#I was getting swarmed by pics and video of everything by a few people. I was getting so overwhelmed! XD

[tacitusauxilium]

So I saw the Persona 3 Reload panel on YouTube.

Can I just say I cried when people saw the new Fuuka concept art and they were all chanting her name?! My husband even grabbed my arm cause he was so happy for me.

God she looks so good!

[erodasfishtacos]

Take a Hike

Prompt: When Harry and Y/N take the baby for a hike and end up being followed by fans.

word count: 2.2 k

contains: language, sexual content

Harry was furious. He just wanted to go on a hike  - like a normal family on a warm June day in a beautiful foreign country.

You were currently in Madrid - on Harry’s European leg of the tour.

While Harry had been doing press - you and Sasha had taken to the hotel pool where she could splash and enjoy the water all day.

It wasn’t without a eagle-eyed security guard who lurked in the background for shady characters and overzealous fans.

Fans - they wanted picture with you because you were Harry Styles’ wife. Not inherently famous on your own.

It was a bit odd, but you didn’t mind occasionally stopping to snap a pic with a excited fans. 

However, when you and Harry were out with the baby - it was completely off limits. Neither Harry nor you would stop for fans and paparazzi if you were toting around your little love.

She didn’t like the crowds and shouts that came along with swarms of people. She would slap her little hands over her ears, dig her face into her parent’s neck, and whimper.

Harry had always been protective of you when it came to these situations. One of the major downfalls of being so famous.

Harry had nearly gotten arrested when a clumsy pap had nearly push you over while you were eight months along. 

**

You and Harry had loaded up all the necessities for the five-mile hike on one of the trails right outside the city.

Sasha had a generous amount of sunscreen on and a little hat to protect her face. She refused to wear the sunglasses.

Harry had a pack for her - so you helped him load your two-year-old onto his back. He knew it was going to ache like a motherfucker but she was a bit too heavy for you. You opted for the backpack with everything in it.

The trail was semi-busy. Both of you donned sunglasses and hats to attempt to disguise yourselves a little bit.

Harry had even pulled on a hoodie - despite the heat - to cover his very recognizable tattoos.

You made it the two and a half miles in without any interruptions. 

Sasha falling asleep halfway through the trek with her cheek smushed against her father’s shoulder blade.

You snapped a few pictures in front of the waterfalls and beautiful rock structures. But you had decided not to wake your daughter from her nap.

You and Harry had taken an obligatory kissing selfie that would likely be your new Lock Screen. 

You both had made the mistake of taking off your sunglasses for the picture because you can hear muted whispers from other tourists.

“Is that fucking Harry Styles?”

“Yes. Oh my god! That’s his wife and baby!”

“Snap a video, Emilia!”

Harry’s noticeable tenses as he slides his sunglasses back onto his nose. Protective papa bear was in full-force around strangers who knew who he was.

The most important thing in Harry’s mind was his family’s safety.

“Let’s go, lovie,” Harry murmurs softly. His British accent surely giving him away if they heard it.

You nod anxiously - pointedly not making eye contact with the fans and small group that was gathering.

As you begin the journey back down the small mountain - you notice the group trailing behind you. Following you guys.

Jaw clenched, you want to scream at them to stop taking pictures of your sleeping baby. But you attempt to keep your cool.

It wasn’t more than ten teenage girls but it didn’t really matter who it was.

The girls are getting louder, more excited. When one of them squeals in joy of seeing her celebrity crush - who she had ticket for his concert tomorrow as did the rest of the group.

The noise startles the curly-haired baby on Harry’s back awake. She immediately starts crying - her hands coming to grip frantically in her fathers matching curls.

“Daddy,” Sasha sobs, grabbing at him as the girls keep snapping pictures and cooing.

Harry’s face is stone - attempting to keep his anger at bay. He was about to lose his shit and you couldn’t blame him.

He couldn’t always treat people with kindness.

“Down, want down,” she lisps, no longer wanting to be confined in her pack. It was also most likely time for a diaper change.

“Not right now, sweetheart. Please be good for mumma and I,” Harry rasps, reaching back to give her leg a comforting pat.

You look at your husband, “Please - let’s just try to make it out of here as soon as possible.”

Harry sighs, “I’m sorry, love.”

You brush his shoulder lightly, “it isn’t your fault people act this way. I just can’t stand when this happens around her.”

Harry’s slight smile from your reassurance turns into a glare when he realizes the nosy fans were trying to talk to his upset baby - who notably did not like strangers.

He’s quick to unstrap the toddler and shuffle her into your arms. You cradle her and turn you back away from the group. 

“Mumma, no cameras,” she whines, her words a little jumbled but you understood.

“I know, baby. Daddy’s going to take care of it,” you coo assuringly. Her fingers finding their way into her mouth to soothe her.

Harry slides her carrier off his shoulders and tosses it next to your feet. He’s trailing over to the jumpy, overly-excited fans.

“Listen,” he states firmly, speaking loudly over their giggles, “y’need to stop following us and takin’ pictures. You’re scaring our baby.”

They chatter a bit, begging from picture and then they promise they’ll leave us alone.

“Absolutely not,” Harry states, trying to stay level headed with these immature teens who adored him.

With that, he’s headed back to you guys. The girls shouting unflattering things at him like “asshole” and “douchebag.”

He decided to ignore it and quickly allows you to strap the baby back into her carrier. His eyes study your face to make sure you’re alright and you give him a calm smile, squeezing at his bicep.

—- 

The girls trailed off after a few more minutes of following us. Harry hummed and sang a few nursery rhymes to Sasha to keep her calm but she was still fussy.

Back the hotel, Sasha was freshly bathed and laid down for a nap in the second bedroom. A baby monitor sat on the bathroom countertop as you two showered off the sweat and dirt.

Harry was still upset about the incident so you decided upon a good cuddle in a warm shower. His cheek was rested in the top of you head and his arms holding you to his wet chest.

“Just want to be normal - for one fuckin’ day,” he huffs with frustration.

“We had a totally normal, fun hike. It wasn’t ruined, I promise. It’s our reality so they’re is no use in being upset about it.”

Harry loved how level-headed you were to balance out his irrational, impulsive feelings and actions.

“You’re t’good to me, I love you.”

“At the end of the day, I knew what I was signing up for when you and I got married. I also knew when we had Sasha that paparazzi would still hound you.”

“Didn’t sign up to be harassed constantly though. I just feel so bad about it sometimes. It scares Sasha and it makes me feel like a bad father.”

You knew he was about to throw himself into a downward spiral if you didn’t distract him. 

“You know what else I signed up for when I married you?” I murmur into his neck, letting my lips ghost over his hammering pulse.

“Wha’s that?” He asks genuinely, a little slow on the uptake because of how deep in thought he was.

“That you would fuck me whenever I wanted,” you nearly purr, landing a not-so-gentle nip to the vein protruding on his neck.

“Is tha’ right? Put a ring on your finger and now I gotta give you my cock whenever you please?” He grunts at your teeth pinching his sensitive skin.

It’s amazing how it takes little to no effort to get this man in the mood.

“Mmm, if you want to be a good, dutiful husband,” you taunt - knowing he’ll take the bait.

“Am I not a good husband, pet? I fuck you any chance you let me. Give it to you anytime time you wan’ it. You know that.”

His hand is tugging your thigh up roughly, making your centers align with delicious pressure as he slips right between your folds.

“Harry,” Y/N groans, your head falling down to watch where he’s teasingly grinding his cock against your entrance and clit.

“Want me t’put it in, love?” He drawls like he has all the time in the world. The water pelting on his back making him pink.

“Ple-please,” you choke out, nipples harden against his chest even in the warmth of the shower. Sensitive with every brush against his smooth pecs. 

“You know what else you signed up for when y’married me?” He asks, his voice as deep and smooth as honey.

“What?” I reply, whining each time he teases at pushing in.

“That when you beg for my prick - you’ll be a good girl and take it.” 

With that, he’s thrusting up into you with full force. His sharp hipbones meeting the plushy, soft skin of yours.

“Ooh, oh fuck,” Y/N gasps, wrapping an arm around his neck as he presses brushing marks into your thigh where he’s holding you for leverage.

“C’mon, you can take it,” your husband goads, relentlessly hitting the spot that send licks of flames of your spine.

Your legs are feeling weak with how hard he’s pounding into you. He is so intuned with your body that he moves his hands to you backside.

He lifts you up easily, your legs wrapped around his waist, and his presses you back into the cold tile wall. 

He was so fucking good. How’d you manage to marry him? Unexplainable. 

“Am I good husband? Fuck you well enough?” He hisses against your open mouth as you pant heavily.

“So so good, H. Best husband ever,” you whimper, welcoming the friction from his pelvis against your swollen bud.

“Sweet girl,” he murmurs happily, “I think you deserve to come”

You throw your head back as he speeds up, fingers reaching to flick at your nerves - just on the right side of painful.

It’s just what you needed to climax. He always somehow knew what you needed. His fingers are consistent as he lets you ride it out.

It is only a few more rough thrusts before he’s cursing and coming as well. His hand grasping harshly at your jaw to bring you into a searing kiss.

“Never gonna get sick of watchin’ you come on my cock,” he chuckles, carefully placing your feet back on the ground but keeping a tight hold of your hips.

You lean in to give him a quick but meaningful kiss before going about cleaning your body again after the mess you two created. 

It takes a little longer than necessarily due to you constantly having to bat his wandering hands away from your body.

—-

It dark out now, the city of Madrid illuminated through the large windows of the high-rise hotel.

Sasha was exhausted after the hike and full day at the pool - despite napping twice. She was always out like a light around eight-thirty

You were tightly tucked into Harry’s side, head resting on his shoulder. Your eyes becoming bleary from drowsiness. 

Your toddler was sprawled out on Harry’s chest, fast asleep with one of your husband’s large hands resting on her back. 

Harry was scrolling aimlessly through his phone when he chuckle softly, handing you his mobile to see what was on the screen.

It was a video-recording of an Instagram Live. 

The video forwarded by Jeff. The volume low to not disturb your daughter.

It was a teenager girl who looks unpleasantly familiar.

“Um - yeah. So we saw him and we were hiking freaking out. ‘Cause like we’re going to his concert tomorrow.”

Then girls eyes flick to the commenters to answer questions.

“He had his baby. His wife was there too.”

“No, so he was so unfriendly! He flipped out because we wanted an autograph!”

The girl was mimicking Harry’s thick accent, “when we asked for a picture - he legit said ‘absolutely not.’”

I shake my head at the girl’s antics, “how dare you not take a photo. You’re such a dick.” You tease.

Harry smirks, taking the phone back and tossing it on the cushion. His hand rubbing gentle circles on his sleepy baby.

“None of tha’ matters,” Harry says softly, “I don’t care what anybody but you thinks ‘bout me. At the end of the day, as long as I have you and the bab - I’ll be happy.”

[damnlance]

Klance angsty prompt 6 please 👀

Klangst Prompt #6

6. “You’ve never hurt me. Ever”

Summary: Lately, Lance has been stressed beyond the point of breaking… The end of the war was 3 years ago and yet, it’s not enough time to pass for Lance to feel better. Not even close. Everyone has always called him a hero. And since the day they landed back on earth, everyone has gone so far to ask for photos and autographs and all that. These days Lance is sick of it.

Or; the pressures of being the ‘savior of earth’ has been building up inside of Lance, causing him to erupt on any and everyone.

Good thing he has his amazing boyfriend.

-there’s a slow start, but I PROMISE it’s klance so just keep reading!

-also galra (kitten) Keith ?? I love him

-

It all started with a fangirl just a few weeks ago.

Lance decided to walk to his favorite coffee shop one chilly afternoon. He woke up really late and was immediately craving something sweet yet bitter. And since he lives with most of his family, running out of coffee five days after buying a brand new pack of it is very common, especially when no one wants to buy more for whatever reason.

So there Lance was, walking down the street. Hands tucked into his blue lion hoodie (thanks to all the merch the fans of voltron have made over the years), making his way to the closest coffee shop near his home. And then he hears the high pitched squeal of a girl at least 10 feet away from him. Then 9 feet.. then 6.. then 4 because she’s literally running at him with the speed of a hundred cheetahs chasing a gazelle until she’s right there, face to face with Lance.

“Oh my god!!” She yelled, jumping up and down like some 5 year old girl getting a puppy. She was about 5’7, short brown hair and huge blue eyes that almost resembled Lance’s. She wore this giant faux fur coat and beanie to match, and her phone was IN LANCE’S FACE.

She was all over him and it was attracting others to stare their way. Lance tried to calm her down by smiling and using a little of his charm but it was just making the girl fangirl even more. So he took a picture with her to be on his way before the coffee shop got too busy. But she wouldn’t back off. Apparently she wasn’t satisfied with the picture, something about how her eyes were closed? Or how blurry it came out? Lance couldn't remember, he just wanted his coffee.

The girl kept hounding him and following him, demanding that he retake the picture with her. Lance let her down easy, saying how he needed to be someplace important and that he was running late. The girl kept pushing him. Following his every move, right on his heels. Begging, pleading with him to take more pictures because she ‘needed them,’ whatever that meant. Lance tried his hardest to be nice and polite because as a former paladin of voltron and as one of seven someone’s who have saved the entire universe, his image is everything. Without him or his former paladins, there would probably be no earth. So he stopped in his tracks and took a better picture with the girl.

He felt good to see her happy because of something that he had done. Plus he looked really good in that picture, who knew the earth’s natural lighting at 1pm could make his skin look so smooth? Once he gave his approval of the better pic, he was on his way again, hoping that the line to the coffee shop wasn’t even longer now. As he started to fast walk down the busy sidewalk, something yanked him back by the neck and he came crashing down. Literally. He fell right back on his ass and when he looked up, this same crazy girl was looming over him like a mad woman. With his blue hand-knit wool scarf dangling from her grabby hands. The anger that had been simmering in Lance’s gut was at a full blown boil and he was just about ready to explode. So.. he kinda did..

Long and embarrassing story short, Lance yelled at her. He snatched his blue scarf out of her hands so fast, it scared her, and as he rubbed his most likely bruised tailbone, he got in her face and began blaming her for the world's most horrible fan interaction. He was so angry, that he balled his fists, stomped his foot and had veins protruding out of his neck and forehead. He called her names and most likely spit in her face, but he didn’t care. And when he was done, he took a step back and examined the girl in front of him. She was folded in on herself, holding her arms close to her body as her bottom lip quivered and fat, giant tears rolled down her cheeks. She looked so.. mortified. And actually.. scared of him. Like if Lance were to say anything or move a muscle, she’d flinch.

Seconds later, Lance’s face softened into something regretful and he went out to reach for her, to apologize. But, like he knew she would, she flinched. And then hurried away like he was a mad man. All the while crying and clutching her phone to her chest. Lance felt absolutely demolished inside. He tried to go after her but his feet were glued to the cement of the sidewalk. He didn’t even want his coffee anymore.

Thankfully, there were no viral videos or photos or posts about the incident. Lance ended up tracking the girl down a few days later and showered her with all the love he could muster, even taking as many pics as she wanted and liking them on Instagram when she tagged him. But.. something inside him still felt so horrible about the incident. For a moment, Lance had realized that he genuinely hurt that girl for no real reason. He just wanted some coffee but is coffee more important than the people who are thankful and want to show their gratitude for him for everything he did with voltron? If the roles were reversed and he stayed on earth, he would be bending over backwards to let all the paladins know just how thankful he was to live another day on their planet. That girl probably had family, friends, maybe a spouse and kids, and in the midst of that horrible battle 3 years ago, she most likely thought that one of those days would be her last with them.

It broke Lance’s heart thinking about it. He really hurt her. Sure, he made it right and she forgave him, but in that single moment, he actually hurt someone enough to make them cry, to make them run away from him. It was a terrible feeling. It wasn’t Lance. He never wanted that to happen again.

And at the same time.. he.. kinda never wanted to be the savior of earth. Not really.. he just wanted to feel like he had a place in the universe, and to know that he played an important role. That he mattered.

Guess he really matters now..

He sends a long text to Keith with shaky hands.

Message delivered..

The second he walked through the door, his phone rang. It was a three-way call with Hunk and Pidge. Lance pressed the green button to answer and placed the phone to his ear. Immediately, Hunk starts going on and on about how much he misses Lance and when the next time they’ll see each other will be. Lance smiled at his best friend’s inability to ever take a breath between sentences and replied with a warm ‘I miss you too, buddy.’ They got to catching up as Lance ordered his garlic knots and sat down at a private booth near the back of the place. He didn’t want to draw any attention to himself, especially when he got the call from his best friends.

Hunk tells him all the great things that’s been happening at the Garrison and even on the Atlas. He tells him how his restaurant is doing and how his family is doing and how Shay is doing. Pidge catches him up on things with her family, some new inventions she’s been working on, and how being the youngest teacher at the Garrison is going. Lance listens and gives his two cents on everything his friends tell him and honestly, he couldn’t be more happy for them. The way they were able to just get their lives together 3 years after the war is.. incredible. It made him think about everything he’s done since the war ended. Which wasn’t much.. he took over his family’s farm and brought it back to life, he helps out Colleen, Pidge’s mom, with medicine and finding cures to strange space illnesses with plants she has him grow on his farm, and his family’s market wouldn’t be as popular or swarming with business if he didn’t work there. Sad but true. And that’s really it. He hasn’t done much else. Nothing life changing or breathtaking like his friends.

But Hunk and Pidge don’t need to know that. So he simply replies with: “Oh, ya know.. same old, same old,” and hopes it works enough to keep the conversation flowing and follow up questions at bay. It does.

30 minutes into their conversation and Lance is starting to feel a little.. agitated. With the garlic knots consumed and digesting in his stomach, he sits in the booth, alone, listening to his friends go on and on and on about their perfect jobs and their perfect little lives. He gets lost a few times and at one point has literally no idea what they’re talking about. When he tries to ask what or who or even get the slightest details, Pidge lets out a sigh that Lance can’t help but feel like is out of annoyance. Lance sighs back and continues to stay silent because obviously he’s not getting anywhere. Why even bother putting him on a call that Hunk and Pidge could have just had on their own??

Balling his fist, Lance let out a loud, overdramatic sigh. He didn’t care if his friends heard it or how they took it. He was upset. The conversation between his two friends comes to a halt and then awkward silence. Pidge is the first to speak up with a:

“Something you wanna add, Lance?” The annoyance in her voice is very much there and Lance doesn’t miss it. He scoffs loudly and grits his teeth.

“No.” He says, voice deepening in anger.

“Oh really?” Pidge asks, poking the sleeping bear that lies dormant in lance. “Cause it sure sounds like it to me. Why don’t you stop being such a fucking child and tell us what’s bothering you this time??”

Lance damn near growls.

The line has gone quiet now. Hunk’s unsteady breathing is audible but other than that, silence. Lance digs his nails into the skin of his palms and tries to keep the angry tears in his eyes from falling down his cheeks. With a deep shaky breath, he smiles through the pain.

“You know what, Katie,” Lance spits and it makes Hunk gasp. “Fuck YOU and this stupid, shitty attitude you have all the time!”

“Oh, god..” Hunk winces.

“I don’t know what the actual fuck crawled up your ass,” Lance continues, “but I’m sick of it! I've been sick of it for years! I’m sick of keeping my mouth shut and quite frankly, I’m sick of YOU!”

Lance is standing up out of his seat now. His chest heaves up and down as the angry tears have fallen past his face and down his neck. His voice is two octaves deep from anger and the skin of his palm is bloody from how hard he’s digging his nails into it. The place has gone quiet now and Lance can feel multiple pairs of eyes on him. So much for not drawing any attention to himself.

The line is quiet. Then, the sound of a huff of breath. A small laugh.. And then:

“Wow. Nice one, McClain..” Pidge’s voice is small, but so full of something. “Go screw yourself, you asshole.”

The call ends. Whether Pidge or Hunk ended it, is unclear.

Minutes pass, and Lance is still standing in the same place with the phone to his ear. Tears are running down his face, and his Altean marks are buzzing so loud in his ears. His heart is pounding in his ribcage and ice cold sorrow runs through his veins..

He sends a long text to Keith with shaky hands.

Message delivered...

Now, exactly 3 months since that little incident, Lance sits alone in his home. In his childhood bedroom he can’t seem to rearrange because he’s still holding out hope that one day he’ll turn back time and be his child self and get a redo on his life. But hey, it’s better this way. After the whole dilemma with Pidge, Hunk tried to call Lance to help but ended up getting his feelings hurt. Yep. By Lance. Because Lance is a big jerk and can’t stop hurting everyone around him.

So he hasn’t talked to Pidge or Hunk since then. Mostly out of guilt and shame because those two are supposed to be his bestest friends and he hurt them. Nothing he could say or do could make up for his selfish mind and stupid mouth. Lance had this whole plan to go to Shiro about it, to get his advice so Lance could make it all better.

But Pidge being Pidge.. texted the whole thing in their group chat and.. well.. everyone saw it. Shiro, Hunk, Matt, even Keith possibly! It got so bad that Lance’s phone kept going off with alerts from everyone asking what happened and what he said. Curtis tried calling him and left a few messages. Shiro left him a long voicemail. And of course the word traveled so fast that it reached New Altea and Coran got involved. Which caused Romelle to be involved, too. She gossiped to Acxa, who told her girlfriend, who happens to be Lance’s sister, Veronica. Veronica blabbed to Rachel, who blabbed to Marco, who blabbed to Luis.. who blabbed to Lance’s dad.. WHO BLABBED TO LANCE’S MOM. And boy did she have some interesting words for him in the SEVEN, LONG voicemails asking exactly ‘what happened’and ‘why The Holt siblings were so angry with him.’

Everything escalated so fast. Lance can’t even remember what he said. Or why he said it. Since the war ended, it’s been so hard on him. Sure, it’s been hard on everyone, but for Lance it’s been different. Everyone looks up to him for some reason and expects him to do so good and be the hero they all think he is, when in reality? He was just a leg…

Exactly what did he gain from being a paladin of voltron anyway?? Get banged up and bruised almost everyday he was out there? Have people on his case, constantly reminding him how unimportant he was to the team? Pointing out all of his flaws and mistakes and focusing on those when there’s a million other good things he’s done that towers over all the bad shit?? Sure, he returned home to his family who he literally missed and cried for every single day, but he lost the love of his life in the process.

To put it all out there, Lance didn’t really gain anything. He got to travel through space, which was his dream since he was a little kid, and then space chewed him up and spit him out as some fake hero with PTSD and other trauma that will haunt him for the rest of his pathetic life.

So.. these past 3 months.

Lance has been sitting up in his childhood room.

Wishing he could use the power of Altea or something to turn back time.

And be his younger self.

His innocent self.

His happier self.

Back when he wasn’t so fucked up and had dreams and goals.

Back when everyone was proud of him.

Back to when he didn’t know who Allura was or that she even existed. Back to when Voltron didn’t exist either and everything was fucking fine.

Staring up at his ceiling, Lance counts the glow in the dark stars that he’s had up there since he was six years old. Somehow they’re still glowing and Lance is thankful for that because at 3 in the morning when the world is fast asleep and everything is pitch black, he could use the light.

It comforts him. Reminds him of a simpler, more happier time in his life.

Something sharp digs through Lance’s chest as he stares at those fake neon stars, and it hurts really bad. His breathing begins to quicken, matching the beat of his heart, and a lump finds its way up his throat. Tears pool in the rim of his eyes and spill down the corners, streaming down the sides of his face.

And they don’t stop. The stars get blurrier as Lance’s breathing gets heavier. His body begins to tremble with every hiccup of a sob that pours out of him and he’s crying so hard that his brain throbs in his head.

He curls in on himself in his bed and wraps his arms around his torso, crying uncontrollably into his space themed pillow. His Altean marks begin to buzz and glow and he can’t bring himself to care because all he wants to do is disappear.

Disappear from this game called life.

He types a text to Keith with teary eyes and a quivering bottom lip.

Message.. deleted…

As 3 in the morning turns to 4, a pod lands in the grass just a couple yards away from Lance’s farm. Boot covered feet step out of said pod and touch the wet grass waiting for them. It’s still dark out and the only light visible are the fireflies that buzz around a pair of cowboy booted feet. Those booted feet begin to walk, carrying a tall, broad, raven haired stranger up a hill to Lance’s home. The frogs and crickets seem to grow louder as the stranger in black cowboy boots makes their way to the front porch and pulls back the creaky screen door to a cold, locked doorknob. A set of keys are pulled out and a specific blue key is pushed inside the lock, turning and unlocking the door. The stranger walks in and is instantly met.. with..

Crying??

“H-Hello??” The stranger calls out. “Lance?”

The crying stops.

It’s dead quiet..

The door shuts on its own and the echo around the house is eery.

Light footsteps descend the stairs and before they know it, the stranger is being tackled to the ground in a bear hug.

“Ah-! Lance!?” They yell as the duffel bag from their hand falls to the ground.

“Keith!!” Lance yells out, voice rasped from endless crying.

Keith can immediately hear it and wraps his arms around Lance so tight, holding him close. His eyes glow yellow, something that usually happens out of fear, anger, or protectiveness, and his lips protrude to make way for his double set of fangs that are ready to bite any and everyone.

“Lance!” Keith tries to sit up but is pinned to the ground with all of Lance’s dead body weight. “Lance, honey, are you hurt? What’s wrong??”

A hand through curly brown locks and Lance’s crying dies down. He snuggles his face into Keith’s neck and hiccups through a response. Something too incoherent for Keith to make out, but he feels it has something to do with why he was told to go home ASAP.

A few weeks ago, Keith was contacted by Acxa via video chat. They talked and caught up for a few minutes before Acxa told Keith the real reason for her call. She explained that Veronica was having a tough time reaching out to Lance and that he might be in some kind of trouble. Not knowing the full extent of the story, Acxa only told Keith what she heard from Veronica and others. Fearing the worst, Keith packed up his shit and set a course for Earth as fast as he could.

Unfortunately, there were some setbacks on his way over where he had to make a few stops to tend to aliens in need because after all, that’s still his job as a blade member, but when that got finished, Keith hightailed it over. His Galra instincts wouldn't allow him to stay away for much longer anyway and having accepted his galra side a long time ago, it would have been best for everyone to let him go home.

Keith now lays in Lance’s bed, every inch of Lance’s body wrapped up around him like a snake. Keith strokes Lance’s hair soothingly and holds him close to his chest, right over his beating heart. A deep, soothing purr emits itself from Keith’s body and calms Lance’s nerves right down to the bone. Keith knows how much Lance adoreshis Galran features and at this point, Keith would do absolutely anything for Lance to feel better.

They talked about everything that happened and are now in the cuddle stage. Lance has his eyes shut, listening to Keith purr just for him. Long limbs wrapped around every inch of his boyfriend while Keith’s long nails scratch at his scalp, life is so good.

Life is so good with Keith around.

“So,” Keith says, voice as calm as ever. “What exactly did Pidge say?”

“Oh,” Lance answers, his voice quiet as a mouse. “You didn’t see the messages in the group chat?”

“No.” Keith shrugs, laying his cheek against Lance’s forehead. “Been kinda busy.. And I actually don’t understand how a group chat works.”

That rises a chuckle out of Lance as he sits up a bit to reach for his phone on the bedside dresser.

“Idiot,” he whispers with a small smile on his face and it makes Keith light up, his purring becoming a bit louder.

Lance lays back on Keith’s chest as he scrolls through the messages on his phone. When he finds the message from Pidge, Lance clears his scratchy throat and sniffs.

“From Pidgeotto,” he starts, looking at Pidge’s name in their ✨Paladudes✨ group chat. “Just an FYI lance is a.. a total fucking jackass and I am no longer friends with him..”

Keith immediately frowns at that.

Lance continues. “He can suck my big toe for all I care. I’m done with him. Have fun being a lonely loser @LanceyPants.”

“What the fuck?” Keith says, eyes glowing yellow in the dark room. “Why would she say that!?”

Lance shakes his head, tears forming in his eyes again. “Because she was right. I am a jackass..”

“Lance, no!” Keith sits up, bringing Lance with him. They sit side by side as Lance holds himself and looks down at his space blanket. He shrugs once and sniffs.

“Keith, stop,” he says, wiping a tear from his eye. “Look, I said some very hurtful things to her and she lashed out in a perfectly normal way..”

“Normal!?” Keith scoffs, grabbing Lance’s phone and rereading the message again. “Jackass? Loser?? Come on, Lance, she’s completely bullying you and you know it!”

Lance whips around with an angry expression on his face “Because I deserve it!”

The room grows quiet. Keith takes a deep breath and reaches over to grab Lance’s shoulders.

“Calm.” He says, taking a deep breath for Lance to mimic. Lance takes a deep breath with him and lets it out. Keith begins to purr again and it calms Lance even more.

“I.. Sorry..”

Keith nods. He reaches up to cup Lance’s cheek and rubs his thumb across Lance’s tear stained eye.

“You know I would never hurt anyone on purpose..” Lance sniffs. “That’s not who I am. I’m just.. I’m tired of being this symbol of everything strong and good and brave.”

“Mhm,” Keith rubs Lance’s back, leaning in closer to him to nuzzle his forehead. Lance nuzzles back and Keith’s purrs.

“I keep.. I keep hurting everyone I care about..” Lance whispers in a voice so low and fragile, it nearly shatters Keith’s heart.

“That’s not true.” Keith pulls back a little to look into Lance’s teary blue eyes. “Lance, you are the most incredible, selfless, honest person I’ve ever known. You are strong and good and brave even if you don’t mean to be. Or want to be.”

Lance pulls away and stares at his hands. Keith keeps his eyes focused on Lance.

“I know you think you hurt that fangirl from a few months ago.” Keith continues. “Or Pidge. Or Hunk. Or your parents or friend or family or whoever, but you could never hurt anyone.”

“Yeah, right,” Lance shakes his head. “I already did. I hurt everyone.”

“And even if that’s true,” Keith grabs Lance’s hands in his own, “which it’s not, you’re not doing it on purpose. You have a right to your own feelings! And you have a right to speak your mind.”

“And what if that hurts people??” Lance looks up and meets teary eyes to indigo ones. “What if I accidentally hurt my mama or my sisters or brothers, or nieces and nephews because I can’t be who they want me to be, who they think I am!?”

“Lance,” Keith shakes his head.

“What if I hurt you???” Lance’s eyes go wide. He looks Keith up and down and exhales a panicked breath. “God, Keith.. wh-what if I hurt you??”

“Oh, Lancey,” Keith sighs that lovey-dovey sigh where his eyes go all big and black like a cat’s, and the purr in his chest gets louder. “You’ve never hurt me. Ever.”

Lance stares into Keith’s eyes like they’re his lifeline.

“B-but.. but what if-?”

“No more what if’s!” Keith cuts Lance off by covering his mouth with his hand. “Listen to me, Lance. Are you listening??”

Lance nods repeatedly.

“Good,” Keith smiles, all crooked and cute and beautiful. “The only person you ever need to worry about hurting is yourself.”

And there it is. The one thing Lance has been dying to hear without knowing he’d been dying to hear it. It’s like a breath of fresh air, or cool rain on a hot and sweaty day. The permission he needed but didn’t really need. He has a right to care about himself and put himself first but whenever he tries, the guilt eats him alive. Why should he care about himself when he has to care more about others???

No. That’s not the case. It’s never been the case.

“You’ve gotta stop doing this to yourself,” Keith finishes, stroking the endless sea of tears that are falling from Lance’s eyes. He strokes Lance’s glowing Altean marks and leans forward to kiss one softly. Lance trembles slightly, closing his eyes to bask in the moment.

“I’m sure Pidge has gotten over it by now,” Keith reassures. “She just has too much pride to make the first more and apologize. You know how she is.”

“Y-Yeah,” Lance hiccups, nodding.

“And Hunk?” Keith scoffs. “I bet your mailbox is full of letters from him, explaining how sorry he is and hoping you’re doing alright. You know if he can’t reach you from your phone, he has other ways.”

That makes Lance smile.

“There’s probably cookies on the way right now.” He looks into Keith’s eyes, exhaling a small laugh.

“Oh, yeah,” Keith agrees, laughing that angelic laugh and showing off his perfect pearly fangs. Lance’s heart skips a fucking beat.

“And your fangirl?” Keith’s purring stops. “Well, she never should have gotten all up in your space that’s for sure. You had every right to punch her.”

“Keith!” Lance squeaks, face contorting into shock and confusion. “I-I didn’t punch her!”

“Really?” Confusion etches itself all over Keith’s features and he puts a finger to his chin. “I could have sworn I read that in your text.”

“No way, man!” Lance defends, waving his arms around. “Why would I ever in my life-!” He stops mid sentence to see the shit-eating grin plastered on Keith’s face.

“Just kiddin, lil lady,” Keith says in his best southern accent, smiling big and wide.

Lance bursts out into a fit of laughter, hitting Keith’s chest and arms and back. Keith shields himself and laughs, grabbing Lance’s arms and bringing him down onto the mattress. They fall back with Keith looming over Lance, his long raven hair surrounding their faces.

Lance stares up into those beautiful, indigo eyes and sniffs, unable to look away. He reaches up and cups Keith’s face, rubbing his thumb over Keith’s Galran stripe.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?” Keith asks in his softest voice, eyes roaming from Lance’s teary blue eyes to his luscious lips.

“Yes,” Lance nods, not even bothering to blink because if he does, he’ll miss Keith’s everything.

“Don’t let anyone get you down, my sweetheart.” Keith whispers, leaning in closer. “Ever.”

Lance nods.

“And if they do,” Keith’s face turns serious, indigo eyes going dark. “I’ll bite their throats out and hand them to you on a silver platter.”

“Keith,” Lance exhales, going red in the face and ears. “Holy shit, you can’t just say things l-like that.”

Keith’s hard demeanor falls as he giggles and leans in close. Before they close the gap between their lips, Lance whispers, “And hey. I thought pet names were my thing?”

And Keith kisses him to shut him up.

They kiss like they haven’t seen each other in years and it’s the greatest Lance has ever felt. Keith kisses like he’s starving for it, craving it so much more than air and it’s hot and powerful and so, so damn good.

Lance wraps his arms and legs around Keith’s body and kisses him back with fervor. He allows Keith to make him feel better, and kisses his pain away. Keith pulls away slowly, licking into Lance’s mouth before he does so. Lance lets out a small groan and smiles before he opens his eyes.

“I love you,” he whispers, tucking some hair behind Keith’s ear.

“I love you, more,” Keith whispers back, settling himself between Lance’s legs. “Feeling any better?”

“A little,” Lance looks away, sniffling a little. His eyes focus back to Keith’s and a small smile appears on his kiss swollen lips. “But I know a great way you can make me feel all the way better.”

“Oh, yeah,” Keith smirks, burying his face into Lance neck to start kissing slowly. “And what’s that?”

Lance giggles like a little kid, running his hands up and down Keith’s sides. When Keith pulls back, he trails his kisses up the side of Lance’s face and stops at his Altean mark.

“Make love to me,” Lance whispers, rubbing his nose against Keith’s. “Touch me all over and hold me until the sun comes up and just.. love me. Please..”

Keith’s face softens into something full of love and adoration. He moves forward to peck Lance’s lips, then his chin, and then his other Altean mark.

“Anything you want, my sweet..” he kisses Lance’s cheek. “Beautiful..” he kisses Lance’s jaw. “Amazing.. wonderful..”

“Alright, enough!” Lance laughs, slapping Keith in the back. His cheeks are on fire as he closes his eyes when Keith starts nibbling on his neck with his fangs. A chill runs down Lance’s spine and tingles to his toes, making them curl.

Keith sits up one last time and stares at Lance like he’s the world.

“I’ll take good care of you, baby.” He says with the utmost truth in his sultry voice. “I promise. We’re in this together.”

“Yeah,” Lance nods, letting his tears fall down his face and glowing Altean marks. “Together.”

And as Keith kisses Lance so lovingly, Lance can’t help but be glad that he can’t turn back time to be his younger self. Because with Keith around, he feels all the happiness in the whole world just like he did when he was young.

-END-

(send me a klangst prompt)

[ignis-scientia-estrogen-brigade]

~ISEB in Japan: A Photo Journal~

If you’ve been following me on Twitter lately, you’ll know that I’ve been traveling through parts of Japan the last couple of weeks with my Ignis Play Arts Kai figure in tow. I posted a few pictures over there during the duration of my trip, but those barely scratched the surface of everything I got to do while in Japan. So I thought I’d put together a blog post of my journey while it was still fresh in my mind, featuring everyone’s favorite strategist in what I’ve been dubbing my Great Final Fantasy XV Adventure of 2019!

[Image-heavy content + commentary under the cut]

A brief backstory: I’ve wanted to go to Japan my entire adult life. For years, I’ve watched friends make the trek while I’ve been stuck at home with a severe case of FOMO. The only thing that ever stopped me from going was money (or a lack thereof), so I made the decision last summer to buckle down and sock away every dime I made to make it happen. My only concern before hopping on the plane was that I had missed the wave of FFXV popularity by about a year, but I would quickly learn that—other than not getting to eat any of Ignis’ recipes at the Square Enix Cafe—I had little to worry about.

Literally the only reason I brought my Play Arts Kai figure was so I could take this picture of Ignis at the Citadel (a.k.a. the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building), which was the very first place I stopped at on my first full day in Tokyo. The building + the surrounding plaza, while not 100% accurate, is a fairly impressive facsimile of the one in the game. It’s located in Shinjuku, which also boasts a lot of similarities to Insomnia. Having finished Episode Ardyn mere hours before jetting off on my trip, it felt like I had stepped off the plane and right into the game!

There just so happened to be an Animate right near the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building, so I popped in to get a feel for what kind of FFXV merch I’d be able to find two years after the game’s release and a year after its height of popularity. Turns out, there was quite a lot of swag to be found! Truth be told, I’ve never been one to chase down official merchandise (unfortunately my job doesn’t really afford that luxury), but I gave myself special permission while on vacation to buy anything I wanted. So I did! Including everything you see above. ^^;;

The next thing I did was take the train to Ginza to meet Lyle/@landscape-gonna  (@landscape_gonna on Twitter), and I simply cannot say enough nice things about her. If you don’t know who she is, there’s a 99.9% chance you’ve seen at least one of her Ignis costumes, and they are A. M. A. Z. I. N. G. We had chatted a bit previously on Twitter before I went full-on stan mode, asking her if she'd be willing to meet up with me (a total stranger) to have lunch and talk Ignis and Final Fantasy. Not only did she say yes, but she gifted me with copies of her incredible cosplay zines and was not the least embarrassed when I busted out my Play Kai Arts figure in the middle of a busy Japanese dessert restaurant haha.

See? Zero embarrassment here.

We even did Noct’s ultimate pose! In public!

I can’t begin to articulate how special meeting Lyle was for me—being brought together from opposite sides of the world to share in our love for Ignis/FFXV is a memory I will cherish my entire life. So Lyle, if you are reading this: どうもありがとうございます ! ٩( ᐛ )( ᐖ )۶

Lyle wasn't the only friend I had in Japan. Another friend of mine, Asuka (who happens to be well-versed in anime/video game culture), volunteered to be my guide through Ikebukuro/Otome Road the next day. Quick otaku lesson: Kbooks is a chain of stores that specializes in the resale of licensed merchandise. For example, if you missed out on some of the limited availability items from the Movic and the Square Enix Cafe collaborations, you might be able to find them at a Kbooks. Otome Road in particular has something like seven different Kbook shops in a 3-block radius, each one specializing in different products (sports anime, idols, cosplay, etc). I, of course, beelined for the video game shop...

...which is where I found this fucking thing:

I’m not gonna lie, I almost bought it. I just didn’t know what I would do with it besides scare the living daylights out of people when they least expected it lol.

Yoooo Adam I found ya boi in Ikebukuro

We popped into the cosplay Kbooks shop since it was right across the street and I found an Ignis costume for sale! Please enjoy this picture of me pretending to come up with a new recipeh (since this is likely the closest I’ll ever come to cosplaying as Ignis).

One of the things Asuka introduced me to was Hanami (picnic under the cherry blossoms, basically). I had timed my trip to coincide with the blooming of the sakura, and the experience of being in Japan during that time was indescribable. I took a bajillion pictures of the sakura while I was there and unfortunately none of my photos ever quite captured the beauty and magic of them in person, but here’s a lil’ pic of a tree in bloom at Yoyogi Park (with the Movic Ignis charm I bought at Kbooks earlier that day).

Another item on my Japan checklist was to stay at a ryokan (traditional Japanese inn) in Hakone, a town famous for its onsen/hot springs. Nothing in Hakone is cheap (at least, not during peak sakura season), and I had spent an absurd amount of money on a night at one particular ryokan with a private bath (shy husband haha). The private bath could only be reserved in 30-minute increments, and by the time we finally rolled into Hakone the bath we wanted only had one slot available for the rest of the night. So what did I do?

If you said, “Waste the first 15 minutes of your 30-minute, super-expensive onsen experience taking the perfect Ignis-in-a-hot-springs photo” then you would be absolutely correct lol.

I actually wasn’t planning on taking a bunch of photos of my Ignis figure on this trip, but after my husband tucked Ignis into my futon while I was in the bathroom, documenting my trip vicariously through Ignis ended up taking on a life of its own. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I popped back over to Tokyo after my stay in Hakone, which is when I finally got to make the Great Nerd Pilgrimage™ to the Square Enix Cafe! Had the FFXV collab been going on while I was there, I might’ve forked over the cash to eat at the cafe, but I opted to skip out on lunch so I could spend more money in their shop. They still had a small collection of FFXV merch...

...including this acrylic Ignis stand that I wanted but thought I would never own after failing to find it at Kbooks earlier in the week. Huzzah!

Also, I just feel the need to let everyone know that this is what the outside of the Square Enix Cafe in Tokyo looks like lmao.

Our next stop was Kyoto, which we arrived in on Gladio’s birthday (April 2nd). Unfortunately I didn’t have time to draw anything for his b-day, but we did stop for a Nissin Cup Noodle in honor of Gladio!

One of the most memorable moments of my trip was when this boating incident happened, and it requires a little bit of backstory. On my first full day in Kyoto, I attempted to field two of the most popular tourist destinations in Kyoto: the bamboo forest in Arashiyama, and the Fushimi Inari Shrine. Both places have their beauty and historical significance, and I suspect during the off-season are inspiring sites to behold. In my case, both places were absolutely swarming with tourists, which really put a damper on my enjoyment of them. Defeated, I followed a local canal back toward my hotel, which is where I spotted a miniature boat enthusiast controlling a boat that looked eerily similar to the Royal Vessel. I pulled my Ignis figure out with the intention of simply taking a photo of the boat in the background; when the man saw me holding my figure and fumbling with my phone, he flagged me over and gestured for me to put Ignis in the boat. I wish I had documented how it all went down a little better, but as I was literally wheezing with laughter, the above was the best I could capture.

One of the more off-the-cuff decision I made was to dress in kimono for a day while in Gion (Kyoto). As the cherry blossoms were at their height during my stay there, you couldn’t sneeze without hitting someone who was dressed traditionally for the numerous festivals that were taking place throughout the city. As a white foreigner, I initially had reservations about wearing a kimono (for fear of cultural appropriation), but I did everything I could to be as respectful and reverent whilst wearing the garb (and the rental shop was certainly happy for the patronage). It was an amazing experience and I would definitely do it again!

Speaking of being respectful, I made it a point not to take pictures of Ignis while visiting any shrines (because nothing screams ‘douchey American’ quite like whipping out an action figure on sacred grounds), hence why I don’t have pictures of any of the major shrines we visited in this post. I did, however, spot this miniature shrine arch in an alleyway, and thought it would be okay for my equally miniature strategist to pay his respects.

Literally, a tiny shrine in an alleyway. I suppose even alleys have their deities!

Osaka is about 20 minutes away from Kyoto by train, and since I had already traveled all the way out to Kyoto, I went the extra few miles to stop by the Square Enix Cafe in Osaka. They actually had a smaller selection of FFXV merch than the one in Tokyo and I didn’t end up buying anything, but I would’ve never stopped wondering if I had missed out on something if I hadn’t gone and seen it for myself!

My last day in Kyoto was a week into my trip, and I still had five days left to go. After walking ~10 miles every day (no joke, I have the GPS screenshots to prove it!), I was really starting to feel the grind. I’m sure Ignis was also desperate for an Ebony after being lugged around in the bottom of my purse for a week lol.

Back on the Shinkansen (bullet train) to Tokyo!

Weeeeeee (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

Said hi to Fuji-san!

Stopped for a delicious matcha parfait! (Shout-out to my husband who never once got annoyed with me whenever I busted out my figure in public spaces lol)

This was without a doubt the craziest and most unexpected find of any of my merch runs. I had gone to the video game Kbooks in Ikebukuro earlier in the week and had sifted through all their Ignis merch with a fine-toothed comb. This particular Movic charm was one I had been on the lookout for, but it was a rare pull even when they were readily available a year ago, and the only Ignis charm I came across in my first trip to Kbooks was the normal Ignis one (see my Hanami pic). I had no real reason to return to Ikebukuro after I got back from Kyoto, but on a whim I went one last time and BAM—this guy was hanging out there in his lil’ baggie, just waiting for me to get my grubby little hands on him. Jackpot!

All in all, I spent way too much money and I couldn’t be happier for it. The only thing I couldn’t find for the life of me was the Ignis cologne by Movic, but after searching through several Animates and Kbooks, I began to suspect it might be an online-exclusive item that wasn’t available in stores. (Which was probably a good thing for me cause I was already stretching my budget to the limit by this point haha.)

On my last night in Japan, I went back to the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building—only this time I went at night when it was all lit up! I also went up to the observation deck on the 45th floor (something I didn’t know you could do the first time I was there) and enjoyed a fantastic view of nighttime Insomnia Tokyo. It was the perfect bookend to a perfect trip, and my heart is absolutely overflowing right now with love for both Japan and Final Fantasy XV!

[jungnoir]

Can I please request this prompt “Hi, I saw on your dating profile that the only criteria you judge potential suitors on is whether they’re a dog or cat person…?” additionally, “You’re pretty cute so I’ll give you a pass if you pick the wrong answer.” with Seokmin because he just loves dogs!!! So Much!!!

the barkchelor;

lee seokmin | “Hi, I saw on your dating profile that the only criteria you judge potential suitors on is whether they’re a dog or cat person…?” additionally, “You’re pretty cute so I’ll give you a pass if you pick the wrong answer.” | 1.8k words. | fluff, humor.

a/n: to celebrate the oh my! comeback, here’s a lil something sweet I’ve been saving! and yeah. I stole the title from a try guys video.

You didn’t consider yourself particularly “bad at dating” (could you do so without being biased? …well…). However, it became pretty clear when all the possible suitors at your job were a bust and finding someone on the weekends ended with a very superficial goal in mind that love was just…. incredibly evasive. And only for you, it seemed.

You were at a place in your life where you felt stable in everything; in fact, the only thing you could think of that was missing in your life was someone special. You liked being single because it was freeing, but you couldn’t help but long for someone’s hand in yours when you’d take a stroll on the town, couldn’t help but imagine someone’s arms wrapping around your waist while you prepared a semi-edible dinner, couldn’t help but lay awake in bed sometimes and think about how much you’d love to have someone curled up against your back fast asleep.

So, after a few drinks and a marathon of rom-coms to leave you more than a little romance-horny, you turned to a dating app.

You weren’t going to lie, the first week on there was hell.

Every single person you wanted to match with either didn’t match with you or turned out to be extremely gross when it came down to the actual “getting to know each other” part. You would dedicate at least a small part of your day to looking through profiles like your friends had recommended, but if anything, your success in finding someone even slightly your type went further down.

But, like all things, the best part can come when you least expect it. For you, it was right before you were going to delete your profile.

Most of the people you saw on here were usually mean-mugging the camera or posing far too stiffly to be realistic, so when you were met with a photo of a chocolate poodle staring right at you, big dark eyes practically begging for you to swipe right, you were puzzled. It was currently midnight, you were struggling to keep your eyes open, and you may have possibly found the best suitor on this entire app… and he wasn’t even human. Underneath the poodle’s picture was the name “Seokmin” followed by his age, “21″.

It was only when you started to click through the other pictures provided that you realized that the poodle was not Seokmin (as a much more sober and well-rested mind would have told you). “Seokmin” turned out to be a guy with a smile that lit up your phone screen and stilled you in your tracks. Dark colored hair laid neatly on top of his head, parted to the side to nicely frame his face. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor with a large dog laid across his lap looking like it was having the time of its life, and if you could tell anything by the faint pink lines running down the insides of his arm, that big dog must’ve been a handful. The same poodle that had caught your eye in the beginning was seated next to him in the photo, licking at one of the scratches that it might’ve had some help in causing.

Out of the six pictures he provided, only one of them was without any four-legged companions swarming him, and most of the ones that did have pups in them featured the same chocolate poodle somewhere in the background.

Eyes drifting down to his bio, you were dumbstruck again. He didn’t mention any hobbies, didn’t include a witty joke like most guys on the site, or list any of the things he was looking for in a partner except one.

Dog or cat person? Choose wisely.

You blink at the short and incredibly cryptic bio, your forehead wrinkling while your brain brims with confusion… and curiosity.

Hell. What could you lose?

Swiping right, you blink when you realize that the two of you have matched. You see the option to contact him. You know in your mind (somewhere) that you should save doing such a thing for later, but… it was midnight and you didn’t have anywhere near the patience to wait that long.

By the time you’re actually in his messages, your mind is on auto-pilot. You have a plan to send him something quickly and head to bed, probably to wake much later and delete the app when you find that even this cute but slightly strange guy is somehow, someway, a weirdo. You had long since abandoned your bad pick-up lines and jokes, the excitement and hope to find someone having died down exponentially by the time seven days had gone by. Besides, the guy had given you something to start with.

You sent:

hi, I saw on your dating profile that the only criteria you judge potential suitors on is whether they’re a dog or cat person…?

You stare at your message with the very last bit of energy you have, checking for any spelling or grammatical errors, but there is nothing to really worry about. That, or maybe you’re too tired to be able to tell. Whatever it might be, you can set your phone down and let yourself succumb to the warm caresses of sleep with ease.

Until you wake two and a half hours later, your phone vibrating against the back of your skull mercilessly.

You blearily look around the darkness of your room, thankful that it’s at least a Saturday and that you don’t have work in three and a half hours, because otherwise you might have pelted your phone across the room in annoyance.

Carefully fishing the offending device from behind your head, you hold the brightly shining phone away from your face a few inches as to not blind yourself. You realize that you hadn’t hooked it up to the charger, a habit of yours that came only when sleep captured you before you could think to do so. You try to think of the last thing you’d done to be awoken like this. That is, until you see three new messages on your screen from the dating app you were supposed to delete earlier.

Seokmin sent:

That is correct! Sorry for the late reply, I just got home from my friend’s place.

You’re pretty cute so I’ll give you a pass if you pick the wrong answer.

:)

Were you… was he serious right now?

You push yourself up from the sheets of your bed, flipping on your lamplight to stare at the texts more closely. Sure enough, he definitely really sent you those.

A small, disbelieving laugh leaves your mouth as you think of what to say. There isn’t much to him in your mind yet. He’s a cute guy, he apparently thinks you’re cute, he seems to know a lot of dogs, and… well, that’s it. If he wasn’t so handsome and you hated dogs, you would have definitely swiped left, no questions asked.

Also, what was up with “wrong answer”?

You sent:

there’s a wrong answer? sounds pretty biased

also, it’s pretty clear which answer is correct given your affinity for the canine population

Seokmin sent:

Welllll, the question is are ~you~ a dog or cat person, not me.

Don’t mind my preference :)

You couldn’t quite fathom why you bothering to have this conversation, especially seeing as it was 2:36 a.m. for the both of you and you were as in your right mind as a rubber duck right now… that didn’t even make sense, you were so not in your right mind right now. But hey, did that stop you?

You sent:

alright, I’ll play

dog person. and this is a completely honest answer, by the way

Seokmin sent:

Could I humbly request a photo of a dog you’ve met? It would be even better if you were in the photo

You sent:

you do realize how weird you sound, right

Seokmin sent:

Hey, you’re a stranger. How do I know you’re not just lying about being a dog person to get me to like you?

You sent:

weren’t you the one who liked my profile first?

Seokmin sent:

…you have a point

So no pup photo then?

You sent:

(image.jpg)

the pup in my lap is named skittles and he’s my friend’s dog who i’ve been strategically trying to kidnap for three months

Seokmin sent:

Adorable

You sent:

ikr? he’s the sweetest

Seokmin sent:

😅 Actually, I was talking about you

but

Skittles is a runner-up for sure

You heart lightly skips in your chest at his response, your lip immediately being sucked between your teeth to nibble. Before you can think up a smart reply which might have taken you all night to formulate, Seokmin is sending something else.

Seokmin sent:

(image.jpg)

I saved this photo of me and Coco for anyone who struck my interest enough, so here you go. Consider it a thank you for your pic :)

You stare at the photo, unable to even admire the adorable poodle in his arms when he is right there. You weren’t one to be quickly drawn in by someone’s looks, but this Seokmin guy… he was an exception. Right off the bat, you’d already thought him attractive, but after having talked to him, that thought was hammered ever deeper into your sleep-deprived mind.

You sent:

Pretty handsome

Seokmin sent:

Coco?

Oh

Wait

I see what you did there 😅

You sent:

:)

i think your smiley faces are rubbing off on me

Seokmin sent:

People say my smile in real life is contagious too

You sent:

we should test that theory one day

but first

i’d like to know more about you, mr. dog person

Seokmin sent:

Shouldn’t you be sleeping? I don’t want to keep you up…

No, perhaps a little while ago you might’ve agreed with him. You would have wished him goodnight because realistically, he’d be there in the morning when you woke up. But, maybe you were possessed, because you never felt more awake than right now.

You sent:

i’m not tired. are you?

Unlike before, Seokmin takes a while to reply. You know that you shouldn’t be upset if he’s honest and tells you he’s pooped and he’ll talk to you later, but the thought that he might makes your mood slightly deflate. You hadn’t had such a nice conversation with a guy like this in a long time, an embarrassingly long time actually. As impatient as it sounded, you weren’t very excited to let this spark of curiosity die as soon as it was ignited.

You begin to twiddle your thumbs as one minute turned into two, two turned into three, and then it happened.

Your phone vibrates in your lap.

Seokmin sent:

I couldn’t be more awake.

And hi, I’m Seokmin. It’s nice to meet you formally :)

You sent:

hi, Seokmin. I’m (Y/N). It’s nice to meet you too :) so, besides dogs, what else are you into?

So yeah, you didn’t consider yourself particularly “bad at dating”. You considered yourself “waiting for a Seokmin to come along”, and boy was it worth it.

[cafephan]

meeting dan and phil - the full experience (7/5/18)

firstly, i’ll put this under a read more bc it could be a long old post

before we get into things i’d just like to thank @phangirlingforphan for being my rock throughout the entire day and coping with my many meltdowns, but here we go:

so i won’t bore you with the pre-build up (though if you follow me on twitter you’ll have seen it lmao), i’ll cut to when we arrive at the venue - dead on 2:30 which is the earliest we should’ve arrived, and the queue is already huge, so we were near the back, namely because i couldn’t get my makeup right and made us late leaving my friend’s flat – fifteen minutes than I ideally wanted to leave, because i wanted to be early, that’s a thing that happens a lot but anyway

we queue for a good ten minutes – during which time marianne is stood in the window just staring at us all and we’re just staring back like what’s good are you going to tell us why we’re not allowed in yet or

eventually we start being allowed in and all get wristbands (the attendant saw my wristband I bought when I saw the vamps last month and was like “ah I love the vamps I saw them the other day in birmingham!” which actually did wonders for my nerves for a while which were already in overdrive despite lily’s many many attempts to calm me down

so then we go down about eight flights of stairs and get directed into a big room (you saw it on dan and phil’s insta stories, the room with the dancefloor) and the tables that are set out are all already filled (because we were at the back of the queue) and the sweets that were set out were all on this one table that had about nine people around it and I’m 99% sure they stole them all which was sad bc sweets would’ve actually really helped me, but alas they were all gone so I was like fine whatever and we went and stood near the back of the room and I was tweeting like mad trying to calm myself down and distract myself because not only was it the hottest fucking day of the year I was also about to meet my absolute favourite people, the people that were, for a long time, the only source of happiness I had, and I was freaking the fuck out, and my face was practically glowing bc I was so warm, and the bottle of cooling spray I bought that morning was doing fucking nothing to help me and the room itself was boiling bc it had no windows.

about fifteen minutes passed and marianne came back around the screen and explained that dan and phil were about two minutes away, and we’d need to queue along the side of the dancefloor and we were allowed a selfie (“that don’t worry, dan will take with his long arms”) and one thing for them to sign, and basically to just have fun with it all – which, I was still freaking the fuck out and could barely stand up (but of course there were no free chairs so I was just stood there on my shaky legs) so literally couldn’t just have fun. 

and then they arrived.

everyone lost their shit, obviously (i filmed their entrance on my twitter, which I’m going to be promoting a fuckton in this post bc it’s where all my content is, and I’m ridiculously active on there and you should follow me @bloggerhowell) and they said something that I couldn’t hear because a) I was at the very back of the room b) my heart was pounding in my ears c) I was still overwhelmingly warm and was so uncomfortable I couldn’t focus on anything and then they disappear behind the screen and 90% of people swarm to queue.

I took advantage of the now empty chairs and went to sit down before I collapsed – whether it’d be from my own anxiety or the heat, I didn’t know, still don’t – and was just dousing myself in this cooling spray and fanning myself but nothing was working, meanwhile lily is holding our place at the back of the queue and keeps looking over to check I’m okay – which I’m not, I could feel my anxiety getting worse with every passing second, but I didn’t want to ruin her experience so waved it off as being generally fine.

Eventually I accept that my face just isn’t going to calm down and my first and only pic with dan and phil I’ll ever have will have me being a glowing tomato face and my self-hatred will intensify every fucking time I look at it, but I joined the queue again nonetheless.

Whilst we were queueing I kept spraying the cooling spray which is doing fucking nothing, and I kept tweeting to distract myself, when it comes to a point where I feel something I haven’t felt in a good few weeks, and immediately my mind starts spiralling and running away with itself because on top of everything else, I can feel myself beginning to have a fucking panic attack. So I immediately start going through all the exercises I learned at therapy (none of which work, but they’re all I had) and start rationalising with myself about the fight and flight response and all that shit, and then I remind myself which two people are now only like twenty or so steps away from me. So I took another step forward and firmly plant my feet on the ground and do more breathing exercises and rationalise with myself that it’ll all be worth it when I get around that screen, despite my glowing tomato face and the fact I’m sweating like a pig (which happens normally, just so much worse in hot weather), and somehow that helps a little. I took another deep breath and tried to focus on something else that’s present in the moment, to ground me.

So I start watching people coming back around the screen that have just met dan and phil, and every single person is fucking bawling their eyes out, which makes me significantly worse. I’ve always known that if I were ever lucky enough to have the chance to meet them, I’d break down in front of them because you know, it’s them (along with many reasons I won’t go into) and somehow seeing everyone else crying makes me like yeah okay so it’s definitely going to happen great

At this point the guy who works at city hall walks down the line and tells us to get our cameras and what we want them to sign out ready for when we meet them, so I get out my tweet collage from the plastic wallet it was in and cling to it for dear life, and it crinkles under my grip which makes me angrier at myself because I wanted to print it out on card but didn’t have time to go and buy any because I’ve been swarmed with uni work and just had no time. So by this point, I’m still borderline panic attack, now hating myself more than usual, and still warm beyond belief.

Lily keeps asking me if I’m okay, which evidently I’m not, but I don’t want to ruin her experience so I nod, until one time I just say “no I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack.”

It’s at this exact second that I hear actual dan howell laugh, because I’m that close to the screen now.

I take a deep breath and grip my paper tighter (then swear under my breath at myself for it) and pin my fringe back – since I don’t need another reason to make myself warmer – and start tweeting again, and this time it’s more of a distraction than it has been before.

I tell lily again that I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack, she tells me I won’t and I’ll surprise myself with how well I’ll do, and that if she can meet them once before and be absolutely fine, then I will be too. I don’t believe her, considering lily is infinitely cooler and more put-together than I am in every way, but I nod and focus on my breathing (and tweeting again)

Now it’s just one group of friends in front of us in the queue, and we’ve been hearing their conversation the whole time, and they’re all so excited, and I watch as one by one they all come back around the other side bawling their eyes out, which makes me take another deep breath and tell myself that now in about a minute, that’ll be me

Then the last person in front of us turns the corner.

Now we’re standing beside Marianne who makes awkward small talk with us:

“are you ready?”

(lily replies for the both of us because I’m genuinely too panicked to speak) “yeah, I think so, it’s just a bit surreal”

“you’ll be fine, don’t worry!”

Lily asks if it’s okay for us to film each other’s experiences and Marianne says yeah of course, and then she turns to me and says “are there any bags you want me to hold for you?”

So I hand her my backpack and tatinof tote bag, and she says “ah, someone was here before then?” and I laugh awkwardly, because my throat has closed up entirely – I can hear dan and phil talking literally three steps away from me – and then Marianne takes a step to the left, nods and then looks back to me

“ready?” she asks, and I don’t even respond, because I’m not, literally not in the slightest. I didn’t have time to rehearse what I wanted to say to dan and phil, I only have a tiny piece of paper for them to sign, I still look like a glowing tomato (despite lily telling me I looked fine) and I just could never prepare for it

“off you go” she holds out her hand to gesture me to go, and so I do.

And there are dan and phil, already smiling at me.

Phil immediately stretches out his arms and says “hello, nice to see you!” and hugs me. By this time, I’ve cracked. I’ve started crying though tears haven’t fell yet, but my voice has gone.

Whilst this is happening, dan leans over to look at me and smiles too – which, as I’m watching the video back right now, he’s got his sweater paws which is making me more emotional – and I hug phil for like two seconds – during which time dan is smiling so widely, I don’t know if he could already sense how nervous and close to crying I was – and then I move in to hug him, and he says “hi there, thank you for coming to see us” and I take a step back genuinely just to stare at them for a second because holy fuck dan and phil have their sole attention on me right now

Phil says “do you want us to sign anything?” to which I say “yes please” – my voice has cracked, keep in mind, there’s no mistaking they know I’m at breaking point tears-wise, but they don’t comment on it, and phil says “of course!”

It’s then that I hand them the tweet collage, and they spend a second or so looking at it before moving in to sign it, during which time I explain:

“It’s basically a tweet collage saying how I was never going to meet you and then I am”

And phil glances at me and smiles – whilst dan is signing it – and says “aw, well look where you are now!” which, honest to god, might be the most meaningful thing I’ve ever heard. It’s obviously me overthinking and making connections that aren’t there because obviously he’s talking about being at the meet and greet when I said I never would, but without going into detail (this is about dnp not me) I’ve gone through a lot of shit in life and have been forced to overcome some really difficult stuff, and to hear those words come from one of the two people that were basically the only constant I had during all of those times just meant the absolute fucking world to me and I really am in such a different place to where I was when I first found them, a better place than I was, and it just meant so much to me

** insert a genuine half an hour break where I just had to go and cry after writing that last paragraph sorry if the tone is different from here on out **

And dan sings “things come true!” whilst phil signs his name

Then I say “can I possibly get a message or… something, I don’t know what, whatever you feel” and phil nods and smiles then sets to writing something at the bottom of the page, and whilst he’s doing that dan says “do you want me to take the selfie for us?” to which I nod and phil takes a step to the side so I can fit in between them

And I say “can you, please?”

And dan looks down at me (keep in mind, I never have people looking down at me, in 95% of situations I’m the tallest person there), smiles and says “of course I can!”

Then – I only just heard this now despite it being my seventy seventh (approximate) time watching the video – dan says “alrighty” in that way he does and flips the camera around

I say “can we take loads in burst, so one might be decent?”

And dan laughs and says “oh yeah, in case I don’t blink in all of them” and phil says “let’s burst it up!”

Then I ask for a hand-holding picture and they’re like yeah of course and so I take their hands – which, by the way, are huge and warm and so soft, like unbelievably soft – then we get into position and dan snaps ten pictures in the space of like three seconds, during which he tries to wink but it happens too fast and in the end I just have about three half-squish-half-derp pictures of dan, and phil goes from smiling to a kind of duckface then smiles again, and I just progressively move my head further to the left – and consequently closer to dan’s shoulder which wasn’t the intention, I just could see out of my peripheral vision they were changing their expressions but I didn’t know what to do so I just moved my head more to the side apparently

And dan giggles – yes, giggles, cutest fucking sound I swear – and holds my phone down (this is on my screen record video, by the way, so I have some amazing shots of like dan’s chin) and he says “awesome! Well thank you so much for watching our videos, we really appreciate it, and phil says “yeah, thank you!” and dan hands me my phone back

At which point I tell myself, Kirsten you’re never going to get this opportunity again, go in for another motherfucking bear hug, which I do

Which is when dan lets out a soft little ‘oof’ sound and then chuckles and says “aw”, and hugs me back a lot tighter than the first time

And whilst I’m moving over to hug phil, dan says “well I hope you have a lovely time at the show tonight”

Phil also hugs me back a lot tighter than the first time, and dan again is smiling whilst I’m hugging phil

And then I say “thank you so much, seriously” and dan says “thank you!”

And as I’m turning to walk away – v v v regrettably, may I add – I’m already cursing myself for not saying any of the things I wanted to say, needed to say to them because I know I’ll never get another chance, lily shouts “Kirsten you need to take my phone!” because I need to film her meeting them so I dash over to get it and dan and phil both laugh and phil says “oh do you need to take her phone?” and then I dash back over to the other side, waving to them as I do, and say “bye then!” more cheerfully then I expected I’d be able to muster, and they smile for a second before turning their attention onto lily and I spend the next minute stood in front of them filming for her

Then we have to unfortunately leave them and get our wristbands cut off and get given our VIP tote bags and the security guard hands me my bags back, and the guy struggles to cut off my wristband because I have the vamps wristband and the standard ii wristband on already and nearly cuts me as he eventually gets it off, and then lily and I walk over to one of the back tables and she starts excitedly texting and calling people and tweeting her pictures and I just… break down.

I’d held it in – somehow – in front of them with the exception of my voice cracking, for all that time, and then was when I let it all out. Lily stopped her phonecall to comfort me, but I was inconsolable for a good two minutes at least, during which time I’d tweeted ‘well… that happened’ and people that knew I was meeting them were tweeting me back asking how it went and asking to see the pictures and the few friends I have were dming me demanding to know how it went and it was all just too much for me so I just kind of collapsed and rested my head on my arms and just let myself weep however much I wanted, I was letting out my anger at the weather, the anxiety that thankfully wasn’t at panic attack level anymore, and the overwhelming sadness that I’d fucked it all up for myself, the one chance I’ll ever have to meet them, and I didn’t fucking say anything or do anything, my mind just went blank and I was too busy putting all my self-will into not crying that I couldn’t make myself remember anything I’d told myself I needed to say

So I tweeted the pictures, people were being really really sweet and kind (thank you if you were one of these people, if you weren’t but you liked my post about it on here then thank you too), but I just couldn’t let myself believe any of it, and I couldn’t bring myself to respond to people’s questions of how it went yet, so I got the tweet collage back out and just wanted to look at their signatures, and then I noticed what phil had written in the bottom corner:

smile :) 

now I don’t know if it was because I put him on the spot to think of something to write or if it’s because he knew how obviously nervous and close to crying I was so left me a message for the future, probably the former but hopefully the latter, it still brought on a fresh wave of tears that I knew I couldn’t have held back if I tried

so once I’d cried over that, I tweeted a picture of it and immediately people started being really sweet once again and people started quote tweeting it saying how soft it was – which it is, obviously – but it will always have that deeper meaning for me, just like aw, well look where you are now! will (hence it being my twitter bio – that @ name again is bloggerhowell *clicks tongue*)

a favourable mention of a tweet reply I got to the collage was someone saying ‘lol you can tell dan wrote it bc of the scrawly writing’ when it was actually phil, he was just resting the paper on my arms whilst he wrote and I was just shaking like a leaf, which I still find p funny

then I realised that I still had my letter, nobody had come around to collect it, so I wiped my eyes (and grimaced when I saw how much of my eyeshadow came off as I did, I didn’t dare to even think of the state of my makeup) and walked up to one of the staff and asked her, and she said she’d go and check, and walked off

so naturally I took the time to take a couple of steps to the left so I could see dan and phil again, and I smiled when I saw the huge smile on the fan they were meeting at that point, deep in conversation, but there was that inevitable chest pang that that could have been me if I hadn’t frozen in place and forgotten how to fucking speak

the staff member came back and said “I can take it for you?” so I handed it to her and walked back over to the table – I don’t know where she took my letter, I didn’t think to look, so she literally could’ve thrown it away right there and then for all I know, even though the letter does have a lot of stuff in I wanted to say but knew I wouldn’t, so if they do someday read it I’ll have fucked up a little less – and took a deep breath and started replying to tweets to pass the time until everyone else met them

when the last person came out from meeting them, everyone kind of stopped talking, and everyone just turned their attention to the screen, and we all waited for dan and phil to step out, which they eventually did (and I filmed it and tweeted it, you know the drill by now) and then they waved at us, said they’d see us later and then left, at which point the staff members immediately started walking over and trying to usher us out but I was like hahahaha no mate not until my ugly ass handwriting is in the guestbook

so I fought my way to the guestbook and picked up the only remaining free pen and waited for someone to give me some room to write my own message – I ended up having to wait nearly three minutes until someone finished writing their essay long message so we could turn the page – and then wrote the most basic thing, but my hand was still shaking and I was still ridiculously warm – then we left and went to get a drink because I needed to rehydrate after crying out everything I had and then we waited until the show

which, by the way, if anyone wants me to do a post about the show (with or without spoilers, but if there are spoilers I’ll make sure to make it really clear don’t worry) then let me know, because I’d be more than happy to!

but yeah that about concludes my meeting with dan and phil, I do regret parts of it massively, I completely choked up and didn’t get to say anything I wanted to, I didn’t get full length individual pictures like I wanted, but it could also have gone a lot lot worse

at the end of the day, for all those two guys have done for me, I owe them my life, and meeting them was wholly indescribable. Should I ever have the opportunity, which I don’t think I ever will, I’ll do it again in a heartbeat, just hopefully as a more put-together, less-panicky and anxious person, less constantly on the brink of tears.

I didn’t get to thank them for the past eight years, I didn’t get to thank them for all they’ve done and continue to do for me, but I got to hug (twice) the people that have kept me going when nothing and nobody else could, and all in all that’s enough.  

[ratandphilgames]

Our Lives Don’t Collide

{chapter 4: in too deep} 

summary: Shit hits the fan when famous actor!Phil is caught smooching a boy in an alleyway. Only problem? He’s not out and what’s worse? The boy he was smooching was a journalist who set it all up to get a quick picture and now Phil is royally screwed. The only answer Phils management can come up with is a fake relationship to try and do damage control and famous actor!Dan is the perfect candidate.

chapter word count: 2478

total word count: 9936

rating: t

note: super thanks to everyone who likes/ reblogs/ sends me a message! the support has been amazing! also huge thanks to all the babes in the writing gc for motivating me to write! ily!

updates on thursdays!

{read on ao3}

{read from the beginning}

{next chapter} 

—–

The 2 boys ended up playing video games for an hour after they decided they’d become friends, which went surprisingly well. They were really just big nerds too tall for their own good, and it showed when they played video games.

Conversation flowed easily, bants were abundant, and afterwhile they both forgot they were there because of their fake relationship, it just felt like hanging out. It’d been a long time since Dan had just hung out with someone who was genuine and didn’t want something from him. At least with Phil he was upfront with what he wanted from Dan, it was all in contract form to keep it clear.

“Wotch your back Daniel, I’m creeping up on you.” Phil yelled as he gripped his controller more intensely.

In any other setting Dan would’ve been frightened by this sentence, but seeing as it was because Dan was currently in first place in an intense game of mario kart 8, it was rather acceptable. They were on the first lap of the animal crossing track, season: autumn, and Dan had already pulled ahead as he spent far too much time playing mario kart in his free time. When you don’t know who you can trust, mario kart will always be there for you.

“Oh are you? ARE YOU?” Dan had a bad habit of getting way too loud when it came to competitions. He was howling in a way that could be deemed offensive had he been playing with a different person, Phil however, just laughed at him as he attempted to catch up.

“Yes! You’re going down!” Phil shrieked, and before Dan even knew what was happening he was hit with a blue shell, effectively knocking him out of his first place position and letting Phil take the lead.

“YOU LITTLE SON OF A PFFT PSH PFT.” Dan was trying not to swear too much, as to leave a good first impression on his fake boyfriend, but goddamn it was hard. He ended up just making random exhales of air as he tried to earn back his spot in first place.

Phil found so much joy in that little blue shell moment, his eyes were lit up and he was laughing like a maniac and just a little part of Dan felt that it was worth letting him win if he got to see him being so happy. The rest of Dan wanted to crush all his hopes and dreams as he destroyed him at mario kart.

They kept up the back and forth game of going between 1rst and 2nd until the third lap when Dan had pretty much established himself as winner in his own eyes. That was until the biggest upset in the history or time when Phil got the bullet on the last corner and won by a very small margin. Needless to say Dan threw his controller and Phil laughed so hard he was snorting.

“I won! Take that, Danny boi!” Phil had stood up on his couch and stared down at Dan in victory.

“Danny boi? Oh god this is embarrassing. Losing mario kart in my own home, to a noob.” Phil was hardly a noob, but Dan liked to tease. He glossed over the fact that he’d earned himself a new nickname, one he’d surprisingly never heard before. After his high school experience with gems such as ‘dick loving dan’ and ‘homo howell’ he’d have thought he’d heard every variation of his name possible, but Phil was constantly coming up with new ways to surprise him.

Mid gloat Phil’s phone started buzzing nonstop and he put a pause on his victory chant to reach down and grab the vibrating device. Phil plopped himself back down onto a seated position as he checked his phone to see who his caller was, as Dan started deciding on the next track they should play.

“Oh, uh, I’ve got to take this, it’s my manager.”

Dan barely looked up as he waved him off to allow him to go answer his phone. As Phil exited the room he could hear a greeting being exchanged and then some whispering. If he tried he could make out the words, but that was wrong, right? Eavesdropping was bad and he shouldn’t do it. Dan maintained that idea until he heard his name spoken and then curiosity got the better of him. He crept quietly, almost spy like towards the entryway of his living room, just far enough that he could better hear, but not too far that it would be unnatural if Phil were to walk back in and see him. Dan was just hanging out on the edge of the couch, nothing weird about that.

“It’s going okay, Liam. He seems cool, everything will be fine.” Phil was pacing back and forth through the hallway, making parts of his sentence quieter than the rest, but the message Dan received was loud and clear in his ears. Phil Lester thought he was cool.

Suddenly all those fanboy feelings Dan had been repressing through the time they spent together were resurfacing as he played those words over and over and over again in his head. All that mumbo jumbo about Phil being just a regular guy flew out the window as Dan heard himself being complimented by one of the most iconic actors of the recent era (and not to mention overall attractive man).

Phil Lester thinks you’re cool.

That was one hell of a confidence booster.

Dan zoned out and missed  the rest of the convo because goddamnit he was cool. Shans advice really worked, he played it cool and it payed off in the end.

As Dan’s brain was still processing the idea that he was cool, he heard Phil’s footsteps and realized he must’ve hung up the phone and was headed back towards the lounge, back to Dan. As this truly hit Dan, he scrambled to seem casual, natural, and cool.

“Hey, I think I’m going to head off soon, manager called my car already.” Phil said as he made his reappearance, seemingly not noticing Dan’s less than usual behavior.

“Okay, cool.”

Fucking hell don’t say cool, that makes it seem like you were eavesdropping.

Dan had been eavesdropping but he didn’t want Phil to know he’d been listening in. Already feeling the effects of guilt for being a sneaky little shit, Dan made sure to avoid meeting Phil’s gaze, although that probably just made him seem even more sketchy.

“Yeah, so, thanks for having me over, and for the whole- ya know, fake boyfriend stuff. Really saved me there.” Phil was fidgeting with his fingers as he stood awkwardly by the lounge entrance, having yet to step back into the room as he knew he’d be leaving soon.

“Oh yeah, sure. No problem, should be fun. Speaking of which, what’s the next thing we need to do?” Dan asked, unsure how to about this thing. They needed to be spotted together a lot to be seen a realistic couple, and with paparazzi swarming the both of them at the moment, it wouldn’t be hard to strike up buzz.

“Uhhh probably just more social media stuff, get people hooked. We’re ‘like a drug’ to the fans according to my agent.” Phil shifted uncomfortably as he quoted his agent, clearly as uneasy about the way it sounded as Dan was. A drug? What did that even mean?

“Sooooooooooooo should we hang out like this again sometime? Soon?” Maybe Dan was just hoping he could spend more time with Phil, but he could paint it as part of the deal and nobody would ever have to know the difference.

“Yeah, I’ll text you.” Dan simply stared at Phil because how in the hell did he have his number? Did his publicist give it to him? This whole goddamn time they could’ve been texting each other? And they weren’t?

“That was a hint for you to give me your phone so I can put my number in it.” Phil said with a chuckle.

Oh.

Dan grabbed his cell off the little coffee table, the place he’d set it down when they first started playing mario kart, and stood to hand it to Phil, trying to keep his head down so his blush wasn’t too apparent.

Of course he wants your number, you have to communicate somehow. Don’t read too much into this, don’t read too much into this, don’t read too much-

“We still need to take that picture, ya know, to make us instagram official.” Phil said, startling Dan out of his thoughts and handing him back his phone. Phil really typed fast.

“Yeah, Shannon- er my manager- will kill me if we forget. Like actually behead me, like hide the guillotine.”

Phil just laughed at his weird attempt at humor, bless his little heart.

“Alright well let’s do this thing, I’d rather like you to keep your head attached to your body.”  

Dan tapped around on his phone a little bit and pulled up the camera and both boys positioned themselves so that the lighting was okay and they could both be seen effectively.

They took a few of them together, smiles bright with Phil peeking over Dans shoulder.

And then Phil did something unexpected.

He reached his long neck over and planted a soft lil kiss onto Dan’s cheek, right over his dimple and Dan, unsure of how to react, just kept snapping pictures. And once Phil felt they had a sufficient amount to pick from with the cheek kisses, he snuggled his face into Dan’s neck and Dan just kept taking those pics, his body wanting him to have a completely different reaction.

Holy fuck.

Just as fast as Phil had attached to himself Dan he was backed away, the smile not leaving his face though.

“Sorry, hope that wasn’t awkward.”

“Oh, no, you’re fine, we’re both actors right? Totally fine. I’ll go through and find the good ones and post them later. Gotta call my mum first or she’ll be livid, ya know how it is.”

Dan was rambling, trying to make the situation seem casual when really his insides were ready to explode out of his ass.

“I haven’t even told my mom about the whole gay thing. I’m not quite sure how she’ll take it, so I just kind of… put it off.”

All Dan wanted to do was hug the guy, all the dumb crush feelings forgotten as he remembered how rough things actually were for Phil right now. Publicly outed, not even getting a chance to tell his family. It sounded like hell, yet he was handling it like a champ. Almost too well.

“That’s no good. You’ve gotta talk to your mum, call her up. Throw down the facts. If she doesn’t like it then I’ll be your mum from now on, simple as that.”

Phil laughed a little at that last part, but overall seemed uncomfortable with the idea. Dan could definitely see why, it was terrifying to think that the one person that’s supposed to love you unconditionally could turn you away simply for being true to yourself, but he also knew that finding out your son was gay from the internet was 100 times worse than hearing it from him.

“We’ll see.”

“Call me up if you need emotional support, I know a thing or two about this whole ‘coming out’ bullshit.” It had been a daunting process for Dan, no one in his family understood what being bisexual even meant, he was constantly being asked if he was sure he wasn’t just gay or just straight but in time they learned and now’s in a pretty good place with his family.

“Thanks, I might take you up on that offer. Maybe.”

“You can’t run away from your problems.”

“I can try.” Phil said with a shrug.

“You’re a mess Lester.”

“Well when you get your shit together and post on instagram, I’ll officially be your mess.”

That stopped Dan in his tracks, unable to think of a witty remark to keep up their little game because surely that was flirting. This wasn’t just Dan making up little things in his head, anyone would interpret that as flirting, right? If this was just for the public Phil wouldn’t have said that inside the confidence of Dan’s home, where nobody was around to hear them.

Lucky for Dan, the buzzer went off moments later, covering his ass.

Dan quickly moved from the lounge, where they were standing, to his little foyer, and over to the intercom.

“Hello.” Dan said into the little microphone, realizing Phil had followed him into the room only after he felt a little tickle of breath on his neck.

“I’m here to pick up Phil Lester, and no sir, this isn’t a prank.”

Dan felt just a little embarrassed as he typed in the password to open the gate. He had only been asking if he was being pranked because he’d been told the wrong day, it was a valid question at the time, now it just felt a little silly.

“Alright, well, I’ll see you later I guess.” Dan said.

“Yeah, I’ll be looking out for your instagram post.”

“You better turn on notifications.”

“Oh, I will.”

Again, Dan had a blush on his face because of Phil.

The doorbell began ringing and before he opened the door, Dan looked over at Phil and said “don’t forget about your mum, Phil,”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Dan smiled at him and Phil smiled back and then Dan opened up the door and stepped out of the way so that Phil could get through. Standing there, outside, was the same muscular man that had been with him when Phil was left at Dan’s home less than 2 hours ago.

It didn’t feel like that little of time had passed, yet it truly had been less than 2 hours. Dan waved as Phil got into his car, making it seem like a bigger thing than it was for all the people with cameras lined up behind his iron gate which he was certain were taking pictures like mad.

After Phil’s car had pulled away, Dan went back inside and immediately flopped down onto the couch and clicked the tv off from when they were playing mario kart earlier.

Dan was in deep. So incredibly deep.

This little rendezvous only furthered Dan’s suspicion that he liked Phil, like a lot. He was just as fantastic in real life as Dan had imagined which was really just a big problem.

What’s one to do when they like their fake boyfriend? That’s just a whole new level of complicated that Dan didn’t want to delve into just yet. So he just put it off, the exact thing he’d advised Phil against doing.

God, he was in so so deep. 

[henry-hart]

I have the big writer’s block so I don’t have much but uhhh how about some good ol fashioned squad fluff with ray and the kids?

OKAY I HAD THIS ALL TYPED OUT AND IT WAS PERFECT BUT THEN MY LAPTOP FREAKING REFRESHED THE PAGE AND I LOST IT. HHHHHH

I hope I remember it well enough

(I feel that writer’s block frustration. It’s a mcfreakin’ pain in the butt, my dude.)

I made it a little goofy as well as fluffy bc I really like the comedic dynamic of HD. I hope you like it!!!! :)))))

I just got back from a beach trip, so let’s go with that

it’s summer in Swellview and it’s crazy hot

that summer heat is taking no prisoners

Ray is down in the Man Cave and everytime the elevator opens up, it lets out all the hot and stuffy air from the store

he’s all “no. nope. not happening. I’m here sweating when I could be on the beach sipping from a coconut with one of those frilly umbrellas. this is unacceptable.”

he calls Schwoz and the kids and tells them he’s taking them on a spontaneous beach trip

he says he wants them to come with bc he doesn’t want to be alone and look like a creep

but it’s really bc he enjoys their company and wants them to have fun

he sends the kids home to get ready while he closes shop

“Can Piper come?” “Who’s Piper?” “My little sister, Ray.” “Aw, no. Is she that little loud girl?” “I guess she can be loud? Anyway, can she come or not?” “I feel like saying ‘not’ would make me a bad person but I really don’t want to say yes….” “Come on, man.” “UuuuuUUUggggGGGGhhhHHH fine. Paper can come.”

they all pile into Ray’s car

the ride there is a bit chaotic bc the beach is 45 min away and the car is cramped and it’s hot and no one can agree on a radio station to listen to

“Henry, I’m not going to say it again. Move. Over.” “Piper, I’m not even touching you.” “You’re about to touch me.” “Are you kidding me?” “No, I’m not.” “Where do you want me to move? There’s only so many seats in the car.” “I don’t care. I can feel the heat coming from your gross body.” “Okay, I’m not gross, for one, and I would scoot over if Jasper would get in his seat.”

“I already told you I can’t be by the window. I get carsick.” “Then why did you choose the window seat?” “Because I get claustrophobic in the middle seat.”

“Henry, I’m gonna kill him.” Char overhears and intervenes. “Hey, Piper, why don’t you sit with me on the way back?”

Ray heard all of their bickering, so he rolled the top down to cool them all off

as soon as they got to the beach, Schwoz shot out of the car blurting out something about having to pee

Ray packed food from the auto-snacker (sandwiches, chips, fruit, etc.–things he thought the kids would like), so he grabs the ice chests full of food/drink while the kids get their stuff

there isn’t too many people on the beach, so they don’t have a problem finding a quiet spot

Char x Piper get Hen to take pics of them right where the waves meet the sand

Piper posts them with captions like “beach day with my best-ay” and some lyrics about summer

she even takes a few with Hen for their parents

Jasper brought wayyyyy too much sunscreen

“I don’t joke about my skin care. Skin cancer is not a joke. Do you think I maintain this ivory color by not using sunscreen?”

Piper agrees with him bc she’s fair-skinned too

Hen doesn’t like it too much bc he doesn’t like how it feels, but it beats sunburn

Ray, however, won’t use it.

“I’m indestructible. The sun is no match for me.” “It’s literally a ball of fire in the sky.” “Psh. I’ve had worse.”

the kids don’t agree with him, but they know arguing is futile so they let it go

Hen brought a beach ball and some paddles with a matching little ball

the Harts used to go to the beach a lot, so Hen had a lot of stuff to choose from

he and Piper team up like they used to when they were younger and together they are un-beatable

like

no one else wins. at all.

they have this ridiculous handshake/victory dance they do every time they win and it’s so over-the-top (like Ross x Monica’s new years dance routine for you friends fans)

even Ray thinks it’s a bit much

Char x Jasp have no idea what to think

they’ve never seen Hen like this

“I always thought Piper was the scary one.” “I know. Did you see Hen’s face when I scored a point?” “He looked like he was going to kill you.” “Yeah, and Piper looked like she was going to help him get rid of any evidence.”

(I like that little ride or die sibling bit ajksjslksj)

Schwoz comes back from the restroom and Ray scoops him up, running to the water to throw the little man in

everyone joins in

the tide is pretty rough and Ray’s a little worried

esp for Char and Schwoz and whatever her name is bc they’re all pretty short

Hen is chasing Jasp x Piper, pretending to be Jaws

a pretty big wave comes and washes over all of them

Hen x Jasp are okay bc they could just easily stand up but Piper is a lot shorter

Hen starts freaking out when she doesn’t come up

Ray is worried too

he sees the little girl and immediately yanks her out of the water and into the air

“Paper! Paper! Are you okay???”

she swallowed a good bit of nasty saltwater that burned her throat/nose, but she’s okay

“It’s Piper.”

Hen sighs in relief, moving the hair out of her face. “She’s fine.”

they take a break from the water for a bit to eat lunch

Ray unpacks the food he brought for them

Hen x Jasp eat their lunch on an inflatable unicorn inner tube :)

Piper takes some more pics of the gang eating

she records a snapchat video of Hen being attacked by a swarm of seagulls after his sandwich

he takes off down the beach after them but gives up, hoping the birds at least enjoy it as much as he did

he doesn’t bother asking Pipes to delete it bc he knows she won’t

after lunch Hen x Char go off alone to collect seashells

Hen finds a really pretty spiral shell to give to his mom

Jasper tries to get Ray to at least put on a little sunscreen, but Ray is still being ridiculous

Piper is flying a kite, but Schwoz keeps pestering her about using a new device he created that’s supposed to make the kite fly ten times higher

she lets him do it just to shut him up, but it goes wrong

the string gets cut, and her favorite kite flies away just like the birds did with Hen’s sandwich

she’s furious

Ray jumps between them just in time

a second later and Schwoz would be pummeled

“Look, Paper, I know he’s an idiot, but I kind of need him, so if you could just not kill him, I’d really appreciate it.”

“Its. Piper.”

Hen x Char return from collecting shells and everyone gets back in the water

he won’t let Piper go out in water that reaches any higher than her stomach (she put up a fight but she agreed, not wanting to drink anymore disgusting water)

Jasp x Hen played a game where they’d wait for a big wave and then turn around so that they could fall backwards into it

a fish brushed against Schwoz’ leg, and he tried to jump up on Char to get out of the water

she just dropped him so the he ended up going under right where there was a school of fish

Ray let Char x Piper get on his back so he could tow them around

he also picked them up so he could toss them into the water (playfully, of course)

a fish nibbled Jasper’s foot, and he wanted to catch it so he could bring it home as a pet

no one could catch it, and there was no way of telling which fish it was

Hen got a pretty gnarly sting from a jellyfish, so they all decided it was time to get out of the water

the sun was beginning to set anyway so the others weren’t too upset about getting out 

there was still some food left over from lunch, so Ray made a little campfire and they all ate a light dinner

they watched the sun dip down below the horizon line

the sky turned dark

Ray reached behind his back and pulled out a surprise: s’mores

Hen’s leg was still hurting so Ray handed the s’more fixings to Piper

“Here, Piper. Why don’t you make one for Henry?”

she just stared at him, shocked that he had used her real name for the first time

she didn’t say anything 

she just took the food from Ray and made her brother a s’more just the way she knew he liked it: marshmallow extra crispy, chocolate extra gooey, and graham cracker as is

Ray smiled to himself, knowing Piper’s reaction was bc he’d remembered her name

he didn’t call any attention to it though, knowing neither of them wanted that

they ate their s’mores in comfortable silence

Char noticed Schwoz was smiling mischieviously

��Schwooooooz…..why are you making that face?” 

he just giggled and produced a small guitar from behind his back

everyone groaned

“What? What? Why the not happy sounds?” Ray just rolls his eyes. “Because, Schwoz, no one wants to hear you play.” “Why? What’s wrong with my tunes?” “Your ‘tunes’ sound like a dying cat.” “So does your singing, but I never tell you you can’t.”

he plays anyway and…he’s actually…..really….good???

“Schwoz, where’d you learn to play like that?” “I had lessons.” “When? You never leave the Man Cave?” “………from Lelani….”

Char keeps Ray from jabbing Schwoz with his hot s’mores stick

Schwoz keeps strumming away while they all sit around the campfire, listening to it crackling, listening to the waves crashing against the shore, watching the light flicker on everyone’s faces, watching the smoke from the fire rise up the the stars

the kids almost fell asleep, but Ray got them up and in the car, deciding it was time to go home

he let them get seated while he packed everything up

the kids did fall asleep on the drive home

Ray kept the hood down so the cool night breeze makes its way to everyone

he finds an alternative station that’s playing a slow, soft, hypnotic song that’s perfect for night drives

he keeps checking on everyone in his rear view mirror and smiles big when he sees them all sleeping soundly in the same seating arrangements that had caused problems before

Hen x Piper are leaning against each other when they’d been complaining about being too close before

Jasp is propped against the window, no longer needing to worry about getting car sick since he’s sleeping

Char even let Schwoz use her as a makeshift pillow despite the fact that he drools

Ray turned the radio up a little bit

he drove on under the yellow street lights in the quiet night, listening to the quiet pulsing song, feeling perfectly content and happy

it had been a good day 

bonus:

Ray wakes up the next morning and screams at the top of his lungs

he’s as red as a stop sign

he got sunburned after all (just as everyone else knew he would)

“Sun: 1 Ray: 0″