#I still need therapy 4 years ago tho

[scaredofmyocs]

If I made an OC who was sad all the time bc he kept having things that were specifically horrible for them happen to them (and also me because they would be facing my issues bc) and they are somewhat me but they're aware something greater than their comprehension is putting them in situations that are horrible for them and want to be freed desperately bc I feel that do you think that would be too meta and also possibly cause a paradox and that by thinking about it I have already perpetuated the cycle. Or am I fucking deranged I think it's that second part I think I need therapy 4 years ago

[zoetiger-1106]

The Chameleon is actually a really complex character and here's why.

Disclaimer: This post will contain kfp 4 spoilers as well as include info from interviews and the animation featurette and I will be analyzing the movie pretending that everything had deeper thought put into it even tho it's most likely not the case sometimes

For those who haven't seen it, have the absolute criminal offense that screwed with the story telling of this movie because it is important context.

Now that we have that whole thing out of the way, let me explain to you how the Chameleon's character is shown through more subtle things instead of just very in your face exposition/ storytelling.

1) Cammy's insecurities

The first time she was in on screen, Cammy was established as being in charge of Juniper City via commanding the local crime lords. She is hidden among them for the first part of their conversation, where she observes them badmouth her before she reveals herself, but even before the reveal, we get hints to her being there via the line "You forgot the shape-shifting sorceress part" that she throws into the conversation after the bear crime lord insulted her appearance.

Despite showing herself as in control and well put together, her need to interject hints at the fact that she does still have some underlying insecurities regarding her true form.

That insecure aspect of her character is further proven by her summoning Tai Lung first (I'll get to that later) and a statement from Viola Davis where she talked about how she did the character voice for Cammy

The underlying implication that she has internalized when masters told her she was "too small, too lowly and that kung fu wasn't [her] destiny" is proven even more when you take into consideration that she exclusively transforms into species that are larger and more physically powerful than her.

She literally says: "I grew, I excelled, and I got everything I had ever dreamed of." Everything BUT kung fu. The one thing she wanted to do from the very beginning. So, with that context, the "dream" she got fulfilled to a degree was the power. Conventional, physical power.

People have told her kung fu wasn't "her destiny" so she decided to take matters into her own hands and do what she believed to get her to where she wanted to.

To quote the Stephanie Ma Stine, the director who actually cared about her: "Because she has this anger that's been build up from always being invisible to everyone else, her transformation process actually reflects her anger."

All those years of being over looked and seen as less than had such an impact on her that it consumes ever part of her being. That lizard needs a hug and therapy, your honor.

As I said, I wanted to get into why she summoned Tai Lung first (chill I know this was not actually as thought out as I am interpreting it to be but hear me out.)

Tai Lung is everything she isn't and couldn't have been.

He is tall and conventionally powerful. Even if you knew nothing about his character, you could take a look at him and know that man is strong. On top of that, he had received formal training at a renowned school by a renowned master. Taking his kung fu first and foremost is not only the fulfillment of a wish she's had her whole life but also a power move on it's own; while not able to do kung fu Cammy still managed to beat someone who was what the schools she had gone to all those years ago would have considered the ideal student.

Also can we acknowledge how the water dragons (those are not komodo dragons idc how often it's stated) clap for her after she's done with Tai? Show of hands from all the mentally ill people who'd get their henchmen to clap for them too because they desperately need praise 🙋

Similar can be said for how she makes the people of Juniper City bow before her when she is paraded around; it makes her feel powerful.

Lastly I'd like to point out that her line of "Third rule of the streets? [...] Some would say it's the most important. Noone is interested in your feelings." Is probably something she got from people not caring about her feelings back in the day when she tried to pursue her passion.

2) Cammy's knowledge & skill

"Those bonds (the cages) are enchanted with some very old and very powerful magic. You'd need at least 10 Dragon Warrior's to get through them". Not only can she create such strong (presumably) chi based bonds but she can make them in batches and with ease. Between the scene of her accepting tributes from the crime lords of the city and Po's vision about her plan we can see her enchant multiple cages at once.

Not only that but she knows advanced chi techniques as well as how to open portals to the Spirit Realm. That is not easy information to come by Cammy has been researching chi in general for god knows how many years.

I don't know if I have said this on this blog before but her not being redeemed is such a wast because she could have not only helped Po further his mastery in chi but also aid in replacing a lot of the scrolls in the JP since she is knowledgeable on history and the history of kung fu and master too.

You honor that lizard is a nerd and deserves to geek out with Po.

I'd also like to point out that not only is she able to shape shift but do it incredibly swiftly. She can be seen switching forms in a matter of seconds even mid combat. Not only that but she has so much control off her body that she was able to create that dragon from of hers by transforming parts of her into different beings with little to no effort. That forms for incredibly stable too; she only transformed out of it to change her strategy.

Her incredible amount of control over her body funnily enough also shown by her 3d model alone. As stated by Sean Sexton the head of character animation "The Chameleon had 8130 controls. You could move every single part of that character [...]"

Lastly, I need to talk about how she genuinely is like Po.

I've seen people say that she can't do anything on her own because she just steals people's kung fu when no. No that is not the case. After having stolen enough master's kung fu to have a wide knowledge of the craft she was able to mimic and adapt to Po's style without having to steal anything from him. If she wouldn't have been given the opportunity to learn kung fu she would have become like Po and been able to master techniques based on simply observing them.

TLDR: Cammy is a great character this fandom is just horrible to female villains

[bitchesgetriches]

I’m sure you get a lot of asks, and it’s understandable considering how great you ladies are! I recently read your sustainability swap post (I loved it!) and I wanted to recommend something I didn’t see on there that’s incredibly important to me.

Swap out tampons and disposable pads for menstrual cups and cloth pads!! It’s an adjustment for sure (esp the menstrual cups) but it’s so good for the environment, your health, and frankly your wallet. I made the swap to a menstrual cup abt 5 years ago and haven’t had to buy tampons (minus a few early cycles until I started carrying cloth pads w me) since — and I’ve had the same cup and it’s still working great!

When it comes to the cups ItsJustKelli on YouTube has a great playlist where she reviews multiple diff products to make choosing easier (https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVehiHoQpDmAQwa9UrHXF9IBzHp3cUenE). It might take some trial and error, but it is well worth the switch, considering your average cup costs abt $35 and (if taken care of) can last at least 5 years. And as far as cleaning it you really only need Castile soap, a repurposed toothbrush, hot water and a decent stainless steel pot to sterilize it in (any company you buy from has a How-To page on the cleaning aspect. They will try to sell their Special Soaps DONT LISTEN ITS A SCAM! Just buy Castile soap and toothbrush same end result!)

As for the cloth pads, there are so many websites for them, and most offer starting kits. They cost more than your average box of disposables, but rather than lasting you a few cycles they’ll last you YEARS. This website https://menstrualcupreviews.net/reusable-menstrual-cloth-pads/ has a list of them. The only brand I can recommend I got off Amazon (guilty as charged) and are great for getting started. (wegreeco Bamboo Charcoal - Reusable Sanitary Pads | Panty Liners | Soft Cloth Menstrual Pads - 6 Pack with 1 Cloth Mini Wet Bag (Medium, Luxury ) https://a.co/d/cTf4mfF)

Ultimately, when I was considering switching I weighed the pros: 1. Save money long term, 2. No longer contribute to the growing pile of blood-soaked, chemical-ridden used tampons and pads clogging landfills, 3. No longer run the risk of introducing toxic chemicals to my body via products made by companies that don’t care abt consumer health; and the cons: 1. More money upfront (which can be circumvented by shopping around and setting aside some money as is feasible), 2. Having to get more comfortable w my body (which ultimately was a positive), 3. The gross factor (downside: yeah you’ll likely see the blood, neutral: it’s your blood tho and you know where it’s coming from; neutral: w the disposable vs. cloth pads the end result isn’t that diff beyond instead of chucking it in the trash you chuck it in the washing machine), and 4. The adjustment of carrying a few cloth pads around (instead of the disposables — not that big of a change).

End note: I did not mean to turn this ask into a novel, but I am just so passionate abt this topic. So many ppl will go into the minutiae of cloth rags and cloth napkins instead of paper towels and paper napkins, the evils of plastic straws, and reusable bags instead of plastic — but not a peep abt the amount of disposable products used for 3-5 days (longer if you’re unlucky like me), every month (or every few depending on birth control, irregular cycles, etc.), every year for decades (think between 3-4 decades depending on start time and menopause) for millions of women worldwide. That’s SO MUCH. And here are two, slightly difficult but worthwhile, choices that can decrease the amount of disposable products clogging up landfills by the thousands long term. As one of the websites I linked says: “The average American woman uses nearly 17,000 tampons in her lifetime — or as many as 24,000 if she undergoes estrogen replacement therapy. And that’s just tampons.”

HELL. FUCKING. YES! Thanks so much for chiming in, baby. We love it when bitchlings share advice with the whole class, so never be afraid to write a long ask with good information.

Here's that sustainable swaps article, as well as what we've written about menstruating while poor:

21 Ideas for Sustainable Swaps That Aren’t Shitty, Expensive, Greenwashed Garbage 

Blood Money: Menstrual Products for Surviving Your Period While Poor

If you found this helpful, consider joining our Patreon.

[salsedine]

🙤 Enjoyable Things 🙧

Tagged by @greypetrel , thank you! 💙✨

Rules: List five things you enjoy and pass it along!

1. 💧Water / the sea : the element I find most at home with. It's comforting and terrifying, as Nature often is. I like the deep-sea creepy fishes, I like swimming, I like books that get all poetic about water, and I like just walking by the seaside and watch the waves for a bit. It helps that I live very close to it, plus my father taught me how to swim very early. I'm not the strongest swimmer, and I hate that I don't have lungs strong enough to dive deeper than three or four meters, but I still get a deep sense of satisfaction and 'wholeness' every time I go for a swim after a week of filling excel tables.

2. 🧭 History and Art History : well, this will surprise no one lol. Got a MA in 'modern and contemporary history' and sometimes I wonder if I should get another one. I mostly specialized in the late medieval to modern period (Renaissance is my thing, yes) and then in the XIX-XXth century. I like museums and galleries, ruins and monuments, and old books. I actually wanted to specialize in museology/museum studies with either a thesis concerning accessibility, or on museums' role in preserving and creating memory.

Do I watch a lot of period dramas? Yes. Do I give imaginary lectures in my head when I'm bored? Maybe so.

3. 🫀 Dance : kind of a sore topic, but still. I practiced a lot of sports, but foremost I was (am?) a dancer. Mostly jazz/modern and contemporary dance, which is one of the closest forms of therapy beside actual therapy. And no, I don't mean it like some kind of " you should try to meditate!!1" thing, but as a "you need to allow other people to see you. While you improvise there should be no judgement because shame is the antithesis of creativity. If done with intention and full presence, the smallest gesture can be meaningful because there is you behind it" sort of thing.

Currently I don't take dance classes -but I still remember exercises and routines that I learnt more than ten years ago when I first started and I was in elementary school. Damn.

4. ✉️ Gift-giving : maybe it's a fancy birthday gift, maybe it's a silly thing from a market's stall, maybe it's something spontaneous - I just love picking and giving gifts. I'm not saying that I'm the best ever at it, I'm sure I fucked up many times, but when you see that the other person really likes the gift(s)? Pure serotonin. Love it!

5. 📷 Analog/Film photography : it was my Thing TM during my teenage years. I still love the almost alchemical process behind it, and the physical aspect too - once it's printed it's printed, you can't accidentally delete it. I like how, even with all the theory and practice, the outcome is always slightly unpredictable. And portraiture? Portraits taken on film are something special.

Too bad it's expensive, ugh.

Now, tag time! Maybe @birdkeeperklink is in a sharing mood? No pressure tho! 🌸

[fainthedcherry]

PARAMORE RELEASED THEIR A24 TRIBUTE COVER TODAY. AND I GOT INSPIRED BY THE LYRICS AND THE VISUALIZER.

IMAGE CREDITS BC VERY OBVIOUSLY THIS IS AN EXPERIMENTAL PIC COLLAGE PIECE PRIMARILY BELOW DESC (I DID NOT TAKE THE COOL PICS OBV.)

OK GIANT CREDIT BLOCK GO (Freepik and pexels my beloved saved my entire college year lmao):

1 OCEAN WAVES

2 OCEAN WAVES AGAIN

3 YES A THIRD OCEAN WAVE

4 VERY COOL DROPLETS

5 FLAME. OO FIRE PRETTYYY /POS

6 BG I CHEATED YOU INTO BELIEVING IS RAIN

The drawing though is made by my acoustic arse /lh

THE LYRICS ARE TAKEN FROM THE VID I LINKED. HAYLEY'S VOICE MY BELOVED AND FOREVER DEAREST ENTIRE BAND /POSPOSPOS. I wanna sing like Hayley so badly, she is such an idol to me, when it comes to vocals and I wish to sing as expressive as her some day 🤧✨💖

--

WHAT MORE CAN I SAY, OTHER THAN I'VE BEEN EXPERIMENTING WITH SHORT DRAWINGS, THAT TAKE UNDER A DAY TO COMPLETE TO FIGURE OUT SOME THINGS I WANNA DO AS AN ARTIST AND POSSIBLY COMMISSIONS. + These drawings genuinely kinda de-stress so it's been free therapy too, oops. I wanna do more of these vector-style drawings, that are just me taking lyrics and creating these fun collages, of things that inspire me or I like. It's a chill practice and lets my creativity actually do the work for once, instead of my usual need to outdo myself in every drawing and improve lmao. Improvement is cool and all, but dear god did I not realise how hard my need for perfection last year stress and strangle me tf out. I seriously need to re-evaluate the way I approach art as this massive, intimidating medium, when most artists literally draw for fun, and for me it's been like...A Sisyphean task.

--

If you enjoyed seeing this, I might make a sequel with C'est Comme Ca and w/ Marco in it instead and a red BG,, if I want to, I might turn these into a series, just like those aesthetic icon drawings I made of my 2 boys, started Lotta, and IMMEDIATELY lost that sketch due to my USB's death back in 2022 and lost all motivation for art due to that massive loss /neg

--

Not sure what else to add here other than my thoughts that I already did!! Other than ofc, the usual, MASSIVE thank you to my friend Hollowed-Hartlocke for introducing me to Paramore back in 2019 <3

Think I'm done rambling now tho!! OH WAIT. I can add, that I had to actually pull out Adobe Illustrator just to add stretched text for aesthetic purposes. Then I got so impatient with the effects panel not showing me the usual layer-effects and me being too lazy to look up, whether InDesign was the one, that had the usual layer effects I use in an Adobe program or not. Btw still mooching off my college acc that shoulda been dead long ago but just isn't??? LMAO I'M STILL GONNA USE IT IF I CAN ALRIGHT.

OH YEAH BTW. This drawing took 3 hours. NO I'M NOT KIDDING. PEOPLE WOULD PROBABLY BE SHOCKED THAT SUCH A LAZY LOOKING PIECE TOOK SO LONG. BUT I GENUINELY AM RATHER SHOOK THAT I TOOK SUCH LITTLE TIME TO CREATE THIS. TBF I threw MOST proportion checks and canvas flips I do out the window, so there's a BIG chance I will hate this, if I flip the canvas xD ANYWAY I RAMBLED LONG ENOUGH I THINK NOW. JUST ENJOY EXPERIMENTAL ART

^Before-bed edit; Yeah his torso's a TAD too much leaning to the left, it's off-center to the rotation of his pelvis to be in fact, but maybe? I'll roll with this mistake. It kinda gives the piece its abstract nature..I kinda like the mistake?? This is the first time in my life I ever tolerated a mistake I did and now declare it on purpose and will probably build one into the next piece as well. Hell, maybe it'll yield an interesting result. Anyway, it's 12PM as I write this, and I have to get up at 4AM for my train soOooo, yeah, gotta sleep ASAP for school.

I have NO clue again what to 100% accurately tag this, so forgive me if the tags are wrong LMAO, I just will believe what I believe it has overlaps w/ within art-genre.

This piece kiiinda gives pop art??? So I'm gonna tag it as such as well, but but might be incorrect. If a pop-art enjoyer wants to correct me, PLEASE DO. I'm going off the definitions of pop-art I learned in high-school. So I could most def be wrong about me adding this tag in particular. How tf do people confidently tag their posts when I doubt almost every tag I add man. Tagging is the worst part of uploading art to me due to how hard it is to label art really, not meant to be in a genre. xD

Def adding Paramore tags tho bc I NEED to know more Paramore fans out there bc we feel like such a tiny community, when they're literally one of the most influential rock bands of the 2000s and 2010s imho AUGH

[idiot-with-a-cat-pen]

otp questions fair game list but it’s by an idiot who can’t sit in a chair correctly

“pens you’re alive???!?!??!?” yes unfortunately anyway the list, minus a couple of them because they’re a bit nsfw and im not here for it

i’ll put it under a read more because im not a sadist

1. Who is the most affectionate?

clover. no justification just facts

2. Most common argument?

do u know,,,, what its like,,,, to be AFRAID of yourself??? i could hurt u! i could- (translation: qrow telling clover to Fuck Off before he gets hurt)

3. Who apologizes first?

clover. qrow is emotionally constipated and sits on the roof brooding until clover comes up to find him

4. Favorite (non-sexual) activity to do together?

board game night or some shit, idk. clover always wins

5. Who drives and who rides shotgun?

clover drives and scolds qrow for putting his feet on the dash

6. Who is most likely to carry the other?

clover initially but then qrow gets tired of him showing off and starts Picking Him Up to establish dominance in the middle of combat or something

7. Nicknames?

lucky charm and cloves are the obvious ones. soldier boy. dipshit. idk what clover calls qrow but it’s probably something disgustingly affectionate and qrow gets embarrassed every time

8. Who proposes?

clover probably, qrow is still in his “you dont want the burden of my name” arc

9. Who sings along with the radio?

qrow but in bird form ONLY

10. Who worries most?

probably qrow but poor clover is also pretty fuckin worried about qrow 24/7

11. Who always wants to take selfies with the other?

clover needs content for his instagram (which is private and has qrow’s account tagged with a bunch of hearts in his bio. qrow doesn’t even have a pfp. he forgot the password 3 years ago.)

12. Who likes to playfully tease the other?

yes

13. Who has the weirdest taste in their music?

qrow. his spotify is a mixture of the most emo ass shit, nightcore emo shit, and terraria boss music. 

14. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

clover. qrow remembers too but clover orders so

15. Who is embarrassed to take their clothes off in front of the other?

im sure clover has some form of trauma after the whole chapter 12 incident. i wouldnt be surprised if there was a fic already about clover’s insecurities around his giant ass chest scar

but like also it’s clover 

16. Who initiates kisses?

clover mostly

17. Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

also clover. qrow is too busy Repressing his Emotions to do such a thing but clover holding his hand is like therapy even if he wont admit it

18. Who brings an animal they found home?

clover brings a cat home. they name it lucky. they laugh for an hour then realize how stupid they are.

19. Who holds the umbrella for the other when it’s raining?

clover keeps trying to bring qrow an umbrella, but qrow runs away from it because he needs to brood in the rain

20. Who tries to playfully embarrass the other in public?

they’ve got a competition going. both of them are really good at the cocky act though so neither of them have cracked. yet.

21. Who kills the scary bugs?

qrow, with pleasure. clover tries to rescue them as much as possible depending on the bug. cockroaches are on sight tho

22. Who asks the weird questions at random in the middle of the night?

probably neither of them. they’re old, they need their beauty rest

23. Who hogs the blankets?

qrow. even if he’s overheating he still takes clover’s blanket

24. Who wakes up first?

clover wakes up at like 7:30 every morning and makes breakfast. qrow is both awed and disturbed by how well he has his life together. one time, qrow tries to pay him back, so he wakes up at 5am and makes an inappropriate amount of pancakes. (they have to invite nora over to finish the leftovers)

25. Who wants to stay in bed just a bit longer?

qrow emerges from bed at 11am on average. it’s rare to see him out of his pajamas before noon.

26. Who always makes coffee for the other each morning?

tea. but see #24

27. Who cries during certain films or when reading sad books?

clover. qrow absolutely didn’t cry watching the lion king, and even if he did, you have no proof.

28. Who gets scared during horror films?

qrow acts all tough when clover’s clutching a pillow in anticipation, but he falls for every jumpscare

29. Who cuts the other’s hair?

qrow is a master of cutting hair. his niece is yang xiao long.

30. Who says “I love you” first?

clover. qrow will pine away but will never say anything for previously mentioned emo reasons

31. Who tells their friends/family about the relationship first?

clover tells his family. qrow’s family tells HIM. yang and ruby get sick of watching him pine 

32. What do their friends/family thing of the relationship?

ruby and yang are just happy that their uncle qrow is slightly less edgy now. winter is happy for clover but will detest qrow until the day she dies just on principle

33. Who is more likely to ask the other to dance with them?

clover, i mean havent you seen the ballroom scene in v7? where clover asks qrow to dance and they end up getting married and salem leaves because she cant compete? what do u mean that didnt happen?

34. Who cooks best?

qrow is secretly a good cook but you would never know it by the way he pours milk straight into the cereal box

35. Who wears the other’s jacket?

I would say qrow because there’s no way his skinny man jacket fits clover, but let’s be real, clover doesn’t own a fucking jacket

36. Who uses cheesy pickup lines?

clover. have u met the man

37. Who makes the other laugh most?

clover makes qrow laugh a lot, if u count amused huffs as laughter

38. Who needs more reassurance?

guess.

39. Who would have to bail the other out of jail?

clover is usually the law-abiding half of the relationship, plus he’s part of the military so

40. What would be their theme song?

@synvamp (im sorry for tag syn) wrote an absolute banger for them. thats it. whatever universe it is, that’s the one

41. Who would sing their child back to sleep?

clover usually, sometimes qrow tries in bird form but lucky is one evil cat and WILL try to murder him

42. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

live their lives man wdym? clover sends qrow lots of texts though

43. A headcanon about them that stabs your feels?

canon.

44. A headcanon that mends the previous one?

my canon now

if you read all of this you’re a legend, see you in 6 years when i finally finish the next fic chapter

[izzytompkins]

***TW: Infertility***

.

.

.

Me 2 years ago vs. me last week. 2 years ago, my Dr confirmed I'd never have another child. I've always dealt with infertility, I had 5 pregnancies & only have 1 living child. But I was never ready for it to be final. I'd never tried to get pregnant after my last child was born, I was content with my son.

My partner I met 5 years ago & I tho, we never tried to NOT get pregnant. I told him it probably wouldn't happen without help, but we let it go 3 years with just "Well if it does, then it's meant to be." I told him on the first date "Hey, so the kids thing probably, I can't. So that's something you need to know. If you really want more, I'm not the one." And he said well together we have 2, so I think that's fine." After 3 years, I just needed to know if it was a possibility. The Dr. told me, "Look, you can GET pregnant , with help. You can't carry it to term. It will, at best, be a premature birth, & at worst, kill you. I'm not telling you what to do, but I'm advising you not to pursue this." So I came home & was like, so this is the deal. And that was that. My partner wasn't willing to risk my life, & I am thankful for someone who cares so deeply about ME, not just the kids. I thought I'd dealt with it. It's been 2 years & a vasectomy. He got fixed in case he dates someone else (we're not exclusive), or in the wild event a swimmer actually connected with an egg, even tho neither scenario has ever happened in the years we've been paired. He just was like, "If it's not you, it's no one." Which is a whole other level of commitment, I think.

But this year 4 ppl I've known have had babies (well 3, 4th is due in the new year), and we are peers. Like same age range. And I am really feeling my feelings. I haven't even been able to go meet the 2 that live here. I've just "been busy." Which isn't a whole lie but it's not the whole truth. I haven't even held a baby since my cousin had her daughter 6 years ago. I just...can't. I would really love to, but I've just pulled back into my bubble. Having pre-teens keeps me pretty busy, & I didn't have any friends with young kids that live close so I think I just didn't have a chance to confront the finality of it. But holding someone else's baby, being Aunty again, it's almost like ripping open a wound that's never even healed properly. I don't know if it will. And that's just where I'm at.

I hate being the friend that just "is busy." But like how do I even put it into words. I'm busy, because if I'm not then I don't know how to deal with this hole in me. I talk about it in therapy, a lot. It's helped. But it's still there. I just wanted it to be "meant to be." because my partner is an amazing dad. He's everything a partner should endeavor to be for someone, & supports me so much. I wanted that experience for us, very much. And I am a lot angry, but mostly sad, that we're not going to have that part of parenting or relationships. And being around people with fresh babies makes that pain so much more deeply felt. I just wish it was ok to talk about with ppl without it being awkward. I hate being a problem. I'd rather just isolate myself. Which is also a problem 🤣

2 years. I got old. 😒

12.09.23

[mvgnvsvntimvjoris]

All the cool "weirder" asks, which is maybe all of them? I dunno, I trust your judgment on which ones are the cool ones

I am SO SORRY, I read the ask, told myself to answer later the same days and managed to forget for ages ! But here it is, at last !!!

Weird asks, the cool ones ? You trust me too much with cool, I don't know how to identify cool !

I'll answer them all ! Thank you @mxcasual !

1 : Who is / are your comfort character(s) ? At the moment it might be Gale from Baldur's Gate 3 ? I need my escapism and he's a guy I'd geniunely be friend with. We would go to fantasy therapy together and do magic.

2 : Lighter or matches ? : Matches, I need that scratch before it ignites, it's a primal need ! Also I am just bad with lighters...

3 : do you leave the window open at night ? : If it's not too cold, yes, bring me that outside AIR

4 : which cryptyd being do you believe in ? Sadly none ? I wish for mothman tho, they seem pretty cool

5 : what color are your eyes ? Boring blue, YAWN

6 : why did you do that ? I don't know !

7 : hair-ties or scrunchies ? Scrunchies all the way, velvety black ones if possible

8 : how many water bottles are in your room right now ? Two, one empty and one full !

9 : which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee ? I tried both in various combination and I just don't like coffee when it's not in relation to desserts.

10 : would you slaughter the rich ? Yes

11 : favorite extracurricular activity ? Dreaming ?

12 : what kind of day is it ? I thought we were sunday but it's saturday night

13 : when was the last time you ate ? An hour ago, maybe two ?

14 : do you love the smell of earth after it rains ? Yes, and it drives me mad that I've lost my sense of smell years ago (not covid related, way before that).

15 : are you a parent ? Yes, of two cats, I wish I was a better parent to them

16 : can you drive ? Yes, had to !

17 : are you farsighted or nearsighted ? I never remember which one, but I have glasses !

18 : what hair products do you use ? uuuh Shampoo

19 : imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails ? Absolutely, but don't you dare painting mines, I hate the feeling of it, I have to scratch it off really quick

20 : do you say soda or pop ? Neither, here we say the drink's brand and that's it

21 : something you’ve kept since childhood ? Everything I could, but as one exemple a piece of a door handle I broke. Still have it. I like it.

22 : what type of person are you ? I don't know how to describe myself at all, I'm sorry

23 : how do you feel about chilly weather ? I love it but it doesn't and has me on a hit list.

24 : if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing ? Watching the sunset or the stars, either talking or enjoying silence together

25 : perfume/body spray or lotion ? None ? Allergy is a bitch and strong smells are deadly

26 : a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times ? IRL ? Because I'd have to answer : Failing at something

27 : about how many hours of sleep did you get ? Oh no, uh well last night was a mess, got 2 hours and I'm about to explode because of it

28 : do you wear a mask ? Yes

29 : how do you like your shower water ? Not too hot, barely body temperature, just enough

30 : is there dishes in your room ? No !

31 : what type of music keeps you grounded ? Classical, shits make me cry almost all of the time

32 : do you have a favorite towel ? I have one, my own, not really favorite just here to do the job !

33 : the last adventure you’ve been on ? Going to a concert in another country by car, does it count ?

34 : is there a song you know every word to by heart ? Way too many, sometimes I don't even like the song, but it's engraved. I need brain space but the songs won't go

35 : what’s your timezone ? uuuh, CET ? It's 10pm right now

36 : how many times have you changed your url ? I think twice, because I had a christmas one once

37 : someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years ? My oldest friend, went to school together when we were 12 and still being gentle annoyance to each other ! Also I'm pretty sure i have tumblr mutuals who count too

38 : a soap bar that smells good ? I don't know : ( loved lavender

39 : do you use lip balm ? No, can't stand the texture on my lips, has to get rid of it immediately...

40 : did you have any snacks today ? No, but I had two meals ! (little victories)

41 : how do you take your coffee ? I don't

42 : an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site ? Instagram, another godforsaken site

43 : what’s your take on spicy foods ? I like it a lot, my stomach likes it less :o)

44 : you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it ? Uuuh....********* ******

45 : can you remember what happened yesterday ? A bit ? Showed a monsters book to my oldest niece, then I watched her play minecraft while I played Animal Crossing, made dinner, talked with the fam, watched 3 hours documentaries on the weather, then movie critics, then I fell asleep.

46 : favorite holiday film ? I...by default I think Nightmare Before Christmas ? But that's more because I first saw it when I was a kid (like 6 ?), a familly friend gave it to us as a Christmas movie and VHS's opening short film kind of traumatized me ? I love it for halloween now tho

47 : what was the last message you sent ? "La lumière t'attend !"

48 : when did you first try an alcohol beverage ? Well one christmas when I was a child (no idea the age, around 7 ?), family left and I tried to finish a red wine glass, it was disgusting

49 : can you skip rocks ? YES, it's so fun ! Been years !!

50 : can i tag you in random stuff ? Of course !

[shesay]

I need some advice. I recently was broken up with and I'm reeling from it. We met when i was 19 and he was 32 and we ended up hooking up 6 years ago. He didn't tell me until after we hooked up that he had a wife which started a crazy feud, but he eventually divorced his wife and convinced me to be in a relationship with him. The relationship was pretty rocky at first because he was very emotionally abusive. Like he would constantly reprimand me for doing the wrong thing and saying the wrong thing and would lecture me for hours and not let me sleep until I agreed with him. I used to live with him sometimes because my mom got evicted and i couldn't hold down a stable job because I had an untreated learning disability and he would pick fights with me every day when I would say/ do the wrong thing and sometimes he would even kick me out.

While he did all this its v confusing bc he was also very good to me at the same time?? He helped me out when I was evicted and let me live rent free with him. He helped me get my diagnosis and helped me look for a job. He helped me get over some of my insecurities and would urge me to go to therapy and helped me get my driver's license. The last 2 years he started becoming more spiritual and became a lot nicer to me (He would still reprimand me but not as often) and urged me to do yoga and meditation. He started getting serious and during that time he was throwing ideas around of leaving everything behind and going to a yoga center etc. I was so drained atp from the constant mistreatment and feeling like I wasn't a priority so I went outside the relationship to explore my options. i met a guy that I was going to meet for dinner and just talk to, but I was drugged and assaulted. I felt so guilty that I told my boyfriend and he broke up with me. This was a year ago. Since then, we've been on and off because he would come back but couldn't commit because he couldnt trust me. Early this year he moved to a different state and he reached out to me to ask if I wanted to visit him out there in the summer. I was cautious but I agreed because I missed him. We started calling and texting every day and he started hinting that he wanted a relationship with me again. I started catching feelings again and was grateful for the opportunity to make things right because I fucked up. I bought the plane tickets and two days after I bought them he told me that he was getting women flirting with him out there and that he wanted to explore his options. I was so upset and I asked him why we couldnt work things out, he told me he still couldnt trust me after what happened. He told me it's best if I get a refund on the tix and just stay home. I felt so crushed, I felt like I was lead on and I feel so ashamed and guilty over what I did. The worst part is I felt like I ruined everything and it's my fault that the relationship ended the way it did. What do I do???? I have no friends and no one to talk to.

Omg 😭 idk how 2 advice u 2bh even tho I'm 20 and girls my age have been through alot of similar situations yk long term dating etc but I haven't thankfully anyways u were only 19 so young and naive and he was 32 🤮 and married he obv has no shame and u don't deserve what he made u go through and getting drugged and assaulted I can't imagine how horrifying that must be I'm v srry manifesting and praying 4 ur happiness and peace 💗 honestly i think uv been thru alot and u should take a break from males and focus on urself and ur own journey yk and i pray that u find good women friends who luv and cherish u.

[dramaism]

tag some people you want to get to know better! tagged by @seawherethesunsets thank you so much, sya, that was fun! <3

three ships: sae bom x yi hyun (happiness), jang uk x naksu/mu deok/bu yeon (alchemy of souls 1 & 2), kang doo x moon soo (just between lovers). for me it's either "us-against-the-world" chaotic couples or "let's-be-soft-and-healty" couples. there's no in between.

first ever ship: i don't really remember, it was a long time ago. but i assume it was either delena from the vampire diaries or ivan x julia from el internando. these two were the first tv shows i've ever watched i was like 12 or something

last song: "shallows" by daughter. perfect winter soundtrack

last movie: shang chi rewatch. don't really watch movies these days just rewatching some

currently reading: fanfiction, lots of it - ao3 my beloved :) also i've been trying to finish "tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow" by Gabrielle Zevin for 2 monts already lol and failing every attempt. i really love the plot but it's just aghhh reading an actual book when i need to focus my attention to it is not fun for me anymore. i read and write a lot on my job so i don't want to read on my free time too. my brain refuses to do so

currently watching: - island: on ep3 but gonna put in on hold till the next season comes. - when the weather is fine: started this because of lee jae wook, he has a cute role here - just what i needed after aos. but it's soooo slow i can't bring myself to finish even 2 episodes. and i usually love slow paced dramas idk what's happening this time. i also came to conclusion that i don't like the main couple at all so i might just watch ljw's scenes. second couple seems cute tho - crash course in romance: love my milf/dilf romance. actual adults behaving like adults - delicious. - rewatching extraordinary you: this drama is still out there being as unique as 4 years ago. also now i'm eating up jae wook's role in this even though i hated his character when it was airing. i guess aos melted my brain

currently consuming: my favorite korean variety shows, they bring me comfort

currently craving: a very long walk. the thing is - it's very slippery outside, it has been like that for a month so i can't walk for long i get tired easily. walking is another kind of therapy for me, i'm struggling

tagging lovely people i'd like to know better (without pressure of course!): @oswlld + @natahjikio + @xiaolanhua + @pannakorn

[ffriluftslivv]

hello hello!!!💛💛

My dear Luuu how are you?? Tell me something great, I hope you're having fun! :))

I am doing kinda good actually, I DID have ✨️the maturità✨️ like you said when we last talked and it went so amazingly I cried so much, so yeah sono matura ora ihihihi

but girl, let's gossip cause we need to catch 👏🏻 up 👏🏻 (this is very long, bare with me please)

so do you remember why I started writing to you in the first place? Because of that friend of mine (let's call her G) who was growing distant and I wanted to give her a gift so I made her a CD, great.

(This was so long ago and I'm so grateful for all your sweet words through the years, I will say that forever THANK YOU‼️😭)

That also means that I don't remember at all what I've told you soo quick context: G has always been great but we always knew (we as in me and my best friend let's call her M) that she struggled a lot with mental health, we always tried to support her in any way so when she started drifting away we told her that it was okay to take some time for herself "just let us know if we have done something that hurt you, we love you, take care of yourself" all of that. And after that it was complete radio silence for like 4 years I think (except for one time 3 years ago we all met then she texted us, it's not that important and I don't even know how to explain it but it was the last time we talked).

Me and M have thought about G basically every day since then, you know when they say "a girl's roman empire is her ex best friend" exactly that, so she was always on our minds, sometimes in a negative way, because she never explained what actually happened, she just vanished and we just assumed (this was the quick context, god I'm so sorry).

AND THEN YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?? Almost two months ago I receive this message from an unknown number and the first line reads: "Hi *my name*, this is G".

My heart was beating so fast you don't even know. She basically said that she's sorry for treating us badly, we didn't deserve that and some very sweet and appreciated stuff. But do you wanna know why she only texted me now? Because she said that she opened the CD that. day. JULY 2024. Girl I was c r y i n g. I don't know, this is very dramatic, I know I am, it's not that I'm angry at her for not opening it sooner it's just that the message completely changed all of my ideas and assumptions about her. I replied apologising as well, she replied back, done. This is (I HOPE) the end of all that but it was the weirdest day and I thought I should let you know because we wouldn't be here in the first place, so I guess thank you G for this ahahah

Again I'm really sorry😫 I don't possess the skill of summarising (this isn't even all of it so I guess I do to some degree ahaha), I hope you understand what I'm trying to say, the thoughts are many and confusing. I definitely have regrets about my past behaviour, I tried my best and maybe it wasn't enough I have to accept that, but I definitely grew a lot.

(Also if you are wondering, M is the one I thought I had a crush on, that one ahahah. About that, let's just erase it from our memory it was not a crush, it was something strange that I don't want to remember lol. Still don't know if I like girls tho😔)

I just felt like I went to therapy oh my, I'm sending you everything you want for compensation🙏 if you want to tell me some long gossip I am all ears ofc (the rumours are true, sono una pettegola)

I love you so so much, hugging you a lot and wishing you the best months!!😘😘✨️🌻💕💞💗

-toothless🙃

hiii omg!!! you sent me this such a long time ago, I'm so sorry it took so long for me to respond 🥹

i just came back from the sea after spending a few days there, and the weather blessed me with some beautiful sunny days😽 i spent 5/6 days in the same place i went to in August for the summer holidays, and I was missing it so badly that I needed to go back for a few days in September, after finishing my uni exams (which, btw, went extremely well, im very proud of myself☺️)

I had such a great summer full of new and exciting experiences, I am so so happy but at the same nostalgic that summer has already come to an end🥲

omg I'm so happy for you!!! let me know if you're planning to start uni, I'm really curious 😽 I cried after my high school exam too!! it was such a relief to leave that room knowing that I was freeeee!!

I'm truly sorry because I really couldn’t remember why you started writing to me in the first place but it's been so long and im so happy to have a pen-pal here on tumblr!! it's actually kinda crazy if we think about how many years have passed🤭

omg that's crazy!! I always think about how all of our life events are tied with one another in some way and this is truly the demonstration🤯 it must have been nice for the both of you to clear things up after such a long time! I'm very happy for you and your friend, whom I hope is doing well now🥰

it's okay! you don't have to pressure yourself into discovering what you like. you'll eventually have your experiences in life and you'll be able to understand what's for your and what is not, trust me 😚

just to be quick, I do have some gossip🤭 I met a guy this summer and let me tell you, I felt like the main character of a summer love story!!!! (he is also one of the reasons why I went back to the sea for the past few days hehe) he is just so thoughtful, funny, empathetic, intelligent just a man written by a woman, really. he's very attractive and very tall, too🤭🤭🤭🤭 he cooked for me, he brought me on his scooter, he helped me with grocery shopping, he took me to see the sunset while having aperitivo and so many more amazing things😭 I literally cannot believe I experienced all of this, it was truly a man sent by heaven, I have no other explanations🥹 unfortunately it cannot be ~more~ than a summer romance since we don't live in the same region, but I'm so glad to have met him, he's truly a gem ☺️

ily too!!! I hope you had an amazing well-deserved summer😚😚💌

[moot-lover]

Things I just can’t seem to say to my own therapist bc I’m afraid of going back to the psych ward.

TW: S@, Divorce?, abuse, swearing, $h. @n@

.............................................................

A lot of ppl don’t know this abt me but I used to go to speech therapy when I was 3. That prob explains my shit English so bare with me a little :3.

Yk I guess you could say my whole life my parents fought. My own father told me the reason he sent me to speech therapy bc he didn’t wanna argue with my mother. I remember always hearing my mother and father fight every week. My job was to try to stop the fight or just protect my sister. I basically stepped up as a mother for my own sister because my own parents couldn’t because they always fought. I did struggle with psychosis at 6-8 at the same time.

I remember it going downhill all in 2019. I always saw these posts saying “I wish it was still 2019” to be honest 2019 was one of the worse years of my life. One of their fights got heated and the police where involved. When everything calmed down they told me and my sister they were gonna get divorced.

You could say their divorce was a huge blow on me. My sister too but my sister got over it quickly. She can accept reality quickly but I can’t. I remember trying so hard to try to fix my mom and dads relationship. I couldn’t accept the divorce for years. And maybe there’s still a part of me that still can’t. I’m not really sure.

I was forced to change schools. I was way happier in my old school but I’m somewhat grateful to have changed schools bc I’ve met some of the greatest ppl in my life. Which I will always appreciate so much. But yk that school had its downslides just like any other school. But ive been sexually harassed in this school too. I couldn’t feel safe. I couldn’t be happy. My friends were the only reason I actually liked going to school. I always afraid of being near the guy who SAed me. For 2 years this went on for. 2 YEARS. I didn’t get help from anybody. Not even my parents. I felt so neglected it’s crazy.

Then yk this year (new school now) I’ve been struggling with my depression and anxiety more now. I was on new medication almost every 3 months because none of them work. I’ve been sent to the hospital so many times it’s crazy. (I was sent to the hospital 4 times or something in my old school) I think I’ve been sent to the hospital 7 times by now. Tho I met an amazing friend. Or so I thought. She made me happy. I thought I was finally gonna get a good friendship. That was false. She SAed me so many times it’s crazy. She gr00med me, and by the state I live the closest thing to this is s3x trafficking. I was called a liar. No one believed me to the point only my closest friends and my mom, grandma, and my sister believed me. The worse part she knew I was SAed before. And she has a gc where she shit talks about me and tells her friends lies about the situation saying “She’s just jealous I have friends and you don’t”. I remind you that she made fun of my sh and me taking my medication for depression. It’s crazy still after all this evidence she lies and her friends still believe her.

During the same time my eating disorder rised up. I feel like I can’t eat. I feel like if I eat I’ll be fat. I’m scared of gaining weight. I’ll go crazy to lose weight. I’ll walk in circles to lose. I stay up trying to lose. I try to avoid so much meals and my parents can’t allow me to skip meals which makes me go even more crazy.

And literally 2 days ago my grandfather was diagnosed with kidney cancer. I feel horrible. I don’t feel happy.

I want help no I need help. I feel like I need someone to love me but I can’t find anyone who can. And all my exes we break up on bad terms or on neutral terms. I don’t wanna get into them because I’m over them by now but I dont feel loved. I love this girl but I know she doesn’t love me back. I can’t either feel love and when I do it’s obsession. I don’t feel healthy and I can’t keep a healthy relationship. I want someone who I can hold onto. Maybe feel like, “this is okay I’m finally home”. Which I know I won’t ever feel that way. I’ve been abused and harassed for so long I’m so desperate for someone to love me. I’m not okay. I’m so tired. I just wanna be happy.

And that’s my little vent ig.

[tendousthoughts]

OMG YOURE BACK

i used to check every day to see if maybe you came back but after a while i lost hope and even after you posted about why you’ve been offline i still checked every day but then i gave up BUT YOURE BACK AND IM SO HAPPY

i though about sending something to see how you’ve been doing but i didn’t wanna bother you in case you wanted to be alone and have some time to yourself

anyway hru?

- 🍍 anon

OMG DHDHDH okay i keep checking in randomly so i’ll probably do that more in case u answer. tbh i thought u forgot about me so i’m glad ur still here <3333. idk when this was sent but u don’t know how happy i am too see this.

ANYWAYS. im good hbu??? i love fall season sooo yk, being able to dress up and everything is so nice.

anyways what have u been up too???? i missed talking to u sm. hopefully ur well <333

OMG I FORGOT TO SAY SMTH.

alr alr i am working on this NON fanfic related story.. it’s like 20 google doc pages already and i’m not even halfway done. as always it is bxb and uh it is angst bc yk how much i love to make people cry. it is focused around two people mainly, one being a ghost and the other being his ex lover. it is told in the ghost perspective. the basics follow how he has to watch as his ex lover falls in love again, and all the misery that has followed his death. including how his ex lover blames himself bc of the mc death, and how he reflects on how badly he had treated him while he was around (even if that reflection was due to other people forcing it into his head). it shows therapy visits, fights with new lovers, gravesite visits, and much more. SO IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED AND SEE THIS PLZ TELL ME SO I CAN KNOW IF I SHOULD POST IT HERE. i promise my word choices and my actual writing is better now <333.

UPDATE:

i feel so bad the last time i posted/checked in was 3 months ago. i need to do it more. i’m so sorry :( don’t be mad plz.

ANOTHER THING I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT:

alr heres one of the rare times when y’all get a inside of my life. there is this dude who me and him liked eachother last year but nothing happened. he got this rlly big glow up this year but that’s besides the point. anyways so he has alr had like 2/3 girlfriends in the last 4/5 months :((( and like every time he breakup with them he hits me up. and my irl friends tell me to literally block him bc at this point i’m there just as a rebound but like whenever we talk it’s strangely nice yk? anyways i don’t ever talk to him in person even tho i see him like a lot :( maybe bc last year we ended with nothing happening. i do not want to date him bc i know how that will end but yk at the same time we only talk when he breaks up with a girl and that’s just idk. too much for me.

another guy: One of my friends is also like seemingly rlly into a guy who i had a past fling with. we ended bc we fought over smth important to me, but he still doesn’t see a problem with.. he went to ask my friends what’s happening in my family bc i didn’t want to tell him.?? lucky my friends just pretend not to know. (it was smth else btw.) anyways but we have yet to talk again and i’m pretty sure he’s gonna ask out one of my other friends.

- xic (i forget how i used to sign off sorry :(((( , y’all don’t be disappointed it’s been so long)

[nukenai]

i try to do “exposure therapy” to myself and it’s like. idk it’s so weird to talk about bc it almost sounds like i’m joking or making light of shit.

but a lot of my ‘exposure therapy’ to try to slowly (over the course of a decade even tho i really only recently started actively doing it) lessen my Trauma over Baddest Things is listening to the Mother 3 soundtrack. What’s awful is that like, The Trauma(tm) has even leaked into giving me some bad feels about Earthbound which has DONE NOTHING WRONG.

idk if I’ve ever really explained this but like. Mother 3 is a severe trauma trigger for me now despite being one of my favorite games of all time. Here’s a list of things that are legitimately true: I had a mom who really, really loved sunflowers. They were here favorite flower and she always decorated all our houses with them. I’m a younger sibling of 2, and I grew up being the much shyer one compared to my much more outgoing older sibling. In 2011 my mom died of a brain tumor at age 47, which is uh, arguably young. She was sick for a little over a year and I basically had to watch her deteriorate and I didn’t actually get to spend tons of time with her while she was in the hospital for the last 4 months of her life. I am very haunted by guilt for this.

Ever since Dead Mom O’Clock I really like, cannot discuss Mother 3 and it’s extremely difficult to see any content from it. Obviously some days I’m more sensitive than others. It feels so STUPID to be so ~sensitive~ about a video game but I can’t even begin to describe how important the Mother series was to me, and how it was often the only thing I had while we were dealing with domestic violence and homelessness.

Anyways I was in a really horrible place when i Only had Mother back then and then I found SMRPG which became my New Big Thing and felt very symbolic of moving past that point of my life. So this shit is Significant(tm) to me so that’s why I was upset over the whole Geno shit it wasn’t just “i like a character but he didn’t get into smash boo”. Idk. I feel like a fucking dork for trying to explain “it’s deeper than that” when I’ve had my friends bullying me over it for 10 years because they think it’s funny and that I’m shallow and a weirdo for caring so much

I felt like I was struck dead when they cut Lucas from Smash 4 but like, one of my last memories of Satoru Iwata was him presenting Lucas as DLC and it’s just a whole bittersweet pile of Me, Crying.

uhhhhh so I guess I have an update, I bought a shirt from Yetee of Lucas and Boney sleeping in sunflowers that I like, felt agony about all day and I felt sick looking at it. And I was like “man, I don’t wear yellow!” but I bought it anyways like an hour before the sale ended because I don’t know. Maybe I need to try just a little harder to work against this.

I CAN say I’m much happier since I took a huuuuuuuuuuge step away from Super Smash Bros and have not even played it in over a fucking year. I’m still very angry at the disrespect p much literally everyone in my life gave me over my legitimate feelings and it’s taken me a long while to come to terms with the fact that no, I was the correct one, I’m allowed to feel how I’m feeling even if people are “annoyed” by it or think I’m weird. I’ll probably never confront the specific people about it because it won’t be worth it and they’ll just dredge up times I was Rude Once or whatever idk.

I’ll die mad about some shit but I’m definitely a lot better and even if no one on earth has acknowledged it, I’m proud of myself.

“nuke your mom died 11 years ago get over it” i’m working on it bitch, call me when YOUR mom fucking dies when you’re 20 years old and grew up extremely sheltered and dependent on her for literally everything

nobody has said that to me before but damn if I don’t feel it lol. I have very few friends with dead parents who can remotely understand but I appreciate those who are like “damn, fuck, I feel what you’re going through and i Get It” y’know. Sometimes you just need to have someone who Gets It.

I’m going shopping tomorrow I’ll be ok, just a long emotionally taxing week.

wanna hear a fun fact, i have a copy of mother 3 in english and i tried playing it and got like 10 minutes into chapter 2 and had an extremely severe panic attack and haven’t played it since whoops. i’m just trying to play a fucking video game. come on.

[known-as-naya]

What’s your favourite thing about the Klebekah dynamic and your fave scenes? What was it that drew you to them

Thanks Yuki for asking this, it took me hours to think of all my fav scenes but it was worth it lol ❤️

My fav thing about the klebekah dynamic:

So, klebekah. I simply love them if it isn't obvious by now lmao, their codependent and dysfunctional toxic relationship fascinates me so much. They're litteraly the most important person in each other's life and I love that, I love how they understand one another with just a look, I love how they never gave up on each other for a thousand years despite all the betrayals, I love how they adore and worship one another, I LOVE THEM.

Rebekah was the person klaus loved the most in the world (besides hope ofc) it's actually funny how most of the fandom doesn't realize the impact she always had on him, she was his humanity for a thousand years, she was his constant (along with Elijah ) and he was hers, and as we saw on the show Rebekah was the person he showed affection the most.

As for rebekah, Klaus was the man she ADORED since she was a little girl, he was her big brother, the person she wanted to be like when she gets older, her protector, soulmate and best friend. Rebekah was the only person who never actually tried to change him, she loved him as he is during a thousand years and I LOVE THAT.

-The thing that drawn me to them:

Are a lot of things but THE CHEMISTRY was what made me fall in love, fun fact: but the first time I discovered klebekah I was watching a tvd scene on YouTube a couple of years ago and coincidentally it was their 3×03 Chicago flashback scene with Stefan, and I thought they were a sort of threesome of something lmao and when I knew they were siblings I was shocked but continued to ship them anyway cause why not.

What are your fav scenes ?

Oh boy, this is a very DIFFICULT question cause I practically love all their freaking scenes, but I eventually have to choose so there you go:

-I'll begin with tvd:

-There's 3×03, of course, THIS WHOLE EPISODE IS FULL OF INCEST. the "I'm not your girlfriend", the "choose him or me" Klaus' jealousy, the eye sex, the daggering session, the hand holding, EVERYTHING SCREAMED KLEBEKAH. This ep was such a strong introduction to their strange dynamic.

-3×04: my fav thing about this ep is Klaus taking rebekah to shop and being a child about it. He was so done with her already but at the same time so happy to have her around again. I loved the surprised expression on Stefan's face the whole time, he was not used to this side of Klaus, he was not used to Klaus being wrapped around someone's little finger. I loved their little conversation when she was trying that dress and she said something about women in the 21th century dressing like prostitues and that she got dirty looks for wearing trousers and then Klaus said you wore trousers so women today could wear nothing. Lmaooo it was hilarious.

- 3×15: "I hated you when I learned that you killed our mother but after a thousand years together as a family you're the only one who never left me "

" Aren't we a pair ?" THIS MF LINE GETS ME EVERYTIME. I don't have words to describe what it does to me but I love this scene and the fact that Klaus thought that rebekah was going to show him her torturer's skills makes it better.

-3×18: " you destroyed our family" "I wanted a family they just didn't want me, and now that we're unlinked we're no longer responsible for each other" "so are you leaving ?" "As soon as a get my stakes I'm gone..... I'm gonna make a NEW FAMILY of hybrids" "and if I choose to stay ?" "Then you're just as pathetic as Finn " THIS WHOLE scene was a masterpiece, them looking at each other like that makes me wanna give them a hug:

-3×20: it wasn't really a klebekah scene cause it was Esther in Rebekah's body but the way Klaus smiled at her and agreed to go to the dance JUST for her melt my heart.

-3×22: oh gosh this one, breaks my heart but love it so much " how dare you save Caroline over me ?" " You left me !" "it's always been me, not Finn not Elijah no Kol ME, I LOVED YOU through everything and you don't even care " and then he chokes her and say something he -IM SURE- regrets immediately "you know something rebekah you're right I don't care, from this moment on you're not my family you're not my sister you are nothing " and then he breaks her neck. I HATE THIS SCENE BUT I LOVE IT. these two needed couple therapy. Klaus was horrible, she watched him die, she mourned him, her heart broke. He could've told her about his plan tho ? I'm still wondering why he didn't but I guess he was just being an asshole as usual and took her as granted. And him saving Caroline over her was not it.

-4×04: the flashback hunter scene "YOU TRUSTED HIM OVER ME " "WHAT DID HE PROMISE YOU " "TELL ME REBEKAH " it was like he caught her cheating on him lmaooo. On the same episode there's the famous line "laugh at the girl who loved too easily but I would rather to live my life than yours Nik, no one will ever sit around a table telling stories about a man who couldn't love" the way he looked down after her saying that breaks my heart, cause Klaus could love, he LOVES her, then he daggers her -cause he's a paranoid bastard- and he cries about it.

-Let's switch to TO scenes:

-1×02: this episode is one of my favs but the best scene was when Klaus was choking Hayley after he learned that she wanted to abort the baby then, rebekah slammed him against the wall (it was hot tbh lmao) and she said "it's okay to care, it's okay to want something that's all Elijah was trying to do all he's ever wanted for you, all we've ever wanted." The way he looked her deep in the eyes gets me everytime, he was trying so hard not to cry. Then they sat together, exhausted, and Klaus told her about his plan -that involved giving Elijah to marcel lol- and if she doesn't like it, there's the door.

-1×03: one of my fav episodes too and it has so many good klebekah scenes, “that depends what plan you mean love my plan for global domination or rebekahs plan to find love in a cruel cruel world”  then she giggled and threw a pen at him so lovingly lol. They were teasing and all flirty with each other in front of Hayley and they acted as nothing happened the night before and Klaus never gave Elijah to marcel, after that they teamed up and everything was going fine but Klaus happened. then there's the masquerade ball scene when Klaus called rebekah " you really are a hideously evil little thing aren't you "

and them being jealous watching marcel and cami dancing. later in  this ep theres the famous “you disgust me” scene, the tension was so thick i acually thought they were about to kiss and have sex on that damn piano lmao but klaus as usual disapointed rebekah, she trusted him against all her better instincts and he choose to act against her back cause he thought his plan was smarter.

-I'm not sure in which episode this scene is but I remember Klaus telling rebekah "you were quite resourceful today..... sometimes I think I don't give you your due little sister" it was so cute cause Klaus knows that he doesn't give Rebekah enough credits, and she was so happy to hear him say that.

-1×14: the famous "YOU CANNOT HIDE FROM ME REBEKAH" this episode had me crying the first time I watched it, Klaus was so angry, disappointed and hurt, he could not believe that his baby sister did this to him, that he was in denial for almost a century and he for that she must pay. "Rebekah would not call my father no matter how angry she was " "enough of your lies" even after seeing the truth from the source he still couldn't believe it cause he loved her so freaking much and he thought she did too.

Then them fighting and Klaus getting turned on by her beating his ass up

-1×15: this mf scene.

The kiss, THE FREAKING CLOSE TO THE LIPS KISS. the sexual tension in this scene was HUGE, Klaus finally "set rebekah free" and he was DRUNK doing it. "We don't have to run anymore, we've found a home" and the look on Rebekah's face is priceless, she was shocked and almost guilty cause at this time she has already called mikeal and Klaus was a little too late.

Also in the same episode, THE BLOOD SHARING. Look at them just look at them.

-1×16:

THE BABY MIKAELSON FLASHBACK !! OMG, this scene melts my heart. "Don't be afraid I won't let it hurt you " "will you stay with me till the storm ends ?" And he did stay with her no matter what. I love this scene cause it shows how close and protective they were of each other since forever. Then he gives her the wooden knight so she can be brave. I'm soft.

Then there's this one too ! I love how Rebekah was actually the only one to ever stand against mikeal, she even tried to kill him, just for Klaus. So much devotion.

I'm still not over this one, the hurt on Rebekah's voice as she says those words, Klaus's tears, the whole episode was so angsty but this scene was IT. and then he realised what he did to her, that instead of protecting her he was hurting and suffocating her so he did something he's not used to do, being selfless, and he let her go.

The 1×22 scene: LITTERALY on top of my fav scenes list ! Klaus giving hope to Rebekah proved how much he trusted her "there's no one I would trust more with my daughter's life" and the fact that she came back just for him (and hope) proved that she never really wanted to leave, she just needed a little freedom. Then when he handed her the little toy I WAS IN TEARS OKAY, it was so soft. They were so happy and relieved to see each other again.

-2×09: "if anything goes south I'll be there to pull you out" "you and I on the same team it must me Christmas" he promised to protect her at any cost and she knew he will. Them teaming up against Esther was so great, then the "take me instead" , Klaus was WILLING to sacrifice his immortal life for REBEKAH, if this isn't pure love then I don't know what it is.

-2×17: another episode losing his shit because his wife-sorry sister is in danger. He let Freya enter his mind just to save her (and he was so suspicious about it cause he didn't want her to know his strategies but in fact he was just afraid she'll know about his questionable taste in woman lmaoo)

And this mf scene is so cute, look at their smiles, the forehead touch, his hand on her neck, here on his arm, FOR YOU FOR NOW. I can't believe this is actually canon.

-2×22: "family tradition!" "Minus the family."

"Well, you're here."" In the skin of your choosing, no less."

"Well, poor you. Because that body is such a hardship."

"You would hand over your crown? And do what?" "Raise my daughter... with the help of my sisters. One big, happy family."

" Now, that does sound grand-- minus the giant, Elijah-sized hole in the room. And, whilst your sisters raise your child, what will the child's mother be doing, exactly?"

"This, dear brother, is not what happiness looks like."

This scene was so important, Klaus was wrong and he needed someone to remind him that what he did was not necessary, that he hurt most of his family, and rebekah was there for that. He wished she'd stray with him to "raise" his daughter but after this scene we see Freya offering her Eva's body so she leaves.

-3×09: "you're always leaving" "and I always come back" THEN THE DAMN HUG. their hugs are always so good, the way they close their eyes and hold each other tight and they seem like they never want to let go of each other. Then she has to leave and make Elijah dagger her without telling Nik, cause she wants Nik to be happy for once.

-3×22: "wasn't you who once told me I could talk my way out of hell " and then they smile affectionately at each other and HUG tightly. After this he took her hand and they both walk to their possible end, and she watches him getting stabbed by marcel after she was forced to say all those things she did and didn't think. The whole trial scene was a masterpiece. I love it.

-4×02: this EP was full of klebekah soft scenes. There was the reunion HUG . the way she runs to him the second she sees him and the way he reaches to her and hugs her tightly to his chest.

The kiss on the cheek after "thank you for not abandoning me" and the way he smiles at her was so SOFT OMG.

-4×03: the goodbye hug "Nik you do not need me anymore, I know that I'm your fav sibling and of course I adore you" "you were the only one who never treated me like s misfit, for centuries my only place was by your side...." AND THEY HUG TIGHTLY AGAIN. this was the first time Klaus let Rebekah do whatever the hell she wanted without fighting or daggering and it was revolutionary to her. (The fact that she's his fav sibling and she KNOWS it makes me so happy lmao).

-5×01: their phone call about Elijah. They were both so lost and devastated without him it broke my heart. "How does he look?" "Happy.."

-5×08: "ah Nik always so dramatic"

They were so happy to be reunited after 7 years of being apart, look at them hugging each other so tightly. I LOVE this scene.

-5×12: then there's the goodbye scene, Klaus gave her the cure so he can make up for a thousand years of hurt, "live the life you've always wanted to live, MY SISTER" the way he looked at her so proudly, so in love makes me cry. In my opinion he gave her the cure so they can reunite again in the afterlife. Both him and Elijah can't live or die without her, they're supposed to be together, they're meant to be together and the cure will bring her to them, to him, again. It was such a good scene, the hug, the last glances, everything.

And that's it!!! I'm sure I forgot some other scenes but those are the most important. ❤️

[puppy-phum]

2020 – a (content creator) year in review

I decided to make this into a mix of these two games I was (kinda?) tagged into so thank you for @leonzhng and @tiesanjiao ♥ I hope you don’t mind me doing it like this ^^ all the questions were just so interesting that I wanted to try!

(bc of the amount of questions, I’m placing them under a cut so that I don’t flood anyone’s dash) 

Me

(this is the 2020 year in review that hanyi tagged me to ♥ sorry am so late!)

Top 5 Movies you saw this year

wow tbh I didn’t watch many movies this year as I realized yesterday when I was thinking about this for certain reasons. Or at least I feel like I didn’t watch that many? Nothing really stuck with me it seems.

Because of this, I will only mention two: Parasite and The Old Guard. Those were both wonderful in their own ways and I’m very happy I got to watch them both ^^

Top 5 TV shows you watched this year

this one is difficult bc I watched so many (and forgot even more?) but:

The Lost Tomb Reboot (my introduction to DMBJ. this drama stole my heart and helped me through the tough autumn semester!) 

Joy of Life (it’s nuts that this happened during 2020? it feels like it was ages ago)

Kingdom (such a positive surprise and I really hope we get more of this :o I really recommend!)

Detective L (easy, nice aesthetics, amazing costumes. Bai Yu was a delight as Luo Fei)

Sand Sea (I am still baffled by how much I loved this bc I had so many doubts? am happy I did tho)

Bonus: Guardian (bc it has come to stay and the rewatch has been so emotional but so rewarding)

Top 5 songs of 2020

this is a tough one too bc I’ve heard so much new music during 2020 but I will try to put it simply:

Black Swan by BTS (I absolutely adore this song. I listened to it on repeat when it came out at the beginning of the year, I have cried for it a ton, I enjoy every stage I see for it and it’s just a masterpiece. it has also helped a bit with my writing struggles that I’ve felt creeping up on me lately)

Always by By The Coast (an amazing song that always leaves me in my feels. inspires me a lot all the time)

Love me or Leave me by DAY6 (this whole album was a masterpiece and I listened to it on loop for like. two weeks? this was my favorite song on it even if I adored the rest too, especially Zombie)

all of my life by Park Won (listened to this a lot in relation to my xicheng and the wedding I finally got to write for them ;; that’s one good thing that came out of this year tbh)

雨人 by 刘畅 (Liu Chang) (with the Reboot’s ending song, this one is my favorite on that ost. I love Liu Chang’s voice, I loved Liu Sang as a character and as I said, I loved Reboot as a drama. I get super emotional about this ost so I think it defined this year a lot for me)

Top 5 books you read in 2020  

All For The Game -trilogy (listened to these as audiobooks but that counts right?)

The Song of Achilles (as an audiobook too and really adored the reader’s voice)

The Smoke Thieves -series (I really just binge read the two first books in this series and am so excited for the next one!)

Call Down The Hawk (love love love)

Guardian novel (am not very into these novels usually but I was positively surprised this time? it was so cool to finally get the original story and compare it with the drama version)

5 positive things that happened in 2020

joined mdzsnet and met all the amazing ppl there and got to become part of this loving community and :’) I’m so thankful, it’s been a joy

learned more about editing? or started doing it regularly. I still can’t do shit but am having fun learning more all the time and I really hope that maybe the upcoming year I can switch to PS and try out giffing?

went to Halsey’s concert! it was in february so a bit before all the hassle with covid happened over here ;; it was super cool and so nice and I just. I love Halsey

fell into the DMBJ hellhole which am very much enjoying. it’s a great universe and the story is so good and the dramas have been so fun to watch and. it feels like a good continuation to The Untamed somehow haha (also brought me a new friend! you’re amazing ashen!! ♥)

started therapy and it’s been... a journey. but towards something better I think? it’s something I would’ve needed ages ago but it’s better late than never I suppose

My Creations

(this is the other part where ali was being super sweet and mentioned me ♥ thank you for being so awesome!)

1. first creation and most recent creation of 2020: wow it’s been a while since I’ve looked at this horrible creation but here ya go jkdhgk [x]. I’ve come a long way from this (and my xicheng has come a long way from this too). most recent one is this xiaoge edit that I absolutely adore [x]. 

2. one of your favorite creations from 2020: this wwx edit that was part of my agust d2 edit series [x]. I loved to give him blue instead of his typical red. 

3. a new style you tried this year and a gifset edit that uses it: this [x] wwx edit which I don’t know if I like or not but I was playing around with the font and all the effects instead of just normal screenshots + coloring. also I just adore the quote. 

4. a creation to be proud of: I could mention that xiaoge here but in addition, I will also say this wu xie edit for reboot [x]. I managed to capture my vision so well, I was surprised. for cql, this songxiao edit [x]. I loved how it turned out in the end. 

5. a creation that took forever: this wangxian edit [x]. like I’ve said several times, I lost sleep bc of it. I just kept struggling with the third pic and how to place the text there D: 

6. your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: this lwj/wangxian edit [x]. I had many ideas for this edit when I first started making it and I never managed to capture my vision in the way I first intended... the pictures I was supposed to use just never fit quite right sigh. I dunno why it was this one that gained all the notes in the end bc I personally think I have better ones too but am still thankful :’D 

7. a creation you think deserved more notes: as said, dmbj fandom on tumblr is very small so I really want to say the two already mentioned ones (wu xie and xiaoge) and then my pingxie edits [x] [x]. also these wwx edits which I personally am very happy about [x] [x]. and from my agust d2 series, this yun bros one [x].

8. a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: really just dmbj this year and I’ve already linked all of my creations for that :’D tho I have plans for another pingxie edit and a liu sang edit! oh and maybe I could mention guardian here with this shen wei [x]. I had so much fun while making it (also the quote just haunted me relentlessly until I gave it a moment). 

9. a creation you made that breaks your heart: this must be my easter islanders (lwj and jc) edit [x] that just. awoke many thoughts in me? I’m going to put a link to the version where you can read my ramblings underneath :’D 

10. a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: my creation for the creator (gif?) challenge that was going around! [x] it was simple and nice to do and I loved the result. also, it was nice to work with jl for a change :’) 

11. a favorite creation created by someone else: oh wow ok so this is going to be rough bc I have so many favorites ;; you can look at this post here [x] to see more! 

but to love my two taggers am going to say these [x / x] [x] [x] [x] [x] by hanyi (I always love your edits, the colors you choose, the thoughts you put into them (and your humor too!). there are so many cool things you’ve done that I just stay in awe of! I adore all of it ;; ♥) and these [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] by ali (I love all of your gifsets so much, they have such pretty colors and such good scenes, and I am thankful every day that you make all the amazing dmbj content, pls never stop ;; I should go through all of your creations properly one day! I noticed you have sand sea stuff too and let me scream?) ^^ ♥

12. your favorite content creators and blogs that you appreciate: this is going to be a huge list and I’ve already made my love heard for some but no hurt in doing it again so @i-am-just-a-kiddo @ashenwren @tiesanjiao @kholran @lzswy @englishbunnyrocks @leonzhng @aheartfullofjolllly @yibobibo @inkblue-black @cross-d-a @bloody-bee-tea @fytheuntamed @mdzsnet @lifegoesmon @creeds-eagle @underaswift-sunrise @sarawatsaraleo @lan-xichens @mylastbraincql @wangxianbunnydoodles @manhasetardis @distantsnows @ohsehuns @minmoyu @linglynz @highwarlockkareena @yiqiie @aowyn @alienwlw @wangxiians @kingbadcat @sassyassassy @tytangfei @lanzhannnn @skzmxtp @leoyunxi @yoonqiful @softjeon @rapbabenamjoon @ronan-adam @miyakuli @pavusdorian @arsuf @brolinskeep @gawincaskeyy and so many others! (sorry for all the random ppl on this list that I’ve never even talked to ^^’ just know that you make my dash a wonderful place! ♥) 

I won’t tag anyone separately here but everyone who’s already been tagged or sees this is free to do this (or link me posts if you’ve done these already!) ♥ have a nice day everyone!