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#I still remember that night so well
whenthegoldrays · 4 months
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Hmm
#pondering#I can’t believe it’s been a year since I gave up on my last crush#it seems like so long ago I feel like I’ve lived eight lifetimes since then#but it also feels like just yesterday#and yet I feel so…. distant from him#I mean I also never see him anymore#the only reason I did then is because I’d seek him out#and even then….#idk what I’m trying to say#just that things change#and myself of two years ago would be amazed#that I’m able to have a normal life and think about him minimally and painlessly#because two years ago I was in the DUMPS#I went through this intense phase where I just felt like I *had* to be with him and got to the point where I’d just cry out of fear that#that I’d die before I got a chance to make him fall in love with me#it was so bad I was so paranoid and lovesick and and and.. ough#I still remember that night so well#it was also a Wednesday like today and it had been an awful day and I had a headache#and I just thought. I can’t take this anymore. where are we even going. he’s never going to notice me never#i GIVE UP#it was mostly an impulse but looking back I’m so glad I followed that particular impulse#it’s like when Edmund walked out of Mary’s house not because he was super resolved but more on an impulse of the moment#just felt like the thing to do. and I may have regretted it once or twice afterwards but in the end it absolutely WAS the right call#and a couple months later YOU-KNOW-WHO showed up#absolutely insane events happening to me last year.#but now ​I feel like the girl from that one video#“girl who is going to be okay” djdjdhdh#but really! I will be!#and I am even! just taking it one day at a time#elly's posts
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technically-human · 2 months
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St. Hilarion's ghost story
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bacchuschucklefuck · 2 months
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class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhfy#fhsy#fhjy#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#my class swap stuff! oh yeah I think I got a tag for that I'll call that#fh class quangle#gna slowly go back and get that tag on relevant posts too. for organization's sake#even tho I didnt really intend this blog to be that kinda blog lmao. we were all just gonna be out here dealin with that at our own pace#anyways uh! they! u know all the lore for the designs already I put em in tags. but otherwise this also collects like the#color keys kind of for these. mostly the things that change between designs#doing this did make me realise half of these are a Lot more consistent in color keys than the other half lol#like kristen's palette stays pretty much the same. and fabian's. the hit's mostly in the construction#a lot of this is overall like an exercise in remembering what high schoolers would actually wear and how to work in Costume pieces#on this point at least I straight up have No relevant recollection lmao all the basic education establishments I went to have uniforms#and outside of school I was. well kind of a shorts and tee guy. so#on that topic I feel like fabian's is the furthest stretch lmao. like if a guy in high school wears the same bright yellow raincoat#to school every day that's like. people would Not like that guy. fabian really is saved by being cute and a rogue#he will still have stans when he's deep in his fishing arc in junior year he's the manic pixie dream bf#anyways uh. things to do! stuff to get done. sleep first tho. have a good night lads#I have not caught new nsbu yet! seems I mostly catch them like two to three days late nowadays.#so please uhh. don't reply on my posts with nsbu spoilers? we are all excited and having fun but that's rude#ok thank u. signing off for the day have a good night#!!
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wigglebox · 4 months
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Destiel Pride - Day 6; Profound bond
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spaciebabie · 1 year
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love loses
based on this post
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sp1resong · 2 months
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remember my name - mitski
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dawnthefluffyduck · 3 months
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Crazy issues that come up when a character is written a little too well
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airenyah · 28 days
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I started to wonder why you always step in between me and Star. Or you have feelings for... You weren’t afraid to tell her your feelings. Unlike me. Don’t tell me that you…
Ep. 1 || Ep. 3
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mamawasatesttube · 7 months
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man. you know, i clean forgot about it, but now that i'm thinkin about it again, i think one major reason i haven't written much queerplatonic konbart is that i did do that in sotm, but people like. don't read author's notes i guess. it wasn't a TON, but there were enough commenters that were like "omg, this kind of reads like youre going for the ot3" that it got grating on me like. hey. hey listen. hey. not every intimate and committed relationship needs to be romantic. do you understand me. ive said so many times i write bart as aroace, and his and kon's relationship is deeply committed and very affectionate without the romance. augh.
which i mean... i have nothing against romantic konbart like i do enjoy that too!! but my favorite flavor is aroace bart + queerplatonic relationship. and i kinda like,,,, idk. idk. my arospec ass is just preemptively tired of having to explain that over and over again if i ever start writing them more often. 😔😔😔
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ef-1 · 8 months
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girlhood
#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day#like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again#and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her#I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her#and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again#“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her#growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain#and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when#people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it#but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one#and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her#lol!!!!!!!!!
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alexcabotgf · 9 months
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not to be true crime posting on main but i think i'm falling down the wm3 rabbit hole again
#xenia.txt#when i tell you this case keeps me up at night to this day#not even the murders themselves as much as the general public's reception to and opinions on the case 3 decades later like#i get why it;s always been so divisive especially after the pl docus came out (lots of opinions on those btw none of them are good#from the bottom of my heart fuck you joe berlinger and bruce sinofsky)#but it's truly baffling how no one is willing to do the research on what is arguably THE most well documented true crime case in recent#history like. everything that's ever been released to the general public is available online and i mean everything#you can find all the court files trial transcripts depositions interogation tapes aerial photos you name it it's out there for anyone with#internet connection to access at any and all hours of the day#and yet people are still foaming at the mouth fighting on reddit abt their innocence based off nothing but a couple of movies like#bffr with me right now!! almost every point the innocenters make can be easily debunked by scrolling through callahan for 15 minutes#'but they've been pushing for dna testing since their release so they can't be guilty' baby the case is closed!#it's been closed the second they took the plea. they can be striking under that courthouse and it still won't change a thing and they knowi#that's why they're pushing for it in the first place but that's just my opinion#^ and i say they but it's really only echols which makes a lot of sense to me personally#and if you want to talk abt dna testing let's talk abt the one that was done in 2011 and how the defense hurried to propose the plea as soo#as they got the results! let's talk abt those cause no one's ever seen them and i would very much like to#braga share the results the people want to know!!#makes me wonder which pieces of evidence they even submitted for that 2011 testing because if i'm remembering correctly#there was one that would've closed this case instantly and maybe that's why the results were never disclosed and the plea was rushed#but that's also just my opinion#and it's also interesting how the majority of people who have in fact deep dived into this case#(and i'm not talking abt big true crime youtubers as i'm very sceptical abt their research abilities)#all collectively lean towards guilty. much to think about#i was hoping someone would make another ~actually~ unbiased documentary for the 30th anniversary and go over all the case files#but i don't think that's even realistic at this point seeing as everyone and their mother has some sort of an opinion on this case#hbo deserves another lawsuit for this. they should've never won the first one in the first place#true crime tw
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animalcrossingshowdown · 11 months
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Hourly tunes round 1 results:
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1pmNL 85% / 1pmNH 15%
1amNL 82.9% / 1amNH 17.1%
8amNL 82.6% / 8amNH 17.4%
8pmNL 81.8% / 8pmNH 18.2%
11pmWW/CF 81.4% / 11pmPG 18.6%
11pmNL 79.7% / 11pmNH 20.3%
4amNL 76.9% / 4amNH 23.1%
7pmNL 76.5% / 7pmNH 23.5%
11amNL 75.5% / 11amNH 24.5%
Noon WW/CF 75.3% / Noon PG 24.7%
10pmWW/CF 73.9% / 10pmPM 26.1%
2pmNL 73.3% / 2pmNH 26.7%
9amNL 73.2% / 9amNH 26.8%
9amWW/CF 72.7% / 9amPG 27.3%
3amWW/CF 72.5% / 3amPG 27.5%
6amWW/CF 72.1% / 6amPG 27.9%
Midnight WW/CF 69.8% / Midnight PG 30.2%
11amWW/CF 68.9% / 11amPG 31.1%
9pmPG 68.6% / 9pmWW/CF 31.4%
1amWW/CF 68.2% / 1amPG 31.8%
6pmWW/CF 67.5% / 6pmPG 32.5%
3amNL 67.4% / 3amNH 32.6%
5pmNL 67.2% / 5pmNH 32.8%
Midnight NL 67% / Midnight NH 33%
cut at the halfway point bc there is a per-text-block character limit
4pmWW/CF 66.6% / 4pmPG 33.4%
8pmWW/CF 66.2% / 8pmPG 33.8%
3pmWW/CF 65.9% / 3pmPG 34.1%
5pmPG 62.7% / 5pmWW/CF 37.3%
2amWW/CF 61.7% / 2amPG 38.3%
9pmNL 60.5% / 9pmNH 39.5%
7amNL 60.4% / 7amNH 39.6%
2pmWW/CF 60.2% / 2pmPG39.8%
5amNH 60.1% / 5amNL 39.9%
3pmNL 59.7% / 3pmNH 40.3%
10pmNL 59.1% / 10pmNH 40.9%
5amWW/CF 58.4% / 5amPG 41.6%
2amNH 57.2% / 2amNL 42.8%
10amNL 56.2% / 10amNH 43.8%
1pmWW/CF 55.5% / 1pmPG 44.5%
6pmNL 55.1% / 6pmNH 44.9%
10amPG 53.6% / 10amWW/CF 46.4%
7amPG 53.2% / 7amWW/CF 46.8%
8amPG 53.2% / 8amWW/CF 46.8%
Noon NL 53.2% / Noon NH 46.8%
4pmNL 52.5% / 4pmNH 47.5%
4amWW/CF 51.9% / 4amPG 48.1%
6amNL 51% / 6amNH 49%
7pmPG 51% / 7pmWW/CF 49%
I colour coded these again since I found it difficult to parse with all black text. I tried to pick four of the available colours that are easy to tell apart while avoiding red and green since that's the most common type of colourblindness. I gave NH yellow and PG purple since those are the hardest to see on light & dark themes respectively and I figured those colours wouldn't be around very long lmao
round 2 starts tomorrow!
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icyfox17 · 8 days
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Homeeee:)))!!!!
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pink-lemonadefairy · 9 days
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#probably my last sunny walk at home :(#keeeeellll meeeee#i think one of the things i hate about going back to uni is not being able to experience autumn and winter at home like i used to#it’s weird because i’ve always loved them and considered them my favourite seasons.#but last year (and now this year) i’m realizing that oh! i think it’s because i got to come home after a long day and be in a safe familiar#space. and at uni everything is still a bit unfamiliar and not very comforting so the long cold days get so much harder#but i will surviveeeeeee#counting on gilmore girls to get me through it!! and also love is blind s7. i LOVE having things to look forward to every week it makes tim#fly by so fast. last yr every friday night was reserved for me and i ate frozen pizza or takeout and/or my favourite snacks and#watch my comfort films :( i cooked a lot those nights too 2 save money but yeah. it was rlly nice to have that comfy safe time to myself#i think it rlly got me thru uni.#ik it’s gonna be so hard to get back into a routine but im trying to tell myself that i need to like. focus on the basics first. adulting#can be so hard & i wanna do everything at once! i wanna b perfect in all areas. always do my hobbies. etc etc but i#i couldnt even get out of bed to make myself meals sometimes 💔 so i need to like remember if i don’t journal or read a whole book in a day#not the end of the world. and most importantly i need to be EATING and staying active and SLEEPING FIRST and foremost cause then hopefully#i won’t feel like a zombie.#okay anyways.#feeling sad feeling tired feeling unmotivated but also feeling a teensy bit excited for finally BEING ALONE!!!!#i have my cardiologist appt tmrw so maybe that’s why i feel so yuck also. just thinking abt it makes me wanna throw up#i hope everything goes well#anyways bye bye#♡ dear diary…
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cranberrymoons · 3 months
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.
#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you” and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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moonchild-in-blue · 4 months
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Oh.
#according to facebook memories (why do i even have that still??) 12 years ago today i saw Linkin Park for the first time 🥺#in a few days it'll be 10 years since the last time i saw them#and. hm. there's a lot that surfaced this days since clancy dropped and i'm a bit more emotional / sensitive than usual#and this is. well. making me extremely sad.#12 years ago. i remember as if it was yesterday. i cling to that day so much and i'm scared of forgetting about it#i wonder how 14 yo me would've reacted if she knew.#they were my first gig ever! i remember the 2nd song was given up and the people around us started moshing pretty hard.#so much that my shoe came off and my dad had to shield me while i crawled and looked for it hahaha#it was so fun! i didn't really know that was a thing#that day was the first time they played Lies Greed Misery - it had been released just the day before#my videos are SO blurry but i still have them all saved 🥹#idk i've been in some typa mood these past days. not necessarily bad at all but.#me and a couple friends had a very important conversation 2 nights ago which was GOOD but. the bad thing about letting everything bottle up#is that once you spill it's hard to deal with. and yeah this is. idk. i'm just venting here like. ignore me.#it's just really hard for me. i miss him terribly and i'm really scared for myself because i *know* i'm back in the loop#and it feels so hopeless sometimes. maybe this is super silly but i'm so thankful that Clancy came out now because OH BOY i need it#maybe it's not the best strategy to put so much faith? importance? in like. music and other people but#man. i genuinely don't know if i'd be here if not for certain songs/artists etc#idk I'm rambling lol. i might delete this later#probably. maybe. i try not to talk too much about this here because i tend to deal alone but. sometimes it's nice to send things to the void#anyways. support your favs. talk to your friends - even if you much rather not. don't be like me and let things rot inside.#🤍#darya talks to herself
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