#I saw this earlier and I've just been
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I just dreamt there was a Wanderer update, and there was so much angst it woke me up because I wanted to read it again.
Let's just say I was confused
wait hold on
you mean to say you dreamt about Wanderer?
This alone, my dear friend, has made me wield my pen to work on the next update
#mailbox#wanderer asks#I saw this earlier and I've just been#feeling so giddy since#Are y'all maybe overestimating the angst?#maybe a smidge. Then again#I didn't think my bird comic was that spooky lmao#treasure box
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4 YEARS!! 🧪✨🫧☀️🌈🔥‼️
#ever since I saw this scene 4 whole years ago I’ve wanted 2 draw it…. I’m finally powerful enough ….#WOOOOOOOOO#ROAD TRIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPP#I wuz talking about this earlier but this is. The first time ive ever drawn and coloured them all together#Despite hlvrai meanin so much to me and how big it was/is fer me I just. Wasn't. Involved? In any way?? Back in th day??#WHICH IS PROBABLY. FOR THE BEST TO BE HONEST !!!!!!!!#I've been enjoying it by myself for like 4 years. Lolz#Anyway happy four years i love youuuuuuyyyuu#hlvrai#hlvrai anniversary#half life but the ai is self aware#gordon feetman#tommy coolatta#benrey#dr coomer#dr bubby#harold p coomer#benry#benry hlvrai#gordon hlvrai#tommy hlvrai#half live vr but the ai is self aware#half live vr ai#Girl also I was up til like fucking midnight last night trying to cram this. Don't look at it too hard#I'll do an actual line up here in a bit#I WANTED TO HAVE DARNOLD & SUNKIST & FORZEN ALL HERE TOO BUT. AUAAGH#I couldn't figure out a good group pose/thing to do in a short time frame... sorry ........ sniffles and kicks a rock
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Carnivorous plant
The full flytrap Miku design (albeit very messy) under read more! (Or keep reading(?) idk)
#vocaloid#hatsune miku#carnivorous plants#venus flytrap#artists on tumblr#art#digital art#my art#if you saw me post this earlier#thats cause i fucked up#anyways sorry i haven't been active basically anywhere akh-#this is inspired by carnivorous plant by mao sasagawa actually!#as well as the “everyone should have their own miku design” post so here's my take!#i liek carnivorous plants (especially the Venus flytraps) i think they're the coolest plants on earth aside from sunflowers#sorry if I'm clogging up the plant tags btw oops#just letting yall know I've loved these plants for years and I'd die for them#ehe#Spotify
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#mdzs discourse#jiang cheng discourse#if the person i was talking to earlier sees this- don't worry. i am not vaguing about you here#this is someone i blocked as soon as I saw their take#I'd love to have good faith arguments about jc because he's such a messy son of a bitch#but that is currently impossible as the majority of his vocal critics rn are just writing fanfiction and using it as proof he sucks#currently bitching about the person who implied jc manipulated jyl into marrying a man she wanted nothing to do with#inorder to form a political alliance#and used 16 y/o jc's “i just watched my family die” speach and a 20 something y/o him saying “thanks. we'll talk later” as proof#jc antis are the most bad faith critics I've ever seen AND I HAVE BEEN IN THE FE3H FANDOM#i cant believe I've actually found something more headache enducing than the rhea and edelgard discourse
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I see so much more about Edwin than Charles, as if Charles isn't also a main character, so I just want to make it clear that while I am deeply attached to Edwin, he's wiggled his way into my brain and I doubt he'll ever leave, Charles is actually my favorite character, and my second is Niko, and I think y'all should acknowledge him more than I've been seeing, this is not the Edwin Payne show, and Jayden did too much of a good job for it to not be as appreciated
#frogdeer.txt#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#i usually try to keep quiet about my feelings when it comes to stuff like this#because i don't like the potential attention that comes with saying stuff like this#but i saw something earlier today that VERY CLEARLY put more attention on Edwin than Charles when it wasn't something that should have#and I've been irritated ever since#obviously you're allowed to like whatever character you like#and naturally people will post more about their favorites#but at least acknowledge that Charles is just as important as Edwin and give him equal attention in stuff that isn't just about Edwin PLEASE
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While there are things to criticise mash for and those conversations are important to have some of what I read can be explained very easily by reminding yourself
It was a TV show
On a budget
From years ago
From America
Written by a variety of human writers
Who used characters and plots to tell stories
Within a certain number of minutes
#mash#m*a*s*h#this isn't about anything specific#and there is also worth in taking and analysing mash as a whole#but sometimes you have to step back and remind yourself its a tv show#not in the 'its not real' way but in the 'it works like a tv show' way#I think the only specific thing I could use as an example rn is the criticisms I've seen of them not changing locations more often#and yeah the m is for mobile but do you know how insanely expensive it would be to film more bug out scenes?#and how insanely boring they would be to watch all the time#And when it comes to the tonal shift and its effect on the message that is a very good conversation to have with important criticisms#but I also saw some criticisms mostly in articles and books you know that boiled down#to why isn't this later episode exactly like an earlier episode :/ and I was like uhm because they already wrote that episode?#long story short: NUANCE#note: this post has been in my drafts for a while and I just wanted to free it
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how it started:
how it's going:
#jitxt#my stuff#proud owner of This Specific Photo of Kimura Takuya#not to conflate the two bc my enjoyment of yagami and kimutaku are connected but separate#but obviously it would be bs to pretend i would've been interested in smap without playing judgment#truthfully i was eyeing a magazine too but i don't like investing money/shelf space into an interest unless i'm certain it's here to stay#unfortunately kimura takuya is still only a recent interest so. something small like this is fine#though i might have to get a bromide holder to keep him safe... i know there's an aus run business that sells idol goods like that...#anyway uhhhh first picture context for those who might've missed my lore earlier:#is that post-JE pre-LJ. i didn't really care for yagami. lmao.#i saw yagami fans and it seemed like they were having fun but i genuinely didn't understand their affection for him#and so getting through LJ and starting to like yagami i was like WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME#thinking “lol look at his lame flat ass (affectionate)” and then going “WHAT. WHAT WAS THAT.”#<- girl who realised that she sounded exactly like the yagami fans online#and so i wrestled with it for a while#and bc i was talking in my friend's discord server about my experience with LJ i have this golden screenshot#of the day i finally gave in. pretty sure i'd been looking at pictures of yagami and kimutaku for like an hour beforehand lol#AND MY MESSAGES AFTERWARDS WERE STILL DRIPPING WITH COPE ABOUT IT#said something along the lines of. that i thought they tried way too hard to make yagami seem cool#and then followed it by saying i felt genuinely upset thinking about how i could never be on a date with him#THE DENIAL IS CRAZY... JUST SAY YOU LIKE HIM#anyway i've long accepted my fate but it's still funny to think about#jichan is asked to leave the fandom for needing to play 2 games to start liking yagami#meanwhile my sister's opinion on him hasn't changed at all. “he's alright” <- real quote about yagami from days ago#anyhow that's one of the main reasons i'm playing JE. so i can reevaluate that game with fresh eyes/new perspective#excuse my impromptu storytime. but i guess this whole post is about landmark moments in Jichan Liking Yagami so it's not entirely unfitting#i like yagami takayuki 👍 and now i like kimura takuya too 👍#gave this photo a goodnight kiss last night btw
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i wonder if im feeling less like shit enough to go to work tomorrow ;;;;;
#i sure hope so#also i just saw what was probably some kind of bot but bc ive got bsd brainrot rn#their url was 'merslut' and my brain went 'mersault'#and then proceeded to die about it gkajdjjajd#ANYWAY YEAH im feeling better ish but the whole nausea/dizzy thing from earlier isn't really gone yet#and i probably only feel better bc I've been. taking meds all day.#so#i said i would hopefully be gack tomorrow but that i didn't know so ig ill once again see how i feel#when i wake.up#shh ac
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SVT coming to Europe for the first time ever in 9 years (not counting Gastonbury, cause that was sold out a year before they were announced, so carats didn't get a chance to go) and it's not even going to be ot13 should be a crime.. AND IT'S BECAUSE OF A SCHEDULE?!
#maja talks#i'm so upset for real#like i'm happy for jun and all but really?#you announced lollapalooza long ago and now suddenly he's got something else?#i'm not even going but got fuck you hybe i hate you so so so much#i will never not be angry about hybe ruining my chances to see svt live#like fuck you so much#(but maja covid was the reason for the 2020 cancelations yeah but hybe is the reason they never got rescheduled!!!)#i saw one of my mutuals from like 2015 make a post a couple of years ago about how she got to see svt as 13 four times in one year#and here i am as a european being shit on for 9 years straight#i hate it here so much and i'm so upset and i probably shouldn't be this upset but i am#fuck hybe and fuck bang shihyuk and fuck everyone that made that fuckass company so powerful#i hate it so much#i knew they were never going to take coming to europe seriously after joining that fuckass company#and yet i can't help but be so damn disappointed#it's been 9 years...#i remember where i was when the 2020 europe dates were announced#i was sitting in a train and i was so happy i was shaking so hard#i got a ticket with a great seat for the Berlin concert and i was so happy#i've never been so excited and happy#and then covid happened and everything got cancelled and they never even addressed it#they only ever said “we were sad the tour ended earlier than expected” in their yt documentary and that was the only mention of it#then the japan dome tour had to be pushed forward (not even really cancelled if i remember correctly) and they made wholeass apology videos#saying how sad they were and blah blah blah still no mention of europe at all#then like the day after europe got cancelled they uploaded a video of hoshi dancing with fans at one of the us stops#and it really just felt like they stepped on my heart and threw it in a trashcan lol#then they joined hybe and hybe got obsessed with dynamic pricing and ruined everything#ruined all chance of us seeing them as ot13#(maybe they'll finally acknowledge us for real when they get back from enlistment in maybe 6 years but who knows)#i for real shouldn't be this affected
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story of my goddamn life,, (ㆆ ㆆ)
#ying's art#original art#ying's sonas#sona#void ying#doodle#comic#digital#i can't tell you how many times i open an app only to close it without looking for my thing cause i saw something interesting 😔#you can see how much fun i've been having with this new brush i'm using based on all the doodles i've been doing recently lol#i've had this brush for a while but i actually never used it until that inner demons doodle-#i prefer drawing on my phone with it though cause it gets really thick with pen pressure (i could just turn it off though i should do that)#anyways i hung out with friends earlier so this is all you're getting for today lmao
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Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
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Lars Tunbjörk – Alien at the Office (2004)
#book club#photography#Lars Tunbjork#Lars Tunbjörk#Alien at the Office#i was thinking about these earlier while i was walking around taking silly little woods photos#probably one of my favorite photo albums I've ever seen#read his interview in that link#the idea of taking pictures like you've never seen something before sounds easy in theory but it isn't so simple to do well#but i like these pictures#especially the middle row because of the colors and stuff. i think they go well together#arc#<-there's also that but i would love this even without that association#i saw these for the first time like... a few years ago i wanna say? and since then I've kind of been obsessed with the idea. yknow#like... just the normalness and at the same time it's just slightly off#taken at weird angles of things you wouldn't look at if you've been in a place before#yknow the kind of things you just get used to
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🤔
#i was walking to get a haircut earlier and i'm pretty sure i saw the guy i went on a date with back in June#i think we made eye contact and he was mouthing something? couldnt tell what or if it was a hi...#i was kinda in my own world with music and being on the phone so since i wasn't expecting to see him it took a min to register lol#walked up the block some thinking 'that was just Taylor right?' then turned around but dont think he did#it was one date but it was a really nice one and i've thought about him here/there#he wanted us to still be friends and i said i'd like that but he hasnt reached out--tho i did see him viewing my IG story recently#wondering if i should message him wondering if it actually was him but hmmm... iunno lol#has been kind of on mind since though#ore no inochi#reminds me i probably should get back to rewatching cardcaptor sakura which he got me doing lol#but for us now living in the same neighborhood for about 6 months i'm surprised we've only now possibly bumped into each other lil#*lol#[...i don't think i ever ate the ben & jerrys ice cream i bought at a bodega with him lol]
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//Thinking about fighting games and characters having special quotes with each other and it's got me thinking 👀
#//saw the latest sparking ze.ro trailer earlier and i've been hyped ever since#//idk if there's a meme like that already floating out there for specifically special quotes?#//but if not i could always make one?#//anyways i just think stuff like that is fun!#backup log {ooc}
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Ask game: 14, 17, 39
Hi! Thank you <3
14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?
Literally everything, I have anxiety lol But an example of that is going out at night. I don't live in the safest of countries, and the part of the country I live in specifically doesn't help. So I don't leave the house past certain time (6pm if I can help it) and try to be back early as well, if I was out... This is specifically shitty because I live hours away from the city (where everything interesting is). And let me tell you, with like 4hs of bus rides, a 6pm curfew is quite difficult to stick to lol
17. name 3 things that make you happy
The chocolate cake in my fridge (I made it!).
The soft blanket I'm wrapped under.
Clients who give good and useful feedback skjdfgfg
39. youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?
Oh this is such a good question cause I recently discovered Asian Glow Podcast (on Clarence Angelo's youtube channel) and I've been obsessing over it, it is so funny!!
And on a more nerdy and self reflecting note, the channel I'm Autistic, Now What? is very helpful to me right now and Meg is so sweet! :')
Other than that it's consistently Drawfee, my beloveds <3
Fun Ask Game!
#thank you!!!#i saw these question on my phone earlier and i've been thinking about them a lot#but just now i've had time to sit at my computer and answet them lol i't been a day...#and i'm actually procrastinating work as i write these tags kdfjhgdfg#ask game#ask#demongrocer
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😳
#lucid dreaming is the most epic and teriffying thing sometimes#I've been building it up over the years and i feel like im getting to that point where when i feel that space between sleep and alertness#i can push myself into whatever is happening and mostly be in control#for me it literally feels like im walking through a heavy veil#like that tingling static you feel when your foot falls asleep#its like you're detaching from your body and going somewhere else#i can't pick how my dream turns out i kind of just walk through and deal with whatever I'm dealing with#earlier while napping i did it and i was like in my 50s or so checked my mirror and saw my wrinkles then i went out to my car#lived somewhere else entirely and i get in the car and im going down the highway and I'm in the left lane going the speed limit and this#older guy with curlyish white hair and a peppered beard black sunglasses and a white dress shirt is driving a convertible#and he looks over at me and gets pissed that im “trying to pass him” and proceeds to try and run me off the road#my car starts to begin to flip i can feel this whoosh of air in my face and hair and right before i start tumbling i shoot up from bed#like ive had an exorcism and my hearts going like 90 bpm#it felt so real like you couldn't distinguish if it was a dream even if you tried hard enough#touch taste sight smell its all there#i stg for me lucid dreaming feels like im highjacking the bodies of alternative mes in the universe and using them as temp avatars#to experience some weird shit#lmao 😂#I don't have apnea or anything else like that so not worried there#but shit man#these have been getting pretty intense over the last few months as ive gotten better at it#ted talk info dump#no magenta here#i feel like i need a safe word for these types of posts#magenta has already taken the mantle of complaining/venting
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