#I still want to write and I will but I i mutes the server for awhile

[toodelusionalforreality]

Azriel x OC | Chapter 5

Relic

Both his brothers are mated. Both his brothers are happily in love. But after five centuries of rejection, Azriel doesn’t hope for such luxury in his life. When he meets the bar owner who is too mysterious even for the spymaster to decipher, his intrigue turns into more. Lines between mystery and secret blur. The more he gets closer to her, the more his instincts warn him to stay away.

Word count: ~4.6k Warning: None [not enough editing/formatting]

A/N: This is an experimental piece of work. I'm testing a writing style, so feedback is welcome. Going to pretend to be some big shot writer and dedicate this chapter to the ones who encouraged me to keep writing. And my favourite reader (you know who you are, hopefully).

Previous Chapter: Shadow

The doorknob twisted under his fingers and Azriel gritted his teeth at the soft click. Mercifully, the door made no more sound. Darkness and quiet awaited him on the other side, while a haunting aura loomed behind him in the hallway under the fading sunlight. The hag was nowhere to be found.

Everyone except Ayla had known who he was, yet something changed after that day.

The last time he walked into the bar, Raya glared from across the room stopping him in his steps. She and Uri exchanged hissed whispers before the server led him out to the streets. He croaked out a “We’re closing soon anyway” with an apologetic smile and shut the rusty door in his face.

And, the hag—gone were the expectant eyes and the grateful smile when Azriel returned the next night. Instead, he faced a creature twice as large as him with knitting needles in one hand and jagged talons out in the other. 

Nonetheless, it warmed his heart and calmed his mind that Ayla was cared for.

Grumbled curses seeped through the wall on his side. His shadows wound tight around him. Clapping his wings close, Azriel wedged through the gap and shut the door carefully, praying it didn’t alert the hag.

A second passed and another. Sweet silence embraced him.

‘We’re closed.’

Azriel whirled around.

The room seemed to stretch far and long in the darkness with thick curtains shielding the windows. Stacks of wooden trays, empty glasses, and filled crystal decanters piled on the counter. Behind it, Ayla reached on her toes and placed a bottle on the shelf. A lone lantern burned a muted golden above the bar illuminating her.

‘I really need a drink,’ he uttered the first words that came to his mind, cursing himself for the senseless fool he was.

Her hand went rigid. Ayla stilled, and time and space froze with her. If not for the wisps of hair fluttering with her every breath, Azriel would have believed so.

None of their previous encounters ended on a good note. After the last time, he needed to clarify himself. If his mate deemed him vile, Azriel preferred she hated him from close. But in her silence, it struck him. She could be the one behind her friends’ defence, commanding them to keep him away.

‘Lock the door.’ She said a moment later, adding another bottle to the display. ‘I don’t want anyone else to believe we’re open yet.’

Resisting a smile, Azriel tested the knob again. He and her, alone in the empty bar—dreams truly did come true.

Once he settled across from her, Ayla faced him. She looked at him, unblinking. 

Azriel waited. So did she. He fumbled into his pockets and his fingers caught in the leather. His heart sank. He remembered stuffing a pouch with gold marks explicitly to bribe the hag if needed.  

Ayla laughed, the sound echoing through the air, chasing away every thought from his mind. She had blessed him with her smiles before. But this, it was beautiful—more so than her melodies, like the chime of a willow.

‘I was expecting your order.’ Her shoulders shook as she picked a glass from the pile. ‘Spare your money. The bar is still closed, remember?’

Heat crept up his neck. Azriel smiled yet ducked his head low. His shadows swayed on his shoulders as if laughing along with her. Traitors.

Ayla pulled a decanter from under the counter, simpler than the ones above, and poured a mouthful for him. He took the first sip and her eyes never left his face. 

A thick sweetness coated his mouth, the aftertaste lingering on his tongue. A drink was surely an excuse for his cause, but he expected a real one in a bar. Azriel almost said so when his throat tightened. His vision clouded. Bitterness exploded along the back of his tongue before morphing into a burn that settled in his throat. An undignified cough escaped his lips.

Amusement sparked in Ayla’s eyes. ‘I can find you something light if you’d like.’

‘It’s fine.’ Azriel cleared his throat. His voice was hoarse when he got the words out. ‘I didn’t expect. . .that. What is it?’

‘Poison. Didn’t your instincts warn you?’

His shadows danced along his back and wings, but they were quiet and calm. Azriel studied her blank face as he took a subtle sniff. It smelled quite like her—a jumble of spices and sweetness. 

Ayla laughed again. ‘I’m not daft to kill you in my own bar. It’s something Raya and Uri have been experimenting with.’

‘So it could be poison.’ Azriel smiled and tested another sip. It tasted easy this time. When she paused to fill his glass, he gave her a nod.

Her eyes fixated on his shoulders. ‘And for your companions?’ 

The wavering darkness stilled. His shadows that sensed the insensible and expected the unexpected, skidded down his back as though her question had rendered them awed. One ever wondered what they did for him or could do for them. In five centuries, no one asked what they wanted.

Their whispers quieted, and in that eerie void, Azriel seemed to hear a word echo back to him. Far, far away. Ayla.

‘Nothing.’ He dropped his gaze to the drink, smiling. It only served right that they suffered his agony too.

Leaving the liquor beside him, Ayla tended to her shelf. 

It was a cold, cruel world outside. A woman who hurt her and promised worse lurked beyond that room. A court wanted to whisk her away for a reason he knew nothing of. But Ayla had no worry. She drifted back and forth, shuffling the bottles in an innate pattern only she saw until the colours bled and blended into a seamless artwork, a mosaic of reds and browns and amber in the faelight.

How could she be so carefree while her life was in danger?

She preferred the lonely, Uri had said. Even with Azriel mere feet away, she was alone, in her own world—getting her bar ready for the evening, and he was content watching her.

Cradling a bottle against her chest, Ayla leaned back against the counter.

If he set his glass down and reached a little, Azriel could trail a finger down the arch of her spine. He could feel the smooth curve of her waist under his palm. A little lower, her shirt crinkled, right above the swell of her— He tore his eyes away and cleared his throat.

‘You don’t have to act tough,’ she said. ‘No one shall know the big bad shadowsinger can’t drink. It will be our secret.’

Azriel looked up. Ayla moved down the bar, away from him, towards the unattended pile. A teasing smile tugged at her lips. And her face lacked the hatred he believed she felt for him.

Had he been wrong? The times he met with her, she was polite—ignoring her threat—and she talked without hesitance.

‘You were gone for a long time. Where were you?’

‘Shouldn’t you know that already?’ Ayla wiped the glasses and stacked them on the tray one by one. The rings on her bracelet clinked with her every move.

‘I’m a spy,’ mumbled Azriel, ‘not a stalker.’

She chuckled, so light it was almost a breath. ‘Don’t the lines blur for you?’

Always a quick question thrown his way to draw the attention from her. Azriel was used to rudeness, anger, and even snark. But Ayla, she was something else. Her words were a weapon, sharp and precise, and always found their mark.

His shadows gathered over one shoulder, coiling and threading into dark ribbons, inching towards her. Ayla glanced at them and a smile curled her lips. With that, she shattered his resolve.

‘Drink with me,’ said Azriel.

Her hands froze and the smile faded. She peered at him, assessing him.

‘Drink with me, Ayla.’ He said again, only gentler.

For a breath, she didn’t move. Then she abandoned the trays, glasses and bottles, and walked back to him. 

Snagging the drink from between his fingers, she took a sip. Her brows pulled together as she pressed the back of her fingers to her lips and gasped. Azriel grinned.

‘Gods, that’s horrible.’ The veins along her neck strained as she swallowed again. ‘They should not be making that.’

‘A bar owner who can’t handle a drink. It’ll be our secret.’ Azriel poured another glass.

‘Ah, so it begins. Is this how you interrogate your suspects?’ Ayla crossed her arms on the bar. It brought her closer to him.

Azriel nodded. ‘Right after a meal of their choosing.’

‘Sure, sure. We don’t want to lose them to exhaustion. And when does the screaming start?’

There were two kinds of women—ones who idolised him and ones who feared him. Neither cared who he was underneath his mask of Night Court’s Torturer. And they definitely did not joke about it. 

Azriel chuckled under his breath.

Ayla drank again. ‘It’s still not my secret to share if that’s why you’re here.’

‘Not the part where you’re involved. That’s yours to tell.’

Her eyes didn’t waver. She observed him as though she could stir through his thoughts and pull them apart until she took what she wanted. 

After a long minute, she muttered, ‘I’m starting to see why you’re a spymaster.’ She tucked a fist under her chin. ‘I’ll tell you what. You find out where Hamra is and I’ll give you—’

‘She just passed the borders of Winter. If she moves west in the next two days, she’s heading to Autumn.’ 

Ayla blinked twice. Her lips parted and closed. She shook her head and slowly, a smile made its way onto her face. ‘Not a stalker,’ she mumbled, brushing the loose strands away from her eyes. ‘I met her five years ago.’

Azriel brought the glass to his lips and hid his smirk behind it.

‘I had to stop at an inn on my way back from a trip. I never do because they are always loud and crowded. That place was no exception.’ Her brows furrowed, yet her smile remained. She stared at the wood between them, ‘I almost left until I saw her. She was cursing at three men who were trying to hold her down and she was soaked in blood. I couldn’t tell whose it was. But she was fighting back. And those who wished to help were afraid of her.’

‘You helped her.’

Ayla nodded once. ‘Not right away. I wasn’t sure if she was innocent. But, she was cornered and outmanned. One of them even had a rope to tie her down like a beast. It didn’t matter though. The next minute, she was waggling a knife at them. Almost took an eye out of one.’ She laughed, shaking her head. More hair spilt from her knot. ‘I still don’t know where she got it from. After I had her cleaned and fed, she offered me gold for my horse and promised to let me ride him if I offered her protection.’

Azriel grinned. He expected nothing less from the spitfire of a child. ‘Who was she running from?’

‘Her sire.’ Ayla hesitated for a beat, then sighed. ‘Hamra is a half-nymph. When she came of age, many coveted her for her beauty and suitors poured in from every court. Her sire is a lowly lord. After he married a high fae to keep his bloodline pure, her mother hid her birth from him. But news of her existence spread when she bore more resemblance to him than her mother. Since Hamra carries his blood and passes as a fae, like any arrogant male, he claims to the right to decide who she weds and beds to further his lordly dreams.’

Different courts, different times, but the same tale.

Anger coiled in Azriel’s gut. Hamra was a mere child. Almost as old as when Mor endured the same or Gwyn.

‘Who’s her father?’

‘I’ve spoken more than I promised.’

‘And the woman, is she here on his orders?’

Ayla stole the drink from him and took a long sip.

‘Tell me the child is safe to travel alone.’

She lifted her chin, her eyes scrutinising him. The glass hung from her fingers by the rim. ‘And why do you care?’

Azriel didn’t know what trick she was playing. How could one not care? The sight of Mor’s naked body, bloody and bruised, on the ground still haunted him. He couldn’t condemn another to the same fate. ‘Shouldn’t we when her life is in danger?’

Ayla sipped again. Another minute of silence passed before she smiled. ‘You’re kind.’

The words felt wrong even from her lips. If she knew his true intentions, that the fae had been a pawn to get closer to her, she wouldn’t feel the same.

He looked away, ‘It’s not what people say about me.’

‘Maybe you’re listening to the wrong people.’

Her gaze was heavy on him. The urge to hide gnawed at his chest. But they were alone and his shadows had their own will around her. They peeled away leaving him exposed, bare and whole. 

Aware of the little time he had before they were interrupted, Azriel stole the drink from her. ‘Is that why you refuse to work for lords? For her safety?’

‘I don’t find them reliable.’ She shrugged, ‘Most are entitled and self-aggrandising.’

‘Rhys isn’t like them.’ At the least, not after one knew him.

Ayla clicked her tongue. ‘Your High Lord must pay you well if you endorse him while drunk.’

Azriel chuckled. He itched to defend his brother and convince her that he wasn’t as evil as she believed him to be. But he wanted to stay with her more. 

‘Why the bar?’ He asked instead. Her brows furrowed. ‘You make weapons and yet, own a bar.’

‘I liked the house.’ Azriel must have failed to mask his confusion because she added, ‘It’s in the middle of the city. I have a view of Sidra and the mountains from my balcony. And on solstices, I can see every celebration. The lights, the decorations, the music. For months, I tried to negotiate with the owner. But he wouldn’t sell it without the bar.’ She sighed, waving a hand between them. ‘You would know if you saw my house.’

His heart lurched.

‘Tell me this,’ she leaned forward on her arms. ‘Doesn’t it contradict your purpose if you declare yourself a spymaster?’

Azriel grinned. Of course, his mate would be bold enough to ridicule him. ‘I have others working for me. And everyone expects a shadowsinger to spy. There’s no point hiding it.’

Ayla rolled her eyes. ‘Excuses. Admit that you’re terrible at your job.’

’You don’t even know what I can do.’

‘You couldn’t find out where I was.’

‘But I found Hamra.’

‘She probably spotted you. Your shadows aren’t as subtle as they should be.’ She took the drink from him. The warmth of her skin grazed his fingers.

Darkness swarmed and writhed over his shoulders at the insult. A low chuckle escaped his lips. ‘Why the singing?’

Ayla frowned at the sudden shift. ‘You seem to be very curious about my life. Are you sure this isn’t an interrogation?’

‘You’re not screaming yet,’ teased Azriel.

She drew a breath and the corner of her lips twitched. ‘Among my people, women are supposed to be pretty things who do pretty things.’

Azriel waited for more. But she answered with silence.

Sire. Her people. Your High Lord. Her choice of words was strange for a commoner in the north, or even a lady. But she carried no markers of the southern courts. Even when she spoke of Hamra, she refrained from naming a place.

From the way she talked of her people, only two places came to his mind. 

Azriel knew the chances were slim but, for someone whose every word was calculated, she was bound to correct him rather than reveal the truth herself. ‘Autumn?’

Ayla grinned, ‘Do I look like I’m from Autumn?’

Hewn City then. Azriel hid his smirk by taking a sip. ‘I didn’t know making swords was a craft fit for a lady.’

‘Spoken like a true man.’ She exacted her vengeance by snatching the glass from him. Her gaze lingered on his hands as she drank and his fingers twitched on their own. 

He clenched his fists and turned away. He couldn’t bear that look from her—like he was that weak, helpless boy who cried for help, someone reduced to his past and ghosts.

‘We all have scars, shadowsinger.’ Her voice carried a note of tenderness. ‘You bear yours on your skin.’

When Azriel turned back, she was peering at his fists unfazed. She didn’t flinch away with disgust or cower when he caught her inspecting them. 

Ayla opened her palms to him. ‘May I?’

The last time she touched his skin, Azriel was too lost in her to notice. This, he wasn’t prepared for, nor could he forget.

‘You can refuse me,’ she said. Her hands rested on the counter between them as a sign of reassurance that the choice was truly his. 

Many had desired what Ayla asked of him. Even Mor at one time after she learnt the truth from Rhys. But it was Azriel who always chose who and when he touched, never the other way around. The only person he ever let feel his hands was his mother once the bandages were removed.

Slowly, he offered his hand to her. At the graze of her fingertips on his knuckles, he sucked in a sharp breath.

Ayla held his gaze, waiting, allowing him the chance to kill her curiosity. When Azriel didn’t resist, she comforted him with a smile before lowering her eyes. 

For a long time, she only observed, taking in every ugly ridge and wrinkle on his skin. She held his hand in both of hers, her fingers barely touching him. Her thumbs weaved through his digits and stroked his palm, eliciting a jolt through his spine with each traversed path.

We all have scars.

What scars did she possess? Were they a reminder on her skin like his? That thought alone birthed a hunger in him to inflict pain onto the world. 

How could anyone wish to hurt her? A woman whose eyes beheld compassion instead of pity for a cursed soul like him? The one who cradled his marred hand as a sacred relic deserving of her utmost care? The one whose face softened with a kind smile as she marked every inch of his scars with her smooth touch?

‘I wish,’ Ayla breathed, ‘they had treated you better.’

Azriel realised it then. Why Mother burdened him with a loveless life for five centuries. Why Mor didn’t accept him. Why Elain was never meant to be his. 

So he could belong to Ayla. And he would endure the heartache again for eternity if Mother promised him one lifetime with her.

Her fingers stilled, hovering over his palm. ‘Did they pay for this?’

Ayla’s face was that of an ardent believer of forgiveness—warmth radiating from her every time a smile adorned her lips. She cared for Raya and Uri. She protected a child endangering herself. She sheltered a homeless hag.

But Azriel had also witnessed her choke a male defending a fae. 

Which one was he—one worthy of her generosity or her wrath? 

Was he the same innocent boy deserving of justice after the blood he spilt with his own hands? Or was he a sinner for how he punished his half-brothers? What would appease the woman in front of him cradling his hand with a gentleness that rivalled a mother’s touch—that they were forgiven and shown the path of kindness, or they were ripped to shreds by his own tortured hands like they deserved?

No, the word inched closer to the tip of his tongue, ready to satiate his mate with a simple lie. One to keep her from running away from him. ‘Yes.’

The corner of her lips curled up, ever so delicately, and she murmured. ‘Good.’ 

When a frown etched between her brows, he knew her next question well. He grappled at everything he learned of her to lead her elsewhere. 

‘Can I see your dagger?’ She asked softly. 

Azriel almost laughed. One minute, his heart ached with the weight of his past, and the next, with joy and need.

Her back arched over the counter and she leaned low. She narrowed her eyes, prodding at his palm and pinching his fingertips. ‘Do you need special hilts? For your hands, the grip on them should be interesting.’

Oh, Azriel would prove his grip all right.

His shadows buzzed by his ears sensing his insidious thoughts. 

‘Maybe next time,’ he said, easing his hand out of her grip. What an idiot he was denying her the very thing he craved—her skin against his.

Her brow raised but she smiled. ‘Planning ahead, are we?’

It was neither a threat nor a refusal.

Refilling the glass, Azriel nodded at her wrist. ‘Did you make that?’

Ayla glanced at her bracelet before emptying their drink. ‘Orvin did. Leather and innovation are his specialities. I’m better with traditional weaponry.’ She poured another glass and Azriel grabbed it before she could. ‘I don’t carry weapons, so he made it for my travels.’

So close, the rings appeared more silver than gold but lacked the lustre of either. ‘What is it made of?’

‘It’s something I’m working on.’ Ayla threaded her third and fourth fingers through the rings and pulled, slowly revealing the cords. A trilling echoed in the air as they strummed from the strain. ‘See,’ she looked up at him, her eyes bright and eager. ‘It’s malleable under tension. It may not look like it, but it’s tougher than steel.’

She flexed her fingers and the rings whizzed back to the bracelet in a blink. Her smile widened.

Azriel set the glass down and reached for her wrist. Then, he stopped. When he turned to her, she nodded twice, extending her arm towards him. 

His fingers were thicker than hers. The rings barely slipped past his nails. The heat from her skin still warmed the metal. 

Ayla leaned close and Azriel held his breath. She curled his fingers, trapping the rings between his knuckles.

‘They are meant to be a little loose to manoeuvre them.’ She pointed at his half-closed fist, ‘You can’t get proper control if they’re snug. There’s also the danger of breaking your fingers during a fight.’

Azriel nodded and tested a little tug. His fingers trembled at the tension as though the cords fought back against him. Both times Ayla used it, she did so with an impressive ease that almost shamed his Illyrian strength.

She traced her fingers along the width of the bracelet. ‘Here’s where the tethers go. It remembers its form and reverts to it once you let go.’ Then she frowned, ‘But it’s not perfect yet. Leather gets worn out soon. We’re trying to replace it with metal but the slide and friction are hard to get around.’

Words tumbled out of her lips about metals and temperatures and mechanics. The more she talked, the further she edged towards him.

Azriel narrowed his eyes.

A smoky tendril teetered over her shoulder, one to the other. It coiled and wove itself with the loose ends of her hair, curving along her jaw carefully to not touch her skin. 

As the rogue shadow nudged against her collar, swaying too close to her ear, he gritted his teeth. 

Ayla looked up at his silence.

Azriel nodded, bringing his gaze back to her face. Or did she ask him something?

He stared at his hand, the rings still in his grasp. He coiled the cord around his fist like she did on that first night. She was right—he could tolerate the strain better. He tugged and her hand slipped on the table, almost knocking the glass off. She caught it before the liquor spilt on him.

‘Hey,’ she laughed—sweet and soothing. His shadows sighed at the sound. ‘Careful!’ 

Azriel released the rings, letting go of the tether, letting go of her.

But Ayla didn’t move back. She drank, smiling. 

Lights hit the crystals on the shelf right and their glow echoed around her like a gentle halo—turning her into the ethereal being she was. Her eyes sparkled with mirth and her cheeks flushed warm. She licked the remnants of the liquor from her bottom lip as she emptied the bottle and nudged the drink towards him.

Azriel willed himself to breathe. He placed his finger on the rim and turned the glass around. When he brought it to his lips, his tongue darted out to gather the wetness still stuck to it, where her lips had been not a moment ago. He took a long sip, savouring every drop of the burning nectar she offered.

Ayla stared at him—his parted lips, the column of his throat as he swallowed. Her inhaled breath stuck in her throat. As Azriel set the glass down, her eyes followed it before they flashed to his. 

Far, his mind screamed, too fucking far. 

But Azriel noticed the slight twitch of her lips before her gaze flicked to his side. A thread of shadow curled around his ear. 

A lock clicked beyond the wall. Ayla looked over her shoulder at the closed office door, sinking her teeth into her lip.

Raya, his shadows announced.

‘That’s my bartender,’ her voice took on a lower note, more melodious than ever. She swallowed a breath and turned to him. ‘We’ll be opening soon.’

Azriel waited. 

Ayla didn’t move.

He grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her to him, pressing his lips to hers. 

Metal clanked and scratched against the wood as her fingers splayed on the counter. When her lips moved with his, Azriel buried his other hand into her hair—her beautiful, silkened hair. 

He swiped his tongue on her lips, wide and hungry. Honeyed sweetness from their drink lingered on them, and beneath it, he tasted her. A shiver raked through him, every nerve in his body awakening at her kiss. When she gasped, he stole the little breath from between her lips. She didn’t resist. 

Gods, not once did she resist.

Azriel kissed her. 

He kissed her with every piece of his heart. He kissed her for the centuries he waited for her. He kissed her for the moments wasted between them, and the moments he would miss until next time.

Here.

Feet stomped close on the other side of the door.

Azriel pulled away, dropping his hands.

The door opened.

‘People generally rest in their bed,’ groaned Raya entering the room. Her mouth fell open when she spotted him, her wide eyes darting between him and Ayla.

Azriel only watched his mate. Her hair, ruined by his hands. Her cheeks aglow golden with a flush. Her lips pursed—wet, swollen, and all the more inviting.

But the light in her eyes, the playfulness, faded.

He stumbled back from the stool. 

‘Thanks for the drink.’

And he left without looking back.

[ghostdata]

.

[bixbiboom]

So. Life update.

Today (technically yesterday now) was the first day of my final year of my fourth decade. Happy birthday to me.

I take my duties (even self-assigned ones) way, way too seriously, and running this blog was killing me. Literally. I was given doctor’s orders to cut back on social media (actually she wanted me to cut out social media, but we compromised), and a very beloved friend actually paid me to take the month off. So I did. I turned off all my social media notifications, unfollowed a lot of ppl, muted a bunch of servers, and told my source suppliers I was going on hiatus.

Since the beginning of May, my daily average time actually using my phone has gone from over 17 hours to just seven hours, my blood pressure has gone from the 150s/90s range to the 130s/70s range, and I’ve stopped having nightly nightmares and daily coughing fits. I’m also walking 19% more than I did last month, and every doc appt shows I’ve lost more weight since the last one. I’ve also started writing again for the first time in months, and I’ve churned out over 10k words this month.

So I’m cutting way, way back on the CR content. Still a critter, still watching every week, ask box is still open for chatting, you can tag me in on questions if you want. I’m still actively participating in the fandom and keeping up with the goings-on. But I’m not referring to myself as a source blog anymore. Back to a mixed bag of whatever grabs my fancy, like a normal human person, while I try to become one of those again.

In other news, I’m getting a new kitten at the end of next month! A friend rescued a pregnant cat and I’ll be taking one of the litter when they’re old enough to leave their mama.

I don’t know which one I’ll be picking yet (I haven’t actually met them in person, mama’s a nervous kitty and still settling in to her new home and I don’t want to stress her out by showing up out of nowhere and handling her babies), but odds are good it’ll be one of the torties.

If anyone is so inclined, I’ve got »an Amazon wish list« for supplies for both the new kitten and a few things for my older cats, and »my ko-fi jar« is always around. (Also I’m down for suggestions for things the list is missing; my youngest cat is 11 years old, I’ve been out of the kitten game for a while.)

Love you guys, see you on Thursday!

[strwbrryeyes]

tsuki and reader who loves video games :3 whenever reader finds a new game, they always talk about it to tsuki and have him try it with them at least once!! if tsuki likes the game, reader considers it a huge win; although tsuki doesn’t play a lot, if he sees reader playing a game he likes, he’ll sit with them and play for a bit <3

𖦹°｡⋆ Actually not boring (tsukishima x reader)

⟡ cw: no pronouns used i think, fluff, a little cussing, not proofread, lmk if i missed anything.

⟡ a/n: i kind of went off prompt i'm sorry </3 i just could only see tsukishima acting like this asdfghjkl hope you like it anyway but also i'm sorry if its bad im still getting used to writing again! alsosorryhinata-

“What the hell are you doing?” Tsukishima asks as he walks into your shared bedroom to see you at your new light blue and white PC setup. You turn around in your chair to face him with a bright smile on your face.

“I’m playing on Kenma’s new Minecraft smp!” you excitedly say to him as you pull him down to your level to show him how Kenma, Hinata, Kuroo, and Bokuto’s characters are all standing around the spawn area.

“Seems boring,” your boyfriend squints his eyes as he looks at everyone’s skins “what in the world is Bokuto’s avatar? it looks ug-”

“Isn’t handsome?! Just like me!” A loud screech from Bokuto comes through your headphones and cuts off Tsukishima and bursts your eardrum as you forgot to mute your mic and deafen. Tsukishima groans and rolls his eyes before grabbing your mic from your desk to bring it up to his face.

“No but it is ugly like you.” Tsukishima says into the mic causing Bokuto to shout and hit your character as if it was Tsukishima but you punch him back to get him to back off. After that small distraction, you deafen yourself and turn to look back your boyfriend.

“Jeez, thanks babe, now my ears are bleeding,” you glare at him and he scoffs shaking his head, “Why don’t you play with us? I’m sure you’ll have fun!” you change the subject to try to convince Tsukishima to play with the group but all he does is plop on the bed on the otherside of the bedroom.

“Minecraft is boring and childish, we went over this when you tried making me play with you last month.” Tsukishima says in a monotone voice as he scrunches his face.

“But this time it’s mod-”

“Nope, don’t care you can’t convince me.” He cuts you off not even giving you a chance to finish what you were saying making you let out a huff and turn back to your PC.

What you were trying to explain before you were rudely interrupted, was that it was a modded Minecraft server with a bunch of different tech, magic, and animal mods and that you really thought he would enjoy it since some of the mobs that were added to the game were different types of dinosaurs you could tame and ride. You shake it off not caring enough to try to convince him again for now.

After about an hour and a half, you and Tsukishima are still in the same spots as before doing your own thing while talking to each other occasionally. The both of you had ordered dinner since neither of you were really up to cook or go out so Tsukishima had paid for the food so long as you agreed to go down the the apartment complex lobby to pick it up from the delivery driver.

“Babe, food is almost here you can go down to the lobby now.” Tsukishima told you making you groan out of annoyance because you were working on a tech project with Hinata on the server and didn’t want to leave him alone for the fear that Hinata may break something important (he isn’t very good with minecraft mods).

Regardless, you deafened your headset after telling Hinata you would be right back and to not touch anything before standing up from your seat and turned to face your boyfriend “Okay, I’ll go get the food but can you come sit here and make sure Hinata doesn’t touch anything?” you asked Tsukishima with puppydog eyes and a pout that he couldn’t resist so all he did was sigh and sit at your desk like he was told, making you happy and then off you went to get the food.

After you left, Tsukishima didn’t pay much attention to your computer screen since Hinata had told everyone in the game chat that he was going AFK to go to the bathroom and after knowing Hinata after all these years, Tsukishima knew Hinata would be in there for a while so Tsukishima was just scrolling through his phone until he saw movement on your screen in the background. He figured Hinata had come back from the bathroom but it hasn’t even been that long so he took it upon himself to fully look at the screen and what he saw was Bokuto and Kuroo running around what seems to be your base. At first, Tsukishima wasn’t too worried but still kept an eye on them incase they did something stupid because if they did and you came back to something being wrong, you would blame him for not stopping it. Nothing was out of the ordinary until the two avatars came back into frame with a…dinosaur? Tsukishima couldn’t really process what was happening except for the fact that these two bafoons were dragging a large mob that was named ‘Kei’ with a lead and away from your base. Confused and annoyed Tsukishima picked up your headset and undeafend it to hear what Kuroo and Bokuto were saying in proximity chat.

“Bro, they’re going to kill us!” Bokuto sounds worried as he follows Kuroo around.

“They’re AFK she won’t even know it was us, she’ll just think Shoyo did it!” Kuroo quietly shouts as if he didn’t want other people to hear. ‘What an idiot’ Tsukishima thought before unmuting the mic.

“What do you think you dumbasses are doing?” Tsukishima says seriosuly into the mic causing the two to stop dead in their tracks.

“Kuroo made me do it!” Bokuto finally yells into his mic before running away into the distance leaving Kuroo behind.

“Listen, Tsukishima, you don’t have to tell [name],” Kuroo says nervously as he unleads the dinosaur “I’ll just leave it here an-” Kuroo is cut off by Tsukishima running towards him with a sword but is slowed down when he runs out of hunger giving Tsukishima the leverage to kill Kuroo.

Now that those two ‘idiots’ were gone, Tsukishima took it upon himself to inspect the mob that looks like a dinosaur. He smirked at the fact that it was named after him, thinking it was cute and also mounted it with a saddle to he could ride it a bit.

A few more minutes go by and Tsukishima is still playing around with all the mobs you have already found in the short time you have been playing and was (un)surprisngly amused, so amused that he forgot that you weren’t even in the apartment until he heard the door to the bedroom open,

“Sorry I took so long, I had to talk to the front desk about a package that I was supposed to get…” You walk on saying but got quieter when you saw your boyfriend flying in the sky on a dragon. Tsukishima didn’t even want to turn around because then you would see that his face is red from embarrassment so he just kept flying in circles until you forcibly turned the chair around to make him look at you with a smirk plastered on your face. “Whatcha doin there, my love?” You smugly ask him as he struggles to find the words to say.

“I uh- I um stopped Bokuto and Kuroo from stealing your pet!” Was all your flustered boyfriend managed to say. It wasn’t often Tsukishima would get flustered like this but everytime he did, you would soak it in to make sure you never forgot it so naturally, you took a picture. 

The picture snapped him out of his embarrassed state to glare at you but witht hat shit eating grin on your face, he knew he had no choice of redemption so he caved and told you everything that happened with annoyance but excitement in his voice.

“Oh! I also got you this giant wolf looking thing! It was right outside your base and I thought you might want it!” Tsukishima exclaims like a child as you sit ontop of his lap giggling as he showed you things he thought were cool after he was adamant not hearing you out on how he should play on the server too.

“Kei, my love, your PC is right next to mine,” you manage to let out between giggle as you point to Tsukishima’s barely used computer set up that he sometimes used for work and to occasionally play other video games with you “Why don’t you just play with all of us? I’m sure they wouldn’t mind!” you once again ask him to join the server but all he responds with is a sigh and a look that automatically says no.

“They’re going to make fun of me for being a nerd!” Tsukishima ends up pouting not being able to stay seriously annoyed at you for too much longer and all you can let out is a single ‘Ha!’ before kissing his forehead.

“They aren’t going to make fun of you! They’re just as big of nerds as you are! Kenma is literally working with a magic mod while Kuroo is making a rocket to go to the moon with Bokuto while me and Hinata are making an automatic cooking station so we can open our own restaurant!” You explain to Tsukishima, telling him more about the different kinds of mods that are on the server which only intrigues him even more making him agree to play on the server on the condition that you two make another base further away from everyone else so no one could bother him too much which you agreed to.

Before setting up everything Tsukishima needed to download on his own computer, you both travelled a couple thousand blocks and found the perfect biome to start your modded minecraft journey together and moved all of your belongings and pets there so you wouldn’t have to go back and forth. Once everything was moved to your new area, the both of you logged off for the night to go eat your now cold dinner and agreed that you would play more tomorrow night and that you would both learn what each mod does before focusing on one specific mod.

Tsukishima wouldn’t show it, but he was actually extremely excited to play on this server with you and his high school friends since he never really got to see them anymore and wanted an activity to bond over with you. He was happy and he has you to thank.

BONUS:

~Half an hour after you and Tsukishima logged off: Hinata Shoyo’s apartment~

Hinata groans as he leaves the bathroom walking back to his desk, muttering something about how he shouldn’t have eaten that much mac and cheese. 

As he sits back down and exits the menu/paused screen of minecraft Hinata is left speechless as he looks around him and sees that mostly everything that was once there is gone except for a few of his own chests and a few signs that you left behind that read ‘Sorry Shoyo, Tsukishima is making me live with him now’ ‘We can still work on the restaurant but we cant be roommates </3 - [name]’ Hinata sighs as he finishes reading the signs and starts to walk away to go find someone else to hang out with until he sees another sign a few blocks away that says ‘haha loser - tsukishima’ and at that point Hinata just decides to log off.

[grub-hut]

I don't use Tiktok, never will, In my opinion I think the app should shut down. [ But that will never happen... So I will cope.] But god are ya'll are insufferable on there. The fact you have this strong par asocial attachment to Sebastian and claim that Zerum is ""ruining the character"" is just blasphemy and shows you guys know nothing to zero about writing and do not play the game whats so ever. I've talked to Zerum; Ive talked to the devs and mods ; and all the false claims and misinformation that's being spread like a wildfire IS CRAZY. Everyone's so exhausted. It takes just a couple of minutes to prove it's false but that would actually require these people to literally sit down and fucking read. Zerum never banned anybody. Zerum doesn't handle the bans in the server. If you got banned or muted, it was most likely the automod in the server that they have implemented to avoid people saying anything weird or sexual... [ A friend of mine got muted because they sent a gif that had a weird name to it; nothing related to the gif, the gif was fine and they filed a ticket and got unmuted. Its just the bot doing its job.] and even then the mods probably banned you for something completely unrelated...

and even then, can we STOP normalizing this??

Like this GRINDS my gears, it fucking rusts, it makes me want to break down and combust into flames- Stop. Stop. YOU ARE THE ISSUE. Creators want to create. Either for ourselves or for others, whatever it maybe people enjoy letting their creativity flow because ITS FUN. IT SHOULD BE--- FUN!!! We are giving you literally something free and something to ENJOY because we enjoy it just as much! This stupid fucking mindset being so normalized makes me SO SICK. " whatever is put on the internet is free reign!" you guys have ZERO respect for any creator; even yourselves and its so BLATANTLY OBVIOUS. You guys preach about "respecting artists/creators" till it doesnt fit with your agenda, because we should just "expect" our works to be disrespected and used. Like our feelings never mattered. Are we going to ignore the discussion of AI art too? Or copyright, or literally anything of that sort here? Yes, its the internet, there WILL be people who are so drastically cruel and do something you will not like. I do agree its best to ignore those kinds of people but that does not mean we should just LET it happen. It does not mean we should suck it up and take the blows. This is how people stop creating, youre killing artists, youre shunning them away because "its the internet, lol, dont get mad if ppl -" Stop it, you're teaching younger generations that it does not matter if you have boundaries or not and that your voice doesnt mean anything. I mean fuck, you put your oc here I can use it however I want then! Because you shouldve expected the moment you click post for other people to use it! Who cares right?! its OUR oc now >:)!!! No matter what the character is from, by a indie game, a comic, a book, yadda yadda. If youre gonna be scum, you are gonna BE scum. Artists should be respected and be listened to. If Zerum ships her oc to her oc, so fucking what? She created him. YES. SHE CREATED HIM. Just because she is a """co-owner" You forget she wrote and designed him. You forget its STILL HER CHARACTER. WHICH BTW, HE WOULDNT EXIST IF IT WASNT FOR ZERUM!! ITS HER CHARACTER- Not yours, and if your first thing that comes to mind " oh but shes ruining her character" then so what, its not MADE for you. Hell, Sebastian is only like 1% of the whole entire game! ENJOY THE GAME, ENJOY THE ACTUAL LORE. MAKE YOUR OWN OCS, GO WACKY WOOHOO AND ENJOY IT WITH OTHERS. If you make headcanons for Sebastian or any other characters! Great! As long as you are respectful who literally cares. HAVE FUN! Stop harassing and bullying and literally spreading misinfo; I am so sick of people with this mindset! This is why the internet is such a shit place to begin with because we just let this stuff happen. Grow up! Like PAInter said.." YOURE NO FUN AT ALL!"

[g0giro]

PLEASE READ THIS!!! NEOPENTANE5 TOLD ME TO KILL MYSELF AFTER I TALKED ABOUT THAT SHE SUPPORTED RAPE TO MY FRIEND

Someone sent this to me, and I have something to say about it. Don't buy what she said on her Twitter, I explained every single detail below.

I'm adding these pictures as well since these tweets were basically her referring to me and saying a lot of bad things about me. I've heard this meant "I wish you go kill yourself", "You don't deserve any friends" and so on, so I decided to translate it. She deleted it, and it's gone by now, but I could get a screenshot of her saying it.

TL;DR: I cut neopentane5 off and blocked her last year, I've been struggling because of severe depression since last year and she was the main reason who caused it, I vented about how I felt and what I couldn't understand her to my friend, and somehow it ended up with Neopentane5 seeing my DM with my friend and she self attacked me on her Twitter because of the DM, revealing my personal information and writing on her Twitter that I need to kill myself.

Below this is about what exactly happened and how Neoepentane5 tried to justify her actions. I explained it with all the proof that she was wrong and spreading misinformation, including some NSFW pictures she sent.

I don't know where to start, but let me talk about what happened last year between me and her.

The first reason I cut her off :

A few months ago, a guitarist of my favorite band passed away, so I was really shocked and sad, and I wanted to talk about it to someone and get comforted. There was a discord server where I, Neopentane5, and some other people were so I went there and talked about it. One of them asked me about it, but Neopentane5 just said nothing but sent a nsfw pic right below my text, completely ignoring me.

It was really rude and disrespectful, not just because the guitarist was my favorite but it was really weird and absurd of her to send a nsfw pic when she heard that someone died. Because of this, I was feeling depressed, so I tried not to pay attention to the server and her. I muted the notifications and tried to do something else like watching movies, playing games, or going out and so on because I thought it would become better if I could ignore this.

But she kept sending a bunch of nsfw pictures like these pictures without my consent and I was really overwhelmed and mad because of it.

This is the uncensored version of the screenshots.

The second reason why I cut her off:

Around last Halloween, I posted this to do inbox trick or treating. People who wanted to join it left likes there, and everyone who left likes on that post answered back, but Neopentane5 was the only one who didn't do anything even though she left her like. I thought she might be busy, and I asked her why she hadn't answered. She said she read it and wanted to draw something for it and would post it that night, but I didn't really mind if she wanted to draw something or not, because I was content with communicating with people by sending some candy pics and it was wholesome.

She really seemed to draw one for it, and I didn't want to let her down by saying I didn't really need her drawing or so, so I gave her enough time and she didn't post anything about it even two weeks had passed. I was really getting upset and depressed because it felt like I was worthless and not worth being remembered or cared about. I stopped texting her and everyone back then because of my depression.

Then she suddenly texted me first unusually and it was like this.

She just wanted to use me for translating that picture when she clearly knew that I didn't like the reboot stuff and didn't want to see it at all. She could've just googled it and used a translator, but she still decided to ask me to translate it for her. I had been feeling really down that time, and I didn't want to text back, but I also didn't want to make her feel bad so I just joked like I was all good and translated it for her. I felt I was worthless than the google translate and she just laughed it off and didn't really care about it when she should've made a proper apology. It didn't look like a person who was genuinely feeling sorry and it made my mental state worse. So I said just forget about it, and she didn't even answer back.

Other reasons I cut her off:

I had been already feeling depressed because I had always felt that I was the only one who cared about the 'friendship' she claimed to call it. Whenever I wanted to 'talk' with her, I always had to bring something interesting related to the fandom stuff, or she didn't even reply or reply very carelessly like "okay cool" a few days later when I texted her. She also didn't text me first usually, and I noticed it when I started talking with her last year. I thought I could talk about it to her and solve the problem together, so I seriously asked her to text me first sometimes and told her that I was feeling neglected because of her lack of messages. She said she wasn't just a talkative person and didn't really start a conversation first, but it was also the same for me because I wasn't a talkative one either. At least she promised that she would change and try to message me first, but she didn't. I talked about it to her more than three times, but she didn't even try hard to keep her promise and I lost trust that it would fix anything if I talked with her.

This was the last conversation when I blocked her.

I was trying not to be rude, and I explained why I decided to distance her. If she actually cared about the 'friendship', then she should've apologized to me and asked me if we could start over. But she immediately decided to cut me off (which means she didn't care about me) and started making excuses to justify her actions.

About Neoepentane5 saying something supportive about rape:

She tried to make her words promising about rape is okay by using the logic that she's Asian and Asian people are like that. Me, as a Korean, I don't support rape and I am against people who tolerate rape in any case. I couldn't understand how could a person be okay with rape at all and I was so disgusted by it, so I vented it to my friend because I'd already cut her off and there was no way for her to see this, a few days ago. But somehow, Neopentane5 was able to see my DM which I only intended to share with my friend, and wrote about it, making excuses and revealing my Discord name and Tumblr blog to the public, allowing her followers could easily attack me when I had no intention to expose her when I was talking with my friend.

We used to be friends, but we didn't quarrel and the quarrel she means is the last conversation I wrote about above, where I was explaining why I decided to block her. I didn't drive a distance between Neopentane5 and her friends, in fact, there was only one person I asked why didn't they distance Neopentane5 yet. The friend she was talking about was also my friend, and when I decided to block her, I told the friend too. I was genuinely worried about the friend because they said that they also had problems with Neopentane5 before and had an emotionally hard time because of her.

I talked about my interaction with her to my friends, not making it go on the public. Every person can feel bad and hate someone, and I needed to vent my feelings to my friends, Neopentane5 is talking about this as if I did something wrong after seeing what she wasn't able to see. About how she could manage to see my DM, my friend shared it with someone else without my consent and their friend shared it again to another, and so on. This is a wild guess, but when I talked to the friend after blocking Neopentane5 they said they already knew what happened, and in the way Neopentane5 talked in the last conversation I had with her, it's not hard to assume that she probably said many bad things about me. I don't blame her for talking back behind my back, because it's natural to vent someone's feelings to someone, but it's very disappointing and frustrating to see her attack me.

When I said I could make her an account, she denied it because she didn't want to look weak in front of me and said it was cheap to buy a new phone number, saying it didn't even cost a single dollar.

It was one game she bought, and I told her how much I appreciated it enough that she told me to stop praising her. However, she hadn't played it once when I asked her to play it together later. I don't know what she's talking about the 'learning new ways to use AI for me' because if she's talking about CAI, I was the one who was making characters mostly and I've never asked her to make one for me.

I asked her to do RP with her because it looked like she was getting tired of CAI's waiting line and the limited responses. I said it was totally okay if she didn't want to do so, but she accepted it and then I made a server to invite her. She talked like she didn't enjoy it at all, but as embarrassing as it might sound, I enjoyed it and appreciated her for doing it together, and when I asked her if she was enjoying this too, she said yes and saved funny moments we had.

I say it again that it wasn't an argument or a quarrel. I explained why I wanted to distance her instead of just blocking her without any words, giving her the last chance to apologize and to make things better again. I explained it in the last conversation I had with her, you can read about how she keeps trying to justify her careless actions toward me by saying she's just forgetful and I don't understand her at all when I was struggling because of my depression and I needed someone to show me that they cared about me, but she couldn't understand me at all. I expected her to show it to me because she said I was special and different unlike the other friends she had, but maybe I was too naive.

I've never talked about anything related to her to the public or in my account where anyone can see it until now. Look at who decided to point me out and blame me, revealing my blog and discord account.

It's also not healthy to write me to go kill yourself.

This is all, and it was Neopentane5 who started blaming me on the Internet first. These are her Tumblr, Twitter, and Instagram pages. I hope anyone who reads this will distance yourself from her and her devotees, and it would be appreciated if you could reblog this post and share it on other websites like Twitter too.

Sorry for tagging the fandom tags, but I don't want other people to suffer the same thing I did. Thank you for reading a long post. + I edited the post since it was flagged.

[chloesolace]

Is It Over Now? - Homelander x Reader

summary: You are one of the most famous popstars of your generation, a real America's Sweetheart - who also happens to be the ex-girlfriend of the world's greatest hero, Homelander. When you write a song about your past relationship, portraying him in a not so positive light, it creates a shitstorm online that Ashley somehow tries to manage. The solution? Start dating Homelander again. But first, he has to convince you. After all, it isn't your reputation that's on the line.

pairing: Homelander x Supe!Reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: a bit of gore

a/n: Newest addition to my Swift Series <3 based on the song of the same name. This one shot will be a bit different than the other ones from the series, because the song itself exists in the story and the reader is the singer who wrote it (in this fic ofc). Expect usual moral corruption a la The Boys universe.

Masterlist - Discord Server - Request Info - Taylor Swift Series

And did you think I didn't see you? There were flashing lights At least I had the decency to keep my nights out of sight Only rumors 'bout my hips and thighs, and my whispered sighs

Ashley stared at the screen before her, her nostrils flaring and hands shaking while Homelander looked at her with an unimpressed expression. He rested his fingers against his temples in case he needed to massage away a headache that would undoubtedly arise if Ashley started shouting. 

“This is a PR nightmare,” she exclaimed, turning abruptly to look at the man whose face remained unreadable. His blue-eyed gaze jumped between Ashley and the screen, where you were seen on a stage in front of thousands of adoring fans, microphone in hand. You waved at them and blew them kisses as they cheered your name, but the sound was muted. It did not matter, though, since Homelander had watched every recording of your world tour he could get his hands on, so he knew precisely what the crowd sounded like. 

Ashley kept staring at him as she rested her hands on the table between them, pressing a button on the remote in her hand to turn up the volume of the recording. 

“Thank you so much, Sydney!” You said in the recording, continuing to wave at the crowd, before signaling them to quiet down. It did not take long for the cheering and screaming to stop, and you took a few steps across the stage as your expression turned more serious. 

“As you all know, I have been through quite a lot recently. Including a breakup.” The crowd immediately began reacting, expressing sympathy for you before you once again signaled them to quiet down. “But good things can sprout from bad experiences. So I would like to debut a new song right here, right now.” Your fans cheered, screaming your name as the music began; it was a slow tune at first, which gradually increased in speed and found its climax in the chorus. 

Homelander’s gaze shifted back to Ashley, who pressed the pause button on the recording. “She is calling you a ‘lying traitor’,” she remarked. “She is implying that you sleep around and that she wants to jump off a fucking building just to get your attention.” Ashley straightened her back and took a deep breath, burying her hands in her hair. 

“Calm down, Ashley. Didn’t you make her sign some kind of nondisclosure agreement?” Homelander said, jaw stiff as he observed the woman. 

“No, Homelander. I didn’t,” she replied with a voice somewhere between annoyance and panic. “You didn’t want her to sign one because you said you had her under control. We need to fix this.” She pulled out her phone and shoved it in his face. “You are trending on every social media and not for the right reasons. Look at these comments, look. ‘If Homelander can’t even make his own girlfriend feel secure, how are we supposed to feel secure with him?’”, she reads out loud, the panic still evident in her voice. “Or here, another good one. ‘Turns out even superhero men are trash’.” 

Homelander shifted in his seat, beginning to massage his temple while his eyes landed on you again. A part of him loved the attention he was getting. A song about him was proof that you were still thinking of him, and he loved leaving an impression, despite the fact that these words were most likely ghostwritten for you by a lyricist who had never met him before.

“Are you even listening?” Ashley furrowed her eyebrows, exhaling deeply before pinching the bridge of her nose. 

Homelander gave her a practiced smile, the smile he put on for viewers at home every day. He had become so good at it that sometimes it even felt real to him, and he briefly felt disgusted by himself. 

“I’ll handle it,” he said, standing from his seat before clasping his hands together behind his back, cape dangling from his shoulders. “I’ll talk to (y/n).” 

“Homelander,” she replied in a very serious tone, never breaking eye contact with him. “I know you don’t listen to me a lot, but please consider getting back together with her, if just for PR’s sake, and clearing up those misunderstandings.” 

He smiled faintly as he approached her, making her tense up visibly. He loved how afraid she was of him. Perhaps the only thing she was more afraid of was losing her job. 

Homelander placed a hand on her shoulder, and Ashley jumped a little. Her heartbeat quickened; she was afraid she had overstepped, possibly only now realizing her mistake. But his demeanor was calm and collected. Cheerful, an untrained eye might even say. 

“I will handle it,” he repeated, before leaving the room, and a breathless Ashley, behind. 

….

A few days later, you were in your dressing room, preparing for the next show of your world tour. Australia had finished last week, and now you were back home in America, humming soft tunes as you plucked the strings of your guitar to gain some inspiration. Miami was the first city on the list, and although you were never that big of a fan of the sunny weather in Florida, you had made some friends along the way here. 

The dressing room was rather large, with a full-body mirror in front of you and the huge, comfortable couch in the center you were sitting on that dominated the room. Feet dangling from the couch, you continued humming the soft tunes as your voice harmonized with the guitar. You sang a randomly made-up lyric, while the instrument became an extension of your voice in a way a regular musician could never achieve.

A smile played on your lips, which quickly faded again as you heard a noise from outside. Pressing your palm against the strings to silence them, you turned towards the door of your dressing room, trying to listen more closely. First, you heard nothing, but then a loud thud made you jump up from your seat, almost dropping the guitar in the process. 

Someone on the other side of the door struggled for air before a loud shot silenced them. You gasped, your guitar landing on the carpet as you kept your eyes locked on the door, which was being banged at by someone from the other side. 

“Open the door!” An unfamiliar male voice said, but you did no such thing. “Have it your way, missy,” you heard him add under his breath before he kicked the door down. Three men stood before you, heavily armored and carrying guns which were all pointed at you. Laughable, really, considering you were bulletproof.  

Taking on a fighting stance, you readied yourself for the attack which you would not have to wait long for. The man in the front approached you first, firing bullets that entered through your dress but bounced off you once they made contact with your skin. 

You punched the man, using his temporal confusion to bang his head against the other man’s, their helmets not doing much against your superhuman strength. Another one started shooting, but those bullets, too, did not penetrate your skin the slightest. 

Raising your arms, you focused on the bullets aimed at you and redirected the shockwave they created in the air, amplifying it with your powers to hit the three men, knocking them into the wall. One flew threw the open doorframe and hit his head somewhere in the corridor, as the other two were lying on the floor before you. 

You already had a triumphant smile on your face, when you were forced to the ground by a frequency so high, that not even your control over sound could aid you in any way. Releasing an excruciating scream, you covered your ears as you cowered on the floor. The dress you were wearing was now reduced to rags, perforated by the bullets that had passed through the material.

While you were trying to shield your ears from the deafening sound, the three men gathered their strength and got up, pointing their weapons at you again. With the sound essentially putting you out of action, you were at their mercy. 

Then the frequency stopped. Your breathing was quickened and your eyes wide as you realized what was happening, but before you could react, Homelander appeared in the doorframe with eyes glowing red. In a matter of seconds he had halved the three men, their guts and body parts falling around you as you looked up at your ex-boyfriend, not believing your eyes. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said, placing his hands on his hips as he smiled at you, drops of blood covering his skin. The same drops that had fallen on your dress, and splashed on the mirror to your right. You frowned deeply, rising to your feet while your eyes remained locked with his, and a grin began pulling at your lip. 

“Red does look good on you,” you said, not at all bothered by the bodies around your feet. Contrary to your image, you were not at all the little sweetheart your record company wanted the world to believe, but you had not graduated from Crimson Countess School of Performing Arts top of your class for nothing. 

Homelander chuckled, letting his eyes wander up and down your body, before locking with yours again. Then, he remembered the bodies lying around you and pointed at them in circling hand motions. “Maybe someone should clean that up.” 

“What do you want, John?” You cut him off, crossing your arms in front of your chest, and he sighed, the muscles in his jaw tensing for a moment. 

“Did you purposefully try to wound my ratings with that song, (y/n)?” He asked, his voice full of mistrust as he tilted his head to the side a little bit, eyes calculating. When you chuckled, it visibly irritated him. 

“Of course,” you said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You didn’t fulfill your part of the contract. I played the part of your girlfriend, and I did it well. Where is the movie deal I was promised?”

Homelander scoffed, looking around the room as if the answer were hidden somewhere around you two. “You know this isn’t only my decision to make,” he explained as if you were talking about who was supposed to buy groceries this week. 

You raised an eyebrow at him, fingers drumming on your arm. His expression turned a bit more serious then, and something in his eyes twinkled. “You actually missed me,” he said with an amusement in his voice that made you roll your eyes. 

Sighing, you stepped around the guts and blood on the floor, making your way around Homelander when you almost slipped on a piece of stomach. Just in time, he grabbed your arm and prevented you from landing head-first in the gore at your feet. You met his blue eyes, the knowing smirk on his lips remaining there as he pulled you back to your feet. 

“Now I even saved you twice today, would you look at that.” 

“Oh, please,” you replied, but couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped you, despite biting your cheek. 

For a moment, the two of you simply looked at each other, your gaze flickering between his as you inhaled his scent. You had not even properly registered that you were now close enough to do so. 

“If I get you that movie deal, will you become my partner again? For PR sakes.” 

You studied his face for a moment, considering the offer as you raised your chin towards him. “If you never hire anyone to use that frequency on me again just so you can look like the hero, I might consider it. And if you do use that frequency on me again, you can kiss your ratings goodbye.” 

He narrowed his eyes at you, but there was also something playful about the way his lips twitched, as if wanting to prevent a grin. You two had thrown a lot at each other when you had been officially dating, so you had no problem getting rough, but even you had limits.

“You don’t have to keep pretending to save me to get my attention,” you said, voice dropping to a whisper as your eyes briefly fell to his lips, your own parted. “But I’m sure the internet will love the footage you no doubt got on camera from this.” 

His warm breath tickled your skin as you closed more of the distance between you. “Isn’t this exactly what you wanted in the song? For me to come save you?” He asked with a hint of pride and playfulness in his voice while you let your hand brush over his arm slowly until you reached his shoulder. You wrapped your fingers around the golden eagle sitting there, never breaking eye contact. 

“Wait until you hear the other song I might or might not have written about you,” you whispered, the tone in your voice becoming low while your hand slid down his chest. “I am sure these words would cause a scandal from America’s sweetheart’s lips. But that is not the most scandalous thing that has ever left my lips, is it?”

His eyes narrowed ever so slightly, a grin appearing on his lips. “Perhaps I can convince you to release that song.” 

You pulled your hand back, biting down on your bottom lip as you stepped away from him. “Perhaps you can.” 

Chuckling, you left him standing in your dressing room, his scent still ghosting around you as you walked down the corridor. You took the stairs down and reached the entrance hall of the building just in time for your manager, bodyguards, and label representative to run into you, all of them carrying worried looks on their faces, but you calmed them down, stating how Homelander was there to save the day.

As they all began talking about Homelander excitedly, you looked back at the staircase leading up to the room you had just been in with him, brows furrowed and lips pressed together.

Games, you had to realize, were enjoyable only as long as they did not develop into anything more.

Oh, Lord, I think about jumping Off of very tall somethings Just to see you come flying And say the one thing I've been wanting, but no

[gatheredfates]

It's been a little while since I've prompted my server! With Sea's Community Compendium not needing an update this week (unless...?), I thought it might be the perfect opportunity. ⭐

What is SEAFLOOR?

SEAFLOOR's purpose is two-pronged! The first focuses solely on my community projects including, but not limited to; Compendium support, question-drive updates, miscellaneous resources and other bits and bobs. We also have dedicated channels for user sourced/submitted content including:

Resources, prompts and commissions! Every time I see a commission post, gpose prompts or resources that I think will benefit the community at large (especially if it doesn't fit in the Compendium due to time constraints), I'll add it there.

An affirmations channel! Exactly what it says on the tin. You can link positive words and encouragement to people and they can look in the channel if they need a boost.

Fics, drabbles & asks! If you want to promote your writing/work, especially from my question drive, you can do that there.

There are also a few channels specific to the social role.

An events channel! I try to link any upcoming events I see on the dash, though event owners can promote their own specific venues if they want.

Character profiles for RP and writing!

GPosing, LFG and modding discussions. ✨

The second purpose is what's implied above — a social aspect! I struggle with a lot of one on one conversations, so this server lets me reach out to lots of people without the pressure of missing messages. You do not need to join the social aspect to have access to my projects. It is entirely optional and there for people who want to say hi or meet other people in the community. If you just want to be pinged when a question drive is open or I have updated the Compendium, you're more than welcome to utilise the server just for that.

However, because of my time constraints, I have a series of rules that must be adhered to in order for people to participate fully in SEAFLOOR. Though they're explored in more depth in the server, the main crux are below —

SEAFLOOR is adults-only, 21+. This is entirely because I don't have the time to moderate a server that is friendly towards minors and I generally don't allow them in my space. This is for my own comfort, sorry! You're still welcome to utilise my projects.

As this is a server for adults, I expect you to act like adults. This includes, but is not limited to; enacting your own media literacy in muting, blocking and disengaging with people/topics you don't like; doing your due diligence to protect yourself and others with proper content warnings, spoiler tagging and triggers; keeping to Discord's ToS and respecting people's boundaries and privacy. If I have to moderate, I will be harsh in implementation because I don't have the time for it. Like all my projects, if it becomes too much of a chore or detrimental for my mental health, I will delete it without hesitation. This might be a 'public' server, but it is still my server. I won't hesitate.

In sum: 'Be excellent to each other'. Treat others how you want to be treated, don't start discourse and sort your shit in private. Use your common sense and don't be creepy/weird.

If this sounds like something that might be up your alley, you can give the server a shot here! There's a lot of fun, supportive people and I really enjoy the little community that's been cultivated. I hope you will too!

[relax-and-read-on]

Warhammer's Tumblr Central is currently open to the public!

What is Warhammer's Tumblr central? It's a discord server centered around warhammer lore, be it from games, books or the table top game itself, by and for the tumblr community! We are a 18+ server, nsfw and kink friendly, where you can talk about your favorite books and moment in warhammer! We pride ourself on being an incluse, lgtbq+ friendly place. We want to create an environment that is creative and stimulating, and we have a lot of fanfic writers/fanartist in our server! That said, even if you just want to hang out and chat, you still can join.

Features of the discord server include:

A wide range of channel, letting you mute anything you don't want to see, including nsfw and kinks

Writing bots, challenge and help for fanfic/fanart!

Place to talk canon lore and Headcanons

Promotions of fandom wide events, such as Big Bangs, fictober and fanwork exchange.

Place to share your own work

An international community, active at pretty much any moment of the day

Shipping chanel, where you can talk about your favorite characters and factions

Welcoming of OC, self-insert and any type of fanwork.

If any of this speak and resonate with you, I invite you to visit the link, and please be patient and friendly with the mods, as we get you set up!

[type1diabetesinfandom]

Hello all!

Many, manymanymany apologies for the unannounced hiatus. (Still ongoing. Not enough spoons. D: ) I will be back at some point, I promise.

I've been thinking of this blog a lot, what it means to me, and what I want it to be, especially when I don't have the energy to maintain it. Obviously, collecting all the t1d rep I can find in one place is a huge goal! And I think I've made a pretty good start on that. There's over one thousand posts on this blog and several hundred fics in the AO3 collection. That's a lot of search and save.

That's not all I want to do, though. Fandom, to me, is about the things we love. Reading them, writing them, gushing about them in the middle of the night. Throwing your pencil at the wall because you can't get the angle of that epically-sexy jawline just right. And most of all, sharing it all.

I don't think I'm alone when I say community is HUGE for both people with type one diabetes and folks in fandom.

I think we all know exactly how niche the concept of a character with T1D is. Sure, we can make (and have made!) fics and fan art with T1D rep, but then what? Is there somewhere we can talk about it with fandom friends and have them really get it, or do they just nod mutely and change the subject? Where can you headcanon a character as diabetic without it turning into an educational post?

Or, if you're interested in learning more about life with T1D, whether you don't have it at all or maybe you do but you're on MDI and don't know how to write pumps, who can you ask about it?

And on the flipside: have you ever tried talking fandom at diabetes camp? Because I have.

If any of this feels familiar to you, I've got something awesome to tell you!

Introducing...the Type 1 Diabetes in Fandom Discord Server—a virtual haven where diabetes doesn't define us, but our love for fandoms and creativity certainly does! Whether you're crafting intricate AUs or just can't get the next chapter fast enough, this is YOUR community to thrive, connect, and share ideas or experiences.

What's in it for You?

A safe and supportive space to chat about your fave fics, share recs, and maybe even create some epic friendships

A chance to join discussions on realistic representation and the magical realm of diabetic fan theories

Swap prompts to spark your imagination and fuel your creative prowess

A place to discuss the highs and lows (literally!) of managing Type 1 Diabetes while pursuing your passion for everything fannish

...and all without worry that people won't understand why it's so frustrating when a character fixes their low BG with a timely insulin bolus!

*tip for writers: please google how insulin works before hitting post, please. I beg you.

So if you're up for mingling with like-minded fans or gaining a better understanding of diabetes, this is your opportunity!

Whether you're making a Hogwarts AU or need to cry about your Dexcom readings, we're ready and waiting to meet you. Excited to embark on this epic adventure and make some new friends? Click that join button, and come join the party!

*The Join Button*

[rayshippouuchiha]

yo i'm seeing a lot of dishing about the purity culture of fandom and i absolutely agree

but i'd like to ask

do 'incest fic' count, i mean specifically i'm in the batfam fandom and if you try and write pairing with batman's adopted kids /former robins together everyone and their mother starts screaming at you both online and on ao3, and if you point out the lack of blood relation all you get it 'it's still incest oh my god you're a horrible person who doesn't believe in adopted sibling relationships' and like... i just wanna smush the two pretty vigilante characters together, it's very exhausting, and it also applies to discord, the fandom is very hardcore about policing this and like I get it to an extent because I've seen a lot of posts about how 'seeing batcest on my dash turns my stomach' 'having to scroll past bastcest on ao3 to get anything good is disturbing and disgusting' and tagging, is not enough for these people, i've seen some poor fools pointing out instances of real life adopted siblings who've ended up together due to the adoption being their parents decision ect and the vitriol that's met with is very aggressive, they basically just don't want it to exist and don't want people who ship it to feel safe talking about it out in the open on tumblr because it's weird and something to feel ashamed of that you shouldn't force 'normal people' to see.

And it's like, why do I have to be treated like a fucking leper in online spaces over a ship? It's literally scarlet letter shit where if someone posts something with nightwing x red hood art even if it's cute and utterly harmless like one of them blushing over a hot chocolate people will literally go into their mutuals askbox and 'warn' them that that person you reblogged from likes batcest. Legitimately. It's so toxic.

See, if you're tagging your ship correctly, if you're rating it correctly, if you're posting it in the appropriate places, if you are making it clear what it is that you've created so that others who don't want to interact with it can keep scrolling without clicking or can use their blacklist functions, then you're not doing anything wrong and your responsibility is pretty much over.

And that goes for any ship, any trope, and any fic in any fandom.

It does not matter.

No singular person or group of people has the right to police an entire fandom just because there's content being created that they don't personally like or agree with.

As long as those creators are keeping their content to the appropriate places (i.e. not posting explicit material in a general audience server or purposefully putting ship content under the wrong tag to force others to see it) then it's everyone else's responsibility to curate their own fandom experiences by using blacklists, mute functions, exclude filters, the block button, or just not clicking on content they know they don't like or agree with.

There are ships and tropes that turn my stomach. I don't want to see them, consume them, or even think about them because they squick me out.

And that's on me.

So I block, I blacklist, I mute, and I don't click.

Because the burden of responsibility for what I consume in fandom is on me.

Fandoms are like villages. Yeah, we're all living in close proximity but that doesn't give anyone else the right to come into my house uninvited and tell me they don't like my decor or that I can't cook this particular meal in my kitchen because they are allergic to it even though I never invited them to dinner.

So ignore the people who try and do that.

Tend your roses, fill your shelves, make your meals, and enjoy yourself instead.

[olderthannetfic]

ref this ask here about how people can be a little.... vitriolic about things they see as being out of character: 722140348853387264

Yeah people are just jerks, anon, and some of the hatred about people not writing characters 'right' has been a lot like anti behaviour, complete with harassment on AO3, and the people doing it don't think they're in the wrong. I left those servers fast, let me tell you. I hate some of the fics in my fandom and hate the way people see the characters. it makes me roll my eyes and bitch in a private group chat. I'm a hater, and I know it. I always have been.

But at the same time, these people are having fun. It does not matter at the end of the day. All I have to do is mute or block the authors so I don't see them on AO3, and go talk in a different channel when they're going on about the characters in a way I hate.

It's annoying. But if some 14 year old kid, a person writing on their break from a stressful job, a stay at home parents looking for escapism, whatever, wants to write a hundred cheesy AU's in ways you think are OOC good for them. Be annoyed, then go write what you want to see. As the anon above mentioned it's escapism. We don't get to decide how someone else uses fandom no matter how much it annoys us

I've been in fandom for decades, and no matter how long I'm here, I'm never going to understand why a stranger writing a fic or character in a way you don't warrants harassment, bullying, or cruelty. Grow up and bitch to friends like everyone else, or better yet, write the fic you want to see, or support authors you like.

When I was on maternity leave with my kids I wrote more than ever before. And with my first? I wrote a long, fluffy, coffee shop AU, as I was battling severe post-partum issues, and it brought me a level of joy and relaxation. I'm sure some people hated it and thought it was OOC, but it helped me stay sane. That sounds dramatic, but being able to type away at my silly little story when the rest of my thoughts were horrific? Helped more than I can say, and while I wouldn't want to write or read that fic or anything like it now, it was exactly what I needed at the time. With my second child I wrote a 300k dark fic with all the archive warnings. My third I wrote a long canon divergence that I worked incredibly hard to keep in character. But that first mat leave fic of a fluffy little coffee shop? Still my favourite, even if it's not perfectly in character by any means.

Writing fic is escapism. To the people who are annoyed by OOC fics? Hard same, even though I'm guilty of it myself. To the people who are actually angry about what someone else is doing with their free time and those who harass others? Get off the internet for awhile. You don't know why someone is writing something and, frankly, it's not your business.

--

[jackdaw-kraai]

Hey, Jack? Do you have any advice for dealing with those who do nothing but demand updates for your fics? I'm pretty sure most writers have to deal with this crap, it's just… I have one reasonably popular fic that's been on hiatus for over a year, and it feels like almost every comment I receive is just another demand for an update. I'm starting to regret ever posting that damnable fic in the first place. I don't want to delete it, that would be cruel to the other readers, but I'm already stressed as hell, I already felt guilty for the long hiatus, and these constant demands just kept grinding me down to the point I can't stand to even look at this fic, much less continue writing it. So… any advice?

Oh I have different tactics for different platforms, so I'll give you some tips for all the ones I use and how they synergize. First of, on Ao3, I generally put something in the notes like "writing takes a long time and real life doesn't always cooperate, so be patient. I'm the one actually working on this, so you can deal waiting for me to pour my labor and passion and time into this. Cool? Cool. If you can't be cool, I'll block/mute/freeze you." Then, I put places in the notes where they can find me outside of Ao3 like my tumblr and discord and explain what they can find there, usually this will help redirect. Then, once in a while, I'll answer a comment if I'm feeling like it like "life is still busy, working on this is still fun but very labor intensive in order to make it, ect". If they get pushy, I block them.

On tumblr, if people get pushy about it in the asks, I block them. No question about it, I block them. Once in a while I'll publish one of them with either a compassionate, curt, or snarky explanation depending on my mood, but I don't give all of them the time of day because oh my gods, who has the time once you ask box hits the triple digits?? I also keep a pinned post on my blog with links where you can find my stuff, so people can easily locate it instead of pestering me about it.

On discord I'm most active, so there's a lot of info to find there, but also, there's a lot of friends there who can help intercept anyone asking questions like that and inform them "writing takes time, cool your heels." Having a good moderating structure also helps with this, as well as spoiler channels where you can rant about your progress to people who are willing to be spoilered, or point at to people who aren't down for spoilers but still want info like "them's the rules for the info, if you don't like it, tough tits." I also flat out have a rule amongst the server rules list (mostly stuff like "don't be a bigoted cunt," "don't air your dirty laundry in #general," "if I catch you being a creep to minors, I WILL call the cops on your ass") that says "don't harass the author" and enforce it by having the server closed to anyone who doesn't tick the little box at the top saying "I have read the rules and agree to them." You very quickly get a self-selecting audience that way that knows you won't take their shit.

Key to all of this is to assert yourself and be willing to step on toes to make people back off and give back your personal space. You can't be shy about setting your boundaries, and you don't have to be polite to people crossing them. Even the kindest celebrities often have bodyguards for this reason, and while we may not be celebrities, we can be our own bodyguards enforcing our boundaries. Try giving people a space they can go for information, but information that's given on your terms, not theirs. Pinned posts and A/Ns and the like are excellent for this. And finally, just block people. Literally just block people, even if they're fans. If people make you uncomfortable, remove them from your space, you can literally just do that. You don't owe them access to be able to harass you, and if they can't be polite about this, you can deny them access to you, period.

Fans are a lot of fun, and I love interacting with them! I met some of my best friends as fans first, and they're lovely folks! But you gotta stick to your boundaries in order to keep it fun for everyone, and make sure you state them loud and clear. And if people pretend to not have heard them, you can remind them this isn't a court of law, and even if it was, ignorance of the law is not defense of breaking it. Evict them from the premise without further notice if they won't comply.

[isabellehemlock]

Tips and Resources for curating your fandom experience across platforms

Hi loves,

I wanted to write up a curating resource post for fandom spaces, so here are some things I’ve learned along the way, and though only you can decide what your digital boundaries look like, I do hope that for anyone looking for them, this list might find its way to you.

For tumblr

How to make your DM’s only open to people you follow

How to make it so only people you follow, or people who follow you for a week can reply

How to have your ask box open, but closed to anon’s - no longer needed, there's a simple toggle button near the ask settings for whether to allow anons or not :)

Use the filtering function for your dash (this is also an option for a blocked user - who you might still see if a mutual reblogs them.  You can add their name to your filtered list, and then their post will be hidden on your dash).  This tip brought to you by @quiquimora tumblr resource post (great post if you’re new to tumblr)

For AO3

How to filter out keywords that might appear in summary or author notes, but not in tags (handy for when an author is trying to understandably avoid spoilers in the tags)

A script option for filtering (especially nice if there are certain tags you'll always avoid across fandoms).

Muting authors (a nice option if you don’t necessarily mind engaging with authors in comments, etc, but don’t want to see their content) - this secondary link includes a how to video you can now use the muting feature on AO3, no scripts needed :)

You can block authors now on AO3 as well, and here’s a tweet thread that shows you how, but also what it does, and doesn’t do

If you’d like to avoid certain ship pairings

How to use a few extra search symbols to filter out certain content

Quick tip: don't forget to save your curated search results in either a bookmark, or as a link on your mobile home screen - that way you can just do all the filtering once, vs typing it all over again every time you're loading up AO3

For twitter

Muting words/content

How to set up various privacy settings

For discord

Privacy & Server settings master list

Accessibility settings

Please feel free to reblog with your own tips!

Under the cut, a few extra tips for dipping into new fandom spaces:

Interact with reblogs and hashtags (this isn’t the end all to be all, but one way to showcase your sense of humor with commentary, or digitally applaud a content creator). People can get to know you a bit ;)

If you enjoy content creating, sign up for fandom events: big bangs, reverse big bangs, zines - a fantastic way to connect with several people at once sharing the same hyperfixation as you <3

Look up certain hashtags in someone’s blogs - not in the sense of digging up ten years of posts, but a quick search if you have squicks and triggers that someone might blog about a lot.  It’s not a judgment on them, for many might not follow you for the things you post about either.  It’s just self care to be aware of things you do not want to see on your dash and keep your following list to things that bring you joy - nothing says you can’t do the occasional reblog, or even connect with them on other platforms!

On the flipside - block liberally.  If you look up their blog and you both are on opposite ends of a spectrum on a topic?  Want to ensure they can never say such things to you in DM’s, etc?  Block.

And guess what?  People have the right to do the same to you.  Do not under any circumstances block evade.  This includes going to other platforms to engage with them if you know you’ve been blocked.  Just.don’t.do.it.please.

And if you've made it to the end, you get a digital cookie or hug of your choice 🍪🫂

[basil-appreciation-comic]

IMPORTANT UPDATE!!

the comic is cancelled. you probably already assumed that since i havent posted anything about it in a while but yeah the things dead now lol. mainly because i dont care much about omori anymore, the comic sucked, and it was too much effort. i feel kinda bad about leaving you guys in the dark for this long tho, so i thought id go ahead and include all the scrapped stuff for the comic that never got finished

while i was writing the comic i started a google doc that laid out ideas i had for future pages. heres that if you wanna know how the story ends

it was written over several months and (most) things are in order of where they go on the timeline not when i wrote them so it might be a little hard to follow

also some art i never posted

(at least i dont think ive posted the last one)

i quoted not liking this comic as one of the reasons i stopped so let me explain that with a list of things id change about this if i were to remake it (which i wont)

remove the swearing that was so stupid

make omori mute (and probably use sign language)

omori does not express fear or stress in-game, thats sunnys job. quit it

he also does not cry and generally shows emotions (even the big ones) in more subtle ways (which i think i was trying to shift towards later in the doc) idk why he was so emotional all the time

literally everything about how i portrayed omori actually that was all just awful

the panic attack scene is fucking embarrassing i have no clue what i was thinking. im so sorry for writing it like that i did 0 research beforehand

make it shorter why did i think that would work out

id probably just make it a fic, comics take way too much outta me compared to just writing things

it does not need a big epic ending and probably shouldve ended not long after they escaped black space

the romance is horrible but thats the foundation of the comic so idek what id do about that

stop making everyone talk like therapists 24/7

and yeah it has a lot of problems but i still do care about this due to the ammount of effort and love ive put into it, i just cant and dont want to continue it

so yeah thats where this story ends ig. i had a lot of fun along the way, and thank you so much for all the support. bigger thanks to that one sunflower discord server (if you came from there you know which one) for being my main motivation and support throughout this journey. sucks this comic never got to see its full potential but im relieved to finally lay it to rest. the blog will stay up for archival purposes but i will not continue the comic any further obviously. the ask box will remain open if you wanna say anything or if you have a question about the story or whatever. thanks for reading.

[proshippers-against-censorship]

I hate the assumption that being into "problematic" content inherently involves something about children/minors in at least some kind of way. Basically all I see is arguments how proshipping is bad because of pedophilia and incest.

Ok, but, like, no? Actually ever since joining an 18+ shipping server, I've noticed how much of the content, especially in separately dedicated dark content channels, icks me and I cannot continue reading the conversation. But I still don't harass anyone about it. No, not even when I click on a fic out of curiosity and it ends up making me want to take my eyes out.

I don't want anything about kids or family members in my smut. I only really care for non-con/dub-con, violence and abusive/power imbalanced or yandere relationships (with adults). I'm not interested in experiencing anything like that irl, from neither side, I only like it because it's fiction. The characters I have in mind right now in this particular ship are also both serial killers, btw. Somehow that doesn't seem to be a problem for the majority of people though, because we all know all that "video games cause violence" is nothing but bs.

Or someone could genuinely only read fics about the most wholesome, non-toxic characters in fluffy relationships where they genuinely love each other, and they could still be a proshipper. Because being proship has nothing to do with your own personal preferences, it's a moral stance, not a short way of saying you have socially unacceptable kinks

Yeah. I have it written in SO MANY PLACES on my account that I do not consume incest content (though some of these antis have me tempted to spite ship), and that I don't consume any content with explicitly underage characters...though I do like stuff with babyface femmes because it gives me a bit more body confidence. Its just not my vibe. So its really weird to be accused of being a pedo when I don't want anything to do with kids, whether real or fictional.

But yeah, no, the only servers I've seen, including nsfw and 18+ servers, have been fully separated out. Because part of being respectful is understanding that not everyone wants to see your dick when they open up the channel to talk about hot pockets. And you'd think the folks who don't want to see those things would...just mute/block/ignore those channels instead of commenting like, 'put your tits away' on the nudes channel and shit like that. Those are incredibly light examples, but yeah...if it isn't your favor just walk away? Don't know why that's that hard?

"Ohohhohoho but this dark porn is going to make them want to SA some gal on the streets" You play CoD. Do you want to headshot your neighbor?

You're 100% right, anon. Sorry it took me a long ramble to get to this point, I'm a rambly and kinda nonsensical person, yikes. But yeah, proship is 100% a moral stance. What you personally consume and write doesn't matter. What makes you proship is minding your own business and curating your own online experience instead of expecting the world to cater to you.