there’s a question to be asked i think about to what extent “getting out” can be conflated with “being saved” in this show, and what freedom actually means to any of these characters.
like you can argue that shiv saved ken by voting against him on gojo, but what if your intent behind saving someone is to inflict a worse punishment than if you’d just left them trapped? can a child weaned on poison survive on milk, or are you just sentencing them to a death by inches, starved of the only thing they know? and if you save someone specifically because you know that being saved is the worst thing that can happen to them, is that kindness or cruelty? at what point does a good thing become a malicious act?
and you can say that roman is finally free, but what exactly is he free from? the company? his father? does unlocking a cage mean saving a dog, or are you allowing him out on the street knowing there’s a kill shelter nearby? if the driving anxiety behind roman is that he’s an idiot and a failure—that he’ll never amount to anything, and trying will only lead to pain—and he’s finally cut loose once all of those anxieties have crystallized into cold hard fact in his mind, what has he actually escaped from? if the cage is in your mind, is it even possible for somebody else to unlock it?
the fundamental truth of a tragedy is that even being saved can be a death sentence, if the characters are incapable of escaping the thing doing them the most harm (themselves and their childhoods)
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To counter my art slump I played around with a little "What if" with Keiki. What if the crew wasn't around to adopt him?
In this alternative universe, he was instead feared and they tried to eliminate him before he grew too big. They failed and instead created a fearful monster.
Made a little drabble to go with the image!
CW: Fear, dehumanization, that's it I think
The Ocean Watch had lost track of the big beast a few weeks ago, keeping all sea travelers on their toes.
Captain Boone was no stranger to navigate through the Serpent’s Isles, named after its high population of sea serpents. The serpents were nocturnal, making daytime travels perfectly safe.
Or so he thought.
An ominous rumbling and the distant crashes of waves brought the captain out of his daydream. Soon it was followed by the fearful cries of his crew to look towards the cliffs.
For a delirious moment, it looked as though the ocean itself was rising into the sky.
It kept rising.
And rising.
The captain and the crew all came to the realization that it was a head, taller than the very cliffs around them. A cold, blue eye locked onto their ship; they had unknowingly stumbled upon the great beast. Boone struggled to take in its features, everything on its face was so absurdly large.
How did he miss it sailing into the isles?
The beast pulled its lips up in a snarl.
An overwhelming sound filled the air, the sheer volume of it making everyone on the ship cover their ears, the vibrations rattling their very bones.
It went on for a few seconds before mercifully petering out. Able to gather his thoughts again, Boone realized that it had been a vocal warning from the beast. All reports from the Ocean Watch inform that the beast only offers a single warning before striking a ship down.
He immediately ordered his first mate to alter their course, praying to the gods that the beast would understand that they were heeding its warning and turning around.
The turning of the ship felt agonizingly slow for all of its occupants holding their breaths and watching the immense beast intently. The isles trembled as it adjusted itself ever so slightly, sending a hail of boulders tumbling into the ocean below.
If the cliffs hadn’t been between the ship and the beast, the captain didn’t doubt that the waves resulting from the movement would capsize them.
To all of their relief, the beast did nothing else but watch as their ship turned tails. Its lips went down over large fangs again but it kept the glare until they were little more than a speck in the horizon.
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Here's a quick. Thing. They're All God's (except LBH) AU. This is like, the ending. no i dont explain anything. i just wanted lqg to get melted down and rebuilt. you know, as gods do. this does have an open/unsatisfactory endind just fyi haha
When he loses the first time, Liu Qingge refuses to acknowledge it. It doesn't matter, after all, as long as he tries again he can change something. He returns the second, third, fourth, fifth times.
He has lost count when he realizes that the something he has changed is in him. With the same heaving blood soaked breaths he coughs up at Luo Binghe's figure, something has been changed in him.
Of course. He cannot be the God of Breakthroughs if he cannot break through.
He keeps losing.
Each battle he marches into is another dig at his once spotless reputation. He feels his divinity and grace slough away from him like dried mud. Still he faces Luo Binghe every day.
It forges him into something else.
When Shen Yuan reawakens, not dead but Ascended, Liu Qingge stops his fruitless battles.
Shen Jiu is with him. At some point the God had shed the title of Qingqiu as trees lose their autumn leaves. Still the God of Bitter Fall and Uneven Ground, of Unfair Advantages, but now also of Cunning Thought and Persistence. He hasn't changed, Liu Qingge realizes. He's just revealed more of who he is.
Shen Yuan is, as always, Shen Jiu's compliment: God of Bountiful Harvest and Smooth Travels, and of Cutting Words and Sloth.
Shen Yuan has, thoroughly, molded himself into the perfect God for his precious demonic pet. Luo Binghe will never want for a single thing ever again with the God of Easy Living walking by his side.
Liu Qingge wants to avoid them both. Everyone else is already aware, but from these two he wishes to hide his failures for just a little longer. However, the core of him is settled in such a way that he cannot find it in himself to pull away.
They want to see him.
It's no surprise that when Yue Qingyuan invites him to a banquet, Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan are there as well. As ever, Yue Qingyuan's bias shines through.
"What did you do?" Shen Jiu snarls from across the banquet hall.
"Who— oh Qingge!" Shen Yuan turns and catches sight of him as well.
Tension rises in Liu Qingge's body but—they've already seen. And if, somehow, they are too dense to understand, any one of their God siblings will explain it. Poorly. So Liu Qingge stays.
Shen Jiu is, of course disgusted. Shen Yuan intrigued.
"I thought once gods Ascend they do not change." He comments curiously.
"They don't." Shen Jiu hisses. "They can adapt perhaps. Split. Acquire or shed new epithets or old ones as we have. But they do not change. If they stop being what they are, then that God simply ceases to be."
"It's as it is." Liu Qingge shrugs. "I'm still a God—"
"Of cycles." Shen Jiu accuses.
"Reliability!" Shen Yuan insists. "Qingge is always dependable."
"It is no great thing if you can only depend on him to lose." Shen Jiu's dark gaze is calculating and Liu Qingge understands that, somehow, Shen Jiu knows the whole story already. That he simply needed to see Liu Qingge to fit the pieces together.
"He doesn't lose!" Shen Yuan defends, loyally. "Qingge has always been there when we needed him!"
Silence descends on the banquet hall like an awkward blanket.
"What, did—have I missed something?" Shen Yuan asks, glancing sharply around.
Yue Qingyuan, belatedly, ushers the rest of his guests out. Liu Qingge supposes he must be grateful that Luo Binghe isn't here to enjoy rubbing Liu Qingge's nose in it. Shen Jiu will, assuredly, have no problems doing it instead.
"It's exactly as Shen Jiu says." Liu Qingge starts. "Fighting Luo Binghe has irrevocably changed me." He says.
What he doesn't say: I cannot win against him now even if he deigned to throw the fight.
Perhaps, to Shen Yuan, the change isn't so dramatic. Shen Yuan had never wanted Liu Qingge to win that battle anyway, and Liu Qingge has ever been Shen Yuan's most reliable God-Brother.
Once upon a time, Liu Qingge was a War God. There were and still are many gods of war: strategy and prowess, blood and conquering, weapons and trade.
Liu Qingge was the breakthrough. The final push. The turning of tides. The culmination. He had never failed to turn a lost cause into victory, there had never been a battle lost to him if he meant to win it.
But then Shen Qingqiu became two, and then Luo Binghe built a shrine and Shen Yuan wasn't prepared for his tribulations and then—
Well.
Liu Qingge is a War God. Of Cycles, Shen Jiu says. Of Reliability, Shen Yuan insists. He is the God of forlorn hope, of having only one spear and one sword, of hunting phoenixes in mirrors. The same battle retread for the same reasons.
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harringrove angst (kind of mean steve for those who aren't into that)
thinking of steve and billy having bad fights after starting a relationship, and during those fights steve always brings up the night at the byers.
steve doesn’t really know why he does it, him and billy have made amends, they’re together now and they love each other. except, he kind of does know why he brings it up. it wins him the argument. billy goes quiet and hurt and they don’t fight anymore.
because billy doesn’t want to be like neil, wants to show steve (show everyone) that he’s better. he knows he fucked up, that he’s not perfect and probably never will be, but he thought steve had forgiven him. that they’d forgiven each other, because steve apologized to him too. and how can billy bring that up without looking like he’s making excuses? can’t say you hit me too or you know what happened before with my dad or what was i supposed to think about what i found?
eventually steve does it so much that they stop fighting completely. and, yeah, steve no longer has to deal with the arguments, he and billy don’t scream at each other until they’re both in tears anymore. it’s the best they’ve gotten along since they got together or, well, ever.
but he’s also lost the shy smiles billy gives him when it’s just the two of them, and the little laugh that billy is embarrassed of, the one that hiccups out of him and scrunches up his nose. and, most importantly, he’s lost the quiet nights where billy opens up to him, about the abuse from his dad, and how he felt when his mom left, how much he misses her and how he wishes she’d loved him enough to take him with her.
maybe steve starts getting angrier, and more hurt as time goes on and billy doesn’t open back up. he decides that if billy is going to withhold things from him, steve should start being able to take things from billy too. they still have sex, billy still sighs into steve’s neck when steve slides into him but steve starts not kissing billy, turning his head away when billy tries, turning billy on his belly when billy gets too persistent. leaves billy to clean up by himself as soon as they’re done rather than stay in bed holding each other, enjoying the afterglow together like they’ve always done before. stops taking billy out with him when he hangs out with the party or the other teens, stops telling billy when he goes out at all.
and so, the resentment starts to build up, for both of them, and they’re right back where they started, fighting and screaming at each other. but neither of them will leave. they love each other, after all. steve refuses to have another failed relationship, because what does that say about steve? that he isn’t good enough, loveable enough, worthy enough, just not ever enough. and as much as billy doesn’t want to be like neil, he also doesn’t really want to be like his mom either. doesn’t want to abandon steve like his mom abandoned him, knows how it affected him, how it made him feel, and he won’t do that to someone he cares about.
so they stay stuck in this endless cycle because maybe steve loves billy and billy loves steve, but they don’t always like each other, and they definitely don’t trust each other.
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