#I still have weight and image problems and no motivation

[firebirdsdaughter]

Looking back at your Ask box…

… And realising you have Asks going back at least two years…

Which is a good thing bc I just accidentally found out someone blocked me that I think I only interacted w/ them all of once and I'm not sure why but I might know why and now I feel bad, and…

… Yeah. I'll. Uh. I'll go think about the Asks, maybe.

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

You're Losing Me Analysis

Ok, you got me, enough people messaged me with cute gifs and pretty pleases asking for this analysis to motivate me to finish it. So, here it is, my lyrical analysis of You're Losing Me.

I will stick to my interpretation of this song NOT being about a romantic relationship, the poll I did a while ago showed that most people interpret it to be about a romantic relationship breakdown. I will explain why I don't think that, but if you do, the main lyrical themes will still apply. (Colour coding of main themes at the end)

Before any lyrics, this songs starts with two sounds: A heartbeat and a massive sigh. Like, a really big one, you can even hear the inbreath. Something I've only ever experienced when someone is really, really exhausted and annoyed. I've sometimes made that noise when I'm standing in the pieces of something my children have broken, after I've told them a thousand times not to break it. The non-verbal expression of 'I f*cking told you this would happen'. So, before we even hear any words, I'm able to tell that this is about something that has happened before. We've been round and round this thing a million times. This breakdown has been a long time coming, a death by a thousand cuts if you will ;)

The heartbeat also sets the scene for the main lyrical theme before the first verse starts: A patient in an emergency situation, I envision a hospital room with a heart monitor. Over this heartbeat (and minimal production) we hear Taylor addressing her audience by saying

You say, "I don't understand," and I say, "I know you don't"

The You and the I are having a disagreement, but it's not so much an argument, as a miscommunication. They don't understand what she's saying but Taylor was already expecting that. Immediately, the first line confirms what the sigh was already indicating: This is not a new issue, we've been here many times before so Taylor is well aware that this communication isn't working. Then in the next line

We thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won't

She introduces the medical theme in the lyrics with the word 'cure'. The metaphor is that the relationship that's being described here is the patient that's dying in hospital. This theme is incredibly present throughout the entire song, there is a constant 'brink of death' threat, with mentions of 'gashes', my face was grey' and 'too far gone to bring back to life'. And then, of course, the chorus is the culmination of this with the repetitions of 'Stop, you're losing me' and 'I can't find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore'. This gives me images of an emergency room situation where the patient is flatlining and the doctors are trying to revive them. Or maybe a battlefield, as the last line of the first verse introduces the secondary theme of war or combat with 'You might just have dealt the final blow'. Taylor has of course used the war imagery many times before when talking about conflict, such as in All Too Well ('I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight'), Call it What You Want ('I brought a knife to a gun fight'), The Great War, and the Archer ('I'm ready for combat').

So, despite the initial resignation, Taylor is fighting with the person/people she is addressing here. They are the one that's injuring the patient to the point of near death. And in the chorus she is telling them that, asking them to stop, because the relationship is dying. But we don't yet learn what she is asking them to stop doing. She does, however, show the problem in the relationship when she says:

Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?

It's a WE versus I situation: We used to love this room, but now I (and only I) am left sitting alone in the dark. And only I get to make the decision about what to do with all the stuff we built together, because you're not even here to sit in the dark with me. Also, notice the light versus dark comparison. You are only there for the light (easy) parts, and not the dark (hard). In that context, I am inclined to interpret the room in this line as her stages and the light being the spotlight. We loved standing in the light together/You loved seeing me in the light, but now you've left me in the dark. This is why I really think this song is about the relationship with her majority fanbase and not a romantic relationship. Since 1989 she's written about her romantic partner in a way that makes it clear that this person is with her through thick and thin, on reputation we had End Game and New Years Day, the ultimate song about being there after the party when the glitter fades and it's not glamorous anymore, and in CIWYW she literally says her lover's 'starry eyes sparking up my darkest night'. So, I don't think it's her partner who is leaving her in the dark here, it's the fans. And the 'everything we built' is of course the fame/sold out stadiums etc. And that theme continues in the next verse:

Every morning I glared at you with storms in my eyes How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick

Now the picture is becoming clearer as to what the 'you' here is doing that Taylor is asking them to stop, or better what they're NOT doing. She's glaring at them, sending signals and biting her nails, using all forms of non-verbal communication, but they're not being received. Or she's being willfully ignored. The 'I sent you signals' is a screaming parallel to 'I gave so many signs' from Exile and 'sending signals to be double-crossed' from Evermore. And I think in all three cases, it is referring to queer flagging. And just like in High Infidelity (a similar song thematically) she says 'There's many ways that you can kill the one you love/ the slowest way is never loving them enough', here she's saying 'How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?. Both boils down to the same thing: Your ignorance is killing me and it's a slow and painful death. She ends the verse on the medical theme which has now slightly shifted to Taylor being the dying patient ('My face was grey' - corpse) and the relationship being sick. Over the chorus we still hear the heartbeat though, so she's dying but she's not dead yet.

Let's talk about the bridge. This is juicy, as Taylor's bridges always are, but this one, of course, had the one line that sent all the swifties into an angry rampage against Joe Alwyn. But we'll get to that. The first line is in fact my favourite:

How long could we be a sad song 'Til we were too far gone to bring back to life?

She calls the relationship a 'sad song'. And that's obviously an interesting thing for a songwriter to say, and I've seen many good interpretations of this line, but mine is this: Taylor is the girl who made her name as the young country singer who writes sad breakup songs about her past relationships. And she owned that for a while, until she openly discussed how much it trivialises her writing and that songs are more than just the person she's writing about (not as simple as a paternity test etc.), but have people stopped making her songs about men? When the Joe breakup hit the news, wasn't the first thing the swifties said 'Oh, the next album is going to be soooo sad...."?? So...for some people she still is, and will always be, just the girl who writes about breakups. And she's saying to those people 'how long can this relationship last if that's all you'll ever see me for?' She also, once again uses the medical theme of 'bringing the relationship back to life' when it has in fact died multiple deaths already. But this time it might just be 'too far gone' to be revived.

I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me I'm the best thing at this party (You're losing me)

She also continues the war/combat theme with being the 'bravest soldier' who is bleeding whilst on the frontline 'fighting in only your army'. This is also important. Taylor is the soldier but she's not fighting for her own cause, she's fighting in the other person's army. She's making herself bleed, for the other person's sake. Much like a closeted gay person pretending to be straight for the mass appeal. It's making me bleed for your benefit, but you don't even notice, DON'T YOU IGNORE ME!! And then we get to the ultimate bait and switch line:

And I wouldn't marry me either A pathological people pleaser Who only wanted you to see her

Where you will all shout at me 'How can it not be about a romantic relationship, it has the line about marrying!!!'. Relax, I think this is intentional. What an easy way to make the whole song sound like it's about a breakup with just one line when the rest of the song suggest something else (to me at least). I don't see this as being about a literal marriage proposal, more like a 'I wouldn't choose me either'. Very much along the lines of Anti Hero, I'm the problem, why would you choose me, but I'd still love it if you did. And she even says in the next part 'I have nothing to believe, unless you're choosing me.'

And I'm fadin', thinkin'

(POV changes, addresses self:) "Do something, babe, say something" (Say something) "Lose something, babe, risk something" (You're losing me) "Choose something, babe, I got nothing" (I got nothing) "To believe, unless you're choosin' me"

So in the imperatives, the direction of address changes and she's now thinking to/addressing herself with these commands: 'DO something, SAY something, LOSE something, CHOOSE something, RISK something.' Almost like she's trying to jumpstart herself into action. This all screams BE BRAVE to me, especially the 'say something' because in the previous verse she was communicating in all these non-verbal ways (glaring, signals, nail biting) and that wasn't working. She's telling herself to be brave and SAY something, make it unmistakably clear, but that may well mean risking something and losing it. Also, choose something babe, you can't play both sides forever. In the last line she then addresses the audience again by saying 'I have nothing to believe unless you're choosing me.' She wants to be chosen by her audience as her authentic self, not as the 'sad song' girl. Once she's said all those hard hitting truths, what follows is a massive pause, a moment of total silence. Like the moment when you've finally said all you wanted to say and now you're waiting for the reaction. And when you almost think the song has ended, we get the heartbeat again and one more chorus.

SILENCE You're losin' me Stop (Stop, stop), you're losin' me Stop (Stop, stop), you're losin' me I can't find a pulse (HEARTBEAT STOPS) My heart won't start anymore

In this last chorus the Stops are now echoed twice to increase the urgency in this plea, it sounds almost like she's saying 'stop, stop stop! It's really about to be over!'. And it is, as the heartbeats stops on the word 'pulse' and the patient has finally died. She concludes on what we have just witnessed 'My heart won't start anymore' but there is no 'for you' this time, because the relationship is dead now. No more coming back this time.

Thematically, to fit into the concept of midnights, this could be a song set in early 2019 when she was planning her coming out, or it could be more recent, as an internal counter piece to Anti Hero. I hope this lived up to what you hoped for, people who asked so nicely :)

blue - medical theme/imagery

orange - direct address to audience

green - war/combat theme

[hyperlexichypatia]

I read this extremely disturbing article about weight loss “treatment” (drugs and even surgeries) for children. I do not recommend reading it if you struggle at all with internalized sizeism or body image unhappiness. It is extremely upsetting. Really, don’t read it. 

The focus of the article is a teenage girl called Maggie who has been pathologized for her weight her entire life, literally since infancy, and then, as a 13 year old, was given weight loss drugs and bariatric surgery. The writer of the article, Lisa Miller, is clearly framing child weight loss as a reasonable medical practice and “radical fat-acceptance advocates” as somehow going too far. Miller is also clearly framing child weight loss interventions as necessary for “health” reasons. 

My partner alerted me to a journalistic trend we started noticing around 2015 – when a writer is trying to express that the people they’re writing about have one motivation, but all the actual quotes from the subject express a different motivation. This often happens when a writer is trying to argue that support for a racist/sexist/bigoted policy position or politician isn’t motivated by racism/sexism/bigotry; it’s motivated by Some Other Thing – and then every actual quote from a supporter is some strain of racist/sexist/bigoted (see: almost every mainstream article from the mid-2010s about the alt-right, men’s rights, gamergate, or the Trump movement). 

In “Ozempic Era,” Miller is trying to convey that child weight loss interventions are necessary “treatments” for “medical problems,” not the result of forced aesthetic conformity due to systemic sizeism – but the actual parents and kids she quotes all cite aesthetic and social reasons for wanting their children or themselves to lose weight. They talk about fitting in. Fitting clothes. Being accepted. Gaining confidence. Wanting to look like thin, popular kids. One of the parents explicitly rebutted the fat-acceptance movement by saying “The world is not built for overweight people” as though acknowledging and changing that fact isn’t the entire point of the movement. 

But really, fat acceptance barely got acknowledged at all. The bulk of the contrast, as usual, was between the “judgmental” view that “blames” fat people for being fat, and the supposedly more progressive medical view that blames genetics, environment, and other factors outside an individual’s control for fat people being fat. It’s so much easier to start the conversation at “Whose fault is it that fat people are fat?” and “What’s the best way to make fat people stop being fat?” than to step back and question “Why is being fat a bad thing?” 

I don’t even think the parents being interviewed are being disingenuous, necessarily. So often in discussions of fat liberation, disability liberation, mad liberation, neurodivergent liberation, whatever, people clinging to the medical model will insist, as though they’re the first ones to think of  it, “What about the problems with being (fat/disabled/etc) that aren’t caused by social factors? What about the suffering intrinsic to the condition itself? Social change wouldn’t fix that!” and then, when asked for examples, will immediately cite examples of problems caused by social factors and systems. Clothes not fitting is a social problem (clothing is made by humans!), not a problem intrinsic to fatness. Bullying is a social problem (humans are the bullies!), not a problem intrinsic to fatness. Fat children lacking self-confidence is a social problem (self-confidence largely comes from relationships!), not a problem intrinsic to fatness. People are really out there trying to come up with non-socially-caused problems intrinsic to fatness and citing “airplane seats” as though airplanes are naturally occurring. 

A perfect example of this in Miller’s article is that now that Maggie has lost weight, she can be a cheerleader – she’s still not small enough to be at the top of the pyramid, but she’s strong enough to be at the bottom of the pyramid! 

How, exactly, is weight loss necessary for that? There’s no size limit to the bottom of the pyramid! That’s where your heavy people are supposed to go! There are, at least, actual physics-based reasons why a heavy person might not be suited for the top of the pyramid. If the claim were “Before she lost weight, she was on the bottom of the pyramid, but afterward, she’s small enough to be on the top,” that would at least be a change directly connected to her physical weight. But for any physical activity that doesn’t directly involve being lifted, weight should have very little connection to ability. Fat people can and do run, lift, swim, and do every physical activity that thin people do. Of course, various medical conditions and disabilities can affect those abilities (in fat people, thin people, medium-sized people, and everyone else), and not everyone is particularly interested in athleticism, but it’s just dishonest to pretend or imply that thinness is a prerequisite for any kind of athletic activity. 

“But, Hypatia,” you, the straw reader who lives in my head, might be saying, “You’re always talking about youth rights and autonomy! If the 13 year old consented to have her body surgically and chemically altered, shouldn’t we respect her choice?” 

Great question, straw reader who lives in my head. Consent has to be informed. And uncoerced. I do not believe that a 13 year old who has been pathologized for her weight since she was an infant, who has been told by her parents and doctors and every authority figure in her life that her body is a problem, who has been relentlessly bullied and ostracized for her weight, is making an uncoerced choice. Nor, if she has never been exposed to the fat acceptance/liberation or health at every size models, is she making an informed one. There is no indication that accepting her naturally fat body was ever an option for her. 

Regardless, my point isn’t even “13 year olds shouldn’t be prescribed bariatric surgery or weight-loss drugs” (although I absolutely think they shouldn’t, and I wonder where the people who [falsely] think gender-affirming care is “permanent surgery on children” are on this). It’s “We should abolish the pervasive, unquestioned, widespread systemic sizeism that leads people to think fatness is a bad thing.” 

[phr0gg13]

Can you do an angsty Will fic? Where he breaks down from being touch starved (he became used to giving hugs than getting hugs after being thrust into a role of leadership and having to act like he's always okay for his siblings) and Nico comforts him? It's kinda specific, so its completely your choice! im just really desperate for some Will angst

Pls no smut! and possibly Will X Nico! Thank youu <33

Ahhhh!! I love Will and Nico soooo muchhh, the minute I saw this request I already made a photo thingy for the fic and Im so excited!

Will Solace x Nico Di Angelo

Warnings: Angst/comfort, mentions of negative self image, and also infirmary stuff!

Will was tired to say the least, as the head counselor of the Apollo cabin he had a lot on his plate. Not only did he have to help out the new Apollo children but also the current ones. He felt like a mom at times, struggling to stop all her kids from accidentally dying. Oh and he also was one of the head healers at the infirmary. He spent all his time helping others but no one ever really helped him. Of course he had friends and of course he had his siblings but none of them ever really picked up on his stress or negative thoughts. The dark circles under his eyes went unnoticed as well as the constant yawning.

Will had managed to get away from the busy day he was having. Opting to chill near the strawberry fields. He even picked a few to snack on, safe to say he knew this break wouldn't be long. Camp Half-Blood seemed to have a dramatic increase in new campers, Will didn't understand how the gods could have so many kids all the time, this meant that he had a lot more to do. A Lot more people to show around, explain things to, and also a lot more children that end up injuring themselves.

He always kicked himself mentally when he sighed at the new campers asking him for help. He was supposed to be a bright eyed, happy-go-lucky Apollo kid. Yet he wasn't happy, he was stressed and in a constant state of self loathing. Will felt water drops on his hands, looking up at the sky he saw it was still bright and sunny out. He was crying. In the middle of the Strawberry fields. He felt stupid. He was fine and a little work wasn't the end of the world. He tried to find the motivation to get up and go back to the infirmary but he couldn't. He couldn't stand the thought of going back to the bloody noses, and the bruises, and the whining.

He didn't want to. He just wanted to stay put in the fields. Streams of tears came out of his eyes, the stress of everything was too much. He put his head against the tree he was sitting next to and let himself cry. This was fine, he was fine. No one was around anyways.... Or so he thought.

"Hey you okay Sunshine?" Will knew whos voice it was. Nico Di Angelo, a child of Hades and someone Will was quite enamored with. Will quickly wiped his face, "Yeah, I'm great... It's just really hot out, some sweat got in my eyes." Will resonded sheepishly. He wasnt trying to lie to Nico, he just didnt want to burden him with his problems. "You sure? Cause from where I'm standing it seems like you are hiding in the strawberry fields crying..." Nico sat down next to Will. Will looked at Nico, who was wearing some black jeans and a black shirt (He never wore his camp half blood shirt) with a skull on it. He gave Nico a small smile, "I'm just stressed I guess...". Nico nodded and looked around the camp. Everyone was doing their own thing, they didn't notice the pair at all. "You do alot for the camp, I'm not suprised you're stressed. You should talk to Chiron about some time off or something..." Nico's suggestion was nice but Will couldn't stand the thought of not being useful. He didn't want to be dead weight. "I'm fine. I just...." Will couldnt find the words he was going to say. Nico faced Will and gave him a concerned look. "Please stop overworking yourself. It's not healthy and you're supposed to be a doctor or whatever..." Nico joked with the blonde. "I'm not a doctor, I'm just a kid they put in charge of the health of countless other kids..." Will sighed. "Yeah, but you're damn good at your job, Solace." Nico's compliment made Will's cheeks burn. "Thanks..." Will looked away from Nico trying to hide his blush.

A horn could be heard in the distance, it was dinner time. Will sighed, he would have to go back to everyone, put on a smile and pretend all over again. The moment with Nico was just a moment. It wasn't permanent. "Guess it's time to eat..." Will sat up and got on his own two feet. "Thanks for talking to me Nico." He started to walk away until he felt a hand grab his wrist. "Wait... You can sit with me if you'd like. The hades table is always empty..." Will smiled at Nico and nodded his head. "Yeah, I'd like that alot Nico." Nico gave Will a small smile and closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Will. Nico had his head against Will's chest considering he was a few inches shorter than Will.

Once again tears threatened to leave Will's eyes, but for a different reason this time. He returned Nico's hug and placed his chin atop of his head. The two stayed there for a few minutes. Just enjoying the embrace of the other. That night at dinner Nico and Will talked on and on about everything. Nico even convinced Will to talk to Chiron about his stress. Safe to say there were a lot more moments in the strawberry fields for Will and Nico.

[randoimago]

oh good!! i know weight-related things can make some people uncomfortable; i was just hoping for some headcanons about members of the mighty nein with a chubby!reader as a partner?? how they'd treat them in public & private, reassuring them when they have self image issues, etc

How They Treat a Chubby S/O

Fandom: Critical Role

Characters: Beauregard Lionett, Caleb Widogast, Fjord, Jester Lavorre, Mollymauk Tealeaf, Veth Brenatto, Yasha Nydoorin

Type of Request: Headcanons

Notes: Honestly I don’t think any of them would treat their S/O differently in public vs. private (some might be more affectionate), so I think I’ll just do this as a general thing of how they treat S/O.

The Mighty Nein

Beau absolutely believes in the “there’s more of you to love!” mindset. She constantly talks about how much she loves you and how hugging you is like holding the best pillows. Wouldn’t mind helping you lose weight if that’s really what’s bothering you, but she really likes how you look and would rather you be happy with yourself than change for other people.

Caleb is very bony so it’s nice to be able to just lay on you when he reads or studies. Really has no problem with your size or how you look. Just let him rest his head in your lap and he’ll read out loud to you, adding in words of praise for you specifically, but acting like it’s dialogue in the book he’s reading.

Fjord is also a tad self conscious of himself since he’s not the strongest out of the group but he does his best. If you wanted to train or something then he’ll be happy to join you, you each can be each other’s motivation. Just know that he likes you and wants to do what makes you happy, not others.

Jester is chubby herself so you being self conscious might make her self conscious because is that’s how she’s supposed to feel about herself? She loves herself and loves you and so she’ll help you learn to love yourself too!!

Molly’s whole brand is being the center of attention so if that’s causing you to be more self conscious then he’ll try to tone it down. Does tell you that everyone supposedly has only one life to live and you should use it to be happy, not worry about others.

Veth hated herself in the past until Caleb helped her. So if you start feeling down then she’ll do her damnedest to make sure you know that you’re loved and you’re amazing. Seriously, who does she have to shoot to make you happy?

Yasha will still gladly pick you up and carry you around. Don’t even try to tell her that you’re too heavy. She’s strong, she’ll lift you up. And she’ll gladly punch anyone that says anything about you too. You’re fucking beautiful and you should know it.

[livelaughlovenikeiyomiuri]

So am I the only one that thinks that Nico is the one that tried to kill Ace? I've seen so many people being so quick to say that it was actually all Hu's doing and that they are just protecting her.

Now, do I think Hu is related to the incident? Absolutely, but not because she is secretly Ace's killer- rather, I think she is our manipulator (and Arei's killer).

This is a long one, kids.

Now, allow me to paint you a picture: Hu is working hard to maintain the appearance of an approachable, gentle individual with a maternal streak- when stuck in a death game, she knows that being well-liked can make a difference, so she is doing her best to protect this image of herself.

But, oh no! A new motive can put it all in jeopardy! Secrets are given, and if no one kills before the time runs out, they are going to be revealed to everyone! What can she do now, to protect herself?

Even without receiving her own, she figured out easily what her secret is- or she may have had a talk with Whit about it, but I'm trying not to use too much conjecture and overcomplicate this. She knows that for her secret to be kept, someone has to die, but just because she is a manipulator, doesn't mean she is a killer. Or maybe she just didn't want to sully her hands.

Here enters Nico: they're meek, they're being bullied by Ace, someone that Hu doesn't care much about- most likely because she knows that she can't manipulate him. He doesn't like her, and that is a problem: if someone dislikes her, she isn't safe from being killed.

But for now, Ace is putting all his energy on Nico, and that's wearing them out: they are the best possible prey for a manipulator. And so, what does she do? She coddles them, of course: she becomes a gentle mother figure, someone who is gonna protect them against the world if it ever comes to it. She is the first to accept their identity, and becomes their spokesperson, making sure that no one ever tries to misgender them.

She doesn't even have to do much to push Nico to consider murder: Ace is doing a perfectly good job all on his own. She just has to lend her personal weapon, help them out with coming up with the murder plan, promising that they were going to leave this game together, and all she has to do then is wait for the body to be found.

A perfect plan: all she has to do is cry crocodile tears, sobbing as she tells everyone what Nico did and how heartbroken she was at having her trust abused like this, and who would ever believe a killer that she was the one actually behind it all? And so, they'd die, and she'd get to live another day, her secret safe.

...except, she overestimated how much Nico actually hated Ace. Maybe they got scared of death, or they started to have doubts, or simply they thought that death was too serious a punishment for what Ace did to them, but nevertheless, Nico changed their mind.

They saved Ace's life, pushing him to the ground, and started to free him for the wire around his throat- and then, Teruko and Eden came in. They panicked, of course: they knew how incriminating what they were doing looked like, and they ran away.

Come the day after, and Ace is still alive, and screaming about how they tried to kill him. And all Nico can do is stay quiet and take it, because what else can they do? They had been trying to kill him, and even if they were to tell the truth, that they had changed their mind and were trying to save him- who would believe them?

And they could say that they weren't alone in this, that Hu helped them, but- she is protecting them now, like she had said she would do. How could they ever out her like that? And so they keep quiet, even if the weight of the truth is killing them ever so slowly.

On the other hand, Hu is absolutely reeling: she is doing her best to damage-control, making sure that Nico feels too indebted to her to even consider telling anyone of her involvement, and that's gonna help her for now, but what about later? She has only one day left, that is too little time to try to manipulate someone else into killing, Nico is compromised and she can't leave it up to chance: she has to kill someone herself, there is no other choice left.

But, who to kill? Whit would be the better option: he is the one that has her secret after all, but would she know that at this point? We can't be sure.

On the other hand... Arei. Arei is trying to become a better person now (a relief: she was one of the people that she didn't have too good of a relationship with) and, most likely, is trying to patch her relationship up with Hu: they did have quite the few fights in the earlier chapter, and she is most likely trying to make up for it.

Hu, of course, accepts these attempts at reconciliation: and she finds it oh so easy to coddle Arei, listening as she opens up about her secret and the terrible things that her past has caused her to do, becoming her friend.

And Arei then, opens up about her current fear: she received a terrible secret, that someone is a murderer and that, once the secret is revealed, she's scared that he might try to come for her, to end her life.

And this is just the best news Hu has gotten in a while: she now has someone who is oh so trusting of her, and also, the best possible victim.

As I said before: who would ever believe a killer's word? Especially the word of someone that has killed before.

I am still unsure of the actual murder plan, but I'm certain that Hu was the one that sent Arei the letter to come see her at 7:30 PM- signed, Julia. She most likely told Arei of this little fun fact, and told her that she was more than welcome to call her that while they were alone, a cute secret between 'friends'.

Of course, this was done so that, if someone were to find the note, everyone would think that J was the one to write it- sure, a couple of people knew that Julia was also her nickname, but she had told them that she didn't use it anymore, that she was loud and proud of her real name- whyever would she sign herself 'Julia'? And who knows, they might just not remember it, either.

That was done just an extra way to make sure that there were other people than the 'seasoned murderer' to possibly pin the crime on- better to have multiple potential victims, you know?

(oh btw, haven't talked about it much, but my theory for the murderer with no remorse is Levi- his secret quote mentions his heartlessness, and he has a seemingly very blasé relationship with death- seemingly unaffected by the chapter 1 deaths and saying that he would do 'what the other would do' to cope with them, implying that this is mostly an act on his part. Which is also how I explain Arei having a broken neck- it's a lot easier to break it that one would think, but everyone would assume that only someone with a lot of upper body strength could do it- and Levi is the only one that really fits the bill for that. Arei was probably drowned, so her neck being broken is likely Hu fabricating evidence to make Levi a suspect- and subsequently playing on the fear that he is a murderer to make everyone more distrusting of his words)

So yeah, TL:DR Hu girlboss era (she is a terrible person)

Also, please tell me if I've accidentally misgendered Nico at any point! English is not my first language and sometimes I get confused ;;

[modernbaseball]

... i want you to drop your numbered list of s4 problems <3

omg anon i love you. sorry if this gets long except no im not you asked for MY list so you shall receive MY long ass list!!!

obligatory if you don't want to hear criticism then don't go further. it is not my problem if this enrages u. but if u disagree/agree/have other opinions let me know im totally fine with some respectful back-and-forth about this season. despite what i make it sound like i don't HATE it and im open to other opinions

i do not talk about the marwa problem because. yeah. there's one more episode i guess. so what i'm saying is come back next wednesday to hear me talk about the marwa problem

character traits and flaws are being played up in excess

remember how DUMB nandor is? remember how BAD he is at understanding others? he is never going to understand a single thing said to him or when someone is upset or when he has made a mistake despite having established deep relationships with these characters. and also he's going to have the same story arc as last season but with a LOT less respect for women!!! (so much for himbo)

nadja is #GIRLBOSS (a lot of people might go "well maybe i like her like this!!!!" ok fine sorry that i like my female characters to be more than a plot device. she had to want a night club so they could do night club stuff. so empowering. she's had some good moments this season but half the time its YAS GIRLBOSS!!! ok just recognizing that this is a stupid "feminist" trope doesn't make it anything more than that)

laszlo is BISEXUAL DAD (honestly don't have a lot of issues here. good for him. just wish they would chill out with the Quippy One Liners. they're funny because they exist within the narrative)

guillermo is SOMEHOW STILL BEING MISTREATED (despite having 2 seasons dedicated to this particular issue. can we move on)

2. disregard of detail

ok it's stupid but it really DOES bother me that the intro has adult colin pictures when the intro was adjusted to fit details like colin's death in the past. if the vampires in-universe see baby colin as being his own person, why do we see him lumped into the same images as adult colin?

other little things that bug me

the vampires are suddenly well liked and have friends in the community (nadja's club opening and nandor's wedding)

the baron being seen as someone of prestige when the whole thing was that he is a vampire nobody

ignoring the big obvious fact that there WAS a vampire nightclub

where is all this blood coming from

hypnosis was previously only used as an occasional plot device and we got a whole episode about why that is (brain scramblies) and now it is in EVERY. SINGLE. EPISODE. it is TIRING. it is CHEAP. it is NOT. INTERESTING.

the nightmarket just existed this whole time?

all the wishing stuff. if nandor was willing to take guillermo's advice for one wish, why not others?

3. bigger isn't better/nothing matters

so in the past, wwdits was built upon a pretty simple concept: What if vampires existed in modern day, but they were pathetic and lame and boring?

oh an epic and powerful baron is meeting with them? no he's actually lame and also guillermo kills him on accident. a trial with the vampiric council?? nah it's in some basement and the vampires get away because colin brought an umbrella. vampire killers??? lame inexperienced group of young adults who end up not killing a single vampire.

things had weight and importance. the show worked as a dark silly mocumentary because it felt grounded in the simple docu-type shit, like "how would modern vampires find more virgins to eat?" "how does guillermo get rid of bodies?" now it's like, yeah we have blood on tap pretty much. whatever.

4. the fucking time jump

why spend an entire season setting up an epic three part finale which then sets up an insane cliffhanger to fucking throw it away within the first episode? tension created for nothing. elaborate story set up for nothing. character's individual motivations and obstacles set up for nothing. no pay off. makes season 3 feel significantly less good because what was it even for anyways

5. character motivation

character motivation is not shown or understood over time: it is not stated ("i want a vampire nightclub!") and assumed we believe it

vampire night club. just.........................this has never, EVER made sense for nadja's character. especially now. there was 0 set up to indicate she would ever want a thing like this. is this trying to be more female-empowering? ppl might call it "satire" or "subverting tropes" but it isnt enough to just preform a trope and state in-universe that you know it is a trope (saying she is a girlboss)

nandor wants to find love still i guess. this feels sort of like they realized nandor was left without something to do after scrapping his journey home story so they were like ok i guess he's just doing the same thing he did last season. i thought his new motivation was to find himself but i guess they just didn't feel like doing that anymore so

6. the nandermo problem

ok. this isn't so much a criticism like the other ones as it is...idk. my Feelings or something.

if this is NOT leading to nandermo: ok i guess. not the end of the world. sucks that they baited this particular couple (not QUEERBAITED, yes, i am aware) and continued to run the "WHO IS NANDOR'S LOVE INTEREST!" plotline into the ground for nothing but ok. i would have been fine with a brief romance and a horrible break up FYI. they are just funny when they are obsessed with each other. sue me

if this IS leading to nandermo: would it fucking kill you to act like it. what's the point in them getting together if they avoid the two of them being together or having any normal romantic/sexual subtext like the plague except for one-off lines and D-plots. either commit or don't

7. actually fuck you im adding this one to the list

ohhh we are so diverse ohhhh we are so inclusive look at all the same sex casual sexual relationships and romances. NAME A WOMAN. NAME A WOMAN. yes we've gotten f/f breadcrumbs but can nadja just fuck a woman or something. can we just have some same sex women in here. so much classic lesbian media is vampire related it would not be that hard. it would not fucking kill you. come on.

charmaine is there. the guide is there. marwa is there. better yet get some more female characters in general. better YET. i want my jenna back

[jazzypizzaz]

Red White and Royal Blue

*deep sigh* read the book twice in a row, watched the movie twice, want to complain about them but also can't stop reading the fanfic even though only I've only read a couple that capture what I want but anyway might as well lean in so... fine. here's some rambling thoughts under the cut

what I liked better about the movie:

tighter narrative (book went on way longer than it needed to)

smoothed over or cut out all the parts I found most cringey/over-indulgent... especially pop culture & real life political references

the public image/role of Alex made way more sense - like yes he's worried his relationship "scandal" (& that word wasn't used in the movie! thank you!) impacts his mom's campaign/image, but it's not built up as a huge deal that he's bisexual. yes the media still gets carried away with the dumbest shit, but the First Son isn't treated on the same level of importance as like actual political figures

cutting Rafael Luna. ok I love the character!!! & his relationship with Alex but c'mon the idea he'd infiltrate Richard's office was so so dumb. no serious, intelligent politician would think that would be effective let alone go through with it

Alex & the Texas strategy was a more direct way to show his ambition and passion, it felt like a more authentic expression than his role in the book

the shifts in their relationship felt more organic. I didn't buy Alex still felt they were rivals in the book as long as he did, or that he ever thought they were keeping it casual. I liked the shift from physical to romantic in the movie, as fast as it was in the book it sometimes felt jarring to me

tbh the way identity was treated in general - always impacting the characters & their motivations, but not expressed in hamfisted statements or OTT angst or *as* tokenistic as the book could be. I feel like this especially with Alex as biracial but admittedly not my place

kept a fantasy romantic tone throughout without the jarring relationship to real world politics

the way the turkey scene didn't 100% crib from the West Wing episode lmao

Zahara and Amy and Ellen were incredible side characters. absolutely perfect, no notes.

what I liked better about the book

Alex was a lot rougher around the edges - overworking & pushing to prove himself, being "too much" with talkativeness and messy big emotions, bright as a fire burning too hot too hard too fast... he's able to be fully himself with Henry in a way that he holds back or scares off other people!! it's important for their relationship dynamic!

in the movie he was kind of a lovable friendly jock type with some insecurity, but not the same level of unbridled need to prove he's good enough (he's a Blaine archetype in some key ways imo ok, that's dear to me)

in part because he had a more complicated relationship with his parents in the book, being a child of divorce, living with his mom who is understandably more career focused as Pres than paying attention to her (adult) children, and his dad living across the country also busy with his own political stuff...

I can only picture Oscar as Jimmy Smits which is entirely because of West Wing. movie Oscar was fine this is purely a personal problem

no loose ends with the emails leak??? felt like there could have been more resolution/explanation of that in the movie!!

THE LETTERS!!! THE INTENSITY THE ROMANCE THE YEARNING when they are separated... I don't think there was a good way to better incorporate this in a movie but it's the Entire reason I fell in love with the book despite its many shortcomings

THE REFERENCES TO GAY HISTORY, the weight of there have always been queer people, that Henry/Alex's love is specific & individual & special but also nothing new, it's rooted in deep human tradition just as much as quote unquote family values, but what IS revolutionary is the role they can play in this history for the next generations of queer people... ("history huh" was fantastic in the movie but I missed the quotations in the letters)

Pez, Bea, Nora... completely made into devices solely to support Alex & Henry in the movie without any effort to make them seem like their own people with their own shit going on... I mean the book wasn't super effective at this but at least it tried to make them characters if somewhat cardboard. like Pez was in the movie solely to not make Nora a third wheel. ok. nora & bea were conventional women more or less. (June was barely a character in the book, although I liked her existence in general) & I missed Nora and Alex's bisexual friendship. felt true to my own experience

what I liked about both

History, huh?

text convos

Alex's bisexuality. they have different flavors of discovery between book and movie, but the journey is still there in both. He connects the dots of past experiences that he's been ignoring, he puts a name to this part of himself for the first time, his feelings for Henry help him confront it but aren't the sole evidence by far... it's more show less tell in the movie, but fits that narrative

everything Henry <3 darling

the playfulness and flirting between them

[nochd]

Naturism as social justice

← Part 1, Part 2

Part 3: Mental health

Guess what kind of mental illness has the highest death rate? No, it's not suicidal depression, it's eating disorders. Anorexia in particular is deadly.

It's usually not a great idea to blame mental illnesses on things in society or the media that we don't like. In most cases it's either wrong or over-simplistic. But eating disorders are the one big exception. Eating disorders are caused by having a negative body image (plus the usual predisposing factors), and negative body image is caused by the depiction of a few idealized body types in the media to the exclusion of all others.

If your own body is a bit saggy and pudgy, and no other body you get to see is even the least bit saggy or pudgy, you start to get the idea that you are a pathologically saggy and pudgy person.

Most people are pretty saggy and pudgy by the standards of the media. These days even supermodels' bodies are Photoshopped to within an inch of their life before they'll let us see them. Whether in sports or ads or movies, we get a very small and idealized selection of the range of human body sizes and shapes held up for us to admire.

And to a point, we can blame capitalism for that. Idealized bodies sell. It's how media companies make money.

But only to a point. Capitalism is riddled with problems, but I'm afraid I hold the unpopular opinion that "Stop capitalisming!" is not a helpful solution to them. There are multiple different problems that will require multiple different fixes.

Idealized bodies sell because we pay to see them. It's hard to think of an alternative that doesn't involve some authority deciding what kind of bodies we shall be allowed to see; and I for one can't imagine how that ends without the authority becoming at least as bad a source of body-shame as what we currently have.

Now there are some who would argue that body-shame is a good thing, because idealized bodies are healthy and shaming people for having un-ideal bodies will motivate them to get healthy. This is wrong on several levels at once.

Weight and fitness are two different things. Fitness is far more important to your health outcomes than weight. Even the smaller difference that weight does make, it only makes if you're unfit -- if you're fit, your weight has no bearing at all on your health.

And at least some of the difference that weight makes, even if you're unfit, is caused by society's perception of weight rather than the weight itself.

How does that work? Well, suppose an obese person goes to a doctor with a moderately serious illness. Suppose the doctor prescribes a weight-loss programme.

Suppose the illness actually has nothing to do with the obesity, and the real cause is missed, and the illness gets worse and the person dies. They're now a mortality statistic because of the misdiagnosis.

But doctors won't make that misdiagnosis on people with "healthy" BMIs. So obese people have a worse shot at being correctly diagnosed and properly treated and surviving.

How will this show up in the statistics? Why, it'll show up as an association between obesity and poor health outcomes. Rinse and repeat.

On top of that, the actual effect of fat-shaming is to discourage obese people from getting fit, because you get fit by exercising, and exercise is when your fat body is most open to being seen and shamed.

I'm sure you can figure out for yourself what effect that has on obese people's fitness, and what effect that has on the statistical association between obesity and poor health outcomes.

Yes. If you shame fat people for being fat, you are not just not helping, you are actively making the problem worse. Don't do it.

I'm afraid that logic still applies if the fat person you're directly shaming is yourself. Other people hear you and infer what you value, and it confirms their own shame.

As I said, I'm not sure we can police the media's depictions of bodies without just creating another source of body-shame. So perhaps the solution lies outside of the media: not in the bodies we see on screens, but in the bodies we see in everyday life.

You know what's been shown by a recent study to help with body image? That's right, naturism. If you grew up seeing naked people a lot, you have a lower risk of developing negative body image.

As far as I know, no study has yet drawn the connection all the way through and shown that naturism helps prevent eating disorders, but given what we do now know, that seems likely.

Part 4 →

[venriliz]

I was tagged by @sheplayswithlifee. Thanks! :)

1. What’s your favorite sims death? I personally never experienced this death while playing but the "running with scissors" death in the Sims 2 is hilarious and also disturbing lmao.

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? I always use Maxis Match for hair but the rest is more Maxis Mix.

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? Never have and don't plan to do so in the future!

4. Do you use move objects? I'm not a builder but as soon as I change to buy/build mode move objects needs to be activated lmao

5. Favorite mod? Probably MCCC but I also love Wicked Whims/Wonderful Whims. For CAS the more CAS Colums mod is nice. I also enjoy the Realistic Childbirth Mod a lot!

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? I got them in release order besides the Werewolves pack, still not sure whether I'll get it or not.

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? aLive mode :D

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? I don't really share much about my sims here (I probably should) but I actually really love the girls of my simblr band I created for the Edgewavefest event right now.

9. Have you made a simself? Nope, never even tried. :D

10. What sim traits did you give yourself? Hmmm probably Creative, Art Lover (I could stare at surreal paintings for hours) and Cat Lover. Goofball or Socially Akward would fit too I think.

11. What is your favorite EA hair color? That's hard. The jet black one is nice and I also like the new very light blonde hair color.

12. Favorite EA hair? Might be weird but I like to use almost all of the slicked back male hairstyles.

13. Favorite life stage? I like all of them except for the baby stage, that one is...rough lmao. I surprisingly enjoy the elder stage a lot.

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? I actually hang out in CAS mostly but I'll try to get more into gameplay soon! I have a sort of love-hate relationship towards Build Mode. I really need to be motivated to sit through building a house without quitting :'D

15. Are you a CC creator? No, I only do some basic recolors from time to time for my own game.

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I'm not sure actually. I have some people here I connect with more often then others I'd say.

17. What’s your favorite game? When it comes to the Sims franchise it's definitely Urbz for the GBA. I played it religiously as a kid and I still do sometimes C: My favorite Non-Sims games are Rimworld and the Dragon Age games.

18. Do you have any Sims merch? Nope

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? Nope again

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? I started out avoiding mods at all costs and now I can't play without them. In terms of gameplay I now play a lot more families than I did a few years back.

21. What’s your Origin ID? BlueApple95 - But I'm not that active on the gallery

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? I have A LOT. Probably too many to list here and I don't like to pick favorites. :)

23. How long have you had a simblr? I think I made my account in 2020? But I had a very long hiatus up until recently.

24. How do you edit your pictures? I mostly use Blender and edit the images with Gimp afterwards. I suck at taking screenshots I don't know why. T.T

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? My favorite is seasons and get together (only bc of Windenburg lmao) I also enjoy Cottage Living a lot.

26. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? I'm not sure if I even want another pack to be released...but at the same time I don't want Sims 5 either. xD

That's it! :)

I tag @boredmoodlet @microscotch @pisces-king @simsstuph @charmingmushroom @lilamausmaus and @crazy-lazy-elder-sims but ofc you can ignore it too, no problem! :)

[talesofsonicasura]

A King's Musings

A warrior king thinks about his peculiar guests and the face of the person who brought them.

Part of the Past/Present/Future Trio! Best to check that out first, especially the comments and reblogs, or else you'll just be super confused.

Damas would admit that Jak will never fail to surprise and worry him. The young man alongside his smaller companion had been gone for two weeks ever since they snuck into the Monk's Temple. It wasn't no lie that a good chunk of his Spargus citizens than just their king were a bit worried.

Jak and Daxter peculiar dynamic helped ease the tension from the serious matters outside the walls. It's hard to not be amused by youths getting into ridiculous but mostly harmless antics. Something that felt needed when the problems at hand aren't the usually ones for his people. These were much larger and dangerous matters that even his unaware citizens can sense.

Then not even an hour into the night did the Spargan King received a message from his most trusted friend, Sig. Jak and Daxter had been found but they weren't alone. Two other boys were with them, one who had a lethal allergic reaction to sunlight. It was enough extra motivation for Damas to come over alongside an escort and get the four youths back to Spargus before sunrise.

The King was about to arrange separate rooms for the other two boys but they all insisted on staying with the "Demolition Duo". It wasn't hard to notice the kindredship between them. One of sworn brothers ready to burn the world to ashes for each other.

"I figured I would find you wandering the halls again." Damas turned away from his thoughts to look at an approaching Sig. Although he couldn't help but raise a brow at the bits of feathers stuck haphazardly on the man's armor. "Old habits die hard my friend. Let me guess, a pillow fight?"

The man playfully rolled his only organic eye at his king's query. "Blue Cherry has one hell of a swing. Knocked the air outta me real good than just make a pillow explode. I can only imagine taking a hit from him as a full grown adult." James Lake Jr or "Jim" being the young man's preference.

A half human/half 'troll' who shared a very similar situation to Jak. Sadly he couldn't change back to what he once was from how it been phrased. The boy could easily be mistaken for being part Lurker if he didn't have that smooth stone hide and horns. Maybe a subspecies?

Jim was sixteen but dwarfed Damas by a foot if you weren't counting the horns. It isn't hard to see what his sworn brother meant as the boy still had some growing to do. They were lucky Kleiver hadn't thrown out his old PJs when he was a teenager. Between the four, Jim is more outspoken and approachable.

"An agreed sentiment as the young man has no doubt seen his fair share of the battlefield if he shares Jak's predicament. Though I bet it was Link who started their little fight." Damas' smile could barely conceal the heartache that stung his soul.

The world of a warrior wasn't a kind one. Every man and woman will face their own unspeakable horrors as war is bound to find them at some point. The eyes that a 10 year child should never be cursed to have. Link was painfully close in personality to his lost son, Mar.

An innocent youth with a knack for getting into mischief and prefers to use sign language than his voice. Sadly Link's innocence had also been robbed in the same way his fellow brothers lost theirs. By men like the Green Eco Sage who believes children should hold the weight of the world on their shoulders.

"Little Cherry is as clever as his aim. He already knew the right trajectory and timing to throw so he could hit my face before I even opened the door. Jak got himself some competition when the boy's old enough to pick up a gun."

Damas snorted at the image of his friend being met with a pillow to the face. There were already some rumors about Link being the King's secret love child amongst his guards. "I'm glad to know they're making themselves comfortable already. Hopefully the boys don't decide to throw another pillow fight in their new room."

"So when you are going to start working on those adoption papers? Just know that you have to do shared custody for Jim cause his mother might beat you with a broom if otherwise." Sig chuckles at the pointed look from Damas.

He knew his sworn brother's fatherly instincts when it came to lost children like the four boys. Damas is family man at heart and he always wanted to give Mar siblings. When his son disappeared, it wasn't hard to notice the sorrow in the man's eyes.

It hurt to find Damas sitting on Mar's bed with his son's favorite Crocadog plush in hand. No updates on the lost boy for over a year just made it worse. There been a few leads but they were muddle before absolute silence once Kor was dead. Although some reports were linked to two particular boys who slowly been healing Damas' heartache.

There was something about the Demolition Duo, especially Jak, that resonated with the King of Spargus. A very familiar bond that neither parties could identify but can definitely feel. Kinda like... Both men hadn't noticed they had stop in front of Jak's room. Unlike 20 minutes ago, it was quite silent.

Damas and Sig looked at each before the latter silently open the door. The room had been overtaken by feathers that once made their home in the pile of torn pillow cases at the farthest corner. Jak and Link's items were closer to the bed especially the youngest peculiar "Fierce Deity" mask which sat on an intact pillow.

It wasn't difficult to find the room's occupants. All four boys were all fast asleep, huddled together in a slightly awkward cuddle pile. Jim was behind everyone as his head rested on Jak's chest alongside Link and arms held the two smaller blondes. The youngest boy nestled himself against the oldest with a firm grip almost if to make sure he won't disappear.

Jak was in the center of the two whilst Daxter laid behind his head, curled up like a feline. A very rare sight to behold as the duo still had issues when it came to sleeping. Haven City hadn't been so kind to their health from the constant mission reports Sig gotten ahold of during his stay.

The heartwarming scene felt very familiar to Damas, too familiar. Soft peaceful expression on Jak's face as his body was held in the safety of his brothers. Just like...

Realization hit Damas harder than a gun handle to the teeth. "Sig, get me every report involving Jak's stay in Haven. I'll be in my private studies as there's something I need to check. The answers we been seeking about Mar's disappearance is much closer than we thought."

Sig quietly headed off while the king look back at the sleeping youth, specifically Jak. The image of a little greenish blonde child surrounded by blankets as he held a plush crocadog to his chest paint the king's mind. "Please let me be right."

The door closed without a sound as darkness gently blanket the room once more.

And that's it. I'm a sucker for Dadmas just like Fierce Dadity so I couldn't resist. Figured I give Jim a break from the madness he's been subjected to on my main blog. Still on a Trollhunters kick so it'll taking longer to get other stuff done.

Life has also been insane as curveballs keep coming. I'm currently working on the next chapter for Of Bug Cults and Living Stone while proofreading my older works. Until next time folks, I'll see you back at the crossroads between Spargus, Arcadia and Hyrule!

@radioactivepeasant @hermitdrabbles56

[mytrouvailles]

ROTTMNT SPOILERS I WONT EVER GET OVER THIS OK LETS GO

so as a fan of tmnt 2003, 2012, the 2007 movie and rise i have a TON of analysis to get off my chest about the dynamic of these turtles in the rise movie. and first off is leo and raph ofc.

first off in the past versions (especially 2007), leo and raph always seem to be going at it because of some “leader/soldier” vibe going on between them. raph never liked being bossed around, leo was always a sensei’s pet, etc. raphael’s anger has a history of being unnecessary, and leonardo’s responses never helped the situation either, he refuses to admit he’s wrong in some cases. see 2007’s rooftop argument, literally the whole thing lol

rise 100% changes this dynamic from the beginning and i LOVE it! first we’ve got no leader leo, just some goofy 14yr old boy who throws out one-liners in the middle of battle (other leos actually do this too, but their overall demeanors are way more, let’s say pensive, having to deal with their brothers’ lives on their shoulders and the responsibility of leader). the statement that rise leo is basically other leos if they had 0 responsibilities is 100% valid.

so in rise we’ve got a leader in raphael! which i honestly thought was a nice take when i first watched the show in 2018, why not give the famous hothead a crack at being leader? only this time he is also the oldest, the strongest, and has actually controlled (or really never had) his temper. there’s a lot of maturity there that we really haven’t seen in other raphs before and i ATE. IT. UP. but, raph is still a teenager, a teenager who cracks under pressure and believes the entire world falls on his shoulders. he became more of a self-declared leader, as the oldest and biggest, and the others had no problem with it. he carries the weight of leader because he feels that he HAS to, he has to own up to all of this responsibility in order to become his own image of an ideal hero, who does good simply because he can. see Pizza Puffs, you know Red Angel Of Preventing Harm? yeah this guy LOVES being needed by people, going on 100% of their missions and all.

we see the more serious side of leadership in raphael near the end of s2. throughout the series, there were noticeable times that the others (normally leo) would step up as a leader, give raph a break, and save the day with some motivation and a wacky plan that ended up working. see Origami Tsunami. however by the end of the series, we see raphael’s breakdown, his fear of failing his family, and it is here when he realizes that he must trust his family the way they trust him, and allow the team to work equally and carry each other.

then immediately after that we get leader leo! if there’s one thing i wish would’ve been handled better, it’s definitely the pacing to get to splinter’s decision to appoint leo as leader. BUT i do get that the rise crew had to work with what they were given, and honestly it could’ve been done worse so no complaints here.

leo and raph (like in every version) are opposites in many ways. rise raph’s mindset pushes him to do good because he can, and he has a desire to be needed by others and help them in any way he can. he is a caring mother-hen to his brothers, who he just wants to be able to take of themselves when needed. see Hot Soup: The Game and Pizza Puffs.

on the other hand, leonardo is most concerned with his image, whether he’s the best at what he does or not, and has a desire for people to want him. this taps into his insecurities shown throughout the series. see Portal Jacked! and Minotaur Maze. even in the movie, he admits to casey that while he thought his brothers needed him, the reality is that he needs his brothers. leonardo constantly tries to prove his worth to himself, to prove that he is a champion among his brothers. this obsession (more so in the movie) leaves him lacking in team cooperation, but like raph, believing that he must do everything himself. but this is the exact moment when the difference between leader raph and leader leo come out, while raph felt a sense of responsibility and duty to carry everything on his own, leo did so simply in order to prove that he could. he shows the confidence in himself to do things the way he wants, but fails to put that into play when it comes to cooperating with his brothers.

one thing that i love about the movie is that raphael’s anger never originated from any form of resentment or hate for his brother for taking his position. raph was noticing a dangerous pattern in leo’s behavior, one that he believed would harm himself and his brothers, and he was solely focused on getting leonardo to understand that he must take responsibility for his actions. it’s a very familial type of anger, one that comes from worry and love. leo’s response was pretty nonchalant, reading a comic book while raph was trying to talk to him and all. this attitude stuck with him until his talk with casey, who criticized him for acting as arrogant as he was, implying that leonardo was nothing like his future self. and then you know what went down, when he had to fight raph, with donnie and mikey captured in the background. seeing his brothers in the state that they were in was his turning point, he realized that being the leader doesn’t make everything about him, but rather makes it more about what he can do to make sure that they all make it home.

by the end of the movie, it’s obvious that leo’s sacrifice wasn’t made in an attempt for glory (see Minotaur Maze). leo spent the entire movie holding that one photo of his family, at the end he was smiling at it, crumpled in his hand, as krang pounded him into the ground. leo knew that his sacrifice meant that his brothers were safe, and at the end of it all, that’s all he wanted.

[moni-logues]

Sloth - It's weird to put Yoongi here, because as much as he likes lazing about, he is actually one of the most active members? He's always working out, always producing, and practicing. I feel like for him, its more that he values laziness as opposed to what he actually does. I have a friend a lot like him, and its an odd juxtaposition. To call someone so motivated and hard working lazy just feels off at first, but I'm thinking of what they value or struggle with so much that it becomes a problem. Not necessarily which they portray as a personality trait.

Wrath - Hoseok. He isn't #1 most scary in bts (thats Jimin apparently lol) but the members have made it clear that he struggles to control himself when he's the lead. He has always had a dark side (I remember first impressions the boys said he was serious and kinda scary lol). He is easy going in general. But when it comes to his expectations (dance, and cleanliness standards) the things he actually values. He seems a lot more tense and abrasive. That's not to say he has anger problems either. I was going to put him as greed at first, but even in his greed it seems to just feed into his anger. Even in more, that thirst is described as something that consumes him to a point that he's agitated and wrathful.

Envy - Jimin. He's always craving attention. He loves seeing his members succeed, but it's not hard to tell that he wants more. More talent like theirs, more attention (from them cause he's a clingy baby). His insecurities are things his songs (and himself) are open about. It upsets me because he is actually so talented fjfkkf. So proud of him for releasing his album (well, soon but still). He doesn't need to be envious he's perfect the way he is 😭😭😭 this envy has really affected him negatively in the past. His weight is a clear sign of his struggle too. Body image really is something he gets upset with which also makes me sad. I miss his muscles and poofy cheekssss.

Lust - Namjoon LMAOOOO. The whole rapline has been open about their sexuality, and Joonie outside of those, has also made it obvious how riled he gets. The ideas of these is more than just what they show or portay, but what they struggle with, right? He's made it obvious in his songwriting that he has struggled a lot with this as well. War of Horomone being a clear indicator in his youth. I wouldn't put him here just for being the most sexy, or sensual (though he is).

Gluttony - Seokjin! A lot of people put him here because of his love of food, but I think it's more than just that. He's in general insatiable. When he has something he loves he wants to induldge in it. Gaming, cuddles, food, affection, sleep. He likes what he likes and goes for it to a point that it's very noticable. A lot of the members game, but it's pointed put a lot that he tends to hermit for it as well. Which, fair enough, I do too lol.

Pride - Jungkook. I think his competitiveness goes a few extra steps tbh. I always see people put Namjoon as pride, which I get, but I think it's telling how much more Jungkook reacts to losing. Even the idea of letting people down (which he struggles with) is a clear sign of his pride. If he disappoints someone, it's like he might lose value in their eyes. Mmm trying to say it's not just his pride he struggles with, but people's pride OF him as well as his pride for others. Even when he's on his hiatus, he's still trying to do right by people and make them proud. He's honestly such a soft baby fjfkkf but I definitely think he struggles with it. He gets upset when other's don't value his members as well. On talk shows when a member gets written off he gets upset fast because he's proud of them and thinks they deserve to be valued the way he values them. Which they do oml, they're all precious.

Greed - Taehyungggg. When he has something, he never wants to let it go. Including a members attention loool. I used to struggle with differentiating between gluttony and greed. I see this as Taehyung being fairly content with what he has, but he struggles with letting go and sharing. When he has something he values, he covets it and protects it. But at the same time he can seem very illusive, so people don't always see it. I think it's because he isn't greedy about the things most other people are. When he does share, it's with his precious people as well. I almost view him as a dragon that doesn't mind sharing with his members, because they're part of his hoard itself lmao. He isn't losing anything that way cause they're part of it 🤧

I looooove this!!! Such thought!

I also would want to give Jimin envy but I also considered Namjoon because of the way he's talked about being envious of other music artists and never wanting to start painting so that his appreciation of art isn't tainted by that same envy.

I really like these choices! Thank you!!!

Match BTS members to the seven deadly sins

[missmeganlee]

Problems that Need to Be Addressed in YR s2

I was thinking about all the unresolved problems s1 left us with and decided to make a list cause there is a lot

Wilhelm and Simon's relationship, both as friends and as romantic interests (I mean obviously lol)

- There's a lot of trust that needs to be rebuilt before anything can happen

The drug problem and how it affects:

1. Simon; they're his dad's medication and he was the one who dealt them

2. Alex; unfairly thrown under the bus by The Society, we're all sensing a revenge plot

3. August; he also sold the drugs, and his dependence/growing dependency on them

4. Wilhelm; he did take drugs from the party at The Palace and as far as we know he till has them either in his room or in his jacket pocket

Felice's relationship with her mother and how that has affected how she sees herself. The fandom has talked about how we'd love to see Felice's natural hair and I agree, but I also think there's a possibility that Felice could have some disordered eating/a potential eating disorder because:

1. In episode 1 she says she's not hungry and doesn't go to dinner with Maddie

2. Also in episode 1 when she's throwing up at the party the camera pans to the ground where she's thrown up and shows a piece of food. There's a reason they decided to show that. Felice also told Sara not to tell anyone that she threw up. Yes it could be that she was just embarrassed, but it could also be something else.

3. In episode 5 she mentions in passing to Sara how obsessed her mother is with her image and how she needs to have the right clothes, post the right pictures, lose weight/be a certain weight (not sure what the exact wording was), etc. for a person of Felice's status.

The August and Sara situation. I have so many questions. Is August actually going to help Sara become a boarder even though Wille knows he leaked the video? Why did August even kiss Sara back in episode 6? What was his motive behind that? Also how is Felice going to react if when she finds out?

Simon still has no idea who leaked the video but the two people closest to him do and haven't told him. (gonna make a separate post just about this because I have a lot of thoughts)

The whole Mickie situation

1. Again he's connected to the drugs 2. Is he still going to try to build a relationship with Simon and Sara 3. Sara probably holds a lot of resentment towards Simon cause he saw Mickie behind her back

August's standing within The Society. Ever since Wille stepped up in ep. 5 and basically took authority in the group they never showed August hanging out with the members (and Nils) afterwards. Did the group turn their backs on August cause of his money problems? Or maybe it was August putting the distance between himself and them because he's ashamed of his money problems/ashamed that he's the one who leaked the video

Wille's grief

Baby boy wasn't given any time by his mother to be able to properly grieve his brother

[review-time-babe]

Lockwood and Co. The Screaming Staircase; An Honest Review.

Mild spoilers present.

Jonathan Stroud. Lockwood and Co. The Screaming Staircase.

Let me preface this with this book is an incredibly fun read. If you’ve watched the Netflix series and are looking for a more in depth picture of the world of Lockwood and Co. I cannot recommend this book enough. Personally, I think I would have enjoyed the book more if I hadn’t watched the series first, but it was still quite a good read even after knowing the overall plot. The world building in this book is fantastic, and the desire to understand more about the world of Lockwood and Co. and figure out what exactly caused ‘The Problem’ in the first place pulls you through the book at a fast, yet steady pace. Jonthan Stroud had a clear idea in mind for this novel and he relays that world to the reader in an incredibly precise way. The world building is both clear and intricate, and works well to support the plot. That being said, there are some discrepancies in the quality of writing between the book and the series.

The first issue I had with this book is that Stroud doesn’t trust his reader to create a picture in their mind. Everything is painstakingly detailed. Don’t get me wrong, Stroud is very good at setting a scene; his writing gives a feel of depth and realism to a book that's firmly set in the realm of the fantastic; there's just too much of it. His in-depth account is delightful for world building, but horrifically dreary in terms of table setting. There were several moments that Stroud gave a beautiful piece of imagery that told me exactly how he was envisioning the scene, almost like he was projecting the image directly into my head, but then he would go on about the same item or person for five more lines. It gets boring fast.

Something else I noted is that even in its infancy the attempt to set up a romance between Lucy and Lockwood is kind of awkward, it’s only a few lines here and there but it’s very much not subtle. That being said, I’m all for it. I understand why Stroud has chosen to add this and I think it makes sense for the genre (teen fiction). I also think making Lucy the protagonist was an excellent move as her gender gives her unspoken motive to connect with Annie Ward; due to her (Annie) being a victim of male violence. The only issue I find with having Lucy as the protagonist is that there’s a moment towards the end of the book where Lucy is dismissed as a threat because she’s a girl, and in her head she has a feminist call-out moment of ‘oh wow they think I’m weak/a coward because I’m a girl’, but like a few pages out it’s implied that her ‘Talent’ is more sensitive because she’s a girl. And it’s just like ,, pick a side Stroud? Either you’re having a feminist moment where women are just as strong as men or you’re claiming Lucy’s Talent is sensitive because she’s an emotional woman. Like jeez.

This leads to another gripe I had with the book. Lockwood is very clearly a character we are supposed to admire and look up to, and that’s okay in itself, but he figures out the whole antagonist's plot at the end of the book even though Lucy is the protagonist? The last chapter or two is very much like reading the diary of a sidekick because of this. 

A warning about this book; do not read it if you are fat, are sensitive about your weight, have an eating disorder, or have no patience for inane cruelty over another person’s appearance. George, in the book, is overweight. And we are reminded as such basically everytime Lucy has to look at, mention, or hear him because Lucy hates fat people. Well, more specifically Lucy hates George. But since there is little to no substance to their relationship, other than being explicitly told it's antagonistic, Lucy hates George for being fat. Repeatedly.  And loudly. 

If you enjoyed George in the TV series, do not look forward to his characterization in the books. Instead of the socially awkward but ultimately lovable autistic coded man, we are given a socially awkward, deliberately antagonistic abrasive man with no real substance other than being mean who Lucy hates. As I said before, Lucy’s main complaint about George, beyond comments that they don’t much get on and a few awkward interactions, is that he is fat and he happens to eat.

Due to George’s lack of substance, other than being a researcher and abrasive in personality, a good deal of Lucy’s antagonism towards him seems pointless. There’s so much fatphobia in this book. Like I physically cannot understate this. There’s SO much fatphobia in this book. It’s pretty much Lucy’s primary complaint about George. Yes she finds him rude and off putting in his manners but every other word of her narration when it comes to him is: insulting him for being fat, talking about him eating a sweet food in a derisive manner that makes it clear she finds him greedy, or describing him as overweight in an exaggerated way in order to make it clear that being fat is Not Okay and Not Normal. It’s maybe supposed to be funny in a 2000’s-esque mean-girl way, but it just comes off as mean. Over and over. Mean. It’s not fun to read at all, and could very reasonably make some readers self-conscious.

All that being said, the plot of this book is good, the world building in this book is good. Good enough that I skipped through the verbose nature of the descriptions with little complaint and ignored the fatphobic mean-girl commentary because I was so eager to see how Stroud was going to further flesh out his world. If you can stomach those things I recommend you read this book. This is a good book to read on the toilet; It’s engaging and entertaining, and being stuck on the loo stops you from being too annoyed at the heavy-handedness of the description. I mean, at least it's not the shampoo bottle, right?

Rating:

A Solid Good. 

I look forward to reading the next one. :)

[katimorton]

Episode focus: EATING DISORDERS Audience questions for "Ask Kati Anything" - Kati Morton's mental health podcast | episode 112 

1. Is it possible to form an eating disorder on purpose? Recently I started tracking calories and am really focused on losing weight. When I eat too much I feel really bad and sometimes try to purge (even though I usually don't manage and feel even more useless afterwards). I think I still have it all under control but... 

2. What’s the difference between emotional eating and binge eating? I feel like I use food as motivation and as a reward. At the end of my days when I get home from work or on weekends I will crave/eat all the sweets and snacks and food that I know isn’t the healthiest and I guess will 

3. I'm wondering how to make yourself feel better on bad body image days? Also, is it possible to ever really like your recovery body? I often find myself really struggling with body image, and although I can avoid acting on behaviors at this point it is really exhausting to constantly hate my body... 

4. I was wondering why I want to get sicker for my therapist. I opened up to her (sort of) about my eating disorder, but told her I wasn't too keen on recovering at the moment and she said she understood and wouldn’t force me. I know talking about it is inevitable, but I try not to think about it. 

5. I’d like to know where the line is between just being an extremely picky eater and actually having an eating disorder? 

6. I was wondering if you could talk more about memory loss & eating disorders. My therapist has brought up that my memory issues could be because of anorexia. what does she mean?? how does this happen?? i feel so stupid because i forgot the slightest things constantly, is this really because of my ed? I'm only fifteen, could this put permanent memory issues on my brain?? 

7. Why is it so hard to let go of the romanticized image in my head of the 'perfect anorexic'? And how can I learn to let go? I'm choosing for recovery at the moment, but only with the thought in mind that I never want to let go fully and am always able to go back to my ED habits. It's hard to let 

8. s a medically obese/overweight person who struggles with disordered eating (restriction/bp cycles), what are some healthy and effective ways to manage weight loss while not slipping back into dangerous habits? I want to lose weight, and I think it would improve my body image.... 

9. I am overweight and having health problems due to my weight and have started exercising and changing my diet. I have been struggling because I am becoming very hyper aware of calories and my weight and fixating on people's praises for my weight loss. How do I...