#I rushed to draw more I know I wasn't able to draw these babies lately...

[shiro-fanarts]

[buzzzlove]

hiiii can i request a fic of idol!k to the song gold rush by taylor swift! liek maybe a secret romance or really whatever comes to mind when you listen! if u make an &team taglist pls lmk too!!! tysmmmm

hey @lovialy !! 🩷

sorry this is so late! i had this random idea and then got slightly carried away... i hope you enjoy this!

-

K

I Don't Tell You Enough

Dating K and not being able to tell anyone about it really sucked. You were friends with Nicholas first and he was the one that introduced you to K. You two hit it off instantly and haven't looked back since. But now, you two couldn't really give it away that you were dating. The boys all knew but you two swore them to secrecy. You were posing as only Nicholas' friend that sometimes came over to spend time with them all.

It used to be better. Initially, it felt kind of dangerous and exciting, keeping it to yourselves. You were sneaking glances with hidden touches and kisses around every corner. That was fun. But watching him get all close and personal with his dance partner right in front of you and not being able to do anything about it? Not so fun.

So here you were, sulking in the corner of the practice room, glad your mask was covering the frown on your face. Why was he smiling like that? You scoffed softly, not wanting to draw too much attention. You decided to look away thinking it will do more damage to continue watching. But, instantly, you made eye contact with Fuma. He knew immediately what was happening, almost like magic. He must have seen your eyes and the daggers you were sending K's way.

"Ignore them. Are you okay?" he mouthed to you.

You shook your head slightly, but before he could respond, their choreographer clapped to signal the start of the practice. Fuma turned to you sending an apologetic smile. You waved at him and sent a thumbs up to show him you're fine. So the practice begun and you kept finding your eyes drawn to your boyfriend, not wanting to miss anything he did. You caught his eyes in the mirror a few times, and he sent you a small smile each time. This carried on throughout.

When they finally finished, K strategically stayed behind, claiming he was searching for something in his bag as an excuse. The members picked up quickly and helped to usher the staff out of the practice room.

As the last person left, K walked over to you slowly, sensing something was off.

"It was nice having you here today," he said tentatively.

"It was. I always like watching you dance," you mumbled, pulling your mask down. You gave him a small smile.

K kept a slow pace as he walked to crouch in front of you. He rested his hands on your knees and scanned your face looking for clues on how you felt.

"There's something you're not telling me," he patted your knee twice.

You narrowed your eyes in response. Why did he have to know you so well.

"It's because I love you," he grinned, reading your mind quite literally.

"How did you know that's what I was thinking?" you giggled, not being able to help yourself.

"I told you. It's because I love you so much," he said lightly while leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek, "Now, c'mon, tell me."

You were quiet for a few seconds as K let you gather your thoughts.

"I don't really know. It was weird seeing you like that with someone else. She was way too close to you," you frowned and looked down at his hands. "It wasn't nice not being able to do anything about it I guess."

Now, you know who your boyfriend is. You knew before you started dating how popular he was. Everyone liked him and everyone wanted to be with him. You understood it, I mean look at him. But you never expected it to make you feel like this.

K sighed silently, not wanting to upset you further. His gaze softened, suddenly filled with a wave of deep love for you. He just wanted to make you happy.

"Baby, look at me," he tried first, ducking his head to try and meet your eyes. When you didn’t respond at first, your boyfriend tried again.

"Y/N, I don't think I tell you enough, but I love you. So much."

You decided to give in to his soft voice and looked up slightly to meet his gaze. K took this opportunity and hooked his finger under your chin, tilting your head up completely. You had a slight pout on your lips as you stared into his eyes.

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way today," he mumbled. His eyes scanned your face as his other hand brushed your hair back from your face. "I'm sorry we can't tell anyone about us."

"You don't need to apologise. I knew what I was getting myself into," you gave him a small smile to show you were joking.

He chuckled lowly and placed both hands on your cheeks. Anyone with eyes could see how much he loved you. His eyes held all the emotions in them. K loved you with every part of his being.

"I love you. And only you," his tone was a bit more serious this time. "I promise you, the moment I can, I will tell the world about us. I want everyone to know who stole my heart."

You could feel the tears prick at your eyes. Not wanting to cry in front of him, you pulled him closer and hid your head in his neck.

"I love you too," your muffled reply came.

K just smiled and pulled you even closer. He couldn't wait to tell everyone about you.

[comicaurora]

How old were you when you decided to start taking Aurora seriously? ("taking seriously" as in, deciding to start making it a comic, and putting work into making it come to life rather than it just be a dream project or a fun thought)

File dates indicate I first started drawing proper test pages for the comic at the very beginning of 2018 (a random snippet of a very early draft of Dainix's intro arc, just to get a feel for the comic tools in CSP) although I remember I had drawn up some short experimental intro comics probably as early as 2016, and I had full digital illustrations of some of the characters in my college application portfolio around 2013-2014, although I don't think any of those made it onto my current computer.

I started on the proper comic, like the actual illustrated pages that made it onto the site, in march of 2019, but it seems like I created those files as early as october of 2017, so it's possible I was playing with the sketch of the first chapter pretty dang early.

It's a little tricky to answer this question, because the very first form this story took was comics I drew in my old sketchbooks, so there was never a time when I didn't want to make it exist in some comic-shaped form. Initially I just wanted to make a story for me to read, because I was very bored and hungry for fantasy that wasn't boring, depressing or both. But somewhere along the line it occurred to me that I could make something other people would want to read too. I don't know exactly when I made that switch - I suspect it was fairly early in the process, because due to who I am as a person I have a very strong urge to share what I make. For me, just making the thing wasn't enough - I got so much more energy from showing it to people and discussing it with them than just drawing it for myself. I got zero interest or positive feedback from my peers in middle school and quickly resolved not to share anything until I was certain it was good, which in hindsight was a maladaptive attempt to avoid being bullied by people who, shockingly, didn't actually determine their bullying schedule off any internal logic I could work around. But it did motivate me to practice a lot and branch out artistically in directions that had previously not interested me. Having a distant but attainable end goal was exactly the kind of carrot on a stick I needed to lure my baby ADHD brain into actually sticking with something for a change.

At this stage I'd say it was firmly "I want to do this someday." Not because it wasn't practical or realistic, but because I wasn't ready. That's how it was through most of high school, though after I got my first drawing tablet and began exploring digital art around 2012-2013, things went from "it'd be cool someday" to "I have the tools I need to do this as soon as I'm ready." After that I started playing with drawing programs, acclimating to the weird experience of using a drawing tablet instead of pencil on paper, and even toying with a little simple cel animation with the built-in bare-bones app that came with my tablet.

The idea of drawing the illustrations for the videos I was starting to do came from the same impulse - I wanted to get better at digital art, and needed to in order to make the comic a viable possibility. Again, it let me trick my brain into focusing on getting really good at something, which was a practice I'd never been able to sustain for long without a concrete end goal in mind. Sticking with something for its own sake didn't work - I needed that delicious dopamine feedback to keep me going, and the constant rush of "I'm getting better at this and that's getting me closer to this thing I really really want" apparently did the trick.

But I actually think this is around where I started faltering - late high school and very early college, so like 2012-2014. Aurora was the first big writing project I'd ever really loved, and I knew from experience that first writing projects were usually bad. They were valuable for skill-building and refinement, but were they actually worth showing to anyone? Plus my notes/timeline file had gotten really massive and unwieldy at this point, and playing with the cast and story was turning into a chore of continuity rather than a fun exercise. It was getting bloated - rather than making the story go anywhere I was just adding little bits onto it every time they occurred to me. Every cool idea I was having had to be mashed into this one world I was playing with, and I worried it was getting out of hand. So I dropped it for over a year and spent my time playing with an urban fantasy ghost story concept instead. That got far enough in development that I still have a saved color swatch for it.

I played with it and built it out and felt more serious and cool with this Edgy Dark Adventure with a psychopomp vs an immortal witch vampire and a wild cast of colorful supporting weirdos, and then I realized I was really bored. Once again I'd built a cast of characters without a plot to actually use them, only this time they weren't even characters I particularly liked.

So I tentatively went back to Aurora. I think this can't have been much before 2014, but I'm not certain on that. And with the benefit of a year's time on the backburner, I'd boiled it down to the core elements I really liked and rendered out all the filler and padding I'd stuffed it full of back when I was just using it to store every cool idea and character I had. I was relieved to know that this story and cast of characters I liked so much was turning out to be actually worth exploring, and I went a lot harder on the worldbuilding and establishing an actual set of arcs and plots to keep the characters engaged and occupied by an interesting diversity of setpieces, side characters and events.

By early college (2014-2015) I think I was back in the swing of things, determined to actually make the comic happen (once I was ready and good enough, natch) and enthused about rewriting the basic arcs and beats from scratch rather than touching that bloated timeline file I'd abandoned a year earlier. By junior year (2017) I have a distinct memory of doodling out the first designs for Tynan in my Greek Thought And Lit course, which is a pretty good indicator that I was getting committed to the granular parts of the story.

It wasn't until after I graduated in 2018 that I really started thinking about, you know. actually doing it. not someday, now. I was free from school and mentally decompressing from a decade and a half of nonstop stress and pressure, the channel had hit its first major jump and was actually making us a proper living so I didn't need to pivot to a job hunt like I'd feared, and if I didn't bite the bullet and start immediately I would probably just keep procrastinating it out of a mounting sense of guilt and insecurity until I couldn't bear to look at it again. Sure, I could still get better, but at that point I'd done enough headfirst dives into the unknown to conclude that it is literally impossible to fully prepare for something before you experience it for the first time. If I kept waiting until I felt ready, I would never start. So that's around when I started looking into building the site, drawing up the first three chapters and going from there. Sometimes you gotta say "fuck it", push yourself off the diving board and hope you figure something out before you hit the water.

[saturnsstufff]

If your requests are open, could you maybe do a C!Techno x Reader? Like, the Butcher Army is there for Techno and Phil wasn't able to give him a\such an early head's up so he's not really prepared, and Quackity has the reader hostage when they show, cause maybe they were outside doing something... You don't have to, of course! -Sugar Anon (may I claim this Anon?)

Ooh! Most definitely! And of course you can claim it your my first anon!🖤

Warnings: Blood, swearing

Techno was a pretty well known man, lets face it. Maybe not in the way you hoped, and in this instance you mean he was wanted.

But you were not awhere of that because you lived with him out in the chilly Tundra. Phil would usally bring you two the new updates and anything you should be aware of. So when he didnt show for his morning tea you were a but skeptical to say the least. But techno had casually shrugged his shoulders, waving it off that he had gotten busy. This was true. Phil was a awfully busy man, he never seemed to stop moving, building, or exploring. So you joined techno on his assumption.

Techno was casually brewing potions that afternoon. Not a uncommon occurance to say the least. You had grown accustomed to seeing the towering man working over his bottles. His large but gentle hands gracefully, and carefully manuvering the glasses to where he pleased.

"Techno love? Im going to go trade these books nearby ok?" You mentioned as you took your cloak. Slipping it on so you could contain your warm. Techno hummed in agreement. Since you were so far from L'amanburg he didn't really mind you walking freely to the nearby village. He actually viewed your common trips as a large help.

"I have seven emeralds in that chest over there, could you see if any of them are willing to trade for a mending book?" He asked well he looked up to you. His reading glasses resting on his nose. You smiled brightly and nodded.

"Of course!" Anything you could do to help you were down to do. L'amanburg wasn't aware Techno had a lover, mostly because Techno didn't want you getting pulled into his rather volient affairs. He viewed them as his battles. Not battles that you had to fight.

Well collecting the gems into your basket he spoke up again, his hand coming to the small of your back. "Take Carl ok? I can't have my princess walking like the peasants do" he said bemused. Pressing a gentle but loving kiss to your forhead.

You leaned into him, enjoying the physical affection he gave you. Techno wasn't one to voice his love Rather, instead he would gift you, or make physical actions twords showing you how much he cared.

You walked out and hopped onto Carl the sturdy, and loyal steed waiting for the new adventure he would be taking. Edging your heels into him you began to head for the forest.

After a while of riding through the woods you began to grow weary. You felt like you were being watched. You were not a Hybrid like Techno so you couldnt smell or hear any abnormalities. But you just knew somthing was off. It was a harsh mental debate on whether to turn around or continue. Ultimately you decided it was best to just turn around. For how on edge you were you figured that telling Techno, and him laughing at you was better than lingering outside anymore.

You pulled the reigins, signaling for Carl to turn, however when you did, someone had jumped onto Carl behind you. Grabbing you tightly to prevent your flailing. You couldnt help the blood curdling scream you let out before your mouth was covered by a hand. You were panicking. You couldnt see your attacker but very well felt them behind you.

"Im gonna make you a deal. Your going to take us back to that nice cottage of yours, or I'll paint your blood all over the snow" the voice sneered next to your ear. "Im going to remove my hand. If you so as utter a word I wont hesatate to get rid of you. Am I clear?" The voice was slow, but threatening. They meant what they said. You could only nod slowly as he removed his hand from your mouth. "In case you get a wild burst of courage... I'll just leave this here" he had taken his sword out. Lingering it by your neck. You didn't know what else to do, so you just took the reigins and slwoly started back home.

When you got to Technoblade's Cottage you were forced off of Carl, the snow did little in softening your fall. You looked up praying thag techno herd some commotion.

"Technoblade get your ass out here!" The man Yelled, you looked up to him. He had black hair poking out from his beanie. Underneath his armor was a bloody a apron. All, in all, not someone you wanted to be around.

When the door opened you called out for Techno. Trying to make a run for him. But instead you were only grabbed by your ankle and dragged back to the raven haired man. The sword he held finding it's way to your neck.

"Let her go Quackity." Techno's eyes were narrowed and calculated. He wasn't pleased by any means for how Quackity was manhandling you.

"You think I'm going to listen to you? Your fucking delusional. Heres whats going to happen Techno. Your going to come with us. Or I'll kill her and give your front lawn a nice new red decoration." You whimpered. All you wanted was Techno. You wanted to be in his arms, you didn't like how This 'Quackity' man was talking or handling you.

"Your going to let her go first." Techno stepped closer. His hand drawing his blade. You could see Techno's breathing. He was angry, and so were the voices.

"I wouldn't step any closer." The blade pressed in more. Your hand coming up to try and push the blade away. "Your going to drop your blade and walk up to fundy to get handcuffed. Then I'll let her go." You watched as Techno weighed his options. In the end he did drop his blade. He valued your life above everything. Once his hands were tied securely, you were let free. The first thing you did was run to techno. Hugging onto him for dear life.

"(Y/n) listen to me. Your going to go into the house and wait for Philza. Ok?" You looked up at him with pain in your eyes, shaking your head.

"No! Im not letting you go alone!" You started to tear. You didnt know where they were taking him. But you knew it wasn't good.

"(Y/n) I said go in the house. I will be fine.." He manuvered his head to wrap around yours since his arms couldn't. "I don't want you involved ok?..." his tone was gentle, trying to ease your haywire nerves.

"Techno please let me come.." Your eyes begged, but he didnt budge. Quackity only took and shoved Techno further.

"Wait in the House!" Was the final thing he said as he was forced over the Hill.

Waiting for his return had you beyond restless. You could only look from the clock back to the fire. The raging 'What if's running through your brain. It was extremely late before techno had returned back home.

When he opened the door you rushed over to him. Almost tripping over your own feet. To feel him in your arms was the one thing you needed to calm your nerves. You gripped onto him for dear life. His arms gently wrapped around you. Rubbing a ligjt circle into your back.

"Thank god your home" you said. Your face buried into his chest. The lingering sent of dynamite and the iron smell of blood on his clothes. "I was so worried about you..." you felt his hand move to the underside of your thighs. Lifting you up into his arms so he could move inside.

"Come now princess... You didnt really think I would let anything happen to myself, now would you?" He mused. His eyes soft as he looked up into yours.

"I.. I mean" You looked down at him, the bit of worry still remaining. He sat down on his sofa. Leaning back into it as he looked up at you.

"Baby girl, you know Technoblade never dies" He said cocking a eyebrow up as his face went smug. You only smiled a little at that. Moving to rest your head in his neck.

"I still worried..." you said gently. Relaxing into his chest. Glad to see him home safely.

"I know princess... I know" He knew he would have to tell you about the execution. But for now he knew you were distraught. He may have been poor at comforting, but he knew right now the best thing was for you to just lay in his arms at peace. Let you try and forget what Quackity had probably etched into your memory for months to come. Because Quackity was only the start now. Now everyone knew, Techno had someone he truly loved.

[idga-buck]

Some and Others, 1/?

Bucky wasn’t looking for a relationship, he was looking for a good night’s sleep, but when he found you he got more than he bargained for.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 5,758

Content: swearing, soft smut (18+ only), Bucky being clueless, IW and EG just didn’t happen? idk, everyone’s alive and living in the compound #classic, also me fitting in a bunch of information that probably wasn’t necessary for the first chapter but what’s a story without a sturdy foundation?

After a mission, Bucky is some kind of way. Steve is too careful with him, but he doesn’t exactly blame the captain. Plus as an uncommissioned officer, 70 years without promotion, who is he to disagree. Maybe he isn’t ready for a life of avenging. Certainly isn’t ready for the questions that will follow another sleepless night, so Bucky didn’t stay in. He went out.

His memory wasn’t what it used to be, but Bucky recognized your street the second he’d stepped onto it. He’d parked his bike in the grassy alley on his right, gotten coffee at the Caribbean supermarket across the street when he finally left that afternoon. Technology wasn’t his strong suit, despite his depth of interest in it. There was etiquette and a way to do things that were as nuanced as they were mysterious. Bucky often wondered if people just lived by their own set of rules, leaving everyone else in the dark and only interacting with the persistent few who engaged correctly. He didn’t have the patience for that sort of thing. Shuri reminded him of that more than he cared for, but in terms of debts owed, he could smile through her jokes for a lifetime after the second chance she’d given him.

Bucky Barnes was a ladies man… at some point in his life, but more accurately, his life had been colored with women stronger than him since the day he was born. His mother was the first to hold him, followed shortly after by the older sister who tried to sell him to the milkman. Luckily Mr. Spenser wasn't in the market for a throw away babe and Bucky got to grow up in a house dominated by women. His sister, his mother, his grandmother with the accent that was just gibberish outside of their living room, the two more sisters that were welcomed in after him, though he’d never dream of bartering them away for bubble gum. They were all loud, but kind and could always bring a smile to his face. Even still. Rebecca, the most distant in age, but the closest in spirit, was still living. His baby sister was all grown up to the point of growing back down, shrinking in on herself the way old women do. Bucky made regular trips to the Alzheimer’s care center, sitting with her and loving her as only a brother could. Though her recollection of recent history was gone, Rebecca Barnes could still pinpoint the exact moment that all her girlfriends fell in love with her brother, which made Bucky shake his head and laugh. Her CNAs were worried for her mind when Rebecca introduced them to her big brother, looking closer to a man in his 30s than a man from the 30s, but he assured them that she was correct. He hadn’t changed a bit, she told him with two wrinkled hands on his cheeks. In appearance, not as much as he should have, but in all the other ways people usually mean, Bucky couldn’t feel more disconnected from the man he was when Rebecca was all bright eyes and secret kisses under the corner store awning. Bucky had no problem leveling those boys with a stare back then, but now most of them wouldn’t think twice before using their canes as a switch across his shins just for cocking an eyebrow in their direction. Talking to his mother wasn’t possible anymore and his sister wasn’t in a state to give out girl advice. Shuri was on another continent. Natasha… was Natasha and he would never ask for her help with something like this. Wanda was usually awake late at night when he was, but she was still so young.

Bucky looked up from the street, noting your second floor windows were dimly lit. Golden squares stood out against the bricks, blackened by the late hour, and through the gauzy curtains he spotted movement. Without his mother to advise against it or Shuri to give him something better to do, Bucky reached for his phone and scrolled through the recent calls. You’d called yourself before he left, but thinking that he wouldn’t see you again, Bucky hadn’t actually saved the number. Something of a bad habit, he noted, scrolling through lines and lines of unrecognized and unsaved phone numbers, hoping he’d just know it when he saw it. He didn’t.

Until one appeared on its own, presenting him a choice. Answer or reject. A simple question with unknown consequences. Rejecting the call seemed safer, so Bucky pressed the red circle and resumed his search.

“Weren’t you a spy or something?” Your voice drew Bucky’s eyes up from his phone screen to the now open window above his head. You were leaning out a bit, the posture helping your voice to carry over the surprisingly still busy street.

“Somethin’,” he grinned, pocketing the useless device. Both hands secured in his jacket, Bucky tipped back on his heels to get a better look at you. “Gonna invite me up?”

You shrugged and planted your palms against the window sill to lift yourself up. Even from that angle, Bucky was transfixed by your cleavage. Subtle under the tank top you wore, but he remembered it fondly. As if you could hear his thoughts, your arms snapped closed over your chest, bringing the colorful wings of a kimono with them, shielding yourself with floral patterns and defensive body language that made him take a step backwards. “You didn’t call…” you said and though accurate, your accusation made Bucky regret what he was about to do. After waking from the best night’s sleep of his life, he said he’d call you. No amount of self love could bring that much refreshment into his life and the feeling of waking up after a deep and dreamless sleep was enticing enough. The sex was good for a one off sort of thing, Bucky would even say great, but the sleep that came after… he hadn’t been able to replicate it yet. The lure of a good night's sleep and the softness of your body against all of his rough edges were too strong to stop him now. He was committed to this indiscretion, but before he could defend himself, you’d moved on, already smiling again. “And you just ignored my call.”

Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed and lifted in quick succession before he pulled the phone from his pocket again. Saved. And for good measure, he pulled it up to his ear again. You frowned, turning away from the window, presumably to look for your phone. The glass slid shut behind you and Bucky bounced on the balls of his feet while he waited for the metallic purr in his ear to be replaced by something even better.

“What are you doing?” You said over the line.

“Hey, it’s Bucky-“ he heard you stifle your own laughter with a choked ‘oh my god’ in the background. “Remember me?” You hummed and Bucky waited with his eyes on your window. When you didn’t return, he kept talking. “I know it’s late, but I was just in the neighborhood-“ another quiet giggle made him smile as he spoke. “You up?”

“Is this Bucky Barnes’ first booty call?” You asked.

“I guess it is…” he said, half his mouth curving up even though you couldn’t see it. “How’m I doin’ so far?” There was a pause and Bucky started moving toward your door on instinct. It was illogical to think something had happened in those few seconds, but after the day he’d had Bucky didn’t feel confident ruling it out. “Making me nervous out here, doll.”

“You’re doing just fine,” you assured him and Bucky leaned back against the door in relief. “I was about to go to bed… but since you came all this way-“ the end of your sentence was cut off by the loud buzzing in his ear as the lock on the door disengaged from above. Bucky stepped into the first hall, street lamp making the small row of Golden mailbox fronts glitter, and leisurely took the first few steps up. “Better hurry,” you sighed and Bucky stopped, foot hovering over the next step. “Door’s unlocked and I’m already naked.” Bucky was in your apartment and snapping all three locks into their closed position before you’d had the chance to hang up from his impromptu phone call.

You fucked him slowly that night. The rush he felt taking your stairs two at a time dissipated once he was in your bedroom. It wasn’t as frantic or fumbling as it had been the first time and Bucky was happy for the change. When he’d followed you home from the bar, it seemed that both of you had an understanding. One night only, so make it count. It was hard and fast, but so so good. Even the next morning’s repeat and the finale in your shower before he finally pulled away sated had been more like back to back sprints than whatever this gentle marathon was. As if you could feel the stress that Bucky needed to let go of, you moved carefully around him. Totally bare in the bluish glow of the bathroom plug in that lit the scene before him, you took your time undressing Bucky and placing his hands back at his sides whenever he tried to help move things along. When you dropped to your knees, leaving him open and vulnerable standing naked in the middle of your bedroom, he made a sort of wounded noise that made him want to bolt, but didn’t seem to bother you. If anything it spurred you on, drawing more whispers from his rosebud lips until he couldn’t take it anymore. For the first time in his life, Bucky begged for more attention. Not the teasing he did on street corners- come on, baby, you’re breaking my heart here- when a dame tried extra hard to resist his charm. This was real pleading as if he thought he’d die frozen in place without your heat to revive him.

He’d made the right choice. Bucky decided while lying across your bed, one hand twisted up in your pillow case while the other was splayed across your bare thigh, that he’d done the right thing coming to you for this. He could have gone back to that bar or a different one and gone home with another girl just like he had with you, but then he’d be missing the view from under you. Having a new girl everytime Bucky found himself feeling restless sounded exhausting. He’d also determined that his mother would be incredibly disappointed in him if he had rows and rows of unsaved phone numbers from girls that didn’t know they were being used. Finally and maybe most importantly in that moment, Bucky didn’t want to start over with someone brand new. He liked your crumpled linen sheets, liked the smell of ink from the printing studio beneath your apartment. While you rode him to mutual satisfaction, he liked the way your hips rolled sensually over his, liked the slick grind and the dull bite of your nails against his stomach. He liked that after your first, when he asked you to slow down again and extended his hands to you, you took each of them without hesitation. Supporting your weight on outstretched arms, Bucky got to enjoy your hands in his while you gasped out a second. If it had been your first time sleeping together, you’d probably be too prideful or embarrassed to admit that you were tired. He wouldn’t have gotten to hear that whine when you asked if he was close and he replied -smugly- not at all. If it had been your first time together, he’d probably be too prideful or embarrassed to ask you how you wanted him. He wouldn’t know how sweet it felt to have your back pressed up against his chest and he wouldn’t have known to turn you onto your side so he could slip in from behind you. Bucky was so comfortable in your bed with your knee hitched up over his hip, body totally open to his roaming hands. He made the right choice coming back to you and as he finished with a grunt, both arms wrapped around you tight while your arm was bent over his head, gripping his hair with the perfect amount of tension, he’d already decided to make it again.

The next morning, Bucky was refreshed, feeling like a brand new man. That was the feeling he’d been chasing last night or rather very early that morning, but the tightening in his lower body followed by ultimate release was a fine way to get there. Just like last time, he’d woken up alone only to find you in the bathroom, washing sleep from your eyes and fixing your face. His enhanced hearing meant he could listen to the tap running and the echoing “puh” of you spitting into the sink without having to open his eyes. Comfortable and naked against your pillows letting the familiar sounds tell the story of your morning routine. He didn’t mind waiting as long as you crawled back in beside him like last time. Bucky only peeked twice before he heard the zipper of your makeup bag close and the magnet on your medicine cabinet snap shut behind the mirror. You were back with him in a moment and he turned toward your scent, aloe fresh deodorant and sharp minty breath beckoned him closer and he hummed against your lips. If he cared to move, he’d swallow down the remainder of your mouthwash then swap cool kisses until his tongue tingled against yours, but he was so comfortable. Even more so once you’d laid across his chest, bumping your nose and chin against his until he opened his eyes. Bucky dropped his arms heavily across your back, keeping you planted against him, though you hadn’t struggled or made any moves to leave him. He couldn’t have that with someone new. If he swapped your number for someone else’s, he’d have to flirt and wade through the post sex awkwardness again. He’d have to go out more and hope his charm would work on another. He’d have to perform for them the way he had for you the first two times. The third, in your shower, was messy and wet and fun despite the soap in his eyes, which you wiped away for him while his hands were occupied by holding you up. He wouldn’t have that with someone new until he made it happen and frankly he didn’t want to make it happen. Not yet. Not when you were still cute and still into him and still happy to hear from him even at 2 in the morning when he looked like a creep under your window. Why trade all that just to say he could have another then another? Sex was good. That morning stuff was good too. If it was the orgasm that made him feel alive again, then the warmth of your bed and your lips drifting lazily down his chest was what made life worth living. One gal was enough for him. You were enough.

Bucky hadn’t even noticed that he was drifting off again until you spoke. He didn’t hear you, but he sure it didn’t matter and responded with some ta sentiment of his own. “Thanks. For this.”

“Thank you,” you corrected and he smirked at that, eyes still blissfully closed. “Hey, uh— Bucky…” You sounded nervous and he had to force his eyes open at the sound of your voice shaking around his name. You must have noticed his sudden concern and placed a hand soothingly over his chest. “I just…” you bit your lip and Bucky watched the wheels churn behind downturned eyes. It was sweet, the way you could flip from bold and sexy to this. An errant curl fell out of its place and he felt the desire to pull that twisty rebel between two fingers before moving it back to follow the part you’d intended all the up to his second knuckle. Your hair was the kind he wanted to touch over and over. Not because it was your hair per se, but rather because it didn't have that acrid home perm smell or a hundred little pins holding it in place like his sisters and the other girls he ran around with. They spent hours on their waves and rolls, but you flipped a fist full to one side, fluffing it with your fingers when you wanted his attention and damn if it didn’t work everytime. Before he knew it, a vibranium finger against your temple, following the curve of your ear. Your stunned look made Bucky chuckle. He even patted your cheek in encouragement. After a beat, you were gathered again. Another breath and you spoke. “I just wanted to say, I don’t really do this sort of thing.” His eyebrow shot up at that and you scrambled to correct yourself. “Not this,” you half laughed then gestured to his naked body and yours, hardly clothed. “The bringing strangers home from bars thing. I definitely wasn’t expecting to see you again- not that I didn’t love it- I just didn’t want you to think-“

“I think you’re amazing,” he said quickly to assure you he didn’t think anything else. He wouldn’t either. Couldn’t even imagine anything else after making an ass of himself at your first meeting. He’s felt so out of place and vulnerable and ridiculous trying to take you home the night you’d met, but you hadn’t made him feel wrong or silly for it. For that alone he was grateful. For the sex that followed, even more so. You’d met him with just enough teasing to keep him engaged, but not so much that he felt like he was an unwanted addition to your night and whenever his eyes drifted away like he wanted to run and forget the whole stupid idea, you gently guided him back, eyes and words making it clear that you wanted him too. It was a mutual feeling of desire, as simple as it was complicated. Bucky wanted to keep it simple though, if for no other reason than to keep seeing your awkward smile duck into his neck at the eagerness in his voice. He touched your face again and repeated himself. “I don’t think anything… just that I’m glad I met you… and I’d like to keep seeing you.”

You smiled at him and whatever silliness he felt in his confession evaporated. It was the right thing to say. You sighed and leaned in again like you were going to kiss him, before stopping short and looking up at him through your lashes. “I don’t think I can say no to you.”

“Then don’t,” he said, but it felt like begging again as he hoisted you higher up on his chest to kiss you again. The conversation was over and if you weren’t going to say no to him, then he wanted to start his morning with as many breathy yeses as he could get.

Random serendipitous encounters became less random and serendipitous with every passing week. Bucky was feeling lighter, yet somehow more whole. Boy, did he need that. A woman’s lovin’ will do that for you. He vaguely recalls one soldier or another making similar remarks while he was in Italy. Bucky’s blue eyes belonged to the nurses back then, as his own innocence slowly died with each body dropped by his own marksmanship. This new world, new century he now had to navigate was so different. His enemies weren’t always flesh and blood, even the ones that did bleed bled out in black and blue not Nazi red. Aliens, other worldsmen, some very human psychos with eerily familiar ideologies about who was of value and who was not. Bucky fought next to his friend, spilling blood of all colors when necessary, bearing the stains that Captain America couldn’t as a paragon of justice and honor. Then when the ringing in his ears got too loud, he sought you out. Over and over again. He never showed up unannounced and you always answered his call, even when you shouldn’t. You truly didn’t know how to say no to him and he truly didn’t want you to.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Bucky knew it wasn’t love, but he didn’t care. It felt good and it felt right and against his better judgment it helped him sleep at night, knowing you were only a half turn away, hugging your pillow, but content to wrap your arms around him instead as long as he asked. And he asked. When he wasn’t in your bed, it helped him stay sane, knowing that someone in the world was waiting on him, caring from a distance, maybe praying for his return. In the Big War, his mother prayed for him. His sisters too. In these mini wars, fought stealthily around the globe, he had you.

Rebecca was still blessedly alive, but his baby sister only remembered him when she saw his face. He would bet that you remembered him even as he schlepped through the mountains of Siberia for the last time. Always Siberia. Evil men must be allergic to sunlight. Sam had jokingly asked him why he always went back and Bucky had jokingly thrown the Falcon’s coffee away, leaving Sam’s hand empty and his mouth full of indignant teeth sucking. That briefing was blessedly brief and Sam didn’t need the rest of his coffee anyways. The flight via jet was longer, but not as horrible as it could have been. Steve’s sympathetic glances were unbearable. It’s the last time, Buck. Yeah, OK. The mission was a success, if you could call it a mission. Sam spun magnificently through the mouth of a cave while Bucky fired back into it, detonating the whole mountainside and leaving this particular Cold War remnant under an avalanche of snow and well kept secrets, never to be reborn. Steve dealt with the press. He had the face for it. Reputation too. Sam soaked up the due praise that came along with it, the next Captain America with his wings and his wit to carry avenging into the 21st century. Bucky, however, peeled off his heavily armed get up and peeled out of the compound without any formal announcement.

When Bucky left for long periods, most assumed he was doing what Steve Rogers would do. Ride around in his bike, traipse through the old neighborhood noting how much it changed. Captain America was the old man, the icon. He had the luxury of wandering. Bucky hadn’t gone anywhere without a mission in mind since the 40’s. He was a soldier, a weapon and while his mind could no longer be weaponized against him, Bucky was still the guy taking care of things that just wouldn’t wash out of Captain America’s shiny cowl. So when he left the compound, no one asked questions. At least not directly to him, something he was thankful for on the hour or so ride to your place. The Bronx apartment was considerably closer than a nostalgic walk through Brooklyn and he got a lot more out of it. He had no mission in Brooklyn, but you were waiting for him and that was enough.

This particular mission was no different. Steve asked him to stay on site and he declined politely as he could without actually stopping to talk to his friend. Natasha called out his hurried steps and followed him halfway to the garage before giving up at his request. It was glaringly obvious to Bucky how they got along so well. Steve and Natasha were quite the pair. Tenacious friends, like the kind of friends that never give up and definitely won’t let you give up on yourself. He saw it in her fierce allegiance and protectiveness over Clint. Now that Steve was huge and well connected in the Avenging community, Bucky supposed that made him the Barton to Steve’s Romanoff. They were insufferable do gooders too. Sure, Natasha had her fair share of red in her ledger, but once she was with the good guys, she was the best of them. Neither one would hesitate to throw themselves on a grenade or over a cliff if it meant someone else’s chance to live. They were do it or die trying people. Sam was… Sam was Sam. And when he spotted Bucky making a beeline to the exit, he just waved and shouted “have a good ride.” The wink was uncalled for and made Bucky question how much Sam really knew. He was a deadly intuitive little shit and despite Bucky’s best attempts not to even think it… one of the best people he’d ever known. Not that he felt the need to tell Sam that. He probably already knew it. Blessedly, Bucky ran into no other superheroes on his way through the compound. The garage, more like a hangar, was empty. Only the most expensive toys in Tony Stark’s arsenal and a high tech key coded workshop that Bucky felt so out of place in he kept a small tool box of his own so he wouldn’t have to wander through it. God forbid he go digging for a socket wrench and laser one of his fingers off. Anything was possible on Stark property.

Bucky zipped across the Hudson and sped toward the zoo, stopping at the deli on the corner and looking up two floors at the flat corner window. You weren’t waiting for him like usual. He’d pulled off the road once he got away from the compound and called you like he always did, giving you plenty of advance warning. It would be more gentlemanly to ask your permission before leaving home, but you hadn’t turned him down yet and if you ever did, he figured he’d keep driving anyways just to be away from everyone else for a while. Most times, when Bucky rounded the corner, slipping his bike into the space between your building and the overgrown lot next door, you found your way to that window, waving him up and putting a little something extra in his steps. You weren’t there, but you knew he was coming, so he made his way to the building’s entrance. A call, a buzz, a knock and Bucky was in your space again, taking a deep breath and inhaling the sweetness from your kitchen.

Your back was turned to him, having opened the door for him before rushing back to your place at the counter without a formal greeting, and Bucky watched curiously as you dropped little chocolate chip cookies onto a paper plate. You waved your fingers around after using your bare hands to pull them off the parchment paper and sucked your thumb between your lips to rid it of a rogue chocolate dripping. Bucky eyed the plate presented to him then looked up into your eyes.

“I googled you,” you said proudly. Bucky nodded and said okay, like he knew what that meant. It sounded sexual, but he hadn’t seen you in a week and frankly, he was more interested in googling than cookies. “It’s your birthday, Bucky! Why didn’t you say anything?” You looked delightfully scandalized and held out two cookies for him, which he accepted with a half smile. They were warm and started to fall apart between his fingers, so he shoved both into his mouth before making a gooey mess of himself. While his mouth was full, you cleaned up your tiny kitchen and dropped the plate onto the coffee table in the living area, talking about how embarrassing it was that you hadn’t thought to look him up sooner, but how lucky you felt that you’d thought about it after he called. You wished you’d had time to make a cake, but wanted to be home when he arrived, so freezer cookies were the best you could do after work.

You weren’t dating. Not really. That was why Bucky hadn’t mentioned it. Steve and Natasha wanted to make a big stink out of it, but he wanted no part of that. He just wanted to see you and get some of that good sleep he only got in your apartment after wearing you out two or three times. Sitting on the couch next to you, he took another cookie from the plate. They were better than they looked and he planned to clear the whole dang thing before taking you to bed. Maybe he’d save a few for the refractory period. You’d need sustenance too. So Bucky took his fourth cookie, which made you smile even wider and pledge to leave the rest for later.

The truth was, Bucky hadn’t celebrated a birthday in decades. The last one he could remember being awake for was in the seventies. He waited outside the governor's mansion in Bermuda for hours, watching a dinner party eventually lull and disperse. The Winter Soldier had no clue of the cruel irony watching another man’s party on one’s birthday, the asset’s only focus was quickly killing the governor and his companion once they stepped out of the house for a walk. He’d spared the dog though, a massive and beautiful beast without a single aggressive bone in its body who loped away from the scene whining. You hated that story when Bucky confessed it. He hadn’t felt the need to go into much detail regarding his time as the fist of Hydra. At first because he didn’t care for you to know. It was a fling. Fun. What pieces he did remember from those days were anything but fun. After determining that he liked you, really liked you, Bucky kept his trap shut for fear of scaring you. You knew who he was in theory, but as long as he wasn’t relaying his bloodiest days to you like he was now, maybe you wouldn’t look at him like the monster he didn’t want to be anymore. To his surprise, you hated that he sat in a tree watching people eat and drink and laugh the night away on his birthday, regardless of whether he knew it at the time. However, you zeroed in on his attempts to spare the dog, filling in the blanks that somewhere deep within the Asset, he had maintained some of his humanity. Some of his Buckyness.

“I don’t know if that helps… or if it makes everything worse…” you said, hesitating to go on, but he caught your meaning. Was it better to think that Hydra succeed in wiping him clean, using only his body and latent memories, discarding his mind all together? Or was it somehow hopeful, to think that in all their trying to eliminate Bucky Barnes in order to free their Asset, some piece of him had remained intact? Bucky wasn’t sure he could stomach the idea that any part of him had been present during grizzly assassinations, nor could he ever fully shake the idea that he wasn’t. Either way, these conversations weren’t what he came to you for.

While you were still looking shy, wondering if you should have stopped him from telling his story, Bucky kissed you. It was sweet, not just from the chocolate on his breath. “Thank you,” he said softly, thumbing a brown smudge at the corner of your mouth. “For the cookies. For listening.” His eyes passed over each of yours in turn. “Thanks for being here.”

“Of course,” you smiled. It wasn’t as obvious as you made it sound, but he liked that you felt it was. “I could be around more, you know.” Bucky didn’t know what you meant, but that became clear in a matter of moments. You sucked in your lips and started again. “I know we haven’t talked about...uh, well, what this is, but you’ve been coming over for a while now and I guess…”

“You guess?” Bucky prompted you to continue, when you trailed off.

“I didn’t expect you to still be calling me, so I guess I’m asking,” you said. “Asking what we are now?”

“Oh.” Bucky hadn’t meant to say it like that, but it came out like that and your eyes widened immediately. He scrambled, grabbing your hands quickly and holding them both in a firm pile against your thigh. “Oh, meaning, I didn’t think that’s what we were doing here, so this is unexpected.”

“Oh,” you respond and Bucky imagines you meant it exactly how it sounded. Disappointed and the single syllable precursor to his being disinvited from your apartment. And your bed. And your everything.

“But, I like the idea,” he supplies quickly, but he can see your look is hesitantly hopeful. “Of more, I mean. Seeing where… ya know.”

“Yeah,” you smile and Bucky breathed out his relief. “So we’re together…?”

“As together as we can be,” he said, having no clue what he meant by it, but it seemed to be the right thing considering how you kissed him. You pulled your hands from his to wrap behind his neck and fit yourself into his lap. Bucky’s hands went to your thighs, spread wide over his hips, and he squeezed his way up the backs to your jean pockets, slipping his hands inside to squeeze again. “Here or…” Bucky pulled away to catch his breath and nod in the direction of your bedroom.

“Take your girlfriend to bed, Bucky,” you laughed, kissing him again and he stood with you still in his arms, legs clinging to his lower back. Girlfriend. Okay, Bucky decided in a snap. He could work with that. Especially if it meant chocolate chip cookies and birthday sex. Which reminded him and you giggled as he turned back around, hoisting you higher up on his torso with the vibranium arm below your butt and stooped carefully to grab the plate of cookies with the other before taking you and your cookies to bed.

His first relationship in the 21st century had surprised him. Come out of nowhere and nothing. One moment he was standing at a bar, nursing a beer that wouldn’t affect him at all while he listened to talk about your job before not so subtly asking about his, the next it was his birthday and he had a mouthful of chocolate chip cookies while you had a mouthful of him. It’s funny how fast life changes. If only he’d known just how quickly his new relationship would fall apart.

A/N: I’ve been cooking up this series for a while now and I thought, why not post the first bit and see what happens. First time writing for this fandom, so we’re diving in head first with a feckin’ long series and some foolin’ around. I do welcome tags if you’re interested.

Masterlist

[liron-ao3]

Valid

Dean sets the moving box on their new dining table.

Their.

It still feels strange to say and think that. But this is their house. Castiel's and his. Fully furnished, a back garden with a bee-friendly meadow, and a huge garage at the front for Baby and whatever eco-friendly monstrosity his partner will be able to talk him into.

They fixed this house for months, working with their bare hands, sweating ridiculously, stealing kisses in between. They have been the best months of Dean's life, and even though his joints creak just a little more now and his knee is acting up like a bitch, Dean wouldn't change it for the world.

It's a house to be filled with memories. A home, like maybe only the bunker ever was to Dean. It's full of things, some shiny and new, some old, given a second life. Just like them.

Dean has never owned so many things before. Even in his year with Lisa. He had always known that he was only a guest in her life. He lived in her house, loved her son, mowed her lawn. Maybe that would have changed over time. Maybe a year is simply not enough to create an 'ours' from 'mine' and 'yours'.

It's their house already though, even though they are only moving in today.

Dean opens the box that holds the few things he might call his own forever, though. Like the picture of him and his mum before she died. Well, the first time when he was a kid. There are bits and bobs, knick-knacks picked up on the road, too. A tiny drawing that a little girl made for him after he saved her and her parents on a solo hunt. It's yellowed and crinkled. He smiles at it. That had been one of the good days.

Some pieces remind him of the women he used to love. A ring that he had meant to give Cassie more than a decade ago. He doesn't even know why he kept it. Maybe as a reminder? Of what, he isn't so sure. Maybe that someone once loved him, simply for being himself. It's a fucked-up, twisted way of thinking, but well. He's Dean Winchester, after all. Not the best boyfriend material.

He looks up and through the wide windows that give the impression of the garden reaching into their living room. He watches Castiel for a long moment, the way his shoulders twitch as the angel seems to be in deep conversation with a hummingbird. Dean huffs a laugh. Castiel is a weird little bean, avenging angel and little puppy cramped into an unfitting trench coat. At least, his boyfriend owns more clothes now. He simply wears it out of nostalgia.

It's still hard to believe that this man wants to be his, saw his very soul and fell in love with it. Dean still struggles, but he's tired of running away from himself, from love in the fear of losing it. Castiel is his best friend and the third love of his life. Hopefully the last.

Dean has slept with many, girls, guys, and non-binary people. It didn't matter. There only had to be the sparkle, the special tension that pulls two bodies together until they collide in an explosion of passion, fast-burning, the flame already extinct come morning.

It was all he thought he deserved. Everyone who stayed with a Winchester was destined to die for them. He can count the women in his life that didn't die through Chuck's stupid games on one hand.

Dean clicks the ring box open. He hopes that Cassie is happy with whatever bastard is blessed enough to have her at his side. She still holds a special place in Dean's heart. And he loves that he can talk about her with Castiel, that there is no jealousy, just happiness that Dean once had someone who loved him, and grief that it wasn't meant to be.

Like with Lisa. But that was different. Dean still doesn't know what he loved more—her or the idea of loving her, the version of himself that he was at her side. It doesn't matter now. Castiel made all their pictures disappear, along with the memories in her and Ben's heads. He left one photograph of their little family on Dean's pillow, though. The one he crammed into his duffle bag and put into his bedside drawer in the bunker.

Leaving Lisa and Ben had hurt like a bitch. And Castiel held him after a nightmare in which Dean dreamt they were taken by vampires. He had been so angry at him, shouting that it was all his fault. And Castiel had looked at him with sad eyes, saying, "I know."

But he was wrong. Dean knows it wasn't anybody's fault. Both of them tried to do the right thing. Even Castiel as he watched him raking the leaves and decided to let him go. Out of love, even though Castiel didn't have the word for this emotion back then.

Dean runs his fingers through the items that he only spilt from the drawer in a rush, already too late because of a hunt popping up. Castiel didn't comment on his tardiness. Dean knows that he worries about losing him. He can see it in his eyes, every time he needs to heal him. But Dean is worried about him, too. He has seen him die too many times. Castiel may be an angel, but he's far from invincible.

Dean stops still when he touches a small magnet, nestled between a soldier figure he played with growing up on the backseat of the Impala, and a flyer for a wedding venue that was haunted by a ghost before he and Castiel banished it. He took the leaflet, just in case. It's stupid, of course. He's officially dead and he won't marry Jimmy Novak. No way! And it's not as if he would think about marriage, or giving kids made orphans by the supernatural a home or something.

He takes the magnet and looks at it. It's bent a little, the colours slightly chapped. But the pink, purple, and blue are still recognisable. He got it many years ago when he stumbled into a pride event hunting a werewolf.

"So, what letter of the alphabet are you?" a gum bubble making twink had asked him, scanning him from head to toe, sending a rush of endorphins through Dean, better than the one after killing the rogue wolf half an hour earlier.

"B," Dean had said, flashing him his most winsome smile. He had never said it out loud before that moment. Why define who you are if you only share a bed for one night?

Sam had been surprised when he and Castiel got together. Eileen much less so. Maybe because she had known it all along, kindred souls and all that crap.

A smile tugs on the corner of Dean's lips, and he looks up from the magnet to the garden again. Castiel is standing on their porch, watching him with a soft, close-lipped smile.

"Creepy," Dean calls, heat rising into his cheeks. He's still not used to being looked at like this. With so much love and devotion. Castiel said he had to learn to live with it. Dean's trying, but as of yet, it still makes him squirm. But in a good way.

"Mind if I put these on the fridge?" He holds up the photographs and the drawing with a questioning, vulnerable look.

Castiel smiles even wider. "Of course. They're all family."

Dean takes out a breath, feeling like he hasn't drawn air for days. He nods, walks to the kitchen, and fixes the items with magnets on the fridge. Then he looks at the three-coloured magnet in his hand. He may not really have hidden his sexuality, but he didn't show it proudly either. Maybe it's time for it now.

He bends it so that it is plane again, and presses it under the pictures of him and his mum, a snapshot of him, Sam, Eileen, and Castiel. Next to the picture of him with Lisa and Ben, and the drawing of that little girl who drew him with a cowboy hat. He looks at the fridge door and nods. This is him.

Loving son and brother, friend, saviour, bisexual man, surrogate father, and boyfriend. He's more than a hunter, more than a piece on Chuck' checkerboard, more than the sum of his mistakes. He has loved, and he has failed. And despite it all, he is proud. Not too much. But he can feel it, burning in his chest. He is valid and worthy of having it all.

[yoursinfulurges]

We'll be alright

Description:

In which Jung Jaehyun hurts you in ways you thought he would never be capable of.

Warnings: pure angst, with the added fluff

Disclaimer: This was supposed to be a make up sex smut but i wasn't too sure how to shift the mood, so if you guys want a part 2 please let me know, im a sucker for make up sex. Do forgive me if my wording is off, i haven't written in quite some time. Not to worry, I'll eventually fall back into my old ways.

_____________

Your boyfriend, Jaehyun, had always been the most kind and caring person you knew. Ever since you met him, and even after months of dating, he still acted like the elegant Disney prince you took him for. Only treating you with nothing but respect and admiration; you often wondered if this boy was even capable of making an insult. For he acts way too nice and sweet for his own good. Originally, you thought the kind gestures and lovely sweet talking was his way of subtly flirting, but after weeks of dating him, you came to the realization that it was just him. Jaehyun didn't need to pretend to be kind and sweet like other guys; given that it was like second nature for him. You loved the boy to death. He showered you with so much love, spoiled you with affection. Treated you like his queen; His shining jewel. Out of the 3 years that you'd been together, he has never once wronged you.

    That is, up until this exact moment...

You stand there in the middle of the kitchen, tears streaming down your cheeks. At this point you had stopped listening to what he was saying. In fear that if you continued to listen to his harsh words, more of your love would begin to fade away, and you couldn't afford to lose any more. Despite of all your excessive yelling, you loved Jaehyun. And he meant so much to you. But seeing him in this state, angry and hostile, attacking you viciously with his words, you began to question your future with him.

You couldn't quite fathom what brought on this newfound aggression in your relationship. Though, you had a slight seeking suspicion that it was from all the post-exam stress you both had to endure. Weeks upon weeks of studying and sleepless nights finally took its toll on the both of you. Thus bringing you to this exact moment in time. The once loving home corrupted by the harsh spoken words that fell from both of your lips. Anger and aggression filling the room, space welcoming the negativity with open arms.

The mere thought of breaking up with the man hurts you so dearly. You just wanted your loving boyfriend back from what ever abyss he dissapeared off to. Typically your fights never lasted this long, but this one proved to be quite challenging. You just wanted him to stop yelling. But in fear of the unthinkable outcome of your protest, you kept shut and held onto the remaining pieces of your heart. However, his following statements made the task very difficult. It was as if he was challenging your composure. Like he wanted the flood gates broken.

His words might've just been from all the stress, ..or pent up insults and remarks that he'd been silently keeping in. You had no way of telling. You prayed and hoped that it was the first one rather than the assuming latter. Because maybe then, you would consider forgiving him. Even though the words punctured you like bullets, penetrating your inner layers and hurting you in more ways than one. You questioned the morals behind his words, were they intended to hurt you, or was it just in the heat of the moment. Regardless, you knew that his words would be something that lingered on forever in your head.

"I don't even know why i stayed this long with you, honestly! What do i even see in you! You're easily replaceable, so i don't see why you're acting so high and mighty. News flash y/n, i could do a lot better!"

You always knew that Jaehyun could do better, but hearing this from himself was a lot different than you saying it to yourself. Before you had started dating you knew he had a chance with rosé. She was a very pretty girl that went to your university, she was also Jaehyun's dance partner. Rosé was nice, sweet, popular, talented. You were aware of the little 'thing' they had going on. So to your surprise, when you heard rumors of a certain jung jaehyun, looking to ask you out, you almost didn't believe. Hell, you laughed straight into Suh's face and told him he was delusional. If only jaehyun wasn't stood right behind you to prove you wrong.

Ever since that day, you questioned Jaehyun's choice. Why did he choose you, when he could've had a chance with rosé? You figured that he saw something special in you that nobody else did. Though, his previous statement proves you wrong and tells you that he doesn't even know why he gave you a chance. You're at a drift, not knowing where this relationship is headed, or where to stand. Knowing that you were replaceable to Jaehyun weakens you. Were you really that insignificant to him? Were you a chore to be around? If so then why did he stay for 3 years? All these questions ran through your mind as you're frozen in a state of shock. How do you follow such a thing?

You stand silently, wails threatening to break free from your lips, as you shake. Instantly covering your mouth with your palm. You watch as he screamed at you more, words blocked out by the ringing in your ears. Truthfully, you were glad you couldn't hear his words, not knowing how to reciprocate to any more of his personal attacks.

The familiar feeling of despair began to conjure in the pit of your stomach. The tightness in your chest began to focus on your beating heart, constricting you like a boa preying on its meal. Everything around you became a hazy blur as the non stop ringing became more prominent. The cause being your angry boyfriend and his heart-wrenching words. Jolts of anxiety began to climb up from your figure tips, like a thousand spiders crawling on your skin. A feeling you know all too well crept up from behind you. You were beginning to feel frantic and scared, as your breathing became unstable.

"What!? Huh, not gonna clap back with some snarky remark. Admit it, you know im right."

Jaehyun's face was a striking shade of scarlet while he paced back and forth, hands finding themselves tangled in his hair as he mumbled inaudible words. His hair, you remember running your hands threw his smooth, silky locks this morning when you woke up. Oh, how happy and blissful you both were 12 hours prior to this moment. You both were so content and hopeful with the prospect of your relationship. Being able to finally spend time with each other after a stressful week. Originally, you had planned a date night with jaehyun. But things began to make a turn for the worse when he began to insult every little thing you did. Now here you were, an hour and forty-five minutes late for your reservations.

A taste of bitterness began to fill your mouth, as your insides churned. Waves of sadness and despair hit you like a tsunami. You suddenly couldn't stand the thought of staying in the same room as Jaehyun. Let alone sleeping in one. For his words had impacted you like an arrow through the heart. You felt sick, disgusted, vulnerable, and above all else, hurt.

"God, you're such a fucking bitch, you know!?" Jaehyun spat, but soon after stopped, noticing your sudden change in demeanor. Your once, fuming and aggressive facade was replaced with a much more subdued, fragile, hurt exterior, mirroring how you felt inside. You had given up. The bandage that held your heart together snapped.

You looked up at him, hurt written all over your face. Instantly, Jaehyun rushed your way. He wanted to wrap his arms around you, apologize for calling you a bitch. But stopped when you held your hand out and shook your head, a sob erupting from your mouth. Suddenly, all the hurtful things Jaehyun said rang threw his own head.

Oh...

"Baby, I-" He started, not knowing how to follow. His mouth suddenly became dry, letting out a sigh of regret. His chest tightening at the sight of what he has done to you. Jaehyun knew you weren't the type to forgive and forget. Even if you both manage to recover from this, he knew that his words would always be in your head. You would constantly doubt yourself and his transparency, thinking if it was all an act.

Regret began to eat away at him once again when he noticed your uneven breathing. Another punch in his gut when he took note of your shaking. Jaehyun's eyes quickly darted to yours, his heart breaking when he saw the amount of fear in them. He was uncertain if you were scared of him or your emotions. He wanted it to be the second one. Jaehyun never wanted you to see him in that light. Yet here you were, having an anxiety attack because of him...

"Don't call me that...." You spat coldy, backing away slowly into your shared bedroom. Making sure he didn't follow and locking the door. Once in the cozy room, you sob. You couldn't bear to see all the happy pictures of you two, when he said so himself, you're nothing special to him. Without thinking, you began to rip off every Polaroid, framed pictures, and drawings from the walls. Not caring of ripping them. You threw them all on the floor. Your vision becoming clouded by tears as you sob. Ruining the white fabric of your oversized sweater with your makeup contaminated tears.

Your body halts, the last remaining picture was of the both of you on your first date. You always considered that day as the happiest moment of your life. But now knowing that you're just a pit stop in Jaehyun's life, the memory manifests into something much darker than obsidian.

You inhale as you looked at the picture one more time. It was you kissing jaehyun on the cheek. He donned a beautiful cheshire smile, his dimples displaying proudly. He wore a pink snap back hat backwards with golden rimmed glasses. You always love it when he wore hats, especially that one. You remembered every emotion you felt as the picture was being taken. Even if you didn't, your expression held it all. You radiated happiness as the butterflies in your stomach became restless. You were so happy. What happened...

You sob lightly, your thumb caressing his face as you looked fondly at the picture. Suddenly, words that fell from his mouth earlier replayed in your head. He had purposely attacked your deepest insecurities. Jabbed and taunted you. The Jaehyun you knew would never result to something so cruel and petty. Without putting much thought into it, you began to take the picture out of its frame.

Your ears perking up when you hear the familiar sound of the lock being picked. The jiggling of the doorknob was something you grew accustomed to. Having locked yourselves out of the bedroom on more than one occasion. Naturally, you grew familiar of the sound.

Taking one final breath, you rip the picture in two and retreated into the master bathroom. Once the door was slammed shut and locked, all hell broke loose. Your wails grew louder and more repetitive that you were being to sound like a banshee. Eventually, you found yourself curled up in the bathtub, suppressing your cries into your knees as you lowered your head.

Jaehyun finally succeeds in picking the lock, after what seemed like hours, and once he creaked opened the door of your shared bedroom, his heart broke in two. Parts of him began to deteriorate, he wished he had never said those hurtful things. Jaehyun knew that one of your biggest insecurities was never being special to somebody. And that weren't fond of feeling worthless. He knew your background and upbringing well enough to know just how much you disliked being treated such as.

All he wanted to do was hold you in his arms and kiss your tears away. A pool of sadness brimmed his eyes as he evaluates the damage. From one corner of the room to the other, pictures were left scattered and discarded. The framed drawings of him that you illustrated, sat on the floor of your bedroom, frame cracked and shattered. The Polaroids he held ever so dearly to his heart, littered the bed and floor. He broke down in tears when he sees the torn picture of you both.

How could you vandalize such a treasured memory. But then again, how could he hurt the most precious thing in his life. Seeing the picture ripped apart like this, he knew that somehow he affected your perspective on this whole relationship. His previous words had tainted such beloved memories, and twisted them to seem like nothing more than a one-sided love. He made you question whether he truly loved you or not. Suddenly the realization kicked in, and it kicked in hard. A tsunami of guilt and regret pierced threw is heart. His insides churned and it suddenly became very hard to breathe. He suddenly became really aware of how dire this situation was. His following actions may break your relationship if he didn't act wisely.

Jaehyun bends down to hold your piece of the puzzle, a river flow of heart ache cascading down his cheeks, wetting the captured image of you. Your sobs, which had begun to sound like cries of help, due to lack of air, rang threw Jaehyun's ears. Suddenly he grew concerned and rushed to the door, dropping your image.

Immediately, you stop when you heard soft knocks coming from the other end of the door, which was soon followed by cries and sniffling sounds.

"Baby, open the door!" You don't comply with his words and stayed seated in your place, hugging your knees tighter.

"W-what are you gonna do if i don't? Pick the lock and violate my privacy! Just go away J-jaehyun! W-why don't you go find another girl to replace me, because apparently, i-i mean nothing to you!" Screaming at the inanimate door, or more so the person behind it, as you let out a cut short wail. You hated yourself for how weak and broken you sounded. Wishing, you could drown out his stupid words that had already engraved itself deep in your brain.

"Y-you said s-so yourself! I'm easily replaceable! I-if i had known that this relationship was just gonna be one sided then i would've never wasted my time!" Apparent in your tone and words how truly distraught you were, jaehyun cried harder. He winced at the thought of how broken you were. It only lead him to wonder, what exactly happened and what brought on this fight. Sounding more so a statement rather than a question in his head.

He parted his lips softly, a small whimpering sigh rolling off his tongue.

"Please y/n, just open the door. I-i just want to see you. Please..." his words laced with mixed emotions, such as sorrow and regret. Despite his current emotional state, Jaehyun's stature looked rather composed, not mirroring the feelings settling in his stomach.

Incoherently mumbling a soft 'please' as he laid his forehead onto the wood door.

After much hesitance, you stood up and made your way to the door. Jaehyun hears the small shuffle and quickly straightens himself out. After seconds of hovering your hand over the knob, you twist it open, instantly unlocking itself and setting free all the pent up emotions. You crack open the door, almost immediately, Jaehyun rushes in and hugs you.

You don't return the hug, silently stiffening in his arms. At that moment, the last few bits 0of composure you had left snaps loose. You become a crying mess in Jaehyun's arms. Feelings of unmeasurable sadness cascade down your cheeks, onto his black long sleeve shirt. You try and push him away, but fail due to his strength. His muscular arms constricting you as if you would fade away.

"Listen to me please." He says softly, tears lightly streaming down his cheeks, though, not to the caliber of yours.

Yiu sniffle lightly, thrashing in his arms. Though, it was no use, his hold was so secure that no amount of resist would break you free. So, you could do nothing else but endure what he has to say.

"I'm sorry-

Sorry doesn't fix anything Jaehyun, it's just a word." The teary-eyed male hissed at your words. The amount of hurt and venom your tone held was enough to make his jaw clench and his hold to tighten.

"I know it doesn't, but it's a start. Look, i didn't mean to say that. I don't know what came over me, or what caused me to say those things. But what i do know is that they were a hundred percent untrue. And i want you to know that..." He pauses briefly to wipe away your tears with his thumb. Dipping his head into the crook of your neck. He took in your floral scent, hoping it would help him regain composure.

"I love you with all my heart, and that you are the most unique girl I've ever met... If anything i don't know how i even managed to get a girlfriend as beautiful and amazing as you. Wanna know why i stay with you?" You nod lightly into his chest. His hold re-adjust itself as he lays his head above yours. Almost content with your slight gesture, but he needed to be sure you were happy.

-it's because you accept me for who i am. You don't pressure me to be perfect all the time, you welcome my flaws with open arms; you don't expect anything from me and shower me with so much love. I want you to know that i could never replace you, not that i ever want to. How did i ever get so lucky... Please y/n, you are one of the most important people in my life. I-i can't loose you..." Jaehyun couldn't fathom a future with out you in it. He grew frantic, thinking that this morning could've been the your breakfast together. And that there would be a slight chance that you didn't want to forgive him again.

"Please say something...." He sighed, taking your tightening hold on his shirt to keep moving forwards.

"Do you remember when we first started dating, that night i texted you that i was angry and frustrated. And you came over in a heart beat, even though you lived fifteen minutes away... Y-you told me to let it all out, and i cried in your arms for an hour, complaining about everything. I felt so ashamed crying in front of you, but you told me that i was so brave for accepting my feelings... I know what i said must've hurt you, but I'll do better. I'm sorry for triggering you like that." Jaehyun's tone was barely above whisper, and if he hadn't have said it directly above your ear, you would've missed it.

You thought back to the said memory and smiled fondly, that was the night you both realized that you wanted a more serious title on your relationship. Finally labeling each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. You thought back to all the happy memories you both shared and confirmed that a silly little fight wouldn't get the best of you. Yes, his words might've hurt, but his actions now out ways all of his petty insults. You give into your flourishing heart and forgive him.

Backing away from his chest lightly, you look up at him, gasping slightly at his blood shot eyes. You hesitatly reach up to cup both of his cheeks. Wiping away the remaining tears that streamed down his cheeks. He smiled lightly and leaned into your touch, taking one of your hands in his and place a soft, delicate kiss on it.

"We'll be alright...." You smiled at his comforting words before planting a passionate, loving kiss on his lips. Jaehyun smiled lightly before taking your wrist on his hold and guiding them to wrap around his neck. He deepens the kiss and pulls you closer by your waist

It was then that he realized that he wanted you to be the only women in his life. And that he wanted nobody else. Suddenly feeling an overly compelling urge in his heart to marry you then and there and to claim you as his.

'Indeed, we'll be alright'

_____________

E/n: please let me know how you guys felt, i appreciate all feedbacks. Let me know if you want a part 2 with smut or not. I know it's bit underwhelming, but i promise I'll do better in the future. The full version of BBC is in the works and I've picked back up writing it!!

[brideofcthulhu10]

The Lost Boys Finding Out Their Fem!S/O is Pregnant [2/4]

Oof this one was tricky. I'm currently working on Dwayne's which is nearly finished, then lastly Paul. It's definitely hard mixing in the feelings that come with a young pregnancy. I actually got pregnant with my daughter Raven at 19 (she's now almost 3 and I'm married to her dad) so it's a bit easier to tap into those conflicting feelings of joy and panic. It's just morphing it to fit the boys that's a challenge. Anyway enough about me, please enjoy as we move on to:

MARKO

It was just supposed to be a quick check, a way to reassure you that it was just paranoia. Your period was a little late, no biggie!

Until it was. 

Now here you were, wedged in your own little cave courtesy of the boys, grasping a plastic strip with abject horror. Pink never seemed so ominous, but that tiny plus mark just sent your world into chaos. For a moment you swore you had an out of body experience, and in a panic you chuck it onto your bed and stand up as if it were a bomb ready to blow. What now? What was this, some sort of cosmic punishment? Those nights you spent luring unexpecting men for your lover, Marko, to devour were coming back in a wave of karma. A ba- you didn't dare think the word!

 How was it even possible? You were a virgin when you and Marko got together, he was the only one to ever be intimate with you. There was no denying the father… but the reality of it scared you. What could that mean? What would happen to you? How would you raise it, was it even going to be human? Or half vampire? Were there even any vampire babies?!

 You gripped the sides of your head, on the verge of a panic attack. Were the walls getting closer? A rush of claustrophobia just hit you all at once. All these questions nearly made you spin, and mistakenly you lean on your bedside table. The uneven weight flipped it, wine bottle candelabras smashing onto the cave floors alerting the two remaining vamps, Dwayne and Paul. Marko had left with David to pick up dinner, last thing they knew was you went to take a nap. 

"Y/N," Paul called out, waiting for a response. A few minutes was all he needed to get up, only causing you more panic when the crunching of his boots grew louder. In a regrettable move you snatched your jacket and bolted out of your room, shoulder tapping Paul in a blind mad dash for the exit. He called out in confusion, trying to follow you as you weaved through old wooden beams. Dwayne was next to stand in your way, grabbing the crook of your upper arm by your elbow. 

"Hey, hey, whoa, whoa Y/N, what's wrong? Where are you going?"

You couldn't find the words, but the walls continued to cave in on you. Paul managed to weave his way back and you could only blurt out an apology before jumping over the fountain and out the door. The old wooden stairs rapidly creaked, waves rolling over the unstable platforms. You could still hear them trying to catch you. Dipping into the woods alongside the shoreline you waited until they went the wrong way. Out of sight, you returned to the uneven dirt and ran alongside the road barefoot. You didn't know where you were going, you didn't know why you were running, but your body was in an absolute fight or flight mode. The rumbling of motorcycles encroached upon you, mistakenly assuming it was the dynamic duo coming to retrieve you. Instead from the approaching end you could see headlights hitting you. 

You had to give credit to vampires, they didn't miss a thing. The skeletal machine stalled in a shuddered halt that kicked up a cloud gravel just passed her.  There he was, sitting atop his humming motorcycle pushing out a flurry of blonde curls. Marko, completely taken aback to find you barefoot sprinting down a dark road like your life depended on it. You knew better than to be out here alone. If their eyes weren't able to pick you out so easily in the dark, you could've been hit!

"Babygirl? Hey, what are you doing out here? Where are you going," Marko questioned, a look of utter confusion across his face. He could hear your heart racing, the blood pumping so fast. Why were you so scared?

With a swing of his leg he dismounted, but you couldn't face him. "I-I just have to go, Marko, I-I'm so sorry babe," you stutter, clutching your jacket tightly against your body. 

"What? What are you talking about?" Marko tried to approach, even David was confused by this point. Sure they weren't exactly as cuddly as bunnies, but the way you worshiped Marko was undeniable. Always on his arm, whispering secrets to each other that would result in a burst of snickers, sharing boardwalk treats while gushing over rides, tagging along wherever they went.. honestly, the first few months of it he found nauseating. A little human pet fawning over her new boyfriend. But even after you learned their true nature it didn't phase you. It took over a year and a half to show him you weren't leaving, and they'd come to accept you into their coven. Hell, you'd become an assert, drawing in unsuspecting Santa Carla citizens to their den for an ambush whenever they were too lazy to hunt.

Your face contorted into a mass of expressions, Marko's own furrowed brow morphed into genuine hurt when you took a step back the closer he got. "I'm sorry… Marko, I'm so so sorry."

This time didn't get very far when you ran. He didn't even bother with his bike, flying ahead of you and catching you in his arms. You tried to squirm, but it was like a mouse in the grips of a tiger. "Babygirl, hey! Stop, stop, hang on stop!"

Your head was pressed against him, he wouldn't let go. "Please, baby. Please stop." The tremble in his voice made your stomach twist into knots, and you couldn't help but cling to him. Just endless sobbing apologies, burying yourself in his shirt taking in that comforting scent you lived for. Fear overwhelmed you. You didn't to leave, you weren't even trying to go anywhere. But what would happen if he knew? Would Marko stay…?

 You both just stood there wrapped around one another, and finally the words left your mouth. It didn't even sound like you. You wondered if he would even hear it.

"Marko… I'm pregnant.."

For a moment Marko swore his heart beat, a split second of life that felt like his ribs were being crushed. The words rattled him, lifting your chin you looked up at him. This time his confusion wasn't hurt, just… in awe. He would let out these little breathless laughs, rapid blinking with hands cupping your cheeks while he struggled to find the right words. "You're… but I never though I coul-.. are you really- really..?"

Your soft nod filled him with warmth. That's all it took. What else could he do but practically swing you in his arms, burying you neck in a wave of kisses. The thought was scary of course. But more than that, he just felt such otherworldly joy. You were carrying his baby, a part of him was growing inside you. Once he set you down, he kissed you so deeply you nearly melted in his grasp. "That's… i-incredible, babygirl I can't even believe it," he breathlessly exclaimed, his forehead resting on yours. Those fears rushing through you were silenced the moment he held you, tears morphing into ones of joy. You couldn't help but laugh, giggling as you kissed him again and again. Guess you owed the boys an explanation, but knowing how happy Marko was, you weren't afraid to say those words anymore

[thelostandforgottenangel]

Nightmare AU: Part 1 - Escaping the Ward

@under-the-scarlet-reign88 @fyreball66 @betelgeusessonajblog @blossom-skies @narwals14 @bluesakurablossom​ @kokokatsworld​ @midnightrebel669​ @lonelyheart-clubband​ @missbeautyandherbeast​​ @midnight-chocolate-turtle​​ @myheyheyheystuff​ @nikitaboeve​​ @mistyroselove​​ @waterstar2016​​ @nights-legacy​​ @janna-the-breaker​​ @missmagellanic​​ @darksaphire2002​​ @aurora-the-kunoichi​​ @moonlightflower21​​ @queendice98​​ @infintyfandoms @ravn-87​​ @bmntgirl​​ @vixie-chan233 

I will apologize ahead of time! My dreams are very fucked up sometimes and well - this might be a bit jumpy or unclear but for typing it in the middle of a panic attack after finally waking up from this I am just happy I survived this dream *Sighs* It was a bit traumatic so everyone enjoy

Also sorry it took forever for me to post kinda took forever to locate the folder a moved by accident with trying to keep up with kids

Place: New York City, Sack's Institute, Lab D6

Time: 5 a.m.

The small girl looked out past the corner before slipping out into the empty hallway, trying hard to be quiet so as not to draw attention to her. 

A grimy duffle bag was kept tucked under one arm and cradled close to her body while making several soothing sounds under every breath she took to keep her precious cargo quiet as she cried for the loss hanging heavily on her heart

If they wanted to live to see freedom, if she wanted to give the babies a chance to see something besides stone walls and bars the young girl would not be able to break down 

She did not have time or the privilege to stop just yet; her mourning had to be pushed to the back burner.

Still, the tears fell in silent streams while sneaking down the destroyed hallways of the only place she had ever known as home.

After what felt like an eternity of tests that had been run on her exhausted body the night before, she realized there was no more time to waste 

As night had fallen across the city none of them could sleep knowing something was wrong; the atmosphere in the building was wrong. The screams echoing down the halls had each of them nervous to close their eyes even for a moment.

The younger three finally took comfort she would stay awake curled up on her lap as she bounced the babies waited patiently until all the kids were asleep.

Gradually getting to her feet once she was confident the kids were out cold and safe in their nest, the small female turned to slip out through the wall at the back. 

Sneaking around outside wasn't too hard since it seemed quiet tonight, sticking to the dark cast onto the ground of the storm clouded morning until she finally made it to the garage.

There were no guards posted near the yard this early; most were probably at the meeting for the new specimen she had been hearing whispers about for days from the guards meaning she had a lucky break while starting the closest vehicle

It was a slight struggle figuring out how to get it to move but did what she could remember seeing the guards; finally backing one of the trucks just off the edge of the cameras after hitting the building and rolling forward once more, giving only enough room they could get in without being noticed

Now her plot was in motion; she was going to get away from this place if it was the last thing she did. 

Having been here for a few years after her family had sold her into the endless lapse of torture and testing they ran daily were more then enough motivation to make anyone want to run, and if she was going; there was no way she was leaving this place empty-handed

The girl was planning on getting out as many subjects as she could; once she was sure it was safe, she had ducked back under the overgrowth, squeezing through the hole that led outside from their cell only to find when she got through the hidden shaft the kids were gone from their nest 

They had been there when she left, now she worried they were hurting them and rushed out the now open cells to find the babies, not caring for her own life once she was out the cell door.

Entering the silent intersecting hallway made it very clear this was not a typical day within the prison.

The building she had known as her home was in ruins.

Paper files and the medical carts had been thrown about in whatever had ripped throughs rampage.

Noticing too late red gore pooled around the bodies that were being left in whatever had gotten outs murderous path, almost tripping over one as the lights flickered.

 On any other day, there would have been screams of pain from the experiments, the low buzzing of those awful machines; instead, dead silence had thickened the air so much oxygen no longer seemed to exist around her

The closer she got to the labs, the more blood seemed to be smeared over the walls or splattered across the floor from the victims that had tried to run, making it clear whatever had done this found her it had no humanity left and; if located she would be joining the dead at her feet

That only narrowed the list to everything in the building over the age of ten. No big deal!

She finally heard something but not what she wanted; the screech of a terrified woman in front of her made the girl dropped down behind a wall breathing slow as she pressed herself flat just wanting to absorb into the wall as whoever it was bolted past her only seconds later yelling for help, a large black silhouette followed and seemed to be gaining until the screams were cut off

Something akin to fear kept her there until she forced herself to take a breath before pushing her body up - then kept running, praying whatever it was did not hear her leave.

After being sure nothing was there inside the laboratory where she had been tortured since day one stepping forward inspecting the area before getting to the cages. 

This was still done in complete silence, hurriedly searching in a panic, pleading to an unearthly entity willing to listen to the discarded pleas that she was not too late before relief hit her

A sweet little face was at the front of one cage almost instantly “Daenery!” the smiling face through the bars was a welcome sight even as the girl rolled her eyes at the nickname the children had given her 

Since the subject tags were what they were known as she grew used to it, but in secret, they had given each other names to not become like the forgotten. 

It was a way to remember one another if they died-

The thin boy was squinting to see her better as soon as she grabbed his hand that reached between the bars, she knew even though they had messed up his eyes to the point he was close to being completely blind, the boy was still scanning the area watching her back

The mutant held tight to her arm as she jerked the door 

breaking the wrecked joints that looked to have barely held up to whatever was trying to get in after him.

He scrambled out the second she had it open, wrapping the little boy in a tight hug; her voice stayed low promising him it was going to be okay when she saw how scared he was.

He was a few years younger then her and still knew not to make any noise when usually, he was a chatterbox if scared or nervous but in the labs; they had never heard him speak once, their captors thinking the child was mute like a few of the other kids

They had two options here, and even at this age they both knew it was either: they got caught and locked back up in the cells or they would be killed 

Neither was an option.

His big honey brown eyes had started to look around them when she handed him his broken goggles to better his vision but blocked him from looking with her hands whispering under her breath so softly she was not sure he heard her “Eyes stay here – do not look away from me no matter what understand brainiac?” she waited until he finally nodded holding tight to her baggy shirt with his thin fingers while searching holding him close to keep the boy from seeing what she could

It took some time, but eventually, she found another cage still closed with a small form inside lying in a motionless heap with his back to her as she forced the grate open, snapping the lock then reaching in to flip him over; the girl started patting his sliced cheek even if it did her no good

The second boy was a bit bigger then the child she had just freed but still relatively small and looked to be heavily sedated; indicating when they came to take all of the children, he had put up a hell of a fight “Hey hothead… come on, I got you kiddo” the dulled golden eyes shifted a bit just to looked through her, she gathering him up in her arms whispering he would be okay a third child crawled into her view wondering if he had been on the tables when everything went down; like usual he just seemed way too calm “Fearless… oh thank god” happy to see him alive, both hugged him tight for a long moment; finally feeling him squeezing back when it dawned on the kid who was holding him

The third oldest tried to tell her what had happened, how the guards had come in to find she was gone then attempted to take them before she returned thinking one of the night guards had grabbed her but was silenced as she waved her hand consoling him quietly to sound hopeful that it was almost over

She could hear something outside looking up at the same time as the eldest boy grabbing them and pulling the three to hide until the noises were gone.

Her heart was heavy in only locating three of the seven lives she had been assigned no matter how much the girl searched the destroyed lab; knowing they were the last of fifty kids who had been punished for not raising to the expectation of the bosses at the final evaluation seeing the other cages were empty or had been ripped open violently

The only evidence someone had been in there were a few claw marks and streaks with blood.

They might be all that was left-

The last cage on the wall held a small baby – one of the two she had been searching for was long expired after what they had done while she wasn't there to protect the children, the guilt reduced the young girl into a sobbing mess

Gathering the children in the broken state took a minute while trying to pull herself together, hard as it was; there was nothing she could do for her baby sister except keep her promise; carefully wrapping the tiny body in a cloth forming a sling to tie the bundle to her

With the help of both boy's she got the second child upon her back, he was almost too heavy for her to carry they would never get anywhere dragging him down the halls "Stay close and no sounds" she got two slow nods before heading down the corridor hurrying past the breeding room hearing screams from within as something ripped through the room

Reaching the main floor for the building; they all skid to a stop when the girl held up one hand, at first it was just an uneasy feeling until heavy footsteps could be heard coming from somewhere in front of them, immediately pushing both behind the welcome desk before it saw them 

Kneeling to the ground; she somehow managed to keep the two boys focus on her as she waited for it to leave 

A deep growl shook the air right behind them almost pulling a whimper from the youngest before her hand was over his mouth, drawing him close as the other kid shifted silently to protect his back, just waiting until it either found them or took off in the direction they had just come from each of them letting out a shaky sigh when it did the latter moments later grabbing both making a run for it before anything else stumbled across the group

They could not stop moving even if when the thinner male started breathing hard, fighting to keep up as his body started to give in to exhaustion.

Realizing he could no longer keep up made the oldest stop checking for danger as he took him on his back then kept running, staying on her heels the best he could.

She swore she smiled upon getting them to the safe room unseen and undetected handing the keycard she stole off so they could all run in without being seen locking the door behind them 

As soon as she had covered up the boys with a blanket and placed the baby in a small crate, she pleaded for them to stay on the couch and rest; finding a first aid kit she started cleaning the deep cuts that now marred the second boys face, bandaging it to keep any infections from forming

Waiting would be hard; but once the sky grew dark enough for them to get out unseen she would tell them to run for it, there would be no looking back; they would have to be fast and keep going even if they lost someone

Leaving would mean getting out of the city for good and being they could probably not survive for long without food given they made it out - she had to find sustenance to hold them until they reached a safe place to stop

After dumping out boxes to carry everything in she started to gather supplies to run them; breaking the vending machines open, stuffing any food or drinks in sacks and boxes while feeding the kids at the same time letting them indulge in the sweets they were never allowed to have, placing each container close to the door to be taken out 

She felt a slight tug on her gown as she let a few tears fall for her babies looking over to find Leo at her side nuzzling her cheek as she cracked the tiniest bit; that was when the eldest told her the fate of the youngest boy, how they had left his in the far cell as bait after taking the rest of them

They had put one of her babies out there unprotected to draw away the creatures to save their hides even though it looked to have not worked in their favor.

There was no thinking it through, yes it was a stupid move but she just knew he was still alive; leaving him in-charge she made sure they understood that they were not to move from that room before the girl slipped out from the sanctuary of the break room making sure the door latched before taking off towards the cells 

That was the only reason she was out there now- 

If there was even a small chance he was still alive; she had to save him 

Every little sound had her paranoid jumping at anything

Turning one corner only to dropping back instantly, she slipped under a desk as someone came running down the hallway holding her breath when something followed them seconds later, hearing the horrid screams and crunch of braking bones left her trembling and not moving until she was sure it was safe

when she finally crawled back out she had to avoid stepping in the fresh streaks of blood heading back in the direction it had come being so quiet when she noticed it was feeding in the open

They were multiplying in numbers from the looks of things making it harder to not worry she would never make it to the cell or back for the others

She took a slow deep breath waiting until it was distracted before shooting across her steps inaudible as she bolted silently getting down the next hall in no time, her hands shaking when she ducked into the cage just before something passed staying there for what felt like a lifetime hearing it slow then continue on its way, slipping out she went to the furthest enclosure seeing the puddles of blood on the floor 

She was near screaming when she saw a something move in one tiny nest; shooting forward she found the small curled up bundle safe and sleeping soundly under several blankets where they must have left him as if nothing was wrong, gathering him close to her chest she started kissing his cheeks whispering so softly as he yawned then dosed right back off ever the heavy sleeper as always “I’m sorry – I am sorry I didn’t find you sooner Sunshine – but it's okay now I- I’m going to get you out of here”

She may have been too late to save her six-month-old baby sister but she had managed to get to him; finding her bag where she left it she noiselessly dumping out the collection of treasures that it held before making a nest with a blanket placing the four-year-old inside with his torn up bear somewhat happy he was so small even for his age zipping it up leaving a tiny opening to let air in and out before heading down the passageways  

The darkness could hide anything and everything in that moment her body staying low to the floor as a growling came from the left stopping only long enough to be sure it wasn’t coming in her direction before peeking around the corner seeing the figure was halfway inside the room towards the middle of the offices bolting immediately careful to avoid any small objects that could give away the child’s presence 

All the training they put her through; all of them through didn’t seem like much of a burden now, even if the overseers had nearly killed her and the kids each day until they knew each and every torturous lesson by heart

The shadows were her friends, never trust anyone besides the ones in your group, protect the young at all cost, the silence of mouth and body was the key to living, and you screw up once no matter how small; you died-

If only the grown-ups had learned those lessons, they might have survived the attack

Her pale ice blue eyes searching everywhere unsure if anything else had escaped when the cells opened after the alarms started moments after entering her cell; as she made it to the halfway point all the girl was praying for was the slayers were still in the runs out on the yard and not roaming free looking for an easy meal

It was a bit of a journey, but relief flooded her body upon finally making it to the door when she heard a whimpered cry. 

Being locked up there; experiments were trained to not have fear raised to not know safety or the luxury of a secure home yet fear still welled up thinking the tiny life she had grabbed from enclosures was waking up immediately she started to make the soothing sounds again as she peaked in only to realize it wasn’t the child she had just saved 

He was gone to the world - probably dreaming some kind of sweet innocent imagination with kittens and candy in a field of flowers and stuffed animals

Looking to the left as the sound came again she saw her friend Arya cowering down a hallway waving her to hurry and follow her but the girl wouldn’t move leaned on the wall as if something was keeping her cornered

Arya wasn’t one to cower she wasn’t afraid of anything or anyone; coming from a powerful family who ran part of the city after leaving India at one point, she had been raised to be completely independent, of course, that had been before the chemical attack 

She was from money so the woman always dressed nicely; lots of colorful fabrics to her intricate silk dresses, golden chains, and jewelry adorned her hands, her long black hair shined it seemed no matter how little light and her honey tanned skin was something to marvel at coming from somebody who rarely saw the light of day other then through the bars of a small window if she could climb high enough

She had worked there for a little over a year as an apprentice under the superior but was still a kid for being sixteen; sometimes, on her breaks between the experiments, she had come to the containment cells to play with the babies and give food to the caregivers who were never old enough to request simple supplies from the guards but considered mature enough to care for the younger collections

Better than being a breeder, way better than being one of the carriers in any book

She had to be the strongest woman she had ever met yet right then - she looked petrified, her eyes darting from side to side like she didn’t see the small figure, slowly weighing the options and looked behind her being sure nobody had found them the girl slowly left the door her fingers brushing its smooth cold surface scurrying fast towards the woman something in her gut telling her this was wrong but she needed to get to her

She might be the only one who could get her out with the set she had gathered 

She called out under her breath continuing to remain hidden until she could tell the coast was clear, slowly inching out into the light calling out again a bit louder gaining the woman’s attention but when she looked at her she saw something wasn’t right in her eyes swallowing hard as dread settle in her gut knowing she had just ignored several of the rules that had been beaten into her system for years

The woman’s body drooped as she stood up when the girl stumbled back before a small smile lifted the pale lips of her friend, the brown eyes shifted to white and her tan skin took on a sickly gray color as she screeched out a horrid wail

She was a carrier- they had gotten her like all the others

Spinning on her heels the child rushed back down the hall as fast as she could; hearing the thing behind her closing in she made the next mistake of looking back and seeing it was getting closer, realizing now she would never make it to that door but knowing the boys were in there waiting for her screamed she had to unless she wanted them to die right here 

Reaching for her hip she grabbed the heavy firearm she had stolen from one of the guards bodies when she had entered the building through the vent hatch 

Having only wielded one in tactical training she had seen it used on many of the older test subjects that had gotten out of hand if they survived the slayers in the hunting grounds and knew if used right it could hurt anything-

It could kill if needed. 

The young girl didn’t even hesitate when she turned to pull the trigger shooting what used to be Arya between the eyes seeing her friend hit the floor motionless 

Panting and shaking she only turned as she heard the howling bouncing off the walls getting to the door as the body started after her again having gotten on its feet 

The door lock disengaged with the swipe of the keycard slamming the door fast behind her before two heavyweights slammed into it before looking down into her duffle as something squirmed around

The youngest of the boys gave a small cry making her shush him while laughing to herself unable at that moment to believe she had just outrun two creatures while turning to check on the older three before seeing several scientists in the room – and her kids gone 

The gun was loaded and aimed before they could move; growling under her breath not letting them close to her “WHERE ARE THEY!?!” one of the males had started towards her before she fired

It was at this moment she found a fun fact and untold part of the humans who kept them as guinea pigs, they didn’t get up when she shot them, an intern that had hurt her several times tried to grab her having been standing behind by the wall but he didn’t count on her strength

The men never did when it came to her small stature but add in her protective mommy gene of the kid's she loved she threw him to the floor showing no mercy in putting him down hence leaving an older woman and two girls who had to be in their early adultage standing closer to the walls, looking around her wild eyes landed on the three trembling boys along with an older male she had never seen in her time there but it was clear he had been made a pet

Only the higher-ups were allowed to have them

The guy defiantly looked older and was quite clearly not entirely human given the larger size, the white hair, coal-black eyes, and the twitch of furry ears also gave her a clue; also meaning he had to be 

significant if he had not been killed when he reached of age, like most mutants, once you hit the rebellious stage; you were put down for their entertainment unless you were useful 

and usually, that usefulness wasn’t held for long

Being the only one with a gun gave her the upper hand moving forward two of the women in lab coats moved huddling to the side as she checked the kids over; the second oldest was now awake and very much aware of his surroundings growling at the women his nose bleeding from being struck but had stayed protectively in front of the other two boys

Jillian; or rather the blood queen as she had heard the older woman called by the older experiments was somebody the girl knew well and probably the one who had hit the growling boy seeing as his wild eyes hadn’t left her, the wife to one of the higher-ups she had tormented her many times in the darkroom and it was clear by her stance she still thought she had control over the subjects ordering the small girl to give her the weapon

All it got was her holding it higher as the boys pulled the baby from her bag keeping the youngest protectively in the middle of them as the girl drew back the slide; not wavering in her stance to keep her away until she backed down not too happy a freak was defying her orders

She didn’t show it but she was freaking out knowing there was no way to safely get out with the woman and her assistants in the way; going out that door would possibly result in one of them probably shutting her out either without the supplies or the kids, they couldn’t go back the other way without being ripped limb from limb 

Slowly reaching down, she set to undoing the collar around the teenager's neck hoping he wasn’t loyal to the woman; letting it drop to the smooth tiles giving him a small reassuring look before she was tending to the kids once more

Her hand was instantly lifting the darkest of the fours little chin looking him over, taking notice he was going to have a black eye; ripping her tattered gown the girl took great care in gently wiping the blood from his cut face, her cold hands cradling his cheek looking up to see the hard gaze he was giving her, it only made a smile break the corner of her lips knowing the look was not for him being angry towards her it was just the only expression he knew at this age 

This life hadn’t shown him how to smile but getting out had the hopes of that changing soon

Kissing his head the younger mutant shifted nuzzled into her arms, clinging tightly to the female; something he never did around the others nestling into her soft chest while mumbling roughly under his breath they thought she was dead, his voice was so low she was the only one who heard it making reassurances spew from her lips

She wouldn’t die when they needed her

She had to get them out of there and soon this place wasn’t safe at all looking back seeing one of the women knowing she was much kinder when nobody was around understanding kindness wasn’t accepted in this world but it made them trust her a bit more then they were comfortable with 

She had been nuzzling the boys assuring them it was all going to be okay when the male growled threateningly, attempting to push her behind him only to yelp as he was struck with a long stick being rectified for daring to snarl at his master, the girl stiffened pushing the kids back as the elder grabbed her by the hair yanking her away from them trying to grasp for the weapon

The pained cry that left the girl as she tried to escape resulted in the older woman getting her hand cut by the quiet boy looking over finding something she had not seen until now, yet he had to have been holding it the whole time 

A scalpel with a towel wrapped around the broken end he was clutching in his grasp; going for the most damage to make the woman drop their guardian 

the stick she had been clutching swiped at him catching him across the eye hearing the quiet boy yell out in pain; lowering to the ground holding his face as the teen yanked him back a bit too late

The distraction gave the young girl a chance to move even as she was almost grabbed again, feeling the hand tangling in her hair as she started to fall back made her lift the heavy pistol firing without ever looking up than hearing the pained scream as the boys grabbed onto her

The evil woman went down her leg bleeding from the bullet wound, but before another sound could leave her lips the wolf kid was on her; his now sharpened fangs sunk into her open neck, snarling like a wild animal ripping into pray as she screeched for help making the girl scramble keeping the boys from looking as he tore into his master staying over her until the woman stopped moving permanently 

The cold black eyes slowly came up until they were on the silver-haired girl as blood marred his jaws dripping to the floor in thick streams from his now soaked face; none of the children moved as she pushed them behind her when he moved forward, her breath gone from her lungs realizing what she hadn’t before losing her grip on the gun as her hands shook finding a small hand clutching hers the second the metal hit the floor

He was part slayer 

The male sat back down where he had been before not even remotely phased by his actions or bothered by her sudden fear of him leaning in he started nudging her shoulder much like a dog wanting pets and licking her cheek but didn’t speak as he leaned on her making her swallow down the terror gently placing her hand on his head rubbing behind his ears before looking back as the baby boy crawled over them to lay in the males lap giggling as he played with the fluffy tail that wrapped around his hip

If the youngest trusted him it was a sign they could relax her little sunshine had a great choice of characters but she was still on edge; having never been this close to one of the executioners and not almost been ripped apart picking up a shredded cloth she had dropped cleaning his face as he laid his head in her hands licking at her fingers 

Both of the women still standing there looked pale, the blond must have been new and not used to the carnage or had to be a lab tech in the lower building floors, but the other knew; she had seen it been forced to watch it as the young ones were tortured or killed during experiments moving slowly towards the door looking in the two heavily stocked creates of any food the female child could find her eyes lingering on the tiny bundle before starting towards the kids 

The gun barely stop her from approaching as she kneeled carefully pushing it to the side; shushing them as she looked over the six lives knowing what needed to be done before glancing at the other woman making up her mind “We have to go – run as far as we can before that door gives” 

“We will never make it out of the city on foot! Beth; that is suicide we’ll be killed-” the other woman tried to speak up but was quickly silenced as her colleague got to her feet 

Running over to the cabinets unlocking them with her key and pulling everything out “Chelsea; if we stay here we will die either by whatever they unleashed from the lab in that meeting or the boss when he realizes they escaped – I really don’t want to die..." placing it all on the counters in front of her; tossing the boxes on the floor after accumulating anything of use making smaller care packs that would reduce their load then stuffing it in a backpack after pulling out a change of clothes instructing the girl to put them on "Look we get the kids out, nobody will know it was us Everyone here is dead, we aren’t on the clock… we can finally get away from here and away from him-”

Weighing the options for a second longer realizing her friend was right again; the blond finally nodded moving over towards the huddled up kids giving them the blankets and picking up the duffle before helping the other woman pack up medical supplies, stuffing both of their computers in her side pack grabbing anything worth taking including the deceased woman's bag before sneaking over to the door barely pushing it open to look out noticing the outside was clear and that a vehicle was right there 

“We need to get all of this in the truck – Kids go last” the risk of going out now was higher given it was still light out but since she had parked the truck almost against the building it was going to be easy to load the stuff without being seen

“Beth – what if they got outside?”

That had been the whole reason for waiting until nightfall for the girl; in the darkness, she could hide easily but in daylight, she had no chance in hell “We have to take that risk – look just pop one door carefully, it will block you from being seen by the yard the metal door will cover your other side” once the supplies were ready to go the other woman was there helping climbing in the back she pulled it in further as Chelsea placed it in the van peaking around the door whenever she heard a noise being sure nobody had arrived to clear the building before finally placing the last create inside the back “Get the kids I’ll start the engine”

Looking behind her she noticed the kids waiting together; the girl keeping them in front of her after bandaging up the wound over the oldest mutants eye grateful it was just a fleshwound as the teenage boy staying a few feet back watching the metal door tensely; the youngest was clinging onto the eldest boy who scooped him up once she was waving him forward picking both up with ease pointing for him to get in a seat 

The girl shooed the other two forward just as something hit the door behind them hard, bending the metal in almost too easily the teen pushing them forward fast to load the kids in quicker

The youngest female crawled forward when she was shoved inside the van roughly, getting the kids strapped in after placing the cardboard casket beside her before hearing a feral snarl near the back looking out the tinted window seeing a huge fur-covered form before panic filled the woman’s face when a large clawed hand grabbed the side of the door trying to force it forward as she held it tight crying out in fear

“Get her in now!” she moved to help just as the teenager went to pull the woman inside only to see her yanked from his grasp and ripped under the side door having to grab him so he wouldn’t be pulled out too.

The agonizing screams as she begged for help echoed around them before hearing the slayer ripping into her, cringing at the gut-twisting sounds the wolf boy slammed the door before whatever was outside could come back just as the metal door in the room came crashing inward

A horrid screech shook the air before something smashed into the back door yelling for the woman Beth to drive before the truck was peeling out of the institution.

None of them dared to look back, keeping their heads down as she crashed through the gates speeding away from their prison into the barren streets rushing to now escape New York. 

She looked to the kids who instantly reached for her as sunlight flashed into the cab, her eyes momentarily closing from not being used to the brightness that met them.

When she looked back up the half slayer boy was crawling forward. favoring his right arm that was bleeding from several deep scratch marks

Ultimately he had managed to tear his eyes from the massacre on the streets; it was made clear the creatures had gotten out into the city.

She tried to shift going to assess his wounds yet he just curled into her lap as she sat on the floor between the seats so she could see each of the boys.

The last thing she remembered was warmth surrounding her as she leaned on a seat, instantly too tired to hold her head up any longer, then feeling one of the kids petting her hair as passing out

  Let me know what you think and when posted Part two will fill in the blanks and introduce you to the new creepy world!

[esterphania]

Gling!Gling!Gling!

This sound keeps on resonating through the colony ,I don't know what making them ring the bell at this time of the day ,such an early hour 😔, oh no ! I know why it's been rang it's because today is the day all young mermaid are to come out for the race before hunting activities begin we do this once every month .I just want to sleep 😴 and cover my ears with the pillows but that's impossible since they are going to still check round all the house for us or wait 🤨 is the colony under attack that's why the bell is been rang so that everyone can come out to fight 😕 this makes me shoot my eyes open to start looking for where to hide as I can't fight for my self I can at least look for how to stay alive .

Am not like every other mermaid 🧜🏽‍♀️ am weak ,slow ,I can't make wave or create storms ,etcetera 🤔who even does that here Lol 😂 but still I can't do anything for my self so I should definitely hide before they get here 😰

Mummy,what about mum ,what do I do I can't go out to look for her I'll die before I make it to any where by now my head has started feeling so heavy I couldn't just get the picture of mom been killed right in front of me ,my hands started shaking I could feel the tears threatening to drop from my eyes 😑😭 why does this always have to happen to me .I have been having this anxiety attack and ptsd as well since when I was a kid ,no,no,no,I can't start thinking of this things I have to go get mum I just have to ,I tried moving but couldn't get my feet or body too as I applied more force I felt my strength dissipate and my eye lids close gradually as I accept the darkness that's comes with it .

"Ada ,Ada,Ada, wake up , wake up baby ,you need to go for the race ,darling wake up you are scaring me "I heard my mum say as I gently open my eyes to find my mum looking at me with worry written all over her face ,I could have sworn she had called my name more than 20 times before I woke up ,

"oh mum ,my sweet mum"I say as I hug her in a rush thanking the water Goddess for keeping my mum alive for me

"Ada ,...Adaobi, what's wrong baby are you okay ?." Mum says as she pulls me out of my daze

"yes mum am fine ,I couldn't be more better "I said to my mum mentally cursing my self for worrying her that much then it me ' the race 'am going to be late and that's if I aren't already late I wonder how many hours I was out for shit I cursed again .

"Ada prepare for the race you have twenty minutes to get out of this house and show them how strong you are " mum said knowing fully well that I was so impotent to do that 😓but still she has faith in me

"Alright mum I'll be down in a sec ,you really know I have to stop going since I haven't made any improvement since then "I said with a worried look on my face "but I'll be down soon never mind ,so no if you don't mind can you leave my room so I can get dress up ,thanks " I said as I gave mum a kiss on her cheeks

As soon as mum shut the door behind her I feel to the bed out of exhaustion am so tired of this stuff

FLASHBACK

The coach was asking all of the racers to a queue for more co-ordinance and here I was just staying in a corner as always . Coach is a man in his late forties ,it seems like he was well structured by the water goddess as he has a handsome face for a man his age with prominent jaws ,small pinky lips and attractive dimples many unmarried mermaids often go after him seeing as his wife passed away leaving him and his two children James and Julia martins and ever since then he has refused to get married .

Coach has always been one of the three people who have been nice to me although he shows it more privately than publicly ,according to him people find fault with what ever I do I'm and he won't want them reading meaning into what doesn't have a meaning although I don't care 🤷‍♀️ or maybe I do care but what can I do 😩.

Well as for his race I don't even know what an doing here ,this race takes place every month on the day which there is a storm ,not the very very troubling storms ,just the light ones as we are still young stars ,I always lose the race because I'm slow and can't challenge my self to do anything .All of my pair are better than me ,I'm ten years old now and am still as incapable as a three year old child I just pray he doesn't remember to call me .Just as I am liking my wounds I begin to hear my name from a distance

"Adaobi,come join them for the race "I felt like swearing at myself as I walk to join the others ,I mean who knows that the mind is powerful as well I thought it was just the tongue that's powerful what a mess 😪.i have never won this race before neither have I gotten between the 1st to 15th people who has been wining since I was five ,so I cant definitely win this. I'm just been put here to be the laughingstock of the community again so here I go as coach blows the third whistle ,the race begins and every one has started swimming they are so very fast and I'm still so slow .

The race is to go around the temple of the mermaids and back to the starting points before the time is up every time I pass there it seems like there's more to it although I can't quite figure it out but this time around as I passing the temple something begins to call me ,to draw my attention to check it out ,to open it , to be honest no one has been able to open the doors to the temple talk less of cracking. It was so real right here at the side of the temple As a noise begin to rise its tempo in my hears I recognized it as clattering sounds of plates and dishes and then cries then it starts to make me slow down making me want to pass out there then am sure there was something being said between all of this but I could hear it as I was almost out because of fear ,then before I know it all I begin to hear is run ,run Adaobi run ,of possible fast ways I could think of swimming nothing came through .I just did the only thing I could that was to swim as fast as I possible could to get out of there .

I got to the finishing point where I began seeing people again before my heartbeat subsided and I realize that everyone was looking at me which face of a WOW and question of 'what was pursuing you 'then I turned to the board to find out that I came in as the fifth person in the competition I couldn't believe it ,isn't it I who had never gotten past twenty second in the race is now the fifth .

I was over joyed ,confused but still happy 😆 because then I began to think that I had hope that I wasn't useless at all just then I took a look at my clothes and I think everyone had started seeing it too and started laughing at me.Well at the end even though I passed that day I never passed again which still means that no one recognized me as a winner that month they all still laughed at me .

FLASHBACK OVER

So now since that one time i thought I won till now that I'm eighteen years old I still haven't won at all am still the slowest amongst the set of people am competing with as my pairs have all graduated to another level of train about two years ago but I still continue going on my mother's request and yes if your asking whether the noise continues then I'll be glad to say 'NO big 'NO' but oops who knows what today will bring .

[donaldduckau]

Uncanny resemblance Au

This au is inspired by transdonaldduck art so check her work if wanted to

In this Au, Donald starts to look like scrooge whilst raising the triplets.

Donald was in his houseboat looking at his sisters eggs whom she disappeared for whilst thinking about his uncles actions. He couldn't believe scrooge built that rocket when he told him was too risky to take but he still bluilt it, didn't he think Della would find it after all she literally finds everything especially things that for her. He didn't have time to hang around no he had to buy cribs,toys among other items for the triplets as he wasn't going to go back to scrooge's.

Donald goes to the back of the houseboat entering door that housed all the treasures he collected on his travels. He sorts through the items from gems, totems, coins even books listing the values of them, a skill he develop from listening to his uncle all the time. Donald takes the eggs to someone he trusts to not tell scrooge, Daisy duck his sister in law from the triplets father side. Donald knocks on her door, it's few minutes before daisy answers "hello what can I do? Donald omg ate they my nephews" taking a egg as she shows him in her house. Donald and daisy are sitting on couch as Donald asks her to watch the eggs " can you watch them for me for two or one day please daisy " daisy doesn't hesitate to reply " yes Donald but why not scrooge " Donald doesn't look her in the eye "I got some things to sell" understanding what he means she gently replies "okay" letting him out to do what he needs to do.

Donald goes back to his houseboat collecting all the coins he's collected from his journeys. Donald travels around duckburg entering all the coin experts stores remembering the prices before entering the one that gave the highest amount. Donald does the same for the gems going through the various experts on gems before selling each gem to the store that gave highest amount for each type of gem. It's takes longer to sell the books as books are in another language so it takes while before he manages to sell all the books leaving the easiest items, Donald knows no one but a few will no the values of these items but people like his uncle so he starts walking towards glumgolds company,

Donald enters glumgold building that easy to recognise by the massive image of glumgold face on the top of the building. Donald walks towards the desk " I need to see glumgold" the receptionist apologises " sorry sir but glumgold busy" Donald kindly tells her " I'm scrooge McDucks nephew I think he want to see me, my name donsld" the receptionist buzzs a button " sir a duck claiming to be scrooge McDucks nephew Donald is here to see you " it answers back " bring him to office now " the receptionist guides Donald towards Glumgold office.

Inside glumgold office."so what brings scrooge nephew to my office" looking at the bag Donald carrying. Donald uses glumgold rivalry with his uncle to his advantage. " Simple I want to sell these to you " laying the items for glumgold to see. " after all these are worth some money, scrooge nephew selling it to you not him I wonder what he do when he finds out" glumgold smirks "you got a deal laddie here take ***********" Donald leaves the room hearing glumgold laughing.

Donald goes to a baby store, buying a crib and draws for his nephews among colour coded clothes for the three yet to be hatched ducklings finishing with paint for the room. Donald arrives at the houseboat entering his once treasure room to now boys room, he cleans the floor and paints the walls white after a hour the walls are dry. He repaints the walls red, blue and green on wall each leaving that to dry, once the paint dry he starts assembly the crib. He places it towards the north side whilst the east side is the draws and he's finished .

Donald starts to place the money he got left from the sold treasures for the boys college fund. Donald starts walk to daisy as he enjoyong the peace and quiet. Donald looks at some windows stores for toys for the unhatched triplets and notices book on display one that being sold cheaper than its worth and having nothing for himself decides to buy it. Donald enters the store picking up the book buying it as he walks out a women speaks behind him "that's rare book you have I say it's worth" before she could finish Donald says the value. The women starts starts saying items and he says the value until she gives him a card "if you want a job as a antique seller just call" before walking away. Leaving Donald confused.

Donald arrives at daisy place and thanking her,she offers to watch them anytime she can, Donald will remember this as he leaves carrying the eggs "thanks daisy"

Donald calls the lady about the job as she was expecting . the women starts training Donald on how to notice fakes and real items whilst training Donald on how to sell items and buying, Donald starts to find the work fun and hes able to leave the hatched duckling whom he named hubert , dewford and lleweyln with daisy when he can. its not the job he saw himself doing but for them he stick with it.

Years pass by as the triplets grow, Donald starts a company of selling an antigues that's quiet successful that required or chosen to wear glasses to show the details on items better. Donald starts to wear suits more to be respected by possible sellers of buys as he learnt you got look respective to be successful adding a cane for touch.he still lives on his houseboat.

Donald was starting to dress for work as he noticed Louie and Huey were hanging around him getting suspicious he firmly asks them " why are you hanging around I thought you huey would try reading you guide book whilst you Louie be on your phone " Louie and huey stare at each other before replying " we were going tell your late as the clocks went head a hour" Donald starts to rush knowing they lying, he grabs Louie and huey before asking "where's dewey" turning his head hearing towards the staring wheel where dewey was most every time. Dewey excitedly says " just this wire then adventure waits" before turning his head hearing his uncle "no adventure for you but a grounding dewey" Donald picks Dewey up as he places him in his car next to Louie and then he hears his houseboat explodes. Sighing Donald calls daisy " daisy can you to take the triplets for today something happen" daisy on the other side apologises " sorry Donald I just got story that I got to leave for" ending the call. Donald places a hand on his head as he calls her the last person he knows or trust to take care of the triplets, ms Bearley whom accepts his request.

Outside Scooge gates, Donald exits his car , buzzing the button informing that Beakley he was there before the gates could open his uncle arrives. Donald walks to his uncle stiffly speaking "Uncle Scrooge" scrooge shocked relies "Donald "acting if he recognised his nephew who looks like a younger version of himself. Donald hears the triplets get excited about this development before asking scrooge "your looking good" with scrooge replies "still live on that boat" gaining a reply "still a billionaire scrooge points his cane towards the gates Donald turns his head at the direct pointed. "So" "so" scrooge angry orders " get that deadbeat joelumpy off my drive way" Donald replies "so you think your richest duck in the world" scrooge replies " I am the richest duck in the world Now move " Donald replies "Just as it happens I have business deal to go to" scrooge asks "why you here then " Donald replies "ms Beakley said you watch the boys so can you watch them " scrooge replies "of course I can" Donald starts walking towards the car rolling his eyes " thank youu soon much " scrooge pride fully says " your welcome Wait? What now" Donald starts introduce the boys to scrooge "huey, dewey and louie remember no no lies , no lies no trouble" the boys sweetly say "yes Donald " Donald stares scrooge "I wasn't talking about you" before leaving the triplets with scrooge the towards the business deal with glumgold.

[justcallmemav]

7/20/18

--------------------------

Pt.20

--------------------------

“You didn't get along with her, so this shouldn't be affecting you this bad.”

(She saw how you treated me and wanted to adopt me.)

“You trust people too easy, girl.”

( I had known him for 13 years. I built that trust. )

“You put yourself in this situation.”

( I didn't ask for it.)

“I never liked him anyways, trash grew legs and took itself out.”

(I loved him for five years.)

▪▪   ·I love you, mom. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted me to be.

---

▪▪   ·I'm at work I'll message you when I'm off. Ly2.

---

▪▪   ·I could use a call right now.

---

▪▪  ·Can't talk right now, will call tomorrow. You'll be fine for a day.

--------------------------------------------------

▪  You're my best friend. I love you. I can't take it anymore.

---------

▪   I think this is it.

--------------------------------------------------

▪▪▪  Thank you for always loving me unconditionally. You're the greatest sister anyone could ask for. I love you. You're better off without me.

--------------------------------------------------

      You came to visit me two days after i was taken into the hospital on july 20th at 9 o'clock at night.

      I was drinking an excessive amount within the matter of two hours.

     Within the last few minutes of the second hour, I saw the walls of the world around me collapsing.

This is it.

I have nothing left.

     My mind wouldn't rest. I took a xanax but it didn't help ease my mind.

     It sure couldn't mend my broken heart.

                  This was the last time.

It didn't work before.

           It has to work now.

                          So I begged, and I cried.

I prayed to a God I wasn't even sure existed.

Please take me now.

        I want to come home.

                      I think I'm ready now.

JUST TAKE ME NOW. I AM READY. PLEASE FUCKING TAKE ME. I'M READY.

      I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I made the choice to give into my thoughts and my depression. I made the choice to finalize this shit I consider living. This existence. This truly was it. This is the end.

      I let my hands trace their way to my fate. To my drawer. Opening the pill bottle. Where the palm of my hand met my lips to fill my mouth with what I knew would make everything better soon. Next thing I know, my body was lured to the bottle of vodka as it stands at the end of the bed. I wrap my fingers tight around the neck of the bottle, lips to the glass. Down the hatch and into the rabbit hole I go. I feel my body spiral. Down...down...down...down…

                      Boom

                         So bitter.

                        Yet so good.

Was this the only way i could be happy again?

I will reach the numbness I yearn to undergo.

I've heard the rumors.

Does it seem as free as they say?

            Then along came the thump.

                       ALAS~

Nothingness.

Darkness. No voices, no pain, no criticism. Just the echoes of my heart beat.

Thump.. Thump….. Thump….

After what felt like days… the darkness fades steadily. The numbness dissolves like ice through my fingertips.

               Off in the distance I hear something. A cry? A car? A siren? A siren.

I struggle to come to consciousness.

                 I find it nearly impossible.

Then out of the blue, I hear a voice.

                A voice so faint and familiar.

After some time, I can open my eyes half way as I slip back into consciousness.

My vision is hazy. I managed to come to when I hear her voice.

“Cayley, there's some people here who need you to get up and come outside. They need to check on you.”

I see the pigments from the lights spinning on their vehicles, bouncing off of the brick walls on the outside of my home, but it's all blurry.

       I struggled to stand as I stepped through my threshold to go outside.

Who needs to talk to me? About what? Why?

I look up and see two policemen and a paramedic. I begin to hyperventilate.

“Is my dad okay?”

Ma'am, we received a call stating that you may be a harm to yourself, so I ask that you don't resist help. Are you able to follow us to the back of the ambulance, ma'am?

·I haven't done anything and I'm not a harm to myself.

·For your own safety we need to make sure that's true. We can't take risks, miss.

·I'm sorry, please ma'am let go of my arm, I don't need help. GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME I AM FINE.

I hear my father talking to the police officer but couldn't make out what they were saying over dad's coworker crying and all of the sounds around me. I panicked. I heard my dad speaking once more, only this time it was directed at me.

He asked me three things.

“CAYLEY BABY WHAT’D YOU DO?”

“WHAT DID YOU TAKE?”

My hearing began to fade slowly, as I focused on the ringing gradually developing in my head. I could ever so slightly hear the walkie talkies and daddys office keys jingling in his pocket. I heard Sues charm bracelet that she loves so much.

I felt my heartbeat through my chest, as if it was trying to escape. I feel my heart rate descend,  I look up to see what was around me. Everyone was there.

I saw my father crying and shaking.

 I saw his girlfriend crying.

    I saw my father's coworker crying.

          I was embarrassed.

Yet, too weak to care.

I muttered to the medic under my breath;

“I'm ready to go. Ma'am please take me.”

I collapse, but the woman was quick to catch me. She definitely had motherly instincts. Not even 2 seconds after i collapsed, I lose consciousness.

          I woke up in the back of an ambulance. I'm being hovered by two men with papers on clipboards and the medic who stopped me from busting my ass on concrete. They're bombarding me with questions and demands.

“Your oxygen levels are low, ma'am. I need you to inhale and exhale on ten. The oxygen being distributed through the tubes in your nostrils is a bit cold. Just a fair warning. Are you physically capable of removing your tunnels, lip piercing, your engagement ring, and whatever else pierced or on your person that could be a threat to yourself of me?”

“Do I have to take off my ring?”

“Yes ma'am, unfortunately it's code. We'll put it in this bag. It will stay unbothered. Please remove your piercings.”

Shortly after I began hyperventilating because I couldn't stop crying, and boom.

All consciousness was lost.

How could I harm anyone with a ring?

She should have been patient, anyways.

~Don't rush me.~

       You asked me why I did it. It took you two days, it took my father less than 60 seconds to get to me when he saw the ambulance at the door.

       You took 48 hours to muster the pride to visit me, and when you did, you showed no emotion at all. You hugged me that day and I felt no love.

        I was barely aware of what was going on, yet I somehow sensed tension coming from your end. As if you were forcing yourself to care when deep down you knew you didn't.

I felt like I was being smothered by a well maintained, ‘JLo Glo’ scented greeting mat.

          Even when I was much younger and you would stay in and drink, you'd hug me and I felt this giant strange force field of motherly love surrounding me, if that makes any sense. There was a step by step process of your home drunk persona and it went the same way every time.. but I'll get to that in a moment.

    Anyways, I'm still thankful you showed. Even two days late. You had me slightly convinced that you actually cared.

ALMOST. I was informed of the insensitive remarks you made to my father about me.  You really had the audacity to turn around and say I was wanting everyone to be worried about CAYLEY because ‘everything has to be about CAYLEY and CAYLEY was just looking for attention'.

         Like I didn't come home from school and take two steps through the threshold only to see you crying because you got dumped. You threatened to end your life. (Because you loved this man so much. The man you are with now. 9 years later. The man you use for money. Whom you cheat on)  Me and your biological daughter took you and admitted you.

         I felt like i betrayed you, but i needed you to be alive. For...whatever reason. I guess cos y'know.. a 12 year old needs a parent. You came home and the meds they gave you calmed you down, but you liked that too much. You quickly became dependent, actually you still are. You contradict yourself too often.

         Don't you remember what I have been put through..? By you, mostly. You were and still are so hypocritical that it makes me chuckle. Sigh- anyways, I couldn't fully comprehend anything you said during our visit. I couldn't gather the energy to move nor look at you, let alone reply to your bullshit motherhood quotes.

        You left when the time was up, two weeks go by in a blur still ever so slowly, and they transfer me. People were able to reach out to me. A handful of people I love and cherish which includes my sister, my father, his girlfriend... the woman who has been more of a mother to me than you ever were.

       It didn't take much time after me being in that God forsaken inpatient facility for me to be pulled aside by a nurse in a confidential manner. My brain threw around every possible reason as to why she was doing this.

--------------------------------------------------

Am I going home?

Are they moving me again?

What did I do wrong?

--------------------------------------------------

  ~ Nothing, stop with the assumptions~

    She informed me that I had received multiple calls from a woman saying she is my mother but she couldn't pass it through because another woman, who ALSO claimed to be my parent/caregiver, had requested that this number (she was giving me )go on a restricted no contact list. She handed me a sheet of paper with with a number on it. Buttttt, it wasn't yours. So I had no idea what was going on. Who's my caregiver? Did my sister put you on the no call list? Nope. It wasn't your number and you never do wrong, so you denied having anything to do with that whole thing. I decided to call the number while the addiction groups were in the other room. I had no reason to be there so I had time to meditate, draw, socialize, or find out who was on the other end of that phone line.

It's obvious what I chose.

It took a few tries until someone finally answered. When they did I felt like an idiot. How could I not know.

You hated her because of how hard she tried to see me and my siblings. You had so many hateful things to say about her, yet no validation. It made you angrier when you told us about her then made her out to be a bad guy and we still got in touch with her. You hated that, didn't you. You hated it because the truth was going to come out if we found her.

Lady, I met my real mother when i was 11 years old. That was the day my father bought my favorite hat… a black fedora with a blue stripe inside of a purple stripe in the middle (which I still own). I was wearing this black shirt with a red graphic design on the front and back that was WAY too baggy on me and a pair of cuffed blue jeans, I do believe. It's been eight years, I have great memory but I'm not special like that.

If it weren't for daddy, my sister, and my brother... I would've never known who she was. Well, when I finally got ahold of my biological mother on the phone the day after I received the number by the nurse… she was genuinely upset. She said one thing that will stick to my brain for the rest of my life.

“I lost you once I can't lose you again”

You won't have to.