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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 5 months

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queer signalling: louis and harry living their beautiful queer lives, collected by me

since we must take note of our fellow queers when they signal that they are very much one of us, despite being closeted. since i've had a very very queer few years thanks to them, thanks to their signalling, thanks to them being brave.

(!! this list isn't exhaustive, and if i've forgotten your favorite, by all means let me know. there's always room for another edition. it's been a while since i made a compilation and felt there was a need of a new one on my blog. this one goes a few years back, since my last one dates from 2021 :'o. so yeah. here we go.)

harry in my policeman, playing a closeted queer man, based on the book that's long been one of his favorites. lauded by the director and co-stars for how well he portrayed this character, how well he understood.

harry wearing a green flower on his chest for the mp premiere, placing himself (once again) in the same line of history as oscar wilde.

louis's green flowers on his initial 28clothing jersey at the first afhf, which includes bonus roses and 28s all around

the entire late night talking mv bc!!!!!

louis's rainbow stage lights during sibwawc. he really did that. every single night.

the entire dazed magazine happening. “I’ve always tried to compartmentalise my personal life and my working life,” he explains. / “I have unlocked an ability to be myself completely, unapologetically,” he says with conviction." / “I think through my own sense of self and personal journey, I am realising that happiness isn’t this kind of end state.”

louis's gay exit songs: most notably 'ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've)'

harry flirting with stanley tucci

louis and his gay ass tank tops !!! we must point it out !!!!!!

all along

harry kissing a pride flag during harry's house ono in nyc

rainbow flare during the btm mv

harry being gifted a mask of his own face at munich n2, which prompted him to say that he feels like he's wearing a mask sometimes

28 in a triangle for 28clothing!!!!!!!!

kit connor soft launching 28 clothing. a young actor starring in a queer coming-of-age series, who was forced to come out after being accused of queerbaiting. he was the first one, besides louis, to wear 28clothing

harry's grammy's speech "people like me" (which ppl sadly misunderstood), echoing what he's been saying on tour for years. this doesn't happen to people like him. if they only knew, right?

harry's freddie-inspired outfit for the grammy carpet (which also brought back his theme for clown/jester fits, like harryween 2021 n2. wonder why)

louis's merch graphic where a boy is trying to smash a glass ceiling

harry posing for david hockney, actual living legend, gay artist of the ages. "Styles seems to know how lucky he is, adding, with a tinge of disbelief: “I’m in awe of the man with enough one-liners for a lifetime.” As to what those one-liners might be? Styles and Hockney’s mutual silence on that question suggests that what happens in the studio, stays in the studio."

louis having suspicious visuals during back to you, the only visuals of that type on tour

harry's 2022 harryween outfit: dressed as danny (literally. he did that. he went grease on us.) but wearing sandy's jacket

louis at barricade aka held safely in the arms of strong security personnel

harry singing man, i feel like a woman and still the one with shania twain. while wearing a rainbow discoball jumpsuit (parallel with kacey musgraves wearing a rainbow dress to sing it with him years ago.)

louis's gay ass merch for the away from home festival

harry dressed in nina ricci by harris reed, an explicitly gender-fluid line. "At 18 I found myself living in london creating ruffle blouses, corsets, fabric flowers and flares from my kitchen floor (...). My creations at the time were met with nothing but criticism for being “too feminine” or “costume”, teachers said I should focus on “menswear” or “womenswear”. l remember it really wasn’t until I started dressing for myself and who I was that it all clicked. @harrystyles was my first ever client who embraced the fun, fluid and expressive clothing I was creating."

continuous bluegreening. to name a few: harry's werchter fit, all this time lights, satellite caps in two colors only, louis's smiley flickering bluegreen on tour in 2022, the james cordon shit, louis in uncasville. enjoy this post here

harry's snl shoot unseens: him as ariel

louis out in amsterdam at a gay bar

harry going to the women's only swimming pond (on a day it was open for men, but this is important to me okay)

harry's use of orchids in his visuals during 'she' during love on tour '23

the 'hairy mermaid' tour visuals

harry as a mermaid during the mfasr mv. as a supreme physical manifestation of harry as the mermaid he truly is inside. but in his true form he gets chopped up and consumed. literally

as it was mv and its parallels with the matrix, hints to harry as the woman with the red dress.

louis jumping up on barricade against the one spot where a pride flag was draped over it

oh yeah that exact same thing happened in 2022 too

harry forming a skirt with a pride flag in brasil after his pants ripped

that gay ass denim getup with the fur collar?? while wearing the fucking peace ring????

harry and phoebe breaking gender norms in the tpwk mv dance. no i'm not over it yet shut up

louis wearing a basquiat t-shirt, another famously queer artist joining the ranks

harry bought an actual genuine basquiat. flex

harry dressed in skirts for gucci

"happy pride! happy pride! 'tis the season! can you tell i'm relaxed?"

"isn't all of this sparkly bi music?"

satellite mv rainbow planet tshirt

louis's bigger than me promo where he's literally george michael like??? IM SORRY???????

harry kissing lewis capaldi at the brits

harry kissing nick kroll at the dwd premiere. lol

and... harry as friend of D O R O T H Y. sang over the rainbow. we all cried. especially me at this clip of harry glancing in relief at his band after over the rainbow.

#queer signalling #my posts #long post #anyways............. hmu if you have more bc i know there's more that i've forgotten but i didn't want to wait #but these were my personal highlights #this is for me more than anyone i know. i don't really know if anyone's really waiting on this #but i personally have been feeling like i gloss over a lot #and forget a lot #and minimise a lot for fear of making a big thing out of something small #but... then i make big things into something small.#which i hate #going through my archive just shows how fast an event passes by and i just stopped talking about it #ive complained about this many a time i know #anygays #for whoever wants to come scream with me <3 #also i have left out some events that were too easily deniable and i didn't want to clutter the post #since what's actual tangibly real and straight from them is so insane already #also that gif is how i feel rn.#how i often feel tbh #i want to be braver again

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genderkoolaid · 1 year

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i think "nonbinary" can be useful but a lot of times the way it is being used isn't helpful to actually discussing nonbinary people, especially since it is a HUGE umbrella term with very few boundaries. like there are nonbinary men & women, so positioning "nonbinary" as something intrinsically separate from man/woman isn't accurate. or there are times where it would be more useful to name the specific group (like multigender people, androgynes, abinary/aphorians) rather than a much vaguer term

in general the problem is that our language to describe nonbinary existence is basically some scraps held together with duct tape. there's sooo many ways in which nonbinary people are erased or binaried through language. not just through the lack of gender neutral options but the la of blatantly genderqueer ones.

i kinda feel like as of right now, nonbinary-ness is pretty slapdash & all over the place and it would be helpful to have a large-scale discussion on what terminology would be best for discussing things like exorsexism and it's various aspects, and how to talk about nonbinary people without homogenizing us, while ALSO acknowledging the need for umbrella terms that can cover a range of individual identities, even if people don't personally identify with the umbrella term itself. & on that note we should also probably discuss the issue of. like. perfectionism wrt nonbinary language & the way that potentially useful terms get lost bc of it. I don't think nonbinary people can really achieve meaningful equality and inclusion on the same level until we are able to have equally diverse and useful ways of describing ourselves, and a stronger understanding of how we relate to each other as a community.

#I've been chewing on this general topic for a while #bc I'm realizing that I don't like identifying as nonbinary specifically bc of how ppl often use that #to just mean ''gender neutral'' & often exclude androgyne multigenders by assuming nb can't be men/women #even trans theory so often just groups nonbinary people in with whoever feels the most relevant and is uninterested in exploring exorsexism #outsidr of it's connection to other issues #there's an assumption that nonbinary experiences can be more or less grouped in w binary ones without missing out on much #it's just frustrating. same w when people assume that all transitions end w people looking cis-passing #and ignore the difficulties that can come from things like non traditional bottom surgery!#there's next to no resources for salmacians and virtually none for agenital prople #which y'know. might be important for things like urinary/genital care #or sex work or anything #hell so many people have argued that exorsexism doesn't exist because all nonbinary oppression is ''just transphobia''#so many ppl are completely uninterested in looking at nonbinary people separate from binary ppl & binary experiences #m.

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fatehbaz · 26 days

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#thinking of dinosaurs and troodontids were my favorite dinosaurs as a child #when younger i had a real full troodontid tooth fossil that meant a lot to me #for a time we lived within a few kilometers of hadrosaur sites and troodontid sites #while wider general area had many sites of recovery for the big celebrities like tyrannosaur and multiple dromaeosaurs #at that time troodontids were kinda infamous for i think the depiction in some childrens field guides and dino books #which depicted like a fantasy speculative humanoid troodontid based on 1980s model at Canadian Museum of Nature in ottawa #anyway would visit a small local paleo center a lot and woman in her 70s or 80s ran the counter of their center and rock shop #one day she asked me what my fave dino was and i said troodon so she pulled out the tooth and just gifted it to me #in little black case size of ring box with padding and transparent plastic viewing cover kinda like laminate for displaying a trading card #tooth got stolen from out my vehicle while giving some people a ride while at university before i got too poor for tuition #later during first year of pandemic owner of my storage unit died and new property owners threw away everything i ever owned #i was homeless anyway lost job due to early pandemic closures and had to allocate any money to insulin and other prescrip meds #but wouldve found a way to save my things if the new owners had contacted me #they threw out photoalbums y backpacking gear y books y musical instruments y clothes y artwork y camera y all family keepsakes #and all childhood treasures like souvenirs and gifts and school awards and writing portfolios and all the little memories #which i was always sentimental about as child #from earliest age my room looked like a natural history museum with plants and maps and library of field guides #and rocks and field trip keepsakes and all kinds of little animal figurines and mother had painted room in forest greens and browns #to feel like a forest and among the succulent plants and a globe sat the troodon tooth #parents passed when i was a child #never near any family and were always moving never got to settle into proper stable place then father passed after long sad illness #and mother put in so much effort but she passed few years later and i could not take care of myself or my remaining material possessions #and so im still quite hurt having nothing whatsoever remaining of my childhood or school friends or mother or life generally #and when trying to process grief my thoughts often come back to the troodontid tooth as a focal point a distillation of what was lost #even when young i knew it was advised not to become too connected to material physical possessions #but still there are some small little trinkets in our lives that seem to hold so much meaning and i tortured myself for losing that tooth #thinking about troodon reminds me of childhood

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pitchswift · 11 months

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something something something about baz feeling so othered in his life due to both his vampirism and sexuality and how he struggled to connect to people not only because he’s afraid for his life or judgment but also because he doesnt know how to relate to life itself since it’s something so divorced from his reality he can only long and wish and how everything about him is just wishing and hoping and grieving since he was a kid up until he finally connected with simon

#would also like to say something about how he doesn’t know how to be truly honest about his feelings since he always think of them as a #very passing thing #saddening #carry on #baz pitch #txt #simon snow #snowbaz #wayward son #awtwb #😞#listen he is my baby i talk about him quite often in my head #i was rereading the first book while listening to evermore by tay and #when i hit this part tay sang if I can’t relate to you anymore then who am i related to #which is fitting

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varilien · 2 years

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here hold these

(forgot to credit the pervert jerky coat oop)

#trigun #trigun fanart #trigun anime #vash #vash the stampede #wolfwood #nicholas d. wolfwood #meryl stryfe #milly thompson #millions knives #knives millions #vashwood #tendency to delete anything i don't feel like finishing but maybe i Shouldn't maybe i should start compiling them. posterity #a thing about me is i fucking LOVE deleting and throwing away shit <3 i love to get Rid of Things <3 <3 #and it is a terrible habit LMAO so often a lil time passes n i go shit why'd i do that. and then not learn anything dhfgjdk

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rapidhighway · 3 months

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I always feel like everyone is staring at me when i go for a walk its so horrible i always think they hate me or they're laughing at me ToT

#pleaseeee all i want is to chill #but ifeel like EVERYONE is looking at me i catch people looking at me #and idk they're just doing the same thing im doing at the same time or what???#idk i think everyone is staring at me as i pass them by or do whatever #and i often just try not to check but ometimes i do and so often they are looking STOPPPPPPPP #anyway i kinda started crying during my walk because of that today im so normal and awesome #and when it's people who are well dressed it feel even worse LEAVE ME ALONEEEE #i literally never want to leave the house sometimes ugh #sorry i need to vent its been sitting in my brain for hours now i cant take ittttt 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#THE SKULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also sometimes people leave helpful comments when i vent and i like that so #ajjjjjjjjjjj

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ali3nboyfriend · 4 months

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i'm not a butch woman but i believe in their beliefs

#as a non-passing trans man i am often mistaken for one #and like. i feel a lot of solidarity w butches. a lot of the feelings they describe about their gender are things i've felt about my own #holding their hands in solidarity #sorry if these tags are incoherent the melatonin is hitting me really hard #starscream.txt

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icewindandboringhorror · 6 months

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I find it kind of silly that so many of those "time based life rule" sayings are like ~deep serious guidelines~ of some sort, but then there's that one other Well Known Rule that's just like "hrmm can I eat something off of the ground or not"

#the duality of human condition.. two biggest concerns in the modern era are attempts at self fulfilling productivity #and also 'if i drop my sandwich can i still eat it :('#Also while capitalism is often linked with/the source of hyper productivity culture - note that I do not mean the images in that context #'meaningful to you' does not have to mean 'productive within a capitalist system'. The point is not 'every waking hour of every day #must be spent in the most societally productive grinding mindset hyper efficency mode possible' but more like #if you've always wanted to learn french ever since you were a kid and you think it would be fulfilling to you (just because you like it #absent of any larger purpose like using it for a job/monetizing it somehow/etc.). and you've just spent like 5 hours straight on tiktok #or something mindlessly scrolling the internet. maybe someimtes it'd help for your own personal fulfillment in the long #run to try to - the next time you have 5 spare hours - work on learning french or something that is actually significant to you #as a person and that you'll be glad you worked towards. instead of weeks and weeks passing by and feeling you have nothing to show for it #or etc. AAANYWAY. The images/rules themselves are also NOT the main point of this post. More just the juxtaposition of them together #and the fact that 3 of them are serious seeming while one is so mundane it seems silly in comparison.#BUT even though they're not the main point . I still didn't want it to come across as if I was like promoting or buying into capitalist #productivity culture propaganda or etc. I don't find productivity tips like this inherently bad as long as they're kind of divorced from #those ideas. I think it's still important in life to have goals even if those goals exist outside of the typical expected framework.#I mean that's actually part of why a culture of chronically exhausted overworked deprived people is damaging because if you #'re forced to spend 85% of your waking time working at some job that is perosnally meaningless to you that brings you nothing that #youre only doing under threat of starvation and houselesness and etc. then of course you don't have much time for hobbies or things you car #about and of course you'll feel more aimless and personally unsatisfied and like life is not fulfilling or interesting.#Productivity and efficiency is GOOD actually. as long as it's able to be directed in ways that are actually meaingful to the community or #individual and bring some sort of feeling of fulfillment or progress or accomplishment and working towards a person's personal ideas #of happiness whatever those are. rather than just working away aimlessly so some guy you don't know can buy a 20th house or etc. etc.#ANYWAY.. lol.. Me overthinking things perhaps.. probably not as likely #that people see the silly little cat images and go 'WOW EVIL you must be a capitalist grind culture lover' like its pretty clear #thats not the point... but... just in case... lol.. I loooove to over clarify things that don't actually need clarification

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itspileofgoodthings · 10 months

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so funny because my emotions are a strength of mine (also their strength in particular is a strength) but they’re also a huuuuge weakness and downside and pitfall as well, and not just because they make me suffer. they also just, like, get in the way of so many good things.

#they’re part of my eloquence/persuasive powers!#such as they are #and people respond to the passion! but I actually think they get in my way more often than not #and just make my points so much less valid and interesting #when I can look back at a thing from the vantage of emotional hindsight and talk about it quickly and simply and analytically #when I’m not actively WRESTLING with something I feel like I do my best work #but idk. maybe that’s just how it feels from the inside and isn’t actually so #nah it is so. at least with negative emotions. I am only off-putting and annoying and disagreeable when I’m speaking on a thing negatively #and even positively sometimes that first flush of emotion that’s carrying me along has to die before I can really speak honestly #like me speaking on Jonathan byers with SOOO much overflowing emotion and warmth and love #akksksjdjejejejejejjejeje #but there was stuff I was missing and wouldn’t look at!!!#it was all conviction and warmth but then I was wrong #TLDR: I think I’m most persuasive when the emotion has passed or at least is not immediately present and I’m speaking about things #more rationally #Because I like to think my rationality is still not cold! It’s very alive but it isn’t so weighed down by emotions #It’s why I need to restrain myself from speaking bitterly (at least publicly) when I’m mad about stuff #i just say all the ugliest and in many ways LEAST true things about whatever I’m talking about #even as I’m reaching for clarity #again. Teaching helps with this.#time mellows the first waves of emotion appropriately. still giving my takes life but not overpowering the vision (hopefully)#but then idk. sometimes I have a take and many very very smart people hate it so much #so it’s just like #shrug emoji #Maybe I AM wrong #I can’t be the judge of my own takes turns out. Not really #but I guess I’m learning to have them anyway #if it’s organic and hits me like a wave of revelation #it’s always those takes people hate the MOST though aksjsjejejeje #again except for my students. because they don’t know to hate them so they just follow where I lead (mostly)

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merlinmagicmania · 10 months

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I know Merlin’s magic remaining secret from everyone and him being left without a support system was integral to the eventual tragedy of the show and the self-fulfilling prophecy of it all, but I still really wish we got magic reveals with every character and magical shenanigans. Lancelot was one of my favorite characters and we only get him for a few episodes. And Gwaine would have been an excellent partner in crime. And lets be honest, if Gwen knew? Tragedy averted. All of camelot’s braincells travel towards her like ants seeking sugar and everyone else has to root around in the dirt and hope they find one that has yet to make the journey to their one true home. I would have even settled for a little time-loop episode where everything gets reversed. There are so many ways to do a magic reveal! There was so much untapped comedic potential! Those scenes in the og charmed where Daryll doesn’t understand any of the witchy nonsense that’s happening? Hilarious! That scene in smallville where Lana questions Clark about all the mysteriously solved villain-of-the-week incidents while they’re driving? Also hilarious! It’s not that hard. The knights needed to figure out Merlin was Dragoon. Gwen and Arthur needed to realize they almost lost Merlin dozens of times. Mordred and Merlin could have been partners in crime and absolutely terrorize the shit out of everyone with mindspeak. Morgana also could have been “the antagonist” without losing her core character traits, but that’s a rant for another day? Where was I going with this?

#late night thoughts about bbc merlin #bbc merlin #merlin #To be clear I think the tragedy of the show is part of what makes it compelling #i do actually think telling a story and telling it well often involves playing with themes in ways that don’t always end happily #i’m just having sad gorl hours about merlin again #it shall pass #i love the show #and this criticism is just bc the writers made me feel things about the characters #and i have the urge to pull them out of their sandbox clean up their scratches and puppet them with strings to make them do a jig #if that makes sense #anyways #i am endlessly greatful to fanfic authors for feeding me magic reveal fics #and one day i will contribute my own #the ideas are all rattling around in my noggin #and i have opinions about how i like things to be #alas i must actually type though #one day…

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monty-glasses-roxy · 2 months

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Thoughts~

Bonnie being angry and disappointed at Freddy when Cassie helps bring him back only for him to see the destruction and decay of his family and home that Freddy allowed to happen because of Gregory, and breaks up with him.

Bonnie later slowly starts falling in love with Proto Freddy (maybe a bit of it is Bonnie projecting but he's def falling) instead.

And Freddy can see it happening from where he is.

Gay drama~

(Long post. I went off on one lmao and can't use read mores on my phone, sorry mobile users)

Ohhh that's a fun one! Bonnie rebounding onto Protobear and after a while those feelings become real... he deserves it honestly. He deserves a happy ending after everything, and so does Protobear! Bet that's an emotional rollercoaster to get through though... That party doesn't sound fun... For them anyway. Very fun for us though! Sucks to be them!

You know what else is fun for this? Bonnie falling for whoever Freddy believed deactivated him. Freddy treating someone differently before the events of SB, and side eying them all the time, not trusting them at all because of what the must have done to Bonnie... It must have been them! They're the only one the makes sense! They're the one that made him disappear and is trying to act like everything's normal! They must be to blame! They took his Bonnie from him and won't tell him what they did or where he is! Whether he's right or not is irrelevant, if he believes it's true, he's going to want nothing to do with them! They need to stay away from Bonnie!

And now here he is. Watching Bonnie flirt with that person. Be it Monty, Roxy, Moon, Chica, whoever. Freddy finally saying out loud what he's felt he's known for a long time now, that this animatronic killed him, how could Bonnie possibly even still look at them, never mind fall in love with them after that?!

Bonnie's face falls flat. He turns to Freddy and stares him right in the eyes. "They didn't do it, Freddy." or even, "They did it to save me, Freddy. What did you do?"

Absolutely devastating. The gay drama is so good

On another note, this is making me think of Protobear and Roxy being fucking hilarious. "Hey, you wanna really freak him out?" one of them asks and they start fake dating in front of Freddy to piss him off. Like they're the most over the top, mushy couple with the most insufferable nicknames, trying so hard not to laugh their asses off, and the first one to crack loses. Everyone gets in on it. Whaaaaat?? Roxy and Protobear?? Oh they're sooooo in love so so so in love, they're not pretending, they would never pretend!!

Jskdndk they get Cassie in on it and she starts calling them mum and dad 2 and Freddy is pointedly trying to leave the room as quickly as possible, but as usual, the fucking doors aren't letting him out again. They're always on the blink now, it's absolutely never Roxy using her security clearance to play Musical Doors with him. Nope. Never. Look at their fake mushy romance boy, you can't escape.

Freddy has never been more confused and sickened in his life. He's always hated Roxy and Roxy's always hated him, this is the worst thing to have to watch ever. He's even more upset if Bonnie pretends to be their partner as well, and even more so if Roxy was who he assumed deactivated him. This is a nightmare scenario and he's being so brave about it.

Sat there trying so hard not to say a word. He's so fine. Not glaring at all. No no no, he's not staring listlessly at them, he's just trying to contact maintenance via the network, obviously. He's not resisting the urge to grimace and not wishing the floor would swallow him up right now. Absolutely not. He would never. He's so so so happy for them. Yup. So so happy. Could not be happier. Why won't these fucking doors open?!

You could apply the fake dating to Protobear and Bonnie specifically too. Bonnie's going through a rebound, and he knows it, so he stays away from Protobear for a while. He tries to take care of himself and the others are right there to help him out the best they can. When he's feeling better, he starts gradually spending more time with Protobear (who has had the situation of Bonnie and Freddy explained to him and is very understanding about it) and the two start slowly building a friendship. Slowly, so as to not rush Bonnie through anything. Protobear himself has walked away from several hangouts because he can tell that Bonnie is struggling, even if he won't admit it, they're handling this with the utmost care...

But then Bonnie, Roxy, Monty and Chica, the four that should never be trusted without supervision, get talking. Bonnie is laughing at these three clowns telling him all about how they're fucking with Freddy for fun, and let him in on some of their schemes. They're hilarious, and he would have thought so before everything happened too, even if he did think they were a bit mean at times. I mean, rallying a bunch of kids to gang up on Freddy in their Fazerblast game as a 'super secret mission' is a touch mean, right? Not anymore. He deserves it.

But then they get to thinking. Bonnie wants to try messing with him too. They bring him in on some of their dastardly plans, and come up with several new ones for him, and believe me, at this time, not a single one of them has the braincell, so you can imagine the bullshit they come up with lmao. He finds this weirdly cathartic. The ability to moderately inconvenience Freddy in funny ways is more fun than he thought it'd be. He was worried it would hurt, worried it would make him think about things too much, and while it does hurt to look at him sometimes... Well his heart is more with his friends than ever now. He feels no desire to be nice to him, or to go back to how things were anymore. He's okay now and this is what makes that real to him...

Then one day it hits him. His own plan to mess with Freddy. Completely his own, the three stooges had nothing to do with this one. It hit him when he was hanging out with Protobear and DJ. What if they were fake dating in front of Freddy? Bonnie and Protobear! Madly in love, with the most sickeningly sweet pet names and the worst pick up lines you've ever heard in your life! DJ thinks that would be pretty mean... But would get him so good, he's a surprisingly petty guy sometimes. Protobear agrees and is completely up for this, it sounds hilarious, but... is Bonnie sure he's ready for that? Is he sure he can handle that?

They think on it a bit and talk to the others about it, who think that's fucking genius but have the same concerns as Protobear. Sunny thinks it's a bit much (and he's probably right) but is very excited to play along with this. He loves playing pretend, he's where Cassie gets it from. When they decide they're gonna do it, they set a few boundaries just in case, make a safe word for if they feel they start going too far with it, and swear to eachother to call it off if it all starts getting too much... Or maybe too real.

Oh my god they have so much fucking fun with it. Protobear has never laughed so hard in his life. The others joining in, helping them pull this off, and building on the joke too make it even more fun! They're having a blast and Freddy is suffering greatly! Customer service mode can't save him now!

But after a while, things start to change. Some of the flirting becomes a little too heartfelt. The insistence that they're not actually a thing becomes less frequent. The act starts to spill over into their everyday lives. Suddenly, they're not so sure this is still a joke anymore. Suddenly, the overdramatic cuddles last until long after Freddy has left the room. Suddenly, they're starting to wonder what it be like to be together for real.

Realisation hits and oh god oh no oh fuck this was NOT the PLAN god DAMN IT

So much fun to be had here!

One more funny one: instead of just Roxy or Bonnie pretending to be with Protobear, what if it's everyone? Protobear has one giant polycule going on where everyone apparently adores him and he dotes on everyone cause he loves them all so so so much. Freddy is staring in disbelief at the 'romantic' cuddle pile Protobear is right in the centre of like this is the most normal thing in the world. It's a Plex wide competition to see who can be the most insufferable in a fake relationship and whoever cracks first loses. It's a team effort! A coordinated attack! And sometimes they actually do fluster Protobear and eachother they're all having fun!

I'd like to call this plan the Protocule :)

(Also, hi jellycreamjammedart! This is the first post I've made today so you may wanna check I've not reblogged with more additions later on. I know you get online kinda late in my timezone, or at least that's when I tend to see you around, so saying this is just in case!)

#comedically torturing freddy is my favourite thing to do it's so funny #he has this massive grip on what emotions he displays it's like he's in permanent customer service mode sometimes #watching him struggle so hard is Roxy's favourite pass time lmao #long post #pop rox answers #OH GOD I'LL REBLOG WITH THIS ADDITION LATER TO MAKE SURE IT'S SEEN #BUT BONNIE ACCIDENTALLY USING THE PET NAME HE HAD FOR FREDDY IN PROTOBEAR #AND PROTOBEAR DOESN'T KNOW SO BONNIE FLINCHES EVER SO SLIGHTLY #WHILE PROTOBEAR TURNS TO LOOK AT HIM A BUT FLUSTERED BY THE NAME AND SMILES SO SWEETLY #BUT SO UNLIKE FREDDY AND BONNIE IS MELTING ABD OH GOD OH NO WAIT A SEC IS HE FALLING OH GOD OH NO #wait is this bullying? i feel like roxy would bully him but hmm. I'll have to think on that...#maybe it's the doors specifically that's suddenly bugging me #hmmmm i dunno. anyway #i love waking up to things that give me ideas dnjdjd #now imagine proto is zags the old freddy and the confusion is rising djdnjd #to be clear freddy is unaware most of this is just them fucking around #he's suspicious of a few things but not everything #they're all very sneaky about their crimes and the vast majority are harmless and just inconveniencing #very few of them actually want to hurt him but will mess with him a little from a distance if it's funny #they would all mess with eachother before hand they just weren't sneaky about it so the whole 'getting caught' thing is all that's really-#-changed. not for roxy though. she's always fucked around with freddy specifically as sneaky as possible #was just less often before now...#I'm wondering what the scenario is here btw. how did we get to a presumably open plex that freddy is a part of?#i feel like certain animatronics wouldn't let him through the fucking door again #hmmm anyway

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ankhisms · 9 months

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can i be emotionally vulnerable with you all in the torture dungeon

#anyway. keep feeling weird in a specific way but not really wanting to talk about it with anyone but also not talking about it makes it #feel like its crawling under my skin. and its not necessarily a bad feeling i just have a fucked up traumatized brain that makes #feeling things weird in general. i feel things so strongly or else im numb and outside my body and often struggle #with being super aware of myself because of this. where its also like im in survival mode constantly know and it can be easy #for me to go numb and not feel things or else be just going into panic panic panic hell freakout but beyond that it can be very hard #for me to identify feelings and such and having sat with this feeling its like. ok i think ive identified this but it feels #weird for me and i dont know what to do with this. should i do anything with this. probably not. and that carries its own #various baggage and relation to other issues im realizing i said i was going to be vulnerable but now i am just being very #vague about everything im saying. as you can tell i have problems and am noy good at being vulnerable #tldr feelings are weird. ive been feeling weird lately in specific ways that i dont know how to deal with but its not really bad but does #relate to certain issues i have with myself but idk really what to do besides just feeling it and letting it pass #but sometimrs iy has made me want to bang my head against a wall

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ferdydurke · 3 months

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Hmmm. I post about it a lot but rly annoying for me how i dont have an instinct to like message people and keep in contact. Like hmm. I feel like some times people are more lenient towards me about it bc it comes off as depression but even when im ok when i think like "i miss this friend" the next step is never "message them" for me. Idk its annoying as fuck

#barking #and esp since in not prone to missing ppl either usually its just kinda. hm we havent talked in a few months even tho we used to talk often #and my next thought is well all things pass. i hope they are well #its so annoying bc i know it doesnt count for anything how i feel...#but genuinely i also just kinda idk. dont like talking without purpose in general. so annyoning #when i have a relationship with someone where they do tell me a lot of things it feels like cooking without a recipe #like its fun but if i do it too often i will get stressed out

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mermaidsirennikita · 4 months

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The dichotomy between what's popular according to booktok (from what I've see) from the most blandest books imaginable to the most taboo erotica you can think of is kinda wild.

I think that what gets me with taboo books recommended by BookTok is that they're usually very poorly written. And if the writing is poor, you're not really getting the full "shock" value.

Like, when you read Sierra Simone's Thornchapel series, the scenes read as really intense because Sierra is an excellent writer. In contrast, a book like Hooked (that one dark romance~ modern Captain Hook book, a concept I was very open to and wanted to like, for the record) is very badly written. There's taboo content and a horrible hero, but like... It just reads juvenile.

I'm about 65% through A Kiss at Midnight by Anne Stuart, a historical romance that is QUITE dark, but the writing is frankly fabulous. Because Stuart can write, the darkness (which is not like, the corny "oh he's so bad he's in a motorcycle gang" torture sequence stuff--it's TRULY intense and pretty accurate for the era) is balanced out by emotional progression and honestly? A very dry, at times dark humor. If a lesser writer handled this plotline, it would just seem like shock factor after shock factor layered on just to get people talking. Very 2edgy4me.

And I'm gonna be really real here. Some fanfic authors are made to transition to actual published books. I think Ali Hazelwood writes a really solid contemporary romance. I really enjoyed You, Again by Kate Goldbeck, and that's based on a fic I actually read. The Hurricane Wars works as a book. (And mind you, let's not take away from the work the editors and authors did to rework fics into actual books here.)

Some fic authors are meant to stay fic authors and to excel at that. I personally think that one of the reasons why we have so many blaaand romance novels right now is that a) some of them are written by less-equipped fic authors trying to write real books and b) some of the authors have read less actual books than they have fics.

There are some tensely plotted, exciting fics out there. But personally? I think the standout nature of those fics--fics like Manacled, which... I think.... is not.... for me. However, bland it is not lol--makes people think that is the NORM for fic, when it's not. The norm for fic, and what I think a lot of more casual fic consumers and people who read more fic than they do books (compared to a lot of romance readers who turn to fic to supplement their reading habits) is very plotless slice of life stuff.

And that's not meant to be derogatory. It works, especially when you're writing about characters a lot of people know and love and are PROGRAMMED to know and love. Even if it's AU and they're basically other people, if you're writing a modern, sedate romcom about Katniss and Peeta and she mentions going to archery classes and Peeta being a baker, people are like aawwwww and they enjoy the nicely written scenes that are just people being people.

That.... ultimately creates a bland story when you're writing a book about original characters nobody has a preexisting investment in.

#romance novel blogging #lol idk sometimes i feel like fic gets this sweeping pass bc we're not supposed to critique the work #and not critiquing the work is fine i'm not here to tell y'all a thing someone is doing for free is bad when they don't want feedback #BUT... i think it's fair to critique the way fic has been uplifted and held on this pedestal compared to books #and EQUATED to books #which is my biggest complaint always #it's not better or worse it's different and if you think you can transition from fics to books #without reworking your products and your style #and frankly often putting a lot more work in #... idk man that's just so low effort and i personally think that's one reason why we see subpar books where nothing happens #they've always existed some people just do that lol but some of it i read and i'm like #this is like someone wrote a review 200k word fic about absolutely nothing changed the names and bit publish #(and another thing--one way you CAN tell there is a different type of work being done with fic is the wordcount dif #the standard for say a historical romance #which is often given more room traditionally in terms of word count than a contemporary romance #is 100k words #contemporaries often have landed between 80k-100k #then you have these 150k contemporaries and they're bloated as hell #but that wordcount is not unusual for fics #and fics are nORMALLY if edited at all being edited by amateur beta readers who do not professionally edit work #and often only look for typos or scene/character issues versus things like overarching plot and structural weakness #ADDITIONALLY! when you read a fic you're usually reading someone writing in real time #whereas if you are reading a well-done actual book you're reading someone's like... billionth draft that's been worked over by #multiple eyes. and i include indie in this bc the really good indie books have usually been professionally edited #on top of critique partners proofers etc)#ANYWAY. MY RANT.

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