#I saw a tiktok about it earlier

[spaceoutdreamer]

Garçon - Koxie

In French, ç is pronounced as a ss sound while a regular c is (usually) a k sound. "Con" means dickhead, "gare" (in this context) means watch out. Basically, this song uses a pun that can't really be translated.

Earlier, I was driving on my scooter in Paris From a car, at the red light, some guy tells me "Hey ma'am, what time is it ?" I answer "12 pm" He tells me "Hey ma'am, you're crazy hot, how about you give me a lil treat ?" His buddies laugh, I didn't understand at the time. I say "Hey dude, you don't speak to people that way, you wouldn't like people talking to your mother that way." The dude looks at me with a guard doig's face and goes "Ayo, don't talk about my mom or I'll fuck you up" I answer "Calm down Alphonse. I don't know you, you attack me, what's up with that lack of finesse ? Nobody told you to treat women like princesses ?" He goes "Yeah, fuck you !" I tell him "You're not, that's where the issue lays"

Did you know that if you take the cedilla out of of garçon, you're left with garcon, and watch out for dickheads girl, watch out for dickheads Watch out for dickheads, watch our for dickheads that lose their cedillas If you take the cedilla out of of garçon, you're left with garcon, and watch out for dickheads girl, watch out for dickheads Watch out for dickheads, watch our for dickheads that lose their cedillas

I go my way, next light I hear "Hey slut, I can take you whenever !" Yet again it's Alphonse with his stupid face I tell him "Come on, you're digging your own grave, that's cringe. Can't believe you dude, get real ! You think you're Tony Montana, you don't even have pubes." He says "Stop being crass, see where I'm gonna put it in" "You're calling me crass ? Talk about pots and kettles. What a joke. Who do you think you are ? Stop that now" I get off, he gets off, I tell him "Your head's a mess. What are you gonna do now ? Aren't you in a situation. I want an apology, I'm waiting, and I'm not leaving without it." He tells me "No, YOU apologise you crazy witch" "That's a good one, I gave you the time, I shouldn't have bothered"

Did you know that if you take the cedilla out of of garçon, you're left with garcon, and watch out for dickheads girl, watch out for dickheads Watch out for dickheads, watch our for dickheads that lose their cedillas If you take the cedilla out of of garçon, you're left with garcon, and watch out for dickheads girl, watch out for dickheads Watch out for dickheads, watch our for dickheads that lose their cedillas

Here's how some boys talk. How shameful. They deserve a good talking to. Wanna play ? Let's play I tell him "Take your pants off. Lots of talking, not a lot of doing You asked me for a blowjob." Suddenly Alphonse snaps out of it. He stands down and tells me "Ok, fine, leave me alone, sorry." I tell him "Good, you look less stupid. Talking to women that way isn't normal There's a serious education issue. And even so, I'm sure you're not such a bad guy." He tells me "You're right, I feel stupid ! My buddies are pressuring me !" I tell him "Ok, no need to cry !" That's the last thing I needed Alphonse breaks down in my arms I tell him "You look like you need some loving. Come here, give auntie a kiss"

Did you know that if you take the cedilla out of of garçon, you're left with garcon, and watch out for dickheads girl, watch out for dickheads Watch out for dickheads, watch our for dickheads that lose their cedillas If you take the cedilla out of of garçon, you're left with garcon, and watch out for dickheads girl, watch out for dickheads Watch out for dickheads, watch our for dickheads that lose their cedillas

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

pure fluff, fem reader, not proofread, katsuki really likes the way you smell, talks of marriage, katsuki being an absolute demon, biting bc is it rlly a cash fic if it doesn’t involve katsuki biting us ? lemme know if i missed sum else <3

a.n.: ..so this came to me in the middle of the night and i had to write it down before i forgot about it…please do not perceive me🫶🏾

katsuki keeps sniffing at your wrist.

for some reason, he keeps bringing your palm towards his face and you imagined he’d kiss it if he was feeling a little sweeter than usual or he’d bite your finger if he was feeling like a little shit.

imagine your surprise when instead, he just sniffs you and goes right back to watching tv.

he does it for the fifth time in the span of a few seconds and you turn your head that was smooshed into his chest staring at the tv to stare at him with a brow raised.

“katsuki.” he only grunts in response, nose pressed to your pulse point. a deep, grumbled noise comes from the deepest part of his chest when you try to pull your arm out of his grip.

“quit squirmin’. ”

“katsuki !” you squeal, giggling. katsuki grunts into your skin, pulling your hand closer to his face.

“what’re you doing ?” you chirp.

“ya smell like somethin’” is all he offers you for a response, your lip pulls up in confusion. you tilt your head.

“like what ?”

“i dunno, s’like—” he cuts himself off, pulls your hand away from his face to stare up at the ceiling in thought, only to bring it back to his nose.

you can’t help laughing at his behavior “ like what ?” you urge.

“different.” he settles “this some new perfume or somethin’ ?” he asks seriously, lifting himself up so he can sit up against the couch cushion and you follow, no longer laying but sitting up in his lap.

“not really, it’s this new body wash i found at the mall !” katsuki grunts in acknowledgment “was walking around with a friend and she recommended it to me, so i figured i’d give it a shot.” you explain.

“smells good right ?” you ask excitedly. katsuki damn near growls at your wrist, then he drops it and stuffs his head into your shoulder, wrapping his arms around you tightly like he’s trying to squeeze you to death, pulling you closer to him.

“so fuckin’ good.” he rumbles, the way his voice deepens has shivers going down your spine and has you impossibly giddy.

“what soap is that ? need ta stock up on it.”

you roll your eyes “so you can steal it from me ? no thank you.”

“m’ your boyfriend, you’re s’posed to share with me. what’s that saying? what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours ?” his voice is smushed against the fabric of your clothes because he can’t stay away from your skin for more than three seconds, going back for whiffs like an addict. you wrap your arms around him with a snort.

“isn’t that saying usually for married couples ? we’re not married.”

“yet.”

your heartbeat quickens and you feel your skin prickle and go hot at how casually he uttered the word. you play around with the hairs on his nape.

“..yet” you utter quietly. his nose is pressed against your addams apple, deeming it his new favorite spot to sniff at you like a dog. “so until then, my secret stays with me.”

“tch, stingy woman.” he scoffs “might have to marry you sooner than i thought.” he smirks.

you move to shove your head into his shoulder in embarrassment and he straight up laughs, the asshole. you’d be angry if you weren’t as in love with him as you were in this very moment.

“oi, i told you to quit squirming.” he jests.

“katsukiii !” you whine. he only chuckles, greatly enjoying the way he’s tormenting you.

“what ?” he snorts, his nose is pressed to your shoulder “don’t act brand new, you knew i was gonna marry you.”

“this is bullying.” he barks out a loud laugh at your flustered response.

“me puttin’ a ring on that fuckin—” he grabs your hand again and presses his lips to your ring finger “divine smellin’ finger of yours is bullying ?” he chuckles.

“you’re so weird.” you can’t help the smile that grows against his shoulder and he feels it too, the smirk against your finger only grows.

“right back atcha.” he snickers, then bites into your shoulder like he’s trying to take a chunk out of you.

“ouch ! katsuki !” you yelp, smacking his back lightly, all he does is snicker like the evil motherfucker he is.

“sorry, baby.” he apologizes but you can hear in the teasing lilt in his voice he regrets absolutely nothing “ ya smell so good i couldn’t help it.”

a.n. : i actually don’t know if that saying is usually for married couples but pls ignore it for plot sake thx 🤞🏽💓

[turtally-tubular]

guys if you’re gonna address kids for being uneducated about a certain topic maybe dont be overly hostile to them and being like “oh you dumb fucking minors stupid kids” and overall just being super ageist/childist/whatever word you wanna use instead of kindly educating them thanksss

[whywoulditho]

[johnsspacesuittight]

Question, to really anyone but especially to my fellow autistics, do y’all ever pretend not to remember something you do remember? I’m known for being good at remembering but I also don’t want to seem weird and know too much, and I’m terrified of getting stuff wrong so even though I know it I’ll just pretend I don’t remember it Just In Case it was wrong after all

[luvinmads]

have you ever saw a picture of an old man and suddenly go like cLAP CLAP CLAP GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT

[marginal-effect]

still trying to figure out exactly where the line is between 'youre just getting old and cynical' and 'things really are just this bad' within my psyche. bc lets be real shit is fucked. off topic but this guy has been revving his motorcycle in the parking lot for the last 10 minutes and i think this might be the final straw before just i do it lol

[milfygerard]

tayvis is so funny to me as a lesbian bc i find travis so visually unappealing as a man and i find heterosexual relationships generally unappealing so the whole affair has me floating between a "he seems nice good for her" sort of neutrality and a vague bodily disgust whenever anyone implies they have sex or might get married and unfortunately for me 75% of the fandom has become travis sideblogs. Like the implication that theyre a hot couple is mindblowing to me bc every white man with a short cut fade looks like a thumb man from spy kids to me so the hotness of the couple is in my eyes being held up on her shoulders like the noble atlas holding up the sky. No conclusion to this post its not even hate this is just such a strange situation to be in since im primarily swiftblogging rn but have no interest in the second-biggest fandom wide discussion topic currently happening

[femmeidiot]

I don’t relate at all to two conventionally attractive skinny cis women in a relationship but like good for them glad they’re happy.

[theirtheretheyre]

these are my favorite tiktoks. jake as my cold boyfriend hes cold because hes in a glass of ice water!!!

[creature-unlimited]

Something about the way I've seen tiktok kids use the word "freak" really skeeves me out. It feels like they've reinvented the word "degenerate"

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

every once in a while i come across someone complaining about how "everyone" is saying something which this person doesnt agree with. and it's something basically no one is saying. and i know I Am Not Immune To The Internet Echo Chamber and that i Curate My Own Tumblr Experience by blocking annoying ppl with Bad Opinions but. i think some of you should just talk to people with better opinions.

[rhoddys]

HIM HIM HIM

YIPPEE

[radical-rapscallion]

i think people should have to take a test on how tiktok will affect them before they can use it. this goes doubly so for people with children.

[wyllzel]

😭 why did benedict tell colin "at least you have a direction in life" when the whole point of "romancing mr. bridgerton" was that colin did not, in fact, have a direction and needed to accept penelope's help/encouragement in finding it 😭😭

[bigkpopstan]

I saw a post on tiktok earlier about supercharger unit having been the most robbed on boys planet and all the rage when I watched they episode re-fueled my body bc JESUS CHIRST