this show was her dream come true. I don’t think she totally understood what was going on with Ally McBeal. [laughs]

IVIE: I’ve enjoyed witnessing Joan’s evolution throughout the course of the show, starting off as a sober companion and eventually ending up as a trusty sidekick and confidant to Sherlock. What can we expect from Joan in Season Three?

LIU: When you see them in the third season, you see some friction between the two characters. Joan is now on her own, she has her own detective agency, has a boyfriend, and has been without Sherlock for eight months. She’s got her own apartment, she’s settled, and he shows back up. I think she’s a little bit hurt by what happened and how their relationship and partnership ended, which was basically his decision and his choice, and he left it all in one little note for her. I think she felt that their relationship was much deeper than that, and that he was dismissive in the way that he handled that.

IVIE: How would you define the relationship between Joan and Sherlock?

LIU: I think that it’s a really positive and good relationship, overall. They really have a good chemistry together, work really hard together, and understand each other. They acknowledge each other and respect each other, which is a really important way to have a friendship. And they can learn from each other, you know? She’s very curious about him and I think he sees that she’s a very smart person—that’s vital for him in having respect for someone, having them be intelligent and thinking for themselves.

IVIE: Do you see any of Joan in yourself?

LIU: I do to a certain degree. She’s a lot more measured and patient, for sure. She’s a very curious person, which I think I am, and I think she isn’t afraid of change. She was a doctor, and then became a sober companion, and then jumped off and became a detective. I think sometimes it’s good to make big leaps.

IVIE: You’ve probably been asked this question many times, but do you think a romance between Joan and Sherlock could ever fittingly happen?

LIU: It’s a question that’s often asked and I think it’s really up to the executives. Rob Doherty, the creator [of Elementary] really feels incredibly strongly about keeping their relationship platonic. He has already taken great strides to keep the relationship as clean as possible according to the literature, but he has also changed so much of it by changing the gender of Watson. To have them have a romantic involvement would turn the whole thing upside-down in a way that might really jump the line. [Doherty] felt really strongly about it and I think that’s the one thing he really wants to stay true to.

IVIE: I totally agree. Even on the BBC’s Sherlock, there are campaigns to get Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock and Martin Freeman’s Watson to become romantically involved. It’s like, enough already, no!

LIU: No way, that’s so weird! People do have that level of friendship oftentimes, but it doesn’t mean it’s physical. I think that everyone just assumes because there’s chemistry the next thing should be happening. I would vote “no” for a romance. I think for sure the creator would vote no on that, too.

IVIE: I’ve talked to both women and men who watch Elementary, and they all consistently mention how well dressed and fashionable Joan is. Do you collaborate with the wardrobe department on styling decisions at all?

LIU: That’s awesome. Yes, I collaborate with Rebecca [Hofherr], who’s the costume designer, who’s wonderful. She’s very easy to work with. One thing we try to maintain about Joan and her style is that she’s a bit wrinkled, you know what I mean? Sometimes it looks like things are really put together, but we always want to make sure things aren’t too tight and are comfortable, kind of like she throws things together. We don’t want it to seem so business-y, so we go away from suits. Chic, but not corporate. Also just to make her seem like her outfits aren’t so put-together all the time. But I’m glad that people really seem to like it, it’s a relief! We don’t splurge a lot on the show, we try to do cheaper things, like things Joan would wear a lot. She wears the same white jacket and shoes frequently.

IVIE: Will we be seeing more of the infamous Clyde the Turtle in the upcoming season?

LIU: Clyde will indeed be in it again. We have to share custody of Clyde.

IVIE: Is it true that Clyde is actually two tortoises? Pulling a Mary Kate and Ashley in Full House on us?

LIU: Yes. It’s just like having twins on a show. Just in case one is crying and screaming and passed out or something.

IVIE: You made your directorial debut for an episode of Elementary last season [“Paint It Black”]. Do you have plans to direct an episode again soon?

LIU: That was so exciting. I’ll be directing another episode again very shortly in December, so you’ll be seeing it in a month and a half.

IVIE: Where did your interest in directing come from?

LIU: I guess I was curious about it. Having been in this business for a while, you kind of see and get a glimpse of everything doing film and television. I think it seemed like a natural progression to go into directing, and I hope to explore more of it, because it’s very exciting and a really good way to collide all the things that you’ve known and experienced in the business and put them all into one.

IVIE: Is there an ideal guest star that you’d like to see on the show in the upcoming season?

LIU: I would love to see Mycroft come back. I really think there was a wonderful tension for Mycroft and Sherlock as well as the triangle that occurred when Joan became involved with him. There’s something very deep about that relationship, and I also think that Rhys Ifans is a fantastic actor. He commands the screen, but off-screen he’s incredibly lovely. A real treat to have on the show.

IVIE: I remember the first few episodes that I saw Rhys in, I was like, where have I seen this guy before? So I looked at his Wikipedia page and it became obvious: he was the crazy guy from Notting Hill!

LIU: Yes, the roommate! So good! Everything he does, he just kills it, no matter the role.

IVIE: And it’s always good to have some MI6 action on the show, which Mycroft provided. Some international flair.

LIU: [laughs] International flair, exactly, some added spice. Just throw some spy stuff in there to throw people off their game. You just don’t expect it, you know? It came out of nowhere.

IVIE: That whole three-episode arc at the end of the second season…

LIU: That was awesome. I was lucky enough to direct one of those episodes, which is more narrative in tone. It’s more fun in some ways, too.

IVIE: You’ve done a range of acting work for both television and film. Do you now find yourself preferring one to the other?

LIU: I love both of them equally. The lack of predictability with television is something that’s constantly changing what your perception of who you think your character is. Suddenly I have a father that’s schizophrenic, or I discovered something else, or I have a relationship with Mycroft. The things that pop up and change the game for you and always keep you on your toes. The wonderful thing about film is that you have something that has a beginning, middle, and end, and you have a concrete amount of time to shoot it. And the process of that can be longer, like editing and advertising and testing the movie, so it’s very different. Television you just continue going, no matter what’s happening outside of your world. You get lost in that vortex a little bit.

IVIE: It’s interesting that America is now embracing the “mini-series” format that has already been so heavily utilized overseas, where there are a set amount of short episodes, and that’s it. In a way, it’s kind of like a cinematic experience.

LIU: I like that, too. It allows you to have a freedom of creativity and at the same time you don’t feel like you have to be contracted to something for that long; you’re really working on a piece of art. And then you’re done and you move on, or it comes back, like Downton Abbey. You don’t know. Those things become little masterpieces. The thing about television is that you see a range of actors now that you may not have seen five years ago even, 10 years ago absolutely not, and I think now there’s no wrong about doing television. There’s no definitive category for what kind of department you fall into anymore.

IVIE: What’s a fun, secret fact about your costar Jonny Lee Miller?

LIU: A fun fact about Jonny Lee Miller is that he oftentimes does handstands on a wall before he does a take, sometimes with pushups, to get blood to his brain and get him geared up for a long monologue that he may have. He stays there, hangs a little bit, and then turns around and does the scene. Most of the time in the brownstone more than anywhere else. He’s in full costume and everything. That’s trivia!

IVIE: I wish I could do wall-handstands by myself.

LIU: Oh my god, I need someone to push my legs up and then hold me there. I’m a cheat!

ELEMENTARY PREMIERES THURSDAY, OCTOBER 30 ON CBS.

[vergi1ius]

Recently watched the Columbo episode “Lady in Waiting” and I had some thoughts @mesther99

So the murderer is the sister of the victim, who kills her brother because 1) he won’t let her date the guy she likes (cause he works for their family-owned (*cringe*) company and 2) the brother and their father were trying to control her life.

After the murder, the murderer takes over the company and starts letting loose.

On the one hand, it’s really hard to get quite what the visual cues of this transformation are for her, since I have so little reference to the time period (1971) that her fashion changes basically mean nothing to me; on the other hand, there doesn’t feel like there’s quite enough substance to her business decisions (”my brother ran the company on traditional values, but i’m going to be more progressive”) for the modern viewer to judge how good she is at running the company. The board of directors seems opposed to her changes, and while that seems to be indicating narratively that she’s doing a bad job... it’s hard to tell if that’s really the intent?

In any case, it feels like they’re going for a vibe of “now that she’s free of her brother’s and father’s influence, she’s gone wild!” Which... feels kinda rather sexist?

There’s a name for this weird paradox I’ve seen in regards to political minorities, in particular women and ethnic/racial minorities, that goes like “if men/white people/nobles weren’t around to guide this minority, their society would fall apart!” Which often has the huge blind spot of failing to account for the fact that minorities are so rarely given the training or opportunity to be in power, and that confirmation bias tends to focus on those minority individuals who did screw up being in power.

(There was some proto-feminist whose name I can’t remember who argued that if 100 girls were to be isolated from the rest of the world and educated without bias for gender, they’d prove themselves just as capable of any man, and I want to name this paradox after her, but I still can’t remember her name.)

Which is to say that the murderer in the episode doesn’t seem to have ever had a chance to actually prove or develop any leadership skills or life management skills, since all of that has been done for her by the men in her life. Which they might not have had to do if either of them had ever trusted her enough to give her the responsibility to prove herself.

[dibothy]

I did not know about the hunger games one and I am LOOKING, respectfully of course if you feel like sharing at all!

@chris-columbo also asked me to elaborate on this OK SO. I don’t want to do a 1v1 recreation of the hunger games but just changing out characters. I’m just going to take elements from the series, though I DO want to keep a mockingjay-esque plot element It’s still just a little baby au, but the bare basics of it is that Zim grew up in District 2, the Defense District, He was trained for the military from a young age and taught that the reaping was an honor. He did well in his classes, but was not well liked by his peers, and despite District 2 being a privileged district with enough resources to care for its people he was often given the least of the rations and just generally not treated well. (Which stunted his growth, making him perpetually kinda small.) He’s still blindly loyal to the Capitol though, and a gifted student- if a little bit prone to friendly fire. When the reaping comes he is chosen, much to the embarrassment and chagrin of his District. They urged him to step down so that a student they had groomed for the reaping - Tak - could take his place, but he refused. (I’m removing the gender thing on the reaping, now it’s just two kids, not inherently a boy and girl.The other tribute might be Tenn?) Dib was born in District 5 the Power District to a great inventor, and therefore had decent resources and..modest but acceptable environment. His main issue was not wanting to follow in the family business, which led to him being shunned by his father and spending a lot of time considered a foolish and weak-willed child by his District. He’s intelligent and capable, and spends time wandering the woods and even stepping in neighboring districts in search of strange creatures or artifacts from Before Panem. Strictly forbidden activity, but he doesn’t get caught. He’s kind of disillusioned, honestly. He sees how the poor of his district look, and those of District 6 look even worse. His father’s power doesn’t help that. I don’t know if he’s actively chosen at the reaping or if he volunteers to take Gaz’s place. Either way his father is...unnervingly glad to see Dib in the games. Perhaps thinking that if Dib wins, he’ll have done something worthwhile with his life, and if he loses than the better heir will remain anyway. Zim and Dib of course meet in training, and become rivals, seeing each other as the only major “threat” at first. They start the games that way, but seeing how brutal the games are changes something in Zim, and they both end up seeking each other out. A rival you respect and like is a friend in desperate times, and before it’s over, neither can stand to kill the other, and even Zim is starting to grasp that maybe the Capitol isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Real combat, killing other kids, is so different from training. And training would say he should kill Dib without hesitation.. They protect each other till the end. Zim is forced to help kill the other tribute from his own District. And that’s about as far as I’ve gotten right this second.

[d-criss-news]

When it was announced that The Rosie O'Donnell Show would be back for one night only with a guest list of about 15 million Broadway talents, many of us wondered, would it be a return to the glory days of her multiple Emmy-winning daytime talk show or more like her ill-fated attempt to resuscitate the primetime variety format on NBC in 2008. It turned out to borrow from both those predecessors while evolving into something completely different — a low-tech lovefest that felt like eavesdropping on a group chat among friends looking out for one another in a time of need.

It was spontaneous, messy and blighted by some of the worst audio glitches imaginable. Yet it was often affectingly intimate, and even over an endurance-testing three-and-a-half commercial-free hours, also strangely addictive. The lack of slickness seemed to carry through to the relaxed manner of the guests, and their refreshing unpretentiousness.

Conceived by actor-producer (and occasional tech-support helpmate) Erich Bergen and live-streamed on Broadway.com and the website's YouTube channel, the show was a benefit for The Actors Fund, the charitable organization founded in 1882 that supports performers and behind-the-scenes theater workers. It raised more than half-a-million dollars, O'Donnell announced at the end of the marathon, sitting in a Hamilton hoodie and offering a champagne toast in a glass emblazoned with the face of Barbra Streisand.

She conducted the entire show from behind a laptop in her New Jersey garage, its floor spattered with the paint spillage of countless craft projects. "I'm a little bit of a Broadway nerd, I admit it," said O'Donnell, establishing her dual role as host and superfan.

Part of the show's unique pleasure was seeing favorite Broadway performers chilling in their own homes, almost all of them dressed down, with little visible attention to makeup or hair, and zero concern about unflattering angles. It was a great equalizer, proving that even artists who can hold packed theaters in the palm of their hands with a song are housebound and trying to make the best of a bad situation just like the rest of us — staying close to their families, killing time, learning to cook, wondering how long this unnerving isolation will last. Or how much longer we can put off that shower.

It was kind of comforting to see Idina Menzel sitting by her microwave and confessing, "I guess I'm going a little bonkers," while lamenting a failed lasagna attempt and sharing the challenges of homeschooling her son when she's no math genius. Likewise, hearing Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker talk about watching Columbo reruns or catching up on The Crown, while SJP begged for no spoilers on the final episode of The Sopranos, which she may now get to at last. Seeing Annette Bening on her Los Angeles balcony wearing a "Make America Kind Again" baseball cap was as much a tonic as watching Neil Patrick Harris do a card trick with his adorable twins. And who doesn't want to meet Gloria and Emilio Estefan's cute rescue dogs or hear about Lin-Manuel Miranda's kids' reaction to their first exposure to Singin' in the Rain?

Then there were the musical interludes.

Where else could you catch Patti LuPone, in magnificent voice, singing the urgently upbeat 1930s standard "A Hundred Years From Today," unaccompanied while sitting by the jukebox in her basement? Or Kelli O'Hara nestled into an armchair honoring Stephen Sondheim's 90th birthday by wrapping her crystalline soprano around "Take Me to the World," a hymn to unity from Evening Primrose? Or husband and wife Audra McDonald and Will Swenson duetting on the Charlie Chaplin evergreen, "Smile," from their Westchester living room? Or Darren Criss pouring his heart into another Sondheim classic about the desire for connection, "Being Alive," from Company, accompanying himself in a lovely pop arrangement on acoustic guitar from the sofa of his Los Angeles home? And while sound problems plagued Barry Manilow's selection of hits, ending with "I Made It Through the Rain," I was tickled to see his Judy Garland Kleenex dispenser.

Many of the song choices were thoughtfully apropos of the current crisis, offering comforting reassurance of the eventual return of resilience and togetherness while people in major cities all over the country self-isolate as the infection rate of the coronavirus pandemic continues to climb. Maybe Tituss Burgess at his home keyboard singing "The Glory of Love" is exactly the kind of uplift we all need right now.

Even in the seemingly random numbers, the entire enterprise was characterized by a spirit of generosity and sharing.

Kristin Chenoweth celebrated a Starbucks romance in "Taylor the Latte Boy." Matthew Morrison goofed it up on ukulele to a mashup of "The Bare Necessities" and "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" from his Disney Dreamin' album. Alan Menken whipped through a medley of his songs from The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast and Little Shop of Horrors, among others, at the piano. Ben Platt, also at the keyboard, did Bob Dylan's "Make You Feel My Love." And Adrienne Warren, the sensational star of Tina: The Tina Turner Musical, growled out "Simply the Best" from her bathtub. That was on the third attempt during a particularly troublesome audio patch, by which time her bubbles were history.

Prompted by O'Donnell, more than one guest reminded viewers that The Actors Fund is not just about Broadway artists pulling star salaries but also stagehands, makeup artists, wigmakers and ushers who work in what is very much a gig economy. The organization provides emergency financial assistance, social services, affordable housing, healthcare and insurance counseling and addiction support.

"Everything's a one-off," said Tony-winning actor Brian Stokes Mitchell, who serves as chairman of The Actors Fund. "That's how we get by, and many people are living on the edge right now."

"We're all just one, two, maybe three paychecks away from bankruptcy," added Billy Porter, whose mother is in an Actors Fund nursing home. "In this community, our whole job description is insecurity," said Judith Light.

Porter, along with Lea Salonga and longtime activist Light recalled how Broadway was on the frontlines of another life-threatening struggle during the early days of the AIDS crisis. All of them urged viewers to stay strong and take the time to reflect on the value of solidarity.

While O'Donnell has never been shy about her opposition to Donald Trump and everything he stands for, the show was remarkably light on politics, with just the occasional dig slipping through. She opened with a little celebratory "Yay!" while admitting she had missed the president's daily coronavirus press update, and then explained that she and her guests were not there to talk Trump. When Harvey Fierstein, O'Donnell's 2005 stage husband in Fiddler on the Roof, reminded her of all the election work still to be done, she said, "Let's all just know, we deserve a leader who tells the truth." And the delays in making coronavirus testing more widely available prompted a comment that the government should have gotten busy on that back in January when the writing was already on the wall.

Mostly, however, the hastily revamped Rosie O'Donnell Show was about bringing people together at this time of anxiety and isolation, as the host reconnected with artists whom she has championed since her reign as the Queen of Nice. "Everyone in the community loves you," she told Chita Rivera in a particularly effusive greeting. "You are our queen mother!"

Many of the performers would have been decompressing after rehearsals or Sunday matinees if the Broadway shutdown hadn't happened — Criss in American Buffalo, Broderick and Parker in Plaza Suite, Warren in Tina, Lauren Patten and Elizabeth Stanley in Jagged Little Pill. Sunday would have been LuPone's opening night in the gender-flipped revival of Company. Gavin Creel, who abruptly ended his London run in Waitress to fly home and is in isolation in a cabin in upstate New York, revealed the fear that he might have contracted the virus, given that several others in the cast have fallen ill, with one of them testing positive.

The show bridged the gap separating us from artists whose work we normally experience on the other side of the footlights. Most of us will never again get to see Stephen Sondheim and Andrew Lloyd Webber exchange greetings in song on the birthday the two composers happen to share. From those celebrated veterans to rising-star newbies, the common denominator here was everybody facing the crisis just like us, reaching out a hand of friendship, albeit from a mandatory safe distance.

[dinoburger]

well now is as good a time as ever to post ur lgbt headcanons about the Misfit Squad (party members)

I wanted to do some Special pride doodles of the lot but if I dont answer this now I never will, so I’ll just babble about it instead

for starters - obvs - Brad is nonbinary. He doesn’t really try to express as masculine nor feminine, he just is what he is, it’s something he’s explored quietly over time. if he sees something he likes or with a nice pattern, floral stuff usually, he’ll enjoy wearing that thing regardless of what gender is expected to wear it.

he’s not honestly that fussy about pronouns either, usually it’s just he/they though

Birdie is also nonbinary (I just love it, whoever suggested that one to me) - just, the guy doesn’t care at all about something like that, he quite looks up to people that don’t conform

Terry is gay (OBVIOUSLY)

it’s just like, almost always been pretty obvious to him I think, the first time he heard the definition of the word gay he was like “oh, that’s me!”

Rooster is also gay, he’s the quiet reserved type who ended up putting more time and love into just farming because the normative ideas of love and romance being presented to him didn’t really fit him…

Olan is bisexual, and he’s pretty unabashed about it he’s also a switch and a power-bottom

he gets pe-

I havent thought a lot about Buff but I feel like? maybe he’s gay? he could’ve had female partners pre-flash but honestly it was just like he was really close friends, he’s still rubbing his two braincells together and figuring himself out sakjdfhsdkjfhsakfjlaslkdfjs

I’ve heard NB Buckets HCs which is like? valid.

Bo is bi, just a big, strange, soft bi

Carp and Harvey are both gay fish

Roger is Roger

Shocksy is pan, just full of love

Nern and Fly are just dumbasses. They’re both too fixated on being their dumbass selves to know the specifics. Nern doesn’t know how to express love other than by talking at people and Fly has his wierdass hate-crush on Brad which is fucking hilarious.

Dick would fall under this category but he’s a boring cishet underneath his pathetic party boy shtick, he was supportive of the other rangers like Tooley when he was around but he stopped caring

this is just a general statement - I think Fardy needs a hug

I haven’t thought much about the others, but I’ll shove in a bunch more hcs about guys who aren’t party members that I have thought about -

Rando is gay (I’m into the thought that he and Clint might have a thing going on…)

Chris Columbo? trans and gay. yes, he came up with that name when he was much younger and he thought it sounded really cool. no, it’s not “Columbus”, it’s “Columbo”, he insisteth.

he couldn’t even decide for a few years whether it was short for “Christopher” or not

Rick is bi, Shelly was convinced he was gay for a spell because of how effeminate he can be but he just loves women?? he’s all about women! he’s cis through and through but he admires women. and men. and others. he can’t help himself, he’s conscious of it because it breaks his perfect little hard-working straight man persona, and he’s struggled with that. even after the flash.

Buzzo is trans and bi. he just is.