#I stopped watching after ep3 for some reason last year

[random-jot]

I’ve restarted The Unsleeping City again and I forgot how many gems there are right in the first couple episodes

• “I don’t read short stories!” I-fucking-conic

• “You shot my tits off”

• Ricky Matsui - a fully grown adult man - has never once doubted that Santa Claus was real, and he’s correct

• The idea of Heaven and Hell using Santa’s naughty and nice list is so fucking funny and so cool

• The whole fever-dream drug trip with Pete right at the start of episode one

• “That sounds like something you all should check out”

[alloftheimagines]

mason kane | you are a memory

MASTERLIST | TAGLIST

words: 3000+

warnings: set during citadel ep3, angst, pain, blood, nothing more than what's in the show

prompt: Reader/oc is a spy for citadel too but she known she was a citadel spy she was safe when the fall happened and when the train event happened and reader thought that they would let mason live a life without the spy life and them so she would continue help out with rebuilding citadel back up etc. maybe building some assets etc then when Nadia and he goes to the safe house they meet back up there some way or another if that makes sense to like Nadia some how got in contact with reader??  tag: @thefictionalgemini

It feels like you’ve waited centuries for that sound: the door opening. For years, you’ve lived in the safe house alone, never stopping your search for other Citadel members and doing what you can to aid them when needed. But few of them survived, and even less had reason to come to you. 

But you knew, somehow — or at least hoped — that he would come home. That you’d see him again. 

It feels like a dream, then, when Nadia steps through the threshold, offering you a crooked, familiar smirk before shifting aside so he’s in full view behind. There’s a sorrow in her eyes you don’t dare unpack, not yet. For now, your gaze crawls across his frame. He’s barely changed. Hair still short and brushed back, eyes still that unbearably bright blue. Laughter lines bracket his cheeks along with rough, red-tinted stubble, and it feels like no time has passed at all now. An eternity shrinks between you in a second, and your heart restarts, your world turning to colour. 

“Mason,” you whisper, voice cracking, tears brimming. You want to run to him, fall into him and never let go, but Nadia is watching and… he is, too, with furrowed brows. Confused. 

A cold wave crashes through you as you look at Nadia again, and her nod confirms your fear. He doesn’t know you. 

Mason clears his throat, dropping the case to the ground and rubbing his hands together as though trying to warn him. “We know each other, then. You’re the one Nadia told me about. Y/N?” Your name twists across his tongue like a stumbling dancer in their first lesson. Unsure of the steps. Unsure of how it should sound. 

Something inside you cracks, but in all your solitary years here, you’ve never allowed yourself to succumb to all the pain and grief dwelling inside you. You’ve never let yourself give up, not on him or on Citadel. So you tip your chin and hope it doesn’t wobble. 

“I guess you could say that. I was usually in your ear.” You tap an imaginary earpiece, feeling awkward and stiff and lost. More lost, more alone, than you have in this empty house for years. “I worked on communications in Citadel. Never usually in the field.”

“I can’t believe you’re here after all these years,” Nadia said, voice soft as always. It’s clear that while Mason has lost his memories, she has found hers just fine, and you wonder how that’s fair. How it came to be.  “How did you know we were coming?”

“I didn’t. I’ve been here since we went dark ten years ago.”

“Are there more?” Mason glanced around, rubbing the back of his neck. “More people waiting for us?”

You shake your head, a pang of well-hidden grief shooting through you. “No. Just me.”

His gaze snaps to you without warning, piercing and all-consuming and utterly surprised. “You’ve been hiding here alone for the last decade?���

“Yep. So if I start talking to myself, don’t be too worried. I’m not used to company.” You smirk and turn away from him, rubbing your aching sternum. “It was Carter who told me to head here. Said he’d be in contact. We were back and forth for years until he went dark, too. The only connection with Citadel I had left. I tried to track him down, but… I don’t have the field experience. Not like you. Think he’s alive, though.”

“You know where he could be?” Nadia asked. 

“I have my theories.”

“As much as I’d love to hear them, I need a shower first. That okay?”

“Knock yourself out.”

She traipses up the stairs with a final, pointed glance as though to say “You’re welcome" for leaving you alone with him. But you’re the opposite of thankful. In front of Nadia, you might be able to act professionally. Unaffected. But it’s just the two of you now, and the man you love doesn’t even know you, and he’d always had a knack for completely unravelling you. 

The silence is stifling. You motion to the living room, to the couch. “You should sit. You look like you’ve had a rough time of it.”

His smile is wry. “That’s one word for it.”

You follow him in, and he sighs as he plonks himself down. He pulls a lighter from his pocket and begins flicking it, and for a moment you’re certain that you were wrong; that he knows himself, knows you. It’s such an old, familiar habit. So many times you listened to that metallic click, let it soothe you as you figured out a plan today. 

He catches you watching, then, and hope is washed away as quickly as it came. There’s none of that old fondness in his eyes, even if natural confidence still oozes from him like blood from a wound. 

He’s Mason, but he isn’t your Mason. 

The man you’ve been waiting for, the man for whom you prayed over and over to be alive, is not here anymore.

“Didn’t Bernard ever contact you?” he asks finally. 

“No.” You narrow your eyes, wishing you were comfortable enough to sit beside him. Wishing you could reach out, touch him. Ask him where he’s been. You’re not sure you want to know. A lot can happen in ten years, especially to a man who doesn’t know his own name. “Should he have?”

“He’s the one who came to me. Told me who I was. He needed my help.”

That bastard. He’d left you in the dark. Disposed of you. You want to believe that he walked away too, that he needed it to be this way to keep any agents still living safe, but… He could have contacted you. Could have found you here. This safe house is one of the few Citadel-owned places left untouched, unknown by your enemies. Perhaps the silence had protected you, but it also drove you crazy. You’d felt like a prisoner most days, always waiting for your computer to ping or an agent to show up and liberate you. 

You’d wasted your life waiting. For Bernard. For Mason. For Citadel. 

Your fists clench at your sides, and you can no longer look at Mason. “I didn’t think you’d made it out,” you admitted, voice thickening just slightly. “I thought you were dead.”

He leans forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. “I don’t understand,” he said quietly. “They just left you here, no contact with any of us? Why?”

“Maybe they didn’t want anybody finding out about this place. It’s the only sanctuary we have left. They wouldn’t compromise that by communicating with me, and honestly, I didn’t know what else to do. Citadel was my life. I had to keep trying, keep hoping…” 

It’s a lie, of course. Mason was your life. Citadel was a close second. Bernard had known that; perhaps that’s why he hadn’t bothered to find a way through to you. Perhaps he hadn’t wanted you to know that Mason was still alive, because you’d never been discrete about your feelings for him. You wouldn’t have let him go without a fight, and they’d needed their entire operations to become invisible. 

They needed him to forget while you stayed here, a ghost in a house much too big for one person. They’d known that you’d wait for eternity if it meant the chance to see him again.

You finally sit in the armchair across from him, folding your hands on your lap as anger glows like embers in your gut. “I thought you were dead,” you admit. “Carter told me about the train, the explosion… He told me you were probably dead. Both of you.”

Mason looks down at his hands. “I can’t get my memories back. They were destroyed. Gone. I know that I should know you, but I don’t.”

You swallow the lump in your throat. “I guessed as much.” 

“There’s no other way, right?”

You shake your head solemnly. “Not that I know of. Then again, nobody tells me anything, clearly.” You can’t help the bitterness seeping into your words. 

He rubs a thumb across his chin. “It’s weird. I feel like…” He trails off, and you lean forward curiously. 

“What?” 

A shrug. “I’ve seen your face before. I got flashes sometimes — memories, I guess. You were in them.”

Your heart lifts just a little. 

“And your voice.” His volume lowers. “I heard it. I never knew whose it was. Thought I was going crazy. But it’s yours. It was you.”

Your fingers begin to tremble. You don’t know what to say. It feels cruel, somehow, him telling you this. Dangling hope in front of your face. He can’t know how much it hurts, of course, but it makes you grit your teeth all the same. 

“So where did you end up all these years?” you ask, hoping the answer might give you some closure. Some truth. 

“I went by Kyle. Got married. Had a daughter.” His mouth upturns at the corners, and it makes you want to die. 

He got a new life. You were here, rotting, waiting, and he was making a family. 

“Where are they now?” 

“Back home,” he says. “With Bernard’s wife. Safe.”

You nod. It’s an effort to keep your features smooth as your gaze snags on a bloodied tear in his jacket. “You’re hurt.”

In an instant, you’re up, heading into the kitchen to grab a first aid kit. When you get back, you motion to his jacket and he takes it off obediently, wincing. “It’s nothing. Just a scratch.”

A deep one, clearly made by a bullet. You sigh and perch beside him, forgetting that you should probably ask before getting this close to him. Forgetting that you’re not the one who should be tending to his wounds anymore. 

He hisses when you dab the saline-soaked cloth to the graze. 

“You used to be tougher,” you tease. 

He smirks at that, crooked and warm if not steel-edged as a knife. Electricity buzzes through you, because you’ve missed the way he tries not to laugh at your shitty jabs. The way he tries to hide his humour, but it comes out through his cracks all the same. “I wouldn’t know.” And then: “Will you come with us to find Carter?”

The question throws you off-guard, and you look around. This prison is also your shelter, and you’re not sure you know how to jump back into the real world, a world of crime and violence and him. He’s married. He isn’t yours. And why should you aid them, when Bernard cut you away from the rest of the group so cleanly? 

“I don’t know,” you confess quietly. “I’ve been hiding for a long time. I think I’m more useful here.”

“We could use all the help we can get.” 

The cloth comes away red, but the bleeding has stopped. You get the bandages ready and hum, pretending to deliberate. 

He stops you with a hand across yours. “I mean it. I don’t remember how to do this.”

“It’ll come to you.” You snatch your hand away; keep unrolling the bandage. Maybe it’s weak, maybe it’s cowardly, but you need a moment to breathe after this. Need a moment to adjust to a world where Mason isn’t dead, but still isn’t Mason. You need to figure out if keeping this house safe, keeping Citadel and its missing members safe, is worth it after the way they’ve pushed you aside. 

“We need you.”

“You did okay without me for the last ten years,” you snap, wishing immediately you could take it back. 

Overwhelmed, you abandon the bandages and the wound, averting your gaze because even now it feels too heavy, too dangerous. Like he could strip your skin and bones away if he wanted. Like he could leave you raw. 

You used to like that about him. Now you hate it. More so because he doesn’t even realise he’s capable of it. 

“I was living a lie.” His voice is firmer now. Raspier. “I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t choose it!” 

“Neither did I!” you erupt. “I thought you were dead, Mason! I was here, alone, always wondering if you were. Wondering whether anything would ever change! And now you’re here and you don’t know me, but you’re asking me to be somebody I haven’t been in a very long time. What am I supposed to do with that? How the hell am I supposed to be okay with it?”

A wrinkle burrows between his brows. For moments, he remains unreadable until he finally looks up at you. “We weren’t just working together, were we?”

You can’t answer him. You don’t want to have to tell him that you were in love, that everything that made life worth living had been snatched away the day he went missing. 

“Tell me,” he demands, standing up. “Tell me, Y/N. Were we together?”

Your chin wobbles, and you can’t keep pretending. You can’t keep ignoring the hole in your chest. “Yes.” 

It’s clear he doesn’t know what to say, and you know that there is nothing he could. Nothing that would make it easier, at least. You are cursed, the one who will remember. The only one who longs for endless nights tangled between the sheets and stupid back-and-forths through his earpiece. You’re the only one who remembers the rush you felt when you worked together, him in the field and you safe by your computer. 

You’re the only one who remembers the night he told you he loved you, and the morning you said it back. He gets to move on, gets to feel nothing but indifference, while you carry a decades’ worth of grief and yearning and pain on your back. And you could deal with that before, when your days were made of aimlessly checking for messages or signs of Citadel activity and scrambling your eggs and staying in your pyjamas because nobody saw you anyway, but now he is inescapable and you find yourself wanting to shut the door in his face just so you don’t have to look at it and see the man you used to know buried under the haze and amnesia and this new life you have not been apart of. 

Eventually, he steps forward — and somehow looks apologetic. “I wish I remembered,” he whispers. “I’m sorry. But do you honestly want to stay here, alone? There must have been a reason you stayed. It wasn’t just for the view, right?”

For you, you want to say. I was waiting for you.

But he’s right. Your memories might remain intact, but you were once much more than this. You were quick, determined, unrelenting. It had taken years before you stopped searching for sign of Mason every day. But you had. You’d dwindled. Perhaps you’d given up without realising it. 

The person you used to be would never have grown this despondent. You would have stitched your own broken heart back together and yanked back your power, proving to Citadel you’re a worthy asset. The only one skilled enough to perform what they needed. To fight terrorism and organised crime from behind a screen. 

You miss that fire in your belly. Now, it's no more than ash. 

Finally, you turn your hardened stare back to him. “No. It wasn’t just for the view.”

He nods as though he knows your mind has changed, determination sharpening his own face. “Then you’ll help us.”

“I’ll help you,” you decide. Even if it hurts. Even if you’re not sure you want to anymore. 

The back of his hand brushes yours, and your skin tingles. You look down and know it was no accident; his fingers twitch from the impact like a bird stunned after hitting the window. When you lock eyes, you see a flicker of him. Your Mason. Arrogance and softness all at once. A lion ready to pounce because he’s never known how to stay still. How did he manage it, being a family man? 

What did he think when he saw glimpses of you?

It doesn’t matter. Your Mason might be gone, but so is Kyle. He’s someone new now, and you’ll just have to get to know this new version of him. 

Just as he’ll have to get to know this new version of you. You’re not sure who you’ll be yet, still scarred and unsure, but you think that if he can walk through your door and find you against all odds,, maybe you can find him, too. 

He keeps his eyes on the view behind the window, eyes turning the same forest green as the trees outside. Still, his arm is warm against yours, his broad shoulders squared and ready. 

“Good,” he mutters, sending you a half-smile. “Because I’m going to need somebody to tell me who I really am. Who Mason Kane is.”

That, you might just be able to do. “An asshole,” you quip dryly. “Mason Kane was an asshole.” And god, did he love it when you said so. 

As though it’s ingrained in his muscle memory, Mason lets out a chuckle — half-joy and half-disbelief. He raises his brow, flirtatious though you’re not sure he knows it yet. “That right?”

“Yep.” You cross your arms over your chest and try to stifle your hope, but it’s no use. It comes anyway. “With a capital A.”

This man might not be Mason, but he’s a hell of a lot like him. For now, that has to be enough.

[upslapmeal]

So apparently the last time I watched Classic Who was *ahem* summer 2019, after which I stopped for absolutely no reason whatsoever

But! The prospect of an easter special with the sea devils has spurred me into action and so here I am, back working my way through Classic Who and wondering why I ever stopped

First things first: delve into my drafts and post the serial reviews from three years ago so I can move onto posting about the ones I’m watching now

Doctor Who and the Silurians

we finally meet Bessie!!

at this point I'm finding it weird being in colour

I wonder what the filming schedule was like compared to b&w

truly special effects to rival Jurassic park

"it's certainly something I've not seen before" "you mean in museums" "NO I DO NOT wait actually maybe I do"

"have you never heard of female emancipation?" LIZ SHAW

Local Villager Terrorised Again

(present day me butting in to add that I honestly don’t know what some of these points refer to now)

that flash reveal at the end of ep3 would have worked so well back then without the ability to rewatch/gif etc!

cave-traversing pigtails Liz

the moon! (which is of course an egg)

this feels like that s5 Chibbs two-parter but it makes more sense

honestly it’s hard to keep track of which Silurian is which

"I'm beginning to lose confidence for the first time in my life and that covers several thousand years" I’d be annoyed if there was anything other than constant inconsistency with the Doctor’s age

the tone of voice makes it like "Our leader is dead :D I killed him :D I am the leader now"

*revives Silurian after millions of years* *Silurian pulls back down the lid bc it's too early to wake up*

The Ambassadors of Death

oooh a cold open

the ambassadors......OF DEATH

is this our first time in Three’s TARDIS?

we didn't get to see Liz's reaction to it :(

is this one still partly missing? Hadn't expected a trip back to b&w

ANTI-THIEF DEVICE

Liz looking snazzy in her hat

Earth-bound Doctor wants to go into space!

"it's simple enough.. even you might be able to manage it" I've mentioned how much I love Liz right

a time bomb goes off and all the Doctor has is a plaster on his cheek

the person who kidnapped Liz looks like a knockoff John Cleese

Benton!

thuggy guard: don't try anything Liz: it's alright I won't hurt you

this is what? her third story? and Liz is already up there with Vicki and Babs as my all-time faves

I really like how they did Three arriving in that space ship w floating and perspective

oh so are literally ambassadors lol

~~dramatic face reveal~~

Inferno

LAVAAA

v dramatic title card

raaa raaa radum da daaaaaa

GREEN GOO

"I can see why you grew that moustache" don't you remember Bret Doctor?

sonic.....doorhandle!

how......did the Doctor get the console out of the TARDIS

stellar visuals during this TARDIS console flight :D

oh I don't like this drilling expert I hope Petra proves him wrong

Venusian karate!

sneaky sneaky tricking Liz into going away

I knew I'd heard a lot about this and I couldn't remember why until the doctor landed back in 'his workshop' and suddenly OH THIS IS THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE ONE

"unity is strength" YEP HERE WE GO

Brigade Leader don't ask for his name, it's decades until we get to that plot

eyepatch!!

lol at least Evil Petra is standing up to that guy

I mean she's wrong but she's not letting him belittle her

Three calling the royals a 'charming family' is making me laugh compared to Eccle's insta

"I don't exist in your world" "then you won't feel the bullets when we shoot you" I actually said OOOH out loud

love parallel worlds that are completely different but somehow have the exact same people, kinda the opposite of the butterfly effect

Can you imagine if Three was actually shot on the firing range and then just.....exploded and turned into a different person

the Doctor invented remote controls

loving Elizabeth and Petra vs Brigade Leader

'yes yes of course you are' drippingly patronising, even parallel Liz is brilliant

NOT-LIZ SHOT THE NOT-BRIG

......they just all died

Nobody: Stalmann: Sir Keith is an old woman

(^ what on earth does that comment mean??)

"I'll send for a doctor" "I happen to be a doctor Brigadier, remember?" I LOVE LIZ I'M NOT READY TO LOSE HER

Three: I'll miss you Liz Me: ME TOO

Terror of the Autons

RIP I didn’t make any notes for this but! the Master!! and the tissue compression eliminator!

and Jo Grant!

and also this beauty

plus one mystery timelord who, as far as I’m aware, we never meet again?

Overall a solid start to Three’s run! I think! It’s been a while and my memory is hazy! But I think I am correct in saying I enjoyed Inferno most out of those four, or maybe Terror of the Autons..

[the-chocoholic-writer]

Madripoor

Zemo and Sarah’s time in Madripoor

Warnings: SPOILERS FOR EP3, violence, flirting, ect.

Words: 3527

“He’s just through that corridor.” The security guard points to a door down the large hallway. Sarah stand between Sam and Bucky as the guard stops walking.

“Alright. Give us a sec.” Bucky turns to the two as the guard walks off. “I’m gonna go in alone.” Sam and Sarah look at Bucky like he has lost the plot.

“Why?”

“Cause you’re Avengers. You know how he feels about that.”

“Buck it’s not like you two were known for frolickin’ in the sun together.” Sam gestures to where Zemo is.

“This is dangerous Bucky... HE is dangerous.” Sarah states, looking at Bucky, concerned.

“He was obsessed with Hydra... We have a history together. Trust me...” He looks at them. “I got it.” He walks off before they can say anything.

“I hope he’s alright in there...” Sarah says to Sam, after Bucky leaves the pair alone.

“He will be... He’s Bucky.” Sam places his hand on Sarah’s shoulder and gives her a soft smile.

~Later~

“What are you talking about? You wanna break Zemo outta jail? Where the hell are we, Buck? Have you lost your mind?” Sam shines a torch around the large empty room.

“We have no leads, no moves, nothing.”

“What we have is one of the most dangerous men in the world behind bars.”

“And we also have eight Super Soldiers that are loose.” Sam covers his eyes as Bucky shines the light at his face.

“Sarah how do you feel about this?” Sam turn to Sarah. Sarah quickly turns to Sam.

“I don’t think it’s safe to break Zemo out... remember what happened last time we dealt with him?” The pair look at Bucky.

“Exactly. Zemo’s gonna mess with our minds. Especially yours. No offence.” Bucky flips a switch and these large lights begin turning on. The three switch their flashlights off.

“Offense.” Bucky glares at Sam. “Super Soldiers go against everything he believes in. He is crazy, but he still has a code.” Bucky walks away from Sam and Sarah.

“I’ve been on the wrong side of that code, Buck, and so have you and Sarah. He blew up the UN, he killed King T’Chaka and framed you for it. Did you forget that? You think the Wakandans forgot about it? It’s a rhetorical question. They didn’t. I know why this matters to you, but c’mon it’s pushing you off the deep end.” Sam takes a step forward as Bucky opens his arms.

“Sam, we don’t know how they’re gettin’ the serum. We don’t even know how many of them there are.” He sighs softly.

“This is a little too crazy Bucky... we will figure it out okay? We don’t need Zemo.” Sarah steps forward and gives him a soft smile and she rests her hand on his arm.

“Look, let me run you through a hypothetical. Can I run you through a hypothetical?”

“Bucky...” Sarah’s smile turns into a frown, as Sam turns to look at him.

“What did you do?”

“I didn’t... do anything...” Bucky loos to the left, refusing to make eye contact.

“The weakest point in the system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element. Now, in this lockup, it’s nine to one, prisoners to guards, and if two prisoners start fighting then the protocol says four guards have to respond.”

“So why would two prisoners start randomly fighting at that moment?”

“Who knows? There could be many reasons...”

“What I’m hearing is that you started it.” Sarah crosses her arms.

“The point is, these things escalate.  Lockdown procedures would have to be initiated, and with all those bodies flying around left and right, it wouldn’t be hard to slip down a hallway or two.” Sarah shakes her head and facepalms, exasperated. Bucky starts up again. “And if the fire alarm got tripped while the prisoners were being separated... someone could use the chair to their advantage.” Bucky does a small shrug.

“I don’t like how causal you’re being about this. This is unnatural. Are you... And where are we, man?” Suddenly, a door loudly opens.

“Bucky, you didn’t...” Sarah gasps at him.

The three look over at a plastic curtain, seeing the silhouette of a man grow smaller the closer he gets, until HE emerges.

“Whoa. Whoa, whoa. hey! What are you doin’ here?”

“No, listen. I didn’t tell you ‘cause I knew neither of you would let this happen.” Bucky looks at Sarah, who is staring at Zemo, eyes wide, knowing memories of what he had done were running through her mind.

“What did you do?!” Sam gets in Bucky’s face.

“We need him, Sam... Sarah.”

“No, Bucky, this is crazy. Even for you!” Sarah growls, a glare plastered to her face.

“You’re going back to prison!” Sam points at Zemo.

“If I may...” The man in question begins.

“NO!” The three yell at him. He looks a little startled by the sudden synchronisation but nods softly and whispers out a small “Apologies.” Bucky turns to Sarah and Sam.

“When Steve refused to sign the Sokovia Accords, you both backed him. You broke the law, and you stuck your necks out for me. I’m asking you both to do it again.”

“I really think I’m invaluable...” Zemo once again interrupts. Sarah groans softly as Sam turns to him, with a glare.

“Shut up.” Zemo squints at him. Sam looks at Bucky and sighs, shaking his head.

“Okay. If we do this, you don’t make a move without our permission.”

Zemo makes a face for a second and nods.

“Fair.”

“I don’t like this...” Sarah looks at Bucky and Sam. The pair shrug and turn back to Zemo.

“Okay, Zemo. Where do we start?” The three look at him as he smiles.

“So our first move is grand theft auto?” Sam looks at the large number of cars.

“These are mine. Collected by family over the generations. I spent years hunting people HYDRA recruited to recreate the serum.” Sarah, Sam and Bucky look around at all of his cars. “Because once it’s out there, someone can crate an army of people... Like the Avengers.” Zemo looks at Sam, his eyes flickering over to Sarah who stands beside Sam. “I ended the Winter Soldier program once before. I have no intention to leave my work unfinished.” He grabs a large coat from the top of his car. “To do this we’ll have to scale a ladder of lowlifes.” He begins walking away from the trio and the car.

“Well, join the party. We’ve already started.”

“First still is a woman named Selby. Mid-level fence I still have a line on. From there, we climb.” Sarah looks at Sam and begins to follow Zemo, Bucky and Sam right behind her.

The four walk towards the door of a private jet where an older man stands, waiting.

“So all this time you’ve been rich?”the look of confusion on Sam’s face made Sarah giggle softly, to herself.

“I’m a Baron, Sam. My family was royalty until your friends destroyed my country.” Sarah watches as Zemo and the older man talk in Russian, happiness and comfort evident on the Baron’s face. “Please.” Zemo gestures and leads the three up the stairs of the jet.

Once the four are in the jet, Sarah sitting across from Zemo. The older man explains the fridge is out.

“If it doesn’t pass the smell test... give it to them. But not the beautiful woman.” Zemo smiles as the older man laughs and leaves. Sarah zoned out of the conversation for some time, translating Zemo’s words and tries to figure out if he had actually meant to say beautiful or not. She is only snapped back to reality when she sees Bucky with his hand around Zemo’s throat.

“I’ve seen that book. It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book. Did you hear it? What’d you think?” Sam looks at Bucky expectantly.

“I like ‘40s music, so...” Bucky shrugs.

“You didn’t like it?”

“I liked it..”

“Trouble Man is amazing.” Sarah states.

“It is a masterpiece, James. Complete. Comprehensive. It captures the African-America experience.” Sam and Sarah look at Zemo confused for a second before they turn back to Bucky.

“He does have a point.” Sarah agrees with the Baron.

“He’s out of line, but he’s right. It’s great. Everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”

“I liked Marvin Gaye.”

“Steve adored Marvin Gaye.” Sarah shakes her head softly, takes out her phone and headphones out and puts on some ‘calming’ music by Pan!c at the Disco, trying to delve into her own little world as she looks out the window of the jet.

~~In Madripoor~~

“We have to do something about this. I’m the only one who looks like a pimp.” Sam complains.

“Only an American would assume a fashion-forward black man looks like a pimp. You look exactly like the man you’re supposed to be playing. The sophisticated, charming African rake names Conrad Mack, aka the Smiling Tiger.” Zemo shows Sam a picture of the man he is impersonating on his phone as the four continue walking.

“He even has a bad nickname. Hell, he does look like me, though.”

“Well you aren’t the only one who hates this plan, Sam...” Sarah walks in between Bucky and the Baron, in a small black dress and black heels that Zemo had bought for her to wear. “Do I really have to wear this? And who the fuck am I supposed to be?” She looks at Zemo, an annoyed glare pointed at him.

“Yes, darling. And you are my fiancée, it would be too suspicious for a new face to show up without a specific reason. No matter what happens, we have to stay in character. Our lives depend on it. There’s no margin for error.” Zemo states as a black car pulls up in front of them. He reached forward and opens the door for Sarah, who nods at him as she climbs into the middle seat, between Sam and Bucky. During the car ride, Zemo’s eyes flicker up to the mirror, watching Sarah. She notices his staring and she looks down, a soft blush covering her face. Suddenly, a group of motorbikes come out of nowhere, surrounding the car.

The car pulls up and Sam, Bucky and Zemo climb out of the car. Sarah turns to climb out after Bucky but an outstretched hand stops her. Specifically Zemo’s hand, waiting for her to take it. She reaches out and places her small hand in his and he helps her out of the car, wrapping his arm around her waist. Sarah tenses and he leans down, lips millimeters away from her ear.

“You’re my girl here, that’s your character.” He whispers huskily. The hand on her waist gives her a soft squeeze. She takes a small breath and leans against him, as the four of them walk along the walk above the large crowd of people.

As the four of them walk into the Princess Bar, Zemo’s grip on her tightens, pressing her close to him. The fur on his coat tickles her cheek and neck. “Here we are... Ready to comply, Winter Soldier?” Zemo asks as he leads Sarah, Sam and Bucky to the bar, still holding the woman’s waist. As the four make it to the bar, the bartender walks over, surprise written all over his face.

“Hello Miss, Gentlemen. Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.”

“His plans changed. We have business to do with Selby.” The bartender looks at Zemo with suspicion, then looks at the Sam.

“The usual?” Sam nods.

“Ah... Smiling Tiger, your favourite.” Zemo says, watching the bartender cut open a snake, using it to make the Smiling Tigers usual drink.

“I love these..” Sam says with slight hesitation. Zemo lifts his drink.

“Cheers Conrad.” Zemo drinks his own as Sarah sips on her drink, watching the two. Sam hesitates, then takes the drink like a shot, giving the bartender a thumbs up.

A man walks up behind Zemo and as he turns, moves Sarah out of the way of any possible harm.

“I got word from on high. You ain’t welcome here.”

“I have no business with the Power Broker, but if he insists, he can either come and talk to me...” Zemo gestures to Bucky.

“New haircut?” The man questions Bucky.

“Or bring Selby for a chat.” Zemo watches the man. He looks at Zemo, then at Bucky, then Sam and lastly towards Sarah who is peeking out from behind Zemo’s protective stance.

“A Power Broker? Really?” Bucky looks at Zemo, obviously done with this situation.

“Every kingdom needs its king.” Zemo slides his arm back around Sarah, softly and sneakily massaging the small area on her waist. “Let’s just pray we stay under his radar.”

“Do you know him?” Sam questions.

“Only by reputation.”

“That doesn’t sound to good.” Sarah mumbles, taking another sip of her drink.

“It’s not. In Madripoor, he is judge, jury and executioner.” Zemo looks around the room and then turns back to the bar. “Winter Soldier. Attack.” The moment the man roughly placed his hand on Zemo, Bucky’s metal arm shot out, grabbing his wrist and twisting, pushing the man to the middle of the floor.

Sam, Sarah and Zemo watch as Bucky kicks ass left and right, causing not only damage to the people but to the furniture around him. Zemo leans close to Sarah and Sam.

“Didn’t take much for him to fall back into form.” Zemo states. Bucky slams a man down onto the bar, then the sound of guns cocking. Sam and Zemo look around the bar at everyone and Zemo grabs Sarah, pulling her close, trying to protect her. Sam places a hand on Bucky’s arm.

“Stay in character or the whole bar turns on us.” Zemo whispers to Sam, then he turns to Bucky. “Well done, Soldier.” The bartender watches as Bucky doesn’t let go of the man.

“Selby will see you now.” Bucky let’s go of the man, slowly.

“Thank you.” Zemo nods and gives Sarah’s waist a squeeze. Sam turns to Bucky.

“You good?” He says softly. Bucky looks at Sam quickly before following Zemo and Sarah. Sam following shortly after.

“You should know, Baron. People don’t just come into my bar and make demands.” The woman, Selby, state as the four enter the room.

“Not a demand. An offer.” Zemo sits down, Sarah sitting down on his lap.

“A lot has changed since you were here last.” Sarah decides at that moment to play the character she was given and rests her head on Zemo’s shoulder, playing with the ends of his hair, sneakily paying attention to the entire conversation. Sarah then slides off the Baron’s lap, he gestures for her to sit back where he was sitting and he walks over to Bucky.

“And I give you him.” He walks around, behind Bucky, who looks like a statue. “Along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want.” Zemo runs his fingers over Bucky’s chin, softly grabbing and wiggling the end.

“Now that’s the Zemo I remember. I’m glad I decided not to kill you immediately. However, I want something else to go along with him.” She smirks at the two men, slowly turning to look at Sarah, who is still sitting on the chair opposite her. “I want that pretty little thing as well.” Zemo walks away from the soldier and Sarah scoots out of the chair for him to sit, taking her original place in his lap.

“Not this one, she’s mine.” His hand cups Sarah’s butt and squeezes, as a way of staking his claim in front of Selby. Sarah, deciding she didn’t like the way the woman talked about her as though she’s an object, steps in.

“I belong to my Baron.” She runs her fingers through the back of his hair. Selby looks disappointed by gives Zemo the information about the Super Soldier Serum and a man called Dr. Wilfred Nagel.

“You can’t find Nagel without me.” Sam’s phone vibrates suddenly.

“Sam? Who’s Sam? Kill them!” Suddenly Selby is on the floor dead with a bullet wound and then chaos ensues. Bucky and Sam take out two of her bodyguards as Sarah pulls a knife out from under her dress and stabs another in between the eyes. She lets the body fall and hit the ground, turns to look at the three men who came with her, staring at her in shock.

“Did you three REALLY think I was coming HERE, defenceless??” Sarah rolls her eyes. The four move towards the exit.

“They’re gonna pin this on us.” Sam states, leaning against the door. Zemo sighs, as Sarah sheaths her knife, the three men’s eyes lingering on her exposed thigh.

“We have a real problem now, so leave your weapons and follow my lead.”

Bucky, Sam, Sarah and Zemo quickly leave the area, the sound of phones receiving messages going off all around them. Zemo’s arm is once again around Sarah’s waist.

“This is not good...” suddenly the light above them go out and multiple gun shots are heard. The four duck and Zemo turns and drags Sarah off down an alley, leaving Bucky and Sam.

“Zemo wait! I can’t run in the-“

Sarah trips, her eyes closed as she waits for the rough impact but instead feels the soft fur from Zemo’s coat. He caught me... the two stare at each other for a moment before Zemo picks Sarah up and continues running down the alleyway.

Finally they got to the end of the alley and turn the corner to see Sam and Bucky standing there, as a body falls.

“You seem to have a guardian angel.” He points out.

“Well this is too perfect.” The last person the four expected to see was Sharon Carter to walk out of the shadow. “Let go of Sarah and drop it, Zemo.” Zemo puts the gun down and lets of Sarah reluctantly.

“Sharon?” Bucky takes a step forward.

~~~~ skip forward to the party at Sharon’s~~~~

Sarah stands off to the side of the crowd still wearing the dress Zemo bought her. Bucky and Sam are talking as she looks around at the dancing crowd only to see Zemo...

Sarah let’s put a tiny laugh, shaking her head at the sight. When she looks back up at him, he is gesturing for her to come dance with him. Sarah thinks for a second before a goofy smile appears and she pushes off the bar and joins Zemo in the crowd.

“Those are so great moves!” She calls out to him over the crowd, he grabs her hands and continues dancing.

“Then dance with me!” He calls back, a large goofy smile on his face. The pair end up dancing and looking at some of the artwork together until they meet up with Sam and Bucky, waiting for Sharon.

“Hey, guys. I found him.” Sharon motions for the four to follow her. Sam turns to Bucky.

“Here we go.”

“Alright, he’s in there. Container four-two-six-one. Sarah and I will keep an eye out while you guys talk to Nagel. But hurry. We’re on borrowed time.” Sharon holds out her palm with five ear pieces for everyone. Sarah, Sam, Bucky and Zemo take theirs and Sharon leads Sarah away from the group, noticing how Zemo watches as the two disappear.

Minutes later, Sharon turns to Sarah.

“So, Zemo seems to have taken a liking to you?” She smirks.

“No he doesn’t.” Sarah shakes her head as she looks around, guarding the shipping container. “It was Allan act. I had to pretend to be his fiancée to get into the club.”

“It’s pretty obvious it wasn’t an act, when I showed up pointing that gun at him, he was being protective.” Sarah rolls her eyes as Sharon nudges her.

The pair are oblivious to the fact that their earpieces were still on and Zemo, Sam and Bucky could hear everything. Sam and Bucky turn slowly to glare at Zemo and if looks could kill, he would have been dead already. However he isn’t paying attention to the two, instead distracted by the voices in his ear and the burnin blush covering his cheeks.

~~~ After the explosion and Zemo’s scene of him kicking ass ~~~

Zemo pulls up in front of the group and shrugs.

“Supercharged.”

Bucky climbs in the passenger seat and Sam climbs in behind him, Sarah walking around the front of the car. Before she opens the passenger door behind Zemo, he opens his door.

“Come here for a second.” Sarah looks at him inquisitively but complies, standing in front of him. Zemo reaches up, grabs her waist and pulls her onto his lap, passionately kissing her for a minute, Sam complaining in the back. He pulls away and smirks, giving her a small wink. She blushes and he pats her ass, for her to climb into her seat. She does so in a daze and once she is buckled in, Zemo takes off.

[stammiviktor]

yuri on ice & good omens: an analysis

No two shows have ever drawn me in as quickly or as thoroughly as Yuri on Ice and Good Omens. I’d only ever written for two different fandoms before these and, for those other shows, I started watching them young and fell in love slowly. I wrote extensively, but the focus was rarely on romance—usually I was somewhat ambivalent toward the possible pairings, or I liked the pairing only because of a one-sided interest in one of the characters. Up until I got obsessed with YOI two years ago, I thought maybe *I* was ambivalent to romance, which was why falling for Yuri on Ice (and Viktor and Yuuri’s love story) was such a surprise. 

Now I feel like something extremely similar has happened with me for Good Omens and Aziraphale and Crowley’s story, and I’m starting to notice a lot of parallels. I think there’s something similar at the core of both shows that has drawn me to them, some fundamental aspects that they share, and I thought I’d share them in case anyone is interested, in this essay I will—

Sections: 

Relationship Dynamics

Character Similarities

How the Story’s Told

Main Themes

1) Relationship Dynamics 

The main couples are the beating heart of each show, and they actually have a lot of similarities in the ways they love each other. 

In both shows, the main couple defies the world’s expectations. Both couples share a similar niche group—elite professional figure skaters in YOI, celestial beings in GO. Within these groups, the main two characters are adversaries, in the case of GO, and competitors (separated by the non-traversable boundary of their difference in skill level, in Yuuri’s mind) in the case of YOI. The relationships they develop with one another are shocking or even taboo to the people in these groups, and even perhaps to the characters themselves in the beginning. But they are drawn together by something important they share, and they just kind of say “screw the world, I love you, you’re mine”. 

In both shows, part of the reason they fall in love with each other is that they understand one another on a level that no one else could. 

Aziraphale and Crowley are the only celestial beings that love the Earth and humankind the way they do, and over the years they come to enjoy it together, drawn together by this shared appreciation. They also have a lot in common in regards to their situations regarding Heaven/Hell. They each know what it is like to take orders from and report to a Head Office where they don’t feel particularly welcome, understood, or appreciated; to live in the earthly plane in their human bodies for thousands of years; to have no one really understand them; to question the way things are.

Viktor and Yuuri are both VERY dedicated to the ice and have let a lot of their life (and love) pass them by because of it. They had sacrificed a lot and understand the mental toll it can take, for different reasons. They know what it’s like to struggle to accept love, to put on a brave face, and to compete anyway. They understand that drive for perfection that gets them up at 5am six days a week. Yuuri always had a secret drive to beat Viktor and to be the best, though he would never admit it out loud and assumed everyone else would laugh at him if he admitted it—but Viktor immediately was on board with this, and basically said, “Yes, you have what it takes if you gain confidence, let’s get you there”. Viktor, on the other hand, wanted to retire because he was burnt out and nothing surprised or inspired him anymore, but he didn’t think he could. He knew the world would think, “What the hell, you’re at the top of the world, what would you even do if you retired?”—but there was Yuuri saying, “Be my coach!” and not telling Viktor he’s insane for not wanting to skate. He validates him, only pushing him back toward the ice because he sees Viktor longing for it and feels guilty (but not because “You’re the five-time world champion you HAVE to”). They understand and accept one another where the rest of the world would not (or at least it’s perceived that they would not).

They meet each other where they are. This is straight up a line from YOI obviously, but it applies so well to Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship as well. This isn’t all that different from the last point about understanding one another, but here it’s important that they always try to let this understanding inform their behavior towards the other person. 

Viktor, as Yuuri’s coach, attempts adjust to his approach to meet Yuuri’s needs. He sees the hang-ups Yuuri has and helps him resolve them (being convinced he can’t do “Eros”, thinking he’s a failure and lacking confidence, etc) instead of just blindly pushing him forward. Yuuri, who previously isn’t shown to be a very touchy person while sober (he doesn’t even hug his mom when he returns home after five years), welcomes and reciprocates Viktor’s touch (which seems to be his love-language, so to speak). Yuuri doesn’t belittle Viktor for his insecurities (like the whole hair thinning issue), just apologizes when he accidentally offends him and only points out the issues again in a sweet gesture (ep7) that means “I see your shortcomings and I still accept you”. They don’t make each other conform to their expectations. They definitely have misfires in communication (aka the “let’s end this” and the “I’ll step down as your coach” scenes) but it’s because they’re trying too hard to meet each other where they are while their understanding of one another is still developing.

Crowley is maybe the definition of meeting Aziraphale where he is— he understands Aziraphale, knows what makes him tick, know he relies on philosophical logic to justify his actions. Whenever he proposes something (like stopping Armageddon or their Arrangement) he works through it logically and doesn’t belittle Aziraphale for his hesitance—he just reframes the suggestion. He doesn’t belittle Aziraphale for things like being a bit neurotic about the paintball stain, or his love of his book collection; when he breaks the news to Aziraphale about the fire (twice), he is so delicate and looks so sad for him. And Aziraphale, despite the whole “You go too fast for me” thing, still meets Crowley where he is, even if he plays dumb sometimes (after all, he does get on board the plot to raise and later kill the antichrist, and the decision to give Crowley holy water). He never ever uses Crowley being a demon as a way to claim he is somehow morally inferior or unforgivable in order to win an argument; he values Crowley for who he is (damned or not). He pushes Crowley by calling him “nice” only because they both know it’s true, and Crowley needs to own up to that in the same way Aziraphale needs to learn to stand up to Heaven. They do this lovely little dance around each other as their relationship develops, respecting one another, getting to know one another and the ways they fit together and it is beautiful.

They just... are so in love with each other in such a healthy way. The way they look at each other with stars in their eyes (there are so many scenes in both shows, but just compare the kiss scene in YOI episode 7 to the 1941 Blitz scene as they stand in the rubble of the church in GO ep3—the looks in their eyes!!). It’s Mutual Pining Up The Wazoo and there is just so much tenderness in the way they love each other. They also each value the things the other person loves (Viktor values and Hasetsu/the Katsukis/Katsudon, Yuuri values Makkachin and Viktor’s skating, Aziraphale and Crowley value each other’s earthly possessions and vices (the Bentley, the book collection, the paintball’d jacket, delicious food). And finally they both take great joy in each other’s happiness and success. 

2) Character Similarities

All of these characters have a ton of depth. They’re complex and flawed, some of them in similar ways.

Yuuri and Aziraphale are anxious kings of cognitive dissonance; they both hold a lot of contradicting things as true and have to find a way to resolve them in order to develop as characters and in their relationships.

In Yuuri’s case, the illogical nature of his anxiety is key. He knows he is objectively a great skater, he’s among the top ten male singles skaters in the world and he qualified for a competition that only takes the top six, but he also feels like an imposter, a “dime-a-dozen” competitor, and he constantly downplays his success and his skill level. Also, in the parking garage scene, he is terrified that Victor secretly wants to step down as his coach, yet he admits a second later that he knows that it’s not true (which I’ve seen people who experience anxiety say is common). Yuuri feels weak and yet he knows he’s strong. He is anxious at the prospect of failure and feels keenly the sacrifices others have had to make for him, and feels like he has a lot to lose even while he doesn’t think his career has been successful. 

Aziraphale is also very good at living with contradiction. For 6000 years, he has been holding on very tightly to the faith that God and Her Plan are Just, and all doubts about this can be chocked up to Ineffability. And yet at the same time, he knows Crowley, a demon cast out from Heaven by God Herself, is fundamentally good. After being friends with Crowley so long, he knows that casting him out was cruel. He knows that wiping out an entire population in the Flood was cruel; knows that Heaven and its angels, and even God, can be just as horrible as demons. Aziraphale has known this from the very Beginning, of course: he gave away his flaming sword, a weapon of righteousness bestowed by God Herself, to the beings God has just cast out for sinning. He loves God, wants to follow Her and believe that She is a being of goodness and love, but he also clearly sees Her destruction and hypocrisy and he’s perfectly willing to act against Her even as he claims She has his allegiance. He has immense sympathy for humans, something he’s not necessarily supposed to feel, but he thinks it’s the right thing to do so he does it. He is just holding onto hope that the right thing to do (the compassionate, empathetic, kind thing to do) is what is going to prevail in the Ineffable Plan. He’s very anxious that his own actions are or aren’t in line with the “good” and he agonizes over that. He feels that he has a lot to lose.

So, it’s only once Yuuri and Aziraphale resolve these mental hangups, these contradictions, that they are able to grow as people and in their relationships. Yuuri gains confidence and starts to undervalue himself less and see himself as worthy of Viktor’s time, and Aziraphale finally rejects Heaven’s demands and stands for what he knows, without a doubt, is good. 

Yuuri and Aziraphale are the epitome of the “looks like a cinnamon roll but is actually a sin-namon role” trope. At first glance, they seem like adorable softies to be protected at all costs, but in reality they are as tough as nails and really don’t need any protection at all.

Yuuri is a tie-grabbing, Eros-laden menace. He is fiercely competitive, the take-no-prisoners type when it comes to his own skating. This is a man who left his family, friends, and beloved dog behind at eighteen to live in a foreign country speaking a foreign language and working his ass off for five years without even letting himself go home. This is a man who skates competitively (a very mental sport) in front of hundreds of thousands of people even with crippling anxiety. He’s a sweetheart but he is tough. 

Aziraphale, according to a reliable source, is “just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing”. He will stand up to God for the things he loves, will gleefully stick it to some Nazis and allow them to be killed in a bomb blast, will steal the holiest holy water out from under Heaven’s nose, will perform demonic acts as part of the Arrangement for the sake of convenience, will possess a woman, will maybe actually almost kill a child, will splash holy water around at some terrified Demons and demand a rubber duck during his would-be execution. Aziraphale is an Angel, but he’s no angel, so to speak.

And now for Viktor and Crowley: they both appear very confident and put together, but are actually very soft and insecure on the inside. They are the characters you start out thinking, “Wow this guy is so confident and he’s got so much swagger,” but it’s revealed that they are actually very soft, unsure of themselves, and (probably) have something in their past that hurt them. 

We don’t know much about Viktor’s past, and as much as I want him to have loving parents, it is very possible based off of s1 that that is not the case. The way he hides himself behind a mask and tries to conform himself to what he thinks other people want could come from a lifetime in the spotlight, or from neglectful parents as well. His behavior speaks of abandonment issues to me, especially the way he tries to handle Yuuri’s breakdown in the parking garage. No matter his past, he’s got some issues behind that confident smile he presents to the world. He’s lonely, afraid of the future, and not quite sure who he is.

Crowley is... probably self-explanatory in this regard. He presents this front of a definitely-not-nice-confident-demon, but in reality he’s *shudder* nice. He refuses to do anything evil (like kill children, or honestly anything more than mildly frustrating people), and he has serious abandonment issues of the divine-parental sort that he takes out on potted plants. 

3) How the Story’s Told

In the context of the series as a whole, both love stories unfold in similar ways that encourage fan engagement.

Despite having two fairly clear main characters, both shows are dominated (in terms of screen-time) by assorted other characters and storylines. In YOI this starts on the back half of the show once the competitions begin and we are introduced to a huge ensemble of other skaters and their programs; in GO, this happens pretty much from the beginning with all of the various side characters and plots that lead up to the Apocalypse. This leaves somewhat limited screen-time for relationship development in both shows (which total around 4-5 hours each).

Because of this, there is a lot that happens off screen in both shows. In YOI, we have the famed Summer of Mutual Pining of which we only get a couple of glimpses; in GO, we have Six-Thousand Years of Mutual Pining that we only see bits and pieces of as well. When we catch back up with the characters, a lot has undoubtedly happened—they get much more comfortable with one another, and in YOI ep7 Viktor says “Should I just kiss you or something?” almost as if they’ve done that before; in GO ep3 in the Globe Theater scene, Crowley references their Arrangement as if they’ve already started helping each other out long before then. The audience is left out of a lot (big examples being Viktor’s POV/the banquet reveal in YOI, and the Body Swap reveal in GO) and left guessing on the infinite possibilities for those moments we didn’t get to see.

And so in both stories, you get a handful of very important relationship scenes spread throughout the show intermixed with other characters and plot. These moments are so rich in subtext and other between-the-lines meaning. How many metas have you seen analyzing every word of the engagement scene in ep10 of YOI, or the parking garage scene in ep7? How many analyzing the “you go too fast for me, Crowley” scene in ep3 or the bandstand “we can go off together” scene in GO? These moments are open to so much viewer-engagement, to analysis and reinterpretation and re-contextualization. These scenes can be read so many different ways but that’s how real life works, isn’t it? We don’t always just say exactly what we mean. Conversations are loaded with subtext and shared experience and preconceptions and the dialogue isn’t always easy to understand, and that’s wonderful.

These important scenes can sometimes be hard to connect to each other just by virtue of how spread out and between-the-lines then tend to be. But it’s not because they are poorly written or opaque— it’s because there is a lot happening off screen and in their heads that you need to figure out and connect. With the way the shows are structured, with immensely meaningful moments peppered throughout with a lot of stuff in between, there’s a lot to unpack. But this is also part of what makes both shows so engaging—by nature they welcome metas, headcanons, fanfiction, and other fanworks to fill in the gaps. I can’t tell you how many fill-in-the-gaps fics I’ve read for YOI that connect the exact same moments in canon, but each is so unique. I’m sure the same can be said for GO.

4) Main Themes

The most obvious overall similarity between these shows is that they both center around love stories between two (mostly-)male(-presenting) beings in genres where this is rare. But to call this a superficial comparison misses some important, deeper similarities.

Both exist in a narrative without homophobia and their love is so normalized. The love stories (between two men in YOI, and between two genderless celestial beings played by male actors) are never reduced to or defined by their sexualities or genders. Yuri on Ice is a love story between two men that is just straight up set in a world without homophobia. In GO, there are bits where outsiders allude to Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship being romantic (Uriel calling Crowley Aziraphale’s “boyfriend”, and the man on the street after their fight saying “You’re better off without him”), but unlike a lot of other shows/movies this isn’t played for laughs—if there is a joke, it rests on the strangeness of applying such banal human terms to their six-thousand years of illicit celestial-being-companionship. Their relationships are treated so respectfully and beautifully and it’s so refreshing.

At the same time, the narratives are still very tied into LGBT+ experiences. People who can speak to this much better than I can have already analyzed this in detail; I’ve seen so many metas about how GO can easily be read as a queer allegory of accepting yourself and letting yourself love who you love, despite what your family (aka Heaven) might think. Yuri on Ice hits a lot of the same points. They are both stories about learning to give love and accept love, unapologetically.

Love itself is also a central theme of both stories, and not just romantic love between the leads. It’s also about Crowley and Aziraphale’s enduring companionship, their love for the Earth/humanity, and their love of God (in a complicated way). It’s about Adam loving the world, his friends, his family, and his dog. It’s about and Newt and Anathema, and Shadwell and Madame Tracy. Yuri on Ice is about Victor and Yuuri, but it’s also about the Katsuki family and friends’ love and support. It’s about loving and taking pride in your craft. It’s about Yuri’s agape with his grandfather and his relationship with Viktor and Yuuri, the skaters he looks up to. And yes, it’s about Michele and Sara’s and Georgi and Anya’s love, too. These shows are not shallow romances. Their scope is huge.

They are fundamentally happy and optimistic stories, despite dealing with very real and very serious problems. Good Omens is about the freaking apocalypse and Yuri on Ice deals with mental health issues. They could have been very gritty and dark and tragic, but they aren’t—they’re the polar opposite and are, imo, all the more impactful for it. 

And at the heart of both shows is a common theme: overcoming who you think you have to be by choosing the life you want to lead and the love you want to surround yourself with. They both end with the main couple sharing a more intimate moment than ever and looking forward to a future of endless possibility that they have worked hard to shape... And then moving forward together.

tl;dr - There might be a reason so many of us have found ourselves drawn over and over again to both of these stories...

[cosmospoons]

House MD series 1

30 second episode recaps from someone whos just watched em for the first time and has bad recall

ep1: house saves a patient who was a kindergarten teacher played by theresa lisbon actress and made his fellows housebreak for fun, told foreman he hired him for his criminal record and told Cameron he hired her for her looks

ep2: house cures a student athlete who recently got engaged without telling his parents and played lacrosse and also won a bet on the paternity of the kid by stealing the parents DNA surprise surprise he was adopted

ep3: house cures a dude who didnt have two separate things but one thing but he worked it out eventually and blames pharmaceutical companies and people who care too much

ep4: house saves some babies but actually not all of them and cuddy yelled at him when he literally flipped a coin to decide which baby got which treatment when trying to eliminate the one that wouldnt work (spoilers neither did)

ep5: House didn't screw up like everyone said he did actually and he is the one who realised the nun had a v old birth control implant that she was allergic too even after cuddy took him off the case to stop him killing the patient

ep6: it was houses bday and cameron kept telling him about it, the schizophrenic patients son had so much shit together it was impressive, house worked out it was cancer and then realised she wasnt schizophrenic and saved the day twice

ep7: turns out cameron has a tragic backstory, wilson may or may not b dating some1 in the hospital even tho hes married n either way house is gunna fIND oUT and grilled him after asking him to come stare at a patients breasts with him,, the patient had a bad case of sleepy night night and would have preferred death to admitting she slept with her husbands friend but they worked it out anyway and the husband left her

ep8: the mother of all PTA mums is really tryna control whether or not house can save lives and also he should probably stop making people break into places just saying, also there's a horny old lady who's in love with house and Wilson reads her love poetry loudly in the lobby it was hilarious

ep 9: house proves the other doctor wrong even tho no one believes him and he has a restraining order filed against him that dont let him near the patient,, not only does he fix the pneumonia but also the paralysis and gets the patients legs back

Ep10: I FIGURED IT OUT BEFORE THEY DID HAH the patient was a homeless woman who foreman who didn't care about and then cared too much about, Wilson has a secret brother who's been missing for years and they couldn't save the patient, it was a tragic episode

Ep11: cuddy bets house he won't last a week without painkillers ((except actually it was Wilson who's a sneaky bitch (i love him))) and house realises hes an addict but it's nOT A PROBLEM JAMES and also he makes people dig up a cat to solve the case of amanda seyfrieds boyfriend and it's not lupus ffs

Ep12: wow that man's arm really snapped and he's real brittle. He's also famous and a recovering addict. Wilson is a lying liar who didn't go to the monster truck rally

Ep13: Juni from spy kids got cursed by an ouigi board, chases dad is an areshole who has cancer that he's not telling chase about, house was gunna but realised he does actually care about things and junis dad was a Liar™

Ep14: house lied about a patient's psych condition to get her a heart, Wilson suspects and probably knows this, cuddy suspects also chase found out and volger is a dick

Ep15: volger is a fucking dick honestly I'll kill him but at least the gay gangsters brother bought house a shiny new car, sidenote house in a labcoat is wierd

Ep16: I've said it before n I'll say it again volger is a PENIS he's tryna make house fire a fellow, what a bastard. Also there was a lonely lonely child who was sick but dw house cured her n they didn't cut off her breasts

Ep17: Volger blackmails house into doing a speech and Regrets It, Chase is a snitch and the black politician whos running for president didn't have aids

Ep18: Wilson tried to save houses job from primo dick man vulgar so vulgar tried to kick him off the board and he got FIRED essentially and I'm SO MAD JC FUCK U VULVA also the patient has cancer n didn't want chemo to save her foetus n everyone misses Cameron who quit at the end of the last ep but at the end it was all ok cus cuddy stood up to volvo and Wilson came back and they all drank together so

Ep19: The 12 yr old was pregnant, there mUSt be a reason Wilson has to sit in on house interviews, there was an epidemic in the hospital which made it crowded n busy and Cameron told house she'd only come back to work if he took her on a date

Ep20: sulus here and he likes to be choked, chase tried his hand at being a dominatrix and failed, everyone's teasing house about the date with cameron, house blackmailed the parents, the date was super awkward, I really love Wilson just a lot tbh he's so protective of house

Ep21: Stacy is here in the now but more importantly house is giving a lecture and we're getting Backstory and some fantastic interactions this episode is so good and also tragic, how could stacy do that to him what a bitch ass move jc it's HIS LIFE, HIS LEG damn you

Ep22: well it opened with house drugging Stacy's husband and honestly that was a bit of a theme he just kept drugging him against his will but he did save him in the end so oh well, sidenote stacy needs to back off and leave house alone this is bad for him

Season 2

[mysticdragon3md3]

Reactions to Jujutsu Kaisen ep3-5; (half of ep6).

. . .

7:35 PM 12/16/2020 Jujutsu Kaisen ep3

So...It's a it's a habit of Gojou-sensei to do people favors without them asking?  Like when he put Itadori's dorm room next to Fushiguro, because Gojou thought Fushiguro could use the "lively" company?  ^o^  ok.  But I have a feeling the hood on Itadori's uniform is going to turn out to be more to do with Sukuna, and we're just going to *think* it was because Itadori was always wearing hooded tops when Gojou met him.  lol  

I've been wary about getting into Jujutsu Kaisen ever since I saw a clip of Nobara Kugisaki, where she was just being really abrasive and representing that hackneyed stereotype of "girl of the group spoils everyone's fun and is just angry at everyone for no reason all the time".  I was not looking forward to her character.  But I finally managed to start watching this series anyway, and I loved it.  But now I'm at ep3, she's showing up, and I am not lookng forward to whatever stereotypes that Shonen Manga tends to slot girls into.  Shonen Manga, I love you, but 80% of the time you suck when it comes to women.  ~_~;  Either the girl is only cool if she's sexualized cheeesecake, or an ingenue (which I LOVE, but I do want more variety), or the abrasive, tsundere spoil-sport, which I am just _done_ with.  So please please PLEASE, Nobara, PLEASE don't be an abrasive annoying character!  ;o;!

And now she's asking some random guy to make her a model. (Why do I get the feeling her use of "watashi" is what got to the guy?) This is not a good start.  Please don't turn out to be some borderline himedere, all full of herself, and completely focused on her looks, because the only characteristic that some male manga-ka know to give to female characters is "obsessed with her appearance".  ;o;!?

"Be happy boys.  I'm the one woman in your group."  What the hell is that supposed to mean??  Is the manga-ka saying girls are trouble, so minimum number of them is better?  Or that "all guys are horny heteros who're desperate to be near any girls"???  Because either option sounds really bad. Unforunately, it's the type of thing I've gotten used to seeing in anime/manga.  ~___~;  (Just once, I'd love for some girl to be full of herself because she assumes the guys in her group are desperate heteros, but then it turns out they're all gay.  Knock those himedere's down a peg!)  But this is one of the newer Shonen Jump series I've seen in a long time.  Hopefully things have changed since years ago, when harem anime and ecchi Shonen series used to be the majority of series out there.  If Boku no Hero Academia is any indication, I've heard gender representation has been getting better.  And of course, the popularity precedent that Bleach's Rukia Kuchiki set has been great to see emulated (when a series doesn't misinterpret Rukia's appeal into "tusndere" anyway).  

Itadori is from Sendai!?  I should have paid attention!  I love Sendai because I'm a Date Masamune fan, but I'm wondering...This series and Haikyuu...  Is Sendai becoming a popular setting for manga?  I wonder if it's to boost interest in their tourism to help recover from the 2011 disasters.  I always thought that would be nice of the manga/anime industries.  ;u;  

Oh no...Itadori is a childish dork, buying weird souvenirs and eating up all the snacks he can...  Ya gotta stop being this cute, kiddo!  ;w;!!!  You already remind me of Ryuji Sakamoto, you don't have to score for the extra points with even more similarities to him!  ;w;  Gawd, Ryuji has made me weak for these adorkable boyish types...!  xWx!  

Ok.  Nobara is redeemed.  She's just as excited and adorkable as Itadori at the prospect of Gojou-sensei taking them sight-seeing.  ^o^  This is pretty hilarious actually.  LOL  Let me mention again that this series' humor is pretty great!  ^o^  

ROPPONGI?!?!?  Sensei!  Don't take a bunch of minors to Roppongi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ...Oh, it's a cursed, abandoned building.  Oh thank globs.  

8:14 PM 12/16/2020 Well, Crunchyroll kept crashing after I paused the episode to write reactions.  But let's try again.  

8:21 PM 12/16/2020 Aaaaaaand Crunchyroll crashed AGAIN.  It really doesn't want me to finish this episode, huh?  Fine.  I'll watch something else.  I got my Yuji fix anyway.  (Even though I wanted to watch more.)  ~.~!

2:25 AM 12/17/2020 I tried to watch ep3 again.  After 20min in, Crunchyroll crashed again.  I got so fed up, I went to finish the episode on some YouTube bootleg. But I felt bad about it and I couldn't really find the full ep at regular speed, so I guess I'll just try Crunchyroll another time.  I should really just connect my laptop to my Tv and watch from there.  This Amazon Firestick crashes too much whenever I watch anything besides YouTube (and Netflix).  Even Disney+ stalls on it sometimes.  

But I will say that the parts of the episode I managed to watch more of so far, included that clip of Nobara from Crunchyroll's Twitter, that gave me the bad impression of her.  Listen, I'm as tired of the "passive good girl" female character, as the next woman.  But I also dislik the abrasive tsundere, angry for no reason, looking down on everything everyone does as instantly inferior, and just needlessly over-reacting with anger.  I mean, the "over-emotional woman" stereotype is just as bad as the "passive, martyr, support" girl stereotype.  And is it wise to immediately have this new character just hate and physically beat up the protag that we're already invested in?  At least, I like him best out of everyone.  And then this girl comes in, calling his need to use a weapon lame, physically beating him for asking reasonable questions, and just being an asshole.  Not scoring any points here.  I know stories are supposed to run on conflict and each time a new character is introduced, they're supposed to clash with the previously established characters or protagonist, but if all the clashing gets annoying, I've got better things to do. The sad thing is that I see her short straight hair, and I can't help but think this is another case of Shonen manga trying to emulate Rukia Kuchiki's popularity.  After Bleach, suddenly these types of no-nonsense, competent warrior, without the cheesecake, girls were popping up all over the place: Buso Renkin, Otomen, Attack on Titan, etc.  I just really wish people would have taken the right lessons from Bleach's Rukia Kuchiki, that even the Bleach anime got wrong in some filler episodes:  She's not angry for no reason!  She's not unnecessarily angry/violent!  The anime fillers only crossed that line because tsundere were popular at the time!  But it makes for an abrasive, unlikable character, female or not!  If some bishie came in, acting that way to a protagonist I was already attached to, I'd still think of him as an asshole and consider dropping the series for it.  And I've dropped HeroAca---one of the best series in years---for that reason already!  Don't think you're immune, Jujutsu Kaisen!  Just because Yuji is a freaking delight, I will drop you if Nobara becomes a problem!  

. . .

5:06 PM 12/17/2020 Tried again to watch Jujutsu Kaisen ep3 around 5pm.  5min into it, Crunchyroll crashed again.  Again at the commercial break.  What is it with the commercial breaks crashing everything?  It's happened on other websites with commercial too.  o.o?  Well, connected my laptop to my Tv.  I'll let my laptop handle the processing instead of my Amazon Firestick.  

5:07 PM 12/17/2020 Well, here we go again.  This must be at least the 5th time I'm watching this ep.  With luck, this time, I'll be able to watch the last 1/3 of the episode.

JUJUTSU KAISEN Episode 3 – Girl of Steel

5:14 PM 12/17/2020 Now it's either buffering for a long time, or frozen.  ~.~;  The universe really doesn't want me to watch Jujutsu Kaisen, huh?  Either that, or the universe really wants me to watch it thru bootleg sites/uploads, instead of thru Crunchyroll.  Damn it.  I hate doing that.  But I like this series, and Crunchyroll has been giving me problems for the past 2 days on just this ONE SAME EPISODE OVER AND OVER.  ~o~;;;;  Fine!  I'll go find some YouTube bootleg of this episode.  x_x;  YouTube never crashes on me.  

5:17 PM 12/17/2020 Ugh.  I hate watching on these tiny rectangles with giant random frames so the uploader can avoid copyright strikes.  Let me try Crunchyroll again.  

I had forgotten this.  I don't know why, but when another video streaming site had problems with buffering or being frozen, sometimes playing YouTube on another tab kind of "wakes it up".  

5:19 PM 12/17/2020 Spoke too soon.  Crunchyroll still isn't working.  Forget it.  I'll watch the tiny rectangle with giant distracting frames and muffled audio.  I just want to get through this episode finally!  It's been 2 days!  And the introduction of a character I've been wary of from spoiler clips, and now that I've actually been watching her introduction episode, I am NOT having a good time with her.  I want this over with.  

At least on YouTube I can skip through the parts of the episode I've already had to watch like 5 times already.  Adn it won't crash from searching.  

5:32 PM 12/17/2020 There!  Finally FINALLY finishedd episode 3!!!!!  

Shonen genre, I love you, but why do the female characters always have to be so annoying!?!  It's not an 1990's action movie!  They're just angry all the time and I feel like I'm spending time with an annoying asshole, when I watch series that forces me to spend time with characters unreasonably angry about anything and everything! And that's not even mentioning the horrible implication that females are all "moody and over-emotional". It's like, they know to set up protagonists as likable by demonstrating their compassion and warmth, but when it comes to the female characters, if she's not an ingenue passive hyper-fem support class, then she's an abrasive tsundere, because apparently it's still the early 2000s and all the horny fanboys want to get stepped on and yelled at.  -.-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;  Fucking A you guys...There are better partners, better people to spend time with, than that.  x_x;;;;;;;;;;;;;  

On the good side, if Nobara turns out to be a deal breaker for me on this series, then I won't have to feel bad anymore for missing out on Nendoroid Yuuji's preorder.  

. . .

1:23 AM 12/18/2020 Jujutsu Kaisen ep4

I"m gonna risk Crucnhyroll crashing (on my Firestick) AGAIN, because I really just want to watch more of this series.  

I love how Yuuji continues to be so enthusiastic about everything.  I know it's supposed to be "uncool" or humorously quirky while the POV "fish out of water" character learns about whatever "new world" they've gotten into, but it's endearing as hell.  When a character doesn't care about looking stupid, in favor of being unbelievably positive, I love it.  

Innate Domain.  I saw a clips of this earlier, and it reminded me so much of a Witch's Labyrinth, that I watched some Madoka Magica clips.  

I love when Nobara and Yuuji are in sync in acting weird.  

Does Fushiguro not know how to take compliments?  Was he never given any whiel growing up?

I know having a Shonen protagonist over-react to any little lack of empahy is a cheap trick of the genre by now...but I still love it.  ;u;  I know what you're trying to do, and damnit, it's working.  lol  

Gawd the animation in this series is so good.

I guess this is where we learn that Sukuna can regenerate his host.  

It's really unusual for a Shonen protagonist to despair this long in a scene.  I wonder what it's for.  

So using Cursed Magic is just focusing all your negative energy/emotions?  

Wow.  I guess this Curse can't think enough to know Sukuna's plan would be a good deal.  Or is it that Sukuna scares this Curse out of thinking clearly? I mean, they could think enough to play with their food.  

So it's true.  An OP character gets their appearnace earned after the protag/main cast gets put thru hell.  

"But healing with cursed energy isn't that hard for cursed spirits, unlike for humans.  Nither you nor this brat really understand what curses truly are."  I was going to speculate that a Curse is a "wish to destroy", but in terms of regeneration, it only makes sense for negative energy/emotions to rebuild a creature made of negative energy/emotions, like a Curse.  But does it make sense for humans?  I guess maybe considering humans can contain negative emotions/energies...  Well, I'm sure this series will have an interesting answer for their own world's logic.  

Ever since it was mentioned that Sukuna used to be human, and now he's talking about showing what "real sorcery" is with his "Domain Expansion" spell...  I wonder how a human sorcerer turned into a Curse.  Is this series going to eventually talk about humans turning into Curses?  I love when demon hunter series go into that territory.  

Oh.  This Curse had one of Sukuna's fingers?

Aw, it's over?  I think I kinda love this show.   But this ending theme is fun.  Tho I have to wonder how this concept fits into this series' tone.

1:53 AM 12/18/2020 Unforunatly, I can't watch more.  I should get ready for bed.

And hey!  Crunchyroll went thru a whole episoe without crashing!  ^o^!  

. . .

10:09 PM 12/18/2020 Jujutsu Kaisen ep5

Is this going to happen a lto to Yuji's uniforms?  lol

He mentioned pacts.  Is a pact going to have to happen now to get Sukuna under control again? I mean, Fushiguro uses Shikigami, so he must know about pacts.  Is that what this next fight scene is going to be about?  

Healing is a "Reversed Curse"?

The more Sukuna talks in fights, the more he souns like a trained sorcerer.  

What?  HE stopped.  

Nothing wrong with Emotional reasons to save someone.  

Fushiguro is really kind when he thinks no one will hear him about it.  ;u;  I love when a cast is full of really compassionate characters. Add another one to the count for this series.  

Let him talk!  Even if you don't understand!

Shikigami?  

Beurocracy hierarchy bs at Jujutsu Tech, huh?  Ugh.  When the higher ups can't be trusted, it's trouble.  

Zenin doesn't like beineg called by her last name?  Odd.  

Suspended?!?!????

I thought the rule in Shonen genree was to lay off "tournament arcs"!???

"True, pure beings"?  ~.~;;;;;;  Well, that sounds like trouble.  The world, especially people are blends of dichotomy and gray, co-existing.  People who deny that end up in trouble.  Always chasing some false misunerstanding.  

And well, damn  Another episode ending too soon.  Well, if every episode feels too short, then I must really like this series.  ;u;  I'm so glad.  Because the last series I got thru was a slog at times, but I pushed thru it because it was a popular series and I at least liked the deuteragonists.  I'm really happy with Jujutsu Kaisen so far.  

Even all my earlier bitching about Nobara, that scene of her and Fushiguro at the shrine or temple(?) was better.  I liked that they were in sync in their resolve to get stronger, and that their overall dispositions while in mourning didn't clash into some kind of annoying drama.  

Panda should try a dry shampoo.  Sometimes Fabreeze just ends up mixing with old smells and making fabric smell like damp old towels.  

. . .

10:42 PM 12/18/2020 Jujutsu Kaisen ep6

I should stop.  It's Figure Friday, I still need to do a photoshoot, I didn't draw yet today, and it'll be midnight soon.  x_x;  I'd love to watch more of this series instead tho.  ;o;  

I think it's saying a lot for this series that it's completely distracted me from DMCL even though I made it my static desktop.  lol  

. . .

11:06 PM 12/19/2020 Jujutsu Kaisen ep6

Did the opening sequence add a lot more cast members.

Did I mention I love the humor in this?  Even during a fight it just flows perfectly.  lol  And that cartoony sound effect when Sukuna kicked Yuuji down---LOL  Endearing as hell.

Forget the promise?  What?  Won't it not work then?  

Well, that explains why Yuuji suddenlly accepted the geas.  lol  He just wanted to hit Sukuna again.  lol

I'm gonna guess some kind of guilt?

It's interesting to hear Gojou talking about thsi indirect, in-system way of fighting the stagnant top level of thier jujutsu sorcerer organization.  I've had FE3H on the brain lately and yesterday I was listening to a D&D story time vid that made me think about the same thing.  You can't just assassinate the problem authority figures because the structure is still in place to maintain the same problem.  Plus, you'll be easily framed as a "villain", then no one will listen to your criticisms about the former authority figures/structure.  After loving Code Geass and Lelouch back in the day, it's so funny how I'm much more inclined to support these strategies of working within a bad system to reform it from within, which was Suzaku's strategy, not Lelouch's.  But I guess even back when I was watching Code Geass, I knew that I would only go with Lelouch strategy in such a bombastic, hyper stylized world; it wasn't realistic, even if some if it had merits that could be more gently applied to the real world.  What was really strange about this scene in Jujutsu Kaisen was that such radical ideas about overturning and being aware of the current power structure's corruption, was given such little weight in the scene.  Like they wanted us to forget about this so that when it comes back later in the overall plot, we can be shocked, but still feel that bringing up these issues fit.  

Love Yuuji and Gojo's casual relationship. ^o^  They act more like friends than mentor/mentee.

I forgot how gorey this series can be until everyone lit on fire.  ^^;

11:22 PM 12/19/2020 Aaaaaand Crunchyroll crashed at the commercial again.  Just at well.  It's really difficult to eat, watch, and jot down my reactions at the same time.  ~_~;  A shame.  I really wanted to watch more of this series.  

[angelthefirst1]

Down the Rabbit hole Level 1

You want to know what’s happening and what’s going on? Beth is alive but this story goes so much deeper than that.

Well ok… if you want to know I will tell you everything… but I warn you this is going to unplug you from the world you thought you knew.

I have been analysing this show for the last few years , so much weirdness, vagueness and not just in regards to Beth’s “Death” but I get it now, this is the show that finally made it all click for me.

The meaning and explanation behind everything we see on screen is all blatantly right in our faces, deliberately so. And let me tell you, the title of this crazy show is the most fitting title of all. “We are the walking dead” is scarily accurate too.

I’m putting the rest under a read more because i want to warn all my followers that this is going to melt your brains and change your life, hopefully for good and with an unimaginable, beautiful coda of your own.

I am literally offering you the red pill or the blue pill. "You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes." 

Red Pill, Rabbit hole level one. The show in itself

Please note I have figured all this out from simply watching the show (way to much I admit) and figuring out the pattern.

What is the Pattern this show is using? It looks like this:

  This is a three part song, code, pattern if you will, that is played on repeat over and over and over and over and well you get the idea it just keeps going, the pattern circles around the middle three empty circles differing amounts of times before some kind of coda will happen. The coda’s represent a break in the ever repeating Patten that will leave you with two potential outcomes, the Coda on the left is a representation of final lasting death (Red) the one on the right final lasting life (Yellow). 

In this show they play this pattern to different degrees.

Huge scale: Through the entire 7 seasons we have already witnessed.

Large scale: Over three seasons with coda’s at each end.

Medium scale: Every season this pattern repeats.

Small: Every half season

Extra small: Every episode

Mini: Every scene

Miniscule: Scenes with in scenes.

Every character is also continuously cycling through this pattern. So much so that all characters and locations all blend into each other because they have all been doing this over and over just in slightly different settings.

Once you start seeing the pattern it can’t be unseen. It is everywhere, to the obvious like the walkers themselves with their cycle of life, death, and burial (of old self) then resurrection as a walker and then once they are put down that’s their final death coda.

I challenge you to go pick a few scenes and go analyse them. What to look for?

Well you need to understand that they have given wide and varying symbolism to each part of the pattern.

Life can = be represented by anything slightly good or happy from the smallest to largest thing.

Death can = be represented by anything slightly bad or sad from the smallest to largest thing.

Burial (Blue) can = be represented by anything related to being gone, lost, missing, imprisoned, trying to get home, stagnant, a time of waiting or learning developing, being separated from others from the smallest to largest thing.

Season 1 up till S2E01 (7 episodes in total, which is 2 repeats of the pattern with a coda at the end) is the basic story blueprint that is just repeated the rest of the series but with different characters and locations.

The thing is that up until now we have only had one life coda portrayed and that was the time before the outbreak and before Rick waking up to a cursed world, 7 seasons later we find ourselves due for a repeat of that first life coda and it will come in the form of Beth being not only alive but bringing the cure. 

The reason that in S1 the zombies moved much faster (ran at times) and even picked items up is because the further away from a life coda they get the more dead and decayed they become to the point that they now (in S7) move at snail’s pace and the group can even walk faster than them.

So let’s go through an over view starting from season 1 episode 1 to help you see the pattern and also because this is where it all began and what we have been watching for the past 7 years is the same story just told in different locations with characters becoming each other to fill different repeating rolls.

I will be incorporating other seasons and episodes in the analysis also just to help you see where this is all going.

Season 1 Episode 1

Even this episode has a Death coda at the start but it’s also predicting a life coda to come.

It starts with Rick driving down the road in his car (life cycle) he comes to a stop in the car (death cycle)

Added extra here: The sheriff’s car has a 1, 3 and 4 on it, these numbers relate to the sheriffs story. We have Rick’s story first and the one relates to him waking up Season 1E01 (life cycle) then finding his family S1E03 (Also a life cycle) note that the number 2 is not on the car and season 1E02 is the episode where Rick is separated from his family and looking for them (burial) So they skipped part of the pattern on the car the burial pattern, which is interesting because that is exactly what we have been missing from Beth’s (an actual burial) and her story of looking for her family which we think will play out the same as Ricks, When Beth wakes again (from her gunshot) her family are gone she is injured someone helps her (a loop of Morgan finding and helping Rick) and then she will find and be reunited with her family.

(Extra for the math nerds: Pi is the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter and it =3.14, so yes we are defiantly going in circles just like the pattern and even Bob says in S4 to Sasha "what do you want to do Sasha, keep going in circles back to the bus or try something else?" the something else represents a coda)

S1E02 is also when Merle gets left on the roof separated from Daryl so you can see the 2 for Rick, Merle and Beth and the pattern on the car 2 represents the being gone, missing, burial cycle. 

Ricks life death burial story all plays out in three episodes but with Beth it will be 3 seasons gap before we see her pattern continue. She will be in her own burial/missing loop and it will last for 3 episodes shy of 3 seasons (I will explain this a bit later on)

8:01 will loop back to a mixed interpretation of many different episodes namely:

S1E03 (the Sheriffs reunion with his family), = Beth’s reunion, her reunion will be what we see first when she is reintroduced because her pattern is playing backwards to Ricks and the last part of her pattern we saw was represented by the number 4 on the cop car, the number 4 in Ricks story is related to S1E04 When Rick leaves his family after a reunion that was just one episode before, to go back for Merle. (Beth “left” her family just after they found her at Grady that’s the last thing we saw) So going backwards the next thing we will see is a reunion (relating to the 3 on the car which was Ricks Reunion episode, then how she tracked her family and then how she survived the bullet (relating to the 1 on the car which was Ricks waking up episode) 

S2E01 (when the group are stuck on the HWY and Sofia first goes missing, both Sofia and Andrea will tell us what happens to Beth’s body after Grady as they are loops of Beth just as Beth is a loop of them)  the number one on the car = relates to how they lost Beth’s “body”

S1E04 When they go back for Merle but he is gone. =They will come back looking for Beth but she will be gone and they will think she is a walker.

Extra: That’s why Rick says 3 weeks since Atlanta in S5 he means 3 seasons since losing Beth it’s a prophecy. Just as his first 3 episodes are representations of the pattern. Every cycle of the pattern they add large and small clues that are actually going to predict the future story, so the more loops we have seen the more clues we have seen as to what is coming.

Back to the car, the 4 on the car also has a lot of meaning as S1E04 is the story of Daryl, Rick and Glenn going back to Atlanta for Merle (Grady story repeated for Beth) S2E04 is when Carl puts on the sheriff’s hat after being shot and surviving (Carl is obviously a sheriff too and all this applies to his story too but I’m not really focusing on him too much, more so Rick and Beth. Season 1 Carl also wears a t-shirt with a tiger foot print on it, keep this in mind for level 2 of the rabbit hole)

Season 4 is when Beth puts on the Sherriff’s hat and season S5E04 is when Beth wakes up in the hospital just like Rick in season 1 ep1. So you can see because the pattern keeps looping around over and over the main narrative of the story will repeat but time fames will be smaller or larger depending on the character and where they are in the loop, it’s almost alive it moves so much but the loops we have already seen will tell us what's coming. 

In regards to the numbers on the car reading them backwards is how we will see Beth’s story play out. Ricks went forward Beth’s goes backwards. So the 4 relating to Beth’s story is the one we have seen and that’s Grady and everything we saw go down, the next thing we are going to see in season 8 is her reunion with her family (number 3 on the car relating to when Rick had his reunion, ep3 for Beth after 3 seasons gap) its after that we are going to go back and they will show us how she survived (1)

But we continue with the first scene in S1E01:

Rick gets out of the car (Life) and starts looking for gas near some cars, he walks past burnt out cars (Death) and keeps walking to get to more cars (burial/waiting) we then hear a bird call (life) he then gets to a sign that says no gas at the number 1 and 2 gas pumps which are completely red (death)

He then sighs and stands still looking at the sign (burial/stagnant) but he suddenly hears a noise behind him (life) he looks under the car and sees a child’s legs walking wearing bunny slippers and she picks up a teddy.

 Also note the 8 on her leg (Boots in S7 was a loop of Beth, just with a different character in a different community. See the 8 on the leg of Zombie girl? It’s faint but guess what boots has on her shoe? That’s right an 8!

This little zombie girl also has little flowers on her dressing gown just like boots had a flower on her other shoe. So TD were not wrong boots is another representation or loop of Beth just in a different community.  

He gets up and calls out to her, we can see just the back of the girl and only that she has long blond hair, over Ricks shoulder as he calls to her we see the number 2 gas pump which is again completely red

She turns around and Rick see’s she is a zombie (death)

However the next scene is interesting to those who believe Beth is returning as over Ricks shoulder this time we see the number 4 pump and for the first time there is some yellow in the shot, it’s a yellow (life) gas can sitting on top of the number 4 pump.

This scene is indicating we will see 3 other (Main) representations of this blond zombie girl and also that there will be three main representations of the sheriff.

There are many smaller loops of the zombie girl and the Sherriff's too as they need to repeat the pattern many times over in seven seasons but the main ones are:

The number one representations will starts in season 1 (number 1 gas pump): Rick as the Sherriff and Amy as the Zombie Girl in S1 who, gets a reunion with her sister S1E03 (life) is bitten in S1E04 (Death) Amy takes a long time to turn (burial) she is bitten at dinner time one evening and doesn't turn until well into the next day (life again as a walker, but Andrea puts her down in S1E05 so her final destination is the Death Coda- lasting death)

The next representations will start in season 2 (number 2 gas pump): Carl as the Sherriff who gets shot in S2E01 (death) Carl is unconscious for most of e2 and e3 (burial) and then wakes and puts on the Sherriff's hat S1E04 (life) and Sofia as the zombie girl, who was known for carrying her doll (Teddy for Zombie girl)

She goes missing season 2E01(burial) is found by Rick (life) who even picks her up and carries her like Daryl did with Beth bridal style, Rick asks her to hide in a dark cave/ tunnel (death and burial) Rick leaves and kills the walkers that are chasing them but when he comes back Sofia is gone (life again represented by her leaving the tunnel) but she is now missing again (burial) and we won’t see Sofia’s final Death coda until season 2E07 where she comes out of the barn as a walker.

Team Defiance I will continued this in Down the rabbit hole level 1 part 2