#I really have a lot of feelings and thoughts about this way of localising if it wasn't apparent lol

[randomnameless]

I saw a thread that argued that you can't have translation without localization and that the latter is always going to be tied to/dependent of the culture of its target audience. What are your thoughts on that especially in relation to FE? I think with this context, 3H/3Hopes(or Nopes) was always going to be different/lolcalized to cater to the Western audience (specifically America and its zeitgiest).

Partly horseshit.

Of course a translation has bias from the person/state doing the translation, and this bias should be taken into account whenever you want to use the translation.

But think about an academic paper, it is not translated, thus localised for scientist Y from country W, it has to be accessible and understandable by every scientist who understands the language you're using.

The target audience is "scientists" but it doesn't mean the paper is modified to cater to a certain audience.

In a way, yeah, finding "equivalent" words is a form of localisation, since you won't find the perfect match, but if a perfect match exists (idk, like contract and the French contrat) I don't think it'd be localisation?

Some other notions/concepts are impossible to translate with a word from the language of the "targeted audience". A "baguette tradition" is a specific type of baguette, and can't be translated as bagel, or the mundane "bread".

So then what? If someone writes "baguette tradition", that person isn't translating, but if they define it later in a bubble or in a footnote, it is still part of a localisation process : to bring something unknown to a targeted audience.

In a way, yes, a translator and ultimately a localiser will always have their own biases, so each translation/localisation has to take it into account.

That being said...

I can understand the “difference” because of the translator/localiser’s bias, but not the “pandering to a specific audience”.

Like, I partly grew up in the 4Kids era, and here in France, we had old anime being, uh, brought to a french audience since, iirc, the 80s. French children (people?) at that time wouldn’t be able to watch a show meant for children if the character had unfrench sounding name like, uh, Ryo Saeba. So it was turned in Nicky Larson.

Joey Wheeler being the “lolcalised” form of Jonouchi Katsuya, because, I suppose, back then, some people really really think US/Western children wouldn’t watch a “cartoon” with un-occidental sounding names.

Usopp (wordplay on Uso meaning lie) became the french Pipo (pipeau means a shitty lie), okay it works as a kind of translation but, uh... no? Just no? Don’t translate names ffs?

I remember the Shaman King anime from 4Kids keeping the “un-occidental” names, and the ceiling was broken, iirc, with the anime versions of Naruto and Bleach. Of course we still had early dubs with “Fire Style” instead of “Katon”, but by the mid 2000s, the barn was open and lo, children (at least here in France, that’s what I can talk about) could listen and read japanese words without a “perfect” translation.

Where am I going?

Well, we went from a ban on anything sounding too “foreign” for a certain audience to accept those names/words for this same audience, because, well, I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure it must have come with a general need and desire to bring the audience something new -

The works weren’t catered to an audience, instead, the audience was brought in that work, in that work’s world and “foreign” culture (i am ashamed but i had my first ramen after watching/reading too much Naruto)

Bleach’s Zanpakuto became common, while the translated “Soul Cutter” (iirc that’s the one?) was never used. Rukia’s deference to her older brother and superiors wasn’t toned down because here in France we never had (afair?) so much formality between siblings, and yet, the localised Bleach materials, let it be anime or manga, kept it.

More mundane, but the senpai/kouhai thingie? 

Doesn’t exist here, and yet some works depicted it in it’s complicated mess, without needing to tuned it down to “cater to an audience” who’s not familiar with the concept.

----

Now, back to Fodlan...

Suggesting, in 2019, that a certain audience cannot “deal” with a story where a religious organisation is not evil incarnate and someone who starts a conflict based on the “the ends justify the means” might not be completely full of crap is, imho, downright insulting.

We had a lot of people, when FE16 was released, who argued about IS’s POV and if the “unification boner” was a thinly veiled nod to a certain country’s rising (?) nationalism...

But what about the lolcalisation? Is it only playing with preexisting biases or, idk, their whitewashing of an imperialist who fights against “irrationality” and a  religion to push her own values on countries she invades is supposed to be a nod at... something ?

For sure, this is a bad faith reading -

And yet, is it really complicated to have a story where a religious organisation that calls itself a church but is actually led by were-dragons who escaped a genocide and just try to help people around - is not the reason why the World is bad?

Take a certain movie that will not be aired in certain parts of the world because two women are holding hands - cultural norms, no matter what you think of them, commended the, idk, publishers not to release say movie in those countries.

What kind of similar thing exists in the “West” regarding... a religious organisation led by a dragon, and an emperor in red who wants to force their “ideals” by invading other countries? Imperialism good so let’s make it better? Religion BaD so lets highlight how it sucks?

And does it justify altering a game and the meaning of its quotes?

---

Tl; Dr : Translation and localisation always comes with a bias from the translator/localiser, because they are human beings who were raised in a certain culture and even if they try to be as neutral as possible, they cannot offer a work that is 100% true and matches the original.

That being said, we’re in 2022 now - and while FE14′s dub was an artifact (”Suzukaze? No, our audience is too stupid, let’s shorten it to Kaze instead! Tsubaki? No, Subaki sounds better!”) - I still believe a work shouldn’t be translated/localised to “cater” to an audience, people managed to understand Zanpakuto and Katon, I am pretty sure an audience can also understand that a fictional church led by a dragon is not the Catholic Church, or that religion isn’t an inherently “BaD” concept.

It’s merely my opinion as a consumer and part of the audience of the localised works - but I think I am open-minded enough and ready to engage with a fictional world and its fictional organisations, without needing to fall back on some preexisting biases or concepts I am familiar with. Of course that’s not to say things can look similar to real life issues (i said similar, forget your degrees) and we can’t reflect on that, but it’s always supposed to be a reflection, and not what the audience is engaging with or seeing first.

When you go to a Korean Restaurant, you don’t order mac’n’cheese or a jambon-beurre. Even if that’s what you usually eat. If you end up ordering something that looks and tastes like mac’n’cheese? Then good for you, but it’s not mac’n’cheese. You can’t expect a Koren Restaurant to serve you a jambon-beurre.

If you go there and they only serve you mac’n’cheese or jambon-beurre, what is even the point of going in this restaurant? Why are other customers served somethign else but I still have to eat the same thing I’m used to at home?

alas who am i to talk about those things, i have no degree

[decepti-thots]

☕ MTOs & specifically what do you think they were going for with that?

MTOs are an interesting narrative thing to me in the sense that they really are so localised to only one part of the canon; they're very clearly Roberts' idea and only really matter, inasmuch as they do matter, in MTMTE. It's pretty clear to me that's the case for one specific reason: they'd actually fit SUPER well into the narrative arc of exRiD, especially early-to-mid RiD, but they basically never come up! You'd think 'neutrals and soldiers stuggling to cohabit socially and politically' would be prime fodder (lmao) for taking advantage of a narrative about mechs born of and into war coming back to a civilian life on a planet they really don't know. And yet.

What they're doing in that comic, in MTMTE, is a little headscratching to me at times. It feels, to be honest, somewhat like worldbuilding put in to make the texture of the backstory of the war feel grander than IDW had really managed up to that point in actual on-panel stuff, without a lot of thought when doing so in the moment as to the knock on implications going forward. MTMTE does this a few times, tries to use vague gestures at important sounding stuff to bring a greater sense of history and depth to the war in the face of the actual stuff we saw in phase one being. Mmmm. Basically just twenty dudes we already know shooting at each other across parking lots. LMAO.

(Sidenote: I know for a fact Roberts watched original flavour nuWho, and this is PEAK Russell T Davies doing worldbuilding when he was on Doctor Who, and I fully believe he was cribbing from that playbook. Every damn episode RTD would make them just sort of say stuff about the Time War that made it sound incredibly vast and textured and complex but which, crucially, never made any actual fucking sense. Good examples of stuff like this would be the Crucible, the Simanzi massacre, etc. This is, to be clear, a neutral observation, not praise or criticism per se.)

I say this because MTOs should probably be a bigger deal in terms of the impact on our cast, and their outlook on life and reasons for joining the quest, than they wind up being. An MTO is a character with no experience of living in peacetime at all, likely no experience of Cybertron, no sense of kinship or home necessarily to the planet they came "back" to. All of this provides a really clear motivation, given the implication most surviving non-neutral Cybertronians are now MTOs due to huge numbers of deaths, to join a quest like the Lost Light's! But it tends not to come up much, and I think it's because it wasn't really part of the plan. Later on, there's room to slot in some details here and there- Riptide talking about his experiences with being infodumped at by the 'training' comes to mind- but it takes a while for the comic to come back round to that.

The two big exceptions, of course, are Getaway and Brainstorm. The idea is definitely interacting with their characters more, though again, it... tends to come up later. Especially for Getaway, who I'm not convinced was originally conceived as an MTO, but had it slotted in a bit later as 'well that works' stuff tbh. (And it does, so that's fine!) Which leaves Brainstorm, who lies about being forged to throw off suspicion, who it's implied never got the time of day from Quark in a way I wouldn't be surprised we're supposed to assume is some kind of remaining bias, perhaps. Who didn't see a future for himself 'back on Cybertron' and so concocted a very weird plan to avoid having to. Who never got a choice about his 'side' in the war, and wound up with no real loyalty for anyone.

I think if there's any avenue I'd have liked to see more about MTOs via, it's Brainstorm. I wish there'd been more room to focus on that instead of (I'm so sorry shippers) his thing with Perceptor as the way to talk about his sense of inadequacy, tbh. What did it feel like, lying to Chromedome about remembering a pre-war life he never got a chance to experience? Being made to shoot people and be shot and escaping the fate of having that be the only thing he ever knew by the skin of his teeth? Not being able to imagine an end to the war, so all he wants to do is save one guy and run off with him as a pipe dream? That seems like the character where a lot of this stuff should naturally lie, to me. And I think it's a shame I've seen very little talk in fandom about it!

[hailsatanacab]

Are you still doing the wip ask game? If so, can i ask about number 5?

I love this one and I'm so embarrassed that it's still a wip oh no!!!! This should have been completed a long time ago to celebrate hitting 1,000 followers but uh... it sorta snowballed into way more than I thought it would and this cute little oneshot is now way more than that. Whoops.

It started as a @stealingyourbones prompt that I added on to, which you can read here! Then I posted a wee little wip wednesday sneak peek, and this snippet (is it still a snippet if it's over 1k words?) carries on from there :)

👻🦇👻

Danny doesn’t join him for what is, unexpectedly, a pretty great meal.

“Holy shit, you guys,” he murmurs, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "You’re missing out.”

“Come on, Jay, it can’t be as good as the Big Bat Deluxe.” Dick whines in his ear. “You love those.”

“No, I love the Red Hot Hood Bites. That’s all I get at Bat Burger, and don’t let me hear you telling the others that I get anything else.”

“Please, Jason, don’t think we don’t have everyone’s BB order on file, who do you think you’re talking to?”

“Fuck off, Timbits. Go eat at Red Robin.”

“Hey, fuck you!”

Jason elects to tune out the ensuing list of threats in favour of finishing his burger. He’s heard them all before and he’s like 80% sure that Tim won’t actually hide his body in a Red Robin—if only because it wouldn’t take the World’s Greatest Detective to figure out who did it and he'd be so deep in the fucking shit that he may as well join Jason.

Aside from the food (seriously, that sauce! He’s going to need to rustle up a copycat or something, he can’t leave here without a recipe), the Nasty Burger is a pretty sad affair.

It’s a little run down, the vinyl covers on the seats peeling and suspiciously sticky, and incredibly quiet. The only other people around are the two teens behind the counter, bored and on their phones, and two kids, probably around Danny’s age, sitting in the corner quietly arguing amongst themselves. There’s an ungodly amount of food in front of them, but only the guy seems to be eating.

Jason sighs and looks at the rapidly cooling Supremely Nasty Meal meant for Danny. Taking a few of the fries won’t hurt, will it?

He peels the paper bag away from the greasy mess and digs in. Huh, they really skimped on his lot, there’s only like half a carton in here.

“So, you gonna bring us back something or are we going to have to starve?”

“Haven’t decided yet.”

“What a shame,” Timbo starts, with a theatrical air, “for I am still trying to decide whether or not to tell you everything I’ve learnt about the Fentons. Perhaps we could come to some sort of arrangement?”

“You finally made yourself useful and got through those firewalls?”

“Yeah, once I managed to get my hands on a native laptop. It’s weird, but whatever was keeping out my tech lets anything bought directly from Amity in. Having such localised security—to the point where even my stuff can’t penetrate?— is beyond strange. I don’t like it.”

Jason leans back, and reaches for Danny’s milkshake, finding it surprisingly light when he lifts it up. Seriously, what is with the half portions here? He turns round and glares at the spotty teen behind the counter, who doesn’t look up from his phone. Whatever. It's not like Danny’s going to drink it anyway.

Looks like the two kids in the corner have made up, if their stifled laughter is anything to go by. Most of their own food is gone now, too, so perhaps the real reason it’s called the Nasty Burger is because they stiff you on the food.

“This place is weird.” says Dick, in a rare case of being right.

“You don’t know the half of it…” Tim sighs but doesn’t offer up anything else.

Jason’s been trying his best to ignore it.

The weirdness, that is.

There’s an electrical charge in the air so strong it almost feels like he’s swimming through static. Each breath makes his steps bounce like he’s walking on the moon. If he turns too quickly, if he stands up too fast, his head spins like he's breathing too much oxygen.

No matter what Tim thinks he knows, it’s not the full weirdness of Amity Park, Jason's sure about that. Being here itches under his skin, and he resolves not to delve any deeper into it. Not with the way the green swims on the edges of his vision. 

The sooner they figure out what’s happening here, the better.

“What’s your price?” 

“Two Supremes and a six pack of Nasty Nuggies. Cake shake with two shots of espresso.”

Jason rolls his eyes as Dick splutters in concern.

“Shake and espresso? Tim, you have a problem.”

“It’s just a frappuccino. There’s no difference.”

“Then get a frappuccino.”

“I want a shake.”

“Then there's a difference! And the difference is that Alfred will kill us for enabling you!”

“As riveting as watching Timberly’s mental and physical wellbeing disappear before our very eyes is, what’s your info?”

“The same for me, please!” Dick butts in, yet again. “Except with a coke instead, because I’m normal.”

Both Tim and Jason snort. 

“Yeah, not gonna touch that. Tim, info, come on.”

“Alright, alright. Hey, so, what’s your favourite thing about being adopted?”

“Tim, I swear to God, if you don’t get to the point right now, I’ll—”

“You’re right! It’s that none of us are actually related to you.”

“And yet somehow, I’m still stuck with you all. Point, Tim, get to it.”

He grabs the burger meant for Danny and begins to unwrap it. If he has to listen to Tim being all smug about whatever he’s found out, he’s doing it with a burger in hand.

“Did you know that Willis Todd’s Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandfather was a Nightingale?”

“What’s a Nightingale? Aside from the obvious.”

“A Nightingale is about two generations away from becoming a Fenton.”

“Oh, what the fuck? You cannot be serious!”

“Serious as a cake shake with two espressos in it.”

“No, my… Someone ate my other fucking burger!”

Danny’s burger has a huge, bite-sized chunk taken out of it. Literal teeth marks in the bun. A slice of tomato slops limply onto the table, painting his shirt with splatters of weak tomato juice, the red half moon taunting him. Sauce dribbles out mournfully.

The two kids in the corner are staring openly now, faces red with how hard they’re laughing.

Jason sinks into his chair with a groan.

This fucking town. 

Is this how they treat outsiders? Take bites of their burgers while they laugh on—but then why only do it to his spare and not both meals? The teenagers behind the counter aren't even paying any attention, so why bother pulling a prank like this if you're not going to—

Danny.

Jason whips his head around as if he can catch the invisible little shit, but just like on the street, there's no sign of him.

Has he been here the whole time, invisibly eating the food Jason offered him? Except the packaging was still perfectly wrapped, the sticker still attached, how in the hell had he managed to eat the burger without damaging it? Did he get to it in the kitchen? Or does he—

“Wait, hold up. What the fuck did you just say?”

[dajaregambler]

indefinite hiatus

Howdy doody.

This may seem as a sudden notice, but it is not to me. It is a matter that I have thought about many times, over and over again. On the other hand, I have also tried to ignore it in the hopes of it going away. Obviously, that did not work out.

Back during my trip to Japan, I had rekindled my love for the Japanese language and it is still strong as ever. In fact I have decided to pursue it academically so that I can continue to work with it, ideally in localisation. After the struggle I had with school that felt like it lasted an eternity, I was quite proud of myself to pick up from where my attempt at university in 2018 to 2020 left me off. 

But that’s not what I’m here to talk about. It is actually a similar sort of situation I found myself in earlier this year.

What I’m doing right now… is it fun?

Helios Rising Heroes was a pick me up in 2020. I had lost my drive for Japanese after giving up on academics, and seeing how Keith and Brad interacted made me curious about their story. I went further in the world of HeliosR, and before I knew it I was enamored with it. So much so that I felt compelled to share this love, to let people know the charms of these characters. I started out with translating content of my favorite character, then to the whole sector, eventually other characters and so on. It was a challenge, and that challenge helped me grow in many ways.

However somewhere down this road, I kept battling this one question: who am I doing this for? I thought for myself, but it wasn’t. It became a responsibility to fill in the gaps. I did not care about North at all, yet seeing that one Halloween event stay untranslated the entire time bothered me, so I picked it up myself and hey, it worked out. North Sector is one of my fave sectors now, but that’s what became an issue. I started picking up too much to do, for the sole sake of it being translated. I didn’t limit myself because moderation is a word that didn’t exist to me back then. Even now it sort of doesn’t, but I like to think I’ve gotten better at it.

Another issue is that I love Helios, I really, really do. It means a lot to me, but translating it is actively ruining it for me at the same time. I feel the need to step away and enjoy it without feeling responsible, but I also feel guilty for thinking so. I have stuff I started and need to finish. And that’s where I found myself stuck at a stalemate, almost to the point of ignoring Helios and I don’t want that. I had fun earlier this year translating the new West sector event, and all of chapter two of SITD, but it was short lived. I went right back to that stalemate that had been haunting me.

The combination of biting off more than what I can chew, with halfhearted feelings behind it, is what leaves me dull. There is no “fun” to be had. 

I will say what I said earlier this year, about a different project I translated at the time: 

“Is it that serious? That I’m dropping a series that I have translated? No, probably not. Happens all the time, I’m sure there are others waiting in line to continue what I was doing, or maybe not. Who knows.

But to me, it is, and that’s why I wanted to convey it in a long hefty post.

As closure, I will share some words of one of my favourite manga. Something I live by, and will for as long as possible.

“The world is filled to the brim with nice things… and all of them are carrying someone’s intentions and feelings.

When those feelings get across and manage to make someone happy… I gain little pieces of confidence,

that I’ll gather together and carry with me as I move on.”

And I believe something like that, is only achievable when you do something that is fun, to you.”

This isn’t the end, it never is. However for me to move on, to find joy again, I have to say it like this. Perhaps one could say I am a fan of theatrics in this regard. 

For now, and the unforeseen future, I simply want to step back from translating Helios Rising Heroes. Focus on truly mastering Japanese (my conversational skills are as abhorrent as they could be) and perhaps even study abroad. Not only that, but find fun in Helios again, by simply enjoying it without feeling a responsibility nagging at me every single waking moment I think about this series. It’s a bit of a shame to leave things here when I haven’t finished chapter 3 of SITD, but I think this is the best choice for me, going forward.

Once again, thank you for reading this post and my translations. Thank you for being able to find enjoyment in Helios Rising Heroes through my translations. This blog will stay up as an archive and will not be going anywhere.

As I said, it is not the end of the road for me. I will perhaps be around on another ventures regarding translations, and we might cross paths once more. And hopefully said ventures do not include a repetition of past mistakes. I am positive it won't though.

One day, I may or may not come back to this either, but for now it is atleast a farewell. 

またね！

p.s (Imagine I said "farewell" with a wink, two sparkles, and rose being thrown in the air as I made my dramatic exit into the horizon while the amber sun sets.)

[idontknowreallywhy]

Estera Ch 4 - Thunderbird

(Prologue, Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3)

From here on ignore anything I say about future chapter length because somehow this one ended up longer still… but slightly too many words better than no words, right?

I need to work out how to properly tag this but there are… events of an unpleasant nature in E’s early adult life during the war which won’t ever be described but will be implied at various points and are a little more strongly implied here than they have been so far. As I say, there will never be anything graphic or in any way detailed but if the hint that there was something in the past is going to cause you a problem please dodge. I considered writing it out completely but it would involve rewriting a lot of how her character develops and I just couldn’t make it work.

Right, I’ll get on with dropping stuff on Scott…

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Thankfully the collapse was a short lived and highly localised one. Although the shockwave of each chunk of rock slamming into his back and helmet shuddered through his ribs and down his spine, it didn’t hurt too badly so it was unlikely much damage had been done. The suit had done its job - Brains really was a genius.

What was much more worrying was the way the teacher had gone entirely limp and collapsed on top of the two children she was shielding. Had a stray bit of debris hit her? Her helmet had slipped to one side but he was sure he’d covered her head… the movement of rock seemed to be slowing but it was too soon to move yet. Transferring his weight to one arm he flipped open the visor on his helmet and dragged his glove off with his teeth. He felt for a pulse while still sheltering her and the kids as best he could from the last few stray pebbles. There it was… and she seemed to be breathing slowly.

Ok. Right, ok.

He patted the shoulders of the two figures huddled beneath their teacher and called out some generically reassuring phrases to the other kids, told them to keep calm and still… then suppressed a grunt of pain as one last heavy shard came away and caught his neck and shoulder at an acute angle, tearing through the fabric of his suit. No longer able to support himself with the one arm, he braced with the other and bit back a bitter curse at the thought of how his brothers were going to react to this. Couldn’t he have at least got through one rescue without an injury to distract them with? Just one? His helmet lights flickered and went out.

A metallic pop then the fizz of static told him his comm connection was also probably a goner. It was beginning to feel distinctly less like a jazz hands kind of day.

He waited a couple more seconds to ensure nothing else would fall then with a slight grimace pushed himself up and gently rolled the teacher away from the shocked kids and into the recovery position. Her vitals were fine and from his brief torchlit inspection he couldn’t see or feel any head injury… maybe with the shock of everything she’d just fainted? Her forehead was furrowed which was… unusual. He shook her shoulder a little, she tensed her jaw but otherwise no response. Something told him to leave her be for a while.

He helped the kids up and checked them over. The rest of the class, seemingly frozen in shock up to now, suddenly rushed forwards towards their unconscious teacher. The flow of calming words continued without any conscious thought or effort as he persuaded her charges to back away a little and give her some room. She’d wake up soon. Her brain was just making her have a little rest after being so brave. She was ok, he promised. The sticky feeling progressing down his back was a reminder that he needed to keep the kids in front of him, no need to freak them out any more. He shifted so that his back was towards the wall and smiled round at them all. In a ploy to distract, he started asking them their names and favourite dinosaurs given that was clearly a topic of interest.

The two children the teacher had been sheltering were shaky but unharmed. One had snuck closer again and was gently stroking her hair. Well he’d turn a blind eye to that. The rest of the class… less so.

“Astraaaaa! Mr Scott said you have to keep away from Miss H so she can wake up slowly! It’s not fair!” Jeff’s fury at the injustice was potent.

“But I want to help!” Glistening eyes appealed to him in the dim light.

Scott cast his mind back to wrangling Gordon and Alan at this age. He just needed to get them working together somehow… he hoped he wouldn’t live to regret his next suggestion.

“Sometimes singing to somebody in a deep sleep can help. Do you guys know any songs she might like?”

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The voices of young children singing faded into her field of hearing, distant and strange in timbre as if she was underwater. She tensed, remembering the taunts and harsh laughter that had immediately preceded the darkness. Had they gone? She held her breath. It…seemed so? There was singing and they’d never have allowed that. The mocking, hateful voices had been replaced by a more melodious one and she became aware of a gentle hand patting the side of her jaw. Opening her eyes she saw Blue frowning down at her.

No! No it wasn’t safe for him here!

She gasped and scrabbled backwards whereupon she was surrounded by little arms and worried voices and she wasn’t There at all but with the kids and they were all… where…?

She blinked dazedly for a moment then it finally came flooding back and she tried and failed to find her voice to reassure them all.

At least six of them began talking at a mile a minute and any contribution from her turned out to be unnecessary, so she released a breath slowly and allowed the wave of chatter to wash away the sense of horror and revulsion prickling at her skin. Why had she passed out? The flashback had been hazy, but the eyes had been so vivid. She stole a glance at the man using his foot to shift the larger pieces of rubble to the side of the cave.

Of course it hadn’t been Him. It was just the International Rescue guy. Who probably now thought she was pretty pathetic not to mention rude.

“And you dived over to save them just like a superhero, Miss! And then Mr Scott superheroed right on top of you AND Astra AND Bee but he didn’t fly you away or anything and the wall fell all over you and it was really really scary and Rozi screamed right in my ear but you weren’t dead and Mr Scott told us we shouldn’t all sit around and poke you so we sat over here, except Astra didn’t which really annoyed Jeff and then we sang to you did you like that?”

Xanthe paused for breath and Estera took the opportunity to stem the tide of information by thanking them all for the update and asking if everyone was ok. Again. As if the question made any difference. None of them were ok. How was any of this ok? She shoved down the bubble of despair that was lurking in her windpipe.

One of the torches flickered out.

The rescuer looked up and suggested they should turn off half the torches for now. There was the traditional excited squealing as the cave got darker but there was still enough light to see each other by.

Now what?

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If he was honest, the look of absolute terror on her face had thrown him a little. He couldn’t quite rationalise it with the circumstances and it had felt quite… personal somehow, as if she wasn’t just scared but specifically scared of… him? That didn’t make any sense though. All the same he figured it wouldn’t do any harm to give her some space.

So he tidied away the fragments of rock because, well, the kids needed as much safe open floor space as possible. And he needed to do… something. He glanced over at the small oxygen tank and tried to calculate how much time had passed since his last contact with John and Virgil. They’d said half an hour. Must be coming up on that now. He hoped fervently that nothing had gone wrong, that whatever had caused the earth slip here in the cave hadn’t endangered his little brother too.

He took it back. Being out of contact with his brothers was hell. He’d take another month of smothering over this silence. Maybe two.

Maybe he had to admit that he hadn’t been ready. Something had set him on edge and he didn’t think it was the cave in, or the declining oxygen situation. There was something else wrong. What was he missing? Maybe if he was fit, he’d know but today… he cursed his fuzzy brain. The atmospheric sensor in his suit told him it was on the edge of too warm down here now but he was shivery and there were shadows at the very limits of his vision that didn’t line up with the positions of the torches…

He shifted his aching shoulder awkwardly. Ow. Oh! Blood loss! Oh! Maybe it was that. Hopefully it was just something as simple and easily fixed and could-happen-to-anyone as bleeding a little excessively and going wobbly at the edges. Somewhat relieved, and with not insignificant effort he returned his attention to the kids who had begun another passionate debate about something or other. At least they were no longer singing THAT song…

In an effort to get out of doing the actions, he’d had to pretend not to know Baby Shark… Ha! As if he’d had a chance to escape that one with a toddler Gordon in the house…

“TWO IS THE STRONGEST!”

“THREE CAN GO TO THE MOON!”

Hello? Scott perked up. This sounded more like his area.

“THREE IS RED WHICH IS THE BESTEST COLOUR! I’M RIGHT!”

“TWO PUTS OUT FIRES!”

He couldn’t help a quiet chuckle when one of them, he thought it might be Rozi, declared that Thunderbird 3’s pilot was the cutest and that she was going to marry him. Best start running, Allie.

“TWO CAN GO UNDERGROUND!”

Huh?

Outraged squawking resulted which the teacher shushed with a single raised hand. The conversation proceeded at a slightly lower volume.

“Two can’t go underground. You need a mole pod for that”

“Well you can’t have a mole pod without Two. OR Thunderbird Four. Or anything useful. Two carries all the things.”

“THUNDERBIRD TWO HAS POCKETS!” Astra stood and punched the air.

“So does my mum’s handbag, that doesn’t make it COOL.”

Scott barked out a laugh “I’ll tell him you said that.”

Eleven pairs of eyes snapped towards him.

“Which is your favourite Thunderbird, Mr Scott?”

Truthfully? Right now he’d quite like to get an eye-full of green cahelium, but this was a matter of principle.

“One, of course.”

There was a pause while the children considered. Reuben even put his fist to his jaw and gazed upwards in silent contemplation.

“One can go twenty times the speed of sound.” Piped up Sam.

Scott cringed “Uhhhh, well… nineteen times.”

“Why not twenty?”

“It’s just the way she is. After that it gets a bit… explodey.” Scott was sure Brains would back him up on that technical term…

Another pause.

“Well that’s still pretty fast.”

“Yeah but One is tiny and can’t carry a whole lake of water!”

They all turned to their teacher.

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Estera had thus far masterfully avoided coming down on either side of the argument, convinced that the devoted fans on the opposing side would never forgive her. She was saved from further dodging by a popping noise and a loud hiss:

“Thunderbird Two to Thunderbird One, I am on approach to your location, eta 15 minutes. Do you read?”

The blue-eyed operative - somehow she couldn’t make his name stick in her mind - half raised his right arm then switched to the left, tapped the logo on his uniform and answered, a hint of formality layered over his lighthearted, friendly way of speaking.

“F.A.B. Thunderbird Two, great to hear your voice. Had a minor additional fall down here earlier but we’re all ok.”

There was a little ‘something’ in his voice that the man on the other end clearly noticed too.

“All of you?”

“Absolutely fine, Virgil”

She frowned and cleared her throat.

“Your colleague is favouring his left arm, suspect some damage to his right shoulder or ribs on that side when the debris fell on him”

A deep sigh over the comm.

“Thanks, don’t let him make it worse.”

Mr Friendly-Voice spluttered.

“Et tu, Brute?”

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[pepplemint]

do you have thoughts on the potential harm the plants could go through in post trimax universe regarding their exploitation or whatever ((and how knives’ death is a negative aspect in it))

I love your posts on knives soso much btw he’s my baby and I love seeing someone else appreciate him just as much. and I was curious about this considering I was pissed to no end regarding knives’ “ending”

Aaaaah thank you for indulging me in my delusions about Knives 😽😽 To be fair I guess he was doomed from the moment Wolfwood was for the sake of parallels and all that, but it's nicer to imagine the story ended on the second to last chapter instead ;v;

To be honest I think it's really hard to say because we know so so little of what happens after the final we can only speculate. The Earth Federation has provided Gunsmoke with a whole bunch of new things that make life easier and safer, hopefully meaning they are no longer reliant on plants for everything and might be able to use the plant output power for terraforming and creating a self-substaining world.

But! The way Chronica and her shipmates talks about herself/independent plants on earth... I can't be the only one that gets the feeling she had a lot of internalised plantphobia (making up new words here) that reflects the world she's from. Earth comes with more knowledge about plants/independents but with what I'm sure is a whole new history of oppression, stereotypes and dehumanisation that will clash with the newly won understanding.

Close to all the plants on the planet are merged together in this giant plant bulb. I'm not sure what that means for power output, how far they can send that power (probably not far on their own means but with Earth to help they might be distributing that power across higher distances) or does it mean only Octovern have power? In that case Gunsmoke is likely to have a very localised human settlement going forward (refugees of the larger cities had already been moving to Octovern or dying from exposure/thirst/starvation since losing their plants, but smaller settlements seems to have been better off, probably because they were already used to living sparsely without a plant and had storages. Those storages will still be depleted and then it depends on how easily and if they can be filled up again)

Either way I think it's going to be hard to overwork this giant mass the same way individual plants have been, not while also factoring in that Earth can help with resources + much smaller population. On the other hand it is also very hard to humanise when it looks like that. The current generations that have had physical contact are not a problem, but future generations quickly forget, as we see over and over again in human history.

Knives was the only active defense the plants had, they chose to give that up. Which means their only defense is the passive one of Vash and the earth independents which we have established have a lot of internalised baggage that might interfere with their roles as interpreters.

It's not hard to imagine there will still be issues of consent and questions of morality, like how much is it worth to save a plant (if it can't even be of use to humans) and should plants have a say in how much and how their energy output is used? How much can you really trust a plant when they have such destructive power? Like how all independents on earth have a chip implanted in their brain (presumably young), which is all kinds of fucked up the more you think about it. That's just what we know about too.

If things take a turn south again, there is no one (but Vash, barely) that has the ability to even stand a chance to protect themselves. We don't even know the extent of control earth has forced onto independents. Just that they're clearly still seen as below humans.

[chesthighwater]

sidenote i just finished return of the obra dinn and am feeling a little insane. random bits from my playthrough (AND SPOILERS) under the cut.

no seriously you all know i'm very pro-spoilers that is my ideology but this is one of the rare pieces of media where even i say "yeah no you have to go in blind". so. if you think you might want to play it, go do that now.

OKAY ANYWAY

maba was one of the very first people i identified (after the captain-abigail-hoscut tutorial trio) via his tattoos [so i also avoided the whole "where's my frenchman" misdirection that got a lot of people] and so i developed a sort of camaraderie towards him for no reason. like, i'd walk into some absolute carnage, no idea who anyone is, trying to find my footing, and then i'd see him and be like "HEY THERE'S MABA! THERE'S MY GUY!". a friendly face in a sea of strangers. thank you maba my early game anchor.

brennan took me way longer than he should have- i had him pinned as someone else via accent due to a misattributed voiceline- but like everyone else i too felt very smart when i noticed his shot in the execution scene. good call on the game's part for not tackling the uh Philosophical Implications of firing squads.

THE MIDSHIPMEN. GOD. thomas is my favourite, obviously. regarding peter's death, i initially just assumed he missed/misjudged the powder throw due to being in an adrenaline fight or flight "OH GOD OH GOD GET IT OFF ME" situation. like, he was hoping to aim it lower, or elsewhere in hopes of injuring the kraken and getting it to let go, and just missed. if you've ever been in a near death Must React Fast situation you know it's not exactly rational thinking and precise flawless action you just do the thing. but then i read a theory that he lit the powder before he was grabbed, and then he forgot about it (on account of actively being grabbed), and by the time thomas noticed the lit powder it was too late. i quite like that interpretation. anyway, why is no one making them gay? must i do everything myself?

oh also! thank fuck for the glossary because i am Not an age of sail person. i think i have like... below average knowledge of ships. i stepped onto the deck like "hmm what the fuck is a bostun". why did anyone hire me for this investigation. i'd have to spend significantly more time googling if i didn't have the option to flip through the book every time i realise i don't know what a purser is. i'd really love to play this game with someone who actually knows their shit, it would be fascinating hearing how someone well-versed in the subject interprets the little details.

of course i also went through the initial "how the fuck am i supposed to figure any of this out" hitch, but once i got the right gameflow down it was a BREEZE. so incredibly fun. what i did was essentially decide on someone i want to figure out, bookmark all their memories, and just go through them in order observing that person, who they're with and what they're doing... those mini personal investigations were the most fun part for me.

immediate post-game heartache, by the way. as soon as i finished i thought "man, i wish this game was procedurally generated so i could replay it" IMMEDIATELY followed by "no, with the amount of attention to detail? impossible. this is a piece of art. handcrafted. an Experience. man i wish i could go back in time so i can replay it"

i had time to flip through some of the localisations as well and they were shockingly good (with only very minor inaccuracies that i noticed), and i know for a fact that that was no easy task. even beyond that, any gripes i have with this game are EXTREMELY minor. nitpicky. i'm not even gonna say them they're that insignificant. it's just an excellent game.

also i never noticed the mermaids have Three Pairs Of Boobs until i read the wiki

anyway. people i accidentally guessed correctly: peters brothers, two of the four chinese topmen (actually figured out the shoes trick for the other two!), george shirley. people i identified wrongly for way too long: brennan, martin, olus wiater, nicholas botterel (?sp). most fun had: when reconstructing an individual person's journey through all the memories they appear in. figuring out where they went and when and how and why they got there.

in conclusion talk to me about this game if you also played it okay i love you bye

[emptylotfiasco]

my review for yakuza 1 on the ps2 it is a really good game. you should play it forever and ever. i will probably replay it one day or like get round to finishing kiwami cause it was really fun i had a lot of fun with it <3 the minigames are cool and the substories are good and the localisation is funny and worth experiencing for urself but it also like its not a haha play this game cause its so bad its fun it is acutally a good game and i liked it a lot. 10/10 ten million thoughts under the cut

first of all minigames love in heart massage parlour my favourite it is very funny. talking to prostitutes minigame is fun i completed all of them. almost. haruka cock blocked me for one of them. baseball is good it turns me into the devil sometimes but i like it. gambling. suprisingly not that bad everytime i had to do it. i wish they would have let me skip the 60 second long roulette animation because i know that is not real. crane game. AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! moving on. slot machines. sucked but thats okay idgaf they should have figured out not to put it in subsequent games though. colliseum yeah i did it it was fine pretty typical.

substories were good i did almost all of them excepttt i missed the casino royale one because i progressed the main story too far rawr </3 oh i didnt finish the gangbusters either because i run away from random encounters as much as i can. so i also didnt fight amon. but i like how maybe because ps2 limitations and resource limitations substories were super short and simple. i think in kiwami it was mixing the longer formatted substories with what were originally very basic premises and it didnt work for me. it is what made the substories feel like a slog to me in the remake. but in this game it is easier to gaf about a simple substory when it doesnt take that long to complete. the original game had a lot of the funny ones the one where you give tissues to a guy who ran out of toilet paper in the public bathroom and the one where kiryu picks up a dead guys phone and follows every instruction given to him by a complete stranger until he is eventually hired to kill himself. and the one where tghe guy makes kiryu get all the toys from the crane machine for his sugar baby. and the one where kiryu has to talk a guy down from suicide. and there were ones that werent funny but i still liked like that one with the street artist because I thought it was cool how you can use items from that substory to complete other substories and that one really long chain of substories that takes you all over the map.

Unmm jingu is a shitty villain but I think that has been knew. I thought the story and the way it unfolded was really good until the very last few chapters where the government stuff really kicked in. I did know most of the story already but like. Some parts I liked were helping the counterfeiters at the hostess club and them saying they did a forgery for kazama 5 years ago. The body of the fake mizuki being explained by a a copycat bar that was trying to capitalise on Ares success having someone pretend to be mizuki and that person getting killed. I thought that was cool and interesting I like this level of detail in my weirdly complex crime drama plotlines. I think it was funny that he was voiced by Robert atkin downes. i liked haruka trust meter i thought it was so cute i liked increasing it by buying her things. I think Yumi is interesting and Reina <333 Reina <33 Reina <3 lalalalala Reina <3 kazama. nishiki wasn't interesting but like I've played yakoza 0 so like I know he is so it's fine. Sera... Idgaf like I kind of gaf but not really. I think maybe because the only involvement he had was the jingu stuff and jingu sucks so. That one guy that tortured kiryu. Actually that is an interesting part of his character that I have heard surprisingly little about. Who else. Oh yeah shinji. Anyways. Who else.

Majima category oh yeahhh Majima oh yeah . Majima was awesome because Majima is alsways awesome. People like to say wow can you imagine playing Yakuza 1 on the ps2 and thinking that one day people are gonna want to bone Majima. That must be so crazy so insane. My asnqwr is that you're not a real Majima fucker. I've always wanted to fuck him. I've alwayyysss wanted to fuck him. I was there from the start. And I want to fuck mark hamilljima too. There is no shame in this. I don't care how many polgyons he has the sleazy bpd princess with the steel tipped shoes leather pants snakeskin jacket eye patch knife bat and tits out is a monument to sex. When he threatens that one sex worker and he's like so what do you say you wanna be my bitch I'm like ohhhh do I. plus the whole point og his appeal is that hes kind of ugly. he was pretty in yakuza 0 because they gentrified him that is not the real majima. look at his ugly ass hair cut. hes fourty yhears old and a bowlcut on his head. So if you do nat wanna bone him then you cannot be trusted and I'm the only one allowed to fuck him sorry that's the rules. I swear I was going to actually write a review part here I don't know what happened. I'm just gonna move on.

the localisation is my favourite part of the game i really love how comically vulgar it is it gives me the same enjoyment factor as the silly writing from yakuza 0. it made the game very interesting and i would miss it dearly if it wasnt there. i liked it when kiryu said are you retarded or just deaf. and when yuya said look at you fuckhead. and when kiryu said i did have the urge to hit some balls today. seems like yours are gonna have to do. and when he said step the fuck up its time to die. i loved ten years in the joint fight. come on fucker bring that shit kazuma ten years in the joint made you a fucking pussy it made me say its kiryu time and i kiryued all ovedr the millenium tower. the delivery made everything really funny and like ueah it undercut the dramatic moments but it also made me like enjoy the finale scene with jingu because i kept laughing at everything everyone said so i think there was a net benefit. there was two scenes where i thought the english dub delivery made things funnier on purpose. one was where kiryu took haruka to the bath house and he was like its take your daughter- its a social studies field trip and the one scene where date was like lets break open the amulet and reina and haruka were like NO!! and he was like haha nevermind just kidding. and the one where kiryu explains what a bath house is to haruka was funny too. i love this va i think like. as strange as the action hero deep voice is for kiryu when u have not expereinced this game hes also so sooooo awkward. so awkward. and it wraps around to sounding very kiryu. cause like that kind of is him like hes intimidating but hes also awkward and autistic and doesnt know what a cell phone is or how to babysit a child so he lets her gamble away all his savings. by the way his ps2 model has very beautiful eyelashes.

OH YEAH. i like the combat. sorry. i forgot about the central gameplay mechanic of the whole game i got distracted. like of course it is clunky its a playstation 2 game. but it also was really fun <3 i especially liked. i forgot his name but the moveset of that guy that is like the captain of the nishikiyama family is kind of sick and it was cool to fight against. the combat in this game is the exact mixture of satisfying and so frustrating makes me want to rip the skin off my face and eat it that i love. kiwami is also like this. and i liked how short andd snappy the heat action animations were not to say i prefer them but just that like. i guess it made the fights feel fast paced and it felt just as good to do them as the overly animated ones. i liked how even hough some guys had huge healthbars fighting them didnt take ten million kajillion billion years. WAIT but fuck the komaki training i couldnt even complete it cause it was too hard. that was fucked up they were fucked up for that.

i really liked the style of this game i liked the art and i liked the models and. i looked at some of these cutscenes in a very damnn that looks good kind of way. that one post that is like ps2 is peak aesthetic is so true cause it looked really nice at times.

okay the end. do not expect anyone to read this becuse i said it all for myself. i wish i did get round to making the html copy of kiryus blog work cause that is probably where id ramble about yakuza. but i hate java script and also i dont care. so tumblr post.

[rokso-o]

@blueteller this is my sideblog so i couldn’t reply instead 😣 eng isn’t my first language so i hope my explanation will be understandable 😭😭😭 so sorry in advance if it’s not very nuanced. (also i had to like doubletake cause you replied to my post and i thought you were calling me a smartass and a jerk who doesn’t know what they’re talking about 😭⁉️ i literally am so dumb................ [a moment of silence] i was like damnnnn i know im no professional and only translate for... fun?? but i know a little bit jdkdjdkjfkfkff im so sorry unless YOU ACTUALLY ARE CALLING ME ONE???)

i already explained this whole thing multiple times from the reblog from op to couple answered asks about it but yes! but i do believe that the whole argument (if there should be one) should’ve been whether or not the spelling should be /better/ as miru or mireu instead, because they are the most accurate (and if we’re being literal, the only accurate ones for pure korean romanisations.) another new example i would have is when we would romanised surnames like seo or suh, choi or chwe. people use both and can be use interchangeably unless the person put one as their actual government name. nevertheless, they are the same. the only difference would be the easier pronunciation for foreigners who doesn’t speak or know korean. if you consume any korean media and pick up their proununciation and how they romanise/write names, you would know that the ‘eo’ sound is spoken as ‘uh’ and for choi, it is written and pronounced as ‘chwe’ (accurately, though they do let people in western countries pronounce it as choi sometimes... like with lee but it’s pronounced as “ih” literally). of course, there can be exemptions to this rule like no one will romanise a name like eunjae as unjae or eunjeh whereas you can use jaehyun vs jaehyeon. thats why i found it a bit ??!!¥!}¥!¥?_!}_ when i saw them use “mir” and their t/n i was a bit disappointed because they tried to localise a pure korean word. one of my pet peeves and the reason why i learned languages is because i reaaaaaaally disliked it when certain things get lost in translation 😖 and for me, this one felt like it. [as in, it just sounded high and mighty to me the way they worded it but even if you try and google the pure korean word, everyone does romanise it as mireu]. in addition to this, it just makes me a tiny bittttt sad because cale has ALWAYS emphasised the fact that raon’s name is PURE KOREAN so this means a lot to me?!!?¥!}¥!¥ [and tbh, i have translated a few rofan and esp wuxia/xianxia centric novels and manhwas so it was so weird to me when a translator’s thought was to try and romanise a pure korean name like it was a borrowed word. but it’s aight anyways since i do read the raws and just wanted to put my two cents in since a lot of novel readers thought that miru was innacurate] [and like i said before, im not sure if this tl team translate terms like hyung or oppa, etc as is but if they do, i just really don’t understand the type of spite they gotta have for them to try and translate miru/mireu as mir......???]

[ps. regarding this reply hekdjdkjdkf i jus wanna be delulu bc i can’t express my adoration to cale normally..... i do not know how hkddjkdjdwhat it was a platonic proposal (for his money... and his brain tbh) but if im being honest i do wanna marry beacrox unironically.... although i feel like that’s even more impossible....... sighhhhhh]

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Hi Ralph

I’ve got a two part question.

1. How do you think Harry is managing/will manage his new level of fame whilst keeping connected to his audience? I’ve been around since 2014 and it seems a big part of what he loves about performing is having a huge crowd hyping him up (maybe why he’s working so hard to be a massive star) whilst at the same time he loves making a connection with individuals in said crowd. From the shows we’ve seen so far I feel like the scale of things in a studio show means some of that is lost. For the record I think he enjoyed playing Coachella and Big Weekend to such massive crowds a great deal but the odd one off huge event is different to playing massive venues for the entirety of your tour.

2. With the rise in his popularity outside of the fandom, I’ve seen many anecdotes of peoples concert experiences feeling less inclusive. I know your view is usually to assume that he doesn’t care what we think, but I can’t help wonder if he feels/ or will end up feeling a bit disappointed by this shift given his track record and his pride in creating safe spaces. In other words, I wonder if the level of fame Harry is crafting for himself will end up alienating him from many of the things he loves about his job.

Oh anon - I'm sure there are all sorts of ways that the transition from arenas to stadiums changes Harry's experience and there will be things that he misses. We can't know what they are, so of course it's possible that they're what you identify. But this reads like a list of things that are bothering you. Harry's experience of tours is so different from ours that I think it's wildly unlikely that the things that fans miss in larger venues are the same as the things that he misses.

To answer your questions specifically - to me it seems like the way that Harry wants to interact with fans at gigs (which it seems is where he does want to interact with fans) is something that absolutely does scale up. He's interacts with people at the front in a way he has full control over and then the crowd at the front. That's something that works for a crowd of 3,500, or at Old Trafford in front of 74,000. I really don't see any difference or why you imagine it'd be different for him.

And I have two thoughts about your second question. I've seen lots of people talk about feeling like something has been lost. But I think some of that is people universalising their concert experience. I don't recognise the experiences people are describing from Harry's arena tour. I was a long way back, some of the people around me didn't know he'd put up out an album and there were no pride flags anywhere around me. I suspect what some fans are seeing as the concert experience was much more fleeting and localised than they realised. The Birmingham arena I saw Harry held 15,000 people - that's a lot of different experiences.

I also don't think it was Harry that was creating those spaces that people are missing. I think it was always fans who were creating the spaces they want.

Given all this, I don't think that Harry knew the many different experiences people were having in arenas. And I don't think he'll know the many different experiences people are having in stadiums.

My advice anon is value your own experiences. If this is different for you then it's OK to be sad that you've lost a space where you could come together with other people and create an experience you valued.

[tartrat]

My thoughts for a rewrite for Yo-Kai watch Blastes 2 rewrite.

Recently i have been thinking about one of my main problems with Yo-kai watch (besides the fanbase on twitter) and that would be the Bundory family being perpetually trapped in Blasters 2 and specifically how i do have a rewrite in my head.

My main problem here is that because B2 has been disregarded they have been stuck there since. I know that Gowin, Catleen and Dandory have reappeared in Puni Puni but apart from that the rest of the family haven't appeared in any game since 2017. I feel like there should have been some sort of crossover with Yo-kai watch 3 as B2 is based on the treasure blasters mode from it and it would've possibly given them a bit more acknowledgement as well as possibly having localised names. I mean recently i found out that the family name has a spanish translation (Familia Feliante, apparently) on the wiki but am unsure whether this is legitimate or if someone was bored one day and decide to mess around.

I do favour Dandory over the rest as he is the main one, but over the years I have rewritten him inside my head, like i thought about this alot during 2020 and within the last year or so i've tried to make it more cohesive. I just like him and i don't know why, an unfortunately most of the results that come up for him online are f*tish art of him (on an unrelated note i wish that Charlie and the chocolate factory was never written)

(note that in this rewrite i have made Dandory 15 and have also aged the human characters up to 15 as well, because most shows sort of show 15 year olds fighting god at this point or something)

This is a basic outine.

Anyway my rewrite essentially goes that Catleen had made a deal with Kanendesu that it would take her first born child, but eventually she kept evading it with her family and having the other three children. However, Kanendesu eventually catches up to her and as punishment, possesses her before going off to the island where B2 takes place. This leaves Dandory with the family and his life becomes a living hell. Eventually Gustaf, tips him off about Nate so that he could go to him for help, and so Dandory flees to Springdale in the night, ending up collapsed on a random street only for Katie to trip over him in the morning. This then leads into the events of B2 but with Nate, Katie and Hailey exploring the temples with Dandory to find his mother. Eventually when they do find Catleen, and that she is currently possessed by Kanendesu, the other Bundory Family members reach them and in the squabble that ensues Kanendesu releases its control on Catleen and goes straight for Dandory and possesses him, leading to him being the first phase of the final boss.

So what else would i change and what would i keep?

Firstly he is still going to be the brains of the group as he would know the most about the temples that they will be going into.

Obviously with the mention of Nate, Katie and Hailey, they are the protagonists of this rewrite, I have more ideas for why Katie has a watch but not how the game explains it, but i also want to see Nate interact with humans more. This would also be a way to show Dandory healthier family relations.

Dandory isn't an actual criminal in this and was simply being used behind the scenes, when this is found out, Gowin is arrested (though he would eventually break out again).

Dandory is enrolled in the human's School afterwards and has to go by the name "Danny" whilst there, and is taken in by the Forester family (I would need to explain Katie and her family"s relationships with Yo-kai in the rewrite). The school in this is not the elementary school and is instead a high school for the arts.

Thats really all i have for now. This week i really have been thinking about how theres a lot of things that i would change in Yo-Kai watch. I haven't really kept up with the series in a while and i dont really follow anything from Shadowside onwards because its all kind of strange and I don't understand it (like what is a sorananki and why arte there three different versions of it and why is one kind of hot?). But Dandory will always have a special place in my heart and I really wish we got to see more of him and his family. There is his dragon variant and red cursed variant in puni puni but they are not exactly him. I don't care if he's a criminal or not, he deserved better from the narrative. Again just like with my previous Knight Light post i do want to think morer closely about this rewrite that i have as there is a lot that i want to say in regards to this series (Such as how Nate barely has friends like the most he interacts with other humans in the main story events are with his future daughter and so kid from the 60's) but thats all i have on Dandory for now.

[yihrae]

my reflection for BQ week 9 for any interested readers

My guilty confession is that I fell asleep during the meditation. While I'm unsure if that was the desired effect, it was undoubtedly the most meditative part of the class. Last Friday, Professor Elvin asked us what dream would we dream if we could dream any dream. My answer was that I would dream of a life where the people around me loved me. I would dream that I was a priority, important to people, and that of course I loved them too. It's a very simplistic dream with no real profound implication but it is also something that I care about a lot. He later discusses how if we had repeated this cycle of dreaming any dream we wanted we would eventually come back to the present, which, I will refer to as NOW because that's exactly how Professor Elvin Lim said it. He postulated if dreaming any dream allowed us to cycle back to the present then there is value in accepting the present moment for it is the only dream wherein we can always be surprised. Honestly, I disagree. I don't really want to be surprised. And even if someone told me I'd want to be surprised after dreaming every dream and experiencing everything the fact is that I haven't. I haven't experienced every emotion and every event there is to experience. So, it was difficult to say I agree with his point, but I understand what he's trying to get at. Referring back to his hypothetical question, I would say it is useful in evaluating a person's inner desires without asking them the boring question "What do you really want?". It had me think deeply about the things I prioritise in my life and was a reality check-up in some ways.

Before this, he talks about three important factors in career-shaping: money, impact, and expression. I compared this to my own system I use when evaluating career choices. I use the 3Ps (I came up with this myself I promise): prestige, purpose and passion. The job has to be somewhat prestigious (well-paying), but it must also have an important purpose, meaning that it impacts some people positively, and I must have a passion for it (so I can enjoy my work). The only difference between our models was the expression vs passion. But in some ways, these two things are very similar, in that expression in many mediums (one being art) is derived from the passion the person feels for the said medium or the passion someone feels for the subject within the medium. Similarly, passion, or being passionate about something, is an expression of ourselves; an expression of who we are and what we love. So, I concluded our models were essentially the same. This segment where he considered what is important in career shaping was something I had already been doing in the past, so it affirmed that at the very least, I was thinking about things in the right way. He later mentions "far" vs "near" impact. A doctor would be an example of "near" impact - localised and applicable to a small group of individuals. "Far" is the opposite, something like addressing climate change would be an example of that. I had never really thought of whether I preferred "near" or "far", so I thought about it for the first time. I concluded I wouldn't mind either. In both scenarios, your net impact can be high (high impact x few people = low/moderate impact x many people). But in the end, I found myself leaning more towards "near". I treasure close relations with people and perhaps in some way, I would want those relations to be something I experience in my work. I'll consider this extra factor the next time I think about what I want to do!

Later on, he has a segment on the importance of accepting the NOW. While there is a lot to dissect and break down, the most intriguing part to me was perhaps the idea that anxiety is worrying about the future and that the future doesn't exist. I don't feel very anxious a lot, but I know a few people that do. This notion of the future not existing because it will eventually become the now and that anxiety is worrying for the non-existent future as an answer to anxiety, in general, is almost as intuitive as telling a homeless person to just buy a house. Almost. But I would say it was a very intriguing perspective/truth (I'm not sure which it is) about anxiety and is a useful tool I will probably share with some people in the future. It's difficult to comfort an anxious person or provide remedies to their problems. But after this lesson, I would say I have some tools to at least tryout.

Although this lesson wasn't able to entirely flip my perspective on life (though it has the potential for someone else maybe), it was at the very least comforting. At the end of the lesson, Elvin instructs us to imagine ourselves in what we consider to be the most dystopian scenario. Then he asks us "If throughout this time, where your house has burned down, there's a tsunami, everyone around has died and all that, your emotions were being measured, and that if someone told you that if they were to find you to be happy for even a singular second, you'd receive a billion dollars. Could you be happy?" I remember everyone (myself included) answered yes. Then he said, "See, if you want to be happy, you can." I was gently shocked. As in, I wasn't so shocked that my jaw sagged to the ground but rather that my eyes had widened slightly and I let out a silent "oohhh". I think sometimes I struggle to be happy. Sometimes I'll recount the times where someone would tell me "just be happy and stop thinking so much". Oh I WISH it were that straightforward. But when Elvin puts it like that it really is that straightforward. Just be happy??? What's the difficulty? Just smile man. Honestly, I don't think this will alter my methodology for making myself happy. For me, it's usually a combination of forcing myself to exercise and socialising excessively. This will, however, supplement that methodology and serve as a sort of bolster to it. When everything is failing I will probably faintly recount this Friday evening and force my dimples to form. So, it is useful.

[astralartefact]

I did the thing the people do but on here nobody can stop me from also talking about it (link here if you want to do it yourself)

I put my current favorites at the top and my all time favorites (=the games I played in my childhood and still have strong memories about) closer to the bottom which created a nice gradient that happens to really fit my overall taste! There's serious stuff in one corner, there's straightforward brain empty fun stuff in the other and I get to like it all and everything in-between because favorites don't follow rules :)

Also: I put FF14's 5.1 in first place to symbolize YoRHa:Dark Apocalypse not Shadowbringers (because custom didn't work for me and that was the closest entry to it), FF14 as a whole is represented by the Stormblood entry (which I chose because it would make Heavensward people mad)

Also Also: I think my feelings about the first 5 are relatively well documented (Reincarnation here) so I will skip explaining those

Also Also Also: Spoilers

Xenoblade X best Wii U game (Yes, I proudly own a Wii U, that thing was great and I won't hear anybody say different q_q) I want a sequel so bad.

The way it was a fake MMO with pseudo guilds was so cool to me, it really made exploring Mira feel part of this big thing everyone was working on together and it worked really well with the character creator too. Also experiencing Sylvalum for the first time will always be one of my favorite video game moments ever. (also i have not played any other xenoblade so far)

Bravely Second In my teens I had this weird obsession with playing the second game of a series without playing the first?? I did it with FF13-2 (which I dropped because I couldn't get past a certain boss early on lol) and also with Bravely Second, but with the difference that I actually knew what BD1 was about lol (and also I had played 4 Warriors of Light before too)

I just have a lot of love for Second? I really like Ryo Supercell's soundtrack for how well it still fits with the half of Second's soundtrack that's just Revo's soundtrack again despite being so fundamentally different. Like you knew what was old content and what was new by the obviously different music, but it still fit, at least to me. Altair and Vega's Theme is still one of my favorite pieces ever. Also Magnolia.

NieR Replicant Yeah. ... ... ... Maybe I should put Drakengard 1 here-

Final Bar Line Shoutout to the DLC for making me check out SaGa!!! (also I needed some Rhythm Game in here, I love Rhythm Games but I never stick to one enough to say "Yes, That One.")

Pikmin 4 This would have been Pikmin 2 if Pikmin 4 wasn't the best game ever. The only note I have is that some of the (later) dungeons could have had more interesting bosses, but aside from that it's absolutely great.

Fire Emblem Fates [Bracing for impact] I get it. Yes. We all know the story sucks. You can stop prefacing any vaguely positive statement made about this game as if to make sure you aren't thought of as one of those weebs. No, you are a smart weeb who likes FE4 and knows that Thracia exists. You think Incest is bad (wait what is FE4 about again) and the dating sim shit is really really cringey. Also something something bad localisation, something something bottom half of Camilla's design. Kaga would be proud.

I just think it's neat. I do like dating sims (there i said it), I like a lot of the characters and their designs and I think the child units - as dumb as their explanation might be - add a tangible pay-off to developing supports between party members and it adds so much replay value too. I have played Fates more than any other FE game I own and it's mostly because I can develop the children into classes they certainly shouldn't be, like making Shiro a viable mage just because I can, who cares, and all the while I discover a new line of supports. And the fact that it's not brick hard really helps with that, I don't have to sit down and plan out every step I take only to reset once I inevitably stop thinking for a second just to do a silly little run of the game.

It might not be for you, but it certainly is for me :P

AI Somnium Files This is on here for gay reasons: In one of the earlier scenes in the game (I think before going into the mind thing for one of the first times or something? It's in that room overlooking the mind link machine) I examine a shelf in the background - as you do in games like this - and there I found Pewter's gay manga collection.

And of course I thought this is just your average japanese visual novel, this is all I get, a funny little hint - not even a straightforward confirmation - that this character is maybe gay or something. But no, him being gay is an actual plot point that's relevant to the story. And I felt so happy that this thing - which at that point was my own little inside joke every time he was on screen (haha gay pewter, don't worry i won't tell on you... also you're cute) - was actually real??

People always point to that Mizuki scene (which dont get me wrong is great in its own way!) but for me finding Pewter's gay mangas will always be the thing I will remember most about this game.

Dragon Quest Builders 2 I was so in love with DQB1 and with what they have shown of 2 in livestreams I ended up importing the japanese version because there was no telling when it was getting an overseas release. And then when it finally released here I of course also bought the translated version. What can I say, It's great! I hope they're doing a DQB3 in the future, but I kind of doubt it (sadly)

Inazuma Eleven Go 2 Chrono Stone Listen. I only played Inazuma Eleven as a joke. My little brother was really into soccer and online it was constantly advertised as "Pokémon but soccer" so I just tried it out to see if he would like it.

I ended up playing through all of the first trilogy (aside from the first game) on japanese - without understanding a single word - because I was just simply so hooked. (For anyone wondering: I definitely did this legally. There were definitely no NDS flashcards involved. The reason I didn't play Go until it finally came out in Europe was definitely not because 3DS emulation wasn't really an easily viable thing back then.)

And I loved when it went crazier with Go and the Keshins! I even would have liked Go Galaxy if it didn't force me keep the most unlikeable characters in the entire franchise around (also the Souls are a full on downgrade to Keshins and MixiMax in terms of flashiness), which is why I'm putting Chrono Stone here instead.

I'm so excited for Victory Road, even though it's bittersweet that it's going to end there... but honestly I'm just glad Level 5 gets to release another Inazuma Eleven after the past few years of hell they've been through.

Spirit Tracks Best Zelda. Moving on (choo choo)

Fur Fighters Okay, my parents bought this together with our PS2, I highly doubt they knew what this game even was about and I highly doubt you know what this game even is. It's not even necessarily good and I don't think I should have played it at the age I have played it at, but... I sincerely think it has shaped a lot of my interests in an indirect way??

Basically, the setting is just cute animals saving their children with the power of guns, that's all you need to know about it. (They're also plush toys, but I somehow didn't even really realize that as a child lol) It was dreamt up in a fever dream, but it's just really good too? I need to replay this game so bad.

There's just so much stuff from this game that randomly pops into my head that I remember fondly. There's a (secret) world that's just a house but big (chibi robo style) that I always think of when any other game does it...

And in hindsight this game is so fascinatingly big? The levels are enormous and there are so many of them? And nobody seems to ever have heard about it? It's wild.

Harvest Moon Animal Parade It was between this one or Tale of Two Towns, those two are the Harvest Moons I have spend the longest time with. I'm still sad the Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons name fiasco happened and now all people know is Stardew Valley, which In My Opinion(!!!!) has the only benefit of being a PC game, most Harvest Moon games from the before times are better than it and yet nobody even acknowledges them anymore because of a good-ish indie game that's for the most part just a retro style PC version of Harvest Moon + Rune Factory.

But well, that's how the cookie crumbles. Good for him.

Pokémon Heartgold I was only allowing myself one Pokémon game and I already have Fates on this, I can't take one of the switch ones even if I would be fine with those too. I was also debating BW2 or Platinum, but then again I like all of them, I just don't like talking about it anymore because the internet has made Pokémon one of those topics that you just do not discuss in public if you want to keep your sanity.

Shoutout to Pokémon XD and Coliseum for being cool too.

Mario & Luigi RPG (entire series, but especially Partners in Time) Talk about gone to soon Q_Q My heroes. Legends. Icons. DId you know Yoko Shimomura wrote the music for this series??? It is simply iconic. I really hope with the Super Mario RPG & Paper Mario TTYD remakes on the horizon that they maybe revive/reboot this series too and give a new gameanother shot despite the flop of the remakes because this type of skill based JRPG is not only really unique but also really fucking fun and there's not really much else like it. For some reason I always thought I'm an JRPG gamer, but I have since discovered that I'm really not, I'm just a Mario & Luigi RPG gamer.

(And yes, I know AlphaDream is dead but that doesn't mean Nintendo can't just continue the franchise even just with a spiritual successor)

Paper Mario TTYD I mean, I think you know. Everybody likes TTYD. I also like all the other ones, I even thought Sticker Stars was fine even if it wasn't as good. I think this would actually be Origami King, but I haven't actually played that one myself (yet)

Speaking of which the music of Origami King is in my top3 favorite OSTs of all time and i'm not kidding about that, listen to the Autumn Mountain Battle Theme and tell me that's not some of the best shit you've ever heard - and almost every single track is like that. and don't get me started about the "joke" tracks (royal hotel pool or swan lake.) and the boss themes. and tranquil pipes teahouse. and then there's moments like the secret trans birdo affirming coffee club. it's so good, I'm so looking forward to what's coming next for Paper Mario and seeing that Nintendo seems to have revised their stance of Generics only with Wonder, the next one is probably going to be amazing.

Skyward Sword I LIKED THE MOTION CONTROLS

Rollercoaster Tycoon (I do like 3 too, I actually played that one much more, but I chose Loopy Landscapes because for some reason that expansion never worked on my pc as a child q_q I'm still yearning) Yeah. Not really much to say, I think. Except maybe that the art style of 1 and 2 is so... peculiar? Like it's so timeless it doesn't age the slightest, but it was also somehow already dated when it released? It's really beautiful in a way, but also kind of ugly. I don't know. I don't make sense. I love these games so much.

Super Mario Sunshine So many good memories, it would be wrong for me to not include it.

Yoshi's Island See above.

Mario Sports Mix I played this game (and Hoops 3 on 3) so much as a child/teen? And the music of this game is so good too. Makes me wonder what Masayoshi Soken, niche composer of Mario Sports Spin-Off Games, is doing these days.

[thealienspacepod]

Ask Your Self

We have to ask ourselves, who is this “I” which I am refering to as myself ? What is this sense of being a person really ? Are the emotions that are arising in this body, mine, me ? Is this body even mine, me ? Who is it that is depressed and worried ? Is this identity, or sense of entity real, illusory ? Is the reality I have been perceived since birth really the absolute and ultimate reality ? And where is the connection, since everything is supposedly, intimately interconnected ? If we’re all one, then why do I feel separate from it all ? What is the difference between the ego, the soul and the self, god consciousness ? Where is this “I” located in all this ? Am I 100% certain that this sense of being who I am is what I think it is, or is it only what I believe it is, a projection?

What if I find out that who I think I am is merely an illusion, would I fight for my survival or would I accept that truth, even if undeniable ? Would I just avoid it and keep going with my life ? How would this impact me, would it be delusional ? Would I suffer even more, or feel liberated ? Who is this “I” that suffers or feels liberated ?Would life become meaningless or meaningful ? Would a sense of simply being, be a liberation ? Is the sense of becoming beneficial to me ? Why do I feel so emprisoned & how to get out ?Am I sure that others are others as people having a consciousness in the brain and being people as an entity ? People having a center ? Is it just a projection and reality is much more crazier than I thought it actually was, and cant even be grasped by rational thinking ? What is real ? How can I be so sure that what is defined as “real” is the ultimate real ? How to find out then ? How can we come to be aware of it when more than often we arent even aware of the breath ? What if the “I” that is trying to find out, was actually the very thing that was getting in the way of a truth beyond belief, something that can only be found through the recognition of the soul, and not mind ? The truth about who we really are and what reality really is can never be grasped by mind, but beyond the mind.

We really have to differentiate whenever we are in the ego and when we are in the soul. One is illusory and the other is real.

If we spend our life limiting ourselves thinking that we are the body and mind, its no debate, we will suffer as we will never feel whole. As long as theres a center, theres a lack. As long as there is someone experiencing the world and not the world experiencing someone, as long as theres an “I” as an entity / person that suffers, there will be suffering. This “I” isnt our ultimate being, it is an illusory separate self. Therefore we must eventually have to deidentify with the body and the mind to melt this center. Try now.

We are not living, we are being lived.

Our souls has a purpose here and play a major role on this planet and in cosmos, so it is a mistake to limit oneself to a personal experience in worldly illusions which leads one nowhere but in a repeated cycle of suffering. The soul is an individual version of the self, therefore localised awareness. It has a sense of individualism, as it is like waves from the ocean, but the ego is like bubbles from the waves and it is the only thing that is from the ocean but not part of it, since nothing is in a bubble, therefore not aware that it is an illusion. We are not here to dream, but to wake up.

Whenever we feel depressed, worried, anxious or stressed, remember that the reality we perceive isnt how it really is, but a projection.

When we are in such state, it is not much of a psychological but more of a spiritual concern. It’s never easy to get out of that state as it drains a lot of energy, and much easier to dive in it. The thing is that the one who perceives itself as a separate self or entity that suffers, is the one in which is in fact causing the suffering. There is no reason to ever feel the way we feel, unless this illusory “I" makes it a reason by justifying itself for it’s own perceived illusions. It will often blame the world and victimize itself for it’s sense of separation or loneliness, for it’s lack of happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment. This sense of separate self having a center as an entity perceives the world as separate and external, therefore is the cause of all resistance. When the illusory self is realized as an illusion, the personal experience as a separate self comes to an end, and there is no more resistance to what is, but simply being as it is. There is an end to suffering, as there is no more sufferer, and no more perceived reality as separate and external on behalf of a separate self. The energy is restored and maintained, & no more sense of otherness, but wholeness.

The perception of the ego is very narrow, but somehow often interpret reality with a "what you see is what you get" approach, when the truth is that the ego is itself an illusion which creates a dreamlike version of a perceived reality with an illusory self. The only thing that’s ultimately real is what lies in the background of experience, what is aware of the body, the mind (5 senses) and the world. Intuition is soul based.

The ego cannot be in the present moment since it would dissolve, and since the ego is illusory, it can only exist in the belief that it is real, wheras the here and now is the only and ultimate real, and the ego will constantly try to avoid it by projecting in the past or future, creating dreams and dwelling in pleasure or avoiding pain. Paradoxically, it is the cause of suffering. It will attach and identify with it’s own illusions, including itself.

Joy or bliss comes from soul and self, when the center is melted, one experiences oneself as everything and loses the false sense of self as it’s ultimate self. Wholeness is being felt permanently. There is no sense of duality.

The "I" in which we think we are experiencing as "someone, as "me, myself and I" is in fact an accumulation of memory and information stored in the body, and this sense of being someone or being an "entity" having a center is nothing but a misidentification from consciousness as the body mind, which is simply a vehicle with an operating system in order for consciousness to experience itself. The experience is meant to be individual but not personal, and it makes all the difference and has an impact on the well being of such life.

When we say "I am not the body, not the mind (thoughts, feellings, sensations perceptions)" we mean that this sense of being myself as the body mind is an illusion, therefore creating suffering on behalf of a false sense of separate self always seeking or avoiding, and becoming rather than being. Illusions are real because it makes it real, but the truth is that absolutely everything is energy vibrating at a different frequency, which is activity of consciousness.

Matter is energy. The body, mind and the world are energy. Energy is the activity of a formless pure consciousness, that which is aware of it’s activity. We are not an entity, but rather activity from it. We are all energy as activity from consciousness, and love (not the emotion being felt, but love itself) is the ultimate and highest vibration as it is pure sense of wholeness with everything. Since awakening, this false “me” disappeared and never came back, and for this reason I truly felt like being reborn and more alive than ever, knowing that birth and death is in itself only experienced on behalf of the ego. This “me” has never existed in the first place. Even this feelling of being reborn is an illusion.

That which is aware of our experience is our ultimate self, without any identification

Consciousness experiences itself as the many, humans and other species and everything else. Imagine a movie playing by itself or watching itself, being aware of itself, in which some characters are not being aware of nothing but of themselves as who they think they are as their ultimate self and only focused outward, on their own illusory personal self and experience completly unaware that they are not only the whole movie but that which is aware of the movie. The movie is self aware, but not all characters are aware that they are characters.

Awareness or consciousness “minds” itself through an illusory existence. We are awareness, and existence as it’s activity.

Wouldnt anyone love to be in an ecstatic state all day long regardless of the experience ? To go from crying tears of suffering and grief to tears of bliss in the absence of loss and lack ? We live in a kingdom, we have it all, but many seek for more as if they had nothing. They dont feel satisfied, yet they have everything. Life itself.

When we look to acquire things that are temporary, we suffer when they dont last, instead of focusing on what is permanent and to not get attached to what must eventually go. Most humans cant appreciate and see the miracle that is not only in front of them but within them, and few see the opportunities and gifts that has been given directly from god. The soul is crying for help and it's time we access to it by transcending the ego and to see ourselves not as an entity in a body mind, but as a character from consciousness.

It’s time for us all to drop what no longer serves us and to shift to a higher self and to the only truth. What no longer serves us is this illusory self. To let go of the past is to stop suffering our memory. To let go of the future is to stop suffering your imagination. To be in this very present moment is the end of suffering, and it’s where peace and happiness truly & only resides. The belief that it can be found, reached or acquired through any form of object, situation or experience is to be mistaken for something artificial and impermanent, when it can only be recognized within as our very essence of being.

Just because the world is currently going through spiritual amnesia doesnt mean we are meant to remain in this conditioning forever.

We havent came back on earth in this lifetime to get lost in worldly illusions, we came here with the purpose to not only remember what we truly are, but to do god’s work in this era. The work we have to do doesnt have anything to do with ourselves as someone, but as the soul behind our identity and sense of entity. We must align with the ancient wisdoms that might have been lost, but can never truly be forgotten.

The priority is the transcendence of ego.

The world we know seems to be going through chaos and feel meaningless, but beyond the ego, it is not chaotic but approaching the end of an era called Kali Yuga, also refered as the dark age, where chaos and destruction must happen in order to give birth to a new divine world. Chaos is the result of spiritual amnesia. It might seem cruel, but “who” finds it cruel ? Beyond the personal experience, there is no concepts such as good or bad, time or space. It is simply a call for a spiritual revolution.

Everything eventually ascends back to god.

Dont worry, this lifetime is not the worst that is coming, but it is in this lifetime that we must clear our karmic debts, and go back to “being”. Unfortunately we are going through whatever we are going through because there is a price to pay for living life selfishly and not selflessly.

The light that always shines bright can only be veiled or darkened by experience and by this false sense of self. It’s never lost or ever going anywhere since it’s the very essence of what we really are, but the separate self always veils the light by it’s own shadow and will seek relief in sense enjoyments, acting like slow poison. One must get to the current leading to immortality, to focus on what is real and not impermanent. The clouds are only passing by, but the sky will always be there as an open aware space.

The mind must be aligned with the soul which must be realized as the self, in wholeness with everything and as that which is formless, deathless pure intelligence that created this very world in which we are all part of as one, or more precisely as nothing and everything.

Every morning I not only meditate but also pray in form of sending love, support and guidance directly through consciousness for you all for divine healing and protection. I have seen an enormous shift in my surroundings and at work, in my relationship with customers or coworkers, strangers, friends, family, animals. I dont get stuck in the traffic, I am the traffic. Im not waiting anymore, never looking forward to what happens later. There is only the here and now. Life became vibrant, for it always was. Not everything is pink, but as light shines through all experiences, there is a divine clarity, a sense of peace that cant be shook or taken away, and constanly present. When I wake up in the morning I feel energized. When I go to sleep I already feel well rested, as there is no form of resistance to what is, and so the body mind doesnt consume much energy and rarely get sick anymore. There is a shift in every aspects of my life, contagious with the surroundings, for it has never been my life, but simply life itself.

I dont care about anyone’s ego. I dont care when people tell me about stuff they bought, or whatever life drama. The only thing I care about is how they feel inside. I only care for their souls. I just love everyone so much that I just want to hold them and tell them how much I love them. It doesnt matter to me whether I know them or not, I dont need to. We are all part of the same self. Being selfless is the only way, but it cannot be achieved with an illusory sense of separate self. This is the only distance that separates us. Sometimes I eat my breakfast as im looking out the window and I just wanna cry out of gratitude to be experiencing this shining clarity. Although many would say I have nothing, it truly feels like I have it all, and it would be hard to want more as I already am everything. All the money in the world couldnt buy life itself.

I dont experience myself as an angel or anything like that and I dont wanna be labeled or identified as anything but the character im currently playing, and I still have an ego in which I sometimes oscillate toward it but im trying to remain either balanced or off of it as much as possible. Wherever I am, im in a meditative state where I renunce to see life as I perceive it through the ego but rather to see it as it really is, and theres nobody there but life itself and everything is right as it’s meant to be, even tho most cant see through the chaos which is caused by a self created illusory reality.

I havent felt depressed, stressed, anxious, worried, sad, bad, angry, upset, or anything else in over a year, because there is a permanent recognition that there is no one there to suffer, and that there is only the present moment as consciousness, for the past never existed and is only memory, and for the future will never come and only imagination. There is only wholeness, pure love and bliss. Sometimes I catch myself in the act experiencing a separate self, and I return to the knowing that there is no such thing as an entity or center. Sometimes its hard to see it, but practicing self inquiry, mindfulness, transcendental meditation, and refreshing the mind with wisdom teachings prevent from falling back into spiritual amnesia.

I dont think im better than anyone else. Why ? Because such a thought is ego based. There is no one to be better than anyone else, and there is no one else to be better. There is no one but all. There is only awareness and it’s activity. All comparison to who’s better or more spiritual is the exact opposite of spirituality and is in itself an ego based statement based on duality. Im only here to spread love and light while working on my own karmic debts and to enjoy the experience as a soul realized as the self, and I dont wish to interfere with anyone but seekers needing guidance or motivation to realize their full potential as their true self and feel at home.

God has no center and is omnipresent, but the ego has a center which is a resistance to being.

The only thing that ever distanced oneself from god is the ego, and it’s dissolution is the only way to soul purification and unity, permanent happiness, joy and liberation as pure beingness. Non attachment is essential, and the only way. It is a synonym to the complete surrendering. You have all the love in the world right at your feet. Everyone that looks at you only see a projection of themselves. They could see a dead body and still think there’s someone in there, see ? It’s only a belief. Pure reflections of a misinterpretation. The only thing they are looking at, is a mirror of their own illusory self.

Only the separate self is on a path, since it is already whatever is is seeking or avoiding. Therefore, there is no path. The only path is the return home. That’s why in the buddhist tradition they call it the pathless path. Just look outside your window and see that god is not only in everything, but everything is god.

Anything that feels like hell is ego based. Dont ever let the ego take over your soul.

Ancient literature from the east are based on beings that werent as identified with their body mind as they do now in the modern world, and shouldnt be underestimated. These scriptures were literally written by divine beings that were closer to their soul than they were to the body.

Religion have been corrupted and used for egoistic purposes such as mass control, indoctrination and as a set of rules, but it’s origins was beyond belief systems and full of wisdoms, and so everything got reversed and most of humanity are diving deep in amnesia as they are going further into the depths of ego.

Both atheism and modern religion are irrelevant since both are based on belief or disbelief. Only doubt is relevant, as it challenges the mind and pushes oneself to turn inward in deep inquiry. Wisdom teachings from ancient scriptures are meant to reflect on what is real and illusory and does not advocate in the sense of separate self.

Intellect is also one thing, but turning inward to have a direct experience with god through ego dissolution is the only way to liberation from the cycle of suffering and to see through it’s own illusions, but has nothing to do with information but a recognition of what’s beyond. Information is through the mind, recognition is soul based.

The whole point in spirituality is to surrender to god by letting go of the ego, and to all form of attachment and identification based on an illusory self and a temporary experience. There is no path, and nothing to reach, nothing to achieve when it comes to being, and to realize your true self only happens here and now. The ego never reaches anything or goes anywhere. Where consciousness identifies, it becomes. You are awareness localised in a body, be that.

Never be too harsh on yourself for not having the clarity or relief you are looking for, or for not being as “spiritual” as you would like to be, or for not growing as fast as you would like. There is no such thing as becoming spiritual. All this worrying is an ego trap. You are already whatever you seek to achieve. You cant become what you already are and you can only search for what you are not. You are already liberated and there is no one there to be enlightened. There is no one to love, there is only love. No one to be happy, there is only happiness. No one to be peaceful, there is only peace. Life has no meaning until we give it a meaning. Consciousness is shines bright through itself, and the ego is the result of it’s own shadow.

Be grateful and joyful to yourself when you remember the wisdoms. See every challenges in life as tests & opportunities. Dont forget, but dont overthink. Be mindful, but take it easy. Catch yourself in the act when you oscillate more into the ego, but never punish yourself. Just come back in focus and dont let it take over your soul. Worrying about it is ego based.

You’ve got a whole lifetime to figure it out, but you can be happy right here right now. In fact, dont be happy, for nothing can make you happy. You already are the happiness you seek. I am here, your loved ones are here, your guides, ascended masters and god, all as one supporting, protecting and loving your being. We all transcend together through dissolution.

Look deep within your heart, and you also shall find in there the heart of all things.

Im truly proud of you all for not giving up. For choosing soul growth over ego growth. Inner development over an illusory ego driven world.

We already are all the angels and all the gods.

We are the infinite & eternal, formless, birthless & deathless, everlasting presence. We are awareness and it’s own activity as a forever expanding interdimensional universe & energy.

Dreams within dreams, It’s time to wake up.

[worldoshaking]

I’ve been having thoughts about translation lately, specifically in the context of svsss. tl;dr I really, really love the ways danmei fan translations are creating a vernacular of their own, and new conventions for what a good translation should look like. Both the web translation and the licensed version are amazing in different ways.

(First of all, I want to clarify that I’m speaking very much as a reader - I have no experience translating, and have the greatest respect for anyone who does. This is just a ramble about my own impressions as a reader of translations, based on my very specific cultural context; I don’t have the expertise for anything else. This is about translating fiction, not technical translation, which is completely different - there, a seamless, invisible translation is the objective. I’m also not Chinese and speak very little of the language, so I would not want to speak over anyone with a connection to the cultural context of these works. I also want to acknowledge that this whole community exists because of the enormous amount of labour Sinophone fans have put in to make these works accessible to the rest of us - as translators, writers of meta, and starters of important and often difficult conversations - and I’m immensely grateful for that!)

*

It’s kind of a peculiarity of English that localisation as a concept feels a little weirder than with other languages, because of the breadth and complexity of the Anglosphere as well as the historical context of the language’s spread. The thing is, English is a lingua franca that’s spoken in lots of situations where there are other languages in the picture: in online communities, in academic contexts, in diaspora communities, in countries with a colonial history, in conversations with people from other countries. In each of those situations, the context and purpose is a little different, and in some cases it can give rise to a distinctly recognisable flavour of English. I grew up in one of those contexts; English is my first language and I would call myself functionally a native speaker, but you can also hear from my English that there are, so to speak, other languages in the picture somewhere. This is also why the concept of ‘native’ is kind of a flawed one in a post-colonial world: there’s a degree of (often racial) bias in whose dialect is considered standard or native, and whose is ‘speaking wrong.’

Anyway, all of this is why it sounds weird to me when localisation gets taken too far, to the point where things like modes of address and linguistic register get ironed out, because it’s not completely unimaginable to me that these characters could be in situations where they would speak in English, even to each other, without their cultural context being any different. (I mean, there’s English-language slang in svsss, and two of the characters even use English as their secret language.) And as a speaker of English in largely bilingual contexts (i.e. contexts where everyone has other languages in common but English is the one we’re using), it sounds much less weird to me to, for example, keep the honorifics and titles, because that’s what I would do in an analogous context in real life. But more generally, it makes sense to look to how bilingual and diasporic speakers of the source language handle it! There are often specific conventions and forms of address that arise in bilingual linguistic communities. For instance, calling someone an ‘auntie.’

(This is a matter of taste, but I’m also okay with footnotes, because in my head the characters aren’t speaking to me, they’re speaking to each other with a shared cultural context; it’s fine if they use terms I don’t understand. But everything in moderation, of course; sometimes you need to translate ‘keikaku’ as ‘plan.’)

I think the reason it sounds weird and off to my ears when a translation sounds too localised is that it can feel whitewashed; at worst, some translations sound like they’re asking ‘How would these characters speak if they were white and monolingual and from the US?’ rather than ‘How would these characters speak if they happened to be speaking English?’ More generally, the approach prioritises creating a product that flows smoothly to speakers of the target language, who might not have any context for the source language; something along the lines of ’how would it sound if you had a babel fish in your ear?’ This would normally be a pretty reasonable approach to translation, but it sounds weird in this case specifically because those characters could be speaking English, and if they did that’s not how they’d speak it; for instance, if a character uses a respectful title to address someone else it sounds jarring to hear them just use a first name in the translation, because that conveys a completely different impression of the relationship between them and erases a potential hierarchy or power dynamic.

Of course, there are also really good translations that find interesting and creative ways to convey things like linguistic register in a smooth and elegant way, without relying on things like honorifics; these could potentially be more effective at conveying cultural context. It’s also about drawing a line between unnecessarily exoticising or othering the culture of the original work (which titles and honorifics can sometimes do, as in anime fandom) versus simplifying things too much in the urge to make them accessible to white audiences. There isn’t really a one-size-fits-all answer, beyond listening respectfully to speakers of the source language. But it’s a little uncomfortable that some modes of address and turns of phrase are labelled as ‘unnatural’ and ‘wrong’ when they’re quite conceivably ones that speakers of dialect or people with a diasporic background would use, or that societal structures that provide important context are completely erased from the translation.

*

I think that’s part of what I particularly enjoy about the good webnovel fan translations I’ve read: they preserve a lot more of that bilingual oddity and liveliness than, say, a commercial anime translation typically would. Granted, there’s always a slight artificiality to the exercise of translation, because you are constructing an English that these characters would speak when they don’t do that in the source material (characters who might, for example, live in a fantasy version of Ancient China, where English doesn’t even exist). But this feels like a much more natural and respectful, as well as more fun, way to do it! It’s also just a really fun linguistic worldbuilding exercise in miniature. I love the fact that these translations are creating a vernacular of their own among translators and readers, with a shared vocabulary of generally understood expressions that aren’t quite standard English (for instance, expressions like ‘who’s your shimei?’ or describing a clingy character as ‘sticky’ - it’s not the first term the typical Anglophone would use, but it’s both understandable and delightfully evocative) as well as titles like ‘shizun’ and ‘shixiong.’ Fundamentally, these translations feel very organically bilingual, and there’s an affection for the source material that really comes through.

Of course, it can be a delicate balancing act to decide how much you can get away with while keeping the translation functional and readable. I love both the original web translation and the licensed version of svsss, because I feel like they both take slightly different approaches to this question while still retaining the bilingual flavour. There are specific turns of phrase in the original fan translation that I really love (for instance, Shen Qingqiu’s ‘pure and literary air’ when he fights.) I also loved the inclusion of Chinese slang, and extremely serviceable terms like ‘papapa’ (as well as the borrowed Japanese slang; it really gives you the context of Shen Qingqiu being an annoying otakuTM, and I say this with the utmost affection for him.)

At the same time, I think the licensed translation does a wonderful job of keeping the slangy otaku online-ness of svsss while making it smoother and more accessible to a wider audience. They didn’t keep ‘papapa’ (at least so far; I haven’t read 2 in full yet), but the fact that they replace it with a range of wonderful, terrible, embarrassing euphemisms along the lines of ‘take a trip to pound town’ is even funnier. (Especially the fact that they come up with a different terrible expression every time; it’s so creative and hilarious!) They make Shen Qingqiu every bit as ridiculous and cringey and lovable as he is in the original fan translation, and construct a really unique and delightful English for him. I think the footnotes are also more extensive, and they’re really helpful!

In the end, I think the web and licensed translations are really complementary to each other, and I would heartily recommend reading both!

[bb-8]

Tech Savvy

Pairing: Tech x female reader Summary:  You’re an ex-imperial who has a crush on Tech. He’s awkward about it. Until he’s not. Rating: Explicit (18+, minors DNI) Warnings/tags: crack treated seriously, smut, unprotected PIV, awkward flirting, oral sex, first kisses, accidental exhibitionism, lots of bad jokes, slight angst Word count: 5.4K Notes: It’s smutty crack treated seriously, guys. Read on AO3.

The planet you land on isn’t anything special. It’s a humid swamp world in the Outer Rim that offers enough seclusion for even the Empire’s Most Wanted to pass by unnoticed.

You, being the kind and selfless individual you are, decide to help with repairs while Clone Force 99 are on a supply run. It’s the first time the ship has made planet fall in weeks and everyone is a bit stir-crazy, jumping at the chance to stretch their legs. Prolonged time spent in hyperspace has that effect.

Before he left, you told Hunter that your status as an ex-Imperial put an unnecessary target on their back. You’re still wearing your Imperial uniform, after all, and you know for a fact that the Empire is not exactly merciful to deserters. Especially deserters that committed high treason. Like aiding Clone Force 99’s escape from an Imperial prison.

You definitely didn’t just jump at the chance to stay behind because Tech opted to. That would be ridiculous.

You feel your face heat at the thought.

(What? His goggles are cute.)

The truth is, there’s been something – a tension, as it were – between the two of you since you arrived on board. You know it, he knows it. You’ve been orbiting around each other for some weeks now, and this is the first time you’ve been alone –

“Can you spare a minute?” Tech calls out, pulling you away from your thoughts. You swivel in your chair and shift your attention to him, a bit surprised.

“I was beginning to think you didn’t realise I was on board,” you reply as you make your way to the cockpit where Tech is currently fiddling with some wires.

“You’re...very hard to miss,” Tech replies and your heart skips a beat. “The ship is far too small to miss another sentient being’s presence.”

“Right,” you mutter while taking a seat, trying not to sound too deflated. So maybe he didn’t feel that tension. “What do you need help with?”

“I am taking this opportunity to rewrite the ship’s central comm unit to be more covert when passing through areas with increased Imperial traffic. If I can update the ship’s communication infrastructure to resemble that of a first generation Imperial craft, then we will considerably reduce our chances of being identified. Which is why I am particularly glad you stayed behind today. Considering your, er, history.” He fiddles with a mess of wires in front of him, not once looking up.

“And here I was thinking you wanted me around because you enjoyed my company,” you playfully jab.

“There’s that, too,” Tech replies. “Though it would be advantageous if you could list all of the Imperial access codes you can remember. The computer and I can do some pattern recognition to better–,” he cut himself off and anxiously rubbed the back of his neck. “Apologies, you don’t need a long-winded explanation. If you’re happy to share, you can do so whenever you’re ready.”

You consider protesting and telling him that you find his rambling cute, but you decide not to dwell on it for his sake. You list the codes you remember from the Academy. You keep talking, relaying any tangential intel relating to access codes. If it’s irrelevant, Tech doesn’t stop you.

He is silent for a few moments analysing the data you’ve given him. You watch him closely, admiring the way his brow furrows and his lips purse while he’s concentrating.

“You trust me then?” you venture to say. You play with your hands in your lap. “Even though I was with the Empire?”

“You’re helping us now,” Tech replies, as if it’s obvious. He is still inputting data into the datapad he is holding when he continues, “You trust us, it would seem. And we were soldiers programmed upon our creation to destroy the Republic.”

You fumble over your next words.

“That’s – it’s entirely different.”

“And from my perspective, all that matters is where you are now,” he states with finality.

“Well,” you say shyly, “I like where I am.”

Tech smirks despite himself, briefly glancing up at you from his datapad.

You hold his gaze for a moment, before settling into a comfortable silence. You sit in next to him for several minutes, revelling in his closeness like a brezak basking under the Zygerrian sun. It’s only when you notice yourself blushing like a teenager that you decide to make yourself useful and actually help with repairs like you promised.

++++++++++++++++++++

“Would you mind holding this wire out of the way for me while I solder the capacitors for the localised memory bank?” Tech calls, breaking your concentration. The illumination device you were repairing could wait.

You have no idea what Tech means, if his string of words means anything, and you survey his makeshift workbench for a hint. Several panels are detached, limply dangling from a few brightly coloured wires. Tech is focusing his attention on a large panel that is plugged into a cylindrical storage device.

“Maker, that’s a big data stick,” you can’t help but mutter.

Tech makes an incoherent choking sound.

You do as requested and lean over his shoulder to take hold of the wire he specified between your thumb and forefinger. The fabric of your sleeves brushes against his shoulder armour and it feels as though there is a static shift in the air, like the air around you is alive and humming.

And Tech gulps with the contact. He types a few sets of numbers into his datapad with excess force, seriously testing the build quality of the device. His posture is especially rigid as focuses on testing the wires currently in his lap.

Your pulse is racing. It’s as if each second that passes without a confession threatens to rip apart the very fabric of reality.

“Tech?” He has to feel this too, right? “Why...why did you stay behind today?” you ask, careful to keep your voice even. You need him to say it, admit that he feels it, too. You’re desperate for it.

“You can let go now,” he replied, pointedly ignoring your question.

You let go of the wire, but make no move to step away from him. You’re acutely aware of yourself right now and suddenly self-conscious: about the deep shade of crimson enveloping your face, the way you’re breathing, the clamminess you can feel on your palms. You hope you smell alright and silently pray that any traces of caf on your breath are long gone.

Several seconds pass before Tech looks up, over his shoulder at you. His face briefly flickers with concern.

“Your flushed features and increased heart rate indicates that you are nervous,” he remarks.

Maker, is it that obvious, you cringe.

Your mouth is dry and you contemplate making an excuse, but your brain does not want to cooperate.

“Sometimes I –,” you begin. Void, here I go. “Sometimes I get nervous around you,” you admit, attempting to make your confession sound as casual as possible. You bite your bottom lip in a way that you hope will be interpreted as sensual, or, at the very least, cute.

And Tech? Tech is flustered. Like visibly shaken, blushing furiously, two-steps-away-from-hyperventilating, kind of flustered.

“Please do not be nervous,” he responds tightly. Each word is taking considerable effort to be spoken. “I already told you: we trust you. I am not a threat to you.”

The poor guy. There’s no way he can really be misinterpreting that –.

“No, no, it’s a good kind of nervous,” you attempt to clarify.

“Nervousness is not conducive to high quality work,” Tech chokes out.

“No, I mean like giddy. I feel giddy around you.”

Come on, Tech.

“Would you like a chair–.”

“Stars, Tech, I like you!”

Tech...errors. He attempts to start several sentences with no success before mumbling an excuse that he has to go, “fix the reverse polarity capacitive inductor,” which, to your knowledge, is definitely not a real thing.

So maybe that could have gone better. All things considered, he did seem affected by your admission. On the other hand, he also left the room entirely.

Your face burns with embarrassment and, hey, maybe this backwater planet could make a decent home. Maybe the swamp water would be safe for consumption and you could spend the rest of your days foraging for swamp... berries. Sure, it might be a little uncomfortable, but no less uncomfortable than staying here for one more second.

And this is why you don’t admit your feelings to anyone. Ever.

Ugh. You were so confident, too. You squeeze your eyes shut, willing yourself to transport to another star system.

The door to the ‘fresher shuts, followed by a slight scuffle of feet, and a thunk that sounds decidedly like a head hitting the door.

You briefly consider leaving the ship to attempt to meet up with the rest of the Bad Batch. It’s been far too long since you’ve breathed fresh, clean, air and you feel a second wave of self-pity wash over you as you contemplate the thought of breathing in the smell of Wrecker’s feet for several more weeks in the Marauder’s circulated air. They hadn’t been gone longer than a standard hour and there was a clear path to get into town. You could still salvage the day, you could still stretch your legs–

‘Oh you want to know why I suddenly decided to join you, Hunter, after promising I’d help fix the ship? Funny story, I was trying to seduce your brother and he rejected me!’

You physically cringe at that. On second thought, maybe just pretending this didn’t happen would be the easier option. Lesser of two evils and all that.

Well, you’ve endured worse situations than this. Swamp berries, if they exist, probably won’t offer enough sustenance anyway, you conclude. You turn your attention to fixing several access panels that require little to no attention.

++++++++++++++++++++

It takes a long while for Tech to exit the ‘fresher. The door opens with a hiss and you stiffen, not looking up until he briskly walks past you and resumes his makeshift work station in the cockpit. Once he is seated and his back is facing you and you can hear the rhythmic tapping of his fingers on his datapad, you allow your entire body to relax.

You look back down to your newest project: fixing the swivel action on a chair. You’re not entirely sure if the chair needed to swivel, or whether it was supposed to, but it does now. At least Omega would have fun with that.

“Can you spare another minute?” Tech says after a considerable stretch of silence.

His comment catches you off-guard. It’s fine, it’s fine, you are just going to pretend like nothing happened. You can just carry on helping with actual repairs like you promised.

“I’m coming,” you say, while putting your entire weight into tightening a screw.

Tech coughs slightly.

“The, uh, I need your help with the cum system. The comm system!” he stutters.

Your eyes widen and decide it’s best not to comment, furiously thinking about the fact that Tech rarely makes mistakes. You wipe your hands on your trousers and stride over to the cockpit where Tech is fiddling with some wires on his lap.

“Take these,” he says while coiling a piece of wire to make a conductor. He pushes right through the awkwardness and places a handful of resistors in your outstretched hand.

You stand there in silence for several moments before you drum your fingers on the back of his chair. He makes no move to immediately utilise the resistors, so you resign yourself to stand there and watch him work. (You suppress a sigh – you wish you weren’t attracted to him at this moment, but here you are, drawn in by his confidence and fixated on watching his nimble fingers work their magic.)

Normally, you’d have already lost your patience. But not now, not when you are trying to decipher just what exactly Tech was trying to accomplish by calling you over and ignoring you. And that’s when you realise that Tech either forgot you were there or forgot to give you whichever menial task he originally intended.

But there’s absolutely no chance that Tech makes two mistakes within the same standard year, never mind two mistakes within the same afternoon.

You start to wonder if he even has any use for the resistors. Your knowledge of technology is limited, but you really don’t see how they’d be useful with his current task. Maybe this is Tech’s uncharacteristically inefficient way to try to initiate conversation. You really hope you’re not completely misreading the situation, but it’s not like you have any pride left to lose.

“Why did you stay behind today, Tech?” you ask quietly, voice tinged with apprehension and perhaps an unmistakable eagerness. You phrase it more like a statement than a question this time.

He continues to fidget, his leg bouncing anxiously as he works.

“I did some research,” he blurts. “Regarding intimacy between human males and human females.”

Huh.

“I read the specifics on how to kiss,” he continues, “but I fear that I am a bit out of my depth as to how I am supposed to initiate it.” He is still fussing with the wires in his lap, not quite able to look up at you.

“You...want to kiss?” you surmise, your heart thumping wildly in your chest. “Me?”

“Very much so.”

A grin breaks across your face and the sharp sting of Tech’s previous rejection immediately melts away. You deposit the handful of resistors in a tray containing various tools Tech had been using throughout the day before taking a tentative step forward from behind the chair. He cranes his neck to look at you, an unfamiliar expression that you’re not quite able to decipher written across his face.

You reach your hand out to caress his cheek, and sliding your hand down to his chin to guide it upwards as you bend down to bring your lips to his. The kiss is chaste, at first, but Tech proves himself a quick study as slightly parts his lips to deepen the kiss. His goggles nudge against your face and you’re pretty sure you’re leaving a greasy cheek print on one of them.

You pull away to gauge his reaction.

“Was that... satisfactory?” he asks, seemingly dazed. His eyes are hooded and still focused on your lips.

“It was perfect.” You offer a small smile.

He removes the goggles to clean one side of them with a nearby cloth. So you were leaving a cheek print. Once his goggles are back in place, he’s looking at you like he can’t quite believe you’re real, his golden brown eyes blinking owlishly at you.

“I apologise for leaving you earlier. I did not anticipate you returning my affections – it did not seem probable. And I was, regrettably, not prepared,” he mumbles.

“Probable?” It’s your turn to malfunction. You want to usher a thousand reassurances at once.

“Well, no.” Tech shifts his weight uncomfortably, not quite able to meet your eyes. “Hunter or Crosshair usually are the ones who capture the affections of –,”

“I like your goggles,” you interrupt in a rush before you surge forward to press your lips against his, hoping to convey just how much you return his affections. It’s a messy, urgent kiss that Tech returns with equal fervour. His fingers find their way into your hair, pulling you closer.

When you finally break the kiss, you straighten your back and take both of his hands in yours and take small, hesitant steps backwards, encouraging Tech to stand. As he does, the project he is working on slides off of his lap and clatters to the floor. He pays it no attention as he closes the distance between you, his eyes darkened with lust. He kisses you with renewed purpose as his hands wrap around your waist, roaming across your body, before they settle firmly on your ass.

Your hips grind into his codpiece and Tech lets out a low groan that goes straight to your core. He moves to kiss the curve of your neck, sucking at the delicate skin and making you squirm. The dampness between your legs becomes apparent and you press yourself closer to him, desperate for friction where you need it the most. As if he can read your mind, he trails a hand from your ass and places it between your legs, grazing over your clit before cupping your cunt. You involuntarily rock into his hand and moan into his mouth, hardly recognising the sounds you’re making.

Tech’s hand abruptly stills as he draws back to meet your eyes. His expression mirrors yours: searching wide eyes filled with longing, a silent acknowledgement passes between you as you reach the point of no return.

And in that moment you are struck with the urge to want nothing more than his cock in your mouth.

“Can I?” you blurt, glancing downward, hoping he is able to intuit exactly what you are suggesting in that moment.

“You may.” You allow the grammatical correction to slip by. “But I’ve never–,” he begins.

You don’t break eye contact and you begin to drop to your knees. He’s looking at you with his eyes wide, mouth slack. Tech’s bulged codpiece is mere inches from your face, and it’s in that moment that you realise that you have no idea how to undress this man.

And this, this is when you start to worry.

Does it have a latch? Does it even come off?

Your eyes dart from left to right looking for some sort of hint as to how it could be removed. You’re half tempted to just plant a smooch on the armour or the kiss inside of his thigh and pretend that all of this was intentional.

“I can get that,” Tech helpfully chimes in, blessedly oblivious to your internal struggle. He removes the pelvic plate with ease and, to your relief, you can see the shape of his erection straining under a layer of thick black fabric. Black fabric that conforms to his body shape exceedingly well. You reach out to feel his length, gently cupping his balls through the fabric before applying more pressure as you palm his shaft. He soft groan escapes his lips.

It catches you a little off guard, actually, to see him so hard. Knowing he’s been hard underneath his armour this entire time. Wondering when else he’s been hard and you had been none the wiser.

His cock has an attractive silhouette – it’s thicker than you expected and you can feel the patch of pre-cum that dampens the black fabric near his tip. You reach for his waistband and pull it down before slowly wrapping a hand around his shaft. He hisses with the contact and brings a white-knuckled fist to his lips.

You peer up at him through your lashes and you lick your lips, preparing to tease him a bit before taking him as deep as you can manage.

And that’s when something inside Tech snaps.

He looks down at you with wild eyes and places his hand on the back of your head to guide your mouth to his cock, apparently unable to continue the role of a passive observer for any longer. Clearly intent at putting his newfound research to good use. You lick a wet stripe from the base to the tip, before taking him in your mouth, the pre-cum tangy on your tongue. His grip tightens on your hair the same time he tilts his hips forward to push his cock further and you hollow your cheeks, sucking hard enough to make Tech groan and his knees buckle. He braces himself against the back of the pilot’s chair, captivated at the sight your mouth stretched around his length.

You begin to bob your head in a steady rhythm, taking him as deep as you’re able. You drag your tongue and press it flush on the underside of his cock, looking up at Tech with wide doe eyes, batting your eyelashes prettily as he struggles to maintain composure. You continue your pace until sweat starts to bead at his temple and his breathing becomes less controlled.

Patience isn’t your strong point and you’re too pent up not to touch yourself. You bring your free hand down your trousers, between your thighs, running your fingers through your wet folds and hum at the sensation. Tech’s hips stutter with the vibrations and his face contorts in what looks like a pained grimace. He takes a miniature step back and your lips leave his cock with a pop. He’s breathing heavily now and his weeping cock is painfully hard, his balls tight.

“I don’t want to finish in your mouth, mesh’la,” he pants, voice low.

You nod dumbly, currently unable to form a coherent thought or tear your eyes away from his erect length, only inches away from your face.

Tech takes hold of both of your forearms, helping you get to your feet, before wrapping his hands around your thighs, picking you up with surprising ease. You lock your thighs around his torso as he strides over to press you against one of the auxiliary control panels adjacent to the co-pilot’s chair in the cockpit. The incline on the panel is steep and the pressure of his hips against yours is the only thing keeping you from sliding down.

“Let me taste you,” Tech groans against your ear.

You let out a frustrated whine and desperately move to unclasp your trousers as Tech works to open your shirt. You shudder once the cool air hits your sweat-dampened skin and Tech messily palms your exposed breast while nipping at your neck. He helps you shimmy out of your clothing while holding you in firmly place before discarding them on the floor of he Marauder.

And this is how you find yourself spread eagle on the Marauder's control panel in possibly the most undignified position you’ve ever been in.

He goes to remove his goggles and you stop him.

“If they’re not uncomfortable for you, I’d like for you to leave them on.” He quirks a brow at you, quizzical. “What? I told you that they’re cute.”

His face evolves from sceptical to bashful in a few moments.

“Very well, then. I can leave them on.”

Tech moves his hands under your thighs as he lowers himself, draping your legs across each of his shoulders with surprising gentleness for a man who looks like he is ready to devour you. Once he’s on his knees and comfortably supporting your weight, keeping you pressed against the console, he places an open-mouthed kiss on the inside of your thigh.

“A-are you okay with this?” you manage to stutter out. It’s not like you haven’t pictured his head between your thighs before, but something about his head actually being between your thighs fills you with a nervousness you hadn’t anticipated.

He mumbles his assurances against your clit. He begins with slow, languid licks and you suck in a sharp breath as you feel yourself craving more and have to stop yourself from violently bucking your hips up.

Okay, so he’s actually really good at this. You know you really shouldn’t be that surprised, Tech is nothing if not thorough with his research and it’s, er, practical applications. Any thoughts of humour at Tech’s expense are, however, ripped from your mind when he sinks a single finger inside your cunt. His finger curls with a precision that only Tech could manage and you moan in encouragement as he pumps it in and out.

You squirm when he hits the spot that makes you want to beg for more and you feel your bare ass hit a button on the console. The next thing you hear is a soft swish swish sound of the Marauder's screen wipers that you inadvertently turned on. Mercifully, it doesn’t break Tech’s concentration and his hands continue to grip your hips, holding your cunt to his face.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, please don’t stop,” you chant. You writhe again and another button sounds its activation. Nothing immediately makes itself known. You hope it’s not something like a proton torpedo firing into the swampy area the Marauder landed in. Not because there’s anything nearby, but because you’ll die if Tech stops here.

He moans into your core as he brings a hand down to grip his leaking cock, desperate for some friction.

“Kriff,” you grunt at the sight of him fucking his fist, only to hear Tech utter the same exclamation at the same time.

“Is there an echo in here or something?” You smile at him, offering a half-laugh before your face contorts with pleasure once again and you hiss through your teeth.

“Yes?” a new, tinny voice chimes in on the overhead speaker system. “This is Echo... You’ve, uh, turned on the short range comm system.”

You knew Tech was a good soldier, but the reflexes in which he slammed the short range comm transmitter with his free hand surprised you. He didn’t move himself from between your thighs and skilfully cut off the transmission while continuing to work your clit with his tongue and your cunt with his finger.

Before you could die from embarrassment and wonder just how much Echo and the rest of the Batch heard, Tech adds another finger and your entire body jerks and tenses.

“I’ve – ah, right there – Maker, that feels good. I’ve never been with anyone who is patient enough to let me come,” you manage to say through gritted teeth.

“My research indicated that it can take around 20 standard minutes for women to orgasm if properly relaxed, why would others stop prematurely?” Tech replies, only briefly removing his mouth from your cunt to reply.

“Selfishness?” you guess.

Tech seemed to take your admission (and ability to form sentences) personally, clearly intent on rendering you incapacitated. He returns to his attention to your clit and maintains his rhythm, teasing a third finger near your entrance. You whine at the sensation and move to hold Tech’s head in place, because if he stops now, there’s no way you’ll ever forgive him. The pressure that’s been mounting in your core finally, finally peaks and your entire body tenses as you surrender to your climax.

“Tech,” you whine, unable to formulate thoughts, let alone words.

He assures you with a soft groan and tightens his grip on your hip. He can feel your walls clenching around his fingers as he guides you through your climax.

As you come down from your orgasm, you feel like you’ve spent a year in bacta. You can’t move. Honestly, your bones are like Andorian jelly. The feeling is only temporary, however, as you’re overcome with the desire – no, need – to be filled.

“In me,” you urge. “Now.”

He adjusts his goggles and looks at you, spread out, completely ready for him.

“Lie back then.”

Tech settles between your thighs and nudges his cock head against your entrance. He takes a breath to steady himself, rubbing his length through your folds, covering it in your arousal.

“So wet and ready for me, mesh’la.”

Your hands wildly grasp at his chest plate, fingernails scratching along the plastoid, desperate to hold onto anything to anchor you. You meet his mouth with a graceless kiss, before he finally sinks into you.

“You’re tight,” he grits out.

He waits a few moments letting you adjust to his size before he begins to move. He restrains himself, slowly rolling his hips as your cunt stretches around his length.

“More,” you plead, breathlessly. “Please.”

Your encouragement is all he needs before he snaps his hips against yours, setting an unrelenting rhythm. He rocks into you harder with each thrust of his hips, his plastoid leg places slapping your skin.

“You feel so good, cyar'ika,” he pants. You surge upwards to greet his lips with a messy kiss, which only spurs him on to fuck you faster. “You’re, ah, taking me so well.”

“Fuck –,” you whine.

His grip tightens and his whole body starts to tense – he’s dangerously close to coming undone. And that’s when you notice his pace start to slow, his movements clearly distracted.

“Tech?” you mumble. You focus your eyes on his face and he looks dazed, you can practically hear him thinking. You’re about to ask him what’s wrong, but he doesn’t give you any time to panic.

“Elevate your hips by seven to ten degrees,” he states through heavy breaths.

“What?” Definitely not what you were expecting him to say.

Tech seems unfazed by your apparent annoyance. He wordlessly repositions himself, grabbing both of your hips and raising them slightly, holding your body up so it’s just the sharp incline of the console and Tech’s hands keeping you in place.

He began thrusting in earnest again, his eyes screwing shut in pleasure. And, Maker, he was right. The new angle hits a spot that makes your toes curl and you lose the ability to speak almost instantly and mewl helplessly as Tech fucks into you.

You made an undignified noise as you gripped his bicep, desperate to hold onto something, feeling the pressure mount in your core. With Tech’s hands busy holding you in place as he maintains a brutal pace, you bring a hand down to your clit, still wet with spit and your own essence. You barely have to touch yourself before you feel your body screaming for release.

“’M coming,” is all the warning you are able to give him before your cunt spasms around his twitching cock as your vision whites out. Tech grunts at the sensation, unable to hold his own climax off any longer.

“Where do you want me to –,” he grates out.

“Anywhere,” you cut him off, still feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm. “Just want to feel you.”

“Fuck, mesh’la, I’m going to come,” Tech groans, desperately chasing his release with harsh thrusts. His hips forcefully buck into you before his cock stiffens and he spills himself inside of you. He buries his face in your neck, slowly pumping you full of his cum, before he slumps against you. “Bid jate par me,” he mumbles into your neck, barely audible. “Gotal par me.”

You don’t know Mando’a, but whatever he is saying, the way he is saying it, sends a pleasant chill over your body.

You’re both still breathing heavily when Tech gingerly places you back down with a surprising gentleness for someone who had just been fucking you within an inch of your life. He’s in no rush to remove himself from you, but when his softened cock does slip out and his cum leaks out of you and onto the console, he helps you slide down. When your feet touch the floor, your legs wobble slightly and Tech has to grasp your forearms to steady you, softly chuckling at the state you’re in.

And when you look at him, he looks positively debauched. Sated, but debauched. You probably look worse.

In one swift motion he bends down, brings an arm down under your knees, and lifts you up. You wrap your arms around your neck while he carries you to his bunk. His cool armour against your overheated skin is a welcome sensation and you press yourself closer.

“Your research paid off,” you mumble into his chest as he sets you down on his bed.

“Please do not act so surprised by that.”

++++++++++++++++++++

You and Tech aren’t quite finished with the repairs by the time the Batch return hours later, long after the moons have risen and the bioluminescent plants surrounding the ship have begun to glow. If the squad notice you’re sitting a bit too close to Tech, your thigh pressing comfortably against his, they don’t say anything.

Neither of you were expecting to defile the Marauder all day and Tech was frantically fixing the lever on a storage hatch access panel, attempting to make up for lost time.

“Wrecker!” Echo shouts. “Clean up after yourself, for kriff’s sake.”

“Why?” Wrecker drawls, stomping towards the cockpit. “What did I do this time?”

“You’ve spilled your juice on the console again, all the keys are stuck in place.”

The access lever snaps clean off in Tech’s hands.