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#I think I rambled a lot but hopefully there's something good there
vesperlionheart · 9 months
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Hello。◕‿◕。
I have had an idea in my head for a long time. But it is large, so I wanted to ask a few things.
How do you juggle all the characters? Do you write the setting first, and then create a backstory for each character? What is the most convenient way to prescribe all this? And how not to be afraid that no one needs my idea, and I'm wasting my time on unnecessary things? If my goal is to create my own fanfic and get feedback.
I like the idea that my story will end and people will still be writing reviews 5 years from now. How do you feel when you receive feedback? When did you decide it was time to write your first story and see it through?
large world building projects are so much fun, it always feels like snuggling into a comfort blanket or sweater you can really immerse yourself in, at least for me it does.
Juggling a lot of characters can be a struggle since I'm personally a world driven type of author as opposed to the character driven and plot driven types of authors you might run across. What I mean by that is for me the world usually appears first in my mind and I have to build it out before I know exactly who lives in it or what's happening. I think the most convenient way to prescribe all the steps you want to take starts with knowing who you are as a writer and what your personal style is cause we're all made a little different. I got to know myself better as a write after reading The Curiosities, a collection of short stories by three different authors who all are a different type or have a different approach to writing. (I loved their notes to each other reviewing their stories and its a great read.) Knowing what works for you is what's most vital, and a lot of trial and error shouldn't be feared in order to better understand yourself. You'll never waste time trying to grow and improve yourself, even if you don't achieve the fame or money in the end.
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For me, when I come up with a story idea, I am usually provoked by some other media I see and feel the urge to make something more suited to my tastes. I read about vampires or werewolves and wanna do my own spin on an urban high school for monsters, I get a fraction of information about some obscure mobile video game and want to run with it in a new direction that gives it lore and meaning beyond the pretty visuals. What do you enjoy reading or playing or watching? Chances are those are topics you might enjoy creating with. For me writing is like 'play' and I enjoy playing with some things more than others as my tastes change and mature with time. On the more technical side of things, in order to build a functioning story I try to make sure I have a problem in my story and I try to ensure my protagonists are characters with needs or desires that push them along through the narrative. These can change depending on the setting they're in.
When I first started writing I was like 12/13 and I just wanted to write for the fun of it and didn't know what I was doing when I posted my first fic online. I appreciated the validation of others who read my work and commented/reviewed, and I think later on that motivated me to switch up my style and try new things for the thrill of it. (No regrets, 10/10 would do again.) You asked about "how not to be afraid that no one needs my idea, and I'm wasting my time on unnecessary things?" Believe me when I say people need stories. I'm not sure about a lot of things in life but I know stories have existed as long as people have lived and there's a reason for that. We need stories as a species. Maybe you do create a story that gets 0 comments or only a few likes and clicks. It happens to most of us when we start out. We think we're making crap and never realize our fields need that fertilizer for a better harvest in the future. You'll make some bad poems and stories and mess up plays or scripts in your life and that's good as long as you don't let it stop you. Keep trying and figure out what works for you. Keep digging until you strike gold. Your brain and your soul deserve the nourishment creating gives them. Make art any way you want and don't look back.
It's fucking amazing to know someone loved what I wrote, even 5-10+ years later. It's humbling and haunting at the same time. I'll never stop being in awe of how great it is to know someone, somewhere in the world of endless possibilities, found some joy in my story. I'm forever in awe of how cool that is. But the older I get the more I realize this writing thing I do, this expression of creativity I gravitate towards, is a gift unto me for my own sake. I need to create stories. I want to live a little in these dream worlds of mine before the daylight burns it all way and makes me go back to work. Writing is a means of self preservation at this point, even though it's a lot of hard work I still mess up on. I find so much joy in the ideas I try to flesh out, so I hope you can discover for yourself the unique joy of creating too. Don't let fear hold you back. Write your story.
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"For particularly important things, it's always more reassuring to write them down like this." - Zhang Beihai
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[ID in alt text]
#my art#three body problem#3 body problem#zhang beihai#三体#章北海#i've been meaning to draw three body problem characters and actually post them on my blog for quite some time!#so if anybody wants me to draw any specific character from the series feel free to reply here or send an ask as a request!#beihai is my top favorite and he resonated with me more than i expected! i rather liked bits of consequentialist philosophical ideas in him#anyways incoming ramble/infodump in the tags about various subjects pertaining to him#all you need to know about me is that i often lurk in chinese language fandom spaces and you might see commonalities in designs#if you see fanartists draw him with the broken eyebrow and mole then that's due to the 我的三体 (my three-body) donghua adaptation!#admittedly i was introduced to the series through that adaptation years ago because it seemed rather absurd (minecraft haha) but oddly good#at least check out the third season (haven't seen the fourth one yet but that's ongoing actually) or listen to 夜航星 (night voyager)#i'm rather curious how fanartists on tumblr might tackle character designs since i mostly see the two live action adaptations here#i want to diverge my designs from any particular adaptation but my beihai design takes a lot from 我的三体!#now about beihai- i really enjoyed his characterization and i'd like to bring up a maybe unintentional parallel and foil with the eto#hopefully that's something new to add to the discussion about zhang beihai and here's what adaptations don't get about mike evans#in the book he's a character you mostly only hear about from others and he's known to be a private person#he conceals a lot of his thoughts from even people like ye wenjie + he taught the trisolarans about deceit#then his strategy to kill luo ji was to keep it low and make it seem like an accident which those obfuscations of thought parallels beihai#then evans says: “but… it's obvious now that everywhere is the same” which is similar to beihai's “it doesn't matter. it's all the same”#the contexts differ but i think they're good foils about human nature “being the same” with evans's quote being about futility#then beihai's was about how regardless of if he survived or not- someone else would be able to carry on with his work#i have many other thoughts about beihai like how chu yan's (captain of blue space) group approach with the voting contrasts beihai#while beihai tried to bear the weight of attacking the other ships in solitude- chu yan made vengeance against trisolaris a group effort#(which that action goes against how the swordholder was a solitary role instead of a group one which is neat to me!)#i'd discuss more but i think that's enough to show that i really love zhang beihai (feel free to discuss the books with me though)
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Baby boy brother birthday photos from last year that I just realized I never uploaded!
#cats#also hopefully it's not weird to still post photos of George (the brown cat) even after his death a little while ago. I just have so many#beautiful old pictures of him that I still love but just never had the time to sort through or upload (my cat photos folder on my#computer had like 450 pictures in it or something lol... SO many). I feel like it's kind of just honoring or appreciating him#and not actually strange or anything. like what am I supposed to do. delete them?? I want to share them still because he is beautiful and#perfect ! idk. aNYWAY. Also this is their 2022 birthday when they turned 14 years old. (even though I think when I posted#their 2021 bday I might have said they were 14 then too. I was off by a year lol). 2023 when they turned 15 I unfortunately#was feeling kind of sick at the time and didn't really have the energy to do the decorations like I usually do. So they just got a few#treats and stuff. But I didn't know that would be george's last birthday lol. :/#They also do not really know or care though. they're cats who cannot process it or know the concept of birthdays so. eh#I still have no idea how these got lost on the computer though. Like I had them fully edited ready to post but just sitting in a folder??#Since MARCH 2022 lol... ??? the folder was in another folder of pictures so maybe that's how I overlooked it#But it's my 'once every 4 months computer organizing and clean out time' so I was going tghrough looking for pictures#I could drafts posts out of or sort or etc.#They got lots more treats for this birthday because one of my friends actually game me a few gifts for them#elderly boys.!!!!#I used to write in the little caption/image description sections to talk about them all individually but at some point tumblr broke that#feature and for so long they never saved or weren't visible so I stopped doing them and just ramble a bunch in the tags instead#but I kind of miss them. Thinking about old posts of the cats where I commented on each photo individually too lol.. the good ole days
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chibishortdeath · 5 months
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Hmmm I kinda want to make a side blog for RPG Maker game development related things to be able to talk to more experienced people in that community, but at the same time I both don’t really think I’d get much attention and don’t want to accidentally spoil my own game (^^ ; ).
I have a rough story, concept doodles, a tileset, some character sprites, an enemy that walks around but can’t initiate battle yet (if I even decide to have a battle system), a couple rooms with some events, and a functioning run button, but I’m still lost on how to do much else at the moment. Especially since this program has the ability for scripting, meaning I’ll probably have to learn and actually retain another coding language.
So, I’m not very far at all lol. Idk how well that’d go over on the established fandom website, but eh.
#text post#incoherent rambling#project update#game project#I’m still also debating whether or not I can actually even make a proper horror game too#It’s the rule of like just being a horror fan doesn’t make you good at horror being afraid of something does? ya know?#I am trying to go with things that scare me personally but it’s been difficult#either things aren’t concrete of concepts enough or are wayyyy too oddly specific to make anything about#which is quitter talk I know but how does one translate the childhood heebee jeebees of watching top ten gaming videos past bedtime 💀💀💀#or like the way too broad general fear of lack of control without making it too on the nose or too vague#truly a balancing act writing is#kinda ironically I am also a little bit less afraid of hospitals after having been to one for myself rather than family members#which makes things both more and less difficult???#on one hand I have better references for them now but on the other hand I’m desensitized to it 😔#I think I get used to things a little too easily for a lot of things to stay scary#the thing was a scary movie the first time I saw it and now it’s a comfort film#funger was a very scary game until I first died and reloaded a save with little consequence and now it’s just a spooky but fun rpg#but then at the same time thinking about a movie studio logo before a movie that scared me as a kid cause there was a monster in it#still gives weird left over shivers but actually seeing it doesn’t anymore for some reason#I feel like that’s how it’s worked with most things I’ve ever been afraid of in my life besides concepts like death control or idk drowning#ugh writing is HARD#but actually making a functional and fun to play game is harder oh my god do I not know how to make puzzles#I have made swivel chairs that can be knocked and walked over but that’s about it and idk what to do with that knowledge lmaooooo#and I don’t want the entire gameplay loop to be read text search room get key repeat cause that’s boring#I have also desperately tried making a stamina system but there’s not much help with that online especially not in the rpg maker forums#the no necroposting rule sucks all the threads for questions I have never get answered and never will cause no one is allowed to due to age#anyway idk what to tag this probably won’t get seen since it’s not my usual anyway but eh whatever I’ll think about this#hopefully I remember the passwords to two blogs 💀💀💀
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oh-gh0st · 1 year
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ok i actually need ot ramble ab that wip
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danielnelsen · 6 months
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there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn
#at least i finally got my meds so hopefully i feel a little better soon#although i’m now on 20 pills per day which is Just Great#whenever i’m in remission it’s nice to just. forget sometimes that this can happen at any time#kinda wish i had the typical kinda chronic illness that people talk about with ‘flares’#or at least triggers that i can plan around#the other times have all had an easily identifiable stressor tho tbf. idk what caused this one#the first time was whooping cough and the next few were all very major life stressors like my cat dying right after i started uni#and i think also towards the end of my honours thesis?#but this…….there’s no major stress right now. nothing wildly beyond normal#i’m a little concerned about my joints tho. they’ve been so much worse than normal the last few months#so i’m kinda worried i’m developing rheumatoid arthritis (also an autoimmune disease and it runs in the family specifically)#so if that’s happening then it could set my thyroid off? probably should get to the doctor at some point#obv i’m seeing my endo for thyroid stuff. but i should see my gp and get her to run all the autoimmune blood tests again#i’ve done that before but it’s been a few years and my ankles and knees are so painful i can’t even walk properly a lot of the time#BUT I JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY AND I CANT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT#‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have as many obligations because you’re chronically ill’ ha ha ha please swap lives with me immediately#personal#but seriously. i wasn’t diagnosed until i was nearly 17 and we can trace it back to whooping cough when i was 12#so it was the last half of year 6 and then all of years 7-10 and the start of year 11 of just being. uh. ‘very lazy and complaining a lot’#and TEACHERS joking about me and my sister (who was dealing with an arguably more severe undiagnosed disease) missing so many classes#wow so funny pdhpe teacher who’s supposed to be teaching is about health#and the thing with being a mentally ill teenager is that hyperthyroidism can just look like a very severe anxiety disorder#so i didn’t go to the dr until i was too sick to go to school at all. and luckily had a good dr who did a blood test#i’m just rambling now because i can’t sleep and i don’t wanna lie here doing nothing#might go play pvz or something. that’s been keeping me entertained
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cloudbends · 8 months
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I got so absorbed in the game that I forgot to post about it. oops
#vi rambling#persona#ok. sorted out my thoughts somewhat i think#i think. the gameplay has been greatly improved. i think its well rounded and improves some of what was iffy originally#however. i think my main issue is the storytelling approach theyre taking in terms of tone ans visuals and priorities#because like. tartarus looks genuinely incredible#but something about the games overall muted grungy tone. that worked so well with its overall deathly feel of foreboding. is lost#and well while the effort is put in gameplay and immersion i feel like. the cutscenes are severely lacking. so much was encapsulated in the#cinematogoraphy and editing and overall minimalist aesthetic of the original that here is just. told very plainly and takes away a lot of#the impact of these moments. despite most of the voices being a MAJOR improvement.#idk if this is articulating my feelings on the matter but hopefully it does#its most prominent in their choices of what to keep as cinematics and what to replace with 3d cutscenes and even those are. very bland to me#idk. but im having a great time. especially when i can stop being insane and treat this not as the definitive version of this game.#and yeah i will be talking critically because i like critiquing things even when i like them. its not like i think the original p3 is#objectively perfect. but narratively and visually and thematically and tonally it was perfect to Me. in a way that wasnt recaptured#SORRY ANYWAYS#im after the second full moon we got fuuka her voice is wonderful . also bebes goddamn social link being voiced had me choked... REALLY GOOD
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friendofthecrows · 2 years
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Hate that whenever you do more levels of customization in sizes for clothes it gets more expensive.
I think the ideal would be if you could choose body type (like curvy/hourglass, straight, top heavy, bottom heavy, apple) and THEN choose height, and THEN size down to like XXXS and up to like 4XL.
Or at least have "male," "female," and "unisex" sizes for everything that actually has unisex be in between because like I have a very androgynous build so it's hard to find clothes that fit. The unisex sizes are actually just the same as the male sizes, so they're ill-fitting in the exact same ways.
Of course, the easiest way around this is to buy things a bit too big and then take it in at home, or to shop secondhand where you can try on a ton of different brands in the same place (you might spend hours just looking for a pair of jeans that fit though)
I had a friend that was the opposite of me, she was super curvy, like her chest and hips were XL whereas her waist was a M, and she was really short too so the clothes in her size would always be too long (for me, the clothes in my size tended to always be too short).
Yeah I just wish there were more types of sizes, without it being completely "we'll make it to your measurements" because you know that gets expensive (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) (now that said, I did invest in a custom dress a couple of years ago, and it is still my favorite. It was almost 200 dollars though)
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awkward-smirks · 2 years
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tw for this diary entry: v brief mentions of suicide and maybe some depressive thoughts ??? idk
(don't comment on this post please)
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animatic is killing me stabbing me a thousand times and I love it
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be-good-to-bugs · 2 years
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once again debating trying out another program
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reidmania · 2 months
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THIS IS WHAT THE DRUGS ARE FOR | spencer reid
good riddance x spencer reid one shot series masterlist
summary; when no one else helps spencer’s addiction after being kidnapped — you do, and you offer him help as a recovering addict yourself
warnings; mentions of kidnapping, early seasons reid, around the time of his addiction to dilauded, mentions of suicide, mentions of being shot (pass tense during a case) mentions relapsing, addiction to opioids mentions of being addicted to oxycodone, drug use, overdoses, hurt x comfort, angst, not a lot of romance but its sweet, fem reader, normal criminal minds stuff. mentions of the team completely ignoring spencers addiction bc that was messed up.
an; honestly this was difficult to write as a recovering oxycodone addict, a little bit self indulgent.. whoopsies!! but in honour of 5 years sober 🤗🤗 (i am too open with my issues on social media) this is probably horrible
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‘This is what the drugs are for. Turn the lights off on the comedown I still get emotional, when I think about your old house. Hopefully, the high, works to change my mind’
You noticed quicker than you wanted to admit. It wasn’t like you could pinpoint a certain point, maybe it was when he turned back at you after standing up from the dead body of his kidnapper and you saw the way his pupils blew, something guilty behind them — maybe thats when your concern started.
You knew for certain when his focus was in and out daily. You knew everyone on the team had their suspicions, had the gut feeling that there was something more to the tiredness in Spencer’s eyes. You knew more than you wanted to admit.
Your hands twirled the pen on your fingers as your eyes stayed fixated on the male sitting in front of you, you watched as his hands came up to scratch the inside of his elbow. You knew the motion all too well, like muscle memory.
Your eyebrows furrowed as you heard Hotch ask a question to which only Spencer reid would know the answer to. You shifted your gaze slightly as you leant back in your chair, at his lack of response and focus.
It took Hotch saying his name a second time for his gaze to pull and a small apology to leave his lips. Hotch repeated the question and you watched as it took a minute too long for Spencer Reid’s all to long ramble to start about the detail.
Normally, someone would make a teasing comment about how Spencer had to think about it, but the tension stayed among the group as they all noticed the same thing — yet no one did anything about it.
You knew the feeling well, and it made your skin itch in anger.
Rossi handed out jobs, inviting you to stay back with Spencer to help with case work. You looked at Spencer noticed his eyes dropping, it made your chest ache.
Everyone else had left leaving you and Spencer in the conference room. Your gaze stayed fixated on him as his mind fell in and out of focus. You had to admit if you didn’t know Spencer Reid as well as you did, he hid it well.
“How long?” You muttered out, as your eyes pulled away from his to skim the case. You could feel his gaze on yours and you could practically feel the heavy breath that left his mouth.
His words came out snappy, but you knew he didn’t mean it. “What?”
You looked up at him again, seeing his gaze on yours, his pupils constricted and you could practically see the way his hand was twitching not to claw at the inside of his elbow.
You knew he knew what you meant, you knew he was playing dumb. You pulled the same thing for years. If he wanted to play the game you’d play, and you would outplay him every time. “How long have you been using?”
His face twisted up, he could’ve been an actor.
“Im not.” He pushed out. His voice betrayed his face, as it went an octave higher. For someone so smart you’d think he would know how to lie — but he didn’t, not well. Not to you. He could tell you didn’t believe him from the way your eyebrow quipped. “I don’t know why you’d think that.” He added, trying to sound convincing.
You hummed, “Your pupils are constricted for one. You aren’t focusing, you are all depressed. Oh and you’re slurring.. By the way” You pointed out with your pen in your hand directed towards him. You watched as his face fell for a split second. If you weren’t paying as much attention as you were you might’ve missed it.
But you were paying attention.
“Im just tired— and I have allergies ” He lied. It made you want to laugh at the familiarity of all his lies, the same ones you remember thinking you were so smart for thinking of in the moment so many years ago.
You let out an unconvinced ‘mhm’ as you nodded your head. You watched as it dawned in his eyes that he had been called out. You wondered if maybe he enjoyed the fact that no one pointed it out, until now, until you.
“I had allergies too, for a long time” You stated out simply, playing his game, outplaying him. Your goal here wasn’t to make him feel ashamed, in any way. It was purely to let him know that he wasn’t alone.
You remembered feeling so alone.
He spluttered slightly, his eyes widened the slightest bit. “What?” He breathed out, confused because he never would’ve guessed. You knew that. You knew the person you were now was nothing like the person you were a few years prior. You hid your addiction well but you were changed as a person, and you weren’t nearly the same person you were before the addiction.
You offered him a small smile, “I know an addict when I see one Reid, I know the addiction. I know your skin feels like it’s crawling right now and your head is probably spinning because you are going through withdrawals. I know all the lies, I used them all before” You said softly as you lean your forearms against the table; your eyes softened as your gaze stayed fixated on his.
You watched the words slowly process through his head. Slowly but surely he seemed to understand. He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “How- How long have you known?” He asked, his voice small, evident how confronting this conversation was for him — but he needed it. He needed to know he had someone in his corner.
“I had my suspicions for a while. I wanted to be sure before I said anything..” You muttered out as you reached across the table to take his hand in yours comfortingly, “I was waiting— hoping someone else said something, I know I’m not your first choice of a person to help you through this — but I am here” You said softly.
You weren’t not close to Spencer. You were, close in age, had similar interests and you two got along well. The childish crush you had on him remained buried in between your ribcage — that was the thing about being an addict, it made you a good actor. You could act your way through any feeling.
He almost coughed at your words, his hand tightening around yours as you gave him a supportive squeeze. “Im- Thank you. I-“ His words seemed heavy on his tongue as his head shook. “I’m glad it’s you.” He said honestly.
You offered him a soft smile. You could almost see a question weighing on his mind, “What is it spence? What do you want to ask?” You prompted him, knowing his mind was properly almost complete fog at this point, overtaken by cravings.
“What- What were you addicted to? When?” He asked, eyebrows pushed upwards as if he was trying to figure out the timeline of your addiction, it caused an uncomfortable bubble in your chest.
“I was an oxy’s girl” You said, you knew it wasn’t funny but it seemed as joking was the only way to get through talking about this no matter the unsettling feeling it left in your stomach.
You exhaled heavily, “I started taking them in college after a surgery.. and well- I got addicted, obviously.” You ran your free hand through your hair as the memory dwindled in the back of your mind. Spencer’s hand squeezed your hand softly, making a half hearted tight lipped smile line your lips.
“I was clean when I first started here.” You said, fingers fidgeting. He listened with as much focus as he could with your words — you didn’t take offence to his half out of it mind. You couldn’t. “I relapsed after I got shot and they put me on them — no one knew about my addiction and I was too embarrassed to admit it to the doctors in front of the team, I relapsed once I got out of hospital.” You stated honestly.
You remembered it clear as day, after four years sober, the day you relapsed still stayed engraved into the walls of your mind freshly. You had been shot in the shoulder on a case, you were rushed to hospital and put on oxycodone and other pain medications immediately while unconscious. When you woke up and asked what they had given you, the team was standing around your bed so all you could do was nod, the relapse happened after that.
Spencer’s hand tightened on yours as his face pulled with guilt when he realised he didn’t notice. He opened his mouth to apologise but you cut him off, already knowing what he was going to say. “It’s okay.” You said, tightening your grasp on his hand mirroring his grasp on yours. “I mastered my lies by then, after years and years of lying to everyone around me.. I knew what worked and what did it.. I did it to myself” You spoke honestly.
He chewed on his lip as his gaze adverted to the table. You held his hand tightly as you felt it twitch slightly. You knew he wanted to scratch his elbow and you knew why. Your face softened all over again.
“It’s not worth it Spence. Trust me.” You said, voice heavy with honesty and you meant it more than words could explain. “You get mean, really mean, you lose yourself more and more everyday. Its not worth losing everyone around you, its not worth losing yourself” You gaze stayed on his face even when his eyes avoided yours.
You heard the shaky breath leave his lips, and then his hand left yours as his pinched his eyelids, trying to stop the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes as he squeezed them shut. It made your stomach ache.
“It- Its so hard” He said quietly. You didn’t think you had ever experienced heartbreak like hearing his voice break. Any sort of pain you felt in your life didn’t quite compare to seeing him fall apart from your words.
“I know- I know” You instantly stood up from your seat as you walked around the table towards him, he stood up as well and before you could do anything his hands were around your waist, pressing his body against yours and his head into the crevice of your neck. You arms wrapped around him without a second thought.
You could feel his tears against the skin of your neck, they were hot and thick. Your hand ran across his back gently. You always thought you’d know exactly what to do if this moment ever came to be — but you didn’t.
Words died in the back of your throat as all you could do was hold the boy in your arms as he let out the quietest soft sobs that made a gut wrenching feeling settle in your bones as goosebumps ran over your skin.
“I- I want to stop — I want to- How did you stop?” He said, wiping his face as he stood up straight, arms pulled back by his side. Your heart ached and your skin burned.
You shook your head, “Do you remember when I had to take emergency leave for family emergency?” You asked, eyes looking up into his that gleamed wet and dreary. It pulled on your heart strings and uncomfortable amount,
He nodded briefly, after he took a long moment to try to recall. You nodded back, a sigh leaving your lips. “I- Um.. I overdosed.” You stated, trying to speak stronger than your voice allowed you to. “I was in hospital for two weeks, connected to machines and wires — forced to speak to someone everyday until they deemed me healthy. I didn’t tell anyone- no one knows” You continued to shake your head.
“Do not let it get to that point Spencer — Shaking on the floor and literally frothing at the mouth, feeling so cold but not even functioning enough to know what being cold is, is not want you want. I know it feels good now — but you are going to kill yourself whether you want to or not if you keep taking it.” You spoke clearly, wanting your point to be perfectly clear. It was not worth it.
He held guilt behind fogged eyes, guilt that he didn’t notice, guilt that he almost lost you — literally and he had no idea. That you were alone during the lowest point of your life and he had no idea. He allowed your words to cloud his mind for a moment as they worked to overpower the cravings that were working to controlling his system.
“i- I don’t- Im sorry.” He stuttered over his words as he failed to think of anything better to say. Your face fell briefly as you wrapped your arms around him again.
“Im here? Okay. We will do this together day by day. I am here and I’m always going to be here Spence.” You comforted non the less.
He needed it and you needed him
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olliemnjones · 4 months
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Hey there! Your actually one of my inspiration for art! I really like how realistically shaded the backgrounds are and everything! Do you have any tips for shading in digital art?
Hey, I appreciate it, thank you! There are lots of things that go in to making a good background but this is the main idea that made backgrounds click for me:
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Hopefully you'll agree that of these two shapes, the one on the right feels more 'real', despite the fact neither of these shapes are meant to represent anything. The shape on the right just has a noise filter and a faint light-to-dark gradient from top to bottom. Those two things create movement on a small scale (the noise) and on a large scale (the gradient). The presence of that sort of movement is what gets your brain to register something as real.
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Here I've taken the shape and given it a new environment, a colour and then a gradient. The shape with the movement feels a little more natural in its environment, I think.
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Then directly on top of that, I can start creating small scale movement, like the noise, through brush strokes. At first (on the left) the brushstrokes look quite out of place and unnatural. But as you work in to the surface more, creating more and more overlapping brushstrokes of various sizes and directions - all while trying to maintain the sense of that gradient - the strokes will start to more naturally integrate in to each other, creating a bed on to which other elements will lay naturally.
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Here I give this abstract shape some context by painting some cracks and decay on it. These new elements create movement by giving our eyes more shapes to latch on to and jump between. I then added a pattern to it. This pattern adds more movement and reinforces the light effect by adhering to the gradient (getting darker at the same rate the wall does).
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You can see I use this idea all through this picture. I make sure in any section there is always some kind of movement of light, whether its left-to-right, or top-to-bottom, corner-to-corner etc. Patterns like the woodgrain on the drawer or the textile of the curtain create additional movement and reinforce the dimensions of their respective forms by adhering to them. Bit rambly but I hope there's something useful in there!
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tender-rosiey · 2 years
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OK so like, there this challenge, it like the kid tells their mom to shut up, and see what the dad does
And I was wondering if you could do
Toji, Gojo, Geto, Choso, Sukuna, and Nanami
Hopefully it's a good idea thank you!
“MOM SHUT UP!”
— gojo, nanami, sukuna, and geto react to your kid telling you to shut up
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a/n: oop, i didn’t notice the challenge part; also, I didn’t write one for toji or choso sorry 🥲
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GOJO SATORU:
your 7 year old son —unfortunately or fortunately, you have yet to decide— has inherited a lot of his dad’s traits, including his unbelievably loud mouth that has no filter.
so today, the little fucker, who you’ve carried in your womb for 9 months and have to endure his antics now, told you to shut up when you told him to stop playing and go to sleep.
just as you were about to throw your slipper at his head, your husband takes a hold of your hand. he smiles, “let me take care of this.”
you reluctantly put down your weapon and watch your husband approach your son.
“hey champ,” satoru says and his son glares up at him. satoru’s smile tightens as he thinks of throwing his son out of the window right then and there.
is this how you feel dealing with both of them?
“I heard that you told your mom to shut up; is that true?” satoru asks and somehow his son is finally realizing what he did as his eyes are drowned in guilt.
satoru hears a ‘game over!’ come from his son’s pc and his son frowns, “dad! I lost because of you!”
“maybe if you were nice to your mom then I wouldn’t have to be here, would I?”
“also,” he says, leaning on the chair to see his son’s score, “it looks more like a skill issue on your part.”
the kid is offended as he fills his fist with cursed energy and satoru is just as ready to fight with his son.
soon, they each get a slipper thrown at their heads. satoru falls to the ground whining about how he was only trying to help, but your son looks at you, rubbing his head.
you don’t speak and merely look at him. he gets off his chair and walks to you.
“sorry, mom,” he whispers.
your son, further saddened by your lack of response, hugs you and apologizes again. you feel his tears stain your pants and you sigh as your fingers card through your son’s messy hair.
“just don’t do it again.”
he nods and a small smile takes over your face.
“I still think it’s a skill issue,” your husband says before being taken out by another slipper.
NANAMI KENTO:
“mom just shut up!” your 6 year old daughter says as she hears you ramble over the phone while she was drawing.
your eyes widen and you hang up on your friend before getting up to spank your audacious daughter, “oh I know you ain’t taking to me—“
your husband says your daughter’s name disapprovingly making you stop in your track and her to look up at him with surprise and sadness.
“that’s not something you say to your mother,” he starts off and shakes his head, his disappointment basically radiating at this point, “you have to be respectful to her and appreciate her.”
your daughter looks at the ground as tears swell up in her eyes.
kento continues, “and if you were bothered by the noise,” he places his hand on her head and his voice softens, “then you should’ve asked politely if your mom can talk in a lower voice or you could’ve moved rooms, right?”
she nods, trembling and crying silently.
she looks at you, before running to you and jumping into your arms and apologizing repeatedly for what she did and that she would be a good girl from now on.
you cradle her in your embrace and pat her back to calm her down.
your husband approaches you both and presses a kiss on your forehead and hers. kento whispers in your ear as he looks at his daughter, “she dodged a bullet, huh love?”
you roll your eyes and shove him lightly and he merely presses a kiss to your shoulder with a smile.
for some reason, your daughter places her hand on his face and gently pushes him away.
“mommy is mine,” she softly says and hopes her father is not bothered by her claim.
he merely furrows his eyebrows, “but she is my wife.”
his daughter smiles mischievously and shrugs and nanami realizes just how much a of a devil his sweet daughter can be.
RYOMEN SUKUNA:
being the son of ryomen sukuna, your son has been raised to be befitting of the title of a king and that includes his speech mannerism that he picked from his dad.
somehow, that further irritates you as your son says, “silence, mother!”
it reminds you of a certain king of curses who says, “silence, woman.”
however, the king of curses does not escape your wrath when he says those words and neither will your son.
“oho? is ‘silence’ something you say to your mother, s/n?” you inquire and your son narrows his eyes in an attempt to intimidate you, but it only causes your cursed energy to increase which makes the boy gulp slightly.
your husband enters the room and is confused by the display: your son looking at you scared and you looking close to smacking the hell out of the kid, “what’s the matter?”
you look at sukuna, “oh I don’t know; why don’t you tell him s/n?”
your son looks at you then at his dad. “…I told mother to be silent,” he says shamefully.
your husband barks out a laugh but is quickly punched in the stomach by you. he falls to the ground and glares at you, “why you!” he grumbles.
“sukuna-sama, is telling your mother to be silent a good thing?” you emphasize the honorific and your husband stands up and shakes his head.
“no,” he grumbles and you nod, looking at your son.
your son frowns and walks to you then bows slightly, “apologies mother, it’s my mistake.”
you sigh and gently flick his forehead, “I am your mother; don’t bow to me silly.”
your son looks up to you, surprised and smiles, nodding before hugging you.
meanwhile, sukuna is there, complaining about how you dared to punch the king of curses.
GETO SUGURU:
your 5 year old daughter had told you to shut up while she was watching her favorite show and you have started ignoring her ever since.
whenever she would try to talk to you, you would turn away from her and walk away. she didn’t know or rather realize what she did wrong so she went to her daddy to ask for help.
“daddy, I don’t know why mommy is ignoring me!” she tells him seriously and he looks at her nodding while munching on his cereal.
“did you do anything wrong that made mommy mad?” he asks and smiles at how she scratches her head as she thinks. after a while, she shakes her head clueless.
he hums before looking at her, “well, a little birdie told me that you told her to shut up; is that true?”
she tilts her head, “how did the birdie know?”
“I will tell you later, but what’s important now: is it a good thing to tell mommy to shut up?” he inquires, raising and eyebrow at his daughter who plays with the hem of her shirt as she mumbles a small ‘no…’
“there you go, now you know why mommy won’t talk to you,” he winks, “now go apologize; good people apologize when they do something wrong, right?”
she nods with a small smile and he ruffles her hair, “good girl.”
later on, after everything is resolved, she is nestled in your lap and suguru is beside you with his arm around you as she asks, “daddy, how did the little birdie know?”
he smiles and he doesn’t tell her that his cute wife, you, was huffing about how rude her daughter can be and how he had to hug her and pepper her with kisses to calm her down.
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taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss @pompompurin1028 @scul-pted @dazaisdeathwish @requiem626k @nameless-shrimp @shinys-bsd-world-1 @sonder-paradise @ravenina14 @jessbeinme15s-notebook @todorokichills @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned @beautiful-is-boring @starlostlaiba @izukus-gf @irethepotato @thekaylahub @luciferspen @aeanya @sweetcloudsimp @moon-catto @the-midnightskies @fiona782 @ginneko @kisakitwister @imjustasimpxd @psychopotatomeme @dreamcastgirl99 @watyousayin @doobiebochana
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copyright © tender-rosiey
do not copy or plagiarize or i will suplex you
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gi4hao · 4 months
Text
ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ ˎˊ- comforting their s/o that’s scared of talking too much
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ot13 x gn!reader — no warnings i think
veeeery self-indulgent post i’m ngl :) if you relate to the prompt then hopefully this will provide you with some comfort! <3
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— seungcheol
he will insist on knowing who put such nonsense in your mind, because how dare they make you feel self-conscious about one of the things he loves the most about you? he absolutely adores that you passionately ramble about the most random things; it always lifts his mood even after a long and exhausting day. and that’s what he’s here to remind you: that you should never be ashamed of talking if it’s something that makes you happy.
— jeonghan
any kind of negative thoughts on your part becomes his #1 priority so he takes time to discuss it with you and give you enough reassurance. he reminds you that talking a lot is not a bad thing at all, and that you’re also an amazing listener, which he’s very grateful for. “people are just jealous because you’re interesting enough not to run out of conversation!” he tells you, wiping your tears away. it truly breaks his heart to see you so self-conscious so he’ll definitely be extra careful regarding this topic in the future <3
— joshua
no matter where that insecurity comes from, he comforts you with immense patience and lots of cuddles, reminding you of how much your words matter. on a more personal note, he absolutely adores the sound of your voice, it’s one of his favorite things about you. “i’d fall asleep to your voice every night if i could,” he tells you, looking into your teary eyes with a smile, and you just know he’s being 100% honest, “and you should never ever feel bad about wanting to share things with the people you love.”
— jun
it really pains him to hear that’s how you feel because he can only imagine how long you’ve been thinking about it before even telling him. but jun is here to tell you that you always make people feel comfortable, which is something he finds absolutely wonderful about you. he knows it can be hard to overthink about your social skills so he will always make sure to encourage you to speak your mind (whether it’s through a gentle squeeze of the hand or a smile from across the room). and he also showers you with kisses because he knows it’s one of the best remedies for overthinking :]
— hoshi
what? you? talking too much? oh he’s not gonna let that slide. he proceeds to go off on a tangent about your countless qualities (some that aren’t even related to the topic, he just gets carried away), because he will not let you struggle alone with your insecurities, that’s for sure. as often, he wishes he could lend you his eyes to make you understand how perfect you are to him. “and so what if you talk a lot? i do too! it’s who i am, it’s who you are and that’s why we’re a match made in heaven.”
— wonwoo
it feels weird for him to hear that you’re self-conscious about something he really admires you for. according to him, it’s the ease with which you talk that made your first dates not feel awkward. he loves how good you are with words of affirmation, and he also insists on how it inspires him to be more vocal about his own thoughts and feelings. “i don’t think you realize how entertaining you are. but i sure realize how lucky i am to have you,” he tells you in a more lighthearted tone, pressing a kiss against your temple.
— woozi
he insists on the fact that he’s one of the people that spends the most time with you, so you can truly believe him when he tells you that it’s not true. “that’s just because you love me,” you tell him, comfortably snuggled up against his side. “it is,” he replies, “but that goes for everyone around you; the people who love you will accept you for who you are. and if they don’t… screw them”. because woozi may be an absolute sweetheart but he has very low tolerance for the people who mess with his partner’s head.
— dokyeom
first and foremost, he offers to hug the sadness away, which kind of works because he’s a professional when it comes to comfort hugs. he knows it’s normal to have insecurities but he hates seeing you so self-conscious, so he’ll definitely try his best to cheer you up. also, words cannot describe how much he loves talking with you, so he’d really hate it if these bad thoughts ended up changing your personality. most of the time he’s the bubbly one, but he also likes to be fueled by his very own sunshine from time to time.
— mingyu
as a professional yapper, he understands where that insecurity might be coming from, which means he knows exactly how to comfort you. he’s here to remind you of all the times you’ve been a great listener to either him or your friends, and the great pieces of advice that followed. mingyu thinks your inputs are always important, no matter the conversation, and he’s so freaking happy to be sharing his life with someone that can keep up with his own pace! as long as he’s here, you know you’ll always have someone to listen to your every word.
— minghao
he’s scared he might have accidentally made you feel that way while teasing you (lovingly ofc), so he apologizes profusely until you tell him that he has nothing to do with it. “you enjoy sharing your perspective on things and that’s beautiful,” he reassures you, “and you know me, i’d tell you if you were too overbearing… but you’re not. so don’t worry your pretty head, ok?”. and it’s moments like these that truly make you feel grateful for minghao’s wise and comforting words, always carefully chosen to make your worries disappear in a second.
— seungkwan
kind of like cheol, he wants names. because - and he’s saying that with all due respect - they should know they’re just stupid people spreading stupid lies. seungkwan knows you by heart, he knows you’re a selfless person that’s always here to help their loved ones, and he thinks you’re not giving yourself enough credit for that! “you’re absolutely perfect in every way, and i thi- stop. i can see you’re about to argue but i’m not letting you win this one. no way.”
— vernon
he has a really sensitive approach to this issue, knowing how hard it is when you get in your own head. hugs and cuddles are definitely a part of him comforting you, but he also makes you promise something (and you can see from the look in his eyes that he’s very serious). “if you ever start overthinking after any kind of social interaction, private or public, with or without me, please come and talk to me. i’ll try my best to help you get rid of these thoughts, alright?”. because at the end of the day, he wants to be someone you can be fully transparent with, just like he is with you.
— dino
according to him, you shouldn’t even be thinking about how much you talk in a day. instead, he worries that you might be surrounding yourself with people that simply do not appreciate this aspect of your personality. “if you have something to say, go ahead! being yourself should make you happy, and life’s already too complicated to worry about speaking too many words!” he tells you, and you can tell he genuinely wants you to let go of these hurtful thoughts. but he also knows how hard it is, and luckily chan is great at making long-term efforts (especially for your wellbeing), so expect lots and lots of carefulness and support on a daily basis.
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rbs and feedback are always appreciated <3
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jgracie · 6 months
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REMEMBER THAT NIGHT? — PERCY + DAUGHTER OF NYX
masterlist | rules
❝ I was wondering maybe u can write headcanons for percy with nyx daughter!reader where they're literally the same person personality wise and same sense of humor and sarcasm and same interests etc.. ❞ — 🪼
in which percy dates a daughter of nyx
pairing percy jackson x nyx!reader
warnings none!
on the radio . . . remember that night? (sara kays)
Your first proper introduction comes during Capture the Flag. Annabeth, one of the few children of the Olympians you spoke to, had asked you to play on her team
You usually didn’t play, seeing it as a game for the children of the Gods, not a demi-primordial such as yourself. However, after lots of begging (and agreeing to buy you the good chocolate from the outside world), Annabeth convinced you to join in
On the day, she quickly explained the rules to you then pulled you to the side, distress etched on her face as her head whipped around, clearly looking for someone
“Percy, you’re late! You almost ruined my plan,” she said, grabbing him by the arm and yanking him to where you were standing. The boy started rambling something about two hippocampi needing his help with their housing situation, giving the two of you a sheepish look until Annabeth interrupted him
“This is Y/N, daughter of Nyx. You’ll be working with her today,” Annabeth said, “the two of you will be stationed at our flag, which I put near the lake. Y/N, I’m gonna need you to use your powers to blind anyone who comes near our flag so that Percy can use the element of surprise to his advantage and spray them with water. Got it?” Before you could say anything, Annabeth ran off to be with her siblings, leaving you with the flag and Percy Jackson
It was really awkward at first. Percy walked circles around the flag while you played around with your shadow, making it turn into all sorts of shapes
You weren’t keeping track of how long the game had been going on for, but you were bored. You didn’t agree to play Capture the Flag just to stand around the flag with some random guy (even if he was really handsome)
Eventually, you were no longer interested in your shadow and decided to strike up a conversation with Percy, asking him about the hippocampi he mentioned earlier
“Well,” Percy began, cheeks turning pink as he realised how silly his story was, “these two hippocampi broke up, but neither of them wanna move out of the cove they’re living in, so I’ve been trying to find a cove just as nice that’ll hopefully convince one of them to move,” he finished, hoping you wouldn’t think he was weird
To his surprise, you started laughing, “so you’re their divorce attorney?” You managed to ask through fits of giggles, “that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day.” 
Percy was relieved. He was so worried he’d embarrassed himself in front of a really beautiful girl, but you were actually amused! 
People started showing up for the flag, but the two of you defended it like your life depended on it. You worked your magic, causing the area around the people from the opposite team to turn as black as the night, while Percy sent them away with a wave of water
Soon enough, you heard cheers erupt as Annabeth and everyone else from your team came running towards you with the other team’s flag. After celebrations took place, people started heading back to their cabins and various other activities, leaving you and Percy alone
You began to walk away, missing the comforting darkness of your cabin, when suddenly someone stopped you in your tracks, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder
“Hey, Y/N, I had a lot of fun playing Capture the Flag with you today,” Percy said, “you’re really cool and stuff… and I was wondering if, you know…”
“If we could hang out? Sure, Percy! I had a lot of fun with you too. Come to my cabin tomorrow!” You said, giving him a smile before leaving
Percy sighed. He meant to ask you out on a date.
He still showed up at your cabin. You didn’t specify a time, so he hoped first thing after breakfast was alright
(It was. He could’ve shown up at 3am and you would’ve been fine with it)
You started to get to know each other, realising with every passing minute how incredibly similar you were
Both of you spoke sarcasm like it was a second language, you both enjoyed rock music, skating, basketball, and of course, sea animals. Whatever Percy liked, there was a high chance you liked too, and vice versa (I had to look up Percy’s interests on reddit)
He began showing up at your cabin more often, and then you started showing up at his, and soon enough you became known as one package
You still weren’t dating though. You were both worried the other only saw you as a friend
One day, a half-asleep Percy was making his way to the dining pavilion (is that what it's called?) when he overheard your siblings talking
“She’s so in love with him!” One of them said to the other, giggling. Percy didn’t like to eavesdrop, but he couldn’t help himself. This could be about you, after all
The other nodded enthusiastically, “I think Percy’s in love with her too, they’re both just oblivious about it.” Okay, so it was definitely about you. You’re the only person Percy could ever be in love with
Grinning, he began to plan his confession
In the middle of the night, you heard knocking on the front door of your cabin. Exhausted, you dragged yourself away from the comfort of your bed to go and answer.
You were ready to berate whoever your visitor was, until you discovered it was none other than Percy. With a finger in front of his lips, he took your hand and walked you all to the beach
There, Percy finally deemed it safe for you to talk. He watched as you took in what was in front of you: a midnight picnic consisting of a blue tablecloth and a wide range of blue foods
“Perce, what is this?” You asked, unable to hold back the smile that was making its way onto your lips. This might’ve been the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you
“I wanted to stargaze today, and thought I should bring the expert with me,” he replied as you sat down, opening a bottle of blue coke and handing it to you
You looked up at the sky and marvelled at how clear it was that night, “I love the stars, they’re so pretty. They remind me of home,” you told him, mesmerised by the way they glimmered in your mother’s domain
“They are,” he said wistfully. Turning to him, you found that he had never been looking at the stars to begin with, but at you
According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves
Slowly, you and Percy inched closer and closer together. When you finally kissed, you felt reunited with your other half.
Now that my essay of a backstory is done, we can move onto the dating
You have midnight feasts all the time. Most of the time, you do them at his cabin, since he’s the only one there and you’re less likely to be caught by the harpies, but sometimes you do them at that spot at the beach (it’s been dubbed ‘Percy and Y/N’s spot’ by everyone at camp because Percy’s weirdly territorial over it)
Percy loves spending time at your cabin too. Specifically spending time with your siblings. Being the children of night, you can easily camouflage yourselves within the night and shadows, which means you can eavesdrop on whoever you want
Therefore, your siblings know EVERYTHING and Percy loves hearing about it all
He used to be scared of the dark, as it meant losing an important sense, but you showed him all the beautiful parts of it. Now, the dark feels like a warm blanket reminding him of home (you) <3 
He still has nightmares though, and waking up to a pitch black room after a nightmare isn’t the best feeling, so one day, you help him out
You woke with a start as you felt Percy shift next to you, clearly trying to process the nightmare he just had. Pouting, you felt your heart ache at his pain. He deserved a good night’s rest
You put your hands together and began to make a ball of light, illuminating the room. Now, you could see the unshed tears in Percy's eyes
“What is this?” He asked, reaching his hand out to touch it. You let go, giving it to him
“Your own star, for when I’m not here. It’s like a night-light. You turn it off by tapping it.” Percy let go of the star, opting to hold you instead
Kissing the top of your head, he mumbled “thank you, sweetheart, you’re the best.”
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