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#I really hope this is just out of context
olliemnjones · 1 day
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Hey there! Your actually one of my inspiration for art! I really like how realistically shaded the backgrounds are and everything! Do you have any tips for shading in digital art?
Hey, I appreciate it, thank you! There are lots of things that go in to making a good background but this is the main idea that made backgrounds click for me:
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Hopefully you'll agree that of these two shapes, the one on the right feels more 'real', despite the fact neither of these shapes are meant to represent anything. The shape on the right just has a noise filter and a faint light-to-dark gradient from top to bottom. Those two things create movement on a small scale (the noise) and on a large scale (the gradient). The presence of that sort of movement is what gets your brain to register something as real.
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Here I've taken the shape and given it a new environment, a colour and then a gradient. The shape with the movement feels a little more natural in its environment, I think.
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Then directly on top of that, I can start creating small scale movement, like the noise, through brush strokes. At first (on the left) the brushstrokes look quite out of place and unnatural. But as you work in to the surface more, creating more and more overlapping brushstrokes of various sizes and directions - all while trying to maintain the sense of that gradient - the strokes will start to more naturally integrate in to each other, creating a bed on to which other elements will lay naturally.
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Here I give this abstract shape some context by painting some cracks and decay on it. These new elements create movement by giving our eyes more shapes to latch on to and jump between. I then added a pattern to it. This pattern adds more movement and reinforces the light effect by adhering to the gradient (getting darker at the same rate the wall does).
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You can see I use this idea all through this picture. I make sure in any section there is always some kind of movement of light, whether its left-to-right, or top-to-bottom, corner-to-corner etc. Patterns like the woodgrain on the drawer or the textile of the curtain create additional movement and reinforce the dimensions of their respective forms by adhering to them. Bit rambly but I hope there's something useful in there!
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042502 · 3 days
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ᰔ ˚. ࣪ ⊹ christopher or carrington.
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𐙚 ˚. ࣪ ⊹ . . . pairing : chris sturniolo x fem!reader.
𐙚 ˚. ࣪ ⊹ . . . summary : They link you to Carrington for interacting with him on stream and later a video is leaked where you appear with Chris, your relationship with Chris was private. Carrington intervenes and this makes Chris insecure.
𐙚 ˚. ࣪ ⊹ . . . content : established couple, private relationship, jealous Chris! Carrigton! Streamer! Reader.
𐙚 ˚. ࣪ ⊹ . . . notes : My first language is not English. I spent about three weeks receiving this because I didn't really like it, Now it's much better than the main idea. I hope you enjoy it. I leave you the masterlist below.
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“New romance! Y/n you are dating Christopher Sturniolo!” You slide your finger across the screen. “Christopher Sturniolo and Y/n confirm their relationship” you slide your finger again. “Y/n and…” again. “The streamer and the YouTuber…” again. “Carrington…” you turn off your cell phone to throw it away from you.
Chris looks at you from his desk and you look away from his, he lets out a loud sigh and leaves his position to go to you on the bed.
“Don't worry, this is just a moment, it will pass and everyone will forget this” he holds your hand in his, caressing it gently.
“It is not something that is easily forgotten… it is a controversy, you know very well how everyone gets when it is a controversy” You press your face into his chest and Chris wraps his arms around you, giving you warmth.
“Have you spoken to Carrington?” Without moving from your position you answer no.
“No, not yet” Chris lets go of you and you step back to look at him.
“I'm sorry for the way you found out everything.” 
A video had been leaked of a meeting between friends where in the background you see yourself talking animatedly with your boyfriend and suddenly he approaches you hugging you.
The video was filtered by mistake, soon your social networks and Chris's exploded, even those of his brothers. You and Chris decided that nothing would be removed since it was everywhere. Although they still haven't clarified anything. 
You haven't been streaming since, Chris has recorded the videos and hasn't answered any questions about it.
Today you are in Chris's room trying to resolve this situation. You had been in a relationship with Chris for four months now and on your part you had distanced yourself from Carrignton quite a bit. Right now on TikTok there are thousands of chimenteros commenting on the situation. 
Speculating about the connection you have with both of them and so on, some say that you cheated on Carrington with Christopher, Others simply say that you are not dating either of them and are only friends with both of them, others that you are dating Carrignton and that the leaked video is taken out of context. 
The truth is, you've flirted with Carrington and he's flirted with you, but you never progressed beyond that. There have been a lot of comments on Instagram posts and sometimes he would write in the chat of your stream, but they never came out officially. 
One day you just got to know Chris better and the chemistry between the two of them flowed naturally, they started dating and it was all very private, they felt very comfortable that way. Of course you had gradually stopped flirting with Carrington and distanced yourself from him quite a bit.
They hadn't gone beyond a few kisses at some parties they both went to and that's it. You never clarified your relationship with Carrignton, you assume it's because Chris suddenly appeared and everything changed.
“I should have talked to him before… do you think he took it the wrong way?” You ask Chris and he thinks for a moment before answering.
“They were kind of a thing, no labels, still I guess he would be a little upset.” 
After a few weeks you talked to Carrington, things were fine. He wasn't upset, although he acknowledged that he had feelings for you and felt bad for not moving forward when he had the chance.
Regarding your relationship with Chris, they decided not to give statements. That this would be better, only you two should know the truth.
You were on a stream when you read Carrington's messages in the chat, many of your subscribers were excited to see him there again and so were you.
“Hey! Hey! Carrington!” You greet him with a wide smile.
The broadcast takes its normal course, talking about various topics and new video games that you might play. Then you read Carrington's message again asking them to do a collaboration soon.
“Of course, write to me to confirm” you were happy to still be able to maintain your friendship with him. 
What you didn't expect was for Chris to not be so happy about it.
“So you'll do a broadcast with Carrington?” He had a neutral expression and his arms were crossed over his chest.
“Yes, I'm excited to do it. I have a lot of good ideas that we can do together, tell me what you think” you sit next to Chris and your fingers move quickly on your cell phone in search of the ideas you had to show your boyfriend.
Chris just helped you, but he wasn't very happy with the collaboration. He saw you very happy and didn't want to ruin that.
On the day of the broadcast, Chris logged in and saw you sitting next to Carrington, both of you looking good and happy. They were building Legos on the broadcast, that was the idea Chris told him that sounded interesting. 
“Hey because you already have that almost finished” Carrington points to your practically finished piece.
“You're too slow a loser,” you mock. 
During the broadcast they talk about different topics and sometimes tell some anecdotes that happened together.
“Do you remember Tara's party?” Carrington asks you, as he joins two pieces together.
“Yes, what with that?” You read the instructions carefully as you speak.
“You should tell them what happened that day” you look up at your companion and frown.
"What are you taking about?" 
“Wow! It hurts me that you will forget it” Carrington puts his hand to his chest, feigning pain. “That's a good story, y/n had drunk too much that day” he starts to tell and you laugh.
“If my parents see this broadcast and find out that I got dirty before I was 21, they will beat me,” you joke.
“Come on, you're 20, it's not the end of the world if you drink before you're 21. The joke is that you were so drunk that she was more affectionate than usual” when you hear those words you freeze.
"Yes, I guess so. Hey, how are you doing with the lego?” You try to divert the topic of conversation.
“Wait I want to tell this, she just jumped on me and kissed me. "It was very crazy, I didn't expect him to do something like that." 
"Shut up!" You scream.
The transmission tried to take a quick turn, although everything was already uncomfortable, you finished the transmission and you were very upset.
"Why did you say that?" You ask Carrington.
“It's just a funny story, there's nothing wrong with it.” Carrington had a wide smile as if what he was doing wasn't a bad thing.
“No, you know I'm with Chris and he watches my streams” Carrington interrupts you.
"That? Didn't you tell him that you kissed me that night? Wait, you and him were already dating at that time? Wow! I didn’t expect that from you” his words only made you more upset.
“I want you to leave now, go” 
Carrington left your house, but before he left he told you that you better talk to Chris if you didn't want your relationship with him to end. 
You knew they would argue, because you brought it up. You call him on the phone and ask him if he saw the broadcast, Chris tells you that he did and you ask him to come see you so you can talk.
Chris accepts and goes to see you, when he entered he had a neutral expression. He hasn't said a single word, he just walked in and sat down. 
“Chris, I'm sorry…” 
“I'm upset, I asked you many times if something had happened between you and him and you denied it to me. "I asked you if you liked it and you said no." 
"I do not like him!" You say and Chris clicks his tongue.
“Then why did you kiss him when you were with me? Things happen to you with him” Chris's voice was hard, he was very serious and his lips moved violently accompanying his words. 
“He says I did it, but I honestly don't remember doing it… it's a stupid excuse but I seriously don't remember it.” Your eyes were teary, since you've been dating Chris you've never had arguments like this.
You never heard Chris yell at you, even Chris had never seen you shed tears like this. 
“Why did you agree to collaborate with him?” Chris asks you now in a lower tone, but you could still feel the anger in every word.
“Because I thought we were friends and that we could just sit down and talk.” There was silence in the room. “Chris, I swear I have no other intentions with Carrignton, I don't even want to be his friend anymore. "I love you very much and I don't want to lose what we have." 
“I love you too, but it's hard for me to know that.” 
“I'm sorry, I don't remember what I did that day.” 
Chris stands up, stays in front of you for a few seconds, but walks forward, still passing you to leave your house. 
You don't know exactly how things are with Chris now, he's just gone and you haven't seen each other since that day. They haven't even texted each other, you could send him one but you know he won't respond so you're waiting for him to… but something tells you he won't either.
They're not finished, or that's what you think.
However, you had to continue with the transmissions. The chat was still asking about Carrington and so you decided to talk.
“I'm going to talk about this only once and we won't talk about it again, I'm no longer friends with Carrington, I'm not interested in being one, I don't want to talk to him again, absolutely nothing. I thought we were friends, but we're not. What he did was hurt me and I don't want people like that in my life right now.” The chat was confused, I didn't quite understand the point why you were distancing yourself from him again.
Later you receive a call from a close friend, who surprises you by saying that she has something to tell you about Carrington.
“I just found out about all this about Carrington, Enzo just told me that he saw how Carrington kissed you that night. He took advantage of the fact that she was very drunk to do it, because he knew you wouldn't push him away and you still pushed him away screaming at him that you were dating Chris.” Your heart beats fast with the words you just heard. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you this, but Enzo just told me. I'm upset with him for hiding it, you know if he knew I wouldn't let him.  
You thank him and grab your things to go see Chris and tell him everything. When you get home you look for him desperately.
“Chris?!” You walk into the room and he was in his headphones while using his laptop. When he sees your body standing in front of his door, he lowers his headphones and mutters something you don't understand. “We have to talk…” he doesn't utter any words. "Please."
Chris pushes his computer away and you both sit on the bed, Chris's eyes scanning you carefully. He had not seen you for many days and inside he was dying to hug you, to take your hand in his.
“I spoke with Leila, she told me that she spent that night with Carrington. She went with her boyfriend Enzo and he saw Carrignton and me that night, he says that Carrington was the one who kissed me and that I pushed him away to yell at him that I was with you” 
Chris hasn't said anything at all since you arrived, your eyes fluttering as you look at him, you start to feel them burning from holding back tears. On the other hand, Chris is motionless. 
“Chris?” You murmur, trying to gain courage, but your voice breaks.
“I believe you,” he finally speaks and your tears run down your cheeks. “I believe you because Enzo has written to me and told me… I was waiting for him to come here” 
"Because?" you ask and wipe your tears with the sleeve of your sweatshirt.
“Why did I want to kiss you?” He holds your face in his hands and joined his lips with yours. “I'm sorry, you reacted very badly… I just wanted to break that idiot's nose.” 
“Shhh” you silence him and kiss him again and then hug him tightly. "I love you" 
"I love you too" 
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𐙚 ˚. ࣪ ⊹ . . . notes : Thanks for reading I hope you like it, if you want to be part of the taglist leave me a comment below. Remember to like and share with your friends!
𐙚 ˚. ࣪ ⊹ . . . taglist : @luverboychris @l34n @sturncakez @imwetforyourmom @hotreaderliin @tillies33ssss @sturnioloxlver @jnkvivi @stvrniolowh0re @adirtylittleheart @melonjollyranche @sssoniaswiftt @ecliphttlunar @jetaimevous @khxna @kiliaisinnnthehouseee @luvr4miya @xoxotaylynn @chr1sgirl4life
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gyuswhore · 21 hours
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Never Shall We Die (3; final)
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«« Nothing is too outlandish when it’s a life of liberty on the line. »» 
PAIRING: kwon soonyoung x reader
PLAYLIST: right here!
pirate lingo glossary (pls refer!)
SYNOPSIS: Deadliest pirate on the high seas or a damn fool? The stupid King and his men have snatched Hoshi's precious pirate ship with their too clean, too soft hands; grounds to question his own vices. Except, when he and his crew land in the quarters of a navy ship, revenge on their roster, they stumble across a princess in its gallows. Hoshi wonders if he's just struck gold, or if you'd become the final tread to his downfall.
GENRES: pirate!au, enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut [minor dni], some pirates of the carribean vibes but ? idk
WORD COUNT [full fic]: 48.1k
Part 1: 17.07k | Part 2: 15.2k | Part 3 [final] : 15.8k
@highvern's out of context comment box: new fear unlocked: hoshi with explosives, victorian ankle moment, HATE HIM (need him carnally), hoshi covered in soapy water would distract me enough, strip for me pirate mingyu [hes litrally taking off his jacket], your honor hes a bitch, freaks!, mingyu crushes hoshi's head like a grape, WONWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, massive dick, the way i literally gasped like an old scandalized woman
masterlist
WARNINGS: slowburn, plot heavy, happy ending bc no angsty endings in this household, being taken hostage, knives, bombs, and guns, mentions of blood, mentions of SA (does not happen and it is not explicitly mentioned), alcohol, mentions of death (patricide), hoshi is ✨selectively moral✨but kind of moral nonetheless, side character death, [pls lmk if im missing something its alot] smut tags: hoshi loves thighs, corruption kink to the mAX, clit stimulation, oral (f. receiving), breast play, p in v sex (unprotected, 1800s contraception will make you prefer it but pls dont do this irl), making out
[AN]: final part oh my god if youve read the other parts up till now, THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU i hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as i loved writing it, im really proud of this fic and im so happy so many of you have enjoyed it so far. @highvern betaing as always ty for not giving up on me. AS ALWAYS, PLS TELL ME YOUR THOTS IN THE RBS OR THE REPLIES OR SEND ME AN ASK LITERALLY WTV MUAH MUAH HAPPY READING <3
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THIS IS THE NICEST PRISON Hoshi has ever been in, which was saying something, because he had been in quite a lot of prisons. 
But it was uncomfortable nonetheless, six grown men tied up and shoved into a crouching space to be done with as the men that prowled above pleased. 
Hoshi would be lying if he said he hadn’t had to restrain from pushing some of those sorry soldiers into the ice waters beyond the glaciers. He had resisted, the crew had resisted, but just enough to convince them of their unwillingness. 
Hoshi had realised early on that there was no possible way of getting aboard Tigress without somehow climbing aboard the King’s boat first. The king wasn’t about to simply hand Hoshi’s ship over, and there was no indication that they'd wait till after nightfall to depart. 
Hoshi also knew that the King would refuse to have him die so easily in the waters of the Green Islands, his pride depended on it. He imagines the man drawing up the specifics of the most gruesome execution the Kingdom would ever see. Hoshi was counting on it. 
The bounds could’ve been broken out of and the locks somehow picked, but Hoshi also knew that he had to wait. Wait for you to find him first. 
“What’s taking her so long?” Jun asks. He’d been the most anxious out of all, the shaking feet and restless moving making it clear. 
“The bomb won’t…go off still strapped to her, will it?” Minghao asks and Hoshi isn’t quite sure he wants to know the answer. 
“It shouldn’t. Not until she pulls the tab. But…”
“But?” Hoshi whips around. “Why is there a but? You were supposed to make sure there was no but!”
“Big bomb, more boom, less predictable!” 
“Are you sure we can’t break out and look for her ourselves?” Mingyu grumbles, the most compromised with his longer limbs folded in uncomfortable positions.
“The minute they know we’re loose they’ll swarm her. There won’t be a way to get to her, not without fighting off every last bastard on this ship. They’ve taken our stuff too, we don’t stand a chance.”
They did, actually, stand a chance. But that was only if they were to break away and head straight for Tigress that was empty and standing right beside this very ship. But they couldn’t. Hoshi couldn’t. Not without taking you with him. 
Nobody dares to suggest the easier route, and he doubts it’s just because of what he wants. 
But panic was beginning to trickle into Hoshi’s veins anyway, the closed off brig refusing to give him any indication of the time of day. 
The sun was only beginning to set when they were taken to the ship, and he knew they were near done for if they didn’t finish what they started before nightfall. He can’t tell how long it’s been, and it eats away at his insides. 
Please be okay. 
And then he hears it, the sound of a body hitting the floors with a loud thud, a chortle of air before it’s knocked out. He finds himself sitting up straighter, pressing his hands to bars of the prison, trying to peer out the narrow walkway that leads to the doors. 
And then you appear in the lamplight, haphazard and ruffled up beyond measure. 
The knife in your hand drips with blood, your shirt torn at the arms, your hands bloodied and bruised. 
When Hoshi sees your face he almost doesn’t recognise you. 
There’s angry blooming marks of red and purple all across your neck and collarbone, your eyes bloodshot and red, watering like you’d been swimming in salt water. 
“Who did this?” he asks before anything else, watching you drop to your knees in front of the prison, unanswering as you fumbled with a giant ring of keys in your hand. 
You jam each key into the lock, twisting it to no avail. Your hands are shaking. 
The crew finally twist out of their loose bonds, Minghao lurching forward immediately, swatting your hands away. He picks out a few skinny pins from his boot, picking the rusty lock. Despite the strange angle, the bars creak open within seconds. 
“There’s…There’s ropes hooked onto the ship on the main deck.” 
Your voice sounds like you’re speaking through sandpaper, talking while struggling to emerge with the bomb you had. 
Hoshi doesn’t know what to do when he crawls out of the space. 
He’d had it all figured out in his head, what would happen in every possible outcome. You getting hurt wasn’t in any of his universal conclusions; especially not on this ship. They’d kill his crew, they might even kill the King with themselves, but you were meant to remain unscathed. 
“Why–why do you look like that? What happened?” Nothing registers in his head, not even when Jun is pushing him out into the hall. 
“Get up to the deck and get out across the lines!” Jun gruffs in his ears. “That bomb’s gonna go off with us still on here.”
He sees the canister that lies in the same prison they had just exited, he sees your mouth moving without sound. All he can think of are the distinct fingerprints around your throat and how it looked like somebody tried to kill you before they tried to kill him. 
“Soonyoung,” he hears you say in a broken voice and that’s all it takes for him to snap out of it. 
His crew is looking at him expectantly. He looks back at the door and sees the crumpled bodies of the prison guards. 
So much for leaving quietly. 
The minute Hoshi is out the door of the brig, he finds a chest next to the collapsed, bleeding soldiers. Kicking it open, he can only scoff as he finds the entire crew’s weapons in such close vicinity. 
He feels better with his dagger at his hip, along with the rest of his knives that he slips into the loops. Even more so with the rest of his crew armed and ready. 
“We know where the deck is.” He swallows, eyeing his crew’s weapons in their ready hands. He knew they’d agreed to ensure the clean sinking of the ship, but the fallen bodies on the floor were an ode to a different route they’d have to take. “Don’t hesitate if someone gets in your way.”
Taking cautious steps to the upper decks, he finds more bodies collapsed onto the floor, bleeding and unconscious. He opts to ask you the details later, wondering how you were able to take down all these guards by yourself. 
It isn’t until they reach the stairs that lead to the main deck that he comes across a guard. 
Before the witness can raise any alarm, Hoshi’s slamming the butt of his dagger into the side of his head, knocking him clean unconscious as he falls off the side of the short railing. 
Clambering up the steps as quietly as possible, he raises a hand behind him to signal his crew to halt, peering into the main deck first. 
The sun is still out, but low in the sky as it dips in the sky. There’s a few people on the deck, pacing and moving about in preparation for departure. Angling his gaze, he finds ropes suspended over the edge of the railing, parallel to the water. 
He can’t see Tigress, but he knows that’s what the ropes are hooked on to. 
“Jun,” he beckons. “How long till the bomb on the other ship goes off?”
The bomb Jun had planted in the first ship they had arrived in should be going off any time now, and Hoshi finds himself needing it to go off now. 
Jun barely opened his mouth to reply when the ship shuddered. 
For a moment, Hoshi thinks the bomb in the brigs had gone off, but when he finds the clambering of boots to one side of the ship, opposite to where the ropes tied to Tigress, he realises their surrogate ship had given its last gift to the crew. 
The rest of the ship would be bounding to the main deck to inspect the noise soon, so he shoots a quick, “Hurry!” behind him before stepping onto the main deck. 
The entire deck is occupied with the ship that lies a ways away across the expanse of sea, the beginnings that would soon lead the entire ship to be engulfed in flames. It’s tilting at a dangerous angle. 
Hoshi stands as he uses the crew straight towards the ropes that lead to Tigress. Glancing, he finds Mingyu and Chan already hanging on the suspended ropes, making their way towards the empty deck of their ship. 
Hoshi keeps his eyes on the occupied men on board, still staring at the lightshow that was their old ship. It isn’t until one of them turns, eyes towards the stairs that lead to the lower decks, that his eyes dart to the unfamiliar men on the deck. 
“Fuck,” Hoshi curses, before lunging, grabbing the man by the shoulders and covering his mouth, dragging him wordlessly to the edge before throwing him off the ship and into the icy waters below. 
“Go!” he hears you rasp brom behind him, ushering him to the ropes. 
The crew is gone, Jun making the last jump to land on the deck. They’re running around, pulling ropes and fastening the sails to push the ship off into open waters as soon as possible. 
There’s two ropes that tie the two ships together, and Hoshi ushers you onto one of them, pushing you to suspend yourself before he follows. 
“There’s not enough time, go to the other one!” you tell him, pushing him to hold onto the other tattered rope. 
Soonyoung eyes your state, “Are you sure you can—”
“Yes! I promise I can, please, before they cut both the ropes.”
So he trusts you, eyes straight ahead to the railing of his ship, gripping the rough, frayed rope to push himself towards the deck. His hands burn, but he finds himself moving ever closer to his final destination. 
His hand grabs hold of the wooden railing of his Tigress at long last, pulling himself onto the deck of his beloved ship. Immediately whipping his head to his right, he tries to find you reaching the ship with him. The crew is preoccupied in attempting to get the ship ready for departure, he finds your form nowhere. 
When he looks back, the rope he had climbed was gone, leaving gaping space in its absence. He trails the second rope, from the hook that had dug into the railing of Tigress’s wood, trailing it to the naval ship’s deck. 
What he sees puts his heart in his throat. 
You stand on the deck of your father’s ship, swarmed by now alert guards and soldiers who swarm you, yelling profanities and orders as they watch their prisoners get away right in front of them. 
Hoshi watches as you lift your dagger, and cut the last rope that ties you together, free to fall and hit against the hull of his ship.
He calls out your name in what could only be described as a guttural scream. 
His crew halts whatever it was they were doing, taking the steps to realise what had just happened. 
Hoshi’s boot meets the top of the railing, ready to take the plunge into the water. He’d climb back up the ship and get you out. He doesn’t know what you were thinking, what he was thinking when he left you there, but he’d get you out. 
Arms pulling him, he’s yanked back and positively thrown onto the deck.
“What is wrong with you?” Minghao yells, pushing his captain back as he springs up. 
“She—”
Your father emerges from the crowd of guards and soldiers that run rampant on the deck, approaching you at the railing of the main deck. 
Hoshi sees the hand that remains on his shoulder, the blood that covers the still bleeding wound, the effort it takes him to simply walk. 
The bruises on your neck, the wound at his shoulder that looks like it was slashed through by a knife. 
And then it clicks in Hoshi’s head, what had truly happened in the hours that you were out of his sight. And all he sees is red.
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WITH THE WAY THE words on the pages seem to double, you would’ve thought you were going mad. 
You’re a child, barely grown into your own body as you sit in the dimly lit library of the palace, utterly exhausted, wishing to be anywhere but sitting at the wooden desk with your name on it. The moon barely shone through the window, your only source of light the fireplace that burned in the corner and your lamplight. 
It was a time where you felt like you could prove yourself, that perhaps, the reason your father refused you his approval was because you were simply not working hard enough. And now, at an hour where you should be fast asleep in your four poster bed, you attempt to understand diplomatic structures and everything that made your country what it was. 
It was late, and there was nothing you would’ve liked more than to put your head on the table and rest your eyes for a few tantalising seconds, which you do, right over the book you were reading. 
You awoke in the same place, shaken awake by a panicked looking servant, the sun shining through the great windows of the palace library.
It seems your disappearance from your bedchambers had put the entire palace in disarray, not realising the princess was fast asleep behind the giant pile of books other servants had already skimmed past thrice. 
Not only were you unable to recite the rankings of the constitutions with the vigour your father required, but you were unable to give him a reason as to why you were absent for both breakfast and morning lessons. 
He made the servants kneel in the throne room for hours, and did not fail to tell you that it was all your fault.
And now, in the ice cold of the Green Islands, old and wise enough to know that your father simply needed a reason to despise his heir, you accept the hands around your throat as his final act of terror. 
Red faced and arms shaking, your father does not speak to you as he presses down on your windpipe with all his might. Your vision is going dark and splotchy, and you decide, for a moment, to let him have this moment. 
He’s too preoccupied in applying his pressure to realise that you’ve raised your right foot enough for your hands to fish out your knife from its place, taking positivity in the handle of your knife that fits in your hand. 
Before you can lose consciousness, you raise your arm high, and plunge it directly into his neck. 
Howling, he releases you from his hold, both of you dropping to the floor of the ship with a resonating thud. You cough, sputter and hack, cold hands finding your now warm neck. 
Your father lays clutching his shoulder as he remains in agony on the floor, and you realise you missed the crucial plunge in your own disarray. 
It was good enough, rendering the old man incapable of finding his bearings. 
You watch as he writhes on the floor of the quarters that almost became your figurative deathbed, the same hands that wrapped around his own daughter’s throat now clutching the shallow wound that renders him useless. 
Standing over him, throwing your own shadow on his body, you feel a surge of power, a rush of adrenaline that shoots straight to your head. Perhaps this was your circulation returning from the deprivation, but you let the feeling imprint in your soul, let your father’s broken figure bring you satisfaction.
You leave him there, writhing in pain, digging your knife under the lock of the quarters, pulling back to break it away from the door. The guards stationed outside do nothing as you leave, and it isn’t until you’ve taken to lower decks that you hear the distinct yell of, “Your Majesty!”
Two more guards, who don’t expect an altercation from their princess, simply buffer as you send your knife plunging into them both. You do it deep this time. 
Nobody was innocent, you knew these people as your father’s closest men, and knew that all of them were to remain silent as their King murdered his daughter. And when the remorse doesn’t do that thing where it trickles in after doing a bad thing, you decide you weren’t part of the innocents either.
It’s easier than you would’ve expected to get to the crew in the brig, letting out a sigh of relief as you appreciate the familiarity of people on your side. 
And when Hoshi took his place to guide everyone out and into the open space of the main deck, you let your racing mind rest and decide to trust the man in whatever decision he made to lead you all out. And he did, he led himself and his crew right into the ship that was theirs, safe and where they would have the upper hand. 
Hoshi didn’t know it when he climbed onto the ropes that lead to his boat that he wouldn’t have made it if you hadn’t stayed, hadn’t used your voice of authority to keep the soldiers from attempting to shoot at the escapees, cut the rope while Hoshi remained suspended from it, still only halfway there. 
You didn’t look at him when you sliced both ropes before either party could pull back, didn’t register him screaming your name across the void, pretending it wasn’t taking everything out of your strength.
But you couldn’t jump into the water, not now when a dozen of the royal guards remained ready to take the plunge to save their princess as their duty. The same guards that would comply with their king when told the princess was dead for reasons they all knew but were to forget. 
The bomb had to go off first, and you had to keep them away from hooking another line to the ship in the meantime. You were operating on a flawed plan and an overenthusiastic crowd of guards that were moments away from shooting a canon straight into the side of the disconnected pirate ship.  
The distraction comes in the form of your father parting the crowd of soldiers like the red sea, swatting every soldier that attempts to help his bleeding form for anything it was worth. He approaches you at the railing, and for once, you don’t look at the ground in his presence. 
“Bold,” he heaves, the effort in his voice apparent. “Bold of you to think you could slip away.”
“I haven’t tried to slip away, father,” you correct. “I’ve stayed right here, even after you failed to kill me. And I, you.” 
“Nobody is going to listen to you, child. Give in. This is the easy way out,” he says. 
As if on cue, Jun’s bomb goes off for the second time, but this time the ship shudders with more force. It has your father unbalance and fall, along with multiple other soldier’s stumbling. You grip the railing tight, counting on your father’s need to live. 
Despite your horrid throat and the ache in your body, you announce as loud as you can. “The bomb is in the brig, this ship is sinking.”
The fallen king trembles in a rage you had never quite seen before. Any other time of your life, you would’ve wished for the ground to swallow you whole to be the subject of such anger. 
Except, in the setting sun, a burning ship in the background, a pirate ship that awaits you, and the ground beneath your feet that was actively sinking into the freezing water; you smile at your doomed King. 
“Get to the brig! Secure the lower decks, do not let this ship sink or so help me God!” His voice rings across the deck, spittle blowing from his mouth at the situation. 
And just like that, your father gives you the final gift of clearing the main deck out for you, leaving but a few straggling soldiers that are too preoccupied with either the sinking ship or their bleeding sovereign. 
Looking back, you find the crew of Tigress standing at the railing, you find Hoshi already half over the edge and send him a slow nod. 
Turning back to your father that remains on the floor of the ship that would become his coffin, you utter your next words; for yourself, and the girl that was every second before this, all the way to her first ever memory of sad:
“You’ve taught me to be a ruler fit to be the best for our Kingdom. Consider your death my first act of service for the Crown.”
And then you jumped into the darkening void of the waters below. 
The cold feels like every nerve in your body ceased to work. 
It was nothing at first, the temperature so intense it had your body numb in the face of shock. And then it grew, to a striking cold, and then a feeling that pricked every inch of your skin like a million needles plunging into your body. It was only getting worse with each passing second, before it was so painful it was hot, going from cold to searing and blistering like you’d plunged into the licks of flames. 
Nowhere in your body did you find a rational sense of mind, something to tell you to kick, flail or float. The warped sky was an orange through the green, only more vibrant. Like there were two ships actively burning on the surface of this water. 
Hoshi’s face appears behind your closing eyelids, like a mirage or a taunt. Like he was there with you when he wasn’t. 
Would he come for you? Would he take the plunge for the girl he held in his arms, promising her something to fill the gap of a companion, right before she killed her own? 
You’d given him what he wanted; your father, his worst enemy, dying as he sank slowly into the bottom of the ocean. You’d run your course of use, and if he was as smart as people claimed, he’d leave you to suffer the same fate as your father. 
He could find his freedom elsewhere. 
And you would find your freedom in the close of your eyes, and the sinking feeling of nothingness. 
Except, you feel a hardness against your body, stronger even than the current of the waters. Moving impossibly upwards, you remember opening your eyes to find a leather cord suspended in the float of the water, before you remember nothing. 
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THE GREEN ISLANDS WERE on fire.  
But as unnatural as it seemed, Hoshi had no inclination to register anything but the way the ship in front of him tilts so far out it's already half submerged in the waters. He’d assumed they might have to ready the cannons, but with the way debris and hollowed wood floats in the waters below, they would not need to. 
The King was about to be introduced to Davy Jones’ Locker at the hands of his enemy and successor, but Hoshi could not care enough right now to relish in it. 
Right now, he stares at the direct circumference of water your body had made contact with and disappeared into, like the world would explode if he lost his place. 
“Should I jump as well?” Mingyu asks, already half taking his boots off. However, when the man turns to find his captain gone, he lurches over the railing to find his captain diving into the water through all the debris.
Hoshi lets the momentum of his dive take him as further down as possible, whipping his head around as soon as his eyes open into the abyss. The water ripples and erupts in showers of bubbles as broken pieces of ship come apart to fall into the water. It blurs his vision immensely, any ripple that could be you in the water coming out to be yet another piece of wasted wood. 
The deeper he goes, the more the water presses into his ears. He was a good swimmer, good at holding his breath when needed, but even he had limits. 
When he cannot see any sign of you, he begins to feel the churning of something skin to panic brew. Panic was never good, not this deep in the water. 
Twisting and turning, flailing about in place, moving dangerously closer to the burning ship that continued to drop flaming bits of killing slabs, he finds no sign of you in the water. 
Instead, he watches men in uniform sink deeper and deeper in their failed attempts to stay afloat. 
All he can think about is if they were losing the battle for air, then so were you, somewhere deeper in the void than he was. He prays that he’s looking aimlessly, that you’ve already somehow made your way to the surface by yourself, and you were safe on the deck. 
The beaded bracelet that remained on his wrist, but belonged to you. 
“A reason for you to come out of this alive.”
Even without the encasing on his wrist, you had given him more than enough reason to want to come out of this alive, to want to live beyond just for himself and his duty to the crew he’d taken in. 
He chose the life of a pirate because it was his only out, and every member of his crew that he recruited in succession, he acted as the hand he had needed so desperately in that awful brothel where his mother despised him and his father, a faceless man of Port Ash. 
Amphitrite was not kind, it was a lesson he learned quickly in his first ventures out at sea. So he too, had to learn to be unkind, to survive in the horrid bellies of ships that weren’t his own. And when Tigress came into his life like a vessel of hope, he found a home in her merciful wood, in the ship that he could call his very own. 
Hoshi lived as a free man on his ship, with his crew that had become his brothers in ways beyond what the thick of blood could offer. He did not care if he lived or died after that, as long as it was on his ship, in the waters that held no quarter for anyone, but gave him everything that nothing else could give him. 
And so when you approached him with a proposal so bizarre yet so apt for a man like him, he could not refuse. It may have been the way he saw himself in you, terrified of the prospects  but thirsting for an escape more than the fear that came with it. 
Besides, the king was a nuisance that needed to go, and he found himself agreeing to play the hand too complicated for you. 
What he did not expect was to end up here, in the depths of the ocean in the most uninhabitable part of the earth, trying to pull you out of the cold, unrelenting sea. 
Hoshi realises in that moment that this might ruin him, the possibility of breaking the surface without you. 
He decides that if the heavens do not let him find you, he would simply drown in the same waters that gave him purpose, and find peace with the idea that he would lay rest in the same waters as the person who might have given him something more. 
Kwon Soonyoung, the deadliest pirate to cleave the seas, was in love with you. A princess, so undeserving of a man like him; a bastard, a rogue, a good for nothing criminal. 
And when he spots the all too familiar build of your form, the linen shirt under the corset he had tied for you just hours ago, the dark brown trousers that signified the change he’d brought into your life, he swore to leave everything he’d ever known to thank the skies and seas for bringing him to you.
His burning lungs, screaming and searing for air, grabbing for your suspended arm that looked as defeated as your closed eyes. Tugging you towards him, he wraps his arm around you to press you to him as tight as he could. 
Relief. And with the warm sting in his eyes that he doubted was from the salt in the water, he’s sure of everything he’s felt with the feeling of you in his arms. 
With the bruising on your neck, the bleeding wound in your father’s shoulder, he finds it within his breaking body to begin kicking upwards. 
Every limb, every cell, every hint of life in his body shrieked with its efforts to make him stop. There was no air in his lungs and he’d lost track of time in his search for you, he doesn’t know how long he has. 
But if the blots of nothingness in his eyes were anything to go with, he doesn’t presume he has much. In a last ditch effort, he attempts to kick his boots off to weigh him down a little less, holding your dead weight tighter than anything. 
He was so close, he could feel the warmth of the upper levels of the water change in its temperature on his skin. The glow was near blinding as the orange refracted on the disrupted surface of the ocean, so close yet so far. 
Inch by inch, kick by kick, memory by memory, he does everything left in his drained power to touch the surface. 
And he does, breaking out hand first into the burning air of the world above, taking the longest gasp of air he ever has in his life. Once he’s sure he knows where he is, he pushes you up further on his chest, your head resting against his collarbone, still unconscious. 
“Stay with me, princess,” he pants into your ear, hoping you could hear. “I’ve got you.”
Chan and Mingyu are in the water beside him, pushing him towards the pulley that awaited them. 
Mingyu makes an attempt to take your weight of his already struggling captain, but Hoshi finds himself holding on to you tighter, simply urging him to help him back on the deck. 
The minute your head hits the wood of the deck, he’s checking your pulse. There’s no regard for the chaos that ensues around Tigress, both him and his crew too preoccupied with the way you were not breathing. 
“I–I can’t feel anything,” he stutters his words as Seungkwan places a less panicked hand at your neck, under your nose. 
“It’s weak, she’s taken in too much water.”
In an instant, he reaches for his knife at his hip, only to realise it was gone, lost somewhere in his rescue. 
“Knife,” he rasps before repeating louder. “Someone give me a knife!” 
The minute a hilt is in his hands, he’s pushing you over, to reach the back of your constricting corset, pushing his knife into the complicated sailing knot he’d tied it into before, breaking it free. With both hands, he takes hold of the top of the corset and rips it clean in half. 
Turning you back over, he presses his hands over your clothed stomach, pushing into it with all his strength in an attempt to get the water out of your system. He keeps his eyes on your face, and when he sees no sign of you coming round, he feels another set of hands pushing him off. 
Seungkwan takes over for his weakened captain, pushing into your stomach harder, attempting to get a break out of you. 
“Why isn’t she coming around, what’s going on?” He throws the question aimlessly as he takes your unmoving face in his hands, trembling from everything. 
Only a moment later, he hears the glorious sound of you sputtering like something was stuck in your throat, promptly spilling out an ungodly amount of water onto the deck as you retch loudly. 
Sitting up from the force, your hands clamp onto the deck as you cough and heave, Hoshi’s hand coming behind you to thump your back hard, pushing you to throw up any remaining seawater from your body. 
The sight of your back moving up and down, the audible sound of you taking in air; it was enough for Hoshi to simply lay on the deck and pass out. 
You rear your head and look up at him, both of you still breathing heavily. 
“You’re okay,” he assures, gulping. He takes your face in hands cupping it very gently as he speaks to you. “Go with Seungkwan, you’re okay, you’re safe.”
Nodding, you let yourself be helped up by the rest of the crew, watching as you’re led to the lower decks of the ship. 
“Open your shirt, let me see the wound,” Mingyu says, and Hoshi doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Looking down, he sees his shirt soaked in red, sticking to a wound on the right side of his torso. He didn’t even know where he got it. 
It looks like a shallow gash, but enough to leave a scar. He takes it better to have it tended to while he was still high on adrenaline and he couldn’t feel much of the pain. 
By the time Mingyu and Minghao are done cleaning him up and Hoshi’s standing upright with wobbly legs, he finds the two burning ships beyond his own mere floating structures of wood that were in slow flame. There’s too much debris, too many bits of everything that bob in the large expanse of water to make out any bodies. 
“There’s nobody,” Mingyu tells him. “Most of them were in lower decks when it all went down. Trapped themselves.”
“And…?” he asks in silence. 
“He stayed on the deck until it sank,” Minghao informs. “Yelling about how he…about how he should’ve finished her when he had the chance.”
“Horrible king and somehow an even worse father,” Mingyu scoffs. “Made it better to watch him die.”
“He didn’t suffer enough,” Hoshi croaks as the marks on your throat dot his vision. 
Just then, floating in the water, illuminated by the final streaks of setting light, Hoshi sees it. A darkened purple cloth right next to the hull.
“That,” he points out. “Get that out of the water.”
The late king’s purple cape laid on the deck of Tigress, darkened with water, but also with his blood.
To the Kingdom, this cape would be the last piece of their King that was gone too soon. But for every person on this ship, it would forever be their spoils of war.
Hoshi makes sure the cape will be dried and stored, ordering his crew to begin their slow journey out of the Green Islands, before he too crumples onto the deck unconscious. 
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IT WAS A SPECTACLE to see Hoshi in his element. 
Something about how he seemed to beam, like this ship was charging him a different kind of energy. It was infectious, the rest of the ship decreasingly sour as they put on musical performances on the main deck while they cleaned the floors. 
As relieved as you felt, the tight ball of anxiety refused to leave the pit of your stomach as you grew closer to the Kingdom. Nothing could prepare you for the shitstorm you’d have to deal with the moment you’d step onto the soil off a pirate ship of all things—let alone as Queen. 
The first few days following the ship's exit from the Green Islands were difficult, if that was all you had to describe it. You took to your hammock for most of the day, curled up as you pretended to sleep, only waking up when one of the crew would come down to force feed you and to make sure you hadn’t died. 
You knew they were doing all this to make you feel better, and somehow it was working. More than halfway through your journey, you began to feel more like yourself, emerging from your cave to visit the deck on times other than the nights. 
Even now, as you sit on the floor of the deck with Seungkwan, who hands you an all too familiar stack of parchment, you feel nothing as you take them into your hands. As you read his handwriting scrawled in ink, you appreciate your past self for having the sense to keep them all. 
“I’m glad you’re feeling better now,” he says to you. “Had us worried for a while there.”
“Sorry.” You smile weakly. “But thank you for…everything. I don’t think I could ever express how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. All of you.”
“I’d like to think we’ve gone past the status of mere business partners,” Seungkwan chuckles. “Lion befriends the bear? Whatever it is. But know we’d do it again.”
Blinking back the sting of tears and doing your very best to not let the warm feeling in your chest overwhelm you, you place the letters on the floor next to your folded legs. When you look up, Seungkwan's eyes are on your neck.
“They’re taking their time to fade, aren’t they?” you say. 
Seungkwan has a hard look in his eye, “I guess you didn’t need your letters to remind you of anything after all.”
Your mind wanders, drifting past how easily this crew could have been forgotten in the unforgiving elements. Perhaps you would have let the man that wrapped his hands around your neck finish his job.
“Was getting captured part of your grand plan?” you ask Seungkwan. 
“Hm?” It takes a moment to realise what you may be questioning him about, smiling slightly. “What makes you think we went in with a plan?”
“I thought I asked you to man the wheel?” Hoshi stands above the both of you.
“Not to batten down the hatches,” he side-eyed his captain. “Clear waters ahead, the wheel does not need manning.” 
You zone out as they squabble over nothing, not finding the heart to be entertained by their back and forth. Seungkwan either loses or forfeits, because you feel him rise from next to you, only for his captain to take his place. 
“What are you thinking about?” Hoshi asks. 
“Everything,” you sigh. 
“How come Seungkwan gets a thank you for your service and I don’t? Need I remind you who jumped for you and who didn’t?”
Rolling your eyes, you answer him, “Thank you, Captain Hoshi Kwon, I am forever indebted to your service.”
He chuckles in exaggeration, “Oh please, all in a day's work.”
“I mean it.”
“Hm?”
“I never did say thank you. But you did jump for me when you didn’t have to.”
“Who said I didn’t have to?”
“Our deal was done.”
“Of course not,” he scoffs. “Our deal was to get you out when you jumped. I merely honoured that promise!”
“Merely?” you raise a brow. “Was it all merely a matter of conscience?”
His gaze locks with yours. “Don’t ask questions you know the answers for. I would’ve jumped even if you asked me to rope myself to the mast.”
“Please. I have enough blood on my hands and I haven’t even sat on my throne yet.”
“Blood is only on your hands if you tell a soul of what you’ve done,” Hoshi utters. “You’re the only living soul who knows.”
“And you are…?”
“Pirate. Our word means nothing.” Hoshi smiles. 
The thought hangs in the air as you take in the man in front of you. He’s changed an era’s worth, yet all the same. His hair is longer, going from his initial shorter crop to curling around his ears, shielding his eyes. It makes him look younger, like a boy with much to live for. 
That, and the multitude of notable scars he’s added to his collection, many of which have somehow been because of you. The wound at his torso is doing better, but far to go in its quest to heal. 
Hoshi senses something amiss even after his sermon. Breaking his gaze, he turns to look straight ahead at the raised bow of the ship instead. 
“Do you know how I got my splendid reputation for being the filthiest pirate on the seas?”
You can only stare, “I have a few guesses.”
He chortles, “Other than my criminal status.”
“Tell me.”
“Unnamed sailors have the odds of a peanut facing its inevitable fate of being crushed under a straggling boot. Pirates don’t see the government as their enemy when they’re own supposed brothers are more likely to jam a cannon in their mouths.”
He lets out a heavy sigh before continuing, “My mistake wasn’t that I was on the losing side in my early days, but more about how I was leaving nothing behind when I was done.”
“How humble,” you hum. 
“Dead men tell no tales. When it’s worth it, it might be better to leave a straggler or two to live to tell the tale. A routine stab in the jugular can turn you into somewhat of a myth.”
“Am I a survivor?” you question. 
“You may be sovereign on land, but you’re also an unnamed pirate,” he responds, turning back to lock eyes with you. “And you’ve left nobody to tell the tale.”
No one listens to a pirate, and everyone listens to a Queen. 
“This isn’t to say there won’t be a legend that follows you.” He quirks a brow as he speaks. “Shows up and claims her father and his entire ship and crew sank at sea, only to befriend his sworn enemies in the aftermath. And then it evolves; she sent a cannon through her fathers ship, he died at the end of his own daughter's sword, she cursed him to captain a crew of the undead for eternity.”
“Have I planted the seeds for yet another ghost story?” It’s difficult to not giggle at the thought, despite how morbid. 
“You’ve given yourself substance,” he says, a little stronger than before. His eyes too, wander to your neck and the bruises that refuse to budge. “Beyond just a royal or even a pirate. You did it for your honour as a human being, and that may be braver than anything I have ever conquered.”
In your anxiety ridden, feeble mind, your thoughts had convinced your conscience that everything would be over the minute your father’s heart stopped beating. That it would bring you peace at last. 
And it did, especially when it felt like you’d gotten rid of this constant monster under the bed that had followed you far into adulthood. But from the bleeding heart of the creature emerged yet another one of its brethren, and then another and then another. 
Smaller albeit, but monsters nonetheless. Problems nonetheless. 
Weeks of this, and in one short interaction, Hoshi seemed to have given you the key to turn this monster into a pet. 
On instinct, you feel your hand reach up, brushing against the skin of his cheek. It’s an all too familiar setting, seated on the deck of a ship too close for anybody but yours’ comfort. But without the rum and resentment, of course. And how you doubt he’d pull away this time. 
Very lightly, you brush your lips against his. It was nothing but to simply feel him again, to feel a semblance of familiarity. 
You feel him take your hand that rests on his cheek to place a kiss on your palm, nuzzling his nose into the concave of your hand. 
Everything that was to come seemed a little more possible in that very moment. 
Even more so when his fingers found the sensitive areas of your coloured throat, when his lips closed against your jaw, only to trail lower and to press into the marks his fingers continue to trail tucked into your neck. 
That night, when slipping into your hammock felt like the most unbearable prospect in your near future, it couldn’t possibly be worse than uttering your next question to the man that seems to fix it all.  
“Will you stay with me?”
With nothing but the light snores of the rest of the crew and the creaking of the ship, both you and Soonyoung laid in a hammock most definitely not meant for two. Head on his chest, ear pressed against where his heart beats under his scar, it’s bliss. 
The feeling of his warm body against yours and the scent of him settling in your lungs, you decide that this was enough. At least for now. 
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IT WAS DIFFICULT TO give yourself the full list for obvious reasons, but it does seem to help when you tick off all the possible reasons why your patience has run as thin as it has. 
Sitting at the decorated seat at the convened court of old men appointed by your father, you briefly wonder if you should finish them off too amidst your flash of anger. The men continue to squabble and babble about the next course of action, slamming their wrinkled hands on the pristine table and sending their own daggers of threats to the other inhabitants of the table. 
“If you’d like to send a search party for the King’s body, be my guest,” you finally speak, having had quite enough when the throb in your temple worsens. “But remind me what troops you’ll be sending to the North if your best men will be gone for months attempting to find a body they never will.”
The dispute in the North side of the Kingdom was taking up most of the conversation anyway, and you doubt they’d put customary burial rites over their own glory of victory the North would bring. 
“Your Majesty—”
“I would happily jump on the next search ship for my father,” you lie through your teeth. “But I watched him drown in front of my own two eyes, and as the next sovereign I cannot let you waste our resources for something that will both risk our soldier’s lives and have them come back home empty handed.”
Perhaps you had come off slightly more heartless than you intended, so you quickly add, “Please, let my father rest in peace.”
That seems to end the conversation easier than you had expected, but they’re quick to jump to the next issue not long after. 
“The court would also like to bring light upon the palace guests.”
Tightening your jaw, you slump against your seat slightly. “What about them?”
They remain silent as their mouthpiece attempts to form the right words for the following question, mostly because you’ve addressed this multiple times beforehand but they continue to sit restless. 
“Allow me to help you, Lord Bridge,” you sit up straighter, intending to put this matter to rest. “My guests will remain here for as long as they do, and if you have any more arising issues towards my guests I will only take it as your collective issues towards me.” 
In the moment of silence, you continue, “The Kingdom is in a place of instability as we are all well aware. I find it most appalling that you remain fixated on trivial matters of the palace’s domestic code of conduct than you do for the wellbeing of this country!”
Silence yet again as you wait for their forcibly rehearsed chorus of apologies. 
“Our greatest apologies, your Majesty.”
The pain in your temples becomes near unbearable as you dismiss the table after that, screeching your chair as you push it back as loud as you possibly can to do nothing but spite the men. 
Turning the corner out of the room, you catch the open gates that lead to the paved gardens outside, the sun seeping into the marble floors indoors. Taking an instinctive step towards the gardens, you find most of the crew sprawled onto the grass as they soak in the sun. 
Chan and Seungkwan look like they’re wrestling, their laughter ringing throughout the open court while their captain snaps at them to cut it out, only to get roped under one of their headlocks all the same. 
There’s a call of your name and a giant wave from Mingyu, who spots you from beyond the flower beds. Still leaning against the gates, you smile and wave back. 
Years the halls of the palace had gone, never hearing laughter in its walls. And something about watching them let themselves ruin the petunias and laugh so loud it echoes, heals you just a bit. 
Even that night, when you find yourself in your giant four poster bed you’ve slept in since you were a child, this time dozing under the arm of another, you feel the itch of a healing wound somewhere in your heart. 
Soonyoung laid with you for every night on the ship since that night, and stayed even here where the space was big enough to host the ghosts of your worries if not distracted. 
He had found you on that first night in the palace still awake, haunting the library fireplace with another stack of papers to keep you company. 
“Can’t sleep?” he’d asked as he picked up some of your documents. 
“Clearly not,” you huff. The papers were mere decorations as you attempted to find an excuse to leave your rooms. 
“You realise you won’t be much of an effective monarch if you exhaust yourself to death?”  
There was no answer to that, especially when you were absorbing nothing of your new duties. You’d expected to fall asleep on the armrest of the uncomfortable settee whenever it was that you exhausted your brain of thoughts, even then refusing to sleep in that large bed. 
He’s awfully persuasive, because as he tucks you into those very sheets, about to leave but not before placing a kiss on your forehead You stop him. 
“Stay. Please.”
True as he has always been, he does.
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THE CROWN IS HEAVIER than you had expected, even more so when it remains on your head for longer than your previously practised sessions walking around the throne room. The crew was exceptionally good at giving you things to train with, including fraudulent rodent scares to ensure the crown would not topple from your own head the minute you rise from your coronation.
And now, as you finally remove the decorative piece from your head after your actual coronation to replace it with something lighter for the following ball, you find relief in the fact that you’d only ever have to wear the actual thing only a few times in your life. 
Everything moves as smoothly as it could, the decorated pirates that saved their Queen from a horrid shipwreck taking up most of the attendees attention as they either question inquisitively or send snarky remarks to the men who are well versed in how to rebut in true informal manner. 
The past months had taken up more of your time than you had anticipated, and during the latter half of the still twinkling party, you attempted to spot the person you’ve been trying to corner all night. 
Soonyoung stands at the edges of the gathering, empty handed as you watch him reject yet another offer for a drink from the trays that float about. His attire is the most formal you had ever seen, his face scrubbed and hair pushed back for the glorious occasion. 
Approaching him from the sidelines, you take hold of his wrists and pull him towards one of the many doors in the ballroom and into a hallway you knew for a fact was rarely ever frequented. 
“I feel I haven’t seen you ages,” you say once you’re sure you’re alone. 
“Probably best for you to keep busy,” he replies with the smallest smile. 
“Have the wrappings on your wound come off?”
Looking at his covered torso, he runs an instinctive hand over where the wound was. “Just a smaller patch now, but it’s nearly there. Disappointed it won’t scar too much.”
“Disappointed?” 
“These are my spoils of war, miss princess,” he adds with a smirk, before correcting himself. “Ah, miss queen?”
“Doesn’t have the same ring,” you comment. 
“The crown suits you.” His voice is soft and sincere.
Scoffing a little, you answer, “I would hope it did.”
“Although, I do prefer you in trousers and a knife.”
Laughing, you can only agree. Especially in your heavier than yourself dress and jewels. “I think I prefer them too.”
At the mention of your new status, he asks, “Shouldn’t you be milling between your new subjects?” 
Keeping your eyes on his face, you wait until he meets your gaze. “I have more important things to attend to.”
He breaks eye contact first, and you can feel the distance grow further. One reach and you could take his hand in yours. 
But you don’t. 
“I know I’ve been quite busy, but…” you trail off as you attempt to find the words. “Is something the matter? What’s going on?”
With a long sigh, he runs a hand through his kept hair, effectively tousling it a little. “I was going to wait until after the ball to tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
He makes no moves to look at you when he utters his next words. “The crew and I will be leaving at dawn tomorrow. We’ve taken up enough of your space and it’s best if we don’t intrude any further.”
It’s like you’ve taken a blow to the chest, the air knocked out of your lungs as you register what he’s just said. “You’re….you’re leaving?”
“I would think we’ve both gotten what we wanted. We had a deal.”
Deal? Why was he mentioning that now?
“Are you going to abandon me too?”
His head snaps up to finally meet your eye, mouth opening closing as words betray him. 
“What happened to what you said about gaining you? All of you?” There’s a blatant accusation in your words.
“And you have! We’ll visit. Assuming the state doesn’t want my head on a pike anymore,” he chuckles uncomfortably. 
In a moment of desperation, you take his hand in both of yours; his scarred, gnarled hands that tell you even in the dark who’s warmth it is that you feel every night next to you. 
“Stay. Stay with me, please,” you plead. “I can’t live in this place alone, I despised it when I was young and I’ll only despise it even more now.”
Soonyoung brings his other hand to clasp over both of your own, eyes closing as you hear him take a somewhat shaky breath. “I’m doing this for the both of us.”
“So am I! I can’t possibly rule a kingdom by myself.”
“I’m sure you’ll find someone—”
“I don’t want someone! I want you!”
He begins to whisper your name, moving his face away to blink rapidly. 
“How do you feel about becoming a pirate king? I can never forbid you from the waters, that’s your home, and you will have it.”
He does not look at you, but you know he’s listening more intently than ever before.
“But I ask you as someone who loves you more than I have ever anything else, will you stay and marry me?”
Soonyoung falters as he absorbs the fact that you’ve just proposed to him. 
“I—” he stutters. “The court—”
“The court wouldn’t dare to deny me the man that saved my life.”
You squeeze his hand tighter, moving impossibly closer. 
“And even if they do, I'm ready to fight for the man who fought for me. So answer me as a man and not a pirate, Kwon Soonyoung, will you marry me?”
Soonyoungs mouth enclosing over your own is all the answer you need as you feel him break free of your hands to let them find your waist instead. Amidst the pile of fabric he pushes himself into you as close as possible, letting your hands guide his head to move against your mouth. 
It’s everything, as you grip onto the back of his shoulder, pressing unforgettably into his open mouth. He takes in your bottom lip between his own, sucking before letting go, only to engulf your mouth once again. 
“We’ll figure it out,” you whisper against his lips, feeling the nuzzle of his nose against the apple of your cheek, hot tears spilling from your eyes. “I promise, we’ll figure everything out.”
He shushes you when he feels you shudder in his hold, pulling away to rest his forehead against yours. “No need to torment your pretty head. Not right now.”
For once, you listen to your pirate captain without a fight, simply feeling the stretch of your lips as he moves down to capture them once more. 
The pressure of his hands isn’t nearly as strong as it would’ve felt without the layers upon layers of fabric that cover your form, but standing in this desolate hallway, you swear his fingers might as well be caressing your bare skin underneath. 
The thought sends your mind into a dazzling spin, letting go of his mouth with a gasp, suddenly needing to take a step back. 
“I have to—I have to go back inside,” you breathe into his slick mouth. “Meet me outside my quarters at midnight.”
As scandalous as it was, you could not deny how alive it made you feel to be like this, meeting in darker corners in the dead of night. But for now, you allow him to fix the bits of your ensemble you could not see. With the bad of his thumb, he blends in the smudges of your rouge, swiping at your lips ever so delicately to ensure he leaves no trace of himself. Tucking the loose strands of hair back behind your ears, and finally, fixing the encrusted crown on your head, a flash of one of the diamond’s gleams reflecting onto his perfect face. 
“You’re beautiful.” There’s a dazed look that graces him. “Beyond beautiful.”
With one last innocent press of your smiling mouth onto his, you promise him your midnight. 
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BY THE TIME IT was finally an appropriate hour for you to excuse yourself for the evening, you were near to exploding entirely. 
Whispers of “Are you alright, your Majesty?” plaguing you through your already racing mind. It was beyond difficult to keep the constant shaking of your foot unobvious, however you could not simply up and leave whenever you wanted—at least not yet. The monarch would remain in an unstable authoritative position for quite some time after ascension, and with the unorthodox situation at hand, you assume you’d really have to push yourself if you were to be of any use as sovereign. 
But when the time finally came and you were escorted out of the grand ballroom, only mere ticks away from the resounding bells of midnight, you were holding back from breaking into a sprint. Outside your quarters it was empty, but you remain steadfast in your refusal for your ladies in waiting tonight, promising you could dress yourself for bed on your own. 
Standing at the double doors of your rooms, still the princess’ quarters as you refuse to move into the Queen’s rooms, you stand waiting. The two guards remain staring straight ahead, and you wait for the clicking of your ladies to go muffled before you ask. 
“Has the Captain approached?” 
“No, your Majesty.”
You try not to feel disappointed, despite knowing the midnight bells were yet to sound. “If he does, allow him in, please.” 
Opening the double doors, you half wish you had let your ladies help you out of the god awful dress, tight and loose in all the wrong places. The jewels are thrown haphazardly on your vanity, needing the heavyweight of them off of your body. 
Perhaps months of little to no bedazzling had rendered you incapable of wearing anything mildly less comfortable than linen and leather, but you suppose you’d slip back into the habit just as easily as you slipped out of it. Your nightgown feels like heaven on your tired, tired body, and the dimly lit interior of your bedchamber is only encouraging you to slip under your covers and fall deep into sleep. 
That was one thing about the ship you doubt you’d ever miss. 
Three rapt knocks outside of the heavy double doors have you sitting rapt at attention, hastily making your way to the door from your vanity. Pressing the front of your nightgown down, you open the door slightly and poke your head out. 
Soonyoung stands at the door, nervous of all things, still clad in his full suit. You smile as you let him in, closing the door to turn the lock. 
“Your guards mortify me.” 
“Oh? So they’re doing their job right?” You walk up to him and grasp onto his lapels, pulling him down to meet the lips you’ve missed so much despite only being hours apart. “Why? Has this big bad pirate found his match in the palace guards of all places?”
“Hmm,” he’s humming against your lips. “I could take them both.”
Giggling like you were in love, you wrap your arms around his neck and hold him close. 
“I hope you weren’t bothered too much,” you say. “The aristocracy seem to have being a pain in the ass written in their birthrights.”
“I think they were too scared to approach, probably thought I’d start swearing and snatching the pearls right off their necks. Some of them were bearable, asked me how long my sword was.”
It’s difficult to not laugh at that, “Well?”
He raises his brows unceremoniously, “Won’t you like to know?”
Taking the opportunity while you giggled uncontrollably at the situation, he goes back placing never ending kisses to your mouth. Sighing involuntarily, you melt into him once again, infinitely more relaxed than in the hallway. 
Soonyoung’s eyelashes brush against yours in a whisper of their own, only reminding you how close you were to him in the moment. His kisses go from soft and fleeting to something with a little more vigour. The warmth of his mouth goes back to overtaking the lower half of your face, sucking and licking into your mouth like his life depended on it. 
If your mind was reeling when his hands were merely ghosts of pressure over your heavy dress, the feeling of his palms and fingers so distinct over your nightgown, the only thing separating you two, is enough to have your knees begin to buckle. 
From your waist, they move to your back, before caressing back to the sides of your waist, thumb running in circles. Gentle handfuls of your flesh, bunching and letting go of the material of your nightgown. Very soon, his mouth leaves yours and instead moves to your jaw, the air in the room letting you feel the wetness that he leaves behind as a passionate trail.
He soon reaches the junction of your jaw and neck, leaving a particularly long suck in the area that has a gasp leaving your mouth. Remaining in that area, you feel the pleasant graze of his tongue on your skin, only making you tilt your head farther out to let him carry out his loving. 
Your mind wanders back to the hands that grope you in ways that would defame you, the unseemly palms that have you needing to feel him all the same.
With grazing hands, you slip your fingers underneath his jacket, pushing it off one shoulder. He understands the message, flicking it off of his frame before loosening his cravat and throwing it somewhere behind him. 
Unlatching from your neck, he comes round to face you to find your face the epitome of disconnected and dazed. 
“Can you wait for me on the bed, my love?”
“But—” The thought of him being even an inch away was most aggravating, but he cuts you off before you can refute. 
“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” Soonyoung rests his forehead against your own, taking your hands in his. “I’m right here. I just need to take this awful suit off.”
Your face must have been peculiar because he’s immediately jumping, panicked. “Uh—do you not want me to, we don’t have to, I just thought—”
“No!” you yelp, wide eyed. “I, um, I’ll wait. On the bed, I mean.”
He lets you walk over to the giant four poster bed, pushing the flow of your gown down when you realise how high it had ridden, cheeks burning scarlet at the thought of exposing so much. 
Hearing ruffles from behind you, you cannot bring yourself to look back at him, already extremely lightheaded and afraid that the sight might make you faint altogether. 
Perhaps you were experiencing a delayed case of sea legs, because it’s more difficult than usual to make yourself comfortable on the soft beddings. You make a futile attempt at slowing your breathing. 
By the time Soonyoung is done, meeting you in the middle, you keep your eyes on his face as he’s immediately climbing over to kiss you softly. Hand on the back of your head, he guides you to lay flat, adjacent to the headboard so you’re laying on the breadth of the bed. 
He handles you like you were made of glass, and it only makes the strange ache between your legs increasingly present and uncomfortable. 
Noting a cool feeling on the base of your throat, you open your eyes and catch the leather cord that dangles from his neck, the letter opener charm that’s attached to the end of it connecting you two as your lips part. Just beyond, through the dip of his collarbones and the valley to his chest, you catch the scar  that curls above his heart. Even lower, you find the smaller wrappings of his scarring wound. 
You trace over the edges of the new addition, shaking hands as you try your best to not brush over the wound. 
On the other side, Soonyoung has his hands on shin as his body hovers over you between your legs. Curling around, he caresses the skin of your bare calf, drifting to the back of your knees. He takes the opportunity to lift your leg, urging you to wrap it around his waist. 
The action has gravity doing what it does best, the hem of your nightgown dropping to bunch over the junction of your leg, your entire thigh exposed for the air. 
Soonyoung takes no time to let his hands wander higher, taking light handfuls of the flesh of thighs, dragging his grip further and further up. 
“Nearly tipped the ship over when I saw you in those fucking trousers,” he says, eyes closed as he drags his mouth over the inner part of your thigh. 
The sound that leaves your mouth is breathy, mind preoccupied with how quickly he was making his way towards the apex of your thighs. He’s using his mouth like he used it on your own lips, nipping at the flesh before biting down hard. 
“Soonyoung!” 
Tongue running over the patch, he sucks on the area to sooth the bite. It’s taking everything out of you to not twitch uncontrollably in his hold, the heat in your core reaching temperatures you’ve never experienced. 
Unlatching himself from your thigh, Soonyoung rears his head slightly. The sight has your head rolling back, mind drifting to the face of the man who’d visited you in your dreams, the same man that had now made home between your legs. 
Before you realise it, the bunched hem of your nightgown is flown upwards entirely, fluttering as the fabric lands on your stomach. 
Your heat is bare underneath, evident with the way Soonyoung keeps his eyes on the now fully exposed part of you. Your chest continues to rise and fall as you lift your head to look at him, eyes half closed and mind muddled.
“What…What’re you doing?” 
Soonyoung looks like you’ve disturbed him from a trance, snapping up to look at you as you ask him your question. 
It hardly registers in his mind. What was he doing? Was it not obvious—
Ah. 
If the mere sight of your bare thighs weren’t enough for him to release his load onto the sheets untouched, your unawareness might just end up doing it for him. 
Of course you didn’t know why he was at eye level with your cunt; women from this world were not supposed to know. 
The buzz in his mind renders him useless for a few moments as his vision blurs, the pain in his lower region unbearable. The thought of him being the first person to do this to you, to pleasure you like this; he wasn’t sure if he’d make it till the end of the night alive. 
Screwing his eyes shut, his palms full of your thighs, he drops his head and counts to ten. 
“Will you let me show you how a Queen is meant to be worshipped?” 
Wet mouthed and unhinged eyes, your arousal was doing nothing but multiplying at the sight of him. 
“Do you trust me?” he asks. “I promise I’ll make you feel good.” 
It takes you less than a moment to nod your head, eyes locked with his. 
Bringing a hand closer, he dips one finger into the beginnings of your hole. Bringing some of the glisten onto his fingers. Your lips are parted and he brings a second finger to gather your arousal, rubbing over your entrance ever so slowly. 
The motion makes you let out a heavy exhale, gripping onto the bunched fabric at your stomach till your knuckles turn white. 
With little warning, you feel his fingertips push and drag upwards, right over the sensitive bundle of nerves. Immediately, he’s rubbing your arousal all over the area, rubbing your clit in rhythmic circles with both fingers. 
You can’t stop it when you throw your head back and let out a slight whimper, relishing in the feeling that overtakes every last sense and capability, anticipating the next surge of pleasure that courses through your entire body like you've been struck by a bolt of something.
Vision obscured, you loll your head to the side when you feel his fingers retract, confused. 
All you catch is the outstretched nature of his tongue, and how it lands directly where his fingers were. 
You let out the loudest moan yet, back arching off the bed as he licks a forceful drag up your cunt before moving back down your clit, circling your hole with the tip of his tongue, right before repeating. He flicks your nub right where he’s found you twitch the most, back and forth as your hips begin to fail at your suppressed stutters, his hands needing to pin you down onto the sheets to continue. 
He becomes more generous, laying his tongue flat now as he massages your nub so good. Your thighs are closing around his ears and he does nothing to stop you, nearly suffocating between them. Hips going from their stutters to a grind, you find your hands flying to his hair, grip tighter than you thought you’d come down with. It doesn’t help that he’s now taken a finger to circle your entrance while his lips suck on your clit. 
“Soonyoung.” It’s all you can say, throat incapable of forcing anything but his name, the burn behind your eyes only making it harder to not say it louder. 
When he pushes the finger in, it has you letting out a moan, the foreign feeling against your walls only forcing them to clamp onto his digit. Gradually, you feel his pace quicken as he slides his finger in and out of your hole, his mouth still doing beautiful things to your cunt. 
It doesn’t take long for him to shove in another finger, stretching your hole as you let out a constant string of noises through the pleasure, ever-building as every passing moment only scrambles your brain further. 
And then you feel him groan, a vibration throbbing through your system. 
It’s suddenly all too much, and before you can tell him what’s going on, you’re rendered incapable. You don’t know where your limbs fly, but all you feel is white hot and overwhelming to an unbelievable degree. 
“Oh–ungh—” Your body is telling Soonyoung all he needs to know as he only pushes into your pussy even further, letting you ride out your high as you claw at him in every way possible. 
Inevitably, the feeling subsides and you realise you’ve been reduced to sobs, tears streaking the sides of your face. Laying flat with your head still on the sheets, you stare at the ceiling of your four poster, trying to remember where you were. 
Barely noticing the man that now hover above you, you hear him whisper. “Are you alright?”
Nodding weakly, you don’t even try to lift a finger in the remaining aftermath. 
“I need words, my love.”
Swallowing thickly, you give him a breathy, “Yes.”
The lower half of his face glistens in the light like unorthodox diamonds, and all you can think about is how you need him closer to you. 
You make an attempt with your nightgown, your trembling arms, still coursing with the aftershocks of your orgasm. 
Soonyoung decides to help, hands pushing your spine into an arch as he pulls the slip up and over your head, now entirely bare in front of him. 
You watch as instead of throwing the fabric away, he brings it to his mouth to wipe the slick off, tainting the gown with your essence. 
Mouth over yours in a salty kiss, you pull him into you as close as humanly possible, needing to feel his heat, his weight, his scent as close as possible. His mouth reaches your throat again, lips brushing over the expanse as he places open mouthed kisses over the nearly faded marks. 
His hands are lingering once again as they ghost the sides of your breasts, thumbs coming close to your nipples before retracting in a caress. He takes them in handfuls as he goes back to busy your lips with his own, massaging the mounds with a pressure just enough to have you reeling. 
Flicking your nipple lightly, he goes back to circle the bud with thumb again. Making himself further familiar, his fingers begin to pinch and pull at them, pressing down to get a noise out of you, one that you sound as you breathe into his mouth. 
Trailing over your stomach, he pushes himself off of you. On his knees, he takes the distance as his chance to look at you in your entirety for the first time. Your fucked out expression and your lack of words is doing nothing but fueling him, your loud breaths somehow more sinful than anything he could ever do to you. 
In one swift motion, he’s slipping his arms beneath you, pulling you up so he can lay you against the headboards and pillows. You barely register what’s happening, having given yourself up to him long before. 
Grabbing one of the millions of cushions on the bed, he swings one over. Using no strength of your own, he lifts your hips and places it down beneath you, effectively propping you up. 
And then he’s meeting you at eye level, hands cupping your face. “I need you to listen to me, darling.”
He waits for confirmation, of which you can only nod, still seeing mild stars. “Do you want to stop?” 
It's a visceral reaction; the violent shaking of your head, the hand that flies to his bicep. “N–no!”
You pause as he grips onto your upper arms tight, right as you continue. “I just—a moment. Don’t stop, please.”
Leaning down, he places a long kiss on the corner of your mouth before moving his head to fit into the crook of your neck. He nuzzles his nose against the skin below your ear. 
“I’m right here,” he whispers. “For as long as you want me.”
His kisses go from desperate to something with a little more intent, pressing his lips into your neck consistently. Oh so gently, it begins to feel like a draught. He turns into calm just as he could become chaos, bringing you down from the after effects of his own actions. 
The hum that leaves you is unthinking, fingers remaining deep in the roots of his hair. Your own nose is pressed against his hair, his scent mixed with sweat infiltrating your nostrils. It fills your head with a pleasant buzz, one that you feel force a pull at the corners of your mouth. 
“I meant it when I said it,” you murmur into his hair. “I don’t want anyone but you.”
Raising his head, he meets your eye, smiling slightly. “I believe you. Forgive me for making you believe I was trying to leave you.”
“You weren’t?” 
He presses his lips into a line, exhaling as he drops his chin to his chest. “I’ve needed to be selfish my whole life just to survive. Leaving…I wasn’t sure how I would’ve gotten on that boat in the morning without taking you with me somehow.”
Moving back to look at you, you realise very quickly there’s more to the mere glassy look in his eye. “For once, I wished to be anything but a pirate, to be anywhere but near the sea. Not when you wouldn’t be there with me.” 
Taking one of his beautifully decorated hands to your mouth, you kiss the soft of his palm. “You’ve done more than anyone ever has to protect me.” 
You laugh against his hand, “This is my turf, captain. Let me protect you… protect us.”
Something injects you with a dose of bold, and you find yourself wrapping your arms around his raised shoulders. “But…I believe we were in the middle of something. I’d hate to ruin the mood.”
The smirk that graces his lips is immediate, pushing you back down onto the sheets as you let a laugh escape you. 
And then you feel something warm graze your bottom lip, pointed in the way it pushes inwards. He’s brought the glinting letter opener charm up to your lips, the trinket pinched between his fingers as he continues to keep it on your mouth. He kisses you deep as the metal remains between you two, your hands run across the expanse of his back, feeling the muscles ripple as he props himself between you. 
“I love you,” he cuts between the kiss to groan, the charm dropping from between your mouths to your chest. 
“I love you, mmh—” His fingers have found your clit mid confession, rubbing quickly as he attempts to get you all hot and withered again. 
Your legs raise on instinct, back arching as he rubs you mercilessly, the pressure building quicker than it had before. 
“I–I think—” you start to tell him, and it seems it’s all he needs to remove his fingers entirely. 
“Soonyoung!” you yelp, landing on the bed with a thud. 
Looking down, you find his hands wrapped around the length between his own legs, and you realise this was your first time seeing it. Past the white-oozing slit, his tip is a painful looking red. If his hands weren’t already pumping and he hadn’t already lined himself up to your hole, you would’ve taken him into your own palms, done exactly with your mouth that he’d done with his own. 
But you can’t find it within yourself to stop him when you feel the initial push of his bulbous tip against your hole, the stretch causing you to drop your mouth open. 
“Fuck,” you hear him curse, and when you look up you find his own eyes screwed shut. His hands grip the plush of the pillow beside your head as tight as ever, face askew like he was holding himself back from combusting entirely. 
Slowly, you feel the stretch turn into something akin to a burn, a sting in the back of your eyes. You let him push himself into you at his own pace, the never ending battle between your mind and your refrained hips ever present as you attempt to keep them at bay. 
He keeps his pelvis flush against yours ince he’s sheathed himself inside you entirely. BOth of your pants fill the thick air of the room, the throb of your walls around his shaft leaving a tremble in his forearm despite your forsake. 
Hand somewhere above your head, you feel Soonyoung pull out ever so slightly before pushing back in. Just like this, in shallow thrusts, he pumps himself in an out of your walls in a slow pattern. 
It begins with a simmering tremble of pleasure that prolongs as he drags his cock in and out, and then in and out, and then—
Your eyes fly open when you feel his hips slam against yours with a resounding sound, fingers gripping his arm as he does it again, your moans penetrating the air. Before you know it, he’s hiked your legs up to wrap around his waist, ankles locking as he goes back to snapping his hips into you. 
“Oh, Soonyoung.”
Your nails are digging into his bicep like it was the only thing tying you to this earth, the only thing keeping you from passing out entirely. He’s taken up a brutal pace, pistoning into your clamped walls with a vigour unmatched. 
All Soonyoung can hear is the stretch of your moans and groans directly in his ear, the obscene squelch of both of your fluids mixing at your middles. Your hands have migrated to his back, clawing at the skin like you’ve been utterly possessed. 
He can’t seem to mind, not when they’ll simply become reopening wounds every time he’ll have you like this, all to himself and no one else. He wonders vaguely if your guards outside can hear the way you’re losing yourself in him just as he is in you, wonders if it appalls them that a filthy pirate gets to have their Queen in his arms as her vindictive pleasure. 
One hand rubbing over your slick clit, he pulls back to sit on his heels, the angle allowing him to keep ever part of you occupied, his spare hand coming up to toy with the pillow of your breast. 
It’s all too much, for the both of you as your collective noises become increasingly frequent and high pitched.
And then he’s pushed you over the edge, the shake of your thighs electrifying as you nearly scream out in the bliss of your high. Hands moving every which way to find a grip as you let the feeling crash into you over and over again. 
“Oh, that’s so good, so good, oh my goodness.”
You’re still in the middle of your climax when Soonyoung can’t take it anymore, letting himself release his load inside of you like a mark. It’s a mess of force and pleasure as the both of you lose sight of your strengths and weaknesses, the feeling of his hot cum shooting into your walls only prolonging your orgasm even further. 
He continues to thrust, continues to play with your nub, continues to flick at your nipples despite the orgasm subsiding. It’s all suddenly too much all at once, the sharp jerk of your body and your voice asking him to stop. 
“Soon—Soonyoung, it’s too much.”
Hands coming to a halt and his thrusts slowing, you feel him ease himself out of you. 
It’s a sight Soonyoung doubts he could ever forget even if he tried, your still pulsating walls doing everything but keeping the milky white of his load inside you, globs of the liquid spilling out as you shudder near lifeless on the bed. His hands grope at the inside of your thighs, pulling your lips apart to take in the mess he’s made. 
He can’t help himself when he pushes two fingers into your hole, feeding his cum back into your hole right where it belongs. 
You’ve only barely started to come round when he meets you at eye level, plopping next to you on the bed. 
“Hi,” he grins. 
“Hi,” you breathe back, hands coming up to touch his face. 
He lets you breathe for a few moments as he finds himself getting off the bed to find your tainted nightgown, moving back to you to spread your legs and wipe you clean as best as he could. 
You find it within yourself to allow him to pull you into a sitting position, a cup of water from the nightstand pressing against your tired mouth. 
“Come on, just one,” he urges as you slump against his chest. 
You take a few sips as he coaxes you into drinking the full cup and half of the second helping. 
He gives up as he holds you against his chest, brushing his fingers through your tangled hair to push past your face. 
“Are you alright?” he asks you. Your eyes are closed when he leans down to place a peck on the apple of your cheek. 
“Mhm,” you muffle. “Want to sleep.
“I’d let you, but…”
“Soonyoung, I can’t go again,” you whine. 
He chuckles, “I meant to ask where we could find some sugar around here. You barely ate anything at the ball.”
“The kitchens?” you answer with a floating question mark. 
Soonyoung can’t help it when he squeezes you so tight it has you complaining loudly, not being able to sustain the love just in the tiny expanse of his heart. 
“Come on, let’s get you some cake before both our hearts give out.”
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BUNDLED UP IN WARMER clothes, the only thing the palace walls hear is the tiny whispers and giggles of you and your lover as you make your way to the kitchens. 
It’s empty at this time of night, the dying embers of the fireplace the only source of light. Soonyoung uses every last bit of his thievery to manage to find a basket of dough balls, the syrup more readily available at the table in the centre.
The tingling in your brain can’t seem to decipher the overwhelming happiness that floods you from the ends of your hair to the tips of your toes. Especially when you call out his name amidst his shuffling, your heart can’t take the grin on his face as he hurries to join on the floor in front of the fireplace. 
Arm looped through his own and your head on his shoulder, you decide you’d be quite okay dying like this. 
The dough balls are cold and the syrup is probably a little too sweet, but you can’t possibly complain when it warms you just the same. 
“I’ve despised my name my entire life,” Soonyoung starts in the silence, picking at the insides of his treat. “Some old merchant sailor was giving his ship away in exchange that the taker would take care of it. He’d built his Tigress from the first board to the last sail, but the years had made their mark. It was practically falling apart when I took it off his hands.”
He pushes the remaining bit of the pastry into his mouth, muffled as he continues, “He had a strange name, said it was given to him by his crew when they realised he was born without a name. Hoshi. I liked it well enough so I kept it.”
“Soonyoung—”
“That one. I wanted to replace the name I loathed, the one my own mother gave me.” You watch as his throat bobs as he swallows. “Ash is my birthplace, my mother worked in the brothels where I was born only because she couldn’t get rid of me.”
Taking one of the hands that wrap around his arm, he brings your fingers to your mouth, kissing the tips of each one. “I despised that name, until I heard it from your lips.” 
“Soonyoung.” It felt right on your tongue, like you were destined to say his name. 
“Yes, my love?” He smiles softly. 
“I love you.”
“I love you more,” he says as he kisses you again. “Thank you for keeping my name, thank you for giving it life.”
You take the opportunity to grab one of the syrup soaked dough balls from the basket and stuff them into his mouth. “Enough, don’t tell me all this luxury’s made you soft.” 
It was a jab but a lighthearted one in any case, you loved to see this side of him and you doubt you would ever get enough of seeing him like this. Vulnerable with his softer smiles and squinted eyes. 
Bringing one of your digits to your mouth, you suck the remaining syrup off your fingers. 
Soonyoung is quick to take notice as he takes your hand and brings your fingers up to his mouth, running his tongue over the pads of your fingers to take in the remaining sugar left on your fingers. 
He keeps his eyes locked onto yours as he sucks on the tips of your fingers, making sure every last hint of sweetness is gone. 
And then he’s kissing you, tongue in your mouth as he moves against your lips slowly. 
Breaking apart, you whisper, “As much as I’d love to, the bakers will be coming in any minute now.”
Soonyoung’s grin is dangerous, and you find out why the minute you feel his arms loop around your waist and under your thighs, lifting you clean off the floor of the kitchens. 
You squeal before you can help it, his lips finding home in your neck as you laugh as loud as your chest would allow. 
You could get used to this. And you will. 
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THE SERVANTS CARRYING THE giant stack of plates nearly topple over when you sprint past them, yelling a loud apology over your shoulder as you do nothing but hasten your pace. 
The paper in your hands is clutched tight in your fists as you run to where your carriage awaits, near yelling at the driver to make it to the docks before the streets would be full of the early morning merchants and bakers, slowing the gallops of the decorated horses. 
The town is waking as your carriage races past, the beginnings of the new day making itself known as the sun peers through the gaps of the houses. You’re incapable of sitting still, your heels tapping against the floors of your cabin incessantly as the docks grow nearer and nearer. 
And then you see it, the rush of dock handlers that see the royal carriage slow to a stop in front of the boardwalk. You slam the door open before any of the tens could do it for you, breaking into a sprint as you find the distinct flag of the royal crest wave high on the other end of the docks. 
You had already seen Soonyoung off in the dark of the night as he made his way to the ship that was near ready to depart as you slide to stop in front of the anchored ship. 
There was nothing sane about what you were doing, the chortles and shocked noises of sailors and merchants deaf to ears as you finally spot him near the prow. 
His eyes meet yours and he has to do a double take. 
Panting and needing to hold onto your knees for support, you peer up as you watch him run towards the ramp that leads down to the docks to see you, to ask why you were here when he’d kissed you goodbye mere hours ago. 
By the time he meets you at the wobbly boardwalk, you’ve somewhat recovered.
“Are you alright?” he asks you as soon as you’re within earshot, hands grasping onto your upper arms in evident concern. 
“I had to tell you, this came in right after you left.” You brandish the paper clutched into your fist, smoothing it over as the light catches the red stamp at the bottom. 
It takes him less than a minute to realise what it said, eyes blinking rapidly and mouth gaping like a fish. “They…They said yes?” 
“They said yes,” you repeat, nodding furiously as you break into a smile. “We can get married, Soonyoung, they said yes.”
His arms are crushing you before you know it, wrapped around you so tight as he buries his face into your neck, repeating it like a mantra, “They said yes…”
By the time you part, he keeps his arms around you, still embracing you in front of the entire port. You take hold of his face bringing it closer to you. 
“Three months, and then you come home,” you breathe. “And I get to marry you, in front of everyone.”
Soonyoung lets his lips meet your own in a chaste kiss as he corrects you, “I get to marry you in front of everyone.” 
There’s a thud of something nearby, and you look up to find the crew of the Tigress hanging over the railings of the newly appointed naval ship that looked suspiciously like a pirate’s. 
“He can’t come back home, if he doesn’t leave!” Seungkwan yells over cupped hands. 
You’d like to send him an affectionate gesture involving your middle finger, but choose to save him in front of the crowded port. 
“You’ll miss me, Seungkwan, just you wait,” you send him a pointed glare that he simply scoffs at. 
He might miss you, but you’ll definitely miss the lot of them when you return to a significantly emptier palace. 
“Don’t let the royal snobs walk over you, you’re a better sailor anyway,” you tell Soonyoung. “Not that I needed to tell you, anyway.”
“I promise on our future wedding to be a complete menace.” He grins at the declaration as you admire him in the morning light. 
One last time, you memorise the dips and hills of his features, pressing your final kiss into his lips as the voices telling him to hurry it up grow louder. 
He blows you a kiss from the railings as the anchor is hoisted, and you send him one right back. 
As your carriage trudges its path back to the palace, at a pace more acceptable for both the stamina of the horses and the integrity of the structure, your eyes remain glued to the shrinking ship that fades into the distant horizon. 
There’s a pang in your chest, one that brings a tear to your eyes. It’s all very dramatic, the way the melancholy makes a home in your heart. An inkling tells you how you’ll probably become quite used to the feeling, learn to greet it like a friend. 
For now you enter the lighter palace, and take your place on the chair in your study and find solace in the ideas your mind brings. 
That no matter how long Soonyoung will remain far from you, he will always come back home to you. 
Always. 
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[AN]: ty for joining my babies on their journey, i cannot thank you all enough for reading all 48fuckingK words of this i love you guys truly!!! thank you for all the reblogs and comments on the other parts, it makes me genuinely so happy to see you guys enjoy this universe that i've built. I read every single comment and know i appreciate all of it so so much <3
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the---hermit · 3 days
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05|06|2024
New day new struggles working on this history paper. I cannot stress enough how stressed I am about how bad the new research interface of my uni is, I feel like ever since they did the big update it's super complicated to get results that have to do with what you are looking for and that are accessible too. Moreover no one cares about this topic because I genuinely cannot find anything. I have found a couple of articles to help me with context but not much. By the end of the week I plan on finishing reading and highlighting what resources I have found and then I'll see what I can make of them, and get back to the professor. I am procrastinating emailing her back because I have no idea what to say tbh. My English lit review on the other hand is going pretty well, and reviewing in the afternoons seems to be a good plan. Since I am a bit more tired having to review out loud helps me with staying focused, and I also don't have to read historical sources all day, or else I'd lose my mind. This afternoon I struggled to stay focused anyway, but at least I got some stuff done, if I had to continue my history research I wouldn't have done anything probably. My brain is just very very tired again.
Today's productivity:
started my morning with an audiobook
more struggling looking for historical sources (I found a couple more but I am keeping those for the very end because they are once again not 100% relevant to what I have to do)
read and highlighted quite a few sources I downloaded at the beginning of the week (a couple were more or less useful a couple were a waste of time, but maybe I'll quote a couple of context details in the end, who knows. At the moment I only need to read two more and then I am done with my first round of secondary sources, but one of those might get deleated because I'm pretty sure is totally useless)
got to practice my French because of a couple of said historical sources, and wrote down the new words I learned today (surprisingly my understaning is better than I expected giving that I have not used my French in years, I should really get back to it more seriously)
continued my first outloud review of all my English lit materials (today I started working on the Shakespeare part, it will take a couple of days to finish it, especially bc today I didn't do as much as I had hoped)
wrote a little summary of a couple of sentences for all the scenes of The Merchant Of Venice in order to review it without having to reread it for the fourth time
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goldensunset · 2 days
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i think one of the biggest reasons khux has such a devoted following is bc it was released in staggered episodes over a series of several years as opposed to being an all-at-once thing. granted even people like me who came in after the whole thing was over and binged it all at once can and have fallen in love with it too but the massive amount of love and energy in the fandom that’s been around since the start has played such a huge role in that so it really creates a ricochet effect there
like just in general stories released gradually over time, promising just a little at a time, are perfect grounds for fandom culture to grow. people are more likely to focus in on individual scenes, whether big or small, instead of their mind only lingering on the big plot twist or finale etc, bc every little crumb is a feast when you’ve been hungry for a while. and the more time people spend engaging with the little things they more fall in love with the work as a whole. people make theories and comics and analyses etc while waiting, and those fanworks attract new people to the fandom. like genuinely fandoms are better advertisers than anything official sources could ever put out. when a thing is fresh in people’s minds and they’re hungry for more, and they know they can actually count on getting more, they get infinitely more excited
with most video games being an all at once (maybe twice) thing, which is understandable, and with more and more tv shows adopting the practice of dropping entire seasons at once, you don’t see this kind of delayed gratification in media delivery as often anymore. like everything has become instant and fleeting and people are very unlikely to let something marinate in their mind and process their thoughts when the next installment is right there already and they can get the answer right away
in the context of kingdom hearts specifically khux is so far the only one to do this kind of thing. khdr could have done that but it didn’t give most people enough to really latch onto right off the bat before going into a long hiatus, and then it dropped everything afterwards. imagine the theories and analyses and works we could’ve had after each episode running on limited context! i just hope khml does this right. like if it maintains steady updates, maybe like one new episode every month or two over a couple years, it has the potential to be even more beloved than it already is
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potato-lord-but-not · 9 hours
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hi jay!
so, i've been staying up until at least 3am as of late due to the simple fact that i cannot fucking sleep, so!
i've decided that i'm going to listen to all of these podcasts you make art for because i actually want to know context and whatnot for your art becuase your art is rlly fire and you're one of my favorite artists but pretty much the only fandom i know anything about that you do art for is will wood, and i love will wood. so,, automatically i think you probably also have good tastes in podcasts so im going to listen to them.
which should i start with?
(srry this is so long btw i like talking)
Well I’d say camp here and there since you’re a Will Wood fan !!! it’s very goofy and silly but also slightly disturbing and horrifically sad <3 also Will did the soundtrack so <33 AND if you enjoy that you can try welcome to night vale because they have similar vibes although it tends to stay more light hearted then chnt :))
Wolf 359 is both absolutely hilarious and also gut-wrenchingly tragic. it gets its own category bc it’s not entirely horror nor supernatural, I mean yeah there’s aliens but that’s sci-fi supernatural so it doesn’t count. Really really good one to start with if you like character centric stories !!!
Malevolent is like. really fucking good. I’m not even sure how to sell it it’s just amazing. Definitely the scariest out of the one’s I’ve listened to so far, but damnnnnn it’s so worth it. the themes… the growth…. the divorces……
And the Magnus archives also,, it was my first fiction podcast I really got into and it’s so so so good!! if you’re a causal r/nosleep enjoyer you’ll love this one. it’s basically spooky short stories with a plot happening in the background (at least. that’s how it seems)
Anyway yeah sorry !!! I’d say camp here and there and if you don’t like that one perhaps tma or malevolent, depending on your preferences. hope the sleep situation figures itself out tho !!
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dearweirdme · 3 days
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I was just curious about you and other followers and supporters of Taekook, how we’ve all felt about their relationship the further in we’ve gotten from the beginning of their enlistment. To put into context: despite Paris and T*ennie and everything, 2023 really did come close to convincing me 100% of Taekook, though most days I still tried to retain a healthy sense of skepticism about them.
These days though, we haven’t seen them in a while, so now I feel probably closer to 60-70% that they are SOMETHING more than friends. Like I almost ask myself each day, could they really be that? Isn’t that a little impossible? And if they are… can they manage to make it through this difficult period of extended separation? What would they even be like when they come out of the military?
It’s not like I’m having doubts, but it does just seem too good to be true the further away we get from seeing them in the present time.
I wonder if you or your other followers are feeling this way…
Hi anon!
My feelings and ideas about them haven’t changed. My expectations about seeing them together or hearing about them together during enlistment were very low even before they left last december. To me this is a period of time in which we will most likely get nothing to base our understanding of the current state of their relationship on. My state of mind going through this period is basically that I believe they were probably together before they enlisted, I am aware of the possibility of them not making it through this, but I have high hopes that they will. I think a possible breakup will be noticeable when BTS reunites.. and in the meantime all we can do is base our thoughts on whatever we might get to see.
I’ve seen comments about them having broken up because Tae hasn’t posted Jk yet and on them having not seen each other yet. To me those things mean nothing. Would it surprise me if Tae posted Jk at one point.. no, but at the same time I’m never expecting him to. Even last year, though it was a great Tkk year, we probably saw them together way less than they actually were. Just like all members probably saw each other more than we were aware of. They choose when to post about each other, they do not only post about each other when they actually meet. People will call me an idiot for this probably, but Jk doesn’t seem to want to be seen at the moment.. and I think all members would probably be aware of how the others want to be present in fandom right now.
It’s a hard time for those who like to have reassurances every now and then. Selfdoubt is a thing and it very often occurs when looking back at things. It does not surprise me that Tkk fandom has become a bit.. quiet lately. It is something we have to deal with though, because I truly think we won’t get much realtime Tkk for another year. Personally I’m not bothered much, because I always deal well with not knowing everything. I did not become a Tkkr without looking into things extensively first, and my ideas about everything I’ve seen have not changed. To me all the Tkkry from the past is still as valid as it was before enlistment.
I always kinda wonder about the ‘good to be true’ aspect I see sometimes (and I’m not wanting to be critical here, I just truly wonder), because to me that seems like people think Tae and Jk are this magical fairytale come to life. If we are correct about them I do feel we are seeing something unique, but to me it does not carry much of the magical fairytale. I think what we have spotted is the very cruel treatment of two boys/men in love. Sure, they are rich and famous and handsome and their love ia of the greatest kind, but a lot of the things we have spotted is actually signs of closeting, of two sensitive boys having to hide their feelings. While I do get the romantic side of seeing Tae and Jk together (obviously I do 🥰🥰🥰), I have at times thought that maybe if I were wrong about them it wouldn’t be a bad thing.. because that would mean that they didn’t go through some of the hard stuff I think they went through.
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sugar-grigri · 5 hours
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Just wanted to point out my little grain of rice about your response to lottimiqo's analysis, don't really have to post my ask btw but since I can't comment on the og post I'm just gonna point it out here.
About Denji being the one who who started the kiss... I just can't see it that way.
Simply because Denji never, but NEVER touches the women who have touched him back. Not even for a rush of hormones.
Unless he haves complete and explicit permission to do so, he goes for it. Case we have only seen with (rip<"3) Power.
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(sorry the pages aren't in order.)
The other times Denji haves "made" contact with those women, he just never touched or tried anything back.
Makima #1
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Immediately backs off after she guides his hand on him.
Himeno #2
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Again, he may accepts but he just doesn't start anything back. Doesn't even take his own clothes off, Himeno does. (I didn't download the page of her taking his shirt off.)
Fumiko #3
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Once again, taking this one as the closest case to him and Yoru on #167. In terms of situation mostly,,,
He keeps his hands for himself.
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He accepts, he asks if they should do it now. But does he jump into action?
The fact that Denji is looking at "Asa" in that moment just makes me doubt more he would start anything. He likes Asa, that's why I just don't think he would dare to kiss without "her" stating it explicitly. But "she" doesn't. Yoru just leans in again after, from my perspective, he backs off.
Anyways sorry if I'm not that clear or didn't explain it well but I hope the examples give a view of my point. 😿
Love your posts loulou! 🫶🏼
You're right to point all this out, it's very relevant and makes chapter 167 all the more coherent. But there's also something important to ask: why? Why does Denji never seem to take the initiative?
I think it's because he was subconsciously afraid. But not afraid just to take a step with a girl. Fear of disappointment (and trauma)
You were right to mention Power at the very beginning, because it actually starts a vicious circle. There's always the moment when Denji wonders if he's finally going to get what he wants, and it turns out in the worst possible way.
Denji experiences his first disappointment with Power, realizing in the same way that touching breasts doesn't produce the effect he'd so dreamed of. Questioning his way to happiness. Makima takes over, subtly picking up on this search for happiness in getting close to a girl, to manipulate him. In the long term. In a more insidious way that prevents Denji from realizing that things aren't going his way.
Himeno is a transmitter of trauma. She's drunkenly kissed all the new recruits - it's like a rite of passage. Trauma is the vomit it literally regurgitates down the throats of new generations. Denji lost his "innocence" too at this point, unconsciously realizing that he was the object of consolation from failing adults.
Reze kissed Denji, cutting off his tongue. In fact, she had no particular reason to do so. In fact, by cutting out his tongue, she is expressing her desire to silence Denji. For it is through their discussions that they realize their similarities, and therefore the risk of empathizing with him. Cutting out his tongue allows her to make him suffer as her mission requires.
I've talked a lot here about Fumiko. Fumiko is the symbol of all this unconscious sexual trauma for Denji, openly manipulative, adapting to Denji's reactions, giving him the impression that he's the great hero in control, promising to do him good, to protect him, while dreaming of making him a collector's item.
In short, if Denji didn't react, it was also because he had unconsciously understood from a purely physical point of view that these were not the right circumstances, the right context. The accumulation of all these experiences has also pushed him to withdraw into himself, while continuing to hope. Because Denji hasn't yet really experienced what he's been longing for, the bits and pieces of experience have given him a bitter taste for sex. But since it's his only hope, he clings to it.
That's why I think we'll know when we're in the right circumstances when Denji reacts with his hands. Embracing another is a sign of trust. It's always the others who have done it, never him, on his own.
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Anonymous asked:
[ask edited for length and content]
Egodeath/Jealous Anon. Thank you. I feel better after your response. I wanted to clarify two things, just if you want more context: With the similarities, I think I'm afraid that if I do get published, my books will be instantly rejected because people think it's just another copycat. I've seen people instantly reject a book just because it was similar to one that's already popular. I put so much effort into making sure my ideas are my own, it would really hurt if readers thought the work was copied and not my own.
You are deeply overthinking things here.
If you want to be a published writer, you need to reconcile yourself with the fact that everyone isn't going to love your books. And that's fine, because no one has EVER written a book that was universally loved 100% across the board. No one. Ever. In history. Every single book ever written has its critics. Every single author whose ever put pen to paper has people who don't like them. This is just a reality.
If some people don't like your books because they're similar to another book they read, that has nothing to do with you. That's their prerogative. Other people might dislike your books because they're not similar enough to another book they read. It's pointless to worry about it because you will never please everyone. Why people don't like your book is none of your concern.
I guess with ACOTAR it was just too many specific things. The character design and role of Rhysand. The telepathy between the love interests. There was a whole lot more but I put it down so long ago I've forgotten most now - but at some point it just felt like reading my own notes when I opened one of those books. The worst was when a fictional name I made up was used in that book - and given it's popularity I 'd probably have copyright issues if I tried to keep it in my work anyway. I think that was just the last straw to make me quit the series.
It happens, and it's honestly not as big a deal as it feels like it is now. Again, ideas don't come from nowhere. As much as you strive to make sure your ideas are your own, our "creative wells" are all filled from the same places, and human experience is only so varied, so the odds of multiple people coming up with the same things over and over are actually pretty likely. You're holding yourself up to impossible standards by expecting yourself to create stories that are wholly original and share no similarities with any other story.
Let me share a few times when this has happened to me in hopes it will help you see it's not that big a deal...
A few years after I wrote my first novella (which was not yet published at that time), I saw a commercial for a new TV show. The background concept, setting, and many surface details were pretty identical to my novella, but what KILLED me is one of the main characters had the same name and nickname as my protagonist... and they weren't even that common a name/nickname for that time period. I was sick... absolutely sick. It completely derailed my plans to flesh the story out into a full novel and publish it. Now, YEARS later, I just laugh when I think about it because the things that felt like glaring similarities now are nothing. The plot and conflict of the TV show are completely different from my novella. In the intervening years, I've come across countless other stories with the same background concept, same setting, same surface details, similar characters... and all of those shows, movies, stories, books, video games, comics, graphic novels, plays--whatever--have people who adore them and DGAF about any similarities to some random TV show.
Less than two years after my debut novel was published, I was reading a newly released book and was absolutely floored by the number of similarities. Two less common names, two unusual titles used in a similar way, and three unusual descriptive words used in the same way. Plus, 24 bigger similarities like setting similarities, plot point similarities, situational similarities... Were it not highly unlikely that the author had read my book, and had it not been for the short amount of time between my book and their book, it would have been tempting to think they'd intentionally copied me, because the similarities were just that glaring. But the reality is, we're just two writers who think alike, and in the years since, I've found a few other writers with whom I constantly have these kinds of similarities. They happen, and they feel world-ending at the time, but I promise you they're not as big a deal as your brain is making them into.
So, seriously, stop worrying about it. Similarities are going to happen, and they're going to be glaring sometimes, and there's nothing you can do about it. There's absolutely no way you can write a book that has not a single similarity with an existing story, and even if you could, that's not going to mean you'll write a book that will be universally loved 100% by everyone. People are going to dislike your book no matter what you do, and some of those people may see similarities between apples and oranges. There's nothing you can do about it. You're not writing for them anyway. You're writing for the people who are going to LOVE your book, and that will be the majority, similarities or not. ♥
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hiskillingjar · 3 days
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First of all if this is a question you are not going to answer you can skip it.
If Mc got pregnant and told them she/they was pregnant, how would Ren Strade Law react?
g-d i've been on such a pregnancy kink lately. i blame it on the end of my twenties approaching and being in a relationship with a heterosexual cis man. anyway.
ren 🦊
ren would be absolutely fucking delighted oh my g-d
he might just cry. like full on
you do a test and he might start crying
he gets someone new to take care of (and depend on him), and your bond is going to get even stronger. why wouldn't he be delighted!
he'd also have a brain and be super gentle and. Normal Boyfriend with you while you were pregnant
because like obviously you can't stand some of the things you usually do, and he's not going to put your body through any stressors. you might have kind of an easy go of it, to be honest
he'd even take you to a hospital for check-ups and stuff, just to make sure there's nothing to worry about, in spite of the whole. kidnapping thing. what a nice guy!
and like. obviously he's gonna get a little eager about your body changing, your hips and tummy filling out (your breasts getting bigger)
seeing the effects of his "love" on your entire being, your body might make him go a little insane (positive)
that's fine though. you're pretty insane by the end of it too <3
written this with fox :)
law 🥀
law would freak OUT
oh my g-d they are not ready for that at all
idk law is so. on the precipice of death at all times, so the very idea of creating life with you would really make them panic
like. okay in the context of them in canon, they might lose themselves and accidentally kill you
(and open you up and cut out the foetus to put in a jar. freak)
but okay. you make a baby and SOMEHOW you manage to carry it to term
they still wouldn't really know what to do but may be a little more intrigued as time goes by
the human body changes so much during pregnancy, your bones shift, your organs move to make room for this...invasive thing inside you. that's pretty interesting
and they'd definitely be compelled by the idea of you sharing your body with them to such an intimate degree. you let them curl up inside you, be carried there, be assimilated to create a combination of the two of you...there's romance to that
things that freak you out can be pretty sexy!
strade 🔨
strade would honestly be in two minds about it
like on the one hand, he's a total hedonist who wants to do what he wants and works in porn and snuff. what business does he have having a child?
but then. he's a man (derogatory). the idea of claiming you, corrupting you, taking everything you are and creating a legacy for himself...that's compelling. that's interesting!
and what man can say no to big boobs and a heightened libido
and like if you're insane (like i am), the whole pseudo-housewife thing just has its natural conclusion in him knocking you up so. that may be where the story takes me
granted, he's an idiot and would treat you like he normally does, baby be damned (ren would be sooooo mad at him for it which just gives him more incentive to do it)
and he also wouldn't let you go to a hospital for check ups so like. hope you have a lot of pregnancy books, because you're doing this on your own babes
he MIGHT pay a dark web surgeon to deliver it though, american mary style. he doesn't really want you dead, after all
unfortunately he might be a pretty good dad.
he's got a lot of energy to keep up with a baby, he's interested in seeing it grow, he's interested in seeing how it develops.
might see it more as like. a neat houseplant or a dog, not really a human being though
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Happy birthday over a drink
Billy Russo x Fem!Reader
Hello, here's a little something for @becauseicantthinkwritings, a very happy birthday to you ! I still kept it tamed (i think), I hope you'll like ! (also posting this way later than anticipated, I had a terrible day, hope yours was better) Obviously reader is mostly based on you, I still kept it pretty vague though
For context, this based on The Red String Club, a video game, set in a cyberpunk world with a barman able to enhance specific emotions through his drinks
Warning ; 18+ , alcohol, allusion to sex, could be interpreted as CNC or non-consensual by some but reader defenitly has agency over herself, she's just into it
No double check we die as men
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It was pouring and you wanted to cry. You had missed the bus and now you were stuck on foot. The feeling of your clothes sticking to your skin made you want to tear your whole being. All of this was just the cherry on top of the shitty cake that was your week, all you wanted was to be left alone, your boss being enough of an annoyance on its own. Your plan was just to buy yourself a treat, a little gift perhaps, watch your show under a warm blanket and try out that new toy, but it seems fate chose otherwise. When the rain got stronger you ran to get to a dryer place, free from the drop of water hammering your cheeks, which led you in front of a shop with an awning. Breathing deeply to catch your breath, in hope of stopping the feeling of burn in your throat from the sudden sprint and savoring not hearing the rain directly in your ears. You blinked a couple of times, getting out the water bordering your prosthetic eyes and turn to look at the front shop. It was nothing out of the ordinary, selling glasses and cups, some teapot and carafes, what caught your eyes however was the multitude of ads on the front glass, all directing to local shops, tattoos, cakes, knitting, arts and crafts... One caught your eye in particular: The Blackbird Club, a bar, with a promise of delicious cocktails. Perfect. If you couldn’t follow your initial plan at least you could get wasted, it wasn’t too far either. As you took a photo to be sure to not forget, the world seems to approve, with the rain slowing down. 
You walked for a couple of minutes, having to go through small paths, you think you might be lost and panic but as you are losing hope of a sweet drink you see it: a building you would qualify as... vintage? It was almost comical, so small compared to the modern building surrounding it that from here, and with the cloudy rain, seem to touch the skin. Speaking of, the rain could not touch you here, The Blackbird was put far from the world, hidden away, so low, yet, the neon of the big sign provided you a form of peace, you couldn’t even hear the sounds of the huffs and puffs and hustles of the big town, a protective bubble.  
You walked up to the front door, but frown when it doesn’t open on its own. You look at the photo on your phone, it says it should be open, so you grab the door handle and push, it was indeed not close. Vintage. Right. It made you feel dumb because not all doors were automatic as a matteroffactyourowndoorsathomewere- you sigh, you were just trying to justify yourself now.  
Entering the bar the first thing you notice is the emptiness, and that made you frown, was it REALLY close after all? Then why was the door open? You decided to close it behind you anyway and took a couple of cautious steps further inside.  A piano was against the wall by the entrance, many tables and chairs were around the room, a big room at that, the actual bar was in the middle, with stools around it. You scanned the place, more tech than the naked eye could see, but way less than any place you go to nowadays, it was refreshing. 
“Hum.. Hello?”, you weren’t sure you were supposed to be here, debating whether you should go back home or not, a sound made you jump and a moment later a man came from a door at the back of the room, damn, he was hot. Dark hair, dark eyes, athletic built, wearing a white shirt with rolled up sleeves, making you feel like a Victorian man seeing ankles for the first time, strong forearms too. He gave you the most charming smile you have ever seen before going to the bar, he was limping you noticed. “Good evening miss, how may I help you?” 
You took a small breath in, more nervous than you thought and decided to take a stool, looking down at your phone, “Oh, hum, I saw an ad for your bar and I thought I should try it out.” You gave him a small teasing smile, leaning slightly, “Are your cocktails as good as you say they are?” He does not flatter, leaning as well to get closer, “I like to think they’re even better”. You take your lip between your lips and back away, looking at the board showcasing the many choices to conceal the effect he had on you, you realize wouldn’t mind having him as a distraction, at all. He does see it of course, and take a glass to clean to not push you too much, “Tell me, what’s the occasion?” 
“It’s my birthday”, you smiled at him. “I see, and what’s the plan for tonight?” Your shoulders drop “Get wasted hopefully, black out until tomorrow morning, rest for the weekend, and go back to work on monday” you let out a heavy sigh, looking up, doing your best saving you from the embarrassment of crying in front of a stranger, feeling the stress of the week wanting to slip away through the tears, shit, you hated this, “I had the most terrible week and my boss suck, I fucked my thumb and now I have to get it fixed up, that dumb prosthetic hurts of course” you mumble the rest under your breath. You straighten your back looking back down at him. “So I hope your concoction are up for the challenge” 
He gave you a sympathic look, “Ow love, I’m sorry to hear this, what if we started by taking a look at that thumb? I might be able to help”. You gave him a long look, scanning him, you couldn’t see any upgrades on him, “It’s kind of you but are you sure ?” 
He laughs lowly, “Believe me, I have many talents”, he winked at you with a knowing smile. Your only responses to that are to shake your head, unbelievable, and to show him your hand. He carefully takes it in his own, a focus look on his face, touching and feeling around. While he is busy on your hand, you take the time to observe him more thoroughly, you notice a tiny scar on his chin, small eye bags, you wonder if he gets enough sleep. Your mind doesn’t have the time to go far, your brought back by a sharp pain in your hand, making you hiss.  
“Sorry, love” passing his hands on your wrist, trying to south the pain, “I think I know what is wrong now, you’re okay with me fixing it?” at your nod he looks in a drawer and gets some tools, you observe him work, grimacing at the little pain here and there, you have to admit you were not expecting a barman to be able to so easily fix a prosthetic, there is no hesitation, going with a tool after another, like a dance, skillful hands. You laugh slightly when he put a splint on you. “Isn’t it going to far?” 
“No, no moving that thumb of yours until you need to go back to work, gotta let it rest, understood miss?”, he was not letting your hand go, caressing it with his thumb, looking into your eyes. They are so dark, you could see yourself in them, “Yes sir” you responded with a low voice. You did catch his eyes going over your lips before straightening his back, you felt a bit smug about it. “What about a couple of drinks on the house? As a happy birthday and as a reward for behaving so well?” Your breath caught in your throat, you liked his voice and wanted to hear him say some sweet things in your ears, you felt a bit pathetic, getting wet after only ten minutes in the presence of that man, you blame it on not being fucked properly for the last couple of months. “That would be very kind of you, though I’m not sure it’s a good business model, and you already saved me with my-” he puts his hand up to stop your rambling “Anything for a beautiful lady, now, what would you want?” You look at the board once more and actually pay attention this time, you see many names you recognize and many you don’t, “What would you recommend?”  
At your words you felt the air changing, as if you had pronounced the most important words you had ever spoken, “I have a special drink, giving quite the experience, going at the deepest of your being and pulling out your true emotions” You frowned “It’s not drug is it?” He burst out laughing “NO! No, of course not, only the finest alcohol here love” Your shoulders relax “Alright then” You might second guess yourself if such a pretty smile was not asking. 
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Time stops, Billy takes a deep breath, feeling the power, he has been doing it for so many years now, and he had got use to the feeling, but he never loved it any less. Falling upon this bar might have been Billy’s greatest blessing, he might not have been able to follow his initial dream but now he was able to access so many things, turning into an information broker, he knew all the dirty little and big secrets of the upper world, the aristocrats eating in his hands, without even needing to take a step out, all coming to him on his own, the bar pulling strings to get him what he wanted, and sometimes what he needed. 
He looked at you, now that you couldn’t shy away from his eyes. Such a beauty, he wondered what the club had in mind bringing you here, he sure was not the one behind it, he still had an idea, smirking to himself.
Focusing, he looked inside of you, not having an upgrade did not mean he did not have any enhancement. Visualizing, the first couple feeling and emotions on his way pains him for you; big, lot of tiredness, from the stress, of work and life; slightly smaller, frustration and anger, he huffs when he feels you wanting to punch your boss; and very present, sadness too. He wants to reach out to you, reassure you, that everything would be alright, he could recognize a bit of him in you; big too, pain that tumb of yours must have been no joke. He shivers to the last time he point out pain in someone, their face as they beg for mercy, he shooks his head and refocuse. He is reassured seeing joy, not as imposing but resilient, what a brave girl you were. 
He looks further, and his jaw dropped. During his time here, Billy have met many people, almost all the people he had dug into had lust in a way or another, being a good-looking man helped him quite a lot, it was fascinating to see all the information someone was willing to give for a chance to sleep with him when he made them a horny mess. But YOU. He had never met someone with a lust so prominent as yours, he wondered how you could conceal of this, he had noticed your interest in him, but you must be absolutely soaked. He smiles; this was going to be fun. 
Time goes back to its natural flow, now that Billy knows where to go. You did not notice anything, looking as cute as ever. 
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Billy goes on to grab his ingredients “Tell me, love, what do you do for a living” A bright smile on your face, it warms his heart, “Oh well, I work at the hospital, I’m the one in charge of fixing the machines, cleaning them up, all of that” He hums, “An important job I see, is it what those eyes are for? And the hand?” You nod, “Exactly, thank you SO much again for my thumb, you really helped me, I would have gotten into trouble”. After a second you answered his puzzled face, “It’s just not the first time they have to fix me up, I can’t afford any upgrade, so I’m stuck with this one, and I don’t really always give it the care it needs so..” He shakes his head, making little disapproving sounds, handing you the finish drink, “I hope you’ll take better care; it’d be a shame to have a missing limb, huh?” 
You look at the drink in your hand, dark red, swirly, drinking a mouthful. You hum, feeling the liquid traveling down your throat. “I guess I’ll just have to come back here for you to fix me again, huh?” He snickers, “Any day, love” 
You’re feeling warm, like a fire traveling through you, dividing itself to explore and not leave a single spec of you unexplored, “Can I ask you a question?” “Is it about my leg?” You retract, realizing how much your initial question was inappropriate, what was wrong with you, no you cannot ask a stranger if he can bend you over the counter and pound into- you shook your head, “Y-Yeah, but you d-” “I got hurt on my third season, my body couldn’t take any modifications so.. I was forced to stopped, luckily I found this place. I took care of it, and it took care of me” You smiled, “I’m happy you found your way” after an instant you realized, not from imagining yourself screaming his name from the deepest of your core, nono, “I don’t even know your name“ “How rude of me, I am Billy Russo, pleasure to meet you love” You introduce yourself, and made small conversation, seeping on your drink along the way. 
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Billy was impressed on your ability to stay put together, he was expecting you to either be begging on your knees for him or rush home as fast as you could to take care of it yourself. He saw your iris change shapes and colors, looking now like tiny pink-redish hearts, how cute. You were quite entertaining, and of good conversation too, he wouldn’t mind for you to come back, regardless on how the night will end. 
You did slowly fell yourself go into madness however and was trying very hard not to grind against the stool, you fell on just crossing and un-crossing your legs in hope of satiating yourself. After you hundredth time doing so Billy decided to at intervene “A problem love?”. He looked ravishing, and you don’t think you could.. Well think. “Please”. He laughs lowly, making you let out a pitiful sound, “If you want something you’ll have to ask, love”. That does not help your needy brain, so you took his one of his hands and guide it to your lips, taking two fingers in, sucking on them slowly. He follows your guidance and move his finger further down your mouth, doing little movements that make you groan. “Would you look at that, do I have a good girl at hand?”. You nod hastily, you wanted him to take you in any way, but he just stood there, he wanted you to ask properly, and he was a patient man, not showing any indication of giving you anything. Getting frustrated you put his fingers away, maybe a bit harshly, “Please just fuck me, I need it so bad”. He let out a devilish chuckle, “There you go, love” 
This was going to be a fun night. 
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I wanted to write more and then was like mmmh maybe it's inappropriate to write a fanfic on a real person getting fucked, so I stopped there
Hope it was to your liking !
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oifaaa · 1 year
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https://static0.cbrimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/goodcomics/2007/03/07-11-2006%2003;49;16PM.JPG
Okay so scanned this with a is this url safe thing just to be safe and it was so that's fun and when you open it up it takes you to this image
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No context just this which I have several issues with considering the implications but I'm gonna go with the one I presume (hope) you were going for which is that marvel men are blond which friend I can list 6 blonde dc dudes too marvel ain't special
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Lahabrea possessed Thancred before this questline even started which means these are back to back Laha interactions. Here is how he greets the WoL in the Waking Sands immediately after his Disney villain introduction.
Meanwhile in Minfilia's solar:
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presumably he took a brief break from running Alphinaud's errands to go dramatically laugh at the WoL
#enjoying all this with Pandaemonium context#there is a lot to unpack here#OK LETS GO PANEL 1#based on the follow up he's really just testing out the person who killed ifrit - not too different from elidibus' test later.#he comes across as goofy but i gotta ask if he taunted panda critters the same way before experiments#moreever hydaelyn is busy going “Eeeeeevvvilllll!!!” in your ear while laha chatters#I assumed this was direct line to the WoL consciousness the first time#but based on 5.2 she might just be bullhorning to anyone with ancient powers which means lahabrea is listening to her shout “eeeevviilllll”#hilarious I hope that is what was happening#PANEL 2#not shown is laha opening with “oh hi <player name>”#like he sounds more like panda laha here than almost anywhere else nearly#in which of these two panels is he acting more I ask???#I'm thinking its an even split per emet-selchs reckoning of his lost personality#if he could hold out as long as he does hanging out there in the Waking Sands hall then#it becomes very easy to see emet-selch felt like he was getting enough sanity out of him at the time. hes surprisingly functional#in spite of that intro#PANEL 3#we were SO ROBBED to miss alphinaud investigating ascians with lahabrea. so robbed#alphinaud is still unsocialized at this point so extra annoying to laha for sure#thinking about how lahabrea acted around themis in the far past fills in a few blanks. can draw a couple of parallels perhaps#rotating that thought#ffxiv#ffxiv spoilers#Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn#lahabrea#alphinaud#minfilia
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lunapegasus · 9 months
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Nearly a year ago today I made this blog and posted my art online for the first time. So here's a redraw of it to celebrate :) Also sketch under the cut because it actually looks very different than the lineart but I really like it (+ the lineart for comparison)
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Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb
#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that#you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario#where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality#and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do#also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute#like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the#AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties#on people last minute lol#assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about#birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc.#ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted#AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj#I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people#I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews#or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made#surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra#m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj)#I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat#whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh#New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing#for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way#*** *** ***#< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol)#(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me)#BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you?#:0c
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poisned · 2 months
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Doodles I drew of my fanfic that'll never see the light of day, probably. I've been rotating this in my mind and spewing word vomit onto my document for too long now I had to do something to get it out.
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I love Lucifer to the moon and back, but holy hell do I want to see him STRUGGLE.
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Morningstar!Reader my beloved
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